#and the fighting/arguments that occur because of it is depressing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aphrodite1288 · 6 months

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Idk if you still perceived them as a toxic relationship, I'm the one who thinks that the most healthy thing in a relationship is communication so I really doubt ksoo get enlisted bc he wants to and not telling anyone about it, I mean exo is a thing, his relationship with jongin is other, maybe he didn't tell the other members but Ji is something else in his life plus his dad just died almost a year ago. I kinda understand your point and your theory about ji's depression cus his disease is a fact told by him, but speculate everything is all about ksoo fault its fck toxic. Depression is not something you experienced from one day to another and can be caused by so many accumulated reasons that took years and years to understand and ksoo must know that tho do u think he's that cruel and go to the army without a reason knowing Ji could be really sad about it? Kai must know that before anyone else so he could have time for processing and plans to do tgt but is normal still be fck sad after ksoo left and having therapy is a completely smart thing to do, that doesn't mean they had a huge fight

First of all, all what I said is not my perception, not my opinion, it's what I've been told from everyone: from K-EXOL, to our sources to the insiders who know SM staff or worked in SM and from Exo themselves told about this issue. And guess what? They know better than you. They're closer to him than you would ever be.

Sorry if it can't fit your narratives and feed up your fantasies.

Kadi just like any other couple aren't perfect they have their ups and downs and they certainly have their own flaws. Calling a relationship toxic just by one argument is wrong of you. This is not wonderland I think you should go seek medical help if you think like this.

You're the one calling them Toxic for not having a communication not me!

Ask your parents, I don't think they've never fought in a relationship of 2 decades at least.

I don't know if I'm allowed to share this info, but fuck it, I hate when dumb people who think they know their faves start calling us liars.

Kadi in 2022 in March exactly, they were on a massive fight and had a break again and they even went to Couple Counseling and the old Fans of this Tumblr from the Instagram group know this already. I've seen kadi's name on their Couple Counselor's Chart with their names and IDs, it was a bad thing from that Counselling company as they sold the Info to Sasaengs easily, K-ExoL, when they saw Ji and Ksoo going there frequently alone separately were curious why were they attending couple counseling sessions? Do they have issues with each other or with someone else they know ? And hence they followed them dug into the subject and discovered this and unfortunately the info was leaked. Remember when Ksoo went to Hawaii alone? Well it was during that period of time they were on a break.

Couples fight dear. It's normal ! And most of the couple fights occur because of LACK OF COMMUNICATION.

So yeah ! Expecting a couple in a relationship of 14 years won't have any miscommunication or a fight is so dumb of you. We don't live in Wonderland ! This is life! Have you ever been in a relationship have you watched BLs and Couples movies haven't you seen couples hurting each other and crying and breaking up despite being in love??

, t

So same for Kadi, they can hurt each other, misunderstand each other, Do things to each other, TAKE DECISIONS WITHOUT DISCUSSING IT WITH E/O! Take decisions in a moment of anger ! It's normal it happens and this is what Ksoo did and unfortunately it's true and it was a no-going-back issue becos that's with the government it's military application. He himself regretted it later because he missed many good Movie offers and opportunities at that time, even his managers and SM's production team told him he messed up he acted in a moment of anger at that time, and going on hiatus due to military in the Epitome of his career is a very bad move and he was told that by Veterans and his friends in the industry and he admitted it to movie producers and Management teams in SM, and.it was a famous discussed subject. No idol wants to go on military hiatus when they're on the epitome of their career, but instead until they settle things down first then they go. Because Many idols and actors get a little forgotten and may lose their popularity after military due to the hiatus and some DON'T! which is why you see Baekhyun and all idols always anxious telling their fans "Please don't forget us! Promise you'll be here when I'm back! It won't take a longtime! I'll be back before you know it!" " think of me all the time when I'm absent" and Baekhyun was smart enough and was the very first idol to have filmed Content for his fans to be outed every month it was so smart fans didn't even get to forget him.

So moral of the story: Kadi aren't perfect. And you should know Honey that YOU DON'T KNOW KSOO !! The idea you have on him is not 100% what he really is like! Y'all tend to glorify and shape idols in a perfect mold and put them on a pedestal as Sacred people who don't sin or Do wrong. Honey 😂 your Ksoo Oops isn't a Saint! He makes mistakes!! Remember you're just a fan! You don't know him personally to keep saying he can't do such things and that it's not his character 🤣 blah blah blah who are you? His mother?

Listen I'm just really tired of explaining everything to dumb people here. I don't care anymore, I say the info I have which I didn't create myself, I just report what I've been told and confirmed with Evidence, believe what you want if you don't wanna believe, leave it and leave.

Don't come up here and force your opinion on me, because we're not here discussing opinions, I'm giving you an info most of the time "A FACT" means something that actually happened and was proven to me, so I'm not here discussing it with you wether it happened or not and what you think about it, I don't care what you think , the thing happened years ago and that's on Period. I'm not gonna go back in time to discuss with you how it should have happened.

#kaisoo #kadi #kaisoo love #love #dika #kaisoo love story #jongin #kai #kyungsoo #D.O #kadi are a normal couple they can fight and break up

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hotcat37 · 15 days

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@technicallycleverdetective here's the IKEA! Jance version <3

8: what happens if one of them gets sick?

Nace is a natural caretaker so he'd be running back and forth doing whatever it takes to make Jan feel better. He'll cook soup, take Jan's temperature and stay with him until he falls asleep.

Jan himself isn't used to having to take care of other people but if Nace is sick, he'll make sure that his boyfriend doesn't try to do everything himself. He'll keep Nace stuck in bed by immobilizing him with blankets (+Igor and Ollie) and take care of whatever errands Nace was supposed to do that day

11: do they try to hide their emotions if upset?

I do think that would be a bit of a struggle, at least in the beginning of the relationship. Jan already isn't the type of person to open up easily while Nace struggles with feeling safe enough to be vulnerable. They're very considerate of each other tho and they don't pressure the other into talking about their feelings if it's too soon

12: do they have many heated arguments? How do they smooth things over?

This is a lill spoilery because there will be a chapter containing an argument and I don't wanna spoil their way of handling it yet haha But in general, no. Jan is extremely careful not to escalate arguments into fights and Nace is conflict avoidant so a huge fight is unlikely to occur

15: do they always say I love you before leaving?

They're the type of couple to use love confessions more sparingly so I don't see them saying it every time before leaving. Actions are a more meaningful way of showing love to both of them than words anyways

17: who's more likely to pull the other in by the waist and kiss them passionately?

Neither are very likely to do this as they enjoy casual intimacy and don't do big dramatic acts of affection. But I can see Nace picking Jan up in an enthusiastic bear hug and giving him a lill kiss <3

20: choose one song that perfectly describes their relationship

Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby-Cigarettes After Sex (the vibes are very much IKEA Jance)

Nothing's gonna hurt you, baby As long as you're with me, you'll be just fine🎶

22: what reminds them of each other?

Jan: Djungelskog/teddy bears in general and the color purple Nace: leather jackets and cats <3

36: who's most likely to fire up the stove at 2AM because the other is hungry

Nace <3 Jan finds it difficult to take care of himself sometimes so it wouldn't be uncommon for him to go to bed on an empty stomach only for Nace to make him some food once he's awoken by Jan's stomach growling

41: which one would take off their jacket and drape it over the other's shoulders?

Jan has the tendency to assume that he'll be fine wearing just a leather jacket instead of a coat lol. Nace will always share his scarf and jacket with him <3

44: who would dance in the kitchen making dinner?

I think they'd dance together :D Cooking is supposed to be kind of a silly relaxing moment for them so if a good tune comes on they'll each do their own groovy moves lol

51: what's a non verbal way they say I love you?

Jan comes to visit Nace at work often to give him kind of a break from an occasionally stressful day which allows Nace to snap out of customer service mode if only for a few minutes. Also he'll take small plain snacks with him in his pocket whenever they go out in case it's hard to find some place to eat

Nace is already very attentive in their day to day life, but if Jan is struggling through a depressive episode, he's got his full attention on his boyfriend. He'll wash Jan's hair when he can't find the energy to do it himself and he'll motivate Jan to go outside at least a few minutes a day. He'll just show Jan even more love than usual and reassures him that he'll stick around even when Jan isn't doing too good mentally

55: do they like watching clouds or star gazing?

They're more into cloud watching <3 They'd definitely point out weird cloud shapes to each other haha

60: who pulls the other closer when they're sleeping?

Jan finds Nace to be super cuddly so he often can't resist just squeezing his big teddy bear against his body. Nace tends to get overheated easily at night tho so the squishing might be met with a dissatisfied whine 😅

#otp asks #nace jordan #jan peteh #jance #Jance ikea au

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r0yalgrimm-artz · 1 month

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So...future GX look?? Around in their 40's where they've both finally settled and feel much better with where they are in their lives.

More so domestic life style look. I was so torn back and forth between giving Chazz some stubble or not. He only has a lil stubble since I imagine his stubble doesn't grow much. Also not much chest hair it's like a little bit. However when he's dueling in front of an audience or for the cameras, he tends to shave ofc to give a clean look (also so the makeup applies better when he dresses up). Forgot to give him a bit of eye bags but he sleeps a bit better when he's home. Also forgot his GREY HAIRS FFS.

Kore is more relaxed and finally at a healthy mental state in her life. Goes by she/they, embraces it and is comfortable with it. Not on the verge of death or having near death experiences compared to her 20's. Does Duel still, loves dueling with all her heart. Gets spammed phone calls and messages by Chazz when they're away, after some instances in their 20's where Kore nearly fucking died so now Chazz messages her and calls her a lot when either he or she is away.

Also some notes but not really relevant I just like these soft old cougars:

⚡️ Both got married at 34, mainly cause Kore kept side lining the idea of marriage.

⭐️ Chazz is more affectionate in his 30's-40's, always will give Kore small palm kisses when she's holding his cheek. Takes advantage of this a lot.

⚡️ Kore & Chazz both gotten therapy, granted Kore is somewhat still iffy with her mental state at times.

⭐️ Have better relationships with their kids, while Kore sometimes struggles Chazz is surprisingly the one that helps Kore out and helps build better relationships with their kids.

⚡️ Kore did suffer postpartum depression when she had their first kid (Kenji). There was days where Kore felt nothing for him as ashamed as she is to admit it. Chazz managed to step in and help, giving Kenji unconditional love and being supportive and caring for Kore. Eventually Kore got better but Chazz kept a much closer eye on Kore.

⭐️ They did separate at one point in their late 20's or early 30's for like two years after some touchy subjects in an argument occurred and left them both separating for two whole years. Chazz still made effort to see his kids cause he loves them obviously. Do eventually rekindle and discuss their problems and issues after two years and get back together (before Chazz asked Kore to marry him).

⚡️ Both had gone out nightclubbing for once after not going out clubbing much since their youth. Was for Chazz's 40th. Both had a massive culture shock when they saw the state of nightclubs nowadays. Literally, both felt out of place. A time when they both used to dress up nicely and go out to nightclubs with lively bouncy music, now it more casual with pop music. They both decided to get wasted and got kicked out by the bouncer. Ended the night with Kore's face buried in a kebab on the floor that she tripped over into and Chazz spewing in the drains. No, they will never repeat what happened to anyone.

⭐️ Chazz has massive beef with his eldest kid Kenji. Kenji acting like a little shit. Mainly because when Kore and Chazz separated, Kenji made assumptions and blamed Chazz even though it was both Kore and Chazz at fault in their own way. Kenji has since behaved better. He just acts like a little shit because he likes to.

⚡️ All three of their kids are close in age...Massively regret having kids that are closer in age range. Both Kore and Chazz were hanging on by a thread trying to juggle them three at once. Literally both laughed like maniacs when their friends decided if they wanted kids close in age range but Kore and Chazz just laughed then were like, "Don't. You'll regret it". They love their kids though. Just Kenji being the first kid and actually being a little angel at first fooled them in.

⭐️ Chazz would fight with other parents if they dared accuse his daughter Himari for shit. Absolutely defends his little girl. Yet Himari is built like a fucking tank and easily can hold up Chazz no problem. Works great if he's having an argument with Aster and Chazz wanted to get physical. Himari casually just straight up picks up her dad as if he ain't weighing shit. Kore and Himari have mommy and daughter dates, and both can just act as feral in stores when it comes to impulsive buying. Do they need it? No. But do they really want it? Yes.

⚡️ Ekou has...gained Jaden's curse in attracting all the bad shit his way. Literally Ekou probably one point dueld to near death against someone. Chazz totally didn't call Jaden up 3AM like "YOU MOTHERFUCKER YOU PASSED IT ONTO HIM". Jaden was just confused.

⭐️ Also, Ekou is feral like Kore. Also hung around Jaden too much and gained habits from him. Chazz is disappointed slightly. Loves his kid still. Just...Regrets leaving Ekou around Jaden a lot.

That's all I have now I'm gonna lay down and cry cause stomach pains.

#my art #my post #digital art #yugioh gx #ygo gx #yugioh #ygo #yugioh oc #oc #chazz princeton #jun manjoume #ibispaintx #ibispaint art

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cure-typhoon · 9 months

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im very new here, what exactly is the runaway au im Very Curious now :eyes:

Hiii okey so basically is an au where the beta trolls (humans here) help Karkat escape from the people who kidnapped him a year ago and are going around the country in a van, trying to find a way to separate Karkat from the alien he has been fused with before things start to become worse for him.

And extended summary of the start of the au is:

Karkat has been missing for around a year before he was pressumed dead after his jacket covered in blood was found in the woods close to the last place he was seen. It was assumed he got attacked by an animal and thats why his body was never found.

The start of the story occurs at his funeral, from Vriska's point of view as she decides to attend the funeral even after she hasnt been friend with the group for around 6 years. They got in a Big fight at the end of highschool and all of them went on their separate ways, theyre 22 now and it's the first reunion as a group after the fight.

The funeral is, depressing as you can expect, Vriska is feeling akward as she is not really friendly with anyone in the group, she tries to talk to Kanaya as she was one of her closest friends when they we're younger but she is a mess emotionally because she was the last person who saw Karkat before he disappeared.

Anyway a lot happens and the funeral is almost over and all of the beta kids are reunited in a room just, not really talking. They tried to but it starts to become an argument until Kanaya's stops them and tells them that if they don't shut up she is kicking them all out because she really can't handle their garbage today.

They calm down and Vriska propose that they go to their old hanging spot, an old abandoned cabin they used to frecuent, and leave some things for him there because it would probably be less depressing that being here. And all of them agree and get inside or Vriska's van. They buy some burgers on the way and arrive at the place.

They go inside and kind of explore the place but decide to just sit and eat like the old times, they talk about old memories, and then Karkat. Things get emotional again and they decide to look for some of his old stuff to see if theyre even there.

Nepeta goes to the back of the cabin, to a room they hadn't check yet, it's dark in there and she uses her flashlight only to see a BIG fucking EGG in there, a slimy and broken egg full of a strange liquid. She is about to enter to investigate but stops herself, she smells blood, she points the light to the ceilling and sees a person, upside down, covered on blood and with eyes completely white.

She screams as that persons starts attacking her. She is fighting back but the person is trying to kill her, thankfully the others come upstairs after hearing her screams and starts to help her.

They fight and it's chaotic and some of them get injured badly but theyre able to tie him up and things calm down. They try to find out what's going, going from a possesion to aliens.

Then the person wakes up, now more calm but very confused, asking what the hell is going and where is he. He then sees the people in front of him and says "KANAYA?" and they get silent, they recognize that voice, it sounded more tired than what they we're used to, but it was Karkat

The one who they just had a funeral for, the one who just attacked them and the one who looks a minute away from dying.

Lets say things got chaotic after that. And thats all of the summary, for now lol, there's still more about the start but I want to draw it :3

#homestuck #karkat vantas #kanaya maryam #vriska serket #nepeta leijon #beta trolls #runaway au #runawaystuck #humanstuck

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hopeymchope · 2 months

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I am INCREDIBLY disturbed by the amount of people I see championing the horrifying act of suicide that recently occured outside the Israeli embassy in Washington D.C.

There are people acting as though this should be celebrated and remembered, claiming it's a valuable "sacrifice." Like it's "heroic" — as if this guy (whom I will not be naming here) was standing in a war zone and shielding Palestinian children from IDF bullets or something. As if he was hurting ANYONE who is party to the atrocities he's protesting. Even much-depised suicide bombers accomplish more with their terrorism than this act ever will.

There is NO value in suicide. There is only mental illness, abject horror, and everlasting trauma. There is only the anguish and eternal torment of everyone who ever cared about you, everyone who bore witness to what you did. To celebrate and champion this? Is a selfish, malicious act — one that will cruelly damage many people who need love and support. One that could definitely encourage similar, senseless deaths.

In fact, that is ABSOLUTELY happening. Because of this I am literally seeing people on this very site who are openly considering suicide and openly being encouraged by others to do it. Which is sick shit.

But very, VERY importantly? It actively hurts the cause it claims to be drawing attention to. Because it makes the protesting side look insane and unhinged. With his horrifically awful act, this man brutally undermined the thing he claimed to care so much about. And beyond that? His act of protest did nothing but EXPAND and EXTEND the reach of the horrific violence he claimed to be against. The result is akin to watching someone "protest" what's being done to the children of Gaza by shooting a random baby in the fucking head on the streets of Albuquerque.

What do you think you did? What do you think you accomplished? You spread violence, you scarred everyone around you, you horrified and devastated everyone you know, and you made your side of the argument look awful. THAT'S your impact. THAT'S the attention and message you spread.

But then, that's what this level of depression and mental illness does to a person, isn't it? You lose sight of your own value, you are unable to comprehend what you're doing, and you ultimately do nothing but destroy yourself unless you can get the help you need/deserve. And that's pretty scary. I've been there before. I even had some of these urges before — to unalive myself "for a cause." But I'm SO glad I came out the other side of it. What a waste that would've been. What damage I would've done to everyone I know.

This is a horrible tragedy... and perhaps the saddest part of it is how little it will even matter. People will remember what's currently happening in Gaza for decades, maybe centuries to come. But this act? No one will remember this except, perhaps, as a piece of disturbing trivia. "Can you fucking believe this psycho?" THAT'S the only legacy of this that will ever, EVER matter outside of this poor man's family.

I wish I had some idea of what COULD make a difference in Gaza. It feels pretty helpless to be this far from where all that horror is unfolding on the Palestinians who live there.

If you love this act? If you think it's valuable and/or admirable? I am begging you to reassess your thought processes. If you claim you want to protect innocent lives? Remember that that doesn't just mean the lives that are abroad, and it doesn't just mean protecting the neurotypical. It means valuing and protecting the lives of yourself and those around you, too. Including neurodivergent people who're struggling.

Value lives by valuing your own. Fight violence by not committing violence. Combat horror by not spreading horror. Show love and care for others by caring about how your actions will impact everyone you know.

And if you feel like this kind of act is a good idea for you? There's help. There's ALWAYS other options. And there's ALWAYS a better way out — even if it may seem like there isn't.

I realize people sometimes think they have no other escape. But if you're willing to consider escaping by completely giving up on ever living, then you damn well have to consider every possible alternative first. Cutting off your family, running away, starting from absolute scratch; anything else is better.

#tw: suicide #embassy suicide #gaza #And feel free to block or unfollow me if you disagree. I don't care.#You spread the idea of violent suicide being a heroic act - you win stupid awful prizes #suicide help #suicide support #suicide hotline #self immolation #IMPORTANT #if you get to the bottom of the tags I guess I'll mention this poor bastard's name #I'm just trying to bury it as hard as possible #aaron bushnell

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5oclockcoffees · 10 months

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The Santa Anas

There is something uneasy in the Los Angeles air this afternoon, some unnatural stillness, some tension. What it means is that tonight a Santa Ana will begin to blow, a hot wind from the northeast whining down through the Cajon and San Gorgonio Passes, blowing up sand storms out along Route 66, drying the hills and the nerves to flash point. For a few days now we will see smoke back in the canyons, and hear sirens in the night. I have neither heard nor read that a Santa Ana is due, but I know it, and almost everyone I have seen today knows it too. We know it because we feel it. The baby frets. The maid sulks. I rekindle a waning argument with the telephone company, then cut my losses and lie down, given over to whatever it is in the air. To live with the Santa Ana is to accept, consciously or unconsciously, a deeply mechanistic view of human behavior. I recall being told, when I first moved to Los Angeles and was living on an isolated beach, that the Indians would throw themselves into the sea when the bad wind blew. I could see why. The Pacific turned ominously glossy during a Santa Ana period, and one woke in the night troubled not only by the peacocks screaming in the olive trees but by the eerie absence of surf. The heat was surreal. The sky had a yellow cast, the kind of light sometimes called "earthquake weather". My only neighbor would not come out of her house for days, and there were no lights at night, and her husband roamed the place with a machete. One day he would tell me that he had heard a trespasser, the next a rattlesnake. "On nights like that," Raymond Chandler once wrote about the Santa Ana, "every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands' necks. Anything can happen." That was the kind of wind it was. I did not know then that there was any basis for the effect it had on all of us, but it turns out to be another of those cases in which science bears out folk wisdom. The Santa Ana, which is named for one of the canyons it rushers through, is foehn wind, like the foehn of Austria and Switzerland and the hamsin of Israel. There are a number of persistent malevolent winds, perhaps the best know of which are the mistral of France and the Mediterranean sirocco, but a foehn wind has distinct characteristics: it occurs on the leeward slope of a mountain range and, although the air begins as a cold mass, it is warmed as it comes down the mountain and appears finally as a hot dry wind. Whenever and wherever foehn blows, doctors hear about headaches and nausea and allergies, about "nervousness," about "depression." In Los Angeles some teachers do not attempt to conduct formal classes during a Santa Ana, because the children become unmanageable. In Switzerland the suicide rate goes up during the foehn, and in the courts of some Swiss cantons the wind is considered a mitigating circumstance for crime. Surgeons are said to watch the wind, because blood does not clot normally during a foehn. A few years ago an Israeli physicist discovered that not only during such winds, but for the ten or twelve hours which precede them, the air carries an unusually high ratio of positive to negative ions. No one seems to know exactly why that should be; some talk about friction and others suggest solar disturbances. In any case the positive ions are there, and what an excess of positive ions does, in the simplest terms, is make people unhappy. One cannot get much more mechanistic than that. Slouching Towards Bethlehem, 1969, Joan Didion.

#Joan Didion #Santa Ana #winds

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flowerxguts · 8 months

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@ashthedrawer here’s a little bit of background on Damien and his family relations!

———————＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚……………˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊———————

Early life:

Damien was born into a lower-middle class family with a presumed, but unconfirmed, history of mental illness. For unknown reasons his father (possibly Eliza’s too, possibly not) left when he was barely two years old. This left Damien in soul care of his mother, Lydia, and his older sister, Elizabeth (Eliza).

The family lived in a decently sized home in the outskirts of the small, Northern town, Edenburrow, of the now-radioactive seventy-first sector.

Damien doesn’t recall much from this period in his life, only a few details, such as not being allowed outside much, especially around other kids due to his very conservative, overprotective mother. He reminisces on his once-close relationship to his sister, as she was his only constant companion close in age.

Though his memories are vague and few, Damien still feels a strong connection to his late mother, persistent about how loving and caring she was towards him.

When Damien was nine he walked in on his sister murdering their mother with a kitchen knife. He knew they would fight occasionally, hearing yelling late at night, but knew better than to speak up, and often attempted successfully to drown the noise out. Eliza was not gentle, but it was impossible to believe their usual disagreements would become violent to such a degree.

The neighbors alerted to cops via radio before he ever walked in. Damien admits he did not run, shock freezing any of his survival skills, as he watched his mothers last breaths. Eliza took notice to him quickly, almost immediately crouching to his height to comfort him. She attempted to snap him out of his daze, convincing him to get some things packed, that they were leaving. She resorted to begging soon after, swearing things to him like “I had to do it”, “we weren’t safe with her”, “I was protecting you. This was for you.”

Damien was taken into state custody after his sister was incarcerated, as he had no other family. He testified against Elizabeth at the trial, despite the fact it wrong. He never looked his sister in the eyes after the event, knowing he would feel sympathetic and hatred all at once. Damien was moved around a few foster homes before beginning to be exclusively placed in groups homes as he neared his teenage years.

His mother:

In Damien’s eyes, his mother was someone who loved both him and Eliza unconditionally. She was a saint in her own right who did nothing but love. He adored her to no end and could never understand why his sister did it. He swears he’d never seen his mother wrong her in anyway, recalling his few childhood memories quite fondly. His mother and Eliza would fight occasionally at night, yes, but most arguments would be started by Eliza, who has always exhibited a more hostile nature.

Elizabeth did prove mentally unstable in court, earning her an insanity plea that saved her from a life in prison, but caused her to be locked in a psychiatric ward for all of her formative years. It is unknown whether she gained her damaged psyche through years of her mothers abuse or if she had been born unstable.

Eliza claims on her encounters with Damien that their mother was a manically depressed, devoted catholic with no control over her emotions. She was abusive to both of them in a way that endangered their lives. Elizabeth claims that numerous encounters between her and her mother occurred in which she would comment on how she never wanted them, only keeping them alive because of Gods word. Elizabeth states she feared for her and Damien’s lives some nights due to their mothers sporadic outbursts of physicality. She justifies her actions via promising Damien they were not safe in that house and needed to escape.

She begs Damien to realize that he altered his memories of their childhood due to the trauma. Eliza believes wholeheartedly that the memories Damien created are nothing more than fantasies to soothe himself because he’s unable to face the truth.

Damien swears in Gods name that he is telling the truth about his mother, that she was kind and good, but deep down he truly doesn’t know if he’s right. He tries to believe that Eliza’s damaged mental state is the reason she tells him these things, that she’s only trying to manipulate him further. But in reality, her explanation pieces together why his few childhood memories are so vague.

It’s permanently unknown whether or not Eliza was twisting the story to justify her actions or if it is true that Damien had unknowingly altered his memories due to how traumatized he was.

#i will try and add an explaination of his and eliza’s relationship eventually (because it rekindles post-escaping the psych ward)#(and that’s a wholeeee plot point)#BUT #here’s the exact version of his story i created eons ago #thank you 11 year old me for the reference #basically plagiarized it and just #improved the wording #->#oc: damien #oc: elizabeth

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cosleia · 9 months

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The Most Loyal

benarmie, modern au, 848 words. No explicit violence, but it's dark and pretty depressing.

Migrated here from Twitter.

Ben, like any normal person, has dark thoughts and feelings and has never felt safe expressing them. He’s always felt he has to be Good and Pure and Sinless (and he knows he’s not, and he hates himself).

But Armie makes him feel normal.

So, Ben disobeys his parents and sneaks off to see Armitage all the time. He can’t please them anyway, so why even bother trying?

Leia and Han don’t know what to do. This isn’t the son they knew. He’s getting in worse and worse trouble. Even sent to juvie for a bit.

Finally Leia decides she isn’t equipped to handle this. She brings up the idea of sending Ben to military school. Han is strongly opposed. He thinks sending Ben away is the exact wrong solution.

Ben overhears their arguments.

Ben throws what Leia can only refer to as a tantrum. He breaks things. He screams. He tells his parents he knows they don’t love him.

Leia looks at Han as if to say, “See?”

Ben is sent away. Han leaves shortly thereafter.

Military school is awful.

Leia sends Ben care packages and letters regularly. The other boys bully him for being a mama’s boy. They try to beat him up and take the treats. He beats them up instead.

Han doesn’t contact him at all.

Over time he gains the respect of a few of the guys. They form kind of their own gang and look out for each other. But the entire situation sucks. They can’t do what they want unless they sneak out, and if they sneak out they get ridiculous punishments.

Ben does, at least, learn how to fight and how to use weapons. Those are skills he can use.

When Ben goes home on holiday, his dad isn’t there. Leia thinks he seems more mature, more controlled. “It must be doing you good,” she says, and sends him back.

If it was doing him good, Ben thinks, if he’s more like what Leia wants now, then why is she forcing him to go back? Does he even want to be what she wants?

He doesn’t know what he wants.

Then, one day out of the blue, Armie is there.

Leia blames Armie for what happens. For Ben burning the military school to the ground and leaving with his gang. But Ben would have done it anyway. He just needed direction. And Armie provided it.

Armie told him of a place where people like him could be themselves. Where he wouldn’t be judged. Where he would be accepted and praised and supported. Where the enemy, teachers and parents and anyone else, couldn’t touch him.

Of course he went.

Snoke’s cult is very secret, virtually unknown to anyone. Leia learns about it, but no one will listen to her. She can’t find it. She can’t get in. She can’t save her son.

Ben is euphoric. Snoke will save everyone like him. Snoke will destroy people who hurt people like him.

Snoke saved him. He wants to please Snoke more than he’s ever wanted to please anyone, except Armie. When Snoke asks Ben and his gang for favors, he does them without question. After one particularly dangerous mission, a robbery, Ben finally kisses Armie, heady with victory.

Snoke allows romantic/sexual relationships in his community, because he understands people have needs, but Ben’s connection with Armie, once useful for bringing him in, could be a threat to Ben’s ultimate loyalty to Snoke.

Snoke begins doing small things to sow discord between them. He meets with each of them privately and tells them not to tell the other what they discuss. He tells Ben about Armie’s background, which Armie has never shared. How Armie is so ambitious, he killed his own father.

The thought of doing such a thing has never occurred to Ben. “It proved his loyalty,” Snoke tells him. “He is, perhaps, my most loyal.”

Ben wants to be Snoke’s most loyal.

Back in the outside world, Leia has given up everything to try and take Snoke’s cult down. She’s lost most of the regard she once held in political circles and can only rely on a few friends. But she is still able to come to Han’s rescue when he ends up in some trouble.

It turns out Han has been smuggling (like he used to do before they got married) and ran into one of the underground networks that feeds Snoke’s cult. Finally, Leia has a way in.

“Go get our son,” Leia tells Han, because she's not sure Ben would listen to her.

Han goes.

And Ben proves his loyalty.

That’s the final stroke that permanently separates Ben and Armie. Armie killed his father and shows no remorse. Ben killed his father and can hardly bear the excruciating pain. Armie never understood him after all. The only person who understands him is Snoke.

And from then on, Ben and Armie, Kylo and Armitage, are bitter rivals, resentful of each other, resentful of what they once had, hating themselves, hating everything.

And Snoke watches with a smile.

~The End~

#star wars #kylux #benarmie #modern au #cult au #ficlet #my writing

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leonbloder · 3 months

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Lessons In The Anticlimactic

On the night of my graduation from high school, I remember thinking that it was perhaps one of the most anti-climactic things I'd experienced in my short life.

For all of my high school years, I looked forward to the day when I would leave behind the fundamentalist Christian school where I often felt imprisoned, never looking back as I rode off into the sunset.

My graduating class was small, not even twenty people. As we all gathered after the ceremony in the church's fellowship hall, I said to them, "I'm never going to see some of you again after this."

It was a downer thing to admit, but it was true. I eventually married the only person I still have contact with from my class.

I have had many more anticlimactic moments in the thirty-eight years since that night. Degrees have been attained, goals reached, promotions granted, you name it.

And almost every time, I felt a twinge afterward, as I thought, "Now what?"

The other day, I was reading a lecture written by the 19th-century psychologist, sociologist, and philosopher Henry James. He was speaking about what causes "melancholy," which was a 19th-century term for depression or malaise:

The sovereign source of melancholy is repletion. Need and struggle are what excite and inspire us; our hour of triumph is what brings the void. Not the Jews of captivity, but those of the days of Solomon's glory are those from whom the pessimistic utterances in our Bible come.

So many things got me thinking as I read this quote. James refers to "repletion" as the "sovereign source" of melancholy, which is pretty bold.

He means that when we strive toward something and achieve it, the repletion of that goal hardly brings the satisfaction that striving for it did. We find joy in the struggle, even though we might hold the goal up as the reason for it.

I also found it fascinating how James brought in an analogy from the Hebrew Scriptures, which would have been easily grasped by anyone listening at the time. Biblical literacy was much higher in the 19th century.

What James means here is that the most pessimistic views, rejection of God's laws, and the lessons of Scripture by the Hebrew people in the Bible occurred when Solomon was king, at the height of ancient Israel's importance and influence.

He intimates that there was less griping and discontent and more faithfulness during the Babylonian captivity when the Hebrew people were in exile in a foreign land after the destruction of Jerusalem and the Temple.

Historically, there is an argument that James' allusion here is inaccurate, but you have to understand that he is using it for literary effect.

To his point, we feel hollow when we achieve all we thought we wanted, acquire all the wealth we thought we could wish for, move past need and stop struggling and striving.

This is why peace in our world is so fleeting. We say that we long for it; we might even be willing to fight for it. But when we attain it, it doesn't take long for us to find another war to fight or another battle to win.

Here's the thing: James wasn't advocating for not striving for the good or trying to better ourselves. That's what he believed we ought to be doing.

But he highlights an essential truth about how character and determination are formed and shaped through "need and struggle." More than the mountaintop moment, these companions push us farther and motivate and inspire us.

If we surrender to God's purposes while on our journey, we will discover a kind of peace and contentment that is hard to explain, even while we are finding difficulty.

As Miley Cyrus wisely sang once, "It's the climb." Yes, I used a Miley Cyrus quote.

We might reach the top of a mountain, but what do we usually see when we get there? More mountains, most likely, or a wide valley that needs to be crossed.

This shouldn't cause us to despair, dear friends.

Instead, it should cause us to rejoice because it means that the greatest learning, the most intense intimacy with God, and the growth we will experience are all ahead of us in the journey.

We might stay and enjoy the view for a bit, but we have to move on at some point. There are more mountains to climb and more lessons to be learned as we climb them.

May you find the strength and the confidence to find peace in your spiritual journey as you grow in faith.

And may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you now and always. Amen.

#presbymusings #leonbloder #dailydevo #dailydevotion #dailydevotional #christian living #leon bloder #faith #spiritualgrowth #spirituality

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athenabehavioralhealth · 1 year

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Seeking Treatment at Best Rehabilitation Centre in Gurgaon for Alcohol Post Alcohol Effects On An Individual’s Behavior

Alcohol is a depressant that affects the central nervous system, causing changes in behavior and cognition. Drinking alcohol can impact an individual's mood, decision-making abilities, and motor skills. However, these effects depend on the amount of alcohol consumed by an individual, his/her tolerance, and other factors like age, gender, and weight.

Alcohol is a substance that can make people feel more relaxed and less inhibited. When consumed in small amounts, alcohol can lead to feelings of euphoria, lowered inhibitions, and increased sociability. However, when consumed in larger amounts, alcohol can lead to a range of negative behaviors and consequences. Some of the noticeable ways in which alcohol affects an individual’s behavior are as mentioned below:

1. Impaired Judgment: Alcohol consumption can lead to impaired judgment and poor decision-making abilities. It can make an individual take impulsive decisions they may regret later, such as getting into fights, driving under the influence, or engaging in risky sexual behavior. This is because alcohol can impair the brain’s frontal lobes, which are responsible for decision-making and impulse control.

2. Emotional Instability: Alcohol can also cause an individual to experience mood swings and emotional instability. For example, some people may become more aggressive or confrontational when under the influence of alcohol, while others may become more emotional or prone to crying. This is because alcohol can interfere with the brain's ability to regulate emotions.

3. Impaired Coordination: Alcohol consumption can also lead to impaired motor skills and coordination. Drinking alcohol can cause individuals to have difficulty walking, talking, and performing other basic motor functions. This can lead to accidents and injuries, especially when individuals attempt to operate machinery or drive while under the influence.

4. Problem in Learning: Alcohol can also affect an individual’s memory and cognition, which can lead to problems with learning and retaining information. When people drink alcohol, they may have difficulty remembering conversations or events that occurred while they were under the influence. This can be particularly problematic in academic or professional settings, where individuals may need to retain information for future use.

5. Effects On Relationships: Alcohol abuse can also have negative effects on relationships, as individuals may become more prone to arguments and conflicts when under the influence. This can lead to strained relationships with family members, friends, and romantic partners.

Road To Recovery

In addition to these immediate effects, alcohol can also have long-term impacts on an individual’s behavior and mental health. Heavy drinking over a long period of time can lead to the development of alcoholism, which is characterized by a compulsive need to drink despite negative consequences. Alcoholism can cause individuals to engage in behaviors like lying, stealing, and neglecting responsibilities in order to obtain and consume alcohol. Therefore, it is important for individuals to understand the potential risks of drinking alcohol and to consume it in moderation, if at all.

In case, there’s someone you know who is addicted to alcohol, it is best to seek help from one of the Best Rehabilitation centers in Gurgaon for Alcohol.

Athena Behavioral Health is one of the Best Mental Rehabilitation centers in India. It offers the best treatment for various forms of mental illnesses and addiction at the most reasonable cost. Located in the hub of nature with the best amenities, our facility is one of the best Mental Health Treatment Centers in Gurgaon that has a team of experienced psychologists to assure your speedy recovery. Based on your condition, the treatment plan offered by our experts can be a mix of medications, therapies, and other required provisions. If you know someone who is looking for such a facility or is dealing with addiction or any form of mental illness, call us today at 9289086193 You can also drop us an email at [email protected]

Read more :https://www.aninews.in/news/business/business/female-mental-health-gets-attention-long-needed-new-exclusive-facility-coming-up-in-gurgaon20230501145058/

#Deaddiction Center in Gurgaon #mental rehabilitation center near me #mental rehabilitation centers near #Psychological Rehabilitation Centers #De Addiction Treatment in Gurgaon

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0813pm · 1 year

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It is a weird number, yet one I feel at peace with.

I’m more of an even number enjoyer, because odd numbers are often very weird looking to me.

But as for 21, it is one that I actually like a lot.

Today marks another year closer to the embrace of death, or simply, just me existing on this planet.

If you ask me how time has been since the last time I made such a similar post, it hasn’t exactly been kind to me.

However, I do as much as I can with it while I’m still alive.

In the past few weeks, I’ve been living with a lot more regrets than usual.

Oftentimes, I misunderstand situations, which strains my relationships with people.

I sincerely apologize to everyone that has been affected by such.

Living with anxiety and depression has been a really difficult fight.

I often distance myself from my friends when we arrive at a stage where arguments and misunderstandings may occur.

“Am I really starting to feel more for that person?”

That’s what I thought of at least.

Then I end up talking less and less, which ends up in us drifting apart.

But I really hope I can break that cycle this time.

I’ve been meaning to talk to a lot of my friends and open up a lot more, but it’s always difficult to find time to do so.

Somehow, making use of close friends on Instagram kind of helps to express myself.

I always use it to let everyone within my close friends understand how I am, because I often get afraid to approach one of you alone.

Whenever I start to feel confident, I often crumble.

Confrontation is not my cup of tea, but you’ll never know unless you try.

If there’s one thing I always seek for in my friendships, is the feeling of family.

As fortunate as I am to have a family unlike most people, I almost never felt as welcomed when I was younger.

The need to often please your parents with your studies drained me constantly.

That’s when I realized how my friends felt more comfortable and safe to me.

I share stories that many know, that my family don’t, so on and so forth.

It doesn’t mean that I don’t love my family though, I am still grateful for their existence.

It’s just that I feel the need to also have a second family within my group of friends, because I love everyone that much.

To be honest, I can be really stupid sometimes.

I am really sorry to everyone if I really hurt your feelings at times.

If I could fix the part of me that hurts myself and everyone, I’d do so in a heartbeat.

It hurts because I can be so happy, then depressed the next second.

It’s like, I don’t find joy in my life anymore.

It’s full of hurt, hate, everything that’s negative.

“Wouldn’t it be better if I never existed in your life?”

“Would you even care?”

“Am I really not that important to everyone?”

I’ll stop myself there.

The truth is, I know I’m not really that important, to somebody.

What’s important is that I prioritize myself.

Because everyone has their own lives to live.

As such, I still try my best to live each day.

Because I don’t want to miss a day where I won’t be talking to anyone anymore.

I want to be able to experience joy, love, everything that’s positive still while I can.

Only till then, would I ever be satisfied with my life.

To be given the opportunity to restart is not an everyday gift.

So I should make use of it while I can.

I really hope in time, I get to know what everyone thinks of me.

I’m so anxious, but I really want to be close with the people that I talk to now.

I don’t want to let go of anyone, and I don’t want anyone to leave me anymore.

That’s how much I love everyone, no matter how much I may get upset or distant.

I’m really sorry, I’m really sorry, I’m really sorry, if I hurt you at all. (once again)

My brain is often a mess with all the thoughts I have.

Sometimes all I wish for is a long deep hug.

Thinking about it, I’m not really a materialistic person.

The bond that I create with everyone is one that I treasure the most.

Although I am still figuring out how to appreciate it, all I know is that I’m really happy when I get to be with everyone in person.

I really want my friends to know how much I love them for being in my life.

Like everyone, that I literally met.

You don’t know how much it means to me when you give me a chance.

Thank you, I love you.

Whatever the case is, I don’t want to take my birthday as a reason to feel special and appreciative towards being alive still.

I was thinking, turning 21 is not that special.

I don’t feel as though my birthday is worth celebrating.

Suddenly, my friend told me, “It’s not everyday you are 21.”

Maybe...

I’ll try to appreciate my birthday as much as I can.

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isshehappy-no · 1 year

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When issues occur where I get to speak my mind, everything always goes blank. But at night when I lay to rest my head spins with so many ways on how I feel. And why I can’t just say these things to you when I get the chance, I guess I’ll never know. I don’t say things to start a fight. But I just want to tell you how I feel. I’m not good with speaking my feels because anytime I have, they were always invalidated. Growing up when arguments were happening, others always told me to just be quiet and take it, don’t fuel the fire. So many years of that when anyone gets slightly mad at me I stay quiet. Because after arguments I was ignored, sometimes I can’t remember for how long. So I shut down. I want to shrink and hide. I don’t do it to make you feel isolated, and frankly I didn’t realize it was like that until you opened my eyes. It’s just my natural body response and I’m trying so hard. And I’m struggling with all theses feelings, and have been since the beginning of December, and when I finally starting feeling like I could come to you and talk about it, things went down for you. And I wasn’t there the best for you I know that, and I have no excuse. But I knew you were depressed and I did try to be there for you, but I struggled silently. You threw it in my face that you struggled silently to, as if it was my fault. But you didn’t and still don’t know I was struggling as bad as I was. I try not to make things about myself, I keep it all in my head bottled up. I feel it in my chest just wanting to burst out. And all tho I live with you I feel like I can’t always talk to you, and I’m so so lonely. I miss having a friend, I miss my best friend. I have no one to talk to that just listens to what I have to say, or without making me feel stupid. I know I sound stupid but idk how to voice what I’m feeling, but it’s an awful pain. I already have self image issues, I look at myself and see nothing attracting, or nothing attractive about my personality. Quite frankly I’m a weirdo and I don’t know why, or if you’re attracted to me. I question it all the time. I can’t help but remember the things you said to M, I think about it all the time. Why did you say them? Do you still feel them? How long would it have continued if I didn’t find out? I look at myself and compare myself to her. I wonder what she was like and if I’m anything like her. Do you see things in me that remind you do her? Positive or negative. And now I get text fine someone saying you’re texting M.C. and I can’t tell if the text are old or new, or if she’s a liar and just making things up because she’s obsessed with you. And if they were old we were still together then and you told her you wanted her will with me. If your actually doing these things, do I make it that hard to love and commit to me. I constantly live in a state where I’m criticizing myself to be perfect myself. To be the perfect gf so I can’t do anything to make you upset, or do things where you don’t wanna be with me anymore. I constantly think if you actually want be with me because of how much you threaten to leave when I get lazy, or be in a bad mood for a while. Am I not good enough to fight for? Am I that hard to communicate with. These feelings I’m feeling are driving me crazy. Insane. I can’t go a day without thinking about it multiple time. I just want the truth

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mrsbrookemunson · 2 years

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“You Aren’t Gwen” Pt. 2 | Andrew!Peter x Fem!Reader

SAFE FROM NWH SPOILERS (You're Safe)

Song: Literally ANY Depressing song.

Prompt: *Sigh*... It's the aftermath of the harsh night that occured between Peter and Y/N. Peter still hasn't found the guys who did it, more secrets are discovered about what really occurred, and... Just Read It.

Genre: ANGST, ANGST, ANGST, and... The biggest, fluffiest ending that'll I hope leave you in tears. Because I cried.

Warnings: Arguments, swearing, mentions of sexual assault (I will put a trigger warning before it's talked about if you want to skip it), mentions of blood, fight warning, intrusive thoughts. Probably typos.

|Requested| Of course I would take this request. But, I am so sorry. This was a lot angstier than I intended it to be. Hope you still enjoy it.

A/N: Want a letter from your comfort character?! Click Here: https://forms.gle/JpiFuMJqJ8NVVkKT9 (Unlimited submissions).

| Part One | Part Two |

- "You Aren't Gwen" Pt. 2 -

There Y/N was, staring at her watch as each second passed.

“Peter, it’s here,” she announces as the door closes after her exchange with the food delivery guy. “Thank God, it wasn’t my neighbor Mr. Halford again. That guy seriously never stops—” she cuts herself off, seeing Peter’s distressed posture. “What’s up?” she asks, continuing further into the dining area.

He lifts his head slightly to show he’s present in the room. “Hm?” But, not really responsive.

Y/N sets the brown, paper takeout bag down on the table in front of him. “Hey.” She nudges him. “Is everything alright? Something is definitely on that mind of yours.” She ruffles his hair a little causing him to produce a small smile, but it falters, “Talk to me about it.”

“It’s nothing…” He shakes it off, only to awkwardly reposition himself on the wooden chair. “It’s nothing,” he repeats, now as if he’ll continue, “It’s just, I still haven’t found the guys that–um–that—” Now in annoyance of himself not being able to finish his sentence, he inhales sharply,

She frowns at the notice of how tense he was, beginning to soothe his back, her hand running gently up and down his spine. “Don’t worry so much about it,” she eases. “The police are also keeping their eyes and ears out of any similar reports, I assure you they’ll find them eventually.” When she sees how that didn’t affect his stiffened state she pulls away carefully to allow herself to look him in the eye. “Meet my eyes, please,” she orders when he purposely avoids her gaze. He does so, “There they are, there are those pretty little eyes of yours.”

“Y/N I—”

“Promise me something, okay?”

“What is it?”

“Just oblige me here.” Hesitantly he nods. “Good… good.” She cups his face. “Promise me that what happened with me and those guys won’t distract you when helping other people.”

He laughs in disbelief, “Y/N, what are you talking about?”

“I know you want to catch them, but please just let it go, and focus on other people’s needs. I know you want to protect me, and save me from whatever the world throws, but I am the least of your priorities right now.”

Peter’s eyebrows furrow. “The least of my priorities?” he repeats, exasperated. His hands catch Y/N's that were on his face, pulling them away to hold tightly in the space between them. “You are my number one priority,” he corrects. “And I’m going to find them, and they’re gonna pay for what they did.”

Y/N's leg bounces as she waits for at least a call that she didn’t know would be coming, but she hoped. Maybe she was a touch scared that Peter had taken it too far, but maybe he had good reasons…

“You didn’t tell me!” Peter shouts, his face a bright shade of red as he barges into her apartment through his window.

“Tell you what?” she asks, rushed.

“You–You—” He throws his hands into his hair, tugging at it roughly. “You didn’t tell me the full story,” he cries, visibly shaking.

Her expression drops dramatically, “Oh my God… Peter…”

“You–you didn’t tell me that…” He couldn’t bring himself to say it.

“When did you find out?” she questions, quietly.

“When we were at the hospital,” he answers, tears violently falling down both their faces.

The hospital. The hospital that Peter forced her to go to a day after the events took place. He remembered that day so vividly. It was the day he reported the crime, and the day he found out more of the consequences of her leaving that night.

!!!Trigger Warning Starts Now!!!

“Mr. Parker,” the doctor calls out. “May I speak to you in private?”

Peter was confused when he cautiously walked with the doctor to a secluded corner. “Uh… What’s going on? Is Y/N okay?” He anxiously stuffs his hands into his front pockets.

“Nothing looks to be severely abnormal, everything will recover smoothly,” the doctor informs.

Peter lets out a breath of relief, “That’s great! So, then, what’s wrong?”

The doctor suddenly looked nervous. Not a good look to see on a doctor. “Well, in the inspection, we noticed some—” he clears his throat, “—documentation of… sexual abuse that was not listed in the paperwork you gave to us.”

Peter’s throat tightened, his flickering to the ceiling before drifting off to the side, “So, what are you saying? That–that she was raped? No. No. She would’ve told me.”

The doctor shakes his head, slowly. “Mr. Parker, during times like these we see patients—”

“No,” Peter whispers, cutting him off. “She would’ve told me.”

!!!Trigger Warning Ends Here!!!

Ever since that day, and the days following Peter had been treating her like a porcelain doll, like she was so fragile, if bent the wrong way she’d snap.

“Noooo!” Peter pushes ahead of her to open the door that her fingertips brushed the handle of. “I’ll get it for you.”

“Thanks…” She accepts the offer. “But, you know I can deal with opening a door, right?”

He shrugs in agreement. “Of course I do—wait! I’ll—” He rushes to her to stop her from untying her shoes, and have him do it instead.

“Peter,” she groans, watching him slip off her shoes.

“Where are you going?” he asks when she gets up.

“To the bathroom. What? You gonna come with?” She raises an eyebrow towards him.

It looked like he actually took a second to consider it, making Y/N's eyes widen, as she stormed to the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

Y/N's foot clicks against the wood floor, fingers creating a beat on the wood table, and her whole body feeling uncomfortable on the wood. “Poor trees,” she mumbles to herself. The clock struck two. Two in the morning and not a word from Peter. “Come on, Pete… Where are you?”

She regretted ever letting him leave. Not in the mindset he was in.

“Peter?”

There he was. Sitting there, still as a brick wall. She swore she made time stop with how quiet it was. “Peter?” She tries again, but nothing. “Peter?!” She taps his shoulder causing him to break out of his trance.

“They found them,” is all he says. He hastily stands up, getting ready to jump out the window.

“Woah!” Y/N holds out her arms, pulling him back into her apartment. “Slow down, there. They found who? They guys that—” She gestures to herself.

“See?! You can’t even say what they did to you.”

“Well, that’s because it happened to me, of course I’m not comfortable with saying it. I don’t want to relive it again in my head. No thanks. I’m good. So, just stay here, and let the police do their job,” she rambles.

“And have them just get away with everything they did? No! They hurt you, Y/N!”

“I understand that, Peter! But my God, can’t you realize you’re not gonna save me from everything? I’m not even fucking worth saving half of the time, I’m worthless, it should’ve been me to fall out of your life not her!” She realized her mistakes once the words slipped with a gasp. Her hands fly to her mouth to cover it. “Peter… I’m…”

An excruciatingly long second passed without any words being spoken. With red eyes and a strained voice he… leaves.

He leaves.

“Y/N?” Rapid footsteps come towards her couch which she seemingly fell asleep on. He strokes her head, admiring every feature on her. “Wake up,” he whispers.

As if magic, her eyes shoot open to meet his comforting ones. “Peter?” Her voice cracks.

“It’s me,” he assures, pressing a kiss onto her forehead.

“Wh-what happened?” She sits up, hurriedly, guiding him to sit next to her. “Please, tell me you didn’t—”

He shakes his head, a pained smile stretched out on his face. “No…” He intertwines her fingers with his. “I didn’t,” he pants.

“Get back!” a cop yells.

Peter however did not listen, his punches getting progressively harder, and harder on the guy who caused it all. The one who caused the most damage out of his gang. “Please,” the man begs, hands up in defense, his face covered in blood, and fear in his eyes.

“You should’ve thought about the consequences before you did what you did.” He pulls back his arm to finish the job, only to have his own words strike him. “The consequences,” he mutters to himself.

Flashes of Y/N ran through his mind. The night he told her all those meaningless words, the night that caused all this pain. He’s reliving it in his man, and God only knows the feeling that flashed through him, every detail he missed, every word left unanalyzed.

Did she pass that test she was studying for that night?

Was she feeling any sign of discomfort from the shock of his web shooters? He swore he remembered her massaging her forearm after it sparked up.

And… The look. The look she gave him when he said those three words.

And tonight… When she said… Peter drops his grip on the guy, the police rushing to him, as Peter stands upright. “Good job, Spider-Man,” one of them says with a salute. “We can always count on you to save the day.”

Peter lets out a sob into Y/N's shoulder. “I want to…”

“Want to what?” she urges.

“I want to be able to save you from everything,” he finished, holding her figure close to him. There was no trying to escape from him with his death-grip. “Because…” He pulls away, breathless, resting his forehead on hers. “You’re the only thing in my life that’s worth saving.”

“You, right now, and what I one day am going to make forever, are my world, and my world is crashing.”

“You, right now, and what I’m about to make forever, are my world, and you’re the one who always tells me to go save the world,” he lightly jokes, making her giggle.

It’s distant, though. Her head wrapped around his words, “Peter, what do you mean what you’re about to make forever?”

His mouth hangs open, taking deep breaths, looking down at their hands. “Marry me.” He looks at her, alarmingly when her reaction is a laugh. “I’m being serious.”

“What?” She was taken aback. “But, Peter we—”

“I love you,” he blurts. “Engrave that into your brain for me.” His eyes flicker down to her lips. “I love you,” he repeats.

She couldn’t reply before his lips were on hers. The force of it causes her to be pushed back onto the couch, Peter not hesitating to follow the movement. He places a hand on her jaw, tilting her at a new angle to allow the kiss to be deeper, both their minds becoming a blur, only focusing on the intense friction being created between their lips. So much that Y/N can slightly feel a burn. “Yes,” she breathes, fanning Peter’s face.

“Yes?” He breaks into a wide grin.

“Yes I’ll marry you,” she gives in, vividly seeing a future with him that made her heart race, and her stomach egnite with butterflies. “I’ll marry you.”

She feels something slip on her ring finger smoothly. “It was the ring my Uncle Ben gave my Aunt when he asked her to marry him, she gave it to me about a month ago,” he explains.

Y/N's eyes glance down at it, fully taking it in. “It’s beautiful.” Tears welled up in her eyes, throwing her arms around his neck.

Peter traces her face, with the lightest touch, “To saving the world together…”

She beams at him, “My hero…”

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writing-for-marvel · 3 years

Text

Steve Comforting You Headcanons

Steve Rogers x GN!Reader

Summary: After having a horrible week, all you want is to be in Steve’s arms.

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING! depiction of a panic attack, mentions of anxiety and depression (please do not read/interact if these topics are upsetting for you), implied sex (nothing explicit)

Word count: 1.2k

A/N: Sorry I haven’t posted recently, I had a really tough week and this was the only thing I had the motivation to write - hope you enjoy!

Dividers by @maysdigitalarts

Masterlist | Requests are open! | Library

You let out a heavy sigh as you walked into your apartment which you shared with your boyfriend, needing his embrace more than the air you breathed

“Steve?” You called out, wishing he had made it home before you

When you didn’t receive a response, confirming you were alone, you collapsed onto the couch, hands covering your face

The corners of your eyes burned with tears as you tried to swallow the lump in your throat

Everything that could go wrong this week did go wrong

Your boss was being a complete ass - dumping all the worst assignments on you, and even though you had completed all the work before their respective deadlines, he rejected your request for leave which you were planning on taking for your and Steve’s anniversary

You had an argument with your mother - she claimed you worked too much and were too focussed on that soldier, insisting you should prioritise coming home to see her and your father because they weren’t getting any younger

One of your closest friends bailed on you last minute for plans to see a movie you had anticipated the release of for months, instead to spend time with her new boyfriend

Oh, and not to mention that horrible gossip at work who always wondered aloud to your colleagues in the break room how Captain America could ever be interested in someone like you

And to top it all off Steve had been away on a top-secret mission, meaning you hadn’t spoken to him in more than two weeks, he was meant to arrive home tonight, but he hadn't shown

Fearful thoughts raced through your head, what if something happened to him on the mission? What if he wasn’t coming home? What if the last time you saw him was the morning he departed for the assignment after you shared a steamy shower together? Was that going to be your last memory of him?

Images of Steve’s bloodied and bruised face flashed on the inside of your eyelids and tears were flowing steadily now, your body shaking uncontrollably

It was all too much, you would have been able to manage if the events had occurred separately, but with everything piling on top of you within the span of 72 hours, you couldn’t cope, you couldn’t breathe

“Darling?” Steve’s voice broke through all the chaos - you had been so in your head you hadn’t realised he had even entered the apartment

His bags were immediately on the floor, not caring where they landed or if he would trip over them later, right now he needed to hold you

“C’mere sweetheart” Steve cooed, his strong arms wrapping around you and pulling you into his chest

God, was this his fault? He had been away too long, fighting to protect other people while you were breaking down at home without him knowing. How many nights had you cried yourself to sleep in his absence?

He rubbed slow, careful circles on your back, kissing the top of your head as your tears stained the front of his shirt

“Hey, I'm right here... Just breathe for me alright, I love you and I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, can you take deep breaths for me? In... and out... just like that baby, in... out... you're doing so well, keep going, in... out...” putting into practice the breathing exercises your therapist had advised when you experienced a panic attack

He didn't rush you, let you take your time and only when you were ready and had stopped crying did you pull away from his embrace

"I'm sorry, I just had a really bad week..." You said as his hands cupped your face, he kissed you on the forehead and used his thumbs to wipe away the last of your tears

"Sweetheart, you don't need to apologise. I'm sorry that I wasn't here." The guilt was eating away at him, how could he have not been here, when you needed him most?

He knew your history with mental illness and should have known better than to accept a mission where he had to go so long without being in communication with you, how could he be so foolish to leave you like that, never again

For a while Steve sat on the couch, your head in his lap as you told him about the events of the week - letting you vent all your frustrations as he mindlessly played with your hair, listening intently to every word you said

You felt calmer now that you were with him, he had a way of lifting the weight of the week from your chest, merely his presence made you feel like you were strong enough to battle your demons - you had missed that while he had been away

When you finished, you sat up and leaned your head on his shoulder "thank you for listening"

"Anything for you sweetheart, c'mon, let me run you a bath" Steve suggested, knowing the warm water helped relax the anxiety buzzing around your mind

The hot water mixed with the bubble bath and the smell scented candles burning to create a spa like experience

"You can join me, if you like..." You said as you slowly pulled your shirt over your head

God that was tempting, but you were vulnerable right now, and he had run the bath solely to alleviate your worries, not for his pleasure - he gently kissed your bare shoulder and asked for you to relax in the tub while he made dinner

Steve wasn't the best in the kitchen, cooking had come a long way since the 40's, but he put some water on to boil to cook pasta and chopped up some veggies to mix in with a bottled sauce

By the time you had dried yourself off and changed into your PJs, fingers wrinkly from spending so long in the water, two bowls of pasta were sitting ready on the dining table

Playing footsie under the table and eating dinner, you asked Steve how the mission went, your mind clear enough now that you realised you hadn't asked since he arrived home

The rest of the night was spent cuddled up on the couch, 10 Things I Hate About You playing on the TV, until your eyelids became too heavy too keep open

When you opened them again, you found your scenery had changed - Steve must have carried you to bed, him now just in a pair of grey sweatpants, climbing in beside you

"I'm really am trying to do better, you know? Sometimes it's hard on weeks like this when it feels like the whole world is fighting against me, and my mind tells me I'm not good enough, that I'm not strong enough, that I'm not worthy of you, but I promise I really am trying." You said as Steve turned off his bedside lamp

"I know darling, and you are doing so well. Your mind is playing tricks on you because you are more than enough for this world and for me, but I promise, I am always going to be right here with you, reminding you of just how much I love you." He said, pulling you into his chest

And he meant it, you were his whole world, he had never loved anyone the way he loved you, and he would move mountains to make sure you knew how much he adored you

#em writes #steve rogers #marvel #mcu #steve rogers x reader #marvel headcanons #steve rogers headcanons #mcu headcanons #marvel x reader #mcu x reader #avengers #the avengers #the avengers x reader #the avengers headcanons #writing-for-marvel #marvel fic #mcu fic #steve rogers fic #avengers fic

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fangurk · 3 years

Text

She’s Always There (Paul Lahote x Reader)

Key:

Y/n: Your Name

Y/l/n: Your Last Name

Y/n/n: Your Nickname

Y/e/c: Your Eye Color

Y/h/c: Your Hair Color

Prompt Given To Me By @ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhh.tumblr.com: hey!! so the reason I'm messaging is because I wanted to request something but can't fit it all into an ask lmao. anyways could i please request a Paul Lahote x reader where the reader has been super close to the whole pack for years and has been Paul's imprint but doesn't know it (bc Sam thought it would be best to keep u away from it all) and they decide to finally tell you about being shapeshifters and being Paul's imprint and you're so mad about them not telling u earlier and there's a huge argument and they and Paul tries to calm you down but you say stuff like 'leave me alone' and things like that and it sounds like you're rejecting him/the bond in ur angry breakdown. anyways Paul is heartbroken and can't get out of bed or eat or anything so the guys finally convince you to come back bc they and Paul need you and it's just the reader cuddling with him and getting him out of bed to take a shower and eat and he realizes that you're not going anywhere and it's just like healing the imprint bond? sorry for this WALL of text, I've just had this idea stuck in my head for a while lol. if you don't want to do it, that's completely fine!! thank you for your time ♡

ok so my guy,, bc this fic has been stuck in my head for a bit, some scenes have developed? so idk i hope this isn't too much, but if u do write it, would u be willing to add like some angst to it, obvi, and maybe a scene/part lol where when the reader tries to get him to shower (bc the misinterpreted rejection made him like super depressed and he just felt low about himself) he won't shower, because he doesn't want to come out and the reader is gone. so either they shower together (not smutty just angst&fluff) or she sits like in the bathroom while he showers LOL. and when he feels a bit better, they go down to eat and he's touching some part of her at all times. if this is too much to like,, include then that's a-okay. i just need to get this OUT of my MIND ugh lmao!/!

Reader Gender: Female

Summary: The Reader has been friends with most of the pack members for her whole life. Which is why, after months of silence and strange changes, she was willing to let them back into her life— until she finds out she’s been told lies that leave her in danger, of course. After a big freak out and two weeks of avoiding them, the boys come begging for her help; it turns out that Paul has some wolf-y claim on her, and whatever she said to him has left him worse for wear...

Warnings: Mentions of Depression, Nudity, Angst, and Cursing.

A/n: this is literally like a whole novel I’m so sorry I got carried away. this is kinda based on a lot of fics I read where the imprint has the potential to really hurt people and I named Paul’s dad.

Word Count: 2.9k+

“The legends are real!?”

Y/n Y/l/n hasn’t ever been so disturbed in her entire life.

After weeks of radio silence, Sam Uley’s little ‘gang’, mostly consisting of people she’d known since childhood, had slowly trickled back into her life. What started as a grocery run with Paul or a movie with Jared had turned into big bonfire parties including Jacob Black and his gaggle.

But that was months ago. Months. And now, as she sits by a fire, surrounded on either side by them, they decide to tell her their little secret?

“Y/n.” Sam says as she abruptly stands, eyes stern and hand raised placatingly.

His actions only served to upset her more and her skin bristles with irritation. Sam was acting as if she, a human surrounded by shape shifters, was the unstable one. As if she could do any damage to things built to kill vampires.

“Don’t you dare, Sam.” She clenches her fists, glaring right back at him. “It’s been months- months- and you’re telling me now?”

“It’s not exactly an easy thing to bring up.” He reasons, voice a little less demanding. “We all wanted to be sure that you were ready to know.”

“Ready?!” Y/n laughs mirthlessly, y/e/c eyes wide with disbelief, “When was I supposed to be ready Sam? W-when one of you gored me? When a cold one ripped me apart?”

Her hands shake as she puts them on her forehead, blinking back tears. Growing up all she’d ever heard were stories of humans getting dragged into fights between wolf and vampire, and she couldn’t bring herself to look Emily in the eye because it was suddenly apparent that wolves alone could hurt people too.

It was so bad, whatever happened to Emily, that they said a bear mauled her— Y/n didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“It’s not like that, Y/n/n.” Embry chimes in, reaching out to grab his friend's arm.

She yanks her body out of the way and gathers her belongings quickly.

“What is it like then, Call?” She holds her bag to her heaving chest, “because it seems to me that you all have the ability to turn into giant, slobbery freaks that are built for killing vampires and, after completely dropping me for weeks, you decided to keep it secret from me for months. Did it even occur to you that I would’ve been better off knowing right off the bat?!”

No one says anything. Eight shifters and two of their girlfriends sit there, just staring at her like she was speaking a different language.

“You know,” Y/n has to clear her throat to steady her wavering voice, “had you guys really been souped-up on drugs like everyone says, maybe I could’ve handled the lying. But my life was clearly potentially in danger, and you let me hang around without saying anything. I- God I don’t want to see you people right now.”

She leaves with that, stepping over logs and storming back down the beach with determination. Faintly over the roar of her heartbeat, she can hear someone scrambling to stand behind her.

“Wait!— shit, sorry-” Paul grunts, jogging to catch up with her- “Y/n-“

With an unusual gentleness, his warm hand wrapped around her forearm. For a moment, deep in the back of her mind, a foreign feeling tells her to stop, to listen; but that small voice is quickly smothered by the rational part of her brain, and she wrenches her arm from his grip.

“Don’t touch me!” She snaps, lowering her voice, “Leave me alone- I need to be alone.”

Paul stands there, dumbstruck, an unreadable look in his eyes as she walks away. And he’d continue to stand there, looking like a kicked puppy long after her retreating form became a blur amongst the darkness of the beach.

“Paul?” Sam is hesitant, hand hovering over the younger boy’s shoulder a minute before he touches him, “You okay?”

Shrugging his leader’s arm off his shoulder, Paul sighs. “No...I...I’m just gonna head home.”

Instead of going in the directions of the cars, the wolf stalks off toward the woods; Emily stands from her seat, wrapping her sweater more around herself as she watches Paul leave. Concern is written all over her features.

“He’ll be fine, Em,” He pulls her in for a hug, “it’ll all work out eventually.”

ஓ๑♡๑ஓ

Y/n does a good job of avoiding them for a while.

She turns her phone off a few days in and avoids going to First Beach, even when Washington gets a rare, warm summer feel. Books that have sat long forgotten on her shelves get read and TV shows she’s always meant to catch up on get watched; it’s boring and she runs out of options, at one point thinking of dying her hair y/f/c just to spice things up, but it allows her to think. (Or at least it allows this strange little voice in the back of her head to tell her that she needs to go back to them.)

The next time she sees any of the boys is exactly two weeks after the bonfire incident.

She’s curled up on her couch, picking at some of the Clearwaters’ fish fry and barely watching an episode of ANTM, when a fist comes banging down on her door. Turning off the TV, she tiptoes to the window, peeking under the curtain as carefully as she can.

As she expected, Jared Cameron and Embry Call are on her porch, the former standing in front of her door with his hip cocked, the other rooting around in her mother’s plants for something. Cringing, she hopes if she’s quiet enough that they’ll just go away.

Her front door opens within minutes, however, and she realizes her hoping is fruitless.

Should’ve known you can’t hide from wolves, she can’t help but think bitterly.

“Y/n?” Jared calls out through the house, “we know you’re here.”

“Yeah, and you guys should probably move your spare key,” Embry tacks on, flicking the light switch to the living room up, “I've known you forever and it’s still in the same place.”

From her spot by the window, the y/h/c haired girl glares at the two boys, arms crossed over her chest. Embry gives her a lopsided grin and holds the key out to her, his bud plopping down on the couch and pulling her abandoned plate into his lap.

Y/n extends a hand to take the key.

“Has it really been in the same place?” She sounds a little more defeated than she’d like.

“Yeah, it’s always been in your mother’s cornflower pot.”

“That’s...kinda sad.” She wrinkles her nose, pocketing the key with the intention to hide it better later, “but uh, I’ve been ignoring you for two weeks for a reason. Peacefully breaking into my house kinda furthers my need for space.”

Embry scratches the back of his neck.

“Well,” He says, “we need you to come back, man. Paul won’t talk to anyone- Sam doesn’t know if he’s eating, and he won’t even get out of bed for patrol! He needs his imprint-”

“His what?” She cocks her head to the side and Jared snorts from the couch.

“She left before we got there, nimrod,” Jared mocks through a mouthful of food, “she doesn’t know what an imprint is.”

He lets out an indignant “Hey!” as Y/n walks by, snatching her plate back from him on her way to the kitchen. Embry chases after her, a grumpy Jared jumping up from the couch to follow.

“You’re his imprint— you’re basically his soulmate!”

“Really?” She says warily, sealing the fish and putting it back in the fridge.

Both boys nod clumsily.

“You remember a few weeks ago when you saw each other for the first time again and he kinda just stood there like an idiot while you talked?”

“Yeah? Oh!-” She brings her hands up to her mouth, brows furrowed as she recalls.

It was exactly Jared had said. She and Paul had seen one another for the first time in a long time and the minute her y/e/c eyes looked into his, it was like he’d been struck dumb.

Embry gives her an encouraging look, “An imprint is...It's not like love at first sight, really. It's more like… gravity moves… suddenly. It's not the earth holding you here anymore, she does… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector, or a lover, or a friend. When you snapped at him last week he thought you were rejecting him….”

A part of her thought about how absurd it was that he knew that whole speech. But the bigger part of her came to a realization that made her stomach churn.

“So he's all depressed… because… of me?” She whispers, leaning back on the counter.

Embry, always a rather sympathetic person, opens his mouth to comfort her, but Jared cuts him off.

“Basically. So are you going to come with us so we can help Paul or are you going to continue being petty?”

In any other circumstance, Y/n probably would’ve thrown something at her for calling her petty. She felt she was completely justified in her actions. A part of her wonders if she can really believe them— they’d spent months lying to her after all. But a larger part thinks about Paul, curled up in his bed, slowly desecrating because he thinks she rejected him.

If it were really all some ploy to get her to listen to them, then she’d at least be the person who chose the well-being of her friend over a petty disagreement.

“I’m coming.” She affirms, pushing herself off the counter, and letting the boys lead her to the car.

ஓ๑♡๑ஓ

Jared and Embry drop her off in front of the Lahote household. They tell her something but she can’t really hear them over her heartbeat, she doesn’t even know they’re gone until it’s too late to turn back.

Getting into the house wasn’t the hard part. Paul’s father, Cyrus, had been leaving as she arrived, and, after he watched her stare at the house with a fearful expression for a few minutes, he happily let her in. The hard part was willing her legs to take her up the stairs to Paul’s room, and then it was opening his bedroom door.

Y/n has known Paul since they were eight, but she was afraid of him until they were eleven. He wasn’t mean, per se, but his anger made him do mean things; she wasn’t entirely happy with puberty and it’s monthly gifts, but whatever it did to make her suddenly un-afraid of him she was grateful for. But now, standing in front of his bedroom door, she had a nagging fear that Paul would revert to that eight year old boy who threw lunch boxes and twisted arms behind backs until people cried.

The door creaks slightly as she struggles to push it open.

His room is almost completely dark except for the light coming from the hallway behind her. Trash and dirty clothes have formed a compact layer on his bedroom floor, foot sized holes leading up to the twin sized bed in the corner. On the bed, amongst the blankets she’s sure he doesn’t need, is Paul— or at least, a Paul sized lump.

As gross as it is, she’s kind of relieved he’s been eating.

“Paul?” She whispers tentatively, stepping toward the bed.

The lump flinches and turns toward her.

“Y/n?”

If the room and the description of his state weren’t heartbreaking enough, his voice definitely was. Hollow, rough, and small, everything it never was, everything Paul wasn’t.

“Is that you?”

“Yeah...it’s me..”

She carefully steps over to the bed, and Paul slowly sits up, pushing his blankets to the side. There’s a beat of silence as she stands between his legs, his reluctant hands coming to rest on her waist after a minute. Y/n let’s him have another to gather his thoughts.

“You really came…” Tears well up in his eyes and loops his arms around her back.

She runs a hand through his hair. “I did, and I’m so sorry, if I had known—”

Paul nuzzles her stomach, “S’fine, you didn’t know, and you’re here now.”

There’s a sort of cute, euphoria lacing his voice and he’s visibly much more relaxed.

“Just don’t ever say that again…”

“I won’t, I promise.”

She’s surprised when he manhandles her into his lap, but she doesn’t really mind. He’s warm and strangely familiar and something about it just— clicks.

“When was the last time you spent, I dunno, a minute or two out of your room?” Y/n asks softly, y/e/c eyes glancing about the room.

The shifter’s only response is a shrug, too busy nosing around her neck with vigor. When he finds a certain spot, it makes her squeak, and this seems to excite him like a puppy finding out its favorite toy makes noise.

“You need to bathe, eat something substantial,” She intertwines their fingers, “and the...pack...they’re really worried about you— are you even listening to me?”

He looks up at her then and flashes her a sheepish smile, answering her question. Pursing her lips, she pulls his arms from around her.

“C’mon, Paul.” She stands up and takes his hand. “We’re gonna get you cleaned up.”

She moves toward the door, urging him forward, only to be jerked to a stop as he stays put. He looks a little distressed when she turns back to him, brows furrowed, almost like he’s in pain.

“Paul?”

He grunts, jaw clenched as the cogs turn in his head. Y/n cocks her head and reaches out for his other hand. It felt like some sort of supernatural intuition, one she’ll blame on the imprint and ask Emily about later.

“Paul, hon, why won’t you come shower?”

“I’m afraid you'll leave,” He says bashfully, “it’s stupid, I know, but part of me is afraid you’ll leave while I’m in the shower.”

Y/n couldn’t help but feel a little heartbroken at his confession. Paul was part wolf, and part of being part wolf was imprinting— she almost wishes she’d have stayed long enough to listen, or been able to focus as the boys debriefed her on the ride over because only being able to speculate how much she’d actually hurt him was eating her alive. He wouldn’t even shower, something he desperately needed to do, because of what she’d said.

Taking a deep breath, she barely registers the words she’s about to say.

“I’ll wait with you, I’ll sit on the toilet, you’ll see me there.”

And true to her word, Y/n does sit on the toilet while Paul showers, reading the information on soap bottles to distract herself from the fact that he was there next to her, very naked. Occasionally he asks her what she’s doing, and she reads the ingredients out loud to the best of her ability, and he laughs a little— she tries to hide her smile, but she was too happy he was laughing.

She closes her eyes when he gets out, letting him dry himself off and pull on some clean shorts. He throws the wet towel at her when he’s done, eliciting a “Hey!” that makes him laugh again.

Now that he’s clean, the two of them descend into his quiet house. Y/n navigates the kitchen, her wolf attached to her hip and being less than helpful, and makes them both something to eat— he doesn’t do much more than stand behind her, wrapped around her, making her life more difficult.

“I’m so happy you came back.” He says, watching her work.

“I was always going to.” Y/n responds, her voice sure and steady.

They talk as they eat, sitting across from one another at the too big table in the Lahote household. Talk about how this was going to work, admitting feelings that always lingered, and everything in between; she hooks her leg around his, watching him scarf down his meal with a wrinkled nose and fondness glittering in her y/e/c eyes.

He’s...gross...but he’s hers, she’s kind of stuck with him.

A date is planned. An actual date.

Paul promises to take her to the local diner (and to wear a shirt, for once.)

“I’ve been saving up for something like this.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and you can get that dessert you like.”

Y/n laughs softly, but heat spreads up her neck and settles in her ears and cheeks. It’d been a long time since that had been her favorite food, but it was the thought that counted...

When Cyrus Lahote returns from work later that night his son and the Y/l/n girl are awkwardly situated on his couch— him on his back, snoring, her lying on top of him, face tucked into his neck, also fast asleep. The older man turns off the TV and tosses a blanket over the pair, ascending up the stairs with a smile on his face.

Y/n Y/l/n was trustworthy. She’s always there when Paul is in a rut too big for him to handle...

#paul lahote #paul lahote imagine #paul lahote x reader #twilight wolf pack imagine #twilight wolf pack #twilight fanfiction #eclipse #twilight wolf imagines #embry call #jared cameron #sam uley

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