#abusive parents deserve to die | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hippielittlemetalhead · 8 months

Text

So season 3. Let's do this!

This took so so so long and is not quite where/what I wanted it to be soooo... I am so sorry 😅🥲 this will most likely be 2 parts cause... Yeah, just life man.

Actually some dialogue in this one? Sure, a line or two, as a treat.

(Part1) (part2)

Steve had been working at Scoops Ahoy for a few weeks now and he feels like he's built a decent rapport with his coworker Robin. She's witty and snarky and opinionated and when Steve wears a more tinted lipgloss than he intended resulting in a customer clocking it and saying something rude that he can't help but smile his dead-eyed customer service smile at, she clocks out for her lunch early (and takes an extra 15 minutes) and comes back with a full face of makeup and shoos him into the back with the mascara she bought from the shop a couple stores over. They both start coming to work with at least mascara, eyeliner and lipstick and Steve loves it. He compliments the hand-drawn designs on her shoes and she asks where he got his rainbow heart pin. They mostly disagree on music they listen to -she still lets him drag her to a couple live music nights at The Hideout with him and Billy every now and then anyway- but their politics and basic life philosophies line up pretty well.

He could do without the 'You Rule / You Suck' board, especially when Billy gets in on it and adds tallies from a little notebook he starts keeping when he and Steve hang out outside of kids and work. And the jokes about his kids (and occasionally Billy) when they come through for free passage to the movies. And the jabs about his parents' money like he still has access to that or their house.

He doesn't tell her that he was cut off and disowned and kicked out. He doesn't tell her that he had to get a job to help pay for his community college courses because he was a disappointment that couldn't get into a pre-approved 4-year university and that meant no college fund and he was still a few years away from being 21 and having access to the trust fund his grandparents set up for him when he was still just a lump of forming cells. And even then anything in that will probably be blown on buying himself his own permanent place instead of just a hand-me-down trailer in the middle of the woods so he needs to save for things like bills and a mortgage.

He doesn't tell her that the reason he lets the kids get away with so much is because they're *his* and they've already seen more fucked up shit than the cops in this town (save Hop) and he'll be damned if they don't get to just be kids. He'll be damned if they decide he's someone they need to hide from and sneak around like they hide and sneak from Joyce and Hop cause that's how they didn't know about half the shit the kids got up to while the adults were doing their best to take care of things themselves. He doesn't tell her that he's paying "rent" to the chief of police (it's way less than he should be but it's all Hop would take).

He doesn't tell Robin a lot of things.

Then sometime after Robin finally warmed up to him but before Dustin comes back from camp, Eddie Munson walks into Scoops Ahoy, his metalhead nerdy entourage in tow. He orders a plain scoop of vanilla with sprinkles in a cup and one of the others also orders something small and simple (while longingly eyeing their diabetes-inducing, horribly artificial tasting, bubblegum flavor when Munson turns away) before all of them are squeezing into one of the largest booths, emptying out messenger bags and backpacks of overstuffed binders and scuffed up versions of very familiar looking textbooks. It's like looking at an older -slightly grungier- version of his kids.

"Gentlemen, now that 🎶school's out for summer🎶-" There's a musical lilt as he says it that sounds vaguely familiar to Steve, "-and it has been confirmed that I will in fact be held captive for yet another stint in the hell they call Hawkins High School it is time we confer and conspire for the next year of Hellfire and the little sheep that will be joining our flock." He kinda loses track of it after that because then his kids are rushing in demanding tasters of everything and edging towards the lifting part of the counter with a look in their eyes that speaks of mischief. He puts up the initial fuss about them only visiting him for his backrooms access and that they promised to only come over when there were no customers around. He lets them through anyway.

He notices Munson eyeing him as he puts the partition back in place shaking his head and Robin laughing at him as she washed their ice cream scoops. The one that's vaguely more familiar looking than the rest and reminds him of a taller, angrier, Dustin with a better hair regimen isn't quite glaring at him but is definitely paying more attention than the rest of Munson's posse and seems more suspicious than Eddie's curious.

The metalheads are still there when Billy shows up stinking of chlorine in clothes that are damp where they cling to his frame. The group loosens up a little when he shoots Steve his signature smug smirk as he shrugs on his denim jacket that -like Steve's own jacket hanging out of sight in the staffroom- had begun accumulating patches and pins since Neil's incarceration. Unlike Steve's, Billy's has homages to bands like Mötley Crue, Deff Leppard, Twisted Sister and Guns N' Roses with little trails of shakily embroidered flowers and constellations on the collar and hems and filling the spaces between the patches and pins. Billy also has a small pink triangle on the lapel where Steve has a rainbow. Steve pretends not to notice the way the group goes a little quiet as Billy starts his usual routine of sunnily demanding tasters of all the available flavors and then again with sprinkles to "-really get an idea of their ✨nuance✨, prettyboy" before deciding on a scoop of double chocolate with a scoop of raspberry vanilla in a cup with sprinkles and one of their fresh waffle cones on top. Like always.

"Really branching out there aren't ya, tough guy?" Steve keeps his face as stoney as possible but he can't help the humored edge to his voice.

Billy just winks at him running his tongue over his teeth as he gives Steve an exaggerated leer, "Gotta keep you on your toes, handsome." Robin fake gags and Steve laughs and Eddie Munson turns red as he stares at the two joking jocks. Billy goes quiet as he stares at his ice cream and Steve recognizes the look on his face, tells the blonde to go sit down in their usual booth and he'd be taking his break soon and they can talk about whatever's bothering him.

What's bothering him is Neill getting parole for 'good behavior', Jim only telling the Mayfield-Hargroves almost a week after he was let out because that was actually the same day he himself found out. Billy found out just before a summer basketball practice session and thinks he snapped at an underclassmen he's been trying to get to open up about what Billy is 90% certain is going on in the kid's home, but he knows that cops can't do much if the victim(s) refuse to trust in those trying to help them. He's worried about the kid he snapped at. Worried about Susan and Max. Worried that even with the restraining order Neill will try something. Billy tells Steve he had thought he saw Neill around the outskirts of town during errands or during his turn to haul the kids around a couple of times before Hop told them and now he's sure it wasn't just paranoia. Steve tells him they'll figure it out, reminds him he's not alone in this

That makes Billy smile, small and tired but real and grateful. His shoulders are still tense and there's still a wariness in the smallest crease between his eyebrows that makes Steve ask if there's anything else. They talk about some of the weird dreams Billy's been having that makes Steve encourage him to talk to El. Just to make sure Billy isn't going through what happened to Will the last alternate-dimension-go-around.

They make plans to head out to see the two Hoppers after Steve's shift. Come up with a basic timeline of when and where Billy thinks he saw Neil so they have something to start with for Hop. Put together an idea of how involved Billy wants to be in whatever plan Hop comes up with. They're interrupted by a group of girls swanning into the shop and Steve being yelled at by Robin to get himself back to work. As he gets up from the table Steve levels Billy with a look that makes the blond think about the way Max and the kids described Steve when they talked about how he fought off the pack of demodogs in the junkyard, planting himself between them and snarling snapping danger like Galahad himself.

Steve looks him in the eyes and says "I swear Billy, we're going to get through this, we'll take care of it and keep you and the girls safe. Hop knows what's going on and even Callahan can't get away with letting that piece of shit fall through the cracks after what he pulled." He leans in close and bites out probably louder than he should for the amount of people in the shop, "And if that fucker gets near any of you I've got Darling in Baby's trunk and I am not afraid to use her on a human shaped monster instead."

Author's (rambler's) Notes:

So, that's all I have for season 3 rn I am so sorry. 😭 I'm working on the next bit but I am so burnt out recently and now I'm unemployed cause of the ceiling at my job caving in which does not help the stress. So I unfortunately do not have a timeframe for you. 🥲 A couple of folks asked to be tagged so... Here you are? To be fair I'm not making any promises in regards to the taglist in the future, I will do my damnedest and y'all will have to bear with me.

I'm glad people are liking this and tbh this has gotten more attention than I expected so thanks? I appreciate the appreciation of my ramblings. Feel free to scream at/with me about this au in my asks box and I'll respond when/as I can. I'm just glad people are enjoying this. 🙃

@heartsong18

@knightofthieves

111 notes · View notes

sfaghetti · 1 year

Text

I saw someone say that Rei thanking his dad makes no sense but ngl it kinda does to me. like so many kids with abusive parents still had some love towards their parents even if they know their parents are abusive/don't love them . Rei calling him dad for the first time and thanking him before cutting him off made so much sense to me. it read to me as someone cutting off their father knowing that they love their father, but that it's also not healthy for them to stay there. taking the chance that he's never gonna see Shigeki again to be able to express his affection for once- something that Shigeki never allowed him to do

#idk maybe its bc of my own experiences w my own shitty mom . like i still loved her after cutting her off #relationships with abusive parents are difficult and I totally understood rei in this scene but maybe thats just me #in no way am I defending shigeki btw I think he deserves to die. im talking ab rei's personal feelings towards his dad #rei suwa #shigeki suwa #buddy daddies #bddddd #bd5 #buddy daddies analysis #maybe ?

72 notes · View notes

shireisasleep · 7 months

Text

guys the vibe was thrown all the way the fuck off

tw for abusive parents (it doesnt seem abusive but she IS emotionally manipulative

i really hope this works

ok so i got pissed off at my mom bc shes being a bitch to me for no reason and i told her to leave me alone and i didnt wanna go on a walk with her so she was like wah ewweh weh cancel ur shit and i tell her "girliepop i cant cancel my shit u old fucking hag i got banned' "U GOT BANNED?!?!?#>?$!>?>!#$!?>#$!" 'yeah i said i was bisexual, then got banned, and got banned again cause i said i got banned, cause i was bisexual' "you have to be more careful with what you say online!!" "oh so were bisexual now?" 'girl why do you CARE youre not even homophobic' i told her to die in a fire cause shes manipulating me into being straight AGAIN methinks "waah waahh ur so ungrateful ur so mean u treat me like shit wah wahh i cant wait for u to go to ur sister and play the victim" 'ur playing the victim rn...' "DONT TALK BACK TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!" '..fuck off.' and then she fucked off

#i wanna run away #i dont want to live anymore #im so sick of her #mommy issues #parental issues #abusiveness #getting treated like shit #“i love you.” are you sure?#im like her punching bag she gets to blame this on her trauma and migraines #but i cant blame ANYTHING on my problems nonono that would make it too fair! we cant have that #it might be race related too or bc im from my bio dads side and he ike beat her and did unsavoury things to my siblings that #he isnt related to #i think she takes her anger out on me because im like a smaller version of her ex bf #shes not homophobic or transphobic shes really supportive but she tried to make me straight once #also she squares up to me all the time knowing i have trauma from my bio dad aswell but when i square up its #'DONT RAISE A FIST TO ME.' like????????????????????????? i dont fight her unless i need to but ill square up if shes yelling so her voice #gets small i know thats really bad but im a strong believer in revenge and she knows full well she deserves it #parental abuse #parents are disgusting #i just want to die #im going to kms #im ready to kms #im ready to be done #im so ready to just leave #i cant wait for the day i get to move out

3 notes · View notes

bloodyethanol · 1 year

Text

goodnight ignore tags i am ok night night

#LITERALLY stop reading thisbbitch right bownlikenakakakakalalalalalalalalalalalalalalaalaallalroooringaaaaruwaitsumademooooootodokanaaaaa #no matter how happy you feel or whatever this household is literally cursed and no matter how much i love my parents they have ruined me #i highly dislike what they've become. it feels like whatever idealized version of them i love is just hanging by a thread if not completely #gone #my mom is a suicidal mess of manipulation and my dad is a stupid abusive alcoholic #both are horrible in their own ways #my mom cant stay home at night and my dad is drunk screaming #last night I woke up with him slapping her while she layed besides me in bed they both literally do not care about me at all #i mean i guess i should be self sufficient now. im 18. i could go with my bf since hes moving but I don't want to.#it seems like no matter what I do everything is out of my control. i think im paying. i think i deserve this. I just wanna die

4 notes · View notes

onlyfangz · 2 years

Text

i know i've made posts about this before, but it still really gets me when we all gasp in horror at how humans treated mental illnesses such as depression and bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, but we'll also wipe our brow and go "phew, at least we know who the Real bad mentally ill people are now because of our modern sciences and unbiased psychiatric practices!" and throw cluster-b disorders under the bus without a hint of irony.

#charlie.txt #this isn't to say depression bipolar and schizophrenia are no longer stigmatised #far from it #especially in the case of the latter #but i feel like the tides are turning slowly into more understanding #and this is mostly aimed at people who do consider themselves mental health advocated #advocates*#the type of people who have ptsd and then blame it on their parents having NPD #and then make videos about how narcissists are evil to the tune of 100k views #like even if your parents do have npd which you cannot diagnose bc you are not a therapist and if you are you are not their therapist #they abused you bc they're not good people not because of the npd #it's to the point where people with npd aspd bpd hpd etc.#cant find the help they need bc everything out there is about how theyre bad evil fucked up people who deserve to die

14 notes · View notes

itstheelvenjedi · 2 years

Text

TW: abuse, assault mention, very much a vent. You do not have to read it and I don't have the time or spoons to coddle your stupid ass if you ignore this and read it and get your panties in a knot so just fuck off if you're sensitive to these themes I cannot (read WILL not) deal with you and I'm sick of compromising my own mental health for the comfort of a bunch of morons on the Internet who apparently can't fucking READ a trigger warning. Grow up.

Feelings I didn't realise I DIDN'T miss till I was stuck living with them again: being constantly on eggshells because if I breathe too loudly/in a certain way it will be taken as disrespect even if I was just inhaling air.

No privacy. Ever. What is privacy. Do these people know how to knock

Being two degrees of separation from a serious mental breakdown from the collective fuckery of my shitty situations all crashing down on my shoulders and still having to tiptoe around him and be HIS safety blanket because "uwu I can't deal with this shit rn why are you so difficult uwu"

Important context: THEIR cat got sick, THEY lost his insurance documentation which meant they couldn't claim for it till after the fact so ME had to pay 200 bucks so the family cat didn't die of a preventable infection because THEY couldn't adequately take care of a single celled amoeba without killing it nevermind an actual living, breathing, other being. HE was too pussy to medicate his own fucking cat so ME had to get bitten and scratched giving him meds 2x a day for a week and deal with kitty tantrums because he had to be on 24/7 obs for 1.5 of those days (not the cat's fault, obviously. But yes abso-fucking-lutely my parents' faults for ignoring my warnings about letting him 1) Freeroam whenever/wherever because they're too lazy to clean and maintain a litter box so "he won't pee in there he only goes OUTSIDE D'':" AND 2) letting him eat shit he kills in the street because "he's got an immune system, he'll be fine" BRUH YOUR CAT ALMOST DIED. HE WAS NOT FINE

Also incase anyone was wondering how my month is going: though I could finally gtfo at the end of the month, went to take some stuff back ahead of time only to discover that a damp problem in my bathroom which the social housing authorities kept ignoring despite my complaints has spread mold through my ENTIRE APARTMENT and ruined ALL OF MY FURNITURE. YEAH, EVERY LAST PIECE OF FURNITURE I OWN.

Which HE then had a meltdown over because you know, it's not like HIS furniture got trashed and HE has to keep sleeping on a couch less than a foot away from a woman who emotionally, physically, psychologically AND financially abused him since childhood because he had NOWEHERE ELSE TO GO and who now has to stay there INDEFINITELY until social housing gets their head out of their ass and decides to address my request/complaint (it took them 3 years, and then 18 months (and counting) to evict tenants that physically assaulted me BTW for reference) /s

I am screaming. Perpetually. I hate it here fr I want out let me OUT aaaaaaaa

At this point if I survive till the end of the year I may believe in miracles because it genuinely doesn't seem possible at this point

#elven screams into the void #tw: abusive relationship mention #i will scream it to the sky till the day i die #elven rants in the tags #delete later #prolly #theyre already talking about what THEY need that money for instead of remembering they fucking need to pay it back to ME cause i spent #MY money on THEIR cat btw in case anyone was wondering just how much of a fckn garbage fire my parents are :')#and also i still have to pay to get my apartment fumigated for mold + al #new furniture. which they ''havent got money to help me with'' ofc #while im down a significant chunk of my savings looking after THEIR pet bc he doesnt deserve to suffer because theyre pos #hello yes this is a mental breakdown #because this is 100% genuinely the only place i can have one without being made to feel selfish so fckn let #me have this ok. you dont even have to read it infact im not expecting anyone to #i just need to Scream and i am in a position where i simply Cannot Ever and i forgot how shitty it is honestly #fuck this shit and the horse it rode in on

3 notes · View notes

therevengeoffrankenstein · 11 months

Text

actually yes! my mother does NOT deserve happiness.

#our relationship is cartoonishly toxic in nature.#prayer circle for her to miscarry and/or die in childbirth. 🙏🙏🙏. she doesn't deserve another chance to abuse yet another child.#myevilposts #parents tw #she has me trapped with her in this piece of shit house 8+ hours away from my daddy and my home and everything i've ever known.#but she doesn't actually gain anything from keeping me here. she doesn't actually want a relationship with me. she just wants to keep me #like a bird in a cage. just to say she has me. because she loves the IDEA of me. she doesn't even take care of me.#you understand the themes. you get it.#my captor doesn't even pretend to care about ME ! i am miserable but she would rather keep me trapped here than give me happiness #because she wants to KEEP me. to make herself feel better because she failed as a mother.#she knows how miserable i am and doesn't even pretend to care about me. she doesn't even TRY to care about me at all.#all of this would be solved if she just admitted to herself that she has ruined our relationship beyond repair and she doesn't even care #about me and i'm better off with my dad full-time. but that'd be too much. to hear the truth.#if she really loved me she'd let me go. she'd at least give me the option. but she only gave me the illusion of choice #until i told her how i really felt and then she screamed at me about how horrible my misery makes her feel about herself.#like she can't fucking win here. not anymore. and when i finally get away from here i'm going to cut her ass off.#because that's what she deserves. 🥰🥰🥰

1 note · View note

uncaught-coolfish · 1 year

Text

someday I’ll get around to rip v//l//d a new one. someday

#i have as much to say about that show alone as I do rw/////by #because WOW did they fuck that up #from the blatant queerbaiting #whatever the fuck they did in season 8 #and that time they made their character who was a victim of child abuse a maniacal villain #who was told he was just like his father before he was left to die. and in the final season we see said former child abuse victim’s #GROTESQUE MANGLED CORPSE. meanwhile his parents get sappy little “redemption” arcs fuck off lotor deserved better

1 note · View note

five-thousand-loaves-of-bread · 20 days

Text

autism awareness & autism acceptance not either or. not mutually exclusive. can coexist. need coexist.

“there enough awareness for autism already 🙄 we need acceptance”

ok. you aware of high support needs autism? aware what that even means? not “need reminder take meds need remind take shower” “high” support needs autism, but “need full physical help do bADLs lack danger awareness may accidentally hurt self or even kill self without support” high support needs autism? not just higher support needs people who can be independently online do advocacy, but those who need help from others even be online, or those who cannot be online at. all.?

aware of nonverbal nonspeaking people? not just nonverbal nonspeaking people who can write grammatically correct cannot tell apart base on writing. not just nonverbal nonspeaking people who can be online who can advocate online.

aware of nonverbal nonspeaking people who cannot communicate in way that easily understood, either for now, or ever? aware of nonverbal nonspeaking people without functional communication, aware of how without functional communication, how that drastically limit communication, even though behaviors are valid communication? aware of nonverbal nonspeaking people who may never use AAC fluently even with best support?

aware of technically verbal but very limited verbal autistics who may only able say wants & needs but not other things and certainly not online advocacy, “despite being verbal”?

aware of just how much our life depends on caregiver/carer/PCA/etc? aware how vulnerable that make us? aware of abuse from caregivers? aware of caregiver burnout from lack of support for caregivers, & how that impact our care we receive? have you even heard of term respite care? aware of those of us who cannot separate ourselves from caregiver? aware of those of us who cannot participate in autism community without caregiver?

aware of visibly autistic people? aware how we not automatically believed? aware how we often bear blunt of violence because we most easily identified target because we visible? aware visible =/= get support, aware that many those diagnosed severe who now adult so no longer qualify for services under 21 year old, languish in hospitals because nowhere to go? aware how long life saving necessary waitlists are? aware that even to this day parents have to fight school fight day service fight government fight insurance for them give their nonverbal nonspeaking child AAC & be properly taught how use it? actually, are you aware of how properly teach AAC to nonverbal nonspeaking, developmentally delayed child who may or may not have intellectual disability?

actually, aware of autistics with (correctly diagnosed) intellectual disability & how they make up big amount of autistic? aware of institutional systemic & legal impact of mental [r word] right & the human rights abuse justified using r word right? wait, you aware that r word come from old term for intellectual disability, that, actually, still in many laws because no one bothered updating, right? aware of what severe profound ID look like? and aware they real and they still human deserve education deserve life deserve care, yes?

aware of early diagnosis 20 30 or even 10 years ago, not same as now, even less resources & knowledge about autism now? aware that while gender race class 1000% impacted diagnoses, a lot of early diagnosed people early diagnosed because… they die without support unlocked by diagnosis, right? but also, aware that in old times, early diagnosis often did mean doom, not because autism bad or anything, but because severe lack of support & diagnosis can literally bar you from so many things including basic education?

aware that for many people in special education, which impact specific group of autistic people, they not get degree when graduate high school, they just get certificate, which limit their educational & employment opportunities & others?

aware of life saving importance and necessity of masking for autistic of color especially Black autistic people, despite stress inducing traumatic? aware that live in broken system be victim of hate crime & police brutality just as traumatic often even more traumatic than masking? aware that many Black & other parents of color forced to teach their child masking because of this?

are you aware of most marginalized autistic people? aware of leadership of most impacted?

aware you can and need to care about autistic experiences & form of autism you not experience? aware that you can and need to do that without try twist your experience into our experience into our words our community?

aware that advocacy goes beyond about you?

aware that you can’t speak for all autistic? aware that you shouldn’t speak for all autistic?

are you aware of when you need to stop talking & listen & amplify others? aware of when and how to decenter self?

aware that even this long post, barely scratch surface? still so much to say?

[better worded version of original post]

#loaf screm #actually autistic #autism acceptence month #autism awareness #autism awareness month #high support needs #long post #nonverbal #nonspeaking #autism #autistic #autism acceptance

1K notes · View notes

flamingo--ing · 1 year

Text

i know i know i know i know

#this is my text post tag #im awaaaaaare im annoying and its always the same bullshit #god i am the fucking worst #ty said by 'minimizing' my problems im being self destructive #but see i dont fucking HAVE problems.#im a privileged piece of shit making up reasons to be miserable #im absolutely horrible and i bring my fake shitty stupid problems to people w like Actual bullshit happening to them #and like what gives me the right to complain when i have friends who went through Actual abuse and horrible stuff #and then im like wah wah my car is broken and i have to borrow my moms car #and my parents are gonna pay to fix my car/get a new one #like okay so why am i being pissy? why am i upset?#i have 0 reason to be.#god i deserve to die fr

0 notes

moltengoldveins · 2 months

Text

hi yeah just… had another crisis about C!Tommy because…. Like, he was the worst possible victim? He was brash and loud and annoying and rude and exuberant and opinionated and inconsistent and inconsiderate and not that great at stuff. Like me. And nobody believed that people were treating him poorly, that he was suffering, that he was being traumatized because he was Still Like That. It woulda taken him loosing so much of his soul as to be unsalvageable before they noticed something was off, and honestly? They mighta viewed the new Tommy as better. He’s quieter, he’s more aware of the people around him, he’s quicker to help, not as likely to butt in where he isn’t wanted. and as someone who’s really, really similar to Tommy in a Lot of ways: …. Oh holy scud. Oh. Oh I get it. I get why nobody noticed. I get why they liked me better when I was suffering. I get why my parents put me in situations where I was in pain, because the aftermath made me easier to handle. I was Palatable when I was in pain, and nobody believed me when I said X or Y thing was hurting or traumatizing me, because I was Still Me, and that image of the Victim, the quiet broken child who backs down at the slightest hint of violence, was too big to look past. When someone raised their hand or their voice, I made fists and widened my feet. No wonder. No wonder. they made him a martyr, when he died. They spelled it out for us. Holy crap. They really went “here. Here is the true child abuse. Here is the people you ought to love and protect. They are hard to love and protect. They deserve it anyway. Here. Here is what people do to them when they die because no one believes them. Here is the symbol they become. Now here is what happens when they come back.”

#mcyt #tommyinnit #dream smp #dsmp tommy

990 notes · View notes

emofrog69 · 2 years

Text

i cant talk to people who actually believe spanking and physically harming a child misbehaving is ever okay. all of their arguments get worse and worse

#‘but MY child deserves it.’#‘but they bother me so much!’#’but i dont think they understand reason and i refuse to try to get on their level.’#‘no i wouldnt hit an adult if they made a mistake. what? i dont dehumanize my child.’#‘no i wouldnt hit an animal they dont understand what they did wrong! but im 100% sure my 2 year old is emotionally manipulating me.’#‘babies cry to manipulate you. no its not bc thats the only way they can communicate.’#‘spanking my child is very effective even tho they are fearing me & fearing getting caught and not understanding why ___ is wrong to do’#‘i know every study goes against hitting your child but they havent met mine hahaha’#‘no i never read about parenting before having my child why do you ask?’#its tempting to try and pathologize them but that takes too much effort im just gonna say youre a shit person and leave it at that.#like they are always so sensitive about it too which is so funny. theyll die on the hill that abusing someone is fine

0 notes

bluespiritshonour · 3 months

Text

Water Siblings and Fire Siblings as Foils

Katara and Sokka are peak sibling rep: they bicker, they hurt each other, they take turns being the voice of reason while the other goes batshit crazy—and they'd die for each other.

And very clearly Sokka's daddy's boy and Katara's momma's girl: and for most parts, they seem to be content with that dynamic.

Look, parents have favourites, let's establish that first: don't come at me for it.

But in a healthy environment, where all of the kids’ emotional needs are met irrespective of which kid gets along with which parent, they're less likely to tear themselves apart yearning for parental affection.

Sokka and Katara's family was a normal one, a healthy one—as healthy as one can be in a war ravaged world—and Sokka and Katara are normal siblings. Even after their mother died Katara doesn't seem to care much that Sokka gets more time with their father. And everytime she brings up their mother Sokka gets this weird look on his face, which, I think is later explained by the fact that he feels guilty that he doesn't even remember what their mother looked like. And it's not because Katara seems to know more about their mother despite being younger.

Neither of them grudge the other for having been close to one of the parents—let's call it ‘being close to’ instead of ‘dad/mum loved you/me more’ because that's what would come up with Azula and Zuko.

One can say that Azula's daddy's girl and Zuko's momma's boy... Except it isn't like that.

Azula wasn't loved by her father; neither was she close to him. If anything she had the illusion that she's close to him. But children can sense when they aren't loved, which can explain why she took her mother being close to Zuko so hard. Because she didn't get that from her father and isn't she supposed to be daddy's girl? But dad's good to her; mum... isn't. Dad lets her do what she wants... As long as she obeys him or she'd end up like Zuko.

For Ozai, both his children are pawns. He uses Azula to abuse Zuko, which in turn is to get at Ursa. And honestly, Ursa was a bad mum and an abuse victim and not the villain are takes that can co-exist.

A lot of mums in primarily patriarchal cultures end up abusing their own kids while trying to protect them in an environment where they themselves hold little power.

Ursa and Hakoda can be compared in this.

Katara haters can look away: she isn't whiny. And even if she is, well, she takes responsibility when no one else does so I guess she deserves to complain if that's what it takes. Katara is extremely mature. When she was mad at Hakoda, she still had the critical thinking skills to point out that yes, she understands why he left. He had to! She doesn't blame him for that, it wasn't his fault that there was war going on—but it still hurt!

And what does Hakoda do? He hugs her and apologises. He doesn't defend himself, because he doesn't need to. She understands! She said she does and he doesn't insult her by making excuses. He acknowledges and validates her pain.

Unlike Katara, who grew up in a healthy family with parents and grandparents and a whole community—Azula was isolated and under the influence of Ozai. And she was so young! If you remember being that young, you'd remember thinking that parents are always right. You don't realise that parents make mistakes too—and while her emotional needs weren't being met by Ozai, she turned to Ursa—but Ursa was at her wits end trying to undo the damage of Ozai's abuse on Zuko.

If she had given attention to Azula, Zuko, who thought that Azula was perfect and already had father's approval would have gone off rails—and since she didn't... Azula went off the rails.

Which was exactly how Ozai would want it. I don't like the comics much but it made sense that Ozai would hold both the children as bargaining chips against Ursa. Ursa made her choice, or rather, the illusion of her choice and Azula had to pay for it: the real reason Zuko could turn over a new page while Azula couldn't was because from the very beginning, Zuko had his mum and uncle.

Azula had no one!

Like Hakoda had to go to war and leave his children behind, Ursa had to choose between Azula or Zuko; Ozai orchestrated it as such.

But while there were people to pick up Hakoda's slack, there was no one to guide Azula. Sokka and Katara raised each other and they had Gran Gran.

Zuko and Azula were constantly pitted against each other by a war-mongering father.

I don't like this unrealistic expectations that fandom has of a family where both the siblings not only love each other equally, they also process emotions similarly (see: the Sokka vs Katara debate on how they both react to trauma) and parents who love all the kids equally.

Katara and Sokka are normal and realistic in the way that they are both different people: they process grief differently. Katara takes up responsibly and grows up too fast, it takes a toll on her and she's vocally expressive. She turns her grief into anger. Meanwhile Sokka internalises it in a survivor's guilt kind of way.

There's also gender involved in the way both pair of siblings interact. It's more subtle for the fire siblings than the water sibling. Plus, Suki makes Sokka drink his respect women juice, please y'all don't call Sokka sexist. That was character development for him which was addressed. I could make another post for gender and A:TLA.

And they both love each other dearly and they're okay with the fact that one is daddy's boy and the other is momma's girl. It's okay.

In contrast Zuko yearns for his father's affection and Azula yearns for her mother's. And while Zuko feels inadequate, for Azula it's “behave or you'll end up like your brother.”

She also learns to derive a sick sort of pleasure from watching Zuko suffer—which is entirely her father's doing. Because in rare moments when she doesn't have anything to gain by getting Zuko into trouble...she actually kind of looks out for him. It's extremely rare and sprinkled here and there to show us the Azula that could have been.

And I don't think Zuko really realised that Azula was abused too—not until he lets go of his father. Until the final Agni Kai. What I love about it is that despite portraying Azula as Zuko's tormentor for 3 seasons (and she was his tormentor) they did not frame the Agni Kai as some epic good vs evil shit.

Because from Zuko's point of view Azula was perfect. He's out here vying for his father's affection while she gets it freely. She's so lucky!—until he lets go of his father and realises what a monster he was... And he also realises that father never really loved Azula either...

They didn't say as much in words. But the final Agni Kai is proof enough. Zuko doesn't rejoice bringing Azula down (technically Katara did it). At this point, I guess, he realises that Azula's a kid too. Even younger than him—that their father couldn't care less about either of them.

Okay. I really do think that Zuko suddenly becoming invested in Azula's redemption would make sense after the Agni Kai. I also read this Twitter thread by Aaron Ehasz where he says he had plans for Azula's redemption and it was fantastic.

So yeah. Without being overt, the water siblings and fire siblings are contrasted by each other. Which is why I don't like the comics trying to do this brother-sister thing where they put Sokka and Katara and Zuko and Azula in back-to-back panels like... Even if I'm a huge supporter of Azula-deserves-redemption I didn't like those panels in the comics.

P.S. don't pit Sokka and Katara against each other. You aren't Ozai. They're different people who process trauma and loss differently and hence, react differently.

Adios.

#atla #avatar the last airbender #ink rambles #katara #sokka #zuko #azula #azula deserves redemption #katara defence squad

498 notes · View notes

beggars-opera · 5 months

Text

Hey, so we don't talk enough about A Christmas Carol as being at least a little bit about not continuing a cycle of abuse and neglect, both against others and yourself.

In the book little Scrooge is left languishing over the holidays in a boarding school for some never-explained reason, but it is made very clear that this is miserable and unfair, and that his father is doing this on purpose. His sister specifically comes to tell him that "father is so much kinder now than he used to be, that home's like heaven." This also reflects a bit of Dickens's own childhood when his father went into debtor's prison and little Charlie was forced to support his family working full time in a shoe-blacking factory at the age of 12 (which is also why so many of his books seem to have a moral of "hey, kids are people too and maybe we shouldn't make them work in the mines.")

Whatever family reunion happened after didn't work out, because Scrooge continues believing that no one is coming to save him and pulling himself up by his bootstraps at the detriment of all other social relationships is the only way forward. And the more he lives by that philosophy, the more miserable he gets, because obviously he pushes away anyone who has that hope that he lost. They threaten to break down the walls he's built and teach him that a big pile of money doesn't have to be the only thing that he can rely on, if he'd just let himself be vulnerable and have a relationship with people who care about him, because they're out there even if he's ignoring them.

There is a certain type of person still very much out there who thinks this way. "I've never been happy in my life, so no one else has a right to be either. I was abused in my childhood so it's only fair that everyone else suffer as well." We see this in parents who still try to use corporal punishment, and in wealthy people who ignore the social factors keeping others down and scream that everyone else is just entitled, that only those who suffer and scrape deserve happiness. And they especially hate the people like Fred who represent the past that could have been, who have maintained hope for the future, and seem to be rubbing their optimism in your face, when in reality they're just maintaining hope because it's the only way you can survive.

It's so important for Scrooge to actually see the impact this thinking has on both himself and multiple generations. Rich people have this weird hangup about this story because they think Scrooge is bad because he's rich. He's not, he's bad because he's a horrible person and a miser - he doesn't use his money to better anything, including himself. Salting the earth, everyone suffers here, including him. And he learns that he's going to die old and alone without ever having spent or enjoyed his money, and that his family feels sorry for him, and that the nameless masses of poor people out there that he decries so much are in fact living, breathing people, including tiny disabled kids who don't deserve to suffer just because you decided life isn't fair.

In the end he takes responsibility for actually uplifting the people in the next generation who are trying to make the world a better place and no longer punching down, because it doesn't have to be this way. So many people out there just give up hope because things are hard and they think trying to improve things is a pointless exercise that makes them look dumb. How dare you grow a year older and not an hour richer! How dare you marry for love! That's the only thing more ridiculous than a Merry Christmas! When in reality, there are plenty of people who would love to see them happy if they just had a chance.

It's really sad that, while the language used to describe it has changed, these problems still persist. That people feel so wronged and isolated that they spend their days ensuring everyone else will be as well. That they fail to see their fellow humans as fellow humans who are just as deserving of love and kindness and a roof over their heads. I don't care what time of year it is, we should all be lifting each other up rather than tearing each other down.

#long post #rant #a christmas carol #charles dickens #history #books #literature #christmas #who hurt elon musk

755 notes · View notes

wondersinwaynemanor · 3 months

Text

i'm just thinking: young Jason was never given sweet nicknames or endearments by his parents, when he grew up at a poor, messy, abusive environment. so maybe when he heard them for the first time from his loved ones, it was a bit too much for him? and maybe, he would sometimes ask himself, "What did I do to deserve this?".

Bruce: Oh, Jaylad. You're so important to me. To us. Don't ever, ever doubt your place in this family.

Bruce, his father, would say as he kissed Jason's forehead when he was kid, and now as a young adult. forehead kisses always sealed the deal that maybe, Jason was part of this family.

Alfred: My, dear boy. Hush now. I'm never too old to take care of you.

Alfred, who has been the closest person he has as a Grandfather, would patch his injuries and bruises. he would also serve some hot coco or tea after a long night of patrol as a kid and even until now.

Dick: Little Wing, I missed you. Give your big brother a hug please, or I'll cry.

Dick, his older brother, would give him warm hugs whenever they see each other. and he doesn't want to admit it, but it's nice to feel Dick's arms around him. he may be taller now, but he still feels very secured when Dick holds him close, like he's a kid again.

Tim: You're pretty awesome, Jay. You've always been my hero.

Tim, his younger brother, would compliment him when Jason saved little kids again from the streets, or when he would give charities to the orphanage. and wow, he never understood how Tim still idolized Jason when he had hurt him before. Jason makes up for it always.

Damian: I'm glad you're here, Akhi.

Damian, his baby brother, would sometimes show emotions like these. but when he uses that word for Jason, it makes him proud of himself, that maybe he is good at taking care of his siblings.

Roy: Jaybird, hey. You're here with me, and not back there. Focus on me.

Roy, one of the most important people in his life, would touch his face with his warm hands, eyes so sincere and loving, keeping him grounded, whenever Jason would see green when they're in patrol together.

and yes, it may be overwhelmingly good for Jason to be told with those words. but he would rather die again than lose any of these people.

#i love pain #give jason all the hugs please #jason todd prompt #batfamily prompt #jayroy prompt #batman #batfamily #batdad #batbros #jayroy #i am obsessed with jayroy #jason todd #bruce wayne #dick grayson #tim drake #damian wayne #roy harper #alfred is the goat #dc

502 notes · View notes