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frickinsleepdeprived · 1 year

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Hashira's favorite Genre of Music

Here's what I think the demon slayer Hashira's would listen to hope y'all enjoy the first headcanons-

Muichiro Tokito: Muichiro is definitely a bit of an airhead (at least before he met Tanjiro). With that said, he gives me a lot of "no thoughts, head empty" kind of vibes. Therefore, I think his favorite genre of music would probably be lo-fi or just a song's instrumental. I think it would just give him something to listen to as he wanders about, staring at the clouds or just spacing out in general. It also serves to calm him down after a long day of training or battling demons.

Mitsuri Kanroji: This sweet girl has been through a lot, but with that said she doesn't let the music she listens to define her mood. I'd imagine Mitsuri likes to listen to a lot of music that she can simply dance around to, without a care in the world of what anyone else thinks of her. Perhaps she listens to Katy Perry, Ariana Grande, or maybe even Avril Lavinge. Now while this may come of as a very girly thing to say, I think it's extremely befitting for her. Mostly because she got tired of chasing a suitable match. And yes while her method behind becoming a demon slayer was to find a husband, I don't think that would stop her from loving herself. So I think she would listen to artists like this to hype herself up for the day and get her in the right mindset each morning.

Obanai Iguro: Given that Obanai is a rather cold person, and he doesn't really like interacting with anyone other than Mitsuri, he would probably take a liking to her favorite style of music. But ultimately, he wouldn't listen to it often because he finds it to be annoying at times. (However I do think he'd take a liking to Katy Perry because of the way she sings). As for his own taste in music, Obanai is definitely a Pierce the Veil fan, maybe even a fan of Sleeping with Sirens or possibly Fallout Boy. Because he has such a hard time interacting with other people, more specifically women (the exception being Mitsuri of course), he would definitely find some comfort in bands like that. Some of his favorite songs might include "Bulls in the Bronx", "Kick Me", and "Thanks for the mmrs" He especially dedicated the song "If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn" to his and Mitsuri's bond.

Sanemi Shinazugawa: Sanemi is definitely a hot headed individual, dare I say he's the Bakugou of the demon slayer universe, but that's not the point. Sanemi has been through a very horrific past, having killed his mother due to her turning into a demon to save his one remaining brother, Genya. Therefore he lashes out quickly and is swift to want to fight people, or more notably demons, at any given chance. With that said though, he's more than likely gonna listen to something heavy, something that can truly weigh into how he feels so that he knows someone can relate. I'd imagine Sanemi would listen to Three Days Grace, Papa Roach, possibly even Breaking Benjamin. He might even throw in a little bit of Shinedown or even Disturbd. The reason being is simply because these bands allude heavily to feelings of guilt, abandonment, frustration, anger, etc. To have Sanemi know that there's something or someone out there that understands how he feels, it helps him put his mind at ease and calm down, if only for a few moments.

Gyomei Himejima: Gyomei is the embodiment of a living teddy bear; hulking in size yet extremely gentle due to his upbringing. He cared for orphans, grew up extremely religious, and is blind. He was constantly bullied throughout his childhood because of said blindness, and was often told he was faking it because he is able to see the transparent world. He's more empathetic towards others and I definitely see him being an older brother towards the other hashiras. With that said, like Muichiro, Gyomei might enjoy calming lo-fi, or maybe even nature ambiances. Given that he's more in tune with nature than some of the other hashiras, he'd probably just enjoy the sound of a rushing waterfall, the birds chirping, and the wind blowing. When he needs to unwind he listens to lo-fi, taking in the rhythms to help calm himself down. Truly a wholesome man indeed.

Giyuu Tomioka: He's a rather unbothered person, at least on the surface. He doesn't really have a deep hatred for demons (hence why he let Nezuko live), also being extremely reserved and frankly, very shy. It's said he has quite the inferiority complex and suffers from survivor's guilt. However, despite his stoic nature he's known to be very caring towards those he truly trusts and cares for, and gets relatively upset and very angry when the ones he cares for are in danger. Hell, this man's haori is made from half of Sabito's (his late best friend) haori, combined with half of his older sister's haori. With all of that said though, I have a feeling this guy would enjoy artists like The Arctic Monkeys, Penelope Scott, Hozier, and Evanescence. He only listens to music for appreciation, knowing that someone worked hard to put such things out into the world. Plus, like the other hashiras, he appreciates the fact that there's music out there that relates to how he feels internally.

Shinobu Kocho: Though she may display a demeanor of being very friendly, caring, giving, and even motherly - all of that is simply a facade. It's only there to disguise her true colors, as she likes to make fun of people to the point of being sadistic (which I would imagine only happens if they truly deserve it). She also uses said facade to cover up a lot of rage within her. Having lost her older sister, her parents, the entirety of her tsuguko under her training, and her apprentice's families to demons, she naturally harbors a lot of hatred towards demons. (Even going as far to try and kill Nezuko, before Giyuu mentioned the Kamado sibling's situation). With that said, she still harbors a motherly side to her for Kanao's sake, given that she is Shinobu's adoptive younger sister. All of that aside though, I think she would like a lot of the same music as Giyuu, given how close they are. (I headcanon they often share headphones together). Aside from liking Giyuu's taste in music, she might take a liking to bands like Halestorm, Seether, Breaking Benjamin, and possibly even Scene Queen. Scene Queen mainly due to her sadistic humor, it gives her something to relate to knowing that someone can be just as unhinged as she can be. As for the others, it goes back to a reason like Sanemi's; those feelings of anger, guilt, frustration, and shame are often portrayed in their songs. She'll often listen to music when she's extremely angry or emotional, crying as she listens to the words she could never say herself.

Kyojuro Rengoku: Firstly let me just say this man is boisterous at best, in a good way of course. Rengoku is a man of character, always having something positive to say and never having a negative outlook on even the most stressful of situations. The majority of his morals and principles of respect being instilled by his mother at a young age. Despite his father being exceptionally cruel and apathetic towards him, Rengoku doesn't seem to let that get him down. I'd say it only serves as more motivation to do better, and he uses this motivation to help his brother Senjuro by believing in him and uplifting him no matter what. But despite his cheerful demeanor, he's actually rather intelligent and tactically skilled on the battlefield. Naturally he despises demons, like any other hashira. However that doesn't stop him from having good faith in Nezuko, accepting her as part of the slayer corps. after he realizes that she's not going to turn malicious. Therefore, I'd imagine that unlike his fellow hashiras, he'd listen to something more uplifting and positive much like Mitsuri. Artists like The Score, Imagine Dragons, and maybe even EDM artists like David Guetta and Steve Aoki. It's more than likely that he'd listen to music while doing solo training. It helps him focus, plus the uplifting lyrics of the songs help him look forward to the day ahead of him and those days afterwards. He'll even share his playlist with his tsuguko if they're having a hard time.

Tengen Uzui: Ah yes, this flashy flamboyant man had to be saved for last lol. However, his life wasn't all that flashy to begin with. Having grown up in a clan of Shinobi ninjas, he was always taught that the mission should be fulfilled above anything else, self preservation comes last. Basically, if you die, you die. After he married his wives, and was pitted against his siblings in masked death matches, which lead him to unknowingly killing two of his siblings. He got into a heated argument with his father over killing his siblings, and ultimately put his sword down and took his wives with him to pursue a life of their own design. And once he did, he vowed to always protect those he loves, and made his wives swear to put their lives first, then those of innocent civilians, and then finally himself. A nice recipe for a flashy life indeed, and for a flashy life and flashy man he obviously listens to the flashiest of playlists. I'd imagine that he'd listen to artists like Britney Spears, Nicki Minaj, Ariana Grande, Ke$ha, Rihanna, Beyonce, etc. Truth be told, it would probably be his wives that compiled the playlist. But he'd add on some Meghan Thee Stallion or Cardi B on there, just for some added bass. He just loves being carefree with his music, it didn't need to be anything serious. In his eyes, music is for enjoyment and if you can relate, well that's just an added bonus.

~ Hope you guys enjoyed! Lmk what you wanna see next

#KNY #mitsuri kanjiro #obanai iguro #gyomei himejima #giyuu tomioka #tokitō muichirō #sanemi shinazugawa #kyojuro rengoku #uzui tengen #shinobu kocho #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny headcanons #demon slayer headcanons #kimetsu no yaiba headcanons

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thyandrawrites · 2 years

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I wasn't sure whether to ask you this now or Sunday but what did you think of the chapter? I liked it for the most part but I would love to get your thoughts.

So, to start off, I need to make something very clear: I think both brothers are wrong about and unfair to each other. I don’t mean any of what follows as a slight on either of them. I think it makes sense, considering both their backgrounds and the things they know about the other to make the kind of hurtful assumptions and dismissive remarks about each other’s baggage that they show in this chapter. But for the sake of analyzing why they just can’t seem to reach an understanding yet, I will go over both their mindsets and try to break down exactly why I think they’re both wrong.

If that’s not your cup of tea, please do value your sanity and skip out on reading this post. What follows is my take, and I will ask everyone to please respect it as such.

So, without further ado. [under a cut for length. grab some popcorn]

Let’s start with a simple concept. Dabi and Shouto have baggage. Both grew up in an abusive home, and though their experiences aren’t a 1:1 equivalent, both kids ended up developing a very strong belief system that they stick to with almost fervent drive. I believe that these strong beliefs are what are making it hard to see each other’s viewpoint. Currently, they both seem to be trying to make sense of how the other could end up like this by comparing them to… well, themselves.

A necessary introduction: explaining Dabi and Shouto’s personal beliefs

What motivated Shouto to help out his brother was noticing that Dabi was stewing in a spiral of hatred and thoughts of revenge similar to Shouto’s own struggle at the beginning of the series. However, because of this, I think he started seeing Dabi as what Shouto himself could’ve become if he hadn’t gotten support from class A and his family. And while this might or might not be true, it makes Shouto believe that the way he got out of that spiral will automatically work for his brother as well. I will go over why I think that in a moment.

As for Dabi, he has such a disparaging opinion of his little brother because he can’t fathom how Shouto could not want the things Touya desperately longed for as a child. What he says here:

is very telling. It seems that for all the things about his upbringing that Dabi rejects, he still hasn’t gotten rid of the mentality Endvr raised him with: when Touya and Shouto were small, he used to tell them that they lived in “different worlds” than regular people. The “world of heroes,” an elite space separate from the concerns of regular people. Of course, by the time he tells Shouto this, the words have become an excuse. A way for Enji to justify the isolation he forced on his youngest in order to make him as strong as he could be, as well as an excuse to keep training him in spite of Touya’s death.

But Enji’s relationship with Touya started out differently enough for the words to solidly take root in Touya’s psyche. Till now, Dabi still holds on to this idea that he was made to be this strong. Even as he fights his brother, he keeps comparing the strength of their quirks and calling his superior. When AFO’s surgeries weakened his body and thus his potential, Touya spent years trying to catch back up even if it meant collecting burns that would’ve killed anyone else.

The way he clings to this idea that he needs to prove that he’s strong is obsessive, unhealthy. It’s the result of Enji raising him with toxic expectations. Back when Touya was a child, Enji really believed him to be the key to achieving his lifelong obsession. He told Touya that he was the bridge that would close the distance between himself and All Might. All that was made possible by Touya’s quirk, one that surpassed Enji’s own strength.

Dabi took that to heart. He was lucky enough to be born the heir of Endvr’s legacy as a top ranked hero, and with an inherent potential that set him apart from others, from regular citizens. No one, not even his dad, could ever best All Might. But Touya was raised with the expectations that he could. That he would, in fact. Unlike others who only looked at heroes on TV and decided to pursue that career, Touya was already living in the house of the then number two. When other kids collected figurines and played video games, Touya was already cultivating his talent to eventually enroll in a hero school. Becoming one was his raison d’être, and he was supposed to be handed the tools to hone it to perfection. In that sense, he truly belonged to a separate world.

Yet, he proved to be “defective” before he could capitalize on that potential (which, not coincidentally, is why he gets mad at Shouto for wasting his).

Once Touya’s purpose was stripped away from him, he tried moving on with his life like everyone else, but that didn’t — couldn’t — work. Being raised with the idea that he only existed to fulfill his father’s ambition, Touya didn’t have the tools to adapt to an existence without that goal. As a result, he couldn’t mesh well with his classmates because he couldn’t relate to them. They had aspirations, goals, wants of their own; he was brought to life to fulfill his father’s.

Touya could see that he was different from other kids his age, too. For one, his family wasn’t normal. Enji didn’t marry for love and he didn’t choose his wife’s quirk at random. Touya and Shouto weren’t normal kids. Everything about their conception was a transaction, and their entire existences had been shaped by it.

Additionally, Touya’s awareness of the circumstances of his birth set him even more apart from others. Because of that awareness, he could see everything wrong with his family, and tried to address it. But the more he kept at it, the more his peers drew away from him and gave him the feeling that those around him couldn’t understand him. This is why for example we see him yell at Rei and Fuyumi for not getting why moving on isn’t an option for him — not when the thing he needs moving on from is his own DNA — or why he crawls to Natsuo for validation but gets upset when his brother “tells him to buzz off too.”

This perceived divide influences his actions as an adult as well. Despite sharing similar backstories with the League, he never confides in them, and even acts distant on accounts on how different he thinks they are. He calls Toga a nutjob, he doesn’t care about Shigaraki’s goals, and he refuses to admit the League was ever anything other than a stepping stone for him.

With the broadcast, we see Dabi attempt to bridge that distance for the first time. By his own admission, he wants people to understand why he made certain choices. Yet, he’s met with indifference and more scapegoating. The public doesn’t care about his reasons. He wanted them to think more critically about heroes. Instead they call Dabi annoying and they go back to giving support to Endvr and Hawks like the crimes Dabi just exposed them for were water under the bridge.

As a result, I think that Dabi convinced himself that people won’t ever listen, let alone understand. All they want to do is smile and laugh in the face of other people’s suffering, to paraphrase what he tells Toga not much later. They don’t want to think critically about the system and reform it. They only care about being reassured that everything’s okay. Or that it will be okay after the remaining heroes clean up this mess and restore the old status quo.

The fact that the public only wants stability — even if it’s just superficial peace that rests on wider, unaddressed societal issues — is well established by canon, by the way. It’s pretty transparent both in the press conference chapter and in the aftermath, when UA becomes a fortress and there are tensions between civilians and heroes that AFO attempts to exploit. And during the broadcast, Dabi made it a point of addressing exactly this type of audience. The people who, as he told Tokoyami, “stopped thinking for themselves.” Those who mindlessly go with the flow, with no personal conviction of their own. In other words, the feckless followers who only want heroes to take charge so that the regular citizens don’t have to examine if their system is even still effective at keeping up with a changed social landscape.

What does this huge tangent have to do with Shouto and the newest chapter, you’re probably wondering.

I think that Dabi resents that Shouto, quote, “holed up at UA with those scared little civilians,” because of everything I just went over.

Why would Shouto depend on others when he, too, was born different from them? Like him, Shouto was brought to life to fulfill his father’s ambition of besting All Might. Like him, he was set apart from everyone else by the purpose placed upon his conception. But unlike him, Shouto was gifted with the perfect mix of circumstances that Dabi didn’t have: the perfect melange of quirks his father wanted; a body that wasn’t at odds with said quirk; years of training under Endvr, who never looked away from him the way he did with Touya.

The fact that Dabi mentions birth is especially crucial here: he’s not simply envious because Shouto is better at everything than him. He’s furious because his father has validated Shouto’s existence, unlike Touya’s, and yet Shouto doesn’t seem to regard that for the blessing it is (for Dabi, that is. To Shouto, the attention was just a curse. Not that Dabi realizes that).

Shouto’s skills are such that he was never removed from his destiny — from the world of heroes. He’s not a failed creation, and as such he still has purpose.

Meanwhile, Touya feels not only forgotten about, but even erased from existence itself. Enough so that he thinks he needs to destroy himself and his father in order to “leave a mark in this world”. In order to prove he existed.

We now know that everything for Touya was an uphill battle. His father gave up on him. AFO gave up on him. The whole of Japan gave up on him. Only Dabi ever believed in himself, and yet, that never seemed to be enough. So when he sees Shouto ambling through life and following all the steps laid out for him, he gets bitter he wasn’t given the same chance and takes that misplaced anger out on his little bro, who has nothing to do with the neglect Dabi went through.

All the talking down he does in this chapter proves that while Dabi thinks he understands Shouto, in fact, he doesn’t even know him. He might’ve watched his little brother’s achievements from afar, but he doesn’t know Shouto’s intimate struggles with his legacy and with forming his own worldview.

Mistakenly, Dabi convinces himself that Shouto doesn’t have a belief system of his own. Since Touya was able to recognize the corruption of heroic ideals and of modern society from a very young age, he expects Shouto to do the same. But his little brother never came to reject the current system like him. Despite having experienced similar abuse, despite knowing first-hand how heroes aren’t always morally upstanding, Shouto still believes in heroes.

Dabi takes this to mean that Shouto is just another feckless follower who defends the current status quo without questioning it. This is why he assumes that Shouto is fully his father’s puppet: going where the number one tells him to, emulating his father down to the way Enji conceives heroes — only as strong fighters who simply defeat villains, defending the establishment with no deeper thought into what they’re doing.

It goes without saying that this reading is entirely wrong and unfair and pointlessly cruel.

In truth, Shouto’s never been his father’s pawn. In fact, he’s tried to oppose Endvr’s will any way he could. Every time Shouto happened to go along with one of Enji’s wishes, he always set down boundaries and made it very clear that he wasn’t doing it for Endvr. So for example, even if Shouto went along with the training, it was because Shouto wanted to be a hero like All Might. Even if he used the paths Enji opened for him, like the recommendation for UA, he still fought at his own conditions, only using his ice. Or again, when he accepted that he needed to work on both sides of his quirk, he only interned for his dad to exploit his long experience in the field, not because he wanted to blindly follow in his footsteps or put water under the bridge.

Fast forward to this chapter again. Dabi accuses Shouto of being here only because he’s Endvr’s puppet, obeying orders like all the sidekicks from the agency. But Shouto chose to be here, and the reason why is important because it perfectly shows his personal growth.

Shouto’s belief system boils down to a very simple concept. Letting people die when you can act and save them is wrong. Saving lives is a hero’s job and moral imperative. It always takes priority over anything else, even the law.

So Shouto can’t ignore Dabi and keep trying to be a hero anyway. That literally goes against his definition of what a hero even is. He has the capacity to intervene, to act, and stop his brother. So he does. Even if he has to put his life on the line. A hero is always willing to risk himself, his career and even his reputation to do the right thing and make a difference.

I’ll admit that putting it that way it sounds no different from Deku’s “my body moved on its own” idealization of pure heroic martyrdom. And in a sense, they do have common grounds. That makes sense since both of their conceptualizations stem from their admiration of All Might. All Might is the physical embodiment of that mindset: he’s a rescue hero who elected self-sacrifice as the pinnacle of selflessness and compassion. But in Shouto’s case, it’s a bit more complex and less black and white.

Shouto didn’t start his heroic career off on the right foot. At first, he had a lot of anger that got out at unexpected times. Once he realized that his hatred for his dad made him a worse person and thus a worse hero, though, he willingly made the choice to change.

Here he’s clearly referencing his own mindset prior to reconnecting with his mother. Back then, he didn’t concern himself with other people, and didn’t even give them a second glance, thinking he was above them. After his confrontation with Inasa, he realized that this mentality made him act too similarly to his father, and he wasn’t okay with that. I'm stressing that last part because it's important.

Shouto spent a good portion of his early life believing in predetermination. Growing up in an abusive household, he developed the fear that he would one day end up hurting others the way his father hurt Rei.

this was a big factor in why he struggled to accept his father’s training. He started associating his fire side with his father’s cruelty, and rejected it as a result. He thought that using it meant giving in to Enji’s will and following in his footsteps, but he didn’t want to be cruel like him.

After making peace with his fire side, though, he abandoned those ideas. Reconnecting with Rei and recovering the memory of her encouragement shifted something in him. He no longer believes in predetermination and instead embraces personal responsibility. In Rei’s words, Shouto’s not bound by his blood. His DNA and family circumstances don't doom him to continue the cycle of abuse. Shouto has agency to change his fate. He has the ability to make his own choices, and he can choose to be a better person than his old man.

From that point on, then, Shouto does just that. He rejects violence as a way to solve problems, and instead attempts to tackle them his own way. If up until the sport festival he only cared about excelling and coming on top of his competition, now he starts developing his own opinions on heroism and ethics. He decides that he doesn't want to be powerless again, like when he was five and Rei got unwell and then taken away from him. Swearing to become a hero who can actually help others, he vows to not let people within his reach slip away from him if he can do something about it.

This is why, for example, when he senses Tenya going down a dark path, he follows him till Hosu and offers him the same words that helped him. Choose the man you want to become. Don’t go down the path of revenge. Choose to be the bigger person, and stick to it. Even when you let yourself down and betray your values, pick yourself back up and do better from then on.

This philosophy is called personal responsibility. That is, the belief that individuals cause their actions and can thus control their destiny instead of passively suffering it. According to it, when individuals fail to meet expected standards, they don’t have to look for an external cause to blame, but direct that blame toward themselves and take accountability.

To Shouto, making your own choices and taking responsibility for them is comforting. It reassures him that cruelty is not automatically inherited like he originally feared, but always a choice. Thanks to this change in mindset, he was able to come to terms with his legacy and make peace with himself, so it goes without saying that he'd become an advocate for it. It helped him, so it should help others as well.

Right?

The problem with personal responsibility

Here, Shouto's clearly trying to push his brother to live by the same philosophy. This speech bubble is an obvious callback to what Dabi said during the war arc, equating his flames to their dad's to make Endvr partially responsible for Dabi's actions. This is Shouto's response. Dad went crazy, our home was shit, but you cannot blame your actions on someone else because at the end of the day it was you who burned those people to death, not father.

Now, I want to point out that Shouto's not condemning his brother's actions from a perceived higher moral ground. He's not saying "You're irredeemably evil and deserve punishment for your actions that I shall now deliver." I believe that interpretation to be a misreading of Shouto's character. It contradicts Shouto's core belief, the idea that people can change, and can choose to do a complete 180, because Shouto himself did one too.

However, I also think that Shouto’s words fall completely flat here for two reasons that I will now explain.

For one, Shouto’s demanding that Dabi owns up to his actions, but at the same time he’s giving Endvr a free pass to keep ignoring his eldest for the greater good.

Now, don’t get me wrong. In the context of a war, it makes sense for Enji to be deployed against AFO. They need his manpower. The hero ranks were thinned down in the previous war and Endvr remains one of their strongest fighters. Shouto knows this, of course. Back in chapter 56, during the first internship arc, he recognized that his father has the judgment and insight worthy of a top hero, so Shouto recognizes that Endvr’s experience in the field is valuable when it comes to hero work.

So, it makes tactical sense for Endvr to be there instead of facing his son. But thematically? Not so much. The central conflict in Endvr’s character arc is that he always runs away instead of facing the consequences of his actions, and that he hides behind hero work to skip out on his duty as a parent.

And the thing is, the narrative draws attention to this as well. Insert meme here: [heartbreaking: the worst person you know just made a great point]

AFO is a piece of shit, and he always greatly delights in twisting the truth, but what he says here is right on the money. Endvr IS dumping the weight of cleaning up his own messes onto his youngest son. The fact that Shouto apparently suggested it doesn't change the fact that Endvr is still doing what he’s always done: punching villains instead of caring about the wellbeing of his family.

Now, I don’t want to be unfair to Shouto’s character and apply selective reading. It’s not ooc for Shouto to be okay with Enji dealing with AFO, per se. Connecting to what I said earlier, Shouto believes that a hero’s moral imperative is that of saving lives. By his own admission, Enji is a shitty father but a passable hero. One with good battle sense, at the very least. When he’s fighting, he knows what he’s doing. It’s not a stretch to think Shouto wants Enji to stop AFO because he knows the threat AFO presents to civilians, and doesn’t want more innocents to die in the crossfire. In this light, Shouto would be okay with letting him do his usual Number One shtick for the same reason he was okay with letting his dad stay a hero without ever exposing him for the abuse: Enji is a good hero, and what he does helps people.

However, my problem is not with Shouto as a character, but with the overall narrative of the Todofam, and how it often fails to deliver on its own set up.

Before this arc, there was a great deal of focus on how Shouto got his father to agree that they would save Touya together. But in 351 we find out what that actually means: how is Enji defeating AFO in any way related to rescuing Touya? It’s not. Splitting up to fight on two different sides of a battle is the opposite of what doing something “together” means.

Now, I would understand the point of choosing to do things this way if splitting up had been Endvr’s choice, or otherwise the result of the heroes’ planning. Putting it like that works with the narrative. It shows that the old guard of heroes still isn’t ready for systemic change, because they’re not ready to critically re-examine their own flaws. It works because unlike them, the kids already have a set up as the harbingers of that change, the ones who will succeed even if no one believes that rescuing villains is even possible.

But if Endvr wanted to face Touya and only didn’t because Shouto insisted he shouldn’t, then Endvr’s cowardice gets reframed as mindfulness of Shouto’s wants. What is effectively continued neglect of his eldest suddenly gets framed as heroism instead, because Enji’s doing something morally good — he’s saving Japan from AFO.

Besides, showing Endvr’s reluctance to agree with this plan despite the fact that he does go along with it, only cheapens the narrative of personal responsibility further. Why is Dabi being ethically condemned as selfish for choosing to murder, but suddenly letting Endvr skip out on his parental duty is not his choice but Shouto’s and thus completely out of Endvr’s control?

See what I mean? It’s pretty ineffective writing all around. Endvr is getting sympathy, but Dabi isn’t, when in fact, both should be held accountable for their actions.

But I mentioned two reasons why I think Shouto’s words to Dabi fall flat. The second is because of this other line:

The heroes seem to be working under the assumption that villains can be “stopped” so long as they are talked into changing their methods. Toga would be a “normal” girl with a crush if she just stopped hurting the people she loves. Shigaraki would be the poor, misunderstood victim that Nana left behind, if he stopped it with all the atrocities. Dabi would return to being Touya-nii, if he stopped being a “baka aniki” and dragging people in his range of destruction.

But of course, it’s not that simple. Putting it like that ignores that the issue the villains are fighting against is systemic. It cannot be solved by simply changing the actions of individuals.

The official release translated Shouto’s line as “you’re not taking any more innocent lives.” However, for the sake of this argument, I want to focus on the nuance of that adjective. In his original phrasing, Shouto calls them “kankeinee hitotachi,” which actually means “people who have nothing to do with [something].” Coupled with what he says next, “aim all your rage at us,” the meaning becomes clear. He’s urging his brother to stop involving people who had no role in their family drama in his revenge plot. Dabi’s issues are with their father and him, so he should just focus on taking it out on them alone. In this sense, everyone else is innocent. Unrelated to the problem.

Now, that is simultaneously true and false. On the one hand, Dabi’s victims weren’t personally responsible for the abuse Dabi went through (with maybe the exception of the Flower man in AFO’s lab, assuming he’s dead). On the other hand, though, people outside of the Todoroki family aren’t completely blameless, and acting as though they are is the exact wrong thing to say if Shouto wants to actually connect with his brother.

See, the thing is, the public that watched Dabi’s broadcast put their faith onto Endvr despite being an abuser but called his victim annoying for wanting justice. As I went over above, they don’t care about the people that the system screws over in order to maintain the peace for the masses. In fact, they want to restore that system and go back to feeling reassured that the heroes have everything under control.

I’m stressing this because Shouto and Dabi need different things to come to terms with their trauma. While Shouto might be satisfied with letting his dad keep his job because to him change is demonstrated through personal penance, Dabi wants more accountability from the system itself, because they all backed up his dad. Even after learning the truth about the domestic violence, they all chose to bury their heads into the sand and called Dabi a liar. Because Endvr is good at his job, they all collectively decided to give him a second chance without consequences. In fact, the country doesn’t even know that Enji vowed to atone to his family. He never told them. During the press conference, he just asked them to believe in him as a hero, and they all did. For all the public knows, Enji could still be an abuser. How are they not enablers?

The issue is systemic. Individuals might choose personal responsibility but that won’t make a dent if the system itself is corrupted.

Does this mean Dabi should have killed people? Does it mean he’s justified? Of course not. His trauma doesn’t give him a free pass for killing. Shouto’s right that he shouldn’t have murdered randos just to get back at their father, but he’s wrong in thinking that only villains should own up to their violence. Heroes should as well. The whole system could use some more acceptance of their own flaws.

Lately, I get the sense that heroes are determined to “stop” the villains before they can save them. While this sounds perfectly logical on paper, I find the resulting approach to be ineffective. I agree that the villains need stopping; this rampage is both destructive and self-destructive. It benefits no one. But the heroes entered this second war with a mindset of soldiers when their goal (or at least, the OG trio goal) is more akin to that of social workers. Deku wants to save Shigaraki from AFO’s abuse. Shouto wants to get past Dabi’s hatred and bring Touya home for noodles. Ochako wants Toga to smile instead of crying. Their goals involve compassion, but their methods employ suppression. They’re simply not listening yet. And that’s the problem.

Utilitarian heroism might’ve solved problems in the past, but it’s outdated for the evolved problems the story’s depicting now. To make an easy example, punching Shigaraki and telling him how bad a victim he is won’t resolve the possession, because AFO’s control on Shigi is based on his resentment. The more Shigaraki feels misunderstood by society and suppressed for the greater good, the more his hatred will fester and make AFO’s control stronger. Similarly, all League members were shunned repeatedly, and clam up when faced with even more self-righteous blame.

The heroes need to work on compassion, not violence, if they want to break this impasse.

This chapter was an overall failure of communication and reinforced some of the unjust scapegoating on the villains. And you know what’s frustrating about it? That all this miscommunication would vanish if everyone just stopped bringing up each other’s actions as moral ammo to fire at their opponents and instead attempted to relate to each other more.

For example, I explained above that Dabi sees Shouto as an empty shell without personal convictions. He sees Shouto rely on others and thinks that makes him weak. He sees Shouto struggle to find his path as a hero and calls him a puppet for it, a doll on Endvr’s strings. But accepting that support is what allowed Shouto to get better and past the Earlyroki stage. While it’s true that for a time he lacked personal convictions, struggling with his identity was a big part of his inner growth and it got him where he is now.

During that time, Shouto let himself examine who he was without his father. Dabi never did. Lagging behind everyone for a while but ending up with more solid beliefs that are yours as a result is not a weakness. Ironically, the one who’s blindly imitating their father for lack of a sense of self outside of him is Dabi, not Shouto. He needs to get there like his little brother.

Hopefully, once they are done punching and yelling at each other, they’ll come to the same conclusion, too. In the meantime… eh. This chapter was just painful to watch, at least for me

#bnha meta #meta:dabi #Meta:todoroki #bnha 351 #my post #dabi #todoroki shouto #bnha spoilers

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yandere-daydreams · 4 years

Note

do you have an oc? i want hear about your ocs

Right! I’ve actually had these four siblings in mind for a while, and I *will* use any excuse I get to talk about them. In my defense, they’re all great. Babies that are well past spoiled-rotten, but they’re my babies, and I can’t help that. (The picrews used are here x x x x)

TW: Imprisonment, Emotional Manipulation, Delusional Mindsets, Non-Consensual Drug-Use and Toxic Relationships.

Name: Lionel Hardcastle

Position: The Failure of an Older Brother

Age: 26

Type: Delusional And Obsessive.

Bio: The tranquil, would-be heir to the Hardcastle organization. Although his younger siblings were considered, Lionel was always the best with clients, the calmest in painfully crushing situations, and even if he made a point to hide it, the undisputed favorite of his parents. He would’ve taken over as soon as he was of-age, but his glaring lack of interest in the world of business and leadership provided quite the roadblock.

Well, and the fact that he can’t read. Never could, never will, and he shows no indication of an ability to learn. Needless to say, this caused some… minor issues between him and the rest of his family.

That might be why he likes you so much, his sweetheart, his love, the light of his oh-so-frigid life. You’re just so kind, and he knows you’ll never abandon him, even if you act so stubborn whenever he asks you to promise. It’s all he can do not to laugh when you throw your little tantrums and scream like you don’t adore the affection he’ll lather onto you so suffocatingly. There’s nothing he’d rather do than be around you, any moment where his skin isn’t on your instantly becoming unbearable. It’s no wonder he’s always the first of his siblings to snap. He hardly remembers to breathe, when you’re not in the room.

Lionel is quite the artist, too, focusing on stone and sculpting but dabbling in paint whenever the temptation strikes him. Suffice to say, as his fixation begins to outweigh his rationality his patient partner becomes his favorite muse. There’s more of your likenesses in existence than there are galleries to house them, but don’t worry, Lionel’s got a special portion of his workshop dedicated to all those mediocre extras, if only to keep himself sustained when you’ve switched from begging for the restraints to come off to hiding yourself away. Still, there’s only so long he can last before breaking and running to find you. If you really wanted to be alone, then you must not want to be with him. That’d mean you were trying to get away from him, trying to leave him, and…

Lionel just isn’t sure if he can take that. Not again, and certainly not from you. He’s a weak man, when it comes to that, but he as more than enough iron-based safety measures to put his mind at ease.

Name: Persia Hardcastle

Position: The Motherly Middle Sister

Age: 25

Type: Controlling and Overbearing

Bio: Where do you even start with Persia? She’s the second-born, but it wouldn’t be untrue to say she’s more akin to a nanny than another Hardcastle. Part of it comes from how she grew up, how she had to take care of a pair of twins and deal with a suddenly absentee older brother, all while juggling just how unprepared her parents were for their own tragic, mysterious, purely accidental deaths. But, some people think she’s just… like that. A perfectionist, even when it comes to her own flesh-and-blood.

Of course, you’re no exception. She’s just as tightly-laced with you as she is while trying to save Finn’s reputation or bring Lionel back home. She does love you, don’t get me wrong, but you’re her stress-relief, her saving grace, the only factor in her life she can have complete control of, even if she doesn’t realize just how much sway she has over you. She knows it isn’t healthy, that no one should think the things she does about you, but Persia can’t risk losing you. She won’t lock you up, she isn’t crazy, but… she doesn’t really have to use chains and collars, either.

It’s odd, how fixed a certain behavior can be for one person, even after they’ve outgrown the use for it. She was the main caretaker for the twins while they were growing up, so she may’ve gotten into the habit of being a little… parental, when it comes to those she loves. If that just means giving you a disapproving look when you’re eating something you shouldn’t be or insisting on tucking you in at night, count yourself lucky. Falling into her role a little too passionately certainly wouldn’t be out of character, not when she’s already so invested in making sure you’re happy and healthy and by her side. Her angel’s medication is a small price to pay for bliss, really, even if you’re such a baby when it comes to taking it.

Name: Evelyn (Evie) Hardcastle

Position: The Mature Younger Sister

Age: 19

Type: Manipulative and Possessive

Bio: Now, here’s our heir. I mean, why wouldn’t she be? She’s fully literate and everything! Evie’s parents were already gone before Finn and her were so much as differentiable, but their advisors caught on to the siblings’ personalities quickly. Naturally, Evie found her way into a position of power as quickly as she was able to, not only for lack of competition. Not unlike her older brother, she doesn’t have any real interest in whatever vague, sketchy medical field she was thrust into, but Evie stands apart from the pure-intentions of most Hardcastsles. She likes the power of it all, how big it makes her feel.

She likes knowing she’s the one in charge. You’ll come to understand that, with time.

There’s a good chance you’re her assistant or secretary or some member of her staff that made the mistake of getting a little too friendly, stumbling your way into her cold, dead heart before she could properly put up her defenses. The specifics don’t really matter, not as long as you have those big, shining doe-eyes and the sense to do whatever she says without a second thought. She just thinks you’re so soft, so cute, so vulnerable when you’re in the hands of someone stronger than you… you can’t blame her for getting a little carried away, honestly.

Don’t worry, though, Evie’s the most responsible sibling for a reason. She’s not a nice woman, but she can put on quite the show, as long as it’s for your sake. She’ll be whatever you need her to be for the longest time, whether that’s a boss willing to make compromises or a shoulder to cry on. She’ll string you along for as long as she needs to, having you isolate yourself and falling into her arms so sweetly, but her patience tends to wear thin when someone else comes into the picture. Do your best to avoid that, regardless of how minor the relationship may seem. She already keeps you on such a tight leash… it’d be a massacre if you gave her a real excuse to use force.

Name: Finnian (Finn) Hardcastle

Position: The Rebellious Younger Brother

Age: 19

Type: Jealous and Obsessive

Bio: I hope you’re not prone to whiplash, because Finn is the polar opposite of his sister. Despite being twins, identical on the deepest level two people can be, Evie was groomed while Finn was cast to the side, spoiled and let run wild, unimpeded by the standards his other siblings were held to. He has nothing to do with the family cooperation and as little to do with the others as possible, and he likes it that way. You might’ve caught on, by now, but Finn isn’t exactly the ‘business’ type.

But, distance breeds loneliness, and loneliness breeds desperation. It’s not that he latches onto everyone and anyone, no, Finn is rather selective, but he refuses to let go when he does find someone he wants to be with. You’re just so smart and so clever and so perfect, and all Finn wants to do is stay close to you, to never leave your side. The goal is innocent, full of misguided hope, but Finn didn’t exactly have a normal upbringing. He doesn’t know he shouldn’t want to follow you home or that it’s a little off-putting for a stranger to sit so close to you on an empty train, nor is he going to catch on if you try to turn him down gently. Hell, even if scream and do tell him what a pathetic stalker he is, you won’t get very far. Finn is just so happy you’re talking to him, he can’t bring himself to process what you’re saying.

Oh, and keep in in mind that he’s very used to being the center of attention. Whether it’s Persia’s persistent demands for ‘family time’ or Evie’s loudly voiced concerns, Finn knows when he’s the focus, and he doesn’t like it when the spotlight is somewhere else. That applies to you, too, as hard as he tries to stay on your good side. Distractions aren’t an option, he just gets so twitchy whenever he starts to think he’s your second-favorite, even if you’re being stolen away by a gift he got for you. It’s not a pleasant sort of envy, either. The way he clings to you and whines may seem harmless, at first, but Finn isn’t exactly good at holding himself back, especially when it comes to you. Desperation can turn into destruction in the blink of an eye, and he rarely goes after your new toys.

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thetamehistorian · 3 years

Note

5 and 18 for the writing Q&A :)

Why of course!

5. What is the perfect environment for you to write in?

I admit, I have written on an entire story on my phone on a train but you’ll usually find me in my office - I’ve recently updated it so I’m much happier with my working/writing space now! Lots of natural light, plants on the windowsill, fresh cup of tea. I always have music on in the background.

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

I mean, I feel I have to go for the final confirmation between Din and Gideon in Forces Beyond Our Control. It was actually one of the first things I wrote for the story (yes, I’m weird like that), it got such an incredible response, and I just had so much fun paying off 11 chapters of build up!

Anyway, spoilers for the end of Forces Beyond Our Control below!

I won’t break down the entire scene here or we’ll be here all day but here’s some of my favourite parts:

“Very well,” Gideon said after a pause. “I will have to pursue other avenues of information, to rest assured, I will get the darksaber back.” His voice hardened. “As it is, you are of no further use to me.” Then, to the troopers restraining him. “Take him outside, remove his helmet, and kill him.”

Din felt cold sweat break out along the back of his neck.

It was the ultimate dishonour. Gideon had to know what it meant to remove a Mandarlorian’s helmet, the malicious delight in his eyes proved it.

Then the two troopers began to pull him back and all he could see was Riye watching him with wide, panicked eyes from the arms of the doctor, could see his son becoming more and more upset as his own struggles flared up and grew increasingly desperate. Cara wasn’t going to make it.

This couldn’t be it. He wouldn’t let it end this way.

He wouldn’t give Moff Gideon the satisfaction.

Whilst Din had faced plenty of trials in Forces, this was essentially a set-up to take him to the brink. I’d been building up his Force-sensitivity throughout the story, but I really needed something to give him that finish push over the line so to speak.

First, we have the threat of Din becoming dar’manda. At this point in the overall story arc, he’s still firmly in the ‘helmet must never come off’ mindset so it certainly causes some panic! On top of that, we have Riye (aka Baby Yoda, aka Grogu) with whom Din’s bond has been growing to the point that he considers Riye his son and really, it’s his love for Riye rather than any threat against himself (which is promptly forgotten), and his determination not to let Gideon hurt his son, that leads to what follows.

They were almost at the door.

His foot slipped, almost sending the whole group tumbling and he felt it.

It settled over him like a strange sense of calm, of peace, and this time, he recognized it. He’d spent so long denying it, dismissing it, but now it reached for him and he reached back, grasped, focused.

On the table, unnoticed in the commotion, his saber twitched, but he saw it. Could it be true?

It wasn’t enough. It had to be enough. It was impossible.

“There is a gift in you, Din.”

Marin’s words rang in his ears. He sucked in a breath, closed his eyes, and stretched out a flailing hand towards the weapon that had saved them time and time again.

He had nothing left. He was desperate.

He hoped. He believed.

And suddenly it was enough.

Faster than anyone could react, the saber sailed through the air, straight into his welcoming grasp.

*Cheering*

This is essentially the turning point on the entire story. It’s the first time Din knowingly and actively uses the Force (he’s used it before without knowing, of course, but this time he’s fully aware of what he’s doing). Even then, he only really reaches for it because he has exhausted every other option – it’s still a struggle against his upbringing/prejudices because he can accept it in his son, but in himself?

Ultimately, it’s an act of faith, hence ‘believed’. In himself, in his son, in the Force, in doing the impossible to save his family. As a result, it’s arguably the most Mandalorian Din’s ever been. He’s prioritising his foundling and doing whatever it takes to protect him.

A single step forward put him close enough to bare the golden-yellow blade in Moff Gideon’s face.

“You’re right,” he admitted. “I won’t. And you know why? I am Din Djarin, head of Clan Djarin. I am a wielder of the Force,” he said with the sudden certainty that it was true, “and I’m Mandalorian.”

And then, with a smooth and violent swing of the blade, he separated Moff Gideon’s head from his shoulders.

*More cheering*

Won’t deny I got immense satisfaction out of writing the beheading of Gideon, but more importantly, this is the first step Din takes towards acknowledging his new identity. Specifically, he recognises that what has just happened hasn’t changed the fundamentals of who he is, (Din Djarin, father of Riye, Mandalorian) regardless of the doubts that come after.

Also, Gideon got beheaded by Din (his enemy) with a lightsaber (the weapon of the Jedi – take that Empire) and that’s hilarious.

#writing asks #my writing #forces beyond our control #the mandalorian #fanfic #force sensitive din djarin

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priorireverte · 3 years

Photo

Congratulations Ashlie!

Your application for Neville Longbottom has been accepted. It was delightful to read and I am looking forward to seeing what more he brings to the group!

Please look to the checklist for the next steps and reach out if you have any questions!

OUT OF CHARACTER

NAME & PRONOUNS: Ashlie ( she/her )

TIMEZONE: est

ACTIVITY LEVEL: My main goal is to be online about five days a week actively working on replies, although I am always lingering around on mobile for plotting and such.

ANYTHING ELSE: Triggers: Flashing Gifs. Experience wise, I have been roleplaying online since 2011, and joined Tumblr roleplay around 2014.

CHARACTER DETAILS

NAME: Neville Longbottom

BIRTHDATE: July 30, 1980

DEATHDATE: –

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: demiboy he/they asexual/biromantic , Neville doesn’t put much weight on pronouns, either he or they really there is no preference for one over the other because he simply doesn’t feel any sort of connection to any of them. He tends to use the two interchangeably, although they are also still playing around with how they feel about the concept of masculinity and how it ties into his own idea of their gender so this may change over the course of the timeline.

BLOOD STATUS: Pureblood

HOUSE ALUMNI: Gryffindor Growing up, Neville was the one people always questioned. How could they possibly ever have been sorted into Gryffindor? They were quite timid as a child, fearful and easily taken advantage of. It was Dumbledore who had first seen the potential and they had and awarded him for it. They hadn’t wanted to stand up to Harry, Ron, and Hermione first year, they were terrified. But they also knew if they didn’t say anything their whole house would face the punishment that came with finding students out of bed past curfew, even if they later learned the three had a pretty solid reason. But Dumbledore’s validation had been what they needed to continue to experiment with that Gryffindor bravery they failed to see in themself. Telling a gang of eleven year olds not to sneak out isn’t the most terrifying thing they’ve ever done- but it was the first time they had fought back for what they thought was the right thing. That made them sure of themself when he joined the DA and made so quick to answer the call on those medallions and fight back when Hogwarts was under Death Eater control. Neville grew up very quickly and in a short amount of time, the catalyst for them truly feeling they belonged being prior to the true start of the war after learning their parents’ attacker had escaped from Azkaban Prison. Then Death Eaters took over the school they called home and it was no longer about proving themself to histheir grandmother or classmates, but about doing the right thing. It was then that Neville truly understood the meaning of bravery, chivalry, and the other traits true

OCCUPATION: Current Auror / Substitute Professor of Herbology at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry ( Neville has been working for the auror department since he left Hogwarts and is currently still working for them. He however has just accepted a job at Hogwarts starting after summer break and put notice in at the department he will be leaving in the end of August. He has yet to tell anyone anything other than that he has subbed at the school a couple times for Professor Sprout. )

FACECLAIM: Federico Cesari

CHARACTER BACKGROUND

POSTBELLUM

Neville had only been a toddler when they first learned the end of a war does not mean the end of the fighting or that some of the worst acts of violence and cruelty happen after one side has already surrendered. The war was a terrifying thing and Neville didn’t begin to fully understand what it meant until after their side had already won. They cut a lot of people off after the final battle; kept isolated and trapped in a state of uncertainty. Some days they felt invincible- as if the scared little child who refused to let go of their grandmother’s skirt was someone else entirely and only the new version of themself who spat in Death Eater’s faces had remained. But as the adrenalyn wore off it became easier to fall back into the mindset of someone who thought they would never fit in or live up to the reputation their parents had set for them.

They went immediately into Auror training simply because they didn’t know what else to do. When Neville was told he could join the program despite not obtaining the OWL results required they couldn’t turn it down. It had felt like some sort of sign that this was what they needed to do, They knew that they wanted to be an Auror at only eight years old- although back then it was more because they wanted to be like their Gran’s stories of Frank than an interest in the career itself, but they had still struggled to accept that their childhood dream had gone out the window when their OWL scores came in the mail. But their position in the war meant more than an Acceptable in Transfiguration, and with so many Death Eaters still to be captured they couldn’t bring themselves to accept the war had finally ended.

When they learned the position for the Herbology teacher at Hogwarts opened he applied on a whim, never thinking they would actually get the job and struggled to get through the interview until they realized Professor Sprout had recommended them personally. They know they need to do this for themself, but they’re terrified to tell everyone about their plans to leave the Auror Department. It feels selfish- like they’re giving up the fight.

Now with Bellatrix’s return they are angry. At least they believe they are angry, but this is a different anger than the one they felt when she had broken out of Azkaban for the first time years ago. Perhaps it’s the mixture of jealousy at seeing so many people around them be reunited with their families while struggling with the guilt of avoiding their own. Or maybe it’s simply a deeper understanding. They are eager to find out.

PERSONALITY

Neville assumes their upbringing has a large part in the reason they’re so quick to think about what exactly is making someone behave the way they are. They are empathetic, quick to be understanding and patient. They wants to be there for everyone, even if that person doesn’t want them there. When Neville is invested in something they go on longer than anyone enjoys, putting every ounce of energy they have into it. When they love something they put their all into it and has never been one to do something half-assed. Even whenthey struggle, they give their all and don’t volunteer unless they knows they can pull through. Their love of herbology is clear to everyone who knows them and they spend hours a day trying to learn more about the subject they love so much. But he is also passionate about equal rights and fighting injustice. So passionate he put his safety on the line again and again to give a bit of hope to those around him that they could do this. So passionate even when he thought they had lost everything he still was the one to stand up and keep fighting.

They spent a lot of time lonely, and grew comfortable being by themselves. For a long time it seemed like everyone had their click but him. Sure he had friends, at least he thinks they all considered him friends, but until recently he never had that person he could go to. Now he still forgets to reach out to others for nothing other than to just enjoy each other’s company. He’ll call them to tell them about a book he thinks they would enjoy, or to tell them about the restaurant that opened up down the street from them, but he’s still working on believing people want to spend time with him and breaking the habit of spending his time along.

Insecurity and uncertainty had defined Neville’s life for so long, sometimes he does not know how to live any differently. He is quick to second guess himself in every aspect, and that has held him back many times. He decides how others feel without asking their opinions and can be quite pessimistic while doing so. Neville’s loyalty is also a trait he prides himself on greatly, but at times it can be entirely blind. He can have a bit of a black and white mindset when it comes to if someone is good or bad and once you have been deemed good in his mind he will follow certain people to their doom simply because they told him it was a wise idea.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY

Neville’s parent’s health had always been especially overwhelming and confusing for them, ever since they were just old enough to comprehend the two of them were not normal, that the way they behaved wasn’t the typical way the other adults in their life acted. Although for a very long time even after that they didn’t entirely understand their presence in their life was something normal to miss or that it wasn’t selfish to be angry over the fact that Frank and Alice couldn’t recognize who Neville was. They understand the pride they feel in being their child, and just how much they had sacrificed, but even now they cannot seem to fully comprehend why they miss something they cannot remember ever having in the first place.

So the excuses to not join Augusta on her visits to St. Mungo’s were plausible for a while. First it wasn’t safe to go, they couldn’t leave Hogwarts during the height of the war, the new job had just kept them so busy there wasn’t the time. Although every time they rattle off another excuse they see more of that same look in their grandmother’s eye that they had grown accustomed to as a child and thought they had finally gotten past. It was the week of the first anniversary Neville and Augusta finally had it out. Neville hadn’t meant to snap at her, there was so much guilt and their anxiety was still high. Suddenly everything from their childhood with her came out at once. The pressure she put on them to live up to their father, never saying anything to the family members who harmed them in an attempt to “scare” the magic out of them. They feel a responsibility to work on their relationship, she’s the only family they really have and perhaps if that weren’t the case they would have dropped her. But Neville loves her, as strict and imperfect as she is; they know she loves him, even if she wasn’t always the perfect guardian.

HISTORY

Only months following the end of the war, a group of Death Eaters had captured Frank and Alice Longbottom, determined they knew what happened to the Dark Lord and were willing to do anything in their power to get that information out of the two Aurors. They tortured the two incessantly until they had both lost their minds, leaving Neville who had only been a baby at the time to be raised by Frank’s mother, Augusta. She had been stern and old fashioned in the way she had raised them, expecting Neville to be every bit as brilliant as their father and then some as only a child, and she hadn’t done a spectacular job at hiding her disappointment whenever they didn’t live up to the expectations set for them. It had happened before, in a family as old as the Longbottoms it wasn’t entirely unheard of for a child to be born a squib, but that didn’t stop the fact that it was shameful, or dismiss the fears that Neville would live a horrid life if they failed to ever show signs of magic. Their entire extended family grouped together to attempt to make them to show some signs of magic, all going to different lengths in their attempts to do so. This destroyed their confidence and left Neville especially insecure even before they had the opportunity to start Hogwarts.

While everyone around them seemed to think of their time at Hogwarts longingly, Neville struggled during their time in the castle. Their Gran had been overprotective after taking them in and kept them separated from other kids their age so long they had a hard time making friends. Kids were mean, and it wasn’t uncommon for them to be the punchline of various jokes and picked on for the babyfat they had yet to lose or their awkward demeanor. While being bullied by their peers was hard enough, Neville hadn’t expected their professors to be even more terrifying than anything else they had dealt with in their young but still tragic youth. Severus Snape had been the human embodiment of everything they ever did wrong. As much as Neville loves their grandmother, she was never subtle about her high expectations for them and the more Neville tried to live up to them, the more they seemed to fail. Snape preyed on this, had a comment ready at every corner and made sure Neville knew they were inferior. They would never be as smart as their father. Never be as talented or successful if they couldn’t brew a simple potion correctly. The trauma of watching their parents’ health deteriorate as only a toddler left them with scars they still haven’t healed and Snape knew that as well. The gut wrenching anticipation of knowing if they did their assignment incorrectly their beloved pet would be slowly and painfully killed only brought the teen nightmares and what ifs. Snape knew Neville’s secrets from the days he fought on the other side, then his time as his Professor and had a profound talent for using this against them.

When Bellatrix Lestrange escaped from Azkaban it gave Neville a reason to fight back for the first time. There was a connection between them and the fighting going on outside the walls of Dumbeldore’s protection and they were able to truly comprehend just what this all meant beyond knowing Voldemorts return was a bad thing. Even more than that, they wanted revenge. They wanted to get even with the witch who stole everything from them, caused their parents to be unable to even know who their own child was. And they did fight back, harder than they had ever fought for anything in their life, they practiced day and night with hopes they could prove they are much more than the stupid little pureblood with insane parents and could barely hold a wand the right direction.

Then they were seventeen and living their deepest darkest what ifs. Would I do the same? Could I take the worst of the unforgivables for the well being of another? Neville’s entire life had been controlled by that curse. The shyness, the isolation, depression. The fear. Suddenly they were thrown into war, still only a student, even if one privileged enough to be born with the blood that was ranked superior. Wands were pointed at them, doing everything they could to force them to be the one thing he grew up swearing they would never be. Neville took everything they threw at them to not become the people who tore apart their family. They grew more confident and collected and stepped up to do what they knew they needed to do. They lead an Army, and the DA was the most important thing they will ever be a part of in their life. It made them someone they could be proud of, instead of having to worry what everyone around them would think of them.

OOC EXPLORATION

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? This group is gorgeous, While yes, your graphics and theme is lovely, your plot, the character teasers, and the writing are beautiful. A post trio roleplay is so hard to come by, as is a group with passionate and active admins and members who want to write and develop characters and the little twist of bringing back the dead is captivating. Scrolling through the page simply left me inspired, there is no other way to explain it. Thank you for making this rp possible and giving me the chance to be a part of it.

ANYTHING ELSE? https://www.pinterest.com/aaestheticsdm/why-is-it-always-me-c-neville-longbottom/

#prioriacceptance #neville longbottom

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ofpcrfections · 3 years

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— manny montana . the outsiders . cismale . he/him . ⟳ → well hello , welcome to the good place , DALLAS WINSTON . in your file , it says that you are THIRTY FIVE & on earth so many people said you were EGOTISTICAL & RECKLESS . lucky for you , we have our own system around here , meaning that we are well aware that you are LOYAL & DEDICATED , so there is no need to worry . hey , has anyone ever told you that you give off a JEAN JACKET FILLED WITH CIGARETTE BUTT HOLES , THE STENCH OF A WASTED YOUTH , MEMORIES OF NEVER BEING GOOD ENOUGH type of vibe ? anyways , we better hurry , don’t want to be late !

→ there are trigger warnings of death , gang violence , neglect , abuse ( physical ) , murder , assisted suicide , shooting in dallas’s background . ( wiki page )

𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧

🚬 dallas was hardened from a tough upbringing . he spent three years on the wild side of new york and was arrested at the young age of ten . dallas was also treated poorly by his father which contributed to his toughness .

🚬 dally is a tough , friendly and loyal guy who hangs out with johnny and ponyboy . he is the one that johnny goes to after killing bob ; he was at a party in buck's house in the bedroom trying to get some sleep .

🚬 he gives the boys a gun and tells them to hop on a train to windrixville and hide inside an old abandoned church . the church was almost inhospitable ; however , it was far away which helps them from being caught by the police , and it also had water for them to drink .

🚬 dally comes back a few days later after they been hiding and gives ponyboy a note ( from sodapop ) and treats ponyboy and johnny to a fast food place , as the two were basically starving . when they return to the church , they find it on fire with seven trapped kids inside .

🚬 after the greasers heroically win , he tells ponyboy that they should get to the hospital to visit the severely injured johnny , who succumb to his injuries not long after finding out about the win .

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞

how did they die ?

dallas , distraught over the death of his best friend , went into a horrific mindset . he stole from a convenience store nearby , using an unloaded gun as fear before he began running from the cops . he called the gang to help him hide , but inevitably wielded the unloaded gun at a bunch of socs , who were trying to chase him down after he robbed the store , only to find they all had their own weapons & he died from gun shot wounds .

what is their worst memory ?

there are way to many for dallas to even outline , but his breaking point was losing johnny because he was literally the glue that was holding him together .

what was their best memory ?

when i say there aren't many - i mean it . probably finding the curtis family , as he was able to join the gang & get a full family experience that he was never able to get while in new york with his father .

what do they hold dear to their heart ?

the gang - probably ponyboy & johnny as he hung out with them the most . he also holds his switchblade close as it was his first weapon .

what is their ideal home ?

dallas is not picky - he honestly didn't have much growing up , so he probably is located on the north side in a small home that is closer to the outskirts of town - furthest away from the downtown area .

who are they most excited / feared to see ?

he's fearful to see almost everyone - including johnny . he knows that this place is utter bull if he is thrown in the same afterlife place as his best friend who had a heart of gold . there isn't many people he would be excited to see .

lastly , do they believe they deserve to be here ?

easy - absolutely not .

#❛ → dallas winston ╱ info .

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snowflake-of-destruction · 4 years

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vanikai!!

1. How do much do I ship it?: Never heard of it/ Notp / Dislike / used to ship / maybe / ship it / aww / otp / IS IT CANON YET

Fun fact: I started out as maybe and moved to the ship category while writing

2. What non sexual activities do they like to do together?

Grass is Greener Verse:

Theater, as shocking as it is that they can fixate on something where the eyes aren't on either of them. Well, there is the pre-show ritual of Kairi talking about how well she would have done as a stage actress. Vanitas more often takes a supportive rather than sarcastic response to this, and tells her she should go to some open auditions. It's far from too late. She's young, hot, and talented (He presumes the last one, but he'd never bet the opposite...and after he sees the one movie she did and some of the commercials...he'll just keep his mouth shut on talented). Sometimes, she'll beam, call him right, and make plans she doesn't follow through on. Sometimes she's noncommittal. Sometimes she'll glare at him, deciding he's just trying to end conversation or mock that she is all talk. Post-show there's also talk--this time from both of them--about how they could have done better in certain roles, which is a couples bonding activity all on its own. HOWEVER, these types of fantasies are not why they love plays. They think is an engrossing form of storytelling, that make worlds come to life and put you in them more than movies or tv. Also, they are simply dramatic nerds at heart.

They also play tennis. Primarily doubles, though you would be foolish to play against them, but they enjoy competing with each other too.

Rock climbing, but at an indoor rock gym. Anyone who asks them if they are training for something/ever planning a trip receives incredibly incredulous looks and scoffing. Not because of the potential danger, because of the very idea of them out in the wilderness...though sometimes Kairi will counter this by mentioning that one summer she worked for her father's, now Axel's, landscaping business. That was getting dirty in nature. Vanitas's response to this is not for this headcanon space

A more canon-verse approach (what do you mean Vanitas not joining the guardians of light post-kh3 is not canon?): There is a lot of sparring. Vanitas helps Kairi advance her keyblade training and just plain get out some of the anger in the grief of losing Sora. Van doesn't go easy and Kairi likes that. Kairi helps Vanitas with any gaps in education without talking down, pitying or even mentioning his strange upbringing, or, the worst, comparing him to Roxas or Xion (because he has identity issues too). I'm not even talking traditional education, though that too if he wants, but education on social situations...which he's not a complete idiot about. He's actually really good at reading people. He just needs a little guidance on what way to use the info, because he only has like five moves and not every situation calls for "taunt" or "threaten loved one". Kairi makes him a much better manipulator. Thanks Kairi. There's also a lot of snuggling, because I say so, that's why. I just see them both as a bit yearning for physical reassurance in their lonely spells, and also the least likely to say it for their own different reasons, so they read it in each other and just give each other what they need but won't ask for.

Read More before this gets too long

3. Who does chores around the house?

Grass is Greener: Neither, as much as it can be helped. It's a stand off about most of the regular chores, and periodically they have a cleaning service come through that is more thorough than either of them are. More often than not, Kairi is the one that "breaks" over keeping the kitchen clean, and Vanitas about cleaning bathrooms and straightening living areas. Vanitas is very neat as a habit, and Kairi likes her surroundings to show a little bit of how she likes chaos--she just is grossed out by dirty dishes, grease stains, and food crumbs. Cooking is a bit of a fifty-fifty with both preferring quickly assembled meals. Laundry is taken down to nothing-to-wear levels, and then it's whoever needs something first. Though sometimes this all goes out the windows, and Kairi goes through "Look, I'm a fifties housewife" sprints where suddenly everything's spotless and she's cooked a three course dinner and did it all in a cocktail dress because she didn't realize you're supposed to change into the dress after.

Kinda-canon: Vanitas. He has a lot of pent up emotions and sometimes you have got to stress clean or cook. Kairi would help, but the arrangement of Vanitas doing the lion's share and it seeming to help him definitely works for the self-described lazy bum.

4. Who’s the better cook?

Grass is Greener: Vanitas. Kairi is a bit careless following recipes and doesn't have the innate "cooking sense" in regard to estimating amounts, flavors, heat, or time to freestyle. Vanitas, when he does cook, tends to get really serious about it even though he prefers the simple to assemble, like I said in the last answer.

Kinda Canon: Kairi. Vanitas is slow to adjust from the “food is only fuel not pleasure” mindset and Kairi starts out with a base of her adoptive parents having taught her some things. Vanitas has a sharp learning curve though, bullying Little Chef into helping him (because he's not going to lose) and not realizing that the bullying is what makes Little Chef more reluctant and ensures Remy doesn't teach him all the secrets he does to others. Anyone can cook, but if you're mean you are taught to cook less well. Once Kairi gets Little Chef tutelage, it's all over.

5. Who’s the funniest drunk?

Grass is Greener: Both and neither in a way. They both have a very high tolerance. They tend to act out more on purpose out of the excuse than act out because of a truly altered state. Alcohol isn't magic. It just lowers inhibitions and neither has those to begin with. If I had to choose though, Kairi is a funnier drunk, because Vanitas's mean streak becomes more developed the drunker he is, whereas Kairi's mean streak, when she chooses to have one, is more practiced and purposeful cultivation instead of a natural harshness.

Kinda Canon: Vanitas. He is not prepared, and once he loses his filter everything spills out, and it's a lot less ugly than some people expected. Kairi just gets giggly and slightly louder, but otherwise doesn't change.

6. Do they have kids?

Grass is Greener: :) :D Listen. Listen. If Shaky was the one who carelessly put "I don't think it fits me the way it used to" on the Vanikai picture she drew. SUPPOSEDLY this was done for cleavage and for the "help you take it off" joke but I know a dangled plotline when I see it.

Kinda Canon: That partially depends on the state of the worlds and how many other keybearers there are when they are older. Even in a stable universe, I don't see them having kids young and it being a long discussion of whether they want kids at all, not the least because of the implications of Vanitas's powers and whether they are only his or would be passed down--what could happen to an infant that could summon Unversed and not know how to retract them even if they were loyal especially if it would be hurt by them being vanquished. I see them adopting orphans from other worlds and saying fuck world order more than having kids naturally.

7. Do they have any traditions?

Grass is Greener: Annual trip to Vegas to recreate the way they met under new created identities.

Kinda Canon: Vanitas calls every tradition he's introduced to stupid without fail. Vanitas also gets VERY into every holiday, and Kairi is all too happy to indulge. Then, he starts nudging her about teaching him more dumb holidays. Their tradition becomes ALL THE TRADITIONS. They celebrate holidays from every world and from every religion if there's a way to do it respectfully--and if it's not appropriate to participate, then they just learn about it as much as they are permitted--and then they look up and celebrate obscure or "made up" things like Leave a Zucchini on a Neighbor's Porch Day.

8. What do they fight about?

Grass is Greener: What you would expect.

Housework.

Why do you take criticism like a personal attack?

What do you do all day? versus Why are you never home?

Were you flirting with the waiter?

Did you even want the baby? Was it a relief when I lost it?

Kind of Canon: Imagine Kairi saying in the same tone as Belle in Disney's Beauty and the Beast "Well you should learn to control your temper!"

No, really, it's mainly about Vanitas being "mean" to people...and then sometimes it's about Kairi doing the same and then blaming him as a bad influence.

9. What would they do if they found their paring tag on tumblr? (If they have one)

Grass is Greener: The flippant answer is that they are really confused about this whole Disney crossover with weird swords thing, and why they are teenagers in so many of these pictures. Don't even get them started on the skirt over the muscle suit paired with the motorcycle helmet Vanitas sees himself put in. When he wears a skirt he has a lot better style, especially if Kairi helps put together the outfit.

But let's take this in a different way. That one bad movie Kairi did is actually gaining a small cult following now years after its release. Someone does a "What Happened to Kairi Emberson? The Answer Will Shock You!" clickbait. The answer...is not shocking but enough people see a photo of Kairi, fine as ever, now Kairi White and looking so happy with Vanitas, and the pair get an objectively creepy because the next few pictures are pulled from social media they don't lock, but well intentioned few people finding and posting more cute pictures of the, and they become a sparse tag and one that is half joking, but a RPS all the same. Kairi pretends to hate this, but is not so secretly really flattered. Vanitas genuinely hates it.

Kinda-canon: Kairi loves it. Vanitas is fascinated despite himself. Everyone else is disappointed because they expected flustered denials or anger at those that portray them wrong, but Van and Kairi both just think it's cool.

10. Who cried at the end of Marley and me?

Grass is Greener: Neither. They roasted it for filth. They cried about it much later. Vanitas in the shower, and Kairi the next day when she was over at Xion's, saw her dog Elmo, and it all busted loose.

Kinda Canon: Vanitas. Cue a discussion about how movies work, how they are not real, and Vanitas snapping that he knows that until there are now multiple types of Unversed to take care of. Kairi gently cuddles both her man and the Unversed until equilibrium returns.

11. Who always wins at Mario kart?

Kairi in all universes. Vanitas doesn't care in GiG, but in canon there is a shout of "Rematch and this time it counts!" despite it being the 100th rematch

12. One thing I like about this ship?

That they have potential to understand each other more than people who technically know them better, or at least the concept of being seen a certain way and having a different "certain way" that everyone thinks it would be better if they grew toward instead of just being allowed to be. Princess of Heart and Agent of Darkness aren't really so different after all.

13. One thing I don’t like about the ship?

When it's clear that it's a fill in for people who want Soriku but can't think of anyone but Sora for Kairi, and so pick "other Sora." There's not anything wrong with that outright, and this isn't me annoyed with pair the spares (though that can rub wrong if it is handled wrong or I'm in a mood to make a point about how not everyone needs a romantic relationship), but annoyed with the reduction of Vanitas to "edgy Sora"

14. The song I would say fits them?

Grass is Greener:

Sibella, and I'll quote a verse and a half because clearly this isn't already long enough.

"You are vain and you are heartless and yet

I can feel in you a shade of sadness

That's barely detectable

That I still want you at all

I may live to regret

You're deceitful

You're delectable

You see the fate of a man

Who has had the misfortune

To spend his life caught in your sway

I see Sibella

My Sibella

And I like her that way"

It works both ways. Change whatever pronouns you want.

Kind of Canon: I...don't know. I can't think off the top of my head.

15. Another headcanon about the paring? (Free space)

Grass is Greener: Even though they think they met in Vegas, they had crossed paths before and probably more than once. I don't have specific headcanons (yet), but this may be something if I ever write the other 20 bazillion Grass is Greener scenes for various characters and relationships that I want to do first.

Kind of Canon: Kairi makes her own version of the suit and borrows Vanitas's helmet sometimes to do things she would never "get away with" as herself. Vanitas blesses this, helps her with the suit, and hands over the helmet after kissing the visor for luck. He also exposes her as a fake Vanitas by showing up at the worst time on purpose.

#vanikai #grass is greener verse #vanitas #kairi #spiiderbiites

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ichor-and-symbiosis · 5 years

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Remember a while back, you talked about Shimura Tenko (AU) where he didn’t become a villain. He married a hero, his father hates her. Well can you talk about the difference between Tenko and Shigaraki as a lover/husband and father? Will Dad!Tenko and Dad!Shigaraki treat there child differently? Do you think Dad!Tenko will be more affectionate toward his child? What’s the main difference between Tenko and Shigaraki with there S/O?

yet another ask i have been sitting on im sorry ;-; i wanted to do this justice because i love the tenko au so much

Dad!Tenko

- first and foremost, a very loving husband and father. he is a family man through and through, and they come first in his eyes. he works hard every day if it means coming home to a house filled with laughter and the sound of his child’s little feet pitter pattering on the hardwood floor as they come greet him. tenko has never felt more at peace with his life. he has a lovely child and an incredible spouse who love him as much as he loves them, and he is forever grateful for having the opportunity to escape his toxic family and end the cycle of abuse.

- he is very conscientious of how he raises his child. tenko’s goal is to never act like his own father. this is a huge source of anxiety for him when he first finds out you are pregnant, and he is insecure about fatherhood because of it. but the moment he holds his newborn child in his arms, he knows that he could never do to them what his father did to him. he adores his child. you encouraged him to start therapy long before this bundle of joy popped up into your lives, so he already has a healthier mindset going into this.

- openly affectionate with his child and always makes sure to tell them how much he loves and appreciates them. they have him wrapped around their little finger. he’ll hang up all of their artwork and see them off to school whenever he can, and he will always be a wonderful source of advice and unconditional understanding. some may even say that he spoils them too much, but he’d rather give too much than too little.

- tenko would love his child regardless of whether they they have a quirk or not. if they inherit his quirk or develop one that is detrimental to them/others, he would want them to undergo proper training to hone their power. initially, his gut reaction would be to suppress their quirk just like he had been forced to, because he doesn’t want them to suffer, but he realizes that he suffered because of that suppression.

- as a lover, tenko will treat you really well. he considers you to be his pillar of support, his partner in crime, the one person who he can trust completely. you both went through a lot to be together, and despite all the hardships, it only made you two love each other more and more. he gave up his family for you, and he did so gladly (albeit with difficulty, because family is still family and he loved them).

- he is generally introverted but well-meaning. he tends to avoid conflict as much as possible and lets his feelings simmer and build up inside him, so you need to encourage him to vent properly instead of holding back. this was a habit he learned early in life so as to not anger his father, and it was only encouraged by his mother and grandparents because they never let him express his emotions in a healthy way. apart from this, tenko is overflowing with love for you and makes sure you know it.

Dad!Shigaraki

- tomura is far more reserved with his affections towards his child, but no less well-meaning than tenko. he doesn’t know how to handle parenthood and feels awkward around his child, but he likes how silly they can be and he secretly loves their hugs. he does not coddle his child, he will always tell them the truth and be straightforward to teach them harsh lessons in life. he can be a bit callous and harsh, but he does feel bad if he ends up making his child cry, and unlike kotarou, he actually does change the way he speaks to them from that point on. tomura doesn’t think he is an almighty authority figure. he wants to grow and learn from his mistakes for the sake of his child.

- he is uncomfortable with the idea of being responsible for someone’s upbringing. he is fully aware that he has many issues to work through, and he doesn’t want to screw his kid up. but this is the hand life has dealt them, so he does his best. he definitely needs a break from them though. kids are exhausting.

- quirk or no quirk, he is proud of his kid even though he doesn’t really say it. but you could always tell, because he gets this glimmer in his eyes whenever he feels proud, and he’ll pat his child on the head or wrap an arm around their shoulders to pull them in for a half-hug. it’s the little things that mean a lot, and his child always picks up on them.

- as a lover, tomura is ... obsessed. you are his reason for living, and he loves you so much it hurts him. he might even love you more than his own child. he treats you as his equal and values your input a lot. dont try to be apart for more than a day unless strictly necessary or else he gets cranky and lonely. tomura is far more crass than tenko. both versions of him are freaks in bed, but tomura is the one who is absolutely shameless about it and will make it everyone else’s problem.

- tomura has unresolved trauma, so naturally this will bleed into his relationship with you. whereas tenko had the opportunity to seek out therapy and retain some familial connections, tomura grew up neglected and emotionally stunted. he is very dependent on you, to the point of codependency, and he expects the same sort of zealous, consuming love from you as well. he has no problem manipulating you to get you to stay with him. his moral code is nonexistent, and he will use everything to his advantage.

#shigaraki tomura #shimura tenko #shigaraki/reader #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki #headcanons #imagines #they are both absolute freaques #but tenko keeps it hidden #whereas everyone has at least heard tomura going to town on you

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atasteofchocolates · 4 years

Text

To my first love

18/02/2020

To my first love, thank you for showing me a world when I was too afraid to fly. Because of you, I began to dream, of a future, of a family and of a career. You were my first love and what a strong love I felt.

But things were never perfect. You broke up with me because you felt ‘trapped’ and ‘controlled’ but what you are not telling people is the damage you caused in order to create such a ‘monster’

For I was never this way before you.

In the beginning I trusted you fully, in my eyes you would never hurt me, in my eyes you loved me back. I had no reason to worry and threat for then, at least i thought, you were my Knight in shining armor. However through long distance, my Knight in shining armor who loved me so much could not spare time for me. Who limited me to an hour of conversation a day. While he would limit my time to talk so that he could play games with his friends for hours on end,even though we were thousands of miles away, I would wait for 8 O’clock at night for you to wake up, we’d call on the train on your way to work, while you had nothing to do. That time to me was so precious, I would cancel plans with friends, hide myself away from family so that I would never miss that time. And when I would ask for more time, my love, you would greet me with frustration and anger. How dare I ask for more time out of your day even though you said you loved me so.

But that was not all, my trust was broken down and burnt in October of 2018. While in my eyes we were going through a whirlwind of a long distance romance, you kept secrets. You lied, cheated and hid me from over half of your friends and family, lying to others and telling them we had broken up so while you were at parties they would not blink an eye at that girl you’d walk off with. And when i found out, you lied still. Telling me what you thought I wanted to hear in order to protect yourself from falling into the grave you’d dug.

I gave you a second chance, my whole family did. When you came back from Auz with me in January of 2019, although we were greeted with troubles we over came, my family welcomed him back. We all gave you a second chance. However the damage had been done and you were not willing to help me heal. Throughout the year you would continue to message girls, hide messages and lie to me. I began to feel paranoid, like I was not enough, that even though you were right next to me, you were continuing to break down my trust with every girl you’d lie about, with every message you’d delete, and with every girl whose conversation was put on mute. How could I possibly heal when this would happen a total of 5 times throughout the year. I would feel anxious when he started a job where there were girls. I knew the way he was, I knew he would flirt and I knew if I didn’t stop him, he would cheat again. I should have just ended it when I found out he cheated back in 2018. I would get panicky about the idea of him going out with work mates because I knew there would be girls, if I wasn’t there and I couldn’t keep an eye on him... I couldn’t trust him not to hurt me again.

You still hated giving me your time of day. I ended up having to ask you to not work that day, please don’t pick up that overtime shift and please can you not play games tonight. Because I felt alone in my relationship. Because you would plan to play games all night when we had hardly seen each other and because you’d pick up that overtime shift on your only day off with me. Your lack of wanting to spend time and give me attention was what caused me to ‘entrap’ you. Because I loved you and I would wait all day to see you but you would wait all day to play games. I knew you’d be sat with with me but wanting to be online, I could feel your gaze when a games invite would pop up. I would see you get agitated because you would rather be doing that then spending time with me. And like when we were long distance, if I asked for you to spend time with me when you wanted to play games I would be greeted with frustration and anger. I never felt like I was enough to you, my love. You would let us go to bed angry. You would sleep like a baby while I was up all night wanting things to be sorted. But it was always me who had to be the bigger person, always me who had to talk through our issues while youd sit in silence.

So I pushed and I pushed you. Threatening a break up that I never thought would come in order to help you understand my needs and wants in our relationship. But you always did the same thing. You would hug me, telling me that you will try to change and then things would stay the same.

So you left on Valentines day of 2020. Decided you were not ready for this relationship even though you had wasted 3 years of my life and put me through all this pain. you claim that I was ‘controlling’ and to an extent my love I believe you. Because I did not allow you to play games all day everyday, because I wanted some of your time and because I wanted to catch you before you cheated again in order to protect my own heart and our relationship. But it was inevitable.

But this wasn’t about me. You are not mature enough my love, for I am 18 with the mental age of 25, you are 21 with the mental age of 16. You gained habits from your upbringing with your mother which in no way excuse your behavior but make it easier to understand. Your lack of loyalty and faithfulness you gained from witnessing your mother do these things. For it wasn’t just me you cheated on, there were girls before me that you caused pain, and there will be girls after me, your family just thought that I’d be the one to change you. But you cannot change a person of your mindset. If calling me a monster and controlling helps you live with your life, then I’ll happily join the other crazy ex girlfriends that you damaged. Because you know the truth deep down.

I am grateful to your family, for the people I didn’t expect support from have done nothing but apologies, check up on me, and help me through each day. They don’t believe you my love, because they know you the way you know yourself.

So it is goodbye, and as much as you think it’s on your terms, my gut had been pushing for this for a while. My mood swings, being upset and constant paranoia needed this even if my heart pushed the words back. You have done me a favor, I am free from the pain now.

Here is to a future of trust, real love and being treated the way I deserve.

Here is to me.

#ex boyfriend #abuse #controlling #cheating #heartbreak #goodbye #love #longdistance

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arthur-rex · 4 years

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meta: pendragon paranoia (aka the brainwashing of Arthur Pendragon)

Quick summary: Uther seriously fucked up Arthur’s head when he was a boy, brainwashing an abiding fear of magic in his son (selfishly to ensure that Arthur could never repeal the magic ban on his own). The subsequent suspicion Arthur harbours towards the magical community is deep-rooted, although he doesn’t share the same hatred of sorcerers as his father. However he can and will turn extremely hostile should he feel magic is threatening the kingdom he loves and the people he has sworn to protect.

RP Relevance: So I’ve got a dedicated verse for Arthur going bad like his father. It’s here. So unless something is already plotted looking at a certain someone anything truly dark and nasty with the muse will probably go in there.

Addendum: You (hopefully) won’t see me RP this side of Arthur very often. The situation has to be complex enough to involve a large number of triggers to push Arthur (who is still one of the good guys) into this mindset. But I will continue to occasionally reference it in RPs throughout the verses because it’s there in my Arthur’s psyche. We can’t just cut out and/or ignore the nastier side of his upbringing by Uther.

This summary ought to do with a bit of unpacking though. Ok, let’s get the definition up (from good old Wiki)

Paranoia is an instinct or thought process which is believed to be heavily influenced by anxiety or fear, often to the point of delusion and irrationality. Paranoid thinking typically includes persecutory, or beliefs of conspiracy concerning a perceived threat towards oneself (i.e. “Everyone is out to get me”). Paranoia is distinct from phobias, which also involve irrational fear, but usually no blame. Making false accusations and the general distrust of other people also frequently accompany paranoia. For example, an incident most people would view as an accident or coincidence, a paranoid person might believe was intentional. Paranoia is a central symptom of psychosis.

... that was a long definition, sorry. But it’s a useful reference point going forward.

Arthur Pendragon is a psychological mess. He hides it very well as a good prince / king / leader of the people must, but it’s still there.

Most of that is due to the huge amount of stress he is under to live up to a high level of expectations. To Uther, he’s the Crown Prince of Camelot and heir of the Pendragon dynasty. To Merlin, he’s the Once and Future King with that great big destiny to fulfil. To the people of Camelot, he is their Champion and Protector. He is literally the one who keeps them all safe at night. That is a lot of responsibility and pressure for anybody at any age. Which... is the reason why I headcanon Arthur indulges in sex quite a bit. Poor boy simply needs the release.

Sometimes, Arthur just wants to take a break from it all and go off to live on a farm with his girlfriend and manservant.

But Uther is a very controlling father.

Arthur is not allowed to just leave. Uther has invested a lot (e.g sacrificed his own wife) into getting what he wants, and that is a son and heir worthy to continue his legacy. Now he has to make sure the investment pays off.

So Uther made his own plans for Arthur, putting him through intensive knight training from birth to ensure he became the greatest warrior of the five kingdoms. He also organised an arranged marriage for Arthur when he is old enough to further cement Camelot’s position. Throughout it all, he was trying to mould his son into becoming the king he wanted him to be. It was about making sure Uther’s legacy following the Purges was upheld and that Camelot’s laws forbidding sorcery prevailed. Arthur could not show any signs of deviating from Uther’s vision on this point. In the final push, Uther had to make sure his son not only acted in the way he was expected to - but he also thought and behaved in the way he was supposed to as well.

And he could only guarantee that level of instinctive behaviour by making sure Arthur carried the same fear and suspicion of sorcery as he had. Because emotions cannot be so easily challenged and/or removed as misguided beliefs. Uther knew his conditioning would stay with Arthur, influencing his decisions long after he was gone. Even if on a conscious level Arthur later rejected his father’s teachings, even if he grew to resent what had been done to him - those warped feelings towards the magical community would remain. Uther’s brainwashing had already gone too deep.

Arthur was always going to be an easy target for such abuse. He loved and respected his father. Uther was the only parent he had growing up. He had no other role model. Arthur would have readily absorbed any horror stories Uther told him about magic as gospel. He was probably only 7 years old when the emotional conditioning started.

In fact, I’ve already documented some of this childhood abuse already in RP. The warning signs have always been there.

Sorcerers. They are the worst kind of traitors known in our kingdom. You must be vigilant, Arthur. Do not allow them to influence your judgement. They’ll come to you, as a friend, promising to offer you help. And then they’ll take away the very thing that you love most in this world. That is why they cannot be trusted. That is why they must be hunted down and exterminated. All of them.

( x - RP with @aquestionthatsneverbeenposed )

Listen to me, Arthur. They are an evil people. You must never trust a sorcerer, nor lower your guard in their company. The laws of Camelot are the only force we have to save us from their depravity. Closing his eyes, Arthur can still hear the distinct echo of Uther’s voice in his head from all those years ago. Viciously imprinting his doctrine into the impressionable mind of a young blond boy.

( x - RP with @lespendragons )

There are plenty more examples scattered throughout my writing, but... you get the gist. I’ve also compiled a short list of some of the nasty things Arthur saw in the court of magic users abusing their powers and hurting his people here.

Right. So why did I choose to give the muse this gaping mental flaw that sets him up as a possible antagonist for future RP interactions? Besides some interesting narrative possibilities, of course.

Two reasons:

1. It goes some way to explain why Merlin in canon continues to withhold his secret from Arthur, even after Uther died.

2. It gives further insight into why Arthur has always been so desperate for his father’s approval. Arthur’s fear pushes him into a habit of turning to strong rulers, instead of relying on his own judgement. We see this behaviour throughout season 4, where Arthur seeks advice from Agravaine when his kingship is tested because in his paralysis he needs to be told by an authority figure what to do. We see it again in S5E3 where Arthur summons his father’s own damn ghost because he still needs Uther to tell him he’s doing the right thing for Camelot. The paranoia of his perceived enemies closing in around him drives him to seek that level of reassurance.

This is the Pendragon paranoia. It’s a major headcanon. The reason I’ve dedicated a whole meta to it is because it’s the biggest hurdle in the reformation of Arthur’s character for him to overcome if he’s to accept magic back into the kingdom.

Arthur is not a saint, he’s a flawed hero. His weaknesses must be addressed if he’s to successfully become the King Arthur that Merlin and all our other protagonists aspire him to be. And Merlin in canon has already started this healing process with every conversation they have about how he’s different from his father, and that’s ok. There are other ways to be a strong ruler rather than simply following his father’s ingrained example.

Canon Arthur knows this, as does mine, and they both will/do get there in their respective understandings eventually. Just. Watch out for any dramas if things are pushed too quickly in that direction. And/or other events spiral out of control. Dark!Arthur is real and a potential consequence.

#Pendragon paranoia #Arthur Pendragon #Uther Pendragon #tw: mental health #tw: emotional manipulation #meta #//a bit long and ponderous but I have a lot of thoughts and feelings on this #//please don't hate my characterisation of Arthur too much *silent prayer for the fallen*#dark!Arthur #v. rex tremendae majestatis

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wolfhednn · 5 years

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— character chart pt. 3

the third installment – !

PERSONALITY CONT.

SOFT SPOT people who are grieving. cats. timid people. it’s hard to say ‘ soft spot ’ for some of these though because i don’t think it’s so much a soft spot as it is that felix is pretty aware of other people’s emotions and is responsive to them, and despite his prickly personality, he isn’t cruel. if he knows someone’s going through a genuinely hard time, he’s going to be a little gentler with them. he won’t sugarcoat, but he’s still empathetic. if he notices that he’s frightening or upsetting someone, he’s not going to keep doing it just to be mean. cats are actually just a soft spot though. cover him in kitties.

IS THIS SOFT SPOT OBVIOUS TO OTHERS? since cats is the only real soft spot there by definition, not.... overtly haha. in Classic Felix Fashion, he’s not demonstrative about his fondness for cats; he doesn’t go off about them or anything. even when they’re brought up, his line in simply “oh i agree. i don’t dislike cats” which sounds neutral to just about everyone. he’s not the type to just gush over even things he is passionate about. but he absolutely would rescue and attempt to nurse to health a box of abandoned kittens.

GREATEST STRENGTH likely his resilience. felix is very strong person, and not only physically. mentally and emotionally, he can withstand a lot, and he’s good at compartmentalizing things in healthy ways and taking care of himself. it takes a lot to break him; i might even go as far as to say that i don’t know if it would be possible to break his spirit. he finds his reasons for moving forward, but without shoving things under a rug or letting his reasons for moving on consume him to an unhealthy degree. that doesn’t mean, as he states in his A support with dimitri, that he’s not human — he certainly feels grief, struggles with pain, and at times feels lost — but he manages to find himself again.

GREATEST VULNERABILITY OR WEAKNESS in a sense, for felix, these are kind of two different questions. i’d say his greatest vulnerability is the people he cares about. it’s hard to hurt felix directly; he’s confident in himself, he’s capable, and he’s independent. he doesn’t rely on other people’s perceptions, and he’s thick-skinned. but if the people he cares about are in trouble, that becomes a big concern of his. we see it in the way he fixates on dimitri’s pain ( though he externalizes concern as anger ).

his greatest weakness, or flaw, would probably be either that he tends to be rather narrow-minded, or that he’s egregiously out of touch with his own emotions and has trouble identifying, processing, and externalizing them in beneficial ways.

BIGGEST REGRET that he couldn’t do anything to save his brother. even though he knows it’s an irrational regret to have — there’s literally nothing he could have done; he wasn’t even there — he still can’t help feeling like it.

MINOR REGRET the times he’s actually hurt people with his words. felix is harsh with his words and he doesn’t consider that to be a flaw, but he does still feel bad when he goes too far and says something genuinely hurtful, even the times when he meant what he said ( mostly having to do with his father ). his pride often gets in the way of admitting that wrongdoing in the moment, and especially with his father, who’s equally as proud and unapologetic, he never actually has apologized.

BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENT becoming a very strong and acknowledged swordsman and warrior in his own right. he knows it was bound to happen — with an upbringing like his and surrounded by the fraldarius mindset ( which is, in fact, something of unique microcosm of its own in faerghus ) — but he also lived in glenn’s shadow for 13 years, arguably longer, and is proud every time he’s recognized for his own abilities, for what they are and what he’s done. this is an ongoing thing he strives for and continues to improve on, of course, but it is also a point of pride at what he’s already achieved.

MINOR ACCOMPLISHMENT generally speaking, every time he bests a worthy opponent, either in a real fight or a spar. few things make him feel better than that, or give him as much of an adrenaline and endorphin rush. he earned that victory through skill alone.

PAST FAILURES HE WOULD EMBARRASSED TO LET OTHER PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT felix hasn’t lost his virginity because he never loses it’s hard to pinpoint just one because felix would be embarrassed about people knowing about any failures, big or small. tripped over a root? you didn’t see that. lost a sparring match? never happened. they’re mostly things of that nature and other dumb, inconsequential stuff, like the time he tried to cook something but he was distracted and forgot to add oil to the pan and almost burned down the kitchen when he was twelve. stuff like that.

CHARACTER’S DARKEST SECRET it would probably be the highly personal details of his relationship with his father, particularly the feelings of abandonment and favoritism. he doesn’t like to admit that it happened, or that he still struggles with resentment about it. as far as he wants anyone else to know, he just dislikes his father for his views.

DOES ANYONE ELSE KNOW? no one.

GOALS

DRIVES AND MOTIVATIONS as he says, the drive to become ever stronger. this is pretty much his primary motivation in life as it is for him. everything he does is in some way in pursuit of it. ( and that, of course, is in turn motivated by the drive to protect those he cares about. )

IMMEDIATE GOALS defeating byleth. and then defeating byleth soundly.

LONG TERM GOALS felix doesn’t really do long-term planning. he works towards the next thing that’s in front of him. all he knows for the long term is that he wants to continue aiming to be the strongest warrior he can be, in whatever form that ends up taking.

HOW THE CHARACTER PLANS TO ACCOMPLISHED THESE GOALS keeping up his training, of course. but he recognizes that becoming a better warrior is more than just doing the same things over and over. he’s always watching others and learning from their styles and tactics, finding ways to take what works for him and improve his own skills. he watches byleth, learns the way they fight, makes it part of his own. he knows that getting better at a skill that’s as much mechanical as it is creative like fighting isn’t a linear progression and takes not only dedication, but open-mindedness.

HOW OTHER CHARACTERS WILL BE AFFECTED by being beaten jkjshdhf but in reality, probably not at all. felix kind of exists in his own felix-centric sphere; he doesn’t impose much on other people, and prefers that they don’t impose much on him. but the stronger he becomes, the more he’ll be able to protect those around him. so ideally, other characters would be affected by not dying, i guess.

#▐ ⊰ ᴡᴀʀʀɪᴏʀ ᴀᴛ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ⊱ meta.#. ⊰ ❛ ᴡᴀʀʀɪᴏʀ ᴀᴛ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ⊱ * meta — ✘#. ⊰ ❛ ʜᴇᴀᴠᴇɴ sʜᴀʟʟ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ sɪʟᴇɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʙʀᴀᴠᴇ ⊱ * meta — ✘#. ⊰ ❛ ʜᴇᴀᴠᴇɴ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀs ᴛʜᴇ sɪʟᴇɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʙʀᴀᴠᴇ ⊱ * meta — ✘

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diwatang-sirena · 5 years

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Food For Thought: Is it possible that Daenerys' storyline is going to go a similar route to Darth Vader's?

Now before you guys protest, especially the die-hard Dany stans, just hear me out on this. I’m a fan of both Vader and Dany, and as much as I wish that Dany will not turn into an antagonist, let’s not discount the possibility and try to look at her story in a different perspective. Okay? Then keep reading.

If you’re not familiar with Vader’s story in Star Wars (but how tho??), protagonist Anakin Skywalker started out as a poor, innocent slave boy who happened to have a very strong connection with the force. He’s even assumed to be the “Chosen One” from the prophecies that would balance the Dark and the Light sides of the Force. So he ends up training to become a Jedi with the hopes of freeing his slave mother whom he left behind in Tattooine, his home planet.

Eventually Anakin grows up to be a good but slightly arrogant teenager who is manipulated further by Emperor Palpatine (who’s posing as a good guy in the Senate). And because he’s fully aware of his natural talent, he’s even pushed further by the fact that the Jedi Council does not fully acknowledge his merits when he deserves them. One of the key moments in his transition is when he finds his mother murdered, which led him to his first act of madness when he massacred the tribe that stole her away.

But the final straw was when he dreamt that his secret wife, Padme, might possibly die through childbirth. This made him seek even more power to save his wife and unborn child, of which he was unable to do with his mother, and it eventually blinded him from seeing the good that his comrades and loved ones were trying to do to help him.

At this point, he concluded that by being the most powerful, most fearsome Jedi on earth, he can prevent every terrible fate that could happen to the ones he loved. So he helped the Emperor massacre the whole Jedi Council, including the innocent children, in order to be stronger using the dark side of the Force. And you know the rest, his wife died in childbirth, indirectly because of his actions, and thinking that his mentor and brotherly figure Obi-Wan betrayed him and left him to die, he eventually became reborn as Darth Vader, now completely overwhelmed by hatred.

And it’s not until the last minute when Luke, his son with Padme, helped bring him back to the Light when Vader chose to protect his son with his life instead of letting Palpatine kill him, ultimately fulfilling his prophecy as the Chosen One.

See the pattern here? Daenerys seems to be following quite a similar path, with her initially being a poor, helpless girl with a very tough upbringing who eventually gained power to protect the common folk. Not only that, but she also has something to do with the “Azor Ahai” Prophecy about the “Prince/Princess that was Promised”, although whether or not this means her, Jon, or their future child is yet to be seen.

Unfortunately, just like Anakin, Daenerys has been shown to have lingered in between the light and dark at times, such as burning her enemies or using fear to bend people to her will when her patience runs out. Of course I won’t deny that some of these actions are considered necessary considering that some of her enemies don’t do well with peace pacts or respectful discussions, most especially when they go through lengths to disrespect her as a woman.

But as much as I love Dany, I can’t deny that some of her actions, regardless of where she came from and how she came to be, are not doing her any favors with the Westerosi. Like Anakin, she has been slowly losing sight of what has been her main goal in the beginning of her pursuit; to save the people who suffered like she did and to find a place to truly call home. Now most of her focus is gaining her right to the Iron Throne, while slowly losing bits of emotion here and there especially when betrayal hits her at one front to another.

That is, until dear honorable Jon Snow came along.

Just like how Anakin and Padme’s forbidden love story ended up changing the Jedi forever, Jon and Dany’s love story seems to be a must in breaking the wheel of the current world, not just in politics, but the fate of the world itself. After all, Melisandre has prophesied that both of them have a very important role to play in the Azor Ahai prophecy in stopping the Night King.

Whether you ship them or not, you can’t deny that these two were bound to have a special connection thanks to their parallel journeys and their secret Targaryen relation. It’s interesting to note that in the beginning, all that Jon ever wanted was to become acknowledged as a Stark, arrogantly thinking that he had it worse than everyone else. Now that he’s constantly given all these burdens and high positions, he’s become more humble and doesn’t enjoy being the leader that people turn to.

Dany, on the other hand, was a meek and afraid little girl, having no idea in the beginning that she was capable of becoming more, no thanks to Viserys’ abuse. But as time went by, she began to grow as her own person and became more and more powerful, which unfortunately led her to become quite arrogant at times.

While Jon’s been shown to have a harder time killing more and more people out of duty, especially when he began to realize that not everything is in black and white, Dany has been shown to be having an easier time disposing people who defy her, even the ones who used to be on her side. It’s not to say she hasn’t tried doing things the gentler way, but a lot of if not all the peace talks she’s attempted with her adversaries have never really gone smoothly. Not to mention, most of the people she had placed her trust in in the beginning have either betrayed or left her at some point.

To be fair, we can’t have two exact copies of “Jon Snow” in the GOT world. That wouldn’t make much of an interesting story now can it?

With that said, it seems possible that Jon’s role in GOT is quite similar to Luke’s trope as the reluctant hero of the story, the one who saves the whole world by saving their loved one from being completely immersed into the Dark Side.

Of course, we haven’t seen Dany turn completely mad just yet, and I personally hope it would never happen. But the first two episodes of Season 8 has compelled me to imagine the uncomfortable possibility of what it would be like if Daenerys does end up becoming a villain. Her thirst for the crown has been focused on too many times to deny in the first two episodes of the final season, and it seems that not even her love for Jon would let her set aside her quest for the crown completely, at least not yet.

But there’s also a possibility that their future child, if the constant foreshadowing in Season 7 comes to fruition, might also be a strong factor in changing her mindset, just like how Vader’s love for Padme and his children compelled him to eventually turn away from the Dark Side. Most importantly, their child might also have a huge role in stopping the second Long Night from happening, however possible that is, if he/she/they have something to do with the prophecy.

Another interesting possibility that’s been pointed out by some fans is that the only person other than Jon that might stop Dany from her road to Mad Queen status is the woman who currently checks up all the boxes of said status.

Cersei may not have the pure intentions that Dany has, but they do have a common factor of wanting to gain and remain in power no thanks to their past experiences of having their father/brother control most of their lives in the early parts of the series (Tywin with Cersei, and Viserys with Dany). I’d personally wager that Dany is still far from Cersei’s “Mad Queen” level, because at the very least Dany still has a few good and true comrades to help keep her feet on the ground. As Tyrion told Cersei, at least Dany has enough brains and empathy to listen to their advice at times, whereas Cersei would never do so unless it benefits only her.

This Cersei-Dany parallel would be a pretty similar situation with, again, Darth Vader and Luke. Just when Luke battles with his father and was almost on the verge of killing him, he stops when he sees his father’s robotic hand, realizing how similar they actually are and how much the Dark Side has affected Vader in the worst ways, which he himself almost fell into if he didn’t see the truth with his own eyes.

After the Battle of Winterfell is over, and Daenerys sees the remnants of the Night King's power while also coming to terms with Jon’s status as the rightful heir, perhaps Dany might reconsider and reflect on her true purpose in attaining the Seven Kingdoms. True there's also a huge possibility that she'll turn even darker than before, especially if her close comrades die/leave her, leaving her feeling more alone and out of place. But perhaps after seeing Cersei the way she is, with no true friends, no family, and no love left in her except the crown on her head, this might lead Dany to see the hard truth; The Iron Throne isn’t worth her humanity.

With that said, whether or not Dany turns into a true antagonist is yet to be seen. Contrary to some fans' predictions of her dying in the end, I actually believe that she'll survive, but not without huge consequences of course, which is carrying the guilt with her for the rest of her life. For some people, continuing to find the will to live can be much harder than dying a quick death.

Having her killed off easily as a villain without redemption or in childbirth for me is a very big disservice to those who have watched/read her whole journey since Season 1 and the 1st book. I doubt that George R.R. Martin created Dany only to make her a Cersei 2.0 in the end. It would be the such an injustice for the series to conclude with Dany’s faults completely overshadowing the many good things she has done for the ones without power, especially during her time in Essos.

We have yet to see how low Dany would go to seize power as Vader would, and I’m extremely worried about how much it would affect everyone’s view of her till the very end, especially as a character that was so beloved for the whole 7 seasons, only to have her hated by most without proper redemption at the final season. Yes, as a GOT fan I’m glad that Dany’s being given a wakeup call that her idea of ruling has its flaws and does not suit everybody. But if she is really meant to betray Jon and the rest, I seriously wish that whatever payoff the writers have for Dany will be worth it in the end. Especially when there’re only a handful of episodes left.

And if people really think that Jon would easily leave Dany just like that, then boy, have they not been paying attention to Jon’s character development. Jon has already chosen duty over love several times, with one of those choices leading indirectly to his first love’s death. I highly doubt that Jon would ever leave Dany alone like that, even with all her faults, especially if she’s with child and if they do get married even if out of duty.

Just like how Padme never stopped believing that there is good in Anakin till her dying breath, it’s in Jon’s persona that he would do everything in his power to keep Daenerys from falling completely into the dark and feeling alone. I won’t be surprised if Jon would choose to take the fall for/with Daenerys if she is to be punished for whatever wrongdoing she’s about to do. That’s just the type of guy he is.

With that said, we have no choice but to wait until Episode 3 and 4 to really see where Daenerys’ morality will be going. As with every season, with every new episode that comes out, anything is possible. I still hold onto the hope that the writers know exactly what they’re doing with Daenerys and that it’ll be true to what George R.R. Martin really intended for her, although I’m already a bit wary at how they’re currently handling her responses. If her path is to go the same way as Vader’s like I guessed, I can only hope that they can do enough justice to make her memory worthwhile.

If not... there’s always hope for the books. And fanfiction.

#daenerys targaryen #a random thought #darth vader #got #got spoilers #game of thrones #jon snow #jonerys #star wars

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oppressiveliberator · 5 years

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What were Ghetsis’ parents like? How did they raise him?

((I feel like I may have strayed away from answering a little bit. . .so if you want more information, feel free to ask!! but uh hopefully this answers the question at least a little bit!

also i am so so sorry if this doesn’t cut on mobile i tried

Ghetsis's parents were somewhere along the lines of your typical members of the Harmonia family. Serious and industrious, Harmonias tend to be ambitious and goal-oriented with a good amount of perfectionism and maybe a bit too much traditionalism. No room for failure. Set up for success.

Ghetsis was raised like many of his family were--pushed into doing this, trying that, pursuing one thing or another. He absolutely minded it, but if he made a fuss, his parents, hell a good amount of his whole family, would make a fuss right back, and he learned to play the part of a normal and good little boy--but he was happy to do the things he was interested in, like music. Most if not all Harmonia children are pushed towards musical arts in their upbringing, unless they show skill in another field(especially the arts.) Ghetsis learned to sing and play instruments, and because he actually enjoyed doing so, he excelled at it and was held in high regard by his parents and older relatives.

And even the things he wasn't so interested in, he, for his own pride and with the encouragement and eyes of his family on him, saw little room for error or failure. He was the best, and his family proclaiming him a prodigy among an already prodigal family, his parents pushing him more and more. . .it was stressful, but pleasing, the attention and admiration and pride.

They remained blissfully unaware to Ghetsis's antisocial behaviors. The stress he felt manifested in abusive and manipulative behavior towards Pokémon and other people where he could get away with it--and as the golden child(and eventually as he realized his inert, passive magical influence over people) he could get away with a lot. Of course, atop that, Ghetsis learned to act very well--as sometimes he couldn't get away with everything, and to be less inhibited he could easily play the part of a normal son. They didn't know how bad Ghetsis had gotten until, well, around BW, if they were alive at the time. (I'm still undecided as to whether or not they're still alive--people in the Pokémon world probably live pretty long lives, y'know?)

Ghetsis was raised by his parents, his family, and their house staff--the Harmonias are a massive and wealthy family, so Ghetsis never truly learned want. He had the best tutors money and influence could buy. If he wanted toys? Games? Food? Trips? Friends? He had them. They found his lack of overall interest in Pokémon as pets a bit odd--they had plenty around, they had plenty of familial ties to their Pokémon, plenty of relatives who worked with them or were skilled trainers, coordinators, actors, athletes with their Pokémon and Ghetsis didn't really seem to care for them much outside of their battling abilities and on a behavioral level and how they could benefit him. When it came to pokémon knowledge, training, he remained a genius and remained skilled. With that in mind, they figured his lack of interest was simply a focused mindset on work and improvement.

Of course, when his passive ability to get his way didn't work as well, they could also be quite strict with him. Asking questions, doing prohibited things, talking back, getting dirty, making messes, breaking rules, these all were, of course, met with discipline, though not nearly as bad as Ghetsis would come to discipline others. Ghetsis, until he learned to play the part of the perfect son, would get into his fair share of troubles for his backtalk and smart mouth and aggressive, tantrum-like demands.

A good son, a good Harmonia, wouldn't act like that. For a while, he was a spoiled brat. While they were wealthy and had a background in the politics and royalty of the region, as power began to become more democratic they dropped their regality--but Ghetsis learned of it in his studies, both personal and tutored, and began to lionize himself. This calm and powerful royal attitude only brought his parents more pride. Perhaps he'd grow into law or politics! He could be a top tier trainer, an Elite Four member, perhaps open a gym or even become Champion! With his skills in the arts, he could become a singer, a musician, with his practical knowledge, a scientist, a mathematician, a doctor--his parents and family at large made sure he knew the great many things he could do and could be growing up. His tutoring got more intense--he quickly grasped the 'elementary' and middle school requirement levels of schooling, and did high school and even some college equivalent work until he was old enough to head out on his journey as a Pokémin trainer.

They were strict and demanding and pushy, but proud of the prodigal son they had.

Heavily being raised around his own family members, Ghetsis gained little tolerance for people unlike them--or, rather, unlike him. So long as the flaws and idiocies Ghetsis pointed out weren't those of his parents, they remained proud. The lack of exposure to the vast and variant world didn't occur to them as being dangerous--Ghetsis learned about the world in books and media anyway.

Ghetsis never had want for anything and was scarcely denied anything.

Except for magic.

The worst punishment he ever remembered receiving from his parents was when he was some 3-5 years old and first became aware of his own magical abilities. They were quick and aggressive with shutting it down, telling him not to do, pursue, or think about it ever again. They themselves thought magic to be unnatural for humans--something Pokémon had, and as such something inhuman, barbaric, inappropriate. They were rather religious also--and so humans using the powers Pokémon could. . .it was a bit blasphemous to them.

Ghetsis learned that the higher powers--be they the spirits in everything the more Native Unovan side of his family spoke of, or Arceus or the Original Dragon or Zekrom or Reshiram or God or whatever else--made the rules. Below them were other, human higher powers. . .and he didn't understand. Was shut down for his blasphemy.

They control Pokémon. Why view them as gods?

Most of the Harmonia family was religious. They figured he would grow out of it in time, so he was scolded until he learned to behave, though it was one of the few things he never really bothered to fake. He acknowledged them as stronger, creatures to be respected, whether he believed that or not, but never fully acknowledged them as gods, so much as controllers of many parts of nature. It was close enough for his parents.

All in all? Ghetsis was very much spoiled. Ghetsis got what he wanted from his parents and family. He was the prodigal golden child and he could get away with damn near anything as a result. They raided him somewhat religiously and never really grasped that it didn't quite click to him that some Pokémon were to be revered as gods.

They were pushy and encouraged him to pursue any field he wanted to--which led to ghetsis having a lot of fingers in everything and great pressure on him. They didn't notice the stress this caused because Ghetsis never showed it. They never noticed his antisocial and other behavioral/emotional problems because ghetsis learned to hide them to get his way. He was skilled, genius, confident, he was the best son they could ask for(aside from things like doing chores and the like but they paid people for that stuff.) He could have anything he wanted and do anything he wanted so long as he respected them, respected the deity Pokémon, and didn't use magic. They shoved their interests at him, paraded him around. Damn near the whole family used him as a model for what a good child should have been.

In the end, Ghetsis turned ten, got his trainer's license. and set off on his own journey. He was offered the best and strongest and best bred Pokémon money could buy for his starter--Pokémon already well above the strengths of his peers and then some--but he humbly started small with a Tynamo he would raise himself. His parents frowned upon this--a Tynamo was so weak and incapable! He could at least get a head start with an Eelektrik, something that wasn't a baby that couldn't even learn moves via TM/HM, but he wanted to raise it and strengthen it all by himself--he didn't need their help with training. He was an "adult" now. He was old enough to be on his own and out in the world and they'd always boasted at how skilled and smart he was! so why not let him challenge himself and show just how good he was by raising something pathetic into something amazing?

They were befuddled when he came back home, still with the measly little Tynamo, and decided to challenge a family member to a battle--his Tynamo against their Palpitoad. They had a Tympole that they were 'using improperly' he said--and he'd take it if he won.

And even though all Tynamo could do was tackle, it still fucked up that Palpitoad and everybody was shocked and impressed. And Ghetsis went back off with his new little tiny fish, saying that he would take Pokémon from anyone who misused them. The Tympole had amazing stats--and they wanted to use it for music, when clearly it should be a battling Pokémon. Pokémon abusers and misusers beware--and his parents were so proud of his sense of justice.

Proud and completely ignorant.

They checked in on him and invited him home regularly and he visited as he made his way through the region collecting badges and pokémon and studying Unovan history--a historian, an archeologist! They stayed proud of Ghetsis for a long time and kept contact with him until he started to speak less to them, mainly as he was busy travelling the world.

When Ghetsis messed up his arm, he was in his teens or early 20′s at most. He refused to tell them what had happened to it, and they were concerned for their boy having had lost his dominant arm. They wanted him to see doctors, get all kinds of treatment and if it couldn’t be restored it could be replaced with the best tech available, but Ghetsis refused. They’d had a similar reaction to the loss of his eye. His refusals confused them--and made them a bit angry. He’d always said he was perfect, was going to be the best, they wanted him to be the best and represent the family as the best so why allow himself to stay in these conditions? But they still respected his decision even if they were a bit disgusted and heavily disagreed. That he continued to be so successful despite his injuries made them proud, certainly, but “think of what you could do if you were better” and so on.

One day, while living back at the Estate as he did some research and business in Unova, Ghetsis brought home a little green baby. His parents didn't know he had a partner at the time. . .he said he was going to the woods as he often did, but he came back with a child? Who was this child's mother? The child looked like Ghetsis in damn near every facial feature. They couldn’t get the information out of him and couldn’t work it out themselves. He was very dismissive with regards to any questions about the child.

When Ghetsis's family began to realize Natural's seeming ability to understand Pokémon and communicate with them, that who turned to what quickly. What was that thing? His parents were horrified--they'd discouraged his magic, and yet Ghetsis, while surprised, was not offput by this freakish ability at all. Under pressure from his family, the child was supposedly discarded, returned to the woods for fate to decide. Displeased, Ghetsis moved back out, saying he had more work he needed to do elsewhere.

Their relationship got a bit rockier after that. . . . And with Ghetsis being busy with Team Plasma and his other pursuits, nothing ever really got clarified or made up for, their communicating becoming less and less as Ghetsis got busier.

#long post #((god i hope to everything this actually cuts on mobile))#Family | I'm Here To Be Your Only Go Between #History | Who’d Ever Dream A Child As Sweet As I Seemed Would Be The Source Of So Much Pain And Strife #Headcanon | The Horror That He Brings The Horror Of His Sting The Unholiest Of Kings #Worldbuilding | Show Me Where Can Do How Can Do It Who Can Do This With You #abib918 #((thank you very much for the ask❣))

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corey-067 · 5 years

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Whump Prompt - Torture Pt.2

I’m not intending on doing all of these, some of them just don’t work for the mindset of my characters, but getting to know them better somehow always ends up with them having their backsides handed to them.

The list can be found here.

The usual trigger warnings, torture, violence, blood, some injury detail. Torture is much more mental this time around, with only references to the others. Sometimes I really hate the way that my mind goes “That looks bad for [Them], but it could be so much worse!”

Darian had met the Major on a handful of occasions, though she tended to steer clear of the vast majority of the day to day workings of the ward, her authority was absolute. There were thousands of them, but the rumor was that she read the reports on every candidate who came through her facility. She was incredibly perceptive, and unlike the vast majority of her staff, a Psion.

When she'd passed through the facility herself, the commanders noted that she had a talent for telepathy, but due to her upbringing, she lacked much more than a basic level of empathy. She also had a habit of waiting until a person was at their lowest moment and slipping unnoticed into their minds.

The day started in a pretty average fashion, in the form of several live-fire exercises and hand-to-hand combat drills. Darian passed the weapons tests, but the martial skills were a far more significant challenge, given the state of his battered body. Torture was something which was thankfully not a daily occurrence; the timing was always randomized to stop the recruits preparing themselves specifically for it, and so Darian was released to his quarters to rest.

His mind was a maze of half-finished possibilities, his thoughts an intricate web which he didn't always comprehend. Last night he was certain that he had felt Gwen in that shower chamber with him, that she had been present, living and breathing, rather than merely a figment of his tortured psyche. The sense that she was alive was something that buoyed him up beyond any success of his own because if she was alive, he could find her. They had been in this fight together since the night they'd discovered their abilities, and no amount of time or distance would change that for him.

The connection she felt had come as a shock to Gwen, the surge of pain that swelled around a ball of sheer resolve had rocked her to her core. She had felt it before, but always to a far lesser degree. It was as though there was an explosion in a highly contained area. Neither of them was the same people they were when the factions took them, the act in itself had changed a thousand things instantly. She still remembered his outstretched hand, the surge of energy as their fingertips brushed, so close to remaining together through whatever lay ahead when their eyes had latched onto the craft about to open fire on them. His hands had glowed, then flared into a shield, absorbing the blast so that the vessel could escape, saving her life, but overwhelming him in the process.

She saw that every time her torture became too much, the same way that she gave him the strength to persevere. The void that had filled the space between them, planets apart, was something that she had insisted was a necessity, because to seek him out for her comfort could've been disastrous for them both. Grateful though she was that he was alive, despite his current state, it was something that she needed to be on guard against, just in case they'd finally, successfully broken him, intent on using her as a way to infiltrate the Sumeri Psions.

Water poured over scars and fresher wounds in various states of healing as she cleaned herself at the end of another long, brutal day. Surgically precise markings crisscrossed with jagged, unrefined scars from her torturers' hands. Exhaustion overcame her, so she quickly wrapped herself and stumbled back to her meticulously prepared barrack room, sinking into a deep, nightmare-filled sleep.

Darian gave up on sleep after about an hour, deciding that it was best to still himself before entertaining the idea of it again. He hadn't learned to heal, but he could minimize the amount of suffering his injuries caused him, though today's were little more than a few bruises. He didn't move from his meditative position as he heard the footsteps approach his door, or even when it opened, the young Psion assuming that it was just another patrol ensuring that another of their number hadn't tried to kill themselves because of their torture breaking them.

His mental shielding was firmly in place, a state he insisted on maintaining at all times, but he was surprised by the familiar nudge, something he hadn't felt in... no. That was impossible, wasn't it?

Green eyes opened, immediately losing themselves in a sea of sparkling blue. Forgetting composure, Darian rose from the floor in a single fluid motion, taking three steps forward until he was barely an inch from her. The tingling sense of another person's energy swept across the surface of him, telling him that she was very much real. "I missed you, so much, Gwen." His voice cracked in mid-sentence as a single tear trickled into the dimple of Gwen's smile. His fingers brushed her cheek, thumb offering the gentlest caress to wipe the tear away.

"I've been with you every day." Even had he not trusted the young woman before him with everything he was, he could feel that the words were the truth. He carried her with him everywhere, and he with her. The very essence of what made them who they were, intertwined in such a way that he didn't understand it even now.

The part of him that was still alert to his surroundings moved quickly to pull her in the door, allowing it to shut. Footsteps walked past the cell, fading into the distance. Releasing a breath he didn't realize he was holding, Darian found an odd sensation. Reaching up to touch his cheeks, he realized it was because he was smiling for the first time, genuinely, for years. "Best make sure you don't get caught here. If they found out you've made it this far... I hate to think what might happen to you."

Gwen's lips curved into a gentle smile, and she pressed her cheek to his palm as they sat down. "What was that you were doing, Dar?" She murmured.

"It's a meditative technique," he shrugged quickly. "Something that helps the mind overcome pain."

"They don't teach healing here? Not even the basics?" Gwen seemed surprised, as though it was something that everyone ought to know.

"I expect they do, but you know me," a raw chuckle escaped his throat. "My talents are more aimed elsewhere.

"Sit down, let me show you." They sat as he had before her arrival, cross-legged on the floor. "Feel the fire of the Otherworld as it courses through you, like the blood in your veins." Her voice held a soft lilt to it, a different sort of fire to the one he remembered, but he did as she asked. "Fire burns, but it also cleanses, and it can be used to create. Feel the fire burn away your fatigue, your pain, feel it as it allows your broken parts to meld together." While they sat there, the conversation wandered through small talk, and a pattern began to form. The questions became more and more leading, and he found himself so happy, so comforted by her presence, that he was answering them without thinking, the soft green glow enveloping his slowly mending body.

"What were they torturing you over?" The question seemed innocuous enough, slipped into the conversation just as so many others had been regarding his training here. "Something specific, or just for the sake of 'toughening you up?'"

Darian's conflict was instant. He wanted to tell her; he never kept anything from her. He'd been ordered not to tell anyone, and she was an enemy agent now unless somehow she'd not been taken by the Sumeri after all. She was here, had managed to get this deep into the base without being detected unless they'd let her through. His eyes flickered open for the briefest of moments, seeing her looking as gentle as she ever had, despite all that was done to her, surrounded by a soft yellow aura.

Something inside tried to crumble, the last of his resistance to her barely holding on, the reason for not telling her not being out of loyalty, but in case his commanders were listening. It only took a moment for the sand that was his resolve hardened to stone once more. The healing energy that coursed through him turned deadly as he lit up the room with his power, a pulse which shattered the surrounding walls, sending the now revealed form of the Major tumbling back through the air before she righted herself, pinning him to the ground, pressed under the weight of her greater power.

"It is rare that someone impresses me, recruit." Her telepathic tone wasn't nearly as cold as the shiver that coursed through him suggested. "But I still got far more information from you than I ought to have been able to. Do better next time. Until this is fixed, you have no walls. For now, your secret strength will remain so, but when the time comes, your hand will be the one to kill her."

"As you wish, Major." His response was strained, and she released him as the hall began to fill with people attracted by the detonation.

"You have passed this test, but I expect better next time. You shan't be punished further for this." Her hand swept around to take in the surrounding mess.

Telepathy wasn't his strongest suit, but there had been a brief connection between them when she spoke into his mind, as well as what was necessary for her to fool his senses so thoroughly. "Thank you. For everything that you taught me tonight." Glowing emerald eyes swept around, meeting others with such fury that many turned from their curiosity to find themselves other things to be doing. Someone with the level of focus it took to burst and shred a polymer designed to minimize exactly that was someone that they didn't want focusing on them.

The chilling smile that crept up the Major's face told him everything he needed to know. In this place, nothing escaped her, and nobody was safe.

#Corey writes original fiction #Corey hates himself for this #tw: torture #Whump challenge #character development #Corey is an asshole to his characters

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vide0-nasties · 5 years

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All Fs for ylfa euffie and ww 😘

Fun

1. what do they do for fun?

Eustacia: gets tattoos she's been planning on, takes spa days, creates obscure curses, swimming and swimming and swimming, attempts to turn herself into creatures that don't exist yet, reads the same five books a dozen times, goes to carnal shows, plays dress up and gives herself a makeover.

Ylfa: wanders into places she's not allowed, plays the accordion, creates new characters to play (would DEFINITELY be into dungeons and dragons), wrestles people bigger than her, climbs on anything even slightly vertical, reads anything and everything she can get her hands on, eats all the new food she's offered, cartwheels and somersaults and handstands, meets a stranger and fucks that stranger, teaches get dog new tricks, irritates the living hell out of her fiance.

Wildwood: an abominable southerner - can, has, and will sit on a porch talking from sun-up to sun-down, voracious reader, fan of starting fights and fading into the background to revel like Emperor Nero, horse racing, horse training, trick riding, trick shooting, violin/fiddle playing and autoharp strumming, flatfoot dancing, collecting drinking toasts, trotting out those drinking toasts, singing to herself, giving hokey palm reading and tarot reading sessions to friends.

2. what is their ideal party?

Eustacia: It used to be the nine day revelries surrounding events--weddings, funerals, births, holidays. The heavy, frenetic best of drums, voices flung high in hymns, mead overflowing the cups and spilling over the backs of hands, effigies thrown into massive, cleansing bonfires. The Banshees were there to guard, but they always had their own rebellious and private celebrations behind the Sisters' backs. These days, her ideal party is staying home, doing as she pleases, and doing it with the people she'd bleed for.

Ylfa: Her home country doesn't celebrate the turn of the seasons so much as they mourn the loss of the sun for six months and celebrate its return. Twice a year, the streets are overrun during festivals. It's easy to get lost in it, and no response if them ever find their shape the same. She picks a persona before sneaking from the Beserkr's Temple, and for as long as she can get away with, she's someone else, drinking and dancing and watching plays and performances, drowned in sound and light and bodies.

Wildwood: A 50/50 split between camp parties and anywhere the dancing and music are loud enough to drown out her thoughts. She would rather have the comfort and familiarity of family over the mendacity of maintaining a facade for people she doesn't care about and never will, but she'll gladly accept a night where she doesn't have to hear strange voices so long as they can play a prop as well as she can.

3. who would they have the most fun with?

Eustacia: In another life, she and Julian would've gotten on like a house on fire, he playing the spotlight and her the stagehand, but that's come and gone like the plague. With Asra, she is happiest, the two of them an island in the middle of life, occasionally dragging him back out into the open.

Ylfa: Until recently, Ylfa hasn't had anyone that could or was interested in keeping up with her. She still thinks, sometimes, that she's her it best company, able to make fun for herself wherever she goes.

Wildwood: The gang's young folk have heard all the stories--every iteration of "that one time in..." Every bizarre incident, every close call, every "there's no good reason I didn't die that night." If she was interested in chasing the tradition of that girl-on-fire, she'd take up with Sean, or Karen, or, fuck, even Javier if he's got a certain look in his eye. But girl-on-fire has banked down to woman-in-the-glowing-coals, and slinging a gun so hard she falls face down in the mud, or drunkenly trying to thieve a horse that's actually someone's milk cow doesn't hold a fraction of the allure of sitting under a dusk sky until it's all-dark-full-stars as she and Arthur talk their way through a fifth of cheap bourbon, a pot of coffee, and into their bed rolls.

4. can they have fun while conforming to rules?

Eustacia: As largely a homebody as she is these days, she figures that much isn't illegal unless she's caught, and anything of questionable legal standing can't backfire too badly if it's small-scale enough to fit in the confines of the apartment above the shop.

Ylfa: The action of herself having fun is rarely sanctioned, so even going out to look for it is rule-breaking. And beyond that, she's of a serial-trespasser's mindset: all the good shit happens exactly where you don't belong.

Wildwood: She's of two minds on this. She absolutely can have fun sitting still and running her mouth for hours on end, BUT there's just something about thrill of beautifully-executed, extra-judicial redistribution of funds. Crime is fun, and she's yet to find a feeling like divvying up a score after a good job, even if the shrieking delight of the shine wore off years ago.

5. do they go out a lot?

Eustacia: Not often anymore, no. Besides her trips to the red market, she much prefers her small, badly-kept space to the rest of the world. She doesn't like being places where people can watch her, stare at her with impunity.

Ylfa: As often as she humanly can. Her upbringing has been a long block of isolation--either by choice she didn't make for herself, or forced by someone else's hand. It doesn't matter where she ends up, she always wants to go somewhere she's never been, see things she's never seen. The wanderlust hasn't been burned out of her.

Wildwood: By necessity, she has to constantly be out and about. New jobs don't just form from the ether to fall in her lap. She has to hunt, and prey very, very rarely decides to stumble on to her doorstep.

#:*:*:*:*:*:* thank u me lurve #holler holler get $#oc: eustacia #oc: ylfa #oc: wildwood #unseeliequeens

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