#and aaron wanted to make sure his brother wasn’t getting hurt

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 34

PREV

Sometimes when you have bad anxiety it’s hard to judge how scary something actually is.

FF breaks into a cold sweat practicing his order in line at fast food places. FF shakes with nerves at the prospect of asking about where a certain building was on campus from a stranger. FF’s stomach twisted into knots when he thought Andrew was leading him to his death in the basement of Eden’s. It’s hard when everything in life feels like the scariest and most impossible thing you’ll ever have to deal with.

Still, FF had felt like he had been getting braver. Had felt like he might be getting just a bit better in regard to confronting his fears.

He’d been getting better.

He managed to laugh with the cashier when he ordered combo number two-teen instead of twelve before break. He had asked for directions to the nearest bathroom from a stranger when one of Kevin’s shakes had gone straight through him. He had even gone down into the basement with Andrew and realized he had friends.

Looking at Daniel makes that progress feel far away.

His stepbrother’s name tastes like ash in his mouth.

“I just want to talk.” Daniel says raising his hands up placatingly. “We’re family.” Daniel says pointing between himself and FF.

“We’re not family and I don’t want to talk.” FF says because they aren’t, and he doesn’t. Daniel is one of the top two people in the entire world he doesn’t want to talk to ever.

“There’s your answer, now leave.” Captain Neil dismisses Daniel who still has his hands up.

“C’mon talk to me. We’re brothers John.” Daniel says and FF feels his entire body tense at the name.

“John?” Nicky looks back at him in confusion.

“That’s not my name.” FF hears himself say more than he consciously says it. “It was never my name.” he swallows tart cherry flavored bile. It really was one of Kevin’s better smoothies and FF would feel terrible if he puked it up. The world sways as he tries to breathe through the nausea of hearing Daniel call him by that name again.

He changed it the second he turned 18 last March. He’d signed his contract as a Smith not a Stanton. He would never let someone take it from him again even if hearing his first name still made his heart ache.

He feels Kevin’s hand on the center of his back steadying him and maybe he is swaying and not the world. Kevin takes the smoothie out of his hands before he can drop it.

Nicky must see something too because his friend abandoned the front line to steady him with an arm around his shoulders. He thinks he sees Captain Neil take his place.

“Of course, it was! It’s the name our dad gave you.” Daniel says and FF’s stomach cramps at the thought. “He’s still hurt that you changed it and that you haven’t reached out. Do you know what it’s like to find out your brother was hurt during a press conference?” Daniel asks and FF can see how he’s going for the sympathy card here looking at the others.

It’s his usual tactic.

“Fred is not my dad. You, Lucas, and Greg are not my brothers.” FF can feel a headache coming on along with the stomach cramps. He wishes that Aaron had let him restock on Pepto because the tart cherries maybe aren’t the best thing at the moment.

Daniel has always been the worst part of his stepfamily.

Greg had been a physical bully. Lucas had always followed Greg’s lead. Fred hadn’t looked at him more than he had to from the very moment that FF had made it clear that he did not appreciate the 13th birthday gift of ‘a new name’ and still intended to spend time with his grandmother. His mother had been distant for ages, but he always felt her watchful gaze making sure he did not step out of line, did not give her an excuse to put him back on the medication that left him as a zombie.

Daniel was different.

Daniel wanted things to be a certain way, but he wasn’t like his father or his brothers. He didn’t force FF to change, didn’t bully him into accepting a name that he had never wanted, and never let on to the fact that he was watching.

They’re the same age. Daniel had come to him like he could be a friend something he had been in short supply of after his two years of being little more than a medicated zombie. Daniel had gotten close; Daniel had pretended to actually care and acted like he only wanted what was best for FF.

It might have even worked.

If FF wasn’t such a loyal grandson.

Daniel had tried to poison the well between him and Gran, had tried to tell him that he needed to leave her behind and be happy in his new family.

FF had been stalwart.

Then Daniel had gone after his Gran and FF dislocated his thumb punching him.

“You don’t touch her.” He had said seeing Daniel for what he was for the first time. He saw a monster where a friend used to be but he had told this monster all of his secrets, all of his weaknesses, and had given him ammo.

Daniel came off as sweet and caring. He was athletic. He was a good friend. He was smart.

He was just also evil and made sure that FF suffered every single day they lived together because FF saw that evil in him when no one else had.

More than anything FF had been happy to bid him farewell when he’d signed his legal name on the contract to Palmetto State University’s Exy Team.

Just the sight of him brought up bad memories.

“No brother here to talk to it seems.” Captain Neil says.

“Bye Daniel. Kevin and Aaron, you two can walk back.” Andrew says and FF feels hands on his shoulders and found himself being steered towards the Maserati and FF stiffened instantly at the sight of it. “Smith?” Andrew questions.

FF had been doing better.

Screaming and pointing.

A hand reaching.

A sharp swerve.

Blood in his eyes and smoke in his lungs.

“I’m scared.”

Tiny hands in his.

“It’s going to be okay; I promise.”

Waking up to his grandma holding his hand in the hospital.

He’d been getting better.

“See, you’re still upset over what that guy did. Why are you clinging to the last name of the guy that did this to you?” Daniel asks from behind him, “He almost killed mom and you. He did kill our two-“

“Stop.” FF hears himself say and he turns to Daniel. “Jay and Robin weren’t your little siblings, they were mine. I’m not your family, I never was and never will be. I’m not scared of cars anymore.” A lie mixed in with multiple truths.

Maybe it’ll make Daniel happy to see that FF still knows how to play all of his favorite games.

He turns to Andrew who is staring at him patiently, “I’m not feeling well.” He says.

Andrew looks at him and FF figures he probably looks as shitty as he feels, “Someone will have to sit on someone’s lap.” He says.

“Smithy, sit on my lap.” Nicky says and FF can’t help the way he leans into Nicky’s warmth as his friend guides him to around the car keeping himself between Daniel and FF. Nicky gets in first and FF doesn’t hesitate to crawl onto Nicky’s lap.

He thinks he hears Daniel start to say something, but Andrew slams the door shut on his way to the driver’s side. Andrew doesn’t move from the passenger door, blocking it with his body.

Nicky guides his face into his neck, “Can we buckle-up?” he asks, and Nicky almost dislodges him he’s so quick in his compliance.

“Of course.” Nicky says and there’s the feeling of the seatbelt and the click of it locking into place. Nicky’s hand was in his hair.

FF doesn’t know if it just took a while or if he was just drifting in his thoughts as Nicky stroked his hair. “Are you scared of cars?” he asks voice quiet.

“Yes.” FF answers because it’s Nicky. “I was in an accident.” He explains just as quietly as Nicky had asked.

“Siblings?” Nicky asks voice choking with emotion.

FF pressed his face into Nicky’s neck further and hopes the pressure will stop his eyes from watering. “Yes.” He says. “Younger.” He manages.

Nicky holds him tighter, and FF is glad Nicky doesn’t tell him it’ll be okay.

FF doesn’t know if he drifts or if the others are listening to Daniel’s poison and falling for it. He’s glad that at least he’ll still have Nicky.

Eventually, the doors open, and he thinks he hears Daniel’s voice, but all three doors shut quickly.

“What an asshole.” Aaron spits.

“That doesn’t necessarily disqualify him.” Kevin says.

“We’re not talking about this right now.” Captain Neil hisses, “Smith, we’re going to get you to Abby’s, okay?” he says but FF doesn’t really have the energy to do anything more than a thumbs up.

The car ride is smoother than usual. It’s also quiet other than Kevin reminding him that he’d sleep better if they’d stop by the store to grab more smoothie supplies, Aaron smacking him upside the head, and Andrew threatening to kill both of them if they got tart cherry and avocado smoothie on his interior.

By the time they’re at Abby’s FF is almost asleep in Nicky’s lap but he forces himself to wake up and climb out of the car when Andrew opens the passenger door for them. He finds it hard to look at any of them at the moment.

“Sorry about all of that.” He manages looking down at his feet. “You shouldn’t have had to see that.”

“Smith,” Captain Neil’s hand rests on his shoulder and FF startles slightly as he looks down into the blue eyes of his Captain, “if we got what we deserved, we wouldn’t be Foxes.” He says as FF takes a long and steadying breath. “You have a past and that’s what brought you here.” Captain Neil squeezes his shoulder.

“You’re one of us and we take care of our own.” Andrew says before pushing him towards Nicky, “Get him to bed.” He says.

Nicky didn’t need to be told twice. Abby and Grandma Smith were out checking out a restaurant after the game, the two having become good friends during their stay. FF was glad his Gran was somewhere else and didn’t have to see him like this. FF was even more glad for his friend’s help as Nicky dragged him through his bedtime routine. “Don’t expect this when we’re roomies.” Nicky teased as he helped FF change.

It was hardly five minutes between pulling up and Nicky tucking FF into bed. “We’ll be by tomorrow, call me if that asshole shows up, okay?” Nicky says pointing at him.

FF, still to tired, just gave a thumbs up and closed his eyes.

He just hoped he drank enough of the smoothie that he wouldn’t dream.

***

Nicky left Abby’s house and made sure to lock the door behind him after he had checked a grand total of three times that FF was asleep in the guest bedroom, he’d taken up residency in.

Siblings.

Nicky’s heart ached.

He found the rest of the Monsters loitering outside by the Maserati with Aaron pacing, Kevin wiping his tongue on his shirt, as Andrew and Neil sat on the hood sharing a cigarette.

“He’s asleep?” Andrew asks.

“Out like a light.” He looks over to Kevin, “What’s going on with Kevin?” he asks.

“He tried some of what was left of the Smoothie he gave to Smith.” Neil says with an amused laugh. “He didn’t like it.” He says.

“I’ve been aiming for nutritional, not delicious.” Kevin argues, “Smiths hasn’t complained.”

“Smith is a little too nice for his own good.” Aaron rolls his eyes, “Which is why we’re not letting that asshole get his way!” Aaron adds.

“Being an asshole doesn’t stop you from being good at Exy.” Kevin crosses his arms.

“Obviously!” Aaron returns gesturing at Neil, Andrew, and Kevin.

“I resent that.” Kevin and Neil said at the same time as Andrew just shrugged.

“Hey, what the hell are you guys talking about?” Nicky asks hating feeling locked out of the loop. He didn’t regret climbing in the car to hold FF but there’d been too much time between when he’d sat in the Maserati to when the rest had joined for there to have not been a conversation.

“You didn’t hear?” Aaron asks incredulous.

“I was busy.” Nicky hisses and at least Aaron has the good grace to blush.

“Daniel Stanton wants to try out for the open spot on our roster since Lisa decided to stay home.” Neil says through gritted teeth, “The University already approved that he can try out.” He adds.

“That asshole wants to be a Fox.” Andrew says.

There were many noise disturbance calls from the usually quiet neighborhood that night as Nicky Hemmick let his opinion on this be known to the world.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

#Fluent Freshman AU #Fluent Freshman Friday #FF - Pt. 34 #AFTG #AFTG AU #Andreil #Nicky Hemmick #I got you guys in with all the fun jokes #and now we're here #in the awful reality that FF is a Fox #Now you may be wondering #Where in the world did the rest of the smoothie go #The answer is that Kevin dumped it onto Daniel #on purpose #but then regretted it #because how is Smith going to get all his appropriate vitamins and nutrients #without Kevin's handcrafted smoothies #You may also be wondering #Why Kevin is just now discovering that his smoothies taste like ass #and the answer is that he was fully confident in their flavor without tasting them #Smith was just drinking them down! #What a champ

[arachnoia]

formula 1 | [1] | across the spiderverse

in which you turn suspicious of your cousin Miles and follow him, only to find out he’s part of a racing gang.

love triangle between hobie, miguel, and you a/n- HI! So basically this is a repost but I wanted to updated it with more ! i really want to make this into a series and am very hyped about it ! i thought that it was too short last time!

(will include Spanish that is not translated! ty!)

1998 | New York City.

Your eyes flickered as you were met with the smell of your Tia’s cooking.

Empanadillas. Your favorite.

Your back hurt from lugging some of your uncle’s car parts yesterday. You barely got home at 3 for helping your uncle Aaron with some client that needed an oil change.

You got up and stretched as you went to brush your teeth and wash your face. You felt tired as fuck.

You made your way to the kitchen where you saw your Tia Rio running around the kitchen, trying to make sure things aren’t burnt.

“Hey, Tia! Are those empanadillas I smell-“

“Ay, bendito! Get up, Y/N! Wake your brother up!” She pushed you towards the hallway and went back to flipping tortillas.

You groaned and went to Miles’ room before you knocked it down and hit him with a throw pillow on his chair, “DESPIERTA, ‘MANO!”

Miles pushed you and covered his face with his pillow, “2 more minutes, please!”

“Nope! Tia wants you up already. And yes, Unc already left in case you want to ask.”

As you left, you heard Miles mutter a little ‘yes’.

You went back to your room and dressed for the weather; a cropped white cami, black cargo pants, and some Jordans.

Summer vacation barely started and you felt exhausted.

You had a part-time at your uncle’s mechanic shop where you help with cars. And right now, thanks to Tia Rio, you had somewhere to stay. Miles wasn’t actually your brother but you just called him that.

You wanted well for Miles. You practically considered him a brother and never would want him in stupid shit that would involve him doing something detrimental to himself.

You worried a bit when he started to come back late home and you had to cover for him. You thought he just went out with Ganke, his friend from school. But you weren’t always sure sometimes because he would come home with some scratches or would be hurt. You tried asking but always got hit with “Oh it was Ganke’s cat” or “Nah I just fell on the way home. I was studying” so you quit it.

But as long he’s okay, you’re okay.

You stayed with Rio since your parents lived back in Chicago and you went to school in New York.

All you had now were Tia Rio, Uncle Jeff, Uncle Aaron, and Miles. But that didn’t matter. You were happy.

You got 2 empanadillas before you took a scoop of rice and swiftly left the kitchen, “Ya me voy, Tia!”

You took your skateboard, and your canvas bag, and went to Aaron’s since he needed your assistance again for work on the AC.

Skateboarding while occasionally glancing at graffiti or some posters was your favorite thing to do and listening to your current favorite cassette on your Walkman (currently 'Fantasy' by Mariah Carey).

You felt old since you've had it for a good few years.

Your major was currently in business in case you wanted to start up something in the future

“What’s up, Unc!” You dabbed up your uncle as he laughed. “What’s good, man? We’re gonna have to work on this AC. They want it done by 4. Think you-“

“Yes, I got it.”

You cracked your knuckles as you got to work, picking up the roof of the car and working on the AC.

It didn’t take long to finish. You did auto shop in high school and it was easy to fix. You also added a new air freshener because you felt nice today.

After working on a few other cars and their issues, you noticed it was getting dark out and felt tired.

“Imma clock out. Bye, Unc!” You said your goodbyes and took your skateboard to go back to Rio’s.

Until you saw Miles, walking around the street.

“Hey, what’s up”

You stopped before you saw Miles looking around the street and sneakily going to an alley.

This part of New York ain’t pretty and you were not pleased to see your 17-year-old cousin sneaking around. It was 7 p.m too which was even more strange since Miles' studying ended at 3.

You dropped your skateboard and started following Miles. You didn’t care, you had 4 other skateboards and it was old anyway.

You couldn’t believe this! Was he doing drugs?

It wasn’t until Miles took a turn to an abandoned warehouse, near a bodega you used to go with him.

“Just what the hell are you doing Miles..?”

You slid through the fence opening and hid behind a blue barrel, just watching.

Miles then went into the warehouse and a few minutes later, he popped out with a car.

Since when did Miles have a car?! A Ford Mustang Fastback to be exact.

It looked like the same one Aaron had but never used. Your Uncle Aaron has a collection of cars and never paid attention, but you did.

You knew Miles could drive because you taught him how to back in Chicago when he came to visit.

He came out of the car and went inside the warehouse where you followed him again.

Right when he was going to enter, you had enough, “OYE MILES!”

Miles froze and turned around facing you. He looked like he saw a ghost.

“What are you doing here, Y/N?”

Your face shifted to a confused face. Miles always has called you by your nickname, never by Y/N.

“Miles what’s going on?”

“Noth-“

Your voice turned stern as you grabbed his shoulder to look you in the eye, “Miles, what the fuck is going on?!”

“Y/N…”

“Answer me, Miles.”

“Y/N!”

“JUST ANSWER ME!”

“I-I don’t think you should be here…”

Your eyebrow raised at your cousin’s words.

“Says who?”

Miles' face shifted from distraught to scared.

You felt a tap on your shoulder from behind you, sending shivers down your spine as you felt claw-like nails scratch the material of your shirt as the man tapped you. His voice only sent more shivers.

“Says me.”

The man had a black wifebeater, dark blue jeans, a gold chain, and a noticeable spiderweb tattoo on his bicep.

Miles looked at him and gave him a scared look.

“Oh shit.”

The voice’s owner looked serious.

If he didn’t look like he’d shoot you, you would totally ask him out for some drinks at a bar but considering your circumstances right now, it was the last thing on your mind.

Your heart raced as he looked at you, his red eyes piercing into yours before shifting his gaze to Miles.

“Mira, Morales. What did I say about bringing girls here?”

Miles’ eyes widened as you pursed your lips, “Did he just say, girls? As in plural? Miles, I swear to god I’m gonna beat your ass and all of these bitches-”

“Yo sis-” Miles kept shaking his head frantically as if he was petrified, which he looked like he was.

“How could ya keep this from me? I taught you how to drive, how to”

The man then looked at you and raised his eyebrow, “Look. You either shut your pretty little mouth or we get into problems, and I won’t hesitate to involve your hermanito either.”

He held your chin to face him up even more until you saw a tattooed arm with a punk spiked bracelet. You looked over to the man and he winked at you before having a staring contest with the other man holding you.

“Hands off the girl, mate. If she taught Miles how to drive, then maybe we could use her to some advantage…”

The man with the bracelet gripped at the other’s hand until he finally let go of your chin.

Bracelet guy peered at you and smiled again, “Sorry I didn’t introduce myself! The name’s S-Punk, but you can just call me Hobie and this scary grump is Miguel.”

You slightly smiled at him due to his cute British accent in which he returned the smile.

Miguel glared at the sight and scoffed, “How in puta madre is this little girl going to help us? Prolly doesn’t even know what horsepower is-”

You glared at him and scoffed, “This little girl has worked with over 500 cars in her 23 years of living so don’t think for a fucking second that I don’t know what I’m talking about.”

You grabbed him by the collar of his shirt to face you and felt his minty breath against your lips. His nonchalant face slightly shifted with him pursing his lips at how close you two were.

“Come and try me, little boy.”

Miles stared at the sight in shock and grabbed you by the arm, “Yo I needa talk with her. I’ll meet back with y’all soon.”

You looked back to Hobie chuckling while covering his mouth and Miguel rolling his eyes, regaining his calm composure. You heard Hobie talk but didn’t know if you heard Hobie correctly: “She sure had an effect on you, mate.”

What the hell?

Miles fastened his pace and led you to the side of the warehouse where he then put his hands on his face and yelled.

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!”

You put your hand on your hip and raised your eyebrow, “Oh I know you did not just talk to me like that?”

Miles looked at you annoyed, “That guy you were just talking to? Miguel? He’s so- UGH! You should’ve just shut up!”

“What the fuck do you mean he’s so?”

His face grew concerned.

Miles began pacing back and forth and held his head down before he looked up and scratched the back of his neck nervously.

“Y/N, look. He’s dangerous and I don’t want you-"

“MILES! IF YOU KNEW HE WAS DANGEROUS THEN WHY DID YOU" You took a deep breath and calmed down to hopefully get a reasonable answer, “Okay, why is he so dangerous?”

Miles looked shocked from your change in demeanor and took a deep breath, “Sis, don’t get mad, okay?”

You looked at him and glared, “Why would I?”

Miles sighed and held you by your shoulders tightly, “Miguel is a leader of a racing gang…he’s dangerous because he’s one of New York’s fastest racers. And one of the most lethal…”

Your blank expression became even more evident and you froze, “So Miles…you’re in a racing gang?”

Miles gulped and sighed again, “Yes…BUT IT'S FOR THE MONEY. Mira sis, imagine all the shit we could do with that money if I win a race? You can be a mechanic-“

You held your finger against his lips to shush him, “Don’t bring my ambition into some bullshit. Miles, how could you? What if you get killed? You just said Miguel-“

“Miguel can help me. Look, you taught me how to drive and you met Hobie, he considers me a good driver!”

You crossed your arms and rolled your eyes, “Then where the hell is the money?”

Miles flashed a sheepish grin and pointed down to his feet.

He happened to get some new Jordan 13s.

“So what happened to the whole ‘Oh sis! I’ll pay for your dreams!’ when you just-“

You gripped your temple and sighed.

“Hey, I gotta look fresh for the ladies! But some of these races can bet up to 10 grand…”

Miles stopped as he looked beside your shoulder to find Hobie, leaning against the wall and smoking some blunt, “Yo Morales, Miguel wants to see you.”

Miles nodded and left you frozen before Hobie spoke again, pointing at you with his blunt.

“Bring her too.”

He raised his eyebrow in confusion, “Why does Miguel want to see Y/N?”

Hobie smiled as he blew smoke from his blunt, “Oh so that’s the girl’s name? Y/N…it’s pretty.”

Your face shifted to an awkward look as you and Miles gave each other a confused look.

“Hey, Hobie? Hello?”

Miles said, trying to wave his hand in front of Hobie’s face but he kept gazing at you with a mischievous smile.

“Just so you know babe, I’m 20. So if you’re feeling lonely one day and you wanna fu- I mean, hang out.”

“Stop hitting on my cousin. It’s embarrassing to see and it’s gross cuz she’s MY COUSIN.” Miles rolled his eyes and started walking,

He took a hit of his blunt and blew the smoke into Miles’ face, “Why don’t ‘cha shut up, can ya? I don’t know but he said he wanted to see her too.”

Hobie puckered his lips and blew air kisses to you, making you smile sheepishly and laughed.

The three of you walked into the warehouse.

On the outside it looked like it was abandoned but on the inside was a whole other story. You’d expect some machinery for a factory or loads of crates.

You weren’t wrong as they weren’t for manufacturing, but car parts for different people in the gang.

“Welcome to the Arachnids’ hideout, sweetheart,” Hobie whispered. your ear being tickled by his breath against it.

“The Arachnids, huh? Cool name.”

The place was also splattered with spider graffiti. You looked beside Hobie who smiled at you before taking another hit of his blunt and throwing it on an ashtray placed on someone’s table full of mechanic tools.

Hobie was actually pretty attractive. He had multiple piercings, with snake bites, nose piercings, eyebrow, industrial, and several on his ear. He wore the same tattoo as Miguel along with others and wore a simple black t-shirt, dark blue jeans, and an eye-catching vest with several pins and patterned patches.

“So you like The Cure?” You said, pointing at his pin.

“Yup, and you?”

You nodded, “I have ‘Disintegration’ on cassette. My favorite is ‘Pictures of You’.”

Hobie smiled, “Yeah that’s a good song-”

“Are you guys done?”

Miles raised his eyebrow and crossed his arms. You weren’t paying attention to where you guys were going but noticed that you sure as hell wasn’t in the same bright place where the colors and cars resided. It was a dark hallway with you guys in front in.

Hobie knocked on the door and groaned, annoyed, “He’s here.”

“Come in.”

You saw Miguel counting some dollar bills as 2 girls were smoking some cigarettes and talking, a Bachata song playing in the background.

Hoja en Blanco? Rio liked to put on those songs while she cleaned.

Hobie smirked and laughed, “You look like a pimp, mate.”

Miguel looked up and glared at Hobie, “Porque no te callas?”

He glanced at you and raised his eyebrow, “Morales, what’s this girl’s name?”

Miles stiffened. You noticed that whenever Miguel talks to Miles, he just gets intimidated. “Her name is Y/N Y/L/N. She’s my cousin…”

You raised your eyebrow and took a step forward, “Why the hell do you want me here?”

Miguel rested his head on his palm and chuckled, “You’re a mechanic, aren’t you?”

You felt intimidated by his tone and slight accent. The fact it looks like he’s judging you by just looking doesn’t help.

“Yes? Why does that matter?” You crossed your arms and felt a bit of false confidence, which made Miguel widen his eyes and smile a bit.

“Whatever they pay you, I can pay you triple that amount. We do need a new mechanic since Peter is on paternity leave.”

One of the girls smiled, “God I miss MJ…She truly lived up to her name.”

You frowned and tilted your head, “Hey, I didn’t say I was going to work for you-”

Miles grabbed your shoulder and gave you a cautious look.

Miguel stood up from his seat, slamming the stack of money on his desk, “Are you declining my offer, Y/L/N?”

You leaned closer towards him, “What if I am?”

Before Miguel could speak, Miles grabbed you by the arm and Hobie grabbed you by the other, “Hey man, I think we should speak with her before things get…hasty.”

Hobie nodded frantically and opened the door in order to go, holding you back from wanting to say more.

“We’ll see ya tomorrow, mate.”

Once the door was shut, Miguel looked at his side and sighed.

“Damn Miguel, she has the guts to talk to you like that,” Lyla laughed. Jess opened a bag of some Hot Cheetos and chuckled, “Yup. I’m surprised you haven’t pushed her against the wall and went crazy!”

Miguel rolled his eyes and glared at the two women who were currently laughing their asses off.

“She doesn’t realize that just made a huge mistake…”

…..

“You just love to test his ass, don’t you?” Hobie said, his expression reminiscent of Miles’ a few minutes ago before all of this. He opened his Coke and took a sip. He cringed from the sharp feeling of the fizzy feeling on his tongue.

The three of you dipped from the warehouse and were walking back from raiding a near-by bodega.

“Listen, as much as cool this whole Arachnids thing is, I don’t want to be involved in this shit. I’m not even that ‘good of a driver’ so y’know. Plus, why does Miguel want me to be a mechanic for you guys?”

Miles shrugged, “I mean, you told him you’ve worked with ‘more than 500 cars’ oooooh,” He said mockingly.

You rolled your eyes.

“I had to say something?”

“Maybe say something that doesn't make you sound like a conceited bitch-?”

“WHAT WAS THAT??”

Hobie laughed and titled his head back.

“I mean, Miles is a pretty good driver and you taught him. So maybe…or also plus maybe he wants to get with you? Shit, I would too.”

Miles cringed and glared at Hobie, “Man what the fuck?” earning another laugh from Hobie.

“Okay but man I don’t know…”

You felt horrible and hypocritical but the money sounded tempting.

You know. You yelled at Miles for this but you were a mechanic! You’d still work for Aaron as a day job but the money sounded tempting.

You could be able to buy your mom all the perfumes she wanted and fly your parents out to New York.

As you guys were walking, you felt someone tap you on the shoulder behind you.

Thinking it was Miguel, you slapped it and turned behind you, getting the attention of Miles and Hobie.

It was Aaron.

He gave you a concerned look and widened his eyes.

“Uh you good? You left your bag at the shop and I was gonna give it to you. You look like you saw a ghost, man.”

You sighed in relief and grabbed your bag, “Thanks, Unc. I was just thinking you were someone else. I’m sorry!”

“No you’re good. What the hell are you guys doing late at night? Miles, don’t you got summer studying in the morning? And who the hell is this?”

Aaron pointed at Hobie who nervously looked around and smiled.

“Oh! Uh-?” You looked at Miles to give and answer before you felt Hobie’s arm around your shoulder.

“What’s good? I’m Y/N’s boyfriend, Hobie. Nice to meet ‘cha,” he said, holding out his hand to a stunned Aaron.

“What’s up, man. I’m Y/N and Miles’ uncle,” Aaron said, shaking Hobie’s hand.

You stood there as shocked as Miles. He looked like he wanted to bang his head against the nearest brick wall to get himself out of this situation. His racing mentor with his literal cousin?

“Well, Imma go so it was nice seeing you guys. See ya tomorrow, Y/N. See ya, Miles!”

Aaron turned around and left back to his apartment, leaving you, Miles, and Hobie to figure out what just happened.

Hobie then felt his pager go off, “Bloody hell…”

He looked at it, read the message, and rolled his eyes as he showed you and Miles the green letters saying “Bring her tomorrow”.

Hobie looked at you and shrugged, “Guess he wants ya tomorrow,” earning a nod from you and an aggravated sigh.

Miles looked at you tensed, “Sis, are you sure-“

You tried to think about this and nodded. You could be able to protect Miles with this. You could watch over him and could be able to earn more money to support your family out of state.

“I’ll go tomorrow…I have to see what that bastard wants.”

#miguel o'hara #across the spiderverse #into the spider verse #spiderman 2099 #miguel o’hara x reader #hobie brown #miles morales #sol (not de janeiro) #miguel ohara x reader

[mult1f1cs]

Sick Days part 1

Pairings: Aaron Hotchnerx Non!BAUFem reader Warnings: Fluff Word count: 2314

(Your p.o.v)

     I was laying on the couch in my house. My son Jack and my daughter Evelyn were cuddled up next to me. My husband Aaron has been out of town on a case for almost 2 weeks. The second day he was gone Jack and Evelyn got sick at daycare. I ended up getting sick while caring for them obviously. Right now we were watching a Disney movie and the air conditioner was on full blast to try and keep us all cool. We had just had some chicken soup for lunch and the kids were shifting between sleep and not sleeping. I had gotten a text from Aaron that said he would be home later this evening and I was glad about that because as much as I love Jack and Evelyn it’s hard to take care of two sick kids alone especially with Evelyn only being three. I heard Evelyn start to cry and I rub her back while I turn to look at her, “Hey princess what’s wrong?” She looks up at me and says, “I yucky mama. My voice owie.” I kiss the top of her head knowing she means her throat hurts, “I know princess. Want brother to get your sippy cup?” She nods and I look at Jack, “Hey buddy can you grab sissy’s cup real quick.” He nods and gets up slowly walking over to the pile of blankets on the floor grabbing Evelyn’s sippy cup and his water bottle. Both of their bottles had a mixture of juice and medicine. Evelyn smiles at Jack a little when he hands her the sippy cup and she says, “Tank you Jack.” He smiles at her and rubs her cheek, “You’re welcome Evie.” I sat up slowly as I went into a coughing fit and I gently moved Evelyn from my lap to the couch. I got up and Jack said, “Where are you going mama?” I look at him and ruffle his hair a little, “The bathroom and then to refill my water bottle. Keep an eye on Evie for me.” He nods and I smile as I walk out of the room. 

     When I walked back out to the living room after refilling my water bottle I saw Evie and Jack cuddled up on the couch asleep. I smiled and slowly climbed onto the couch next to them laying down with them cuddling them close as I started to fall asleep. I heard my phone go off before I fell asleep completely and I reached over to the coffee table picking it up. I saw a text from Aaron saying that they were getting on the plane to come home. I texted back telling him I hoped the flight went well and I love him. I put my phone back down then turned back around and closed my eyes slowly falling asleep. 

(Aaron’s p.o.v)

     The team had just landed back in Virginia and I was the first to stand up and grab my bag. I heard Derek chuckle and say, “You excited for paperwork bossman.” I look at him, “Actually I’m going straight home. I’ve got two sick kids and a sick wife waiting for me. Everyone take the weekend off.” They all smiled at me and as soon as the plane doors opened I got out and walked over to one of the black SUV’s. I got in and threw my bag in the passenger seat then started my drive home. When I got home I walked inside, shutting the door as quietly behind me as I could just in case they were asleep. I heard the sound of the tv from the living room but no other noises. I walked to the living room after taking my shoes and coat off. I saw all three of my people passed out on the couch in a cuddle pile. I slowly walked over and knelt down by the couch brushing some hair out of Y/N’s face making her stir a little. She woke up and turned and looked at me smiling a little, “Hey baby how was the case?” I smile and kiss her forehead, “It wasn’t too bad, just long. I heard you had a harder time than I did though.” She chuckled a little, “It was rough, but not too bad Jack was being a good help with Evie.” I smile at her, “Yeah he’s a good helper. How much sleep have you gotten the past two weeks?” She just shrugged, “Eh not enough, but making sure our kiddos are safe and healthy is worth the sleepless nights.” I smile and kiss her cheek, “I’m gonna go change real quick then I will come back and watch over the kids while you go and get some rest in our comfy bed.” She nods at me and I stand up and make my way to our room changing into an old t-shirt and some sweatpants. I walk back into the living room and help Y/N up off the couch, “Go get some sleep my love.” She nods and kisses my cheek then walks towards our room. 

     I walk around cleaning up some of the trash and dirty dishes from the coffee table quickly bringing them to the kitchen. I ran back out to the living room when I heard Evelyn crying. I walked over to the couch and saw her crying even though she was still basically asleep. I gently picked her up and grabbed her sippy cup walking over to the rocking chair in the corner of the room. I sat down and held her against my chest as I rocked back and forth slowly. Her eyes slowly opened as she coughed a little. A smile spread on her face when she looked at me and she said, “Dada I miss you. I yucky.” I kissed her forehead and said, “I know princess mama told me how yucky you felt. I missed you too princess. I wish I could have come home sooner.” I pat her back gently as she goes into a coughing fit. She whines after the fit and I kiss her forehead, “Is your throat hurting princess?” She nods slowly and I hand her her sippy cup. She slowly drank from it, her eyes closing again. I start to quietly hum to her as she falls asleep, her little snores filling the air due to how congested she is. 

     I look over at Jack on the couch and see him rubbing his eyes as he sits up. He looks over at me and smiles widely, “Hi dada.”  I smiled, “Hey buddy how are you feeling?” He stood up and walked over to me, “I’m feeling a little better. Can you help me get some more juice?” I nod and slowly stand up keeping my hand on Evie’s back as I walk to the kitchen with Jack in tow. He hands me his water bottle and I put some juice in it and a little bit of medicine, shaking it up for him. He smiles when I hand it back to him, “Thanks dada I’m gonna go try and sleep in my bed.” I nod and lean down kissing the top of his head, “Okay buddy just call if you need anything.” He nods and walks off to his room. I walk back to the living room sitting back in the rocking chair. I rocked back and forth to keep Evie asleep. 

(Your p.o.v)

     I slept for a few hours and woke up due to my parched throat. I grabbed my water bottle from the bedside table and walked out to the kitchen. I smiled to myself as I passed the living room and saw Aaron asleep in the rocking chair with Evie on his chest. I go and fill up my water bottle then walk out to the living room gently shaking him awake. He looks at me as he rubs a hand over his face, “Huh what’s up my love?” I smile at him, “Let’s get you to bed.” He looks down at Evie, “But what about her I don’t want to leave her alone?” I chuckle a little, “I moved her crib into our room the day she got sick so if she needs anything we will both be close by.” He nods and slowly stands up. I grab Evie’s sippy cup and we walk to our room. When we get there Aaron gently places Evie in her crib kissing her forehead. I smile and kiss her forehead then me and him get into bed. He pulls me close to him and I rest my head on his chest. He kisses the top of my head, “I wish I could have gotten home sooner.” I smiled at him, “I know, but I had it handled here and the people you helped needed you more.” He nods and I yawn a little, closing my eyes as I say, “I love you Aaron.” I smile as he says, “I love you too my love.” I fall asleep with a smile on my face in the arms of the man I love. 

     I woke up about two hours later to the sounds of cry’s filling the room. I slowly get up and walk over to Evie’s crib seeing her stand up. I picked her up immediately feeling her full diaper. I rub her back gently as I carry her over to the changing table, changing her diaper quickly. When I pick her up off the table she looks at me and says, “Mama milk?” I smile at her, “You want some princess?” She nods, “Yes pwease.” I smile and walk over to the crib grabbing her sippy cup before I walk out to the kitchen. I hold her on my hip as I rinse out the juice from her sippy cup. I put the cup on the counter then open the fridge, grabbing the milk. As I pour it I say, “So are you feeling any better princess?” Evie has had it the worst out of all three of us and I think it because she’s so young. She rests her head on my shoulder holding her fingers up as they are almost touching, “Dis much.” I look at her fingers as I put the milk back. “Only that much.” She nods and I make a mental note to make a doctor's appointment for tomorrow. I screw the lid onto her cup and hand it to her, “Okay back to bed.” She shakes her head, “No mama not eepy.” I nod, “Okay what do you want to do?” She looks at me, “Watch Doc.” I nod at her smiling as Doc means Doc McStuffins and that’s her favorite cartoon. I kiss her forehead, “Okay mama’s just gonna go grab her phone and water bottle so we have to be quiet so we don’t wake dada.”

     She nods as I walk to the bedroom grabbing my phone and water bottle from the bedside table as I look at the time and see it’s 4am. I walk out to the living room again and put Doc on the tv turning it down a little so it’s not too loud. I lay back on the bed couch situating Evie so she’s laying on my chest while she watches and sucks her sippy. As she watches I pull up the app for our doctors on my phone scheduling an appointment for Evie at noon tomorrow. I heard Jack’s door open in the hallway and his little footsteps walking towards the living room. I smiled at him when he walked in until I saw he looked like he was about to cry, “Hey buddy what’s wrong?” He pouted at me as tears fell down his face, “I had an accident mama.” I slowly sat up putting Evie carefully back down on the couch making sure she was in a safe position before I walked over to Jack wiping his tears, “Oh that’s okay buddy that happens sometimes when you're sick. Let’s get you cleaned up then you can sit with Evie while I change your bed.” He nods and I lead him to the bathroom. I start a bath helping him take off his wet clothes, putting them in the hamper. I hear footsteps coming down the hall and look up seeing Aaron stopped in the doorway, “Hey baby.” He smiles and walks over, “What’s going on here?” I look at him then Jack, “Jack had a little accident I’m helping him get cleaned up. Can you change his sheets?” He nods, “Yeah of course. Where’s Evie though?” Jack smiles and says, “She’s on the couch watching Doc. Mama said I can watch too after I get clean.” Aaron smiled at him and nodded as he walked out of the room and I helped Jack into the bathtub, “You can wash your body yourself right buddy?” He nods, “Yep mama.” I smile and kiss the top of his head, “Okay I’ll go get you some new clothes. Do you want long or short pajamas?” He thinks for a second, “Short mama.” I nod and walk to his room going to his dresser and pulling out some shorts and a t-shirt and some undies before I walk back to the bathroom. When I get there Aaron is helping him dry off with a towel. I smile and hand Aaron the clothes so he can help him dress while I go check on Evie who is now sat up on the couch as she watches the show instead of laying down. I go and get a cup with a lid and put some milk in it for Jack mixing in a little bit of sugar because he doesn’t like the taste of regular milk by itself but he loves milk. 

#aaron hotchner #criminal minds #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch fanfiction #dad girl aaraon hotchner #fluff #aaron hotchner fluff

[greg-montgomery]

Ivy - Part 9

gif by: @hotch-girl <3

Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader (Sean Hotchner x Fem!Reader)

Series summary: Your relationship with your boyfriend, Sean, is going great. Well, that is until you meet his older brother, Aaron.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Chapter summary: this one's angsty i'm sorry <3

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Penelope’s phone call came fast: your name was not on any hospital list from the area.

This information calmed Aaron down as much as it scared him. Where were you? All the possible and terrible scenarios of where you could be were already starting to build up in his head. Were you hurt? Had someone taken you?

The road was full of green lights, he knew he would be soon at Sean’s house but soon wasn’t soon enough. He decided to call him again.

“Did you find her?” Sean asked, as soon as he answered the phone.

“No. I just don’t wanna waste any time, that’s why I called again. Have you tried calling her friends? Maybe she’s with one of them,” he suggested.

“Of course I have, Aaron. Do you think I’d call you if I hadn’t tried this first?”

“Sometimes we don’t think about the obvious when we’re worried,” he replied, calmly.

He heard Sean taking a deep breath from the end of the line. “No one knows where she is. I can’t think of anything else.”

It was all becoming too real. The genuine worry in Sean’s voice terrified Aaron.

“Okay. I’ll be there in a few minutes.” He paused. “We’ll find her.”

“Okay.”

He remembered the last time Sean had called him for something that serious. He remembered of Sean standing in front of him and talking about a woman named Linda. Aaron knew almost nothing about her; his relationship with Sean back then was almost non-existent for him to have met his girlfriend. But he had seen her picture, and he knew she had been killed.

Was this their fate? To lose the women they loved? Were they both cursed to live this pain over and over again?

--

Sean’s hands were shaking as he opened the door. His eyes were red, making it clear to him that he’d been crying.

His phone was inside his hand and he showed it to Aaron. “I just got a call,” he said with a weak voice.

“And?” Aaron asked, his ability to breathe long gone.

“I’m so sorry, it’s all my fault,” Sean’s voice broke.

“What happened Sean? Is she alive?”

“They have her,” he answered, his tone full of regret.

‘They have her.’ She was alive.

“Who is ‘they’?”

“There are some things I haven’t told you.” Sean seemed to suddenly realize they were still standing at the door. “Come in, I’ll explain everything.”

Aaron did as he said, walking in with his heart beating like crazy against his chest.

“Sean, please talk to me, I’m gonna lose my mind.”

“I got a phone call from some people I owe money to. I only borrowed five thousand dollars, but now they’re asking for fifty to give her back.”

“Do you know their names?”

“No. Only their first names, which I’m pretty sure are fake.”

Aaron took a deep breath in. You had been kidnapped for ransom, which meant they wanted you alive. You were their prize, if they were to hurt you they’d lose everything and that was something someone who’s after money wouldn’t risk.

He nodded, trying to calm himself down. With the help of his team, they would get you back. They would. You were going to sleep in his arms that evening…safe and sound.

“They said they’re gonna call again in two hours to see if I have the money ready,” Sean said.

“Did you ask if she’s safe?”

“They said she is for now.”

Aaron’s breaths were shaky; he made a fist, running his thumb over his fingers to calm himself down. “Okay. I’m gonna…” he paused, struggling to gather his thoughts. “I’m gonna ask my team to come here and we’ll try to trace the phone call when they do. Do you have any idea where they could be keeping her?”

“We always met in neutral locations. I can’t think of anything, I’m sorry.”

Sean was scared, and it was obvious that he was blaming himself for this. “She will be okay. They need her alive in order to blackmail you,” Aaron tried to comfort him – as well as his own self – while typing JJ’s number on his phone.

As they waited for them, Sean told him everything about the phone call: every little detail, every single word. By the end of it, Aaron was confident that these two men were amateurs. Just two pieces of shit who thought they could make money by doing something they had only seen in movies.

They used the classic lines “No police involved, or she dies,” and “You better have the money ready when we call you, or we’ll mail you her finger.”

Aaron was gonna get you back, he was certain of it. And if they laid a hand on you, he’d strangle these two men with his bare hands.

His mind filled with thoughts of you all by yourself in some kind of cold basement, breaking his heart. You weren’t familiar with criminals, like he was. You were scared and alone, wondering if he would come and save you.

He wouldn’t let you down.

“Why didn’t you ask me for money again?” he asked Sean, gently. “You know I wouldn’t say no.”

“She is obsessed with you, Aaron,” he said, frustrated. “Asking for money from the man your girlfriend is in love with is beyond humiliating.” Sean stared at him. “What, you think I didn’t know before last night? Please…she looks at you as if you hung the fucking moon.”

Aaron stayed silent.

--

“Thank you for coming.”

“Of course, Hotch. It’s your family,” Derek said.

The team followed behind him; Spencer, Emily, JJ, Penelope, Rossi. They were all there for him…for you.

As they all greeted Sean and asked him questions, Aaron was left alone with Garcia.

“I’ve brought everything we need,” she told him, placing her equipment on the table.

“Sean told me what he knows about them. I don’t think they’ll be smart enough to try and make the call untraceable,” Aaron said.

“Then finding her will be a piece of cake, sir. We just have to wait for the phone call.”

His eyes were watery and he wasn’t doing anything to hide it. Penelope looked at him with one of those kind smiles of hers and placed her hand on top of his, squeezing it slightly. “We’ll get your sweet girl back,” she said. “Or…” she turned around to look at Sean, who was still speaking with the team, and then looked back at Aaron. “Sorry. Your brother’s.”

Aaron stared at her, without saying anything.

“Or yours?” she said, uncertain. “I’ll stop talking now.” Garcia sat down, and got to work.

--

“They’re late,” Sean said. “It’s been two hours and twenty minutes.”

He had been walking back and forth in the living room for half an hour, making everyone who looked at him nauseous.

“They’re doing it on purpose,” Derek said. “They want to scare you - want you to get worried, so you don’t have any second thoughts cooperating with them.”

“Well, they must be doing it right because I’m really fucking worried right now.”

Emily walked close to him. “Try not to fall in their trap,” she said. “We need you to be calm and concentrated for the phone call.”

“Why don’t we go over everything we said again,” JJ suggested.

“First rule: keep them on the phone for as long as possible. Ask questions, speak slowly; anything to make it last,” David said.

“Use her name a lot. Remind them that she’s a person with a name, a life and people who care about her,” Spencer told him. “They’re only in this for the money - not for the pleasure of torturing people - so there must be some kind of empathy somewhere inside them.”

“Do not mention anything that could make them feel threated. They’re delusional, thinking they suddenly gained power by having her. Let them believe it, let them keep their guards down,” Emily said.

“Aaron?” Sean called his name, staring at him. He was genuinely asking for his advice too.

Aaron had been silent, trying to conceal the fact that he had been losing his mind. If you were to get hurt, his whole world would stop forever.

“Ask for a sign that she’s alive,” he managed to say. “Try to get them to let her talk by saying you’re not giving them any money unless you know for sure that she’s okay.”

Sean nodded, looking like he was trying to memorize every rule. “I hope I don’t fuck this up too.”

“This isn’t your fault,” Aaron reminded him. “You had no way of knowing these guys would be this dangerous.”

“No, it is,” he said. “I’m the reason she’s taken. I’m the reason she’s all alone and away from us right now.”

Sean’s broken voice, his eyes struggling to hold the tears back, his shaky hands made Aaron feel weak.

He didn’t know if he could comfort his brother, he didn’t know if he should. But against his better judgment, he approached Sean and brought both of his hands on his brother’s arms. He expected him to push him away, to call him a name, but instead Sean fell into his arms, allowing himself to finally break.

“I’m sorry,” Aaron said, as his brother’s tears soaked his shirt. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

--

Almost an hour later, a phone rung, startling everyone in the room.

But it was Aaron’s, not Sean’s.

He wouldn’t pick up, but it was Jessica calling and he wanted to make sure his son was okay.

“Excuse me,” he said and took a few steps so he wouldn’t be heard by them - but would still know immediately if your kidnappers finally called.

“Daddy!” a cheerful voice came from the phone.

“Hey, buddy,” he said, doing his best so Jack wouldn’t trace any sign of sadness or worry in his tone.

“I know we said aunt Jess will bring me home tonight, but can I please come home early? I wanna see Y/N!”

Aaron couldn’t help from bursting into tears. He used his hand to cover the sound, his son’s sweet voice being the thing that finally broke him.

“Dad?”

“Sorry, Jack, you can’t.”

“Why not?” he asked, innocently.

“Because, Y/N is working, she won’t be here until late,” he lied, hoping it was convincing.

“But last night on the phone she said she wouldn’t work today,” Jack whined.

“There was a change of plans.”

Jack didn’t say anything and Aaron could feel even in silence how disappointed he was.

“She misses you too, Jack. It won’t be long until it’s the three of us together,” he promised.

“Okay…” his tiny voice said.

“I love you, buddy. Now can you please do me a favor and give the phone to your aunt? I need to tell her something.”

--

The room was way too cold for the tank top you were wearing, and yet you had never been more thirsty in your life.

You would ask for some water, try to reason with them, but your mouth was taped making it impossible for you to speak. There was no way to even signal it to them, since your hands were tied behind you, like your legs were on the chair.

Tom was the name of the man that was guarding you. He was the same man that hid himself in the backseat of your car, and the same man who pointed a gun to your head, forcing you to drive where he wanted.

His partner kept coming into the room, only to stay for a few minutes, laugh at you and leave again. Tom kept calling him Paul, but one time he slipped, referring to him as Jeremy and then quickly corrected himself. They couldn’t even hide their real names right. This was their first time kidnapping someone for sure.

As much as these two seemed like idiots, you couldn’t help but fear them. There was no way to know what they were capable of. And there was no way for Sean to be able to find the amount of money they were asking from him so fast.

Would Sean step on his pride and call Aaron to ask for his help? Would they save you? Or were you going to die alone in a cold and empty room away from the people you loved?

Aaron…

You closed your eyes, travelling to him with your mind, desperate for a place to feel safe.

He was smiling at you. Standing tall, towering over you and looking down as you were sitting on the carpet of his living room. You bowed your head to look at your lap and found your right hand holding an Iron Man figure. Turning your head to the side, you saw a little boy holding his own superhero. It was Spider-Man; that same toy you had gifted Jack with when you had first met him.

Jack grabbed another superhero and stretched his arm towards Aaron.

“Come on, daddy! Play with us,” he asked him.

“Okay, okay,” Aaron chuckled and sat down next to you. Taking his own figure in his hands he elbowed you, wearing that grin he always did when he teased his loved ones. “Okay but if I have Captain America, then which one of us will be the villain?”

“We’re all good guys dad!” Jack exclaimed.

“We are?” Aaron acted surprised.

“Yes, I couldn’t choose who would get the bad guy,” he explained. “So no one gets him.”

“Well, maybe all the superheroes can have the day off today and just have fun, right Y/N?” Aaron asked you, playfully.

You tried to open your mouth to reply to him, but you couldn’t. You wanted to laugh, you wanted to make a joke about how Spider-Man could have a tea party with his friends, you wanted to see Aaron and Jack giggle, but you couldn’t, there was tape over your mouth.

Your eyes opened and you were back to that cold room.

“Time to call your beloved, princess,” Tom said mocking you. “Or maybe not so beloved, considering you spent the night at a different house.” His laugh was disgusting and you wished your hands were free so you could cover your ears.

His partner was back in the room and they walked in front of you, putting the phone on speaker. They did it to torture you, there was no other explanation, since they wouldn’t let you speak anyway.

You remembered the first phone call they made to Sean; his desperate voice, his scared words. This time it would hurt even more.

“Hello?”

It was Sean. You wondered if Aaron was in the room with him, silently guiding him through his answers. Just the thought of it gave you comfort.

“Hello, Sean,” Paul or Jeremy - or whatever that asshole’s name was - said. “Your girlfriend is getting lonely here without you.”

“Is Y/N alright?”

“Is the money ready?” Paul answered instead.

 “I have them here with me.” There was a pause. “But…I need to know that my girlfriend is okay, before I agree to anything. I love her and I’m worried.”

“I hope you haven’t talked to the police, or we will be very, very angry with you,” he said, ignoring his question.

“I haven’t. You said no police and I did exactly what you’ve asked me too. So please, can you at least let me talk to her for a second?”

There was no way they would do that, and you knew. You had been the one driving, which meant you knew exactly where you were…which meant they would in no way let you speak, risking the possibility of you revealing your location.

“No,” Paul said.

“How can I meet with you and give you the money if I don’t know for sure that Y/N alive?”

“Well I guess you will simply have to trust us,” Tom answered.

“Okay…Alright. Where do you wanna meet?”

“Hmm…” Paul said, leaning close to you. He brushed his fingers against your cheek, looking into your eyes. “She’s a pretty girl. Way too pretty to only be worth fifty grand, don’t you think, Sean?”

“What are you saying?” he said from the other line.

“I’m saying we should double the prize. A hundred thousand dollars for your one and only,” he spoke loudly as if he was making an announcement. “Sounds fair to me.”

The room was suddenly silent. Would Sean give up on you?

“Fine,” he said, taking you by surprise. “A hundred thousand dollars. Tell me the place and I’ll bring them to you.”

Part 10

ivy tag list:

@preciousbabypeter @buckysmainhxe @galaxyofmyown @ssamorganhotchner @romanogersendgame @elhotchner @louderfortheback @northschild @iammirrorball @rousethemouse @kishie8 @save-the-sky @ssacharcoalgrey @realdirectionx @itsmytimetoodream @art-and-thoughts @red-red-rogue @dellalyra @feetgypsy @stella95827 @katieslotherford @jazzymariexoxoc @quietlyignoringyou @justarandommom @sebastiansstanswhore @lelifesaver @aaron-hotchners-girlfriend @whyamihere96 @sylvieofasgard @redbleedingrose @222brooke @xoprincessmel @girlintheredscarf @radical-gecko @yeehawbitchs @jazzerbelle14 @jayxox @adrienette715 @fudosl @sardonic-courtney @emlynblack @kizzywh @formulapierre @crocodilefeet2707 @mojo366 @spicysimpura @twelfthnightorwhatyouwill1998

#aaron hotchner #hotch #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #sean hotchner x reader #hotch 🪐 #ivy

[starlitangels]

The Sweet Dreams Mug

Remember this thing, where I singlehandedly gave half the fandom feels over a fictional mug? Well, I couldn’t help myself. The brotherly brainrot is rotting bad y’all 1.9k words

—

“Aaron, why don’t you use this mug? It’s cute,” I said, climbing off the counter carefully. The purple ceramic in my hand was kept safe. “I mean, the handle’s been glued but otherwise—”

“Put that back,” Aaron said shortly. Not quite a snap, but almost.

I smiled. “Why? Was it some ex’s that you were too attached to and couldn’t bring yourself to get rid of?” I teased.

A vein pulsed in his temple. “No. Just put it back,” he growled. “Now.”

This was beyond his usual grumpy attitude. This was something serious. I could tell by the look on his face. Aaron was a serious guy in general—that was what made it so fun and easy to push his buttons. But this was different. There was almost fear on his face. Something I couldn’t tease about.

When I didn’t immediately reply or move, Aaron crossed the kitchen in three quick strides. I didn’t resist as he took the mug from my hand. I stepped aside as he reached to put it back where I found it. In the back corner of the top shelf of the cupboard he kept his mugs and cups in. I watched silently as he gently tucked it back into its spot. He fell back down onto his heels with a sigh. I swallowed. “I’m sorry,” I said. Not entirely sure what I was sorry for.

He shook his head. “You didn’t know. It’s not your fault.” His eyes met mine. Grey-blue and usually sharp as steel. I opened my mouth but no sound came out. He sucked in a deep breath. “It’s my brother’s,” he admitted. “We haven’t spoken in a while. The mug is one of the few good memories we have together. My parents adopted him when I was four and he was an infant. He dropped and broke the mug when he was six. I took our dad’s super glue and put the handle back on as best I could. I was ten so it obviously kinda sucked. But he loved that mug, so I had to fix it for him. If only just to get him to stop crying.” He cleared his throat. “He looked at me like I was his hero after I put the handle back on. For something that simple. It’s… one of my best memories with him.” His smile was soft as he looked past me. “When I moved out for college, he slipped it into one of the boxes when I wasn’t looking. I’ve never used it. Just when he came to visit. Which…” He sighed, face falling. “Elliott’s visits were rare. We drifted apart when he was sixteen and I was twenty. So when he was old enough to make the drive himself, he wasn’t going to. I offered to give the mug back but he always says no.”

Aaron cleared his throat and shook his head to clear it.

“I don’t know why I told you that but… thanks for listening,” he added.

I held my arms out, offering a hug. He surprised me by actually folding into my arms without protest or grouching. “You needed to tell someone,” I said. “I imagine you’ve held onto those feelings for a long time with no relief. Helps to get it all off your chest, I imagine.”

He nodded into my shoulder. “It does help. I love my brother but… it’s my fault we drifted.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“He… he tried to tell me something. About himself. Something I guess I just… didn’t want to hear. Wasn’t ready for it, maybe. I kinda… shut down around him, after that. Cut him off. He responded in kind, and he was well within his rights to do so.” Aaron drew in a deep breath. “It’s my fault. That mug would have gotten a lot more use since I moved here if I hadn’t—”

“None of that,” I interrupted. “We can’t change the past. All we can do is make do and make peace with the choices we’ve already made. You and your brother already hurt each other—a long time ago. Now, all you can do is accept that and decide what to do about it. Stay apart and keep hurting? Or get to see each other again and start to heal? You both have to make that choice, Aaron.”

—

CRASH!

Aaron jolted and looked up from his homework. The sound of Elliott crying rose from the kitchen.

Leaping away from his little desk, he ran out of his room and rushed down the hall and careened down the stairs. “Eli!” he shouted. He whirled around the corner and looked into the kitchen.

Elliott was kneeling on the kitchen counter, face red and already stained with tears. The mug he’d pulled out of the cupboard was broken on the hardwood floor. The mug itself was intact, but the handle had broken off completely, and broken in half. Elliott’s sniffles and sobs were the only sound in the house while Aaron stared with a slack jaw.

Elliott’s dark, purplish eyes met Aaron’s. “I broke it,” he said. “M-Mom is gonna throw it out. I don’t want Mom to throw it out!” He sobbed harder.

Aaron bent over and picked up the three pieces the mug had broken into. “Hey, hey,” he said soothingly, setting the mug bits on the counter. “It’s okay, Eli. Mom won’t throw it out.”

“Y-yes she will!” Elliott hiccuped on a sob. “I-it’s broken!” He buried his face in his hands and rubbed his eyes.

“She’ll keep it if it’s not broken.” Aaron wrapped his arms around Elliott and lifted him off the counter. “C’mon. Hop down. It’s gonna be okay, Eli.” Waddling a little, considering how tall Elliott was compared to him, Aaron took Elliott to the other side of the kitchen before setting him down. He took his baby brother’s hand and pulled him down into the basement of the house—where their dad’s office was.

Elliott was still sniffling and crying as Aaron let his hand go in the doorway and started rifling through their dad’s desk. He combed through the drawers of boring papers that meant nothing to him until he found the drawer that had supplies in it.

“There it is…” Aaron muttered—with a minor amount of glee in his tone. He turned around, holding the brightly-colored tube out in one hand toward his brother. “Ta-da! Come on!” He took Elliott’s hand in his free one and took him back upstairs to the kitchen. Elliott was still crying, but the sobs were tapering off a little. Turning into quiet sniffles and hiccups.

Back in the kitchen, Aaron parked Elliott next to the counter. Elliott was too short to see the countertop, so Aaron reached up and picked up the three pieces of the mug before setting them on the floor.

“Careful. Don’t step on these. The edges are sharp,” Aaron warned. He turned and pulled a paper towel off the roller stand next to the sink before turning back and setting the paper towel on the floor. Then he pushed Elliott’s shoulders until his baby brother was sitting on the floor opposite the paper towel and mug pieces from where he was going to sit. Elliott hiccuped and wiped his eyes again. Aaron sat across from him and drew the mug pieces onto the paper towel.

Elliott watched in quiet sniffles as Aaron stuck his tongue out in concentration and picked up the two pieces of the mug’s handle. Narrowing his eyes to focus, he squeezed a bit of super glue out of the tube he’d grabbed from their dad’s desk directly onto a broken piece of the purple handle.

He did his best to keep the pieces even as he pressed them together. A bit of the super glue oozed out of one of the sides. Aaron lifted a finger to make sure he wouldn’t get it on his skin. His dad had warned him not to glue his fingers to anything.

Elliott watched with wide, wet eyes.

Once the handle was relatively back in one piece and intact, Aaron handed the mug to Elliott, the broken stumps where the handle could reattach straight up. “Hold this still, okay?”

Elliott nodded.

Aaron put more glue on either stump and put the handle on top of it—being very careful of the joint where the two pieces of the handle were fused together—after carefully inspecting which end reattached where. Elliott stared as Aaron held the handle still as the super glue quickly dried.

They held it there for a little bit, together. Making sure it was held still so it would have the best chance of being fixed. “Stop squirming,” Aaron said quietly.

“B-but—”

“It’s gonna be fine, Eli. Just hold still.”

Elliott didn’t stop squirming, but Aaron figured out how to reflect his movements so they moved together and held the mug still.

Aaron took the mug from his brother’s hands when he was fairly sure the glue had dried and set it up on the counter. He dragged Elliott over to the counter’s barstools and pointed. “Sit,” he said. Elliott sat, wiping the last of his tears off his eyes.

Aaron went to the fridge and pulled the door open. “Do you want hot chocolate or apple juice?” He looked over his shoulder at his brother.

Elliott pointed to the jug of chocolate milk. “Hot chocolate,” he said.

With considerable effort, given the gallon jug was still full, Aaron hefted it out of the fridge and over to the counter, where he set it down with a thud before unscrewing the cap. Carefully, he lifted the purple mug up to the opening and tilted them both together so the mug would catch any spills. He filled it as much as he thought was safe before putting the chocolate milk away and taking the newly-repaired mug to the microwave. He set it inside and set the timer.

Elliott still looked a little weepy, so Aaron gave him a hug. “It’s gonna be okay, Eli. Mom’s not gonna throw out your mug. Promise.”

Elliott nodded, putting his arms around his big brother and holding on tight. “Thanks Aaron.”

“Hey, what are big brothers for, right?”

Through the mesh of the microwave glass on the door, they watched the mug spin. The “Sweet Dreams” written in metallic gold cursive and gold stars embedded in the ceramic glinted in the light from inside the microwave whenever it spun into view.

Aaron pushed a hand through Elliott’s messy curls. “It’s okay, Eli. I’ve got you. You’re okay. It’s gonna be fine,” he said quietly.

Their mom came inside from visiting the neighbors fifteen minutes later to her sons laughing, sharing a mug of hot chocolate. She didn’t even notice the lingering redness in the whites of Elliott’s eyes.

—

Aaron stared out the living room window at the front yard. Elliott had called for the first time in years, asking to come over. What was he even doing in Dahlia? Something was wrong—but he wouldn’t say what. Aaron chewed on his lower lip, looking as far down the street as the window would allow, waiting for his brother to show up. What’s wrong, Eli?

His partner stood at his side, one arm around his waist, following his line of sight but saying nothing.

It’s gonna be okay, Eli. I’ve got you. You’re gonna be okay. I promise.

What are big brothers for?

#Redacted ASMR #fic #Redacted Aaron #Redacted Elliott #Aaron #Elliott #Redacted Audio #Starlit Fic

[andreafmn]

12 Days of Ficmas - Day 10

Prompt (by @12-days-of-ficmas): fighting while setting up the christmas tree/soft emo reconciliation

Word Count: 2.9K

Story Description: (Y/N) understood how hard Aaron worked, and everything that his job entailed. But when life starts to happen without him around, she can't help but feel scared that his job is taking things that can never be replaced.

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Female!Reader

Warnings: whole lotta angst, also pregnancy trope (oops)

A/N: I'm all caught up!!

Follow 😊 -> TikTok • Instagram • Business

If you’d like to be tagged in 12 days of ficmas, let me know in the comments. 

For any other story: click here

Here’s the 12 days of Ficmas schedule: click me

<-Previous | Next ->

Keeping Promises

Working in the BAU was taxing work, and (Y/N) understood that. It called for long hours, traumatizing cases, and a lot of time away. Being part of the behavioral analysis unit meant sacrificing moments with loved ones, missing child milestones, and looking over holidays. All of that (Y/N) understood – she always understood.

Since she met the unit’s chief, she had learned just how much being a special agent took from a person. Aaron Hotchner had missed anniversaries, birthdays, parent-teacher conferences, and many other dates to count. But, of course, she acknowledged how hard it was they worked to keep people they didn’t know safe.

Still, she couldn’t help but get irritated from time to time. It was frustrating to have to tell Jack that his father wasn’t gonna be home for many of the days the little boy deemed special – his soccer games, his spring recital, his camp graduation. It was frustrating to get ready for dates that would never happen. It was frustrating to have to live their family life for the two of them.

“Hotch, we were supposed to pick out the tree by last week, and have it all decorated for this weekend,” (Y/N) spoke into her phone since it was the only way she could communicate with her husband. “You promised Jack we would have you home for Christmas this year, that we would do everything we haven’t in a very long time.”

“Look, (Y/N), I told you it wasn’t a sure thing that we’d be done with this case. I know I told him that I would be home, but I can’t just leave in the middle of work,” Hotchner argued. He knew he was hurting his family, the same thing he had done years ago and had vowed not to do again. “Just get a tree and we’ll decorate it when I come back.”

“Baby, you can’t keep doing this. He was so excited to have you home this weekend. You can’t keep making promises like this to him and not seeing them through. It’s gonna break the poor kid.”

“What do you want me to do, (Y/N)?” Hotch said, exasperation clearly laced in his words. “I can’t be in two places at once, okay? You knew this when you married me. I have a demanding enough job for you to be pestering me about it every single time I miss something.”

“So, that’s how it’s gonna be then?” the woman said trying to hold back tears. “Just one time, Aaron. I was just asking for this one time for you to be here. I understand that your job keeps you away and I’ve always been fine with it. But Jack misses you. He wanted his father here and he won’t be. Sorry that I had to try one more time before I broke the news to the kid.”

“Honestly, (Y/N), you’re starting to sound just like Hal....” Aaron stopped himself as soon as the words left his mouth. He knew how hard she tried to not push him as his late wife had. “(Y/N), wait…”

“Goodbye, Aaron.”

(Y/N) hung up the phone quickly, allowing herself to let the tears flow freely. She was hurt, she was angry, and she was defeated. She didn’t want to bother her husband about his job, she knew how important it was to him. But she simply wanted to give Jack a Christmas with his father and his mother figure together, at least once. If she couldn’t do it for the boy, what chance did the one that she had found out she was carrying have?

Instead of moping, she called up her brother and asked him if he could pick up a tree for her. He was the only one close enough that could.

“Do you think you could take Jack with you? I want him to be able to do Christmas-y things,” she told her brother Dean. “I would but I have horrible morning sickness and I can barely move from the bathroom as is.”

“Yeah, of course, I’ll take the little guy,” Dean chuckled. “But I don’t know how good they’ll be. It’s Christmas Eve Eve. I just can’t believe Aaron won’t be here for this.”

“D, don’t. Please,” (Y/N) sighed. “I already had a fight about it with him. I don’t want to think about it anymore.”

“Sorry, sis. I’ll come by in thirty to pick up Jack, alright?”

“Thanks, Dean. I really appreciate it.”

She went up the stairs to find little Jack in his bedroom drawing. The thing she dreaded the most was the sad gaze that fell upon him every time she had to tell him his father wouldn’t make it. But she would never badmouth his father to him – he was a hero.

“Hey, buddy. What’re you drawing there?”

“It’s a present for daddy,” he exclaimed. “This is you, daddy, and me decorating our tree. Isn’t it pretty?”

“Wow! It’s great, bud.” She had to hold back her tears again, not wanting the kid to be worried. “Jack, listen. Daddy’s not gonna be able to make it tonight like planned. But he has a case for you. You need to go with uncle Dean and you’re gonna pick out the best tree you can find – any tree you want. Make sure it’s big and pretty, okay?”

“Alright, I’m on it!” Excitement filled his voice; sure this is what was meant to happen.

The kid didn’t know any better yet. He still had high hopes for his father and thought he got sad when Aaron wasn’t there, he believed (Y/N) when she told him it was all part of a plan. He got ready quickly and told her all about the tree he was planning to get.

When his uncle got there, he was more than excited about going on his mission. (Y/N) zipped up his jacket, put his mittens on, and fixed the hat on his head. After she placed a kiss on his cold cheek, she helped him up into Dean’s truck.

“Okay, bud. Have a lot of fun with uncle Dean. I’ll see you when you get back,” she told him as she buckled him in his car seat. “Call me if you need anything.”

“Will do, momma,” he responded, kissing her cheek. “See you later.”

She waved goodbye as the pair rode out of the driveway. Soon after, she was on her knees in front of the toilet, barfing out what little she could eat for breakfast.

Alone in the house, her fears crept in again. What if she did have to raise Jack and the baby all by herself? What if one day she got the call that Hotch wasn’t coming back? In his line of work, anything could happen to Aaron – anytime and anyplace. It scared her. It gave her a crippling anxiety she could barely contain many days.

Hours passed and she went through a rollercoaster of emotions. At first, she was angry, then she was sad, then anxious, and finally angry again. She didn’t want to feel this way, but she couldn’t control it. Mainly it was the hormones but worrying over Hotchner often left her this way.

To distract her mind, she cleaned around the house, wrapped Jack’s presents, and cooked dinner. (Y/N) needed to focus on anything but Aaron or the baby. Because the more she thought about it, the more emotional she got.

By the time the boys came back to the house, (Y/N) was exhausted.

Jack ran into the house, the ball of energy he always was, and startled her. He was excited about the tree they had gotten and had not stopped talking since he stepped into the house. The boy plopped on the sofa right next to her, giving her a big hug as he continued his rambling.

Meanwhile, Dean struggled to pull the tree into the house. The tree was big enough and he was by himself. But with (Y/N)’s and Jack’s rooting, he was able to place it on the base and stabilize the trunk.

After they ate dinner and Dean left for his own place – with a bottle of whiskey as payment – (Y/N) readied Jack for bed. He was exhausted after a long and exciting day. As he kept talking about all they did, his eyes started to betray him, making his head bob.

“Do you think we could wait for daddy to do the tree?” Jack asked as he yawned.

“Well, honey, I’m not sure when he’s getting home,” she told him. “And tomorrow’s Christmas Eve so we won’t have much time to finish it.”

“I just want daddy to be here. We were going to do the tree together. He promised.”

“I know, buddy.” More tears. She bit down on her tongue so the liquid didn’t fall. She had to be strong, for Jack’s sake. “What if he comes in really late? You know you have to be asleep for Santa to leave your presents.”

“Well, you can do it then. But only if he comes in late. Promise?”

“I absolutely promise, darling,” she smiled down at him. “Good night, bud.”

“Night, momma.”

(Y/N) kissed his forehead and tucked him in, making sure he was warm for the night before turning off the light. She went to bed promptly after, a couple of tears in her eyes and ager swimming through her veins. Something told her Aaron wouldn’t be coming home on time.

***

The whole day.

Jack and (Y/N) were waiting the whole day for Aaron to walk through the doors, but he never did. She even went as far as to leave him a couple of angry voicemails on the phone. He simply didn’t come home.

Morning slowly shifted to night. And as snow packed onto the pavement outside, (Y/N)’s anger grew.

Time trickled by, and Jack grew more and more tired. As eleven o’clock rolled around, Jack was sound asleep on the couch. He had waited as long as he could for his dad to come home, but his body couldn’t take it.

Two more hours and (Y/N) heard movement outside. Headlights brightened the living room, Aaron’s car coming into view. As soon as it did, boiling anger crept over her. She put on a coat and went to meet her husband outside.

“Look, (Y/N)…” Aaron tried to start before his wife talked, but she beat him to the punch.

“No, Aaron. I’m tired of excuses. I’m tired of you saying that it’s your job. Tired of you going back on what you say to save other people. Meanwhile, I am doing my absolute best to keep this family together,” she sobbed. “You told me you had taken those days off to be here with Jack. That’s all he wanted for Christmas, he wanted his father to be here. But you couldn’t help it, could you?  You still took another case. You couldn’t keep your promise, Aaron.”

“(Y/N), I know. I just…”

“Daddy!” Jack interrupted them, running into his father’s arms. “I knew you would make it.”

“Of course, buddy. I tried really hard to get here on time, but work held me back.”

“That’s okay,” the boy smiled. “We can do the tree now.”

“Honey, it’s a little late to be up,” (Y/N) told him. “But tomorrow we’ll all be together to open Santa’s present.”

“But I wanna stay up!”

“Jack, listen to your mom. We’ll do it next year, okay?”

“Okay!” The boy extended his arms to (Y/N), asking her to carry him inside.

She quickly obliged and put the kid in his bed. After going over their night routine, the woman headed downstairs. Her brows were furrowed and her arms crossed against her chest. If Hotchner couldn’t read her body language, he had no business being in his job.

But she didn’t talk. When she got downstairs and they started putting up the decorations, she didn’t say a single word. Instead, she worked around Aaron, who had rolled his sleeves and loosened his tie as he helped her. Or at least tried to.

Every time he placed an ornament out of place, (Y/N) would scoff or grunt in annoyance. Soon enough, he was growing tired of the silly game. It was childish and ineffective, he thought but didn’t dare say a word. He had screwed up. She had a right to be mad.

As he picked up a specific ornament, he was meant with another sound of disapproval.

“What now?” he said annoyed.

“That ornament is Haley’s,” she said, “Jack likes to put it at his height so he can look at it every time he stands in front of the tree.”

“I… I didn’t know.”

“I know you didn’t, Aaron. That’s because you’re never here to see these kinds of things. You didn’t know he likes to put all of his mother’s ornaments where he can see them; that he only asked Santa for a full day with his dad; he even drew a goddamn picture of how he wanted today to go,” she finally said. “That’s why he wanted you here. Because there are things he wants to do with you and show you, but he can’t. You’re missing out on him.”

“And I wish I could be here all the time, (Y/N), but I can’t. I can’t just decide today’s not good for me,” he responded. “Don’t you think it hurts me to miss those moments with him? That I wouldn’t trade it all for a day with him? But my work needs me.

“Your family needs you too!” She tried her best to keep her voice down, worried she’d wake the kid. But her emotions were taking over her, tears stinging her eyes. “We need you too, Aaron.”

“Where is this coming from? You’ve never been this pushy about my work. It makes no sense.”

“Because I’m scared!”

“Of what, (Y/N)?”

“That one day you won’t come home,” she sobbed. “I’m terrified every time you walk out that door; every time you don’t pick up your phone; every time you are SSA Hotchner, I am terrified. I don’t want to wake up one day and receive the call that you’re gone. Because I can’t do any of this without you, Aaron. I can’t raise a family without you – I don’t want to.

I know you love your job and I get the risk that comes with it – which is why I try my best not to bother you about it. But things have changed and your job can’t be the biggest thing in your life. You are not your job, Aaron.”

“What do you mean, darling? What has changed?”

“I’m pregnant.”

Aaron couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Everything was finally clicking into place. But he couldn’t find the right words to say as he processed the information he was given.

“Please, say something, Aaron. Anything.”

“God, I am so sorry, (Y/N).” He wrapped her in a tight hug, one hand on her neck and the other on the small of her waist. He needed to hold her and let her know he was there for her. “I shouldn’t have taken the case, you’re right. And I shouldn’t have said those stupid things I said. I should’ve kept my promise, but I couldn’t help myself. It’s hard for me to release control, and when the case fell on my desk I ignored my free days and went to Sacramento; I’m so sorry.

I know it must be hard to have to care for Jack, and now finding out you’re pregnant. I’m sorry I haven’t been here enough for you, darling.”

“I’m not asking you to give up your job, honey,” she cried into his chest. “I simply want for you to be more present. To be in your son’s life, to be in this baby’s life… in mine. That’s all we want.”

“And I will try harder at it, (Y/N). I swear I will.” Hotch was crying now, holding (Y/N)’s jaw with both of his hands to stare into her eyes. “I don’t want you to feel alone anymore. I don’t want to see Jack’s life through a video lens, much less this baby’s. Starting today, I promise you – and this time I intend to keep it – that I will be more present in our family. I can’t lose you either, darling.”

Aaron wiped away her tears before placing a kiss on her lips. It was a touch they needed, a touch they missed. Being away didn’t hurt one of them more than the other. It hurt them both.

“So, you’re pregnant?” Aaron chuckled as he wiped his tears away. When she nodded, he smiled brightly at her. “I’m gonna be a dad again.”

“You are, honey,” (Y/N) finally smiled. “But right now, we have to finish up this damn tree and put the presents under the tree.”

“Well, I know I’ve got the best present already. And I will do everything I can to guard it with my life.”

Taglist: @winter-soldier-101 @zheezs14 @DyslexicCatterpillar @cevans-winchester @bluetreecloud20 @Valejewel @sunsetcurvej @sapnapsbandana @lilozg-123 @esposadomd @nocturnalherb16 @Six-Call @Yuki254 @AKG40 @nyenye @captainrogers-19 @beckiej0073-blog @cecehensonn @catgirlpwr @ilikepunsbeth @magimtz23 @adaydreamaway08 @hufflepuffobsessedwithmarvel @sugasthreedollarkookie @fandomonetwo

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotch #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotchangst #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fic #aaron hotchner smut #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #parental aaron hotchner #christmas #12 days of ficmas #12 days of christmas #angst #hurt/comfort #pregnancy #pregnancy trope #fan fiction #fanfiction #fanfic #andreafmn #like #follow #reblog #comment

[ameliaalvarez06]

hi<3

can u write about the twins getting into a big argument and the reader and Jack tries to get them to get back on good terms the whole day?

Sorry

a/n: this is my first request, was kinda nervous ngl but i hope you like it. also sorry I took so long to get it out, I just finished my finals today. 😭 I did tweak your prompt a little and if this isn’t what you had an mind you could always send me a message of what you wanted exactly, I don’t mind <3 (not revised)

“We don’t want to play with you, Mar. It’s a boy thing only so leave us alone and get out of the room….you’re being annoying! you’ve been following us all day” Aaron yelled at Amara. Jack had just bought him a little racing track so he had begged for you to plan a play date with his friends from school so they could test it out. Amara was use to being the first person Aaron shared his new things with so it hurt that he hadn’t asked her first, but what truly hurt her the most now was that her brother had yelled at her. Bickering was an everyday thing with them but they had never actually gotten into an argument where they said or did something to hurt one another.

“Fine, I didn’t want to play with your dumb toy anyways” Amara said kicking one of his toy cars, breaking some parts off. She made her way out the play room but not before sending Aaron and his friends a smile and a cheerful bye.

The one thing about Amara was that she didn’t like showing people when she was hurt, expressing her feeling through words rather than keeping it bottled up was something you guys had been trying to teach her.

She made her way to the back yard where you and Jack sat around the bonfire pit talking with some of the other parents.

“Hey baby, everything ok?” Jack asked Amara as she climbed onto his lap.

“yeah, i’m just tired” she lied snuggling into his chest.

“you sure everything’s ok Mar, do you feel sick?” you ask as you feel her forehead to see if she was warm.

“i’m ok, mommy” she said once more but you knew something was off. You didn’t want to pressure her into saying anything especially in-front of everyone so you decided to wait until they left which wasn’t very long since it was getting kind of late.

“alr missy. want to tell me what’s actually wrong now?” you ask her as you carry her inside after picking up.

“it’s nothing mommy, I promise” she said shoving her face into the your neck.

“can I sleep with you and daddy tonight, please” she said lifting her head up to give you those big blue puppy eyes, you couldn’t say no to.

“of course, baby. you wanna have a movie night?” you ask her.

“yess, can we please watch The Princess Diaries?”

“sure, i don’t think Aaron will want to watch that tho. let’s go get him and see” you laugh putting her down.

“no, I don’t want him there. just you, me and daddy”

“why don’t you want him there?” you ask looking down at her.

“just. I want to spend time with only you and daddy” she says crossing her arms.

Jack walks into the living room and notices Amara’s frown.

“what’s going on here?” Jacks asks walking up to you guys. “why do you have a stink face?”

“she wants to sleep with us” you say.

“what’s the problem with that” he asks confused.

“she doesn’t want Aaron there” you tell him making his face go from confused to surprised since the twins had never asked to do anything where they had to be apart from each other.

“why is that, baby?” Jack asks Amara squatting next to her. He noticed her eyes getting glossy.

“I don’t want to talk about it, daddy. can we just please go watch a movie together” she asks letting out a sigh.

“we can but we have to ask your brother too. it’s not nice if we leave him out” Jack explains to her.

“alright” she says embracing jack into a hug so he could pick her up. You and Jack share a look while walking up stairs, you both knew something happened between them but you couldn’t possibly think of a reason why.

knock knock knock

“hey buddy can we come in?”Jack asks knocking on the twins shared bedroom. There was no response so jack knocked once more before opening the door slowly. To your guys surprise Aaron was tucked in and asleep in his bed or so you thought. Aaron had actually heard Amara say that she didn’t want him there for the movie night which really hurt him. He had felt bad for yelling at his sister but he didn’t think she wouldnt want to be around him anymore. He wanted to go apologize but he was too hurt; when he heard that you guys were going up to ask him to have a movie night, he decided to go back to their bedroom and pretend to be alseep since he knew that his sister didn’t want him there.

“A guess it’s just us three tonight” Amara says looking at you and jack. You both take turns saying you’re good nights to Aaron then head toward your guys room.

———————

Next morning

“morning daddy. morning mommy” Amara said as she got out from under the bed sheets.

“good morning” you chuckle, looking at her crazy bed head.

“morning, sunshine. why you up so early?” Jack says pulling her down embracing her in a big hug.

“can we please go to Disney today?” she says giving Jack her puppy eyes and a pout “you promised me that when you came back from your last show we would go.”

Jack looks over to you, causing Amara to do the same.

“can we please go mommy! I’ll give you 1000 kisses and cuddles whenever you want. I’ll even give you massage” you laugh at her negotiation.

“alright, you convinced me”

“yayyy thank you. thank you” “I’ll start now” she says getting away from Jack and jumping onto you attacking you with kisses.

“ok silly girl, let’s go get your brother” you say making her face drop into a frown.

“what is it Mar, did something happen with Aaron yesterday? remember what we said about keeping our feelings inside” Jack asked.

Amara nodded and as soon as she opened her mouth to finally tell jack why she was upset with her brother there was a knock on the door.

“come in” you say. “good morning” Aaron says making his way to the bed, Amara moved back into Jack lap.

“good morning” you smile at him.

“good morning, buddy” Jack says.

Amara just looked at him with a sadden expression and said nothing.

“Amara what do you say when you’re told good morning” you ask.

“morning” she says looking down.

“alright, what’s going on between you guys?”

Both the twin now sat in-front of you and jack on the bed, looking down trying to avoid eye contact.

“who’s going to start?” you ask.

“l-I said some mean things to Mar yesterday, but I promise I didn’t mean it” Aaron says, his lips quivering as he gets a little emotional. He looks over to Amara, making her start crying.

“now why would you do that, baby?” you ask him.

“she kept following us and asking if she could play with my race track” he said.

“that’s no reason to say mean things Aaron” Jack tells him a sternly tone.

“i know” he said looking down.

“he yelled at me and said I was annoying daddy. it hurt my feelings” Amara said now sobbing into jacks chest.

“and you hurt mine when you told mommy that you didn’t want me with you guys for movie night yesterday” Aaron said now crying.

“you were awake?” he nodded, moving himself to cry into your chest.

“alright, neither of the things you guys said or did yesterday were ok and now your both hurt. do you guys think your ready to apologize to each other or do you guys need more time?” you ask them.

Both the twins pull back from your guys chest and they turn to look at each other. “i’m ready” they both sob out at the same time, making them giggle though their tears.

“I’m sorry Mar for not sharing and yelling at you. I promise you’re not really that annoying” he says making Amara playfully glare at him, you all chuckle.

“Sorry for saying that I didn’t want you at movie night, I like having you there, you always make me laugh” she says sending her brother a smile which he returns.

“give me a hug, ugly” Amara tells him with open arms.

“Amara” you say giving her a look for the pet name she used.

“what i’m just playing” she giggles. Aaron crawls over to her and embraces her into a hug and starts tickling her. “stoppp” she laughs.

“Alright, now that you guys are best friends again, it’s time to go get ready so we can head out.” you tell them.

“where are we going?” Aaron asks confused.

“we’re going to Disney” Amara replied excitedly.

“really?” Aaron asked with wide eyes.

“Yes. now go get ready” Jack says chuckling.

The twins jump off the bed and run to their room excitedly.

“Walk” you yell out.

You turn to Jack and he’s already looking at you.

“You can give me my morning kiss now” he says poking his lips out, you chuckle and make your way to his side of the bed.

You give him a quick peck on the lips and pull away to get up “no what the hell was that, I need a real one” he says pulling you back down so you layed on on top of him.

“ I need to go help the twins get ready. I don’t want to leave too late” you tell him.

“yes we’ll go after a real kiss” you shake your head but lean down to give him an actual kiss anyways. He flips you guys around so he was now on top, trapping your body under him so he could deepen the kiss; you guys were having a full on make out session at this point. Jack began kissing down you neck but as much as you were enjoying this you knew you had to stop him.

“as much as really want to continue this, we have to go get ready” you tell him out of breathe.

“we have the pass. we can literally get there at any time and still enjoy a few rides” he says.

“no we promised them a whole day there, plus we go back to Louisville in two week so this will be our last time going for a couple months. (They have a home in California and Kentucky)

“fine let’s go” he says playfully rolling his eyes.

You and jack make your way over to the twins room but stop at the door frame, they didn’t notice you guys there.

“You know we never actually got to play with the track, I was too upset about the car so I asked if they just wanted to play with legos. If you want we can try it out tomorrow. I have exactly four cars so we can all play”

“yeah! also thanks for not telling on me about the car. ”

“your welcome. I was pretty mean yesterday, so i’m sorry, again” Aaron said looking at his sister

“it’s ok, I was mean. too”

“even?” Aaron asks her.

“yeah” Amara says laughing “I love you.”

“love you too” Aaron replies giggling and embracing his sister in another hug.

You stand there with tears in your eyes seeing how fast they were growing. The twins hear your small sniffles and turn to the door.

“mommy, whats wrong?” they ask you. “nothing it’s just that you guys are growing up so fast” you tell them squatting down to their height.

“come here” you tell them and they run into your arms. You give them a tight hug then pull away. “we really need to start getting ready now. let’s go start a bath.” “we filled the tub already, we just had to wait for you” Aaron said.

“okay thanks for waiting, you guys can go in. we’ll be there in a minute” you tell them.

The twins make their way to bathroom, bickering about what bubble scent they wanted.

You turn to Jack and pull him into a hug. “I think I want to start trying again. you trying put another baby in me, Harlow?” He looks down at you with a huge smile, he had wanted to start trying again since the twins turned two but you didn’t feel prepared at the time.

“I can do that” he smirks. “you think your mom can watch them tonight? We have to finish what we started earlier” he whined making you laugh.

“yeah i’ll call her” you saying getting on your tip toes to give him a quick kiss. Jack tried moving his hands from the small of your back to your ass but you pushed them always since the twins were technically in the same room.

“stop. go shower, while I finish bathing the twins” you say pulling away. “I want to come back home as soon as possible” you tell him.

“how about I help you get them ready; we’ll put a movie on for them then we go shower together” he says smirking again.

“we’re not conceiving our child in the shower”

“whats wrong with that , if I recall that’s where the twins were conceived”

“no, they weren’t idiot”

“they weren’t? where we’re the conceived then?” he asked teasingly. He knew exactly where and when, he just loved seeing how you got all red and flustered when he brought it up.

“go shower” you tell him pushing him out the room.

“alright. alright” he throws both his hands up “I love when you get all feisty” he saying smacking your ass while biting his lip.

You shake your head and make your way to the bathroom, with a huge grin. The thought of carrying another one of his children made your heart swell, he was truly the best father and husband anyone could ask for, you couldn’t get any luckier.

#jack harlow #jackman harlow #jack harlow imagine #jackman thomas harlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x you #dad!jack

[themetaphorgirl]

I asked @fragolinaa what I should write, and she suggested something with Spencer and Haley, so this is for Maeve!

———

“I want to go with you,” Spencer whined.

Alex adjusted the covers around him. “I know, but you’re sick,” she repeated patiently.

“I’m not that sick,” he wheedled, tilting his chin up to look at her.

“Nope, nope, don’t try to use the puppy dog eyes, it’s not going to work,” Aaron said. “You can’t come along to my doctor’s appointment if you’re feeling well. And besides, you’d just have to sit in the waiting room with James.” Spencer stuck his lower lip out in a pout; Alex kissed his forehead.

“We’ll only be gone a few hours,” James said. “And Haley will be here in case you need anything.”

Haley hovered in the back of the room. She had babysat a million times before, she had taken care of her own younger sister so many times she’d lost count, but this was different. This was a test. If Aaron’s sister and little brother didn’t approve of her, it was going to make the whole “get Aaron Hotchner to ask me out” thing so much more difficult.

“Keep your phone close by, you can text us if you need us,” Aaron said. He ran a hand over Spencer’s hair. “Get some rest. Try to take a nap.”

“I’m not going to.”

“All right, then.”

Alex beckoned Haley to follow them out of the room. “He’s going to take a nap,” she said as soon as James closed the door.

“I don’t know, he sounded pretty convincing,” Haley said.

“Oh, he will,” Aaron said. “The trick is getting him distracted so he’s not trying to force himself to stay awake.”

“And he’ll try,” Alex added.

Haley looked from one twin to the other. “Is…is there like, a trick to it?” she said. “Something I should try?”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Alex said. “We’ll be gone maybe three hours, it shouldn’t be too bad. Let us know if you need anything, though.”

Aaron smiled at her and squeezed her arm lightly. “Thanks for watching him for us,” he said. “Everyone else was busy, so you’re a lifesaver.”

“You’re welcome,” she said, gazing up into his dark eyes.

“Let’s go, we might hit traffic,” Alex said. She glanced back over her shoulder as she and James walked with Aaron down the hall and waved goodbye. Haley waved back awkwardly.

Oh, this is definitely a test, she thought.

She went back into Aaron’s room and paused in the doorway. Spencer was sitting up in bed, tucked in snugly, his arms crossed and his lower lip still sticking out in a pout. They sized each other up.

“Hey, sweetie,” she said. “I’m sorry your tummy hurts.”

Spencer rolled his eyes. “I have a stomachache and a low grade fever, I think I’ll live,” he said. “I’m nine, you don’t have to talk to me like I’m a baby.”

“Oh,” Haley said. “Uh…sorry.” She shifted her weight. “Do you want to watch a movie or something?”

He held up a hefty hardback. “I have a book,” he said. “I don’t really need a babysitter, you know. They just wanted someone to stay with me so I wasn’t by myself.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s fine,” she said. “Totally. I’ll just…hang out with you until they get back.”

She sat down at Aaron’s desk and unzipped her backpack as Spencer opened his book. This wasn’t the first time she had had to win over an unimpressed babysitting charge- although granted, this was the first time she was babysitting a nine year old freshman deeply engrossed in a copy of Les Miserables in the original French.

(It was, however, the second time she had tried to impress a younger sibling of a cute boy. But that was when she was in eighth grade, and the cute boy turned out to be a dick, so that didn’t count. This counted.)

Haley pulled her Nintendo Switch out of her backpack. She had a couple different plans in mind, just in case, but this seemed like the best one.

The game chirped as it came to life, and she focused on playing while she watched Spencer out of the corner of her eye. At first he seemed not to notice, but after a round or two she caught him watching her from behind his book.

“What are you playing?” he asked finally.

Haley held it up, feigning surprise. “Oh, just Mario Kart,” she said. “Is it too loud? I can turn it down.”

Spencer chewed thoughtfully on his thumbnail. “No, it’s okay,” he said, but she could see the interest in his hazel eyes.

“I can hook it up to Aaron’s TV if you want to watch,” she suggested. “Or if you’d like to play.”

“I don’t really play video games,” Spencer said. “I’ve never played them before, and the bigger kids are all better than me. I’m not very good.”

Haley leaned towards him. “I’ll let you in on a little secret,” she whispered. “I’m not very good either. You might actually beat me.”

Spencer hesitated, but she saw a hint of a smile pulling on his lips. “I might be persuaded to attempt it,” he said.

Thank you, Penelope, Haley thought fervently as she set up the game system. The younger girl had given her a list of hints when she heard she was going to be watching Spencer for the afternoon- but only after she made Haley promise she could give a toast at the wedding when she and Aaron got married.

Spencer lied. It wasn’t that he wasn’t very good at video games. He was horrible. Haley kept her best poker face as he kept running off the road and getting stuck, and offered him advice and help when he asked for it. She knew she was winning him over when he handed her the controller and asked her to help him get unstuck.

True to their word, the other kids came back within three hours. Haley had moved back to sit at Aaron’s desk to work on her homework, and she tapped her finger to her lips as the door opened. “He’s sleeping,” she whispered.

“You got him to take a nap?” Aaeon whispered back as Alex bent over Spencer and kissed his forehead.

“Oh, it was easy,” she said. “Mario Kart wore him out completely. He fell asleep with the controller in his hand, I just tucked him in and he’s been out like a light.”

James raised an eyebrow. “Video games?” he said. “Who knew.”

Aaron smiled at her. “Thanks for watching him,” he said, and she could see the relief in his expression.

Alex adjusted Spencer’s blankie against his shoulder and smoothed the covers over him. “I’m so tired,” she said. “I’d kill for a latte. Would you guys mind doing a coffee run?”

“Yeah, I’ll-“ James started to say. Haley caught the look Alex shot him. “Can you get me a raspberry mocha?”

Aaron hadn’t seemed to catch on to their silent conversation. “Yeah, no problem,” he said. “Let’s go, Haley.”

Haley grabbed her jacket from the back of the chair. “Thank you,” she mouthed to Alex. Alex shot her a grin back.

#caitlin writes things #criminal minds fanfiction #boarding school au #au: patron saint of lost causes #Spencer Reid #aaron hotchner #hotch #Alex Blake #James Blake #Haley Hotchner #Haley brooks #patron saint: wonder twins #wow i love maeve #the Lucy to my Susan

[dancingqueen0019]

4th of July: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Author���s Note: I’ve debated posting a Blurb for Aaron Hotchner for this Holiday for a few reasons. Some people enjoy celebrating this Holiday, while others don’t. Whatever your reasoning is, I respect it and I ask that my fellow readers respect that as well. This Blurb will hold neutral stances on topics and will strictly focus on the firework aspect of the 4th.  I’ll also add something to my Masterlist as well. 

With being friends with lots of active Military members, you quickly learn a couple of lessons. 

Everything can become a party

Have a fire extinguisher (or two) on the ready

I had invited Aaron out to a friend’s lakehouse to have a BBQ and light off some fireworks on the boat dock. He gladly accepted since Jack would be with his Aunt this year and he needed to get out of his apartment for a bit. The both of us headed out in his car already dressed up in 4th of July regalia. I had on blue jean shorts and a flag printed tank top while he had on black shorts and a red polo. 

The drive out there was quicker than I imagined, and it probably was since I was holding cold food that needed to be put back in a fridge ASAP. Aaron’s hand rested on my thigh during the whole trip and would occasionally give a squeeze here and there. 

By the time we had arrived, everyone was ready for dinner. Aaron helped me get the food to the buffet before leaving to grab a beer and start chatting with his new friends he’s made over the past few months. Anytime I hung out with my brother and his friends, I always tried to make sure that Aaron was there for part of it. All of them mean a lot to me, so I want to make sure that everyone gets along. I hugged and waved to other people as the chorus of ‘hellos’ and ‘you finally made it’ echoed around the yard. 

Dinner went quickly and we eagerly drank and played yard games under the scorching sun. Once the sky was starting to set, some of the kids there started lighting up sparklers before being ushered by their parents to back away from the mountain of fireworks sitting on the dock. At this point, I was feeling pretty buzzed and Aaron had his fill of beer. We were planning on staying the night, but he didn’t want to overdrink tonight. We sat together in a circle with some other couples in lawn chairs and talked about our future plans. 

Suddenly a shrill filled the sky and a thunderous bang pounded into everyone’s chest. We all sat close enough to really feel, see, and hear the glorious light show. I nearly jumped out of my skin and a few people laughed at me before turning their attention to the continuous popping sound of fireworks. Aaron gave my leg a firm squeeze and silently stood, grabbed his beer, and walked towards the house. 

I peered over my shoulder and saw him walk in, figuring he was either using the restroom or grabbing something he left inside. I turned back around and enjoyed the show for another few minutes until I remembered that Aaron wasn’t back yet. Turning back around again I saw him standing in the window on the second floor with a new drink in hand. 

It dawned on me then that he only went inside because we were too close to the fireworks and his ears couldn’t take it. I wanted to kick myself in the butt for not suggesting we head inside together sooner. I leaned over to one of the wives and said that I would be heading in to check on a couple of things. She tried to politely convince me to stay but I told her that it was important. 

Once the back door shut behind me I quickly sprinted up the stairs and called out for Aaron. It was quiet enough in the house that he heard me from a long ways away. “Hey honey.” He said and extended his arm out to wrap around my waist. 

“Hi,” I panted out, “I came in to check on you. Ears doing okay?” I kissed his cheek and peered down into his cup. Aha, whiskey, I knew he would hit the hard stuff sooner or later. 

“Yeahh, they were starting to hurt and I don’t want to risk it if I don’t have to. I’m fine in here by myself if you want to head back out with your friends.” He looked out at the sky and his face was illuminated by the green and yellow flashes. I told him that I wanted to be with him. 

He shifted to stand behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. Our drinks were discarded onto the side table of the living room couch and we just stood there in silence. Every so often we would comment on how cool something looks or which firework was our favorite. Aaron turned my face to him and gently pressed his lips down onto mine as the finale of fireworks started. I pulled away slightly before reaching up to kiss him harder. 

Suddenly a large boom pulled us away and I let out a large gasp at the bright orange and yellow flames coming from the dock. Looks like there was a malfunction and the rest of the fireworks were burning on the dock. “Oh shit!” We say together with wide eyes. A bunch of the guys started running towards the fire and some found buckets to fill with lake water to extinguish the fire. 

The wives and girlfriends gathered the kids and sprinted into the house to keep them safe while Aaron and I just stood there. “Should we help??” He asked slowly and I shook my head, “Nah, let the idiots who thought this was a good idea figure out how to put it out.” 

He let out a laugh and kissed my head, “Oh I love you so much Y/N.”

#Aaron Hotch Hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #Criminal Minds #4th of july #fireworks #blurb

[safety-frog]

Your Weekly Tunes: Softy

This week, we’re kicking it off with our resident teddy bear, Virgil! Expect lots of acoustic songs that scream coffee shops, flannel, and warmth to celebrate the start of autumn here in the Northern hemisphere. Also, if you have any song recommendations or would like to share your thoughts/favorites, you are more than welcome to! 💚

YouTube

Spotify

Songs below the cut are the ones we’ve deemed the top five from the playlist for Virgil:

Free: Florence + the Machine- “ But I hear the music/ I feel the beat/ And for a moment/ When I'm dancing, I am free” and “Is this how it's always been?/ To exist in the face of suffering and death/ And somehow still keep singing”

Between the lyrics and the tempo of this song just feel so right with Virgil. The idea of being so weighed down by emotions but feeling the lightness of music despite it all is so reflective of him. It’s one of the more upbeat songs on the playlist!

Surface Pressure: Jessica Darrow- “ I'm the strong one, I'm not nervous I'm as tough as the crust of the Earth is” and  “Under the surface/ I hide my nerves, and it worsens, I worry something is gonna hurt us/ Under the surface/ The ship doesn't swerve as it heard how big the iceberg is/ Under the surface/ I think about my purpose, can I somehow preserve this”

This one might not even need much of an explanation, ha! Out of all the brothers, Virgil embodies Luisa the most from his physique to the emotional burden he takes on more than Scott (or John, for that matter). And as we imagine Virgil as the middlest brother with John and Scott older while Alan and Gordon are younger, he ends up in this in between where he has to be the gap between the two sides of their brother unit.

It Takes a Lot To Know a Man: Damien Rice- “It takes a lot to give, to ask for help/ To be yourself, to know and love what you live with” and “What are you so afraid to lose?/ What is it you're thinking that will happen if you do?”

This song. Enough praises cannot be sung about Damien Rice and this song is one of his best. It’s an emotional call out, especially when the climax of the end hits with multiple lines being sung over each other in mimicry of that little nagging voice in the back of your head finally becoming too loud. For Virgil, it’s something representative of the trials he’s been through to learn others but perhaps not himself. Here is an incredible live version of this song that Damien Rice does with a choir, which you all should really really really watch.

They Call Me Doc: Aaron Lewis- “ 'Cause I've seen it all, helped heroes who fall/ Picked them up 'til they stand tall/ And I've been in the field and worked down to the bone/ To make sure all my brothers get back home” and “You'll never know the heartache/ Of lookin' a grown man in the eye/ When he asked you, "Am I gonna make it?"/ And you've got to lie”

Try not to imagine Virgil being the narrator, out in the field during a rescue, playing medic to strangers and brothers alike. Trust us, try not to unless you want to end up bawling.

3 a.m.: Gregory Alan Isakov- “Give me darkness when I’m dreaming/ give me moonlight when I’m leaving/ Give me shoes that weren’t made for standing/ Give me tree-line, give me big sky, get me snow-bound, give me rain clouds give me a bed time…/ Just sometimes” and “Well now i just walk, well i don’t mind the rain/ But I’ve been singing so much softer than i did back then”

If it wasn’t mentioned before, Gregory Alan Isakov is another artist that will be popping up a lot. His vibes are pretty much Midwestern USA paired with astronauts, satellites in cornfields, and quiet nights with a dash of folk. This song specifically in relation to Virgil feels like a testament to young Virgil making his way in the world. And now that he’s older, reflecting back on it in some off-spoken way

#thunderbirds #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds 2015 #virgil tracy #thunderfam #music #playlists

[goldthroughthefire]

God Has The Wheel

    Happy Saturday everyone! We made it through another week! Woo-hoo! How has everyone's week been? Hoping well! Even if it wasn't the best, God is still in control, so we always have something to be thankful for! Isn't it weird though that we sometimes forget that He's in control? Sometimes we try to take the steering wheel and drive through life ourselves. Even if we don't really recognize it. We try to fix things by ourselves when things get a little crazy. I know I do and sometimes often! I have trouble with kidney stones, so I have been trying to figure out how to prevent them or at least not have them as often. If you have ever had kidney stones before, you'll know why! They hurt like the dickens! LOL My friend, who is also a nurse, found out that Nettle tea might help, so I started taking it last week. We didn't do a lot of research at first though. We did a little, but I felt like I needed to do more. Mostly because I wanted to make sure I was doing everything right and it would be ok for me, which is a good thing. After awhile though, I started being consumed with it. I started worrying about what if someone didn't give me the amount I wanted, how I was going to pay for it or if it would really work. I even researched different companies that made Nettle tea to make sure it was legit, which is good because I don't want anything unhealthy, but not if researching is all I'm doing. I would hear myself bringing it up every day, sometimes multiple times. One day though, while I was researching, I realized deep down, I was taking the focus off God and doing everything myself. He was reminding me that He was in control and that I was trying to take the wheel. I didn't even realize it at first, but when I heard God's voice, I'm thinking He's right! Which, He always is of course! LOL From then on, I just stopped worrying and trying to take control. If I don't get the amount I want, no big deal. If I'm supposed to take it, God will provide for it. And ultimately, God is the source for healing, so if He wants to use the tea as a resource, He will! I just need to back up a little and let God do His job! My point is, anyone can try to do things on their own, but is that really a good idea? Especially when our loving Father is the One in control! He's been doing this for a long time, so I'm pretty sure He knows what He's doing! Make that, I know His knows what He's doing! Job 12:10 says, "In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind." All we have to do is trust God! Which, I admit, it can be hard sometimes! Especially if you feel like your world is crumbling down around you or something isn't going your way! You want to take things into your own hands and take action! You just want to help God out a little. That's what Moses did. After God brought the Israelites out of Egypt with Moses leading them, they wandered in the desert for 40 years because they didn't trust God. One day, the Israelites were complaining that they didn't have water and were thirsty. They started arguing with Moses saying that he should have left them in Egypt. At least they had food and water there. Moses went into the tent of meeting with his brother, Aaron, to ask God what to do. God told Moses to take his staff and speak to the rock. Water would then come out of it. Moses and Aaron went out of the tent of meeting to gather the people, but Moses didn't listen to God. When the Israelites were gathered together, Moses became upset and struck the rock instead of speaking to it. Water came gushing out, but Moses didn't trust God enough in the moment. He took his eyes off God and took matters into his own hands. Since Moses didn't trust God enough and didn't obey Him, he never entered the Promised Land. You can read this story in Numbers 20:1-13. Even the Heroes of Faith sometimes tried to take control and didn't fully trust God always. He knows what we need though and is fully aware of everything that is going on. He has you in the palm of His hands. We don't have to worry about anything. If it's in His will, nothing can stop it! Just turn your attention to Him and trust that He will work all things together for your good! Even if we have a schedule set, but you feel like God might be wanting you to do something else, listen to Him! You might have a plan, but sometimes God will lead you in a different direction! Maybe you prepared a speech to give and it was time to go on. All of a sudden though, you feel like you're supposed to say something else. That's the Holy Spirit telling you to change course. Don't be stubborn and say you already planned everything because you're not in control! God is! He knows what's best! Proverbs 19:21 says, "Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails." We can't put God in a box! We try to sometimes, but all of a sudden, He's over there doing something else. That's because we're not in control and we're certainly not in control of God! We have free will of course and can do our own thing, but we don't always know what's best for us. We think we do, but we really don't. I've been there way too many times. LOL That's why we need to trust God and lean on Him. Like a loving Father, He knows what we need and when we need it! He'll help us and move mountains when it feels like all is lost! Psalm 46:10 says, "He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”  When life gets hard or when you want to do things on your own, take a step back and turn your eyes to the One who created the universe. It says in Luke 12:7 that God numbered all the hairs on your head, so surely He knows what's best for us and what we need. Ask for His will to be done, obey whatever He calls you to do and trust that He knows what He's doing! God is in control and always will be! Well, I'm out for now friends! Remember to praise God always! Until next time!

Lauren

[andrew-minyards-bitch]

TW: mentioned of rape

Why are people mad that Aaron questioned Neil’s intentions in the Ravens King? Like I’m sorry but if I just saw my brother getting r@ped and then later finding out that this has been going on for years and then seeing this mafia kid that has brought nothing but trouble to my family touching my brother then I would’ve questioned his intentions too,, also why’re y’all acting like it’s a bad thing? Calling someone names in the process of questioning is the least you should be worrying about. Aaron did not call Neil a r@pist but accused Neil that he might be using Andrew only for his body and not the personality..y’all do realize this is a thing that happens in high school where a friend wouldn’t trust their friend to date someone and accuse that someone for toying with their friend’s emotions,, the foxes are in fucking college this is not a rare thing to happen. Also this shows that Aaron cares about Andrew to call someone out and see if Neil would hurt Andrew and Neil clearly is against the idea. This event is actually one of the most progressive foxes interaction moments because Aaron and Neil both care for Andrew which is why they’re both mad that the other think different. I keep on seeing people putting all the blame on Aaron saying Aaron should’ve known better then to accuse Neil but Neil is a liar, runaway and at that point of the timeline none of the foxes know anything about his backstory

#this is not a neil slander #i’m sayin that both Neil and Aaron were in the right to have an argument about this #Aaron wanted to make sure Andrew wasn’t being used for his body bc he now knows that Andrew got r@ped #and Neil is also in his right to he angry that Aaron is accusing him though this isn’t Aaron’s fault bc Aaron is checking to see if his #brothers relationship is healthy #also don’t act like Neil wasn’t toying with Aaron and Katelyns relationship either bc he was #his intentions were good but he still messed with their relationship #and the result was good but both Neil and Aaron’s intentions here r the same #they’re both doing what they did bc they wanted to improve something #Neil wanted to improve the twins relationship #and aaron wanted to make sure his brother wasn’t getting hurt #aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #andrew minyard #tfc #neil josten #aaron minyard #twinyards

[uncpanda]

The Ties that Bind: Memoriam

AN: This takes place during the season 4 episode memoriam. This is by far, one of my favorite chapters I’ve written for this series! 

Warnings: Mentions Parentifcation, pedophilia that was mentioned in the episdoe in Memoriam, a mental breakdown, and mentions of nudity. Nothing is graphic or explicit except maybe the breakdown.  

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader 

You hold your phone to your ear and wait for the recipient to answer. Your heart is in your throat, your stomach is turning, and you can feel the headache coming on. The ringing cuts off suddenly, “Hotchner.” 

“Please. Please tell me that you did not leave my baby brother in Las Vegas, chasing a case that is nearly as old as he is.” 

There’s a moment of silence, “One second.” You hear a chair scrape, and then a door closes. “You talked with Reid?” 

“Yes. He called to inform me that he thinks William is a pedophile and child killer.” 

“You don’t think that’s true?” 

You shake your head even though you know he can’t see it. “I know it isn’t. Look. William had a lot of faults. A lot. He was passive and then he was angry. One minute I was his daughter and the next I was a burden. But he loved Spencer. He loved kids. I have this vague memory of him talking with my mother about the next time she was pregnant and she just screamed it wasn’t happening again. And his face fell.” 

There’s a pause, “That could be. . .” 

“No it couldn’t. It wasn’t the same. He never made an inappropriate move towards a kid. And he never touched Spencer. From the time he was two till he was ten, Spencer slept in my room. It’s where he felt safe.” you run a hand over your face. 

“Do you remember Riley or anyone . . .” 

You take a deep breath. There are flashes of Spencer in the park, playing chess. “Maybe?”

“Okay. Stay there. I’m on my way. We can do a cognitive interview, and maybe get them some answers.” 

“No. If Spencer wants to do this, and he told me rather loudly that he did, then let him. He’s a grown man.” Your voice sounds meek to your own ears. It’s very unlike you. But you can’t do this. You’d put William and Diana behind you. You had done their job for them. You had protected Spencer. You hang up, and a fit of rage fills you. It takes everything you have to not toss your phone into a wall. You place it on the couch and grab a book before hurling it at the wall. It makes a nice sound. You pace the apartment. And when that doesn’t help calm you down, you grab your car keys and head out. 

The drive isn’t overly familiar. You’ve made it a few times, and there’s a chance he won’t even be home. You breathe a sigh of relief when you see his car in the driveway and the lights on in the cabin. You climb out of the car, and before you’ve taken two steps the door is open. 

Gideon is looking at you curiously. “Hey.” You get a small smile. 

You don’t return it. Instead, tears burn your eyes. The smile slips aways and he takes the steps forward to meet you. You throw yourself into his arms, and he hugs you tight. Your friendship with Jason is hard to define. If you had to define it, you’d say he was as close to a father figure as you could get. 

He ushers you inside and sits you down on his couch before taking his arm chair. He doesn’t prod you, he just waits. You’re pretty sure it’s the retired profiler in him. You quickly explain the situation Spencer has gotten himself into and Gideon listens without interruption. 

When you’re done you wait for some sort of wisdom. “You’re scared.” 

“I’m scared? That’s the best you’ve got.” 

He chuckles, “You’re scared of a lot. You’re scared you missed something as a ten year old child and your brother might have gotten hurt. You’re worried your mother is going to find a way to affect your brother’s reasoning. You’re scared about how Spencer’s confrontation with William is going to go. And you’re terrified at the thought of things going well, and the three of them being a family with you on the outside.” 

The tears well again, because he’s right. You hate it when he’s right. “Now you’ve got two options. You can wait for him to call and tell you what he finds out. Or we can do a cognitive interview. We can try and go back to that time.” 

You sigh. “Let’s do it.” 

He takes your hand, and gives you instructions to close your eyes, even your breathing, 

and  focus on an element of that time. You focus on the heat. It’s a dry heat but still brutal. It comes back, “RIley and Spencer were friends. He was one of the only kids who didn’t mind that Spencer was different. Riley was his opposite though. He smiled and laughed and he liked what William called normal kids stuff. I used to watch them at the park.” 

“Were you babysitting?” 

“No. I had friends of my own. I’d make them go to the park so I could still keep an eye on Spencer. He liked to play chess. He would beat the adults. I was afraid they might get mad at him. William would get mad at stuff like that.” 

“Focus on the chess. Did anyone seem inappropriate.” 

Your thoughts go a little blurry, but then they focus, “Mr. Michaels, from down the street. Most of the people who played against Spencer were grandparents. Or they had kids. He didn't. He'd offer Spencer candy, but he knew better than to take it. I made sure of that. My stomach felt queasy around him.” 

Gideon’s voice is soothing, “Those were your instincts. They were telling you he was trouble. Did you get Spencer away?” 

“Yeah. He was confused. He didn’t think it was nice that I didn’t like Mr. Michaels.” You open your eyes, “He disappeared right after Riley was murdered.” 

Gideon leans back, “Do you remember his first name?” 

“No. Everyone was Mr. or Mrs. because that’s what was polite. William made sure of that. Mom, not so much.” 

“Call your brother. Let him know.” 

You take your phone out hesitantly. You hadn’t been kidding when you said Spencer had been loud earlier. He’d been aggravated. And a little mean. You half expect him not to answer. 

But he does, “Hello.” 

You sigh, and Spencer calls your name, “Mr. Michaels from down the street. He used to play chess with you in the park. He liked to offer you candy. You never took it. He had no children, but he liked to be around you and the other kids.” 

There’s silence before Spencer says, “You led me away from him. I remember. I thought it was rude, I thought you’d be mad.” 

Your brow furrows, “Why would I be mad?” 

“I was talking to dad.” 

Your breath hitches in your throat. Faintly, you hear over the line, “Is that your sister? Can I talk to her?” 

“Um. . .” 

“No.” You answer firmly, “No Spencer. This is a boundary I’m setting. Respect it. Please.” 

Your brother’s answer is blunt, “She doesn’t want to talk to you.” You hear movement on the other side, and then things are much more quiet. “It’s just me.” 

You let out a sigh of relief, “Thanks.” 

“So it wasn’t dad.” 

“Told you so.” 

“I still have to figure out what happened to Mr. Michaels.” 

You screw your eyes shut, “No. You don’t. Just leave it alone, and come home. Please.” 

His voice is repentant this time, “I can’t. I need to figure this out. Mom stopped her meds in an effort to remember.” 

“Fuck. Spencer, it took the doctors and me three days to get her on the meds. It took even longer for her to realize they were a good thing. . .” 

“She’s doing good, sis. She wants to help. I know she’s a taboo topic for you, but . . .” 

“She’s not taboo Spencer. She’s never been taboo.” 

“Really, then what about when you said to stop talking to her about you? What was that?” 

You stand and start pacing the room. You can feel Gideon’s eyes on you. “That was in regards to getting my hopes up. It was me having to stop thinking that she might actually want to see me and have a relationship, because each time she turned me away it made me feel less than dirt. I’m fine talking about mom, I’m not okay with being tossed to the side.” You can feel the tears coming. The inadequacies, the hurt that you do an excellent job compartmentalizing and hiding are coming to the surface. “I’ve got to go. I love you.” 

You hang up before he can say anything. This time you don’t resist the urge, you hurl the flip phone into the wall. You take immense satisfaction in how it breaks. It may even be as broken as you. And with that you drop to your knees. The impact is hard, and stings, and you know they’ll be bruised the next day. The sobs tear through you, and suddenly you’re pulled into a chest. 

Gideon’s arms are locked around you. You feel him press a kiss to your hairline as you wail and scream and cry. He doesn’t say anything until the more extreme emotions are gone and you bury your face in his chest. You briefly wonder if this is what it’s like to have a good father? To have someone stand by you, and care about you, and try to make things better, and when they can’t just be there? You should have had this. It shouldn’t have all been on you. 

Gideon seems to think the same thing, “You did so good.” There’s emotion in his voice. Unshed tears maybe? “You are so strong. You did everything you could. You kept him safe. You kept yourself safe. You kept your mother safe. I am so proud of what you did. You raised a young man who saves lives, and you turned yourself into an amazing woman. You did good.” 

You stay like that for a while. Every once in a while he’ll rock you back and forth. When your tears are dried up, you go ahead and try and pull away. Gideon doesn’t let you. “A few more seconds.” You give him that. 

When those seconds are over you pull back and look at him, “You just did more for me than William or Diana ever did.” 

He smiles, “According to my son, Stephen, I’m getting a lot better at this whole parenting thing.” 

You smile at that, “How’d the trip to Yosemite go? Just the two of you for two weeks camping, right?” He’d told you about the plan to go the last time you two had had coffee. 

It’s a complete dismissal of the breakdown you’d just had. It’s a safe change in topic, and it allows you time to dissociate, regroup, and compartmentalize. You talk for about an hour before you stand and head home. 

Gideon is hesitant to let you drive, but you reassure him you don’t have any tears left. All you want right now is to go home and have some wine and maybe a bubble bath. He gives you strict orders to drive safe. You give him a hug and promise to do so. 

You feel a bit lighter on the drive home. And once you step into your hallway you pause at who you see there. “Aaron.” 

He’s still dressed in his full suit, but he’s sitting on the very dirty floor of your hallway with a book and his go bag next to him. He takes one look at you, pushes off the floor, takes three long strides, and gathers you in his arms. You cling to him. 

“I was literally on my way out of the office to come here when JJ went into labor. And then you weren't here, and I talked myself into waiting an hour before calling in a search party. Where the hell have you been?” 

“I went for a drive.” Your response is muffled by his shoulder. But he still understands. You pull away after another minute, and unlock the door. 

He follows you in and makes sure to close and lock the door. “I tried calling your cell.” 

You head to the kitchen and get out a bottle of wine. You pour a glass for you and a 

glass for him.  “I broke it. I’ll get a new one tomorrow.” You hand him his glass and proceed to down yours. He only has the one, which he sips over several hours, while you go through two bottles. It’s enough to leave you a drunken mess. 

Aaron doesn’t mind. He holds you when the tears and confessions start. The stories about Diana and William flow free. He’s the first and only person you've ever told these things to. Not even Spencer knows. At some point the night goes black. 

You wake up the next morning to a phone ringing and you groan. Hangovers last all day now that you’re not in your twenties, and you have the mother of all hangovers. Your entire being just hurts. 

You search for you phone but you can’t find it. That’s when you realize you’re in your bed, still in your clothes from the previous day, but someone is in your bathroom. You stare at the door, and then it opens. Your eyes go wide, and your mouth goes dry, as Aaron steps through the doorway in only a towel. And DEAR LORD. 

Aaron is all lean muscle. He isn’t as defined as you think Morgan would be, but still! There’s a smattering of hair on his chest and a nice little trail that leads to what’s under the towel. You feel your cheeks heat up. Then you catch sight of the water still dripping down his body, and how his hair is damp and a little more floppy than usual. A bit of it falls into his eyes. 

He shoots you a small smile before going to the nightstand on the opposite side of the bed, and picking up his phone. He clicks the answer button, and answers, “Hotchner.” 

He listens briefly and smiles, “That’s good to hear. I’ll let the rest of the team know.” Then he hangs up, and turns to face you, as though he’s not wearing just a towel. “JJ had the baby, and they’re both okay.” 

You answer on auto pilot, “That’s good.” 

“How are you feeling?” 

“Like I went to a frat party.” 

“Mixing wine and tequila can do that to a person.” 

You had mixed your  drinks? That explained the drumline going on in your skull. “Thank you for staying.” 

“Nothing to thank me for. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more.” 

You roll on the bed so that you’re just a tad closer to him, and take his hand. He laces his fingers with yours, and you smile, “You’re a good friend Aaron.” 

He squeezes your hand, “I’d do anything for you, Don’t forget that.” And as you stare into his eyes, you know he’s speaking nothing but the truth, and you’re so grateful to have that. “Back at you. Now, how about you put on some clothes so I don’t feel like I’m at Chippendales.” 

You expect a blush, instead you get a smirk, “See something you like?” 

Bastard. He’s entirely too confident. You roll away from him and off the bed, “Get dressed or you won’t get any of the donuts I’m ordering.” You just get a laugh in return, and you can’t help but think that today is already looking much brighter than yesterday. Then again, how could it not, with a nearly naked Aaron Hotchner in your apartment? 

#aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #hotch #hotch x reader #hotch x you #spencer reid x sister!reader #criminal minds #criminal minds reader insert #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #cm fanfic #cm reader insert #cm imagine #cm fanfiction

[greg-montgomery]

Ivy - Part 10

gif by: @hotch-girl <3

Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader (Sean Hotchner x Fem!Reader)

Series summary: Your relationship with your boyfriend, Sean, is going great. Well, that is until you meet his older brother, Aaron.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

my besties <333 i'm sorry it took me a while to update, but i'm here!! don't yell at me for not tagging anyone in this, no one gets notifications from me anymore, so there was no point. idk who is gonna see this without any tags but i'm posting it for the people who ask me about it and are waiting for an update 🥹 ilysm!!!!! this chaper is hurt/comfort and they're all gonna be okay! i promise!

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

“I’m saying we should double the prize. A hundred thousand dollars for your one and only. Sounds fair to me.”

Spencer held the button of Garcia’s device so he could speak without being heard by the people on the other side of the phone. “Agree with him.”

Sean nodded, looking at his almost empty apartment, left alone now with only Spencer and Penelope.

“Fine. A hundred thousand dollars. Tell me the place and I’ll bring them to you,” he said with confidence.

“I’m not telling you the location more than half an hour before our meeting. Do you think I’m stupid?”

Yes, Sean wanted to say, but he held back. “Alright. I’ll have them ready by eight o’clock tonight.”

“Good. Wait for my call around that time then. Say goodbye to pretty Y/N for now,” the man’s mocking voice replied, before hanging up.

Sean closed his eyes, exhaling as if it was the first time he had breathed all day. “Jesus…”

“You did a great job,” Spencer said. “They think you’re gonna meet in the evening so they won’t attempt to move locations for now.”

Reid’s reassuring words were comforting, but the weight on his chest was still heavy. “I won’t feel okay until Aaron calls me and tells me he has her.”

You, in his brother’s arms. His greatest fear had somehow turned into his greatest wish. As long as you were safe, nothing else mattered to him.

--

Being tied up and alone in a basement left plenty of time for your thoughts to travel wherever they desired. At first, those thoughts were filled with Aaron, and Jack, and Sean. But after that last phone call, your fantasies had shifted. This time they were violent and they involved the chair you were currently sitting at, and you using it to hit your kidnappers in the face.

They had, at least, finally shut up and left the room; although you were certain they were still in the house. You closed your eyes to appreciate the silence before a loud bang disturbed your little moment of peace.

“FBI! Drop your weapons.”

Aaron.

Aaron was here.

You smiled. Aaron was here and it was all going to be okay.

You could hear loud noises and yells from the other room, but you couldn’t make out everything that was being said. Two sentences, though, arrived perfectly clear to your ears.

“Where is she?”

“Hotch, slow down, you’re gonna kill him.”

Listening to the mess that was taking place on the other side of the wall and not being able to see any of it was actively killing you, but that torture ended fast when the door opened and you finally got to see the love of your life after a day full of agony.

Your heart melted at the sight of him and the tears you didn’t know you still had inside you spilled.

“Baby…” you cried, as he rushed to get next you.

Derek and Emily followed him, still pointing with their guns. “There’s no one else here,” you informed them.

“Sweetheart…” Aaron’s voice got your attention again. He kneeled in front of you, and started untying you gently.

It was hard for you to get any words out, your voice choked by your sobs.

“I’m here now. You’re okay.” he said.

“You’re here.”

“I’m here. I got here on time,” he said, kissing your forehead. You weren’t sure if he was talking to you or himself. “I got here on time,” he repeated against your skin. “You’re alive, I wasn’t too late this time. I wasn’t too late.”

“What did you do to them?” you whispered.

“That’s not for you to worry about,” Aaron answered softly, helping you to stand up and then immediately lifting you up in his arms.

You could feel the eyes of his team on the two of you. You knew how it looked, yet you did not have the energy to care. You hid your face in the crook of his neck, holding onto one of the straps of his vest, as he walked you out of the building, protecting yourself from seeing the reason behind the blood that had stained the sleeves of his white shirt.

--

Getting checked up by the doctors didn’t take long since - besides the scars on your wrists and ankles by being tied up - there wasn’t a single scratch on your body.

You shut your eyes letting yourself surrender to the safety of being in Aaron’s car. He was talking on the phone with someone from his team, but you didn’t pay attention to what he was saying, his voice muffled with the sound of the few drops of rain that were falling on your windows, the soft melody coming from the radio, and the sound of the other cars passing. His hand was holding yours, resting on his lap. He squeezed it softly every few seconds as if to make sure you wouldn’t suddenly disappear.

“Sean…” you whispered.

“I called him. He knows you’re okay.”

“Good.” You smiled, and finally dozed off.

--

Your nose was buried in something soft. A hand was playing with your hair and the sweet feeling of sleep was taking over your body, but you resisted it. Where were you?

Your eyes fluttered open, being met with the fabric of a gray t-shirt. Turning your body to lay on your back and looking up, you saw a pair of brown eyes staring at you sweetly.

“What time is it?” you asked, not recognizing your own voice.

“It’s four in the morning.”

“Four?” You palmed your forehead and closed your eyes, feeling tired and confused.

“I know you needed to shower and eat, but I didn’t wanna wake you,” he explained himself. “How are you feeling?”

“My throat is dry.”

“Here.” Aaron offered you the glass of water that was sitting on the table right in front of the couch you were laying at.

The feeling of the cool water down your throat was worth a million dollars.

“I feel like shit,” you said, handing back to him the now empty glass.

“Wanna take a shower?” he suggested. “Then we can eat something. I cooked.”

You nodded.

You didn’t have the energy to talk; you didn’t have the energy to cry. And you felt immeasurably grateful it was Aaron that you were with. Someone who understood you, someone you didn’t need to fake it with.

He led you to the bathroom and quietly removed your clothes. An action he had done before, but this time there was nothing sexual in his movements. There wasn’t lust in his eyes. Only care and worry.

“That’s it,” he whispered, as you stepped into the shower. He made sure the temperature of the water was perfect and then he placed the shower head above you so the water would be poured all over you. After a few moments, he opened the shampoo bottle, and dropped some of the product on his open palm. The feeling of his fingers scratching your scalp was what broke you.

Your sobs were soft and your tears blended with the shower water. Still, it wasn’t hard to miss that you were crying. But Aaron didn’t acknowledge it, giving you the space you needed, even though he was right next to you. Just when you thought it was impossible to love him more, he made you fall for him even harder.

“I love you,” you attempted to say, not sure if the words even came out.

“I love you,” he answered, cupping your cheeks. His lips touched yours, the kiss light as a feather; a reminder that he was right there and he loved you.

Aaron moved onto washing your body, his touch reaching every single inch of you, washing away every reminder of that experience.

His clothes had gotten wet and some parts even had soap on them, so you figured it was okay if you did something that would make an even bigger mess. When he was done rinsing all the soap of your body and hair, you opened your arms and pulled him into a tight hug. You held him as close as possible to your body and Aaron lost no time before wrapping his arms around you protectively.

“Thank you for saving me.”

“Thank you for coming back to me.”

--

“Your hair is still wet. You’re gonna catch a cold,” Aaron said from the kitchen, as you made yourself comfortable on his couch. You were dressed entirely in his clothes, seeking comfort in every little thing of his.

He walked towards you, with a bawl of soup and his famous Aaron Hotchner disapproving stare. He didn’t fight you, though, letting you settle in his arms even with wet hair, and fed you the soup he had prepared when you were asleep.  

“Baby?” he said, carefully, as you devoured the food.

“Mmm?”

“Are you feeling okay enough to call Sean now?”

His question took you by surprise.

“He asked me if you could call him at some point,” he explained. “He wants to hear your voice.”

“Of course,” you said. “I’m an idiot for not thinking of it earlier. I should have called him as soon as I woke up.”

“No, you’re not. You went through a lot today.”

“Still.”

You were in the middle of dialing his number when you realized what time it actually was. “Aaron, the sun is not even up yet. Isn’t he probably sleeping now?”

Aaron’s gaze dropped on his lap, in what you figured was guilt. “He said he wouldn’t sleep until he heard your voice. He…he thinks all of this is his fault.”

“It’s not.”

“I know. But you know Sean.”

“Yeah…I do.”

As hypocritical as it sounded, you both shared a love for Sean that you were afraid he would rightfully not accept. Sean would beat himself up for what happened to you, and you would not let that happen. You had already damaged his heart enough.

Part 11

#aaron hotchner x reader #sean hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #hotch #criminal minds #ivy #hotch 🪐

[ssahotstuff]

HOME//Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader PART 5

All previous parts can be found here

Summary: Emily Prentiss convinces Aaron Hotchner to get a nanny, and she knows the perfect girl for the job. You.

word count: 9.8k

Warnings for this series: SMUTTTT of all the types, minors DNI!! any minors that interact with my work with be blocked! my blog is 18+, violence, depictions of ab*se, terror, cursing, drug/alcohol content, death, crime, in-depth explanations of abuse, trauma, etc, mentions of scars from abuse, this part and the next are very triggering

ILY GUYS sorry im going through it heavy rn but didn’t want to leave yall hanging 

ALSO it only gets literally insane from here. buckle tf up please and thank u,i don’t want anyone hurt on the ride down

When I found her she was on the top floor, in front of the massive window on a giant fur rug she'd made herself at home on. She was drinking tequila directly from the bottle, patting the space in front of her for me to join her.

"You'll need this," she handed the bottle to me and I took it gratefully.

"I'm telling you this because I trust you. If you want to know so bad, you'll know. Just promise you'll still love me when I'm done talking."

I took a swig, grabbing her hand.

"Nothing you could tell me would make me stop loving you."

"Okay... Aaron, be patient with me. I've never said any of this out loud."

She took a deep breath, visibly shaking as she reached for the bottle, taking another large sip.

"My dad left before I was born. I still don't know where he is. My mom was okay, halfway at least, until I was 6 and my brother was born. No idea who his dad is. She had postpartum psychosis, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. She was on drugs, which didn't help, and she didn't want kids, which made having 2 children really tricky," she chuckled, voice cracking already, but she pushed through it. My beautiful, brave girl.

"Ben, the oldest, was 3 weeks old when she left us. She cried for days, and I knew something was wrong. So, I watched her make the bottles and change his diaper so I'd be prepared if it did. One night, I was asleep in the recliner and she woke me up and said that I'd done this to her, made her so sad. That's what she meant. So I had to help her by taking care of him. So I did. It wasn't until I got busted for shoplifting formula that my family got involved, but no one ever did anything. My mom is really manipulative, so she would just turn the tears on and they'd forgive her. She'd come home, beat me for being careless, and leave again."

She removed her shirt again, lifting her breasts to reveal a constellation of tiny spots, scars, I realized after a minute.

"Cigarette burns. Tears set her off. Made her have these meltdowns. She couldn't handle babies, or the crying. Tears were the most horrible sin, only unforgivable one," she whispered, pulling her shirt back down as quickly as she could.

"Baby," she moved closer, letting me hold onto her. "You never have to hide from me, pretty girl. Never."

"Emily tells everyone we met in school. That's not entirely true. She was my neighbor. She was the deciding factor in me staying alive some days. But my mom knew that Emily knew. So Emily taught me Morse code, so I could tap out 'SOS' on her window if I needed her. It's a habit I still haven't kicked. I'm surprised you didn't catch on to it immediately."

It was all starting to make sense.

"Emily got me out of there. I didn't come straight to Virginia, not at first. I went to school, but Emily got me into a program for minors that were in abusive households, and they emancipated me and I graduated high school at 17. Had a degree by 21, and another by 25. I did everything I could to make sure I never had to go back there."

"Two degrees?"

"I have a degree in criminal psychology," she admitted, earning a low laugh from me in return.

"My impressive girl didn't even want to tell me she was impressive."

"I wanted to be just like Emily. But once I finished, I realized it wasn't what I wanted to do, so I went back to school and now I'm writing."

"I hope you know you amaze me. Every single thing about you is astounding to me."

"Do you feel better now that you know?" She asked, face buried in my neck. She was still shaking slightly, but she seemed to be calming down some.

"I feel closer to you than I've ever felt. Thank you for telling me. I know it took a lot of courage and I want you to know that I'm proud of you." I promised her, knowing that she'd kept it a secret for so long that it was probably second nature to her to keep things in.

"I know I didn't tell you everything, but you know more than anyone else ever has."

"The fact that you told me anything at all means the world to me, sweetheart. I hope you know I will always keep you safe. I know you've spent your life being scared, but I don't want you to live like that anymore. Let me take care of you," I kissed her softly, hands on her hips, her body in my lap.

"I have a secret to tell you," she said between kisses, tongue lazily tracing my lips as we sat on the rug together.

"Tell me, baby. You can tell me anything any time you want."

"The real reason I didn't do relationships before was that I was afraid for anyone to see me. I had never been completely exposed to anyone. You were the first and the last. I won't give myself to anyone like this after you. The things we've done together... I was terrified, Aaron. Petrified for anyone to see me. I never felt that with you. There was never a minute of hesitation when it came to you."

My dick twitched involuntarily at the thought of being the only person in her entire life to have her, and she noticed because she shifted herself on top of me so she could straddle me. My length was still covered but nestled in the heat of her thighs.

"What is it, baby? Do you love the idea of being the only person to ever touch me?" She teased in my ear, mouth nuzzling lightly at my jaw. She was driving me mad

"I don't want anyone else to ever have you the way I have," I growled, grinding her against my hips to find any sort of relief.

"I don't want anyone else, only you," she promised, fingers lifting my shirt over my head, trailing so delicately over my skin that I felt goosebumps rising all over me. Between the tequila, the thrill of our first Christmas together, mixed along with everything else, the surge of emotional connection I felt towards Y/N was like electricity. I wanted to memorize every second of my life with her from here forward.

"I never thought I'd tell anyone I loved them ever again. I'm glad you proved me wrong," I muttered against her chest before wrapping my tongue around her nipple, causing her to push her chest forward and further into my face. I worked with my free hand on her other breast, massaging it gently as she moaned softly, eyes glued to my mouth.

"I love every part of you, even when you weren't so sure about things," she panted, and I watched with wide eyes as she slipped her hands past the waistband of her shorts, rubbing furiously at her clit while I sucked on her chest.

"Oh baby, are you desperate to cum?" I questioned, laying her down on the rug so I could shed her shorts. She never removed her hand, she just nodded, whimpering slightly as I stripped her down.

"Want you so bad, Aaron. Feel," she guided my fingers to her center, inhaling sharply when I slid them through her folds, collecting every drop of her juices I could get my hands on. I sucked her off my fingers without a second thought, not bothering to reply as I let my tongue find her clit. She screamed into her hand, hips bucking to meet my mouth.

"No one around for miles, pretty girl. Make all the noise you want," I half begged her, desperate to hear her scream while I was between her thighs. Spreading her open, I took my time licking from her lips to her center, using my fingers to expose her clit completely.

"Let me know if this is too much," I told her before I wrapped my lips around her, sucking lightly at first, earning a series of beautiful whimpers from her.

"More please," she pleaded, replacing my fingers with her own. I understood what she meant, sliding two fingers inside of her, curling them into her. I kissed her clit lightly, remembering how crazy it made her the last time I did it. I didn't expect her to clench around my fingers immediately, soaking them as she screamed my name.

"Yes baby, so good," normally I would have given her a break, but it was Christmas, and the liquor coursing through my veins wanted me to get intoxicated on her taste. I continued kissing her pussy, letting her wrap her legs around my neck as I got lost in her. I don't know how long she just let me lay there, but neither of us was complaining. She was too busy soaking the rug to care about the time, and frankly, I would have spent the entire duration of our getaway right there with my tongue inside of her if she would have let me.

"Not tired yet?" She questioned, hands holding my face firmly between her legs. I shook my head, taking a break only long enough to ask her to sit on my face. She agreed immediately, situating herself above me, hovering above me long enough for me to get the best view of her. She was glistening, pussy pink and swollen, dripping down her thighs.

"Do you have any idea how much it means to me that you let me touch you like this?" I asked, kissing her thighs, her ass, my lips had no particular destination in mind, they just wanted to be attached to her.

"I trust you completely. I want to try everything with you," she breathed, watching me closely as I pulled her down to sit halfway on my chest, halfway on her legs.

"You aren't going to hurt me, baby. Sit down on my face, please," she finally sat her face on my mouth, causing me to moan into her. Her head was thrown back as she finally quit being shy, using her hands to guide my mouth where she wanted it, grinding against my tongue as sweat dripped from her brow and her cum dripped onto my chin and my chest. I wanted to wear her around my neck just like this, like a trophy.

"Pretty girl," I mumbled, mostly to myself, but it earned a soft smile from her in response before she turned around abruptly, switching positions quicker than I could keep up, all so she could put my cock in her throat.

"Fuck, Angel," I hissed, meeting her mouth with my hips as I thrust into her, the little moan she made causing me to shudder beneath her. Our tongues worked mercilessly on each other, our filthy cries of pleasure echoing throughout the cabin like a pornographic movie. The fact that she'd never done this with anyone else only fueled my desire to do it more, and then some. I'd spend the entire weekend giving her firsts, and maybe getting a few of my own in the process. I was sure we'd probably have sex while we were here, but I never expected to experience something so purely passionate with her. That was the best thing about her, just when you thought things couldn't be better, she had a way of surprising you, giving you more than you ever thought possible.

That's all I could think about as she gagged around me, my cock so far in her throat I wondered how she was breathing. She gave every bit of herself, body, mind, and soul, every single time she did anything. It was admirable to the point that it was almost eerie. It gave her a saint-like persona that anyone else would think was fake, but I knew better. She was an Angel walking here on earth, and I'd been lucky enough to get to experience her. Selfishly, I wanted to keep her here forever so I never had to share her with the world again, but I knew that wasn't practical. So I'd settle for making her a permanent part of my life, no matter what the cost.

"Gonna marry you," I managed to choke out, head resting against her thigh as I watched her, tits bouncing against my chest as my dick bobbed in and out of her mouth. She moaned harshly, causing her throat to tighten around me.

"Oh, fuck, baby," I could barely hold my eyes open as she worked her hand at the base of my cock, her mouth wrapped around the rest, working in perfect rhythm together. I was starstruck, I couldn't even raise my hips to thrust into her mouth anymore. I just let her choke on my cock, thick streams of cum sputtering into her mouth as she hollowed her cheeks around me.

I took advantage of the current position she was in, pussy still in my face, ass in the air, her knees spreading above me so she could completely open herself up above me.

"I'm not done," I told her, burying my tongue inside of her, feeling the heat of her core on the entirety of my face.

"Aaron, oh my god," I felt her body stiffen above me, and a second later I felt the sweet rush of her orgasm on my tongue. It was taking hardly any effort at all to make her cum at this point, and it was addictive. Every time I tasted her cum on my tongue, I wanted more.

"You tired?" I questioned, not waiting to hear her reply, I was already tucked away between her lips, clit on my tongue.

"Not in the slightest," she giggled, and in return it made me smile. So pure. So sweet.

"Cum one more time and we can take a break. Get a snack and move to the bed," I told her, kissing her clit lightly, knowing that's all it would take to make her come undone.

"Don't stop," she pleaded, and I shook my head, kissing over and over until her thighs shook and my face was drenched.

"You know better. I'd never stop knowing you were so close," I whispered, kissing her thigh before letting her crawl off of me. She kissed me hard; if I would've been standing, my knees would have gone weak.

"I love you, Aaron." It was like music to my ears.

"I love you," I kissed her temple, helping to get her dressed before I worried about my own clothes.

"I meant what I said, about marrying you," I mentioned, watching her curiously as I pulled my own shirt over my head.

"I never thought I'd be anyone's wife. Are you sure you want that?" She sounded almost worried as she doubted herself. I grabbed her wrists, holding them firmly in one hand and tilting her face to look at me with the other.

"Would I have said it if I wasn't sure? You don't realize how precious you are, sweetheart. I don't ever want to have to give you up," I kissed her, releasing her hands so she could jump into my arms. I loved that she would do this, let me carry her around in my arms. I craved being able to make her feel secure in any way I could. I wondered how I let myself go so long denying my feelings for her. It wasn't fair to either of us, but especially not to her. I'd spend the rest of my life trying to make up for those weeks of doubt.

"I just don't want you to regret it," she mumbled, sitting on the counter long enough for me to find the two of us a snack. I held up a tub of vanilla ice cream, receiving a thumbs up in response, so I grabbed a spoon, grabbed my girl, and carried her up the stairs.

"I'd never regret anything I did with you, and I mean that," we flipped on the television, snacking on ice cream and talking about the future.

"I think marrying you sounds like a great way to spend the rest of my life," she said, resting her hand on my thigh. I admired the way the ring Jack and I had gotten her looked on her hand, and fantasized about things I never thought I'd think about again. Marriage, a change in career, or a transfer at least.

A baby.

Wait, what?

I hadn't thought about being a father until we already knew Jack was going to be here. The idea of planning a pregnancy, watching Y/N glow, Jack becoming a big brother...

"Baby, your phones ringing," she interrupted my thoughts, my heart sinking at the thought of my phone ringing so late. I wandered to the hall, finding it near the rug from earlier, realizing it was Dave.

"Hotchner."

"You're gonna hate me for what I'm about to say," he started, and I rolled my eyes, knowing it couldn't be good.

"On Christmas? Really?"

"No. On January 2nd. Leading some sort of task force overseas. You were requested specifically by Strauss."

"Of course I was."

"She'll be fine. She knows it's part of the job," Rossi said coolly, and I sighed, knowing that she'd be more than understanding. That's what made it so difficult.

"I'll talk to her. Does this mean my vacation can continue as planned?"

"Hey, no more interruptions from me. Have fun. And I'm sorry. That sort of distance is rough."

"It'll be dealt with. Thank you, Dave."

She knew something was off immediately, climbing into my lap to comfort me. I gripped her tightly, knowing months away from her overseas would drive us both insane. It was, unfortunately, part of my job, but Jack and Y/N made me question my loyalty to the BAU with every passing day.

"Are we leaving?" She questioned, and I shook my head, sighing as I explained to her what Dave had just told me.

"I understand," she said almost immediately, causing me to pull her into me, my hands in her hair.

"I knew you would baby, but you shouldn't have to. This is no way for me to ask you to live," I told her, and I meant it. I was going to have to either give up my position or give up my time with my son and my relationship, and neither was going to be easy, but they needed me more.

"I don't think you understand that I mean it when I say I'll support you no matter what," her voice was so soft, I knew it would be easy to leave and come back and she'd love me as nothing had changed. She'd be waiting on me at the door every single time. But eventually, it would wear her down. She'd probably never tell me if it did, but that wasn't a risk I was willing to take.

"I know you would, and I love you for that. But Jack deserves a father that's around for things regularly. And you deserve consistency from me. Earlier, we were talking about marriage and it was the weirdest thing..."

She perked up, eyes on me.

"I was just thinking about how I want to give you everything, and I couldn't help but imagine us and Jack and maybe a baby? Is that's something you'd be interested in? We should talk about that, it's important," I encouraged, and she nodded, settling into my side.

"I've never thought about it before, but I've definitely been considering it lately."

"Define lately."

"Since earlier, when you said I was motherly without trying to be. It made me think about what kind of mother I'd be, but I already have a pretty good idea, I think."

"You spend every second of the day with Jack. You do everything a mother does and you choose to do it. That's very admirable."

"I love him like he's my own, that's for sure. I've never loved anyone the way I love Jack," her voice was different when she talked about Jack. It was pure love, projected into words. It made me almost breathless.

"You went from a stranger to someone I want to share my life with within a matter of a few months. You shook our entire world, baby. I hope one day you can see how special we both think you are."

She was almost asleep, arm around my waist, breathing deeper with every passing moment.

"I love you, Aaron," she whispered, barely audible above the noise of the tv.

"I love you, Angel. Get some sleep."

✨✨✨✨

Things had been interesting for you since Aaron had gone overseas. You were actually communicating with him actively, him texting you every spare moment he got. He'd been extremely clingy, and you were enjoying every second of it. You couldn't get enough of him, and you weren't sure if you'd ever be fully satisfied ever again if you didn't have him. He was showing you what love was like for the first time, and you wondered how it could get any better.

But he continued surprising you.

About 6 weeks into his assignment, he asked if you were awake around 5 am. You were, every morning on the dot so you could get Jack ready for school. He was calling you, so you retreated to his room, flopping onto the bed as you answered.

"Hi baby," you breathed, excited to hear his voice.

"Hi, angel. Miss me?"

"More than ever. I'm glad you called," you told him, hearing him chuckle lowly in response.

"I miss you both so much. I can't stop thinking about you. I'm on my way to get some sleep but I wanted to talk to you on the drive."

"I'm glad to hear you're making time to sleep," you said honestly. He had been so tired when you first moved in, you often wondered how he functioned.

"Have you thought about what we talked about?"

"I have. I've been sure, I just wanted to wait for you baby," you assured him, hopeful for your future with him. Before he'd left, he'd given you a job: house hunting. If you wanted, of course. And you did. You wanted a home with him, and everything that had to offer.

He'd also said if you wanted to quit your birth control, that would be fine too.

You quit taking it the day after Christmas, and your body was suffering the consequences. You'd been moody, irritable, and so hungry.

"I've been so grumpy, I didn't realize how bad it could mess me up," you told him, fishing through your closet for something to wear for the day. Once you'd come home from the cabin, you moved into Aaron's room. It was his idea, even though yours was bigger. He wanted to share a room, and this is where you'd settled.

"I'm having a hard time concentrating over here because all I can think about is coming home and putting a baby in you," he admitted, voice an octave lower.

"Plenty of time for baby-making when you're back, do what you have to do and get home to us," you said, knowing that his stay overseas wasn't even halfway over.

"I'm requesting a transfer when I get back. Something more stationary. I want to be home every night."

"We both know you won't be happy with that," you told him, earning a sigh in response.

"It doesn't matter. I won't be happy if I don't ever get to see Jack or you," he countered, and you knew this was a conversation that no one could win.

"We can talk about this when you get home, just think about it okay? I want you to be happy at your job. Let me take care of things here, just worry about getting you back home safe."

"I love you. I'll text you after I've slept. Tell Jack I love him please."

You promised you would, getting off the phone and going about your normal routine. You'd have coffee, make Jack something to eat, and wake him up in time to have breakfast with you. It was your routine every single morning, and you loved every minute of it.

After you had him dropped at school for the day, you usually went grocery shopping for something for dinner, but you had different plans today. You were house hunting, scouting houses in Jack's school district so he wouldn't have to switch schools. You'd found a few potentials, jotting down the information and making a mental note to find the listing online so you could show Aaron. You were in love with one, in particular, an older home still in the district but away from the suburbs. It had a giant yard, and a reasonable price tag considering the location was excellent. You put it at the top of your list and took a break for coffee.

On a normal day, you'd go through the drive-through, but you had all day to spare, so laptop in tow, you headed inside, ordering the usual and finding a place to get comfortable.

"Y/N?"

You looked up from the screen, a mixture of horror and fear coursing through you as you realized the voice belonged to Lea, your previous roommate. You'd dipped out on her months ago, cutting all contact after your move to Aaron's. She'd tried to text and call, but you weren't interested in answering.

"Oh, hi Lea," you said shyly, terrified of what she might say. She took the seat across from you, her red hair dull in the harsh lighting, making her appear more menacing than usual.

"You've been ignoring my calls and my texts. What's your deal?"

You sat down your coffee, annoyed by the way she'd just intruded on your space.

"I have a life, one I couldn't have living with you, so just leave Lea. I'm trying to work," you spat, hoping you could get her to just walk away without causing a scene.

"How is your little boyfriend doing?"

You eyed her curiously, wondering how she knew anything about him. You hadn't talked to her or told her anything.

"Not sure what you're talking about," you bluffed, typing away at your computer like she wasn't even sitting there.

"Cut the crap. I saw you buying a shiny new watch a few weeks ago. Aaron Ellis...Hotchner, was it?"

"Are you following me?"

"Oh, don't be so vain, everyone Christmas shops."

"Whatever. Who I buy things for is none of your concern," you told her, texting Emily from beneath the table to see if she was around. She wasn't, and neither was anyone else you texted, except for Derek Morgan, who assured you he was on his way as quick as possible.

"Scared I'm gonna hurt ya?" She teased, leg kicking yours beneath the table.

"Cut the shit, Lea. Back the fuck up. You're in my space and I don't have to deal with your shit," you normally didn't curse, but you were seeing red. She was one person who knew how to push your buttons.

"I don't think putting your hands on the fiancée of a federal agent is a very good idea," Morgan said calmly, his arms crossed over his chest. You hadn't even noticed him come in.

"A federal agent, huh? Fancy," Lea continued, statue-still in the seat across from you.

"Let's go mama," Derek told you, grabbing your laptop and asking the barista to make you a coffee to go.

"This isn't over, not until I find out what makes Aaron Hotchner so special," she glared at you, gathering her things and heading for the door before Derek could even hand your fresh cup of coffee to you.

"That girl is obsessed with you," Derek said, walking you out of the cafe and to your car.

"I haven't seen her since I moved in with Aaron, but apparently she's seen me. I think I'm going to go get Jack from school," you muttered to yourself, searching for your phone so you could text Aaron and make sure it was okay. Jack never missed school, so Aaron would immediately know something was going on.

"You don't think she'd do anything to hurt you, do you? Hotch would kill me if I let you leave here like this," he already had his phone out, calling Rossi to see what he should do. Aaron was calling you within minutes of Derek hanging up the phone.

"Listen to me," his voice was serious, calm, but terrifying. You were definitely listening.

"Derek's going to take you to get Jack. Go to my office, you have the key. Toss your phone as soon as we hang up. From now until I get back, you don't go anywhere alone, baby. JJ is at the house with a team, packing a bag."

"I don't think it's that serious, I just got freaked out."

"Derek does think it's that serious, and that's enough for me."

"Okay. I'm sorry, Aaron, I'm so sorry."

You didn't want to cry, but you couldn't help it. You were terrified and he was a literal ocean away from you. You were scared, but more than anything, you wanted him with you, and that was impossible.

"Don't apologize. I'm sorry. I should be there."

"You work, we'll figure this out," you assured him, giving Derek the honors of smashing your phone against the pavement.

The entire ride to Jack's school, your heart pounded. You prayed that she wouldn't do anything to hurt a child, but you didn't really know anything about Lea other than the fact that she thought you belonged to her because you were roommates. You finally calmed down for a little bit once you had him safely in the backseat, but it was short-lived after Derek received a disturbing call from JJ.

"Morgan. You're not serious? I... I gotta tell her, JJ. She's right next to me. Call Hotch. We're headed back now."

He ended the call, turning the radio up. You were only a few short minutes from the FBI academy where Aaron's office was located, so you rode in silence, knowing whatever he had to say could wait until Jack wasn't listening. The two of you followed him inside, and you didn't dare to speak until Aaron's office was unlocked and Jack was tucked safely inside, stepping into the hall to join Derek, Spencer, and Rossi.

"JJ just called, the whole house is bugged. Dust on the cameras and mics, so probably has been since she moved in," Derek said, and your first instinct was to turn sharply to make sure Jack was still behind the door where you left him. You were sick at the thought of someone, not just someone, Lea, spying on you, Aaron and Jack.

"It still isn't enough for a warrant. All Lea did was threaten her, we can't know anything for sure," Rossi said, and you nodded, feeling the blood rush to your head all at once. You were going to pass out, or be sick, maybe both. Just before you hit the floor, Derek grabbed you, leading you into Aaron's office so you could sit on his couch.

"He should be here, Derek," you whispered, head in your sleeve as you tried your hardest to calm down. Jack needed you to be strong and with Aaron so far away, it was your responsibility to make sure Jack stayed safe. You patted the space next to you, urging Jack to come and sit with you. He came gladly from his spot on the floor, library book in tow as he sat next to you.

"I know. But we're going to keep you safe until we figure out what's going on," Derek promised, setting the laptop up on a secure network so we could still watch Netflix, and not be bored out of our minds. A few episodes into a show Jack was watching and you were both asleep, curled up together on the couch.

✨✨✨

Aaron's POV

The amount of convincing it took for me to get Strauss to let me come home early basically sealed the deal on my transfer. She was going to make my life hell if I continued to work beneath her, and despite the respect I had for her and her position, she had a way of making my life harder than it had to be. I didn't really care where I ended up at this point, all I could focus on was getting home to Jack and Y/N.

It was bad, and the entire flight home, I knew it was only going to get worse. Y/N knew the house was bugged, but she didn't know about the cars being bugged, and Lea's criminal stalking record going back a mile long. Rossi and Spencer were working to find anything we could use to get a warrant, and in 6 long hours, I'd be landing in Virginia, ready to sort this mess out. I managed to get some sleep until we landed, feeling a lot better now that I had a fresh set of eyes. I'd be back in Quantico within the hour, and I didn't think Y/N even knew I was coming back yet, so I'd get to surprise them.

Keeping them safe was my number one priority. The entire situation gave me a bad feeling in my stomach; it was all too familiar. I prayed things didn't get out of hand to the point that I had to send her and Jack away from me. I was a nervous wreck, relieved to see Spencer waiting on me at the gate so he could deliver me to my office.

"Any news?"

"Jj has been keeping an eye on the apartment they shared but she hasn't been back. No motel check-ins under her driver's license, no plane tickets. Garcia is trying to find her now," he told me, making the drive short and sweet. Rossi put his finger to his lips as I walked past, shushing me before I could open the door. I crept inside, Jack asleep at Y/N's side, her arm pulling him in tight to her. She was awake as soon as I'd shut the door, eyes still bleary from sleep.

"You're home," she whispered, staying put so she didn't wake Jack. I kissed her softly, glad to finally be back on the same continent as her.

"I am, and after this, I won't be leaving anymore. We're gonna figure this out, and I'm walking away."

"Aaron," she warned, hand on my cheek as I sat on the edge of the couch next to her.

"I'm done having to leave my family and worry about them constantly. I've said it before, this is no way for you two to live. There's nothing you can say that will change my mind."

"If you're sure."

"I am. I'll grab you both something to eat, I'm gonna figure this out so we can go home."

I locked the door behind me, knowing she and I were the only ones with a key and made my way to the bullpen to see what the team had come up with so far.

"Lea Radcliffe, 29 years old. Degree in criminal studies, early criminal record. Shoplifting at 11, along with petty theft until her early twenties, that's when the stalking starts. Two restraining orders from two different women, all within 2 years," JJ explained, and you noticed no similarities in the two women before and Y/N now.

"Did the other two women live with Lea also?" Spencer asked, and JJ shook her head.

"Case notes say the first woman Lea met at school, and the second worked at a bar near campus," JJ said.

"So the university and the surrounding area is where Lea is meeting these women she's stalking. Does Y/N have a criminal justice background also? The first victim, Sara Thomas, was pre-law, and the second, Darla Louis was a police academy dropout. Lea has a type," Rossi observed, and I nodded.

"She has a criminal psychology degree."

"So that's the common factor. Easy enough to make a friend if you have similar school schedules and interests," JJ stated, looking over the corkboard for anything we might have missed.

"News, friends," Garcia announced, bouncing in with two different stacks of folders.

"Our girl Lea bought the cameras at a pawn shop the day she got back from Ohio and realized Y/N was gone. We also have her on Hotch's neighbor's security camera breaking in one night back in October. Is that enough for a warrant?" She asked, and we all nodded in agreement, gearing up to see what we could find in Lea's apartment that might tell us where she is while JJ got a judge on the phone.

"Garcia, keep digging on Lea, see if you can find any family nearby that could give us some insight on where she might be. Morgan and I will check the apartment, if there's something there that may lead us to Lea, we'll find it."

"There's something else, sir. Every month on the 15th, someone from Y/N's hometown wires 500 dollars into Lea's account. It's weird because Lea is from here. Y/N isn't."

"There's no way to trace the wire transfer?"

"No, sir, but if they stick to a schedule, whoever it is will be sending the money tonight."

"Good work, Garcia, see if you can find where she withdraws the money, her bank account statements for a withdrawal location, atm cameras, anything that'll give us a clue where she'll be tonight."

"Got it."

"Morgan, let's go. I'll check in on them before we leave." Before I could get far, Rossi was at my side.

"I'm going to stay behind, help Garcia. Keep my eye on them."

"You can help Reid with the geographic profile and find Emily while you're here," I suggested, knowing he would make sure Jack and Y/N stayed safe.

Emily hadn't been answering her cell, which worried me, but I had bigger problems to handle currently. Emily would be found.

When I peeked in this time, they were awake, watching tv on her laptop. Jack ran into my arms, hugging me tightly. Y/N joined him shortly after, her eyes rimmed red.

"I'm gonna grab some cash so I can get you guys to a hotel for the night," I told her, promising I'd be back after checking out Lea's place. I asked Reid to take them something to eat before I left, a tiny bit relieved that I could be home to figure this out myself.

"So who's the hometown fund?" Derek asked once we were alone in the car.

"Educated guess? Her mother."

"She not get along with her family?"

I shook my head, offering no further explanation. I prayed her past could stay a secret throughout this ordeal because she'd be devastated for everyone close to her to find out about her skeletons.

"There's someone snooping outside," he told me, gun up, telling whoever it was to get their hands on the ground. It was a young guy, no more than 18 if I had to guess.

"Don't shoot! Please! I'm not even sure I'm in the right place," he pleaded, voice with a similar tone to it.

I paused in my tracks. Surely it wasn't...

"I'm just looking for my sister," he told Derek, who still hadn't put the pieces together.

"Derek, let him up. That's Y/N's little brother."

"Wait, is she in trouble? Are you guys cops?"

Derek helped him to his feet and the resemblance made my blood run cold. They had strikingly similar features, his were just more sharp and masculine as opposed to her soft features.

Derek and I flashed him our credentials, explaining the situation as best we could without giving him too much information.

"Ironic that you're just now looking for her after all this has started," Derek mentioned, and he hung his head.

"I didn't exactly get to choose when our brother died, but she deserves to know, and she deserved to find out in person. Lea was the only one who knew where she was. I talked to Lea yesterday, she told me Y/N was still living here."

"How often do you talk to Lea?"

"I don't. She got ahold of me, told me Y/N wasn't handling the news well. I wasn't sure how she knew, considering I hadn't told anyone yet, so I got suspicious. It only happened two days ago," he told us.

"Sounds like our stalker has graduated to murder." Derek huffed, on the phone to tell the others the news.

"What does he mean, stalker? Is my sister okay?" He asked again, and I pulled him to the porch and away from Derek so I could talk to him privately.

"Your sister is okay. She's safe. But Lea is dangerous, and if you know where she is, your sister's life could depend on it."

"She mentioned she'd be out of town and we could join her if we felt like it. I have the address here," he showed me his phone, showing the address for somewhere I'd definitely been before because it was Rossi's cabin.

"Send Reid and Rossi," I told Morgan, finally asking Y/N's brother for his name.

"Thomas Bennett Y/L/N. I go by Ben though."

"When was the last time you saw your sister?"

He shrugged, head down as he tried to remember.

"A year and a half ago, right after I turned 18. She brought some money and said she was moving. Took us to our grandma's and that was the last time we saw her. She couldn't stop crying. She just said that she was sorry over and over. But she didn't do anything wrong. We know she had to have a life too," he told me, and my heart broke for both of them.

And now he was here to tell her their brother was dead.

"What happened to your brother?" I questioned, and he shrugged again.

"He left for school and we found him an hour later in the creek bed. They said he fell in and hit his head on a rock."

"We gotta go, Hotch. Lea's car was spotted two minutes ago gassing up and heading towards Rossi's place." Morgan announced, and I was dragging Ben along with us, instructing him to put his head down and stay down.

Sure enough, in plain sight, we found her at the gas station, Rossi already putting her into the back of a patrol car. It seemed almost too easy, especially considering she'd been silent for months, and now all of a sudden was coming around. After finding the cameras in the house and car, I was more ready to move than ever. I wasn't sure I'd ever feel safe leaving them in that house again.

I let Rossi and Reid handle the questioning while we took Ben to see his sister.

I was mentally preparing for what was to come. She raised these children like her own, took care of them. I feared she'd take this loss just like a mother would losing her own child.

"I think you should be the one to tell her. She doesn't want to see me," Ben told me, and I shook my head.

"That isn't true. She just knows that your mother knows your every move, and she's trying to keep herself safe."

He followed me to my office, where I went in to get Jack so I could give the two of them some privacy.

"Lea's with local PD for questioning. Rossi and Reid are there," I told her, realizing Jack was asleep in her arms yet again. I scooped him up, moving him to the opposite end of the couch.

"Baby," I said softly, pulling her up and into my arms. I just wanted to hold her and shelter her from every bad thing happening.

"What's wrong, Aaron?" She saw straight through me, eyes wide with fear.

"Ben's here. We found him looking for you outside of Lea's."

She just stared at me.

"He's here, right now?"

I nodded, leading her to the hall to see him. It was hard to judge her reaction at first, but the overwhelming relief that washed over her face was obvious as she pulled him in for a hug.

"I told you not to come looking for me," she cried, her embrace only tightening further when she felt his body heave with a heavy sob. It was heartbreaking to watch.

"I had to. Beau is dead, Y/N." He whispered, barely audible over the noise of the office, and all I could do was stand idle as the bomb dropped.

✨✨✨

You know how when you go from normal temperatures to extreme cold, and the way it sucks the air completely from your lungs? That's how you felt, the air being drained from your body as you fully absorbed what Ben was saying.

The sweet boy you  taught to read, write...taught everything he knew, he was gone.

You kept thinking, this has got to be as close to death as you can get without dying.

This has got to be a fucked up fever dream. Maybe you're still asleep on the couch with Jack. Maybe, just maybe, this isn't real.

But Aaron's arms pulling you into Rossi's office before you could crumble into the floor was the only reminder you needed that this was indeed real life.

Beau was gone, and you didn't even know what his face looked like as a 17-year-old boy. He'd been 15 when you last saw him, stuck in between phases of his body as he became a man.

Now he'd never be a man. He'd be perpetually 17, reduced to a wooden box before he even had a chance to experience living.

You couldn't breathe, your chest was on fire, and you were keenly aware of Ben and Aaron talking around you, but it was muffled as your ears rung continuously. How could they be talking right now? How could the world still be turning when you hurt like this? You were suddenly furious with the world's inability to stop moving, surely if everything was just quiet and still for a moment, you could gather yourself enough to make sense of things.

But this would never make sense to you, no matter what you did to silence the world. How long had you been gasping for air, struggling to focus your eyes on anything but the floor? Even that was blurry as your eyes stung with tears that didn't seem to have an end.

Aaron was in front of you, begging you to breathe. You didn't realize you weren't. You tried to slow the rapid thump of your heart, but it quite literally felt like it was breaking inside of your chest. You never knew loving and raising someone could hurt so much.

"Baby?" You tried to meet his gaze and failed, only catching a glimpse of him here and there through your tear-coated lashes.

"I'm okay," you don't know how you formed the words, but you were breathing, and that was a plus.

"I have a room at The Claremont, I'm not leaving until tomorrow. Make sure she finds me before then," Ben told Aaron, typing his number into Aaron's phone.

"Y/N? I love you," Ben said softly, and you gripped his arm in response. You loved him more than any words you could have said at that point.

"I love you." You choked anyway, terrified that something would happen between now and tomorrow, and you'd regret not actually saying it out loud.

Aaron was checking on Jack, leaving you alone in Rossi's office. You didn't realize she was even in the office today until she was at your side.

"I'm so sorry," Emily whispered against your hair, wrapping you in a tight hug. You were thankful for the contact in Aaron's absence, but honestly, you wanted to disappear into the floor. You weren't sure when and if you'd recover.

"Hotch is taking you and Jack to a hotel up the street for the night. Just... take it easy. Let him help you," she encouraged, and you nodded, only half-listening.

"Okay."

"Can you walk with me?"

You nodded, following Emily to Aaron's car, letting her help you into the passenger's seat. Jack was nestled in the back, sitting quietly. He had been quiet most of the day, and you assumed it was just because he was tired.

"Y/N?" He squeaked, causing you to turn and look at him from your spot in the front.

"Yes, buddy?"

"I love you."

There was nothing quite like the love of a child, especially one that you had no part in creating.

"I love you, sweet boy."

And that was it. He continued sitting patiently as his dad drove us down the street, not even realizing that he and his dad were the greatest things to happen to you in your life. You made a mental note to hold him a little tighter at bedtime, and every other time that he'd let you.

"I'm gonna check us in, I'll be back for you in a second," Aaron told you, leaving the engine running as he ran inside the hotel.

"Can I come to sit with you?" Jack was already unbuckling his seatbelt, something his father strongly disliked him doing, but you couldn't respond quick enough, he was already crossing the armrest and climbing into your lap. He laid his head on your shoulder, your cheek against the smooth skin of his forehead.

"I like it when you hold me. It reminds me of my mommy," he whispered, and you kissed his head softly.

"I know your mommy was the best mommy, but I hope you know I'll always be here for you, just like a mom would," you promised him and he looked up at you with those big, beautiful Hotchner eyes.

" My mommy would like that," he whispered, and you knew in your heart that Haley definitely would like that.

Aaron was joining you after a few more minutes, shooting you a loving look before grabbing Jack from you so he could carry him inside. He led you to a side entrance, the three of you taking a service elevator to the 4th floor. Once you were in the room, you realized it had a kitchenette and a living room.

"This may be home for a while," he said, settling Jack in the smaller room with the television. You quickly found the bag JJ had packed for him with your stuff, finding pajamas and his favorite Chewbacca stuffed animal. You'd asked Derek to make sure JJ grabbed it when she packed up. You took them to the room he was in, earning a hug from him in response. You left him to change, joining Aaron on the sofa.

"Thank you. For coming home." You told him, his arms wrapping around you from behind as you leaned into him.

"I would have come sooner, but Strauss gave me hell. I'm sorry I had to leave in the first place."

"You don't have to apologize to me for doing your job," you reminded him.

"I will apologize for not being here during something scary. Lea has been watching us for a long time. That's unsettling enough, not to mention everything else. I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now, and I hate the fact that I'd still be overseas right now if not for Lea getting involved. You'd be dealing with this alone, and I never want that for you."

You leaned back to kiss him, unsure of what to say. Part of you would never forgive yourself if he left his job. He loved his work. He was a hero, to Jack, to you. To everyone. You hated the thought of that being taken from him.

"I don't want you to regret leaving the BAU, and I especially don't want you to resent me for it," you confessed, causing him to sit up abruptly.

"This is my decision to make. I'm stepping down as Unit Chief, and that's all there is to it. I'll teach a profiling course at the academy, or work from the office. I can't keep missing my son's life. And I can't start a life with you if I'm not around. I'd never resent you for a decision that I'm making alone."

He seemed angry, and that's the last thing you wanted.

"I'm sorry. I just don't want you unhappy," you explained, and he sighed, running his hands through his hair before loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt, removing it.

"Then let me do this. I've missed enough."

You had told him you'd always support him in his career. You weren't about to stop now, especially if it meant having him around more. You just prayed he didn't regret it.

"I can't believe Beau is gone."

You didn't have any more tears to cry, so you opted to check on Jack, who was watching tv peacefully, oblivious to the horrors around him. You planned to keep it that way. He wanted you to see the show he was watching, something about a boy with superpowers. You had sat down on the bed when you heard the shower running, so you left Aaron alone, climbing into the bed with Jack to watch television.

"My daddy told me he loves you," he said randomly, eyes still trained on the tv.

"I love you both," you said simply, knowing Aaron had told him when we came home from the cabin that you were going to be together. He hadn't minded at all, if anything, he took it as an invitation to get closer to you. You loved every second of it, especially at times like this. He was a massive comfort, and you were always grateful to spend time with him. He was a human heater, just like his dad, causing you to get too cozy every time you cuddled up to him because you were asleep in no time.

✨✨✨

Aaron's POV

I came out of the shower and found them asleep for the third time all day. Jack knew something was wrong, and he had clung to her side since. She hadn't told him anything that was going on, but he could sense her sadness, and my sweet son wanted to be as close to her as he could get.

I didn't realize until I found them, her asleep next to him like she'd been doing it all her life how much Jack needed someone like her in his life. Losing Haley had been devastating for both of us, to the point I thought I may not recover. Sure, Jack had Jessica, but despite being Haley's sister, she lacked a certain motherly aspect that was necessary for Jack to have around.

Jack was so much happier with her around. He'd learned so much from her, from all the things they did in the kitchen and teaching him to read, she'd done it all gladly, every minute of it enjoyable to her.

She was like our personal ray of sunshine.

But it was obvious she was hurting, and I wasn't sure how to help her. I decided to let her sleep, leaving her with Jack as I crept into the living room area to call Rossi for any updates.

"She still isn't talking. But we know Y/N's mother is the one sending Lea the money. She's called Lea's phone nonstop since we've been questioning her."

"I'll see what Y/N is willing to tell me about her when she wakes up. We have 70 hours to hold her, let her sit until morning. I'm going to sleep with my family without having to worry about Lea roaming around," I told him, instinctively looking towards the room where they slept soundly.

"I don't blame you one bit. Call me if you need me. I'll be around."

The bed was entirely too small for the three of us, and I wasn't risking waking them up to move them to the bigger bed. So, I sat next to the bed, sleep creeping in quicker than I could get comfortable.

✨✨✨

Derek had taken Jack to school the following morning, Y/N didn't budge the first time all night long. I wasn't entirely sure what I should do, so I called Prentiss, hoping she'd be able to give me some help.

"How's she doing?" She didn't greet me, just expressed concern for her friend.

"I don't know. She's slept since we got here. I... I'm not sure I know what to do to help her," I confessed, sighing at the thought of hearing myself say it out loud. How in the world could I marry her if I didn't even know how to help her?

"She just needs time, Hotch. She raised Beau like her own child. You didn't see those boys when Y/N was a kid. They followed her everywhere. She was 11 years old putting Beau in a baby carrier every morning to take him places with her. That was her baby. What could anyone do for you if you lost Jack?"

"Nothing. I'd be inconsolable."

"Exactly. She needs time. Just make sure she knows you're there for her. That'll mean more to her than anything."

"I think I'll have Garcia come sit with her today. Keep her company."

"Hotch? She'd kill me if I told you this, but our periods are in sync. Could be why she's so tired."

"She quit her birth control over a month ago so-"

"She what?"

"Day after Christmas."

Silence. I wasn't sure why, but Emily seemed to be uncomfortable.

"Do you have any idea how screwed up her hormones probably are right now? She's been on the pill for years. Jesus, she's probably an absolute wreck. If it's okay with you, I'll come to sit with her for the day."

"I think that's a good idea. You don't think-"

"That's absolutely what I'm thinking, Hotch."

"Fuck."

"Yeah. Fuck is right. What did you expect to happen when she came off birth control?"

We knew we wanted to try, but the thought of her being pregnant this very moment...

"How fast can you get here?"

"15 minutes. I'll stop by a pharmacy."

Fuck.

taglist: @sammyrenae68 @insomniren @realdirectionx @ellamalfoypotter @deblou008 @ssamorganhotchner @dangerouslittlefairy @iamanironmanfan

#home//hotch #aaron hotchner #ssa aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner smut #aaronhotcnher #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #emily prentiss #david rossi #jj jareau #derek morgan #spencer reid #penelope garcia

[heliotropehotch]

as it was - a.h. x fem!reader

Request by @greenprisca​: Hi can I request a Hotch x reader fic! The reader is always there for hotch and jack (took care of them even when Haley was alive), but they both snap at her. Telling her she’s not Haley/his mom. (Y/N) takes a break from them and goes out with a brother or family member that’s a single parent, and the boys see it wrong.

a/n: i contacted tumblr a couple of days ago about my tag issues but i haven’t heard back. boosting this fic, if you like it, could really help tumblr fix whatever issue it’s having with my accounts. its very frustrating, and is making me not wanna post right now, so i might take a bit of time off while i wait for this issue to fix, and while i wait for more requests! ilysm thank you for your support!

Masterlist

author: abby <3

words: 1667

warning: fighting, yelling, mention of past character death

It shouldn’t have happened the way it did. 

The collapse of a perfect world was triggered by a caring act. The end of a long day, the whisper of words turned to shouts, love turned into regret. 

Aaron Hotchner had come back to his home late that night, the smell of dinner flooding through to his nostrils. He smiled, a gesture he missed when he was away on case. He called for Y/N, a presence he had hoped to see. Instead of the giggles of his son and her that usually met his eyes, he was met with quiet, so he headed to his son’s room.

She was moving to close Jack’s bedroom door, having just gotten him to sleep. Her eyes were tired, holding a sadness he had not seen in a long time. He quirked his eyebrow, moving to speak. She shook her head, a finger going to her mouth as she motioned him into the living room.

“How was your day, hun?” she sighed, stirring the pot of food she had made. 

“It was work,” he took his suit jacket off, draping it over a chair before hugging her body from behind. “Did something happen today?”

“I think you’ll need to talk to Jack tomorrow. He yelled at me tonight,” she said sadly, head swimming with thoughts.

“He did what?” he asked concerned, he hadn’t seen his son angry before. 

“I was just trying to put him to bed, but I guess he was having a hard time,” she spoke, recalling the hour before. “So I started humming that song Haley used to sing to get him to sleep, Hey Jude.”

“What?” His body tensed around hers as she continued speaking. 

“I don’t know.” She remained oblivious to his actions. “I thought it would help, but he just got more upset. He shouted saying I wasn’t his mom and started crying. I just held him until he fell asleep.” 

He retracted his arms from around her, hands curling into fists. “You’re not.”

She paused her movements to the dining room to set out plates for the both of them. She asked confused, “What?”

“You’re not his mom,” Aaron’s voice rang stern, anger boiling behind his steely eyes. “You’re not Haley. 

Y/N took a step back, scared of the tone, the implication of the words not said pushing against his lips. “Aaron,” her voice was confused, hurt. “I know that.”

“Then stop trying to act like you are.” He pulled his tie off, chucking it across the couch. “What made you think it was a good idea to do that? Stop trying to be more than what you are.”

“And what exactly am I?” Her voice became louder, not caring about the way it echoed through the hall. 

“A distraction,” he bit out, jaw clenched. “Nothing more than a sound to fill the silence.”

She huffed out a teary, dark chuckle, looking away from the man she’d give up everything for. She grabbed her things, keys jingling as her adrenaline began to wear. “Well, thank you, Hotch,” she bit out, a sarcastic smile on her face. “For having the decency to let me know now. Dinner’s on the fucking stove.”

The silence that was there before her hung in the air as he watched her shut the door, as she watched her leave.

The next morning, Jack Hotchner woke up rubbing sleep out of his eyes, clutching a stuffed animal Y/N had given him for his birthday. He frowned as he saw his father making breakfast in the kitchen.

“Daddy?” he pressed the fuzzy elephant to his chest. “Where’s Y/N?”

Aaron sighed at his son’s confused voice, setting the spatula he was using for pancakes down. He tried to mask his own emotions with the excitement of seeing his son. “Good morning, Buddy! Y/N went home for a bit, she had some other things to do.”

“But I thought this was her home.” Jack’s small little eyebrows furrowed with more confusion. 

“It is,” Hotch knelt down to get on his son’s level. “She just needed some alone time, bud.”

Jack’s eyes began to well up, striking his father’s heart. “Is it my fault?”

Aaron felt his stomach drop with guilt. “Of course not Jack.”

“But I yelled at her.” His lip quivered. “I said she wasn’t mommy.”

“I know buddy-”

“But I don’t care!” Jack was sobbing into his dad’s shoulder now. “I love Y/N, daddy.”

Aaron pressed his distressed son into his chest, shushing his cries against his casual shirt. His own heart ached with regret and words he wanted to take back. He admitted the words he had yet to say, as if to give himself some comfort. “I love her too, Jack. She’ll be back soon, I promise.”

After Jack had calmed down, Hotch decided to spend his day off trying to ease both of their minds. He took Jack to the zoo, carefully avoiding the elephants, and spent what felt like hours staring at the waddling penguins. Jack insisted on getting Y/N an apology stuffed penguin. Then he promised a trip to the park with what Jack called the ‘cool jungle gym.’ 

Jack ran towards the swings as Hotch reclined back into one of the park benches. He smiled to himself momentarily, as he watched his once sad son giggle with the other kids. His grin fell though, as he realized she should be enjoying the day with them. 

He wasn’t sure if Y/N would wait for him, and he honestly didn’t blame her if she didn’t. He had put her through so much, after having cared for both him and Jack when Haley died, and long before she passed as well. He loved Y/N but she couldn’t be blamed for being hurt at the things he had said, and would never mean. 

His eyes glazed over the park, letting out a solemn sigh at the peacefulness that contrasted the interior of his heart. And then he saw her.

Her arms were wrapped around a man, one Hotch hadn’t remembered seeing before, although it felt familiar. Around her own legs, a boy, about Jack’s age, had clung himself to Y/N’s knees, looking up pleadingly. The sweet smile he thought was reserved for his family had worked its way across her face. He almost missed his own son bounding up to where he had planted himself on the bench. 

“Daddy?” Jack called out. “What are you looking at?”

“Hmm?” Hotch said distractingly.

“Who are those people with Y/N? Doesn’t she wanna hang out with us?” Aaron was too preoccupied, watching Y/N pressed a kiss to the man’s cheek. 

“Can I go say hi to her?” he pleaded, tugging on his dad’s hand. 

“Not now, Jack,” he sighed, pulling his now pouting son into his lap. “I think she might be busy, bud.”

Days had passed, without a word from Y/N. Aaron had picked up the phone hundreds of times at that point, wanting to say anything to bring her back into their lives. He had been relying on Jess for help taking care of Jack when he was at work, and had therefore endured a lecture he knew he deserved. 

He got in his car to drive home, sighing at the empty passenger seat next to him. His eyes landed on the stuffed penguin he had bought to please Jack. He sighed once more, knowing he had to do something. 

The front door of Y/N’s apartment was daunting, unfamiliar. It wasn’t like he hadn’t been to her place before, but Jack was right when he said their place was her home. She had basically moved in with them, so the varnish that covered the wooden door only seemed threatening of the barrier he had been putting up. He raised his fist, and knocked on the door. 

Her eyes widened at the distraught man in front of her, promptly turning into a frown with the recognition of Hotch. She moved to close the door again. 

“Y/N, please,” he begged, stoic expression long gone. “I’m sorry.”

“Aaron-”

“I don’t expect you to forgive me. I hurt you, I know that. But I didn’t mean it.” She stood still, allowing him to speak, and he took a step closer to her, reaching for her hand. “I love you, Y/N. You were never a distraction, only a relief. There’s so much I couldn’t have done with you by our side. We both know you’re not Haley, but I like you better as you are, as someone who cares for my kid like her own, as someone who cares for me when I forget to do it myself.” 

Her hiccups of tears flooded the silence that came when he paused, his hand moving up to her cheek. “If I could take it all back, before I said those words, I would in an instant. Just as it was, just as you were. I just hope you still hold your love for me after what I’ve done.”

Her arms wrapped around his neck, pressing his nose into her neck as he breathed her in. She sighed, relieved to have one of the Hotchner’s back in her arms. “I love you, Aaron, even when you decide to act like a dick.”

He chuckled against her, squeezing her body against his before pulling back. Brushing away her tears again, he kissed her forehead, making a promise to himself that he wouldn’t let her go again. Her giggle, brought him out of his soft trance.

“Did you bring me a penguin?”

He smiled sheepishly, pressing the stuffed animal into her palm. “Jack got it as an apology gift to you.”

She pressed it against her chest, clutching it the same way his son had days before. “That’s one sweet kid you’ve got there.”’

“One who desperately wants to see you,” he chuckled again.

“Well,” she said, grabbing her purse and keys. “Let’s go home then.”

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #hotch #thomas gibson #jack hotchner