#all i can think about is the character assassination in book 2 that everyone was talking about a while ago

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Round 2

Propaganda why Marinette Dupain-Cheng is insufferable:

She easily gets away with bad, stalkerish behavior, it always feels like she can ‘do no wrong’ unless the show wants us to pity her, and the show writers want us to think she is a quirky and socially awkward girl when throughout the series we see her be friends with basically everyone in Paris with many connections to high up places.

I get she has social anxiety but the way she goes about stalking Adrien is kind of the worst like she even has creep shots of him hanging in her room? That’s weird. I think Adrien’s going through enough without having to deal with the main character being his stalker lol. I know they’re (spoilers) at this point but in the beginning it was so sus

In the newest season, Marinette hides the fact that Hawkmoth was Adrien’s dad. This leads to the bastard getting a statue and honored as a hero after his death. Adrien now never gets to know the fact that his abusive and neglectful father was the one trying to kill him and is instead proud of him.

Her crush on Adrien is like a black hole for her character. Things she’s done because of it:

1) stolen property

2) ruined dates

3) humiliated other characters

4) has a chart of Adrien’s daily schedule for the next year in her room (this is stalking)

5) broke into his room and sniffed his pillow (also a crime)

6) sniffed, took the hair from, and tried to kiss what she thought was a wax statue of Adrien

7) convinced her parents to let her go to China. Why? Not because she wants to connect with her mother’s heritage, not even because she’s a budding fashion designer and Shanghai is considered a fashion hotspot. It’s because Adrien was there.

I started the show, watched one episode, and never tried again. I simply do not vibe with her.

shes annoyinng anf shes a stalker

I love fanon miraculous but by god she has got to stop obsessively stalking her crush and generally making a ton of other terrible decisions. I’d submit Adrien too but he’s more of a deuteragonist

More propaganda

Anti propaganda

Propaganda why Aelin Ashryver Galathynius is insufferable:

Your basic Mary Sue. Styled as the incredibly cool best-assassin in the land at only 18, she nevertheless is constantly snuck up upon, distracted by pretty boys, and possesses not an ounce of wit. In a competition between murderers and thieves to win a place as the King's Champion, she sees a bag of chocolates on her bed that she didn't put there and immediately starts eating it and gushing about how much she adores chocolate - nevermind that they just had a trial involving poison, which several of her competitors are adept at. She's always right, and other characters exist just to tell her how awesome and beautiful and wonderful she is. And then she turns out to be a super special magical fey princess!

I generally don't believe that a Mary Sue is a bad thing, but the only thing I remember about this book was how she had been in prison for years but was super young but was also still the most super-specialest assassin. And she kept reading when she should have been training or sleeping. Like, girl, this is not final exams where you can stay up all night and then roll into class in your pajamas and still squeak out a C. It's supposed to be life and death. Her character traits didn't make her relatable, they made her a moron

Heir to a kingdom plus turquoise eyes plus best assassin in the world plus protagonist centered morality

Anti propaganda

#marinette dupain cheng #miraculous ladybug #mlb marinette #mlb #aelin galathynius #celaena sardothien #throne of glass #aelin ashryver galathynius #insufferable protagonist poll #insufferable protagonist tournament #tournament poll

[arson-09]

Why AcoMaF is a subjectively BAD BOOK

Point 1: feels like a different series

Acomaf does NOT feel like a sequel to acotar. The main reason being your introduced to a whole new cast of characters without warning. Typically, in a series your introduced to your main characters in the first book and the cast that will come and go throughout the rest of the series (ex pjo, six of crows, the cruel prince) you get new characters introduced at some points but you already know all the really important people. in acomaf though we basically forego the og acotar cast (which was small) and given a HUGE cast of important characters. Along with a new, large plot that really didn't get footing in acotar. The only thing that carries over between the two books in Feyre. Tamlin and the spring court hardly count in my mind cause its so drastically different from how it was written in acotar

point 2: characters, their motivs, and their writing

I can go on for AGES about the character assassination of Tamlin. Sjm completely re-wrote his character. There was no actually foreshadowing for this behavior in acotar and i will talk on this more in a later point. But back to our main girl Feyre. Feyre wasn't horrific in this book (shockingly) however she frequently states things that aren't true. Example, she says that "He [Tamlin] hadn't tried to kill her [Amarantha], hadn't crawled for me." which is false. to quote acotar "I found Tamlins eyes- wide as he crawled towards Amarantha, watching me die, and unable to save me while his wound slowly healed, while she still gripped his power." I could also cite early passages where Tamlin is BEGGING Amarantha to stop hurting Feyre. We are told why in acotar Tamlin couldn't fix everything (giving reason to Feyre having to do the trials etc etc) however this is promptly forgotten in acomaf to villainize Tamlin and give Feyre some sort of motive. A completely unnecessary thing. SJM can't commit to what she wrote previously, having to retcon things instead of thinking up some other motivation or reasoning. Its frankly lazy and makes the story feel cheap. I made many highlights in acomaf where something is directly retconned.

point 3: SJM and writing anger issues and mentally ill characters.

This will mainly focus on Tamlin as his character and his issues are quite personal to me.

Tamlin is written to have anger issues. these are vaguely hinted at in acotar when, after Rhysand comes and threatens the shit out of everyone Tamlin orders everyone to leave the dining room and then takes his anger out on the furniture (that is what is hinted at anyway) and then in acomaf these outbursts of anger are amped up. And used to go "look! he's actually evil and a bad person!"

As someone who has anger issues, a short temper, whatever you want to call it, finds this really disheartening. It's clear to me that sjm doesn't actually put thought or care into writing characters with tempers. Its also extremely biased as Rhysand is written to have a short temper however this is never a problem, but it is with Nesta and Tamlin. Now this is not me excusing abuse, but a character having anger issues does not equal abusive and bad like the acotar fandom heavily does with Tamlin. In general Tamlin's character is so dissolved in acomaf its just sad. SJM didn't even try to write a convincing character descent. At some point in writing acotar she fell in love with Rhysand and decided she wanted to change the love interest. (she had done this before in throne of glass) and while that's fine choosing to use Tamlins anger issues and protectiveness to attempt to write an antagonist was a cheap cop out. She couldn't even commit to making him an actual villain. Shes just capitalizing off of mental issues.

#acotar #a court of thorns and roses #sarah j maas #tamlin #rhysand #feyre #acomaf #a court of mist and fury #sjm #sjm critical

[lemonxlimee]

Okay well I'm bored so here's some of my osc headcanons

Sibling/Family

Pencil and Pen are siblings. Pencil is older by a few years, and Pen has trouble being apart from her for too long due to his RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder). Marker is their cousin, he's younger than them both.

Tree, Leafy, Flower and Grassy (in that order) are siblings. They usually don't acknowledge this because the age gaps between them are so big, but Flower and Leafy have a propensity to favour each other since their ages are closer and they grew up together. Their ages in BFB are: Tree: 27, Leafy: 19, Flower: 18, Grassy: 6

Woody is a cousin. He's 17 in BFB.

Silver Spoon and Knife are brothers. They don't know that; Silver Spoon was raised in a rich neighbourhood by their mother, and Knife was "raised" by his "father" somewhere else.

Firey and Match are half-siblings. Firey is a little older than Match.

Firey Jr is the result of a failed Firey recovery. The former likes to think of them as brothers, but Firey would rather not think about the little one.

I also agree with the idea that Firey is a fireafy child, but I don't like fireafy so I choose to ignore it.

Paintbrush and Broomer are cousins, and they have lunch over their art every other weekend. Paintbrush is The Broomer Boys' album artist.

Gelatin and Lollipop are not related, but they think of each other as their sibling. Gelatin is younger than Lolly.

Fan and Paper are cousins.

Coiny and Nickel (bfb) are twins, but Nickel is younger.

If they were to be humans, Yin and Yang would be conjoined twins.

Book, Journal and Casey are siblings.

Fan and Fanny are siblings.

General

Black Hole has alexithymia. That means he has trouble identifying his emotions and often feels as if he doesn't have them.

Liy used to be an assassin; that's why she found so much joy and fulfilment in being part of Death PACT.

Because of his RAD, Pen has convinced himself he and Eraser are soulmates.

Two's birthday is 2/2/2002. They're the third-youngest Numeric Algebralien, the only younger being Four (4/12/2004) and X (7/28/2008).

Golf Ball made herself prosthetic arms, but she rarely uses them as she finds them to be "a hassle." Tennis Ball wears him, though, only because he feels an obligation to use GB's invention (since she made it for him, and it would be rude not to accept a gift!)

all the Electric contestants (Remote, TV, Robot Flower, Lightning and Fanny) are in an alliance. Price Tag and Profily are honorary members.

Coiny is dyslexic. That means he has trouble identifying words and letters and often spells and reads things incorrectly.

Bell loves Christmas music and often forces her teammates to go carolling with her every morning in December.

Blocky is great at physics (some of his pranks wouldn't work unless he carefully calculated them first, so he needs to be at least a little smart). One time, while helping nanny one of Rocky and Grassy's playdates, he noticed GB building a contraption where the support beams were slightly too small, and he helped her fix them. Much to the surprise of everyone involved, Blocky ended up being an asset to the scientists.

Firey speaks Spanish, and Taco is fluent in Mexican Spanish; they often can be heard muttering to each other about their respective Grrrs. Neither Leafy nor the rest of TLTDBGSI know this.

Pie wakes up at 3:14 AM every single day. Since Fanny is a light sleeper, it bothered her for the entire 6 months they had to room.

Fanny isn't much more grateful for having to bunk with Marker, either -- if it were up to her, he'd be sleeping in the yard.

Needle was the kid who tries way too hard in gym class but no one complained because WOW can she kick that ball

Like all metal and electric-based characters, Nickel can zap people by touching them, if the conditions are right. The only exceptions to this are Balloon and Goo since they are made of rubber-based materials.

Pillow smells like lavender

Match has autism

Genders

Leafy is bigender, she/it

Golf Ball is unlabelled (who has time for silly things like this when there's more important things (science) to be done??)

Book is mtf

Pillow uses she/it

All the algebraliens are agender

One uses he/she Two uses they/he Four uses he/they/it Five uses she/they Six uses she/he/they Seven uses he/it Eight uses he/they Nine uses any/all Ten uses he/they Fourteen uses it/he Fifteen uses she/he X uses he/they Pi, tau, euler, and i all use they/it Lollipop is mtf

Fanny is a demigirl

all the mechanical minds are agender and just go with whatever pronouns

Pie (canonically?) Uses she/they

Pen is ftm

Sexualities (there's a lot here)

(INHALE)

8 ball is aroace Balloony is gay Barf Bag is asexual panromantic Basketball is lesbian Bell is ace lesbian Black Hole is aroace/gay Blocky is gay Bomby is aroace Book is lesbian Bottle is pan Bracelety is VERY lesbian Bubble is lesbian Cake is gay Clock is demi/bi Cloudy is gay Coiny is bisexual David is ??? Donut is pan Dora is ??? Eggy is demi lesbian Eraser is bicurious (thought he was gay for AGES until Teardrop) Fanny is demi/pan Firey is straight Flower is lesbian Foldy is straight Fries is straight Gaty is unlabelled (sexuality doesn't matter to her as long as she has friends, and if she falls in love, oh well!) Gelatin is aroace Golf Ball is unlabelled (who has time for silly things like this when there's more important things (science) to be done??) Ice Cube is unlabelled (too focused on REVENGE >:D) Leafy is bi Liy is demi/ace Lollipop is lesbian (obviously) Loser is gay Marker is asexual Match is lesbian Naily is bicurious Needle is bi Nickel is gay Pen is gay Pencil is lesbian Pillow is lesbian Pin is bi Price Tag is unlabelled (rimshot) Profily is aroace Puffball is pan Remote is unlabelled/asexual Robot Flower is unlabelled (what is sex.?) Roboty is aroace Ruby is lesbian Saw is lesbian Snowball is straight Spongy is aromantic but wouldn't pass up on an opportunity to have any relationship Stapy is straight Taco is demiro/demisexual Teardrop is bi Tennis Ball is straight Tree is pan TV is aroace Winner is gay/ace Woody is bi/ace Yellow Face is ??? All the Speaker Boxes are aroace Four is bi Two is unlabelled X is bi

#object shows #battle for dream island #bfdi #inanimate insanity #miscellaneous #my headcanons #Long post #headcanons

[the-sky-queen]

Avatar the Last Airbender theories I had that turned out to be false

So unlike literally everyone else, I didn't grow up with ATLA and discovered it sometime when I was in high school. Can't remember exactly when. Because of this, I created a few theories as I was watching for the first time, trying to predict where the show would go. All of these ended up being completely wrong, but they're fun, so I thought I'd share them!

Zhao becomes the Firelord

Sooooo funny story with this one. I actually had two exposures to ATLA before I actually watched it and one of them was THE SERIES FINALE. I didn't see the whole thing, but I did catch a huge chunk of the ending. So before I even started watching officially, I knew Zuko was gonna be a good guy, which is why I never gave up on him. XD This also means that I got to see Ozai's FACE.

Ozai doesn't show his face in book 1, and by the time I started watching, I'd forgotten what Ozai's voice sounded like. I also had very little idea of who I'd seen Aang fighting in the finale was in the first place. So I kinda took one look at Zhao and said "YES. HIM." The theory went like this:

Zhao slowly climbs the ranks of the Fire Nation over the course of the series, growing more and more power hungry as time goes on. Eventually, he gets to the point where he overthrows/assassinates Ozai and becomes the new Firelord. Aang has to fight him in the finale and Zuko has to take the throne that's rightfully his back.

Imagine my disappointment when Zhao got eaten in the book 1 finale. XD I was so convinced of this theory that I didn't even believe he was really gone for a looong time after this.

2. Zuko is a Double-Bender

Remember the Blue Spirit episode? Of course you do. Well, there's this split second clip as Zuko's rescuing Aang where he picks up a bucket of water and splashes it on a guard or something. I completely missed the bucket on my first watch of this episode and concluded that whoever this Blue Spirit guy was, he was a Water Bender. I then proceeded to get my mind absolutely BLOWN when I realized the Blue Spirit was actually Zuko. I started going crazy with theories that Zuko was secretly a Fire Bender AND a Water Bender. Hence, a Double-Bender. I asked a friend about this theory of mind and she sadly debunked it for me. However, this is still my favorite ATLA theory to this day and I have an entire AU centered around it. One day I'll get around to actually writing it.

3. Jet is a major recurring character

So the other time that I got ATLA spoilers before watching it was when I accidentally half-watched most of Jet's introductory episode. The friend I was with at the time groaned in annoyance at Jet, leading me to believe that he showed up A LOT and he was the worst thing this show had to offer. I fully expected Jet to pop up ALL THE TIME and make a nuisance of himself. I was relieved to discover he doesn't come in nearly as much as I thought he would.

4. Ba Sing Se stuff

Rapid fire round! I thought a lot of things about everything that happened in Ba Sing Se:

Team Avatar all get brainwashed by the Dai Lee except for like Sokka or someone, who then becomes wanted by the entire brainwashed city and has to figure out how to reverse all this.

Zuko happily lives out the rest of his days with Uncle Iroh at the tea shop and never runs into Team Avatar again.

5. Azula alone

Team Avatar frees the entire city of the brainwashing. Specifically Joo Dee.

Yeah, I thought all of Ba Sing Se was brainwashed, not just some people.

I was 100% convinced that Mai and Ty Lee were going to betray Azula at some point during book 2 and then join Team Avatar. I guess this kinda happened? Kinda?

Aaaaand this is all I can think of for now. I'll make another post if I think of more theories I had, but this is about it. :)

#Sky Queen #avatar the last airbender #ATLA #General Ozai #Zuko #Aang #Sokka #Azula #Double-Bender Zuko #ATLA theory

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Justice for Barty Crouch Jr: Part 1/2

(Part 2)

This is a bit of a weird theory, and I'll confess, some of the evidence is not all that conclusive. But I didn't see anyone mention anything about this anywhere else...

When I reread the books recently, I noticed I really liked Mad-Eye Moody in Goblet of Fire. Moody in the fourth book is actually one of my favorite characters, he makes the top 10. But then I reached Order of the Phoenix and realized (again) that I hate Moody's guts.

The only conclusion I could draw was that I really liked Barty Crouch Jr. because, Moody in book 4, wasn't really Moody. So, I went back to Goblet of Fire to try and find out who Barty is, how his behavior as Moody, differed from the real deal in the later books, and why I liked him when I didn't like the real Moody.

And let's just say, I came to some interesting conclusions...

This post ended up being pretty long, so I've divided it up into two. But my thesis is:

Barty was a Death eater, but he didn't torture the Longbottoms.

He didn't want Harry to be hurt during the Tornoment and actually cared about him.

And I can prove it!

Reasons for Doubt

When reviewing all the scenes of Barty Jr, it was made clear pretty quickly that Barty wasn't really trying to fool anyone. Actually, he seemed to be actively sabotaging himself.

“Maybe someone’s hoping Potter is going to die for it,” said Moody, with the merest trace of a growl. An extremely tense silence followed these words. Ludo Bagman, who was looking very anxious indeed, bounced nervously up and down on his feet and said, “Moody, old man ... what a thing to say!” “We all know Professor Moody considers the morning wasted if he hasn’t discovered six plots to murder him before lunchtime,” said Karkaroff loudly. “Apparently he is now teaching his students to fear assassination too. An odd quality in a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Dumbledore, but no doubt you had your reasons.”

(Goblet of Fire, page 279)

From the very beginning, Barty is outright telling everyone what happened. And exactly how:

“Because they hoodwinked a very powerful magical object!” said Moody. “It would have needed an exceptionally strong Confundus Charm to bamboozle that goblet into forgetting that only three schools compete in the tournament. ... I’m guessing they submitted Potter’s name under a fourth school, to make sure he was the only one in his category. ...” “You seem to have given this a great deal of thought, Moody,” said Karkaroff coldly, “and a very ingenious theory it is — though of course, I heard you recently got it into your head that one of your birthday presents contained a cunningly disguised basilisk egg, and smashed it to pieces before realizing it was a carriage clock. So you’ll understand if we don’t take you entirely seriously. ...”

(Goblet of Fire, pages 279-280)

He goes as far as to explain how he got Harry into the tournament. To the point even Karkaroff thinks it's strange Moody would bother putting so much thought into it. And he's right, it is super strange.

Barty shouldn't be explaining that to the people he is supposedly trying to deceive. It's so incredibly revealing and counterproductive. And it's not that Barty is stupid, he shows he is both intelligent and competent to a degree it's clear that if he really wanted to not be discovered he wouldn't be (he transfigured his father's corpse to a bone and buried it in the forest when he didn't wish to be found out, clearly, he can get away with murder when he wants to). So why all of this? Why try so hard to tell them exactly what's going on? Why is he showing his hand?

It won't be out of character for Moody to not mention all of it. He could not go into as much detail easily. But, he chooses to go into detail about the very method he used to get Harry chosen for the tournament. Like he's trying to get himself caught.

“So . . . whoever conjured the Dark Mark . . .” said Hermione slowly, “were they doing it to show support for the Death Eaters, or to scare them away?” “Your guess is as good as ours, Hermione,” said Mr. Weasley. “But I’ll tell you this . . . it was only the Death Eaters who ever knew how to conjure it. I’d be very surprised if the person who did it hadn’t been a Death Eater once, even if they’re not now. . . .

(Goblet of Fire, page 143)

This is an earlier note from Hermione, and I agree with her 100%. The goal of Barty when casting the Dark Mark isn't clear. We know he is a marked Death Eater, but so are Regulus and Snape. We know not all Death Eaters agreed with everything they did, and some of them had regrets. And it's kind of interesting this idea that Barty cast the Dark Mark to scare the attackers off was planted this early in the book.

“What — what are you doing?” said Professor McGonagall, her eyes following the bouncing ferret’s progress through the air. “Teaching,” said Moody. “Teach — Moody, is that a student?” shrieked Professor McGonagall, the books spilling out of her arms. “Yep,” said Moody.

(Goblet of Fire, page 206)

I wanted to add this scene just because of the "yep" as his response to McGonagall, but this entire conversation, actually is noteworthy. Why? Well, the mannerism.

Moody whom we meet in book 5 and onwards doesn't speak or act like this. The mannerisms and speech patterns we see in this conversation are 100% Barty Crouch Jr. And this isn't the only scene in which his own mannerisms peek through because he isn't putting much effort into his act.

Here are some examples of how Moody talks in book 5, for comparison:

“Well, congratulations,” said Moody, still glaring at Ron with his normal eye, “authority figures always attract trouble, but I suppose Dumbledore thinks you can withstand most major jinxes or he wouldn’t have appointed you. . . .”

(Order of the Pheonix, page 169)

“Yeah, well,” said Moody, “there’s something funny about the Potter kid, we all know that.” “Dumbledore seemed worried about Harry when I spoke to him this morning,” whispered Mrs. Weasley. “ ’Course he’s worried,” growled Moody. “The boy’s seeing things from inside You-Know-Who’s snake. . . . Obviously, Potter doesn’t realize what that means, but if You-Know-Who’s possessing him —”

(Order of the Pheonix, page 491)

He's more gruff, more blunt, more paranoid. He isn't as gentle with Harry and Ron as Barty was (I'll showcase some of these moments later). And he shows full faith in Dumbledore's decisions. Something, Barty doesn't do even when pretending to be Moody.

Some Background

I want to talk about Barty's trial and Azkaban sentence for a bit, along with his relationship with his father as it explains a lot about him as a character...

and a boy in his late teens, who looked nothing short of petrified. He was shivering, his straw-colored hair all over his face, his freckled skin milk-white. The wispy little witch beside Crouch began to rock backward and forward in her seat, whimpering into her handkerchief. Crouch stood up. He looked down upon the four in front of him, and there was pure hatred in his face. “You have been brought here before the Council of Magical Law,” he said clearly, “so that we may pass judgment on you, for a crime so heinous —” “Father,” said the boy with the straw-colored hair. “Father . . . please . . .” “— that we have rarely heard the like of it within this court,” said Crouch, speaking more loudly, drowning out his son’s voice. “We have heard the evidence against you. The four of you stand accused of capturing an Auror — Frank Longbottom — and subjecting him to the Cruciatus Curse, believing him to have knowledge of the present whereabouts of your exiled master, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named —” “Father, I didn’t!” shrieked the boy in chains below. “I didn’t, I swear it, Father, don’t send me back to the dementors —”

(Goblet of Fire, page 594)

Does this look like a hardened Death Eater who was happy to torture the Longbottoms and proud to serve his lord?

No, this is a terrified nineteen-year-old kid who was caught in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people.

Barty continues and calls:

“Mother!” screamed the boy below, and the wispy little witch beside Crouch began to sob, rocking backward and forward. “Mother, stop him, Mother, I didn’t do it, it wasn’t me!”

...

“No! Mother, no! I didn’t do it, I didn’t do it, I didn’t know! Don’t send me there, don’t let him!”

(Goblet of Fire, page 595)

Barty calls this as Bellatrix and the Lestranges are completely calm, taking credit for torturing the Longbottoms. Shouting at Crouch Sr, that Voldemort would return. Barty isn't doing that, he isn't the fanatic Death Eaters, he's a scared boy:

But the boy was trying to fight off the dementors, even though Harry could see their cold, draining power starting to affect him. The crowd was jeering, some of them on their feet, as the woman swept out of the dungeon, and the boy continued to struggle. “I’m your son!” he screamed up at Crouch. “I’m your son!” “You are no son of mine!” bellowed Mr. Crouch, his eyes bulging suddenly. “I have no son!” The wispy witch beside him gave a great gasp and slumped in her seat. She had fainted. Crouch appeared not to have noticed. “Take them away!” Crouch roared at the dementors, spit flying from his mouth. “Take them away, and may they rot there!” “Father! Father, I wasn’t involved! No! No! Father, please!”

(Goblet of Fire, page 596)

Barty keeps swearing he wasn't involved and that he didn't do it. that it wasn't him. Compared to how calm the three Lestranges are — it's clear something's up.

I think Barty is telling the truth here. I think he really didn't torture the Longbottoms.

Barty was still acting as a scared boy, just like in his trial, even in front of only dementors and Death Eaters, when there was no need to act. He is described by Sirius when he arrived in Azkaban:

I saw the dementors bringing him in, watched them through the bars in my cell door. He can’t have been more than nineteen. They took him into a cell near mine. He was screaming for his mother by nightfall. He went quiet after a few days, though . . . they all went quiet in the end . . . except when they shrieked in their sleep. . . .

(Goblet of Fire, page 528)

Barty was young and scared and kept to the same behavior even with no audience to convince — which means it wasn't a lie. It wasn't an act. He really didn't do it.

Sirius talks a little bit about Braty's childhood, his relationship with Crouch Sr and the events leading up to his trial:

“Crouch’s own son was caught with a group of Death Eaters who’d managed to talk their way out of Azkaban. Apparently they were trying to find Voldemort and return him to power.”

...

“Nasty little shock for old Barty, I’d imagine. Should have spent a bit more time at home with his family, shouldn’t he? Ought to have left the office early once in a while . . . gotten to know his own son.” He began to wolf down large pieces of bread. “Was his son a Death Eater?” said Harry. “No idea,” said Sirius, still stuffing down bread. “I was in Azkaban myself when he was brought in. This is mostly stuff I’ve found out since I got out. The boy was definitely caught in the company of people I’d bet my life were Death Eaters — but he might have been in the wrong place at the wrong time, just like the house-elf.”

...

“...Crouch’s fatherly affection stretched just far enough to give his son a trial, and by all accounts, it wasn’t much more than an excuse for Crouch to show how much he hated the boy . . . then he sent him straight to Azkaban.”

(Goblet of Fire, page 528)

Barty, at the time of his trial and sentence, wasn't even for sure a Death Eater. He wasn't actually caught doing anything, he was caught with Death Eaters who escaped an Azkaban sentence, which means Death Eaters other than the Lestranges. This means he wasn't even caught on the scene of the Longbottoms torture, but somewhere else and unrelated. It proves even more that Barty was innocent regarding the torture of Frank and Alice.

We know he was a Death Eater because he could cast the Dark Mark. But, I think he wasn't involved in torturing the Longbottoms or anyone, for that matter. I don't think he had it in him before Azkaban and years of torment by his father.

The other thing of note is Crouch's treatment of his son. He was an absent father, caring more for his ministry position than his family. And we see later in GoF that Barty despises his father. I think he disliked him even before being kept under the imperious curse for years. I think that's what pushed Barty to become a Death Eater, it was something to spite his father. To create a distance between them.

His murder of his father during GoF is probably the only murder he wanted a part of. Actually, his father is the only person we know he killed. He didn't get the chance to kill the real Moody, and he never killed anyone else.

Once the boy [Barty Jr] had died, people started feeling a bit more sympathetic toward the son and started asking how a nice young lad from a good family had gone so badly astray. The conclusion was that his father never cared much for him

(Goblet of Fire, page 529)

More from Sirius that strengthens my former point. Barty joined the Death Eaters, in large to go against his father.

This vendetta against his father is the main reason I believe Barty chooses this plan to aid Voldemort. Well, there are some other reasons, but using the tournament is a good way for him to mess with his father's reputation. That same reputation that was more important to him than his own son.

As a Teacher and Mentor

A lot of fans like to say Remus Lupin was the best DADA teacher Harry had, I'd actually argue it was Moody (aka Barty). I'm saying that because Barty-as-Moody was the one who taught Harry many of the techniques and approaches he keeps going back to in the books.

The constant vigilance that saves him multiple times is from Barty, not the real Moody.

His resistance to the imperious curse.

When Harry quotes Moody in his head under certain situations for the advice he was given, it's not advice from the real Moody but from Barty:

He raised the cup to his lips and then, just as suddenly, lowered it. One of the horrible painted kittens behind Umbridge had great round blue eyes just like Mad-Eye Moody’s magical one, and it had just occurred to Harry what Mad-Eye would say if he ever heard that Harry had drunk anything offered by a known enemy

(Order of the Phoenix, page 630)

This above quote is based on Barty's advice in GoF, not the real Moody.

Barty made Harry think of becoming an auror. He was the one who convinced him he could become one:

“You ever thought of a career as an Auror, Potter?” “No,” said Harry, taken aback. “You want to consider it,” said Moody, nodding and looking at Harry thoughtfully. “Yes, indeed . . . and incidentally . . . I’m guessing you weren’t just taking that egg for a walk tonight?” “Er — no,” said Harry, grinning. “I’ve been working out the clue.” Moody winked at him, his magical eye going haywire again. “Nothing like a nighttime stroll to give you ideas, Potter. . . . See you in the morning. . . .”

(Goblet of Fire, pages 477-478)

Barty did more for Harry's self-esteem than any other teacher.

“Now, that’s more like it!” growled Moody’s voice, and suddenly, Harry felt the empty, echoing feeling in his head disappear. He remembered exactly what was happening, and the pain in his knees seemed to double. “Look at that, you lot ... Potter fought! He fought it, and he damn near beat it! We’ll try that again, Potter, and the rest of you, pay attention — watch his eyes, that’s where you see it — very good, Potter, very good indeed! They’ll have trouble controlling you!”

(Goblet of Fire, page 232)

In the above scene, Barty is delighted by Harry's resistance of the imperious. He is so proud and fond. I already mentioned and will continue showing how Barty did very little acting when he pretended to be Moody, as such, I don't think he's pretending here either. I think he actually is delighted.

And, I mean, think about it, why would a servant loyal to Voldemort teach Harry Potter how to resist the imperius? Why would he keep practicing with him throughout the year to make sure he was good at it? Why make sure Harry knows people would want to control him and he should make it hard for them?

The only conclusion I can come to is that he is trying to help Harry from a limited position. Why and How will be discussed later.

Neville was standing alone, halfway up the passage, staring at the stone wall opposite him with the same horrified, wide-eyed look he had worn when Moody had demonstrated the Cruciatus Curse. “Neville?” Hermione said gently. “Neville, what — ?” But an odd clunking noise sounded behind them, and they turned to see Professor Moody limping toward them. All four of them fell silent, watching him apprehensively, but when he spoke, it was in a much lower and gentler growl than they had yet heard. “It’s all right, sonny,” he said to Neville. “Why don’t you come up to my office? Come on . . . we can have a cup of tea. ...” Neville looked even more frightened at the prospect of tea with Moody. He neither moved nor spoke. Moody turned his magical eye upon Harry. “You all right, are you, Potter?” “Yes,” said Harry, almost defiantly. Moody’s blue eye quivered slightly in its socket as it surveyed Harry. Then he said, “You’ve got to know. It seems harsh, maybe, but you’ve got to know. No point pretending ... well ... come on, Longbottom, I’ve got some books that might interest you.”

(Goblet of Fire, page 219)

And he wasn't only the best DADA teacher for Harry, he was the best teacher for Neville too. He actually helped the son of the Longbottoms he was sent to Azkaban for torturing.

Just, he is the only adult attempting to build up Neville's confidence in himself and his abilities. He encourages Neville's love of Herbology and doesn't ridicule him like most other adults in Neville's life.

Also in the above quote, he clearly wants to tell Harry more. "but you’ve got to know", he says. He is trying to prepare Harry for what's to come. Why would he do that if he wants him dead?

As a Defender of Harry

To continue off Barty actually steps up to defend Harry a lot throughout the book. Even at times, he won't necessarily have to. I mean, the real Moody was never this protective of Harry. Sure, he kept him safe, but he didn't really care for Harry's feelings and self-esteem. Barty did.

“Yeah, that’s Harry Potter,” said a growling voice from behind them. Professor Karkaroff spun around. Mad-Eye Moody was standing there, leaning heavily on his staff, his magical eye glaring unblinkingly at the Durmstrang headmaster. The color drained from Karkaroff’s face as Harry watched. A terrible look of mingled fury and fear came over him

(Goblet of Fire, page 258)

He's scaring Karkaroff and the Durmstrang students away from Harry. The moment before this quote had the Durmstrang students and Karkaroff noticing Harry for the first time as they were leaving the Great Hall on the day they arrived at Hogwarts. They all freeze and stare at Harry, knowing his story and probably about to ask him questions, it's not like Karkaroff would've done anything in the Great Hall. But Moody (Barty) steps in to fend off Harry's discomfort! Hes not even in actual physical danger! Just discomfort!

Harry hesitated. He’d been afraid of this — but he hadn’t told Cedric, and he certainly wasn’t going to tell Moody, that Hagrid had broken the rules. “It’s all right,” said Moody, sitting down and stretching out his wooden leg with a groan. “Cheating’s a traditional part of the Tri-wizard Tournament and always has been.” “I didn’t cheat,” said Harry sharply. “It was — a sort of accident that I found out.” Moody grinned. “I wasn’t accusing you, laddie. I’ve been telling Dumbledore from the start, he can be as high-minded as he likes, but you can bet old Karkaroff and Maxime won’t be. They’ll have told their champions everything they can. They want to win. They want to beat Dumbledore. They’d like to prove he’s only human.”

(Goblet of Fire, pages 343-344)

Moody is glad Harry knows about the dragons, and that could be explained by wanting him to win so he could get to the graveyard (that plan had so many problems in it that I'll get to later) but that isn't the only thing he reveals here. He calls out Dumbledore and his attitude. He shows his dislike towards Dumbledore and his moral flexibility regarding cheating - two things the real Moody will never say. And he would definitely not phrase them like this. This whole conversation — that's all Barty.

Barty, who is actually encouraging Harry and belittling Dumbledore.

That sentence about proving Dumbledore's human, I think Barty shares that feeling. He agrees with the other headmasters on that. Even if he hates Karkaroff's guts.

Because he actually does hate all the Death Eaters that got away genuinely, but not for the same reasons as, let's say, Bellatrix. Bellatrix dislikes them for their lack of loyalty to their lord; Barty hates them out of envy.

Barty was sent to Azkaban for his mark even if he never tortured or killed anyone. And these other Death Eaters, ones he might know killed or tortured, got out scott-free. He was fought alongside them and still sent to the dementors instead of being let go. And he is bitter.

Also, important to remember, that a year in Azkaban and then twelve years under the Imperius curse didn't leave him unscathed. He is not mentally or emotionally well or anything close to it when we meet him in the books.

“Well, I’m not going to tell you,” said Moody gruffly. “I don’t show favoritism, me. I’m just going to give you some good, general advice. And the first bit is — play to your strengths.” “I haven’t got any,” said Harry, before he could stop himself. “Excuse me,” growled Moody, “you’ve got strengths if I say you’ve got them. Think now. What are you best at?”

(Goblet of Fire, page 344)

I love this scene. Like, this is the first ever time an adult with authority, a teacher, tells Harry how great he is. I talked about the fact Harry is clever and magically powerful but has really low self-esteem. And Barty actually argues with him. Bart (as Moody) makes him believe he could become something. That he has things he is good at.

One of this book's antagonists is the first person to tell Harry he has strengths. That's just all levels of messed up.

It shows Barty Crouch Jr actually does more for Harry's emotional well-being than any other professor he had. More than McGonagall, more than Lupin. Actually, the only adult who tries to help Harry with more care than Barty, is Sirius Black, Harry's godfather. It's just insane that Barty, a Death Eater, actually understood Harry and went out of his way to help with his insecurities and make him comfortable more than Molly Weasley did.

Now, let's talk about the Farret Incident because it's interesting too. both regarding his defense of Harry and his hatred of the Death Eaters that got away.

“I don’t think so!” roared Moody, pointing his wand at the ferret again — it flew ten feet into the air, fell with a smack to the floor, and then bounced upward once more. “I don’t like people who attack when their opponent’s back’s turned,” growled Moody as the ferret bounced higher and higher, squealing in pain. “Stinking, cowardly, scummy thing to do. ...”

(Goblet of Fire, page 205)

Barty steps in to defend Harry because he does it a lot. It's why I placed this moment in this section. One would expect someone who wants Harry to die to not mind if he was cursed a bit, it's not like Draco was about to kill him, but no, he defends him even when no one sees him there.

But specifically in this incident, I want to mention how personal he gets about this. Barty's disdain towards the Death Eaters that escaped Azkaban is very real and very dangerous to Draco. He's furious they didn't need to spend a year in hell on earth only to then be enslaved by a curse for 12 years by their father who kept them like a dirty secret in the basement.

As I mentioned above, I don't think Barty is mentally sound, but I think he genuinely cares about Harry and didn't torture the Longbottoms.

In the next post, I go through the final scene of Barty in the book, and explain the whole plan Barty had.

Part 2 >>

#harry potter #harry potter thoughts #wizarding world #harry potter theory #hollowedtheory #hp theory #overthinking #first wizarding war #death eaters #barty crouch jr #barty crouch junior #goblet of fire #harry potter and the goblet of fire #gof #barty analysis #bartemius crouch jr #bartemius crouch junior #hp meta #hp thoughts #harry potter meta

[cosmerelists]

If Warbreaker and Stormlight characters met each other...

[Spoilers for Warbreaker & for Stormlight!]

Stormlight characters have previously encountered Mistborn characters from both Era 1 and Era 2. But in honor of my finally rereading Warbreaker, let’s see what that matchup might be like!

1. Adolin & Siri

Adolin: THREE new elaborate dresses? Every morning?!

Siri: Yes!! And they always had some more in the back too, just in case!

Adolin: And they just...destroyed the ones you didn’t wear?

Siri: I think so! They NEVER repeated options and I know they burned the ones I did wear!

Adolin: Who was designing & crafting half a dozen royal gowns every single day??

Siri: I don’t know! But they must have been AMAZING at their jobs--and very okay with their beautiful work being destroyed.

Adolin: It’s both a fashion triumph and a fashion crime at the same time!

Siri: I know!!

2. Elhokar & Vivenna

Vivenna: And I hired these mercenary bodyguards to help me stop the war but it turned out they were working against me and tried to kill me!

Elhokar: Omg that’s my worst nightmare!

Elhokar: It happened to me too! One of my own guards tried to assassinate me!

Vivenna: That’s horrible! How come?

Elhokar: Oh some mix-up where I threw his innocent grandparents in jail & left them there until they died.

Vivenna: ...

Vivenna: And you’re the good guy in this story?

Elhokar: Hey!

Vivenna: J-Just asking!

3. Lopen & Susebron

Susebron: For fifty years, I had no tongue. They cut it out.

Susebron: Until one day, a god gave his life to heal me.

Lopen: That’s an amazing story, gon!

Lopen: I was a one-armed Herdazian for a while.

Lopen: Then I grew my own arm back. And nobody died! 

Susebron: ...

Lopen: Hey, so basically, I’m stronger than a God King!

Lopen: Can I stick you to a wall?

4. Sadeas & Denth

Denth: Funny thing about being a mercenary.

Denth: You literally tell people that you’re just in it for the money. That you’re not a good person. 

Denth: And they’re still shocked when you betray them for the money!

Sadeas: I know what you mean.

Sadeas: I told Dalinar that his honor would get him killed.

Sadeas: And then when I took advantage of his honor and left him to die, he was like...surprised Pikachu face.

Denth: [tsks] No one values honesty anymore.

5. Weatherlove & Bridge Four

[Author’s note: Weatherlove is just a random Returned that Lightsong hangs out with once.]

Drehy: Wow! Look at this small but muscular man!

Weatherlove: Small?? I-I’ll have you know that we gods TOWER over the common man!

Teft: I mean, you’re only a little taller than Kaladin and Moash.

Rock: And shorter than me, ha!

Sigzil: The Fused are quite a bit taller than you.

Skar: You do look strong, though! I bet you could carry a bridge--with practice.

Weatherlove: ...I hate this place.

6. Shallan & Lightsong

Lightsong: I hear that you are one of the wittiest characters in your book.

Shallan: I’ve been known to turn a phrase or two. You as well?

Lightsong: Written to be someone who could thrive in an Oscar Wilde play!

Shallan: Why do you suppose we’re talking about wittiness rather than actually saying anything witty?

Lightsong: I have to imagine the blogger doesn’t have any idea how to write dialogue between characters like us!

Shallan: Tragic, really.

Lightsong: A true loss for all. 

7. Jasnah & Blushweaver

Jasnah: As a Veristitalian, I’ll admit I’m interested to talk with another planet’s Goddess of Honesty.

Blushweaver: Yes, and with the two of us together, one truth has already been made plain.

Jasnah: Oh? What is that?

Blushweaver: Looking at us, it’s clear that honesty must be stored in the boobs.

Jasnah: ...

Blushweaver: They don’t call you a VerisTITalian for nothing!

Jasnah: Why do I bother?

8. Kaladin, Adolin, Renarin & Vasher

Kaladin: It’s YOU!

Vasher: Yes, yes. It’s me.

Adolin: Stormfather! It’s YOU!

Vasher: So we’ve established.

Renarin: It’s YOU!!!

Vasher: Yes, yes. Everyone is so observant today.

Hoid: Hey!

Hoid: Stop stealing my bit!!!

#cosmerelists #cosmere #stormlight archive #warbreaker #Adolin #Siri #Vivenna #Elhokar #Kaladin #Renarin #Vasher #Denth #Sadeas #Blushweaver #Jasnah #Shallan #Lightsong #Weatherlove #Teft #Szigil #Skar #Drehy #Rock #Lopen #Susebron

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Great Hunt! Chapter 34: The Wheel Weaves

What's in the box? Some people already know and some people don't. As a general rule, if you're in the "don't" category and you hate spoilers, you shouldn't keep reading. If you only know cause you're reading The Great Hunt or you've seen season 2 of the show but you don't want spoilers past that point, you also shouldn't keep reading. I spoil everything.

This chapter begins with the Wheel icon because big things are happening, like assassinations and discovery of the Horn.

He had meant the choices to be a private comment on their stupidity, never dreaming any of them might listen, much less be intrigued. Intrigued in a way. They had demanded more of the same, but they had laughed in the wrong places, at the wrong things. They had laughed at him, too, apparently thinking he would not notice, or else that a full purse stuffed in his pocket would heal any wounds.

Another sign of how divorced the nobility in this country is from the commonfolk and by extension reality. They have two very different storytelling cultures and little overlap on anything. And yet Thom's bitterness about this has a hint of hypocrisy - he complains they thought he wouldn't notice their mockery even as he had thought they wouldn't notice his.

He was still not sure what he had intended to say. Rand was gone with his friends, and the Aes Sedai. It left a feeling of something not done.

The important thing is that you tried, and of course that now you can be extra angry at yourself for what happened because you delayed.

She rolled limply onto her back, staring up at him, glazed eyes open wide above the gash across her throat. The side of the bed that had been hidden by her body was dark and sodden.

I mean, what is there to say? Girl had great potential as a person and as a character and all that matters, to the point where she certainly stops getting mentioned after only a book or two, is that she spurs Thom to act now.

“The Game? I’m not mixed up in Daes Dae’mar! Who would want to kill me for the Great Game?”

Thom's protestations ring even more hollow. Where Rand's naivety is excusable, Thom's speaks only to how out of practice he is. Dude met with someone everyone thought was a lord, is performing for other lords, and thinks he's out of the Game? He basically chose to keep playing.

And there has been a woman, a lady, I have seen more than once while asking after him.

Lanfear meanwhile is so contemptuous of the Third Agers that she doesn't even care to disguise herself properly among them, I guess. I'm surprised she doesn't just spy herself though.

“If you mean Barthanes, you’re too late. Everybody’s talking about it already. He is dead. His servants found him this morning, torn to pieces in his bedchamber. The only way they knew it was him was his head stuck on a spike over the fireplace.”

Forget who killed Asmodean, who the heck killed Barthanes? It probably wasn't Galldrian; killing a random is one thing but having his rival brutally eviscerated is another. It couldn't have been Fain, he was already gone. Ishamael or Lanfear might have done it by way of the gholam, but what would piss either of them off enough? The Horn going to Toman Head is hardly Barthanes' mistake and doesn't really interfere with Lanfear's desired outcomes at all. Plus if they did use the gholam, what did it get up to all this time between now and its first appearance?

“These aren’t Barthanes’s men, Thom. At least, that one isn’t.” She nodded toward the fat man. “It’s the worst kept secret in Cairhien that he works for House Riatin. For Galldrian.”

This vaguely points at Galldrian being responsible for Barthanes' death as well I suppose, but like I said the method seems entirely out of character.

“Perhaps you had better think about leaving, too. It looks as if someone is firing the granaries.”

I'm also going to rule out the rioters as an unlikely suspect on the grounds that Barthanes' death is probably the inciting incident for them, not the first, implausbly well-hidden step. But seriously. Who did it?

*considers Verin for a moment*

Nah. She's the least suspicious person alive.

The pack horse bearing his precious burden bumped his leg, and he kicked it in the ribs without looking; the animal snorted and jerked back to the end of the lead he had tied to his saddle.

So obviously the part that immediately follows this about how Fain fed the horse's previous owner to the Trollocs is way, way eviler, but let's just appreciate exactly how dedicated to unpleasantness Fain has become.

Men gathered more information on the invaders, as if they actually believed they would eventually do something with what they knew, but they sometimes tried to hold back. Women, by and large, seemed interested in going on with their lives whoever their rulers were, yet they noted details men did not, and they talked more quickly once they stopped screaming.

I kind of don't buy this? Random women from every village are being taken away and never seen again. I'm not a woman myself but I don't think it's a stretch to say that such actions would put most women on edge for fear of the Seanchan coming back and taking more tribute, since they don't know about the damane selection process yet.

The people hurried about their business with eyes down, bowing whenever soldiers passed, but the Seanchan paid them no mind. It all seemed peaceful on the surface, despite the armored Seanchan in the streets and the ships in the harbor, but Fain could sense the tension underneath. He always did well where men were tense and afraid.

1) I'm very sad that this element of the occupation disappears in later books it rings a lot truer; everyone should be afraid.

2) Is Fain saying thinking this in the sense of looking back over his career as a Darkfriend and how he always did better scaring them with peddler's tales, or is this the sum total of his evil reflecting on Aridhol, the Ways, and more? Both?

Women went in and out of a house across the street, women linked by silver leashes, but he ignored them. He knew about damane from the villagers. They might be of some use later, but not now.

Seriously: what use can Fain be imagining for damane, considering his current power set?

He was always confident, but never more than where lords feared an assassin’s knife from their own followers.

This is definitely more all of the evil within Fain than his own experiences, as we have no reason to think he was ever an assassin in his backstory.

“I have seen chests such as this, chests from the Age of Legends,” the High Lord said, “though none so fine. They are meant to be opened only by those who know the pattern, but I—ah!”

Major points to Turak who easily sidesteps Fain's plans entirely by accident. As much as I loathe the Seanchan, I despise Fain more.

Still holding the Horn and the dagger, Turak looked at the cabinet, then away. He said nothing, but the other Seanchan snapped quick orders, and in moments men in plain woolen robes appeared through a door behind the screens bearing another small table.

For all the shit I've given the Cairhienien nobility, I suppose I also need to offer them some credit for at least not expecting their servants to interpret their every facial gesture. Rich people on every continent desperately need to get over themselves.

Fain could stand it no longer. He reached for the dagger.

Fain isn't anywhere near as slick as he thinks he is, considering he went about thirty seconds without trying to nab his precious. Fucking Gollum does better about this stuff bro, learn from him.

“I am to sound it.” Turak’s tone was flat. “And break the White Tower. Again, why? You claim to obey, await, and serve, but this is a land of oath-breakers. Why do you give your land to me? Do you have some private quarrel with these . . . women?”

And again, we see that Fain's schemes immediately crash and burn when given the briefest exposure to people who know what schemes are. He's just like all these nobles in his own twisted way: he's gotten so used to having the Darkfriends jump when he says jump (or die) that he doesn't understand why no one else will willingly be his puppets.

Turak was silent so long that Fain began to wonder if he needed further convincing; he was ready with more, as much as was required.

Pro-tip for those of you who find themselves in situations where you need to lie: less is actually much better than more. We can thus conclude that Fain isn't even good at lying, despite the fact that he's spent his whole career as a liar!

“But, High Lord,” Fain protested, “you must—” He found himself lying on his side, his head ringing. Only when his eyes cleared did he see the man with the pale braid rubbing his knuckles and realize what had happened. “Some words,” the fellow said softly, “are never used to the High Lord.” Fain decided how the man was going to die.

I myself am rooting for neither of these fellows, both so awful in their own right. And note again how the Seanchan veneer of civility disappears at a moment's notice without warning. There's no way a populace can happily adopt the Seanchan customs as a whole, not without rebellion after rebellion breaking out.

He had not even known of the existence of an Empress until Turak mentioned her, but access to a ruler again . . . that opened new paths, new plans. Access to a ruler with the might of the Seanchan beneath her and the Horn of Valere in her hands. Much better than making this Turak a Great King.

It's funny that he thinks this is an option for him, when his best case scenario is that he ends up doing exactly what Semirhage will do and thus completely destroys his advantage and his worst case scenario is that Semirhage shows up and starts experimenting with an absolutely fascinating case study.

If I kept the Horn of Valere, all between myself and the throne would think I meant to be first hereafter, and while the Empress, of course, wishes that we contend with one another so that the strongest and most cunning will follow her, she currently favors her second daughter, and she would not look well on any threat to Tuon.

I'm sure that name won't be relevant later!

“The Empress’s Listeners may be anywhere,” Turak continued. “They may be anyone. Huan was born and raised in the House of Aladon, and his family for eleven generations before him, yet even he could be a Listener.”

Secret police: a surefire sign that your civilization is doing just great for itself and won't collapse under its own bloodlust in fifty years or less.

At the Court of the Nine Moons, in Seandar, one such as you could be given to the Seekers for a shift of your eye, for a misspoken word, for a whim. Are you still eager?

I'm sure that Nine Moons thing won't come up again anytime soon either.

And again we see more evidence that the only reason the Empire is holding itself up is its consistent expansionary policies that consistently deliver it new victims to burn through. If the Empire's borders were ever truly stable it would collapse immediately under the tyranny of Seandar.

A young man, but vile in the Shadow beyond belief, with a lying, devious tongue. In many places he has claimed to be many things, but always the Trollocs come when he is there, High Lord. Always the Trollocs come . . . and kill.

Fain is not even a good Aes Sedai liar, since Caemlyn is still doing just great for itself at the moment, as are a variety of the places he passed on the road to it.

Fain let the grimacing Huan pull him out of the room, hardly even listening to the snarled lecture on what would happen if he ever again failed to leave Lord Turak’s presence when given permission to do so.

Considering that Fain was allegedly giving good information about a coming threat, this seems like another really shitty policy on the part of the Seanchan. The illusion of order that is easily cleared away by chaos.

Sadly, the illusion of time is less easily cleared away and ours is up because the chapter is done. Next time: Steddings!

#let's read #wheel of time #wot #robert jordan #wheel of time spoilers #wot spoilers #thom merrilin #dena #zera #padan fain #turak aladon #huan

[1im-perfect1]

Thinking about Nandor and his word choice how much of an open book in a foreign language he is, how he wears his heart on his sleeve while not even comprehending his own decisions and motives and him being dumb not stupid.

The sound effect in 3x08 when he says “I relinquish you of your service” it’s genuine all of season 3 is him slowly changing his behavior with Guillermo and the whole “vampirism is a curse” feels real and genuine because he’s being disingenuous, he has to tell 1 truth and 3 lies “I care about you” drowned by “My cold dead heart” a lie “your just okay personality” another lie “just a little bit” the biggest lie after the heaviest truth, from then on familiar is used as an insult he doesn’t really think of Guillermo that way, 3x09 and 3x10 are all about Nandor playing a part (and all of season 4), 3x09 is pure survival and self-preservation he’s hurting so it means it’s everyone else’s fault, they’re all beneath him and still underneath all the coping there’s tenderness that spills out with Guillermo (that he was so scared was gonna grow apart and instead Nandor is the one that constantly tries to get away).

3x10 is the most strategic Nandor and the most serious we see him, he’s carrying out a plan and that’s why I don’t think Nandor is as stupid or oblivious (as the show might make you think) he knows Guillermo enough to play him, he starts talking about leaving when he hears the door opening, he knows he hasn’t told anything to Guillermo (he would have been the first to know), he mocks him about not being a vampire and giving him one last duty, but at the same time has already a goal in mind he finds someone to plan the journey to rid Guillermo of having to work, he gets a little too excited when he sees Guillermo because he’s getting really happy about it to then before the fight recompose himself and go back into character telling things that would make Guillermo mad, the “You shooed away some assassins who gives a shit” is such a dead giveaway after him fighting a whole month to save Guillermo’s life and how grateful he was about having his life saved also I’m 75% convinced that he knew about the hypnosis...tiny problem he underestimated Guillermo’s reaction but I also think that’s why Nandor is so interested in him, he’s unpredictable.

But Nandor can’t predict others’ actions (Laszlo’s) and can't see through anyone else's lenses so the only way he can explain to himself why Guillermo didn’t come is outright rejection, it’s setting yourself up for failure "the worst outcome" accepting it without listening because you have to come to peace with it, knowing that if you heard it from that person it would tear you apart so you forgive because you don’t want to hear it. But how does he get Guillermo to stay now? He relinquished him of his service in 3x08 so he’s not his employee anymore and in 3x10 he gave him his last duty...mmm he’s been really lonely lately...without...him...check mate, he’s gonna propose in the same exact way as last time but this time to be his best man hoping that he will be jealous...he isn’t...Guillermo’s gonna stop him because it’s too hasty and ridiculous...he doesn’t...he’s gonna ask him impossible stuff for the wedding...he gets everything and also gets Nadja and The Guide to help him...he’s gonna object to the wedding...he’s the only person that doesn’t, well at least Nandor got what he wanted but his wife stops him from spending time with Guillermo and he has a boyfriend, if Guillermo likes his boyfriend what if he likes Guillermo’s boyfriend too but he can’t steal him away that would be cruel and he’s not a cheater, if there’s 2 of the same thing are there 2 or just 1? Everything is resolved him and Guillermo like the same thing but they’re not the same thing but they are, Guillermo is being confusing first he says they are the same thing but when Nandor tries to give him his Freddie he says it’s different, this isn’t fun anymore...well everything is back to normal and it’s wonderful isn't it? Guillermo isn’t his familiar, nor bodyguard, nor best man but here he is and single too...should he question why he’s still there or why he wants him there...nah

#don't know how many words long Nandor's meta no one will read #it got really erratic towards the end but his thought process is just too deranged to verbalize #No one understands Nandor in the same emotionally avoidant nd way I do #what we do in the shadows #wwdits #wwdits spoilers #nandor the relentless #guillermo de la cruz #nandermo #nandor x guillermo #wwdits freddie

[qrowscant-art]

What artists/books/movies/music/etc would you say have been most formative to your style/subject matter? What inspires you most?

oh maaaannnn there’s a lot. what inspires me most is the fact that if i don’t draw or create regularly i turn evil <3 (thats mostly a joke, but i do get very irritable if i dont have some kind of creative outlet haha)

but here’s a too-long list of things that have rewritten my brain chemistry 🥰 dont take this as a list of reccs because some of these are 100% not for everyone LOL

for movies,

the alien franchise (except three fuck 3), the thing, 2001: ASO, colossus: the forbin project, videodrome, and mad god have all done irreparable psychic damage to me. if you can handle it, pleaaaaseeeeee watch mad god. absolutely gorgeous movie. i wish i looked like the assassin (shoutout 2 data for showing me it)

electric dreams is also good but it feels weird sliding it between those other reccs 😭 the tonal whiplash

for books,

house of leaves, obviously. absolutely disorienting narrative that was very fun to pick through and jump around. johnny’s sections are some of my favorite pieces of character writing, and i adore how the text and formatting turns the book into a labyrinth. my only complaint is figuring out similar things in css is HARD.

things have gotten worse since we last spoke is a disgusting novella (said with the utmost affection). its not something i can recommend to most people because it deals with some sickening topics, but it def shaped my love of horror

ihnmaims and tuf voyaging are two short story collections i read when i was far too young, and still enjoy today. also colossus the forbin project (the book). good 👍

the locked tomb series! what else is there to say but Jod Damn! alecto please

for games,

marathon trilogy! me when the ai have issues disorder🥰🫶 it can be difficult to play (use walkthroughs or mods to make things a little easier if you arent in the mood to be frustrated), but its worth it imo. shotgun and mousetrap if you even care btw

cecile richard and kitty horrorshow have been integralllll to my artistic development. cycles and gutless by cecile is the reason I started writing in twine, actually. still some of my favorite works :^)

disco elysium is amazing but everyone knows that. i think making readers feel uncomfortable and kind of pathetic is good, actually.

scorn is like. absolutely gorgeous. the game plays awful imo but its worth it for the eyecandy of lovingly crafted biomechanical horror. i got the art book as a gift and now it permanently resides on my desk.

signalis is a recent one but i watched my friend play through some of it and am itching to try it because AUGH. the vibes are immaculate (even if some of the combat is annoying hehe). @ that one anon who sent me a signalis recc, YOU WERE RIGHT. IT IS 100% MY KIND OF THING

there’s a LOTTT more, many of my inspirations i often forget about because i have an awful memory. i approach a lot of media consumption with the intent of “what can i learn from this?” (both narratively and mechanically) and fucking loooooveeee deconstructing things i enjoy. my toys 🥰

#mrdraws #inquiries #this kept me busy at work HAHA. sorry for the word salad

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Round 3

Propaganda why Marinette Dupain-Cheng is insufferable:

She easily gets away with bad, stalkerish behavior, it always feels like she can ‘do no wrong’ unless the show wants us to pity her, and the show writers want us to think she is a quirky and socially awkward girl when throughout the series we see her be friends with basically everyone in Paris with many connections to high up places.

I get she has social anxiety but the way she goes about stalking Adrien is kind of the worst like she even has creep shots of him hanging in her room? That’s weird. I think Adrien’s going through enough without having to deal with the main character being his stalker lol. I know they’re (spoilers) at this point but in the beginning it was so sus

In the newest season, Marinette hides the fact that Hawkmoth was Adrien’s dad. This leads to the bastard getting a statue and honored as a hero after his death. Adrien now never gets to know the fact that his abusive and neglectful father was the one trying to kill him and is instead proud of him.

Her crush on Adrien is like a black hole for her character. Things she’s done because of it:

1) stolen property

2) ruined dates

3) humiliated other characters

4) has a chart of Adrien’s daily schedule for the next year in her room (this is stalking)

5) broke into his room and sniffed his pillow (also a crime)

6) sniffed, took the hair from, and tried to kiss what she thought was a wax statue of Adrien

7) convinced her parents to let her go to China. Why? Not because she wants to connect with her mother’s heritage, not even because she’s a budding fashion designer and Shanghai is considered a fashion hotspot. It’s because Adrien was there.

I started the show, watched one episode, and never tried again. I simply do not vibe with her.

shes annoyinng anf shes a stalker

I love fanon miraculous but by god she has got to stop obsessively stalking her crush and generally making a ton of other terrible decisions. I’d submit Adrien too but he’s more of a deuteragonist

More propaganda

Anti propaganda

Propaganda why Aelin Ashryver Galathynius is insufferable:

Your basic Mary Sue. Styled as the incredibly cool best-assassin in the land at only 18, she nevertheless is constantly snuck up upon, distracted by pretty boys, and possesses not an ounce of wit. In a competition between murderers and thieves to win a place as the King's Champion, she sees a bag of chocolates on her bed that she didn't put there and immediately starts eating it and gushing about how much she adores chocolate - nevermind that they just had a trial involving poison, which several of her competitors are adept at. She's always right, and other characters exist just to tell her how awesome and beautiful and wonderful she is. And then she turns out to be a super special magical fey princess!

I generally don't believe that a Mary Sue is a bad thing, but the only thing I remember about this book was how she had been in prison for years but was super young but was also still the most super-specialest assassin. And she kept reading when she should have been training or sleeping. Like, girl, this is not final exams where you can stay up all night and then roll into class in your pajamas and still squeak out a C. It's supposed to be life and death. Her character traits didn't make her relatable, they made her a moron

Heir to a kingdom plus turquoise eyes plus best assassin in the world plus protagonist centered morality

Anti propaganda

Propaganda why Dean Winchester is insufferable:

Really mean to Cas (called him a child, zero respect for him, calls him family and casts him out when the angels are looking for him), and an absolute dick to Jack (threatening to kill him CONSTANTLY)

>Was a misogynist (loved to call women skanks, bitches, hoes)

>Used gay as an insult multiple time during the show's run (idc if he's gay an homophobic, that's still insulting)

>Beat up his brother for being possessed

>Beat up his brother for losing his soul (not his brother's fault)

>Used dubious consent to get his brother possessed in a different unrelated possession incident after possession was being used (badly...this is supernatural after all) as a metaphor for SA

>Threatened to murder his brother when he was hallucinating (yay we aren't ableist)

>Locked a child up in a box

>Threatened to kill the child he locked up in a box

>Made a creepy, sexual comment about a barely-legal high school girl

>Got the woman and kid he was living with memory-wiped

misogynistic scumbag. theres also a few different times that dean finds teenagers sexy with the most recent and prominent example that i can recall being the scooby doo crossover episode in season 13 where hes super into daphne who in the version they chose for the episode is 15-16 and is interacting with her as if shes a real person cause they got magicked into the episode. he treats everyone around him like shit and the only time the narrative agrees that thats a bad thing is when he has the mark of cain put on him and hes acting no differently than he does usually its just now acknowledged that hes treating others like shit. ive been rewatching the show for shits and giggles with a friend and wow he really does not treat anyone well but i wanna focus on how he treats sam for a second cause dude's hobby seems to be ignoring what his brother wants and lying to sam about doing stuff that directly concerns him the demon blood and souless things are reasonable cause those were both Bad for sam but theyre still part of a wider pattern and the most prominent example of this being when dean tricks sam into letting gadreel possess him and actually gaslights sam about it with the whole ordeal ending when its revealed gadreel lied about who he was and while possessing sam murders a friend of theirs. his voice is just also stupid as fuck im sorry this is just petty but he just sounds like hes trying so hard to be gruff n intimidating but he just sounds like a kid pretending to be batman

Dean’s list of sins is crazy long because of how long the show ran, but the key thing for me is that post-locking Sam in the bunker (season 4 I think?), I just can’t enjoy their relationship anymore. I normally love their sibling dynamic, but Dean’s ultimate worst past-the-point-of-no-return moment for me was demonizing (pun intended) his little brother for being “addicted” to demon blood, which only happened because of a series of events that were either Dean’s or someone else’s fault, not Sam’s. I also really dislike how the fandom treats Dean like this angel (pun intended) who has done no wrong and even tries to justify the MULTIPLE times he’s beaten up and otherwise abused his little brother. Canon Dean is like the polar opposite of fanon Dean: he’s homophobic and racist (jokes about a Black man being sexually assaulted in prison), misogynistic (take a shot every time he calls a woman a slur and you’ll die of alcohol poisoning), and abusive.

#marinette dupain cheng #mlb marinette #miraculous ladybug #mlb #aelin ashryver galathynius #aelin galathynius #celaena sardothien #throne of glass #dean winchester #supernatural #supernatural dean #insufferable protagonist poll #insufferable protagonist tournament #tournament poll

[chaos-monkeyy]

20 Questions for fanfic writers

Tagged by @trainofcommand and @cordeliaperry , thank you 😁

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

351

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

969,232 !

(I had a soft goal of trying to break a million this year, but I probably won't quite make it. Ah well, next year!)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Literally anything I see or read that happens to hit squirrel-brain in the right spot: Stargate, Star Wars, Cosmere / Stormlight Archive / Sanderson's books generally, Loki series & other MCU media, OFMD, Good Omens, Dresden Files, Star Trek (and one-offs for random-ass shows like the Mentalist, 1899, tLoVM, Echoes, etc). Honorable mentions to past beloved fandoms that I'm not super likely to really get back to again include Midsomer Murders, the Witcher, Assassin's Creed, and the Expanse 💕

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Top spot is A wonderful thing (OFMD); the next four in order are all Witcher - A Tight Fit, Stolen Moments, Keep it up, and Undignified.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I love seeing people's reactions, and letting them know how much I appreciate that they took the time and energy to comment (because fuck knows, I don't always have the spoons to comment on stuff myself). And it's so nice to get that connection with people and get excited about stuff together!

(I have missed some replies here and there just because of over-stressing about what to respond, and subsequently feeling guilty that I left them unanswered so long 🙈 ahh, anxiety-brain, you sure are special)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is one is easy, it's definitely Zombie / what's in your head. One of only two times I've written Major Character Death, and the only time I've used the Angst and Tragedy tag.

It's fucking brutal, honestly. Damn good, but ouch. Dark. Sometimes I reread it when I just want to cry hopelessly for awhile. It's like an... emotional reset or something.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have happy endings in the happy-sexy-sated vein, but most of my fics are also happy-sexy-oneshots so there isn't any real conflict or worry to come back from that makes the happy ending something that wasn't a given, if that makes sense. My first thought for something more involved was Inflection Point, but it's not exactly a happy ending for everyone. So I think I'll go with Curious Creatures, because even though I know how it ends and I wrote the damn thing, I still somehow get worried it will have a sad ending every time I go back and reread it, and then I'm relieved all over again at the end.

(Honorable mention to the Adventures of Admiral Prawn and Yee-Claw, because how can we not be happy that he found his lost hat with the help of a new friend 😂)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Honestly nowhere near as much as I'd kind of expect to? 😆

I had some rando dickhead giving me grief in comments on a couple Assassin's Creed fics, and I've seen people griping in fandom social media spaces about a couple of my works and the fact they (gasp) existed in the tags at all, but mostly people have been decent and kept it to themselves when they don't like me or my writing 💖

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes. All of it. All the smut.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not really! Never published one to AO3. Closest I've got is that Witcher-Assassins Creed WIP languishing in my google docs, and a silly fun little SGA-Original SW thing on tumblr from probably a couple years ago now.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Pretty sure, yeah. Not to the point of really being able to do anything about it but it kinda sucked. Shit happens.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! A couple of them that I know of 😁

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Oh hell yeah. Many times 💕

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Cock/Hole.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Mmm I have two published WIPs that fall into that category exactly, Ill-advised encounters and The skills of Assassins. They were really fun, I'd have really liked to finish them, annnd I probably never will 😅

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty damn good at pacing a story, whether it's a oneshot or a longer fic, and at getting ~feelings~ across (whether it's horny feelings, smushy soft feelings, angsty feelings, whatever). And I've been told that I'm good at like... developing a setting and characters in a way that flows or unfolds naturally with the story while you read? Or something like that? (they said it better and it made me very happy)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

That would be not getting things actually started and just keeping the ideas in my head because What If this time I can't make the words do the thing good enough. Especially whenever I have ideas for something potentially longer or more involved, I do tend to kinda shoot myself in the foot by going "eehhhhh that would be a LOT of work though.... I don't want that kind of commitment....... Maybe I'll write down the idea later............"

Also being constantly distracted by shiny new things. But that part's fun 😆

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I use italics, try to limit it to single words or short phrases, and where possible I make the meaning clear or translated somehow within the fic itself. Last resort, I'll add a little glossary to the start or end notes if it's important to the story.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Midsomer Murders 💖

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I genuinely don't have a favourite! There's a few I'm extra proud of myself for accomplishing, but I really like most of what I've ever written for one reason or another.

Or another answer would be, my current favourite changes like every week and is usually one of my recent fics 😂 Right now it's probably The Taste of My Blade; it'll be something else in a month.

No pressure tags: @dewdropreader , @mirilyawrites , @starport-seven-five , @loki-is-my-kink-awakening , @dedkake , @wantonwhale , and I won't spam tag all the same people as I did in yesterday's tag game in case you're not feeling it right now, but as always - if you see this and want to be tagged, you are! 💙

#tag games #multifandom

[hezuart]

What do you think of people who call you ableist? I have seen that many HB fans have called you that because you minimize the character of stolas and his "Trauma" and how horrible his marriage was. what do you think about that?

So I actually explained this to someone before privately. Someone came into my ask box and said "Hey so I relate to Stolas and because you criticized his relationships and trauma, you are therefore invalidating every abused person out there including me" Which was wild to receive but

It's not about invalidating Stolas's trauma

It's about bad writing

Stella and Stolas are flat, inconsistent characters that have literally no reason to stay married to each other, let alone bully or abuse each other.

Reasons why someone stays in an abusive relationship: 1. Fear (of being hurt or killed) 2. Political Power & Status 3. Reputation within the Family 4. Love (Because you need to love the person to be in a relationship that turned sour in the first place) 5. Kid 6. Money 7. Self-confidence / Ignorance of what a healthy relationship is

Let's debunk all of this. 1. Stolas no reason to fear Stella. He has a book of powerful spells and is an important Prince of Hell. She doesn't have power like he does. He does not fear for his life in Loo Loo Land or at the Harvest Moon Festival, he can freeze an imp by merely looking at them. Even Stella herself hired someone else to do her dirty work for her for potentially one of three reasons: A, she knows she can't beat Stolas in a fight so she has to be sneaky about it through a hired assassin with an Angel weapon, B, she doesn't want the family to know it was her because she could get in trouble for killing a Goetia family member (scandalous?), C, she cares about Octavia(???) and doesn't want her to know Stella is trying to kill her beloved father so she'll get custody. Otherwise, if things were simple, there's nothing stopping her from destroying him. Stolas is annoyed with her and tries to calm her down when she's angry, but he's never been afraid of her. At least, not as an adult.

2. For reputation's sake, I don't think the populace cares about whether or not the royal family is married or not. The imps at the Harvest Moon festival looked at Stolas with contempt. It might be scandalous amongst the elite, but what are the elite gonna do outside of gossip? Marriage is more of a God and Heaven kind of thing. It seems weird for Hell to hold it in such high regard???? It doesn't make sense to me. Also, everyone already knows Stolas had an affair with Blitzo now ever since Ozzies. Both he and Blitz didn't care about being seen in public, they didn't disguise themselves or hide until Oz made fun of them for it (though he himself is hypocritical, for he loves Fizzarolli.) So Stella might think it's embarrassing, but Stolas doesn't care.

3. Both Stolas and Stella are Goetia family by default. Stella acts like divorce is scandalous to the family, but Stolas says the only thing the family wanted from their marriage was Octavia, which they'd provided. They met the requirements of their arrangement, so why would the Goetia care if they divorce? Stella literally throws a "Not Divorced" party as though it's a special occasion. Stella has a lot of connections and friends in the Goetia family. She's complained about Stolas, shouting at the top of her lungs how unhappy she is and how pathetic Stolas is. The Goetia family knows their marriage sucks. Divorcing should be a common thing in Hell. Why would the family care about them divorcing if they did what they were asked to? Produce a child? The family shouldn't give them shit for it. In fact, in political relationships, it's usually the woman who would get in trouble. Stolas is a valuable asset to the Goetias as a star studier, spell weaver, and prophet. Stella? Her purpose? She's a broodmare! She's forced to breed. Her purpose is to produce a child. That's it. Now that she's done that, she's got nothing left to give to the family. If Stolas abandons her, she's basically screwed! She's purposeless to the family now. Killing Stolas might save her the embarrassment, but she's never done what she was supposed to do: raise Octavia. She's just been screwing around throwing parties instead of doing her job. If someone is going to get into trouble with the family, it would be Stella. Not Stolas. She'd be blamed for the failed marriage. (and rightfully so, she sucks)

4. Love is why I thought Stolas and Stella were staying together. Otherwise, why would Stella go with Stolas and Octavia to Loo Loo Land? Stella would hate it there. But she went for them. But any "love" Stella and Stolas might have had was retconned in season 2. Stolas and Stella never loved each other. They were an arranged marriage forced together for the sake of a kid.

5. Staying together for Octavia doesn't make sense. Might have in the beginning, but quickly became not the case. Stolas does more of the work as a father to her, while Stella has been shown to do next to nothing for her. Octavia clearly loves her father more and would choose him in a heartbeat in a divorce. They're stuck in Hell so it's not like Octavia is going to have to travel several hours for shared visitation. Stolas was apparently retconned to be in love with Blitzo; Stella literally screams on a daily basis how much she hates being married to Stolas, and Octavia is upset her parents hate each other. Why are they staying together? They're all miserable. If Stolas and Stella never married, or if they just produced Octavia then divorced early on, there wouldn't be any need to play this dumb facade. It was Stolas's idea to try and be a "normal" family, but Stella never agreed to this, considering all the shit she'd say about him during parties. They were never a normal family. How does Stolas even have a right to lie to Octavia about her purpose? How has Octavia never come in contact with another Goetia who let slip that she's an unwanted child that her grandfather forced on her parents? Stolas was told his purpose on his birthday when he was young. Did Octavia not have her purpose and responsibility explained to her? How can Octavia live in a house with a mother who screams her head off about her awful marriage and not get a clue? If Stolas would just divorce Stella, it would solve a lot of problems. Octavia's life was never normal. It was never meant to be normal. Pretending otherwise has only caused more problems and misunderstandings in the long run for her. Sure, Captain Hind-sight here, but I'm kind of tired of the incorrect phrase of "Stay together for the kids". Kids don't want you to stay together if you guys are unhappy and making them miserable.

6. Money? Again, Stella and Stolas are Goetia by default. Stolas has his own money and palace. Theoretically, Stella should too. If she doesn't, she can just shack up with her brother Andrealphus then?? (Weird though if she doesn't have her own money. But if this were a typical political marriage, again, it's usually the woman who gets the shorter end of the stick. She at least has family and friends to fall back on, regardless of how embarrassing it may be for her.)

7. For Stolas and Stella to be ignorant of a healthy relationship is something else entirely. Usually, this means Stolas would blame himself for failing the marriage. He'd think he did something wrong, or Stella would gaslight him into feeling weak or powerless so he'd need her. But that's not the case. Stolas knows he's mistreated. He wanted to pretend to be a healthy family, so he know what a "family" should have been from day one. Which is ironic, because Stolas is in love with Blitz, but Blitz doesn't really treat him any better than Stella does. Regardless, Stolas knows Stella mistreats him, and he's never blamed himself for their bad marriage, so this isn't a contender.

Stella has no reason to abuse Stolas because neither of them wanted this. Sure, she could take out her anger on him, but Stolas has no reason to stay married to Stella as explained above. Stella is the only one who should be afraid of this, and therefore, she shouldn't abuse Stolas because she should know she can be dropped and shunned with a snap of his fingers. (but the show treats Stolas as if he'll be the one who gets in trouble as if he's gonna get the short end of the stick? As though Stella holds more power over him??? As though she's more important??? Why the fuck are they treating Stolas like he's replaceable and not Stella? She's a useless Goetia) I just can't find any logic here.

It's just not ablest. It's about criticizing a show for not making any sense.

#a good portion of people saying its ablest #are stolitz stans #which is ironic because blitz is a really bad relationship for stolas too #its not as bad but still not a good one #stella and stolas were together through political power means #stolas and blitz are together through deceitful manipulations #neither of these relationships have chemistry or love for each other #at least- they dont anymore after season 2 #but yeah its not about ableism at all #its a very long reach that people are making #either through simple misunderstanding #or they just dont like it when stolitz is criticized for some reason #helluva boss #helluva boss critical #long post #drama #these are high class royal demons with different lives and responsibilities #this is just not your every day abusive relationship #the circumstances are far too different #it just doesnt make sense to be an abusive relationship #they made stella a flat bitch to justify Stolas cheating on his wife #and stolas is just a good boi who wants love!!!!! #and its upsetting they did that #because these characters are supposed to be -complex- #but they're not #Helluva Boss ironically feels like its written by kids for kids #inappropriate jokes - violence- and flat characters? #im tellin ya 6th graders would be all over this show #if they arent already

[markantonys]

towers of midnight chapter 17-29

juilin is leaving for tar valon with the 3 aes sedai 😭 as are egeanin and domon. so every single character in mat’s plotline who ever showed opposition and/or a backbone towards tuon/the seanchan are leaving in one fell swoop huh? perfectly allowing mat to bury his head even deeper in the sand now that none of the people who’ve been directly harmed by tuon/the seanchan (thera, the aes sedai, egeanin) will be around anymore to make him remember that his beloved wife is evil. not that their presence ever did much of that anyway.

also, i can’t believe my beloved rarepair thom/juilin is splitting up! devastating! the other week i was thinking about the series’ longest-running duo and came to the grim conclusion that it’s rand and min (books 6-14, since i assume they’ll STILL be together in 14 since min has nowhere else to go) with elayne and nynaeve in second (books 2-9), but Actually it’s thom and juilin (books 4-13)!

“‘highness,’ seta said, ‘is it true? you’re going to allow these to roam free of you?’ ‘best to be rid of them,’ mat said, wincing at her choice of titles for him.” oh there i was thinking he was going to be wincing at her referring to human beings (the aes sedai) as “these” but no

and he goes on and on about how sorry he feels for the sul’dam for finding out they can channel. the fucking sul’dam, they’re who he feels sorry for, not any one of the people they’ve enslaved, two of whom are standing right there with him. he shows the sul’dam more empathy here than he showed the aes sedai when tuon put collars on them in KOD.

“maybe someday you two can convince tuon of the truth [that she and other sul’dam can channel]. help me find a way to fix this without causing the empire to collapse.” WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MAT???? THIS IS THE EMPIRE WHO HAS INVADED YOUR HOMELAND AND YOU’RE WORRIED ABOUT IT COLLAPSING???? the second half of the chapter is elayne fretting about the seanchan invading andor after tarmon gai’don, and mat going “i don’t want the truth about my evil wife to hurt her feelings or make her evil slave empire collapse uwu” is such a disgusting contrast. this is NOT my mat. my mat hates authority and imperialism and slavery and injustice and invaders and would jump at the chance to destabilize the seanchan empire (which was supposed to be the WHOLE POINT of the sul’dam secret and now you’re telling me that we hope they can handle that secret delicately in a way that won’t interfere with the empire going about its day?). and i can’t blame sanderson for it because rj already did this to mat and assassinated his character in COT and KOD. the great and good man who risked his own escape to free windfinders enslaved by the seanchan would be even more disgusted by the subsequent books’ mat than i am.

“learning that they could channel, worrying they might be a danger to everyone around them. that’s how rand felt, mat thought. poor fool.” normally i would be over the moon and crying my eyes out over mat showing so much empathy and understanding towards rand finding out he could channel (how far he’s come from his initial reaction in tgh!) but i’m too mad about the above bullet point, and the fact that mat is thinking about the sul’dam in this passage and how he feels sorry for them. you know what else rand has felt, mat? fear of being collared and enslaved by people like your beloved evil wife!

“[egeanin] did not like mat, for all he had done to save her skin. maybe it was because he had not let her take charge, or maybe because she had been forced to act like his lover.” or maybe because you’re constantly swooning over and simpering for the woman who stripped her of her name.

joline thanks mat for giving them horses and he’s all smug about it. it is so annoying how Those Ungrateful Women keep being forced by the narrative to be polite to mat, apologize to him, thank him for things etc. and he’s rarely made to do the same for them despite having always been just as bad if not worse in the rudeness and disrespect department (again, rj did this too - elayne and nynaeve have to apologize to mat for not thanking him for saving them in tear and elayne thanks him very sincerely after the gholam, but to my memory he never once has to apologize for being condescending and treating them like helpless children (i’m thinking more his attitude in LOC-ACOS bc in tear okay fair yeah they did actually need his help))

mat gives joline some nice pastries as a parting gift but it turns out that they’re pranked with something that’ll turn her mouth blue, so that’s very kind and mature of him

“he had a sinking feeling that the aes sedai had wrapped poor egwene up in their schemes so soundly that she would never escape. he had half a mind to ride up there himself and see if he could get her out. but he had other tasks. egwene would have to see to herself for now. she was a capable girl; she could probably handle it without him for a while.” 🙄🙄 mat’s hero complex was sooooomewhat amusing (and at times a little sweet) in the early books, but it has gone on FAR too long. especially when at this point in the series egwene has worked SO HARD and achieved SO MUCH yet still struggles to have others recognize her authority and competence because of how young she is - it’s incredibly frustrating to see people she cares about who SHOULD trust her also treat her like a child in over her head.

for this and the past couple of bullet points: mat has learned NOTHING. his attitudes towards women and towards aes sedai are WORSE than they were at the beginning of the series (once again, rj is responsible for this and sanderson just continued the trend he was given to work with). we have faile bending over backwards to think about how sorry she is for being so mean in the past, birgitte berating elayne for getting people killed because of her plan with the black ajah house (more on that in a bit), yet mat is allowed to continue all his shitty attitudes completely unchecked.

in conclusion, gofundme tuition money to enroll mat in a women’s studies course

“had that frightened wisp of a woman really been the panarch of tarabon? mat had seen mice that were less timid.” she was ENSLAVED and TRAUMATIZED by YOUR WIFE, MAT.

mat thinks oh so generously that maybe he can talk to tuon and get egeanin reinstated, because by now i guess he has fully bought into the seanchan hierarchy and believes that regaining/maintaining your proper place within it is desirable, rather than that the whole system is fucked and should be burned to the ground. “first you’ll need to convince tuon not to make you da’covale. he was half convinced she intended to see him as her servant, husband or not.” SLAVE, mat. da’covale are SLAVES. this just confirms our suspicions that the narrative has forgotten that channelers aren’t the only ones who get enslaved by the seanchan. didn’t you hear? da’covale are actually just servants!

now back to elayne thank GOD. that was definitely the worst mat section since KOD (at least his first chapter in TGS only had misogyny and not also pro-imperialism-and-slavery).

elayne is walking in the rooftop gardens which has a view of the lower gardens. “it was in those gardens that she had first met rand. she pressed a hand to her belly.” 🥺

now we have birgitte berating elayne for taking risks because apparently elayne can’t even take a fucking walk in her own garden? birgitte points out that elayne could lose a limb or get severe brain damage and still live to give birth to healthy children, which is fair enough, but then says, “and what about the people around you? give you no thought to the danger you could cause them?” “i feel bad for vandene and sareitha. and for those men who died to rescue me. don’t dare imply that i feel no responsibility for them! ...we discussed this, birgitte. we decided that there was no way i could have known that chesmal and the others would arrive as they did.” “we decided that there was no use arguing any further.” like ugh this exchange just feels like pandering to all the elayne haters who were so mad at her for having the audacity to get kidnapped after a genuinely well thought out plan - WHICH BIRGITTE WAS IN ON so why the fuck is she now acting like elayne just went haring off unsupervised - went unpredictably awry. to my memory birgitte didn’t at all blame elayne during KOD???? she was exasperated (yet also full of admiration) that elayne never once felt afraid during the whole ordeal, but i don’t believe she ever felt that it was elayne’s fault or anything like that. it just feels like an uncharacteristically low blow for birgitte to bring this up to guilt elayne into being more careful (yes, elayne’s the one who references the specific incident, but since they’ve clearly argued about it many times, birgitte likely knew what she was doing by saying “give you no thought to the danger you could cause the people around you”). can you imagine if a character used the deaths at dumai’s wells to guilt rand into being more careful? that would be an extremely shitty move, wouldn’t it? why the hell does elayne get victim blamed, both within the narrative and in the fandom, for her kidnapping but rand doesn’t? no, we all know why. like for real, if you asked WOT fans who was to blame for the deaths at dumai’s wells, everybody would say elaida or galina, yet if you asked who was to blame for the deaths after full moon street, a good chunk if not the majority would say elayne instead of chesmal and the other black sisters who, you know, were the ones actually kidnapping and killing people.

anyway. elayne wants the kin to be stationed in andor so that andor can offer/have access to traveling (which will be charged for) and healing (which will be free, elayne says very adamantly). clever clever! part of the reason is because she wants all the resources she can have at her disposal when the seanchan inevitably try to invade andor after the last battle. “she suspected that those who claimed to be artur hawkwing’s successors would never be satisfied until they held all that had once belonged to their ancestor.” glad to see that one (1) character is still considering the seanchan to be an enemy and serious threat. 2 because egwene does too.

but she also wants channelers who will fight in battles - she won’t force the kin to do that. “the only thing she could think of was the black tower. it was on andor’s soil...what would happen to them if rand died? dared she try to claim them? dared she wait for someone else to?” OOOOOOH this is an intriguing prospect!! and man, how much easier would it have been if rand had been in charge of the black tower all this time instead of going “i don’t trust taim at all. i think i will give him free rein over hundreds of dangerous male channelers and never check in on him.” then the black tower would be solidly behind him and he could just be like “everybody this is your new stepmom elayne, do whatever she wants” and all would be well.

“a careful trap using the asha’man and wise ones, and perrin could hit the Children so hard that they shattered. he could maybe even destroy them permanently as a group.” why do i feel like he’s going to decide not to do this for Moral Reasons and this is going to end up as another instance of “evil group is perfectly poised to be destroyed permanently but our protagonist intervenes to prevent it from happening”

“berelain pursed perfect lips. light, but the woman was beautiful! ...why had the creator made people as perfect as berelain?” faile? u good fam?

faile and berelain agree to pretend to be friends to put a stop to the rumors that berelain slept with perrin. WHAT was the goddamn POINT of this entire plotline? the fact that so many other characters have had min viewings/prophetic dreams/etc. foreshadowing all this epic shit and then perrin’s bird viewing was just that he was going to spend the majority of the series in a completely pointless love triangle that 2/3 of the involved parties did not want to be involved in and that ended up affecting absolutely no aspect of the story lmao i’m wondering if the show would even bother with this because a) removing it would affect nothing and b) with show!perrin’s extra trauma from killing laila the perrin/faile relationship will have plenty of obstacles already without needing to include the berelain love triangle.

MATLAYNE REUNION!!!!!!!!!!!! SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP!!!!!!!!!!! thankfully i read this a few days after the previous mat chapter so my annoyance at him had cooled and i could appreciate the reunion properly! we are diving into this chapter in extreme detail, let’s go.

mat shaves off his beard and is careful in his clothing selection before meeting with elayne 😌 although he picks out a respectable plain coat and then spends the rest of the chapter anxious and self-conscious and fretting that he should’ve picked a nicer coat to see elayne, baby boy! there is symbolism about the fact that mat was constantly wearing over-the-top lacy fancy clothes around tylin and tuon, but now he changes back into a normal coat to see elayne. because she sees and appreciates him for who he is and he doesn’t feel the need to add any false ornamentation or change himself around her! (altho she does kinda make fun of his coat later lmao)

“one of the holes had a bloodstain around it, but that had mostly been washed out. it was a nice coat.” literally “mat is even wearing his formal leather jacket” “it’s the one without any blood on it”

“just because a man marries someone doesn’t mean he suddenly becomes bloody nobility.” “mat, that’s actually exactly how it works.” kdjfg

mat wishes that his luck would for once see him, among other things, off somewhere with a pretty serving girl on his knee instead of, among other things, being married to a seanchan high lady. another one for the “mat is gonna cheat on tuon so fast” file folder

the band is getting attention in caemlyn because they’re the largest single group outside the walls, because they’re as organized and disciplined as a regular army, and also because they’re led by “a personal friend of the dragon reborn.” everyone in caemlyn knows mat is rand’s ~Personal Friend~ aka sugar baby (and mat’s men keep bragging about it and he wishes they wouldn’t jkfg)

guybon (random beautiful man who showed up out of nowhere with a huge army for elayne in the eleventh hour, aka the guy invented to fill the mat-and-the-band shaped hole in the story) meets mat to escort him. “too bad he had such a pretty face. a life in the military would probably end up wrecking that.” #BiMatRights

among the many rumors in caemlyn about mat, one is that he “won the dragon reborn the loyalty of the aiel” (by killing couladin), caemlyn is spinning out romantic tales about rand and mat’s devotion to each other!

talmanes is “crestfallen” that mat tells him to stay outside while he and thom go in to meet with elayne, and mat promises to introduce him to elayne later. talmanes really wants to meet his bff’s wife!

“mat stepped up to the door, taking a deep breath. he had fought in dozens of skirmishes and battles without growing nervous. now his hands were shaking.” he’s so nervous to finally see his crush again 🥺

“his eyes found elayne immediately...she looked radiant in a gown of deep red and gold. beautiful, full red lips that mat would not have minded kissing, if he had not been a married man. her red-gold hair seemed to shimmer in the hearthlight, and her cheeks were full of color.” THIS IS SO ROMANTIC AND FOR WHAT????? good GOD mat!!! he is straight up IN LOVE with her!! (also, another one for the “mat is gonna cheat on tuon so fast” file folder)

RADIANT!!! mat thinks elayne looks RADIANT!!! he’s never described TUON as radiant. also, conveniently placed light source to make a character’s hair shimmer my beloved

“‘thom, i’m so glad that you’re all right!’ elayne grabbed him in an embrace. ‘hello, dear one,’ thom said fondly. ‘i hear you’ve done well for yourself, and for andor.’” 🥺🥺

elayne is crying! she’s so happy to see them!! but we don’t get a matlayne hug even tho elayne hugs thom and birgitte hugs mat 😔

elayne thanks mat for all he’s done for her, and despite how sulky he was about not getting thanks and kisses from her sooner, now he just says “it really wasn’t anything, you know, elayne.” and when she apologizes for making him wait so long for a meeting he says “it’s nothing. you’re busy.” and when she offers to let the band move closer to the city and apologizes that there’s no room for them within the walls he says “that won’t be needed. letting us move closer is kind enough. thank you.” 1 page back with elayne and he’s already 10x better about being polite and respecting women! unlike when joline thanked him earlier, he doesn’t show or feel a hint of smugness about elayne thanking him now! she truly does bring out the best in him and i’ll always be bitter that he got punted off to a wife who turns him into the worst possible version of himself.

“‘burn me. you’re queen! how’s that feel?’ elayne laughed, finally releasing thom. ‘such a way with words you have, mat.’” they’re married!

mat says he’s not going to bow to elayne or bother with “your majesty” nonsense and elayne says she wouldn’t expect it, unless they’re in public because there she has to keep up appearances for the people. “‘i suppose that’s true,’ mat agreed. it did make sense.” he loves his wife so much and is now completely willing to bow to her in public and understands why it’s important that he do so! growth! trophy husband (complimentary) behavior! and, importantly, unlike with tuon, he does NOT intend to bow and scrape to elayne in private. literally a prime example of the “someone who will respect you in public but speak freely to you in private” ideal partner for a high-profile leader that egwene described to us previously!

MAT FINDS OUT ABOUT THE BABIES AAAAAAHHHH

“he looked accusingly at elayne. ‘does rand know about this?’” a bold attitude from someone who knows FULL WELL that rand has been fucking min for the past few months lmao i think sanderson’s mat forgot he had all those visions because he does not react in any way or think about rand and min at all or scratch his head wondering how rand has the time to fuck so many people. a common symptom of the series, whenever one of rand’s relationships is relevant to a scene, everybody present in that scene (including rand himself) forgets the other two exist.

“she laughed. ‘i should hope he isn’t too surprised.’ ‘burn me!’ mat said. ‘he’s the father!’” the fact that elayne’s been so secretive about the babydaddy’s identity but trusts mat enough to tell him straight off the bat 🥺 also, i will call bullshit if mat doesn’t say a word about this to rand when they see each other next book (tho at least “i should hope he isn’t too surprised” gives mat sooooome leeway in believing rand might already know)

okay let’s take inventory here

people who currently know elayne is pregnant with rand’s babies: elayne, mat, aviendha, min, nynaeve, egwene, thom, birgitte

people who currently do not know elayne is pregnant with rand’s babies: rand

like this POOR MAN lmao!! someone PLEASE tell him my god!

“how had becoming queen made elayne less high-and-mighty? had he missed something? she actually seemed agreeable now! well, that was unfair. there were times when she had been agreeable before. they had merely been mixed between times when she had been ordering mat around.” mat acknowledging that elayne was never that bad and he judged her too harshly! we love to see it!!

“he found himself smiling as thom related [the whole story since ebou dar]...mat almost thought himself a hero, listening to thom.” mat is smiling about getting to sit with elayne and catch up with her! elayne listening to the things he’s been through makes him feel like a hero!

“right before thom got to the part about tuon’s marriage words, however, mat coughed and cut in.” and he hastens thru the rest of the story and doesn’t mention the marriage LMAO he doesn’t want elayne to know he’s married. because he’s in love with her! “thom eyed mat with amusement.” and thom knows it!

“what trouble have you gotten yourself into, matrim cauthon?” “that’s not fair at all. i’m not the one who gets into trouble. if i-” “you’re not going to mention my getting captured in the stone of tear again, are you?” “of course not. that happened ages ago. i barely remember it.” THEY’RE MARRIED YOUR HONOR

“she laughed, the pretty sound ringing in the room. he felt himself blushing.” 🚨🚨🚨 ELAYNE MADE MAT BLUSH!!!!! 🚨🚨🚨 and he thinks her laugh is pretty!!!!!

like literally the way he thinks about elayne is SO MUCH MORE ROMANTIC than the way he thinks about tuon i can’t TAKE it!!!

“‘mat, i could kiss you,’ she declared. ‘this is exactly what i needed!’ mat blinked. what?” JSKDFHG AAAAAAAHHHHH and birgitte says “you’ll have to watch yourself, elayne. rand will be jealous.” BIRGITTE STRAIGHT UP CALLING OUT THE VIBES BETWEEN THEM LMAO but rest assured rand won’t be jealous if elayne kisses mat, birgitte! that would be his dream come true!

mat and elayne have some interesting negotiations about the use of the dragons! the final deal they settle on is: elayne will provide the money and resources to produce the dragons, 3/4 of them will go to andor and 1/4 to the band, elayne gets the band in a renewable 1-year contract but can’t force them to fight in any battle mat doesn’t want them to participate in, and elayne can have mat’s medallion for 3 days to study it.

“i don’t like having men who could leave me at any time.” “you know i won’t hold them back merely to spite you. i’ll do what’s right.” “what you see as being right.” “every man should have that option.” “few men use it wisely.” “we want it anyway. we demand it.” “you have it.” ❤️

but initially elayne wants the band to be part of andor and given a commission there permanently and to be officially backed by her, which i would’ve loved so much!!!! unfortunately, mat turns it down, in part because he doesn’t want the band beholden to anybody (which is fair), but not only for that reason. “it was actually tempting. just a little. but it did not matter. he did not think elayne would be happy to have him in her realm once she knew of his relationship with the seanchan. he meant to return to tuon eventually, somehow. if only to work out what she really felt about him.” SIGHHHHH. all tuon does is cut mat off from all his other loved ones. this passage implies that he’s pretty much turned fully traitor to the westlands and is aware that most of his friends will hate him for it, yet he still doesn’t manage to reach enough awareness to, you know, feel bad about it, or to have any guilt over the fact that tuon would collar elayne as soon as she met her (and swallow up her nation and people to boot).

but then mat does think that he has no intention of giving the seanchan access to the dragons, so that’s good! maybe not full traitor, then. like gawyn, he’s trying to straddle both sides at once lmao

“elayne raised an eyebrow at him. yes, she had become a queen. just like that.” ❤️❤️

“‘a serving man,’ mat said. ‘you know, to take care of my clothing. you’d do a better job of picking than i would.’ elayne looked at his coat, then up at his hair. ‘that,’ she said, ‘i’ll give you regardless of how the other negotiations go.’” “if you need to borrow money to buy a new coat, the crown can lend you some. considering your station, you really should dress more nicely.” and then elayne says she’ll see that mat gets a noble title. sugar mama elayne is out in full force!! god bless. all i want is for mat to be the sugar baby of both the queen of andor and the dragon reborn, it’s my greatest dream (and hey, there have been multiple instances where both rand and elayne have been mentioned as being able to cover mat’s expenses and give him noble titles so it’s all but canon anyway!)

mat tells elayne that the gholam is in caemlyn. we love to see characters sharing important information with each other about things that could be a danger to them!

elayne shares her plans to use the band to move on the sun throne, and mat is fine with it and even thinks it’s a good use for the band while he’s off rescuing moiraine! “i agree to that, but elayne, the band has to be free to fight in the last battle, however rand wants.” they said mat is a bad friend to rand and always runs away from him, i said bitch WHERE

elayne invites mat and thom to dinner later ❤️ and talmanes, at mat’s request. “taking dinner with you will have him dancing all the way back to the camp.” jkdfjgh

“thom spared a paternal kiss for her cheek before parting - good that it was paternal! mat had heard some things about those two that he did not want to believe. with thom old enough to be her grandfather, no less.” LMAO sanderson directly calling out whatever the fuck rj did with elayne and thom back in tfoh hjfkg i love it

“‘that went well,’ mat decided, hands on hips. ‘i worried she wouldn’t bite, but i think i reeled her in pretty well.’ thom laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. ‘what?’ mat demanded. thom just chuckled.” mat is the “anything for you beyonce” vine for elayne and thom knows it!

“‘might i suggest you move the ring to the third finger of your left hand?’ ‘you may suggest it,’ nynaeve said, but did not move the ring.” djkfjg icon

we see nynaeve’s test with the 100 weaves and it’s a wonderful full circle moment from her accepted test! i see her point that it’s important that she care about the people she’s protecting more than her own status and whether or not she’s raised to the shawl, but i’m still fresh off my annoyance at rand’s “you’re better because you’re Not Like Other Aes Sedai” speech and so i also see the aes sedai’s point that it IS important to remain calm in a crisis and it IS important to know how to prioritize and focus on your main quest - sure going off on a sidequest to save people in need would be more important than the main quest of doing a silly little weave to complete a test, but those people aren’t actually real and thus the test IS more important (and in most of the scenes we saw, the weave she was supposed to perform did end up saving the situation anyway). i love that nynaeve wants to save everyone but i do think she needs to learn that she can’t (a lot of WOT characters need to learn that, notably mat). but it is an interesting contrast to the mentality of some other characters and really shows that she could never be a large-scale leader like rand, egwene, and elayne, who by now are practiced in placing the greater good above individuals. and aes sedai DO have to focus on the greater good as well, that’s kinda the whole point of their organization, so just because that’s not how nynaeve is, i don’t think it’s fair to say that she’s Better than the other aes sedai, only that it’s not the right career path for her lmao

but of course it was shitty of the testers to purposely make the visions so cruel and to test nynaeve more brutally than anybody else would be, and of course nynaeve is right to say “i wonder if we sometimes put the white tower - as an institution - before the people we serve. i wonder if we let it become a goal in itself, instead of a means to help us achieve greater goals.” but then the rest of the speech strays too close to “women who don’t get married and have families are inherently less empathetic than those who do” for my liking, so overall the jury’s out.

i will say, it’s interesting how nynaeve and gawyn both choose concern for individuals over concern for a greater cause, yet the narrative (or at the very least the fandom) seems to reward nynaeve for it and criticize gawyn. something something gender roles women are supposed to be caregivers in the private sphere and men leaders in the public sphere something

also, nynaeve used balefire! i’ve been wondering if she ever would again. every now and then i go, “hey, remember that time nynaeve used balefire in TDR and it was literally never mentioned again?” glad to finally see that loop closed haha also, it’s totally fair for her to get in trouble for using an extremely dangerous and illegal weave (again, i agree with her that she may have to use balefire in the last battle, but the dangers in the testing visions weren’t real) and honestly i’m surprised the other aes sedai let it go so easily, but not complaining because the last battle is coming and things have gotta move along.

nynaeve gets myrelle’s bond from lan!!!!! i genuinely wasn’t sure if that would happen since i was never spoiled about it, though i assumed it was a pretty safe bet that it would. “do not press me. in the morning, i swear the three oaths. i’m free of them for one more night.” JDKFJGHJ DAMN

oh also i forgot to say: a chunk of nynaeve’s braid got burned off and it’s now too short to tug! heartbreaking! rip to a legend! as far as rj’s overused turns of phrase go, i always loved the braid tugging bc it’s so specific to nynaeve and her personality (birgitte’s done it occasionally but the narrator will usually remark that it reminds them of nynaeve). but Smoothing Skirts as a universal thing that every woman in the world does as a sign of hidden anxiety or annoyance, on the other hand...........

“so elayne is queen. that must make rand happy.” thank you perrin for a randlayne crumb!

perrin at the prospect of fighting the whitecloaks: “he felt a strange reluctance. it seemed such a waste to kill so many who could fight against the shadow.” see? i knew he was gonna wuss out of destroying the whitecloaks once and for all. sigh. yeah yeah they need all the hands they can get in the last battle but still. sigh.

“several sources indicate that [rand] has sued [the seanchan’s] leader for peace.” “but what did he do to his hand?” perrin is so worried about rand and his hand 🥺

you know what? i think balwer has earned a place in my favorite tertiary character list. he’s so uptight yet sneaky i love him. seeing as my favorite tertiary character list consists of balwer, lini, essande, mistress harfor, and norry, i think my favorite genre of minor character is just “no-nonsense senior citizens” jdkfg (and verin! tho she’s a secondary character not tertiary)

morgase finally finds out gaebril was a forsaken and used compulsion on her!!!! 😭😭 she gives such a powerful speech about it, but it’s wasted on fucking tallanvor. literally morgase is like “so i just found out that i was mind controlled by a forsaken” and tallanvor’s only reaction is “so you didn’t actually love him? nice, that means i have a chance with you!” fuck OFF dude. what i wouldn’t give for this moment to have been between morgase and lini instead, would’ve been so much more powerful. (update: a few chapter later i realized that lini was among the group kidnapped by the whitecloaks, so she actually couldn’t have been present for this scene. but still.) the tallanvor/morgase romance is so unnecessary!! sure it’d be nice for morgase to finally have someone who loves her selflessly, but as we can see from his reaction here, tallanvor doesn’t, despite all his whining about how he’s so good at loving her from afar and not expecting anything from her. you’ve been hassling her to get her to admit she’s into you for multiple books!

“i think thom and gareth loved me, but as something to be held and cared for, then released. i didn’t think you’d ever let go.” “i won’t.” is that...........supposed to be romantic? i would way rather a partner who holds and cares for and then releases me lmao that sounds great!

speaking of partners who won’t ever let go: “other than things to do with egwene, what is it that you want?” “nothing. she’s everything.” jkjfg every WOT secondary character who’s the love interest of a more important character be like

and now bryne does elayne dirty and gives galad too much credit: “you always were the passionate one, gawyn. like your mother and your sister. impulsive, never calculating like your brother...perhaps i spoke wrong - galad may not be calculating, but he isn’t impulsive. to be impulsive is to act without careful thought; galad has given everything a great deal of thought.” it’s not like elayne has become a powerhouse politician and galad has gotten brainwashed by a cult or anything! throughout this book, there’s been such a narrative of elayne being impulsive and not thinking things through, but that’s completely not true - obviously she takes massive risks, but they’re ALWAYS calculated and planned out fairly carefully beforehand, even if things end up going unexpectedly awry once the plan is in motion (more on this in a bit)

“find out who you would be without egwene, and then figure out how to fit her into that.” i love this. now can somebody PLEASE give this advice to min?

mat lists some rumors from the current caemlyn rumor mill, one of which is that rand “visited women in their sleep, getting them with child” hjdkfhgj CRYING everybody wants rand carnally and assumes that everybody else has had rand carnally. also, feel like this implies people are totally suspecting he’s elayne’s babydaddy despite her efforts to the contrary. add “the entire population of caemlyn” to the list of people who suspect, at least, that elayne is pregnant with rand’s babies.

“mat had offered to come up with a backstory for his act, but thom had coughed and said that he already had one worked out.” and later, “mat? i don’t know what you mean, my good woman. my name is garard, a simple beggar who has a quite interesting past, if you care to listen to it” let mat share his dramatic backstories you bastards!!!

what’s the point of noal. i know that he’s jain farstrider, and i don’t dislike him (he does add a fun Weird Grandpa vibe to the group) but he’s just such a random addition to the party. especially to be given the important narrative place of one of moiraine’s 3 rescuers! she’s gonna see them and be like “thom! mat! and............some old guy i’ve never met before!”

“and what of rand? mat saw him sitting on a fine chair, staring down at the floor in front of himself in a dark room, a single lamp flickering. he looked worn and exhausted, his eyes wide, his expression grim. mat shook his head to dispel that image as well. poor rand.” 😭😭❤️❤️ mat loves and misses and worries about rand so much!! “mat is a bad friend to rand and abandons him and never shows him any empathy or understanding” WHOMST??? also, i will note that hilariously in the prior paragraph mat thought about perrin and only said that an image appeared and he banished it, he did not describe a single thing going on in that vision unlike the rand vision. mat is always so much more hung up on the rand visions than he is on the perrin visions or than perrin is on the rand visions.

“mat did not want to go back. there was no tuon back in the two rivers.” sweet, then i’m sprinting back to the two rivers. “light, well, he would have to figure out what to do with tuon. but he did not want to be rid of her. if she were still with him, he would let her call him toy without complaining.” 🙄🤮 like, every single thought mat ever has about tuon ALWAYS feels so jarringly out of character and nonsensical.

the phenomenon of plays (slash operas) has arrived in caemlyn! perfect for mat’s post-last-battle life as a playwright in caemlyn under sugar mama elayne’s patronage!

“the queen sat with a calm demeanor, watching the play. at times, birgitte felt more like a nursemaid than a bodyguard. how did you protect a woman who seemed, at times, so determined to see herself dead?” she’s literally just sitting in a chair watching a play birgitte fucking RELAX. the other characters’ overprotectiveness of elayne is FAR more annoying than her viewing-induced plot armor recklessness has ever been! birgitte complains about feeling like a nursemaid - well, maybe elayne would consult with you about her dangerous plans more if you treated her as an intelligent adult rather a foolhardy child! birgitte is not buttering my bread this book, i have to say.

she does redeem herself a bit a moment later tho: “and yet, elayne was also so very capable. like tonight; she’d somehow convinced her most bitter rival to attend this play...it whispered of a political maneuver by elayne that was thirteen steps more subtle than birgitte had a mind for. she shook her head. elayne was a queen. volatility and all. she’d be good for andor.” that’s my girl! ❤️❤️ (but also, elayne is not “volatile” lmao?? sure, she has her moments of letting out a single primal scream of frustration, but on the whole she’s very good at keeping an outwardly even temper when it’s important to do so.)

mat arrives to see birgitte, but birgitte’s first assumption is that he’s here to see elayne. she knows they’re married! “birgitte held up two fingers to order drinks - [the bartender] knew that she took milk these days” the mental image of the captain-general walking into bars and going “bartender, i want a glass of your best milk” is SENDING me jkfjgh

also, reason #783745 why mat should be elayne’s warder. can you imagine the act of love it would’ve been for mat to swear off drinking for 9 months because he worries it might have a negative effect on the babies thru the bond? 🥺

“one in a thousand is good odds. for me.” “bloody ashes. you’re as bad as elayne!” 1) mat and elayne are the same and they are married ❤️ 2) this is exactly what’s so infuriating about the narrative and the fandom punishing elayne for “recklessness” - because they reward mat for the very same thing. mat is just as bad if not worse when it comes to coming up with wild dangerous plans, yet his plot-mandated protagonist ta’veren luck plot armor means that they almost always work out, or that if they go wrong it’s in a way that still allows them to work out in the end (like the escape from ebou dar). elayne will have a very solid plan that goes awry due to unforeseen circumstances, while mat will just charge into something with half a plan cobbled together with duct tape and then it works out, with the result that everyone’s like “elayne is so stupid and reckless and gets people killed! i love when mat makes crazy plans that work out against all odds!”

“could she, perhaps, give one of the copies to mat? he’d never know, since he couldn’t channel himself...no, she thought, squashing that temptation before it could fly too high. she had promised to return mat’s medallion, and she would. not some copy that didn’t work as well.” ❤️

elayne disguises herself as a forsaken as a means of getting the black sisters to spill information to her. this is genuinely clever! and it works exactly as intended for quite some time until the impossible-to-foresee betrayal of the secretary! and even when things do go awry, elayne holds her own against 3 black ajah and 2 other darkfriends fantastically well! and she did 100% intend to tell birgitte about the plan, but birgitte was out drinking with mat, so why does the narrative later insist that elayne’s at fault for going behind birgitte’s back? she literally wasn’t there! granted, elayne does think “well on the plus side if birgitte’s not here then she can’t object to my plan!” rather than waiting to do the plan at a different time after birgitte comes back, but like maybe she wouldn’t feel the need to think that way if birgitte treated her like an intelligent adult rather than a foolhardy child.

elayne learns that darkfriends are hunting mat and is so worried!! ❤️ and also that the shadow is planning an invasion of andor, uh oh..........noooo andor is like the LAST place that hasn’t yet been invaded by either the shadow or the seanchan! caemlyn is my only Home Base in a series where all the characters are wandering around and making me feel adrift because i never did like travel-based fantasy series where there’s no Home Base! it’s gotta stay strong! it’s gotta!

mat comes charging in with birgitte after she sensed elayne was in danger! protective husband!!!

speaking of protective husbands, gawyn fends off an assassin from egwene’s room and goes to check on her and gets caught in the traps she’d laid to catch the assassin jdkfjg peak comedy. once again, i sympathize with both sides of the argument - gawyn’s interference let the assassins know that egwene’s onto them and cost her the element of surprise, but he wasn’t actively Trying to interfere, he just went to have a quick look in her corridor to reassure himself that all was well bc he was anxious and then unintentionally ended up fighting an assassin. i agree more with egwene, bc gawyn wasn’t even supposed to be in that corridor in the first place since he’d promised not to, but i do understand his being anxious and wanting to check on his beloved. (and i forget whether or not he was aware that egwene had set up traps in her room? if not, then his anxiety would be doubly understandable bc he’d think she was leaving her rooms completely unguarded and vulnerable with assassins walking the tower.)

“her cheeks were flushed with anger at him. that made her even more beautiful than usual.” gawyn’s just exposing his kinks to us huh jhdkfjg

gawyn goes to caemlyn!!! he’s gonna see elayne!!!! i’m gonna get my reunion!!!!!

“birgitte stood in the doorway, mat in the room beyond. he’d stepped out for melfane’s inspection, but otherwise he’d hovered near her almost as protectively as birgitte.” HUSBAND BEHAVIOR!!!! 😭😭😭 where is talmanes to tease mat for being husbandly when you need him?

“we don’t have time for much, these days. risks must be taken.” exactly! the last fucking battle is nigh, if you all hadn’t noticed! nigh, i tell you!! elayne can’t afford to just sit in a glass tower not taking any risks! fandom shits on elayne for unintentionally endangering others by risking her own life to accomplish necessary goals, yet they’d think just the same if she sent other people to take those risks in her stead. if elayne HADN’T gone into the black ajah house, it would be all “elayne’s such a coward sending other people to die in her place” like if you don’t want elayne to go up against the black ajah herself but would also criticize her for sending others to do it, what do you want her to do, just ignore the black ajah and let them get away with whatever?

“you made me your warder, but you won’t let me protect you! how can i be your bodyguard if you won’t tell me when you’re putting yourself in danger?” she TRIED to and you WEREN’T THERE, birgitte! and she DID tell you the whole plan for the black ajah house incident and you AGREED - reluctantly, but you did agree - to let her go in without you! i definitely feel like there’s an attempt to retroactively make the black ajah house incident be elayne’s fault in-narrative in a way that it wasn’t at all in KOD.

“at that moment, a scarf-wrapped head appeared in the doorway. mat had his eyes closed. ‘you covered up?’” see? mat is so much more respectful of women when he’s around elayne! doesn’t even consider trying to sneak a glance of her naked!

elayne warns mat that darkfriends are after him and tells him to be careful ❤️

“‘well,’ mat said, shrugging, ‘you’re alive, and three of them are dead. seems like a reasonably good outcome.’” fucking thank you mat for acknowledging that elayne accomplished something rather than getting on her case about taking risks! king!!

“‘mat,’ she said, taking off his medallion. ‘here, it’s time i gave this back. you should know that it probably saved my life tonight.’” ❤️❤️ this is now TWICE that mat’s medallion has saved elayne’s life (with the first being the gholam in ebou dar) this ship literally writes itself! [nynaeve voice] why aren’t they married!

of all my should-have-been ships, mat/elayne truly does feel like The One That Got Away. obviously rand/mat and elayne/avi would never ACTUALLY have happened canonically in the books (tho avilayne is a shoe-in for the show and i can’t wait!) but mat/elayne absolutely could have happened within the heteronormative confines of canon. and they spend more time together and have more relationship development than elayne has with her actual love interest, and elayne fills the same “everything he thought he hated” tropes as mat’s actual love interest but in a much better and more effective way and challenges his prejudices about channelers rather than enforces them.

i once put this whole canon matlayne scenario in the replies of a previous recap, but you’re gonna hear it again! SO they could’ve had their Big Damn Kiss and love confession post-gholam in acos and then fucked and then got tragically separated, and elayne having to leave mat behind in ebou dar for the sake of getting the kin away from the seanchan would’ve been a beautiful angsty heart vs. duty moment for her. then elayne finds out she’s pregnant, mat’s escape from ebou dar now has the concrete goal of wanting to get back to caemlyn and elayne, and then they finally reunite in this book and mat finds out he’s gonna be a dad and he realizes that the idea of commitment and kids doesn’t make him feel leashed anymore because he loves elayne and the twins and wants to have that family and knows that elayne would never deny him his freedom like tuon would and now mat has had actual positive and believable growth as a person and character! maybe he could even also become her warder for a “hates aes sedai -> warder to an aes sedai” arc, esp since he’s always been so obsessed with protecting elayne and there was so much foreshadowing of Warder Mat that went nowhere! and elayne gets her challenging-preconceptions-of-mat arc expanded and gets to actually have her babydaddy around for at least a few days of her pregnancy! i love randlayne with my whole heart, but if canon insisted on doing them so absolutely dirty, then i would’ve preferred a meaty matlayne storyline like this. (and again, rand/mat/elayne/avi is Actually the way, but i’m thinking specifically in terms of what would have been genuinely plausible for rj to write.)

anyway, back on topic. slayer wins the award for most pointless WOT villain. literally every single time he shows up i go “wow i completely forgot this guy existed” jfgk and he’s rand’s (and galad’s) presumed-dead uncle who is actually alive and has somehow become evil and somehow has TAR powers! that should’ve been interesting!

we see rand again, but again it’s from min’s pov. can i get some rand pov please? he feels like too MUCH of a jesus figure in this book, with us just seeing him perform miracles etc. from other people’s povs rather than actually getting to be in his head and see how HE’S feeling post-epiphany.

rand goes back to bandar eban intending to fix the starvation he shrugged at and ran away from in the previous book. min keeps simpering that it wasn’t his fault and that he isn’t responsible for the people he literally rules and, when a domani is rightfully angry with him, yells at the guy that rand is too busy and has had more important things to deal with, though rand cuts her off and accepts blame. she was always enabling him or avoiding him when he was at his worst, and now that the time has come to make amends for the bad things he did, she tries to coddle him and shield him from any blame or regret. whereas i just bet that elayne and aviendha would go “yes you did a bad thing but you’re a good person and you can fix it” because they understand leadership and responsibility and honor.

rand still refers to tam as “tam” instead of “my father”! even post-epiphany, even now that he’s reconnected with his humanity! smh!

rand to min: “you’re more vital than them all [the kings, aiel chiefs, aes sedai, asha’man, and ta’veren who follow him]. you remind me who i am.” FOOTAGE! NOT! FUCKING! FOUND!!!!! tam was the one who got him back in touch with himself! nynaeve, mat, perrin, egwene, and elayne were the ones rand was thinking about in the last book when missing his old life and hating how much he’s changed! min does not KNOW who he is because all she’s interested in is having sex with him and never wants to actually have meaningful conversations with him! she met the sheepherder fucking ONCE let’s not act like she’s the only one who can remind him of who he is!

“besides, you think more clearly than most of those who call themselves my counselors.” footage not found, she’s incapable of thinking about a single thing but rand and how hot she wants to look for him. “you could be a queen, if you wished it.” LMAO elayne has not been out here busting her ass for the past 6 books only for rand to claim that useless helpless skill-less min could be a queen! she would not last one HOUR in elayne’s shoes!

“all i wish for is you, stupid looby.” yeah, we know, min. we know.

and then rand’s like hey i wish you didn’t call me names so much and min’s like “well life’s tough isn’t it” what a supportive partner. not that mat/tuon hasn’t already clearly shown us that the narrative does not understand the difference between “cute nicknames to call your partner” and “continuing to call your partner nicknames they have told you they don’t like or want to be called”

min really does exist only to provide outsider pov of rand. the vast majority of her pov chapters since joining him could be summarized without having to even mention her hardly at all. because she never actually DOES anything, she just sits there watching other people do things and tells us about it. she’s a narrator, not a participant. in this scene, rand and the domani are hard at work getting the city back in order and min doesn’t even HELP she literally just sits on a crate and watches everyone else work! i hate her so much. elayne and aviendha would be rolling up their sleeves and going right into the thick of it!

“i have heard some of what these men in white have done in the wetlands. i think they wear white to hide what is dark inside of them.” go off edarra! “we shouldn’t be fighting them, not with the last battle coming. if we squabble among ourselves, we will lose to the dark one.” “i would like to have seen someone suggest that to you when [the shaido] still held your wife!” go OFF edarra!

and so perrin wusses out of killing the whitecloaks, as i predicted, however they’re gonna have a lil trial and that actually sounds fun, i’m excited! but that’s getting a little ahead, so back to earlier in the chapter.

GALAD AND BERELAIN ARE IMMEDIATELY SMITTEN WITH EACH OTHER JKFJG I’M HOLLERING hot people supremacy! the bisexual population of randland is shaking! literally the parks and rec “they would make the most beautiful super baby, but what if super baby became too powerful?” meme!

“‘elayne’s fine,’ perrin said gruffly. ‘last i heard - which was only a few days back - she’d secured her claim to the throne. i wouldn’t be surprised if she’s looking to marry rand by now. if she can pull him away from whatever realm he’s conquering.’” thank you perrin for another randlayne crumb but also i’m hollering again jdkfgj poor elayne has worked so hard to keep her relationship with rand under wraps and perrin is out here blabbing about it to two entire armies! perrin and min shaking hands meme on spilling every single detail of elayne’s personal life to half the continent

ok but like fuck man i would LOOOOVE to see randlayne go public now that elayne’s secured the throne and doesn’t have to worry as much about being seen as tdr’s puppet. they would be the power couple of randland!!! even moreso than berelain and galad!! crying over the wasted potential!! tho i guess making it known (or at least heavily suspected) that the babies are the dragon reborn’s kids is still definitely a concern since it would put targets on their backs. but if so many people already fucking know anyway then what is there to lose lmao

also, it makes me incredibly smug that pretty much every single one of rand’s friends would definitely be team randlayne over team rand/min if given a choice - elayne is mat, nynaeve, and egwene’s bestie, and perrin at least knows her from a few weeks in the stone as opposed to min whom he met for a day. egwene has no idea rand even has a relationship with min, and mat seems to have forgotten he saw them fucking and perrin doesn’t seem to have ever seen min and rand being romantic since he’s so confident rand’s going to marry elayne (which leads me to conclude that he thinks about rand way less than mat does and thus has way fewer visions of him)

“had aybara intended insult by indicating a relationship between elayne and the dragon reborn? unfortunately, galad knew his sister all too well. she was impulsive, and she had shown an unseemly fascination with young al’thor. ‘my sister may do as she wishes,’ galad said, surprised at how easily he contained his annoyance at both her and the dragon reborn.” oh i can’t wait for galad and gawyn to both show up at the palace and be like “elayne! what’s new?” and she goes “oh, this is my husband the dragon reborn and my husband the general of the dragon’s armies and my wife an aiel channeler, and also i’m pregnant with the dragon reborn’s twins!” and they just lose their shit

perrin’s like “the whitecloaks attacked me and killed my friend” “the woman who was with you?” “no, a wolf” kfgk cracking up over this (i should note that is an approximation of the conversation, not a transcription hjdkf)

“wolves hate shadowspawn” “and how do you know this” [silence] why is this entire conversation so funny!!

and then galad’s like “ok well i don’t think that killing a wolf is grounds for murder so........” he’s so tired, can’t help but sympathize with him a little in this convo jdkfjgh

“he glanced at [berelain] for a moment, and found her blushing as she regarded him. it was faint, but he was sure he saw it. he found himself blushing as well.” oh my god wholesome!!!! the 2 sexiest characters on the continent (objectively, anyway - in my heart i know it’s actually rand and elayne who hold those crowns) turning into shy blushing messes because of each other, i’m! 🥺

morgase-galad reunion!!!! “that was his stepmother. that red-gold hair he had tugged as a child. that face, so beautiful and strong. those eyes. those were her eyes.” “hesitantly, galad reached out and touched the apparition on the cheek. the skin was warm.” “she cut off as he seized her in an embrace.” 😭😭😭😭

galad HAS redeemed himself somewhat in this chapter, mostly because i am a sucker for his and morgase’s relationship (and also because his new thing with berelain is adorable). however, still thrilled to see morgase drag his ass a little bit: “i’m taking you back to my camp, mother. then we can discuss the way you were treated by [perrin].” “an order, galad? have i no say in the matter? ... i have more to fear from your...associates than from perrin aybara.” you tell him!

galad and perrin decide to have morgase be the judge in perrin’s trial. “both men turned to morgase. she stood in her simple yellow dress, looking more a queen by the moment.” ❤️❤️❤️ i do love morgase’s arc! i just wish it had been less trauma porn-y during the middle books, and also that tallanvor did not exist.

“[egwene] loathed [the seanchan] with a hatred that sometimes worried her.” you hold onto that hatred egwene! everybody else is going soft on them, you better hold onto that hatred!

scenes of egwene absolutely owning the hall my beloved! “‘i believe the hall acts in wisdom,’ egwene said, speaking very carefully. the sitters turned to her. some looked relieved. those who were more familiar with her, however, looked suspicious.” that’s my girl! ❤️❤️

the hall doesn’t want egwene having control over the war against the shadow, so they propose that they have sole control over the war and egwene have sole control over dealing with monarchs. but then SIKE the dragon reborn IS a monarch since he’s the king of illian, so egwene has sole control over dealing with him!! cackling and pumping my fist!

“he will need a firm, familiar hand” suddenly i am hoping that the show beefing up randgwene will result in some kinky Authority Issues and Asserting Dominance late-series fics for them jkfjg

egwene also gets a proposal passed that meetings of the hall can’t convene without every sitter and the amyrlin present (unless someone can’t be found or has sent word directly that they can’t attend), so no more secret meetings where some sitters can sneakily get things passed without their opponents there to prevent it (such as siuan’s deposition)

“the last battle is here. i will not withdraw my proposal. either you will stand now, or you will be known - through all time - as one of those who refused. at the dusk of an age, can you not stand for openness and light?” no one does inspirational and/or guilt-trip-y speeches like egwene! ❤️

i don’t caaaaare about ituralde. he was introduced way too late in the story for me to get invested. his plotlines should’ve gone to bashere instead, i care about bashere! bashere’s actually been super underused the past few books, now that i think about it. probably because a new great general was invented to get all these plotlines!

“[morgase] remembered her first impressions of [galad], long ago when she’d married his father. the young child had simply been part of the deal, and while morgase had adopted him, she had always worried that he felt less loved than his siblings.” 🥺

“[as a child, galad had been] quick to point out when someone did something wrong. but unlike other children - elayne especially - he had not used his knowledge as a weapon.” no need to do elayne like that wtf! she’s one of the most generous and empathetic characters in the series, not someone who weaponizes other people’s mistakes! the only person she does that to (besides her enemies ofc) is mat, but a) he usually starts it and b) egwene and nynaeve, who ARE judgmental in this way, influenced her attitude towards him, and even so she was always much fairer to him than nynaeve was.

“galad, listen to yourself. you name them witches? you went to train with them, perhaps to become a warder!” get his ass!

“what is the point of this, mother?” “to make you think, son. in ways that i should have encouraged before, rather than leaving you to your simple illusions. life is not so easy as the toss of a coin, one side or the other.” get his ass! “the Children like to speak of the light protecting them, of guiding their judgment and leading people to justice. that isn’t how it works, galad...sometimes a good man can do wrong. at times, it is appropriate to punish him. at other times, punishment serves nobody, and the best thing to do is to let him continue and learn.” get his ass! such a great convo, but i can’t believe that a 30-year-old adult needs this explained to him lmao galad’s Lawful Goodness really does stretch credibility at times.

tam tells perrin that aes sedai have summoned him to see rand, so we get a nice little timeline matchup milestone here

elayne is carried on a litter to the city walls to watch the dragon demonstration because she promised melfane that she’d stay off her feet but NOT that she’d stay in her bedroom jkjfg i love her!!! an icon!

“she spared a moment to feel guilty for making the poor men, in dress uniform, carry her through this early-summer heat. but these men would ride to battle in her name; they could stand a little warm weather. how often did guardsmen get the honor of carrying their queen, anyway?” this feels like the type of Spoiled Entitled Noble Caricature that mat thinks elayne is but that we have never seen elayne to be in her own pov (or in non-mat povs). i just keep getting the sense that sanderson doesn’t like elayne lmao or is exaggerating/criticizing her flaws in a way that doesn’t feel true to rj’s elayne.

the theme of this recap is: is sanderson actually being harder on elayne than rj was, or have i just by now seen so much elayne hate online that it makes me extra hypersensitive to even the tiniest perceived criticism of her?

“she had to find a way to seize the sun throne without mixing to much in the local House politics.” okay, so sounds like it would be a great time to have a randlayne reunion in cairhien so rand can publicly give her the sun throne and the cairhienin nobility won’t be able to say shit about it (since elayne has said earlier in this book that openly accepting THIS throne as a gift from rand is no problem at all, unlike the lion throne). i always love to see elayne shine on her own and am excited to find out how she snags the sun throne, don’t get me wrong, i’m just saying that throughout this series, so many things would get done so much faster and more easily if characters actually made use of Traveling/TAR to be in constant contact with each other so they can lend each other a hand sometimes! and if rand ever actually bothered to pop in and visit his own girlfriend from time to time!

“someone [on the next tower over] raised a hat into the air and waved at her. mat wanted to watch from the tower with the working dragon, it seemed. foolhardy man. what if the thing exploded like a nightflower?” mat waves at elayne! elayne is worried about mat being too close to the dragon!

“elayne focused on [the people in the other tower] with the glass. one carried a small torch. mat watched with a curious expression.” elayne i see you going “oh let me look through my little looking glass so i can see the dragon” and then just checking out mat instead

“mat was holding his ears and scowling, which gave elayne a smile. he really should have watched from her tower.” elayne wishes mat was in her tower with her 😌

and so cannons have been invented! i will end the recap with an ominous quote from birgitte on the nature of warfare: “the world just changed, elayne. it just changed in a very large way. i have a terrible feeling that it’s only the beginning.”

#wot #wot book spoilers

[carefulfears]

@amplifyme thank you lovely! answering these one by one <3

top 5 secondary characters

(cheating a bit and answering this to mean anyone not M&S)

1/ alex krycek

i'm a little bit obsessed with him...union-sponsored krycek girl above all else.

he's a hired assassin that constantly accidentally kills the wrong person. he's a key figure in a decades long conspiracy, and plays for both teams. depending on seemingly nothing more than his little moods. he can fuck his way to the top of any russian gulag or united nations committee. he holds mulder at gunpoint then kisses his cheek. no one knows why. he destroys the only thing that could save mulder's life with a smile, then a month later, tells him that he has always prayed he would win.

after his death, it surprises no one to see his ghost linger behind mulder's shoulder.

is it rivalry or devotion? is it sabotage or incompetence? is it truth or lies? no one knows! least of all him!

2/ walter skinner

this one part of audries' fluorescence and night on all sides:

Skinner has the uncanny ability to materialize at the cusp of disaster. He's a footnote to their tragedy. No, that's not right. He's the one writing the footnotes, filling in the blanks in the best way he can. It strikes her that he will outlive them all, in the end.

he is the setting for the conclusion of all of their adventures, whether it's being chewed out in his office or held in the west virginia snow. he bears witness to all of their testimonies, reads all of their reports. he sells his soul to the devil to keep theirs intact.

when scully won't let mulder go by himself, skinner is the person she trusts with her person. he cries with her when he comes back alone.

he's the first to know about their baby, and eighteen years later, still the first to protect him.

he's a hardass sometimes, it is exhausting to write the footnotes to this particular story, but he loves those crazy agents from the basement of his. and he's forever waiting for them to come back and keep up the fight, bother his assistant, put another statement on his desk.

3/ john doggett

whenever i think about doggett, i think about his first case on the x-files. and how it was scully's first case without mulder, ever, and how hard she was trying to appear sure, how hard she was trying "to be mulder."

until that one moment in the car when she said "maybe i'm wrong." and confessed to him that she doubts herself, that making these leaps doesn't come naturally to her. that maybe she's just trying too hard.

and doggett told her that he didn't go to oxford. that he doesn't know anything about the paranormal. but he doesn't think she's wrong.

"i'm no fox mulder, but i can tell when a man's hiding something."

it says so much about his character to me that he would show up on day 1 of the job that no one wants, that was a punishment, that everyone makes fun of him for, having stayed up all weekend reading every file.

it says so much to me that on day 1 he's able to tell her, look, i know that i'm not who you want to do this with. and i might not even be as good at it as he would be. but i think you're doing a good job, and i am following your lead.

doggett is defined in being a by-the-book investigator, but just like skeptic/believer didn't ever really come close to describing the dynamic between mulder and scully, the flipped roles of this new partnership exceed it as well.

where scully's skepticism for many years was to question and fear, doggett's disbelief is grounded in loyalty, and there is no trail that he isn't willing to follow if he thinks it will lead to a solution.

monica was right, he's a dog person, "you're faithful, you're dependable, you're without guile, you're very comfortable to be around."

he brings a "get well soon" card to another agent in the hospital, even before being partnered with her. he runs into open fire to save a man who was nothing but harsh to him. he breaks his emotional support redhead's baby daddy out of military prison, and is willing to face the consequences.

he is ride-or-die, he is steady as a rock, and he is the perfect energy to have around amidst so much change in the later seasons.

4/ the lone gunmen

our boys!! how can you see them and not crack a smile, not instantly feel that the episode is better when the gang is all here?

they participate in last minute heists of government facilities, they babysit, they call to invite you over for cheese steaks and digitized kennedy assassination footage. what can't they do!

of course mulder's only friends are these three conspiracy-obsessed nerds. he is the cool one of this group.

but my favorite thing to see is how much scully grew to love them, and vice versa, over the years. the way they huddle at the loft to dig up dirt on diana, and around scully's kitchen table to discuss next steps post-resurrection.

the way the four of them are mulder's team, and they yell at each other over headsets and jump in the backseat en route to the bermuda triangle.

the way she says they are "the only ones left we can trust" with her baby. and later, in the end, "they meant so much to me."

"the three stooges," "cowardly lion, scarecrow, toto!," there's a reason why their intended one episode arc spanned 11 seasons and 25 years.

5/ monica reyes

scully's tall dark-haired believer who would do anything for her...it must be a law of nature that when one fades away, another has to fill the role.

this show suffers so much without mulder's optimism and belief, and that's really what makes s8 feel so heavy. there's no one there who will trust that time is moving backwards and help or who will jump unquestioning into the fight against alien-baby-snatching doctors.

monica joining the team in s9 is what gives the show that new life, and what makes s9's MOTWs so much better. and just like how doggett's skepticism is not scully's, monica's belief is her own.

she doesn't just want to believe, and she doesn't believe out of trauma or grief, she believes because she feels.

she doesn't come in with any preconceived notions, she just "tries to stay open" and be sensitive to her surroundings.

the x-files are, as leyla harrison says, "in good hands."

(pre-revival CSM is one of the most interesting characters ever to me, i always love watching whatever he's up to. but he doesn't make the list on account of being nasty.)

#thank you for the ask! #it's fun to chat about characters that i normally don't think about much #asks #kae meta

[thatfoxnamedfinley]

*folds hands on top of table* So...I started reading The First Law Trilogy.

I’m bout 175 pages in and I have many profound thoughts

I want to post cause I read D E A T H L Y slow and it takes me a long time to push through a book, so 175 pages in is quite an accomplishment for me (it’s taken me a week to read this far if that says anything)

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT, IF YOU KNOW THEN YOU KNOW LETS GOOO

1.) To absolutely no one’s surprise my favorite character is Logen “Bloody Nine” Ninefingers. That’s easily the best POV for me so far. My mans is just *waves hand around* COMPLEX. After being introduced to him I just automatically placed him into a box of the archetype I thought he fit into. However, he’s full of surprises, as Bayaz says. You expect him to be one way (especially after you are introduced to his former crew and you see how some of them act/think), and he’s just not. You have to be realistic about these things. But I DO feel like his character is building towards him doing something HORRIBLE at the end of this book. Everyone he encounters is like O ShIt LoGEN is A BaD MAN HEs a RABiDd DOG hE hAs KILLEd MoERE PeopPLE THAN THE PLAGuE and he’s literally a sweet puppy so I’m waiting for shit to hit the fan when we REALLY see what he is capable of.

2.) Other favs are Bethod (I WANT THAT BACKSTORY HE HAS WITH LOGEN SO BAD. WTF HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM THAT BETHOD SHOWED LOGEN MERCY?????), Bayaz (he is an old sassy mage and he cracks me tf up), Quai (soft boi who can’t remember his studies at all), and, oddly, Practical Severard. Sand dan Glokta is a cool character and I do enjoy that POV as well (because I know all these storylines are building to something and Glokta is doing a lot of behind the scenes shit right now politically), but I like Severard. If he dies off screen I’ll be surprised. I like the little bits we’ve gotten about him. I like Dogman too even though we haven’t gotten a lot of him either (I quite enjoyed the little chapter with Logen’s old crew, Dogman seems to be the most loyal).

3.) Least fav right now is Jezal. BUT TO BE FAIR TO HIM I think he’s being written that way on purpose so we root for him later once he undergoes character development. I just got to the part where Ardee tells him off for being a spoiled brat with a silverspoon and she makes him feel so embarrassed (LOL) that he finally decides to dedicate himself to win the Contest.  So we’ll see how his story goes. 

4.) What I find the most fascinating is I’m still not even sure WTF is going on. Like...if you asked me what the plot was so far and where the story is going...I don’t think I could tell you. We’re just following characters around while things are set in motion. The North aka Bethod wants Angland. Logen can communicate with spirits and that’s rare. His crew thinks he’s dead. Glokta is limping around killing people in a dungeon for Arch Lector Sult and torturing assassins. Jezal literally sucks at fencing despite getting roasted every day. 

But the characters are so engaging and despite not knowing where tf the story is headed, I find myself really enjoying it and wanting to continue reading. Joe Abercrombie’s prose is excellent.

#joe abercrombie #the blade itself #the first law #the first law trilogy #logen ninefingers #bloody nine #bayaz #malacus quai #jezal dan luthar #sand dan glokta #glokta #bethod

[the-official-jk-rowling]

Alright, I've been analyzing Harry Potter again, and I have three huge questions. (I apologize in advance for this being long)

why did you write this How does wizard metabolism work? In the books, we're told the students eat a massive breakfast and dinner everyday, yet none of them ever gain weight. Plus there's Hogsmeade and the trolly express where the kids eat a ton of candy. Harry especially confuses me. In GOF, he gets three cakes, and I can't remember if he eats them all or not, but he eats at least one. He doesn't even get a stomachache despite a good part of his diet at the time being sugar. Yet he's as active as ever, so are the other characters eating a lot. Unless they're evil, then they gain weight (Malfoy's goons for example). So does magic burn calories? Or are there some magic exercises? Or does wizard food automatically convert into magic like in Undertale? That'd actually be some cool worldbuilding. - Some quick math. The an average sheet cake has about 4,000 calories and 350 grams of sugar (estimated). Harry gets three, making the number 12,000 calories and 1,050 grams of sugar. Cake also only lasts for 2-7 days in a refrigerator, but Harry was keeping it under a board in his floor, reducing it to about 3 days. That means Harry would've had to eaten AT LEAST 7 days worth of sugar (50 is the maximum daily sugar intake) within 3 plus his regular meals. I spent way too much time calculating this. Boy if only I could put this effort into math class . . .

2. Why does Ron become such an asshole after book 3? He was pretty chill and light-hearted in books 1-3, but in books 4-7, he's unbearable. He's rude, cocky, jealous, and gets as angsty as your average YA love interest. Like Lavender's worst crime was being clingy and worried yet he treats her like garbage. And the audience is EXPECTED to hate her. I've watched one of your interviews and I have a theory it's because you were upset that Ron was getting more attention than your self insert Hermione, so you character-assassinated him.

3. If Hogwarts is considered the safest place in the wizarding world, why can't they keep Harry there? Yeah, yeah, power of love spell and all that. But we're told Dumbledore is the one of the most powerful guys alive. Plus the other witches, plus the extra security, Harry should be a-okay. I think it said something about not taking summer students, but they could easily make an exception for the Boy who Lived. It's not like you haven't given him ridiculous plot armor and convivence before.

1. It's just funny for the bad guys to get the ass end of diabetes! Good guys can eat whatever they want in my eyes, because they're good. Like Shaggy and Scooby-Doo.

2. Ron was faking being nice! I never liked him to begin with because of his hidden personality. So..I decided to reveal his true character later down the line! And maybe he was more popular than Harmione..but why was that? She's so pretty, smart, and filled with everything that everyone should like!

3. Do you really think I'm gonna let Harry go to a school with a gay man??? I mean, he does at one point..or maybe a few points unknowingly..but I like to prevent any old man from being able to prey upon a young man whenever I have valid excuses to do so!

#it took me a couple days to prepare my brain for reading this all- #parody #satirical #satire #i do not support jkr #jk rowling #anti jk rowling #anti jkr #fuck jkr #tw jkr #jkr is trash #fuck jk rowling #screw jkr #jkr cw #i hate jkr #boycott jkr #f jkr #jk rowling's ask box #tw jk rowling #jk rowling is trash #fuck homophobia #fuck harry potter #anti hp #anti harry potter #anti hogwarts legacy #fuck hp #fuck hogwarts legacy