#WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME ORIGIN???

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[obsob]

the accolade ( the...the cat-olade...)

#mine #original #i cannot even begin to explain the anguish. the torment. this drawing has brought me #and i STILL dont like it. i simply cant work on it any longer i cant i cant. i must be rid of it #eating drywall as we speak #you want to know how many weeks ive worked on this. THREE. ALMOST. #you want to know how long my other cat drawings take me ?? 3 days absolute MAX #anyway. begon foul creature etc #i havent left extremely long tags for a long while hello everyone good lord there are many of you #we are going stratford this weekend very exciting #its going to be a little chilly and i want to take my new coat with me but issue its not chilly right now so i cant wear it onto the train #i do not think. i can. stuff it into my suitcase i dont think that will happen #i am sure i will figure it out #also. no longer vegan . eggs have won me over. egg egg egg. #im having to restrain myself SO hard from buying more wool i want a shawl i want a shawl #i want more cute DRESSES why are nice comfy dresses 10000£ #i look on vinted and its like dresses for popping your pussy in like not. the vibe im going for thank u #anyway. im going to eat crackers now

[phoenixcatch7]

I get that calling white lotus lbh a sticky little 'sheep' is a canon translation and stuck in the fandom now anyway, but I do feel the intended spirit of the original word wasn't the sheeple/dumb herd animal that's more common in the western world, but instead something actually conveying sweetness, innocence, purity and youth - lamb.

Famous for being utterly adorable and following around their mothers, gambolling in sunny meadows, curly white wool shining.

And NOW we can talk about black sheep/wolf in sheep's clothing metaphors.

#Picturing Sqq sweetly calling lbh a little lamb 🥺 #Him calling lbh a sheep never felt quite right but LAMB??? #And lbh following him around all bright and gangly and moon eyed ToT #Did you know the phrase originates from the wool of black sheep being much harder to dye and thus being undesirable in the wool industry? #That's why sheep are white and not like. Tan or brown or w/e like more natural colours. #But the black fur gene still pops up sometimes so you get white wool parents and siblings and a tiny black lamb trotting along #Who's wool you can never sell and who can't risk having offspring of their own #Also where the baa baa black sheep rhyme comes from! The wool was often sold at a very cheap price because it was so undesirable! #Ngl if someone called me their lamb idk what I'd do. Something desperate for sure #Theyre also sometimes a symbol for Jesus especially around Easter. So. That's a. Thing. That Sqq would most certainly read far too deep int #svsss #mxtx svsss #scum villain #luo binghe #luo bingge #luo bingmei #scum villain's self saving system #scum system #bingqiu #bingyuan #Idk but considering I'm talking about their pet names I'll count it #Gosh lbh calling Sqq shepherd in response... Crook around his neck metaphor I'll go wherever you lead us my guiding star mmm #Sleepy? Yes. Right? Also yes

[blackkatdraws2]

There are more things in the Parable than Stanley knows about. [Blank Scripts AU]

#hoh boy i was going to make a comic to introduce these monsters but #i couldnt help myself and made an animation instead #because i just think they're so neat and cool okay #listen i cant for the life of me just infofump about my AU and OCs #because i just think that making actual content about my lore and stuff will not only raise the chances of people being interested #but also it will also raise my motivation to actually produce more content other than the same old recycled front-facing-profile drawings #i need to get creative with my stuff or I'll also loose interest and I DONT want that #in order to be happy with what i have i cant just think about it and expect to be given something new NOOOO i need to MAKE it ughh #i cant believe in order to get more content out of my own au i would need to draw it and feed myself ugh ugh ugh unbelievable (kidding) #but also #i wanna make a little music video or animation again for youtube #its been a hot while since ive uploaded anything in there at all #maybe an animation reel will do for now? #i hope so :( #because ive been working on expanding the Black Scripts AU #and honestly i dont regret it #i had a lot of fun making up scenarios and comics for Stanley and the Narrator (Black) #but yeah! #apart from this little video #you wont be getting an explanation on what these things are supposed to be #and why theyre there #actually i was originally gonna make this into a full fledge animation with sound effect/music/frame-by-frame movement/etc. #but i got lazy HAHA #tsp blank scripts au #tsp au #the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #tsp

[sysig]

Those wacky skeletons ♥ (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Sans #Papyrus #Handplates #You can tell because of Sans' gloves lol #Getting-used-to-them-again doodles as well as just expressing Feeling <3 Happy towards them! Want them to be happy too! #It might seem silly for these - how many sets in now? - to still be getting used to drawing them again lol but it's because they're adults! #Their clothes and the way they hold themselves - but also especially Sans lol I dunno why I have such difficulty with him at times #He's got a cute face and I still find myself like ????how your face #Other than that tho it's just silliness hehe ♪ My favourite lads :D #I feel the need to make the distinction: I do actually have different favourites based on the AU lol #Like for example in classic I still love Flowey just a tiiiiiny bit more than Papyrus but it really is constantly neck and neck #Whereas in Handplates it's no competition even a little bit lol - Papyrus is just my Very Favourite #But Gaster is my favourite Handplates-specific character since he's unique to the AU! It gets a bit in the weeds lol #Sans isn't far behind at all of course the trio are very important! The duo even moreso imo #Going back to gloves tho I did carry over one of my quirks from my original UT doodles about Papyrus' gloves lol #I initially envisioned them as combination mitten-gloves with a free index finger and all the rest together #I still rather like the design! But it is admittedly not Handplates accurate lol #The occasional dip into self-indulgence who me? Lol #Sleeping on each other is important to me as well!! It is such a favourite hehe #Honestly I just imagined Papyrus getting so exhausted that he fell asleep in the snow lol poor lad #Sans teleported in but it's also funny to imagine him just walking up like ''you good? yeah he's fine'' *flop* haha #Silly lads <3 Do love 'em ♪

[courfee]

“Regulus would be proud of us,” James whispered quietly to no one in particular, still gripping onto the painting like a life raft. 

— Tender Curiosities, Baby!  @otrtbs

#ive thought about this scene for so long it just took me forever to draw cause once again the anatomy of cars is the bane of my existence #like originally i wanted evan and barty holding hands to be visible to have the contrast of sad lonely james and sad not lonely rosekiller #but alas cars wont allow it #ahb just still has my entire heart you dont get it #i have a none blurry rosekiller and a just james in front of blue with stars version of this but i think ill only put them on insta... #tender curiosities baby #art heist baby #james potter fanart #james potter #jegulus #rosekiller #rosekiller fanart #marauders #marauders fanart #evan rosier #barty crouch jr #jegulus fanart #jegulus fanfiction #fic: ahb #art heist baby! #mine #my art #hp #ahb #(sneaky end notes: i do have to admit i am not too pleased with evan and barty but this was my first time drawing them) #(so i couldnt figure it out quite yet hency why they look a little. less efforty...) #(also the snake ring is the same design that i drew for chapter 34 of ahb in my little chapter illustrations for my typeset) #((nvm i just checked back and i am fully lying here i used a different one for my typeset and now im vaguely upset oops) #(i shouldnt make decisions only half awake im going to think about this for too long now i am sad)) #((like suddenly i was like. hold up. i had a different design there didnt i... it was an open ring goddamnit))

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Up High!

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #'I'm going to truncate this episode' -> immediately draws a second comic about Xue Yang's arm getting ripped off #This was the original no.88 and i think i COULD have merged them but I rather reflect then fully re-do it. #The crushed up candy in XY's hand makes me miserable and melancholic. So I need to make it funny. #The callousness at the candy is so interesting to me. I think on some level he understands why #but he's equally disgusted by Xue Yang's actions at this point #WWX in general has *no* tolerance for twisted affections. 'Don't care if you fell in love. Get Better Asshole.' #Kind of a consistent motif in how he reacts to other peoples feelings of affection #maybe his own too? Later in this episode and ep4 we see him very conflicted about his own affections #god maybe he earnestly doesn't really understand affection in any form. This....this makes sense. #not even going to get into the yumeng sibling drama. That's prob the most affection he allows and even then....its a mess.

[aquanutart]

#wind waker #loz #zelda #beedle #linktober #link #aquanutart #day 1: merchant #i really liked beedle in the wind waker he just always seemed so genuinely enthusiastic and happy to see you #i thought his compliment card was hilarious. i always bought a lot of bait anyway to complete my sea chart #and because i liked messing around as a bird i guess i'd buy hyoi pears; so i always racked up enough points without really trying #however i wasn't a fan of what they did with his character in games after that. he became pressuring and insincere #i understand why people would find a two-faced salesman character funny or interesting in his own right #but it's the opposite of what i originally liked about him #unfortunately this makes me question whether it was meant that way to begin with? #i don't know but i like to believe wind waker beedle actually meant his enthusiasm #back when ww beedle was the only beedle i always meant to show appreciation for him so i'm doing that now

[unpretty]

every time a dentist tries to helpfully give me Basic Hygiene Tips it makes me want to give up entirely tbh. i brush twice a day and use a special mouthwash and floss every night and own a nice tongue scraper and what i get for my trouble is fillings and root canals and reminders to floss, the same thing i got in my wayward youth of sleeping all day and brushing once a week. why am i even bothering.

#original #it's because i am better now and doing that would feel too gross but. you get what i mean here #it's like having an elaborate skincare routine that does nothing for your acne and having someone suggest soap. except for teeth. #dental #maybe that's why i miss my old dentist. she told me once that due to a confluence of factors my teeth are just Like This. #'you have beautiful teeth! they're just full of cavities.' where can i find a new dentist with this attitude is what i want to know.

[spaciebabie]

oh so you wanna fuck that monster huh. make sexy art of them without giving them muscles and/or making them look human

#spacie spoinks #this doesnt apply 2 monsters that are already humanoid #also its just a personal thing but muscles on male characters largely turn me off #hjdfkjsdf LIKE WHY IS STILL THE ONLY 'SEXY' MALE FORM IN FANDOM MUSCULAR AND/OR SKINNY #IM SOOO TIRED #yall be giving muscles 2 muh fuckers who DO NOT NEED THEM SHITS #IF YOU NEED 2 HUMANIZE A MONSTER IN ORDER 2 FUCK IT..............YOU AINT A MONSTERFUCKER DAWG................ #''wow this character is really sexy 2 me b/c of how human it looks now!!'' #you'll see the original design be some hulking beast who's shape isnt humanoid in the slightest and then some guy #will come along and be like ''hahaha yeah i wanna fuck this thing'' and then take the characters head and put it on a muscular human body #what is the point dawg. #this can also apply 2 robots #i dont caaareee if you have a humanoid design for 'x' robot/monster character #the problem is when you just. take a stereotypically attractive human body slap the character's head on here and then go crazy over that #and like the original character design does nothing for you. #dude. you dont want 2 fuck these characters you want 2 fuck a human wearing an object/animal head 😭 #true monster/robotfuckers want that thang in its canon form. you cant ride w/us if you're like that dawg #dont mind me this is just a pet peeve i have #its even worse when its female characters oh my godddd #these muh fuckers dont want 2 fuck monsters they wanna fuck a human woman cosplaying as one #good LORD

[andthebeanstalk]

Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!

Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*

Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!

#original #the last unicorn #tlu #peter s beagle #molly gru #schmendrick #schmendrick the magician #two of my favorite characters in anything right there in the center of the story! and I'm glad I saw the film first! #my reading ability has diminished due to trauma disability etc. but it seems like having a visual reference actually really helped! #no wonder i only ever want to read fan fic! turns out reading is not actually Superior to other types of Storytelling. it's just different. #to say otherwise is snobbishness I have been eminently guilty of in my life! #but like it is easier for me to consume tv and movies and that is fine actually. also that's why I'm doing a graphic novel lol #because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb #the audiobook is for visually impaired readers and anyone who wants or needs it! accessible stories for everyone! yeah!! #my gender was already transed but now I've gained an ADDITIONAL gender! which one? I'll never tell 😘 #i am so powerful i have so much fuckin gender. my wife has no gender. and she is equally as powerful. #and also she has STUDIED THE BLADE #mostly zoro's blades from One Piece #normally YouTube recommends me shit movies like idiocracy or smth this is like if every day ur cat brought you a piece of rotten food and #then one day it brings you a BEAUTIFULLY ANIMATED TALE FEATURING MY BELOVED TWINK FUCK-UP WIZARD FRIEND AND MY ALL-TIME HOMEGIRL MOLLY GRU #and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele

[puppyeared]

The garment, worn by those in good standing with Hyrule royalty, has been reworked with the latest improvements, such as a new shoulder guard.

#I miss my wife tails. I miss her a lot. I’ll be back #I love the champions leathers design but the story behind it is so sweet too like. she wanted to thank him so she went and #got some improvements added to it?? and she wanted to see his face when she surprises him with it hello????? #I think my favourite part is the half chest just for angst. I like imagining she was very particular about the armour placements #and had a chest piece added because yknow. right over the heart might I add #originally I wanted this to be more angsty but halfway through I was like wait this would completely miss the point #in my mind the armor isn’t just ‘I don’t want you to die again’ but also ‘I want to keep you safe as best I can’ #in her diary she was like links armor is wearing down so you know what? I’m gonna add more armor to better protect him!!! #and with her upbringing in mind (and the conversation she had with him about whether he would still choose to be a knight if things were #different) she could have totally asked him to stop doing it altogether. but she made the armor for him instead #sidenote she also got to be a teacher and scholar like she wanted and that is so. dont look at me I’m crying #I don’t know if ANY of this makes sense I’m just rambling. yes I wear the champions leathers every chance I get why do you ask #btw if you squint the leathers chainmail and sweater are taken from the hylian armor chestpiece! slightly modified on the tunic but cool #my art #myart #tears of the kingdom #totk #totk spoilers #totk zelda #totk link #botw spoilers #botw #breath of the wild #loz #loz fanart #comic #tw blood #blood

[lokh]

mom avoids dead anime mom curse because he transitions. he’s always had a complicated relationship with pregnancy because of how woefully little people are told about potential complications and aftercare, and also because of how gendered it is, so after the birth of his second child he’s finally had it and decides to transition

he joins a local community group for mothers and at first it’s played for laughs how often they fall to the dead mom curse, but soon we find out more about how society has failed mothers and people who give birth, from information being withheld, procedures being carried out without consent, lack of accommodations and maternal and paternal leave, racism…

it also turns out that becoming a man doesn’t help with this, not really, because being a pregnant trans man brings its own problems. follow along as he learns more about being a parent and a mother, and maybe even… finding love???

coming to you never because I can’t write!

#if the japanese is bad. MY BAD LMAO #this was also a joke for me at first but then i was like well hang on..... #my initial romance thought was his husband leaves him after the transition and eventually a new single father ends up joining the group #cos he like. idk misread the flyer as being a new parents group but the group accepts him with open arms #and hes drawn to the only other guy there and well u know wink wonk. #then i thought well come on thats not. very nice rip what if his husband sticks with him. #but thats why u have more than one trans guy LMAO so it doesnt become bad tokenism!!!! #the older kid also has a complicated relationship with his mom transitioning tbh #art #wow original art from me... ummm. #he also wears glasses but not all the time #GRAPHIC DESIGN IS (NOT) MY PASSION!!!!! #I WANT YOU TO KNOW IF THIS WOULD EVER BE WRITTEN IT WOULD BE GROUNDBREAKING INCREDIBLE. #but it wont because one that would imply that i finish writing anything ever. #two it would require so so much reading. which you should be doing you should be researching. #but the point is there would be a lot because i would think 'oh it had to be perfect' and then would never do it. on top of already #never finishing anything.................. #ocs

[dizzybizz]

i haven't introduced tumbly to my drawtectives oc!!! this is my guy nick nack, he runs a shop where he sells antiques and well... knick knacks.. he loves trinkets n bits n bobs n he is oh so short.

#think howls bedroom in the movie. those are the vibes #ive had this mf since oct.. well roughly... that was when i first kinda drew him. i have a note from sep where i first started thinking abt #a character sorta inspired by howls bedroom #his design is VERY simplified compared to what i have in my head #cus in my head it is cluTTERED. n hes all decked out in jewelry.. and theres way more patterning n detailing on his clothes.... #that will probs be reserved for any bigger rendered pieces i do of him (IF I DO WHICH I WANT TO BUT YKNOW HOW IT IS) #my art #dizzyoriginals #oc #drawtectives #drawtectives oc #nick nack #he can get his own tag sureeee why not #woagh two ocs in a row look at me go are you proud of me #i think one of my art resolutions this year is drawing more original art so we will see how that goes

[laidenbreecatchall]

I have a folder on Pinterest called “why do they look like that” full of official one piece art where they’re just… in atrocious outfits. And I’ve been wanting to draw them so so bad so here the first of hopefully a few! Starting with the notorious nerd ass Law. I wanted to make it more him and see if it was really so bad. It’s not! He’s cute! (Click for quality cause tumblr said “No.” )

Original undercut.

He looks absolutely ridiculous, I love it.

#one piece #trafalgar law #my art #ryeart #art #trafalgar d water law #Trafalgar d Lawrence #< not my joke but I can’t get it out of my head it kills me #also I was so dissatisfied with this piece and then I looked at the original and was like…. no maybe it’s okay…. #I still think I over worked it but whatever #here he is I’m DONE #It might be one of those where I like the initial sketch more than the final result #I just checked I do 😔 #initial sketch law you were so soft why did me coloring you make you like this #oh well #enjoy regardless