#although i am happy that they haven't teamed up *yet(?)* since this is a new season and they're switching things up!

[saintslewis]

❝ 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐌𝐘 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋 ❞

𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 - 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒

pairing: sir lewis hamilton x fem!oc

summary: truly, nothing can break Nadia’s soul.

warnings: cussing, outfit descriptions, slight angst, typos, it’s a long one 😭 click on the links, i’m watching you 🤨

wc: 6.4k

saint’s team radio 🎀: don’t beat me up y’all! this took more than forever and i am really sorry. hopefully this chapter brings you guys joy 🤭 thank you so much for all the love on renaissance so far! 🥹 i also want y’all to know that Nadia is a thick babe, when she wears shorts or mini skirts/dresses, it’s mini!!! just wanted to remind y’all!!!!

pls like, comment and reblog! 🫶🏽

renaissance: the series masterlist • general masterlist

-

The thin white thread from the duvet cover couldn't be any longer as Nadia continued to pull on it, clicking her nails together in the process. Her buzzing phone sat on the bed in front of her with the voice of her mother pressing her about the past week.

"I'm sure it wasn't easy being the trophy wife this weekend, people were going crazy this side." Her mother chuckled from the other end.

"Ma, you haven't spoken to me since I signed on that dotted line, you haven't checked up on me yet this is what you have to say to me after nearly 3 weeks without contact?" Nadia said with a strain in her voice.

"Oh come on. I was just giving you time to adjust to that fame you've always wanted and for the love of all that is good, cover up more. Do not need to see more than what I've already seen." Thembi said, not understanding how much she was hurting her daughter.

Quietly wiping her tears with her wrist, she thought back to how much peace she had before she called her mother.

The journey from South Africa to the uk had been a tough one when Nadia was much younger. Although the mother daughter pair had gone through hardships, they were as close as they could be. Residing in South London at the time had been a rollercoaster, from trying to fit in with the other kids to adapting to the new culture around her, it became easier thanks to friends she made along the way.

Within a year and a half of moving countries, Thembi announced to her daughter that they would be moving in with a new man, her 'friend' for the time being all the way in Stevenage. Nadia saw her mother's entire personality change the second the last box was dropped off by the movers, a new demeanour being shown off to the neighbours and a less kind version of her was shown to Nadia.

Conversations were barely there, hugs were rarely given and reassurance was never enough as opposed to the affection she would previously receive from before the move. Wanting to keep the positives on the surface, Nadia decided to distract herself from her feelings and continued to go to school with her old friends even if it meant travelling distances just to get away from her mother.

As Nadia grew older, so did the sudden change of attitude from her mother, finding the need to comment on everything she found wrong with Nadia. In rebellion, the girl would wear whatever would make her happy, get the tattoos she felt she needed and not spending as much time with her mother as she did before. When university opened, she hurried to move out, already planning her life out and visited her home country to find comfort in her family back home, her cousin Rea becoming a younger sister to her.

However after uni, Thembi seeked therapy to better her relationship with her daughter. Happy to go back to the way it was before, their relationship became healthier and happier after years. What changed?

Sighing out, Nadia ignored her mother's harsh words. "When is Rea going to get there? You've cancelled her flight three times already."

"Only next week Thursday. Ooh tell me, has he bought you anything fancy yet?" Anyone could imagine the smug look on her mother's face as she asked the question.

"Bye mom. Greet James." Rolling her eyes, Nadia hung up and gently rubbed her eyes, getting rid of the tears with her knuckles. Texting Rea that she should rather move in with her, she let out a sigh at the thought of her mother's sudden phone call the day after the race.

Walking into the en-suite bathroom, she fixed up her light makeup with music playing from her phone. Lewis had texted her earlier that he would be going on a run, not too sure what Nadia would want to do during the day before their trip to Malibu. She blinked the tears back whilst tilting her head backward to avoid them falling once again.

The cold tiles of the bathroom were cooling off the high temperature of her body, mainly from all the emotions and the overall heat in Miami. All she wanted to do was leave Miami and curl up in her bed - her old bed. The one she would lay on after an incredibly long day of teaching high schoolers. The one that had her plushies that she was gifted by her students. The one where she could be lying in at that very moment but she decided to drive to her mom's house that fateful day.

Deactivating her social media accounts was a no go as instructed by Tia, saying the engagement was good and for her to keep it up, the public unfamiliar with the concept of a WAG speaking to people as if they've been friends for decades. Having not gone too far into the mean and hateful comments, Nadia gets chills just thinking about it. How she's perceived by the world now with her newfound fame. One she did not ask for but she was willing to help her new friend.

That's all he was. A friend. Right?

Not realising she had zoned out and begun picking on her old acne scars, she hadn't heard her hotel room door open, a slightly breathless Lewis stood in the bathroom doorframe watching her pick at her skin whilst looking at a specific tile.

"Nads?" He called out but the girl still hadn't heard anything. Wiggling his neon sneakers on his feet within her vision, she snapped out of it, her eyes widening at the sight of him there. "Oh, hi." She greeted, voice as soft as silk as she looked at the man once then back to the mirror to avoid eye contact. "Everything okay?" He asked, wiping his forehead for any sweat left.

Nadia nodded, packing up her mini makeup bag from the marble counter, jewellery jangling as she zipped it up. "Just woke up a little weird and hungry, that's all. Are you good?" She responded, giving a half smile and she finally maintained eye contact with him.

"Yeah. Yeah, the run was good and ready for the day." He answered, feeling her energy yet just not sure where to put it between sadness or anger. "Still very proud of P2 yesterday, it was insane to see that live." She added, the gold grills matching her jewellery perfectly. Very casually dressed with a tired look in her eyes.

"Nads, are you sure you're good? Have you had breakfast?" He moved to the side as he watched her leave the bathroom with heavy footsteps. "The heat is killing me, not used to such and I was going to wait til the plane for something. Got too nervous to order room service." She slightly chuckled to herself, feeling a slight twist in her stomach.

Not wanting to upset her, he just gave her a look with his eyebrows a little raised and that made her crack. "Oh my days, don't look at me like that. We can go for lunch or something, I don't know." She suggested, looking away from Lewis to avoid looking into his eyes.

"What if I was going to compliment your hair?" He joked and crossed his arms with a slight chuckle.

"Please, I know that look from anywhere. I give it to my kids all the time." Nadia said while rolling her eyes, a soft smile on display. "Now let me change. The room's got stuffy air so we need to take a step outside." She shooed him away as she walked into the bathroom once again and closed the door with a huge smile.

Left standing in awe of her, Lewis shook his head as he headed out of her hotel room to change up for their outing.

-

The cold granadilla slushy had been freezing up Nadia's hand but she couldn't care less, the heat in Miami unbearable to no end. The pair sat in the back of the Escalade on the way to any mall nearby where Nadia could get some sandals, her feet suffocated by her sneakers.

Tia had advised them to travel by their allocated security cars because the streets of Miami were still buzzing with F1 fans, hungover or sober, hunting around for any f1 drivers that were around.

"Not that it isn't weird, it is, but I have to live with the fact that the women I have dreamed of styling one day know I exist and Pharrell too! Like my colleagues are blowing up my phone like crazy." Nadia emphasised, the slushy swishing around in her hand as she was talking.

Lewis could watch her talk for hours, even more when she was excited about something. He had thought that this weekend would be too much for Nadia with all the attention on her much more than the Grand Prix itself but the way she handled everything from the instagram posts to the multitude of introductions was incredible to watch.

She was graceful but with a spunk to her, expressing her personality to the friend group but not yet to the f1 media, wanting to get a bit more comfortable in that vicinity with Lewis by her side. Already seeing how she could get when someone were to wrong Lewis, the man was certain that they will get through this fake marriage with ease and fun, gaining a friendship within it.

"So what's your biggest goal with being a stylist? I haven't seen your work yet but I feel like it's phenomenal." He asked, smiling once he saw her roll her eyes at him.

"Phenomenal is a stretch but I'm trying to get like Law Roach or even work with a fashion house to be honest. I always wanted a way to show my work but I just never knew how to." She shrugged, taking a sip of the slushy.

"How about you style me for a few events and for a race or two?" He suggested.

"And take Eric's job? Are you crazy?" She stared at him with widened eyes and furrowed eyebrows but all he did was chuckle. "It'll be fun plus Eric knows already, he's more than excited for it." Lewis continued smiling, Nadia stared at him before releasing a sigh.

"When do I start?" She shook her head in disbelief, not believing what just happened. "Friday but the main brief is that we're sitting courtside." And like clockwork, he gave her a smile that she couldn't resist.

"You're just so full of surprises, aren't you? Let me find out there's more events you're hiding from me." Nadia said squinting her eyes at him, his cheeks eventually hurting from smiling at her.

"A magician never tells his tricks."

"Yeah yeah, Hamilton." Nadia replied, shaking her head once more as she got her purse ready, seeing the Miami Fashion District come into her view.

-

Pulling the bottom of her dress down constantly, she looked around at all the luxury stores that were never ending.

This wasn't the norm for her, she was hoping to see a much cheaper alternative than what was in front of her but she had to remember who she was in that very moment. She felt safe with two security detail walking stealthily behind them, her hands staying at the hem of her sundress.

"Your dress is okay, don't have to worry." Lewis leaned a little closer to her shoulder to whisper, sending back a reassuring smile. All she responded with was to hold his ring-clad hand in sign of appreciation.

Reaching Gucci, Nadia's first thought were those platform sandals she had seen on social media and in that exact moment, her mind went to the comfort she had been wanting since she hadn't packed any open shoes. Pulling him towards the store, everything in that store went quiet.

Sale associates just stopped and stared whilst costumers began whispering and muttering to themselves. Immediately spotting the sandals from afar, they walked slowly towards the shoe section of Gucci, trying to ignore all the eyes on them. From her peripheral vision, she could see someone speed walking towards them, fixing her uniform and her appearance once she reached the couple.

"Hello, welcome to Gucci. I'm Roni and I'll be your sales associate today." The woman introduced herself, looking straight at Lewis as she did.

"Nice to meet you, Roni. I'm Nadia and really we just came for a quick visit, hopefully get a few things whilst we're here." Nadia had on a bright smile as she spoke, the worker's smile fading as she looked at Nadia.

"Of course," Roni said, licking her teeth. "Where would you like to start? Perhaps dresses. It is a hot day in Miami." Looking at Nadia up and down with the slightest hint of disgust shown on her face, the woman continued to smile in her face.

Taken aback by the tone of her voice, Nadia just smiled and averted her gaze back to the shoe section. "It truly is but I have to pass. I'm much more interested in the shoes right now." She said, still holding onto Lewis' arm, who was enjoying every moment of this. "Alright, let me go get some champagne for you guys, racing must be tough in this heat." Roni smiled, turning around to walk in a different direction.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Nadia sighed out as they sat on the large velvet green couch. "Is this the crap i have to deal with? Her eyes said it all." She complained, rolling her eyes and placing her purse down. Following suit, he sat next to her and did not keep a friendly distance between them, relaxing his arm behind her.

"Don't worry about her or anyone else for that matter. People will purposefully piss you off for their enjoyment so let's just have a good time and we'll get ice cream later." He advised, not bothering to look around the shop but had focused all his attention on Nadia.

"Stand on your promise, Hamilton. I don't play about my ice cream." She joked, both chuckling after a beat of silence. Eyeing the store, she saw a few pieces that she knew would look good on Lewis and a few on herself. This one particular top was screaming her name, the Gucci monogram sticking out but it had a level of class to it, already imagining outfits with it on.

"The top is quite nice, I don't know what you could match it with to make it work but it seems cool." Lewis said, staring at the same top, unaware that their heads were tilted the same way. "You think so?" Nadia pondered. "Well you can't not be stylish around me so." He shrugged jokingly, earning another laugh from her. "Okay whatever you say, pookie bear." She patted his knee, watching a completely different sales associate head their way with a tray of champagne.

"Hi, I'm Tracey, my colleague Roni just decided to not help a couple because she didn't like the wife. Crazy I think she's talking about the Hamiltons because they came in here the same time." The new associate rambled off, placing the tray onto the small table next to them.

Finally looking up, Tracey's breath hitched. "Oh shit, that's you guys. Oh god, I'm sorry for my words." The younger girl apologised, eyes widened at the couple who just smiled at her.

"It's okay, lovely to meet you Tracey." Nadia smiled, amused at her actions. "What can I do for you today?" Tracey asked.

After a rather pleasant sales interaction with Tracey voicing how much she loved the both of them as a couple and as individuals, there they stood at the counter waiting for their items to be fully scanned. Lewis was very content with the pieces that Nadia had picked out for him, confident that every single one was going to look tailor made. When it came down to payment, Lewis had no problem in swiping his card as Nadia dug through her purse to find hers.

"Thank you for spending your time with us here at Gucci, Mr and Mrs Hamilton." The lady at the till said, handing the the large green bags that felt so good in Nadia's hands.

"It was really fun and tell Roni we said goodbye." Nadia smiled wickedly as she waved and walked out of the store with Lewis laughing at her words right behind her. "Damn that felt good. Gotta keep it cute and classy until it's not." She smiles as they walk to a different shop.

-

LOS ANGELES

"I swear, the powder I used for my under eyes is just super cakey." Natalia complained as she walked down the plane stairs onto the asphalt, Nadia following close behind with her carry on bag on her shoulder.

The Californianian air was different from that of Miami, less humid but a little hotter. It was late in the afternoon when the group landed, greeted by a beautiful sunset behind the Los Angeles skyline. After the impromptu shopping session, the plane was already for takeoff so everyone had hurried to be in the air by lunchtime.

Taking the time to catch up with everyone, the group shared laughs and their stories from Miami although it was less than a week that they had spent in the eccentric city. There was a gnawing feeling in the pit of Nadia's stomach, unable to get the guilt of spending Lewis' money as if it was hers. Although he reassured her multiple times that he was more than okay getting her whatever she wanted, she still felt uneasy about it all.

The all too familiar Escalades were parked on the ground, Lewis waiting patiently for Nadia to get down so that they could go to their destination. Seeing her confused face as Natalia, Miles and Daniel waved goodbye to them as everyone went to their respective cars, Lewis then spoke up. "Everyone's going their places, we're going to our house."

Snapping her head to look at him in bewilderment, she almost stopped in her tracks just to recall what he had said. "Another one?!" She whisper yelled, not wanting anyone near them to hear. He nodded with a closed smile as they reached their car with all their luggage inside, all similar to when they landed in Miami.

The morning came quite quick as the rest of the day ended with Nadia yet again exploring a new home, almost screaming when she saw the garage full of cars she only wished she could drive and you can imagine the shock when Lewis told her that in hindsight, they're her cars. In his words, "I don't really like to drive as much so you can use them as freely as you want."

Climbing out of the huge bed of the even larger guest bedroom, Nadia was careful to not wipe her eyes too much because of her extensions. Stretching every limb on her body, she walked towards the bathroom to splash water on her face to fully wake her up. The birds were still chirping from beyond the closed curtains and the sun was shining through the slivers of the curtain, creating a peaceful aura throughout the room.

Her bonnet luckily stayed on through the night, grabbing her glasses from the night stand along with her phone, she walked out of the room with her fluffy slippers on her feet. The trip downstairs was quiet and the aroma of something sweet wafted through the air, making her wonder where Lewis was.

Reaching the last step, she saw something move in the corner of her eye. Rather small, the thing moved towards her with its feet patting against the floor. Looking in its direction, the first thing she saw was the droopy mouth belonging to the short dog and her heart almost stopped, the fear running through her body as she continued to stare at the dog.

"Oh my god, please don't come close." She whispered out loud, hoping the dog would listen. Nadia was frozen in her place and she was too afraid to look anywhere else in case the dog moved towards her. "I see you've met Roscoe. Hope he's been kind." Lewis' voice spoke from behind her, crouching down to pet the dog lovingly. The silence from Nadia was odd, he turned his head to see her frightened state as she didn't move her gaze from Roscoe.

"Nads? Nads? Okay, let's get Roscoe out of here." He called out then whispered to himself, carrying the dog out of the living room then hurrying back to Nadia.

"Well that was my dog, Roscoe. I'm sorry he scared you." With a worried expression on his face, Lewis placed his hands on her arms to snap her out of her frozen state. Finally making eye contact with him through her glass lenses, she spoke up. "I-it's okay. Just have to get used to seeing him." She nodded, wanting to end the awkwardness right there.

"Anyway, good morning. Did you eat yet?" She said, slightly smiling and making her way towards the marble kitchen island, the two plates on top of it were filled with stacks of waffles with a side of fruit next to it. "Uh no, waited for you to wake up so I just took a run in the meantime." He mentioned, following behind her and took his seat across from her.

In that very moment, her heart fluttered at his words. It was so simple yet so sweet of a gesture to do for her. "Thank you for that, Lew. Let's eat up then." She replied, a shy smile on her face as she felt his eyes on her. The two dug in to their breakfast that Lewis had made for them earlier in the morning, wanting the logistics of their relationship.

"So, I need to know how you feel about pda and how much you're willing to show to the public. We have to make this look real." Nadia said, biting down on a slice of apple. "I don't have an issue with it, just as you're comfortable with it." He responded. Just nodding along, she continued to eat the fruit.

"This is just so weird to me. Three weeks ago I would've been in my apartment trying to think how i'm gonna get groceries for the month and now i'm in Los fucking Angeles eating fruit with 5 cars sitting in the garage. It's crazy." She blurted out, everything now properly dawning on her as they sat down in peace.

"Life works in mysterious ways for sure, never thought I would be sitting in my kitchen with my wife on a Wednesday morning." He said, the smallest of chuckles escaping him. "You are very good with your words, sir. A lil too good." She joked, pointing the fork at him.

"What's the plan today? I don't think I can handle anything hectic." She asked, her accent changing when she said 'hectic' . Giving her a cocked eyebrow at the sudden change of accent, Nadia looked smug.

"A little history on me. I moved to the uk at 8 years old and this south african accent stuck with me for a while until I reached high school. By then my mother decided to send me back home with my aunt and cousin to complete high school that side then year 12, I went back for university. The slang and accent never left me along with the 6 languages I know." She explained, almost bursting into laughter after seeing his face morph from curiosity to shock.

"Six?!" He vocalised. "And counting, my kids don't call me Superwoman for nothing." Biting into another piece, she smiled as her phone vibrated multiple times. Looking at the name across the screen, she immediately sighed and got up off her seat and signalled that she would be back.

The school's name flashed across her screen as she walked into the familiar hallway towards the guest bedroom.

"Hello Ms Brown! I hope this doesn't disturb your holiday." Lisa, the headmaster of the school, greeted with such enthusiasm.

"Well, it slightly is but what does that matter. Anything you need? Has the parents evening been postponed?" She scratched her head as she held the phone up to her ear.

"Uh, no. There's something I wanted to discuss with you and I thought it would be great for a one on one. We as the school has noticed you are quite the star these days, bringing much more traction than what you get from school already." Lisa chuckled at the last sentence, seeming to quiet down when she realised Nadia wasn't laughing.

"Oh, yes Ms Crawford. This was a subject I had wanted to discuss with the rest of the staff when we get back from the holidays. Of course this isn't something minuscule, all the media attention has been quite intense." Nadia responded, watching as Roscoe walked closer to her and sat by her feet.

There was a beat of silence from the other end of the phone call. "That was what I wanted to actually talk to you about, Ms Brown-"

"Its Mrs Hamilton." Nadia corrected.

"Ah yes, my apologies Mrs Hamilton. As much as we do appreciate your ways of teaching here at our school, we as the board have been thinking of releasing you from your position as the history teacher. Now I know it's all sudden but we feel it's good for our school." Lisa announced, voice filled with pity.

"Now excuse my manners, Ms Crawford, but I would like to know who all decided to quote on quote, fire me. Furthermore, when signing the work contract, you personally had assured me that you would stand behind your teachers through it all. Am I correct?" She started, standing up straight with Roscoe following suit.

"You are correct however this would ruin the reputation of the school and our relationships with other schools in the district. It truly pains us to do so." With the same false pity tone, Lisa spoke.

"I hope you do realise that we are about to start the second term of the school year after these two weeks and I do not appreciate the current dismissal you are going through with just solely because I married a prominent figure. Neither do I wish to leave my flourishing students because the board does not agree with my marriage." Nadia indicated.

"Not to mention prior to this conversation, no one had contacted me in regards to a possible sacking. So I would like for you and the rest of the board to rethink your approach on this matter. I do not accept this and this issue can be taken to court if you prefer to continue with this. And through a phone call? Really?" With that, Nadia knew she had won upon hearing the sigh on the other side of the phone.

With a few moments passing by, Lisa sighed out. "You are correct about this, I do apologise. See you after the holidays then, Mrs Hamilton." And with that, the headmaster said her goodbyes in defeat.

Crouching down to pet Roscoe, she held his face in her hands. "We fucking did that, boy. Thanks for being there, you not so bad after all." She smiled at the happy dog, standing up straight to back downstairs to finish her breakfast.

"And? What was that?" Lewis spoke up, putting his phone down next to his fruit bowl.

"These bitches tried to fire me so I said no. Can't get rid of their only history teacher." She wiggled her shoulders with the biggest smile on her face, biting down on the remaining fruits.

"And your dog's cool. Sat with me the whole time."

"Damn. Remind me to never get on your bad side. Let's get celebratory croissants?" Lewis giggled, taking both of their plates to wash them off.

"You read my mind, Sir!"

-

Standing in front of the open garage door, Nadia stared at the two cars in front of her. The sun in the courtyard was hitting her back but she didn't mind, as long as she continued to look at the cars.

Lewis' words rang in her head, unable to shake off the fact that technically, these were her cars as well. The Urus was very tempting to drive but she knew she didn't trust herself with that type of speed yet. The Mercedes GLE however, looked so classy and seemed like a joy to drive.

The decision took so long that she didn't notice that Lewis was taking pictures of the scene in front of him, his wife stuck between choosing cars to drive on the sunny streets of LA. "Can I drive today?" She asked once realising that he was next to her, wearing a comfortable outfit.

"You can drive whenever you want." He smiled, handing her the keys of the suv he knew she was going to pick. "Okay, cute. You'll be my passenger prince." She smiled, pinching his cheek then happily walked towards the driver's side.

Just sighing in content, he walked to the passenger's side, hopping in to see Nadia exploring the interior of the car, matching that of the black exterior. "This shit is huge." She muttered to herself as she leaned over to look at the backseats and all its intricate details.

"And before you say anything pookie bear, Tia made me do an international license when we didn't see each other. So you're safe driving with me." She reassured, putting her now blonde hair behind her ears.

"I think i like this passenger prince business." He expressed, already making himself in the seat, pushing it back and relaxing.

"Let me search up a bakery and we'll be on our way." Nadia started the car up and was geeked by the roar of the car.

And on their way they were. Blasting Beyoncé as Lewis suggested they go to a vegan bakery in Malibu, the two sang both old and new songs during the drive. Barely through her hip hop playlist, she found parking in front of the surprisingly popular bakery.

"Now you know I don't play about Beyoncé. I did not expect this place to be busy right now." Nadia pointed out, fixing the sunglasses on her head. "You'd be shocked at the amount of vegan people in Malibu alone. If you want, I can go in by myself and get the treats." He offered, unbuckling his seatbelt and holding his phone in his hand.

"We're going in together, I do not look this cute to sit in the car." She flipped her hair, dramatically exiting the car, making him laugh quite loud at her antics. Holding his hand out, Lewis connected his with Nadia's, feeling a chill when he felt her ring touch his skin. He led the way into the bakery, the sweet smell of the treats was a bit of a treat in itself.

Gasping at the baked goods on display, she didn't hesitate to greet and place an order, mouth salivating at the sight of the treats. Once Lewis also made his order, Nadia brought out her card to pay, wanting to test that it actually worked and it definitely did.

Enjoying the chocolate doughnuts in the bakery, the two laughed at the whole ordeal of the phone call this morning. "I've never had a good relationship with this new headmaster at all. She has been on my case since she joined two years ago." Nadia informed, drinking a bit of her pink lemonade.

"The courage of just saying no is so endearing to hear. Can't believe she wanted to sack you in the middle of a term. Again, the courage is so cool, Nads." He complimented her and he watched as her shoulders started to rise as a way of blushing.

"Thanks, pookie bear. Means a lot. So where to from here?" She asked, ignoring his gaze on her the whole time.

"We've got lunch with friends of mine, then home time." He said so calmly, not noticing Nadia's eyes widening at the information.

"I'm not dressed for lunch with your friends, Lew! Could've warned a girl first." She stressed, looking down at her outfit. "Wanted you to be comfortable the whole day hence I didn't tell you our plans today." He showed his full smile, wanting so badly to laugh at her facial expression.

"You are so lucky you're sitting across me right now or else I would've bitten you." She rolled her eyes at his giggles. 

Within a matter of time, the Mercedes suv entered through the high black gates of their destination with a press of a button on the intercom outside. Nadia drove in the driveway quite slowly, unfamiliar with her surroundings as she saw a cars parked in the courtyard. The sound of the waves crashing could be heard when stepping out of the car.

"Damn your friend's got bank." She commented, opening the backseat door to get her purse. "And by the sea too? I just know it's a different world here." She added, closing her door and locked the car when she saw Lewis walk closer to her with a smirk on his face.

"Yeah, Bey and Jay wanted serenity next to the sea." He said, looking back at Nadia who was frozen in her tracks.

"Did you just fucking say Bey and Jay?!" She whisper yelled as she pulled Lewis closer to her. He nodded with the same expression he had from before. "Are you fucking crazy? I can't meet Beyoncé, Lewis! I'm not ready!" Nadia's stress levels were sky high as she held onto his arm tighter, standing by the car.

"Wanted to tell you earlier but when you started playing her music in the car, just knew I had to surprise you." He smiled. "Look, if it makes it any better, she's excited to meet you as well." Lewis told her and if her eyes couldn't get any wider, she looked behind her husband's broad arm to see the woman of the hour walk towards them.

"There you two are! We were scared y'all weren't coming no more!" The happy southern voice rang through the courtyard and Nadia was scared shitless. "My goodness, Lewis! She's a beauty. Hi, I'm Beyoncé." The woman introduced herself to Nadia and she quickly snapped out of it once she realised her favourite artist was speaking directly to her.

"Hello, I'm Nadia." She managed to speak up as Beyoncé extended her hand out to shake hers. Surprisingly enough, Nadia's hands weren't sweaty neither did she stutter over her words like she thought she would. The woman went on to greet Lewis with a side hug then invited them inside.

"It was so lovely meeting you guys, a full circle moment on my end." Nadia smiled, holding onto her purse and onto Rumi's hand, the little girl so interested in everything that has to do with Nadia. "No, it was our pleasure to host you guys. My God, a couple I never saw coming. Y'all welcome back here anytime." Beyoncé said, the group of 4 walking towards the front door and into the courtyard once again.

"We'll definitely take you up on that offer, thank you for inviting us into your lovely home. Better get home before it gets too dark." Nadia replied, leaning into the hug between her and Bey whilst looking at the sunset over the horizon.

"We'll catch y'all in Paris." Jay Z smiled with a toothpick in his mouth. He dapped Lewis up as everyone said their goodbyes after a successful lunch. Now sitting in the passenger seat, Nadia held her head in her hands as he swiftly drove out the long driveway.

"I just met Beyoncé, I don't think you understand the damage you just did." She turned to Lewis, who kept the same smile as before. "And that is?" "I'm never going to stop talking about it."

"I'm glad you're happy. Saw an opportunity and I ran for it." He voiced, patting her thigh before putting his hand back on the steering wheel. "Remind me to give you the biggest hug when we get home." She smiled, becoming comfortable in the seat, not knowing how much Lewis' heart raced after hearing her refer to the house as home.

-

FRIDAY

"Stay still! I need my vision to come to life." Nadia ordered, holding his face in her hands. There were two different earrings on his ears and she was trying to decide which better suited the outfit. "Okay, wear the first pair then go to the mirror and tell me what you think." She requested, standing back to let him look at his outfit.

"Oh this is really good. Ooh, this outfit is good." He admired his outfit in the mirror, impressed by her styling and how she kept it simple yet so him.

"Glad you love it. Let me go get changed so that we won't be late." She rushed, almost running out of his room to hers, luckily her hair and makeup was done. Nadia quickly put on her outfit and made sure to take pictures in the big mirror in the closet.

Soothing over her top, she then places her sunglasses on her head and spritz her perfume for the last time before stepping out the room. At the same time, Lewis stepped out of his room and glanced at her outfit before doing a double take.

Everything sat so perfectly, the outfit had really simple colours that weren’t too loud but her silhouette accentuated it all. Both outfits complimented each other greatly whilst showing their own style individually. “Wow.” He blurted out, hoping that she didn’t hear that.

“Damn I did good.” She muttered to herself as she looked at him as well, very proud of her styling.

“You ready to go?” Lewis asked, finally focusing on her face and fidgeting with his rings. “Yeah, yeah.” She said in a light voice, carefully walking towards the stairs then feeling his hand slip into hers to help her downstairs.

“Remember, this isn’t real,Nadia.”

“Remember, this isn’t real, Lewis.”

nadiahamilton • 15 min ago “great day to be a lakers fan”

-

dividers by: @cafekitsune

nadia’s faceclaim: @/unclewaffles on ig!

all pictures are from ig and pinterest!

taglist: @non-stop-imagines @tispys-blog @userlando @lorarri @thisismeracing @thatsdemko @myescapefromthislife @slytherinjimin3nthusiast @jamie2305 @like-fire-love-blog @sugardontbesweet @simpfortoomanymen @mauvecherie-writes @queenshikongo3 @eugene-emt-roe @deepgothfiremuffin @18754389 @cherry2stems @anubisnoir @littlelizzies-world @httpsserene @apenasumlug4r @youre-sooooo-funny @eddiesbitch83 @arshiyuh @alika-4466 @peyiswriting @sunfairyy @roseseraj @vsfavs @goldenalbon @mistruscity @tian-monique @hopefulromantic1 @exotic-iris13 @yeea-nah @nichmeddar @gg-trini @lifeless-firefly @vellicora @takeoffz-tookoff9876 @serpenttines-writes

(if your acc is blank, that means tumblr didn’t add you!)

#saint writes #lewis hamilton x oc #lewis hamilton fanfics #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton x black reader #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton fic #f1 x oc #f1 x black!reader #f1 fic #renaissance: the series

[writersdrug]

Ghost x Konig x Reader: I Don't Need You (Ch. 6)

<- Previous - Next ->

Summary: You (surprisingly) get more comfortable with Kortac, and slowly let yourself connect with the team. You subconsciously tether yourself to Konig, who is more than willing to help you fit in. The pain of the past begins to fade into the back of your mind like the end of a long chapter of your life.

Additionally, Konig starts asking the hard questions - it unearths a piece of you that you'd hoped would remain buried, but you still share the memories with Konig.

Chapter warnings: Mentions of violence, mentions of rape, cursing, google translate German, shirtless Soap, very EXTREMELY watered-down mentions of sexual themes (we ain't there yet, boiis)

Notes: Sorry it took so long, I've got a lot cooking in the kitchen now and I'm hoping to pump out a lot this week!

Additionally, I've had some comments on this work not being an x Reader. First off, I never want to mislead anyone. I label this as an x Reader because Bonnie is not an OC of mine. I've seen other x Reader fics include callsigns that refer to the reader, so I assumed using Bonnie similarly would be alright. I also mentioned a name ONCE in chapter 3, "Jane Morris," which I thought to be a very generic name, and I haven't used it since and don't plan to. I have a personal preference of writing longer, chapter-by-chapter fics in first POV because it feels more natural to me than second POV. The same goes for using y/n - I like to avoid it if I can because it feels unnatural.

Again, those last two thing are a personal preference. I'm not bashing any fics that use these things at all, I enjoy both ones that do and ones that don't, and I don't enjoy one over the other. When I say one feels more natural than the other, I mean it feels more natural to write, not to read. I'm debating changing the name I used in chapter 3 to just y/n l/n to make this a true x Reader. If you still feel like I should change this to an x OC please let me know and I'll be happy to adjust the tags, titles, and descriptions. Again, I never meant to be misleading, and I hope I didn't make anyone angry. If a mistake has been made I am happy to learn from it. Thanks!

Konig had cracked the code on me. He figured out that after a case of American beers and a long drive, away from the crowd of new faces, my outer shell began to soften.

There was still a wall that I was holding up between me and everyone else, even though it was significantly smaller than usual. When Roze and Castillo approached me at breakfast, I didn’t get up and leave. And when Juno used the empty spot in the gym room right next to me, dropping his bag on the floor and giving me a cautious glance as he set up for his routine - I didn’t grab my things and move to the other end of the room. That was my first instinct, but I fought it. Instead I huffed, facing the mirror in front of me and focusing on my sets.

I’d started going to the common area more often – maybe not every night, but often enough. We’d make it a habit to play poker on the nights I did show up. I was better than most of the group, since none of them were quite used to my mannerisms yet. However, Konig and Horangi still took the lead as the winners, despite most of us arguing that they shouldn’t be allowed to play if they were going to wear their masks. The argument would eventually turn into a casual conversation – I didn’t engage in it too often. I preferred to sit and listen, using the time to slowly learn more about the team. I typically planted myself between Roze and Konig, keeping my legs crossed on the seat and nervously fiddling with my Yuengling bottle.

Although I was ashamed to admit it, Konig had become a conduit for my interactions with the rest of the team. The way he engaged with their activities, yet still managed to stay reserved, struck a chord with me. I respected the fact that it could sometimes be difficult to find him on base, and that at the same time, he was always there when I started to feel overwhelmed. I didn’t need him, no… that was a stretch. But sometimes I felt grateful that he was so eager to accompany me places – especially when he invited me to go on “perimeter checks” with him, which mostly consisted of long drives off base.

I don’t know how I had grown to appreciate him so much – maybe it was because he felt similar to me, in the way that we both needed our alone time, and with how we often found ourselves slipping out of the common area around the same time, with the original excuse being that we were tired. Half of the time, we would sit in the mess hall and talk until the early hours of the morning.

“A sniper?” I asked on one particular night, fiddling with the mouth of my beer bottle. “You’re way to big for that – no offense.”

Konig chuckled. “And that’s what they initially told me.” He took a swig of his (nasty) German beer. “But, despite being handed other opportunities, I proved them wrong. I’m sill a damn good sniper.”

I huffed. “Nah, you should be happy you got promoted to Colonel; you’re lucky, you get to avoid being in the trenches – at least, as much as the rest of us.”

“Lucky? No…” Konig said, shaking his head. “I do not like being a Colonel. I’d much rather be doing the dirty work of soldiers than writing these stupid reports.” He slapped a large hand over the manilla folder that sat on the table next to his beer. “It keeps my head busy, and I don’t have to listen to myself think.”

I nodded while sipping my beer. “I completely get that – If I’m not actively doing something with my hands, my brain gets too loud. Like – like there’s a mini me in my head, and the only way to drown her out is by physically doing something. Anything, really.”

Konig laughed – almost a snort – “‘A mini you’. I like that, that’s good.”

I huffed a laugh through my nose, turning my head to hide the smirk on my face. Despite being a large, brutish man, he had a youthful essence about him. It was hidden deep beneath the thick exterior of a war-hardened soldier. But, every now and again, it rose to the surface, touching a part of my soul I hadn’t allowed to be seen in a long time.

I pushed my stack of bills into the middle of the table. “All in.” I said nonchalantly.

Gaz narrowed his eyes, leaning back in his chair and looking down his nose at me. “You’re bloody stupid…”

“Or really smart.” I retorted. I folded my arms over my chest, not wavering under his intimidating gaze.

It was unbearably hot in the room – whether that was from the tension of the game or the broken air conditioner (Price eternally insisted it would be fixed, “… by next week…”), I didn’t know. I was donned in my sweatpants and sports bra, Gaz was in a wife beater and sweats, Ghost was covered head to toe in a sweatshirt and jeans (one could ever rarely catch him wearing anything less), and Soap… well, Soap was Soap. Completely shirtless, with only a pair of gym shorts on. Typical for him to be so shameless.

Ghost looked at his cards, his jaw clearly tense underneath his mask. He wasn’t very good at hiding his unlucky hand – it was almost like he wasn’t even trying. Which was a possibility.

“Fucking hell… I fold.” He tossed his hand onto the table, revealing his sour bunch of cards. He walked to the fridge and cursed under his breath, rummaging through the contents.

“Jesus, you’re a load of dry shite.” Soap commented, leaning against the wall adjacent to Ghost. “You could’ve at least tried to intimidate ‘em.”

“You could try shutting your fucking mouth, alright?” Ghost snapped back. Soap raised his hands defensively, leaving Ghost by the fridge.

He flopped onto the couch near me and Gaz. “Miserable sap…”

I did my best to tune out their bickering. I stared down Gaz, tapping my fingers on the edges of my cards. I was relying on the river card – I had a chance at a four-of-a-kind, praying the last card on the table would be another seven.. It was risky, and Gaz was probably right in calling me stupid. But I was never one to back down from a challenge. I craved the thrill of it. Most of the time, I ended up getting lucky.

Gaz chewed his lip. He cocked an eyebrow, slowly pushing all of his cash to the middle of the table. “Call.” He said.

And I heard it – the telltale sign of his bluff. A fraction of a second where his voice had waivered, followed by him grinding his jaw. I knew I had it in the bag.

I was savoring the moment of triumph, watching Gaz stare at his cards, when I felt a hand on my back. I nearly spun around and yelled at whoever touched me, until I saw a gloved hand place a Yuengling bottle to my right, the lid already popped off. I faltered, staring at the bottle, feeling the hand on my back rubbing a thumb back and forth over my spine.

I glanced behind me, looking up to meet Ghost’s eyes. He was looking down at me with an empty gaze. His eyebrows twitched for a brief moment as he continued rubbing his thumb over the skin of my back.

I knew what he was suggesting. What he was asking. Put a woman on a compound with broken, touch-starved men, and eventually one of them will succumb to the temptation. Even so, I was shocked that it was Ghost. I would say he was showing a weakness here, no matter what he decided to call this – it was an admission that he needed something – something from me, specifically – which I never thought would happen.

He continued staring at me for another few moments, waiting for an answer. Keeping my eyes locked on him, I took the bottle and drank; my reply. He gave the tiniest nod, walking away and sitting down next to Soap – who was shuffling the remaining deck of cards, eyes narrowed at Gaz. He knew he was bluffing too.

I turned back to Gaz, smirking as he revealed the river card.

“You ever think about what you would say to those kids now?” I asked, tapping my beer bottle. “The ones who bullied you.”

Konig hummed. “Mm… not really. I don’t hold too much resentment.”

I chuckled. “If only we could all be a saint.”

“Well, it all happened so long ago.” Konig tried to justify himself. “We were only kids, bored and trying to stay on the surface. They just wanted to look tough so that no one would pick on them. Of course, I wouldn’t understand that as a kid. Maybe then, I would have admired what I’ve become, and I would have wanted to boast about it. But now that I am a Colonel – Ich habe besseres zu tun.”

I sarcastically rolled my eyes. “And that means?”

“Ehh…” he groaned, squinting his eyes. “How is it said… ‘I have bigger fishes to cook.’”

I sputtered, turning my head and laughing. Konig glared at me. “Gibt es ein Problem?” he asked, which I sort of understood. He sounded irritated, that much I could tell.

“No, Konig…” I said, standing up and giving him a pat on the shoulder as I walked by. “Just keep up the English lessons, ok?”

He scowled. “Verpiss dich… Start learning German and maybe I will.” He retorted, and I waved at him dismissively from behind my back.

I stuck my head into the fridge, grabbing a Yuengling and one of Konig’s beers. I walked back and placed them both next to him. Like instinct, he took each one and hooked their lid onto the edge of the table, then smacked the side of his hand down on the tops, sending the lid clattering to the ground. He opened my beer and handed it to me, then repeated the process with his, before reaching down and collecting the lids. He added them to the pile, totaling six beer lids so far.

If someone had shown me this image a year ago – Konig and I, sitting up late into the night, chatting like we’d known each other for decades… not to mention the fact that I was so unusually open with him… I would have been insulted. I would have laughed. No one would have been able to convince me that I would become so attached to anyone else after what had happened with the 141. Yet, all of this felt so natural. It was beyond how I felt that Konig and I were kindred spirits… it really did feel like I’d known him before. Maybe, he reminded me of a part of myself that I tried to bury away.

Or, maybe, I was just submitting to loneliness and trying to justify how quickly I clung to the first available soul. That was also an embarrassing possibility, one that I would rather not admit to.

“I have a question for you.” Konig’s voice and the clink of his beer bottle on the table brought me back to reality.

“I might have an answer.” I replied.

He looked off to the side, perhaps wondering whether or not he really wanted to ask the question. “Who did you kill? And why?”

Just like that, I felt the walls being built right back to where I had them. Bonding time’s over. Back to square one.

His inquiry caught me off guard. I froze, my bottle hovering in the air before I could take a sip, my eyes glued to the table. Just the mention of the incident brought the painful memories up to the surface, like claws scraping at the dirt, digging up the deepest roots.

“Lots of people.” I said, deflecting. I took a swig of my beer.

“You know what I mean.” He scoffed. “Why did you end up in military prison?” He leaned over the table – clearly not planning on letting the topic go.

I sucked my teeth, staring at him defiantly – moments ago, it was pleasant talking to him. Now, I was fighting back the urge to leave him at the table and go to my dorm. I felt ambushed at how he had changed the subject so abruptly. Like he had been waiting for me to carelessly stumble into the trap, and now he was watching me snarl from within it.

He leaned back with a sigh. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I just thought we were getting somewhere here.”

“Oh?” I said dryly, cocking an eyebrow. “’Getting somewhere?’ What’s that sup-“

“Hey, it’s ok.” He raised his hands defensively. “I get it. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” His words were forgiving, but his eyes said something else – I knew what he was thinking.

Weak.

I gave him a hateful stare. Fucker know how to play his cards.

“I killed a sergeant.” I admitted. “My lieutenant’s right-hand man.”

That got Konig’s attention. He leaned forward again, putting his bottle off to the side. “Why?” he asked again.

I inhaled deeply, then exhaled, as I leaned back in my chair. My eyes fell to the floor as I forced myself to recall the memories. “In Egypt, a while back. Don’t ask when because I won’t tell you.” I warned Konig, and he huffed – but obliged.

I continued. “We were going in to retrieve a hostile target. Everyone was jumpy – me included. It was dark, and we didn’t know what to expect. After the hostiles started to engage, we were scattered. I got stuck in one tower, so I went upstairs to try and make a foxhole.”

I paused. It was now my own hands, covered in dirt, clawing at the roots of the memory. Each word I said was painful, yet somehow felt overshared. Like I was trying to get Konig to pity me. Except I wasn’t – I just wanted him to listen.

And that’s exactly what he did. No comforting shoulder pat, no soothing words… he just listened. He knew that if he stepped on the wrong spot, it would break my openness, like a branch breaking under his foot would disturb the silence of the woods.

“The sergeant – ‘Flare’ – he was up there, too. I thought we’d had the same idea, but… holy fuck…” I ran a hand down my face, feeling my heartbeat grow faster. “At first, I didn’t know what he was doing, I just heard him making those sounds and I thought he’d been hit, but… he was taking advantage of this – this woman – and with her kids right fucking there… she was probably just trying to hide, to hide them, she had to be so fucking scared… he didn’t even stop when I found him, I don’t know if he even heard me screaming at him.”

I paused, almost waiting for Konig to say or do something, but he remained silent. Despite my eyes never leaving the floor, I could see his blue ones watching me carefully. Concerned, patient, and calm.

“I didn’t know what else to do.” I said, my voice faltering the slightest bit. “So I shot him. In the head.” I unintentionally shivered. “Probably traumatized that poor woman and her kids, but… quick decisions aren’t the best ones.”

I ended my rant with a heavy sip of my beer. Konig continued watching me with wary eyes, which I ignored. I didn’t need consolation, or sympathy, or whatever he might try to offer. Somehow, he seemed to understand that.

“I would have done the same thing.” He commented.

Would you?

After a moment, he exhaled. “I don’t understand… I’d say you were in the right. Why did they put you in prison for that?”

I chewed my lip. “There was… some speculation, that I was jealous of his position. We’d been close throughout my time with the team, and when he got the promotion to second-in-command, I was a bit envious at first. People thought I was taking my anger out on him in what seemed like the perfect opportunity to lie.” I took another sip. “But I was happy for him. He worked hard, and he deserved it. But then the pressure got to him – Lieutenant was always depending on him for too much, and Flare couldn’t handle the responsibility. If he slipped up, it was a lot worse than if one of the rest of us did. I guess… the pressure is what got him in the end. Made him crazy in the end. He didn’t have any morals anymore.”

More silence. It felt uncomfortably loud – Konig’s stare seemed to make my head ring, making me fidget and bounce my knee. I wanted to snap at him. What are you looking at? Why are you asking so many fucking questions? But I was able to keep my anger at bay, justifying the situation by assuming his questions were fueled by nothing more than curiosity.

I figured I had said enough for the night, and finished off the rest of my beer. I slapped my leg, the telltale sign that I was getting ready to turn in.

Konig ignored it, or seemed to not notice. “Why did you kill him?” he asked.

I narrowed my eyes in confusion. “Why did I? What do you mean?”

“Why kill him? Why not just… disable him for the moment, and let your commander deal with him later?”

I opened my mouth to speak, but my voice was a second too late. “Again… in the heat of the moment, you don’t make distinctions like that. You think: ‘shoot,’ or ‘don’t shoot.’ And shooting him was the choice I made.”

Konig’s gaze became scrutinous. He knew I was lying about something… he was hellbent on figuring out what.

He’s going to have to wait a long damn time.

“Goodnight, Konig.” I said flatly. I collected my bottles, getting up from the table. With a clang, I tossed them into the bin by the exit, walking down the hall and leaving Konig sitting alone in the mess hall. I feel tears stinging my eyes, but that’s all they did. It’s all just water under the bridge, y/n. Get it together. You’re alright.

-----

Taglist: @igotmajordaddyissues @princekonig @vixionix

#konig x reader #konig x reader smut #konig cod #konig smut #call of duty #cod x reader #ghost x reader #ghost x reader smut #ghost cod #cod #konig #ghost #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon riley x reader

[nataliaphantomhivesblog]

What are your current fandoms??

OH MY GOD!!! I WAS WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO ASK ME THIS!! LETS GOOOO🥳🥳🥳

1. Black Butler<3

It would've been incredibly distasteful to not put this beauty on top of my list. I have been a fan of this one since 5th grade, the literal backbone of my insanity.

I may complain monthly over the agnoizingly short chapters, but the narrative and storytelling in this manga is one of my favorites ever.

Although you didn't ask, I have the need to mention: Ciel Phantomhive is my child!!

And yes, I am still awaiting Prince Soma's return.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a sebaciel wierdo and my space doesn't welcome the romanticization of pedophila. "waah waah but it's fiction!" okay?? my account is dedicated on fictional stories and characters and I don't want your wacky shit here. Thank you in advance.

2. Bungou Stray Dogs!!!

What a crime it would've been if I didn't mention the reason my account grew in the first place!!

BSD has such a special place in my heart. Tbh bsd saved me during the downfall that was 2021.

I think people who aren't new to my blog know I'm a sucker for Soukoku. I've made extensive analysis on their relationships for 3 years now. When will this brainrot end!?!?

And oh, of course I am forever greatful to the lovely @ryuuaka713 for collaborating with me on various post, I couldn't have done it without her!! Hope life treats you well! You got a tumblr friend always rooting for ya<3

ALSO: If any of you ever want to ask me anything regarding bsd that isn't Soukoku, please do! I love bsd as a whole and would be happy to answer<3

3. Berserk

Let me make one thing clear!!! I am NOT a berserk reddit fanboy who completely ignores and neglects the narrative of this story in order to fill whatever inner void that needs to be filled.

I am suuuper passionate about the Golden Age Arc and the Pre Eclipse era of Berserk, it would be impossible to shut me up about it.

I could go on billion rants about Griffith's character and his actual complexities throughout the narrative. (no, he isn't emotionless, that would destory the whole point of the story lol)

Also I want to give a not-so-subtle shoutout to @bthump for validating every single thought I had while reading Berserk and always providing textual evidence. Thank you for being the light in the darkness of this fandom!

4. Death Note

sighs yes I am still in the fandom of an anime that has only one season and ended so poetically that it makes perfect sense that it doesn't have a continuation yet my brain screams for content when obviously it will never happen.

Before anyone asks, I am not team Light or team L, both of them are selfish people and used others lives in order to beat one another.

I am a constant defender of the fact that the Death Note consumed Light. Not only is it textually stated; but it's visually stated

(Light's eyes get wider and more innocent looking for a reason when he forgets the death note guys!!!)

Anyways, this story is absolutely awesome and I think most people can agree with that.

I don't rewatch this anime often, but when I do I get shooked by the big brain plans and big brain confrontations lmao.

5. Moral Orel

"MORAL OREL SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN CANCELLED!! FOOLISH PEOPLE FEARED IT SPOKE TOO MUCH FACTS" I scream into a void, tears fill my eyes as losing my religion by R.E.M plays in the background.

Seriously though, I love this show; a literal masterpiece. I don't think theres any show that made me incredibly concious of how my own family's dynamic worked as this one did.

Has amazing takes of the human condition and contains life long lessons.

I once made a long post about the generational abuse of moral orel if you want to check it out!

Anyways, if you haven't had the glorious chance to watch this masterpiece. PLEASE DO!! I BEG!!! The whole series is out on youtube!

we don't talk about the first 3 episodes!!!

6. Sonic!!!!

I never post anything sonic related on my blog, but I adore Sonic! Not only my childhood, but it continues to pump off amazing content and games.

Fun fact: I have a cute mini sonic keychain my friend gifted me, I take it with me everywhere!!

DID YOU KNOW THAT KELLIN QUINN FROM SLEEPING WITH SIRENS WAS INVOLVED WITH THE SONIC FRONTIERS SOUNDTRACK!?!?!? AAAAAAA I LOVE SONIC GAMES MUSIC AND ITS DIVERSITY

Nobody asked, but my favorie character is Knuckles and Shadow for anyone who wants to know! (No one wants to know but I HAVE THE NEED TO SAY IT.)

anyways yes, I love Sonic, I am at arms-lenght with the fandom since i'm... well... not much into the furry stuff that goes on. But theres lots of fanmade content out there that is super cool!

IN CONCLUSION!?!?!?

I have lots and lots of other fandoms im in but i fear i will go on forever if I keep on talking.

Thank you so much for reading all the way through and please, don't ever hesitate to ask me anything related to any of these fandoms above. Hyper analizing stuff is my speciality after all:D

#fandoms #inbox #black butler #kuroshitsuji #bsd #bungou stray dogs #soukoku #berserk #berserk manga #griffith berserk #ciel phatnomhive #death note #llight yagami #moral orel #orel puppington #adult swim #sonic #kellin quinn #knuckles the echidna #shadow the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog

[antonnieely]

before our last stage of 2023...:D

hello! to everyone who might be reading this, hi! haha, i just felt that, while i am a native english speaker, as all of you must know by now, i haven't really had or taken the chance to express myself in english. so, as another year comes to a close, i wanted to write down some of the things i've been thinking about lately and also share my thoughts with anyone who bothers to read this. haha. I’m not someone who usually journals or writes down my thoughts regularly, but i do sometimes find myself doing so near this time, at the end of the year, as a sort of self-reflection on what i've felt and experienced over the course of the year. what have i accomplished? can i honestly say i tried my best? or maybe how i've changed, or haven't changed, and so on and so forth. so while i'm still only 19 years young with lots more to learn and experience, i think i can say with confidence that even when looking back many years later, 2023 will, to me, have been one of the most important years of my life. Thinking back to the start of 2023, i had been going through some turbulent times. i recently looked through some photos from around this time last year, and what i saw was a very different version of myself. changes happen naturally, big or small, so i'm not saying i'm surprised at how much has changed. but just last year, i was still a trainee, not knowing when i would be able to debut and unsure of whether or not things were going the way they should. i think i should've had more confidence in myself, given the fact that i had left my previous life behind to pursue this dream of mine. but what a relief it is that i've at least gotten to where i am today, and i am proud of myself for having seen things through to the end, although i have not yet felt the satisfaction i once thought i would after debuting. more than that, i think i've been able to realize more fully what it is i want to achieve as an artist and learned that it tends to be harder to be content. and more than anything, i've felt a lot of gratitude towards my family and friends who've always supported me and to the team i've been so blessed to be a part of. and of course, to the fans that have found us and have joined us in our "journey" to achieve great things. No matter how hard i might try, realistically i can only see things from my point of view and in turn only have the right to speak on the things i have personally experienced. so for that reason, i don't believe in assigning levels to struggle, as all people can only speak on the things they are going through. but if there is anyone out there who might be feeling their way through their own obstacles, i hope that they can at least find the strength to not give up. I think that all people perceive time quite differently, so a very long time for someone can seem very short to another. i, for one, feel that time flows very quickly, so right now, i can't believe another year has gone by so fast. but in a year so full of things to remember, i truly am grateful for all the highs and lows i went through. just about four months have passed since our debut. only four months? already four months? what might be some of my new year's resolutions... stay true to myself? and continue to work hard to fulfill my ambitions. and for riize to stay rising. heh. My rant. thank you, and happy new year 🧡

[dreamsculptor]

It hasn't been quite a year, but I looked back here and saw my last pinned post, and thought I might make another.

I was reading over my last pinned post and it's funny how much better things have gotten since then. I don't have the same job, I work somewhere else now, and it shows me how much better things can be. I was holding my head above the water with the last team I worked with, but now I have coworkers and managers that care about and support me.

Last time, I mentioned that my birthday had passed, and that just a small few friends came by for a little while but had to leave. I was happy for it but this year was so much better and it was what I had hoped for last year.

I had most of the same, I just invited my coworkers and friends to come hang out, have cake and food and such. A bunch of my coworkers came by and stayed well until 10 or 11 at night before everyone started heading home, and it was so much fun, and so fulfilling. It took 24 years but I finally have what I wished for all along: people that I can physically be with, that I have some kind of tangible love with. Life is full of hits-and-misses and attempted connections and bitter failures, but eventually you do get your chance. It was all worth it in the end.

I finished FFXIV, too, which is fun! Now I'm part of the crowd waiting with bated breath for the next expansion, but now that I have finished it, I find myself needing new ways to fill the time that used to be playing FF. I've picked up, played, and even finished some handful of games; Palworld, Vintage Story, a bit of Transistor, and the ever-beloved Sims. And in every game I play I find myself delightfully driven to create and write and join in on the world.

I managed to find and join a company in FFXIV that's focused on roleplay, and I've been having a lot of fun with Sye, but I've also created Takumi now too! They've got all their bits and pieces in motion, but aside from that, I also reached out to and joined an RP-focused Vintage Story server. It's been a lot of fun finally getting to indulge these things that I wanted to do for so long, but tried and failed so many times.

I've also been befriending my company mates, many of whom also love to write and draw and otherwise create. I got to read the draft of the first chapter of my friend's book; I am proofreading and editing for another one of them; and yet another has given me a link to their old D&D information for me to go read. I've made new friends, in and out of FFXIV, and even they have tons of amazing art and writing to share. Even in other games, like Vintage Story, I'm playing with friends and forming towns where we actually work together and delegate specific tasks to people who want to do them. It feels like all of the joys I experienced as a kid are finally being re-ignited in the best way possible.

I haven't written too much - if you don't count roleplay posts - but I have been indulging the ~egotistical~ love of my own voice. It's been fun making pseudo-audiobooks of the fics I've written and singing all of the songs that I love and getting to talk and laugh with my company mates and other friends.

All in all, I think I can say I'm happy with where my life is right now. I'll leave this with a pristine verse from Kristoff Krane this time:

Making love, making friends, no doubt I make a difference There's positive and negative effects of my decisions And although my dreams are selfish, I hope you can relate May my attempts at being honest resurrect the fact I'm fake

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Instead of albums, this time, I leave you with songs:

Passing Through - Kaden MacKay Thank You Energy - Kristoff Krane Doing My Thing - Kristoff Krane Knocking on Wood - Spose Okay - Atmosphere

[grian-love]

Admit it, Grian. You LIKE being indebted to Scar!

#10 minutes after posting this i realized that i forgot to add a very important piece of dialogue #i hope not too many ppl have seen that version (i forgot the mumbo text at the bottom of the first pic) #grian misses the sand duo and so do i #although i am happy that they haven't teamed up *yet(?)* since this is a new season and they're switching things up! #(sort of lmao) #last life spoilers #last life #last life smp #grian #mumbo jumbo #goodtimeswithscar #Last Life Episode 5 #fanart #my.art

[azurityarts]

Your Pmd OCs are really cool! I know one is called Skye and one is called Brooke, but what are all their names?

Daily Doodle #77

An Improper Proper Introduction

I spent. Way too much time on this.

MEET THE GANG!

Rescue Team

Arcas

Liselotte (Lilo)

I'm going in order of the games, but I actually played Explorers before Rescue Team! Gotta say, I absolutely loved the Friend Areas; they definitely made the world more engaging and expansive!

As for my team though, Arcas was actually an adaptation from a D&D character I made; a Dragonborn monk iirc. I don't quite remember where I got the name Lilo for a Cyndaquil from, though I recently retconned it to be a nickname of sorts. Names are fun!

In terms of playtime, Rescue Team is definitely the lowest for me. That being said, I've gotten more attached to these two little shits over the course of my doodles and shitposts than I ever thought I would.

Explorers

"Silent"

Arina

Explorers was my first ever Pokemon Mystery Dungeon game, though not my first exposure to the series. Specifically, I managed to pick up Explorers of Sky some years back, and that copy holds as my oldest PMD game.

And the fact that it's "old" helps explain my team's names; unlike my other teams where my initial goal was turning them into characters, my Explorers roster was just named after me and my old best friend. I just put our old usernames, but I still find it ironic that my old name is still appropriate given the "silent protagonist" trope PMD games usually run. Due to personal reasons though, both are now characters!

Explorers holds the title for the time I've sunk into PMD games, and it isn't even close. Incredible story, postgame, music, characters, and more; there's a reason why Explorers is considered the best entry in the series. Over 70 hours I've put into the game, and I don't intend to stop anytime soon!

Gates to Infinity

Brooke

Axdrew

Gates to Infinity was my first exposure to PMD? Is this a shocker? I'm not actually sure, but yep, the first time I had set my eyes upon this series was Marriland's playthough of GTI. I loved his voices as a kid, and I'm very happy to have finally gotten to play the game I idolized as a kid.

I had originally planned for Brooke to be another "quiet type" protagonist, but I noticed that the hero in GTI talks a lot more than in previous installments, and is also a bit sassier? Really glad I got the opportunity to give someone a more lively, snarkier personality that I don't often give my characters. Axdrew was a name given by a friend, and I've recently considered "Drew" as a hypocorism, but I'm still debating on that one.

Gates to Infinity gets so much flak, and maybe I'm just biased due to my history with the game, but it does NOT deserve the amount of hate it does. (There seems to be a theme with Gen 5 getting bashed before getting beloved tho...) I've sung the praises for GTI in old posts, so I won't be going on another rant (this is already the longest section here), but even if everyone pulls up with pitchforks and torches, I'll still hold this game close to my heart.

Super Mystery Dungeon

So, uh, this is awkward? I haven't actually played through PSMD yet. ^^; Between school, life, art, and other stuff going apeshit recently, I haven't had the time to start a new game. I'm excited for when I do though, since it apparently links all of the previous installments together. (Although I am still particularly upset that nicknames for recruits aren't a thing anymore ;-;)

Bonus!

Skye

Azure

Original OCs anyone? Yeah, I'm not too sure anyone's that interested in a random Absol or the 3817th Umbreon OC, but I've had these two for the longest time, even before I started playing Explorers! I guess it doesn't count to include them in this list, since they're not explicitly PMD-related, but I've been trying to write a story of sorts with 'em for a while now (though I've not got a clue if it's any good lol). Both of them have gone through a lot of changes and tweaks over the years, but they're definitely here to stay. :)

If you've made it to the end, thank you for reading! I've been meaning to introduce these fellas for a while now; my original plan was to showcase each of them individually through reference sheets, but that stuff takes way longer than I anticipated. ^^; I've always been nervous when it comes to really explaining the who for my OCs, but I'm really glad this ask came through to push me to make this. Thank you! If anyone's interested, y'all can ask my OCs things! I've seen a bunch of different PMD ask blogs and they're really cool- I'm completely new to this kind of stuff, but I'm willing to experiment! :D

Credit to Nicely Olo for the PMD Badges used in the background!

#pokemon #pkmn #art #pokemon mystery dungeon #pmd #pmd rescue team #rescue team #pmd explorers #explorers #pmd gti #gates to infinity #gti #pokemon super mystery dungeon #pokemon oc #pmd ocs #cubone #cyndaquil #shinx #vulpix #oshawott #axew #absol #umbreon #i mentioned this before in an earlier post but i swear it was not intentional to give half of these guys yellow eyes #this is the most amount of tags ive had to type damn #also should i make tags for the characters themselves? lmk if yall are interested #this took so long #god i hope yall like it lmao

[bemylord]

truth or dare

peirings: kuroo x fem!reader x kenma.

warnings: smut, aged up, oral, gagging, threesome, nipples play, overstimulating, hint of poly relationship.

w/c: 1.9k

kuroo and kenma are your closest friends - both of them would help you out anytime or talk to your whenever you want it. both of them are happy to spend their evenings with you: they're needed for your relaxing body massage you once give them or you both prefer to watch anime. sometimes, you do the homework - the time where's kuroo yelling at you and kenma for being bad at the subject. although, if you're getting good grades at school, he still mad - you aren't good at his point. after studying, both of you would play a video game. now, kenma is the best player among you.

'how is that possible you don't know how to play? gosh, i'll show only once, i won't teach you forever, nerds'

quiet notes from kenma to you on how to win kuroo.

generally, they both are funny and good friends. one call to kuroo or kenma and he'll be around you, comforting his friend.

'till the moment kuroo propose to play a game, named truth or dare.

'it'd be fun, what do you think, y/n-chan?'

'i'm in!'

the thought it'd cheerfully and you'll have merrily game didn't last long. it was fun to a certain point in the game.

'truth or dare, kenma-kun?' asked vivaciously kuroo. he has been joining since he came up with

'truth'

'are you in love with someone?'

kenma is speechless, his eyes widened as he heard the question. he gulped, closing his eyes.

'seriously, in love?' kenma responded with a question, crossing arms on the chest, staring at his friend like he told a lewd thing.

'i mean that, give us an answer!'

'yes, i am' you covered your mouth with a hand, gazing at the blond one. the game started and you found out an interesting thing about kozume.

'who are they? do we know them?' you inquired, putting your hand on kenma's shoulder, rubbing it a cheerful way. kinda, you glad that your friend settled down by found a girl with whom he wants to be. although, why is he keeping it aside from you? aren't you friends with him?

'it's the second question, now i'm running. y/n-chan, truth or dare?'

'how rude you're, truth'

'the same question. do you love someone?'

you exhaled, musing about the question. the warm feeling born in your chest when you're with boys. you've never caught yourself at the thought you're in love with them. you love them as friends, maybe something more, but you aren't in love. it must be a wrong feeling.

'i don't know. it's just complicated, i've got feelings for.. for someone, but don't think i'm in love'

'are you hiding some information apart from me?' kuroo indignantly screamed, pointing at you. he moaned lingering, twisted his tongue, not looking at you. 'being in love it's awesome, why you both didn't tell me early, i-i' he interrupted himself, reflecting on the phrase he said.

'kuroo-san, truth or dare?'

'dare'

you're smiling sinisterly, rubbing your hands, guessing over the dare. it would humorously tell him to do something easy, so you're kept thinking about it whilst found acceptable dare.

'do a striptease for us'

it's entertaining to watch as his emotions changing from calm to frowning, in the eyes new emotion - mingled astonishment and stupefaction. knockout dare took him off guard - he didn't expect you would dare an obscene action like a strip.

'you will regret about it, y/n'

those eyes that expressed stupefaction transformed to the lustful and lascivious. there is no fear of unknowing what you'll dare next, there's lust and dissolute.

kuroo took his shirt off, exposing a pumped-up body - he has those fucking six-pack, not like a bodybuilder, but damn, his upper body literally saying: fuck me. he's coming closer to you with small steps, playing with his chest and abs using hands. you didn't notice how fast kuroo he put his knees between your legs, running his fingers on your shoulders to the neck, squeezing your narrow neck, pulling his face in your ear.

'you liked it, y/n, like my strip-' he did a little pause, licking your ear. the goosebumps are running over your body, as long as you're trying to avoid the familiar feeling. you closed your eyes, attempting his body. 'tease'

he moved away from you, back at his previous position, staring at kenma. his mand is hazy of the action kuroo did: was it real or he was guided by the dare. crafty type.

'kenma, truth or dare?' he's acting like it was nothing, like he didn't tease by half-muttering in your ear, which gave you goosebumps, and your breath was taken away. for credibility, he licked your earlobe, isn't it enough?

'since the game is getting hotter, dare, kuroo'

'show us the person you're in love with'

isn't the game hotter than a sun? on that point, is getting closer to that temperature. kenma stood up, staring at his teammate - some line is connecting them, binding them as some rivals for your attention. kenma sat behind you, put hands on your shoulders, breathed out on the back of your neck, make your knees go weak. 'she's sitting in front of you'

goosebumps are running over your body, breath stuck in your throat as kenma touched your shoulder with his warm palm, rubbing your skin gently. you exhaled, as kenma lingering on your neck, raises the chin up, blowing in your left ear, kissing it concurrently.

'and i'm kissing her'

you opened your mouth, not trying to resist, moisten chapped lips erstwhile were humidified due to the lip gloss. not trying to resist, when kuroo put your small hand on his six-pack; your hands are running over lumpy muscles whilst the blond one licking your collarbone. suddenly, you felt his hands under the shirt, denuding your breast to kuroo. you were up to close your legs, but the hand of the guy in front of you didn't allow it.

'you're so concupiscent, y/n. let us do the thing, baby girl. we'll treat you as your queen, your little girl' uttered kuroo, approaching his face on your nipple. 'can i?'

there must an answer, although everything you could do muttering indistinctly, feeling the unknowing sense down there. so marvelous, voluptuous, and vulnerable it is. kuroo barely touched your nipple with the tip as kenma slipped a hand into your shorts. you lay the back on kenma's chest, unconsciously spreading legs apart. outlining yet hard areola, kuroo lick it, biting just lightly the nipple. he has been enjoying it even more than you, receiving from two boys delight.

kenma pull aside your shorts, discovered you aren't wearing the panties. he snorted, rubbing an index finger on your folds. what could be more pleasant than this moment? the captain of a nekoma team is licking your nipples whilst the setter is playing with your pussy. you're lost in his caress: it seems there's no more air, no more feelings besides lust and desire.

kuroo pulls away from you, unzip his pants: a thick dick dropped in front of your face, covered in veins, the head is red from the pressure of your tiny body. the precum appears on the glans as you touched the hot cock, stroking with a hand from the tip 'till your little finger touches the pubis. you smear the drop of his semen with a tongue, lick the head, pull inside the wet mouth.

'you haven't seen something big as my cock, sweetie?' he giggled, thrust more in your warm, little mouth. you're sandwiched between two hot bodies, receiving and giving oral sex. abruptly, kenma make a fist of your hair, nudging your head deeper on kuroo's cock 'till your nose meets with the skin. you chocked, not having time for rest, in addition, kenma's abrupt push makes you gag even more. kenma entering his finger inside your tight pussy, still nudging you.

'get on the bed, baby' kuroo hoisted you up. somehow, you managed to stand on your fours, letting kuroo eating you out, giving kenma your face to fuck. maybe it's their smells, such as aphrodisiac; not paying attention to the pain in your throat due to their fat cocks, you're sucking blond's member whilst kuroo greedily licking out you, preparing for the cock. it seems it has been an eternity since you've been doing it, whereas it doesn't take longer than a quarter of the time.

'don't worry, sweetie, i'll be gentle, just relax'

you're practically been dripping under his face, yet when you felt the gland at the entrance you knew it won't be easy: kuroo won't stop till he goes into you entirely. you're getting lost as many times you came on the captain's tongue, perhaps two or three, nevertheless it hurts when he's attempting to pull his cock in. with a certain slosh kuroo went in your cunt deep, but slow, stopping his movements, giving you a couple of second to get used to the new feeling. new orgasm is building up as soon as kuroo asked you with a husky voice about your well-being.

'are you okay? i could pull it out if you're-'

'move, kuroo. you can'

tremendously soft and big concurrently, but his smug grin appears as he heard your order: it's maddening him to be inside you. gradually, the captain starts to increase the pace, as his balls slapping against your cunt.

kenma is blissful as never: he could only think about the godlike blowjob like this one. your tongue is running from the tip to the balls, gagging by it. tears start to fall down on your cheeks, leaving the wet trace, though you aren't stopping: you're a masochist if you're relishing something like that. you would answer: yes, i am, but your mouth is full by kenma's dick.

'i will cum in your mouth, can i, kitten?'

kenma is breathing heavily, scarcely would last longer, as you feel as his cock is twitching and getting hotter. you switched your mouth on his glans, sucking and stroking the base, helping to reach the high.

'me too, y/n, get ready for mine semen in your mouth too'

so fucking full of sperm you'll be in a few seconds. kuroo pulls his dick out, get out of bed, coming to the edge. using your hands, you're stroking theirs cocks waiting for the cum in your mouth to taste it. both of them came simultaneously, giving you their hot semen. feeling as your cunt twitching from the big dick, swallowing their semen.

how did it turn on? what happened? you didn't know exactly, you're happy that now you're cuddling and smooching your boys, exhausted from your first time. kuroo tenderly kissing the back of your neck, burying his face into your hair, pulling closer by your waist. kenma covers your face with quick but affectional kisses, interlacing your fingers.

you're happy and lucky cuddling with boys with the guys you love. but they love you even more.

'sleep kitten, we will be here when you open your eyes'

'stop talking she's sleeping!'

'don't scream she may wake up'

'and stop being so sweet i love her more than you do'

'no, i-'

you giggled, falling asleep to their quiet muttering of 'who loves you more'

//~~//

:3 i don't know, but i was listening to this playlist it gives some vibes lol. and sorry abt last words, i had a fit of tenderness :)

#kuroo x reader x kenma #kuroo x reader #kenma x reader #haikyuu poly au #haikyuu x reader #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo smut #kenma kozume x reader #kenma kozume smut #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu scenarios #kuroo tetsurou #kenma kozume #kenma kozume scenarios #kuroo oneshot #kenma oneshot

[samanthalightning]

She's Got A Date-EoWells X Allen!reader- Part I

*The GIF is not mine. All rights belongs to the owner*

Summary: You decided to cook for your secret boyfriend, but things did not go accordingly.

Warnings: Smut. Oral (fem!receiving)

***

Just a month ago, your brother woke up from a 9-month coma he was in. Everything has changed since December. The city mourned it's losses. Joe became more heavily into work, Iris is dating behind his back with Eddie. You graduated from school, you became an employee at S.T.A.R Labs despite of it's downfall. And you were also dating someone behind their backs.

5 more minutes before you're done for the day, you find yourself in the cortex, head laid back on the leather chair, spinning it while you stare at the ceiling. The boredom is not what's bothering you, it's the sweet torture of waiting. You've been excited since the day started, you managed to get through the whole day and a few more minutes is killing you.

Cisco entered the room, holding a tablet in his hand. He took a seat beside you and typed something on the computer.

"You okay, Y/N?" He asked.

"Yeah, just can't wait for this day to over,"

His head slowly turning his head to you, craning it to the side with narrowed eyes at you. "Miss Y/N Allen hurrying out of work? That's suspicious. You got a date?"

Your eyes went wide and jolted upright in your seat. "No!" You blurted loudly.

A perplexed look crossed his face, slightly taken a back with your reaction, as he was only teasing, but you actually thought he was onto you.

You blinked, the blood drained from your cheeks upon the realization of what you've done. You have to throw him off guard or else he'd be actually onto you, and all of the ridiculous excuses you've made will be all gone to waste. And he will kill you for actually spilling the beans without his consent.

You fiddled with the edge of the white sweater that Barry got for your graduation that he missed, as you rack your brain for a decent excuse. You stared at him for far too long, it was just seconds really, but you panicked and went along with whatever comes out of your mouth.

"I mean, I don't have a date, I'm not going out tonight or meet someone, or have dinner with anyone— I don't have a date!" You snapped.

"Okay, chill." He raised his hands up. "I was only teasing,"

You laughed nervously. "Cool,"

He turned back to whatever was he doing on the computer, still wholly confused on whatever was going on with you. You didn't say anything; you didn't trust yourself and your mouth. You checked your watch for time, and your shift officially ended. You picked your shoulder bag from the floor and slung it over your shoulder.

"Hey, I gotta go, Cisco. Bye, good night!" You jumped out of your seat, and picked up the messenger bag you have, slinging it over your shoulder.

"Good night." He watched you as hurriedly left the cortex, he can even hear you running down the hallway . He shakes his head and chuckles to himself; you were very obvious.

Just as you left, Dr. Wells wheeled into the cortex.

"Y/N already left, Cisco?" He asked.

Cisco nodded. "Yup. She got a date,"

You decided that you will cook tonight. You and your love haven't had a decent date night ever since Barry woke up from the coma with a newfound speed. And you never really went out for dinner like normal couples do. So if you can't go to a restaurant, you'll bring the restaurant to you.

Compared to Iris' cooking, you're basically a master chef, but compared to normal people's cooking, you weren't actually that good. But you decided that you will cook for dinner anyway. What's a little steak compared to a mechanical engineer who works for a team that kicks meta-humans' butts? If things go awry, pizza's the back-up plan.

With a steak that's overcooked, the potatoes and the salad barely even done, and you have spent an hour trying to make things go accordingly and you were on the verge of a mental breakdown, but on the bright side, the soufflé are done. Maybe you should've ordered pizza. It's not too late, he isn't here yet.

Abruptly, there was a knock coming from your door.

"No, no, no," you whispered, hurrying out of the kitchen to head for the door.

You opened the door, wishing that it wasn't him, only to be disappointed once you laid your eyes on him. He had a small smile on his face, looking at yourself. He did really take the whole dinner thing seriously, because you're cooking. In a fancy suit, he ditched the tie, and the two buttons were undone. He held a bottle of wine on his lap.

Your boyfriend, Dr. Harrison Wells.

"Hello,"

"Hey babe," you leaned down and gave him a peck on the lips, before stepping aside to let him in your small apartment.

You took the wine and placed it on your coffee table, slightly anxious as you stood behind him.

"You're early,"

He merely shrugged. "What's for dinner?" He asked, heading straight to the kitchen, eyeing everything on the counter.

Your face scrunched up, pressing your lips together, following behind him. "About that..." You watched, as his confusion settled on his face, his head tilted to the side, when he saw the food.

Your cheeks were warm in embarrassment, mentally cursing yourself for ruining everything.

"I may have slightly overcooked it. And I haven't cooked the sides," you explained, scratching your head.

You expected a reaction from him, dreaded it, actually, but he glanced up to you with this stoic, blank expression on his face. You can't read it; you don't know what's on his mind, is he disappointed? You have no idea, and it's infuriating, honestly.

Your shoulder slumped with a weary sigh and frowned, "Look, I'm sorry. I really tried, but I don't know what happened," you spoke softly. You still got no reaction from him, he only watched you intently, so you took it as a sign to continue, "I really want this to go perfectly, and it just... I'm sorry I disappointed you,"

That's when he took your hand, his thumb brushing against your knuckles, then planted his lips on it. "Come here." He patted his lap, gesturing you to sit on his lap.

You obliged. He rubbed his hands on your arms soothingly, comforting almost, as if he can sense the disappointment and frustration you feel for yourself.

"I'm not disappointed," he assured you, "I'm amused, actually,"

You whirled your head, facing him. You were surprised by his confession.

You blinked. "What?"

Now, his lips turned up a little bit. And you start to wonder how botching dinner and failing at doing a basic life skill is amusing as this doctor said.

"Well, I appreciated the gesture, even though it did not end well. You didn't have to do this, but thank you,"

You adjusted yourself on his lap, you put your head on his shoulder, you wrapped your arms around his neck. And he kissed your forehead, cradled your neck, coddling you protectively like you were a baby. Well, his baby.

"I really did want to make this special, you know? With all of what's happening— Barry, the metas— and the whole secret relationship is not helping. It's all happening so fast, and we didn't have time for ourselves," you rambled on.

"I know." His chest heaved. "It's okay. You tried,”

Silence seeped through the room. You felt safe and comfortable in his arms. You ran your thoughts, thinking how far you've come in your secret relationship and how intimate he'd become. He wasn't always like this, the kisses were awkward, so was holding hands. He was weird with affection; he wasn't used to it, exactly. You were like high schoolers dating. That built up a lot of tension, which paid off later.

Only 10 months ago, you were just an intern at S.T.A.R Labs. He's just the guy you worked for, he didn't know you existed, hell, you weren't even on his research team for the particle accelerator. Then Barry got struck by lightning and was in a coma, then he offered to help him, bringing him to S.T.A.R Labs. He was nice, he was assuring— he was there.

Although, you admit that you always had a crush on him, you considered it as merely admiring his works. Then something happened, something sparked between you two, and you realize that you're starting to have feelings for the man.

You pursued him. Man, he was hard to crack. He had a bunch of excuses. First, it was the 28 years age gap between you two; then it was his current condition; then ultimately, his new reputation in the city. It was like he's immune to temptation, but even steel can be bent. Two months of pining after him, he gave in. You may have snapped and confronted him and annoyed him in the process, but he gave in.

"Imagine, 6 months of dating and I never cooked for you," you said randomly.

"It was probably for the best," he quipped.

You both shared a laugh. Although you were a bit flushed. You started fiddling with the hem of your sweater again. As much as you want to stop, because you might ruin it, but it just feels nice when it brushes against the skin of your fingers.

"My mom was great in the kitchen," you began. Memories played on your head— memories of family dinners every night. It's a blur, but you remember how it felt; warm, inviting, happy— whole.

"Really?" You nodded.

"If she was here she'd be wondering how on earth am I her daughter." You chuckled.

"If she's here, she would be very proud of how incredible and smart you are,"

"Yeah?"

Wells exhaled. "Not with what you've done with the steak, but—" you didn't let him finish and swat his chest. He laughed a bit, much to your already abashed self.

"No, I meant it. She would have been very proud. It's a shame she never gets to see the woman you become," he said, as he tuck a strands of hair behind your ear.

You rolled your eyes, but you blushed. You admit, it was nice to hear it. If she can see you right now, you really wish she's proud.

He cupped your chin, lifting it to meet your eyes. "I love you," he said it like the first he said it: stern, yet with such emotions and meaning with it, it makes your heart sink. Only him can do that.

"I love you too," you replied, leaning into him.

You kissed him sweetly and tenderly. Even now, kisses from him make your stomach flips.

Moments like this in your relationship is what makes you all warm and fuzzy inside, it makes your heart flutter. He's a man of logic, of course his words and gestures were often minimal. But when he shows them, it's meaningful and beautiful and just sweet.

You pulled away, grinning ear-to-ear like an idiot.

"Do you want me to order some pizza?"

"I think we should skip dinner and head straight for desserts," you saw the smirk on his face, the glint in his eyes: dark and mischievous.

He leaned closer, slowly, inch by inch, as if torturing you, making your breath hitch. His breath fanned against your lips, his own was hair breadth away from you.

You knew exactly what this is leading to, but it wouldn't hurt to mess with him.

You tilted your head slightly, staring at his thin, pink lips, leading him to believe you're going for it, then pulled away, raising your eyebrows.

"The soufflé?" You inquired, pretending to be clueless. "I can get them if you want,"

You got off his lap, not even fully standing when his hands grabbed your waist and yanked you back down, and you let out a squeal in the process. He wrapped his arms around you locking you in. His hand cupped your cheek, before clashing his lips against yours.

Hungrily, he kissed you. You put your hand on his chest, as your lips moved against his, fighting his dominance, he moved his lips searingly, deepening the kiss that sends chills down your spine. His tongue brushes against your bottom lip, and you open up your lips, allowing him entrance. It was the battle of tongue, which you lost, melting into him.

His hands roamed your back, then your waist, the edge of your curves, alighting a spark in your stomach. Your hands flew to his neck, clutching it.

You broke the kiss to catch your breath. Your heavy breath was seemingly dramatic compared to his. He didn't even break a sweat. You giggled, your head felt light and the room was spinning around, heart was racing. Damn. He's such a good kisser.

You shifted, straddling his lap, you put arms around your neck, reeling him back into the heated kiss. Your hips flicked, groans spilled from your lips. His lips moved to the nape of your neck, vigorously sucking on your sweet spot right there. You tried to suppress the moan in your throat, as his lips lowered down, nipping the skin of your collarbone. The last time you screamed, the neighbor slammed on the wall, complaining. Not having that again.

The need for him builds up in the pit of your stomach minute by minute, rocking your hips faster and faster against him, your own wetness growing. He untied the knot of your apron. He took it off your neck, throwing it to the side, before grabbing your face and capturing his lips again, not getting enough of it.

You took his jacket off of him, without breaking your lips, then your dainty fingers started unbuttoning his shirt skillfully. It was clearly unfair, so he started getting rid of your blouse as well. You discarded each other's top, until you were down to your bra, which he unclasped later on.

You gasped, as you felt your breasts were finally freed. The chilly air inside made your nipples harden. He admired your perky breasts, appreciatively, planting a kiss in between, you hummed involuntarily. His lips trailed closer and closer, he swirled his tongue around the nub teasingly and torturously. A hum wouldn't do anymore, you moaned in pleasure. Then suddenly, he ravished your nipples in his mouth, sucking on the nub, like fingers toyed with the other one.

Your fingers ran across the naked chest, to the taut of his shoulder, before delving in the bed of his locks, gripping them tightly, as he continued on, moving to the breast to give the same attention. He pinched it, bit it; he drove you wild with what he's doing with your nipples.

It's like someone started a fire in your bones; you're all hot and bothered.

He stopped kissing them, which made you whine for the loss of attention. He tugged your short, basically saying you needed to take them off, and you did, leaving you with only your panties on you.

His lustful eyes raked your naked body, as you stood before him, breathless. Your heart pounded in your ears, adrenaline rushing through your veins in excitement. You felt the ache between your legs, slowly feeling your panties dampening. God, you really need him.

He ran his hands on hips, trailing hot, open-mouth, wet kisses down your stomach, it made you bite your lip.

"Stunning. Just stunning," he whispered softly against your warm skin.

You blushed lightly at his comment. He liked making you blush. You realized that pattern back when Barry was in a coma. You'd stay and help out, he would just compliment you for whatever you tackled that day.

You let out a gasp, when he gripped your hips, lifting you off the floor, and placed you on top of the kitchen counter. You didn't expect such force from him. His fingers slipped through the bands of your panties, tugging them down antagonizing slowly. Such a tease.

He lowered his head in between your legs, as he spread them opening. His lips curved at the sight of your wetness, he took your leg and put over his shoulder, and began sucking on the soft skin of your leg, trailing up to your inner thigh. You felt his warm breath ghosting your inner thigh, kissing it, as his lips moved up and up to your womanhood, his fingers lightly trailed against it.

"Harry, please," you cried, screwing your eyes shut and bit your lips harshly.

Hearing your plea, he slowly licked a stripe, then closed his mouth over the sensitive bundle of nerves. Your mouth hung open and you arched your back. Pleased with his work, he hummed, sending vibrations through your body.

"Oh, don't stop," you whined.

"Oh darling, I don't intend to," he said huskily, it ran shivers down your spine.

His tongue thrusted in and out of you, swirling around your clit, driving you to sweet ecstasy. You clampled the edge of the counter and mewled loudly, your hips locked up at the sensation.

Abruptly, a ring cut through the moment. Wells stopped, but upon realizing that it wasn't his phone, he carried on. Breathless, you pat the counter behind you, looking for your phone. Once you took a hold of it, you were going to reject it, seeing the caller ID, you turned to Wells.

"It's Cisco," you informed him.

You thought he didn't just hear you, distracted, so you told him again.

"Answer it,"

Your lips parted, "Wha—"

"Answer it," he repeated nonchalantly.

You can't believe that he's risking being caught. For someone who would scold you to keep your hands to yourself when you're out, this is surprising.

Extremely bewildered and aroused, and worried that something might have happened to Barry, you didn't argue and clicked to answer.

"Hey Cisco," you tried to steady your voice, but it wavered at the end, when he sucked your clit with vigor.

"Hey Y/N. You busy?"

Yup.

"Not so much. What's up?" you reply, panting.

Your breath stopped in your throat, you weren't able to register the next sentence Cisco said, when you felt Wells inserted a finger inside of you. His finger went in out of you, before adding another finger in. He scissored his digits inside, pumping in and out, looking for the sweet spot, while his thumb rubbed your clit roughly. If he keeps doing this you're not going to last.

You looked at him, mouth hung open. He gave a smug smirk, and licked your clit.

"Y/N? Can you hear me?" You almost forgot he was there.

Your arm fling to your face. Your teeth dug on your arm, squirming quietly, unable to handle the pleasure.

"Y/N!" Cisco yelled in your ears.

There's something arousing and bothering with this; the idea of getting caught while doing it, it's thrilling. But it's weird and you have embarrassed yourself enough.

"I'll call you back!" You gasped, pressing the button and basically threw your phone behind you.

Your hips quivered, locking him up in between. You felt the orgasm bubbling inside of you. You were so close.

"Harry, I need to—"

"No, not yet," he cut you off, his tone authoritative.

You whimpered in return, in need for release. He patted your thigh, gesturing you get off the counter. You hesitated, for you actually thought you would crumble if you got on your feet.

"Come on." His fingers flicked in gesture.

You know you can't sit on the counter forever; you haven't even cleaned it. You have to get off eventually, and slowly you planted your feet on the hardwood floor. You wobbled for a bit, but you grabbed onto him for support.

Your eyes met his dark ones. His hands reached for his belt, unbuckling it and threw it to the side. His pants and underwear followed suit, pooling at his feet. Your eyes wandered to his hardened member and you watched as he stroked it.

"Turn around," he ordered.

That ran chills through your body. You did what you were told. He guided your hands towards the counter, and placed it there. He held your waist, slowly bringing you down on his lap. Anxious to get him inside of you, you tried to sink down, he held you in place, growling at your impatience. He has a thing for taking time slow and being dominant, which you really didn't mind, but with high nearing, you were eager.

He lined himself up in your entrance, you even felt the tip of his length teasing you.

“Stop teasing,” you half-moaned and groaned.

"Say please,"

"Please, Harrison— I can't take it anymore. I need you," you cried.

“More,” he demanded.

“Please, I need you inside me. Please, babe. Please, I can't take it anymore,”

You felt him slowly entering inside. You let out shaky breath and you heard a raspy grunt from him. He stretched your walls, pain was present. You winced. It has been weeks since you’ve been this intimate, you almost forgot how it felt like.

“You okay?”

You nodded, biting your lips.

“Use your words,”

“Yes,” you panted.

He gave you a few moments to get accustomed to his member, before lifting you up to test the waters, starting a slow and gentle pace. You moaned loudly. It felt so good, he filled you up so good. Damn, you missed this. You clenched your walls, a guttural groan escaped his lips. His hand finds it's way to your breast, fondling with it.

“Harry, faster!”

He started picking up the pace, and finding the rhythm that suited him. He thrusted faster and harder, rocking your hips against his, hitting all the good spots, your toes curled in the process. You clamped the counter, knuckles turning white. You held on for dear life, as he took you from behind.

You couldn't keep the voices down anymore, and you couldn't care less about the neighbors anymore— grunts, moans, screams and pleads filled the room. You were a whimpering mess, crying his name and begging for more.

The overwhelming intensity of the pleasure washes over you. You were close, so, so close. You need to come.

“Harrison, please,” you begged weakly.

“Please what?” His voice is deep and raspy.

“Please, let me come,” you whimpered.

“Then come,”

He thrusted in you deeper. Tears pricking the corner of your eyes, desperate for your high. Then you felt it. Your clit pulses and walls clenched again. Eyes are closed, you arched your back and screamed. You screamed, as you came undone.

You thought he would stop, but he didn't. Instead, he gripped your hips tighter, pretty sure that's going to leave an imprint behind. He slammed your hips down on him, thrusting deeply and roughly.

He took you from behind with, until he met his high he felt his own pleasure washing over him. You felt spurts of warm liquid inside of you. Thank God for your pills or else Joe would kill you. Being an adult doesn't make being pregnant less scarier. Especially if your adoptive father is a cop, and your brother is a superhero.

His pace started getting sloppy and slow. You lean back to him, your back meets the skin of his chest, warm and sticky with sweat. Your bodies glistened with sweat.

Short breaths escaped from your parted lips. He trailed sloppy kisses on your shoulder, wrapped his arms around your waist, still not pulling out of you.

You were so dizzy, exhausted, overwhelmed and just happy. You truly missed being with just him and right now, you couldn't be more content in his arms.

"Round 2?” You challenged, panting with a grin plastered on your face.

He didn't reply, but you saw the corner of his lips tugged up. Next thing you know, the wheelchair was moving, heading to the direction of your bedroom.

Part II

#Harrison Wells #Harry Wells #Eowells #Eobard Thawne #Tom Cavanagh #Harrison Wells x reader #harry wells x reader #eowells x reader #eobard thawne x reader #tom cavanagh x reader #eowells x allen!reader #harrison wells x allen!reader #the flash #Harrison wells fanfiction #harry wells fanfiction #eowells fanfiction #eobard thawne fanfiction #tom cavanagh fanfiction #the flash fanfiction #Harrison wells imagine #harry wells imagine #eowells imagine #eobard thawne imagine #tom cavanagh imagine #the flash imagine #barry allen x reader #cisco ramon x reader #Caitlin snow x reader #Iris West x reader #lightwrites

[ermuellert]

what are your honest opinions on julian draxler's career?

personally i thought he was genuinely going to be a big star because he was this young wonderkid at schalke who won the world cup as a 20 year old (he didn't do much though to be fair) but it never really turned out that way ... he's not done terribly per se, he is playing for psg, living that sweet life en france, and somehow still getting callups to the german national team but i am just kind of sad that he never reached the full potential that he had ... i thought he would be the captain of the "new" germany generation, one of the leaders, but now he barely gets to play ... i am kind of extra worked up about his case because he seems like a nice and sweet person as well ... anyways maybe i just have a bad track record of predicting career trajectories, all the youngsters i thought would succeed haven't (yet), at one point i believed that julian weigl and max meyer would also be world beaters and here we are ... i don't know what it is, probably a mix of injuries, bad luck, and maybe just not working hard enough ... long long sigh

anyways if you read all that you're an absolute superstar because i really went and wrote an essay oops ... i look forward to your live blogging tomorrow as it is always entertaining ... lots of love xxx

i hope u know that deep down.... like. Deep Down... i am always always always craving to talk about julian...... like trust me... i promise essays on monsieur draxler are always welcome here because i used to write that much about him and sometimes still think that much about him too...

objectively speaking, i think he is doing alright! pretty good by a lot of standards probably, for most of the reasons u listed. he’s getting paid obscene amounts (probably more than he deserves at this moment in time), has a seemingly great personal life, and as u said, still getting his national team callups. 

my personal thoughts, on the other hand, are... well....... not really of the same sentiment. i already know i’m gonna write up an even longer essay so let me just tuck the rest of this ramble under a cut for the sake of my followers lmao

honestly for me... thinking about julian is kind of depressing. if you feel worked up about him, just know that i relate. he seems very happy where he is in his life at the moment and so of course i’m happy for him too but compared to the potential it seemed he had... it’s just a bit sad. mostly because it isn’t as though he’s an excellent player hindered by injuries (e.g. reus) or anything really beyond his control - i think a lot of what’s so disappointing about his career trajectory is really just to do with him and him only.

yes, his failed transfer to juve back when he was at schalke wasn’t his fault but to move to wolfsburg? i know hindsight is 20/20 but i almost wish he’d just stayed at schalke. the drama he got into while he was at wolfsburg really did not do any good for his image, putting aside the fact that he was putting in average (even inconsistent) performances for the team. at schalke, maybe he could’ve had more time to develop within a team he grew up in and just use his time there to work and work hard. (there’s something i want to say about mentality here but i’ll bring that up later)

then, when his transfer to psg was announced, i felt like that was some beacon of hope although honestly, i think anything compared to wolfsburg could’ve looked that way to me at the time lmao keeping up with that club just for him (and partly andré schürrle) was fucking painful my god

at psg he was off to a decent start and things were starting to look up! wasn’t starting every single match but he was playing fairly well and made quick friends with his new teammates (u know who lol) etc. but then of course any sort of rhythm/momentum he gained was totally thrown off by mbappé’s and neymar’s arrivals which i think were both only around half a year after his transfer. 

and so basically since then, he’s been “competing” for a spot with ney, kylian, and di maría.

(ok reading that back i realize that whole recap of his career was not really necessary or at least. making it as lengthy as i did wasn’t but. i’m too lazy to go back and reword everything so bear with me lmao)

taking all that into account, i think yes, to some extent, he has some excuse for the stagnation of his career. he’s had his injuries and he’s been played out of position for large portions of time.

but i think what really frustrates me about him is that as a fan who’s loved him for years it’s really sad to see that what’s holding him back is not necessarily a lack of ability but just that he doesn’t have the sort of drive i wish he did. it’s been on display in his performances before - he can be lazy and invisible - but i think what’s worse is how that translates off the pitch. he’s just never really seemed to fight for a spot in the starting eleven. and if the rumors are true (as they do seem so) the parisian nightlife has not been doing him very good lmao

not only that though but i think he just doesn’t care as much about football as he does about ... image? money? i don’t know. i don’t know what the word i’m looking for is. i don’t think julian is a superficial sort of person and i’m not saying ambition is a bad thing at all, but when he couldn’t go from schalke to juventus (and that failed transfer was riding, presumably, a lot on his wonderboy status at schalke), he followed the money to wolfsburg. put in performances that understandably received criticism at wolfsburg, then very publicly made a whole thing out of wanting to leave and not being able to. then followed the money to psg where he just ... vibes on the bench. well, at least up until this season. but even then, if it weren’t for all the covid cases and red cards, i don’t know if he would be playing as much as he has. 

so tl;dr: i love julian a lot still and he’s still the same sweet dorky fuckboi-ish guy i’ve been a fan of since the start and i’m happy that he’s happy! the tragic irony is that what makes him happy - collecting checks while being a bench player - is also what depresses me quite a bit about him. he has his flashes of brilliance every once in a while where you can see that 17-year-old schalke wonderboy in him, so you know that hype from long ago wasn’t all a waste and that somewhere in there is a very talented, perhaps starworthy footballer. but he isn’t. not because he can’t but because he doesn’t really care to. and not in a dismissive sense i don’t think. i don’t think he thinks “ah who cares about being the best player in the world fuck that” but moreso in the sense of “ah i think i’m doing alright! that’s good enough for me.” and that sort of mentality is what places him (or at least, contributes to his position being) a tier below his peers who have proven themselves (e.g. kimmich, although that also brings up the whole “can that sort of fighter/die-on-the-pitch type mentality be taught or must it be inherent” kind of thing so let’s move on before i write an essay within this essay) at the end of the day i know not every footballer is in this sport simply for the sake of playing it, but from time to time thinking about him fills me with a lot of nostalgia and yes a tinge of disappointment because i can’t help but think of what could’ve been (i.e. what would’ve happened if he’d stayed at schalke? stayed there for good or stayed for a season or two more, developed even more hype, strengthened his abilities. had a successful transfer to a good, solid club and continued to hone his abilities, etc).

ok. now i’m done. i’m so sorry for putting u through all that and skimming this back i sound SO dramatic lmao but man i’ve been through like six-ish years of following his career so fuck it oh well

also if u wanna know how much i still care, know that after the “draxler to leeds united” rumors first dropped, i wrestled with my impulse control every single day for a week trying to stop myself from dming him on insta saying “i love you but get ur ass to leeds or i will kidnap u and get u there myself your football career is killing me but i love you and just want the best for u have a nice day xx”

#answered #thank u for this ask you're really sweet anon omg 😭 #again i am surprised anybody cares about my opinions enough to ask me this... or to even talk about my liveblogging lmao... #even if it's just one anon i'm like !!!!!!! #anyway. i actually have more and more thoughts about julian but i literally wrote SEVERAL paragraphs and that man has disrespected me for t #so i'm not giving him any more of my time and energy tonight #although yes my brain is replaying his match against slovakia in the euros #and his goals against gent in the ucl back when he was with wolfsburg #and how he was the captain for the nt in the confederations cup which we won!!! #but ANYWAY #as for weigl and meyer... :( #haven't kept up much with weigl but sad about him too #as for max..... i was hopeful for him too #but i think he just got too big for his britches #which is again. another disappointing thing because look where he's at now #i just wish players understood the importance and the benefits of BEING PATIENT... #i think they just sort of give in to the hype about themselves #which is understandable but god i swear its a poison to careers #julian draxler #babe jules #anonymous #shit ava says

[books--andt]

Zenith (The Androma Saga) by Sasha Alsberg and Lindsay Cummings

Hey everyone! It's been a hot minute since I've last written to you guys. I haven't read a whole lot, only 3 books so far this year, but I'm ok with that. I read for pleasure, and for myself after all!

So Zenith... If you don't know what this book is about, here's a brief synopsis... It follows our main character, Androma or Andi as she's usually called by her team of marauders. Andi and her team get caught up in a quest to save the general's son, but along the way, past relationships resurface, and a war that they didn't want to get caught up in threatens to swallow them whole.

**This review may contain some very small details of the book, which could be viewed as spoilers if you haven't yet read it**

Now... to be honest I had very (and I mean very) low expectations going into this book. If you've been with me for a while, you'll know I read one of Lindsay's books called The Murder Complex and I haaaaaaated it. I am also not the biggest fan of Sci-fi, but I'll touch on that later. Furthermore, I wasn't sure how the writing and story telling, this being Sasha's first book, would turn out combined with the bad experience I had with Lindsay's previous book. However, I'm happy to say that my expectations were exceeded!!!! I enjoyed this book a lot more than I thought I would. I wanted to know what was going to happen, and I did not see the plot twist coming.

However I do have some problems with this book. Firstly, the characters. Androma is a cut and paste version of Celaena Sardothien. This makes me really sad because I love Celaena! To me, she's the perfect amount bad ass and sensitive. She's a well rounded character. She has flaws. Andi on the other hand, is a bit... How shall I put it... One dimensional? She has this whole "I'm a fierce af warrior, I'm the Bloody Baroness and I will kill and destroy you. I want to see you die!!!" but then on the other hand she has that fake sensitive side, where she mourns the losses of those she's killed and views herself a monster. This is just kind of confusing I guess.

And Dex... he was just too cliche for me. It seemed Sasha and Lindsay were trying too hard to make him that "handsome and strong, misunderstood-hiding-secrets-lover-boy" type of character. When he and Androma had their moment halfway through the book, when they basically mutually say that they've had their time but they can no longer share a life together, I was like whaaa? Andi has found out the truth that he was keeping from her, and they obviously have some sort of feelings for each other, yet they don't want to give it a second chance?

My least favourite character was actually Gilly. Sorry, but I don't think a 12 year old cutesy-on-the-outside, but hungry-for-death-and-murder on the inside, is realistic whatsoever. I don't read many books with younger siblings or characters in them, so when I do I'm very picky. I hate when they are represented as annoying. And to me, that's how Gilly was.

One of my favourite characters was actually the AI, Alfie. I found myself lolling when he and Memory were having their little flirty moments. I hope we see more of him in the sequel, although I am a bit confused as to why he was destroyed? Like, Valen has altered DNA? So his mind controlling ability, or whatever, isn't natural then? Or was the altered DNA the Zenith thing that Nor created? So Is Valen actually not evil, and is just being controlled by Nor???? Someone explain.

I liked reading from so many different POV's. It made the pacing of the book quite fast and you got to know these 6 (there were 6 POV's) characters better. I actually liked reading into Nor and Klaren, because you didn't fully know what was going on until the end of the book. So I thought that was well done. I didn't have a favourite POV to read from. They were all pretty neutral for me.

I thought that the writing was good. I couldn't tell when it was Sasha or Lindsay writing, which was actually something I was looking for all while reading. I feel like co-authoring brings about many new challenges; what if you don't like how the other author wrote or changed something but they love it? It's great that their words and ideas flowed.

I do think however that there were some repetitive writing styles, specifically these poetic descriptions. They weren't bad in my opinion. It's just nice to see some variety.

Overall I thought this book was really heavy on cliche YA tropes. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm trash for certain tropes, but they have to be done well. Does that makes sense?

I was reading some reviews of Zenith on GoodReads and my god!!! People were being so harsh!! I understand that this book isn't amazing, but sheesh people! I read one person say they think Sasha should finish College before writing another book. Like how rude???? To any young aspiring author out there- YOU do NOT have to put your writing on hold until after you finish your education. Writers write. That's how they practise. Of course, you will learn and get better with an education, but it's not like thats your golden ticket to start writing a book.

For the most part, other reviewers agreed that Androma tried too hard to be like Celaena, but other critiques were that she was boring and one dimensional. Some said the first half of this book seemed more edited than the second half, and after pondering this I can say that I agree. However there was a lot more action in the second half, so not as much room for the fluffy poetic descriptions.

Another critique was that the book itself didn't need to be as long as it was. I definitely think there were some parts that shouldn't have been included. There were like 50 pages left when Andi and her gang went to that Ucatoria ball and I just felt like it was an odd time to be having a ball, and introducing new characters, so late into the book, and nothing was even resolved! I guess, that created the climax, and the last few chapters of the book were super short and easy to fly through. One part that, in my opinion, should have definitely been edited out, was when Andi is reunited with her mother. Firstly, her father had previously said she was ill or something, so that was confusing. Secondly, it seems that it was just put in place to show how bad of a relationship her and Andi had together. That could have easily been done with some sort of flash-back chapter. In fact, the whole family dynamic seemed really strange to me. When Andi is first reunited with her father, she has these mixed emotions, about wanting to be strong in front of him, and also wanting to crumble and be held by him. When she meets with her mother, she is so infuriated that she threatens to skin both her mother and father alive, and hang their skin like a flag from her spaceship. I mean!!! What!!!!!

Something else I need to touch on is the fact that so many people were offended that Sasha was handed this opportunity "on a silver platter". Sasha makes youtube videos in the booktube community, so obviously, she has a following and can easily get her voice out there. I have to admit, when I heard they were # 1 New York Times Bestselling Authors, I rolled my eyes. If every one of Sasha's subscribers bought her book, then of course she'd become a bestselling author! But I'm not upset about this. Sasha loves books! Her youtube channel (Abookutopia) is dedicated to that. To me, I have so much more respect for someone who's written a book from the youtube world, if they actually genuinely enjoy reading and writing. I would much rather read a book from a youtuber who makes videos around bookish topics, rather than some beauty guru or daily vlogger. So there. Get over the fact that her following probably had a big hand in getting her and Lindsay that title.

Writing is a process. And it takes time to find your voice. I think this book read too much like a knock-off Throne of Glass book. I'm kind of confused with myself because in a way, I think that's why I liked it?? LOL. I'm not a sci-fi person, but this book didn't really read like a sci-fi book. It was totally more fantasy just set in space.

I think that's all I can say for now.

3.5-4/5 Stars.

If you are getting into Fantasy/Sci-fi (that isn't super heavy on the Sci-fi lol) then I'd really recommend you read this! If you have read tons of YA fantasy and are looking for something different, well, this may not be the book for you.

Thanks so much for reading! What are your thoughts on Zenith???

- T

#books #bookstagram #bookshelf #bookworm #book review #book blog #book blogger #book blogging #booksandt #books and coffee #books and libraries #books and things #books and reading #Books and Literature #books and tea #read #currently reading #am reading #zenith #sasha alsberg #lindsay cummings #the androma saga #booktube #tbr #TBR pile #February Favorites #February Reads #march tbr #love reading #ya

[dino0316]

EXCLUSIVE:

Eden Hazard: "I want to show that I am made for Real"

(Words: Jürgen Geril / Photo: Kris Van Exel)

Fasten your seat belts. This is your captain speaking. The Red Devils kick off their European Championship in Russia tonight and then it is Eden Hazard (30). Not quite fit yet, but soon the captain who can lead us to the European title. Despite a season full of injuries, Hazard allowed us an exclusive interview in which he got quite personal. "My sons are very sorry if I can't play with them in the garden due to injuries."

Eden Hazard

The injections I got in both hips work, but I will never be 100 percent in that first match

You don't just arrange an interview with Eden Hazard. At Real Madrid he continuously held off the boat. Because Real is a world team that does not hand out its stars on a tray, but also because Hazard was injured more than fit and received a lot of criticism. Then you are not always in the mood to talk. At the Red Devils, the captain excelled in his absence for 17 months.

But a conversation is possible during this European Championship preparation. That is, if we can present a negative Covid test. So, one day after we let such a Swiffer stick tickle our eyeball, we sit down at Hazard's table. Eden slumps sprawled under a parasol. “During such preparation, I do have some free hours,” he says. “Okay, sometimes I play cards with teammates, but Mertens and co. don't always like it when I join. (grins) I'm not very good at it and then I cheat to tease the others. Creating atmosphere, huh. Fire your questions.”

Eden, there's been so much speculation about your thigh injury. You indicated that you will never be one hundred percent fit for the opening match. What about now? Can you play against Russia?

“The desire to appear at the kick-off is, of course, there. I can play a good match without training a lot, but – honestly – I don't want to start just to start. The good feeling in my legs will return and the injections I received in both hips work, but I will never be 100 percent in that first match. Even if I just come in, don't expect me to make the difference against Russia right away."

You played only 9 minutes against Croatia. Don't you need net matches to grow into your best form?

“I get better when I can play one, two, three matches in a row. Then the ball feeling returns and the rhythm returns, but I don't want to force it either. If I have to be more patient, so be it. Fortunately, I am not the only one in Belgium who can decide a match. We have so many good players who can score.”

What I wonder: is there no mutual competition among the Devils who is now the greatest world champion? You, De Bruyne, Lukaku,...?

“We don't participate in such games. The ranking is clear, isn't it? When it comes to passing, Kevin is the best, no one can finish better than Romelu, Doku is the sprint bomber and Thibaut Courtois is the best with his hands. Everyone has their specialty and that's what makes us so good. Where am I? I'm hanging in there. I'm good at everything, but I'm not the best at anything. I am a good mix.” (grins)

You say you don't want to force against Russia. Did you do that at Real Madrid? For example, you played in the Champions League against Mönchengladbach after two group training sessions.

(hesitating) “With all those injuries I forced once, yes. I had already been out twice and felt pain again during training. I thought to myself: This is no longer possible. If I now indicate that I am in pain, I have to stop for another two weeks . So I was silent and continued. At Chelsea I often played football with discomfort. Stiffness, a kick I got,... Once warmed up, it went well and in seven years that never led to major injuries in England. Unfortunately, at Real it was the other way around. The next day: Bam, more pain. ”

It all started with that kick by Meunier in the Champions League in 2019. Then you started having problems with that plate in your ankle and since then you have had one muscle injury after another.

“Ah, I played with that picture for two years at Chelsea without hindrance. It's just hard to understand. I do everything I can to not get injured, work hard in the gym – which is really boring – and then a new injury often followed. Bad luck. Hopefully that period is behind me now, because I've had it with it."

Belgium knows you as a cheerful French, but your eyes are dimmed.

“I'm still the same, you know. I still have fun, but I can't say I'm happy. That's only me when I can have fun on the field. That has not happened in the past two years at Real. If you have one or two injuries, you can easily turn the switch. You rehabilitate to come back stronger. If it's five, six, seven injuries, it's much more difficult mentally. But I continue. It's not that I'm 36 years old and can say enough is enough. I also get a lot of support during such periods. The whatsapp group with my parents and my brothers Thorgan, Kylian and Ethan does not stand still. My wife and children are also there. Although my sons find it especially bad because I can play football with them less in the garden.”

Are your four sons – Yanis, Leo, Samy and Santi – addicted to playing soccer with their daddy?

“We often play football. Then they try to play a ball through my legs and if they succeed, that's great. That's football. But for now I gate them more often than they gate me. My kids are starting to get it, because now they are constantly defending with their legs closed. They're not bad, but it's too early to tell if they have the talent of the Hazards."

Do they play with the youth of Real Madrid?

“No, Yanis and Leo play together in a team close to our house, Samy just started training there and the youngest is still too small. They should play football for fun. If I can, I'll look, but then I'm not constantly giving directions. That's the coach's job."

We don't really see a trainer in you later on. Not at a professional level, anyway.

“Never say never, but for now I share your opinion. I would be a bad coach. One that says: Grab a ball and do something fun with it . I don't like tactics. If we have an hour of video analysis, as a professional football player, of course I pay attention. You can always learn something, but it's not my favorite activity. I also watch less and less football on TV. Not to the Belgian league anyway, unless my brother Kylian participates at Cercle. In Germany I follow Thorgan at Dortmund, but for the rest? I am more concerned with my family.”

Do your children empathize with you?

“They are fans of Real, but they don't follow every match. During this European Championship they will support the TV with Belgian shirts. It's double. The more we win, the longer they have to miss their daddy, but okay: the boys hope that Belgium becomes European champion and above all that I am fit and healthy on the field."

What do you think of the statement that your injuries are due to stress? At Real you span your muscles through the nerves.

“ N'importe quoi . bland. Of course there is pressure. Real Madrid is the biggest club of all. When you play football there, people expect you to be the best in the world. But why should I be stressed? It's my dream club from when I was little. I looked at Zidane with admiration at Real...”

You are the record purchase of 120 million. Some argue that Chelsea got even more.

“I don't know how much it was myself. Hundred million or more? I am not concerned with money. I only think about the field.”

You also had to succeed Cristiano Ronaldo at Real.

"That is something else. I am not Cristiano Ronaldo. Ronaldo scores 60 to 70 goals in a year, I score 60 to 70 goals in seven or eight years. We are different. For example, I will never jump that high above a defender to head in a ball. Imagine. But I did not enter Madrid with the idea: I have to be the new Ronaldo here . I just have to be Eden Hazard.”

According to our analyst René Vandereycken, they are still not playing you well at Real. They should – according to him – also give you the ball if there are two men in your back.

“It makes sense that they don't, because I haven't shown anything at Real yet. If we play a match tomorrow and I dribble from between three players, they're going to play me more like that. Then confidence grows. That's how it was at Chelsea, that's how it is at the Red Devils. The European Championship can also help me show myself to Real Madrid.”

So are you one hundred percent sure you'll stay?

“Yeah, it didn't even occur to me for a second that I better leave. I'm not going to leave there a failure. I just want to prove that I am made for Real Madrid. The past two years have been difficult. I was in Madrid without actually being in Madrid, you know? And if I did play, it was difficult because of Covid. We played in that small stadium on the practice complex without fans, while I just signed to play football for a full Bernabeu. I hope that the works on our stadium will be finished soon and that the stands will fill up again. I need that.

Real remains another universe. A kilo too much or a bad match and you will be killed. The press and the fans are on your skin. Bale once said: 'When I come out, I immediately have fifty fans behind me.'

“Criticism is part of Real, just like the attention of the fans is part of it. Okay, luckily I live in a closed neighborhood where you don't just drive in. If the supporters could ring my door, it wouldn't be possible. (laughs) But I don't mind signing autographs elsewhere. I try to live a normal life.”

Fans and press were outraged when you laughed and joked with Chelsea players Mendy and Zouma after the elimination in the semi-finals of the Champions League.

“That was wrong, yes. What Mendy and Zouma said wasn't even funny, but I've played with Zouma and I know Mendy through the door. It's always nice to see friends again. Although I understand that I have damaged the image of Real Madrid. Everyone thought I didn't lose sleep over that shutdown, but nothing could be further from the truth. Deep down I was very disappointed. If there was one match I wanted to win, it was against my ex-club Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. I was shocked when I saw those images.”

How did your teammates react?

“I got some phone calls, but honestly: it's a very nice group of players. That is also one of the reasons I absolutely want to stay: the good atmosphere. You know, when I first stepped into Real's dressing room, I was impressed. That was my favorite all-star club, but guys like Sergio Ramos or Karim Benzema are just regular guys. The Spaniards sometimes take the whole group to quiet restaurants.”

Hold on... Eden Hazard was impressed?

“Yes, but I'm fast, you know. When a new talent arrives at the Red Devils, I quickly think: Wow, he can teach us something . Jérémy Doku, for example. What he shows in training speaks for itself. His dribbling, his acceleration.”

Do you recognize yourself in Doku?

“It is a dear guest. He's even faster and more explosive than the young Eden. Jérémy integrates well, but that is not difficult with these Devils. We grow older in age, but our minds remain young. I am still eighteen years old in that regard. I'm not saying that the previous generation of Devils was surly and unkind, but this core is more open to youngsters."

Have you asked Dries Mertens what it is like to work with Carlo Ancelotti? He will be the new coach of Real Madrid.

“Ancelotti has already messaged me. He told me that he is very happy to be coach of Real Madrid again, but that we will have time to talk at length later. He wished me luck at the European Championship. I didn't have to ask Mertens how Carlo Ancelotti is, because at Real there are still many players – Benzema, Modric, Kroos,...– who remember him from his previous visit in Madrid. They all say that Ancelotti is fantastic. A good person who knows how to play and lead a group. Last season Real won nothing, next season we want to take revenge.”

With Zinedine Zidane, your great patron left Real Madrid.

“I called him. It hurt me to see him leave. We had two years where we could show beautiful things and it failed. That is a disappointment to both him and me. Everyone knows the relationship I had with Zidane. He used to be my idol. Because of him I started to watch football with admiration. That goal he scored in the Champions League final against Bayer Leverkusen... Everyone knows that volley. Well, hopefully one day I will score such a beautiful goal. I must try that. Maybe at the European Championships.” (laughs)

Another great idol will return to the Red Devils: Thierry Henry.

“That's great. Better to have Titi with us than to have him elsewhere. A former player like Henry means an added value. He has experience in tournaments, won the World Cup and the European Championship. There are few ex-football players who have such an appearance.”

In what area does he help you the most?

“Actually, he doesn't talk much. Henry radiates calm, romps around the terrain and occasionally gives tips: Why don't you walk like that? There is the free space... He has a special aura. It is good for us that such an icon is now back in our staff. Moreover, it frightens the opponents. If we had to play against a team with Zidane as coach tomorrow, we immediately think: oh la la .”

Are we the favorites to win the European Championship?

“No, Belgium is a team that can win the European Championship, but the big favorite is France. They are world champions and still have the same team, supplemented by some new strong players such as Benzema. They are the team to beat. We are an outsider.”

Final question. You never played in Belgium. Will we ever see you play football in Belgium like Kompany did at a later age?

“All due respect to Kompany. He took Belgian football to a higher level, but I don't see myself playing in the Belgian league. I have been living abroad with my family for years: seven years in London and hopefully five years in Madrid. Returning with the whole family seems complicated to me. After my career I may live in a remote place. Laid back. But believe me: I still have five or six great football years ahead of me.”

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