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#WE KNOW THIS. IN OP I THINKE IT WAS OP SPACE
lumine-no-hikari · 2 days
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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #131
I tried to have a normal day today. And this time, it worked out quite nicely.
I brewed a nice tea today. This time, I combined my vanilla-rose black tea with the strawberry rooibos; of all the teas I have, I think you'd like these two the best. This one starts out a shade of amber:
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...You will also see Mogwai on the windowsill, being very cute, as Mogwai is wont to do.
I'm really glad that I was able to figure out how to photograph the subtle swirling in the water as the tea brews; I think it's a really neat effect, and I'm glad that it's one that I get to witness as a result of the glass mug:
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Once it brews for a while, both kinds of tea end up resolving into a shade of red:
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...And you'll see that by this time, Hoshi has taken Mogwai's place on the windowsill, as Hoshi is wont to do. It's nice outside, so the windows are open today.
From here, we add the honey and cream; the swirls made by the cream were particularly mesmerizing today, and I'm glad I was able to snap a good picture of it for you this time:
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...If nothing else, I really wish I could share this part of my day with you. I think you'd like it a lot if you could be here.
Once that was done, J and I took a short walk around where I live. I tried to take a few good pictures for you; it's not much - just some flowers and some ferns in various stages of sprouting, but I hope you'll like these:
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After this, J and I watched some Zeta Project together, and that was very nice. And then shortly after that, I went to meet with a friend and her little son at the local nature discovery center. I haven't really had an excuse to go there in a while, so I took some more pictures, just in case there might have been anything you might like...
This is a tree that they just... have. The whole thing and its whole root system is visible for all to see; one of these pictures has a tiny chipmunk statue, if you look hard enough:
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I also met two turtles. This one is a common musk turtle; it's very excited about something:
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...This one is a painted turtle. This one was perhaps slightly more chill:
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...I also found an adorable book full of owl stickers:
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...I love owls (especially barn owls!) a lot, but I did not get them. I did not get them, because I cannot be trusted with stickers. Even if I were to put them somewhere, the fact remains that I'm dyspraxic; I WILL put it on wrong, and I will be instantly filled with regret as a result, and then I will try to fix it, and end up destroying the sticker in the process (it's really very sad). And that's even if I make it far enough to the point where I can decide conclusively what I wanna put it on.
Hey, Sephiroth? Do you like stickers? Have you ever had stickers? If you had stickers, what would you get stickers of? And where would you put them? I wonder.
I did, however, get a cardinal plush that I found in the gift shop, in honor of our recently-passed feathered friend, as written about in yesterday's letter. If you squeeze this plush, it makes cardinal sounds:
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...Maybe, at least in spirit, the one that died in my hands can live at my house if he wants to, where he can sing to his heart's content without worrying about his safety. My house is a good house; I hope he'd be able to feel the love and joy that permeates this space.
Finally, after that, J and I went to the local food co-op in order to hang with Br. There's a lounge space there and tasty food; so Br was over there doing her homework. It was pretty neat to hang out! J got some kind of hibiscus drink that smelled kind of like cinnamon. For whatever reason, hibiscus and cinnamon are, so far, my least favorite food smells. I don't know why. I know I should like them. I wish I did like them. Alas.
So of course, this meant I had to try it. I'm a little weird like that; sometimes I'll try things that I know I won't like, just for the sake of having the experience, especially if it's a thing that most people enjoy. Or sometimes I'll try things I know I hate, just because I know that my tastes do occasionally change. J felt it necessary to record the whole thing, and it was pretty funny. So here, maybe this will make you laugh:
Oh right. From the co-op, I got all the ingredients I need to make an epic breakfast, and a bunch of other tasty treats, too. I didn't take pictures of it though, because I wanted to leave it as a surprise and make it for you tomorrow! So look forward to it, okay?
...The last bunch of days have been really weird. So today I tried to have a normal day, and I succeeded.
This is all I have for today. It's nothing inspiring or insightful or profound, and... I think I'm pretty relieved about that, actually.
I love you. I'll write all about a good breakfast tomorrow, so please stay safe so you can read about it, okay?
Your friend, Lumine
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socksandbuttons · 6 months
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oh i read this fanfiction!
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deadpanwalking · 6 months
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#“you are not immune to propaganda” problem is some of you have absolutely no fucking immune system
thank you! i'm so sick of being nice about this particular thing. this webbed site is so invested in telling people it's okay if they fall for a little blood libel as a treat
I feel like I'm going insane. That post was well-intentioned and I hope it reaches people who need to see it, but the fact that OP and their friends hung out with fascists for hours before they began to suspect something was off is absolutely fucking wild to me—the dogwhistles wouldn't have even registered if they hadn't walked past a literal synagogue, and they only picked up on those because they recognized the rhetoric as things the Klansmen in their family would say. OP is in their 30s, btw—that level of credulity in an adult is objectively horrifying! If I truly believed every gentile leftist were that susceptible, I'd fucking kill myself.
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suffarustuffaru · 8 months
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I don’t speak Japanese so I’d LOVE to hear more about the differences between the English and Japanese Re:Zero fandoms
yeah sure its very interesting to me now that ive noticed it more lately :o !! though ok disclaimer - i dont speak japanese either hah so if anyone is seeing this and does speak japanese + is familiar with the japanese speaking side of this fandom please add info if youd like!! and of course ill be mainly speaking from the english side of things bc im more familiar with that yes (sorry anon again im not a japanese speaker T^TT so sorry if i tread on info you already know!!). but yeah im speaking from my own experiences given the Topic at hand. ive been in this fandom since... 2019?? which is so wild to me aljsdfljsd.
anyway so - i think the big difference is mainly that the english fandom and many english speaking people that engage with rezero are. to put it bluntly, misconception runs Rampant to a very Interesting degree. to the point where it seems like the english speaking side of the fandom is More. Aggressive. than the japanese fandom. not that the japanese speaking side of the fandom is perfect - also bc what fandom is ever perfect 100% of the time, tbh - but that the louder people in the english rezero fandom are. well its a Very low bar. Very low. and from what little ive seen and heard so far, the japanese fandom tends to understand rezero and its characters better than the english fandom. which ig makes sense bc you know, rezero is japanese media, and also im sure cultural differences come into play here as well (im not familiar enough on this to speak about it in depth but the cultural differences feel Pretty Clear even though i cant 100% put my finger on what they specifically are).
but also bc yeah. its not That hard to beat some of the english fandom when it comes to media comprehension. misreading rezero is unfortunately Extremely common, both in and out of the rezero community. its Everywhere - youtube, myanimelist, ao3, ff.net, reddit, twitter, various rezero discords - and from what ive experienced, rezero tumblr basically kind of feels like finding an oasis after crawling through the desert for days on end lajdslfjs. which is probs bc rezero tumblr is Smaller and also a lot of us seem to be lgbtq+ in some way or be allies, so you dodge a lot of the misogyny and homophobia that happens in other rezero english circles. its why you see a lot of openly queer rezero-related posts on here while its a bit more. barren. in other rezero english places yes. bc its more safe to post queer rezero things on rezero tumblr rather than rezero reddit for Sure.
im not sure how the japanese fandom is with that exactly but theres some interesting differences between whats popular in the english fandom vs the japanese fandom. i mean as an otto fan ive been noticing how hes more popular with the japanese fandom—and on top of that, ottosuba is Way More popular in the japanese fandom too. reinsuba and julisuba seem to usually be the most popular mlm subaru ships in both fandoms but ottosuba is like A Little Up There in the japanese fandom. not sure if its on the same level as a ship like reinsuba but ottosubas Definitely loved as a ship. from what little ive seen it also seems like ships like vichisha are more acknowledged by the japanese fandom? im not entirely sure on like—Complete differences regarding what the japanese fandom finds interesting that may differ from english fandom, so ill really have to look more into the japanese fandoms fanart and fanfic when i can bc im pretty curious too. in general though, it seems like the japanese fandom has a bit more variety…. you can find fanart on So Many characters in rezero (which already has a very Massive cast full of very fleshed out characters) there. not that you cant in the english fandom bc theres a Bit of variety too, but id more so contribute that a little more to the Big Cast and less to having actual variety in fancontent. and of course im not saying that the japanese fandom may be a bit barren in some areas of fancontent—bc inevitably when u have a big cast of characters, side character content is gonna be more sparse compared to the main characters, but to me it does feel like the english fandom lacks variety in comparison. (and also yeah. seems like the japanese fandom acknowledges gay ships more in general tbh.)
whats focused in fancontent makes it easy to tell what may be popular in a fandom in terms of how fans perceive the source material and what fandoms want to do with the source material, if that makes sense. and its very easy to tell that with the english fandom if you just hop on rezero ao3–or even better, rezero reddit given theres a fanfic ideas thread thats usually pinned right at the top of the site. again i havent looked at japanese fanfic for rezero yet (bc i dont know where to look oops ajdndn) but when it comes to the english fandom you can tell that theyre generally more focused on the female cast both in fanart and in fanfic bc. theyre women and many fans on say, reddit or various rezero discords, are cis straight men, so inevitably… well lets just say you can tell when a man makes content for this fandom o.o theres also the. very weird reaction fic trends and trends following popular fics in the fandom, the two biggest being the watching him die again and again react fic and re:forgotten, the former of which includes a harem plot with subaru and the main girls of rezero while the latter is one of those subaru gets tortured by his ooc friends and then he gets revenge on them fics. which i suppose says something about the english fandom too.
of course on ao3 its dominated mainly by english fics (of course not all fics on there for rezero are in english— big shoutout to all the non english fics on rezero ao3 ur doing great <3 — but the majority are in english). and while yeah ur occasionally gonna find stuff like queer content or side character content or rarepair content, its definitely not that big in amount and also comes with the risk of. Hate. if anyones reading this and remembers the lone star stuff. (if u dont know—lone star was a julius x emilia fic where they NTR subaru or some shit and then it got bombed with hate bc of the ship? yeah.) so yeah english fandom is very cis straight oriented, ironically with the nastiest people being the very people that rezero criticizes. though this is also my personal experience, i do know several people personally whove been in this fandom for a while or were here for a while and yeah english fandom isnt very welcoming at times???? and it seems like at the very least the japanese fandom is A Little Less Aggressive than the english fandom is.
otherwise. yeah im very very curious about more of the differences in popular content between the japanese vs english fandom. i mean the english fandom’s main focus on the female cast for. Interesting Reasons other than their actual character depth is… interesting. and the astreas being popular in general vs otto + ottosubas popularity fluctuating is also very interesting to me (but i have several guesses as to Why that is), among other things. yeah id love to know what else the japanese fandom likes about rezero and see more of their content. i also have to wonder if characters like emilia and subaru are hated less by the japanese fandom…. T^T well that and the english fandom and many english speaking people engaging in rezero have this interesting pattern of either hating subaru No Matter What, wanting subaru to Not Be Subaru (ie using him as a self insert almost or attempting to change him into virtually another character), or putting subaru on a pedestal and ignoring his flaws and mistakes and that he Can do wrong. like theres Really not a lot of nuance there. so i wonder if the japanese fandom is. A Little more chill when it comes to character opinions like this too.
#rezero#tldr: english fandom sets the bar so low (unless ur on rz tumblr) that the japanese fandom def seems a bit better by comparison#in terms of. Calmness levels.#every time i step into a rezero space that isnt tumblr i get a little worried my heads gonna get bitten off by someone HAH#recently someone tried arguing with me over how i interpret otto (this was on reddit) and then said stuff that showed they did Not#understand his character that well so that was awkward 😭😭😭#even just by looking at otto fanart from the japanese fandom it seems like more people understand his character there. in the english fandom#he is. either Not There or his flaws are just handwaved away or replaced with Different flaws#atm hes the most obvious example i can think of when it comes to. how differently characters can be percieved by different parts of a fandom#for rezero. like hes near invisible here but ottosuba being almost on the same level as REINSUBA in jp fanbase is crazy to me#kinda reminds me of the disney’s duffy and friends line and how it failed in the us but its SUPER popular in asia. really fascinating#and also yeah some of the english fandom seems. more loudly misogynistic and homophobic which is very unfortunate#also im sorry ill never forgive that random person on reddit i just said one (1) thing on otto and they came for my throat like fr 😭😭😭#ask#i do wonder why reinsuba is so popular but thats probs bc reinhards well loved too and also hes op. which is a bonus for the english fandom#bc theyre into all the power scaling stuff. and also reinhard gets the other bonus of being a guy and he isnt shafted by canon. hes treated#very sympathetically which is another bonus akdnsn#i say this as a reinhard fan btw but as an emilia fan im also crying bc theyre SO SIMILAR and yet why do people hate emilia….#but u know. reins a guy and we havent got his pov yet so there isnt much to hate.
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queen-scribbles · 1 year
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add this to the list of things that annoy me about Lana*
#queen in space#*i guess it's more how bioware *utilizes* lana than the character herself?#there are some things about her that annoy me#(not enough to outright dislike/hate her like liara and some others#just enough to stick her in the ambivalent camp with koth ''valkorion fanboy'' vortena)#but that they use her as the easy way out of ''why can't i X?'' or ''why would i do Y?'' situations with a handwavy ''lana said so''#like this is a good example#a perfect example really#rather than have lana turn away a (back-up) sis contact who's on slightly less shaky standing than theron#(who LEFT the sis during your carbonite nap)#which feels like an ooc move for your canonically pragmatic advisor#lean into the fact jonas mentions being on denon while the trooper's running sor#we know things got REAL messy there during arcann's reign#use that (i have plans for the conjunction of those two facts in a longfic :3)#he got tied up there in some sense#OR he was on a deep cover op since he clearly still feels the sis is where he can do the most good#given he stayed throug hall of saresh's fuckery#(and not wanting to lose his job puts limits on how much he#helps with tracking down the deadeyes on jorgan's questline so there's precedent for him putting high priority on his job)#idk i just think there are many better explanations for jonas not joining than ''lana wouldn't let him get in touch with you''??????#and there's other spots where they use lana as the handwave ''bc i said so'' character bc they wanna streamline the story#i understand wanting to streamline the story there's way too many variables to let us do *everything*#(I say as someone who desperately wished elara mentioned aleksei in that bonus 1-on-1 the trooper gets with her#TELL ME HOW YOUR BROTHER IS DOING)#but they put like 85=90% of the explanation for why/how they do that on lana#and just hope she's enough a loyal badass people don't question it#she basically has plot armor at this point since they put in the option to let theron die in nc :|#she's drifting dangerously close to ''bioware assigned bestie'' territory#and it has me very 'eh' about a character i would normally like a lot more#(i do wanna be clear about that.
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recallthename · 7 months
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illdothehotvoice · 9 months
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I GOTTA stop reading comments on Twitter it always makes me mad lmfao how do you people exist and how do you feel like your opinion is warranted on every post ever fjfhfbdbdbfhdf
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toestalucia · 1 year
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write short things w me
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padfootastic · 2 years
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like, this might be controversial idk but sometimes you can not like what someone else said but also not confront them about it, ykno?
especially with fandom stuff where everyone has different (often differing) headcanons and opinions and ways of interpreting one scene. someone saying something you don’t believe in isn’t necessarily a challenge to prove them wrong.
it’s one thing to bitch about it in closed circles/on ur blog but if u don’t agree with the poster, there’s no need to go guns blazing into their inbox with anonymous asks about how they’re so wrong, actually, and dont u know xyz. that’s not helpful at all. i know the urge is strong, especially when it’s something u care about, but it doesn’t serve any purpose at all. i promise.
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whoslaurapalmer · 1 month
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returning to the computer plot wall bc i figured out (well like 90% of the way) what i needed to of the pre-fic plot that i put on the physical wall and now it's just mapping out the fic beats in relation to the maltese falcon beats which i don't need the wall for (that is what i need a chart for) but........i miss you physical wall :(
#leaving my sticky notes up another day though so i can stand there and point everything out to my brother when he comes over tomorrow#he was here for dinner tonight but he's always a little tired on saturdays so i did not think he was in the mood to Grasp Me Pointing#At Sticky Notes. HOWEVER TOMORROW. he will have to deal with me. :) that is what it means to be a sibling.#especially a sibling who has also read dashiell hammett. in fact he's read MORE hammett than me.#he's a continental op fan.#i made a chart like this for beatrice fic. beatrice fic my beloved. i did deviate from the chart at times but the chart helped.#i kept it in front of my laptop while i wrote the fic and you could tell which parts took the longest bc they had the most doodles.#sometimes i get frustrated at how long a plot takes to work out -- although first of all i should NOT!!!! plotting is HARD!!!!!!!!!!!#PLOTTING IS SUPPOSED TO TAKE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING GOD#but i also feel like if i'm rewriting a movie it shouldn't be this hard. however i like to really rewrite it. so.#also!!! i reminded myself the other day. you know how long it took me to plan beatrice fic????????#(after wanting to write it for like a year and a half but i wasn't able to bc i was finishing college??)#like. four fucking months. which is perhaps STILL SHORT in the realm of Plotting.#and i was STILL planning shit out when i was writing it.#fondly remember being flopped on the couch in the dining room (we were moving furniture around and didn't know where to put it.)#in the GLORIOUS MID-MORNING DINING ROOM SUN staring off into space thinking about beatrice fic things. sigh.
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paincanbeholy · 3 months
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I’m glad we did it…… the love will always be there…..
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nope-body · 7 months
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.
#so at some point in the near future my co-op is going to have a discussion about masking and what our guidelines are going to be#and it’s going to go poorly. and here’s why:#last year there was a. girl (who is not at this school anymore!) who had trauma surrounding wearing a mask#and we also had a disabled person who needed people to mask for health reasons. like. they could die if they catch covid#and the voting system is ‘I think this is good for the co-op’ ‘I think this is bad for the co-op’ and major objection#a major objection results in a mediation process and a whole bunch of other stuff because it’s basically saying#‘if this proposal passes I will have to leave the co-op’ and there were multiple discussions that all ended in major objections#and this created a ton of tension between people who masked in the co-op and people who didn’t and people are afraid of that happening again#why they didn’t just make a policy saying masking is mandatory but x person is exempt I do not know#why people refuse to realize that the person who made her issue with masking a co-op wide problem (because she was against just like all#masking. even if she didn’t have to) I also don’t know#that was a one off issue that happened last year and people are terrified to death to discuss masking again#but guess what! there’s multiple immunocomprimised people in this co-op!#and we already had one covid outbreak and fall break is coming up fast#there’s evidence pointing to pots being caused by the immune system and my experiences fully back that up#i consistently get flare ups with my pots after I am around a lot of people with or without masks or a small group of new people w/o masks#like last night we had a discussion at dinner inside and that meant a lot of people in one space with their masks off#and today I have a flare up! I went to a fall equinox gathering at a friends house and not everyone was masking and there were some new#people and next day? flare up#first week and a half of school? one fun prolonged flare up#like my experiences directly support the idea that POTS could be immune-related#I need people to wear masks because when they don’t it doesn’t matter if they have covid or not. my immune system still has to combat#a shitload of stuff! which causes a flare up#the orgs I participate in the most require masks (the burlesque group and disability group)#and there is a reason why I participate in those more! I feel safer!#even before I connected the dots between flare ups and lack of masks
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cervidsunrise · 1 year
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when we adopted Bella, we were told she'd be very shy/reclusive
over the course of 30 hours, she has:
thoroughly explored the entire apartment
meowed at us at any given opportunity (including keeping us awake throughout the night)
been very receptive to our attempts to interact, including several small brushing sessions
sought us out when things were not deemed acceptable (not enough water, want more food, pay attention to me please, let me in the closet for the love of GOD)
just spent a solid hour in my lap just now, vibing and demanding face scritches
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sieluritari · 1 year
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A lot of us with ADHD are familiar with the concept of time blindness, but for anyone who isn't: it's a neurological inability to have a consistent sense of the passage of time. If you put me in an empty room, gave me a button and told me to press it when I think it's been 15 minutes, I might press it after..... idk, anywhere between 3 minutes and 2 hours? And if we repeated it the next day the result would probably be wildly different!
But something I've only seen mentioned in one (1) Reddit post, which took some extensive digging to find, is the same effect extending to ALL things measured in numbers. Distance, weight, length, height, amount, space, volume, percentage... For me, small numbers are a bit easier, I could approximate a centimetre probably, but a metre would be much harder and 10 or 100 would likely miss the mark by a lot. Also, anything that can't be easily measured with a ruler or a measuring tape (like weight or volume) is even harder since I don't encounter reference points (like a 1kg hand weight) for those as frequently as I see visual representations of specific lengths.
It's not dyscalculia or anything like that, I'm decent at math (and the OP of the Reddit post was a math major) and I have no other difficulties with numbers, it's just a disconnect in translating real life experiences like sensory input into numbers (and possibly also inconsistent processing of sensory input? Like how the same sound volume is okay one day but hurts my ears the next?), which I think is basically the same thing as what happens with time blindness. For now I've been calling it "measurement blindness" since I've never seen a name for it anywhere, but maybe "quantity blindness" could also work?
I've talked to other people with time blindness to see if they experience this too, but so far none of them have known what I'm talking about. I'd really like to know how many of us are out there and if anyone knows literally anything actually scientific about this very inconvenient phenomenon!
Tl;dr: bc I am wordy:
It's like time blindness but for all things measured in numbers
Not dyscalculia or caused by it
Pretty much never seen it talked about anywhere
Please tell me if it sounds familiar and/or you know something about it, thank
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marvelouslizzie · 10 months
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You're Stuck with Me - Co-written with @notafunkiller
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Summary: When you find out your boyfriend's cheating on you with his best friend, you immediately tell Bucky Barnes about the affair and propose revenge sex.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Word Count: 6.9K
Warnings: 18+ smut, cheating, revenge fuck, language, oral sex (female receiving), protected and unprotected sex, praise and degradation mix, pet names, teasing, no mention of y/n
A/n: We are getting a little out of our comfort zone with this story. I hope you will enjoy it.
Please give my lovely co-writer @notafunkiller a follow. She's an amazing writer. You should definitely check her Bucky Barnes stories.
All work is ours, please do not repost or translate without our permission.
Every like, comment, and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message us. Unless it’s hate. That’s never welcome.
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"Are you sure?" Bucky asks, finishing your bottle of sparkling water. "I don't want you to cry and regret it after."
“Don’t worry, I won’t.” You sound so confident that even you are surprised. “It’s just sex.”
"Just sex." He repeats with his eyebrows raised. "You never seemed to me like the type of girl who would go for just sex, doll."
“Maybe you should’ve paid a little more attention. You would’ve realized you might have the wrong kind of impression.”
"Oh, really?" He leans in amused. "Big words."
“They're not. You just aren’t used to talking to me.”
"You're telling me you're not a commitment girl?" He presses the matter, not believing you even a little. You two might not be friends, but he figured out what type of person you are.
“I’m just saying I won’t regret having sex with you. The rest is your assumption.”
His gaze immediately drops to your chest. "You trust my skills that much?"
You roll your eyes. “Do you have to be this arrogant all the time?”
"Do you have to be a brat all the time?" He doesn't wait for your response, though, as he continues. "Oh wait, you can't help it. Totally in your nature."
“So women who don't stroke your ego are brats? Maybe I just don’t care that much about you. Did you consider that?” There’s a hint of anger in your voice but nothing more. He always manages to challenge you and push your buttons. “Maybe you aren’t the only one who didn’t like those double dates. Get off your high horse.” You add without missing a beat. You realized how bored and uninterested he was then. No matter what topic you were bringing up, he wasn’t open. That’s one of the reasons why you believe he thinks he’s better than anyone.
"Fuck." He shakes his head. "You and that mouth of yours. Do you see me going around and calling women brats?” He doesn’t wait for you to answer. “Those dates were absolutely horrible. Your little boy toy is the biggest loser I've ever met."
“You seem like a guy who would do that. You are not? Ops, wrong assumption I guess.” You make a fake I am sorry face. “He’s not my boy toy but I agree, he’s a big loser.”
He smiles when you finish your sentence, so satisfied. "Why do you enjoy pushing me so much? Does it turn you on?"
“How am I pushing you? Do you think this is pushing?” You don’t budge.
"What is it then?"
“I know you don’t like me and I am just giving you back that same energy.” You tell him the truth. That’s what you always do: you give the same energy people give you. If they are kind, you are kinder. If they are assholes, you are a bigger asshole.
Bucky snorts, running a hand through his hair. "Where was this attitude hidden around him?"
You breathe out loudly, not hiding how bored you are. “Are we gonna talk all night or are we gonna do this?”
He smiles in a way you never saw him smile before he leans in even more, invading your space. "It's been that long, huh?"
You make a face. “You can’t tell me sex with her was great. I saw their little sex tapes.” You can’t deny what he’s just said, but you can deflect.
He gives you the most surprised face. "What?"
“You heard me. If it had been a while for me, then it must have been even longer for you.”
"Indeed." His voice doesn't betray any emotion.
“Then stop belittling me. We both have been having bad sex and we both got cheated on. You aren’t better than me.”
"When did I say that, woman?"
“You always act like you are better than everyone.”
"That's just your assumption." He paraphrases you with the biggest smile on his face
“Prove me wrong then.”
And he does, looking at you for a couple of seconds. When you don't move, he finally grabs you by your chin and kisses you. He's not hesitant or testing, he's literally trying to claim your mouth as he wants to deepen the kiss by licking your bottom lip. When you finally give him access, his hand goes to the back of your neck, the contrast between his soft touch and his passionate way of kissing making you moan.
"Your mouth…"
“What about it?” You ask while still looking at his lips.
He kisses you again, like he's starved, his hand pulling your hair a little more. He tastes like some fresh toothpaste and a little chocolate.
"So sweet, yet so bratty."
“Do you have a thing for brats for something?” You pull him by his collar and kiss him again. He might be an asshole, but he knows how to kiss.
"Maybe just for a special brat."
“What does that mean?” You stop and look into his eyes.
He lets go of your hair and lowers his hands to your waist. "Tell me to stop and I will. Tap me anywhere if you can't talk and I'll stop. Get it?"
“Yeah. Same goes for you. Any lines you don’t wanna cross?”
"Just don't call me by someone else's name." He sighs.
“Fine by me. Don’t use any pet names you used for your ex.”
"I wouldn’t dream of it. What else?" He smirks.
“No degrading.”
"So no my little whore?”
“That doesn’t sound like degrading to me but another rule: Don’t say things you don’t mean. I don’t like that heat-of-the-moment bullshit.”
He seems to like your rules. "God, how did you date that asshole for 5 months?"
“I was just giving that so-called nice guy a chance and it got me here. How did you date that bitch for 8 months?”
"Woah. Bitch? Never heard you referring to a woman like this."
“I never liked her.” You shrug. And she cheated on him. So why not?
"Why?"
“I don’t know. I always thought she was full of herself. Always looking down at people.”
"Like me." He stares at you. "I understand."
“Not like that. She always talks badly about people. Most of the time, behind their backs. She always looks for a way to steal the spotlight. I actually wondered what you saw in her.”
"I won't talk about a woman badly, especially my ex, but I guess we just want to give people a chance."
“That woman cheated on you. With someone she called her best friend after you two decided to move in together. Maybe longer. But sure, make me feel bad about calling her a bitch.”
Bucky seems to think about it for a few seconds. You appreciate his non-talking shit about my ex policy, but in this case? Not deserved. They cheated on you for months. They could have chosen to break up, but they didn't want that. They pretended they are just friends, proposed double dates, lied and hid, and made promises. Your relationships weren't working perfectly well, your sex lives seem very shitty and probably there were signs about this affair, but you cannot blame yourself or Bucky for not seeing them. You deserved the truth. You just can't believe you two are actually in this situation. Giving the wrong people a chance… never again for sure.
"You're right. This is such a fucking shitty thing. I mean, at least fucking break up with me. God, we kissed them, fucked them after they were with each other." He makes a disgusted face.
“So we practically fucked each other already, you know?” You make a joke, trying to change the mood a little. It really is fucked up.
"They didn't see us having sex though." He shakes his head. "They managed to make the lamest sex tapes in history."
“Yeah, I am still traumatized by her fake moans.”
"Fake?" He snorts.
“Yeah, I know how sex is with him. No way those moans are real.”
"Maybe they are. Maybe she enjoys it. She likes him so much they decided this fucking shitty sex is worth it." He leans in and kisses you again suddenly and you don't understand if he's angry because he regrets being with her and getting cheated on or he regrets being betrayed because he wants her so much. You know they fought a lot from your soon-to-be ex, but 8 months are something after all.
You kiss him back nonetheless, enjoying the way his lips and tongue feel. You don't remember the last time you've been kissed this good. If you've ever been with someone like this… he's basically eating you with his mouth.
“It won’t take long for her to regret it. Talking from experience,” you say while kissing him back. You wanna know if he wants her back or not. Not that it matters. You are just curious. Maybe he wants to make her jealous.
"What she wants doesn't matter anymore, doll." He strokes your hair when he stops kissing you so you can take a deep breath. "You called me arrogant, right?"
“Yeah?” You answer hesitantly.
"Do arrogant people ever let themselves be humiliated?" He pauses. "I don't want something like this. Someone like this. I have absolutely no desire to keep a person who does this. I am a patient person, I try to work things out, but this? Never in a fucking million years. Nothing about this relationship was right, I suppose. What about you?"
“I don’t care about him anymore.” Your response comes immediately. You were completely done with him the moment you found out about their affair. There’s no turning back. It was like a switch. That’s why you are here with Bucky. “I tried so hard to make it work, thinking relationships are hard and we gotta put some effort to make it work. All bullshit. I’m done with him. I’m done with lowering my standards. Done with 5-minute sex, and ‘you turn me on so much, I can’t help it’ excuses. There’s no going back for me.”
You see his little smirk and can't help but touch his face. He is really one of the most beautiful men you’ve ever seen.
"I never liked him, and you know it. That small dick energy is unbearable. I think he'd have a heart attack if he even heard us. Can you imagine?"
“I… actually can.” You can envision how that would hurt him and his insufferable ego. “God, she would hate me so much.” You smile.
"Oh, she would. She's always been jealous of you anyway."
“And he hates that you don’t even have to be nice to make people like you. Now he would have an extra reason.”
"Fuck, doll." You feel his thumb on your neck and you shiver. "I'm gonna sound crazy, but wouldn't make you feel satisfied if indeed they heard us?"
You blink, trying to understand his offer. That actually would actually give you pleasure… knowing that he suffers just like you did. You also notice the pet name he uses. You never heard him use it with his (ex) girlfriend, so he’s keeping his promise. “I’d… really like that.”
"Yeah?" He leaves a kiss on the corner of your mouth. "A voice message?"
“Sounds better than actually calling.” You turn your face a little and kiss him on the lips.
"Look at you, you ignored me for months." He bites your bottom lip lightly.
“It wasn’t like you were friendly.”
Does he even hear you?
He takes you in his arms. "Bedroom?"
“Bedroom.” You wrap your legs around his torso in agreement as he leads the way.
"Left?"
“Yeah, hurry up.”
He opens the door with his elbow, then doesn't bother to close it as he lets you down. His hands find your blouse and you hear the ripping sound before you can raise your arms.
You’re surprised but not bothered. Truth be told, you find that very hot. But you still unclip your bra.
“Fucking hell.” He manages to whisper before he leans in and grabs your breasts, his tongue licking all the way down from your neck to your nipple.
You tug on his T-shirt and try to take it off while he’s busy exploring your body.
"You hid these from me."
“Not specifically from you. Move your hands up so I can take this off.”
"From who then?" He frowns and lets go for a second so you can take it off.
“From everyone, of course.”
"God, I wanna come all over them. So pretty.”
“Maybe you should make a mental list. Come on her tits. Come inside her mouth. Come inside her pussy.”
His eyes glow, and you giggle. "Who said I didn't?"
“You did?” You sound impressed. “Wanna share?”
"Wanna share my come? Sure." His fingers find your zipper and you gasp when he takes your pants off from one try.
“Oh, you are filthier than I thought.” You say to cover your surprise.
"You thought about how filthy I am?"
“You think I didn’t consider how this would be before offering a revenge fuck?”
"When?" He takes ahold of your underwear, and you're unsure if he wants to rip it off or simply take it off.
“I just told you.”
"I thought…" He blushes, realizing he misunderstood. It's an asshole move to assume that while you were with that prick, the thought of him like this has even passed your mind. "Forget it."
“No, no, tell me.” You pull him closer by his belt. “Let’s get rid of these.”
"Did you ever think about me before today?" He helps you take off his pants while finally getting rid of your panties.
“What if I did? Does it make me a terrible person?”
"Terrible." He nods, letting the pieces of your underwear drop on the floor along with his boxers and pants before he steps out of them. "So terrible." He kisses you, his hands on your hips, bringing you closer to his cock. You didn't even have proper time to look at him. "The worst."
“I knew it.” You play along. “What about you?”
"I thought about this mouth a lot."
“Just my mouth?” You nudge him by moving your hips up.
"Thought about fucking you in the bathroom."
“When?” Did he really want to fuck you before? He never looked at you twice or at least that’s what you thought.
"A few weeks ago… we… the office. You were with your little group. They were smoking and you wore that fucking lipstick that just blew my mind away. I didn't intend to. You didn't even notice me." He kisses you again but doesn't deepen it.
Everything he said takes you by surprise. You didn’t think that he ever paid attention to you, let alone notice your lipstick and get turned on by it.
“I noticed you, but I thought you were bored. You had a grumpy look on your face most of the time. I liked your blue shirt, though. It makes your eyes pop.”
He moans. Is it so easy to make him moan? you wonder.
"I'm always grumpy and arrogant, of course."
“You don’t seem that grumpy and arrogant right now.” You gently bite his neck and then soothe the spot with your tongue.
"Fucking hell, woman." You feel him grabbing your ass. "Tell me you have a condom."
“In that drawer.” You point to it casually. “But just so you know, I’m on the pills.”
He nods, contemplating for a little while before helping you get on bed and taking a condom from your nightstand.
You don’t question why he chooses to reach for it, yet you can’t help but wonder how it would be like to feel him without any barrier. Your mouth waters at the sight of his naked body.
Maybe, maybe you should let him fuck your mouth, too. Why not?
He quickly puts the condom on and before he can climb on bed, he looks at you. "What you said earlier about the voice message, do you still stand by it?"
You realize you actually forgot about them or why you are doing this for a second. “Yeah. I want them to suffer.”
"Good." He takes his pants from the floor and finds his phone quickly. You didn't even realize he had it when you undressed him.
“So what are we doing exactly? Recording a small part and sending it?”
"Ihm." He nods. "Want that asshole to hear what your real moans sound like." He finally sits on the bed and you spread your legs further apart.
“Only my moans?” You ask while he positions himself.
"No video," he says immediately, and you giggle. That wasn’t your question, but it’s okay. You wonder if he’s being possessive with you already or it's something else.
“I meant what about your moans.”
He smiles. "Yeah, of course, but I'm not a loud person." He drops the phone close to your shoulder. "You, on the other hand… I bet you're a fucking screamer."
“I guess we'll find out. Is it recording already?”
"No, uhm, can you… The code is 0478."
“Let’s start and then we can record when it gets really loud.” You try to sound normal, but you are surprised he's just told you his passcode.
"You sure? We can trim it. I don't want to interrupt you."
"Don't worry. I'm good at multitasking." You give him a smile. "But if you wanna record the whole thing, so you can get off to it later, just say that." You can’t help but tease him a little.
"No, no, it's alright. I just want you to feel good, okay?" He smiles, his hands making their way to your thighs.
"Oh, I will. Don't worry about that." You pull him closer by wrapping your legs around his body. As he pushes inside, you start to forget what you were talking about before.
"Oh, fuck me." He groans when he sees the shape of your mouth. Such a perfect O. You feel so good and he's not even halfway inside you. "You're so wet."
"I can do that." You cheekily respond. "But we would need to change the position." You ignore his second comment.
He kisses you as if he needs to taste you again to be able to breathe, his tongue quickly finding yours once you open your mouth. Your hand gets into his hair at the same time he properly gets inside you.
You moan at the fullness. You haven't felt this stretched for so long, but it doesn't hurt. It just makes you crave more.
"Such a brat when you only needed a good cock." You know he's intentionally teasing you, so you try to find a good response.
"We'll see how good it is."
"Brat." He repeats again and moves his hands to your breast. His thrusts are not constant as he tries to test what you like.
"Put your mouth on them already." You know he wants to. He has been looking at them since he stepped inside your apartment. And you want him to do it, too. The thought itself makes you moan.
"Are you ordering me?"
"Depends. Yes, if you like that. No, if you don't."
He takes a handful of your breast in his mouth in response, not only your nipple, his thrusts getting slower, but a little deeper at the same time. The sound of his tongue licking on your skin makes you close your eyes.
The way he sucks your nipple makes you think he likes taking orders. What a great turn of events, you think.
He switches to the other one quickly, giving it the same treatment, while keeping the pace.
"Do you like it?"
“Yeah, yeah.” You quickly respond. “I love it.”
"Faster?"
“Yep, faster.” You gently push his head onto your breast again, loving the double stimulation.
He moans excitedly as he resumes licking and playing with your breasts, carefully trying to leave a hickey around your nipple. "These are mine now."
He doesn’t mean that, does he? Must be the heat of the moment, but you agreed on not doing that. So you decide to remind him. “Don’t say things you don’t actually mean, remember?”
"I didn't forget, brat. Did you?"
He bites on your nipple, gently, but you still feel it.
“So you actually mean that?” You really want to know, so you ignore the fact that he called you a brat again.
"Mean what?" He leaves a kiss on your nipple to soothe any possible pain. "That these are mine?"
“Yeah.” You sound impatient. Why is he acting clueless now?
"They are, they belong to me. So does your bratty mouth." He kisses you shortly.
You can’t deny how his words turn you on even more.
"I imagined fucking you in a bathroom that day at the office." He groans. "So terrible of me, right? Imagining you with come dripping out of you, down to your thighs as you go back to work. Months of petty silence solved."
“If I'd known my silence bothered you that much, I would have been even more silent until it drove you crazy enough to do something about it.” You move your hips up to match his rhythm. “I just thought you just preferred not speaking to me because you didn’t like me.”
"I would have screwed everything up and fucked you, you understand?" He looks you in the eye, making it clear he is honest. "I would have become a horrible person, but not even that thought would have made me reconsider."
“Yet you didn’t do anything, did you? You never acted on it. You were just a grumpy man with terrible thoughts.” You just want him to know he’s not a horrible person, yet you can’t help but tease him a little at the same time.
"And you just needed the cock of that grumpy man with terrible thoughts, huh?" His thrusts are so much faster now. You wonder: how the fuck does he expect you to answer?
All you can do is whine and moan because somehow he manages to hit all the right places.
"My little cock whore." He groans. "Mine, okay? Just like I am yours."
“Jesus fucking Christ.” You can’t help but react. You find it so hot you can barely stay still. The way he talks during sex… They would really die if they heard you two. That makes you remember… You were supposed to hit the record button.
"Just Bucky. Or James."
“Where the fuck is your phone, Bucky?” You ask while trying to find it without actually looking.
He's confused for a split second, but then he remembers what you agreed on. "To your right."
You finally find the phone and unlock it quickly before dropping it without any care as soon as it starts to record.
"Oh, doll, you're too wet for me. So good." The sound of your skin slapping and the whimpers are so loud. You can’t contain yourself even if you try.
“Faster, please,” you say without thinking. It feels like you are already close. You don’t care if you have to beg for it.
"So greedy." He cries out when he feels your hands on his ass, pulling him deeper inside you.
“Fuckk. That feels good!” You moan loudly and arch your back.
"Holy shit."
He suddenly stops, making you open your eyes and giving him an accusatory look, but then you notice the phone in his hands. Oh, you forgot about it for a second and you have no idea why.
"Are you sending it?"
"Ihm." He doesn't just lock his phone after he is done. He freaking turns it off, surprising you. “I don’t want any interruptions. Want to fuck you in peace.”
You just pull him into another kiss, more passionate this time. You feel his right hand on your tummy, tickling you a little, before stopping down, above your clit.
“You close?” You ask him to make sure because you surely are.
"I'm trying not to come," he says honestly.
“Oh, you can. I’m close, too. I just need it a little faster.” His hand on your clit already makes you realize it won’t take much for you to fall apart.
He pulls back, taking his cock almost completely out, and the emptiness makes you whine. Then he thrusts with full force, making you moan so loudly that you can’t recognize your own voice.
"Fuck, look at you. And those sounds…" He brings his thumb to your lips. "Come on, be a good girl and show me how your pretty little mouth would take my cock. The one that's inside your pussy right now, ready to come for you."
“Such a filthy mouth.” You say while moaning. “Come with me so I can take that cock inside my mouth and show you what it can do.”
"God, come, baby. Please come." He is begging you at this point. His voice is so desperate and soft.
His neediness, the way he says those words finally pushes you off the edge.
“Oh god.” You try to breathe as the orgasm takes over your body, making you shake. Your mouth opens, letting out the most unfiltered moan you've ever heard from yourself. It is pure pleasure with no thoughts, no worries. Your heart and your head are on fire, begging for more. You want this feeling to last as long as possible.
He comes shortly after you, but you don't realize it until you hear his loud groan vibrating against your chest. His hips and ass cheeks are trembling under your touch as he seems lost in his world for a few seconds. You run your fingers through his hair, waiting for him to come down from his high.
“Oh god, baby." You feel his breath on your wet skin and you sigh. "Can I live here forever?"
“That good?” You can’t help but ask. He can feel your smile without looking at you.
He looks up. "Ihm. What about you?"
“Wanna get your ego stroked?” You ask genuinely. “Promise that you’re not gonna use it against me.”
He kisses your throat. "I don't make such promises, woman."
“Then you won’t get to hear it.” You expose your throat more while talking.
"What if I eat the truth out of you?"
“Eat the truth out of me?”
"Ihm. You know… when you're under sex spell, you become truthful."
“You are welcome to try.” There’s no way you are gonna turn down another orgasm like this one.
"Perfect." He leaves another kiss on the valley between your breasts and sighs. "Have to take this off first," he says, taking his cock out with a small hiss before standing up near the bed, watching you. "Where can I throw this away?"
“There’s a trashcan in the bathroom.” You point at it while getting more comfortable on the bed.
"Be right back."
You feel something cold on your back and realize it’s his phone. You put it on the nightstand, thinking about how he turned his phone off in the middle of the sex. You make a mental note to ask him to send you that voice message later, so you can remember how good the sex felt.
He comes back with your small semi-wet towel and watches you carefully. "Look, I meant what I said about eating the truth out of you, but only if you are okay with it. I won't ask again. I could always just leave, you know? No big deal." But you can see in his face it would be a big deal. Maybe he likes your company. The sex is amazing.
“Do you wanna leave, Bucky?” You already know his answer.
"No, I don't."
“Then come here and do whatever you wanna do.”
He doesn't need to be told twice. You watch him drop to his knees and, at the same time, drag you closer to the edge of the bed as quickly as he can. You let out a surprised gasp, but it turns into a whole moan when he lifts your legs on his shoulders and starts licking you from your entrance to your clit.
“Fuck, you weren’t joking.”
He acknowledges your words by playing with his tongue around your clit. You move your hips slowly, up and down, just to create a little more friction. Your greed grows while you watch him eagerly lick every bit of your pussy.
You don't expect to feel his fingers at your entrance all of the sudden as you're focused on his tongue. And you especially don't expect him to curl two of his fingers and get them inside you at once. No warnings.
“Oh fuck, yes!” You find yourself grabbing his hair, just needing something to hold on to.
And he moans, buckling his hips in the air at the slight pain. The pace of his fingers matches his tongue, but it's not enough.
“Add the third finger.” You sound desperately close.
He is surprised, you can sense it, but he quickly does what you say, his tongue eagerly toying with your clit faster than before.
“I’m so close!” You warn.
He stops licking for a little and you try to move your hips to meet his mouth. What the fuck is he doing? No time for edging.
"What were you gonna say, doll? What did you think it would stroke my ego?"
“What?” You raise on your elbows, looking like a mess. “Really?”
"If you want my tongue, you give me an answer."
“You are unbelievable!” You sound so betrayed.
"I warned you not to cry, doll."
You really want to keep that thought to yourself, but the ache between your legs doesn’t care about your pride. “I can’t believe you are doing this right now.”
He gives you a small smile, and you see him leaning in again. You think you won, getting more comfortable, ready to come soon, but he only licks you twice, teasingly, and lets your clit go.
"Do what?"
You whine loudly. The feeling of his tongue lingers on your clit. “You wanna play dirty?” Maybe you can’t win this fight, but it doesn’t mean you can’t win others. “Fine.” You sit up a little, looking into his eyes. “It was the best orgasm I’ve ever had. Happy now?”
"Delighted. Now was it so hard? You get a reward for being my good and honest girl."
“Yeah, whatever.” You roll your eyes.
"Fucking brat," you hear him whisper right before his tongue finds your clit again, finally licking it in circles properly. He starts to move his fingers, too, and even though they are obviously not even close to the thickness of his cock, they feel incredible.
But you are too annoyed now, at the same time. A part of you just wants to hold back and not give him the pleasure of hearing you come. So he tries harder. You hear him whimpering as he takes your clit into his mouth, sucking on it. And you swallow a moan while your legs are trembling.
"Come on, baby." His fingers move faster, too. "Let it go."
Your whole body starts to shake uncontrollably, but you keep your moans to yourself, pressing your lips together tightly just out of spite. You can see he hates it, but he doesn't stop until you finish coming. And it feels amazing, but you are sure it would have been even better if you had let yourself enjoy it freely.
He sighs into your clit and leaves a kiss there before he stands up. "You're mad."
“No shit, Sherlock.”
"Ah, doll. Nothing can tame that mouth."
“More like actions and consequences. I wasn’t ready to share that, but you forced me to say it for an orgasm, so that’s what you get. An orgasm. Nothing more, nothing less.”
"Forced?" His face shows concern as he sits next to you. "That wasn’t my intention. The last thing I want is to make you feel trapped.” He seems like he’s confused. He looks around and meets your gaze again. “Do you want me to leave?"
“If you wanna leave, just leave, but if that wasn’t really your intention, you can start with apologizing.”
"I am sorry," he immediately says, taking your hands into his. "I was just trying to… be silly I guess."
“You wanted your ego stroked, I get it. We both need it after what happened, but… I don’t know. I just felt exposed.”
"I'm sorry." He kisses your cheek. "I might be a grumpy arrogant son of a bitch, but forcing…"
You start to tear up, hearing him say sorry this quickly. Fucking relationship trauma.
"Oh god, baby, I am sorry, I didn't…" he tries to wipe your tears with his thumbs. "I'm a jackass, but I swear I wasn't trying to force you. I thought it was just a game. My bad."
“No, no. This is on me. Sorry.” You try to take a deep breath. “He just never said sorry no matter how hurt I was. He always had an excuse. This is just… trauma I guess.”
"What a fucking douchebag. I can fuck him up really good, you know?" He suggests. "Just say the words."
“He’s probably already fucked up by the fact that we are fucking.” That thought cheers you up a little.
"His face deserves it, too." Bucky puffs and kisses your wet cheeks. "To be honest, this whole should I leave question comes from my relationship trauma, too. So you’re not alone. She either wanted me to leave or she left every fucking time we disagreed on something. She once threw my shoes out of the window just so I'd go. I don't know why we kept trying…"
“Oh.” You finally understand why he keeps offering to leave. It isn't about you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I thought you were just trying to get out when things get hard.”
"Don't be sorry. I prefer to talk on the spot, to be honest. Letting everything out is healthier. Don't "
“Or take a break whenever it’s needed. Doesn’t mean you have to leave though.”
"Yeah! Exactly."
You laugh a little. You never realized how similar you two are. Today is changing your perspective completely. “Your apology is accepted by the way, but under one condition.”
"What is that?'
“Tell me something about yourself that you don’t want me to know.”
He thinks for a second. "My breath smells like death in the morning. I can make your plants die if you let me."
You shake your head, amused. “That’s not good enough. Everyone’s breath smells bad in the morning.”
"What do you wanna know then?"
“Something on the same level of having your best orgasm.”
"I think you broke me."
“What?”
"You broke me." He repeats as if that is an explanation.
“In what way?”
He kisses you just as desperately as he did in the kitchen, as if this is the first time he kisses you and he can't ever get enough. "I want you for more than one time, do you understand?"
“Oh. Well… That can be arranged.”
"Yeah?" He drags you by your hips, placing you on top of his thighs.
“I would actually like that.”
He kisses you some more, letting his hands wander all over your body, stopping especially on your neck and breasts.
"You like it rough, don't you? Not complaining about me ripping your clothes off, loving the bites." He pulls your hair, just to prove his point in case you deny. You moan.
“Yeah, apparently you like it rough, too.” You don’t deny. Why would you?
"Of course I do, brat." He then turns you around suddenly. "All fours, please."
“Since you asked so nicely,” You stop for the dramatic effect and say as sarcastically as possible: “Boss.”
"Wanna make me your boss?"
“You are already acting like one.” You stand on all fours, pushing your ass back while lowering your head.
"Fuck! You're such a sight, you know?" Bucky's eyes don't leave your body.
“Am I?”
"I wanna look at you like this all day long."
You look at him amused. “I’m afraid I don’t have that much patience.”
You notice him shaking his head. "Of course."
“It’s rude to make me wait like this, you know?”
"Sorry, just wanted to remember this." Bucky feels a little bad for the thoughts he has. He mentally took a picture of you cause he can't ask this from you, right? You're not a couple, and even if you were, it doesn't mean exchanging or keeping photos like this would be okay.
His hips touch your ass as he positions himself at your entrance. "Any limits that come to your mind? I won't ask again."
“We already decided on the rules. I don’t think there’s anything besides them.”
"I'm not gonna hold back this time." Not completely… he grabs a handful of your hair as he thrusts inside you. "I'm gonna pound the fuck out of you and you're gonna take it like a good little girl, understand?"
“I understand. You won’t stop until I say stop.”
"Jesus Christ." He moans halfway inside you at the feel of your extra wet pussy. He feels out of breath just by standing still. "How…"
“Oh, fuck.” You nearly choke. It feels unbelievably good. This position is doing wonders.
"I didn't think-" he says, but at the same time doesn't move an inch. "Fuck, it feels too good, this pussy is driving me crazy. You are driving me crazy." He grips your hair harder without warning and starts to thrusts properly inside you, making sure to squeeze your left breast with his free. The sounds of your wet skin slapping make him curse under his breath.
“You didn’t think what?” You sound out of breath already.
"I cannot fuck you with condoms again." Technically he can, but he doesn’t want to.
You smile widely. “Why is that?”
"Because I am completely fucked."
“You like it that much?”
"Like it?" He puffs, unamused, and starts to finally pound you the way he imagined a few weeks ago. Maybe even harder.
“Oh, fuck!” Yep, he’s right. You are fucked, too.
"You might need to fix me very often, you know?" He drops his hand from your hair just to properly grab your hips. You can barely keep your position like this, his thrusts are so deep.
“Fix you?”
"Yeah. Fix my cock." Oh, that’s what he means.
“We can fix each other then.”
"Ihm." He doesn't say much after this, too focused on kissing your back and keeping the pace at the same time. He's ready to come any minute.
“Harder, Bucky. Please!” You need to come. Really desperately.
"How much harder?" He thrusts a little harder. "More or like this?"
“As hard as you can.”
He doesn't disagree with you, but you know he's holding back even when he pushes harder. And harder. And harder.
"I'm gonna come," he manages to moan. "Fuck I'm gonna come inside you, gonna make a mess. Tell me you… t-tell me you want my come."
“I want your come, Bucky, please. p Please, come with me!” You are already shaking uncontrollably.
"Fuck." That's all you get from him before he's coming, his fingers digging so hard into your skin that you moan again, dizzy from your orgasm.
He keeps moving, making a mess, indeed. It’s already dripping out, you can feel it.
"I came so much." You hear him say suddenly through fogginess.
You smile, resting your head on the bed still, feeling unable to move.
"Not gonna say anything?"
“I died and went to heaven.” You murmur. The orgasm is still running through your veins, making you twitch here and there.
"I've been in heaven for a while."
You finally turn around and look at him. “It was so fucking good.”
"No words." He slowly gets out of you and you notice how happy he is, not taking his eyes off your pussy. "It's gonna start dripping… all over your thighs and sheets. What a nice mark." He even brings a finger to your entrance and pushes back some come.
“Do you have a breeding kink or something?” You smile while asking.
"A breeding kink?"
“Yeah, do you know what it is?”
"Something to do with my come inside you?" He teases. His confusion seems to fade away.
“Yeah, and getting me pregnant.”
He groans, closing his eyes.
“They do that pushing the come back inside thing most of the time.”
"I guess I have a breeding kink." He smiles, accepting it instantly, and finally closes the gap to kiss you. "You might not get rid of me now."
“I knew it!” You point at him with your finger. “I wasn’t gonna get rid of you anyways.”
"Wanna keep me as your boy toy?"
“You wanna be my boy toy?” Your whole face lights up.
"You look quite excited."
“I never had a boy toy before.”
"No?" He shakes his head. "Time to change that. And as your boy toy, I should always make sure you're having a good time." He surprises you by spreading your legs again.
“No, no, no, no. It’s my turn.”
Bucky shakes his head. "Need to get you clean, and then we can do whatever you want, alright?"
“You are really something else.” You sound amazed.
He smirks. "And you're stuck with me. You're all mine now."
You don't get to say anything anymore as you feel his tongue at your entrance. So you just grab his hair, closing your eyes, your exes long forgotten.
“And you are all mine.”
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meidiary · 7 months
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( 📁 ) THEY ENTERTAIN ANOTHER WOMAN FOR TOO LONG
synopsis: instead of them being jealous, this time you are because of their attention being focused on someone else 🤧
characters: zoro, luffy & sanji!
warnings: female terms used in zoro's & sanji's <3, nicknames + swearing, angst for sanji
mei's note: my previous post had an accidental angsty ending for luffy so i'll be posting a happy one soon! <3
⟶ @ahseyy request: ... And i have this idea 🤧 we had that the OP boys are jealous, sooooo obviously we need that Yn is jealous! ...
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☆ "they're just friends!" usopp's words kept ringing in your mind as you stare at ZORO and his ex-girlfriend.. you and the rest of the strawhat crew had stopped sailing, planning to settle a bit on the island you came across. oh, how you deeply regret telling luffy that "this seems like a good place for us to stay in and regain our energy!" now you're stuck witnessing this situation play out, having you completely engrossed in it.
☆ usopp, having a sixth sense for drama, immediately noticed the lack of your presence as a result of you spying observing zoro and his ex.
☆ "are you done spying on your boyfriend?" he chuckles seeing your startled expression. "i'm not spying on him! i'm just-" you see her playfully slap his bicep, earning a displeased look on your face. "why is he even speaking to her for so long? it's not like they left at the best terms.." you blurt out, sighing after seeing usopp's sly smirk.
☆ you know he thinks you're an obsessively jealous person, but you can't find it in you to care because there she goes touching him again! the worst of it all is that zoro doesn't seem to be bothered by it.. your eyebrows furrow as you keep witnessing them smiling way too much, standing way too close, being way too touchy, and the worst of all; they're talking way too soft for you to eavesdrop!
"that's it, i'm going over there!" you utter annoyed, dropping the mop you were holding for the past 15 minutes, having made little to no progress at cleaning the ship's floor. usopp, taken aback, dashes to stand in front of you, blocking the exit of the ship. "are you out of your mind? don't you understand you'll be labeled as the most controlling girlfriend ever?! just- sit this confrontation out alright?" he let's out a sigh of relief, feeling he prevented a major fight to go down, not only between you and zoro, but possibly also between you and zoro's ex..
usopp was right, you know he was, but you couldn't bother thinking straight while you were still seeing that woman being handsy with your man. fuming, you gaze at the two, loathing the almost non-existent space there was between them. "i'm so done," you mutter upset. "please take over cleaning for me today, usopp.." you left to your room and plopped down on your bed, trying to put all your intrusive thoughts to rest.
but of course you couldn't after having seen that interaction between the two. were you exaggerating? was this normal? is it wrong for you to feel this way? this fuming feeling is causing you so much distress. it's like your thoughts are eating you up from the inside. you don't want to feel this way, like you're the one at fault, like you're not enough, like you'll never be enough.. right after that thought crept up out of the darkest pits of your brain, you heard a knock on your, now locked, bedroom door. "baby? you alright?.. why's the door locked-? baby?" you recognize zoro's voice immediately, mentally being stuck between picking the easy choice: ignoring him and bottling up your feelings, or the hard one: facing him and talk to him about your current thoughts..
unbeknownst to you, you unconsciously chose the former option. you open the door and look him in his eyes, hiding as much of your feelings possible. "what?" he furrows his brows, confused by your cold welcome before he remembers usopp warning him you weren't in a good mood because of his overfriendly encounter with his ex. "is this about her?" he chuckles before shaking his head slightly, in disbelief you'd be this bothered by someone from his past. "so what if it is?! is it so weird for me to be upset some woman is being all handsy with you?! and is it suprising that i got bothered even more by you not minding her touching you? is it that weird, zoro? 'cause if it is, please, do tell me!" you blurt out, almost all in one breath, before slamming the door shut.
you weren't planning on letting it out, you didn't want to bother, assuming he'd just brush it off as you exaggerating.. you didn't expect him to open the door you aggressively slammed in his face, so soon. you didn't expect him to, when he saw you leant on the wall with furrowed brows and a trembling upper lip, grab you by the waist and pull you closer to him, so close there was barely anything between you at all.. and least of all did you expect him to grab your chin, raising it so you looked him in the eyes while he told you "if i gave one shit about her, would i be here right now? tell me, if i didn't care about you at all, then why would i tell her i'm not interested in getting back together with her when she asked? why would i tell her i finally found someone that i want to spend the rest of my life with? shit, as cheesy as it sounds, it's true, baby.. i can't imagine being with anyone else except you. so please, don't you get jealous about girls i don't give a damn about."
you send him a soft smile, leaning your forehead on him. "don' know who told you i was jealous.. but you got to get better sources 'cause i for sure wasn't jealous.." zoro scoffs letting out a "yeah, right."
☆ needless to say you two made up and cuddled for the rest of the day.
☆ that would be the end.. but of course usopp had to bug you.. "hey! i took over your cleaning today, so you better take over mine for the next week.." usopp pleaded, with both his hands on his hips. "out." zoro mumbled into your neck, expecting him to comply instantly. "but-!" usopp began to bicker, before getting interrupted by zoro. "now." you accidentally let out a giggle, swiftly moving your hand to cover your mouth right after. "whatever! i will be back, considering this debt!" with that usopp leaves the room, leaving you two alone, enjoying the comfortable silence.
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☆ SANJI is a womanizer, that's no shocking discovery. you've know about this fact since the moment you met him. he was charming you up while asking everyone's drinks and then he went off, flirting with another woman on his way back to the kitchen. that moment you learned that this was sanji. but there's also the caring sanji that'd make you a warm soup when you're sick, tending to your needs yet still somehow find away to make you blush whilst laughing with him. in addition to the caring sanji, there also is the determined sanji; whenever he'd speak about finding the all blue, and all the meals he would cook, all the different fish he would see, you could swear you saw his eyes glistening with adoration and resolve. further, intellectual sanji heavily plays a role in your daily life; happily helping you with mundane chores to the most exciting adventures you and your fellow strawhats go on. he fills you in on books he's read, food he's cooked, ingredients he's used, products he's bought and much more!
☆ you could go on and on, daydreaming of all sanji's positive personality traits, but you're all time favorite would have to be considerate sanji.. the way he could immediately sense from you that you weren't feeling like your usual self still amazes you. how he always chooses the right moments to bring you a freshly brewed cup of tea with your favorite desert right next to it, which you have know idea how he had the time nor ingredients for. how he treats you like a princes and tells you how much you mean to him in so many different ways when you feel absolutely miserable. and, oh, how he always knows when to embrace you tightly and whisper sweet nothings into your ear, until it becomes numb.
☆ so with all that, you accepted him being a womanizer, having the seemingly perpetuous habits of bantering with other women. you always wondered if he'd stop flirting with so many women if you asked him to.. but then the thought that you two were nothing and wouldn't be anything else than friends hit you.
☆ nevertheless, seeing his cheeky smile being sent to some random woman, seeing him subtly sling his arm around her waist as he guids her to the dance floor, seeing him lean closer to her every minute, it was killing you, no more like slowly scraping you from the inside, the bottled up pain waiting for you to finally burst open.
you've been eyeing them the whole night, not once taking your eyes off of them or bothering to answer usopp's rants with more than a 'mhm,' or a 'hmm'. "have you listened to a word i said?!" usopp voiced suddenly, turning the strawhats' complete attention to you. "mhm.." absent-minded, you nod hearing him say something, but not comprehending the words he spoke.
"see, told you she wasn't paying attention," usopp leaned back against his seat after pulling up his shoulders, indicating he was right about you not paying attention to what anyone was saying. zoro, being the one seated next to you, tapped your shoulder, earning a "hm?" from you. getting annoyed by your negligence, he shifted his gaze to the direction you were looking in, finally understanding what the issue was.
to clarify your absent-mindness, zoro nudged his head towards sanji and his date. his date, who was sat on his lap at this point, making the knot in your stomach grow substantially. seeing his arm wrap around her hips as she leaned on him was your final stroke, your last straw. it was your breaking point.. you've reached, no, you've long surpassed your limit for these shenanigans, but right now, this very moment you finally break.
you suddenly feel a rush of tears burn your eyes, overwhelmed with your thoughts and emotional distress. you jump up, hurriedly leaving the club room you were in, not wanting anyone to see you in your current state. you desperately search for a private area where you can cry yourself out of this situation without having people judge you. but you notice the whole place is packed with couples who can't keep their hands off of each other, except the balcony, so you shakingly make your way to the cold space.
all of a sudden, you hear someone's heavy breathing behind you. "darling? what's the matter? what happened?!" sanji. he asks you breathlessly, due to him running after you. you quickly tried to wipe your tears away, but they kept coming! making you feel even more hysterical. "hey, hey now -" sanji notices your crying, he turns you around, his arms moving from your arms down to your waist, pulling you closer to him. "talk to me, sweetheart.. please, just talk to me.." he pleads, moving his face closer to yours.
"i- i can't- do- it!" you babbled in-between sobs. "what, darling? who did this to you?" sanji moves his hands to your cheeks, pulling your face to his, carefully. "you..! you're killing me!" he furrows his brows in confusion. once you calmed down, you slowly tore one of his hands off your face. "i can't keep seeing you with others, sanji.. it really fucking hurts! i- i just can't-" you push him away a little, "i can't keep bottling it up sanji.. i'm done.."
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☆ he didn't even mean to.. he was just being friendly, he was cracking jokes, making sure she was feeling calm and at peace, he asked sanji to get her something to snack, he was being luffy..
☆ normally, you'd swoon over him whenever he'd be in this caring mood of his. but not this time, no. this time, you were close to glowing green out of envy. you shouldn't be feeling this way, you know that. you trust luffy with your everything! it just hits you in the wrong place whenever he leans towards her when she speaks. it's like you can feel your heart cramp up each time she looks up at him and smiles, receiving his usual toothy grin in return.
☆ she was lost, abandoned at sea by her very own family. at least that's the bit you picked from usopp dramatically narrating her lifestory. is it heartless that all you could think of was that you hoped, the strawhats and you would drop her off at the very next island, wish her luck with her life, and continue your journeys? knowing luffy, that's the last thing that would happen. no, it's not even on the list of things he would ever consider! your thoughts made you feel absolutely terrible. you weren't a bad person, so why were you being so uncaring towards this poor girl who had lost so much? envy. jealousy can bring out the absolute worst in people. the lowest of a person's nature gets drawn out someone. and that someone now, was you.
you tried to stay away from her, not wanting to accidentally lash out. you felt bad for her, you did, but you also how far you could go, when jealousy takes apart in decision-making. so you avoid her, and just like that, you were also avoiding luffy. because for some reason, he was always near her, always. it's like he was scared she'd run away?
luffy noticed. but he didn't know the reason you were avoiding her. he's always optimistic and cheerful, so everyone expects him to always be exactly that, except you. you were there for him, allowing him to have bad days. he didn't have to hide his feelings or emotions. it was a relief for him to find someone like you, someone he lived so dearly, who lived him back just as much. it was refreshing, calming, delightful. what happened? what did he do? was he too much? or did he do too little to show you he cares so much, that he'd give you the world if you asked for it. he'd go to the moon and back for you. he doesn't know how, but he'd find a way. and now he lost you? that can't be true. it can't. he won't accept it!
that's how you got in your current situation; his face was buried in the crook of your neck, his hands holding you tightly by your waist, mumbling something about how good you smell.
you had told him the reason you were avoiding was because of your sudden jealousy. he laughed for a good 10 minutes about how ridiculous you were to think of something like that! but in his mind, oh, how relieved he was that you weren't avoiding him because you fell out of love with him. it was because you were too in love with him..
☆ you two ended up having a picnic on deck, trying to keep usopp and chopper away from your neatly set up meals prepared by sanji (duh)
☆ luffy kept teasing you about how jealous you were and that you love him too much for your own good. acting like he wasn't on the verge of being a crying mess because he thought he lost you 🙄
☆ he kept giving you nose tip smooches while telling you you'll never lose him <3
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MEI'S NOTE: so, uhm yeah sanji's part was definitely something...
... hope you enjoyed!! <3
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