#almost every month it's the same thing again and it's extremely exhausting

[hangryyeena]

hiding out in my Ryoma corner and avoiding Danganronpa fans on Twitter 🧯🛡️

#bit of a rant/vent about my day in the tags so feel free to filter out the // rant tag #// rant #i'm honestly so tired of the constant 'V3 bad' discourse that constantly appears in the fandom #like we get it!! you don't like it! #almost every month it's the same thing again and it's extremely exhausting #and the fighting/arguments that occur because of it is depressing #i know it's just a video game but honestly it needs to go #i just want to celebrate a fictional character's birthday in peace #not that they're celebrating the day before like they did with kokichi :/ #for context it's currently ryoma's birthday in japan and i've seen nothing on the western side #i'm like the only one who really cares and it feels lonely #then again drtwt isn't very fun #the danganronpa topic section is just the same type of content over and over #also it's chock full of outside people being mad about the games existing #like it doesn't matter if you're critical of dr or not you're still gonna be put in the hot seat #which isn't fair #like why do i get punished #anyways i'm tired i just want my tennis blorbo in my brain all day #long post #sorry

[dahliakbs]

(Wanted to get this out of my head, don't take this to seriously plz)

Masterlist

Platonic Yandere! Batfam x Rescued! Reader : Isolation

How many times had they told you, how many times had you heard the same phrase over and over again. Everytime you asked it was always the same reply and at this point it was starting to get to you.

Your life had been changed by these very same people but only one thing stayed the same.

The isolation

A couple months ago you'd cry and beg for a life like this but now that you were experiencing it, it was frankly speaking a bit tiresome.

Back then you'd been trapped in a lab, being experimented on till you collapsed from the pain and exhaustion but now it was different.

Ever since they'd saved you from that madness you never had to go through anything like that ever again. This time it was different...

You were allowed to eat when you wanted to, bathe when you wanted, you were allowed movies and any other kind of entertainment from your newfound family.

But there was always one thing they'd never allow you to do.

Go outside, Go into society.

They'd always came up with excuses and reasons as to why you weren't supposed to go anywhere near the outside world but you still never truly understood why you weren't allowed out there.

Everytime you bright up the idea they'd either blatantly ignore it or conversation there. Like the other day when you'd overheard the others talking about some sort of school that your new younger brother attended everyday.

But when you finally asked them about it they'd all went dead silent and instead you were rushed out of the room quicky and sent to your bedroom. Where you spent the rest of the evening with your lovely brother Dick.

He'd gotten you to forget all about what you'd said earlier and instead got you wondering about what movie you were going to watch later.

It was honestly so scary how they'd manage to get you to change your mind and forget about something in a matter of seconds. But that was until he left the room.

The thought came back to you while you were picking out the movie and it made you pause and think about the the many thoughts they'd somehow made you forgotten.

The marks on your body were still extremely visible and even looking at yourself in the mirror was a hard task to accomplish but this time you let the memories flow back in.

The suck experiments, the pills they'd made you take almost every single day, the way they stripped you of your humanity and turned you into a mindless test subject for whatever experiment they wished to carry out.

Then your thoughts drifted back to the night you'd been captured, the night you'd been freed and showed a new life. The night your saviors promised you a new life where you never needed to wort about any harm coming to you graciously clinged onto them and the little hope they gave you.

But something felt wrong.

You never felt truly free.

Instead you felt as if you were still caged and under their control.

Even if your life had been changed for the better they were still withholding s lot of things from you. So you made up your mind.

You'd start uncovering any and every secret they kept from you, whether it was for you own good or they just chose not to tell you.

And you started with the lonely grandfather clock stood in the middle of the hallway.

Anytime you questioned it they'd always change the subject and immediately try to steer you away from it. The one time you'd been close to figuring out what they kept in there you'd been stopped by you little brother Damian.

He'd always kept an irritated expression in his face when speaking to you but his actions always showed you that he was only putting it on for show.

So when he caught you trying to decipher the clock he'd quickly grabbed your arm with unbelievable strength and quickly pulled you away from the wall.

"Why do you want to know what goes on down there so badly" he immediately asked but then gave you no chance to answer the question.

"If you want to know so badly it's just the batcave, nothing special since you already know we're vigilantes"

Of course you'd already known they're secret since they were the ones who saved you but if they knew that then why were you still not allowed down there.

And that was the question you were going to answer tonight. So you waited till you knew atleast everyone was either out or in bed and snuck down the hallways until you came across the lonely grandfather clock.

Finally seeing the clock up close nearly made you second guess yourself. Why would you second guess your saviors when they were the ones who got you out of that mess.

It just felt so wrong but you always had a feeling that there was something they'd been keeping secret.

You could see it in the way they acted around you, always treating you as if you were a delicate toy that they just absolutely needed to keep away from the outside world so at least now you'd be one step closer to finding out why.

So you quickly set the clock to 10:48 and went inside before anyone could we you. Then you approached the large computer set in the middle of the cave ready to turn it on but it was already on.

Lighting up the entire cave with video feed from the hidden surveillance camera's around the manor, but instead of showing you the many rooms around the manor it showed you something rather bone chilling.

It showed you video feed of your bedroom.

Video feed of the room you thought was your private safe haven. A place to relax when the manor was just to much for you but instead it was being broadcasted onto the large computer kept only in the dark cave.

You honestly didn't know what to think.

It wasn't the first time in your life that you'd been watched as if you were nothing but entertainment but this time it was being done by the people you trusted.

If it weren't for the voice you heard coming from next to you you were pretty sure you would have fainted on the spot.

"Your not supposed to be down here (reader)" Damian stated, clearly ignoring the shock on your face.

"What is this" you immediately asked.

"I told the others that something like this would've happened but no one listens to me in this household" he started taking quick steps towards you but your body couldn't bring itself to react.

You'd already felt so relaxed and safe around these people that your body didn't even think of them as a threat.

But your mind was racing with thoughts like why would they do this or what would possess them to do something like this.

"Well talk about this tomorrow morning" he takes your hand and leads you back up those grand stairs you'd came down just a moment ago.

In that moment you allowed him to escort you back to your bedroom, you allowed him to grab you s glass of water and you drank it with no hesitation.

Welcoming the tired and dizzy feeling that came after drinking the small glass of water. Allowing yourself to quickly pass out under the watch of your supposed savior turned new captor.

#yandere batfamily #yandere batfam #yandere x you #batfam x reader #batfam x you #batfamily #batfam #batfamily x reader #batman #batman x reader #dc #dc x you #tim drake x you #dick grayson x you #jason todd x you #damian wayne x you #damian al ghul x reader #yandere dc

[strawberrykisseslia]

Vanessa Shelly x F! reader

TW: none, some fluff, slight angst, headcanon for Vanessa: she is a flower nerd, she almost knows every type and the meanings of them

A/N: This love by Taylor Swift is probably my favorite song by her at the moment so I wrote a cute little ff for it! :3 also have this while I'll try to make a Christmas special. 🎄

Words count: 1129, it looks a lot more LMFAO

It probably has been months since you and Vanessa broke up, exactly 7 months. The reason for your broke up was pretty messy, but mainly because of how cold and distant Vanessa became towards the end. Her night shifts were just getting longer and longer, you couldn't wait for her more, you needed someone to hold you at night and just be there for you.

After 2 to 3 months of the broke up you decide to date other girls but you it never lasted longer than some hookups. They weren't Vanessa. You missed her badly, every night, every day.

You were sitting nervously in a fancy restaurant that Vanessa picked out for your date... wait? How did you end up here?

One night you were down in a bar to just clear your mind after another one night thing and just to think about everything that has been happening to you through this year. Vanessa popped up in your head again. Everything you shared was wonderful during the beginning, everything just felt perfect. However, when Vanessa became more cold and distant a lot changed. You were feeling lonely though you loved her very much. You tried to talk to her many times about how you should fix this but most of the times she turned you down. All she said was that you were being too clingy and how tired she is. Everytime she promised you that she will try to change but they were just white lies. That's why you broke up with her. As you were getting deeper in your thoughts you suddenly felt a soft tap on your shoulder. When you turned to see who was it, you were left somewhat speechless. It was Vanessa. She looked... different? Her hair was in the usual low ponytail but her eyes looked extremely tired. You could tell she was exhausted. Her under eye bags told everything.

"Vanessa?.. What are you doing here?" You asked with curiosity. She sighed and looked down. She was nervous. "I was out with some friends... then I spotted you." She looked back at you. Despite her tiredness, her look was gentle. You nodded with understanding. "I see..." There were a minute of awkward silence between the two of you but the blonde decided to break the silence. "So... how's everything?" You looked back at her and chuckled lightly. "Not that good just to be honest. I'm pretty lonely.. How about you?" She smiled softly. She understood you, she was really lonely as well. "Same from here. The house has been really quite since you left..." She looked down with some sadness. You felt sad as well because you still loved her very much, but has she changed anything?

Some minutes later she was now next to you chatting about the dates she was on and how badly they turned out. You couldn't help but laugh but your dates weren't that sunshine as well. That was when Vanessa asked you, "Look... I know, we separated on bad terms... but I want you to know that I have changed and I tried to focus and work on myself to be better." You crossed your arms with amusement. "Is that so? I'm glad, it's good to hear, you should be really proud of yourself then!" You smiled. "Well, yea, I am. But there's one more thing..." She nervously quietly tapped on her glass. You raise an eyebrow and tilted your head. "What?" She sighed heavily. You could tell it was not easy for her to say it. "I... want to make things good between us... I want us to be something again." She looked at you with fear of rejection. You looked down and sighed. "Vanessa... I-I don't know. I mean I still love you very much... but I'm not sure." She nodded. "I understand... but please, one date and if it will go bad then... I will leave you alone but... please." You didn't exactly know how to answer this but you badly wanted to make things right... but what if it will end up just like it did before? That was the thing you were afraid of. The loneliness, the coldness of the warm home.

Eventually you said yes and that's how you ended up in that fancy restaurant. It actually has been weeks since Vanessa asked you out on the date but you needed proper time to think about the invitation. You needed to clear with yourself what you are going to get into again but you loved her very much and you needed at least this last date if it was the truly last time, you are ever going to see her.

You were extremely nervous though. Vanessa were as well even because of how late she was running due to the storm outside. You weren't mad at her for being late, you were only worried about her and the storm.

After 20 minutes she made it. In her hands there were white roses, which mostly symbolized loyalty. You always knew it was important for Vanessa what type of flower she is bringing. She was a big flower nerd. (Headcanon.)

You smiled at her and got up from your seat. After she placed down the roses she hugged you tightly and gave you a small kiss on the cheek. She knew you liked kisses on your cheeks and she always found that adorable.

You and Vanessa ordered your good and started to talk about everything. Laughed about the awkward dates you guys had with other girls. You even talked about how you felt during your relationship with her. She truly understood everything you said and it was clear to you that she actually has changed. She understood her mistakes, you could see it in her eyes and her eyes never lied.

The date went well, better than you expected it.

~

It has been years since you started dating with Vanessa. It was the best decision you has ever made. She started to talk more and more about her true feelings and you appreciated her honesty. She made more time for you and was always there for you, of course you did the same thing for her and of course you understood that her job may not let her have much free time but she explained everything to you, the reasons why and just how will she try and make up for it.

She changed a lot, in a good way and you were extremely happy with how well her healing were going since you knew about her traumatic childhood.

You knew that there were be ups and downs in your relationship but at least now you both knew how to help each other and how to get through those times.

,,This love is good,

This love is bad,

This love is alive back from the dead,

These hands had to let it go free, and

This love came back to me

This love left a permanent mark

This love is glowing in the dark

These hands had to let it go free, and

This love came back to me"

#Spotify #elizabeth lail #female reader #lesbian #vanessa shelly #five nights at freddy's #fnaf movie #fnaf #vanessa afton #taylor swift #five nights at freddy's security breach #fnaf security breach #vanessa shelly x reader #vanessa shelly x fem!reader #vanessa shelly x you #lgbtq

[judysxnd]

Hi there!

I have a Pedro x f!reader request, can we get a cute/fluffy date day with Pedro after he comes back from a long filming stint?

idk i was thinking something like the aquarium/the zoo/visit a bookshop an have coffee, shall let you decide!

Thankyou🫶🫶

Proud for finally being able to write something, but again I don't like what I wrote. I'm not overthinking it, I'll publish it either way.

Hope you'll enjoy!

———————————————————————————

Pedro has been away for months now. It's been hard for the both of you, especially this time, because none of you could actually fly to see each other. It never really happens, because you always manage to go and see him, even just for a few days. But this time, your schedule has been hectic and week-ends were shortened because your were spending them working from home.

You still managed to call each other, but never for long, due to the time differences, either one of you got busy at some point. And it is different. It's not physical, sometimes you get to see each other, but most of the time it was only phone calls as you were at work and Pedro on set.

You both felt the frustration. This time, it felt extremely longer, and it irritated you so much. You didn't have your lover by your side, he wasn't here to support you, to help you in hard times, and a text was definitely not enough. Every little things upset you. Not helping, was that every bad things were happening at the same time. It was getting intense and you didn't know how to act anymore.

Neither of you knew when it would end. Pedro told you that it was lasting longer than usual because the weather didn't fit the set and there were some problems with some accessories. It was hard to focus on the good things. You knew what you entering to when you both started to date. You usually managed to go through it, but this time was very different.

You tried so hard to focus on the day he would come back. Seeing him enter the house with his luggage, his exhausted expression with a big smile as he finally sees you in front of him. How you would hug him, very tight because it would still feel like a dream. Smelling his perfume like it was the first time.

What you also loved when Pedro come back is that he always takes you to the most sweet date the next day. It's like a ritual, showing you the love he missed giving you while he was away. Last time he took you to the zoo, you had a nice picnic in a parc not far from it, at the end of the day you drove to the beach for a nice dinner at a restaurant before going back home. You couldn't wait to see what he would prepare for you this time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day Pedro came back finally arrived. It was long overdue. As soon as he texted that he was driving home, you were standing behind the window waiting for him. You didn't even wait for him to park that you ran outside. He barely had the time to get out of the car that you already in his arms. What you remembered and imagined were real, and it felt even better. He hold you tight and couldn't stop kissing your head. When you finally parted, it was only for a few seconds before you finally kissed each other. A feeling almost forgotten. Time stopped for a minute, nothing else mattered. You were reunited. You spent the rest of the day together, talking about everything, not remembering what you already knew or not. It didn't matter, you didn't see each other for months, you both had a lot to catch on.

The next day, as promised, Pedro took you out. This time he didn't tell where you were going. He didn't let out a thing, not even a hint.

"you know that stresses me out" you tried to convince him

"what?"

"not knowing where we're going" he rolled his eyes as he gently hit your thigh.

"if you must know, we're almost here" you were looking around you, it was the city, nothing weird. It was around 10am so it would definitely be some place to have some coffee or such.

"It doesn't help"

"Cariño" you looked at each other. You missed the pet names. You felt butterflies in your stomach. You were looking around, trying to recognise any place you could. Your eyes lit up when you saw the coffee shop where you had your first date with Pedro. You started to smile. "Why are you smiling?" Pedro asked as he caught a glimpse of you.

"I know where we're going"

"Is that so?"

"Yep. We drove in front of it." You were proud of yourself. Pedro didn't say anything and just turned on the left to a parking lot, and parked the car.

"So, where are we going? If you do know" Pedro asked as he got out of the car. You chuckled as you unbuckled your belt. He was quick to get to you and open the car door for you.

"You mean the coffee shop where we had our first date?" You stared at him with a big smile. Pedro sighed as he closed the door.

"Good reminder that I will have to blindfold you next time"

"Yeah" you playfully hit his arm. You started to walk there, arms intertwined.

Once you were in the place, you were having flashbacks of many memories. It's been a while since you came here. You were both seated to the same table where you had your first date. It made you think about the way you were so shy the first time you were sitting in front of him there.

You both had a wonderful time, catching up about things you both did while separated. You spent a couple of hours talking, reminiscing, not realising how fast the time was flying by. As you both got out of the coffee shop, you walked by to your car, not knowing that Pedro had lots of stuff planned for the rest of the day.

Lunch? A nice picnic in your favorite parc, where you go on a walk regularly together.

Afternoon? A cute trip to the zoo. You were surprised that Pedro took you there because he always hated to see so many people at the same time, but it was a quiet day and he secretly adored to see you fascinated and completely falling in love with all the animals there.

Dinner? A drive-thru and eating in the car parked in front of the nicest view of the city. Simple but always breathtaking. You stayed there the rest of the night, laughing, talking about everything, remaking the world, playing card games.

At some point you were starting to get tired, same for Pedro. The rhythm these past few days plus the jet lag was tough. So you finally head home, head full of new memories. Pedro always makes his return memorable. That's what helps when he is away, you know how special he makes you feel, the way he treats you like his queen.

#fanfic #imagine #pedro pascal #oneshot #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal preferences #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal one shot #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x female reader #pedro x reader #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal fluff

[aralezinspace]

Send Me to Sleep

Requested by anonymous: fluff with insomniac reader and the prompt "why are you still up?"

A/N: Here have some tooth rotting fluff, I am not responsible for your dental bills xD fun fact, the thing Dream does to help reader sleep is the same thing I do to get my tiny humans to go to sleep, made this slightly bittersweet to write b/c after next Friday I won't be working with tiny kids anymore i'll be working with college age kids ANYWAY hope you enjoy!! 💖💖

~~Requests are open!~~ ~~Current WIPs~~

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

It was almost as if the ticking of your antique alarm clock was mocking you, loudly reminding you of every passing second you spent awake when you should be dead to the world.

Your insomnia was nothing new, it had plagued you since college. It was conditional on your stress levels, which was somewhat ironic: the more stressed you were, the less you slept. The less you slept, the more stressed you became.

Since figuring out that pattern your senior year, you had done everything you could to keep your daily life stress free enough for you to sleep, and it had been working out for the most part, aside from busy times of the year when work, family, and friends all collided in a few hectic weeks. Times of the year like Christmas, the height of summer, and for some reason, the entire month of April.  

This week was not supposed to be one of them.

You stuffed your face into your pillow to muffle your frustrated scream. It was now going on 3:30am, and you had to be up and getting in the shower at 6. You sat up with a heavy sigh and ran your fingers through your hair. Sleep was obviously not coming tonight, so you decided to get some chores done around your apartment.

Under the hot spray of the shower two and a half hours later, you groaned as you felt the heaviness behind your eyes that indicated your body was ready for sleep. Of course it had to happen when you were getting ready for yet another busy day at work… which would probably stress you out to the point where you wouldn’t be able to sleep, or your body would just shut down out of sheer desperation.

“Ugh, Dream’s gonna kill me,” you grumbled into your towel. “Well it’s not like there’s anything I can do about it.”

If anyone else had been this invested in your sleep schedule, it would have been extremely weird. But the fact that it was your partner, the ruler of the Dreaming and Nightmare realms. Sleeping was kind of his thing, and once again the irony was not lost on you: a conditional insomniac, in love with the literal sandman.

~~

Your day was just one thing after another, mostly phone calls. More than the usual volume at work, then a call from your dad, then another one from your aunt for some reason, then one from your brother that you sent straight to voicemail just to have a break. Future you thanked past you for that, turns out he just wanted to once again complain about his boyfriend.

When you got home, your mind was fuzzy with exhaustion, and your body jittered and shook from the after effects of the four cups of coffee required just to get through it all. You felt like crap, and probably looked like crap too.

You shambled through changing into your pajamas and making dinner, barely tasting the food as you chewed. You barely registered what episode you were on, thankfully it was a show you had seen before. Your “bedtime” wasn’t for another two hours; you were ready to drop, but fucking up your sleep schedule even more was a recipe for disaster.

You dragged your hands down your face and groused, “Ugh fuck me.”

“With pleasure.”

The rumbling chortle came from the shadows by your front door, making you spring to your feet. The rush of adrenaline rendered you wide awake, at least long enough to process who was currently standing in your apartment.

A smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth as Dream of the Endless strode into the light of your living room, hands in the pockets of his signature coat. It slowly dropped from his face as he took in more of your appearance: the blue, almost black bags under your eyes, the pallor of your skin, the slump of your body as if the immense burden of his responsibilities rested on your shoulders.

“My love,” he pressed, almost like a parent trying to get the truth of some mischief out of a child, “It has been some days since I have felt you in the Dreaming for longer than a few moments. Have you not been sleeping again?”

The way your entire body sagged in defeat was all the answer he needed.

He stepped closer to you, gently resting his hands on your shoulders. “Darling, when was the last time you had a good night’s rest?” You shrugged, your brain struggling to come up with an answer that you were allowed to give. Once again, your body language gave him the answer.

“Then why are you still up?” He didn’t sound angry, only deeply concerned. “Why did you not call for me?”

You swallowed hard before mumbling, “I didn’t want to bother you.” A heavy sigh pushed itself out of Dream’s chest and his hands moved to hold your face in his hands, taking the weight of your head off your shoulders. “Beloved, you are never a bother to me. “I would not be a worthy monarch of the Dreaming if I could not even ease my own partner to rest.”

You couldn’t help your chuckle; it was the closest you had ever heard Morpheus come to humility. Your smile brought a tiny mirror of the gesture to Dream’s face as he rubbed his thumb over your cheekbone, trying not to focus on the deep shadows beneath your eyes. He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, letting his lips lingered as he inhaled deeply through his nose, taking in your essence. It stuck in his nose, tainted by your exhaustion. He breathed his words into your skin, “Let’s get you into bed.”

Swift like quicksilver, he scooped you into his arms, drawing a startled squeak out of you, closely followed by a bashful giggle. Dream carried you to your bedroom, staring lovingly at you the entire time. Your bed was still unmade from this morning, and he gently deposited you in it before pulling the blankets over you.

You snuggled into the covers, drawing them up to your chin. You smiled at Dream as he sat next to you on top of the covers. Cool fingers brushed your hair out of your face. You murmured, “Gonna use your sand to send me off?”

Dream chuckled, soft and low and slightly smug. “No, I will not need it to get you to sleep. I need only do this.” His forefinger settled between your eyebrows (some would say over your third eye) and gently rubbed the skin there. You hummed softly, wiggling deeper into the comfort of your bed. Dream’s eyes practically glowed in the darkness of your room, distant, even though he was sitting right beside you.

You were more than bone tired, and sank easily into his soothing touch. Your eyes flickered and fluttered for a moment before finally falling shut. Dream’s touch on your forehead was the only thing that existed in the blackness behind your eyelids, safe and comforting. You could practically feel the stress leaking out of you and into the mattress.

In your last moment of lucidity before you drifted off, you heard Dream murmur, “Sleep well, beloved. I will see you soon.”

#The Sandman #The Sandman fanfic #morpheus x reader #dream of the endless x reader #Morpheus fanfic

[morfiveuscxo]

HEART, chuuya nakahara

chuuya nakahara x fem!!reader summary: chuuya arrives home a lot later than usual only to find his panicky girlfriend in tears. tw!! angst, swearing, suggestive themes, death mentions (sorta) notes: this sucks and if Chuuya seems ooc I apologise- my brain is all over the place atm lol

Chuuya's muscles ached with exhaustion as he stood in the elevator that would take him up to his comfortable apartment. His coat was folded over his left arm and his signature fedora tipped over his head casting a shade across his tired face.

The elevator pinged and he sighed in relief as the metal doors slid open. Stuffing his hands into the pockets of his trousers, he stepped out and headed down the long hall until his front door was finally in view.

Now as a port mafia executive, Chuuya was on edge and prepared for nearly everything. Possible sneak attacks, gunfire, ambushes, explosions- you name it. But what surprised him when he walked through his front door? something small and fluffy smacking him on the chest.

His eyebrows furrow almost comedically and he turns his head to glance down at what on earth he had been hit with only to see his girlfriend's stuffed lamb plushie staring back at him with its (in Chuuya's opinion) large creepily stitched eyes.

Blinking in surprise, he lifts his head back upwards to see the culprit of the attack- his girlfriend, y/n. Usually when he got home y/n would be waiting for him on the couch or in their bedroom and she would get extremely excited when she would see him.

Due to his busy schedule, the pair rarely got to see each other so despite his constant scolding y/n would stay up late just so she could see him after work and she would wake up at the same time as him every morning to see him off before she headed to her own work.

Routinely, she would usually come bouncing over to him excitedly and pull him in for a long kiss or a tight hug (which usually led to Chuuya informing her that he couldn't breathe).

But tonight was different and he had known the second he walked through the door that it was- looking at her face only confirmed his suspicions.

A usually bright and excitable y/n who would typically wear a bubbly smile at the mere sight of Chuuya instead wore a distressed expression as tears flowed down her pale cheeks.

Chuuya is exhausted but the exhaustion seems to fade as he is instead overcome with worry for his lover. --"y/n? what's wrong?"He asks, his eyebrows furrowing in concern as he shuts the door behind him and walks towards her, throwing his coat to the side carelessly- glancing from side to side to see if he could detect any signs of threat in their small apartment that would cause her to cry.

However, the second he got close to her he was met with her smacking his chest with her hand, her face scrunched up as tears flowed down her cheeks. He blinked in surprise and stood straight for a second as she smacked his chest again- this didn't hurt him of course not only because she wasn't exactly the strongest person he knew but because he wasn't even really focussing on the hits- more observing her expressions.

"Woah, woah, woah-"He grabs her wrists as she starts to smack his chest repeatedly- her bottom lip trembling as her chest starts to heave in what appeared to be a mixture of fear and panic. "What's wrong, doll?"He asks her- his voice as soft as possible to try and calm her down.

"I-I thought something ha-"Her voice wavered as she breathed heavily. "Breathe."He whispered to her softly, his gloved hands sliding from her wrists and up her arms causing her to shiver at the material. "W-What took you so long?"She finally manages out shakily- tears dripping from her chin.

A confused look appears on Chuuya's face for a second. --"I-I thought something h-happened to you-"She rushes out in a panicky voice causing his eyes to widen in surprise.

Chuuya and y/n have been dating for around 7 months and since the executive could see that things were becoming serious with her- he decided to tell her about his job. He told her this last week and she had seemed a bit sceptical at first but ultimately told him it didn't bother her much and that she still loved him.

However, she may have sort of lied on half of that response. She still loves him of course- she doesn't think she'll ever love someone as much as she does Chuuya. But ever since he informed her of his position with the Mafia and what his job entails- she had been plagued with nightmares.

The fear of losing him had been bottling up in her for over a week and him returning home tonight much later than usual caused it to spill all over.

"y/n-"He says her name softly- removing his hands from her arms as he slid his leather gloves off. "I-I didn't know i-if anything happened to you o-or if you were in danger," She hiccups through salty tears and a wobbly bottom lip.

His face softens at the tone of her voice and he frowns sympathetically. y/n doesn't have anyone in her life besides Chuuya. She lost both of her parents when she was 16 and doesn't have any living relatives. Chuuya's all that she really has and the idea of possibly losing him terrified her.

"M'sorry, baby- the boss gave me a shit tonna' paperwork to do." he sighs softly, his naked hands lifting to cradle her face gently- using his thumbs to catch some of her stray tears.

That's understandable enough, she thought to herself as her breathing continued to slightly speed. "W-Why didn't you call?"She rasps to him, nuzzling her face into his hands as her glossy eyes searched his expression.

He clicks his tongue and sighs, pulling one hand from her face to fish his phone out of his pocket- he waves the device in the air. "stupid thing died."He hums, clicking the button on the side to show the drained battery.

A pout forms on her lips without her noticing as she sniffles and glances at the floor and her cheeks begin to flare in embarrassment at her obvious continuing overreaction. --"I-"Her voice wavered again and she swallowed.

A soft chuckle leaves Chuuya's lips as his hand comes back to her cheeks so he was cradling her entire face in his grasp. --"I'm okay, dollface."He tells her. --"I am the strongest fuckin' thing the Mafia has you don't have to worry about me."He whispers, activating his ability briefly so his hat can lift from his head and whiz over to drop onto the hat rack he kept by the door. He lets his forehead touch hers as her breathing shakes about almost unpredictably.

Y/n is a worrier and Chuuya had known that when he pursued her. She suffered frequent panic attacks and could be rather clingy when it came to ultimately parting with him. So he wasn't surprised that even though she could see him with her own two eyes she was still panicking over his safe return.

Her head was all over the place and she had spent a better half of the night panicking that he may have gotten killed on a mission. She hadn't fully stepped out of the worrisome frame of mind and so even though she could feel the touch of his hand- her heart continued to race with worry.

Licking his lips, Chuuya slid one of his hands from her cheek to grab ahold of her hand- lifting her palm to press against his chest just over his heart. Her breath hitches as she feels the steady beat of his heart against her palm. Keeping his forehead pressed to hers- he held her hand in place against his chest.

"It's cute you worry so much."He mumbled to her, causing her to snap her gaze from her hand over his heart to his eyes. Her cheeks warm and she doesn't move her hand away from his chest- wanting the most confirmation of his living breathing self she could get.

"But you really don't have to."He adds on after a short second. --"The last thing you have to do is worry about me while I'm on a job, okay?"He tells her in a serious voice with a nod.

A slow sigh leaves her lips and she nods her head with his movements, her hand moving from his chest and up to his neck. "Promise you'll always come back to me?"She whispers shakily, blinking her wet eyelashes at him.

A normal person would know not to promise something like that. You don't want to wrap the person you love in a false sense of security. But Chuuya isn't any normal person. He's confident in his abilities and knows damn well that there's not a single soul in Japan that could take on his ability or his strength.

"I promise."He whispered confidently, no shred of doubt in his voice or expression. She notably relaxes at his confidence and nods her head, both of her arms now hooked around his neck. --"Okay?"He whispers encouragingly.

A small smile appears on her face for the first time that night and he grins as she nods. "no more tears, okay, pretty girl?"He says softly, brushing his thumbs up and down her cheekbones- wiping away some of the tear stains on her cheeks.

The corners of her lips twitch at the affection and she nods again. "okay."She murmurs with a sniffle, caressing the sides of his neck with her hands as they go silent for a few short seconds.

"Start taking a phone charger with you to work."She finally mumbles after a comfortable silence causing him to let out a loud belly laugh as he nuzzled his nose against hers with a toothy grin.

"Deal." he chuckles just before pressing his mouth to hers- grinning against her lips. The kiss took her breath away and he immediately pulled her as close to his body as he could; wrapping an arm around her back and around her waist.

The kiss was soft and yearning; a complete contrast to their typically immediate hot and heavy ones. Chuuya felt the need to lure her into a sense of security so he kept his movements slow and steady- treating her like a precious flower petal that could wilt with the wrong move.

Her cheeks flush and he pulls her close to his chest- practically devouring her whole as his fingers slowly slide into her hair. Her spine arches to press herself against his body more- her arms tightening around his neck as his arm could tightly around her waist.

"Sorry, I was late, doll."He murmured against her lips again- sensing that she was still slightly annoyed for worrying her. Her brain goes fuzzy and her stomach flips as one of his hands slides from her hair and down to her hip.

She curls her fingers into his soft copper hair posessively and tugs gently causing him to grunt slightly against her lips and pull her completely flush against his body. "how about-"he pauses to move his lips from hers and press them to the base of her neck. --"You let me make it up to you."He rasps causing her stomach to twist as her breath hitches.

Her lips parted as his lips travelled up the side of her neck, his teeth grazing her skin as both of his hands slid down to grip both of her hips. Melting into his touch, she lets her eyes flutter shut as she grips his hair tightly.

"Gladly."

#fanfiction #imagines #lfl #soukoku #chuuya nakahara #chuuya nakahara imagines #bungo stray dogs #bsd chuuya #bsd #fypage #fanfic #nakahara chuuya imagines #nakahara chuuya #skk #romance #port mafia #chuya nakahara #bsd chuya #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #bsd dazai

[sumu-samu]

(Broken) Habits

Final part, glad to get this off my drive lol.

Master list | part 1 | part 2| part 3

Two months later

Since that night Cutie and Geordi either texted or called every night. Eventually Geordi moved back in with them, and for the first time in a while, it wasn’t silent. They still never asked to enter his mind, but not because they were over stepping that boubndry, but because they still didn’t trust themselves. If they did it once what was stoping them from doing it again. They couldn’t hurt Geordi like that, not again.

“Hey,” Geordi’s voice was soft, “Penny for your thoughts?” He gave them a half smile as he set their breakfast down in front of them.

They just shook their head, “No- nothing. It’s nothing.” They picked up their fork and started eating.

“Hey, Cutie…” Geordi also picked up his fork but didn’t start eating yet.

“Hm?” They hummed with mouth full of eggs.

“I- I’m not saying it’s something you have to do… not if you don’t want to… but I’ve just noticed that… you haven’t asked to you know-” He couldn’t even get the full thing out before Cutie almost choked before swallowing their eggs.

“I haven’t. I haven’t read your mind. I haven’t gone in there. I- I’m better I swear. I wouldn’t do that to you.” Panic filled their voice.

“No, no,no that-. I didn’t think that you did. You say you’re better and I believe you, it’s just… you haven’t even asked to… and… i guess its just… I kinda miss it.” He shrugged. “Do you think you want-”

“No.” They replied sharply without looking at him.

“That-... that was fast… is… is everything okay?” He was taken aback from how quickly they shut him down.

“Im fine.” a short respond with the same sharp tone.

“Cutie, I don’t mean to pry, and seriously if its something you really don’t want to talk about I’ll back off. But, I know you my love. I can see something is wrong. I’m still Geordi, you’re still my Cutie. The only thing thats changed is you’re getting help. You can still talk to me. Trust me. Like I trust you.: His eyes were full of concern, with love, with adoration.

“I-.. I do trust you Geordi…” The tossed their eggs around their plate with their fork.

“But-... There’s a but in there isn’t there?” Geordi layed his hand ontop of theirs.

“I don’t… I don’t trust… I don’t trust myself.” They looked up at him with sad eyes. “I’m scared Geordi. I’m scared if I’m allowed in once, I’m going to fall right back into that shitty person I was. The one who didn’t respect your boundaries, the one you felt necessary to compare to so shitty ex. I’m scared I’m going to hurt you again.” Their eyes began to water, they tried to bat away any stray tears, but Geordi took both of their hands in his.

“Look at me. Cutie, look. Recovery is a slow and strenuous process, I know it may feel exhausting, sometimes you’ll fall backwards and it may feel like you aren’t making any progress at all. But hear me when I say this, as an outside perspective, not as you, not as your lover, not as your boyfriend, as just Geordi, you have come so far. And it touches me to hear you say that the reason you haven’t is because you don’t want to hurt me, thats sweet, it is. But Cutie, you can’t trade one extreme for another. I like it when you talk to me in my head, its fun, it feels intimate, all I ask is that you ask before you do, and if I ask for some time, then give me a little time.” Cutie was nodding their head the whole time he spoke. “Now, do you think you would maybe want to…”

“I-.. N-... uh…” Cutie struggled they did, they really did, but like… one talk isn’t going to make those thoughts go away.

“It’s okay to say no. But just know that right now, in this moment, I want you in. I want you to listen.” He looked deep into their eyes. Cutie felt themselves nod their head. “Okay. well, youre more than welcome.”

Cutie entered his mind. Cute, so cute. They care, they’ve changed. Change, good, good change. Beautiful eyes. Can they hear? Can you hear? Are you listening? Cutie nodded their head. Good. good. Smile, cute smile, I love that smile, I love you. Never leaving. I won’t leave. I love you. Cutie chuckled “Geordi”

My name. Sounds sweet. I like when you say my name. “Yes?” whats up baby? What do you need? What can I do. Smile, keep that smile. Love that smile.

“Go eat your breakfast you dork.” They laughed

Laughing, cute laugh. Sounds like music. Like angels, I love that laugh, I love that smile I love you. “Right.” He got up and went back to his seat to eat. I’m so lucky, I love you. Look at me, let me see your eyes. Beautiful eyes, gorgeous eyes, I could get lost in those eyes. Hey don’t roll them at me. You know what? Just for that…

No, don’t you dare they tried to stop him but it was too late

Iiiits a smaaall world aaaftr aaalllll. It’sss a smaaalll world afterrr all-

I will disconnect if you don’t stop

With that the door bell rang.

I’ll get it! Geordi ran to the door before Cutie could even get up. They heard the door open Who? Familiar. They look familiar. Name… damn it why am I so bad with names “uhm… hello.”

“Hey! Cutie here?” A familiar voice rang out.

They got up from the table and went to the door, wrapping their arms around Geordi, “Hey Stealth, Hi Milo.” They waved to the slightly smaller male behind their friend. He was taller than Cutie, almost Geordi’s height but Stealth was a giant so they made everyone look small. He didn’t respond to the greeting.

“Milo, be nice. S’ry He’s a lill grumpy cause I made Him come. If we had it his way, we’d been layin’ in bed all morn’.” They waved their boyfriend’s pouty mood off.

Tall, scary, why does that man look so mad, should I let them in? I should let them in. Don’t be rude Geordi of course you should. “W-well, come in no need to uh, no need to stand out in the open. Un-unless you want to.” Geordi said nervously. He had met Stealth before, not Milo though, yet he was still intimidated by Stealths height. Shit, we didn’t clean. We haven’t even finished breakfast. Did you invite them? Why are they here? We didn’t have any time.

“Sorry about the mess, um. We weren’t really expecting you. Glad to see you though.” Cutie smiled at their friend.

You didn’t invite them? What kind of person invites themselves over?

My best friend kind. Geordi be nice.

Sorry.

“Oh it’s not a big deal to us. If you’d like we could leave and come back when ya’llfeel like you’ve cleaned up the place. Although, it looks super clean already. Well compared to how you had it when-” Stealth began to share too much information.

Cutie cleared their throat throwing them a ‘shut the hell up’ look. “No you don’t have to leave. It’s fine. Why’d you come over anyways.” They asked.

Compared to what? Why’d you stop them? What are you hiding you menace? Was it when I was at my sisters?

Shut up Geordi

“Oh honestly we-” Milo cleared His throat, “I- wanted to see ya’ll. Sorry bout Milo, he’s not usually this grumpy. He’s normally a super sweet guy.” They gave him a side glare.

“Not anything against you, you are a great person Cutie.I was just told we were going to the store and going back home. Sorry if it seems I don’t want to be around you.” He apologized.

“It’s okay Milo. Well while youre here you guys want a drink or anything? Wanna play mario cart or something?” At Cuties offer Milo’s eyes lit up.

“Oh hell yeah. I’d love to.”

They all sat on the couch and played marrio cart

#redacted headcanons #redactedasmr #redacted asmr #redacted geordi #redacted cutie #Geordi #cutie #redacted angst

[underratedandoverit]

caring but blind

~1,9k orangekip (orange cassidy/kip sabian)

hurt/comfort. i barely proofread this but who cares we write, post and die like men on this blog dont judge me. just a little something for @midnightpretenders0, i know you said it doesnt need to be a fic request but ofc im gonna take it as one, anything for you 💜 i hope you like it 💜💜

@stormbornpirate

on ao3

--------------------------

The laugh rang in his ears. Usually it was a sound he enjoyed more than anything, but tonight it felt somehow different. It felt distant, almost distorted in his mind, something he couldn’t return back to him.

Cassidy couldn’t bear to look at Kip. His eyes remained glued on the television screen, watching the clip video Kip had put on without having much of a reaction to it. A few tucks of a smile in the corner of his lips, a few barely worthy acknowledging snorts here and there, but that was about it. Compared to Kip’s clear joy the Brit was experiencing watching the videos, Cassidy was barely existing on the couch at the moment.

His stoic nature wasn’t anything unusual. But this felt like it went beyond that for once.

In comparison to the change in Kip the past few months, Cassidy felt like he had been spun in the exact opposite direction. He wasn’t going to admit that out loud, he could never do such a thing to Kip after everything, after helping pull him out of the darkness back to even a somewhat normal life, but… It was a big part of it, and there was no denying of it, that while trying to do something good for his lover, as destiny had decided for things to be, Cassidy had managed to push himself closer to the edge than he thought.

And it was slowly taking a toll on him. He was exhausted, everything felt heavy, sleep was nonexistent as he put Kip and his well-being ahead of his own. Cassidy had done that since the beginning, and while he knew Kip had seen a glimpse of it before and regretted putting the blond through all of that, Cassidy was still way too good at hiding his true feelings, no matter how many times he said it was okay.

It was all slowly coming back to haunt him though. He could feel it bubbling in his chest, stronger day after day, making him ache more and more every morning he woke up finding Kip curled up against him, being the only one getting enough rest finally.

And the moment he knew he couldn’t match the laughter escaping from Kip and the sweet smile on his face was the one Cassidy knew it was only a matter of time before he reached the breaking point.

“Hey.”

He tensed up, not looking away from the television screen even if he could feel Kip’s eyes looking directly at him, staring at the side of his face. “Is something wrong?”

Cassidy hated how easy he was to read. Then again, in the current state he was in, he was extremely easy to read, even if Kip had lost most of that ability while he had been withering away in his own darkness. He could feel a hand landing on his thigh, the touch almost burning him even through the layer of denim.

Before Kip could call him the affectionate teasing nickname they had both grown so accustomed to, Cassidy brushed his hand away, standing up. He couldn’t deal with this now, he knew hearing Kip call him sweet things, expressing worry for him was going to push him over the edge finally. He didn’t want Kip to have to deal with him like this, he deserved better than that.

Cassidy couldn’t walk away though as Kip grabbed a hold of the hem of his shirt, gently tucking it to stop him. The blond didn’t look down at him, eyes only staring at the television behind his sunglasses, trying his best to not meet the almost pleading look the knew Kip was giving him.

“Hey. Talk to me.”

They knew each other so well at this point. Cassidy could see so much of his own struggles in Kip that it didn’t come as a surprise to him that he could do the same, even if Cassidy thought himself to be better at hiding his secrets than Kip was. That obviously wasn’t true anymore after the months they had been through all this hell together, one after another, the effects of the cursed belt bringing them both down to the depths of hell where they had to rebuild themselves up with the help of others.

And yet Cassidy still felt like he was supposed to be better at this than he actually was. He didn’t want to hurt Kip, he didn’t want to put either of them in that vulnerable position where they could see each other hurting while trying to help one another. It hurt him to think about, it wasn’t a thing he could do to Kip.

As the silence continued to linger in the living room, Cassidy could feel Kip letting go of his shirt. At that moment he could have just as easily ran away from all of this, dealt with his weaknesses in silence, and just returned back later like nothing had ever happened. That’s how the cycle had been going on so far, Cassidy taking those few lone moments he had to allow the dread and the tears to take him over, only to return back to being the emotionless, distant figure he had been for so long now when Kip was around.

Except now Kip was clearly aware that wasn’t him either. He might have not seen the tears, or so Cassidy at least hoped, but Kip definitely had realized by now that something was wrong here.

Kip’s fingertips carefully traced down along Cassidy’s arm, the touch barely registering with him. He was so far deep in his own head, his own mind to realize anything outside of him at the moment, only tensing up a little as he could feel Kip reach his hand. The very same hand that had been injured, multiple times, during the time he had to defend that title.

The pain felt distant, but it was still clearly there. It had never fully healed from being put through the hell those title defenses had been, but it was such a small thing Cassidy barely paid attention to it anymore on most days. Right now the feeling was there, although still barely noticeable. It felt more like tingling, static in his fingers, sending some sort of signals up his arm and into his brain, trying to ground him, to remind him what being alive felt like.

He couldn’t stand it.

Kip handled him so delicately Cassidy barely noticed it, until the soft, warm little kiss was pressed on the back of his hand. He finally looked at Kip, the man clearly aware of the hell the hand he was holding had gone through, along with the man himself.

The fact that Kip already knew so much there was no point in hiding any of it anymore was the true breaking point, letting the first of the tears roll free from underneath the sunglasses.

Kip glanced up at him just in time to witness it, a soft smile crossing his lips as he reached for Cassidy with his other hand, gently wrapping an arm around his waist as he pulled the blond into his lap. He barely removed the sunglasses, thrown across the floor in almost a small fit, before burying his face into Kip’s shoulder, allowing the first sob of what felt like years to escape him.

“It’s okay. Let it out.”

Kip’s hand gently rubbed his back, the other one running through his hair in efforts of trying to sooth Cassidy. He wasn’t going to ask any questions, he didn’t need to. No matter how much Cassidy was trying to hide it all, eventually it had just dawned on Kip that something was wrong. He wasn’t intentionally trying to push Cassidy’s buttons to make him talk, in fact he was trying to do the exact opposite especially with today. Just sitting him down after seeing him suffer through yet another exhausting week, hoping to just help him unwind a little bit so Cassidy could forget his pain for at least a fragment of a moment.

He didn’t intend it to break down like this. Cassidy wasn’t the kind of a person to talk about his own feelings a lot, he had only pretty much shared his recovery thoughts and moments with Kip only when something similar had happened to him and Cassidy used it as an example to explain how things had gone through after that. But at the same time, it kind of made Kip aware how much he was still feeling all of those things, how much it hurt him, even if he tried to hide it behind the emotionless characteristics of his at almost all times.

Cassidy didn’t have to say anything to him, Kip wasn’t going to make him talk if he didn’t want to. This was enough for him, the tight grip of the back of his shirt and the trembling man soaking his shoulder with his tears was already telling him enough. Kip knew he was tired, exhausted, just the fact that he had been wearing the sunglasses at home way more often to hide the dark circles around his eyes was a big enough giveaway. Kip didn’t say anything, he didn’t dare, not wanting to put the pressure on him.

Maybe he should have done that though, seeing where it had led them now. But Kip wasn’t going to kick himself for it, he wasn’t going to blame Cassidy for it – he knew Cassidy had a difficult history with opening up about his problems and his feelings, even more so when faced up with the kind of a situation they were in, where he had to care more for someone else than his own well-being.

Kip wished it wasn’t like that, that they could mutually do this, to help one another on the same level Cassidy was doing for him, but he knew that they both knew they still had a long road to that.

The sobs quieted down, but Cassidy didn’t pull away. The feeling of Kip’s hands on him, his back and his hair, the head leaned carefully against the side of his, and just the warmth and comfort radiating from the other man as Cassidy sat this close to him was finally bringing him some sense of security he hadn’t felt in a long time. Them being this close wasn’t anything unusual for the two, but Cassidy had been so on edge for so long now, he had put up mental walls every time something like this happened, making him unable to fully enjoy the closeness expressed by Kip. He still responded to the kisses, hand holding, the sweet words, but it just hadn’t felt the same for a while. It just hadn’t been as genuine as Cassidy would have hoped he could make it be.

For the first time in a while, this actually felt like something he actively enjoyed. Something he had been missing.

Kip leaned away a little, turning his head to press a soft kiss on his cheek. Cassidy didn’t look up, keeping his eyes buried into his shoulder, but a little smile tucked the corners of his lips as Kip leaned his head back against his.

“Take all the time you need. I’ll be here with you forever.”

#request #fic #character: kip sabian #character: orange cassidy #ship: orangekip #setting: belt corruption arc #aew fanfiction #wrestling fanfiction

[omegalomania]

ok i am but new to the fandom and learning a bit of fob history but one thing that bamboozles me is: how was folie hated??? didn’t do well??? that boggles me because from what i seen on tumblr people seem to really love this album? did people really genuinely not like it when it first came out?

folie came out at a weird time.

2007 saw the peak of the "emo" movement (which you can argue about whether or not fob was truly emo or whatever, i literally do not care - the point is that it was the genre/movement/scene they were most heavily associated with at the time) and infinity on high (which came out that year) was basically the crown jewel of it. it was experimental, it was bold, it was a radio hit, and it was smart. it knew where fob sat in the cultural zeitgeist and both deified and rejected that. "this ain't a scene" was fob's highest charting single to date; if cork tree took them into the public eye, infinity is what cemented them there.

and it made following up with a similar hit incredibly difficult. ioh was an impossible act to follow, and the sonic landscape was changing fast. where emo basically skyrocketed into popularity after the election of bush and 9/11, the election of obama saw a similar massive shift in the cultural landscape.

folie came out in 2008, only a year after infinity on high. the band's tensions were extremely high with one another due to exhaustion from constant touring, intentionally rushing production on folie (it took about a month and a half, compared to the 6-7 months it took infinity), and just generally not having had a break in a good 8 years. it was a very savvy record, with a hugely politically-charged marketing campaign to befit the historical US election. it was also a huge sonic and lyrical departure from earlier material; the songs were less intensely, immediately personal, and more concerned with societal unrest, again because of the changing sociopolitical landscape these songs were crafted in. also take into account that the record was being consistently hamstrung by weird radioplay decisions for the singles ("i don't care" was pulled from radio early despite performing pretty well, possibly due to error), as well as an ever-changing release date (initially HEAVILY promoted to be on 11/4/2008, the same day as election day, before they changed it because they wanted people to vote instead of focusing on buying a new record. they pushed it back to 12/16/2008 before it was leaked early and then "officially" released 12/10/2008).

folie a deux came out in 2008. it was a wildly experimental album both from fall out boy standards and in the context of what was coming out at the time. folie was a slick combination of RnB, stadium glam-rock, soul, blues-rock, and a multitude of other genres, with guest features that included elvis costello, lil wayne, debbie harry, and the entire fueled by ramen gang.

for context: the hit number one song on billboard in 2008 was flo rida's "low." the number one hit song on billboard in 2009 was the black eyed peas' "boom boom pow."

it was a weird record in comparison to what was around it. it was a record focused on the ongoing changes in the social and political landscape of the US when just about everything in the top 40 was almost aggressively apolitical. inevitably it would be compared to its predecessor, infinity on high, and inevitably it wasn't going to perform as well as it, and so it was considered a bit of a failure commercially. critically, it got decent reviews, but it was so at odds with everything else that it just kind of...didn't land at first.

the first track on the album says "nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy" (with the great irony being, of course, that this is exactly what everyone wants to hear when they attend a fall out boy show). fall out boy changes their sound and their style on every album, and on every album, people bitch and moan and complain. touring during folie era was, by all accounts, really difficult for the band, and it's what brought on the hiatus. the degree to which this was not great for them has varied, but by the time the hiatus rolled around early october of 2009, it was sorely needed.

and the fans were kind of divided on it at the time. one of my friends is a long-time fall out boy fan from their prehiatus days and she's admitted that she probably returns to folie a deux the least with the exception of "disloyal order of water buffaloes" and "what a catch, donnie." nowadays a lot of fans look back at folie as one of, if not the, best fall out boy albums, but reception was a lot more mixed at the time because of...well. it's like i said.

folie came out at a weird time.

#askin hours #anon #its wild to look at folie in the context of everything else #it was brilliant but also the number 1 hit of 2008 was flo rida's low like.... #also this is why mania was such a brilliant move for them #i think they saw (correctly) the success pattern of srar-->abap and how it mirrored cork tree --> ioh #and they knew that trying to do something bigger wouldnt work cause it didnt work with folie #so they decided to just do whatever! good for them

[glamorouspixels]

We've reached the point where I need to ramble about uni again (apologies to everyone seeing this on their dash). I'm working on my BA thesis and getting ready to take the second of two final oral exams that make up the final assessment of my degree. I did the first in early July and it was the worst I've felt since my burnout year. It feels genuinely impossible to survive the second without losing more of myself in the process. I've sacrificed so much for this stupid degree. My life consists of nothing but studying and writing. My attention span has suffered so much that I can no longer read more than a couple of sentences with my eyes and rely on text-to-speech readers for almost everything. Reading fic is so hard even though I desperately want to do it, and I have several-hours-long gaps in my days every single day where I just sort of float through time because I'm too exhausted to make myself focus for another second.

And I just… I can't see myself surviving my Master's degree. It's only ("only") twenty courses compared to the sixty that made up my BA, but ten of them require you to write massive papers, and your final assessment once again consists of two (far bigger) oral exams and a fucking 85-page thesis. The only thing I know for certain is that I need to get out. I can't afford to do both my MA and my PhD abroad, and since the only place I can see myself surviving a full-time job is academia I need to do my MA here before I can leave. You're supposed to do all of the above in two years and it's taken me nine semesters to finish my BA instead of six. I don't want to be stuck here for another three to four years while I suffer through another degree that is so unnecessarily hard compared to degrees at the same level in other countries. I am so fucking tired of this bullshit.

Also, something else I can't really talk about has been happening on the side and making it even harder to push myself through the other stuff the way I normally would. The second anything bad happens, my mind goes to this one specific thing and place I want to go to for comfort, but I can't. It's made things so much harder these past few months. And I keep asking myself if the correct course of action would be to take said thing out of my life entirely because there is so much potential for future pain there and it's almost inevitable that something painful will happen at some point. But I don't want to give up something so incredible that makes me so happy either. Anyway I've been trying to cope by writing fics about it. I hope you guys like extremely comfort-focused hurt/comfort because that's what you'll be getting for the next couple of months 😅

[pensat-i-fet]

A Manchester Affair (Rúben Dias): Chapter 7

Chapter 6

Chapter 8

Masterlist

Wattpad

September turned out to be a stupidly busy month. Matches every 3 or 4 days meant everyone was exhausted. 

Lucía still managed to hang out with Rúben more than she expected at first, but she guessed those were the perks of literally living in the same place.

There weren’t other dates outside of their apartments, because of how busy the schedule was. But he definitely went out of his way to try and make every one of their meetings feel like one. 

The more time they spent together, the more comfortable she felt in his company. The walls she had built around her were falling slowly, which was exciting. Maybe she could finally really be there for him. But he wanted more and he wanted it now.

Their conversations started to be longer. He would talk about his family, his childhood, his time in Manchester, …everything. There was no part of his life she didn’t know something about. Lucía, on the other hand, still couldn’t open up completely to him. Anyone could see she was just sharing the surface details. Winning a gymnastics competition aged 7, moving to Germany when she was 18 or that one anecdote she always told about her first night out in Amsterdam. It wasn’t the same, at all.

But she could see the progress. The problem was that Rúben wouldn’t be able to see it. And his frustration was obvious. So to the already big fear of potentially falling for him, and maybe being hurt again, she had to add the fear of him getting tired of her and moving to someone else who was emotionally available now. Who knew how long she was going to make him wait? 

And then came the Manchester derby. The preparation for it was unlike anything Lucía had seen since arriving at United. The distance between the teams had been huge in the last couple of years, and the results from last year still stung. So the players and the staff were taking this match extremely seriously. It almost felt like a final. But there would be no trophy afterwards. Though bragging rights sometimes felt like one.

“Check her for microphones!”, said Rapha when she entered the canteen.

“Pardon?”

“Don’t you live with the entire City squad? We need to check that they aren’t using you as a mole”.

Everyone laughed at that, including her.

“They can try but they won’t be getting anything from me. I’m loyal”.

And she was honest. Lucía and Rúben had even decided not to mention the match to each other.

Something else she occupied her time on was meeting Claudia. They had visited each other's houses, gone shopping and watched movies, just to name a few things they did together. It was great to have a female friend in Manchester to talk to. She loved all her other friends but there were certain things only a girlfriend could understand. Boy talk was one of them.

Claudia had tried to get her to talk about any potential guys she might like. But Lucía kept telling her there was no one. It was much easier than trying to explain something she herself didn’t understand. 

“Well”, said Claudia while they were having a coffee break in the middle of their shopping spree. “You could meet some of mine and Diogo’s friends and maybe you’ll find someone you like”.

“Yeah, maybe”, she said, not wanting to say that she had technically already found one of his friends and that she liked him, very much.

**

When Sunday arrived, she sat next to Scott on the bus on their way to the Etihad. But when they arrived there, he got out first and she waited for a couple of seconds. She had learnt from her time at Ajax that being seen too many times in a row with a player just meant rumours being created. And she could do without those.

Today felt like a big day. But what she didn’t know yet was that it wouldn’t just be a big day because of football.

On her way to the pitch, she saw Pep and ran to say hello to him.

“Hey!”

“Oh, hi! I was hoping I could see you before the match and wish you luck”, he said, after a quick hug.

“Same. Good luck, rival!”

“We’ll go back to being friends in two hours, right?”, he asked, laughing.

“We’ll see”.

“You and your fraternizing with the enemy…”, said Scott, shaking his head. 

“Blah blah blah”.

“You’re such a brat”, he said to her, putting his arms around her shoulders and leaning down to repeat the word brat in her ear. To anyone looking from far away, it might have looked more like a kiss.

She couldn’t control the laughter and when she finally got free of his grasp, she ran to the pitch so he wouldn’t be able to catch her again. 

Had she turned around just for a second, she’d have seen Rúben looking at them both. And not liking what he was seeing. 

**

Saying that the match was bad would be an understatement. Not only did United concede more than once in the first half, again, but Varane got injured too, which was too much for Lucía if she was honest. Given what her job was, she ended up caring more about an injury-free match than about clean sheets.

But it wasn’t until the second half that she was really worried about what could happen. Scott managed to score one for the team. Not that it was going to matter much, since they were already 4-0 down but he nonetheless did a little gesture towards her when he walked past the bench. Not the right mood for a big celebration, but the fact that he remembered dedicating the goal to her made her smile.

Rúben had not started the game, which had surprised Lucía. He didn't mention it to her but she guessed that was part of their not talking about the match deal. And during the second half, he was warming up a couple of times, just in case. It was then that Scott ran for the ball and got out of the pitch and bumped into Rúben. Scott made a quick gesture with his hand as if to say sorry, but it was for nothing. Lucía couldn't believe it when she saw Rúben pushing Scott and making him fall. 

The referee ran towards the both of them to separate them, and so did their teammates. No one understood Rúben’s anger but Lucía had an idea why he was acting like that. And she was not happy about it.

The match ended with a terrible result for United and she was dreading going into the dressing room and facing the players and Erik.

“Friends again?”, said Pep when they hugged.

“Don't talk to me for a couple of weeks".

And that only made him laugh.

When the players were approaching the tunnel, she tried comforting them. One of the last players to get there was Scott.

“Your neighbour is a fucking dick”, he said to her, which made her close her eyes and sigh.

“It was a very intense match”.

“Don’t excuse him. There was no reason for him to do that. He wasn't even playing and his team was humiliating us. And when I asked him for an explanation, he just looked at me as if I was supposed to read his mind or something. What an idiot!”

“Yeah, it wasn’t his finest moment”.

Erik’s post-match talk was so brutal for the players but so sad for Lucía. She could tell how much he was hurting after that result and it made her hurt too.

When she finally got the chance, she got out to get some fresh air and saw Rúben getting out of his dressing room as well.

“Hi”.

Hearing her voice, he turned. He shook his head. “Not here”.

#ruben dias #ruben dias imagine #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias fluff #ruben dias fanfic #ruben dias fanfiction #footballer imagine #footballer x reader #footballer fluff #footballer fanfiction

[inappropriate-aunt]

I never seem to have my journal on hand when I need to write out my thoughts but I always have this thing- gestures at phone- so now my problems can be your reading material. To be honest it's been almost 8 months and I'm not over the death of my dog. I miss him all the time and cry about him every day and I go to sleep wishing he were there. I'm struggling more than I care to admit. It doesn't help that this entire year has also been a series of me or my new dog getting sick, and that when she's not sick she barks at me a lot and apparently I have some issues with loud noises. I was in a household that had a lot of angry yelling growing up and apparently that's stuck with me. I don't even like yelling between rooms for communication. I literally walk closer or just text someone and if they yell at me from another room I instantly get tense and have to consciously remind myself that I'm not in trouble and they just are doing a normal human thing. So going from my sweet, quiet boy Edward who only barked at bikes to my feisty, intensely affectionate and very talkative girl Kita who barks at everything all the time -has been a challenge, and made me extremely aware of the effect that yelling and loud noises has on me. I tense up. I can't think. I zone out and if it keeps going I breakdown. I wish I weren't like that but unfortunately I am and it's just something I am having to accept right now. I don't mind a little barking, but the constant barking and the fact that it feels so targeted at me and not my spouse really gets to me. I have at times wondered if maybe I'm not cut out to be a dog owner. Maybe I just got lucky with Ed and he was my one true love and I'll never have a companion relationship like that again. Maybe I'm not really a dog person, I was just an Ed person, and I don't know how to adjust to life without him. I knew I wasn't ready for another dog yet, and I was hesitant about Kita because of her age and vocal nature. I initially said that I didn't want to get her, I wanted to wait, I wanted to find a dog closer to like we had discussed, but that upset my spouse so much and I know he really needs to have a dog around and I couldn't stand to see him sad anymore so I agreed to get her. And now I just feel weak and pathetic because I can't handle her and my grief over Ed at the same time. And it sickens me because I love animals, I love dogs, and having a panic attack or a crying fit every day or needing to isolate to calm down is not the hallmark of a great caretaker. It feels at odds with who I am to be struggling with my dog and questioning whether or not I even can live with a dog. I mean, this is the reason why I don't have kids- I love kids, and I fear that if I had kids of my own, I wouldn't be able to handle the responsibility, and I wouldn't be a good caretaker, and they would hate me, so I know it's just better if I am the fun aunt for other people's kids, because I can't keep that fun energy up. And maybe that's true about dogs too. I don't want it to be, but I'm genuinely starting to wonder if Ed was just a special dog and I don't have the constitution to properly train another dog to not walk all over me. I don't know how much of this is just grief and longing for my boy and how much is a very real truth that I need to accept about myself. I'm just exhausted from being sad all the time.

[juni-ravenhall]

tw: really bad depression etc dont read if sensitive. (tw tagged)

its messed up how a couple days ago i had one of my absolute worst depression days compared to previous months and was more or less suicidal again (for the duration of that day). then yesterday and today i felt way more normal human person than usual (its extremely rare for me to feel "almost normal" like not severely apathetic and severely depressed and severely unhappy and severely unmotivated to be alive or to do anything etc, combined with being in chronic pain and feeling physically sick etc).

im exhausted and sick today so i cant rly do anything but my mental state is about the same as yesterday aka... emotionally i feel kinda okay. im upset about not being able to do anything ever, but thats a thing i just have to feel every day in general and not specific to today. other than that i feel kinda okay. i feel like i would be cleaning and doing other tasks i need to do if i wasnt too physically exhausted, bc i have motivation to do (small) things rn, and yesterday when i was less exhausted i did get a bunch of stuff done.

its really really crazy experiencing not-apathy. i really dont know how to describe what its like to go between the suicidal apathy to "hey i almost feel like a normal person today aside from the physical stuff". (but as a note, its not "improvement" or that im "getting better" bc if youre suicidal 3 days ago and then have 2 okayish days its just... not long enough to be proof of a consistent change)

im doing some changes lately in that ive been trying to quit eating candy (chocolate is my self-treatment drug since the swedish healthcare system doesnt even try to help me most the time and the only thing aside from my gf that numbs the pain is chocolate) and im maybe a week or a bit more than a week into being chocolate free for this round. usually my mental health crashes for any reason after a few months and i go back on it, but at least i made it through one suicidal day without going back on it so far. if i can eventually stick to a healthy diet without much sugar, i hope that might help some of my other symptoms, but its hard to get to that point alone without money or support when youre disabled. (aka fuck the healthcare and wellfare systems)

#personal #nonhorsgaem #tw suicidal #tw depression #tw mental illness #tw comfort eating

[therandomavenger]

The State of Things

It’s been a busy couple of months here at stately Grayson-Coats manor. A lot going on. Like, a lot a lot.

Jimmy and I spent a few weeks furiously planning the wedding. We have a tentative date (Oct 12th), and we pretty much have our colors (grey and purple) and the overall flow of the ceremony, as well as our attendants selected. Our priest has agreed to marry us (which I something I never thought would be possible, but that’s the Episcopal Church for you), and we’ve decided to get married at the actual church, which will be amazing. The next step is to call the church and schedule an appointment with the priest and also whomever we need to talk to to actually book the church and that has been on my to-do list for like six weeks now and I … just keep forgetting to do it? This is not a ‘he has mixed feelings so he’s dragging his feet’ thing, which I can forgive you for thinking. It’s a ‘the church office is only open until noon every day and by the time I remember I should call they are closed’ thing. I did put it on my LifeUp! To-do list so it should happen soon, hopefully tomorrow. I hear you. Get your shit together, Chad.

We both started school January 16th, and that has been an adjustment for both of us. I love my classes. I love the process of doing art the same way I love the process of writing, which is a good sign for my longevity in this pursuit. Originally, I was just going to get a certificate in Digital Art and Design, but now I’ve decided to get a whole-ass AA in Art. Specializing in Digital stuff, but also pursuing drawing and painting.

I am finding myself having to forgive myself for being a beginner in this. It took me 46 (at least) years to get somewhat good at writing. I’ve been doing art for a month. Less than, actually. I know how I want things to look, but my skills have not developed to the point where they come out like that. This is as it should be! If things were feeling too easy, I wouldn’t be learning. I’m getting good grades on all my assignments. I am exactly where I should be. But there’s a part of me that is like ‘I need to demonstrate immediate mastery of every new skill I try, or I am a loser. I am the only one this applies to.’ I need someone to sit next to me and spray me with water every time I say something self-deprecating. (Yes, I have been working on this in therapy). I will probably start sharing some of my art soon, probably on my Instagram account.

But I love being in school again. I like being on campus and sitting in class and working on a new set of skills. I’m into the whole thing. (Could academia be my kink?) I’ve started to make friends with my fellow students, many of whom are my age or older. Also, maybe this is news to you, but art seems to attract a lot of queer people? Who knew? Anyway, I love every part of this except getting up for 8:00 classes. Like, who invented 8:00 classes? They need to be punished.

And while I have turned my attention to art school, I have not neglected my writing. It is still my first love, and my primary vocation. I scheduled myself three days a week for writing. I write 2500 words every writing day, which gives me 7500 words a week or 30,000 words a month (at least). In January, I met this goal, even though I took a week off because I got sick (influenza can die in a fire), and I am on track for February too. I was a little afraid that my mental energy would fail me, but art and writing, while both creative, don’t use the same parts of my brain, so doing a lot of one doesn’t exhaust my capacity for the other. I have six days a week I work at either school, or writing both, and I take Sundays mostly off. I’m extremely glad I quit working at the library because that would not have fit into this schedule, despite the fact that I don’t have class the day I usually worked.

I’m almost finished with the rough draft of ‘World Enough and Time,’ my sci-fi romance that started with a silly idea and has gotten surprisingly deep. I have my next few projects lined up. Actually, I made a list of all the books I have solid ideas for, and it was, I shit you not, 37 books! So, because I am a planner, I scheduled out a potential work and release schedule and this will take me thirteen years. And part of me wants to post that list of deadlines and hold myself to it, and part of me is like, no, just write the books and don’t worry about deadlines. Clearly, I need my muse to take a vacation because I don’t need any more book ideas. But it was nice to get a realistic idea of what was possible. In 13 years, I will only be 64 (I can’t believe I used only in that sentence) and that isn’t really that old by any means. There are a lot of people in my writing group who are older than that, and still going strong.

Overall, I’m grateful for the way my 50’s seem to be shaping up. I’m not as young as I used to be, but physically, I’m just as capable as I was when I was 30. I’ve finally figured out how my brain works and created ways to be productive. I am wholly myself with everyone in my life, no longer trapped in the closet. I have great relationships with my close family and my kids and grandkids. In October, I will marry the love of my life, and there were many times over the years I despaired of that ever happening.

I would love to get away from financial stress, and really see my career take off, but I’m not really in control of whether or not that happens. The best thing I can do is put out the best work that I can, work that I am proud of, and I have been doing that. I’m looking into ways to not go as deeply in the hole as I have been (the art degree is part of that).

I have four books lined up to publish this year, including a short story collection that will be an exclusive for newsletter subscribers. Also, Curse of the Onyx Heart, the first book in The Circle and the Shadow, and epic fantasy series. In August, I plan to release Beneath the Silent Stars, which is Broken Stars book 5. Also this summer, I’ll be sending out the short story collection, which is titled Ghosts of Exile and other Stories. And then I hope to release World Enough and Time in December. That will bring my published works up to 10.   

I feel good about how things are going right now, even if things are not perfect. This is the life I have built for myself, and if I’d known it was coming during those long, dark, years, I would have realized that all the pain would one day be worth it.

#blog post #gay stuff #book business stuff #writing life

[eatabag0fdicks]

I have no followers so this rant is more like a diary entry but I gotta let it out. Every time I get the thoughts, images and memories of my ex outta my head his brother or friends try getting in touch with me again. I've made it more than clear that I want nothing to do with him, his family or friends, any part of that life I had, but that's not good enough. I'm finally starting to take back my life and I can't say it's easy because I'm only 140 days into recovery after 18 years of active addiction. This is all new to me, but I'm so proud of how far I've come in almost 5 months and granted if I never met this person I wouldn't have ended up where I am today but I don't owe him anything! The promise I made to myself of becoming the best me I can be is way more important than a dope sick promise I made to him about "forever." I am not a punching bag. I am not a sex toy. I sure as shit ain't an excuse. Even after the hell he put me through I said, about 2 months clean and still in rehab, "I can't put money on your books but I can be a friend, I just need you to understand why I need time and why I left. All I wanted was to get clean and be happy and I could not do that while walking your path. You were extremely abusive and to this day are still trying to manipulate me. You're sick, as am I, but we need to take care of our own recovery first and foremost and when I feel like you're no longer going to do damage and when I will no longer put up with it, I will try to be your friend." That wasn't exactly what he wanted to hear.. I've always been the codependent that falls for the narcissist and it always turned out horrendous, but this time we were also co-addicts which turned an abusive relationship into some shitstorm cycle of insanity. I lost so much because of him and because I was too scared to leave. He always said "well at least you have your parents, as long as you have them you'll never truly be hungry (broke, homeless, etc.)" Well then why the fuck was I hungry, broke, homeless, etc.?! They love me no matter what but they won't cosign on my bullshit and I wish I never cosigned on his! I wish I saw from another perspective just how fucked up that situation was. After his reaction to me saying he was abusive, I stopped answering the calls. I couldn't block the facility number but once he was extradited I answered one more time and told him I do not miss him, I do not trust him or believe a word he says, I will not help him, but I genuinely wish him the best and will pray for him. I hung up and the next time that call came through I blocked it (different facility actually had a block option). Since then (about 3 months ago) I get calls, texts, follow requests, even password change emails once a week, give or take. Always from the same locations, numbers, urls - his brother and his friends. I should expect it but I can't handle the traumatic symptoms I developed from the situation and my brain says "ope! nah, we're just gonna push the memory of that bitch boy right back out" so then by time a notification comes in again it's jarring and throws me into a mini (sometimes major) panic attack. I don't think they'll ever find this page, this is something I've actually kept private from most of the world but please gods, grant me some grace. Some peace from this never ending cycle. I can't keep fighting. It seems so simple: name pops up, block, move on - but it isn't anymore. It brings up so many memories, it always seems to be at the worst times, it's exhausting.. I'm tired. And I know if I continue to fight the memories and continue to ignore the problem people, one of two things is gonna happen: they'll give up, or I'll give in. Idk where this story started or if it makes any sense at all but now I'm physically tired so I'm done. Goodnight..

[klassickdei]

pointless life updates #01 - far from home

hello.

welcome to the first episode of my pointless life updates.

I hope y'all doing okay just checking in on you... if you've been struggling this past few weeks, same with me bestie. me too. just hoping going to get better. it’s 11:39 am and I’ve spent most of today not really doing anything much so I decided to get my shit together and sit down to write an essay. I had my regular water ㅋㅋㅋ and also a home-made potato+소세지+sambel (just a random combination of things) for breakfast.

it’s been a month since I left my hometown, and started living in south sumatera. I remember for the past 2 years, I was sitting on a lot of “what will I do with my life once the pandemic is over?” thoughts. then early this year it comes the pandemic is almost over (hopefully) and the world is getting better. I was looking at the sky and thinking about I needed to be doing something. I can’t get stuck anymore. and trying to do something extremely new. everybody loves to tell me, that I was born an old soul... but there's so much that I don't know... better keep my eyes wide open. not every decision you make is going to put you over the top. and I think my decision to take this opportunity and come to palembang-indralaya, it’s going as great as it can be. there is still this feeling of being lost. I don’t know where I’m going to end up. I don't even know what's going on for dinner lmao. it does get lonely sometimes. but I got used to it. meeting new people and move on to different directions and then gotta meet people again. and then move on and gotta do it again. definitely, my introverted characteristic is feeling anger lol. I speak with my facial expressions more than I do with my words.

the past month has been rough. there was a bunch of stuff that I had to do but I couldn’t do it because I was sick. and there were people relying on me to get some stuff done that I couldn’t keep up with because I was feeling so overwhelmed. plus+ something bad happened in my home in my hometown. huh, I had a war, with my own self, my own mind. :(

BUT I had some memorable experiences...

aug 7, decided to go out, bought some furniture, and tried my first ever "ayam geprek" here. but turns out it's not the "ayam geprek" that I am familiar with. the chicken is ordinary fried chicken............ yea you know what I MEAN... and the most interesting thing is that they eat it with soup/? idk you name it... yea yea weird... :( but as long as there is a sambel.. 100% have no problem with it. I can eat it forever.

aug 9, started reading a new book! I have so many reading lists, but I have no time:( currently, I read a book by Japanese authors, Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, The Courage to be Happy: True Contentment Is Within Your Power (English edition), also, resume reading a manhwa named 이번 생도 잘 부탁해 by 이혜 (Lee Hey) 작가님.

aug 11, first-time faculty TOUR! my faculty color is kinda interesting, it's PURPLE! heheh. I found it cool because the building is literally in LIGHT purple. yea, not an ordinary purple. the tour is NOT fun. feeling exhausted and I am literally sweating A LOT. my bad for saying that the campus is BIG. no! the faculty itself is SO BIGGGGGG!

aug 13, went to some places with my faculty (of engineering) from my host university in Palembang (such as Jakabaring Sport City [venue of the 18th Asian Games Jakarta-Palembang 2018]; the uni Palembang campus; Ampera Bridge; LRT Station; and last but not least OPI Mall). saved my precious money because I had free lunch lol.

aug 17, the independence day of Indonesia, yeaa I had to wake up at 6 am. and get ready for the ceremony. but, not the formal one.

aug 18, I WANT "SATE AYAM". but end up didn't get one. :( + started watching a new Korean drama called "Adamas".

aug 24, submitted my first ever deadline of the semester, that the lecturer gave the assignment just right before the day! and bcs of my health, I decided to begin work on it d-day at 3 am. and I have extra feeling proud of the outcome.

aug 25, me and my friends tried to go to the mall in Palembang by ourselves. it's an uneasy and excruciating experience, but we tried to enjoy the process lol. and we decided to go to PI. we ate some japanese meals, bought groceries, etc. we go out at 9 am, it takes one and a half to reach Palembang, from our place(main campus), then we back at 2.30 pm, and set foot on our place at 4.15 pm. ofc feeling exhausted.

aug 28, originally I should attend a "lomba 17an" , but it was my 1st day of (a girl) period. sad. so I stayed in my room.

aug 31, submitted my second+third assignment of the semester (a different subject as before). actually, the lesson is a little bit the same as back in my freshman year, but because of that I NEEDED TO FIGURED IT OUT! lol.

sept 4, nothing much different, still struggling... with this and that.

I'll wrap it out with a quote from the book I currently reading "because the reality right in front of us never waits—it's moving constantly from moment to moment. you can't just sit back and do nothing!" –youth, preamble xiv

last but not least, I wanna recommend songs.. it’s... "call me a quitter" by New Hope Club, and (forever!!!) my favorite of all time "the call" by Regina Spektor.

that’s all for today. thanks for tuning in and don’t forget to drink your water.

until next time. 09.2022 from ra.

#pointlesslifeupdates