#SORRY. I am not Normal over this onion looking fuck

[harukaenthusiast]

i liked the trailer today ! However, top ten Little Dudes with issues,

#arvenfanboyposting #pkmn sv #kieran pokemon #sv dlc spoilers #indigo disk #pokemon sv #rival kieran #sv dlc #the hidden treasure of area zero #SORRY. I am not Normal over this onion looking fuck #he’s so Ruined what happened to him.. he had the stars in his eyes NOW WHAT!!!

[eli-writes-sometimes]

Incorrect quotes tag

Got tagged by the lovely @fire-but-ashes-too, thanks for that!

So i may have got slightly carried away with this, it's under a cut for a reason

Tagging - @druidx @dogmomwrites @new-royston-cursebreakers @holdmyteaplease @oh-no-another-idea @irisisasleep (do you have ocs? idk but this is funny and i think youd approve) and anyone else who wants to this!

Here's the link to the quote generator I used!

So, this is technically a ships tag, but I only have two main ships (Harper and Luke from Superlosers and Rune and Veronica from PPP) so I did those two as well as their two friend groups because I thought it was funny and got a bit carried away.

Also sorry if the spacing is weird, I did half of thi on mobile and half on desktop

Enjoy!

Luke and Harper:

Luke: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives.

Harper: I wake up at 4:30 AM every day to train.

Luke: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives.

Harper: Act natural.

Luke: For this kind of situation, the most natural thing would be to panic, so technically I can panic.

Harper: NO, that’s not what I meant! Act like it’s a normal day!

Luke: My ‘normal’ days of late, consist of a lot of panic.

Harper: Will you just cooperate?

Luke: When a person is panicking, they are not apt to cooperate very well!

Luke, sweating: Harper, there’s something I need to ask you-

Harper: Finally! You’re proposing!

Luke: How’d you know?

Harper: Luke, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Harper: I even picked it up once.

Harper: Are you okay?

Luke, crying: Yeah, it was just the onions.

Harper: *Picks up an onion* What the fuck did you say to Luke?

Harper, skipping rocks on a lake with Luke: It’s such a beautiful evening.

Luke: Yeah, it is.

Luke: *whispering* Take that you fucking lake.

And here's the whole group!

Ivy: What starts with F and ends with Uck?

Asher: No it doesn't.

Harper: Firetruck!

Luke: FUCK!

Luke: *running into the room* Harper just said they don’t love me anymore!

Ivy: What?!

Harper: *following them in* I did not say that. I just said that we are not driving all the way across the country just so you can punch Asher in the face.

*Ivy drunkenly wanders around the house and Harper is drunkenly giggling*

Luke, completely sober: *sighs* Well, looks like it's just me and you against the wold, Asher.

Asher, going to their room: Nope, just you. *shuts door*

*during a group project*

Asher: *does 99% of the work*

Luke: *has no idea what’s going on*

Ivy: *says they’re gonna help but does not*

Harper: *disappears at the very beginning and doesn’t show up again until the very end*

Harper: That's ridiculous, Luke doesn't have a crush on me.

Asher: Yes they do.

Ivy: Yes they do.

Luke: Yes I do.

Ivy: Made you all playlists!

Ivy: Asher, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.

Ivy: Luke, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.

Ivy: And Harper has the ABBA Gold album.

Asher: *sees Luke and Harper together*

Asher: They're cute. I would put them on a boat.

Ivy: You mean... you ship them?

Here's Vera and Rune!

Vera: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response. Rune: Wow. They sound stupid. Vera: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense. Rune: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!” Vera: I guess you’re right. Hey Rune, I love you. Rune: See! Just say that! Vera: Holy fucking shit. Rune: If that flies over their head then, sorry Vera, but they're too dumb for you. Vera: Rune.

Rune: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness— Vera: Hi. Rune: melts down in a flustered heap of softness

Rune: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night? Vera: It was autocorrect. Rune: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."? Vera: Yes.

Vera: Are you really planning to shoot the demon? Rune: Don't worry, it's a holy gun. Vera: How so? Rune: It makes holes. (thank you quincy morris)

And the whole friend group!

Vera: wow you and Kai are home early from the movies. What happened? Rune: We got kicked out because Kai wouldn't stop yelling diving scores as people jumped off the titanic. Kai: That last guy had a solid 8, I'm telling you!

Vera: So how’s the food Rune made? Kai: It's great! Compliments to them. Vera: goes to the kitchen Vera: You're adorable. Rune: blushes

Vera: We all have our demons. Rune, grabbing Kai: This one’s mine!

Vera: Why did you guys dress up as each other for Halloween? Rune: Kai is the scariest thing I could think of! Kai: Rune told me I should pick the dumbest costume possible.

Kai: Ooh, somebody has a crush Rune: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Vera I just think they’re cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about them. Later that night Rune, very much awake: Uh oh.

#thanks for the tag! #eli doesnt write sometimes #eli tags sometimes #tag game #incorrect quotes #wip ppp #superlosers #kai ppp #rune ppp #vera ppp #get a load of these losers #<- superlosers group tag

[killemwithkawaii]

L.S.S.: Well, I don’t know how you did it, but that’s the last of it…

Mitch(6): “Uh… Maybe we can make pancakes together…?”

L.S.S.: That’s everything I brought for us to eat for a whole month… how can you still be hungry? You were so small… at least, you were before… Damn, that happened really fast…

Mitch(6):  “I’m a hungry guy, you know!” “...especially the good eats!”

L.S.S.: I can tell… Woah, down boy! You’re way too big to be jumping on me like that anymore… Wait, let me check and see if we’ve been sent anything else you can eat…

Mitch(6): [UwU] [UwU] [UwU]

L.S.S.: Here, uh… wait… that didn’t work…?

….

Mitch(6): …. [qwq] 

L.S.S.: Wow, that's a lot of drool... I’m sorry, Mitchie… I guess you’ll just have to wait until we get home to eat… Man, if both of us have been glitching out this entire time, the fridge has to be nasty inside by now… and we're probably not looking so good either...

Mitch(6): “… [sniffling]” “... a big, juicy turkey with all the trimmings sounds so good right now…” “[singing] ‘Can we find, the best ham in the land? Spit-roast, dry rub, sizzlin in a pan-” “parmesan, garlic, onions… and some bacon I got on special in the freezer! I’m sure all that would all be tasty together!” ….

L.S.S.: …Man, you’ve got it bad… And I thought you were bad when you got hungry normally… That must be your ‘itch,’ since you don’t have any wounds…  

It’s gonna be okay, this’ll all be over in the morning, you’ll see… We’ll be back home and we’ll make you those pancakes after we do a grocery run! I'll hold your hand the entire time, too.

Mitch(6).:  “It’ll be like none of this ever happened….” “You’ll be able to go right back to your life.” “...Perfect…”

L.S.S.: Exactly. We just have to be patient…

Mitch(6):  “Hug with arms…” “I think I’d rather just hold your hand… or snuggle you really, really hard…”

L.S.S.: Hey, I can do that! Snuggles are in unlimited supply around here…

[Hugs Mitch(6)]

Mitch(6): “I am ‘cuddling’ with Sally”... 

L.S.S.: Heh yes, yes you are…

[scratches under Mitch(6)s chin]

Mitch(6): ....“I love Sally…” “I was so afraid it would scare you away, and you wouldn’t like me anymore.”

L.S.S.: Hey, you already turned into a giant… version of yourself, this month. You being a big ‘ol… sorta humanoid… computer-faced puppy-dog thing isn’t gonna scare me away…. [laughing] I love you too. Always have, always will, no matter what form you take…. It’s just a little different, remember…? 

Mitch(6): … "A person..." "No matter what form..."

..........

“…Do you ever think of leaving...?”

L.S.S.: What? No, of course not…. I’m happy when I’m with you Mitchie… All I’ve been doing all month is riding out this glitch while trying to get back to you…

L.S.S.: Just like she said, I’m grateful for what I had with the others, and I’m grateful for what I have with you now…. Even if right now, we’re not in the ideal place… the cabin sure is glitching out, huh…? There’s… a lot of meat hooks on the ceiling… and forks on the floor... and I keep picking needles out of the bedding... ugh, man, I cannot wait to get out of here...

Mitch(6): ...

”I’m sure there’s something else you could do- something that would make you happier….? You usually seem so stressed out when you’re there…”

L.S.S.: Huh? You mean... No, I…. That's not what I meant...

….

I know it hasn’t been perfect between us, and this month has been one hell of a ride… But that doesn’t change how I feel about you.

Mitch(6): …”Over and over and over..” …… “What have we done to deserve such agony?” ….

L.S.S.: Wha… That’s not… whos voice is that…? Wait is… is that from the game…? My game…?

Mitch(6): “... some day, in some timeline I hadn’t fucked up yet… I’d make it happen.” “And if it still doesn’t turn out, at least you tried.” “‘practice makes progress!’” “That just means you know what to do differently next time you make it!” “I hated that what we could have had was taken away just as it started…”

L.S.S.: Mitchie, what are you trying to say…?

Mitch(6):  “I’m happy that you moved on, Sal… I want you to be happy…”  “how do I get outa here? I can’t-… god, it’s like he’s watching me and he doesn’t even fuckin have eyes anymore… I keep thinkin I’m hearing him, but he’s just sitting there…” “I should have never done this shit to him…” “God, fuck, it hurts so much… I’m so fucking scared…” “I was forced to watch everything. A prisoner in my own mind.” “I’m so sorry I did this…”  “...I have done terrible things. Unforgivable things. I am so sorry.”

L.S.S.: What? You were watching…? So I was right, you were here with me… But.. you didn’t do anything! It’s the glitch that did this, you didn’t-

Mitch(6): “I want you to find me again, as long as you want to.” “You really wanna do it again?” “...after I make a mess on the floor?” 

L.S.S.: Your voice… it’s so good to hear it again… uh, of course! I’m sticking with you Mitchie. I’m here for the long-haul…

Mitch(6): “I don’t want you to be unhappy forever because you feel like you owe me something.” “That wasn’t your fault… I… went from being absolutely terrified… to being ready to fucking butcher and eat…" "...Sally..." in less than a month!” “It shouldn’t bother me. It didn’t used to…” They died young together, thousands of years ago, but are still embracing each other after all this time…” “I should be happy... thankful they existed.” “I’m… a monster.”

L.S.S.: No, you… you’re not a monster…! That’s all in the past, we’re past that…! it’s okay you have these feelings. I don’t blame you, the others were a little jealous of you, too…

Mitch(6): “..Then he looked upon my face and saw all of me at once… we were in love. And everything was perfect. Until it fell apart again. Now there is only pain. … Everything falls apart.” “They are filled with regret and sorrow… they are in a lot of pain… they are heartbroken… they’ve lost touch with reality…”  It itches!!”

L.S.S.: We’ve both done things we regret.… Hell, I did things I regret this month… But what do we say, huh? ‘It’s okay to make mistakes and not to be perfect, as long as you learn from it…’

Mitch(6): ….“I just want to be normal. I want us to be able to be normal…” “in some timeline I hadn’t fucked up yet…”” I’m the one that broke the eggs… I appreciate you getting that, by the way.” “I love you.” “...it wouldn’t be the first time…” “And it won’t be the last!”

L.S.S.: It’s okay that we can’t be ‘normal’… We can just be ‘us’.

Mitch(6): “Her soul was corrupted by the dark. By hunger. By isolation. She suffered greatly…”  “I have done terrible things. Unforgivable things. I am so sorry.” “There are no happy endings in life, Sal. We all get the same terrible ending… death.” “I don’t have anything to give you anymore…” .....

“This will be our new beginning.” “It itches!!”

L.S.S.: What are you talking about... No… no, no, wait… what are you doing?! Stop!!...

Mitch(6): “A cut of meat…” “..it’s okay… it’ll be over soon, just…. lay back and try your best to relax… I’ll be right here with you until you’re gone….” “You can consider this… to be your ‘rock bottom’ AND your turning point this time around.” “A dog, a rabbit, two starving beasts…”

L.S.S.: Mitch, stop!! I know you’re hungry, but-

Mitch(6): “Hmm, a tall stack of Sally-cakes… Yeah, I could go for one of those…!” ……. “I’m really in the mood for something sweet right now…” I LOVE strawberries, how did you know?!... look SO yummy!!” “Yum! It’s delicious!” “...Tethered, Forever, on a long, tight leash…”

L.S.S.: Shit, shit, shit, fuck… OH FUCK, THE CHAIN- NO, STOP!! DON’T-

......

...My... my finger... you...

....Wait, wait- no, no, NO!-

Mitch(6): “It itches!!” “It itches!!” “It itches!!”….. I am so sorry.”  “I’m… a monster.” “A dog…” “Let me take on this burden…” “Let me make it perfect this time…” "I'm doing this for us." "Let me do this for us." “I love you.” “A rabbit…” "writing on walls, stains on your sheets..."

L.S.S.: [barely audible] No... no.... this isn’t happening. This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening… It’s all a glitch, this’ll all be over tomorrow… We’ll be back home… we’ll be okay. It doesn’t hurt, so it’s just a glitch… the two of us will be back home and back to normal in the morning…. It’s just a glitch… it’s just a glitch…!!!

Mitch(6): ….. “I am so sorry.”.... “I love you”.....“You’re free.” ….….”I love you” …..“It’s not evil. Just hungry.”... "I am so sorry." “... two starving beasts…” “I love you.”  “I love you.”  “I love you.”  “I love you.”  “I love you.”  “I love you.”...... "New destinations, familiar streets..." “Part of” “me” “forever” “tethered”…. “Sally..." ..... "My sweet, love-sick Sally..."

#the staycation 🏡💙 #l.s.s. answers #mitch6 #meadow chan #tw body horror #tw gore #tw teratophilia #tw cannibalism #tw violence #tw injury #tw unreality #tw unsanitary #tw dismemberment #meet the fishers

[tenacityreturns]

he's out shopping when he runs into kagami -- normally, he'd move on with his day but he's got a 3-in-1 in his hand currently and ryou knows, KNOWS, aomine has a thing for him. ( him, as in kagami. not him, as in him whose currently horrified watching kagami just grab and not care. ) " excuse me ---- i'm so sorry about this -- um -- kagami-san, oh right i'm sakurai from touou -- anyways again, sorry , but you shouldn't use a 3 in one. it's like really bad. "

@peachmuses

kagami went to a hotel once where they had five-in-one shampoo/conditioner/body wash/soap/ and... a fifth one he’s forgotten right now. that seems a little extreme to him. surely something for his hands ought to be more bacteria-killing than something for the rest of his body? but he isn’t thinking about that now as he’s about to drop this three-in-one into his basket. he’s thinking about whether he checked if he’s got enough onions for the chili he wants to make. damn it. he was meant to check before leaving. maybe he could call nijimura-----

a familiar voice starts talking to him from his right and he looks over, slightly startled and a little annoyed at having been disturbed from his train of thought. oh, it’s sakurai, he almost says aloud. and now he’s introducing himself? “yeah, i know who you are,” kagami mutters. his expression becomes quite vacant. “three-in-one... what?”

oh, the soap? must be that. “oh, the soap?” nice. he picks it out of his basket. “how come?” scarlet eyes scan sakurai’s put-together outfit and pretty appearance. he cracks a guilty smile. “yeah, sorry, but i don’t really care. i start putting effort into my hair and guys’ll be too distracted by how hot i am that they won’t concentrate on their play,” ah. yeah. you see, he momentarily forgets that he’s not talking to nijimura (who would totally get that this is actually a self-depreciating joke) and kagami immediately dies on the spot. “i mean! like i care? what the fuck?” he laughs nervously but can’t think of anything else to say so he simply does not.

#answered. #peachmuses #imagine bragging about using bodywash on your hair and then making yourself look like a total idiot #aomine has appalling taste

[filthforfriends]

tell me this isn't Thomas

I wanna write comedic smut. Like imagine a fic where Thomas was cooking dinner to impress and the reader comes over to bother him and be horny. of course that leads to distraction which leads to fucking on the kitchen counter (duh) but after foreplay this happens

"You fingers are making me hot inside."

"Okay love just let me get the condom. One sec!" *Thomas tripping over something in the next room*

"Like I'm burning inside from it..."

"Damn, you've never been this in to fingering before. Whats gotten in to you? It must've been something I did I guess." *tripping over the same thing on the way back, bringing the entire box*

"No, no it doesn't feel normal, it feels strange. Like its everywhere."

"What do you mean everywhere?"

"Like on the outside too, where my skin touches the counter. Shit owe!" *jumps off counter*

"Oh shit. Oh shit, shit, shit!"

"What!? What have you done to my labia?"

"I may have cut the onions on that counter."

"Thomas!"

"I wiped it off afterwards obviously! I thought it was clean enough!"

"Clean enough?? You were about to fuck me in a puddle of onion juice and dishwater? Do you know how much bacteria is in those sponges? I swear to fucking god if I get BV from this..."

"Shit sorry! I'm sorry, what do I do?'

"First and foremost buy me a chastity belt because you are never getting near my vagina again you dipshit!"

"Yes, I am a dipshit! Sorry, I'm sorry!"

"Ah fuck! Why does it sting on the inside too? Did you cut onions, not wash your hands, then put them inside me Thomas? What am I? Just the most convenient warm hole?"

"What? No, of course not! Of course I washed my hands after I cut the onions!"

"Then why does it feel like I just got dicked down by the hot Cheeto's tiger? This shit stings!"

"Oh fuck..."

"What 'oh fuck'? What did you do? Forget to invest stock in Monistat before ruing my pH balance?!"

"I didn't wash my hands right before."

"What did you touch, Thomas?"

"I was seasoning when you came in the kitchen. Its spicy bolognas. Fuck, fuck, where's my phone? I need to look up what to do!"

"Oh, no. Thomas, chili flakes?"

"Chilli flakes."

"You better find your phone so you can tell your mother goodbye before I murder you!"

"Listen I'm so sorry I-"

#maneskin #thomas raggi #maneskin imagine #thomas x reader #thomas maneskin #thomas x you

[valarhalla]

People have been nagging me to share “the curry story” on here for ages, so alright, I’ll do it. (If you’re Indian and reading this, I am so sorry).

I swear to god, everything I am about to say in this story is true.

When I was eleven, I moved to a small town in rural England and acquired a new best friend at school. Her at that point seemingly-very-normal-parents- nice suburban house, three kids, trampoline in the backyard- invited me over for dinner, and said they were making curry and rhubarb crumble.

“Curry and rhubarb crumble”. Never in the history of mankind have words been so untrue.

The “curry” consisted of, I swear I am not making this up, a vague mixture of * deep breath, oatmeal, tofu sausages, corn, tomato juice, chopped onions, raisins, “leftover broccoli leaves”, kale, and scrambled eggs. The only spice in it was the tiniest smidgen of turmeric. All these ingredients were vaguely stirred together, undercooked, and stuck under a broiler for ten minutes. 

They gave me a massive portion. I somehow, I still don’t know how, was polite enough to finish it.

“I’m done,” I said.

“No,” said her father. “In this house, we LICK our plates clean.”

He did. They didn’t make me hold it up and lick it like they all did, but they did make me clean the plate with a piece of bread and my fork until they were satisfied.

Desert came. The rhubarb crumble was entirely unsweetened. Not so much as a raisin. I can’t remember what the crumble part was, because my mind is still haunted by the memory of being forced to eat an entire bowl of unsweetened rhubarb. You know in old Looney Tunes when characters would be tricked into eating allum and their heads would shrink? That’s what eating it felt like. They made me clean my bowl of that too, and wouldn’t let me leave the table until I finished. 

The next time, (I was in middle school and as yet too polite to turn down my best friend’s parents) they made “spaghetti and meatballs and salad”. The spaghetti was utterly plain and so undercooked it was crunchy, the “meatballs” consisted of a single large orb of some grey material i have yet to identify, and the salad was, i shit you not, limp boiled lettuce. Crunchy spaghetti, unidentified lumpy grey stuff, and boiled lettuce.

The fascinating thing is that, while yes, these people were obviously health nuts, it was so much more than that. They were health nuts who also cooked like aliens who had never seen human food before. Or like small children making “potions”. One of the more edible things they served to me once was a dessert they made up which consisted of halved apples rolled in cornflour with some milk poured on top. One time, they were convinced to make pizza as a treat. They decided to put an onion on it. Fair and fine, you’d think. Not in that house. They just cut the onion in half once, and stuck each unchopped half facedown on one side of the pizza.

Speaking of onions, one time, my friend decided to make a banana and yoghurt smoothie. Her dad came in, said it wasn’t healthy enough, and made her add an onion to it.

They had a homemade cereal I thankfully was able to opt out of trying which 100% looked like the contents of a vacuum bag. I still have no idea what it contained.

Amazingly, it was by no means just me who experienced this. It was a small town, and every girl in it my age had a selection of horror stories about being invited to dinner at this friend’s house in the exact same ritualistic horror-film fashion. We used to sit around comparing them at sleepovers. Age did not exempt you. One time, this friend’s six year old brother had a friend over for dinner at the same time, poor soul. His mom arrived to pick him up, and wasn’t allowed to take him home until he finished whatever crime against cooking was on the menu that night. 

Every story was the same. The ritual that never varied. Every time, these people would make a huge fanfare out of inviting you over for dinner, act all hospitable and excited, set the table, and then serve you a massive helping of the worst food in the world, and make you clean your plate of it, desert included. Who the hell forces you to finish your DESERT?

It’s a mystery to me. They clearly had SOME degree of self-awareness, because after I came to my senses and started coming up with excuses to avoid eating at their house they would tease me saying things like “ohoho, you don’t like LIKE our food do you”. If they had been a bit more fun and less generally puritanical sort of people, I could totally believe this was a family trolling activity where they secretly schemed to come up with the worst possible dishes, secretly filmed themselves forcing people to eat them and watched it and laughed afterwards, I could believe it.

All I’m saying is I’m pretty sure they weren’t aliens, but the more I type this out, the more tempted I am to believe it. Fuck it, maybe they WERE aliens.

[norarigby]

フェア関西のルームメイト二名 (The Two Roommates from Fair Kansai)

Chapter 4: The Messages

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Description: In which while typing a roommate ad online, the famed Miya Atsumu, (23) MSBY Jackals Setter, makes a detrimental typo that leads to an influx of women applicants. Confused, but not completely opposed (the idiot), Miya Atsumu lands on a formidable candidate. Y/n L/n. A Biotechnology major at Kansai University, looking for a change after her last disastrous roommates and some space from a particular complication. It’s odd, but it’ll work. Maybe a little too well.

Pairings: Miya Atsumu x Female Reader

Warnings: A single expletive at the very very end.

Word Count: ~1k

A/n: This is kind of a filler chapter, sorry. We're getting to the good stuff soon, I promise. (also I was thinking only of kake udon while writing this and I will be having a bowl of it after I post this)

“I’m home!” Y/n announced as she took off her shoes at the entrance. She was excited to tell her mom about the news, but she was going back and forth about if she should tell her about the elephant in the room. Her mother would have one of two reactions: a little too excited that she was moving in with a male roommate or wouldn’t allow her to move in period. Either way, the more she thought about it, keeping her roommate’s gender a secret seemed like the best course of action. Besides, her mom would never be the wiser. She just hoped he wouldn’t be there when her mom would help her move in.

“Kitchen!” Her mom’s voice rang throughout the small home.

Y/n’s mom didn’t need to announce her presence in the kitchen, she could smell it from the front door. The homemade kakejiru smelled so divine that Y/n almost forgot that it was the middle of August. A bowl of kake udon could just never be beat, no matter the weather.

Rounding the corner, Y/n joined her mom at the stove to get a better smell of the broth, “Mama, your broth smells amazing as always!”

“Ah, I just didn’t have the energy to make anything else,” She moved over to the sink to wash her hands. “How did the meeting with your possible future roommate go, hm? Any luck?” “Yeah! I just got a text a couple minutes ago saying I have the room.” Y/n leaned against the counter and picked at the nori, “It’ll be interesting to say the least, but I think it’ll be alright.”

Y/n’s mom began chopping up the green onions, “Well, it doesn’t need to be perfect and you certainly don’t have to be best friends. You just need something normal. Especially after…” She trailed off.

“Mom, it’s okay-”

She paused her chopping for a moment and turned to Y/n, “I just want the best for you and you deserve good people in your life is all I was trying to say.”

Her mom returned to chopping the green onions and Y/n decided to not comment on the tear that fell as she did. Y/n could tell she wasn’t the only one still recollecting. In the midst of all of her troubles, her mom had her fair share of her own. At the end of the day, it was just the two of them both trying to pick up the pieces together. It’s among a few reasons why Y/n had moved back with her mom for so long. But they could both feel it as she was approaching her senior year of college. Even with everything, they both needed to learn how to let go. And it was anything but easy.

Finishing up with the green onions, her mom transferred them to a serving bowl, “Well, I think that should be it. Let me boil the noodles and you can get me caught up with school and things over dinner. Okay, love?”

“Sounds good.”

~~

The alarm clock next to her bed was shining a bright red 12:34 AM in her face. Usually she was out by now, but a late night texting session with her new roommate inspired this spontaneous late night. She thought about just ignoring his text in the morning, but had grown curious as to why he not only would reach out to her only a couple hours after he last texted but also why he was so up late. Y/n wasn’t one to stereotype people, but Atsumu definitely seemed like the 'be in bed by 8, get up at 5' gym bro type. Then again, in the few hours she'd known Atsumu, she guessed he was more of a 'fly by the seat of his pants', 'do whatever, whenever' type.

From: Atsumu So this totally might seem desperate, but what are you thinking for a move in date? I just want to make sure to be there to help and whatever.

Y/n leaned her head back, she hadn’t really thought about it yet. Her mom had asked the same question at dinner, but she mostly just brushed it aside--too anxious that her mom would start asking too many questions. Regardless, it couldn’t be sooner than a couple days at least. She needed to pack and she still had school and work to worry about. Doing some quick math in her head she determined she could probably get everything packed and ready to move in by the weekend.

As she typed out the message, she hesitated. This weekend. That was so soon. It had been 8 months since she moved back and where that wasn’t a very long time, it was enough to make her heart hurt to leave. But she couldn’t put off this date for forever--she had agreed to move in with Atsumu and she was sure he was anxious to get her to pay her part of the rent. So she pushed those feelings aside for the time being and hit send on the text.

From: Y/n I think I should be able to get everything packed and ready by this weekend. Fingers crossed.

From: Atsumu Sounds good. I’ll see you then!

~~

Atsumu set his phone down on his side table and ran his hands over his face. It was well past his bedtime and he could fault nothing except for these dumb feelings. He had met this girl for maybe 20 minutes earlier today and had one texting conversation with her, he should not have been this giddy. Osamu’s rom coms were rubbing off on him.

Sitting up in his bed, he slapped both of his cheeks with his hands, “Miya Atsumu, we will not be catching feelings for our roommate. It’s weird and will one hundred percent make her uncomfortable so cut it out.”

He tried to emulate his old upperclassmen to make it stick. It most definitely didn’t work, but maybe if he just said it enough times it would get through his thick skull.

Ping!

From: Y/n See you then. Good night :)

….Fuck.

#miya x y/n #miya x you #miya x reader #miya atsumu #atsumu fic #atsumu fluff #hq atsumu #atsumu x reader #haikyuu atsumu #atsumu #atsumu x female reader #atsumu x y/n #atsumu x you #haikyuu x reader #atsumu angst #hq x y/n #haikyu!! #hq #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x imagines #haikyuu x you

[xxreader-writerxx]

Already Won

Word count: 2.1k

Fred Weasley x Fem Reader

Warnings: Cursing, angsty, Cheating Mentioned, Blood Mentioned, Knife Kink Mentioned, Reader nearly cuts finger off, Panic Attack-ish (Fred), Poor Plot, Snogging at the end, and Abandonment Issues

A/n: This isn't amazing it was just to kick my arse into writing again lol, fighting writers block atm

Y/N= Your Name L/N= Your Last Name Y/H= Your House

I'm cutting vegetables in the kitchen for dinner when I hear the door unlock. I smile to myself and grab the coffee I made, reheating it with a quick spell. "Baby! Did you get the creamer while you were out?" I ask, turning the corner. "I was supposed to?" I hear a different voice than what I was expecting respond. "Oh its you." I say plainly, annoyed by the sight of my ex boyfriend Draco. "Hey darling. I missed you." He says, walking to try to give me a hug but I push him away disgusted. "Didn't I dump you like what five months ago? After you cheated on me with Pansy?" I ask, turning to go into the kitchen. "Your still on that? I'm back so everything can go back to normal!" He says and I scoff. "Nope." I say when I hear the door open.

"Baby, the witch down the street ran out of creamer but, I got coffees down the street. Then I dropped them on myself trying to get inside." I hear Fred ramble. I walk out chuckling and see him stripping as he walks into our room. "The coffee burns." He says, still distracted by getting clean clothes on. I walk over with Draco tailing behind me. "Honey, someone's here." I tell him and he whips his head around, grabbing his shirt to cover himself. "Shit. Sorry sorry.... Not sorry what the hell is he doing here?" He asks, seeing Draco. "Figuring it out myself- Oh my god Freddie, how hot were those coffees?!" I ask, seeing a burn mark forming on his shoulder.

"I wanted them to be hot enough to make it home." He says sheepishly. I walk over, grabbing the burn medication I conjured after discovering having Fred Weasley as a boyfriend means a lot of burns to heal. I pull down the sleeve and rub the ointment on. "Ow..." He moans and I nod sadly.

When I finish I put a bandage on him and take his hand. I bring him to the fridge and grab a lolly. "Suck on this while it heals, it'll cool your body." I say and he winks, placing the lolly on his tongue. "While I suck on this why don't you- Why are you still here." He says, breaking his flirty behavior to look at Draco who is glaring at Fred. "Name's on the lease." He says with a smirk. "You're kidding. He's kidding." He says looking at me upset. I freeze trying to think of a solution when I finally sigh. "He's right..." I say, I shove my face in his chest and he glares at Draco angrily. "You are going to leave." He says through gritted teeth. "Where would I go huh?" He asks, still cocky. "Do I give a shit? No. Now your things are in the hall closet, take those bags and leave." He repeats, keeping me against him.

"I don't remember your name on the lease." He says with a smirk and Fred nods. "Yeah but I have my initials on-" He says as he start to raise my shirt trying to reveal the initials he cut during an exciting night two days ago. I slap his hand and he looks at me cheekily. "Anyways, I guess you can stay in the guest room and I'll go unpack." He says and I grab his jacket before he can leave the kitchen. "Fix it." I say sternly and he groans. "I'll stay in the guest room." He mumbles and I nod promptly.

***

I wake up next to Fred and look for whatever woke me. I get up realizing its 5:37 and shake Fred softly. "Baby we need to get ready for work. I'll go make breakfast." I whisper and he nods into the pillow, golden ginger hair surrounding his freckled face softly. "Baby, if we told George what happened he'd understand, let's sleep in." He offers and I sigh. "If I had another owner to take care of my shop then I would jump in your arms but..." I say and he groans nodding.

I make my way into the kitchen to make us omelets when a figure makes me jump. "Fuck." I mutter as Draco takes a sip of his coffee. "Honey?" I hear from behind me and I turn to see Fred fiddling with his tie. I walk over smiling to myself at his loose tie and messy hair. "Stupid Blood Traitor can't even tie his own tie." I hear Malfoy mumble as I tied Fred's tie, getting angry I nearly behead Fred on accident but he stops me with a soft hold on my hips. "Here's the thing, Malfoy, I'm doing this... To do this." Fred says smirking pulling me in for his signature kiss. I sigh into the kiss almost forgetting about my troubles until they cough to signify they're still there.

"I'll make our breakfast, you work on tea?" I ask and he salutes cutely. I start chopping up onions when I feel myself get enveloped in a hug, Fred's face snug in my neck. His lips threateningly close to my neck, butterfly kisses every now and then. "What are you up to?" I giggle as his hands tickle my sides. "I just love you..." He whispers and I smile. "I love you more." I whisper and he kisses my cheek. "I'll cook the omelet, you go watch your program. It's on." He whispers and I turn, placing my hands on the counter behind me. "I can take care of the food. Don't worry about me." I whisper back and he kisses my lips softly. "Please? When else will your show be on this early?" He asks and I smile. "If you insist. But at least let me cut the peppers." I say and he nods.

***

I'm cutting dough in my café when I hear the door open. I smile warmly, keeping my eyes to the counter. "Hello! I'll be with you in a moment." I say when someone pushes my chin up softly. "Hey darling." Draco says and I groan. "Malfoy, I'm not your darling anymore. I'm dating Fred." I state, my entire body growing warm with anger. "I know, I know... But I wanted to try and win you back." He states, holding up a gold necklace. "You think I can be bought?" I ask, seething with anger. His face looses color as he shakes his head. "N-no! I meant this as a sorry-" He begins but I slam my knife down. "Get out."

I walk into the twin's shop, unusually tired, I see George and walk over lazily. "Hey- What the hell!?" He asks and he grabs my arm, tugging me to Fred's office. "Where are we going?" I ask lazily. "FRED." He yells banging on the door. Fred opens the door angrily but the anger turns to worry when he lays his eyes on me, or to be specific my finger. I cut it, deep. "Oh look at that..." I say and he scoops me up. "Oh god oh god..." He mumbles as I lay my head on his shoulder. "You smell nice." I whisper and he shakes his head. "What the hell happened?" He asks and I frown. "Draco came to my shop and gave me this." I say and I show him the necklace and he looks at it upset as he buckles me into the car. "You've lost a lot of blood..." He whispers, tearing up a bit. "I'm fineeee." I tell him and he kisses my forehead softly. "Just stay awake..." He whispers and I nod softly.

I wake up in a hospital bed and Fred is holding my hand. "Baby?" I ask roughly, my throat burning from sleep. "Thank god." He exclaims, holding me close to his chest. "Are you alright? Do you need anything?! You don't understand how happy I am to see your eyes open." He tells me, clutching my shirt tightly.

***

Ever since the accident Fred kicked Malfoy out and I got someone to take over the shop while I heal. Fred's been clingy since because he says he nearly lost me and every time I remind him it was only a bit of blood loss but he always responds with "same thing". Malfoy has been sending flowers, expensive gifts, and baskets each with a note begging me to take him back. I laugh at every package because they come from Pansy's apartment. Now its two months later both me and Fred going strong, and Malfoy hasn't given up.

I walk into the house back from groceries with Fred nowhere to be found. I hear shaky breathing from our room. I walk in and see Fred in the corner crying silently. "Freddie?" I ask and he hides his face in his arms. "I'll be out in a minute." He whispers and I sit next to him on the floor. "What's wrong?" I ask and he cries again. "Nothing, don't worry about it." He whispers and I tug his hand to wrap around it. "Tell me..." I whisper back and place my free hand on his cheek. He leans into my hand, closing his eyes happily. "I love you..." I tell him and he sighs. "I'm sorry." He tells me and I furrow my eyebrows.

"Did you break something?" I ask and he laughs, wiping his nose. "No... I'm sorry I can't provide for you." He tells me and I finally am able to sit on his lap, his hands resting on my hips as he places his forehead in the crane of my neck. "What?" I ask and he digs his head further. "Malfoy gets you all these fancy gifts and I know I'm not enough. I don't have diamond necklaces, my flowers are always picked, and he has so much to offer... And I'm here being the idiot who has a joke shop instead of a stable job. Its a matter of time before he finally wins you back and I would understand, who'd want me over Malfoy..." He cries into my neck and I run my hands through his hair softly.

"No... Baby I don't care about jewels or money. I love your flowers, how you tell me why each one reminded you of me... I love you Freddie.... I could never be won by Malfoy wanna know why?" I coo into his ear softly. "Why?" He asks, looking up at me with his soft hazel eyes. "Because you've already won. A million times, you've won. When we became best friends at 8, when I saw you on the bus, when you left school, when you moved in with me after my break-up, not letting me ignore help by saying you needed a place to stay because George and Angelina were moving in when we both knew you could live at the burrow... Every day you have won me. How can I prove that?" I ask and he smiles sweetly. "You just did... I love you so so much." He whispers and I smile, kissing his nose.

I hear the doorbell ring and he looks towards the door upset. I groan getting up and open the door. Draco is there crying holding flowers. "Please." He whispers and I go to slam the door but he stops me. "I know I don't deserve it but please give me another chance. Weaslebee could never care for you, not like I can. So please take me back." He says and I get angered by those words. I grab his collar and shove him back. "Do not talk of Fred that way." I say and he scoffs. "You know he won't. I have money we can land on, he doesn't. So cut the bullshit and take me back." He spits and I punch him right in the nose. "Leave. And I don't mean my door, I mean my life Malfoy." I tell him as he doubles over, flicking him off.

I walk back into my house and find Fred smiling at me, eyes still puffy but I couldn't care less, he's beautiful. "I love-" Is all he can say before I grab his collar, pulling him into a long kiss. He leans into it after recovering from the shock. I wrap my arms around his neck as he pulls me to wrap my legs around his torso. He sits on the couch, pulling me flush against his body. "I love you so much..." He mumbles as we take a second to get air. "I love you more." I say, diving to attach my lips to his. He pulls away after a while and smiles, moving hair from my face softly. I smile back, a giggle escaping my lips. "What?" I ask and he kisses me softly. "I guess I did win." He whispers and I kiss him again.

#fred weasley #canon #Fred Weasley Fanfiction #Fred Weasley Fic #Fred Weasley x Y/n #Fred Weasley Story #hogwarts #gryffindor #hufflepuff #ravenclaw #slytherin #smut x reader #fred weasley x reader #love #fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #OlderWeasleyTwin

[ha-hatdog]

daisuke kambe hcs

- what is it like to be dating daisuke kambe/domestic life with daisuke kambe

i hope you don't mind but i slapped two requests together because they were nearly similar. since i am making one post with two requests, i'll try to make this longer. i hope you enjoy this

requested by anon (i just turned my anon ask and i'll just go ahead and presume you want to be anon hehe sorry about that) : Hi, I saw your post. 😳 I just wanna say goodluck to your writing! and I'll be looking forward to them in the future. ❤ (Your anon asks aren't on btw. 😔) And for the request, it can be a headcanon or a short fic/scenario, whichever you like. :3 But can I please get soft/domestic Daisuke to his s/o (which is the reader)? Like, they're taking care of each other stuff. ❤👁👄👁

uwu thank you so much and i look forward to writing more stories for you

requested by @holdmejk : what it’s like to date daisuke 🥺

i wonder too how it would be like to date this rich man so here ya go

__

haru kato is the simple man, simple life

there is no way daisuke kambe can be considered the same. this is the very reason why haru hates the man with a burning passion

waking up with daisuke goes two ways - the normal soft wake up, or the after sex wake up

if you wake up normally, you will always find yourself on his chest, a hand over the small of your back and the other behind your head, pressing you close to him as if you were his leverage to the real world

you never get tired of seeing him peaceful and cute that you kiss him everywhere your lips can touch - his chest, his cheek, his nose, his forehead, but never his lips

daisuke loves waking up to your kisses but what really gets rid of his sleepiness is the annoyance he felt that you never kiss him on the lips

he will lift his head up from the pillow while holding your head and lean forward to capture your lips. no, he doesn't care about morning breath, he cares about your kisses

if you two had sex the night before, it's a different story because it's daisuke who always wakes up first this time around because you know, he tired the hell out of you

he runs his fingers through your matted tresses as the side of his head rested against his open palm, elbow proped up on his pillow

he loves how you look so happy and satisfied and peaceful. he admires your beauty silenty, a small smile on his lips

he'll try to go another round because he can't help himself when you look so enticing but you stop him because you were already so tired

you will drown in luxurious things. this daisuke kambe we are talking about. what did you expect?

you want it? you got it. you like it? you got it. you need it? you got it. your eyes looked at it a second too long? you got it

daisuke believes you deserve the best of the best so whatever you wanted, bam, something much better

flowers? you get a garden. chocolate? you get a factory. movies? you get a theater. cup noodles? you get a ramen shop or the actual cup noodles company. dress? you get your own clothing line that trumps over versace and gucci

oh you think you can stop daisuke from spoiling you just because you begged him and showed him your big doe eyes? he was tempted for sure but there is no way he'll be holding back, especially after seeing your big doe eyes (yup, that plan backfired)

one hard thing about dating a millionaire? you can't buy anything for him

you do not have the money to lavish him the same, and even if you did, it's stupid to assume daisuke can't afford the same things you plan on buying for him. maybe he'll buy something even better

so instead of spoiling him like he does to you, you buy him trinkets that remind you of him

daisuke has no clue as to why items could remind you of him but he still keeps everything you buy for him close to him like in his office so he can always see them

you bought daisuke a goofy looking bobble head and he put it on the dashboard of his super cool looking car and haru was like the hell is that

daisuke sped through the streets before haru could make a comment

daisuke trust you more than anyone. more than suzue, more than haru, more than himself, more than his credit card

that being said, you are the only one he allows to patch him up after a particularly rough day at work

he will literally drive all the way to your shared home while bleeding out, enter your shared room as more blood trailed his face and deadass say "Can you help me? My head is bleeding"

you scold him for being so reckless and for always giving you a heart attack whenever he comes home in that condition

he doesn't mind being lectured tho because he still gets to feel your soft touches and gets lots and lots of kisses from you

he doesn't get why you kiss his wounds after patching him up. like his wounds are dirty? it still hurts? what was the science behind it? he still won't get it even if you explain it to him but he'll take note for reference

when you get injured, you are obligated to tell daisuke that you are not severely hurt that he had to call the hospitals all around the world to come heal you

you had to snatch the phone from him at one point when he tried to contact professional surgeons from america after you scratched yourself from a bush

daisuke at least knows how to use the first aid kit and no matter how little your injury may be, he will always proceed with the basics because he's very worried about you (though his face doesn't show it), that your small wound would get infected, and then you'll be on your death bed saying your last words, and then he's kneeling on your grave -

you had no idea this is what goes on inside his head every time you get injured

he also kisses your wounds after patching them up. he still doesn't understand the reason as to why you and others do it, but he does it because you do it

daisuke doesn't allow you to move a muscle aftee he's done fixing your wounds. he acts as if you have a terminal disease and would check on you every five minutes when he's working at home and calls you every three minutes when doing police work (haru gets annoyed with that habit so you had a talk with him)

dates with daisuke is far from simple. you either go to the most expensive resorts or attractions in japan or you're going out of the country. yes, your dates are basically mini vacations

so that's the reason why whenever you two want to spend time together, you are in charge. you can't always go to malaysia and england every weekend. plausible when you're with daisuke but you're not having it

you try to make your dates as simple as it can be. like what regular couples would do like going to movies (he was irritated because he had to sit near other people because he only wants to be near you), hanging out in the mall ("No, Daisuke, don't you dare buy that Gucci bag for me, I just glanced at it - oh for fuck sake"), and eating food from stands (Daisuke was confused like where will you two sit so you can eat your food properly?)

you two went ice skating and you guided him as he wobbled on his skates. you never let go of him because the first time you let go of him so he can try to balance alone in the ice, he looked very worried and made grabby hands at you

he becomes better at skating after doing it so many times. you were a little jealous because he's better than you now

daisuke his whole life always had a professional chef make something for him and when he began dating you, he also began inviting other professional chefs to make something for you two

but as your relationship grew stronger, you began cooking for him and you made him feel so special and he couldn't react properly

sometimes he watches you cook and helps with the cutting (you stopped him when he cut himself), but most of the time he's at his office and you bring his food to him and he scolrs you because he wants to eat properly with you ay the dining table

bringing food to his office is a no no. eating together at the dining table and sharing stories together is a yes yes

you don't know if the food you make for him is good or bad to be honest because he always has a deadpan face and if it is bad he won't tell because he'll hurt your precious little feelings but he'll be blunt as hell if it was another person

don't even wish that daisuke will cook for you. don't get him wrong tho, he really wants to but he's been pampered a little too much that he can't distinguish onion from garlic. he just thinks garlic is an elderly onion lmao

so yeah, daisuke cannot cook

but he likes cleaning the dishes with you because he can spray you with water and he'll hear your giggles. you always break many plates when you clean dishes and always drenched in water after your little fight

having the same authority with his AI. you rarely use the AI unless absolutely necessary and you can communicate with daisuke through it. you always mess with daisuke and you'll say something to the AI like "dial haru" and AI will go like "contacting haru kato" daisuke will go "cancel dial" and then AI says "cancelling contact" and you'll say "dial haru again" and the cycle goes on

late night walks are common for you two. when he comes home earlier than he originally does, he will insist you to take a walk on his private property and if he's feeling extra generous, he'll let you take him outside and to the park or something

you can take him to the convenience, the gas station, the prison - as long as he's with you, he's fine

stargazing is part of the late night walks. he'll point at a star and you'll say what constallesation that star was part of

"do you want that star"

"no daisuke"

"i can buy it"

"you are not buying a star"

daisuke : (꒪-꒪) ⇨(¬､¬)

he loves kissing you on the lips. your lips and kisses were just so addicting and sweet that he can't find another better place to kiss you

plus your blush is too adorable. he smirks whenever you get flustered. add a soft embrace to the mix, and his heart melts

daisuke will always open the door for you. in cars, in restaurants (he'll pull your chair for you too), in anywhere

he won't let you open a door as long he's there with you cause he's a simp for you

he won't care about any other person trying to enter an establishment after you enter. he'll let go of the door handle and won't even turn if he hears a loud thump behind him

you know what else he loves? hand holding. daisuke always holds your hand whenever you're outside and will only let go if absolutely necessary like going to the comfort room

he likes playing with your fingers while you love tracing the lines on his palm. you'll probably make a cheesy joke that you can see him marrying you in his future and he goes ( ºΔº )

"how do you know i was planning to marry you?" ( ºΔº ) "can you really read palms?"

you always massage each other because stress. when you massage him, he'll let out small mewls that just makes you go omg so cute but when he massages you - he will whip out the best of best stuff for massage

he will play relaxing music for you. you fall asleep whenever daisuke massages you because he's just so good with his hands

you know what else those hands are good for? touching your body in places that'll make you blush but he mostly especially likes cupping your butt because he thinks its so cute

you don't try to do the same because last time you did, you couldn't walk the day after. don't seduce daisuke if you're not prepared for a pounding

you like grocery shopping with daisuke. sure you can always order someone else to do it or you can make use of shopping as a time to bond with each other

you two work out together. daisuke is a boxer and learning that, you begged him to teach you to box but he didn't because what if he hurts you and instead, taught you how to workout and how to defend yourself

he wanted to test out if his self defense lessons were truly learned so he hired someone to pretend to steal something from you

he learned that his self defense lessons was fruitful because the man he hired came back with bruises and such

when daisuke admitted, he slept on the couch for an entire week

in your birthday, you woke up feeling nervous because it's your birthday - meaning daisuke must be up to some expensive shit

then you realized you're not in your bedroom. it was a completely different bedroom

you were scared honestly and you thought you were kidnapped until daisuke comes into your room wearing his beach wear and his shades while holding two coconuts with straws

"happy birthday. welcome to hawaii, my love"

HOW DID HE BRING YOU THERE WITHOUT WAKING YOU UP

you're just very tired the previous night after some fun activities with daisuke if you know what i mean wink wonk you wouldn't wake up no matter how many times you tried

suzue adores you because daisuke smiles more with you and you're best friends uwu so cuteeee

will always be your peace maker whenever you and daisuke fight. she ships you two. her ship cannot sink

suzue: "just hug it out now. hug it out - I SAID HUG DON'T MAKE OUT YOU TWO ARE GOING TOO FAST"

daisuke loves head pats. he wants them all the time. ruffle ruffle his hair. his eyes will close whenever you pat his head

he only wants you to pat his head. anybody else is a no no. maybe suzue but mostly just you

he lets you get all the groceries while he pushes the cart. he doesn't know the brands he sees on the shelves so he depends on you all the time

there's another reason he likes holding hands with you - he doesn't get lost. there was this time when he got lost because you let go of him and someone called you in the intercom and when you went there, you saw daisuke waiting for you with crossed arms and a balloon and its string around his wrist

the person at service said he was frowning the whole time you were gone and so they gave him a balloon but all he did was frown while playing with the balloon. he's mad because he got lost, you were gone, and you let go of his hand

you two are opposite of haru and his girlfriend in grocery shopping

you love it when his hair is down because he's so cute? can a man really be cute and hot at the same time?

the first you saw him with his hair down, you swooned and coddled him and since then, daisuke makes it his point to put his hair down more often now

taking baths together is just as great as massages. shower? you're not some commoner peasant. you use a very large bathtub

you relax with daisuke in the bathtub with bubbles and wine and sometimes he read you a poem from the poetry book he brings at times

you two always go to bathe together. but if you feel like you wanna bathe alone, daisuke will get all pouty aww and sulk aww

he will sit at the toilet seat and stare at you and when he does this, you can't hold yourself back anymore because he's too adorable and just let him join you with a sigh. he's with you in the bathtub in seconds

but if you don't, he'll leave the bathroom after a while and poke his head at the door, staring at you, as if saying this is your last chance and if you still don't allow him, there is a good chance you'll find him sulking on your bed while lying down, back facing you

just cuddle with him, he'll be fine

haru still doesn't believe daisuke got someone like you as his girlfriend because you're so kind and down to earth and you're dating this rich bastard like whaaaat

you try to make haru see the good qualities of daisuke and every single time you do, daisuke does something to piss him off

you made it your personal mission to experience the regular life of a human being without an unlimited balance

daisuke allows you to style his hair whenever you two sit on the couch. any hairstyles, any accessories, he's open so long your soft fingers are on his hair

you have always wanted a dog and begged daisuke for one but he did not relent, saying it was too much work and although it hurts to see you sad, he had to be strong

this is the only thing and time he said no to you and i'm pretty sure you heard haru scream in horror at the distance in disbelief

then one day you and him were walking down a street when a small puppy trotted up to you two wagging its tail and barking happily at you

you bent down and patted it, cooing and daisuke is wary of that small adorable pup. will it bite you? surely the pup has some common sense

you scooped the pup up and it licked your face and you were laughing and daisuke just has a sudden realization - who looked cuter? you or the puppy? or perhaps you made each other cuter?

daisuke rejected the puppy when you tried giving it to him but you forced it into his arms. daisuke and the pup kinda just stared at each other for a long time. you honestly thought you broke both of them until daisuke kissed the forehead of the puppy, hesitantly but softly

you were shooked (you swore you can hear haru screaming again)

daisuke couldn't help himself. something about the puppy just reminded him of you. it's those puppy eyes

"we need to find its owner, daisuke"

"no"

you told him he cannot buy the puppy because the owner must be worried sick

but it turned out it was a stray lil pup and you adopted her

now daisuke comes home to see you sleeping on the couch waiting for him with the pup in your arms. his heart melts every time

his small little family

for now

Daisuke Kambe let out an exhausted sigh as he parked his car in the garage. His hair was tousled, eyelids dropping, and jacket discarded on the passenger seat beside him. The case earlier has proven difficult than the previous ones he had taken. The criminal was harder to catch with his agility and athletic abilities, and was not easily persuaded when beckoned by cash. Not to mention his partner has been rebuking him the whole time, ranting about how justice workes and how money does not solve everything - basically, the usual. He was extremely fatigued, and all he wanted to do was wash up and go to bed with his beloved in his arms.

A tired smile broke his bland visage at the thought of you. The only reason he hasn't decided to spend the night at a hotel was because you weren't there. The faster he moves, the faster he can get to bed with you. Oh, he can't wait to see you and that little puppy of yours and his.

He exited the car, jacket draped over his shoulder. He sluggishly went to the front door and entered. As he delved further into his mansion, he was immediately greeted by a lovely sight. Your slumbering figure was laid out on the couch, the newly adopted puppy curling near your chest and resting with you. Warmth swaddled his heart and his eyes softened. All of a sudden, the exhaustion he felt has vanished, and all he could do was admire this masterpiece before him. You were waiting for him again.

As much as he wanted to see you like this longer, he couldn't let you sleep on the couch. There's a much more comfortable bed waiting for you upstairs. He approached you with quiet footsteps. The puppy perked up, her superb hearing picking up the sound of his advancement. Daisuke knelt down and stroked her head. "Good evening, Chico." Then he turned to you. You looked so peaceful - parted lips, even breathing. He leaned forward and pecked your cheek, smiling a small smile when you shifted. "Good evening, love."

You let out a yawn as you rubbed your eyes, body shuffling. "Daisuke?" You groaned out. "Is that you?"

Daisuke knew you couldn't see him but he nodded anyway. "You don't have to keep waiting for me like this, you know."

To his surprise, you wrapped your arms around him and pulled yourself closer to his body. "But I want to. And I missed you." You yawned through your statement as you nuzzled your head on his neck. "You still smell good after being outside the whole day. How unfair."

Daisuke let out a chuckle. "Come on. Let's get you to bed." He stood up easily even with your form carried in his arms. Chico jumped out of the couch at the same time and followed Daisuke as he carried you upstairs to your shared room, lying you down carefully on the bed. Daisuke made an attempt to withdraw from the withholding grapple of your arms around his neck but his endeavor was less then proliferant as you have established a stronger hold on him, unrelenting.

Daisuke let out a sigh as he tried to adjust from the uncomfortable stance he was positioned in. "I need to change first, Y/N." Badgered Daisuke, hands resting on your back.

Yet his words did no preclude you and you merely shook your head in response. "No," Your eyes shone with defiance, pout manifesting on your lips. "Stay."

"I'll come back in a few, love. I can't sleep in my work clothes." Insisted Daisuke, resolve crumbling the more he looked into your eyes.

"I don't care. Just stay." You grumbled.

Sometimes Daisuke sometimes wondered just how much power you had over him. He couldn't say no to you, apart for that one time when you asked if you two could get a puppy. Looking back at it, he felt guilty that he did not allow you two to have a dog earlier but if it wasn't for his stubborness, you wouldn't have come across Chico.

Speaking of the little puppy, it had successfully jumped on the bed and let out a merry howl. Distracted by the new development of the young dog, you were able to pull Daisuke down on the space beside you and did not think twice before snuggling to his side, arms embracing him tightly as you grinned happily, a happy giggle exiting your lips. You rubbed your head on his shoulders, sighing contentedly. "You're staying here with us."

Daisuke looked down at your beaming face and looked away, redness tinting his cheeks. "If it can't be helped." He stated, but he knew he made his choice the moment you had told him to stay.

Daisuke slowly wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer, and you willingly accepted his affection. You were so warm, so loving. How did he ever find you?

And then came the cloud of exhaustion. His eyelids gradually drooped over his sockets, his strength withering every second that had gone by until the last thing he saw before sleep overcame him was you and a bounding Chico burying herself in between the two of you.

#daisuke x reader #daisuke kambe x reader #fuguo keiji x reader #haru kato x reader #fuguo keiji balance unlimited #fuguo keiji #anime #anime x reader #x reader #x reader fanfic #the millionaire detective balance unlimited #the millionare detective balance: unlimited #the millionaire detective #fugou keiji x reader #fugou keiji balance: unlimited #fugou keji

[siriusmydeer]

For the Thank You Next can you do Imagine with James Potter?

thank you, next.

james potter x slytherin!fem!reader

summary: you go through the stages of love till you find your person.

word count: 2.3k

warnings: mutual pinning, over use of sarcasm it’s so bad, SWEARING, kissing, mentions of kissing, mentions of an arm falling off, mentions of injury

—0:00

‘Thought I'd end up with Sean

But he wasn't a match

Wrote some songs about Ricky

Now I listen and laugh

Even almost got married

And for Pete, I'm so thankful

Wish I could say "thank you" to Malcolm

'Cause he was an angel’

one day, when you’re young, your mother tells you, ‘there’s lots of fish in the sea, but you have to wait for the right catch’ or maybe that was just your deranged mother. normally, you thought all of that was bullshit. a slytherin princess should never be mistreated, someone whomst you honour and adore with all in your beating heart; turns out slytherin boys didn’t get the fucking memo.

the only person who did understand was the one and only, regulus arcturus black. but you unfortunately lacked sexual attraction to him so therefore you couldn’t date him, so that was a feigning issue. evan rosier was fit, top of his classes and a quite nice mop of blonde on his head, he was a quidditch player and a pureblood slytherin; so etiquette is to be clearly expected. too other schoolmates, especially the fawning girls of almost every house, he was probably the full package, one of the alpha males that roamed the hallways at hogwarts; oh were those girls the biggest knob heads to exist.

turns out he was just the biggest fucking dick to ever walk the planes of the earth, he ran around with idiots like lucius malfoy— another mistake of the century, and little severus snape; thank merlin, and salazar slytherin themselves you never resorted to him.

‘One taught me love

One taught me patience

And one taught me pain

Now, I'm so amazing

Say I've loved and I've lost

But that's not what I see

So, look what I got

Look at what you taught me

And for that, I say’

normally your first couple of boyfriends should teach you something out of the relationship, maybe what you needed to strengthen for the next time you were in an intimate relationship, like trust, communication, maybe even sexual intimacy.

all these absolute dunces taught you was to pick your boyfriends better, and to stay away from every slytherin male that had ever entered hogwarts. evan— oh, he only taught you that everyone and everything was a priority over you, always the ‘talk to you later.’ and the casual, ‘blowjob?’ comments; absolutely fucking arse. lucius, couldn’t forget his moto in your mind even if you jammed it in your strongly-witted brain that money was power and money over any atom to every exist.

regulus understood, strict pureblood parents but he still understood how to treat a partner. i guess it was nice not picking up every habit of walburger and onion— sorry, walburga and orion, noble heirs of the house of black. yeah, did i mention they were second cousins?

‘Thank you, next (next)

Thank you, next (next)

Thank you, next

I'm so grateful for my ex

Thank you, next (next)

Thank you, next (next)

Thank you, next (next)’

“you could always hang out with my brothers mates, i see them not casually oogling you.” oh regulus, sometimes you did lack the slytherin wit and ambition. he was sprawled on the malachite coloured couch, a pearly white quill fumbled between his slender digits as he started aimlessly into oblivion at the dying out fire in the midst of the frigid common room.

“yeah, let me go hang out with my best friends brothers friends, slytherin haters! such a good idea, reg. maybe they should’ve put you in ravenclaw from that amazing idea!” if you were sarcastic before, there aren’t a non-vulgar amount of words in the universe to describe the tremendous mockery in your tone; as you intensely stared into the crevices of the ceiling while laying on the opposite viridescent sofa.

“merlin, tone down the sarcasm a bit? i was just offering, it’s not like your a pureblood, or a prat.” regulus offered, looking at your form, your elbow now covering your eyes and making recurring heavy sighs every few minutes. “being a half-blood is enough for hatred, regulus, m’dear.” you sighed again, in defeat. hopeless romantic and hated by many, fantastic, am i right?

‘Spend more time with my friends

I ain't worried 'bout nothin'

Plus, I met someone else

We're havin' better discussions

I know they say I move on too fast

But this one gon' last

'Cause her name is Ari

And I'm so good with that (so good with that)’

don’t think, breath and just do what your heart tells you to. fuck that— panic, cry, scream, whatever, be scared. you were gaping at the red mass and overdue of shades, it wasn’t ugly but definitely not the prettiest colour to exist; mixed with mustard yellow. gryffindor students absolutely covered in both. well students, no, james potter, yes.

he happen to be your victim, well friend of sirius; regulus did say after all they oogled you, whatever that meant. you both played quidditch, pretty decent grades, both had good humour, your more so, i mean c’mon you couldn’t find that wit just anywhere, and well you could be best friends. well friends, acquaintances, maybe one, possibly. if only you had the confidence of a leo male, all you needed was to strut over to the damn quidditch field and say something, literally anything.

so that’s exactly what you did, your shoes crunching against the no-longer damp grass, dry after morning dew showers. your bag hanging off of your left arm, your head preoccupied with ways on how to greet someone because slytherin etiquette right now was not the way to go; it would only cause assumptions and stereotypes. i mean who the actual fuck says, ‘how do you do?’ anymore.

‘She taught me love (love)

She taught me patience (patience)

She handles pain (pain)

That amazing (yeah, she's amazing)

I've loved and I've lost (yeah, yeah)

But that's not what I see (yeah, yeah)

'Cause look what I've found (yeah, yeah)

Ain't no need for searching

And for that, I say’

enemies, nope. acquaintances, don’t think so. friends, getting there. close friends, i would say. if someone ever said they saw james fleamont potter hanging around a slytherin they would’ve assumed that someone was knocked upside the head with the biggest beaters bar you could find, but the green and red weren’t that bad of a mix after all.

henceforth, here you were giggling like school girls with james fucking potter right by the black lake. “james, respectfully, stop carrying that stupid snitch everywhere. doesn’t it weigh down your pockets?” you queried the boy who was fumbling with the golden snitch for the past three minutes, flipping his hair so he could knock the brunette tendrils from his eyes while he gaped at you.

you were glowing— the sun at its highest peek, he could’ve been on his knees thanking albus dumbledore in his office for free period; knowing james we would’ve offered to comb his beard and maybe even a shampoo and condition it while he was at it.

your eyes glittered as you chortled at him for dropping that stupid ball for the third time, your hair dancing in the wind like it was a routine, a perfect routine, your teeth glinting at the suns ethereal rays that hit you just right. imagine if james’ foolish cocky mask instead would’ve rejected your offer of friendship that one humid day on the quidditch pitch— he would’ve been the biggest git to ever stride the planet.

‘Thank you, next (thank you, next)

Thank you, next (thank you, next)

Thank you, next (thank you)

I'm so grateful for my ex

Thank you, next (thank you, next)

Thank you, next (said thank you, next)

Thank you, next (next)

I'm so grateful for my ex

Thank you, next

Thank you, next

Thank you, next’

friends, that’s what it was suppose to be. pals, mates, schoolmates, whatever the fuck you called it. it wasn’t suppose to be frenemies, to friends to lovers! you weren’t suppose to notice the navy blue flecks of colour in his cerulean eyes, the way his lips curled in a smile after he caught that silly snitch that blazed the thick sure after a hefty match, the way he brushed the tresses of hair behind your ears when the wind was assaulting your face and you were basically swallowing your hair.

now sitting with him in the library you were mentally stabbing your stygian heart, why men. why do they do things, why do men sometimes have the decency to show sympathy, and partiality with their friends. he hugged you, he kissed your forehead when you felt dejected, james potter went through the slytherin common room to bring you chocolates on your period. which fucking gryffindor would do that, huh? definitely not frank longbottom or fabian prewett.

his hand scathed yours as he pointed at how to make a draught of peace potion, his hand was warm and smooth but only from what you touched— you could see slight callouses forming on the pads of pads palm from broom handling, and the small cracks in his knuckles from the lacking use of lotion. you felt the rapid rate of your heart merely increasing at the minute from the slight touch, a rush of rose clouded your cheeks. this was so embarrassing.

‘One day I'll walk down the aisle

Holding hands with my mama

I'll be thanking my dad

'Cause she grew from the drama

Only wanna do it once, real bad

Gon' make that last

God forbid something happens

Least this song is a smash (song is a smash)’

you were mid flight, smashing a bludger in the direction of the vermillion colours. even when you were immensely sweaty, intensely panting, abundantly tired, and your arm looked like it wanted to fall off he wanted to kiss the energy back into you. james loved winning against slytherin, it might’ve been his favourite thing at hogwarts; but he would murder a pack of death eaters if it meant he got to see your smile when your emerald-clad seeker clutched that small golden ball.

both teams landed, a handshake due for the game to be over after almost two continuous hours of playing and that stubborn ball blazing the air. he meant to walk over there, a hug overdue in his prideful way of saying congratulations but he did not think that he would’ve strided over to your panting figure and clasped your soft cushion lips with his own parched ones from the continuous heaving in his breath.

your lips tasted of peach, hints of mango. your lips dried of chapstick but still smooth— feeling the grooves in your lips, they were puffy and swollen probably from the tremendous amount of times you had bitten your lips in anxiety. your lips disconnected for a moment, suddenly realizing that you had an audience of your fellow slytherins, your enemy gryffindors and not one but two shocked crowds of hufflepuffs and ravenclaws suddenly watching the private scene unfold.

james cleared his throat, looking at your grinning face that was encased between his palms, your face was significantly flushed, your chest moving every millisecond at the loss of breath in your lungs. “good, uh, good game james.”

‘I've got so much love (love)

Got so much patience (patience)

I've learned from the pain (pain)

I turned out amazing (turned out amazing)

I've loved and I've lost (yeah, yeah)

But that's not what I see (yeah, yeah)

'Cause look what I've found (yeah, yeah)

Ain't no need for searching

And for that, I'll say’

cocky, quidditch captain, school prankster, pureblood gryffindor, and head boy. that to the peering eyes of hogwarts was james potter, but he was so much more than that. he was like an onion, gross comparison but for the sake of it you’ll use it, he had layers but everyday it’s like you cried a little less and you peeled just a bit more.

he was benevolent, he guided first years to common rooms and sometimes he studied with fourth year hufflepuffs. he was sensible, sometimes, he helped out madame pomfrey in the healers wing when remus had been injured from a full moon along with any remaining students in the ward from previous incidents, not to mention, you did uncover remus’ ‘furry secret’ and swore to secrecy. and most of all, james was cherishing, he actually did give a fuck when you had a bad day, he stroked your back and hummed you stupid baby lullabies.

i mean could you imagine lucius malfoy and evan rosier humming a girl lullabies when they were upset? celebratory kisses after quidditch, bringing you snacks while you were overwhelmed in school work and actually made an effort in the relationship? they would’ve bought you a pair of red bottoms and called it a day.

‘Thank you, next (thank you, next)

Thank you, next (thank you, next)

Thank you, next

I'm so grateful for my ex

Thank you, next (thank you, next)

Thank you, next (said thank you, next)

Thank you, next (next)

I'm so grateful for my ex

Thank you, next

Thank you, next

Thank you, next

Yeah’

there was infact one thing that your past relationships taught you;

never date a man to ever be put in the slytherin house ever again.

taglist: @kittykylax @ronbrokemyheart @aspiringsloth20 @maddoxsmythologicalmind @amourtentiaa @msmb @five-cups-of-coffee @emmaev @serenitywilderness @spencerfuckingreidswhore @artemis1orion @famdomhideout @hufflepogue @dear-luna @luvvninaz @miraclesoflove @black-like-my-soul @sirius-animagus

#james potter one shot #james potter fluff #james potter fic #james potter fanfiction #harry james potter #james potter x oc #james potter x you #james potter #james potter x y/n #james potter x reader #james potter series #james potter supremacy #james potter smut #james potter angst #james potter fanart

[abluescarfonwaston]

I’d know him blind

It didn’t come all at once. He’d really thought they’d made it out unscathed. That the box he’d opened in that mage’s abandoned laboratory hadn’t worked.

As they walked back thick fog rolled in. Obscuring the sky. The path ahead. The trees aside them. Even dimming Geralt and Roach a few paces ahead into off grey.

He jogged closer to them. Geralt gave him a look.

“What? Sorry I don’t want to get lost.”

“Why would you get lost?”

“Because?” He waved at the thick grey mist around them. “The fog Geralt? Not all of us can follow a scent trail. Even if it’s yours.” He fanned the thick smell of Geralt’s sweat away.

He stopped. Turned to him.

“Theirs’s no fog Jaskier.” Grabbed his face. Studying his eyes as the fog rolled in thicker. Obscuring even Roach right behind him. “It’s clear out.”

“Oh.” His hands started shaking and his eyes grew hot. “Then I suppose we have a problem.”

And Geralt’s face; hard and angry and concerned disappeared into the grey.

 “Ah Master Witcher! Master Bard! Haven’t touched your room!” Something wooshed past his ear. Jangled at his side as Geralt moved oddly next to him.

“Thanks.” Geralt grunted moving him through the bar.

“Ah! Master bard!” Footsteps. Creaking wood. People talking. It was. It was a lot and nothing at all because he had no idea where or what or who it was. “You’ll be playing for us tonight yes? Dinner and a bath as agreed?”

“No.” Geralt growled. “He won’t.”

“Of course!” He agreed over top him. “I will however need a stage,” He didn’t remember if the bar had one. He preferred not to use them anyway. Moving through the crowds instead. But he doubted it did. “Or a chair at least. Our little adventure has left me a bit short sighted.” He grinned at where he hoped the man was.

There was a lull. Where the only noise was the bar. He shifted his feet.

“He’s blind.” Geralt said finally. He leaned a little harder into his solid mass. Steady and warm and there.

“Temporarily!” He quickly assured. The arm not wrapped around Geralt’s flapped. Smacking sharply into something. “Ow.”

“Oh!” The barkeep Seemed startled. He was further to the left than he’d thought. “We’ll set something up then! I hope you make a hasty recovery Master bard!”

“Jaskier is fine.” He assured. “Now if you’ll excuse us.” Geralt pulled him from the bar.

 “Why’d you agree to play!” Geralt snapped at him after he’d been deposited on the bed.

“I don’t need eyes to play and sing Geralt. What? Am I supposed to just sit in this tiny room and twiddle my thumbs all week?” He yelled into the darkness.

Geralt exhaled with a forced slowness. “I need to go return this.” Metal sliding on metal. The chain of the necklace they’d been sent to retrieve. That had been locked in the box he’d opened. Very cleverly he had thought. “Stay.”

“Stay!” He barked. “I’m not a fucking dog!” He yelled at after him as the door closed and his footsteps faded away.

Something creaked. He flinched away from it.

The bed was firm under him. The blanket decent but not soft.

He drummed his fingers on his leg.

Someone walked passed the room.

He grabbed the blanket and found the wall. Carefully followed it into the corner. Curled up there with the blanket around him.

He couldn’t read. Write. There was no one to talk to anymore. Just him and the grey darkness.

He hoped if someone came into their room they wouldn’t spot him. Because he couldn’t run. Couldn’t fight. Not that he was particularly good at that normally. But he couldn’t tell if he was hidden. Because he couldn’t see.

He couldn’t see.

Geralt was gone and he couldn’t see and every time something made a sound he couldn’t identify he flinched.

Temporary. Should only last a week. Geralt assured.

But Geralt didn’t know that much about magic. Or he might have been lying. To keep him from panicking.

He was panicking now. But there was no one there to see. So he let himself.

And when he was too exhausted to panic more he fell asleep and he hardly noticed the difference because everything was dark anyway.

 Someone was moving in the room.

He shoved himself into the corner tighter as the footsteps creaked the floorboards and he breathed in to scream-

His nose filled with the musk of onion and sweat.

He relaxed in a boneless heap. “You scared me Geralt. I thought you were a thief or something.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Unidentifiable ruffling joined his voice. “If you’re going to play you should go down soon.”

“Right.” He stood. Throwing the blanket in the direction of the bed. “Where’s my lute?”

There was the familiar sound of Geralt’s feet softly hitting the wood even in his boots. Far too delicate steps for a man of his size. He exhaled, the terror receding with the recognition of each step. It was gently placed in his outstretched hands.

He traced the wood. Her finish. Ran his fingers down her strings.

She was familiar. Safe. He didn’t need to see to know her.

“Alright. Help your best friend down the stairs will you?”

“We’re not friends.” He grumbled as he did exactly that.

 Playing was wonderful. Even if he couldn’t dance with the songs. Move with them. Smile and wink effectively to charm the audience of their earnings.

The after was less fun.

People approaching. There was too much random noise to figure out who they were or where exactly they were. Talking to him. He chatted back. He always loved a conversation.

It was harder when he couldn’t see them. Judge how he was coming off aside from their tone of voice and words.

Something touched his knee.

He leaped back. Knocking the chair out from under him. Tripping on it as he backed away.

There were people asking him all kinds of questions at once and reaching out to touch him and-

Geralt’s hand wrapped around his bicep. The exact shape and warmth and way he always did. Hauling him up and away from the crowded room.

“Show’s over.” He growled.

He clung to Geralt as he was hauled from the room. Thrown over his shoulder.

He couldn’t keep track of the room or the people in it or where they were going. His eyes searched the darkness uselessly.

But the leather was familiar under his fingers.

The movement of it steadying.

Something creaked.

“Stop grabbing my ass Jaskier.”

“Wha- is that what this is?” He moved his hands slightly to better feel the muscle moving under the leather. “It’s very lovely. A lovely bottom.”

The world spun and the bed creaked under him as he was roughly dropped into it.

There were several moments of silence. He wondered if Geralt was glaring at him since he clearly wasn’t putting his Lute away for him.

“I know this might come as a shock to you but I can’t actually see you right now so whatever lecture you’re trying to impart with a stern face,” He demonstrated the expected face, “and disappointed eyes I can’t actually see. So they’re actually even less effective than normal. So there.”

“I.” A pause. “You panicked. Why?”

He grimaced into the pillow. Schooled his face and rolled onto his side. Propped his face on his palm facing Geralt’s general direction.

“I didn’t panic.” He scoffed and shook his head. “You kidnapped me from my adoring fans! Very rude Geralt.”

“You fell out of your chair.”

“Sabotage!” He said too quickly. “I was knocked out of my chair!”

“No you weren’t.”

“Are you telling the story or am I?”

“Tell it right then.” He growled.

His smile partially collapsed. It was a silly thing to have panicked over. He knew that. People touched him all the time.

He raised and lowered a shoulder casually rebuilding the easy smile. “Someone touched me and I over reacted. What a shame too. I’ve heard having sex blindfolded really ups the thrill of it and-“

“Stop.” Geralt groaned.

He barreled on anyway. “If anything doing it blind has to be its own experience. Really maximizing the sensory deprivation.” He rolled onto his back. “Put my lute away and come to bed. What are you doing? Standing there like a statue all night? Is that the plan? You are no longer allowed to make plans if that’s the case.”

He heard the quiet thump of her being hung up by the doorway. The soft padding of Geralt’s feet on the wood. He scooched over on the bed for him.

Geralt didn’t get in.

He frowned and pat the mattress obligingly.

“I touched you without asking too.”

He turned to him. The grey was almost black. So it was likely dark out. “So?”

Unhelpful silence.

He patted the bed again. “Either talk or lie down you broody old man.”

The bed creaked slightly. “I’m getting in.”

He snorted. “Gathered that thank you.”

A short huff of frustration. “Don’t want you to panic again.”

He rolled his eyes. “Well excuse me for wanting to know who’s touching me before they do.”

“I wasn’t-“ The bed creaked forebodingly. Hopefully it would stay in one piece. That had been an issue at some of the cheaper inns they’d stayed at.

He popped off his doublet and loosened the drawstring of his pants. He waited to hear the familiar sound of Geralt shuffling out of his leathers.

His side remained eerily silent.

“What are you doing- Sleeping in your clothing tonight? We don’t do laundry enough as it is. Don’t make it worse.”

“I didn’t.” An irritated sigh. He stared judgingly in his direction. “Fine.”

The familiar sound of Geralt struggling out of his deliciously form fitting pants.

He wrangled the blankets over him as he tossed his trousers aside.

“Geralt?”

“What?” Came the grit out reply.

“Stop being weird. I’m blind not glass.”

“I don’t need you screaming bloody murder into my ear if I roll over.”

He reached out into the darkness and grabbed for the irritating bastard.

“That’s my pec Jaskier.”

“You certain?” He fondled it a bit more. “Damn I forget how muscular you are sometimes.”

His hand was knocked away as he laughed. Quickly grabbed the offending arm in his before it could escape.

“It’s fine Geralt. I know you in the dark just fine. It’s not like I can normally see you once the lights go out anyway.”

A quite inhale and exhale.

Geralt shuffled closer. He curled into Geralt’s chest.

“Besides.” He yawned and draped an arm over him. “I don’t need to see you to know it’s you.”

I knew you by the way your feet hit the ground and your hand felt around my arm. He didn’t say. I know you by the way the leather moves over your muscles and you exhale.

Geralt snorted disbelievingly.

“It’s true.” He tucked a leg between Geralt’s and nuzzled himself to a comfortable position. “You’ve got a pretty strong smell.”

#whumptober2020 #no.26 #blindness #fic #geraskier #geralt x jaskier #geralt #jaskier #writing #is this a companion piece to the white wolves? #Why yes it is #damn i need to work on that fic #also i wrote this on October 1st and SAT on it for a MONTH #so that takes discipline at least

[kaijurakunsobs]

You will feel joy, one day

master list for this series

sorry for the wait y'all, I had to torture myself into listening to the same song to get the inspo I needed for this next chapter which is READYMADE - Ado (it has English subtitles btw)

Hope you guys enjoy this!

Summary: It's been clear from the start that you won't go down without putting up a fight, the tone in your voice and stand are nothing but infuriating for Heisenberg, just like his mere presence fills you with annoyance. The factory is enormous and whatever he's doing here could get you killed, but even in this kingdom of oil and rusted metal, there's a bit of kindness.

Right now, you would accept the title of naive, because you were when you thought this man would share his secrets with you, instead...he's giving you a fucking tour of the entire place, wildly pointing and all the doors and doing sharp turns, taking you up and down flights of stairs "I hope you don't get lost, darlin', we don't want you ending in the wrong place, right?" there's mockery in his voice as he speaks over his shoulder, halting to a stop and making you trip and crash against him.

"This is the boiler room, you might want to familiarize yourself with this place in particular" a snarky smile appearing on his lips

Peeking inside makes you go pale and sigh in frustration, it's a mess, you can see cables, crudely fixed with tape, more flammable materials, and so many oil spills on the ground, "I can also familiarize with the rest of the fabric because this dump could explode any day"

His smile falls and that expression of annoyance, that just seems to be for you, comes back in no time. Releasing a cloud of smoke he turns around and starts walking faster, slowly regaining his showman's voice and the exuberance of his movements renew with the occasional laugh, is enough to make you tune him out again, looking at whatever you find more interesting, nose scrunching up with whenever there's something that unsettles or makes you question this man's leadership and care for this place. If you do take the role of helping him, you know you're gonna exploited day and night.

He's not blind or stupid, he knows you are doing everything but listening to him, every time he looks over his shoulder to make sure you are following and paying him some god damn attention, he will always see you eyeing everything, dissecting the place, and doing a face that just speaks volumes of how unimpressed you are by his life's work, but it's not like he will tell you about his plans, it's too soon for that, what if you are just a little spy under Miranda's orders?

It rubs him the wrong way how adamant she was on you being under his orders, super-sized bitch didn't raised too much hell, which also puts him on edge, it just doesn't feel normal for him. In any other situation where Miranda has favored him over Dimitrescu, and it wasn't because "mother" gave her that heartfelt speech Karl being all alone on his iron tower, Moreau is the forgotten child of the bunch and has to beg for almost everything, Miranda is already pissed with Donna and her botanical gig, let alone, the way she uses her cadou to just make dolls move.

That left him in the position akin to a middle child, he's just there, occasionally remembered and rarely to give him treats or surprises. He's used to scavenging for materials, do the occasional grave robbing or take the corpses the other Lords leave behind.

So, why did she left you with him?

"Lastly but no less important! the living quarters"

You have been so lost in thought, you didn't noticed that his "fantastical tour" is over, and you are back to the front of the complex...shit, you didn't even paid attention to where everything is, you're gonna get so lost if you try to navigate this place on your own.

After entering the brute closes the door behind you and goes to the left office, you can hear him mumbling under his breath and things being moved around, you don't know how long he's going to be in there, so you turn your attention to the rest of the room.

From everything you have seen, this place is the cleanest one and it makes you think of the layout in your family's factory. It looks like he repurposed what used to be the waiting area, there's a kitchen in the right corner, a couple of sofas that had seen better days, a lot of blueprints have been left on the coffee table. To the left, it's the main office, a lot bigger and the tinted glass on the door has the name Heisenberg hand-painted on it, classy, you suppose that that's his room? you don't care, opting for getting close to the blueprints, his handwriting is atrocious and there are notes everywhere, how interesting, one of the workers used to say that was a sign of a brilliant mind.

"You are not allowed to go there, a'right?" hearing him so close makes you jump, when did he come back? from the tone of his voice, you might be right, it's either his bedroom "This one, however! this one is just for you" he says oh so sweetly when pointing at the smaller office to the right opening the door rather unceremoniously.

Now you get why the rest of this area is so clean and clutter-free, motherfucker pushed all the trash and old furniture in there, it's dusty and the air, somehow, is stale only in this place, you can see cobwebs "Since I'm being kind enough to let you sleep on this side and not in the cellars, I think is fair that you take care of the mess, don't you think?"

"Can't I just sleep in one of the couches?"

"Of course not, we don't want my precious mechanic to get sick, right?" condescending asshole, he even smiles at you, showing you his teeth in what you identify as an act of intimidation

"Of course we don't want that, my Lord! but, I do must say, you have been ill-mannered, showing me around your domain yet...you haven't told me your name when introductions were supposed to be made long ago" it's your turn to give him teeth flashing smile, his going a bit forced

"Well you see sweetheart, I would have done it earlier, but I came encountered a disrespectful brat that decked me in the face as soon as we met"

"Really now? Perhaps, this brat was done with being manhandled and reacted accordingly to how they felt" the sardonic smile on your face grows and you can see how much it pisses him off, and that shouldn't make you proud.

The man is looking, more like attempting, to look down on you, clicking his tongue loudly and in a dissatisfied manner, with complete derision, he gives you, the closest thing to a respectful bow "My name is Karl Heisenberg and I'm one of the four Lords working under Miranda's orders"

In response, you give him a curtsy and use your best sarcastic tone, just for him "It's such an honor to meet you, my lord. I must say I'm no noble but I do HOPE you may remember the name of this pheasant girl, Y/N, L/N Y/N"

He doesn't appreciate the way you talk to him or how you don't even try to hide how little you respect or fear him, but he needs you alive to accelerate and optimize the factory's production, under other circumstances? he would have thrown you down to let the Sturm have some fun, but he won't, at least for now.

"So, Miss Y/N...let me give you a...welcoming gift" he's harsh when trusting a bundle of crumpled clothes and old boots into your arms, pushing you back hard enough that you almost lose your balance "I don't expect you to always wear my hand-me-downs, this is a momentary arrangement"

"Oh my! so generous of you, to clothe this poor village girl with your own garments, I am so thankful for this, however, if I may ask for a tiny favor...can I know where your bathroom is? I don't what to soil this fine fabric with my dirty body"

You don't like the way he smiles at you, with one hand he grabs your shoulder and with the other he opens the door, pushing you towards what used to be the employee's showers, there's mold and broken mirrors, a lot of the shower heads are gone and the only one that seems to be functioning is leaking.

"Serve yourself, princess, just know this...there's only cold water, the hot water stopped working years ago and I haven't felt like repairing it, I hope you enjoy your shower!"

And with that, he leaves you, finally alone but unnerved on how easily he could come back and just stare at you like a creep. But you need a shower, there's grime and dirt caked to your body and it's starting to get disgusting and itchy. So you swallow your pride and leave the borrowed clothes over the small wall separating the showers from the rest of the place and brace yourself to what might be the worst moment of the day so far.

Later you are cursing him as loud as you can, he didn't lie when he said that only the cold water worked, but you would say it was freezing, his clothes are uncomfortably big on you, and smell of faint sweat and like these were left tucked away for a long time, the boots are the best part, these have been broken in nicely and they fit you...who are you kidding? the damn things are falling apart and you feel like a clown with how big they are.

That has left you with the shining crown of the shit show that's been this whole day! the trash in your new room, you had to box so many useless papers, look everywhere to find one measly broom, and use the remains of the gown you came in with to keep your hair out of your face and as a bandana to cover your nose and mouth.

From all the old furniture in the room, the only useful stuff is the old desk, a sofa that somehow survived without being eating by termites but might be infested with cockroaches, and a lamp. It's not much, but it's something.

All this moving around now has brought a new problem.

You are starving.

You can't remember when Miranda took you, let alone when was your last meal or if you were fed during your time in the cell. But Heisenberg's fridge is empty, there's only a handful of onions and those have roots and sprouts coming out already. There's nothing substantial in the cupboards or anywhere for that matter.

You doubt there might anything to eat in this place, but, you better give it a try, better die trying than going to sleep with a grumbling stomach, right? But, you didn't learn jackshit from him and you can't remember anything from the directions Heisenberg gave you.

Fuck it.

Slowly you creep out of the small apartment and peek outside, looking around assures you that the coast is clear. This could be a great learning experience! no matter how much of a dick this man is, there's something of value in his words and maybe, just maybe, you should pay more attention when he talks...MAYBE.

The place is a labyrinth of stairs, broken walls turned into hallways and sealed doors, you do have half a mind to remember which doors and areas he pointed as "out of bounds" for you, which is a surprise, seeing how massive the place is.

Under the stench of grease and smoke, you notice, the tasty scent of stew...close, very close, your poor stomach twisting painfully and mouth rapidly filling with saliva, you start following the heavenly aroma until you reach an old cargo lift, a large man sits there and for a moment that makes you stop in your tracks.

The man is surrounded by bags and crates filled with stuff from fruits to what you guess are various pieces of machinery and other objects hard to identify in the low light "Aaaaah...a new customer perhaps? You must be Lord Heisenberg's new assistant, are you not?"

He smiles with true kindness and something similar to pity, meaty hands adorned with gold rings beacon you close "Come come, miss...?"

"Uuuuuuuh...I'm Y/N, nice to meet you..."

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance miss Y/N, you may call me The Duke"

There's something infectious in him that makes you relax your shoulders and walk closer to him "So...what do you do here Duke?"

"What? well, I'm nothing but a humble merchant, occasionally I set up shop here in the factory, especially when I have a delivery or things that may spark Lord Heisenberg's interest, and now that you are here, I will make a note to bring stuff you could use too"

"I...I would appreciate the gesture, thanks" the small sincere smile in your face drops when your stomach decides to grumble loud enough to be heard by the Duke, the man laughing at the sound, making your embarrassment worst.

"Would like to accompany me with dinner, dear? I have made plenty and this could be a small...celebratory feast for you"

"Celebratory? no offense, but...there's nothing to celebrate"

"Aren't you alive and able to walk?" he's so careful when serving some stew in a bowl, making sure not to spill a drop "I think that surviving whatever happened to you, is worth celebrating"

The bowl is warm in your hands and the smell is just divine, you take a seat on the floor waiting for the Duke to serve his bowl and then you dig in, sighing in appreciation when the rich taste of the broth fills your mouth, the softness of the meat and the carrots. You can see the Duke smile with pride when you compliment his cooking, enjoying each spoonful to the fullest.

"It's getting quite late Y/N and Lord Heisenberg is one to rise early, I suggest you go to bed or you end up feeling too tired tomorrow"

"Yeah...thanks for the meal Duke, I really appreciate it"

"Don't mention it and remember, the Duke's Emporium is here to satisfy all your shopping needs!"

You bid the man farewell and do the trek back to your room, taking time to memorize the way to the lift and the living quarters, the man might be a merchant but you want to get to know more about him, he seems nice, he's been the nicest one so far.

The living area feels cold and so terribly empty, there's no sign of Heisenberg anywhere, which you are thankful for. Only after entering your room and laying on your "bed", waiting a bit to hear any sound that might belong to the Lord, when only the sounds of the factory echo back to you do you dare to cry.

It starts slowly, your eyes fixated on the ceiling, then the flood gates open and you start to sob and scream, tears running down the side of your face to get lost in your hair leaving wet patches in their wake. But your crying evolves into fear, panic, raged breathing, and asking hands, all the weight of what happened today swallows you whole.

You don't know where to start, the way you growled at Heisenberg in the church, HOW he was able to move heavy metal without touching it? and all those corpses suspended ton hooks...the howls and things banging against the doors, the cruelty in how Heisenberg tossed you around and screamed in your face. How do you even managed to put and kept that brave face on when you were so scared is beyond you, you did it and that's enough.

The rapid and irregular movement of your chest does nothing but make your side hurt, the pain shoots up and down your body, making you curl on your side to alleviate the pressure if only a bit.

You want to die...but not like this, not terrified for your existence, not at the hands of a volatile man that can crush you with his hammer any day.

You want to live, but to live with your life depending on how well you perform your role? that's not a life at all.

Exhaustion and fatigue eventually take you away into a dreamless sleep, your last thought is...what's going to happen tomorrow?

You don't know, but as the Duke said, you survived whatever Miranda did to you and you will survive this too, no matter what, you will live.

#karl heisenberg #resident evil village #karl heisenberg x reader #re8 #x reader #the duke

[wise-the-will]

RANDOM SHIT ARIANNA HAS SAID 🍓

“A bunch of people last year in my grade made my art teacher cry”

“I think I just had the best nap of my entire life”

“HOW MUCH OF YOU ARE CANADIANS??????”

“I swear to god I’m at this corn burning thing for Christians because my grandparents are, and I’m literally atheist”

“Boring museum”

“Secret sibling?”

“affection. yes.”

“not nice”

“I swear to fuck”

“stop mentioning you’re stupid Donald trump x hopper smut fic, that was horrifying times and I’m not ready to relive that”

“wow my mom didn’t even come into my room to tell me food was here? fucking starving”

“Here I am, trying to be sad and angsty on tik tok but all I’m seeing is that stupid ahegao sex face trend-”

“Right before firework day”

“Oh no- it’s actually just a picture of my baby cousin-”

“WAIT THAT WAS YOU???”

“NOW IF THAT ISNT ME”

“I HAVE A MATH TEST”

“wow, stan your mom”

“then don’t be a dumb bitch”

“Get better soon bestie”

“I am mike wheeler”

“party rockers in the house tonight”

“ FUCK FUCK FUCK DUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK”

“LAUGH”

“THE PHOTOGRAPHY ADDITION?!?!”

“WERE TINY”

“Get squeaky clean 🧼”

“Really said peace out like Chester”

“I think I just had the best nap of my entire life”

“What do people normally do when they hit 100”

“I’m sorry but WHO THE FUCK likes salt and vinegar chips?!?!??!?!??!!?!!!!!??!”

“I want so badly to make out with one of my mutuals. truth”

“YOUR OPINIONS ARE WEIRD”

“LOOK AT THIS”

“My initials are AMS so if my parents gave me a middles name that started with an S my initials would be ass :D”

“FUCK SOMEONE ALREADY TOOK IT WHAT THE FUCK”

“I love your dad”

“you’re still sexy”

“HATE KIDS”

“BAHAHHA IT FITS THO”

“just- why is will’s ass so packing?? What’s the reason?”

“Noah. no”

“FUN”

“This is odd”

“Get em’ tiger”

“deez nuts”

“What the fuck is going on”

“✨Cat boy will✨”

“monopoly… but worse”

“WHATS WRONG WITH MASHED POTATOES??”

“🪦- in loving memory strangerbug08”

“IT ALMOST AUTOCORRECTED TO BRA JDKSJXJ”

“I WAS TOO BUSY FANGIRLING OVER PHOTOGRAPHY”

“Hope the bed bugs don’t bite”

“Sloppy”

“Slap her”

“WE’RE ON A PROFIT”

“Smiled?!?!”

“NO”

“YES”

“LORD GIVE ME PEACE”

“HE SAID HI TO ME?!?!”

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO”

“What the hell??”

“WHAT IS THIS??”

“WHY ME??”

“IM ABOUT TO PISS MYSELF”

“WHAT IS THAT??”

“69”

“M*LEVEN TW”

“🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅”

“Emo gang”

“IM SO ENTHUSIASTIC”

“AN ONION”

“THEY DON’T HAVE MAC AND CHEESE IN BRAZIL??”

“THE POINT”

“JUST IMAGINE”

“Give me a kiss PLEASE”

“🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅”

“POINTY”

“i DON’T do photography BEA”

“fae FAE FAE FAE”

“ANYWAYS”

“TOPIC CHANGE”

“the tide pod challenge. HAH”

“coco-cola is a red flag. NO QUESTIONS”

“I will get a flight to brazil AND SLAP YOU”

“THAT LOOKS LIKE A BURRITO”

“PHOTOGRAPHY”

“STOP SENDING ME PORN SITES”

“IT JUST RANDOMLY TURNED TO PINK. I DON’T KNOW”

“don’t make me squeal”

“101 actually BUT STILL”

“SHUSH”

“You think they make like. Smarties pop tarts? That’d be wack”

“Don’t call your mom a bitch. Bitch”

“Time travel is real. No questions”

“BOP IT, TWIST IT , PULL IT YURRR”

“That is actually so ironic because I’m actually allergic”

“Fuck thanksgiving. What is thanksgiving gonna do? FEED YOU??”

“STOP SENDING ME PORN SITES”

#arianna shitposts #arianna posts something funny

[ifmywishescametrue]

and bc i have no self control. #41 kisses to shut them up for rhodeytony

So this one spiraled so quickly, because I also have no self control! And now it’s a 3.4k words of 5+1 for Rhodey and Tony’s first kisses together. Hope you like it :)

The first time is something of a joke. Tony is doing that rambling thing like always, hands moving around rapidly and coming dangerously close to smacking passersby in the face. He gets more than a few dirty looks for it, but he doesn’t seem to be noticing. Rhodey isn’t even sure what he’s ranting about anymore. Maybe one of his professors, or that annoying guy in his physics class. All he does know is that he wants to get to the cafeteria before they run out of pizza and Tony walks slow when he’s talking. So Rhodey grabs him by the wrist when his hand flies in front of him again, spinning him around and planting his lips firmly against Tony’s for just a moment. It does the job of stunning him into silence, but it also makes him freeze completely on the sidewalk. Rhodey keeps walking, and Tony has to run to catch back up. 

“What was that for?” Tony asks, eyes wide. 

Rhodey shrugs, “Had to shut you up somehow.”

Tony makes an offended squawking sound, hitting Rhodey with the too long sleeve of his sweatshirt. Rhodey’s sweatshirt, technically. 

“That’s rude,” Tony says. “You’re getting me ice cream to make it up to me.”

Rhodey laughs, slinging his arm over Tony’s shoulders to pull him along. “Whatever you want, Tones.”

______________

If the first was a joke, the second is just the repeat performance. Between Rhodey’s basic training and Tony’s recent and sudden rise to CEO, it’s been almost three months since the last time they’ve seen each other. Basic has him questioning everything and feeling like a bit of failure. He should have been able to handle it better. The homesickness, the pressure, the constant grind of work. It’s been the dream for so long that he doesn’t know what to do with the feeling he has now. 

“Maybe I should quit.”

Tony snorts inelegantly, “Pretty sure that’s called deserting and it’s a crime.”

“So I’ll go on the run,” Rhodey argues, like it’s a perfectly reasonable response. “I’ll move to Tahiti or Fiji or one of those other islands. Wait, you have a private island, right? I could go there, and if anyone comes for me, I’ll just take a rowboat out to sea, and they won’t have any jurisdiction on the water to arrest me. I’m pretty sure that’s a thing. Right? It’s -”

Tony’s lips are a little sticky from the beer he’s been drinking, and his hands are warm where they cup Rhodey’s cheeks. He doesn’t understand what’s happening or why, and at first he can’t think enough to react. When he can think again he can’t decide whether to push him off or kiss him back, and he still hasn’t reached a conclusion when Tony pulls away. He doesn’t know if it lasted two seconds or two minutes, and it’s confusing to realize that he isn’t sure which he would prefer. 

“Wow, that is effective,” Tony grins. “Thought maybe it was just me it works on, but I should try that on board members sometime if it’s that good.”

Rhodey gapes at him when he connects the pieces. “Seriously, Tony? That happened two years ago, and I’m in the middle of a crisis right now.”

"No, you were spiralling and now you’re not," Tony says simply. "Situation resolved by not talking about it."

"That's not how that works."

"Of course it is. How do you think most fires get put out? By putting a lid on them until they die."

"Alright, ignoring that that's not even true, what the hell does it even mean?" 

"It's very true, and what it means is that I have put a lid on this irrational fire, so it doesn't have the chance to spread and ignite the rest of your life. Containment, honeybear. It's about containment."

"That's a terrible analogy," Rhodey says, and Tony tosses his hands in the air. 

"What do you want from me on the spot?" 

They spend most of the night trying to come up with something better, laughing and drinking the rest of the beer in Tony's fridge, until Rhodey forgets that he was ever stressed in the first place.

______________

Their third kiss is an accident. It happens somewhere in between Rhodey deciding that he hates Tony's new boyfriend and him realizing exactly why that is. 

He comes back from six months overseas, and it's a few days ahead of what he was expecting. He told Tony Thursday, but his plane touches down in California on Tuesday morning, and he gives the taxi driver Tony's address without a second thought. Tony likes surprises, and he has no reason to think this might be a bad one. 

He uses his key to let himself in, fully knowing that Tony won't be awake yet to answer the door. The first traces of sun are just starting to filter in through the windows, and Rhodey sets his duffle bag down near the door before moving into the kitchen. Tony's refrigerator is nearly barren, but there are a few eggs and a green pepper that would be rotten by tomorrow that he can make due with. He finds an onion, too, and falls into a rhythm while dicing vegetables. 

It's this kind of thing that he misses when he's away. He misses having a kitchen and making what he wants in it, even if this isn't his kitchen or his first choice of food. But he misses the simplicity of it all. Life on the base seems alternate between too fast and too slow, but this is all his own pace. 

He hears footsteps on the stairs a little after the eggs hit the pan, and he glances over his shoulder to watch Tony shuffle into the room while rubbing his tired eyes. If he had stayed turned around a little longer, their third kiss wouldn't have happened at all. By the time Tony opens his eyes, Rhodey's back is to him again. 

Instead of instantly reacting, Tony slowly wanders over and puts his hand on Rhodey's shoulder. The words are mumbled when he says, "You're up way too early," and Rhodey doesn't have time to process how strange the sentence is, because he's being kissed the second his head turns. Not the shut up kind of kiss or even that sort of friendly peck he's seen people do sometimes. It's the kind where Tony's tongue is slipping between his lips, and his hand is wandering lower. The kind that friends don't share, but lovers definitely do. 

Rhodey falls into it without question. 

The spatula clatters to the floor from his hand, and Tony laughs into the kiss before pulling back. There's a grin and a joke on his lips that's quickly replaced by dawning horror. 

"Rhodey?" Tony squeaks out. His hand flies up to cover his mouth, and through it Rhodey hears, "Oh, shit." He looks down at the complete lack of space between their bodies, dropping the hand to raise them both in front of himself like a defense as he backs away a couple of steps. "Fuck, I'm so fucking sorry. I thought - you weren't supposed to be here yet. Thursday. That's - you said Thursday. Didn't you?" 

It's like ice water with how quickly the warmth of that kiss leaves his body. 

Rhodey raises an eyebrow and plays at unaffected. "I did, yeah. Seems like you should attack an intruder instead of kissing them, though." 

Tony's cheeks turn a vibrant shade of red, and he runs a still shaky hand through his hair.

"I thought you were someone else," he sheepishly admits. "It's just that from behind you, um, well you look a lot like Ryan, and he wasn't in bed still when I got up, so I came down here, and, uh, I guess you know the rest of that story." 

Ryan, Rhodey's mind bitterly repeats. The guy Tony's spent the last three months talking about on the phone and in his letters. It's always about him in some way.  He told me the funniest story yesterday, Rhodey or Isn't he so romantic, platypus? But Tony seems happy, so he fakes a laugh at a story that definitely isn't funny retold and agrees that string quartets are romantic instead of horribly cliché. He helps him plan dates when it's Tony's turn, because apparently that's yet another adorable thing they do together. 

He just barely suppresses the sigh before saying, "Don't worry about it, Tones. It's all good."

Tony looks relieved, and after an awkward minute or two they fall back into their normal conversation like it never happened. They talk about the missions Rhodey has flown for and the designs Tony has been working on between bites of burned eggs and coffee. 

Neither of them ever mention that Rhodey kissed him back. 

______________

Tony and Rhodey are both drunk for the fourth. The music is loud at the club, and the air is a smoky haze. It's someone's birthday, he thinks, but he can't really remember anymore by the fifth shot of tequila. 

He leans back against the bar on his elbows, watching in drunken amusement while Tony tries to put the moves on someone to hold up his end of the bet. The guy looks like he isn’t quite sure what’s happening, and Rhodey laughs into the rim of his glass. All he needs is one kiss, and Rhodey will be out the contents of his wallet. He isn't even sure what those contents are, and Tony wouldn't let him check before the handshake. It could be anywhere from a nickel to fifty bucks, he figures, which is worth it to watch this complete trainwreck. 

It takes another ten minutes of flirting before Tony finally gives up and comes back over to the bar. 

“Loser,” Rhodey teases. “What happened to having ‘game so good a straight man would fall to his knees?’”

Tony flips him off and steals the glass from his hand. “He has a girlfriend, which is the only reason it didn’t happen.”

“He didn’t even realize that you were flirting with him, did he?” Rhodey laughs, and Tony pouts pitifully. 

“The no touching rule wasn’t fair.”

“A good bet doesn’t involve actual harassment,” Rhodey reasons, just like he did earlier in the night. “If you can’t get them to kiss you by flirting with just words, they wouldn’t want you touching them in the first place. It’s called consent.”

Tony rolls his eyes, “I do not need to be taught about consent. I am the king of consent. Enthusiastic, resounding consent, even.” He pauses, and there’s a dangerous look in his eyes when he narrows them at Rhodey. “Okay, I know that this about to go against everything I just said, but it’s you, and we don’t have rules, right?”

“What?”

“Just say yes.”

“Yes to what?”

Tony leans in with enough time that if Rhodey really wanted to, he could pull away. He could put his hand over Tony’s mouth or step to the side or simply tell him no and Tony wouldn’t do it. 

But he doesn’t do any of those things. 

He lets Tony cup the back of his neck to tilt his head to the right angle, and he threads his hand into Tony’s hair in return. His lips taste like the vodka and cranberry juice from the stolen glass, until Rhodey has kissed him so thoroughly that he can’t taste it anymore. 

“There,” Tony says, grinning proudly like he’s just done something exceptionally smart. His breath is coming quickly, and Rhodey’s head is spinning with the thought that he’s the one that did that to him. “I got a straight man to kiss me. Pay up.”

Rhodey laughs, full-bodied with his head tilted back. “No, man. You definitely didn’t.”

Tony’s still a little too drunk to fully understand what he means by that, and he takes it as if Rhodey’s saying that he stole the kiss, rather than earned it. He spends most of the night after that trying to get him to kiss him again on his own accord, but Rhodey doesn’t want another one like that. He wants Tony’s soft-eyed gaze on him, and his body held tight in his arms. He wants to hear him say the same words he’s saying right now, but to have him actually mean it when he says the word please. Like he won’t be able to live for another second without Rhodey’s lips on his. 

He doesn’t want the joke anymore, but he knows he won’t ever get to have the real thing. 

______________

Rhodey is half asleep for kiss number five, and he isn’t even quite sure that it actually happens. He’s lying in a hospital bed somewhere in Germany, he thinks, and machines are beeping all around him. He can’t really remember what brought him here as he drifts in and out. There was some kind of fight - that much is obvious. He sees flashes of bullets in the sky, flames, and a rapidly plummeting altitude reading. Was it a mission gone wrong? An attack they weren’t expecting? One of the machines ticks a little faster when he tries to clear his head enough to think about it, and then darkness takes over again. 

When he partially wakes the next time, there’s something warm and solid in his hand. It shifts a little, brushing lightly in circles over his skin, and it takes him a longer amount of time than it should to realize that it’s another hand. But when he does, he knows without a doubt who it belongs to, and the thought sends him back into sleep with a warm feeling in his chest. 

He finds out later that he was unconscious for three days, and Tony hardly leaves his side for a minute of it. Rhodey doesn’t want to say how that makes him feel, so he falls back on what he does know how to say. 

“You should really at least go back to the hotel to take a shower. You’re starting to smell, man,” he says after the doctor leaves the room. 

Tony gives him a weak laugh, running his hand through his hair and grimacing at the oily texture. "Maybe in a little bit. You just woke up."

Rhodey shifts against the pillows, tilting his head to get a good look at him. His clothes might be the same ones he showed up here in, all wrinkled with a coffee stain on one of his sleeves. The circles under his eyes are darker than he's ever quite seen them before, and he looks too pale. 

Tony isn't supposed to look like that. 

He's supposed to be sunlight embodied, all tanned skin and bright eyes and fluid motion. But this Tony is slumped over in his chair, small and fragile looking like the wrong word could destroy him completely. This Tony offers him a brave face and a delicate smile that doesn't reach his eyes, and Rhodey can't stand it. Can't stand that it's his own fault he looks like that. 

Stretching his arm out, he turns over his hand to open his palm. The movement tugs at his injured shoulder, but he grits his teeth to hide the pain and it's worth it to have Tony's hand back in his where it belongs. He squeezes gently, and Tony squeezes back. 

"You almost died," Tony whispers. "You're not allowed to die."

"I won't do it again," Rhodey says, even though they both know he can't make that promise. 

Tony nods, and for now that can be enough. He switches the topic to something else so they don't have to talk about it anymore. So Tony doesn't have to say what the last three days felt like, and Rhodey doesn't have to admit that his last thought before the plane went down was regret that he'd never get to have this again. 

Tony makes him laugh until his battered ribs are aching with it, until they've talked about everything and nothing and sleep is pulling at Rhodey again. It's hard to keep his eyes open, and he fights it until he can't any longer. 

A hand runs over his hair, and down the side of his face to linger on his cheek. Rhodey leans into the touch with closed eyes as Tony murmurs, "I'll come back tomorrow. Don't you dare do anything stupid like dying while I'm gone."

He feels the warmth of Tony's breath on his skin the moment before Tony kisses him. It's a barely there, wisp of a thing, right on the corner of his mouth. There one instant, then gone the next. It's the last thing he feels before slipping into sleep again. 

______________

“I’m so old,” Tony groans, flopping down on the beach chair next to Rhodey’s. “Ancient. Decrepit. On death’s door.”

“You’re thirty,” Rhodey says, and he laughs at the pout on Tony’s face. “I’m a year older than you. What does that make me then?”

“A senior citizen, just like me.”

Rhodey lifts his beer from where the bottle was balancing in the sand and clinks it with the bottle in Tony’s hand. “Welcome to the club then. We’re happy to have you.”

Tony kicks off his shoes and tucks his feet under his thighs as he settles back in the chair. It’s quiet out here on the beach, away from the crowds and noise from the party. The crashing of the waves and the distant thrum of music are the only sounds, and they watch the water in the still of the night for a while. 

“Don’t you want to get back to the party?” Rhodey asks softly, unwilling to break their bubble of peace. “It’s for you.”

Tony shakes his head. “I like it better out here.”

“Want me to kick everyone out for you?”

Tony looks over his shoulder at the house, filled to the brim and lights flashing from every window. He leans over the inch between their chairs and rests his head on Rhodey’s shoulder. “No, they can have their fun in there, and I can have mine here.”

Rhodey cards his hand through Tony’s hair, feeling warm despite the cool breeze. “This is fun for you, huh? Sitting in silence?”

“It’s always good with you,” Tony murmurs, so quiet that Rhodey almost loses it to the ocean. He’ll always be thankful that he didn’t. 

He lets his hand go lower, slipping from his hair to run his thumb along Tony’s jaw, and it would be so easy, he thinks, to kiss him right now. To tilt Tony’s chin up and turn his head to the side just a little. To brush their lips together, slowly at first, then steadily growing more desperate as he gives in to everything he’s wanted for so long. He thinks of the way Tony would sound, if he would sigh or moan or whimper under his mouth. Tony would be sticky sweet from the buttercream on the cupcakes from earlier, and Rhodey would taste sugar on his tongue. 

“Rhodey,” Tony whispers, looking up at him. The moon is reflected in the deep brown of his eyes, and Rhodey wants to keep this image of him in him in his mind forever. “Can I tell you what I wished for?”

“Won’t come true if you do,” Rhodey whispers back. 

“I think it’s the only way it might,” Tony answers, and he seems even closer than he was before. 

“What did you wish for?”

Tony’s cheeks are flushed, and Rhodey thinks for a moment that he’s going to lose his nerve to say whatever it is. He’s ready for the joke instead, but it never comes. 

“For you to kiss me,” Tony says with an unsteady breath. “For it to mean something when you do.”

Rhodey slides his hand a little higher, and he strokes across Tony’s cheekbone. He doesn’t miss the way that Tony’s eyes flicker down to his lips. “And what do you want it to mean?”

“Everything.”

“Everything,” Rhodey repeats, and Tony smiles, soft and unsure. “I think I can manage that.”

______________

Years later, Tony still likes to tease Rhodey about their first kiss, except now it's become their thing. The interrupted sentences sometimes get finished after and sometimes don't because kissing Tony is more important than whatever it was that he had to say in the first place. 

He loses count of what number they’re on. One thousand or one million, it could never be enough. They have all kinds of kisses now. Early morning, sleep-hazed kisses, and quick, little pecks on the way out the door. Good night kisses that turn passionate and desperate as often as they stay innocent and sweet. Reluctant ones when Tony is mad at him for something silly, lingering ones in apology. 

Each one still means everything.

#rhodeytony #ironhusbands #my writing #my fic #prompt fill #warmachinesocks