#and i watch 'ive been thinking of ending things'

[vodika-vibes]

ive been having a really really rough week. my depression has been kicking my ass and ive been just rotting in my bed most days. but would it be too much for me to request something where the reader (gender neutral please) is essentially doing that (rotting in bed, barely eating, and not leaving their home) when their boyfriend (tech) comes home and sees his partner like that.

i think i just need something really comforting and sweet with tech taking care of the reader, and being really gentle and understanding about everything.

For You

Summary: When your depression hits you hard while Tech is away, you struggle to force yourself to do anything more than lay in bed.

Pairing: TBB Tech x GN!Reader

Word Count: 693

Warnings: Reader is depressed

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: I'm sorry to hear that you've been having a rough time. I hope this fic helps, even if it's only a little bit. I will admit that this isn't my best work, Tech was fighting me every step of the way, but I hope you like it anyway.

Your gaze is locked on the holo at the end of the bed. You’re not quite sure what you’re watching, it looks like an infomercial about some kind of super towel.

It’s dumb. It’s dumb and stupid and pointless…but rolling over to change the channel to something else feels hard and impossible, so instead you just curl around your pillow and keep watching the infomercial.

You haven’t gotten out of bed for longer than it takes to go to the bathroom in days. Though, you did force yourself to eat some instant noodles this morning. And the reminder from Tech that he was coming home today did prompt you to drag yourself to the shower earlier.

But even so, when you hear the front door open, you can’t seem to work up the will to go and greet Tech, and you kind of hate yourself for it.

The last thing you’ve ever wanted was to be a burden for him, and yet here you are. Burdening him.

You hear silence for a moment, just a moment, and then familiar heavy footsteps through the apartment, before your bedroom door slides open. You do manage to twist so you’re able to peer up at the man standing in the door.

Neither of you say anything for a moment, and you watch as Tech’s gaze slides from you, bundled up in your most comfortable blanket, to the stack of water bottles next to the bed, and the empty cup of instant noodles.

And then his gaze slides back to your face, and there is something soft and warm on his face, “Having a hard time, love?”

“...m’sorry.”

“You do not have to apologize. Not for this. Not to me.” Tech walks around the bed, and picks up the trash, before he leaves the room for a few minutes.

And then he’s back, and he’s no longer wearing his armor.

“Do you feel up to getting up with me, love?” He asks as he sits on the side of the bed.

You sigh quietly, “That sounds hard.”

“That is alright, you do not have to.” He reaches over and lightly brushes his fingers against your cheek, “How long have you been in this condition?”

A shrug, “A couple of days. Maybe.”

“Have you been eating?”

“...sorry.”

He smiles at you sadly, “It is alright. Do you think you will be willing to curl up on the couch while I make you food?”

You consider his words for a long moment, and then you nod, “I guess I can do that,” You admit, and you’re rewarded with a beaming smile and a gentle hand on your shoulder. 

“I am glad,” Tech admits, his touch so gentle as he encourages you to sit up and then swing your legs off the bed. 

“I’m sorry for being such a…pain.” You mumble as you lean into him and press your face against his shoulder.

“You are not a pain. You are just having a hard time right now. And that is okay.” Tech folds his arms around you, “Is there anything specific that you would like to eat?”

“...something easy?”

“How about pancakes?”

You rub your nose against his shoulder, “I suppose pancakes don't sound too hard.”

“Good. I know that they are your favorite.” Tech guides you towards the living room and gets you settled on the couch, before he tucks a blanket tightly around you, and he kisses your forehead, “One plate of pancakes, coming right up.”

“Thank you, Tech.”

“For what?”

“Taking care of me. For not being mad. For being you. Take your pick.”

“You do not have to thank me for that.” Tech presses a light kiss to the top of your head, “I am happy to take care of you. And I would never be mad. Not at you. Not for this.”

He presses one more kiss to your forehead, and then, finally vanishes into the kitchen to start making food.

You curl up under the blanket, and watch him move around the kitchen, and a small smile crosses your face. You love him so much…you’re just glad that he loves you just as much.

#star wars #tbb #tbb tech x reader #tech x reader #star wars fanfiction #x reader fanfiction #gn!reader fic #answered asks

[nadvs]

okay i’m on my period and ive been listening to fourth of july by sufjan stevens on REPEATTT😭 it’s inspired a fic idea that i think u would absolutely nail !!!!

sad ofc but rafe’s ex (moved out of the obx) gets news that he’s passed away. it’s centred around her going home, going thru the motions of how jarring it is that someone as big and powerful and stoic as rafe is just….gone. not there anymore. the lyrics of the song are great inspo ofc, but yeah just a huge ball of heartache and emotional despair!

if u wanted to lighten things up a pt2 could be like rafe faked his death vibes, angst and reunion and love and ahhhh!

၊၊||၊၊||၊၊ fourth of july / sufjan stevens

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

content warning death, drug abuse

When you saw the post on social media, you thought it was a sick joke.

But then you read the comments, full of canned condolences and useless prayers, and your refusal to accept the news crumbled with every typed word until you couldn’t possibly deny it any longer.

Someone commented asking how. Someone else replied overdose.

Sorrow and loss and shock and nausea swirled through you. You paced around your bedroom, chest heaving, glancing at the door as if someone was coming to pull you out of the nightmare.

Eventually, you found the strength to text Sarah. You still had her number even though you broke things off with Rafe three months ago.

She gave you the details for the funeral that Saturday.

It’s a hot, sunny afternoon when you make it to Kildare Island. It’s wrong that the world is still spinning, boasting beautiful weather on a gruesome day.

You think bitterly about how people are surely enjoying the sun today, all while the man you still love is being buried.

When Sarah sees you at the church, she gives you a mournful, forced smile. You hug her, your eyes swollen and red and aching, your throat burning as you tell her I’m sorry and are you okay?

You’re not sure if Rafe told her about why you broke up.

— and i’m sorry i left, but it was for the best though it never felt right

He hated that you wanted to move to another state for a job opportunity. He didn’t understand why you didn’t want to stay, why he couldn’t just take care of you.

You told him this was for the best and he’d find a girl who’d make him happy. He told you that was bullshit.

You doubt Sarah knows. He never spoke much to his sister unless he was fighting with her, so she likely has no idea why you ended an otherwise happy relationship.

There’s a large photo of him sitting on an easel at the front. You’re surprised they found a picture of him smiling.

It’s grainy and clearly zoomed in, likely from a group photo. He always had a great smile. He hardly showed it.

The lights hit the photographed blue of his eyes dully. Nothing like how he looked when he was alive. Even beneath the anger and bitterness Rafe carried around, he had a brightness in his eyes reserved solely for you.

You watched it fade the day you left him.

— make the most of your life, while it is rife, while it is light

When you see the coffin resting above the plot in the cemetery, you think you might be sick.

You knew Rafe liked coke. You feel naive now that you didn’t realize it was a problem. He just did it at parties when you were dating. At least, you thought he did.

Maybe you could have prevented this.

You remember the way his arm was wrapped around your waist at one of the last beach house parties you attended together. It was when you were still considering the job offer, knowing deep down you were going to take it.

He smelled like cologne and sweat and Rafe, his cheek against yours as he spoke over the loud music.

“You can’t move,” he said, chuckling and high out of his mind. “Look how much fun we’re having, baby.”

“I’d have more fun if we left,” you told him. He scoffed. But then he led you out of the party, down to the beach, hugging you from behind, kissing your neck as you sat in the sand.

“How’s this?” Rafe murmured. He earned laughs from you, his lips on your neck. “Fun?”

“Yeah,” you replied sincerely.

But you still left.

You can hardly listen to the sermon, but one part reverberates through you like it’s being screamed into your ears. We don’t face this life or death without promises.

There was a time when you and Rafe lived in a promise together. But now you just live, and he doesn’t.

Sarah finds you as you’re opening your car door to leave. She tells you it would feel wrong not to show you. They went through his phone. There are messages he sent to you that remain undelivered.

You blocked him after the break-up. You thought it was the right thing to do, but deep down, it felt more wrong than anything.

Your hand trembles as you hold the phone up to your face. It’s jarring, touching something that big, strong, abrasive, loud Rafe owned and used every day, and now he’s buried yards away from you, nothing but coldness and weakness and stillness. He owns nothing now.

Sharp spikes dig into your heart when you see that he sent you a string of texts the night he died.

i can’t stop thinking about you

i love you and i can make you love me again

come back

or i’ll come to you

please try one more time with me

“Thanks,” you tell Sarah, handing back the phone, when in reality, no part of you feels grateful upon seeing words he tried to say to you but couldn’t. You would have been better off not knowing.

You leave a part of yourself in that cemetery. It died with him. Because Rafe always said you were the only one who loved him and he left this earth thinking you didn’t anymore.

#this prompt is so good #and that song is gutwrenching oof #prepare for nothing but heartache below the cut #blurb #ask #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron and you #rafe cameron and reader #rafe cameron and y/n

[rongzhi]

ok ive taken a deep breath and steeled myself. what do you think of liu yu

I'm going to put this under a cut because I rambled a little, but I wanted to offer my detailed impression :P Rest assured! No tearing to shreds occurred. He remains intact.

Well, I didn’t know who this guy was, so I took myself to the ole Wikipedia and my first thought was wow! Look at those label names.

Second thoughts: Ooh, dancer. I'm looking forward to see how the dancing is (if he still dances).

I have heard of INTO1 but don't watch idol competition shows, but it's impressive that he placed first. I decided to listen to/watch two songs/performances: his first single, 靠岸, from 2019, and his most recent single from 2023, Focus.

靠岸 didn't seemed to have an official video, so I ended up watching a live performance from a show called Mr. Radio.

I was pleasantly surprised by this song! Seeing that he had been on Produce Camp, I was expecting a more pop kind of song, but this was a song I could imagine playing in the OT of a drama (in a good way!). I think his performance was a little shaky here, but I sense that maybe he was nervous? Either way, he seems a little shy here, where this song would really benefit from a powerhouse performance. Idk, maybe it was also a sound mixing issue. I like the song, though. Very pretty. I went to listen to the studio recording and it was a lot better—much closer to what I was hoping to get. The oooooh part sort of reminds me of a Zhou Shen song whose title I can't remember at the moment. It was space themed, though. (EDIT: the song I was thinking about was Cassini)

Next up!! Focus. I watched the Official Music Video on Youtube first.

Coming off 靠岸， I could see from the thumbnail that this song would be closer to the pop sound that I expected, so the things I was interested in seeing was the MV concept and the dancing. On first watch, I didn't really listen to the lyrics much, because there were no captions to read and I can't really tell what people are saying in pop songs anyway.

I have to admit that going into the video with the big gray space only, I thought it was pretty ugly at first. I just think that the CG structure on pale BG concept always looks cheap no matter who does it, though, and Liu Yu seems like a sort of tiny guy, so with all the dancers around him, I initially thought he looked a little swamped by them.

At 0:48 when we got a flash of the all-black cowboy look, again I was a bit disappointed, thinking that there wouldn't be much edge to concepts.

Then we got to the, I'm gonna say, test lab sewer gothic, and I thought "ok, at least that's something". It's definitely be done before but there's more production in that set and look, so at least the whole video isn't just going to be a gray void. The flash of Liu Yu standing in as his own princess was kind of interesting (disappointed this character never showed up in the music video again)

Now I know said I wasn't going to rip him to shreds and that's because....!!! When the beat dropped, I went "ok wait" lol. At 1:03, I witnessed evidence of stage presence and was like "oh we are so back, baby"

Still not a fan of the big pale space, and I think Liu Yu's charisma was most visible in the sewer gothic scenes and weakest in the scenes where he's wearing the silver ice skating outfit looking blouse, but maybe that's just because it distracts you with his little twig body. I personally can't buy into the energy of someone who looks like the most movable object on earth.

3:03 the "yuh" made me laugh tho

MV looks ranked (best to worst):

One thing that I didn't like about the MV (but understand is necessary) was that the video kept cutting right as I thought to myself "Oh, this is a nice bit of dancing", and I wish the shots had been wider on the dance moves instead of cutting him off at the ribs. A wider dance version in the sewer (I know that's not what it was but jhkalfjl) would've been appreciated by me. With that in mind, I decided to see if there was a dance performance video and there was! As suspected, the choreography in the beginning of the song is also just not that strong or compelling to me. It sort of gives intermediate hiphop 2 dance recital. My favorite part of choreo is the breakdown at 2:56.

Anyway, I hope these impressions were sufficient! I didn't check him out on any variety shows so I can't comment much on what I think about his personality, but from a music/performance standpoint, I think he's pretty good. Not really the kind of stuff I listen to anymore but if I still kept up with idols, maybe I'd check him out from time to time :)

#text #answered ask #liu yu

[chubbydumplingbarnes]

GUYSSSSSSSSS

Im looking for this one fic i stumbled upon on tumblr but like it was a link to AO3. PLS NOTE I DONT SHIP GOJO X YUJI BUT IF U ATTACK ME FOR THIS POST YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. NO HATE WILL BE TOLERATED. If u dont ship them but hate on ppl who do , take yourself on a walk cos no one cares. These are fictional characters that we watch for entertainment theres no need to be sensitive.

Anyway it WAS a gojo x yuji fic but i didnt know at the time that it was AND IT WAS THE BEST PIECE OF LITERATURE I'VE EVER LAID MY EYES ON.

I will think abt this fic till the day i die , it has taken a piece of my soul and will forever have it.

It started off with Gojo being unsealed and like before he was sealed him and Yuji was in a secret relationship but when Gojo was unsealed he lost his memories about everything that happened like 2 years prior or like from the time he met Yuji Anyway Yuji runs up to him and hugs him and Gojo like freezes and is like "are you one of the students??" , and Yuji is like absolutely devastated.

Then Yuji spends like the rest of the fic like doing all the things that he used to do for Gojo.

Apparently before he was sealed and when they were together Yuji used to bake his favorite flavored peach cake ( i think ) and now in the present Gojo is like "How did you know???".

But then Gojo decided to be an asshole and kiss Utahime for a reason that i forgot and yuji sees that cos for some reason Gojo called him and told him to meet him at the bridge where he kissed her .

Then like Gojo spends most of his time sleeping and at the end of the fic it was revealed that he slept so much because he used to "dream" abt Yuji but in reality it was just him getting flashbacks frm before he was sealed and their relationship.

He was like "sleep is the only way i got to experience having you" or smth like that. And at the end he got his memories back and all that uk the usual.

But god the way it was written i know for a fact god spent extra time on the author cos theres no damn way.

The fic itself thou was really long and took me like an hour to read through my tears.

Anyway PLEASE HELP ME FIND IT IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT FOR AGES

Oh by the way in this fic i think Gojo was like 2 years older then Yuji so it isnt like a weird age gap type shit.

Ive tried looking in my search history but still nada🙁🙁

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #geto suguru #nanami kento #yuji itadori #megumi fushiguro #gojo x reader #gojo x yuji #ao3 fanfic #daddys home #ryomen sukuna x reader #suguru x reader smut #jjk x reader smut #pls help #im going insane

[umelcom]

.

#watched the one movie that always makes me horribly depressed #ive been in a funk and have had some #personal issues going on #and for some reason my brain decides that the only way to make itself feel better is to just wallow in that feeling #and i watch 'ive been thinking of ending things' #and then i just get idk #weird for a bit #but i cried which is nice because ive been wanting to cry but havent been able to in months #i didnt even cry when i got married #anyway #im fine dont worry about me #just going thru it rn #jenn speaks

[atomicpirateperson]

so I realized that around this time of the year is already past my 1 year anniversary of being hyperfixated on Rob?? time flies

this is the timeline of how it happened according to some vague memories:

1. i happen to see some random video of The Rerun on like, YouTube I think

2. me: hmm i think that one eyed guy is giving some real gender envy– wait. oh no. its happening. he's the new Chosen One, isn't he

3. im not hyperfixated im not hyperfixated im not–

4. I AM SO FUCKING HYPERFIXATED I LOVE ROB FROM TAWOG HE MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME!!!!!!

5. rob is a major part of my life and my headspace now. i couldn't stop if I tried, because some part of my brain views him as an actual close friend, and therefore abandoning this hyperfixation would feel extremely cruel. i would never do that to him and therefore he will be my imaginary bestie/adoptive son forever. i will never grow out of it. i am perfectly okay with that

#its always been gender envy that gets me hyperfixated on a character. like i dont think its ever been anything else lmao #and by his gender i mean the fact hes kinda just a Funky Creature Thing Whose Species We Cannot Quite Identify. that is the gender #this actually might be the longest character hyperfixation ive had so far... he really is the Chosen One #i used to watch this show when i was in elementary school but i didnt have access to every episode #so maybe thats why i have no memory of him from when i was that young? #or maybe seeing him in that video unknowingly gave me deja vu which is another reason why he initially caught my attention? #5 or 6 years later... the irrelevant forgettable side character from that one weird cartoon crawls out of the deep recesses of my brain #and ends up living in my head rent free #for over a year #and he shows no signs of moving out anytime soon #top 5 comebacks of this past decade-and-a-half (my life) #this is so weirdly poetic in a kinda fucked up but also funny way #wow this whole post is basically just me screaming “I HAVE AUTISM” over and over #rob tawog #tawog #the amazing world of gumball #tawog rob #dr wrecker

[pinayelf]

I know fans joke abt how the warden is more competent than the inquisitor bc they did all that w/o much help but the funny thing abt amihan is she actually isn't

she was 20, angry and hated herself and the world, she ended up in the situation she was in bc she was...a petty snitch. she also hates being a grey warden and continues to hate being one through dai - she actually leaves but then decides to search for the cure

for most of the Blight, it was fuck up after fuck up. like I play it so that I have enough ppl to help me fight the archdemon, but in my personal headcanon, she pissed off a lot of potential help (whether it be Circle mages who overheard her saying she was "gonna annul this shit" out of anger, eamon's men who did NOT like her, bhelen who didn't really trust the fact that she knew nothing about politics), left a bad taste in people they came across and picked a fight with anora

which I think makes sense for a 20 year old ill-adjusted young woman who had to learn how to be more selfless. beating the archdemon was pure luck mixed with people just NOT WANTING the Blight to destroy ferelden and realizing joining the fight was the only way to stay alive

amihan does grow, but it's slow, she has to process trauma, understand she hurt people and ruined their lives and to actually experience what it's like being loved (both platonic and romantic)

I tend to not post so much abt how much amihan fucked up and almost let a Blight swallow ferelden bc I tend to feel anxious abt how ppl will receive it but I think it's important to her character and it's fun and interesting for me to play with it in this case

immy is 100% more competent than amihan, in spite of her own flaws, but I love both my messy and my scaredy cat girl all the same

#amihan amell #my first pt of dao was a mess tbh lmao and i messed up so much and amihan's canon is pretty similar #after i fucked up and left amalia possessed ive been thinking abt playing the rest of the game where i'll pick what amihan would actually do #regardless of whether or not thatll end up being a good thing in the long run lmao so watch this space #i also wanna talk abt her friendships w morrigan and zev #god i love morrigan to death but lmaoo i know them being so close they just enabled each other's bad habits #which i think why it was good that morrigan and amihan drifted after dao bc they needed to grow apart #its v important to me that they meet again #zev is extremely important to amihan learning how to be selfless #im sorry to zev tht he had to deal w amihan's bs during a blight 😭😭😭 #also there are companions and other characters that just straight up hate amihan and lol 😭 #anyway just rambling bc i love an incredibly flawed female character and thts what i wanna portray w amihan

[leenfiend]

trying to pay attention at work trying to pay attention at work trying to pay attention at work trying to pa

#this whole ass thing is due end of next week so ... .. . #i have 0 time to stare in the distance #but here i am #does anyone have like ... casual watch in the bg feel good show recs cause im struggling to think of what to turn on #while i do my little tasks #ive been watching danmeshi but im out of episodes so .... #colleen thoughts

[chubbyreaderchan]

Crawfish boil with the Sinclair boys.

Lester pulls up to the house early one morning with all that's needed, it's one of those hot humid days though. Everyone is trying to beat the heat while helping Lester with dinner.

Lester is the best at cooking between the three brothers. Bo is good but not as good as Lester and I just think Vincent doesn't remember to eat but he knows how to make things. Basics.

You would be helping in any way they'd ask. Doesn't matter who you are involved with, crawfish boil has all the Sinclairs which includes you doing something. Lester also probably has some other meats that Bo would take over the grilling of because he likes to play with the fire a bit.

If you aren't familiar with a crawfish boil Lester will excitedly tell you everything he knows and even lets you help him with it. If you are from the north he's trying to "help a Yankee/(or where ever you are from) fit in the South". He doesn't mean anything by it. Just likes to tease you, like families do.

It's like a holiday marathon of cooking for all of you. If you had a recipe you wanted to share they'd encourage you. Vincent might hover around you. Helping in any way that you ask. If he's enamoured with you, he's watching you so closely like he's trying to memorize what you look like in such a normal setting.

Vincent's also a fan of decorating the desserts but he finds frosting is more fiddly than wax is. It's still beautiful but he's never happy with it.

If Bo is going to have you help set up a white picnic table so you can eat outside. He knows you're strong but he still won't let you lift the tables alone. He knows he could easily do it himself but he wants a turn spending time with you and especially if he's with you romantically. He ends up setting it up himself and just talks to you about some bullshit that's on his mind.

It all ends with Bo and Lester putting the food out the classic way. You would be shocked, all three of the Sinclairs can eat. A lot. Even Vincent. They are southern boys who all do hard labor all day, they burn so many calories and they love a good feast.

If you've never had them Bo'll teach you how to eat them. If you are allergic or grossed out of course I think they would make sure you ate and were somewhere far from the food while doing their best to make you feel a part of it.

They'd tell happy stories of their childhood, all of which were when they were far from their parents for the most part. They like your weird stories too and laugh when you do. If you've known them a while Vincent would have his mask off and his hair mostly up.

The night would end with Lester goating you into catching lightning bugs with him. Bo would be chain smoking and Vincent would be watching the antics of his family.

It's a night that makes you forget the horrors these boys can be. They just seem so normal and that's why you'd stay with them. The good times were extremely good.

#someone mentioned that the boys would be good cooks and ive been watching food content all week #and i feel like this is a thing they do in the summer #reader insert #slasher imagines #slashers x reader #sinclair brothers x reader #vincent sinclair x reader #bo Sinclair x reader #x reader #crawfish #i know the allergies thing is sus #but i didnt think about it until the end #thanksgiving would be fun for them too but i think they wouldnt do it until y/n came along

[todayisafridaynight]

whatever og text i had in mind for this post about ko shibasaki looking like sayama in this movie is completely cancelled on account of utsumi (this character)'s first name being kaoru and i only found this out cause i was looking up her name just to be sure when making this post

like jesus christ i legally have to make this post now

#snap chats #they literally never say her first name in the movie. i think lol LIKE WHEN I FOUND OUT I WAS JUST 'NO FUCKING WAY' #i do have to be tbh and say her face /is/ a little more round than sayama's #and its absolutely predominantly because of how her bangs and wardrobe are so close to sayama's that i think she look like her #BUT I CAAAANT THE WHOLE MOVIE I WAS JUST THINKIN ABOUT SAYAMA... i miss her... #OH RIGHT THE MOVIE THOUGH noooo fuck you this movie was so good it actually made me want to write a summary for it LMAOOO #LIKE I LIKE WRITING SUMMARIES BUT IVE JUST BEEN SO LAZY ABOUT IT WITH THE PAST FEW THINGS IVE SEEN BUT GOD. #ignore the fact i finished this movie two hours ago i was too busy fiddling with a card holder kit but. ill make a post about that next-- #THIS MOVIE THOUGH NOOOOO IT WAS SO GOOD //SCREAMS AND YELLS AND DESTROYS A SNOWGLOBE// #god the part where ishigami and yukawa are walking by the homeless and it just lingers on an empty spot.. LIKE I THOUGHT I WAS WACK #CAUSE I WAS LIKE 'hang on wasnt there a guy there last scene' and obviously there was since the shot lingered right #BUUUUTT WHEN IT WAS REVEALED DOWN THE LINE SHUT UPPP I LITERALLY YELLED IM SO GLAD. my roommates arent home.. #on god i thought the movie was gonna end with utsumi and fukawa's convo from the beginning #and i was gonna make a gaf about how fukawa was acting irrationally because he was too in love LMAOOO #BUT THEN IT KEPT GOING AND. im so glad it did. ishigami valid tbh #id also cover up and take blame for AND ACTUALLY commit murder for a girl if she said hi to me and made me lunch while i was trying to kms #while fukawa and ishigami were talkin that first night tho i just thought of after the rain.. lol... maybe the mangaka was inspo'd by that. #anyway. this movie was great. it reminded me of sherlock but if it was directed well and actually let you solve the mystery too #CAUSE WHILE I WAS WATCHING THERE WERE POINTS WHERE I TOO WAS JUST 'hang on' AND I JUST POCKETED THE INFO FOR LATER #i kicked and screamed when ishigami was talking abut how he formats his tests LIKE I SAID 'oh you fucking slipped' #when ishigami called and told her he had a white envelope in there bitch i knew it was gonna be the stalker letter i YELLED #LIKE I LIKE HOW THE MOVIE SETS THINGS UP SO ABUNDANTLY. IT'S FUN SEEING IT FIT IN THE MOVIE LATER ON #the twist of there being two bodies was so fun tho cause at the start of the movie i was sure two murders happened the same night #so when it was played off as just one i was like Oh. Ok. im still stumped on how he snuck a body out of the apartment #but yk what one detail is like. whatever in comparison to the rest of the movie being fun to watch #god im running out of tags POINT IS. PLEAAASE watch this movie if you got two hours #ive left some minor warnings on my Watchlist doc but there's nothing. TOO extreme ?? #i mean there's an aforementioned suicide attempt but aside from that it's nothing too grotesque. for an rgg fan ig #ok bye i have to ramble about the card holder i got <3

[myighlou]

haha maybe one of the primary reasons that harry finally goes to therapy after the game (41st being a busy station, and harry not remembering a single thing, and kim transferring might not help too much with leaving everyone with a ton of free time) is how he realizes how much hes started idolizing kim. his own innocence right in front of him. staring up at him like he did a broken stained glass windown not so long ago. maybe his final push to prioritize getting therapy, not letting this all too familiar feeling take him over again. he might not remember exactly but hes seen what it resulted in first hand, hes experienced it. 

third times the charm, this time it might completely tear both of them down, untill there is nothing left. there is remnants of the previous two times within him and jean and in a bit of everyone around them. harrys bearly starting to connect the dots of his previous life but he knows for certain it would be the last time if he spirals into this obsession again.

(i like to think that a bit after jean and harry met and became partners at 41st, they dated for like a month max. harry was still reacently recovering from the breakup with dora and jean was there as a sort of savior from that. right person wrong time sort of thing ig? then broke up after realizing how fucking bad it was for both of them. maybe they still might be a bit bitter it didnt work out and maybe they still want it to but in the end it was better (not by much) for eveyone like this)

the ending where kim joins 41st (ive only played that one so far and havent watched any of the others yet, but man its been living in my head rent free) is such a catalyst for change within 41st. one of the top detectives from an other station is already going to be such a big help to lessen the stress and workload for the others already there. kims arrival, and harry seeking therapy (hopefully jean too that bitch needs it a shit ton too), it gives the whole station time to breath, to truly catch a break. with a slightly lessened work load on each of the members, they have time to focus on things other then work, to not have to drink themselves into amnesia on the job (*cough cough* harry- but imo jean and the others just as much, theyre more responsible on the job but its hard as fuck on them too, especially with harry pre game) 

within time, lots of time, they can all grow close again, harry can get to know each of them over again and things can not just go back to the way they were but better 

thats what i wanna think anyway, pls just let then be happy oml

anyway thats all i wrote this at 2 am pls dont mind if its fucked lmaoo

#slightly horrified of watching or playing any of the other endings #this is how i keep myself somewhat sane #theyre happy and theyre doing great and are all going to get better and theyre fine and #thinking ab this is the only thing keeping me alive atp after the game #anyway ya #dumping my thoughts into the void at 2am #disco elysium #harrier du bois #harry du bois #kim kitsuragi #jean vicquemare #de #theyre all ive been able to think ab i hate them #ALSO FUCKING DOLORES DEI #been thinking ab her too #inspired by a post i saw a couple days ago thats been just in my brain. it wont leave #ill find it then reblog it after posting this

[loving-jack-kelly]

it is Extremely funny that the whole watcher thing just ended after one weekend of people being like hey this was poorly thought out and a terrible idea. lmao. cringe fail financial decision.

#i think where they ended up makes plenty of sense! it's just an alternative to patreon tho #like i like their content i'll probably still watch ghost files and mystery files and if they bring back their scary stories one #the one with the cool art not the one where they get drunk I don't like that one as much #but i don't care enough to pay 6 bucks a month #they would have just lost me as a viewer entirely lol #also tbf i have adblock and sponsor block on my youtube so I don't see ads or even sponsored sections of videos #so i'm still not really helping them earn money lol #i just feel like they were aiming for something like dropout which works bc a) the number of projects dropout makes #b) the huge cast across all of their shows #and c) a much more established brand even at the time of their shift to streaming #also the fact that dropout puts out multiple episodes of different shows a week lol #and they needed to go more like mythical society from rhett and link #which is pretty much just patreon with enough extra perks that people are extra inclined to buy into it #like with mythical society people who pay more get physical perks like exclusive merch and free items every few months #plus a ton of extra content like bts stuff and extra episodes of certain things #that's what they should do. imo. #anyway. ive been giggling at this all weekend

[kalaidosnail]

When they were 8 years old, Jonathan Sims watched one of their bullies die at the hands of the Leitner known as Mr. Spider. They found themselves unable to share their experience with his grandmother, instead delving into whatever books he could find to soothe their mind. This led them down a path which eventually found them with a small notebook in his hands, scribbling down notes as he scrambled through abandoned buildings, poking Artifacts with sticks. After being saved once or twice by a disgruntled Gertrude Robinson, they continued to investigate, becoming a sort of ward of many of the Avatars of London. He observed the process of skin burning on many afternoons spent with Jude Perry, trembling but ultimately standing still, wide eyed, drinking it all in. They learned how to spin a baton and balance on a tightrope while Nikola Orsinov clapped delightedly at his efforts. Annabelle Cain herself helped him find closure and peace after they confided in her what had happened with the Leitner. Many others would ask after his well-being, sending them birthday gifts and dropping by with treats the one time they became sick with the flu. Gertrude, reluctant as she was to let a child be claimed by a Fear, helped him forge a connection to the Eye, and taught them how to hide from James Wright, then from Elias Bouchard. Now, they have found a position as her replacement, the Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute. 

   How will they manage to handle their grief for Gertrude, evade Bouchard’s schemes, diffuse political tensions between the Avatars, and wrangle their trio of disconcertingly attractive and devastatingly mischievous assistants? 

Well, for once in his life, he really just doesn’t Know. Should be interesting, at least.

--

In other words, I've decided to do a chatfic. Kinda. Jon knows how to use a phone, that's it that's the premise.

#polyarchives #tma #jonathan sims #the magnus archives #also im titleing it using tom cardys mixed messages #also i dont care if this doesnt make sense fuck you theyre friends #but also #crack treated seriously is my favorite genre #this is so serious #rip to anyone who knows anything about any other wip ive alluded to or said i would work on #but #ive been having a Day alright #my brain tends to take on the thinking that fits whatever im reading or watching #and ive been watching hannibal while reading john dies at the end #so go ahead and imagine the gorey cannaballistic completely detached from real life circumstance hellscape my brain looks like right now #dunk that in glowstick fluid #then tell it to fight for its life with the nails on its hands and the teeth in its mouth #and leave it alone in a house for three days with a grade determining paper due in a few days #also another thing is going on but yall dont need to hear about that #im not sorry #psa if a teacher asks if you want to do a competition to demonstrate natural selection #they probably dont intend for you to fight your classmates hand to hand no holds barred #and you should not begin mentally preparing to keep getting back up no matter how much it hurts #but i did a great job at fishing for junk food with a makeshift lasso made of old coats and i have a pack of doublestuff oreos now #and its all mine #so get fucked kyle

[orcelito]

I'm on ep5 of LOK and remembering why I have never gotten past the first season of this show. The love triangle shit is driving me INSANE in the worst of ways. It feels like fucking high school drama.

I will stick it out... because I have heard the show gets better... and also the promise of endgame Korra and Asami.... I will stick it out this time....!!!!

But God. It's so annoying 😭😭😭😭

#speculation nation #i will stay strong. i WILL... i will.... #the thing is like. atla always had the romance subplots & some jealousy plots. but it was like #they had bigger fish to fry. at the end of the day the romance was never the prime focus #bc they were fighting a War! and they were younger than the LOK team too #it never felt so heavy-handed in atla. in LOK it just feels so Forced.... #doesnt help that im like. man Bolin really would be better for Korra than Mako. #stop paying attention to a wishy washy guy who wont even pay 100% attention to his own girlfriend (who's not you!!!!!) #i rly do like Bolin and Korra's interactions. but also the way the writing is pushing Bolin's crush on her kinda sucks #bc i think theyd be best as bros. genuinely. #and i Know we get the f/f ending but god DAMN im still. ugh ugh ugh. what a time. #also barely relevant but who was the lady Tenzin was seeing before his wife. im so curious #this man is so stiff howd he get TWO women falling for him like that??! #ALSO... the fact that ep 4 is so heavy on the fear and seriousness. then ep 5 is just like. oh no! love triangles! #hfkshfksd ive been enjoying some of the show but rn i am so annoyed by it hfkshfkd #i will stay strong... i will... it will be worth it to stick it out....... I Will...!!!! #fanny watches lok

[crescentfool]

recently, i’ve been thinking about what a 100% social link/confidant run is like from the perspective of the persona protagonists, rather than the player. i’ve always been a sucker for thinking about the type of narrative created by a person’s gameplay choices (it can be so fun and deep) so!! i wrote this analysis / musing.

some notes before we start: this was written with the lens of persona 3 being the most recent game i played- but the concepts are applicable to the p4/p5 protagonists as well! no spoilers for any of the games are mentioned; this is moreso a general discussion of ludonarrative dissonance with the game mechanics and narrative and how it makes for fun angst (ft. personal interpretation).

(more under the cut!)

the framework: game mechanics

in all of the games, the social link system’s existence coincides with the social stats mechanic. certain social links require a specific set of stats in order to initiate it, or surpass a certain rank. each game has around 20 of these- each of which represent the major arcana (+ some bonuses, e.g. aeon / jester / faith / councilor).

for any players going for a 100% social link run, this basically requires each social stat to be maxed out. anyone who’s followed a guide for a 100% run would know that the beginning of the game tends to be very “strict” with how time can be used, most of which involves getting the stats raised  as soon as possible.

outside of characterization and worldbuilding, completing social links are incentivized for a variety of gameplay reasons. so how could this completionist play style affect the protagonists?

prioritizing social stats over everything else: a general view

regardless of which protagonist you want to put under a petri dish, with a 100% run, you’re essentially asking the protagonist to form amicable bonds with 20 or so people, give or take. granted, not everyone becomes adjoined to the hip to the protagonist.

personally, i feel that forming 20 different bonds over the course of a year would be rather strenuous. during these 100% runs, the protagonists may feel that they’re spreading themselves thin trying to dedicate their resources to multiple different people as well as raising their “social stats.” i find the implications that this has on said bonds is so, utterly fascinating.

while this isn’t reflected in the game and would be better represented within a fic, i find it difficult to believe that this type of behavior doesn’t have any ramifications on the quality of the protagonist’s closer relationships (or their self-image, for that matter).

just… imagine calling one of your close friends but then they consistently give responses along the lines of “lmao sorry i’m busy doing other things,” and they rarely make the time of day for you. how would you feel? gameplay-wise, this deterioration of the relationship is best represented in persona 3 with social links reversing if you haven’t spent time with them in awhile.

part of my fascination with this concept is influenced by my own experiences. trying to maintain so many relationships can be difficult to keep up with and it quickly gets overwhelming (see dunbar’s number for more information). jumping between so many people also makes it difficult to focus on a few relationships meaningfully- meaning that relationships may be limited to being simple pleasantries. even then, ‘successfully’ keeping every relationship satisfying comes at the cost of being unable to pursue your own development and interests.

overall, i think that trying to do so many things ends up lowering the quality of the relationship(s) involved, especially when you also consider the fatigue from going to school as well as fighting shadows.

playing the therapist friend / listening role: a general view

another aspect of the 100% run that i think about is how the protagonists rarely open up to other people. a good chunk of SLs follow a storyline of the protagonist acting as a therapist friend/helping the other person through one central issue. some SLs are an exception to this and have a more casual “we’re just hanging out vibe.”

basically, SLs tend to be weighted toward the other character’s growth, moreso than the protagonist’s (which is handled by the main story). that said, the idea of mostly playing a listening role across most of your relationships and not having many that you feel comfortable to speak freely about your own stuff… feels really unbalanced and unhealthy?

i do think that part of the lack of “input” can be attributed to the silent-protagonist approach taken in the games (which is a whole ‘nother topic). but!! i find that each protagonist’s options, while limited, are fun to think about! some of the traits and interpretations i’ve seen for the differing protags, to name a few, include:

being afraid to open up / get attached and keeping people at arm’s distance as a result

needing to be around other people, even if it’s just listening them, to distract from their own struggles / pretend nothing’s wrong with them

enjoying helping others, being a good and careful listener who can provide an appropriate and helpful response

the willingness to prioritize others over themselves; a lack of self-preservation

compulsive people pleasing

at its worst, the lack of “protagonist talking” or equal reciprocation in response could be misinterpreted by the other person as disinterest (like they’re talking to a wall). alternatively- the lack of “personal tidbits” could be taken as, “you don’t trust me enough to be able to open up, huh.” and i just think that seeing this in a fic would be the biggest shitshow ever (and i would read that).

concluding thoughts:

overall, i feel that the protagonists taking a predominantly listening approach to several relationships at once can lead to compassion fatigue and general burnout. the protagonists are rarely at the receiving end of being listened to and/or having their issues worked through… and that’s kind of sad?

while the 100% social link run can provide great power to any persona fusions (and other cool battle abilities + hijinks)... i ultimately think that there’d be a lot of mental strain that would make achieving this much more difficult when you take a narrative-emphasized approach.

i do realize that it is possible to see the general vibe of this post as “100% social link is bad,” but like… there’s something i find really appealing about the messiness of attempting to manage so many relations at once- only to fall short in several of them and attempting to salvage the last bits of their sanity. when you think about the complications of the 100% SL run from the shoes of the protagonist… yeah!! that’s the good shit!

anyways! if anyone knows of any fics with this kinda vibe for the p3/4/5 protags… feel free to drop it in my askbox… i like them all VERY much :3c… and if this raised any food for thought- i’d be equally honored! let the protags go through shit i wanna see their emotions and coping mechanisms damn it! 👏

#persona 3 #persona 4 #persona 5 #yes it is 3am and im posting this. i couldn't sleep so i wanted to write something that i've been thinking abt as of late :x #highly recommend looking up ludonarrative dissonance btw! if ur interested in game storywriting its SOO interesting bc its definitely- #an occurence that happens every now and then in a video game. persona included. like.. when game mechanics tell one story but the narrative #-ends up contradicting that (or some other thing in reality ends up doing that...). does that even make sense?? #i tried to keep this post general to p3/4/5 but if you know me well enough you'll see how my p3 bias has shaped this post. lmao #i also could go on a tangent about how i feel about orpheus telos as a thing w/rt p3 social links BUT I WONT. unless...? #i have more i want to say on the topic (maybe will do so at a later time) but feel free to ask for more specific hcs with the protags? #maybe not p4kun though just bc ive only watched p4 so i havent had the time to let it sit btwn play sessions #anyway bye im just going to let this float in the void while i sleep. have a good day #meta #hc and au nonsense #lizzy speaks

[imorphemi]

eyyy incorrect quote times with Grian and Pearl!

I know a lot of people lorewise like to separate Grian and Pearl and make them not meet up until hermitcraft s8 rolls around, but the amount of times Grian talks about her helping him in that period just doesn’t work well with that imo haha

#my art #arts #pearlescentmoon #grian #evo smp #i really dont think grian has such a horrible relationship with the watchers #i mean ive only watched pearls side but #the end poem after the dragon fight heavily suggests that hes in pretty good relations #at least for that time being #and there has been no evo lore from grian after that #at least as far as i know #so in my i guess lore history of events #pearl kept in contact with grian for the whole time and was just #a little bit annoyed that he didnt tell her he was leaving #the watchers were eh not evil but sorta there at worst and chaotic at best #yeah i kindof just wanna be vague with things around evo #because ive only watched pearls eps #and im not planning on watching grians #or anyone elses for that matter #so i really dont want to create lore from what i dont know #from what ive seen a good amount of fanon has no canon basis #and usually im not too fond of that #anyways thanks for reading lol