#and i didn't cry again until matt's closing words

[vanteguccir]

Left alone | Matt Sturniolo

Matt Sturniolo x reader

Summary: Where, after a difficult week, Matt takes out all his stress on Y/N, causing great damage to their relationship.

Warning: Fighting, yelling, cursing, dark thoughts. ANGST!

Requested?: Yes, by anons and @ivoncheetooo1239

Author's note: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

Part 2

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"I don't know where you want to get with that, Matt." Y/N sighed, closing her eyes tightly for a few minutes before opening them again, keeping them fixed on the road in front of the car. She had her head resting on her right hand, and her elbow braced next to the passenger door window.

Matt, as usual, had gone to pick up Y/N from work after her shift, but he was surprised to have to wait for an hour in the car for his girlfriend to finally be released, as her boss had demanded that she had to work overtime.

Despite being wrong, Matt felt furious.

His week was more than hectic with the start of sales of the 6 million clothing collection, as he and his brothers had to spend hours autographing photos of themselves that would go with each order. In addition to - by Nick and Chris's choice -, the three of them were the ones who hand-packed the first ones, which resulted in Matt having to stay awake until late hours, and waking up early everyday to fulfill his other tasks.

With all that, having to sit in his car for an hour, with only his phone and in such an uncomfortable seat seemed to increase his irritation, and he couldn't help but start an argument with his girlfriend, feeling like a pressure cooker about to explode.

"I'm just saying that you don't stop at home anymore. You just work all day, as if it was your number one priority in life. And now you've started this nonsense of working overtime!" Matt accused, gesturing exaggeratedly with his right hand while keeping his left one on the steering wheel.

"It's not like I asked to work overtime, Matt! You and your brothers have worked in a grocery store once, you know how it works-"

"Don't you dare bring up Chris and Nick's name. They have nothing to do with your lack of responsibility within a relationship." The boy took his eyes off the road momentarily, giving her a cold look that sent shivers running up her spine.

"Matt, you're being ridiculous! I understand your week has been tiring-" Matt cut the girl off again, shaking his head nervously.

"No, you don't know nothing, Y/N!" His tone was arrogant, a tone that the girl didn't remember ever hearing from him. "I'm exhausted because of my own work, and I still have to come and pick you up every day! And now you make me stay stuck in this car for an hour, waiting for Miss Perfect here to decide to leave." His voice gradually increased in volume.

Y/N could already feel the sensations of the ugly crying that was about to come, taking a deep breath and counting to 10 in her head.

"Then don't pick me up anymore, Matt! You were willing to come every day after my work just until some days ago, but if it's so hard for you now, don't come anymore." Y/N replied, her tone lower than her boyfriend's but still carrying much stress.

"How can you be so ungrateful?" Matt shouted, slamming his hands against the steering wheel violently.

"Matt, look, I'm sorry- Hey, keep your eyes on the road!" Y/N ignored the pang she felt in her heart at the brunette's words, fear rising through her veins as she saw the car move further away from the main road, as a result of his lack of attention.

Her eyes were wide as she raised her hands, ready to grab the steering wheel if necessary.

"You know what? I'm done." Matt spoke through gritted teeth, turning the car sharply to the right until it stopped on the side of the road.

"What are you doing? Matt?" Y/N asked, her breath coming out shakily as her eyes traveled down the dark, deserted street, to her boyfriend's face, which seemed to be covered in a gray cloud of hate.

"I'm done with this. If you don't want to take responsibility for your own mistakes and don't understand the seriousness of this relationship like I do, then maybe it's not worth the effort." He unlocked the doors, crossing his arms and keeping his eyes fixed on the road ahead, his nostrils flaring as a result of his hard breathing.

"M-Matt, don't do that." The girl tried, swallowing hard.

She reached out her hand towards him with the intention of gently touching his arm, but Matt pulling away roughly, as if she were a plague, made her stop abruptly for a few seconds, her hand slowly lowering.

“I need to think, Y/N.” He shook his head, resting his elbows on the steering wheel and laying his head in his hands, closing his eyes tightly. "Get out." He demanded sharply.

Y/N's eyes widened, her heart stopping momentarily.

"W-what? Are you crazy? Look at the time, Matt. How am I going to-"

"Get out." Matt interrupted her, not once looking up. His tone was flat and cold.

Y/N looked at him for a few more seconds, as if waiting for him to apologize and say it was all a sick joke. But that never happened.

She quickly pulled the car handle, grabbing her purse and getting out of the passenger seat. The cold night air hit her body with force as if needles were piercing her skin, eliciting a strong shiver from her members.

Her hand pushed the door hard, closing it, the sound echoing like a dull thud. Her eyes watched the car restart not even a second later, screeching away.

Y/N remained still for a few seconds - or minutes -, watching Matt's car disappear into the distance, her hope of him turning around slowly disappearing.

"Come back." Her voice sounded so broken, just like her insides. "P-please."

She spun around, taking note of the street completely deserted of cars or humans, the only source of life being the streetlights.

The girl quickly hooked her purse onto her right shoulder, crossing her arms tightly around her torso and beginning the steps of the long walk she would have to take to get home - if she even could call that place her home anymore. The possibility of Matt kicking her out after the events made her legs tremble.

Her throat started to hurt from the crying that she was still holding back. The emotions rising in her chest were like bile in her throat; It burned and hurt like never before. Her heart felt like it was being crushed by a human hand, and it didn't take long for loud sobs to escape her lips, her eyes stinging from the hot tears in contact with the freezing wind.

It was minutes of walking without stopping, her feet ached from the tension in her body, a result of the intense cold and the several times she turned back, checking if she wasn't being followed.

The familiar street soon took over her blurred vision, a sigh of relief escaping her lips. Thick tears were still rolling from her eyes, but her sobs had stopped, being replaced by small sniffles.

Y/N shuffled down the sidewalk, passing the houses neighboring hers, before finally stopping in front of her front door. Her hands, practically frozen by the cold, opened her purse in a quick movement, rummaging through the smaller pockets, looking for the key.

She closed her eyes tightly when she couldn't find it, vaguely remembering just throwing it in the glove compartment of Matt's car that morning since she was in such a rush and still eating her breakfast.

Her cheeks burned with embarrassment as she fished out her phone, cursing under her breath when she noticed that the battery was almost all gone. Just her lucky day.

She quickly unlocked the screen, going into her contact list and clicking on Chris's one. The boy answered on the second ring, surprising Y/N.

"Y/N? Thank God, where are you guys?" Chris's voice sounded relieved. Y/N frowned, her mind creating thousands of horrible scenarios as to why Matt hadn't gotten home yet.

The path she took, which took her almost 30 minutes of walking - or more, since she was walking slowly due to the cold - would not even take 15 minutes by car.

"C-Chris, open the door for me. Please." Her voice was broken, her teeth chattering as her body felt the temperature drop even more now that she stood still.

"Are you out there? Alone?" He asked exasperatedly. The sound of his bed shuffling sounded from behind, probably the result of him getting up.

"Yeah... Just hurry, please." Y/N repeated, her tone completely vulnerable.

The line went dead at the same instant. Her right hand - which was holding the device - moved away from her ear quickly, her eyes only finding the negative battery icon.

She threw her phone into her purse again, her eyes prickling with new tears that wanted to flow. Her mind created terrible thoughts about herself and her day, and all she wanted most was to sleep and perhaps never wake up again.

The sound of keys sounded on the other side of the door seconds before it was abruptly opened. Chris's figure appeared, his wide eyes carrying immense concern as they roamed Y/N's body, seeming to search for any injuries.

"Oh my God, you're freezing." He confirmed when he noticed her shaking, gently pulling her inside, before closing the door again. He rubbed his hands over Y/N's arms, which, even though they were covered by the fluffy jacket, were still extremely cold.

The warm air from the heater inside the house welcomed the girl's body gracefully, surrounding her like a thin blanket. She sighed, closing her eyes momentarily.

"Where the hell is Matt? I thought he was going to pick you up." Chris asked exasperatedly, helping her take her purse off her shoulder, hanging it on the rack next to the door.

Y/N felt her eyes fill with tears again at the mention of her boyfriend's name. An ugly sound of choked sobs escaping her throat caught Chris's attention, who stopped his movements and turned his eyes to her.

"Oh no, what did he do?" His tone was gentle as he approached, pulling her into a tight hug as he watched her shake her head in denial repeatedly, her lips trembling. "Let's go to my room, you need a hot shower and fresh clothes."

Chris slowly stepped away, keeping one of his hands on Y/N's shoulders, guiding her through the kitchen and down the stairs towards his own room.

The door was already open - being left like that when the boy rushed after receiving her call -, the two of them just passing through it before Chris closed it, keeping the hot air trapped between the four walls.

"Go take a shower, I'll get you some new clothes from your closet, okay? There's a clean towel in the cabinet under the sink." The boy indicated, watching his sister-in-law nod weakly, a low "thank you" escaping her lips before she could enter the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

It didn't take long for Y/N to step out again, already dressed in the Fresh Love sweatshirt set that Chris placed on the sink - just by putting his arm between the door and the frame.

Even though she wanted to melt like hot water and go down the drain just like her tears that fell imperceptibly, her feet hurt too much to support her weight for even another minute, begging for a rest.

Chris was sitting on the right side of the bed, his back against the headboard and his legs above the duvet, absentmindedly scrolling through his phone, seeming to be waiting for her.

The sound of the bathroom door closing attracted his attention, and he quickly locked his cell, putting it on the bedside table before tapping the empty space next to him, silently calling Y/N to sit there.

The girl walked to the indicated side, lifting the duvet and sitting on the mattress, staying in the same position as Chris, but with her legs covered.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" He asked calmly, watching her closely, trying to read her expressions, but seeing only an ocean of pain in every line of her face and eyes.

"Matt left me in the middle of the road." She swallowed hard, shaking her head while closing her eyes tightly. "We had a fight. My boss demanded from me to work overtime and I forgot to tell Matt, so he ended up waiting for me for an hour in his car. He was tired from the day and the week, and I think the stress built up on both our sides, and he just started yelling at me." Y/N shrugged, sniffing momentarily, trying to hold back her tears.

"Wait, he left you in the middle of the road, alone and in the cold? To come home walking?" Chris's eyes widened, a look of disbelief occupying his blue orbs as he tried to process the information.

"Yeah." The girl's voice sounded low and vulnerable, her head lowering and her eyes focusing on her hands above the duvet, feeling embarrassed by her boyfriend's actions. "I tried to intervene at some point, but he was so mad." She took a deep breath, biting her bottom lip hard, the pain almost numb next to the one she felt in her heart. "I don't know what I did wrong, Chris." Her voice broke, a dry sob escaping her throat.

"I'm so sorry for my brother's actions, Y/N." Chris sighed, shaking his head in disbelief. "I promise you did absolutely nothing wrong. Don't let those thoughts get the best of you."

"I just... Maybe I'm not really giving our relationship enough credit. Or maybe I'm not enough to fit into Matt's life patterns and busy days." She douted, playing with her fingers as a nervous act.

"Why don't you try to get some sleep? I imagine how tired you are and it's late. We can talk about this tomorrow, but try to clean your mind for now, okay?" He suggested.

Chris helped her lay down after receiving a nod of agreement, adjusting the duvet over her body. The girl moved her head, laying it on his left thigh, seeking comfort. He quickly put his hand on her hair, stroking the area calmly, lulling her into sleep.

After making sure she was already dreaming, the boy moved her slowly - so as not to wake her -, laying her completely on the mattress before getting up. He sat down in his gaming chair, crossing his legs on the seat.

Chris closed his eyes tightly, massaging his temples, trying to reduce the tension there. His eyes remained on Y/N's figure, caring for her sleep like a worried older brother, longing to have the power to erase the entire event from the girl's memory.

Matt would hear from him when he arrived.

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My asks are always open. Feel free to send requests or anything at all 🩷💋

And remember to treat people with kindness always!

~ taglist:

@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @worldlxvlys @earth2starkey @remussbitch @freshloveforthefit @il0vebeingdelulu @sturniolowhore @mimi-luvzyu @alorsxsturn @urfavgirllyyyyy @domizzzsstuff @sturnizd @hearts4chris @cupidzsq @dracoflaco @leah-loves-lilies @tylerthecreatorsrealwife @rootbeerworshiper @junnniiieee07 @iammattswife

(If you want to be added to the taglist, please comment here)

#x reader #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #fanfic #fanfiction #fic #imagine #oneshot #angst #fluff #no happy ending #matt sturniolo x yn #matt sturniolo fic #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew bernard sturniolo #matthew sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #matt x reader #matt au #matt fanfic #matt #matty #angry matt #sad reader #chris sturniolo x bff reader

[fake-sturniolos]

𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐏𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭'

SYNOPSIS: A girl who falls in love with her best friend but keeps it to herself, not wanting to ruin their friendship, until one night, in a surge of emotions, she lets it slip.

WARNING: none just fluff!!

word count: 544

ʜɪɪɪ ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴍʏ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ᴏɴᴇ-ꜱʜᴏᴛ ꜱᴏ ʙᴇ ɴɪᴄᴇ!

I've had feelings for my best friend Matt for a long time. It started as a little crush, but now every time I see him with a girl, I feel crushed.

Now here I am in his room, acting like I'm not wishing I was here as more than just a friend.

We are sitting on his bed, looking at the TV in front of us as 'The Notebook' played.

"I hope one day I find someone that I can be in love with like that," Matt spoke.

and just like that there's that feeling in my chest again.

“yea me too.”

The movie ended, and I looked over at Matt who was asleep. I sighed leaning my head against the headboard

"I wish I could be the girl you fall in love with," I said, looking at him still asleep.

"I love you, Matt. I love you so much it hurts. I wish it didn't bother me when you talked to other girls or talked to me about them." Tears welled in my eyes. I got up and walked out of his room, shutting the door softly so I wouldn't wake him.

I got in my car and couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face. So there I was sitting in his driveway crying like an idiot because I fell in love with my best friend. I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapped my arms around them, and put my head down.

I heard my car door open, and I looked up to see Matt get in the passenger seat.

i quickly wipe my tears “sorry I was just about to leave.”

he looked at me with a sad expression “whats wrong?”

i looked down at my hands “nothing.”

“Did I do something?” he asked

“No.”

“cause if I did something I'm sorry I didn’t-”

“No Matt you didn’t” i snapped

“Its my fault for being an idiot. I fell in love with my best friend that clearly doesn’t think of me in that way” I felt tears fall down my cheek.

Matt opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it, hesitating.

"I didn't want to ruin our friendship, but I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of acting like I'm not in love with you, Matt," I continued, my voice cracking

“i love you too.”

“what?” I looked up at him

“i’m in love with you too.”

Matt reached over and grabbed my hand

“Can I please kiss you?” Matt said gently

“yes”

His hand slipped behind my neck, and he kissed me.

I placed my hand on his cheek, leaning into the kiss. I feel his tongue slide over my bottom lip.

Oh. My. God.

A shiver ran down my spine, and I could feel my heart pounding.

He pulled away, looking me in the eyes, a smile present on his lips.

“We'll talk tomorrow, yeah?" Matt says.

I nod, still in shock. He smiles and hops out of the car. i watch as he walks back inside, the echo of his words lingering in the air. With a heavy sigh, I lean back against the seat, the weight of our interaction settling in my chest, tethering me to the uncertainty of what tomorrow may bring.

ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇᴅ ɪᴛ! ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ꜱʜᴏʀᴛ ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴇʟꜱᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴀᴅᴅ.

ʟᴏᴠᴇ, ʟᴀᴜɴᴀ

#matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo x reader #Spotify

[starluvsx]

★𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭

𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𖦹 𝐏!𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤

proofread:YUPPP

word count:1.4K

WARNINGS:swearing?thats rlly it

A/N:i wanna do more headannons and stuff like this.this was rlly cute and fun to write.also I look wish the baby project was like a thing at my school but we don't even got working lights in some of the bathrooms soooo.

nick

you guys turned to each other as soon as the teacher said you could choose parameters

y'all were so convinced you would be great at taking care of the kid

you were wrong

You guys didn’t know you were supposed to change the baby until one of your friends told you

the first night nick took the baby too his house and left it on the kitchen table for six hours

he didn't realize he left it there till his mom came home from work and heard crying

you left it in your backpack twice

people said you were starting to look like an actual mom because of how stressed you were over this robot baby

almost set the bay on fire then you guys were trying to make pancakes

"so then I told her I was like why the fuck would you-"you began before you realized neither of you had the baby.you looked around before seeing the babies head dangerously close to the fire coming from under the pan in the stove. "Nick oh my gosh!"you said as you shot up from your seat at the table, grabbing the plastic baby from the counter. “you almost killed her!"you dramatically said as you cradled the baby, touching it's now warm head lightly.you didn't let him touch the baby for the next 2 days.

"y/n I have to hold the baby eventually,I don't wanna fail."He tried to negotiate a few days later.

"only if you promise not to put my baby's head near an open flame again."you asked him to do while rocking the baby.

"bitch im not gonna burn your baby."he joked, making the two of you laugh.you then handed him the baby, still smiling at your best friend's stupid joke. as soon as the baby was in his arms though it began to cry and wail. "Actually you can have your baby back"he said before handing it back to you jokingly.his gesture made the both of you laugh even more.

you guys got a C+, partly because some of the babies' hair was a little burnt.

Matt

treated that baby as if it was real.

literally named it Issac

set timers for every time he had to feed it and change it

The baby had a built-in voice box to make him laugh so he loved to make it laugh and giggle.

wouldn't let the kid go

had to stay on the phone with you on the nights you kept the baby

like the whole night

there was one time where you forgot to feed the baby and he literally freaked out

on the last week of the project he realized he didn't wanna give the baby back

you were already done with it though

everyone at school said you guys were like actual parents by the end of it

you didn't even realize how attached he was to the baby until you walked in on him sleeping cuddled ups that the baby

your phone rang from inside your pocket.the gas station you worked at was empty at the moment so you didn't hesitate to answer it. "Matt" read the caller id, confusing you because he knew you were at work but you still picked it up nonetheless. "Hey baby."he said into the phone.

"hi matt, what’s up,i’m at working right now so I can't talk for long" you explained as you saw a car pull into the parking lot.the headlights standing out in the darkness

"Well i was just wondering if you wanted to come over after your shift, i got some snacks but nobody to share em with." he asked cheekily though the phone.the people from outside stepped into the gas stations mom and her daughter.you laughed at his slyness until faint baby cries in the background.

"Is that isaac?did you forget to feed him?''you asked worriedly through the phone.the mom and her daughter looked at you confused as your young face was talking, presumably, about her baby.

"No I just have to change him" he explained through the phone.shuffling could be heard from the other line before you could say anymore.matt letting out a dad like groan while getting up made you smile to yourself.

"ok yea i'll come over in a little, probably like 9:30, is that okay?"you asked through the

phone.he mumbled a small 'yea thats fine' before we said 'I love you's and 'goodbye's and hung up.the lady and her kid coming up to the register once I put my phone in my pocket.

later

I let myself into the house and was greeted with Mary Lou and Nick watching a movie in the living room. "Hey guys,"I said sweetly, smiling and waving at the pair. They greeted me the same way before I asked "is Matt in his room?"

"Mhm" Mary Lou hummed. I walked down the hall till I made it into his room.i knocked on the door before opening in slowly.i was met with matt sleeping soundly,plastic baby cuddled up to his chest.i giggled a little before taking out my phone to take a picture.

Once I snapped the picture I tapped him on the shoulder lightly to not scare him.he fluttered his eyes open and looked at me tiredly. "oh hey babe" he mumbled out while sitting up and looking around wearily. "Was I cuddling with the baby?" he asked,confused at the doll that was in his now unraveled arm.

"yea you were"I laughed out before moving the 'baby' and climbing into bed with him.

"I was wishing it was you"he said as he pulled closer to him.the little comment making me laugh lightly.

I turned my body to face him before asking "so where are the snacks?" which made him

reach over to his bedside table and grab some chips, candy and 2 sodas.

"right here"he said while smiling and kissing me on the cheek.

you guys got an a+ on the project and your teacher even said you would be “perfect parents one day"

Chris

he actually asked you to be his partner instead of it being the other way around

It was way more stressful than you guys thought it would be

First you guys lost the bottle for a whole day

Literally looked up and down to find it but you just actually could not.

Turns out Chris left it in his locker

He def posts pictures of him and the baby with captions and stuff saying “ me and @youruser babyyyy” and “I think she looks more like me but idk” on instagram and snap

Was actually a very good parent despite thinking he wouldn't be

Dropped the baby like twice though

He also bought like little clothes for the baby so she wasn’t just walking around nakedly

you were so confused when he brought them home

when he would play video games you would tease him and ask him to "not swear in front of the child"

both of you ended up very emotionally attached to the kid

was very committed to being an actual dad after the fact

you guys were tired.watching a movie in chris' bed after a long day at school wasn't the best idea for staying awake.but while you were very tapped into the movie, you could also simultaneously feel his eyes boring into you.you didn't know why but also didn't think much of it.he's always been a bit of a starer.

you decided to continue focusing on the movie until it was abruptly paused. "hey why'd you do that?"you questioned.looking over at the boy who had been looking at you most of the night.

"Wanna have a kid?"he asked.the question leaving you stunned and confused at the sudden idea.kids had always been a possibility in both of your minds but it never something that could manifest into a real physical thing.

"Right now, like at this age?"you asked him to clarify.

"well now, in a years, five years, i don't really care"chris answered

"definitely not now, maybe when we're older with a house, a steady paycheck and you know, a high school diploma."you attempted to explain.

"I can't wait that longggg."he whined

"Well I definitely can,"you sassed. "Now turn the movie back on, I wanna see how this ends."

"probably with them having a baby."he joked under his breath as he reached for the remote to do what you asked

"chris you've seen this movie before you know how it ends"

#sturniolo triplets #influencers #x reader #youtube #celebrity #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #fluff #cute #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #chris surniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolos

[dwntwn-strnlo]

HAND MAKING matt sturniolo

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓁𝓎, dwntwn-strnlo.

↳ 𝐀/𝐍. im back :) . . . is this me trauma dumping? idk yeah probably

↳ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. matthew sturniolo x harvard student!reader

↳ 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. to relax ones mind

↳ 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃? no!

↳ 𝐂𝐖! slight panic attack but not really, crying, failing school? happy ending, pet names ig idfk, profanity

"what are you doing?"

"im making your hands, darling!"

you felt like a crumbling mess. school has been pushing you to your brim, and you just left the building with the knowledge that you just failed two of your finals. you wanted to fall to the floor in front of your professors, and just cry. hoping that your desperate pleas for a stable future would be enough to let you retake the mind numbing tests over again.

how in the world could one study at the most prestigious university if they can't even ace a final? you worked your whole life for this school, practically threw away your childhood and lived with the gilmore mindset to get here. just to fail. just. to. fail.

stepping off the campus and reaching the city bus, it slowly started to set in. you felt nauseous. like you were being held upside down, feet in the air and your arms on the floor. but no. you were sitting in a bucket seat that matched some torn down 80's arcade floor. so, you held your bookbag close to you, closing your eyes. overcompensated with the feeling of dizziness and fatigue.

as much as you tried to tune it out, you couldn't get rid of the lingering smell of weed and coffee that permanently stained the crisp air that is of cambridge and boston.

---

nearing the inner city, you opened your eyes and picked up your phone. pressing it to your ear after hitting call.

the phone rang once before it was picked up on the other end and a gentle "hey," comes through. you could hear the smile in matt's voice; the one simple, sweet word rang in your brain. bouncing off the tissue walls before settling back to silence.

"im almost home," you mumbled. your voice was lower and raspy then you intended. the last thing you needed was for your boyfriend to grow worried. but that's exactly what you knew would happen.

you could hear him suck in a breath on the other end of the phone, "is something wrong? why are you coming home early, baby?"

"i uh- i finished my final early." your voice was still tiny in comparison to the chatter that danced over the bus.

he hums, not wanting to necessarily drop the conversation, but he knew that you would be more open about it face to face. and not on a public transport bus that has heard and spilled countless secrets.

"i'm almost home," you uttered. hanging up the phone call before matt could ask more questions.

you sat silent the rest of the ride, bouncing your leg until it grew numb.

---

walking in the door, tears brisked at your eyes. you could finally let your walls down now that you were in a safe environment. you called out your boyfriends name as you walked up the stairs. the sound of ruffling and a door opening echoes through the house.

"hey, baby," he gently smiled, his attempt to comfort you immediately works. just his presence makes you giddy, your heart starting to race.

you didn't want to load your troubles onto him, but you could no longer fight the stray tears that glide down your cheeks.

dropping your bag on the floor, you close your eyes. attempting to stop your tears from flowing, but it doesn't work.

it doesnt take long for you to be embraced by matt. his arms snaking around your waist as you held yourself against his chest. sobbing quietly into his grey cotton shirt. "i fucked it all up, matt..." you cried. holding onto him tighter then you thought possible.

matt soothingly rubs his hands up and down your back, pressing a soft kiss atop your head. "c'mon," he whispers softly, "come talk to me." he carefully pulls you over to the couch, and you open your eyes but sit down without glancing at his face.

"i failed my finals," you sobbed, squeezing your eyes tight. tears streamed down your face, you felt like a total mess.

"aww baby..." he cooed. the frown in his voice ultimately made you feel worse. he took your hands in his, gently rubbing his thumb across the back of your palms. "i'm sorry."

you couldn't help but stay silent. even if you tried you didn't think you could speak again.

matt started massaging at your hands, and you perked up. he played at each knuckle and each indent, each scar and each freckle.

"what are you doing..?" you whispered, looking up to meet his swirling eyes.

he smiled softly, "i'm making your hands darling!" he giggled, trying to cheer you up.

you felt like clay under his touch, like he was molding you perfectly to fit with him. he held your hand close to him as he soothingly caressed your skin.

you felt like his sculpture in the back of an art studio, the lights blinding as it's a late night and school ended hours ago. your artistic sculpture was due days previous, but matt wouldn't settle for anything else other than perfection. taking his time to make you a work of art.

you felt like sand at the beach, matt's hands as the water as they came with the tide, and gently washed at the tiny beaded rocks that were your knuckles and scars.

you felt like-

"are you alright?" he asked sweetly, bringing your knuckles up to his lips as he pressed a kiss onto your skin.

until he spoke you didn't even realize that your tears had dried, and you were more focused on his touch than anything. school pushed to the back of your head, becoming the least of your worries in this very moment.

you slowly nodded, a small smile peaking over to meet his.

TAGLIST

@thetriplets3 @stxrniqlo @ifilwtmfc @iha8you @oneirophobic @20nugs @gracietaylorsversions @fenoy7 @mlimmm @prettysturniolo @ssturniolo @gabbylovesreading @oh-toseewithoutmy-eyes @matthewmurdockswife @jellybeanbby @slaysturniolo @iheartshifting @mxqdii @luvsturniolo @lvrsparadise @partoftoofuckinmanyfandoms @sstvrnioloo

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo fluff #matthew sturniolo x you #matthew sturniolo x reader

[k4tixzz]

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧ Promise? - Chris Sturniolo | Pt.1

Summary: You and Chris get into an argument, and try to take a break from each other but it doesn't go so well.

Warning(s): Swearing, Fighting, yelling, crying, self harm, fluff, smut (kinda), Kinda toxic, overthinking, Cheating??, POV switching,

Word Count: 1776 (I think) - NOT proof read! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

text: you text: chris text: matt text: nick text: Friends / random

* = mind ** = POV ' = quoting " = talking

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**Y/N POV**

"Chris I believe you, I do. But I just don't know what to do, I have people coming to me left and right that they saw you with another girl."

"Y/N I swear, we never did anything other than just start conversation. It never turned into anything, I swear Y/N!"

You felt your heart pounding, it felt as if it was tearing apart. You hated arguing with Chris, yet it happened so often. You could feel your throat starting to feel heavy and your eyes starting to form tears, knowing what you felt like needed to happen. it felt like the silence was going to last forever until Chris finally spoke again;

"Y/N please, just trust me."

That sentence by itself made you feel as if you wanted to fall to the floor crying, but you couldn't. All just because you wanted to prove some stupid point.

"Chris, I'm sorry. I do trust you, but how things have gone recently I- ..."

You saw the look on Chris' face, as if he would break down crying at any moment. You sigh trying to swallow your anxiety, following with the worst sentence you could imagine in this moment.

"I think it would be best if we just took a break.." You blurt out, then looking away. Almost 5 seconds, Chris breaks the silence;

"Y/N? seriously, I swear I never did anything. Please Y/N, don't do this, please?" His voice starts to break as he finishes his sentence, hearing this makes your throat tighten and your eyes start to water.

"I'm sorry, I just think it would be best? Y'know? Were almost always arguing, were losing trust in each other, were so dependent on each other. I just think it would be best, I'm sorry Chris." You stuttered out trying your best not to cry.

Chris opens his mouth but closes it, speechless. He walks over to his bed and sits down, sighs and looks back at you. You were so busy collecting your things you never realized he started crying into his palms. You looked at him while zipping up your bag to see him wiping under his eyes with the back of his hoodie sleeve. You debate whether or not to say anything, when Chris gets up and walks towards his door then breaks the awkward silence.

"Well, uhm-" He swallows "bye Y/N" He says while opening his door as he does that upset fake smile as he watches you walk out.

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**Y/N POV**

As you make your way to your front door you grab your keys, and open the door. After closing the door and locking it, you set your things down and head to your room. You sit down and just stare, and think; 'Why did I do that, I don't want this, I'm so stupid'. You find yourself already tearing up. Eventually you try to calm yourself down; 'It's okay Y/N, You're okay'. Next thing you know you're having a panic attack, and no one's there to help calm you down. Most of the time you had Chris there to help you but now, there's no one.

The annoying thing is that this was all your fault. You regretted it so much, you just wanted to rewind and undo this mess. You missed him, you never meant anything that was said in the argument. But yet he just took it, and never even tried to argue. Which just makes it worse because if he didn't try then maybe he doesn't truly love me, or maybe you were just being too much for him. You don't even know, all you know is that you wish you could just go back and apologize.

Two days after starting the break you couldn't stop thinking about everything, about him. he was on you're mind 24/7, never leaving. At this point you had already formed eye bags, and your eyes were always bloodshot.

About three days in you even tried to go out with friends, at the party you met a guy;

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**Y/N POV*

"Hey! Get in!"

You hear your friend yelling to you from her car. The entire way to the party you two talked about what's going on between you and Chris, it felt so nice to be able to vent to someone but at the same time you knew that she was the type of person to move on to the next almost a week after. That wasn't you, especially with someone as special as Chris.

Once you two walked into the party there were a few people you knew, but a very familiar face in the crowd. Chris. You tried distracting yourself by having a drink with your friend, it pretty much worked. You're friend mentioned a guy, Jeremy? She was trying to persuade you to try and give him a shot, maybe help yourself get over Chris. Next thing you know Jeremy's walking up to you asking if you wanted to dance, you reply with a nervous "sure!".

When you two start dancing, he wraps his arms around your upper waist. You wrap your arms around his neck, connecting your fingers behind his head. You two make eye contact for about 10 seconds before you start blushing and look away. You feel something between you two, but it's just not Chris. During the moment of you two dancing he starts talking, bringing your attention back to him from Chris. "Sooo" He says dragging out the 'o', "How are you?" He asks after noticing you were 'zoning out'

"I'm good, how about you?" you say not even thinking about what he had actually just asked, just going back to thinking about Chris.

"I'm fine, just thinking about how pretty you are." He said with a slight smirk on his face.

*WOAH. I was not expecting that, not that fast. Hold on.. Is he being for real right now? Nuh Uh. Wait... WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT*

"Oh really, is that so?" you stutter out with a flirty tone, somehow..

"Mhmm" He lets out with a nervous smile and his cheeks starting to burn a light pink, looking down at you with confidence.

You snap out of the moment, again... To notice Chris. Chris has been staring at you, this ENTIRE TIME. You end up making eye contact but almost immediately break it, returning back to Jeremy.

"Y/N, You still listening?" He chuckles, still looking down at you waiting for a response.

"Huh? Oh shit, I'm sorry." You blurt out not even realizing you're still dancing with some random dude, but only thinking about Chris. Turns out those damn drinks didn't work too well..

"It's alright, beautiful." He said with a polite smile, you felt butterfly's at the same time feeling sick to your stomach. The two didn't mix to well.

"Uhm, can you excuse me? I'll be right back." You say looking back at his green eyes, as you tap his bicep. He nods back at you, you let out a sigh of relief and bolt towards the back door. you immediately shut the door behind you and sit down, sliding down the brick wall.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Authors POV**

Chris spent the first three days just laying in bed, thinking, sleeping, crying, and watching his phone. He hadn't been participating in any of the car videos, He hadn't even spoken a single word to anyone since our argument.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chris' POV**

You wake up to banging on your door, again. You groan, knowing they wont stop until you finally respond.

"What do you want!"

"Just open the door! please Chris!"

You finally get up, and walk over to your door. unlock it and open it.

"what do you want." You say in annoyed tone.

"Chris your alive!" Nick says trying to make you laugh, then you notice matt bump nick's shoulder.

"Chris, whats going on? Why haven't you been doing anything?"

"bed rotting" nick coughs and hides back a laugh

"Nick stop!"

Just standing here listening to them makes you zone out, once again finding yourself thinking. Thinking about her, and how he could've avoided this, or even fixed it.

"Chris? You still listening?" Nick says as he places his hand on your shoulder. Suddenly, your back in the moment.

"hmm? sorry." You say while biting your lip still trying to focus on nick and matt,

"Chris. What happened?" matt asked with concern, "Ever since I heard you and Y/N yelling you've just been in you're room ignoring everyone."

"I uh, I kinda.." Your throat is already starting to tense up, you feel like a deer staring at the blinding headlights of a car.

"I fucked up. I fucked up really b-bad" Your voice starts to crack, your lip starts to quiver. And finally a tear falls down your cheek, resulting in nick and matt both hugging you. You just stary crying into their shoulders, "I didn't even try to prevent it" You somehow stuttered out. Now matt's shushing you to try and calm you down, Nick releases from the hug to look at you. He puts his hands on your shoulders and says, "Chris, It's okay." And then pulls you in for another hug.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Author's POV**

Nick, Matt, and Chris all agree on trying to take Chris to a party. Which ended up being the same one as Y/N, none of them knew.. yet. When they all walked in it was fine, nothing was noticeably out of the ordinary for a party. until, matt and nick went off to grab drinks. Chris was just standing against the wall, waiting for matt and nick to return. Then Chris saw Y/N, he just stared. She was sitting with her friend, he never was able to remember her name. He just kept staring, thinking of all the things that he could do. Then matt and nick walked back over and handed Chris his drink.

Chris mindlessly just kept staring, eventually nick and matt figured out what he was staring at. When suddenly, A tall young-ish, black haired, boy walked up to her.

*what the hell? Who is he? she's already moved on? I thought we were only taking a break? no, no, no, I-*

His thoughts are cut off by matt and nick talking to a random guy who started talking to them as if he knew them. Chris greeted the him, then went back to observing everything they were doing. All their movements, all their words, how close they got, how they were interacting. When he noticed her look back his way, he just kept staring though. Then he noticed her get nervous, and rush towards the back door. Chris decides to follow...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author note(s); I hope this is good enough, and fits everyone's standards. I'm still working on pt.2, also pls be aware that I'm only 14 so it might not go into 'too much' detail but I'll try my best!

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #K4tixzz #pt.1

[murdock-barnes]

One More Time Part 2

Part 1

Matt Murdock x Enhanced!Fem!Reader

Summary: Reader has telepathic powers that can make Matt see. Matt sees the reader, himself, Foggy, and Karen for the first time.

Warnings: None. Fluff

Word Count: 1,8K

A/N: Ahhhh I really didn't expect my little story to get so much attention. Thank you for your support😍 I am SO SORRY that I kept you waiting for so long but finally, here it is. Also, I cried a lot while I was writing this. I hope you enjoy it❤️❤️

You put your head on the soft pillow ready to sleep and Matt just closed his eyes lying beside you. You watched his beautiful face. He always called you his angel but he was an angel himself; with his beauty, with his heart. You reached and cupped his cheek as he opened his eyes with an 'Mhm?'. You laughed at his sleepy expression. Your heartbeat faltered when an idea sparked in your head. Matt, of course, noticed it. He shook off his sleepiness and asked "What is it, sweetheart?"

You hastily got up and jumped off the bed. You were on Matt's side now. He was confused when you grabbed his hands and pulled him off of the bed. He laughed "Baby, just tell me what are we doing. I can hear that you're excited but can't read your mind."

"Just wait!" you said as you dragged him in front of the full-length mirror in the corner of the bedroom. On the way, you turned the lights on. When you two ended up in front of the mirror, you pushed his shoulders down silently telling him to sit down. He obeyed and you sat beside him. You grabbed his face with both hands and planted a kiss on his lips.

"You're so beautiful Matty. I want you to see it," you whispered to his lips. "Do you want to?"

He was quiet for a moment but then said "Yes, show me please!"

You smiled contently and closed your eyes. You focused on the feeling of his face between your hands, his smell, his presence. Your bond was getting stronger every time you use it so this time it was easier for you to reach that bond and connect your minds. You felt your mind being locked with his.

"Matt, I'm gonna open my eyes. Are you ready to see yourself?" you softly asked.

He nodded "Yes, ready." You heard the excitement, wonder, and hesitation in his voice. Then, you slowly opened your eyes. It caught Matt by surprise again. First, lights filled his vision and colors. When he saw himself for the first time, he didn't know what to do or what to say. Was this really him? He took in his features and gave you a small smile.

"I kinda look like my father," he said. You smiled with teary eyes. Matt was stunned. Seeing his father in his own features wrenched his heart. There were times he tried to remember him but he was so young when he last saw him. He sometimes saw him in his dreams but the memory of his face wasn't clear. However, now he could see that he resembled him not only with the devil inside him but also with his features. He didn't even realize he was crying until you wiped away his tears.

"I'm so old." he chuckled. You laughed with him. You stroked the wrinkles that form around his eyes when he laughs. "I love these so much. It gives me so much joy to see you smile," you said. He gave you a soft and shy smile.

He reached and grabbed your hands, holding them in his. "Please, show me yourself?" he said softly.

"Only if you promise you won't run away when you see how ugly I am." you joked. He laughed and nodded.

You slowly turned to face the mirror. Your reflection smiled back at you. Well, there were definitely days you looked better but you wanted him to see you truly; without any makeup, without your hair done, or without flattering clothes. Your hair was in a ponytail and you were wearing the most comfortable but not so good looking clothes to bed. Matt was quiet... too quiet. Maybe he really didn't like what he see? Maybe he thinks you're really ugly like just joked about?

"You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he took in a deep breath. He reached and stroked your cheek. "So pretty," he whispered. You could clearly see in his eyes that he was truly in awe of your beauty. You couldn't help but cry and Matt wiped your tears away. He said "Even prettier when you cry" and leaned in to plant a kiss on your tears. He smiled upon the taste of your salty tears.

"You told me the color of your eyes and hair but I always wanted to see them myself." He watched his hand as he twirled your hair. "You know I think I should be glad that I can't see your eyes. Since every time you look at me, you'd bring me to my knees."

Your heart melted and exploded at the same time. He was truly the sweetest man ever. You giggled and leaned into his embrace.

"Look at us, Matty. We look so good together," you said. You two really suited each other, making a good-looking couple.

He took in the view. He watched himself and you. "We're perfect for each other, sweetheart" He planted a kiss on the top of your head.

For the rest of the night, you two stayed in front of the mirror as Matt wanted to explore every single detail of your body. He examined your hair and brows closely. He watched your eyes and eyelashes. He counted your freckles.

It was really late when you went to bed. Just before you fell asleep, Matt said "Can you come by the office tomorrow? I would very much like it if you can show me Foggy and Karen."

You smiled and cuddled him tighter "Of course, honey. Anything for you."

-------------------------------------------------------

The next day, you picked four coffees and some donuts, making your way to Nelson, Murdock, and Page.

Foggy greeted you with a big cheer. "Hey! It's so nice to see you!"

As you tried to place the coffees and donuts down on the table, Foggy gave you a tight side hug. You laughed "I think you missed me Foggy, huh?"

"Well, I like that you always bring some goodies when you come here," he said.

"I can't believe you," you laughed. Karen came around and hugged you. "Don't listen to him!" she said. "I'm glad to see you."

Karen stayed beside you locking her arm on yours. You spotted Matt leaning on his office door. He had a smirk on his face.

"So what brought you here today?" Foggy said as he stuffed a donut in his mouth.

"What? I can't visit my boyfriend's workplace?" you said in a serious tone.

Foggy halted and looked at you "Well... I mean, yes.... of course, you can."

"Sweetheart," Matt said with a slight warning in his voice. You laughed "I'm kidding Foggy. Matt asked me to come."

Karen laughed and Foggy turned to face Matt.

"Yes, there is something we want to talk about with you guys. Come in here." He walked back into his office. Foggy and Karen gave you questioning looks but you just shrugged as you entered his office.

Karen and Foggy sat down. You sat next to Matt and they were across from you.

"Guys, what is going on?" Karen said.

Foggy intervened as you were about to answer. "Wait! Are you pregnant?" he got up and exclaimed. "Oh, I'm gonna be an uncle. I'll be the best uncle Hell's Kitchen has ever seen!"

Matt shushed him "Foggy! She's not pregnant." Your laugh filled the silence. Foggy stopped and sat back down "Oh... okay then."

"So what is it?" Karen asked.

You smiled contently "You are aware of my... abilities." They both nodded. "Well, I figured a way for Matt to see again."

"You... what? How?" Foggy was stunned.

Matt chuckled beside you and held your hand firmly under the table. "She reflects her vision to me so I see through her eyes."

Both Karen and Foggy were surprised, looking at you their mouths agape. You smiled "The first thing he wanted after shaking off the shock was to ask me to show him, you guys."

Foggy's eyes gleamed with deep affection and Karen looked joyous.

"So what do we have to do? Let's do this!" Foggy said.

You chuckled "You don't need to do anything. Just hold on for a minute."

You leaned back in your chair to settle into a more comfortable position. Your hold on Matt's hand was strong as you steadied your breaths. You sensed Matt doing the same thing. The bond was very prominent now. It required little effort to reach and connect. Your mind grasped his. You gave out a long breath once your minds were connected.

Matt felt like he was about to die of excitement as you slowly opened your eyes. The first thing Matt saw was Foggy's smiling face. His face was bright and filled with hope and expectation.

"Foggy?" Matt whispered. A warmth spread over his chest upon seeing his best friend for the first time. Matt always thought Foggy felt like sunshine. Now, he knew it sure as hell that he looked like that as well. His pure heart was clear on his face. His eyes looked kind and loving. His cheeks were flushed with excitement. His smile filled Matt with love. A laugh left his lips.

"Can you really see me?" Foggy said, his voice cracked showing his emotions.

"Well, you're even more handsome than I imagined, brother," Matt said.

Foggy got up laughing and lunged himself at Matt, hugging him tightly. They were both crying now. The scene caused you and Karen to tear up as well. Their embrace lasted long and then, Foggy finally pulled back and sat down again. He wiped away his tears, still laughing.

Your gaze turned to Karen. Matt explored her appearance. She definitely looked younger than her age. Her sweet smile and her teary eyes which filled with affection made Matt's heart swell.

"Well, Karen you are as beautiful as Foggy said," he said smiling and Karen chuckled shyly. She reached and gripped his hand assuringly.

"I didn't know you two had the same hair," Matt said cheekily.

"Hey!" Karen objected. Foggy playfully frowned at Matt.

"What? Don't blame me! You really need a haircut, Foggy."

"Matthew Murdock sees for a couple of minutes and then immediately starts judging our apperances. Would you look at that?" Foggy muttered.

You laughed at his response and then, turned to Matt "Go sit by their side baby so you can see all of you together. Okay?"

Matt got up and moved his chair, sitting between Foggy and Karen now. Foggy put his arm over Matt's shoulder. Karen gripped Matt's arm and smiled. You watched them silently. Matt was speechless upon this view. His friends were by his side. He now knew that they all looked like accomplished grown-ups. He felt proud of the man he become. Knowing that these talented, amazing people were his friends who care about him so much almost made him break. He held it together though.

"Honestly, I wouldn't want to be against us at the court. Look at us! We look so powerful together." Matt said with a smug smile.

Karen and Foggy laughed in unison. "Damn right!" Foggy said, patting Matt's back.

Matt watched them all laugh together. He felt their love for him and he felt belonged. This right here was his family. His girlfriend, his friends... This was home.

#matt murdock fluff #matt murdock x reader #marvel imagine #matt murdock fanfiction #daredevil x reader #daredevil fanfiction #matt murdock #daredevil

[elgrandeavocados]

hiii! I’m a new follower and wanted to show some appreciation for dissolution, it’s such an amazing fic and your writing is truly some of the most beautiful I’ve read! 👏👏

I really feel for el and I love/hate how we only ever understand how matt’s feeling when he actually says it out loud cause it’s realistic but man the miscommunication is so painful haha 💔

just out of curiosity when you were coming up with the idea for it or at any point in your writing did you ever think about writing from matt’s pov? or if you had to choose one chapter or event to write from his pov which one would it be?

hiiii! thank you for the kind words. so glad to have you aboard the 'dissolution' train. 💗

ok, so i looooooooooove this question! (i'm gonna put a break here to keep reading because this is going to be a looong response!)

So, since the beginning, when I came up with this story, I planned for it to be told from El's perspective. I knew that I wanted her to be the protagonist in this story.

I love that you brought up Matt''s POV because that was something I didn't necessarily think about until like, maybe, three or four chapters ago. Throughout the story, I've dropped small hints/windows into his thoughts. They're quick moments, sometimes a line of dialogue, but I think they give you a hint as to what he is/might be thinking.

Here's one from part 9:

He was still quiet. Why was he still quiet?  Crossing my legs, I nervously scratched my jaw. I couldn’t take the silence. “You’re quiet,” I pointed out. Matt blinked. “Sorry.” “If you don’t want to go, we don’t have to,” I repeated. “I can just tell her that we already had plans.” He got quiet again. It was killing me. What was he thinking?  “Matt,” I said. “Hm?” I gave him a funny look. “You okay?” Clearing his throat, he nodded. “Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking.” “About what?” “It’s… It’s nothing, don’t worry,” Matt shook his head and smiled softly. “Let’s go to the party.”

Then there's this one from part 8:

My eyes closed, and my vision faded to black as I felt that tension in my belly shatter. That same strangled, hoarse cry I had sounded slipped out of my mouth again as my jaw slackened. Seconds after me, against my lips, Matt cried a similar noise as his hips drove forward fast, then froze.

And this one from part 12:

Against my neck, he mumbled something; it was short but hard to make out. Then again, I just had an out-of-body experience, and it was impossible to piece anything together. Everything was fuzzy. For crying out loud, the sink was still on. All I could do was hum, continue to run my fingers through his hair, try to catch my breath, and remind myself to ask him later what he had mumbled into my neck. 

These are just a few examples, but what I will say is that the ones from parts 8 and 12 will come back around and be referenced, and they'll be referenced soon in a future chapter.

But, for now, regarding Matt's POV, if my outline/notes serve me right, that will be happening soon. We will get an entire chapter(s?) in his POV, and I can't wait to share it with you! 💗

#anon ask #send me all the questions you have about dissolution #matt murdock x ofc #daredevil x ofc #matt murdock fanfic #daredevil fanfic

[familyvideowithsteve]

With time, and with help - Matt Murdock x fem!reader

This material may not be copied, reproduced, displayed, modified. This is my work, do not steal it, do not republish it.

summary: it's pouring rain, the day has been hard, Matt's arms bring the warmth and hope she desperately (deadly) needs

warnings: use of she/her pronouns, no physical description, depression, explicit self degrading thoughts, mental breakdown, crying, matt kind of addressing he needs help after s3, comfort

word count: 1.4k

prompts: “anonymous asked : 'i can't do this' with matt murdock”

a/n: I'll be pretty straightforward, do not take the warnings lightly, please don't read if you're sensitive yourself; please, if you have the opportunity, reach out to a professional.

edit: the comfort written in this piece will not match people's expectations because traditionally, the answer dismisses the problems ("no, of course you're not this, that, blah blah"). I chose not to write that because it's harmful in every way possible. Instead I chose what works on me, presence, light talks that doesn't dismiss the problems, but does bring a small smile through the tears, warmth. I would much rather have that than someone trying to say the opposite than what depression tells me.

Matt had picked on her heartbeat later than usual, the rain was hitting harder on the concrete, masking most of the sounds.

Once she had opened the main door of the building leading to his apartment. Her heartbeat was steady, but it thumped faster in her ribcage as she stood in front of his front door.

He heard the step back she took in hesitance. The heavy sigh leaving her lips, followed by a goosebump, he sensed how she tightened her fingers' grip on her sweater.

He walked from his living room to the front door, waited a few seconds to await the knocks but they never came.

He opened the door, she had retreated towards the stairs but she halted as she heard the movement, she turned around.

She exhaled a shaky breath, he felt the cold rain on her, her hands tightened once again, he didn't know if it was because she was cold, soaked, or something else.. there was something he couldn't decipher.

His head tilted to the side, his eyes lost on the ground, he murmured her name in a breath.

“Matt.. Hey,” she whispered back, stepping up on the floor.

“Everything okay?”

He heard the heartbeat become unsteady, erratic, the way her breath kept shaking urged him to act but he didn't know what to do.

“Uh..," she took a long pause, staying in the reflection of the light outside, quietness surrounded them.

She debated internally whether on lying or not, except there was no point in lying, Matt would hear it.

“No…– I..– I can't trust myself to be alone tonight..” she spoke so low, her voice almost broke but she knew he could hear her, she closed her eyes and silently regretted it.

His eyebrows widened for a quarter of a second, he stepped closer to her and gave her his hand for her to take, “Come inside.”

She looked at the hand, then at this face, his features so calm, not alarming at all, he radiated calmness.

She took the hand, and instantly he intertwined their fingers together.

He waited for her to start walking towards him and followed her inside his apartment, “Would you like me to run a bath? Or the shower?”

“The shower sounds good, thank you.”

He kissed the knuckles of their intertwined hands before he detached himself from her towards his bathroom, and she was alone in the dark living room.

The pink reflection of the billboard only lit the room, the only sound was the pouring rain hitting on the roof, until she heard the showerhead.

Remaining alone, standing in the darkness, brought back some intrusive thoughts she had; and soon it circled through her head.

Unwanted, unlovable, undesirable, unworthy, alone, always so lonely, masked as independence.

Solitude was her oldest friend, her worst enemy.

Always saying she felt better alone than in bad company, but it was a lie.

She had been alone all her life, from her childhood to her adulthood, bad at receiving love, compliments, and when she loved, it was too much, too fast, always ending up alone.

Her brain was a complete mess, of absolutely everything.

From trying to be more approachable even if she had a thousand walls surrounding her.

Trying to do better, be better.

All ending in doubts, failures, jealousy, anger, hatred, of herself mostly.

And as time went on, it got harder to fight back the tempting thoughts whispering in her ear to join the abyss.

Each time was so difficult to come back from it.

Not to mention mental health issues have always been seen as taboo, never taking anyone seriously.

Express your suicidal thoughts and congratulations you are weak. You're not trying hard enough.

And that works for literally any form of psychological issues.

Society adores hypocrisy. People love hypocrisy.

She felt the weight on her chest tighten on her, while she stared at the emptiness in front of her, it was Matt's hand on her shoulder that made her jump out of her train of thoughts.

He didn't say anything, but he took her hand and led her to the bathroom. He kept the door open and helped her undress, tossing the clothes in his laundry basket.

Soft hands helped her walk under the showerhead, his palm providing a strong hold, he never let her go, always kept his touch on her arm as he entered the shower too.

He stood by her side, his two hands on each side of her body, tightly held in her hands. He tilted their position so her head hit the showerhead and he received droplets of hot water.

He felt her body shake slightly then in waves, he realised she was crying, sobbing, by the saline smell hitting his senses.

He didn't waste any time to make them sit down on the shower tile, he circled her body with his arms, his chin sitting on her shoulder.

He held her tightly and she intertwined their fingers so tightly she was hurting her knuckles, he let her know he was there with his touch, his arms so tightly pulled around her waist.

He heard her mumble softly ,“I can't do this anymore.”

And it completely broke his heart. Shattered in a million pieces.

He let her sob her breakdown down the drain. Her body vibrating, ugly cries and whines leaving her lips.

He closed his eyes, let her body rhythm through his, his lips sat lazily on her collarbone.

He felt her body calm down after some time, he gave her all the time she needed, her breathing had steadied, her heartbeat had a much more stable rhythm.

Hair shampooed, and their bodies cleaned they stepped out of the shower, they enveloped their bodies in towels and walked to Matt's bedroom without a sound.

Fully dressed in sweats and sweaters, they lied down on the sofa, Matt on his back, Y/n on her side, her arm tightly attached to his waist.

She didn't want to let him go away, he was the only meaningful thing in her life.

His hand softly started to trace patterns on her forearm that circled his waist.

“I want you to feel comfortable enough to share with me how you feel. The very good, the very bad, everything. We've probably never been vocal on it but I care about you, I..– I love you. Months of feeling it and I can't believe I didn't tell you.”

“It's not your fault. You're not– It's not that. The intrusive thoughts are directed towards me, my worth, my failures. How I feel useless, unworthy, unlovable, undesirable and so profoundly alone..,” she paused, sat down on the sofa, absentmindedly she started fidgeting her fingers with the hem of the sweatshirt.

Matt used his elbows to face her better, his head tilting towards her, he knew she wasn't finished so he patiently waited, sitting up, his hand found her's and she found the strength to keep going.

“I've always felt this deep loneliness, and no matter what I do, it stays. The intrusive thoughts are overwhelming, depression is never tender, you know that better than anybody. And when it's too much, when it all adds up, like tonight.. I can't stay alone."

"We've been in an unofficial relationship for months now, and the time with you has been.. absolutely perfect. But I'm always afraid that I will love you too much, or not enough, and that I will ruin what we have, because it always ends up in ruins.”

Matt exhaled, he let his hands wander to find her face and delicately caress her cheeks, softly he leaned his forehead against her's.

“We're such a messy couple," he whispered, and tenderly pecked her nose, “Listen, I don't know how to help you, Hell, I should ask for help too after what happened with the Hand and Fisk, but, I'm not going anywhere. We're very much stuck with each other. I'm not abandoning you, us. We'll solve this, with time, and with help.”

His fingers lingering on her forearms he managed to bring her back to their position on the sofa, her leg over his, her arm circling his waist tightly.

His hands were also wrapped around her, keeping her close to him. “Maybe we could move in together? I would be around to help you on your hard days, snuggling, letting you bone-crush me with your snuggles.”

Teary eyed, she nodded slowly, she wasn't ready to say it yet, but he knew she reciprocated the feelings, “You should probably ask me to be your girlfriend, first.”

“I was including that in the moving-in part,” he smiled as he pecked her forehead, soft, plump lips kissing her lips as he tilted her head towards him with her chin.

They had kissed millions of times before, but it was the first time he kissed her like, slow, tender, delicate, full of meaning, and a promise.

Never stop loving her. No matter what.

#matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x y/n #matt murdock fic #daredevil #daredevil x reader #matt murdock fem!reader #daredevil x fem!reader #daredevil x y/n #daredevil fic #matthew murdock #matthew murdock x fem!reader #matthew murdock x y/n #matthew murdock x reader

[zepskies]

Damned If I Do

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Lisa Braeden

Look, I know how some people feel about Lisa lol. But I always thought she and Dean should've been endgame. She held him down when he couldn't do it himself, and he loved her and Ben so much. They all deserved more.

Summary: Lisa's thoughts as she fights for her life, and for her son, and this time for Dean. Word Count: 4,500 Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff and feels

Damned If I Do

Lisa fought every damn inch she was dragged out of the splintered front door of her home.

She dug her heels into the cracks of the driveway and screamed until her throat ached, even with the large and sweaty hand clamped over her mouth.

It was broad daylight on a Sunday, yet none of the neighbors even came out of their houses to see Lisa and Ben Braeden being shoved into the backseat of a black sedan.

She held Ben to her like a lifeline and forced herself to breathe slowly. In through her nose and silently out through her mouth. Craning her head to glance through the back window, her wide brown eyes watched their house grow smaller and smaller until she had to swallow a lump of hysteria.

The image of her boyfriend of three weeks lying entirely still on her living room floor replayed over and over behind her eyes, his neck twisted into an impossible angle and blood dripping from his mouth.

Matt. They'd killed Matt. And they'd taken her and her son. They were probably going to kill her and Ben too.

"Mom," Ben whispered.

Lisa had never asked for this. All she'd ever wanted after Ben was born was a quiet life. A quiet and happy life that didn't include monsters and black sedans with leather seats that smelled like sulfur.

"Mom," Ben said more insistently. Lisa's attention snapped to her son, who was surprisingly calm, if still scared.

"It's gonna be okay," he promised. "I called Dean."

She couldn't help the rush of anger as well as relief that simultaneously coursed through her. Finally, after two months of fighting with herself and with Ben, after agonizing over that phone call for days (and the nights afterward, wide awake and crying), Lisa finally felt justified in her decision. 

This was the reason they had never worked, and this was the reason she would take Ben and move them as far as she could get from anyone named Winchester when this was over.

If it's ever over, was what a voice in her mind whispered. She felt the hysteria coming back up like acid reflux and tears stinging her eyes, so she smothered it by pulling Ben into her arms again and kissing the top of his head.

No. She would not be weak. This would end, and it would be over her dead body if they didn't get their freedom back.

And she didn't care if her thoughts weren't making sense anymore either.

They drove for two hours. Lisa observed the man in the driver's seat and the man in the passenger seat, staring idly out the window. The driver was large and bald, while his partner was slightly taller with short dark hair, wearing a Pink Floyd shirt.

She knew they were monsters. She just inherently knew, just like she knew Dean had something to do with it. Because nothing this awful had ever happened to her without having to do with monsters. What kind of monsters, she had no idea.

They were strong enough to break down the door and looked like normal men, and that's about all she knew for certain. There was a darkness in their eyes that made her inwardly shiver, a wrongness to them. What she kept coming back to was the smell filling the entire car—musty and bitter. It reminded her of something Dean told her once.

Dean handed her a small vile of yellow powder. Lisa held it up to her face so she could view the grainy, yellow bits of powder inside. Though that proved to be a mistake as even with the lid closed, she caught a whiff of its contents and coughed, immediately holding it away.

She'd taken chemistry. She knew what sulfur was, just had never seen it before.

"Terrible, right?" he asked, smiling slightly.

"Ugh, here." She plugged her nose and handed the vile back to him. His expression turned serious, the way it did when he was showing her how to use a gun.

"If you ever smell that, you need to call me right away, all right?" His green eyes bore into hers with a gravity she'd seen only few times before. "And you don't stick around either. You run."

"What does sulfur mean?" she asked.

Demons. They were demons.

Lisa didn't realize she was holding her breath until her head began to pound with the strain. What did she know about demons? Dean had taught her precious little, but she knew one of their weaknesses was salt.

She didn't exactly have the contents of her pantry just lying around in her pockets, and she couldn't very well ask Ben if he had any—not with their captors so close. She would have to wait until they finally got wherever they were going. Speaking of which...

"Where are you taking us?" she demanded, fully aware that she should probably not be demanding anything. The driver's gaze flicked up at the reflection of her face in the rearview mirror.

Lisa inhaled sharply. Her grip on Ben's shoulder tightened as she looked into the man's black eyes, not a speck of white or iris in them. She heard Ben's small gasp.

"Just relax," the driver (demon) drawled. "We're almost there."

Lisa didn't know how the hell Dean was going to find them here. They were somewhere near Rochester, Minnesota (she'd paid close attention to the highway signs), pulling up into some abandoned factory on the side of the road.

The sun was beginning to set, and while being pulled out of the sedan, she had the thought that this might be the last glimpse of sunlight she would get for a while.

"Come on, sweetheart," Pink Floyd grabbed her roughly by the shoulders. "We've got a schedule to keep."

Only one man in her life had ever called her sweetheart.

In her mind, she remembered the shape of Dean's smile when she offered him a beer. When she was doing dishes, the rough, gentle touch of his hands when he came up from behind and smoothed down her shoulders. His lips would press just under her ear and whisper what they might get up to after dinner. Or before, if she was up for it (and she usually was).

"What do you want with us?" Lisa said, as loud as her voice could carry. She dug the heels of her scuffed shoes into the ground. She would fight this every inch of the way.

"Right now? To stop being a pain in my ass," he snapped. His fingers dug painfully into her shoulder and waist as he dragged her along, all but pushing her up a flight of rickety metal stairs. She kept looking back to check on Ben, who was making his way up behind her with the bald demon's meaty hand on his shoulder.

The stairs led into the old, dilapidated building and down to the cement floor once inside. She was pushed the last couple of steps and nearly tripped over her feet.

"Mom!" Ben began to rush toward her to help her from falling, but Baldy grabbed him by the back of his hoodie.

"Don't touch him!" Lisa yelled, but was prevented from reaching her son by Floyd grabbing hold of her arm.

"My, my. Such drama," a graveling voice drawled. Lisa's gaze swung to the top of the stairs. There a man in a trim black suit stood, seeming both amused and exasperated.

"Who the hell are you?" she spat. The man's lips twitched into a smile.

"Well, darling, I'm the reason you're still breathing. But call me Crowley, if you must," he said while making his descent on the stairs. "Do make the boy comfortable in the waiting room, George. I'd like a chat with our lady guest before I go."

She watched Baldy—or George—begin to lead Ben farther into the room while Floyd pushed her toward the door leading into a different room. It would leave Ben alone with a demon.

"No," Lisa said quickly, "No, please—"

"It'll just be for a minute, I promise," said Crowley. "You won't even remember being apart."

Ben looked over his shoulder at her, terrified. She felt hot tears well up in her eyes.

"Ben!"

The door slammed shut behind her, leaving her with two demons. She was released long enough for her to try and open the locked door, jiggling its handle fruitlessly.

Dean, where the hell are you?

"If he hurts him, I swear to God I'll—"

"Luke, if you would."

The moment she turned around was the moment the world spun and tilted on its axis, leaving her falling into the shadows of consciousness.

Ben…

Lisa woke slowly, like crawling out of a vat of peanut butter. She didn't know why peanut butter was what she thought of. Maybe because she hadn't eaten in several hours.

But the room was darkened by night falling outside. She could only tell because there were windows near the ceiling that were letting moonlight filter in, and this room was brighter earlier.

Ben. Where's Ben.

He's here.

Lisa was startled by the second thought that was definitely not her own, but she didn't jump from where she sat on the floor with her hands tied behind her back. She felt something like a wall against her back, but couldn't move her hands to feel it or turn her head to see it.

She couldn't move her own body.

The hysteria bile was coming back up...or it would have. But she couldn't even properly freak out. Her breathing was steady.

Oh, relax. You're fine…relatively speaking.

Who…who are you? What's happening?

It's me, sweetheart. Let's just say the Boss needed a little…insurance, if your boyfriend shows up.

If she could have, Lisa would've started hyperventilating. She couldn't control her body and she couldn't even see if Ben was okay, and suddenly she wished she'd let Dean talk her into getting that goddamn tattoo.

I like it in here. It's so…roomy.

She wanted to throw up.

Nuh uh, none of that. Look.

"Ben," Luke whispered, using her voice.

"Yeah?" the boy answered.

"You okay?"

"…Yeah. I'm okay."

"Good." Lisa's eyes turned to Ben sitting next to her, and she smiled weakly. "It's gonna be okay, honey."

"Yeah," Ben said, nodding.

Inside, Lisa was horrified.

You're  sick! Let me go!

Fucking hell, shut up already. The demon's annoyance resonated in Lisa's mind like an oily echo. But then, she sensed his attention drift, then sharpen. Something was wrong.

Hmm. Sounds like Winchester found you faster than the Boss hoped.

There were sounds of struggle coming from outside, and it wasn't long before the other two demons that went to investigate were killed by one Dean Winchester. Were Lisa in control of her body, her breath would've hitched at the sight of him, furious and worried and relieved at seeing her.

"Dean, thank God," Lisa's voice greeted him when Dean hastened to cut through the ropes tying her wrists together with a knife Lisa recognized. She was screaming at him to stop, to take Ben and get this thing out of her before she hurt either of them.

Ya know, I don't think he can hear you, the demon taunted.

"Let's get you outta here," Dean said and quickly moved on to cutting Ben's ropes. "Okay. Okay let's go."

He helped the boy up and started leading him out the way they came in, but Lisa's hand shot out and grabbed both Ben and Dean's knife faster than the hunter could react.

"The brat's not going anywhere," said Luke, who hooked an arm around Ben's neck and held the knife there threateningly. "And neither am I."

Lisa couldn't know that her eyes were flashing black, but she had a feeling they were. Dean slightly flinched upon looking at her face.

"Crowley thought you might come. So he had me jump this hot little piece of ass for insurance," the demon said. "Can't go losing our leverage, can we?"

That made Dean angry enough to start forwards, even though he was now unarmed. The demon made a sound of protest.

"One more step: free appendectomy," Luke said, and poised the knife against Ben's neck. Dean immediately stopped.

"You know, she's awake in here, your mom," the demon whispered softly to Ben. The boy looked up at his mom's face with fearful eyes. "I can hear her thinking."

"Don't listen to her, Ben," Dean said. His voice wavered just slightly, and it made Lisa's heart break. She could see his emotions roiling, despite how much she knew he was trying to be strong for her son.

It was then that she understood why they had moved. Why Dean had always double-checked the locks on all the doors in the house and spray painted sigils under the rugs that she'd stupidly allowed to fade. Why he had agonized over his decision to stay or to go. Why he made sure she knew how to shoot a gun, and what sulfur smelled like before he left for good.

This was Dean's worst nightmare.

"What?" The demon grinned. "I was just gonna tell him that you're his real Daddy."

Dean's face went slack, and even Lisa became quiet in the recesses of her mind.

"At least, she thinks so," Luke added. "Her brain was kinda foggy around that time. So who knows who your real dad is, kid. You're mom's a slut."

"You shut your mouth," Dean grated out.

"Oh, what? You're her White Knight now?" The sound of Lisa's mocking laugh made her feel sick. "She wishes she never met you, Dean. You were the worst mistake she ever made."

Stop it, Lisa shouted. Her heart was shattering, seeing that look in Dean's eyes. Like he'd already told himself those exact words.

Please, stop.

The demon glanced down at Ben's wide and almost tearful eyes.

"Second worst…besides keeping you."

"It's not your mom, Ben," Dean reminded. "She's lying."

"Says the C- lay with ten miles of daddy issues," the demon mocked. "Whatever gets you through the night, Tiny Tim."

Dean grew angry enough to advance, to try anything to get Ben out of her hands.

"Ah-ah—back off, cowboy," Luke said, Lisa's hand tightening on the knife. He then leaned down to Ben's ear. "She's begging me to kill you. She says you hold her back. Never had a lick of fun since you were born."

STOP! Lisa screamed, but was effectively ignored. None of it was true, and she had no way of fighting back. She could only be grateful to Dean, who always, always protected her son.

"Ben," Dean interrupted, fiddling with something in his pocket. "Look at me, look at me. You're gonna be just fine."

Ben nodded shakily, then ducked when Dean threw holy water at Lisa's face, burning the demon within. Finally Ben was out of relative danger, and he grabbed the knife when the demon kicked it out of Dean's reach. Dean wouldn't throw a single punch, despite being egged on by Luke.

"What's the matter, Dean? Hit me," the demon shouted. "Oh…you don't wanna hurt poor Lisa."

"Exorcizamus te," Dean began. "Omnis immundus spirtius—"

"Shut your mouth," Luke cut him off by throwing a right hook across his face. Dean crashed into a nearby table of rusty tools and braced himself on its edge.

He continued the exorcism through bloody teeth. "Omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii—"

Lisa was starting to feel lightheaded. She could feel the demon's pain and anger, until that anger surged forward and her hands were wrapping themselves around Dean's throat. Dully in the background were Crowley's embedded warnings (threats) not to harm either of the Winchesters.

"Stop it," Luke warned.

It didn't occur to Lisa that she could hear the demon's thoughts too, but in her growing alarm and her screaming for the demon to stop, she remembered Sam. He and Dean had probably come here together, so where was he?

"I'm warning you…" The demon squeezed harder on Dean's throat, trying to cut off the words from his windpipe. Dean clutched at Lisa's hand and stared back murderously.

"You can go to hell, you black-eyed bitch."

Lisa couldn't warn Dean as her hand grabbed for a metal tool for scraping plaster off of the table, and she felt the pain of stabbing herself, while unable to cry out.

The demon laughed.

Ben shouted for her, and Dean flinched, looking as if he would've cried out for her too. He reluctantly finished the exorcism and caught Lisa before she hit the ground, but suddenly she could see the world around her so much more clearly.

The coppery taste of blood was in her mouth as she stared up at Dean and found herself wanting to touch his cheek. His eyes looked so pained, she just wanted to let him know it would be okay. It wasn't that bad.

"Here, put pressure here." He stuffed a balled piece of cloth into her hand and pressed it into the hole in her stomach, and she couldn't help but whimper as stars burst into her line of vision.

Fuck, that hurt like hell.

"I know, sweetheart. I know," he murmured, and dialed a number on his cell phone. "Sam! Where are you, damn it!"

Where's Sam? she thought, but soon she didn't have time to think as new pain bloomed in her abdomen at being lifted into Dean's arms. Distantly she heard him instructing Ben how to shoot the salt gun he'd picked up from the floor.

Once upon a time, she might've been angry about that, but now she was wondering why Dean had never taken him to the shooting range. Ben would've loved that.

Lisa sometimes tried to speak while Dean was hefting her around everywhere, though she didn't know what they were looking for. Maybe they were looking for Sam.

"S-Sorry," she whispered. For not thinking things through. For not trying harder to get through to him on what he was going through when Sam came back. All those times she could tell he was lying to her face, or just refusing to tell her what was going on.

Dean didn't hear her right away, but briefly he looked down at her like she was crazy. He bowed his head to her. "Just relax, Lis. I'm gonna get you out of here, okay?"

She meant to agree, but what came out was a pained whimper.

She might've blacked out for a few minutes, because when her eyes next opened, she was pressed into Dean's side in the Impala. She knew it was the Impala because the leather smelled like him.

"—ey, stay awake for me, sweetheart. Open your eyes," he whispered, gentle, but panicked. "Don't fall asleep."

"Sorry."

"Don't be, it's gonna be okay."

"…Wasn't me, Dean."

"What?" Dean asked, but seemed to think better of it. "It's all right, don't talk. I've got you."

"No," Lisa insisted. She had to get this out before she passed out again, and she could feel herself fading. If these were the last words she ever said to him, she'd be damn sure they were good ones.

"I don't regret it," she managed. "Not you."

The last thing she felt was his shuddering breath against her cheek, and his cool lips on her forehead.

Lisa felt warm. Her whole body, sluggish and slow and warm. She felt herself being pulled into consciousness, only dimly aware of clicking sounds, beeping, and hushed voices only beginning to make sense.

"'rase me from her mem…ries. Like I…never there."

Dean?

"She and Ben…never met me."

"Are you sure?"

What…

"Do it."

The bricks on her eyelids lifted just enough for her to open her eyes.

So she did.

It was just in time to see a pair of blue eyes widen. The hand reaching for her head retreated.

And then she realized there was a tube in her mouth and it was becoming hard to breathe as she gagged. Shortly after, the room was flooded with nurses trying to prevent her from choking. Once the room stopped swirling around, Dean was at her side, and Ben wasn't.

Dean tried to smile, she smiled back. A small one, but a real one. She saw the beginning of tears in his eyes, but he stubbornly blinked them away.

"Ben?" she croaked, and winced at the sound of her own voice.

"He's gettin' you some water."

Then his gaze wandered away from hers, and his smile faded.

"Dean," she prompted, earning his attention back. "What happened when I woke up? Who...who was that man?"

For a moment he looked tempted to lie, but she made sure he could see in her eyes that she would only accept the truth. Maybe he couldn't get it out. The blue-eyed man was gone, though.

She'd let it slide for the moment, but if the drugs let her remember, she'd be getting an answer on that later. 

"Lisa, I'm sorry," he said. She saw the depth of his guilt in every line of his face. "I'm so sorry about this, it's...it's why I left."

"I get it," she said. Because this time, she really did.

"I meant it," she added, because she couldn't help it. Even though it hurt her throat. "What I said."

Dean knew what she was talking about. She could see it in the flickers of conflict across his face. His lips pursed.

"Lisa—"

"I do regret some things I said before. Before we…before I ended it," Lisa said. "I was so mad at you…God, Dean. I was mad as hell. The way you kept me in the dark all the time. You kept lying to me, when we were supposed to be in this together."

"I never lied to you," he denied.

"You never told me the truth about what was going on. That's the definition of lying."

Dean looked down at the wires connecting her body to the machines on her left, the IV in her arm. His guilt just kept mounting, because he knew she was right.

"You're a hunter, and I wanted to believe you could be happy with a normal life," she continued. "But when I knew you wouldn't be, I didn't want to be a part of something I…didn't understand."

With the little strength she felt coming back to her limbs, she reached over and touched Dean's cold hand. He sighed and held her hand more securely in his. He allowed her to tug him down to the edge of her hospital bed, and he sat facing her.

The knowledge that she would be all right didn't quell the fact that she almost wasn't, and it hurt him deeply to see her small frame dwarfed by a hospital bed and all these monitors and wires.

He'd spent the past few months convincing himself he'd never see this woman again. So it was a unique kind of torture to just sit here and wait for the inevitable moment where he would have to leave, when every fiber in his being wanted to shred at the thought.

"I understand better now," Lisa said. "And while it's…scary beyond fucking belief. It also sounds...really lonely."

Dean stared down at their entwined fingers for a moment, before he found the strength to meet her gaze.

"That's why it's better if I go," he said. "For good this time."

Lisa deflated. Emotion rose up in her throat, threatening to choke her, and her eyes began to sting. "Why?"

"You know why, Lis." Dean rubbed his face with his free hand. "You and Ben…just by knowing me, you're in danger."

"So it shouldn't matter how far you go," she said quietly. Dean stilled.

"Dean, I've tried to forget you." Lisa shook her head. "I just…I can't. Truth is…I don't want to."

Dean looked away from her, seemingly anywhere but her. And it hurt.

She realized how much it must've hurt him when she turned her back on him.

At the time, she'd felt more than a little justified, after being told half-truths over and over. Being fed the same lame-ass excuses for why he wasn't coming home when he said he was, why Sam couldn't just come back with him.

Being scared every day that she would get a call from Sam, telling her Dean was dead.

Ben being pushed was just what sent her over the edge.

But the more she thought about it, really thought about it…she hadn't wanted to know what her boyfriend was doing. What she was sure was life-threatening and bloody and horrifying. The stuff of her nightmares.

But Dean had always asked for so little.

Lisa had come to know that he was a family man at heart. All he'd wanted was to keep what he had. All of his family.

"You don't deserve that…neither does Ben," she said. "And neither do I."

It was a while before he answered. She could almost see his mind working, sifting between pros and cons and weighing just how much of a bad idea it was.

She wondered what Sam would think. His opinion would definitely sway Dean, as much as she disliked the thought. But if he was anything like his brother, then maybe there was a chance.

Even now, she could see Sam talking in the hallway with her son. Both were smiling, and she had a feeling Sam was trying to buy them time to talk. She was grateful.

Dean sighed. "We've tried this before, Lis."

He looked ready to let go of her hand, but she wasn't ready. She hadn't been ready when she first let him go either, but she'd realized it too late. Lisa could've died tonight without ever having apologized.

Her tears finally fell, streaming one by one down her face. She'd told herself that she would never cry about Dean again. But she supposed that was a lie too.

"Ben loves you." Her voice shook, but the way he unconsciously tightened his grip on her hand made her smile.

"And misses you," she said, wiping her eyes with her free hand. She smiled. "So much. I can't fault him for it, because I do too. I just can't ever admit to anything."

He had to know that she loved him. They'd never said the words, but they had never really needed them. Though she still felt terrible about Matt, and knew she needed to call his family once they were leaving the hospital, she knew they had never even come close. He had been a good man that didn't deserve to die, and she would miss his friendship...

Maybe Ben didn't need a father to become a good man. Maybe Lisa didn't need a man to live a good life. But she'd be damned if they lost Dean again.

"I miss him too," Dean admitted, though there was something in his eyes she couldn't name when he looked into hers. "He's a good kid."

Your kid, she couldn't help but think, and she bit her lip. She knew he'd heard the demon loud and clear. Lisa almost thought he would ask.

He didn't. Not yet. A conversation for another time, when she was stronger.

"So what do we do?" she asked.

Dean hesitated.

Then he let go of her hand with a sigh. Just so he could press the palm of his warmed hand to her cheek.

She smiled. He smiled back, and then gave in to the bone-deep desire to lean in towards her lips.

When he kissed her, it was gentle but familiar. It felt like hello again, and also... 

I'm home. 

Her lips still remembered what he tasted like, and the warmth of that knowing traveled all the way down to her toes.

"Okay," he agreed, resting his forehead against hers.

"You sure?" she whispered.

He gave a weak smirk. "I'm damned if we don't."

Dean Winchester One-Shots

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Main Masterlist

#dean winchester #dean x lisa #spn #spn fanfic #supernatural #supernatural fanfic #lisa braeden #ben braeden #ben is dean's son #dean/lisa #dean/lisa AU #sam winchester #apple pie life #dean winchester x lisa braeden #SPN season 6 fix #zepskies writes

[twoidiotwriters1]

Copycat: Cryptomnesia —(Marvel Fem!Oc)

A/N: I know I’m using all the Matt gifs in the world that is bc I love him -Danny

Words: 1,327

Phase Five Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Listen to: ‘When Am I Gonna Lose You?’ -by Local Natives

vii: Alone

It was getting old saying she couldn't remember something ever happening. But she couldn't remember the last time she'd felt miserable without doing anything to deserve it. Though that was a stretch, she'd killed some strangers, but Matthew didn't know it, he was mad at her because she didn't want to talk.

"I'm going to work," he walked past her.

"Have a good day."

"I'll come back after midnight," he added.

"I'll start moving my things back while you're at work," Cat said.

The man opened his mouth to respond but nothing came out from it. It wasn't like she was doing this out of spite, she'd never promised to stay, they'd been entertained by their domestic bliss, but now it was time. Cat would quit her job and stress about getting a new one, she didn't want Matthew to witness that, he was a safe space.

Matt cleared his throat. "You need help?"

"I didn't bring any furniture with me," she shrugged. "I can carry bags on my own, thank you."

That'd been all she'd done for the past two years anyway, carrying all her stuff alone. With one or two breaks to carry someone else's.

Matthew nodded. "You'll sleep here tonight?"

"Yeah..." she wanted to add "I wanna feel you near me one last time" but thought it'd sound like some kind of emotional manipulation. "Need to tidy up my place."

He gave a step forward and lightly kissed her cheek, he hesitated a moment, and she waited.

"Call me if you need anything."

She smiled, but it was empty. "Sure."

Matthew was good to her, he'd only grown distant because he was afraid of what a deeper commitment would bring into their lives, he'd gone through enough heartbreak already. Cat didn't know what it was like to have her heart broken, she'd lost friends and family, but never a lover.

Her lack of experience was playing tricks on her, she was convinced that he was disgusted by her actions and that he no longer wanted her around. Yet, she still refused to talk about it. All she had to do was fix everything herself so Matthew could see she was good, and then he'd trust her again. All was okay, she just had to wait a little, and once everything was over they'd be happy.

She heard a thump against her living room window, Cat went to inspect and found Felix sitting outside, waiting to be let in.

"Baby!"

The fluffy white cat purred against her chest for as long as Cat held him, she scattered kisses all over his tiny head, wrinkling her nose at the smell of trash and old fish coming from him. She lifted the cat and stared at him.

"Will you let me bathe you?" The cat gazed at her sternly. "Please?"

Felix did a short, cutesy mewl, and then bumped his head against her chin. Cat took him to the bathroom, where she closed the door. The feline stared at her intrigued, she went to the tub and began to fill it with hot water for two minutes, then cold, and kept going until it was full enough.

The cat watched her from the toilet, she took her drenched hand and reached to hold Felix carefully. He licked the droplets from her fingers, then bumped his head against it. Cat made him stand with his two front paws at the edge of the tub.

"I'm sorry, I can't have you stinking the whole place."

He tried to fight it, and Cat's hands ended up scratched, but eventually, the pet enjoyed the warmth of the water and the way she rubbed behind his ears. After forty minutes of arduous yet devoted work, Felix went from being a seemingly white cat to an actually white-as-a-cloud creature. She wrapped him in a towel and carried him out of the bathroom, he was crying like a baby.

Her phone was buzzing when she went to the kitchen, it was almost seven, but that was too early for Matthew to be calling. "Mouse, answer the phone, please?"

"You got it."

"I know what you're going to say," Yelena's voice came through. "But wait until I tell you."

"Am I a hostage here? Why hasn't she sent the papers?"

"You have one last mission," the agent replied. "Before you whine about it, you should know it's in New York, so you don't need to leave your Matthew."

Cat frowned. "I send my resignation and they reply with a mission? Why are you calling me and not De Fontaine?"

"I'm billing her for this. Anyway, a company wants to transport expensive construction stuff out of the island, but they're asking for extra security."

"Okay."

"Really?" Yelena sounded glad. "I thought I'd have to hear you complain about it."

Cat placed Felix near her feet, the animal quickly squirmed out of the towel and started to lick his legs frantically. "I'll sit around waiting for things to happen and I'll get paid and then that's it? I won't have to kill anybody, which is great. I just think it's weird the UN is getting involved in a construction matter?"

"Oh I think it's for a restoration or something, I don't know. Maybe they're finally fixing the statue of liberty. I'll tell the company guys to call you."

"Tell Valentina to call me too."

When Matthew came back she was curing her scratches.

"What happened?" He approached, gently holding one of her hands.

"Felix," she let him examined her, glad to discover he wasn't entirely indifferent to her yet. "Gave him a bath. He was not amused."

Matthew brushed the tips of his fingers against the injuries. "He'll be dirty again in less than a week."

"Cats lick themselves clean. As long as he doesn't stink I don't mind the rest..."

"How did the moving go?" He pulled a chair to sit in front of her.

"All my stuff is there, so I hope you won't mind me sleeping naked."

"Oh, not at all," Matthew used both hands to hold hers, rubbing his thumb against the back of it. "Karen said something about a girls' night..."

Cat blushed. "I promised I would go out with her but... I've been busy."

"You want her number?"

"I should have it, yes..."

After a moment of silence, he continued. "Have you thought about..."

"About what?"

"I heard the accords got repealed."

She smiled, it was the first genuine one in days. "The more I think about it the less I can believe it. I signed that thing when I was fifteen, and now that's gone some things repeat over and over in my head and it's..." her eyes lost focus for a moment, she realized something. "Makes me feel like all that was for nothing."

Matthew tilted his head. "Is that the reason why you quit your job?"

She decided there was no harm in this, given that he was acting pretty cool about it. "I needed to be sure I was doing the right thing—"

"Not killing is always the right thing—"

"I meant for me," she frowned. "I was cornered into a bad place."

"By who?"

By ghosts. She was standing with her back against a wall and the thing that had her frozen in place was the abyss in front of her. Complete darkness that echoed her friends' voices made it impossible to think about her personal interests.

"By duty," she said. "I owed it to them... it's my job to follow the rules they fought for, cause they're meant to make the world a better place."

Matt shook his head a little, not believing her. "I know you lost people you cared for... but I don't understand why you'd waste your life for their sake."

"Because they saved me," Cat frowned. "And I'm not wasting my life. You don't know who I was before them."

He stopped stroking her hand, a little annoyed. "I know I don't know. That's exactly the problem."

There was a time in which having Matthew's hand intertwined with hers made her feel steady."We have each other" she remembered saying that was enough, but now, sitting in the middle of his apartment with his full attention on her, like she'd wanted all those years ago, Cat felt entirely misunderstood.

Next Chapter—>

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#twoidiots writing #marvel #marvel fic #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #copycat fic

[vethbrenatto]

I will take your Halfling Luck. I don’t need it.

#critical role #widobrave #caleb widogast #veth brenatto #nott the brave #mighty nein #cr spoilers #creations #c2e141 #*sam obstinately refuses to reroll his ones* #sam & liam: you could make a character moment out of this! #no joke this is where i started crying for the first time in 7 hrs #and i didn't cry again until matt's closing words

[vampkillr]

Migraine — Matt Murdock

m! reader — 1k words — hurt/comfort — mention of suicide — i had a migraine for 3 days so. this is escapism. wish i could have been knocked out for that shit. kinda jealous of the character

I could almost hear the incessant pounding of the blood that rushed through my head. A throb that had me convinced my brain was growing with each second, an ache that felt as if my skull was getting pressed through the inside out. Every small sound, every glow of light, every movement was a jagged knife being sheathed directly into my skull. I couldn't cry, I couldn't move, even blinking was a hellish feeling.

It didn't just hurt. I had become a shivering shell of a human. I was overcome with a suffering that I didn't even have the words to describe. Methodic, relentless pain. Unemotional and unending. There was nothing I could say or do to make it stop. "Again?" I could hear Matt, but I made no move to look at him or respond. My body was a cage in which there was no action without consequence. "I'll go get the medicine." I could hear every step he made, tiptoeing over to the windows to close the blinds and walking away. The simple things that I wasn't able to do for myself like getting up to turn off a light or switch on a fan, Matt did them without having to be asked, without expecting a 'thank you'. Times like these, where pain was my cocoon, Matt took care of me so silently. "This is the normal stuff," He whispered, voice barely on the precipice of being audible. I could taste the coating of the pill he pushed in my mouth. "and this tea should knock you out. I asked Stick for something to help and apparently this should keep you asleep until the Migraine is gone." A cup was pressed to my lips and I drank the sweet concoction, having no qualms about the fact I was being drugged.

When I woke up, Matt was laying beside me, and the hurt which engulfed me was almost completely gone. The side of my head felt hollow, and I knew all too well it would feel like that for days, but I felt strangely euphoric. All I was left with was a quiet evening and a brain without the strength to let complex thoughts occupy it. I was in my body again. "You okay?" His voice was still quiet, cautious.

"Always am," I whispered, turning on my side to face him. "are you?" My fingers found place on his chest, ghosting over the raised scars that laid so perfectly on his skin. A deep breath and a sigh.

"I can't think rationally when you get like that,” He started and I braced myself for the worst outcome of a conversation like this. I wouldn't hold it against him if he didn't want to take care of me anymore, but the drop in my gut at the thought was nauseating. “I can hear that you're not dying, I can hear your brain and I know you'll be okay— but I get so desperate. So..... anxious.” He almost sounded in disbelief that he could experience a feeling like that. “I would do anything in this world for you and the one thing I want to do most is the one thing I have no power over.”

I leaned my head on his chest and he pulled me to lay on top of him completely, holding onto me like if he didn't one of us would die. “What is it that you want to do?” I knew he could tell how nervous I was of his answer. I knew he could all but taste the fear that laced my words. Maybe even then.

“I want to take all of your pain and feel it for you. I want to take it all away from you the second you start to feel that way.” Matt pressed a kiss to my forehead. “You were asleep for a whole day.” I guessed as much from my change of clothes and my need to pee, but I wasn't going to outright tell him that.

“You do enough by just being with me. You function for me when I can't. You bathe me, turn lights off, close curtains, feed me, cover me up, clean up,” I propped myself up to get a good look at him. His beauty never ceased to amaze me. “You have no idea how much easier you make things, Matthew. You make all of it bearable. You make me want to push through it instead of giving up. I adore you— and everything you do is something I appreciate more than words can describe.” I understood the stress of a caretaker. I knew far too well exactly the way Matt felt— and during the time my father needed me, I was just a kid. A kid who had no idea what was happening to his dad. A scared kid who just knew he needed to be the man of the house for a few days every month.

I had no idea it felt this bad for him— but after the first one, I understood exactly why he killed himself. This was a disease only in death you could escape from. A disease that would make even a god-fearing man like Matthew accept a punishment of hell just to be without the torture. “You're staring.” He smiled.

“Just thinking,” I trailed off, kissing him gently and ignoring the embarrassment of not realizing he knew when I would stare. “I know what it feels like... To not be able to do anything and just watch.” Matt's hold on me squeezed just a bit tighter.

“I know,” He whispered. “you don't have to talk about him.” I never talked about my dad. And it wasn't necessarily because I didn't want to; of course I wasn't bothered by not having to— but, I think part of it was because the idea of me doing something similar scared Matthew. It scared him to death and he had no idea how obvious it was that he felt that way. I was the one person he let himself have. The person he couldn't lie to or try to run away from. Losing me would destroy him.

“I'm never gonna do that to you. I'm not gonna let you go through what I did.” Of course, the circumstances are different, but I couldn't rest in my grave knowing I robbed him of me. Even if living was the most painful thing in the world. I would endure it for him. He was enough for me.

likes and reblogs are appreciated — psa being this emotionally dependent on a person is very unhealthy so please don't think i'm encouraging thought like this. i am not. but, sometimes people can't help but think that way. which is what's happening here.

#ao3 #fanfic #reader insert #writing #x male reader #angst #marvel x male reader #ftm reader #daredevil x male reader #daredevil x reader #matt murdock x male reader #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock

[a-bang-for-your-bucky]

The Devil Between Us

Chapter Four: Ghost

read chapter three here

Warnings: Hostage situation, death threat, bombs, minor character suicide, explicit language, guns, blood, violence, canon typical BS.

Lewis had his arm around your neck before you could scream. Straight ahead of you was none other than Frank fucking Castle. He was dead, so you had to be too, right? Except the way the man behind you tightened his grip, cutting into your airway, made you think otherwise. 

"Just let her go, Wilson. She ain't got nothing to do with this." Frank's gruff voice filtered through the ringing in your ears. Your captor unzipped his jacket, revealing C4 strapped to his chest and took the detonator in his hand. Lewis started dragging you out of the room, your feet struggling to stay underneath you. 

"She's everything to do with this. She's part of the problem, Frank! And everyone else who is like her." The man yelled in your ear. "She supported you, Frank. But me? I'm a terrorist." 

It felt like your heart dropped into your stomach. You didn't support Frank. You knew what he did was wrong, you just helped uncover what happened to his family. And it weaved an even bigger web that you quickly cut yourself loose from. "Please." You cried, trying to pry his forearm off your windpipe."I'm pregnant. Please, just let me go. Let me and my baby go." You pleaded, not for your life, but for the innocent life you were carrying. 

I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. The words echoed through Frank's head. For a split second he saw Maria in your place. And he saw red. "Let her go!" Frank bellowed, sending shivers down your spine. 

Lewis didn't loosen his hold, even when the NYPD burst through the stairwell door. "Don't shoot!" You screeched, seeing multiple high caliber rifles pointed at you. "He's got a bomb, don't fucking shoot." 

"Drop your weapons or I will blow us all to hell!" Lewis showed the officers the release trigger. He continued dragging you into the elevator, pressing the button so the doors could slide closed. "I didn't want to hurt you. But then you called me a monster, a terrorist." He told you, his voice shaking. 

"I can listen now. I was wrong, Lewis." You lied through your teeth, terrified of what he was going to do.  "Let me tell your story. Please." You begged yet again, knowing you weren't going to get through to him. The elevator dinged, signaling you had made it to the lowest level of the hotel. 

He led you down the hall into the kitchen, scaring away the employees. Lewis released you, trying to figure out his next move. You watched the crazed man pace back and forth, mumbling under his breath. What you wouldn’t give for Daredevil to burst through the doors, for Matt to come save you for once.

There were grunts and yells in the hall that got Lewis's attention until it fell silent again. You stood there waiting, wondering who was about to come through the door. "I have a bomb!" Wilson screeched, moving closer to you.

The swing doors opened with a clash, revealing Frank. “WILSON!” He roared as he watched Lewis pull you back into his hold.

Frank held up his hands, “I’m unarmed. I just want the girl to go free.” He tried to negotiate. “We can end this. Just you, me, and a bomb.” He moved a bit closer, causing Lewis to pull up on your neck, making you cry out. “Lewis, do the right thing. Like you did with Curtis. You told me to pull that white wire. Let her go.” Frank looked at you pointedly when he said ‘white wire’. As gently as you could, you started reaching for the cords. Frank started to move closer. 

“Stay back!” The kid yelled, showing Frank the detonator, again. This made him curse as he walked backwards away from you and Lewis. You tried to stay calm, letting Castle control the situation. You focused on trying to find the right cable. 

You looped your fingers around a wire. Frank watched your movements as he tried to talk Lewis down. A subtle shake of his head told you it was the wrong one. He continued, talking about his father and how the choices Lewis had made today will ruin his life. Another wire, another shake of his head. 

Lewis jerked you to the side, wrenching your neck, making you whine in pain. Frank almost lurched forward. “We’re creatures of habit, Lewis! We like to do the same thing over and over again. Just like women and their goddamn bags, right?” A nod of Frank’s head told you your fingers were clenched around the white wire. “I mean, look at her. She’s still got that bag around her neck, even after everything she’s been through. Ma’am, I imagine you could tell me everything you have in that bag, right?” The gun you snagged before Lewis grabbed you. You snuck a hand into your bag, wrapping your fingers around the hilt, putting your finger on the trigger. “Now, Lewis. You’re a creature of habit, if I’ve ever seen one. Do it now!” Frank ordered. You jerked the wire, freeing it from the detonator. You yelled, as Lewis clicked the button over and over, not releasing you. You squeezed the trigger on the gun, shooting the man in the right foot. 

Frank rushed forward as Lewis pushed you right into his arms. He moved you out of the way, chasing Lewis into the freezer. You walked over to the exit. Hearing footfalls of NYPD officers, you turned back to Frank. “Shit. Shit. Fuck. We gotta get out of here, Frank! Now!” Your voice was hoarse, but full of worry. 

“You get outta here, sweetheart.” Frank said, not taking his eyes off of Lewis. 

“Frank!” 

He called your name, “You go. Go now!” He demanded, turning to look at you this time. You walked up to him, shaking your head. 

“Hell no! Come on!” You retorted, running a nervous hand through your hair. Suddenly, Frank turned, running for you, as the bomb exploded with force. Frank tackled you to the ground, covering you from debris. You coughed as smoke filled your lungs. 

“Hey, hey. You okay? Look at me.” He caressed your head as tears started to fall from your eyes. “You with me?” He asked. You nodded, coughing again. 

“Ho–” The word was cut off by a cough. “How are you getting out of this?” You wondered, knowing that Brett was waiting with the whole NYPD outside. Frank looked at your bag. 

“Do you trust me?” 

“Don’t shoot.” God, you were tired of saying that. “Don’t shoot. Don’t shoot.” Frank walked you out into the hall with the gun under your chin. He stumbled out, holding you tightly. He had emptied the clip and removed the bullet in the chamber before he ever pointed the weapon at you. 

Sergeant Mahoney holstered his gun. “Hold your fire! Stand down.” He ordered his officers as Frank continued moving toward the elevator, slapping the button. “There’s no way out of this. Let her go, Castle.” Frank continued to move as the doors slid open. He shuffled the two of you inside until his back hit the wall. He kicked out a foot, slamming into the button that closed the doors.. 

As soon as the doors were sealed, he released you, moving the gun as far away as possible. You threw your bag to the floor, letting out short, ragged breaths. Frank leaned against the wall beside you, clearly injured. You reached out for him as you pushed yourself forward to pull the emergency stop button.

You watched as he moved around, stopping under the hatch in the ceiling of the metal box. He jumped, opening it. That’s when you noticed he had a piece of metal stuck in his tricep. “Frank.” You whispered, walking over to him. You reached for his arm. He looked down where your hand was, then back to the ceiling. His chocolate eyes met yours. You nervously chewed on your lip, trying not to cry. There were so many unspoken words between the two of you. You had grown close during his trial and after. He may have done a lot of bad things, but Frank Castle was a good man at heart. 

Frank leaned into you, resting his forehead against yours. You had the urge to kiss him, someone who wasn’t Matt. It would have been easy for you to lift your head, letting your lips slot against his. Instead, you pulled back, patting his arm. “Go.” you nodded as tears fell, “Go.” You stepped back, seeing that Frank was crying, too. 

“Take care of yourself, sweetheart.” He said, before jumping, grabbing onto the edge of the opening. With a painful grunt, he pulled himself up. Once again, you watched Frank Castle disappear out of your life. You let out a shaky sob, knowing you’d be in for one hell of an interrogation when Brett caught up with you.

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#matt murdock smut #matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock x you #daredevil x female reader #daredevil x you #daredevil smut #frank castle x female reader #frank castle x reader #frank castle #kat writes

[brainrotcharacters]

Not A Bother If It’s You

note: Matt is a comfort character, and I'm projecting my anxieties again. If you ain't in the mood for angst comfort, don't mind me. unedited.

ship: college!student!Matt x college!student!reader

summary: college (derogatory)

tags: mutual pining, parents worry about their child's future, angst comfort,

"What's going to happen to you when we're gone?"

If your parents screamed instead, it would have been easier. But we can't have nice things.

"I'd tell you to make room for me in that coffin." you drawled, pouring yourself a glass of alcohol. "I can imagine it's a big one."

Your dad crossed the space, snatching the glass from your hand and chucking it at the far wall. You didn't flinch; you expected it. The pieces of glass sparkled on the floor, the brown liquid spreading like the numbness you pushed into your arms and your legs.

He turned back and grabbed you by the chin. His eyes were bright with fury, but when you looked closer, there was fear. That you were throwing your life away. There was regret that he should've been better.

"Stop fucking around, you understand me?" he lowly said. "I thought you were okay. You said you were okay. I gave you everything I could, your mother and I sacrificed so much for you, and this is the thanks we get?"

If you breathed too deeply, you'd start crying.

"A full scholarship, all these goddamn electronics, and you wanna tap out when you're so close to the end. Help me understand how you became so stupid."

"Not everyone gets the privileges you've been given." your mother's voice was softer, and emphasized the points. "Not everyone is lucky to have both their moms and dads. You would throw away your three years and blame us for your misery."

Your father released you, hands on his waist as he strode away. His broad shoulders rose and fell with the effort of breathing. "I don't- I never blamed you."

Didn't you?

"How will you fend for yourself? Huh?" your father demanded. "Some rich executive asshole is going to walk all over you, and you won't be able to do anything about it because you're an idiot and you're desperate!"

"I have to go." you've been glancing at the door. In as less strides as possible, you grabbed your knife, license to carry, one of Matt's hoodies from the back of a chair, and a piece of cloth to soak with your tears and snot later.

You power walked to the door, where your mother was waiting. "Where are you going?"

"I need to calm down. So do you." you said in a shuddering breath.

Her face twisted into a deeper disapproval. "You, calm down? You don't get to be angry. You betrayed us. You know your dad's telling the truth."

"Please let me go." no, say it louder. Stronger.

Something behind you caught her eye, and she stepped away. You rush out quick, knowing your father was watching the back of your head.

"Why'd you let her go?"

He stared at your form until you were completely out of sight. "The jacket she took. It was Murdock's."

Your mother blinked. "Matthew, the blind kid at law school?"

Your father sighed, and moved away.

Matt was waiting for you on the fifth pew of the church. It was with no small amount of male pride that his hoodie (stolen by, and then given to you) grazed back and forth against your skin as you walked closer to him. "Did you text me while they were talking to you?"

"Before. My dad would have destroyed my phone otherwise."

He scooted over, and you settled down beside him, forehead on the pew in front of you. "Thanks... for making time."

"I keep telling you, it's not a bother if it's you."

The lump in your throat grows. Things would be better if you had the right to Matt's hugs, Matt's kisses, Matt's love, just Matt. If he could think of you and the next word that comes to mind is 'partner', you would have at least one win. The greatest win of them all.

"I wanna fucking die, Matt." you said through a hollow laugh, before a sob slipped out. You ultimately gave up, letting the tear stains form.

Matt heard his own heartbeat quicken. A world with no you, when he hasn’t yet even asked you on an official date? All he would ever have to remember you by was videos and the regret that he was too slow. But this was not a situation where he could mention it. His bullshit can wait until after you feel better. 

"You don't mean that." he tapped your foot with his, voice consistently soft and easy. "I remember you telling me that the next time you say that, I'm supposed to say 'you really just want to kill something inside you'. So?"

You laughed through the tears, seeing him smile proudly to himself. "Smartass."

“I’m just doing what you told me to do.” Matt sighs. "I don't intend to abandon you anytime soon, sweetheart. You know what that means?"

You prompted under your breath. "What, Matt?"

"I mean, I will eliminate anything that I believe puts you and me in danger. Including how this can spiral." he tapped your temple with a finger. "The only way I'll get out of your hair is if you ask it of me. You have to understand that."

You let yourself breathe deeper. "Careful, or I'll start thinking you have a crush on me."

“Bold words from the person wearing my clothes.”

“I don’t have a strong enough defense.“

Matt laughed, and all was right with the world. “We can think of something.”

#yes I'm sad. and? #matt murdock #daredevil #matt murdock comfort #daredevil comfort #matt murdock x reader #daredevil x reader #marvel daredevil #mcu daredevil

[boldlyvoid]

Million Dollar Man | Chapter Five

18+

summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.

Content warnings: sugar daddy!spencer, age gaps (14 years), daddy kink, blow jobs, handcuffs, thigh fucking, public sex, exhibitionism, edging, vibrators, dirty talk, dom spencer

word count: 4.6K

a/n: updates on Wednesdays and Saturdays

Chapter Five | Masterlist

He’s ripped from a peaceful slumber by his work phone ringing on the night table. Y/N asleep on his chest, he tries to reach for it without waking her, successfully he answers with a groggy whisper, “hello?”

“Morning sleepy head?” Emily laughs, “it’s 10 am, Reid, why are you whispering?”

“I’m with my girlfriend, she’s still asleep,” he realizes he’s never told the team flat out that he was seeing someone, they all guessed but none of them had really asked.

“Oh,” Emily seems just as shocked that he said it. “We have a local case, I need you here for the geo profile and then you can go back to your mandated break.”

“I’ll be in, in 30,” he replies before hanging up.

“Can I come?” She whispers against him, obviously awake from all the commotion.

“Sure,” he shrugs, “if you don’t mind seeing and hearing about whatever horrific thing happened this time.”

“I don’t,” she sits up and stretches, “come on Mulder, we’ve got a case to crack.”

He laughs, “sure thing Scully.”

—

He’s nervous in the elevator on the way up to the BAU, Y/N on the other hand is so excited she’s practically vibrating. She’s dressed for the part, with her little visitor's badge and Spencer’s hand held tightly in her own, she basically drags him towards the bullpen when the doors open.

“Spence!” Luke calls for him, Tara and Matt turn around with big smiles to see him. “Who’s this?”

“Uh,” Spencer swallows sharply, “this is my girlfriend, Y/N this is Luke, Matt and Tara.”

She lets go of his hand to shake theirs, he watches as they all smile and introduce themselves to her, causing the rest of the team to notice the new person in the room and rush over. They have a lot of questions, they’re all very surprised she’s as young as he was when he started at the bureau and that he’s actually bringing her around.

When he finds out what’s going on, he’s really glad he brought her in. There’s been a few bomb threats in D.C, one of which is the building across from Y/N’s apartment. They’re trying to keep hysteria to a minimum, he knows he wouldn’t have been able to tell her if he didn’t bring her, he also knows he would have broken protocol to get her out of there.

She sits at his desk while he works, looking through all his things for a while before Spencer hears a familiar voice in the bullpen. Penelope was called in for backup, making eye contact with Y/N as soon as she walked in and cheering. “Oh! You’re here!”

Spencer leaves the briefing room, abandoning the geo-profile to introduce Penelope to the girl she helped him find, he runs down the stairs and wraps his arms around her.

“Spencer,” she relaxes into his embrace and holds him close, “I’ve missed you so much.”

When Spencer pulls away, the smile on his face is remarkable, “Penelope, this is Y/N,” he says her name and Penelope automatically knows who she is.

He told her right after he bought her whole Wishlist, Penelope has known about her the longest and yet she’s never been able to meet her. She turns to Y/N with a smile, “are you a hugger?”

Y/N stands and wraps her arms around her, “I think I owe you a very big thank you,” she whispers in Penelope’s ear.

“For what?”

“Teaching grandpa over here how to use the internet,” she teases him, “and for your helpful tips, he was the nicest one I met on there.”

“You’re very welcome,” Penelope pulls back with another smile, holding Y/N’s face in her hands, “and thank you.”

Y/N pulls her into another hug and now everyone is watching, Spencer knows he’s going to be bombarded with questions eventually but for now, Y/N is going with Penelope to her office and Spencer has a map to look at while he stresses himself out.

Matt, Tara and Emily head to the scene to join JJ, Rossi and Will, leaving Luke with Spencer in the briefing room.

“Can I ask?”

Spencer nods, “go ahead.”

“How did you meet her? Was she one of your students?”

He doesn’t know how to answer, not because he’s ashamed of it or of her, rather because he doesn’t know if she’ll want people to really know. “Penelope helped me get online to meet people, I made an account on a sugar daddy website thinking it would be easier to pay someone who doesn’t know me to hang out rather than try and make a new friend.”

“That’s smart,” Luke nods along as he listens. “She seems really cool.”

“She’s the best,” he smiles. “She’s really smart and talented, she’s an author actually, her books coming out in January.”

“I’ll have to get a copy,” Luke smiles right back.

“Her publisher and I have actually planned a big birthday party slash final draft party, if you and the team want to come and have drinks and get to know her more, that would be really nice,” Spencer offers, knowing it’s about time they all celebrated something together.

“I’d love to come, and I’ll bring Penelope,” Luke’s just as excited as he is.

“I’m a little surprised you didn’t know already, being with Penelope and everything?”

He shrugs, “we don’t talk about work or really gossip about the team now that she’s not working here, it makes her a little sad that she left but she’s doing a lot better just coming in occasionally.”

“I didn’t think I’d like my months off at first, either, but now I’m also debating leaving,” he knows it's a lie. He’s already written his letter of recognition, he’s just waiting for the go-ahead from Y/N that they’re moving to California.

“16 years is a really long time to be doing this job,” he agrees, “I’m sure if you wanted to leave the bureau would offer you your full retirement package early, given everything you’ve been through for this country.”

Spencer nods, “don’t let this job take your spark, you’re very wonderful, Luke, and I’d hate to see you lose it for the greater good.”

“My greater good is just down the hall,” he smirks, “I make the world a better place for the woman I love, she’s the reason I get up every day and come to work because I can’t wait to get home to her safely.”

Luke has always loved Penelope, it’s been very obvious, and yet she didn’t want really anything to do with him until Derek advised her to be nice. She was so busy thinking about all her other babies leaving the nest after Derek that she didn’t take the time to consider bringing in Luke to the nest for warmth and love as well.

“When are you asking her to marry you?”

Luke turns bashful, a slight blush on his cheeks as he stares at the table, “Christmas, it’s her favourite time of the year.”

“Have you talked to Derek?” Spencer only worries slightly, after what happened with Kevin he doesn’t want to see it happen to Luke.

“Nope, I’ve talked to her brothers though, we’re going to California again this year for Christmas and they all said they’d love to have me in the family,” Luke smiles, “the Garcias are my favourite.”

Spencer isn’t normally a hugger but he walks around the table and wraps Luke up, “I’m asking Y/N in a week.”

“No way?”

He nods, “she’s the greatest good I’m ever going to get.”

“Amen, brother.”

—

Penelope’s job was incredible, she was in awe as she watched her tap away at her keyboard and answer a million and one questions. She reminded her of Ned from Kim Possible and she knew if she said that to anyone she’d give away just how young she is.

She’s gotten a lot of looks, she knows people are talking about it and yet she doesn’t really care. There isn’t any malice behind the stares and the whispers, they all seem genuinely surprised that Spencer has a girlfriend over the fact she’s in her 20’s.

There’s a single dull moment and she turns to Y/N, “can I please have the juicy details, please,” she begs and it makes her feel giddy.

She’s never really had any girlfriends like this, and she certainly didn’t have anyone to tell about Spencer. “He’s the love of my life, I’m completely serious.”

Penelope squealed, “that’s all I’ve ever wanted for him, ugh this is so exciting! Are you guys serious? How long has it been?”

She nods, “not long, uh he got me this necklace a week or two ago and we’ve been moving pretty slow for his sake. In the last 10 months he’s become my bestie and I’ve convinced him to move in and he sleeps in my bed now and I love waking up beside him… he’s a real gentleman.”

“That’s good, he’s never been able to take the scenic route in life… I know you’re only here cause he trusts you and if he trusts you that means you know everything and if you know ever—“

“Yeah,” she cuts her off, “I know about all of it and everyone who’s hurt him and how he’s hurt himself but what’s more important is that it doesn’t phase me, he’s just a person trying to deal with the life he’s been given, we all are.”

Penelope wraps her up in a gentle hug, “he’s always needed someone like you.”

It makes her heartbreak just a tiny bit thinking about how as long he didn’t have anyone. Sure, he was surrounded by his friends at work and loved enough that they all brought him back home but he was never cared for the way she would have done it. There’s a weird maternal instinct that comes over her with Spencer and she knows exactly why, all she knows is she wants to love him and care for him for the rest of his life.

If she lives to be 100, she hopes he lives to be 116, because there isn’t a day she wants to spend on this earth where Spencer Reid isn’t alive and beside her.

She’s not going to cry in Penelope’s arms after just meeting her so she pulls back with a smile, “but what kind of juicy details are we talking? Cause I can’t embarrass him too bad…”

Penelope’s laugh is evil as she rubs her hands together, “a little birdie whose name rhymes with shmerek said he knows how to use that mouth for more than just talking…”

It makes her laugh almost a little too hard and she starts to feel her face heat up, she simply nods, “yeah, we haven’t gone all the way but from what’s happened so far, I can agree.”

Penelope turns in her rolling chair and laughs, “ugh that’s so great, I’m glad you’re having a good time— I mean I always thought Spencer would be good in bed after all the chats we’ve had about kinks and shit, he’s really educated, obviously, but I always knew that it would translate from paper to real-life very easily.”

“Oh totally,” she nods feverishly, “we talked about that before actually, virginity is simply a construct used to control women and make them feel pure or dirty, to feel like they can take something from a woman and yet virgins are so sexual and in tune with their needs and wants that they typically are good or at least know what to do from whatever porn they’ve consumed when it comes down to it. How the more in tune with someone's sexuality that they are the better they are in bed because they apply what they want to their partner and almost get off more on the fact someone is enjoying them than the fact they’re being pleasured.”

Penelope shakes her head with a loving smile, “you listen when he talks, you love every part of him and you’re beautiful… he really hit the jackpot.”

She brushes it off with a laugh, “I got pretty lucky with him too.”

Her phone rings before she can agree, answering with a cheerful tone, Spencer is on the other end, “do you have my beautiful girlfriend with you still?”

“Present,” she answers for herself, “are you still here, dad-Spence?”

She bites her lip and closes her eyes, fuck.

“Yeah, uh, I am, we think we got the actual building with the bomb, they’ve sent the team down there to clear it and check it out.”

“I’ll head back to the bullpen, then,” she stands and heads to the door, not wanting to face Penelope after almost calling him daddy right in front of her.

“Hey,” she calls to Y/N, “don’t be embarrassed. I get it, believe me, I’ve answered some calls in here with the dirtiest remarks to the completely wrong people. But, I’ll see you later?”

She smiles, “yeah, I’d love to see you again.”

In the bullpen, Spencer’s by his desk all alone. His teams cleared out and now it was just the office staff wandering around. She wraps her arms around his waist and rests her head on his back, “ready to go home?”

“Uh, not yet…” he turns to look at her, “I don’t want to bring you back to D.C unless the case is closed.” He looks nervous and she understands it perfectly.

“Okie Dokie, she smiles, leaning in for a hug to get close to his ear, “can we fuck in a storage closet to pass the time?”

He laughs but he takes her hand and he pretends to take her on a tour, he leads her down the hall and towards the filing room where he knows no one will be. “No one has really used this room in ages, since we went digital, and Penelope had all this stuff put online anyway.”

“So you can bend me over that table and rail me next time we come back?”

“Or?” She hears his playful tone and smirks to herself, letting him manhandle her hands behind her back as he bends her over a table, “I could fuck these big beautiful thighs of yours?”

“So only you can get off? Please,” She scoffs at him, wanting to piss him off to see where it gets her, wiggling her ass back against him as she does so.

He unbuttons her pants and drags them down her legs to leave her in just her thong, taking a handful of her ass and squeezing before laying a hard slap against her, she gasps at the feeling but also at the fact it was so loud.

“They’re going to hear you?!” She whispers with a disappointed tone.

“Isn’t that what you said you wanted? You wanted everyone to know only daddy can take care of you?” He uses her own words against her and she whines. “That’s what I thought.”

“No, but seriously,” she turns her head to look at him, “check my pocket.”

He does exactly that, finding one of her little bullet vibes in the front pocket of her jeans, “you planned this?”

“I knew we’d be having some kind of sex somewhere in this building,” she smirks. “Also my safe word is red but keep going.”

“Alrighty, then,” she can hear the smirk on his face as he thinks it over.

He takes his handcuffs out of his back pocket and cuffs her, “you know, it’s public indecency looking like this in here, technically it’s a federal offence and it’s my duty as a federal officer to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

She swallows sharply, pushing back against his groin and gasping when her bare asscheek meets the cold metal of his gun in his holster. Sometimes she forgot he was a real FBI agent, sometimes it didn’t feel real to her because he was just her nerdy boyfriend and he never had any of his "cop props" with him… suddenly they weren’t just accessories to her anymore, he was actually a cop who just bent her over a table and cuffed her and now he’s going to fuck her "big beautiful thighs" as he called them.

“What’s the sentence, agent?” She plays along because damn he’s hot like this.

He presses his chest to her back as he leans in close to her ear, “It’s doctor, and you know that.”

He turns on the vibrator and rests it inside her underwear, right against her clit at the lowest setting, her thighs twitch at the feeling and all she wishes is that she had something to hold on to.

She whines again when she hears his belt buckle dangle and his zipper open, he grips his cock at the base and drags the head between her cheeks before slipping between her things with a sigh, “and it’s taking my time, you’re just going to have to, rather impatiently, deal with it.”

“Yes, doctor,” she closes her eyes and waits for the feeling of his cock between her legs but he doesn’t push in.

He places his feet on either side of hers so that she can't open her legs any further and finally, finally breaches her thighs. He groans at the drag of his cock against her skin as the vibrations from her panties continue to make her legs quake. She lets out a shaky breath and reaches for his shirt as he presses against her once more. Grabbing his tie instead, she pulls on it and he gasps for air.

“Sorry,” she mumbles with a smirk, not sorry at all for slightly choking him as she continues to hold his tie.

He swats her hands away from his tie and grips the cuffs to separate her hands, pushing them further up her back until it’s almost uncomfortable. The most uncomfortable thing about this was the fact he wasn’t inside of her, she felt so empty as she clenched around nothing. The stimulation on her clit was nice, the feeling of him taking her from behind is ungodly and yet he’s not in her. It’s the worst punishment in the whole world.

It was nowhere near enough to get her off and he knew that she wanted so much more that she wasn’t going to get, whining as he kept his thrusts at the same slow pace. It was agonizing, she squeezed her legs together more to tease him but he ended up liking it. There was nothing she could do for more, she was just going to have to let him take her, and that thought was what brought her closer.

“Please?” She begged, sounding just as desperate as she thought she would and not giving a single fuck.

“Please what?” He snaps his hips against her just a bit harder with each thrust.

She gasps again before biting her lip to hold back a moan, “finish in my mouth?” She begs once more, “please?”

He pulls off of her and yanks her off the table, turning her around, she drops to her knees without being told and opens her mouth immediately. He grips her by her hair and guides her towards his cock, slipping it past her lips and right down her throat.

He groans at the feeling, she closes her eyes for a moment to enjoy the feeling of his heavy cock in her mouth. Taking him more forcefully than ever before, he’s too caught up in the moment to realize he might be a little too rough but she also doesn’t mind. Breathing through her nose to stay calm she takes him as far as she can, pressing her nose to his pubes he can feel how hot her breath is as she struggles to breathe.

“Such a good girl,” he pulls her off so she can breathe for a moment, “you want my cum so bad don’t you?”

“Yes please, daddy,” she replies with a rasp in her voice that makes it obvious where he’s been.

She takes him in her mouth once more, sucking earnestly to get him closer and closer to the edge. He’s whining, pulling her hair and doing everything in his power not to thrust against her face, even though she’s okay with it.

She knows when he’s close because his cock always twitches in the same spot, it’s a tell-tale sign that he’s going to cum in a second. She applies more suction, running her tongue along the underside before taking him all the way once more just in time for him to cum right down her throat with each swallow.

He’s not quiet, anyone walking past the door will hear him panting and gasping, muttering good girl under his breath, he’s more fucked out by this blow job than she’s ever made him before. She can’t help but smirk as he pulls away and leaves her there on her knees, covered in spit and drool and unable to wipe her own mouth due to the fact she’s still fucking handcuffed.

She rests against his shoe, pressing the vibrator against her clit a little more, she twitches at how good it feels but it’s still not enough to get her off, and a part of her doesn’t want to.

He pulls her up to her feet and sits her down on the table he was just pretending to fuck her against. He attempts to spread her legs and get between them but she stops him, “leave the vibe where it is and let’s just go home?”

“You want to walk out of this building with a vibrator in your panties, and say goodbye to my co-workers and friends knowing you could cum anytime?”

She smirks, “yes, but I won't cum cause this pathetic toy isn’t as good at you.”

He clicks the button to turn it up a speed and she gasps, pushing against the feeling and moaning into it, “I’d like to see you try that.”

—

He takes her on the rest of the “tour” with that vibrator in her panties, she’s getting more and more flustered the more they look around. Eventually, he shows her the library, getting her alone in the back corner where he can talk to her without the risk of people knowing what’s going on.

“I can’t,” she whines as he presses her against the shelves, “please?”

“Please what?”

“Turn it off, daddy, I can’t take it anymore,” she grips his suit jacket tightly as she looks up at him with the eyes he can’t say no to.

“Mmm,” he hums, reaching into her pants to free her from the stimulation, she relaxes finally. “What do you think you deserve now?”

“Don’t wanna cum till we’re at home,” she whispers, “but you’ll have to make it quick because we have a flight to catch at 8.”

“Fuck,” he whispers like he forgot. “I hope we can get back into the apartment in time.”

“Why?”

“The bomb was in the basement of the building beside yours,” he admits and the whole facade fades, “that’s why I’m not taking you home yet.”

“That’s why you wanted to fuck me,” she whispers with a giggle. “You could have at least told me this was a ‘you almost died’ rush for you.”

“I didn’t want to say it like that,” he admits and a depression washes through his blood, he feels the low settle as he drops, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she takes his face in her hands and makes him look her in the eyes, “I love you, I’m glad we’re both safe. Everything in there is replaceable, you and me aren’t. This is a really good thing, Spencer.”

He nods, doing what she’s told him so many times she wants him to do, telling her his thoughts so that he’s no longer haunted alone, “when I told my friend Derek about you, he said dating a younger woman means I’ll never have to worry about you dying of old age before me. That’s one of his fears being the same age as Savannah, but I’ve lost so many people I never even thought about getting old with you I’ve just wanted to keep this version of you safe and with me forever.”

“Penelope said she always wished you’d find someone like me, and my only thought was If I live to be 100, I hope you live to be 116 because there isn’t a day I want to spend on this earth where Spencer Reid isn’t alive and beside me,” he whispers with a smile, “but now I’m thinking if you live to be 100, I don’t want to go past 84.”

“You can’t say that,” he whispers, tears bubbling in his eyes, “what if I die tomorrow? I need to know you’re going to be fine and not end your wonderful existence because I’m not here anymore. You’re too wonderful to put all your worth on me.”

She doesn’t want to cry, she already looks like she’s been fucked and now she’s a mess, she pulls him into a kiss so he’ll stop talking and they can just be together, it was hard enough for her thinking he was going to die eventually, let alone him hypothesizing dying tomorrow.

She rests her forehead against his, “we always do this.”

“What?”

“It’s like orgasms open the emotions or something,” she snuffles which turns into a laugh, “do you think our kids are going to find it weird that you’re so much older than me?”

Everything takes him for a loop, “uh,” he struggles to find the words, pulling back and looking at her as her face drops, “I um—

“You don’t want kids anymore?” She looks genuinely saddened and he doesn’t know how to answer.

“I do,” he nods, “just—“

“Not with me?” She puts the words in his mouth.

“With you, just not yet,” he holds her by the shoulders, “I need more time with you before we have a kid, I need to love life and be in a good place and somewhere where I can focus all my attention on them, and I can’t yet.”

“I want a baby by 30,” she whispers before pressing her lips together awkwardly, “46 isn’t too old to be a dad, I’ve seen men become fathers at 80.”

He laughs as the anxiety leaves him, “a little California surfer baby wouldn’t be too bad.”

“Well, we fuck like rabbits, we might get there sooner than you planned,” she nudges him, “you’re a wonderful boyfriend, and if you don’t mind, I’d like for you to stay my boyfriend for a little longer? I’m not ready to be a wife or a mom and change my name when I just got it put on a published book.”

“I’ll change mine to yours,” he replies like it's nothing, “or keep yours and we’ll hyphenate the kid's names.”

“It’s plural now?” She teases him once more.

“Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you,” he assures her, “forever.”

“You’d pluck a star from the sky for me wouldn’t you, Doctor Y/L/N?”

He laughs at how it sounds but he kinda likes it. Her word choice is even funnier to him, however, because he’s actually gone out of his way to pluck a star for her. She has no idea, but her last present is a big one.

She struggled to get her own name on a book for so long, now there’s a star named after her, in the sky for everyone to see for the rest of time.

Permanent tag list:

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Sugar daddy fic

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#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #mdm

[aliasimagines]

It Was You All Along // Dave Lizewski

requested by a lovely anon 💕

Can u write dave x fem!reader where reader Always had a crush on him but he kinda ignored reader bc of Katie but then someone popular asks reader out and he gets jealous and y/n dresses up super hot and he realizes he fucked up

word count: 1809

a/n: i hope this is close enough! ❤️ (i couldn't think of a different title but this one reminds me of Agatha All Along xd)

"Hey, Dave! My folks are gone for the weekend and I thought we could have an X-men watch party. Wanna come?" 

"Sorry I can't, I'm hanging out with Katie." 

"Again?" you ask a bit louder than intended,causing a few people to look at you in the hallway. You continue with a lower voice "Aren't you like, tired of all the lying? Like, what if she finds out that you're not actually gay, hm? Cause you know she will, eventually." 

"Why do you care so much?!" Dave says, clearly frustrated. 

You raise an eyebrow. 

"Oh why would I? Maybe because we have been best friends since diapers, you stupid asshole!" you say not caring if some students hear you or not, anymore. "But you know what, you are right. I shouldn't care. Go play pretend with Katie but don't come to me, crying when you end up getting your heart broken." 

"Don't worry, I won't." he snaps back. And you turn around and leave but not before flipping him off. You felt the angry tears rolling down your cheeks as you zigzagged between the chattering teenagers. 

You couldn’t  believe how Dave could be so blind! He only had eyes for Miss Perfect. Whom by the way, is a real bitch and would go back to ignoring Dave or calling him a freak if it wasn’t for his little gay act. 

Somehow you made your way over to the restroom and locked yourself into one of the booths.

Dave couldn’t even see you as a potential “love-interest”. Eventhough you were the one who always were there for him, you were always there when he called, running to him like a lost puppy. And he couldn’t even care less. And you hate him for it. But you hate yourself more for still liking him. 

It’s not like you can do something about it, if you could, you would have. But that’s not how it works, so you are just crying your guts out on the toilet trying not to think about Dave.

In all honesty, you have no idea how you made it through the day. You almost cried during biology but you caught yourself after a few lonely tears. You could feel Dave’s gaze on you but there was no way you would look at him. As soon as the last bell rang you were out of school, hurring past Tod and Marty, not being in the mood for them either.

The next day wasn’t any different, you didn’t hang with Dave, Tod and Marty like you normally do. You didn’t sit with them at lunch, instead walked over to the only empty table you saw and placed your tray there. You mounched on your food, completely unaware of your surroundings until you hear the chair next to you being pulled out. You look up to see Matthew Greendale, resident hottie of the school sit next to you. 

"Hey, sorry, it's not a problem if I sit here, right?" he asks. You eyed him suspiciously. 

"No, it's fine." 

It's fine?! You mentally scold yourself. You never even spoke to this guy, outside of literature in first year. Why would he sit next to you? 

"I didn't want to sit with all the other "popular jocks" he answered you unspoken question while taking a bite of his canteen-hamburger. “They’re fun and everything but it’s nice to get away from them sometimes.”

You think of your friends who are sitting a few tables away and you can’t help but agree with Matthew.

“Yeah, I feel you.” you say without thinking.

“Hey..We used to sit next to each other in freshman year, didn’t we? It’s y/n ,right?” 

You nod with a smile, honestly being surprised that he remembers you.

“Yeah!”

“I haven’t really seen you around a lot. But when I do you are always hanging with those comic book nerds.”

“Hey! Comics are great.”

He puts his hands up in a defense.

“Oh no! I didn’t mean it as an insult. Some comics are good, my little brother made read one last month. It was actually great.”

“What comic was it?”

“Oh, uhm..It was about some kind of blind dude in a devil costume.”

“Daredevil?” you ask with a giggle.

“Yes, that one!” he laughs too.

The two of you continue talking until the end of lunch break. He is surprisingly fun to talk to and he even offers to walk you to your next class after lunch. You had such a good time you didn’t even think about Dave, heck, you didn’t even notice him literally glaring daggers into Matthew.

“What’s up with you, dude?” Tod asks snapping Dave out of it. 

“Yeah, Dave. What the shit is going on with you and Y/N?” Marty asks too.

Dave forrows is eyebrows. Yes, what the shit is going on with the two of you? Every since yesterday's 'fight' with you he can't stop thinking. About how he spends most, if not all of his time either with being Kick-Ass or, rather with Katie. It used to be different. He spent every second with you and he just threw you away so he could maybe get laid. And sure, Katie may be hot as fuck but she is.. Well, she is not you. 

"We had a fight, yesterday. I.. And she was right." he explains with a grimace. "But why the fuck is that Greendale asshole is with her?" 

"You jealous or something, dude?" 

"Wha- Of course I am not jealous! Why would I be? You guys are nuts." 

Jealous… The word rolled around in his mouth like a new flavored milkshake he never tasted before. 

Could he be… Jealous? He never thought of you that way, you were always his best friend. Just that. But.. The more he thinks about it the more he can't stop that twist like feeling in his stomach. 

That night he can't focus on crime fighting. All his thoughts are tied to you. Whether he likes it or not, memories of you keep popping up in his mind. How didn't he notice your beautiful smile before? And your laugh? It's like a beautiful melody. And… Gosh! When did he become such a sappy teenager? Oh and another thing.. He kept trying to think of something else, anything else like Katie for example but he doesn't care anymore! 

Dave goes home early with a frustrated growl. The remaining hours of the night he spends with tossing and turning and daydreaming instead of sleeping. 

(the next afternoon, Atomic Comics) 

Dave bangs his head against the wood table once again. A tired groan leaves his lips when he hears Tod almost choking on his iced coffee. 

"What the tunk, Tod?" Marty and Dave ask almost at the same time. The dirty blonde haired boy keeps pointing outside the huge window that they are sitting next to at Atomic Comics. 

"Is that fucking y/n?!" 

Now all three of them look outside the shop and see you, all dressed up nad seemingly waiting for someone. 

"Holy fuck!" Dave whispers. He stares at you, with his mouth a gap before jumping up from the booth they were sitting at and rushing outside the store. 

"Y/n! Y/-" he yells almost tripping on thin air. 

"Dave?" you question, quickly turning towards him. Damn, you missed him. No! Yeah, you did… "What do you want?" 

"What do I- What, can't I talk to you?" 

"If you wanted to talk you would have in these past days!" you say. Yes, you might have missed him, but it's not like you're gonna show it. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I am waiting for my date to show up." 

"Your.. Your what, now?!" 

"My date" 

"You can't go on a date!" 

"And why is that, Lizewski?" 

"Lizewski? Really, you're calling me by my surname? Are we in such a bad place right now?" 

"I don't know, you tell me. Are you going to tell me what i can and can't do, hm?" 

"I didn't mean it like that. I just…" 

"What, it's fine when you say it but when I do it with you about Katie I'm the bad friend?" 

"No,it's just-" 

"Sorry. Matt's here." you point to the street across the road where you saw the boy walk towards you. "I gotta go." 

You start walking away but Dave grabs your wrist. 

"Please, don't." he mumbles. 

"Why not?" you snap at him but your expressions soften upon your eyes land on his saddened face. 

"I- because I don't want you with him. O-or anyone." 

You raise an eyebrow. 

"What?" 

He took a deep breath before looking around. Matt was waiting patiently by the traffic light so he could cross the road. Dave quickly began explaining. 

"You were right. About Katie. I was such a dickhead, I am so sorry, y/n. I am sorry for ignoring you over her and and.." from the corner of his eye he sees the traffic light turn green. "Shit! I don't want you to go out with Greendale cause I.. Because I like you. Like really fucking like you. And oh my god you look so fucking hot in this outfit, not that you're not always hot but holy shit. I know we are just friends and you don't think of me that way but I ju-"

"Oh my god! Do you ever shut up?" you yell before pressing your lips to his. Dave stumbled back a little, but quickly recovered and kissed back. Your hands cupped his face and his hands grabbed your waist in response. You both tilled your heads, deepening the kiss earning loud knocking from Marty and Tod as they watched the whole scene through the window. Not that you noticed any of it. You didn't hear the passing by car honk at you nor the yells or whistles. You also did not notice Matthew walking away with a sad smile after seeing the two of you. Your touches intertwine and you're pretty sure you heard Dave moan slightly which causes you to giggle into the kiss. You both pull away gasping for air. You look down at your shoes, hoping to hide your flushed cheeks. Dave scratches his back and looks around nervously only to see his two idiotic friends making kissy faces. He lifts his middle finger for them before clearing his throat. 

"So.. Khm.. I guess you like me too?" 

You let out a soft chuckle.

"Yeah, I do." you say looking at him with a smile.

"That's.. Fuck. That's great." he replied genuinely happy. "Wanna get out of here?" 

You nod and you take off. You take Dave's hand and he intertwines your fingers with a smile. Maybe he is truly a superhero. He helps people and he gets the girl of his dreams. The happy ending. 

Dave Lizewski taglist : @sethcohenluvr @your-hispanichufflepuff

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