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jungkooksrealgirlfriend · 1 year

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Eggs Breakfast 🍳🫦

🥚pairing: jungkook x fem reader

🥚word count: 3.5k

🥚genre: really filthy smut 😭

🥚summary: while cooking breakfast for jungkook one morning, his mind cracks an idea. what if he were the one making the scrambled eggs today?

🥚warnings: dom!jungkook, sub!reader, unprotected sex, anal sex, food play, fingering, explicit language, oral sex, dirty talk, creampie, crack (🤣🍳) fic, idfk what else but this shit is dirty

🥚disclaimer (with the notion that only a small group of my friends will read this): i am not a writer by any means and i just wrote this for fun because my friend requested a fic based on an inside joke our friend group has and i wanted to take a crack (pun intended) at it. for that reason, i apologize if certain things don’t make sense. it’s also got other random inside jokes sprinkled in so if something seems weirdly mentioned, random, or goofy then that’s probably why. also, i did write this the best i could but it’s also a joke fic so don’t take it seriously. and no, i don’t have a kink of jungkook fucking eggs into my booty hole 😭💀 but if any of u do i don’t kink shame and i hope u enjoy fr 🤝 and to my friends DON’T FUCKING ROAST ME LMFAOAOAOO i wrote this out of the kindness in my heart for a friend who was in (really) desperate need. also!! i am a tumblr noob and don’t know much about formatting, but i’ve found this is easier to read when it’s not on my xxx.tumblr.com page but instead on the normal tumblr.com/xxx page (at the time of posting this in dec 2022) because the spacing doesn’t carry over for some reason? bro idk if it’s the theme i chose or it’s something fixable on tumblr but like i said i’m not a writer nor tumblr savvy 💀 so bear with me

Jungkook leans on the kitchen counter, arms crossed over his chest as he watches you standing across from him, back turned his way. He hated the way his cock stirred in his sweats at the sight of you cooking breakfast in those sleeping shorts you liked to wear. If it wasn’t your exposed legs that got him going, it was definitely the way half your ass was peeking out from under the cloth.

Yet you simply continued your activities, being none the wiser to the man standing behind you. You reached for the carton of fresh eggs sitting on the counter, grabbing one before cracking it into the pan. You didn't need to ask Jungkook how he liked his eggs in the morning, because after being in a three year long relationship, you knew all too well that he preferred them over easy, just as he knew you preferred yours scrambled and with ketchup.

He also knew that you preferred iced coffee over hot coffee, and that you liked warmer weather over colder weather. But one of his favorite things he knew about you was how you were ever so willing to try new things, whether that be hesitantly tasting a new food at his favorite restaurant or agreeing to try something crazy in the bedroom.

You two were no strangers to spicing it up during naughty time, and you both have always been open and communicated about the things you’ve wanted to try. That thought alone caused Jungkook’s mind to wander, truly wondering if you really were willing to try anything at all. Because the sight of you in those shorts, cracking eggs into a pan set his imagination on fire.

He gingerly pushes himself off the counter and walks towards you, arms swaying briefly at his sides before he pushes himself against your back and snakes his hands around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. You giggle, flipping the egg in the pan.

“Getting impatient? It’s almost done, baby.��

“I think I’m hungry for something else now,” he rasps out, morning voice still present as he pushes his clothed dick against your ass. “Don’t know how you expect me to behave when you're leaving little to the imagination.”

At that you smirk, and Jungkook thinks maybe you did it on purpose to get a rise out of him. His suspicion turns out to be true when you turn off the stove, slide his egg onto a plate, and turn around with a look in your eyes that he knows all too well.

“But baby,” you say, feigning innocence as you travel your hand up his exposed chest, “don’t you want to eat your breakfast? It’s over easy, just how you like it. And eggs are good for stamina.” you tease.

“You’re a little motherfucking stinker,” he snickers. “I want you to know that.”

“Hmmm, am I?” you muse, “You’re the one talking nonsense at 9 in the morning. Maybe you’re the motherfucking stinker.”

There is no serious weight to either of your words at the obvious joke, yet he still clenches his jaw and moves his face only inches from yours, eyes meeting eyes.

He lets out a small breath, “You’re going to regret saying that. You have no idea what I wanna do to you right now.”

You can’t help but laugh, not missing the lustful glint in his eyes. You love the back and forth that often happens between you two. It causes your stomach to bubble with anticipation because it doesn’t take long for him to get you wet and in the mood.

“I never regret anything.”

“Oh baby,” he rests his forehead against yours, “you will this time.”

Suddenly you’re pulled from your spot of being pinned against the stove and are shoved front-forward against the breakfast bar, hands sprawled out on the granite countertop. You can’t help but smile like an idiot because pushing his buttons is your favorite thing to do, and what tends to follow soon after leaves you breathless.

You feel him slide his hands up and down your sides, this action alone sending shivers through your spine. But when he begins to push you down onto the counter with his naked chest against your back, hands following down your arms and intertwining with your own, you find yourself holding your breath before your cheek meets the cold surface with hands on either side of your head.

He’s almost laying on top of you, squishing your body between his own and the breakfast bar. You can only imagine how erotic the scene must look and you wish you had a mirror nearby so you could look into it and see how his body fit against yours like a puzzle piece. You feel his now fully hard dick poking your ass, his chest against your back, and his hands on top of yours. You feel him everywhere, yet not in the places you’re craving him the most right now.

He leans down to your ear and nibbles on it. “I’m not going to be nice this time. I know you did all this to intentionally provoke me. Is this fun for you?” he chuckles, “Pushing my buttons to get me riled up?”

His voice comes out raspier than you expect and it sends a shiver throughout your whole body causing you to rub your thighs together. He cocks his head to the side a bit, eyes meeting yours and you know he’s waiting for an answer, so you nod your head and smirk up at him.

“Yeah, it’s pretty fucking hot.”

This causes him to smirk back at you as he licks his bottom lip. You slightly lift your head and allow your eyes to follow the movement before looking back up into his own in an unspoken request. He understands what you want and grants your wish by connecting your lips together.

This kiss is rough and needy, but his lips feel so good against yours that you moan in satisfaction. Bodies on fire, tongues dancing together, and with the need to feel more you push your ass harder against his length in an attempt to gain some friction earning a grunt from the man who, of course, isn’t wearing any underwear.

Jungkook, knowing you better than you know yourself, grants you your silent plea as he begins to grind your covered heat with his knee. He grinds, and grinds. You feel your adrenaline pick up and you can’t take it anymore.

“Jungkook,” you gasp out, “need to feel you.”

He chuckles before pulling away, pushing himself off your back and leaving you flat against the counter. His breathing is heavy as he lifts his tattooed arm to brush his hair back, his other arm grabbing firm hold of your waist. Your eyes drop to his abs as they flex at the action, and you swear you could hear purring at this point because of how much your pussy gushed with anticipation.

He shakes his head, “Look at you, begging for my cock. Is this what you wanted all along? For me to bend you over the counter and fuck you so well like you know I can?”

His voice was low and sultry and fuck, he sounded so hot it made you automatically clench around nothing. He always knew what to say to make your knees weak.

“Yes” you say, voice coming out whinier than you expected. “Need you so bad right now, baby.”

He knew you went crazy over his dirty words, and you knew he went crazy when you begged for him.

“Then spread your legs for me, love.”

He tucks his fingers under your waistband slowly tugging them down your legs along with your panties that were now soaked with your arousal. You felt the cold air hit your core and you let out a shaky breath, stepping out of the two articles of clothing once they were by your ankles.

Without waiting for instruction, you momentarily lift yourself off of the counter to pull your shirt over your head, being left completely nude and vulnerable to Jungkook’s eyes. However, you didn’t feel embarrassed or insecure. You felt the opposite actually, since Jungkook always made you feel like the most beautiful girl in the world who had the sexiest body, and he often showed you how much he loved it.

Laying back down on the counter, Jungkook places his hands back on your now naked waist, kicking your legs open with his own, wide enough for him to stand in between. He slides his long fingers through your slick folds causing you to quickly shut your eyes and moan at the contact. The combination of his fingers and the cold counter underneath your bare chest makes you shiver and you spread your legs even wider.

Jungkook snickers and retrieves his fingers, earning a protesting whine from you. Sneaking a glance back, you see him pulling his gray sweats down his hips, letting them fall to his ankles before he steps out of them and kicks them somewhere to the side along with your clothes too.

Seeing his bare dick practically makes your mouth water and you wish you could drop to your knees and pleasure him, however his hold on you is tight and you know whatever he has planned will please both of you.

Momentarily locking eyes with him, you both smirk at each other before you lay your cheek back on the surface, eagerly awaiting him to part your folds. However, the intrusion doesn’t come and you instead feel him lean to reach for something. Once again, you lift your head to look over your shoulder, seeing him grab an egg from the open carton you left by the stove.

“Jungkook… what are you doing?” you question.

He returns to his previous position, egg in hand and knowing smirk on his face. Your eyes move between the egg and his eyes, until he leans down, nose almost touching yours. You can feel his warm breath on your face and the close proximity makes you clench again. He’s staring deep into your eyes and you feel like he’s staring straight into your soul.

“I’m going to crack this egg into your ass and fuck you so hard that I scramble it. Then, I’m gonna enjoy my breakfast.”

You tense at his words. He wants to what? The idea sounds crazy but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t considering it, imagining him fucking you, using the slippery egg as your lube until you’re screaming his name. However, you’re hesitant because this is new territory for the both of you.

“You’re joking right? You can’t be serious about that. About fucking it in my ass. About… scrambling it.” you question.

Was he joking? Jungkook didn’t know. He was sure that the heat radiating off your bodies was enough to fry an egg, so why not scramble it?

“You should know more than anyone when I am and am not fucking around.” he rasps out.

You gulp, getting more turned on by his words. Were you really about to let him crack an egg in your booty hole? In other circumstances you’d probably laugh in his face and tell him he’s being ridiculous, but in this moment the raw sex appeal he’s radiating has you considering it. Really considering it.

Staring back into his eyes you slowly nod your head, your lips slightly turning upwards.

“Okay big boy. Show me exactly what you mean. Show me how well you can fuck me with that egg.”

At this he backs away and stands tall, smirking to himself before he takes a deep breath.

“Spread yourself for me.” he commands.

You lay your cheek on the counter and reach behind you, grabbing your ass and spreading it open.

Jungkook knew in order for the egg to make it into your hole he was going to have to stretch you out, so he took his his index and middle fingers and began rubbing them through your folds to gather some of your arousal.

The touch came as a shock to you and you jerked forward, mewling at the feeling. His fingers felt so good and you thought if he kept on you would’ve came before he even entered you.

He continues to gather your slick and moves it to your ass, rubbing it over your puckered hole to allow for easier penetration.

He begins to push one finger in, a deep moan ripping out of your throat. He used his other hand to caress the small of your back as he kept slowly pushing in until he was a knuckle deep. He then slowly pulled out, repeating the process until he was pumping you. The pace wasn’t anything drastic, and the feel of his single finger was definitely not enough for you to reach your high, but that didn’t stop the quiet whimpers that escaped your lips.

After deciding you needed more, you pushed your ass back and he took that as a sign to add a second finger, fingering you faster and deeper than before.

With each pump, you moaned out at the feeling, cursing under your breath when he adds a third finger. Jungkook wanted to make sure you were stretched enough, so he took his time, gradually quickening his pace.

All that could be heard in the tiny kitchen was your whimpers and the soft wet sounds of your arousal coating his fingers.

Suddenly his fingers were gone from your hole and you felt like crying, missing his touch already. A moment passes before you hear the sound of him cracking the egg onto the counter with enough force for the shell to break but not enough for anything to leak out.

Your body felt like it was on fire, your hair sticking to your forehead and you were sure Jungkook’s was doing the same. You could hardly think at this moment, barely registering the words that came from his mouth.

“You ready?” he asks, licking his lips.

You immediately nodded, eager to feel anything.

But you knew Jungkook needed to hear you voice it, so you whispered out a small “Please.”

“So needy.” he mumbles as he slightly lowers down and uses both hands to begin opening the egg, watching as the clear mucus begins to seep into your hole as you still hold your ass open.

The feeling was strange, but not unwelcome. The egg was cold, but not cold enough to feel uncomfortable. Instead, the feeling made you tense and shiver with anticipation, and the thought of Jungkook fucking it into you was the only thing on your mind right now.

He opened it wider, watching as the remainder of egg was sucked into your hole. “I’m glad this went over easy.” he amusingly remarks.

“Fuck you,” you curse, irritation hinting because of how impatient you were. Was he really making puns right now?

“You’re about to,” he smirks, pushing two fingers into your hole to spread the egg. It’s slick and if even possible, it turns him on more, especially from the way you jerk forward and loudly moan.

However, he’s brief and removes his egg-slicked fingers to take his dick into his hand, groaning at the feeling of giving himself a few pumps, coating it with a thin layer of egg white. He grabs your waist before he situates himself at your back entrance, pausing for a second before he begins to push himself in.

He was easily able to bottom out, the slimy texture of the egg being the clear reason for that. He barely gives you any time to adjust before he pulls out and slams his hips forward all over again.

You moan uncontrollably, mouth agape in pleasure and eyes tightly shut. He was pumping in and out of you with ease, further coating his dick with your arousal and the egg that was now surely beginning to froth inside your body the quicker his pace became.

The slick sounds and the way his balls slapped against your pussy made your head spin, and Jungkook was surely enjoying this just as much as you were from the way his head was tilted back and he was groaning, hands holding your hips so tight that you were sure there would be bruises later.

“Fuck!” you screamed out, tears beginning to prick your eyes as your moans began to mix with sobs at how fucking good it felt. The temperature of the egg in your body was now matching your own, a contrast to the cold plated eggs you had cooked earlier that were long forgotten on the counter.

“Jungkook,” you stuttered out, “so…so good” you sobbed.

Hearing you sound so vulnerable, saying his name while he was balls deep inside of you made his cock twitch and a moan escape his lips. He loved you so much and would do anything for you. He would get on his hands and knees and wash your feet as Jesus did for Judas, simply doing it out of his love and obsession for you.

You felt your stomach begin to tighten, a sign that you were close to your high. Jungkook was close too, but he wanted you to cum first so he let go of your hip with one of his hands and began to circle your sensitive bud as you shuddered underneath him. He then moved his fingers from your clit to your entrance, pushing in and pumping his fingers fast.

“I am go-go-go-gonna cum.” you stutter, seemingly not able to even say that simple sentence as you screw your eyes shut tighter.

The combination of his dick pumping in your ass and his fingers in your cunt brings a whole new wave of pleasure. You feel so full of him and without warning, you tense and feel the knot snap in your stomach as you cum on his fingers and uncontrollably clench around them. Your ass convulses as you’re clenching hard around his dick, seeming to involuntarily suck it in deeper with ease pulse.

Your entire body tingles as you let out a guttoral moan and say his name over and over like a chant. Tears are rolling down your cheeks as you begin to feel the start of overstimulation.

Jungkook pauses for a moment, removing his fingers from your cunt before he shoves them into your mouth and uses his other hand to hold you down by your neck, the pressure making your eyes roll back into your head as you suck his fingers and taste yourself, moaning as you do.

He then starts pumping at an even more animalistic pace than before, trying to reach his own high as you start whimpering from the overstimulation.

“I know baby, I know.” he soothes, keeping the same pace before his hips begin stuttering and he cums inside your ass, a loud moan ripping from his throat as well.

He doesn’t move, you both breathing heavily as he curses and lays his head on your back, intertwining his hands with your own. You feel content at having just been properly fucked and could really go for a shower right now.

However, he’s not done as he gives you a final pump, further mixing his semen with the raw egg before he removes his softening cock, crouches down, and lifts you up higher by your thighs.

You’re too fucked out to immediately react, but you widen your eyes when you realize what he’s about to do.

He licks a stripe through your pussy, tasting your arousal on his tongue. “You taste so fucking good.” he moans.

“What are you doing?” you question, using the little strength you have left to look behind you, meeting his eyes.

He can see the look in your eyes, see you’re surprised because you know what he’s about to do. So he smirks. That fucker smirks.

“I’m about to enjoy my breakfast.”

He takes his two fingers and gathers up the cum and egg dripping out of your hole, shoving it back in and pumping a few times before removing his fingers and replacing them with his tongue.

You gasp out, not believing he was actually eating your ass hole right after fucking an egg into you.

“Mmmm,” he hums into your backside.

Uncontrollable moans leave your mouth as he licks you clean, standing up shortly after and lightly slapping your ass.

You stand up, legs wobbly, and you have to grib the edge of the breakfast bar to stop your knees from giving out.

Jungkook felt good seeing you like this, knowing he was the cause and reason. It boosted his ego and he felt like the luckiest guy in the world.

“You’re nasty as shit,” you spit, turning around to face him while your hands still gripped the counter. However, you had a smirk on your lips showing Jungkook that you didn’t really mean it.

He chuckles, giving you a raise of his eyebrow.

“Well you didn’t seem to think so when you were begging for me to touch you.”

You roll your eyes, “You know that I love the way you fuck me.”

He walks up to you, hands sliding over your arms leaving goosebumps on your skin. He looks down at you and you look up, staring into each other’s eyes.

“I wouldn’t mind having my breakfast like that again in the future,” he smirks, “because I think scrambled eggs just became my new favorite.”

#fanfic #bts #btssmut #bts smut #bts jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook #jungkooksmut #egg #eggs #crack fic #bts au #smut

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honoviadakai · 3 months

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Rating Hazbin Hotel Characters based on how much I'd trust them to do a coffee run 🏨😈🎶👼

Charlie🎶🏨:

8/10

ah sweet Charlie

Dear sweet Charlotte

She would bend over backwards just to get you a cup of coffee, and that might be the main root of the problem

First of all, If 1 person asks her for coffee, everyone gets something. Everyone.

She's also gonna be a little overbearing

She means well, she really does

But if you only order something like a simple, small black coffee, be prepare to be brought a large black coffee, 2 large Frappes, a breakfast sandwich, a salad and a yogurt bowl

She's sweet but she be doing to much fr

Vaggie 🗡️🦋:

9/10

Vaggie is one of the best people in hell/the hotel you can ask to go on a coffee run for you

She's gonna go in, grab your order and get out asap

Where she loses a point is that she might accidentally get distracted by something she saw in a shop window that reminded her of Charlie

You can't even be that mad tbh cuz like...it is a cute outfit that she got for her XD

Other than the occasional distractions, she gets your order correct most of the time so shes a solid and trustworthy option

Alastor🦌📻:

-10/10

....No

Don't ask him to do any favors for you

Even an innocent coffee run might bite you in the ass later

And that's assuming he even get you what you asked in the first place!

He's either gonna bring you what asked for and be really ominous about there possibly being poison in your drink(9/10 probably poisoned it 💀)

He's not bringing you anything

There is very little in between with him

He's also gonna high key judge you depending on what you order

He honestly might just get you a cup of black coffee instead of what you wanted because "It's the ✨proper✨ thing to have" 🙄

Angel Dust🕷️💕:

5/10

Listen...He means well but you can't trust him to get your order right sometimes

Hell, sometimes he'll bring you a half drunk drink cuz he just couldn't resist taking a sip 🤦🏻

He’s probably gonna forget what you asked for halfway to the café tbh

If he’s not feeling lazy he’ll call/text you and ask you to repeat your order

If he’s feeling lazy….may the odds be ever in your favor

It’s better to go with him tbh

He’ll even making it a day for the two of you

I mean who doesn’t wanna go shopping with this guy?🛍️😎

Husk🐈‍⬛🥃:

10/10

This man may be an alcoholic but he’s got job security for a reason!(Aside from, you know…Alastor 💀)

Memorizing orders is part of a bartender’s job so he’s gonna have your order memorized after you’ve said it once

He might complain but he’s out the door pretty quick for someone who just said he’d rather eat lead than go grab coffee for you XD

He also comes back quickly too

Mans does not mess around

He’s got a task to complete and he’s gonna do it asap so he can get back to the bar damn it! 😤

Efficient old kitty is efficient

Niffty🪡🐞:

2/10

…..I love this woman to death but I feel like trusting her to get you coffee is a death sentence…

If you see her preparing a coffee in the Hotel’s kitchen, go ahead and trust it, it’s probably pretty good

But sending her off to a café….

Best case scenario, she stabbed someone for their order because it was exactly what you asked for

Worse case scenario….the entire coffee goes up in flames because someone upset Nifty….

Please…for everyone’s safety….get it yourself

Sir Pentious🐍🥚:

3/10

He’s a leggless golden retriever and you know it

He’s gonna agree to get you your coffee with 1000% enthusiasm

This is gonna go down 1 of 2 ways…

Option 1: egg boys

Don’t let them go

Lord only knows when they’ll be back

They will deadass come back at 3am with a cheeseburger and 5 packs of ranch

No coffee…

Option 2: Snake boy

This option…is at least more likely to get you some coffee

Here’s the problem….

Pentious is a smart guy…sometimes…

And for some reason, he just can’t seem to remember your order

So by the time he gets to the café’s doors, your order is forgotten

And instead of maybe calling or texting you…he slithers ALLLLLLL the way back to ask you what you wanted….

Please just go with him….let him feel like he’s doing a good job

Please 🙏

#Hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #alastor #alastor the radio demon #angel dust #angel dust hazbin hotel #Husk #Husker #hazbin hotel husk #Nifty #hazbin hotel niffty #sir pentious

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vidavalor · 21 days

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Ok fine, I brought milk and chocolate chip cookies this time 🥛 🍪 and also some eggs from my lovely chickens! 🐓 🥚

I hope you accept this apology, and I’ll try my best to behave 😜

So, I wonder how you interpret 1.03 where, just before the flood, one of the unicorns makes a run for it and Crawley says ‘you still got one of them’? Some people seem to believe this means she didn’t understand the process of procreation (at the time). Do you have any thoughts on that?

Please don't behave. Why would you want to do that? Would make this all very boring lol. 😂 Thank you for the very fun ask. I love this question.💕

I think the scene you're talking about is more than a funny aside about whether or not Crowley had finished reading Demon's Guide to Reproduction of Beings on Earth yet... and that might not be the question the scene is really asking. I think it also has a ton to do with the Final Fifteen of 2.06, too, so *slices pie* let's get into the unicorns and the professional midwife/cobbler and what, imo, these two moments have to do with one another:

In S1, in the scene set just before the beginning of The Flood, we have two questions emerge from Crowley's dialogue, both of which are then picked up again in S2. One is what Crowley meant by "kids" when he said "you can't kill kids" after looking at a group containing both small goats and children. The second question is the one you're talking about, which is whether or not he understood at the time how human reproduction works. The question is born out of the fact that, on the surface, he might appear to not exactly be grasping the concept of Noah's Ark when he says that Shem's "still got one of them" after one of the pair of unicorns takes off and doesn't get on the boat. Both things show back up together again in S2 in the Job minisode and that sort of continuation of story, in a way, might suggest that there's going to be a third layer to this that emerges in S3 as well. I think, though, that we might have enough to look at some potential answers already.

While the "kids" bit is, essentially, answered and was always more of a language joke anyway-- Crowley wishes to kill no kids, be them goats or humans-- the fact that this question returned in S2 and was tied once again with a plot centered around sex and reproduction shows that the questions raised in The Flood scene in S1 are interrelated and pretty important overall. The entire Job plot ultimately comes down to who knows what about human reproduction. Saving the kids comes down to fooling Gabriel and fooling Gabriel can only be done because Gabriel, at least at the time, did not have the first clue how human reproduction normally works. He had only seen this one, initial, very atypical version of it that has basically never happened since and because he didn't spend time on Earth at that point in the story, he didn't know he had it all wrong. This whole story is built around what someone's understanding of reproduction of another species is and it isn't Crowley who doesn't know how it all works by 2500 B.C., it's Gabriel. But what does this have to do with The Flood and Crowley and the unicorns?

In the Job minisode, we are told that Gabriel was in The Garden at the start of it and witnessed Eve's birth from Adam's rib. We find this hilarious because we know that this isn't how sex works and this time, in this scene, Crowley is more than in on the joke with us. What makes the scene funny is actually Crowley's knowledge in it of how human sex and reproduction work. Unlike Gabriel, he wasn't there for Eve's super-weird birth and so he's visibly trying not to be like what the actual fuck? this is how Eve was made? at Aziraphale as Aziraphale's gestures lead Crowley to telling Sitis to pull out one of Job's ribs-- absolutely not a feature of any sex Crowley has ever had or seen. Aziraphale then is flirting with a Crowley who totally gets the joke when Sitis pulls the ox ribs "out" of Job. It's very evident between this scene and the prior night in the cellar that, circa 2500 B.C. at least, Crowley absolutely knew how human sex and reproduction worked.

The key bit here to understanding what Crowley was saying about the unicorns back during The Flood is actually in the reminder in the Job minisode about The Garden that the minisode gives us through making the plot equally about what Gabriel saw in The Garden-- Eve's weird conception and birth-- but also about what Gabriel didn't see-- Adam and Eve have more human-typical sex-- which is something that Crowley set into motion and then something that he and Aziraphale both witnessed.

By bringing up how Gabriel doesn't know what human sex and reproduction normally look like because of what he saw (and missed) in The Garden of Eden, the show is also reminding us that, after Gabriel left, Crowley was sent up into The Garden and tempted Eve into eating the apple. Eve then shared the apple with Adam. Adam and Eve figured out sex not long after that, during a period of time in which both Aziraphale and Crowley were also in The Garden and Eve's pregnancy was one of Aziraphale's motivations for giving them his flaming sword.

Mah point is that Crowley absolutely knew about sex and sexual reproduction during The Flood because Crowley and Aziraphale essentially watched the first humans have sex on Earth in The Garden of Eden.

The show also has about a half-dozen jokes about Anthony J. "Can I watchchch?" Crowley's voyeuristic tendencies and roots some of it to the fact that he's the Serpent of Eden and gets off on watching his temptation labors bear fruit. (It's been a long day. I have earned that joke😂). Ya know, such as:

This whole unicorn and sex thing is also part of the Job minisode by way of the ox ribs, further making it all kind of part of the same story. The inclusion of unicorns in ancient history in GO feels like a nod to the re'em, an animal mentioned a few times in The Bible (including in The Book of Job), which has been frequently translated as "unicorn" and is part of the origin for from where our idea of unicorns comes in the first place. The same word has been translated as meaning other animals-- among them? The wild ox.

Making things even more interesting is unicorn lore. The unicorn was said to be a wild, secretive creature who lived in the forest and who could only ever be captured and tamed by a virgin maiden. Aziraphale, in 2500 B.C., is shown to not eat or drink before the night in the cellar began so odds are also good on the food-and-alcohol = sex show that Aziraphale definitely qualified as a virgin maiden when he went to absolute town on those ox ribs. Anyway...

...what I'm saying here is that it feels extremely unlikely that, by the time of The Flood in 3,004 B.C., that Crowley didn't know how human sex and reproduction worked when he saw it play out in The Garden. Other than Eve's speedy stages of pregnancy meant to get the ball rolling on humanity, Adam and Eve's sex was typical of humans. So, Crowley knew about sex and sexual reproduction when he made the comment about the unicorns... but then how does that make sense, right?

In order to think that Crowley didn't know how reproduction works during The Flood scene we've seen, you would have to assume two things are true: 1) that unicorns reproduce via sexual reproduction and 2) that unicorns went extinct as a result of one of them making a run for it and not making it onto Noah's Ark, right?

The thing is... the show might be subtly trying to show that unicorns do still exist in GO. But before you say 'but, Vida, seriously?! We've never seen an unicorn after The Flood!', I'm going to argue that maybe we actually have one as a major supporting character and this S2 scene might be hinting in that direction:

The parallel to the "Oi, Shem!" scene is Nina-as-Crowley telling Aziraphale-as-Shem that that unicorn (The Bentley) is running of its own accord. Unicorns are magical beings. How magical beings present, as God pointed out in S1, is up to them. Human forms are just one option, right? I don't know exactly where this is going but this bit in S2 was a direct tie to The Flood's unicorn moment and it would explain a thing or two about Chitty Chitty Bang Bang if it were somehow tied to the unicorns. Can Crowley actually make them, the way Beez can make flies? Can Aziraphale? We really have no idea how the unicorn thing works in GO so we can't really use it as an example that Crowley didn't know about sex when it's more that we don't know about unicorns...

The unicorn that we saw during The Flood tracked with what we think of as the mythical being of an unicorn in our real world so we could make the assumption that some of the same aspects of them are/were true in GO. Unicorns are magical horse/donkey-like beings (which couldn't possibly be more Crowley and Aziraphale if it tried.) They are few and far between, are hard to spot and mostly keep to themselves. Human beings have no real actual proof that they ever existed in the first place and generally consider them mythical beings but Good Omens shows us that they at least did exist in GO ancient times-- and might still. In modern times, unicorns have become a LGBTQIA+ symbol and, for that reason and that reason alone, it seems unlikely that they actually went extinct in the world of *Good Omens*...

So, let's presume that Crowley said the existence of unicorns would continue even if Shem only had one of them on Noah's Ark because he knows that unicorns are not like other beings on Earth. Think about what else Crowley is then saying here with this line to Shem:

Noah's Ark, to us, is a story about continuing the existence of life for beings on Earth, right? It's about pairs, about mates, for the purpose of continuing species on earth via sexual reproduction. That's why we consider what Crowley's saying in this moment of this scene through the lens of it being entirely about sexual reproduction. When it comes to the unicorns, though, you could argue that Crowley is not actually talking about reproduction but about romance. We don't actually know how unicorns work-- but Crowley does.

What Crowley is actually telling us in this scene is that paired unicorns can survive the death of one of them because they're a part of each other. What Crowley is actually saying is that the pair of mated unicorns in the scene are two beings who share a single existence.

You couldn't permanently kill one of a pair of unicorns without killing both of them. So long as one of them still exists, they both do.

One unicorn could make a run for it for any reason and bolt away from his mate and die in the storm but Crowley knew the bolting unicorn was a part of the one that Shem got on the boat and so could be brought back.

In S2, we see something like this with other magical beings-- Ineffable Bureaucracy.

Oi, Shem, that purple-eyed unicorn's gonna make a run for it...

It's too late, too late...

Oh, well, you've still got one of them...

The Fly is Gabriel and Beez together; it's their shared existence. Without it, Gabriel would not have survived. The one of them still left-- Beez-- is the one who can put it together and bring Gabriel back into a full existence.

Ineffable Bureaucracy are unicorns who parallel our main two, though, and Oi, Shem...

...that bow-tied unicorn's gonna make a run for it...

Oh, well, you've still got one of them...

#ineffable husbands #good omens #good omens meta #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow

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ravenmichaelisstuff · 1 year

Text

Easter Special??? Kind of?? A funny little thing inspired by a anonymous request 💕

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚗-𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝙱𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚊𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 ♥︎

✰✰✰✰

Task Force 141 paints some eggs 🥚🥚 (minus Price)

Ghost didn't think he'd ever end up painting eggs on Price's orders. ON PRICE'S ORDER. But here he was, painting tiny chicks in skull masks to best to his efforts.

His whole morning was a very... peculiar start to the day. He woke up to his alarm, changed from his pyjama pants and everything was normal- except one thing.

When he went to put on his boots he felt something round with his foot inside the shoe. Ghost fucking yelped the moment his foot touched it because his first thought was- snake egg. Some fucking leg-less lizard got into his room and laid an egg in his damn shoe!

Was that embarrassing that he just yeeted the shoe across his room the moment that crossed his mind? Yes. Was he a fully grown man? A soldier? Yes. But he was still scared shitless of snakes. He had his reasons.

He took a deep breath and decided to get a grip.

He nudged the shoe with a broomstick, from like two meters away.

Ghost relaxed when instead of a soft shell snake egg, a chocolate one, wrapped in colourful foil rolled out. He left the broom alone and picked up the chocolate egg.

He didn't need to think long to know who did that. Soap was the last person in his room the previous day and there is no way someone else snuck into his room at night without him breaking their necks. It had to be Soap and he is gonna pay for humbling Ghost's masculinity.

He still popped the chocolate into his mouth though. He had a sweet tooth and it looked like a good kind of chocolate. He had to.

The lieutenant finally put his boot on and walked out of his room. His plan was to hunt Soap down and make him suffer, but then his stomach decided to growl. It was so loud that a private passing by gave him a surprised look before quickly averting his eyes.

He took a turn and headed for the kitchen used mostly by the 141.

In the kitchen sat Gaz enjoying cereal.

"Good morning, Lieutanant."

"Mornin', sergeant." Ghost nodded and busied himself with making a sandwich.

"Any plans to go on leave?" Gaz asked. Ghost noticed that the man was significantly less reserved around him those days- trying to keep up a conversation, asking how his day was. It was nice since not so long ago everyone except Price and Soap were rather... not eager to converse with Ghost. Assuming he doesn't want to be spoken to and that he is always angry.

Which yeah- talking with random people wasn't his thing. Small talk made his skin crawl, never knowing what to say. But he enjoyed listening to what people had to say or just existing around someone, doing his own thing in someone's presence. It made him feel normal.

And when he had that with Soap and Price, it was pleasant to see Kyle warm up to him as well. Maybe that's because he himself warmed up to the man.

"Why would I go on leave?" Ghost said still focused on his bread.

"With Easter just around the corner, I thou-"

Ghost turned to face Gaz. "Easter?"

Well, now the surprise in his shoe made a little bit more sense.

Gaz made a face ready to judge Ghost on his unawareness when Soap entered the kitchen with a bag in his hand.

"We are painting eggs today!" Soap exclaimed, childish excitement buzzing off of him.

"I will kill you for that egg in my shoe." Ghost said sternly, playing with the butter knife in his hand. He probably didn't look intimidating at all or he just lost that effect on Soap judging by the way Soap just smiled his way.

"Oh, you are not the only one. I found an egg in my hat and cracked the chocolate on my head." Gaz crossed his arms.

"Could have put a real egg." The Scot snickered.

Gaz flipped him a bird.

"What do you mean we are painting eggs?" Ghost asked, stopping the sergeants from bantering.

Soap wordlessly started unpacking his bag, putting various dyes and paints on the table. Gaz blinked a few times, trying to understand how this overgrown child got into the military. While Ghost was ready to just head out, food was forgotten because this was just too ridiculous for such an early hour.

"You can't leave. If you leave you are refusing an order, Lt." Soap blocked the doors, smirking.

"Since when are you my superior, sergeant?"

"Not mine order- Price's." Soap waved a fucking printed-out order to paint at least one egg per person SIGNED by Price. Ghost knew Price's signature and this was authentic.

He snatched the paper from Soap and showed it to Gaz.

"How?! How the fuck did you get him to sign this." Kyle shared the same question with Ghost.

"Thanks to my winning smile and a wonderful personality?" Both men looked at Soap unimpressed. Soap pouted. "I talked to him about this for a whole week. Convinced him that it will be a great bonding activity OR he just wanted me to shut up about it."

"So the latter." Ghost said in unison with Garrick.

o***o

So there they were, painting eggs to their best efforts because at some point the whole thing turned into a competition of who will paint the prettiest one.

Looking at the very detailed egg Johnny was working on he is a clear winner, but he would be lying if he said this wasn't enjoyable. Experiencing the activity he never got to do as a child, spending time with his teammates- friends. Hearing Soap's laughter as he jokes with Gaz about something.

It wasn't so bad.

Please don't treat this seriously, I just wanted to have something goofy for the Easter time <3 Sorry for all the mistakes and I hope someone enjoyed it! Love ya all <3

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iwonderwh0 · 3 months

Note

What is a random scene you would have liked to have seen in canon?

0. Markus converting machine Connor / Connor having no choice but to deviate on his own due to SI reaching some peak, without a choice to remain non-deviant

I don't like the scene with him "become deviant/stay a machine". It's the most underwhelming while also most awaited scene of the game that could have been better, whether by having a scene that shows Markus converting him (slipping into his memories through an interface and making it a combined effort in breaking those walls for him) or through some kind of emotional shock (maybe later in the game)

If there is a scenario in which he has no choice but to remain a machine, there should have been the opposite. Markus vs Connor fight scene being only available in machine route is a crime.

1. HANK DECIDING NOT TO THROW CONNOR DOWN THAT ROOF 💯

I hate hate hate how that's the only decision he can make while Connor can decide to change his mind on this. I mean, I get it, but also, I wish there was a way for Connor to turn deviant somewhere during or after this scene. And I know there are people (exactly one lol) who'll fucking bite me for that and call me a stupid mf but Yeah, I want that

"You're a machine, Connor. Just a machine"

Well, there could have been literally no choice for Connor to become anything else, and you're a fucking hypocrite

1.1 OR Connor throwing himself off that roof like he does with Allen, but it being like

Hank: "<...> But humans don't come back, do they?"

Connor: "No, they don't. But I will."

2. Connor calling Hank out on his bullshit after shooting Chloe (previously being shot himself)

The fact that we can Never call him up on his hypocrisy is ANNOYING. I want to rub it back at him.

3. Markus(maybe together with North) meeting Kamski

Being presented with a test, but turning the gun on Kamski, or instead stretching a hand to help Chloe up (while converting), then handing the gun to her to decide.

I want a reverse-kamski test.

4. Alice saying Kara who she is when they're at Rose.

Get rid of that stupid fucking policeman scene and finally make it about Alice and Kara. And remove that stupid twist about her "knowing all along"

5. Jericrew members each talking about their past and how they got to Jericho first chapter they're introduced.

Not only North (although she might be the one who reveals her story later, like she does in canon)

6. Amanda showing more appealing traits making the player like her (more).

Making her look reasonable and trustworthy, not only strict and chronically disappointed to the point where status "betrayed" makes the player celebrate instead of going "oh, I think I might have fucked up". I don't have a specific scene in mind for this, just a general vibe.

7. EGG CONNOR 🥚

Show me. At least one scene, I'm begging. I don't know the context, whether it's Markus's final speech where EVERYONE is taking their skin off (please, why isn't it real), or maybe he himself turns it off to make a point, perhaps in response to Hank's whining about "what are you really" and him going skinless looking him dead in the eyes and going "a machine" or actually not saying anything, turning the skin off is enough of a power-move that doesn't require more words to be said out loud.

8. RA9 obsession among at least one of the protagonists. How is that they're all immune to that?

I don't know if I'd like it to be played along with RA9 = the player with some of them breaking the fourth wall and saying something like "RA9, help me" looking straight into the camera, or for it to be something completely different but idk, I really wish something could have been done about it. Perhaps it being a password needed to break the walls/escape the garden?

9. Appearance of current CyberLife CEO on the news or if not CEO then SOMEONE who's currently working in that company.

How is it possible that we only see Kamski who had been away from CyberLife for years and know absolutely nothing about who's currently in charge? Show usss, let them say something publicly.

10. More Perkins scenes.

Let him live his villain era to the fullest. Perhaps making him machine Connor's new partner after he's out of the DPD. I wanna see the two of them working together in order to achieve common goal of stopping Markus.

I think I'm forgetting something...ah YES (ignore the order, it means little about the significance of those non-existent scenes)

11. Markus crying during the revolution

Not only when Carl dies. (Why is it more soul-crushing for him than the death of his friend or lover?)

I can never understand how could they create a scene where Simon/North is literally giving him their heart and him taking it with barely any visible emotion. And in general, the way Markus can loose all of them, every single one of them, and never tear up. FUCK, let him SOB

If not here, make him have tears during his final speech or close to the end of it. From all the weight from recent events and grieve accumulated over the time of the game to the point where it's not possible to contain it in a stoic way. He's not a damn captain Picard to take everything with a strict frown.

Okay. I feel like I'm forgetting something, but it's a solid list already.

Thank you for the ask! Fuming about scenes that don't exist but could have been cool is never getting old with this game...

#dbh #detroit become human #dbh connor #dbh hank #dbh kara #dbh alice #dbh markus

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nonbinary-sticks-the-badger · 4 months

Text

ive already said this about tails (the post is on main so you wont find it) but i like to think all the characters who dont fit the typical mobian naming structure of 'blank the animal' (excluding characters like trip, fang, bean etc) were raised by humans in some manor. tails was adopted by a human mother who wanted a human child, hence his issues; amy was raised by humans, which is why she fits into human society and actively lives in it a lot of the time; charmy was named by humans who wanted to embrace and respect his mobian heritage but got it slightly wrong.

starline WASNT raised by humans, but wanted to pick a more human-sounding name to get around easily and possibly to impress THE EGG 🗣️‼️💥🥚🥚🥚.

#sonic #miles tails prower #amy rose #charmy bee #platypussy (starline tag (i hate him))

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saltydumplings · 1 year

Note

I DONT THINK YOU UNDERSTAND BUT IM LITRALLY OBSSESSED WITH SNIPPET 17

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WRITE ANOTHER PART

OH AND HERES ANOTHER ICECREAM 🍦

-Anon egg 🥚

Snippet #17.3

Part 3

This took me...so goddamn long. But it's finally here. THE SPICE HAS ARRIVED. (Also sorry if there are any mistakes, I may or may not have rushed the editing a bit in my excitement oop--)

Cw: SUGGESTIVE, SPICY, HOT HOT PEPPERS.

The henchman's ears were burning. In fact, their whole face was burning - cheeks growing pinker by the second as they listened to the conversation that was happening just a few steps away from them. At first they'd tried to ignore it but it was impossible: they were in the same room - no matter how quietly their superiors spoke they'd still be able hear every word.

"Very well behaved... you wouldn't believe some of the sounds they can make...eager to please...especially good when it comes to using their mouth..."

The hero's whispered praise had them fidgetting on the spot, the comments going straight to their head and, admittedly, other more...private places.

They straightened their back the second they heard the two's chatter come to an end, the villain's footsteps slowly returning to them.

Was this really happening?

Sleeping with the hero was one thing but the villain? It was like a dream - had been a dream for so long even though they hadn't fully realised it at the time. They clasped their hands together tighter in their lap, their mind flooded with excitement and nerves and lust and something else that was warm and fuzzy and making their heart run a damn marathon while their legs stayed trapped beneath them.

It all stopped when the villain touched them though. When they combed their fingers through the henchman's hair before trailing downwards, capturing the henchman's chin and tilting their gaze up in one soft motion.

"Henchman..."

The villain's eyes were darker than they had ever seen them. Beautiful and tempting, the power they possessed in that moment sending a rush of warmth throughout the henchman's body.

"Villain," they replied, waiting for direction.

"Boots off. Get on the bed."

The henchman did it instantly, sliding off their shoes and placing them neatly to the side before climbing up onto a mattress that they already knew from experience to be soft as sin itself. They knelt at its centre, cheeks flushed as they watched the villain removing their own shoes along with their cape, tossing the items carelessly to the floor. As the bed dipped beneath the villain's weight, the henchman's gaze fluttered off to the side, settling briefly onto the hero who simply grinned back at them - one hand already dipping lazily below the hem of their pants.

A hand caught the henchman's chin once more.

"Eyes on me," the villain said, voice accompanied by the slightest hint of a growl.

The henchman corrected their mistake immediately, blushing when the villain's free hand came to rest around their neck.

"You've been keeping secrets from me, love...How long did you intend to hide it?"

The henchman swallowed, unconconsciously trying to lean in closer only to have the villain hold them back. "I-In my defence," they said, "I didn't really know until, w-well," their eyes flicked to the hero and back, "recently..."

They couldn't have hidden the small movement from the villain if they tried. The other caught the meaning behind it instantly, lips curling up into a teasing grin as they shuffled closer - the hand on the henchman's chin now falling down to squeeze at their thigh.

"Jealous?" the villain asked.

The hue of the henchman's cheeks darkened. "N-No..."

The villain chuckled. "Lying to me, pet? I'd have thought that after all these years you'd have known to behave better than that."

A small gasp escaped the henchman's lips as they were suddenly pushed back, the villain shifting their weight onto them seamlessly as they pinned them in place. For a second, their grip on the henchman's neck tightened before loosening again.

"I'll let it go though," the villain said, "just for tonight: you're not the only one who's been lying..."

The henchman knew that. Had known it for a few hours now after the hero had told them but still the admission left them too stunned for words. Thankfully, for what the villain had in mind, speaking wasn't required.

The villain leant down tantalisingly slow, gaze dropping to the henchman's lips and staying there for a second before they finally acted.

The kiss was so much softer than the henchman thought it would be. The villain started with a simple, light peck before gradually forming it into something more - their tongue grazing lovingly along the henchman's lower lip until the other opened up with a small hum, tilting their head back to help deepen it only to have the villain pull away again. They smirked, hands pressing down upon the henchman's shoulders.

"Want more?"

"Please," the henchman said, leaning up and immediately being pushed back down.

"Aw, begging already?" the villain teased. "Hero was right, you truly are touch-starved."

Their hand reached up to the top button of the henchman's shirt and popped it open, tracing the small triangle of skin they'd revealed before trailing their fingers up again - touch featherlight as they ran a path up the henchman's collar and neck and then over their chin, the pad of their thumb stroking at their subordinate's lower lip.

The henchman's breath hitched and their own hands reached out, desperate to hold onto anything. First they clutched the sheets in a rush but soon they found something better: the villain's thighs were warm to the touch, even under the thick fabric of their fighting suit; the muscles there tense even though the other looked relaxed, firmly intent on keeping the henchman pinned beneath them.

"But don't worry, pet," the villain continued, hands now setting upon a different course of action as they travelled back down, "I'll give you all the attention you could possibly want. The only catch is--" The villain's hands gripped their wrists and brought them up, pinning the henchman's hands above their head all too soon "--you won't be able to return the favour."

Within seconds, the henchman's expression went from awe to a small pout. They squirmed a little, daring to test the villain's strength.

"That's not fair," they said.

The villain's lips quirked upwards, eyes glinting in a way that the henchman knew meant nothing but trouble. "I know," the villain agreed. Then they leant down a little, breath ghosting across the shell of the henchman's ear as they lowered their voice. "But you want to be good for me, don't you?"

Very, very unfair.

Of course the henchman wanted to be good for the villain - pleasing their superior was one of their favourite hobbies! They were an overachiever by nature and the villain knew that!

But they also wanted to touch them so, so badly.

Conflicted, the henchman struggled a little more, eyes pleading. "N-No..."

The villain's brows rose up in surprise. "No?" they mimicked.

The henchman simply flushed, unable to bring themself to say it again.

"You wouldn't disobey me now, would you Henchman?"

They quickly shook their head - of course they wouldn't!

"Oh, so you'll be good and stay just like this?" the villain said.

Again, the henchman pouted. "But that--"

"It's your choice: you either be good for me or I'll make you be good for me. And the latter one doesn't come with a reward," the villain stated, gripping the henchman's wrists just a little tighter.

Reward?

In the corner of the room, they heard the hero let out a soft huff. "I never get any rewards," they muttered.

"That's because you never earn them," the villain retorted. "Now hush, or you can spend the rest of our time watching the wall."

The hero grumbled but soon quietened once more, the henchman biting down on their lip as the villain's gaze settled back on them.

"Well?" they said. "Will you be good?"

Knowing their options - very unfair options - the choice wasn't all that hard anymore.

The henchman finally let themself relax into the villain's hold, giving a small nod of their head.

The villain grinned. "Use your words, pet."

Fuck, the villain hadn't even properly started yet and already the henchman felt like melting on the spot - blushing harder than they ever had before.

"Yes," they said.

"Yes what?"

Any more of this the henchman was sure they might just combust. "Y-Yes: I'll be good."

"Good." With that the villain released them, trusting the henchman to keep their hands above them whilst the villain's own travelled downwards.

It took all of the henchman's effort not to reach up immediately; not to be greedy and take whatever was within reach before the villain stopped them again. That reward better be worth it. Any more teasing and the henchman wasn't sure they'd be able to control themself.

Unlike them, the villain was able to act on their impulses.

"You have no idea how long I've waited for this," they whispered, placing a kiss upon the henchman's neck and tracing the small metal ring at the centre of their collar, admiring it. "No idea how long I've dreamt of taking off this stupid uniform."

The second button of their shirt was popped open, quickly followed by the third. The henchman tilted their head back, giving the villain better access to their neck and moaning lowly when the other didn't waste any time in exploiting it - nipping and licking at the sensitive skin. After a second they leant back up for another kiss, claiming the henchman's mouth once more with their own. They were rougher this time, tongue exploring deeper while their fingers worked on opening up the fourth button, pausing in their administrations briefly to pull the fabric aside and stare down at the henchman's now exposed chest and--

They stopped.

The henchman let out a small questioning sound as they felt the villain stiffen above them, attempting to tilt their head down to see what was happening only to have a hand grip their jaw and push them back. Content they would stay, the villain's grip retracted and another slow second passed... The henchman practically squeaked when their shirt was suddenly ripped open, buttons flying off to the side and the fabric torn as the villain growled, fingers tracing over something on the henchman's chest that they couldn't see.

"Hero," the villain said.

Oh.

Oh no.

The henchman remembered exactly what the problem was now.

They flushed, fidgetting a little as they tried to hide but the villain wouldn't let them - stilling their moving hips in an instant and holding them there, keeping the marks the hero had given them on full display.

"Just a few more...Villain will love this."

The hero had lied: the villain looked downright wrathful.

"Hero," the villain repeated.

"Hm?"

"I've changed my mind."

The hero's reluctance to respond had been playful before but their pause now suggested differently - the silence of the room intense and heavy, the only thing breaking it being the henchman's small gasp when the villain unexpectedly brushed their fingers over the sensitive skin of their chest.

"About what?" the hero asked.

"I think you know what," the other answered, their one hand shifting to play with the henchman's left nipple and causing them to jolt in surprise whilst their attention remained on the hero. A few seconds passed and their right hand travelled up to occupy the henchman's mouth - fingers pushing past their lips and settling onto their tongue almost boredly, muffling the small whine that was escaping them along with any defence for the other that they might have had.

The hero whined on their behalf. "But you said--"

"And I changed my mind." They gave the henchman's right nipple the same treatment, teasing and rubbing until the other squirmed - the henchman feeling like they were the one being punished for the hero's actions instead. "As far as I'm concerned, you've had your share of fun today, love. You'll be lucky if denial is the worst punishment I give you tonight."

A huff. From where they were laying, the henchman could just about make out the hero moving their hands to their sides - the simple change clearly challenging for them. The henchman idly wondered how far along they'd brought themself before the villain had decided to deny them.

"Mean," the hero grumbled.

"What was that?" the villain asked.

"I said they're getting impatient."

That definitely was not what the hero had said. But it didn't make it any less true.

The villain's fingers were still teasing them relentlessly, though at the hero's comment they stilled. The henchman flushed as their mouth became empty once more, their superior's attention returning to them swiftly at the suggestion.

"That true, pet?" The villain stroked their cheeks softly, voice a low, teasing coo. "Are you getting impatient?"

Yes, the henchman thought. But instead they bit their lip and shook their head, wanting to please the villain in the hopes it would make them go faster.

It didn't.

"Good," the villain said. Their hands trailed back down, slow and content as ever as they traced over each hickey they came across - sometimes pressing down softly as if they were counting them. "We have a long night ahead and, thanks to Hero, I have to go over every single one of these marks until I'm convinced that they're mine. After that, well...your tasks for tomorrow don't involve much walking, do they?"

No, maybe. The henchman didn't care when the villain's lips were already pressing at a spot just below their collarbone, tongue carefully working over already marked skin. How many hickies had the hero given them? How long would it take for the villain to go over them all? They clutched the sheets above them, willing themself to stay still and think of something else before they lost their mind over how slow the villain was going.

What were they doing tomorrow? Paperwork? They usually did errand runs for their superior on Tuesdays too but something told them that the other might just let them off.

The villain finally finished with their first mark, quickly moving down to start work on a second. For a moment, the henchman lost their focus and let go of the sheets as the villain's hands groped at their thighs and waist, blatantly touching when they knew the henchman couldn't. Their arms hitched up very slightly before they remembered themself, forcing them back down against the bed once more, thankful that the villain hadn't noticed.

Then they remembered they were being watched...

They tilted their head to the side fractionally, wide eyes locking onto the hero's all too easily. The other smiled at them.

Please don't tell, the henchman thought.

The hero opened their mouth slowly, taunting, the henchman shaking their head as subtly as they could whilst begging with their eyes. It was just one little slip up - surely they could let it pass.

Please. Please.

The hero shut their mouth and leant back in the seat with a small wink, the henchman almost sighing in relief but letting out a small moan instead when the villain's teeth scraped against their skin. They let their gaze return to the ceiling, thankful they wouldn't be caught out so soon. That wouldn't be the end of it though: no, the hero was bound to hold this over them later. Not to mention, should they slip up again, the henchman had no doubts that the other would tell on them.

And that was why they needed to focus. Why they needed to be good.

Errands and paperwork, errands and paperwork...

The villain stooped down lower, sucking on a mark just below their waist.

Errands and paperwork. Errands. And paperwork...

The henchman wished the villain would go further. Felt tempted to buck their hips in the hopes it would convince them to do something more but they knew that was dangerous thinking.

They had to be good. They had to think about errands. And paperwork.

Errands.

The villain was touching their thighs again.

Paperwork.

They were touching everywhere that was so close and yet so far from where they wanted the attention most.

Errands and paperwork. Errands--

Please.

They could feel the other's mouth dragging down lower, hands trailing up.

--Paperwork. Errands and paperwork. Paperwork and - please - errands. Errands and - s-so close - and paperwork and errands and a meeting and--

A meeting?

The henchman gasped as the villain's fingers traced over their clothed sex, mouth licking at another mark on their hip bone...

Was this a bad time to remind their superior that they were meant to be meeting with supervillain tomorrow at nine?

Part 5

#writing snippet #heroxvillain snippet #heroxvillain #hero x villain #villain x henchman #hero x henchman #hero x villain x henchman

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cosmiclion · 3 months

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An egg in the process of cracking 🥚

A design of younger Grell from my AU (she's about 20 here). I changed almost everything from her backstory since I first came up with this AU, notes (that I've been working on for months lol) under the cut.

(Also yes, I hid the hands behind the body because I didn't wanna draw them, don't mention it ☠️).

-Born in February 17th, 1863 in England, in this universe she's not a reaper but she's still not human.

-She's a werecat (I explored the concept for the first time in this post and I liked it so much that I ended up using it for my main AU). While werebeasts have a human form they are 100% nonhuman as the curse that turns someone into one fully alters their DNA. Adults are immune to the curse, which means if an adult gets bitten and survives they won't turn. However, cases of teenagers and younger surviving an attack aren't enough to properly determine up until which age a person can be affected. A child can also be born a werebeast as the curse can be passed to a fetus if a pregnant person gets bitten. The latter is Grell's case, as her mother got attacked during pregnancy.

-While she didn’t actually transform until her early teens, she did show feline traits from the beginning, such as a desire to hunt and chase small animals and moving objects, climbing trees or other structures, hiding in narrow spaces, etc.

-A homeschooled and pretty sheltered only child, with dead maternal grandparents, a dead father, an emotionally distant mother who eventually bailed on her and paternal grandparents who loved and spoiled her but didn’t really understand her on a deep level, Grell grew up angry and frustrated. She had always felt that something wasn't quite right with her, and when she slowly started to experiment to try to figure herself out she had no one to turn to. As a teenager she decided to just run away from home and leave everything behind. She knew she was leaving her grandparents to die alone but she didn’t care, she had never genuinely loved them anyway.

-She chose her own name AND surname, the first after a nickname her German grandparents often called her and the latter after a character from a book she liked.

-Struggles a lot with internalized misogyny thanks to a mix of her mother’s neglect and eventual abandonment and her grandparents only talking shit about said mother whenever they mentioned her, which greatly contributed to shape her views on motherhood and womanhood in general. Would love to have a child of her own but deep down that’s just because of her dysphoria, in reality she has very little patience for kids and is probably not the best parent material.

-Went through a phase of compulsive heterosexuality both when she thought she was a man and also after she realized she was a woman. Figuring out her orientation wasn’t any easier than figuring out her gender but she’s probably bi with a slight preference for men and masculinity in general.

-I still haven't come up with a story for what she does after leaving her home and before the main events, I only have some ideas. Like she's young when she goes out into the world, she's passionate and adventurous but also full of pent up anger. Also there's the small issue of her being a beast with a huge prey drive, being a trans girl in the middle of self discovery is harder when you're also learning about and trying to gain control of (or at least cope with) your literal wild side ☠️ I know that werebeasts' main driving force is hunger, and the longer they go without eating the more they revert back to a feral state. I'm tempted to make her go the serial killer route but in this case she doesn't have much control of her actions 🫢

-Her werecat form is based on a maine coon. When she first starts showing signs of therianthropy she doesn’t have much control of it, and transforming and becoming that big and rough looking makes her more dysphoric (even more so because “male” maine coons are bigger). Over time she starts accepting it and, as she discovers how powerful it makes her and all the things she can do with it and gains control of it, she fully embraces it as an important part of her.

-The only part of her feline form she cannot hide in human form are the teeth, no matter the form she takes she always has sharp fangs. This is a common trait of all werebeasts, some of them are self conscious about it and avoid smiling or opening their mouth at all while others are proud of it and will take any opportunity to flash their teeth at anyone (guess which one is Grell’s case lmao).

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anomalyhqs · 4 months

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DEAR STUDENTS,

‘tis the season indeed, because on top of the usual holiday cheer, today marks exactly one month of anomalyhqs! woohoo! to celebrate, the admin team is releasing a christmas themed ask meme! please REBLOG THIS POST if you’d like to participate, and remember to send a prompt to everyone who’s reblogged this too! as per our rules, ask memes also count towards activity, so we hope this lessens the burden for those of you who are busy celebrating! the admin team would also like to take this time to thank every single one of you for your continued — and may we say, growing! — interest in anomalyhqs, and for making all of this possible! as we have said previously, you are truly the framework of this roleplay, and we couldn’t have done any of this without all of you! thank you for sharing your lovely muses with us, and we hope to see more of it for months and more months to come! but enough yapping — onto the good fun! merry christmas and happy hanukkah to all who celebrate, and as always, stay super! ♡

* 🎁 — CHRISTMAS GIFTS !

aw shucks, you didn’t have to ! it’s a gift to give, and boy does the sender have a present for you! write a short drabble about the gift you’ve gotten the sender ( either the receiver making / shopping for it, thinking of what to get them, or handing it to them! ), or come up with a small playlist or moodboard that best describes the receiver’s relationship with the sender! and before you ask: yes, you can give coal if you really want to!

* 🌿 — UNDER THE MISTLETOE !

ugh, that darn weed ! you’re caught shoulder to shoulder in the doorway with the sender, and the only way to avoid the bad luck is to share your super secret text messages! along with the mistletoe emoji, send 🍒 for the last text the receiver sent to the sender, 🥀 for a 3am drunk text the receiver sent to the sender, and 🎀 for a gossip, true or false, that the receiver almost let slip to a curious current member about the sender!

* ✉️ — LETTERS TO SANTA !

hey santa, what about a gazillion dollars ? sure thing, kid! we’ll hand it to you only if you draft up a totally honest, no nonsense letter to the sender about the receiver’s truest, deepest feelings about them — y’know, the things they’d never be caught dead saying! ever held your tongue? now’s the time to let it loose!

* 🥚 — SPIKED EGGNOG !

oh wow, that’s strong ! the eggnog’s been spiked, but you’ve taken too big a gulp to back out now! senders, along with the egg emoji, send the receiver any question you’re dying to know — we all know that alcohol is the greatest truth serum, and the receiver’s drank too much of it to lie!

* ☃️ — SNOWBALL FIGHT !

hey, who threw that ?! the new season’s coming up, so you know what that means — the new rally’s soon! senders, send in your house loyalty along with the snowman emoji! receivers, if yours is the same, it means the sender’s tagged you into their fight with a bunch of heckling fans from opposing teams! if yours is different — hell, maybe the sender’s the heckling fan after all! write a drabble or highlight reel of how you think the fight will go! sic ‘em!

#nm:meme #happy one month! ♡

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evagora · 1 year

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Hello there! You don’t have to answer this, but I just wanted to say that I love your mini translations of Vegetta clips/moments. I’m an English viewer who watches Foolish and I’ve been trying to catch up on Vegetta’s egg streams but it’s kinda hard with my limited middle school Spanish knowledge. Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that your translations are amazing and super helpful and I hope you do more! 💕❤️🥚

Thank you!

just so you know op, this is actually the first ask i've ever received. you made my day and, because of that, i have a gift for you:

here are three out of the four clips i mentioned in my other post bc i couldn't rewatch Vegetta's vods in school on top of editing this. it's rushed, i can't assure that the subtitles are 100% understandable (i hope they are), and i had to download capcut for this. but at least is here!!

btw,, i love you english speakers that make their best to learn spanish,, so if there's a clip you want to understand but it doesn't have subtitles, send me an ask or a dm with a link or the timestamp and, at the very least, im going to send you a transcription of what is being said.

#esto tmb va para los hispanohablantes que no saben inglés!!#qsmp #vegetta777 #foolish gamers #do they have a duo name or something???

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crazytrolls · 2 months

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Unnamed Trolls AU (Branch Centric)

✨🔮: Crystal

🍵: Trolls 'Humanity' Effect

⏰: Time Effect

👑: Ruler Stuff

🎗: The Strings

🥩: Gore

🥚: Kids and Eggs

🌱: Tree Crystal history

❓: Questioning/Unsure/ Might Change

🌑🎋: Branch

🌻: Smidge

🦙: Cooper

💝: Poppy

Most likely creepy

Animalistic

Much larger then normal Trolls

❓Should they be the only ones to have tails? (Except Country trolls)

🌱✨Feral Pop Trolls with a curse

Most likely a Crystal curse (Under the Dying Pop Trolls Tree but due to the negativity it was slowly syphoning with the wishes and prayers, Despair and desperation of the Pop Trolls a Crystal slowly formed)

🌱✨🍵Many Trolls have claws and tails to help balance because they could not use technology and other things to move forward since it would be destroyed on Trollstice or be targeted by the Burgans and used to find Pop Trolls, so they mostly just climb using their claws and hair and grab things with their tails

This leads to extremely strong leg and arm muscles

🥩Most likely graphic

🥩Most likely bloody

:Stick🌑🎋: Fun fact Branch's Greying and coming in contact with it was what finally tipped the magic scale after he stumbled upon the Crystal (he has kept it since he finds it reminds him of his grandmother) ❓❓❓❓

Might change it to: where he found it while digging in the tunnels to make it safe and was going to give it to her as a birthday gift, saving it and was so happy that day that he started singing which got his Grandma Eaten 🥩(might change it to he gave her it but that was the thing she dropped?)🥩

He wanted to throw away the Crystal a first but didn't because he couldn't dare part with a gift that reminded him of her, especially since he knew they where escaping soon and wanted to take at least one thing with him before then

❓❓❓❓

⏰Transformation happens slowly

🔮⏰It only took 3 years for them all to fully turn only because Branch didn't try to hang around others much especially while feral (✨the closer and more exposed the faster the Transformation)

⏰✨Only Trolls around the crystal at that time where effected

⏰✨Aka No Trolls (who did not spend time around the tree by the time of Branches Greying) changed (Aka Brozone, and half formed PutPut Trolls with Viva)

However- the transformation does stop when enough distance is put between them and the Crystal (Aka Putput Trolls)

⏰🥚Younger Generations don't see King Peppy as their king nor knew him to be their leader over years worth of time before transformation so of course they would challenge him when of age

🔮⏰🥚The Younger they are the easier the transformation is (So the younger trolls started getting very sick first and started transforming, most elder Trolls don't make it most of the time)

No Troll noticed until it was far too late to change anything because they where looking for a place to settle down and call home, (they only though that disease was spreading though-out the village while they where looking for a home)

🌑🎋🥚Branch was taken into the fold of the group quickly especially since he was young and their basic instincts said to protect young (he was noticed a lot due to the crystals pull on their instincts)

🌑🎋🥩❓Branch also is the Bearer of the Crystal and has it tightly looped in knots around either his wrist, ankle, or neck (though he tends to nearly strangle himself when he puts it around his neck Bc he doesn't know how to tie thins so he just wraps them Around his body tightly and switches things up when the area grows numb or irritated

🌑🎋🌻 👑Branch is actually a Competitor for the position of leader as well as Smidge because they are both strong

NOTE - 🌑🎋👑Branch of course was a bit less swayed to fight for the position and as an older Pup fought that instinct actually but as soon as he knew about Poppy's Challenge he immediately signed himself up naturally to fight for the position especially since he was of age

🍵Protein and meat was extremely valuable and sought after when the Burgas trapped them in the cage and Built around it, they could not get much of it and many died of starvation and lack of nutrients so they have desire to hunt meat and bugs for food

🍵Children where always fed first when it came to meat and protein so the children have a greater liking to it

🍵Most Trolls will actually protect what they find 'small and helpless' because of their past with the Bergans

🍵✨Only Trolls are effected, the Crystal makes any other species feel sick or uncomfortable

🍵Ferals still know how to do things because they remember doing those things

🥚🦙Cooper hatched near the Crystal and is far more feral and wild because he doesn't have anything to tie him down like the other Trolls

🍵🥚⬆️The Children are also like this as well

🎗👑💝The string of Pop Music is woven onto the hair of the Pack Leader (They follow King Peppy Instinctively because they remember him as one, there have been no fights for the position until Poppy started to Grow up and challenge her father)

🎗The string is played by the leader once every year on the day of their escape because they are still drawn to the music- Branch isn't as much as the others but the pull of the string is far more powerful then his disdain of it

#lore dump #Trolls AU #My Trolls AU #Trolls #trolls world tour #Trollstopia #trolls the beat goes on #trolls band together #trolls 3 #Branch Centric AU #Branch #Smidge #Cooper #Poppy

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