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levisgirll · 3 years

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oki it me again uWu back with another request because I really enjoyed the first one!!!💗💗 couldn't find the exact words to phrase this but what about aomine (from Kuroko no basuke) as your boyfriend in university. I look forward to what you will write!!

𝐀𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐔𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

text: hello again!! thank you so much for reading my posts and the fact that you like them makes me happy c: 💗💗 I'm glad you enjoyed the other request so, I hope you enjoy this! (also, aomine is my second fav in knb ^^ he's just so attractive oml-)

synopsis: aomine daki, the great basketballer player at your university is your boyfriend! how is it like to have aomine as your boyfriend though? and how does he act with you? (get ready for this-)

Once Aomine is your boyfriend, get ready cause this guy will show off and flex a lot when it comes to you. Whenever you stay and watch his practices, he flexes a lot with his back muscle and he would turn around if YOU saw that. You are just sitting there, all blushed while covering your face, "Oh god, this idiot..."

Sometimes, the basketball club would invite student for 'Learning the basics of Basketball' and the first person he wants to invite is, of course, his girlfriend. While he is waiting for her, he would just sit in the bench and lots of people go to him for help, but he would ignore everyone and say he is tired and to leave him alone. But once he sees you, y/n, entering he is all energetic and comes running to you. "Aomine, let me change wait" , "But darling, I was waiting for like 10 minutes...you have to make up for that."

Once everyone leaves and its just you two, he gets all hyped up cause he loves it when you are alone with him. He gets extra clingy towards you and keeps on hugging you and you can feel his tensed muscular body. "Sweetheart, you looked amazing today."

Okay but this guy, would fuck up and beat any guy that even showed any sort of disrespect. He is not standing there with a glare or bumping into them if someone laughs, or says something mean to you. He will go up to that person and hold them up while saying "Okay, you started this. Come here." You have to stop him before he gets physical towards them, "Aomine! Stop!! They just said to me to move". "Yea, 'Move you', what the fuck is that? Asshole, learn some manners! Do you know who you even spoke to!"

This guy is smart, so he knows all your university spots, so don't be surprised if you see him out of nowhere. "Hey its that guy! He is always following you!" Kagami would yell out, "Fuck, you have some stalker Y/N" Kagami would say while glaring at him, he was your university best friend. "That's my b-boyfriend."

Your man will also buy you a lot of snacks, and if you say you skipped breakfast. He is dragging you to the university café and will force you to eat after he buys you food.

Oh my god, your boyfriend loves to tease you A LOT. Like there wont be a day he wont tease you. If you somehow changed up your hairstyle, he will make a huge scene. "No WAY! Sweetheart, you look so good! Wow, that's my GIRL! You all heard that??!"

Aomine makes you laugh like crazy, and there also wont be a day he wont make you laugh. He just loves it whenever he hears your beautiful laugh and small giggles, he founds it so cute and you really warm his heart whenever he hears that.

He will never forgive himself if he ever made you upset or cry. Aomine will probably think about it the whole day and he will keep spamming you "I'm sorry" multiple times. If you don't reply back, he would come to your lecture hall and he is gonna make a scene. "Y/N I SAID IM SORRY!"

You definitely boost his ego, like crazy. Whenever he feels low before a match he would call you and he just wants to hear his girlfriends voice motivating him. "Aomine, don't worry you got this! Besides, didn't you tell me the only one who can beat you...is you?" "Fuck, you are right. Darling, I'm gonna win this and I'll come and hug u after this match. Wait for 20 minutes" And he actually does it.

This guy sticks with his words, so if you tell him meet up at 2 pm. He is there at 2pm waiting for you. If he says he will do literally anything for you, he fucking will.

Once he got, really upset and emotional and he said to you during a call at midnight. "Y/N, Dont leave me like how everyone does.". You then recalled about him telling you about this past and how his old teammates left him, so you would say "I wont, I'm your girlfriend aren't I?" And he is up on his bed all hyped hearing that, "Can I see you now!" "Aomine it's 2am and I have a quiz tomorrow bye, shutting my phone love you!" But this guy wont leave you and spam you in EVERY social media. "Nice try, but I know you have discord on your laptop. Wait, I see you online I'm calling you now."

One time, he came to your huge lecture hall and he sat right next to you, and he would just turn and look at you, focusing on what you are doing, and play around with your stuff and hair. "Aomine, I am trying to focus!" You say all blushed and can't even write anything on your notebook. "Of course, cause you are focusing on me right? Sweetheart, I know, I know I am great." Now you wanna smack him.

Whenever he sees you, he gives you that hot smirk of his and it gives you butterflies. "Ha! Wow literally everything I do, you love it don't you?" . Y/N then turns to him and gives a small chuckle, "Don't get ahead of yourself, Aomine." He then goes near you and lays his arm on your shoulder, bring you closer and he would whisper to your ear "Why not? your my girl so, I want to impress you."

You both love it whenever you guys hold hands around university, this guy is really tall so you always feel so relaxed and also great when your boyfriend squeezes your hand, and walks you to your lecture. "Okay now try to focus on your lecture and not your mind all about me alright?"

He actually loves it when you cheer for him and that really boost not only his ego but rather his self-confidence. "Y/N! I'm gonna win this match for you!" He would yell out during the match and everyone is looking at you.

He would go for academic help for you sometimes and you guys meet up in the library to study. You are the reason he passed some subjects, don't get me wrong, he is intelligent but super lazy.

His wallpaper is a selfie of you both and he looks at that before every match. He sometimes pecks his phone when he finds a picture of you.

Speaking about his phone, this guy has a folder with just you, all your pictures, screenshots of chats, even screen records of your voice notes and videos. He just loves you dearly, and he gets so fucking mad if someone touches or even goes near that gallery. He protects that with all his life, your pictures are important and he is not the type of guy to show his friends your pictures, in fact he hates that! "My folder, my girl, and no one gets to see that. Go away."

Whenever he is bored or isn't doing nothing, he would open his phone, and check every social media app to see your online status. "Oh OH, I see you online darling! Answer me, wanna go out and get ice cream? Please say yes."

He is actually such a great motivator and brings your mood up whenever you feel like giving up during university. He won't allow that, like never. "What so you will just give up? Stop? After all this time, you let this one test fuck you up? Don't you dare let that bring you down, you idiot." He actually even inspires you.

Before you go for the whole day cause you had to work on your report he would say "Smile for me one last time?"

When he sees you from afar, he would yell out and say "That's my girl! Don't move, I'm coming for you!" And this guy jumps at you with his embraces and sometimes picks you up. "L-Love put me down!!"

He actually loves teasing you like that in public, he wants everyone to know that are are HIS girl and his only.

He messages you during his practices and even would skip practice to see you.

Y/N: Oh you don't have practice today?

Aomine: Nope! And besides, I am the captain so doesn't matter. (He is not the captain- its akashi but lies)

He says that and then goes on how he knows everything about basketball and the team and he keeps doing that till you can compliment him ‘Please Y/N say anything’ he would think and you know that but tease him back not saying anything.

*meanwhile in his basketball groupchat*

Kise: aomine, WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?!

Akashi: Probably ran off to see his girl.

Atsushi: Whatever, my chance to leave and eat outside.

Kuroko: Can I join you?

Atsushi: No.

You would treat his injuries and he would just sit there, looking at you with a smirk.

Aomine: "Oh yea, here even hurts darling!"

Y/N: "Love....you are lying aren't you?"

Aomine: "What! No!...Maybe?"

You let out a sigh "Ah, you are an idiot...stop hurting yourself all the time." He would suddenly lift your chin up and say "You know...that I love you yea? You also better tell me everything and if you need help, just say it" He can be really soft and sweet sometimes, but he gets all cringy and shy about it and he gets up rubbing the back of his head. "I-I mean that's what a boyfriend does right?! Come on, get up I'm taking you out."

Okay, I hope you enjoy this and anyone who did! Aomine is such a dork but a sweetheart and I can see most of this happening :,)

If anyone enjoyed reading this, please then leave a like or a reblog! It means a lot and have a great day <3

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giotanner · 3 years

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Art Theft and Bullying in The Old Guard Fandom

Hey TOG fandom! Do you know that stealing art is a crime? Do you have a problem with bullying (“because that poc muslim artist deserves!11!” based on a random tumblr post) within Discord servers? You do?... then read on.

Please grab some cookies and tea (and get comfortable!) and read on. This is a SERIOUS matter that I, as an outsider, was able to see WITHOUT being influenced by anyone else. I am not friends with any of the people involved here, although after these events I have empathy towards them.

I’m telling you this so you won’t be able to say to me "you are allied with/you are influenced by"... That is not the case. I have facts and evidence, so please read! I will be talking about ART THEFT, BASHING, REPOSTING, AND DISGUSTING BULLYING BEHAVIOUR towards a person who is not even in the server. As a fellow fanartist I feel so bad because “this artist deserves it” in their mind.

(Now: apparently there is a part of the beautiful The Old Guard fandom that thinks: the characters and people’s headcanons are more important rather than an actual person's well-being, and with every new illustration by the artist, they are badly spoken of. Because… ugh, why not?)

I talked about facts, so here’s one:

If you joined this server (there are a couple servers with this name, please don't get mad at the wrong one - note the icon!) The first thing you know is: karanoidandroid is a racist and a homophobe… in their opinion. People and also these mods think this because of some posts on tumblr by white people. AH.

Why? Hearsay, bimbi belli. If you go to this artist's page you won't find a single racist thing (the artist is literally a POC who is brown and a Muslim. How? - you may say- What? Ah yes, she must be under "white influence! 11 !! bad POC !!" and who says that? Ah right, a white person. Or another POC with a different experience. wtf we have so many experiences, how can you say ‘you’re racist’ to a POC about this? Just because this artist’s preference is a different sex position, and no one is trying to force you to like it, eh!)

And from here on out... hatred. Terrible and personal hatred that has spread like wildfire. EVERYWHERE. Even people who know nothing about this fandom know that this artist is "racist and homophobic". Only.Because.Of.Hearsay.

So what did this artist do, you ask? She created a safe place on discord, away from tumblr. For people who like top!Joe. Don’t you like it? GOOD FOR YOU. That’s fantastic. We should as a fandom respect everyone's preference. This server was simply made so people could get away from tumblr and the drama and bullying. That’s it.

But did they leave this artist alone? No. The gossip had infected this fandom by now. It is now a "fact": this artist is x and y, you know. Because a couple people spread that, knowing nothing about the artist other than she was making a server they didn’t like.

Because THEY decided it. Because this artist decided not to fight and leave and you weren't satisfied with that.

Let’s BULLY a Muslim POC because we disagree with their views IN FANDOM! Because someone’s views on a CHARACTER are more important than an actual person, right? (According to sources who wished to remain anon, I know for sure the mod is white. A white mod is bullying and stealing the art of a brown Muslim woman because their views on FANDOM are different)

How?

READ these screenshots. They were posted a couple days ago. EVERY FUCKIN’ TIME this artist posted an art… they bully her. (So yeah, it’s NOT the first time)

No source, no link, no name. It was posted by a Mod (in blue) and the point is: a rule of this group is “don’t steal art/don’t put art without source” BUT HEY- WE’RE MODS and this artist deserves it!11!!1!)

This poc muslim artist didn’t insist on “top!joe only”. It’s just her preference, you know? I don’t care about people’s preferences. If you want to read more about how racial issues have somehow gotten involved in sexual position preferences, check out this post by +lgbtq poc with a degree in Medieval Islamic History x (note: his blog is gone (bullying again!) so the link is to a reblog)

“Where is the source?’ a person asks. They don’t want to put the source and THEY’RE THE MODS, they made that the R U L E.

But you already know, again only by hearsay: “the artist is homophobic and top!joe is full of bullshit”. (A mantra - but they’re NOT IN THE SERVER to know. It’s an assumption) What bullshit? I dunno. I’ve been on tumblr for the past few months and I read everything, and what I read is just a preference, not racism. But they went to the artist saying “you can’t”. Just because they have a different opinion. A ‘woke opinion’ against a POC Muslim artist. Well.

You don’t like her preference? Again: BRAVO. Amen, that’s okay. But it’s not “end of story kiss kiss”.

If you steal and you put a drawing without source… it’s not a joke anymore, do you know this mods? Even if you don’t like the artist or agree with all of her opinions, THEFT IS THEFT. There’s no excuse for it, especially if their excuse is saying the artist ‘deserves’ it.

Discord community Guidelines:

#1 Do not organize, participate in, or encourage harassment of others.

#17 You may not share content that violates anyone's intellectual property or other rights.

Anyway the artist deserves their art to be stolen ONLY BECAUSE OF HEARSAY everyone knows that she is..? (chorus: racist and homophobic!) And this was decided by white people and is now being used to bully a POC Muslim.

BRAVI! Have a biscuit!

You’re bashing and bashing and bashing and bashing for MONTHS, so now you don’t know the truth, but only this… because /this/ it’s common knowledge.

Stealing art and trying to say that's okay because they’ve decided that someone they don't know is racist doesn't change the fact they stole is disgusting. Then saying it’s just a joke? wow, the audacity.

The point of all this is clear: Since I hate this person/I have this immeasurable hatred towards this artist from posts that other people have made about her THEN I am a mod so I can do it, I am allowed to steal her art, bash the artist and mock her in other comments and every time this person just… exists.

THESE ARE THE FACTS. I have so many screenshots. Thanks to some people I know within the discord. This is only ONE day. It has happened before.

Why “that artist and linking her blog would break multiple server rules and make numerous people uncomfortable?” Ah, yes, c’mon you know… I know you know! (Chorus: Because the artist is racist and homophobic… even though they’ve never spoken to her, and are literally bullying a POC Muslim and refusing to source art)

Well, yeah, Without proof. Just “common knowledge and the same old “by hearsay” on tumblr. By ‘woke’ people and then it was shared by people like me or you if you don’t know the story.

And how did this story end? They stole the drawing. They put the stolen illustration in a group of TWO HUNDRED and SEVENTY PEOPLE and said “oops, i did it again” and they refuse to link the source. It’s stealing. And it’s serious. It’s terrible because they are bashing this artist all the time.

TO REITERATE

1.They STOLE an artist’s work and laughed about it, which is bullying and against their own rules. This has happened more than once with this artist.

2. When they were called out, they bullied the person calling them out.

3. When they didn’t like that they were called out, THE PEOPLE (yellow and green) CALLING THEM OUT WERE KICKED OUT OF THE SERVER, despite art theft and bullying being against the server rules. Again, the rules that they made.

Regardless of what you think of the artist, stealing art sets a dangerous precedent for future fandoms. If someone doesn’t like your opinion does that mean they can steal YOUR art/writing/creations? Because if you think it’s okay for this person’s art to be stolen because you don’t agree with them, that’s basically what you’re saying.

They were cruel. And TOG doesn’t deserve this. I love this movie so much. I love this fandom. I love to make fanarts of Joe and Nicky. Joe is so sweet, full of love, a true warrior and Nicky isn’t an Italian dramaqueen, he isn’t naive, he is kind and a bravo sniper. Two imperfect men, but perfect for each other. A Muslim and a Christian, a white and a brown man. Together. Not stereotyped. Wow, thanks at least for that 2020.

and I hope we can do better, in future.

#the old guard #the old guard fandom #the old guard art #bullying #stealing art in tog fandom #thank you very to all the people who worked HARD for this post #thank you for the informations #please reblog the truth with FACTS and not fake news about an artist only by HEARSAY #you can ask me (but not anon trolls)

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ruby-whistler · 3 years

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Srry but i noticed in one of ur dream posts u Referred to tommy's cat as hope. I must correct u, that cat was born pussbou and died pussboi. /lh Also tommy killing that cat was nothing compared to dream killing mushroom henry in exile btw just wanna say Also for ur posts about dreams trauma or wilbur manipulating him can u provide links to vods or other proof? Srry if i seem rude i mean that in a "genuinely curious way"

Aaa sorry if my ask came off as rude im just genuinely curious :(((

hi! dw, you don't seem rude at all, and i'm extremely happy someone with a different perspective has found my blog! i really appreciate that sort of attitude and am happy to answer :]

/dsmp /rp

the cat was called pussboy by tommy, but dream only called it "the cat" and then said that "it was hope", which is why it sort of became a symbol (his hope is dead, basically) - that's why i kind of made its name capitalized, because it was more of a metaphor than anything.

most c!dream fans call the cat hope because it's just really nice and really symbolic, and also really sad when you think about it. that's why the name was used in the essay, just to clear up the confusion!

tommy killing that cat was nothing compared to dream killing mushroom henry in exile

i don't really think so? mooshroom henry was entertainment more than anything, and even if it was bad, when watching the stream i don't remember seeing him mourn that much - on the other hand, dream was very quickly and very obviously attached to the cat, with it being his only companion in months of isolation, along with the hope that even when tommy left it would keep him company.

keep in mind c!dream has been deprived of stimuli and human contact for so long it's officially classified as psychological torture at that point.

i don't mean to compare trauma or even compare deaths - because honestly, what c!dream and c!tommy have gone through individually is incomparable and i think neither should be diminished in favor of the other since they're both terrible situations.

that's why i disagree that it "was nothing compared to" - it had an obvious effect on c!dream, and was still c!tommy killing an animal specifically to hurt him, no matter what reasons he had.

when i'm talking about effects people's actions have had on c!dream, i'm not talking about those people. i'm talking about him. :) /lh

as for the trauma, a lot of people agree that a lot of the things he says or does are trauma responses, and hence it's very possible that he's had trauma before he went into prison!

this includes being repeatedly called a tyrant via propaganda by about half of your friends who decided to betray you, trying to keep peace and being pushed deeper into villainy instead, repeatedly being put in between a rock and a hard place in order to make sure the people you care about don't start killing each other, then being betrayed by your closest friends after merely trying to keep peace (sapnap & george) and just in general having no control over your life or image and grasping at straws to gain it back.

i know a lot of people with trauma who heavily relate to certain trauma responses, which aren't always just shaky breaths and flashbacks, but trauma often also manifests itself in extremely ugly and destructive ways, both inwardly and outwardly.

trying to control the people around you is also very often a response to going through trauma, as well as emotional repression which is... rather evident on c!dream during season two. it only seems to get worse with repeated abandonment.

in the end, during the vault scene, the way he acts really just isn't at all the way a healthy person would act, and a lot of his really bad mindsets come from the way he was taught by the world around him.

the character is very reserved however, and since we don't have his pov we can't really say for certain - a lot of people claim it in good faith because they have a lot of evidence for it, and i think they're certainly valid in that.

that is just before the prison, however. from what happened during the prison arc? there is no denying he's traumatized at this point.

he's been emotionally and physically abused by c!sam since the very beginning of being imprisoned, and being in solitary confinement for over two weeks is generally considered psychological (and maybe also physical?) torture. that alone shows up in a lot of symptoms of his mental deterioration while in pandora's during people's visits, and quackity's "sessions" just absolutely drove the point home.

what he's gone through during this arc is absolutely incomparable to anything others charactes have faced before, and it's just plain suffering being endured by someone who is, despite everything, still a human being.

as for the wilbur manipulation thing!! it's talking about the whole vassal scene (though even beforehand a lot of their interactions are pretty iffy), and here's a post about that :]

I also have a small question about the analysis u last reblogged cus it says "why dream needed lmanburg gone rightfully" and like. The house analogy is poor because for one cus the land is infinite. And 2 cus punz's yard was literally larger then lmanburg. And also stuff about dream being a mediator? Can u provide examples?

i wouldn't say it was poor. dream's said a lot of times that he didn't care in the slightest about the land - a lot of his problems with l'manberg arose with the fact that wilbur basically built it on lies and tried to disallow half of the server to come there. c!dream was mad about the division and the fact that wilbur wanted "freedom" to have authority in his lands - over others, as can be seen in this post also.

the table analogy was fitting not because dream was some overlord, but because these were literally friends he invited to hang out and live in a place he wanted to call home. claiming a part of it for yourself and saying people of a certain nationality can't come in is directly opposing those goals.

in the early days of the smp, dream's always been a mediator between his friends - sapnap and george, who would often get into fights and go around killing each other! he would always do his best to stop the conflict, which continued after tommy joined when he took him to court and then later tried to mediate conflicts he was a part of, which resulted in tommy killing him unprovoked, stealing his gear, and starting the disc wars when dream was trying to get his stuff back. later, during pogtopia, he is also most concerned with peace over everything, and this seems to continue indefinitely after.

Today i was thinking about how messed up the final control room was. Like. Dream arranged the betrayal and punz and sapnap killed tommy and tubbo who like. Were literal children and their pals (because the author, wilbur soot, is dead/j but srsly if u take the streamers words tommy said he was 9 during the revolution sooo)

Sorry im gonna ramble about how dumb canon ages are for a second cus like. Streamers can say the characters are one way or another (wilbur saying he is mentally 30-something, etc.) But in the end the characters act like they(or at least their streaming personas) do.

i... honestly don't find it that bad? they were in a war, and the final control room was basically just supposed to end it quicker. the l'manbergians made it clear they were going to fight to the death, so they really left c!dream no other choice. and it's not like he didn't give them chances to give up.

also yeah the 9 year old thing was retconned, because in that case c!dream would've been 14 and i don't think that's true.

c!tommy and c!dream were both young and once again, in a war. the final control room was an attempt to assure victory, which both sides would've taken if possible, but only c!dream saw he had the option.

i do agree the whole child soldier thing was bad but... complain about that to c!wilbur, methinks. he talked naive kids into fighting for his personal power. however, the age argument isn't really valid either way. they had enough agency to sign up for it, and whether or not c!wilbur pushing the intense nationalism onto them had something to do with that is another debate entirely.

Bacl to final control room cus like??? Also fun fact punz took 2 of wilbur's canon lives. And like that probably is what started wilbur's paranoia which later lead to his spiral and i. Many thoughts full of lmanburg today.

i'm pretty sure cc!wilbur said what lead to c!wilbur's spiral was a "dark, twister view of possessions" and "disregard for his fellow citizen whom he claimed to love so much", but i really wouldn't say it was the control room; if anything the sudden loss of power after the elections seems to me like the trigger for his spiral.

I watched the exile arc live and. I feel dirty almost for feeling little to no sympathy for c!dream (srry ive been forgetting to add that aa) because of his actions toward c!tommy and like. The whole probation was so humiliating and unfair and c!dream was planning to frame him for the crimes he and puffy did under the the guise of "pranks" and c!quackity was planning to seize the vice president role.

i mean... to be fair, if you didn't watch the prison arc much yet or only watch tommy's perspective i understand not feeling that sympathetic - however, i encourage you to maybe watch a few prison visits, since they could help you see the whole picture better!

i also watched it live, and i also thought it was terrible, but i share very much the same sentiment for the prison arc because. absolutely no one should have to go through either of those things, you know?

i don't think probation was that humiliating? he was just. being asked to not start conflict with the other factions for two weeks. of course, what happened as a result is in no way justified, but i don't think probation itself would've been bad at all. either way yeah the framing and c!quackity's behaviour was. very yikes, i agree.

Also c!tommy antis are dumb because they say "he deserved exile angry emoji" i dont see u saying that about ranboo. Just say you hate cc!tommy and go. Also people say c!tommy was just as toxic to c!dream and i??? No. One is the victim and one is the abuser and like. :/// man. This part is rambly srry

i wouldn't say they hate cc!tommy? cc!tommy has a persona who people think is annoying at first ( but then they subscribe because he is super entertaining big man! ) but a lot of c!tommy's actions are straight up toxic to certain characters, such as c!funndy and c!jack. he has a very dismissive attitude towards others and their trauma and it does affect the people around them very negatively.

examples; his repeated bullying and behavior towards fundy:

Tommy: “Fundy, I’m just here to kinda let you know that I – if you weren’t Wilbur’s son, you would be out of L’manburg, alright? Just remember – you need to keep that relationship with your father. I saw how asshole-y and bratty you were acting in the courtroom the other night. You need to pull your shit together young man.”

......

Fundy: “I’m wearing glasses…are you making fun of my eyesight?!”

Tommy: “Yes.”

Sapnap: “Your father would be very disappointed.”

Fundy: “Wh – disappointed for wearing glasses?!”

Tommy: “You got glasses, like what are you wearing…”

Fundy: “What do you mean?”

Tommy: “Sapnap, Sapnap, over here. Fundy, Fundy, Fundy, I’m really sorry to say this – I’m just here to publicly denounce you.”

Fundy: “…What?”

( credit for transcript: @/findingjoynweirdstuff )

he's also responsible for a big chunk of c!jack's trauma, both with actions and words, and that's why i think certain people might dislike the character, and i don't think that's wrong of them. anyone can dislike any character they want if they don't attack people for liking them, in my opinion.

also c!tommy was most definitely toxic against c!dream in the cell. it's of course understandable but that doesn't change the fact he was constantly hitting and insulting him (without dream doing anything back for a long while until he snapped) which is toxic behaviour.

i wouldn't say he was "just as" though, so i agree with you on that. they're different and they behave differently.

i made a dream blob keychain today. Is it possible to send images if u wanna see? Idk cus i havent used tumblr before. I think that's all for now. Thx for letting me talk :D peepoShy -curious anon (but fr a connoreatspants c!dream redemption arc would be cool)

yooo that's cool! i don't really,,, know if it's possible to send images? try it out and if it isn't i'll try find a way to turn it on.

also, no problem! just please remember this is a c!dream sympathetic blog, and me as well as my followers are uhh,, oftentimes emotionally attached / personally relate to the character, so if you could avoid sending hate on the character (not that you have or that i expect you to, just a friendly reminder) in the asks that would be great! we already see a lot of it unwillingly so, i'd rather not see more, but as long as the discussion is civil i'm absolutely ok with you asking more and with me answering more questions if you'd want to! :)

if anyone else would like to reblog this and add some things i might've missed with my answers, feel free to, just go easy on her (she uses she/her pronouns!) and keep it factual.

i hope u had a good or at least ok time at school today :D

thanks! i gtg now because exam tomorrow but i'm going to try write the redemption essay tomorrow as well because ohhh boy i have a lot of ideas about what all i could write around the concept.

also sorry this was long, i can't keep my tongue on the leash :[

#c!tommy critical #c!wilbur critical #my asks #curious anon #long post #history #tw torture #tw manipulation

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jamminvroomvroom · 2 years

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About my blog tag! I was tagged by @welld0nebaku <33

1. Why did you choose your url?

jammin is a nickname of mine, don’t ask why bc i also do not know lmao, one day it just stuck. and if i have not already made it explicitly clear, i like it when the cars go vroom soooo jammin 🤝 vroom vroom

2. Any side blogs?

nope, i barely have enough brain cells to maintain this one

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

well i had an account for literal years that i was never active on but then i started using it to lurk on f1 lmao so i deleted that blog bc it was just eh no and created this one so i could join f1blr about 6ish months ago???

4. Do you have a queue tag?

wtf is that

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

as i said above, i started using my old blog for f1 stuff but i decided i wanted to be more active and try and find cool people with similar interests to me!! met some wonderful people and have fully immersed myself into f1 hehe

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

well. simulation glitch!lando is something that is so relatable 😌

7. Why did you choose your header?

honestly your guess is as good as mine. the colours fit and daniel is hot lol

8. What's your post with the most notes?

part one of my first fic - monaco

9. How many mutuals do you have?

i don’t know exactly but i have some *chefs kiss* besties

10. How many followers do you have?

230 something??? that’s a ballpark tbh bc why are people following me all i do is shout and thirst

11. How many people do you follow?

70 something???? as you can see numbers are my passion.

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

i am the shitpost.

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

no but there have been close calls lmao. i am a leo.

15. How do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

don’t care for them too much but also i’m not gonna get mad if i see that on my dash. just today i reblogged the creative duck or whatever that was. do what u gotta do is what i am trying to say.

16. Do you like tag games?

i was a tag game virgin but this is fun.

17. Do you like ask games?

i am yet to play one bc who actually asked for my opinion on anything. i mean i still give my opinion unprompted anyways but yk

18. Which one of your moots do you think is Tumblr famous?

it is hard to tell bc once in a while we all pop off for a sec lol. they all deserve to be tumblr famous though if they are not already.

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

i am simply in love with all of you.

I would like to tag @boysthatgovroomvroom @thegirlinthefandoms <33

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xnchxntmxnt · 3 years

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𝐼 𝑊𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑊𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑁𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑀𝑜𝑟𝑒

𝐵𝑜𝑘𝑢𝑡𝑜 𝐾𝑜𝑢𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑜 𝑋 𝐺𝑁!𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

So we spin the wheel of HQ misfortune (yes, I actually have an app with all the characters I feel comfortable writing rn and spin it when I’m out of ideas) (yes it works this is how you guys get your content) and I decided Y’know what. I’m gonna make my friend happy so I made @sugasfanfics a wheel and bam it landed on Bokuto so here you go bro love u hope you like this

This is half self-indulgent half for u Em lol sorry

Remember not only are your problems valid but the way you deal with them is, too (as long as it’s not hurting yourself or anyone else, please don’t do that—). Even if it’s a fictional boy you love, remember that someone always cares about you. I promise.

Kinda half edited lol bad grammar & spelling mistakes.

CW//light swearing

Word Count: 876

Reader Info: GN!Reader, fukurodani third year student

Ao3 link

Masterlist

You’d been on edge the entire day. Who knew how it started, you just felt like hell the whole day and everything got on your nerves. Whether it was kids in class or the volleyball that collided with your shoulder while you were trying to do homework, everything seemed to want to set you off today.

“Dammit,” you curse under your breath, rubbing your shoulder. You hit the ball back to one of the boys, who gladly picked it up with a quick “sorry!” and ran back on the court.

You were at Bokuto’s practice—the two of you were supposed to hang out afterward, but really, you were ready to go home and sleep for several hours. You felt bad canceling, though, so just tried to keep your cool long enough to get through the rest of your evening.

Soon enough, they broke for water and Bokuto came running over to you with a smile on his face. “(Y/N), baby, did you see that AWESOME spike? Didn't I look cool? Akaashi said I look cool!”

“I just said it was good, Bokuto.” Akaashi walked past, clapping him on the shoulder.

“Eh, same difference.” He shrugged. “Did ya see it, (Y/N)?”

“Yeah, it was great, Bokuto.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw his proud drop to a pout. You could have sworn his hair started drooping too. Rarely did you ever call him by his full name—when you did, it usually meant you were mad at him for something.

He sat down next to you, his lower lip sticking out like a child’s. “Baby, did I...do something?” he asked, running his hand through his hair.

“You’re fine,” you sigh. “It’s just...been a long day, alright? Not your fault.”

He nodded solemnly, offering his hand for yours. When you gave it to him, he kissed each of your knuckles, “let me make it up to you when we get to my place, okay? Parents aren’t home tonight, we can cuddle and watch a movie, yeah?”

“Alright,” you reply as he kissed your hand again. “Quit worrying about me and go be my big, strong Ace of Fukurodani, hm?”

Bokuto grinned and nodded. He took a sip of water before running back onto the court, leaving you alone with your thoughts again.

The walk home was less enthusiastic than usual, almost like Bokuto didn’t know what to say. You let him talk as much as he wanted, but he stayed quiet for the most part, watching you intently as you walked.

The two of you walked into his house and took off your shoes. Bokuto offered some food, but you declined, your irritation from earlier sinking into melancholia.

“Alright, what’s wrong?” he asked, setting his school bag down. You opened your mouth to protest—he had homework to do—but he interrupted. “Homework can wait. I’m worried about you, sweetheart. Wanna talk?”

He held your shoulders, checking your face for any sign of what was wrong. He was still more droopy than normal—not his usual excited, eccentric self—and you could tell by his worried expression.

“There isn’t much to say,” you sigh, putting your hand over one of his. “Just...long day, I guess. Burnt out.”

“Do you want a hug?”

“I wouldn’t complain about one.”

He pulled you in close, dropping his arms to wrap around your waist. You laid your forehead on his shoulder, content to stay like that for a long time.

Just as you’d gotten comfy, he started moving, inching you backward until your legs hit the edge of his mattress. He pulled away long enough to crawl in and drag you with him. You laid your head on his chest, feeling his thumb draw shapes into your side.

“What’s really on your mind, love?” he asked, kissing the top of your head. “I get worried when you don’t talk to me. So please do.”

“There’s not even anything specifically right now, I just...I feel like hell. For no reason. I didn’t wanna tell you because I didn’t want you worrying—“

You stopped as he tilted his head up towards you. The look he gave you made you freeze, unsure what else to say. He traced your features, smiling in encouragement. “I am always going to worry about you. That’s my job. I’m your forever-caring, amazing, loving boyfriend and I’m always going to care for you. I want you to talk to me when you feel like hell, even if it’s because you want to scream into oblivion for a while. If that’s the case, I’ll scream with you. Alright?”

“Alright,” you mumble, burying your face in his chest again. “I’ll keep it in mind. Do you want to just...I dunno, lay here? Just for now?”

“I would want nothing more.”

He kissed your head again, the small circles he drew on your arm soothing your cluttered mind. You knew you needed to talk one day—even if it was just the recent stuff without getting into in-depth character analysis of yourself—but for the time being, you knew you had someone there to help you face whatever demons you needed to. Because he always would be.

Your precious, forever-caring, amazing, loving boyfriend, Bokuto Kotaro.

Alright you guys are welcome to scroll through this part just a little rant/apology from me

My brain has not been doing so hot lately so I can’t guarantee a constant posting schedule. I tried posting like 1-2 times a week but this is the first full thing I’ve written in several weeks and I’m sorry about that. It’s like 1:30 am when I’m writing this so this is probably gonna be jumbled up a lot but just.

Brain hates me and I hate brain rn and it says I have No Motivation to do Anything. Only reason I got this out was bc of @sugasfanfics which she doesn’t even know I wrote this till I post it lol

Also this was supposed to be for her but like I said it kinda turned into I’m depressed and need comfort so. Yeah. Bokuto.

I hope you guys enjoyed & I’m sorry about not writing as much as I should be. Thank you for bearing with me and for all the reblogs I can’t tell you how happy they make me.

Sending love to you all <3

~𝑆𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟

#bokuto kotaro #bokuto #akaashi #akaashi keiji #bokuto x reader #bokuto x gn reader #I decided to write this at 1 am rather than sleeping #fml #anyway i hope its good #i hope im not forgetting tags lol #hurt/comfort #angst #angsty fluff #bittersweet #hes a good boyfriend okay #i love this man a lot #//ᴏʀɪɢɴᴀʟ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ #//ᴏɴᴇꜱʜᴏᴛꜱ

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ninbinary · 3 years

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DnD Character Backstory Datapoints - Example 1: Human Orphan Lives Dangerously

Hey, thank you to @kursed-curtain (who tumblr will not let me "@", good application u got here) for reblogging my DnD Character Backstory Datapoints suggestion :) (It goes without saying you could ideas like this for non-RPG character or story generation too, and could add more dice representing different things!)

In thanks, I decided to type up an example of me using it to create a (reallly overly-in-depth -- this is gonna be a long post!) character backstory idea from thin air.

(Let me know if you guys out there like this, and I'll do it again sometime! Also let me know if you use this datapoints-system to create a chararacter (or feel free to use this character backstory), and let me know how it goes!)

A) Human character, Younger (d2 + 1 periods)

(I'll refer to the character as "Character", and I'm not doing anything to bake Character Class in to the story (though I'll talk about that at the end), to try to make this as "generic" as possible!)

A0) number of time periods:

d6 roll of 4 = d2 roll of 2; +1 = 3 time periods.

A1) First Time Period:

d12 = 10 [10/12 Danger]

d10 = 6 [6/10 City]

d8 = 1 [1/10 Species Diversity]

That's an Extremely dangerous time, in a Relatively Urbanized area, with only 1 kind of species. Given that its the First time period for a started-adventuring-younger character, I think my overall summary would be:

"Abandoned Orphan in a Medium-Sized Exclusively-Human City"; they spend their early years with a few slightly-older orphans living in alleys and stealing food.

(Alternatively, other interesting ways you could interpret this: if your gameworld has "bad guy countries / city-states" near your "generally friendly demihuman species", you could do these dice as "orphan human in a [bad guy species] city")

A2) Second Time Period:

d12 = 11 [11/12 Danger]

d10 = 3 [3/10 City]

d8 = 3 [3/10 Species Diversity]

Wow, it's somehow gotten MORE dangerous for poor Human Character; but its also only half as Urban, and they're finally around a few more species of Demihuman. How would moving OUT of the city be MORE dangerous? Well, 'city invaded' is always an option, but because of the other two dice, here's how I'd turn these dice into a story point:

"Character's youth life of petty crime / cutpurse-ing for basic necessities finally ends in trouble so serious that they flee the city / their orphan-gang / the only home and family they've known, and join up with a travelling caravan." Depending on how "dark" you want the character to be, you could take it any number of ways; but let's say you want a Shit-Life-but-Charitable character and go with: one of their pickpocketting sorties goes bad, and as the pack scatters, Character and a close friend get caught in a blind alley by a city guardsman. Character is at the top of a ladder while Friend is scrambling up, but the guardsman is closing in, sword drawn, so Character throws a brick and kills the guardsman. Friend gets away, but before Character escapes, the next wave of guard sees their dead comrade and gets a good look at Character.

Character makes arrangements ASAP to sign on as a caravan guard, calling in favors to get semi-respectable looking leathers (and maybe the dead guards' sword) and a forged letter-of-reference from their gang's fence. Within a nervewracking 24 hours of lying low, Character's friends have managed to sign them on to a caravan, and one last sprint through the city's allies and undermaintained warehouses later, Character is all set. The next morning they're marching out the city gate with a 4-wagon, 15-individual caravan, run by a halfling merchant, taking fancier fabricks and fashionable metalworked jewelry to the more rural human/halfling backcountry outside of the city.

(So, here all the Danger is about the transition TO this period of Less-City, More-Species-Diversity time period). Let's see how it wraps up with Third Time Period:

A3) Third Time Period:

d12 = 10 [10/12 Danger]

d10 = 9 [9/10 City]

d8 = 2 [2/8 Species Diversity]

Oh dear; danger DOES seem to follow poor Character around! We're back to a Lot of danger, in an EVEN BIGGER CITY, around only a Few different species. How should this conclude Character's pre-Adventure story?

Well, since its so dramatic (STILL Danger, BIGGER City!), its going to end with such a bang, you'd probably want to think about where Campaign's going to begin.

(One way to read the Danger is by saying, "the caravan was raided and the survivors were taken prisoner", but how does that result in such a high City number (while the Species Diversity stays pretty low)? For example, if City stayed low, you could have Character be prisoner of a small bandit camp operating out of a wooded area.)

Well (and if this fits with the campaign setting), we could read it this way:

"the Caravan was raided by marauders from Underground-living [Species X], which hasn't been active in this area for decades..." The survivors were taken back through Species X's New Outpost in this region, and then a select few (including Character) were sent to the capital for one of the following unsavory ends (Ritual Sacrifice, or Gladitorial Combat, or Being Eaten at a Feast Celebrating the New Outpost, etc).

Fortunately for Character, one of the Species X jailors becomes sympathetic because.. they take pity on Characters' youth; or because of the Character's brazen tenacity defending a fellow prisoner from the head jailor's abuse [hey, tying back to their killed-a-guardsman moment], or something; and arranges for Character to be smuggled out of Species X City into the surrounding countryside.

(Another Alternative Idea, had One Dice Gone a Different Way: maybe if Species Diversity was higher, the Species X City could have enough different kinds of folks walking around that you could think about letting Sympathetic Jailor take on Character as a servant, apprentice or even adopted child -- albeit temporarily, or else they'd never be a player-character meeting up with the party. But it would definitely be interesting to see what a Human Orphan from the Mean Streets of [Medium-Sized Human City] would be like after spending their formative years as Adoptive Mindflayer Dad's protege).

Anyway, Wrapup:

Now a long way away from their 'home' city and probably home country (remember, they were captured by Species X nearby, but then moved days (or weeks) travel underground to Species X Huge City), Character finds their way to [wherever the Party starts], and will hopefully have a much less dangerous life just killing monsters and collecting treasure.

Character would definitely have a lot of street-smarts, might have a "I will survive no matter what" mentality, a healthy disrespect for law-and-order, probably standoffish about friendships but a deep loyalty to those they get close to (many of these being Great traits for an adventuring party!).

There's a lot of ways to tweak this outline to make them more "dark and moody" or give them different responses to their travails (if you wanted to make them more of a "mad dog", or utterly ruthless), and there's also room for plot hooks (who were their parents? What happened to their Orphan Gang back home? Does [their original city] have enough intra-city communication that their guardsman-killing will haunt them (for example, make the guardsman they killed someone with connections or seniority, so there's someone with a big axe to grind about eventually getting the guardsman's killer)? Did they grow close to some of their fellow Caravan people and did any of them survive the attack?)

Also if you have a specific character class in mind you can tweak bits of this -- Rogue or Warrior types fit perfectly, but a more Wizard-y character class could certainly fit too: you could play up their burgeoning powers, and have power flare-ups central to Character's 2 dramatic acts -- when they killed the Guardsman in Second Time Period, and have it be the reason that Sympathetic Jailor helped them in Third Time Period.

Thanks for reading all this, anyone who made it all the way through, and let me know what you think! (And no thanks to Tumblr, whose Text Popup stopped letting me type certain letters -- I wrote the actual Character Creation thing in a textfile cuz it was so long, but I then had to compose the incidental comments / intro in a textfile too then copy-paste-format it into this tumblr window >:P)

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #d&d #character creation #character backstory #backstory #dicey #player character #ttrpg #rpg

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bettsfic · 3 years

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march pinned: ending the sex project

in the march edition of my lowkey writing-related newsletter, in addition to my writing-related post roundup and upcoming consultation availability, i have personal essay recommendations and a segment on the definition of a project!

for more information on my creative coaching services, check out my carrd.

if you want to receive my lowkey writing-related newsletter directly, you can subscribe here.

full newsletter below the cut, or you can read it here.

fuck february, amiright?

i thought january was bad. but february. february was the stuff of nightmares. my cousin passed away from covid (you can read about her here; she was really an amazing person and i feel so lucky to have known her). i was finally formally diagnosed with PCOS (bittersweet, i guess). my car broke down. i took two (2) days off and it took me two and a half weeks to get caught up again. i can only hope march treats us all a little more gently.

the good news is, i finished revisions on my short story collection to send to my agent, finished workshop submissions for the semester, and now i can return to my first love, fanfiction. that i am constantly working through original fiction to return to fanfiction has been making me think a lot about the nature of a creative, capital-p Project. so, this month’s BTALA (been thinkin a lot about) is going to inspect the concept of a “project.”

new resource

last month i unveiled a folder of my favorite short stories which i’m pleased to hear several of you have perused and gotten some inspiration from. this month i’ve compiled my favorite personal essays. there are fewer essays than there are short stories because i’ve broken them into two groups: personal and craft. next month i hope to have the craft essays compiled.

i’m always looking for more things to love, so if you have recommendations for your favorite short stories and essays, i’d be happy to hear them!

writing-related posts

how to physically maneuver the revision process

the difference between M and E ratings of fic

resources for worldbuilding (check out the reblogs for more!)

a couple syntax/prose book recs

how to break a long work into chapters

march availability

unfortunately i have to cut my coaching hours down a bit, so i don’t have any openings left in march, but i have some availability in april. if you’re interested in a writing consultation, please fill out this google form!

you can learn more about my services on my carrd.

what i’m into rn

for the past year, i’ve basically been trapped in a 10x10 room, and my health is definitely reflecting that, both mentally (does anyone else feel like they’re living in groundhog day? just, every day being exactly the same except fractionally worse than the day before??) and physically (i reorganized the kitchen and could barely move for two days).

reader, i have discovered something called “walking,” in which i put on real human shoes and go outside. it feels strange, bestial. neighbors wave hello to me. a harrowing experience.

while doing this, this walking, i’ve been listening to the lolita podcast which a friend recommended to me, a ten-episode series that dives into everything lolita: the novel itself, its context, adaptations, greater cultural responses, and — as a sticker on my laptop says — vladimir “russian dreamboat” nabokov. as far as i can tell it seems well-researched and presents the many perspectives of lolita in a fair way. i’m only a few eps in, but i’m entranced so far. highly recommended if you, like me, have a complicated relationship with lolita.

i’ve also found myself mildly addicted to a mobile otome game called obey me, which. look i know it’s like the definition of cringe but it’s also mind-numbingly fun and if i want to spend my minimal free time pretending 7 demon brothers are all vying for my affection then that’s between me and god. it’s a lot of what i loved about WoW: frequent events, bright colors, a daily to do list of simple but satisfying tasks, many many rewards, and it doesn’t take itself very seriously. and if i have 4k fic written of mammon/reader that’s nobody’s business but mine and my longsuffering ao3 subscribers.

i’m telling you this because i don’t know anyone else who plays it and am desperate to trade headcanons. so if you play, or start playing, hit me up!! i will give u mad tips and daily AP.

been thinkin a lot about

the project. the project. even the word “project.” PROject (noun). proJECT (verb). what is the project? “project” comes from the latin pro and jacare which means “to throw forward,” or projectum which means “something prominent.” a projector throws forward an image. to project onto something means to throw your perspective onto something else. to embark on a project is to make something prominent in your life. the concept of “the projects” comes from public housing projects, the government throwing forward affordable housing.

what is the project? in joseph harris’ essay “coming to terms” he says that “to define the project of a writer is…to push beyond his text, to hazard a view about not only what someone has said but also what he was trying to accomplish by saying it.” harris’ perspective is that of an english teacher encouraging his students to read critically, not just to summarize a text but to find its project, its greater purpose. and while i first read this essay in a seminar on composition pedagogy, it stuck with me as a writer. it made me reconsider the greater nature of the creative project.

how many of us, if asked to describe our writing project, would begin with a plot or character premise, the nuts and bolts of a specific story? maybe even the working title? but i wonder, is breaking out the plot really the project? is the discipline of sitting down and typing really the project? and when the story is finished, is the project over? what is the project?

in 2019, i wrote 86k words of a novel. i began revising that novel last fall, and i’m finding that i’ll probably keep maybe less than 10k of that initial draft. i’m not bothered by that. the novel i wrote before that started at 125k, then i rewrote the entire thing to 200k, then i whittled it back down to 160k, and next i’ll be tasked with paring it back down to 80k. i’m not bothered by that either. in the past five years or so i’ve written about 2 million words, and i’ve only published 20k of them. only 1% of what i’ve written, i’ve published. in the words of lauren cooper (catherine tate), i’m not bothered.

i used to see publication as the birth of the project, and writing it akin to a long gestation period. then i saw publication as the death of the project, and its life was lived in its drafting. now, publication seems irrelevant to the project. the confines of a story and its many revisions are also irrelevant to the project. the beginning of a story is not the start of the project and the end of the story is not the end of the project. the project is larger than the story, its revisions, its publication, and its eventual readership.

i think it took me so long to see this because for so many years i was still in my first project, the sex project, an exploration of trauma and sexual identity, which began in 2014 with destiel fanfiction, endured through many fandom shifts, my MFA, years adrift as an adjunct, all the way through 2020 with the completion of my short story collection. i used to wonder how anyone could write about anything other than sex. to me it was the only topic worth my attention. i was certain that i would spend my entire life being a sex writer and i’d never find fulfillment writing a young adult sci fi adventure or a highly literary novel about complicated family dynamics. i was baffled by people who were interested in other things, who could write entire novels without using the word “cock” even once.

then my sex project ended. i don’t know when exactly it happened or why, but suddenly i realized i never wanted to write another artful description of an orgasm or find a tactful euphemism for a vagina ever again (personally i prefer “wet cunt” because not only is it blunt, i find it phonetically pleasing). obviously i’m still writing explicit fanfic but it doesn’t feel the same as it used to. sex feels more sidelined to me, even if it’s still the center and drive of a fic. i no longer get any personal satisfaction from writing it, although i do get satisfaction in sharing the work for readers to enjoy.

it’s like i’ve somehow solved the biggest puzzle of my life. or i guess made peace with my meanest monster, that extremely complicated double-mind of desire that some non-sex-repulsed asexuals feel: you want to feel desire you can’t actually feel so you write it into fiction, to try to understand this thing you can’t have and which society tells you you’re missing, and you don’t even know if you don’t have it, because you still feel desire for affection and intimacy, and maybe even a desire to be desired. and for those of us who are asexual and have c-ptsd, sex you don’t actually want (but don’t know you don’t want, because maybe you’re ambivalent and mildly curious and touch-starved) and an unrelenting drive toward people-pleasing can be a dangerous combination. how can you ever know what consent is if you always put other people’s desires above your own?

maybe i’m alone in this. maybe i’m not. maybe for most people, wanting sex is a light switch: yes i want it, or no i don’t. but for me, i had to write a whole lot of words to figure out things like desire, consent, intimacy, forgiveness, the shape that good love takes. the lengthy theoretical flowchart of “i might be interested in having sex if this and this and this and this and this happens in this exact order and under these exact circumstances.”

it was hard to write something into reality that i have never seen except in pieces, in subtext i clung to with no lexicon to give it shape and meaning. te lawrence in lawrence of arabia. some of tarantino’s early work. the film benny and joon. and weirdly, the star wars prequels (that one’s hard to explain; i’ll spare you). i don’t think the sex project was about coming to terms with my asexuality as much as it was trying to organize my thoughts and feelings by continuously rendering my own experiences within a greater, shinier ideal — like how you sometimes have to unravel the entire skein of yarn to find the loose end, and only then can you get started.

i guess i’m in the infancy of the power project now. i’m moving toward themes of control, infamy, greatness. the exact circumstances in which atrocity occurs. how people rise into leadership and fall from grace. the consequences of success. i don’t know why this project has come to me, or what, if anything, it has to do with me. i’m not famous and have no intention of becoming famous; i don’t have social power or influence, at least not beyond my little corner of fandom, and i’m not interested in having it. and yet, here we are, already hundreds of thousands of words in.

my fics digging for orchids (tgcf) and a standing engagement (the hunger games) deal with the detriments of fame. and even float (breaking bad) to a degree is about the aftermath of being so close to power. my novel cherry pop, loosely based on macbeth, is about an ongoing power exchange between two teenage girls. my other novel, vandal, is about a girl who believes she has magic powers and casts a spell on her neighbor to fall in love with her. and i’m in the very early stages of a novel called groundswell, a cult story i’ve been wanting to write for years. i had no idea why i couldn’t write it until i realized it wasn’t yet my project. i’m not even to the stage of developing characters, let alone a premise or plot. i’m still just building my aesthetic pile (i discuss the aesthetic pile here, as well as vandal in more detail), watching documentaries on cults, reading books, finding inspiration, marking down ideas as they come. it may be years before i’m ready to sit down and write it.

now that i know what the project is, i have more patience with myself. it doesn’t bother me to rewrite a novel from the beginning, or to scrap novels altogether, because the story isn’t the project. the project cannot be diminished by cutting words, sentences, paragraphs, entire chapters. the project does not have a product. the project cannot be published. the project is in the practice, in dragging the impossibly large into clear, acute existence, so you can see it. so you can see the very center of what you thought was an unknowable thing.

#pinned #lkwrnl

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dykexion · 3 years

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What are some of your favorite horror movies? I feel like the ones you reblog are super interesting ones I haven't heard of before!

oohohohoho okay thank u so much for this ask i am basicaly always willing to go a little off the rails abt my fav horror films :) this got a little long so i'm putting it under a read more!

i'll mention some of my probably less well known favs here because i think talking about movies like that is more interesting and it's always fun to find a good movie you'd never really considered before. i tend to mostly gravitate towards horror comedies and films with interesting practical effects, so that helps lead me to stuff that's not quite so mainstream

ok so first off, probably my fav horror film which i DEFINITELY recommend is behind the mask: the rise of leslie vernon (2006). it's a meta horror comedy that's two parts mockumentary and one part actual slasher - the first 2/3 of the film is a student film crew following a guy (named leslie vernon) who wants to be the next big slasher a la freddy or jason (who are real people who existed in this universe) as he shows them the tricks of the trade and how he's setting up the place where he plans to make his killing debut, and the final part of the film switches to a more typical slasher type setting as the crew's conscience sets in and they get involved to try and stop leslie. i think it's a really fun film that you can tell had a lot of love and effort put into it. it's funny and the characters are enjoyable and it includes a character played by freddy krueger himself, robert englund which is always a bonus. my one friend who's really into horror films (including some really weird obscure shit) actually hadn't heard of the film before i convinced him to watch it with me and he loved it, so it's always something i try to recommend to people - especially since you can find the whole film on youtube. they also did a comic a couple years back which i haven't been able to read but it seems pretty interesting!

another fav of mine which is kind of a guilty pleasure is slumber party massacre 2 (1987). this one isn't actually a particularly good movie per se (it had a budget of $500,000 and grossed $1.3 million) but i personally find it really enjoyable due to some good practical effects, decent characters, and just how batshit crazy it gets - the killer is literally a leather-clad rocker who kills people with a giant drill attached to the end of his guitar, and he gets a musical number. where else am i going to get that but in this film? despite the kinda sleazy sounding name it's really not that bad and i personally think it's the best out of the spm trilogy (which iirc was created as satire), all of which were written and directed by women! also just look at this dude. i am obsessed with him.

probably my second favourite horror and also likely the most well known on this list as it's absolutely a cult classic is re-animator (1985) which i've been posting about a lot recently lmao. it's a (very loose) modernised adaptation of hp lovecraft's story herbert west - reanimator and i just think it is a delightfully fun movie to watch. it's just this gay little mad scientist and his well-meaning assistant/roommate (oh my god they were roommates) dan doing fucked up little experiments with this serum herbert made to try and bring the dead back to life, except it really doesn't work as he intended it to. it's funny and quite gory and has some pretty good practical effects which is always a bonus in my book. herbert west is a little fucking asshole and at one point he vibe checks a dude with an oversized shovel and then uses it to decapitate him with blood splatters galore. warning for a brief but very distasteful scene including aforementioned severed head (which has since been reanimated) and a naked lady, in case you haven't heard of that infamous scene which was really Not Necessary.

there's also from beyond (1986) that i've been reblogging stuff from recently which is another lovecraft adaptation (from a story with the same name) made by the same people as re-animator and starring mutlitple of the same cast members as well, including the actor who played the titular herbert west playing a main character in this film too. this movie is fucking weird man, it's just strange. my fav horror youtuber (scaredy cats) called this film "a horny puppet nightmare" in the video he did on it and that's definitely an apt description. there's uhhhh a lot of things wrong with this movie and it is DEFINITELY not for everyone but i enjoy it mostly for the cast, how batshit crazy it is, and also the effects. every monster in this movie (and there's a few) is so wet and slimy looking and i am obsessed with it. one dude basically turns himself into a gooey almost penis shaped monster it's so ridiculous there is so much going on in this movie like what the actual fuck.

leaving off this post here because i think if i say anything more it'll be completely unbearable and i think i've already said too much lmao so uh

tl;dr i largely love weird and funny movies which are often low budget and of....questionable quality that aren't as well known as more mainstream movies and i def recommend behind the mask: the rise of leslie vernon, slumber party massacre 2, and re-animator in particular if you're into this kinda thing!

#sorry if this got too long and you just wanted a quick simple response lol i have brain worms #i'm pretty much always open to conversations about this stuff btw so thanks lol #imagine me wearing a gian badge that says 'talk to me about horror films'#also some of my more well known favs are halloween (1978 and 2018) black christmas (1974) the nightmare on elm st movies #(particularly 3 new nightmare and freddy vs jason lol) and the evil dead movies!#i've been meaning to watch they live and anna and the apocalypse but i promised my friend i'd watch them with him lol #OH ALSO BONUS MENTION FOR LOST BOYS (1987) which was basically the bridge into actually enjoying horror for me #which i mainly watched because it has alex winters in it and bill and ted is like my fav movie ever lol #[infodumps about weird horror movies] so anyway #sorry if this is annoying or weirdly written at some points lmao my brain is all over the place today #also just now realising that damn a lot of my fav horror movies are just weird shit from the 80s huh #asks #i'll try to keep any other posts i make on this subject a little shorter lmfao

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carpisuns · 3 years

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30 questions about me

thx for the tag @anna-scribbles 💜

name: maryssa (u can call me that or mar, either is fine)

gender: cis female

star sign: capricorn

height: 5′8

time: 1 PMish

birthday: Jan 6 (i just turned 26...rip lol)

fav band/group: hmm uhh the beatles and maybe sylvan esso

fav solo artists: sleeping at last, banners, yoke lore, borns, taylor swift (this is recent...i really vibe w her two newest albums lol. shoutout to @sha-nwa and @anna-scribbles for getting me back on the taylor train after like a decade wow lol)

song stuck in my head: ME WANT BITE. ME WANT PLANT CORN DOG DELIGHT

last movie: the duff

last show: the mindy project

when i created this blog: i think it was september 2019?

what do i post: uhhh a bunch of clownery i guess lol. i do art and fic and meta sometimes but mostly i just have a very strong reblog game

last thing i googled: me want bite. to get the link haha

other blogs: @carpisuns is my art blog, @drinkcactusjuice is my atla blog, and technically @totographszine is another one of my blogs bc i’m a mod of the zine

do i get asks: sometimes but i am not always the best about answering,,,sorry 😅 if you have ever sent an art request i probably intended to try it out and then forgot lol

why this url: it’s just an uglier clunkier version of marichat alsdkjf

following: 806

followers: 4040

average amount of sleep: ha. idk maybe 5 hours. i’m a huge night owl and i’m also filled with Regret 😭

lucky number: dont have one but i like numbers that end in 5 or 0

instruments: i used to play be decent-ish at piano in high school but then my teacher moved away and i havent had access to a piano in like 8 years BUT i got a keyboard recently and i just bought some music books online 😤

what im wearing: tshirt and leggings. chill vibes only

dream job: im the copyeditor of a kids’ magazine for my church and that’s pretty much my dream job!

dream trip: sry im such a basic binch i just rly like walt disney world and i want to ride the haunted mansion 1000 times :/ but also europe sounds cool maybe like the UK and italy and spain

fav food: caprisun

nationality: american

fav songs: this changes a lot lol but currently electric love by borns, no one knows us by banners, and like most of the songs from tswift’s newest albums lol. happiness and gold rush are probably my top two.

last book: does fanfic count LKDJFSJKLDFD

top 3 fictional universes i’d love to live in: 1. star trek cause it’s the same except money doesn’t exist and everyone has a replicator u can make whatever you want with and also holodecks exist 2. harry potter i guess? cause magic is dope but also i’d probably just be a muggle so it would be the same lol or if i were a witch i’d be mad that ppl were still using quills for no reason 3. i cant think of anything else cause either there are no toilets or there is a fascist dictator in charge or both

tagging: @botherkupo, @gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights, @bugaboo-n-bananoir, @emsylcatac, @landturtlealyce, @jarl-deathwolf, @leviaana (if u want) and anyone else who feels like it :)

#about me #not ml #tag game #tag meme

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fictionalginger · 3 years

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wandavision theories for ep 8 | contains spoilers

Obligatory disclaimer, these are my opinion + thoughts, and ideas, take all u see here with a grain of salt as of course, these are just theories. Now, shall we?

I’m writing this at 7:30am on Friday 26th, it’s taking all my self control to actually write this down before I go watch the episode.

Let me start this by saying that ever since this show started I’ve looked like this every single week, until the next episode, and then the cycle just starts over. I’ve seen the promos and the trailers in like 0.25x so many times.

Agatha/Agnes

I called it from before the show’s start and the fact that it was so obvious makes me think she’s not really the main but more like a pawn that’s serving a supervillain if that makes sense.

On episode 1, there was the June 2nd line and then the “Charmed” thing that confirmed it for me.

I think that she’s either

possessed

just crazy

I’m leaning a bit more towards the crazy part, she’s been an instigator throughout the whole show and seems to be doing it and enjoying it (ie agatha all along)

basically put the idea of having kids in Wanda’s head

instigated Vision’s doubts which then ultimately made him realize something was wrong

she literally gave him the last push for him to try to go outside the hec which might have killed him

she killed Sparky

brought Peter from (according to me) Fox’s universe as a stand in for Pietro bc he’s dead…

From the couple of promos and leaked images for ep 8, I think she’s gonna show Wanda her past which I think is tied to Mephisto because let’s be honest, how does a witch have powers comparable to those of someone who basically was exposed to an infinity stone. The amount of demonic symbolism in her secret lair was a lot, the cicadas, señor scratchy, what looks to be the darkhold.

I also think she’s the one that manipulated Wanda into creating the hex, seeing as her creepy basement is apparently outside of it. She manipulated her into having kids, we’ve seen that every time the twins are about to age up, she’s there. She didn’t even blink to Wanda having powers. That’s why I think she killed Sparky, because for some reason she wants to age the twins into teenagers to serve her purpose.

But why?

Does she want to bring someone back from the dead? Or does she want to manipulate Wanda into opening the multiverse because she knows she’s a Nexus being? Is she using her to bring Mephisto into the MCU world in a physical form?

Peter

I’m sure he’s just Peter from X-Men who Agatha pulled into the MCU as a stand-in for Pietro.

I think when Wanda yeeted him in the halloween episode, he got snapped out of Agatha’s control and we might see him team up with Monica to help Wanda and the residents of Westview.

I think he might stay in the MCU and be in Dr. Strange the multiverse of madness, and then we’d see him return to Fox

Monica

Not sure what name she’ll go with, Photon, Spectrum or even Captain Marvel 🤷🏼‍♀️

I do think she’ll take over as Director of S.WORD since I’m 99.9% sure Hayward broke the Sokovia Accords (and Vision’s will)

Hopefully we see more of her and why she’s so mad at Carol

Dottie

I have the feeling that there’s a lot more to her, but I’m on a time crunch and really want to go watch ep 8 so I'll just say that she’s either Arcanna Jones or Clea and I’ll be disappointed if she turns out to just be Dottie.

Also, she’s not on the board so I have my doubts about her.

Hayward

I’ve hated since I first saw him

I’m 99.9% sure he was experimenting on Vision trying to bring him back online which is a breach of the Accords, but he couldn’t and then saw that Wanda had breathing, living version of Vision and became hellbent on getting him, that’s why he’s vilifying Wanda so he can put the blame on her.

Vision

This one’s a bit tricky, because I have my doubts about him being Old Vision, but I really liked him throughout the show and it sucks that he’ll probably die at the end.

Theory 1:

He can’t leave the Hex, which makes me think he was created by Wanda, I mean after all she can manipulate things to a molecular level and could’ve given him the same traits as Old Vision, that’s why he has the stone and can’t really remember anything from before Westview, because he didn’t exist but still exhibits his selfless behavior (i.e doesn’t even remember being an avenger yet he wanted to help and then when he was dying outside the hex, he asked for help for the people and not for himself even though he was disintegrating)

This scene from one of the promos where Wanda’s still wearing modern day clothes and then she’s wearing the outfit from the first episode, and Vision’s like “Wanda?”. I think that’s where she created him, and gave him some basic memories to start from.

Here, where she’s looking at the stone, in another promo I believe, I think it’s that she’s “destroying” the stone which will inevitably kill vision.

Or when she has to inevitably bring down the Hex, he’s gonna die, again. The only plot hole to this theory would be, how is Hayward able to track him? Is he tracking the Vibranium signature only?

That scene where Wanda’s at S.W.O.R.D and she’s recovering his body, makes sense that maybe she made Westview Vision from Old Vision’s scraps, but he was completely disarmed and taken apart, how could she have done that? She would have had to completely put him together (which shouldn’t be hard considering her powers) but I’m guessing he wasn’t Vision anymore, they were turning him into something else.

Theory 2:

I remember reading in October, that White Vision could make an appearance which kinda makes sense? After all, he was killed and taken apart by a spy agency which could be S.W.O.R.D as it is now a “Sentient Weapon Observation Response Division” that is very specifically focusing on robotics and A.I. This could be what Hayward mentioned that he intends on launching on episode 7. Considering there’s only 2 episodes left, this seems like a lot to include with so little time left. But the possibilities are endless, it is Marvel we’re talking about.

Either way I think he’s gonna die and we’re all gonna cry. His death might be what pushes Wanda over the edge and into insanity, if even when she was living a normal, happy life she was pushing her grief onto those she was controlling, what would it be like when she has to let go of this? Heartbreaking, that’s for sure.

Billy & Tommy

I think they’re somehow fully real, made from who knows what but real

I don’t think Agatha killed him, but she might have aged them as that seems to have been her goal (it also makes them the right age for the young avengers set up they seem to be going for)

Perhaps, instead of living with Wanda, once the Hex goes down they’re forgotten? Like when, in the comics, Agatha wiped them from Wanda's mind.

I read a theory that the missing person Jimmy was looking for at the beginning was Teddy Altman who ends up being Billy’s husband in the comics, so that’d be cool.

Wanda

Poor Wanda has been manipulated this whole time.

Going with my theory that Vision’s body was completely torn apart when she got to S.W.O.R.D, I don’t think she could take it with her like that, that’s why I think Hayward is so obsessed with finding the Vision that she has alive inside the Hex.

I feel she was manipulated by Agatha all along, Westview might’ve just been the first town she found as soon as she left S.W.O.R.D where Agatha manipulated her into creating the Hex. This whole time she thought she was in control, it was Agatha behind the scenes controlling everything. Jimmy mentioned that she was displaying an amount of powers that far exceeded anything she’d displayed before and I think her crumbling mental stability, along with the fact that Vision almost died at the end of episode 6 (or he did actually die idk) could be what’s causing the Hex to start glitching and failing.

There’s a scene from one of the promos, and honestly it was hard to find, but we can see her in the town surrounded by all of Westview’s residents who look like they’re begging her for something (Phil). Maybe she couldn’t keep her control over them or once Agatha showed her the truth, she decided to free their minds.

and this scene where she holds hands with Vision while wearing modern clothes, I think it might be one of their last scenes together.

My working theory for Wanda is:

She realizes she’s been manipulated and how wrong it all is

Frees everyone

Tries to take down the Hex but has to fight Agatha and Hayward(and whatever he launched) in order to do so but she has the help of Vision, Monica and Peter

Inevitably kills Westview Vision when she takes down the hex, says goodbye and we’ll cry

Grabs her children and we go into dr. strange 2 where she’ll try to fix what she fucked up

She forgets her children, probably Agatha’s doing and goes crazy with the grief of losing everything at once hence setting her up as one of the main characters (villain?) of Dr strange 2

I’ve had the feeling that phase 4 is going to revolve around her and her powers, spiderman 3: no way home and dr. strange the multiverse of madness, even loki and antman: quantumania. They all give multiverse, ripples in the fabric of reality kinda vibes.

So far all I’ve got are more questions for episode 8

Why did Agatha do this? What’s the purpose of it?

Is Vision gonna die? Is he alive? Are my theories right?

Are the kids alive or aged up? Trapped in the creepy ass basement?

Is Peter under Agatha's mind control or will he team up with Monica?

Will the town people die in Haywards attack?

Will we get to see the big bad in the show?

Who is the aerospace engineeeeer?

Hope you’ve enjoyed reading my delusions, expect a theory for the final episode after I watch ep 8. Leave me a like or reblog if you’ve found this interesting. You can also follow me on Twitter where I usually post my dumbassery first!

#blog post #wandavision #wandavision theory #wandavision theories #wanda maximoff #vision #agatha harkness #spoilers #wandavision spoilers #episode 8 theory #episode 8

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ancient-bruises-ancient-moon · 4 years

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ok SO I got an anon I wasn’t gunna respond to but I'm enjoying a vegan chocolate banana cookie dough thc/cbd infused smoothie I invented so fuck it, let’s do this

this isn’t gunna be eloquent at all and I hope what im intending to say comes off correctly. may not, my brain is mush- but here we go!

so last night/technically this morning I reblogged a lot from this brilliant intersexism blog. (highly recommend giving a follow!) which led to...a bizarre ass anon this morning (I'll make another post linking to her blog so ya’ll can follow. she doesn’t need to deal w/ this post after everything else she deals w/ on here- unless u want to ofc!! hi ur cool! ANYWAY...)

I don’t remember the exact wording but it was something like “so ud rather have sex w intersex ppl over trans ppl??”

ummm. I literally never said shit about sex w/ intersex ppl?? like, ever.

was that supposed to be some huge “gotcha!!” ??

‘cause it didn’t work, at all.

1. my body is not a democracy

2. why r ya’ll obsessed w sex as validation

3. ur rly gunna ask me, essentially, if I'd rather be intimate w a deranged narcissistic reality denying manic OR a person with an intersex disorder...and u rly think I'm gunna be like OH NO I’D RATHER HAVE SEX W A MANIAC???

like...it’s rly not ab sex at all but did u RLY think that was gunna work in ur favor somehow?? and if u did, why did u think so? could it be bc u use intersex ppl as pawns for ur arguments but then don’t actually consider them ppl that can be in loving and intimate relationships? do u rly think this is activism? do you feel no shame?? you should be fucking embarrassed. this is so embarrassing for you.

something ya’ll don’t realize: I worked at a center that offered therapeutic services, std testing, & peer activity groups for lgbtiapqbdsmnlmnop folxxxx

I know how ya’ll speak to your therapists, to your peers when you think no one is listening, I watch ya’ll take credit for things u did NOTHING for, I've watched your violence against anyone who disagrees with you (INCLUDING about tv show characters...like, come on..) Adult trans women using fake IDs to try to get into youth events...and then get MAD AT ME when I have to kick A WHOLE ASS HALF DRESSED MAN GRINDING ON THE FLOOR out of an event for CHILDREN... this is beyond just Tumblr. you’re also like this irl. and often, somehow, even fucking worse.

I had far less intersex clients BUT ya know who wasn’t throwing tantrums, being violent, trying to take credit for things they didn’t do, starting fights, sneaking into events to get near minors?? my intersex clients! NOT ONCE. AND let’s be real...my intersex clients had good fucking reason to be furious and there were absolutely times that I would not have blamed them in the slightest for slapping tf out of someone...but they didn’t. not once. (ngl tho if they did I would have “not seen” what happened tbh bc I am a very responsible adult lmao- I can say this now bc I left the field so it matters not at all for my career)

ya know who would stay after hours, silently crying in rage bc of the shit trans clients said to them? my intersex clients (the big one was trans ppl telling them they’re lucky they get to ~~choose~~ their sex)

ya know who took the time to use open activist hour to build presentations to teach the LARGELY ENTIRELY INEPT staff (myself included, more below) about intersex issues so the people who come after them can get better help than they were able to receive?? I'll give you one guess.

I left academia and working in the field w/ ppl bc of my experiences at this place & the direction this tender gender trender shit is taking academia. Intersex people deserve so much fucking better than even having to HEAR this bullshit. I would only go back into the field to work with women & intersex individuals. Probably as a volunteer though, but I digress

I worked there when all these new words were coming out too like demisexual android identified diaper baby or whatever the fuck lmao and the trans clients would be FURIOUS when anyone didn’t know wtf it meant

and in contrast our intersex clients were constantly explaining shit to staff/interns/volunteers about their conditions that they should never have had to explain TO THE PROFESSIONALS WHO WERE THERE TO HELP THEM. and I can’t even lie and pretend I fucking knew much, I didn’t. I was hired without even knowing i’d be working w intersex clients- I just needed to show I knew some trans buzzwords. but I put in the time to learn, I read every book any client recommended, any article they emailed me- but honestly that STILL ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH!!!! I should NOT have been hired!!! MY BOSS should not have been hired!!! Actually, the only staff members that actually deserved their job was an gay intersex man. OT but he was so cool and smart and hilarious and like FUN ANGRY like idk how to explain that better lol he was good at getting u pumped up ab shit & good at getting ppl worked up enough to DO something. The only other staff member who actually cared and knew anything was a lesbian woman (of course) but she had recently had a baby and became so afraid for the welfare of her wife and daughter that she went along w trans shit that she KNEW was delusional and unhealthy bc we SAW these trans clients being violent on the Regular. we were legally obligated to call the cops several times. she wasn’t wrong to be afraid but I do think she should have tried to work elsewhere if she could no longer do her job with integrity but that’s a conversation for another day.

agh im just gunna end this post now bc I can rly go on and on but I'll leave the post with this question that I'd very much like an answer to:

how can we as activists be of better service to our intersex sisters? this issue is becoming more and more pressing and I can’t sit back and do nothing for them anymore. does anyone know of intersex only orgs that need volunteers or have suggestions?? PLS LET ME KNOW. I won’t go back to where I was but there’s GOTTA be SOMETHING I can do for the intersex community. let’s figure it out <3 this issue very seriously needs the attention of radical feminists tbh so...let’s do something.

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thethousandyearwitch · 4 years

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“Tumblr Cultings” another Shitpost fic.

Hisoka is a ~~Tumblr Influencer~~ and decides to start drama. 1334 Words.

fanfiction.net link

Click. Clack. Click. Hisokas nails tapped quickly against his phone screen. "Tonight it's going down. I have had e-nough of a certain person here, and all of you deserve to know who and why! ~ ♠️ " Post. He didn't have to wait long before the familiar pings and blops of instant messages and questions asked to his blog started.

Anonymous: Who is it?? (≧▽≦) So excited to see you tear someone a new one!! IM from cutiepanther: where do u even get your info from lol?. IM from chaineddown: I Thought You Were Done Creating Drama For Attention.

Hisoka snickers to himself, lazily grabbing another whiteclaw from the fridge, before retreating to his bedroom desk. He takes a first sip of his drink while opening his laptop, and quickly going on tumblr.com once it has finished setting up. @Bubblegumbitch, 20.879 followers. 7.344 posts. 27 new asks, 7 new IMs. With a satisfied sigh, the popular blogger sets down his can, and cracks his knuckles.

YouTube Influencers make a lot of money through ad-revenue. Instagram influencers hold themselves over water with sponsorships. And though Hisoka did hold a platform on both of these as well, he preferred the more traditional customs of the blogging site. You don't get paid for having a lot of followers, or making popular posts, and sponsorships are almost entirely unheard of. But he wasn't in it for the money anyway. The drama was far more alluring. Hisoka had made his starts as a "Tumblr influencer" through creating blog layouts, masterposts of custom themes, and the occasional "funny" post, which was usually just him vagueing about someone that pissed him off that day. His first call-out post he wrote at 7k followers, calling out a far bigger blogger than he is for stealing codes for their theme and for kinning a character from a TV show that has generally been frowned upon on Tumblr for being "atrocious and a bad influence". No one likes to admit it, but everyone loves a little drama, don't they? To see someone else's dirty laundry aired out, the relief that it isn't their own, the community effort of shutting someone out of their reigns for one simple post. A satisfied Huff escapes Hisoka as he dwells in this lovely memory. Time to make a new one.

"CALLOUT POST for @spidershead13 I can't believe I would ever have to do this for someone like him, but Chrollo has definitely pushed it too far~. Definitely don't harrass him, just unfollow and block his sorry ass!~ ♣️ ."

Excitiment starts to bubble under Hisokas skin. In truth, of course, Chrollo did nothing horribly wrong, nothing at least that Hisoka could proof. But everyone likes good drama between popular blogs that follow different themes. If this post could rile him up enough to write a callout post for Hisoka in return- Blop. IM from porcelaincat: Hisoka. Oh no, the fun police. Bubblegumbitch: Yeeeees?~ ♥️ Porcelaincat: Are you not too old to start petty fights online? Bubblegumbitch: OUCH. ♠️ Bubblegumbitch: I stay young at heart, dear.~ Porcelaincat: 1) Gross. 2). Who are you bullying this time? Bubblegumbitch: Chrollo @spiderhead13 :o) Porcelaincat: I am surprised, I honestly did not take you for that stupid. My fault.

Ouch. Illumi never cared if he was hurting feelings. Maybe he should write the call-out post about Hisoka. Though Hisoka doesn't have any viable dirt on him, not yet at least, not until he finds that porn blog that hes SURE Illumi has hidden away somewhere. Whatever, fuck that guy and his voice of reason. Hisoka takes another gulp of his whiteclaw, and goes back to typing.

"It has come to my attention, that multiple people have had the same unpleasant experience with Chrollo, something you cannot let slide so easily~."

(Multiple people meaning one fake blog that he himself created to write himself IM messages "receipts".)

"In the following screenshots, one person tells me about how Chrollo tried to convince them to come visit him in Newyork and joins his 'church'! That's right, the guys a cult leader, trying to lure in more people from here!~ (Blogname in the Screenshots is blacked out for anonymitys sake ofc)."

Was he going too far, trying to convince everyone that Chrollo was a Cult leader probably out to harvest their organs? Or was he not going far enough

"Not sure what everyone was expecting of a goth blog like his, posting all that ~deep~ and ~brooding~ stuff, but pleeaaaseee stay clear of him now, don't let yourselves get pulled into some scary cult bs~ ♦️ .

#callout #calloutpost #internetbloodsports #cult. "

And post. Hisoka spins excitedly in his chair, self satisfied with his own hubris. Immediately more blops and pings storm in. Anonymous: I knew chrollo was a weirdo, mayor bad vibes ಠωಠ Anonymous: thank you for talking about this, honestly scary!!!!! Spiderslegtostandon: What is your damage? Hisoka chuckles. Now only to wait for- IM from spidershead13: Hello. Chrollos timing was as usual, perfect. Bubblegumbitch: Why hello~~~~ ♠️ Spidershead13: I believe we need to talk about whatever that post was. Hisoka glances at the notes, a steady stream of likes and reblogs flowing in. Damage control is gonna be hard for the opposing side.

Bubblegumbitch: Sorry, I believe I'm just warning the people about you~. Didn't take you for such a dangerous guy :o( Spidershead13: Can you give me the @ of the person sending you those messages? Obviously they must have gotten something wrong. I'd never Invite just anyone to come over here, and I'd also never force my beliefs on anyone. Bubblegumbitch: Sorry, no can do. Who says you're not going to doxx em~. ♠️ I don't want to be responsible for putting someone in danger more than they already are~.

The influencer was now just leaning back in his chair, taking in a cool nights-breeze flowing in from the window. Was Chrollo mad? He's sure he'd want to punch him right now. What will he start Hisokas call-out with? Who would people believe more? It was all so exciting.

Spidershead13: Hisoka, this is nothing to joke about. I don't want to loose the trust of my community. I want to clear my name. Bubblegumbitch: if you can proof that I, or my informant has lied, I won't stop you from trying.~ ♣️ Spidershead13: Is this another childish game to you? Bubblegumbitch: A game? I take public safety extremely serious!~ :o(

No reply for 10 minutes. Hisoka bites his bottomlip, basking in the excitement of the unknown next moves of Chrollo. He was unpredictable, and thats what made him fun to toy with. If he was simply out to ruin someone's blogging experience, he could have cherry picked any one popular blog, dig long enough for dirt, and run them off the site in less than 2 hours. But that's predictable, that's normal, where's the fun in that?

Ping. Anonymous: Where's the Call-out?? Did you bitch out? Huh? Anonymous: did you delete the post? Was about to forward it to some friends who r mutuals with chrollo Pardon? Hisoka check his blog, and behold- The post is gone. Wooshed away, as the site itself would annoyingly proclaim. Did the site glitch out and delete it? Is it simply not displaying the post?

Spidershead13: So you did fake those screenshots, I assume. The URL in your IMs leads to an empty blog with the same IP address as you Spidershead13: I did not take you for someone who'd stoop that low. Bubblegumbitch: Hahaha what did you DO?~ ♠️ ♠️ ♠️ ♠️ ♠️ Spidershead13: Had a friend of mine 'check' your blog. He was also nice enough to delete the post for you already.

Hisoka blinks. Once. Then twice. He's been hacked. This was going even better than he had anticipated. Quickly he screenshots the conversation, before hitting "New Textpost". " !!!I'VE BEEN HACKED BY @SPIDERSHEAD13!!!! [Screenshot] #callout #callout post #internbloodsports #hacker"

Post.

Ping. Blop. Blop. Blop. Ping. This was going to be a long, delicious night.

#hunter x hunter #hisoka marrow #chrollo lucilfer #illumi zoldyck #fanfiction

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prismatic-cannon · 4 years

Note

uhm sis (or bro or whatever u prefer i just call everyone sis) pls reblog more fics like i need some good ones and pieces was hella good

Ahhh i’m really glad you like Pieces!!! It deserves more love for sure and the feels are only going to get better I can promise you that hoho \o/ (and I’m good with both sis/bro, I don’t mind either or it’s cool)

So far I’ve been blindly going through the AO3 tags for jojo fics so I’m not sure if my fic recs would entirely appeal to you … but if you’re interested you could definitely take a look at some of these faves! (Do mind the fics’ tags if you’re sensitive to certain tropes) Most of these are going to be heavily skewed towards part 4 and 7 (absolutely no one is surprised), but there’s other parts under the cut too!

Part 2

see you again by efthemia (6k oneshot with background Part 7 ship) - A Caejose reincarnation fic! This is set in a modern day au where Joseph and Caesar meet in another life … by crashing vehicles into each other lol

Can You Ever Go Home Again? by alexclusive (4k oneshot, contains Part 4 spoilers but is mostly centred around Part 2 and 3 characters) - I don’t want to spoil too much for this fic so I’m just going to copy paste the fic’s original summary here: “A few months after his adventure in Morioh, Jotaro goes on another personal errand at the request of his grandfather, and ends up discovering yet another lingering ghost.” A lowkey fix-it with feels!

Part 3

Torture Me by Xyloto (nsfw 2k oneshot) - The SDC gang walks in on jotakak inappropriately using their stands lmaooo enough said

Young Flame by greenteafiend (nsfw 7k multichaptered) - More Jotakak! Takes place during the Devil-Yellow Temperance part of SDC where Jotaro and Kak share that hotel room in Singapore lol

Kiss With A Fist by nevermordor (nsfw 6k oneshot) - Tempers and egos flare between Jotaro and Kakyoin as they make the long tenuous journey to Egypt – Fistfights inevitably happen. I really like how much of a cold hardass bastard Kakyoin gets in this lol

time after time by dimolto (11k oneshot) - TIME LOOP TIME LOOP TIME LOOP!!!! God time loops are one of my favourite tropes of all time, I don’t think I could get sick of it. SDC canon compliant (kinda) – Jotaro is the only person that’s aware of the loop and has to work his way out of it somehow. It’s jotakak too!! Highly rec this fic

Part 4

No place where we can’t go by tjesje (4k oneshot) - Josuyasu! Two dudes slowly fall in love over the course of their summer break. OP really nails the friendship between Josuke and Okuyasu – the banter flows so easily you can’t help but get caught up in how close and in sync they are with each other. Also, the summer vibes are super strong in this fic! Always a big plus with duwang content lmao

electric word life by Fluffifullness (8k oneshot) - More Josuyasu mutual pining + confessions, suuuuper sappy and sweet with some light post DiU angst.

Just Let Me Know, How Do You Feel? by hushroom (6k multichaptered) - Post DiU – Set during their college years, Okuyasu meets up with Josuke for the first time in a while, and they work towards overcoming emotional distance caused by the strain of long distance relationships and misunderstandings. Aged up Josuyasu content is always such a treat and this one doesn’t let down!

Bosozoku Boys by VulpesVulpes (nsfw 4k oneshot) - Takes place a few years after DiU. One night during a sleepover Josuke accidentally stumbles upon a porn mag under Oku’s bed – midnight confessions and feels ensue. This fic always has a soft spot in my heart just because of how vulnerable Josuke gets, argh my heart it aches

Crashing Waves by chamomilekai (7k multichaptered) - Post DiU – Josuke and Okuyasu deal with the lingering effects from the final Kira fight. It’s a slow burn romance with heavy feels where both bros find comfort and support in each other, very delicious part 4 h/c sob x10000

Part 5

the passenger by havisham (nsfw 5k oneshot, contains Part 6 endgame spoilers) - A Brugio fix-it …. of sorts. Ten years after Vento Aureo ends, mob boss Giorno somehow finds himself sent back in time with the opportunity to save Bruno and the others. I really like how desperate and jaded Giorno is in trying to save everyone, and how despite everything things still don’t go entirely the way he wants them to …

DIOmestic by writers_haven (4k oneshot) - Yep, it’s modern au mudad lmao. Some JonaDio here and there but the focus is mostly on Dio+Gio father-son fluff. It’s stupidly cute and there are little nods to canon material that I love to bits, like Hamon being reimagined as a fancy form of new age yoga ahahaha

Part 7

Riches and Wonders by etymology playground (8k oneshot) - A lighthearted gyjo fic that takes place during canon events – Two weeks after Sugar Mountain, Johnny and Gyro spend some R&R at a stand-powered onsen lmao. This was one of the first few fics I read right after finishing part 7, and it really helped to soothe the post SBR pain … not that I’m completely over it yet but then again would anyone ever be lol

Laundry by Petronia (2k oneshot) - Another lighthearted canon gyjo fic with lowkey ust lol – Johnny and Gyro take time between travels to do laundry. Idk, there’s something about gyjo domestic downtime that’s so comforting sob

i’ll see your face again by queenieofaces (2k oneshot, Part 7 endgame spoilers) - Oh boy this one … It’s a reincarnation au where Gyro experiences deja vu and misplaced memories from Phantom Blood and Battle Tendency during the events of SBR. 10/10 lots of feels bc reincarnation aus pair so incredibly well with gyjo gosh

nowhere to go; I’m already inside by librisdedita (31k multichaptered, major Part 7 spoilers all around) - A canon compliant gyjo fic – Johnny’s perspective on life is especially bleak in this one. OP tore my heart asunder by the end of this fic but oh man I wouldn’t have it any other way lmao

Cowboys Ain’t Easy To Love by jotarosgirl17 (36k multichaptered, Part 7 spoilers) - A series of interconnected slowburn gyjo canon compliant fics, suuuper heavy on angst and period-typical homophobia and internalised homophobia. Very good for a cry … or ten lmao

see you when the sun sets east by mourn (nsfw 2k oneshot) - Two cowboys sit five feet apart from each other not talking about their repressed feelings yeehaw. Jokes aside this is a quick but intimately tender glimpse into the beginning of Johnny and Gyro’s relationship

Spin This! by polyphenols (17k multichaptered) - A modern day office au where Diego works at a new tech startup named Steel Ball Run. Honestly, I don’t think I could ever properly articulate how much I love this fic – It’s full of sooo many nods and easter eggs to all the bizarre eccentricities that happen in part 7′s canon, and I think nearly every major/minor character gets featured one way or another, if not all (everyone works in the same horrifyingly open air office space after all). The witty banter and dialogue between characters are so snappy and succinct you can’t help but smile or laugh while reading along. Diego in particular stars as the long suffering Straight Man and audience surrogate into the madness that is SBR, with a lowkey crush on HP that slowly builds as the fic progresses (there’s background gyjo too!). While there’s more of a central focus on Part 7 at first, characters from other parts also make an appearance and gradually become more involved as well. I can’t rec this fic enough!!!

Diamond Ball Run by polyphenols (15k multichaptered, Part 7 endgame spoilers) - A gyjo fix-it of sorts … Johnny takes up Funny Valentine’s offer and asks for an Alternate Universe Gyro. The fic is mostly told from Alt Gyro’s perspective in the later half, and argh this makes my heart ache in so many ways I didn’t know were possible god help me –

happy new year, johnny by 3kanite (7k oneshot, Part 7 endgame spoilers) - Aaaah I just read this one today lmao – The fic is written from Johnny’s POV over the course of several new year celebrations – pre-race and during SBR canon. It really nails Johnny’s characterisations and personality shifts down nicely and makes the last year spent with Gyro that much more bittersweet and heartbreaking oh why won’t these part 7 feels stop coming for me

desperado by 3kanite (35k multichaptered) - Features missing scenes that take place during the events of SBR – Admittedly I’ve only read the first two chapters so far and haven’t fully processed things yet but I’m already so caught up in these pre-slash gyjo feels that I can’t help but rec this one catch me crying behind Owson’s @ 3am bc it’s just that good urgh I need an adult Could possibly be nsfw but I haven’t gotten that far in yet obvs

Aaaand that’s about it for now! Hopefully some of these interested you haha. Go show these wonderful OPs some love because they deserve it!!!

#anon #asks #this hyper fixation is going to be the death of me god #look @ all these fics i can't hold all these feels

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r6shippingdelivery · 5 years

Note

Hey there! ♥ If you have some time and inspiration... can you do the whole ABC thing for Glaz? ♥ I never find anything similar about him and I really love your HC's ♥

Well, someone is popular! 😄I got these two almost immediately after reblogging the pertinent post, and before that I already got this ask 😂Hey op, seeing my same icon really confused me, for a moment lmao

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He’s very affectionate, cuddling and kissing his partner, caressing their arms or thighs. That has led to round 2 more than once 😄 If not, he will make sure both of them are clean and comfortable.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Glaz is proud of his body, but after being called a pretty boy more than once, he’s quite aware that his good looks work in his favour. That’s the main reason he usually shaves his beard, unless his partner states they like it. When it comes to his partners, Glaz has a particular weakness for the ass, loves touching the ass, getting a handful of those plump buttcheeks and push his partner closer for a kiss. Well toned arms are also a great turn on.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

When it starts to dry it’s a nasty mess, but otherwise Glaz is fascinated by seeing his cum (or his partner’s) splattered over their bodies. It reminds him of paint on a canvas, and he finds a certain artistic appeal to it.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

There’s a secret sketch book he’d rather die before showing it to anyone. He draws porn of his teammates and colleagues. Of his crush and/or partner mostly, solo or with him pure fanatsising or from memories of things they’ve done; but also from other colleagues, people he thinks could be a couple too, it’s fascinating and helps him with anatomy practice. Plus, it hurts nobody as long as the drawings never see the light of day, right?

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He has some experience, not as much as he’d like but he’s not a blushing, innocent boy. So idk, average experience I guess?

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

For fast paced sex, he prefers doggy style or a variant, a position where he can take his partner from behind and pound into them. For more drawn out and sensual intercourse, spooning position to caress his partner’s body as he pleases, or good old missionary, so he can look into his partner’s face and kiss them. He’s also fond of lap sex: him sitting on the couch and his partner straddling his lap, getting hot and intimate with lots of kissing and petting, although then they have to take care to not stain the couch with their activities.

No visual aid cause Tumblr is a christian server now and would flag my post.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He’s not a goofy person, although he takes things with some humour to defuse the situation if there’s any tension. However, he’s mainly a mix of serious and pretty focused on his partner during sex.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He’s naturally not very hairy, so he usuallydoesn’t need to do much grooming, just trimming a bit from time to time.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He’s a man of few words, but he has no problems letting his partner know how much he loves them, and will look adoringly at them if the position allows face to face contact. He has a romantic side.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

When he masturbates, he usually doesn’t draw it out for long, except for those times he’s alone at night and he might edge himself until he can’t take it anymore.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Glaz is a biter, loves marking up his partner and doesn’t mind if they mark him back as well. I feel compelled to say he’s also into trying to have sex in empty but public spaces, like the common showers, or in the middle of a field during a camping trip, or behind in the training grounds if there’s nobody else around look, I wrote him like that more than once, I think I have to include it

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Anywhere relatively private, although nothing trumps the comfort of their bed.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Whisper filth in his ear and you’ll make him go from 0 to 100 in a moment. It works even at the most inappropriate places. Under his calm exterior, he is a horny boi.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He would never roleplay a rape scene, the moment he hears his partner mildly distressed he would stop, safeword be damned. Generally, nothing that can really hurt either of them (spanking is fine in that regard, but not too extreme, choking is out of the question, etc)

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He loves to receive and has no problem reciprocating, although he sometimes tries to push deeper and makestheir partner gag. He feels bad about it but can’t control himself.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

That depends on his mood and whether they’re going for a quick romp or if there’s time to take things slow. As a rule, he’ll start slow and sensual and graduallly pick up the pace until he ends going fast and deep.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Did I already say he’s a horny boy and likes taking some risks? He’s more than fine with quickies, but also loves proper sex, turning it almost into a marathon and seeing for how long they can go at it.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He’s open to trying new things, as long as both he and his partner are totally okay with it. And for the risks, the risk of possible discovery is mainly what he dabbles in, risk of injury is not something that appeals to him.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

If it’s not a quickie, he can last long. He’s also an enthusiast of going for a second round after a little wait, and that downtime is perfect to keep worshipping his partner and make sure they’re as horny for it as him.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He has a few toys, and he sometimesuses them, but he prefers using them on his partner, as a warm up for sex or as part of his teasing during foreplay.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Yes, he’s a fucking tease. From heated looks, “accidental” touches and caresses, and whispered dirty talk, he likes to have his partner burning for it long before they start to undress. And once in bed he’ll continue teasing. He loves watching his partner go mad with lust and pleasure, and if they beg that’s the icing on the cake.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s not very loud, but he makes some pretty moans, espcially when he’s nearing orgasm.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

While Glaz has no problem letting his partner take control if that’s what they like, being the dominant one comes naturally to him. Which can surprise his partner the first few times, since his gentle approach and almost shy demeanor might make them think he’d be easy to lead around. Boy, they are in for a surprise!

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Slightly above average, nothing that will make his partner pale at the thought of taking it in. It curves slightly upward when erect.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He’s young-ish and horny, keeps a sorta innocent appearance but he’s ready to go nearly always. I introduced the concept of sex fiend Glaz a long time ago and I love it, so it fucking stays okay? xD

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Unless they’ve been at it for many rounds or he was tired from before, he prefers to enjoy the afterglow awake. Don’t expect much pillow talk, though.

#rainbow 6 siege #r6s #rainbow six siege #glaz #galactic-evil #headcanons #well if my Kapkan headcanons aren't exactly common #welcome to something even rarer #I am aware this is a pretty different interpretation of Glaz than what I've mostly seen around #but this is how I see the character and how I write him 😊

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iamnotawomanimagod · 4 years

Text

2019 Retrospective Survey

Once upon a time, in the wayback ancient days of yesteryear, aka 2006 or so, people would fill out little self-important surveys about themselves almost every night on Myspace. These surveys were then posted to your profile via a “bulletin” and could be perused by your friends at their leisure.

Eventually, this phenomena evolved into what we now know as “ask games” - people taking these surveys and, instead of just filling them out, reblogging them in the hopes that their followers might grow curious enough to send in some numbers.

Well, to that evolution of this tradition, I say - pah! I’ll answer all these questions and you’ll like it!!

Or you’ll skip it, which is probably the reasonable thing to do. This is mostly for me, so I have some vague record of this year to look back on, which I’ve been bad about the past several years.

1. First things first, did you have a good year?

It’s kind of tough for me to discern what is good and bad, anymore, especially when it comes to my life experiences. Things kind of just “are.” I think I had a pretty good year overall, though, if I step back and look at it, and ignore my mental health and those other niggling little details.

2. How old did you turn this year?

Twenty-eight. Getting up there. I’ve been doing some version of these surveys since I was like, fourteen. That’s fourteen years of random, unnecessary internet void-shouting.

3. Do you feel your age?

Not really. When I was younger, I definitely thought 28-year-olds always had their shit together, automatically, just because of the age. Like it feels like an age where I really should’ve outgrown a lot of things. But I haven’t yet, not at all, and I have zero interest in conventional adulthood.

Did your appearance change in anyway?

I got new glasses, because I lost my old ones in Hawaii.

Post your favorite selfie.

I rarely like selfies where I smile, so even though this one is clearly some goofy cheesin’, I still consider it kinda special.

If you traveled, where did you go?

I went to a place called Monroe, in Utah, which has some amazing hot springs. Slept overnight in a converted hippie bus. It was freezing (if you weren’t in the springs), but really fun!

I also went to Maui, Hawai’i. It was beautiful and I do see why people love it there, but it was very much so not for me. Also flying while fat fucking suuuuucks aaaaass, hugely.

Which fashion trends did you love?

Eye makeup got really fun and weird this year - I love the new shapes and crazy colors.

Here’s a decent example on Halsey. The way her top lid has a line above the lid and under the brow - I’ve never seen that before this year. Really fun and new kinda twist on makeup.

Which fashion trends did you hate?

Chunky dad shoes, the popularity of Crocs (and I fucking love Crocs, don’t get me wrong,) and other seemingly-ironic “comfortable chic” styles. It’s super cute on most skinny girls but the moment a fat girl tries to rock that style, it’s “sloppy” or “lazy.” On the other hand, it was good to see some women reject more revealing or extravagant styles in favor of being comfortable. It’s just tough for a fat woman like me to pull off.

What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible?

I pretty much lived in black sweatpants and baggy t-shirts this year.

What song sums up this year for you?

“I Think I’m OKAY” by Machine Gun Kelly feat. Yungblud

What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then?

I listened to a ton of “thank u, next” and “when we all fall asleep, where do we go?” this past year.

What was your favorite movie of the year?

I haven’t seen any movies from 2019 yet. I watched one film this year: “Slow West” - it was pretty good!

Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year?

The entire casts of Legacies and Runaways.

Favorite new TV show?

Probably Legacies! Really surprised me, but it’s a fun show!

Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears?

Cheleanor stole my heart this year, from The Good Place. I, of course, spent way too much time thinking and talking about The 100. Gotta give another shoutout to Legacies and Runaways. Special nod to #deanoru and #hosie, respectively.

What food did you try for the first time?

I tried dragonfruit and papaya for the first time while in Hawai’i. It was also the first time I’d ever tried and enjoyed mango. All the other mango I’d had was never sweet enough and always reminded me a lil bit of cat pee, but a fresh tropical mango is fuckin’ heaven.

Did you make any big permanent changes this year?

Not really “permanent”, but semi-permanent - I moved out of one place and into a new one. We definitely won’t be here forever, though. Maybe a year or two.

What was one nice thing you did for someone else?

I do a lot of little nice things for my husband every day, it��s kinda tough to list them all.

What was one nice thing you did for yourself?

I reached out to an old friend that I had been fighting with and made amends, and we’re friends again.

Did you develop a new obsession?

I always move from TV show to TV show obsessively - lots have already been mentioned. I think I got more into The Try Guys this past year than I have before. I also played a lot more management sims than I ever expected to - games like Dead in Vinland, Banished, Frostpunk, Weedcraft Inc, and This War of Mine.

Did you vote?

Shoulda - didn’t.

Did you move?

Yup! Moved out of my old roommate’s house and into my own apartment.

Did you get a job?

In a sense - I drive for DoorDash. It’s definitely work, but not a conventional job.

Did you get a pet?

No. :( In fact, I kinda lost some - I loved the shit out of my roommate’s dogs, I got way too attached to them. I miss them too much.

Do you regret not doing anything?

Not really.

Do you regret doing something?

Yeah, I let a friend down in July. Wish I hadn’t done that, but. I’m not a very good friend to have, and I’m okay with that. The people who get it stick around through the tough stuff.

Have you done anything that scared you?

I always think it’s a little scary to get on a plane. That’s probably it.

Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days?

God, yes. Too many things. Still angry at my old roommate for being such an asshole about cleaning and for threatening to kick us out. That’s the one that happened this year, lol. But I’m still angry about things that happened years ago. I can hold a hell of a grudge.

Did you lose anyone close to you?

Not this year. Got lucky. Guess the universe decided to give me a little break.

Did you fall in love?

Nah, but I stayed in love with a coupla people. ;)

Did you fall out of love?

Nope!

Did you start a new relationship?

Nah. My husband and I have been together for 8 years.

Did you go through a break up?

See above!

Did you have to cut ties to someone?

Kinda. Had one or two people who wanted to be my friend. Made the mistake of being approachable and shit. But they figured out I’m a flakey asshole soon enough. :)

Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year?

I made amends with my friend, Tracie, this year. She was always important to me. But I was pretending that she wasn’t, last year.

Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year?

I can’t really think of anyone. I guess my husband’s best friend - she moved out of our old house first, and I stopped talking to her as often. Prior to that we’d been pretty close. Proximity-based closeness is a trip, y’all.

If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it?

Nah. I made it through. That’s all that counts.

What was the best moment of the year for you?

Seeing my friend get married. It was a really, really lovely ceremony.

What was the worst?

Probably when I tried out a new form of self-harm - aka banging my head as hard as possible against the bathroom sink. Gave myself a mild concussion. 0/5 would not recommend.

Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t?

Going to Hawai’i. I don’t know why I thought it would change me - it just seems like one of those “life-changing” destinations, y’know? But it wasn’t. It was beautiful and otherworldly, and also full of a weird and uncomfortable mixture of white wealth and brown poverty. If anything, that only affirmed my beliefs more.

Did anything happen to you that you were sure wouldn’t change you as a person but it did?

It’s tough to answer these sometimes, because I just don’t really know who I am “as a person.” I don’t think there was anything I didn’t expect. Not this year.

What are you most proud of accomplishing?

I got out and worked a lot. I pushed through some really tough times and experienced some nice things on the other side. I was able to care for my husband during his down moments, the way he’s cared for me. I fuckin’ survived, which is always an accomplishment for someone whose brain is frequently shouting at them to end it all.

What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior?

I’m more resilient emotionally than I thought I was. I’m less resilient physically than I used to be.

Did your opinion of anyone change for the better?

I feel warmer and closer to my mother-in-law than ever before.

Did your opinion of anyone change for worse?

My sister continues to find new ways to disappoint me, but that isn’t exclusive to 2019. My former roommate went from being, in my mind, a mostly-okay guy, to potentially one of the worst people I’ve ever met. And that’s really saying something. Duplicity and lack of awareness go a long way in making someone shitty, though.

If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year?

Nah, pahaha. I was supposed to go outside and also journal every day. Didn’t do that. I mostly kept up with it, but there are a lot of gaps. I definitely spent a week or two consecutively indoors, at least twice.

If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year?

Probably gonna keep trying with the old ones, tbh.

If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do?

I would go pick up Cami and head north, for Alaska. Find someone beautiful and peaceful to see the aurora borealis. Drink cream liqueur and hot cocoa with scarves and hats and gloves on. Look up at the endless stars. Have a long, sleepless road trip back, screaming our favorite songs at the top of our lungs, stopping at interesting places when we can.

What do you wish for others for the coming year?

I just hope things get better, dude. Stabler. Less scary.

What do you wish for yourself?

Same as the above, but on a micro scale. I’m heading into my 30s in this next decade. I gotta find something else to do besides just surviving.

#rambling about my life #plz do not rebagel thank u #about me #2019 retrospective

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