#also fun fact: tigers are one of my favorite animals
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i'll tell you my sins | b.b.
SUMMARY: If religion was the safe haven where Bucky found reasons to be alive and see the good in this world again, loving you was where he found the freedom to be more than just expectations once again. Human emotion, connection and need more than anything else. Also, devotion. Bucky already understood that one, but with you, it reached heights he never dreamt of before.
⚠️ This work is intended for 18+ audiences. Minors, DNI. Explicit depictions of sex. Religious theme. Smut. I do not allow for my work to be copied, translated, or reuploaded on any other platform. | WC: [7.5k]
Everything about her felt forbidden.
From the moment he met her to the moment they befriended.
Every step of the way, every interaction, smile, deep conversation outside the church, random encounters in the city—Bucky knew it. He was aware of it, and yet, he did it anyway. He fell for the power in your voice, for the mind behind those eyes, for the soft and electrifying touch of your hands. Bucky was presented with temptation and he fought it until he longer wanted to. Until all that was left inside of him was desire, longing, and need. Temptation won, but only because there was no game anymore: Bucky was presented with you in his life, and for the first time in many long years, his life expanded once again.
From the moment Laura brought you to the Church's congregation party for the holidays and introduced you, he knew he should stay away.
It was the eyes.
Laura pointed at you, and said, "Father, this is Y/n, my best friend who I'm always talking about."
He had been polite back then. Bit down on his usual winning smile when meeting new people because something about the glint in your eyes hooked a piece of his chest when they met his.
Bucky had given you the polite smile, and said. "I've heard quite a lot about you. Nice to meet you, I'm Father James."
He extended his hand, which you shook without breaking eye contact.
Then, you said: "Nice to meet you, Father," and Bucky's insides burned despite the cold weather surrounding him.
That day, he couldn't escape fast enough.
You were a friend of one of his congregates, so there was no way he could be rude, but every time he glanced in the direction where you were, talking and smiling with other people who frequented the church, your eyes met his and Bucky felt like a deer caught in the headlines.
An animal in the jungle, like one of his favorite documentaries—he suddenly understood the prey when they felt the eyes of tigers and lions on them.
Frozen.
Bucky's throat felt dry every time you did it. You looked at him over the rim of your cup, and it was like your eyes searched for something, and they could see beyond his cassock and coat.
Whatever you were looking for, Bucky wanted no part in helping you find out.
She'll be gone by the end of the day, he thought all night long. There's no need to worry.
If only he knew.
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ — ✞ —
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It was a fun discovery to learn that while you believed in nothing, you believed in everything at the same time.
It took Bucky three months of meeting you outside the Church when you picked up Laura from the masses and having brief, but sweet exchanges with you to accept the fact that you were a really nice person.
Funny, intelligent, sweet.
He stopped escaping whenever you were around. Stopped running away whenever Laura brought you by force to one of the fairs or events, and surrendered with ease to the reality of it all: apart from your non-belief, you seemed like someone he'd be close friends with.
Which is where you two ended up after he found you drunk at the city square and walked you home.
That was the first conversation ice-breaker. And from then on, Bucky simply accepted you.
Which meant you know popped up outside the church with good beer and the newest thing you were reading about regarding space to talk to him.
For those visits, you usually showed up at the end of the day, after your work hours. You stayed for a couple of hours talking to him about nonsensical things until a real topic was approached and you two shared things that Bucky forgot he thought about sometimes.
"You know, these are starting to feel like my own confessional," he offered.
You chuckled, hiding behind your beer. He still saw the way your nose scrunched. "I don't know if that's supposed to be a compliment or not."
"It is!" He laughed. "Why wouldn't it be?"
"Why wouldn't—Father. C'mon. Those things are creepy as hell."
"First of all: blasphemy. Second of all—stop laughing, I'm serious. That was very blasphemous." He adored listening to your silly laughter. "And second of all: they are not creepy. They're just... methodic."
"Yeah, the method being 'scare people until they talk'. I'll give it to the Church: clever, at least."
He's thinking about that day and the things you said about the hour of Twilight when he hears the doorbell.
Bucky halts everything he's doing.
It couldn't be you.
He looks at the clock—00:52.
Fuck.
What were you doing here?
This week had been hell, both figuratively and literally.
The tragedy that happened in the city and the heartache that followed everyone like a dark cloud ended up inside his church, as darkness usually does. It's where it goes to be diluted, but being the tool of change as he is, Bucky's the one who ends up feeling like a truck ran over his back.
It couldn't be you.
Bucky heard from Laura about how pissed off you were about everything. 'Religious people and their ways of meddling in people's lives and their bodies and their ways of handling life', as you claimed, and everything wrong attached to it.
He hadn't seen you around the city all week long.
"James Buchanan!"
That is definitely your voice.
Bucky swears under his breath, puts on the first hoodie he sees, and doesn't even bother checking on his reflection to know he looks like shit.
He's tipsy and tired, and there's no need to bother putting out his tobacco before he goes downstairs to open the back door for you.
Out of all the people who could see him in this state, you'd be the last one to judge him.
When he opens the door, he sees you're on the same boat as he is.
Tired, and trying to cope.
He sighs, opening the door wider. "Thought you had eloped town by now."
"I unfortunately am stuck to this hell hole."
Turning around, he sees you taking off your boots and placing them on the shoe rack.
"Put on a slipper, it's still wet outside," he tells you. "I was going to bed."
Behind him, he hears the sound of you scoffing. "No, you weren't."
"Yes, I was," he argues.
What follows is silence, and Bucky sighs. You know him too well.
He opens the door that leads to his small herbs garden outside where two chairs are already placed next to each other and waits for you to make yourself at home.
He wonders if it's one of those days.
"You know... you're really nice to talk to, Father James."
He kind of hated when you called him that. It felt teasing. Laced in the taste of wine.
"Do you?"
"I do. You don't shy away from answering questions. People nowadays don't wanna have conversations. It's exhausting. You, though—you... think about it. Answer me. I can talk without feeling like I'm being judged—"
"Oh, sometimes you definitely are."
He likes your laughter. The more it sounds like this—free and caught off guard, the more delicious it is.
"I'll take your word for it. That was just me wanting to thank you for being a nice ear, I guess."
"The same goes for you."
It's becoming more and more common for Bucky to be stuck in a memory of you before reality calls him back to the moment.
The door clicks behind him and he looks over his shoulder to see you holding two beers, a cigarette in one hand, and the tiredness in your shoulders.
Dropping your body to the chair next to his, you hand him the beer and then light up your cigarette.
For a while, all you two do is sit there sharing sips of your drinks and looking at the brick wall ahead of you. Bucky's hyper-aware of you and your movements, as always, and notices from the corner of his eyes when you start distracting yourself with the new flowers in his garden.
It's when he sees a single tear running down your cheek that his body comes alive.
Bucky feels alert in a second.
Sick to his stomach.
He wants to reach out and clean the tear from your cheek, but it wouldn't take away the pain that let it fall.
He waits, though, because he knows you wouldn't be here unless you wanted to talk about it.
Then it hits him—she trusts me.
He has to swallow that pill down with large gulps because it would get stuck in his throat otherwise.
He remembers as clear as day hearing you say how hard it was for you to trust people. To let people in.
"Sometimes, I barely want most people in this town to know I'm a human being. The less they see of me the better, you know? They're just—fucking vultures. Waiting for a sign of weakness to start roaming your body and getting to pick it apart."
Through the sips of his beer, Bucky wonders how many people have seen you cry other than him.
You clear his throat next to him, and all thoughts are vacant from his mind.
He turns his head to you, attention solely focused.
"Did you do a mass?" You ask, voice rough as sandpaper.
You're questioning whether the people who died got a mass this week. Bucky has to breathe through the 'why do you ask, why, but WHY' and simply answers. "I did, yeah."
You nod, sniffle and clear your face in your sleeve. "Cool. That's good."
Bucky feels he'll puke if he doesn't get a little more than that, so he takes a deep breath and reminds himself that he can be brave. "There'll be a lantern reunion at the lake."
You turn to him, eyes red and vulnerable, and Bucky has to grip tighter on the can to stop himself from cleaning your tear-stained cheeks once again. "A what?"
"A lantern reunion. It was Laura's idea, actually," your friend was a blessing to his congregation, and it made Bucky smile a little to think so. "People from the congregation will go in a fortnight to the city lake a little further in the mountains and light up little candles in their names. Push it into the lake as sort of a goodbye and a desire for good passage."
"Into heaven?" you ask, smiling sarcastically.
Bucky's gotten so used to it that it doesn't even rattle him anymore.
"Into anywhere," he answers.
The sarcasm drops from your face like rain does out of nowhere from the sky, and you sigh. "That's nice."
"Is it?"
"It is." You take a sip, and Bucky feels it in his chest the blow before it comes. "Naya would've loved it. Probably reminded her of Tangled or something like that."
The name hits clear as day as part of the list Bucky read on Sunday.
"Was she a friend?" He asks.
You shake your head. "Goddaughter."
Your jawline is sharper than ever before. Razor-sharp. Bucky realizes when he pays attention to more than just your eyes, the usual lovely, deep, and telling eyes, that the rest of your face lacks any of your kindness and softness—you're angry. Properly raging, he imagines.
It's the first time he's seen the emotion on you, and it rattles something in the attics of Bucky's brain.
Ghosts of his past, of guns, violence, and the range that humans could go to.
"Tell me about her," the words fall from his lips, and Bucky feels like prey once more when your eyes snap back to him. "If you want to, of course. I—I'd like to hear it."
For a moment, you only watch him, eyes searching all over his face.
"Why?" You ask.
Bucky shrugs his shoulder, sipping a little more. "Because... offering my condolences won't do any good, although you do have them. And talking about the occurrence serves no purpose, either." Both of those options are weak at best. "Hearing about who your goddaughter was, on the other hand, sounds nice." He wonders how close you two were. Was she the daughter of a best friend? Bucky knew you had no sisters. "D'you have sisters?" He asks to confirm. "I thought you didn't."
The ghost of a real smile appears on your face. "I don't."
"Right."
"She's—was... she was my best friend's daughter. Hugh." The smile turns more real than ghost-like. "He and I have been friends since middle school."
Wow. That's longer than Bucky's been in this town. "That is a long time."
"Not that long, c'mon Father. Don't call me old."
Bucky laughs. "You're not a sweet summer child, that's for sure."
"Wow!" You say, joining him in laughter.
"Your generation is a mystery to me, I'll tell you that."
"Ugh—there you go again with 'your generation'. You're not that much older than me, Father," you give him a pointed look.
Bucky hums. "I beg to differ. There's more than a decade bridging this," he gestures between you and him.
"Fine, old man. Whatever you say," you chuckle, and sip the rest of your beer, crushing the can in your hands. "Anyway. Hugh's not usually here—he works two towns over most of the time."
"Is he married?" He asks out of curiosity.
You shake your head. "Nope. Naya's mom was a fling."
"Got it." From that, he deduced you had a lot to do with the girl while growing up. "Was she a lot like you?"
You laugh. "A mix of Hugh and me, yeah. I spoiled her quite a lot."
Bucky smiles. "Tell me more."
And you do.
Bucky listens to you tell him about Naya, and she comes to life inside his mind.
He saw the picture of everyone involved, but now he can see the glint she had in her eyes, the quirks you mention, the passions in her heart.
He does his best to stay present in the conversation, letting go of any pain related to the tragedy in order to give you a good ear as you mentioned he has.
It hurts almost as much as if he was thinking about it all.
The oscillations in your smile between heartbroken and sad, and heartfelt. He feels the changes like shrapnel under his skin.
After a few more beers, the talk changes every now and then. From kids to raising them without parents, to the dangers surrounding newer generations—like always, talking to you is a rollercoaster of topics, and Bucky thinks he's done a good job of taking your mind out of the dark places it was.
Until you stop, look at the wall in front of you again, and the tears start streaming down again.
Bucky's heart breaks all over the wet ground, getting dirt all over the pieces.
He's closing the distance between your bodies before he thinks better of it.
His arms wrap around your shoulders and you bury your face in his chest, letting go of your pain in the safe space of his arms.
Bucky lets you cry for as long as you need to, and when the quiet sobs diminish to only your sniffling, he still holds you close.
"I feel... like barbed wire. I don't know." Your voice is thick with emotion, and Bucky squeezes around you subconsciously. "There's so much rage inside me, Buck."
"That's okay. It's the normal thing to fill you."
"You wouldn't say that if you knew all the things I'm thinking. I—I'm not the best person ever, but the things I'd do right now..."
Bucky shakes his head. You're human, he thinks. "You're a good person even with those thoughts."
"You don't know that," you argued.
"I do, though," Bucky counters. "All the things you want are a response, not an initiative. That's how I know."
At that, you stay in silence. Bucky feels you moving your head—before, you had your forehead resting against his chest, but now you move your head to the side and lay your cheeks against him, making yourself comfortable.
"You'd judge me, though," your voice is barely above a whisper. "They're horrible things."
Bucky scoffs. "I've done my fair share of horrible things in life, Y/n. I'll never be in any position to truly judge someone else," he tells you.
Then it hits him—I trust her too.
"I don't believe that," you whisper.
"It's the truth." Bucky's past is his own, but he allows you to have this. "I was a tool for a long time, one that did many wrong things. I hardly think that you wanting to kill the people who did this with your bare hands is something so atrocious."
"I'd think you'd judge upon murder, Father."
"Not my place to do so," and if he was being honest with himself, never would be. The things he believed in were symbolic.
"Is this what a confessional feels like?" you ask with a chuckle.
Bucky rests his head on top of yours. "It's the idea."
"I like it. It's not so bad." You take a deep breath, and Bucky feels it.
I like it too, he thinks. Why does it feel mutual?
"D'you want some food?" he asks. He needs something to do with his hands that doesn't involve holding you.
It takes you a moment to answer. "Sure." You pull your head back a few inches to look up at him, and the smile he sees in your eyes takes his breath away. "Thanks, Father."
This feels as holy as any of my prayers.
Bucky feels dizzy.
"Thanks for trusting me," he answers, and then lets you go. His arms feel empty and cold the minute they leave your frame. "C'mon. I'll make us sandwiches."
"That's not food," you argue behind him.
"It is in this house," he rolls his eyes, knowing you're just doing it to tease him. "Ungrateful youth, I swear."
"I'm not being ungrateful, I'm being factual. You know, back during the Roman Empire in Grece, they..."
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The night of grief changes nothing and everything at the same time.
Bucky knew you were a person beneath all the exterior of perfection, but it takes seeing you cry for him to realize why he deemed everything he saw to be that way—he saw beauty even in your imperfections. He met you by chance, befriended you by fate, and because the Universe wrote you and him to be this way, something about your existence read as beautiful from top to bottom. Breathtaking. It never occurred to him that he'd find something else to look at and see unadulterated and raw light, but there you were. Whether it was talking to friends, working, running past him at eight in the morning, or crying in his arms, the aura around you glowed in holy light, and Bucky had only one night of absolute existential crisis before acceptance washed over him.
He might have found his peace in god, but the god he believed in never excluded the Nirvana existing in love.
Accepting things as they were hurt much less.
— ✞ —
Everything about him felt holy.
The whole month you stayed away from him, that's all you could think about.
Bucky felt holy. His blue eyes on you, the gentleness in his words, and the shy cocking of his neck whenever he was under the light of a compliment—holy, holy, holy.
That's why you hated how much you desired to corrupt all the purity within every thought permeated by him.
It made you a little sick at first. Desiring him and still talking to him normally as if you didn't touch yourself to thoughts of Bucky fucking you and stretching you around his cock while filth dripping from his lips was a hard task, but no one could say you were one to shy away from a challenge.
All of that goes away when he cooks for you.
The shame in wanting him.
From that day on, you allow your mind to drift wherever it pleases.
To his words, his eyes, his lips, the feeling of how strong his arms were — how did I miss that, what is that damn black thing hiding, why does it feel so warm and firm, oh my god — and anything in between. His voice. The way he curses under his breath as if Jesus is not listening if he talks low enough. How much lower his voice can go.
Letting all those thoughts roam free is both a blessing and a curse.
When you see him the day following a dream where Bucky did all the things your mind wanted him to and a bit more, you realize where the curse part walks in.
It's hard looking him in the eye when you have vivid images of his hand gripping your neck. It's sad that all you have is images, but they're more than enough to make you take a step back every now and then.
You can't get wet if you don't get a whiff of his perfume.
Can't feel embarrassed and hot all over if he doesn't make one of his silly jokes under his breath.
It takes you a few weeks of escaping him here and there before you receive it, at 11:50 pm on a Monday night:
What would you say if I told you I need my confessional bubble?
The message stares at you, and you stare back.
The feeling of his hug around you comes to you like the scent of someone being dragged by the wind.
Where are you?
The church. I was organizing some stuff. Come over?
Not one to say no to him, you drive there with your heart beating in your palms and the familiar knot on your throat of someone haunted by their own thoughts.
At the church, you find Bucky with a glass in his hands and all the pictures and remains of the shrines packed in one corner.
"Evening, Father."
Bucky turns around sharply, and you see that he's not drunk nor tipsy yet. His look is sober, and his eyes lighten in color when they see you.
"Hey." He points to the stuff on the floor. "I'm gonna put this in the back. I'll be back in a minute—you're very fast. How fast did you drive?"
Probably too fast because I was anxious. "Maybe you're just slow, Father James."
Bucky's eyes narrow, and your mind goes oh-oh. He looks at you with narrowing eyes, but then the mirth is back on his face. "Ha ha." He picks up the boxes. "I'll be back."
"Won't I burn in your absence?" You call after him, trying to contain your smile.
Bucky looks over his shoulder just so you can see him rolling his eyes.
You chuckle. Was there even a need to be nervous?
This is Bucky.
James. Father James. He's a good guy, and a great friend, and a pretty funny person for someone who is so mysterious.
In his absence, you start walking aimlessly through the church.
You're here very rarely. Paying attention to the details of it is not the first thing in your mind but, with nothing to do, you notice all the beauty in the place: the colorful glasses, how polished and shiny the wood benches and every other wood surface looks, and then it catches your eyes.
On the far right corner, close to the altar, there it is.
The confessional.
You're walking to it before you notice what you're doing.
It's bigger than you expected.
Your hand comes up to touch the wood and its patterns—the velvet drape which closes one of the sides is blood red, and you raise both eyebrows at it.
Gorgeous.
The other side is closed with a wooden door, though. You imagine it's where the priest enters, and because you're friends with the one who runs this church, you let yourself in.
The space is big enough to fit two adults if they're squeezed close together.
You take a seat, looking over the side where you can see very little from the open spots in the wood.
Then, you hear his footsteps coming back out there.
"Y/n?" He calls out, sounding confused.
You think about coming out, but then...
Confessional bubble.
You open the door minimally, put only your hand outside, and wave. "Here," you singsong.
There's a second of silence in which you wonder if Bucky is genuinely offended for the first time about something you're doing, but then you hear his laughter approaching.
You hear his body passing through the drapes and sitting next to you.
"Not where I'd expect to find you," he says from the other side.
It's with the first sentence that you realize what a terrible, miscalculated, poor idea this was.
Your senses go from 0 to 100 in a second. They're all tunneled to his voice, and you can smell his perfume permeating the small space.
"Y/n?"
"I was curious," you answer. Your voice is low, and you swallow down the nervousness. It should be fine. What could go wrong? "Plus... this seems like a cool bubble."
"I told you it was, you never trusted me in that," he answers.
You chuckle. "I didn't know about all the velvet." And the stripping of your senses. God, I feel dizzy.
"It's charming, isn't it?"
You are, your traitorous mind replies. "Yup." You take a deep through your mouth and let it out slowly. "What was in your mind, young padawan?"
Bucky laughs. "Wrong religion."
"Right, my bad—what's in your mind, my sheep?"
"You're not so bad at this."
"And you're great at deflecting," you bite back, smiling already. Your body relaxes on its seat, and you start picking on your t-shirt. "I thought you wanted to talk."
"I did." Bucky hums. "Didn't think you wanted to, though."
What? "What?"
"I was gonna ask you to go grab a bite with me so I could hear how you've been doing these past couple of weeks. I haven't seen much of you," his voice sounds a little small, and you hate yourself for a second. "I imagine you're busy."
Does trying to get rid of thoughts of your naked count as busy?
You bite your bottom lip nervously. "Not that busy," you reply. "Just... processing."
"Right. I thought about that too," he says. Bucky takes a deep breath and you can hear that too. "I just... missed your company."
You smile at that. "Awn. Thanks, Buck. I missed you too."
"Did you?"
"Of course," you say. "You know I like your company better than most. More than, like, 99% of this town, for sure."
"I'm flattered," he chuckles. "I thought I did something wrong, that's all. I—you'd tell me if I had, right?"
That ties knots inside your brain. Your neurons seem to clash with each other, and you look from side to side trying to find out if that was a joke.
"What could you possibly have done to me?" You ask with laughter.
"Dunno." Bucky seems to be thinking, so you wait. "I can be annoying sometimes."
"Have you met me?"
He laughs again. "You're peculiar."
"Most people go for 'annoying'."
"Most people are pussies," he replies back so quickly that you burst out laughing.
"Father James!" You tell him in a reprehending tone. "This is not the place for such language."
"I think you'll find out that we're in the only place of holy grounds where you can say whatever the fuck you want," he chuckles.
"Is that so?"
You can almost see him shrugging his shoulders. "It's how I always felt."
"Cool. This is the blind spot, then?"
"Exactly." Bucky seems to be tapping on the wood, and you recognize his nervous tick. "Maybe you can use the blind spot to tell me why you've been avoiding me, then."
Shit.
The silence is as much of a confession as you trying to play it dumb would be.
"Y/n..."
You hate how he makes your name sounds like a plea.
"You didn't do anything wrong," you tell him. "I swear."
There's a heartbeat of silence, and Bucky seems to believe you. "Okay." The sound of a thud tells you he rested his head against the wall at the back, and you do the same. "So... did something happen? To you, I mean."
Yeah, you did.
Thinking that's not the reply he wants, you hum thoughtfully. "I'm... trying to work with life's limitations."
There's another moment of quiet, and then Bucky snorts. "That was vague as shit, Y/n."
"It's the truth!" you laugh.
"I know it is, but it doesn't explain anything," he counters. "What limitations?"
How do I answer this? How do I tell him it's him without putting him under the spotlight? I don't wanna lose you, Bucky. I like what we have. I like this.
You like him.
"No judgments. Remember?" He asks.
Fuck. Fine, here goes nothing, you think. "I... have been thinking a lot. About someone. In ways that I'm not sure this person would want me to."
Out of all the silences, this is the heaviest one.
You hear him breathing in deep, and it feels like his body has strings attached to yours.
"You're insecure about having... feelings for this person?" His voice is rough. Carefully curated out of any emotions.
You realize you're speaking to Father James rather than Bucky.
"Kinda," you reply, surprised that you don't care about the switch in roles.
"Why would they be bothered?"
The million-dollar questions.
Your palms are sweating. Your body has the low humming of when blood is pumping everywhere at a higher speed, and all the anxiety you had when you first saw his message rushes back.
"'Cause I'm pretty sure they'd view it as... something bad," you reply.
"Feelings are never bad."
"No?"
"No. They're natural. The person might not want them, but if they view them as bad, that means they're not worthy of it."
"No—what I meant is—maybe they would feel bad about being on the receiving end of it."
"Again, that makes no sense. Why would they be offended by it?"
"I don't know. 'Cause they don't want me?"
"That's their loss. Still doesn't mean your feelings are bad. They could be unreciprocated, but never bad."
"Maybe that's what I'm scared of," you confess. Fuck, this thing works. "I don't wanna face the fact that it could never be mutual."
"That is scary," he whispers. You still hear it.
"Yeah."
"You'll never know, though. Unless you tell them, you can't know if it is or not."
You laugh, humorlessly. "I don't think I need to. Not for this."
"Why not?" asks Bucky.
"Because the chances of him wanting me or anything are slim to none."
"I find that hard to be true, Y/n."
"What percentage of priests lead a personal life outside their calling, Father James?"
The question comes out breathless and it finishes the job of setting your body on fire.
On the other side, the silence is deafening. You can't see him, but your mind paints the picture easily: Bucky standing there, frozen in his spot as the realization dawns on him.
Then, his reply comes and what was left of your body turns to dust.
"A low percentage. But some of us do."
You have to bite your bottom lip to swallow a whine. His name still comes out. "Bucky."
"You've been thinking about me all this time and you thought I would be upset about it?" He sounds breathless. Your body is not only alive now, but it's also starting to respond to the drop in his voice.
"They're not very holy thoughts," you chuckle humorlessly.
"Tell me."
Two words and your legs constrict against one another. Your core feels like a furnace, heating up more and more by the second.
"I... are you serious?"
"Very." Bucky sounds as affected as you. "Tell me what thoughts were so bad they drove you away from me."
"I... I had dreams." You want to touch yourself so badly that you start squirming in your seat. "About you."
All he does is hum in reply.
"You kissed me. And then... you told me I was going to accept all that you wanted to give me. And I said yes. So you started to get... more—of me. You took off my clothes. And said you needed to let out some... steam. To let out some things that have been inside of you."
There, your words were cut short.
The images of Bucky kneeling in front of you and eating you out like he never had a meal before in his life.
"Go on," his voice breaks through the smoke.
It sounds like an order.
Your body shudders, and you try to grip on reality before the dreams take over. "You ate me out." The whisper sounds louder than any of his sermons you had the pleasure of hearing. "And..." I can't say it. I can't. You can feel the wetness dripping to your panties, and you have to sit on top of your hands to stop them from starting to roam your body.
"Finish it."
Where did he learn to command people like that?
"I asked to do the same." How could you not? All you wanted was to choke on the weight of Bucky on your tongue. "And then you fucked me. Slowly. And... kept telling me about how long it had been. How good it felt to stretch me out." Why am I going into details? You whimper. "Bucky."
"Is that why you were away? You dreamt about me being inside of you and that's it—your brain stopped working around me?"
"I got off to those dreams too many times to not think about them when I saw you."
"Fuck." Bucky must move next to you because you hear the sound of his clothes ruffling. "You touched yourself thinking about them?"
"Yeah."
You hear his breath intake, and the next sound drops your heart to your feet.
Bucky gets up, the drapes ruffle and then, the door of the confessional is opening.
The sight of Bucky standing tall over you with his black t-shirt tucked inside his pants and the tent of his dick straining against his slacks makes your mouth dry before it starts to water.
"Show me," says Bucky. Then he drops to his knees in front of you, reaches both hands to your knees, and places them there. He looks up into your eyes to ask, "Can I?" and you nod, dumbly and shaking, as Bucky spreads your knees open. You're wearing loose pants, and his hands go further up to their hem so he can pull them down.
Allowing him to leave you in nothing but your panties feels like a fever dream.
With your pants pooling in your ankles, Bucky lets hands drag on the skin of your legs and thighs.
"You're right," he says. "It's been years." His hands reach your waist, and your shaking comes to a halt with the firmness that they touch your pelvis bones. "And yet, I think I've thought more about pleasure and connection these past months than I did my whole life." Bucky moves his body closer until he's nestled between your legs, and when his head inches closer to your cunt you realize what he's about to do, whining at the thought. "I dreamt about this, too."
He presses his nose on the hood of your pussy, inhaling deeply and making your legs turn from solid to liquid.
Bucky runs his nose there, and when he hums against your core, you feel it inside of you. "You smell so fucking good, dove."
"Oh, god."
Bucky gropes your ass and shakes his head. "No. Forgot my name already?"
"James, please. Please," you whine, your legs coming up to his shoulders.
He lets you, helping your legs to secure around his neck, and when you look down and see he's smiling, you know you're fucked.
"It's been a while, so let me take my time. I think I still remember how to do this," Bucky says.
Then, he pushes your panties to the side and groans out loud.
"So fucking wet for me. Shit." He pushes his nose again, getting it wet with your slick. "Fuck," he dives in.
Bucky's tongue gives gentle licks against your clit, as if savoring it first.
When he feels your legs spreading wider and he has more room to work with, he truly starts his job. His tongue licks on your folds, then dips from the bottom all the way up, licking a stripe across your cunt before his mouth attaches itself to your clit.
Bucky sucks on the hard nub with his tongue, alternating between slow and hard-pressured jabs to quick flicks of his tongue from side to side.
Your hands are covering your mouth to stop the screams from coming out.
He slurps on the slick and the more the works his tongue on your clit and then pushes down to your open cunt, the wetter you get.
Time ceases to exist with Bucky knelt between your legs.
He goes slow, then fast, then very slow just to hear your whines getting louder. He laughs in your pussy, and the vibrations crawl up inside of you.
At one point he looks up and with a hard grope on the back of your thighs gets your attention on him again.
His beard is glistening, wet. He's smiling like he's seeing something funny for the first time in ages, and when he asks, "Do you like penetration?" as if he doesn't know the answer, you feel like crying.
"Please."
He takes pity on you. "It's okay, dove." Bucky's right hand leaves your legs and his fingers join his mouth between your legs. He coats his fingers in your slick before he pushes the middle one all the way in, slowly at first, then he removes it all the way and pushes back in with his tongue.
"Bucky!"
"Hmhm," he hums against your pussy. "Is this what you dreamt of, dove?" He asks before latching onto you again and sucking on your clit like it's a lollipop.
The coil in your lower stomach seems like a rubber band ready to snap, but you need more.
"Bucky. Bucky," you call.
"Hm?"
"I wanna cum with you inside me. Please?"
Bucky's hand squeezes involuntarily on your leg. He looks up and kisses your inner thigh. "You do?"
"Please."
"Will you let me take you for a bite afterward since I couldn't help myself and I'm doing everything backward?" He asks, already getting up.
You nod a bit desperately. "I'll let you bite anything, just—please."
He laughs. "Get up."
You do, and it's a tight squeeze to switch places with him, but you two manage. Bucky sits on the place you sat and unbuttons his pants, pulling out his cock from the confine of his briefs.
You step out of your pants and sit on his lap, trying to keep all the feelings daring to pool out inside while you feel like everything about you is already stripped bare in front of him.
"You sure you want this, yeah?" I asked.
At that moment, Bucky pulls you close by his waist. It's almost easy (keyword being almost) to ignore the outline of his hard cock between your legs when he's holding your face like this.
There's barely any light illuminating the inside of the confessional, but there is enough for you to see him glowing. Glistening. Smiling like he's watching something unfold.
He holds your face in his hand and pulls you in for a kiss.
I hadn't kissed him yet.
Bucky kisses you with slow, soft tenderness at first.
It's almost his way of saying he means everything—he means this, and he means what he said about being a part of the cleric who still allows themselves to have a life outside their work.
When his tongue opens up your mouth sinfully, that's when you feel him twitch underneath you.
His arm around your waist pulls you even closer, and you get him. You'd want to merge with him right now if you could.
"Put me inside you," he pulls back his face only a few inches to say those words, then dives in for another kiss.
Your mind is too dizzy with everything that is James to do anything but obey.
You reach beneath you to hold his cock in your hands and guide it to your entrance.
Perhaps you should care that none of you discussed the important things you should have before you let him inside you, raw and deep like this, but all you want is this:
Feeling him stretch you out.
When his tips fit and you can let go, both of you groan at the same time. He's big.
He's thick, and he's leaking, and when the tip pushes in, gliding easy with how wet you are, you have to pull back from his kiss so you can breathe.
Bucky groans louder and hides his face in the crook of your shoulder.
"You're big," you whisper, sliding down further until he's bottomed out. "Oh my..." can't call out for Jesus, but you're still shaking and finding a new reason to worship right there and then. You might be drunk on desire, or drunk on how high Bucky made you by eating you out, or how close you were to cumming before he made you get up. Maybe all of the above. "Father James—feels so good."
The slap comes as a surprise, but the sting and your scream are both pleasurable.
"Don't call me that again," he growls. He bites your neck, and moves his hip for the first time.
"Why not," you whine. It feels so good. You feel so full. "Feel so full, Bucky."
"I know, dove." He bucks his hip upwards, thrusting deep and slow. "You're so fucking tight," his voice is strained, and you pull his face back to yours, cupping his neck. With his eyes on yours, Bucky's face softens. "Feels good?" He asks with another pointed thurst.
You nod, riding him in the same rhythm as his thrusts. "Hmhm."
"You look beautiful on top of me," he mutters, kissing your chin, you cheeks, and your eyelids, each kiss pointed with another deep thrust.
"We're gonna do this again, right?"
Bucky hums, and thrusts harder. FUCK.
"Ah, there it is," he mutters, as if talking to himself. "Was looking for that." He thrusts again, confirming to see if he's found your g spot. The way you clench and moan his name is enough of an answer. "We'll do this many more times. I just—need—fuck, need to do this proper." Bucky pins your hips in place and takes over the movements. "Shouldn't be fucking you, dove. Not here, not like this."
"I'm so fucking wet, Buck," you cry. "You wouldn't let me go home to get off thinkin'—oh—about you—fuck, right there;"
"I wouldn't?"
"Bucky." It's louder than before. Both a moan and a prayer.
His thrusts become more erratic, and Bucky's own moans and prayers start sounding much like yours.
So tight, dove. Fucking made for me. Stop clenching your pussy, Y/n, fuck. I'm gonna fill you up, d'you want that? Hm?
"Don't pull out," you whine.
"No?"
"No." You shake your head. He should, your mind says. I don't care, your body responds, hips going harder to meet his harsh thrusts.
"Want to feel me leaking out of you?"
Fucking hell. Where was this holy mouth hidden? "Yes!"
"Say it," Bucky's grunting, and his forehead is sparkling with sweat, and you feel the sweat dripping down your back.
"Wanna feel you dripping out of me, Buck."
"Fucking—Y/n, I'm gonna cum. Are you close, dove?" He holds you by the neck, and brings your mouth to his. "Tell me how to make you cum. Tell me."
"Hard. Deep."
Bucky's a good listener anywhere. He pins your hip in one place, buries himself as deep as he can go inside of you and mutters about how good it is to feel your cunt stretching out around his cock, then pistons his hips in place just like that, hitting that spot inside of you so mercilessly that you're excused to scream as much as you do.
When you yell that you're gonna cum, all he says is, "Please. Please, dove. Show me. Cum for me. Cum only for me, Y/n."
With another scream that leaves your throat aching, you feel your walls convulsing and your legs shaking as an orgasm knocks you out.
Bucky cums by muffling his own screams in your neck, and you feel the warmth of him spilling inside of you.
If there were any ways for you to not surrender and devote to him, they're all burned and gone.
This feels like the beginning of all things holy for you.
part two →
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For a long-last friendship. | Aaron Hotchner x FemaleReader
For a long-last friendship. | Aaron Hotchner x FemaleReader
Masterlist
Summary | Aaron wants to make it up to Jack, so they go to the zoo. Not expecting to end up having a fun day with his team agent. (Inspired by the Prompt go to the zoo and point out the coolest animals by @creativepromptsforwriting )
Word Count | 1878. (I got carried away for a Prompt)
Warnings | I don’t think there’s any warning, if you found something triggering, please let me know.
Side Note: I don’t own any of Criminal Minds characters, words, or narrative. This is only a reinterpretation and fiction based on the Criminal Minds Universe they continue to develop. Also no repost is allowed. If you ever see this on another website, please let me know.
After one of the most exhausting and longest cases he had this year, Aaron needed to make it up to Jack.
Being apart from his son was difficult, specially when he was supposed to be the main care giver. Jack had spent the last two weeks with his aunt Jessica. He made a promise to spend every single free moment he had, to devote quality with him.
Jack was becoming a happy and curious kid again. He was in his animal phase; his new favorite animal were lions. In school, he was learning about them. Jack asked him weeks ago to go to the zoo.
Being the first whole free weekend, he had in months, he needed a little more sleep than normal. As a consequence, now they were late and the line for the tickets was longer than he expected. Jack was excitedly talking about some animal facts he learned with his aunt Jessica.
“Hotch?” Someone said by his side, by reflect he took Jack’s hand. He turned around to see Y/N, one of his team agents.
“Y/LN?” He said surprise to see her there on her free day.
“You can call me Y/N, we are not working.” She said smiling.
“Who is she, daddy?” Jack asked getting behind Aaron.
“You must be Jack, isn’t it?” She said getting down to match his height. “Nice to finally meet you, I’m Y/N. I work with your dad.” She extended her arm to greet him.
Jack looked up to his dad, Aaron just nod.
“Nice to meet you Y/N.” Jack shyly said taking her hand.
“You have been here for a long time?” Y/N asked them, she was by their side, outside the line.
“The line it’s taking longer than we expected.” Aaron said while looking to his son.
“We planned to get earlier, but daddy got glued to his pillow.” Jack said, joking while looking up to his father. Aaron could feel his face getting warm.
“Have you considered he may be a tiger?” Y/N asked Jack.
“A tiger?” Jack was getting interested in the conversation.
“Yep, did you know they sleep up to 16 hours a day?” She added.
“Tigers sleep that much?” Aaron didn’t know his agent knew animal facts.
“Yes, they are also nocturnal animals, maybe he stayed up at night. Probably working on the papers for the last case we had.” She told Jack. “Have you seen him up at night?”
“No, I’m always asleep when he arrives home, “Jack told her in low voice. “He may be a tiger.” Looking suspicious to his dad.
“We can get faster over there; I have a members card.” She said while taking her pass.
“It’s not necessary Y/N, we can wait, isn’t it Jack?” He didn’t want to interfere with the free day of his team member.
“But it’s taking centuries Dad!” Jack growled.
“No worries, I come a lot, so I have some free passes. Let’s go!” She said, while guiding them through the main entrance.
They went through security, and Jack was waiting for his dad to come closer to finally take his hand.
“Awww! You are like otters.” She said to Jack. “Otters hold hands so they don’t float afar from each other, well they do that while sleeping, but it’s really wise of you keep your dad near Jack.” She said Smiling.
“Did you know they swim really fast? I can do that too! You remember dad, I’m the fastest in my swimming class!” he said taking both, Aaron and Y/N by their hands.
“Yes buddy, you are the fastest!” Aaron says proudly. “Thanks again Y/N, you didn’t have to use your passes on us.”
“Oh, its fine Hotch, you always invite the meals when we are out, let me invite you this. And I’m with the fastest swimmer in town, it’s an honor” She smiled.
Jack pulls his dad down, and started to whisper something to him.
“Jack the Otter wants to know if you would like to spend the day with us? If you don’t mind.” He asked, if his son was feeling happy today, he was willing to make him as happy as possible.
“That would be lovely! Of course, thanks for including me in your plans Jack.” She said beam back to the Hotchners.
They started to walk to main map of the zoo. Jack had a plan of the first animal they should explore.
“Have you been to this zoo before, Jack?” Y/N asked him, while he approach the map, looking carefully.
“Nop, it’s our first time here.” He said exited. “You know it really well?”
“Kinda, I know where the animals are, but its really big. So, we are going to stick together like the Beluga Whales, ok?” She told to the little kid.
“Beluga Whales?” Aaron asked her.
“Yes, they travel in pods.” She said to him.
“What’s a pod, dad?” Jack question his dad.
“It means, they travel in groups Jack.” Explained Aaron.
“That’s why you need to keep close to your dad Jack.” Y/N look down to Jack. “They are also known to have last long friendships, most of the times they spend their whole life with their pods.” She said smiling to Jack.
They started the journey. Jack and Y/N started talking non stop about the animals they where watching, Aaron was just amused by the facts both of his pod where saying.
“Why do you know a lot about animals, Y/N?”
“When I was younger my Godparents where zoologist and they used to work at the zoo, so I spent a lot of time of my childhood and teens there. I loved it! My parents always gifted me animals’ toys, specially plushies, they still send me some.”
“Really? You still collect them?” He was speechless, at this moment of his young life, he just wanted to know about all about animals.
“Yes, I just bought this tiny crocodile and just saw a Beluga Whale plush at the gift store, but maybe another time…” She said while showing the tiny plushie on her backpack. “Whenever you want, I can show you my collection, I have some at my apartment.” She spoke.
“You can also come to our house, right dad?” Aaron just nod, smiling to his son. “I’m starting my own collection; I have 20 animals so far!”
“Wow! That’s a lot of them.” She said while getting close to the aquarium part of the zoo.
The main animal on the aquarium exhibition was the Octopus.
Jack started to asked if she new any facts about them, she started to answer. Once in front the tank, Aaron got the chance to say his fun fact.
“Now the Octopuses are becoming friends?” Aaron said while looking at them.
“We are not octopuses daddy; we are Beluga Whales.” Jack said while laughing.
“Octopuses collect shells with their eight tentacles buddy, both of you collect plushies.” He said smiling, he was mesmerized at how Y/N and Jack were getting along.
“It’s that truth, Y/N?” Its not that Jack didn’t trust his dad facts, but at this moment he knew Y/N was an expert.
“He is right Jack, but mostly shiny things, they like to decorate their homes.” She told him.
“I think Y/N its an octopus.” Hotch told to Jack.
“Why so Hotch?” She asked her boss.
“Your desk its full of tiny toys, shiny post its, postcards, and I can swear there’s a photo of you with a baby alpaca, your keys are full of keychains from almost every city we have been on a case. You always travel with a small pink hippopotamus plush, and try to get a plush every time you see one, I didn’t realize it was for your collection. Still…” He couldn’t continue because she started to talk over him.
“You are profiling me?” She said amazed at the tiny details her boss had taken notes about her.
“It’s not profiling, I just know my pack.” He said smiling.
“A pack?” Jack looked up to his dad.
Y/N was amazed with this new side she got to know about her boss, always so serious and professional being chill outside the field. She had seen him laugh and smile before, even getting drinks with the team after cases, but never seen him so carefree.
“Jack, I think your dad may be a lion…” Once again, she was designating animals.
“A lion?” Aaron asked her,
“Why a lion?” Jack was getting curious.
“Well, he is an amazing leader. When we are out catching the bad guys, he always come with a great strategy and always listen to our ideas. He always tells us what to do, some times he can be bossy, “she started to laugh at the smirk on his face, now she was profiling him, “but it’s always to keep us safe. Sometimes he intimidates me…” She said joking with Jack.
“Why my daddy scares you?” Jack asked amused of watching his dad with growing smile.
“It’s not that he scares me, but he is kinda serious, with that stern look, when he’s angry at someone that it’s treating us bad, but that’s a quality of the lions. It demonstrates his discipline and authority as the Unit Chief.” She finished. It was a long time since he was profiled.
“That means I’m a lion, daddy! Just like you!” He exclaimed exited, that his dad had the qualities of his favorite animal.
They kept walking through the zoo, Aaron decided to join with the fun facts he knew about animals. But he was impressed with the amount of information Y/N kept in her brain about them. She was like an encyclopedia.
When the day was over, they separated ways.
Jack made Y/N promised to keep in touch, so they could keep talking about animals and to hang out in the near future. Aaron was happy with the new friend his son and him just made.
They learned more about animals from Y/N than from the zoo charts, so they decided to get their new friend a gift.
------
Next Monday, Aaron was the first to arrive to the office. He had the well deserve peaceful weekend having fun with his son and surprising with Y/N. He had only known her on the field, a smart and excellent agent. He didn’t get enough time to spend knowing his team, and he was grateful by knowing another side from her.
Strategically placed on her desk a Beluga Whale Plushie and a drawing of three Beluga Whales. A big one, a medium one and a small one, they were holding fins and with Jack’s handwriting.
“For a long-last friendship.”
-Jack and Aaron :)
He couldn’t wait for her to arrive. He knew for a fact, that she was going to like it.
She arrived to the office, and staid speechless.
Her smile could light whole Quantico, Virginia.
She turned around looking for him, until she spotted him looking at her from his office, smiling. His agent just whispered a “Thank you dear friend.”
She added the new piece of art to her board, while hugging the new member of her collection.
She was overjoyed.
He was glad his new friend liked the gift. And he did hope, their new friendship last long.
Autor’s Note: Hello Again! I normally don’t write stuff, I just read/comment/reblog fanfics, but now I’m in my Criminal Minds Era, so it’s my first prompt I ever write! It’s being a year since I posted an original fanfic, I hope you like it!
If any of the authors I read ever read this, to let you know I always go as anon (thanks that this is my side blog) and I always sign as
-MD💜 or -MDanon027💜 (@mdanon027). Thanks for the inspiration!
Also, please be honest if you like it or nah. Any comment will help for future personal writing skills. And if you see any misspelling, I’m sorry, I already reread it several times, and English it’s not my first language. Please don’t mind on telling me to correct anything.
Special thanks to some of the plushies I keep buying every time I got to the zoo/aquarium.
#Aaron Hotchner Fluff#Aaron Hotchner x reader#Aaron Hotchner x y/n#Aaron Hotchner x you#Aaron Hotchner imagine#Aaron Hotchner One Shot#Aaron Hotchner#Aaron Hotchner Prompt#Aaron Hotch#Criminal Minds Fluff#Criminal Minds x reader#Criminal Minds x y/n#Criminal Minds x you#Criminal Minds imagine#Criminal Minds One Shot#Criminal Minds Prompt#Criminal Minds#BAU#BAU Reader#fanfic#fanfiction#reader insert#fluff#Prompt
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5 6 7 FOR Cooper, Rin, Xi and the twins are PULLING on my hair demanding Talesin as well
OHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOOOOO EXCELLENT
This is going to get a bit lengthy so my apologies in advance, I'm going to be putting this under a read more cut.
Additionally! If some of you are looking at the name "Talesin" and wondering which of my OCs that is, I've not talked about them on here yet but Talesin is a nextgen OC for Kalim and my boy Copper. The biggest reason I've been mum about him on here is because, quite frankly, @blithesharem is the only person who can apparently coax Talesin into talking. He refuses to offer me anything to work with otherwise, and I only just recently figured out some things about him, again because Blithe and I had been chatting in DMs and it knocked something loose. (I did find out at least one other thing about him today thanks to a prompt from @inmateofthemind but that actually came from Copper, Talesin didn't tell me himself.) He's an elusive little scamp and I love him but boy is he hard to pin down.
5) Any animals you most associate with your OC?
Copper Benoit- ignoring the low-hanging fruit of Copper's unusual animal companions, I associate him with dogs. While you could say it's because Floyd's nickname for him is "Sea Dog", it's also due to the fact a lot of other people have said he's got the energy of a sad, lonely puppy. And I would say that's fairly accurate, especially at the start of his story. (And he probably grows up into the kind of dog that you'd love to have around but definitely don't want to get on the wrong side of.)
Wei Renqiao- Perhaps this is cheating but I associate him with phoenixes. His Signature Spell/Unique Magic, "Revenant Warlord", allows Ren to revive after he's died or been killed somehow. There are certain circumstances in which he can be perma-killed, sure, the magic has its limitations, but typically speaking it would be near-impossible to permanently kill him. And his body heals rapidly when he revives, so I've always seen him as a phoenix since I was first conceptualizing him.
Wei Xinyi- This one might seem a little odd, since Xinyi is an extrovert at heart, but I tend to see them as a tiger. Because we do tend to see more and more videos of tigers being playful or fun, and there are absolutely some endearing moments of tigers that are brothers being silly, but they're still tigers. And I think that's a fairly good rule of thumb for Xinyi: they come across as extremely playful, lighthearted, and affectionate with those close to them, but don't think for a second that's all there is to them.
Talesin- a ring-tailed lemur, apparently. It just fits.
6) Any flowers you associate with your OC?
BITCH FLOWER SYMBOLISM IS MY DAMN LIFEBLOOD
Copper- Blue iris. They symbolize hope and faith, both integral parts of where Copper's story begins, and they also symbolize mystery, which is appropriate to his heritage going unknown for so long (as well as how well he keeps his unique magic hidden.) The color fitting so well with him eventually ending up in Pomefiore is a nice little bonus!
Ren- Lotus, for its meanings of rebirth and regeneration. Emilia, for creativity. Periwinkle, for intellect and mental capability. And forget-me-nots, for fidelity, faithful love, resilience and memory.
Xinyi- it feels fitting that, as a Mulan expy, at least one of the flowers I associate with them the most is pink magnolias, for innocence, youth, joy, femininity and romance. Also sweet William for masculinity, gallantry and courage.
Talesin- Anthurium, for hospitality, and freesia, for joy and friendship. And rhododendron, for danger and a need for caution.
7) Does your OC have a favorite and least favorite food?
Copper- I don't know if he has a least favorite food, but his favorite foods are all fairly spicy. He's not the pickiest eater and I don't think he has a single favorite.
Ren- "Ants climbing a tree", if we're going for food from his culture. It's mung bean vermicelli noodles stir fried with minced meat and sprinkled with scallions. It's been his favorite since childhood and nobody makes it like his mother does! He's also extremely fond of red bean bread and he often bakes it himself! Not sure what his favorite dish is from other cultures, but I can tell you his least favorite food is anything with duck in it. Don't ask why, I don't know, he just doesn't like duck.
Xinyi- This one is interesting, because Xinyi loves cross-cultural exchange and a big, big part of that for them is other foods! They have a running list and their fave foods are subject to change, but (presently based on what they tell me) they love chocolate-covered strawberries, chili-cheese fries, and cheesy potato soup served in bread bowls. (A-Xin, did you go to a festival or something and not tell me.) Atm they don't have a least favorite food.
Talesin- His dad got him hooked on gumbo and cornbread, his baba got him hooked on lamb and rice, and Uncle Jamil got him hooked on beef curry. He also REALLY loves waffles. He immensely dislikes any dishes made with shellfish but he'll tolerate them (with a lot of dramatics) if he absolutely has to.
—————
Taglist: @ramshacklerumble @simons-twsted-children @tixdixl @elenauaurs @rainesol @distant-velleity @theleechyskrunkly @thehollowwriter (let me know if you want to be added to the taglist for my TWST OCs!)
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As an undiagnosed autistic I LOVE talking about my random interests with people and vice versa. So here's what I think the Touchstarved LIs random interests are 😊
Kuras:
Astronomy/ Astrology
assuming that he really is an ancient Angel he probably had a hand in or watched the universe being made so it still fascinates him how it has developed over the centuries
especially what humans have discovered about it
also the meanings they've given to constellations and other parts of the cosmos in tradition and folklore
it's all intriguing and quite amusing to him
he knows all the LIs zodiac signs as well as his regular patients
would sneer and say ' of course you're a Leo ' without any other context and just walk away in that swift angelic manor that he does
has a vintage telescope that he refuses to replace
if you indulge him long enough and let him ramble on about stars he'll stop and be like ' Wait I could just show you'
hope you're not afraid of heights
Leander:
Plants
especially the poisonous kind
he finds them poetic in a sense because of Co he does
like to have a small journal about them and wishes eridia had more nature for him to explore and document
sketches flowers when he has free time and might even color them
he's not the most skilled artist but he good at drawing plant life because he's done it so often
knows the meaning of plants and makes/ buys bouquets accordingly
hints at how he really feels about the person he's giving a bouquet to
has given ones with negative meanings to people he didn't like but needed something from, he knew they wouldn't understand and would just be like "oh a bouquet how thoughtful" " yes this was made especially for you " *wink wink*
has admired the gardens of high town snobs him and his bloodhounds have raided interacted with ( he'll take a few home just because )
is learning how to make teas, medicine, poison and lotions from plants for the fun of it and to help others
wants to have a large garden one day
Mhin:
Fungus/ Mushrooms
they just think they're neat
like how could you not there's so many cool kinds of fungus
they adore that such life can grow from death
will rarely pick mushrooms because they want them to stay where they belong
doesn't want to separate them from their fungi families 🥺
really REALLY likes cool colored fungi that glow
I imagine magical fungi exists in their world so they get really excited when they find some in the wild
they go crazy for those really big mushrooms and will stare at them for hours if they could
has dreamed of sleeping on a mushroom many times like a little fairy but won't tell ANYONE ( ok except Kuras but they didn't mean to, got really embarrassed )
if you gift them a glowing magic mushroom to keep as a nightlight they'll act unfased at first but congratulations you're basically married now
Vere:
Gemstones
eyes dilate like a cat when he sees one
oooo shiny
has stolen found more than he's bought
has a mini hoard of stones stashed away somewhere in his room
he only shows it to people he really likes ( Ais and S/o )
Ais' earrings intrigues him
Ais noticed and took them off so he could see and was more than willing to talk about where he got them
Vere knew exactly what they were made of right away and wanted to tral them as his own to mess with Ais, but lost interest when Ais admitted he wouldn't mind
would lay on a giant pile of gemstones like a dragon's hoard in his full demon fox form if he had the means to ( would put his S/O in the pile too as one of his treasures )
he'll know exactly which gemstones look best on you for jewelry
Ais:
Animals
like alot of animal facts dude
he has a wide range of knowledge because he can't choose a favorite animal. he likes SO MANY
ranging from the scariest of predators on land and sea to the cutest little fellas ( sharks, tigers, bunnies, small birds, sparrows *hint hint*)
if you tell him what your favorite animal is expect to be randomly given little gifts based off of of it ( illustrations, mini figurines, plushies etc )
asked Vere alot of questions about his fox nature ( " does your coat change color in the winter?" " ...Ais I'm trying to get frisky stop asking weird shit" )
was the type of kid to bring strays home so you can imagine how happy he is about having a pack of soulless
he immediately knew which animal/animals they were all based on and knows how to interact with them accordingly
his love for animals kinda messes with his instincts like yeah I shouldn't pet that large predator but what if he's lonely like me 🥺
is totally fine with getting bit and scratched because he overstepped a boundary and will learn from it
I bet eridia's highborn snobs have captured exotic creatures for show so guess who's pulling up with his red eyed soulless gang for a jail break ( he'd give the creatures to a shelter that can relocate and take care of them )
wants to raise alot of pets with his S/o as they grow old. just one big happy family of strays they've taken in: wild soulless, escaped highborn pets, barn animals, alley cats, Vere, etc.
#touchstarved game#ais touchstarved#touchstarved vere#touchstarved ais#touchstarved mhin#touchstarved kuras#touchstarved leander#kuras#leander#mhin#vere#ais#touchstarved
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Joseph Quinn Characters' Favorite Disney Movies
(according to wheels, who definitely spent a normal amount of time on this)
EDDIE MUNSON
The Sword in the Stone. He's probably a Peter Pan enthusiast too, but the one where the gangly orphan is found by a bad-ass wizard who takes him on adventures and teaches him magic, and he eventually becomes king? That's the stuff fantasies are made of. Eddie Munson's fantasies, to be exact. Bet he totally had an owl obsession at some point because of Archimedes.
Deep Cut: Not that I think Eddie has a thing for knights or anything, but Unidentified Flying Oddball. Obscure movie about a nerd in a spaceship accidentally landing in Camelot? Time travel, fair maidens, and weird humor? Eddie would eat it up.
Billy, Ralph, Tom, Leonard and Enjolras below the cut!
BILLY KNIGHT
Dumbo. He calls it his comfort movie, but the poor boy cries during "Baby Mine" every single time. And when Mrs. Jumbo gets locked up. (She was just trying to protect her baby!) And the ending, but those are different kinds of tears. Will also cry if anyone considers killing a mouse instead of doing a catch-and-release. Think of Timothy!
Deep Cut: Follow Me, Boys! It's a feel-good found-family movie about a musician who falls in love with a small town that learns to love him back. Minimal trauma, son of a drunk gets a loving family and an ideal father figure, happy endings for everyone!
RALPH PENBURY
Mary Poppins. It's fun, it's magical, Ralph wishes he had a nanny that cool. He loves the mixture of live-action and animation, and never stops wondering how they did it. "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" is one of his favorite words, and he WILL try to work it into everyday conversation. And you know what? He can kind of pull it off.
Deep Cut: Babes in Toyland. It's dramatic, it's romantic, it has epic musical numbers, and it ends with a fabulous wedding. It's everything Ralph wants in a picture!
TOM GRANT
The Lion King. It's a classic story told with awesome animals and unforgettable songs. Tom's love of this movie has nothing to do with the fact that Simba reunites with his childhood sweetheart and gets to keep her and rule the kingdom and whatnot. No projection here. Just a good guy enjoying a good movie. Shut up.
Deep Cut: Swiss Family Robinson. A family on a deserted island fends for themselves against tigers and pirates and the elements, oh my! And that treehouse? He's definitely spent a bit of time fantasizing about building one of those for himself.
LEONARD BAST
The Great Mouse Detective. I know this feels like a Literary Nerd Cop-Out, but this movie is so clever and full of adventure. Offers a new perspective on a great many subjects - not just the giant toys that aren't freaky at all. Len has no comment on the mouse hookers.
Deep Cut: Darby O'Gill and the Little People. Those effects? In the 1950s? CINEMA!
ENJOLRAS
Robin Hood. Vigilante steals from The Man to give to The People? C'mon.
Deep Cut: The Scarecrow of Romney Marsh. A vicar in a scarecrow mask leads a gang of smugglers on nighttime missions to evade taxes and the king's goons, thwarting tyranny with street smarts and help from the community at every turn.
#writings of despair#joseph quinn characters#eddie munson#billy knight#ralph penbury#tom grant#leonard bast#disney
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Okay then this is your opportunity to infodump about sharks, I'm listenin'
FECK. SHARKS!!
THEY'RE FREAKING AWESOME YA KNOW?! My favorite shark, since I was like, three or something, has always been hammerhead sharks. Theyre just so COOOOL!! And did you know there's different types? Yep! There'd 9-10 different species of hammerhead, my favorites being the greater hammerhead, scalloped hammerhead, and bonnet head.
Greater hammerheads have been known to eat stingrays, and are immune to their stingers. Some have been caught with ip to 74-109 barbs in their mouths. They can also tan!! When they're living in more coral reef areas, closer to the sun, they'll turn brown. They just got a sun tan!
Another favorite are thresher sharks. Gorgeous sharks with long tails they use to smack their prey with
Pretty huh?
Tiger sharks are another favorite, mostly cus they eat trash. Some have eaten unexploded bombs from World War ||. Crazy huh? If they don't like something, or their stomach says no, they'll just regurgitate the item in question. Stuff like tires, license plates, boots, and other things have been eaten, so it would take a LOT for them to not like something.
Plus I love how they look. With their striped bodies and blunt noses. Some even like to be pet! Being some of the more docile sharks. (Still be careful with them though. They are wild animals)
Goblin sharks are also freaking awesome!!
Sharks from the deep with elastic unhinged jaws that can snap up their prey in less than a second. Their large paddle-like noses are used to detect electrical currents. Inside of every shark they have what's known as a lateral line and the ampullae of lorenzini. The lateral line goes through the shark, whereas the AOL is on their snouts. Able to detect electrical currents from potential prey. (Fun fact, i apparently taught my mom about this and I don't have any recollection of it. Ask her and she'll tell you though)
Imagine the sheer amount of animals a goblin shark would be able to detect!!
Another favorite, one many of you probably haven't seen (and if you have, congrats!!!) The frilled shark!
These guys also can live in deep waters, and have six gill slits, making them REAAAALLLY old. Modern shark species only have five, these guys have six and haven't evolved in millions of years. They have trident teeth, perfect for catching their primary food, squid. The first gill slit also cuts around the entirety of their head, and the gills themselves have frills. Giving them their name.
Another deep-sea shark I love is the broadnosed seven-gill cowshark
Cowsharks are like hammerheads, there's different types. And this one is just cool! Lookit it, it looks like a puppy!! Sixgill sharks and Greenland sharks are also examples of cowsharks, having more than five gill slits. They're just. So cool!
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heres my favorite clay sculptures ive done showcase @send-me-a-puffalope !!!
i wont go into detail about the catnessa sculpture since i already talked about it in like three posts 😭😭
expand for higher quality
The top left one is a sculpture of my favorite hero and main in Mobile Legends: Bang Bang (yeah…. i play it once in a while) Barats (and his dino Detona)!! It’s of his Toy Rex skin, I love him so much <3 I didnt make his rockets though
i also made this drawing in 2022 of my favorite Barats skin which is also my profile pic in mlbb
the octopus and nine-tailed fox were made around the same time when i had an art teacher
i love them <3 the ninetailed fox is kinda wonky haha
it had my deadname underneath but yea probably early 2019
these two are foxes i think? or wolves, the silver one’s name is… Silver (i think) (very original i know) and i forgot the white one’s name, probably Snow or some shit 😭
there was another one, a golden-brown one with a red bandanna but idk where he went and his head got decapitated, his name was Lucky i think??? i did NOT know how to name things, also he was like the leader of their group 😭😭
i used to like. play with them and make up a whole storyline
they were created in 2019 as well
my crocodile!!! probably my most favorite sculpture, made last year!!
fun fact:
My Tyrunt sculpture was made in 2019 actually, I misremembered on my other post
my dragon that I made in 2021 or 2022!! i hated painting them but i love how its so light because i made it out of armature wire wrapped in tinfoil on the meaty parts and covered it in clay, very easy to transport, its lighter than the catnessa sculpture
also funny thing is that i finished painting it (gave up and just called it a day) last year around the time as i made the croc because i gave up on painting it all in 2022, the bottom was mostly white because i didnt paint it, the eyes i gave up on, etc
its kinda like an icewing from wof with its spikes, but i just created a regular ol european dragon
and finally the dragon something pot pet (i forgot the name but we had to make one) i made in third grade 💀
dont make fun of him guys 😭😭 at least you can put water into his mouth and itll go into the pot thingy
its really bad but i love him
Honorable mentions:
Harith Lightborn Skin from MLBB 😭😭😭 WE DONT TALK ABOUT HIM. HE DOESNT EVEN LOOK LIKE HIM
also he used to have keys but they broke off
also idk how he even stands, his weight is purely on his cloak, which is also really shittily made
this tiger (her favorite animal) i made for my friend as a gift last year
dont ask me why i decided to make the stripes like that
ALSO TOEBEANS <3
i also made another croc that was a copy of the one earlier but smaller for my other friend cause she wanted one but i never took a picture
#blizz’s nonsense#blizz's art#clay sculpting#clay art#barats mlbb#tyrunt#pokemon#harith mlbb#mlbb art#im never gonna paint barats 😭 but maybe the croc#i just realized one of the octopus’ legs are gone.#im gonna kms 😭😭😭#i love barats. barats is my child#and detona <3333#also im never gonna properly finish the dragon
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I love that your tags are animal emojis. “Is this John Kerry or is this a fucking bird 🕊️” is my new favorite game
He probably has the most animals out of all the tags (🐯 definitely has some tigers and maaaybe 🐻 has some bears but it isn't as common) bc he's sooooo pigeon-dove coded actually. People act like the dove as a symbol should be exalted as a symbol of peace and holiness, but the domesticated pigeon is ignored, even hated, seen as incredibly boring and just... forgotten about. Doves are peace, pigeons are vermin. Contradictory, right? (In Russian, btw, they're the same word: голубь (golub). This is similar to the adjective голубой, which means (sky) blue (as opposed to dark blue). That's apparently also a euphemism in Russian for uhhh kinda fruity 😳 anyway. Just a fun fact :3
So I assign to pigeon-doves a lot of symbolism for him. He's also seen as boring and is looked over or forgotten about—people either forget about or criticize his tenure as SecState even though he undertook a lot of really difficult initiatives with little PR payoff, even if they don't understand how instrumental he was. (He was key in negotiating w/ Russia in sept 2013, preventing a US military strike on Syria in order to secure safe passage of Assad's chemical weapons so that ISIS didn't get a hold of them. Sam Power recounted that, when she (as the US rep to the UN) and Churkin (the Russian rep) afterwards successfully negotiated the UN side of things, Lavrov was handing out dove pins. So. :3
Coughcough anyways. That's why there are so many birds in that tag. Although in one interview he also mentioned hunting and eating doves, which is hilarious.
(My top three picks for his repping animal are 1. Mourning dove 2. Domesticated rock pigeon and 3. Luzon bleeding heart.)
🦆 OTOH has no ducks. It's just John Edwards's tag (well, him/Andrew Young) bc Edwards sounds a tiny bit like Mallard 😹 and I'm fine revealing who that tag is because at one point I tag his name in all caps soooo
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Most of my favorite skyrim modded followers and what I think what type of khajiit variant and furstock they'd be.
I picked a domestic cat breed and a wild cat breed for all of them. The descriptions won't have that much in it. It's more the looks I'm basing off on every character. I also picked a quad-ped and biped for each character too.
Inigo: Blue tiger/blue tabby. I mean since he's already a khajiit you can't really say you see him as anything else. But if he wasn't blue I think he'd be a white tiger variant and an American short hair. I think he would still be a Suthay and for the quad-ped he'd be a pahmar
Lucien Flavius: Orange and white tabby munchkin mix cat / Arabian sand cat.
Sometimes he reminds me of my cat named Mellow when she was a kitten honestly. I picked the Sand cat only because it's small and basically blonde.
I definitely think he'd be an alfiq mainly because I read something about them being more magically strong. I also think he'd be a Tojay or Suthay-raht.
Kaidan: Brown siberian cat/ Panther.
I picked what I thought was the most intimidating cats at the top of my and mind and picked these two. I would have given Kaidan the Maine Coone but they aren't intimidating at all and are one of the most gentle cats to have.
Definitely gives Cathay-raht or Senche-raht vibes.
Auri: Abynissian/ Cinnamon Caracal.
I picked both of these because these cats are known to be wild and energetic and they can also be seen with as red so ginger red head gang.
Definitely Ohmes-raht and Dagi vibes. Dagi for climbing and living in trees and normally I'd pick ohmes since the bosmer and phmes are very closely related, but I picked ohmes-raht because of Auri's wild nature matching with her having more cat like features.
Caryalind: Yellow Ragdoll / Asian Golden cat
The ragdoll is seen as one of the sweetest cats in the world and the fact their are ones with golden coats just scream caryalind. The Asian Golden cat is picked it just because of the golden.
He's like Dagi-raht and Ohmes vibes.
Nebarra: Fat Golden Persian / Pallas Cat.
I have a whole story of Persian Catbarra being found in an abandoned barn starving and almost dead from being mauled by wolves. When he's living with his 'savior' he has the biggest attitude but he low-key has the biggest heart.
There is art of him as a khajiit, somewhere. But it portrays him as a Pallas cat and now no one can convince me otherwise it's his spirit animal.
I gave him Suthay and Senche variants.
Khash: Russian Blue/ Rusty-Spotted Cat.
If khash was a cat I think she'd be quite Russian Blue, just because.
Tiny and dangerous. Only reason I picked the rusted-spotted cat
I think she'd be Tojay-raht and Dagi
Taliesin: Siamese / Serval. My mom always told me the Siamese had the attitude of every cat breed in the world.
And Taliesin being a high Elf with dark hair matches the servals gold fur with dark spots, and the first serval I seen had the biggest attitude I've ever seen. I think
Taliesin would be an Suthay-raht and Alfiq.
Xelzaz: Scottish Fold / Jaguar. Scottish folds are so cute and their name just sounds so mature and determined.
When I was younger I thought jaguars and leopards were the only big cats that liked water because if a video I saw of a jaguars swimming for fun.
Xelzaz gives me Suthay-raht and Alfiq vibes.
Lucifer: Oriental Short-haired / Iriomote wild cat I was either gonna pick the Cornish Rex or the 'dobby' cat for Lucifer mostly as a joke but I honestly do think that out of every cat breed he would be that.
The Iriomote-yamaneko is known for the meaning "that which has flashing eyes". If you look at the cat you'll notice it has eyes kind of similar to to Lucifer, and the fact that it's critically endangered and my lack of knowledge of this species reminds me that I barely no anything about Lucifer.
I think Lucifer would be Tojay-raht and Alfiq-raht
Remiel: Greyish/Brown Mackerel Tabby / Black Tiger (yes there was 10 found in India, look it up *beware there was a dead tiger was on the search*)
I honestly thought that her cat Numi was a Brown Mackerel tabby mostly because I thought the mackerel tabby looked the most like how I imagine Remiel.
When I think of Remiel and which colors resonate with her. I think warm dark colors mainly of Orange, red, and black. Which kind of reminded me of tigers the most, but I didn't want to give her the plain Bengal so I look to see if black tigers were a thing.
I think Remiel would be a Tojay and a Dagi mainly too climb in dwemer cities safely.
Gore: Tortieshell Tabby / Female Lion
I think the tortieshell matches Gore's beauty a lot honestly that's the only reason I picked the tortieshelk for him. I think if he'd have cats he'd have a torieshell and a Bengal.
I'm specifically saying a female lion mainly for the fact that Gore is someone who is drawn to packs and is more of a hunter and not like how Male lions are portrayed as the leader.
Gore is definitely a Suthay or Tojay-raht and Pahmar-raht. Normally I'd pick Cathay for Gore but in the conversation where he asks that you don't see him as a great-sword wielder because of him not being a someone who's super muscular and tall, it makes sense to give him a smaller body furstock because it stick to his character.
Eris Light and Shade: Nebelung (german cat) / Lynx
I only picked Nebelung because of the name and the color of its coat.
The lynx is seen as one that's very reserved and quiet. Only keeping to itself, which matches a lot with Eris's personality
I see her as an Alfiq-raht and an Ohmes.
#skyrim custom followers#skyrim#elder scrolls 5#inigo the brave#inigo skyrim#lucien flavius#lucien skyrim#auri skyrim#kaidan skyrim#gore skyrim#nebarra#xelzaz#lucifer skyrim#eris light and shade#khash the argonian#Talieisn skyrim#caryalind skyrim#caryalind thallery#Khajiit headcanons#remiel skyrim#remiel
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Dragons: the nine realms rant
THIS WILL HAVE SPOILERS UP TO THE END OF SEASON 4.
“Do you really hate it, or are you just upset it's not Hiccup and the gang?”
me:
So a quick rant about this show.
I am a huge fan of HTTYD, ROB, DOB, RTTE. I have consumed so much information on the HTTYD universe I could write the book of dragons. - and I’m sure others out there can too! (honestly guys, let's do it.)
Going into this new show, I was skeptical, in fact I was going into this expecting to hate it.
I didn’t. Here’s why:
In the end of the third movie we say goodbye to the dragons, a choice that many despise. The movies and shows illustrate that people are greedy and cruel and only a few are friends to dragons. As for the real world - anyone remember the Tasmanian tiger? Or how about the number of rhinos and elephants? Wolves going extinct in Yellowstone, having to be reintroduced to the area? Humans can’t even protect the species we have on earth now, what do you think would happen if we had magical fire breathing dragons? This nine realms show give us these answers and much more.
In the beginning of this show we see very familiar drawings and characters, which means the writers are well aware who is watching. They know that this new show will draw in the generation that grew up watching Hiccup and the gang. With that, the show continues to add little easter eggs to tell us who our main character is. They also state that a real dragon is a dead dragon. Meaning the real world situations of humans being cruel to animals applies in this universe.
To me, this shows Hiccup did the right thing. He made the correct choice. The dragons stayed safe. They were not hunted to extinction, they were protected. As someone who grew up with the OG dragon riders, it does hurt to know they are gone, but this show helped me cope with that.
The nine realms reveals their legacy! It shows what happened after the movies and that one special. If they were leaving stuff behind, they had to be down there a lot, if not moved down! They weren’t separated forever. Not only that, we know who left behind everything. The Gronckle iron shield?! That was placed in a way to reflect light? It was made to be a beacon. But high enough up that walking wouldn’t work, and in a realm so hot you’d need dragon scale suits to get through. It was placed so only a dragon rider would see it.
The time capsule!? My gods we all know who made that. The fact that the key is a family heirloom?! Hiccup thought so far ahead you think he could see the future. And then the cave painting!? It also had Toothless! Hiccup was down there with the dragons for so long he left a leg for fuck sake.
Beside the easter eggs, I saw this new show as a very fun archaeological discovery of our favorite characters, our friends. To figure out what their story was by solving the puzzle like Hiccup would. Instead of being told, we're finding it alongside a descendant of the Vikings we know and love.
This is a great new story for the next generation who didn’t grow up with Hiccup and the gang; now they have Tom and the team. It's not the same because it's not supposed to be. This is Tom’s story, with added elements of the past so no one forgets the roots. Don’t hate it just because it’s not the same characters you grew up with. It's a new story in the same world. It's Berk's legacy and the start of Tom’s story.
Honestly I think people’s reactions to this is a good example as to why we don't deserve dragons. Learn to say goodbye. Yes, it hurts, but that's okay. It means you care.
I am here for DTNR, along with all the new dragons. Before I end this I’ll touch on some topics I've seen floating around.
Toothless descendants are inbred?!
Uh, I believe that's a no. For one they shoot lightning now, not balls of plasma. Which means they had to breed with another type of dragon. On top of that, who's to say there weren't furies below in the world before? They’d just never gone to the surface. There are nine caverns for the gods’ sakes, there had to be a handful of cave dwelling furies. And yeah they are all nightlights, but again, we’ve only known Toothless’s story, the nine realms are their own story. On top of that, idk if you know this, but after about 800 years, genetics don’t mean shit. So between having a handful of other furies, other dragons, and unclear lifespan, we can assume either one of two things: the genetic line is so muddled it's nonexistent, or dragons live longer than we think and we are still getting through the handful of cave furies. - also meaning Thunder is closer to Toothless’s genetic line (assuming he’s even part of it) than Tom is to Hiccup.
Hiccup abandoned their efforts and beliefs in showing people the truth about dragons?!
D-did we watch the same shows and movies? Is that what you got from those movies? If anything the new show just validates the third movie even more. (is that why ya’ll hate it?) They tried guys! They really did, but you saw how out of hand it got in the third movie. On top of that, the amount of people already trying to use dragons in various parts of the archipelago was just the beginning, the third movie showed leaders from all over the world. If Hiccup didn’t make that choice, dragons really would be just a myth. - they would have been hunted to extinction.
Canon cast is dead!?
I mean… death is a part of life. It's in the future. Like go through the stages of grief if you must, but this new show keeps them alive. Their legacy was keeping the dragons safe. They did, and still are, thanks to Tom and his friends. They live through Tom, and possibly Toothless through Thunder. (cue he lives in you from lion king 2) I find it nice learning about the old days while growing fond of the new.
The animation is shit?!
Well compared to the movies of fucking course it is. Now compare it to Miraculous Ladybug. -w- yeah, not so bad now huh?
If the animators had the correct time to work on it, I'm sure it would be better. It's a TV show that still has pretty good quality in animation for what it's worth, yeah it's not the BEST, but it's also not the worst.
Also look back at the ROB. That animation?! Bruh. Episode 1 had me crying.
Overall, if you hate still hate it well:
If you like it - tell me why and let's be friends.
#dragons the nine realms#httyd#httyd rant#rtte#hiccup#hiccup how to train your dragon#hiccup haddock#tom kullersen#toothless#night fury
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1902/3 The Wizard of Oz Musical. Soundtrack.
I wanted to discuss this a bit. It's important, but note I bring up the topic of racism here.
If you can get a copy from your public library do so.
Though some of the songs can be found online in higher quality. Some songs are featured on the Tiger tunes website that are not on the CD/related media. Like "The Scarecrows Song" S
Some song on this CD set feature racist lyrics from the 1900s know what you're getting into"
My favorite songs from this musical are.
The scarecrows song lyrics by Baum "If I only had a brain prototype"
I love you all the time "It's simple but cute"
Carrie Barry "Lesbians"
When you love love love Lyrics by Baum
Sammy "A hit"
Football "Hilarious" "Possibly ableist?"
Hurrah for Baffins Bay "Spongebobian" (Verse 4 uses a dated word)
Come Take a skate with me "Adorable"
Down on the Brandywine "Has a single racist word"
Daisy Donahue "Racist descriptors"
I Love Only One Girl in this Wide Wide World "dated descriptors,but cute chorus"
Can't you see I'm lonely "Literally me"
I'd Like to Go Halves in That "Very funny"
Bullfrog and the "Not saying that word" "A cute animal song with a bad opening lyric"
All of the songs that I enjoyed that do feature racist words makes me sad the creators included such awful words. But that was the era.
Bullfrog is an exceptionally cute song but it didnt need to be racist, neither did brandywine, or Daisy donahue. I'd love to see modern takes someday with cleaned up wholesome lyrics. So people can enjoy this version of Oz without the blatant bigotry of past generations.
Someone did in fact do a clean brandywine it's real cute.
Sammy is the Quintessential song of this musical. It's about a gal pining for a boy. It's super straight. But gosh is it catchy. Could be retooled to be queer.
Hurrah for Baffins Bay is one of the punniest in joke songs ever written. I went on reddit and asked actual sailors and they were surprised at how many sailing puns are in the song.
Cant you see I'm lonely was featured in "Over the Garden wall"
Come Take a skate with me is really cute. I love the idea of going on a date rollerskating. Could easily be retooled to be queer.
"Theres a lot of things you never learn at school" Not a favorite But this could be a PROTOTYPE Wogglebug song!
Now there are extra tracks but I'm not really going to go into those.
The worst songs are
Where she's always sitting "awfully racist"
Sitting bull "White people singing about native people isnt it"
Pocahontas "As above"
"Sweetest girl in Dixie" "Remember the south" Yuck
"Must you" so weird
I love this CD, but half of the songs are mediocre. They're there for historical context. But this CD has given me a LOVE for vintage music and the origins of american music. It's also opened my eyes to just how "casual" white people were with racism in music of the era.
Thankfully there are many songs that wonderful and fun.
#l. frank baum#the wizard of oz#wizard of oz#musical theatre#broadway#musicals#broadway musicals#music history#stereotype
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its been a while since we've gotten any animal facts, got anything for us? 👀
Yeah okay, here's a fun guy, one on my favorite snakes, the Tiger Keelback
This guy is neat because it's not only venomous, it's also poisonous. Quick lesson for people who don't know, venom is injected, poison is absorbed through the skin or eaten. This guy is both.
The poison glands are right behind its head, which is unfortunate since that's where you're taught to grab snakes. So if it feels threatened it'll puff up those glands, the poison secreting through. Like so many animals it gets it's poison from what it eats, in this case toads.
It's also venomous, it's venom is a hemotoxic venom, which gets into your system and starts to hemorrhage you, so basically you start bleeding internally. But, it's fangs are back set, that means they're very far back in it's mouth so if it were to inject you it would have to really chew on you.
They're found mostly in Japan and, thankfully, are rather docile snakes that would prefer fleeing over conflict.
#look at them#they look so similar to garter snakes#dont grab snakes if you cant identify them i often say#even then you shouldnt#i also ignore my own advice and damn its a good thing i don't live in japan#don't mind me#answered#ask#speamyraven#facts#my facts#animals#reptiles#snakes#tiger keelback
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My thoughts on the Cat Pack
So this is something I've been wanting to talk about for a while now. I'm sure the reason we all love PAW Patrol is because of the adorable pups. But honestly, I'm actually AFRAID of most dogs in real life...they're too loud, energetic and unpredictable...so I've always been more of a cat person due to their more relaxed nature, which makes it really tiring to see the overused trope of "dogs good, cats bad" in media of any kind. Don't lump me in with Mayor Humdinger though, I don't hate dogs...quite the opposite actually, I do really love dogs! I'm a big fan of huskies in particular (which is ironic considering they're the mascot for a major university in my state, so they're well loved by a lot of people here), they are BEAUTIFUL and my therapist has one that she used to bring to her office before everything went virtual, and I LOVED him! He was so calm, quiet, and gentle (which I know is uncharacteristic of huskies), and very very soft and fluffy, with a beautiful reddish brown coat and blue eyes, his name is Rory but we always called him a "gentle giant"...this is pretty close to what he looks like btw.
So I don't hate dogs by ANY means, and if I ever saw one being abandoned or mistreated, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from helping it, just like I would if I saw a cat in the same situation (I really do love animals and find them easier to feel empathy for than people, those humane society commercials on TV always cause me strong empathic distress and make me wanna adopt all those poor pets and give them a better life...seriously why are people so mean...? It's not okay...). I'm just afraid of them most of the time...I'm usually fine around calm ones, it's just the energetic ones that I get anxious around. So when Wild was introduced into the PAW Patrol in season 7's Moto Pups subseries as the first cat member, I thought it was a breath of fresh air that there was now a cat character that wasn't a villain (yes I know Cali isn't a villain but she doesn't do much either way). Wild took the spot of my favorite subseries character because of that fact...and also, he's a stunt cyclist, and motorcycles are cool (they're too loud for me personally but I love watching them on TV)! I was honestly really sad to see Moto Pups go because it meant Wild wouldn't be in the show anymore...but then the Cat Pack happened, introducing three more cats that Wild himself made into their own team to help the PAW Patrol! I was really happy to see more good cat characters, and the Cat Pack's gear and vehicles are honestly really cool. It's also really cute how they each look up to a different big cat and have the skills of their respective big cat as their "Cat Pack power" and vehicles designed after them as well (Wild - cheetah, Rory - white tiger, Leo - lion, and Shade - jaguar). I have Wild's cheetah-cycle and it's so much fun to yell "Cheetah speed!" when playing with it, and I hope to collect Rory, Leo, and Shade's vehicles as well someday. It's too bad the Cat Pack stuff seems to be over too...part of me wants a spin-off about them tbh, they have so much potential and I miss them.
(They're so cute I love those kittens!)
Anyway, with all that said, who's you guys' favorite Cat Pack member...? Mine, if it wasn't obvious, is Wild, but one of my brothers likes Rory because he LOVES tigers...like, they're his favorite animal EVER. Also, if you like the Cat Pack and miss them like I do, do you have any ideas for a potential Cat Pack return? If so, I'd love to hear them!
I rambled a lot in this post, but I'm done now, I promise 😅
Till next time, Marshall out! ✌️
#paw patrol#paw patrol cat pack#i really do love the cat pack#having good cat characters in paw patrol is a breath of fresh air#i'm actually more of a cat person#don't antagonize me for that though#please...#cat pack#long post#marshall talks#marshall rambles
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I mean you know I had to come and be shipped. Male character please. ISTJ, Virgo, and Gryffindor. The Eldest Sibling. I'm 5'9 which is considered average and in my family is considered short. Trans Dude with long hair because I refuse to cut it although this also means I've lost more hair ties than I can keep track of. Glasses. Penchant for wearing graphic t-shirts, patterned button downs, jeans, or hoodies if the weather permits. I own no single pair of normal socks anymore (that's a fact I pride on, they're all some sort of pattern). Sarcastic. Quiet until you get to know me or until I'm comfortable. I swear a lot which shocks people. Mentally Ill (depression, anxiety, OCD). Autistic. Dream Job is to be a film editor or honestly in the industry in some capacity. I watch too many movies in about every genre. Read a lot, probably more than I should in comparison to actually adventuring outside. But I love roaming cities, heading to concerts, plays, musicals. Record store trips, thrift shops all the time. Listen to any genre of music and have too many favorite artists to list. Irrational fear of deep sea fish. Favorite color is green. Favorite animal is a tiger. Does this help, hopefully! Honestly if you're overwhelmed with ships don't bother with mine just take it easy and I'll be fine. PS. Obv your shipped with Roman, I just. Yeah I mean you two would absolutely vibe.
Noah!!!! I ship you with: Kendall Roy!!!
He loves your sarcasm. He can't help it, whenever you have a comeback or comment, it always makes him smile. You're fast with it, too. And you don't censor yourself. You're like that with everyone. He loves it. You can keep up with him, with Rome and Shiv. You have endless comments about his father though you're smart enough to keep those between you and him. He also loves how much you swear. The word fuck is like um or like with his family, it's between every word. He appreciates that you can keep up, that you're not shocked or disgusted by his own swearing. It doesn't make you a bad person or any less smart, it's just a way of expression.
You love that when he puts his mind to something, he gets it done. Kendall can get a little one minded when he's focused on something. That can be a little annoying to others, when he gets that focused, but you like it. It brings out this determination in him that you don't often see. It shows you, and the world, that he isn't just Logan Roy's son, but an entire being and entity on his own. That he's far more capable than people give him credit for.
Your relationship is emotional. Kendall is a bit of an emotional roller coaster. After being on a high and making pitches and taking over as CEO, he gets low and needs to isolate and typically drifts to the water. It's not always easy dealing with that, but you make it work. You make sure you're always communicating, talking, and working things through. He really is grateful for you and all that you do. You knew going into it that he was a complicated person with a lot of feelings and not that much, if any, support from his family. It's work, but in the end it's completely worth it. You love one another so much.
Your first date is to a record store. You know from the beginning that Kendall favors one genre above all else and is constantly wearing his headphones. You love fishing through the records and CD's, telling him all about the different artists and genres and time periods. And he loves to listen. If it were anyone else he might've been bored, but you make it interesting, you make it fun. You make him want to learn everything there is to know about all genres and types of music. It's a store you visit often after that, making fun of one another and what you listen to.
Relationship Headcanon: Kendall always keeps a hair tie on his wrist for you. He always replaces is when you need one. You never noticed for the longest time, he just always seemed to have one. Then one day it clicked: Kendall doesn't need them. His hair is too short. He wears them for you, when you need one. You don't say anything about it, but it's something you're reminded of often whenever you look at his wrist. He's doing it for you, because he loves you and cares about you and thinks about you.
Screaming, crying, I want to vibe with Roman so bad he is baby boy!!! I really hope you like it! 💜💜💜
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That’s actually a tough question, I think my immediate answer would be Ranpo’s eyes but not because of color or anything like that even though I do think green eyes really suits him. I like that he keeps his eyes closed a lot of the time. He’s a very confident character so having his eyes closed adds a layer of relaxation and calm to his body language. Plus I definitely think he’s autistic and keeps his eyes closed do to being overwhelmed easily.
But I think my real answer would be Atsushi, the sort of heterochromia he has can naturally occur, it’s just heavily overshadowed by both eyes being a different color so I like seeing it occur with him. The shape of both his iris and his pupil are also very unique, they’re both shaped like a cat’s pupil which definitely is a nod to his ability. I’d like to point out too that even in his natural human form his pupil is oval and pointing vertically, vertically slit pupils like that of a cat’s are unique to ambush predators and they round out in the dark and while hunting. Humans aren’t ambush predators but still predators none the less so we have rounded pupils, it’s interesting to see little things like that with Atsushi that blend together between his tiger and human forms. I also think that the purple in his eyes are also from the tiger form, white tigers can only have blue eyes because of the genetic code that cause white fur but there is a bit of variation with the shades so I think he could potentially just have a purplish blue from that form and the yellow is his human eye color. Also also fun fact 100% of white tigers are cross eyed too, their eyes look normal but their optic nerves are wired to the wrong sides of their brains so they see cross eyed and there’s a lot of screen caps I was seeing as I was looking for good images of his eyes where he appears to be looking down and at his nose slightly so I’d like to think that in his human form he’s also slightly cross eyed
I definitely agree about Ranpo! He seems autistic, I am not sure if it's confirmed canonly (I don't think so, but he does have a lot of traits that fall on the spectrum) and him closing his eyes to not get overwhelmed or due to sensory issues definitely makes sense as well as the fact you said he is confident and I think it also provides him more focus since he isn't specifically looking at anything and only time he does open his eyes is usually when he makes a complete deduction or when he is sort of stressed, which is really interesting about him! I also noticed Fukuzawa keeps his eyes closed a lot and this feeds into my love for them as father and adopted son sjsjs they are so cute and Ranpo is one of my favorites :D
***slight spoilers
Everything you said about Atsushi is on point and I literally adore it so much! Especially as far as I know white tigers are genetical mutation, they are not natural existence if I am not mistaken which is really interesting due to Atsushi being obviously preformed some experiments on by Shibusawa and god knows who else which also makes me think of Natsume if you saw him yet, he is a cat but three colored one which is almost always a female cat, only in rare genetic mutations it can be a male which I think adds a lot to the storyline of orphanges and all sorts of experiments that we can see being performed on few characters
Also, about his pupils and everything, I love that so much! I think his eyes are so unique and as you said - the way his human form kind of blends in with his tiger form through something so small as pupils is so adorable! Also, the purple/pinkish in his eyes that comes from being a white tiger and that they usually have blue eyes is also really interesting! I definitely agree with everything you said, especially the part about predators and how humans have round pupils and our sight isn't really as good as in wild animals due to the fact we don't really deal with predators or hunt anymore, it feels like tiger in him is always active in a sense and that he doesn't really trust himself, etc., I think it adds a lot to his character! :)
Also, I heard about white tigers being crossed eyed due to wrong wiring of optical nerves and Atsushi being a bit cross eyed himself is so adorable please djdjsjs I love him so much honestly and his heterochromia is really beautiful! I think it really represents the beast in him as well as human in him molding together and trying to coexist in one body :)
Also, another thing I noticed! Both Nikolai and Atsushi have white hair, but beside that - differently colored eyes and also what connects them are Dazai and Fyodor in a sense where Nikolai is only person who sees Fyodor as a human which can be said for Atsushi when it comes to Dazai, he is the only one who sees good in him and I think them meeting wasn't an accident at all :D
ALSO YOU ARE SO INTERESTING AND SMART PLS, I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!! THANK YOU FOR SHARING AND THANK YOU FOR TALKING ABOUT THIS :D I LITERALLY LOVE IT SO MUCH :D
#stinkyanswers#my sweet death <3#YOU ARE SO SMART PLS SNSNSN#I LOVE THIS#YOU ARE SO INTERESTING#I ENJOY TALKING ABOUT THIS SO MUCH
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62, 80, & 98 for the ask meme
hii thank u sm!!!
62. seven characters you relate to?
oh great heavens. okay. i need to post my kinlist but perhaps posting this instead will be like microdosing on that. LMFAO
castiel spn
twilight sparkle mlp
dexter morgan dexter (<- NUANCE i swear to christ im normal about that)
the mangle fnaf
will byers stranger things
jesse pinkman breaking bad
jane villanueva jane the virgin
you may ask. what the fuck do these characters have in common. well. thats. yeah
80. earth tones or jewel tones?
OUGHHH god this was so hard...... jewel tones for me personally however on other people i tend to be more drawn to earth tones!! (my gf is an earth tones guy for example!)
98. favorite historical era?
oh good heavens im gonna explode. ok. SO. man. man. man. theres so many im probably forgetting because i am very autistic about a lot of historical eras. however. wait i need to mention. i took art history classes however sadly due to the time in my life i took them at i do not remember jack shit</3 and also i was super autistic about history as a kid but ive forgotten most of that as well. the things i remember clearest however are:
italian high renaissance (who else is a davinci girl bc I AM!!!)
pleistocene epoch (aka: the ice age) SHOUTOUT TO THE SMILODON!!! i love you more than anything american scimitar cat<3 american scimitar cat smilodon is my best fucking friend now and forever. FUN FACT. i was so autistic about this when i was like 6 or 7. that when assigned a school project to get a cardboard box and turn it into an animal and then put facts about the animal on the box. i turned mine into a scimitar. wait i havent elaborated. those are a relative of the sabre-toothed tiger. Anyways. my box animal was a scimitar. i was later informed i was the only child in the history of that project in that class to have done a presentation on an extinct animal. i felt So Special and happy. :)!!
honorable mention: baroque period went off the shits as well. AND YOU KNOW WHAT. SHOUT OUT TO SPECIFICALLY THE 1880S. THATS WHEN THE LAST TARPAN (widely considered ancestor of majority of modern horses) AND THE LAST QUAGGA (subspecies of plains zebra) PERISHED. YOU WILL FOREVER BE FAMOUS. speaking of the 80s. big huge fan of the (19)70s for architecture and musical purposes. and also i just miss the 2000s every day. lol<3 oh god wait i cant post this without saying shoutout to the thylacine i saw one at a dc museum unexpectedly and legit almost started crying. wait. i think i have a photo of me with it. hang on. ( i visited the museum for my birthday<33) ok i found the photo and im gonna preface this with: this area of the museum was Empty and in a corner i was wearing my mask the rest of the trip. wanted to clarify that its important to me. anyways. when the fucking autism hits:
it was the one behind the curtain btw. thank you so so fucking much for these questions btw so so fun to answer they hit Niches in my Autism brain.<3333
hii feel free to ask more here anyone whos interested!!!
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