#Like it’s gross either way but the implication that he’s known/been into her since she was a kid makes it sooo much worse

[overly-hubristic-mad-scientist]

I desperately need to know how long Hill has known the Halsey’s and how long he’s been attracted to Meg because this can go from utterly disgusting to world endingly disgusting so quick

#Like it’s gross either way but the implication that he’s known/been into her since she was a kid makes it sooo much worse #Like there’s a clipping we see a brief shot of that Hill collected of Meg about her winning homecoming queen or something and it just #Because what the fuck Carl #You’re the one who should’ve gone to jail #And why is the Dean so chill about his friend clearly wanting to fuck his daughter #Like I feel that’s some shit any normal parent would go to jail over #herbert west #reanimator #dan cain #bride of reanimator #Meg Halsey #carl hill

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Into The Unknown, Part 1

... I have no self-control do not perceive me

Marinette stared at the pile of bright red, yellow, and green clothes on the ground. It was all she’d done in the five-ish minutes since she’d portaled onto the scene. Just… stared.

It wasn’t like there was much else to do, anyways. Red Robin was currently beating the absolute fuck out of the person that had the audacity to disintegrate his brother right in front of him. It wasn’t like she could even fix it because the witch had been out cold before she had been able to pull Red Robin off to get a hit in so she could use her lucky charm.

So, she stared.

It was weird. She could almost feel a person inside the clothes but… maybe that was the residue or the ashes or whatever gets left behind when you zap a person out of existence? She didn’t really want to check, to be honest. Gross.

Eventually, though, she hesitantly leaned down and brushed her hand over it, trying to find the energy and get rid of it because it was really uncomfortable --.

… oh hell no that pile of clothes did not just fucking giggle at her.

She narrowed her eyes and carefully lifted up the bottom of the shirt, only to yelp and fall back. She scrabbled on the gross Gotham alley ground until her back hit Red Robin’s arm and he was forced to pause or risk hitting a meta (which would not have been good for his health).

“What?” He hissed.

She swallowed thickly. “That’s a child.”

“... what?” Red asked, all the anger bleeding from his tone in his confusion.

“We let Batman’s kid turn into a baby,” she whispered… then, it sunk in more. “We let Batman’s kid turn into a baby.”

He straightened on top of the thing that was really more bloody pulp than person at this point. “What do you mean ‘we let Batman’s kid turn into a baby’?”

But she didn’t really get a chance to answer because the baby chose that exact moment to be sick of being suffocated under all the armor and pushed it off.

Red Robin gulped. Because, yep, that was Robin as a baby. Batman was going to kill them.

Except he wasn’t going to kill them. Because Batman doesn't kill. No, Batman would find something even worse and that would suck.

The baby -- Robin? Should she still call him that mentally? -- giggled at their pain. Like an asshole.

They were so fucked.

~

He’d let B’s favorite kid get turned into a baby. Was there a way to get unadopted? Because if there was it was totally going to happen. Or maybe his dad would just cut him off because he was 19 now and could just get kicked out.

No. Nope! Not going to happen. No. He could fix this.

“Okay. Okay okay okay. We need a plan,” he heard himself saying.

Ladybug scoffed. “We? I was barely even here, this is on you.”

“Leave me alone to deal with this and I swear to god I will tell B that you did it.”

She paled. “You wouldn’t. No way.”

“Yes way. So, help me think of something.”

The baby giggled and started crawling over and both of them averted their eyes because, unfortunately, the child did not get baby clothes to go with his random transformation. Baby Damian didn't seem to care as he reached them and started climbing on Ladybug since she was closest. At least it wasn’t him. He did not want to see his adoptive brother’s… ew.

Ladybug made a gagging sound and then quickly summoned a lucky charm. She kept her face turned away as much as her neck would physically allow as she fumbled her way through swaddling the child in a polka-dotted blanket.

And then her shoulders slumped a little. “Great. Great. This is… great,” she muttered, picking up the bundle o’ baby.

He let himself look down now that it was safe.

“Alright, we need to go to another dimension where time moves faster,” Ladybug said after a few seconds. “And then we wait for him to age… fifteen-ish years. Best way to not make Batman notice.”

“... what about us? We also age.”

“Huh…? Oh. Right. You’re human.” She pulled off the glasses she was wearing and blinked a few times before handing it over. “Congrats on your upgrade. The tiny horse god is named Kaalki. She likes cake.”

“The tiny --?” He let out the world’s manliest screech as his eyes landed on the floating bug horse hybrid thing holy shit no no no no no the sci fi movies didn’t prepare him for this shit.

Kaalki looked a little offended but then her eyes landed on the baby and she gasped. “Aw, baby humans are always so cute.”

“Great, Kaalki, you take it,” said Ladybug.

Kaalki did try, to her credit. It just so happened that the approximately one-year-old baby was a lot bigger than the… whatever she was. Tim was refusing to believe that this was a god. Too many implications. He already had something to have a breakdown over, he didn’t need another thing right now, thank you very much.

Tim rested his head in his hands but he had more things to worry about than the blood that he was accidentally streaking through his hair.

“Okay. Okay. We can go to another dimension and try and raise him. Maybe we can make it have a ratio of one month here for every year there so any differences could be blamed on that.”

“Ya!” Said baby Damian. He probably didn’t actually know what was going on but he sure seemed excited so that was cool.

Ladybug sighed and nodded. “Great. You get food and money and clothes and I’ll take this lady to the cops… and I guess I’ll watch the kid until you get back because your dad cannot know.”

They shook on it.

~

This may be the dumbest idea that she’d ever had, and that was saying something. She didn’t know if she could trust Red Robin on this one, they hardly ever worked together. What if he just left her alone with this kid and let her try and figure this out on her own?

No. He wouldn’t do that. He was the last person known to be with Robin. Robin going missing would be bad for him, too. And, besides, she was pretty sure that he was a duty-driven person based on what she’d heard, she just had to hope that he saw this as his duty, too.

She turned the baby in her arms to get more comfortable as she waited for him to (hopefully) come back.

Part of her wanted to try and find someone from this world to reverse this but she didn’t know any outside of her, Adrien, Alix, and (now) Red Robin. Not on a personal level. Not enough that she knew for sure that they wouldn’t blab to Batman about it.

So, no, this is what she was doing.

But she had things to do. So, she pulled out her yoyo-phone-hybrid-thingy and wedged it against her ear.

“Chaton,” she said the moment he picked up. “You’re alone, right?”

“Uh… yeah?”

“Great. I, Ladybug, relinquish the Miracle Box and name Chat Noir the new guardian.”

“WHAT --?!” He didn’t get to finish as a box dropped on his lap and knocked the wind out of him.

“Just for, like, a year and a half. Sorry. Bye!”

“DON’T JUST ‘BYE’ ME WHAT THE --?!”

She hung up and closed the yoyo, hooking it back to her belt and ignoring it when it started buzzing again.

She looked down at Robin, who was squinting up at her. She returned the squint. Why was this baby so quiet? She didn’t get it. Surely, he should have been crying at this point.

“Do you still… remember things?” She asked, hoping against all hope that maybe he had retained his memories at the very least.

Robin smiled at her, but it was the blank-eyed baby smile that meant he wasn’t really understanding her. She bit down a curse.

Great. So, she’d not only gotten a baby but she’d gotten a fucking weird one. Great.

~

Tim left a note for his family saying that he, Damian, and Ladybug were bored and were going dimension hopping. His family would probably be suspicious but, hey, at least it wouldn’t be his problem for a good fifteen years on his end.

And, yeah, he knew this was probably one of his dumber plans but… it wasn’t the dumbest. And he was always one to commit when it came down to it. One time he had faked being shot and dealt with crutches for an entire year just to convince Vicki Vale that he wasn’t Red Robin. He had no fears that he couldn’t see this through.

Ladybug, though? A total mystery. She did nearly everything on a whim as far as he knew. She hopped from city to city fighting crime for absolutely no reason outside of boredom and made up all of her plans on the fly. No, he was a bit concerned about her ability to keep doing it.

So, he went as quickly as he possibly could. There was no rhyme or reason to what he was grabbing. He was just… putting stuff in there. There was money and three watches to help them move between dimensions, yes, but there was also a fanta orange and a copy of Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy and exactly seven pairs of socks.

… yeah, he had the necessities. Probably.

He nearly got out the door before he realized he was still in his crime-fighting gear and he quickly shucked it all off and tossed it into the tub so the blood wouldn’t track any more than it already had. He did not need to avoid Batman’s wrath only to end up on the receiving end of Alfred’s.

He pulled on the first hoodie and jeans he could grab and looked around to make sure he hadn’t left anything of importance.

Okay. Now he was ready to go.

~

Marinette was awkwardly bouncing the baby when Red Robin finally showed up.

… not that she would have recognized him if she hadn’t felt Kaalki hovering in his pocket. In her eyes, he was just a random white guy wearing shades in the middle of the night.

She glanced up at him and gave him an awkward smile.

“Ready?”

He smiled back and held out two watches. Neither fit baby Robin so she prepared herself to choke out a literal baby holy fuck what even was her life.

“Which dimension should we go to?”

“Preferably one without miraculi,” Marinette said. “I don’t want to know what happens if there’s two of the same god in a dimension.”

He nodded slowly. “Probably best if Batman doesn’t exist, either, he’d probably notice my existence.”

“... so… no heroes at all?”

“Looks like we’re going cold turkey,” Red Robin said in a tone that was probably supposed to be joking but just came out flat.

She pushed herself to her feet and waited as he scrolled through the millions of dimensions.

Finally, he came upon one and she added the coordinates to her and Robin’s watches.

She readied Robin’s watch against his neck and tried to ignore the kid’s sudden squirminess.

“3… 2… 1…”

They were gone in a whirl of blue light.

~~~~~

Next

@nathleigh @peachmuses

#yes i wrote timari parenting dami #for no reason #while in the middle of a completely different fic #but listen #... its cute?? #yeah no i have no excuse #i just wanted to write cute things ;-; #into the unkown #maribat #timari #timmari #timinette #shutterbug #tim drake #red robin #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug

[therealvinelle]

Speaking of Renata's place being at Aro's side, that's something that struck me as interesting about your fic. There was a passage suggesting that Renata was frequently in Aro's study with him and Carlisle, not because she felt Carlisle was a threat, just because that's where she feels she belongs. And judging by the fact that Aro didn't send her away, it appears he agrees. Can you elaborate on that? Of course when he leaves the castle she's necessary for protecting him, but the way she stays around in other contexts seems more about their bond, their personal relationship. How did that develop? Was this inclination to be close to him instantaneous from the moment she joined their ranks or is it something that developed gradually? Does it stem from some subconscious anxiety and desire to guard him at all times, or does she genuinely just like being in his presence? And if that's the case, is that feeling mutual? Not the protectiveness, obviously, it's her role to protect him and prioritise his safety over hers if needs be, but the fondness. Does he care for her and enjoy her company the way she does or is he more sensitive to the boundaries between them? Also, it seems she's very content to just fade into the background and not be included in conversations when someone else is present; do they converse frequently (about non-work stuff) or are they more the companionable silence types?

(Ok wow that's a long ask. Sorry for bombarding you with these questions lol, I'm just really interested about your thoughts on these two.)

So sorry about the late answer! Since this was more of a question for my fic Nebuchadnezzar’s Dream, and the upcoming chapter is a Renata chapter, I figured I’d put this on hold until I’d written that. Well, turns out this tumblr account sucks up all my free time, so that chapter took forever and now your ask has been stewing for a month.

With that in mind, the chapter is now out, have this meta that’s 80% conjecture and gut feeling:

How did that develop?

Meyer states in the Guide that Renata would give her life for Aro. That’s past loyal body guard territory, that’s something more intense.

Considering my thoughts on how Renata and Makenna’s uncle Luca sounds like a creep, and the horrifying implications of that (how much of a choice does Renata’s family really have in this situation? If they asked Luca to leave, would he leave these humans he’s devoted himself to obsessing over? Does he even see these humans as people, or are they collector’s items, or exotic pets? Just... that whole story, and knowing how awful Twilight vampires are, I don’t buy into wholesome family man Luca, AT ALL), then Aro coming along to pluck Renata from Luca’s clutches takes on a very different meaning. He didn’t just adopt a random vampire from her coven to become a Volturi, he rescued her from this awful, abusive, situation.

In other words, I’ll never know how Meyer wrote that Renata is so fiercely, wholeheartedly protective of Aro without intending this, because it’s the only thing I can see.

Going forwards from that, Aro seems to be a very pleasant person to be around. I headcanon that he’s the one she’s closest to in Volterra, in part because I can’t see how anyone could top Aro in Renata’s eyes. She owes it all to him, and Chelsea would make that bond even stronger.

With that in mind, I do think she was probably terrified of the Volturi at the very beginning. Luca would have told her about them, about how they would come murder her family, Luca, and herself if she broke their laws. Having their leader come knocking, then, to take her away from everything she’s ever known would not look like salvation at all, it would be a “Guess my life could get worse. Who knew :/” moment of despair.

I can’t know what her early days in the Volturi were like, though in my fic I put it down as Luca gaslighting her about what her gift was, and Aro earning her trust by telling her the truth and giving her glorious purpose. Which is one way for things to go, I can also see Aro cutting a corner with Chelsea to get past Renata’s initial fear and distrust of this stranger, then once she views him as a positive figure she becomes thrilled to no longer have to live with Luca anymore.

Either way, I imagine she became superglue pretty early on. What Aro did for her was powerful stuff, he wouldn’t need to prove himself beyond that.

is that feeling mutual?

As for Aro, I imagine it’s rather less intense on his end, more a paternal fondness. It’s hard not to be won over by someone who’s as devoted as Renata is to him, it becomes personal. Plus, for someone in his position, being able to trust someone completely, to know that this person would give anything for your safety... yeah, powerful shit.

There’s also the matter that before Renata, I imagine Aro's life, for lack of a better term, sucked. There’s no one in the vampire world more people want dead than he, especially not in those early days. Jane and Alec have their hands full enforcing the law, they can’t be sitting in Volterra all day making sure he doesn’t die. Aro could certainly forget about leaving Volterra, he’d be too exposed. Renata changed all that. He has reason to be deeply grateful to her.

As for boundaries... perhaps this is the person who desperately wants an Aro & Renata buddy comedy show inside me talking, but a body guard like Renata, one who required physical contact at all times and who cares deeply... while I don’t think the Volturi are without boundaries, and Aro is still her master, I do think they’re not as clearly defined as they would be with, say, Caius and Felix. Renata’s role in the guard makes her something more intimate, much as I imagine it does Corin.

do they converse frequently (about non-work stuff) or are they more the companionable silence types?

Someone as trusted as Renata, a person wholly devoted to Aro, whose purpose is to stand by his side... Aro seems a very chatty person overall, I imagine there is a lot of thinking aloud and general chattering with Renata around, with her contributing to the conversation by poking him. (Which differs from the others in that most of the guard are out on missions and their job isn’t to hang around Aro, Renata’s is, and Caius doesn’t want to hear it (hears it anyway), Marcus craves the sweet release of death (Aro talks at him anyway). Really, it’s gonna be Renata who has both time for this, and doesn’t leave the room when Aro starts Abe Simpson-ing.)

Overall, I think Aro and Renata’s relationship is one of the closest among all the Volturi. He did something amazing for her, she did something amazing for him, now her purpose is to stand by his side.

And best of all, it’s not sexual. It could have been a gross draculina thing, it’s not, and I’m so grateful for that. One of the things Meyer did very right.

#it's really something to write a chapter i know is pretty much tailored to what a reader specifically wants #great feeling #renata #luca #aro #volturi #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #runasyoulike #ask #long post

[tobiosmilktea]

the love club — miya atsumu

ten: eye for an eye

masterlist | prev. | next

a/n: i haven’t written anything in ages so my writing is trash rn, but hopefully atsumu and y/n being cute will make up for not updating two days ago 👉🏻👈🏻

you could’ve sworn you had told atsumu to come exactly at 6:30 pm, sharp. any later, you would’ve left the cafe the moment your shift ended without a single text to inform him that your patience was waning. you figured that was most likely going to happen considering a little birdy told you that inarizaki’s volleyball team was going through their hell week as nationals was just around the corner.

at least, that’s what you thought was going to happen.

if anything, miya atsumu himself arrived thirty minutes before the time given to him. it was enough to cease your stirring suspicions of him being late and a good enough excuse not to see his smug face, but the unfortunate tides have come across and drenched you in ill-fate—all gross and a bit powdery too at this point.

“there’s a handsome boy waiting outside for you, (y/n).” matsui-sensei, the owner and head baker of pink elephant cafe, not to mention your boss announced as he barged into the kitchen, all loud and boisterous.

despite being nearing his thirties, your boss still acted childish from time to time as there was an notion of implicate suspicions in his tone with that smirk he wore on his lips, his imagination running wild as a boy never really asked for one of his best bakers (not to mention the prettiest) attention before.

you swiftly hid your phone in the back pocket of your jeans as you let out a sigh, “tell him i’m not here.”

“it’s a bit too late for that,” says matsui, adjusting the red bandanna tied around his forehead to pull back his growing black curls and to catch his sweat. “he told me that your meeting with him was important so i said him that i’m letting you off your shift early.”

“why the hell would you do that?” your voice raised a few octaves, but hopefully not enough to travel through the kitchen doors and into the bakery.

matsui held his hands up in defensive and he throw you a playful smile, “listen, i think i’m doing  you a favor, kid, considering that i’m pretty sure you haven’t even had a boyfriend yet.”

your eyebrows furrow in annoyance as you threw the rag you were using to clean the tables at your boss, yet he caught it before it could slap him straight on the face. “what makes you think this guy’s gonna ask me out, we’re literally just working on a project together.”

“trust me, (y/n), my intuition’s ringing.”

“unbelievable,” you scoff and you roll your eyes again.

“seriously though,” he continues as you make your way towards one of the blast ovens. the sweet aroma of blueberry muffins swiftly greeted your senses as you pulled it out with your mitted-hand, “you literally run a love advice hotline and never been in a relationship. don’t you think that’s a bit weird?”

you let the question simmer a bit as you didn’t bother to let the tray of muffins cool the full five minutes and you immediately attempted to pull them out of their metal molds. “not as weird as a grown ass man asking a couple of teenagers love advice.” you shot back, recalling how just over a year ago matsui had found out your other job.

the story was quite the funny one, actually, but long story short—you had forgotten to turn off the love club notifications during work and being the nosy boss he was, he ended up seeing his instagram handle right on your phone screen. there was certainly no way of excusing yourself from it as you ended up telling him everything. in the end, he didn’t mind as he was now engaged.

“hey!” his exclaimed, distracting you from carefully pulling out the muffins as you hissed out in pain. the tips of your fingers burned from the scorching heat of the freshly baked tray, appearing crimson and sore to the touch. matsui was too caught up in making a snarky comeback to even notice your quiet yelp of pain. “we don’t allow slander in this establishment, kid, now go before i fire you.”

you snort playfully at his words and you untied your flour-coated apron, hanging it up on one of the hooks near the doors before leaving the kitchen and into the bakery.

a deep sigh left your lips as you gently apologized for almost bumping into one of your coworkers who was making their way to get a customers order. the cafe wasn’t too busy, but was lively enough to certainly keep the employees on their toes. you almost felt bad for leaving your shift so early.

your eyes scanned the array of tables and chairs with slight fatigue before they landed on a familiar boy’s obnoxious blonde.

his broad back was towards you as he was slightly hunched over, probably from texting. you made your way over to him as you spoke over his shoulder, “you’re here early.” your tone was flat and uninterested as you watched his eyes widened the moment he met your gaze.

“hi,” was all he could say as you sat across from him.

you let out a huff as there was a stupid look on his face to which filled you with the urge to just deck him right on the nose to wipe that expression off his face, and yet, the feeling was suddenly replaced with a feeling too foreign for you to identify as he smiled a toothy grin at you.

oh god, help me now.

in the end, you and atsumu had actually gotten a lot of work done in two hours. considering that you were just a conclusion away from finishing, you were genuinely surprised you only had three urges to fight this man the entire time.

you supposed it was the way atsumu almost seemed like he was in a rush, a mere kick in his step as he started typing away at his document in speed. it almost left your mouth gaping and your eyebrows furrowing in confusion how well this man multi-tasked from doing his work while maintaining a conversation with you. granted, they were quite the strange topics from who would die in a zombie apocalypse first (to which you said that you’d feed atsumu to the zombies in a heart beat) then jumping straight into both of your plans in the future after graduation.

as you two took in each other’s entertaining quips of stories and random tidbits that for once, you found yourself enjoying atsumu’s company rather than hating each waking moment of it.

but, you were obviously known for not being the most talkative in terms of your lack of wanting to overshare information about yourself that would most likely turn into some kind of self-imposed altercation. you simply sat there, adding small grunts of agreements, surprised gestures, and the occasional witty retort to match atsumu’s playful behavior.

some time along those two hours, matsui came by and dropped off a bowl of berries by your table that atsumu liked to steal. he would think that his quick hands would go unnoticed as he swiftly snatched at your snacks, but unfortunately for him, it’s as if he hadn’t known that you did in fact notice.

there was only two berries left in the bowl and knowing atsumu’s greedy ass, you gently placed your hand to rest on the brim of the bowl, waiting a few beats to past for atsumu to reach his hand out again only for you reach out at the same time.

“dude!” the setter exclaimed as you grabbed the last ones, “not fair, (y/n).”

you could only hold yourself back from a melting smirk as you only popped one of them in your mouth, “stealing the majority of the food is rude, miya.”

“as if getting them before i could is any better,” he retaliated. 

a breathy chuckle had escaped your lips as you held out to last berry for him to take. it was the one time you were actually going to be nice to this guy and yet he hesitated to even take it the moment his gaze fell upon your extended hand.

“are you gonna take it or not?” you say with a bit more authority.

however, you were immediately taken aback and atsumu grabbed your wrist and pulled it closer. the berry in the palm of your hand had fallen back into the bowl below as the boy before you looked at your red fingers. “did you burn yourself?” he asked gently, slight worry washing over his eyes as his gaze flickered back towards you.

you snatched your hand back from him as you shook your head, “it’s nothing.” you answer, taking your attention back towards the project in attempt to ignore the fact that your heart was suddenly racing much faster than before. you literally refused to meet atsumu’s eyes as you could feel the heat rushing towards your cheeks. having him see your slightly burned fingers was already embarrassing enough, seeing your tinted red cheeks wouldn’t have helped either.

your gaze that was locked onto your assignment swiftly flickered back towards him as you heard atsumu shuffle through his backpack to pull out a couple bandages. “i know it’s not much to help burns, but these bandages should at least protect them for the time being.”

three strips were slipped towards you as his a saccharine-sweet smile melted upon his visage. taking his offer, you took and placed one bandage at a time, slightly struggling with each finger until atsumu took the pleasure of helping you on the last one.

you felt your breath hitch in your throat as you noticed how his hands were great in size compared to yours. and despite being a volleyball player and assuming his hands would be rough and a bit calloused, they were much softer than you could’ve imagined.

perhaps you hated the way your urge to punch the living daylights out of atsumu suddenly morphed into a heart beat punching the living daylights out of your ribcage.

“thanks for the last berry, (y/n).” he muttered as his hands left yours and popped the last piece of fruit in his mouth.

oh god, please help me now.

fun facts! —

matsui is a family friend so he had known y/n since she was a kid. he ended up hiring her the moment she turned 15 (they even have a handshake cause they’re homies)

akaashi, kenma, and tanaka have never actually been to pink elephant cafe and they’ve been trying to visit for the longest time

taglist: (closed)

@kitsunetea @bftsukki @gyubit17 @ushijimasbb @alyssasteaparty @angsty-microwave @pleasemelafook-outta-ere @katsuhoee @dinonerdsimp @kenchiko @sakusakymi @deimmortales99 @nerumiz @evphology @of-heroes-and-dreams @noeminemi @chaelysian @lunebiscuit @hanbinplanet @it-me-720 @differentballooncollection @iwaizluv @90s-belladonna @terushimasbitch @apollochjld @shephard17895 @tremendousglitterthing @kara-grayson04 @clowninfortodoroki @gra-hamcrackers @bloomkings @highlyanxiousintroverted @verymuchbabey @miyaosamoo @achly @randomidksomeone @newborn-weeb @mx-minxx @callums-keith @lumiriai @unstableye @lovedanii @kritiiiii @ushisama @kitakure @gaychemicalwater @akakuzumo @noiramor @tsumu-core @stardustanni @ikemenweebo (continued in the commented)

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu smau #haikyuu x reader #atsumu miya #atsumu x reader #hq atsumu #atsumu smau #atsumu headcanons #atsumu scenarios #atsumu imagines #miya atsumu #atsumu fluff

[seyaryminamoto]

my school works are piled up this past few weeks (graduating tingz) and i just started reading the deadlock novel it feels like i'm reading a sokkla fic every time Mcashe has a scene because they just give off the vibes skskskskksksks. BTW, what's your top5 fav scenes from the novel? PS: I'm smiling like an idiot while reading the novel ughh i hate myself

I KNOW, RIIIIIGHT?! *-* and don't hate yourself, my anon friend, I spent the whole novel smiling and laughing and losing my goddamn mind because I was having the time of my life xD enjoy this beautiful content as best you can!

I mean, frankly, Reunion already had all the Sokkla vibes I could've wanted/needed to ship these two like FedEx and I always knew I wasn't getting off this ride anytime soon. But gosh, this book... it gave me everything I wanted and MORE! Their dynamics are soooo similar to Sokkla team-up dynamics, two power couples kicking ass and taking names... oh, I just love it so much. I probably will end up reading the book a third time soon x'D

As for my favorite scenes, damn, this is tricky xD

KEYCHAIN! HE MADE HER KEYCHAIN!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! God, it's just amazing how the book explains the "vintage" look for Ashe's hoverbike the way it does, and that they literally built it together *screams!!!*, but then he gives her that keychain for her birthday present, and the implications!! THE IMPLICATIONS!!! He gave her a keychain she's held onto for TWENTY YEARS?!?!?! Ships in the OW fandom have sailed far and wide with less than breadcrumbs: we literally have been granted a boon from the GODS with all this extra context for the little things in Reunion xD

Ashe going to hell and back to save her kidnapped BFF-for-whom-she-totally-doesn't-have-feelings-yeah-yeah-sure-Jan. I love the fact that McCree is, in a way, Ashe's damsel in distress and not the other way around xD Of course, it's what you'd expect from an Ashe-centric story, but it's still an amazing sequence, all around. Gotta highlight how she loves the way he smiles like a madman when they have that shootout at the end, and how he worries so much over Ashe's injury when he took an even worse one than she did (the Sokkla vibes in that particular situation were SO STRONG! I SWEAR!).

"Jesse McCree, are you trying to make me say you're handsome?" "Am I?" ... do I need to say more. That FLIRTING. These two were on fire already and they'd only known each other for like... weeks, at this point? x'D He has no sense of moderation, he's soooo into her and doesn't hide it at all. Ashe is so busy trying to plot all the crime and Jesse's practically like a shojo heroine, "oh I can feel it, this is how my love story begins!", basically xD

Finally I pick a not-McAshe scene... to bring up the one where Ashe picks up the Viper on her last moment in Lead Rose Manor. That moment was just... POWERFUL. The feeling of epicness in that scene just overwhelmed me when I was reading it xD

The ending of the book :'D the fully formed Deadlock Gang ready for business, down to the explanation for the Est. 1976 in the logo... *sobs* the fact that so much about the character design choices in these two characters is a shoutout to the past they share is just... *gross sobbing* oh, I just love it to pieces, I'm not even sorry.

Ashe's bike race to save B.O.B. x'D that whole situation was bonkers but I looooved how fierce she was about protecting her one and only buddy while growing up (AND THAT JESSE BLUSHED WHEN SHE TAUNTED HIM WAS JUST THE CHERRY ON TOP!). I appreciated learning more about the Omnic War and its consequences, how Ashe reflects on having escaped it practically untouched in virtue of her money and societal privilege while her new friends all faced many hardships to survive. But I can't help but also love that, however uneasy others could have been about the Best Omnic Butler, Ashe was so fiercely loyal to B.O.B. that she nearly broke Julian's nose herself over his ridiculousness x'D That's HER big omnic buddy and she's not about to lose him to anyone, not her shitty parents, not a bet in a race, NOTHING! (and it's so cute that B.O.B. is just as loyal to her, too *sobs*)

Ashe grabbing McCree's arm to explain things to him on their first heist and him being all "you gonna leave that there?" and only then does she realize her hand's still on him x'D what a McCree line, and he was absolutely enjoying the attention, he doesn't even pretend otherwise.

Everything poetic McCree says or does... meanwhile Ashe's like "um yeah I don't care about poetry I want money", right until his poet soul totally smashes her square in the heart with the KEYCHAIN!!! But damn, I swear I thought McCree would hold back a lot more, and yet there he was, saying things like Calamity was brilliant and mysterious... you could practically hear B.O.B., Julian and Frankie going "I can see what's happening..." in the background xD

The conversation about what they wanted to do once they were loaded with all the cash they could possibly want. That one was a real number on my heartstrings. It ties up to what I said earlier with Ashe finally being in touch with people who are completely removed from the ridiculous social circles of her parents and her school, people who really lost a lot in the war. But where Julian and Frankie seem to look at the past a lot, I loved that Jesse is basically just thinking about the future. The fact that he says he wants to chill out in a farm and that this is what he wants in life... many, MANY, shippy wheels have turned in my head since I read that <.< maaaany...

WHEN JESSE NEARLY FALLS AND ASHE CATCHES HIM!!! UNDERRRATED AS HECK!!! The fact that he's taunting her about fear of heights, then he nearly plummets to his death because ironies are beautiful xD and Ashe pulls him back to safety only to say that she's not afraid of heights but afraid of ~FALLING~??? I mean, okay, sure, maybe I'm reading too much into that line... or maybe I'm not <.< either way, the truth is I just love how absolutely broad of interpretation that scene and that DIALOGUE are :> ehehehe.

Oh, their first encounter. The fact that it's so cute and fun, and that it's this low in the list tells you how GOOD this book was x'D "You've got an awful lot of grit for a rich girl," first words he spoke to the love of his life xD then how they talked and laughed together about the crazy stories he shared (she was crying of laughter for the first time in her life! precious girl!), and then how she sat in the car thinking about the strange feeling she was left with after meeting him... they seriously had a meetcute in prison, how can a ship get any better? xD

WHEN HE COMES BACK TO HER WHEN THEIR FIRST HEIST GOES WRONG!!! That Ashe expects him to just leave after she falls off their getaway vehicle, but Jesse saves her and goes "pfft that's just not my style", basically... *sobs* without realizing it she ends up picking up that particular philosophy of his, saving her friends no matter the cost...! Honestly, though, the fact that every time something like this happens it hits Ashe like a truck racing downhill with no brakes because she's NEVER been cared about by anyone but B.O.B. and she's completely new to friendships and bonding with people... and in the mean time, Jesse immediately is "ride or die" with her because that's how he rolls... beautiful relationship dynamics between characters who influence each other for the better are just beautiful :')

A silly one here: Jesse enjoying the good life in Lead Rose. That description of him looking like a marshmallow in the CHAISE LOUNGEEEEE!!! (the one he references in their in-game interactions *CRYING SO MANY TEARS*), was just too cute to bear x'D Ashe just jumping back into work mode... while he was just thrilled to be a marshmallow in a towel xD

... So, um, I went overboard because I love this book a little too much for my own good :> what can I say? When things I love are good, I go wild xD There's probably more scenes I loved, but these... thirteen? XD are the ones that came to mind.

I think one of my favorite things now is reexamining Reunion with all this extra context in mind. The first time I watched that cinematic I, of course, fell in love with these two outlaws because how could I not? But while subsequent rewatches revealed a lot of things I didn't pay enough attention to the first time around, the book has done even more than I could imagine possible for a short that was already as shippy as could be xD

Ooookay so, shippy ramblings about Reunion, coming up! (simply because I have to put these down SOMEWHERE XD and your ask was a good idea for that, anon!)

First off, Jesse very much staged the whole rodeo in Reunion. He sent the tip to Ashe, he wanted Echo's crate specifically. He thought they could work together, basically, despite knowing it was entirely possible that those hopes wouldn't pay off. This train, according to the wikia, was a government train, so Jesse is very much telling Ashe to give a finger to the government for all he cares, all he wants is one (1) crate.

Ergo, Jesse, for all his "nice guy bountyhunter" deal, doesn't disapprove of Deadlock's actions. If anything, he counts on them to be exactly what he needs in order to get what he wants. He practically trusts Ashe to pull off the train heist disaster perfectly and only steps up when it's time to collect Echo.

Then the wacky shoot-out happens, it's veeeery charged (the UST is so thick, I swear...), and Jesse wins. He ties up Ashe, floats her off on the payload with the rest of the gang, and he sets Echo free. He's helping her out very nicely and everything, but the context in question is... he received the recall notification thingy XD Winston called him back to Overwatch, and Jesse...

... Jesse doesn't want to go back.

Jesse says "they want me", and the displeased tone of his voice, paired with the look on his face when he says that line, speak for themselves.

That, in my humble opinion, isn't the sequence of expressions you'd expect from someone who intends to return to the group where he thrived, had the time of his life and found his true calling. To me, he actually looks irritated about the recall (the sequence of expressions during that line is much better when you watch the full thing x'D), as though he REALLY doesn't want to return. He's not against Overwatch, I'm not quite saying that, otherwise he wouldn't have set Echo free and told her to go back at all... but this isn't remorse. It's not "Oh, I'm not good enough for Overwatch anymore". Nope... this is "My time with them is over and I don't plan on going back unless I have no choice", as far as I can tell.

If OW2 does bring him back into the fold and he's a perfectly chill and happy guy about it, I'll seriously be surprised. I mean, he could have set Echo free and, once his business is over, returned to Overwatch with her, he could have been in the Paris cinematic if he'd done that...

But he's not there.

Which outright says he didn't do that :> oops.

Basically, I think Jesse's reaction in Retribution (where he's markedly the most morally correct one of the bunch, and he's the former outlaw :'D) tells you his displeasure with Overwatch ran very, very deep. And someone can very easily say he felt the same way about Deadlock and that's why he left them for Overwatch... but that's conjecture. His displeasure with Blackwatch (and, in consequence, Overwatch), however, is FACT. And the previous conjecture falls flat pretty quickly considering he's perfectly fine with Ashe's train heist, even sets it up himself, from what the story suggests, so... how ~appalled~ was he over her choices and actions? Not appalled at all, if you ask me, and after you read Deadlock Rebels, you actually understand why: Jesse trusts Ashe.

From the first moment she enters the same prison block he's in, he's drawn to her. He wants to impress her, he absolutely enjoys her company and making her laugh (just as much as she enjoyed laughing at his wacky stories), and he's plain thrilled that she comes back for him when she does. Ashe manages the gang with inexperience but she's always willing to improve, and you see Jesse sticking with her through thick and thin, supporting her at the best and worst times alike, always putting his faith on her and constantly watching out for her (he protected and shielded her from attacks with his own body sooooo many times *sobs*). Ashe starts out intending to keep most profits for herself, and Jesse doesn't care much at first... but then she starts to share profit equally between their team. She works on her own bike herself, her own ride, and she plans and solves problems as best she can, to a point of even going overboard with planning too much. She's wild, reckless and takes insane risks... and this guy loves every second of it. The matter of morality regarding the actions of a criminal gang is, of course, something to think about... but as far as the book goes, Ashe mainly targets her own family, their specific brand of bullshit, and in the process she ends up helping lots of people and even saving lives that might not have been saved otherwise. I'm not going to put my hand on the fire here and say Deadlock never ever did anything absolutely wrong to people who didn't deserve it... but for a criminal gang? They're honestly the most wholesome one the OW team could have come up with, if you ask me.

So where you see Jesse is very much antagonistic with Reaper/Reyes, where he loses his temper with the guy's choices, he doesn't ever do that with Ashe. Overwatch ARE supposed to be the good guys... so how weird that Jesse McCree, reformed outlaw, ends up so disappointed with these guys when he was actually thrilled with Ashe's managing of their gang, as far as we saw. So much so that, when it came down to it, Jesse McCree, 20 years later, still counts on Ashe to give him a hand (without her full awareness) with a little operation to help out an old friend of his. Also worth pointing out: he doesn't want to fight at all, while Ashe, of course, does. Deadlock for life, is what Jesse said... and he's not Deadlock anymore, hasn't been for who knows how long. Worse yet... his tattooed arm is gone. It's like all his ties to Deadlock have been severed.

And even so, he came to Ashe and hoped she wouldn't want a shootout with him. Even when he knows she might be beyond unforgiving because of the betrayal (he has seen directly how outraged she was about a certain someone betraying her in the book...), Jesse goes back anyway and hopes it won't come to this.

THE IMPLICATIONS, MAN!!!

Carrying on: Echo is surprised that Jesse shows no intentions of going back to Overwatch. She asks him what he's going to do... and what does Jesse say?

He puts his cowboy hat back on (the symbolism in this short, I swear...), and when she asks him what he's going to do, he tells her "I've got some business to attend to."

THE MUSIC PICKS UP.

AND THEN HE CLIMBS ON THE BIKE HE BUILT WITH ASHE.

YOU GET A DELIBERATE CLOSE-UP TO THE KEYCHAIN.

THEN THE CAMERA PANS UP TO FOCUS ON THE PICTURE, TORN AND TAPED BACK TOGETHER, THAT ASHE CARRIES ON THIS BIKE, A BIKE WHICH, LET'S BE REAL, IS BASICALLY A MCASHE BABY CHOPPER/HOVERBIKE HYBRID, AND AS SHE PUTS IT LATER, IS...

HER

BIKE!!!

When Jesse says he has business to attend to, he could pick up any bike he wants (since it'd stand to reason that the other guys Ashe came in with would have bikes of their own). He could escape on horseback for all we know xD so there are lots of options... but no. He takes HERS. Right after saying he has "business to attend to".

Look, I could be wrong. I could be dead wrong. I can absolutely be digging around and going INSANE because nothing I ship EVER gets this much content.

But we literally get a guy saying he has "business" to take care of, and the cinematic focuses exclusively on elements that, even BEFORE Deadlock Rebels, all point towards Ashe?! You could easily say that taking her bike is just the final nail on the coffin, his last trolling idea to mess with his one true love... but that picture is right there. That picture, with them in their youth. The picture, btw, was bigger than just them: B.O.B.'s hand is there. The top of the picture is uneven, suggesting Ashe probably tore it to shreds in a fit of rage... and then specifically put together THEIR PART. And then she taped that to her bike's dashboard. Meaning, she carries the goddamn memory of Jesse with her EVERYWHERE SHE GOES. And she does it WILLINGLY.

Which, in turn, answers why Jesse expects MAYBE Ashe wouldn't go full-on hostile when they meet: this trolling cowboy knows exactly what he means to Ashe. He's not surprised when he sees that picture on the bike. He doesn't toss it away, which he could have, if he were saying "we are history now, forget it gurl" (and let's be honest, what a dick move that would have been @_@), he doesn't flinch after noticing and then goes "yeah, no, I'm picking another bike".

NOPE. The familiarity with which they talk, the way he hopes she'll just let him walk away, the fact that she DIDN'T change the keychain and bike in all those years and he's not even SURPRISED...

Jesse knows how much she loves him, point-blank. He's completely aware of it... and he's very much okay with it.

So much so... that I'm something of a 90% sure that the business he intends to deal with is ASHE HERSELF.

And no, I don't mean he's going to go on another shootout with her... I mean, evidently, that Jesse wants to come home. That he's tried the life of Overwatch, and he's decided to leave it behind. He's turned bountyhunter now, vigilante, pretty much... but he comes back to Ashe all the same. He's come back for the first time in who knows how long (going by Ashe's expressions and sarcasm with the "you promised you'd write" line, it miiiiiiight be they haven't seen each other since he got recruited into Blackwatch), and he expected a peaceful encounter, no less.

A good question to ask here is... what did Jesse hope would happen, if the encounter HAD been peaceful? He would've released Echo, sent her away to her business, and stayed behind anyway because he had business to deal with. Which business? :'D why... the business that would've been standing right in front of him.

There's no other, logical reason why this cinematic would put Ashe and McCree's picture into focus right when McCree says what he does to Echo. There's no other reasonable choice why McCree would turn his back on Overwatch quite so firmly. We know he had two important ties in his life: Overwatch and Deadlock. And Overwatch stole him away from Deadlock for a VERY long time. Well over half the time Deadlock has been in operations, as far as I can tell. He picked Overwatch over Deadlock once before... and now, it seems he's picking Deadlock over Overwatch instead :')

The follow-up short, Roadtrip, doesn't do anything to change my mind. The trolling jerk, Jesse McCree, hovers past Ashe's payload, where she's just... complaining, as she hovers xD going by what I know of the game and that map, the payload may just be en route to the gang's hideout, so that, I'd say, could explain why she hasn't climbed off it or escaped in any way (which she reasonably would have, if Jesse was trying to, I don't know, send her and her people to the authorities).

My point here is, however, that Jesse is headed the same way the payload is. If his destination is the same one, he'll beat it there for sure. Maybe, yes, he'll go away and drive well past the hideout... but maybe that's exactly where he intended to go.

Maybe, in the end, Reunion is about a man who's finally coming home :D

In addition, goes without saying, Ashe's rant about how everyone falls to pieces over Jesse showing his "stupid mug" (uh-huh, stupid, ANGELIC mug, we know what you really think, girl xD) ends with her saying she should have "put a bullet in him the minute he showed up".

Which begs the question of why didn't she.

Then, of course, she says she hates McCree when he drives past her while listening to some really ridiculous honky-tonky-sounding music x'D I cannot even help but imagine him deliberately picking that radio station or whatever it was just to annoy Ashe when he drove beside her, and so that she can get extra pissed when she retrieves her beloved bike, turns on the music and it's just more honky-tonky stuff x'D but anyway, the thing is she shouts after him, tells him that's her bike and says she hates him. B.O.B. wordlessly speaks for us McAshe shippers by giving Ashe the most "sure, Jan" side-eye in the history of side-eyes, and Ashe notices and is outraged enough to knock B.O.B.'s little hat right off his head again.

Again... this is renowned outlaw Elizabeth Caledonia "Calamity" Ashe, sitting on a payload, groaning about the guy she once very much had feelings for (and that doesn't even begin to cut it, if you ask me x'D) and for whom she tooooootally doesn't anymore, that picture on her bike doesn't MEAN that, OBVIOUSLYYYY!!, and so, she sits up, complains and doesn't do much of anything to get out of her current situation, right? :>

So, summing up my current understanding of EVERYTHING, thanks to Deadlock Rebels and my obsessive rewatches of Reunion + Roadtrip:

Jesse deliberately sought out Ashe so she would indirectly, unknowingly, help him set Echo free from the government's clutches.

Jesse hoped for a peaceful encounter despite knowing he might not get one.

Jesse has no intentions of returning to Overwatch but was willing to perform one final act of service for them by releasing Echo so she'd go give Winston and co. a hand.

Jesse is NOT surprised to see that Ashe: 1. Didn't change bikes at some point in the twenty years since they built it. 2. Didn't swap the ignition key for a button, the way she says she thought to do it in the novel until he gives her the keychain. 3. KEPT THE POETIC AF KEYCHAIN, despite resenting Jesse for his betrayal. 4. KEEPS A PICTURE OF THEM IN THEIR YOUNGER YEARS PASTED ON HER BIKE'S DASHBOARD.

Jesse claims he has business to deal with: he doesn't clarify said business verbally, but every shot after he says those words focuses on elements related to Ashe... and then, along with the novel's context, it's elements related to their BOND. Everything in that shot, EVERYTHING, is connected to the two of them. Elements that weren't shown before or during their shootout, and that are only introduced in that final moment when McCree is off to deal with his "business".

Ashe doesn't climb off the payload or stops it (which, going by how McCree simply pressed a button, and Ashe isn't immobilized in the least, she easily could have done it too if she had wanted to). Suggesting that, wherever the payload is heading, it isn't anywhere dangerous for Ashe and her crew, ergo, she is 100% sure McCree isn't trying to screw her over by turning her in to the authorities or so (or, at worst, she's completely confident that, even if he is going to do this, she'll be able to get out of it easily).

Jesse drives in the same direction the payload is headed. Another hint that suggests he might intend to head to the Deadlock hideout and that, whatever business he has left to deal with, it involves them.

If his intent ISN'T to go to the hideout... Jesse is still guaranteeing that Ashe will come after him by stealing her bike, the 18th birthday gift he gave her, and the picture she keeps of them. That he takes that very bike practically serves as painting a target on his back for her to hunt down, and he KNOWS IT.

In short: Jesse will have plenty of business with the Deadlock Gang in his future, and going by how pleased he seems to be when riding the bike, he's perfectly happy to handle that business on his terms, whenever he wants to handle it.

Extra tidbit: there's nothing in Deadlock Rebels about Jesse's smoking habit, something he definitely did pick up at some point while in the gang because, hahaha, he IS smoking in the picture Ashe keeps of him :> Which makes me wonder why, of all pictures Ashe chooses to keep on her bike's dashboard, she picks one where he's smoking.

Then, it makes me wonder about the fact that Jesse deliberately starts smoking when he's standing right in front of her (and then he winks at her!). He tosses that cigar after things get kind of dangerous for him because B.O.B. does something, and then... then he goes back to smoking.

RIGHT WHEN HE'S CLIMBING ON THE BIKE.

Like... seriously...

*unintelligible fangirl screaming*

I could be looking too deeply into this. I know I could be. Maybe Blizzard just wants me to go CRAZY with little symbolism and hints charged with SO MUCH MEANING that maybe don't have as much meaning as I thought it did...

... But man, I've sailed into the depths of the shippiest oceans for many ships that have gotten actual breadcrumbs from canon. I've gone wild over ships that have zero opportunity to become a thing in canon continuity. I've written a nearly 3M words story based on a ship that is just UNEXPLORED AMAZING POTENTIAL and ngl, I love exploring it myself, so I don't even begrudge canon that much for not giving it to me anymore.

But the fact is, no ship in OW, as far as I've seen, has remotely as much content, hints and strong ties as McAshe does -- at least, no ships between heroes. We had a cinematic that was CHARGED with significance, with little gestures, with even the smallest facial expressions that carried soooo much more meaning than whole episodes or even seasons in TV shows. And then? We got a novel. A full novel depicting their origins and exploring their dynamics, how tight their friendship was, and how some strong feelings were certainly brewing there, even if neither one was ready to act on them yet (as far as we saw...).

Finally... I'll say I did start working on a Sokkla Western AU ages ago because the idea I had for one was pretty amusing. Then Reunion dropped, and I said "Why would I need to finish that story anymore when the Sokkla Western AU is RIGHT HERE?!"

And that's it, I will stop rambling now because this got insanely long x'D but thank you very very much for giving me this chance to go WILD on everything I can see, within all those canon hints, with these two *-*

#anon #mcashe #the fact that canon is treating me right for once #is blowing my mind and always will #look I can end up crying in a heap when OW2 drops and we find out that nothing I thought of was real #it's entirely possible #... but we already got so much #SOOOOO MUCH #that I can't even say I'd be mad x'D #I am one happy camper on this ship #and I love them to pieces #I wish I had the time/chance to make all the art I've been inspired to about them *cries ten rivers* #one day... one day

[strangertheory]

"anti-Mileven"

I know you submitted this as a message and not an Ask, but I hope you don't mind if I answer your question with a longer post because this is a topic that is important to me but is complicated. I've meant to do a post about this, but kept putting it off because it is a very layered topic for me and my thoughts about Mileven are probably not what a lot of fans want to hear.

I respect that everyone develops an attachment to their preferred couples in stories for personal reasons, and as such any criticism of the dynamic between two characters that are dating can feel like a very personal criticism. I respect everyone's head-canons and favorite ships as sacred ground: I don't want to tell anyone how they should or should not relate to a story. That's unique to each of us as fans, and we will all enjoy Stranger Things for different reasons.

However: I do have some thoughts regarding the way that the narrative has established the dynamic between Mike and El. And I personally do not find their dynamic *as it currently is* to be one that is ideal for either of them yet.

I really care about Eleven and I really care about Mike. They are two of my favorite characters in the story.

To say that I'm "anti-Mileven" is a huge oversimplification of how I feel about Mike and El's dynamic.

I am very much anti:

overlooking the fact El has been treated as a lab rat and abused and isolated from society for the majority of her existence and her ignorance of her own identity and her own desires is repeatedly reinforced canonically. ("How do I know what I like?") El has spent only a few months out in the world beyond her cell at the lab and beyond Hopper's cabin, she knows very little about the world yet, and she is being taught much of what she now knows by her boyfriend who also happens to be one of the few people she interacts with in her daily life. The power difference and social difference between them is huge currently regardless of whether Mike is a nice kid with good intentions or not, and they are both fourteen years olds.

overlooking that it is superficial and not representative of a "deep" relationship to only kiss and make out with a significant other and not do other meaningful activities that establish a real day-to-day relationship (like hanging out with friends and other loved ones as a couple.) There's a popular misconception that the act of two people kissing is inherently romantic and a sign of emotional closeness. But kissing becomes romantic psychologically when two people share a deep affection for one another that is based on shared experiences and emotional and psychological connectedness. If two characters can be shown to care about one another without ever physically touching, they have the potential for a deep connection that is based on more than the thrill of physical affection. Give me a well-developed relationship first, and then kissing will seem romantic to me. Without an established psychological and emotional connection between characters, kissing is merely a superficial representation of the idea of intimacy between characters without any actual substance underneath. Sure that's what kids do when they're figuring out how dating and feelings and physical intimacy work and it's not harmful in itself provided that they are both comfortable with it, but keep this in mind within the context of the other concerns I list here.

trivializing Mike's dishonesty and blaming Hopper for Mike's lying when the truth is Mike could have easily explained to El that Hopper didn't want them spending as much time together and having some space would be better. El is well aware of Hopper's dislike for their time spent together. This should have been a very easy conversation. As Lucas rightfully asks as Mike is ranting about the situation he got himself into: "Why lie?" Good question, Lucas. Good question. El asks Mike this again later at the mall. "Why do you lie?" Mike stares back at her with an awkward expression, and does NOT answer her. Why is this answer not an easy one? Why has Mike still not addressed things with El? I think there is more going on here than just Hopper's threats.

I am very in favor of:

El learning more about who she is and what she wants to do with her life outside of the desires and expectations of other people.

Mike figuring out how to effectively express his thoughts and feelings honestly. He is clearly struggling to do this throughout season 3, and it is uncharacteristic of the kid who defiantly said and did what he wanted frequently in seasons 1 and 2. Clearly Mike is not comfortable and is nervous, which is understandable for someone exploring new emotionally vulnerable territory like dating for the first time, but he needs to learn to be honest and tell people how he is thinking and feeling or else he is also putting himself and his feelings and needs at risk and potentially establishing an unhealthy relationship that will hurt him and hurt others even if he doesn't mean to. Mike's nervousness is STILL present in the final goodbye scene in which Mike and El talk, and El tells him she loves him and kisses him. He is still stumbling over his words and anxious, and he seems notably confused after El kisses him. These small details are not trivial, they are clearly intentional.

Recognizing that Mike is the first person her age that was kind to El when she escaped the lab, and given that she has only known pain and abuse her entire life and has never known friendship let alone romance that her psychological readiness for understanding a romantic relationship is NOT the same as an ordinary 14 year old's and this cannot be stated enough.

Recognizing that societal pressures and personal insecurities might be a huge factor in how Mike clings to El's attention and affection for him, and that there is evidence in the story that supports this interpretation. We know that Mike is bullied frequently, and that there is a layer of homophobia often involved. (Even if James and Troy were speaking rudely about Will, they were still directly confronting Mike. The implication is there.) We know that Lucas yelled at Mike "No Mike. You're blind. Blind because you like that a girl's not grossed out by you!" This reveals that Lucas knows that Mike is insecure and wants validation. Just because Mike has a desperate desire to be loved and liked by a girl does not mean that his appreciation of El's attention is based on his genuine romantic affection for her. Mike might be dating El because he enjoys the attention, he likes being liked, and he likes how having a girlfriend makes him feel more accepted and normal.

Recognizing that every moment that Mike has tried to share something that he is passionate about with El (the Yoda figurine, the dinosaurs) she has been completely disinterested. Since El has no cultural connection to the pop culture stories Mike loves and she lived in the Lab her entire life, it makes perfect sense that she will have no interest in these toys. Her lack of interest in what Mike is passionate about, however, is worth noting: not because it's a bad thing, but because it's just one of many reasons they are "not even from the same planet" and cannot bond and connect easily. El has lived an incredibly different life from Mike, has suffered through so much, and is still learning about the outside world and about herself. She is severely behind in social and personal development. She needs time to learn and to grow and to heal so she can live her best life and recover from what she has been through. (She doesn't really care about your Star Wars toys, Michael, because she just learned what a phone is and is processing a lot of other things right now.)

*I want to credit @kaypeace21 for pointing out many of these particular observations listed above: you can read her very detailed and extensive analysis in her post here: El is Not in Love with Mike.

These are just a few of many thoughts I have regarding Mike and El's dynamic together, and why I find the romanticization and idealization of their dating relationship to be more suited to fan-canon and fanfiction. For El to have a relationship with Mike that I would personally enjoy and appreciate, the story would need to convincingly allow her to establish a notably better understanding of who she is and what she wants, and have time to heal from her trauma and learn a lot more about the outside world. While I suspect that the Byers moving away will be very difficult for Will, in many ways I think it will benefit El tremendously and I hope that she is given more opportunities to learn and to grow.

I also agree with @hawkinsschoolcounselor 's hypothesis that Mike is projecting his feelings for Will onto El. It's impossible for me to see Mike's dynamic with El as entirely separate from Mike's relationship with Will because El was found in the woods when they were looking for Will in season 1, El helped everyone find Will in the Upside Down and saved his life, and El reappears at the end if season 2 and saves Will from the Mindflayer. Until season 3, El's appearance in Mike's life has been directly tied to Will's survival and safety. I do not think this is a trivial aspect of El's narrative. El's importance within the larger story being told is repeatedly tied back to what Will is dealing with. The reason that El and Will's narratives are so deeply intertwined has not been revealed in the story yet, but I suspect that there are some important aspects of El and Will's stories that haven't been fully revealed yet that will bring all of these seemingly isolated plot threads together. The creators of Stranger Things repeatedly tie El and Will together visually and narratively (re: @kaypeace21), and I believe there is a very specific reason for this.

I look forward to seeing what happens in season 4. Whether my interpretation of El and Mike's dynamic is fair or not, I trust the writers have a compelling next chapter in their story for us all to enjoy.

#anti mileven #antimileven #anti-mileven #stranger things #stranger things theory #but not actually anti mileven I am tagging it that way because I am critical #so fans can choose to not read my thoughts

[invisibleinorange]

Swelter Weather 4/?

Chapters: 4/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: M Warnings: None at this point. Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington,  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics, Marina Thompson/Phillip Crane, Eloise Bridgerton/Phillip Crane, Kate Sheffield/Anthony Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton/Simon Hastings Characters: Colin Bridgerton,  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Phillip Crane, Benedict Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton, Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Polin

Summary: Colin Bridgerton is weary from travel and decides to spend the summer at the Aubrey Hall. While his initial plans were to avoid his perfect family, he ends up sharing the house with Eloise and Penelope. This is a Modern AU!

Colin paced the expanse of his room behind a closed door.  After a properly cold shower,  he’d gotten level-headed enough to figure out that Eloise was probably going to murder him in the very near future. He hadn’t quite come out and declared his undying love to Penelope but he was pretty sure that she’d received the message that he was interested.

If he was honest with himself, he knew he had been for years but he hadn’t allowed himself to act on it.  It was thing to steal her for a dance at family functions or have a fleeting conversation that made her smile.  There was no commitment there and very little chance of rejection since friends did those things.

She was one of the best things in his life and the last thing he wanted to do was mess it up.

She’d been responsive to him though.  He knew there was no innocent slant he could put on what had transpired while horseback riding.  She wasn’t the innocent girl he’d once knew. She was a woman and one who, unless he was imagining it, wanted him as badly as he wanted her.

The thought was enough to make his mouth go dry and his body respond even after a cold shower. The thought of what he would have liked to have done to her wouldn’t quite leave his mind.  He needed to get his head on straight.  

He reached for his cell, fumbling through his contacts until he called his eldest sister.

“Colin?” a voice answered.  “Is everything okay?”

He could hear his nieces playing in the background.

He was genuinely happy that Daphne had managed to find someone who doted on.  They’d always been extraordinarily close and knowing that she was cared for and had a great life was important to him. He often felt a bit jealous that he didn’t have the same things.  In a lot of ways, he didn’t know that he was deserving of them not that he could open up and share those kind of things.

“No,” he said after a long moment.

He heard an exasperated sigh and then the background softened. He could almost picture her moving away from her family to take the call and he was grateful for it. He needed his sister in that moment.

“I’m here to listen,” he heard Daphne tell him.

“I’m going to mess this up,” he confessed after a long moment of silence. He was grateful that she was giving him the space he needed to get it out.  He could talk to his brothers about most things but Daphne was far better at dealing with his emotions.

“Is this about Penelope?”  Daphne asked after a long moment.

If he was confused before he was exceedingly so now.  He knew Daphne wasn’t a mind-reader and she couldn’t possibly know about that yet. He hadn’t told her.

“Yes but how do you know it’s about Penelope,”  he asked confusion clear in his voice. He was starting to wonder if they’d left behind one of those baby cam things to spy on everyone the last time they’d been around. This was almost eerie.

“Because I’m your sister and I know these things,” she said after a moment. “Plus, Kate called me earlier after Anthony he spoke with Benedict who informed him that Eloise and Penelope were with you and apparently Eloise was quite worked up over something.”

He would have laughed if he wasn’t already quite worked up over the whole ordeal.

“What could she possibly be mad about?” he said shaking his head. “Nothing has happened.”

Okay, maybe something happened. There was definitely a little something that was happening on the horseback ride but he hadn’t acted on it.

“But you want it too,” Daphne said after a long moment.

He could almost hear her smug grin across the phone. As much as he wanted to argue it, he didn’t have the strength at this point. What would be the point in it anyways when he needed Daphne’s advice?

“Yes,” he confessed.

“Then stop being an idiot and do it,” Daphne told him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.  “If you keep waiting around, that’s when you’re going to mess things up.”

“But what if she doesn’t feel the same?” he asked.

“Oh you mean, like she magically forgets that she’s had the world’s biggest crush on you since the minute she realized boys weren’t gross?  Yeah, that’s totally going to happen Colin. You should be worried,” Daphne said shaking her head.

“Rude,” he uttered into the phone.

“Listen. Even if I wasn’t 99.9 % sure on this one I’d still tell you that you’re a catch and you deserve to be happy.  You’re smart, you’re well traveled and you do have a pretty great family. What’s not to love?”  Daphne told reassured.

“You forgot handsome and charming,” he corrected.

“Sure, those too,” Daphne said with a laugh.  “Now go out there and ruin Eloise’s summer.”

“Mission accepted,” Colin said with a laugh. “Thanks for the pep talk, Sis.”

“Anytime,” Daphne told him before disconnecting.

--

He made one other call before changing his clothes and going on a quest to find Eloise and Penelope. He sometimes forgot how big the place could really be, especially when he was in need of locating people.

He had a plan.  A plan that had required calling in a favor but a plan nevertheless and now he needed to put it into action.  Tricking Eloise into thinking it was all her idea was going to be the tricky part.  He knew that with a little ingenuity, he could get the job done.

He found them in the kitchen with a carton of ice cream and two spoons.  He came very close to going for a third but he had to stay on task. He could not be distracted by food.  Not even cherry amaretto could seduce him away from his intent.

“I’m going out tonight,” he said after a moment.

“On a date?” Eloise asked.  She sounded suspiciously hopeful about that.

Penelope meanwhile looked a little upset at the implication and he wasn’t going to let her think that any longer than he had to.  

“No,” he said putting an end to any suggestion definitively  before snatching Penelope’s spoon to get a bite for himself, savoring it before letting her have it back. Maybe the cherry amaretto did have control of him after all. “I have a friend who is going through a difficult time and I thought that I might cheer him up. I was hoping that you might be willing to help me.”

“What sort of hard time?” Eloise asked suspiciously.

He should have known she wouldn’t be that easy to get on board.

“His wife died a few months ago,” he told her. It wasn’t a lie.  That much was true.  He also didn’t feel any need to go into the details of the tragedy either.  “He doesn’t get out much because he has two small kids.  I thought maybe he would appreciate some adult conversation and company. Maybe get him to stop moping.”

“That’s so sad,” Penelope said earnestly, frowning into another bite of ice cream. “Was it an accident?” Colin wasn’t sure what was more seductive the ice cream itself or watching her mouth consume it. He had to remember he was trying to sell Eloise on this sad friend thing.

“… It was sudden,” he said choosing to not give details of a story that wasn’t his own to tell.

“Fine,” Eloise said after a long moment.  “But only because I don’t want your friend to go home more depressed than he probably already is.

Colin could barely suppress his smirk.

“Well then, dress for a night out and I’ll order us a ride,” he said simply, grabbing the carton of ice cream away from them and stealing the spoon again to take it with him as he exited. Operation Distract and Make a Move was a go.

#⚜ writings — polin #polin #bridgerton #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington

[punksarahreese]

I might not get another chance for recurrence?👀

Hehe

Uncertainty | Recurrence

Cancer!AU; Ava makes a leap of faith after a bad thing happens

Prompt: “I may not get another chance.”

Word count: 1451

CW: cancer talk

Part 2 of Collapse

***

This was something Sarah had feared since Ava first said the words. It was never a dealbreaker, she didn’t dwell on the idea because she knew it would drive her insane, but it was a worry. Ava meant the world to her, she had become so important to her in such a short amount of time and her love grew greater as they became closer. Ava was so strong, so confident, and her past only proved how far she had come to get to where she was. She had been doing so well, since she was fifteen years into her remission the only thing they ever had to worry about was her missing ribs and minimized bone density. It was all supposed to be okay, Sarah had been so confident, but her hopes were shattered when Sam found her that day.

“Doctor Reese,” she had caught up to her in the cafeteria and Sarah was confused, “I need you to come with me.”

“Doctor Zanetti, I-”

“It’s Ava,” those words had her attention in milliseconds, “She collapsed.”

Sarah had almost cried right then and there, terrified for the wellbeing of her girlfriend. Still, Sam had taken her hand and tugged her out of the room, knowing she needed to be with Ava in that moment. Everything was so uncertain, especially since they didn’t know why she collapsed, and both of them feared for her. The two weren’t close, only friendly because Ava gave them a common relation, but they were here for each other in this. Sam knew if this was bad news that Sarah would bury her own fear for Ava’s sake, so she silently made note to check up on her too.

Ava was in an ER bed, an oxygen mask over her face and her eyes half-lidded. She was clearly medicated, barely noticing Sarah had entered the room until she came over to the bed. A gentle hand on top of hers got through to her, though, and Ava looked up at Sarah weakly. She was embarrassed, that was obvious, but her breathing was too shallow and ragged for her to make any believable excuse for her being there. Something was wrong, they both knew that, and they could only wait for the worst.

“What happened?”

It was Connor who answered, walking into the room again, “After a surgery I went to ask her about a case. We were walking to the ward and she collapsed, her respiration was really low.”

“Chest… tube,” Ava muttered as she gestured vaguely to the plastic tube that Sarah hadn’t seen sticking out of her gown before. She looked at Ava incredulously, knowing that her flinch from that morning had been way more than just a strained rib. Hindsight was 20/20, though, and all Sarah could do was sigh and lean a bit closer to bonk her head lightly against Ava’s. She needed to be close to her, to be sure she was okay; it was all she could do.

“Fluid?”

Connor nodded but didn’t say anything, just leaned heavily against the wall across the room. He wasn’t there as a doctor, she realized, he was there as a friend. Sam had stayed outside, citing that it was too cramped in the room and she didn’t want to make Ava uncomfortable. They all knew she hated this, the worry and the coddling, but it was all they could do.

“Best case scenario is pneumonia, then,” she concluded with a shaky sigh, making Ava tug on her wrist.

“H-hey,” she took a deep breath that Sarah could hear rattling uncomfortably in her chest, “I’m... fine.”

“Ava, I had to shove a plastic tube into your mediastinum less than 45 minutes ago,” Connor retorted incredulously, “You had to have known something was wrong.”

Sarah looked at her pointedly but didn’t add to that, because she didn’t need to be chastised or embarrassed anymore. Ava had a habit of pretending she was okay until she wasn’t and this was just another one of those times. She was used to pain, she spent half her childhood and adolescence in pain, so of course she was used to it. Ava didn’t like to appear weak and to her this was probably nothing, even though they all knew the implications.

“I didn’t want to assume the… the worst,” she shrugged, “I’m alive, for now.”

“Ava, don’t,” Sarah warned, not ready to even think about what she meant by that. Of course Ava was assuming it was back, even though pneumonia would make more sense. It was cold and viral pneumonia was going around the inpatient ward, she probably caught it when doing post-ops. That’s all Sarah could tell herself because she was too afraid to admit what else might be happening.

“Sorry…”

“You’re okay,” Sarah leaned down to press a kiss to the top of her head, “Just… you’ll be fine, okay?”

“I’m fine, darling,” Ava concluded, the sure nod she gave Sarah was enough to soften her and ease her nerves.

“Gross,” Connor rolled his eyes as the brief affection, “I’ll go check on the CT.”

When they were left alone, Ava shifted a little on the bed and looked up at Sarah. The space she made was a peace offering, an apology for hiding her pain and for making light of the bad situation. It was also a silent request for comfort, even though she wouldn’t ask outright in a situation like this. She needed Sarah, she needed to feel grounded and safe in so much uncertainty. It was what they both needed and it’s why Sarah didn’t hesitate to sit down on the uncomfortable gurney mattress beside her.

Ava leaned into her immediately, hiding a flinch when she jostled her chest tube. Sarah just wrapped an arm around her, mumbling a “be careful,” into her shoulder.

“Sarah?”

“Yeah, Avey?”

“I-” she sighed shakily and held out her hand, waiting for Sarah to take it. Their fingers laced together as perfectly as they always did, a familiar pressure that soothed them both. Sarah waited for her to gather her thoughts, knowing she was probably terrified and trying to make light of it all to cope. This was hard on her, sure, but Sarah couldn’t imagine what Ava was feeling right now.

“I’ve got you, okay?” she said gently, “Whatever this is, I love you, Ava.”

That had Ava squeezing her hand, a shy sound escaping her as she looked down. She nodded and then glanced back at her with a little smile. Sarah wasn’t sure what she was thinking at that moment but the words that came out of Ava’s mouth had her in shock.

“I want to marry you.”

“A-Ava I-”

“I’m serious,” she added firmly despite the way her breathing was uneven, “I love you and… I may not... get another c-chance to say that. So yeah, I do want… want to marry you.”

“God, you will be the death of me,” Sarah muttered as she hid her face in Ava’s shoulder, even though she knew she had already seen her embarrassed blush. She wasn’t upset, she honestly felt her heart swell knowing Ava wanted to marry her, but the situation was hard. She didn’t want either of them to think about a future where they couldn’t spend it together, even though the threat was looming over them.

“Don’t say that,” her words were a little muffled, “You have every chance, okay? You’ve made it this far and I’m sure as Hell not giving up on you, so you better not either.”

“Sarah…”

“Hey, I want to marry you too,” she added pointedly, “So you will keep your stubborn ass alive, won’t you?”

Ava grinned at her, mood immediately improving as she took off her oxygen mask to lean forward and steal a kiss from her lips. Sarah just laughed a little, kissing her back gently. Despite everything, this was the kind of comfort and reassurance they both needed. Whatever happened they were together and they would get through it. Ava certainly wasn’t going to miss a chance to see Sarah as a bride, her bride, that was for sure.

It was short lived, though, because Sarah knew she was struggling to breathe enough as it is. She urged her to put the mask back on, though she did press another kiss to Ava’s forehead to appease her. Ava compiled without complaint, just happy to know Sarah was there. Despite all this uncertainty, one thing she was sure of was that she would marry Sarah Reese one day; not even cancer would stop her.

#this didn’t turn out the way I wanted or intended #but oh well #unedited because my heart is Not Cooperating and I can’t focus lol #ava bekker #sarah reese #reesker #connor rhodes #sam zanetti #my aus #recurrence #cancer!au #asks #anon #cj add this to your fic masterpost #userglow

[punkscowardschampions]

Lux & Amber

Lux: You missed [some dinner y’all have that doesn’t entirely suck] tonight

Lux: I tried to save you some but that’s already gone

Lux: anyway, can we talk when you’ve got a sec?

Amber: Oh no! 🥺 Thanks for trying to spare me tomorrow’s ‘feast’, I really appreciate the attempted save

Amber: I promised to stay here for a while longer yet, but we can talk if you’re okay with typing it all out

Amber: I have time to read, she’s fallen asleep

Lux: Awh, I hope your friend feels better soon!

Lux: Yeah, I can totally do it over text

Lux: It’ll be way less awkward for us both anyway, I think

Lux: What do you think about Dash?

Amber: everyone knows what I think about Dash…

Amber: I haven’t made any secret of what an asshole he’s been to me since we had sex

Lux: I’m not just asking to be nosy or anything like that

Lux: but he said some things that I didn’t think made sense and I just

Lux: idk, I don’t know if he believes himself or what

Amber: I think I know why you’re asking, which means I should’ve spoken up more about the lies he told me before then and who I’ve found out he actually is

Amber: he definitely wants to believe his own bullshit, I guess because it makes him look and feel better than the truth does

Lux: Maybe he still likes you so he’s acting out?

Lux: Not that that’s cool but I don’t know why he’s got you so wrong otherwise

Amber: making me look like the psycho ex girlfriend I never was and dismissing everything I say and do under that guise is easier than addressing his own behaviour

Amber: especially when there are so few of us trying to get him to change or be held accountable for how he treats the girls at the commune

Lux: That’s what I was afraid of

Lux: but your side of it undoubtedly makes a lot more sense

Lux: Thanks, Amber

Amber: No, don’t thank me

Amber: I should’ve stayed last night

Amber: known that this was gonna happen

Lux: No, you can’t be responsible for him, or me

Lux: and like you said, so many girls are okay with it, him, seemingly so

Amber: mama insisted I look after you and I clearly didn’t

Lux: You’re both sweethearts, but I’m not a baby

Lux: I should’ve known better

Amber: neither am I but I fell for it too, and I couldn’t have known any better than living alongside him for half a year

Amber: I just really wanted it to be true, what he was saying about me and that place, stupid of me

Lux: If it is that way for him, it sounds really nice

Lux: I think it is, but maybe that’s stupider

Amber: it’s that way for my parents and I thought if anyone could make me feel close to the same, he would, which sounds really calculating of me

Amber: maybe I did use him as badly and he does have a right to badmouth me, I don’t know

Lux: We all have expectations… surely?

Lux: That doesn’t mean either of us were in love with him or being crazy

Lux: What he said and then what he did didn’t match up, for either of us, by the sounds of it

Amber: Do you wanna talk about what he said and did to you?

Lux: It’s hard to work out what even upset me now

Lux: Maybe he did tell me from the start, so that is on me

Lux: I thought from how he was though, he’d want to see me again but when I asked he told me he was with someone else, then he was like, idk, acting like it’s his duty or something and it was really gross

Amber: Yara and her friends must have come back for the solstice celebrations, they never miss a party and he never misses the opportunity to be with her before she's gone again

Lux: What’s she like?

Amber: A free spirit

Amber: and every other hippie stereotype everyone expects me to be

Lux: Of course

Lux: well I don’t want to meet her, whatever he thinks

Amber: of course he wants you to meet her

Lux: He should just be with her then if she’s so cool and free

Amber: there's no scenario in which she'd wanna stay there with him or he's gonna leave with her

Lux: Love being what’s left

Amber: I'm so sorry, Lux

Amber: this is just my POV of them though, and I'm biased by how angry he makes me

Lux: It’s not your fault, this is just all what I was presuming and dreading before

Lux: He doesn’t like you either, so the truth should be somewhere in the middle

Amber: if he talked to me about any of it instead of about me to anyone who'll listen, he'd like me even less

Lux: I was supposed to be being extra vigilant

Lux: I knew this would happen

Amber: it's not your fault, he knows what he's doing, that's why he keeps it up and keeps getting away with it

Lux: It was my fault I got myself involved

Lux: It couldn’t be shown to me any clearer

Lux: I can thank him for that, I guess

Amber: Do you want us to help you find somewhere else to stay?

Lux: You don’t need to do that

Lux: Here is as good as any for now

Lux: I need to work on myself, not my surroundings

Amber: I know the feeling, but it doesn't stop me fucking hating living there sometimes

Amber: a lot of the time

Lux: I don’t like it either

Lux: I’m in no position to complain but it’s

Lux: a different dislike to home, but still

Amber: Any time you feel like complaining to me, I'm not in any position to tell you not to, it's all I do right now, I swear

Amber: but maybe it would be more helpful to admit that I'm also spending as much time as I can finding places that feel far away from it and meeting people who don't have the hive mind

Lux: It feels like everyone else LOVES it and the implication is I just don’t ‘get it’ because of my background and that’s my lack

Lux: It’s actually very similar in loads of ways and not positive ways, I would say but hey

Lux: School must help with that a lot

Lux: the kids at my church that weren’t homeschooled or quiverfull were just

Lux: such a breath of fresh air

Lux: the best friends until my mother caught wind and called them ‘bad influences’ or whatever

Amber: some of them are, but there are others who make me feel as 👽 as people in the commune do, I still have searching to do, I guess, before I belong properly anywhere

Lux: I feel that

Lux: Maybe Yara has the right idea 🙄

Amber: Shhh no, don't ever say that! And don't let me put you off, I'm sure if you met them you'd love them all and vice versa

Amber: it's gotta be a me thing because my favourite person in the world is someone I do nothing but argue with

Lux: I won’t love her now

Lux: It isn’t her fault but it’s too late for that

Lux: Is that his brother?

Lux: Not to be gossipy, but he had stuff to say about that too

Amber: I won’t push that introduction, but my school friends are a possibility, since you’re not planning to leave

Amber: Great, he’s made it about him, despite the fact he’s the one topic we don’t talk about, I should’ve seen that coming too

Lux: That, I would like

Lux: I’m not getting that reputation

Lux: He already called Nora boring despite the fact I think everyone knows why she’s here and why she’s shy

Lux: Oh he thinks it’s 100% about him, I did my best to politely say I doubted that very much but he wasn’t taking it in

Amber: Nora’s very welcome to come with you to hang out with us if she’d like, I don’t think she’s at all boring, or honestly even that shy

Amber: Dash can’t stand that she doesn’t feel at ease around him because that’s how he gets what he wants

Lux: Yeah, seriously

Lux: I didn’t even go there because I got mad enough without pointing out her discomfort/trauma around men isn’t about him and HIS feelings

Amber: Likewise my friendship with his brother isn’t anything to do with him or his business, but it’s the least important part of what’s been going on, so I wouldn’t be rushing to bring it up even if it was a conversation he wanted to and was mature enough to have

Lux: I don’t know what to do now

Lux: He’s not the devil

Amber: he doesn’t have to be a bad person to be bad for you

Lux: He did try to talk to me, get to know me, though

Lux: which is more than plenty of people here

Lux: and I’m not treating them like 👺

Amber: he got to know me too, for months, I thought we were genuinely friends and then I discovered how much of what he said was lies, and if that wasn’t bad enough, he stole my dad’s stash

Amber: getting it back is how I met his brother in the first place, not that I did, because it was long gone

Lux: I know you’re right 😞

Amber: Don’t you think it’s worse than being blanked? I absolutely wish he’d never given me the time of day

Lux: I wish I was there yet

Lux: but no, I can’t say I’m there when I’m just not

Amber: it’s okay, I’ve had longer and I still feel like the biggest idiot, maybe it would stop hurting if I wasn’t friends with his brother and going over to his house to make that boy breakfast in the morning but I don’t want to not do those things

Lux: I can get that bit

Lux: I’m already hating that girl I’ve never met because of him, and that makes me mad but there’s no situation in which he doesn’t get the win because if I tried to not hate her, that’s what he wants anyway

Lux: That sounds super cute though

Lux: despite the arguing

Lux: maybe that’s just how they were raised?

Amber: I don’t know how his brother doesn’t hate me, because I haven’t told you that’s where it happened, because I can’t believe anyone would seriously pretend someone else’s room was theirs

Amber: I can’t blame him for always being annoyed at me, I am at myself and my life, he must think I’m… well I don’t wanna put the words to what he could think

Amber: at least he says what he means and it’s real

Lux: He what?

Lux: Oh no that’s REALLY bad

Lux: his brother can clearly tell that that’s as bad for you too, and not your fault

Lux: well, worse, but even if how mad he was stopped him getting to that conclusion

Lux: I can’t

Amber: It makes no sense that Dash would do it for my benefit, I don’t even have a bed right now, I’m not gonna judge the state of his sheets!

Lux: That’s weird

Lux: like an inside joke with himself?

Lux: because presumably he didn’t think his brother would find out anything…

Lux: He should get a lock

Amber: Right? For it to be a fuck you he’d have to tell him because I did a really good job of tidying up before I left and he didn’t stop me

Lux: I do not like that

Lux: I’m used to having no personal space and nothing being your own

Lux: but that’s disrespectful, like a lot

Amber: me too and I couldn’t agree more, it gives me the ick

Lux: It’s real ick

Lux: sorry, I’m not trying to make you feel gross, it’s all him

Lux: it was just a room to you

Amber: it’s such a nice room, if I wasn’t high I would’ve questioned it

Lux: There was a lot I would’ve questioned on a normal night but I was overwhelmed

Amber: I know you said don’t but I hate myself for leaving you

Lux: Seriously don’t

Lux: that’s not what I want

Lux: I probably would’ve done it whatever you said

Lux: I hate to say that but it’s likely true

Amber: it was a drunk decision, I’m usually a better friend, I promise

Lux: I know you are 😌

Lux: you’ve been more than welcoming despite the fact your mom kinda forced you to 😅

Amber: When I get back we should go out, not only because if I see Dash I will hit him and my dad’ll be upset with me, but also to do something away from him and my parents

Lux: Yeah, I’m feeling that too, I do not wanna be here

Lux: where should we go? 💃🍸🍝🎬🛒💅

Lux: aside from breakfast, what do you guys do for fun?

Lux: I’ve barely ventured outside of this place since I got here

Amber: how unfair would it be if I woke up my sick friend to ask her what normal girls do with their Sunday evening?

Amber: we did go to the beach, that’d be cleansing for the ick

Amber: or we could do something neither of us have ever done, to slightly level the playing field, because you’ve been overwhelmed enough for forever

Amber: to make us feel less gross

Lux: Can we go to the beach

Lux: my favourite places we’ve lived were always by the ocean

Amber: That’s what I was hoping you’d say!

Lux: 😁🥰🥳

Amber: the minute her mama is through the door, I’ll be out of it

Lux: I will aggressively be busy wherever he ain’t ‘til then

Amber: keep away from [wherever the hell Yara and her friends hang out on these grounds] and you’ll be fine

Lux: Thanks, I’ve got a bikini to find anyway, Lord knows I don’t have one

Amber: [obvs tell her where you hide your shit because that’s the kind of friend you are and it likely changes so other bitches don’t steal it]

Lux: Oh, that’s smart 👍

Lux: I’d get a lock for our room but I just know there’d be suggestions we could fit at least another 2 people in or whatever if we just made the effort 🙄

Amber: Thanks, I’d love to wear my favourite new 👗 everywhere but I know what would get said about that, and besides, it wouldn’t be the nicest thing I own for long if I did

Amber: I’d offer to sleep on the floor but unfortunately I’m too small for that suggestion to really silence the others

Lux: Not for the beach then

Lux: but soon, maybe with your friends, and Nora?

Lux: I could make a new favourite 👗 for the occasion

Lux: Don’t take this the wrong way but how tiny you are is adorable 🥺 I’m totally jealous

Amber: Yes, I know exactly who I can ask for a Nora friendly atmosphere

Amber: I’m ridiculously jealous that you can apparently make a new dress like it’s nothing, I couldn’t even make a sock puppet when the little ones asked me

Lux: 💗

Lux: It depends on your view of fashion

Lux: I can sew but I prefer ridiculously impractical stuff you would not see in any kinda store

Amber: it’s hard to see past the joy of clothes that haven’t been worn and washed so often it’s a guess what colour they originally were, for me

Amber: I don’t know how I feel about fashion, I like accessories though

Amber: and I’m a willing 🐹 … is that a hamster? 😂

Lux: I’ve noticed your collection 💎📿🧿✨

Lux: in an admiring way… not a thief one which that sounds like 😅

Lux: you can be my hamster

Amber: You can borrow any of them, except this one [a pic with a ring around the necklace her bae gave her duh]

Amber: okay, but what creature are you? Not a magpie, allegedly

Lux: Understood

Lux: ❌🦊🐺

Amber: that was his nickname for you?

Lux: Of course it’s that predictable

Amber: because he gave me one too, along with Yara and everybody else

Lux: He’s becoming less appealing by the second

Lux: just because it isn’t special or doesn’t mean anything to him, doesn’t mean he should assume it’s the same for everyone he ever meets

Amber: He made me feel so special, it’s embarrassing to even type out now

Lux: I’m right there with you

Lux: I can’t believe I decided to trust him, on any level but with that especially

Amber: I feel like I need to have sex with someone else immediately because him being the only person I have since we moved here is an honour he doesn’t remotely deserve, but I know I need to start making better decisions, so like, I can’t

Lux: Try him being the second person you have and both times went TERRIBLY and confirmed the sin to everyone and yourself

Lux: That’s great, thanks Dash 👍

Amber: I'm gonna kill him, my dad'll have to deal

Lux: Brooks will kill me

Lux: or give me really hard work as punishment, anyway

Lux: Let’s just go to the beach and hope he’s gone home by the time we get back

Amber: We'll find out from Finley when we're ready to go back and if he's still there we can sleep on the beach

Lux: 🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏽‍♀️

Amber: I like that better than when Dash's brother called me one of those spiky things that you tread on 😂

Amber: accurate but not very glamourous

Lux: That’s a weird way to flirt 🤔🤭

Amber: Well, I'm pretty sure he'd deny EVER flirting with me, even if we were the kinds of 🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏽‍♀️ who tried to drown him

Lux: Are they opposite brothers?

Lux: Dash would tell us he flirts with EVERYONE and to not be weird about it

Amber: I'm surprised Dash didn't compare them to the Oak and Holly King 🙄

Amber: but they truly are different enough for me to almost forget they're brothers

Lux: Currently I feel like that could only work in his brother’s favour

Lux: but all kinds of boys can be all kinds of jerks

Amber: It does, but you're right, I can't pretend he doesn't have his own moments of being an asshole

Lux: As long as the non-asshole moments outweigh them though

Lux: I think that’s an acceptable thing to be okay with, none of us are perfect, Lord knows

Amber: I hope they will, it's hitting me as I type this that I really haven't known him long, and it's strange, because it doesn't feel that way to me at all

Lux: It’s like that, sometimes

Lux: time isn’t always what matters

Amber: True, but another hope is still that I get more time in Dublin to spend with him

Lux: I haven’t heard either of your parents talking about moving… yet

Lux: I think your mom is getting a lot of women at her groups rn

Amber: and I haven't heard her arguing with Kai either yet

Lux: I don’t know if he’d be capable 🧘🏻‍♀️☮️🌼✌️

Amber: I wanted not to like him but I don't think I'm capable

Amber: he's made so much effort with me

Lux: It’s okay, I prefer your dad too 🤭

Amber: You're his ⭐🏆���� pupil, he talks about you whenever he's not teaching you basically, it's cute

Lux: He’s really helped

Lux: considering how little I knew, and still don’t

Lux: but I’m getting there, he knows so many good books

Amber: Not reading is THE thing he tells me off for and I can't 🥺 my way out of

Lux: I’ll read enough for the both of us 🤞

Lux: and at least I’m never bumping into Dash at the library 🙄😏

Lux: he talked a lot about how he hates school so

Amber: I found a boy to tutor me but I think I'm too distracting…

Amber: maybe you can do it when my dad is finished with you

Lux: We could help each other, maybe

Lux: I’ll do the 📚📏🧮📖 practical stuff and you can tell me about all the different places you’ve been and different people you’ve met

Lux: It might not be a totally fair trade-off but we had to budget and account for every hour of our day so math is pretty easy and all there was to do was read the approved books over and over so 🤷‍♀️ I don’t totally suck

Amber: unfair to you if you’re doing all the work and I’m just sitting there talking and talking!

Lux: That is work too!

Lux: There’s only so much reading about places and people can give me

Lux: You might be 👽 sometimes but that’s me 99% of the time 24/7

Amber: I’m not saying no, I love the sound of my own voice, famously

Amber: that’s how I got picked for nurse duty over our other friends

Lux: I don’t think that’s a problem, your voice is cute

Lux: but I promise I won’t be 😍 like your tutor

Lux: You must get it from your mom, your caring side

Amber: I definitely feel like an 👽 when I talk here, everyone has such defined accents and mine’s all over the place

Amber: oh god, he acts like he’s being tortured, I thought I was having trouble concentrating, but he’s got me utterly beat, I can’t do it to the poor boy any more

Amber: or from my dad, I don’t remember the last time he was like this about a student, when he is though, he really is

Lux: I can understand you, though

Lux: and I CANNOT understand so many people here it’s 😬😬

Lux: 🤭🤭 the power you have

Lux: The way I unintentionally sounded so rude to your dad there! 😨😅 my brain was fully on nursing but no, you can tell he actually wants to help me, for me, he isn’t getting anything out of it but the joy of loving what he does, obviously

Amber: There have been a lot of days I kinda wish they were forcing me to take Irish as a class the way they do for whoever is born here, but I doubt there’s any kind of glossary or key to unlocking the accent in the back of the textbook so it probably wouldn’t help that much realistically, right? Besides, I’m scraping by as it is without imagining extra work for myself

Amber: not the superpower I’d ask for, but one I have inherited from my mama, for sure, men are intimidated by her everywhere she goes and whatever she’s doing

Amber: like it or not, except I think she does enjoy having that effect, mostly

Amber: 😂 It’s okay, I won’t tell him any parts that aren’t complimentary 😶

Lux: That’s way beyond my capabilities, it’d be 😵

Lux: I bet they do have night classes though, when you’re not drowning in regular ones

Lux: I think I would

Lux: I can see the appeal, but maybe it’s the kinda thing you don’t appreciate if you do have it 🤔🤷‍♀️

Lux: ⭐️💗

Amber: I used to think I was into it but Dash’s brother isn’t intimidated by me in the least and I’m starting to like how that feels more, I don’t know

Lux: Like, comfortable?

Amber: I have no idea which words to put to it, it’s like, he’s actually fine with me being myself, even though I’m a mess, he isn’t just saying it’s fine while making me feel 👽 or stupid

Amber: honest maybe?

Lux: Y’all are cute 🥺😍 and I’m about it until he proves otherwise

Amber: I’m looking forward to making him breakfast and you know that’s not me at home

Lux: Okay but there are too many people here for that to ever be a fun experience

Lux: I wait ‘til everyone’s gone or busy doing whatever they do and have it in my first lesson

Amber: smart

Lux: but rude, and anti-social to boot

Amber: Ruder if you didn’t wait, Yara and her friends behave that way all the time, treating it as if they’re the popular girls sent to a summer camp

Amber: I’ve had to bite my tongue so hard so often because we’ve already had the argument and I know what she would say if we kept having it

Lux: 🤢🤢🤢

Lux: There’s zero chance I’m ‘hanging’ with them now

Lux: I didn’t want to anyway but of course he was making me feel bad and 👽 over that

Amber: if I could get away with throwing a party when she’s gone, I would, I don’t care how 👶🏽 it makes me sound

Lux: There is somehow 🍻🍷 left soooooo 😋

Amber: 🙃

Lux: I think we need to reclaim how last night turned out somehow anyway

Amber: I’m more than ready to do that if we can decide how

Lux: We’ll ponder at the beach

Lux: Btw, if you want, you can room with me and Nora for real

Lux: well, I will have to ask but like, she’s not gonna have an issue with it

Lux: I would’ve offered before but obviously some people like the whole couch surfing vibe and I thought that was you too

Amber: I don’t know what to say, I feel like I might cry for some reason that can’t be a hangover this late

Amber: it’s the kindest offer, I’m really touched, and would obviously love to

Lux: There’s definitely room for another mattress

Lux: we really want to paint it and make it cute, whatever people think, because Finley said he’ll pay for paint so then it’s not like, farm resources

Amber: What colour are you voting for? Nora’s gonna want [whatever colour is her fave idk]

Lux: 🤔🤔 okay hear me out

Amber: intriguing…

Lux: well if our beds are against separate walls we could have a wall each in whatever colour we want

Lux: it’d be nice if they looked cute together but anything is better than the terracotta and white splodges we have now 🤷‍♀️

Amber: Okay but you gotta help me pick or I’ll accidentally choose something that gives me a headache and have to sleep in sunglasses!

Amber: 🔵🌊💙?

Lux: OOOOOOOoooooo

Lux: a like burgundy, navy and then I could do a purple to pink energy to bring it full circle

Lux: that would be 🥰 I’m excited!

Amber: We can beach brainstorm

Amber: if you’re ready to go? [because why not show up like hey new bestie]

Lux: 🧚‍♀️

[buirbaby]

The Wardens: The First Trial

Rating : M + Mature content, language, and violence

Masterlist | First | Next

The only thing that had been instant in this world was her rebirth alongside Balerion. Otherwise, learning anything was an atrocious, long winded affair. Tabitha knew a few things, like how to tell differences between plants and combine them into salves, but there were a plethora of other flora that Fang warned her about, vegetation that didn't exist in her world. Additionally, given their sub-zero location within a mountain, there were little to no plants that grew amongst the permafrost. Thus, one of her skills was rendered nearly useless, paled in comparison to all that she didn't know, in addition to the fact that she'd lived a rather lofty life after leaving her job in the military. She'd been decent with a rifle, but there were no guns here and a bow could only get her so far. The weapon chosen for her was Fate, the Valyrian steel legacy sword of the Wardens.

Now, Tabitha wasn't out of shape. She climbed and hiked mountains for fun, her muscles honed from suspending herself on cliffaces, her tactile grip strength surpassing most humans. However, given that she now had a griffin, climbing wasn't particularly necessary unless she had to keep Balerion at a distance. Still, the fact she was athletic and tall for a woman did aid in the training that Fang billeted her with. She had to learn how to use the sword or she'd die with it in her inexperienced palm.

Never had she thought there'd be so much to surviving in a medieval world, taking for granted everything she had back home. From the gross pit she had to utilize to go to the bathroom-which froze her ass off when she did pull down her pants-to the fact that they didn't have food readily available, she had to relearn everything. How to hunt, how to track, how to map topography, how to tell the time by the position of the sun in the sky which was also dependent on where she was and what time of year it was. There was so much. Riding Balerion was no easy feat either. While her partner had a perfect nook to slide into to ride between his shoulder blades, the lack of a saddle meant that she rode bareback. Only, unlike a horse, a griffin was a much more perilous ride. By the end of their first ride, her legs were throbbing from being clenched so tightly, Fang bemused by her harrowed expression and near fainting from when Balerion had turned 90 degrees to sail up a current in the wind flanking the mountain.

The north was cold. There had been placed where Tabitha had been nearly frostbitten, but she'd never embarked on a journey into the tundra, which was basically what she'd compare the Frostfangs. Unironically, there was more territory to the North East that hadn't been officially mapped by men, but Tabitha knew what laid there: a desolate icescape with few living creatures roaming the white, featureless plains. She wondered if the Night King would come from there or further north, descending from the Thenn. Either way, she suspected she had time, but the wind continued to nip at her in a reminder that it could become much colder.

She remembered a rough quote about the place that had become her home, that there were giants, wargs, and worse things in the Frostfangs. That's what she was, wasn't it? Warden was a fancy title, but truthfully, she was a warg.

The abilities seemed complicated at first and she drew upon her knowledge from the books and chapters in Bran's perspective. Even with that as a guideline, she found her expectations were a mere shadow of what it truly meant to be bonded to an animal. She had known Balerion since he had been a kitten, raising him, taking him everywhere with her until their paths became this and he was no longer just feline in nature. There was an innate bond, the ability to sense each other's emotions without making much effort, their beings interlaced together like fingers holding one another. She always could sense how he felt, just as in turn, he could sense her disquiet or a ripple of emotion.

Sometimes, she would dream of his midnight hunts, viewing the world from above as he went in search of large game to sate his hunger. Under the cover of night, his dark feathers and fur made him a shadow against the sky, nearly impossible to see when the stars were blotted out by clouds.

Under Fang's guidance, there had been a few instances where she had forced the switch, taking control of Balerion. However, she found that she did not like the feeling, thrusting his own sentience to the side, when she trusted the griffin's judgement just as much as her own. While there would undoubtedly be benefits to this ability, she found no use in it now.

Days bled into one another, becoming weeks and months under the tutelage of Fang. Daily sword practice, bi-weekly hunts and trapping, lessons in the True Language and of the intricacies of the Others, Fang knew not where she would be needed first, but he wanted to be certain that she would not get herself killed and could survive even in the most inhospitable of environments.

"I've been to a lot of places," Tabitha told him, savoring the fresh venison from the successful hunt that morning. Dressing the beast had become second nature and the rest had been preserved, some being smoked now to turn to jerky. Thankfully, given the frigid temperatures, she could utilize it to save the meat for later. "Mountains, oceans, jungles, deserts. Of course, I had more supplies and equipment than I do here, but I did manage to survive out there."

"If you can survive in the two extremes the world has to throw at you, you're well off," Fang commented.

"Mm, but I'll need to go into cities, mingle with people..." It had been a long time since Tabitha had any company aside from just Fang and Balerion. The idea of trying not to stick out like a sore thumb in a major city made her heart flutter, stomach churning as she thought of high society and how ill prepared she was to face any sort of nobility or royalty. She had a callous mouth, cursed worse than a sailor, and knew that while she had a sharp enough tongue to elicit chuckles at her quips, that might as well get her killed for being impudent with the wrong person.

"That was always a possibility," Fang shrugged, wrapped in a thick shadowskin where he sat against the wall. "But at least you can carry that sword well enough now to fend for yourself. A couple of years ago?" He let her oafish swinging come back to the forefront.

"Hey, I didn't know how to use those muscles. I told you I'd never lifted a sword in my life," Tabitha snorted indignantly, jabbing a gloved finger in his direction. "And for as good as I 'might' be with it, I've yet to fight anyone other than you, pipsqueak. If I were to come face to face with someone like Jaime Lannister, I know I'm like to get myself killed. A few years of steadfast practice doesn't make a master."

"At least you're not arrogant enough to think so," Fang pointed out.

"Yeah, well, I'd like to not die," she huffed. Not die, again. With her luck, she'd go on the first task laid out before her and get murdered. She had a rather cynical outlook on life, given that her second chance was albeit shoddy, riddled with clauses, and was forcing her to play a role she'd rather neglect. Honestly, she could've flown out to Essos and found a city to explore and enjoy or other natural features she could witness with Balerion beside her, but somehow she knew that the magic that had brought her here wouldn't allow it. She was bound by it, a fiery contract that she had not willingly signed. She knew not the details of the contract, only that Fang insisted that she had to do what she was told to.

A good soldier could take orders, but Tabitha had left those years in the army behind her, and it wasn't as if she had great rapport with her commander--which she was beginning to suspect more and more was somehow tied with the Lord of Light.

A west wind blew, biting through the layers that she wore. Despite the thick bundles in which she was swaddled in, there were some chills she could not chase. Groaning, Tabitha drew her cloak in and continued to trudge through the snow. A new blanket had fallen, making it a bit more difficult to traverse through the woods to check her snares. Better to be overprepared with food in the case there was a dry spell of hunting, but she hated leaving the warmth of the forge behind. She hoped her first task was someplace south and warm, not amongst the ice and stone.

Throwing back her cloak as she dug through the snow to check the snare, she heard a soft scittering beneath the white blanket. Had a scavenger gotten to whatever had been frozen beneath? Sighing, she removed her dagger and began to peel away the layers. What she hadn't been expecting was the rabbit to still be alive.

No, it was not alive, but it continued to move. Lashing at the rope snare that had snapped its neck, the head cocked at an unnatural angle as it twisted around. The eyes were a piercing blue, burning around the edges of the fur as it set those blazing irises on her and tried to pounce on her. This was the first creature she'd seen that had been turned into a wight and the implications disturbed her. Didn't an Other need to be within a certain proximity for the wighting to happen? They were coming and still, she had yet to be given a task. What had already occurred in the books that she could have prevented?

She drew her sword, killing the undead rabbit a second time, aware that the steel would stop it from rising again. No longer would traps suffice if they'd just rise again and she wasn't keen on trying wight meat or discovering its side effects. There was enough meat back in the Roost for her to wait for another big hunt. With Balerion to take it back up into the mountain, she wouldn't need to worry about it coming back to life, especially if she finished it with her sword.

The Haunted Forest was a bit of a flight from the mountains where the Roost was situated, but it was the biggest range for food. The Frostfangs had more shadowcats than worthy game. Laden with snow and icicles, the trees were depressed beneath the weight of the world around them. Daylight was fading and she knew she ought to call Balerion to head back to the safety of their home. But she was drawn in by the winter wonderland around her, to include a white mist, her steaming breath more noticable behind the thick fold of her fabric of her scarf that helped keep her face warm.

A warning flag raised in her head, recalling Fang's warnings, in tandem with the rabbit she'd found. It was time to go. It was time to-

"Who goes there?" A gruff voice asked, the audible crunching of noise taking her aback.

She swung toward the nearest tree, pinning her back to it, fingers grazing the hilt of her sword. Straining, she could hear men nearby, but couldn't say if they were wildling or Crows, she hadn't seen them. Of course there might be rangers. Thus far she'd not crossed anyone, but nor had she been exceptionally careful aside from being wary of the Others. Regardless of who it was, they probably wouldn't care for her.

Two, three, four... five? No, there were more. Call Balerion and risk him getting hurt or make a dash for it?

"You!"

But the voice that called wasn't gesturing toward her, she saw the mangled furs bundling up a figure and wondered what a lone wildling was doing. From their lumbering gait, she didn't have to puzzle for long. Just as there had been an undead rabbit, the wildling was definitely not alive. Rooted to her spot, metal sang out of scabbards.

"They don't look right," a different voice commented.

"There's another over there."

"And there. What's with their eyes?"

Crows. They learn the hard way that these bastards wouldn't go down easy, but it was not her job to help them. Until this point, she'd not been given any guidance on what to do. Hopefully, they'd survive and escape back toward the Wall. Time to go. While they were distracted she could escape whence she had come and pretend this had never happened.

Yet, as Tabitha rounded, her stomach dropped and she noticed that there were many wights lumbering from out of the fog that had thickened to a dense wall that was nearly impenetrable. They cared naught if she was a brother of the Watch of a wildling. She was alive and thus, a target. Her movement caught their attention and she had no choice but to rip her own sword out from where she'd sheathed it.

"Fine, bout time I killed a few wights," Tabitha commented to no one in particular. Originally, she had thought they'd be slow, but the ice zombies were feral and quick if their limbs were intact. Despite the encumbering snow, they lurched forward like a pack of wild dogs and she raised Fate to cut down the first attacker. The vibrant blue eyes flickered like a light switch being turned on and off, before fading entirely. There was no time to admire the success of her blow as she turned the sword, taking a step back and rooting herself before parrying the next and hacking down upon the neck, severing the head clean off. "Fuck," there were too many. She was forced back, step by step, toward the Night's Watch men that she did not want to encounter.

If they cared who she was, they did not voice it, because she was another sword amongst the horde and her sword seemed to be putting them down. Tabitha suspected it had to do with how she was dressed, in midnight blue and grey, obviously not a wildling. Perhaps they even mistook her for one of their own, her face obscured so they could not see she was a woman. Given her lean, tall stature, she could have easily passed for a man if she did not speak.

"First Ranger, what do we do? There's no end to them-ERG!" Beside her, one of the Crows was staked through with a roughly hewn spear, the undead wildling twisting the stone deeper, blood frothing to the man's lips.

Tabitha hissed and darted forward, but it was no use. Even as she killed the wight, the man would die from the wound in his chest. The light was fading and she knew that he too would turn. Rather, she spared him a pitiful glance before taking her sword and driving it down to deliver him quick mercy.

"What are you doing?!" A hand gripped her bicep, tightening painfully, as she was forced to gaze up into slate grey eyes.

"He'll turn! He was dead anyways," she snarled, ripping her arm away and glancing amidst the crowd drawing in.

"A woman-"

She'd betrayed herself, but didn't care at that moment. Two of the seven Crows were dead, but the strangest bit was that the wights had paused, forming a semi-circle around them where they panted, steaming hot breath in front of them. With the pause in the slaughter, two of the men exchanged tremulous glances and before anyone had so much as lowered their weapons, they turned heel and ran, cutting through the small gap between the wights and plunging into the wilderness to abandon the other three of their brothers that had survived.

The man that he gripped her snarled, his brows furrowing in frustration, but he did not call after them, too preoccupied with what was going on.

"Why have they stopped?" The question hung open in the air and Tabitha had a very bad feeling, her stomach nearly in her toes as she licked her lips.

"They were commanded to," she answered, the only logical explanation as to why the mindless hive would relent their assault.

"By what?" Tension was high, a stodgier Crow snapping at her, his eyes wide with terror.

"What do you think, chuckle-fuck? What controls wights?" Tabitha snapped back.

"The Others," the ranger beside him was quiet, voice barely above a whisper as the four of them contemplated their options.

"We need to get out of here. We can't fight them," Tabitha told them, her hands shaking. The Others were expert swordsmen, where she was just a novice. Even with three years beneath her belt, she didn't think she was even close to a match for them. "They had the right idea. We need to run-"

But the horses they'd come with had fled and the gap that once existed had closed. Tabitha knew she could flee, but not without condemning these men. Despite owing them nothing, she couldn't help but think 'no soldier left behind'. She was not their friend, perhaps they would have simply killed her had the wights not interrupted, but in this moment they were temporary allies.

Before them, the wights parted and an ethereal figure stepped out. Tabitha was shocked, finding not the zombie-esc being depicted in the show, but a strangely elegant, alien creature. He was made entirely of ice, glistening in the low light of dusk from the greyed sky. Eyes brilliantly, devilishly blue, another flaming pair dancing amongst the crowd that followed him. Each step refracted off his armor, which picked up the images around it, appearing see through. Gripped fast in its hand was a pale, wicked sword of crystal that would shatter any steel aside from that forged by dragon fire.

There was no moment for her to warn them, to say not to attack, but all logic had been tossed out the window. The stout ranger roared and charged forward before she could open her mouth. If they killed the Other, then the wights would stop, wouldn't they? No, not unless this was the Night King. But he did not know this and Tabitha's words were lost amongst the screeching of the crystal sword as it collided effortlessly with the ranger's. Her ears balked, the high pitched wailing of crystal to steel sounding like an animal being tortured. Then it stopped, all time ceasing as the steel shattered into a rain of silver fragments and the ranger's eyes widened in astonishment.

All of them stared in horror as the Other spoke, no one could comprehend the noises, akin to the cracking of ice in a winter lake. Even Tabitha, who knew the True Tongue, had no idea what he said. Given the mocking tone of it, she suspected he was condemning them all to death or challenging them to be as foolish as the first.

"Will killing it save us?" the man who'd grabbed her earlier asked.

"If we can kill it? No, probably not," she conceded.

The moment the sinewy ranger heard this, his fingers tightened on his sword and he spun on his heel, cloak flapping like a bird's wing as he tried to run toward the largest gap he could find. But they had all closed, thus he tried to force his way through, hacking and slashing, until the wights stirred and fought back. The flurry of activity halted, the man falling to his knees as he was punched through the stomach with an axe, cold hands tearing him apart.

"What's your name?" the man asked her, expecting that these fleeting moments might very well be their last.

"Tabitha Flores," she answered, calling for Balerion, wondering if they could escape into the sky without him being injured.

"I wish I could say it's an honor to meet you, but at least it was an honor to fight beside you. I am Benjen Stark, First Ranger to Castle Black of the Night's Watch," he introduced, a sad, but whimsical edge to his tone.

"Hey, don't be counting the daisies you'll be pushing before you've stopped breathing," Tabitha muttered, realizing now what she'd ignored at first. First Ranger. This was where Benjen disappeared and never returned. He was supposed to die here. Or maybe he wasn't. "Who knows, maybe killing this fucker will solve our problems." Hopeful thinking, but she was the one with the Valyrian steel. She needed to at least distract him enough that Balerion could sweep in unimpeded.

Her body screamed against it, instinct telling her to turn tail and run, dash herself to death into the wights just as the other ranger had done. Instead, she leveled her sword and prepared herself. A few minutes. If she could survive just a few minutes.

The chilling laughter of the Other ripped through her, clenching her heart, as he entertained her. Until this point, she'd not traded blades with anyone other than Fang. The wights were clumsy and unskilled, despite how fast they could be. But the Other was fluid, graceful, and did not strike without fully intending on killing. The first blow jarred her shoulder, her nerves twinging as she wondered if her sword would break beneath the crystal, but it held true. The Other noticed this, gaunt face drawing pensively, as her muscles quivered from holding the parry.

He shoved off, sending her a few feet back. Catching her balance, Tabitha raised her sword in the nick of time, struggling to keep up with the relentless hail of blows. Until she couldn't. Her slowing down had left an opening, the crystal blade cutting as true as any steel would, slicing into the meat of her left hand. She jerked back, her spasming hand tossing the sword behind her and into the snow, droplets of crimson splattering in the white to create a blooming of tiny bloody buds. He raised the sword, intending on spearing her through, but she had enough energy to roll out of the way, panting as she clutched her injured hand.

The sword had plunged into the earth where she had once been, her eyes widening as she scrambled back trying to find her feet and the only sword that would protect them against the Other. Rounding on her again, Tabitha still scrambled, unable to get back up as she pressed her palm to her chest and tried to stand. Again, he aimed for her and this time she knew she had nowhere to roll, lest she wanted to tuck right into a throng of wights.

Her eyes scrunched shut, but there was no pain, only the high pitched wailing of steel against crystal. When she peeked from out of her narrowed eyes, she saw that Benjen stood above her with Fate in his hands, holding back the swing that should have killed her. He forced the Other back, the harkening of Balerion above the trees reminding her that they needed to flee. Her hand was throbbing, blood staining her doublet as she managed to finally get up and whip her head towards the sky. Her eyes came back down and she saw Benjen continue to fight the Other, his own skill with the sword out matching her own as he was a more formidable match for the creature.

But it would not be an easy victory. The Valyrian steel bit against the Other's arm, hissing as it marred the brittle flesh. For that, he snaked past Benjen's defenses and caught him hard along his left side before he could turn the blade.

" No !" Tabitha knew that it had cut deep, even if the black fabric betrayed nothing.

He still stood, parrying the next and staggering back as he clutched at his flank. The Other was smug in his supposed victory, snatched only when Balerion bellowed again and nose dived between the branches, seeping from the night sky like a shadowed hellion. Talons outstretched, he caught the Other by its armor and flung it across the field and into a tree. It was not dead, but stunned, leaving them with a few fleeting seconds as Benjen crumpled to his knees, leaning upon the pommel of Fate as he panted.

Tabitha ran, the griffin encircling them and expressing his dismay loudly and with reproach, as if to challenge her. Why hadn't she called him sooner? "Get up, we need to go," Tabitha told Benjen, uncertain if Balerion could fly the entire distance back to the Roost with the both of them. She had to hope that he could. Her own injury seemed trivial in light of the Stark's, her hand flying to the gash to apply additional pressure.

Balerion knelt as she helped her charge onto his back, mounting behind him and keeping her arm pressed into his wound. No words needed to be spoken between them, onyx wings beating as he launched them off the forest floor and into the sky. He was dead weight, sagging slightly in front of her, threatening to slide right off. Balerion steadied himself, trying to keep as even as possible as Tabitha fought to keep him up.

"Stay awake. Stark!"

#game of thrones fanfiction #game of thrones fanfic #a song of ice and fire fanfic #asoiaf fanfiction #asoiaf fanfic #reincarnation insert #added lore #freeform #the ability to change the future but with a twist #romance is not the main theme #BAMF female OC #benjen stark #buirbaby writes #the wardens

[once-upon-a-scenario]

Icarus: Bakugou/reader, Part 5

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6 (Edited summary because I didn’t like the first one haha) In which Katsuki continues to despise you, but gets accused of being nice more often than he could appreciate. Things aren’t really going his way lately.

(Also there’s a title drop.)

(I might put this series on hiatus for a while, depending on how my feelings about it change (or don’t change)...sorry for how late this update is + my inconsistent as hell writing style, I kinda lost motivation in the middle because idk, I’m kinda dissatisfied with how it’s going so far ;-;  And I’ve now remembered that quirk training/sparring wasn’t a huge thing until post training camp arc, but ah well. I’ve already written it in so let’s just ignore that small defiance of canon XD Hope somebody out there can enjoy the story anyway, though! ^^;;;

-Eve)

_____

Katsuki doesn’t believe in red flags, the same way he doesn’t believe in cowering. He tears right through them and doesn’t look back.

You’ve made your stance clear, so this is a turning point. The next time your handkerchief turns up in his uniform pocket, he marches over to the washing machine and shoves it in. It’s only a generic, white cotton handkerchief- hopefully, his mother will mistake it for one of her own. If she doesn’t, he doesn’t care.

Because that’s what you said yourself, isn’t it? We don’t have to be.

He tolerates walking with you, answering your every word through gritted teeth but refusing to back down. Fights don’t have to be physical; the tension carries over from the sparring field to the classroom to the walks home, when Kirishima will later comment on his harshness, but shitty hair doesn’t get it and that’s fine.

(He can’t tell anyone that he has an extra mental image added to the film reel in his brain, that he’s now stuck on loop with you looking back at him from the left fork in the road, your smile sharp with a momentary flash of secret humor as your mouth forms the words,

We don’t have to be.

And the wording of that phrase is a needle in his consciousness, ever-present and irritating, because something about your tone, something about the way you worded it-

The only logical conclusion is mockery, and the only way to retaliate is not to give in.)

We don’t have to be (friends.)

True. You can be proper enemies instead.

_____

But there’s a method to dealing with this. New approach, new rules.

_____

So when he finds you in front of the vending machine after school, examining the drinks on display inside, he stops for a moment and greets you with a blunt,

“The fuck are you doing?”

You tap on the glass at the machine’s front. Do you think milk tea is preferable to boba?

“How the hell should I know anything about your stupid tea?” But he looks at the bottles, because whatever game of faux-friendliness it is that you’re playing, he’s decided not to lose. “Don’t get tapioca though, it’s fucking gross.”

Really? You seem to be in the minority there.

“Well I’m right so does it matter?”

You hum- neither agreeing nor disagreeing- and begin counting out coins. Clink, clink, clink. When the machine regurgitates two bottles, you fish them out and hold them up, squinting slightly as if to examine them.

Would you like one?

He glares. “Keep it. I don’t drink that shit.”

You shrug lightly, unfazed as you slip one bottle into your bag. Ah, well. I suppose Kirishima might want the boba, then.

It’s nice that you’re assuming Kirishima will be there- that you’ll be walking together. As if anybody asked for you to join in. Katsuki just sneers before he whirls around and stalks briskly away, making sure that he’s fast enough to leave you behind.

There’s a certain bitter, unfulfilled satisfaction in the sound of your footsteps leisurely chasing after him.

_____

“Is anybody actually looking forward to camp?” Kaminari groans as the students file out of class.

I am, you remark, entirely too brightly.

“What the fuck is there to look forward to?” Katsuki doesn’t like the way you’re falling into step beside him, as nonchalantly as if you do this every day, but he clenches his fist and bears it. “Also, don’t tell me you’re going to meet up with your shitty boyfriend again.” (Kirishima’s jagged elbow glances off his side. He ignores it.)

Well, you can never get too much training. But no. You hum, adjusting the strap of your backpack and checking your phone. I’m not meeting Takeo-kun today.

___ Not meeting Takeo-kun means you walk home alone. Katsuki kicks at the pavement as he whirls around, determined not to watch you go. It’s not as if he cares. You can be an antisocial asshole if you want to be; doesn’t matter to him. He wonders, though. What you do when you go home. What you do when you’re with your boyfriend. The things he knows of you- your horrible crumpled shirt collar, your insulting serenity, your grades and your quirk- don’t lend themselves to any image of a person outside of school. So there’s another facet of yourself you’re keeping close to your chest. It pisses him off. How many times do you need to fight someone before you figure them out? How much do you need to know before you really win? _____

The bus is bursting with chatter from all sides; Katsuki’s palms begin to tingle as he turns and tries to shout in every general direction, “Can everybody just shut the fuck up for one second?!”

Which just makes them louder.

The only exception is you, staring out the window on one side and watching the scenery flash by. There’s a weird look on your face, your brow slightly furrowed as you lean against the glass pane, apparently lost in thought, which is rude of you, considering that he’s about to decimate you again once training starts.

“Oi,” Katsuki begins, not entirely sure what he’s about to say, only knowing that your thoughtfulness pisses him off, but then you look up and meet his gaze.

Exciting, isn’t it? Seems like we’re going to have some fun.

“…’fun,’ my ass.”

He slouches back into his seat and glares at the floor, additional curse words suddenly dying in his throat. Doesn’t matter. There’s never been much of a point in picking verbal fights with you, if only because you just don’t talk enough to keep things going. He’ll beat you at camp. That should be good enough.

The soft huff of almost-laughter that drifts from your lips just pisses him off that much more.

______

When Class 1-A stumbles out on the other side of the forest after a long, hellish battle, he glances at you. There’s a cut on your forehead and sweat on your brow but you don’t seem to mind. You catch his eye and smile at him, shoulders still shaking with deep, ragged breaths. Like you’re not bothered at all.

He returns the look with a scoff. Same old, then.

______

Training is harsh.

Katsuki creates explosion after explosion from his palms as he stands, planted stubbornly on the baking earth beneath the midday sun, burning his skin and brining his clothes with sweat. It’s gross, but the fire’s getting hotter and the damage from his quirk is getting worse, which really means better.

He’d anticipated a fight, but maybe this is fine- grinding sparks from his hands and watching them get hotter, sharper, louder when they burst. Deku, the fucking bastard, isn’t going to catch up this time. And when he spars with you again, he’ll get the explosions strong enough that he won’t have to resort to fistfights anymore. That’s kind of the point of camp, after all.

______

“You hold back too much.” It’s Day Two. He spots Aizawa-sensei taking you aside and overhears his quiet words, spoken in a low tone under the rest of 1-A’s post-training chatter and groaning. “Your control over Reflection is highly advanced for your age, but you’ve taken it too far. That’s just stunting a perfectly good quirk.” You bow your head. I’ll work harder, sensei. Katsuki fixes his gaze on Pikachu and Mineta, both currently getting told off by Tiger for something or other, and wipes the sweat from his brow. He keeps his mouth in a line and his eyes steady. It’s not as if some cheesy teacher-student moment is anything he should be giving a shit about. He just feels half resentful, half spitefully vindicated by Aizawa-sensei’s comments- the implication that you could be doing better, maybe didn’t necessarily have to get knocked on your ass every time you fought him. As Aizawa-sensei wanders back off towards the Pussycats, Katsuki catches a glimpse of your face. It’s neutral, just the way it always is, eyes staring blankly after your teacher as he leaves, but there’s something off, maybe. Something in the line of your jaw that seems unnaturally stiff, making you look less calm and more just exhausted. Maybe even sad. (Like you have any fucking right to go around looking depressed?) When Class 1-A begins to head back to their base, he stalks up to you, glaring, and slows momentarily to match your dragging pace. It’s not that he particularly wants to talk to you, but he’s pissed enough by what he’s heard that he doesn’t want to avoid you, either. For reasons probably best known to yourself, you don’t object. ”You better fucking improve,” he hisses to you under his breath, quietly enough that Aizawa-sensei could miss it. “And get ready for me to kick your ass again once you do.” For some reason, the stiff lines of your face soften again, just a fraction. I will. Thank you. ”The fuck are you thanking me for?” You shrug with a knowing glance that makes him feel enraged all over again. It’s nice of you to walk with me. And by all accounts, that should make him immediately leave you for Kirishima or Ashido or even Kaminari, but because that would be losing, and he’s long since made up his mind to adapt to the game, he just curses again and sticks with you. The entire journey back is sickeningly reminiscent of the walks home.

_____

Later at night, he catches sight of you, sitting at one of the wooden tables used for dinner with a book held up to your face. The letters on the dark blue cover spell out Greek & Roman Mythology.

He could just go inside and leave you to your own devices, but, “Hey,” he calls out instead, loud and abrupt, just to gloat in the way you briefly tense before turning to face him. 

You inhale deeply, shaking your head. Hello. You surprised me. 

He snorts. “Yeah, yeah. You just gonna sit there forever?”

I’ll get inside soon, you don’t need to worry about me.

“Who said I was worried, you bastard?”

He glares. You’re still sitting silently, while he stands as close as he can get, hands shoved deep in his pockets and words swimming in his head but the right ones getting lost on the way to his mouth. There’s a brief moment of staring and he hates your practiced blankness, the way you act so goddamn collected when there’s clearly something hidden underneath that you won’t set free. It’s like going round and round in circles, stuck in this loop of a game that doesn’t end because you don’t seem to understand the rules. Though- whatever. He’s getting used to the rhythm. And though you make his blood boil on the best of days, there’s no worth in picking a fight when you’re wilting for some inexplicable reason. Have you ever heard of the story of Icarus? ...what the fuck kind of a non-answer is that? The look on his face must have said something, because, damn it all, there’s a hint of what might almost be amusement in your eyes now- he wonders if you’re even capable of looking amused without also somehow mocking him. “The fuck are you laughing at?” I’m not laughing. You tap the book lightly with a finger. If you’d like, I’ll tell you about him sometime. Just remind me that I owe you a story. “You don’t owe me anything. I don’t give a shit about some stupid story.” But he glances at the book again before he turns to leave. You’ve opened it to an illustrated page, bordered with designs almost like stained glass, a winged figure in the middle of the paper reaching up towards a gold-foil sun glimmering in the dim light. Looks pretty fucking useless, Katsuki decides as he wanders off, leaving you to your own devices. ______

The next morning, you greet him with a smile at breakfast. As he offers a glower in return and turns back to his food, he notes how you yawn your way through the entire meal, your hands shaking and fumbling as you reach for a mug. He’s not about to ask any more questions, because it’s not like he cares; you probably just stayed up the entire night reading your stupid book, and now you’re paying the price for it. He doesn’t owe anybody any explanation as to why he curses you out and hands you the mug instead of leaving you to suffer. “Somebody’s being uncharacteristically nice,” Icy-hot notes in his most insultingly deadpan voice. Katsuki reaches across the table and explodes his toast. ____ The third night of camp is a fairly straightforward situation. The test of courage is done in pairs; Class 1-A is composed of twenty one students; twenty one is an odd number. Therefore, either one group should be composed of three people, or one of these fuckers has to suck it up and go alone. “We should draw lots,” Iida suggests, adjusting his glasses as he turns to seek the Pussycats’ approval. “Or does anybody want to volunteer?” “Count me out of it!” Mineta, the fucking nuisance, already has his eyes bugging out of his tiny head in fear. “I’m not dying at fifteen, no thanks, why can’t I just go with two partners- ?!” Katsuki inhales deeply, feeling a familiar migraine coming on as he prepares to speak up- he can go alone just fine, unlike the majority of these fucking extras- when somebody else’s hand shoots up instead. He turns to look and immediately scowls. Of course. Invisible Girl and Uraraka are hanging off of your arms and practically fucking weeping as you glance at them with raised eyebrows. “Seriously? Aren’t you scared at all?” “Hell yeah, show B-2 what we’re made of-!” I’ll be ok, you say, the words directed to Mandalay. After all, it’s not as though there’s any real danger. _____ Someday, Katsuki might look back and pinpoint this as the moment when everything went to hell. He’s not superstitious- thinks superstition is a fucking ridiculous concept, has never believed in omens- but it’s almost funny how ironic your comment seems in hindsight. Not as though there’s any real danger. The words seem to echo in his head as he feels the rough, scarred hand of the villain close around his wrist and the cold mist begin to swallow him up, Deku reaching towards him from the other side, and he snarls, stay the fuck back you shitty nerd, do you honestly want to mess this up any more than it already is- The mist closes around him. (In the last few seconds, he realizes that though Deku’s accounted for- you’re not. If you die before your sparring rematch, he’s going to kill you.) ____ Shouta almost sinks to the ground in relief when his last unaccounted for student finally stumbles out of the forest. As it is, you’re the one who immediately slumps. He grabs your shoulders as gently as he can, hoisting you to your feet as he examines your face, your limbs, the tears in your clothing. Though there’s not much blood, only a few cuts here and there on your hands and cheek, you seem unnaturally dazed. For a tense second, he’s terrified as he searches your eyes for any dilation, or any sign of consciousness- god, if you’ve inhaled the gas- But then your gaze finally focuses on him and you speak, voice hoarse and ragged. Sensei- sensei- is everybody alright? Where’s- “It’s alright,” he mutters, steadying you as you begin to tremble. “Shh. Calm yourself.” You’re insistent, though, hoisting yourself up on wobbling legs. Sensei, what about Bakugou? “Bakugou’s...” He can’t say it, not now, not here, but you seem to understand anyway. A tear runs down your cheek. Shouta holds you steady as you begin to cry. You’re shaken- crying over Bakugou, a boy you barely seemed to like, is proof of that. Something happened in the forest, something that hurt you, even if it wasn’t necessarily physically. None of the other students have broken down like this so far. For the moment, though, he holds you, and chooses not to ask.

#BNHA #Bakugou Katsuki #Bakugou #Bakugou x reader #Bakugou Katsuki x reader #Katsuki Bakugou x reader #Katsuki x reader #Bakugou x you #Bakugou Katsuki x you #Bakugou x y/n #BNHA reader insert #gender neutral reader #scenario #Mod Eve

[victorianoir]

Now I'm dying to know your thoughts on Chuck and Sarah during the first half of season 3! And the second half for fun too, if you want !

As much as I adore the show, their use of the honeypot spy trope always grossed me out a lot. I’m just going to put that out there. Too many women spies especially were put in that position and the implications of Sarah in season 3 episode 1 were pretty obvious and it was gross. 

I do think that with that business aside, Sarah gets a lot of shit from particularly male fans of the show, because of how she reacts and then acts during the first half of season 3. And I get it, the whole relatable-nerd aspect of Chuck Bartowski for a lot of guy nerds who are fans (and girl/nonbinary show fans too!), so seeing him hurt, seeing him get treated “like dirt” by Sarah makes folks angry.

But holy shit, just stop for a second and look. Sarah Walker is a human being. She isn’t just an idealized hot rad spy woman who then has to shut her mouth and suck it up when she’s treated like crap. One of the biggest faults in Chuck and Sarah’s relationship from the get-go is a lack of proper communication, and the beginning of season 3 is the catalyst of that. He doesn’t tell her the decision he’s thinking about making. Neither of them actually verbalize how they feel. And suddenly, she’s like “LET’S RUN” and he’s like “YEAH OKAY” and then he waits until she’s AT THE TRAIN STATION with their tickets, ready to abandon every part of her existence, her career she’s been in since she was practically a teenager, going against everything to get him out of the clutches of the CIA and NSA which is what he’s always said he WANTS, to be with him ......... and he doesn’t explain WHY but he rejects her and leaves her standing there. 

Add to that the fact that her boss basically FORCES her back into that situation with him. Where she’s stuck with the memory of the rejection, trying to help him become a spy, something she thought he didn’t want--the opposite of what he always said he wanted, Mr I Just Want to Be a Regular Guy Again. She’s stuck watching him become a different person, a potentially worse, broken person like the CIA made her (in her mind) ... for her, she realizes. She thinks she’s broken a good man. Or at least, she’s going to be forced to support and help him BECOME broken. That’s fucking torture. The fact that people are so awful and vitriolic to her and give Chuck a pass has always infuriated me.

I mean, I’m not vilifying him, either. He’s also human and he’s imperfect. It’s just infuriating that Chuck’s allowed to be a stupid fool and misstep and make bad decisions and not know how to act/react, and go off with Hannah and HAVE SEX WITH HERRRRRRR and lead her on like that .................... He gets “poor Chuck”. Sarah has her heart broken, her soul further damaged, the one person in her life she ever truly trusted with her heart threw it back in her face, and she treats him with anger, she ends any chance of a real relationship, and she spends the first half of season 3 terrified that she’s the reason Chuck is on the same path she took...she knows better than anyone where that path leads. Should she have sat him down and told him? Should she have poured her heart out to him and told him why she’s so pissed? Maybe. If she was perfect, she might have known to do that. But she’s not perfect, and CHUCK fans don’t give her the same room to be imperfect or lash out in hurt.

I didn’t enjoy the dumb quadrangle the show did with Chuck, Sarah, Hannah, Shaw. Hannah and Shaw weren’t good characters. UNTIL Shaw went bad. He was so boring I didn’t expect it, and then BOOM, all of a sudden he was a really good villain. Like REEALLLYYYYY bad, but a great villain for the show. When he added slithery bitterness and snark to the boringness, it gelled really well. Hannah was just like .... tossed out and it was weird. Like, totally just a plot device with no dimensions or story. That was not great writing imo.

ALL OF THAT BEING SAID, I do think Chuck and Sarah needed that absolute MESS (minus the honeypot barf-worthy parts) because it forced them both to GROW THE FUCK UP. They were both still so immature, still putting each other on this podium of perfection. They needed to mess up and take one another off of the podiums, see each other as human beings who could hurt and be hurt. That’s what happens. And I commend the creators for doing that. What came out of it was absolutely fantastic character growth. Chuck becomes a confident spy who finally sees Sarah not just as this bad ass spy woman with a heart of gold he wants to be like and be with... he sees all of her, understands her value with all her flaws, and is in complete and total love with her. Sarah starts to actually understand Chuck on a way deeper level, she sees his flaws too, but she also sees he’s even better than she ever thought--not because he’s incorruptible, not because he’s perfect and a moral compass personified. He is corruptible because he’s human, he makes mistakes... but he isn’t corrupted because he’s just THAT good, even with his missteps and flaws. She falls truly and deeply in love with not just a nerd, but a good spy and a good man. And it helps her find more value in HERSELF as a result. 

Once Other Guy happened, I really thought the writers got their mojo back in stride. I mean oh my God, Other Guy, Honeymooners, and the episodes after it are absolute GOOOLLLLLLDDDDDDDDDDD. 

#nbc chuck #chuck #charah #otp: sometimes the nerd gets the girl #chuck x sarah #Chuck Bartowski #Sarah Walker #chuck season 3 #season 3 #chuck 3 #nbchuck #tv: chuck #Anonymous

[readbyred]

Just a self-insert story

It's not romantic, it has some CharTed implications but nothing involving my s/i. It's just a vent, sort of, because well it's always nice to get it all out and have someone take my side (even if I'm not really in the right here).

What you need to know about my s/i is that she’s fairly new in the office and her name is R.J because I’m red and ‘J’ seemed to sound the best in there so her middle name is Julie now.

The story is long and was written as a dialogue-stylised vent. The rest was written after I finished and the quality varies. Also there is cursing and a sappy, probably rushed ending. I hope it's not that ooc but you know how it is.

Julie rarely came out to the balcony unless she needed something from a friend of hers. Today was one of those days so when she realized that Charlotte was nowhere near in sight she made her way out. What she didn't expect was to see Ted standing there with her, also smoking. He rarely did, mostly he would just lock himself in his office and do whatever.

The two weren't talking, being completely honest Julie had realized some time before, that something must have shifted, when she first came into work they seemed pretty close but lately they distance themselves from each other. For a moment she paused unsure if she should touch on the subject that was the reason of her talk around their coworker but in the end she approached them anyways.

“Could we talk for a moment?” she leaned over standing between them and looking at the road beneath.

“Oh sure! Here or...?” Charlotte threw a quick glance at the man behind Julie who not so discretely began showing signs of interest in whatever the topic of the conversation was.

“Yeah it’s no secret. I just want to get something off my chest. It's about Adam” she said his name quietly in a suvgestive tone, as if she tried to censor herself although the three of them were the only ones around.

“What is it? I must warn you I'm not good at advice, but I’ll still listen if you want me to” giving her a weak smile the woman waited.

“We’ve been going out lately. You know how it is” Ted now fully turned his head towards them not hiding that he was in fact listening but Red didn't notice still looking at the cars passing by.

“That engineer guy? Aww, congratulations!” feeling a hand on her shoulder Julie looked up but the smile she gave Charlotte wasn't sincere, it was just tired.

“Oh, thank you it's just... Oh well no need to get all sappy, I know, but I can't help but feel some sort of way about it” she shook her head at her visibly concerned friend ” Don't get me wrong he’s lovely! I'm just being silly”

“Well, I could help you, I have some experience in relationships-”

“Yeah, lots of it...” Ted started bitterly walking up to the two talking women “Anyways, yeah sure tell us about your perfect, dream guy. What problems could you have if he’s so great”

“Ted-” Charlotte shot him a look.

“Unless he’s not. Didn't you say he went out for a ‘business meeting’ again?”

“Yeah, about that...” Julie looked down.

“What about it?” Charlotte turned her attention away from their coworker yet again.

“So” Julie began “I don't know what we are, it's all complicated lately”

“Oh I'm sorry to hear that, I've been through rough times with my Sam and I could help you some or recommend a professional?” as soon as Charlotte said the word ‘professional’ Ted opened his mouth say something but quickly shut it.

“I appreciate that but I'm afraid it's far beyond just rough. He’s great! Things are just getting bizarre. I mean we haven't been properly dating since last year before I came to work here, you know? He was so thoughtful and, oh, so charming and goodness gracious, I was awful. I broke things off” her mood shifted from nervous to upset, fiddling with her hands she continued to intensely observe the cars passing by “He didn't take that well, I can't blame him cause I know I shouldn't have done it. He was sad a lot and it made him so... Angry at times, at our mutual friends and all. He told me he doesn't wanna see me, to get out of his life. We’ve known each other since diapers, I know I deserved everything he said it just... Hurt, you know? Oh how selfish I must sound!”

“But you two are still talking aren't you? So it all must have been fixed?” Charlotte offered her a smile “Me and my husband don't argue that openly, I think, so I might not be able to relate here but if you’ll tell us more I'm sure we can figure something out”

“Really thank you. Both of you. Here I am taking away your lunch break with all my silly ramblings” shaking her head a bit she gave both of them the same sad smile she had before. It was then when they noticed she seemed to have shrunken in herself, not only tired but also strangely worried.

“No problem, it's not a big deal I'm sure” her coworker tried to reassure glancing up “Right?”

“Yeah, yeah could you just move on with the story?” it seemed like it took all his inner strength for Ted not to leave although neither of the women understood why would that be. Charlotte knew he was like that sometimes, when she tried to talk about Sam with him it went pretty similar. That didn't mean however she understood more of it than Julie did “You broke up. He started acting like a jerk”

“Oh he didn't, I had no right to hurt him like that! And he’s not a jerk, far from it. He’s so thoughtful, so protective. Everyone I know wants nothing more for us than to be together. You know how I am... I get a lot of silly ideas, I can get pretty nasty, that you probably noticed. Adam doesn't like that one bit, I embarrass him a whole lot doing things without asking and all that. My friends noticed that too, they say I'm much more pleasant when I'm with him, he tames me, if you will. I know I give him a lot of crap for that, sometimes I feel like I either agree with him or am just wrong and he doesn't take my suggestions to heart but we talked recently, this weekend actually, he made me realize that I need improvement and-” she didn't look neither of her colleagues in the eye. Charlotte understood, she got nervous like that too and decided to give the redhead some space “here I go ranting about details again don't I? Oh, well, on with the story you say? Well, he stopped talking - I was a wreck. But gradually - when he came back from his business trip after summer - I saw him around Beanies a lot. Always on my lunch break, you know? And we got to talking and he asked what are we. I was surprised, I told him that we’re no longer together, he asked how so and one thing led to another he said it was just a break! I was... Surprised? But it was so nice to see him so happy. And Zoe told me to get him back, then. And I was so awful - I told her I don't want to live like that anymore. With him. But luckily we didn't stop hanging out, me and Adam that is. At first I was grossed out to be treated as such, afterall I said I want to be single. But he kept on pushing and that way around December we sort of got back”

“Why didn't you tell us that, congratulations!” Charlotte’s weak cheer brought a small smile on Julie’s face but it soon vanished when the other one of her two friends spoke up.

“Yeah, congratulations for dating a pushy asshole-” Ted paused frowning even more as if he said something wrong “...you could do better than that”

He turned to leave frustrated with Julie.

“Please stay” Julie fully turned from the railing and gave him a pleasing look “I... I'll get to the end soon, I want your perspective on that as well”

“Ugh fine... Just don't expect me to take this douchebag’s side”

“It’s nice to get to hear your opinion as well. As selfish as it sounds I think like that too sometimes, it's... Refreshing not to be in the wrong all the time even if I am” shaking her head she changed the subject “Oh, right! As I was saying. We had a talk then and he asked me what would I do if he started seeing someone. After all if I don't consider us a pair then he may. I told him that I'm fine with that, after all I started this mess, can't blame him if him for getting lonely. And I'm not a saint you see. Goodness gracious don't give my that look Char, I never cheated! I just... Going on and off Tinder, just chatting. It never got any further I swear, I felt so terrible. Anyways, after he told me that he got very... Touchy. And romantic. And I know I ruined the mood but after a few hours, I asked what are we. And he said he could take me back. And no matter how awful I sound I need to admit as wonderful as he is I don't think I want it. And I told him that I want to focus on work”

“But you don't?” it wasn't a secret that R.J wasn't avoiding relationships, not to the point of denying one in favour of work.

“But I don't. I know he’s amazing but I’m not happy. I‘ trying but I'm not. So I said that it’s because of work, I don't know what would he do if I told him the truth! And he didn't really get the work thing either, he’s the traditionalistic type. But! He said he shouldn't have told me about the other woman which is good I think” she bit her lip seemingly gaining a bit of life back “But what is that supposed to mean? That she’s just a concept he’s been contemplating or a human but I shouldn't know? I don't know... Anyways I asked him about what he wants. He’ll take some time to think and for now we agreed I can be sort of his... With him that is. Not that he has to call me his girlfriend. He just can get me places and I don't date or make him jealous with my make friends and stuff”

And with that Julie finished realizing just then that her hands were shaking a bit. It often happened in situations like that, stressing ones like opening up.

“Um, it does sound complicated. I might have to look for the contacts to get you set but you can make it work. I got this good therapist” Ted scoffed “he could give you some directions. Give me a minute and I’ll get back to you I'll forget about it if I’ll do that later, you know”

And with that she rushed out forgetting to get rid of the cigarette she was holding.

“You’ve been awfully quiet” gaining some of her cool back along with colour on her face, Julie leaned back cocking her head and looking at the man in front of her curiously.

“Why do you put up with this? Don't you see this guy’s a duchebag?” he asked frustrated “And don't try to tell me you love him, you said it’s not true”

“I don't. But he has to put up with me, it's a fair deal” she shrugged noticing him grow even more angry at the situation

“Well, I don't know?” he groaned “Maybe find someone who doesn't have to put up with you”

“Look, I-”

“Found it!” Charlotte came back holding her phone with a random phone number opened up on the screen

“Oh thank you a lot! Let me save it on the phone” soon she was done with the whole process “I won't hold you much longer, I'm sure you have work to do”

“Dont worry about it, a little break is always needed. Speaking of which want to go out with us after work? It's going to be Sylvia and Bill, me, Melissa and Ted. It's just for coffee, you know”

“I...” on Fridays she always hung out with Adam, even before things got messy. Looking back at Charlotte to give her phone back she paused. Maybe one day off wouldn't be so bad? “I will, it’s right after work?”

The woman nodded.

“Count me in then” opening the door she paused again, feeling much calmer and lighter after confiding in her coworkers “Oh and you’re finished, right Ted? I need to get you some papers, so stop by my desk, alright?”

“Seriously? Fuck Sylvia, I wash my hands! And besides it’s my office and my right to-”

She didn't hear what was that exactly that he had the right to do, closing the door and laughing to herself. And yes, maybe her love life was a mess but it didn't matter because it seemed that along with her new job she also found friends.

#f/o #self shipping #selfshipping #self ship #selfship #💛

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really THAT Bad?

Gigli is perhaps one of the most infamous films ever made. Originally to be a straight mob film brought to the world by Martin Brest, director of classics such as Beverly Hills Cop, Midnight Run, and Meet Joe Black, the executives decided to do what they do best: meddle. The film was then changed into a rom-com vehicle for stars Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez to bank on their wildly popular real-life romance. Unfortunately for the execs, there wouldn’t be much to cash in, since the film bombed to the tune of less than a tenth of its budget. And that would be one thing if it were merely a bomb, that wouldn’t be something worth discussing to any great degree, but this movie goes beyond that.

This film has widely been panned as one of the worst films ever made, bar none. It frequently finds its way onto “worst films of all time” lists, was mocked as a side effect of computer viruses in Weird Al’s song “Virus Alert,” and is just in general regarded as a terrible, terrible film. Ben Affleck certainly thinks so; according to Matt Damon, his eye twitches when the film is mentioned, and according to Kevin Smith, bringing this movie up is a surefire way to end any argument you might be having with Affleck. It’s not surprising he feels this way about the film either, since this film’s failure helped derail his career until he managed to bounce back later in the 2000s and 2010s with better roles and some great directing gigs. But here and now, in the year 2020, far removed from the media craze surrounding the “Bennifer” romance and all the craziness this film had to offer, I must ask an important question:

Is it really THAT bad?

The Good

So what’s really shocking here is that there are some genuinely great performances, though sadly most of them only last a single scene. I think the one that most people go to is Christopher Walken as a cop who wanders into Gigli’s apartment and rambles on for a few minutes, eventually going off about pie before walking out of the film, never to be seen again. It brings to mind such memorably awkward one-scene appearances such as his minor role in Pulp Fiction with how utterly bizarre it is. As much as I love Walken, though, I have to say the real scene-stealing one-scene wonder here is Al Pacino as the mob boss Starkman, who manages to make his mark on the film with but a single scene under his belt. He comes across as genuinely affable and yet completely unhinged, cheerfully discussing facts about the human thumb before blowing the brains out of an idiotic subordinate and gleefully showing us how to be truly intimidating. It’s easily the best performance in the movie.

Well, it would be at least if not for Justin Bartha of National Treasure fame. He plays a mentally handicapped man named Brian, and while he’s certainly playing into the Hollywood ideas of the mentally handicapped, he doesn’t ever feel totally offensive or cringey. The fact he’s never really treated as the butt of the jokes and actually gets a relatively happy ending is pretty good too. Bartha definitely did a good job with this character who I feel would likely be horribly offensive in the hands of others.

The movie is also genuinely amusing at a few points, and not entirely in an ironic sense. Scenes where Ricki intimidates some punks at a restaurant are amusing, but sadly they are few and far between. Ironic enjoyment can definitely be gleaned though, as there’s a lot of awkward dialogue or just strange and ridiculous scenes (again: Christopher Walken and Al Pacino).

The Bad

So weirdly enough, the biggest issue with this film is actually the two leads, which is even more baffling because they were dating in real life. I guess the movie is something of a cautionary tale detailing how some couples just don’t function as well onscreen as they do offscreen. Anyway, let’s look at their characters one at a time:

First is Ben Affleck’s Gigli, the title character. Now, at the start of the film, Gigli is your average mob enforcer, but as soon as he meets the self-described lesbian Ricki, he becomes what is known as a

In fact, Gigli might be one of the biggest, saddest simps of all time, because the girl he’s after is supposedly a lesbian (we’ll get to that in a bit). Affleck managed to play this character type far better in the film Chasing Amy, but he had the luck of being directed by Kevin Smith in his prime with a script that wasn’t forced to shoehorn in a popular tabloid romance. Here, his every romantic interaction becomes awkward, and his declaration of love is just sad, creepy, and pathetic. What’s worse, in the end, he seemingly gets the girl, a stark contrast from Chasing Amy. It comes off as really gross and cringeworthy.

Then we get to Ricki. While she’s written a lot better for the most part, the fact she is referred to exclusively as a lesbian for the entire movie is a bit… odd. It leads to so many unfortunate implications, cringeworthy moments, and perhaps one of the most uncomfortable sex scenes ever, and all of this could have been avoided if the film had stopped calling her a lesbian and used a neat little word that begins with a B: BISEXUAL. It is abundantly clear Ricki is a bisexual from the point she meets Gigli’s mother, but this possibility is never brought up or discussed at any point whatsoever in the film. Ricki is a lesbian as far as this film is concerned, even after she has sex with Gigli and decides to run off and start a life with him in the end.

The lack of romantic chemistry between these two makes all the scenes that are flirtatious between them come off as awkward, and frankly there’s just something nasty about a film where a guy basically pesters a “lesbian” until she relents and has sex with him, something only exacerbated by Ricki saying “It’s turkey time. Gobble gobble” to get him to engage in intercourse with her. I’m guessing there was a similar dynamic between them in earlier drafts that had this creepy romance shoehorned in when the execs decided to make this a “Bennifer” vehicle. It’s unfortunate because for the most part, the two play off of each other really well, but when it comes time for the lovey-dovey stuff, they just drop the ball hard.

Is It Really THAT Bad?

This movie has a legendary reputation that it most definitely does not live up to. Gigli is honestly an okay, if still trashy, film. I would not argue this movie is high art, or even great, but it’s certainly not unwatchably bad and certainly veers closer into the waters of “so bad it’s good” than genuinely horrible. The awkward line deliveries and solid performances from side characters certainly help keep this film afloat, even when the awful romance shoved into this goofy gangster film tries its hardest to sink it.

With an IMDB score of 2.5, it currently sits at #19 on the Bottom 100, and frankly I feel that’s an overstatement born of resentment from when the film first came out. Watching it now, in 2020, it certainly isn’t the most horrible thing to ever grace my screen; I think a score more in the mid to low 5 range would be a much better fit for it, maybe even a 5.5 if I was feeling especially generous. Again, I can’t really say this movie is great, or amazing, or even a must-see, but it’s amusing and not nearly as bad as I was led to believe for years. If you’re going to watch it, definitely don’t watch it for the romance, because this movie fails at the “rom” part of “rom-com.” It is, however, pretty good at the “com” part, intentionally or otherwise.

#Is it really that bad? #review #movie review #Gigli #Ben Affleck #Jennifer Lopez #rom-com #crime movie

[skvaderarts]

Soliloquy Chapter Five: Adrift

You can check out the Masterlist Here for more links to places to read!

Otherwise, you can read the new chapter below. Enjoy!

And sorry it was late today! Family got int he way!

Chapter Five: Adrift 

Note: Once again, Mallovarwen and Skylarmorgan1899 are my emotional support reviewers, and reading your comments always puts a smile on my face. Thanks a bunch! I’m always happy to read everyone’s comments and feedback, so feel free to send them my way. I don’t care if it’s just a smiley face emoji. Now back to the story!

The overhead fan that hung from the double-height ceiling spun lazily as it wafted barely chilled air throughout the front office. A nearly finished box of pizza sat next to a pile of now negligible utility bills and empty drink bottles on the desk. Despite the fact that the music was still booming loudly throughout the space, Dante had slumped onto the front desk, his arms hanging over the far side facing the front door. The Youngest Son of Sparda had dozed off shortly after his troublemaking older brother and nephew had vacated the premises. It hadn’t been until they left that he realized how much he needed a good nap.

At seemingly the precise moment that Dante entered deep sleep, the front double doors slammed open and knocked against their respective sides of the wall. Dante jolted slightly at the sound but didn’t make an effort to raise his head and see who had just come into the building. He already knew. This wasn’t the first time this had happened. Not by a longshot.

“So you both made it back, hu,” Dante inquired, the desk muffling his speech as he laid face down on it,” I was starting to think that Nico had finally crashed the van and killed you ya.”

Standing in the doorway was none other than Nero and Vergil, the two of them looming over Dante from across the room like gargoyles. Nero crossed the room and leaned over the desk, trying to rouse Dante from his restful state. The older man didn’t exactly feel like snapping out of his groggy delirium when Nero probed him, however.

Nero stood back and shook his head. The gravity of the time constraints they were under made him feel uneasy, to say the least. “Come on, get your ass up. We need to get going!”

Dante rolled his head to the side to make blurry eye contact with the younger descendant of Sparda. What was he going on about now? He then glanced over at the clock in another part of the room, exhaling in discontent. “And where the hell are we supposed to be going at almost ten at night?” Dante asked in a mixture of distaste and disinterest. He had been taking a perfectly good nap and now it was ruined.

From his place standing against the far wall of the shop next to the now-closed doors with his arms folded across his chest, Vergil chimed in. “Apparently, to Fortuna. I would have never seen myself going back there, but here we are.”

Dante sat up at his brother’s statement, now more curious and perplexed than irritated at them both. “And why would we go there?”

By this point, Nero was pacing aimlessly in front of Dante’s desk. He was not accustomed to being this out of his depth in a situation, and the time pressure only made things worse. At least when his arm had been cut off, there were more definite variables in the situation. Like the guarantee of pain, suffering, and the risk of bleeding to death. But using some sort of arcane anchor to pull a soul from Purgatorio, or limbo, or hell, or whatever this place was called and risking basically everything? Everything about this situation was supremely stress-inducing. He barely understood the concept of what they were even going to use the book for when they got it. All he knew is that they needed it because it was an item that V clearly cherished and that made it vital to this situation. And somehow it had made even less sense when he had tried to explain things to Nico. Magnolia would have to explain it to her later.

Clearly realizing that his hypertension riddled son wasn’t going to answer his brother’s question, Vergil interjected again. “We need to recover something important and we have a rather short window of time to accomplish our goal.”

Setting aside the fact that Vergil has just used the word “our” for probably the first time in their entire time that Dante had known him, the youngest Son of Sparda stood up at his desk and stretched, yawning. After he had cracked all of his bones, Dante shoveled down the last sliver of pizza in the box on his desk and turned back to face his clearly disgusted twin. “Alright, so how are we gonna get there? Doesn’t the ferry stop after dark?”

Nero nodded. “The last one runs in less than an hour. Which is another reason you need to get your ass in the van so we can go before we miss it!”

Dante chuckled under his breath at Nero’s comment. He was ever the firebrand of the family, no doubt about that. He didn’t respond, but he did decide to reach back and grab his blade off of the back wall. While Fortuna was relatively a cakewalk after the events of the last while, it was still better to be safe than sorry. “Alright, but this better not be the day she decides to drive through a building or something. I’m in enough debt as it is.”

Vergil raised an eyebrow slightly at the statement. “I should look into that one this is over. But Nero is not incorrect. Time is of the essence.”

As the eldest Son of Sparda turned and headed out the door Dante visibly paled. Nero shook his head and snickered as he walked towards the front door with his uncle. “200 bucks says he’s going to beat the living shit out of you when he finds out how far in debt you are, Dante.”

Dante shook his head and passed through the threshold of the front property. “Considering the fact that I still owe Patty those ten ice cream cones, making a bet with me isn’t going to do you any favors.”

Nero mulled over the comment for a moment in confusion before deciding that he’d just ask another time. Right now, they had much more important things to take care of.

~-~

To say that Vergil’s brilliant plan to simply use their Devil Triggers to fly to Fortuna instead of just taking the ferry had been a bust would be a gross understatement. As a general rule, none of them were willing to, under normal circumstances, reveal their true nature to innocent bystanders (unless you counted V…), but there had been no inconspicuous places to trigger at the waterfront, and doing so in the van was an explosive accident waiting to happen, so they had been forced to board the vessel. It wasn’t a huge ferry since cars weren’t exactly used commonly in Fortuna, but no one was going to comment on Nico’s driving abilities or the fact that she was probably the only person going to this island who knew how to fix a car. The vessel was mostly used to transport goods back and forth between the island and the mainland, but it hadn’t taken much effort to get on board at the last minute once one of the former had recognized Nero. For better or worse, seemingly everyone on the island knew who the young white-haired man was. This just happened to be one of the only times that that had been a beneficial thing.

Given the circumstances, Nico was the only one excited to be returning to Fortuna. The young woman missed Kyrie’s cooking and it had been a little while since she’d had the opportunity to terrorize the little ones. Before today, she and Nero had been out of town checking on things in Redgrave city, and before that, they had been out of town doing a mission for a client in Enamel City. Things had been tricky lately. After everything that had happened, the local government on the mainland had addressed the public, announcing an investigation into the matter. Catching the eye of the local authorities didn’t seem like a great idea. But they had left Fortuna alone, at least for the time being.

Nero leaned on the rail looking out across the water. The young devil hunter let out a steadying sigh. Given the fact that they were on the last boat for the night and were going to have to stay the night on the island, it was best that he calm down now as to not upset his family when he arrived at home. The boat would be docking soon, so he had come here to enjoy a last moment of reprieve before they disembarked.

As if carried forward with the breeze, Nero suddenly felt another presence near him. The young descendant of Sparda snuck a glance over his shoulder only to see Vergil walk past him. His father leaned against one of the nearby poles, leaving ample space between them. But somehow Nero could tell that despite the distance between them, Vergil had come here to say something. Or maybe he was just losing his grip and Dante had gotten on his nerves again. Either way, he didn’t spare it much thought. After all, he was trying to relax, and what could be better for his state of mind right now than salty sea air and solitude?

“... So who is Kyrie?”

Nero could practically feel the nerves in his brain pop lose and the neurons die as his brain came to a screeching halt. Vergil seriously wanted to ask him about that right now? This was the furthest from a relaxed topic that he could get at the moment.

To Nero’s continued horror, Vergil briefly smirked before turning slightly away from him. He no longer needed his young son to answer the question. The implications of their relationship were written across his now blush covered face.

Vergil stepped away from the pole and slightly closer to Nero, even if only by a few feet. He folded his arms and leaned over the railing, quietly captivated by the black sea before him. In a way, they reminded the eldest twin of his time in the underworld. Although not quite as luminescent, the mirror shine on the water’s surface was reminiscent of the quicksilver river that Dante had so foolishly questioned if he could drink from earlier that same day. Vergil shook his head silently. Dante would be dead within a few hours if left to his own devices in the underworld.

Nero rubbed his neck in discomfort before looking out across the water again. Vergil couldn’t make eye contact with him if he was faced out across the water sea. Or so he presumed. In all honesty, Vergil’s immense strength and power made Nero question just what he was capable of. He hadn’t forgotten how powerful Urizen had been and he never would. “She’s my, um… girlfriend. Why?”

The younger man hadn’t intended his response to come off so awkward. As he watched Vergil nodded in amused satisfaction, he decided that the best way to get out of this conversation and reclaim his now tarnished reputation was to redirect the question.

“Anyway, while we’re talking about family, where the hell is my mother? Do V and I even have the same parents?”

Despite the fact that Nero didn’t ask the question with any level of malice in his voice, Vergil seemed like he wanted to avoid his son at all costs. He leaned further over the rail, seemingly keying into Nero’s avoidance method and using it to his advantage and stayed quiet. Nero wasn’t sure if he was being ignored by his father or was thinking, but he decided to give Vergil a few more seconds before he got confrontational about it.

Vergil shifted and stood back up straight, his hands resting on the rail. He spared a glance at Nero, half looking at him but still not fully facing him. Nero gave him a sideways look, insinuating that he was still waiting for an answer and that he wasn’t exactly bursting with patience. After an awkward moment that felt more like a standoff, Vergil turned to full-face Nero. Despite his discomfort, the eldest Son of Sparda had never been one to back down from anything, even in situations when it most suited him. Call it a fatal flaw, but it was simply the way he had always been. At least as an adult. “The two of you have different mothers... And I have no idea where they currently are.”

Nero nodded slowly, quietly taking in the information he had just been provided. He was not shocked that Vergil didn’t know where either of them currently lived. After all, he had been in the underworld for probably as long as Nero had been alive. It made sense that he didn’t exactly have them on speed dial. Knowing Vergil, he probably didn’t even use a phone. But that did raise a few questions, some for now and some for later.

“... So do you know which one of us is older, then? Or did you even know you were related before all this bullshit started?” Nero asked sarcastically as he unfolded his arm and placed his hands in his pockets. He was starting to see why his uncle never seemed shocked when his older twin told him something else despicable or unbelievable that he had done. Although, this didn’t seem quite like the other times. Nero couldn’t quite place what it was. Maybe it was his father’s demeanor, his reluctance to speak on the matter, or maybe what he had said back at Magnolia’s house had changed his view towards him a bit, but Nero couldn’t quite shake the feeling that Vergil might actually regret what he had done to the two of them. He wasn’t sure if the eldest Son of Sparda was capable of apologizing, but Nero was willing to be surprised.

Vergil seemed to be becoming used to Nero’s little jabs at him, as the comment didn’t seem to affect him in the slightest. “I knew about him long before I knew about you, but that is... an exceedingly complicated matter for another time,” Vergil glanced in the direction of the van where Nico and Dante currently resided,” As for your second question, you’re younger. I’ve known his mother longer than yours.”

The eldest Son of Sparda paused for a moment, giving his next words careful thought. “... I will look into their locations after this is done. I make no promises.”

As if on cue, the horn for the ferry blew, signaling that it was time to disembark. Vergil headed back towards the van. It seemed that this conversation was done for now. Nero seemed to understand that and opted not to press the issue, for now, opting to head back to the van instead. After all, the ferry was going to dock and then return to the mainland again, with or without them on it. They needed to go. After all of this magic and mayhem was behind them, they would have all the time in the world to talk. That would be the time for concrete answers. As the sun fully fell behind the water blanketed horizon, one thing was certain. A reckoning was coming.

OMG, I AM SO SORRY THAT THIS IS SLIGHTLY LATE!! It’s just past midnight, but family matters came up, so I had to set aside my writing for the majority of the day. Also, this is a shorter chapter than normal by about 1k words or so. My bad! The next chapter is going to be much longer though. Much, much longer. And a lot harder to write lol! But look forward to Friday. This chapter is going to be fun hehe! And once again, thank you for your lovely comments!

#Soliloquy #Devil May Cry #Devil May Cry 5 #Devil May Cry V #Post Devil May Cry 5 #Dante Devil may Cry 5 #Dante Devil May Cry V #Dante Devil May Cry #Dante Sparda #Vergil Devil May Cry 5 #Vergil Devil May Cry V #Vergil Devil May Cry #Vergil Sparda #Nero Devil May Cry 5 #Nero Devil May Cry V #Nero Devil may Cry #Nero Sparda #V Devil May Cry 5 #V Devil May Cry V #V Devil May Cry #V #V Sparda #Vitale #Vitale Sparda #Post DMC5 #Post DMCV #DMC5 #DMC #DMCV

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

uhhh isn't the whole 'slapping some sense into them' thing from Makoto's confidant a pretty common trope though? like there's Mitsuru and Yukari, Yu and Yosuke in their 10 rank, Louis and Legosi's fight in Beastars, various shounen series, etc. Are those examples different or do ya just not like the trope itself?

Bad trope, but specifically handled bad in P3/5′s case. Makoto and Mitsuru/Yukari event are bad examples of it. Yu/Yosuke....it’s not really a “good” example but it’s not bad. Louis and Legosi/shounen in general....(I’m assuming we’re just talking first season) it’s a bit....yeah....different....Former two bad (and the trope I dislike the most), latter two “good” (not as problematic, usually)....cause they are different tbh......probably cause they are diff tropes.

Under the cut cause length

So let’s go over the slap thing. I might refer to each Makoto/Yukari/Mitsuru/Yosuke stuff as P5/3/4 so just a heads up. 

(I will say I think if I compared the two girl slap scenes between YukaMitsu and Mako, YukaMitsu one is “better” due to it being in private and not as....big of a slap, it’s still shitty tho) I’m not a fan of Yukari and Mitsuru as friends (let alone as gfs) tbh, mostly impart of this scene. I do not think that slap was a good foundation, and I think it should’ve gone in the opposite direction. Tbh I think it should’ve made things worse. Mitsuru is at her lowest point, she’s literally had 14 goddamn days to process her father’s death ON TOP OF her student council duties, and dealing with her company (on top of stuff happening behind the scenes such as apparently being engaged). She has all these adult responsibilities thrust onto her, and she’s had 14 days to deal with it. She’s processing her grief and she’s in a “what’s the point phase.” Then Yukari comes along, a girl who’s....kinda been giving her grief up to this point, yeah Mitsuru has a right to say “what’s the point in us being friends” or even being friends in the first place, you’ve been kind of an ass to her the whole game Yukari, regardless of you apologizing (no one needs to accept an apology). You haven’t been close. So with all that context, pretend you’re the one who’s stressed, in the middle of a fresh grieving process, with someone they aren’t exactly close to, and when they question if their life has meaning.....How would you feel if someone slapped you? I’d be like “Ex-fucking-scuse me????” Like it comes off as Yukari feeling Mitsuru isn’t grieving fast enough for her, like she hasn’t had a decade to process her dad’s death (which is a fault of Yukari’s character that’s never addressed, it’s her way or the high way, she forces her emotions on other people and her being friends with Mitsuru after this feels like a reward for bad behavior). I’d be livid if I was Mitsuru, a slap is not what she needs. You can just passionately shout her speech to Mitsuru, it’s a helluva lot better than literally hitting someone while they are emotionally vulnerable. Her speech is freaking just fine without a gd slap to the face, and ruins the scene. Esp when Yukari gets to have a hissy fit earlier in the game for a similar crisis (but you know, with the context she’s already come to terms with his death for the past 10 years, while Mitsuru’s only had about 14 days), but you don’t see anyone slapping her to get a hold of herself? Even tho, she’s even more emotionally unstable at a certain part, and lashes out, but no we can’t slap her. But she feels justified in slapping someone else? Bullshit. (btw yeah she says sorry but it’s so blase I’m like “really? just a quick ‘srry’ and that’s it?”) 

Then there’s Makoto just....freaking....this girl. Giant walking contradiction, will be characterized opposite of previous characterization just to fit the freaking scene. Makoto will be “hot headed who doesn’t think” for the Kane arc and Slapping eiko, but she’s like 100% chilled to the bone for the rest of the game. Which is it? Which is it P5? Can she make plans and think calmly or can she not? You can’t have both, and if it’s the latter she shouldn’t be in that position. *inhales* ANYWAY! Let’s look at this whole thing from Eiko’s perspective.

Eiko’s feels like she has nothing going for in her life but Tsukasa, she loves him, and she thinks he loves her. She has a friend in Makoto, the perfect girl who has everything Eiko wants. But now that friend wants to take away the one thing SHE has and that SHE cares about??? She keeps saying things but doesn’t show proof iirc (except when she tricked Tsukasa, but she doesn’t give Eiko enough time to digest it and it’s all happening so fast, I think she mentions the text she gets from him but she doesn’t show the texts to Eiko, regardless Mako has another avenue to explore...which I’ll get to). Of course Eiko is confused, why is the girl that is perfect want to take something from her? She’s at her lowest, yeah not the same kind of low as Mitsuru, but she’s not in a good place. So how do you think it feels, to be slapped HARD and IN PUBLIC? And this isn’t like news to Makoto, she told her all this shit in the previous rank. Makoto’s had time to mull it over, so on top of all that, Eiko also feels like “She knows how I feel yet she’s still trying to ruin the one good thing I have??? I don’t understand.” And yeah she’s starts lashing out, but Makoto isn’t exactly handling it well either. Mako’s speech is just fine withtout the gd slap, but the slap brings it down for her character (which I’ll get to after the plan) Which brings me to her plan.....

So then there’s Makoto’s plan.....she really doesn’t have a back up plan? An obvious one? One that actually doesn’t go against their MO....you know changing his heart (INB4 ‘but silly they need his yadda yadda” yeah and we’ve done mementos bosses where we need to dig up dirt, it’s not exactly that hard esp with like Ichiko and Lala and just the general area, we know where he is we just need a full/real name, we know more info about him then most targets it’s not that bad). So why do this whole public thing? Why not meet privately with the receipts? WHY EVEN BOTHER WITH THAT AT ALL WHEN YOU CAN JUST CHANGE HIS HEART! And no this isn’t “you can’t rely on heart changing all the time” the game is ass at that message to start with so why beat around the bush??? Futaba gets help 3 gd times (I’m not saying they shouldn’t have, but if it’s a personal thing I don’t think the thieves are against it). Like listen, why.....don’t we change his heart? This isn’t about “oh why do that when we can solve it another way” no we’re past that, this guy is and has been preying on girls. Why the hell are we letting him run around???? Y’all give Mika shit (and tbf I’ve seen people give Mako’s CoOp the same shit for what I’m stating now), but 1) we didn’t find out about her shitty behavior till the last min and 2) she was caught and the situation was resolved without the need of a change of heart.....Tsukasa is neither of these things, he’s 1) a main antagonist throughout the CoOp 2) while he gets away from Eiko, he’s left to his own devices to hurt other people later (except the anime apparently? but we are talking about the game). Like seriously, change his heart, you help all the girls+Eiko, you can then comfort her without you know the public embarrassment. Hell if you want to keep the freaking speech from the slap scene you can! At least she’s not slapped! Just don’t slap her! Both P3/5 can get by with these scenes without NEEDING the slap! It’s not necessary and god freaking forbid people imitate it IRL (I’ve seen it happen first hand, people are not friends after that kinda BS).

There’s also the fact she and Eiko make amends after off screen and it’s like???? I don’t believe Eiko would go back to Makoto after that sort of public humiliation tbh. I need to see this “apology” (esp since Mako was soooo great at hers the first time with ANne after you know dragging them into the Mafia.....of course I’m being sarcastic, her apology was so gaslighty and her trying to get them to drop it like??? no you are being called out for good reason) And then there’s Makoto post slap, and she’s like ‘oh man was that ok???” like no bitch it wasn’t and the fact you get POINTS FOR ENCOURAGING HER???? Like I always say a negative thing and make her know what she did was wrong. And yeah she’s like “oh geez I didn’t mean for that :(” just.....sigh....doesn’t matter what you mean, you did it.....you have to own it......*inhales*

Now for the unfortunate implications, which if I was a Yukari/Makoto fan I wouldn’t be happy with how Atlus handled them. Already talked about Yukari (her way or the high way, butting in, gets rewarded for bad behavior yadda yadda), Makoto is similar. She’s just more bossy about it (cause she’s older probably, Yukari had it reign it into going behind Mitsu’s back cause of the whole senpai/kohai thing). But the slap reinforces Makoto’s....a bit.....physically abusive with her friends..... I don’t think that was the intent, but it’s an unfortunate implication. Who does Makoto hit (that’s not a shadow)? Ryuji (twice counting Royal), and Eiko (former for “comedy~!” and the latter for drama, yes she’s joined by the other girls in one of the events but she’s still been physical more than them). She also is known for threatening violence on top of that or just being ~intimidating~ (which hits differently when you’ve develop a streak of hitting friends rather than just someone who doesn’t do that?) And yeah it’s for comedy.....but after awhile.....ergh....(esp when they do it once for drama). It doesn’t help she’s also the damsel a lot, and literally can’t fight back against people who have ill will over her (told you she’s a contradiction), or just doesn’t bother putting up a fight tbh. Which.....then sends a message she...only hits her friends cause....she can take them on? kinda thing..... it just....makes me feel gross tbh. It’s just BS that Chie gets labeled a physically abusive person cause she “hit Yosuke in the balls” when she DIDN’T, it was all a misunderstanding! But when actually Makoto does it’s ok???? 

Yukari and Makoto have a lot in common, they get away with a lot of shit, their way or the high way a lot of the times, esp when they do things that’s....really rude and mean and shitty but hey I guess it’s ok with Atlus~! (for a game series that’s like “you are responsible for your own actions and the consequences it brings” it sure likes to let certain chars slide with their actions~! :D :/) It’s such a shame with P3 that we have Fuuka and Natsuki, while not explored a lot (such a shame) is written a lot better than YukaMitsu/MakoAnne/MakoEiko friendships. And they do it without the need for a slap, and the aggressor actually gives a legit and sincere apology??? All on their own??? All because they feel guilty and want to make amends ON THEIR OWN!!!! And actually takes responsibility too???? I’m usually neutral on them but seriously they handle this issue like fine wine compared to the other three. 

Ok let’s go over Yu/Yosuke. So when I say it’s not good but not bad, I mean like....you shouldn’t do it irl cause it’s dumb....but like....the message is a lot better. P4, it’s consensual. Yosuke ASKS to be hit. See “ASKS!” And they knowingly go in for a brawl/sparring match. Because they want to. Eiko and Mitsuru didn’t ask to be slapped, this isn’t an equal footing. P4′s is. P3/5 is someone who’s emotionally vulnerable getting slapped by someone that claims to care (and the friendship is rocky at best and barely formed at worse) and then somehow coming out as friends???? P4, strong bond, very good friends, consensual.

As for Beastars.....again I’m assuming we’re talking about their fight in S1 after the one person (vague for spoilers) gets kidnapped.......here’s the thing.....they....aren’t exactly friends. I guess if I had the beat up/slap trope as a spectrum, this would be on the opposite side of P4 (with P3/5 being in the middle). You don’t want to be in the middle, I think it leads to unfortunate implications (only time I can think of it being ok is if they deal with the fact they were slapped realistically, calling the person out). 

So on one end we have P4, strong friendship, it’s a consensual fight, it’s even (there’s no ....I guess the best word would be “power imbalance”). The other end is Beastars, they aren’t exactly friends, this fight is like....a brawl cause there is bad blood now, tbh it’s just a normal fight fkldsajflkjf; which like is fine, they become friends later, but in a similar sense this fight is even too (I mean not physically but like they are both like “LET’S GOOOOOOOO!”). But in the middle it’s the “we’re new or kinda friends but I’mma slap them when the person is down because I think they need a ‘wake up call’” is bullshit, it’s not even, one person gets slapped and the slapper somehow gets the friendship??? Like how does any of this work??? Only good ending to that is the person really giving a good ass apology or there not being a friendship. 

The only real time I can think of slapping someone to legit have them get a hold of themselves, is if there is a life and death situation, and they are too shell shock to move, and you need to bring them back. Or if they are unconscious and you are trying to wake them up (usually cause there’s bad stuff happening around). And it stems from fearing their safety and you tried everything else and it was the last resort. None of these fit P3/5 scenes tho. P4/Beastars/Shounen is just “dumb bois brawling” (which dumb girls brawling is valid too), they’re different tropes. Slapping for slapstick is closer to P3/5′s trope than the P4/Beastars/Shounen one.....that one is a veeeeery fine line tbh (the more over the top the better, because it’s more distant from reality, the less over the top the closer it is to the drama one and the closer it is to reality and........it ironically becomes unrealistic). 

but yeah there’s just a couple things......that’s wrong with the scene than just the slap, but really those slaps are so unnecessary???? Like the majority of the scene is the speech, just focus on that. I think it takes more skill to metaphorically slap someone with your words than with your literal palm.