#and i thought i'd do this now while the story is still fresh in my memory!

[wackus-bonkus-maximus]

odnlb writing process/workshop

this is mainly for my own reference. however, if this post ends up helping you with yours, then even better! 😊

most of you know, i wrote this fic as a practice for using save the cat (aka snyder) structure, and so now that it's complete i have the outline to come back to in a way that i understand and can use in future wips! did i deviate from this structure? yes. a lot. did i still follow all the beats though? i think so! check out how i formatted my outline!

my starting point: marinette 🐞

want: revenge against monarque

need: replace hate with love

this gave me a very clear picture of the emotional journey she would undergo. once i figured out her emotional need and decided what she would do to fulfill that need, i was able to pretty much plot out the entire fic. we needed a hero (in her case, an anti-hero) we could follow through an entire 45 chapter fic, and odnlb marinette gave us a reason to care about her and root for her right off the bat!

here's what save the cat's 15-beat structure looks like at a glance:

(isn't it just beautiful? 😍)

for odnlb, i combined this structure with the 3-act, 9-block, 27-chapter method:

lol so i did not exactly stick to this, as was my plan (my huge cast of characters wanted more from me.) however, i did stick with the proper beats...it just ended up expanding into 5 acts.

this is how my outline ended up looking (orange = save the cat, purple = 3 act 9 block 27 chapters):

act 1 - ladybug meets the villains

block 1

opening image - marinette leaves a rose at chat noir's statue. her eyes are dead (like him)

introductions/setup - 6 years later, marinette works for chloe. adrien still models for gabriel & is estranged from her and his old friends

theme stated - alya says, "you're getting better." (marinette has not been focused on hatred, but her personal growth)

catalyst/ inciting incident - bunnyx steals the rabbit miraculous & draws out the villain team

debate/ immediate reaction / fallout - villain team decides to abandon plan to use rabbit miraculous & get ladybug's miraculous instead. marinette decides to get cat walker's miraculous & kill monarque with it.

block 2

actions - ladybug interrogates adrien agreste bc he is close to lila, chloe, and felix (primary suspects). he doesn't give her any information, but reassures her he is on her side.

consequences - volpina attacks ladybug, villain team overpower her

block 3

pressure - ladybug is outnumbered, cannot stand against all the holders & their power-ups. villain side: ladybug is onto them. ladybug needs an ally & turns to kagami (also close to felix), but kagami turns ladybug down (but why?).

pinch/plot twist - cat walker contacts ladybug: tells her monarque is going to resume akuma attacks unless lb gives her miraculous

break into act 2 - monarque attempts to akumatize ladybug, but cat walker saves her. realizes villains' motivations are split.

act 2 - rise of monarque

block 4

new world - luka and zoe come to town. adrien is in trouble but felix stands by him. su han abandons marinette; he cannot teach her bc she has too much hatred.

fun and games/ b story/ies - felix and adrien switch so adrien can meet his friends for drinks. chloe sneaks snake miraculous back to luka. felix and lila threaten each other. felix likes kagami.

bad guys close in - monarque akumatizes nino to punish adrien. marinette finds out cat walker is a sentimonster

juxtaposition/ old vs new - luka/aspik shows up & joins marinette's side (she's not alone anymore). adrien realizes he has to be alone bc of what happened to nino. kagami confronts felix and gets the dragon miraculous (war begins)

act 3 - adrien identity reveal

block 5

build-up - luka and marinette plot to find the sentimonster. luka confronts adrien indirectly, suspects monarque is gabriel. marinette sleuths on felix (suspected peacock holder) only to discover adrien is a sentimonster/cat walker. kagami finds ladybug & offers to spy on felix & the villain team for her. monarque akumatizes zoe to punish chloe. ryuko gets her felix's amok in the fight, but gets it back when ladybug uses it against him. to stop ladybug harming argos & ryuko, luka reveals chat noir is still alive.

midpoint - montparnasse scene: ladybug confronts cat walker, he admits the truth. stand off with monarque until aspik & mellona rescue ladybug.

reversal - marinette is no longer hate driven, but driven by love to save adrien

act 4 - angrybug reversal

block 6

reaction - due to big emotional distress, ladybug goes into the avatar state (foreshadowing 👀). luka and chloe calm her down. feligami get together. adrien pleads to his father not to harm ladybug.

action/trials (raise the stakes) - the more adrien breaks his amok, the more he breaks his miraculous. marinette is set up to "spy" on adrien for the villain team. villain team plot to corner ladybug at dj wifi wedding.

dedication - adrinette kiss scene. adrien promsies himself he will harm himself before he lets harm come to ladybug. marinette promises no more harm will come to him.

block 7

calm before the storm - lila flashback: she killed nathalie and has been akumatized/transformed for 6 years. balcony scene: marinette tries to keep adrien close to no avail.

pinch/plot twist - volpina and monarque attack chloe, luka, and zoe. vesperia and carapace get their miraculous back. ladybug tries to heal cat walker & free him with her power, but his miraculous is too broken. she can only save him by getting his amok.

everything goes wrong/ dark night of the soul/ all is lost - lila & felix flashback: lila is monarque reveal. ladybug confronts gabriel agreste & tries to kill him, but can't (bc she is no longer full of hate). realizes monarque is lila. monarque takes felix, but kagami takes the other miraculous back to ladybug.

act 5 - fall of monarque

block 8 - finale

power within - team assemble. chloe uses mouse miraculous to activate other holders. lila finds marinette's identity.

action - monarque attacks. luka sacrifices himself to get the upper hand. alya gets the fox miraculous off lila, all her illusions drop. lila akumatizes timetagger, bunnyx shows up to get him. team fights argos and his sentimonster, red moon, to the death. chloe incapacitates argos.

converge - monarque takes the senti-twins and runs. remainder of the team follow her to agreste mansion.

block 9

final confrontation/final battle - monarque tries to make felix fix her miraculous. ladybug and team show up. monarque morphs into monster and attacks. gabriel sacrifices himself to save lb, but monarque still gets the upper hand. chat noir cataclysms monarque with a broken miraculous.

climax - the broken cataclysm destroys the world, but carapace's shield protects remainder of team. with adrien gone, felix is free and emilie is awake. ladybug goes toe-to-toe with broken miraculous final form chat noir, but her power is too weak compared to his untethered destruction. then felix gives her the peacock miraculous and she uses it to create a new bond for adrien, tethering him to life with her love.

resolution/denouement - all of paris knows chat noir is alive! big parade for heroes. ladybug and chat noir do a william and kate kiss. alya shoos off su han. felix gives gabriel to chloe and decides to work for tsurugi tech so he can stay with kagami. zoe and luka decide to go back home for a bit then come to stay too. emilie wants to be close to felix and adrien, but she is def not the priority for them atm. marinette takes the butterfly miraculous back from emilie. adrinette go off on a honeymoon vacation. adrien practices his proposal on a beach.

final image - adrien and marinette playing in the water on a beach on la reunion. “camera” pans away from their silhouettes running around on the sand, back to their stuff on the beach. shows a ring box in adrien’s bag with plagg & tikki chilling.

if this helped you out, i'm so glad! it definitely helped me see how to organize a story. i think if i ever do a fic like odnlb again, i will definitely do this for it.

#i finally finished answering all my comments lol #and i thought i'd do this now while the story is still fresh in my memory! #hopefully this will be helpful to other people as well as me #i just know i would have liked a map-out of a story i knew very well with all the proper beats #but now that i know i CAN do this kind of story with this kind of structure then i know i can do it again #also i am not claiming to be a story structure expert by any means #i am just sharing how i did it and how i see it #i could be totally off about some of these! #constructive criticism is always welcome <33 #also i am not saying this is the only way to tell a story #save the cat is definitely not the end all be all of narrative formulas #many stories are told according to different structures! and told well! #this is just the one i wanted more practice with #and one i thought fitting for odnlb since it was such a huge story #odnlb #one does not love breathing #snyder structure #save the cat #3 act 9 block 27 chapter method #writing #story structure #5 acts #might update this as we go forward

[russellsppttemplates]

Let me love on you a little more (Charles Leclerc)

Sometimes, it felt like what you were doing was a drop in the immense ocean, but Charles always made you feel a little better when you had the chance to go home

Note: english is not my first language. I based this on the news and stories I heard from people on the front line! This is in no way romanticising or summing up what happened, much less downplaying it! I hold huge huge respect and gratitude for healthcare workers!

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: Covid-19 pandemic and themes associated with reader being a front line worker as a doctor (mentions hospitals, tests, death)

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3

"You can follow the purple line to the testing site we have here", you told the elderly woman.

"Is it going to hurt too much? My neighbour had to get tested to weeks ago when she visited her family and she said it's uncomfortable", she mused.

"It's a little itchy, I have to admit it, but it shouldn't hurt you, just a little bit uncomfortable, Mrs. Loire", you attempted to soothe her, your usual hand on the patients' arm now a strongly inadvisable way to comfort them.

"Thank you, Dr. Y/L/N", he said, her eyes letting you know that behind her mask there was a big smile on appreciation and gratitude.

Taking temperatures and checking flu like symptoms was not how you thought your medical career would pan out once you chose your speciality, but the new normal was this and you were working your best to do what you got into medicine to do in the first place, improve and save lives.

"How many people have you sent to the testing site?", your colleague Marina asked you when she noticed that for now, there were no walk-ins or ambulances with new patients.

"Just this morning, twenty-five", you sighed, "the closest I got to a potential non-Covid case was the kid that broke his arm, but Ortho swooped him right from me".

"Are you truly so disappointed about not being on an Orthopedics case?", she chuckled, "you hated everytime you had to be on that floor", she argued.

"I'd do anything that isn't watching people die because we don't have enough equipment or because we don't know enough about this disease to stop it", you let your frustrations out.

"We're going to win this, Y/N", Marina squeezed your shoulder, "you're usually the hopeful one on the service, but I can hope for the two of us today", she replied earnestly, "I'm going to have lunch now, do you want to go with me and sit on opposite tables so I can at least look at your face without a mask from a distance?".

"Let's go, I'm starving and I'm going up to the ward this afternoon", you raised your eyebrows, tidying up the station for whoever would cover the afternoon shift there.

As you walked to the area you had lunch in, you were happy to find the sun shinning outside on the green park area where you or the patients' family would take them to get fresh air when they were still admitted and recovering. It wasn't a thing now for obvious reasons, so you and Marina ended up in there keeping a safe distance while enjoying the feeling on the sun on your bare skin.

"Do you sometimes feel like you're losing all sense of time in there?", Marina nudged to the big building, "my mother's birthday was yesterday and I thought it was still a month away - she called me to say she had left a piece of cake for me by my door".

"Yesterday, Charles called me and told me he has going to wash my favourite hoodie of his and then wear it around the house so that by the time I came home it was nice and smelling the way I liked it. Then I reasoned with him that it wasn't this weekend because how could it be? Then I realised he was right", you took a spoonful from the tupperware.

"Are you spending the weekend at home?", Marina asked, smiling at how you seemed to finally be taking care of yourself.

You had been one of the doctors who didn't mind staying for longer in the hospital, reasoning that you didn't have kids and fortunately your family members didn't need assistance so you could cover more shifts and work as much to keep everything running smoothly. It caught up with you as it did with all your colleagues so you set specific times in your calendar where you would go home and, barring any catastrophic situation at the hospital, no one would call you for the days you spent home so you could fully relax with Charles.

"Yes, five days at home and then I'm back", you sighed, "and you? How is your little one doing?", you asked.

"My wife texted me an hour into my shift to say that Milo had a Skype call with his class and their teacher and he said his mama was in the hospital being a hero", she gave you a big smile and looked up to control the tears, "it's hard being away from them, but these little moments help", she added.

"Charles does streams with his friends, and apparently he's always mentioning me and the people on the chat have been very supportive - whenever he calls me he tells me that some fans recognise my voice and my name from the virtual appointments and that they've been here and treated by me, too", you blushed, "He's always hyping me up and I can't wait to be with him".

Stopping by the coffee machine, you both got another expresso shot before parting ways since Marina wasn't on the Covid ward for that shift.

"We've just intubated three more patients", the doctor finished her rounding up to you and the rest of the team that would take over for them, "beds five and six aren't looking good and we've alerted their family members already", he nudged.

Everyone knew what it meant when it came to calling the families, so you nodded, "hopefully they'll get here on time, have them page me downstairs when they arrive, please", you asked one of the interns before you excused yourself to put your personal protective equipment on.

"Is that you, Y/N?", one of the younger kids you had treated said as you got out of the room.

"Yes, it's me! You have a good eye, Arlo!", you smiled before noticing nurse Francesca pulling his wheelchair, "are you going home, sweet boy?", you gasped.

Arlo had been the first child you treated in the ward, only having seen adults up until that moment and it changed a switch in you. A small child struggling so much seemed to shake something inside you, and every time you called his parents with updates, you wished that you'd never have to make the dreaded call.

"I am, my lungs are all good and I'm not warm anymore!", he smiled, "I finally get to go home, my parents are downstairs waiting for me. Did you give Charles my thank you hug for the cap?", he asked.

When you noticed the little boy talking about the last Monaco GP and how he hoped one day he would be able to meet his favourite driver, Charles Leclerc, you couldn't find it in you to keep your relationship undisclosed. So, when you went home the last time, you asked Charles to sign one cap for you and told him to be ready for a FaceTime with the little boy. Arlo was the happiest you had seen him since he had been admitted, lighting up when he saw your boyfriend on the screen and giving him a few smiles despite his tired and sick state.

"I haven't been home yet, but I will give him the biggest hug at the end of the week!", you smiled, "I'm so happy for you, Arlo!", you gushed, making the gesture to blow him as kiss as he waved goodbye.

There were good stories, and even though they in no way erased the sad ones, they helped you carry on with the fight.

Laying on the on-call room after your shift, you took off your mask since no one else was allowed inside it other than you, doing your usual routine and setting your phone in the window sill.

"Hey, amour", Charles said on the phone, "how was your day?", he asked as he watched you towell dry your hair.

"Hey, mon coeur", you offered him a small smile, "I'm so tired I can't guarantee I won't fall asleep in a minute".

"It's okay, I won't mind. Did you get tested?", Charles asked as he seemed to be tucking himself to bed as well.

"Yes, another swab up my nose", you flashed him two thumbs up, "I'll have the results in the morning and hopefully I can get out of here for a few days and spend them with you and not quarantine in a hotel room", you crossed your fingers, "I don't have any symptoms, but still, you never know with this bastard".

"We'll spend it together, amour", he comforted, "I already have a lazy couple of days planned out for us", he smiled as you too tucked yourself on the oncall room bed.

"That sounds amazing", you closed your eyes briefly, "I can't wait to be with you", you yawned.

Charles knew better than to start anything important, just happy to see you were resting, safe and sound, making small talk to lull you to sleep before he ended the call.

After attending the virtual meeting so you could update the next team on how the service was running before you left, the results from test came back negative, which meant you could finally drive home.

Unlocking the door, you stepped inside as you heard commotion coming from the living room, "stay away while I put all of this in the cabinet", you warned Charles.

He was quick to go to the bedroom, getting his hoodie and a pair of shorts for you, "as much as I'd love to hold you all day looking like that", your boyfriend nodded to your figure in just underwear, "I think you'll be more cosy in these", he approached you as you finally let him touch you, his arms going around your waist and pulling your bodies closer, "I've missed you so much, Y/N", he whispered.

"I missed you so much, too", you pulled your face away from his chest before kissing his lips in a proper greeting.

Charles guided you to the living room after you got dressed in his clothes, stopping by the kitchen door to check if you had a proper breakfast to which you said yes, so he took you to the sofa, snuggling you two under the blanket as he put one of your favourite shows on the TV.

"I love you, Charles", you would say every now and again, completing the affectionate moments with a kiss or a squeeze.

During the afternoon, you and Charles ended up napping on the sofa, Charles waking up with you still fast asleep on his chest, making him kiss your forehead a couple of times and pull the blanket to cover you up.

"How long was I out for?", you rubbed your eyes two hours later, looking up to see your boyfriend's smile.

"A couple of hours, it looked like a really good nap", he kissed your nose.

"Yes, it was", you squeezed his body, "I'm really craving some carbonara for dinner, do you think we have what the recipe needs?", you questioned.

"We do - I did the food shop earlier this week and I got all of the supplies", he smiled, brushing your hairs away from your eyes and behind your ears, "do you want to get started on it?".

"Yes - I need to pee first, but I'll meet you in the kitchen", you winked, pecking his lips multiple times before getting up.

As he watched you walk to the bathroom, thoughts came flooding in.

This is what he wanted with you. Cosy intimacy that went beyond what happened in the bedroom. The domesticity that went beyond just spending time together and that shines through in the little moments of intertwined routines, special requests and little talks in the middle of the night about random existential questions.

Stepping into the kitchen, Charles gathered the ingredients, pots and pans before you stepped inside too, hugging his waist and nuzzling your face on his back, "you're so comfy, Charlie", you cooed before he turned around so he could face you, cupping your cheeks and rubbing them.

"And you're so gorgeous, mon coeur", he complimented, making you melt inside as you focused on the pads of his thumbs against your skin.

Slicing the guanciale, you removed the rind and cut the rest into small pieces while Charles grated the pecorino cheese and added the egg yolks to the same bowl, the pasta already cooking with the timer on the side.

Scrambling everything into the pot one last time before adding the pasta water a little bit at a time until it was spot on as you liked, making you serve it up in the plates and head back to the sofa.

"Haven't you had enough of the sofa?", you giggled as Charles let you sit before he placed the tray on your lap, doing the same with his own, "I know I haven't had the energy for much else, but maybe tomorrow we can go hike if you'd like", you suggested.

"I want to spend time with you, wherever you are - you're in the sofa, I'm in the sofa, you're in the kitchen, I'm in the kitchen, if you're in the bathroom, I'm in the bathroom", he stated like it was clear as water.

"Maybe not when I'm in the toilet, though, okay?", you squinted as he laughed at your antics.

Charles tidied up after the both of you, sending you to the ensuite bathroom for a bath he'd join you in as soon as he was done.

"You didn't get in?", Charles slumped his shoulders slightly as he saw you sprawled out on the bed.

"I was partially in a food coma, but also - I didn't want to get in alone and the water was a little too hot so I had to let it cool for a bit", you smiled, letting him pull you up and into the bathroom.

Stepping inside the bathroom, Charles grabbed your hips, "let me love on you a little bit more, mon coeur", he said as he pulled you to him, grabbing the hem of the hoodie you were wearing and taking it off of your torso, kissing the skin on your shoulders.

As he stopped his ministrations on your skin, you took the opportunity to take his t-shirt off while you shimmied your shorts and underwear, caressing his muscles before he also took the rest of his clothes off.

"Feels good", Charles dipped his fingers in the tub, getting in himself so he could help you sit between his legs and lay your back on his chest.

Your boyfriend brought his hands together and formed a shell shape with them, collecting water in them and wetting your shoulder blades, then letting it cascade down your neckline, boobs and tummy before he let his hands wander around to feel your body, hoping it would show you his love and appreciation for you.

After you got out, Charles rubbed your products on your face, giggling when you made little faces before you put on pyjamas, tucking into bed and cuddling his chest.

"You know I've missed you so much, but our bed feels heavenly right now", you chuckled, kissing his naked chest, "I love you, Charles", you mumbled before sleep took over you.

"I love you, beautiful girl, sleep tight", he whispered against your hair, kissing the top of your head before he rubbed your back.

Charles was woken up from your body moving a lot and the clammy feeling of your hand on his chest, looking for your face and noticing the crease on your forehead, "hey, amour", he gently shook you awake, "wake up for me, please, it's okay, you're okay", he urged as you opened your eyes wide as you took in where you were.

"I'm home, I'm home", you mumbled, taking deep breaths like Charles encouraged you to once you sat up, doing them with you a couple of times until you calmed down.

"You are, mon coeur, you are", Charles kissed your forehead when you rested your back against the headboard.

After standing there in silence while Charles played with your fingers on your lap, you were able to speak about it, "I hit five this week", you mumbled, "five people who have died on my watch since this thing started, five family members I've had to call to tell them their loved one didn't make it.

"And it's a small number when you compare it to other countries - so many colleagues are already on their one hundredth, but Monaco is so small", you reasoned, "I haven't had a number this high since I started at the hospital - in my regular service, I never lost five people".

"It's not your fault, amour - a virus is out there and you're working so hard to contain it", Charles pulled you to his chest, rubbing your arm up and down and kissing the side of your head, "the work you're doing with the testing site, making sure to slow the spread and ensuring everyone is as healthy as they can be - you're part of that, Y/N, and even though it doesn't seem like it, you're still winning, you're still beating the universe".

"I couldn't do it without you", you mused and Charles' scoff alerted you, "it's true, Charles! I would never be able to stay at the hospital for so long if you weren't supportive, if you weren't helping my parents and making sure they're doing okay when I can't do it! The way you support me and are there for me - the way your holding me like you always do", you snuggled further into him, "this helps me keep going - you do", you kissed his jaw, seeing his blushed cheeks in the dimly lit bedroom.

"We're a good team then", he accepted the compliment, kissing your temple again, "do you think you can go back to sleep or maybe we could have a chat, watch some TV, have a lazy makeout session", he wiggled his eyebrows.

"That last idea sounds great, I've missed that", you rolled over properly, taking his lips in yours as his hands roamed along your tummy.

#charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc x you #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader

[m4tthewsgf]

Birthday wishes

Matt Sturniolo x fem y/n !bday girl

Warnings: this one's kinda dark so tw for implied sh and suicidal thoughts/tendencies

Author's Note: today marks my 19th year of living and what's better than writing a story based on your feelings and hoping that it will provide you some comfort? 😃 yeah idk just felt the need to do that I guess so there you go, sorry if this is a bit much. Enjoy!!! You matter!!!

---

The day I've been dreading the most for the past 7 years arose. The day that I was brought into this world, a place I always wanted to leave behind. Ever since I was a teenager, I hated my birthday. Sure, when I was younger I did throw parties and got excited about it, but growing up sucks every ounce of innocence and pure joy that's left in one's body, just like a vampire that craves blood. Growing up sucks. The feeling of standing still while the years go by sucks. Everything sucks, but my birthday quadruples that emotion.

I find it ironic how I am supposed to celebrate my existence on a random day in January when I've been yearning to vanish for years. I mean, my age may change every year but I don't, and that scares me. To me, birthdays are like a second New Year's Day where you recap the year that went by only to realise that you did nothing with your life and that you had, in fact, stood still while the whole world was making any sort of progress. The constant feeling of hopelessness and sadness exhausted me. I had waisted so many birthday wishes the past few years for that matter, hoping that they would someday, somehow work and I'd get better, but it was no use. So, I just stopped wishing. Stopped wishing to get better, stopped wishing to be enough for someone, stopped wishing to finally be happy and loved. I stopped because I realised that I was doomed, and what can one do when their destiny has been prescribed to them from the moment they were conceived?

Now, don't get me wrong, I do find parts of life beautiful. Inside this dark, scary cloud that I have found myself drowning in, there certainly are some sun rays that peak through every now and then that remind me that there's beauty in breathing. Beauty in existing. They may not shine as bright for the most part, but when they do, it's always in the right moment when my evil thoughts and emotions take a hold of me. Music, dogs and cats, chocolate, books… Friends. My friends are the most beautiful people in this life. Well, my boyfriend is the most beautiful one out of all, but don't tell Nick and Chris.

Nick, Matt and Chris are basically the people that saved me. I met them when I was at my lowest and they were like a breath of fresh air, like a sip of clean, cold water after wandering around the Sahara desert. Somehow they just showed up in my life and pulled me out of my misery and darkness without even knowing. Sure, I'm still struggling mentally, but they gave me a reason to keep going when I was sure that there weren't any left. I still cannot understand how they did that, but I'm glad they did. Maybe they are superheroes whose superpowers are spreading kindness and hopefulness to the one’s who suffer. Or maybe their hugs are their superpower; when these guys hug you, they wrap their arms so protectively around you that not even your own thoughts can touch you. I don't know what it is, but they are for sure not normal, mortal people.

Even though I love them all equally and they make my days brighter, Matt, my boyfriend, was the one who actually showed me that maybe, just maybe, I am capable of living the life I always dreamed of. I may be 19 now with no dreams and desires, but I once were 7 as well, and little me always wanted to discover what love was and how it felt. She, in fact, wished for it; love. She wanted to be just like the Disney princesses she was so obsessed with, wanting to be wrapped in her lover's arms and find out herself if those butterflies everyone talked about tickled her stomach or not. And Matt did just that. He became her prince who saved her from the monstrosity of a mind her skull ironically protected. He saved her from an ugly, evil version of herself that older her viewed as a monster. It may not was a wicked witch or a fearsome dragon, but it was someone that was still a threat to her.

Matt knows every part of me. Hell, he knows parts of me I haven't even discovered yet. He knows every dent of mine, every scar and wrinkle and mole. He knows how my hands start to shake when someone raises their voice at me and how I pick the dead skin on my bottom lip until it bleeds when I'm stressed. He knows every single ugly thing about me and yet, he sees beauty in it. He sees humanity in the parts that I've baptised as ghastly and abhorrent, the parts I've spent my whole life hating on because they made me, me. At times it didn't feel real. How could someone as pure as him willingly be with a person who always ought to save others while she couldn't save herself? How could have he endured all of me and still choose to stay?

At first I thought it was pity. I assumed he felt sorrow for me and my patheticness, but that worry of mine was shorty discarded when he kissed every scar I had put on my body. He kissed every single one of them, from my thighs to my sides to my arms, caressed them with his fingertips so delicately that I had to question myself if I was some sort of porcelain doll, and whispered sweet little nothings while doing so. He still does that when I'm feeling down or when I'm doubting his love for me. I mean, who wouldn't? My whole life, all I knew was roughness and I was sure that I was incapable of receiving something other than that, but there he was, treating me with so much softness and warmth I didn't think I deserved. Matt was able to heal wounds he never created. His lips, arms and voice were the strings that stitched them together and made them go away. And whenever new ones opened, his kind and reassuring words were the bandages he put over them before stitching them, opting to keep them disinfected so I won't be in any more pain.

Matt was aware that on Christmas and my birthday I needed more care than any other day. He knew how on those two days I just wanted to disappear and my emotions consumed me, so he was extremely loving and comforting. We had multiple conversations about it, about what it was that made me so upset in those days so he could find a way to help me in any way, shape or form. The day I finally opened up to him about it still replays in my head.

Flashback

“Baby?” He asked as he entered the living room and closed the door behind him. I was curled up on a couch with a fuzzy blanket wrapped all over me with tear stained cheeks and red eyes. Once he heard my sniffles, he quickly made his way up to me and sat right next to where my tummy landed.

“What's wrong, beautiful? Did something happen?” He softly spoke as he wiped away a few more tears that escaped from my eyes. I didn't answer, I just shook my head and stared at the movie I was watching. He exhaled sharply and looked over at the TV screen, noticing that I was binge watching my favorite animated film I always put on when I needed some comfort.

“Hey,” he whispered and grabbed my chin to make my eyes fall on his, “you can talk to me, y/n. You're safe with me. Whatever it is, we will go through it together, I promise” he scanned my face.

“I'm sorry” I mumbled as more tears blurred my vision. Matt was quick to grab my face with both of his hands and shushing me. He knew I always apologized when I was feeling down.

“Hush dear, no need to apologize,” he cooed, “I just want to make you feel okay, hm? Let me take care of you, let me cherish you” he pressed his soft lips against my temple, slowly making his way down to my lips.

“I got you something,” he said against my parted lips, hands still on each side of my face. I just looked up at him with frowned eyebrows.

He got up from the couch and made his way to the kitchen counter. In an instant, he was right back in front of me with his arms tucked behind his back, hiding whatever my surprise was. With a loving gaze, he brought his hands right in front of me, revealing a bouquet of white and lavender babybreaths with a few lilies, my favorite flowers, along with a basket that consisted of my favorite snacks and books that I wanted to read. My jaw hung open.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart” Matt breathed with a toothy grin. I just stared at him with a lost expression.

At this point, we had been together for only 3 months and I was pretty sure I hadn't mentioned any of the things he was gifting me. I couldn't recall a moment where I had vocalized my love for those flowers or my desire to read those books. How did he know?

“Matt” my voice broke. I tilted my head at him and sat up as I felt a familiar lump in my throat. With a quivering lip, I broke down, my shaking hands covering my tears.

“Oh baby, c’mere,” he put the things down and quickly pulled me into his chest. His grip on my back was firm yet not hard enough to hurt me, but to reassure me that he was there. He rocked us back and forth as I sobbed into him, placing sweet kisses on the top of my head and whispering comforting words that only made me want to cry even harder.

He was the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me. My blessing and curse. Those ocean blue eyes of his that pierced through my soul and filled me with strength were the same ones that made me cry the most because I loved him. And love doesn't come without pain, or at least that's what I knew.

“Talk to me, y/n” he mumbled against my hair, his body still moving back and forth with me still clinging on the fabric of his shirt for dear life.

“I just-,” I sniffed and pulled out of his cozy embrace and wiped my eyes, “I hate this” I embarrassingly admitted.

“I'm sorry, I thought you'd like it I'll get you-“

“No! No, I didn't mean your gift!” I shook my head. I truly didn't. It was in fact the most thoughtful gift I've ever received. And also the first time I ever got flowers, something I always wanted to be given.

“I mean my birthday. I despise it” I chuckled at how pathetic I sounded. Matt's expression did relax at my confession but confusion was obvious in his face.

“Why?” He breathed. I looked up at him to meet his gaze that was already on me, soft and loving.

“It doesn't matter,” I tried to wash away his concern but it didn't work.

“It matters to me,” he shrugged, “I want to help you, baby. But in order to do that, I need to understand you first and I cannot do that if you don't talk to me” he simply said.

“And I don't want to hurt you,” he continued, “but I will unwillingly do that if you don't tell me what hurts you. It's like stepping on a minefield; how would I know where to safely step if I don't know where the mines are?”

“I don't want you to get scared and walk away” I choked on a sob. Matt tilted his head at me with a sad smile on his lips.

“You will not, I promise. You're too well tangled in my soul for me to just walk away” he chuckled. I felt my cheeks turn red at his words and bit my lips to fight back a smile that was threatening to form in my face. He grabbed my hand and interlocked our fingers, his thumb drawing lazy circles on my flesh, an act of reassurance and encouragement.

I did trust Matt. Hell, I trusted him more than I trusted my own self. I knew I had to talk to him about it. I loved him. He had to know.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, I spoke with a trembling voice that was almost as quiet as a whisper.

“Ever since I was 12 I've hated that day. Before I hit 18, I didn't want to celebrate my existence because I simply didn’t want to exist,” I trailed off with my gaze locked in our touching hands, “I was so sure that I wasn't going to make it till then, but here I am, I guess” I forced a laugh but it soon faded.

“It just doesn't feel real, you know? And I don't mean that in a good way. I feel like a coward,” I breathed while a few more teardrops fell, “it was honestly kind of like a goal of mine, not turning 18, which I obviously failed to accomplish,” I shook my head in disappointment, “my birthday just reminds me of those feelings and it just triggers me, I suppose. And now that I turned 19 and I'm still here... it's just a lot of feelings I can't quite describe. And apart from that, why would I celebrate a life I never wanted?” I tried to joke but I didn't earn a laugh from Matt. Scared of his reaction, I slowly lifted my head to look at him with guilt.

His eyes were watering, his forehead creased and an obvious frown on his lips he didn't even try to hide from me. He just stood there in silence for a minute or two, eyeing every feature that my face had to offer, before enveloping his shaking hands around me once more. This time, however, his grip was harsh and his whole body was trembling. He held me so tightly that I could barely breath, his grasp against my skin so tense I was sure it would leave marks. This time, it wasn't me he was trying to comfort, but himself. Knowing that his pure and genuine heart couldn't take that much hurt, I placed my own arms around him securely.

“It's okay, baby” I repeated over and over again as my fingers played with his dark hair. His face nuzzled in the crook of my neck where I felt wetness in. I hated seeing him like this, but I understood that it was a lot to take in. His reaction was more than understandable.

“I'm so sorry, y/n” he pulled away with wet cheeks.

“It's not your fault, you don't have to apologize.”

“Yeah but,” he choked, “it isn't fair! You were a child, you shouldn't be feeling this way!” he reasoned.

“I know, but I managed, didn't I? I'm still here,” I wiped away his tears with my thumbs. He just looked at me and nodded. His gaze mirrored his troubled thoughts. I could tell it hurt him; hearing the person you love the most admitting such things isn't an easy thing.

“I just…,” he trailed off, “I just want you to know that I'm glad you're still here. You may not believe what I'm about to say, but you do make a difference in this world. You make a difference in my world. The fact that there's probably a version of myself out there that doesn't have you in his life makes me feel sorry for him, because you truly are a gift, baby” Matt spoke.

“I promise you, I'll make it feel better. I'll find a way to make the pain go away, I swear,” he cupped my face and brought it so close to his I felt his hot breath on my skin. Not giving me a chance to speak, he pulled me against him. I let out a sigh before allowing myself to relax under his touch and comfort.

“You're so strong” he murmured against my hair. I laughed.

“I'm not strong, Matt, I am weak. If I were strong, I wouldn't be here today” I blandly told him and I felt him shake his head violently, obviously disagreeing with my statement.

“D-Don't. Don't say that. Please, don't say that. You are strong. Despite everything, you're here. You may not have chosen to stay, but you did. You're strong for not caving in and letting your mind control you, you're strong for handling all of these big and dark emotions ever since you were a child, you're strong for telling me. You may not see it, but there is so much strength in you, y/n, that inspires others. I know you don't get what I'm saying, but I also know how draining it is to feel like this. If anything, you're strong,” he argued and pulled away from the embrace to look me in my eyes. Maybe he was right. Maybe I didn't give myself enough credit for it.

“I'll get you help. I'll find a therapist for you, the best one there is. I’ll pay for your sessions and everything you need. And I'll find ways to help you myself, I'll do my research, read books…I'll do anything for you, angel. I just want to make sure that you're safe. And if there's anything that I do that makes you feel unloved by me or hurts you in any way, please tell me. The last thing I want you to do is question my love for you” he said with puppy dog eyes.

Matt was a sincere and emotional man, two traits that made me fall in love with him instantly. His sympathy was something I've never came across with before meeting him. He was truly an angel sent from heaven.

“Thank you” I smiled sadly at him.

“I am here for you, baby. I will always be. No matter what happens, you'll always have me, I promise. I love you,” he breathed and kissed me with so much passion that made my head spin.

End of flashback

That was the day we muttered that phrase to one another. To some it may seem too soon, but I don't care. I needed to hear it and I needed to hear it from him. And I also felt the need to say it back because I did love him. Probably the most I've ever loved anything and anyone in this world. That was also the day I showed him my scars. Before that, I refused to get naked in front him even to just change my clothes, because I was scared of how he was going to react. Even though I wanted to have sex with him and show him how much I craved him and his body, my fear always consumed me. He didn't put any pressure on me though, he was very respectful of my boundaries and he made sure that I knew he wasn't upset or angry at me for not wanting to do anything sexual with him.

“You could tell me to never touch you again and I'd still feel the same way about you,” Matt used to tell me, and still does, whenever I apologize for not being in the mood to sleep with him. How could I not fall for this boy?

So here we are, a year later in our shared bedroom in his and his brothers' apartment taking in each other’s presence. Our legs intertwined, my face buried deep into his chest and his arms wrapped around my waist. Matt was a peaceful sleeper and in my opinion, he looked the most beautiful when he was asleep. He looked so comfortable and relaxed, his cheek squeezing against the soft pillow that supported his head and mouth slightly agape. Even in his sleep, though, he made sure to keep me close to him. He was always hugging me or touching my hand which I dearly appreciated. Whenever I woke up before him, I just stayed there and admired him until his eyes opened, and that's what I'm doing right now.

Lifting my head up, I look at his dreamy face. I smile fondly at the sight in front of me and I can't help myself but place soft, loving kisses on his features, neck and collarbones. I hear him shift under me, his body slowly stretching, which indicated his awakening. I look back up at him again and see him sheepishly smile down at me, a smile that never fails to make my heart jump and flutter.

“Sorry, didn't mean to wake you up” I apologise softly.

“Mhm” he hums and brings me back against his body. I giggle at his clinginess but allowed myself to turn into a paddle under his touch and loving embrace. He rubs my back and caresses my hair before he places tender kisses on my forehead and lips.

“Happy birthday, my love” he wishes me in between pecks, making me smile against his pinkish, plump lips. I kiss him back passionately.

“How are you feeling?” Matt whispers as he pulls away, resting his face just a few inches away from mine. I smile at him. A genuine, gentle smile.

“I'm good” I whisper back.

“Yeah?” his lips take an upturn curve.

“Yeah,” I breathed before kissing him again. I hover on top of him with my body still laying beside him though, and his hands reach to take a hold of the sides of my face. We both smile into the kiss which ends up being interrupted by the door bursting open, making me jump.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” Nick and Chris exclaim at the same time. They're even wearing birthday hats. These kids. I look down at Matt whose face was filled with pure shock. I laugh.

“Thank you, boys” I shoot them a toothy smile.

“Oh wait, I forgot the cake!” Chris says before running back to the kitchen. I look at Nick who stared at his younger brother in disbelief.

“I'm so sorry, I told them not to do-“

“Baby, it's okay,” I whispered, “I'm okay.”

“I'm so proud of you,” Matt says softly before sitting up and placing a kiss on flustered my cheek.

“Here! Make a wish!” Chris says as he came back with the cake which, in reality, was just a few pancakes with a lit up candle on top.

All those years, I thought that birthday wishes weren't a thing until I got blessed with those 3 boys. I don’t know what or who brought them to me, if it was God’s or any other celestial’s work, but I thanked them every night for allowing me to have such people around me. I was so grateful for them and for once in a while, I was grateful to be alive.

I was grateful for not giving up when I felt like it was the only way out. I was grateful for not losing the battle because if I had, I wouldn't have met them and I wouldn't know what love and happiness felt like. I couldn't be able to give little me the love she deserved. She wouldn't have met Matt, she wouldn't have felt the butterflies every time he landed his eyes on her which indeed did tickle her stomach, she wouldn't have known how unconditional love felt like. The thought of that made me uneasy. I couldn't take that away from her and I was more than happy I didn't.

I look around me and cherish this moment. Yes, there is still a lot of healing I need to do still, but I'm getting there. With the help of my friends, I will get there. Their smiling faces give me strength everyday to keep going. And so before blowing out the candle, I make a wish. I wish for all the people who feel just like I once did to get better. I wish for their pain to vanish and be replaced with happiness and peace. I wish for them to realize that their existence matters more than they think. And most importantly, I wish for them to not lose the battle because yes, life may be tough, but they're tougher. Because they are needed and beautiful and unique. Because they deserve a happy ending. Because they do make this world a better place just by being in it.

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[ginnsbaker]

In Losing Grip On Sinking Ships - Epilogue

Summary: A glimpse into the rest of your life with Wanda Maximoff.

Word count: 2.3k+ | Warnings: None; Just Fluff | Ship: Wanda x Reader

Author's note: We officially come to a close! I'd like to take this opportunity to thank each and everyone of you who read, liked, commented, and reblogged this story. This is my first time completing a multi-chapter fic and I couldn't have done it without you. You guys will always have a special place in my heart. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I'll keep writing--my request box is open :)

Series Masterlist

-

Epilogue

Ten Months Later

Montauk, especially in winter, looks as if it's straight out of a postcard. 

For as long as you can remember, Montauk is the only place that's felt like home. And you've shared it with the woman who's known you even before you took your first breath in this world. But now, there are days when she doesn't recognize you, days when she cries out in fear thinking you're an intruder, when she tearfully calls for her own mother or searches anxiously for her late husband.

The merciless grip of Alzheimer's is steadily robbing her from you, and time seems to draw out the process in a cruel, agonizing manner.

Wanda is there for you though, through every difficult moment. She is your rock when you feel like crumbling, your light in the darkest moments. You are both staying in Montauk for some time now, taking care of your mother. Your mother sometimes recognizes her, and she’s remarkably warmer to your ex-wife more than you can remember. You think, perhaps, it has something to do with her memories that are slowly wilting away, and all that is left is the love she’s always held back for the other woman in your life.

One evening, as snowflakes start to gently fall from the sky, Wanda gets the sudden urge to take a walk. After some persuasion, you find yourself pulled out from the inviting warmth of the bed you've been sharing, grumbling while putting your layers of clothing back on to indulge Wanda in her whimsical idea.

Hand-in-hand, you set off just as the sun begins its descent, painting the horizon with streaks of indigo and pink. Snowflakes settle on Wanda's hair, turning her fiery locks into a winter wonderland. She smiles, her green eyes sparkling with the reflection of the dimming twilight. 

You soak in the sight of her, the love of your life, aglow in the beauty of the snowy evening, committing it to memory. 

An old park lies ahead, its swings and benches blanketed by the fresh snowfall. Wanda leads you to the swing set, her laughter carrying through the chilly air as she plops down on one of them. You take the swing beside her, the frosty metal biting through your clothing, but you don’t mind. The sight of Wanda, her face flushed with cold yet bright with joy, is worth braving the winter chill.

As the swing set gently comes to a halt, Wanda nudges you, pointing towards a row of trees in the distance. “Look over there,” she says, “Do you see that?”

You squint at the snow-laden branches, trying to decipher what she's referring to. While you're absorbed in your futile search, Wanda quietly slips off the swing, her heart pounding in her chest. She swallows hard, taking a deep breath to steady her nerves. As you turn back to her with a puzzled look, ready to ask what you were supposed to see, you find her on her knees in the fresh snow, looking up at you with an earnest gaze.

She reaches into her pocket, pulling out a small, velvet box. With a quick flick of her wrist, she pops it open to reveal a simple yet stunning ring nestled within. 

“Will you marry me?”

Your heart stutters at the sight of Wanda's hopeful gaze. For a moment, everything seems to stand still. Snowflakes suspend their descent, the air holds its breath. With a lump in your throat, you utter a word you never thought you'd say in this moment. 

“No.”

Shock registers on Wanda's face, her eyes wide and vulnerable. The world seems to crash around her, the word echoing ominously in her ears. But then, before she has a chance to fully comprehend what's happening, you're sinking to your knees in the snow beside her.

“Because,” you begin, laughter choking your words even as tears track down your cheeks. You fumble in your pocket, pulling out your own small box. You pry it open, revealing a gleaming ring nestled within. “Because I want you to marry me.”

The world, previously paused, starts up again in a rush of sound and color.

Laughter bubbles up from within you, filling the silence, mingling with the tears streaming down your face. Wanda stares at you, stunned into silence, her tears mirroring your own.

“Yes,” she breathes out finally, her voice choked with emotion. “Yes, yes, yes.”

In the stillness that follows, you gently take her hand, slipping the ring onto her trembling finger. 

You look up at her, your heart in your eyes. “Yes, Wanda, I'll marry you,” you whisper.

Wanda's fingers are ice-cold, trembling with adrenaline, when she reaches for your hand, your ring. Her focus is so intense as she slips it onto your finger that it feels as if everything else has fallen away.

Without wasting a moment, Wanda lurches forward, lips finding yours in a kiss, full of passion and relief. The chill of the snow around you seems to dissipate as your mouths move in a rhythm perfected by time and familiarity. Every small shift, every pressure, the way she tugs at your lower lip, the way you reciprocate by pulling her closer by the waist, it all stokes a warmth that radiates from your core, spreading outwards, rendering the winter air irrelevant.

The soft moan that escapes Wanda against your lips fills you with a satisfaction, an overwhelming sense of rightness that even the best of days prior to this moment had not quite achieved.

Like all beautiful things, the kiss comes to an end. She pulls away, her breath ghosting over your lips as she whispers, “Yes,” echoing your sentiment. “Yes, you will.”

Year 2

A year later, the smell of antiseptic and the sterile white walls of a hospital room are your surroundings. You lay exhausted on the hospital bed, swaddled in a light hospital gown, holding the newest addition to your family. 

A baby girl. 

Yours and Wanda’s. 

She is swathed in soft pink blankets, her tiny face peering curiously at the world she's just entered.

Overwhelmed, overjoyed, and slightly terrified, Wanda is darting around the room, fretting over everything and anything. Her brows are furrowed as she questions the nurses on the baby’s feeding, changing, swaddling. She's always been meticulous, but her anxiety seems to be on a whole new level today.

Meanwhile, she's constantly checking up on you too. A wet cloth to dab your sweaty forehead, a soft kiss to reassure you, a gentle squeeze of your hand. Each time she asks if you're okay, if you need anything, if you're feeling too tired or too overwhelmed.

Her voice is a touch higher than usual, her movements slightly rushed. It's all too adorable, you think. The endearing sight of Wanda fussing over you and the baby brings a soft smile to your tired face.

Wanda’s gaze alternates between you and the tiny bundle in your arms, as if she’s afraid that this is all some dream that she would wake from.

“You're doing great, love,” you reassure her in a voice hoarse with exhaustion, but filled with so much love and admiration for this woman. Your woman. You wouldn’t trade her frantic behavior for anything else.

“Do you want to hold her?” you ask Wanda, lifting the baby slightly from your chest.

Wanda freezes at your question, her eyes flickering from the tiny face peeking out from the swaddles and back to you. She seems to be calculating the risk of her holding something so precious and delicate. She bites her lip nervously, her hand absently wringing together.

“I'm... I'm afraid I might hurt her. She's so small,” Wanda murmurs, almost too softly to hear.

A soft laugh bubbles up from you, finding her concern endearing. With your free hand, you tenderly take hers, squeezing reassuringly.

“Wands, love, she's our daughter. She already knows you and she wants her mom. Come on,” you encourage her, your voice soft but confident.

With a deep breath, Wanda nods. She gingerly slips onto the bed beside you, her arm tentatively reaching out. Her hand hovers over the baby's tiny form, her fingers trembling slightly.

Seeing her hesitate, you gently place the baby into Wanda's waiting arms. The moment your daughter is cradled in her arms, Wanda's eyes fill with unshed tears. Her gaze is locked on the little face looking up at her.

She's silent for a moment, just looking down at the tiny, squirming bundle in her arms. You watch as she traces her finger lightly over your daughter's chubby cheek, her touch feather-light as though she's handling a priceless piece of art.

“She's... She's beautiful,” Wanda finally whispers, her voice choked with emotion. You watch as a single tear escapes, trailing down her cheek.

“She has your eyes,” you say softly, leaning against Wanda's shoulder.

Her response is a watery laugh, and she turns to press a kiss on your forehead. “And your nose,” she retorts, a teasing lilt to her voice. “I didn’t know it was possible to be even more in love with you,” she adds, looking into your heavy-lidded eyes.

As you look at Wanda holding your daughter, overwhelmed with love and emotion, you think that there can't be anything equally perfect as this moment. 

Year 4

Something equally as perfect comes two years later.

You and Wanda return to your new apartment in Manhattan, this time with a little more noise, a lot more love, and two new family members in tow. 

The eighteen arduous hours of Wanda's labor are still fresh in your mind. The anxiety and fear you felt, the helplessness, as you watched her endure the pain, fighting for every breath, are experiences you would never forget. For a moment, you feared for her life, but Wanda, as always, proved to be a force of nature. She battled through, delivering the twins normally. Your two-year-old daughter has just been promoted to big sister status, with the arrival of her twin brothers, William and Thomas.

Wanda, holding Billy, looks at you over the top of his little head. Her eyes are bright, tired but excited. You carry Tommy, his tiny hand gripping your finger, and his weight in your arms feels like the most natural thing in the world.

Despite being outnumbered by your kids, you and Wanda are no novices now. With one child already, you've learned the ropes of parenthood, even if juggling the needs of three young children is still quite the adventure. 

Looking back, you can't help but wonder. If things had been smoother, easier, would you still end up here? 

Sure, life has thrown you a few curveballs. But those curveballs brought you to this moment, to this feeling of complete and utter happiness. 

You wouldn't change a thing.

Because this is it. This is your perfect. This is the beautiful chaos of a big family you and Wanda have created together. And you wouldn't trade it for the world. 

This moment is everything you ever wanted.

Year 35

You both retire to a charming little town on the east coast, away from the relentless hum of city life. The house is a modest one, its size perfect for two people entering the golden years of their life.

It's a quiet evening when you find yourself sitting in the bathtub, the warm water soothing against your aging muscles. The bathroom door creaks open and in walks Wanda, unadorned and as beautiful as the day you met her. You watch as she undresses, each wrinkle and mark a testament to the years you've spent together. The sight of her, the raw display of strength, beauty, and age, leaves you breathless.

She eases herself into the tub, the water rising as she settles across from you. Your legs brush against each other, a touch that still sends warmth spreading through your veins. Her eyes, the same captivating pair you lost yourself in more than four decades ago, meet yours and your heart does a familiar dance.

Wanda raises an eyebrow, the corner of her mouth quirking up in a teasing smile. “You have that look again.”

“What look?” you feign innocence, though a mischievous glint gives you away.

“That look as if you're seeing a young woman, and not the one who's been trying to get a senior discount for the past few years,” she quips.

You chuckle, leaning closer, the water ripples between you two as you do. “Honestly, after all this time,” you whisper, fingers tracing the back of her hand submerged in the water, “I can't help myself.”

She playfully rolls her eyes, her cheeks tinted with a hint of a blush that reminds you of her younger self. “Ever the charmer,” she murmurs, her voice betraying the flutter of excitement she still feels from your compliments, even after all these years.

“You may have a few more lines here and there,” you whisper, your eyes taking in every beautiful detail of her face, “But to me, you're as breathtaking as the day we met. Time can't change the way I see you, Wanda.”

With deliberate slowness, you lean in, pressing a delicate kiss to her lips. As you pull back, you see the warmth in her eyes, the soft smile playing on her lips, and you feel an old, familiar urge.

Your next kiss is deeper, more insistent, and your hand finds its way to her waist, pressing her closer. Her laughter bubbles up, breaking the kiss momentarily as she playfully swats your wandering hand away.

“You really still find this,” she gestures to herself, “Desirable?”

You lean back slightly, taking in her form with a deliberate, exaggerated slowness, your gaze wandering from her face to her feet and back up again. “Every inch.”

She gives you a mock exasperated look, but the smile that's trying to break through belies her true feelings. “You and your words,” she mutters, pulling you closer by the nape of your neck, her fingers tangling in your damp hair. “Do they ever run out?”

“Not when it comes to you,” you reply earnestly, your lips hovering just above hers. “Never when it comes to you.”

Making love isn't as easy as it once was, with bodies grown old and not as supple. 

But your love for Wanda—if anything, is stuck in time.

Taglist: @canvascoloredin | @justgotlizzied , @casquinhaa | @marvelwomen-simp | @sunsol-22 | @wandanatlov3r | @kyaraderuwez | @justyourwritter69 | @stanolsevans | @aliherreraaa | @diaryoflife| @justagurlwholikes | @lizziesplant | @cowxpoke | @sokovianbaby| @swiftie1-0-1 | @scarlettbitchx | @tercerspirit-22 | @hyper-fixated-delusions

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x you #wanda x you #wanda maximoff #ifiss 2 #ilgoss #unbetad #my writing #my fic #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen #wanda maximoff fanfiction

[honeyhotteoks]

hi everyone ♡ a little about where i've been and why i'm not posting....

so... it's no secret that i fell off the face of the earth when it comes to writing, and for that i just want to apologize. i know a lot of you have been waiting for the next chapter of tnt, further aurora updates, or just looking forward to some smutty kinktober one-shots...... but to be completely honest i haven't written in a little while.

i've been trying to but i keep coming up short, and i've been avoiding this blog ever since because i just feel bad for not being able to give you guys the stories you're waiting for. for that reason, i essentially took a creative break and decided not to respond to any messages about writing. i know that kind of sucks, but i know myself and i didn't want to promise "soon" when i knew that wasn't true.

i'm starting slowly to work on things again, and i really hope i'll be able to share some of that work with you soon, but genuinely i just needed space from working on fic and to be honest..... from the fandom. i love being an atiny, but there was a swell of negativity on twitter for a while and i've been feeling a little uninspired with the past year of content and endless touring and it all combined into me putting things off.

i'm also................................ much more of a multi now.... which i really never thought would happen but here we are. i have no idea if i'll actually start writing for any of those groups, but if i do, i hope some of you also enjoy those groups and you stick with me. a little blurb about my new biases and the groups i'm now following, etc. is at the bottom of this post.

as far as what's going on with my ateez work? here's a quick recap:

this night together: still in progress, i have ~4 chapters finished, but chap ten and some of the time skips have me a little stuck. once i iron that out and finish out the last 2-3 chapters after the arc that's written, i'll get back to posting. at this point i'd like to have it done so i can release it confidently and as a complete story. into the aurora: i have about half of book one edited, which will include some new scenes / cleaned up scenes, but nothing crazy. i'd like to start updating old chapters once everything is finalized. book two is.... slow going. i'm hoping a breath of fresh air will help, but it's still my goal to come back to these characters. one-shots: i have about 4-5 ateez one-shots that are half written. my plan is to finish these and release them as inspiration strikes to wrap them up.

thank you all for your patience, and all of your kind messages. so many people have checked in on me both anon and not, and even if i haven't responded it's meant so much as i work on coming back to writing. i may not be able to respond to all the messages since so many of them are in my inbox, but slowly i may chip away at them

i'll see you all very soon~

(so chai multi era.... in a whirlwind of discovering other kpop groups..... i've ended up a carat, a stay, a moa, and a hidden kard. again, no idea if i'll ever write for any of these groups, but.... my biases are below so who knows)

seventeen - s.coups (regularly wrecked by hip hop line + dino) stray kids - lee know + hyunjin txt - soobin (are we surprised tho) kard - bm + jiwoo (but also like basically ot4 let's be real here)

♡

#honeyhotteoks updates #i love you all i hope i can get my ish together soon #also if you see me start to reblog non ateez fic recs...... #we're in the chai multi era #surprise???????

[iiotic]

You have my heart | chapter 2

Human! Alastor x Fem! Reader

❥︎ You have my heart | Navigation

Prologue | chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3..

❥︎ word count - 1.1k

please read the tws before reading this story!! You may find them in the navigation.

You looked up at the man before you. A charming gentleman with brown hair and caramel eyes. Putting your purse down, you decided to respond to his ridiculous question.

- Leaving, and who might you be? - You questioned him as you stood up, only to realise that he was much more taller than you.

- Alastor, pleasure to be meeting you miss..? - He extended his hand for, you thought, a handshake. As you gave him your hand, you were surprised by him kissing your knuckles.

- Charmed - You said, before introducing yourself. You truly didn't want to engage in any small talks nor conversation. You were so tired of this day after your "future husband" didn't even show up. You just wanted to go to bed and take a nap after a hard day.

You tried to excuse yourself from the situation, saying that your cat is home alone, begging for some affection.

- Nonsense, my dear! I assure you cats are very smart creatures and they can take care of themself. - Alastor assured you. Pointing to the table he added. - Would you like to sit down for a nice talk? the dinner is my treat.

You looked out of the window at the chauffeur waiting for you for hours by now, considering his offer. You didn't want to come back home, nor did you want to explain to your arrogant mother that the man didn't show up. However you were so tired and didn't want to stay awake any more minutes. But how are you suppose to find your true love if you didn't talk to anyone?

You sat down at the table, as Alastor did the same beside you. What were his intentions? You didn't know. You couldn't help but to glare at him, yet he still looked so comfortable and calm in his seat.

As he asked you what would you like, you answered harshly unintentionally. The atmosphere seemed tense, as the restaurant was filled with mostly silence. Most of the people already left, leaving you witt just a few people left waiting, not including staff.

You tried so hard to interact with the man before you, but the little voice in your head told you not to, for some strange reasons. Looking out of the window, once again, seeing countless cars and people walking. Pheraps some just went for a walk and others just came back from work? Maybe some of them just got groceries, maybe some of them are going to a important event. Your thoughts were interrupted with a sudden cough.

- Sorry, what were you saying? - You asked hurriedly, seemingly embarrassed by the whole situation. You hadn't had a normal interaction in a while.

- I'd like to apologize for being so pushy earlier, however i wish to get to know you. - He said with his signature smile. Before you could respond your food was delivered by the same young woman. 'Bon appetite' she said before running away.

- If you don't mind me asking, where do you work at? As far as I know the clothes that you're wearing aren't exactly cheap. - He asked, looking up from his now fresh food. - Before you ask "why? ". I'm asking out of curiosity.

You didn't know what to say, you were so embarrassed. You decided to try to dodge his question.

- I accept your apologies for being so "pushy" as you said. And also i don't mind you asking any questions, that's how conversations work, don't they? - You jokingly-asked trying to lighten the mood and make him forget about his question.

Alastor didn't respond, waiting for you to say something, his eyes saying everything. He relaxed a bit after hearing you sigh and finally answer his question.

- If you really must know, I don't work anywhere. - You mumbled quickly, as another sigh of relief could be heard from you. You were so reliefed that you already said it.

- I'm sorry, dear? I didn't quite catch that.

Shit. You truly didn't want him to know that you were unemployed. What would he think of you? When you said it the first time you didn't think correctly. What were you doing? You didn't know but before you acknowledged what you were doing it already slipped.

- I am an medical secretary. - You lied but didn't know what the fuck is a medical secretary. - It's a truly exhausting job if you'd ask me. Where do you work at? - You asked nervously before he could any more question about the job.

- Well, dear i thought you figured out who I am? - he chuckled slightly but when he say the look of confusion on your face he got a bit confused himself. - I am the radio host.

- I'm sorry the Radio host? - You questioned him being confused by his big ego. Frustrated, even.

- I'm sorry, so bold of me. - He fixed his composure. - I'm a radio host, just a radio host.

He was so reliefed that you didn't hear about him. So reliefed that you're not a psycho fan of his.

You thought it was an pretty easy yet exciting job. Sharing your thoughts about his job to him you were interrupted by someone walking in. Your chauffeur. You knew that you weren't the only one tired of waiting. You had to think of an plan quickly. You didn't think that medical secretary makes that much money. But it was too late he was already standing beside your table.

- Ma'am your mother told me that we need to get going now. - Your chauffeur said. Cursing under your breath, you decided to improvise. Just as you were about to say that you didn't know who he was. Alastor interrupted.

- Dear, you didn't say that you had a husband. - But you didnt? You looked at him like a deer at the headline, before fully understanding what he said. Now you had a plan. You stood up from your seat, excusing yourself, standing next to your chauffeur.

- I don't, yet. This is my boyfriend..uh.. - You looked at the chauffeur, trying to remember his name but failing miserably. - yes.

You saw the look of confusion in your chauffeurs eye, not wanting to look at him, you nooded at him to play along. Unfortunately for you, he didn't understand.

- I'm not sure you heard me correctly. Your dad ask- The chauffeur was interrupted by Alastor this time.

- I didn't know you had a boyfriend. - Alastor said glaring at the poor chauffeur.

- Because I don't! - You said after you realized that it was a terrible idea. Your hands sweaty from the whole situation. - This is my dad!

- Your dad? - They both asked confused at the same time. You were in a truly terrible situation. You didn't know what to say so you just nodded and tried to see what will happen next.

However despise your best effort to stay, you stormed out of stress, feeling the tears in your eyes. Gosh, why did you have to be so embarrassing?

Sitting in the car, you tried your best to not burst into tears. Your chauffeur soon following you and driving you home. It was too much for you. You just wanted to be normal, to have a healthy marriage, to love.

Is it that hard?

TAGLIST

@cherry-cola-100 @alastorssimp @cyganep @mutifandomkid @happytacojudgepalace @spirit-of-the-hollow @phisen

#hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor #alastor the radio demon #hazbin hotel alastor #human alastor #human alastor x reader

[annawritesblog]

Matchmaker (m.s.)

Summary: Angie loves walks but also books apparently. Her playfulness results in a matchmaking.

A/N: hey lovelies. Sorry for the long wait, but here’s my second imagine, this time with Mick. It’s missing Mick hours here, so I thought this would be cute. Also, English is not my first language and I do NOT speak German, all the bold texts were translated with google translate, so excuse me if something’s not correct. Enjoy🤍

Today is an exceptionally beautiful day in Switzerland. After days of rain, the beauty of fall is finally showing. The park is covered with leaves and families are spending quality time with each other.

Turning a page in my new book, I inhale the fresh smell of my cappuccino that I couldn't manage to drink in an hour. I'm just so caught up in this book, that I cannot concentrate on anything else. Earlier today, I decided to walk to the nearest park, find a bench and get lost in my book. And that's exactly what I did.

I put my book down and look at my surroundings: happy couples, dogs, trees, babies and older people. Everybody’s chatting and enjoying the last bit of sunshine. The picture is so calming, I could sit here and observe things all day. I wonder if there’s a job like- what the hell?

"Angie, was tast du?" I look down, where I find a dog playing with...my book? When has that fallen out of my lap? I must've been lost in my thoughts again. I should really focus more on what’s happening around me.

"Das tut mir leid." A tall, blonde guy approaches me and takes my book out of what I suppose his dog's mouth. Only if I'd understand what he's saying.

"I'm sorry, I don't speak german." I pause the guy who was still talking to me I guess.

"I-I was just apologising. I'm so sorry, she usually doesn't do things like that. I guess she got excited?" He hands me over my book that's a bit wet, but it salvageable. "I- let me buy you a new one, this one's a bit...damaged."

"No, no. You really don't have to do that. It's completely fine, I actually like it better this way. It's unique." I smile to the very attractive blonde in front of me.

He runs a hand through his short hair and looks to his left, where his dog is, looking all innocent and cute. "Can't be mad at such an angel, right?" He asks while putting the leash on the puppy.

"No, you really can't." I giggle and scratch behind the dog's ear. "What's her name?"

"Angie." He looks at the animal then flashes his blue eyes on me. "And yours? What is your name?"

"Y/n” I answer shyly. "Yours?"

"I'm Mick, nice to meet you." He shakes my hand and instead of feeling uncomfortable, I actually feel chills running up my spine. "Mind if I sit?"

“Not at all.” He sits pretty close to me and the smell of cologne hits me. I take a second to examine Mick: his short blond hair is somewhat messy, but it actually suits him. He has an Under Armour jogging set on, which shows off his massive arms. Before I know it, I’m blushing at the sight of that.

"You have a really pretty accent, Y/n. I like it a lot." Mick looks into my eyes and smiles widely.

"Thank you." Just as he wants to say something,his dog jumps on the bench, just between us. I pet the fluffy animal and coo at her just like a baby. I can feel Mick’s eyes on me, his stare burning holes in my body. God he’s attractive.

“So hey, I really do feel bad about the book. It’s not acceptable.” He says and fumbles with one of his many bracelets.

“It’s totally fine. Now it has a story.” I smile at the blue eyed boy but he just doesn’t let this matter to rest.

“Still, I would like to rebuy that. Or any book really.” Now he seems eager almost. Although, not gonna lie, a book shopping date doesn’t sound half bad.

“Okay, alright. You can buy me a new book.” He smiles at this and nods. The dog between us starts barking so Mick takes her by the leash and stands up.

“I think someone’s hungry.” He pets Angie’s head and the cutie starts to shake her tail. “I think we need to get going, but can I have your number? You know for the book?” He asks and I feel my face turning red.

“Yeah, sure.” I try to act naturally as he hands me his phone and I type in my number. I save the number alongside with my name and hand him back the device.

“Thank you. So, I guess I’ll see you later?” He scratches the back of his neck and I nod. He will see me again for sure. “Well then, have a nice day Y/n.”

“You too, Mick.” I smile as he walks away. The leash however was twister around his feet so he almost fell over.

“Get it together, Mick.”

#f1 fic #f1 imagine #mick schumacher #f1 x reader #f1blr #female reader #imagine #fluff #blurb #charles leclerc

[starliights-shining]

Bayverse hotrod w gn human reader who literally melts if he ever flirts w them in french???

The entire movie I just wanted- no NEEDED for him to call me either mademoiselle or monsieur whilst he flirt w me cause damn I'd honestly be so flustered to even say a coherent sentence

OMG OMG OMG, WE ARE ALIKE FR FR. I am a big big BIG bayverse!HotRod lover, i simple love all Hot Rod's but him, you are right my friend! French is jsut sooo, you can't go wrong with flirting with it. Anyways, Here is you request. Enjoy :)

Pairing: Bayverse!HotRod x GN!Human

Warning: french(I know you some ppl dont like the french), fluff,

The bot leaned into the window your desk sat in front of, perfectly situated so he could keep you company why you worked. Your fingers caught typing on your laptop, the seven tabs keeping you from talking with your dearly beloved french bot. You peeked up over the laptop, watching as his optics scanned the room for the 500th time over the years, you glanced back down at your screen but looking back up to see him now staring at you. 

“You know not a single one of these pieces are as beautiful as you, mademoiselle/monsieur.” 

You looked away, you had no words, all of a sudden the air felt hot. Your collared shirt was starting to get tight around your neck, your hands were starting to get sweaty, and the tab you were looking at wasn’t making any sense. You got up and turned the fan towards you, standing in front of it. Maybe it was just summer air, especially being in Europe, in an old ass castle, that doesn’t even have good ac. 

“Quoi, fondant comme du chocolat, ma chérie.” 

“What, melting like chocolate, My darling.” 

The room was getting hotter, how on fucking earth was it doing that, your hand came up to the first few buttons on your shirt, Undoing them and then moving down to grab the fabric in a pinch and pulling away and then back again, in a attempt to cool your skin. Why did he decide today is the day, he knows exactly what he's doing after all. He made the connection, you melting to french and flirting. Sometimes he could be so evil.

His optics scanned you from the window, watching you do everything in your power to cool down, from fanning yourself with a magazine, to standing in front of the fan to also holding a fresh out of the fridge water bottle to the back of your neck. Even in the middle of a heat wave summer, and sweating your own personal pool, you still looked gorgeous to him. 

You turned to go back to our desk, sitting down and pressing a few buttons to light it up. You couldn’t tell if you were hot because of the 98 degree weather or if you really were melting because of him, but either way you didn’t care. He was flirting with you, arm perched on the bottom window, leaned in and resting his helm back. 

“Alright, Hot Rod, Tell me what happened again.” 

Sitting up in your chair and looking through your tabs, You wanted him to continue the story, you know the one about the lady who hit him with a polo mallet. He lifted his head and nodded. 

“Yes, Yes, I still forget you weren’t there.” 

You nodded, typing on your computer. His story was detailed, pointing out exact moments he thought you’d enjoy. At some point he was so into this story he was waving his hands around in a frenzy explaining it. His jokes were funny, funny enough to stop you from typing and move a hand to facepalm while laughing. Your laugh, he loved it, If he could he would make you laugh all the time just to hear it. When you looked up from laughing you could see his optics staring at you, almost like a puppy and you had his treats, his treats being your laugh, your existence, your everything. 

“Do that again, it’s quite cute, Mademoiselle/Monsieur.” 

You melted, hands stopped typing as you got up from your desk. It’s getting hot again, extremely hot, too hot. You decided you’d do the only thing you know how, kiss him to shut up. You might die if he keeps that up, and you weren’t trying to do that. You walked over to him, placing your hand on his elbow. He watched intently before moving, the hand on his elbow lifted when you saw he was attempting to move. Fixing his posture before gently grabbing your hand with his servo and bringing it up to his lips for a kiss. 

“I’ll tone it down Mademoiselle/Monsieur, can’t have you melting just yet.” 

#transformers #hot rod #transformers bayverse #bayverse #bayverse hot rod #transformers x reader #tf hot rod #can i even tag rodimus #imma tag rodimus #rodimus x reader #hot rod x reader #hot rod again #stars writings #tf hot rod x reader #french robot

[ceaseless-watchers-special-girl]

you guys. you guys you guys. i think i know what i want from the final season of the penumbra podcast. i have spent the past ten minutes pacing around my room. yesterday i read up to chapter 17 of prydon's fic separate but syncopated (https://archiveofourown.org/works/30943430/chapters/76417991) which let's be honest, you've probably read already. it's phenomenal. if you haven't, you should.

so i've been thinking. i just really want to go back to brahma. i want to go back to brahma and take down the guardian angel system.

the thing is, the junoverse is a very character driven storyline, and i love that about it. the second citadel is more event driven i think, and it was more difficult for me to get into that storyline and stick with it (i'm weak i'm sorry). for example, although the first season focuses a lot on juno solving the whole martian artefact doodah, back then the penumbra crew were still finding their feet.

then junoverse season 2 happened, and the entire point of that season was basically "get juno over his trauma" (that's why it was so long oh my god). sure, there was a whole plot with ramses and the theia souls, but i think we can all agree that was secondary to juno's character development.

next, season 3. season 3 is definitely character driven, you literally can't deny it. it focuses on each member of the carte blanche in turn, and it uses the plot, finding the curemother prime, as a secondary tool to further the true point of the season: getting to know the characters.

season 4 i'm a little less certain about because i'm typing this post straight into tumblr fresh out of my brain (if anyone wants to help out with the analysis i'd love that). but i think the point of season 4 is to test and showcase the bonds of the carte blanche with each other, and juno rescuing them all is not only a good story, but also a good way to show off the relationships they built in season 3. his relationship with nureyev is shown through periodic reading of the journal, and juno's copious inner monologues (i say like i'm one to talk when all of these thoughts are swirling around in my own head).

then, season 5. the point of this season mirrors that of season 2, but this time, we need to get nureyev over his trauma. this is way trickier, because we're not inside nureyev's head, we're still in juno's. it's still character driven because the aim is to help nureyev, but the plot is given by juno having to chase him across the galaxy. hence, juno's hesitation when he finally finds nureyev.

well, steel, you've caught him. now what the hell are you going to do with him?

there is no plot to drive the character study anymore. our goal was to help nureyev, and juno (poor juno) has done all he can. the ball falls squarely into nureyev's court now, and juno has no say in the plot of the rest of the story. this is why i have been chewing myself alive since the last episode — we know what's next for the characters emotionally, but we have absolutely zero idea what's happening next plot-wise. it's killing me.

(what was the point of this post again?)

OH WAIT I'VE GOT IT. so. since our whole thing for this season is helping nureyev, and we all want him to go batshit fucking insane, i really want nureyev to go back to brahma, and finish what he started two decades ago. i think it's the perfect circular story arc to keep them occupied while nureyev heals emotionally from the fallout from everything going on with slip.

also, sorry to get real for a second, but i've just been tearing myself apart being morally outraged at the world we live in, and the fact that i'm barely able to do anything about it. maybe one day i could, but until then, it would be nice to see my favourite space gays set an example.

now, i know there's complications with this. nureyev refused to take the guardian angel system down in the first place because of the damage it would cause, and i'm willing to bet he hasn't excised that moral core just yet, no matter how hard he's trying. but i'm sure they can find a way to make it work. they have rita, after all!!

they're definitely hinting at a homecoming arc for juno. i think nureyev needs one too, is all.

#tpp #the penumbra podcast #junoverse #peter nureyev #juno steel #rambling again sorry #dear god penumbra has me in it's grips will it never let go? #essay #i genuinely for real did not intend this one to be an essay i promise #it just happened my brain doesn't shut up

[woncon]

Flufftober Day 17

Encouraging s.o. to achieve a goal

🍁 felix x gn!reader

🍁 thanks to @wonsheep for helping me fix my grammar mistakes and for giving me advice how to convert a whole story into another language precisely ❣

🍁 flufftober masterlist | main masterlist

✁- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You should be studying, but instead you're looking at Felix. As his eyebrows furrow softly, he browses through the cookbook and then scratches the tip of his nose, leaving a small cloud of flour behind.

You lean close to wipe away the smudge. At first, Felix is a little startled by the sudden closeness, but then he continues to watch the pages with a slightly bemused smile.

"Have you nothing better to do than to look at me?"

"Is there anything better than that?"

Felix grimaces shyly at the compliment, and you feel like your heart will burst out of your chest. How the hell could you be learning French words about love when Felix is standing in front of you, trying to bake you a cake full of love.

"I thought you said you're gonna take a test on something."

Felix's warm gaze finds your notebook by your thigh. You quickly shove it against the wall behind your back, but of course the boy notices and blinks at you, mildly puzzled.

"Fine, I have to learn French. But I can't. I'd much rather watch you. After the cake's done and we've watched the mov-"

"No, no." Felix dusts off his floury hands, walks to the tap, washes them, then firmly grabs your notebook and lays it on your lap. "You can't put it off. It never leads to anything good. I'll help you, then we can bake together."

"Alright." As Felix's face lights up with excitement, so does your enthusiasm. You open your notebook to the concepts to be learned. It's not much, really, just a mini-test, but it's still a pain to get yourself to study. Of course, now that your boyfriend is offering his services, it's a different story.

You quickly run through the words, then hand him the notebook. You're ready, let's get it over with. Felix nods, reads the meaning of a word to quiz you, and you suddenly panic as those pretty lips, reading silently, empty your short-term memory.

"What's gently?" he inquires, his eyes fixed on your face. You shake your head. You're ashamed that you can't answer even though you just saw the solution. Seeing your exasperated expression, Felix takes pity on you.

"Tendrement," he smiles encouragingly, and takes possession of your lips again as he looks at the next solution. This time it's not slow, but intense, blood-pumping, yearning. He grips your hips, presses himself tightly between your legs, his tongue as if to carve the letters he pronounces as he part your lips.

"À la folie," he whispers in your ear. Your throat is dry. Nobody said Felix's deep voice mixed with French would make you so weak. "The meaning is passionately or madly."

"It was indeed mad." You throat is like a parched desert, you clear it, searching for water. Luckily for you, there's a bottle on the other side of the counter you're sitting on, which you take into your hand.

"Can we continue?" He asks after you drink a few fresh sips.

"Un peu, a little bit. Beaucoup, very. Pas du tout, not at all. I know these," you announce, while he checks that you've got them right. Somehow you've pulled them out of the short term after all. Or maybe Felix's kiss was so effective that the words bounced enthusiastically into your long-term memory.

"You won't forget the other two?"

"I don't think so." It's totally impossible to get Felix's teaching technique out of your head the next day, you're sure. "But we can still practice a few more times. You know, just to make sure."

"Oh, of course. Glad to help." Felix's wide, excited, sweet smile makes you weak in the knee - so it's very useful for you that you are sitting right now.

Your notebook lays forgotten on the counter under Felix's palm as you reach into his hair to swallow his sweet sigh into your mouth and love him as these learned words suggest.

flufftober taglist (send an ask! <3)

@jaeheekangslover

@haechansbbg

#fluff #flufftober 2023 #flufftober #stray kids fluff #stray kids felix #stray kids felix x reader #lee felix #gender neutral y/n #felix x reader #felix x y/n #felix x you #skz felix #skz fluff #skz x y/n #skz x you #skz x reader #skz x stay #skz x gn reader #stray kids x gn reader #stray kids x stay #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader #stray kids x gender neutral reader #lee felix fluff #lee felix x reader #lee felix x y/n #lee felix x you #day 17

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Hiii, miss me?

Now you want to kiss me (or have to? Wasn't there a song like that?)

This month my blog turned two years old. I got the notification in my email. Last year I made an entire celebration post by publishing the funniest/ridiculous asks I got. There were good times back then. Still. Not so much afterwards.

I wasn't the nicest presence in the last few months leading to me abandoning the blog. And I wasn't too discreet about it. Although there was more to it, a lot more. But I'll get there.

First things first. Why am I here when on the 24th of March I dramatically declared that I'm leaving forever? Well, that was a very emotionally-charged post and the result of a few factors. I'm not entirely proud of how I made my exit, but it's also a true reflection of my personality so there's no point in making excuses. Nevertheless, I will explain as much as I can (I still care about privacy, just like before).

On that Friday, I woke up excited. I took a day off from work (yes...I know), I listened to Face, watched the music video. All good. But I was also dreading a bit having to come here because I knew there was this expectation of me to come up with some thought-provoking analysis, say something smart and all that. I was exhausted on all levels, emotionally and intellectually. I had also promised to leave after the promotions were over, somewhere in the middle of April (who would have thought it would last 9 days? Not me), but the plans changed. Not to drag it too much, but on that day I also officially announced to some concerned parties that I'm changing career paths. You know, just something I thought I'd be doing until the day I die and I've been working towards for at least 10 years. No big deal. I was planning on doing it anyway, but actually saying the words and make it real is a different story. I felt extatic, full of adrenaline, so happy with my decision and at that moment, it felt the right time to close BMT. It was somehow directly connected. I made the blog as an escape and now I got the opportunity to turn the page over. It was perfect. Best day ever. I clicked post, I logged out, and then I sat. And after a while, the reality of my decisions hit me in the face. And I felt sad and empty because what the hell am I doing now and what is my identity? I closed my blog too which was my main hobby. And so followed some difficult days. And then it got better. And then bad again. And so on, because it's a roller coaster.

The thing is, I can change my interests, but I can't stop myself from being opinionated. And getting excited. And wanting to talk about it. And share all that on a public platform with some strangers that are interested in what I have to say. Or they used to. It's who I am.

This blog won't remain Bangtan Media Thoughts because I want more than that. I will rebrand this page. I could start fresh with a new blog, but this is still my space and I know some people were interested in reading about other things as well from me, not just BTS. I hope I can built something from that.

The blog won't reflect only a specific niche of interests, but everything that I like in terms of pop culture. From movies, music, fashion, gossip, you name it. Including Kpop. And if I feel the need to rant about Hybe after talking about Ryan Gosling's Ken, I will. Same about JM, JK or whoever I feel like it. If there is a good advice that I got in the last few months, is to adapt and not force myself to abandon something completely. Because it's not as easy as it sounds. And to be honest, it was easier to give up smoking than completely lose interest in kpop. It's a habit. Perhaps this new blog will reflect the way I try to deal with that. A bit more honestly, a little less discourse, certainly less essays because I don't have them in me at the moment. But never say never. This blog will be all me, not just BMT.

I will change the name and url 24h after I post this. This will be an opportunity for all my followers to decide if they want to stay or they are not interested in the new direction. Feel free to do as you please. I welcome new people and greet the old ones who didn't hit unfollow for some reason.

It will go like this:

Bangtan Media Thoughts > Reflections in a Critical Eye

New theme, new profile photo, new beginnings.

All the old posts will still be here. I don't plan on deleting anything. They are all a product of me and my brain and they have their place. I'll probably pin some new posts these days that have to do with the rebranding. It will be like a construction site, but it will be worth it.

One last thing though. After I abruptly left, I received some DMs. I saw them back then. I do feel sorry about those who wanted to check in with me or with whom I used to talk regularly. But I do hope that some of the things I said today will explain my behavior. I also won't start communicating again like that, at least for now. I always felt a bit pressured and I'm not the best at maintaining conversations in private. If that changes, I'll make that clear.

That's it for now. I'm excited. I feel like writing again so here's to another chapter.

My inbox is open and will be, just as usual. No more messages to BMT, but you can call me M. Like in the Bond movies 😉

#bmt blog #probably the last time I will use that tag

[undiscovered-horizon]

Imagine being the one who releases Morpheus. - ENDING

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [ALT. ENDING] || Sandman-inspired playlist

[...] Among those lights, I saw eternity Hidden somewhere in unknown chasms Although gods hid it so well It was here, sitting in front of me In that eternity I saw myself Among family photographs Preserved in every whispered word Or a poem left in the drawer When a black cortege follows me I will live on in their stories Still generous in my words: There is no end

Never once did you consider that living would be so physically difficult so early. You weren't even halfway through your life and breathing was becoming a hardship as well as walking or carrying things. All of that came as a consequence of your choice - a choice which morality you never disputed, although on odd occasions you did fantasize about the could-haves. At the time, the unfair exchange, your life instead of his, seemed so obvious as though it was unacceptable for you to even consider a different course of action. But now, when your days were counted, a certain melancholic reflection haunted your thoughts: what must happen to a person to be willing to give their life up so easily? Maybe there was a hidden truth in your sacrifice, something you never quite realized or admitted to yourself. Those thoughts, however, were in vain now just like a prisoner is better off not dreaming about the cotton-like clouds lazily drifting across the blue sky, pushed in their direction by a soft blow of the first warm wind sometime in June.

"Our time is coming to an end, dear Morpheus," you said quietly as you inspected the black web sprawling across your skin. In some macabre way, it looked fascinating and beautiful the same way fresh blood wonderfully glistens on marble floors. "The curse is eating my body away."

"Such knowledge is not yours to possess," his tone sounded as if he was warning you. "Only Death knows that."

It wasn't true, not necessarily. A sudden change in your behaviour did not escape Morpheus's attention such as the fact that you had to take a break every few steps and lean against something. Despite that, having irrefutable proof of your words right before his eyes, Morpheus opted to remain oblivious. He voluntarily chose this blindness.

"True, I do not know my fate for sure. Call it a gut feeling, if you will. Mine is calling unto eternity."

In some bitter way, it was all very funny: a mortal was approaching unending aeons and one of the Endless was running out of time.

For a while, he stood silently watching you. His lips were slightly pursed but you couldn't quite decipher what emotions stood behind such an expression. Morpheus's unreadable face was complemented with those steel blue eyes that seemed to stare intensely through you as if by looking in your direction he could see something else, something only irises as arcane as his could perceive.

"May I ask one more thing of you, dear Morpheus?"

"Of course."

"Wait with me, down by the sea. I'd hate to go in loneliness."

What a magnificent creature you must be! To effortlessly make an immortal god patiently wait for death.

The sky in the east was already bright. Above the distant horizon, where endless waters crashed on the shores of fantasy and wonder, a bright hue appeared. Slowly, it became a mirage of beautifully warm colours. The Sun, as glorious as it was awaited, slowly crawled out of the cold sea to once again begin its tireless journey across the firmament. Not even cotton-like clouds had the courage to hide this mundane miracle.

The thick material of his coat was slightly coarse against your cold cheek but it was pleasantly warm all the same. His shoulders slightly raised and fell with each of his breaths. Morpheus's head was hesitantly resting against yours and this anxious intimacy made you fearful to move even the smallest of muscles; his longing was always silent but never invisible. Perhaps, as befits a dream, his heartache was fleeting, disappearing in the very moment someone dares to entertain a different thought.

A content sigh left your mouth. "Look at her, the Sun!" you exclaimed happily. "She rises each morning to warm Earth and never asks for anything in return. She lets us live in such a beautiful world and yet, never says 'you owe me.'"

The white sand quietly rustled as someone slowly walked behind the two of you. Over the loud crashing of the waves, the stroll was hardly audible. After a few steps, the stranger stopped like they were waiting for one of you to finally acknowledge them. Dream decided to be the first to break the tense silence:

"Must you always be on time, sister?" he asked without looking over his shoulder. Maybe, just maybe, Morpheus was wrong and it wasn't your hour yet. Unfortunately, the stranger didn't deny the name he gave them. "Couldn't you be late this one day?"

"I am only fulfilling my duty," she answered.

"People spend their entire lives wondering where Death will lead them, you know?" Although your words were directed at Morpheus, your stare remained focused on the faraway horizon. "Hell, Heaven, Sheol... I never did," you said with a slight shrug of shoulders. "Perhaps, I like surprises a little too much."

"Wherever my sister leads you, it is somewhere I can not follow." Perhaps, in one of his deeply hidden and never admitted fantasies, it was enough to stop you from embarking on your last voyage.

"You are a king, dear Morpheus. You do not follow," you reminded him. His cold, blue eyes were bloodshot. With all the strength he could muster, Morpheus prevented those sinful, bitter tears from falling - yet. Feeling your heart break for him, your hands gently cradled his face. "Love, don’t cry. We were always headed this way. What story doesn't have a super fin?"

Dream took in a sharp inhale naively thinking it was enough to stop his heart from being torn in half at hearing you call him by the most beautiful of names. "Yours is much too early," he quietly said in a shaky voice. Perhaps if he spoke even slightly louder, calloused evil that hid beyond this realm would also hear it. But instead of raising its monstrous hand against him, it would surely weep too.

"I could live a thousand years in this world and it still wouldn't be enough, there is still so much to see, so much to love. But I shan't grieve the years I wasn't given. Instead, I'll always cherish those few I did have."

Morpheus clenched his jaw in a futile attempt to prevent his lips from trembling. His eyebrows suddenly furrowed and cheeks raised. "What am I to do with the emptiness you're leaving me with?" he asked angrily.

"Emptiness?" you repeated. A dry, sad chuckle left your lips as you stared into his red eyes. "One day, flowers shall grow out of my rotting corpse and those flowers will end up in an ornate vase on someone's windowsill to be cherished and admired. My dear Morpheus, there is no end."

His lips parted slightly as if he was about to say something, defy your poetic wisdom with his pragmatism but he didn't. He simply couldn't. Instead of words, Morpheus shared a tear that you tirelessly wiped away from his face.

"There's still so much I've yet to tell you," you quietly confessed.

"Then tell me now," he demanded. One of his hands gently grabbed your wrist as if he feared your touch might leave his face at any moment and he wasn't yet ready for such a loss. After all, only recently did he realize how his heart bloomed whenever he felt you. "I'm here, I'm listening."

"Oh, my lovely Morpheus..." you whispered with laughter in your voice. A tear dropped from your eye as you brushed your thumb against his cold cheek. Your swollen, trembling lips were still curved into a smile as if there was anything happy about your premature parting. "Among all the centuries and billions of lives, we met each other. I'd like to think it wasn't accidental, that maybe, for a moment, we were divine."

"There is nothing holy about our parting."

Morpheus recalled Yasmin's words: 'God looks after his angels and so should you.' But he never was a god - sacredness did not weave his bones like it did with yours. Whatever divinity might have resided in him was never once his. No, it came from your cup, a chalice out of which he drank a little too greedily for a creature of his kind. That halo around his head was once your crown.

"It's time for us to go," Death stated. Her tone was firm but never cold.

You slipped out of his longing touch and made your way towards the woman standing not too far behind you and Dream. As if frozen in time, Morpheus remained completely still. He did not have the courage to look at his sister who, surely, graced him with a sympathetic gaze. Whatever he could tell her, whatever pathetic and completely pointless begging he could commit, it wasn't anything she hadn't already seen or heard.

Suddenly, a meowing resounded over the pleasantly rhythmic crashing of waves - the very same meowing you heard from the living room of your house. Turning around to look at the unexpected guest, you were met with a sight most strange and welcome: an orange cat that was missing one of its front paws. Its greenish-yellow eyes reminded you of sun-dried long grass growing on a meadow hidden among a pine forest.

"Hugo!" you exclaimed. Unable to stop yourself from reaching for the missed pet, you crouched the moment you saw his red fur. "I never thought I'd see you again, you little fiery menace! I was barely six when we bid our farewells."

The feline only meowed again and bumped its small head against your leg. Curiously, he didn't leave paw prints on the white, cold sand. Too busy at the exciting reunion, you never noticed Death's slightly furrowed eyebrows as she stared at the cat. What was it doing there?

Scratching Hugo's chin and head, you noticed something strange about his pendant: it didn't read 'Hugo' anymore, although you knew it did the day he passed away. Instead of his name gracing the small metal plate, there were tally marks - seven, to be exact. You could only wonder what kind of trouble that fearless, silly friend had gotten into since the last time you saw him.

Not pondering the question of the appearing cat any longer, Death lead you in the direction of a destination only she knew of. Hugo, however, did not follow you right away. He sat on the cold concrete of the nearby boulevard, watching Dream's back. After a while, the feline let out a questioning purring-like sound, perhaps in confusion at the man's unwillingness to move from his spot. Hugo meowed again but never managed to catch the Dream King's attention. In a somewhat defeated manner, the cat got up and trotted in the direction of wherever Death was walking you.

Morpheus listened to you walk away with Death, never daring to look at you this one last time. Then, when silence fell on the world, it was unbearably loud. It was in the rustling of sand, in the crashing of waves and calling of seagulls: Mother Nature was mocking his yearning, a temporary whim that could not measure to her timeless might. In the distance, he saw a raft of mallards that seemed to quack at him.

"You, too, have been abandoned," he said to them, although never really expected the birds to understand such devastating words. Lucky them.

The blue sky grew black and Sun drowned in the endless seas before Morpheus got up from the sand. In a truly miserable fashion, he promised himself to never discard his grief. As long as he held onto that misery of your passing, placed you like a thorny crown on his head, you couldn't be gone, not entirely. In all of his selfishness, he wanted to curse you to never rest in peace but forever haunt him instead. Aren't rubble and ruin happier with a ghost that wanders their has-been halls, a companion to sweeten their decay? As a wraith of all the passion he never got to reveal, Morpheus would be able to love you as long he wished as though you were a wilted flower whose owner doesn't have the heart to throw out just yet. Perhaps you were akin to a dried sunflower that loomed over the window of his soul, always reminding all of creation that a life that is missed is a life that was loved and a heart that breaks is a heart that was once whole.

Morpheus had gone somewhere without a word and so Lucienne began her day in a frantic search for the lord of the realm. On top of his not-so-recent captivity, he'd been acting strange ever since he returned with the ruby and the pouch. The King of Dreaming would walk around the palace in a somewhat moping, round-shouldered manner, wandering like a phantom that couldn't find a place to haunt. Refusing to say more than a handful of words at the time, Lucienne and Jessamy could only suspect that a true calamity had fallen on their lord and friend. Morpheus, however, had a strange and entirely frustrating inclination for keeping his cards to himself.

At last, they did find him. Jessamy's black wings scoured lands near and far from the palace, only to find Dream King at work - contemplating his solitude as he busied himself with building new Dreams or Nightmares. Such news elicited a heavy sigh of relief from Lucienne, who dreaded seeing Dreaming fall into ruin once more. Still, her annoyance prevailed as she pondered how difficult it was for the King to speak about his plans and prevent the recent tensions from coming back to their original severity. Aside from that, there were still many matters the Lord of Dreaming should tend to, although probably none of them was as important as his current occupation.

Wasting no time, Lucienne and Jessamy paid a visit to working Morpheus. Despite several humanoid forms rising from the sands underneath their feet, Dream seemed to be focused on only one of them: one that appeared suspiciously not strange. The longer Lucienne stared at the oddly familiar face, the more she grew convinced that she did, in fact, know its owner - even if her entire knowledge was taken from Dream's account of his escape. "Isn't that...?"

"Yes, Lucienne," he interjected. Some part of Morpheus feared that she might just say your name out loud and he couldn't be sure what madness would take hold of him then. It was a beast best left unpoked. "They deserved to live many more years. The world deserved it. In fact, I think the world desperately needed it. Now they can live out the years stolen from them as something too human for me to understand yet: the dream of loving and being loved. Greek agape, if you will."

"Forgive me, my lord, but if you never quite understood it, how can you recreate it?"

Morpheus's blank stare was focused on your face. Like all the great painters and sculptors of humanity, he, too, chiselled his love into a masterpiece of artistry. How deranged such action truly was: to recreate his heart's greatest desire and claim for it to be something every person wished to have. "The sun never says," he whispered to himself but taking into account the hardly existing distance between him and his artwork, he could have been whispering those words to the monument of you.

"My lord?"

He turned towards Lucienne again. "The sun warms the earth and yet it never says 'you owe me'. Tenderness, they used to call it."

How tragic his affection truly was: he was but a moon in love with the sun. They were destined to live apart and yet he would be dim without the light she had so freely given him, never asking for anything in return. And just like with those beautiful celestial bodies, all the stars in the sky - each light of past, present and future - sighed in relief at your meeting.

Morpheus stared at his work in silence. It wasn't finished yet. In fact, it was far from being finished but he had already spent so much time perfecting the smallest of details, he had to remind himself of other duties he still had to tend to. Unlike the real you, his newly made Dream will wait for him until the edges of eternity. Although Lucienne did not gain any more understanding from his vague answer to his question, Morpheus's response was more than exhausting for someone who had experienced your gentle soul.

To his displeasure, there were other matters he had to take care of as the king of this wonderful realm. Seeing your nearly finished effigy, a new vigour entered his tired bones as if the sole sight of your features could remake him into a different creature. Suddenly, in the golden stardust you put into his veins, there was something holy about your parting: the moon, after all, shines not with his own light but the sun's. "Come, Lucienne, there is much we are yet to do. The world is spinning and we mustn't only stand on it."

But neither Lucienne nor Jessamy followed him immediately. Instead, they exchanged equally suspicious and confused looks. Their lord's behaviour was only becoming stranger and neither of them could point out exactly why, although they did have their, mostly correct, theories.

"Is he... being optimistic?" Jessamy asked. Putting 'Morpheus' and 'optimism' in one sentence seemed impossible unless someone wanted to accentuate his moping.

"I'm afraid so," Lucienne slowly answered as she watched Morpheus walk away into the distance.

After another moment of silence, Lucienne let out a light sigh and marched after Morpheus. Jessamy wanted to follow, take flight to reach the king in no time, but an unforeseen event prohibited her from doing so; the raven shrieked as an orange cat playfully tugged at her tail with its sharp teeth.

I'd like to thank everyone who supported this little series - your love was a monumental motivation! I'm really content with how this chapter/part turned out (I bawled my eyes out writing this bye). Perhaps, the ending was not what you expected but perhaps I can write an alternative one...?

Tagging people who were interested in a follow-up: @rosaren2498 @jessiboobdbdb @chantzmar @lexi-anastasia @bisexualunicronrunningloose @farintonorth @oo0lady-mad0oo@all-bi-myselfs-blog @piperstofu101 @magic-magnoliaa @kotonei-molyneux @wheresmyboo @supermegapauselouca @sloanexx @rockergirl57 @aizawa-emma @ruyi-years @commanderfreethatdust @sapphireonline @izzicle@mxxny-lupin @shadowluna25

#the sandman fanfic #the sandman imagine #the sandman netflix #morpheus sandman #the sandman fanfiction #the sandman #the sandman x reader #the sandman x you #morpheus x reader #morpheus x you #morpheus imagine #morpheus #lord morpheus #lord morpheus x reader #dream of the endless imagine #dream of the endless fanfiction #dream of the endless x you #dream of the endless x reader #dream of the endless

[mdhwrites]

Saw the TOH Finale in Its Entirety.

I think I need a little time away from talking about TOH after it. I have some blogs prepared but I may just let myself breathe a little bit. This isn't me suddenly calling the finale good. No... No. Like For the Future, it was an episode I'd always seen and heard enough to know I wouldn't like it. I'd watched enough of it to know it was bad. I had to watch the Collector's redemption for a different blog though and when that portion was done, I decided to watch the last fifteen minutes I hadn't seen.

And... I could say a lot about it but this picture is all I need to focus on.

This was the end of the series.

Oh yeah, there were six minutes after it that showed them in the future but this was the end of the series. They had just spent 3-4 minutes with epilogue narration, a curtain call saying farewell to everyone and showing they were safe, showing us that the Isles would heal and then it came to this. Luz thinks about how she'll miss magic but grew as a person and how all of this will have made her better. Made her able to face the future and then you get this shot.

That is the end of a story. Period.

But then TOH wastes six more minutes running it back and doing the exact. Same. Thing but worse. Because it doesn't end on the thematic focus of Luz's journey, growth, and what you can take away from it. It ends on self indulgence, takes EVEN LONGER, and on a forced group shot that includes villains and one off characters for some reason. It's much worse composed than this, it's much less meaningful but they decided not to cut it. They decided they couldn't choose one of two endings and so did both.

All while the Collector fails to properly finish his redemption arc or admit that what he'd done was wrong. While Luz dies in a sequence of like five plot beats and reveals that happen in like a minute's time. While the episode is repetitive and contradictory in the most infuriating ways and even when it's looking good, the story boarding and choreography and lack of real creativity is holding it back. All while claiming it's so much better than other media while doing exactly what it's mocking.

In other words... It was indeed a finale to TOH.

But it's a finale that makes me feel worried about being able to kind to it. After all, the creators of this show complained about being shortened. Claimed they had so many ideas. So many they never got to tell. But then... Then they made this finale and spent a fifth of the time on two different endings rather than actually completing and fleshing out their story.

I don't think Dana's name will do anything but turn me away from a project now. Not unless I know she's not a part of the writing team. And... While that may still just be due to the quality of her work, I do not want this thought so fresh in my mind. Not when my analytical roots sadly still stem from an angry part of me and was first birthed out of an angry part of the internet. It doesn't change my opinion but like I said, I think I just need some time and I have some blogs cued to post in the meantime, as well as some Amphibia asks I can get to instead.

See you all next tale. Hopefully I find a new one to get stuck into properly soon.

#the owl house criticism #toh critical #toh #the owl house

[misc-obeyme]

The way that im approaching the "father's love" thing is just that like. Lots of people with abusive parents have a really complicated relationship with them bc, unless they're cartoonishly evil, there are probably SOME positive memories associated with that parent. Since the fall is more of a fresh wound in NB, Lucifer probably hasn't processed his emotions around it so he's still trying to navigate his contradictory feelings towards his father. (Thus, he's a lot easier to manipulate in that way. From Father's pov, it's in his best interest for Lucifer to not hate him since he's in a more powerful position than expected, so I think he set this up while intending from the beginning to "rescue" him.)

Do I think that's what the devs had in mind? No. But it's the story I'm telling myself lmao

Ah, anon, you're right, I keep forgetting how recent the fall is in NB. Lucifer hasn't had a lot of time to deal with how he really feels. And he likely does have some lingering love for Father... and that would make it easier for him to forgive Father now, most likely.

Certainly the devs never have this level of nuance in mind. I don't think the writers put in anywhere near as much thought as we do when it comes to this kind of thing. It could very well just have been oh wouldn't it be cool if Lucifer transformed into an angel at this part? Sometimes they just get on my nerves with their nonsense lol.

Anyway, it does help to think about it in the context of Lucifer's recent move away from his Father. I suspect it's hardest at the beginning, when you haven't been separated from that abuse for very long. Then to have them come around and be like I forgive you? Yeah, okay. I can see why Lucifer might be willing to accept that.

Though I think it's interesting because Lucifer wasn't like okay yeah I'm ready to go back. He's still saying the Devildom is home. So Father didn't succeed if he's expecting Lucifer to come back on his own.

So maybe Father was tapping into those fond memories of Lucifer's, but it still wasn't enough.

I kinda like that, actually. Lucifer's still recovering, he's allowed to be a weirdo about Father's love for a bit, I suppose. Though I don't think I personally would be able to hear him say stuff like that and just let it go. I'd be like listen, I understand that you're going through it right now, but are you sure that's how you should be feeling about all of this?

Lucifer frustrates me because he always seems to be so convinced that his way is the right way. And I want him to consider that perhaps he's wrong, at least about this.

#part of my issue is that I got into this game for the fluff and fun #and they're pretty good at that part #but when it comes to serious stuff #they kinda drop the ball #so now I'm like #can you please get back to what you're good at #just let me kiss some demons okay #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me lucifer #anon asks #misc answers

[kindred-sims]

Slighty long-ish post incoming

Folks, can I be honest with you all for a moment?

Much as I love and miss the Wakefields, I've just not held the want to do anything with them lately. Which really pains me to admit, but I feel like I'd be lying to myself if I kept saying otherwise. Maybe its my ADHD or maybe its my imposter syndrome, I don't know, but either way I'm just not content with the story as a whole. While there are definitely moments and screenshots that I'm very proud of, at the same time, I feel like there were also moments where I was just rushing bits of the story out and not taking the time I could've to flesh the characters out as much as I wanted to. I was still trying to find a balance between gameplay and storytelling and...yeah, it shows, doesn't it? It really does show, and that's just not what I want right now as far as that goes. And honestly, I also get very overwhelmed any time I approach the thought of going into that save and doing anything.

So, I'm sure you've all figured it out by now, but the Wakefield Legacy is going on an indefinite hiatus. Sincerest apologies to those who were excited for the 1900s, believe me, this was not a decision I made lightly. I dearly love my Wakefields and might even return to them someday, but as of right now, I'm just not sure I want to.

However!

I will say that reading everyone else's recent and lovely decades stories has given me the urge to return to storytelling, and that's exactly what I intend to do in the near future. I really feel that at this point, starting fresh would be good for me as far as a decades save goes, and it just so happens I have a couple of good ideas I might pursue...no promises when, but I've got a good feeling that it'll be sooner rather than later.

#been a bit hesitant to post this but #i've just been experiencing so much burnout lately #my brain needs a hard reset at this point #non sims

[24-7-testing]

For The People Who Are Still Alive...

Hey Portal Friends and Followers,

I hope you're all doing well! Lately, I've had something on my mind that I think it's time to share with you all. Over the past year or so, my life has taken some significant turns! Major events have included graduating from college, starting my career in Design Engineering, and getting married! Life has been an exciting roller coaster, and I'm enjoying all the fun new things.

However, among all the changes, I've also been contemplating my relationship with the Portal games and the Portal Fandom. Some of you may have noticed that I haven't been active on this blog for quite a while. The Testing Queue still goes out daily but, beyond that, I haven't been sharing new artwork or engaging as much. My YouTube channel, where I used to make Portal videos and build robots and props, has been on a long hiatus too. Everything Portal-related in my life just doesn’t seem as captivating as it used to be.

These days, when I think about Portal and all the things I used to do in the fandom, it conjures a strange feeling in me. On one hand, I still hold the story and characters dear, and I fondly remember all the fantastic fanart, interactions, and stories that I’ve seen as part of the fandom. But on the other hand, the fervor and eagerness I once had seem to have softened. It's like my passion has transformed from being a passionate superfan to a calmer and more passive enthusiast.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of transition in their fandom journey? If so, I'd love to hear how you dealt with it and any insights or suggestions you might have for me. Feel free to reply or DM.

These feelings have left me with a dilemma: what to do with my blog. I don't want to abandon it or delete it, but even refilling my queue is starting to feel tiresome. Plus, without active effort I'll eventually run out of posts to queue from my archive, so maintaining the queue alone is only a temporary solution. I've been toying with the idea of inviting someone who’s more active in the fandom to become a Moderator for the blog and keep it alive with fresh content, but I'm still uncertain about this option. If you have any feedback on that idea, please reply or DM.

So that's where I stand now. My life has taken me in a new direction and, while I still love Portal, I don't have the same time and energy to invest in the fandom as before. I'm eager to find a way to keep this blog alive in a way that feels authentic and will keep the content you all followed for going for the foreseeable future.

If any of you have encouraging words, suggestions, ideas, or thoughts, I'm all ears! Your support has meant the world to me, whether you've followed 24-7-testing since its inception in 2016 or if you just followed a few days ago. Please don’t be shy about replying or DMing me. I'm genuinely grateful for each one of you!

Rock On Portal Fandom!

- 24-7-testing

#24-7-testing rambles #aperture science #aperture laboratories #portal #portal 2 #portal fandom #life events