#THESE ARE THE FANFICS I AVOIDED BECAUSE IT MADE ME SO DEPRESSED

[coupleoffanfics]

Ranting about a possible fanfic I'll write.

Anyone reading this hear me out. There are some Yandere Batfam x neglected reader that I love. Basically, the reader is a part of the family and is ignored by everyone until some event happens leading the family slowly becoming yandere. I just love the angst.

Okay, so what if she has a boyfriend before the whole family starts going off the rails? Right, okay, so what if her boyfriend was one of the Valeska twins? Both would just fuck everything up for the family and I'd love it.

Regarding which Valeska y/n would end up with I'd see y/n dating per-spray Jeremiah. Could see him only dating y/n because she is a Wayne. I see him being the more narcissistic one out of the two even though they both are. Slowly developing an obsession with y/n as I could see her being attentive toward anyone who shows her positive attention. And that could feed into Jeremiah's narcissism.

So when y/n opens up or Jeremiah realizes that she doesn't have a strong relationship with Bruce, he'd be more inclined to dump her. He plans to get a wealthy job at Wayne Enterprises and live a luxurious life, unlike his upbringing. So dating the daughter's CEO would give him an advantage, that's at least what he thought.

He'd gently put her down so that he could focus more on other things, but…This underlying obsession made it impossible. Now he's like fuck, I actually like her what do I do now? (y/n is definitely one to say I love you first.)

I couldn't see Jerome and y/n dating just because of her upbringing. She has strong morals having been trained by Batman and formally being Batgirl for a few years. She would have had to meet Jerome before he murders his mother since that leads him down this psychotic path.

Regardless of which Valeska she dated, I'd say that she has some loyalty toward him. Seeing them as more of a victim of circumstances rather than a villain. Though that would be thrown out once Jerome or post-spray Jeremiah start harming or worse killing civilians.

I just love the idea of the when the family is or turning yandere are just like y/n who the fuck is this and why are they trying to kidnap you? Meanwhile, the Valeskas are just screaming and throwing shit that they have to deal with more bullshit to get to y/n.

y/n's Personality

Loyalty would be one of her trades as she'd do almost anything for her loved ones that actually care for her. It doesn't mean she's blindly loyal to anyone who shows her kindness.

Empathy and consideration are strong ones as y/n has a big heart. She'd be understanding why the family is busy and how much work they'd do as they are not being close. But that doesn't mean she's not hurt or frustrated when Bruce blatantly shows favoritism. Yet she doesn't want to be an inconvenience or get in the way of their vigilantism.

Inferiority complex. Being the only family member to quit being a vigilante has taken a bit out of y/n. She is justified in her reason, but that doesn't stop her from feeling less valued. She wants to be seen as valuable, so she doesn't often go to anyone for help. Fearing that it would make her look less valuable to whoever.

Depressed. y/n may smile and laugh, but that doesn't mean she's not dealing with depression. Having trouble getting out of bed and whatnot was one of the factors that made her quit being a vigilante.

People pleaser. Trying to show her value as a person by doing what most say. Or just trying to avoid as much conflict as possible.

Notable Things About y/n

Art is what she uses to express herself. Drawing or writing (totally not self-indulgent) are the primary examples. Won't or couldn't bond with Damian over this because he doesn't like her already and she's too afraid of opening herself up to him.

Baking things with Alfred if he has the time. It's therapeutic and helps combat anxiety. She also loves giving sweets to others seeing them enjoy it and showing that she’s not completely worthless.

Probably in a big sister program to provide support to those younger than her and prevent others from feeling lonely like her. As she isn’t able to help the family as much as she used to. Might even be a soup kitchen volunteer.

Hopes to have a job that’s in the creative field and move far out of Gotham. Will try to get into a college out of Gotham once she’s done with high school.

Either has a few or just one friend. Often spending the night at their place, so that she’s not alone.

Wants a normal, quiet life. Get married have kids or adopt if her partner wants to.

y/n as Batgirl

Let's say she was adopted by Bruce when she was 8. Taking about 2 to 3 years to train before even being allowed to patrol.

Become Batgirl before Jason gets killed and was probably somewhat close to Jason. His death showed the dark reality of vigilantism but wasn't what made her quit. Though it made her think of what the future would look like.

Meeting Tim, she wasn't malicious or anything. Quite the opposite and she was probably closer to Tim than Jason given that they were the same age. Didn't like the idea of having him become the next Robin since Jason's death was still recent, but didn't want to start an argument with Bruce.

It was kinda painful to see Tim dressed up as Robin as he almost looked like Jason. y/n coping that this is just keeping Jason's memory alive and she was the weird one for feeling uncomfortable.

Seeing how quickly Tim was able to gain the role of Robin while it took her a few years made her feel inadequate. Maybe she wasn't made for this but quickly got rid of that thought. Everyone learns at their own pace and Tim happened to be faster.

Jason coming back had y/n squealing out of pure happiness until he tried to kill everyone including her. Could see y/n being the one who nearly gets killed by Jason simply because she's never been a fighter. Too passive for her good. Also, she couldn't bring herself to punch him even before hearing all that he's been through.

There probably wasn't a traumatic event that led her to end her time as Batgirl. Just slowly realizing that this wasn’t her passion, feeling like an inconvenience when her depression knocks her down, and her insecurities. After quitting she avoided everyone as she couldn’t stand them trying to persuade her to not quit or expressing their disappointment in her.

By the time Damian comes around, she is not at all involved with Batman or the others. He mocks her, believing that she couldn’t handle the heat of being a hero which is partly true. If she has any inhuman power then I feel that Damian’s mocking would be more intense. Thinking that she has an advantage that one of them has yet still wasn’t enough and is wasting her power by being a civilian.

Going back to the Valeska twins. I think y/n would be more inclined to be loyal to Jeremiah if dating him rather than Jerome. Mainly because it takes him longer to harm innocent people while Jerome is just stabbing people for shits and giggles. She'd probably hope that there is a cure for the laughing toxin. Any horrible thing post-spray Jeremiah could be blamed on the toxin despite him stating otherwise. Her loyalty and hope would slowly be crushed by how the heinous acts are getting.

(I'd like to think that Jerome made the spray to change his physical appearance to look more like the Joker. Could see the Joker taking in Jerome to become the next "Joker". Was going to use it on himself until y/n expressed her distaste for the Joker. He wasn't going to stop working with or for Joker just because of that, but he wasn't going to use the spray. Which sucks because he worked so hard on it. Then just decided to use it on his brother for 3 reasons. 1) He didn't want it to go to waste. 2) He thinks it'd be funny. 3) Fuck Jeremiah.)

Having a break up with either Valeska is going to have y/n balling her eyes in her room. So the yandere family is just going to break down the door and act like they cared the whole time. "What are you talking about y/n? Us ignoring you? No, that isn't right, we hang out all the time." y/n would have liked the fact that her family cares enough to check on her, but it overwhelmed and freaked out by how sudden this is.

The family would encourage force y/n to start training with them regularly since there are two psychopaths after her. Not only will they be able to keep an eye on her, but also be able to catch up on all that time they missed.

I'm ending it here for now because I have other things to do. But I swear I'm going to get this written. No one's gonna read it, but I'm going to write cuz why not. Possible cover art for the story.

#batfamily #jerome x reader #jeremiah x reader #batfamily x batsis #batfamily x reader #yandere batfam #yandere jerome x reader #yandere jeremiah x reader #yandere x reader #I'll writ it I swear #x reader #reader insert #jerome valeska #jeremiah velaska

[relatableblorbopoll]

Round 1 of preliminaries, group 14

The first two places get a place on the bracket

Little reminder: there will be 2 more rounds of preliminaries, the losing blorbos of this poll still have 2 chances of getting in the official bracket

Propaganda under the cut

Oz Vessalius (Pandora Hearts)

"Struggles with self-worth, adores books, ADHD (though that’s not canon—but he fits the diagnostic criteria), his strongest/most important relationships are platonic"

Sound (My School President)

"Lonely gay teenager who tries to be cool and sauve but gets adopted against his will by a group of losers and then falls for one of the losers who gets on his nerves a lot because he was nice to him once and then he gets all awkward and flustered around the boy and tries to avoid him and antagonize him but the boy sees through it and they eventually end up together and he becomes the most annoying person in love ever"

Luz Noceda (The Owl House)

"adhd. possibly some autism too. a weird girl who got outcasted by being herself and sure has some WACK coping mechanisms to deal with it. self worth is IN THE DRAIN. gnc and not straight. writes fanfic. artist. goes through a depression era when at her moms house. loves her mom also. this is canon stuff i'm saying"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA she is so ASDHSUJD. Okay I started watching the owl house because I knew there was a WLW couple, so obviously I had to check it out. But upon watching the show, I got so emotionally connected to it, or moreso the protagonist, Luz, that it could go beyond some people's understandings... I remember that almost any scene showing her neurodivergent traits would hit SO. CLOSE. HOME. It would be unbelievable. I literally rewatched the show more than seventeen times one summer. She is just so goshdarn relatable man. She's the weird kid, has no friends, loves making anime edits, is OBSESSED with a book series, loves witches and magic and stuff, has ADHD, an attention span that is so high when she's engaging with something she likes doing and so low when she's bored. She's just so lovely. I know a lot of people found her annoying in season one but she hit close home to me. Season two was amazing as well and she started getting even MORE relatable!! She started showing her people pleasing, how much she blames herself, it was so sad but I was glad to see a character I could relate to so much on screen. I mean i personally didn't experience the loss of my father and I personally do have one friend whom I'm able to share my life with, but she's still super relatable. She can be so silly and so cool. And her impulsivity and the way she realized she doesn't know what she wants to do when she grows up also hit close home. Mwah"

Gundham Tanaka (Super Danganronpa 2)

"Goth autistic theater kid"

Saiki Kusuo (Saiki Kusuo no Psi Nan/The Disastrous Life of Saiki K)

"He's very dead inside, especially in the English Dub, and introverted. But even so, he cares a lot for his friends, even if he never says it to them and he finds them annoying most of the times. He also be nosey and just insert himself into others' situations that don't involve him (obviously, he makes it so that nobody knows he's there and, obviously, he's also complaining about this all the time). He's canonically aroace, or at least aroace spec He's canonically trans. He was born as a girl but he didn't like it so he immediately turned himself into a boy with his psychic powers. An argument could be made about him being on the autism spectrum."

Drew (The Music Freaks)

"I don't like him actually I hate him and love him st the same time in fact but. This man is so real and such a horrible jerkwad to everyone around him. I mean I can't relate to THAT but I should mention he also gets jelous easily, he is in love with his best friend who does not like him back, he's all moody and grouchy and bratty. And so am I and I hate it lol."

#preliminaries #tumblr polls #tumblr tournament #character bracket #character tournament #oz vessalius #pandora hearts #my school president #sound my school president #luz noceda #the owl house #gundham tanaka #super danganronpa 2 #danganronpa #saiki k #saiki kusuo #saiki kusou no psi nan #the music freaks #the music freaks drew

[pinesfamilyguidetotheweird]

Gravity Falls Thoughts: Ford and Trauma™ (Part 01; because I know I'm turning this into a multi-part series)

So...when you start to think about it, Ford has been through a lot. Because of Gravity Falls' nature as a 2-season Disney cartoon, I feel that we've only scratched the surface of all the crap this man went through.

And thanks to the fandom...good Lord in Heaven, all the flippin' Trauma!!! Sweet Moses...

I mean, other than Bill Cipher and Weirdmageddon, Ford has a level of trauma that not a lot of people have.

Of course, Ford isn't the only one with Trauma™. Really, all four of the Pines are traumatized in some way. I mostly want to focus on Ford for now.

Now, most of the trauma Ford is given is fan speculation/interpretation. The thing is though, is that these traumas would make sense if Gravity Falls was given a more serious direction. (sort of like Steven Universe, a show that is more emotionally driven)

Okay...first things first, nutrition.

In a previous post I've made (I think it was about the Feral Ford headcanon; which I may or may not go into further detail in this series), I said something along the lines of how Ford wouldn't be all that bothered by weird looking food or could even stomach strange food combinations.

While a part of me still thinks this, another one thinks of something else thanks to reading a lot of fanfics of his essentially living off of nutrient pills.

This is from Ford having to be constantly on the move to avoid Bill's reach during his travels. I'd imagine it's a rare occurrence for him to be able to sit down and have a decent meal, either at an establishment or even hunting for food. Not only that, but you have to remember that a lot of the places he went to probably don't have food suitable for humans.

So, Ford has probably taken to nutrient pills so that way he's always on the go, among other foods he's able to preserve and carry.

The thing is, living on mostly nutrient pills could only take you so far before it could be more of a bad boon. Nutrient pills wouldn't exactly give you the appropriate amount of calories a human adult male needs. Especially if they are constantly in danger.

This can lead to some malnutrition.

Yes. I took time to research this so we can properly make Ford's life more like hell.

Signs/Symptoms of Malnutrition (according to NHS)

(Other than the main concern of weight loss and BMI being low)

reduced appetite

lack of interest in food and drink

feeling tired all the time

feeling weaker

getting ill often and taking a long time to recover

wounds taking a long time to heal

poor concentration

feeling cold most of the time

...feeling cold most of the time...

"feeling cold most of the time"

...And who wears a turtleneck sweater/trench coat combo during the summer?

And, lastly, Low mood, sadness and depression.

Furthermore, it would seem that Ford would have developed a low tolerance to actual food (other than bland, mushy stuff) and is probably incapable of eating a whole meal without throwing up.

It's a struggle to be sure, especially if Ford already has a history to forget meals, even as a child (may or may not be projecting here as someone who forgets to eat)...not to mention the months of paranoia due to Bill prior to being sucked into the Portal.

I'm honestly imagining a scene in which Abuelita (bless her soul) tries to feed Ford when she sees how skinny he is...or at least what she perceives as skinny. And no one (no one) can say no to Abuelita Ramirez. And it's Mexican food. There is absolutely nothing bland about it. And Ford does his best to eat it...only to scurry into the bathroom after three bites. He didn't mean to be rude. It was honestly very delicious. Ford's body just couldn't handle it at the moment.

At least Abuelita is understanding of the situation and becomes Stan's right hand woman on his quest to help Ford with his eating habits.

...Great, another idea for an upcoming fic...I had a title in mind but I feel like I should call it *Trauma* Ford Edition.

#gravity falls #stanford pines #grunkle ford #ford pines #gravity falls thoughts #trauma

[alexies101]

Cuddling and Care (Fanfic)

[Thank you for the love on the last one, so grateful! 😄 comment below if you want my wattpad user, I usually post there)

Sick in bed, Hamilton continued to write until his wrists became too sore to hold a pen. He laid there, bored as can be. He didn't like being ill. He was too weak and dizzy to do the things he liked, such as writing or running.

He turned over to the door of his room, his head aching. He missed Laurens, but he's unsure of how the other felt about him. Certainly not highly, considering he takes every opportunity to avoid him. But the redhead liked him. He was tall, manly, and was the only one who could understand his Caribbean accent. Maybe one day, in his stupid heart, Laurens would pick him up and kiss him all day and night.

His eyes felt heavy, everything was spinning.

-

"There's something not right."

-

"Doctor, cadet Hamilton has been asleep for about three days as of now. May you offer your best help?"

"He must be taken to medical immediately."

-

The soldier woke up days later, dizzy and fuzzy. He was clinging into something or someone. His eyes were blurry. He saw a face, a beautiful face. The face said something, but his ears were ringing too much to hear. He felt cold. He clung to the body.

-

"Laurens, do you adore me so?"

"More than anyone, my dear boy."

In his dreams, they kissed. They held each order. Laurens wasn't angry nor depressed. It was the only time he smiled. He wanted to be with him and never let him go.

"May we get engaged?"

"Yes!"

They will get married at sunset. Their eyes would lock as their lips would fuse together. They would touch each other's faces and bodies. They would have sex. They would have decades to love each other, and nobody could ever stop them.

-

It was on day ten when he was finally to know what was going on. All his friends were concerned, Washington had a stone-face, and the doctors had to keep their eyes on him 24/7. He was informed he had a severe case of Scarlet Fever. The tall body returned, looming in the shadows. He reached out for it. He saw it pause, unsure of what to do.

"May you come forth?" He asked with his arm reaching out to it.

His fever took hold, and he collapsed just as the body began to rush to him.

-

Stable enough to walk, he strolled outside, the cold air getting into his clothes. It felt so nice to finally not be ill after those miserable two weeks, though he knew another bout of winter illness would come eventually.

"Hamilton."

He paused, turning his head to the voice. He saw the tall body before, and now, he could see its features. Dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, scars.

"Laurens! What a pleasant surprise!" The taller walked up to him, his fingers trembling. "May you walk with me?"

"Yes, of course." His strange accent made his heart skipp a beat. "I need to speak with you if you would be so kind."

"Alright then."

He looked to the sides before having an arm around him. Hamilton tried not to blush as his soul did backflips.

"Before I begin, how are you feeling?" His voice was oddly gentle.

"Oh my, thank you for asking." He wanted to punch himself for his voice crack. "I am doing swell, though still a bit lightheaded."

He felt his grasp getting tighter around him. He blushed. "May we go back to our room, then? Mustn't faint on me."

The walk was silent. Hamilton wanted to jump up and down and wrap his arms around him. He didn't see how uncomfortable and almost frightened Laurens looked. They arrived and sat on the shorter's cot. He recently got a new one because all his possessions needed to be burned.

"What do you need to discuss, Laurens?"

"Please, refer to me as John."

Hamilton blushed so deeply that the other touched his face in fear of another fever, his heart beating fast. "Um, of course, John. Refer to me as Alexander."

John touched his shoulder again. The redhead felt so happy that he became slightly lightheaded. "Alexander, do you remember when you became ill and you awoke to someone by your side?"

"Yes?"

He took a deep breath. "That was me. I saw you in medical, I carried you to the tent." He looked away, tears swelling in his eyes. "I prayed."

"I always believed you held distain for me. You never spoke to me, nor did you want to be close to me."

John looked up. Hamilton gasped when he saw the big tear rolling down his face. He glanced at the other crying before, but this was the first time he's ever cried in front of anyone.

"I'm ill in the mind, I have a plague. I.." his big hands were trembling, Alexander went to hold them but stopped himself. "...I wanted not to have feelings for the fairer sex. I have feelings for the same sex." He wiped a tear from his eye.

The other, moved by the scene, chuckled. "Then you ought to be contagious." John raised his eyebrow, his heart now beating hard as well. "Lau-, I mean John, I happen to adore both sexes, and I just happen to adore you."

There was silence. Alexander felt feverish again. Did he say too much? Would John like him now? He slumped into Laurens, feeling warm arms around him and laying his heavy head on his shoulder.

"Are you well?" He never heard him sound so worried.

"Yes....just dizzy." He got up, bashful from embarrassment and the fact that John touched him in such a way.

Laurens chuckled nervously. "Alexander, you adore me?"

He took a breath. "Yes, I adore you as though you were a woman." It felt so strange saying it aloud. "Do you-"

"Yes, oh dear God, yes!" His voice was cracking with despair and desperation. "Since I've laid eyes on you! I adore everything you do, up to the way you care for your beautiful hair down to the way you hold the pens! I love you!"

It happened so quickly. Alexander hugged him, and the other did it back. Their lips smashed together. Hamilton became dizzy. This is all he wanted for so long. His body became heavy.

-

He woke up later that night, Laurens by his side. He looked miserable and frightened. He sat by him, his hands trembling.

"I thought I killed you!" He cried out as he stroked the curls that teased him for months. "You fainted!"

He sighed as he rubbed his forehead. "I'm well, I believe the excitement got to me." He blushed wildly as he stroked Laurens' scarred face. The other blushed as well.

"I'm so terribly sorry, I did not mean to harm you." His voice was gentle again. He put his hand on his pink cheek, his hand covering the entirety of it. "I would never harm you, my dear boy."

"Dear boy?" He was all smiles. "I love you."

That was the first time Laurens smiled. It was a beautiful smile of yellowish teeth and crooked teeth, a smile that lights up a dark room. "I love you as well."

John pulled him into a gentle embrace and led him to his lips. Alexander put his hands on his face to stroke his peach fuzz. They kissed. Laurens held him extra tight, just in case he fainted again. He bounced his red curls. He looked so beautiful. His long eyelashes and cheekbones looked almost like magic.

The taller pulled away, his arms still around him. "I love you."

"I love you so much." A tear ran down his face. "So much..."

His heart broke as he wiped it away with his big finger. "Mustn't cry..."

"You must be aware of this. When I was ill, I had dreams. Dreams, about you." His glance was gentle and warm. "You would hold me so tight to your skin."

"Such as this?" His heart felt hot with tenderness. Nobody had ever dreamt of him before.

He giggled, covering his mouth. "A bit closer, if you ought to know."

"Hm." He pulled his skinny body close to his stomach, Hamilton blushing from the warmth he ratied. "This?"

"Haha! Yes, yes!" He held his face in his hands. "Alas, it was you. It was always you. And now that we're together as so, it's-" the tears started again. "-a wonderful thing!"

Laurens kept smiling, rubbing his back. "It is so."

They embraced, kissed, kissed some more, and then just laid in the bed. Laurens had never felt so happy before. Love really was the key. Hamilton, at long last, finally got what he wanted.

"I love you, John." He whispered before he went to sleep. "I love you, I love you."

The other held him, protecting him from the cold. "I adore you. I cherish you." He kissed his forehead, his lips making a soft sound. "I love you, Alexander.

#fanfic #writeblr #writing #john laurens #alexander hamilton #hamilton musical #hamilton #hamilton fanfiction #historical lams #lams #fluff #nosad:)

[blackheart1454]

We own you (Yandere!Creepypasta x Abused!Depressed Reader) Chapter 1

Warnings!: Abuse, violence.

Minors get the fuck out of here! 🔞+

Hello everyone! This is my first Creepypasta x Reader fanfic, I hope everyone enjoy it! I must apologize if the fanfic have grammar and spelling mistakes, english isn't my native language, but I'm trying very hard! 

Thanks and enjoy the story

Chapter 2

I was panting heavily, feeling the blood staining every part of my body. I was chained against the wall. Naked, cover in boiling water burns, cuts, cigarette burns and bruises. Why I am here? Let me tell you my history. I used to be a happy girl with a normal life. I had two lovely parents, that were worry about me and always made sure that I had everything I need. My mom was a nurse and my father a journalist. I barely remember my mother, she was always busy at the hospital, she worked the whole day, and when she didn’t, she came home pretty late and, in that circumstance, my father was my best friend. He used to look after me, he used to take me to school, he used to listen to my problems… he used to love me.

One day, my mother got terrible sick, and my father did everything to cure her, to find a treatment… but as time passed, my mother’s illness became increasingly worse. She died one Friday at 12:00 am. From that day, dad started to act weird. He started to avoid me in every way, like I never exist. I never see him until night, but he was passed away on the coach with a smell of alcohol. That routine continued for 2 months. I knew he was having a hard time by dealing with mom’s death, I was waiting for him to recover, to return to the lovely father I knew, but I was wrong. So wrong.

Who knew that my life would become a nightmare overnight? First the insults began, then the beatings, finally the torture. I never knew what I did for deserve this, the only thing I was sure, he was always blaming me for mom’s death. I had to deal with the pain every second. There were days that I was bruised so bad that I hardly had the strength to stay awake. I never told anyone about this, he treated to kill me if I did… because of that I never had friends.

“Well, well, well, look what we have here.”

I was so focus on my thoughts that I didn’t notice the man entered to the room.

“Did you sleep well you little shit?” he whispered in my ear.

“Y-yes..” I said. I could barely talk, my throat hurt from screaming and I hadn’t drink water in days.

“Yes, what? And look at me while I’m talking to you!” he pulled my hair to face him clearly annoyed.

“Y-yes.. s-sir” I replayed softly.

“I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” he shouted angrily.

“YES SIR!”

“That’s better” he said pleased while unlocking the chains. “Get dress, you have 5 minutes and don’t keep me waiting.”

“Yes sir!” I said, and immediately ran to my room. I open the closet to put the first things that I found. I was kidding, I didn’t have a closet. I didn’t have furniture at all. That man sold most of the things of my room to buy alcohol and cigarettes. The only thing I had was an old futon that I used as bed and my cloths that were throw to the floor. Most of the were rip apart by the man when he was in bad mood. I only have simple t-shirts, sweaters, hoodies and jeans. I picked up (f/c) sweater, a (f/c) t-shirt, black ripped jeans and black combat boot. I took my bag pack and ran out of the house. My father was already waiting in his black car, with hesitation I approached it. Lucky for me, he didn’t say anything and started the car. It took around 25 minutes to arrive to school, the ride was uncomfortably silent. It was the same routine every fucking day. Waking up, dress up, go to the hellhole which is call school, return to home, eat a half bread, do the homework and the beating sections. I got out of the car and enter the building.

“Hey look the freak is here.”

“What a slut.”

“She looks like a mummy with all that bandages on.”

“Emo freak.”

“Why the hell is she still coming here?”

Same day, same routine, same idiots who don’t have anything better to do, it didn’t matter anyways. Since my father started to abusive me, nobody approached me because of the horrible bruises I have and they got me nicknames like the “emo freak”. Just keep going (Y/N), and let the idiots be idiots. I entered to the classroom, that was empty and wait for the teacher. I put on my headphones and listen to (f/s) while sketching on my math’s notebook.  Little by little, it was filling up the people. A little later the school’s bell rings, the teacher followed by enter the room.

“Good morning everyone” the teacher said.

“Good morning” everybody replied, except me.

“You have a pop quiz, so take out your pencils and keep everything away.”

Everybody complained and the teacher just ignore them. Lucky for me I have nice grades on (f/s). While doing the quiz, I couldn’t help but notice that there was something or better… someone watching me outside. I looked thought the window and saw what it looks like a monochromatic clown, and he had an evil smirk on his face.

“Miss (l/n) is there something wrong?” the teacher interrupted me.

“Eh… w-what?”

“I asked if there is something wrong?” the woman said annoyed.

“Eeehh… n-nothing miss” I murmured.

“The hurry up! You only have 20 minutes to complete the quiz!” she said while the others start to complain again.

I looked thought the window again, only to notice that the creepy clown was gone. What the hell was that?

??? P.O.V

-Soon. Very soon, just wait dear (Y/N), we will come for you. We will end your pain, you will be happy with us, you will love us…. Because you don’t have choice.-

----------

This fanfic is also published on Wattpad, Quotev and Archive of Our Own, my user name is the same.

Please consider supporting on my Ko-fi account.

#creepypasta #yandere #yandere x reader #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #creepypasta x female reader #jeff the killer #slenderman #ticci toby #masky #hoodie #eyeless jack #laughing jack #creepypasta fanfic

[killakirby]

ephemeral (bang chan)

developer notes ☽: inspired by my ig for you page being bang chan bf edits...i did not ask to be depressed because i can't find a man suitable for my standards :) fuck u christopher for being so fine tonight

soundtrack☽: birdie - kota the friend

notifications☽: 818 words, fluff, not proofread, gnl!reader

"time is our only dilemma"

a warm yellow-toned ambient glow is cast within the bathroom from a small desk lamp that you’ve commandeered as a substitution to the harsh fluorescents of the room’s installed lights. a small bluetooth speaker rests on the countertop next to the lamp on its third to last volume setting cycling through a random spotify playlist you’ve selected. it’s probably one out of the hundreds of comfort character playlists you’d never tell a soul that you listen too.

but, you realize that chan’s most likely seen the embarrassing and unending list of the cutesy-fictional catered playlists you’ve become obsessed with in the previous weeks as he’s logged in to your spotify account on his phone. a few months ago, you discovered a new playlist hiding within your massive library that you didn’t add or create, entitled “songs i listen to remind me of you.” that was at the front of your recently played, the cover photo being a picture of you asleep on the couch in chan’s studio (a photo chan’s never shown you). when you clicked to investigate further, you were shocked to see the playlist filled with over a hundred songs, and a description filled to the word limit. tears filled your eyes as you read the romantic note chan had left for you to see, and you listened to the whole playlist while cleaning your entire apartment. there wasn’t a single moment that the heat left your flustered cheeks or the sweet smile left your face. and when you met with your boyfriend in person, you certain that he was blushing underneath his mask when you alerted him of your findings, and he revealed that he was going to surprise you with your specially curated mixtape on your next visit to his studio. 

when you asked why he was giving you such a sweet gift so randomly, his answer came without hesitation. chan said, “there doesn’t need to be a reason for me to express my love for you. of course this gift is meaningful enough for valentine’s day, or an anniversary, or your birthday, but any day i have with you is enough for me to treat you like the love of my life.”

and after a revelation like that, how could you remember the embarrassing fanfic-esque playlists you had downloaded to your phone? they literally don’t matter anymore, not when you have a whole dime piece, respectful, sexy, intelligent, thoughtful-ass christopher bang chan confessing his undying love for you.

that’s all to say that you probably should’ve selected that mixtape to play through tonight, but it’s too late to change that fact, as you would hate to disturb the bubble of space you’ve created in the bathroom to retrieve your phone from the bedroom. and to interrupt the peaceful bath you and chan are enjoying. it’s a rare night that chan was able to join you in your apartment instead of you going to his dorm to see him, and the night is made more precious at the fact that he fought his workaholic tendencies to join you earlier in the evening around seven pm rather than his usual appearance past midnight. and a spontaneous date night was suddenly underway; you and chan cooked dinner together made from the dregs of ingredients in your sparse fridge (grocery day is tomorrow), made progress on cleaning up your animal crossing island together, and even got a few episodes into a short anime you wanted to watch with him. a bath was the only reasonable option to end the cozy date night you both started.

the water is probably half-an-hour away from transitioning from warm to lukewarm, and the bubbles are starting to become sparse. you’re nestled in between his legs, back pressed against his muscled-pillowy chest, head resting aside one of his shoulders to avoid smushing shower cap against his face. chan’s head is propped on the shower tiles, his neck elongated and your fascinated with the view of his adam’s apple bobbing and throat swallowing as he speaks softly to you. his eyes are shut, but he opens them every time you speak to him, seeping with the adoration he has for you. his hands rest on your waist underneath the water, and every so often he squeezes you lighty, and traces patterns on your skin he only knows. eventually you two find yourself running out of things to talk about, but the silence that follows isn’t uncomfortable. you gladly allow your eyes to flutter closed, and chan begins humming softly; both of you are well aware that you should wrap up the bath, as you both still have early starts tomorrow morning, or rather–this morning.

moments like these are few and far for a man of chan’s lifestyle, and neither of you are going to be the one to cut it short. while this scene is ephemeral, that does not mean it is insignificant.

much love, <3 kirby !!!

© killakirby - piracy and plagiarism are not allowed. no reposts on any form of media

#kirby's crafts ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ #⋆｡°✩ drabble #✩...bang chan...✩ #☾...stray kids..☽ #stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x gn reader #skz x reader #stray kids fluff #stray kids fanfic #stray kids drabble #bang chan #christopher bang #bang chan x reader #bang chan x y/n #skz x female reader #bang chan x female reader #bang chan drabble

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

You know, I'm a lurker here, I used to spend a lot of time on tumblr, loved Choices, specially Open Heart. I also wrote lots of fanfics, with Bryce as MC, and today I logged in and... Can I just say how sad it made me read about Bryce having depression? Sad but also understood, because you read his character so well. Everyone writes him so simple, charming and non-chalant, happy-go-lucky; without realising he has a lot of issues. The thing with his parents it's BIG. The thing with Keiki is real stuff, but everyone writes him as if he just cares about his hair and surgeries, but he's more than that. So you writing about Bryce struggling, having his house a mess and not being able to do anything for it, and having a partner that helps him with it without recriminations... It just... Made my heart swell. It's what my MC would've done, because they have struggled pretty serious too. So. Yeah, thanks for this, for giving him humanity even if he's just a goddamn Choices' character. Bryce deserves the world. Deserves being supported in difficult times, so thank you for showing him in such a true light 🤍

have been screaming over this all morning bc YOU GET IT!!!

"even if he's just a goddamn choices character" THIS IS WHAT I MEAN. he is a short lived character in a mobile story app that is currently in its downfall. but he's the character i, and others, choose to write ab. choose to create for nearly every day. even though he IS just a choices character, what he represents, to me, is more than that. his character had so much potential (more than pb probs meant to give him) and like. i needed to do something w it

i am the first person to say a character has to have some good trauma for me to truly enjoy them, and he is exactly that. he has a fucked up family and somehow he came out of that "unscathed"? like all he is is a pretty surfer boy w good hair and obnoxious confidence? no!! that is coping baybeee. he is literally hated by so many people in canon and truly does not have many close friends besides mc. like. his character is SET UP for this shit. yeah im gonna pack him full of issues bc he HAS THEM!!

his dysthymia is a super important part of his story (in my hc) bc it is so easy to mask. he puts on a confident face for everyone all the time bc then they don't ask questions. but being at home alone all the time? being independent since 17-18? separating himself from his family so suddenly that it becomes habit for him to avoid the potential for that closeness again? it's gonna hurt him

and on top of that him being demiro is very hard in relationships bc most people dont get it so even in that sense it makes it difficult for him to make connections. people would rush him into relationships he didn't really care about so yea it was gonna crash and burn. obvi

so to have an unknown like that where all of his friends are possibly leaving including the only person he's every truly wanted in both a sexual And romantic way? not gonna go so smoothly for him

#i could go on but alas i am eepy. so. #n e ways thanks for this!! #bryces character is truly one of my favs in media #bc there is depth behind everything he does and why #and sure people are free to just take the surface layer #he has that surface layer for a reason. bc he doesnt Want people to see more than that #but actually creating characters who are able to see past that. that he ALLOWS to ask questions. yeah <3 #bryce lahela #asks answers #keep

[sincerely-sofie]

The finishing of this fanfic has left me with some pretty mixed emotions. On the one hand, I dont want it to end. It's such an incredible piece of work and even though I finally committed to reading it a few weeks ago, it already feels like such a significant part of my life. On the other hand, I'm a little glad that it's over. FAR from the sense it was bad (I'll steal your liver if thats how you interpret it) but moreso in the sense that it was like a good crying session. It's something that a lot of us (or I assume a lot of us) typically want to avoid even though we know its good for us, and satisfying after the fact. It's like catharsis in a way. Endings aren't always a great feeling in the moment, but it's something that we can look back on with a fondness.

I'm so glad I found this work. I'm being completely serious when I say that this fanfic, and the other content you make, has changed my life for the better. Its helped me reconnect with that love I have for creativity after nearly a decade of not making anything even though I wanted to. It's helped pulled me out of a few ruts of depression. It's helped me realize that I'm not actually emotionally stunted (per my own conclusions) and be more willing to cry instead of burying those feelings. In the past I would just, kill these kinda thoughts before they got far because of how much I wanted to avoid crying. Much less actually writing them down, or express them to someone else. But now, I've been crying the whole time I write this, and for the first time in, I think ever, I'm okay with that. I know we don't actually know each other, but you've genuinely helped me become a better person with the things you make. Thank you so much for everything you've done Sofie. hey look! I got your name right!

But enough about me. I feel like it's getting indulgent at this point. (I've gotten dehydrated with how much ive cried writing this and from what I can tell, you cry a lot more than I do. So go drink some water first, and then) I wanna hear your thoughts. What are your thoughts and feelings about your work being finished? Do you have plans to take a break from creative endevors for a while, or are you gonna keep going? Are you going to be expanding more on this and other au's, different fanworks or move into something completely your own? Whatever the case may be, I'm excited to see what more you are going to come up with!

From the bottom of my heart, and on behalf of everyone else, Thank you for everything.

It's so surreal to have posted that final chapter. I finished the first draft almost 100 days ago exactly, and I spent a number of days after completing it kind of adrift. I'd go to my computer every morning like I had during the month prior and sit down, ready to write, only to remember that I was actually supposed to be taking a break before I made the final edits.  It didn't click in my head that I had actually done it… until a couple weeks later when it hit me like a truck that I had an entire completed manuscript sitting in my Google Docs. I think I was making myself lunch at that moment, and I had to bolt to lie down on the floor and put my legs up against the wall because I was ready to pass out at the realization. 

This feels pretty similar. For me, The Present is a Gift— the main fanfic, at least— was finished in mid-January. But the process of uploading it and agonizing over what people thought of every passing update wouldn't be formally done until about 3 months later. It still hasn't clicked in my head that I won't be posting a new update once Tuesday rolls around. 

On the subject of taking a break— I've actually been taking a break, at least partway! I've barely written anything after I finished TPiaG's first draft, and I haven't drawn much “serious” art, for lack of a better word, since I started my blog. I've still been making things, yes, but scattered oneshots and sketchy pieces without solid lineart are not my typical fare. I'm usually a lot more “exact” with what I make— words fail me here— I hope I'm not being too vague! I might take a brief break as I finish up the winter semester, but that would be less a break from creating and more of an “OH MY WORD I NEED TO FOCUS ON NOTHING BUT PASSING THESE COURSES” kinda thing. 

TPiaG (along with its derivative AUs) is still very much a living project to me— there's a lot more stories the characters have in them, even if I struggle to envision a full-on sequel. I'm absolutely going to answer the asks relating to it that I've received over the months along with any I continue to receive, and if I get any ideas for comics or oneshots here and there, I'll make them. As for what's officially next up on the Sincerely Sofie menu, I'm planning to make a visual novel that's a lot more meaty than the last one I made. I'm not sure if it will be original or based on TPiaG— but a visual novel is the medium I'm planning on! 

I'm so overwhelmed by your kindness. I truly don't have any words. This project started off as something private to help distract me from a depressive episode and to process trauma, and it's become so much more. I'm so glad it was able to help you. Catharsis was the keyword for TPiaG— I wanted it to uproot difficult emotions and help people start to heal from them, but I never dreamed it would really help anyone but myself. So to hear it was able to provide you with that is unbelievably meaningful to me. 

I gave myself the goal somewhat recently to let myself cry whenever the urge strikes me. I used to go months without crying, and whenever I did shed tears, it was alone in my room while muffling the few sounds I accidentally let slip. I'm a natural crybaby, but I had schooled myself into thinking for a number of reasons that it was bad to cry— that it was selfish, or attention-seeking, or weak— so I've been trying to reclaim my teary-eyed identity. It's been difficult, but it's so freeing to let myself feel things fully. All of this is to say: let the tears fall. I've helped more people by crying than my stoicism ever did. 

Thanks again. I can't properly word my gratitude, but know that it's overwhelming :,>

#sofie answers asks #the present is a gift au

[purdledooturt]

Thank you, @cinnamontails-ff, for tagging me - I really enjoy filling out these things 🙈

How many works do you have on AO3? 25.

What's your total AO3 word count? 50,253

What fandoms do you write for? I am currently writing for Baldur's Gate, and I'm thinking of dipping my toes into Spy x Family, but according to AO3 I have written for: Baldur's Gate, Layton Brothers: Mystery Room (the iOS spin-off), Professor Layton, Persona 4, Pokemon, Welcome to Night Vale, Fire Emblem: Awakening, League of Legends, Frozen, Resident Evil (Village, to be specific), Lovely Complex, and Mystic Messenger. Additionally, from Fanfiction.net, I have written for Twilight, Legend of Zelda, Doctor Who as well.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1. Pecking Order - Fire Emblem Awakening (305 kudos) 2. Backseat Gamer - Lovely Complex (237 kudos - smaller fandoms are sleepers, I swear) 3. The Rules Don't Apply - Layton Brothers: Mystery Room (218 kudos) 4. Happy Birthdays - Layton Brothers: Mystery Room (163 kudos) 5. Trapped in the Courtroom - Layton Brothers: Mystery Room (146 kudos)

Do you respond to comments? I used to not - mainly because I forgot my AO3 details and I never checked it! I don't actually get emails from AO3 to let me know I've gotten comments, so by the time I'd noticed it would be months ago that someone had left it. But I'm more on top of it now, and I try to reply to everyone who comments to thank them for their time at least.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Got me out here checking my fics and trying to remember what's what - I think I tend to avoid angst because I have to fight myself on the daily to get out of that mindset, and mentally I'm not quite separated enough from it to be able to look at it objectively without it absolutely ruining my mood. Apparently my angstiest fic in AO3 in general is Accepting Defeat, and on the grand scheme of things it's actually quite mild, so there you go. There's probably some borderline depressing things on my Fanfiction.net account, given I was a teenager with no emotional regulation back then, but I ain't digging for that.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I love 'love'. I love hope. I love happy endings. Soooo this question is actually terribly difficult for me. Hang on, let me have a look at the old catalogue and see. I'll give you the gremlin is encumbered again, only because that made me laugh the most and I really liked exploring that minor camp dynamic in BG3 for the ending.

Do you get hate on fics? Thankfully, no - I usually write for smaller fandoms so normally people are just stoked to see content.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I've only recently started, so I'm still working on it. I have a few on the pipeline but my first one is my currently only contribution to the Resident Evil: Village fandom, and it's for the Heisenhoes. I like to provide.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I don't have any crossovers published anywhere but I'm sure I've written them when I was younger, in some notebook somewhere, but nothing comes to mind. It was definitely, most likely, an anime x anime crossover.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I am aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Again, not that I am aware of!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No - I have commitment issues and writing comes and goes for me as a hobby.

What's your all-time favourite ship? Oh god, this is hard. I don't know!

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I don't write multi-chapter things because I am useless, but I did have this Egoshipping fanfic I wrote that I have published in Fanfiction.net (I really ought to move it to AO3 - maybe I'll rewrite it). It's called Being Second (warning, that's a fanfiction.net link), and it was pretty angsty but the last update for it was nearly 10 years ago now.

What are your writing strengths? I'd like to think I do humour pretty well.

What are your writing weaknesses? Oh, boy, where do we start? I can't finish anything multi-chapter for the life of me because I lose interest so quick, and the weight of expectation gets to me. I can't be consistent with anything, and I've only started writing out plot instead of just pantsing it with no general idea of what I'm doing. I tend to get lost in characterisation because I'm too self-indulgent. I have a lot.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Here's the cringe bit, because I was young when I started writing - I used to type out Japanese phrases in romaji in my Detective Conan fanfics. It definitely would take me out of the experience now if I were reading it, so it might be a bit jarring if not done right.

First fandom you wrote for? I'm checking fanfiction.net for this one, because that's where your girl's roots are. Apparently, Twilight! 2009.

Favourite fic you've written? Please don't make me choose between my children. I'm proud of everything that I put out, because it is a battle to even muster up the courage to put myself out there in that way. BUT if I had to, I would pick Pecking Order, not because it's the one with the most Kudos but because I genuinely blow my own mind when I read it, thinking 'I wrote this?'

I can't think of anyone to tag so I'll leave an open invite to whoever would like to fill this out too 🥰

#purdle-chatter

[breezy-cheezy]

I just want to say it's been delightful watching you get into One Piece. It's been one of my main fandoms for years, but most of the people I was following who posted about it moved on to other things and I didn't have the energy to try to find new ones, so my dash has been pretty empty of it and I mostly just kept up with the anime/manga and not much else. Your enthusiasm for it, and all the art you've been posting and reblogging, has been a highlight of my days. I have a One Piece fanfic I've been trying to finish for years, and I've felt more like writing it in the past week or so than I have in a very long time (haven't actually managed it yet, but maybe soon, I hope). I'm glad you're having fun, and I can't wait to see you get farther in the series. <3

And *I* just wanna say how touching this message is!! 🥺 Thank you for sending this, I’ve been putting off responding because I was hoarding it like a dragon HAHA

I’m glad you’re enjoying the sudden OP onslaught! Part of me always worries, but it IS my blog and I enjoy slapping a bunch of funny pirates on my metaphorical fridge, glad you’re getting a kick out of it too! Perks of a media about as old as me too is that there’s sooooo much content to dig through, it’s very fun! Even if I suck at avoiding spoilers LOL (I will at least try to shield my buddy from spoilers as she also works her way through the manga at her own pace XD)

I hear ya on struggling to finish a fic for so long…for me, with new fandom comes new ideas and we’ll see if I can actually finish these, lmao. I’m glad to hear you’re inspired again! What’s the fic about, out of curiosity? 👀 If you feel like sharing that is!

Thank you, it’s been a VERY fun read, and I hope to watch some parts in the anime later! For now tho manga is easiest for me to consume, and the art is just really nice?? 1000+ chapters used to be so intimidating but now I find it’s hard to put the thing down X’’’’D One Piece good, found family got me good! I’ll be a bit more detailed under the cut real fast (I’ve been yelling at another friend on discord with regular manga updates but I will say this)

Isa don’t open the read more :> :

I just finished Thriller Bark arc and ooooooh boy that was a Time. Zoro you are insane *sobbing* HOW IS HE EVEN ALIVE

Usopp getting to use his anxiety/depression/negative thoughts as a strength against Perona was. SO funny yet SO vindicating, I love himmmmm-

Also the stuff with Brook is one of the things I feel I need to watch the anime on because!!! Music!!! That’s difficult to translate through manga, as pretty as the art is. Same for Chopper’s send off from Drum Island, I wanna see the pretty pink Sakura Blossoms!!!! But yea Brook made me cry. I remember really hoping Laboon would pop up again and BOY HOWDY let the skeleton see his baby whale again I beg….

I just hit the Sabody arc too and spotted Law for the first time! I already know his backstory (oops I’m nosey) and WOW HE’S A LITTLE SH*T HAHAHA funny greasy lookin man good to see ya X’’’D I also love Camie!! Kinda refreshing to see a female character getting to finally make the same (if not even MORE) whacky faces like the boys do hhdfhgjkdf you’re doing great sweetieeeee 😂 (also good to see Hachi again!!)

Also the intro to Celestial Dragons and slave trade is so. Man. This is VILE. The extent of horrors the Government will look away from because they’re Celestial Dragons doing the horrors. AUGH. Gross. The situation is revealed in a really neat way too, very engaging. Sooooo satisfying watching Luffy full on punch one CD in the face tho, BLESS. Love that funky lil dude. He really doesn’t care who you are, he can and WILL punch you if friends are threatened.

ALSO I do see Ace’s execution being set up in the bg. I know in a general sense what….happens to him. I don’t like it, let him out 😭

BUT YEA I’M HAVING ALOT OF FUN THANK YOU!!!!

#breezy babbles #breezy replies #anonymous #op #one piece #breezy reads one piece #wheeeeeee #this manga has made me laugh cry and also question Oda’s sanity on many occasions #seriously some bits are so bizarre I’m like this might as well happen sure #then others such a gut punch or heart warming or- #it’s got the range #they’re all so found family and stupid and good #love these funky pirates #thank you OPLA for grabbing my interest so strongly lmao #more reblogs to come for sure hhsdhjkgds #glad to provide it for your dash hahaha #good luck writing if you end up doing so!!!! writing is hard #I got a lot of ideas rattling around myself….but hrgh. school #-yells #HAVE A LOVELY DAY THIS MESSAGE MADE ME VERY HAPPY YOU ARE VERY SWEET

[artgirllullaby]

Under the Stars

So.... I made a ScaraxMona (WanderMona) fanfic a while ago and left it sitting on my stuff cause I wasn't confident or sure if I should post... But two days ago I got high on caffeine and in abstinence of my anxiety medicine which gave a sudden burst of courage and completely off my rails... then later had a depression crisis that E and the squad had to deal with (sorry guys)

So, in the middle of that, I forgot to post here too... So here we are.

Hope you guys like!

ScaraxMona Playlist: Spotify/Youtube

____________________________________

Original Notes: So, this was a impulsive writing I had after watching some Scaramona montage on YouTube (thx Feniko) and then went into Scaramona hell. This was written before Sumeru Arc and was sitting on my stuff cause my anxiety is really bad lately and having no therapy isn't helping, but on a crisis today I fixed some stuff on it when i had no internet and decided to post on impulse (again) and I'll probably regret later cause I have no idea where this is going aside the fact I have a playlist, took coffee and am on VERY HIGH ANXIETY AND CAFEINE DRIVE SO LETS GO YAHOOO

THIS CONTAIN SPOILERS FROM SUMERU ARCHON QUEST

---------------------------------------------

Under the Stars

(You collected Part I of "Ocean of Stars and Wondering Clouds")

When Mona met the Wanderer, she didn’t know why she was so aware and suspicious of him, but her sixth sense didn’t let her guard down for any minute. In fact, everytime he showed up she would be more aware of him. The traveler had told he was someone they had met before, but many things happened and it was complicated to explain why she didn’t remember, but he went through a lot and had changed. 

They had met when the Traveler got her into the Akademia through their connections (which later she found out that was no one other than Sumeru’s archon herself), but not as a student, just a researcher who had access to their library and facilities as much she wanted as long it had to do with her subject of study. 

She had seen through the constellations that Traveler would save the nation or do something along those lines, but then again she avoided looking too much or taking it as raw truth, the memory of the former adventurer she met still haunted her once in a while. Normally, she would pick on their constellation just to see how they were, if they were doing well or alive in their long months apart in adventures and then continue her day. If she happened to look and they weren’t doing well, she would send a letter. She would look into the stars later and learn they were getting better and wasn't exactly because of her letters, but there was a weird relief to send them. 

So when she received a letter back telling her to go to Sumeru and she got free access to the whole library, to say Mona choked on her tea, would be completely right. She was on her way to Sumeru the very next day.

~~~~~~Continue Reading on AO3/FF-net

(trust me, it's too long for Tumblr)

#scaramouche #scaramona #mona megistus #wanderer #genshin impact #genshin impact fanfic #genshin fic #fanfic #lully writes #scaranation #wandermona #scaramouche is bad at feelings #no beta we die like mortals #sumeru

[ejzah]

Hey. I was wondering if you could write a fanfic set in the present in which kensi and deeks are talking about Kensi's accident and her recovery process (back in season 8) and kensi finally has the courage to admit that back then she struggled with mental health and was depressed but hid it because she didn't wanted to look weak or worry deeks. Thank you <3

Some Scars Heal Slowly

Deeks woke up Sunday morning to the sun streaming through the windows and an empty bed. He walked downstairs, finding an empty mug by the fresh pot of coffee. As he poured himself a cup, he noticed Kensi sitting on back patio.

Frowning, Deeks slid through the back door, the concrete cool on his bare feet despite the bright sun. He stopped a few feet from Kensi, taking in the blanket wrapped around her shoulders, her knees raised towards her chest.

“Hey, was my snorting really that bad?” he joked, lowering himself next to her. She didn’t react to his presence at first, just curling her fingers around the coffee mug in her hands a little more.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up,” she murmured, eyes lowered towards the remnants of last year’s garden. Somehow, he didn’t think she was really looking at it.

“No, you didn’t. What has you up at 7 in the morning?”

Kensi exhaled noisily. “Oh, I was just thinking about some things.” She shrugged the blanket a little higher. “Six years ago, I was still learning to shoot and running agility tests after my accident.”

Deeks stilled, waiting for her to elaborate. The helicopter crash, her coma, and then subsequent recovery, were all topics Kensi tended to avoid.

“That was such a hard year. At first, I thought I’d never recover completely, that I’d always be a little broken and at the very least, never return to fieldwork.” The pain was evident in her voice, even after all this time, and Deeks’ heart ached for her.

“But you proved yourself and everyone else so wrong. I was amazed by your strength and determination,” he told her.

“It didn’t feel like that at the time,” she said in a soft voice. “Especially in the first couple months, it felt like I barely made any progress. I hated having to let other people do everything for me.”

“Oh believe me, I know.” He nudged her shoulder, and she offered the barest smile to his gentle teasing.

“I know I kept insisting I was fine, but I got in a pretty dark place for a while.” She paused, glancing up for the first time. “I didn’t want anyone to see me like that, especially you. And,” her shoulders heaved with yet another sigh, “I convinced myself that I wasn’t worthy of you.”

“Oh, Kens,” he murmured, breaking the unspoken barrier between them and enfolding her in his arms. “You have to know that would never be true.”

“I knew that’s what you said, but i couldn’t understand why,” Kensi explained. “I didn’t want you to see me at my worst, or get sick of me being so useless,” Deeks made a sharp sound of disapproval, but she squeezed his hand to stop him from interrupting. “I know that I was wrong now. Then the depression and trauma messed with my head. It’s why I pushed you away, and insisted on running alone or training with someone else from the team.”

“That was hard,” Deeks admitted. “I knew you were struggling, but, um, I also thought you were sick of me.

“No, never Deeks. I might joke about it sometimes, but that was never it.” Uncurling a hand from her coffee, she caressed his cheek with her thumb, eyebrows furrowed. “I’m sorry I ever made you feel like that.”

“Forgiven long ago.” He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead, then offered a hand as he stood. “C’mon, let’s go inside; it’s chilly out here.”

Kensi let him pull her up, but pulled him to a stop before they reached the back door. She cupped the back of his neck, kissing him on the mouth.

“Here’s to another year of healing.”

***

A/N: I hope this is alright. Thanks for the prompt!

#ncis la fanfiction #densi #kensi blye #marty deeks #reference to season 8 #they’re both a little bit broken #but they love each other enough to hold the other together #anonymous prompt #ejzah fanfiction

[mdhwrites]

10 Years In And My Biggest Mistake As a Writer

I let my writing fear the void all of me is terrified of.

This isn't going to be a fun one about cancelled works or bad ideas. This is your reminder that I've been a writer for ten years. I've been in therapy for 8 3/4s and depressed for roughly half a year before that. But if I look upon the failures of me as a writer, especially with how I am now, it's kind of impossible to ignore.

I fear silence in all things. I compulsively check everywhere I post when I post because my brain is terrified of having done something wrong. For this to be when I lose everything because of a mistake. It perceives everything I do as a mistake waiting to collapse in on itself. I have Avoidant Personality Disorder and that's just kind of a part of that. I am a MUCH more scared person than I probably come across as in these blogs.

With my writing though... The only fanfics I've written since getting on Ao3, with the exception of one I want to convert still, I haven't posted are because I have to brace myself when I post my works and for these works, I just never found the strength despite liking them. It was so bad at one point that I would be in essentially meltdown mode for an entire day after posting something because of the standards my brain had for what should be a success. What even could be a success. What meant that the work had not been thrown into the void.

What meant the time had not been a waste and only done more damage. And yes, this has affected my content. I've talked in my Discord about how it's MUCH harder for me to even consider writing erotica because that's not the audience I have. I know if I made a big erotic work again and was really open about it, pushed it like my other books, I would lose a not insignificant amount of people with 'NSFW DNI' in their bios. The silence I'd get is almost as terrifying as the backlash I'd potentially get, even if I have ALWAYS had this twin nature to my writing.

So how do I ever fight that? Well... Essentially with manic energy. I have described most of my books as having been written in sprints. These periods where an idea is so strong in my head that it fills the void. I don't hear it because ALL of my being needs to be working on the project. I have trouble doing literally anything else and just work and work until the story is done. Of course, any crack during these time periods becomes MUCH worse as it's holding back the void, not eliminating it. My worst nights always come when I'm manic.

And in terms of my analytical blogs, well... There's a reason I do TOH mostly. I can get emotional enough talking about TOH that even if it doesn't always come across in the blog, that annoyance and anger manages to block out the void as well. To help me remember that I know what I'm talking about and can do something with that fact, just like I know I'm a good writer who people enjoy when my inspiration for a story takes hold. But have you ever wondered why I don't do more blogs for Star Rail? I just feel so much more uncertain, for a lot of reasons, when it comes to my opinions with that game and don't usually have the fervor to help coalesce those into something more concrete or strong enough to get on the page without panicking and shelving it.

And I want to make something clear about all of this: It is good to understand your audience. It's good to be open and inviting to criticism so as to make yourself better at what you do. You shouldn't let that make you afraid to do what you want to do. You should meet your creative passions with the enthusiasm of a fanfic writer just wanting to explore the thing they love, regardless of reaction or attention or reward. You should be happy to be cringe in your creation as that will set you free.

I just wish I knew how to make it so my mind could accept that wisdom instead of saying, "Okay but not for you."

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I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#Writing #Depression

[stormblessed95]

I'm the taekooker who adores Jimin, and as you said, the problem is that we don't call out people in our ship who are toxic and say shit about Jimin and often make untrue, false, sometimes downright abhorrent comments about Jimin and Jungkook's relation and/or Jimin and V's friendship.

Now for me personally, I don't follow or interact with these people, simply because they are not nice people. And if I see these comments on Twitter or even here, I block and ignore them. Because, from previous experience, what I find is they drive me crazy if I try to interact rationally with them. Because fundamentally, shipping is not about downgrading someone, or anyone else. So for my sanity, I try to avoid these accounts and conversations. But, this being said, I have also found accounts that are like me, (given most of them ship yoonmin, which is fine to me). However, they don't degrade Jimin or his personality, or his relations with any of the OT7 members. (Also side note: NOT all yoonmin shippers are taekookers. Yoonmin so far from what I've seen is possibly the calmest and most peaceful ship in BTS made up of mostly nice people.)

I get that you can't trust shippers especially tkk ( or as I read from some of the previous posts some of them even jkkers) because of their history of distorting stuff and saying nasty things about Jimin /or Tae respectively. But I feel what want to say is that we are here who love Jimin and we ship Taehyung and Jungkook. And shipping is also not equal to fetishizing. It's not. Shipping by definition is about enjoying the chemistry, and camaraderie and potentially hoping for a romantic relationship between fictional and non-fictional people. It is (at least for me) a very benign, enjoyable activity that I do in my free-time that helps me destress. And accounts that I follow are usually writers (who are actually English teachers LMAO) who write exceptional stories entirely for free that bring me immense joy. So shoutout to all the amazing fanfic writers, you guys saved me from depression!!!

Also, I agree BTS ships, especially tkk (and jkk, I guess ), have over time become more and more aggressive, full of toxicity, and have pushed us out who want a calmer, less venomous environment. Saying something rational, or pointing out hypocrisy is now labeled as me not being a true shipper. Like I gotta do prove something to them!! So childish really! However, (and I'm treading into dangerous territory here) I feel this also has something to do with coveting Jungkook. Like, Jungkook seems to be the sole pinnacle of want and focus for both tkkers and jkkers and not actually Tae or Jimin, and I don't know if this is a projection or something, but this is simply the vibe that I get.

So yes trusting shippers especially tkkers is a coin toss, and more often than not, you're probably gonna get burned either way. But just letting your blog followers know there ARE nice tkk shippers out there who maintain healthy boundaries, who love Jimin unequivocally, and even follow primarily a jikook focused vlog!

Have a nice one Stormi🌟

You do you anon. And if you are actually disengaging from most of the tkkr shipping fandom or otherwise calling out the toxicity. I applaud you for it. Though that should be the bare minimum. 😅 and if you are following me, then I am more likely to believe you that you love Jimin. Because Jimin love and the members loving on Jimin is all over this blog 🤣 as long as you aren't just following me to send in dramatized asks, which I'm sure some people here are too. 😅 I've had my fair share of toxic engagement and need to report yoonminners as well. So like I've said before, every ship has its bad apples. I've stumbled across some really toxic and weird namjin shippers. Lol but I'm willing to engage kindly with anyone who can do the same to me. I match energy here more often than not. And I've got posts up plently on my masterlist over my thoughts over shipping if yall wanted those.

Hope you have a good day too. Genuinely. 💜 I'm not talking about tkkrs anymore after this yall. I'm moving on. I've got one more ask that sort of relates to tkkrs but not. It's more of a "help me piece together this timeline that tkkrs and other shippers were talking about" ask. I'll get to that one soon, but otherwise, I'm moving onto topics that are more fun. 🥰

[clever-fox-studios]

Saw @garbagechocolate post one and realized I had enough art to actually do one of my own! (also artist ramble/struggle journey/discussion/new years thingy below the cut if you care to read that sort of stuff)

It was a good year, and not just that but a productive one for me for art. For the longest time, I rarely finished pieces because I simply lacked the enjoyment or satisfaction of getting it done.

I spent a lot of time between 2018 and 2022 stuck in the "no one likes my art, why bother" spiral and when I saw others drawing always, all the time, and loving it I realized I lacked a certain passion for my own work. I was very jealous of so many artists, not because of skill, as I knew I had the technical ability to draw very well...

But because I didn't know how to draw for myself, and stayed in what I knew. I stagnated myself due to depression I didn't recognize was actually depression. I wondered and marveled at how anyone could draw their own content so obsessively--that others cared and loved to see their stuff--because I lacked that feeling myself; I actively hated my own content--my own OCs--at times. I couldn't draw to be "trendy", but also couldn't draw what I wanted; my soul was dark, and struggling financially wasn't helping. I told myself I lacked time, lacked money, lacked this and that to make excuses rather than just be gentle with myself.

Once in a while I got a flurry of energy, but it always snuffed out just as quickly as it came, and so the next dry spell came.

Then, I got a job. A good job. A well-paying, consistent job that I felt safe in, got back on my feet, and lost two of my excuses. Suddenly, I had a schedule, and I had my bills paid; I had a job that I couldn't easily lose to the next monkey in line if I underperformed.

I felt just a little bit safer.

Yet I still didn't have that passion. Instead of stress on it, though, since I wasn't dragging at the unfeeling internet to buy my art to pay my bills anymore, I felt less pressure to try and grind (I was bad at it anyway) and so I was finally, finally able to relax. Recover.

Heal.

And then, Security Breach came out.

I've always been a FNAF fan--OG first game train, let's gooooooo--yet I didn't do anything in the fandom; but Security Breach was... different. Generally I avoid actively engaging with fandoms because I simply don't have the time or patience, but now, I did.

I wanted to enjoy it--enjoy the weird spin off content it created, at least a bit. I started an AU of my own. However, I still wasn't quite... 'there'. The true passion was only flickering embers in a dirty, worn out hearth.

So, early 2023, I indulged myself. I told myself "cringe is dead and I deserve to be happy". I collected Tiktoks, made OCs again, and just let myself have fun. I cleaned out the fireplace like Sophie in the Moving Castle.

I joined a fan server of a SB spin off series I enjoyed at the time. Some of you might know which one by the art, recognizing the pieces or my name.

I immersed myself in a fandom for a short time. I let myself be weird, happy, indulgent...

And suddenly, I was free.

I spoke to fellow artists inside and outside the server, helped younger artists with their fundamentals, drew fanart not for money but for love of the content, made fanfics and stories, revisited my AU I'd been chipping away at off and on... I remembered how I loved drawing to draw, to spread joy and support, not for money. I remembered how to create, not just make. Gained confidence in my choices and ability to write and layer characters.

Learned to love them with their flaws instead of hate them for just existing because they weren't "good enough".

I started to enjoy my own things again, and how to embrace being self-indulgent. To draw what I wanted because I want it, not because it was needed or expected. To take risks, be experimental again--to lean into my strengths of what my art is rather than force it to what I think it should be.

I also came to terms with the fact that, despite what my mind was trying to tell me, I was not a bad person at heart. I was cringy and cared a lot, sure, but drawing for myself wasn't selfish, wanting to be self-indulgent wasn't toxic--that I, fundamentally, was an imperfect person but that didn't mean I was bad or evil. Wanting validation for my effort wasn't wrong, but how I went about it before was detrimental to me.

"Pride is not the opposite of shame, but it's source."

I took uncle Iroh's words to heart for the first time and worked to curbed my own ego, which had been the source of my artistic ennui (thanks Inside Out 2, for giving me that word) the entire time. By stepping toward the the edge where my pride had been holding me back, I realized I was not on the top of some great cliff where everyone could look up at me, but rather on a plateau no more impressive than a welcome mat on a porch. I had to accept I had quit climbing and settled in order to find the reason to climb again; once I stopped feeling like it was a race or competition to vie for attention from others, I could pace myself, avoid the exhaustion that had landed me on that plateau to begin with, and accept that I will reach the top when I'm ready, not when I think I should.

Now, at the end of 2023, I am basking in the satisfaction of having enjoyed myself, my art, in a way that healed me. Stopped me from despising my "talent".

I got to enjoy a few hours of going micro-viral on tiktok for Christmas, because I made something I actually wanted to make--something I cared about enough to share. It was unexpected, unplanned, but getting to see those numbers shoot up for something so small was like a stamp from the universe that proved what my best friend has been telling me all these years that my ego refused to latch onto.

"People can tell when you care about what you make, and when it's soulless trend fuel."

So, in conclusion, thank you.

Thank you, @quilandscroll for putting up with me and my dumbass artist ego all these years.

Thank you, Security Breach, for being the spark that reignited my rebirth as an artist, and to all the funny little blorbos I've met and talked to because of that fandom.

And thank you Sun and Moon, the silly, lanky bois that took that spark and turned it into a beacon with which I could navigate my own darkness with; for creating a safe space where I could be 13 again and just embrace my weirdness without fear of punishment.

2024 will hopefully be a big year as well. My goals are to learn to animate on Clip Studio and be comfortable with the system, to get the assets and refs prepped, and to release the first part of Legacy.

I want to share this project.

I want to bring inspiration and joy to the fandom that saved me from myself.

Oh, and if any of this sounded familiar or relatable to you...

I see you, and I love you.

See you all in 2024.

#security breach #year in review #artist journey #self discussion #got deep in my feels today #new years #holidays #struggle bus #looking back #hindsight is 20/20 #relatable #artists on tumblr #cringe is dead

[lexxypillz]

The Day Blue Got His College Roommate - a Dick Figures fanfic

Blue arrived in his college dorm room. He felt a breath of fresh air as he walked in. He decided to move to a new college after living with his mother for the past eighteen years. This was the moment he deserved and his chance to make friends. He couldn’t resist the troubles he went through in his teen years.

He opened his traveling case and removed his clothes, toiletries, and game consoles. As a young child, Blue’s mother insisted him to dress formally because according to her, casual clothing was associated with the devil. Since he didn’t live with his mother anymore, he planned on wearing skinny jeans and blue Converse sneakers instead.

Blue arranged his bedsheets on the mattress and hung his calendar of the U.S.S. Enterprise above the frame. He placed his Funko Pop of Worf on the desk and placed his notebooks and pencils into its drawers. He tried to avoid thinking of his mother as he organized his area. At this moment, his roommate knocked on the door.

“What’s taking you so long?” said the voice from outside. “I want to have sex with you.”

A long, unkempt mop of fiery red hair burst through the dorm. An emo bang stood out from a red backwards cap. He wore a black sleeveless tee and torn jeans. This appeared to be an immediate sign of danger for Blue.

His roommate had brought a red sleeping bag and a worn-out backpack with him. He tossed the bag onto the mattress and didn’t care if he made a mess or not. He just wanted to prepare for school as soon as possible.

“You seem familiar,” said Blue. “When was the last time I saw you?”

“When we were 13, I guess,” said the redhead. “I remember when you had tiny boobs.”

Blue took out a photo from his case and saw an image of his mother and three children. He frowned at the picture and recalled his memories of being a small girl.

“Why are you still calling me a girl?” said Blue. “I’m a boy for Christ’s sake. Do you think I’m a girl because of my hair?”

Red noticed his roommate’s long blue curls. To him, that must be a girl.

“You definitely look and sound like one,” said Red.  “This year, I’ll have sex with ten thousand ladies. And a few guys as well.”

Blue stared at his roommate. “College isn’t about getting ladies. It’s more important for you to get a bachelor’s degree and a full-time job.”

“I already have a job. Fucking tons of bitches.”

“Sex doesn’t sound like a good job. You obviously didn’t go to high school, did you?”

“Of course I don’t,” said Red. “I love getting laid.”

“Listen, Red. I’m struggling with depression right now. My father is dead, and my mother doesn’t give a shit. If only I needed help for this.”

“Why don’t you try some beer and see what happens?” asked Red.

Beer? The idea of drinking haunted Blue. He never tasted it before, and only heard of it through commercials on his uncle’s TV.

“I’m definitely not drinking beer today,” said Blue. “I was raised in a Catholic family and went to a private school. My mom thinks I’ll die if I touch it.”

“Come on, Blue. You won’t die if you touch beer. If a giant robot attacks our building, drink beer. If King Kong climbs the largest skyscraper—”

“Please don’t get me into this. I’d rather study and play video games.”

“Just shut your mouth and drink beer. It’s good for you”

Blue was still having doubts about this mysterious drink. If his mom saw him drinking beer, she would punish him. He felt she would take away his belongings and pressure him to roll around in the mud with pigs. At least he had an annoying roommate to deal with.

He couldn’t believe what he saw when he peeked into one of the pockets of Red’s backpack. It was full of softcore porn magazines and 1980’s cassette tapes. A pack of cigarettes lay in the pencil pouch. Red was obviously too young to own any of these. How could his life be so messy and careless?

He opened another pocket. An entire supply of beer cans awaited him. Blue hesitated; he didn’t want to piss off his deeply religious mother. As he browsed through the cans, he wondered why on Earth a young man his age would own a full stash.

“How much beer do you have?” asked Blue.

“Over ten thousand,” said Red. “That shows how awesome I am.”

“I only see twelve. You’re clearly stretching yourself.”

Blue took out a can from his roommate’s backpack. He could sense the fear he faced as a child when his mother warned him not to drink it. He was afraid of how his mother pressured him to join a religious school where he wasn’t allowed to display his true gender. He was afraid of the trauma he experienced when his mother insulted him for trying to act like a boy.

He glanced at the expiration date which read June 12. Today was September 9.

“That beer’s expired!” said Blue. “You clearly can’t read. You can’t even store it properly!”

“I don’t own a refrigerator! That’s why I keep my beer warm!”

“Then how do you get all that money to buy these porn magazines? You purchased a fake ID, didn’t you?”

“I’ve been doing this since I was sixteen!” exclaimed Red.

“Sixteen?” Blue felt worried. “That’s way below the legal drinking age. How did you get into this?”

“One time, I was captured by an evil scientist who told me to try something and I got crazy feelings from it. I got so used to it that I—”

“I’ve had enough of your bullshit,” said Blue. “Do you have anything else to make me feel better?”

“You could watch porn.”

Blue sighed. “I’m not attracted to boobs. I made one friend who was a girl, but was never attracted to her. I only cared about her personality. Unless—”

He looked into his case which was still halfway full. He looked through his batch of crappy horror films from the 1960’s and 70’s. These were the only ones his mother allowed him to watch as a teenager.

He picked out a movie and held it in his hand. “Let’s watch a cheesy movie instead. It’s more appropriate for the college. Trust me, we don’t want anyone catching us.”

“Wait, our school doesn’t allow porn?” said Red. “I wanted to see boobs.”

“You’ll get boobs when you attend your classes. Now why don’t we go watch a damn movie?”

“Fine. I won’t annoy you this time.”

Blue finished emptying his case and left the dorm. He brought the movie with him.

“You seemed smarter when I first met you.”

#dick figures #red #blue #fanfic