Tumgik
#i have more i want to say on the topic (maybe will do so at a later time) but feel free to ask for more specific hcs with the protags?
Text
say you can't sleep, m | myg
... baby, I know that's that me – espresso by sabrina carpenter
pairing(s): yoongi x reader
summary: Snapshots of a love story centered around coffee and soft skin, heh, isn't that just so suga sweet? Mmmm, I guess so.
warnings: rated M (18+) for language; fluff they're cute as fuck; smut (fem reader, fingering + f-receiving oral at work, gasp, doggy, m-receiving oral in a bedroom, whew, penetrative sex); non-idol!BTS – Yoongi's POV except final scene in your POV
--
“You don’t like coffee.”
She handed him the iced Americano with an enigmatic expression.
“But I like you.”
Then she walked away.
-
“Oh? I didn’t expect to see you here.”
He looked up from his lonesome table, fully intending to tell the person to fuck off. It was too late and too dark and too restless for him to even think about socializing. He lifted his head and found himself speechless for several seconds. An enigmatic expression paired with a tight black dress. He took another sip of his whiskey to avoid making the pause awkward.
He caught a whiff of a heavy, rich, coffee-scented perfume.
Then he shrugged.
“Can’t sleep.”
She smiled.
-
“You know her?”
She sat a few tables away, wrapped in a tight black dress. A soft white knitted cardigan draped over her shoulders. Demure with a hint of sex. He recognized those black high heels with gunmetal buckles. They had been tossed carelessly by his door last night. He watched her hands dance in the air with her conversation. The man sitting in front of her seemed mildly interested. Black t-shirt, silver bracelets, faded blue jeans. She rolled her eyes and her lunch companion looked similarly annoyed, shaking his head of straight, long black hair. The waiter went by their table, carrying the handheld kiosk.
She tapped her credit card, already prepared.
The young man whipped his hands out in a what-the-fuck motion.
She shrugged.
Her black velvet purse was tucked in her lap, right above her plush thighs that had been wrapped around his neck last night.
“Better than you do,” he replied, and didn’t elaborate.
-
“I didn’t know you knew him.”
She gave him a confused look.
“Why wouldn’t I know my younger brother?”
Oh.
She handed him the iced Americano with a sly smile.
“But I’ll let him know that you were jealous.”
Fuck.
-
“You don’t have to.”
She took his hand and wrapped it around the cold drink, leaving him with a handful of condensation and consideration.
“I want to.”
She was about to let go but his other hand shot up, enclosing the back of hers. He watched her almost hide the way her breath caught. Her eyes shifted. Those parted lips were picture perfect softness that inspired wet dreams. Her skin was even more perfect up close and in the light. A tick of her eyebrow. He didn’t back down.
“Meet me in front of the café at seven tonight.”
She didn’t hesitate.
“Okay.”
-
Date after date, she wore the same perfume and the same enigmatic smile. Night after night, he stared up at the ceiling, wondering what the fuck he was doing. Day after day, he looked forward to her occasional treat in the form of ice coffee. He admired her audacity to let everyone talk. Both of them deflected the topic when anyone asked. No sense in entertaining unsolicited opinions.
In bed, he closed his eyes and breathed in, remembering the way her soft skin smelled against him.
He was addicted to her perfume.
Then again, he already had a coffee problem so maybe it was all in his head.
-
From across the room, she smiled at him.
He acknowledged her with a nod, sticking his hands in his pockets so they wouldn’t shake.
The eye contact lingered for a moment linger before she turned and walked out the door.
After about ten minutes, he made up some excuse and left too.
-
He kissed the inside of her thigh and looked up.
Her knuckle was against her teeth, biting down lightly, calmly giving him an expression of apprehension and boldness. He cocked his head. She shrugged with one shoulder. He bunched her skirt around her waist.
And stared into her eyes as he licked upwards.
Hot, heavy, and with possessiveness.
She melted against the wall. Lashes fluttering, shivering under him, no sound. Probably because of where they were. The mischief in her eyes glimmered. Her perfect lips formed words both silent and damning.
Keep going.
To be perfectly clear he did not give a fuck about rules, but also he liked his job and didn’t want to get himself fired. Yet. He skimmed his lips over her soft skin and figured that at least it would be a cool story, letting his fingers sink into her shapely hips, toying with the hem of her panties with his thumbs. Her free hand wandered down to hold up her skirt. Helpful. He closed his eyes. Tongue, lips, teeth travelling up in a zig-zag from thigh to thigh. Her coffee-scented perfume faded as the scent of sweet sex prevailed, his index finger skimming over the heat, following the forbidden line.
Absolute silence.
But beneath his lips, her body was singing. Vibrating with pleasure. Pressing her shoulder blades against the wall, rolling her hips towards him. He opened his eyes to see hers under lidded lashes. Slid his finger under, down, the back of his nail drenched, and he pulled it aside, watching her sensual mouth form his name.
He closed his lips around the top and sank two fingers into her pussy.
Fuck, she tasted so good.
The shudder took over him before he could stop it. Delightful shivers as he watched her watch him when he cupped his tongue around her clit. Circling it gently. Coaxing. Slow and steady, admiring the way her slick walls closed in around his fingers. Thrusting deeper. He spread his knees more, wincing as he felt his hardening erection strain against even his loose jeans. She kept her hips still, melting into his momentum, looking hot as hell fully dressed with his mouth as her new accessory. He spied the curl of her pink tongue against the side of her lips. His fingers involuntarily twitched, digging his blunt nails into her thigh. Tongue against nerves. The steady climb to the heavenly high. Quiet breathing becoming labored, his cock aching at the image and taste of sweet evidence.
Her arousal dripping down his throat.
She came to his tongue, pressing the crown of her head against the wall and silently gasping to the ceiling.
No one found out.
At least, Human Resources didn’t let him know they did.
-
He spent a little more time checking out his outfit before leaving his apartment. Bomber jacket, loose shirt, slightly less torn jeans, and his nicest bag, a black leather messenger. Debated on a beanie. Decided against it and took a moment to tie his hair back into a low ponytail. The front pieces were too short to be tied back. He adjusted them in the mirror and out the door he went. Subway and then a short walk. He visited the usual spot, a café by the office, and she was already in line. The cashier seemed to have taken a liking to her, trying to keep her for a few lines of conversation. She either didn’t notice or didn’t care, courteously stepping out of line after she paid and waiting to the side for her order.
He contemplated walking up to her.
This was the first time he had been this early. He was not and never would be a morning person. A lot of the time he had to settle for the shitty coffee from the machine in the break room. He preferred an expert’s hand though, so he did his best to drag himself out of bed to get in line. Big chains had apps to order-and-go, but this was a mom-and-pop store that didn’t have the money for such technology. Honestly, now he was glad about that. A rare occurrence of the universe being on his side.
His gaze must have remained for too long because she looked up from her phone and her head turned, spotting him immediately.
He let his eyes linger when hers did.
A glimmer in her eye. Must be the morning sun. She raised her hand and beckoned him to her.
He stepped out of line and walked up to her.
“I can buy my own coffee, you know.”
The café smelled like stale morning coffee and yet somehow she smelled even better.
“Just let me do this one thing for you, hm?” she smiled.
He didn’t trust himself to respond. Instead, he stood next to her and stuck his hands in his pockets. He noticed several people looking her way but they all quickly reoriented their wandering eyes. It had to have something to do with the way her long black skirt clung to her hips or her courage of wearing a maroon faux fur cropped jacket out in public. Or maybe it was the way her tight black turtleneck clung to her chest.
“You can go on ahead. I’ll drop off the drink for you.”
He half-considered it. Maybe even take a moment to make it obvious for everyone.
Still, he didn’t want to leave.
“I’m still waking up,” he offered as his reply.
They weren’t looking at each other but he was highly aware of her presence next to him. He didn’t sense any discomfort. The café was getting packed. She scooted closer to him as a couple more people moved into the waiting section.
The barista called out her name.
She glided up to the counter. He watched her go, pit-a-pat beating in his chest. Admired every line, the way her hips swayed, the way stray rays of the sunrise made her hair glow. Watched her turn around in slow-motion mental cinema, raising her head, their eyes connecting, the corner of her lips rising when she saw him waiting for her.
She held out the iced Americano.
“Careful, someone might think we’re an item.”
He reached out and let his fingers graze her wrist.
“I think someone already does.”
He was talking about himself but he didn’t miss the pleasure in her eyes when the exchange happened.
-
She was a menace every time.
“I’m going to make sure you’ll need caffeine tomorrow,” she mused out loud.
He raised an eyebrow.
“And how are you going to do that?”
He somewhat regretted asking that.
-
The room was pitch black.
“You still up?”
The presence beside him shifted, facing him, but he wouldn’t be able to see even if he opened his eyes. He didn’t need to though. He knew the way the blanket draped over her arm, exposing the corner of her shoulder, her hair cascading over her neck covered in his invisible kisses and light bites. Her arm over her breasts as she adjusted her hand just under the pillow. The blanket dipped a bit further down the bed, then rose up sharply at her hips.
“Sorry if I seem restless,” she whispered. “I have insomnia sometimes.”
He had offered before, but she hadn’t accepted until tonight. He wasn’t sure what had made her change her mind.
“Me too,” he confessed. “I take a long time to fall asleep.”
Her voice was feathery and soft. Not pitched to act younger or be more appealing. True to who she was and where she was in her life. Her coffee-scented perfume reflected that as well. Dark and smokey and acidic. Full-bodied in every sense of the word. He heard amusement in her soothing voice as she spoke.
“That’s a very polite way of admitting that you’re nervous of the pretty girl in your bed being a closeted psychopath and smothering you in your sleep before taking all of your valuables and skipping town.”
He smiled.
“Don’t worry, I know all pretty girls are psychopaths.”
She laughed. “Won’t fall for my tricks then, hm?”
“I might if you actually tried some of yours on me.”
There was a pause in her breathing. A single flutter of butterfly wings, so slight he almost thought he imagined it.
“You think so?”
He kept telling himself he wouldn’t, but deep down he knew he would.
“Yeah,” he murmured, noncommittal.
There was a pungent silence.
Then he felt her warmth closer. Closer. Warm exhale tickling his shoulder. Her hand settled on his arm. A whirlwind of thoughts. He had always thought, oh, it would be annoying. It would be heedlessly complicated. It would die out quick. And, ultimately, it would be fleeting and unfulfilling.
Like a shooting star during a meteor shower.
“You’re something else, Min Yoongi.”
Meaningless was it was, he found himself making a wish as the weight of sleep swept him away.
-
Of course, he was scared.
Of course, he wasn’t going to acknowledge it or show it. People were fickle, complicated creatures that spent lifetimes trying to explain themselves to no avail. He was one of them. He had long ago accepted that he was part of the problem. Likewise, he accepted that he would never understand. He wasn’t about to encroach on the millennia of human philosophy and twist his brain trying to make sense of it all.
“I should leave.”
Best he could do was write some songs about it.
“Sit,” he commanded in his most inviting tone.
Better not to think about it too much.
He looked away from the stove for a moment to see the unsure shift of her eyes and the hesitation of her parted lips. “I wouldn’t want to intrude.” She lifted her gaze.
He held it, but only for a second.
Any longer would have been too telling.
He turned back to the pan and replied with, “You cannot possibly think I’m that rude to kick you out before breakfast. Sit.”
Thinking about it too much would ruin it, anyway. It would make it less true. Convoluted. Muddled by past experiences and endless doubts. He refused to let that happen. He lifted the frying pan, tipping the fried egg onto the freshly made white rice. Set the pan down. Turned around with the bowl in hand, setting it on the counter in front of the barstool next to a small plate of his mother’s kimchi. He saw her hesitate once more. Maybe it was his imagination, or was that a flush of pink at the tops of her cheeks? He pulled out a drawer and added a pair of chopsticks by the bowl. Didn’t take his eyes off her movements.
She reached out and pulled out the barstool, sliding onto the brown leather.
Bowed her head to hide her smile.
“Thanks for the food.”
Yoongi silently let out the breath he had been holding.
-
Just before she walked out his door, she leaned in and kissed him.
She drew back.
“See you.”
He stepped forward and pulled her into a longer kiss.
“See you,” he breathed, missing her already.
-
He couldn’t look at he when she smiled.
Even as the corner of his mouth lifted and his teeth sank into the side of his lower lip.
Dark, smokey, acidic.
Her perfume was so familiar now. It settled into his palette, embellishing the dreamlike image. His hands rested on her waist, fingertips drumming against soft skin. Her fingers danced up his sternum and her lips hovered by his. Breath to breath. Her other palm on his chest. Hips to hips. The moment lingered. Almost to the point of discomfort, and then she leaned in and pressed her lips to his.
He wondered if he tasted like coffee.
The kiss melted into him. Warmth rushed all over his body. He should be used to it and yet he fell back under her spell. Under her kisses over his face and neck, under her insistent touch. He dug his nails into her back. She matched him, but harder, rougher, her tongue slipping into his moaning mouth as she scratched him up. Perhaps it was a perverted satisfaction but he rather enjoyed knowing that his pale skin would be marred in pink lines of passion. He didn’t want to be precious about it.
She straddled him and pressed her panties into his erection.
He griped her waist and kissed her harder.
-
He enjoyed it when she slipped her arm in his as they walked side by side. He enjoyed watching passerby glance at them with envy, especially when her head leaned against his shoulder. He enjoyed it when she tugged him to her and caught his lips possessively. He didn’t know when he stopped hiding the smile he had when around her. He didn’t know when he stopped wanting to be alone in his free time and instead wanted to fill it with her coffee-scented perfume. He used to work late all the time because there was nothing better to do, but lately there was a better reason to ditch his responsibilities.
It was careless but such was life.
Heh.
He loved to watch her face, and yet there was something about watching her back arch and her fingers curl into the sheets. Something about his hands gripping her hips and driving himself deeper. Something about the image of her ass and thighs bouncing with each forceful smack of body-to-body contact. Just something about it. Tight, wet, hot, closing his eyes and tipping his head back, dragging his nails down her spine, feeling her match his pace. He enjoyed fucking as much as the next guy. This was simply different.
Something about her, maybe.
She threw her head back, her visceral sounds music to his ears, pleasure incarnate, and he could feel each wave threaten to drag him under, into the permanent honeymoon haze. He let it take him, gasping, surrendering, wanting it again already. She moaned with him, clutching his pillows into a jumbled mess.
Fuck, so good.
One shared look.
To be honest, he was proud of the number of used condoms that piled up.
-
“A candle?”
She lifted the heavy glass lid and inhaled. Her eyes widened, sparkling with recognition and delight.
He stated the obvious. “It’s coffee-scented.”
“I love the scent of coffee,” she murmured. He already knew that. “You remember.”
He half-smiled. “Isn’t that your excuse for always getting me one? You like the scent but you don’t drink it?” He couldn’t help but tease.
She gave him a mischievous smirk. “Trying to throw me off your scent? It won’t work.”
He sure as fuck hoped it didn’t. “I’m trying to convince you to stop buying those expensive iced Americanos for me. I’m trying to cut down for my health.”
She frowned. But he shook his head, trying to dissipate any misunderstanding.
“Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t come up with the idea. My doctor did.”
Her gaze narrowed, unconvinced.
He shoved his hands back into his pockets so they would stop shaking. There was no bag or awkward gift wrapping for him to hold on to. It wasn’t his style, but he somewhat regretted it now. He tiled his head, relaxing his face despite the thunder within his ribcage.
“What?”
She replaced the lid of the candle. Her thumb ran across the embossed characters on the paper label. Capitalism had burned a hole in his wallet. He didn’t mind though. She held it close to her chest.
“This is an expensive brand. I’ve seen it at higher end stores.”
He was delighted that she knew. The cheaper brands had smelled far too fake and far too sweet. He wanted that rich bitterness. Dark and smokey and acidic. A scent that reminded him of them. She watched him carefully. He shrugged.
“You get what you pay for.” Chuckled, raising an eyebrow slightly. “Fair, once I considered the culmination of the price of all those coffees. And, anyway, I only wanted you to know that you don’t have to pay a price for my attention. You’ve had it all this time.”
Her eyes widened a bit.
He shifted his weight, about to walk past.
At the last second, he turned his head, pausing to whisper in her ear.
“But don’t think about buying anyone else a coffee, alright?”
Before he could make his escape, her eyes were already locked onto his, her lips centimeters from his.
“Wouldn’t dream of it, Min Yoongi.”
-
“What?”
She grinned. Their hands interlocked. Holding tight, even though his back was flat against her bed. Her body hovered over his. She lowered, slowly. He sucked in a breath as he felt her hard nipples brush against his chest.
“You like that?” she teased.
He stared into her eyes, melting into her mischief. “Yeah.”
She pressed her soft breasts flush against him, rubbing back and forth. He closed his eyes, shuddering, her name in his throat. His other hand migrated to her waist and he squeezed her, wanting her to know his desire. Her coffee-scented perfume stuck to his skin, bitter and sweet and addictive, a guilty pleasure he didn’t feel guilty about.
His doctor had advised him to cut back on coffee and alcohol, his other guilty pleasures, so naturally he found himself tangled up in another.
Heh.
His fingers slid up, up, tangling in her hair, pulling her face to his. There was a split second where their eye lines connected under their lashes, and he froze up. She stared back. Centimeters of trembling air between their lips. His entire body could barely contain the want and yet. It wasn’t the first time they had been this close. Far from it.
But this was the first time Yoongi realized he would move heaven and earth for those eyes.
He squeezed her hand.
She squeezed back and closed the distance between them, her eyelids falling. His too, and he realized there was sex and then there was this. This, the goosebumps that erupted over his skin when her fingertips glided down his arm. This, the chain of kisses leaving him in a daze. This, the delicate shock of her lips travelling down his chest. This, the pit-a-pat and pang of something so dirty being so pure. Her mouth enveloped him and coated his cock with a thin layer of velvety saliva. Back and forth, so soft, just right, building a lovely desperation that he savored. Tighter, and he gasped, marveling at the suffocating gentleness that made him painfully hard. Pace so steady it was nearly maddening, his fingers twisting in the sheets, and he sucked in another breath, the air saturated with her scent, hitting the apex and at the same time falling so fully that he couldn’t hide it anymore.
She kept him hard, knowing the precise amount of softness and insistence. He didn’t need to say anything. She thought about him the same way he thought about her. Her hands fanned over his hips, extending the pleasure of orgasm. His exhale a shudder. Their eyes connected again.
He beckoned her back up, breathlessly.
She obeyed. Skin to skin. His fingertips touched her chin, conducting her movement.
He could taste himself in their kiss.
“You like that?” he whispered to her lips.
She smiled against his. “Yeah.”
One torn-open condom wrapper later, and there was nothing better than her legs wrapping around his waist once he was completely inside. Shivering breath, his fingertips grazing over her collarbones, and he was well aware of his own black hair tangled over his eyes. She looked up at with admiration and satisfaction, tightening around him.
“You should come over to mine tomorrow night. Spend the weekend with me,” he found himself saying.
Her expression amused. “Wouldn’t want to get you in trouble with your landlord.”
He pushed his hair back, cleaning his vision.
“Let that be my problem.”
Her eyes sparkled.
“I’ll think about it.”
Seemed like she already had though.
Slow and tense, leaning down. Deeper. Her legs sliding up, tighter. Each breath drawn in hotter, keeping their electric eye contact, and he lifted one of his hands to wrap around her wrist. She watched him, intrigued. He thrust downwards and she squeezed him all around, meeting his pace, their eyes closing, succumbing to the honeymoon haze in harmony, their wanton sounds melding together like sugar into coffee. Harder. Rougher. Her name falling from his lips and his from hers. His grip on her wrist slipped.
Their fingers interlocked.
He kept the high coming, over and over.
-
The room was pitch black.
“Can’t sleep?”
He stretched his arm over his head. His body was still running hot.
“Don’t want to.”
She hummed. “Why’s that?”
He should sleep but that would tear him out of this dream. “Pretty girl giving me insomnia.”
“Damn. Wish I could help,” she chuckled, curling up against his side.
He hadn’t known it when she walked into his life, light glimmering off her hair and adorned with a sweet smile. Day by day, catching himself watching her walk past. He admired the confident way she held herself, the assuredness in her stride, the sharpness of her wit. Then one day, the morning after a particularly restless night, she had walked right up to him, an iced Americano in hand. She had known his preference. Could have been observation or asking around. Or both. Didn’t matter, as it was clear she took the time and noticed his lingering gaze.
“Why me?”
Her soft cheek against his shoulder.
“You know why.”
He did but he still wanted to make sure. “You weren’t scared?”
She took a moment to recall. “Worst thing you can say is no. You didn’t.”
He turned his head. She scooted up, and now they were looking at each other in the darkness. He couldn’t see shit, but he had already memorized her face in moments, in snapshots of closeness, into dreams he couldn’t help but believe in. She brought her face closer and their lips found each other with him meeting her halfway.
He pulled her closer.
Yoongi had always believed, oh, love would be annoying. Love would be heedlessly complicated. Love would die out quick and, ultimately, be fleeting and unfulfilling, like a shooting star during a meteor shower. And maybe it was all that.
But he could also be wrong.
Kiss after kiss, falling stars in the darkness, and he couldn’t help but believe in wishes.
Maybe he was just too far gone. Too under her spell to be logical anymore. Her leg slid over his hip, their bodies seamlessly against each other and her hand cradled his face, breathing in his air. Her perfume still lingered, dark and smokey and reminding him of how this love started, or perhaps it had rubbed off onto his skin in their passion. He didn’t mind. In fact, he preferred it.
“Don’t think about anyone else, alright?” she whispered.
His hand settled around her waist.
His lips touched her nose. Lightly, endearingly. Didn’t she know? She must. Maybe she wanted to hear it from his lips. He didn’t know the romantic thing to say. He was terrible at that. Always was, always would be. Then again, she had already given him the answer.
He smiled.
“Wouldn’t dream of it, darling.”
-
“Iced Americano. The largest size, please.”
The barista smiled sheepishly. “Busy day?”
You tilted your head, a stray strand of hair curling around your curved lips.
“My darling needs it.”
--
masterpost
215 notes · View notes
ravens-two · 20 hours
Text
Tumblr media
PAC: Your Next Romantic Relationship
This reading includes:
the person you'll be dating next
The extended reading includes:
when and how you'll meet this person
what the relationship will be like
any 18+ messages
Disclaimer: this is just for entertainment purposes, and as a pick-a-card reading it may not resonate for everyone. Also, this content is 18+ only!
TIPS | BOOK A READING WITH ME | PATREON | LINKTREE | SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC
Tumblr media
Pile 1
Who are you dating next
Eight of Cups, Moon, Tarragon - Regeneration
The first thing I'm getting for this person is that they could be a scientist or work in research, maybe even as a teacher. They seem like really deep thinkers and people who are very well-read or that tend to read a lot. Besides spending a lot of time and energy on their work - that seems to be their passion - they also look like they really enjoy traveling. Some of them may have to travel for work (and now I'm seeing that some are archeologists or something like that), but most seem to travel for pleasure. No matter what your next person is someone who has travelled a lot and has seen a lot of the world - and even if they haven't travelled "that much" it could be that you haven't travelled much at all so that's why it seems so much.
Your person is also a very deep thinker. I'm getting something very specific about them which is that they like to get to the depth of any subject. Let's say that you're talking about your favourite dishes, your person wants to get to the bottom of the subject, they want to analyze why you love those dishes, the memories you have of them, how hard or easy they are to cook, then they may get into the culinary arts in general or the history of food or something like that. Do you know what I mean? Once you start talking about something with them it's like they unravel the subject as if it were a ball of yarn.
Your person seems to be an introvert. They don't really like crowds and tend not to go out or party too much, they prefer to keep to their friend group or to small groups in general. I feel that this is also related to how much and how deeply they like to talk, it's better suited for smaller groups. For some of you it might also surprise you that this person is more spiritual than you thought. They might not practice anything in particular (including religion), but they very much believe in something bigger than them and are very open to the spiritual side of things. This is also someone who has been through a lot and has had to reinvent themselves multiple times. I feel like your person is very wise and has a lot of life experience specifically because of this - they've just been through so much shit that would have broken down any other person.
When it comes to their appearance I'm seeing pale skin - and depending on skin tone you can even see their veins - and dark hair. Mostly black and brown hair, but I'm also seeing red (dyed I think).  In general, they seem to be taller and leaner. Even for the men they don't like they are very muscled. I'm also seeing that some of them have dark circles under their eyes. So what I just heard was that they "look a bit like a fucked up Tim Burton character come to life" lol. I do think that they are good-looking but in that Timothée Chalamet type of way. Also, I think that your person has huge eyes!
check out the extended reading on patreon
Pile 2
Who are you dating next
Three of Wands, Strength, Marigold - Positivity
The first thing I'm seeing for this pile is tanned skin and defined muscles. Your person looks like they spend the whole day under the sun. I'm literally seeing them wet as if they had just come out of water. An interesting detail I just got is that they have body hair, especially for the men they seem to have hair on their chest and tights. I feel like for most of you this person has really dark eyes, the lightest color I can see here is a darker shade of hazel eyes. No matter what they have warm and very expressive eyes. It's the type of eyes that you feel safe just looking at them, honestly.
Speaking of warmth and safety I think that your person just radiates those vibes, especially if they're a man. They seem/are someone who's reliable and handy, basically someone who you can call at any time of day or night and you know that they'll find some way to help you. They also seem the type of person who really cares about the safety of your friends, not just yours. This is very specific to some of you, it doesn't really apply to everyone, but your person also has a bit of a himbo energy. Like they have a really good heart, very good looking and strong looking too, but not much going on in their pretty head. But, again, this is just for some of you! For most of you this is someone who is pretty smart and very aware of the current political/social climate.
One of the main things I'm seeing is that your person is very hopeful and definitely an optimist. They try to cheer you up whenever they feel like you're feeling down or when you need just an extra push of motivation. The thing that keeps coming up though is that isn't just for you it's for your friends, their friends, the people around you two. It makes me think of those guys who only want to buy a drink to the girl they're interested in instead of the whole group and it's the polar opposite of that. If you're hanging out with your person and your friends, your person will make sure to treat your friends well and make them feel welcomed.
For some reason I feel like your person might be a firefighter or EMT, I'm not sure why, but it seems like more of a physical/manual type of work. This person doesn't look like they're sitting behind a desk the whole day. They might work the night shift too. No matter what they do, their work is a source of satisfaction for them and their "way to contribute to society" so it's important that their work aligns with their values. This person has a bleeding heart and they're always trying to help whenever they can. They might do volunteer work or community work of some kind, but this is someone who really cares about their community and the world around them. A bit random, but your person might cry very easily, just like watching a commercial or something like that. It seems that they are very emotional. A bit like pile 1 in that sense, but I also feel that your person has been through a lot and that's exactly what made them kinder and made them worry more about the people around them. Very, very specific but I think that hunger and poverty is something that really "hurts" them if that makes sense. It would be the thing that they would just erase if they could.
check out the extended reading on patreon
Pile 3
Who are you dating next
Sun, World, Sweet corn - Ritual
Okay, the first thing I'm seeing is that your person loves eating and cooking and feeding people to be honest. They see meals almost as a sacred ritual that helps to create stronger bonds with other people. I feel like they're really good cooks, especially because they have a good palate. Your person also seems like the type of person that is really close to their family, like calling/texting them every day, sharing a meal together every weekend, that kind of stuff.
This person might have OCD or something like that, but their daily rituals seem very important to them. They are someone who loves routine and feel a bit anxious when things don't go as they had planned. Honestly, that seems to be the biggest issue for them they get really disappointed/annoyed when they plan something and it doesn't happen, even in simple things. Let's say that you two plan to go watch a movie and eat popcorn, but when you get there there ins't popcorn. Well your person is devastated. It's only for a couple of moments, but yeah it really hits them strong.
With the Sun and the World though, this is a very successful and hard-working person, but also someone who is very happy go lucky. Like they genuinely believe that life is beautiful and a miracle and they will romanticize even the smallest things. They seem like the type of person who will just tell you "it's going to be fine" even in the face of something absolutely tragic and that couldn't possibly "be fine" (somehow they may end up being right though).
They seem to have a very child-like and radiant personality too if that makes sense. In a way it's because they really attract other people's attention just for being themselves, but also because they just seem so genuinely happy and joyful. When they laugh it makes other people want to laugh as well. You may get an instinct to protect them at times, because it seems that they are too innocent for this harsh world. They're definitely dreamers and they think that even the smallest action can change the world. They have strong beliefs about what they think is wrong with the world and what should be changed.
When it comes to appearance I'm seeing blonde or light brown hair, maybe even some ginger here too or maybe a brass tone. In general, I'm seeing really long hair, especially for the women, and mostly wavy or curly. Although I think that the shorter your person's hair is the curlier it is. For their eyes I also lighter eyes here, even the brown eyes are more of a honey shade. The most striking thing though is that your person - no matter what they look like - is very beautiful. They get other people's attention precisely because of how physically striking they are. I feel like they tend to be very symmetrical and their bodies are very good looking too. It seems that they tend to be taller and curvier, both men and women.
check out the extended reading on patreon
Pile 4
Who are you dating next
Two of Wands, Ten of Wands, Peppermint - Success
While doing the reading for this pile "Ocean Eyes" suddenly came up so I really feel like your person is probably going to have blue or green eyes, maybe even hazel too. I also feel like their eyes have this very emotional quality to them, it's like you could get lost them in them because they're so expressive. Honestly, I get a very big Ian Somerhalder vibe here like with the dark hair and very light eyes and that contrast. I think that in general your person is a person of contrasts, of light and dark and even contradictions.
Do you know that Walt Whitman's poem "Do I contradict myself? / Very well then I contradict myself / (I am large I contain multitudes)"? I think that they really embody these lines. I'm also getting Fernando Pessoa's "I am nothing. / I shall never be anything. / I cannot even wish to be anything. / Apart from this, I have within me all the dreams in the world." Your person is very, very poetic pile 4. Maybe they're into literature (especially the classics) or they really love reading/writing poetry. This person is very deep, but again, filled with contradictions. They are hard to understand because they seem to be many things all at once. It's a very Gemini energy to be honest.
Apart from this your person is also very successful. They may come from money or they worked really hard until they got to where they are. No matter what though they dedicate a lot of their time to their work, to the point that they can't even rest properly because they can't take their mind off work. Some of them might also have some personal project or a business that they feel very passionate about and are just waiting for the right time to "launch" it. They're someone who makes a lot of plans, but not like in pile 3, more in the sense of making a plan to break down the steps that they need to take. This is for organization not control, if that makes sense. They also seem to really enjoy traveling, but either don't have much time for it or they end up getting tired in the middle of their trip. They feel like the type of person who has wanderlust, but also gets homesick easily. 
They are introverts for sure, and although this doesn't mean that they're antisocial it really does feel like they spend more time at home or by themselves. To me this feels more like they never really get the company that they crave. They really need mental stimulation, and the people around them can't really offer them that. Something that's coming up is that they might struggle with the little demon and angel on their shoulders sometimes. I feel like the little devil sometimes really wants them to cause some mischief or chaos and they try to control this. Honestly, what I'm getting from this is that they may annoy you on purpose, for their own amusement. I don't think that this is toxic, it's more meaningless stuff that will make you laugh rather than really annoy you.
What I can tell you pile 4 is that your person is very, very unique. I think you'll know it's them as soon as you meet them because you'll think that you've never met someone like this.
check out the extended reading on patreon
120 notes · View notes
purgemarchlockdown · 2 days
Text
Yoh know, I was planning on doing this at the end of the week. Just to really make sure the month long break was month long and to confirm I really did want to return, but damn the state of the tag in the last month or two is so sad and I have a hunch as to why.
So, hi again Milgramblr! I’m Nott! I’m an enjoyer of analysis and a believer that it’s a collaborative experience where people with various opinions and come together and discuss topics!
“Nott why are you saying this, statistically speaking, we already knew this about you?” Oh cause I experienced harrasement and outright got lied to multiple times lol.
I’m just saying it because I might as well, it’s pretty obvious something happened. I don’t like saying names publically, especially when I don’t plan on ever talking about this afterwards unless they engage which…well their blocked so I hope not. But I’m using this as a jumping off point for the actual topic of discussion.
Again, part of my enjoyment of analysis comes from collaboration, and as much as I love sending giant walls of texts to friends I enjoy seeing discussion from people I don’t know too well or maybe even not at all.
I think it’s important to create spaces in which analysis without fear of being executed in the middle of town square. It’s good to have more people working togehter in good faith to enjoy something, obviously, and the only real way of doing so is to…let people’s analysis be shared and discussed.
So! I’m turning my return post into a CALL FOR ANALYSIS YEAH! I HAVE BEEN GONE FOR A MONTH! TELL ME YOUR COOL OPINIONS EITHER HERE OR IN MY ASKBOX! I am holding my paws out like furry Oliver Twist going “Please, may I please have more analysis.” The intermission is the perfect time to discuss the information we have been provided!
On stuff I’ve been mulling over: I’ve been doing my usual narrative analysis and uh…attempting to write the monster theory analysis and then Not. Plus some other fun stuff you might see soon from me! Hope you enjoy what I got thought up!
59 notes · View notes
keen-li · 18 hours
Text
What you need | 02
Tumblr media
synopsis: everybody needs, but how do you define need? do you even know what you need.
Genre: best friends au, angst, fluff, smut, slow burn.
jungkook x reader.
prev | next
-
'’I’ve been in Seoul for a week now’’ he says hand in pocket, and tall figure towering over you as you just stand there.
‘’oh,’’ you say not knowing what else you could add. Namjoon’s aura is quite intimidating for you.
‘’I’m sorry I delayed your flight though.’’
The awkward smile you’ve got on your face makes him chuckle.
You take the time during his smile to admire the little dents on both his cheeks. You’ve never seen a man with dimples. Or maybe you're just paying too much attention to namjoon's face.
‘’That's alright yn’’ The way he says your name has a little more essence than the way others say it. ‘’I hope you enjoyed your lunch at least’’
You smile at the thought of lunchtime with jungkook. You enjoyed yourself and had your first full meal. Which you’re glad about.
You don't know if it will happen again it jungkook isn't around to force feed you.
‘’yeah I did’’ you smile and Namjoon can tell you’re not smiling at him.
‘’is it a boyfriend?’’ he asks walking on eggshells.
You internally scoff.
‘’that’s personal, don’t you think’’ you say knowing jungkook is far from your boyfriend. But it is personal for him to stick his nose in.
‘’you’re right, I apologize’’ he says, ‘’ I'm overstepping’’ You don't reply instead just let the silence sink in. You think you've indulged in personal conversation for too long. You never go past hi's and hellos when with make customers and neither do you spend so much time admiring their faces, but here you.
‘’what car do you have in mind’’ you change the topic and get to working. You’re not going to get yourself into personal conversations with a client. Last thing you need is more men on your plate.
‘’honestly, all of them’’
You know people like Namjoon, have too much cash and don’t know where to spend it and want to show it off (softly of course)
‘’wow, that’s a lot. Giving me a run for my money’’ you scoff
Namjoon shows you his dimples once more. You walk forward to the first car and Namjoon’s eyes follow your figure.
‘’I think you can handle it’’
-
‘’sorry I'm late’’ You walk to the booth jimin, willoe, and jungkook are sat at. All eyes are on you as you try and calm your breathing.
‘’what happened to you? ’’ willoe spits out eyeing you in concern as you breathe like you’ve got asthma.
‘’got off at the wrong stop and had to power walk here’’ you puff out. Jungkook moves out of the way so you can sit by the window and opposite facing willoe.
‘’you walked? What happened to your car’’ jimin asks staring at you even more concerned. You can see from the look on his face that he’s worried about you. It’s the first time you’ve seen him since your phone call. So he takes the time to analyze you.
‘’My car’s in the shop’’ Immediately you say it Jungkook’s eyebrows go up and he turns to face you. You bite your lip and avoid his eyes knowing what’s on his mind after your words.
You fight the urge to laugh nervously.
‘’That’s what happens when you don’t drive it.” Willoe spits out munching on some cheese sticks.
‘’I did drive it’’ for like a week, you honestly don’t even know why you bought the car if you weren’t willing to start driving it. You kinda place the blame on the fact that you recently got your license and are still shit scared of the road. Jungkook offers to help you get comfortable but you always procrastinate.
‘’what shop’s your car in?’’ jungkook eyes you warningly as his tongue grazes his inner cheek. He’s asking to provoke an answer.
‘’just some shop near work’’ You avoid long eye contact cause you know he’s probably feeling some way about it and you don’t want to face it.
‘’you didn’t tell me about it?’’ his words come out like a silent fire and everybody else at the table can feel the heat. So, willoe and Jimin ignore as they look at each other and speak with they’re eyes.
‘’yeah. I saw you were busy and I didn’t want to bother you’’ you spit out a little harsh. You understand what’s got his mood changed but you don't think it’s that big of a deal. You took your car to another auto repair shop, so what? ‘’it’s not that big of a deal kook’’ your words leave you mouth too quick for your liking.
‘’yeah you're right it’s not’’ his tone says otherwise. You roll your eyes at how childish he’s being. He can get childish sometimes over nothing and it bugs you.
‘’okay how has everyone been’’ willoe chimes in to change the air and you couldn’t be happier. But you were gonna have to talk about it later anyways.
-
‘’Now that the house is sold I have less work on my plate. Cause that house was impossible to sell’’ She exaggerates her tone and emphasizes how hard it was.
‘’That's great babe, I'm happy for you’’ Jimin rubs his hand on her thigh.
‘’thanks’’ she replies blush on her cheeks.
‘’how about you yn, how’s work?’’ she turns to you, who's mind is so far away.
‘’as horrible as ever but at least I just got a really big client’’ you adjust in your seat.
‘’ou, who?’’ willoe puts her elbows on the table.
‘’just some entrepreneur. I think he lives in France or something’’ you state like it’s nothing.
‘’he?’’ you can see the tease in Jimin’s eyes.
‘’please shut up jimin’’ You roll your eyes and scoff.
‘’what did i do?’’ he shrugs his shoulders amusingly.
‘’I thought you only worked with women?’’ jungkook decides to finally speak to you and it’s nothing more than a shallow inquiry.
‘’It’s not that I only work with women, it’s just that I prefer them over men.” You the words come out a little sharp and bored. You bite awkwardly into your cheese stick.
Jungkook hums.
‘’I know you want to say something’’ you turn back you Jimin as jungkook goes back to being silent after having his query's answered
‘’nope,’’ he shakes his head childishly.
‘’say it’’ you narrow your eyes.
‘’Nothing. Just be careful with these entrepreneurs from Europe’’
‘’why? He’s Korean though’’ you defend.
‘’doesn’t change a thing’’ willoe adds, she’s always on Jimin’s side. That’s what happens when in a debate with a couple.
‘’Their favourite thing is to prey on girls from here and promise them a fantasy’’ jungkook spits out. You can’t believe he’s still sulking.
You look at them as they seem to agree with each other. Why do they always act like they know better than you?
‘’you guys are being so dramatic. I'm not even interested in him like that’’ you insist ‘’plus I promised myself to never date again’’ you say like a vow and jungkook’s heart throbs in his throat.
‘’Whatever, I hope you just stick to your word’’ Jimin mutters with a cheeky smirk pasted on his face.
‘’yeah I will’’ your mood goes down a bit. You will prove them wrong.
You watch the waiter put the food down on your table and willoe is almost drooling.
‘’you’re gonna droll all over the table, babe’’ you hear jimin mock her before she lands a gentle smack on his shoulder and a soft mumble of words leave her mouth.
You turn to stare at jungkook to see if he’s still sulking. He is. You frown at how distant you feel from him when he’s like this.
You’re busy talking about your week and just some funny moments.
You watch willoe and Jimin bicker and it makes you smile at how cute they are.
You’re smiling when you turn to look at jungkook again. Your smile drops when you watch how silent he is and how he hasn’t touched his food.
‘’you okay?’’ he doesn’t seem to catch what you say immediately but when he does his smile and reassurance are unconvincing.
You don't poke more at it. He can’t be seriously this moody over you taking your car else where.
You're forced to stare out the window cause of the awkward silence in Jungkook’s car. The whisper of the wind the only conversation going on.
You haven’t spoken since you left the restaurant. You don’t want to nag him but you’re just worried he’s upset about the car thing when you didn’t mean to make him feel bad.
‘’kook’’ you speak so softly and unsurely you almost think he doesn’t hear. But the hard hum he releases lets you know he’s heard you. Now that you have the floor you wonder if you should even ask, you don't want to irritate him.
‘’Are you mad?’’ he raises his brow at you but still stares at the road. ‘’about the car thing’’
‘’I'm not mad’’ his tone says otherwise.
He takes a turn.
‘’it doesn’t seem that way’’ you ease in more.
‘’well I'm not’’ It comes out sharp and angry causing you to raise your brows ‘’Sorry’’ he murmurs out.
‘’I never meant to hurt your feelings, I just didn’t want to bother you with my junkie car’’ Your car was far from junkie but you’re just spitting out rubbish to ease the tension.
‘’it wouldn’t be a bother’’ he takes another turn. He doesn’t even know why he feels the way he does cause he’s not really mad, he just has this dull achy feeling in his chest and he doesn’t know why it’s there. But it’s there and making its existence known.
‘’I know, but I’ve seen you. You’ve got so much on your plate’’
You are right.
‘’I know but I just wished you’d told me, I could’ve recommended somebody I know’’
Why jungkook prefers you go to him about car issues is because he knows how some other auto repair shops work. They see women and find an opportunity to swindle. He believes he’s told you enough about it. But he still worries and prefers you tell him and he deals with it.
He pulls over at a red light.
‘’I’m sorry’’ you say taking a risk and bringing your hand into his free one, while the other stays on the wheel. Your body shivers at his warm hold which is contrary to your freezing ones.
You bring his hand to your lips to place a peck on it, just for fun and to catch his reaction. Jungkook crunches his face at the action, not that he minds but it just feels weird.
‘’don’t kiss my hand’’ he chuckles out. Then he interlocks your fingers together.
In your friendship you’ve become comfortable with this little holds and touches, so nothing feels weird about this. Just comforting.
‘’why?’’ you question with a huge teasing smile on your face.
‘’cause I'm the one who should be kissing yours’’
You watch him pull your hand to his lips. With his eyes locked on yours, he places a tender kiss on the skin.
The action soothes the ache in Jungkook’s heart, slightly. It brings some form of comfort to him.
You smile when he pulls his lips away, you can feel his lips still tingle on your skin.
You don’t know what to do but smile. At least he doesn’t seem to be mad.
The green light causes him to pull his eyes back to the road.
You try to pull your hand away from his so that it’s easier for him to drive. But his grip tightens around your hand, you raise a brow at him confused.
‘’ your hands are cold, I’m just warming them’’ he smirks and his thump caresses your skin.
--
‘’you don't wanna come up?’’ you lean against the window and wait for his response. ‘’I have banana milk?’’ you bribe.
He sucks air between his teeth ‘’it’s tempting, but I can't’’
‘’Maybe next time?’’ he bargains and you nod.
‘’yeah sure’’ you back away from his car.
‘’I’ll call you though’’ he says before he drives away, almost reluctantly. He watches you figure through the side mirror and watch his car disappear. The sad look on your face makes jungkook want to turn around.
But its not a sad look, more of a ‘I’m grateful to have you as a friend’ look.
When you’re back in your apartment and into your warm comfy bed. You throw your coat somewhere on the floor and make a mental note to pick it up soon, it was too expensive to throwing on the floor. But you’re exhausted.
Your mind slowly and unintentionally slips to the moment and feeling of jungkook holding your hand. You’ve held hands before but in the car, it felt...
In that moment for the first time, you never thought of yunho.
Ring, ring.
You groan when you hear your phone ring. It could be willoe cause she promised to call when she got home, but knowing willoe she’d never call cause she would forget to. Or it could even be jungkook. Your heart jumps at the thought.
Your smile drops and you let the phone ring to voicemail when you see the name that’s there. Unchanged still saved with the red heart and teddy bear emoji. You wonder why you never deleted it.
That sick and horrible feeling returns when you see the text that follows up on your screen.
Yunnie: I know you probably don't wanna talk to me, but I really wanted to hear your voice.
Yunnie: I've missed you.
Yunnie: are you free this weekend, I wanna talk things out.
You have a mix of emotions going through you and you can’t think. You could honestly throw up. Why the fuck is he texting you and why the fuck do you feel your heart pound.
The feeling gets even worse when a message from jungkook pops up and you open his chat.
[image]
Kook: goodnight bunny, <3
The picture of him on his couch with his black t-shirt and pajamas on and bunny smile in view causes you to smile. It almost makes you forget your dilemma for a second.
You: goodnight kook <3
57 notes · View notes
atopvisenyashill · 2 days
Note
seeing how some greens act like rhaenyra being groomed by her uncle, and subsequently being unable to let go of him, is HER personal failure turned me into a rhaenyra extremist when i simply enjoyed her character beforehand.
im really glad you're speaking about it because even though it's fiction, it still perpetuates a very dangerous rhetoric
wait this gives me an excuse to ramble, pls excuse me if i phrase things maybe a little crassly here, it’s a delicate topic i’m speaking indelicately about but also, i think i should be allowed bc [redacted] BUT-
obviously i don’t like, love, some of the changes to the show but i think the first half does a great job of setting it up to where you can see both alicent and rhaenyra are surrounded exclusively by much older men who want to fuck them, and have just no way of knowing who is being genuine with them. because no one is really! so you have episode 4, where alicent is sleeping in a room with pornographic art on the wall and being called to her husband’s bed and she can’t say no, and he’s not going to do anything to make the whole thing even marginally easier for her. and then you have rhaenyra, pulled from her bed by her uncle to a brothel, and she’s completely exposed, and she’s experiencing new things, and he’s purposefully trying to make this feel good but also overwhelming for her, then abandons her drunk & confused & half naked. this is The Same Thing - they’re both being used and manipulated by a much older man, but because that manipulation looks different, they react different. but it’s still manipulation.
yes, the type of abuse is different when it’s like, your ugly ancient grandpa grooming you vs a handsome 30 year old stranger you met online that you tell all your high school friends is your boyfriend, but ultimately, both the grandpa and the 30 year old boyfriend are abusers but more importantly, the granddaughter and the high schooler are both victims!!! i think a lot of people when analyzing this whole thing, will pin daemon as a groomer but then completely forget that this also makes rhaenyra a victim. some people will even hee hee haw haw over it because “oh your feminist icon would rather marry her groomer uncle than her gay cousin in the book” DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF. could it possibly be that rhaenyra prefers daemon to laenor because daemon has manipulated her into thinking she is only free with him? she is only safe with him?? could it possibly be that he has been giving her gifts and taking physical liberties with her for her whole life, and being the Good Cop, Sweet Confidant to her parents Bad Cop her whole life, that she feels taken in by him because he is all she knows???? in the same vein that alicent just swallows all the poison and bullshit from otto because that’s her father, and his protection is all she knows????
honestly part of like ~the discourse~ that’s most frustrating is that most greens just refuse to see rhaenyra’s pov or see that she’s also a grooming victim grasping for power to protect her own children, again just like alicent, but on the flip side, most of the analysis from the blacks side is like “if you think nyra is a victim of grooming you are just as bad as the people calling her a whore for having children out of wedlock” and like, how do you even engage with that. with either of those opinions. you can’t wksjd so if youre, ya know, like a normal fucking person who can see how both girls are being manipulated, but you have like a fondness for nyra specifically, it’s just constant bad takes. there’s nowhere to go to escape the bad takes.
i thought we had already hashed out this idea that being aware or unaware of your victimhood doesn’t suddenly mean you’re not being oppressed during the main show with arya and sansa but no, we’ve actually just taken this exact same annoying fandom discourse about which teenage girl is dealing with being abused in the most acceptable way and made it a thousand times worse.
43 notes · View notes
c4ttheart · 17 hours
Text
zuko x fem!reader, angst, 1.6k wc (whoopsi)
supposed to be a gn reader but i put that they went to the royal fire academy for girls ; also timeline makes no sense LMFAO sorry ab that
summary : he says he loves you. that’s not fair, that’s not something best friends should say to each other. but his favourite colour is blue, and so is yours.
Tumblr media
"zuko" you breathe out, "you’re back."
he furrows his brows when he hears you approach. he notices the hint of surprise in your voice, and somehow, he doesn’t know if it’s a good thing.
a mumbled "yeah" in response leaves his lips, and you smile. you quirk your lips upward as if he had never left. as if the last time he saw you wasn’t three years ago.
you want to ask him more, hold his hand and drag him through the gardens or sneak out into the city buying things you would never even need. but he turns away, leaving you to stand there in the middle of a palace that isn’t yours. zuko did not return with the avatar. zuko returned with blood on his hands, the price to pay for the victory of your kingdom. but that doesn’t feel right. that is not the zuko you know. then again, they really aren’t that different, three year gap or not, as they soak in the glory of what they have done.
why does he think it’s an honourable thing to have caused the demise of a city ? all that for what, the privilege of bathing in warm water and gold again ?
he ignores you throughout the month that he is here. you thought you were best friends, but apparently his stay at sea made him forget. one could say you’re not on the same footing anymore, since he is promised to the throne.
and it’s fine, you are fine, you can deal with whatever temper tantrum he is having, or the fact that he doesn’t have time for you. you don’t know what he went through, so you try to be fair. but then mai comes into the picture, and all of a sudden you’re fourteen crying on the floor of your dorm at the royal fire academy for girls because word is out that prince zuko has lost his agni kai. and you didn’t even have the time to say goodbye.
it’s not like you were dating. but he can’t just do whatever he’s doing. you waited for him to come back. every day. you still referred to him as your best friend and fed the turtle ducks in his absence. and he just waltzs back into your life and breaks your heart again.
mai is a sweet girl. she’s only a year younger than you. you know she’s a good student. but she doesn’t deserve to replace you. she doesn’t know his favourite colour and why it’s his favourite. she doesn’t know half of the things about him that complete your personality.
maybe that’s how you find yourself thumping on zuko’s door. it’s probably three in the morning, and you’re tired with red rims under yours eyes. he opens the door after some time, with messy hair and his room lit with candlelight. when was the last time you saw him ? he looks so real, so close and you are so, so grateful that he is here and that he is him, that you break down. what was once fury is replaced with desolation as he looks at you funny in front of the door that leads to his quarters.
"i uhm, thought you were at the academy." he mumbles awkwardly. the opening is only wide enough for you to see his face. why is he hiding ? what is this conversation topic ? when have you become such a stranger ? his favourite colour is blue. so is yours.
you sniffle. "it’s the middle of summer."
"oh."
he nods and moves to shut you off again. your tears run thicker against your cheeks.
"you can’t close the door zuko. you told me you loved me. you can’t keep on turning your back on the problems that require something else than military attention."
you don’t even know how you manage to speak the words correctly, considering the hiccups and the sniffles and the ugly crocodile tears. you don’t know how you manage to speak so correctly considering the state of your heart.
he scoffs. "you’re the one that left me."
"i did not leave you, zuko. i chose to stay." you laugh and croak out.
"that’s the same fucking thing." he whispers under his breath, his eyes rolling every time you blink water from your eyes.
it’s okay. you know he still loves you, somewhere inside. deep deep down, you know he does. it’s not wishful thinking, because his favourite colour is blue, and so is yours. blue like the waves back in ember island, blue like the water the turtle ducks swim in, blue like the sky in which he wishes he could soar. blue like the flames he never got.
"you can leave now, y’know ? " he speaks again, every single drop of formality run dry on his lips when he sees you. is that a good thing ?
and yellow used to be your favourite colour. not his, yours. yellow like the sun, yellow like the small buttercups, yellow like the jewellery your mother would wear. yellow like his eyes. and then all of a sudden, zuko came along, and yellow morphed into blue. what he liked, you liked. what he did, you did. what he said, you said. somewhere along the way you forgot yourself in the name of love. and all that for what ?
"i-i don’t understand, zuko." you hiccup. you try to remember the warmth of the yellow sun but all you can focus on is the harsh yellow in his eyes. it looks much less appealing than blue.
"god, what more is there to understand ? people move on, (name). maybe it’s time you do the same. grow up a bit, and maybe you’ll get a real personality."
you gasp.
"oh and, it’s prince zuko to you."
this horrible feeling settles in your stomach. like needles, piercing over and over again. or a dam being broken by a tidal wave. you do not feel good. and he is dressed in red, like his curtains, like his door, like the walls and floors and windows and carpets and when you finally reach the gardens you have never felt so nauseous watching the fountain blue.
when you glance up, you realise the sky is red too.
your tears are all dried up now. you should go home, probably. but the sun is rising and the last thing you want to do is let your parents know you snuck out, that you’re not at all at the friend’s house you were supposed to be at. you’re seventeen, yet you are still so reliant on your parents. you should take control of your life, you think, but you still have a favourite colour and you still like the same guy than when you were a child. maybe zuko is right, you should grow up.
best friends should never be able to love each other. it ruins lives, love. you think it would have been best if zuko had never loved you at all. but his favourite colour is blue, and so is yours, because your personality is completely attached to his. maybe you loved him too before you even knew it.
you watch people get up and about from the tower you’re in. you don’t know which one it is, just that it is high off ground. when a bird squeaks, you bang your head against the wall. messenger hawks scare you.
something falls besides you, and it sounds light. a key, sitting still and yellow on the middle of the paved floor. it’s an ordinary key, yet it looks too unused to be one leading to the bird cages. you nervously look around, with puffy eyes and dried cheeks, because you should not be doing this but god, do you need something to get your mind off zuko.
fuck him and his little girlfriend. fuck him and his petty ways, fuck him and his fancy baths, fuck him and his golden eyes. he should have told you if he hated you. if he didn’t wish to be best friends anymore. you would have taken it easier than now. but he just vanished, and when he came back, he wasn’t himself anymore. maybe he lost himself like the people of ba sing se lost their lives because of him.
you spot some sort of square locker imbedded in the wall. it looks quite private but the key fits when you insert it, and when you turn it the door silently opens. then something falls on your face. it’s small and not very heavy. looks like a messy envelope when you pick it up. you open it subconsciously, like it was meant to find you somehow. maybe it was, because your heart drops when you read who it is addressed to. you skip the contents only for what you thought were your dry eyes pour again.
inside the box, is a year worth of letters. they’re all from zuko. and they’re all sealed with blue wax.
you don’t speak with zuko the following week, but rumours spread fast and all of a sudden the whole country knows he’s gone. it’s alright. you didn’t get to say goodbye the first time, so why would you now ? when you go back to your dorm at the academy the next day, pretty petunia flowers sit on your bed, sealed with a blue ribbon. you clench your jaw.
it is quite a feeble gift, but it is better than nothing at all. you keep them in a vase on the windowsill, even when you learn they mean resentment, because his favourite colour is blue, and so is yours.
it always will be.
Tumblr media
i like read iver this once to make sure some sentences made sense that is it
this was supposed to b fluff but uh,,,,,
36 notes · View notes
coffe-and-tea-time · 15 hours
Note
KEEP PRETENDING TO SLEEP! KEEP PRETENDING TO SLEEP!!!
HEHEHEHEHEHE I WAS WAITING TO COOK THIS
Tumblr media
Coffee insanely speaking! Thanks Dear, you gimme the perfect excuse to write a second part just in time although I expected the option of talking to him to come first. Not that I'm complaining lol
Post where this suggestion came from
↪︎ ☾ I love to see you ....................................... .......................................☆ I love to hear you↩︎
Tumblr media
TW: yandere behavior, delusions, murder of self-preservation, stalking, obssesion, somewhat willing reader, kinda denying of bad decisions
Of course, the best option is to stay still, not because you are enjoying this no no, of course not...
Despite his soft voice that sounds rather familiar, you can't really recall who or where. So the safest option is just giving in at the moment, you didn't know how he could react so the safer the better, isn't it?
A smile starts creeping on your face against your will, seems like you are a rather bad actor when it's required, huh? 
“Oh, I'm really glad, you seem like you're finally having a good dream… will it be too greedy if I want to be inside that little dream of yours? Well, if you find that greedy, you won't be able to handle me later”
Hearing a close mouthed giggle following the whisper makes your heart flutter softly, like this is some kind of really romantic scene in his mind. You were able to hear the faint sound of footsteps, he seems like he's doing a little room tour, making it a little hard to hear him.
“Oh Dear, you were researching that thing again?”
It seems like he found his way into your phone, what was he referring to?
“Why do you keep reading so much about romance? Are these words good enough to keep your focus?... Maybe I have to start practicing oral expression? It's been a while since I felt like that, last time was when you downloaded that stupid dating sim… This is truly irritating, the names they use, the way they ‘communicate’ to you; do no justice, I can express myself way better, my love, and how my eyes change when I see you walking by… just... please, I need only one chance, and I promise you won't have a room left for doubts”
Even though he made the effort to lower his voice in order to 'not wake you up', it's clear how his tone is changing with every word depending on the topic; First, a low hint of infatuation, then, what sounds closer to a plead and, finally,...was that...hopelessness?
Honestly, in a normal situation, you would be annoyed by someone searching through your phone but only an idiot would think this man would judge you even if you had pictures of dead people there, more like he's genuinely looking for more of you, despite the fact that it's really not the ‘proper’ way, you can't say it didn't work.
“My beloved Cherry, what can i do for you to talk to me? Those characters seem to steal your attention quickly… I would be lying if I sad I'm not a little hopeful because of them though, you seem to have quite the specific taste, Cherry, and I believe I fit perfectly on them... if only I could find the right moment to get into your routine, to be part of your life…”
Weird that he worries about getting to talk to you with an ideal scene but not worrying about stalking you, but maybe it's kind of understable? Since well, everyone likes to check on their crush on social media even if they take a while to actually talk, even if this guy took it a little too far, he sounds... harmless like his wish is just to win your affection…
wait a second…
Are you truly relaxed in this kind of situation? What is going on with you? Why? Why… well, can't say you didn't ask for this, even as a joke, you know this time is different because it's real, but… why does reality feel like a fantasy right now? Is it because of him?
“Huh, I come here as a routine by now, I still get the same queries, I’m dying to find the answers soon..”
Sensing that lightly sweet fragrance once more makes you know he’s approaching your ‘sleeping’ form once again, making it easy to hear him despite his constant whispering.
“Would you let me cuddle you? Would you let me kiss you? Would you mind if I were clingy? Would you mind if I get jealous? Would you mind if it seems like I already know more about you than I should? I want to hold you my dear, I can’t wait for the day I can just snuggle with you every time we want… I really can’t wait anymore, I need to be closer to you… I guess I have no option other than to talk to you out of the blue, I dislike to be so imprudent, but I promise I will make up for it once you accept me in your life, Love”
You feel a gentle hand slightly caress your cheek as a little peck is placed on your forehead, making you almost smile like a fool if it weren’t for the fact that pretending to sleep is your priority in this sweet moment, unexpected but called for moment.
“Sweet dreams Cherry, I have to prepare what I should say tomorrow, I will put all of my efforts to be my best self to make a good first impression, I hope I snatch enough of your interest to be on your mind even for a moment”
Oh, he is definitely gonna be stuck in your mind for a while, as you try your best to focus on the sounds, you catch his steps as he seems to walk away… but you keep up with your act just in case.
So, tomorrow, huh? Seems like once again you have important decisions in your hand, should you indulge in your fantasy and let him get near you? It also sounds fun to go to him first… But, maybe you should try to avoid him? It’s the safer choice, but do you really want that? He seems safe enough not to raise any of your flags, he seemed so caring for you…
sorry for any misspellings or weird sentence structure ❣
images from pinterest
46 notes · View notes
koolades-world · 15 hours
Note
Hi!! Hope you're having a good day! May I ask for levi with some sort of anime girl type hoodie and reader asking him to get rid of it because their jealous?
hello! of course :)
enjoy!
Me? Jealous?
Levi was looking forward to his gaming session with you that evening. You'd been seemingly very busy the past week, so he hadn't gotten a chance to snag your sole attention at all. He hated having to vie for your affections during the day with his brothers, so instead he sent you a text to ask if you were up to play games. He was overjoyed when you said yes.
Right after dinner, he set off to his room to tidy up. After throwing away the several empty energy drink cans and chip bags, and wiping every controller down, he let you know he was ready when you were. You showed up to his room soon enough with a smile on your face.
"Levi!" You peaked in through the crack in the door he'd made to check who'd knocked. He fully opened the door and promptly shut it behind you.
"Hey Mc." He found himself grow increasingly nervous as you threw your arms around him. You'd known each other for so long now, yet every time he turned to putty under your touch.
"You have any games in mind?" After they backed up, he noticed your expression fall a little, causing him to panic. What had he done? Maybe you'd finally realized you'd rather hang out with Mammon or Asmo. They were much more fun anyways.
"Yes... no! I meant no." He stumbled over his words after remembered he had to speak.
"If you had something in mind, let's do that. You're the expert after all." You grabbed his arm and dragged him towards his gaming setup. Eventually, after some coaxing from you, he showed you what he wanted to do with you, so that's what you spend your evening doing. A few times during the evening, he thought he saw you give him some side glances, but he brushed it off because you seemed happy enough.
Once you’d done what he wanted, and you were both growing tired of that particular activity, Levi suggested rewatching a favorite anime of yours. After he put it on, he only got halfway through the first episode before letting his thoughts run rampant again. He was certain they were giving him side glares now. The anxiety of the situation began to eat away at him, crippling any confidence he had. After he caught you full on staring at him, he knew he had to say something.
“Mc?” He turned his head to meet your gaze.
“Hmm?” You seemed as if you’d just woken up from a stupor of some kind.
“Are you… alright?” He held his breath waiting for your response.
“Yes. Why do you ask?” They shifted their body towards him. Silence filled the room. He has no clue where to go from there. He didn’t think he’d get that far to be honest.
He could only muster up a small “Alright.” Way to go genius! What a smart way to answer a question. But, he just couldn’t bring himself to open his mouth again for anything that wasn’t sad, deflated balloon-esque noises. The pair stared at each other now, neither speaking. Eventually, you finally said something.
"I'm sorry. It's just be being dumb." You looked away from him, sneaking glances. He remained silent. You sighed, and continued despite seeming to not want to. "It's just... your hoodie." He looked down suddenly at what he was wearing. It was just some generic anime girl on a hoodie. It had been a gift from Mammon, and when he says he scoured the internet for he, he found nothing. She wasn't a real character and while he didn't actually know where he got it from, he had his guesses.
"What?" Was all he could muster. He felt like he looked incredibly stupid, kind of like a fish with wide eyes and an open mouth.
"She's not a character I've seen in your room before." Levi could sense there was more you wanted to say, but kept dancing around the topic. As he thought more about your words and the expression on your face, the lightbulb above his head finally lit up.
"OH." With that realization, he began to panic and immediately tried to take off the hoodie, only to remember he wasn't actually wearing anything underneath. He quickly pulled it back down and decided to turn his back to you instead.
"Levi! You don't have to take it off, you know." You put your hand on his shoulder.
"If you're jealous, then I need to. I know what that feels like. It's not a good feeling. You shouldn't have to feel that if you don't need to." The words that came out of his mouth were more poetic than usual. For a second, you were unsure on how to respond.
"Thanks. You're really sweet. Now, do you want me to get out while you change?" You began to giggle as his face turned beet red. He quickly ushered you out of the room, causing you to laugh more, but as soon as you were out of the room, you dwelled on the warm, fuzzy feelings Levi gave you. You were so lucky to have him in your life.
26 notes · View notes
onakomiyaki · 2 hours
Text
just a silly crush (not) pt.1
pairing: daniel ricciardo x childhood friend-brabham!reader ; lewis hamilton x reader (implied, platonic relationship)
summary: even after two decade of constant battle with his own silly first love slash crush and manage to almost win the fight, you're still the one who manage to knock the breath out of him. and yet, here you are, still oblivious to his feeling.
this is set in 2021, so papaya daniel :D.
warning: unedited and rushed work (I GOT INSPIRED AFTER TWO CANS OF REDBULL RAAAAAAHHHH), harsh words, childhood trauma (kinda)
Tumblr media
"c'mon danny, you never say no to a good party!" lando whines as he follow the irritated daniel around like a puppy.
the older man let out a sigh before continuing what he left behind; wiping his helmet. lando stomp his feet once-the let out exageratted sigh as he sat down beside him.
"just leave your helmet and go out with us!" he insisted.
"lando, no." he sternly said.
"you never say no to a party! especially monaco party."
its true, daniel would never refuse an invitation to a party. in fact, most of the time he would be the one who send out the invitation to everyone on grid. but it's different. today is different.
"it is (y/n) brabham we talked about dan! don't you want to go to her dope party?" lando reason.
if only you knew that is the reason why i refuse to go, lando. daniel thought. "so? why do i have to come along?" he asked, finally facing the young brit.
"uhhh, because it is y/n? she's like a hot topic and the it girl of the paddock right now? daughter of david-fucking-brabham? and maybe i want to know her more?" he answer as if the answer he said is the most obvious answer.
"and i heard from max that she is your friend! so maybe you can-"
"was." daniel stop him.
"damn, okay. she was your friend, whatever. and maybe you can introduce me to her." lando scoff.
your name is still a sour topic to him, leaving a bad taste in his mouth and saying those word killing him inside. yet, he doesn't have the courage to elaborate more to the poor confused lando norris.
(y/n) brabham, the famous australian model turn to actress and daughter of david brabham-yes the david brabham become the hot flaming topic on the grid after her unexpected debut on the paddock of bahrain gp as lewis hamilton's plus one.
maybe because she was also known for stating her dislike over the motorsport that his father (and his family) was famously known for. it was not her cup of tea, she said back in her 2019 the famous vogue interview. and maybe because his father insisted on pushing it to her and her younger sibling. either way, (y/n) and formula one has never seen in the same sentences.
while other drivers didn't think about it a lot, daniel feel like he's about to passed out right then when he saw y/n walking beside lewis, in black mercedes polo matching with the man beside her while laughing and waving at the media crew.
max, being the only person who knows about daniel's pathetic first love, was there to hold daniel's body, giving the man poor reassuring pats on the back. "mate, if i were y/n i would also choose lewis." he said, and daniel swear he's about to knock the blue eyed dutchman out.
although lewis officialy stated that y/n is just his friend and fellow ambassador for tommy hilfiger on interview few times now, daniel can't help but to get jealous at the 7 times world champion.
because of course y/n would show up as lewis hamilton's plus one rather than his, despite their history, and after many attempts of invitation and bribery that failed, he just stop asking.
"danny, i hate loud noises and i know how loud those cars are. and also, you know how i feel about the sport"
loud noises his ass.
lando leaning in closer now, shoulder touching his as he stare at the older men with those disgusting puppy eyes. daniel push the younger men on the forehead, as he shake his head.
"oh c'mon now! don't make me call for reinforcement to get you out of here!" lando said as he grab his phone from the back pocket of his jeans, and typing furiously.
"what reinforcement?" daniel asked, eyebrow raised in question.
not even a minute later daniel's motorhome door open, then, enter max verstappen along with carlos sainz and charles leclerc.
"that." lando simply stated as he point to the trio.
max watch in amusement, folding his hand in front of his chest.
"get 'em boys." he said.
"wha-"
"sorry cabrón, we have to get you outta here." carlos said as he walk to his direction, holding his left arm.
"what he said." charles said, grinning as he hold the opposite arm.
"seriously? you're gonna drag me out of my own place?" he asked as he forced to stand up from his seat, not even resisting because god know how strong these two are. especially the spaniard.
"yep."
"yeah, pretty much."
"uh-huh."
lando, carlos, and charles said at the same time.
daniel then turn his gaze to the dutch man, annoyed at how his smirk seems to speak a thousand words.
"i expect these three gremlins to be the one who did this to me, but you?" he said, eyes glaring at the dutchmen.
"well, beat me for wanting a good source of entertainment, ricciardo." max said, shrugging his shoulders.
"i am going to kill you four, with my own hands."
Tumblr media
the-clearly exclusive-club where your party was held is amazing to say the least. it would be a big fat lies if danny said he is not impressed by the place. he walk through the sea of human, heading straight to the bar as he scan the room.
he already lost oscar, carlos, and charles the second they enters the club and god knows where max and kelly are. the lovebird seems to be touchy even before entering the club and now danny needs a glass-or two-of the strongest liquor.
"oh?" a familiar voice interrupt his train of thoughts as he turn his head to the source.
"they did manage to drag you out of your fortress, i thought carlos was joking. huh, impressive." you said, occupying the empty seat beside him.
"that they did." is the only response he said as he shot you a thin smile.
"you look good, ricciardo." you smile at him, squeezing his shoulder in friendly manner.
"and so are you, brabham." another dry response from him.
"ugh please, i want to get married just so i can get rid of that last name." you said, rolling your eyes. god you do hate your last name.
"right." he coldly stated.
you nod your head as you brought the martini glass close to your mouth. ah, he's mad at you still, you thought. and he have every right to do so. showing up at the paddock-after rejecting his invitations since his debut in 2012-out of nowhere, without telling him, was a jerk move.
so, you did the right thing you know.
"sorry about bahrain. i- it was for work purpose." you said, facing him with guilty eyes. you knew this would hurt him.
"its alright, y/n." he answer, refusing to face you because, god you look and smell so good and he didn't want to let his wall down. and if he face you, he know won't be able to stay mad. but he want to. he want to be pissed at you.
"well, enjoy the party i guess. and thanks for coming." you chimed, sliding out from the seat as you rub his shoulder.
daniel's fast reflex is both curse and blessing for him. and boy do he feel like it was a curse. because before even his mind processing what is happening, his hand is firm on your wrist, refusing to let go.
you watch him with a mixed of both puzzled and surprised look.
"danny? you need something?" you asked.
his mouth agape he seems to be clueless and surprised at how fast his hand move.
"oh-um. no, sorry." he managed to say as words seems to be tied inside his throat as he stare at you.
"oh-kay?" you said.
he let go of your wrist, as if your skin burn him. "sorry."
you open your mouth to say something, but-
"daniel!" both you and daniel whip your head to the sound.
max waving his hand at him, kelly was nowhere to be seen. but from the goofy smile, max's disheveled hair, and his flushed cheeks danny have the idea of where kelly is.
"i thought you run away or something." the blue eyed dutchmen said as he approach his former teammate.
"speak for yourself max, i'm here all the time. where have you been?" daniel said, amused look on his face.
"oh! just-uh-dancing with kelly." he speak, trying to clear his throat.
you let out a giggle which causing max to raised an eyebrow at you.
"uhh, what so funny y/n?" he asked.
daniel roll his eyes as he pointed max's neck and collarbone. "seems like a good dance, look at you all flushed and littered with lipstick stains."
max turned pale as he hide his neck, buttoning his shirt up to hide the evidence.
"i'm-ahaha-i'm not-i'll just go..." he said, quickly turn his heel to walk away from the embarrassing situation he's in.
both you and daniel watch as max trying his best to hide himself in the crowds.
"that little rascal," he said, downing his whiskey "oh right, you were about to say something. what is it?" he asked, turning his body to fully face you now. thanks to max, daniel feel a little more calm now.
you give him a smile, shaking your head. "i forgot about it," you simply said with a shrug "it was nice talking to you daniel, really. i have to greet another guest now and um-sorry, again. hope we're cool now?" you said, offering a hand for him to shake.
daniel stare at her awaiting hand, finally giving her that sunshine smile before taking your hand in his, shaking it. "we're cool, brabham," he said "only if you come to spa as my plus one."
"oh. i have a catwalk that time." you said, opening your calendar app on your phone.
"hmm, zandvoort then?"
"photoshoot."
"alright. monza?"
"ah another photoshoot."
"oh."
"but i can come. the photoshoot will be held in monaco anyways." you said, showing him your packed schedule.
"really?" daniel said, voice full of hope.
"its only fair if i come to your race," she said, smiling at him brightly. "but-"
daniel expression fell, waiting for what you have to say next.
"you have to win."
he let out the breath he's been holding on, wiping his face before chuckling.
"you have yourself a deal, brabham."
"right on, ricciardo."
20 notes · View notes
venerawrites · 2 days
Note
Hiii
Can ask for shino and shikamaru (separate) (angst)
A story about them having a crush on reader but then they found out that someone likes them too??
Maybe they were about to go see reader until they saw them with another boy 😭👊👊👊
author's note: wow, I took a while with this request, but I was waiting to be in the right mood so I can write it! I changed the story a bit with Shino, I hope that's okay! I really hope you enjoy and thank you so much for requesting! <3
Tumblr media
Shino
Being best friends with Kiba had ton of pros - you always had something fun to do, his mom made the best fried spinach rolls and you also had unlimited passes to snuggle Akamaru any time you want. It also gave you the chance to join him and his teammates' training, despite not being a ninja yourself.
Spending so much time observing them, you grew somewhat closer with Hinata and Shino too.
The girl was shy and timid at first, but once she got to know you, she started to relax and speak more. For your surprise, she was also quite quick witted, offering remarks and comment the second Kiba said or did something. You didn't had a lot of common, but she had a vast knowledge in very different areas and could keep conversation on almost any topic.
Shino, on the other hand, was more difficult to get to know. The first few times you showed up at their training, he just silently nodded his head as a greeting, before continuing his sparring. Even when it was time for his break, he choose to sit by himself in the opposite side of the field, rather next to you. After a few months, however, your patience paid off and he started to have small chats with you, usually cantered either around nature or insects.
Naturally, at first you thought that maybe he didn't like you. You've seen him talk with other shinobi on the streets of Konoha, and he sounded quite blunt with the rest of his team, so you didn't think he was shy or embarrassed. But when you finally shared your thoughts with Kiba, he just laughed, resting his arm around your shoulders:
"Don't worry, Y/N! He is like that with everyone - trust me, I know him like the back of my hand!"
Unbeknown to you, meters away, standing in one of the many alleys leading to the central road, was the devil himself. Shino's eyes remained focused on the hand around your shoulder, his lips instinctively pressing into a thin line.
Shino often questioned how did he got to his current position.
Being in a team with the Inuzuka, he knew who you are before he even met you - Kiba never missed a chance to say how beautiful and funny his best friend is, and how one day they are going to finally gain the courage to ask them out. At first, Shino didn't think much of it - his teammate was famous for getting a new crush every second week of the month.
But soon every second week turned into a whole month and then to six months, before it was finally a full year and Kiba got bold enough to bring you to one of their training practices.
Oh, how wrong it felt for Shino's breath to hitch in his throat, the moment he laid his eyes on you for the first time! Thankfully his stare was well hidden behind his dark glasses, because he was sure if the other boy noticed, he wouldn't hesitate to attack and that would surely affect his team's future dynamic.
Knowing he should not lust after his friend's interest, the man tried his best to stay away. He avoided talking with you, sitting near you or even looking at you for too long. The more he resisted this pull he felt toward you, however, the harder it got.
"What if I just give myself a little taste? Maybe once I get to know them, all these feelings would fade away", he thought to himself when he finally got brave enough to sit next to you.
Any hope he had that he would lose interest once he talk with you, quickly disappeared into thin air, once you looked at him with your big eyes, eagerly nodding for him to continue his explanation about dragonflies and the metamorphosis after their larval stage. He wasn't used to someone questioning him so much or show such keen interest in what he was talking about, so when you did, he couldn't help but realise he was in love.
Shino considered himself a good and loyal friend. But the more he watched Kiba wasting his time without saying anything to you, the more selfish he started to feel.
Why shouldn't he show you his interest? His teammate was obviously not going to do it, so it was technically not a stabbing in the back... right? It was your choice at the end of the day who do you want, but he had a right to compete for your heart too!
After months of thinking it over and over, Shino knew he had to tell you how he felt, even if the risk of you rejecting him was big. But as he watched Kiba sitting you down on one of the benches, his hand still around your shoulder, while the other one shyly pulled a flower from behind his back, he knew he was too late.
He had lost without even being given a chance.
Shaking his head, he threw the small box of your favourite chocolates bonbons in the nearby bin, before turning away and stuffing his hands in his pockets. The sound of your laughter ringed behind him and he had to stiffen his whole body, stopping it from taking a glance and hurting his heart even more.
Maybe one day things would be different - it would you be you and him on that bench, and he would pour his whole soul in front of you, promising you the world if you only give him the chance for him to give it to you.
Maybe one day he would be able to be with you, without feeling the rotten feeling of guilt and disgust with himself.
Maybe one day, but today was not that day.
Shikamaru
Clear days like these were rare - no clouds, no wind, not even the slightest movement in the air - just the unforgiving sun shining brightly at the Village Hidden in the Leaf. Time felt just like a concept when the hours kept dragging slowly after one another, each feeling like a whole eternity.
A loud yawn escaped Shikamaru's lips and his feet dragged through the dirt, making their way to the training grounds where he was sure you will be. While you didn't posses any special abilities or unique jutsu techniques, nature has gifted you with extremely sharp mind, wide imagination and skilful hands, which were able to build any type of weapon. When you were not away on a mission or hanging out with Shikamaru, you liked to spend your time resting the improvement to your latest gadgets.
The friendship that blossom between you two in your late teens was both surprising and unexpected. Back at the Academy you both shown quite hostile behaviour toward each other and while you were not exactly “enemies”, you couldn’t stand each others presence. The Nara boy did not like how loud, unpredictive and spontaneous you are, seeing your carefree attitude as both annoying and dangerous, especially during missions.
On the other hand, you were also not a fan of him. While you acknowledged his intelligence and gift for coming up with quite interesting strategies, his laziness, sarcasm and constantly bored expression were something you would never want in a fellow comrade.
Yet, a few years later you were almost inseparable. His knowledge combined with your handiness made you a powerful duo and you were often combined in missions together, especially when it came to tracking and ambushing rogue ninjas. What started as strictly shinobi work soon turned into daily hangouts. You learned from each other and often spend whole nights talking and brainstorming how to better your teamwork.
But respect and friendship were not the only thing growing between you two. Shikamaru didn't know when or how exactly it happened, but one morning he woke up next to you on the sofa, after both of you fell asleep playing shogi, and he looked at you, suddenly realising what the funny feeling inside of his chest was. He reached out to you that day, gently removing the hair out of your peacefully sleeping face and wishing that one day he will wake up next to you as your lover, not just the friend you accidentally fell asleep next to.
Months passed since that time and he never said even a word about his feelings. Every day you met at the exact same spot and exact same time, spending your whole days together, just like you were before. You continued acting the same way, enthusiastically talking about your latest inventions, completely unaware of your friend's longing looks and blushing cheeks. Or maybe you were aware, but you were nice enough not to say anything about it.
Shikamaru rarely felt fear, but for weeks now this was the main emotion squeezing his heart. What if you didn't return his affection? What if you wanted to just be friends? What if you realised his feelings and decided to take a step back, thus making him lose you forever?
All these questions were actively torturing his brain every waking minute, but as he stood near the entrance of the training grounds, watching you laughing, head buried in Naruto's chest, he couldn't help but squeeze his hands into fists.
What was this dobe doing? And since when you were SO close?
Feeling someone's glare burning the back of your head, you lifted your head from the blonde's jacket, before turning around. Spotting your best friend near the gates of the grounds, you ignored his narrowed eyes and annoyed frown, instead waving your hand high in the air.
"Shika!", you smiled brightly, pulling away completely from Naruto's embrace, "You are late today!"
The black haired male only hummed in response, slowly walking over to you, his eyes dancing between you and his other friend. While your demeanour seemed normal, the Uzumaki's face was all red and he kept glancing at you every few seconds, his teeth deep into his bottom lip.
"Am I interrupting something?", the words came out heavy with sarcasm and your brows immediately furrowed. Shikamaru hasn't used this tone since your academy days, when he used any chance to show his dislike toward you.
Naruto finally acknowledged the other male, one of his hands making his way toward the back of his neck, where he nervously scratched the skin. He grinned at the Nara, stepping over to him and extending his arm for a handshake.
"H-Hey, Shikamaru! Didn't expect to see you here, heh...", his hand shamefully retracted, once the other boy did not take it, instead glancing at it with disgust. You watched the weird interaction, while pulling your weapons in your bag, confused at why both of them were acting so strange in each other's presence. They were not the best of friends, but they were still pretty close and it was unusual of them to be that nervous around each other.
"I was just asking Y/N if they want to come and grab some ramen with me-"
"They are busy", Shikamaru impatiently interrupted, briefly moving his eyes to you, "We have plans already."
The blonde man let out a small "oh!" and he looked over to you with a confused expression. Having all your weapons neatly packed in your bag, you stood next to both of them with crossed arms, you face twisted in annoyance.
"Actually...", you moved over to Naruto, taking his hand in yours and giving him a small smile, "I am so starving, I would love to have some ramen now! If you go and wait for me near the gates, I will be there just in a minute."
The man smiled at you, nodding his head at your words, before reaching toward your shoulder and taking the heavy bag from you. He passed Shikamaru, nodding his head as a goodbye, but the dark-haired male was too busy glaring at you in order to give any type of response.
Once Uzumaki was at a safe distance away from you, you turned your attention back to your friend, almost hissing at him:
"What the hell is your problem?"
He scoffed at your words, one of his brows arching high up.
"Naruto?", his name feel out together with a mocking laugh from his lips, "Really? You are ditching me for Naruto?"
You rolled your eyes, both annoyed and baffled by his bizarre behaviour.
"I'm not ditching you!", you defended yourself, before crossing your arms once again, "I am absolutely starving and technically, laying in the middle of a field and sleeping is hardly counted as "plans". Naruto was nice enough to ask me to join him-"
"That dobe likes you! His face looked like he was about to explode when he was next to you!", Shikamaru didn't even wait for you to finish your sentence, before huffing at you. He took a step closer, his jaw clenching, "I though you are better than entertaining stuff like these from... people like him."
The way he said these words, filled with so much venom and dislike... You didn't know who the man you was, but he was definitely not your best friend.
"Dobe? People like him?", you repeated, taking a step back, "Okay, calm down Sasuke 2.0! Don't get your panties in a twist and go rogue or something, because you can't handle the idea of me hanging out with people other than you!"
Before he can reply, you stepped around him, making your way toward Naruto, who was patiently waiting for you near the gates of the training grounds. After a few steps, you looked back, your eyes full with dissapointment:
"I really thought time has changed you... If you decide to stop being a d*ckhead, you know where to find me! Goodbye, Shikamaru!"
The young Nara stood there in the middle of the grassy field watching your figure become smaller and he loudly gulped, when he saw the blonde taking your hand in his. He knew he acted irrationally, based on his jealousy and anger, and know as there was nothing but silence around him, he realised that maybe he did already lost you forever.
cc artwork: Clement Tingry
20 notes · View notes
kicktwine · 5 months
Text
oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock
#say one thing wrong to me and you will have a wonderful few days with the rock#if angry silly girls have 100 fans etc if they have 0 fans i have died#sorry i saw a YouTube meme i vehemently disliked on principle and got mad at the only child behavior-#kipspeak#she is just short tempered and uses anger to mask other more ‘shameful’ emotions!!! alphy did the same thing with just deciding not#to express them. which is still not good and I think why he breaks and ends up teary so often now#this shortness does not translate to actually being mean to people. she only uses being mean as a shield for herself and being snarky#Is just fun for her. it’s fun for Me. you have to inconsequentually tease people or they’ll never learn to laugh at themselves#the twins and thancred 🫵 do this thing where they have big emotions but they don’t want anyone to SEE they have big weird emotions#so alphy pretends he doesn’t have them under a veneer of dignity and alisaie pretends the emotions are Something Else. thancred is#just so emotionally constipated he has trouble expressing anything. he’s got enough baggage for a flatbed#anyways. alisaie is such a compassionate and kind girl and she learned how to make snarky jokes and went ham. and she hates appearing sad o#weak or vulnerable so she blocks it off with an unapproachable emotion so no one pities her and they maybe get on with the plot#it is in fact also great at getting ppl to move away from the sad or embarrassing topic. even if the tradeoff is being more offputting#she would never (grabs youtube meme) she would never seriously bully her brother. this is sibling ribbing only. Cain instinct#just leave her be she is learning how to snark humor and she loves it she loves being sharp. alphy has wit he just keeps it close#my brother didn’t learn how to tell or receive a joke until he was 14 he took everything so seriously. he can do it now though and he’s#HILARIOUS. Don’t tell him I said that. my man knows exactly where the funny points are even if he hasn’t learned when to stop yet#too many tags. Whatever. jokey snark alisaie who sometimes compliments is happy alisaie grouchy snappy angry alisaie is way too stressed#very easy way to tell between the two. even alphy can tell between the two I believe! He tends to rib back in protest if they’re having fun#and try to stop her if they’re not having fun. case in point ‘what is that supposed to mean?!’ vs ‘alisaie ryne was only trying to help.’#I know they’re twins but that’s such an intensely older sibling thing to do that it reels me#LONG TAGS AND THREE EDITS TO ADD ON SHORT I resent this stereotype taken too far into ooc behavior. it happened with nya#It will happen again and as a postscript let me regale you with Things U Can Notice About Character Motivation and Actions—#I’m not done let me s#she and raha are friends now I decree. ‘haha you like me’ SPUTTERING PROTEST FROM BOTH
61 notes · View notes
gibbearish · 6 months
Text
kinda frustrating how we've spent the last few months acknowledging how a lot of well intentioned but guilt trippy social justice posts are like specifically designed to worm into ocd ppls brains and then now every single post abt palestine is "i dont care how bad your mental health is, i dont care how bad looking at all this makes you feel, if you don't read every single post you see on this topic in full you are a horrible person and directly contributing to their deaths. 'waaaah my mental health' well at least youre not being bombed, did you think about that??" and its like. i absolutely get where youre coming from but you dont get to complain that guilt tripping is bad then turn around and use it anyways because you think the cause youre using it for is worthwhile. like. everyone thinks the cause theyre using it for is worthwhile, thats why theyre using it. but its still a shit way to do it
#like when you make a tumblr post to your tumblr blog youre not guilt tripping people who disagree with you#youre guilt tripping your followers who if theyre still following you probably already agree with what youre saying#and esp on a topic with so much brutality involved like. yeah OBVIOUSLY theres people who have to look away#like. yall know a bunch of these posts and articles and videos show graphic injuries in them right?#like i physically cant watch news videos abt this bc i will spend days with my brain making me imagine#peoples deaths in graphic detail specifically because it knows that will upset me. and i would prefer not to do that#in fact me doing that helps palestinians exactly as much as finishing my brussel sprouts helps starving kids#by which i mean none. its just a cheap guilt trip to get you to do something you don't want to#which when it's brussel sprouts thats whatever but when its 'deliberately expose yourself to extremely triggering#things otherwise youre a bad person'. not so much#idk i feel like maybe its due to ppl feeling. agitated abt not being able to do anything abt it#like the government isnt listening and we're a world away so physically /all/ we can do really is sit and watch#so i can understand a) wanting to find someone to lash out at to alleviate that feeling#like if you cant stop the actual problem at the very least you can shout down the people supporting it right?#and b) seeing 'not watching' or even just 'not watching as closely as i am' as a transgression#bc well its all we can do so if youre not even doing that you must be bad#and its like. i really do get it. but the whole world is watching right now‚ like this is THE big news thing happening rn#so a few people choosing to avoid to subject will not make a single iota of difference#idk. i guess what im saying is if youre feeling the urge to yell at someone for not looking close enough#just donate some money to a support fund instead itll do a lot more
33 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 1 month
Text
...
#sorry im thinking abt death again#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length#unrelated
13 notes · View notes
crescentfool · 2 years
Text
recently, i’ve been thinking about what a 100% social link/confidant run is like from the perspective of the persona protagonists, rather than the player. i’ve always been a sucker for thinking about the type of narrative created by a person’s gameplay choices (it can be so fun and deep) so!! i wrote this analysis / musing.
some notes before we start: this was written with the lens of persona 3 being the most recent game i played- but the concepts are applicable to the p4/p5 protagonists as well! no spoilers for any of the games are mentioned; this is moreso a general discussion of ludonarrative dissonance with the game mechanics and narrative and how it makes for fun angst (ft. personal interpretation).
(more under the cut!)
the framework: game mechanics
in all of the games, the social link system’s existence coincides with the social stats mechanic. certain social links require a specific set of stats in order to initiate it, or surpass a certain rank. each game has around 20 of these- each of which represent the major arcana (+ some bonuses, e.g. aeon / jester / faith / councilor).
for any players going for a 100% social link run, this basically requires each social stat to be maxed out. anyone who’s followed a guide for a 100% run would know that the beginning of the game tends to be very “strict” with how time can be used, most of which involves getting the stats raised  as soon as possible.
outside of characterization and worldbuilding, completing social links are incentivized for a variety of gameplay reasons. so how could this completionist play style affect the protagonists?
prioritizing social stats over everything else: a general view
regardless of which protagonist you want to put under a petri dish, with a 100% run, you’re essentially asking the protagonist to form amicable bonds with 20 or so people, give or take. granted, not everyone becomes adjoined to the hip to the protagonist.
personally, i feel that forming 20 different bonds over the course of a year would be rather strenuous. during these 100% runs, the protagonists may feel that they’re spreading themselves thin trying to dedicate their resources to multiple different people as well as raising their “social stats.” i find the implications that this has on said bonds is so, utterly fascinating.
while this isn’t reflected in the game and would be better represented within a fic, i find it difficult to believe that this type of behavior doesn’t have any ramifications on the quality of the protagonist’s closer relationships (or their self-image, for that matter).
just… imagine calling one of your close friends but then they consistently give responses along the lines of “lmao sorry i’m busy doing other things,” and they rarely make the time of day for you. how would you feel? gameplay-wise, this deterioration of the relationship is best represented in persona 3 with social links reversing if you haven’t spent time with them in awhile.
part of my fascination with this concept is influenced by my own experiences. trying to maintain so many relationships can be difficult to keep up with and it quickly gets overwhelming (see dunbar’s number for more information). jumping between so many people also makes it difficult to focus on a few relationships meaningfully- meaning that relationships may be limited to being simple pleasantries. even then, ‘successfully’ keeping every relationship satisfying comes at the cost of being unable to pursue your own development and interests.
overall, i think that trying to do so many things ends up lowering the quality of the relationship(s) involved, especially when you also consider the fatigue from going to school as well as fighting shadows.
playing the therapist friend / listening role: a general view
another aspect of the 100% run that i think about is how the protagonists rarely open up to other people. a good chunk of SLs follow a storyline of the protagonist acting as a therapist friend/helping the other person through one central issue. some SLs are an exception to this and have a more casual “we’re just hanging out vibe.”
basically, SLs tend to be weighted toward the other character’s growth, moreso than the protagonist’s (which is handled by the main story). that said, the idea of mostly playing a listening role across most of your relationships and not having many that you feel comfortable to speak freely about your own stuff… feels really unbalanced and unhealthy?
i do think that part of the lack of “input” can be attributed to the silent-protagonist approach taken in the games (which is a whole ‘nother topic). but!! i find that each protagonist’s options, while limited, are fun to think about! some of the traits and interpretations i’ve seen for the differing protags, to name a few, include:
being afraid to open up / get attached and keeping people at arm’s distance as a result
needing to be around other people, even if it’s just listening them, to distract from their own struggles / pretend nothing’s wrong with them
enjoying helping others, being a good and careful listener who can provide an appropriate and helpful response
the willingness to prioritize others over themselves; a lack of self-preservation
compulsive people pleasing
at its worst, the lack of “protagonist talking” or equal reciprocation in response could be misinterpreted by the other person as disinterest (like they’re talking to a wall). alternatively- the lack of “personal tidbits” could be taken as, “you don’t trust me enough to be able to open up, huh.” and i just think that seeing this in a fic would be the biggest shitshow ever (and i would read that).
concluding thoughts:
overall, i feel that the protagonists taking a predominantly listening approach to several relationships at once can lead to compassion fatigue and general burnout. the protagonists are rarely at the receiving end of being listened to and/or having their issues worked through… and that’s kind of sad?
while the 100% social link run can provide great power to any persona fusions (and other cool battle abilities + hijinks)... i ultimately think that there’d be a lot of mental strain that would make achieving this much more difficult when you take a narrative-emphasized approach.
i do realize that it is possible to see the general vibe of this post as “100% social link is bad,” but like… there’s something i find really appealing about the messiness of attempting to manage so many relations at once- only to fall short in several of them and attempting to salvage the last bits of their sanity. when you think about the complications of the 100% SL run from the shoes of the protagonist… yeah!! that’s the good shit!
anyways! if anyone knows of any fics with this kinda vibe for the p3/4/5 protags… feel free to drop it in my askbox… i like them all VERY much :3c… and if this raised any food for thought- i’d be equally honored! let the protags go through shit i wanna see their emotions and coping mechanisms damn it! 👏
126 notes · View notes
feral-radfem · 1 year
Text
Oh my God I'm so surprised that super persistent but consistently flawed debater on Tumblr is actually a child. I never saw that coming.
Look, there's things that adults shouldn't say/ topics we shouldnt bring up around children and should be able to create spaces away from them. If I'm being completely honest, radical feminism almost entirely falls in this category of 18+ content. We are constantly talking about sexual violence and other extremely adult topics that aren't appropriate for developing minds to be constantly bombarded with. It's bad for your young minds and it's bad for the movements that you seem to think you care about.
If you want to be a child activist then volunteer for your local community, don't get in online spaces with adults. It's simply not safe for children and creates an unproductive environment for adults. Children will learn better skills and build more fulfilling relationships and achievement doing local community activism anyways.
If you're a minor you need to put that shit somewhere so that we can tell that we're talking to a literal baby. I really don't enjoy this increasing trend of purposely not telling people when y'all are minors because you think that it's going to make people dismiss you, when you having limited life experience is a legitimate limitation on your analysis. You're being deceptive because someone placed a social boundary that you don't want to respect. It's high key gross.
On the same note, different tune, I hope this serves that is a reminder that people can literally be lying, either outright or by omission, about everything they claim about themselves on here. We, people in general, have created the online culture where it's completely normal to lie about important identifying features about ourselves for social clout/elevation. While I know there are some of us that may not participate in this practice, I know plenty of radfems do. We've caught a few doing it red-handed and all they're doing is breeding distrust amongst us in these spaces.
Can y'all not just act like normal honest people?
41 notes · View notes
torchickentacos · 1 year
Text
first, gonna start using #school tag to talk about my classes since the semester is kicking up a bit, so feel free to block that. SECOND I deplore word counts. How do you expect me to accurately sum up the relationships between economy and environment in 300 words. That's not a thing you can do. I cannot accurately explore the economic versus environmental pros and cons of fair trade textile practices in bangladesh in 300 words.
11 notes · View notes