#also i am convinced i am not qualified for this job or to even work at this place

[bbarnesbby]

Through the back door

Pervy!contractor!Joel Miller x fem!reader

(photos from pinterest, and not an accurate representation of how the reader is perceived in their appearance)

Summary: A fresh faced personal assistant catches Joel’s eye whilst working on his current job, and who can blame him for going after what he wants? Even if it takes some convincing…

Words: 2k

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, dark!Joel Miller, Joel is VERY crude and pervy here, he's also very forward, creepy men, catcalling, groping, coercion, lots of sexual innuendos, but no actual smut, my lil brain knows nothing about construction sites or contractors and it shows<3, my dyslexia lol

!! I do not consent to or accept any instance in which my works are copied, edited, reposted or translated on tumblr or any other website. !!

!! Please also note that this is fan fiction and I would never tolerate the themes in this being repeated in the real world. I am not responsible for what you consume on this website, all warnings are given and if you don't feel comfortable with them then your opinion is valid and understandable, but not invitation to hate on or shame this fanfic !!

Thank you and please enjoy <33

The repetitive click of your heels on the dusty pavement below you seems to be the only thing you can hear over your laboured breathing as you rush to get back to the office building, the place that could only affectionately be described as your own personal hell.

When you'd first gotten the job, the ambiguously labelled title you had been assigned did confuse you at first. However, now as you grip the holder for four coffees in one hand, and a bag carrying a series of different flavoured salads, sandwiches, and kinds of pasta in the other, you realise it was all to cover up what you'd really be.

A bottom-of-the-barrel personal assistant.

The job itself isn't one you would complain about, everyone has got to start somewhere after all, especially coming straight out of college. It's just the assholes you work for that make you long for an escape.

Young men with no degree, making them easily less qualified than you, having the audacity to make requests that must be completed in unrealistic time frames seem to be the bane of your existence. The fact they have the power to do so only down to the fact they have family working the important positions in other branches of the company.

That and the thing hanging between their legs.

Pushing your thoughts of distaste aside, you glance at your wristwatch as you round the last corner of your journey before the building is in sight. You notice you've got a good five minutes before you're eligible for a scolding from your boss and let out a sigh of relief.

But as you get closer to your destination, you notice construction tape seems to have materialised around the walkway to the office building in the fifteen minutes you were gone, men already drilling into the ground you need to walk over to get where you need to be.

As you hurry to the now construction site, you stand for a moment confused, huffing as you look around for anyone who could help you in your predicament.

Your eyes scan a group of men standing by the bed of a pickup truck, presumably talking about their job at hand. You walk along the makeshift fence made up of scuffed traffic cones and more construction tape until you're near enough parallel to the truck, not crossing the tape out of concern you may disrupt whatever's going on.

"Excuse me?" Voice loud enough to be heard but still polite, you gain the attention of a couple of the men, their averted gazes prompting those who didn't initially hear you to look over too. A small but friendly smile pulls at your lips but soon falters when a few of them let out their renditions of low whistles and unsavoury comments towards you.

"You alright, pretty lady?" One of them smirks, dark, invasive eyes giving you a once over as he runs his hand over his dark brown, almost black, hair.

Was this building a magnet for sleazy male stereotypes or something?

"Um, I work here." You stumble over the statement slightly, the discomfort you feel under his penetrative stare affecting your speech as you weakly point at the building behind them.

"Yeah, no shit." The same man darkly chuckles along with a couple of the other workers, eyes raking your form, clad in a blouse and pencil skirt. But you feel you might as well be naked in front of them, stuck there like a deer in headlights as they continue to ogle your body. Before he can make any other comments, he's lightly pushed to the side as another man approaches.

"Shut up, Tommy..." His voice is deep and commanding but has a playful nature behind it, the two of them clearly well acquainted with one another.

He looks to be older than the men around him, broad frame imposing as he comes to where the tape separates you from him. Although, the way he carries himself suggests he's probably in a position where he could do whatever he wanted with the equipment on the site, but have no one to answer to for it.

"How can I help, sweetheart?" He sounds friendly enough but has that dirty, smug look on his face that tells you he's not any better than the men who'd previously been eyeing you like a piece of meat.

Despite the sickly feeling that swirls in the pit of your stomach when looking at him, you realise he's probably your best shot at getting you where you need to be.

"I need to get back in the building," your voice is timid as you try to avoid the burly man's gaze, opting to look back to where men are starting to pull up the concrete slabs that once made up your path back into your workplace. Though the pause after you've spoken prompts you to glance back up at him, catching him looking down the gap between your chest and slightly unbuttoned blouse, "I work here-"

"Yeah, you've said that." he cuts you off with a smirk, taking in your mortified expression before looking over the construction site with a huff. "Well my boys are pretty deep in their work now, and I can't have ya walking through here when we've got equipment running," he gives you another once over, "don't want a pretty girl like you getting hurt, do we?"

He's smiling again, but you see straight through it and tense at the realisation these men will be working here for god knows how long.

"What should I do then?" You ask with furrowed brows, readjusting your hold on the coffees that now uncomfortably weigh down your hand.

"I mean I could carry ya over," he laughs as though it's a joke, but first impressions tell you he'd jump at the opportunity to get his filthy hands on you -- no matter the circumstance, "how bout I take you in the backdoor?"

The way he worded the innuendo didn't fly over your head the way you wish it did, and the combination of his comment and the way he's now running his pink tongue over his bottom lip making you feel sick in multiple ways.

You reluctantly nod, just wanting to get back to work and away from this man. The obnoxious nepo babies that unfairly dominated your field of work suddenly felt like prince charmings in comparison to the man now stepping over the flimsy barrier that once separated you. But as he came that small distance closer, you couldn't help but feel some attraction to his broad frame and tan skin. And those arms...

His slight chuckle pulls you out of your thoughts, wide eyes snapping up to meet his leering expression as prickling heat floods your face in embarrassment.

"C'mon, I'm Joel by the way," he tilts his head, gesturing for you to walk in front of him. It's a request you realise most likely has ulterior motives, but you do so anyway after muttering your name in return.

Rounding the corner, you falter for a moment as the cluttered alley comes into view. Your gut instinct is screaming at you to tell Joel that he can fuck right off back to wherever he came from, but you figure that would cause more commotion than the slim possibility he'd try anything in broad daylight.

But as you carry on down the alley and squeeze past a particularly cluttered area of multiple dumpsters and bins, you become more uncomfortable as he spews another innuendo about how 'it's real tight, huh?'

His irksome behaviour soon becomes less of an annoyance and more of a concern though.

Once you're past the worst of the clutter you soon realise that it wasn't just an obstacle, but also serves as a wall -- blocking any further view for anyone passing by.

Turning around, you merely stand there as Joel comes closer. His daunting frame becomes more intimidating in the dim light of the narrowing lane you now find yourself trapped in, helpless.

"Doors just there," he mutters while pointing to the slightly beaten-up side door to the left of you, a twisted attempt at making you believe you still have any control over this situation.

Not trusting your voice, you simply nod at him with your eyes still locked. You'd prefer him to leave before you turn your back to him, but when he makes no move to do so, you quickly rush to the door in the hopes you may be faster than him.

But faster you are not.

First, you feel the heat radiating off of him, and then you feel the hard chest, the wandering hands, the grinding hips. As he invades your space and presses himself against your back, you try to squirm away, but only end up pinning yourself between the door and his imposing body.

"Where you tryna go, sweetheart?" His breath is hot against your neck, sending shivers down your spine and to places that make your body hot with shame. "You really wanna go back in there? Where those people are just gonna treat you like shit?"

His hips continue to grind into your ass, becoming more calculated rather than ravenous, as though his words and body are working as one to persuade you.

"I know those guys, they'll chew you up and spit you out." His words become harsh and his rough hands harsher, beginning to untuck your blouse from your pencil skirt, reaching up until his fingers are splayed across your stomach. The skin-on-skin contact is undeniably thrilling, as he now caresses it with finesse.

"So fuckin' soft," he mutters into your hair, inhaling before releasing a rumbling groan, "I'd treat you like the sweetest thing, baby."

You grimace at his words, far too much commitment behind them, leaving you spiralling into another panicked frenzy. You squirm again, this time having more success as you're able to turn to face him, although not fully able to escape his unrelenting hold yet. Facing him, you see how dark his eyes have become, set on you like a predator eyeing its prey.

His hair is slightly tousled, the way he'd previously been ravaging your body having that effect. You realise there's no way you can persuade him to stop his pursuit of you, so you decide to cave, at least you hope he thinks so.

"Let's not do this here." You say it quietly so as to not come off too demanding, peering up at him through your lashes in a way that you hope looks innocent enough for him to believe it. "Wouldn't you wanna do this someplace comfier," your voice switches from scared to sultry, “hm?”

He quirks a brow at this, slowing his assault on your body to a stop, but not yet taking his hands off of you, “you wanna do this somewhere else, sweetheart?”

The pet name still irks you, but provides some ease in telling you your comment hasn’t pissed him off at all. Trying to run along with your manipulative escape, you nod up at him, taking your bottom lip between your teeth and pushing your own crotch closer to his. You tell yourself it’s all for the bigger picture, but you can’t ignore the way your body has come more accustomed to his touch in such a short period of time.

"Mhm,” you’re nodding again, placing a hand on his firm chest, and slowly, teasingly, sliding it lower, “do this where you can take real good care of me… Show me what I'm missing?"

There's a pause, his expression unreadable as he continues to penetrate your façade with his stare. His lack of response has you rethinking your words, brows twitching as more sick scenarios of what could ensue consume your thoughts. But then a dark chuckle fills the tense silence, Joel shaking his head as he smirks down at you. Stepping back, he tucks his hands into his pockets and gives you one last once over before nodding his head and making his way back down the alley.

"I'll keep an eye out," are his last words before he disappears past the trash and clutter, out of sight.

But maybe not quite out of mind...

-----

First fic done! All likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated and I am open to requests on future fic ideas you may have<33

#joel miller x reader #dark!joel miller #joel miller #joel miller x female reader #the last of us #pedro pascal #pervy!contractor!joel miller #pervy!joel miller #joel miller fanfiction

[filmbyjy]

COLLIE DUTY

SYNOPSIS > being the new CEO to the ‘Sim Corp’ was hard and stressful. jake didn’t have much time to spend with layla and so he decides to get a dogsitter, you. though, you were originally already his secretary. how will dog sitting bring you two closer?

FOUR - she’s a cute one [written + pictures]

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

WARNINGS: none :)

ah yes, who knew you’d spend the afternoon of your work day walking down to jake’s expensive ass mansion. no seriously, jake was loaded with money.

oh sorry, I meant Mr.Sim was loaded with money. as you can tell, he is your boss and CEO of the company. you never bothered to ever address him by Mr.Sim though. why? simply because the both of you are the same age. it truly was a funny story on how you landed this job. being his secretary.

-

you remember the day where you bumped into him and spilled your coffee onto his shirt. god, you remember scrambling to help him and wipe off the stain off his like $1000 coat. actually, you were already late to like an interview (at his company but you didn’t know he was the CEO)

“it’s alright. you don’t have to apologise.” the man before you says.

“no no, i’m sorry. I spilt coffee on you and your coat. it looks expensive. though I probably can’t afford to buy you a new one, maybe I could pay for dry-cleaning?”

He laughs. No seriously, he laughs at you. He found you sort of cute to think that you could pay for the dry cleaning of his expensive coat. It was a one of a kind coat and there was only one in the world. Specifically tailored for him but you didn’t know and he wasn’t a rich snobby guy.

“It’s really okay. It’s just a little coffee and you were a little clumsy. This happens the most of us. Just be careful next time, alright?”

“But I need to repay you in some way-” he hands you a business card.

“If you feel really bad then maybe you could eventually repay me by getting coffee together.”

You bowed a couple of times to apologise to him and then went straight to the interview. The same one he would attend since he so happens to be looking for a secretary at the time. This stunned the both of you a little when you noticed each other in the room. Jake was even quicker to also announced you would be his new secretary and that caused jay and another staff to look at him in shock.

“What? Is it wrong to want her to be my secretary?” Jake tilts his head.

“Mr.Sim, we barely started the interview.-”

“And? She definitely looks qualified. Maybe a little clumsy but she definitely can get it after a couple of times.”

“Sir-” jay stops the other staff.

“Alright then Mr.Sim, if you wanna do it. Go ahead.”

The memories…and now here you are. watching Layla running around with a tennis ball in her mouth. she places it on the ground in front of you and nudges you to throw it. you were surprised she warmed up to you instantly because you heard it took a while for jay to even convince her to eat the food he placed on her bowl.

you threw the ball and Layla runs over to grab it. she barks and happily catches it. she then runs over to where you were and flopped in front of you. she rolls over so her belly was exposed. you gave her a good belly rub and she enjoys it. maybe this wasn’t so bad, layla was a good dog so she definitely would be obedient with you. now, all you had to focus on was getting some actual work done.

you were still jake’s secretary after all. hence, you took out jake’s iPad and went to fix up his schedule for tomorrow. you scanned through and added everything important, called to make sure the clients would actually be present in the next week’s meeting. you just continued working. then, a message pops up.

it was jake, asking if he could see a picture of layla. you happily snapped a picture. however, you quickly realised what you had just sent after texting him that picture was just creating more work for yourself and now you were screwed.

a/n: rip you. I am also hoping that the pictures and texts don’t mess up bc the last time I did it, I could not edit the chapter and it wouldn’t save😵‍💫

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#COLLIE DUTY #COLLIE DUTY smau #enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen imagine #enhypen angst #enhypen smau #enhypen fluff #jake #jake imagines #jake imagine #jake angst #jake smau #jake fluff #jaeyun #jaeyun imagines #jaeyun imagine #jaeyun angst #jaeyun smau #jaeyun fluff #sim jaeyun #sim jaeyun imagines #sim jaeyun imagine #sim jaeyun angst #sim jaeyun smau #sim jaeyun fluff #kpop #kpop smau #smau

[wonderinglostsoul]

Criminal Mind Fanfic

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: You are an FBI agent with a past and you were about to enter the BAU.

Trigger warning: BAU stuff like killing, violence, assault, mention of rape and suicide. I tried not to get too graphic with the decription

Note: This is a slow burn so I hope you can bare with me. I am trying to make it as short as possible. ( I actually wrote this note when I am writing the first chapter and now I have 8 chapters on my draft sooooooooo)

I know that it is a long read but I tried to make each chapter as interesting as possible by adding some case. And as a reward here is a smiling Thomas Gibson

You can view other chapters on Wattpad

Master list:

Chapter 1

You arrived at the BAU one hour earlier. No one was there yet so you roam around the office to make yourself busy, trying not to touch anything. You don’t want to evade any privacy or think that you were snooping even before you get the job.

As you roam around you study each of the desk. There is a desk with a lot of books and science fiction stuff. The desk was tidy but not organize. You know that this is a guy in his late 20s. He was hired by the FBI not because of his strength but his intelligence.

The next table was easier to identify because of a family picture on the table. It was the blonde woman who is an FBI and her husband? You figure that he is a cop. You were about to go to the next table when one of the office at the top of the stairs open.

“Can I help you?” A man says with a soft voice. He is fit, tall and handsome. You can see a hint of tiredness in his eyes. Or was it sadness? All you know is that he havent left his office since yesterday. You got a glimpse of the name tag on the door. It says Aaron.

“Mr. Aaron Hotchner, Hi I am [Y/N/L].” You hurriedly went upstair and held out your hand. “Nice to meet you sir”

He shakes your hand and spoke “You too. But you were early, our meeting was not supposed to be in an hour. Please come in” He opened the door.

When you enter the room you see some paper works. He go to one end of the table and he asked you to sit on another.

He read your file. You know that half of it are true but the other half? Its only your previous boss knows.

“This is a good recommendation that you’ve got. However, your experience with the bureau is… short. I am not sure if it can be sufficient with what we need right now.” He said while he continue reading your resume. You can see the hesitation on his face.

“I do understand that you wanted to hire someone who has experience. But I know that I can be of help with you here, sir. I can be of help so you dont have to pull all this all nighter and spend the rest of your time with your son.” You told him. He looked at you intently. You knew that he was not convinced but both of you also know that this interview is just a formality. Hotchner does not want to hire anyone through nepotism. And this scenario reminds him of how Emily Prentiss started in BAU and he is afraid that the history will repeat it self

He sighed and put the folder down. “ I want to be honest with you,” he said in a low serious voice. “I dont know who you are but everyone on the higher ups wanted me to hire you. But this job. What we do, its important and dangerous and if I cannot trust you or you lacking the experience you might be endangering us all”

“Then try me.” You said, sighing in between smile. “If my experience is not enough for you then put me on the field so I can show you what I can do. I know that I have all these backers but I also studied behavioral science and profiling so I know what I am doing. I pass my exam here in Quantico so I am qualified as any of the agents here. I am top of my class. ” You said with conviction. A knock on the door interrupted your meeting. The door opens and a bubbly blonde open the door. You figure out that she was not the same kind of agent that you are.

“I’m sorry, sir but the Texas PD called and they need our help.” She said.

“Thank you, Garcia. Tell everyone to meet at the conference room.” He said.

“Yes, sir.” She said then closed the door.

“I hope you have your travel bag with you. Follow me please.” He stand up and headed to the door.

We arrived at the conference room and everyone fell silent and looked at us.

“Everyone this is [Y/N]. She will be part of the team “Probationally”.” Hotchner Said emphasizing the probationally.

He starts introducing everyone. Reid, the guy with all the book, Jennifer, the woman with a kid and cop husband, Penelope, the girl who knocks at the Hotchner’s door, Morgan and Rossi.

They were talking about a mass shooting in Texas but they cannot find the shooter.

“An L.D.S.K. “Reid said as a matter of fact.

“What is L.D.S.K?” You asked.

“Long distance serial killer” Reid answers.

“A sniper?” You asked. Hotchner click the remote and shows the victims photo.

“Most likely yes. It seems that the victims were being assassinated. The shooter is from a high a place and shot in the victims in the head and the trajectory of the bullet is in downward position” Hotchner explained. Great! You thought. The last thing you need is a case related to your past

“We need to go to texas. wheels up in 30.” Hotchner added and then he headed out of the conference room.

Everyone started to stand up and followed hotchner. You stayed because you thought of something but Morgan interrupted your thought.

“Hey newbie, you coming?” He said,

“Yes, yes.” You said absentmindedly.

You arrived at the jet. Good thing that your previous boss told you to ready a travel bag because this assignment requires a lot of traveling. Derek and Reid are already seated beside each other, in-front of them is JJ. So you seated at the long couch beside them. Rossi and hotchner was seated at the other side of the plane. The screen opens and Garcia was at the monitor. Rossi and hotchner both stand up and join your area. Rossi seated beside you and hotchner seated on the armrest beside Rossi.

They started to discuss about the victimology. 2 of the victims are male both from a different age group and industry.

“I remember one of our L.D.S.K unsub. The nurse. He would use his car to hide himself and shoot his victim.” Morgan suggested

“Yes but he was not aiming for the head. He was only aiming for the stomach. And he was shooting as many victims as he could so he can save them. But this new unsub kills all the victim.” Reid said.

“Of course you remember it correctly. This is were you got your gun right, out of hotch pity because you saves his life.” Morgan teasing.

“I was able to pass my exam after that so I earned it fair and square” Reid answered.

“Alright, how about you [Y/N] do you have your gun. If not, I think Reid’s whistle is around here somewhere. “Morgan teases and started looking around

“She has a perfect score on her qualifying exam. She has the license to use any kind of guns” Hotchner said. You glance at him and you saw that he was looking at you. Everyone fell silent so try to join the quip.

“I can teach you when we comeback” You told Reid with a smile. “ But my tip is to Aim, shoot and follow thru.”

“Thats the same tip from hotch.” You look at hotchner and he was still looking at you intently so you smiled at him. To stop the awkwardness you address garcia,

“Garcia, do you know the height of the victim?”

“Not yet but I will send you the details as soon as I got the ME.” Penelope responded,

“And can you please check the trajectory of the bullet. Can they Identify the angle?” You added

“For what?” JJ asked,

“To find where the shooter was located during the shooting. We can narrow down the buildings and floors to search.” Rossi answered JJ. “That was impressive [Y/N]. You seems to know a lot about balistc.”

“Yeah” You answered.

“Rossi, [Y/N] and Reid, go to the hospital and check the bodies, you can get your answers there. Morgan, JJ go to the lasted crime scene. I will meet at the texas pd.” Hotchner ordered. They all go back to their seat. You read your case file again and analyze the crime scene.

“Newbie, what’s your story” Morgan asked you.

“What do you mean?” You answered peaking from the case file.

“What do you do before you join the BAU?” He asked, everyone was waiting for you to answer. Even Hotchner put down his case file to listen.

Of course you cannot tell them who you really are. It is confidential and they might not understand even if you tell them. So just tell them all the half truth on your resume. You study behavioral science and profiling in quantico. At the same time you do trainings to be a field agent. You have a short stint as an undercover agent and then you asked to be transferred to BAU to pursue your dream job and become a profiler.

“Why is it that your dream job is to become a profiler? It seems rare to find someone with that dream.” JJ asked.

“Because I can read people easily like an open book. For instance, you are married with 2 kids. You grew up in a farm and based on your body built you are athletic. When we are waiting for take off, you ere fidgeting your phone, contemplating whether to call or not but you opted to text. I concur that you had a fight with your husband and you just inform him that you were on the plane and might not be home tonight. I can go on but I dont want to be rude. But I guess you got my point.” You said apologetically.

“Thats amazing,” JJ said still in shock.

“I know, but it seems that I cannot read 100% of who they are and it still puzzles me how they can kill so many people. Do they have remorse or do they enjoy it so much. All I know is that there are alot of things that you can learn with the human behaviour.” You said passionately.

“I hope you’ll get what you needed here. “ JJ said warmly.

“Thanks” you answered,

The plane landed in Texas. When you embarked to the tarmac you see 3 cars waiting for you. You follow Reid and Rossi to the hospital.

At the hospital you confirmed that the unsub did the shooting at a high place. Approximately 18 floors. You asked garcia if there are building like that in a 10 mile radius and she confirm that there are 17 buildings. you were able to narrow it down because of the position of the victim when it falls. He was laying on his back so most likely he was facing the direction of the shooter.

You call Hotch and mentioned this to him. He asked Morgan and JJ to join you so that you can check floors 17 to 19.

You were able to find the bullet casing on the 18th floor and handed them with the ballistic team. Hotch asked you all to go back to the station to round up your findings.

On the way Garcia was able to find the connection on the victims. They were a member of robbers who were responsible on robbing a bank in the early 90’s. The statue of limitation was about to expire soon and they can now used the marked money that they were able to rob during that time. The team figures that one of the member was trying to eliminate the others to have all the share by themselves. There are still 3 members alive.

The team was able to profile the suspect. Male in their late 40s early 50s. Previous member of a gang. Not really an anti social but does not have any committed relationship in the past years.

The team investigated the bank robbery to identify the other suspect. You spent almost the whole day and still does not got anything. Hotch told everyone to go back to the hotel take a rest and start fresh tomorrow.

You were walking at the corridor when Hotch called you. You glance back and said “What’s up?”

“You did great a while ago at the building. You were able to identify the crime scene. It seems to me that you really know a lot with regards to guns and ballistic but it does not show in your resume.”

“It was just a hobby.” You said defensively. “I also read alot of cases before thats why I knew how to examine medical reports. And I guess watching alot of criminal drama also do good.” You told him smiling. Hotchner just nod but still examining you.

“Sure. Rest up and have a good night.” He bid you good night and open his door. You make way to your own room and started to settle in.

The next morning you all reconvene at the station. This time you made the connection. You were separated in 3 teams and went to each suspects house. All of them was out. On the 2 of the suspect you saw letters asking them to meet at the nearby plaza but the other one did not. Now you knew who is the unsub. Hotchner asked everyone to meet there but before you go with Hotchner to the car you realized something.

“Hotchner, wait!” Hotch glance back at you, holding the car door.

“I dont think that the unsub will be at the meeting place. If he used a sniper before, I bet he will also use one here. He will hunt both of them down.”

“You’re right!” He get his phone and dialed Garcia.

“How can I help you today lovely people.” Garcia greeted at the other side of the phone.

“Garcia, can you find a building near the park. around 10mile radius.”

“There are several, ma’am.”

“How about High rise building with atleast 18 floor?” Hotchner asked.

“There are 7 but there is one building with exactly 18 floors and the highest floor is currently renovated. I will send you the address.”

“Thank you!” You and Hotchner both shouted. You go in the car. Reid was waiting for you. While driving you called everyone and mentioned your finding. You will go to the building while the rest will go to the park. Hotchner also asked back up. While on the way you saw a taller building, atleast 20 floors high. You ask Hotchner to stop.

“Stop the car!” You shouted.

“Why did you find anything?” Hotchner asked.

“I am about to. You go to that building that garcia mentioned. I will check something here.” You said in a hurry. You were about to go down. When Hotchner asked you to stop.

“I did not authorized you to do any of this unless you tell me why. Why do you need to go to that building. What is the connection to the case?”

“I cannot tell you just yet. But I can promise you that I can help. just please trust me on this. If I screw up then fire me right here. Just trust me please.” But you know he will not do that so you immediately grab the black bag you stash under the seat and jump out the car. You heard the car go away but you did not look back.

You run in the building and asked the guard that you need to go to the roof. You show your FBI ID badge and they escort you immediately. When you were at the last floor you asked the guard to stay put and dont approach the rooftop until you said so.

When you are at the rooftop, you open your bag. Inside is your sniper. Which you always bring anywhere with you. What was not added in your resume is that you were a trained sniper of the FBI. You are one of the best there is. You assemble the gun and insert some bullets.

You position your gun and look into the scope to locate the building that Garcia mentioned. You scan the top floor and saw the UnSub. He was preparing to shoot. You scan the park and saw the target and you also saw Morgan, JJ and Rossi approaching the 2 targets. When suddenly each of the swat team started falling down. You knew that the unsub was shooting. Before anything else, you point your gun to the unsub. You can see him smiling. And with your instinct you pull the trigger. It hit the unsub in the head. You saw his gun fall on the ground when he lose grip and fell down. Your heart was raising. This is the first time that you use your sniper after that unfortunate event. You were still looking at the scope when you saw Hotchner go to the window trying to find the one who shoot the unsub but you know he will not find you because you are a few miles away that the naked eye cannot see anymore. You look at him at scope for a while. Trying to read his facial expression. You know that he knew you were the one who did this so you know that he was angry at you. But when you look intently at his face, it was not anger, but rather worry that was registering in his face. He was scanning every single building around but to no avail. He frowned then you saw Reid joined him. He talked to Hotchner. Based on his lip movement you read that the others are fine and the officer that was hit was not critical. You smiled and put away your gun.

You retrieve the bullet casing and put it on your pocket. You went down and join the team at the park.

When JJ see you she was surprised.

“I thought you were with Hotch and Reid at the building where the UnSub is?” JJ asked

“Something happened thats why we have to split. How’s everyone? “ you answered her

“Everyone was fine. Some of the SWAT Team got shot as we approached the target but there were graze, I dont think the UnSub has any intention to kill them.” Morgan answered.

“And what will happened to the robbers?” You asked him

“The statue of limitation will not expire until tomorrow so they can still be arrested.” Morgan answered. You smiled.

“Thats great.” You know they have questions. Its not normal that the boss will let someone alone especially during they apprehension of the suspect. And the bag that you carry. You look more suspicious than any unsub there is. But you know that this is your last day. so you do not care anymore.

When you arrived at the station you saw Hotchner. He was shocked for a second to see you and is that a hint of relief? No, you must be imagining. And in a split second his face become serious again. He raised on eyebrow and then look away. You know that you were fired the moment you left that car. So you just approached him holding your badge.

“Sir,” You said in a low voice. When he turn around you stretched your arm, offering him your badge. He just raised his eyebrow again at the sight of the badge then he look at you

“We will talk when we arrive in Quantico.” He said then turn back to whatever he was doing. You retrieve your hand and walk away, joining the rest of the team.

The plain ride was excruciating. Hotchner was quiet and pretending you did not exist. The rest was minding also there own business. So you just lay down on the couch and tried to snooze all the noises. You cannot believe that you were able to screw your dream job.

#criminal minds #aaron hotch x you #hotch x you #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch fluff #hotch #hotch x reader #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch fic #aaron hotch imagine #thomas gibson #spencer reid #derek morgan #david rossi #penelope garcia #jennifer jareau #jj jareau #fanfic #slow burn #wattpad

[creampuffqueen]

hiiiiii... crying and rambling about my personal life under the cut

so as of yesterday i have been officially rejected from all the summer internships i applied to. because i was stupid enough to only apply to four and assume that at least one of them would stick. what a silly thought

and it's just. so frustrating. like what do i not have that disqualified me from these jobs??

meanwhile i'm not going to get to see my best friend at all this summer. why? because she's going to be out of state with one of the most prestigious internships in our field this country has to offer :)

she applied to like twice as many places as me. some of the same places as me, in fact. and she got accepted into every. single. one. it's so fucking disheartening to tell her that i got rejected from a place and then hear her say 'oh, i got that internship. i turned it down though, i got a better offer'

she's my best friend and i'm so happy for her and so goddamn proud of her for getting all these awesome internships, and she fucking deserves them, she's so talented and qualified

but why am i not also qualified? what does she have that i don't?

and i don't want to brag on myself but seriously. i have over 300 hours of veterinary experience. what was the fucking point of doing unpaid labor for nine months to get all these hours and the whole certification if it's not helping me get a job??? why can't i get one single fucking internship? just one? what does everyone else have that i don't. i don't get it. i don't know what i'm doing wrong. i don't know what more i can do. did i just peak in high school? is that it? am i never going to be any better than this?

i just don't know what to do. it's late enough in the year that there really aren't any other internships open. everyone already has their people. i have one other place i can try but if i don't get that then i'm just fucked. and it's hard to even convince myself to submit the application because i feel like i'm just going to get rejected from this one too. why bother

why did i choose the most difficult subsection of vet med to try and get into

don't let anyone try and tell you people don't want to work anymore. people want to work. there's just not enough jobs in this godforsaken country

i normally try and stay positive but it's just. so fucking hard. and i feel like a terrible person because i want to be happy for my friend but at the same time i'm so fucking jealous it's not even funny. i feel like this always happens. everyone gets their dream job except me. i just get to watch from the sidelines

#mal's shitposts #vent post #i don't think anyone will but just to make sure please don't reblog this thanks

[formulatrash]

Hi, whats your opinion on Susie Wolffs new position with the F1 Academy? I scrolled too far down the comments on the announcement post and am effing angry now, because i think there could not be a better person for that role, but at he same time i can understand that working on opposite sides in the same organisation as your husband can be perceived wrong. I don't really see the problem though, as a managing director of a different race series she won't have much contact with the official side of f1, won't she?

Sorry if this is unclear, not my first language ✌️

hello - thank you for the question, your english is perfect. (mine probably less so haha)

Susie is 100% the right person to lead F1 Academy; I'm only surprised they managed to convince her to take the role. that says a lot about some credible stuff behind the scenes that I haven't always credited F1 Academy with, so far.

as with Venturi, Susie doesn't do projects if she doesn't think they're right. she doesn't need to, she only puts her name to things where she believes she is the right person to do them and that there is something worth doing.

so to have her coming onboard for F1 Academy is a huge sign for the series. I don't need to tell you Susie is absurdly driven and extremely well connected, she can represent and help the girls - many of whom should be teenagers, it's an F4 series so they only need to be 15 and I don't, unfortunately, need to tell you how much the press will fucking suck about that - navigate a world that's inherently hostile to and doubtful of them.

This is from an interview I did with Susie in 2021, about how to get more women into motorsport (which she did very successfully, with Venturi, by the simple act of hiring them)

"I didn't think at all about the fact that I was a woman doing it until we had our first media call," Wolff said (with a UK newspaper, if you were wondering). "And I remember it so clearly because [when] we had the call, I remember exactly where I sitting. The first question was: 'Did your husband get you the job?' The second question was: 'What qualifies you at all?' And the third question was: 'How do you manage being a mother and a team principal?'" 

She flagged a stark comparison to the interviews done with another former driver who stepped up to a team principal role at the same time as she did. "These are the first questions I get, in my first interview as a team principal. And I know they're not saying this to Allan McNish; he's got two kids, he's an ex-racing driver. What gives you the right to think that my husband got me the job?"

It's hard to put into words how important it's gonna be to have someone who gets that putting herself in the line of fire for up-and-coming young women. their records are going to be scrutinised, their lap times will be exaggeratedly plumbed into - christ, look how shit the Formula E Gen3 is with Hankook tyres. it's literally slower than the Gen2 even though it's 100kg lighter and has 100kW more horsepower and you had the brain geniuses of Twitter explaining that actually, W Series setting different times on Hankooks to Formula Regional on Michelins just meant that girls suck.

for the record, I don't think it matters at all that her husband is the head of a team in a different series. F1 Academy is not feeding directly to F1, it's an F4 series and if, say, Merc junior Luna Fluxa wanted to get in then she'd need to find the backing same as the rest of the field. (she's currently too young)

there's only one race where F1 Academy will be on the same circuit as F1 (COTA) and the majority of the championship will be done by then. so they won't even be in the same geographical place - and if Susie pops into the Merc hospitality to use the coffee machine when they are then I don't think even the amateur cops of F1 twitter can manufacture a scandal.

also I think people need to remember Susie came up karting against Lewis and they are friends. different parts of a diversity discussion but ones that come from literally the same karting tracks.

#motorsport asks

[normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke]

It's really frustrating when people, especially other disabled people, act like being unable to work and/or being on disability is a privilege. I want to give people the benefit of the doubt and say that most people just don't understand how disabled you actually have to be to be entirely unable to work, and how vulnerable and unsafe it can be, so I wanted to talk a little about my experience. I'm in the US so this post will be based on US experiences, feel free to weigh in with differences/similarities to other countries.

Qualifications for talking about this: I've been labeled "unable to seek gainful employment" by a functional capacity evaluation (FCE) and an "individual with most significant disabilities" by the Office of Vocational Rehabilitation (OVR). I don't have SSI yet but I have a hearing at the end of this month so hopefully it'll happen soon.

This post is going to be super long so I've put it under a cut to keep it from taking over the entire screen.

First of all, I want to talk about the level of disability you have to be at in order to be completely and totally unable to work. I spend about 10 hours each day lying down. During that time I can only do small movements, so something like lying down and crocheting or sorting or assembling objects would be out of the question. This alone is not enough to qualify me for disability as, according to my lawyer, I would be able to do work taking calls or writing. I also have severely limited cognitive energy and can only do complex tasks for about 2-4 hours every day. These two together are not enough to make me unable to work as I would still be able to take calls. The third thing that actually makes me unable to work is that I'm autistic and developed social anxiety as a result, meaning I wouldn't be able to do that taking calls job that my lawyer mentioned. He's still not 100% sure he'll be able to convince the judge that I can't work, that's how strict disability hearings are in the US.

Second of all, the process of getting disability and the challenges it presents. I have a lot of help day-to-day from my mom. She helps me fill out SSI forms, she takes calls from my lawyer, she drives me to meetings with him, she helps me get my powerchair in and out of the car. I would not have been able to do most of this process without her. Being reliant on other people to keep me alive makes me vulnerable to abuse, I can't leave home even when things are really bad because I have no where to go. Even when I'm on disability the pay is so pitiful that I likely won't be fully independent and will rely on financial support from my parents. And I'm one of the lucky ones. Not everyone has support at all. I'm almost 100% there are people who are too disabled to get disability because they don't have someone to help them complete the work involved. Some people don't have families who can provide financial support while they wait for approval for disability. People who can't work and don't have support are at very high risk for homelessness, hunger, and death. I've been trying to get SSI for 3 years and I would have been dead for at least 2.5 of those years without my parents. I am too sick to walk to a shelter or food bank, I would literally just die.

And none of this even mentions the increased risk of being targeted by eugenics and ableism because we don't meet up to the "respectable disabled person" standards, which I won't go into for the sake of not making this even longer.

I understand that work is hard, especially if you're disabled, but "I wish I was too disabled to work" is an ignorant sentiment. Being unable to work is a disadvantage. Being able to work is a privilege. Please stop acting like people who are unable to work have an easier time in life.

#cripplepunk #cpunk #madpunk #actually disabled #spoonie

[aquadestinyswriting]

Apologeticum Debet

Summary: A reply from Selene to the letter Elowyn left her in Si Quis Mihi. It may or may not have actually been sent.

Words: 560

Warnings: None that I can think of

Note: Why, yes, I am plugging my friend's writing with this one. Please do go check it out. I got inspired when re-reading the work linked above

tags: @druidx, @sparrow-orion-writes, @ashirisu, @blind-the-winds, @philosophika, @the-down-upside-finch

Dearest Elowyn,

I know I’ve not been the easiest person to talk to this last year and a half. I regret to say that I allowed the stress of my job, and my fears, to get the better of me and I took it all out on you. That wasn’t fair. 

You are quite right, I did react out of both fear and love. Out of the mis-matched family those of us that were left created, you were one of the only two I had left that I could call as such. I had already lost everyone else (Edwin notwithstanding) and I could not bear the idea of losing you too. Especially to a plan that I, possibly mistakenly, believed had only succeeded due to sheer dumb luck.

I will admit that I was also deeply hurt at the fact that I was kept entirely out of the loop regarding said plan. While I may have initially wanted to go off half-cocked, I am not such a slave to my temper that I couldn’t be convinced to sit down and listen. I know my fits of temper are frightening to witness, but to know that it means that those around me feel I can’t be trusted to know of things that will initially upset me hurts far more than anything else in this world. 

Then again, here is the pot calling the kettle black. I ought to have more trust in you and your friends. I need to trust that you are more than capable of looking after yourself even in the face of greatest danger and that you will either come home safely, or you will turn to either myself or someone else equally qualified to help should anything go wrong. It does help to know that you have such capable friends, and that they seem to take great offence to your being harmed. As much as Snotgrut and his general social obliviousness annoys me, I am grateful to know that he has your back as much as Aurianna, Felix and the others. 

As for your replying to me as a watchperson rather than as family; I will admit that it did irk me that you didn’t seem to understand that I wasn’t looking for an oral report of the situation. However, given that we work together in a semi-official capacity most of the time at the moment, I acknowledge the fact that the professional and the personal have become inevitably intertwined in our interactions with one another. I can only hope that, once all of this is over, we can begin to untangle them. I’ve never really enjoyed having to interact with you, of all people, in such an official capacity and would much prefer to return to a more personable relationship.

For now, I can only apologise for my behaviour following the attack at the Plot Hook. I make no excuses for what I said and did, and can only promise that I will try to be better in future. I love you so much and I do not want to jeopardise our relationship for the sake of my own fears.

I hope we can have a chance to talk things out in person soon, and that we can get through a dinner or quiet drink without getting attacked in the middle of it. 

Love always,

Selene.

#aquadestinyswriting #titan fighting fantasy #the wizard's tale #selene frigidwake #elowyn o'toreguarde

[sewercentipede]

omfg my MIL—whom I’m not on speaking terms and haven’t been for like 2 years because she is a horrible, evil manipulative narcissistic selfish mentally sick person—has for months been applying to jobs for me (technically it’s for herself because she’s using her name?? But it’s positions that I specifically am qualified for by them being shitty and crappy, as opposed to nursing jobs which she would be applying to if she were doing it for herself bc she’s a nurse so idfk). and she’s listing my phone number and my email as the contact info on each job application, but she’s applying using her name….. so these various employers are calling me leaving me voicemails or emailing me about “my” application and using her name. I have no earthly idea what the resume she must be using. her own? a made-up one? did she get my resume from her crackhead son (I had sent it to him in the past — when I thought he was normal — for applying to the company he worked at and wanted his opinion on my resume)?

either way it’s like… is what she’s doing even legal? and legal or not It’s such a violation of my privacy n shit. and WHY is she doing it? why does she think it’s remotely okay to do? what is her endgame? my husband says she’s doing for attention. I think he’s probably right and that in her eyes she’s doing it as a favor to me because she’s so ~caring~ and -compassionate~ and could only expect gratitude for it. I think deep down my husband is right and it is manipulation tactic for attention and also manipulation tactic to make her seem like an altruistic caring compassionate selfless person, because she’s a narcissist (im fully convinced she has a personality disorder specifically npd) and that’s what narcissists do.

idk if I should ignore it, ask my husband to tell her to stop (maybe in a way like “you accidentally gave sewercentipede’s phone number for these job apps you applied to so you should fix that” or maybe just straight up “stop giving swerexentipes number to random companies. stop applying to jobs on her behalf”) , or send her the voicemails employers have sent me trying to set up interviews with me as [MIL’s name] and tell her “you gave my phone number so you missed these interview you could’ve gotten. Use your own number when you apply to jobs. Do not apply to jobs for me — that is lying about ur identity to employers while impersonating me without my knowledge and one of those things is probably illegal”. Idk what else

Might just call these employees and tell them they were given wrong contact info and it’s highly likely that she’s lying in the rest of her job application bc she lied about that. And then give them her number asking them to call her to figure that out

or sometginggg idk

#long post

[oliveasaltylife]

Well, it’s finally happening. My parents are withdrawing a portion of my monthly financial support. My husband has been out of work since early October and he finally found a job, but isn’t able to start until January.

We desperately need help to be able to make rent, pay utilities, and get food on the table on top of other monthly bills that can not go unpaid. I have spent the past 2 years begging my parents for the help they explicitly promised me when they found out my FIL gave me COVID in January 2022. I never recovered and still have a whole host of other complex health conditions that was significantly exacerbated. I still don’t have a definitive answer whether or not Long COVID is part of it because it reactivated a latent Bartonella infection that I got who knows how long ago. Not to mention the connective tissue disorder, dysautonomia, MCAS, chiari, and tethered cord I was already dealing with pre-infection, just undiagnosed and not taken seriously. My parents offered to help me financially because I had to stop working. I went back to work after my infection cleared, even though I know I wasn’t fully recovered, and relapsed very hard in May of 2022. That was when the full financial assistance from my parents really began, and they continued to try to convince me they would never turn down helping me.

For the next 6 months my mother berated me and made it known that she resents me because she wasn’t able to get “her pool” installed in the summer of 2022 because she had to help me, her eldest daughter. At one point she made me choose between my health and wellbeing or my sister’s (she is also disabled, but lives at home, and receives SSDI, which I do not qualify for). She ate her words that time. But they’ve been trying to get out of helping me ever since they offered. And now, my parents have taken it upon themselves to lower my financial assistance after my husband lost his job, and without even consulting me. They texted my husband, never made contact with me, and when I called them out on it made excuses that I don’t talk to them often enough. (Huh, imagine that. I don’t really want to contact my abusive parents, but it sure does highlight some of the abuse that’s gone on my entire life). I am not in a position to be able to turn down what they are giving me, though I can not wait until the day I can officially become no contact.

I need help. I’m exhausted from trying to fight for assistance I was promised by my own parents in addition to the extreme exhaustion that comes with living with complex chronic illness. I don’t know what to do at this point. I’m going to leave my Venmo link in hopes that maybe some of you are in a position that allows you to give assistance. If you are not able to, please share this. I don’t have a platform on any of my socials and really do not feel comfortable sharing it on Facebook where I have family members who also choose to ignore pleas for help.

#crowdfunding #crowdfunding request #mutual aid #mutual aid request #disabled #disability #COVID #long COVID #bartonella #MCAS #dysautonomia #tethered cord #chiari #ehlers danlos syndrome #vascular compressions #gastroparesis #olive blogs #cw abuse mention #osddid #dissociative disorder #neisvoid #please help me

[nikageeee]

Don't mean to get too dark- who am I kidding. Dead dove used to be my gem. If this is too dark you don't have to answer this.

We all know Travis is reckless when it comes to his own safety and has self-destructive, downright suicidal tendency (handing Laura that shotgun when guilt got to him too much). Considering his history of parental abuse...(56 years holy mother of God...) how severe do you think his mental problem is? I see avoidant personality disorder so that's given. Depression? Drinking problem? (Descendant of bootleggers so maybe genetics envolved too) Anxiety? It'll be a struggle getting his ass to a therapy...

PSA Heavy topics involving mental health , abuse and suicide discussed** just incase these are topics you don’t want to see- so can scroll away dear reader!

It is a dark topic but an interesting discussion. I will clarify I’m by no means experienced or qualified to really say much on mental illness. Cause I don’t know an awful lot about them and I don’t feel it would be right for me to speculate on that.

Something I do see in Travis of course is anxiety and very depressive thoughts. As we know he’s a victim of narcissistic and (likely) physical abuse at the hands of his mother- I can imagine that’s had a huge impact on his mental health.

I like to imagine one of the happiest points in Travis’s life was when he attended police academy and was no longer living under his parents roof. Though that would become conflicting for him when he returns home. Imagine a very young Travis going to the city, being raised so strictly and sheltered.

He’d have needed so much coaxing to try much- most of which he would feel guilty over. He drinks. He smokes. He has sex for the first time (possibly paid for or a one night stand- god forbid if ma ever knew what he was doing with those ‘filthy city sluts’). He also realizes he can run his mouth all he wants without someone batting an eye.

He hated how stifled he felt by his parents turning up for graduation. Immediately boxed back up. His peers observing how his parents spell out his plans for him.

Essentially:

Oh good you can come home now. Work for North Kill Dpt. That’s what you want Travis, right?

And he supposes it is. They convince him he’s not built for city life. Convincing him again that his place is with his family. Shouldn’t he even be grateful they got Hank to pull some strings??

He loved his taste of independence, but he’s gaslit enough into believing he’s needed at home.

Our home needs protecting. Us Hackett’s have North Kill’s best interests in mind…

And he can’t lie. The idea of enforcing the law on people who previously looked down on him is so appealing. It serves the illusion of control.

When he moves home he insists on moving out- probably a tiny place (I decided on a little cabin in hunting grounds). again this serves the illusion of him having control. He still has to show up for Sunday dinners.

But for the most part he can control this space. Lives minimally. On small meals he can make from tins and if he can diner food.

Ma constantly in his ears about how much he dedicates to family. Home cooked meals can taste great, but forever associated with the hurt and nagging and constant expectations of where he should be in life.

By the time he’s made deputy he goes through a period of apathy. The void of emotion. Of feeling trapped. He picks up smoking for the first time since college.

He might think about how things would be if he just wasn’t around anymore. Signs of him struggling would just be met with frustration or dismissal.

Like his Ma seeing him disheveled and low and if she asks him what’s the matter... Well, it’s Constance. From her mouth it’s asked more like an accusation rather than out of concern for her eldest-

What’s a matter with you?

She’ll tell him he has no troubles- he has a stable job, a healthy family. He should be grateful. All he needs is to just look at Chris. He’s got his wife now. Baby on the way. Just meet a proper woman Travis.

But he knows no woman he chooses would ever good enough for Ma. The ideal woman she perceived for Travis sounds like hell to him quite frankly.

-From a distinguished or proper family. Houseproud. Will make proper meals in the kitchen. God loving.

-Will stay in good shape after 3 kids.

-Knows when to speak- no loudmouths.

-If she has a hobby like crochet or piano that’s great in my book.

Travis knows immediately she sees someone like her as a great fit for him. And he refuses to marry his mother- or someone easily manipulated into her image.

All he can do is drown his woes in the local bar at the weekend. He does not consider himself an alcoholic at this point. However, as the years go by things get more demanding and take an even greater toll on him.

After the fire things go to shit. The job situation I mentioned in a previous headcanon post. He’s spread thin. Alcoholism is debatable, but across those six years he will have moments of complete excess.

It’s harmless to keep some scotch under his desk right? Something that would have been unspeakable for him to do before now becomes a means to ease him down after a hard full moon or family arguement.

Having buried someone who he respected, dare I say, looked up to as a surrogate father. Having seen and heard people question the position of sheriff landing on his lap. It’s too much at times. But Jed didn’t raise to him to crack under pressure.

The thoughts of not being here come back again- but then he’d be so selfish if he did that right? He’d be the biggest let down to his own family…

Travis continues on, drinking and smoking and the late nights with a couple of silent tears here or there. Ones he can just swipe away and dismiss.

He will become a bit too used to disregarding his own emotions.

He bites back at people with passive aggression and an expression of steely ice. When he’s on his own he may even shed a silent tear or two. Purposely smash a few things in a mix of clumsiness and frustration. Ceramic mugs don’t last long at Travis’s.

It’s something Chris makes lighthearted jokes about.

‘Uncle Travis always needs more mugs for Christmas, Kaleigh.’

As if he’s just clumsy and heavy handed.

It hurts.

So tldr;

I think Travis would suffer from serious bouts of anxiety, depression, low self esteem and addictive tendencies. So pretty bad troughs.

Most of his peaks are just tastes of normalacy I think? Any higher moments he grows anxious that he is both undeserving and things are going to predictably dip luck wise for him.

He’d be prone to anger and frustration as his breaking point responses. At the other side absolute emotional numbness where all he can do is go through it all until he snaps again.

It’s a cycle of getting a bit better, then getting worse than the last time…

#travis hackett headcanons #possibly triggering #travis hackett #narcissistic abuse #chris hackett #answers #writing

[dreamingsushi]

See You in my 19th Life - Episode 1

So I know, I know. I started some other stuff already, but this was one of my favourite Webtoon and I just can’t not start watching right away. I’m scared and nervous, hopefully they don’t mess it up. I can’t not watch this and I already waited too long before getting to it because of work. So here I am, super eager and excited to dive right into this beautiful, beautiful story.

Ban Ji-eum is a girl who remembers all of her past lives. When she retrieves her memories at the beginning of her 19th life, she remembers about being in a car accident with a little boy named Seoha. So far, they don’t really explain to us what was their relationship exactly. This time around, she was born in a poor family with an alcoholic father that gambles and she makes herself appear as a child prodigy thanks to the skills she learnt in her past lives.

Ji-eum wants to find Seoha to find out if he’s still alive, so she goes to visit a lady owning some sort of restaurant I guess. She used to be her uncle in her 17th life and she raised her. The lady doesn’t really believe her and wonders why she wants to borrow that money. So she tells her about her encounter with Seoha as Juwon in her 18th life. Their moms were friends and Seoha made her feel like a child instead of an adult remembering all her previous lives. So the lady agrees to give her the money so she can try to find him.

She gets to Seoha’s house and remembers how she died in a car crash. Seoha couldn’t hear what she told him before she died because he lost his hearing momentarily. None one answered at the door when she rang the bell. At Seoha’s mom’s funeral, she promised to stay by his side. Since no one answers, she climbs over the fence and gets to the house. Security isn’t very good at that place if a kid can get in that easily. After climbing up a tree, she confirms Seoha is still alive. Once she found him, she kept following him around without revealing herself until the day he disappeared. She also grew closer to Aegyeong (past life niece).

Anyways, she studies hard to get hired by MI group, Seoha’s father’s company. However, she can’t get to meet him again still because he’s away in Germany. Since he doesn’t seem to want to come back to South Korea, she wants to be transferred to the Germany division. But as she’s recruited by Daehwan groupe and rejects their offer again, she learns that Seoha went to the hotel (owned by MI group) which belonged to his mom. She rushes over there and they they meet in front of the aquarium. Then she follows him to the pool and asks the same question as when she met him as Juwon, but he tells her that area is restricted to employees only.

Seoha wants to restore his mom’s hotel, so Ji-eum applies to transfer to his team, even though she’s over-qualified for the job. At first, he didn’t want to give her an interview, but his assistant convinces him otherwise. He kind of wants to send her away because the work might not be what she expects, but then she asks to instead date her if he’s unsure. Haha. This Ji-eum is a little more expressive than the one from the Webtoon so far, but I think it might be fun actually.

And that’s all for today’s episode. It’s a little different than the Webtoon so far, but not enough to bother me much. I actually think that this might be fun. I might compare a little more than I react sometimes, since I already know the gist of the story, but we’ll try to be objective and judge it as its own creation.

#see you in my 19th life #shin hye sun #ahn bo hyun #ha yoon kyung #ahn dong goo #kdrama #k-drama #korean drama #drama review #drama recap #drama reaction

[jacquelinemerritt]

Aladdin, and changing the expectations of the Disney Renaissance

Originally posted September 27th, 2014

And now, to appease the Robin Williams fandom. And piss off the Aladdin fandom. I’m going to enjoy this week.

See, Aladdin is not a great film. It’s an entertaining animated spectacle, and it touches on all those little feel good notes a (Hollywood) film is supposed to touch on, but it doesn’t do anything particularly new or particularly well. There is only one aspect of this film that I would qualify as “great,” and that would be Robin William’s performance. But I’ll get into that soon enough.

Aladdin

Aladdin was the most successful animated film of all time at its release. It received critical praise, and was the highest grossing animated film of all time until The Lion King’s release. it also marked a departure from the storytelling precedent set by the previous two films of The Disney Renaissance, as I’ve mentioned before. That departure is the reason that I love this film; if Aladdin had not deviated from the precedent set by The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast, we wouldn’t have gotten The Lion King, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and Tarzan, which all ultimately told much more interesting stories than these first three films of the Renaissance.

Also, no, this week I am not comparing Aladdin to The Prince of Egypt. I’ll be back to that format when I do Mulan two weeks from now. I needed a break from talking about the same thing four weeks in a row.

Characters and Characterization

Aladdin is not a bad character. Neither is Jasmine. Or Jafar. Or Iago. Or the Sultan. But all of these characters are simple. They have no real complexity (Genie is the only character with a unique and interesting character arc).

Let’s look at Aladdin. He’s a dashing rogue with a heart of gold. But without any of the interesting roguish characteristics. He is a sanitized Byronic Hero, who has had every aspect of his life’s struggle (in this case, poverty) watered down so that he is completely unoffensive.

Jasmine fares a little better than Aladdin. She has a number of interesting tropes that apply to her, but she’s ultimately defined by two things: her unwillingness to conform to her father and society’s expectations about marriage, and her romance with Aladdin. She’s still better than anyone but Genie though, since she plays a much more proactive role than even our title character (because while Jasmine’s actions spur the plot along, Aladdin’s actions are primarily reactions to her actions, Jafar’s actions, and Genie’s actions).

Jafar is also better than Aladdin for the same reason: his actions and decisions work to drive the plot forward. Jafar is still simple though; he wants (unlimited) power for no reason other than self-entitlement, and he wants Jasmine (primarily as a path to gaining that power).

Iago works well enough, primarily because his job is to provide comic relief. Gilbert Gottfried does this very well (though the show in this category is once again stolen by Genie), and despite Iago’s lack of agency, watching his reactions to the events of the film is entertaining.

The Sultan is just bad. He’s a complete idiot. He doesn’t know how to relate to his daughter, he hasn’t dealt with the clearly major poverty in his kingdom, and he trusts Jafar (maybe chalk that up to Jafar’s magic, but honestly, it seems like the kind of power that only works on the weak minded (otherwise why would Jafar disguise himself to convince Aladdin to go to the Cave of Wonders, or convince Jasmine to marry him by hypnotizing the Sultan?)). He’s also primarily reactive (and even then his actions are almost worthless), and we never see the Sultan do anything to take control of his kingdom, or try to understand Jasmine better. I really don’t like this character, if you couldn’t tell.

All that said, the Genie is perfect. Robin Williams plays this hilarious, pop culturally relevant deity trapped in eternal servitude to whomever happens upon his “itty bitty living space.” The charisma that Williams brings to the Genie is astounding. Through this character we see a complex look at immortality, omnipotence, and the nature of forced servitude.

The brilliance of that introduction cannot be put into words. Robin Williams brings his A-game, and we get to meet one of the most lovable characters in any animated film.

If only the other characters came even a little close to his brilliance, this would be a much better film.

I’m not bashing any of the other actors though. This is an issue I have primarily with the writing. Linda Larkin, Scott Weinger, and Jonathan Freeman all do solid jobs as Jasmine, Aladdin, and Jafar, respectively. Even Douglas Seale manages to make the Sultan’s foolishness tolerable by playing up the “loveable oaf” side of his character. But the issues with these characters start with their almost total lack of agency.

“But [Jacqueline], doesn’t the Genie also have a lack of agency, since he is bound to only do whatever his master wishes?”

Yes. He is. And that is brilliant.

Themes

The strongest theme of the film is the dichotomy between power and agency. And this theme is pulled off perfectly by Genie’s arc.

Genie begins as an omnipotent deity unable to use any of his power for himself. Since (we can assume) the beginning of time, he has only been allowed to use his power to grant the wishes of his masters. As he mentions, the only way for him to gain his freedom is for his master to wish for it, which has clearly never happened.

Genie’s lack of agency doesn’t bring him down though. He’s still incredibly upbeat and energetic, and does everything he can to make his master happy (probably as an effort to get them to empathize with him, and increase his chances of being released). And this time, it works. By treating Aladdin as a friend, and not just a master, Genie is able to convince Aladdin to grant him freedom at the end of the film. He finally gains agency of his own, and is able to live out the rest of eternity as a free deity.

This theme is executed phenomenally in the character of Genie. But it is missing, and fundamentally flawed in regards to almost every other character. The Sultan never uses either his power or agency in any way. Iago has absolutely no power or agency. Aladdin, having very little power or agency, only ever uses either to react to the situations other characters put him in. And Jafar wields a ridiculous amount of both magical and political power, while having nearly unlimited agency.

The only character whose arc builds off this theme in any way is Jasmine. Jasmine has a good bit of agency, but very little power. The expectations of both her father and society keep her locked in the palace, with her only visitors being potential suitors, her father, and Jafar. She, however, gets the final say on whether a suitor is acceptable or not, and after seeing a particularly pathetic suitor, she decides that she doesn’t want to be locked in the palace anymore. So she leaves.

She’s ultimately brought back to the castle, but even that is her own decision, since she only reveals herself to the guards when they arrest Aladdin. Unfortunately, after that point in the story, Jasmine has most of her agency removed. The closest she comes to regaining it is when she acts as if Genie had made her fall in love with Jafar in order to distract him, but because the rest of the film focuses on the love story between her and Aladdin, we don’t get to see this theme further developed with her.

Animation

This is a Disney Animated Feature. So it looks great. And the fact that it’s animation means that Genie’s magic is able to look as grand as possible.

I feel like that scene speaks for itself.

Music

I hate A Whole New World.

So. Goddamn. Much.

Sure, it accomplishes it’s purpose. It lets us take the place of Jasmine and join her on a magic carpet ride around the world. And as a result, we’re supposed to fall in love with Aladdin right along with her, since he took us on this adventure.

But the purpose of the song works contrary to the best theme of the film. It forces Jasmine to give up her agency so that she can be swept off her feet by this wonderful prince, when earlier, her agency was central to her falling in love with this street rat, and him falling in love with her. Sure, Aladdin saved her in the market, but Jasmine paid him back quickly by appealing to her father when he was captured. Even though she was powerless to do anything, her agency in trying to save him was crucial in establishing her feelings for him. And this song takes it away so we can go on a cheap thrill ride meant as the Grand Romantic Gesture that inevitably wins Jasmine over (my hatred for the Grand Romantic Gesture is a topic for another post, however).

Other than that song, no complaints. The music is used to great effect to sell the grandiosity of the tale and of Genie’s magic. See the video above for the perfect example.

The Verdict

This film deserves praise for securing the legacy of the Disney Renaissance. It was Aladdin’s success that allowed the Renaissance to continue for years afterwards, giving us some truly amazing animated films.

But that doesn’t remove the fundamental flaws of Aladdin. It’s two-bit characters and lack of dedication to it’s best theme are sins that I cannot forgive. Despite that, I still love watching this movie, and singing along with its (mostly) perfect soundtrack.

And I’ll never forget Genie, either.

Next week, I’ll be taking a break from the Disney Renaissance in order to do a collaborative post with a fellow film critic. Our topic will be The Greatest Western of All Time. And I will be arguing in favor of No Country for Old Men, the best film I have ever seen.

If you liked this, consider supporting me on Patreon, or donating to my Ko-Fi.

#disney #disney renaissance #aladdin #film criticism #robin williams #jasmine #disney princess #gilbert gottfried #sep 27 2014 #god okay #where to begin with this one #obviously i have to start with the wildly unnecessary hot takes #because aladdin is not a bad movie #it's a pretty good movie #and i rather like it #also my analysis here is just missing so much #like i think i do a decent job conveying the themes of genie's story #and how it is an exploration of agency #but then not even think about how jasmine is a character will a lot of power but limited agency #and aladdin is a character with no power but a lot of agency #who can explore the world and act as he pleases #something amplified when he runs into Genie #a character with unlimited power and absolutely no agency #and how transforming aladdin into prince ali increases his power #but fundamentally decreases his agency #there is clearly a lot to dig into here and i just dropped the ball big time

[astrobei]

1, 2, 6, 19 & 20!!

hi irene !! omg these look so fun !!

1. song of the year?

ok Again i’m not sure if this means the one i listened to most this year statistically or just one i rly resonated with the most this year and one of these is a much harder question LOL according to spotify the song i listened to most was fireproof by one direction just bc it’s a song i play in the background a lot while working! it’s got a rly nice rhythm that works for my brain so that’s probably why it’s so high up jskdjsjd but a song that resonated w me most this year. god that’s rly hard. i listened to talk me down by troye sivan pretty constantly on loop for the whole year and if u Had to make me choose a song that like. summed up 2022 for me it would be this. just one of my comfort songs and i come back to it a Lot <3

2. album of the year?

i answered this one earlier but bc i am indecisive i will give two more answers! (for my fav album that came out this year and also one i just really enjoyed) um superache by conan gray came out 3 days after i got broken up with so. yeah it’s imprinted itself into my brain forever! my favs off of it are (as of rn) footnote, memories, and family line/the exit are tied :^) and as for another one i just really listened to a lot this year it would probably be sawayama by rina sawayama because i’m a pop girl to my bones and this album is just chefs kiss ZERO skips !! listened to it a lot through the spring n summer especially !!

6. episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you?

ohhh this is good one ok so i finally watched all of attack of titan this year and my life was changed Forever. i think my favorite episode is actually that three episode arc in season 3 (episodes 16-18) because holy. shit. i could talk about this show for hours on end so i’ll spare you but i think this is probably the episode/series of episodes that stood out the most for me this year it was just so well done and a 10/10 all around and i won’t spoil anything for people who haven’t watched but. iykyk

19. what’s something you’re excited for this year?

i answered this one earlier too but i’ll answer it again! uh i honestly don’t have Too Much planned up front for 2023 but i am going to try and Read More and my winter quarter is (tentatively) looking less crazy than my fall quarter did so i’m excited to try and take a little more time for myself! (maybe) that’s probably a Small Thing but whatever. it’s important to Me :^))

20. what’s something you learned this year?

ohh i could probably go on for a while about this but i’ll just pick one for now! i definitely learned to put myself out there more and that it can be rly rewarding to step out of ur comfort zone !! with fics and stuff of course but there are also so many friends i made this year in the community i never would’ve met if i hadn’t messaged them despite being so scared everyone secretly hated me LOL and also stuff like my job! i almost didn’t apply because i was convinced i wasn’t qualified enough and i literally got hired two days later KSKSJF anyways trying new things even if i second guessed myself was super rewarding this year and i’m not Great at it yet but if i could go back in time and tell past suni to do this earlier i would bc it would’ve made a lot of shit earlier for me tbh .

#thank u for these asks omg i had sm fun w these irene <3 #happy new year ao3 user beansie love u so much!! #/ask

[digicamdiariesbynik]

"Beyond Job Fairs: My Unconventional Networking Adventure"

New Place, New Culture, New People. Starting all over again in a new country as an international student is never easy. For the past 8 months my journey here in George Brown college has been a wonderful roller coaster, I’ve managed not only to learn about digital marketing but also about myself and what career choices has intrigued me enough to desire to pursue them.

Wendy Greenwood’s Digital Media Marketing seminar class has helped made me realize the endless possibilities I have about the digital marketing industry. As the months passed by, I’ve come to realize that sometimes there is no straight path to get to your goal, and often times the goal that you’ve set might not always be something you’ve previously considered.

During our our seminar class, one speaker stood out to me and that was, Danielle Humilde. Now was there anything special about her career story compared to the others? Not really, but what made her stand out to me was how she told her story. It wasn’t just like “oh hey I worked here and there and I was the team lead here and there” but more on the lines of “ I struggled and there were obstacles I didn’t expect to encounter before getting to where I am now”. Danielle showed us the less glamorous side to her journey which honestly made me feel relieved, especially as someone who has been getting job rejections and is still unsure of what career choice to fully commit to.

Building a Network

More often than not, finding a job in the industry is about who you know. Anyone can learn the skills needed to be qualified for any job.

During my time here in Toronto, I’ve learned to be more outgoing, one of the things I always tell myself is to go to “that” event when I’m free even if feel tired. I tell myself this constantly to not miss opportunities to create memories and meet new people, and anyways if by then you don’t like the event you’re in, you can always go home but at least you know.

My journey in networking is not the most conventional, Did I go to Job Fairs? Of course I did! Was I successful? Well...it depends on how you look at it. Trying to connect with people through LinkedIn and Job Fairs was not easy, I found myself not really connecting with the people who were there. It was like there was this wall between us that I couldn’t push through, I felt like I couldn’t be myself when I was there.

It was honestly discouraging, after those events were over, it made me think like maybe I’m not meant for the corporate world or that my credentials weren’t good enough to be remembered or noticed by other people.

After a few days of feeling down...it finally happened.

Sometimes building a network happens in places you least expect them too. Now I’ve mentioned that I always tell myself to go to every event I can, but I also meant this leisurely.

It’s kind of a funny story, and I actually once got referred to a job through this, and it all happened through a Taylor Swift and Olivia Rodrigo Party.

As someone who treasures her alone time, this always makes me laugh, This happened the same day I tried my luck in networking, and again the same result. As I was scrolling on Instagram, I found an ad about this party. I really didn’t feel like going since I had a long day, but my roommate convinced me, told me “you can always rest tomorrow” and so we both went. Was I glad I did, not only was the night fun, but most importantly in this one night, I connected with so many people more easily than I did during those Job Fairs I attended too.

One of the reasons I think it made me more at ease was that I wasn’t busy trying my best to network with them. I talked with them how I wanted to, the discussions we had were discussions that were wanted and engaging, and with this I went home from that party with Fifteen new connections which would then turn to Fifteen new friends, which gave me more opportunities and more people to tell me about new events, new job hirings, and new people to meet.

There are times where I think, what would happen if I never went to that party? Though at that time I didn’t consider this as a way to network but a way to make new friends. This is where I had the most success in. So my advice to you dear readers:

Rejection is a normal thing, don’t take it to heart.

Don’t overthink it

Go to events that actually interests you!

[fishboneart]

Fishbone #001

I might do maybe little artjournal reflection blogs about process and feeling, maybe for every fishbone, maybe not, but I'll tuck them under a readmore when I do

So this is where it starts. 42 source images, 47 layers. I manually isolated all 36 of those fucked up hands and I complained about it the WHOLE time. I even made jokes about wishing the computer would do it for me, and I know I probably could actually get an app for that, but the point is to do it myself. Also like, what if it fixed them? That would be worse.

I like the idea of a creature in the machine that gets really excited about teeth, fingers, legs, because it doesn't have them. It made something for you, a deer with five legs, a pony tail, and fractal antlers. It got so hype about the antlers. I made you this, I made you this, I made you this.

That's not at all how this works, see my previous post re statistics and teeth, it's somewhere near the bottom. But that's the story I put in the collage. That, and its "mind" is a complex repeating pattern, but then again aren't we all.

I've rapidly developed a perverse appreciation for the defects in ML images. The person who posted the gem girl expressed disappointment about the artifact over the eye as a glitch that ruined the image, I thought it was her best feature. Without it she'd be just another bland, vapid, shiny, girl-shaped arrangement of pixels. And hey if you want to make bland vapid shiny girl-pictures, life your life as you see fit. I just think she's more interesting with a glitch. Different strokes.

The T&A guys don't care about fucked up hands and shit, as long as the T's and A's are improbably large and perfectly spherical they're happy. I find so many interesting artifacts in their pics. I saw one a while back where the guy was like "ignore her third leg lol" and she had two navels. They're doing wonders for my sense of anatomy and proportion, because they've never heard of either and they don't care, and apparently looking at enough of that weirdness is helping me to see how it's wrong.

Anyway, I reckon Andrew "holy shit that's his real name" S‎pi‎t‎tle is blowing smoke up Matt "poast moar" Photo's ass. The statement from Andrew "8 years a Happiness Engineer" S‎p‎itt‎‎le, Mattland head of AI, and the leaked FAQ section I sure hope he had to approve in his capacity as same, display less understanding of how machine learning works than I possess, and I only started really learning about it fucking yesterday. I don't know how he got this job but I am convinced he's not a machine learning researcher. He's seemingly never published anything about machine learning, not on his blogs, not on his medium, not on the internet under his own name, nor publicly claimed a single relevant credential. "Happiness Engineer" is Mattspeak for "customer service" btw. No shade to CS workers, I've been one of those, but it doesn't qualify me for head of the department of fuck or shit.

I hereby promote myself to Fishbone Head of Going the Fuck to Bed.

#art journal

[nerdy-hyperfixations]

“They’ll ask something, or I’ll say something stupid and then- and then they’ll know! They’ll know and- what am I doing!?” “I was still so scared I could barely move my arm. I was so terrified I would let [Elias] down…” -Martin Knife Blackwood

I finally have a job and I relate so much to Martin in this episode. I am in a constant state of anxiety, worrying that I’m doing everything wrong and that I’m letting down my employer by being such a terrible employee. I feel like a fraud. I feel extremely under qualified… for my entry level job. And I didn’t even lie on my resume! (…because I don’t have one 😅)

My supervisors recently said that they recommended me to work a specific position this weekend while we’re busy because they think I’m very good and efficient at it. And I gaped because I had convinced myself that I was the absolute worst and I was constantly messing up and they were probably trying to keep me as far away from doing it as possible because they didn’t want me bankrupting them with my ineptitude. I was so astonished that they thought I did a good job. (They’ve also literally said nothing but compliments about my performance but I’m still so anxious that any second now they’ll realize I’m doing everything wrong and fire me immediately)

#personal post (?) #I don’t know what I should tag this with #is it about Martin? #sure I guess why not #martin blackwood #mag 170 #I’ve convinced myself that my managers think I’m dying because why else would they go out of their way to be nice to me lol #I say finally have a job as if theatre isn’t basically a job that doesn’t pay me #them bitches make me pay them so I can work my ass off lol #jkjk I love my theatre class… kinda