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#and i hope i made this clear? it got so long.
luffington · 3 days
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young master ♡
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➤ summary: You don't worship the ground Doflamingo walks on, and it turns him on a little too much. (18+)
➤ pairing: doflamingo x afab!reader
➤ word count: 3.7k
➤ warnings: kinda sub!doflamingo (he’s a horny menace), mild dubcon, possessive doffy, spit kink, oral (f receiving), masturbation (m receiving), degradation, name-calling
➤ notes: this takes place before dressrosa but i’m only halfway done with the arc so sorry for any inaccuracies! i haven't posted my writing online in years so please lmk what you think :3
NSFW under the break! minors dni thank uuu
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Doflamingo was sulking. His signature smile was comically turned upside down and his arms were crossed over his chest. Feet resting on top of his desk as he leaned back in his plush office chair, crumpling the important documents strewn underneath them that he was meant to review and sign. He knew he probably looked like a petulant child, and he felt like one, too. This was all your fucking fault.
Even though you were only in your twenties, you were already a well-known Vice Admiral. Vergo had informed Doflamingo of your impressive Haki abilities months ago, but that wasn’t the only reason he kept a close eye on you. You were sexy as hell, even in a Marines uniform, and he delighted in every brief interaction he had with you at Warlord meetings. When you decided to take some time off, he snatched you up immediately with a tantalizing job offer. After all, working for him was technically still a Government job, and he was helping so many countries in need!
You made it clear from the very beginning that this was a temporary gig and you had no intention of permanently joining the Donquixote Family. You were his business partner, not his subordinate. He never planned on honoring that agreement, of course, but you were making his plans particularly difficult. 
The man had hundreds of thousands – if not millions – of loyal and passive subjects. Obedient workers who never questioned his judgment and praised his iron fist, from the filthy commoners at the bottom to the Elite Officers up top. But not you. 
You had the kind of effortless confidence that got under his skin. You were unbothered and detached from his evil antics, from him. He made his presence known everywhere he went and was always the focus of the room, but it seemed like you paid more attention to the damn servants than him. His threats and intimidation which made thousands tremble in fear hardly made you flinch. When he revealed the secret of Dressrosa’s toys in hopes of getting a reaction from you, you practically yawned. 
You knew who he was. You knew what he was capable of. You didn’t fucking care.
You weren’t afraid of him, and this greatly disturbed him.
A few days ago, you had strolled into his office without even knocking on the door. He furrowed his eyebrows in annoyance, but you barely took notice. You were there to discuss your agreement in order to figure out a time frame of how long he needed you. He threw his head back and laughed loudly as he said, “That’s adorable. You really think you can get away from me, hm?”
Perceptive as always, you noticed the slightest twitch of his middle finger and immediately held an Armament Haki-coated hand in front of your chest, blocking the nearly invisible string flung your way. “Doffy, I’m being serious.”
He frowned and narrowed his eyes. Diamante used that nickname once in front of you and now you wouldn’t call him anything else. You thought it was cute. “Since when can you block my strings?”
“Do you really think I’d be a Vice Admiral if I couldn’t do that? You were so obvious about it, too.” You clicked your tongue, knowing full well that anyone less powerful than you wouldn’t be able to perceive his movement. Prominent veins popped in Doflamingo’s forehead but the blonde man stayed silent. “I think I’ll stay here for a few more months, at least. Maybe longer if I don’t have a terrible time here. Dressrosa is kind of growing on me.” 
“You’re acting like I can’t keep you here by force.” Doflamingo interrupted your train of thought. “I could have Sugar turn you into a cute little doll, and then your Vice Admiral position would disappear. Or Giolla could turn you into a painting to hang on my wall.” He paused as if considering his options, knowing full well what he truly wanted. “Maybe I’ll keep you tied up with strings as my own personal pet.”
Many times he’d pictured you tied to the headboard of his bed, stripped naked and covered in his drying cum as he used you however he wanted. Perhaps then he’d finally ignite a spark of fear in you. 
“If you actually wanted to do that, it would’ve happened already. But you’re the one who hired me, remember?” You acted like you were explaining something obvious to a kid. “If you try anything against me, I can always call up the Navy and tell them what you’re doing to your poor innocent citizens. Maybe even let them know your alias? Begins with a J, right?”
“You wouldn’t dare.” He snarled, sitting up in his seat immediately and binding strings around your wrists to keep them pinned above your head. You kept your eyes trained on his, a determined and almost taunting glint in them. 
“I’m not a big fan of blackmail, so I don’t want to do that,” you replied in an even tone. “I’m just saying that I can. Now, are we gonna talk business, or are you gonna play cat’s cradle all day?”
Doflamingo should’ve killed you right then and there. That would’ve put an end to his confusing thoughts about you, but your conversation only made them worse. You were on his mind constantly, to the point where he couldn’t focus on anything else. It was an obsession, an infatuation, one completely unbecoming of a heavenly being like himself. People were meant to grovel at his feet and kiss the very ground he walked on – why the fuck were you not affected?
He finally had enough. He pushed the chair away from his desk and stormed out of his office. Servants hurried away in fear, knowing that his scowl and heavy footsteps meant nothing but trouble. A whirlwind of thoughts swirled around his mind — he wanted to make you scream, to completely immobilize you with his power, to kiss you so hard you saw stars. No, that wasn’t it. 
He wanted you to call him ‘Young Master’. 
Doflamingo threw open the double doors to a secluded drawing room in his typical dramatic flair. You were alone, reclining on a couch and reading a book. Even this pissed him off – you were in a potential viper’s nest, surrounded by powerful people who could turn on you at any point, yet you didn’t feel the need to keep others around you for protection. You turned your head towards the intruder in confusion. His massive body filled the door frame and light from the hallway illuminated him and his feathery coat from behind, making him look like a fallen angel.
“What Devil Fruit did you eat.” It was a statement, not a question. His voice was a dangerously low growl. 
“I already told you, I didn’t eat one.” You said slowly, slightly thrown off by his demeanor but still not afraid. 
“You lying bitch!” He roared, using his strings to slam the doors behind him as he crossed the room towards you in three giant steps. “You must have some kind of mind control ability, or manipulation, or… I don’t fucking know! Tell me what’s happening!” He threw his head in his hands and crouched over, almost as if he was in pain. “Why can’t I stop fucking thinking about you!”
Your mouth opened slightly and you blinked a few times to process the situation, and then it hit you. A sly grin slowly formed on your face as you dog-eared your book and set it down next to you. You knew this man was incapable of love in its purest sense, but maybe… “Doffy, have you never been attracted to someone before?”
His head shot up and he narrowed his eyes at you furiously behind his sunglasses. Of course he’d fucking been attracted to people – he refused to settle for nothing but the best with his lovers. He had fucked enough sexy men and women over the years to form a small army. But none of them were like you. 
They were all cheaply made toys, suitable for one or two uses then tossed in the trash when they broke or when he got bored. He was a greedy and spoiled child who always got what he wanted. But with you… it felt like he was staring through the front window of a shop at a shiny new toy. So close and so enticing but completely out of reach.
“Fuck you! I… I…” You would never know how that sentence was supposed to end, because he sunk to his knees and hung his head in frustrated shame. He slammed his fist against the floor hard enough to rattle the room. “Why won’t you belong to me?!”
The almighty King of Dressrosa, the feared Warlord, the powerful underground broker, was on his knees begging for you. He knew he sounded pathetic. He felt pathetic. But he couldn’t go a moment longer without getting what he wanted, what was rightfully his. 
To say you were shocked was an understatement. You had always stood your ground because you knew your worth, but sometimes you did it to purposely push the blonde man’s buttons since no one else seemed to have the courage to do so. But you were just teasing him – this was not the outcome you had in mind. 
You slowly stood from the couch to move in front of him. Even bent over, the massive man was practically your height, but he had never seemed smaller.
“Doffy,” you began in a quiet voice and reached out to gently touch his feather-clad shoulder, but he slammed the ground again. 
“I don’t need you to patronize me! I need…” he trailed off again and hesitated for a moment before realizing what he needed to do to calm the fire roaring inside him. Fine, he would give you a fucking reason to worship him. He threw himself at your midsection, making you yelp in surprise. He had finally drawn a reaction out of you, and it spurred him on even more. Rough hands yanked your shirt up to your breasts and he hungrily mouthed at the soft skin of your tummy, a frenzied mess of tongue and teeth and soft lips. “I need you. Give yourself to me.” He said breathlessly, punctuating his words with a sharp bite at your hip. 
You were frozen in place but weak in the knees, unable to do anything but accept his bites and bruises. You’d be lying if you said you’d never imagined what his long tongue and nimble fingers felt like on your body, in your body. He nipped at your skin hard enough to bruise then soothed it with his tongue, sending heat straight to your core. 
Doflamingo was in a drugged-like haze, mind clouded with a dizzying mix of lust and hatred and longing. He belatedly noticed that you weren’t resisting him when he popped the button on your jeans. When he looked up, he realized your cheeks were flushed and your gaze was trained on his long fingers dancing along the waistband of your pants. 
He smiled wickedly, feeling a sliver of regained control. “You fucking whore. You want this, don’t you?”
“Doffy, you’re the one literally trying to get in my pants.”
“Shut up.” He snarled, annoyed yet allured by your sweet giggle afterwards. He yanked your jeans down to your ankles to reveal pretty pink lace panties underneath. They practically matched the color of his coat – you had to have worn those just for him. Might as well take them later. 
A needy and unashamed whine tore from his lips when he saw your pussy. Even more perfect than he’d imagined all those times he fucked his fist alone in bed. He told himself this was what was necessary to crush that annoying ego of yours, knowing full well he was nearly shaking with pure carnal desire. He grabbed your hips hard enough to bruise and shoved your thighs apart before diving in. His tongue was ravenous, licking a sloppy stripe from your ass to your clit, mouth closing around the nub and sucking harshly. The sweetest moan he’d ever heard fell from your lips and he echoed it, eager to hear more. 
Fingers tangled in his short blonde hair as you tried to steady yourself. It was too much all at once. You tried to tug him away to tell him to slow down, yet wanted to pull him even closer. Doflamingo flinched at the contact. Part of him wanted to tie your hands behind your back because how dare you touch him without permission. But instead, he groaned at the rough pull on his scalp, which went straight to his hardening cock. His grip on you tightened as he dragged you further onto his face.
His long tongue lapped messily at your folds then slipped into your cunt, shallowly thrusting the wet tip in and out. He laughed in delight at your delicious juices coating his tastebuds and making his head spin.
“You’re so fucking wet.” He panted and rubbed his nose against your clit, making you jump. A sloppy string of his saliva still connected his mouth to your entrance. “I think you like me after all.”
“I’d like anyone who eats me out this good,” you quipped.
“But no one’s as good as me, hm?” To prove his point, he shoved the entirety of his skilled tongue deep inside you. You threw your head back and whined as the wet muscle curled and twisted inside you, hungrily lapping at your sensitive inner walls. “No one will ever be as good as me. Say you’re mine and you can have this every day.”
“F-fuck, Doffy… so, mmh, good…” He ate you out like a man starved, desperately sucking at every part of your pussy he could reach. One hand moved from your hip, leaving dark blue fingerprint-shaped bruises behind, and plunged into his own pants. He let out a deep groan at the contact.
“Call me Young Master.” Doflamingo breathed heavily as he pulled his pants down slightly. Your jaw dropped when he revealed his massive and fully erect dick, leaking beads of precum and bobbing against his stomach. You knew he’d be big based on his height, but this was inhuman. The blonde man noticed your hungry gaze and chuckled. “You want me so badly. Stop denying the truth and I’ll give you everything you want. I am a benevolent king, after all.”
You actually laughed at that, and he didn’t even try to be angry – being on full display for you meant he couldn’t hide the way your disobedience made his cock twitch. His other hand slithered between your legs and rubbed at your folds and the smile fell off your face.
You stumbled backwards – there was nothing behind you to lean on and your legs were quickly turning into jelly. “W-wait, Doffy, I can’t, ahh, l-let me sit…”
Two of his fingers moved downwards and bound your feet to the floor with his string. Immobilizing your bottom half like a statue but intentionally leaving your top half free to grab at his hair and body as you pleased. “Your king will grant you permission to move when I want to.” 
“S’okay, I l-like seeing you look up to me for once.” Your witty reply was lost on the blonde, who had spread your folds apart and was hypnotized by your entrance clenching around nothing. You were so fucking tiny compared to him and he ached at the thought of molding your insides to take him and him alone.
Just one thick finger was enough to make you moan and pant, slowly pushing its way inside your cunt. “Shit, you’re so tight.” The soft squelches of your inner walls rang in his ears and pretty pearls of precum leaked from his dick. “Perfect fucking pussy. Give it to me.”
A second digit was soon added, scissoring you apart expertly. Unsurprisingly, the man really knew how to use his fingers. He crooked them and brushed against your most sensitive spot, causing you to cry out and hold onto him even harder. Sharp teeth playfully bit at your inner thigh in response. Doflamingo gathered some of the constant dribble of precum from the tip of his cock to lube his rough palm. He considered making you spit on his hand to ease the glide, but a better idea came to mind.
“Spit in my mouth.” He ordered, tilting his head up and sticking his tongue out. Waiting for you to follow his command like a good toy.
You were taken aback by the sudden request, but you gathered a ball of spit in your mouth like you were told… and it landed directly on the lens of his sunglasses, obscuring the vision of one eye. Doflamingo knew that it wasn’t just badly aimed. This was an act of defiance. You intentionally spit on his defining accessory, his very essence.
“You stupid slut.” The venomous insult came with a maniacally pleased grin. He pushed the stained glasses onto his forehead and you finally saw his eyes for the first time. Gorgeous and bright blue with lust-blown pupils. Looking at his beautifully depraved expression in its entirety, you briefly wondered if he really was an angel. His fingers sped up to a nearly brutal pace and he slipped in a third digit, causing you to choke on your spit. “Love me. Love me.”
A divine being who fell from heaven to beg at your feet. 
“Y-you’re fucking insane,” you panted with a blissful smile, your cunt clenching down deliciously on him. “Make up your, mmh, mind.”
“Adore me.” He responded immediately. “Say you’re mine. Be mine.”
Even though you refused to respond, the blonde was lost in his fantasies yet grounded in the reality of your beautiful face scrunched up in pleasure. Mouth hanging open, hands nearly going numb from how hard you held onto him. He needed to see you like this every day – no, every hour. He could keep you under his desk like a pet, ready to suck his dick whenever he allowed you to. Or maybe you’d sit in his lap all day, one of his hands fondling your tits as he attended meetings and forced his subordinates to watch him play with his favorite toy. 
But that was too mundane. He could snatch up anyone in Dressrosa right now and do the same. No, the twisted fantasy that really made his cock ache was already happening. That annoyingly sexy confidence of yours was threatening his godliness. 
Maybe he’d make you step on him next time.
“Call me Young Master,” he begged again, too far gone to realize how ridiculous he sounded. Tongue hanging out like a dog (and panting like one, too), he rutted into his hand even faster. His cock was absolutely throbbing, red and angry and dripping precum. He was in no position to be giving orders. You stifled a giggle with your hand, which quickly turned into a moan as his fingers bumped against your cervix. 
“I already t-told you,” you sucked in a few shaky breaths. He was watching you intently and still smiling, but his fingers never slowed down. “You’re not my –mm– Master, I don’t, ahh, work for you…”
“But why not?” He whined again. “At least call me it when you cum. I’ll fucking kill you if you don’t.” 
You didn’t acknowledge the ridiculously empty threat, instead throwing your head back when his fingers crooked against your most sensitive spot. Slick was dribbling down your legs – Doflamingo licked it off of your thighs before slurping around his digits buried inside you. The blonde echoed your unashamedly loud moans, practically on the edge himself. He only needed one thing to send him into a rapturous white bliss. 
He stared up at you unblinkingly, face frozen in a grin as he took in all the telltale signs of your approaching orgasm. Sweat dribbled down your forehead, eyebrows furrowed together, body tense and breath hot. “I-I’m gonna… gonna…” He crooked his fingers inside you the way he’d done thousands of times to turn people into obedient little puppets.
“Doffy~!” Your face contorted into the most divine expression he’d ever seen, crying out his name like a desperate prayer. 
You ignored his order. You used that stupid fucking nickname. 
He came hard. 
The tight coil that had been building in his groin for days at the mere thought of you finally snapped. An animalistic moan left his lips as thick ropes of cum coated his hand and spilled onto his abdomen. He looked even more blissed out than you, panting hard and shuddering and nearly overstimulating himself with the hand on his cock still slowly moving up and down. 
Doflamingo finally removed his fingers from inside you and loudly sucked them clean of your essence. Still craning his neck upwards so he wouldn’t break eye contact with you. You could lose yourself inside that piercing gaze, so full of obsession and hunger, especially when it was coming from a position of worship rather than condescension. 
Blinking out of your stupor, you realized the blonde’s cum-coated hand was in front of your mouth. If you were anyone else, he would’ve shoved his fingers all the way to your throat and made you choke on it. Instead, he stayed still and kept quiet. This was an offering. 
You grabbed his wrist and kitten-licked his sticky palm twice, humming thoughtfully as if appraising the taste. His grin grew even wider. Then you pulled away and teasingly said, “You take care of the rest of it.”
Doflamingo simply giggled in delight — you’d willingly tasted the essence of a god, one that was soon to be your god, but you were still too stubborn to give in. He didn’t expect you to crumble so easily and he didn’t want you to. He was having way too much fun. The blonde smeared the rest of his cum on the crotch of the pink panties still pooled around your ankles. 
“That’s disgusting.” You huffed in annoyance and rolled your eyes. “What am I supposed to wear out of here?”
The man chuckled lowly and rose to his feet, suddenly towering above you at full height. He wiped the dried spit off of his sunglasses before returning them to their rightful place on the bridge of his nose. 
“Who said anything about leaving?” You paled at the sight of his devilish grin but felt your core clench in need. “You still haven’t called me by my proper title.”
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just-jordie-things · 2 days
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clean little secret - itadori yuji
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word count: 7.4k warnings: none! summary: yuji and (y/n) are keeping a secret from the others... yuji loves to be pampered by her. more info: tooth rotting fluff, crushing, friends to lovers
for stef <3 ___
Itadori Yuji wasn’t one for keeping secrets.  For one, he believed they often caused more harm than good.  So unless it was a surprise party, he had no interest in them.  Even if Nobara swore it was a particularly juicy piece of information, Yuji had no problem covering his ears with his hands and walking in the other direction.  And for two, well, he just wasn’t that great at keeping them, and after a few accidental slips, he’d decided to keep himself secret free.
Of course, the dirty little secret he had of his own didn’t count.  But it wasn’t like any harm could come of it… he was pretty sure… so long as (y/l/n) (y/n) didn’t let it slip either.
“So whaddya say?” Nobara’s unusually chipper voice drew Itadori back to the present conversation with the tell-tale hum of a boy that hadn’t listened to a thing she’d said.
Megumi briefly rolls his eyes, (y/n) lets out a short giggle that she quickly stifles behind her hand, and Nobara places her hands on her hips as she turns towards the pink haired sorcerer with a frown.
“Do you want to go see that movie tonight or not?” She asks him pointedly, as if she hadn’t spent the last few minutes coming up with a whole plan for picking up snacks and sneaking them into the theater.
“Oh!” Realization dawns on Yuji in the form of a bright grin, but Nobara’s hope is quickly deflated when he shakes his head.  “No, I can’t, sorry” 
Before the redhead could strangle him for getting her hopes up with his stupid smile, Megumi’s backing out too, and her attention is quickly swiveled towards (y/n), who had suspiciously kept her expression behind her hand.
“Sorry, Nobara,” She lowers her hand to reveal her frown.  “I can’t tonight either.  But maybe this weekend?” She tries to compromise, but it appears Nobara was already defeated by the sting of a triple rejection.
“Fine, whatever, this weekend,” She mumbles, hoping a pouty lip would be the final straw to convince her friends.  When no one moves, her expression returns to its usual resting bitch face and she turns to leave.  “But if the groupchat is as dead as your energy later, then I’m going with Maki instead!” She hollers.
That was close, Yuji thought to himself as the group dispersed and he hurriedly made his way down the hall.  Luckily this time, Nobara didn’t shake him down to interrogate him into telling her what better things he could have to do for the evening.  God, that could’ve gotten embarrassing.
After a quick stop by his dorm to change out of his uniform, Yuji made sure the halls were clear before he booked it across the building, moving as fast as he could while keeping his steps as quiet as possible, before he slid to a stop in front of her door.
With two quick but rhythmic knocks, her door slid open, and (y/n) peeked out, eyeing both directions of the hall around Yuji to make sure no one was around to see her let him in.
“You’re sure no one followed you?” She whispers, finally meeting his eyes.
Yuji shook his head confidently.  Her lips broke into a grin so wide that the corners of her eyes crinkled.
“Well then get in here already!” She says with hushed excitement, grabbing him by the front of his tee shirt and pulling him inside, closing the door behind him in one swift movement.
Yuji seats himself at the end of her bed while she grabs her phone off her desk, scrolling through an abundance of spotify playlists before settling on just the right one.
“I’m so glad we’re finally doing this” She tells him, effectively turning his cheeks pink.
“Yeah, me too” He agrees, hoping his nerves aren’t too obvious in his voice.
“I’ve been dying to show you what I just got for christmas” She adds, practically skipping into the bathroom to retrieve a decently sized plastic basket full of products Yuji can’t even recognize.  She has to carry it over to him with both hands, and he knows he should probably be intimidated by what they’re about to do, but he doesn’t.
As (y/n) drags him into her tiny bathroom to set up the array of items, she lists off each one as she shows him.  Hydrating mask, lip mask, eyelash serum, somehow it all sounds relaxing and terrifying all at once, but he trusts her, so he nods along to each one.  She seems delighted enough just to show off her little collection of products, so Yuji’s determined to match her excitement.
Truthfully, Yuji had never touched anything like this.  Sometimes he moisturized his hands when they got dry in the colder seasons, but he wouldn’t say he knew a thing about skincare.  And yet, one afternoon while walking with (y/n) from one class to another, he found himself getting carried away telling her how he was trying to take better care of himself and he wanted to establish a proper skincare routine.  Before he knew it he was agreeing to being pampered by her- on the condition that it remained secret.
Now remember, one of Yuji’s very few rules of life included the simple act of not keeping secrets.  But that day he’d agreed to her condition without a moment of hesitation.  He could understand why she didn’t want the others knowing that she was going to give him special treatment, seeing as Nobara had been begging to give everyone makeovers since she’d arrived at Jujutsu Technical College.
While he’s not disappointed in his plan for the afternoon, Yuji does feel incredibly out of place in her bathroom.  The dorms were small enough, and the bathrooms barely had room for one person to move around comfortably.  But (y/n) doesn’t seem crowded at all as she rummages through the couple of drawers next to him.
With a grin she retrieves what she’d been looking for- two fluffy headbands held proudly in her hand.
“I got one for you too,” She tells him, bashfully avoiding his eyes as she extends one out to him.  “You’ll want to keep your hair back, the mask can get really sticky” 
Yuji examines the soft baby pink material as if he’d never seen a headband before.  He’s pretty sure he knows how to use it, but just in case, he watches as (y/n) slides hers on first.  It’s not until he sees the ears on top that he checks his again, delighting in the matching cat ears before he pulls it around his neck and puts it on.
“Thanks!” He beams at both of their reflections in her mirror.  He wishes he could take a picture of them, just to have a picture of the two of them wearing the matching accessory, but he knows he can’t risk the others seeing, so for now he settles on memorizing the image.
“You’re welcome,” (y/n) bites the inside of her cheek to keep her grin from getting too goofy, and quickly redirects their attention to the first item on the agenda.  “You’ve really never done a face mask before?” 
“Nope,” Yuji shakes his head, leaning into the counter as he waits for her direction.  “Is it going to hurt?” 
“No!” (y/n) giggles, before beckoning him to hold his hand out as she uncapped the product.  “It’ll feel nice, here, put a little on,” She instructs, squeezing a dollop of green onto his fingers.  She laughs again at his reaction to the color, but he doesn’t question her as he right away rubs it onto his nose.
He had the right idea, but from the way he messily spread it over the bridge of his nose, she could tell he was going to struggle with the application.
“No no, you’re getting it everywh- oh my god don’t put it in your nose!” She squeals as she smacks his hand away, quickly stepping into his space and taking over.
Honestly, Yuji wasn’t trying to get her to do it for him, but as soon as she gently grabs his jaw in one hand while the other is carefully swiping the excess cream off of the tip of his nose, he decides right then and there to surrender.
“I didn’t know, I’ve never done it” He whines, a bit more dramatically than necessary.
“It shows,” She laughs quietly before reaching for the product again to pump more onto her own fingers.  “I can just do it for you, if you want?” She offers.
Yuji smiles and nods gratefully, his heart doing a victory dance in his chest.
“Only if you don’t mind” He tells her, already sitting himself down on her toilet seat so she didn’t have to reach up to his face.  (y/n) fights the urge to roll her eyes at his swiftness in letting her take over.
“I don’t mind,” She shrugs, getting to work applying a generous amount of lime green mask to his cheeks first.  “It’s relaxing to me, actually” 
“Really?” 
“Mhm,” She nodded along, focused on keeping the application even.  “I would’ve loved having a sibling or a cousin or something to do this stuff with,” She tells him.  “I know Nobara would… but… she’s so intense about it sometimes,” She admits, and Yuji hums in agreement.  Nobara was the most passionate person he’d ever met, and it was her greatest strength, but it did freak him out from time to time.  “Not like us” 
The murmured comment sits on his mind longer than it should have.  Not like us, she’d said, filling his insides with the fuzzy, familiar feeling of having something with her that the others didn’t.  This was all his, and she’d said so herself.  They couldn’t possibly understand them the way they understood each other.  
Not like us.  Not like us.  Not like us.
Yuji closes his eyes when her careful fingers spread the mask up the bridge of his nose before she gets started on covering his forehead.
“You do this stuff all the time though?” He asks when there’s too long of pause since he’d last heard her voice.
Not that he could forget what it sounded like, no never, most of Yuji’s day was spent waiting for her to speak, just so he could listen.  Whether she was arguing with Gojo about a ridiculous lesson plan or going on about a conspiracy theory just to get their lunch table riled up, if (y/n) was talking, Yuji had his mouth shut and his ears wide open.  He liked hearing the things she had to say, he liked the way she said them.
And he was learning now that he especially liked when he was the only one she was speaking to, and that if she was standing close, her voice came out in soft murmurs, cautious of the short space between them, and gentle on his ears as it barely echoed off the ceramic tiled walls.
“Maybe not all the time,” She hums thoughtfully.  “But I do it when I can, I try to keep up with it anyways” 
“Well it feels really nice” Yuji mumbled, almost getting sleepy as he grew used to the feeling of her warm fingers spreading the cooling cream on his skin.  (y/n) giggles again, breathy and amused as she watches his shoulders droop downwards.
“Don’t fall asleep on the toilet, Yuji,” She scolds him, but it’s hardly threatening when it’s between strings of giggles as he lazily opens his eyes to look at her.  “You’ll make a mess if you fall and hit your head on the counter” 
“I’d clean it up” He mumbles back in defeat.
“What if you were concussed?” 
“... I’d clean it up later” 
She laughs at his antics just as she’s making her final touches near his temple, spreading the green cream just so, making sure none of it would get stuck to his eyebrow.  With an affirmative nod of her head she steps back to assess her work.  
As sticky, creamy, and unfamiliar as the mask feels, Yuji’s currently grateful that it’s there to cover the way his face heats up under her direct gaze.  He’s always thought that she’s had the softest eyes- doe-like, and sweet, and easy to gaze into- but with every ounce of her attention directly on his face, Yuji starts to sweat a little bit.
His intentions of becoming closer friends through a night of pampering was starting to backfire, and instead the little crush he’d been hiding was now festering.  Bubbling and smoking just under the thinly veiled surface of his restraint.
“You’re all set,” She beams at him, which he easily returns.  “Try not to touch it while I do mine, okay? It’s gotta sit for a while” 
Yuji drops his hand just as he’s about to swipe off a generous streak of cream from his cheek, smiling innocently as (y/n) gives him a warning look before she turns towards her mirror to apply her own mask.
“Serious question, if I eat it, while I throw up?” 
(y/n) pauses mid-smear on her cheek, turning back to Yuji and sweeping her eyes over him to assess if he was actually serious about eating face cream.  He did know it wasn’t guacamole… right? She didn’t need to tell him that… right?
“If you eat it, I’ll be plucking your eyebrows after mine” She settles on a friendly threat.  
Yuji’s lips pinch and she gets back to work on her mask, certain she’d done the trick to keep him sitting still.
“Well that sounds horrifying,” He mumbles.  “But I’m in” 
(y/n) scoffs out of amusement, still focused on her reflection.
“You want me to pluck your eyebrows?” 
“If you’re doing it, then sure,” Yuji shrugs, not thinking twice about agreeing to it.  “It wouldn’t be a complete spa night otherwise” He adds with a grin that she can see from the corner of her eye.
“Well, if you really want…” She mumbles, doubling down her focus on applying her mask.
A part of her had been hoping he wasn’t agreeing to all this pampering just to please her, she hoped he wasn’t dreading the night going forward.  But if he hated it… he wouldn’t be signing himself up for eyebrow plucking… right?
It only takes a few more minutes for her to complete her own mask- she was much faster at applying it to her own face, Yuji noticed.
He also noticed that somehow, she made a face of lime green paste look good.  Which just wasn’t fair.
When Yuji tries to pinpoint when exactly these feelings for her began, his mind becomes a blurry haze of every moment he’s ever shared with her- and honestly, it could have sparked from any one of them.  It tricks him into thinking maybe he’d just… always had feelings for her.
It’s easy being around her, Yuji finds- even though sometimes she leans close enough to show him a video on her phone and it nearly sends him into cardiac arrest- there’s nothing but ease and relaxation in his muscles when she’s around him.  He doesn’t worry about saying the wrong thing- even if she giggles and shakes her head at some of his questions- he basks in her delight until it becomes his own.
Twenty minutes flies by when they’re laughing at memes or talking about the last week of training, and soon they’re scrubbing off the green mask that feels a little crustier than it had when they put it in.
Yuji groans into the bottom of the sink for the ump-teenth time as he scrubs viciously at a part of his jaw where the hardened cream refused to wash off.  (y/n) can’t help but stifle a laugh into the warm washcloth she’s using to pat her face dry, but she can’t leave him hanging, so she politely taps his shoulder to get the boy to give up on washing it off with his hands.
“Let me help” She offers, shoulders still shaking just slightly with her amusement.  
Yuji pouts with frustration when he stands up from the sink, water dripping down his face and all over his shirt, it really is a miracle he didn’t manage to clean up the last of the mask seeing as he got water everywhere in his attempts.
The pout melts away as soon as (y/n’s) stepping closer and gently wiping her washcloth against the resilient speck of green, making it look easy as it glides away under the soft cloth.  She gets it right away, but the tips of her fingers on her free hand still hover over his chin, ready to stabilize his head if he would’ve required another, rougher swipe of the cloth.
“Did ya get it?” Yuji asks hesitantly, unable to read the expression on her face.
But she’s smiling and stepping back in a moment’s notice.
“Yep!” There’s a short, tight sounding laugh that follows.  It’s not like her usual laughter, it sticks out like a sore thumb for someone as attentive as Yuji to pick up on, and he does, but he doesn’t say anything.  “Here, I have a dry washcloth for you” She’s quick to hand him the towel, and even quicker to stop him when he roughly drags the fabric over his face.
Yuji doesn’t catch half the things she’s saying when she snatches the pink cloth from his hands and tells him to sit his ass down before he destroys his pores.  He doesn’t think twice before jokingly asking her what pores are, which sends her on another lecture.  It’s hard to focus on what she’s explaining when she’s so delicately patting his face and neck dry of every last waterdrop.  He’s too busy fighting the urge to close his eyes and melt under the featherlight touch of her palm against his shoulder to give too much of a crap about pores.
Surprisingly, he’s never fallen asleep on the toilet before, but he thinks he could if he sat here and let her pamper him all night.
“... Yuji? Did you hear anything I just said?” 
It takes a few blinks for his vision to focus on her again- her brow is raised and her hands are on her hips now, she’d definitely caught him zoning out.  He hopes playing dumb does the trick.
“Of course,” He nods confidently.  “Pores swell when they’re wet and that’s bad” 
She giggles and rolls her eyes, so he knows his educated guess wasn’t as educated as he thought, but if he got her to laugh he’d take the slight tinge of embarrassment for the greater good of bringing her joy.
God, it was like every minute spent with her only left him craving more.
“Sure,” She drawls out the word in disbelief, but she doesn’t scold him for not paying attention.  It would prove to be too difficult when he’s looking at her with the brightest eyes she’s ever seen.  She would’ve believed he was hanging onto every word had he not opened his mouth.  “So, what next?” 
Yuji peeks at the remaining tubes and bottles on the counter.  He has no clue what he’s looking at of course, and this is obvious when his helpless expression turns back towards her.  To make it easier, (y/n) scoops up two smaller bottles, offering them both for him to choose from.
“Which is which?�� He asks, hooking his finger under his chin as he studies each product with skeptical eyes.
“One is for your eyelashes, and the other is for your lips,” (y/n) explains, tilting each towards him as she does.  “We can do both, or neither, up to you” 
“Will it hurt if it gets in my eyes?” He asks, eyes noticeably widened, and she chuckles as she shakes her head.
“Not at all, it’s super easy,” She assures.  “I can show you, if you want?” 
Yuji nods, and that’s how he finds himself standing just a few inches away from her as she leans into the mirror with the small applicator brush in her fingers.  She could remind him that she’s using the mirror for a reason, and he didn’t need to stand so close… but honestly, he smelled nice, and she wasn’t uncomfortable with his close proximity.  In fact, it was actually sort of comforting.
“See?” She hums, brushing the applicator through her lashes over one eye a couple times to make sure all of the serum was evenly spread, before leaning back from the mirror and turning towards him.  “Super easy.  Like mascara” 
“I’ve never told anyone this… but…” Yuji lets out a heavy sigh, and her brows pinch together as she awaits his confession.  “... I’ve never worn mascara” 
“Yuji,” She whines with a roll of her eyes, letting out her own sigh, although hers was filled with humored frustration.  “Shut up,” She finishes weakly when he’s grinning at his own jest.  “Here, do you want to try?” 
“Alright” He takes the tube out of her hand and experimentally pulls the applicator out.  
His curiosity is almost adorable as he holds it close to study it, even though there’s not much to see.  It’s just a little blue bruh with a clear liquid coated over it.  This stuff really makes your lashes grow? He looks back to (y/n), studying her just as closely, until her face starts to turn rosy and she’s looking at him expectantly.  He supposes her eyelashes do look long and pretty… but didn’t they always look like that? Could this stuff really be so good it manages to make an angel like her look prettier?
She has to clear her throat to relieve the nervous tension settling over her the longer he stares at her like this.
“Uh- um, Yuji?” 
“Yeah?” His response seems genuine enough, and (y/n’s) eyes flicker between his and the eyelash serum.  “Oh!” And just as genuine as before, he realizes that her prompts are because he’s been standing and staring for too long.  “My bad,” He apologizes sheepishly, before scooting close to her, the brush extended towards the eye that she hadn’t applied the magic pretty serum to yet.
When she realizes what he’s about to do, her eyes widen and she finds herself grabbing his wrist to halt him on instinct.
“Wait, what are you-?” 
“I thought you wanted me to do the other one?” He answers her question before she could even finish asking it, and she blinks wildly at him.  Had she not been clear? “Do you not want me to?” Yuji asks, already lowering his hand.
“No, it’s- I don’t…” Her head is shaking as she tries to find a way to explain that she’d offered him the product for himself, but she’s backtracking rather quickly as she slowly loosens her hold before pulling her hand away altogether.  “You… you can, if you want” 
She tells him quietly.  It feels like a silly thing to ask him to do, especially when she’s just demonstrated how to use the product moments prior, but now that the offer was on the table, she also wasn’t interested in turning it down.
“Okay,” His smile softens as he tilts the brush towards her face again.  “I promise not to poke your eye out” 
With a giggle she has to focus to keep her gaze tilted up at the ceiling so he can follow through on his promise.  It’s more difficult than she’s ever thought before, keeping her eyes wide open and focused on anything but the boy in front of her.  Yuji takes great care in steadily swiping the brush up through her lashes, working slowly from the outside in.  With how long it takes him, her eye should be watering, but somehow it stays dry, and she doesn’t blink over the applicator.
“You do this every day?” Yuji mumbled, re-steadying the small brush in his fingers as he got closer to the inner part of her eye.  
(y/n) hardly manages a soft hum of affirmation.  She can feel his free hand ghosting under her jaw, as though to keep her in position, however her head is perfectly still and his hold is unnecessary.  Still, his palm waits there.  She’s never felt such a buzz of nervous energy from a lack of a touch.
Yuji finishes up with a smile before popping the brush back into the tube.  He looks like he wants to say something, so she finds herself waiting in silence while she blinks until her eyes feel normal again, but that winds them both up in a minute of no words being exchanged.
This time, it’s not uncomfortable.
“Your turn?” (y/n) offers softly, reaching for the serum in his hand.  Yuji nods, lets her take it, and blinks his eyes excessively to make sure he wouldn’t feel the need to while she was doing her thing.  “You should sit again” She prompts with a gentle push to his shoulder.  It was too awkward of a reach, and would be much easier if he lowered as much of his height as possible.
“Right” He mumbles, backing up to sit down on the toilet seat once more.  He does his best to keep his eyes focused upwards, and wide open, to make it as easy as possible for her.  But what he isn’t expecting is to feel her knees pressing against his as she gets closer, and on instinct he spreads his legs a little wider so she could easily slide into the space.  
He has to keep his grip on his own knees, pressing his fingers into the material of his pants to keep from reaching out to her.  The urge to hold onto her waist- the back of her thighs- pull her closer- is so strong that he gulps.
“Are you nervous having someone get this close to your eyes?” (y/n) mumbles, noticing the shift in his energy.  Yuji swallows again before speaking.
“No- no, it’s alright, go ahead” His voice is as gentle as it is sure, so (y/n) nods back at him, and makes sure the brush is coated with a decent amount of serum before she gets to work.
He knows he’s supposed to keep his gaze upwards, but with her standing so close, leaning in so close, it was hard to keep his eyes from shifting away from the boring tiled ceiling to the much more intriguing sight before him.
“Stay still,” (y/n) murmurs under her breath.  She’s so damn close to him he can feel her cool breath against his cheek.  He manages to follow the instruction for a few more seconds, but soon enough the tips of her fingers are pressed under his chin and she’s clicking her tongue in reprimand.
His own fingers flex against his knees, his grip tightening, much like the invisible force around his heart.
Yuji wishes he could close his eyes until it was over, but that would be counterproductive.  That said, (y/n) finishes one eye quicker than he had done for her, and she’s sliding a little to the right in order to do the other one.
“You think Sukuna would like a little special treatment, too?” She teases quietly, her thumb affectionately swiping over the marking under his eye.  Yuji barely gets to revel in the feeling before the mark is opening up and a vermillion eye is glaring up at her.
“Try it brat and you won’t have hands to do your silly little makeovers” 
She giggles at the threat.  Sukuna may have intimidated her in the past, but it’s hard to feel fear while doing some self care.  Yuji still rolls his eyes and smacks his hand against his own face as punishment.  Unfortunately it’s not only a punishment for the curse living inside of him, and he winces a bit from the harsh smack.
“I’ll take that as a no thank you” (y/n) hums as she finishes up with his other eye, smiling faintly at her work before stepping back.  Yuji gives her a sheepish smile, before batting his eyelashes theatrically.  It does the trick in getting her to laugh.
“Well he’s missing out,” He says, the implication behind the surface level of his words making him bashful, and he finds himself averting his gaze.  “I feel prettier already” 
It draws another laugh out of her, sharp and surprised, and she continues to giggle behind smiling, sealed lips as she carefully slides the lash serum back into it’s perfect spot in her organizer.
If she were braver, it would’ve been easy to tell him that he didn’t need any sort of serums or masks to be pretty.  But just the thought makes her face feel warm, and she has a feeling that even if she tried to say such a thing, she’d butcher the words with a stutter.
So instead, she uncaps the small set of tweezers in her organizer, and turns her focus to the bathroom mirror in order to get to work on her eyebrows.  Yuji watches curiously as she begins to pluck tiny, near invisible hairs off of her face, all without a twitch or flinch.
She’s so focused on working with her reflection that he’s able to stare at her as freely as he wants, and it only takes a minute or two for him to get lost in a sea of mushy thoughts that get his heartbeat going.  Before he knows it he’s practically melting.
“You still want me to do yours?” 
“Hm?” His eyes shift around a bit before they land on hers, already watching him, waiting for a proper answer.  
“Your eyebrows,” (y/n) clarifies, raising the tweezers and pinching them for emphasis.  “I’m done.  So, if you still wanted, I can do yours” 
“Oh, right, yeah,” He breaks into a smile that’s so characteristically him it’s hard not to smile back.  “Is it going to hurt?” 
“It really shouldn’t,” She chuckles, considering he’s gone through worse pain than a little tweezing would provide.  Losing a hand comes to mind, but she doesn’t voice it.  “But I can stop if it becomes too uncomfortable” 
Yuji nods in understanding, and straightens up his posture, ready to brave through whatever this eyebrow plucking would bring.  He squares his jaw, clenches his fists, and prepares himself for the worst.  (y/n) presses her lips together tightly to keep her laughter from spilling out, but the stifled giggle is still audible.
“C’mon, this is a bad angle for me to do this,” She beckons him to follow her out of the small bathroom, trying to ignore how cutely he wore the expression of confusion.
Maybe it was the forced proximity getting to her head, but it was starting to feel like the little crush she’d been harboring for her friend was becoming too much to bear.  She was a jujutsu sorcerer damnit, she shouldn’t be reduced to fits of blushing and giggling she was stronger than that, wasn’t she? 
“Alrighty” Yuji follows her into the larger space of her bedroom without a second thought.
Maybe it wasn’t a question of her strength, but his.  (y/n) wondered to herself what it was about the sheer delight that overcame her whenever he was around that seemed unavoidable.  Was it her feelings for him that made her insides feel weak, or was it simply Itadori Yuji himself that was so delightful she couldn’t help the way she felt and behaved?
Or maybe she was trying too hard to find a way to excuse the butterflies only he could release in her tummy.
She’s careful with the tweezers in her hand as she climbs onto her bed, sliding into the very middle of it before patting the space in front of her to invite Yuji to do the same.
Now, Yuji wasn’t some kind of private, conservative guy.  He’d been in beds other than his own.  Megumi’s and Nobara’s had been made available to him countless times.  Whether it was a study session or a movie night, he never felt uncomfortable when being allowed into someone else’s bed.  Hell, he often made himself right at home in their sheets.  He even got a smack on the head from Nobara once for getting too cuddly with one of her plushies! 
So why now did he feel some reluctance in following (y/n’s) silent command?
“You’re allowed in the bed, Yuji,” As if reading her thoughts, she provides some comfort with the offer.  There’s even a little smile on her face, as if she wanted to tease him for hesitating.  “Trust me, it’ll be way more comfortable to do this here than keeping you sat on the toilet” 
It seems to do the trick, because he sets his knee on the mattress as he crawls on, and sits criss-cross directly in front of her.  It’s the first time he’s been in her bed, he realizes, so maybe that would explain his nerves.
(y/n’s) got a skeptical look on her face, her eyes wandering over his face as she maneuvers around, trying to find the right way to bend her legs, until eventually she huffs and turns to grab one of her pillows from the headboard.
“Just lay down, I’ll do ‘em that way,” She decides, placing the pillow just in front of her criss-crossed legs.  She gives it a pat the same way she’d patted the bed, prompting him to rest his head.  “It’d be easier than destroying my posture” She explains.
Yuji nodded his head, and started to turn around so he could lay back, but his movements are agonizingly slow.  He’s still unsure about being in her space, it seems, but she’s not sure how else to make him feel comfortable.  So when he finally lays his head down on her pillow and looks up at her, awaiting further instruction, she smiles comfortingly.
“Alright, just relax your face, I’ll try not to take too long,”
Yuji shuts his eyes and lets out a small breath, trying to do his best to relax as she’d asked him.  But it’s hard when she leans in closer and the sweet smell of her shampoo invaded his nose.  The tip of her finger merely grazes over his left eyebrow, but the sensation is electric.  He has to fight the shiver that nearly shoots down his spine.
“And just tell me if it stings too much” She adds in a murmur, before he feels the first pluck of the tweezers.
“I think I can thug it out, (y/n),” He teases, once he’s actually felt the sensation of the plucking and realizes it’s not that bad at all.  “I’m tough, you know”
(y/n) giggles, quiet and sweet, as she continues on with her work.  She shapes the top of his brow with no complaint or lag.  He figures she must be pretty used to doing this, if she’s able to speed right through the process.
“Oh yeah,” She hums, cautious of her volume when her face is hovering right over his.  She’s appreciative that Yuji’s kept his eyes closed for this process, because she doesn’t think she could bear having him staring up at her when she’s this close.  “The toughest” She finishes in a whisper.
Yuji’s shoulders shake when he chuckles, and she pauses with the tweezer for a moment when his brows move along with his smile.
“Are you patronizing me?” He asks, peeking an eye open, only to be met with her free palm covering his eyes as she leans back in to continue working on his eyebrows.
“I would never,” She assures in the same tone, laughing quietly to herself when Yuji’s mouth drops into an offended gape.  “Now hush, you’re making it hard to focus” 
Her tone was playfully scolding, but it’s an empty threat.
“Am I that distracting?”
“Incredibly,” (y/n) huffs, and it’s meant to be teasing, but there’s just a little too much truth to her tone.  “You talk too much” She throws the excuse out there quickly, hoping he wouldn’t pick up on the shift in her tone.
Yuji shrugs his shoulders, and with how close she is to him, she’s able to watch his lips curl into a cute smile.  She can’t help but mirror it, even if he can’t see.
“Can’t help it.  I like talkin’ to you” 
Now she’s certain that she’ll keep her hand over his eyes, because there’s no way she’s going to risk him seeing the way her face heats up with color.  If she put a thermometer in her mouth, it’d malfunction, she’s sure.
Yuji’s heart may have been going haywire, but there’s not an ounce of uncertainty in his words.  He means it, and she knows it.
There’s a pause, the both of them remaining silent while she freezes in her ministrations.  She squeezes the tweezers together a few times as she lets the comment really settle in her mind.
“I like talking to you too,” 
It really shouldn’t be a difficult thing to say.  For one, because it’s the truth.  And for a second thing, because there’s nothing strange about friends getting along with one another.  But for some reason, she holds her breath after she says it, and her heart is pounding in her ears.
“Today’s been a lot of fun, actually” It takes some effort to talk through the lump in her throat, but she feels the need to tell him anyway.
His smile turns into a grin, and (y/n) has to go back to working on his eyebrows in order to distract herself from it.
“It has,” Yuji agrees.  “It’s very relaxing.  I want to do this all the time now” 
“I’m not sure you’re ready for that,” (y/n) muses.  “You did try to eat the mask” She reminds.
“Guess I’ll just have to keep on getting your help then,” Yuji replies, his tone lighting with hope.  (y/n) scoffs to herself.  “What?” He asks innocently.  “I thought you liked pampering me?” 
“I thought I told you you were talking too much” She chides, moving onto the space between his brows.  Without thinking, she brought her other hand upwards so she could use her thumb to gently brush away the stray hairs from his face.
His eyes are on hers in a moment’s notice, his grin returning.
“I thought you liked talking to me” He said. She has half a mind to smack her hand over his face again- because as predicted, she’s rendered speechless when she’s leaning so close and he’s looking right at her.  But the larger problem now is that she’s completely frozen, staring back at him with wide eyes, like he’d just caught her doing something she wasn’t supposed to be.
“I do,” She mumbles, barely conscious of her own voice.  She was too distracted, her eyes shifting between his brown ones.  “You have a little hazel in your eyes” Again, she finds herself speaking without caution, or much awareness at all.
His eyes crinkle at the corners as he smiles up at her, amused by her quiet commentary.  He longs to hear more, to tell her to keep talking, but he worries that he’ll ruin the atmosphere, and startle her into covering his face again.
“I always thought you had the prettiest eyes” He said it as quietly as he could.  As he thought she might, she did startle.  Her eyes go wide and her- now perfectly shaped- brows draw together in a slight knot.
A beat passes before she’s able to reply.
And even then, it's only a barely there, “...really?” 
“Yeah, really,” Yuji answers without missing another beat.  “Sometimes I look at ‘em too long and forget where I am” 
A surprised, breathless little laugh escapes her.  If she wasn’t a blushing wreck before, she certainly was now.  She tries to continue tweezing away at his eyebrows… but it seems like his eyes insist on holding contact with hers, and she can’t exactly pluck eyebrows without looking.
And again, she’s reduced to a mumbled, “R-really?” 
“Mhm” Yuji hums, his point proven as he gets lost staring up at her.  He looks like he has something more to say, but soon enough his eyes are glazed over and he’s got a dopey smile on his face.
That smile is quickly reflected back at him as her insides start to melt to a point of no return.
“I didn’t… uh- I- I didn’t know that” She stammered, and normally she’d feel embarrassed for stuttering over her words too much, but with the bigger picture forming, stuttering was at the bottom of her list for reasons why she was growing bashful.
“Mhm,” Yuji hums again, this one a little more dazed than the last.  He blinks a few times to cure his tunnel vision.  “Sometimes I had to bite my tongue so I wouldn’t tell you that” 
She chuckles, similarly biting down on her bottom lip until she found her voice again.
“Why wouldn’t you want to tell me that?” She asks softly, brows pinching again with curiosity.
“Well, uh, y’know…” Yuji trails off, barely shrugging his shoulders.  “Didn’t want to say something weird and mess up our friendship” 
At this point, her curiosity was getting the best of her, so with a tilt of her head and a bolder disposition, she gave him a knowing smile.
“So why say something now?” 
“Couldn’t help it” He replies right away, and (y/n) has to purse her lips from grinning too much.
Her eyes flicker away from his, only to glance up at his lips.  She’s looking at him upside down, so for a brief moment Yuji thinks she’s staring at his chin, and he wonders if some of that green mask is still stuck there.  But then he catches the way her lips part and it dawns on him- oh.
It happens all at once and agonizingly slow.  She leans further over him, bringing her face down closer to his.  One of her hands firmly clutches the small set of tweezers, while the other relaxes, fingertips gently brushing over his cheekbone, thumb resting against his temple.  Yuji can’t decide whether he wants to watch it happen with wide eyes, or close them and give into the moment.  They end up falling shut on their own accord as soon as her lips brush over his- before she’s even actually kissed him.
She hovers there for a brief moment, her lips ghosting his, the tip of her nose grazing his chin, and her mind running wild.  Should she have asked him if this was okay first? Was she making this huge leap of faith over one compliment? Sure, it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to her but if she kissed him right now, like this, would she come to regret it-? 
Her thoughts are calmed when Yuji tilts his head back, bringing his lips to meet hers in a kiss that pushes every last doubt out of her mind, until it’s gone blank.  Every thought that doesn’t surround him is completely lost.
Needless to say there’s no second thought when she kisses him back.  Her fingers press softly into the skin of his cheek as though to keep him still- just as she had before when applying the eyelash serum.  Yuji never could have imagined his silly daydreams from that moment would play out in reality just twenty minutes later.
When they part, and Yuji drops his head properly back into her pillow, (y/n) doesn’t go far.  With her eyes still shut and her touch unmoving, she leans down one more time to steal another, quicker kiss, before she finally sits up and glances down at him again.
He’s already looking at her, his lips stretching so wide that his grin nearly split his face.  It was a grin she was familiar with, but it still made her light up with a shared joy.
She giggles at him, before steadying her tweezers in her fingers and going right back to the previous task at hand.
“Couldn’t help it” She mumbles his words back to him, and Yuji laughs as he shuts his eyes, relaxing once more as she evened out his eyebrows.
He reaches his hand back, gently laying it against her bent knee and giving it an affectionate squeeze.  He didn’t say anything, and neither did she, but they didn’t have to.  Not until they finished their night of pampering and made plans for a proper date later in the week.
___
xoxo ~ jordie
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ambrosiagoldfish · 1 day
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Adam x third spouse part 3 I’m begging pookie ❤️
like a time skip to when Charlie appeared and proposed the idea
Benifit of the doubt Pt.4
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Adam x 3rd Spouse! Reader
Warnings: General Adam TW’s, a little bit sad for a moment but it’s ok. Gn! Reader! honestly that’s about it I think?? Wow this is the first time it’s been this short in this series.
Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.
Request Box: Open
Word Count: 4617~
A/n: So… it’s been almost 2 months… whoops. In all seriousness though I’m sorry it’s been so long. I’ve just not been in the mood to write and a lot of stuff has been happening (which is finally over) and I’m glad I could finally post this. I was also, if I’m honest, nervous to post this, cause I’m not sure if everyone’s ready for the direction of the story. But I have made it clear that I wanted to do a time skip to the show at somepoint and decided to do it now! If you enjoy this, please let me know cause I’m really nervous about (Not my words of affirmation love language coming out-) ALSO to the requester, I know you said part 3, but I used it for part 4. I got your request as I was making part 3 soooo my bad. Hope you don’t mind tho <3 this will be the last part before the angsty finale (and maybe an epilogue)
Reblogs are always appreciated!
Anyways this was NOT beta read unfortunately, I tried to get as many errors out during the writing process so hopefully it’s fine. Also, there’s probably some words I might have wanted to italicize or make bold that aren’t, but I’m too tired to care honestly.
Tags: @tired-of-life-86 @nervoussystemss @qopia @lovelyemily @hcneyiced @v3r41ynn @ghostdoodlen @nxptvne-13 @ximenavc-che @edgyfluff @ericityyy @diffidentphantom @faimmm @slasher-whore69 @1-randomized @ozzersauce @fanlovedlt @alientee (if I forgot someone or you want to be added just tell me !!)
Days turned to weeks, to months, to years. Until eventually an eon had passed. An entirety filled to the brim with an indescribable happiness and love, threatening to spill over at any given moment. You loved Adam and Adam loved you.
To say it was all happiness would be a lie, there were some moments of sadness and pain, but all relationships were like that, even ones that lasted for eternity. You both always bounced back, apologize and moved on with a stronger bond than before. And you loved every second of it.
A lot has changed in these last few eons. Adam formed a band and is now the most popular guitarist in all of heaven. You both made new friends, some got into heaven while others were made there. Emily was one of these people to you, she looked up to you for being older than her. You’ve existed for almost all of human existence so, of course she’d look up to you.
Adam had also made new friends, his band members, some officials in heaven, but someone he’s grown close to recently was Lute. You're really happy about his friendship with Lute. She seems like a strong and loyal friend, someone that can keep him grounded while still encouraging him to be more himself. Overall, you really liked her.
How they became friends though is something… less tasteful for you. All the way back when Heaven and Hell had their first meeting on what to do with the surplus of sinners in hell causing an uprising. Neither side came to an agreement in the end, you do feel partially to blame for that, but you still stand by what you did.
You never returned to any of the follow up meetings
But Adam did, surprisingly to you. In the end, you were called to talk with Sera and Adam. You were told of the agreement between Heaven and Hell, about the yearly “cleanse” that Adam and his “Exorcists” would have to commit. At first you were shocked, sure, you didn’t have the best experience with sinners and especially with the rulers of hell, but was death really necessary? You didn’t know what to say, and Adam clearly saw this.
“Babe, you alright?” He puts his hand on your shoulder rubbing his thumb in circles. You place your hand on his.
“Yeah it’s just a lot to take in. Are we sure it has to be done… that way?”
Sera looked down in pain “they’re… uprising and are becoming to much of a threat to heaven.”
You sighed as Adam took you in his arms. Adam was fully aware that you don’t share the same sentiment towards sinners as he does. His hatred towards the unholy souls down in hell was brought about by events that you simply cannot understand. Which he is thankful for, he never would want you to experience what he did.
“If there isn’t anything else we can do then… I guess we have no choice. But I don’t want to… kill anyone, even if they are sinners.”
Adam holds you closer “You won’t have to,” you smile at him, the now familiar flickering of his LED mask meeting your gaze before softly frown “you ok?”
You nod, “yeah, just…I wish there was another way.”
-
That was it. Adam would take his exorcists down to hell to kill as many sinners as they could each year. Adam knew you didn’t want him to talk about it , he kept it as separate as he could from your life. You did have to attend meetings regarding it, as one of the very few people to know about it, that was your duty.
You were fine with having that part of the job. You weren't sure if you could kill someone, sinner or not. So, for the countless years to follow, you played your part with every new extermination, attending meetings to deal with the repercussions of each cleanse.
Adam would also have to attend the occasional meeting. Which is exactly what today was. Sera had called you both in to talk.
“Thank you both for coming. I have to inform you that you will be attending a meeting tomorrow.”
Adam groaned “What! Again? This is like the 4th fuckin’ one this week! Ugh fine! Where is it this time? halo city? Cherub towne” Adam’s voice mocked the locations you’ve both been sent to countless times with a high pitched voice. Even you have to admit that the meetings could drag a bit.
Sera's face turned into a slight grimace as she looks away from you both, she sighs and continues “The meeting will be in… hell.”
“What!” Both your voices raise in shock
“Sera, you know I don’t want to go down there again!”
“Why can’t you just send the other fucking dipshits who know about-“ Adam crossed his arms defiantly
“Stop,” Sera raises her hand toward you both “no one wants to go there, and I know you both especially don’t.” She pauses “But you both are the only available angels who know of the cleanse that aren't busy. Please… I understand your disdain but heaven’s business comes first.”
“Who are we even gonna be talking to -Wait a damn minute- Don’t fucking tell me we have to talk to him.”
“I'm sorry…” You all sat in silence for a moment before Sera begins to speak again, “But you both won’t have to worry about physically being there, we have prepared holograms for you, so neither of you would be in any danger.”
“I'll have an Angel escort you to the ‘meeting’ room tomorrow, please, get some rest. I’m sure you both have had a long day.”
With that, you and Adam went home, you were definitely not feeling well about the meeting, but the fact you wouldn’t actually be there calms your nerves a bit. You had to be a little honest with yourself, hell wasn’t really the issue for you, it was more so the people. Lucifer for one, that made you feel uneasy.
The next morning, you and Adam got ready, you had to motivate him a little. He was clearly not excited for this meeting like you. The entire way there he held you close, even though nothing could have hurt you it made him feel better knowing how close you were.
On the way there, you also got Adam some ribs, his favorite. You thought it would help his nerves a bit. Turns out, Lute was the one Sera assigned to escort you both there. That also made you both a little calmer knowing a mutual friend would be there.
The three of you waited in the ‘meeting’ room for a while, about an hour. At first you thought the meeting might had been canceled or moved and you just weren't told. But then, Lute walked up to you both.
“Sir! The Seraphim has told me to inform you that there’s been a change in plans!”
“What? The fucks that mean?” Adam said stuffing a rib into his LED mouth
“Lucifer won’t be attending the meeting, instead… his Daughter will be here in his stead.” Lute’s mask showed a continuous frown and stern expression as she spoke.
“Daughter?” Your voice shook a little. This was news to you, as long as you’ve existed you had never heard he had a daughter while in hell. You look over to Adam to see His LED eyes were wide in shock but his mask turned into a smile as he sighed.
“Phew boy, we sure dodged a big ass bullet, huh Sweetcheeks?” He laughed as his arm pulled you closer. The whole thing caused you to join in. Suddenly your nerves felt a lot better than before.
“When should she be arriving, Lute?”
“Within the hour.”
-
Adam scarfed down another plate of ribs as you all wait for the “princess of hell” to arrive. The entire time you just had to wonder what kind of person she’d be. The daughter of Lucifer and Lilith. The more you thought about it, the more bizarre it seemed.
But suddenly your thoughts were interrupted by the sliding doors opening to the meeting room and a girl steps in, asking if anyone is there.
“She can’t see us?”
“Yeah, Sera gave me a long ass lector on how this stuff works before we got here. Let’s see here…” Adam pushes a button causing a click to sound out as he says “Sup!”
The girl jumps back and falls to the floor, shocked by Adam’s sudden appearance in the room. She introduces herself as Charlie. Adam offers her to shake his hand, only for it to go through.
“Ha! I fuckin’ got you! Did you fucking see that? Good shit.”
You let out a slight laugh, as you sit and watch the meeting happen. Well, you say “meeting” but nothing about it seemed very professional. Adam for the last hour (you honestly wasn’t sure at this point) had been talking about the most random of things.
You or Lute occasionally shakening your head yes or no while listening to him, while Charlie seemed quite tired already. Not that you could blame her, people who weren’t used to Adam’s banter definitely weren’t cut out for it. But You love every word that comes out of his mouth.
Eventually Adam decides that it’s time to get into what you all came here for. Pulling out a bunch of papers, Charlie begins explaining her solution to hell’s overpopulation. You were only really half listening at first, at least before she mentioned that her solution could stop the extermination which peaked your interest.
She explains her “Hazbin Hotel” and its purpose to rehabilitate sinners, you wanted to hear more of it but Adam cut her off.
The meeting didn’t really go that well, At least for Charlie. But the whole thing left quite the impression on you. The idea of ending the extermination was stuck in your head for so long, and now you had someone who had an alternative.
“Adam, are you sure that it couldn’t have worked?”
Adam looks at you in surprise “What? Do you think that shitshow could have actually worked?” He laughed as he placed a hand on your back. “Don’t even pay it any mind, alright Babe?”
“I know, it’s just… you know I don't like the extermination. So another way to lessen the population of hell should at least be looked into.” Your voice was soft enough to barely hear.
Adam’s gaze softened but he didn’t say another word, only wrapping his wing around you pulling you closer. You lean towards him, snuggling into his soft robe. No matter how much you wanted to ignore it, you couldn’t. You needed to do something, anything.
So that night, after Adam fell asleep, you asked to talk with Sera. Leaving a note for Adam saying you went to buy something just in case he woke up.
“What is troubling you?” Sera’s voice was clear and concise.
You looked toward the ground, your nerves feeling tighter than ever, as you struggled with how to put your words together. “You're aware of all that happened in the meeting with Lucifer’s Daughter, right?”
Sera nods her head “of course, all meetings are documented about as they happen.” She tilts her head slightly “What about it?”
“Well!” You steel yourself before continuing “I would like permission to observe Charlie Morningstar’s ‘Hazbin Hotel’”
Sera’s eyes widen, breaking her calm demeanor before giving a firm “No”
“But-“
“It’s too dangerous for you to be there, Adam wouldn’t want that anyways”
“He would listen if it was an order from you!” Your eyes felt watery but you continued “Please Sera… I know you don’t want the extermination to continue. Just let me do this!”
Sera looked away from you, her feelings evident on her face, any mask now down. ‘Just a little more’ you thought
“Sera, I promise you, I’ll be careful! We don’t even have to fully support them yet, just let me observe them. It would be devastating if so many souls parish if we failed to seek all options!” You beg
Sera sighed, shakingly “…I’ll see what I can do.”
Your eyes gleamed up at the tall woman “Sera, thank you, thank you!” You wanted to hug her but out of courtesy, you advised against it.
Sera tells you that she can’t guarantee anything but she will try as she sends you home to rest.
-
A few days past after that and you haven’t heard anything from Sera. It was a little worrying and felt like a bad sign to you. That was, until you were informed by Sera that your request was accepted!
“But.” Sera stops you before you can celebrate “You're only there to keep track of the progress and to make sure nothing is happening under our noses” You nod your head in understanding
“Also…” she pauses “If anything involving this hotel happens, you will have to take full responsibility, understood?”
You nod again “yes I understand. Have you… told Adam yet?”
She shakes her head
“Ok… can you… not tell him it was my idea, please. I don’t think he’d agree if he knew.”
Sera sighs before nodding her head “Very well, I’ll tell him after you leave”
“Thank you.”
-
You return home, when you got back Adam was already gone, Sera must have already called him to the office. You dreaded when he got back. You didn’t want to see him upset, it hurt you to know how worried he was for you.
A few hours later, Adam comes through the door in a panic. He stomps up to you and pulls you into a warm and intense embrace.
“Don’t go down there. I need you here with me” his voice hitches as his wings wrap around you both, curling you both into a warm and feathery ball.
“Adam…” you paused, was this really the best thing to do? No, It had to be. If this goes well, not only will the extermination stop but Adam wouldn’t have to go down to hell ever again.
“Adam, you know I can’t go against Sera’s orders.” You kiss his cheek “and I won’t be gone forever, I’m only supposed to be there till the next cleanse. Not to mention, I’ll always come back to see you.”
Adam grumbled a little “I know, I just… don’t like you being in the same place that bastard is, and in his brat’s stupid hotel! ”
You laugh softly “Adam…” grabbing his hand, you put yours in it, showing off the gold ring on your finger “I’ll never forget my promise. You know that, right?”
Adam looks at the ring, the gold wrapped around your finger with a perfectly snug fit. Everytime he looked at it was just a reminder of your love for him. That promise was something he could never forget. He slowly raises your hand to his LED mask, kissing the back of it. “Of course not.”
“Good. I promise I’ll be fine, ok?”
He nods. Hand in hand, you slowly lead you both to the bed. The both of you lay next to each other, your bodies linked together like knots. You slwoly remove his helmet from his head, laying it on the nightstand.
Your hands move up his body before landing on his face, cupping his cheeks before pulling him to a kiss before snuggling into his chest.
-
Finally it was Time for you to leave. Sera allowed you to create portals back to heaven in case anything happened and you were in need of assistance. Adam walked you to the front gate.
“Ok, do you have everything? You didn’t forget that fucking angelic dagger I had Lute get for you right-“
You shush him “Adam, I told you I’ll be fine!”
He’s sighs “Damn it- I know that but just make sure to text me while your there ok-
You kiss him deeply “Adam. I know, you’ve told me a hundred times.” You smile as you cup his face “I love you”
He sighs “Love you too Sweetcheeks”
With one final kiss, you give Adam a tight hug before waving goodbye as you went through the flaming portal. As you went through, you take a second to look at your surroundings. In front of you was a tall building. You take a few steps back to see LED lights of a sign flashing the words ‘Hazbin Hotel’
You let out a sigh of relief. You had been a tad bit worried you’d spawn somewhere random and you’d have to find the building yourself. But it seems heaven at least spared you of that.
The red skies of hell were quite different from the pristine blue ones of heaven. Even though you just got here, you could already hear the sounds of screams and explosions in the distance. How welcoming.
You steel yourself and with three hard knocks to the door, you wait for someone to open it. Muffled Scurrying sounds of footsteps approach the door before it creaks open revealing the young blond woman in the doorframe, Charlie Morningstar.
“Hi! I’m-“
The door is slammed shut, Before opening again
“Be not afraid-“
It shuts again…
Well, this may be a bit harder than you initially anticipated. You go to knock again only for it to open once more. This time, the door doesn’t close again, instead the girl mutters a quick “Hi” before going quiet.
“Hello! I didn’t mean to scare you!” You give a small laugh before continuing “I believe we met a couple days ago?” You bring your hand towards her for a shake, to which she reciprocates.
“During the meeting with.. Adam? Right?” She grimaced when she mentioned Adam, which you decided to ignore, you simply smiled and nodded. ”but I don’t believe I caught your name?”
You tell her about yourself, about how your there to stay and monitor any progress the hotel may have. You made sure to pronounce ‘may.’ While you were hoping for this idea to show some kind of positive results, even you weren’t sure if it’d would work.
“Charlie? who’s at the door- WhatHolyShit-“ a woman with a red X over her eye suddenly shouts in surprise. You look over at her, She looked very familiar…
“Wait, you are-“
“Vaggie! Charlie’s sinner girlfriend! And you are?!” The woman known as Vaggie, highlighted the word sinner while performing a “be quiet” gesture with her hand. Your eyes widen a little at the ex-Angel in front of you but you simply smile a nod “I’m Y/n, I don’t believe we’ve met, yes?”
Look, lying is the last thing you’d want to do as a citizen of heaven but you figured that it would be fine if it was to protect someone. Vaggie nodded, her face scrunched up in a tense look.
“You feeling ok Vaggie? You’re looking a little… red?”
“I’m fine! *ahem*, Hun, how about you give them a tour of the hotel.”
Charlie gasped “Yes that's perfect, you may as well get acquainted with everyone if you’re going to be here more often!”
Charlie ran off, telling you “this way! This way!” Over and over. Before you went to follow her, you leaned toward Vaggie and said a quick “Relax, I won’t tell anyone.”
She lets out a sigh before muttering “Thank you”
You both follow Charlie as she shows you the various rooms in the hotel before leading you back to the hotel’s lobby and lounge area.
“Hey! Hello everyone!” Charlie’s voice picked up a little “I’d like to introduce you to our uh… new staff member?” You nod in agreement with the title. The room in front of you was shrouded in looks of both horror and amazement.
“What the hell’s an angel doin’ here?” A lanky spider demon spoke up first
“It’sss an ambush! seek Cover!!” The Snake demon shouted, seemingly grabbing an army helmet from thin air before taking a deep dive behind the couch.
“No Pentious-” She sighs “they’re here to monitor the hotel! Heaven sent them to scout any potential progress the hotel will have”
“It’s nice to meet you all” you look at the people in front of you, to say it was a colorful cast would be an understatement.
“These two are our current tenants of the hotel! Angel dust and Sir Pentious!”
The snake slithered slowly from behind the couch up to you, while the Spider demon remained rested on the couch
“Oh… *ahem* Excuse me dear! I am Sir. Pentious! Formally known as ‘the Architect of destruction’!” He laughs, a slight hiss sounding in his voice.
He offers a handshake which you accept. To which you immediately regret. ‘ Slimey’ you thought, before wiping your, now wet hand on your clothes.
The spider demon, who you now know as Angel Dust, just gives a wave with one of his 4 arms.
“And-“ Charlie extends the word as she quickly walk to a bar by the entrance “this is the recreational area, run by our Bartender, Husk!”
The winged bartender seemed entirely uninterested in your presence or even Charlie’s. The most you got was a small glance before he takes a swig of his alcohol and walks off.
“He’s not the most… social guy in hell” she awkwardly laughs before moving on to the next person. “And this is Nifty, our one and only maid at the hotel! Nifty say hi.”
The short woman scurried moved around you, her eye quickly looking at every every nook and cranny of you as she moved. She made numerous attempts to touch and grab various things on you, your clothes, wings, and eventually she tried to climb up you to get to your halo. That’s when you finally grabbed her in place “you're a… fast one, huh? Nice to meet you!”
“And last but not least! This is Alastor, the hotel’s executive producer and our first -and only- overlord sponsor!”
Immediately, you could tell there was something off about Alastor. The entire aura he gave off was as if he was restraining something completely and utterly ungodly. The static that surrounded him was just one of many whispers you could hear from his soul.
“Hello! It’s quite a pleasure to meet someone of your… holy status!” He offers a hand to which you, hesitantly, shake. “And what do we owe the pleasure for your service?”
“They’re going to be here to keep track of the progress of the hotel…” Charlie paused “you know I’m starting to sound like a broken record- here, it’s late, how about we all get some sleep and we can talk about it in the morning!”
“Fine by me, I am waaay too sober to be having social interaction this late” Angel picks himself up and stretches “I’m gonna hit the hay”
“Here I’ll show you to your room!” Charlie smiles “We -obviously- didn’t have time to make your own so I hope you don’t mind using one of the guest rooms” she laughs
She and Vaggie walks you to your new room before leaving you be, The room was nothing more than just your average hotel room. Of course it did have its differences, a multitude of… eyes seem to be on the wall, staring at you. Well, that’s not the least alarming.
You place your stuff down and begin unpacking, you mostly just brought the basics. Clothes, hygiene stuff, your phone, and, most importantly, a framed photo of Adam.
You sat the photo on your nightstand, angling it just right so that it would always be visible to you. As you do so, you think about the memory the photo brings, you took it on one of the first dates you went on with Adam. It was a relatively tame date, you and Adam, having a picnic by a lake at night. You brought candles so you both weren’t completely in the dark, and you just loved the way he looked, his golden eyes watching the water. The dim candle light illuminating his face with a warm golden shade. Adam hates photos of him with his mask off but… You just had to keep that moment in time forever.
*Ding* *Ding* *Ding*
Speak of the- well, you know the rest. The bright light from the phone comes with the notification sound displaying Adam in bold letters. You smile as you read his messages.
Dixkmaster69
Heyy Sweetcheeks, it’s been a bit since you left
You there??
Fucking answer
You let out a small laugh at Adam’s barrage of messages. He’s not used to you being away from him for more than a day, huh? Not that you could blame him, this is honestly nothing compared to how you feel each year he has to do the extermination.
Sweetcheeks
Hey love
Everything’s fine, I’m ok.
Aside from not having you with me :’(
Dixkmaster69
Fucking finally
You know you don’t have to do this
If I bitch enough to Sera I can get you back by tomorrow
Sweetcheeks
Please don’t, Sera already has enough on her plate.
I promise I’m going to be fine
I’ll be back before you know it.
Dixkmaster69
I know
This shit just worries me
Gonna miss hearing your sexy ass voice at night too ;)
You blush at the message before sighing. Whenever you or Adam approached a topic that made him uncomfortable, he would always try to change the subject to something that made him feel better. You knew why, Adam’s someone who rarely talked about his feelings, even after all these eons together that was something he hadn’t changed. You knew exactly what he needed, even if he didn’t explicitly tell you.
Sweetcheeks
I already miss yours too <3
Do you want to help me fall asleep with that heavenly voice of yours on the phone?
Dixkmaster69
Whatever you want Sweetcheeks <3
You smile when, almost immediately, Adam begins calling your phone. You click the lights off before You make your way in your new bed, not even bothering to change out of the clothes you’ve been wearing. You grab the cover and pull it over you and tapping the answer button.
“Sup”
You yawn “Hey handsome, I missed your voice”
You hear his voice hitch before he caused on “Of course you did, no one has a better voice than the dick master. But uh, yours is a close second”
You’re let out a tired giggle, “such a charmer, you. How’s your day been huh?”
“Oh! don’t even get me started on that- Lute took me to get some ribs to ‘calm my nerves’ or some shit and they had me, ME, wait in line for like 15 minutes! The fucking audacity!”
You smile to yourself as Adam tells you about his day, the sound of his voice was like a sweet lullaby to your ears and you couldn’t get enough of it. But eventually…
“And then when I got home, I couldn’t find my damn charger and it took me like 40 fuckin’ minutes to realize it was under our bed, do you have any idea of how it keeps getting there?” He waits for you to respond only to be met with silence. “Uh bitch, I’m talking to you.”
More silence… well no, actually if Adam focused on listening, he could hear the faint sound of your snoring from the phone. Adam sighs,”Long day, huh?”
Adam lays back in your shared bed, getting comfortable. He sets the phone beside him, plugging it in while keeping it on speaker. He yawns, “Goodnight Sweetheart, can’t wait to see you again”
Slowly, the soft sounds of both yours and Adam’s snores filled each others rooms, a distant, but intimate connection. Even in slumber, you couldn’t stop thinking of your handsome and caring soulmate.
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bountydroid · 13 hours
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Darlin' pt 6
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pt 1 / pt 2 / pt 3 / pt 4 / pt 5
Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x f!reader (Romance)
Description: Cooper and Reader feel the effects of the radiation.
Notes: My tags are still goofy I don't know what is going on I am sorry. When I am writing the post your profile comes up and I click on it but then when I post it it doesn't work? Help? You guys may have to just keep an eye on my posts. :(
Cooper still hasn't told us where he is taking us yet. The sun seemed to get extra hot as the day went on. I knew the irradiation of the river was starting to hit me, just like it was the vaultie. We both had sunken, dark eyes and pale skin. Radiation sickness was starting to set in. Cooper made sure I stayed close to him, his eyes only leaving me to bark at the vaultie when she slowed.
"This damn sun," I whined.
Without saying a word, Cooper took off his hat and dropped it on my head. I smiled ear to ear, the idea of wearing his hat filling me with joy. "Thanks, Coop." 
His footsteps stuttered at the nickname. Little did I know, it brought back a flood of memories that were long forgotten. "Just don't lose it, darlin'." He mumbled.
The show of affection filled me with a burst of energy, adding some pep to my step as we trekked along in the sand. Eventually, we happened upon a small, derelict town. The old homes were covered almost half up their sides with sand. The houses now were all the same tan color as the ground, a reminder of the harshness of the wastelands. We walked up to a building with "Westside Medical Clinic" written on a big sign out front. As soon as we stopped walking we heard it. The yelling.
"Roger! My name... is Roger!" A voice roared from inside the building. 
The three of us exchanged looks before Cooper pushed the vaultie towards the door, making her go first. "Stay behind me, sugar." He said quietly to me. 
We slowly continued into the building as the snarling grew closer. The vaultie hesitated, not wanting to get any closer to the danger inside. This caused Cooper to give her another harsh shove. The fear swirling in my stomach made me feel like I was going to throw up. I grabbed onto the back of Cooper's coat for purchase. We finally made our way into the room where the voice was coming from. A man, or a ghoul, was sitting in the sand, mumbling and snarling. 
"Hey Rog," Cooper greets him.
"Hey. Hey." the man laughs, relieved to see his friend. "Fancy seeing you here. You out for that bounty, too, huh?"
"Yep," Cooper responds as he knelt in front of his friend.
You all stand there in silence for a bit, listening to Roger snarl and whip his head around. 
"Oh, shit," Roger says between wails.
"How you feelin’?" Cooper asks quietly, already knowing the answer.
"Oh... you know," Roger replied. "It's hard out here. Dang smoothies can be so unkind. I see you got some smoothies of your own." He says as he looks over at the vaultie and me in the corner. "That one is cute with your hat on."
I give him a small smile as a blush warms my cheeks. "You like it? I'm thinking of keeping it." I say, trying to lighten the mood. 
Roger lets out a gleeful laugh, "Oh, I hope she rubs off on you. Keep her around."
Cooper smiles in response, "Plan on it."
Roger cried out again, ripping the smiles off everyone's faces.
"You're turning," Cooper says reluctantly, he exchanges a worried look with you.
"Yeah maybe, maybe." Roger says on the verge of tears, "Maybe. Hey, you don't happen to have any vials, do you? Just one little puff and I'll be back on my feet. You know I'm good for it." Roger pleaded.
"I'm sorry Roger I am all out," Cooper says, looking sorrowful.
"That's okay. That's okay." Roger mumbles. "Though, um, you and your smooth-faced friends, you um... you might want to clear out before things get ugly."
Roger started to snarl again, he was growing louder and louder. It was horrible to watch. "Is this what will happen to Cooper?" I thought to myself.
"I did okay. 28 years since I first started showing," Roger said, before snarling again. "Oh, hell! Not as long as you are though." He pointed proudly at Cooper, "You've outlasted us all. How long since you first started wastelanding?"
"A long time," Cooper responds while shaking his head.
"That's a lot of vials," Roger said quietly.
"Well I've always been good at making money, Roger." Cooper exhales as he stands up. "Say, you remember how good food used to taste?"
"Yeah, BlamCo Mac and Cheese!" Roger says excitedly.
"Ice Cream and Apple Pie." Cooper countered.
"Hot damn! Apple Pie." Roger said, joy lighting up his face, even making the vaultie smile. "You know my mother used to-"
Before he could finish, Cooper shot Roger threw the head with no warning. I stumbled back in shock, tripping and falling on my butt and landing in the sand. 
"Why did you do that?" The vaultie asked with tears in her eyes. "He was sick."
Cooper ignores her and starts making his way toward me while he holsters his gun. My eyes were glued to the man, lifeless on the ground. 
"Darlin'." Cooper says pulling me from my thoughts and he crouches in front of me. 
I look up at him with weeping eyes. "He...." I trailed off. I didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry," I whispered as the tears started to fall down to my chest. 
"Don't be sorry, darlin'. Can you do something for me?" He asked calmly.
"Yeah." I managed to respond between sniffles. 
"Wait in the hallway." He replies, rubbing my shoulder reassuringly. I give him a confused look before he starts talking again, "I don't want you to see this."
Realization washes over me. "You gonna eat him?" 
"Just - just wait in the hallway." He says as he pulls me up to my feet. "Okay?"
"Okay," I mumble as I slowly make my way out of the room. I lean up against the wall and close my eyes. It's only a minute before I hear the vaultie begging.
"Stop. Stop Stop." The vaultie pleaded, "Please, I know it's hard out here but you don't, you don't have, you don't have to resort to... to..."
"What'd you say your name was?" Cooper asks her.
"Lucy MacLean." The vaultie replies hesitantly. 
"MacLean?" Cooper asks a hint of recognition in his voice. "Huh. Well, Lucy MacLean, it ain't all peaches and marmalade left up here, sweetheart. Sometimes a fella gotta eat another fella." 
Even from the hallway, I could hear the squishing from whatever he was doing in there. I felt nausea settle into my stomach, whether from the radiation or what Cooper was doing in the other room, I didn't know.
"You know, my vault has endured hardship too," Lucy said, pushing back. In the great plague of '77, everyone had to quarantine, they couldn't work the farms together, people starved. My mother included. My dad dropped to 128 pounds, and he still refused to do anything like this."
Cooper let out a deep chuckle at her words.
"What? What's so funny?" She asked, her voice dripping with venom.
"Well, there's what people say they did and what they really did." Cooper said, his accusation heavy in the air. "I'll bet your daddy was first in line at the cookout. I bet he had a bib with a drawing of his neighbor's ass on there."
"How do you live like this?" Lucy asks. "You obviously know it's wrong you sent her to the other room. So how do you do it? Why keep going?"
I open my eyes slowly at the mention of me. I didn't know if I could ever live like that, so Lucy's question piqued my interest as well. There was a heavy silence as I heard Cooper's footsteps making his way across the room.
"Well, one good question deserves another," Cooper responds, his voice was dark, sending a shiver down my spine. "Why the fuck am I doin' all the work? Now come on vaultie, ass jerky don't make itself."
This was a side of Cooper that I had not seen since the night we met. Ruthless. Cruel. It made me wonder was this who he really was. Or was the sweetness he has shown me his true self? It was probably a little bit of both. The silence in the building was deafening. It was a moment before I heard Lucy's soft footsteps in the sand. 
"She is actually gonna do it." I thought to myself in horror, letting out a soft gasp. 
Once they made their way out of the room, Lucy's hands were covered in blood and she had an empty expression on her face. She was clearly traumatized by what she had to do to Roger. Cooper didn't look at me as they made their way past. "Come on, darlin'."
-
It felt like forever since the incident with Roger, but it was hard to forget as his skin hung from Cooper's pack. The three of us hiked in silence, tension had returned to Cooper and me as neither of us knew what to say to the other. Cooper had started coughing some time ago. This filled me with dread, we needed to get him some Radaway fast. Let alone, myself. I was getting sicker by the minute as I struggled with the poisoning from the river. My feet dragged in the sand behind Cooper as I struggled to keep up. 
Cooper dipped his canteen into some water pooled in an old barrel. My chest filled with jealousy. I ran out of water some time ago and the lack of food and water was becoming painful. He made eye contact with Lucy as she watched him drink. This wasn't the first time he had teased her about her lack of water. Desperate for a sip, she fell to her knees in front of the water, scooping it into her mouth. 
"Now you're gettin' it." Cooper mused as he watched her. "How does that golden rule jibe with what's goin' through your head right now?" 
"What are you?" Lucy asked angrily.
"Oh I'm you, sweetie, just give it a little time." He responded.
"Because of the radiation poisoning?" I asked, my voice cracking from dehydration.
Cooper turned to me with a serious look on his face, "Not gonna happen to you darlin'."
I gave him a small nod before I squeaked out, "Okay." I trusted him completely. 
As a coughing fit took over the ghoul, Lucy took her chance to make a run for it. I was torn between chasing after her and staying to comfort Cooper. Cooper started waving after her, signaling for me to chase her.
"Hey! Stop!" I yelled as I ran after her.
As we rounded the corner, she stopped to stare at the huge crater in the ground. I ran up next to her as I also marveled at the sight. I had never seen anything like that before. Suddenly, Cooper's lasso secured itself around Lucy's midsection as he pulled her down onto the ground.
"Where you think you're goin'? You ain't goin' nowhere." Cooper said as he stepped over her, leaning down to grab her face.
Lucy immediately responded by biting onto his finger and ripping it off with her teeth.
"Oh my god?!" I gasped out as I ran toward them. "Cooper."
He continued to keep his attention on Lucy. "There you are, you little killer." He said as he lifted her to her feet before grabbing ahold of her matching finger and cutting it off with his knife. "Now that right there is the closest thing to an honest exchange that we've had so far." He pocketed her finger before reaching down to pick up his own. "Here darlin'," He said as he handed me the rope that was tied to Lucy. 
I hesitantly took it as I watched him rummage around in his pack for a small rag to wrap his finger in. 
"You don't hurt, right?" I asked him.
"Don't feel a thing, sugar." He said smiling as he took the rope back from me. 
This exchange seemed to have depleted Lucy's resolve completely as she quietly obeyed from there on out. It wasn't long after that that we reached an old building with the word SuperDuperMart written on it. It was surrounded by a broken-down fence and had some old cars in the front of the building. I was nervous, but Cooper's confidence calmed me as we approached the building.
"Transaction," Cooper said as he pressed on some sort of communication device. He threw his bag into the dirt next to him. He looked tired.
"Yes?" Someone responded.
"Two month's supply of vials. Exchange one female mint condition." He stated before looking over at Lucy's hand, "Near mint condition."
"Condition grading requires physical evaluation. Please send her in." The voice responded, there was something strange about the voice that I couldn't recognize. It almost didn't sound human.
The door to the building buzzes and slowly opens. Lucy watched it with concern evident in her eyes, "What's in there?" She asked.
"You're about to find out," Cooper replies as he cuts the rope that bound her wrists.
"You're selling me?" Lucy asks, a look of disbelief on her face.
Cooper pulls a gun from his hip and cocks it, "You got problems out here too, sweetheart. Best you try your luck behind that door. Go on." He says as he shoves her.
I watch on from behind Cooper as Lucy shuffles her way into the building, giving a nervous look back before she enters.
Once she enters, Cooper deflates. He was obviously putting on a show for her. Pretending he wasn't as sick as he really was. "Y/n?"
"Cooper?" I ask breathlessly.  
Instead of responding, the ghoul collapsed.
"Cooper!" I yell out as I shake him. His eyes are open and he's still awake but for some reason, he was not able to move. 
I pushed the button he was using to communicate with the man inside the building. "He can't wait he needs it now!" Only to get no response. "We will give you another person! A female near mint conditon." I say, describing myself.
Cooper whispered out, "No." I could barely hear him. 
I crouch down next to him and place his hat next to him, "It's my turn to take care of you." I declared, giving him a sad smile. 
I took his gun and tried to shoot the door to break it. I had never used a gun before, so it took me a minute or two to figure out. The glass, however, appeared to be bulletproof. 
"Shit," I mumbled before placing the gun on the ground. 
I then decided to try and pry the door open with no such luck. I run between the cars around us, searching for anything I can use to open the door. In one of them, I find a crowbar. "Yes!" I yell happily as I run back to the door. I wrestled with it for a while before I finally was able to get the crowbar inside, finally, I had some progress. I yelled out in frustration as I tried to open the door. It was the heaviest thing I have ever felt in my life. Moving it just an inch took more strength than I had, especially in my state. 
After a couple minutes of struggling, I collapsed to the ground in exhaustion. I looked over at Cooper only to see he hadn't loved an inch. "Cooper?" I call out as I crawl towards him. I sit next to him and gently lift his head onto my lap, rolling him onto his back. "You'll be okay," I say quietly before looking up at the door. I was hoping that soon they would come out to give him the vials he was owed. The silence felt like it had been going on forever when there were suddenly gunshots coming from inside the building. I help Cooper a little closer, afraid and confused. I grabbed his gun again and held it close to my side. 
"I've got you, Coop," I whispered to him.
The building then went silent again. There was a moment before Lucy strolled out the door, covered in blood. 
"Lucy? What happened?" I gasp.
"They were going to harvest my fucking organs!" She yelled angrily as she sauntered over to us. 
I shakily hold up my gun, causing her to stop in her tracks. 
"He doesn't get these, he turns into one of those? That how it works?" She asked, holding up a couple vials. 
I lower the gun and start begging. "Please, Lucy."
She crouches down next to him and contemplates for a moment before saying to Cooper, "I may end up looking like you... but I'll never be like you." Before getting up, she gently puts some vials in my hand. "Golden rule, motherfuckers."
"Thank you! Thank you so much!" I cry out happily as I start rummaging through Cooper's pockets searching for his inhaler. "I've got you, I've got you.." I kept repeating as I shakily put the vial in the inhaler and hold it up to his mouth. It takes a couple tries, but ultimately, he gets ahold of it and breathed in the contents. I make a happy squeak as he starts to move again. 
He lets out a soft wheeze before saying 'Why the hell would you do that?" 
"What?" I asked him confused.
"You were going to fucking sell yourself? For me?" He states angrily as he sits up to a sitting position. 
"Well-" I start.
"Well, nothing. Never do that again." He shouts as he stands, pulling me up by my collar. The fear on my face softened him as he released my shirt with a sigh, "I ain't worth it, darlin'."
"You are to me," I say quietly. "You are never getting rid of me."
He lets out a small laugh as he smiles wearily, his resolve dimishing. "You are way too good for me, sugar."
"Well too bad, Cooper. You've got me." I say as kiss him on the cheek.
Just as I was pulling away he grabbed hold of my hip "Come here." He says as his lips crash into mine. 
I let out a squeak in surprise before I started to return the kiss. It was sloppy and heated, filled with pent-up emotions. It was everything I wanted.
Tag list: @msrawog @valdemarismynonbinarylove @topiramategreeable @whizbang-cap @sitkafay @lightan117 @eykismyfav @ajeff855 @madelinealexandra @justme12200 @sihlaryn @raviolisenpai @ellabellabunny123 @impossessedbyjeongyeon @leviathanleva @v3lv3tf0x @judgementdays-girl @savanahc @booksbabes @gauky76 @green--beanie
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Text
At who's the best at
Paige Bueckers x Fem reader
Warnings: Slowburn (?), curses, sexual inunendos
A/N: I couldn't think of a title 😭 I am so sorry. Other characters are from my imagination, they are not related to NCAA at all. Had to get this ideas out of my head.
Y/N was panting, hands on her knees after doing laps across the court. Today is hell, Geno is not taking it easy on them, the training is tougher compared to the previous months as their team is advancing to Elite 8. She thanked the cardio gods for being on her favor today or she will pass out. Taking one last deep breath, she put her both hands on her waist and walked towards the three point shot perimeter. Qadence pats her on the back while she is dribbling for a three point shot.
"Take it easy babe." She nodded at Qadence before shooting the ball. Another miss.
"Miller!" Geno motioned to come to him. Y/N sighed and jog towards her coach's direction.
"Kid, do you see this?" Geno handed her his clipboaard with her stats on it.
"This is from the last game against Duke."
Y/N scanned her stats, and it is much better progress compared to their match against Sycaruse and Jackson State.
"Yeah and it will get more better if you can hoop today. What the hell is wrong Miller? Shade and Edwards blocked you three times today. You don't get blocked thrice based on these stats. What's wrong kid?"
Y/N didn't respond and remain silent. It shows in the practice that she is preoccupied today.
"Nothing Geno, it's just......" she trailed off thinking of what she should say.
"I'll do better. I'll make sure to clear my mind before practice so I can focus." Y/N continued, bowing her head slightly. She had to prove to UConn women's basketball team that they will not regret accepting her back when she transferred here during her 2nd year. But Geno doesn't seem to be convinced of her answer.
"Alright. I am expecting much better results in our next practice. We can't make excuses once USC had our asses in our match. Go take a swim or a run in your neighborhood or whatever later, you're not yourself today and I don't want to see you like a vegetable during practice."
Y/N nodded and Geno gave her an encouraging pat on the back before letting her go back to practice. It made her feel a little better but her day is still shitty.
----
Y/N's phone keeps vibrating, this is the umpteenth time her parents called her today. She doesn't want to answer it, it will be divorce probably. It already threw her game off today and she doesn't want to ruin her day more by answering it.
Mum:
talk to me hun, please
Hun, we are sorry, I know this will be hard for you.
Do you hate us?
I'm sorry, love. It's not working anymore between me and your dad.
Dad:
Peanut, please answer your phone.
I'm sorry.
We wanted to tell you for a long time.
---
Y/N turned off her phone. With a deep sigh, she ate her tacos. She's got a lot on her plate now, her studies, her upcoming match, and now her parents divorce. She wanted to take a break.
"Boo, you okay? You're preocuppied the whole day." KK finally asked. Her teammates have been giving each other knowing looks and tiptoeing around her all day. They are not used to her being silent. She went out with them tonight hoping it will take off some things in her mind.
"I'm fine girl. Just woke up on the wrong side of the bad today." She smiled at KK. She's not ready to talk yet not until she's able to come to terms with her family.
"You suck, Miller. Paige is getting full of herself today and you're too preoccupied to humble her."
Paige almost choked on her shirley temple, she took a napkin and wiped her mouth.
"Me? Full of myself? Come on Aubs." Paige scoffs.
"Miller just realized today I don't need humbling, I'm actually good." Paige raised her eyebrows playfully followed by their teammates violent reactions.
Y/N grinned. She had to thank Paige for diverting their teammates from pressing on what's going on with her. The subject of being the best shooter between her or Paige became a daily banter. Paige was not unwelcoming when Y/N transferred in UConn but her competitive ass made sure to show why she was here first instead of Y/N. Y/N admits that Paige is actually better than her and the best all rounder, her transferring here seemed challenged the latter on who's best at what. She doesn't know why Paige thinks she has competition when she is actually the best. She likes to get on Paiges nerves so she gets along with Paige's imaginary contest.
"Get outta here Bueckers, I can do what you did earlier even with a hangover" Y/N said, giving Paige a sheepish grin. Paige made 43 consecutive 3 point shots, it got into her head today without Y/N beating it. It always annoy Paige when Y/N's record is close or beat hers.
"Oi, enough you two." Azzi stopped them before it could start to bickering. Y/N raised both her hands in surrender. She took a sip of her margaritas while still giving Paige a cocky grin. Now the latter looks annoyed.
They continued having fun, dancing and drinking. Y/N didn't move that much from her seat, she's tired and the margarita must've probabaly hit already.
"I'm just gonna go to the restroom." She excused herself. Feeling dizzy Y/n groaned, guess she will have that hangover tomorrow.
She decided to turn on her phone and was still bombarded with texts from her parents. Her mum's name popped on the screen and decided to answer it finally.
"Honey, I'm glad you answered. I've been calling all day." Her mom sounded worried on the other line.
"Sorry mum. Busy."
Her mother sighed. Y/N doesn't exactly know what to say, she is still processing that her parents will have a divorce. Out of 23 damn years, they just decided now that they don't need each other?
"Honey I.... I am so sorry. If you could come home soon we could have a talk, with your dad and I."
Y/N rolled her eyes.
"I am not going home, mom. California is 2000 miles away, I have an upcoming game in 2 weeks, and I am busy for my finals. What's the point? Your going to sell the house anyway now that you are getting divorce."
She didn't mean to sound mad over the phone, but she is really upset.
"I will call you when I am ready to talk to you both. If you two want a divorce, fine, but give me time to process that my parents don't need each other anymore after 23 damn years."
She didn't wait for her mother's response and hang up.
------
Paige went back to their booth joined by a tipsy Nika after their teammates are gone to god knows where. Dancing or probably making out with someone.
"Hey P, have fun! You're awfully behave tonight. Loosen up, it's weekend tomorrow."
Nika nudged her and throw an arm over her shoulder.
"I'm good, Ma. I don't want hangover tomorrow. Besides, someone has to stay sober to make sure you all get home safely."
Nika scoffed, rolling her eyes at her teammate. It's their last free night before Geno will give them total hell in preparation against their match with USC.
"You're boring me P. I'll go join the others and have fun being miserable here. Have you se---" Nika wasn't able to finish her sentence when a commotion started in the middle of the bar. Recognizing the 6 foot tall asses of their teammates in the scuffle, the two ran towards their direction.
"What in the fuck happened?" Nika felt her slight tipsiness gone, helping KK reach Ayanna who's ready to take a swing to an athlete from Yale. The bouncers are trying to separate them before it ends up to a total brawl. Paige scanned where the others are and her eyes landed on Y/N, her sleeves are up, Aubrey blocking her from punching another Yale athlete.
"You don't talk shit here, dawg. Go back to New Haven and fuck your slutty girlfriend!"
Paige grabbed Y/N by the waist and dragged her out of the scene. For someone who is always cool and at her composure, she was surprised that Miller can trash talk.
"Calm down, Miller. You don't get to injure that million dollar hands." With Azzi trailing behind, she brought Y/N outside and pinned her on the wall to calm her down. She looks disheveled, some of her locks escaped from her ponytail, her face is red, her sleeves are uneven and she is reeking of alcohol. What a total mess.
"What in the world was that Y/N, I know you guys don't start fights but you all are better than this. Gosh, how many drinks did you have? You are reeking of alcohol!" Azzi said frustrated.
Y/N scoffs, wiping some sweat on her forehead. Paige couldn't agree more with Azzi. They don't start fights, Y/N never looses her cool even during their banters at who is best, intense matches and bad calls from ref. Paige wonders what made her so worked up that she almost punch someone today.
"Nah, I was cool Az. I took shots from everyone, sorry I lost count."
The 2 of them grimaced. They check Y/N if she had any injuries, Geno will kill them if they are scathed and once he hears about this. Azzi wonders as to why Yale women's basketball are in Storrs. That's like an hour drive just for a night's drink.
"God you are drunk and you can take a fight." Paige said amused. She never saw Y/N got drunk because she never was.
"Oh yeah Bueckers, wanna try? Let's take it here outside." Y/N stood straight, her face annoyed.
Well that was hot. Paige thought. She raised her hands in surrender before Y/N gets totally pissed. Y/N haven't landed a punch but it might be on Paige if she triggers the latter. Azzi gave her a scolding look.
"Chill, Ma. T'was a compliment."
Y/N rolled her eyes and leaned against the wall again. She's starting to feel hazy.
"What did they do anyway?" Azzi asked.
"Douchebag's girlfriend was offering me a drink, I declined. She thought I want to fuck her slutty girlfriend and proceeds to call us defects, the others heard it, we didn't mind until she pushed Aaliyah."
Paige clenched her jaw and Azzi rubs her temple. Half of the team suffered injury in the past year. Paige wished she hadn't grabbed Y/N and let her land her fist first before fleeing from the scene, it was uncalled for. Drunken Miller surprised them tonight, they didn't know that her mouth can talk.
"That's it, we are all getting home. I'm gonna go get the others." Azzi left them outside.
"Yeah Azzi and tell that cunt to fuck her girlfriend properly."
Paige shook her head. Y/N is definitely the highlight of tonight's event.
"What got you so worked up today, Miller? You almost took it out on someone."
KK was right, Y/N was preoccupied. She didn't have any baskets during practice. Paige had 29 3 points in a row today, usually Y/N comes close or even beat her. It's unusual for someone who plays ball since 5th grade, she just did laps all day.
Y/N groans. "I'll talk about it tomorrow when I'm sober. can you take me home please? Paige."
Paige, licked her lips and pretends to think about it. She's gonna do it anyway.
"I never thought you were into girls." Paige blurted out. She mentally slapped herself right after. Her intrusive thoughts won.
"You guys never asked. I never said I was into boys either. So annoying."
For some reason, Paige couldn't keep her smile off. She was grinning like and idiot. Y/N noticed and she rolled her eyes, Paige looks stupid.
"You look like an idiot Bueckers."
"Maybe I am."
She twirls her car keys and they started to walk where she parked her car. She's behind Y/N who's trying to keep a straight-face and herself from stumbling.
Azzi and KK following them, KK still heated from the commotion earlier and keeps trash talking. Azzi is trying to cover her mouth for being loud. KK, Azzi, Nika and Y/N rode with Paige. The others were at Aaliyah's car since they live together in the same apartment. Paige shook her head, they are all dead on Monday.
-------
Y/N woke up, her head pounding and throat dry. She groaned when she tried to get up. She knew immediately it was bad last night to have a hangover like this, she rarely gets drunk and when she does, she has it bad. She jolted up when realizes that this is not her room. The bed sheet is purple, there are Miami Heat posters everywhere and the trophies are too many to be hers. Not until she saw the familiar number 5 jersey hanging on the wall.
"Fuck, what did I do last night." She whispered to herself. This must be Paige's room. She tries recalling the events of last night and vaguely remembers the Yale athlete talking shit. She almost got involved in a brawl.
Y/N got up from bed only to realize that she is wearing Paige's clothes, it's one of her old team USA shirts, nothing else and her boxers. It's already 2 in the afternoon, she could hear the ruckus outside Paige's room and KK's rambunctious laugh.
She opened the door and was greeted by the chaos of her teammates.
Y/N winced when the pounding of her head hits again. She sat down on one of the bean bags and leaned her head back trying to ease the headache. In an instant, Paige handed her a bottle of water and a tylenol. She gave Paige what is this for ? look.
"Your hangover, duh."
"Ya'll our sleeping beauty is awake." KK sat beside her but she was waiving where Ice was. Ice was doing live on the corner, and she didn't realize that where she is is being captured. Gosh she looks horrible.
"Guys, they wanna know something. You remember we did a tiktok of who among in the team you don't want your kid to date..... They want the opposite."
Qadence was quick to shout "Aaliyah" followed by KK's "Y/N"
"Yeah, I'll go with Y/N too." Ice agreed
"Y/N will throw hands, I'll bet on her too." Aubrey added.
" 'bout you, Paige?"
The team groaned when Paige showed her "rizz hands."
"Will we go further? I'll let my kid date myself." The team erupted in disagreement. Nika throws a pillow towards Paige's direction. "Dream on Bueckers!" Y/N shakes her head too.
Paige is a gender bender, the amount of fans she has be it a boy or a girl is insane. She may look like a fuck-boy type but she'll be a good girlfriend, the question though is, can they take her superstar life?
"Y/N, they wanted to know who you want your kid to date." Ice turned towards her. Y/N straightened her back a little, enough only to face Ice.
"No one, you guys loves ball more than relationships." Everyone burst in laughter.
"You heard our homie? We're not playboys/playgirls, basketball is life." Ice said in live while giving a thumbs up.
"Nawww! she's just playing safe!" KK shouted.
" Y/N is so fine, I think I'll start watching live " Ice reading through comments.
Y/N suddenly felt conscious. She moved where the camera can't see her so she can deal with what's left of her hangover.
" Does Y/N have a boyfriend or what? Saw her in Stanford before and what the hell is she doing on the court, go model in a runway or something--- Yo! Someone said you should model Y/N!" KK is reading along with Ice now.
Y/N blushed on the compliment(?). She couldn't think of herself as someone who walks on a runway or pose for a magazine aside from playing ball. She's no Cameron Brink who could pass that criteria.
"Maaaaan, they are all whipped to our girly pop. We've been gatekeeping our secret weapon."
Some of her teammates joined KK and Ice in reading the comments.
"Y/N c'mere they want to see you."
Y/N doesn't want to be rude by not saying even a "hi" but she really feels shit right now. She look around the room and her eyes landed on Paige, begging for help.
"Y'all sorry but Miller is not feeling well, you'll get to see her in Gampel soon. Be sure to be there." Paige shouted while throwing an arm around Y/N's shoulder. They are both far from the camera, Y/N waived though from where they are.
"Thank God." Y/N muttered and leaned on Paige's shoulder and she felt her stiffened.
Ice wrapped up her live leaving disappointed viewers to only see a glimpse of Y/N. All of them went back to their chaotic self.
--------
A/N: Please stay tuned for the next part. I think I have a hangover too 🤮. Wrote this when we were at the bar. Feedbacks and suggestions are open.
ALSO..... DOES ANYONE KNOWS WHO DOES THE GIRLS HAIRS DURING THEIR GAMES? DO THEY HAVE A HAIRSTYLIST OR WHAT?? PLEASE HELP A GIRL OUT. 😌
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softpine · 2 days
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can i just word vomit for a min...
there was a point in late 2023 where i felt like i overstayed my welcome on simblr and i planned on just wrapping frozen pines up as quickly as possible and moving on. continuing to write when it's clear that the audience for it is dwindling felt so embarrassing that i almost didn't even want to put effort into it anymore, because i was afraid it just looked pathetic (obligatory disclaimer: no one made me feel this way, you're all so lovely, it's just the nature of seeing a community change over 7 years). writing already feels very personal to me and it's becoming increasingly harder for me to put my work out there (again, for reasons unrelated to simblr and entirely related to mental illness 🤙🏻). i know my story is so long that it deters new readers, and so sporadic that it makes old readers drop off with time. this has really been bothering me lately because i don't know what i can do to fix it. i don't think there IS anything i can do.
but. okay. don't make fun of me for saying this. dan and phil returning to youtube kinda changed my mindset? they may be pulling a fraction of the views they got in their peak, but they're happier than they've ever been and they're working on things they actually want to do, not things they think will be particularly popular. seeing that has made me realize that it is possible to keep finding joy in a community that has largely moved on without you. obviously my little blog is nowhere near the same scale, so this feels kind of silly, but i've been thinking about all the things i used to do on simblr that were never fun for me, i mainly did them because i knew they would get notes or because i felt like i had to do it. making cc, lookbooks, sim requests, reshade help (oh my god the reshade help), lot downloads, etc. they DID get notes, but i can't imagine spending my time doing any of that stuff ever again tbh.
on top of that, it makes me sad to scroll through my dash and realize that i don't recognize most of the people i see anymore. i still talk to some wonderful people here who i consider friends and that's invaluable to me (💖), but the broader community aspect is something i no longer feel a part of. and believe me, i know i'm at fault here because it's not like i'm going out of my way to talk to new people or participate in trends like i used to. i don't blame anyone except the passage of time!!
frozen pines, and simblr by extension, played such a gigantic part in my life when i needed it the most. and that's not to say that i don't still care about it, because i absolutely do, but it's a different kind of feeling. i've always promised that i would give frozen pines a satisfying conclusion rather than silently abandoning it someday, and though i do intend to keep that promise, i know it's possible that i might never get there. but i don't want to let my own insecurities get in the way of something i really enjoy doing. writing is an intrinsic piece of me that i'll never quit doing, but sharing my writing on tumblr is something that can't (and shouldn't) last forever. i know that. but i'm going to enjoy it to the fullest while we're all still here together 💞
to anyone who's still reading my silly story after all these years (especially those of you who still check in on my blog even though you're not on simblr anymore): thank you thank you thank you THANK YOUUU. you don't have to change a single thing about what you're doing. this is not me fishing for compliments or putting down an ultimatum, this is just me trying to make sense of my feelings.
but with all this being said, i've decided to quit simblr and start my own exclusive streaming service for $60 a year, i hope you'll all support me as i increase my production value 😌
(just kidding. ily. okay that's all)
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70 notes · View notes
elllisaaa · 2 days
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Can you do sub Beomgyu smut?
[cuz I'm a female dom, and I absolutely fucking love hove bratty he is and his whines make me- well, wet]
uk those fics where the reader, teases them in public and they punish xer/xim in the bathrooms/public???
can you do that with sub beomgyu, and rough and dom reader[any gender is fine, preferrably female]?
only if you're comfortable though...
ALL MINE - C. BEOMGYU
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-> pairing : brat sub!beomgyu x fem dom!reader
-> words count : 1.6k
-> genre : smut
-> warnings : dom/sub dynamic, teasing, dirty talk, praising, semi-public sex, face slapping, cock slapping, gagging, humiliation, bondage, choking, use of 'good boy', 'whore', 'slut' and 'miss', handjob, cum eating
+ the way i'm depicting beomgyu does not represent him, it's only a work of fiction.
-> 18+ content bellow, minors dni
-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language
-> author's note : i fucking love to write subby men, and beomgyu and his bratty attitude gives me the perfect opportunity to do so. as you said, he gives out that vibe so much ! it was so fun to write this, thank you anonie, hope you'll enjoy this !
-> masterlist | txt masterlist
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Going out with your friends had always been an activity that you liked, the feeling of joy when you reunited with them couldn’t be compared to anything else. But now that you were taking Beomgyu with you, it was even more fun. Why ? Because he wanted to impress your friends so badly, he wanted to make a good impression on them. That’s why he kept trying to present himself in a good light, and acting as if he was the one leading your relationship when you both knew that behind closed doors, you had him on his knees for you. 
Despite that being well established, and your rules being really strict, Beomgyu had been not so subtly touching you the whole night : putting his hand on your thigh, leaning in to whisper some dirty things in your ears, and even taking your own hand to bring it closer to his crotch under the restaurant table. Not that you particularly minded playing this type of game in public, but it wasn’t how it was supposed to go. You had made it clear to him before going out - that he will get his reward for having been good all week if he did one last thing for you, which simply consisted in behaving and not teasing you during this dinner out. 
After spending two years together, you thought that you would have finally succeeded in taming his bratty attitude. But no. It was coming out every now and then, and always when you were the most frustrated and had the least patience left. It was almost as if Beomgyu had a second sense that allowed him to know when to mess with you just so he could get punished harshly. Well, truth be told, maybe it was exactly why he was doing this - because he knew that the way you were going to torture him will be delicious. 
“- Haven’t I made it clear, baby ? Keep your hands off me tonight and you’ll get what you want, okay ?”
Beomgyu threw his best pleading eyes at you, still not listening to your orders as you felt his fingers creep up higher underneath your dress. You let out an exasperated sigh, pushing his hand away from you. Under the guise of getting closer to you, your boyfriend nuzzled his head in your neck, whining in your ears.
“- But I need you so bad, I’ve been good, just let me touch you, I’ll be quick.
- You know what, you wanna be a slut and a brat ? You’re gonna get punished instead. Go to the bathroom and wait for me.”
For once, Beomgyu listened, getting up from the table and excusing himself. You let some minutes go by, and when you felt like he had been marinating for long enough, you got to the bathroom too, saying that you were going to see if your boyfriend was doing good.  
“- You’re not even able to not touch yourself for ten minutes ? You’re a fucking whore Beomgyu.
- Y-Yes but only for you.”
His cocky smile despite his shake voice and his hands stroking his clothed boner made you want to break him, to wipe the smug look in his eyes. You entered fully in the small cabin of the bathroom, pushing him to sit down on the toilets. You locked the door behind you and detached the ribbon you put in your hair before going out. 
“- Give me your hands. 
- No.”
The loud sound your hand produced when you slapped him echoed in the bathroom along with the moan he let out. You grabbed his hair roughly, tugging on them to get him to look at you. His once confident look was now completely gone, his eyes glassy and he was almost ready to drop on his knees. But he loved to test your patience even more. So he still didn’t give you his hands, and moaned again when you slapped his other cheek. 
“- You’re getting on my fucking nerves Beomgyu, if you wanna cum you better give me your hands.”
Without saying a word, he did it and you tied them together with your little pink ribbon. It was quite funny how you were always dressed so cute, with cute little make-up and cute little hairpins, but once you were alone with him, you turned into the nastiest little demon. And Beomgyu loved this contrast, loved to know how people could never suspect the real dynamic of your couple. 
“- See ? You know how to be good so behave.
- But I don’t wanna.
- You will when I’ll make you cry. All it takes is for me to touch your small dick and you’re begging for me to let you cum, right ?”
Beomgyu wanted to protest, to say something, but you were already squeezing his hard cock through his clothes, stroking him at a quick pace, that had him squirming in place and whimpering out loud. Your other hand came up to his throat, getting a firm hold of it, enough to shut him up a little. 
“- Y/N… Baby, baby…
- What ? You’re complaining now ? You’ve got what you wanted though, or is it still not enough for you, fucking slut ?”
Your boyfriend nodded as he tried to free his hands from the ribbons, but you had grown too used to tying him up because he was constantly acting up. It felt good to be completely at your mercy, but he also wanted to touch you, wanted to feel and lick your skin, wanted to grip on the flesh of your ass while you bounced on his cock and milked him dry. 
“- You’re so greedy. You’re gonna take what I give if you wanna cum, understood ? 
- A-And if I don’t want t-to ?”
A sinister smile spread on your lips, your hand squeezing his throat harder, making him choke on his own words. 
“- Then you don’t cum at all.”
You let go of his cock, going as far as taking a step back and Beomgyu’s eyes opened wider. He tried to reach your hand and pull you back to him, but his tied wrists wouldn’t allow it and he let out a desperate whine. 
“- No, no, no, I need to cum !
- Beg for it.”
He shook his head and earned himself another slap, his cheeks starting to get red, and not only because of the unbearable heat of his body. But he loved how much it stinged everytime you hit him again. Beomgyu let out another loud moan when you slapped his cock over his clothes this time, and you shoved two fingers inside his mouth, smirking at the way he gagged around them, and at how quickly his eyes welled up with tears.
“- I said, beg for it. Are you ready to be good now ?”
You slapped his hard on once more, staring at his face when a tear rolled down his left cheek, saliva starting to drip down his chin and neck. When you pulled your fingers out, he was a mess, and you knew you had finally ruined him for the day.
“- Please, please miss I’ll be your good boy now, I’ll do everything you want, just let me cum please, please !
- There we go baby, was it so difficult, uh ?”
When you slipped your hand in his boxer to touch him for real after having been deprived from the skin to skin contact for such a long time made him cry out so loud you had to shut him up with your fingers again, fearing that someone would hear him.
“- You want everyone to hear you, is that it ? Screaming like the slut you are because you love the attention ?”
Beomgyu tried to protest, tried to say that he only wanted to be good for you, that he made all these noises because he knew you loved it when he was loud, but the pleasure was already overtaking his body and all his senses. The rush of adrenaline this situation was giving him made him feel so overwhelmed he felt like he could cum right now. He grabbed the only thing he could reach -  the fabric of your dress - to catch your attention, his muffled noises giving away how close he was to his release. 
“- What is it baby ? You’re close already ?”
You chuckled when he vigorously nodded his head, closing his eyes to focus on him and trying to delay his orgasm because you hadn’t given him permission to cum.
“- I’ll let you cum then, but on one condition baby. You’re gonna stain your pretty pants with your cum, and then we’re gonna leave. And if you follow my rules for once, I’ll reward you once we get home. Did you understand ?”
He nodded once again, his hips jerking into your hand as if they had a mind on their own. 
“- Then go on baby, cum all over yourself, be my good boy.”
The last praise that you whispered in his ear did it for him. He came all over your hand and himself, a wet patch quickly forming on his blue jeans as he whined around your fingers, his own hands tugging on the material of your dress to pull you closer to him. Before he could even register what you were doing, you showed him your hand covered in his cum, and Beomgyu didn’t need you to ask him before he started cleaning you off, eating his own release from your skin. Once you were satisfied, you finally detached his hands, letting him pull you into a hug and bury his head against your stomach while you threaded your fingers through his hair. 
“- You did so good for me baby, such a good boy.”
He hummed in agreement, his hands sliding from your lower back to your ass, giving them a squeeze. 
“- Does this mean I earned my reward ?
- Don’t get too confident now, you still have to make it up to me for ruining my night out with my friends.”
And Beomgyu agreed with you, because that meant he would spend the next two hours with his head buried between your thighs - his favorite way to apologize.
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-> i don't allow any copies, translations or reposts of my works.
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txt taglist (fill in this to be added) :
@bbgnyx @hann1bee @iraisswiftie @lichyuu @foxinnie8
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allysunny · 16 hours
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Hi! Can I pls request dating headcanons for Bale Batman with a female reader who used to works as his assistant but now helps Alfred with batman related work? Like reader is not a superhero but helps Alfred with his duty? Also reader is a very sunshiny person, kind and loving? Thank you ❤️
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Lover's Liaison
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Pairing: Bale!Bruce Wayne x Fem!Reader
Words: 5.7 words
Warnings: Lots of fluff, workplace relationship, kissing and making out, lots of fluff, lots of pining, idiots in love, suggestive themes and one mention of oral sex but nothing too explicit, use of the word "Batmanning", this was written on the span of 3 weeks so I'm sorry if it sucks or isn't coherent?? Not proofread omg I'm so sorry! If I forgot anything, do let me know!!!
A/N: Hey everyone!!! Oh my god!!! I finally got around to write this one request that I got mixed up a few weeks ago!!!! I love this dynamic so much and want this man to be my boss only for me to bring him coffee and massage his shoulders omg...
As stated in the warnings though, I am in the middle of my final evaluations and exams, so this was written over the span of like,, 3 weeks. I apologise if some things are not coherent or repetitive, I am trying my best but uni is kicking my ass.
Anyway, I'm sorry it took so long anon!!!! I hope you enjoy this <3
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Being Bruce Wayne’s assistant meant a lot of things.
It meant you sometimes pulled all-nighters when your boss decided 8 hours of work simply wasn’t enough.
“Ah, I'm so sorry, but I'm busy that day,” you said sheepishly after Mr. Rivers from Accountancy asked you out for dinner. 
“Come on princess, can’t you tell your big boss to give you a free night? A pretty thing like you shouldn't have to work that much. C’mon, let me show you how a real man should treat you.” He said, cornering you against a desk and inching his hand closer and closer to your waist. 
You looked away uncomfortably, silently praying for him to sense your discomfort and walk away. You didn't want to hurt his feelings or make him mad. You were afraid he’d take it out on you, or worse, on Bruce, by causing harm to his company - and you couldn't have that. 
“Mr. Rivers, I – “ 
“Chet, please. Do call me Chet.” 
“Mr. Rivers,” you repeated, pressing uncomfortably against the desk, not wanting the man’s hands on your body. “Please, this is hardly appropriate. I must go back to my office, and – and – “ 
“I’m sure your boss will understand. You can’t possibly tell me he’s hired you for your skills now, can you? He understands you’re a pretty girl. Surely, he should've known someone would snatch you up, hm?” Mr. Rivers’s grin was catlike, in the worst way possible. You could smell the alcohol on his breath and tears welled up in your eyes at his insinuation. Surely that was not all Mr. Wayne had hired you for, right? He complimented you on your choice of clothing, sure, and he’d once or twice gifted you pieces he said he knew you’d look lovely on. But he had also more than once commended your work ethic, thanked you for your efficiency and praised your skills. He valued you as an employee, not just someone he could look at. Right? 
“Actually, Mr. Rivers, I employ all of my workers based on their skills,” a voice boomed behind the accountant, firm and unwavering. Chet Rivers turned around only to be met with Bruce Wayne’s hard, stony gaze. “And it seems I clearly must've made a mistake with you, because if I had known you’d be treating my employees like this – especially my personal assistant, I wouldn't have allowed you to set foot in Wayne Enterprises. You disgrace my father’s memory by engaging in this type of behaviour inside the company he built.” 
Mr. Rivers scrambled to find a reply, only to stutter a few times and shake his head, at a complete loss for words. 
“Out. Now. I want your office cleared by the end of the day.” 
“But – But Mr. Wayne, I – I have been in this company for years, I – “
“If your office isn't cleared by the time the clock strikes five, I will personally ensure you will never land another job again and carry around a note claiming you are a known sexual harasser. Are we clear?” Bruce said, eyes darkening.
“I – Sir – “ 
“The clock is ticking. If I were you, I'd make quick work of packing.” 
With a few more incoherent words, the now ex-employee was out the door, and Bruce was slowly walking up to you. He gave you enough space to walk away, should you want to, but kept at a friendly distance, should you want him. 
“Are you okay?” He asked in that sweet voice reserved for his closest people – you. 
You nodded quickly, rubbing your arm in embarrassment. 
“I’m sorry, sir. I didn't want it to come to this, to you firing him. It really was nothing –  “
“Nonsense. He was harassing you. You told him you weren't interested and yet he still pursued you. He should've known ‘no’ is a complete sentence and left you alone. Understood?”
You nodded once again, looking at the floor. Bruce walked even closer and lifted your chin up with your fingers, forcing you to look at him – and yet his grip wasn't bruising. It was soft, feather-like. Bruce touched you as if he was afraid you’d vanish right before his eyes. Maybe he was. 
“It’s not your fault that he acted like an ass. Got it?”
Another nod. 
“Say it for me.”
Your heart would always follow Bruce Wayne. You couldn't refuse anything from him, and so you found yourself whispering a soft “It’s not my fault”, which earned a smile from him. 
“And you’re an amazing worker. You’re efficient and smart, and extremely kind. You're the best personal assistant anyone could've asked for. I hired you for your skills, not your looks. You're extremely competent. The only competent worker around here.” 
You chuckled, familiar with that line. 
“Understood?”
Another curt nod – this one more confident. 
“Say it for me. Please.”
“I’m extremely competent.” 
“That’s my girl.” 
He then seemed to snap back to reality and let go of your face, stepping back. 
“I’ll be in my office for the rest of the afternoon. If you want to, you can have the rest of the day off.”
This caused you to shake your head and smile confidently at him. 
“No need for that. Gotta make sure I do my job, right? Otherwise, who else will?” 
Bruce chuckled at this, and it made your heart flutter. “Exactly.” 
“You haven't eaten yet, so I thought…” you shrugged, handing him the plastic salad containers. 
“What would I do without you?” He asked, looking up from his computer to be met with the most dazzling smile. 
“I’m not sure. But I'm glad I can help.”
“You eaten yet?”
“No sir, not yet.”
“Join me.” 
You didn't have to be asked twice. You found Bruce’s presence relaxing, calm. You liked to be around him. Lunch breaks, just like overtime, allowed you to truly meet the man behind the suit, and you cherish that time with all your heart. It also allowed you to take a good look at him, at his handsome features, his strong jaw and hard eyes that could turn soft within mere seconds. At his lips, so often pressed into a straight line, but also capable of saying the kindest of words. 
Unbeknownst to you, he also took these moments as an opportunity to drink in your beauty. The lovely curve of your face, your sweet lips that managed to brighten up his days, be it with your words or your laughter, the eyes he always looked for when he was nervous, the body he so wished to pull close and worship. 
He was completely whipped by you. And yet he had no idea how to go about it. 
He couldn't just ask you to date him – he was Bruce Wayne. Whoever he dated would be dragged into the public light, and he didn't want people prying into your personal life the way they did to his. Worse than that, he was your boss. He didn't want to taint his company's image by appearing to be some sort of creep who harassed his workers into sleeping or being in relationships with him. He was the boss, of course, and could smother any and all rumours and make sure his company’s image remained the same as his father would have wanted it to be, but most of all, he wanted to protect you. From the scrutiny of coworkers and papers and crazy paparazzi. 
Little did he know, you’d go through all that trouble for him. 
“Be mine,” he said, forehead touching yours as you caught your breath. “Please, be mine. I’m crazy about you, and I can’t keep pretending I’m not. You’re such an incredible woman, so brilliant and bright,” he mumbled, fingers drawing patterns on your skin. “I’m crazy about you. I know I shouldn’t, because I’m your boss, but I just can’t stop thinking about you. I know that I’m asking a lot from you, and if you’re not interested, then you can just say no. We can forget this has ever happened, and it won’t change the way I see you at work. If you want to quit, you can also do so, and I’ll give your next employer the best of recommendations. But,” Bruce lifted his finger to brush a strand of hair away from your face, “I just had to let you know how I feel.”
Although only a few seconds had passed, your silence seemed to extend for hours, and Bruce was ready to carefully put you down on the ground and throw himself off his window, never to be seen again. But when you placed both your hands on his cheeks, gazing into his eyes with a tenderness he hadn’t had the privilege of experiencing in years, he felt hope blossom within him.
“I am yours,” you replied softly, afraid that words louder than those would burst the small bubble of happiness you were hiding in. “I’ve been yours since the day I stepped foot in here. You have my heart, Bruce Wayne. All of you. The smart you, the cheeky you, even the arrogant you that sometimes belittles subordinates over their incompetence – but quickly makes up for it with heartfelt apologies, because that is what your parents taught you. But most importantly, you. The real one. I’ve been yours since day one.”
Bruce offered you one of his beautiful smiles, the genuine ones that had your stomach flipping over itself and leaned over again. You welcomed his kiss with a sigh of content, and a soft sound that sounded awfully a lot like a moan, which had Bruce grip onto you tighter and kiss you a bit rougher. He was tugging at your pencil skirt, and you were just about to make quick work of his tie, when the door to his office burst open.
Without a second thought, Bruce quickly covered your legs with his arms, and hid your face so whoever had just walked in wouldn’t be able to look at you. It was the least he could do to protect you right now, but it was either that or nothing.
“I see you’re quite busy, Mr. Wayne,” Lucius Fox’s voice boomed through the office, a cheeky tilt to it making it known that the sight before him was amusing rather than scandalous. “I’ll return later, if you want me to? Or perhaps, not at all. What if I fax you?”
Bruce chuckled and nodded towards his employee. He could feel your quickened heart rate speed up under the gaze of someone else, and while he felt sorry you two had gotten caught, he couldn’t hide just how adorable you looked, clinging to him like that.
“That’d be perfect, Lucius.”
“Good afternoon, Mr. Wayne. Miss.” Lucius said your last name before leaving and closing the door behind him. When your boss took one good look at your face, he felt the heat on your cheeks and neck, and laughed before pressing a kiss below your ear.
“How come Lucius came in here without knocking? Where the hell is my assistant?”
You smiled sheepishly and ran your fingers through his hair – something you’d always wanted to do. “I don’t you,” you mumbled. “Bet she’s slacking off.”
“I must disagree,” Bruce quipped back, “She’s the most hardworking woman I’ve ever met. No way she’s slacking off.”
“Then she’s probably making out with her boss.”
“Only because he’s crazy about her.”
“She’s crazy about him too.”
Life was perfect ever since.
You couldn’t be seen together for obvious reasons, but that didn’t keep Bruce from stealing you once or twice. Extended lunch breaks, pre-company meetings meetings, post-company meeting meetings, you name it. You’d be on his lap, lazily kissing his frown upside down, next to him, helping him with contracts and files that had been sent incorrectly (and that he could easily fix by himself, but he loved having you near him, and you loved to help), and once or twice he’d had you on top of his desk with him kneeling before you, or sprawled on his couch with he laid on top of you, helping him with that he claimed to be a performance check.
After a few rumours broke out that you had slept your way to the top, you asked Bruce to quit the company. The women in the company, who faked their sympathy and niceness to you because they were utterly jealous of your position as Bruce Wayne’s assistant scowled once you walked past them, giggling and calling you names. You’d tried to ignore them at first, but after the fifty-second “Whore”, you were a sobbing mess, crying on Bruce’s shoulder and begging him to fire you so you wouldn’t have to deal with that any longer.
How typical of you, Bruce thought. Willing to lose your job so someone else won’t have to, even if that someone else’s behaviour is unacceptable. He knew your reasoning though, knew that if he were to fire said women, it’d backfire on him, and all the rumours would be confirmed.
It was a terrible idea really.
But he was also Bruce fucking Wayne, and such things did not matter to him. So instead of firing you, he made his intentions very clear in front of pretty much the entire company at a special anniversary dinner, by kissing your breath away. You were stunned to say the least, when he loudly introduced you to everyone as his lovely girlfriend and said that should anyone have a problem with either him or you, they should take it upon themselves to talk to Bruce personally.
Later that night, he held you tightly in his arms and kissed your forehead, promising that he would never hide you or your relationship from the world ever again. You, on your hand, promised to not listen to the tabloids and the paparazzi.
That was the first time you confessed your love for him, which he eagerly confessed back, before he was tugging at your clothes and his lips were pressed to your neck.
One night, as you were leaving a restaurant with your friends, you were pulled to a dark alleyway and held at gunpoint. The attacker, a man you did not recognise, told you to call your rich boyfriend and started going on about how much he wanted for you. Bruce did not pick up, which made you panic, and made the attacker get even angrier. But before he could do anything about it, a dark figure emerged from the rooftop above you two and knocked the man to the ground.
You’d never seen Batman up close, but he was as intimidating as everyone made him out to be. He tied the man up, called the Gotham Police Department, and you could make out his gruff voice saying something about a Chief Gordon. He then looked at you, and you felt so small, so vulnerable, so weak. Here you were, an insignificant nobody, being saved by Batman. Batman, of all people, who probably had more important things to do other than rescue nobodies like yourself.
But the gentleness in his voice as he asked, “Are you okay?” snapped you out of your trance. Gone was the intimidating vigilante. Before you, stood someone who seemed to care about you and your wellbeing. You nodded and told him you were a bit shook up. He asked you to tell him exactly what had happened, and so you did, carefully going over all the details. Once you mentioned your boyfriend’s name, Batman seemed to wince. You did not understand why.
He took you home, and although you couldn’t quite tell what, there was something in Batman’s presence that made you feel safe, cared for. It was familiar, comforting to be near him. Like you’d known him all your life.
Bruce, on his hand, was freaking out. You’d been targeted because of him. Him. Him. Him. You were going to get hurt because of him. And he’d pay whatever fortune he had to just to keep you safe, but if you’d gotten hurt, he would never be able to forgive himself.
He spent a few more minutes outside, to make it less suspicious, and tried to act surprised when you told him how Batman had saved you.
You hid the details from him though, simply saying you were going to get mugged. You didn’t want to worry him – he was too preoccupied about your life together as it was, trying not to track down whatever assholes wrote those nasty pieces about you in the morning papers, and trying to focus on you instead of the photographer three tables down whenever you went out for coffee.
The two of you were idiots, really, trying to protect each other at all costs.
It only took a few days after the assault for Bruce to break, though. He told you everything, spilled all his secrets about Batman as if he were a sinner in church confessing all his sins. You were shocked, to say the least, but it all clicked in your head quite quickly. The comforting presence, the gentleness in Batman’s voice, the safety – it was all Bruce. Of course it was.
“I’m sorry,” he pleaded, “Please forgive me. This is all my fault. If I hadn’t been there…”
“But you were,” you took his hands in yours, gripping them tightly. “You saved me, Bruce, and that’s all that matters. I’m fine. You’re fine. We’re going to be fine.”
“It’s not safe for you. If anyone finds out about me, they’ll use you, they’ll get to you, and – “
“You managed to keep your identity a secret all this time. I’m sure you’ll be able to keep doing it.” You leaned towards him and kissed him softly. Bruce responded in kind immediately, taking you in his arms and kissing you with the passion of a man madly in love. His hands roamed your body, fingers deftly remembering every curve and arch and every place that made you whimper against his lips and tighten your hold on him. Within minutes, you were laying on your back, fingers tugging at Bruce’s hair as he pulled orgasm after orgasm from you, promising – no, swearing to keep you safe forever and ever, declaring his devotion for you.
Some weeks after, he popped a question. Not quite the question, but a very important one nevertheless.
“Quit your job.”
“What?”
“Quit your job at Wayne Enterprises. I can take care of you. I will take care of you. Everyone knows we’re together, and as much as I don’t care about the nasty rumours and petty comments, you’re way safer here.” Bruce took your hand across the couch and rubbed circles on the back of it, thumb brushing against your knuckles. “Alfred and I found out who the attacker was. Remember Chet Rivers?”
“The accountant?”
“To say he was angry would be an understatement. He went after you because he knew it would hurt me. I won’t have this happen again. I love you so much and I appreciate everything you have done and continue to do as my personal assistant, but if this job puts you in harm’s way again, I don’t know what I’ll do.”
You offered him a sympathetic smile. It was so like your boyfriend to put you first in every situation.
“And what would I do?”
“Anything, as long as it wasn’t too dangerous.”
“I think everyone in Gotham knows me by now, Bruce. And according to your paranoia, that’d pose a threat.”
Bruce rubbed his jaw pensively and you scooted over, sitting on his lap and facing him.
“You worry too much,” you mumbled, stroking his cheek.
“Is it so wrong if I want to keep the love of my life safe?”
“Not at all. But I also need to live, you know.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I just – I can’t stand the thought of losing you. You’re far too precious for that, and I’ve lost so many people – “
You interrupted him with a kiss, a tactic you found quite effective most of the times. He hummed and his breathing slowed as he relaxed.
“If it makes you feel better, then fine. I’ll quit.”
“Really?”
“Mhm. I’ll find something else to do. Maybe I can even help Alfred around, you know. Be Batman’s personal assistant. You think he’s hiring?”
This earned a chuckle from Bruce, and a very tight hug.
“I’ll put in a good word for you.”
He did! And you got the job.
At first, you thought being Batman’s personal assistant (a title you wore proudly, even though it annoyed Bruce – after all, this had been achieved so you wouldn’t have to be anyone’s assistant, so you wouldn’t have to work) would be boring, but you quickly got the hang of it and, of course, excelled.
You tracked down which materials made his suit lighter, which ones made him faster, which ones weighed him down. You made lists of the combinations you and Bruce had come up with, to provide him with the perfect bland of speed and lightness, without making him too unprotected.
You took over Alfred’s position, giving the old man some respite as you communicated with Bruce through the intercoms, looking out for him, reminding him to take breaks and occasionally teasing him with the usual “Wanna guess what I’m wearing?” talk – Bruce would never admit this, but it made him patrol the streets quicker, eager to get home and find out just what you were wearing – or weren’t.
Most of the time, Bruce would beg you to go to sleep after he went on patrol. Most of the time, you wouldn’t hear any of it. You wanted to help your boyfriend wash the day off him, rub his sore muscles and kiss his forehead gently as he relaxed against your hold.
“What’re you still doing up?” he asked once, looking over at your figure on top of his bed. Instead of sleeping, you had your nose buried in some book you’d always wanted to read but had never found the time to.
“Waiting for you,” you mumbled, looking up and rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.
“Shouldn’t have done that. It’s late.” Bruce walked over to you, and you smiled lazily, lifting your arms so he would scoot over next to you. He did so, clad in a pair of shorts, his batsuit (courtesy of his loving girlfriend) long discarded.
“Didn’t want you to come home to an empty house. Wanted you to come home to a smile.”
“Coming home to you is enough,” he chided, playfully touching your nose.
“Bath?”
“Please.”
You prepared a quick bubble bath and got in after him, sitting with your chest pressed against his back as you washed his hair, massaged his scalp, and rubbed his sore shoulders and back. Bruce groaned a few times, finding your touch something close to a miracle.
“On your right – fuck, right there.”
You giggled at how his words sounded out of context, and got your thigh pinched in return.
“Hey!”
“I can tell you’re being dirty. Stop it.”
“Not at all,” you replied, “’m super clean right now.”
After you were both cleaned, Bruce took it upon himself to rinse you and wrap you in your fluffiest of towels. You were nearly asleep to be honest, eyes darting close every few seconds. Thankfully, your boyfriend would not let go, helping you stand up straight and keeping you from falling to the side.
You were extremely exhausted, and Bruce blamed himself for that, but he couldn’t lie – seeing you wait up for him, to make sure he was safe and sound warmed his heart. He hadn’t felt loved like this in a long time, and every day he woke up and thanked whatever deity was looking over him that he got to wake up next to the woman he loved.
It was domestic, in a way.
And it wasn’t like anything had truly changed – after all, you were still taking care of Bruce Wayne, and he was still taking care of you. It was only your circumstances that had changed. Instead of an office, you worked from home, your new home, Wayne Manor. Instead of bringing him coffee, you’d help Alfred around with cooking and busied yourself with your hobbies during the day, so you could help your husband with his duties at night.
And on his hand, Bruce protected you by protecting Gotham.
Don’t get me or him wrong – he didn’t spend all his free time Batmanning. He spoiled you rotten, taking you out for coffee dates and strolls in the park. Often, you’d find little gifts on your bed, just like he used to do when you worked for him. Only this time, they were a bit more personal. Your favourite books and candles, bracelets with his initials, dresses that left a lot to the imagination, pieces of lingerie for his eyes only to see.
But most importantly, you loved each other. More than words could express. You were the light in Bruce’s light. The reason he got out of bed and downed expensive wool and linen suits during the day, and dark Kevlar ones at night. The reason he smiled more often, the reason he had began to believe in love again. Without you, the billionaire was sure he’d be lost in life. Surely, he must’ve done something great in a past one if he now had you in his arms, in his bed, in his life, in his heart.
These were the thoughts running through Bruce’s head as he held your hand. You were both sitting at a restaurant you’d wanted to try for years (“Bruce, please, I beg of you, just get us a reservation at Dorsia,” you’d whined one afternoon, trying to argue your case with a series of convincing kisses to his neck – and how could he deny you, with arguments like those?), having the time of your life as you told him about your day.
Bruce loved the sound of your voice. He’d let you speak for hours on end, about whatever topic you wanted, if it only meant he could listen to you.
In fact, he didn’t need to do any of the talking.
That night, he only had one question to ask of you, the weight of the small box inside his pocket filling him with both excitement and dread.
He only hoped you would say yes.
He needn’t worry.
If the smile on your face after he kneeled was any indication, your thoughts mirrored his.
You could not wait to spend forever together.
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A/N: And that's it!!!! I hope you guys enjoyed this!!!! I'll also take this opportunity to warn y'all that this will be my last Bruce piece in a while! I have other requests pertaining other characters, and honestly, I feel like I'm getting a bit exhausted with all the writing I've been doing for him.
I don't want fanfiction writing to become a chore, so I'll be focusing on other characters for now in order not to lose this spark!!! I hope you guys enjoy those pieces as well <3
Stay safe and have a wonderful day ahead!!!!!!! <3<3<3
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ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝obsessed? i admit it…• h.hj
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✰ pairing - hyunjin x idol!reader
✰ warnings - kisses, mentions of panic attacks, angst and fluff
✰ word count -
✰ notes - i hope the anon who requested this likes it :c i changed it a bit so i’m so sorry
✰ sypnosis: your relationship with hyunjin was steady at the moment, until a large ripple occurs and it gets hard, but it’s all okay, he’s here.
masterlist | requests open!
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after one last kiss, you finally patted hyunjin on the thigh, signaling him to let go of you. 
with a low whine, he released your waist from his vice-like grip, smiling with slightly swollen pink lips that made you want to kiss him again. 
“bye bye, my lovely y/n.” he sang while you walked to the door, smiling sweetly at him. 
you made sure you weren’t being followed. 
being an idol meant the fans could never find out about your relationship with hyunjin. not if you wanted death threats or creepy stans. 
you grabbed a drink at a random place, and stopped at your apartment. 
your phone was ringing the whole way up, though you made sure to check it once you got home. 
you audibly gasped the second you opened the phone. photos of you flashed across the screen, from just a few hours ago, heading to hyunjin’s house. 
your blood turned cold. they had pieces together everything. 
it wasn’t a secret anymore. the picture collages of you and hyunjin ran through your mind like a freight train, along with all the comments, your members worried voices over the phone, and the way the company would react. 
oh my god, what if they terminate my contract? 
your tears flowed down your cheeks out of nowhere, unbothered rivulets of your sadness washing away. 
you never meant for this to happen, this wasn’t supposed to happen. 
you only realized that you practically ruined hyunjin’s career when videos of fans sending protest trucks flashed on you for you page, the messages making you sob harder. 
the knocks on the door didn’t even register in your brain until you heard his frantic voice, your sobs growing louder as you ran to the door as fast as your feet could take you, slamming it open and falling into his arms. 
those arms. the ones ready to take you in, the ones ready to comfort you. he wasn’t mad at you. 
“shhh…there there. you saw, huh?” 
you nodded, ignoring the worried voices of your members in the call behind you. they still had a little while before they reached; you were in japan other than korea to follow solo schedules. 
hyunjin hummed your favorite song in an attempt to calm you down. something about seeing you cry broke something inside of him; hyune knew he couldn’t bear it and it wouldn’t take long until he started crying with you. 
your members’ voices quieted in the background, it was just you and him, hyunjin and you. nothing else mattered, you didn’t care about anything else. 
he kissed your cheeks to rid the tears, smiling at you and playing with your hands. 
“i-i ruined everything. your career…everything!” you cried out, breathing was getting harder. 
“no…no. i’ll be okay. you’ll be okay, and we’ll be okay, yeah? everything will work out. it’ll be hard, but it’ll be okay.” hyunjin sighed, thinking while wrapping his arms around your drawn-in frame. 
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
stays cheered in ecstacy, hyunjin taking the mic from one of the members. even though you had told him it was risky, he had told you to come to the concert. 
so there you were, center row, with a lightstick and jointer in your hands, a wide smile gracing your pretty features. 
hyunjin cleared his throat, and the crowd quieted. “um, so i guess you guys have heard the rumors about me and y/n, and i want to address them.” the crowd gasped collectively. 
“they’re true. i love her, this isn’t going to be a short one month, two month thing either. i want forever with her.” he smiled at the other members, and chan sniffled a little, felix running to comfort him. 
“i want you to respect our decision. i would really appreciate it. thank you.” he gulped. 
the crowd was silent, all eyes on you. 
then they cheered. 
you grinned, tears shining in the corner of your eyes. it would all be okay. 
hyunjin may be a little obsessed, as you were with him, but it’s alright. he admits it, and you have to admit it too. 
hyunjin was yours. only yours, and you believed in happily ever after with him. 
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luizd3ad · 2 days
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She's My Religion | Lily Evans x Fem!Reader One Shot
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ࣪˖⤷ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ࣪ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ˖ ⤷
Pairing: Lily Evans x Reader
WC:8,636
TW: mentions of abuse, self-doubt, cursing, little bit of homophobia and use of homophobic slur, use of the word Mud-Blood (not used by reader), use of Y/N, Reader is implied to be a Slytherin but not directly specified, mentions of violence, death threats, It’s kinda angsty, but cute at the end.
Author's Note: I’ve never wrote for Lily so I’m sorry if this is out of character or something idk I tried this is also the longest fic I’ve written I didn’t mean for it to be this long😅.
Summary: What happens when Sirius Blacks little sister and Regulus Blacks twin sister starts to fall for the intelligent and beautiful Lily Evans?
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I made this cute little mood board idk I just love this tbh
⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳
Y/N Black had always been seen as the colder Black out of her and her two brothers and that was saying something especially considering her twin, Regulus. 
Regulus and her had been close their whole lifes. Their eldest cousin Andromeda would say they were thick as thieves. Always doing everything together refusing to go or do anything without the other. 
But after years of abuse from their partners and then it only getting worse when their older brother Sirius left she closed up, to the point of even icing Regulus out to an extent.
When Regulus made the choice to mend the bond between him and Sirius, Y/N made it clear that she wanted no part in it. 
In Y/N’s eyes Sirius didn't care, he didn't love her. She knew he didn't. If he did, why would he leave them? Why would he leave her? Especially with those people.
Sirius had always protected Regulus and Y/N as much as he could. He would take punishment, sneak them food if they were forced to go without. 
Eventually protecting them ment having Regulus go to The Potters with him when there was talk of an arranged marriage for Regulus.
Regulus left 12 Grimmauld Place during winter break in their 5th year, Y/N being left once again.  
At that point she'd separated herself from everyone who'd cared for her, admittedly it was mostly her brothers but also the few friends she and Regulus shared.
Sirius had tried many times to talk to Y/N but she never budged, she'd rarely spare him a glance. He was shattered, Sirius felt as if he'd lost his baby sister. 
Regulus took it worse not that he'd admit that to anyone who wasn't Sirius. He had hoped that she'd forgive them at some point and that she'd join them or at the very least understand why they left but she didn't. 
Y/N wouldn't speak, look, or even be in the same room as Regulus if she could help it. 
Regulus lost his twin, his other half, his life line and she didn't even seem to care. 
But she did care she cared so fucking much. 
· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·
Despite Y/N being cold and dark to those around her, she was smart.
Some would say smarter than Regulus, definitely smarter than Sirius. 
So it came as no surprise to her when the summer between her 5th and 6th year Y/N got word that she was to join the 7th year potions class.
Honestly she didn't care, Walburga was as pleased as she could be and Orion unsurprisingly couldn't care less.
But that's how she found herself being in the potion class the year above and being assigned partners with her. 
Lily Evans. 
Y/N didn't know much about Lily other than she was friends with her brother and his friends, she was smart, a Gryffindor and muggle-born.
Now Y/N didn't care for blood statues. It never made sense to her, the hatred that so many purebloods held for half-bloods or muggle-borns.
It all seemed barbaric and honestly a waste of time.
So, no Y/N didn't care that she was partnered with someone who was a muggle-born. 
She did care however that she was partnered with a friend of Sirius's. And it wasn't just a friend that he would see around and chat up with sometimes no, they were close friends.
This was going to be a problem.
“Hi, I’m Lily! Your Siris’ and Regs’ little sister right?”
Lily stuck out her hand for you to shake with one of the brightest smiles you think you've ever seen. 
You simply roll your eyes and dismiss her hand shake. 
“I prefer to be called by my name, Y/N, rather than being referred to as Sirius and Regulus' sister.”
Lily drops her hand and her smile falls just a tad, not enough for most people to notice, but you did. 
“Of course. I'm sorry, truly.”
“It's fine Evans.”
You say coldly, giving your undivided attention to Slughorn.
The rest of class was spent taking notes mostly with Lily attempting to make small talk every so often. You ignored her for the rest of the class.
You knew Lily was only trying to be nice but you also knew she was only trying to be nice so she could bring up your brothers.  
And talking about them was one of the last things you wanted to do.
· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·
Days started to pass turning into weeks, weeks turning into months.
You and Lily had been cordial.
You tried your best not to be completely rude to her since she always tried to make small talk and she was kind to you.
You actually grew quite fond of her over time but you didn't think that the two of you were friends by any means.
But you were acquaintances.
And you did like being in her presents.
It had been three months since school had started and Slughorn had announced that there was a project that was due in 2 weeks, right before christmas break would start and you were to work on it with your partner.
You sighed and looked to the side to see a smiling Lily. 
You weren’t upset that you had to do a project with Lily considering she was very smart and you liked being around her, but you were upset knowing that you'd have to spend time with her after class and knowing that where she goes her friends were not far most of the time.
Which meant there was a possibility of seeing her friends, which meant a possibility of seeing Sirius and or Regulus more than you'd like.
“Okay Evans we’ll meet at the library after classes are done so we can just get this done. Please refrain from bringing your friends.”
Lily knew what you meant by that, you were asking her to keep Sirius and Regulus away from you.
Lily chuckled and shook her head.
“They go where they please.”
Translation. She couldn't stop either of them, more specifically Sirius, even if she wanted to. 
“I see. I'll see you later Evans.”
You sigh once more gathering your things to walk away. 
“Bye Y/N.”
It always caught you off guard when she would call you by your first name instead of your surname. 
First names were meant for friends, yet she never called you Black. 
She only ever called you Y/N, as if you were good friends. 
You supposed that was just the type of person Lily was. She was nice to everyone unless they gave her a reason not to be. 
· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·
After classes you find yourself entering the library. You were expecting to have to wait for Lily but to your surprise she beat you there.
You walk to the table she was occupying, setting your things down.
Once she notices you she looks up from her seat smiling at you.
She had a very beautiful smile, one that made you feel your heart skip a beat for a moment. But you chose to ignore the feeling, deciding, hoping, it meant nothing. 
“How were your classes Y/N?”
Lily asked with genuine curiosity in her eyes. 
Did she actually care? She couldn't possibly care about my day. No, she didn't care, she was just asking to be polite. That was all. You tried to convince yourself.
“It was fine… How about you?”
Lily then went on about her day. She told you her favorite thing she learned that day, a joke her friend Mary told her that made you actually crack a small smile. 
You couldn't help but hold on to every word that came out of her mouth. 
Without you even realizing it Lily talking was easily becoming your favorite part of the days that followed.
You spent every day that week meeting with Lily at the library and you realized you actually really liked spending time with her. She had managed to make you smile a few times which was a rare sight.
Lily had this light to her that you couldn't describe. She was just everything good in the world. 
She was funny, smart, sweet, kind, beautiful and you wanted to spend every moment you could with her. 
You realized as the weekend grew closer you wouldn't have a reason to see her for two days. That bothered you and you couldn't figure out why. 
The two of you were working late in the back of the library. The library was practically empty.
“There's a Hufflepuff party tomorrow night. Are you going?”
“No. Parties aren't really something I enjoy. I’m assuming it’s safe to assume you're going?”
You say giving Lily a small smile.
“Yeah. We're all going… you should come.”
You knew what she meant. Sirius and most likely Regulus were going to be there.
Over the week of working with her she would make little suggestions now and then about seeing or talking to your brothers without blatantly saying so.
You just shook your head looking down at the table.
“I'm okay, thank you for the invitation.”
“Okay well, I'm going to Hogsmeade on sunday. Usually no one comes with me since they're all hungover. Would you like to join me?”
You felt yourself stop breathing. You didn't know why you felt this way. 
It was just Lily, but you've never spent time with Lily outside of an academic setting. 
Was this for the project? Or were you supposed to hang out as friends? Or was it.. More?
Did you want it to be more?
Before you have the chance to answer or contemplate further, your conversation was interrupted.  
“Oi, Black! Three blood traitors wasn’t enough for your line? You decided to become one yourself?”
Avery said, making Mulciber laugh. 
You look up at them about to get up but Lily grabs and squeezes your hand telling you to let it go. 
So you did.
“Aww isn't that cute? You’re shagging the Mud-blood now? Merlin your whole family is full of a bunch of fuckin’ poof-”
Before he can finish his sentence you have him on the ground holding his nose. You felt what some people would refer to as ‘The Black Family Madness’ cloud your mind. 
You thought it was just pure fucking anger, but what did you know?
You look down at Avery while having your wand pointing at Mulciber to keep him where he is, not showing any emotion on your face.
“I could kill you, you know? I could kill both of you. Make it look like self defense. ‘Oh i was so scared they cornered me and I- I didn't know what to do. I was scared for my life'.”
You say the last part in a mocking tone you then crouch in front of Avery looking him dead in the eyes.
“No one would even blink if you two died. Did you know that? I won't do it though because I refuse to risk myself being thrown in Azkaban. Especially for the likes of you, do you know why? It’s simple really, both of your lives put together don't even measure up to mine alone in terms of importance.”
You stand up straight looking at both of them.
“Now you're going to apologize to Evans for caller her such a vile and disgusting name, and if you don’t I will have a letter send to my mother by the end of the night about how I walked in on you two shoving your tongues down each other's throats and how I ‘just don't know what to do!’ and then we can see how your fathers react to just the idea of having ‘poofs’ inside they're line.”
You give them a small smirk while Avery and Mulciber look at each other debating if they're willing to have a rumor like that go around especially since it was a lie.
“And if you think my mother won't believe me. I reassure you, she will. Why would I lie? It wouldn’t benefit me as far as she's concerned and I am as close to a ‘perfect’ child as she'll ever get and if it comes out that the two of you might be shagging then the dirty looks get taken off The Black Family’ and move to The Mulcibers’ and The Averys’. So let's play this one smart boys.”
That seemed to convince Avery enough that he stands up and looks at Lily and forces out an ‘I’m sorry.’ 
Mulciber is a little more hesitant. You send a Stinging Jinx Mulcibers way, he falls to his knees with a small hiss and looks at Lily.
“I'm sorry Evans, really really sorry.”
Mulcibers cried out
“Now. You're both going to leave Evans alone. You are going to keep her name and both of my brothers' names out of your mouths. Am I understood?”
You say with no emotion on your face once again. 
They both let out quiet ‘yes’s’ while scrambling to leave.
After the ‘Madness’ had cleared from your mind it hit you what you did. You didn't feel bad about what you did but you realize you did it all in front of Lily. 
You don't even look at her as you start to gather your things.
“I’m sorry Evans, really. I-I should go.”
You ramble out while trying to walk away. Lily grabs your arm stopping you in your tracks.
“I won't lie and say I agree with what you did, but I don't blame you. I also appreciate you standing up for me. I'm not mad or scared of you Y/N.”
“I should have never done that in front of you. I'm sorry, really.”
“It's okay. I promise. Lets stop working tonight, yeah?”
You nod at Lily.
“Yeah. Okay” 
“So about Hogsmeade?”
· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·
You were sitting by the entrance of Hogwarts looking down playing with the matching serpent ring that Regulus had got for you and him a few birthdays ago. 
You've never taken it off.
You were just wearing some plain jeans and a jumper you had stolen from Sirius years ago. You find yourself wearing it when you think you might need moral support and you didn't know why but you felt a need to wear it today.
No matter how hurt you might be from your brothers leaving, you still loved them so much. You didn't necessarily blame them for leaving the house or the family, you just wish they were still with you.
You’re taken out of your thoughts when you hear footsteps coming your way. 
You look up and forget how to breathe for a moment. 
There she was. Lily fucking Evans walking towards you she was wearing a white long sleeve shirt and a plaid skirt it was so simple but she looked amazing.
Why are you feeling like this? Why does it feel like every time you're in her presents you feel like you can't breathe?
You've never felt this way before.
“Hey Y/N ready to go?”
“Yes.”
You felt like your words were stuck in your throat. 
She was just so fucking beautiful. 
You didn't talk much on your walk to Hogsmeade. You were too caught up in your head and Lily had noticed that.
“Are you okay Y/N?”
“Yes, I'm fine. How was your party last night?”
You asked, trying to change the subject. LIly knew what you were doing and she let you get away with it.
“It was actually a lot of fun. It would have been a lot more fun if you were there.”
Lily said, sending you a smile. 
You just rolled your eyes playfully with a small smile of your own, letting Lily go on about the things that happened. She told you everything that had happened as if she didn't want you to feel left out. You didn't realize how much a little act like that could make your heart speed up a bit.
By the time you had gotten to Hogmaede Lily was laughing at a story about something her friend Marlenne had done, you were just smiling. Whether you were smiling at the story or at her laugh you didn't know and you didn't want to think about it. You just wanted to enjoy the time with her.
At some point Lily grabbed your hand holding it as you went through multiple shops, you tried not to pay too much attention to how her hand felt in yours. There were a few disagreements here and there when you insisted on paying for the things she wanted.
She in her words 'didn't want you to waste your money’ and you just responded with ‘it's not a waste if it's you.’
She finally stopped fighting you after you told her that you loved spending money on things you knew your mother and father wouldn't agree with. It was one of your little acts of rebellion. Which was true but a part of you also just wanted to spoil her.. But she didn't have to know that.
By the time you two had gotten back to the castle it was almost dark. You walked Lily to the Gryffindor tower still holding her hand.
“You know you could come in right? They want to see you.”
Lily said, squeezing your hand gently to reassure you.
Since the school year started and you wouldn't talk to Regulus he stopped coming down to the dungeons if he could help it, he started to stay in the Gryffindor tower. So other than the few classes you shared and the occasional glances across the great hall you haven't seen your twin in months.
It killed a part of you but you were still so angry and hurt.
“Me and you both know that's not a good idea.”
You said looking down. Lily was about to disagree when the portrait opened out walking James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and last but not least both of your brothers. 
You could hear a pin drop in the corridor outside of the Gryffindor common room.
Sirius and Regulus stare at you without saying a word. No one moves, no one says anything.
You look back at Lily with your jaw clenched and drop her hand, putting your hands in your pockets. You didn't miss the hurt that flashes through her eyes but you didn't focus on it. You just had to get out of there.
“I'll see you later Evans, Yeah?”
You say to Lily mustering up a very small smile at her so she knew you were not upset with her. 
You started to walk away not even acknowledging the presents of anyone else. You do your best to keep walking away ignore the sound of talking down the hall, trying your best to not spare your brothers another glance
You just weren't ready to talk to them and you didn't even know if they actually wanted to talk to you.
So you just continue walking to the dungeons 
· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·
The next day Lily rushed into potions class, saying how sorry she was and explaining that she didn't know that was going to happen. It was all just poor timing.
All you could do was smile at her and reassure her that you didn't blame her.
You knew she wouldn't do something like that to you,
As the days passed by getting closer to the middle of the week you and Lily continued to get closer. You both would still meet up after classes in the library to finish up your project, the project that you both knew you could have finished, days ago.
You were coming to expect that you possibly had feelings for the girl but you knew she most likely just saw you as a friend.
You both were packing up for the night, you had finally finished with your project with two days to spare. It was a bittersweet moment.
“Y/N, what are you doing tonight?”
You looked up confused but you had a spark of hope in your chest.
“Nothing, probably go to my dorm, read, sleep… Why?”
“I have rounds tonight till 8:30. Do you want to meet after?”
“Um.. Okay? Yes, I'd like that. Um where should we meet?”
Lily then gave you one of her breath taking smiles obviously excited that you agreed.
“I'll come get you after I'm down, just meet me in front of the dungeons around 9?”
“Okay, Yeah.”
You were caught off guard when Lily walked over to you and hugged you.
The only people to have hugged you were your brothers and even then it had been years. You didn't know what to do for a moment so after some hesitation you hugged her back.
You felt her relax into you for a moment. You could smell her perfume, Strawberries and vanilla.
You reluctantly pulled away after a moment. You could see a light blush on her face and you couldn't imagine that you were any better.
“I'll see you later Evans.”
You say giving Lily a small smile and walking away with your things in hand.
Once you left the library you all but ran to your dorm. Your thoughts consume you.
That was a friend hug right? It had to be. Lily was just nice like that. Are friend hugs supposed to last that long though? You wouldn't know you wouldn't ever let anyone you were friends with hug you.
So then why did you let Lily hug you?
Why did you want to do it again?
Before you knew it it was 8:55 and you were waiting in front of the dungouse. You were still over thinking the hug.
Why was something so simple as a hug throwing you off? It didn't make sense.
You continued to think while absentmindedly playing with your ring. You were so lost in thought that you didn't even notice Lily till she put her hand on yours, stopping you from fidgeting.
You look at her and smile slightly.
“Where exactly are we going Evans?”
You ask, raising an eyebrow.
“Now why would I tell you that? Come on.”
Lily gave you a smirk and grabbed you hand leading you to wherever she was taking you. You couldn't help but blush at her holding your hand but you didn't pull away or protest it.
You let out a little chuckle when you finally realized where Lily was leading you.
“Really Evans? The astronomy tower? Seems a little cliché doesn’t it?”
You say with a teasing voice all Lily does is roll her eyes at you as you make it to the top of the tower.
When you get there you see that a few blankets and pillows are lying out.
You just blush again and Lily drags you over and has you sit with her in the pile of blankets and pillows.
“So why here?”
You ask leaning back on your hands.
“It’s just one of my favorite places. I like the stars.”
She says with a little shrug.
“Do you know about Cassiopeia?”
You ask, looking at her as she looks into the sky. Lily just shrugs and looks at you.
“Admittedly I’m not very good at astronomy. I would usually have… um Sirius do my work.”
Lily says looking scared that just mentioning your brother will have you running for the hills.
“Cassiopeia was the queen of Ethiopia; she was married to King Cepheus. One day she had angered Poseidon, she claimed that her and her daughter, Andromeda were more beautiful than the daughters of Nereus. So the sea nymphs, Nereids, asked Poseidon to send a monster to destroy King Cepheus's coast. To appease the monster, Cassiopeia and Cepheus chained Andromeda to a rock as a sacrifice, Perseus rescued Andromeda, but Poseidon still punished Cassiopeia, he took her and hung her in the heavens. Cassiopeia sits on her throne, but during part of the year, she appears upside down in the sky.”
Lily looks at you slightly shocked.
“How do you just know that?”
You chuckle and shake your head lightly.
“Evans, I’m a Black. It’s basically a requirement to know about the stars.”
“Okay fine, tell me about that one.”
She says point at a random constellation.
You tell her about every constellation or star she points at for a while, not noticing that the two of you have subconsciously been moving closer and closer. Eventually your shoulders are touching hands brushing against each other every so often. 
“Okay how about that one?”
She pointed at one of the clusters of stars you hoped she wouldn’t have pointed out.
Then again it was bound to happen.
“Canis Major the ‘great dog’ it’s built around Sirius, the Dog Star, the brightest star in the sky.”
You say looking down, playing with the ring on your finger.
There’s a silence for a moment, it’s not awkward but not necessarily comfortable either.
“They miss you, you know?”
Lily says, looking at you.
“I don’t want to talk about this right now.”
You say not looking at her at all.
A part of you knew you couldn’t look at her because if you did you’d tell her anything she wanted to know.
“They really do. Sirius and Regulus ask me how you're doing all the time Y/N.”
Lily says grabbing your hand to stop you from playing with your ring once again.
“Lily please.”
You say looking up at her. 
Your breath gets stuck in your throat for a moment once you realize how close the two of you are.
You're so caught up in the moment, so captivated by the most beautiful pair of green eyes you've ever seen that you didn't even notice.
You didn't even notice that you called her Lily. Not Evans. 
Just Lily.
“You know you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen?”
Lily says, staring at your eyes.
“Funny. I was thinking the same thing.”
You said with a new found confidence. Lily looks down at your lips for a moment and then you both start to lean in slowly.
“Ooooo naughty naughty.”
You both jump at the sound of the most annoying Poltergeist known to man.
After a few minutes of Lily somehow convincing Peeves to not tell on us for being there. You found yourself walking Lily to the Gryffindor common room hand in hand for the second time in a week.
“I hope you had fun tonight, I’m sorry Peeves kinda ruined the night.”
Lily said, stopping in front of the entrance to her common room.
“It's not your fault. You didn't know he would be there. I still had a good time.”
She just smiled at you, not letting go of your hand. 
“I had a lot of fun too.”
You desperately didn't want the night to end but you didn't know how to express that. You weren't blind you could tell Lily most likely had some kind of feelings for you. There was just a part of you that was still so scared of being rejected or left.
“It's getting late so we should go to bed.”
You say ruining your thumb over her knuckles.
“What if I said I didn't want to go to bed yet?”
Lily said, stepping closer to you. 
You just smile and let out a little sigh looking her in the eyes.
“I would then say that as much as I don't want this night to end, we've already been caught once and it's late, we have class tomorrow and I wouldn't want to see you tired… though under different circumstances I would love to see you tired.”
You say to her while smirking at her with confidence that you didn't know you had.
Lily just looks at you speechless blushing more than you think you've ever seen her before. You then dare to kiss her cheek softly.
“Goodnight, Lily.”
You whisper while sending a small smile towards her, not waiting for a response you start to walk away.
This had been one of the best nights of your life.
 · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·
Even though you had finished your projects you and Lily found yourselves still meeting in the library after classes leading up to break.
You both had been more affectionate in your own ways, Lily had started bringing you little snacks and water because she thought you didn't eat enough or drink enough water.
You were just constantly holding her hand or hugging her when you got the chance. It didn't go farther than that physically but you two started shamelessly flirting more often.
Finally it was the day before everyone would leave for christmas break you had just turned in your project to Slughorn.
You were gathering your things to leave for the next class when you were hit with an idea.
“Lily, do you want to.. Maybe hang out tonight?”
You asked nervously while a faint blush took over your face. You don't know why you're so nervous. You had hung out with Lily so many times at this point, it should feel normal.
She smiled at you and nodded.
“Yeah. I'd like that.”
“Okay. meet me at the astronomy tower. Around 8?”
“Really Y/N the astronomy tower? How cliché.”
Lily says in a teasing tone.
“Hahaha, just meet me there okay?”
You gave Lily’s hand a little squeeze, sending her a smile.
After classes that day you got together a little picnic basket of all the candies and food that Lily had told you she liked at one point or another. 
You had gone and set everything up so you went back to your dorm to change into your favorite outfit. Finally it was time to meet Lily you found her eventually and smiled at how beautiful she looked.
“So where are we going?”
Lily asked as you walked up to her.
“Wouldn't you like to know?”
You say sending her a small smirk as she rolled her eyes.
“Yes I actually would.”
“You'll find out soon, calm down.”
You say grabbing her hand and leading her up to the third floor of the astronomy tower, you then let go of Lily’s hand walking in front of the blank wall while Lily looks at you curiously. 
Soon the door for the Room of Requirements appears and the look Lily gives you is priceless.
“Is this the Room of Requirement?”
You nod while opening the door for her.
“Yeah. I found it in my third year. It's my own little part of the school, where no one can bother me unless I let them. You're the first person I've brought here.”
The room is full of books and a big fireplace with large comfy couches and a record player with all your favorite records next to it.
Next to the fireplace is the little picnic you had set up. Lily lets out a soft gasp as she sees the set up.
You both sit down and look at each other for a while. It's a soft moment, it feels like you both just needed to take each other in for a moment.
“So it's your last christmas here. Are you going home?”
You ask, taking a bite of a chocolate wand after.
“No. We all decided to stay here for our last christmas. Are you staying?”
“Yes. I'd rather spend Christmas in the dungeons then go back to Grimmauld Place.”
You say shaking your head with a sigh.
“Y/N, I know you try to avoid talking about this but just hear me out and if you don't want to talk about it after, I will leave it be, okay?”
You sigh already knowing where this conversation is going but you decided to hear Lily out anyway. You nod your head letting her know that she can continue.
“You said it yourself. This is mine and Sirius’s last Christmas at Hogwart. This is probably the last chance the three of you have to spend a Christmas together. They miss you Y/N, honestly they do. My sister doesn't talk to me anymore because I'm a witch and I miss her everyday. I don't want to see you go through that. I don't want you to regret not seeing your brother when you had the chance.”
You take a moment to think about it. You already knew if you didnt make up with them soon you'd regret it. Hell you already regretted it. 
You remembered how heartbroken Narcissa was when she found out that Andromeda had a baby. Narcissa knew she would never be able to meet her niece. You didn't want that. You didn't want your brothers to have families and you not be involved. You knew that if you didnt get over this pettiness that there was a large possibility that that was exactly the path you were heading down. 
“Okay. when everyone leaves tomorrow. I'll see them.”
“Really?”
“Yeah Lils. You're right after all. I don't want to not be a part of my brothers’ lives.”
Lily just gives you a hug whispering how proud of you she was.
Lily understood how hard this was for you. She knew you were hurt even if you never flat out said it to her.But it was time for you to get over it before you lost the only family you ever really cared for.
You and Lily spend the rest of the night talking and laughing. For a moment you forget the anxiety that will consume you tomorrow.
You'll be fine. As long as you have Lily by your side you know you'll be fine.
· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·
You waited at the entrance of the Gryffindor common room anxiously playing with the ring on your finger.
Why did you agree to this? Were you really ready to face your brothers? What if they hated you? What if they wanted nothing to do with you?
You were so caught up in your thoughts you didn't even notice your favorite red head till she touched your hands stopping you fidgeting with your ring one again.
You looked up at her, the anxiety obvious on your face. 
“They want to see you. I promise.”
She gives you a comforting smile keeping her hand on yours.
“What if I fuck this up? What if I lose them for good?”
You feel the burning behind your eyes trying not to cry.
“They love you so much Y/N. All you have to do is try.”
You nod, keeping Lily’s hand in yours letting her lead you into the portrait of Elizabeth Spriggs aka ‘The Fat Lady’.
Once you walk into the common room you notice it seems uncharacteristically quiet. 
You look and see two matching sets of gray eyes looking at you. You take a deep breath still trying to hold back the tears.
It's been close to a year since you talked to Sirius, quite a few months since you talked to Regulus.   
“Sirius, Regulus.”
You say in a neutral voice not making eye contact with either of them.
There's a moment of silence and stillness, a part of  you considers running out of the room but before you can act on that though you're being tackled into a hug by your eldest brother. You couldn't help but let a few tears fall as you hold Sirius and you can tell he's crying just the same.
Sirius cups your face with both of hands after a few moments to look at you with tears streaming down his face.
“I'm never letting you go again, you hear? I'm not losing my baby sister again.”
You let out a little sob and hug Sirius again putting your head on his chest.
“Sirius, Y/N why don't we go somewhere with a smaller audience.”
Regulus said in all his stoic glory. 
“Yeah. Regs right. We'll go to my room, alright?”
You give a small nod to Sirius then leads you to his shared dorm room while Regulus follows behind. 
You honestly didn't even notice the other people in the room until Regulus said something.
It wasn't many people, it was just ‘The Marauders’ as they call themselves and Lily but Regulus knew you would be more comfortable with just you three and you knew Regulus felt the same.
Once you get to Sirius room you look at Regulus for the first time in months.
“I’m sorry Regulus. I really am.”
You say trying to hold tears back once again.
“You ignored me. You ignored me for months Y/N.”
You look down ashamed playing with your ring once more.
“I know Regulus and if I could go back I would but I can’t. I was just hurt. Sirius left and that hurt so fucking much but at least I had you. Then you left, and I understand why you did but then I was just by myself. It nearly killed me to be alone with mother and father.”
You said taking a deep breath.
“I told you to come with me. Why didn’t you come?”
Regulus said with so much hurt in his voice it felt like someone ripped your heart out.
“I was afraid. I was afraid that I was too much like them. That if I would have gone, I would have tainted whatever good you made for yourselves.”
“You are nothing like them. Neither of you are. I made sure of that. Y/N if you were like them you wouldn’t be friends with Lily and Regulus if you were you would have never reached out for help.”
Sirius says while holding you against him once again.
“I really am sorry Reg.”
You look up at regulus with your tear stained face.
Regulus’s eyes softened and before you knew it, Regulus had taken you from Sirius arms and hugged you tighter than you had ever been hugged before but you didn’t mind.
You both cried into each other's arms for the first time in years. 
Sirius hugged both of you and for a moment you just sat there in your brother's arms enjoying every second of it.
“So, you and Lily huh?”
Sirius says in a teasing voice. You pushed him away and glared at him.
“Shut up.”
You say with a slight pout. Regulus and Sirius just give each other a knowing look as you roll your eyes and scoff.
“I hate you both. Did you know that?”
“Nah, you love us too much baby sister.”
Sirius says ruffling your hair as you swat his hands away.
“Wait. Is that my jumper?”
“… No. You’re crazy. The Black Family Madness is catching up with you Siri.”
Sirius and you start to argue as if no time had passed. Regulus just smiles at you two feeling grateful to have this back.
You spend the rest of the break with your brothers mostly but also with the marauders and Lily.
You got to know them all. 
You took a liking to Remus quickly bonding over your favorite books.
You and Peter got along well enough playing chess together often, since he would insist on rematches because you would continuously beat him.
James admittedly was harder not that you didn’t like him but a part of you had blamed him for Sirius leaving for so long that it was hard to get past that and it showed. It wasn't until christmas eve when James had pulled you aside for a moment when you felt yourself grow comfortable with him.
“You know, you don't have to go back there right?”
“What do you mean Potter?”
You looked at him with raised eyebrows as he sat next to you on the couch you were now occupying. 
“You don't have to go back to Grimmauld Place. You could be with your brothers again, I already wrote mum and dad. They said they'd be more than happy to have another Black join the Potters. I mean what's another one, yeah?”
James said with a small smile, lightly bumping your shoulder with his.
“Are you sure? I don't-”
“Yes. I know. You don't want to over step or be a burden and I know you don't think you deserve it, but you do. Merlin's beard, you and your brother are just the same. I will never understand the treatment your parents put the three of you through. But what I do know is that you three deserve good things in your lives. You deserve so much more than what your parents put you through. You are worth so much more than what they made you believe you were. You deserve to be loved, to be safe and to be happy. Y/N you will always have a home with us, plus… I've always wanted a little sister.”
You didn't say anything, you just hugged James and nodded your head.
Off to the side watching the interaction between you and James was your brothers, for the first time in years Regulus and Sirius knew the three of you would be safe and they couldn't be happier.
They liked seeing you interact with the people that they’ve grown close with and getting to see you actually happy every so often was just a bounce. 
But your brothers weren’t the only ones who liked it. 
Lily loved seeing you interact with all of them. 
You seemed so alive.
She’d never seen you act like that with anyone but her. She loved seeing you smile and laugh. She loved seeing you and your brothers truly happy.
This was her favorite Christmas so far.
You had made it her favorite Christmas.
· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·
You felt better than you had in months, no, years. 
You had your brothers back and for the first time in years. The three of you were getting along and you knew you would finally be safe.
You also knew it was because of Lily as well. 
She was the fire in your darkness, she gave you light, warmth and she felt so happy and safe.
Everything felt good for once. But if you knew anything, you knew that wasn't going to last.
“You don't actually think she loves you do you?”
You turn to see none other than Severus Snape leaning by the entrance to the dungeons. You raise your eyebrow at him questioningly. 
You don't really talk to Snape unless it was necessary you never really liked him or the company he kept in recent years. So for him to start any conversion with you was rare.
“What are you on about Snape?”
“Lily.”
He states as if it's obvious.
“What about Lily?”
Your interest obviously peaked at hearing the name of your favorite Gryffindor.
“She'll never love you. She loves Potter.”
He says in a monotone voice. You scoff rolling your eyes. 
“I don't know why I'm bothering with this nonsense.”
You turn to walk away muttering to yourself. 
“She and Potter kissed, you know. The other week, at a Hufflepuff party. I saw them. Potter has been pining for Lily since our first year. It seems he finally got what he was after.”
You stood there shocked, confused, frozen with your jaw now clenched. 
That couldn't be true. Lily wouldn't do that and if she did she'd tell you right? I mean you were… whatever you are, right?
And James wouldn't do that. He had all but flat out asked you to be his sister.
Snape was lying, he had to be. He was spreading lies about Lily. He just had to be. You wouldn't stand for that. You felt ‘The Madness’ creep in once again.
In one swift motion you had Snape pinned against the wall with your wand pointed at his neck. 
“You will not speak of Lily again. You will not look at her, speak to her. You will not breathe the same air as her and if you do. I will kill you. Do I make myself clear?”
You say with murderous eyes. 
Snape would never admit it but he was scared. He's only ever seen you as cold, emotionless. This was far from emotionless. 
“Crystal.”
Snape said, trying to hide his emotions as best as he could. 
You walk away without another glance stuck in your head. 
He had to be lying right? But why would he lie? Nothing made sense. Maybe he wasn't lying.
Stupid. You were so fucking stupid.
How could you think someone like Lily Evans would like someone like you. 
Lily brings life to everything she touches, she was sweet, caring, kind she was fucking perfect.
You were a Black, enough said.
You were angry, mean, rude, it was in your blood to ruin everything you touch. 
It wasn't her fault that you thought you might actually have a chance, that you developed a stupid crush, it was your fault for being stupid enough to think that it was ever a possibility.
I mean maybe you and Lily were just friends. Maybe you misunderstood?
You couldn't blame her but that didn't mean it hurt less. 
The first person you started putting your walls down for the first time in years obviously didn't care about you the way you cared for her. 
So you did what you did best when people would hurt you.
You avoided and ignored her. You managed to avoid Lily for a few days skipping potions class, leaving the library when you would see her walk in. 
Sirius was quickly getting irritated with your antics. He had been pestering you as to why you were avoiding Lily but you wouldn’t tell him or Regulus. 
If they knew she would find out.
So you just kept avoiding her and avoiding answering any questions your brothers would ask.
Eventually she found you and tried to talk to you which led to you ignoring her. It killed you to see the look on her face but it was necessary to protect yourself. You tried to convince yourself that it would be easier after a week. 
It wasn't.
For either of you apparently. 
Lily had managed to find you in the library while you were looking for a book to distract yourself with. You had put your guard down for a moment. You didn't even know she was there till she spoke.
“Y/N.”
She had said to gain your attention, when you realized there wasn't anywhere for you to go you decided to just get it over with to stop avoiding your problems for the first time in your life. 
You rolled your eyes and sighed looking at her for the first time in a week.
“What the hell do you want Evens? Shouldn't you be with your boyfriend, Potter?”
You say to Lily in a monotone voice looking her in the eyes.
“What are you talking about? I'm not dating James, I don't want him!”
You felt all the anger and insecurity start to cloud your brain. She was lying. How dare she lie to you. You were damned if you were made a fool once again. 
“You're such a liar Evans. Snape told me everything about how Potter has been pining for you for years! How he saw you two kiss at the Hufflepuff party! I can't believe I was stupid enough to believe you'd actually like me. I can't believe I was stupid enough to think Potter would actually look at me as a sister.”
You whisper yelled with your jaw clenched while the back of your eyes burned trying to hold back tears. 
“Me and James didn’t kiss I swear-”
You scoff, turning to walk away deciding you were done with this conversation, but Lily grabbed you by the arm, tapping you against the bookshelf.
“I didn't kiss James.He's a great friend but nothing more to me, and he does care for you, I know he does. But I don't want him, I want you. I've wanted you since the first time I laid eyes on you. I love everything about you. I love how loyal you are, how even if you didn’t talk to your brother you'd never let anyone speak ill of them. How despite being raised to hate someone like me you never held something as stupid as my blood statutes against me. I love how smart you are. How you cover your smile when you laugh. How your eyes light up when youre reading a book you enjoy. How when you get anxious you play with your ring. Everything. Can’t you see that?”
You searched her eyes trying to see if there was any lie, but all you saw was the truth. She meant every word and it scared you. 
Lily then cupped your cheek wiping away a tear you didn't know was there.
“Why would you want me? I'm cold, rude, cynical and angry all the time. I'm not a great person...”
Lily scoffs playfully while smiling.
“You're no angel but you’re my everything Y/N. To me you light up the room, you don't take shit from anyone, you stand up for what you believe and I hope you'll never change. You showed me that I'm enough. I'll never stop wanting you. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”
Lily whispers the last part brushing her nose against yours.
“What if I hurt you?”
You whisper your voice breaking a little.
“You'll probably hurt me a few times and I'll probably hurt you a few times but that's okay as long as we work it out together, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
The anger and insecurity finally unclouding your brain letting you take in how close you two are. 
Lily's hand is still cupping your cheek while her other hand is on your hip pressing you slightly in the bookshelf while she's pressed against you.
Lily's eyes flicker down to your lips and you nod softly letting her know it was okay. 
You both lean in, your lips touching for the first time.
You felt warmth go through your whole body. It was beyond a spark or fireworks. It felt as if a bomb had been dropped on you.��
That kiss broke something in you. 
But it wasn't bad. 
It had broken down every wall that you spent years building up brick by brick. 
In just a moment Lily Evans had managed to do something to you, that you and so many other people thought impossible. 
She healed a part of you. 
Her lips were so soft they felt like silk against yours. 
It felt like she was made to be with you.
It's soft and sweet, at first. Then it felt consuming. She was all around you and you didn't want it to be any other way. 
You could only feel her, her hand squeezing your hip as your hand was on the back of her head pulling her closer. 
You could only smell her cherry and vanilla perfume. It made you dizzy with how intoxicating it was.
You had forgotten that you were in public for a moment that was until you heard a throat clear. 
Both of you pulling away with hot faces you look to see a very amused and smirking Remus Lupin. 
“Finally. I was afraid neither of you would ever actually make a move. Just wait till Sirius hears about this.”
You groan, throwing your head back against the bookcase while Remus and Lily laugh at your expense. 
You never expected for anyone to be able to break down your walls, to fall for someone. 
Especially not someone like Lily. 
But fuck were you happy that she did.
⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳
24 notes · View notes
prettyboywoll · 2 days
Text
I missed you - Arber Xhekaj
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a’s notes: hello, my loves! During my break I came up with this cute little idea and knew I needed to write it. This is my first time writing for Arber … hope you guys like it<3
warnings: mentions long distance, crying, fluff, and not proofread
you gradually open your eyes, noticing the clock on your bedside table reads 5:52 am. You stretch and rub your eyes for a few seconds to clear the sleep from them. The sun's warm rays stream in through the clear curtains, casting a bright and beautiful golden glow across the room. You turn your head to the right and notice the empty space beside you where Arber usually sleeps. You reach out to touch his side, but feel nothing but cold sheets. A pout forms on your face as you miss the warmth and comfort he usually radiates.
As you lay in bed, you heard the bathroom door creak open and immediately lifted your head off the pillow. You saw your boyfriend walk out with a big smile on his face, and your heart swelled with warmth and love. He looked so cute in the matching pajamas you had purchased for him as a welcome home gift, along with a beautiful bouquet of flowers that you had placed on the bedside table last night. The reaction you got from him was so precious and heartwarming, you knew you had made the right choice in surprising him. He couldn't believe you had gotten him flowers, and his shock may have even brought a few tears to his eyes. You felt overjoyed seeing him so happy, and you knew that this was the beginning of a beautiful day.
you rose up to the sound of Arber’s voice. "Morning, gorgeous. Did you sleep well?" he asked, his eyes sparkling with love and affection. You couldn't help but smile as you jumped up into his arms, feeling the warmth of his embrace. Arber let out a laugh, making your stomach erupt with butterflies.
Wrapping your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, you played with the ends of his hair, tucking it behind his ear. Looking down at him, you nodded your head and said, "Good morning, handsome. I missed you."
He placed his face in the crook of your neck and gently kissed the side of your neck. Tightening his grip around your waist, he brought you in closer, "I missed you more. So happy to be home."
You couldn't help but smirk at him and ask, "Is that why you're up so early? Missed me that much, huh?" Watching his cheeks heat up with embarrassment, you brought your hands to caress his cheeks "You're so cute."
You both stood there admiring and holding each other for a while. The long distance had been hard, but when you got to see each other, it was worth it. He whispered, "I wanted to be up early to spend more time with you," as he held the necklace that hung beautifully on your chest between his fingers to calm himself down.
"It was so hard not having you by my side. Five months of not seeing your beautiful face beside me when I woke up almost killed me. I missed coming home to you after games, spending my off days with you, or even seeing the messes you would leave around the apartment. I missed it all, but most importantly, your hugs and kisses," he said, his eyes filling with tears.
You wiped some of the tears that had fallen down from his eyes and held him close. He hid his face in your neck while you rubbed his back, feeling grateful to be in each other's arms once again.
“I know, baby but I’m here now and don’t plan on leaving any time soon” you said. It made Arber look at you with a confused expression. That quickly went away when he realized what you were saying.
With a huge smile on his face, he lifted you up off the ground and twirled you around in circles, feeling an overwhelming sense of joy and relief. After spending countless months apart in a long-distance relationship, the love of his life was finally going to move in with him. He could hardly contain his excitement as he thought about all the memories they would create together in their new home. No more lonely nights or missed opportunities for quality time. It was finally time to start their lives together, side by side, in a place they could call their own.
As you stood there with tears streaming down your face, he reached out and gently held your face in his hands. With a tender touch, he wiped the tears away and leaned in to plant a loving kiss on your forehead. It was as if he wanted to assure you that everything was going to be alright. Arber pulled back, looking into your eyes and whispered, "This is the best day of my life." His words were soft and full of emotion, and they filled you with a sense of warmth and comfort. In that moment, you knew that you were exactly where you were meant to be.
40 notes · View notes
rosemaryfollows · 11 hours
Note
hii!! i was wondering if you could make a Vox X Reader fic, where Vox is a bit clingy & overprotective (but he’d never admit that), and wants y/n to stay at the Vees headquarters like all the time, but y/n is considering trying to get redeemed at the hazbin hotel, and since Alastor runs that hotel, Vox gets quite pissy & jealous, but he also wants to see y/n happy, so it’s a bit of a mental conundrum, but in the end Vox convinces y/n to stay with him (and then it could either go fluffy where they cuddle, or smutty where they…. get it on!)
why leave?
|| note: sorry if this got a little darker in topic LOL! I wrote this half asleep XP ||
|| word count: 1062! ||
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Vox voiced his main concern to you over and over again, pleading with you to change your mind. But that was one of the reasons his walls had finally fallen, your sheer stubborn nature.
"Vox, I already told you.. The rest of my family is up in heaven.. I have a chance to see them again!"
"And I told you, dearest," He paused, laughing as his hands rested on your hips, claws digging in as he pulled you chest to chest with him, "I can give you everything you need down here.. Whatever it is you want, tell me.. I can do it for you. I'd do it all for you." He mumbled, his voice sickly sweet as he spoke, "I'd create my own hotel if it just meant you stay with me."
Your heart ached at the sight, your dear Vox in front of you, pleading for any other outcome than the one where you leave him.. Alone.. The thought of it made you bite your lip, glancing to a nearby window, catching sight of the white orb sitting in the sky.. It almost burnt your eyes staring at it, hope fluttering in your chest.
Vox's hands quickly came up and turned your head to face him again, forcing you to look at him, "Please, _______." He seemed truly genuine for a moment, even dropping to his knees and wrapping his arms loosely around your waist. "Please, we can talk about this.." He sounded truly heartbroken.. But when he looked up at you and those all too familiar rings where pulsing through his eyes..
You, couldn't even remember what you two had been talking about.. You.. You had looked outside and then.. When you turned your head to look out the same window, you found the window blacked out, same with the one next to it, and the one next to that.. You shook your head and looked down at the last place you remember seeing Vox, on the floor..
What was he doing down there? Where was he now?? You spun on your heel, looking around the room you two had been in, spotting no sign of him, not even a sign of, anyone, to be honest. You walked out of the room, looking up and down the hall cautiously, walking down the long corridors, making your way to Vox's office, your head spinning as the bright lights seemed brighter than usual.. You swore your pupils were blown out from how much they were hurting. You passed one of the several mirrors Valentino had hung up around the tower, almost missing it.
Almost.
You had taken a few steps past it, before stumbling back to inspect yourself. And your newly blackened sclera.. You fall back to the other side of the hallway, the obvious sign that you sold your soul away staring back at you. That, wasn't there before.. Or, maybe it was.. You couldn't tell, you just knew that you wanted Vox, for him to hold you in his arms, tell you it was all going to be alright. You stagger away from the mirror, finally making progress up to the office where Vox could almost always be found.
The circle shaped double doors opened up for you, the sound of the metal scrapping against itself made your ears ring uncomfortably, your hands coming up to cover your ears as you looked down the stretch into the office, seeing things flicker on and off the screens in Vox's office, he was in here. You tried your hardest to call out to him, but found your vocal cords to be useless.
Vox spared you of trying to get his attention, turning around in his chair and standing up, arms open. The screens cleared of any little tabs that had been open, "______! There you are! Just the girl I wanted to see!" He made his way to you, and you met him halfway, clinging to his waist as tears burned in your lashes. You tried hard to say anything, looking up at him, tears streaming down your face as you tried to make him understand you.
"Woah, woah darling! Calm down! I understand, I do!" He pulled you into his body, his arms fitting snug around you. "I get it, you've told me about your accident before.. How you lost your voice.. It's truly upsetting.. I wish I could've been there when you woke from that nightmare.. I'm sorry dearest." A small kiss was pressed onto the top of your head.
What the fuck was he talking about?? You weren't in an accident! You could talk perfectly just a few.. A few.. You knew you could talk! Right..? You just shake your head and lean into him, hands gripping the back of his suit jacket, hands shaking as you pull away and point at your eyes, trying to see what he has to say about them. He just tilts his head a bit to the side before a cocky laugh leaves him, "Your eyes..? I can see you're crying, dear. See?" His screen opened a tab in the place of his face, showing your almost pathetic expressions, your eyes back.. to normal? Wait but..
You just sobbed silently into your hands and you try and make sense of what was happening. His hand rubbed almost mockingly against your back as he tried to soothe you, your chest tightening up as you found the air in the room stuffy and uncomfortable. What was he talking about? Nightmares and, what about your eyes? You knew what you saw, right? You pulled your own phone out of your pocket in a panic, scrambling to look at yourself in the camera. But the second you turned the screen on, it turned into a blank white, refusing to show you your own reflection. You look up at Vox with so much hurt in your eyes.
He glances down at your phone and laughs, plucking it out of your hands and crushing it like it was make of wafers and cream instead of his oh so precious tech. "Ah, and older model, I'll get you a replacement right away, for now, let's get you back into bed with a nice warm blanket huh?" He used his hands to straighten up your posture, smoothing out your clothes before leading you off to the bedroom you two shared.
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|| note: ​🇮​​🇫​ ​🇾​​🇴​​🇺​ ​🇱​​🇮​​🇰​​🇪​ ​🇲​​🇾​ ​🇨​​🇴​​🇳​​🇹​​🇪​​🇳​​🇹​, ​🇧​​🇪​ ​🇸​​🇺​​🇷​​🇪​ ​🇹​​🇴​ ​🇱​​🇮​​🇰​​🇪​ ​🇦​​🇳​​🇩​ ​🇷​​🇪​​🇧​​🇱​​🇴​​🇬​!! <3 ||
|| last note: sorry i've been away!! my nephew was born a few weeks ago so i haven't had a lot of time to focus on this!! ||
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citrus-lamb · 2 days
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HEY UHH CNA I REQUEST?
Logan x reader but the reader is very good at martial arts
So like maybe a headcannon or a story?...
a/n : hello! i got a little too into the story so it's pretty long, but i hope you enjoy! i tried my best with the martial arts thing, but the language could be wrong so i do apologize for that! it might be a bit ooc, as i'm trying to write these characters still. i enjoyed writing this, so i hope you enjoy reading it!
song : unspoken (dex)
Arcades are generally boring. You wouldn’t pick this place to hang out with the group, but everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, so you didn’t mind that much. You were zoning out, staring at the group and making sure no one got hurt.
“Hey, are you alright?” Logan asked, stepping away to talk to you. Your head snapped to him, being brought out of your thoughts quite quickly.
“Yeah, I’m fine, just bored.
“HEY GUYS! LET’S DO THIS ONE!” Aiden screamed, pointing towards a boxing-style game.
“Nevermind.”
~
The entire group decided to try the machine, just for the fun of it. Ben’s score was impressive, Ashlyn’s was good and so was Tyler’s. The group cheered you on as you stood in front of the machine. You hit it with your fist as hard as you good, and ended up with a score that rivaled Ben’s.
“WOO!” Aiden cheered. He slung his arm around you and started bragging. You saw Logan smile in the corner of your eye, and you smiled back. You heard the door of the arcade click open. Barron and his goons stood at the entrance.
Logan soon noticed this as well, going from watching Aiden bury himself in tickets to sweating over the fact that Barron was here.
Let’s be clear. You hated Barron. If there wasn’t any repercussions he’d already be in a ditch somewhere because of you. You would fight him over and over again to make sure Logan would never have to deal with that bastard. And you would win every. single. fight.
You watched him exit out the door, a shy kid in a blue hat trailing behind. That kid almost reminded you of Logan. That made you more angry. Fists clenched, almost snarling at the door they just left from. Oh, Lord, you thought, Hold me back.
“…I want to at least warn him.” Logan said.
“Well, go do what you gotta do.” Tyler said, “We’ll be here to help you if you need it.”
“Are you sure you don’t want anyone to come with you?” You asked, unsure about this whole idea.
“Actually… Could you come with?”
“Of course!”
~
You opened the door and held it open for Logan, allowing him to go first. You didn’t want to speak for him—as he was getting better at standing up for himself every day. This was a step in the right direction, you just wanted to make sure Barron didn’t pull a stunt you could prevent.
“Haha, wow! That caught me off guard. I never would’ve expected to see you here, four eyes. And who’s this lovely person you got with you?” Barron said.
You clenched your fists—almost enough to make you cut through your skin—and stared straight into his soul. Logan looked nervous. About Barron? About you starting a fight where there didn’t need to be one? Logan wasn’t stupid. He saw your score at the boxing machine. He saw you training with Ashlyn’s parents. You mentioned to him once that you had martial arts experience. He had seen it first hand. If a fight started, Barron wouldn’t be the one winning. He might not even make it out alive.
“It’s been a while, pal, how’ve ya been?” Barron smiled, as if he didn’t bully the shit out of Logan every day for at least a year.
Logan ignored Barron, turning towards the kid in the blue hat. You continue to glare daggers into Barron from where you were standing. “My name’s Logan.”
“Oh… I’m Noah.”
“…Is he making you do his homework? Because you shouldn’t have to do that.”
“H-he’s not making me… He just asked for help.”
“And you felt guilty saying no, right?” The conversation Logan was having with Noah faded into the background as you watched Barron intently. You watched him get up from the trashcan and walk over to Logan.
“Who do you think you are, twerp? Stop interfering.” Barron started jabbing Logan’s head, and continued, “You’re just a useless loser whose parents didn’t even want you.”
You stepped forward, ready to axe-kick this guy to the floor and beat him to a pulp, but Logan didn’t need your help. He swatted Barron’s hand away, “I’m useless? When you’re the one that refuses to do your own work and forces others to do it for you?” Chills ran down your spine at Logan’s words. “When you so pathetically waste others’ time while they are actually working for a better life?”
He was practically shouting now, “When you have nothing to give, not even a simple thanks?! You only take and harass and look down on others! If anyone here is truly and utterly useless it’s—”
Barron grabbed Logan’s hair and pushed him away, bringing up his arm to throw a punch at Logan. Logan quickly twisted him and threw him face-first into the concrete. His hands were pinned to his back by Logan. Barron struggled to get out of Logan’s grip. The lights flickered. You panicked.
“I think it’d be wise for you to start caring.” Logan said.
This place felt like the phantom realm all of a sudden. You turned to the door that opened with more of Barron’s friends. They held him back but you were at your limit. Logan can’t get himself out of everything. Ben felt the same as you watched him come out from behind a wall and grab the red-head’s face. You performed a quick back kick on the blonde.
Full hell broke loose.
The group was fighting others, and you were taking on upwards of three people at a time. Your teacher always taught you that violence was never the answer, but you disagree. You were kicking and hitting with more precision than ever before—even better than when you were in class.
You heard a scream sounding like Ashlyn. She fell to the floor gripping her ears, headphones scattered across the pavement. You ran over to her, defending yourself from Barron’s goons as you went. You grabbed her headphones as she screamed, “CALM DOWN!”
Barron and his friends left quickly after. You gave Ashlyn her headphones back and beelined to Logan. “Are you okay? You’re not too badly hurt right? I wanted to help you more but you did amazing on your own so—”
“I’m alright, don’t worry. But, you’re bleeding.”
“…Fuck.”
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rozaceous · 10 months
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mariko, violence, and the meta of violence in fanfiction
ok so it’s apparently not enough that i write the most indulgent kind of fic, but now i’m writing an essay about my fic. this got so long, abt 2k total. if i said sorry, it’d be insincere, but at least no one is making you read it?
i want to piggy-back off the post i made earlier this week where i was talking about how mariko was not well-adjusted, and was, in fact, doing extremely poorly. what this post turns into, however, is an analysis not only of mariko’s relationship to violence and her subsequent trauma, but a meta-analysis of how violence is treated in canon more broadly, and how that ends up translating into fic. because, and i mean this in a way that is distinctly not about tooting my own horn, i’m approaching violence with a different lens than what i've found in a majority of fic, but also in a way that is unique to SI fic.
‘to continue being alive is also an art’ starts in medias res ch 1 with mariko haring off to the confrontation at the bridge in wave. we find out later, she’s fresh from just having killed people for the first time. kakashi and mariko have their little chat abt it in ch 2, but it’s treated as done and resolved afterwards. it was self-defense, she was protecting others, she was justified and shouldn’t lose sleep over it.
mariko also kills during the chuunin exams itself (members of the sound team) and during the finals (she on-screen beheads a foreign ninja). there’s a sort-of killing w the itachi puppet in ch 15, and a mention of sasori, but otherwise we don’t get any particular details of her killing people until the events of ch 17, where she kills danzo and the rest of the elder council, as well as whoever was caught in the bombings. (i’m going to word-of-god this for everyone right now and tell you that there were people caught in the bombings, just like i will confirm that she’s killed other people in the interim of the time skip.)
from a writing-level, i approached violence in a very specific way. most of the violence is off-screen and mentioned as a retrospective; what occurs on-screen i tried to keep brief and matter-of-fact. graphic, maybe, but not gory. i also try not to play violence as something that’s done for laughs, like how sakura will beat naruto up in canon when he annoys her. (we’ll come back to this.) and a lot of this has to do with how mariko herself deals with violence.
i mentioned in that previous post, that mariko grows up in a militaristic culture where violence is a norm and acceptable, as someone who is not actually a kid who can be acculturated into that thinking in the same way. mariko comes from a culture and personal history where interpersonal violence is abhorrent. she tries to duck out of canon events and any requirement of violence on her own part by being a medic, but the team assignments (the narrative/me, if we’re wanting to get meta abt it lol) prevent her from achieving this relatively more peaceful role.
when mariko gets assigned to team seven, she has to get real comfortable with violence real fast. she’s already befriended naruto (and hahahaha you may remember that she does so by punching a guy 🙂) and she cares about kakashi and sasuke. she’s come to the realization that this is her lot, these are her people, they are her responsibility. as she notes in ch 2, she’s not good enough to solve her problems without killing. this is also to say, she’s not good enough to problem-solve without violence. it’s beyond her capacity and skill when the stakes are as high as they are. let’s also consider that caring about everyone is a luxury that mariko cannot afford, widespread mercy is potentially a death sentence, and so she narrows that care down to a handful of people. and so if she’s taking the well-being of her teammates as her ultimate good, she will absolutely let the ends justify the means.
added onto any personal sentiment is that, as far as mariko knows, if anyone on team seven dies, the entire world is fucked.
mariko one hundred percent and sincerely believes that violence is wrong. even when it’s justified, self-defense, etc., mariko views it as ugly. there may be situations where she assigns herself less blame, but she is always blaming herself for being too weak to find another way, because her (somewhat unrealistic) view is that violence is the sign that you’ve run out of other options to get your way.
however, with the stakes being as they are, and with the world she’s in treating violence as a form of currency, mariko sees violence as a necessity.
so we can see the dissonance, right? she has to use violence to protect not only herself, but the people she loves, and the entire world. and mariko’s fundamental optimism is that people are worth helping and that the world is worth saving, because if she doesn’t believe in that with her whole heart, she’d literally just curl up and die. she wants to be kind and to help and nurture and build, but her most effective tools—once again, she views using violence as a failure—are the ones she hates the most. but she has to use them. more, she has to be very, very good with them.
this isn’t a small-level dissonance, it’s a diametric opposition. so in terms of narration, mariko can’t think too much about the violence she’s enacted because it would destroy her. she knows this about herself. she hates it. but it’s necessary. and so she doesn’t think about it. and if she does think about it, she’s very clinical and writes it off as unfortunate and necessary and—well, it’s done, no use crying over it now. she’s disassociated herself from it. and i wanted that perspective reflected in the way i wrote about violence.
the other aspect of how i wanted to handle violence is from how i approach the canon. we’ve all read the fics where konoha is a grimdark dictatorship, with death and torture around every corner. and, uh, it is? it’s a fascist war machine, plainly. it’s child soldiers and state-sanctioned assassination baked into the world economy? there’re multiple instances of genocide? it’s a fucking nightmare.
i, personally, am not able to brush aside those things. i like the meta and the reading-into-things and the what-if’s that happen when you don’t take things at face value. so for me, the writer, i can’t glorify violence. there’s a reason i wrote mariko walking through the uchiha compound in the way that i did. so i’m not going to write like killing a thousand people in one go is anything but horrifying (staring at you, minato), even if i’m not interested in directly interrogating every particular instance of violence within the narrative.
but canon doesn’t approach it from this angle. for canon, this is all the quirky backdrop, and violence and killing are bad, but very few people tend to die in a meaningful sense. violence doesn’t often have lasting consequences. (this is, also, the evolution that Naruto goes through as a series, where it starts off as a critique of the state and then turns into bootlicking, but that’s another meta that plenty of others have written better than i can.) in canon, the ability to do high-damage moves is considered a cool power-up. in fact, your power level is directly correlated with your physical danger level—ie, your ability to do violence.
moreover, casual violence is funny in canon. (we’re back to sakura beating up naruto and it being treated as a joke.) these things are entirely the conceit of reading/watching canon, and it’s what we do with every piece of media. this isn’t a judgment! we are suspending our disbelief and buying into the premise of the story that gets told. and i would hardly have written over 50k of naruto fanfic if i didn’t find it innately compelling and, yes, fun.
so this is where the presentation of violence in fanfiction can get dicey, because not every author is approaching canon with the same spirit that canon itself has. i also want to make the blanket statement that i don’t think any one interpretation is right or wrong, it’s that they’re all interpretations. i’ve read and liked fics of all varieties; i’m not morality policing, i’m trying to place myself and my own fic within a broader phenomenon of how fics present the morality of violence. i don’t personally care what one fic thinks is morally good, nor do i think that a particular presentation necessarily corresponds with what the author thinks in real life, or even that a presentation has to be consistent from fic to fic. these are all lenses/perspectives, and fanfic is inherently about playing with the little details of canon and going, “And?”
so on one end, you’ll have some fics that 100% correspond with the attitude towards violence that canon has and aren’t too interested into getting into the grittier moral quandaries of the canon past what canon presents as good or bad. on the other, you’ll have other fics that will rip the morals of canon to shreds. again, i like both! it always depends what the focus of your story is!
i feel like i’m somewhere in the middle. i feel like a lot of naruto fics commit hard to either of the above scenarios from the start and i...don't (as one commenter pointed out). there's a level of progression I'm trying to portray. and, i have to say, part of the comment that @vermillioncrown left on ch 17 really resonated: “She's sunk as low as them, she's just as fucked up in this second life despite knowing another moral framework and society. And she's mud-wrestling them down at ground level lol.”
mariko ‘knows better’ but isn’t better. she doesn’t feel like she’s a good person. arguably, she isn’t a good person. she has enough of an outsider perspective to see the system for what it is, but she is still inherently within the system. she is absolutely playing the game, and doesn’t have any moral high ground. she kills, she lies, she deceives, she betrays. she harms people. her intentions might be noble, but as tumblr loves to say abt causing others harm: intention isn’t magic. mariko wants better and is trying to achieve it, but she’s in the system and can’t get out of it because we all inherently live in a society, and removing yourself from society isn’t exactly as feasible as our ideals might like.
and because tcba is, mostly, from mariko’s perspective, her understanding of violence colors the narrative. because mariko is an SI/OC, her perspective is one that is ALWAYS going to be a negotiation of ‘canon at face value’ and ‘me personally doing an analysis.’ and i think that’s really cool and interesting, which is why i’m doing it!
but—and this is not me throwing shade or getting mad or singling anyone out—this is also a take that is a little counter to broader fandom habit that aligns with ‘omg she was so badass when she killed that guy!’ or ‘yes! fuck it up!’
reiterating that i’m not trying to scold or slight anyone, bc this is the ‘canon at face value’ take, where we are supposed to see these things as badass and praise-worthy, and often these are climactic scenes where mariko is ostensibly cast as the righteous victor! and if people don’t see what i’m trying to do as different to that take, that’s also on me as the writer, especially bc, as i already said, this is a story that is trying to negotiate those different perspectives on violence. but i also want to point out that there’s more than just ‘violence as badassery’ happening. this is also ‘violence as tragedy.’
and since the meaning and role of violence isn’t a theme that’s going to go anywhere any time soon, i thought it was worth discussing.
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day 18: The Warmth of Your Doorway
Niamh the huntswoman has been injured and she won't say how, Agatha the local witch tries to help her, they both manage to talk about their feelings, though it's not easy.
Rating: G
Length: 2287
Warnings: mentions of blood and wounds.
Read on AO3 or down below :)
The thunder started late in the night, and continues into the early morning. The goats sleep in their barn, though I am unable to keep my eyes closed, I keep the lamp burning through the night. The moonlight blotted out by gray clouds and fat raindrops. 
I’m not usually frightened by storms, but the howling from the forest that hasn’t stopped since nightfall makes the hairs on my arms rise. Villagers’ stories of werewolves whisper through my mind. I try to convince myself the wolf is not getting closer, despite the howls becoming louder. I run through defensive spells in my mind. 
Lighting flashes. Thunder rolls in. A scream from somewhere in the woods. 
Heavy footsteps outside my cottage. 
I bolt up, take hold of my staff. 
I step carefully to the window. 
A dark shape collapses a few meters from my doorstep. The thing solidifies into a person as my eyes adjust to the darkness. I think of leaving them there, in the rain, torn clothes exposing skin to the cold air. It’s not my problem. But as I peer into the moonless night, the body becomes a familiar shape. The huntswoman. Niamh. She takes care of the foxes and weasels when they start to bother the goats. She brings me tender veal, and asks for nothing in return. She asks about my potions and genuinely listens. 
But she’s been different lately, colder towards me, when I thought we were growing closer. We were friends, and I had sensed–or perhaps merely hoped–we were on the edge of becoming something else. But she avoids me now. 
And I saw a large wolf in the woods last month, with blue eyes identical to Niamh’s. 
I search the black forest behind her, scanning all that’s visible through the glass. She seems to be alone. 
I throw on a shall, open my door, gather my night-skirt, and run through the pelting rain. 
I kneel next to the huntswoman, her eyes stay closed, seemingly unaware of my presence.
Niamh’s sturdy form shudders with each breath she takes. 
Her winter clothes are torn to shreds, revealing deep gashes in her skin, her only protection the thick fur cloak she wears. Blood runs from the wounds, mixing with rain.
I cannot lift her on my own. I cannot rouse her. I can hardly keep the panic from overflowing within me. 
Another crash of thunder in the distance–Niamh lets out a sob.
I manage to drag her dead weight just across the threshold into my home. I slam the door behind us, keen to keep the outside away. 
I grab my lantern.
Niamh shivers on my floor, she’s soaked to the bone. She doesn't respond when I shake her or plead with her to wake up.
She smells of wolf. Tufts of blood-soaked fur stick to her. It is not the fur of her cloak. Some fur is the same chestnut brown as the short hair on her head, some is different, reddish-brown, like iron-rich earth. I have my suspicions, but I still can’t be sure what this means. 
I can’t focus on that when I need to help her.
I cast as many healing and warming spells as I can remember with my staff, and then cast each one twice over. I remove her soaked cloak and drape my thick quilt over her, to warm her and to cover her naked form.
I rush between my kitchen and front door, carrying all the things I need to help Niamh, hoping they'll be enough. Clean rags, water, warm bone broth from the pot over the fire, healing paste, a potion for pain. 
As I go back and forth the huntswoman slowly comes too. She tries to sit up but cringes and her head thuds on my wood floor. 
I grab the pillow from my bed, help her lean against the wall as I don't have the strength to help her into a chair. 
She keeps her eyes squeezed shut, as if the dim lantern light is too much. 
I kneel beside her and hold a cup of water to her pale lips, slowly she drinks it. When she’s emptied the cup I lift the swirling green potion to her. The taste is medicinal and bitter, so just when I sense Niamh’s about to complain about it I give her the bowl of warm broth. It helps chase away the bitterness. 
After a moment, Niamh opens her blue eyes. She looks so weary. 
“What happened?” I ask, trying not to sound frantic. Trying not to fill in the blanks with the worst possible scenario.
Niamh just shakes her head and groans in response–she seems almost embarrassed. 
“I can better help if I know what I’m treating,” I say, dipping a cloth in the bowl of water. My healing paste will work on any injury, but I could cast protection spells if she’d let me, I could make her undesirable to werewolves, if she tells me that’s what has attacked her. 
I take Niamh’s thick arm, wiping up the blood smeared on her skin from the deep gashes in her shoulder. They could be claw marks, they could be slices from a sword. I can't know for sure, and Niamh won't  explain. 
“I don’t need your help,” she says, pulling the quilt higher with her other hand, trying to cover more of her chest. 
“So I should have left you dying on my doorstep?”
“Wasn’t dying-” her gaze won’t meet mine “-’m fine, I won’t trouble you any more.” 
I press the cloth to her shoulder and she hisses, pulling away from me. 
I grab her again, hold her more firmly. 
“Stay still,” I say sternly.
“It hurts!” She struggles away from my grasp again.  
“It’s going to hurt-” I wrestle her arm back “-you’ve been torn up like a cat’s scratching stick. But this wound needs to be cleaned”
“I am fine .”
I ignore this lie and continue rinsing her shoulder.
“You shouldn’t be out in these woods at night, Niamh. You know the dangers more than most.” Stories of witches (including myself), ghosts, fae, and werewolves have always surrounded this forest. Some are only stories, but Niamh has seen the truth behind these tales. So have I. 
Once the blood is cleaned off her arm I wring out the cloth, and move to the three jagged cuts on Niamh’s thigh. I carefully lift the quilt off her leg. Niamh flinches when the cold water touches the torn flesh there. 
“You shouldn’t tell me what to do with my life,” she keeps her face mostly neutral, only small traces of pain and anger visible in the way she knits her brow. 
“Perhaps that’s what you need, you wouldn’t be in this state if I had anything to say about it!” I say, my voice rising though I try to stay in control. She acts as if she’s invincible, as if she wasn’t lying in a bloody heep outside mere minutes ago.
“You know nothing of what I need, Agatha,” she says lowly, like a threat. 
I ignore it.  
“I know you came to my cottage, I know you need someone to clean the wolf fur out of your wounds… I know you’ll need a seamstress to replace the clothes that strangely hang in tatters off your shoulders,” I say pointedly. 
“You speak nonsense.” The huntswoman crosses her arms, stares at the floor. 
“I know the howling in the woods has stopped since you arrived here,” I push. 
Niamh pushes off the floor with her good arm, forgetting about the quilt. 
“Then let me leave, you have no reason to keep me here,” she says angrily. 
I try my hardest to ignore her bare skin. Now is definitely not the time.
“You need someone to take care of these cuts. Niamh sit. Please,” I motion to my chair by the fireplace.
She hesitates, I’m unsure if she’s swayed by my words or the realization that she’s weaker than she thought. 
“Let me give you this healing paste-” I hold up the jar of thick light-pink paste. I should apologize for accusing her of being a werewolf (even if we both know she is one). Really I should let her leave, considering what she is, but I never seem to do what I should when it comes to Niamh. 
“What is that?” She asks, moving to the chair, draping the quilt over her shoulders. She cautiously eyes the gently glowing jar in my hand.
“Oh, uh,” I’m surprised by her tone shift, “there’s knitbone petals, to stop the bleeding, honeycomb, and lavind to speed up the healing of the flesh.”
Niamh takes the jar from my hand.
“Knitbone can stop bleeding? I always thought it was just a weed with pretty pink flowers.”
“Yes, well, the natural world has much to offer if you pay attention. Now let me put it on,” I say, overlapping my hand with hers, dipping a new clean rag in the paste. 
She watches me move closer to her, 
“I don’t need anymore help-” she stands abruptly- “I can walk home now,” Niamh says, closed off again. She makes for my door, but I block her path, place a hand on her damp chest, as if I have the strength to stop her. 
“Niamh you are not well. Let me heal you. Stay, just until sunrise,” I plead with her, I cannot stand to let her out there again in such a vulnerable state, after whatever or whoever did this to her. 
“You should know better than to feed animals you do not want haunting your doorstep,” she says, hiding behind metaphors, pushing past me.
“Who said I do not want you haunting me, Niamh?” I say, stepping into her space, pushing too far again. She does not want me, or my help. Maybe I should accept that, let her disappear into the storm. But I see fear in her eyes. She fears what waits for her outside, but maybe more than that, she fears herself here. 
She sighs, resting her cold forehead on my shoulder. The jar of healing paste trapped in the small space between us. The fight is suddenly gone from her, replaced with weariness.
“You know what I am, surely, you know,” her voice a low whisper now, as if there’s someone else to listen in, “At the very least you have an idea. Please,” a shaky desperation in her tone, “Agatha, please , do not show me mercy I do not deserve. Make this easier for the both of us.”
I place a hand on her wet cheek, make her look down to my face.
“I can handle my own against a few wolves,” I smile, making light of things. I lose the confidence to tell her what I truly mean, to tell her I want her close, always, even with fangs in her mouth and a need to use them.
She searches my face, unsure what to say. She places a hand over mine, still holding her cheek. 
“Stay,” I ask again, “if only until the sun comes up.”
“Agatha-” she starts to argue. 
“Just until the sun rises, let me keep you safe.” 
She sits, this time in my dining chair, loosens her grip on the blanket. Her large shoulders slump in. Gently, slowly, the way I approach injured wildlife, I cover her wounds with the paste.
“You will regret this kindness. You will not want me used to the warmth of your home, Agatha,” she says, shutting her eyes against the tears welling there.
“Niamh, clearly you do not know what I want.”
I focus on the larger cuts, keeping my head down. I use my long hair as a thin curtain hiding my face, worried she will find what I desire plainly written on my face. Worried she will not want that kind of desire, not from me. 
“You heard me howling outside,” she says with a practiced neutrality, daring me to give in, to agree that she’s a monster. 
I keep my eyes on her arms, searching for injury. I have no response. I know what she is, but I do not fear her. She's not a monster. 
Silence sits with us as I tend to her wounds–Niamh helps, covering her arms with the healing salve. I wrap her leg with cloth while she wraps her shoulder.
“What do you want, Agatha?” Niamh asks, standing once I’m finished with her leg. Her blue eyes search me again.  
“I want you to stay until you’re healed,” I say, though she asked a different question. 
“I want you , here. I-” I can't find the words I need. 
Niamh takes my hand in hers. I try to give her what she wants, what I want her to have from me. 
I squeeze her hand. 
“I want to hold you, Niamh. I want you howling outside my door. I-I want you to need me, the way it feels so easy for me to need you.” 
“Truthfully?” she asks, a hesitant wonder in her voice. 
“Yes, truly I do,” I say smiling, touching a hand to her cheek. 
“Okay.” 
“Yeah?” 
“Yes, Agatha. I’ve-” her eyes shift away from me for a moment- “I’ve needed you for a long time now.”
The large smile that crosses my face is quickly covered with Niamh’s lips. 
I kiss her back, joy radiating from every touch between us. She is still a bit cold, but I have plenty of time to warm her up. 
We lie in my bed, both needing the rest. I hold Niamh close through the rest of the night. And she stays with me through the morning, and the afternoon, and the evening.
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went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠
#like. to be clear this was the first time i've been literally anywhere but doctor's appointments in 4 years#not just because of the pandemic but because of mental and physical exhaustion#so it was a Big Mistake to go from 0 to 100 and not ease myself into it at all#but at the same time........ it was a fucking hellscape of people. i don't think any kind of buildup could have prepared me for it at all.#it was so much less crowded in 2020 (ironically the very last place i ever went; literally on the BRINK of covid)#and now idk what it's become. a monster con. it was unbelievable.#but i was only there for less than an hour but i was so so so terrified that i very nearly left before even seeing him#i couldn't even fully enjoy meeting him as kind as he was because i was so anxious and distracted#and when i got back to the car i just fucking cried.........#the last five days i've just been sitting in fear waiting to feel Any sort of symptoms#i wore two masks and again was barely there for long but Still#and everyone around me was so chill as if everything was normal and No One was wearing a mask :))))) it's not fucking fair man :)))))#insert the 'they don't know' meme; they don't know how much covid can destroy your body even if you get a 'mild' case#i would never want to be that ignorant even if i wasn't disabled and didn't have reason to worry (but everyone has reason to worry!!!)#but also. ignorance is bliss and it just really fucking sucks man.#it really fucking sucks. why do they get to be happy and enjoying life and not /me?/#why can't i do just ONE thing for myself without having it tainted by anxiety and fear that i'm going to die horribly???#while they get to do fucking EVERYTHING???#if they all just wore masks we could all enjoy ourselves much more comfortably than some of us are now#but no that's too much to ask from people 🙃🙃🙃#shit sucks man. the world sucks. something that should be a happy memory for me was simultaneously the most awful experience#and i don't know how to feel about it now that it's over#he knew that i was afraid and at the end he told me that he hoped to see me again at another event someday#and that made me cry because it felt like dazai telling me to live. and i want to. but i don't know how to when the world is like this now.#i desperately want to be able to see him again someday but right now after how terrifying that was i never want to go to a con ever again..#i wanted to ask him things about the manga and about dazai but i was being rushed and stressed so i couldn't ugh#(and doing that is hard enough anyway cause disability and i have to talk with my phone bahhhh)#at least i was able to give him my note *sigh*
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