#Like is anon trying to stir trouble???

[acewithapaintbrush]

I really can't decide what I should be insulted by the most: the fact that I haven't yet received the 'in your honest opinion what's the best Encanto blog' anon ask or that none of my mutuals have answered ME!!!

#I'm joking of course #OR AM I????? #I know I can not really call myself an Encanto blog #But it's so fun how all my mutuals get that ask #Like is anon trying to stir trouble??? #Or genuinely curious? #If it's the first though luck #The Encanto Fandom is too sweet for that

[tarjapearce]

Lips anon! Imagine Miguel having a nightmare about some other man putting his hands on his wife. He wakes up pissed and takes it out on her. Growling that she's his and that no one else will have her. Rough, possessive fucking. But the wife doesn't mind because he's hitting all the good spots lol (good ol' doggy style and mating press 🤭)

👀👀👀. FILTHYNESS UNDER CUT.

P. d. About time they got some 😂

Your moans just turned erratic, needy and begging. He could only watch. What was happening?

Your breath hitched and he knew. He knew how your breathings turned when you were about to come undone.

No. Another breathless whimper

No. NO.

Someone was fucking his wife and it wasn't him. Rage boiled inside, nostrils flaring when you came undone. Just when he was about to see who provoked such things on you, he jolted awake. Fist clenching the sheets, cock painfully hard between his legs and sweat covering his chest, a wet stain on his shirt.

A bad dream.

He had seen how other men stared at you, how they gawked at you back at the pool. There wasn't time to show you were only his. The idea of someone else having you? No.

It revolted his stomach in utter rage. He couldn't. No. He stood and removed his shirt, to then lock your room. You were on your side of the bed, sleeping. You'd never leave him, thats for sure.

A little moan.

He growled and he approached. Who was making your moan like that? He wasn't a possessive man, until he fucked two babies into you and gave him the best time of his life so far.

Carefully he pulled the sheets off your body, you stirred and smiled lazily

"Go back to sleep. I wanna cuddle you." You mumbled and patted the space next to him.

"Can't sleep." He grumbled and took a hold of your ankle and pulled you down the bed. A little surprised squeal left your lips. Heart pounding in your chest as he slid nonchalantly a hand inside your pants, fingers dexterously parting and exploring your folds. You were soaked.

"Heard you moan. Who was it?"

"W-What?"

"Who had you moaning like that? "

He was out of himself, you couldn't help but giggle at his question. Something that stopped when he pulled your pants down, nearly tearing them in the process. His eyes stalked yours, to assert his eye contact.

"N-None but you I swear!" Trouble was a little word to actually describe what you had gotten into. Your eyes drifted to his groin and widened in alarm at his girth. He was big, but seeing it, outlined, constricted in his pants made you catch your breath. He leaned closer, his grip on your ankles tightening slightly.

"Liar." He mumbled and flipped you over. Red eyes glinting with such hunger it made your skin shiver as he spanked you so hard it stung. Handprint drawn in your right butt cheek. He melded you like a rag doll. Ass up high, chest flat on the mattress, legs separated by his frame. You clenched the sheets in anticipation.

"No sabes el coraje que me da cuando otros pendejos te desean" (You don't know how angry I get when other fuckers want you.)

He pumped a couple of times his girth and slid it in one go into your snug and squelching cunt. You whimpered at the fullness of your womb. He propped a leg on the bed, his foot supporting on the mattress as he still towered over you, holding you in place by your hips as his other foot remained on the floor for leverage.

"-Gimiendo mientras otro te toca" (Moaning as someone else touches you.)

He wasn't nice to your soaked hole. Your knuckles went white at the sheer force you held on the sheets. Chin rubbing furiously, up and down the sheets. You could only hear the loud and wet incessant slappings of your flesh being mercilessly punished for a crime you certainly hadn't committed.

He pounded into you with abandonment, his lips moved but you were too cock drunk to actually try and understand, all you knew is that he was pissed.

"Mi... Mig-" You bit the sheets, drowning a high pitched wail that rasped in your throat. His large hand pushed your head further in the mattress, making you arch your spine in a perfect angle to bully his cock into you.

"F-Fuck" your hands flailed to try and get a a hold of his leg. Your whole body lurched forward at every rough, and pitiless thrust.

`Oh my god' you mouthed, unable to voice the searing pleasure to bit harder every time he rammed into that spot only his cock could, ass bounced deliciously against him, he could see your slick coating and soaking his manhood. Pussy clenching so tightly around him, melded to his size, a perfect pussy sleeve for him.

Your eyes rolled back as pleasure drowned you.

You growled as your body went taut, coming all over him.

"Think I'm done with you? Oh no, no. No te la vas a acabar conmigo, chiquita" (A threat done) He growled into your ear

He flipped you over again, you sobbed as he folded you in half and pulled you closer to his groin. Your tiny frame embraced by both his arms, locking your trembling legs in his forearms, your knees at every side of his neck. His cock stretched you impossibly deep.

Whining, you wrapped your weak arms around his neck. Angry eyes locked with your pleading ones.

A silent fuck me.

A wicked smirk appeared on his lips, his fangs baring. A thrust. Your air was knocked out of you as he pushed in.

His mouth assaulted yours. Teeth pulling and fangs prickling at your bottom lip, tugging. He stared at you with a malicious smirk. Proud of your tousled looks. Your nails dragged on his back, scratching, encouraging him to move his hips.

All you could see and feel was him. Your mouth gaped open as his arms cradled you tighter and just when you though he couldn't be rougher, his cock proved you wrong.

"¿Crees que otro cabrón te va hacer sentir como yo? No." (You think another son of a bitch will make you feel like I do?)

Your whole body shook underneath him, your toes curled at every plunge he did. You felt dizzy. His body heat had drenched you sweat, your lungs demanded for air, air that he kept knocking out of your ribcage. It was maddening, the way he clung to you was possessive, his moan ands growls turned almost animalistic, his fangs sunk into your neck and for a second you were sure that you had said Hi to God himself as your orgasm crashed hard.

Your body convulsed, as ragged pants fanned the crook of his neck. He loved when he painted your walls white as your insides smooched him.

"Eres mía" (You're mine)

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x reader #💋 anon #atsv miguel #miguel o'hara smut #t writes✨ #Had to breathe between paragraphs

[calicoheartz]

So ready to be fed tonight 💛

I was wondering if you could do a jealous!Caitlin x reader that's maybe slightly suggestive? It's okay if not !!

Green Eyed Passion ; Caitlin Clark ⟢﹒

summary : jealous! caitlin x reader 🫣

wc ; 773

warnings : very suggestive , read at your own risk.

my master list ㇀♡

a/n : anon , you have just been served a full course meal. This was sooo fun to write!!! enjoy besties ◡̈

Caitlin is used to being confident in herself. As an extremely talented and successful basketball star, she had no trouble attracting and dealing with unwanted attention. However, when she started dating you, a young and attractive individual who had a captivating personality, she found herself facing a new emotion: jealousy.

It all began innocently enough. You had been dating for a few months, and everything seemed perfect. You rarely argued, had little disagreements, and most importantly you shared the same interests. Never failing to make eachother laugh even in the worst of situations, it was obvious that you were each other’s person.

But one evening, as you both were attending a team event, Caitlin couldn’t shake the feeling of this rather unfamiliar emotion.

You however, were in your element. A dimly lit bar filled with different characters from all walks of life, it fascinated you, you absolutely adored engaging in conversation with others. Your charisma drawing in people like moths to a flame, your eyes sparkling in every animated conversation you found yourself in. Caitlin however, watched from the sidelines; simply smiling politely as she watched admirers approach you to strike up simple exchange.

Her mood, however, quickly soured when she noticed you talking to a fairly tall, and attractive figure. A little bit too close for Caitlin’s pleasure.

She continued to watch you from across the room, how your laugh echoed, how close you two were, stirred up feelings she didn’t even know she had. Trying to shake off this feeling, she joined a group of her other teammates, trying to take her mind off of you and your seemingly interesting conversation. But she couldn’t help but keep stealing glances at you and this mysterious stranger, immediately being stung by a wave of jealousy.

As the evening went on, Caitlin found herself being more and more isolated. She tried to engage in conversation with you, but to no avail. You seemed distracted, with your attention constantly drifting back to the figure.

Finally, unable to contain her jealousy, she approached the both of. Simply grabbing your wrist and muttering a “Sorry, please excuse us”, as she quickly dragged you away to a secluded area inside the bar

“What's going on?” she asked harshly, clearly trying to mask her jealousy. You took a step back, clearly confused on what she meant, “huh? What do you mean?”. She furrowed her brows at your response, clearly unsatisfied with your answer. “You know what I mean y/n. What is going on?”. She glared at you, her 6’0 frame overpowering yours as she simply corned you against the wall.

You smirked, now realizing why the brunette was acting so strange. She was jealous. It was very rare for Caitlin to act like this, and the outcome would only lead to one possible scenario. You were about to get your shit rocked.

You bit your lip, simply batting your eyelashes at her, sweetly saying, “i don't know what you mean, baby”.

Ohhhhhh shit. That did it. If she wasn't turned on before she definitely was now. And to be fair she wasn't the only one, you could feel a slight stickiness in between your thighs.

As if it was second nature, she captured your wrist, not even saying a word, and dragged you out of the bar and into the passenger seat of the car.

Even on your way back home, not even a slight glance was given to you, her knuckles as white as your bed sheets as she aggressively gripped the steering wheel. You knew you were fucked. She knew you were fucked, now what is going to be done about it?

As soon as you arrived at your shared apartment she immediately pinned you against the wall, her hands immediately finding their way into your locks, intertwining them in between her fingers. With one free hand, she caressed your face, as she slowly started to place wet kisses on your chest, leaving soft love bites in the process. You let out a small, but audible moan at her actions, letting her know to keep going. She slowly kept going down until she reached your collarbones until she abruptly stopped. You pouted, cool air quickly hitting your flesh where her lips had once been seconds earlier.

She gave you a sly smile, lowly muttering

Why would you start something you wont be able to finish?

omg okay woah that was intense !! definitely will write more content like this in the future.. 😏 tysm for reading lovelies !

#wlw #caitlin clark #headcannons #my hcs #paige bueckers #uconn wbb #wcbb #wlw imagine #caitlin clark x reader #suggestive #kate martin #hawkeye #22 #paige bueckers x reader #wlw post #wlw love #iowa wbb #wbb

[imaginesforfandom]

A Wolverine's Heartache - Part I

Part II Part III

Requested by Anon!!!

Logan Howlett x fem!Reader

She/Her pronouns used

Summary: On two separate occasions, both Y/N and Logan find jealousy within their friendship.

Y/N couldn't shake the feeling of unease that crept up whenever she saw Logan and Jean together. Jean Grey, with her fiery red hair and telepathic abilities, had a magnetic presence that drew people in – including Logan. Y/N had always considered Logan a close friend, but the way he and Jean interacted left her grappling with an unfamiliar emotion: jealousy.

One day, the three of them found themselves in the mansion's kitchen, preparing a meal together. As they chopped vegetables and exchanged banter, Y/N couldn't help but notice the way Logan's eyes lingered on Jean. The easy camaraderie between them felt like a barrier, and Y/N struggled to find her place in their dynamic.

"What do you think, Y/N?" Jean asked, breaking into Y/N's thoughts.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sounds good," Y/N replied, forcing a smile. She busied herself with the task at hand, trying to push away the irrational feeling of jealousy that clawed at her insides.

Logan noticed her distant expression and furrowed his brow. "Somethin' on your mind, kid?"

Y/N hesitated, then decided to be honest. "It's just… I sometimes feel like I'm the third wheel when you two are together."

Logan glanced at Jean, then back at Y/N, a hint of realization in his eyes. "We're just friends, Y/N. You know that, right?"

Y/N nodded, but the knot of jealousy persisted. It wasn't about doubting their friendship; it was about grappling with a longing she couldn't quite put into words. As days passed, the tension lingered, and Y/N found herself withdrawing, avoiding situations where she might witness Logan and Jean's closeness.

One evening, Y/N sat alone in the garden, contemplating her feelings. Storm, sensing her distress, approached and took a seat beside her. "You seem troubled, Y/N. Care to share?"

Y/N sighed, looking up at the stars. "I don't know, Storm. It's just… Logan and Jean, they have this connection. I can't help feeling like I'm on the outside."

Storm placed a comforting hand on Y/N's shoulder. "Sometimes, we create our own barriers. Have you talked to Logan about how you feel?"

Y/N shook her head. "I don't want to cause any problems. They're happy together, and I'm just the friend."

Storm smiled gently. "Communication is the key. You may be surprised at what you find."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan clenched his jaw as he watched Y/N and Hank engage in a lively conversation across the lab. The two shared a camaraderie that went beyond mere friendship, and it left a bitter taste in Logan's mouth. He had never been one to easily admit his feelings, especially when it came to matters of the heart, but the sight of Y/N and Hank together stirred a deep-seated jealousy within him.

It wasn't that Logan doubted Y/N's friendship or loyalty. Hank was a brilliant scientist, and they often found common ground in their discussions about mutations and experiments. Yet, there was an intimacy in the way Y/N laughed at Hank's jokes and the ease with which they collaborated on various projects that struck a nerve with Logan.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the Xavier Institute, Logan found himself nursing a drink at the mansion's makeshift bar. Y/N and Hank were engrossed in a lively debate in the corner, their laughter rising above the low hum of conversations.

Storm, sensing Logan's unease, joined him at the bar. "Something on your mind, Logan?" she asked, her keen eyes noting the tension in his posture.

Logan grunted, taking a swig of his drink. "Just ain't sittin' right with me, that's all."

Storm followed his gaze to where Y/N and Hank were still deep in conversation. "Y/N values her connections with all of us. Hank is a friend, nothing more."

Logan's gaze hardened, his knuckles white around the glass. "I know that, Storm. It's just…damn it, I can't help feelin' like I'm playin' second fiddle to that furball."

Storm raised an eyebrow, her expression softening. "Jealousy, Logan?"

He scoffed, avoiding eye contact. "Ain't my style."

But Storm saw through the facade. "Maybe it's time to talk to Y/N. Let her know how you feel. Communication can clear the air, my friend."

Logan grunted again, mulling over Storm's words. As the night wore on, the tension between him and Hank remained unspoken, simmering beneath the surface. Little did Logan know that the impending tragedy on the horizon would soon force him to confront his feelings, revealing the depth of his emotions in a way he had never anticipated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

second part should be out tomorrow!! thank you again to the Anon that requested this 😊 i hope you don't mind that i'm including both of the requests into one fic!

#logan howlett #james howlett #wolverine #logan howlett x reader #james howlett x reader #wolverine x reader #logan howlett x you #james howlett x you #wolverine x you #logan howlett x y/n #james howlett x y/n #wolverine x y/n #logan howlett oneshot #james howlett oneshot #wolverine oneshot #logan howlett imagine #james howlett imagine #wolverine imagine

[lemon-boy-stan]

May I request Childe, Kaeya, Diluc, and Thoma with a tsundere s/o who is trying to work up the courage to tell the guy that they love him for the first time?

Tsundere reader telling Genshin men "I love you" for the first time

Tsundere: Tsundere is a Japanese term for a character development process that depicts a character with an initially harsh personality who gradually reveals a warmer, friendlier side over time. The word is derived from the terms tsun tsun and dere dere.

Genre: fluff! Enemies to lovers. Warnings: none. A/N: anon asked for Thoma, but I haven't met him yet so I'll do my best!! Featuring: Diluc, Kaeya, Childe, Thoma. Also, apologies, I didn't realise these would end up being so long. Hope you like it anon!

DILUC

Honestly, you both hated each other. Diluc was not the kind of person who got close to people. He didn't look fondly upon rule-breakers either, and you just seemed to bring trouble with you everywhere. His fondness for you, however, grew over time, in battle, where you'd come running to him for help.

Of course, despite your snarky remarks to him, Diluc never minded saving your butt. "Master Diluc, always such a show-off," you'd tsk loudly, making him grin and roll his eyes. "Of course, I'm only a show-off for you, my dear." Diluc would attempt to kiss your hand. You'd grab his wrist, flinging to the ground.

It didn't help. Diluc was helplessly in love with you. And what Diluc wanted, Diluc got.

You'd been feeling differently towards the man, but you didn't know what it was. He made you laugh, more than you wanted to, he made you extremely shy, he made your cheeks all red. It was only in battle did you realise what you felt.

A surge of panic shot through you as Diluc fell to the ground, sword clattering. You let out an elemental burst, defeating the remaining enemies, running to his side, lifting him up. "Master Diluc, no! You can't die now. You can't. You can't die, I love you." Tears falling onto his face.

Diluc stirred, smiling up at you. "I'm sorry, my love, say that again?" Smirking, making your ears go red. "I will throw you off this cliff if you ever do that again!" You shrieked at him, pulling him close and hugging him. He laughed softly, "I highly doubt you'd ever be able to throw me."

KAEYA

The Cavalry Captain. He was the most annoying, insufferable person you'd ever met. And he seemed to THRIVE when annoying you. He knew you could probably beat him up if you tried hard enough, but that didn't stop him from challenging you to duels and fights (much to your despair, you always lost in sword-fighting).

You thought Kaeya was just naturally competitve. You thought your persistence in trying to do better than him, impress him, was just because of his personality, not because you liked him. Soon, your friendship, or rivalry, turned into a relationship.

Most of the time with your friends when you'd bicker, it was always the two of you joking around. But this time, the argument blew up Angel's Share. "For the love of..." Diluc rolled his eyes, "can one of you just tell me what's going on so you stop causing a scene?"

You puffed your cheeks, eyes watery. Kaeya rolled his eyes too, "she's overreacting, as usual. It's perfectly fine. She thinks something will happen to me, but it won't, I always end up lucky." You crossed your arms, making a loud, defiant noise.

"I don't want him to go!" You shrieked, glaring at Diluc, "it's too dangerous and he'll get himself killed and I -" Diluc cocked his head, amused. "Yes, Traveller?" You bit your lower lip, not daring to look Kaeya in the eye. "And I love him," you whispered. Diluc's eyes widened. There was a loud crash next to you and you jumped. Diluc grinned, covering his mouth to hide his laughter, "I think my brother loves you too."

Kaeya had fallen off the stool, and was lying on the ground.

CHILDE

There was just something about him that made him punchable. Maybe it was his daring personality, his lack of care, his flare for rule-breaking. Or it may just be his face. Anyhow, whenever the two of you were together and whenever he let out a "hey, girlie" from his mouth, you'd put him in a headlock or kick him in his crotch.

This apparently did not stop him from being helplessly in love with you. Often Tartaglia found himself reciting ways to ask you out in the mirror. And, when he enacted on them, often you'd punch him.

And although you would never admit it to yourself or anyone, you'd grown a strong fondness for the boy, a crush even, and you finally had the courage to ask him out.

Pretty soon, your relationship was in full swing.

Childe went out of his way to spoil you, bringing you the best foods, taking you to the most expensive places on dates. It was on one of these dates, where he truly shocked you, presenting you with a gift that was so beautiful you cried.

"Archons, Childe!" You gasped loudly, for once at a loss for words. Tartaglia bit his lip, "why? What's wrong? Do you not like it? I can return it..." But you shook your head, letting out a defiant noise, putting it on. "No! I love it so much. I love you so much, Ajax." And Childe almost fell of his seat as he stuttered out the words, "I love you, too."

THOMA

It was obvious. A little too obvious. Anyone and everyone knew, even you. Thoma was, undeniabally head over heels for you. And you? You despised him. He was just trying too hard!

He was always coming with you on commissions, following you around since the day you met so much that your friends had called him your shadow. It was only when he saved you in battle did you finally feel something for him.

"You're so rash," he murmured, placing bandages on your arm. You giggled softly, feeling a bit drowsy and silly from the medicine. "You're so cute, Thoma!" You giggled, booping his nose. He scrunched his face and you giggled again.

"I love your hair," you sighed dreamily, "mm, love when you look after me all the time. Love when you save me, love... love you... Love Thoma soo much!" You squeaked, slapping your hand over your mouth at the last part. Thoma froze, shell-shocked. You giggled again, pulling him close. "Oops! I um, I didn't mean to say that!" Pressing your lips against his.

He chuckled, "mm, and I'm sure you didn't mean to do that either, honey."

GENSHIN IMPACT MASTERLIST

NAVIGATION

I'M SORRY THESE WERE SO BAD AND CRINGE 😭😭😭

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact x you #genshin impact fluff #diluc #kaeya #thoma #childe #ajax #tartaglia #diluc fluff #kaeya fluff #thoma fluff #tartaglia fluff #diluc ragnivdr fluff #kaeya alberich fluff #kaeya x reader #diluc x reader #thoma x reader #tartaglia x reader #diluc smut #kaeya smut #thoma smut #tartaglia smut

[sehtoast]

Hii! Id like a request!

Could you perhaps do a scenario where the reader gets stranded at an airport (Perhaps with panic attack)?

I'm experiencing this currently and thinking about Homelander is helping, Somehow

i'm so sorry you had to go through that anon ❤️ homie has an odd way of making life's woes suck a little less. apologies that this took as long as it did (and also i've never been in an airport before so idk if this is even the right vibe adfkljdfk), but i hope it's still enjoyable and i hope your airport adventure ended happily.

Oh, if you thought it couldn’t get worse, you were so wrong. 

Cancellations across the board, a raging snow storm outside, disgruntled people everywhere, and far too much noise for your overloaded senses.  This is what you get for flying out to go see a friend in the dead of winter.

It wasn’t like you could call an uber to the nearest hotel, either.  Pretty much nobody was going anywhere in this storm, and you’ve been here for hours now. God, you should’ve picked a morning flight, but you just haaaad to sleep in.

Eventually it started getting to you.

You’re alone, surrounded by angry people, in the middle of fuck knows where, with no guarantee of getting home or if your ticket is still going to be honored and–

You don’t even notice your breathing growing frantic until it’s overpowering and all you can do is hug your knees and try to stay calm–

You reach for your phone and send off a text to the one person who would maybe be awake at this hour.

God I’m fucking stuck here and I miss you and I don’t know what to do.

Your chest feels tight and your mouth is dry.  You hold your phone tight, cringing at the battery level.

7%.

You’d love to charge it, but the iPad parents are currently occupying every outlet in the area and if you hear one more child scream because they couldn’t watch their damn skibidi toilet videos–

It buzzes and you unlock it like a madman.

Told ya you should’ve flown air-Homelander.

You smile, warmth trickling in to fill your otherwise endless pit of anxiety.

It would’ve been too cold on my face :(  and you’d be carrying all my luggage.  Besides, I couldn't ask you to fly all this way.

The next response comes almost instantly.  Well, as instantly as it can with how slow he types.

Picky picky.  Where are you?

In the lounge-ish area.  On the floor, because I guess I picked the busiest airport in the world…

2%.  You’re almost ready to snag one of those outlets and suffer the blubbering.

Shucks, that’s a bummer.  

It’s not so–

You wince as your screen flickers, waves of sadness overtaking you in conjunction with that dreaded anxiety.  Gone is your only lifeline, and it hits you that you’ll have technically left him on read too.  You should’ve told him about your battery– fuck, fuck, fuck.

You hug your knees again and shove your useless earbuds in, hoping to dampen some of the noise.  It doesn’t work, and you can distinctly make out the sound of a man loudly demanding a full refund.

You try to imagine Homelander.  What tales would he have for you once you returned home?  How much trouble did he stir up while you were away?  Probably the usual, but… you were supposed to see him tomorrow morning when you got home.

God, that thought makes you ache for home even more.

You shut your eyes and attempt a nap.

You try and try to sleep to no avail.  Just when you think you might get a wink of rest, you hear audible gasps and shouting.  Your eyes shoot open, expecting the absolute worst, but all you see are two imposing sets of red boots.

“You forgot to text me back,” he says nonchalantly.  

Tears of joy bite at your eyes as you look up, and you all but launch yourself off the ground and into his arms.

“M’sorry,” you mumble against him.  “Battery died.”

“Mm, if you say so. I feel like this was all part of your elaborate plan to get me here.”  Homelander pulls away just slightly to look down at you, a twinkle of sympathy in his eyes- a very rare sight.  “Well, I know I can’t fly you home, because you’ll turn into a big popsicle, but… there is a hotel nearby and you do deserve a nice place to lay your head.”

Your heart feels so warm it could melt the blizzard outside.

“You just gotta tolerate a little cold.” He grins, winking at you.  “And air-Homelander doesn’t have delays.  No luggage fees either.”

You throw yourself back into the hug, squeezing him with all you’ve got.  

“You’re the best,” you whisper in his ear.

“Yeah, I know.”  He replies, uncaring of the spectacle you two must be.  “Now let’s get you cozy.”

#homelander #homelander x reader #homelander fanfiction #antony starr #the boys #request

[im-robins-bitch]

Hii,

If your up for it could u write a fruity four x reader imagine based off of the song tongues and teeth by the crane wives where reader runs into a ex that used to treat them horribly and made them believe that all they could do was hurt other people triggering those old feelings leading them to pull away from Steve, Eddie, Robin, and Nancy

(Sorry for the long ask 🤍)

Poison (fruity four x g!n reader)

Or, You run into your ex and find yourself reflecting on your past self, do you deserve the love you find yourself surrounded with? (3.4k)

Anon, Sorry this took so long, I love the Crane Wives sm I was really excited by this request so I wanted to make it perfect and then it accidentally got really long and filled with irrelevant scenes that I had to scrap and will probably be posted at some point. I hope you like it lmk <3 Thank you so much for the request

Reader was in a toxic, abusive relationship (No scenes of this relationship and it is only briefly mentioned that it was abusive). Reader in this fic was mentioned to be an asshole in the past, but it's up to you whether she truly was or if she just thinks that bc of their ex.

Warnings: mentions of toxic, abusive relationships. Reader thinks she deserved to be hurt, the ex now has a baby. Ex threw things at the reader. Food, depictions of cooking and eating.

“You remember the voices Eddie taught you?” 

Steve sighs into his bowl of lucky charms, stirring the spoon around restlessly. His cereal had gone soggy, something he hated, but he hadn’t had a single spoonful since he sat down. 

“I remember,” He mumbled, looking at the milk in his bowl as if it would conjure up all the answers of the universe for him. You rub a warm hand up and down his back to try and soothe him, it works, a bit. 

Then Eddie's head is poking over Steve’s shoulder, eyeing Steve’s bowl in a way that you know means trouble. Instead of the usual playful spat, that always ends with Steve reluctantly sharing his bowl of cereal, Steve passes Eddie the spoon without argument. 

Eddie kisses his cheek sweetly, rubbing his nose into the chub of his cheek before digging in. “Wanna give us a taste?” Eddie questions, mouth full. 

Steve’s cheeks are pink as he shakes his head, his perfectly styled hair not moving an inch. You can taste all the hairspray he’s used this morning. You keep your warm palm against his back, hoping some of it will seep into his bones and make him a little less tense. 

He’s been like this all week and you know he won’t be able to relax until the day is over. Getting a placement at a kindergarten had been all Steve had talked about all year, all he had been looking forward to. Now it was happening, he was terrified. 

Today was make or break, it was his first attempt at a storytime. 

He had spent a long time researching books with Nancy and had rehearsed reading the book to you and Robin and had practised his voices with Eddie. You thought all this made him overqualified for the position. 

There couldn’t be a person out there who cared so much about this. It was just Steve all over, he cared so much. He loved so much. It made you want to swaddle him in your arms and keep him safe forever. 

“If any of those punks make fun of you let me know and I’ll kick their ass,” Eddie garbled around another mouthful of lucky charms. 

“You think they’ll make fun of me,” Steve worried, his first clenching around the countertop. 

“Eddie!” Nancy chided. Eddie almost lept from his seat at Nancy’s sudden appearance. She stood in the doorway, as perfect as ever. Brown briefcase held tightly in her hand, her blazer hanging perfectly on her small frame. “You’re overthinking this Steve, it’ll be fine,” Nancy assured, kissing the top of Steve’s head. “And for the last time Eddie, no kicking children,” 

“Some kids deserve it” He argues.

“Ready?” Nancy asks you, ignoring Eddie, much to his annoyance.

You cast a wary look at Steve, you were reluctant to leave him alone like this, but you were the girl’s lift to work, so you had to trust Eddie would find a better way to comfort your boyfriend than his current tactic. 

“Ready” You confirmed, checking your reflection quickly in the toaster. 

Nancy pressed a kiss to the back of Eddie's head, eyelashes fluttering against his frizzy hair. Then she moved to Steve, lips lingering a little longer on his cheek.

“Ro-”

“Here!” Robin yelled, interrupting Nancy’s call of her name. She had a reputation for being late that she was trying to put behind her. 

“Let's go!” Nancy sang, holding your arm in one hand and wrapping her other around Robin’s waist to pull her towards the door. 

“Good luck Steve!” The three of you called together.

-

You’re still thinking about Steve and wondering how his story time went as you’re organising the vinyl at work. You wonder if you should call him, trying to remember when the kid's nap time is so you can get him on the phone. You don’t want to interrupt, but you can’t help but worry about him. 

In between thoughts of Steve, you’re trying to keep track of which ABBA albums need to be restocked.

You’re so busy thinking of ways to celebrate or cheer him up in case of disaster, that you miss the chime of the bell.

“Still working here huh?” You freeze at the familiar voice, all thoughts leaving your mind. The one voice you wished you’d never have to hear again. “Some people just aren’t meant to change I guess,” 

You stand up, brushing off the dust on your knees. You hate how you’re immediately flooded with embarrassment. “Can I help you?” You ask in the friendliest voice you can muster. 

They take it in offence, hands held aloft in surrender, “Hey, I didn’t mean anything by it, you really haven’t changed at all,” They laugh, your heart beating faster in your chest at the sound of it. You hate how they still have such an effect on you. 

“Did you want something?” You ask again, colder this time. Letting the hatred you feel seep through. Your arms, crossed over your chest, erupt in goosebumps. You can feel your heartbeat like it’s in your ears, pounding again and again. It’s an effort to remember how to breathe without it sounding rugged. 

You were both bad for each other, that’s what you settled on after the fact. They would tear you to shreds and act as if you were the one in the wrong. You could be just as cruel, the relationship was a toxic one and it turned you both sour. 

 It took so many nights of talking and looking back on the relationship to realise that you didn’t need to be the person they painted you to be. You hadn’t been perfect, no one was, but you felt you had learnt from your mistakes and hoped they had done the same. 

 “Thought we could have an adult conversation, but obviously not,” They sneered, tone condescending. 

They looked around the store you’re usually proud of with disdain. “God, I’m so fucking glad we broke up,” They laugh, flicking the sleeve of a vinyl, making you scowl. You feel the same but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. “My life has been so much better ever since you left it,” 

It’s like a dagger to the chest. If you were in your right mind, maybe you would wonder why if they felt like that they would seek you out. Especially since they don’t even bother to buy anything before they leave.

-

When Robin had last seen you, you were pushing her out of the car, trying to stifle your giggles. 

In her rush to get out of the house on time, she forgot her scarf. You had bundled her up in your own which looked ridiculous. Eddie had knitted it for you, but then he got so caught up in seeing how long he could make it that when you wore it, it went down past your knees. 

You thought it looked great, but it was a bit of a tripping hazard so when it came to Robin you wrapped it around her neck over and over until it was an appropriate length. Only she couldn’t move her neck to look down. You had been laughing at her the whole drive, much to her annoyance. 

Now all she wanted was for you to look at her and laugh, but you didn’t even spare her a glance when she walked into the house, or when she unspooled the long scarf from around her neck. 

You’re still in your work clothes, even though you must have gotten home an hour ago at least. The TV is playing credits, but you’re watching them like they’re the most interesting thing you’ve ever seen. 

All she wants to do is touch you. She restrains herself though, she knows people don’t always want to be touched and it can make things worse. 

As if you can tell that she’s about to ask you something, you change channels and turn up the volume on the TV. You lean against the side of the sofa, further out of her reach and feign interest in a Miami Vice episode. 

Getting the message she leaves you to it and joins Steve and Nancy in the kitchen, who are chatting over the kitchen counter. Nancy has already started making a pot of soup. 

Steve is dutifully making grilled cheese sandwiches and plain slices of toast. They work in unison, Nancy passing Steve the butter before he even needs to ask, Steve wrapping one arm around her hip when he joins her on the hob, warming up the pan so he can toast the bread. 

He’s left two cheese toasties to the side, to be grilled when Eddie gets home. 

“Not waiting?” Robin asks, catching the pair's attention. Nancy smiles, wordlessly passing her wooden spoon to Steve who accepts it without question. She holds Robin tightly in her arms, pressing kisses to her cheeks. She didn’t realise how much she needed a hug until now and how much better it would make her feel after your rejection. 

“Thought some food might cheer everyone up,” Nancy explains, nodding towards the living room. Robins nods, squeezing Nancy back, hoping she won’t let go of her anytime soon. 

“Did she say anything?” Steve asks, looking away from the soup briefly. 

Robin shakes her head sadly and Nancy makes a sympathetic noise in her ear, rubbing her manicured hand up and down Robin’s back. “What about you?” Robin asks Nancy.

“Nothing,” Nancy sighs, pulling away from Robin when she realises that Steve has stopped stirring her soup. She bats his hand away and hip-checks him out of the way, deciding to take charge again. At least that's something she has control over. 

The rest of the dinner is made in relative silence, Robin sets out the cutlery on the living room table, along with everyone’s preferred drinks. At one point Robin can tell you’re about to make an excuse not to eat at all, but a raised brow from Nancy has you sinking to the floor.

Robin’s eyes have been nervously flickering from her soup to you. She’ll see your lips part for a moment like you’re about to say something, but you close them just as fast, swallowing down soup and tearing at your bread. 

You all eat hunched over the living room table, Eddie is missed even more than ever as silence haunts the table. No one can work out what to say.

You can feel yourself putting a dampener on everything but feel so shaken from the interaction this afternoon that it’s all that you can think about. You’ve heard people say their exes were the worst things that happened to them, but you never thought you would have been one of those. 

Had you truly been that bad?

When Nancy leans over to grab your hand you smile at her or attempt to. Then when she lets go your hand sinks off the table and down to your thigh out of reach. 

What if one day they thought about you like that? What if one day they’re glad that you broke up? They continue without you, happier without you. 

It’s then that you remember, to your horror, all about Steve’s story time. The cake you had planned to buy him in celebration.  How could you be so selfish, forgetting about something Steve had been worried about for so long? 

“How did story time go?” You ask, timidly. 

Robin and Nancy are patient, but Steve has never been. He’s going out of his mind with worry. Perhaps it's because he’s suddenly lost a girlfriend before. Thought she had loved him the way he loved her until she pulled the rug out from under his feet and told him it wasn’t working and that they were nothing. 

It took so long for him to come back from that, even though he’s over the girl who said it, he still occasionally fears that all this love could be fleeting.  

He smiles, abandoning the last of his toastie to thread his greasy fingers between your own. They slip against your hand and when he squeezes, he tries to push as much love into it as he can. “It went really well,”

“Yeah?” You ask more enthusiastically. Steve’s smiles have always been contagious. The pretty curve of his smile and the movement of his freckles as his cheeks apple, it’s the kind of smile that makes you believe in love at first sight.

“Mrs Lemon wants me to read again tomorrow,” Steve grins. 

Everyone at the table erupts in excitement at Steve’s news. Robin drops the last bit of her toastie into her soup and has to fish it out with her spoon, fingers turning red in her attempts. Nancy's hand rubs up and down Steve’s thigh, in congratulations for his good news and for bringing you out of your melancholy. 

Robin has you hold up her glass to her lips so she can take a sip of water without getting her soupy fingers all over the glass. It causes her to dribble water all over the table and she can’t even find it in her to be embarrassed when it results in giggles and your fingers brushing across her chin to catch the drips. 

When everyone finished you’re quick to gather everyone's bowls and dismiss any help. You want to feel useful after sulking on the sofa while everyone else has made dinner. 

-

This whole weekend you had been a whirlwind of productivism. Unless Eddie was forcing you to sit on the sofa with his head in your lap, you were doing something for someone else. Any errand anyone was putting off was finished by you that weekend. You had gotten the juice stains out of Steve’s jumper, sewn up the hole in Robin’s jacket pocket, reorganised Nancy’s toiletry cupboard and buffed her briefcase. Eddie had to coerce you into a cuddle to stop you from sewing up the holes in his favourite socks. 

He hadn’t attended last night's dinner but had heard all about it from a concerned Nancy and spent the whole weekend attached at your side. 

He did everything one-handed, not wanting to spend a second not touching you. It was so out of character for you to be so withdrawn. Steve and Robin assumed it was a bad day or more specifically a bad customer. 

Nancy and Eddie had a gut feeling it was something more important. You didn’t often keep things to yourself, you found talking about problems usually stopped them from bothering you so much. If whatever happened hadn’t felt fixable to you by a rant and a cuddle, something must have happened. 

Eddie wanted to be there, ready, for when you wanted to tell him. He never wanted anyone to feel as alone as he once felt, drowning in his worries, before his uncle took him in. 

Nancy, though claiming she was taking a more relaxed approach, glanced at you about every two seconds, checking your reactions. 

So when you had said you needed to go out to the store, Nancy and Eddie shared a look and insisted they both needed to come with you. Eddie for some smokes and Nancy for a specific body lotion she claimed would be too hard for you to find. 

They were so obvious it would be annoying if they weren’t so endearing. 

-

You ended up in Bradleys.

You had been antsy to get in, buy the cake you planned to get for Steve on Friday and then transform yourself into the partner your lovers deserved. 

Instead, Eddie had taken his sweet time driving you all there, even though normally he called the speed limit a suggestion. Then he convinced you that you needed to walk up and down each aisle to make sure you didn’t ‘forget’ anything. It would have been an accomplishment to forget anything when you only have one item to obtain each. 

The basket hooked on one arm, you hooked through the other,  Eddie was strutting down the isles bobbing his head along to the pop songs he ‘hated’. Even though Eddie’s reasoning was ridiculous, it did feel relaxing to take your time walking through the various aisles together. 

Eddie’s fingers were tracing up and down Nancy’s spine as she held two types of tea in her hand, reading the backs carefully. “Do you think these work?” She asked, holding out the packages for you to inspect, two different teas both promising to help with sleep.

You took one out of her hands, to inspect the ingredient list. Robin’s mum had said something about lavender last time you had spoken, but you weren’t sure that was digestible. 

“If you need help sleeping, I’ve got the perfect solution” Eddie teased, arms snaking around Nancy’s waist and squeezing as he dipped his face against her neck. Nancy shivered, feeling his cold nose trace her neck and his curls tickle her collarbones, the basket digging into her sides.

“Stop!” She said, trying not to smile, wiggling out of his arms and lightly slapping at his arms, “I can’t take you anywhere,” 

Eddie pressed a wet kiss to her cheek. His arm went over her shoulder, grabbing the box of tea out of Nancy’s hand and dropping it into the basket. “Mrs Norris used to drink that one,” He explained, taking the other one from your hand to put it back on the shelf. “Always knocked her out cold when she was supposed to be babysitting me”

Nancy huffed, crossing her hands across her chest as Eddie encouraged you both to the end of the aisle, hands wandering. “You have no shame” She scolded, cheeks burning at the wink he gave her in response. Still, he dropped his hands from her but continued to lead you both down to the frozen section, in search of ice cream. 

She stopped at a display of lip balms, letting the two of you go on ahead. Her gaze did not linger on his fingers curled around the basket handle, or the dip of his spine that his cropped band shirt exposed.

You were still smiling over Eddie as you watched him search the freezers for the giant tub of Neapolitan-flavoured ice cream. He always made a big display of it, sometimes he and Robin would compete to see who could keep their hands in the freeze the longest. 

Nancy soon floated behind you, her floral perfume altering you to her presence long before she slid her hand into your own. She leaned into your space, so close you could smell the curl cream she and Eddie shared. The pair, despite their differences, had a surprising amount in common. 

“How mad do you think he’ll be if we refuse to hold his hand when he gets the ice cream?” Nancy whispered. 

“I think we’ll hear about it for the rest of the night,” 

Eddie cranes his head, looking you both up and down conspiringly. He fished the last tub from the back of the freezer and dropped it into the basket with a thud. It crushes the flimsy box of tea, but Eddie’s attention is on the guilty expression you’re wearing. 

He holds his freezing hands out expectantly, wanting you to come and warm him up after his valiant efforts of searching in the freezers. 

Nancy shakes her head at him, but his doe eyes can’t hold you off for long so soon he’s holding one of your hands in both his. You flinch at his touch and he pouts childishly, lashes fluttering. 

“I risk my fingers for you, and this is the thanks I get,” Eddie huffs at Nancy over the top of your head, “At least you love me, sweetheart,” He coos kissing the side of your head. 

“You hardly risked your fingers,” Nancy says rolling her eyes as she tugs your hand to lead you down to the toiletries aisle. You think half-heartedly about the cake, vanilla and shaped like a heart, that you wanted to get Steve, but then think of the crushed box of tea, it might be best to leave it for last. 

“I was very close to hypothermia,” Eddie dramatises, flexing his fingers against yours. You feel the cold bump of his rings, they’re usually cold but feel even more so after being in the freezer. 

Nancy ignores him and walks straight to the body lotion, hand reaching out for her usual choice, but lingering on a couple of new scents. Strawberries & Cream sounds like it would smell pretty nice, plus the bottle matches her nails. 

She picks it up, dropping your hand in the process and uncaps the lid to give it a smell. Eddie takes your dropped hand before it can even fall to your side, now, he threads his fingers through yours with a giddy smile. 

He pecks a kiss on your nose catching you off guard and pulls you off to the side next to the baby powders, moving you away from an oncoming cart. 

You lean in to kiss his own but are brought out of your lovesick stupor by a harsh cough.  Eddie glares at the culprit, kissing your lips extra firm. The person coughs again and you push Eddie away from you and try to move out of the way, catching sight of the person coughing at you. 

It’s always a shock to see your ex unexpectedly, it’s even worse when they’re with a beautiful partner and they have a child sitting in the cart tugging a little plush to their chest. It shocks you for about a million reasons, the most hurtful being that the entire time you had been together they claimed to never want children. 

Yet here, in front of you, is the clear proof that they did. 

“Nancy!” 

It’s a small town, everyone knows everyone. Still, it shocks you that their new partner knows Nancy. You feel so different from your old self that a reminder of it is terrifying. 

Suddenly you’re scared, what had your ex told them? How badly had they painted you? what if they tell Nancy? 

The worst part is that if they were to tell her, it would have been entirely your fault. How could you be mad at someone for telling the truth? You hadn’t been the greatest partner in the past, but you were trying to make up for that. It felt like you had made up for that. 

You make eye contact with your ex, who isn’t even trying to hide their disappointment at seeing you twice in such a short amount of time, still, it’s obvious by the conversation Nancy is getting into that they’ll be standing around for a while. 

Your eyes try to look at everything, but the person who’s fucked with your head for the last couple of days. The child, old enough that it must have been born within a year of your breakup, hair a dark brown colour, coils around their shoulders. They look so happy, a picture-perfect family. 

You excuse yourself, using the cake you need as an excuse to go to a different aisle. Eddie tries to go after you but is cut off by an old lady jamming her shopping cart in front of him with a rude huff, muttering about young people these days. She runs over his foot and he almost takes down the entire shelving unit when he backs into it.

When Eddie finds you, standing in front of an empty shelf, sniffing into your hands, he’s crushed. 

-

The drive back had been awkward. 

Nancy had found you both and sent Eddie to pay for everything while she took you to the car. You refused to cite anything but the cake’s being sold out as the reason for your tears, but it’s clear that there was something more. 

It isn’t until you’re home, that the extent of your upset is clear. At the supermarket, you had clung onto Nancy and Eddie for life, feeling personally devastated at the thought of either of them leaving you.

Now leaving was all you could think of doing. 

You had packed your bag, unpacked and re-packed it again. You just couldn’t get it out of your head, how much happier everyone might be without you. Your last relationship played through your mind like a reel.

All the times your exe had yelled at you, called you a bitch, the problem. You could be forgetful, self-absorbed, hurtful. You thought you had changed, but you had proved yourself wrong on Friday, ignoring Steve’s accomplishment to stew in your self-obsession. 

There was a knock on your door, but it was a warning rather than a request as Steve and Robin barged in without waiting for a response. 

“Are you ok?” Robin asked, skirting around your clutter to land on the bed, beside the duffle bag you were about to re-pack. “Actually no, I know you’re not ok, so don’t bother lying,” Robin huffed, pushing the fly aways from her face and staring at you in determination. 

Her hands darted out to your sides, holding you firmly in place. On her knees, on your bed, she begged you to tell her exactly what was wrong, “You always feel better after talking to me, I can help you, whatever it is. If it’s working at the vinyl store we’ll get you a new job, you could come to work with me in the museum archives?” 

“It’s not…it’s not that,” You stutter, fingers feeling tingly as your eyes dart nervously from Robin to Steve, who hasn’t moved from standing at the door. You can’t see his expression, but the vein on his neck is close to bursting. 

I’m the problem, you think, but you’re all too sweet to realise and you’ll be too kind to tell me when you do work it out. 

Robin’s nose bumps your sternum bringing your attention back to her. She presses a kiss to the swell of your stomach. Her hands are ever wandering, frantic in their need to comfort you, but unsure where to go. “You can tell me,” She promises, her sea-blue eyes boring into yours. Your eyes water as you try to think of what to say. 

“You’re leaving,” Steve’s voice is cold, and his stare is even colder. He nods to the duffle bag on the bed, glaring at it with the heat of a thousand suns. 

Robin looks at the bag that she hadn’t registered, shaking her head in disbelief, until she sees the crumbling expression on your face and realises it’s true. Her hands drop from your body and she darts from the bed like a person burnt. She brushes past Steve, rushing out of your room and you can hear her fast footsteps retreat down the hall.

“You…you don’t understand,” You try to defend, hands falling into fists in frustration. 

“No, I understand,” Steve spits, arms crossed across his chest, muscles clenched, “You’re just like her, only so much worse,” 

“Ste-”

“Don’t” Steve scoffs “You promised us you wouldn’t do this, promised me.” His voice breaks and he has to turn his face to the side, collect himself and wipe the rouge tears that he let escape. 

You sink in on yourself, “It’s…it’s for the best, I’m…I,”

Steve laughs, fist banging against the door frame, startling you, you have to steady your hands on the bed to stop yourself from falling. 

Your stomach lurches, it doesn’t feel right. You’re last breakup hadn’t ended like this, they hadn’t been mad at you for leaving, they had been mad you hadn’t broken up sooner. That they hadn’t been the one to dump you.

You fear you might have made a terrible mistake, but then remember what they had said when you broke up. That you were poison, that you ruined everything that you touched, how much happier they had been before you. Now you knew how much happier they were without you afterwards too. 

They would thank you in the long run. 

“If you walk out this door right now, I’m never going to forgive you,” Steve’s heart was cracking. Just like last time, he was caught off guard. His voice was stern, but his expression was heartbreaking. 

“Steve!” Yelled Nancy, pushing past him in the doorway and walking over to you instead. Her hair was half dry, one side still dripping water onto the collar of her shirt. 

Eddie, hair wrapped in the band shirt he had worn to the store, mirrored Nancy, only taking Steve into his arms instead of you. “Let’s all just calm down a second,” Nancy suggested, pulling you down to sit on her lap. She threw your duffle bag off the bed, sending it clattering into your wardrobe. 

“Take a deep breath,” Eddie suggested, palm warm over Steve’s chest. Robin fiddled with Steve’s fingers, eyeing everyone warily. Steve matched his breathing to Eddie’s, lips wobbling as Eddie’s thumb wiped the sticky tears from his cheeks. 

If you felt awful before, now you feel diabolical. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” You confessed, trying to push out of Nancy's soothing hold because you felt so undeserving. She had a surprising amount of strength though and held you firm against her chest, “I didn’t mean, I don’t want to hurt anybody, this is exactly what I don’t want, I just want you all to be happy” 

Robin, tentatively let go of Steve’s hand, who Eddie was leading further into the bedroom. Nancy wrangled you so you were leaning against her where she sat against the headboard. Her head resting on your shoulder while her hand was rubbing up and down your back. 

Robin sat down at the foot of the bed, hand reaching out carefully to rub at your leg. “Please can you explain? So we can all understand, why you want to…leave,” Robin asked, hardly able to say the word.

The bed dipped as Eddie sat himself down to the side of you and Nancy, but Steve still refused to sit, standing up with his thighs touching the bed, hand clasped tightly in Eddie’s. 

You took a deep breath and tried to explain “I saw, my ex, first they visited me at work-”

Steve’s grip on Eddie white-knuckled as he scoffed, assuming the worst. You shrunk further back into Nancy making her glare at Steve who rolled his eyes. He was still sure you were about to rip out their hearts. 

“Go on,” Nancy encouraged.

“He said, he was glad we broke up and at first I just thought, yeah me too, but then I started thinking and,I was awful,”

“Did you start thinking that? Or did he make you think that?” Nancy asked. 

“Well, I mean, I guess he implied it and he always used to say it, like I would ruin things and he would throw things, sometimes, when I did something bad,” 

Steve sat down on the bed, looking at you tearfully, “He would throw things at you?” Now he felt himself crying for an entirely different reason. 

“It wasn’t- I was just as bad,”

“Did you throw things at them?” Questioned Robin. 

You shook your head, “No, but I de-”

“I know you’re not about to say you deserved it, no one ever deserves that sweetheart,” 

“I was an asshole, I was cruel and hurtful.” You explained, “You can say they shouldn’t have hurt me, but I hurt them just as much with every word I said. How can I deserve to be happy like this? I’ve been trying to change, but what if i can’t” 

Steve feels a rush of sympathy through his chest. The anger that surged through his body turned from a fiery rage to a simmering heat, directed at whoever made you feel like this. He knows exactly how it feels to try to change, but not be given a chance. 

To this day the title of King Steve follows him around like a bad dream. He’s taken responsibility for his actions and changed for the better, but for a long time, he wondered if it would ever be enough to make up for the hurt he had caused. Did he deserve the friendship Robin offered, that had led him down the path to this? 

You gulped eyes starting to water. “I just don’t want to ruin things, I don’t want to hurt anyone I love again, I’m so sorry Steve, I already hurt you so much and if I stay I might-”

Steve shuffled forward, pulling you roughly from Nancy’s embrace into his own. His strong arms wrapped around you and his tear-stained cheeks stuck to your own.  “The only way you could truly hurt me is if you left right now,” He pulled himself out of your embrace so he could hold his face in your hands. 

“You deserve to be happy, you deserve a chance to change,” Steve promises, tacky lips pressing into the top of your head over and over again, trying to let it sink in. 

“For the record, this version of you you’re describing, I don’t think I’ve ever met them,” Eddie says, palm firm as it rubs up and down Steve’s quaking back. 

“But I- I forgot all about Steve’s big day,” You huff, voice thick with frustration. 

“Honey, you spent the morning comforting me and asked me about it when you got home.” Steve placates. 

“Not right away though, I sat on the sofa for ages, just thinking about myself,”

“Think that’s understandable after the run-in you had,” Steve’s hand keeps a warm grip on your cheeks, eyes softening as he kisses underneath your teary eye.

“Lovely, you’ve never made any of us feel anything but loved and I hope you feel the same about us” Nancy offered, stroking your shoulder with soft fingers. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry I even thought about leaving I was just, so caught up and I wasn’t thinking properly.”

 “Do you still want to?” Asked Robin tentatively, hands ghosting the sides of your leg. 

You shook your head, lip starting to wobble, “I never wanted to, I just thought- I thought I had to,- Oof!” You exclaimed, Robin’s soft body dropping on top of you and Steve, squishing you down against Nancy, who took the weight like a champ. 

Her arms winded around Steve, you and Nancy, squeezing Steve so tight he thought she might break one of his ribs. “I think as long as us five stick together, we can get through anything” 

“Well said Buckley,” Grinned Eddie, reaching over to ruffle her hair.

Eventually, you all moved from your room into Nancy and Steve’s which had the biggest bed. 

Nancy was removing the decorative pillows from the bed to place them on the ottoman instead. Eddie was helping, but his idea of helping was throwing them at Robin who was trying to dodge them while drinking the tea Nancy had gotten her at the store. A potentially deadly combination that required Nancy’s intervention. 

Steve was with you in the en suite, the two of you hadn’t spent much time apart since the earlier misunderstanding. Steve had joined you in the shower while Nancy and Eddie finished drying their hair. 

You had shared a bowl of ice cream, even though Steve didn’t like ice cream all that much anymore while watching the Documentary Eddie borrowed from the library for Robin. 

Steve had just finished washing your face for you, letting you sit on the counter. Now you were brushing his hair for him. You started carefully combing it back with a fine-tooth comb, but now we're just using your fingers, styling it wildly to make him laugh. 

You were currently attempting a mohawk with little success. He had one hand wrapped around his toothbrush while the other was holding your wrist, fingers pressing into your pulse. It felt good to be the reason Steve laughed instead of the reason he had been crying. 

“I’m sorry Steve,” You whispered again, against his forehead, pressing a light kiss between his eyebrows. 

“Already forgiven lovely,” Steve promised, bending his head to kiss your pulse point. “ but, please tell me what I did wrong” He murmured, turning bashful.

“What?” Now it was your turn to look at Steve in shock. “You didn’t do anything wrong?” 

“Please, you can tell me, otherwise how will I not do it again?” Steve spares you a glance with eyes so earnest it breaks your heart. 

Steve had felt so guilty since he heard your confession, you had thought that you would make them unhappy, in his head it translated that he hadn’t made it clear just how much he adores you. 

“You didn’t Stevie, I promise. I was too in my own head” You kiss him gently “I still am, to be honest,” You confess smoothing his hair down behind his ears, kissing him once again for good measure. “I promise I’ll tell you next time I start spiralling,”

He burrowed his face in your neck, inhaling the smell of strawberries and cream. It scared him to think he would never be this close to you ever again, that he could lose out on all this. “God I hope there isn’t a next time, I love you, you make me- you make us so much happier,”

“Thank you for caring about me, I know it can be hard,” 

“Caring about you is easy, it’s like breathing I don’t even have to think about it, I just do it” 

“Stevie,” You mumble, tucking yourself against his shoulder, “You’re such a loverboy,” You peck him again. 

After another five minutes of cuddling, you go into the bedroom and find yourself in a love pile on the bed. 

Robin is smushed, out cold on top of you and Nancy. Nancy flanks you one one side and Steve is on your other, breath puffing against your neck. Eddie is wrapped around him, his heavy leg draped across you and Steve. 

If he was ever right, about you being poison, you’re certain you’ve found your antidote. 

masterlist

#fruity four x reader #fruity four blurb #fruity four fluff #robin buckley fanfic #robin buckley fluff #robin buckley blurb #robin buckley x reader #steve harrington fanfic #steve harringon x reader #steve harrington fanficition #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson blurb #nancy wheeler x reader #nancy wheeler blurb #nancy wheeler fanfiction #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfics

[yuri-is-online]

Hello hello! Anon here. First of all, congratulations on getting accepted for your courses! Don't worry about trying to balance work and the blog, we will always be here waiting for you. Second of all, your whole Yutu AU has been really fascinating to look through. (Though that may be because of my bias toward Fire Emblem Awakening, as it was what got me into the series) Sorry for the incoming wall of text, but it's been giving me THOUGHTS.

So imagine this: whoever Yutu's dad is (I'll pick Azul for this example because I headcannon his English voice somewhere between Matt Mercer's Chrom and Olivert from The Legend of Heroes games) finds out who Yutu really is. You remember that cutscene after Chapter 13 in Awakening, with the Lucina reveal and Chrom has this: "You deserved better than a sword and a world full of troubles. I'm sorry."? Imagine Yutu hearing something like that: the acknowledgement of everything he's gone through, the pain of knowing his dad couldn't do anything and can't do anything more than offer words, and the reality that it might now be really possible to change the future? I imagine Azul breaking down after hearing all that because the last thing he wants to do is hurt Yuu or his son after everything he's been through. Oh goodness, the two of them both need hugs.

Second: did Crowley tip off the Magic Marshalls (because I think he would) and force Yuu to take the blame for his negligence (because he absolutely would)? Now imagine Yutu finding this out and telling his dad. Now his dad knows Crowley is a cheapskate who fobs his work onto everyone else without a second thought. And now he's responsible for having Yuu taken away and starting all this? Knowing the boys and how far they would go for Yuu I'd imagine they don't take that well. In other words, to slightly alter a quote from Regina in Once Upon A Time: "I guess killing a crow suddenly made the top of my to-do list."

Sorry for the wall of text but that's been rattling around in my head for a few days (so make of it all what you will). Hope you're doing well and looking forward to what's next!

-The anon who loves Riddle & Azul

AHHHHH (i feel like I always take forever to answer your asks I am sosososososososososo sorry, this one just drove me crazy in a good good way)

Listen fire emblem awakening was my entire personality for like all of middle school.  The only thing i wanted to talk about was chrobin.  I celebrated Morgan and Lucina's birthdays by drawing them. I think I still have a Cherche x Libra fan art thing I drew on some sheet of paper somewhere in my things because I was SO MAD that no one shipped them and I couldn't find fan art of them anywhere and I just oooooooooooh.  THE WAY CHROM GETS A NEW CRIT LINE ABOUT HOW ANYTHING CAN CHANGE AFTER THE REVEAL???? BECAUSE OF HOW DETERMINED HE IS TO KEEP THAT PROMISE AND GIVE LUCINA A BETTER WORLD???? i just cant be normal about them i am so sorry.  R+A annon I love you, I love you so much for this you made my entire month and possibly my year.  Awakening is also what got me into the series and made me so many friends I just love her so much.  She's an icon and I hope she gets remastered with Sumia either deleted or with a fucking personality.

I should probably sit down and actually write a timeline for myself of events, but since I am free to lean in to the fire emblem pacing, I want to say that monsters from Yutu's timeline start showing up (similar to how the Risen do in Awakening) in the past and stirring up trouble, which leads to an event where Yutu panics and forgets himself in his desperation to protect his dad.  The main way the future kids always proved themselves was by showing their mother's wedding ring, but Yutu doesn't have that so really it's just up to his dad to see someone who looks like him and Yuu blended together, supposedly from Yuu's world using magic and above all else crying out and driving up his own blot levels to protect him calling him dad. For Azul! Yutu it's especially painful, he feels like he already knows what his dad is going to say. That he's disappointed in him. That he has no idea how they could possibly be related. That he hopes in this future he turns out to be different. But that's not what happens.

Before Azul overblotted he was quiet. There's a similar quiet over him now, a similar look of tense surprise, but Yutu- no- his child doesn't know that. His child is looking at him in fear, in worry for his reaction or his safety he doesn't know but he knows the way those tears start to form. Azul knows the quiver of the lip and the shriek, of all the things he could have passed on to such a treasure.

"You deserved better from me." Because it's true. He might think of himself as a work in progress but he still thinks he has quality; he would have done research, read every book he could get his hands on, taken classes, anything he would need to do to be a good father, a worthy partner. Anything. "You deserved to have the world within your grasp, not whatever shadow of a future and a father I left you with. I am so sorry." He does not expect Yutu to grab him and hold him like he's still somehow worthy of his love, but Azul can't fight the urge to grab back, to stroke his son's hair and let the tears fall on his suit without any care at all. I'm here. It's ok, daddy's here, daddy's got you, he won't let anything happen to you.

As for your second question, I did not really write Crowley like that no. It was more like he was the first person mysteriously arrested after the Magical Marshall's decided to finally do their job. I was writing it like they wanted to ship Yuu away to cover up for their own incompetence in preventing seven overblots instead of properly investigating what might have caused that. He's not completely innocent though, so yes. The boys do not take it well at all. And please do not apologize for sending in your thoughts, I am so so slow but I love hearing from you.

#<3 asks #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #future kid au #azul ashengrotto x yuu #azul ashengrotto x reader #riddle and azul anon

[fatuismooches]

Imagine Mr. Rich pants /jokingly, probably/ gifting a nuzzle to the reader after seeing bite marks left by Dottore and other segments? lol,

very shiny and elegantly packaged, and a very expensive, good looking nuzzle! nicely decorated and all, "I thought it would suit you ^^" he says while smiling at Dottore, knowing full well how much it angers him. (btw I can't stop imagining fragile!reader everytime I read sth about Dottore now. Thanks to you >:( ( luv u <3)

anyway *disappears*

GUYS?? GUYS???? JAW DROPPED TO THE FLOOR HELP ME. IM GIGGLING. Yea, Dottore and the segments do not try to be discreet at all when they bite you. Neck. Shoulders. Ears. Everything is on the table. You even don't bother wearing turtlenecks anymore. Although it is a bit embarrassing to walk around with bite marks, literally everyone just acts like they aren't there, because if they comment on it they're 💀 Everyone except... Pantalone of course. The nosy likes to stir up trouble and rile Dottore guy! "Oh, it seems like more have been added to the collection since the last time I saw you, [Name], or do my eyes deceive me? Ah, I'm correct? You poor thing, you ought to teach the Doctor a lesson or two, hmm?" <- (All said in front of Dottore himself) You just smile and laugh awkwardly to try and reduce the tension. Until he... decides to take matters into his own hands and help you... with a muzzle, that he places very calmly into your hands right in front of Dottore with a smile. "Wouldn't this go quite nice on your husband, [Name]? And it will certainly help with that little problem of his. And do let me know if you need more for the segments. I would be happy to provide." <- (All said casually as if you two aren't stunned into silence. If only Dottore didn't need him for funding...)

(Love you too anon <3 Hehe the fragile reader brainrot is spreading, no regrets >:))

#smooches talks #dottore love notes <3 #this will be bouncing around my silly brain for a long time thx anon #im sorry i would literally be laughing so hard while dottore would be pissed at both of us 😭

[sitp-recs]

Hello! Not sure if you'll respond but I thought I'd ask about it anyway.

Would you happen to know of any fics with a very complex characterization of Draco and Harry with a bit of gut wrenching situations? Preferably older D&H after the war. I'm even open to tragedy, even cheating(?) and just something that is out of the ordinary. I know I'm shit at explaining this but, I'm just like, craving a fic that has adult problems, where one/both of them are at a moment of life where things are complex. Maybe H left D a while ago and married someone else, and then after a few years he sees him again and is just lost in a haze of "what if I hadn’t?" or "what to do with myself now?" because getting back with him isn’t easy? I'm sorry for this weird messy ask but you are the first person who came to my mind who I thought could help me out? Sorry for rambling so much! It's definitely alright if you can't find anything like this of course! Have a great day!

What an interesting ask, anon! I’m a bit picky with gut-wrenching themes but I do love myself a thought-provoking, mature fic. It’s about the implications and complications amirite 🤌🏼 this list is a personal take so I’m not sure it is what you’re looking for, but here are some fics that came to mind when I read your ask. Pls mind the tags before jumping in. I’d be very curious to see what my followers rec too!

Kissed by Pie (M, 12k)

Draco Malfoy was attacked by a rogue Dementor on the night of his Azkaban release. He self-exiled to Muggle London and opened a late-night chocolate shop called Kissed.

Poor Unfortunate Souls by DoubleApple (E, 19k)

Draco is a potioneer. Harry is trying to save his sex-challenged marriage. Everything is a mess, but at least there's an octopus in the lobby.

Unfinished Business by cupiscent (E, 20k)

Ten years after the War ends, Harry and Draco still haven't got their act together. But maybe it's not too late.

Stain of Silence by brummell (E, 28k)

After the war, Draco serves out his sentence in Harry Potter's house.

He Who Must Not Be Normal by lettered (E, 41k)

Potter has fame and fortune and posh clothes and all he wants is a simple life. Draco has a flat and a cat and a steady job and all he wants is a complicated life. Which makes you think this story has something exciting like body-swapping, but it doesn’t.

On One's Knees by pir8fancier (E, 34k)

The war is over and to the victors go the spoils. If you are triggered by infidelity, this is not the fic for you.

REVOLVEVLOVER by firethesound, zeitgeistic (E, 46k)

The work Harry does is justifiable. It’s justice. He works for his country, and his country is a republic—the magical side, anyway. It’s not laudable work, it’s not work he’s proud of, but it’s necessary work. Harry has always taken the necessary jobs that no one else has the stomach for. It’s just that he’s never deciphered a kill sheet and seen Draco Malfoy’s name on it.

Nightingale by michi_thekiller (NC-17, 60k)

God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages. -Jacques Deval

Super Rich Kids by trishjames (E, 81k)

Draco Malfoy has become disillusioned by the glitz and glamour of the scandalous lives of the Post-Second Wizarding War Pureblood Elite. Enter: one existential crisis, one group of thieving cynical friends, and several terrible, terrible decisions.

Merlin Works in Mysterious Ways by lordhellebore (M, 82k)

When Harry is forced to form a Blood Bond with Draco Malfoy under threat of death, he thinks his future will consist of a cold home and sexual frustration. But when a group of left-over Death Eaters decides to stir trouble, their lives change completely – and it takes them both some years to figure out whether it’s for better or for worse.

Danse Russe by Frayach (E, 140k)

True Love. Soul Mates. They're just words until put to the test. Harry and Draco have a bond that was forged in the hell of the post-war years and pulled them both back from an abyss of nihilism and self-destruction. Nothing can break it, or so they believed. But True Love can demand sacrifices too great to bear and deeds too terrible to justify.

Plus 2 fics I haven’t read but can vouch for the authors as I’m very familiar with their work:

Unhook the Stars by jad (E, 70k)

Seventy-thousand words of pornographic discourse between two boys-turned-men that still haven't learned how to communicate like normal people – with words.

Freedom to be by Quicksilvermaid (E, 170k)

Harry Potter is the Boy Who Lived. 12 years after the war, he's become the Boy Who Lived For Everyone Else. He has the perfect wife. The perfect house. The perfect job. The perfect friends. Only nothing feels perfect.

#asks #anon #Drarry reclist #complex stories

[jotun-design-party]

on fandom orientalism, ft. a quick visual example:

the example on the right is something i drew solely using references of the top results i saw on pinterest upon searching "jotun loki." please don’t roast my inconsistent handwriting

south asian cultures are often jumbled together for white artists of all kinds (authors, artists, movie directors) to create a sense of mystery and make things look "more foreign."

note: this doesn't touch on the antiblack racism in canon jötun designs; this post is primarily about fandom-sourced fetishization. i heavily encourage people to reblog and add onto this post anything i may have missed or added nuance

cut: links on orientalism, in-media examples, how this manifests in fandom-made content

i'd like to start off by saying that this post is a white person telling other white people how to spot orientalism in relation to fiction. i am by no means an expert on any of this, but my goal here is to start creating a less ignorant space that doesn't push people out of fandom.

i'm just trying to stir up more conversations about this and get other white people to think more critically about how they engage with the content they consume. nerd shit should never come with a sacrifice and it's extremely upsetting to see people of color consistently forced out of fandom communities, especially when modern superhero comics began as a way for jewish people to have a voice.

if this post upsets you, i don't want to hear it. don't tell me, "it's not that deep," or, "keep politics out of comics." it is that deep, and superhero comics have always been political. if you have the urge to leave a comment or send an anon about how you don't think it's a big deal, feel free to block me instead, because i don't care and you'll just get blocked anyway 👍

with that out of the way,

Q:

A:

there are countless ways to design a character in a way that makes it clear that they are an alien, or to make them sexy, and there is no excuse to perpetuate stereotype that put real-life people in danger to do so.

"Orientalist paintings and other forms of material culture... depict an 'exotic' and therefore racialized, feminized, and often sexualized culture from a distant land." [¹]

there are so many examples of this in loki fic and art. it's extremely common to see loki depicted as a feminine object of desire. they may have longer hair. clothing that serves more as an accessory than an outfit, that isn't suited to protect them from either the harsh cold of jötunheim or the sunburns one might get when surrounded by reflections of the sun off the snow. draped in jewelry, and in a compromising position.

i'm sure you can imagine how this can get especially out of hand in relation to thorki. i would speak more on thor's presence as both the white aesir prince or the strong barbaric jötun, but as i'm not comfortable consuming thorki content, i don't have enough context to speak on the stereotypes used outside of the art pieces i've seen while searching for jötun loki fanart.

i am, however, confident in saying that orientalism often serves as a device for fan creators to show a contrast between Asgard's white-viking-british-accent-magic-science-elegance. jötunheim, in the comics, is often portrayed as a less intelligent, cutthroat, barbaric, and bloodthirsty culture.

"There was always something unknown and uniquely different about Orients which reinforced the distinction between the European 'us' and Asian 'them.'" [²]

the green link in particular comes with a helpful tool for anyone who might be inexperienced in spotting racist themes in media. if you have trouble being confident that the media in question is orientalism, this link comes with a checklist scale to score how likely it is to be an offensive depiction.

an example that most of you will be familiar with is Disney's Aladdin (1992). the green link goes much more in-depth about the intricacies of Aladdin's orientalism, and i heavily HEAVILY encourage you to read it, as it will help fully grasp the way fetishization and demonization go hand in hand in orientalism.

here, i'd also like to use it as a comparison to show why this loki stuff is honestly... egregious.

by now, even the visuals here should seem very familiar.

the source goes on to use arranged marriage as an example of a common "trope" in orientalist fiction. as previously stated, i don't consume thorki fiction. however, i am EXTREMELY confident in making the guess that it tends to be a common theme when jötun loki is paired with an aesir thor.

i'd also heavily recommended this article and this wikipedia page, both on the negative and stereotypical portrayals of romani people; loki is a magic user, and i suspect that one of the reasons there is such heavy use of these appropriated, exaggerated, and fetishized themes and visuals is because of the demonization of romani people as tricksters, thieves, and witches.

#orientalism #racism #fandom culture #jotun loki #jötun loki #marvel #jötun loki contest #jotun design party

[reasonsmandy]

You're mine forever

Warren Rojas x Fem!Reader

✧.* requested by anon — hi i love ur writing!!! i was wondering if you could use prompts 6, 7 and 8 in a warren x reader where she’s in the band and eddie’s just told warren he’s leaving, so he’s really upset and needs assurance from the reader that she won’t leave :’) super fluffy !!!!! after i saw warrens face when he was on the bus watching eddie leave i just wanted to give him the biggest hug 😭😭 thank you so much i hope this isn’t too much to ask for! feel free to change bits as well i know it’s a lot lol

✧.* summary — Your boyfriend has always been the happiest person you've ever met, but the band breakup managed to upset him... which broke your heart.

✧.* warnings — Sad Warren :(

✧.* word count — 2.1k

✧.* 🥁 — Warren's masterlist!

✧.* mandy's notes — I understand what you said too much, I felt so so sorry for him in the last episode :((( my boy deserves more.

You felt the tension in the air since leaving Pittsburgh, the fear of change building in your chest with each passing second, you knew something was wrong and what frustrated you was that no one seemed to let that elephant out of the room and be honest with each other.

You saw Camila frustrated since you left your hometown, Karen looked airy and Eddie was devastated since the show. Something was stirring in your family and you could feel that roller coaster of emotions was about to go downhill, and breakdown.

You arrived in Chicago tired but excited for that show that would mark something so great in your careers, and despite the fear of chaos that surrounded your band and your friends every time you looked at your boyfriend a peace embraced your heart.

Warren Rojas was the happiest man you knew, a lover of life, a person who knew how to live and enjoy all the happiness that life has to offer, and that was one of the points that made you fall in love so deeply for him. Since you first met in Pittsburgh, he has charmed you in every way and you felt so lucky to be the woman he called girlfriend, to be by his side.

You knew he was a strong man, and that he would always find something to put a smile on his face and be happy in that moment, this is something that helped you a lot as the band grew. It was very difficult for you at the beginning with all the chauvinism in the industry and the way you were treated like nothing, Rojas was always there by your side to reassure you how amazing you were and how proud he was of you. That smile made your days better and you would always be thankful for him.

You enter the hotel room followed by the drummer, he leaves your bags on the floor and you throw yourself on the bed with a sigh, Warren approaches you with a smile on his face laying on top of you and kissing you gently. You bring your hands to his cheek, kissing him back and then moving your hands to his hair. He smiles after the kiss, opening his eyes to meet your thoughtful features.

"Is everything alright sunshine?" He asks, lying down beside you and lacing his fingers through yours.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking." You move closer to him, taking comfort in your boyfriend's comfortable embrace.

"Wanna talk about it?" He asks, eyes fixed on the ceiling while he feels you close.

"Don't worry, pretty boy, it's nothing." You lie, smiling at him. You didn't want to make him worried. "I'm just feeling something weird, you know? Out of place..."

Warren smiles and runs his hand through your hair, trying to soothe your troubled thoughts. "Hey, I know something's been off lately with the band, but we'll figure it out," he says reassuringly.

You give him a small smile, grateful for his comforting words, but deep down, you know that this time it's different. You can't shake off the feeling of tension and unease that's been building up since leaving Pittsburgh. You shift closer to Warren, seeking his warmth and comfort.

He notices your apprehension and wraps his arms around you, holding you close. "Is it about Eddie? I know Billy can be a real jerk sometimes, but we've all got each other's back."

You nod, feeling a little calmer with Warren's words, but you can't help but remember how Billy took away Eddie's moment on stage at their hometown show, leaving him feeling used and betrayed. Eddie had always looked up to Billy and admired him, but it was clear that their relationship was toxic and that Eddie was at his edge.

"Yeah, it's also about Eddie," you admit softly. "Billy's been treating him like crap, and it's taking a toll on him, it's not fair to him. And another thing my love, why did Billy have to do this? You know, he didn't need to take his moment like that"

Warren's expression softens as he listens, and he nods thoughtfully. "I know what you mean," he says with a sympathetic smile. "But I also know that we're a family, and families have their ups and downs. Plus, Eddie's always been a little sensitive, you know? He takes things to heart sometimes, especially when it comes to Billy."

"And we should do something about it, shouldn't we?" You ask, feeling a tightness in your chest.

"I'll talk to him, okay?" Warren says between kisses on your head. "Don't worry, sunshine."

...

You've had a long day leading up to the show, and you're feeling frustrated with everything that's been happening. You've been thinking a lot about Camila, you knew your best friend and you knew that something's off with her. So, you decide to go to Billy's room to look for her, Camila always held a lot to herself and as her best friend you had to reassure her that you're always there for her.

As you stop in front of the door and prepare to knock, you hear voices coming from inside. You don't take long to recognize them, It's Eddie and Billy, and they're arguing. Your heart sinks as you listen to their heated conversation, and then you hear Eddie say those fateful words, "I figured I should handle this like a man. I'm quitting the band."

You freeze, unable to move or even breathe. Your mind races as you try to process what you just heard. Eddie, quitting the band? It's unthinkable! You know how much Warren cared about having his best friend by his side accomplishing this dream, and you can't bear the thought of how devastated he would be if Eddie were to quit. You knew he was strong, but that was going to knock him out a lot, and just thinking about it made your heart sink.

You decide to go back to your room, calling Camila as soon as you got there, she didn't answer at all which worried you a lot, frustration began to consume you as the hours went by. Soundcheck time got closer and closer and you felt everything falling apart as you entered the stadium by your boyfriend's side. This would be an endgame.

Graham and Karen never looked at each other which was rare, Eddie had a black eye that seemed to get bigger with every song they rehearsed and no Billy and Daisy showed up.

You drop your bass, taking a seat next to Warren's drums he winks at you and you take this opportunity to approach him. "Baby, go talk to him."

Rojas nods, heading towards the blonde. You knew your boyfriend and you knew that what he said was going to be in a direct and calm way, but you were afraid of how Roundtree would respond to that.

You decide to leave them alone, walking towards Karen who looked upset as she watched the piano. She didn't seem to want much conversation so you just sat next to her and hugged her, after a while keeping the blonde company, you see your boyfriend leaving and you see something unusual in his face, he was pissed.

You leave a kiss on Karen's forehead and go towards him, despite calling him several times he wouldn't turn to you.

"Hey pretty boy, how was it?" You ask when you reach him, trying to catch a breath.

"He's an asshole." Warren says running his hands through his hair, trying to calm down."I can't understand how he can't see what we're living here sunshine."

You move closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. "Tell me my love, what did he tell you?"

"He says that he's looking more out of life than me." Rojas leans his forehead against yours, and you start stroking the locks of his hair. "Can you believe that my sun? The guy is a fucking rockstar and it isn't enough for him."

"Oh my love, I understand your frustration." You say kissing his cheek, making him smile. "But sometimes people aren't as wonderful as you are and they can't see the beauty in life."

"You think I'm wonderful, uh?" Warren says between kisses on your lips, you just nod smiling. "You are my salvation, my sunshine."

...

As you step onto the stage, you feel a mix of emotions. On one hand, you're excited to perform in front of a crowd again, but on the other, you can't shake off the feeling that this might be the last time you'll do it with this band. You glance over at Eddie and Warren, who are setting up their instruments, and you can see the same sentiment in their eyes.

Once the show starts, you all play as if it's just another gig, but the atmosphere in the room is heavy. The audience is cheering and singing along to every song, but you can sense that they too feel the weight of this being the end. You play through the set, and even though you know the songs by heart, tonight they feel different. They feel like a goodbye letter to the fans who have supported you all this time. The end of a cycle, the last day together doing what they've always dreamed of since they were little in Pittsburgh.

When you get to "Honeycomb," you see Billy's face change. He abruptly stops playing and runs off the stage, leaving you and the others to finish the song without him. You know where he's gone - he's chasing after Camila, you can't help but cry you were losing your family. You also knew that this is his way of saying that he's done, that he's leaving the band.

You finish the show, but it feels bittersweet. The applause is loud, and people are asking for an encore, but you know it's not going to happen. You look over at Eddie, and their faces mirror your own. The three of you exchange a sad nod, and you all walk offstage, knowing that this is the last time you'll be performing together.

…

The next morning, the band gathered to leave for their next destination, but Daisy was nowhere to be found. Panic started to set in as time ticked by and they still couldn't locate her. Then, to make matters worse, Billy was also missing. You felt a sinking feeling in your chest as you watched the minutes turn into hours without any sign of either of them.

Warren tried to comfort you by squeezing your hand, but you could see the worry etched on his face. What had happened to Daisy and Billy? Why did they disappear like this?

But then, as if to add insult to injury, Eddie suddenly appears with his bags, getting into a taxi without so much as a word to anyone. You feel Warren's grip on your hand loosen, and when you turn to look at him, his eyes are filled with hurt, betrayal and tears. This is the last straw, and it's clear that the bond between him and Eddie has been irreparably broken.

The tour is canceled, and you both return to your home in LA in silence. Nothing you do or say can cheer Warren up, and it breaks your heart to see him like this. He spends the entire journey lost in thought, and you know that this experience has changed him.

When the moonlight completely fills the sky you were in the kitchen while Rojas was still silent on your couch, your chest tightens when you see the sad expression on your beloved's face. You drop everything you were doing in the kitchen and approach him and kneel down in front of him.

"Hey, pretty boy talk to me." You say, stroking his knee. "I know you're not okay, you don't have to hide it from me."

"It's just that... All our friends are splitting up." Rojas's choked voice made your heart break. "I'd die if that were us sunshine, I can't afford to lose you."

"Oh, my love." You move to sit on the sofa, pushing his curls away from his face to watch his eyes closely. "I don't know why you care if I stay or leave if you know I'll always be here by your side."

Warren brings his hands to your waist, pulling you closer to him. He doesn't say anything, he just watches you and you can see the fear in his eyes.

"I'm your wife Warren, I hope you know I won't give up on you." You say to then kiss him calmly, tenderly and conveying all the love you felt for him, he holds you closer feeling safe in you.

"Wife, uh?" He whispers after the kiss, you pat his chest hiding your face in the crook of his neck in embarrassment. "Hey, don't hide sunshine." He pulls your face away from his chest to look into your eyes.

"I said too much, forget what I it." You say, shaking your head.

Warren pulls back slightly, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "Well, if you've already called yourself my wife, I guess I have no choice but to make it official," he says, his eyes twinkling.

You chuckle at his sudden change in tone. "Oh really? And how do you plan to do that?" you ask, pretending to be skeptical.

Warren looks around the room, searching for inspiration. Suddenly, his eyes land on a half-eaten slice of pizza on the coffee table.

"I know!" he exclaims, grabbing the pizza and holding it up. "Will you do me the honor of sharing this slice of pizza with me... as my wife?"

You can't help but burst out laughing at his ridiculous proposal, but then you realize he's serious. His eyes meet yours and you can see the love and sincerity in them.

"Yes, Warren. I will share this pizza with you... and be your wife," you say with a smile.

Warren grins back at you, feeling overjoyed. "Then it's settled. You're mine forever," he says, pulling you close for another kiss.

...

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[messedupfan]

Bound To Fall | Leigh Shaw x Reader (Request)

Summary: Based on this anonymous request. Things are rocky between Y/n and Leigh after she starts a new job. Can things be mended before it's too late?

Warnings: angst, some smut (18+), emotional damage. (I will not be covering therapy bills and neither will B. So read at your discretion)

Red text is written by @abimess

A/N: Surprise!! It's a collab!! Special thank you to B for helping me with this story, it wouldn't be as strong as it is without you! Definitely wouldn't have a title either! It took me a few drafts to finally come up with something for this but I'm glad I did. I apologize for the wait, anon! Also Matt isn't a teacher in this. He does something in writing. Fasten your seatbelts she's, they's, and gay's, it's going to be a bumpy ride. I hope you all enjoy it! And requests are still open.

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist | Requests

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You stir the spoon around in the tea you made. You intended to drink it but have been too upset to even take a sip. It was closing in on midnight and she still wasn’t home. She hasn’t called or texted once since she left. She hasn’t answered or responded to your messages. She promised that she wouldn’t be out too late but it’s well past the curfew the two of you had agreed on. Briana comes bounding down the stairs again. 

“Where’s mommy?” She pouts with tears at the brim of her dark hazel eyes. “I can’t sleep without my goodnight kiss from mommy.”

You sigh as you turn to look at your child. “I gave you extra kisses. Those didn’t work?”

She shakes her little head, “I need mommy’s kisses too.” 

You stand from your stool and walk over to get her back to her bed. She is resistant at first but you promise that her mom will be back soon. Briana agrees to go to bed and wait a little bit longer. After tucking her in, you return to the barstool in the kitchen and continue to wait by your cell. Hoping that the call you receive isn’t a hospital informing you that your wife is gone. 

It’s another hour before she is being led into the house by her co-worker. She is giggling and when she sees you, her eyes widen. “Oh my goodness! You stayed up? You didn’t have to stay up!” Leigh walks out of the guy’s arms and stumbles over to you. “Don’t I just have the best spouse ever?” She has her arms around you and she kisses your cheek. You clench your jaw to hold back the anger that is poisoning your body. 

“You didn’t tell me that Matt was going to be there,” you say with a tight expression, trying to keep your cool.

“We ran into each other at the club–” 

“I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to my wife,” you snap at him.

Matt holds his hands up in surrender. Leigh giggles, “Aw don’t be a grumpy pants. The overprotective jealousy thing was hot in college but now it’s not necessary.” She begins to kiss your face excessively but you were too upset to let her have any effect on you. “Uh-oh, looks like I’m going to be in trouble.” She mutters while moving her face away. “Thank you for taking care of me, Matt. You can go now,” she says, waving him goodbye. 

“Are you sure that you’ll be okay?” His implication upsets you even further. 

Who was he to think that you would harm your wife? “She’s home, of course she’s okay.” You respond in a short tone. 

“Respectfully, I would prefer to hear that from her,” lucky for him, Briana comes running down the stairs for her mom. 

Leigh smiles at her coworker as she confirms that she’ll be fine and the man finally leaves. You don’t miss the longing look he gives her just before he exits. It makes your blood boil. He didn’t want her when he had her and now he wants to complicate the life the two of you have? “Bri! Why are you up past your bedtime, sweetheart?” She does her best to speak clearly to the little girl who was clinging to her leg but still has a little slur in her speech. 

She giggles and beams up at Leigh, “You sound funny, mommy.” 

“Mommy is just tired, like I know you are! Come on. Let’s get you to bed, baby girl. You go first, I’ll be right behind you,” she sends the girl off and she shakes her head at you. “She’s not going to want to get up for daycare tomorrow. You were supposed to put her to bed on time.” 

You begin to laugh sarcastically at the fact that she is upset with you when you were the one that was home and she wasn’t and she hasn’t been for months. “You so do not want to go there with me right now,” you say in response to her asking what was funny. “I’ll help you up the stairs and into bed but I’m sleeping in the guest room again tonight.” 

Leigh frowns but doesn’t question it. She does the night routine that Briana is familiar with and the little girl is finally able to sleep. A soft smile makes a quick appearance on your grumpy features when you admire your sleeping child. It disappears when Leigh reaches out to hold your hand. You pull away and gesture for her to walk ahead of you, keeping your distance from her. Only to ensure that she gets to the room safely under her condition. You’ve heard one too many horror stories of someone dying from a slip while drunk. You might be upset with her, but you still care about her wellbeing. 

Stopping at the door, Leigh turns around with tears in her eyes. “I miss you.” 

“I’m right here,” you reply. 

She shakes her head, “No, you’re not.” 

“Goodnight, Leigh,” you walk away from her to go to your room. It was technically the guest room, but it was slowly becoming your room. Another thing you hated.

The next few days are tense, but the two of you put up a happy front for your daughter. She didn’t need to know how unhappy her parents were and she was still too young to pick up on it. Unfortunately, you and Leigh are left with a mountain of unresolved issues which only continues to grow. That is, until you come home from work one day to find Leigh sitting in the living room waiting for you. 

“Bri is with my mom for the night,” she states before you can rush upstairs to avoid her. 

You sigh and set your messenger bag on the hook by the garage door. “You know that I prefer to watch her when you go out.” 

“I’m not going out,” she says. 

Your face contorts in confusion, “Then why isn’t she home? We had plans to do a few of those big puzzles and watch one of the popular animated movies that got added to streaming.” 

“We need to talk and we can’t do that while she’s home, so I had my mom take her.” Leigh explains. 

You slump down in a seat across from her. “Maybe not talking is the only thing saving this marriage,” you say bitterly. 

Leigh sets her jaw to hide how sharp your words are. “What happened to us?” She whispers. She hasn’t been able to figure it out. One minute, she’s in the best marriage she could ever dream of. Her family was happy. She was happy. You were happy. Then it was as if overnight all of that changed. You grew distant and cold, treating her the way you would treat the rest of the world. She didn’t understand it and she didn’t like it. “Is there someone else?” 

The question makes you look at her. “I don’t know. Is there?”

Leigh’s eyebrows knit together. Why would you accuse her? She wasn’t the one who changed. Unless she was the one. No. Her confusion wasn’t noticeable. Was it? What did you know? How much did you know? Is that why you changed? “No, there is only you. There has only ever been you.” She watches you scoff with disbelief and she can’t believe the reaction. You have always trusted her when she told you those words. You never doubted her or her faithfulness to you. “What did I do to make you feel this way? How can I fix it? How can I fix us?” 

You stand up from your seat, prepared to find any excuse to walk out before you say something you might regret. But a bitterness inside you decides that she needs to hear whatever it is that you have to say. Even if it’s something that could damage this family beyond repair. “You know, when you started working late nights I tried to tell myself that you were just doing your job. I foolishly believed that I had nothing to worry about. That you loved me and our family and you would never do anything to jeopardize it.” 

“I wouldn’t! I haven’t!” Leigh pleads with you. 

You ignore her and continue on. “So imagine my surprise when I find out that the person that was keeping you at the office late was none other than your ex-boyfriend. At an office party nonetheless!” 

“I love you. I didn’t think it would be a big deal,” she swears.

You continue to ignore her. “But I chose to not let the humiliation of the people around your office being so surprised you were married to me and not to him get to me. No, I felt safe and secure in our relationship. Leigh, my best friend, mother of our child, my loving and devoted wife would never cheat on me.” She bites her tongue, wanting to defend herself but knowing there was no use. You have the floor now and you won’t let her take it. “I continue on, like an idiot, trusting that the reason my wife is at work late is because she has so much important stuff to do that she can’t make it home in time for family dinner. She at least makes it in time to tuck our daughter into bed and she shares a bed with me at night. That’s what matters right? That you came home to me and weren’t sleeping in someone else's bed.” 

Leigh knows where this is headed and she wants to tell you that you were ridiculous in your assumption. That nothing happened at all the night she claimed to have spent the night at the office. But she vowed to never lie to you, she just hasn’t figured out how to tell you. 

“Did you know that I stopped by that night to bring you food?” 

The reveal makes her heart drop. “You what?” She whispers. 

“We had made plans that night. You left a message, telling me that you weren’t going to make it home for the date we had scheduled. That you were looking forward to it and were bummed because all you had eaten that day was potato chips from the vending machine,” you recall the voicemail that you’ve played over and over. Trying to figure out where she lied to you, because it all seemed to be the truth but what you found that night led you to question everything. “I felt bad, so I got the babysitter for Bri anyway and I ordered some food from your favorite restaurant and I came to your office to drop it off. Maybe even try to convince you to have a break with me. So we could reconnect and save this marriage!” Your voice rises in the last sentence as the anger from that night returns and Leigh flinches. You weren’t the type to ever raise your voice often, especially not to her. 

“Why didn’t you?” She asks. If you had walked in, she wouldn’t have been carrying this guilt with her for what happened that night. You could have stopped it. Why didn’t you stop it?

You scoff at her question. “I didn’t want to interrupt,” you say bitterly.

“What did you see?” 

“I heard you laughing when I was walking through to find your office. I thought maybe you were on a break watching some dumb video on the internet. Then I heard his voice. I wanted to believe there were other people working late with the two of you but no. It was just you and him.” You give her a moment to say anything, maybe tell you that at some point there were others, but she lets you continue. “When I finally did see you, you looked cozy on the couch in his office. You looked just like you did in college. You had that same dopey look, like you could never love anyone the way you did him. I know it well, you used to look at me like that… before he came back into our lives.” 

Leigh shakes her head, there was no way she was giving him that look. Or was she? That’s what he claimed when she tried to tell him it should have never happened. He said he only crossed that line because of the way she looked at him. Maybe she had to accept that she did. It wasn’t intentional but it happened. You wouldn’t say it if it didn’t. How can she tell you that she didn’t mean it? That would put into question if she means it when she looks at you that way. How was she supposed to convince you that she does? 

“I watched and I waited for you to act the way a married person does. Stop him from getting closer. Keep your distance. Keep things friendly, or strictly business. But then you asked him why he was sitting so far away. And to tell you more about his semester abroad. The one that resulted in the end of your relationship. You asked him if he ever regretted losing you–” 

“I wasn’t in my right mind, we were celebrating. Did you miss the bottle of wine or did you just not have enough of a view?” She snaps at you. She wants to continue to deny that she invited it. That as a married woman, she wanted someone else.

“That’s no excuse, Leigh! Do you know what I do with the people that hit on me when I’m drinking?” She stumbles on coming up with an answer but you interrupt her. “Nothing! I go looking for you!” 

“I might have had some unresolved issues. It’s complicated.” Stressed out, she moves her hands through her long hair. 

You cross your arms over your chest and shrug, “Uncomplicate it for me, Leigh. If not for me then for our daughter. She deserves that much.” 

Leigh presses her lips together and bounces her leg as she tries to make sense of something in minutes that she hasn’t in months. “Not everyone can be so fucking perfect all of the damn time. Okay? Some of us have flaws!”

You can’t believe that is her defense for her actions. You sit one arm on the other, with one laying across your chest and use your index finger and thumb to rub your eyebrows. “Did you know that I would have forgiven you, had you told me about the kiss that night?” Her eyes dart to your direction but it's so tough to look at you when you won’t look at her. “I might’ve even done so without the details. But,” you shrug and scratch your nose. “You didn’t tell me. Every day that you didn’t tell me, it just made it harder to find a reason to forgive you. It made it harder to believe that you weren’t cheating on me the whole time.” 

Leigh drops her head shamefully but she doesn’t want this to be her fault. You were there, you should’ve caught her or had this conversation with her sooner. Why didn’t you? Were you only trying to make her look bad? Did you hate her? Were you trying to destroy this marriage?

“Then the big project was done and I thought I could finally have my wife back. I had plans to try and reconnect, even some to talk about what I saw. I was going to be calm and understanding. But then you started to avoid me. Every attempt I made, you just pulled away further. I wanted to believe… I still want to believe that you were doing what you said you were doing. Then the other night, you come home well past Bri’s curfew, drunk, and hanging off of him. What am I supposed to think? Am I being an idiot? Am I the asshole here, not seeing something? Am I trapping you in a marriage that you don’t want to be in? Do I not love you enough? Do you not love me at all anymore?” 

“No, that’s not why I–” she stops herself. Any explanation would only hurt you further but there is no way to heal you without explaining it. “When I started working there, I didn’t know that being around him would bring back so many old feelings. I thought they had died with our relationship. It was confusing. I knew that I loved you, I still do. But there was a time when I thought I might still love him. I needed to know, and I didn’t know how else to figure that out. So, yeah, I had a few drinks with him. I talked about things I otherwise wouldn’t have and when he kissed me, I let him. But it didn’t go beyond that. I felt so stupid and ashamed and I betrayed you. There isn’t a doubt or an excuse for it. It happened and I am sorry. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could take all of it back.” 

Feeling as though you have been hit by a freight train, you fall back into your seat. The two of you sit in silence for a long period of time. Processing and not knowing what to say. You can't figure out where you went wrong that she felt the need to be with someone else. That she felt things towards someone who hurt her time and time again. That’s when you realized you needed to cut yourself out of the equation. It wasn’t about you. It was about her. But why? Why would she do this to herself? Why would she risk losing what she had? Was she not happy with it anymore? Was there anything you could do or was she on a self-destructive path? How could you help her? Could you even help her?

Meanwhile, Leigh is sitting there waiting for you to blow up. She also can't understand or let go of the fact that you let it happen. That you let her get away with it for so long. That you didn't catch her. That you didn't talk about it until now. When it might be too late. “If you already knew, why didn’t you say anything?” She finally asks. 

You scoff, “I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt. I wanted you to come to me. I thought I was very clear that you could come to me about anything and everything. But maybe I should’ve just caught you in the act or something. I don't know.” You look at your hands as you play with your wedding ring. You took it off to remember the day she put it on you. To remember that happiness. But all you can think about is maybe she didn't share in that happiness. 

“Why didn't you?” She observes you carefully as you frown at the ring that once made you light up a room with a grand smile. 

“Because, Leigh, you were. You were supposed to think about me and our daughter, our family, and what you were risking. What you might lose. Over a silly kiss.” You rub your hand over your eyes with your elbow resting on the arm of the chair. It was the first piece of furniture that you bought for the house. She had pointed it out while the two of you were window shopping one time. When the two of you bought the house, she hadn’t known that the deal had been finalized until you brought her back and the chair was sitting in the middle of the living room with a big red bow and a sign that welcomed her home.“You were supposed to stop yourself. Come home, and talk about it. I told you about the time an intern kissed me at work! The day it happened.” 

“Yeah, but you have no history with that person. You didn’t have to worry about my reaction the way I did with you.”

“What did you think my reaction would be?” 

“I,” she isn’t really sure. She had stressed over many scenarios, but she couldn’t think of a single one to tell you. “I don’t know.” She drops her face in her hands and grips her hair. “I was afraid and confused, everything was confusing.” 

You sigh, you didn’t like seeing your wife in pain. But you can’t sit next to her. You can’t comfort her right now, because then nothing will get resolved. She could kiss you and you could lose yourself in her and then the two of you will think that everything is okay until everything builds and it isn’t anymore. It needed to be figured out today. You couldn’t continue to live the way you have the past few months. “What is it now?” You ask, trying to be the understanding person that you wanted to be for her. There were very few people in this world that you had this kind of patience for and she knows that, she appreciates that you haven’t completely given up on her.  

“It’s… well, it’s less confusing. I know what I want, who I want,” she looks at you when she clarifies. “I know what I did was foolish and selfish and you deserve so much better than that.” Leigh grabs a tissue to blow her nose. “I’m still scared to death that I fucked everything up. I haven’t given you any reason to trust me anymore. I can swear to you that those nights I wasn’t here, I was with Jules or with friends. Hiding from you so that I didn’t have to tell you what I did. I can promise that the other night, Matt was just there. He wasn’t invited, I tried to avoid him but seeing him there… The guilt was awful. I just kept drinking. I don’t think I’ve had that much to drink in years. My friends tried to cut me off early and Drew was supposed to take me home but Matt offered. He doesn’t know, no one does, so he let him take me home. I couldn’t tell him why it was a bad idea.” She pauses, playing with the tissue. “I wouldn’t blame you if you don’t believe me.” 

“Good,” you start, “because I don’t.” Leigh nods and wipes some of her tears. She was at a loss of what to do now. In all of the scenarios in her head, she never came up with this one. As for you, all you want to do is cry and scream and throw things but you don’t. You keep yourself cemented to the chair. Not even trusting yourself to pace around the living room. Afraid you’ll lash out on the innocent objects around you. Setting your ring on the coffee table in front of you, you rub your palms together. “Was it worth it?” 

“Of course not,” the lack of hesitation gives you some relief but not enough. “What can I do to fix this?” The desperation in her voice tugs at your heart and part of you wants to forgive her and let it go. But what if that leads her to do it again? What if forgiving her isn’t enough for you? What if you can’t let it go? 

You shrug, “I don’t know. I…” you sigh, not having a solution. “I wish things could go back to what it was but we can’t, ever. Before is gone now. What comes after this… I don’t know if we’re going to make it.”

Leigh gets upset by this. “So that’s it? One meaningless kiss and you’re ready to throw all of this away? You’re just done! You’re just giving up?” Now her voice is raised. 

“That’s not what I said!” 

“Isn’t it thought?”

“Look, it wasn’t just a meaningless kiss and you know it! I almost lost you to him once! And the entire time the two of you were together I had to stand by while he treated you like crap and you allowed it!” She doesn’t try to cut you off when you mention the relationship she had with Matt back in college. You were right. It was awful, she never felt as low and insecure as she did when she was dating him. “Damnit, Leigh! I thought what we had was special! To know that a part of you still wanted him! After how he hurt you! Clearly there’s more going on that you need to figure out and I can’t help you with it!” 

Leigh nods, “You’re right, I need to work a few things out. I’ve been selfish these last few months and I don’t know. I just. Fuck.” She gets up from her place on the sofa. “I’m just like my father.” She walks away because she is beginning to feel like the walls are closing in on her. She steps out onto the back porch to get some fresh air. You let her be on her own, give her some space. What she did to you wasn’t nearly as bad as what her father had done to her mother. Or was it? 

His affair was more physical, something that didn’t last once he was caught. But this was deeper. This was emotional. This was with an ex of hers. But she’s right, it was one kiss. It could have been worse. She could have been sleeping with him. Part of you still thinks she did but you wanted to hold onto what she said. That she was with anybody but him. But then, just the fact that she compared herself to her father raised some flags. You get up and walk over to the door that led to the backyard and lean on the frame. She was holding onto the banister and looking out to the garden the two of you made together. It was full of dead plants having been ignored by the both of you. Was that what this marriage was now? 

“Are you,” you stop, almost not wanting to ask, too afraid of the answer. “Are you like your father?” You get out through a shaky tone. She is quiet and you take that as a bad sign. “Was it more than a kiss? Did you sleep with–”

She spins around with wide eyes, “No! That is not what I meant when I said that!” You ask her to elaborate what she did mean by the statement. “When things got tough for him, instead of seeking help he just blew up his life even more. Instead of tending to the minor, fixable problems he had, he created more problems that he couldn’t come back from. Problems that could have been avoided. That’s what I’m talking about.” She takes a breath, you could almost see her clarity in her expression. 

“If I had just told you what losing my job meant to me. What it felt like only getting one job out of the hundreds I applied to. How I didn’t feel comfortable at first because I���m pretty sure the only reason I got it is because my ex was the person in charge of hiring. That I hated that my only options were this job and going back to work for my mom. That I wasn’t confident in my work anymore because the person reviewing all of it was him. That I haven’t recognized myself in almost a year.” She pauses and takes a small step closer to you. Waiting for you to take a step back. You stay. 

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have been there for you, Leigh,” you say. 

“I wish I knew,” she replies. She doesn’t know why she didn’t, she just knows that she should have.

Not being able to handle the distance from her anymore, you step off from the door frame and hold your arms open for her. Leigh crashes against you almost instantly, letting the sobs rip through her. You hold her close and reassure her that you’re still here for her. No matter what. 

The two of you spend the rest of the evening winding down from the intense conversation. You order food but the both of you don’t have much of an appetite and you end up pushing the food around your plate until Leigh says that she’s tired. You admit that you are drained as well and help put the food away. When the kitchen is clean, there is an awkward tension of not knowing what to do next. 

“Will you sleep with me tonight?” Leigh asks, reaching for your hand. 

You’re hesitant but you let her take your hand. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to have sex right now,” you admit. 

She keeps her eyes to your hand, noticing that you haven’t put your ring back on. “I know that, I meant just sleeping. I’ve been having a hard time sleeping without you. I miss sharing a bed with you.” 

You sigh, figuring there couldn’t be too much harm to share the bed with her for the night. “I suppose that is okay.” Pulling you by your hand, she takes you to the bedroom and gets ready for bed. It was a strange experience for you. Returning to the bedtime routine for the two of you after months. For the first time, you felt like a stranger in your own home. There was an awkwardness that never existed between the two of you before. The first thing that drew you to Leigh was how comfortable she made you. Why was that stripped away? Was it from this one night of confessions? Or was it built from the months of neglecting the relationship? 

When you climb into bed, neither of you knows how to settle in next to each other. You wanted to put a wall of pillows between the two of you and she wanted to be held by you. So that she can’t request anything from you, you turn away from her and tell her goodnight. She says it back, adding that she loves you. You don’t say it back. You did still love her. It just… it hurt now and that was confusing. 

Leigh peacefully falls asleep, but you spend the night tossing and turning. Not sure what to do. She needed to get help but would she get help if you stayed? Did she need an extra push? Or would that only give her more reasons to hide things from you? Maybe you needed a break. Maybe you needed to get away for a bit. She has had plenty of time and space away from you. But she needed help right now. Was it fair to abandon her when she finally opened up to you? The racing thoughts frustrated you. There was no one answer to any of these. None of them seemed simple. 

In the morning, you tell her that she needs to see a therapist and that the two of you should do couples counseling. She agrees. To show that she is serious about mending the things she had cracked, possibly broken, she makes the appointments later that day. The two of you didn’t talk to each other much once Briana was home. Instead, the three of you went out for frozen yogurt, saw a movie and then had dinner. Then came home, did Briana’s bedtime routine, and she asked you to join her in bed again. You do it, because you need to. In order to see if things were getting better on your end. 

Several months later, after many sessions in couples therapy, you wake up in the middle of the night with the fear that you were drowning. Nothing had been resolved because neither of you were truly trying at the sessions. The both of you had said way more that one night than you had in the many expensive hour long therapy sessions. You were beginning to feel like the only way you would know if you still loved Leigh, is if you are without her. 

So, in the middle of the night, you write her a letter explaining why you’re not next to her. You tell her that you needed some space and that you desperately hope this will only bring the two of you closer. But that if it doesn’t work out that way, your hope is that neither of you hate each other if things have to end. You quietly pack a bag, stopping at every small movement she makes. Then you get in your car and drive, uncertain of your destination. You didn’t want to go to a friend's house because then it would broadcast your marital problems. You didn’t want to go to a hotel because that felt like a step towards divorce. Not the direction you wanted to head. So you just drive and think. 

Leigh’s heart drops when she finds a note instead of you. Her heart breaks as she reads it over and over. Why was it that when you thought things were good, she was silently suffering and when she thought things were getting better, you were? What caused this seemingly sudden imbalance and why couldn’t the balance be restored? She isn’t able to dwell on it for long because Briana comes running into the room requesting a fun breakfast. The kind only you can make. She forces back the tears and hides her pain behind a smile as she promises to make something just as special. 

You return home late that night. Surprising Leigh. She was sitting in the living room with a movie on, crying. She wanted to blame the tears on the film but she knew they were from the troubles between the two of you and with herself. You open your mouth to say something but she holds her finger up to her lips before pointing to her lap. Briana was fast asleep. You nod and sneak your way up the stairs, needing to take a shower. 

At one point during your drive, you pulled over to a hiking trail and went to the top to just think. You sat in the sun for hours, a little too close to the edge without realizing. When you decided it was time to stand up, the sand and rocks had gotten soft and crumbled under your feet. You slipped off of the ledge but was lucky enough to grab onto something sturdy enough to pull you up. When you got back up, you didn’t even process the cuts you got, you just stood there and  stared at how far of a drop it was. You could have died and no one would have known what happened. Your wife would have thought you abandoned her. Your daughter would have grown to believe the same. 

It really puts into perspective what your life is and what you want out of your life. It wasn’t this. On the hike down, you got sick and stopped to throw up, close to passing out. You were lucky that some hikers found you and helped you to your car. One drove you to the hospital in your car and the other followed in their car. You were dehydrated, had a concussion, a few bruises and required a few stitches but were otherwise fine. You take your time in the shower and when you get out, Leigh is sitting on the bed. 

“I thought you needed your space,” she starts. 

You play with the waist strap of your robe as you lick your lips, “I did. Then something happened.” 

Leigh looks down at her hands. “Did you,” she pauses to consider her words carefully, “Were you with someone else?” She looks back up at you with tears sitting on the brim of her eyes.

You shake your head, “No, I went on a hike and,” you open your robe slightly to reveal the stitches and scratches on your side. “It got pretty fucking scary.” Leigh jumps from the bed and frets over you, asking what happened and if you’re okay and why you didn’t call. “I’m fine, I’m still a little startled but I’m fine. I’m alive. I’m home. I’m here, with you.” You reach out to hold her face with your fingertips as your palms need to have a new bandage on them. “But it made me realize that neither of us are happy and neither of us are trying to make each other happy. We can’t live our lives like this. We can’t pretend things haven’t changed or that certain things didn’t happen.” She closes her eyes, knowing that you’re right but not wanting to let you go. “We do need space. We need to find ourselves again. We’re lost, the both of us, and it’s killing us. Maybe the time apart will bring us back together. Maybe it won’t. But we can’t keep going the way we are.” 

“What do you want?” She whispers. 

“I’m going to move out,” you state, “but I’m not giving up.” 

“You almost died and you realized that you don’t want to be with me anymore. I don’t think we should drag this out longer than it has to be,” she says more to protect herself from the pain of hearing you end the relationship. She’s not sure she can survive it. 

“That’s not true,” you try to get her to look at you. She doesn’t so you continue anyway. “It made me realize that I miss you too. That you aren’t you and I’m not me. I kept blaming you for not telling me what you were going through but I couldn’t even see that you were drowning. I avoided you as much as you avoided me. I hid behind our daughter. Leigh,” you call her name and use your knuckle to lift her chin up to you. “I don’t want to hate you because we forgot how to communicate with each other.” She meets your eyes and for the first time in almost a year, you don’t look away from her. Leigh’s breath catches at the intensity of your gaze and her eyes flit down to your lips. It’s been so long since she’s had them and she can’t even remember what they felt like against her. She moves closer and you let her. 

Leigh finally presses her lips against yours, gripping your robe as if she can keep you from slipping through her fingers further than you already have. You let her kiss you, but you don’t respond as eagerly. You savor the feel of her soft lips, her taste, the desperate way she pulls you closer while being cautious about your injuries. It tells you that she needs you. That she still loves you. This is the first time that you haven’t wanted to pull away or run from her. This time you ignore all of the reasons not to and you allow for things to go further.

The moment you both fall onto the mattress, her body beneath yours and you fitting into her in the way that used to be so perfect, your first impulse is to run away. But she traps you there with her legs around your waist, her hands still trying to work on your robe. So you stay there, your mouth on hers, wondering if they fit as perfectly as hers did with his, if she slid her tongue against his like she's doing with yours now. You wonder about it until you can’t bear it anymore, then you move your lips down her jaw, ignoring everything in your mind screaming at you to stop, paying mind to that - although smaller, just as eager - part that tells you how much you missed her, how much you want to feel her. 

When Leigh's hands finally undo the knot that kept the garment secure around your body, your own find her pajama shorts, pulling them down so desperately that her breath gets caught in her throat, surprise and excitement overcoming her entire being. Maybe that's all you needed. A moment to reconnect, to be reminded of what it feels like to belong to each other, that you still belong to each other. She has no idea, however, that the reason for your desperation is that you need to feel something immediately before you break down, intoxicating your mind with something other than the voices screaming inside your head. But she lets the lower part of her clothes slide off her legs to the floor anyway, and pushes the robe you wear off your shoulders so that it joins with her garments.

It's easier not to think about things when your fingers slide with ease in between her folds, and much more so when her own works between your legs, Leigh's teeth trapping your lower lip when the sounds she loves so much start to leave your mouth unintentionally. The warmth in the pit of your stomach spreads throughout your entire body, the nails of her free hand scratching your back and her moans helping just as much as the sensation to keep the doubts at bay. But the moment your high takes over you, you close your eyes, and the scene of that night in the office behind your closed eyelids is almost as vivid as witnessing it with your bare eyes.

Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe you shouldn't have done this at all. Leigh's loud moan and her walls squeezing your fingers let you know she's reached her own high. But they also make your eyes water, your chest tighten. It wasn't supposed to be like this. You should be thinking about your wife and your wife alone - underneath you with her breathing ragged, not with her ex-boyfriend's lips all over her. The idea makes your stomach churn.

In Leigh's head, however, in the last few months, there has never been a more hopeful moment than this, the undone knot below her belly also undoing some of the tension in her shoulders. You are hers and she is yours. Things might be hard and you might have lost each other for a moment, but she can feel it now. Things would get better. "I lo-" Her lazy words are cut off by your lips pressed to hers harshly. 

You can't hear that. You can't say that. Hell, you can't talk right now. The heat of the moment leaves all your emotions running wild. Any words spoken now would be a mistake, a path of no return. So you use your mouth for something else, running it all the way down her body, tracing the path you know drives her crazy, scolding yourself for thinking so much about what it was like for her when it was with him. Her hands in your hair when you reach your destination work like an anchor; grounding you to that moment with her, to your wife.

But then she's cumming again, against your lips this time, and when she tugs on your hair for you to come back up, it's all back again. All the pain, the doubts, the insecurities. You love her. You know you do. And there's still hope in you that it will all work out. Even if you can’t see how right now. She smiles at you when you climb your way back to her and smiling back at her is so easy. Why can't it all be this easy?

"I'm gonna get you some water." You say the first thing in your mind, an excuse to get out of that room before you explode. "I can go with you." Her eyebrows are frowning but the smile is still on her lips. She seems more at peace than she's been in quite a while, and you find yourself hating yourself for not trying as hard as you could. "It's okay, you must be tired."

"Will you come back?" Her question is uncertain, her eyes scanning yours with concern. You don't know what gave you away. Whether it was your voice, your expression, or just the fact that she knew you better than anyone else. But you force a smile anyway, ignoring the lump in your throat to kiss her forehead. "Of course." You can feel her body relaxing against yours at your reassurance, nodding as she lazily runs her fingers down your back in a gesture that was meant to be a caress, but which makes your skin burn in every place she touches. 

"Okay." Leigh gives you her confirmation, and you waste no time standing up, ignoring the pain in your body from the injuries of your hiking incident. You can feel your wife's eyes following your every movement, but you avoid her gaze at all costs as you put your robe back on. You flash her a short smile as you reach the door, however, receiving an - although content - uncertain one. And, finally out of the room, you don't fight the tears in your eyes anymore.

In the morning, you wake up with the searing pain the adrenaline and pain killers from the hospital had protected you against. Leigh is quick to take care of you. She cleans and redresses your wounds, then she quickly goes out to have your prescription filled so you don’t have to. The rest of the day she lets you rest and comes to your aid whenever you need. You were relieved that she spent most of her time outside of the room with your daughter. Anytime she was in the room only made it more confusing in your mind. It reminds you of that time in college, before the two of you got together. 

You had gotten so sick that you couldn’t even get out of bed. Your roommates had abandoned you because it was close to the final exams and none of them could afford to get sick. Not that you blamed them, if it had been any of them you would’ve moved out just to be safe. Besides, it wasn’t like you were close with any of them. Leigh was the only person that cared to check on you when she noticed you weren’t in class. You tried to push her away, but she stayed and she took care of you. She made you feel things you never felt for or from a person before with that act of kindness. Shortly after that, you asked her out and never regretted that decision once. Being taken care of by her now made you want to stay. 

But once you’re rested and no longer need the medication to manage the pain, you sign a year lease on an apartment. She is livid when you are packing your things. Throwing your clothes at you as she rips them out of the boxes. You let her get it out, at least she wasn’t holding back anymore and it made you proud. When she broke down in tears, you held her until she fell asleep. You waited until she left for work before you moved your boxes into your car. 

Settling into your apartment is the worst night of your life. You wanted to be home with your daughter. You didn’t want to be alone in this empty place. Nonetheless, you survive the night and the next and the next. You don’t make the place feel like home, you don’t even set up the second bedroom for Briana. You don’t want your daughter to be here ever but that means you see less of her. It hurts but you made a promise that you weren’t giving up and that would be giving up. The boxes you have are the only things you use for your clothes. The only piece of furniture that you buy is a mattress and box spring because you need it in order to get sleep. But the quality of rest you get is very low since you don’t have your family with you. 

The only time you see Briana is when you need to pick her up from school and drop her off with either Amy or Jules. Sometimes you extend the visits by getting a treat with her, or even picking up some new popular toy that she absolutely must have. Briana is happy about those things, until she asks you when you’re coming back home. You always disappoint her with not having a set answer. 

You see Leigh at the couple therapy sessions that have gone from quiet and polite to screaming matches which progress further to finally hearing each other out and even making each other laugh again. It was much like riding a roller coaster and it made you recognize that life was a roller coaster. Full of highs and lows, good times and bad. That life will always be that way, regardless if you give up on something or keep working on it. You were grateful that not only you chose to but that she chose to keep fighting as well. 

At the end of the most recent session, your therapist gives the strangest homework assignment you’ve ever been given in your life. She assigns the two of you to go out on a date together. You were to take her out on a date sometime between this appointment and the next one. You didn’t like the idea of it being something that was expected of you. Something like that should be something more natural. Something you’re allowed to do and not have to do. But Leigh seemed to be hopeful and looking forward to the date.

The two of you leave the session side by side and you aren’t sure when you’re supposed to ask her. Or even if you’re supposed to or just set a place and time. Reaching the parking lot, Leigh lets you know what direction her car is parked, yours happened to be on the opposite side of the lot. So before you separate, you figure it would be best to set a plan. “Listen, I want to ask you out. I do, but,” you sigh, putting your hands into the pocket of your pants. “What does your work schedule look like? So I won't pick a bad day for you.” 

“Oh, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.” She plays with her car keys nervously. “Well, a few weeks ago, someone told Matt about our separation,” she gestures between the two of you and you worry about where this was going. “He requested that I stay behind one day and I thought it was going to be constructive feedback about something I had submitted and was waiting to hear back on. But instead he confessed his undying love for me and tried to kiss me.” The annoyance in her tone and features amuse you and you choose to focus on that instead of getting upset. “He didn’t get close enough, of course, I shut it down and I just quit. I gathered my belongings and got out of there. I’m back to working for my mom, so any night is good for me.” 

You stand there, stunned. “Wow, okay, how do you feel about that? I know the last thing you wanted to do was go back to that place.” 

Leigh shrugs with a slow smile, she looks so much lighter. You hadn’t realized how different she looked until now. “It’s actually not so bad. I started working on my first novel since I have so much free time. Besides, I get to be with Bri more than I have since I went on maternity leave. Nothing is better than that.” 

You smile, a little jealous about how much she gets to be around your daughter. “Yeah, I bet it’s amazing. She, uh, she mentioned something about you being home a lot. I just thought that meant no more late nights.” You take your phone out to check your calendar and pick a day that works best for you. “How does that sound?” You ask sheepishly. It was strange, having to ask the woman you married out on a date. You felt like you were doing it all wrong, but with the way things were, it didn’t seem like there was a right way.

“Yeah, it works. Although, I have an early curfew,” she says in remarks to Briana’s bedtime ritual. 

“Right, of course. I promise to have you home by eight. Eight thirty the latest.” The two of you go your separate ways and the rest of the week you have a new giddiness that you haven’t felt since the beginning of the relationship. You make reservations at a nice restaurant, making sure to let her know where you’re taking her. You have your best outfit dry cleaned and you even get your car washed. 

The night that you show up, knocking on the front door with two chocolate roses, she opens the door dressed in a honey plaid blazer, a black blouse, and black jeans. She is stunning and you’re left speechless. It was a new outfit and you felt bad that you didn’t do the same for her, but she knew that you weren’t as involved in your clothing. In fact, she’s the one who helped you upgrade your style. It wasn’t a full on makeover kind of thing but you appreciated that she helped you with owning clothing for special occasions. 

You hand her one of the roses. “One for you and,” Briana comes running to the door to greet you, “one for you!” She excitedly pulls you through the door to show you something. It was the first time in months that you’ve been inside your own house. Everything looked so different. Nothing was, maybe a new throw pillow or piece of framed kids artwork, but nothing significant was different. And yet, it all looked different. Felt different. You look over at Leigh, emotions starting to build up, “Are you ready to go?”

“Uh, we have to wait for Jules,” she responds as she spins the stem of the fake flower between her fingers. On the first Valentine's day the two of you had as a couple, she didn’t want you to do anything crazy special. She wasn’t into the corporate holiday, but you still showed up to her dorm with a chocolate rose and took her out. That time it was a simple dinner at a fast food place and to a movie because that’s all that you could afford. What you did varied each year but every Valentine’s after that, you made sure to buy her a chocolate rose. One year you even tried to make one, you failed but she loved it anyway. The last one you gave her was the year she was pregnant with Briana. She had all but forgotten about them. It was one of those little things that Dr. Robbins talked about. “I thought you might like some extra time with Bri,” she grins at you. 

“Thank you,” you say and let Briana take you on a tour of your home. She thinks that you have forgotten it and she needs to remind you of what everything looks like. She ends her tour at the wall of photos so that you can admire them. There were pictures of you and Leigh when you were young and in love. Baby pictures of Briana. Photos of family events. A few pictures of Jules with different partners. She always requested that Leigh take them down after every break up but she never did. You know it was because Leigh did it to mess with her little sister which normally amused you until you noticed a new picture on the wall. It was the picture from the office holiday party at Leigh’s work. It isn’t a picture of you and her, it was of her and Matt. 

Leigh joins your side to look at the pictures with you. She makes some small talk, mentioning the memories of photos she points out. Then she notices that you’re not really paying attention to her and she follows your gaze. “Oh shit,” she quickly removes it from the wall. “I told Jules to get rid of it! I can’t believe this is where she put it!” She struggles with opening the frame. “I can explain this, I promise. It’s not at all what it looks like. I swear I didn’t even know it was up here.” 

You quietly take it from her hands and stare at it. They are posing together because someone must’ve requested it. His arm is around her and he is smiling at the camera. Leigh is holding a flute of champagne and smiling at him. Her expression is soft and it looks similar to the ones around the rest of the wall, where she’s looking at you, but there is something else there. Something darker. She was in pain. She wasn’t in love with him. She was just feeling the way she did when she was first with him. Insecure and lost. You weren’t the one who made her feel that way so it wasn’t associated with you. It was associated with him. She thought what she was feeling toward him was romantic but it was just a cry for help. You clench your jaw as you tap the wood of the frame against the palm of your hand. “Where did this come from?”

“He sent it, with a note and some flowers. I tore up the note and threw out the flowers. It came in a different frame and I gave it to Jules because she liked it. She was there when it was delivered. He had it sent to my new job. I guess she reframed it to get back at me or something. It’s a sick joke,” she explains and reaches to take it from your hands but you hold onto it. “Stop, it’s just a stupid picture,” she says in a whisper.

You nod in agreement, it was a stupid picture. But it reminded you where you failed as a spouse. Which made it less stupid. “I think we should burn it,” you suggest. “Just to see if it will reappear again. Maybe he got a witch to enchant it or something.” 

Leigh scoffs, “You’re joking? I’m over here having a heart attack and you’re making jokes!” 

You shrug, “I’m pretty serious about burning it but if you find humor in it, good for you.” Then to let her know that you are making light of the situation, you break into a grin and she shakes her head at you. Jules rushes into the house and she freezes at the sight of you holding the picture in your hand. “Oh good, we can go now.” You hand the picture frame to Jules, “Not funny, but nice try. Have fun with Bri.” Jules shuts her eyes and curses to herself as she holds the frame. 

“Leigh,” she starts an apology but her sister tells her to save it. She really didn’t care to hear it. The two of you say goodnight to Briana on your way out. Then walk hand in hand to your car. 

During dinner, you can’t help thinking how different things feel with her. It was a good difference, but it was an adjustment. It’s been a while since you’ve shared a meal with her and even longer since you’ve had a decent conversation with her. She talked mostly of her life without you and it hadn’t hit you how long the two of you had been separated for. And you didn’t realize how much you put your life on pause for. Leigh was talking about having started a book club with her friends who meet every other week to discuss the books they choose. That Briana had really gotten into art more than ever before. She was also having playdates regularly with her new best friend that you hadn’t heard of before. She talked about how helpful her mom and sister have been since the separation. That she even has a better relationship with her father and how much her therapy has been helping. 

There was so much going on in her life that you were having a hard time imagining a place for you in it. Other than the couples therapy where you’re back in her life for an hour a week. She was fine without you. She doesn’t need you. “What about you?” She asks when she notices how quiet you’ve been. “What have you been up to lately?”

It takes you a moment to come up with an answer that didn’t sound sad. You didn’t want to drop the good mood she was in but you weren’t able to match her level. “Uh, I go to work, I pick up Bri, and then I go home. I don’t do much else, except of course the thing with you.” 

“Oh,” she isn’t sure what else to say. “You know that you can always have Bri over if you–”

You shake your head, “I didn’t want that. I,” you sigh and drop your fork to your plate. “My apartment isn’t furnished or decorated. I don’t want it to be a permanent place. It’s not supposed to be. When we started this, I thought we would still see more of each other–”

“That’s not how we give each other space.”

“I know,” you sigh, “I know but still. I didn’t think that I was supposed to have a life, you know outside of trying to get ours back.” Your tone was heavy with upset and accusation. 

Leigh drops her utensils, “I’m only doing what was asked of us. Which was to find ourselves outside of our marriage. No one told you to sit and wait for things to get better.” 

“Don’t give me that, I like who I am in our marriage. I like staying home with you and Bri on a Friday night. I don’t like other people, I don’t like going out, I never have. You know that,” you respond. 

“I know, but sometimes I like to go to dinners with my friends. The kind that they bring their spouses along to. I always felt, I don’t know, left out because you wouldn’t go to those.” 

“This again? Leigh, every time I go to those I upset everyone. I thought we agreed it was better that I just stayed home.” 

“Yes, this again. Maybe you could try treating other people like they are people. Like the way you treat me and Bri. Why can’t you be funny and kind to everyone else?” 

“Because I don’t care about everyone else!” You close your eyes to center yourself and lower your voice. “It’s hard for me to talk to people. You know that.” 

She nods and crosses her arms, “I do, and I think it might be something you should work on. I love our time alone together, Y/n. But I need more. If you were in my shoes, you would too. I don’t always enjoy the company of others but sometimes I do and I want to be able to share that with you. The way my friends can with their people.” 

You mirror her and cross your arms over your chest. “You’ve changed and I’m happy for you. That’s what you wanted to do and I still care about you. But I’m not changing who I am. I like who I am,” you shrug. 

She nods a couple of times before slightly leaning over the table to keep her words private as the two of you are getting the attention of others. “So basically, you’re just waiting for me to come back to you. To a marriage that wasn’t working. After all of this work I’ve done on myself to fix this marriage.” 

You shake your head, “What are you talking about? Plenty of people would be happy with our arrangement.” 

“Well I’m not any of those people and I’m telling you that I’m not happy about it,” she states sharply. 

“I see,” you poke your tongue around the inside of your mouth. “I think I’m ready to go home now,” you wave the waiter over to ask for the check and Leigh puts up no protest. When you drop her off at the house Jules asks how it went and you only thank her for watching Briana. That night you start looking for ideas for Briana’s bedroom. This was going to take longer than you originally thought and you couldn’t keep going on without being around your daughter.

At the next session, Leigh is quick to tattle on you for not working on yourself and the therapist agrees with her. You haven’t been putting in the required work in order for things to progress. You needed to find yourself outside of the marriage. You needed to have interests other than the bare minimum. You needed to have a life that wasn’t just staying home, eating frozen meals, and watching the entirety of streaming channels on your laptop. You needed to stop waiting. 

So you start looking online for things to do outside of work. You go to a local activities center to sign up for different clubs to test them out. You find no joy in any of them and get yourself kicked out of three. You also start seeing a therapist for yourself. Well, you cycle through a different therapist a week for five weeks. Unable to connect with a single one, until you give up and settle for the sixth one. After two months of going to a therapist, you didn’t feel any different in where you stand. But you offered Leigh a compromise to host more dinner parties at home, not seeing the reason to go out when they could come over. She liked the idea but only if you agreed to go out at least once a month. Reluctantly, you agree. 

Dr. Robbins congratulates the two of you on the progress and assigns another date. This time you have more stories to share with her. Hectic things that happen at work, the things you do with Bri when she’s over at your apartment, the hobbies and activities you’ve failed at and the stuff you actually took a liking to. “Now, it’s not a group thing like your book club. But trust me, individually adding those beads to the sticky paper has really kept me sane the past few months. I can show you some of the ones I’ve done so far!” You reach for your phone to show her but she stops you. 

“It’s okay, I can see them the next time I drop Bri off. No devices, remember?” 

“Oh, right,” there was a small list of rules that the therapist gave the two of you for how to go on the date. The most important one being no distracting electronics of any kind. “How is the book club?” 

Leigh smiles, “It’s been good. I um, I actually gave them all of the chapters that I have finished so far when no one could agree on a book and the feedback was very positive and some of them even had helpful ideas. It was really amazing seeing people so engaged with something I wrote.” 

“That’s amazing! I’m not surprised at all, you’re a talented writer and I’m so glad that you finally see that.” She thanks you for the compliment with flushed cheeks and you smile back at her. It goes quiet for a bit after that. The two of you enjoying the food in front of you. “I would love to read it when you’re ready to share it with me,” you eventually say. 

“Oh, yeah, I’ll email it to you as soon as I get home.” You thank her while taking a sip of your drink and she stops moving her full fork as she recognizes a certain piece of jewelry on your hand. “You put it back on,” she points to your wedding ring. 

“Oh, yeah, I did.” You flex your fingers out in front of you. “My assistant asked if the divorce was finalized and it put me in a bad mood. I hadn’t even thought about it since I took it off. I wasn’t even sure that I brought it with me when I moved out but, well, there it is.” You resume eating and the rest of the meal, Leigh has a smile on her face. She finally felt like she was going in a good direction with you. 

At the end of the date, you walk her to the front door but she doesn’t open it as fast as she did last time. “Well,” she says and you look at her cluelessly. She lets out a soft laugh as she licks her lips. “I’m pretty sure this is the part where you kiss me goodnight.” 

“On the first date?” 

She gives you a look that says are you kidding me? “Technically it's our second.”

“Ah, because the first one went so well,” you say playfully. 

“And last time I checked, we’re still married,” she says matter-of-fact. 

You look to her hand to see her wedding ring then drop your gaze to your hand and nod, “That’s true.” You weren’t sure why you were being hesitant so you lean in and just as your lips are about to meet, Jules opens the door startling the two of you apart.

“Oh, that’s why. My bad, carry on,” she shuts the door. You and Leigh share a laugh but she still expects a kiss. Now you know why you weren’t so quick to kiss her. You were still so in love with her that you would probably throw all of the work out the window and come back home and never attend another couples session. The last time you kissed her you allowed things to go further than you probably should’ve. Or, kissing her could make you realize that all of this work might not be worth it anymore. That it could be easier to go your separate ways. 

So much can be undone by this one kiss and that idea almost seemed ridiculous to you. Until you remember why you’re here in the first place. You try to block it out of your mind. You didn’t need to go back there. You need to be here, in this moment, with her. Leigh starts to get discouraged by how long it’s taking you to make a simple move on her. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe she should’ve waited, or maybe she should’ve just done it herself. Then you place an intimate kiss on her forehead. “I’m sorry,” you whisper. “It’s too much right now. I’m not there yet.” 

She nods in understanding and places her hand on your cheek, she rubs her thumb back and forth as she admires you for a moment. “It’s okay, another time,” she says hopefully but you aren’t certain there will be one. You nod, for her sake, maybe even for yours, and wish her a goodnight. 

Because the date went so well, you’re encouraged to go on more. But it felt… odd. To be dating the woman you married close to ten years ago. It almost felt like an entirely new relationship. The two of you were living separate lives for the most part; homes, friends, etc. Nothing was what it used to be, which is a tough pill to swallow but people aren’t meant to stay the same forever. They’re meant to grow, evolve. This was the two of you evolving, separately but somehow still together. The fact that the good elements from your old relationship still existed and only seemed better than before was comforting. As for the old problems, the two of you discover them and deal with them as they arise. Instead of pretending they don’t exist or hoping they disappear on their own. 

Physically, you’re still keeping your distance. You hug her at the end of the dates, or kiss her forehead, or caress her face. But never go further than that. Still working through the issues you have with being physically intimate. As for emotionally, you don’t believe there was ever a time when you and Leigh were so vulnerable and intimate with each other. Yes, the both of you could argue knowing each other more than anyone else, but there were so many new sides that you were learning of. Not just from her but from yourself as well. You were learning how to better communicate with other people and even managed to meet people you actually enjoyed talking with. You hadn’t realized before that your friends were really Leigh’s friends. 

Now that you started meeting with a few people after work to have a few drinks every so often, you started to feel less lonely. That was part of the problem with Leigh. The only time you didn’t feel alone before was either with her or with Briana, that wasn’t fair to either of them. Now, you had people to talk to that you weren’t paying for and they had similar interests that you didn’t have to introduce to them and explain over and over. It was fun and it was easy. 

Then they planned a dinner where they included their significant others and the loneliness returned. You finally understood what Leigh meant when she mentioned that she felt left out. Yes, there are moments when everyone engages on a topic, but there are also the moments when people have conversations amongst themselves. It was awkward and you missed Leigh. You know that she would have come if you had invited her. But you needed to experience this without her in order to understand.

The session after that, you apologize for being stubborn and for isolating yourself from the world for so long which in turn isolated her from it. To reward the impressive strides of progress the two of you have made as individuals and as a couple, the next assignment is for the two of you to make your own moves in the relationship. Without her input or guidance. The therapist encouraged the two of you to still come to counseling, because it’s good for even the healthiest of couples but it wouldn’t be weekly and she was no longer going to give assignments. What happens from here, it is up to you and Leigh. 

That created some anxiety for you but you already knew what you wanted to do. It was something you had been wrestling with for sometime. But as you’re walking to your car, this time parked next to hers, Leigh startles you by saying, “I think we should have sex.” You lose balance when you trip over your own foot but you catch yourself before you make an even bigger fool of yourself. “I just… We haven’t in a long time. You know, not since…” she trails off. 

“I remember,” you give her an apologetic glance. During one of the sessions you had to talk about why you still left after that night. What was going through your head when you slept with her. The hard part wasn’t telling her how you felt. The hard part was hearing what was going through her mind when she made love to you that night. She was heartbroken and angry with you to find out that you used her the way that you did. Not only that you slept with her and made her feel wonderful during one of her most vulnerable nights. It was the hope that you gave her that hurt her the most. Part of you even knew what that night would mean for her. But you did it anyway. She has since forgiven you as you have forgiven her. But that didn’t mean the reminder didn’t sting a little. 

Leigh gingerly places her hand on your forearm, “I’m not saying right now or tomorrow. I’m just putting it out there.” She works her hand up your arm as she stands closer to you, so that you can smell her perfume. It was the kind that drove you crazy and she knew that. Clearly, she’s had some ways to improve the relationship on her mind as well. “I want you,” she says in a low, alluring tone. “I need you,” she tucks her bottom lip under her teeth as she meets your eyes with hers. She was doing all of the old tricks she knew that used to hypnotize you. Fortunately for her, they were still working. You were having a hard time not kissing her. But in the parking lot of the therapist's office was not the place you wanted to kiss her for the first time. 

“I’ll, um,” you swallow thickly, “I’ll think about it. We should uh, we should go. I think we have to um. You have a babysitter for Bri right? Wouldn’t want to have to pay her more than you already do, right?” You adjust the collar of your shirt and Leigh takes pleasure in watching your squirm. She wasn’t certain if she could still have that effect on you. It was almost better than if you gave into her right now. 

She shakes her head with a soft giggle, “She’s at your apartment with a sitter. Remember?” 

“She is?” You look away from Leigh to collect your thoughts. “Right, right, she is. Well, I have to go,” you finally step away from her. “I’ll call you later,” you say as you unlock your car. She nods once as she confidently struts to her car, knowing that your gaze is on her. You start the car when she starts hers and it’s taking everything in you to not jump into her car and give her what she wants right then and there. 

You take the long way back to your apartment to cool off. Leigh had awakened something inside of you that had been asleep for far too long. You go through a drive-thru to pick up dinner for you and Briana because there was no way you were going to be able to focus long enough to cook. You just had to get her fed and put to bed so that you could go to sleep. That is, if you can fall asleep. 

The task proves to be a difficult one when all you can do is think about being with Leigh. It doesn’t help when she sends you a short video to tease you. It wasn’t anything too revealing, her face wasn’t even in the frame, she was in her pajama shorts and had on one of your t-shirts that you left behind. But the shirt wasn’t covering her stomach. She had it bunched up to show her smooth skin as she ran her fingers down the length of her abdomen and stopped at the top of her shorts. All you could respond with was calling her evil. She wished you goodnight and you wanted to throw your phone across the room just so you could tear your eyes away from the video. It was so simple, yet it triggered many pleasurable memories of being with her. Shaking your head, you reach your hand into your pajama pants knowing that you wouldn’t be able to sleep otherwise. 

The next day, when you knew she was at work, you send her a spicy text message which she opened near Jules. Her sister didn’t see anything, she wasn’t even paying attention to Leigh. But the second she realized what the message was, she covered her screen as if you had sent a dirty picture. Her reply made you laugh as she scolded you for trying to distract her at work. You told her it was payback for making you lose sleep. 

This led to a series of teasing each other when either of you least expected it. That is, until one day Briana is playing on Leigh’s phone and you had sent a link of something you wanted to try with Leigh. Thankfully, Briana didn’t see anything, all she did was excitedly return the device to her mom. She was always happy to see you and Leigh talking to each other. Leigh texted you immediately that the game was over and why. You couldn’t agree more, you don’t even want to think about what Briana could’ve seen had the situation been reversed. 

On a date with Leigh, this time at your apartment for a special meal you made instead of an expensive restaurant, you try to figure out how to tell her what the next step in the relationship it is that you want to take. You make a nice setting, she has a glass of wine, there are candles lit around. A few in the kitchen, one on the coffee table, and another in the center of the dinner table. Not enough to maintain lighting. But enough to keep the place smelling nice. You have the lighting on a low setting, to give off the romantic candle lit date effect which she appreciates the efforts you were making. 

Leigh was hopeful this evening would lead to more physical events. She wasn’t expecting sex, but she was expecting something more than a hug. Though, she most definitely had the former on her mind. It was almost impossible not to. She thought you were the most attractive person she had ever laid her eyes on and she was human. She has needs that only you could fulfill.

She was sitting at the kitchen counter, watching you cook and imagining being with you again. You were going over your speech in your head as you tried to keep a light conversation between the two of you. Effectively ignoring her bedroom eyes. She hardly responds, most of the time you have to repeat yourself because she was lost in a daydream. When you serve the food you have her move over to the table and fumble trying to bring up why you asked her on this date in the first place. “So, my landlord emailed me the other – what are you doing?” You were sitting close to her and she was taking full advantage, she had one hand on your thigh as she ate her food with the other. 

Leigh shrugs and plays it off, “Nothing. This is really good by the way. Where did you get the recipe?”

You clench your jaw to focus on her question and not how good her touch felt. “My,” you clear your throat, “it was something my mom taught me during her last visit.” 

“Awe, I miss your mom. She finally started talking to me again, but she’s still not happy with me.” 

“Yeah, she’ll come around. Eventually,” you grab your water and gulp half of it down because your mouth has suddenly gotten very dry. Her fingers were only lightly caressing the fabric of your jeans, something that wouldn’t normally affect you so much, but after a long time of abstaining it was making your entire body scream for her. Now, with your mind completely invaded with thoughts of Leigh, you throw your entire plan out the window. It could wait a little longer. This, however, could not.

"Yeah, I was actually thinking of- humpf!" Whatever Leigh was about to tell you was cut short by your lips crashing against hers, so eagerly that she almost knocks her drink. But the loud surprised noise she gave woke you up immediately, widening your eyes as you pulled away from her - fighting the heavy magnetic field that keeps your body so close to her. "I-I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking-" Now it's your time to be interrupted, her mouth coming back to yours at record time. "Don't apologize, I like it when you don't overthink things, just... Do what you want."

"What I want now is to take you to my bedroom." You let her know in a hoarse voice, your lips still tingle as you gaze at her own, watching as the corners of her mouth lift up in a smirk. "Well," she starts in a husky voice, leaning forward, smiling proudly at the way your eyes descend to the low cleavage of the dress she so carefully picked with those exact intentions.  "What are you waiting for?"

Your eyes snap back up to hers as you smile softly. In silence, you stand up from your chair, holding your hand in front of your body for her to take. Leigh does so with a smile of her own on her lips, making a point of keeping her body as close to yours as possible as she places herself on her feet. But the little distance between your torsos is still too wide for her, so she uses her free hand to wrap it on your tie, pulling you closer until your mouth is back at hers again. 

The action makes you groan as you remember all the other times she's done it before. Of you coming home from dates before and after you got married, or even just those times you got back from work and were greeted with your wife with a fire that only you were able to put down. And it also made you remember how this one was the first real kiss you’ve shared since that night. The last time you touched her in all these months. No wonder why you missed her so much, why her tongue sliding against yours is driving her crazy. 

You pulling her up by her thighs surprised Leigh greatly, but she took no time wrapping her legs around your body, deepening the kiss as her arms loosely enveloped around your neck. As you take her to your destination, eyes closed and mouths messily pressed together, bumping into pieces of furniture along the way is inevitable. But both of you laugh every time you do, and the sound of her laugh makes your heart fill with such love you can't even process it. The way she smiles against your lips lets you know she's feeling the same way. 

When you reach the bedroom, you press her against the closest wall to keep her steady. But your back was still hurting sharply, and you groan as you put her back on the floor. "Sorry, I guess I'm too old for that." You comment sheepishly, but the giggle she lets out is content, and she looks at you so dearly that you feel like there's not a single reason to be embarrassed. "It's okay, that was hot enough." Leigh answers good-naturedly, and now it's your time to laugh, shaking your head with amusement before kissing her again.

This kiss, however, is completely different from the others. Your lips meet slowly, savoring the taste you haven't had in so long, the feeling you've been craving more than any of you thought possible. Leigh makes her move first, her fingers working on your tie with expertise, loosening around your neck before taking it off. Before the item even hits the floor, her hands are on the buttons of your shirt, undoing each one as you trailed your kisses down her neck, sucking the sensitive spots you know drive her crazy. 

When she reaches the last button, her hands are back on your shoulders to push the shirt off. But this time you stop her, moving your fingers - previously holding her waist - to her own shoulders, pushing the thin straps of her dress to the sides. Before you have to ask, Leigh spins on her heels, her back to you as she pushes her hair to the side, giving you a better view of the dress zipper. So you take advantage of the exposed skin to kiss the back of her neck, smiling against her as you hear her holding her breath. 

As you finally pull the zipper down, you put some distance between the two of you, just enough so Leigh is able to step out of her dress comfortably. But you catch yourself staring at her figure as the thin fabric slides down her body, exposing her body to you. You have seen it thousands of times, but you're absolutely certain you will never get used to the heavenly scene - much less when you noticed she was wearing no bra underneath her clothes, only her underwear covering her sculpted body. 

"Is everything okay?" Leigh asks when she turns around and catches you frozen in place, somewhat uncertain. "I'm just admiring you." You answer, unable to do anything other than smile. Your wife offers you a shy smile, her cheeks taking on a slight shade of pink. The whole composition takes your breath away. "You're gorgeous." 

"And you're the most beautiful human being I've ever seen." She hits back as she approaches you again, her hands finding their way to your chest underneath your unbuttoned shirt. "Someone's gotta tell you what a mirror is." You joke with your hands on the bare skin of her waist, making her smile with amusement, muttering softly against your lips, "Shut up." She does it for you, however, kissing you again at a deliciously slow pace that makes your head spin. 

As she finally gets to push your shirt off your shoulder, you grab her buttcheeks, pressing her body against yours and savoring the way she moans against your mouth. The sound, however, awakens in you an even stronger type of need. So the moment your shirt is on the floor, you walk with her towards the bed. When her calves hit the mattress, Leigh sits down on the bed, moving her hands to your hips to keep you in place. Before you can ask what's wrong, she's working on the zipper of your jeans, her eyes fixed on yours as she pulls your pants down making your mouth go dry. 

As soon as you step out of the piece of clothing, Leigh takes your hands in hers, inviting you to lay on top of her. Obeying her quickly, you smile when your face is hovering over hers, drinking her in, admiring her as if she was the most beautiful work of art you've ever seen in your life - because that's exactly what she is. Her green eyes shine into yours like a million little stars, and if you were able to read her mind right now, all you'd hear was Leigh screaming how much she loves you, how deeply she needs you. But you can't. And you don't even have to, for her body tells you these exact same things every time you touch her. 

Peppering kisses along her jaw, you slide your hand up her inner thighs, slowly making your way to her center. Once your fingers rest over her covered intimacy, Leigh sighs heavily in anticipation, her fingers gripping your shoulders to encourage you to go further. So you pull her panties down her legs, and Leigh helps you by moving them until the small item slides to the bedroom floor. With your eyes locked on hers, you slide your fingers along her folds, collecting her wetness in your digits before you start drawing light patterns along her clit. 

Leigh shudders with the touch, her body burning, and her skin tingling. But she holds your gaze firmly, unable to look away. Completely hypnotized by how beautiful you are in her eyes, by how much she loves you and how much you mean to her. As your movements grow faster you start to leave wet kisses along her neck, going down to her collarbone. "Wait." She calls out when she feels you moving your body down. You stop yourself in place, wondering what you've done wrong. But all she gives you is a tender smile, wrapping her arms around your body in a loose hug as she explains, "I want you up here. So I can hold you."

The smile you give her is blinding, filling her chest with all the best things that exist in the vast, unknown universe that surrounds you both. But nothing out there matters now. All that matters are your fingers fucking her the way only you are able to do, your mouth so expectantly kissing her that that alone would be able to drive her crazy. But you're willing to give her so much more than that, of course, and when you thrust two fingers inside her, curling her in that way you know she likes most, Leigh's back arches up, her torso pressed against yours as she moans loudly, her nails scratching your back making your own core boil. 

It doesn't take long for Leigh to reach her limit, moans and whimpers leaving her lips as she spasms beneath you, your name coming out in a cry of pleasure as her orgasm washes over her. Her trembling hand rests over your wrist to ask you to stop, and you do so with a smile on your lips, watching as she breathes in and out with her eyes closed. "I love you." The words leave your mouth with ease, and Leigh's eyes snap open immediately, a sea of green meeting yours with a multitude of emotions. "I love you too." She lets you know tearfully, and you let out a happy giggle, kissing her one more time before you pull away again to say, "and I want you to sit on my face."

"What?!" She asks with a laugh, shocked by the unexpected request. "What?!" You ask as if it was the most natural thing to ask your beautiful wife, smiling amusedly at her cheeks burning red. Your question makes her laugh some more, shaking her head at your attitude. Leigh missed this the most, your relaxed nature, so comfortable with her you know you could say anything to her, the same way you would hear anything she has to say. It is at times like these that she's most certain that you are the only person she would ever want in her life.  

"Are you sure about this?" She asks, this time with concern, and you place a finger under your chin as you pretend to think. "Wait, let me think of reasons why I wouldn't want you sitting on my face, I'm sure there are many." Your answer makes her laugh wholeheartedly, the sound warming your soul entirely. And soon after her laughter dies down in a smile, her lower lip trapped between her teeth for a short second before she's kissing you again. As you kiss her back, the two of you move together so she's on top of you instead, and she pulls away to do what you requested of her. 

She looks almost shy as she straddles your face, and you would've made a joke about her doing this a bunch of other times if her smell wasn't intoxicating you so much. As she settles down slowly, you take a hold of her thighs, pressing her further against your as you eat her out, letting your tongue explore every single piece of her. Still affected by her previous orgasm, Leigh has to hold onto the headboard with her eyes closed, and it doesn't take long for her to cum again, spilling her juices into your mouth as your tongue guides her through her high. 

"Baby, please." She asks in a whimper, her hand on your hair as she begs you to stop the overstimulation. Grudgingly, you do so, letting go of her legs so she can lay back down. With an easy smile on her lips, Leigh lies on top of you, kissing you softly and letting out a low moan as she tastes herself on your tongue. But the kiss is short lived due to her tired state, so she soon pulls away and rests her head on your shoulder. You take no time in wrapping your arms around her, drawing small patterns along her hip bone.

In the silent room, the only sounds you hear are those of your breathing and the voices in your head, with a million arguments for you to do something that maybe you shouldn't. But then Leigh's voice speaks louder than all the others in your mind. I like it when you don't overthink things. Maybe you should just do it. "Leigh?" You call out softly after a long moment of silence. "Yeah?" She asks lazily, her breath tingling your skin as she speaks. It takes you another moment to decide, your mouth going dry. But before Leigh can ask what's wrong, you smile to yourself, making up your mind.

"I'm ready to come home."

Taglist: @madamevirgo @wqndanat @thisischaismagic @artisannat @olsensnpm @evenbeingcrazy1998 @bentleywolf29 @awkwardmandalorian @agaymilflover @sayah13 @princessprudy @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @piningismymiddlename @the-writer-arcane @diaryoflife @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff

#sorry for your loss #leigh shaw #thanks anon! #fanfiction #leigh shaw imagine #leigh shaw x reader #sorry for your loss imagine #leigh shaw x you #leigh shaw x y/n #collab #abimess #messedupfan

[lick-me-lennon22]

Paul McCartney X Insomniac!Reader - Dream Weaver 🌠

(requested by anon!! John version will be posted soon 💞 enjoy, dearies)

☆☆☆

Paul sat in his cozy study surrounded by stacks of books, a dim desk lamp casting a warm glow on his delicate features. The night was still, the only sound the gentle rustle of leaves in the breeze from beyond the room's large stained glass windows. He sighed, glancing at the clock ticking away the hours. It was well past midnight, and it was par for the course for Paul to stay up this late. After all, he'd slept in until nearly noon - as usual.

For you, however, it was a different story. You'd spent last night tossing and turning, desperately trying to soothe yourself to sleep. Your eyes burned with exhaustion, a testament to the restless energy that consumed you. The following day you had trouble staying alert, despite the fact that you'd been wide-eyed and wired just hours ago. You willed yourself to push through your work and studies, groggy and uncoordinated in your movements. You were sure Paul had noticed your decline.

And notice he had. Paul couldn't help but imagine of you, lying awake in bed, struggling in your battle against insomnia. This wasn't new for you, simply another bout of sleeplessness, but it had been particularly brutal as of late.

With a determined sigh, Paul closed his book and made his way to the kitchen. He began to brew a fresh pot of chamomile tea, recalling its calming properties. He listened closely to the soft hum of boiling water, a comforting presence in the quiet of the night. As he waited for the tea to steep, he rummaged through the cupboards in search of a small jar of honey he'd purchased from the farmer's market only days before.

Armed with the tea and honey, Paul shuffled quietly to your shared bedroom and pushed the door open with his shoulder, the stiff wood creaking as he stepped inside. He is welcomed by the sight of you staring up at the ceiling above, your brows furrowed in frustration. You turn to look at Paul, your gaze softening as you smile weakly at him. He walks to the bed and takes a seat beside you, setting the mug and and jar down on the nightstand.

"Struggling to sleep yet again?" he asks gently, stroking your hair. You nodded, a faint frown marring your features.

"It's been tough lately."

Paul nods in understanding.

"I thought you may want a little something to help calm the nerves," he says, stirring a spoonful of honey into the steaming mug of tea and offering it to you.

You smiled gratefully and accepted, closing your eyes and sipping the fragrant brew. "Thank you, Paul. You didn't have to do that."

He shrugged sheepishly, crossing one ankle over the other as the two of you sat in comfortable silence. After a few moments you settled back under the covers, the warmth of the tea seeping into your bones. Paul began to hum a lullaby, a soft and soothing melody that wrapped around you like a cocoon and momentarily eased your stress.

You continued like this for a while, eventually closing your eyes. But inevitably your mind began to wander, your worries returning with more tenacity than before and gripping your mind with the same dreadful anxiety. You shifted positions a few times, grappling for solace in Paul's melodious voice. But finally you sat up, overwhelmed, and placed your head in your hands with defeat.

Paul halted his song abruptly and turned to your hunched-over form, a somber look on his face. "Not doing the trick?"

You sighed and shook your head wordlessly. Paul placed a sympathetic hand on your shoulder and started to brainstorm. After a few moments, his face lit up with playful inspiration.

"How about I tell you a story?"

At first you were taken aback by the suggestion, finding it a tad childish. But, realizing it may be just the thing to occupy your spiraling mind, you nodded and laid back to cozy up once again.

And so, Paul began to spin a tale, weaving a tapestry of adventure and wonder that transported you far from the confines of your bedroom. His voice sweet as the honeyed tea he'd brought you, a soothing balm for your restless soul, each word a brushstroke painting a vivid picture in your mind.

As he spoke, you felt the weight of the world lift from your shoulders, replaced by a sense of enchantment and awe. When Paul reached the end of his story, you found yourself smiling, the edges of sleep beckoning you with gentle hands.

"Thank you, Paul," you murmured, your voice hoarse with exhaustion and barely above a whisper.

Paul smiled back, his eyes sparkling with warmth.

"Anytime, love. Sweet dreams."

At last you drifted off to sleep, cradled in the comfort and magic of a fantastical realm. You felt a sense of peace wash over you, knowing that with Paul by your side, even the darkest nights held a glimmer of hope.

#the beatles #beatles #beatles x reader #beatles imagines #the beatles x reader #paul mccartney x reader #paul mccartney imagines #paul mccartney #macca #reader insert #insomia #LMLBeatles

[wings-of-ink]

Let's say they are playing truth or dare. But Mc chooses to take dare what would the Ro's have them do? (crushing and dating stage)

This is a toughy for me, Anon; I’m bad at this game lol.

Let’s see….

Oswin:  While in the crushing phase of things, he’ll feel a little out of his depth since he’s very much trying to resolve several issues. He won’t be very creative and is likely to dare something a bit mundane like taking a bite of a sour fruit. 

While in a relationship, Oswin may feel more like his old self sometimes, and be a bit mischievous. For old times sake, he may dare MC to collect honey from a beehive as a nod to their childhood antics.

Zahn:  While in a crushing phase, they’ll probably try to get their flirt on and dare MC to do something like letting Zahn sit in their lap for the rest of the game or vice versa, having MC in their lap.

While in a relationship, they’re being cute - daring MC to love them forever and such.

Duri:  While crushing, they’re daring MC to smack Oswin upside his head or steal his sword just so they can stir up some trouble.

While in a relationship, they’re daring MC to kiss them passionately in front of everyone - also to stir up trouble.

Rune:  Is totally out of their depth with the game and is very grumpy about it. They wise up though and dare MC, in both stages, to take all of Rune’s dares for the remainder of the game (they’re going to pick dare for all their turns).

(Edit, forgot this poor guy) ???:  At both stages, they’re daring MC to profess in a great speech to everyone else how much the MC cares for him. He listens with a very smug smile.

Thank you for the question, Anon! ^_^

#twine if #if wip #asks #twine wip #god cursed if #gc ro reactions

[dross-the-fish]

I've been having consistent nightmares lately and since Jekyll/Hyde is a comfort character for me, can you uh...write something about them helping a nightmare ridden anon to sleep...? If not that's completely okay!!!!!

One quick Hyde comfort drabble.

.....

I was reading in the study late one evening when I heard the sound of dragging footsteps and soft dismal sighing issue from the corridor. I cocked my head and lowered my book, hoping the sound would bypass the study and the distressed soul would leave me in peace, for I was not of a mind to be disturbed. I had stolen from Adam his prized book, a battered and worn copy of Milton’s “Paradise Lost” for my perusal while the behemoth was doing his nightly patrol of the grounds. It was not the words of John Milton that intrigued me, but rather the scrawlings in the margins, the crude sketches and the pressed flowers between the pages that told their own story. I desired to know my preternatural companion, the source of my curiosity being his origin and the nature of such a man-made creature as he.

It was of some interest to me, after all, the good or ill nature and capacity of man and those who were man-like. As the footsteps drew closer, I realized my privacy was to be breeched. I stuffed the book into the drawer of the end table beside my armchair and picked up a newspaper, hoping that if I looked engrossed enough in the boxing notes I might escape being directly addressed.

Luck was not with me. My unwelcome company entered the study and elected to seat themselves in the armchair adjacent to mine. I was only able to continue feigning interest in my paper for another moment or two when my curiosity won out and I glanced up to see who had joined me.

It was Anon, looking quite harrowed.

“Hello, Mr. Hyde,” they greeted me meekly.

I gave them a curt nod and an exaggerated rustle of my paper in the hopes that they might take a hint. I would have settled for outright rudeness or even violence but that damnable Dr. Watson had been giving me rather a hard time about my discourteousness. Anon did not speak further, and the quiet was not the boon I had hoped it would be. Silence when one is alone is bliss, silence when one sits in the company of a dismal acquaintance with kicked-puppy eyes is unbearable.

I peered over my unread paper at them and finally asked, “What has you up so late?”

“I had a bad dream.”

“Ah,” I returned to my pretend interest in my paper with redoubled effort.

Horrendous silence. Like a thick, miserable pall. This wasn’t working.

“What was your nightmare about?”

Anon began to confess and I must admit, their sorrow was genuine and the horrors they revealed to be the source of their troubled sleep moved me to pity.

“Hardly sounds like you’re having the fun sort of nightmares, those are…those are quite sad, anon.”

They broke down, weeping with their head in their hands. I held up my paper in front of me as though it might shield me from their misery but when it became apparent that they were not going to stop crying any time soon I finally folded it and put it away.

There was still enough of the good doctor in me to stir me to help when I saw suffering.

It seemed not all of Henry could be killed…

“How long have you had these dreams, Anon?” I asked, standing and reaching out a hairy hand to place on their quaking shoulder. I was hoping to offer some meager display of comfort. I was not prepared for them to leap from the chair and bury their face in my shoulder.

“They won’t stop! No matter what I do they won’t stop!” they sobbed.

I patted them awkwardly wracking my brain for anything that might help them. A disease of the body I could treat, or else confirm that there was no treatment and advise the suffer to get their affairs in order. Wounds of the mind were entirely beyond my ability and my desire to heal and yet…

…they way anon clung and shivered stirred an urge to try.

I lifted my arms, configuring the lanky limbs into something that resembled and embrace. Anon sagged their weight upon me, as though they could no longer hold themselves up and I found my own frame bracing to meet that weight on instinct.

Utterson had wept like this once, as though the foundation that held him upright had been kicked away. Only once, for he was not an emotional man. Henry had been the one to hold him. When a man’s father passes away it is acceptable to weep aloud and be held by a dear friend.

Somewhere deep within me I managed to find some scrap of Henry to draw into my limbs and the embrace became genuine. I remembered how to hold, how to squeeze gently and release and how to speak words of comfort.

“I’m so tired…”

They sounded small and far away. I deposited them back into the armchair, “I have medicine that can help you sleep, and a sofa in my lab. It’s quiet and clean there, perhaps a new environment will facilitate more restful slumber,” I offered.

They sniffled and nodded. I had intended merely to walk ahead and have them follow but they clung to my arm like a child and even I had not the will to snap at them for it.

I was getting soft in my old age. I’d grown two inches since joining this motley band and I was aware of new complexities developing in my person. Perhaps I was reverting back to Henry, or maybe I was becoming my own being. I hadn’t been Henry in so long I sometimes struggled to recall what I was like in his shape. Maybe he really had disappeared and Edward Hyde was becoming his own unique mix of good and evil.

Did it even matter? I would never look into a mirror and see Henry Jekyll again for I knew the moment I did he would try to finish what he started.

Anon must have noticed my sudden lapse into contemplation because I felt them squeeze my arm.

“Is everything alright?”

“Aye, it’s no concern of yours,” I replied gruffly.

They frowned but had the sense not to press me. I was grateful for that. Once we arrived at my lab I settled them onto the sofa and prepared a small herbal tea. The concoction was bitter but effective in inducing sleep. Taking note of Anon’s wan face I decided that perhaps a spoonful of honey wouldn’t hurt. They were already plagued by nightmares, at least their medicine should taste pleasant.

I returned to their side and bade them drink it, giving a nod of satisfaction when they presented back to me the empty cup. As I turned to leave, they caught my sleeve.

“Please stay? Stay until I’m sleeping?”

My impulse was to be truculent and offer to put them to sleep by bashing them in the head. But I’d already taken pains to help them, it would not do to waste my own work. I pulled my chair from my desk and slid it by the sofa, seating myself beside my patient. Before long, their lids began to droop and they drifted off to sleep. Absently I ran a hand over their slumbering head, suddenly finding that I was no longer in such a hurry to leave them.

The quiet between the two of us had turned inexplicably comfortable.

#Edward Hyde #Drabbles for anon