#am i aromantic if -

[captainjackscoat]

I want to go to a gay bar

However I do not want to go to a gay bar because I do not, nor will I ever, drink alcohol. I do not particularly want to be around drunks.

So instead of a gay bar, I propose a Queer Cat Cafe.

Non allergenic cats ofc

There's a section of the cafe where the cats can't go if you don't want cats near you. That section is the library.

There are lil pride flags everywhere, even the obscure ones.

They sell pride pins for £1.50ish each at the counter.

There are LED lights.

It's autism friendly, lights can be toned down if needed and everything is neatly spaced out

You can have a sticker to write your pronouns on

Mostly queer artists/songs played

feel free to add on

#lgbtqia #queer #gay #lesbian #bisexual #transgender #nonbinary #agender #genderqueer #genderfluid #pansexual #aromantic #asexual #polysexual #omnisexual #demisexual #demiromantic #biromantic #panromantic #skoliosexual #here queer and filled with fear #cats #cat cafe #I like cats #I like cafes #I like queers #I am queer #I am unfortunately not a cat #or a cafe

[almostshamelesspenguin]

Character: I think boys are pretty

Fandom: oh! They're gay! That's canon!

Different character: I have no interest in romance or sex. I don't understand it. Relationships confuse me. They seem pointless to me. I have no desire to be in a romantic or sexual relationship. I am an aromantic asexual.

Fandom: well, I guess you can interpret them as aroace...I don't see it though.

#has. has anyone else seen this or am i complaining about a virtually nonexistent issue #this is about a particular fandom that im not going to mention tho #not saying theres anything wrong with the first one either #but. cmon #bitches will give any excuse before having a character they can romantically ship #not every character needs shipping. not every character needs a realtionship #shut up for the love of god #aroace #aromantic #asexual #aroace erasure #aromantic erasure #asexual erasure #aroace rant

[strangepersonhere]

Being aroace is so cool, but so, so hard sometimes. Watching all the persons you hold dear finding *their* person. Grieving the idea of an allo relationship. Realizing that, maybe, somehow, you're the second choice fo everyone. Because friends are great, but **lovers** are the goal in our society.

Most of the time, i am sooo happy to be aroace. And then, when im alone in bed, at 3 am, i find myself crying by fear of being alone.

And I think it's normal. It's grieving a certain way of thinking. And it's hard, especially when you were raised this way, and that everyone keeps doubting your identity.

So yeah. Shout-out to all the aroace people, wanting a deeper connection, without wanting romantic love.

I love y'all

#asexuality #aromantic #aroace #asexual #let me just be sad #also im doing what i can. #im having a moment #nah but seriously #what a fucked up society #also why i am crying while watching mama mia ?

[growing-past-me]

Okay Alastor being aro just makes radioapple infinitely more funny to me. Evil and fucked up QPR. Enemies to lovers with none of the romance or sexual tension. Just two guys who hate each other so much they have no choice but to spend the rest of their lives together.

#radioapple #Alastor #Lucifer Morningstar #hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #lucifer hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #qpr #aromantic #asexual #aroace #I AM IN A QPR NO ONE LOOK AT ME. #Flynn speaks

[ale-arro]

been going a little bit insane about this sentence from Ace by Angela Chen for the past week

#replace this with any other type of significant relationship too #also! this book actually rules btw i really recommend it #i didnt read it when it first cane out bc i was like. well i am already pretty familiar with asexuality and not rly interested in 101 stuff #but it turns out it doesnt feel 101-y at all its a super awesome piece of queer theory and also chen has Good opinions #and not weird watered down ones that i am sometimes wary of in aspec communities (frankly especially ace ones) #i think maybe if more people approached asexuality the way chen does (including and maybe even especially ace people) #i would be more inclined to still ID as ace #but anyways! #aro #aromantic #<- tag selections that reflect how i personally engage with this quote #also #described in alt text #also also #j tag #:/ #aro media

[charlieswebb]

the greeks believed that our souls were split in half so we have to find our missing pieces. but i feel full. my soul is complete. aromanticism allows the soul to stay together

#we need more representation of aros loving the fact that they’re aro #bc bro i am so happy and sometimes feel a bit too superior bc of the fact i don’t need a partner #aro #queer #aromantic #ace

[love-too]

Just heard the sentence "non practicing bisexuals" for aroace people and I'm losing it

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #asexuality #roba mia #love #words #am i aromantic? #am i asexual #like

[shmaroace]

don't get me wrong, i love all the positivity around being aro, like "be proud of being aro!! love who you are!!", but we never talk about how hard it is to reach that spot. so here's to the aros who are still trying to understand themselves, who aren't proud of who they are yet, who are still coming to terms with their new identity.

#i was in serious denial about being aro for a long time like i knew the label and knew it fit but i refused to use it for several months #even after that point it took a while for me to be comfortable with the label or saying it #and this is not a bad thing!! being aro basically requires you to undo all the societal brainwashing you grew up with #and there is so much arophobia that it's hard to find positivity #i got lucky w/ this blog and the people i follow but i know i had a hard time being as proud of myself and my queerness as i am now #this doesn't even really have to be an aro statement like i think it could fit most queer experiences #sorry for the long tags haha #aro #aromantic #arospec #aromanticism #aro pride #aro positivity #aroace #aspec #1k #5k #6k #7k

[silvermoon424]

I'm so fucking sick of amatonormativity dude. Someone on Reddit left a comment that was basically like "the majority of people need a romantic relationship to be happy, it's how we're wired" and I responded saying that I disagreed and that more and more people (especially women) are finding fulfillment in other relationships and are happy being single.

I got heavily downvoted.

Of course most people like being in a committed relationship, but you don't have to be aromantic or asexual to enjoy being single. Maybe more people would like being single if we as a culture stopped pushing the narrative (especially on women) that being single is lonely, horrible, and depressing and that you need a romantic partner to be a complete person.

#amatonormativity is so insidious and prevalent and most people don't even realize they've fallen for the propaganda #like of course having a life partner is very important to a lot of people #but can we PLEASE stop acting like almost everyone is 'wired' for a monogamous romantic/sexual relationship #and people always fall back on 'well humans are social creatures we need to have relationships' #bitch I have my friends and family and colleagues what relationships am I lacking #amatonormativity #aromantic #aromantism #arospec #aspec #asexual #aroace #aphobia #1k

[1mnobodywhoareyou]

one of my favourite things about being aroace is going to my allo friends and asking them questions about how they experience attraction that break their brains

#honestly what am i even here for if not to challenge peoples' belief systems and how they think about things? #aroace #asexual #aromantic #aspec

[fellas-is-it]

got tired of all depressing and hating yourself for being aro vibes on legit any other platform besides tumblr (looking at you tictac app) so wanted to listen to positive aromantic playlists and legit could NOT FIND ANY??????

And the ones that were vaguely positive were made for aroace ppl. Which is great! But im not ace!!! So WHERE'S MY POSITIVE AROALLO REP?!?!?!

Anyways i solved this hyperspecific problem myself and made a POSITIVE AROALLO playlist:

Larger image of the playlist cover i made

#plz i am starved #if anyone has a positive aro playlist SHARE WITH THE CLASS #no hate towards us bonding over our share anger/grief at the world its important and we SHOULD talk about it #but not ALL THE TIME???? #it SHOULDNT be THIS HARD to find good vibe songs for us #ive BEEN thru the hating being aromatic stage I GET IT #but jesus christ we can LIGHTEN UP A LITTLE?? #aro #aromantic #aro problems #aro culture is #aroallo #aromantism #aromatic positivity #aro pride #aro posting #aroallo pride #lgbtq #arospec #aspec #aro discourse #pride #alloaro

[knifearo]

#mutuals i am asking so nicely #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #aroace #aro positivity

[boombox-fuckboy]

"Oh but without sex or romance the characters are just boring" without even getting into the array of existing wonders outside of interpersonal relationships, the modes of affection I have seen real aspecs invent for eachother would humble you.

#excuse me I am seething #Aspec erasure is a significant personal gripe of mine. #And I am prepared to physically fight someone #aromantic #asexual

[nikothebookdragon]

hey btw. being platonically in love is so real btw. having a silly text convo with your friend and thinking "I love you" with every message. studying together in silence and feeling the most comfortable you've been in years. having a huge cheesy grin on your face after you spend time together, or even just text for a bit. your worries becoming a little easier to bear when they hug you. worrying about them, wishing you could magically give them all the happiness in the world.

being platonically in love is one of my favourite feelings in the world, and you know what? I'm so grateful that being aspec let me experience this in full. I fucking love being on the aromantic spectrum <3

#i just. man. i love my friends so much its almost overwhelming sometimes #platonic love is amazing; being platonically *in* love? a whole new level #not a romantic feeling in sight and i am SO happy about that. genuinely. #being queer is a beautiful thing :) #aromantic #aro #aspec #arospec #platonic love

[papier-ciseaux]

IT IS ACE WEEK!

So let's talk about asexuality! This is an introduction trying to cover as much as possible in a little format, so its mostly surface level stuff. You're gonna have to dig on your own :P

For more information, I recommend checking out aceweek.org or acesandaros.org ! You can also read up on ace history through the Asexual Manifesto by Lisa Orlando !

Edit: Here are some links for more information:

Aceweek

AcesAndAros

An article about the Asexual Manifesto that links you to a transcript

An article about Asexuality's history

#ace #ace week #asexual #asexuality #actually asexual #aspec #acespec #asexual spectrum #aromantic asexual #ace pride #split attraction model #autism #asexuality 101 #sex ed #i guess? #LBArt #i finally did something for ace week #i am so proud of myself #pap pap

[pikp0kcas3]

The Hazbin Hotel fandom’s issue with accepting aromanticism and asexuality

Now that it is officially Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, I want to talk about this!

I find that, as an aroace myself, I am constantly grasping at good representation and coming up empty— it usually ends up in one of two ways.

One: the character is portrayed as emotionless, cold, and robotic in nature. It’s the question aromantic and/or asexual people are often asked: “Are you heartless?” The answer is no, of course, but general media makes it out to be the opposite.

Or two: Their lack of attraction is seen as something to “fix” because they “haven’t found the right one yet”, and they end up with a partner as a “happy ending”.

It frustrates me greatly because of how little people actually see aromanticism or asexuality as a true part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

So when I watched Hazbin Hotel, and I found out about Alastor being aroace, I was over the moon. I was on cloud nine. I also saw how his voice actor has looked up the term as an attempt to learn about aroaces, which makes me OVERJOYED?? Amir is truly a blessing, and I love that he’s proud to embody a character that’s part of our community. It’s so beautiful to finally have a proper character, a fan favorite at that, who just so happens to be aroace— and that’s another thing I love about this.

It’s never explicitly stated in the show (though it is stated in interviews), but it’s rather clear when you’re watching, isn’t it? Alastor’s aversion to any sort of sexual advancement, coupled with Rosie’s blatant “I know you’re an ace in the hole” comment sort of spell out his asexuality pretty clearly, as well as what side of the spectrum he falls upon. In addition, his Valentine’s day card was strictly platonic, which caters to his aromantic side. It feels so validating to finally be represented, to finally have a character in media who shares the same lack of interest in romance and sex as I do.

When I entered the fandom to look for more content, I kind of expected to see the same respect for Alastor’s orientation there too. But that… wasn’t the case? I am fully aware that aromanticism and asexuality are both spectrums— of course, aromantic and/or asexual people can enter those kinds of relationships. I’m not denying that and they belong in the community as much as anyone else on the spectrum.

But, the more I see the same line again and again and again, the more it feels like an excuse to just ship what you want.

Usually I don’t mind shipping? I’m often a firm believer in people shipping what they like as long as it’s harmless and they don’t go crazy over it. I also know for a fact that Viv doesn’t have a problem with people shipping her characters. They are fictional, after all.

But in this case, people are ignoring the very thing that makes Alastor a part of the aroace community! People are ignoring his lack of romantic or sexual attraction!

Is this not the same as changing a gay character’s orientation to suit a straight ship? If not, how so? I’m told that we are a part of this community, so why aren’t we being treated like it? Why is it so hard to accept the people on the end of the spectrum who aren’t interested?

Something I’ve been noticing throughout my life is that society has not exactly progressed very much on the idea of accepting asexual or aromantic identities. Maybe we have, a little, since the old days— but hell, people in “the old days”, which in truth wasn’t very long ago, believed that asexuality was a medical condition to be “fixed” by taking the right medication or having sex. That’s a pretty low bar to clear. And on the romance side, you’re seen as a “late bloomer” or “boring” if you don’t express interest. These days, being friends with someone is treated like a gateway to them possibly becoming a lover. Not getting married, not going on dates, not wanting a partner— it’s all treated like a crime when it’s not.

Maybe I’m selfish, or sensitive, or I’m butthurt over nothing, or I’m making it all about me. Maybe I’m gatekeeping or whatever the term is. But please, please, please, I just want an aroace character like me who simply is not interested in sex or romance.

And I want fandom to respect that. I admire the creations that fans make— the art, the animatics, the writing and the character analysis. And I want people to keep creating because creation is indeed a beautiful thing.

But I really would like people to treat aroace identities like they’re important. Like it’s more than just a spectrum to get wiggle room to wrangle in another ship.

#aromantism #aromantic #aroace #asexual #hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor #lgbtqia #alastor aroace #PLEASE i just want people to LEAVE HIM ALONE #“but it’s a spectrum” STOP USING IT AS AN EXCUSE #RESPECT AROACE PEOPLE WITH ZERO INTEREST IN ROMACE AND SEX #let us have this #we barely get anything as it is #but just to clarify i don’t believe that most people are being intentionally rude about it #nor am i discouraging people from creating fan content because it is FAN CONTENT and you can express yourself #i just would like people to understand a little more that #yes it is a spectrum and it covers an extremely wide range of orientations #yes ANYONE who identities as someone on the spectrum is completely valid #if you wanna argue with that i am showing you the door and kicking your sorry aphobic ass out #my point is that the spectrum is not a loophole. it is not an excuse and it is NOT okay to just use it willy nilly for your convenience