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superhero--imagines · 3 years

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Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here!

Etsy Store Here l Ko-Fi l Commission Info I Instagram I Zine

A/N: This is the last part to The miscommunication series, I hope you guys enjoy it ;) Also peep the last link to ‘Zine’ and stay tuned

This is weird.

You look up from your textbook at the scrawny boy across from you. The circles under his eyes look especially dark as the blue light from his tablet shines on his face.

Yeah, this situation is super weird.

You’re ashamed to admit it, but you’ve been avoiding Dick a little bit lately.

You’re still pleasant to him in class, and you see him at the study group sessions, but you don’t try to make the effort to see him in situations where it’s just the two of you.

You’re just not ready to see him with all these feelings brewing inside you.

So the last thing you wanted was to run into his little brother, especially when you purposefully went to another coffee shop across town just so you wouldn’t run into Dick.

Still, you’re surprised Tim chose to sit with you after ordering 4 shots of espresso over ice.

“The ice makes it cold so you can’t taste how bitter it is” he had told you when you looked at his drink with a skeptical expression.

Well, it’s not a problem, you think taking a sip of your chai tea. Tim seems like a quiet person, he’s only said a handful of words to you so far, he probably won’t even bring up -

“So are you and Dick fighting?” Tim asks without looking up and you choke on your tea.

“So you are fighting” he hums as his gaze trails from his tablet to you. He figured Dick was being paranoid, honestly, even Tim thought following you to the coffee shop and pretending that he just ran into you was overkill.

Man, he figured you were just in the middle of some misunderstanding. He’s usually right about these things. Tim’s not going to lie, it stings to know Dick was on the nose about this one.

“It’s not that we’re fighting,” because you both really aren’t, there’s only going to be a fight if he finds out how you feel and how uncomfortable your new feelings make him considering he already has someone he loves.

“I just don’t want to get between him-“

“And Nightwing?” Tim supplies for you and your eyes widen.

“You know?” Tim nods in response.

You think Tim is saying he knows his brother and Nightwing are dating.

Tim thinks that you found out Dick got reprimanded a few weeks ago because he was spotted chatting with you on your balcony. He was able to play it off as just a normal chat but he would be risking exposing you to every villain in Gotham if they ever found out your were someone important to him.

“Maybe you are-“ Tim hums. You feel like a lightning bolt has struck your spine. So Dick does know about your feelings - or at least suspects something.

“But that’s not exactly a bad thing” Tim finishes, and you raise an eyebrow. You wait for an explanation but Tim’s already turned back to his tablet, typing away.

You look at the city, buildings springing up like trees from the concrete, their jagged edges like the crooks of a mountain. Nothing’s really changed. Not the buildings, or the skyline, not the stars in the inky black void of outer space. Not the city that never seems to sleep, the idle chatter of cars and civilians always whirring in the distance.

The only thing that has seemed to change, is you.

“That smells good, is it green tea?”

Well, one other thing has changed. You find a smile twitching onto your mouth as you hand Nightwing the mug in your hands. He’s perched on the ledge of your balcony, legs swing against the bars.

You get anxious just watching him.

“I had a feeling you’d stop by, it’s cherry blossom green tea, I think you’ll like it.” It’s a naturally sweet tea, so he should find it suits his taste considering he seems to share the same disposition for sweet things as his boyfriend.

You know that encounter with Tim this morning was weird, but the fact that you’ve kind of become late-night tea and chat buddies with your love rival is even weirder.

Looks like you can’t even make friends in a normal way.

“You’re a lifesaver,” he grins taking a sip of the hot beverage with a satisfied smile. The hum he lets out afterward sends shivers down your spine. Geez, no wonders Dick has it so bad for him.

You wonder what kind of noises he makes when they’re together-

Nope. Nope. No. Nope. No.

That was too far, your imagination really needs to get a grip.

“So how are things with you and that guy you love?” You flinch at the mention, choosing to take an unusually long sip of tea right then.

“That good huh?” Nightwing snorts, and you sigh. You’re not going to tell him about the cryptic conversation you had with Tim, especially considering the fact that he doesn’t seem to support their relationship.

Dick feels a little frustrated, as he watches you avoid his eyes. The whole thing seems off like there’s something missing. So you don’t want to be seen with Dick Grayson, but you don’t mind midnight tea talk with Nightwing- and you tell Tim how you don’t want to get in between him and his superhero persona- and then you wave him over when you see he’s a rooftop over-

It just doesn’t make any sense.

And worst of all-you look so pretty standing there, even with that sad look on your face.

“Well you know what they say-“ you let out a dry laugh, “to get over someone, you have to get under someone else”

It’s just a joke - a bad joke, you’re helping it’ll ease the tension. You figure Nightwing will make a dumb joke or pun back, and this whole thing can be behind you when he says-

“Get under me then” you’re so taken aback but what he’s said you’re sure he must have heard wrong. But when you look away from the green tea in your mug to his face, that chiseled face is only a few inches away from your own.

Before you can open your mouth to ask what he’s doing so close to you, his lips are pressed over your own. His gloved fingers ghosting over your cheek, holding it so tenderly that the action sends shivers down your spine.

Dick pulls away, fingers retreating to his domino mask, he doesn’t want to confess to you as Nightwing he wants to do it as Dick-

When you slap him.

This has seriously been the worst day. Dick sighs as he turns the water faucet to his shower off, grabbing his towel from the rack.

First, he forgets his cell phone at home on a Monday afternoon, so he’s got nothing to do to pass the time while he patrols.

Then the girl he likes slaps him before running back into her apartment without another word, probably to go cry-

And finally, to make the perfect end to the perfect day Dick got caught in a spontaneous rainstorm, getting soaked to the bone on his way back home. He figured Gotham could wait for a few hours and decided to come home a little early.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if I catch a cold” he mumbles tying his robe around his waist, his hands moving the towel to dry his hair, stopping mid-motion when he hears several very urgent knocks.

Well, who could it be at this hour? He’s considering ignoring it, probably just one of his brothers wanting to use his shower, when he hears several more knocks.

“Geez Jason, the neighbors are going to complain” he hisses, as he clings open the door, fully expecting to see his younger brother drenched to the bone and creating a puddle in the middle of his apartment building's hallway.

And someone is standing in the middle of his apartment building's communal hallway, drenched to the bone and creating a puddle in the hallway. But it’s not Jason, it’s you.

He only pulls you inside his apartment, the door clicking behind you when you break down into tears.

“I-I’m so sorry! I really didn’t mean to, I should have known better but- I didn’t think it would happen” The words are jilted by your tears and your chattering teeth. Did you run all the way here? Dick wonders as he starts using his slightly damp towel to dry your hair.

“I really didn’t want it, Dick, I promise I didn’t-“ you clasp his arm now jilting his movements. In the pandemonium, he completely forgot that you were the one that slapped him just a few hours ago, and now you’re the one apologizing for something?

“What are you talking about?” he sees your gulp hard, your eyes averted like a dog that realizes he’s accidentally snapped at his owner. And then, with clenched eyes and your hands balled into fists you shout:

“Nightwing kissed me!” Yeah, he knows, he was there. Kinda weird that you’re referring to him with his superhero persona. You look at him earnestly now- clasping both of his hands in yours.

“I promise I didn’t mean to make a pass at your boyfriend or steal him away from you.”

...

Huh?

You’re babbling about how ‘You could do so much better than a guy like that Dick’ and ‘if it was me- I would never do something like that’ when the flashbulb finally goes off over his head.

Oh.

Ohhhhhhhh. You think he’s dating Nightwing. This actually explains a lot.

“Here come with me” he grabs onto your numb wrist before you can answer, tugging you towards his bedroom. Your eyes staring into his robe-covered back.

Oh no, you can’t believe you didn’t realize it before.

Nightwing’s here isn’t he? That would answer why he hasn’t answered any of the texts you’ve sent him. Who would when they were busy having a romantic liaison with their lover. And obviously, he spun some different story for Dick, probably that you kissed him. And now you’re going to have to confront them both and pray that Dick believes you-

Only to your surprise, the bedroom is empty, and Dick’s fiddling around with something in his rather large wardrobe. Before you can ask what he’s doing he pulls out a suit-

It almost looks like a wet suit, with accents of blue amongst the sleek black- so he surfs? Is he showing off right now?

But then your eyes land on the bright blue symbol smack dab in the middle of the chest.

So Nightwing was here, and he did spin another story! You’re mentally preparing your best argument when you look into Dick’s baby blue eyes stare into your own, softening as they gaze warmly at you.

“(Y/N), I’m Nightwing”

...

(Y/N).exe is broken

Dick watches you gulp hard. Then he watches you slide past him, each step pronounced with a squeak, and step into his wardrobe before closing it from the inside.

“(Y/N)!”

“(Y/N)’s dead, so she can’t come to the phone anymore” Dick can practically feel the embarrassment radiate through the wardrobe door, and in spite of the situation, Dick laughs. He laughs so hard you actually swing open the door, crouched at the bottom of his wardrobe.

“It’s not funny Dick! Do you know how worried I was about you! I thought Bruce Wayne was homophobic and that you were leading some double life!” Dick only laughs harder at that. To be fair, he is leading a double life, just not the one you imagined he was.

“Well you’re not totally wrong,” he says between chuckles, sitting on the ground outside your wardrobe next to you. “I like guys and girls, but Bruce had it figured out before I even did,” he says with a shrug, mouth quirked up into a grin. His cheeks hold a rosy tinge, but somehow his red cheek is even brighter-

Ah, that’s the cheek you slapped.

Without thinking you reach out to him, your thumb caressing the swollen flesh. Dick doesn’t flinch away, relaxing into your touch.

“Sorry about that, I thought your boyfriend was cheating on you,” you say with a sheepish smile. Dick grins even wider.

“Would the response have been the same if you knew it was me?” There’s a hopeful glint in his eyes and you feel your heartbeat stutter.

Is he stupid?

If you knew it was Dick if you knew it was the boy you loved sitting on your balcony railing drinking tea with you all those times-

“Of course I wouldn’t have”

And Dick doesn’t wait another moment, leaning forward to catch your lips in his own.

This time you don’t slap him. Instead, you place both hands on his face and pull him in closer.

BONUS:

“So you’re Nightwing-“ you say, sitting cross-legged across from Dick in a marching bathrobe in his bed. He insisted you shower, he didn’t want you getting sick. You thought he was going to combust with how red he turned when you jokingly asked if he wanted to join you.

“And your Dad, Bruce, he’s Batman”

“That’s right” Dick nods.

“And you’re brothers, they’re the Red Hood, Robin, and Red Robin... respectively,”

Dick nods again.

“And Stephanie and Cass, they’re a part of this too, They’re both Batgirl” Dick nods, he tries to get some eye contact, but you’re firmly starting down at your hands.

“And your ex, Barbara Gordon, Commissioner Gordon’s daughter- she’s the original Batgirl.”

This must be pretty overwhelming, he had never realized what a robust mantle their extended family collectively carried. He’s about to offer you some comfort when your head snaps up-

“Do you think if I got all of them to autograph my textbook I could sell it and buy a new one”

Dick starts laughing.

“Seriously, there’s no one like you in the world”

#batman imagine #dc comics imagine #dick grayson x y/n #dick grayson imagines #dick grayson x reader #nightwing x reader #nightwing headcanon #nightwing imagine #nightwing fanfiction #superhero—imagines #dick miscommunication series

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sohotthateveryonedied · 4 years

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My ideal YJ season 4, because SOMEONE can’t follow directions and stop making unnecessary time skips that no one wants

(This is written with enough salt to fill the fucking Pacific, I swear.)

First off, no time skips!!! Why, you ask? Because we don’t fucking need one, that’s why. I didn’t turn on Young Justice because I was hoping it would be about a bunch of thirty-year-old has-beens who aren’t even in the superhero game anymore because they can’t throw a punch without shattering their hip. For every year that this show skips, my patience thins just a little bit more.

HOWEVER!!! The introduction of the Legion of Superheroes means we’ll be getting some time travel shit, right?? Some good ol’ time fuckery?? Some timeline shenanigans?? Then how about we get some flashbacks between the past and the future?? Pretty please??? There is no better opportunity to bring back all of the phantoms (literal AND figurative) of the Team’s past than to do it in a season that is LITERALLY titled “Phantoms.” Show us big milestones from the five years between seasons one and two like Dick becoming Nightwing, Wally and Artemis quitting, when all of the freshmen joined up, etc. Have the season center on linked conflicts between the past, present, and future because this is seriously the PERFECT season to do that! Connect Jason’s death to his resurrection! Connect Wally and Artemis quitting the hero gig to Wally’s triumphant return! The possibilities are limitless! And if the writers don’t take this golden opportunity for whatever reason, then guess what!! They’re dumbasses who just missed a huge opportunity that we’ll probably never get again!!!

(Also, let me just say real quick that if Artemis is in a relationship when the season begins, I’m gonna lose my fucking mind. This is an opinion thing so you don’t have to agree, but if she is dating someone to try and “fill the void” after Wally which leads to a whole love triangle thing when he comes back, I will break things. Buildings will fall. Trees will be uprooted and yeeted across nations like goddamn Paul Bunyan. Don’t fucking do it.)

This one goes without saying by now, but Wally West is going to come back. That’s happening. That’s gonna be a thing. I’m almost positive about it, unless of course all of the hints at his return in season 3 were just Voltron-level baiting, which is highly probable at this point. Still, I’m sticking with my faith that Wally will be back before the season ends. Have him be stuck in the Speed Force. Have him be stuck in the Phantom Zone. I don’t care where he comes from, just bring him back home and reunite him with his friends and family, please. Maybe then I can finally rest. (Bonus points if he’s got boosted speed and/or a red and silver Rebirth-style suit!)

Bring in Inertia, AKA Bart’s clone Thad!! I know I had a super good reason for this when @damthosefandoms and I talked about it weeks ago, but I honestly forgot all of it. Regardless, I think it’s an excellent idea because Bart deserves the screen time, PLUS he’s already our resident time traveler so why not give him some spotlight in a season all about time travel? And while you’re at it, introduce a wonderfully crafted character who could make the season SO much more interesting, whether he takes Bart’s place in an echo of the mole plot from season one or just as a wild antagonist who is ACTUALLY a teenager like the rest of them. (Looking at you, Lex Luthor and Deathstroke and all of you bad guys who already have gray hair and aren’t remotely interesting anymore.) (Okay, that last part was a lie because they are pretty interesting, but still. Give us some younger villains.)

Also I would really like Bart and Ed to be official because. I mean, did you see their interactions in season four?? The whole “Virgil being a seventh wheel which implies that Bart and Ed are a couple” thing?? Come on, man.

The Phantom Zone!! It’s a thing!!! Use it!!!

This one is more wishful thinking than anything, but I would really dig a huge final battle on Apokolips in the season finale. As wild and shocking as the season three finale was, I was expecting a cool battle sequence between those who were under the influence of the anti-life equation and those who weren’t that never happened, which made the ending seem a bit...empty. What better setup for a battle sequence than the entire Justice League, Team, Outsiders, and Legion fighting together against Darkseid and his minions? It would be incredible.

JASON TODD!!! OUR FAVORITE PHANTOM WHO IS ALREADY REVEALED TO BE ALIVE!!! In my ideal “Under the Red Hood” arc, they would give us a ton of flashbacks (see??? it fits in perfectly with what I said earlier about bouncing between the past and future!!) to Jason’s death which probably happened during a Team mission instead of with Batman and Joker since it’s a Young Justice-centric show and all. Then we get to see the Red Hood operating with the Light as their secret weapon or maybe even their new enforcer until, after a whole season of watching the Batfam struggle to bring their wayward son and brother home, he switches sides and fights alongside them in the final battle. Fucking splendid you funky vigilante.

Additionally, a Red Hood arc gives perfect reasoning for some Batfamily content! Let us know what Cass is like and how she joined up as Orphan before season three. And while you’re at it, let Tim get some spotlight too?? Please?? Maybe even give us some Tim/Stephanie content because the writers wouldn’t drag out a whole boring breaking-up-but-not-really-because-nothing-actually-happens-there-and-they-get-barely-any-screen-time thing for Tim and Cassie if it wasn’t for a good reason. They could show Barbara training Steph to take over as Batgirl, or at the very least have her last scene in the season be of Steph opening a present from Barbara that turns out to be a purple suit with a bat symbol on the chest. It would be spectacular.

And lastly, this one isn’t really relevant even though it is, but. I am more than okay with Damian Wayne not being present in this season. It’s not that I don’t love him, which I do. But the kid was an infant last we saw him, and the only way he could become Robin anytime soon is if Dick were like thirty and I’m Not Here For That. Save Damian for future seasons when you actually need new characters, rather than cramming in a million easter eggs for no reason when you already have a perfectly good main cast right there.

Seriously, Grandon. I’m fucking begging you here.

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365days365movies · 3 years

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March 16, 2021: Legend (1985) (Part One)

Hi, Tim Curry. How are you doing today?

Yeah, that tracks. Been a while, always good to see you. Man, actually, when is the last time I saw you? Clone Wars? I think so, although I don’t know if that really counts. I think, in person, it was...oof, Criminal Minds in 2012?

Yeah, dude, you were FUCKING TERRIFYING, HOLY SHIT. I feel like people don’t talk about that performance as much, but you were goddamn amazing, buddy. Sorry I didn’t open with this, but...you were my childhood, Ti. Like, from Clue to The Wild Thornberrys to Muppet Treasure Goddamn Island GOD I LOVE YOU IN THAT MOVIE TOO

Amazing. And let’s not forget Ferngully, of course. Look...I love you, OK? You’re beautiful. And I know that recently, you’ve been through a lot of health struggles, and I wish you the absolute best, I sincerely do. You’re the best, man. Hang in there.

Actually, while I have you...settle a bet for me, I’ve got it with myself. Have I...have I already seen this movie? Because I feel like I might have, but I don’t think so. It’s like the Mandela effect, y’know? I mean, if I’d seen it before...would I not remember you in this get-up?

I mean...come ON, RIGHT? I know FOR A FACT that I’ve attempted to watch this movie with friends before, and that didn’t happen. Then, I tried to watch it on my own, and that didn’t pan out because I’m pretty sure I fell asleep after 15 minutes. It had been a long day, I’m sorry. But...I don’t get it, Tim Curry? What the hell happened?

Well...whatever. I guess we’re going to take care of this ONCE AND FOR ALL. Now, who directed this movie?

Oh shit, REALLY? RIDLEY SCOTT! Kick-ass, he did Alien, and this -

And then this -

OOH, and this!

Oh, and we can’t forget this!

And also this!

And...and this...

...And this...

Oh. Fuck, and this.

...

OH GOD STOP I FORGOT ABOUT 1492

...OK, this could either be a very good movie, or a very VERY bad one. I mean...it’s got Tim Curry in it, so it can’t be that bad? And hey, Scott was on a hotstreak at the time, right? What could go wrong? Let’s do this!

SPOILERS AHEADOH FUCK IS THAT TOM CRUISE

Recap (1/2)

...Ahem. Um. OK. Maybe I imagined that image, or it’s from a different movie. Cool. Let’s keep going, nothing to see here.

The opening text scroll tells us that once, long ago, before time was even a concept, the world was shrouded in darkness. But Darkness hid from the light, which brought to the world laughter, love, and...unicorns. Yeah, really. Unicorns harbor the Light in their souls, as the most mytsical of all creatures. They’re safe from Darkness, and can only be found by a pure-hearted mortal, like Jack, a denizen of the forest. He is loved by Lily, and both believe only in goodness. But not for long, as a struggle for the balance between Darkness and Light is about to commence, and in that struggle will be born...Legend (1985), dir. Ridley Scott.

As the opening credits roll and confirm that Tom Cruise is in fact in this movie, I take a brief moment to vomit lightly.

At night, walking through the forest, there is a creature with some...bad-ass makeup and costume design GODDAMN. Like, yeah, that category’s already looking good. Anyway, the creature goes through the forest, and finds a den of fire and torture, all lorded over by a horned man, who speaks Mother Night, asking for her protection.

This is Darkness (Tim Curry), and...fuck me, holy shit, I GET it. Like, this dude began an entire movement and aethestic, and it makes a fuckton of sense. THis dude must have given birth to, like 10,000 goth children, goddamn. Anyway, he commands his goblin henchman Blix (Alice Playten) to find a unicorn and kill it, and to bring its horn back to him. Blix, the rhyming cretin, asks how to find them. And Darkness answers with the perfect lure: innocence.

That innocence is symbolized by Princess Lily (Mia Sara), a maiden cavorting happily about the wood, without a care in the goddamn world. She visits her friend Nell (Tina Martin), and briefly has a vision of winter in the cottage. Nell notes that it’s time for her to grow up a bit, but Lily’s only concerned with finding her sweetheart, Jack.

And Jack is...well, Jack o’ the Green (Tom Cruise) is a young man who lives in the forest, with his animal friends. An innocent himself, he’s basically Peter Pan, with Lily playing his Wendy. Except, well, they’re not THAT innocent, because they, like, IMMEDIATELY make out on the forest floor. Which has to be uncomfortable, real goddamn talk.

Jack teaches Lily to speak with the birds, then takes her to see something wonderful and rare. All the while, they’re being followed by Blix, who believes that their innocence will attract the mystical unicorns. And, uh, yeah, Blix is entirely correct about that, because here they come! And they’re making whale noises?

Apparently, as long as unicorns roam the Earth, evil can never harm the pure of heart. They express only love and laughter, and dark thoughts are unknown to them. Which Lily takes as an opportunity to go hang out with them, despite Jack’s urgings.

But the unicorns seem receptive to her, to Jack’s...frustration? He just kinda leaves her behind for some reason. And Blix takes the opportunity to hit one of the unicorns with a poison dart, causing them to be startled and storm off. Lily flees into the forest, and is immediately scolded by Jack, saying that what she did is forbidden by magic forest law. OK. She’s as confused about that as I am, but she still apologizes to him.

The two kiss, and Lily makes a promise to him and the universe, I guess, and says that whomever finds her ring will have the right to marry her. She throws it, and Jack IMMEDIATELY JUMPS OFF A CLIFF AFTER IT GODDAMN MY MAN! Lily screams hysterically after him for...some reason?

However, this isn’t great timing, because Blix and the goblins have caught up to the poisoned unicorn, and they cut off its horn, immediately plunging the forest into a fierce winter, similar to what Lily saw in her vision. Jack, in the river looking for the ring, is trapped underwater, beneath ice. By the time he breaks out, Lily’s already run away, to Nell’s place. Nell is frozen solid for some reason, and the goblins are also coming off after Lily for...some reason.

Lily hides, as Blix and his two companions Pox (Peter O’Farrell) and Blunder (Kiran Shah) exposit the whole thing so that Lily’s caught up on her fault in all of this, and once they leave, she promises to make it right. No idea how she’s gonna do that, but sure.

Jack, meanwhile has collapsed in the woods and snow. He’s woken up by a spirit of the forest named Honeythorn Gump (David Bennent), who is...interesting. He asks Jack what in the FUCK happened, and Jack admits that Lily, a mortal, touched a unicorn, which is apparently the ultimate no-no. Gump’s pissed, but the ACTUAL SECOND that Jack says that it was for love, Gump’s just...totally cool with it? They have a drink with Brown Tom (Cork Hubbert), and agree to help him find Lily...like, immediately.

They quickly find the dead unicorn, and yeah, the unicorn is FUCKING DEAD after losing its horn, and its mate shows up to mourn. Jack and Gump mourn with the magical creature, which looks REALLY BIG for a horse, Jesus. She stays with her fallen mate, and Jack goes back to the group, delivering the news that they’re cursed? No idea where that came from.

To lift the curse and get the horn back, they must find a champion bold in heart and spirit. Gump IMMEDIATELY nominates Jack, and takes him to some cave where he can find weapons and armor. He’s guided by Oona (Annabelle Lanyon), a fairy who is LITERALLY NAVI FROM ZELDA, I CANNOT STRESS THAT ENOUGH

Oona reveals her true form to him secretly, then notes that she could be anything he wants her to be, even his heart’s desire. COMIN’ ON A LITTLE STRONG THERE OONA. Anyway, in the vault of golden weapons and armor and...gold, Jack grabs a sword.

Meanwhile, Lily follows Blix and his group, where Blix uses the magic of the Unicorn Horn (or the Alicorn) to demonstrate his newly found prowess. But as he’s claiming to take over Darkness’ kingdom. Just then, Darkness shows up and claims the Horn for himself, and kills Blunder when he talks back. Darkness asks whether or not the Unicorns are both dead, and reveals that his power will not be complete until the female Unicorn is also dead.

Lily runs off and makes her way back to the Unicorn and Brown Tom, and warns them of the Goblin’s approach to kill the Mare. Brown Tom, who I think is either a leprechaun or a brownie, fends the Goblins off, while Lily and the Mare...DON’T RUN? FUCKING RUN YOU ASSHOLES!

Tom gets shot by an arrow...in the hat. He immediately falls dead, despite being totally fine, the dick. And Lily and the mare are captured, BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T FUCKING RUN WHEN THEY SHOULD’VE. Jack, Gump, and the leprechaun/gnome/brownie/halfling Screwball (Billy Barty) come to “rescue” him. He tells them that Lily’s alive, and Gump takes Jack to the Great Tree for the next step, accompanied by Screwball and Tom. There, they find...

WOW. THAT SHIT IS COOL. This is Meg Mucklebone *Robert Picardo), and this thing is absolutely my favorite thing in the movie so far...AND THEN JACK KILLS HER IMMEDIATELY. JAAAAAAACK, WHAT THE HELL, she was really cool. Goddamn it.

The group gets to the great tree, then falls into an underground prison, where Blunder is also held. The group is NOT where they want to be, right in Darkness’ lair. Nice job, Gump. In the prison, the guys, now joined by fellow brownie/dwarf/gnome thing Blunder, hide from one of Darkness’ men, as he takes Blunder away to the torture table.

Stuck in the cell, Jack suggests that Oona go and get the keys. However, her ability to transform into a humanoid form was a secret between her and Jack, and she’s upset by him revealing it. Gump’s also upset by the secret in and of itself, but she defends that her secrets are hers to keep. You tell him, Oona!

She then says that she’ll only do what Jack wants if he kisses her, GODDAMN IT OONA. NOW IS NOT THE TIE TO GO ALL TINKERBELL IN HOOK! He gives her a little peck, but she transforms into Lily to make him give her a real kiss, dear lord that is CREEPY, OONA! Jack almost kisses her, but refuses at the last second. He notes that human hearts can’t be won over that way, which greatly upsets Oona. Still, she ends up getting the keys for them regardless, and sets them free.

And at this point, we are halfway through, so FUCK IT. PART TWO! See you there.

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mxrstar · 4 years

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hey do you ever love a fic so much you want to draw fanart for it? but you are not very good at drawing so you decide to try out collage for the first time in your life? well, let’s just say that i quite liked the last published chapter of @gerrydelano‘s fic

[ID: the image is a collage. the background paper is pastel blue, and towards the top right corner there is a group of birds, drawn in white. they are eating and the lines of the drawing are smudged, so that the white drags out from them in vague shades. on the top left corner, there is a single window frame; the frame is green and the glass is black. there are a series of eyes taken from various paintings glued on top of the glass. from behind the frame, comes a single butterfly’s wing, which is red yellow and white. on the bottom right corner, there is a tiny, white drawing of a person helping another on a small boat. the drawing is framed into the corner by an arch. the colors of the arch are graded from dark green to dark red. a red and yellow leaf is glued on top of the arch, and there is a tiny piece of paper glued onto the leaf. the paper says: “-G”. right in the middle of the drawing, we first can see (looking at it from the bottom to the top) a picture of some kind of body of water, upon which two boats are sailing. upon that first picture, acting as shore for the water, there is a picture of outer space. it is red, green, violet and white, and it is a bit shiny. there is an old stairway glued right in the middle of outer space. at the bottom of a stairway we can see a yellow figure (maybe a kid, with long hair and a backpack) and the top of the stairs connects to a door. the door belongs to a blue room. there is a big clock glued upon the door, and there is a drawing of a man, looking tired and facing the other way, right in the middle of the room. the top and bottom right corners of the room are framed by two colored vortex, which are incidentally two of the stars from Van Gogh’s “Starry Night”. from behind the left side of the room, comes out another butterfly wing, which perfectly mirrors the one that comes out of the window. on the right side of the paper, we can see the sentence “I’d say you have at least somewhat of a chance” spelled out in different letters. at the bottom of the paper, a white piece of paper says “two ships passing”. /end ID]

under the cut I have written an explanation of the meaning behind the,, symbols? I am not going to pretend I had super strict idea to begin with, but as I started to find things I liked on random high-school books I (un)consciously assigned them a meaning. feel free to indulge my pretentiousness and read my ramble I guess + (also under the cut) close-up pictures

okay so let me just run down a list: — the window okay, so. that’s meant to represent the background world, the things Gerry and Jon are going to have to live with whenever they step outside of their refuge. the glass is dark, because they try to protect themselves for as long as possible, but there are still various Eyes peeking in, mostly looking aggressive or extremely focused (fun fact: all of these come from paintings; i perhaps should have written down which belongs to what but i forgot) — the birds this is a reference to the ongoing “birds in jon’s stomach” metaphor. they are eating because that’s what they were drawn doing on the paper i miraculously found dsgfghk but if you want to push it you could say that they are all going “finally, some good fucking food” at Jon’s joy in meeting Gerry?? + they lines are smudged because,,,,,,, (god i am so sappy) because it gives an impression of movement? like, they are at ease but part of them is free to fly — the butterfly’s wings so, take “one dropped stone can change the way the whole ocean moves” but make it boring, and suddenly it’s the butterfly’s effect. the wings connect both to the outside world, to the window and the Eyes /and/ to the room (which I will get to later) because their meeting changes everything. it changes how they interact with the world and (at least partially) it saves them from it + it changes them as people, and gives them a space to be happy, to be with each other — the sea + outer space the sea with the two boats is quite an obvious one so i am not going to say anything about it. outer space is,,,,,,,,,, Miriam? I know she is more ocean vast that she is space vast, but I guess the contrast is nicer this way. she has been the shore to their sea, the vast, contextless freedom through which Jon and Gerry have connected, and Gerry has healed — the yellow figure in my head, that’s Gerry. i don’t know about the yellow, it came with that so i didn’t choose it and i don’t really have a meaning for it (unless you want to be really emo and decide that “Gerard just looks at him like he’s seeing the sun for the first time, and then looks away like he’s surprised by how much it hurts” is suddenly reversed in this last chapter, and Gerry is, in a way, Jon’s sudden source of light). the figure is that of a kid (I think, at least?) with a backpack. it’s Gerry as a kid, meeting Jon in that chance Miriam has made possible and relatively durable — the stairs those are a reference to the stairs in Portia’s house, but they also mark the passage of time (that’s sort of represented by the big clock on top of the door). by the time Gerry gets to the top, Miriam has left and suddenly he is in another room — the blue room + the man the blue room is where Jon is stuck now. he is facing the other way, he is adrift. the man doesn’t look like Jon but we’ll forgive that because in the original full drawing he is sitting onto a rock which is connected with some ropes to a boat. the blue room is framed by those vortexes (which are actually two starts from Van Gogh’s Starry Night) because i had made a mess with glue and i needed to cover up the corners sfgsdfg but if we want to think well and hard about this, perhaps they are the lights Jon still has but cannot, won’t see. he is not looking at either of them. wow now im sad — the door Gerry and Jon don’t meet in the universe, nor in the blue room. they meet beyond the door, in their sacred, private space. they both need to get in in order for this to work — the bottom right corner okay, in my head that’s sort of a page number. something that marks our position in the story. there’s this drawing of a man helping another on a boat (which comes from the same drawing I found the man in the blue room in!) cause, you know. it’s reunion time. the arch was originally part of a circle which was rainbow-coloured. it reminded me of that idea which I think is in the Official™ gtcmu™ lore- that thing about Jon having no specific colour, but colouring everyone else, sort of being the rainbow. it’s not obvious cause the arch isn’t a full rainbow, but I was indeed thinking about it. i guess i also wanted to somehow convey that it’s not just Gerry that is giving something to Jon. they are both sharing something meaningful with each other. Jon is still making him bright. then, there is the leaf, because this happens in Autumn, and the small “-G” which is a reference to the note Gerry leaves to Tim — “I’d say you have at least somewhat of a chance” the quote is obviously very cute and the moments in which both Gerry and Jon say it (though this is Gerry’s phrasing) are CUTE. but i chose this one because it’s superficially warm + as a standalone could mean something more. it’s simple and it’s complex. it’s “yeah im totally bi” “yeah i would indeed like to kiss you” and it’s “sometimes it feels like the entire world is against you and your life has been so so hard, but I’d say you have at least somewhat of a chance”. and this is their chance. so they take it

OKAY i made myself emotional thank you for get quite as far as you are reading this!

pictures next:

#tma #tma fic #sometimes i talk #collage #my collages #art tag

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nobody-wants-ice-cream · 4 years

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Everything Wrong With The Umbrella Academy. Episode 6, The Day That Wasn’t.

We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals

Run Boy Run

Extra Ordinary

Man on the Moon

Number Five

Disclaimer: This is all in good fun! I wanted to do a really nitpicky re-watch of the series and found some really cool and interesting things I didn’t notice before. This is meant to have a Cinema Sins-esque tone. However, I did take off a lot more sins than Cinema Sins would have because I do genuinely like the series and the people that made it possible. So all of the good things got one sin off and all the bad things got one sin added. This is a really long post, so grab some popcorn. If there’s anything that I missed, feel free to add it!

I would also like to add that normally you wouldn’t watch a show this way. I am purposefully looking for mistakes, easter eggs, and other things that we’re not supposed to notice. I am watching not with the goal of entertainment, but for analysis. So most of the things that I sin, I am seeing for the first time.

Also, no I can’t do better. I am in no way qualified to give this level of criticism about anything.

[Today we got the s2 release date!! I am so excited. To answer any questions about that, I will probably do a season 2 version of this a year after it comes out. Since some of my sins involve fandom and any fic tropes/theories we might come up with, I want to make sure that has time to happen.]

The Day that Wasn’t

Only Dave notices Klaus coming to Vietnam via briefcase. The flashing blue lights and loud “oof!” isn’t loud enough to wake anyone else up. +1

Cody Ray Thompson’s workout routine. -1

“Katz” isn’t a fandom thing! The dude that is yelling at all the soldiers and Klaus to get ready (some sort of commanding officer?) calls Dave “Katz”! -1

Klaus is so confused that he just puts the pants on without really questioning it. What the fuck was going on in Klaus’s head? +1

Where is Ben? +1

Right where I’m paused Klaus’s face is hilarious. “It was at this moment Klaus knew. He fucked up” -1

The Power of Boners is what keeps Klaus in the fucking Vietnam War. +1

For all future Dave sins, I am calling it The Power of Boners because Dave gets one line. As soon as the show corrects this and shows us why Dave was so wonderful, these remain sins. Sin for the show for not providing more Dave content. +1

Overly saturated forigen country cliche. +1

Seriously, why is Vietnam so orange? +1

The Doors. -1

This one shot in the foreground of the girl with white boots. I want those boots so badly. Costume people, where did you get them? Sin until I know, damnit! +1

Cool white boots are cool. -1

Klaus’s dance moves. -1

Klave. -1

Scene does not contain a lap dance. +1

Or any other indication that Dave and Klaus didn’t just make out once and decided to remain friends. Please give me more Klave content show. If anything, just to flesh out this character who motivates Klaus for half of the season. +1

Luther barges in on people in the bathroom. He has six siblings! Anyone with at least one sibling knows that barging in on people in bathrooms is a shitty move. Heh, shitty move, bathroom, get it? +1

Klaus’s face when Luther deadpans “the world’s ending in three days”. It’s the face of someone who completely forgot about that since he’s been in the 60s for ten months. -1

Also, the way Luther tells Klaus “the world’s ending in three days” is the same way I might tell my brother that it’s time for dinner. +1

“Five’s a little- [coo coo whistle]” Emmy Raver-Lampman kills this line. -1

Luther’s face when Allison asks “what did Five even see?” brings me so much joy. That is the look of complete panic. Love that. -1

Luther can’t lie for shit. Checks out. -1

Anyone with siblings can relate to Diego, Allison, and Klaus’s reaction to this bull. -1

The dramatic music leading into the little “we died” followed by a sip of coffee. Priceless. -1

Title umbrella scares the shit out of Klaus! -1

Comic power foreshadowing? Sin until we get answers. +1

Foreshadowing that Five is in HQ by sending orders that don’t follow the same format as the rest of the ones on the shoe. Fiveshaddowing? -1

Kate Walsh plays an excellent villain. Part of that evil demeanor is getting all up in Five’s personal bubble. This is the closest Five has been to someone in the entire show without any injury or being drunk. -1

The Handler is creepy. +2

Five makes demands after setting foot in the building for less than one minute. +1

The masks from the comics are on the wall in the briefcase room. -1

Based on the two agents we see in the briefcase room and Hazel and Cha Cha, the uniform of the commission assassin is a blue suit, yet all of Five’s are grey or black like management. Inconsistency. +1

Typewriters. I hate those things. +1

I think Aidan Gallagher forgot what he was doing in this scene. His expression doesn’t look like Five, it looks like some kid who is letting a math lecture wash over them. You could make the argument that Five is sort of letting this wash over him too, but I would call bullshit. Five knows how dangerous of a situation he’s in right now. He shouldn’t look this calm. +1

The Handler touching Five’s face. +3

Dot has the “i’m in danger” expression when meeting Five because Dot let Five live in hell for 45 years. Five also looks like he wants to kill her. Great acting, Patrice Goodman. -1

Five’s expression when Dot says “No hard feelings” brings me so much joy. And fear. -1

The Handler makes Five the teacher’s pet on his first day by calling him leadership material in front of his new coworkers. +1

Kate Walsh was temporarily directed by Tim Burton for this scene. +1

That weird look one of the commission management people gives Five once Five sits down and starts working. I don’t like it, I don’t like it! +1

The Hargreeves mansion looks really fucking chaotic on the roof. I don’t like it. +1

Leonard’s face at finally being allowed inside the Hargreeves mansion. Just the right dose of satisfied and creepy. Well done, John Magaro. -1

Leonard is raising so many red flags that he may as well be a stop sign. +1

Umbrella Academy action figures. Oh, Reggie. +1

Luther has to explain that everyone in the whole world dies and not just them. The Umbrella Academy School of Delayed Reactions due to Stupidity was too long of a name so Reggie shortened it to The Umbrella Academy. +1

Allison’s right, Vanya isn’t being fair. However, Allison isn’t specific about how Vanya is family but Leonard is not. Sin for both of them for being dumb as hell. +2

“I’m gonna go find Vanya” “There isn’t time, we need to figure out what causes the apocalypse” irony. +1

“Nuclear war” cited as one of the possible causes of the apocalypse. Comics fans, enjoy this sin off. -1

“But I’m thinking this is about the Moon, right?” well yeah, but not for the reasons you think. Foreshadowing the moon. -1

That creepy portrait of Five behind Diego. No, not the big one, the other one by the bar. What the fuck, Reggie? +1

Leonard steals the action figure of The Monocle (reggie for those who don’t know the comics), which symbolizes the way Leonard feels he is controlling the Academy through Vanya. -1

Leonard is creepy. +1

Ben doesn’t realize that Klaus is going through withdrawal despite seeing it the day before. Sure, Ben could have been more focused on the tourture, but because Ben points out Klaus’s withdrawal by name in Man on the Moon, we can assume he noticed and that this is a continuity error. +1

Vanya’s powers affecting the world around her as soon as she is a safe distance away from the academy because reasons. Seriously, there should have been at least something while she was confronting her siblings. Show plays fast and loose with the rules of Vanya’s powers. +1

“If you tie me up after.” “Come again?” Diego and Klaus have the most sibling like relationship on this entire show. -1

Klaus’s Diego impression. -1

Excessive use of the word “bro”. One sin for every time I have to hear it in this scene. +2

“Mr. Five”. Is Five’s first name “Number” or did he not give the Commission any other name? Does this imply that he doesn’t go by Five Hargreeves? +1

This is one of the few scenes where Aidan Gallagher no longer looks like Aidan Gallagher and instead looks like Five. Acting. -1

Dot is really trying to get murdered. Don’t engage the man you put through hell for almost fifty years, moron. +1

The Handler has nothing better to do than to stalk Five. Does this lady have a job or did she take the day off specifically for this? What was she doing in the tube room?+1

The origin of “deadly little thing” is fucking Gloria? Really, fandom? +1

Five is too good of an actor. I understand why Aidan Gallagher might make some of these choices as an actor but I don’t understand how a man who grew up alone in the apocalypse can act this well. +1

The Handler keeps singling Five out in front of his coworkers. +1

The Handler’s arm around Five’s shoulders. +1

Creepy dude is back. I’m not even going to try and look up this guy’s name, but the expression suggests something I don’t want to think about. +1

Creepy guy’s name is Herb. Of course it is. +1

The file Five picks up just has a smiley face inside of it, which suggests that the Handler put it there as a red herring. Nice touch, show. -1

Gender neutral bathrooms. -1

Five’s expression when the Handler continues talking to him as she is peeing. -1

The Handler talks to Five while peeing. Gross. +2

His expression when she starts coughing is so funny. -1

Rugae +1

The Handler peeks over the door of the bathroom stall. +10

Cha Cha says, “Sure, shoot” when Hazel asks if he can ask her a question. +1

Where did the gunshot come from if Cha Cha didn’t shoot Hazel? I get they’re using it to make us think that she did, but there is no other explanation for the noise. +1

Luther frantically searching for his moon research makes me very sad. +1

Also, I’m kind of bored with this episode at this point. It’s such a low episode with the only interesting parts that make me as excited as the last episode Number Five, being the Commission parts. Everything else is kind of boring. Pick up the pace, show. +1

Reggie is a dick to Luther. +7

Luther looks so lost and broken and sad. I’m sad. Fuck you, Reggie. +1

Why the fuck was Luther carrying an axe?? +2

And rope?? +2

When and where did Luther find the time and money to get the engraved gold locket for Allison? This interaction is so full of plot holes and stupidity. +1

However, Cameron Brodeur and Eden Cupid do well with this dumb writing. -1

Seriously, who wrote this scene? The fact that I can’t bring myself to care about what is going on right now says a lot. +1

Reggie jump scare. +1

Cliche record scratch. How did that happen? Did Luther or Allison bump into it? Sin for lack of clarity and for destroying a record. +1

“Fun and games are restricted to Saturdays between noon and half past noon” Reggie is a dick to his children. +7

Klaus and Diego bonding. Literally? -1

Ben is in this scene! -1

I forgot how weird the soundtrack is for this scene. It’s too ominous. Scoring is important. +1

“Dave must have been a very special person to put up with all your weird-ass shit.” -1

“He was kind and strong and vulnerable and beautiful” that’s great, show. Why don’t you show us that instead of having Klaus say it. Just once scene where Dave shows these qualities so that he’s a real person instead of someone created to drive Klaus’s storyline? Please? +1

I feel really bad for Ben in this scene. From Ben’s perspective, he wasn’t good enough to motivate Klaus to get sober, but this random guy was. Ben angst. +1

Also, Justin Min manages to convey this without any lines. Major props. That takes some serious skill. -2

Bro. +1

“Everyone I like is already dead”. Fridging. +1

I can’t tell if this is Ben walking away or if this is the transition between Diego and Klaus’s point of views. If this is meant to imply the pov switch, It would have been easier to have Ben disappear from the same spot. If it’s Ben walking away because he can’t take being told that he isn’t good enough to get sober for, Ben angst. Either way, it’s a sin. +1

“Aww shit! I need to pee.” Diego’s expression is amazing. -1

“If this [having powers] is even true, everything I know about myself would be different.” That is Vanya’s storyline in a nutshell. This line is really underrated. -1

All of Leonard’s lines point towards the book. All of them. Which makes total sense. -1

Vanya is starting to show more sass and personality because the pills are gone. I wish fanfic writers would explore this. Including myself, I am sinning fanfic writers for not taking into account how cool Vanya is without the meds. +1

“I’m sorry you got stuck with the ordinary one” See! +1

“Ordinary” This word keeps coming up. Probably because of the whole rumor situation that we’re not supposed to know about yet. Rewatches are fun. -1

“My life is so weird” “I like weird”. And if you weren’t such a colossal creep, Leonard/Harold, I would like you too. This line is super sweet. Sin for manipulation. +1

Ellen Page isn’t my girlfriend. Have you seen this scene recently? She looks so cute/hot/beautiful here. +1

No transition, just straight from Leonard and Vanya kissing to The Handler slurping her smoothie. It’s jarring. +1

I want to know why they decided that killing Archduke Ferdinand would start World War I. Noodle incident. +1

“I had a bad Twinkie in the apocalypse once. Kinda put me off desserts.” Yet you still ate the fluffernutter sandwich, Five? +1

The Handler’s office is really cool. Once again, set designers you win this one. -1

Why would Five go straight for a decade instead of a flavor? How does something taste like the 1950s before it tastes like a popular candy from the time for example? +1

The suit is blue like the rest of the time travel assassins have. This suggests a uniform that the Commission didn’t make Five wear before, and suggests a sort of power play. Details. -1

The Handler is a fucking creep. +1

“M26 grenades from the Vietnam war”. This is the comment that sparked the theory that the Commission killed Dave. I want answers. +1

The candy that tastes like the 50s is really chewy. Why is Five still chewing it? +1

The Handler gives Five a pistol and he doesn’t immediately shoot her, which suggests that the pistol is empty. So why was the grenade still operational if the other weapons were not? You would think she would make sure that the grenades couldn’t be used against her. +1

The Handler is a fucking creep. I think Aidan Gallagher was a little uncomfortable in this scene. The look in his eyes isn’t something you can fake. +1

Kate Walsh is an awesome actress. -1

Out of all the candies in the bowl, Five conveniently takes one that is an actual candy and one that is a tracker. +1

So I want to talk about Luther. I think the show did him a great disservice by setting up his story this way. Compared to the Commission stuff, Luther’s story arc doesn’t seem important, hence the “Dad sent me to the Moon” jokes. If this was in a better order, then maybe the fandom would like Luther more. Not that I know what that order should have been, but it definitely shouldn’t have been this one. This whole episode seems kind of disorganized and Luther’s character suffers for it. After this sin, I’m going to shut up about it, so I’ll just add a few and move on. +5

“Four years of my life. A lie” “What an asshole” That’s a bit of an understatement, Allison. Seriously, this Moon research has got to have some value to it. Luther was studying the moon for four fucking years. Who knows what kind of crazy shit he could have found out about the moon’s atmosphere and what the Earth was like when the moon split from it. Those soil samples would tell us a lot about what the developing planet Earth was like. Luther’s moon research is important scientific material. And Reggie just locked it away. +3

This scene is excellent independently. Tom Hopper and Emmy Raver-Lampman play off each other extremely well. -1

“Can I show you something?” +1

The tools in the greenhouse have not moved in seventeen years. +1

And neither has the dust free record player. +1

Two cans of generic cola from seventeen years ago. And these two morons drink them. The family brain cell is dying. +1

This is such a sibling moment. Trying to do something nice and then it all goes up in flames? Sibling. Culture. -1

You know what isn’t sibling culture? The fucking locket. +3

This is a really human moment for Cha Cha. Burning the note shows that deep down, she cares about Hazel. -1

However, I don’t understand why she’s so pissed about Agnes. Is the show trying to ship Hazel and Cha Cha? Because that would be a stretch and I really don’t see it. +1

Klaus asking for one last hit is believable. Diego’s reaction is really good too. Well done. -1

Klaus’s ptsd. Putting my boy through trauma. +1

The wound on Dave’s chest has to be an exit wound. He was behind the barrier, so there’s no way he could have been shot from the front by the enemy. Someone (like a Commission agent) shot him from the back. So I guess we sort of got answers? I’m going to sin this until we know for sure. +1

Klaus is distraught. My poor boy. +1

Why is the chandelier still on the ground? You would think somebody would have attempted to pick that up at this point, right? It’s been two days. +1

Grace’s more relaxed hairstyle shows that she isn’t under Reggie’s strict control anymore. The tight pin curls are now replaced by gorgeous waves. Symbolism, well done hair stylist. -1

Grace lies because Pogo is standing behind Diego. Otherwise, I think she would have told him the truth right then and there. Secrets. +1

Yo, @ Luther. Who the fuck eats a hot dog like that? +1

Also, it was bright daylight when Diego was talking to Grace and now it’s pitch black out. What happened in those hours? +1

Talking about their regrets, Allison says “we can’t go back”. Insert every season 2 headcanon and the whole “Where are they?” tag line from the season 2 promos. +1

Allison attempts to see the silver lining of child abuse. This works and is a valid coping mechanism that I think is totally in character. Well done, writers. -1

The kiss on the cheek is very “this is the last time I will see my sibling whom I love very dearly and who also loves me for me”. This should have been it for Allison and Luther kissing because it’s a really good moment. -1

I love the dancing in the moonlight scene because it’s a reference to something from the comics. -1

The choreography is really, really good. Emma Portner fucking rules. -1

And I love the earrings that Allison is wearing. No joke, someone please tell me where I can find them, they’re adorable and I would love to have them. -1

However, the show made us see two sibling characters kiss. In a very romantic way. +15

And it’s very clear that this kiss happens outside of the fantasy too. +15

Also, without the lights and the music, were Allison and Luther just two weirdos dancing in the park to nothing? +1

The transition to get back to the Commission is really good. -1

“Gloria. The Handler knows that Five is up to something. Get this to Hazel and Cha Cha immediately.” Was the extra info about Five necessary? I feel like a regular person wouldn’t say that. +1

Gloria doesn’t know who the second best assassins are. +1

Five gets that stapler out of nowhere. This goes back to his unexplained power from episode 1, but now the question is: Is this switching power stapler based? +1

Five’s expression when he finally gets the name of the man who will cause the apocalypse. -1

And now we know the origin of the terminate Hazel message. Five, you clever bastard. -1

Did we see the terminate Cha Cha message before this? I can’t remember. If we didn’t then it’s a great reveal. If we did, then I didn’t care enough to pay attention. [I looked back] We didn’t. Great reveal. -1

Five, hide your bodies better so they don’t start waking up for comedic timing. +1

The comedic timing of Gloria waking back up. -1

“You’re a first rate pragmatist!” no he’s not. Have you been paying attention to Five’s character at all, Handler? If he was, then he never would have broken his contract because he was safe in the Commission.+1

Also, this is what a lot of fanfic writers base Five off of. Not his actual character, this fucking line. Sin for the fandom. +1

Why did they have to split up this scene? The Handler just attempted to shoot Five and now we’re supposed to care about Mom and Diego?? +1

Grace finally gets to tell the truth! Sin for Pogo and Reggie for forcing her to lie. +1

The truth. -1

The Commission desk people do care about Gloria. Caring. -1

Vanya finding Reggies book. This could have been the original trigger to the apocalypse in the first timeline. I want answers. How did it go down originally? +1

Dave! -1

“I do owe a debt. But it’s not to you.” This is one of those lines that will be referenced in a future season. “See, [this character and/or relationship] was referenced in season 1” or something like that. This is my favorite Five line, too. -2

Five once again stands too close to an explosion. Fuckin’ run, dude! +1

The ending of this episode reminds me of the “and it was all just a dream” ending that 5th graders write. Nothing in this episode has any consequences. +3

And I am adding back the sins I took off and then some for the important bits like Diego and Klaus bonding, Grace telling Diego all the secrets, and Klaus seeing Dave. +4

Wednesday. 8:15 A.M. (...again). The time stamp is pretty good though. -1

“What gives us a win this time?” And then Five appears. -1

Five snatches Allison’s coffee. And he should be bleeding from the shrapnel wound. +2

Allison’s face when Five snatches her coffee. -1

Diego, Luther, Klaus, and Allison are all watching Five stumble weird and chug Allison’s coffee with the funniest expressions. I want to know what they were thinking. Ya know, beyond “What the Fuck?”. +1

Those expressions, though. -1

“So if y’all don’t get your sideshow acts together” Five this whole season has been you saving the world and everyone else as a sideshow act. That’s gonna take a lot more effort than saving the world. +1

Aidan Gallagher fucking nails this scene. Expletive required. This is why I respect him as an actor. This scene would have been so easy to over act, but he kills this monologue. -5

If you look closely at Five’s hair, it looks sort of like the triangular shape from the comics. I can’t tell if that was intentional, but it was a good detail. Hair department. -1

“Who the hell is Harold Jenkins” followed by a coffee slurp. That is how they end the episode? Really? It would have been stronger without the coffee. +1

Season 2 comes out on July 31, 2020! I got the announcement just as I was finishing this episode! I’ll take off a sin because we finally know! Whoop!! -1

Overall review:

After the powerhouse that is episode 5, this episode feels odd and out of place. My favorite parts were the Commission parts, and everything else felt like an interruption. Even more so when you consider that the commission parts are the only parts of the episode that actually happened. Sure, it’s great character building, but without any consequences, it feels cheap. I feel like I’ve said everything I needed to say, so I won’t get crazy with the analysis. I would say more if anything in this episode actually mattered.

Total: 112

Sentence: The Umbrella Academy of Reacting to things Slowly due to Stupidity. Say that 10 times fast. Then I will undo all your hard work through the power of time travel. Seriously, fuck this ending.

#The Umbrella Academy #all in good fun #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #dave katz #leonard peabody #harold jenkins #the handler #dot #gloria #the commission

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michelles-garden-of-evil · 3 years

Text

Episode 37 Review: The Message in the Sand

{ YouTube: 1 | 2 | 3 }

{ Synopses/Recaps: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

Last episode, Jean Paul Desmond’s attempt to contact his late wife Erica via séance came to a crashing halt (literally) when the chandelier hanging directly over the glass-top table fell, knocking medium and Conjure Woman Vangie Abbott into a zombie-like catatonic state. Although the séance ended before anyone could establish contact with Erica, the prisoners on Maljardin did receive a message from the beyond in Quito’s writing box. Unfortunately, the only one among them fluent in the ancient language is Vangie herself, who is unable to communicate due to the spell cast over her by THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES. Raxl has some knowledge of the ancient language, but it is only enough to get the basic gist and not the whole message, which means that another mystery ferments the brew of darkness on the Island of Evil.

According to Raxl, the grains of rice warn of more accidents and spirits whom Jean Paul has angered, but that is not the entire message. Will she learn what the entire message says before Jacques causes even more disaster on Maljardin?

Jean Paul cannot believe, after all his playing God and tyrannical behavior on Maljardin, that the spirits could possibly be angry with him.

Don’t act so shocked, Jean Paul.

Like the last episode, this one picks up where the last left off--meaning, in this case, right after the cliffhanger ending with the writing box. This time, there is no mention of another impending accident, but instead of a much dire consequence of the next séance. “The ancient symbols, the ancient tongue of my people can be translated in many ways, but they all warn of death!” Raxl proclaims.

But Jean Paul doesn’t care. In front of almost the entire cast, he begins a soliloquy about he was so close to making contact with his dear, sweet Erica, and that matters to him far more than either Vangie’s life or his own. But then, along comes SCENE INTERRUPTING DAN, asking him again about the falling chandelier:

Colin Fox is way overacting in this scene, even by Strange Paradise standards. I don’t think I’ve ever seen even Cosette Lee or David Wells overact this hard.

He marches away to his bedroom and Raxl tells Quito that they need to keep the message intact so that Vangie can read it when she recovers from her trance. Once again, she has forgotten the name of the spirit who is meddling in the affairs on the island:

Jacques: *pouting* “Oh, Raxl, you forgot about me already? I thought for certain I was far more memorable than that.”

Meanwhile, Jean Paul clutches a bedpost in his fabulous bedroom and ponders who could have stopped him from making contact with Erica:

Really, Jean Paul? Dan says you have an IQ of 187. You should be able to figure this out.

While Dan recaps to Tim all about the chandelier and about all the suspicious things that happened on the island during the previous week and a half, the master of Maljardin enters his hidden monitor room through his bookcase and records a message to his dead wife:

Erica, you must be near tonight. For a fleeting moment, the séance seemed to have brought us together. When you are alive again and hear this, you will know that I have risked everything to bring you back from your long, lonely sleep. Oh, Erica, I knew the risk, but I must be stronger than that devil on Maljardin! I will win, because nothing must prevent you from joining me again in life! If I lose, I will join you in death, my Erica, and anyone who interferes with us being together again will die!

Yandere Jean Paul once again.

Just before this scene, we get a really good shot of the bookcase that disguises the entrance to Jean Paul’s monitor room. I have a weakness for both this bookcase and the ones in the drawing room at Desmond Hall, because the books on them look like the ones in the older sections of the stacks at the library where I work. How I wish I could read their spines and see what kinds of books he’s into!

This shot when he enters the hidden room makes him look tiny.

His recording to Erica is unusually long in this episode, probably to make up for the lack of tape recorder journal scenes in Week 7. While Tim (who seems to believe Dan’s theories) tells Holly that he believes that Jean Paul slashed Erica’s portrait, the recording continues:

No one will touch you, Erica, or the instruments of your preservation. No man living, no man dead. Oh, my Erica! I can say no more today; I’m tired, but no one must know this, only you because-

Taken out of context, the dialogue in this scene sounds rather rapey.

Usually, I think of Jacques’ attempts to take over Jean Paul’s body as fantasy metaphor murder. He wants to steal his body and his entire identity, becoming the new Jean Paul Desmond and leaving the old one’s soul either trapped in Hell or suspended in time as indicated in Episode 60. (That is, if we assume that they’re not different sides of the same man and Jacques isn’t just the evil side to his own personality.)

This time, however, all Jacques’ talk of wanting to “use” and “enter” Jean Paul’s body in that menacing yet smarmy tone make me think instead of fantasy metaphor rape. Vampirism may be the most popular fantasy metaphor for rape in fiction, but this scene with its sexual undertones presents demonic possession almost in the same light, at least in this scene. We already know that Jacques isn’t above sexual encounters with questionable consent and that he’s more than willing to seduce women while impersonating Jean Paul (which would equal rape by deception if it led to sex), so it really isn’t much of a stretch.

“Jacques Eloi des Mondes is coming aboard,” THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES announces, and he takes over once again:

HEADACHE FACE!

Jacques grabbing Jean Paul’s face seems to be the show’s new way of indicating his possession.

Jacques after he has taken control. His hair even looks a little messy, too, like Jacques’’ in the flashbacks.

He catches a glimpse of Raxl and Quito in the crypt and decides to spy on them. Conveniently, they happen to be discussing the message in the writing box, which we now learn contains symbols meaning “conjure doll” and “silver pin.” She tells Quito that she can’t read the rest of the message, which directly contradicts what she said about it telling of accidents and death last episode and at the beginning of this one. Assuming that this is just a continuity error, we know the following about the message so far:

Another accident is going to take place.

The spirits on Maljardin are mad at Jean Paul. We don’t know which spirits, but I would hazard to guess Dr. Menkin, the Conjure Man, and Erica.

DEATH!

Something involving the conjure doll and the silver pin.

Raxl reading the message. It looks like a complicated script to read, even compared to the Aztecs’ pictographic writing system and the Incas’ quipu.

“Now I know your secret,” Jacques smirks, “so I can turn you off, Raxl--perhaps someday soon for good.” I’m confused: what secret of hers did he just learn? He already knows that she’s a voodoo priestess and that she’s been searching for the missing conjure doll and silver pin ever since he hid them back in Episode 2. It can’t be the Temple of the Serpent, either, because they go back upstairs instead of entering it at the end of the scene. So, by process of elimination, the answer can only be that he just learned that she can read the ancient language of her people! And, if Jacques doesn’t also know how (and he most likely doesn’t), then the Conjure Man can still communicate with her from beyond the grave!

Back in the Great Hall, Tim and Holly are chatting and he suggests that there might be a hidden tunnel somewhere on the island where they could escape. Just then, Jacques interrupts their conversation and leads Holly away for a private discussion--which turns out to not be so private, because it’s in the dining room, but that’s probably why Quito is standing off to the side of the doorway.

Sorry, Tim!

While they’re together for their little semi-private meeting, Jacques decides to promote underage drinking:

Jacques pouring out some wine for himself and Holly like the cool stepdad who lets you drink at 20.

I love the epithet “prince of the sea” for both Jean Paul and Jacques. It fits both of them so perfectly with their elegance and outwardly regal demeanors.

Quito blocks Tim from entering, but then leaves to visit Raxl again--and yet Tim does nothing while he’s gone? Seriously? Has even Ian Martin gotten bored with Boring Artist Tim now? Or did he just forget about him during his hasty rewriting spree?

Meanwhile, Jacques pressures Holly to reveal the subject matter of her and Tim’s conversation, and she reluctantly agrees after he starts carrying on about secret tunnels:

More confirmation that Jacques did not build Maljardin. (Remember the Raxl line from Episode 32 where she mentioned that kings inhabited the château before him?)

“I heard Matt Dawson speaking about secret places in the crypt,” she says. “I don’t know where or what; he wouldn’t say! He said it was a secret, that he had given his word.” This is a major change from Martin’s original plans for this episode, which we can see in its Lost Episode summary.

The summary indicates that originally, instead of asking Jacques about secret passages, Holly would have told Jean Paul about the Temple of the Serpent. The version of the summary published in the Cleveland Plain Dealer (October 31, 1969) indicates that “she does not know it is a Temple,” but she probably wouldn’t tell him about the room if she didn’t sense that it was important in some way.

Yet another version--this one from the Fitchburg Sentinel (November 4, 1969)--states that the Temple “could be used to destroy Jacques Eloi des Mondes,” which is fascinating. I won’t analyze this bit, though; Curt has already done a brilliant analysis of this summary and how it connects to one of Jacques’ lines from Episode 2, and it’s better and more in-depth than my analysis would have been. I highly recommend it, but beware of spoilers through the end of Maljardin if you’re worried about those.

He calls himself “Jean Paul Desmond” three times during this scene, as though he’s desperate to prove to her that he’s not Jacques Eloi des Mondes, but Jean Paul Desmond. It’s hilarious.

But back to the broadcasted version of the episode. Jacques is intrigued by what Holly says and tells her to search for the passage with him in the crypt. Once again, she agrees, being as captivated by Jean Paul Desmond as she is.

On their way down to the crypt, Jacques tells Dan that he can leave the island when he wants to, and Dan responds by threatening again to tell the cryocapsule. Needless to say, Jean Paul is going to reverse this when he finds out what Jacques said, thereby making him look even more insane than before.

When they arrive in the crypt, Jacques asks Holly where she thinks the secret room is, but she doesn’t know. Somehow neither she nor he has ever found the glaringly obvious door on the crypt wall. I have a headcanon that centuries have gone by without anyone discovering the not-so-hidden door on their own, simply because Raxl and Quito haven’t pointed it out to them. Somehow no one notices the doorway, and it stretches my willing suspension of disbelief farther than anything else on Maljardin.

Jacques tampering with the Conjure Man’s message.

But he drops the subject of the secret room as soon as he finds the writing box. He crosses his hands on top of it, lifts them, and poof! The message is rearranged. And then, through the power of Headache Faces™, Jean Paul regains control over his body:

This is his ugliest headache face so far.

Here, have a photo of Jacques smiling from earlier in the episode to wash out your eyes.

Jean Paul chases Holly out of the crypt and tells Quito that he must stay in the crypt and guard the capsule. He pronounces it the British way (”cap-syuel”) instead of how he normally says it (”cap-suhl”). Since normally only Alison and Vangie pronounce “capsule” that way, it appears that their pronunciation of the word is rubbing off on him. (It’s already rubbed off on me. I’m not kidding. The more time I spend re-watching this show instead of socializing, the more I start to talk like these characters--and I don’t even mind.)

Raxl and Quito--who came running back to the crypt when Jean Paul shouted at Holly--go to retrieve the writing box and bring it into the temple, which they decided not to do earlier when they really should have done so. But then she opens it and discovers that most of the message is gone!

Raxl: “There is only one message now: death!”

Coming up next: Alison discovers more clues to the mystery of Erica’s death.

{<- Previous: Episode 36 || Next: Episode 38 ->}

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autisticstarseed · 4 years

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if u could, perhaps, bless us with all the applicable symbols from that fic ask for hvh 👀

ooOoOOOoOO Rub s gay hands togehter omg ty friend 😍;;;;;;

💡 - What was the motivation behind the story?

hHH i hadnt written in 10+ years so when i latched onto this plot idea i just thought itd be a good time to jump the shark and try it again !! i just wanted smth really edgy and depthful bc im emo and the rest kind of snowballed

💎- What was your favorite part?

osdlfksd;lf it’s hard to pick a fav but the drunk scene was definitely the most fun to write at least

⛰️- What was the hardest part?

THE SCENE WHERE THE GANG IS KIDNAPPED BY ENKI,,,, i debated toning down the violence but in the end i knew where the story was going (and where its still going) and that its gonNA be kinda dark so why hold back now ig

🎭- What was the feeling or mood you were going for?

BITTERSWEET AF,,, sort of just treading the line of ‘hopeful’ and ‘hopeless’ at all times to fully portray the feeling of being at your lowest, but with that classic tss ‘silver linings just around the corner’ kind of undertone

🏟️- Who was your intended audience?

mostly all the adults that watched tss as a kid and felt like spirituaLLY MOVED BY IT cuz i really tried to tap into that Emotion Tee Em we all felt when we found out that zak was [redacted]

🔬- Was there one scene you were building up to/knew you had to get just right?

hHH theres actually a LOT of scenes like that and i think a lot of my general motivation to keep going comes from that ‘WAIT FOR IT WAIT FOR IT’ vibe slkdf:SDF but the Plot Twist tm in the latest chapter was definitely a big’n, and theres a few more of those still to come :^)

🗝️ - What were you thinking when you wrote it?

kjdjFSDs:DF tbh whenever i start really writing, [’im shifting into soup mode’ seinfeld meme voice] im shifting into maladaptive daydreaming mode

🎥- Were there any tv shows, books, or movies that influenced this verse, if any?

:^) devilman crybaby pls forgive me for everytHing

📈- Was there a clear character arch you wanted____ character to go on?

i actually have a short list of what i somewhat consider to be the story arcs in my notes !! mostly just for organization and obvs i wont list the future ones but so far we’ve seen the kushtaka arc, the enki arc, and now we’re in what i call ‘the annunaki’ arc.

🎢- Were there any scenes you were nervous about? For audience reception or otherwise?

ALL OF IT JSHDJSKD, but again a lot of the enki scenes i was worried would be too edgy TM, and the whole annunaki plot as well i was worried might be too ‘out there’ for ppl, but it takes the story exactly where i always wanted it and lines everything up perfectly so i went for it lol. i was also ofc worried if people would like ila or not bc oc but most ppl love her actually which is so 😭❤️

☠️- Did you consider killing off any of the characters? Did you?

8^) [mickey mouse voice] this is a surprise tool that will help us later ,

✉️- Did you title your chapters? What title do you like best?

yes! the next one actually has my favorite chapter title yet, but so far i like ‘so strikes the harpoon’ since its a throwback to the first couple chapters

☀️- Was there symbolism/motifs you worked in?

o every single paragraph is an overly thought out middle school poem im entering in the talent show actually

🎵- Did you have a playlist/piece of music that went with this story?

Yes !! i have HVH insp part 1, Part 2, and an extra one for all those songs that have the vibes but just dont fit enough to make sense in a playlist

📜-Do you want to write something like this again in the future?

probably ! ive learned i definitely like the edgy/darker and emotionally driven stories with ongoing plot, so that trend will almost definitely continue. idk if ill write a dystopia again anytime soon, but i think my future stuff will at least retain that long and heavy vibe

💁- Did readers influence/change any part of this story?

oh yEA like basically i was ready to quit after the very first chapter before it was even written and kinda just got it all out on a whim of motivation but was expecting to flake on it like i tend to do with projects, but the invested response to it was just so uplifting that its what ive been riding on all ten chapters and im so grateful for it :’)))

✏️-Would you go back and change anything if you could?

hHHHHHHH yes and ok this is terrible but i actually tend to avoid re-reading my older chapters until i hAVe to bc i suffer from that sO much ,,, , its just little things like tiny words i wanna change or bits i wanna take out/put in and once or twice ive even caught a mistake or plot hole/smth i forgot to add that i rly do have to go back and edit and i just turn to dust every tim e

⭐- What’s a scene/paragraph you’re proud of?

i really liked the northern lights scene!! it was meant to be a pivotal moment of that ‘bittersweetness’ vibe i was talking abt and it was another one of those scenes i had been planning for a while;;;

“ I think of how much the rest of the family would love this. This isn’t like the moon and the sun, where I can see it and know that even if it looks different, they’ll see the same one soon enough, wherever they are. This reminds me only that I am not with them. It stings. It seems unnatural for something so gentle and natural to appear before us as if we aren’t in complete, total fucking chaos. After all we’ve been through, and the sky still dances. “

📣-What was the best piece of encouragement you got?

AVERY ALL OF UR LIVEBL OGS AND COMMENTS GIV ME SUCH L I FE, ,, ,, CRYIGN CAT FA ce

🔦-Did you learn anything while writing it? About yourself? Writing?

isdfhSDF YEs, part of my hesitation to write came from this thing where i always just assumed there was a wildly high standard of writing in fandom spaces like in original literature spaces, where you had to have like 10+ sentences to a paragraph and you had to describe every tiny detail of a setting and you had to follow every single grammar rule or it was unreadable but like. genuinely its like sculpting with words as long as you have a shape ppl get the idea which is such a weight off my shoulders lol, its still a lot of work but so much fun to know i can to an extent do what i want and ppl actually like it like that. i also learned that like most other writers i have to cause my favs emotional and physical pain,

🎁- Any writing advice for people who want to write something like this?

hhHHHH 1. please do it its so fun just give in to the edge my guy , 2. try to get comfortable re-reading your chapters, for me its like when ppl listen to themselves sing/act but im trying to do better bc its so much more consistent when i keep it fresh in my mind and it also boosts confidence when u can pick out the things u like instead of the things u dont, 3. trying to have at least one scene in mind for each chapter that ur excited to write so u can have motivation to update faster! for me it doesnt have to be smth i think would excite the audience either like it could be the most basic thing but just having an idea of it and knowing i want to see it come to life rly helps me stay on top of it all

TY SM FRIEND THIS WAS SO FUN x x )

#lochley #long post/ //#hvh #human v humanity #secret saturdays #tss #sorry to spam the tag with a longk boi but hHBHHBH #TYYY #fanfic

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kamakiddos · 5 years

Text

Us, Film Review.

Jordan Peele’s latest film, Us, while not perfect in every regard and still flawed, manages to be something wholly unforgettable and a delightful new work of modern horror. In all honesty, I can’t wait to see the film again and dissect it a bit more, but I’m fairly confident in what I have to say as is. I also have to say how wonderful it is to see how much of a buzz this film has caused both in regards of fan discussion, as there is much to unpack and analyze within it, and how much money it seems to be generating at the Box Office. Originality has been something severely lacking in many of the bigger budgeted films of late, so I hope that this film’s success sends an important message to the rest of the filmmaking world. Now onto the review itself the first parts of the film I would like to discuss are its more technical ones. This including cinematography, score, sets, costumes, props, and performances.

Visually this film is quite wonderful and filled with some genuinely great shots, especially later in the film as it seemed to gain some more confidence in itself in regards to its presentation. I especially liked a shot used during the film’s opening credits, in which a slow zoom is used to show a rabbit in a cage amongst many others as one of the best tracks from the film’s score swells. While I offer much praise to its visuals, I have to acknowledge that the same deliberate style and visual creativity isn’t kept throughout the whole film as there are plenty of moments where it becomes quite mediocre. However, these less interesting shots never took too much away from my enjoyment as they were always soon followed by another far better one. Compared to Get Out’s visuals this is an obvious step up and a welcome one. I hope that in Peele’s future works this use of visual creativity continues. Special shoutout the film’s director of photography Mike Gioulakis who’s done some amazing work on films like It Follows and Split.

In regards to the film’s score, it is rather hit or miss, as some tracks are far better than others. Three tracks from Micheal Abels’ work here called Anthem, Immolation, and Beach Walk really stand out not only in the originality of their composition and vocal work but also through how effectively they enhance the mood of the moment. They are unnerving and quite powerful, giving each moment they are placed in great strength. Sadly, much like with the film’s visuals, there are moments where it falters and becomes something rather conventional and altogether forgettable. At times it even cued in at inappropriate moments that would have been much better on their own, for example, at about the middle of the film a remix of “I’ve Got 5 On It” begins to play just after one of the film’s most outwardly violent sequences and winds up being quite distracting. At the core of this soundtrack is something really spectacular, but since the same originality present in the three tracks I mentioned earlier doesn’t flow through all of it, it winds up becoming a sort of missed opportunity. Like with the others I’ve mentioned here I am excited to see where Micheal Abels goes from here and I hope he utilizes the truly wonderful sound he is capable of creating much more in the future.

The sets, props, and costumes in the film were all pretty great. The film wasn’t a necessarily set heavy one, so it never got a chance to shine too much, but later in the film where the antagonists’ dwellings are revealed it gets a chance to really shine. I will say I loved the way the cosiness or idealistic nature of some of the interiors contrast with the horror of the film. The props in the film were pretty cool actually, especially in regards to the scissors used by this film’s antagonists. Costumes in the film never really had to be anything too spectacular and do a good job at feeling very naturalistic. I especially liked Adelaide’s (Lupita Nyong’o’s character) leisure wear that she wore for most of the film’s duration. It already looked nice on its own and when it got covered in blood later in the film wound up looking fairly awesome. Like the props, the costumes really got their chance to shine with the antagonists. Their blood red jumpsuits, bare feet, and single gloved looks are fantastic and lends them a truly intimidating presence.

Performance wise this movie is incredibly strong and most of that is due to Lupita Nyong’o’s absolutely jaw dropping work here. The way she so perfectly inhabited two vastly different and distinct characters was absolutely fantastic. Her performance was effortless, powerful, and gave so much to the film overall. It is undeniable that she is one of the best parts of this film. The other performances in the film range from very good to just okay. Not even the worst performances were able to fully break my immersion which is a very good thing. I was especially impressed with the film’s child actors. Upon seeing that they were there I was a bit nervous, so it was wonderful to see how well they did. The side characters were all fine as well. I also loved to see another fairly great performance by Elisabeth Moss and an extremely funny one from Tim Heidecker.

As I move into discussing the film’s story elements, I am sad to say that this is where a lot of the film’s issues lay. But I would like to first discuss the parts of it enjoyed. Upon seeing the trailer for this film and viewing some of the promotional material I began to construct my own idea of what the movie would be like. How the story would unfold and how it’s antagonists would function, and I’m so happy that the film completely subverted each of these. The origin of the antagonists and the ways in which they function are so greatly original and refreshing to see. The way the story unfolded and presented itself was also quite surprising. I left the theater feeling greatly refreshed over this and pleased over the fact that so much money was given to such a ludicrously fun idea. It was just a lot of fun to see unfold. However, as Peele built this world he seemingly forgot to fully figure how it would function. Now if the antagonists had been presented a bit differently, possibly more symbolically or allegorically, these plot holes could be overlooked. It’s not as though these issues are ones that are particularly hard to figure either, as even the most simple of filmgoers I spoke to raised numerous questions about how these antagonists and the world here would properly function. Now at first I was completely willing to overlook these inconsistencies, but Peele decided to introduce a big plot twist at the end of the film. This twist is cool at first, but the way in which it is presented to the audience and the weak evidence raised to support cause it to fall apart fairly quickly. The inclusion of this also harms a lot of the believability of these antagonists as a whole.

Another issue that plagued the film throughout its duration was the inclusion of light comedic elements. The same issue was present in Get Out, but their inclusion in that film felt far more natural and effective. The detriment they had was far less than with this film. The jokes to me weren’t that funny and didn’t add much to the film at all. A few moments left me laughing quite a bit, but many of them fell a bit short. Peele said that he would be remedying the “genre-confusion” many people felt with Get Out with this film, but it seemed as though he just did the same thing again and in a less smashing way. I feel as though this film would have benefited quite a bit from having a far more serious tone and using the time it took to set up such jokes developing its characters instead. One thing that bothered me about the family in this film was that their relationship felt a bit vacant. We knew they were a family because the film told us rather than showed us. This issue wasn’t so bad between Adelaide and her children as there is a sufficient amount of interaction between them, but when it came to her and her husband their was little to no chemistry at all.

All in all I really enjoyed Us and despite these issues I’ve mentioned I still loved it and can’t wait to see it again. Jordan Peele, despite a few stumbles, is proving to be a new and wonderfully fresh voice in the world of horror. As a lover of the genre myself I find a special sort of pride and joy in finally seeing black people, my people, properly represented. For so long we have been nothing but jokes or ways to get cheap kills, so to see someone so committed to the idea of representing us is so heartening. If I had to assign a grade to this film it would rest somewhere between a 75 or an 82% out of a 100 and a definite recommendation to check out for yourself. The grade would be higher if either all the technical elements had been nailed which would have made it a 85-86, or if all the story flaws had been fixed maybe a 93. The film isn’t perfect, but those flaws didn’t stop me from having a good time. I hope to see more from Jordan Peele as he grows as a filmmaker.

#us #jordan peele #horror #review #film

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my-one-love-is-music · 6 years

Text

It Takes Two Ch. 15

So it's been a while, hasn't it? *nervous chuckling*

I was very busy finishing up the end of the semester and with graduation. But I've been back on a regular update schedule for the past two weeks and I'm hoping to keep things that way for now.

Hope you enjoy the chapter! We're finally getting back to some action hehe.

Also on AO3!

Tim frowned at his files. He hadn’t looked at them in days and had been considering them less and less, but now that he was leaning back against Jason’s chest on the couch with the remains of their breakfast dishes around them, his mind was finally unfocused enough to consider their scientist again.

“What’s got your good mood going south so fast, Babybird?” Jason asked, wrapping his arms around his stomach.

“Just,” he waved his hand at his computer, “all of this. The more I think about what’s been going on with these experiments, the more I realize how little is being done about this right now. It shouldn’t be taking this long to track down Robert Anderson. There can’t be that many people in this city with that name, even if he is keeping a low profile and trying not to leave a paper trail. There has to be something.”

He growled and ran his hands through his hair, tugging at the strands. Jason covered his hands before he could do much damage and slowly rubbed circles into them to ease out the tension and the threat of ripping his hair out.

“We can get this fixed,” Jason murmured. “And I have an idea of just what we can do.”

Tim stilled in his hold, smile pulling at his lips. He looked over his shoulder at Jason behind him. “I’m sensing something brewing that Bruce wouldn’t approve of.”

Jason’s grin was sharp. “And you’d be right.”

Tim wiggled out of his hold and set his laptop on the coffee table next to the plates and cups. He turned and crossed his legs, eagerly waiting for Jason’s explanation.

“Well?” he prodded.

“Now that I’m all healed, I think it’s about time we go patrolling again.”

“You’re joking.”

Jason shook his head.

“Okay, not joking. How do you expect us to pull this off when Bruce is going to have eyes on us all the time.”

“Who said we had to do this without him knowing?”

“So you’re looking to start a fight?” Tim asked. “And risk getting dragged all the way back to the Manor?”

Jason’s grin died a little at the mention of being dragged to the Manor, but he straightened. “It’s a risk I’m willing to take as long as I’ve got you there with me. Besides, he can’t really force us to do anything. We’re legally adults, and I’m legally dead so I don’t think him suing his dead son in court is really going to hold up all that much.”

“Unless he’s trying to plead himself insane,” Tim muttered.

Jason chuckled. “And we all know that the last thing Batman needs is to be locked up in Arkham with all the people he put there.”

“Batman aside, everyone would want to make pretty boy Brucie their bitch,” Tim added.

Jason stared at him for a minute. “Where have you been hiding your sass for so long? How has no one been murdered because of this yet?”

Tim’s grin was sharp. “Now where would the fun be in letting everyone in on my little secrets?” he asked, leaning forward and wrapping his arms around Jason’s shoulders.

“Where indeed?” Jason agreed, pulling Tim more firmly against him and forcing him out of his cross-legged position. They slid down on the couch, Tim pillowed on Jason’s chest and he felt twin tendrils of warmth spread through his chest.

“What are we going to do until tonight then?” Tim sighed.

“Lay around on the couch. Do what we usually do and watch movies. Order pizza,” Jason suggested.

“We can’t keep ordering pizza.”

“Sure we can!” Jason said, reaching over for the remote. “The vigilante lifestyle is great for keeping the waist trim.”

“Yeah, it’ll just add high cholesterol to our already high blood pressure.”

“No one’s blood pressure is ever going to be as high as B’s,” Jason said, smiling down at Tim.

“And it’s going to be entirely our fault.”

“Took the words right out of my mouth. Now,” he said, flicking on the T.V., “what are you in the mood to watch?”

Tim shrugged and hid his smile in Jason’s chest. “Whatever’s on. I’m just looking to kill time until tonight when I can finally suit up again.”

“You and me both.” Jason shifted underneath him and dropped a hand on Tim’s hip, thumb rubbing into his side. He started flicking through the channels, bypassing the news stations and the boring weekend shows that played in the mornings as they searched for something that was actually good to watch.

“Jason stop,” Tim said as he tried to pull on his uniform.

Jason wrapped his arms around Tim from behind and lifted his feet from the ground. He was only dressed in his cargo pants and boots and hadn’t even strapped his leg holsters on yet. Tim had to keep from staring when he caught sight of his symbol on Jason’s chest because that was still something he wasn’t used to seeing. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be used to seeing it.

His stomach fluttered happily at both the sight of his symbol and at having Jason behind him. Jason pressed his lips to the back of his neck lightly enough to tickle and Tim squirmed in his hold.

“Come on, Jason.”

“Come on, yourself,” Jason said. “It’s still early and we probably want to wait a little bit for them to get out so they don’t notice our presence right away. It’s better if B’s in the middle of his patrol when we show up. Besides, I think it’s better if we head to an area where our lovely little scientist friend might be hanging out.”

Tim fought to turn in Jason’s hold even as his feet were hanging off the ground. Once Jason realized he wasn’t trying to break out of his hold, he helped him. Tim wrapped his legs around Jason’s waist, the top half of his uniform hanging below him from where it was connected to the waist of his pants. He wrapped one arm around Jason’s shoulders and carded the fingers of his other hand through Jason’s hair.

Jason’s eyes drooped at the sensation and he grinned. “Keep doing that and I’m not going to let you go at all.”

Tim paused. “That doesn’t sound so bad, but…we have somewhere we need to be.” He dropped his legs from Jason’s waist and the pull of gravity brought him to the ground. He ducked out of the circle of Jason’s arms and grabbed the top of his suit, sliding his arms into the sleeves.

Jason sighed and watched him before he snatched his undershirt from the dresser. He slipped it over his head and grabbed the plates of his body armor, carefully fastening them around his torso to avoid pinching his skin.

Tim pulled the zipper up and reached for his cape, clipping it to his shoulders before slipping his utility belt around his waist to secure over his hips. Almost subconsciously, his fingers brushed over his hip where Jason’s mark was hidden underneath the Kevlar. Jason tried to grab him as he moved to pull on his boots, but he slipped out of reach with a chuckle.

He heard the clicks of Jason’s holsters behind him and looked over his shoulder to find Jason shaking out his leather jacket. Tim smiled and grabbed their domino masks, passing the red one to Jason who took the chance to pull him against his chest. He pressed a kiss to Tim’s cheek making him squirm in his hold.

“You’re such a dork,” he said, holding up the domino to Jason.

“Not my problem.” He plucked the domino from Tim’s fingers and placed it over his eyes and slipped his helmet on after, locking the clasps into place.

Tim put his own domino on and slipped his hands into gauntlets. He rolled his shoulders, feeling the muscles loosen up. He flashed a grin over his shoulder. “Ready?” he asked.

“Of course,” Jason said. “Let’s go kick some ass.”

They shut off the lights in Tim’s apartment and slipped out of the window, climbing up the fire escape to stand on the roof as a breeze ruffled Tim’s cape. The sky was covered with thick clouds that smothered what little light managed to break through the pollution hanging in the sky.

Tim sprinted to the edge of the building and fired his grapple, flying from his building to the next. Jason caught up to him quickly.

“Do you even have any idea where you’re going?” Jason asked as they jumped the gap between one roof to the next, their boots making gravel skid in front of them.

“Nope,” Tim said, cheerfully. “I figure that we can head to the Narrows and see if there’s any suspicious vans around abducting people. It might give us a chance to see if Anderson is back to kidnapping new test subjects.”

“You got it,” Jason said, quickly changing direction to head to the worse part of town.

“Want to split up so that we can cover more territory?” Tim asked.

“Is that the best idea when we should be watching each other’s backs because of the whole possibly getting crippled by each other’s pain thing?”

Tim sighed. “This is going to be tedious.”

“Never said it wasn’t,” he agreed.

“Better get started before we get stopped.”

Jason pulled ahead of Tim on the rooftops and Tim pushed himself to stay with him. It felt thrilling to be running again. He hadn’t realized just how cooped up he’d been in his apartment without much to do besides laying around inside and doing schoolwork and anything else that might catch his attention. At this rate, he was already itching to get into a fight, the first dredges of adrenaline dumped into his system at the thought of beating someone up with his bo.

“Someone looks happy,” Jason said as Tim pulled up next to him.

Tim grinned and chuckled a little breathlessly. “I forgot about how great it was to be out on the rooftops.”

Jason laughed. “Me too.”

They skidded to a stop at the edge of the Narrows, looking down onto the dimly lit streets around them. The curtains were drawn on the surrounding buildings or windows were darkened, either to keep suspicion of would be criminals away from them or because they couldn’t afford to pay the electric bill to keep the lights on.

The streets were devoid of cars and Tim spotted one person in a black hoodie huddled in a darkened doorway. There was one other person several blocks down that was at the edge of an alley smoking a cigarette. Tim was surprised they were taking the risk since there wasn’t any traffic on the streets.

“We should go east and circle the edge of the narrows,” Tim suggested.

“There’s more likely going to be people out on the edges since they feel safer and anyone who’s picking up people is going to have an easier escape route without attracting attention or retribution from the other members of the Narrows,” Jason added.

“If there’s anyone that would willingly defend someone who’s being abducted,” Tim muttered.

Jason hummed his agreement and fired his grapple to the next building. They were in a more rundown area, but things weren’t crumbling so it was still safe to grapple through the streets.

Tim kept an eye on the streets as they moved further through the buildings. There were a couple alleys where hooded figures were huddled, some of them were homeless, Tim was sure others were peddling drugs, and more than one mugger was waiting for a victim to pass by.

Jason paused when they reached a cross street and Tim perched beside him. There was a black van on the street. It looked beat up and Tim was sure if they could see clearly, the sides where it was dented would have paint scratches and rust covering it. To anyone else it wouldn’t look like it was moving at anything other than a normal pace, but in reality the drivers were no doubt surveying the sidewalks and alleys for anyone that was nearby.

“You thinking what I’m thinking?” Jason asked.

“Yup,” Tim said.

Jason rubbed his gloved hands together. “What do you say we go in with a bang?”

“Don’t kill anyone yet,” Tim said, reaching to stop him as he aimed his grapple.

“I was thinking of dropping in on their van instead,” he said, firing his grapple and jumping from the roof.

Tim watched as he expertly swung over the street and loosened and retracted his grapple once he was suspended just in front of the van. The drop from gravity brought him down on the hood of the van, it’s wheels screeching as it swerved from the sudden surprise. Jason kept his balance with the movement and pulled out his gun, aiming at whoever was inside the van.

It braked harshly and Tim took the chance to fire his grapple and swing down next to it. He pulled his bo from his belt and extended it with a flick of his wrist. He looked through the side window and found two rough looking men seated in the car.

Jason squatted on the hood and waved his gun to the side, signaling the driver and passenger to climb out. They each put one of their hands up, moving to push the doors open with their other hands.

Tim saw Jason move first. He jumped backwards off the hood of the van before the men pulled out guns. The driver aimed a shot that broke the windshield, but Jason dodged. Tim spun out of the way, flattening himself against the side of the van. He swung his bo and smashed the window of the van. Glass tinkled to the ground and Tim didn’t give the gunman a chance to aim before he was shoving the edge of his bo through the window, using the side mirror to get a clear shot to his temple.

The driver shoved his door open and slipped out, but he didn’t make it a step before Jason aimed a shot at his leg. He yelled before crashing to the pavement, clutching at his leg with one hand while still aiming with his other. Jason blindly aimed around the side of the van and fired off a shot. He heard it skid against the pavement and cursed under his breath.

Tim ignored it and wrenched the door of the van open, pulling the disoriented passenger from the van and shoving him onto the road. He pressed his boot against the back of his hand that was holding the gun until his grip loosened. Tim kicked it to the side and bent to tie the guy’s hands behind his back. A bullet skidded past him and he jumped back.

“Hood get the gun from that other shooter,” Tim grit out. “He’s shooting under the van.”

“Shit,” he cursed.

The guy in front of Tim was already trying to reach for the gun he’d knocked out of his hand. He used the extended reach of his bo and shoved the gun further out of reach before whacking him on the side of the head. He groaned and slumped against the ground.

Tim turned and searched for a hold on the side of the van to pull himself up on the roof, but a pained yell sounded before he could.

“Fucking piece of shit,” Jason muttered.

“Fuck you,” the other guy spat.

“I’ve already got someone ten times hotter than you to do that for me.”

Tim bit his lip to stop the laugh from spilling from his lips. He sighed, finally letting his shoulders relax. He pulled a tie from his belt and knelt over the body in front of him, securing his hands behind his back. He grabbed the back of his jacket and dragged him around the van to where Jason as struggling to get the other guy tied up.

He sighed and smacked him on the side of the head, making him still long enough to secure his hands, one of which was bleeding, behind his back. Tim dropped his catch at Jason’s feet.

“Fucking vigilantes.”

Tim rolled his eyes.

“Shut it,” Jason growled. He knelt in front of the other guy who glared at him. “Now, you’re going to tell us what you’re doing prowling around the edge of the narrows.”

“I’m not going to tell you shit.”

Jason sighed. “Looks like this isn’t going to end well with you. Red, you might want to look away.”

Tim rolled his eyes. “Whatever. You don’t hurry it up and I’ll do it myself. I’m going to check out the van.”

The guy stilled on the ground and looked back at Tim sharply.

“Oooh so you don’t like that, do you?” Jason asked. He gripped the guy’s black hair and turned his head back towards him. “I guess we should see what’s behind door number one.”

Tim slipped around the back and grabbed the handles of the doors. They pulled open easily and he shoved the doors open, surprised they hadn’t been locked.

“What kind of bad guys don’t keep the back of their van locked?” he muttered. His eyes widened when his eyes finally adjusted to the darkness within.

Muffled screams met his ears and he caught sight of two teenagers tied up and gagged on the floor. There was an array of tools and weapons attached to the sides of the van.

“Well, Red?” Jason asked, breaking him out of his thoughts.

“We’ve got two abductees tied up back here. It’s time he starts talking,” Tim spat.

“No, wait!”

“Shut it,” Jason said. “No one wants to hear your protests. The only thing we care about is information and you might as well give it to us before we get you locked up or send you six feet under if I’m not feeling so generous.”

Tim stepped up into the van and crouched in front of the boy who was staring at him with wide eyes. He reached forward and eased the duct tape off his mouth, trying to be as gentle as possible.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he immediately started saying.

“Shh,” Tim said, gently. “Can you tell me what happened to you? How long have you been back here?”

He shook his head. “I got picked up earlier tonight, grabbed from the sidewalk and beat around before they tied me up and shoved tape over my mouth to keep me quiet.”

Tim nodded. A pained yell sounded from beside the van and the boy flinched back.

“It’s okay. We’re just taking care of the guys who kidnapped you. Do you know what they wanted with you?”

He shook his head, eyeing the doors of the van behind Tim.

“Okay,” Tim said and reached for the tape over the girl’s mouth. She immediately screamed and Tim clapped a hand over her mouth. “Please calm down,” he sighed. “You’re going to be safe but we can’t have a lot of attention drawn to us. Can you keep quiet for now?”

She stared at him with wide eyes before nodding quickly. Tim carefully removed his hand, waiting for any sign she might scream again, but she kept silent.

“What happened to you?” Tim asked.

“I was grabbed on a street corner. I didn’t really know what was happening until I was tied up and thrown in the back of this van,” she explained, voice low.

Tim nodded. “Did they say anything strange to you? Maybe to hint at why they were taking you?”

She shook her head. “They didn’t really say anything to me other than that I should keep quiet and they wouldn’t hurt me.”

Tim nodded and opened his mouth to say something else.

A loud crack sounded outside of the van before a scream sounded. Tim sighed and backed off the two teenagers.

“Excuse me for a minute,” he said, stepping out of the van. He swung around the side and found Jason with his boot on the leg of the driver.

Tim sighed and shook his head, rubbing his fingers against his temple.

“What?” Jason asked. “What did I do?”

If you enjoy my work, please reblog or consider buying me a ko-fi!

#jaytim #molim writes #fic update #fic: it takes two #kiznaiver au

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theabominableblogger · 6 years

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Rewatching “Batman” (1989)

Decided to rewatch this classic before I watch the new Justice League movie that’s out this week

I, for one, am so glad Danny Elfman brought the Batman theme back into “Justice League”

*jams out to the Batman theme*

JACK NICHOLSON

Billy Dee Williams! And he’s only in it for like 5 minutes

Jack Palance!

Oh my gosh, I forgot Prince did music for this movie

Aaaand it’s the Batman symbol!

Matte painting! Matte paintings everywhere!

Why do they always portray Gotham as freaking packed? I know it’s supposed to be a bustling metropolis but this is too much.

Why yes, random family, let’s take a shortcut through a shady ass alleyway.

What the...

Batman, brought to you by American Express

*Batman floats down behind the robbers* Eeeyyyy!!

*Batman gets shot* Welp, he’s dead. End of movie. Cue end credits music.

Gotta take your sweet ass time revealing your cape...

He raises his arms so high in the air in order to do it.

“I want you to tell all your friends about me.” “What are you?!?!?” I’M BATMAN! DAAAA NA NA NAAAA NAAAAA

Lando?!?

Mayor Borg?!?!?

“People of Gotham City, I [Harvey Dent] am a man of few words.” Nah, he’s a double-crossing, no-good swindler.

All righty, unpopular opinion time: I don’t like Jack Nicholson as the Joker. I just don’t. He’s just... Jack Nicholson in clown paint. Plus they establish him as a character before he becomes the Joker.

Oh, and of course, they name the Jack Nicholson character “Jack”

So who’s the Lieutenant character again?

Heelllooo shady lookin’- oh it’s Jack Nicholson.

Bob the Goon!

Matte painting!

This movie should be subtitled “Matte Paintings: The Movie”

Oh my God, Lando, what did they do to your hair?

Eeeeyyy!! Bob Kane!

“Vale, will you marry me [Knox]?” “Nope?” “Wanna buy me lunch?” “Maybe.” “I eat light!” Pffftt....

Story time: the Quidditch coach/captain of the team here at college (who is notorious for being a flirt) asked me to buy him supper one time before practice. I knew it was a joke but I told him “Nah, you gotta earn it” and I was applauded by the team

Obligatory purple Joker suit!

Obligatory Joker card!

Why is it such a big deal that Jack Nicholson is involved with that one particular moll?

You gotta hammer it in that Jack Nicholson’s gonna become the Joker

Why is there a casino set up in Wayne Manor?

Michael Gough!

Why is Vicki Vale dressed like she’s getting ready to be married?

I like that we don’t actually meet Bruce until like 20 minutes into the movie. Plus they establish him as a mystery character- technically the main characters at the beginning of the movie is Knox and Vicki and then it shifts to Batman. And then again, we don’t get a lot of background on either Batman or Bruce.

I never really had time to appreciate how great Michael Keaton is as Bruce Wayne but dang he’s good. And I love the reasoning behind this casting: there’s no way he could be seen as Batman and when we do find out, it’s a big shock.

Holy crap, how many cameras are set up around the manor?

Oh my gosh, Bruce has reading glasses!

Sound stage!

FreEEEZZZEE!!!

AN: I’m only 25 minutes into this movie. We gots a bit to go because I’m such a motormouth

Boom goes the dynamite!

Yes, let’s have a police shootout in a chemical factory! Great plan, guys!

Man, Gary Oldman’s Commissioner Gordon would be on the ball when it came to this situation. Pat Hingle’s Commissioner Gordon just stands around and gives orders

Um, officers, you’re walking into a puddle of toxic chemicals...

In all seriousness though, I want Jack Nicholson’s hat

Never have I seen a smirkier Batman than Michael Keaton’s Batman

Well there’s also Kevin Conroy’s Batman

*Jack Nicholson falls into the chemical vat* Welp, he’s dead. End of movie. Cue end credits music.

AXIS

Why were Jack Nicholson’s fingernails dyed green from the chemicals? I know it’s comic book logic but still...

This scene in the dining hall is my dad’s favorite scene in the movie.

That is an impossibly long dining table.

Aaww, they’re having dinner with Alfred in the butlers’ quarters!

“Alfred’s great. I [Bruce] couldn’t find my socks without him.” Cue in Batman: The Animated Series, Joker literally cannot find his socks because Harley’s not there.

That is no way to take bandages off properly, Jack...

Mirror... MIRROR!!

“You see what I have to work with here.” Yeah, those are some shitty surgical tools there, buddy.

Oh, throw that shoe, Bruce

“Who the hell are you?” “It’s me [the Joker].” *sings* IT’S MEEEEEE

“Jack? Jack is dead, my friend. You can call me.. Joker! And as you can see, I’m a lot happier!”

This freaking circus music though

*Bruce and Vicki cuddle while sleeping* Cue Bruce going “Aw man, I can’t enjoy spending time with this awesome lady because I gotta brood, man.”

WHY IS HE UPSIDE DOWN?!?!?

WAIT ‘TIL THEY GET A LOAD OF ME!

Why the hell is Jack Nicholson dressed like that?

What kind of hand buzzer is that?!?

HAVEN’T YOU HEARD THE HEALING POWER OF LAUGHTER? NOW GET OUTTA HERE!

YOUUU... ARE MY NUMBER ONEEEE... GUUUYYYYYY!!

How does Bruce Wayne AKA Batman not notice Vicki trailing him from his house to Crime Alley?

Random mime... more random mimes...

Why is Bruce just standing there? Ooohhhh... wait a minute.. there’s this whole schindig about him recognizing Jack later in the movie

There is literally no reason why Jack Nicholson becomes the Joker since he’s already been established as Jack Napier before the whole ACE Chemicals thing.

THIS TOWN NEEDS AN ENEMA!

Alfred just wants some grandkids, gosh dang it

How the hell did you get those pics, Vicki?

Oh my God, I hate that this Joker has this weird crush on Vicki. I hate it so much.

“I’m in a mind to make some mooky.” Ugghh...

Oh my gosh, the Smylex commercial

Oh my gosh, the newspeople aren’t wearing any care products... pfftt...

What kind of cake foundation does Joker have? That’s like the stuff we had to wear in high school

That waiter just addressed Vicki as “sir”

Did Joker write that message in crayon?

That elderly couple is dead after falling off the balcony like that

LET’S BROADEN OUR MINDS!

*jams the crap out to “Party Man” by Prince*

*One goon paints over a bust* Hey look, it’s the Jared Leto Joker

What the crap is this music that plays? It plays during one of the trailers for “The Shape of Water”

Oh wait, it’s the theme from something called “A Summer Place”

I quote the “one dollar bill” quote all the freaking time at my house.

The prosthetic work on Alicia looks pretty sweet, I gotta say

Oh, a little song.. a little dance... Batman’s head on a lance...

Oh my gosh, I forgot how much Kim Basinger screamed in this movie

They even color coded the cars for Joker’s goons

*The police get involved in an accident involving a farmer’s market truck* NO, NOT THE CABBAGES!

There is no way in hell that Vicki only weighs like 108

Remember when the Batsuit was made out of rubber, you guys?

*Crazy, sword-wielding guy goes after Batman* Seriously? Did you not see “Raiders of the Lost Ark?”

For the Batmobile, it looks like they made the toy first before constructing it for the movie

Gotta love that Danny Elfman score...

*Vicki tries to see under Batman’s cowl* Yo, Vicki, don’t distract Batman while he’s driving

The Batcave!

Why is there just this one random bat hanging out in a bird cage?

Forgot that Michael Keaton literally could not turn his head in the Batsuit

Oh my gosh, how short is Michael Keaton here?

Oooohhh nice transition!

How the hell did Vicki end up back there?

Gotta admit, that’s a nice apartment

“You see, my life is really...” Batsy!

JUST TELL HER YOU’RE [Vicki] BATMAN!

I like how Bruce walks right by the fire poker in order to get a freaking tray to hit Joker with

YOU WANNA GET NUTS?!? C’MON, LET’S GET NUTS!

EVER DANCE WITH THE DEVIL IN THE PALE MOONLIGHT?

“Never rub another man’s rhubarb.” What?

There is no way in hell that Bruce deflected that bullet with the tray

Matte painting!

“Can you hear me? Just the two of us.” *sings “Just the Two of Us” by Will Smith*

Gotta admit, Michael Keaton’s Batman has an awesome thinking/pensive face. It’s probably the eyebrows that help

What is it with families being targeted by random gun-wielding criminals in abandoned alleyways?

There’s no way that that’s Jack Nicholson playing young Jack Napier

Nevermind, it’s some dude named Hugo Blick

*scats the Batman theme obnoxiously out of tune*

Batman’s belt just slipped. Never gonna un-see that

Why is it that every time this Batman is in the Batsuit and glaring at somebody, he looks like he’s really constipated?

Seriously, is there not a bathroom in the Batcave?

Is this another Prince song?

So where exactly did Joker find the time to find all of this stuff and prepare for an impromptu 200th anniversary parade?

The Batplane!

Matte painting!

“Me? I’m giving away free money!” And it looks faaaaakkkeee...

Something is up with that clown balloon’s nose... just saying...

Yeah, lets go after the Joker’s goons with a baseball bat, Knox. That’ll go well.

I love the sounds all the buttons make on the Batplane dashboard

“My balloons. Those are my balloons! He stole my balloons!” Iconic.

Hahaha he [Joker] used Bob the Goon as a step stool off the parade float!

*The Batplane pauses in front of the moon* Eeeeyyy!!

*Joker pulls out the gun with the really long muzzle out of the front of his pants* No comment

Again, why is Vicki Vale dressed like she’s either getting ready to get married or go to a wedding?

“Better make it ten [minutes].” What makes this awesome is that ten minutes actually goes by both in-universe time and movie run time. My dad actually timed it the first time I watched this with him.

Mad respect to Tim Burton for the aesthetic in this movie, I gotta say

The eyebrows on Batman’s cowl strangely match Michael Keaton’s. Was this intentional?

*Joker “dances” with Vicki* Now see the last time I recall Joker dancing with somebody was the 5 second long Alex Ross scene with Harley Quinn in “Suicide Squad”

Unpopular opinion time: I like Jared Leto’s Joker better than Jack Nicholson’s Joker *gets bombarded with hate mail and darts*

Eugghhhh Vicki’s pulling a freaking Jasmine from “Aladdin”

“You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses now, would ya?” Cue Wreck-It-Ralph

How the hell did Joker pull Batman and Vicki off the roof like that?

Oh my gosh that 80s falling effect

Yeah no, from that drop, the Joker’s body would be a freaking mess

“The reign of crime [in Gotham City] is over.” BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh hi Billy Dee Williams!

You know what would be awesome: if Kim Basinger had a cameo somewhere in the Batman solo movie directed by Ben Affleck. Just saying

Yoooo....

#batman #1989 batman #jack nicholson #Michael Keaton #billy dee williams #danny elfman #vicki vale #joker #commissioner gordon #kim basinger #the blogger reacts #bruce wayne #prince #Tim Burton #jared leto

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timaltman · 7 years

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rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose however many people you want to tag!

tagged by: @hsinlvegas who has gotten me addicted to pinterest aesthetic boards and i’m mad at her for it but she’s still p rad.

tagging: whoever wants to do it lmao idk it’s 2:30am here idek whats up or down rn i should probably be asleep but also like.... no.

LAST… [1] drink: water (i’m so exciting /sarcasm) [2] phone call: my mom called me while she was driving home from work [3] text message: “oh my god no. not the kidz bop. pls no” - to my sister [4] song you listened to: reaching by audiomachine (which is so good pls go listen to it) [5] time you cried: last night thinking about steve irwin and how i owe him my entire life and career bc in 2 weeks i’m starting my first official zookeeping job and he was a huge inspiration for me as a kid

-REST UNDER THE CUT-

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: no [7] been cheated on: no [8] kissed someone and regretted it: no [9] lost someone special: yes [10] been depressed: ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜) all the fuckin time my dudes [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: no but i’ve gotten so anxious i’ve thrown up??

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] teal [13] pale yellow [14] silver

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yes! [16] fallen out of love: no [17] laughed until you cried: yes [18] found out someone was talking about you: yeah i mean i’m sure there are like three people who bitch about me all the time lmao [19] met someone who changed you: yes~ (in a good way) [20] found out who your true friends are: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧ -bitter fucking laughter- [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: ye - my wonderful girlfriend~

GENERAL… [22] how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: i mean, i’ve met a lot of them after becoming friends on tumblr, but then i have some old high school friends and some internship friends on here, too.... so like 10 or so? probably a few more than that. [23] do you have any pets: my asshole cat, robin: the cat wonder, lives with me in my apartment. at home i have a beagle/terrier mutt named copper and a gray tabby named dusty. i’m hoping to maybe get a ball python this summer but i’m not sure yet! [24] do you want to change your name: yeah, i’ve considered it b/c trans but i’m not entirely sure what i want yet.... [25] what did you do for your last birthday: wielded a chainsaw, ate shitty walmart cake and watched step brothers with some classmates in a remote cabin in southern illinois? not my first choice but not terrible, all things considered. didn’t lose any limbs that day so i can’t complain. [26] what time did you wake up: robin woke me up at like, 5:30am to get fed, but then i went back to sleep again until 7:30, text billy to have a good day at work, and then i went back to sleep again until 9:45 b/c i didn’t have my 9am class today hell yeah [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: uh, pinterest-ing for my character aesthetic boards.... >_> [28] name something you cannot wait for: graduating college and being the fuck done with schoooooool. also mother fuckin wonDER WOMAN. [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: april 23rd [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: how far away all the ppl i care about are :(((( [31] what are you listening to right now: more audiomachine but i was watching friends in the background earlier [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: ye my old neighbor was named tom he was real nice [33] something that is getting on your nerves: not in the angry way but in the anxious way- i have to give a presentation on my research project to the college board in like... 6 hours. [35] elementary: yes? [36] high school: done [37] college: sO CLOSE TO DONE I LITERALLY HAVE TWO CLASSES LEFT [38] hair color: brown.... it used to have a white patch and be fun, but i dyed it for superboy and now i’m battling with myself debating if i should dye it back bc “””professional””” for jobs but that’s so boring i want to look like shiro again :((( [39] long or short hair: short god please short, regardless of what gender i present, short is so much nicer since my hair is so thiiiiick [40] do you have a crush on someone: ye my a m a z i n g girlfriend uwu [41] what do you like about yourself?: noncommittal shrug emoji? i like my eye color i think that’s pretty radical since it’s like a gray-teal color. i guess i’m a pretty good resource for random ass animal facts too [42] piercings: mmmm i mean, i don’t care for them or about them that much? [43] blood type: literally no idea which is probably bad [44] nickname: sunshine, sam, sammy, teddy, timmy, timtam, dad [45] relationship status: -heart eyes emojis @ billy- [46] zodiac sign: aries i think? idk all i care is my celtic zodiac is a fox, so [47] pronouns: he/him [48] fav tv show: f ri ck en brooklyn 99 [49] tattoos: not yet, but after i get top surgery and no longer run the disk of mutilating or stretching it, i wanna get tim’s robin symbol on my chest [50] right or left handed: left!

FIRST… [51] surgery: wisdom teeth were my first surgery, i think? [52] piercing: got my earlobes pierced when i was like, 12? idk i don’t wear them anymore so they’ve all but closed up [53] best friend: this girl on the playground in preschool named asya but after her was this girl named natalie that i was friends with from kindergarten all through junior high. she just got married like, a month ago and i feel old [54] sport: like to actually continue with was soccer - i started at 6 i think [55] vacation: that i remember? disney world b/c my dad had drill down in florida so my parents dragged my sister and i with bc we didn’t have to pay for the hotel lol [56] pair of trainers: wut

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothin [58] drinking: water [59] i’m about to: sleep maybe, hopefully? [60] listening to: still audiomachine since they just asked this question like 10 questions ago..... [61] waiting for: my anxiety to calm tf down so i can go to sleep [62] want: foooood. i ate dinner really early (5pm) and now it’s 10 hours later so i want food again. [63] get married: -super noncommittal and also confused, disgruntled noises- ?? [64] career: dream career is a zookeeper, honestly. it’s what i’m doing, i’ve worked really hard to get to the place where i am, and i’m happy with it

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs [66] lips or eyes: eyes [67] shorter or taller: no preference [68] older or younger: usually i get along better with ppl older than me- all my closest friends are older by 2 years or more except like..... amy [69] romantic or spontaneous: anxiety and spontaneity don’t mix lmao [70] nice arms or nice stomach: either or both or neither is fine idrc [71] sensitive or loud: sensitive [72] hook up or relationship: relationship [73] troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant only bc troublemaker makes me anxious lmao

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? nope [75] drank hard liquor? ye i’ve had like. one whole vodka and lemonade in my entire life because i am a raging party animal /sarcasm [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? i lose my contacts in my eyeball sometimes [77] turned someone down? ye kinda. my ~best friends~ have this bad habit of ~falling in love with me~ and then getting pissed when i don’t return the feeling and treating me like crap :)))) [78] sex on first date? nope [79] broken someone’s heart? sure maybe idk. not on purpose. [80] had your own heart broken? no [81] been arrested? nope [82] cried when someone died? i’m a monster and have no feelings so no, not really. i usually go into emotional shock and stop processing everything [83] fallen for a friend: kind of

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? noooope [85] miracles? listen on friday i catered an event and the idiot who packed it up for us on their shift the day before forgot to put matches in the gathering. and the truck drivers loaded it onto the truck before i could check that everything was there. so we got to the location and couldn’t light the sternos for the hot food but somehow we found a box of matches in the kitchenette we were serving out of so yes i believe in miracles [86] love at first sight? maybe? idk not really i really don’t understand how anyone could love someone without knowing a bunch about them first [87] santa claus? billY AND I SAW SANTA ON OUR WAY UP TO C2E2 ON SUNDAY OKAY HIS CAR WAS RED AND SAID “MY OTHER RIDE IS A SLEIGH” AND HIS LICENSE PLATE SAID KRINGLE AND HE HAD A BIG WHITE BEARD IT WAS AMAZING OKAY. [88] kiss on the first date? maybe for ppl who aren’t like. super anxious about everything all the time [89] angels? no

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: marble, emma [91] eye color: teal-gray, which sounds pretentious and White Person af but like..... that’s the best way to describe them [92] favorite movie: i don’t knowwww that’s a hard one ;_;

#about me #gekkers;;

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