#-ends up contradicting that (or some other thing in reality ends up doing that...). does that even make sense??

[crescentfool]

recently, i’ve been thinking about what a 100% social link/confidant run is like from the perspective of the persona protagonists, rather than the player. i’ve always been a sucker for thinking about the type of narrative created by a person’s gameplay choices (it can be so fun and deep) so!! i wrote this analysis / musing.

some notes before we start: this was written with the lens of persona 3 being the most recent game i played- but the concepts are applicable to the p4/p5 protagonists as well! no spoilers for any of the games are mentioned; this is moreso a general discussion of ludonarrative dissonance with the game mechanics and narrative and how it makes for fun angst (ft. personal interpretation).

(more under the cut!)

the framework: game mechanics

in all of the games, the social link system’s existence coincides with the social stats mechanic. certain social links require a specific set of stats in order to initiate it, or surpass a certain rank. each game has around 20 of these- each of which represent the major arcana (+ some bonuses, e.g. aeon / jester / faith / councilor).

for any players going for a 100% social link run, this basically requires each social stat to be maxed out. anyone who’s followed a guide for a 100% run would know that the beginning of the game tends to be very “strict” with how time can be used, most of which involves getting the stats raised  as soon as possible.

outside of characterization and worldbuilding, completing social links are incentivized for a variety of gameplay reasons. so how could this completionist play style affect the protagonists?

prioritizing social stats over everything else: a general view

regardless of which protagonist you want to put under a petri dish, with a 100% run, you’re essentially asking the protagonist to form amicable bonds with 20 or so people, give or take. granted, not everyone becomes adjoined to the hip to the protagonist.

personally, i feel that forming 20 different bonds over the course of a year would be rather strenuous. during these 100% runs, the protagonists may feel that they’re spreading themselves thin trying to dedicate their resources to multiple different people as well as raising their “social stats.” i find the implications that this has on said bonds is so, utterly fascinating.

while this isn’t reflected in the game and would be better represented within a fic, i find it difficult to believe that this type of behavior doesn’t have any ramifications on the quality of the protagonist’s closer relationships (or their self-image, for that matter).

just… imagine calling one of your close friends but then they consistently give responses along the lines of “lmao sorry i’m busy doing other things,” and they rarely make the time of day for you. how would you feel? gameplay-wise, this deterioration of the relationship is best represented in persona 3 with social links reversing if you haven’t spent time with them in awhile.

part of my fascination with this concept is influenced by my own experiences. trying to maintain so many relationships can be difficult to keep up with and it quickly gets overwhelming (see dunbar’s number for more information). jumping between so many people also makes it difficult to focus on a few relationships meaningfully- meaning that relationships may be limited to being simple pleasantries. even then, ‘successfully’ keeping every relationship satisfying comes at the cost of being unable to pursue your own development and interests.

overall, i think that trying to do so many things ends up lowering the quality of the relationship(s) involved, especially when you also consider the fatigue from going to school as well as fighting shadows.

playing the therapist friend / listening role: a general view

another aspect of the 100% run that i think about is how the protagonists rarely open up to other people. a good chunk of SLs follow a storyline of the protagonist acting as a therapist friend/helping the other person through one central issue. some SLs are an exception to this and have a more casual “we’re just hanging out vibe.”

basically, SLs tend to be weighted toward the other character’s growth, moreso than the protagonist’s (which is handled by the main story). that said, the idea of mostly playing a listening role across most of your relationships and not having many that you feel comfortable to speak freely about your own stuff… feels really unbalanced and unhealthy?

i do think that part of the lack of “input” can be attributed to the silent-protagonist approach taken in the games (which is a whole ‘nother topic). but!! i find that each protagonist’s options, while limited, are fun to think about! some of the traits and interpretations i’ve seen for the differing protags, to name a few, include:

being afraid to open up / get attached and keeping people at arm’s distance as a result

needing to be around other people, even if it’s just listening them, to distract from their own struggles / pretend nothing’s wrong with them

enjoying helping others, being a good and careful listener who can provide an appropriate and helpful response

the willingness to prioritize others over themselves; a lack of self-preservation

compulsive people pleasing

at its worst, the lack of “protagonist talking” or equal reciprocation in response could be misinterpreted by the other person as disinterest (like they’re talking to a wall). alternatively- the lack of “personal tidbits” could be taken as, “you don’t trust me enough to be able to open up, huh.” and i just think that seeing this in a fic would be the biggest shitshow ever (and i would read that).

concluding thoughts:

overall, i feel that the protagonists taking a predominantly listening approach to several relationships at once can lead to compassion fatigue and general burnout. the protagonists are rarely at the receiving end of being listened to and/or having their issues worked through… and that’s kind of sad?

while the 100% social link run can provide great power to any persona fusions (and other cool battle abilities + hijinks)... i ultimately think that there’d be a lot of mental strain that would make achieving this much more difficult when you take a narrative-emphasized approach.

i do realize that it is possible to see the general vibe of this post as “100% social link is bad,” but like… there’s something i find really appealing about the messiness of attempting to manage so many relations at once- only to fall short in several of them and attempting to salvage the last bits of their sanity. when you think about the complications of the 100% SL run from the shoes of the protagonist… yeah!! that’s the good shit!

anyways! if anyone knows of any fics with this kinda vibe for the p3/4/5 protags… feel free to drop it in my askbox… i like them all VERY much :3c… and if this raised any food for thought- i’d be equally honored! let the protags go through shit i wanna see their emotions and coping mechanisms damn it! 👏

#persona 3 #persona 4 #persona 5 #yes it is 3am and im posting this. i couldn't sleep so i wanted to write something that i've been thinking abt as of late :x #highly recommend looking up ludonarrative dissonance btw! if ur interested in game storywriting its SOO interesting bc its definitely- #an occurence that happens every now and then in a video game. persona included. like.. when game mechanics tell one story but the narrative #-ends up contradicting that (or some other thing in reality ends up doing that...). does that even make sense?? #i tried to keep this post general to p3/4/5 but if you know me well enough you'll see how my p3 bias has shaped this post. lmao #i also could go on a tangent about how i feel about orpheus telos as a thing w/rt p3 social links BUT I WONT. unless...? #i have more i want to say on the topic (maybe will do so at a later time) but feel free to ask for more specific hcs with the protags? #maybe not p4kun though just bc ive only watched p4 so i havent had the time to let it sit btwn play sessions #anyway bye im just going to let this float in the void while i sleep. have a good day #meta #hc and au nonsense #lizzy speaks

[yanderenightmare]

I have an honest question and I don't want to sound rude or anything at all but what's so interesting about CNC. Like I see people hype it up but to me it just feels like romanticizing r4pe..I'm not really into CNC so I can't talk bad or downplay whatever they do but I'm just asking because I want to understand it better.

A question I, by no means, can answer perfectly. However, in the spirit of philosophy and amateur psychology, I will lay unto you, ye who have keen ears, my theories.

Now, I am in no way a psychiatrist. However, as I am a woman who does a great deal of fantasizing and further thinking of what I fantasize about, I thought I might assume the role of a sexologist as it is no protected title.

I’ve long wondered why we (women) fantasize about things that would appall us if manifested in reality. It makes little sense that an act so ruining in practice should make us feel fulfilled when the mere thought of it is humored.

In the vast complexities of psychology, no matter how much I drink of its depths, I can’t seem to get my fill enough to understand it. Trying to figure out female arousal is like pulling hair from a clogged gutter and trying to undo all the knots. It’s a web of contradictions.

However…

First theory – there are cultural reasons. If we accept the inbuilt instincts of old and the instincts we adopt through media while growing up – all in all, the great history of aggressive men dominating passive women – we are conditioned to accept that this is what romance looks like.

Second theory – there are the emotional reasons. The "Beauty and the Beast" motif – featuring classic co-dependency. Women submit to abuse because we have an inbuilt need to nurture others – so when we love men who require to abuse and own us in order to love us, we somehow forget to protect ourselves in favor of loving them, which in this case means allowing them to abuse and own us. It's warped.

Third theory – there are psychological reasons. In fantasies and writing or viewing, we get to reframe traumatic experiences in a positive light or rework traumatic experiences in a safe environment – a form of psychological self-defense, much like Stockholm Syndrome or a type of self-inflicted Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Fourth theory – research has also been conducted regarding physiological reasons. Here, we have another inbuilt self-defense mechanism – a seldom talked-about phenomenon – which shows that women tend to become physically aroused when they sense any possibility of sexual aggression in their environment – in order to lower their chance of injury if they are raped.

Through all this, I believe one can narrow fantasies of rough or non-consensual sex into something as paradoxical and polar as having a wish for control and a wish to relent oneself of it. And coming to this conclusion, I realized that such is the pursuit of many, even in endeavors not of the erotic kind.

Humans wish to have control just as much as humans disdain having control. This is why BDSM (bondage, domination, sadism, masochism) kinks and fetishes are found in some shape or form in nearly every romantic or sexual relationship in existence. You’ll have the dominant partner wishing to achieve control over a submissive partner wishing to relinquish control through such means of domination, humiliation, pain, and pleasure.

But it’s more complex than that, isn’t it? 

Yes. Because, contradictory – a submissive partner may wish for control, and a dominant partner may wish to lose it. Human beings are an unyielding paradox where we flex across contrasting aims with no means to an end.

Yes, we wish for control, yet disdain having it. Perhaps we find the answer to this paradox in maintaining control by losing it?

Moreover… how does this relate to nonconsensual sex fantasies?

Here, we get a fifth theory containing the ego – a spin-off of a kind from the third theory. Here we find the wish for control, where, in the lustful fantasy realm, non-consensual sex bolsters a woman's feelings of seductiveness and desirability in the way it has the power to make a man lose his decency and self-control, driving him to commit crimes of passion despite ill consequences of losing his pride and honor as a man – also, ultimately, risking getting sent to prison. 

Put simply, some women enjoy the idea of being irresistible enough to drive even a good man crazy. The thought of being attractive enough to make a man love-sick and the power and control that follows it is, in this case, a turn-on.

A sixth theory – another spin-off from the third theory – is that fantasies of rape allow women to reduce the distress associated with sex, as they are not, in this scenario, responsible for what occurs. Moreover, the logic here states that when one is forced into something, they’ll have a lesser need to feel guilt or shame about acting out their own sexual desires.

Put simply, some women wish to maintain their innocence despite having carnal desires only satiated by means of sinful acts. 

This begs another question.

Is this a lingering feeling of guilt and shame around female sexuality?

Of course! Women are constantly met with disdain when open about their sluttiness.

So, are fantasies of nonconsensual sex a type of projection they do because of this?

In some cases, yes!

Transferring our own sexual desires unto another gives us permission to act them out without feeling guilty or dirty – because, inside this fantasy, it isn’t us committing the indecencies.

... Okay then...

Summing up theories five and six:

Control. To feel wanted, lusted for, obsessed over, and coveted by others. The power of driving someone to lovesick desire, a frenzied state, where they would do anything, even illegal, to have you. Additionally, despite such harsh cases of ego, wanting none of the responsibility for it, wanting to be free of sin, to maintain innocence and purity in light of such dark desires.

Or is there a seventh theory? One found in our idyllic construct of freedom – this aimless goal of ours to make ourselves appreciate breathing – done by balancing the electric powerline between having and losing control.

Is it this act of switching places, the attraction and pull, the stimuli and response, the attack and retaliation? In the chaos of contradictions and uncertainty, we find a thrill that occupies our otherwise hibernating minds – bored to the degree that we become machines in our daily programs. 

Is it simply that we need a little extremity as a remedy for our dull lives?

Do we fall in love with illegal things simply because we are denied them? Simply because they’re illegal? Self-harm, drug use, gambling, murder, rape…

Are these things a part of us? And are we, without them, left feeling unfulfilled? Is The Purge perhaps onto something vitally important? A cure for boredom, this mediocrity that leaves us feeling so blue?

I think, if I were to find a comparison, it’s quite similar to the blind bounds of excitement others ascend to in the midst of playing violent video games. The rush of falling in and out of enemy territory, of danger and safety, from being a predator to becoming the prey, of victory and defeat, of chasing death only to be comforted by one’s remaining life – because in reality, you're safe and sound in front of a screen.

Also, in other cases - rollercoasters, horror movies, extreme sports, etc...

Yes, the wish to trip in and out of control isn’t limited to the realm of lust but is present in most aspects of life. We find it in extreme cases such as drugs, gambling, gaming, relationships, and in other subtle cases of professions and work.

If you don’t like it, that’s your business, and I wish you the best of luck in lust elsewhere.

On another note – and such another warning and disclaimer – I want you not to accept my tales of lust as love stories. Personally, I think hints of toxic displays such as jealousy, obsession, and possession in a partner are natural – but – a difference is made when such feelings become restricting to a degree you no longer feel free. I implore you to make such distinctions for yourself when regarding yourself – and, in extreme cases, when regarding others.

In said regard, I do not condone the events nor the actions of the characters in my stories – neither offender nor victim. Don’t allow yourself to fall prey to toxic partners! The signs are always there – keep a weathered eye out for them.

And no, I’m not blaming those who’ve allowed themselves to stay in toxic relationships. I, myself, am guilty of that. But I won’t excuse my poor judgment either. You know when something doesn’t feel right. We shouldn’t blur the lines of right and wrong in the name of love – or whatever else we may lend our self-control to – such as religion, culture, family, societal pressure, etc...

You are in control. Don’t forget it. And don’t allow anything else to become the case.

#nightmare rambles #discussion

[kenananamin]

Nanami watching a reality show

a very short list of hcs about nanami kento watching a reality show bc i was watching jersey shore, the hills, and sister wives and wondered what he would think about those shows and reality shows in general lol enjoy!

always avoided watching them bc gojo gave him enough drama and he did not want more

passes you the control and tells you to put whatever you'd like since he was gonna finish his report and read his newspaper for a bit

you put on a reality show, and he doesn't do it but he feels like groaning just from hearing the cast speak

he's a quarter of the way in one section of the newspaper when he hears some of the juiciest comebacks he has ever heard in his life

he doesn't lift his head the whole way but he watches the tv for a bit under his eyebrows

the thing is, nanami is a lowkey chismoso aka nosy

he skims through the rest of the newspaper and closes it and leans back w you to watch. you ask if he wants to change it and get ready to pass him the remote but he stops you and says to keep watching it bc he's getting up in a bit to make lunch anyways

does not get up to make lunch, y'all end up ordering in and nanami asks who each person is 10 times before finally (kinda) remembering names and understanding the dynamics

he'll shake his head and quietly mumble, "damn, that so messy" or "why would anyone in their right mind do that?"

is very shocked at half the things they do or say, but tries to hold in his laughter when someone says something ridiculous

quickly has nicknames for the cast and has his favorites

strongly dislikes the instigator and sits on the edge of the couch when someone stands up to them... but also looks forward to what the instigator does next

watches 90 day fiancé w you and grunts about the episode length but quietly watches... and enjoys

watches 90 day fiancé the other way and enjoys the way americans complain

can only watch a bit everyday and compares reality shows to medication, can only do so much at a time

will later ask which shows you've watched and looks them up when he's alone

will give you updates on the casts after looking them up on social media. "did you know she got married? i think they'll cover that in the next season?"

takes mental notes of contradictions and reminds you of these contradictions during the reunions

feels himself getting irrationally upset at some of these people and has to remind himself it might be scripted

will eventually ask if you'd like to watch a more wholesome reality show to balance out the dramatic ones

later falls into the hole of survival shows

gets a bit sulky if you watch the shows without him

hates to admit that he wants to get back home and watch one of these shows

quietly asks if you'd like to have a weekly reality show day w him where you can relax all day (or most of it at least) and have snacks, order in and just watch watch and comment on these shows

these end up being one of his favorite moments of the week w you, snuggling and enjoying brain rotting television

extras about certain shows:

prays that angelina is removed from the shore house, that sammi and ron separate for their own good, and mike gets the help he needs (is happy when it all happens except for when angelina comes back in the family vacation spin-off)

lowkey wants to rewatch the hills after the ending leaves him wondering how scripted the entire show was (you go back to explain the drama behind that and how it was mtv poking fun at it all)

has given up on trying to learn the names of the kids in sister wives. knows their faces, not their names. feels like he has personal beef with kody. wants to catch up on all recent drama.

#nanami kento #jjk nanami #jjk nanami kento #nanami #nanami x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen nanami #jujutsu kaisen nanami kento #jujutsu nanami #kento nanami #jjk nanami x reader #jjk nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fluff #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen fluff #nanami kento fluff #nanami fluff #nanami jjk #nanamin #nanami x you #nanami x y/n #jjk x reader #nanamin fluff #nanami kento headcanons #nanami headcanons #jjk hcs #jjk headcanons

[darkcircles4lyfe]

Life after NDE

Before reading, please see this post. It’s where I first explored the possibility that what we think we know about One for All is unreliable. It also ends with my own guesses about how Katsuki plays into it all. Now, with chapter 404, I can continue where it left off.

There are a lot of different tangents floating around here that I need to bring together for you, so let’s start with what came to light in this newest chapter. There’s a clear emphasis on Toshinori’s vestige form:

but did you catch the slight of hand?

How about now?

As soon as I saw the panels where Shigaraki talks about how the vestige is taking full form, I was practically shouting “OBJECTION” Ace Attorney-style, because they were a complete contradiction to how we were made to understand vestiges in chapter 304 (oh hey look, exactly 100 chapters ago!). Back then, it was suggested to us that Toshinori was special because of his quirklessness, that it allowed him to imprint upon OFA in a way that none of the other previous users could. In contrast, Shigaraki makes it seem like Toshi is no different from the rest. Like oh yeah, this is just how it works, they aren’t fully formed until they die, right? Hello?? No? I thought we were assuming the vestiges didn't have to do with actual souls, apart from Toshi? Given Shigaraki’s own brand of unreliability in his immature frame of mind, I found myself wondering: is he making an assumption, or is he letting slip a secret bit of information about OFA? Idk man, OFA wasn’t even doing this whole vestige thing until like a few months ago, so.

Either way, we can observe the change. As Toshinori’s lifeforce fades, he appears in OFA. I’m left with the simple observation that if he were truly different from the other vestiges because of his quirklessness, it would not have happened this way, since OFA doesn’t have Toshi’s own unique quirk factor to work with, but rather the other way around. You would have expected his vestige to stay the same, or possibly disappear altogether, since it was ostensibly exclusively based on the influence of a living consciousness.

That exception to the rule described in 304 never sat right with me anyway, and I’m not convinced that OFA contains mere memories of its previous users via their quirks just like AFO does. Sure, it’s nice and edgy to imagine that OFA/AFO are more similar than they are different, deep down. But poetic opposites are more interesting to me: AFO isolates by taking, while OFA connects by giving. Previous OFA users give themselves to their successors. One for All was “truly born” not when All for One tossed Yoichi a stolen consolation, but when 2nd extended his hand. There is something distinctly emotional and personal about that. Nana was right—it is kinda romantic.

Because Toshinori kept living, because Izuku has meaningful relationships, that chain of giving linked down through OFA was finally brought to light, like a circuit that’s being closed. At least, that’s how I see it. That’s pretty much what I talked about in my previous post.

Back then I also suggested that this theory of personal connection in some way explains Katsuki apparently having a vestige. Since chapter 403, where Toshinori describes his legacy as being embodied in both Izuku AND Katsuki, I was reminded of how Toshinori was gradually shown this over the course of the manga, as he came to understand Katsuki and his relationship to Izuku, how they are inseparable.

When Toshinori was inspired to pass OFA on to Izuku as he witnessed him trying to save Katsuki, he had no idea the two boys even knew each other. What he saw as a random act of selflessness was in reality a desperate manifestation of a connection that extended beyond memory, of osananajimi. With the eyes of traditional heroism, one could choose to see this as Toshinori’s fatal mistake, that he accidentally chose a successor with a “weakness” of personal attachment, but we all know that heroic isolation isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. No, I think Toshinori made precisely the right choice.

This is going to seem like it’s coming out of nowhere, but bear with me: you know how we still haven’t been told how the first OFA transfer happened? I feel almost silly admitting this, but I think it absolutely had to have been done instinctually, because it’s just too damn specific. As in, they didn’t know what they were doing or what it would accomplish, but they did it anyway. As in. They moved. Without thinking.

Toshinori didn’t fully consciously understand what he was seeing when Izuku ran to Katsuki, but deep within OFA, perhaps he recognized something familiar.

What if, somehow, without knowing it, Toshinori gave One for All to two people? His conviction and intent to give it was inspired by Izuku’s connection to Katuski. Yes, the transfer is inherently physical, but it also relies on mental assertion. Plus, how we think the transfer works may also be an assumption (again, the first time it happened was probably on instinct). Let me break it down even more: Toshi probably thought, as he passed OFA on, “I’m giving it to a successor who has my same balance of heroism—save to win, win to save.” But, in reality, Izuku relies on Katsuki for that balance, as his image of victory. Therefore I think I can argue that their relationship is irrevocably bound within the pact of the OFA transfer. Maybe because Katsuki’s part of OFA is based on emotional connection, once that connection is reciprocated…

…the full extent of that dual transfer is awakened.

I understand I’m making a lot of logical leaps here, but there has to be some sort of explanation for the Katsuki we see at the point of his death, talking to Toshinori’s vestige. I used to think it meant Katsuki had a vestige too. But then why are Katsuki and Toshinori alone, and without Izuku knowing? Moreover, why didn’t Katsuki materialize from the metaphysical mist around Izuku when he died, just as Toshinori did here?

Here comes the other thing I realized in 404. The simplest explanation may be that Katsuki isn’t a vestige at all, but rather he was visiting the OFA interior just as Izuku has done in his sleep or in a coma. Because he’s not a previous user, he’s a current user. The sequence of Toshinori’s NDE (near death experience) in 404, the way it manifested externally around Izuku as something Izuku was aware of, rather than internally within OFA from Toshinori’s point of view, shows me that what happened to Katsuki was different.

A lot of us have been speculating that Katsuki “has access to” OFA in some form or another for quite some time now, but I think the way the idea is suggested in 403/404 is an important distinction because it specifies the mode of connection. To me, it matters that they have two halves of a whole given to each of them, as opposed to, “the chosen one + his sidekick with a little extra OFA boost.” This puts them on equal ground, and it implies that the closer they become, the stronger One for All will be against All for One. It promises that these two idiots who have been toeing around each other and leaving things unspoken for so long will have to really face the facts of their relationship.

One last thing: you might be wondering why the other vestiges apparently haven’t picked up on what’s going on and told Izuku. Well, Yoichi may have felt it? (Where has he been?) But also, Toshinori is the only one directly involved, the only one who realizes his legacy is carried by two. Up until this point his connection to his vestige self has been limited, sort of one-way. For example, he could tell the other vestiges about his research into OFA, but in return he could only faintly pick up on things, and only while Izuku was unconscious.

The time Toshinori spent as a full vestige was brief, but I’m sure it was enough to learn some things about where the shade of himself has been. Even if I’m wrong about everything else, I bet he can give us the answers now.

#bnha 404 #bnha 403 #mha #bnha manga #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #all might #yagi toshinori #midoriya izuku #Bakugou Katsuki #bkdk #bakudeku #dkbk #dekubaku #lin speaks #meta

[apas-95]

why do usamerican anarchists even want to cook bathtub insulin like regulations on drug manufacturing just arent exploitative relationships

the only reason anyone ever does anything incorrectly is the profit motive. if you took away all safety regulations and threw a bunch of random people into a machine shop and asked them to build medical equipment they'd do so perfectly safely and correctly, because why would they Want to do otherwise?

i joke, obviously, but that's the thought process - it's fundamentally an extension of idealism: for a politics that otherwise completely ignores the material necessities and restrictions placed on political organisation and the measures they require to apply to the real world, in favour of, essentially 'if everyone just agrees with us our ideas will win', it shouldn't be that surprising that that extends to production.

in reality, of course, there are factors outside direct human control, and the implementation of safety regulations and inspections are an incredibly obvious and necessary measure - *but*, once you accept that, the question is then 'what good are safety regulations without any form of enforcement?', which, for anyone concerned with simply the task of bettering life for the working class, would prompt a response of 'oh, you're right, we'll need some form of enforcement, then.' for a lot of people, that's the end of their relationship with anarchism.

however, the underlying motives that generate these politics - as, in general, idealist political philosophies disconnected from reality don't simply spring up by themselves - aren't about the task of bettering life for the working class. fundamentally, the interests of these worldviews are those of the small-producer, the middle class: they promote a utopia where everyone is a small business owner (whether in a commune or a 'free market'), and, providing no real method to achieve these utopias, function mainly to drive these middle classes away from their character as labourers, and towards their privileges. the question of 'authority', a nebulous concept, has always been specifically the existence of any authority *over the small-producer's enterprise*. it's for *that* reason that, when the idea of 'authority' comes into contradiction with the task of improving the lives of the working people, some *do* decide that 'authority' is more important.

there is no such thing as a definite 'left' and 'right wing' - there are left wings and right wings of individual classes, but they both share more in class interest than they often do with their counterparts of other classes. libertarianism, in all its forms, is a middle class ideology, and shares its flaws - any jab against libertarians works just as well, 'who'll build the roads', 'would you need a driver's license', 'how will you ensure medicine is produced safely', etc.

when faced with these problems, people not married to the need to avoid 'authority' will simply accept the ideology is flawed - there are people who are pre-emptively 'anti-state', but fundamentally, their opponents are not 'pro-state', just practical. the anarchists are the only people coming to the table with a pre-existing, overriding position about 'authority' and the role of the state, and they're willing to abandon all practicalities to support it. functional regulations on medicine production *have* to be considered authoritarian, because that's the point of the ideology.

[chiptrillino]

How the hell do you find every accurate representative culture fashion for the avatar gang? Like it pains me the hell how people this good and hardworking can find these gorgeous cultural clothes and accessories and draw them so well and detailed like you- TELL ME YOUR SECRETS (Please)

idk about accurate. at the end it is still a fantasy world inspired by real life cultures contrasting or soothed out to fit a charakter personality and traits. listen if i spot an option to have a older fire lord zuko with his titts chest out i will go for it and nothing can stop me not even accuracy i say this as if i didn't already do it in private with seethrough material hahah

there is not much secrets behind it though, sorry its research, fact checking. often even the most random things. at least that is my method. you go to google and type in what you need and would like to know. read the wikipedia article for some general understanding on the topic but them go to the source part and check these out. or like double check these. if reading is not your thing there are lots of dedicated youtubers or ticktockers that love to share and explain parts of their culture or tradtions (clothing included. depends on what you research.) contemporary to that or after that you build up your visual library by collecting images on pinterest, or google or websites covering the topic you are researching. make your own folders or pin boards.

an amazing blog for atla real life culture sources is of course or beloved: @atlaculture blog!

https://www.tumblr.com/atlaculture who recently began to dedicate some post in flashing out more water tribe and air normad cusine, also instruments. its a delight to read through.

of course you have an easier time with some research than with other. some things are clear others a contradicting some are barley documented. it is also necessary to have an occasional reality check. like reread your sources see if there is something new. replace what you misunderstood before. don't always go for what looks pretty and aesthetically good to you. there is a reason why things looked like they did. was it the material, was it protection, was it culture.

a part looking at contemporary photography i personally preffere to look at how people liked to depict themself at that time. Statues, wall painting, illustration, old fotos from that time and compare them to current pictures to see how they used to stylize this element or to see what was essential to them. thats probably my old art-history phase flaring up again though hahah. at the end it is also how you Interpret and headcanon the atla world for yourself. before i were able to redesign jet i had to figure out how i want to draw fire nation armor. because to me jet repuporses a lot of the armor from the enemy. a shin guard will be used as an arm protection. the red shirt he wears is fire nation, a shoulder guard that fits will just be used as it is. i just assume that FN armor is better in being fire resistent than earth kingdoms ones.

but fire nation armor is a chellenge on its own again. because is it tang dynasty? is it song? but the collar protector is a typical thai armor element. how do i combine that? is there a history behind it?

speaking about armor what would be the southern water tribe one? if it is lamellar ivory armor, how and why does it look so different by season 3 at the day of the black sun? did the southern water fleet separated form their home begin to adopt EK styles. switching out kuspuk and parkas in for sleeveless wrap shirts and armor with inside plating like they have in ba sing se? because that what was aviable to them?

(appart everything the talk of armor is in general really curious because... what do you wear when you go in to fight against fire??? in the poles you can argure that it is not a concern. if you burn you roll in the snow but in the EK... hm.. they dont have fancy heat resistand clothing like fire fighters have now.... armor is ment to cushion off impact and or slicing. our standard armors conzept can work well against earth-, water- and air bending (to some degree) but fire burns what do you idealy do against that? leather helps to some degree)

while the southern water tribe is clearly circumpolar people inspired (although lacking lots of world-building which you can kind of excusing it with... the war destroyed everything but also... uh.... its a nearly 20 year old show.... ) the northern water tribe shows korean or even mongolian elements. so what do you want to focus on? i personally like to make things connect because these characters live in one world togheter and trade and exchange happens. (yes even during a 100 year war or at least there had to have been a time of influence and the lack of exchange froze(*snorts*) this culture in time) you know... migration? and transition of style and life through out history.

maybe i overthink things to much for just drawing some clothes... -srugs-

#chip!ask #chip!talks #atla #atla worldbuilding #honestly i probably ended up rambeling here to much... #but yeha reasearch is just.... the key? #like for everything? #sorry #tbh don't ask me stuff because i still don't know things.... i know things but i am in this you know.... #i know what i don't know - mode #and i don't know a lot and i am just drawing fanarts with a 40+ hours job on the side #i know some! #i guess #which makes me wonder world building kind of stuff... #like how is the EK palace layouted form the inside #whathappend to the AN aerias after the got whiped out #what consequences does the lack of airbender have to the world in sense of conection and exchange #were there really only bending airbenders? #are there still people out that belive in airbender philosophy #like the bending form died but people that lived near by still have similar dress food traditons and belives like the AN did? #is FN stuck in time too? because the royal clothing is tang and song styled but EK in BSS the fashion progressed into qing style #did kyoshi trade blue dye or blue fabric with the southern water tribe regularly before war? #trading pelt for fabric? #just... migration patterns??? #yes? no? uhm.... okay i shut up now...

[scarwasright]

FMA is a weird, special case study in the limitations and pitfalls of the way fandoms create bodies of work.

The trends and tropes of fanwork tend to focus on individual character relationships-- how characters feel about each other, with little or no emphasis on the broader context of those feelings. In a setting with low stakes or simple politics, this is fine. This is why I think AUs that sand off the edges of worldbuilding are so popular. They skip the more difficult foundational Stuff in favor of a quicker, and I would argue much less impactful, catharsis.

The relationships (friendly, antagonistic, familial, romantic, sexual, some combination of these,) are primary in fandom, and everything surrounding them is just set dressing that exists in service to the characters being centered.

In a vacuum, this is generally Fine. Is it intellectually rigorous? No, usually not, but not all art needs to be. Chicken nuggets are perfectly fine with a well balanced diet.

BUT,

This is also how we end up with decades of fanworks that tastelessly recycle a genocide that is foundational to FMA's canon lore into "that thing that makes Roy and Riza sad, sometimes." The "because they did it" is usually in fine print off to the side, unexamined and unacknowledged for the weight it ought to reasonably carry. It's just Angst Set Dressing.

FMA is in no small part about how the people who do the worst things that we can conceive of are still people. "Humanization" is often taken with the assumption that sympathy is being demanded of the viewer, but it is, in truth, just a reflection of reality. People who condone, uphold, and carry out systemic violence are people. This is an important message to internalize for those who are privileged under violent systems. The violent actor is not some mysterious Other. They could be someone you look up to. They could be you.

This is why it's thematically important that Ed gets kicked out of an inn for flashing his watch, which to him, until that point, was an all-access pass. This is why the conclusion of his character arc is that his choices do not exist in a vacuum, even though his privilege offers him the chance to pretend that they do. This is why it's thematically satisfying for Roy to not become the Fuhrer, but to kill him. This is why it really isn't all that surprising that AU Hughes is a Nazi.

FMA03 does not allow the viewer to conveniently disengage with the fact that its protagonists and the people they look up to operate in support an apartheid state. This is literally what the show is about.

Fandom, meanwhile, is almost exclusively about disengaging from that discomfort. This is partially why, back when I was more active in talking about this series and its characters, many people took my pointing out this dissonance as a personal attack. This is why fandom, for all its noise-making about being an escapist counter-culture, is overwhelmingly white. We self-select for it, driving out Black and brown and indigenous voices who object to this willful disengagement from the themes deemed too Icky and Difficult to be meaningfully addressed in our fan works. "It's just shipping, why are you Starting Discourse?" or "I just like these characters and don't like those ones, it's not that deep."

Fandom is deeply averse to critical thought. This will never not feel like a bizarre contradiction to me, but there isn't a nice way to paint it. I know I'm not saying anything new, but the unique manifestation of it in my corner of the internet feels like a case study for why mashing barbies together isn't devoid of context, no matter how hard a given author or artist tries to make it so.

#meta #I guess

[daevstroders]

i was smoking some top tier jake english crack ln and had some thoughts and much to ponder when i woke up so have some alloaro jake musings under the cut.

there is always the underlying element of not right not enough yet perfectly aligned and too much with these two. and i think what makes the alloaro jake narrative (which to ignore would be like ignoring his feminine coding imho (that is: impossible) really interesting is Love (capitalised to emphasise romantic from here on out, love sans capitalisation is not to be taken as romantic) is only what he believes it is, what he thinks it should be. what he's seen in his movies, of which he doesn't care for - he watches ACTION FILMS and SUPERHERO FLICKS, john and karkat are the ones who engage most with romcoms - and the kind of love he experiences is not the Love he equates to being 'real'.

everyone's experiences with aromanticism are different, and i think from jake's perspective its more so about his ideals of Love not matching his experiences. he's not shown to have anything more than passing interest and sexual encounters with others in the narrative, save dirk, and that is a whole shitstorm he can hardly bear to think about. its easier to renounce Love itself because to delve into these things would be to self reflect and jake english does Not. self reflect.

his love is destructive and selfish and reactive and obsessive and consuming. the kind where its you are Mine (and i guess that has to make me yours). i'll follow you to the ends of the earth because you're the only one who understands me and doesn't ask more from me than i'm capable of, but i won't force myself to appreciate the parts of you i detest and i don't expect you to do that either. the kind where i enjoy having you around but the domestic ideal i've seen sounds fucking boring and not something i'm capable of or want to be. i love you but i don't Love you. its more than i feel for anyone else and its too much, yet it is still not enough.

vs dirk who believes that his obsession and devotion is what Love is. he is the god of his own reality and the only word he can place on this emotion IS Love because he doesn't know anything else. he's just so much more intense than the rest, it doesnt matter if they don't understand it, because its Raw and Visceral and Real, more than their washed out depictions of Love. he's the same in the sense that the domestic Love for him is fucking boring and unsuited to his tastes but that doesn't make his Love lesser, it makes theirs. he again wants jake to be His but has a hard time accepting that to do so would make him jake's. they both want to possess and consume the other without allowing themselves to be possessed and consumed in return.

i just think both of them have incredibly thwarted ways of experiencing affection and the way they think about Love influences their perspective on the emotion. this is why jake so readily accepts his love isn't Love, assumes roxy's feelings for dirk are more real than his because the feelings there are selfless, unconditional, and passive. which aligns with what we are taught about Love, that it is hard work and unselfish and placing trust in another etc. his feelings are selfish, conditional, and active. he wouldn't want to put the hard work in to make something work with dirk because that would require self reflection, to accept difficult things about himself and accept unpalatable things about dirk. he wouldn't feel the same about dirk if he didn't keep him on his toes, fuck him around mentally and physically, he'd be as blase about the man as he is every other proposed Love interest. he can't sit still and let dirk move on without having his say, he needs to keep what's Mine while still trying to shy away from being His. everything he feels is a contradiction to what he assumes Love to be, therefore he can't Love. whereas as stated with dirk he assumes his Love to be real because it is so much more than what the ideal is portrayed to be like.

and i'm not going to go into it entirely because this is already so long but theres a link here to the cherubs i think. besides the dirk splinters and the english influence, the foundation of a cherub is two dichotomous beings sharing a body which i think is so so representative of dirkjake. they both live on inside one and another, they aren't soul mates or two halves of a whole, they are simply one. and the nature of cherub reproduction and 'romance' is so far removed from what humans would consider 'romance' which is the kind of romance that can be found in dirkjake but in a minor key instead of a major if that makes sense. same tune different sounds.

hussie consistently tries to challenge mainstream ideals of Love through quadrants cherub reproduction leprechauns etc so having a cosmically fated couple actually not fall anywhere on the scale of stereotypical Love is so incredibly on brand.

tldr maybe they are in Love. or maybe what they have is something different. and that is so cool.

#screams from the top of my lungs i love jake english #smashinf bottles over my head clawing the skin off my face eating glass the lot #ty to the discord server im in for this one. real galaxy brain dirkjakers you fuel me #jake english #dirk strider #dirkjake #alloaro jake musings #homestuck #sloan writes

[whoiwanttoday]

The world is often full of some inherent contradictions that make it hard to navigate. Experience is really the only compass we have, which is why in theory we should listen to our elders but in reality a lot of them have dementia and the truth is an experienced dipshit is still a dipshit, so if you are young you don't really have the experience to tell which else is wizened and which one is just old and bitter. Like drugs are a good example. I grew up in an era where we sure were told a lot about how bad drugs were. I remember this one PSA where it was a guy in profile and he started talking aobut trying pot and the top of his head turned to ash, then he did more drugs and more of him turned to ash and eventually he like died in a gutter and all ash and got blown away at the end. It's scary stuff but as you get older you see other people do drugs and they don't choke on their own vomit at all. Instead Jessica Miles makes out with them. It's not at all what the PSAs warned us about and you start to feel a little lied to when you realize drugs actually make you feel good and if you do them then people think that you're cool. Obviously, it takes time to know there are degrees to all of this. You can do all the lines of coke you want off of a computer desk at 7 AM while sitting in your underwear and writing about who you want to fuck today and pretty much no one will think that you're cool, so context still matters but it is one of those inherent things that meant I saw a lot of people swing too far one way and then the other in response to this sort of thing.

Anyway, I was thinking about this and how we can really vacillate too far one way or another and Anne Hathaway and Christopher Nolan. Nolan recently said he didn't know what the line meant, "You either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain" meant when he put it in the movie and I am with him there, like I kind of got it but it felt like a cumbersome line and no one had ever said that before so why did they act like it was a common saying. People say it now though and boy does it resonate as we as a culture turn on things and people. Anne Hathaway said in an interview about how hard it was when the internet turned on her. I remember that. I never quite got it but I was told it was because I wanted to fuck her so I was blinded to what a monster she is I guess. I'd love to counter this claim but my dating history makes it pretty clear that this is entirely possible. Anyway, I don't want to discount the possibility that Anne Hathaway is a monster but the truth is none of us know. She's certainly not our friend and I am willing to believe I would find most celebrities unbearable in person. This is just because they live in a world where they are surrounded by people who makes sure they know they are the center of the universe and I don't really know how that doesn't turn someone into an asshole. Like I have a ZZ Plant in my kitchen named Spencer. He's named Spencer because someone once told me plants are supposed to have names so I named him Spencer. Then they told me that's a stupid name and I said, "You're mom's stupid". We both laughed like it was a joke but I kept the name Spencer just to tweak her and I hope deep down my witty comeback still haunts her when she can't sleep. Anyway, my point is I don't particularly care about Spencer's feelings or if he even thinks Spencer is a good name. I water him when the notification comes up on my phone and otherwise kind of ignore him. What I am saying is lots of plants might think I am an asshole because I consider myself to be far above them and they might be right but Spencer is the only plant here so those other plants are just guessing. So Anne Hathaway might treat people like garbage or just sort of not think about them because she is supporting them and watering them but I don't know. So the idea that celebrities are someone to lionize or vilify is kind of weird but I think about my friends now who give their kids lectures on drugs when I fucking saw you rolling at foam parties and pretty much groping anyone who would let you. We aren't great at inbetweens. So like, sorry Anne Hathaway went through that but it's kind of just how people work. I had a point here but I lost it, I was too caught up laughing about how much it probably burns that I named my plant Spencer and got off a sick Mom joke on someone 4 years ago. I guess my core point is today I want to fuck Anne Hathaway.

#Anne Hathaway #brunette #Actress #whoiwanttofucktoday

[dramadramallama]

Love Supremacy - brain rot part 2

As Myung-ha rejects the idea of a predetermined fate, he sets off to change it for Yeo-woon, who’s mirroring him in every way. When we first meet our Myung-ha, we also meet the most mysterious character of the show. Is it Death? A guardian angel? God? Whatever it is, he knows more than Myung-ha, and has some wisdom to share. Thus, a sunbae. 

The fact that he is represented as some sort of Author is not lost on me, but I do appreciate that his identity is vague enough to be interpreted many different ways. No religious connotations, no punishment, no judgment, we cheered.

In theory, Myung-ha finds the idea that some people just don't live happy lives unfair. He doesn’t like the story’s ending (he doesn’t like his own ending either, as he regretted it in the last moments) so he sets off to change it through this new opportunity (the Game). When asked, "would you do things differently, if it were you, then?" he unequivocally answers that he would, that he would make it happen differently. Looking back, it’s clear his sunbae is not asking hypothetically. The underlying conversation is obviously about his own life being re-written, not (just) Yeo-woon’s. 

1. Mirrors/Symmetry ▶️2. Fate, Free Will, and Happiness 3. Game/Reality

So in theory, he’s all for doing things differently, but in practice, though, it's not that easy. He’s struggling not to make the same mistakes, which is represented with the in-game instability. When Myung-ha makes progress, when he both shows love and accepts it in return, the game (life) is able to go on in spite of the glitches.

Golden moments keep us going, literally.

After experiencing some system errors, some setbacks, his sunbae comes back to the rescue with some more not-so-hypothetical questions.

Through the lens of a loving relationship, he hopes to show Myung-ha that the choices we make out of despair are still our own (free will). It’s a direct parallel to Myung-ha deciding to cut his life short (break up, no pain, no hard feelings), instead of living longer (delaying it, enduring the hurt, getting scars, coping with regrets). 

Myung-ha is not quite ready, and has trouble understanding what is being implied. Because he hasn’t reached a state of self-love, he unknowingly doubles down on the fate he’s assigned himself once, and chooses to repeat it. 

He chooses to give up (again), he chooses to avoid the suffering (again), which he associates with unhappiness. It takes just as much courage to live as it does to die, and happiness doesn't exempt you of pain, but Myung-ha doesn’t know it just yet. He falls back into his old habits, and symbolically gives up staying longer in the game (of life), worried about Yeo-woo’s happiness more than his own. 

After working tirelessly to get Yeo-woon to happiness, and becoming the reliable person Yeo-woon can lean on, he hits the wall of his own contradictions. The relationship is uneven, the choice too biased. The gap widens, the fragility of the whole thing is apparent: the game is bugging, as Myung-ha doesn’t align his needs/desires with his actions/reactions. 

Not only does he refuse Kyung-hoon’s and Yeo-woon’s offer to lean on them (he hurt his leg following a system error), he also struggles accepting his own feelings. In spite of the time running out, he fails to tell Yeo-woon he loves him properly, retains important info about himself, and breaks up with him in the exact same location where they share their first kiss (loud wailing sounds of poetic cinema)

Myung-ha’s core issues are bursting out in the open (increasingly alarming error messages appear): because he doesn’t let himself be loved, he can’t love properly. Because he can’t lean on others when he needs it, he fails to be there when it matters. 

Myung-ha misguidedly keeps choosing a sad ending for himself when the whole game, his whole life, is fighting to give him a happy one.

That’s not to say his entire journey until now was in vain. In fact, Myung-ha is incredibly resilient (child...❤️), and opens himself to change at the end. He’s just missing a piece of the puzzle for it all to fit into place. It is, in fact, quite a big pill to swallow that happiness doesn’t happen to you passively like destiny, but instead is something that you actively choose. Hell, I struggle to even comprehend or believe it, tbh.

The game being littered with questions, answers, and possible choices/options is a visual representation of our everyday pondering, and choice making. What goals are we setting for ourselves? Myung-ha's sunbae is there to remind Myung-ha that if we refuse the existence of fate, then we should make use of your all-powerful free-will. 

At first, he blindly runs towards the game’s main goal--happiness--and doesn’t realize you can’t find it at the finish line. If he only wants happiness for someone else and not himself, why would he get a different ending? By the end, he learns that happiness can, possibly, be found on the way there, though.

The hand, the love he extends to Yeo-woon one-sidedly in episode 1, he accepts it when it is returned in episode 8.

The story comes full circle, but doesn't repeat itself; he gets a different ending through a new start.

From a pure stylistic standpoint, I'm obsessed with repeated lines/motifs in media because they give a lot of rhythm to a story. Like a poem or a song.

The story reaches its final stanza, he listens to himself, and resolves the error, his own contradictions. He found the will to fight for happiness, a way to love himself, chooses to stay longer, chooses Yeo-woon, chooses to maybe suffer along the way a little, but he chooses life. 

Notice how the question does not have Myung-ha's answer this time. Now, we choose.

Life is not an express lane, and if you're short 5,000 won to take the bus, or if the bus breaks down on the highway, you might have to fight and make a run for it. It'll suck. But it's not in vain; you might just get rewarded with the happy moments you created for yourself. Myung-ha does.

It is such a hopeful, kind, gentle message.

I am alive too.

#love for love's sake #love supremacy zone #lfls #love for love's sake meta #kdrama #OOOOOOOOOOOF #ok one part left and i'll shut UP

[liquidstar]

i think something important we all have to remember about characters is that they are not real. but they are symbolic representations of types of humans. especially when you incorporate fantasy into the mix, where these representations become a bit less literal.

so, like, when you have characters that are immortal/ageless/reincarnations/vampires/whatever, who are, on paper, much older than they actually look... it really just comes down to "if they walk like a duck and talks like a duck, then it's probably a duck."

basically what i mean is if a character is functionally a teenager within a story, emotionally and societally and such, then for all intents and purposes they ARE a teenager. because the thing that they are coded to symbolize is a teenager. regardless of fantasy factors that dont exist in the real world. maybe the closest thing is someone who is an adult but looks young (i still get mistaken for 16, its a struggle) but thats a false equivalence, you are still an adult, you cant be coded as a teenager as if this was a story (though you can certainly be immature lol).

conversely, "1000 year old dragon lolis" are coded as children. they represent children. no matter how many spins you try to put on it, that is a symbolic representation of a child. there's a huge difference between the reality of an adult who just happens to look young, and the fantasy of a child who by some loophole can consent. because thats the intent the character was created with.

obviously im not saying this applies to ALL characters who are immortal children though. it can be used for all types of different effects, like, for example, pride in fullmetal alchemist mangahood uses this to enhance his Creepyness factor, due to the disconnect between his appearance and his demeanor. he walks like a duck but doesnt talk like a duck. there are for sure ways to do this trope that arent creepy in the other sense.

same thing goes for immortal teenagers- once you introduce a power imbalance into the mix that makes them functionally just an adult who looks young, thats when the dynamic can begin to feel creepy. and its a tricky thing to pull off, because you have to balance the immortality with the teenager-ness, and it seems like lots of life experience will often contradict the latter. but its not impossible (at least in writing). a character can be more knowledgeable without having power over the other, and i think it largely comes down to how theyre treated socially too. if they have just as much power as any other teenager in their society, then theres not really an imbalance. how theyre treated by other characters will inform the viewers on how to treat them by extension.

like, weird example, but the vampire girl from hotel transylvania (i forgot her name, i watched it when i was 12) is like 100 years older than her love interest. but shes still a pretty stereotypical teenager who has to listen to adam sandler her father, and has the same amount of power in this situation as any other teenager would. the movie sets up the leads as being on the same level socially so theres no issue (this may have been made extra clear because its a kids movie, which is why its an easy example). contrast this with twlight where edward obviously has power over bella specifically due to his vampire-ness, and thats why their dynamic is one that many people find uncomfortable because the fantasy age gap plays a part in this.

but yeah at the end of the day thats why id never, like, call c.c from code geass a pedophile for kissing lelouch (utilitarian reasons or otherwise), but that's also exactly why i'd call isekai man #208 a pedophile for having a loli love interest. these characters are not real, they are symbols. you cannot take symbols literally (thats oxymoronic) by just looking at the numbers of their ages, you have to look at what they represent of the real world inside the story. what does this fantasy immortal SAY about age and such. what do their actual dynamics reflect in the real world.

fiction isnt reality, but its a mirror that reflects it. sometimes a funhouse mirror, but you can still see whats being reflected if you look closely.

anyway please dont take this as any sort of discourse, i really am just musing about how fiction Works, and how different tropes apply in different ways and such. this isnt a response to anything or anyone im just thinking out loud. peace ✌️

[reyboris]

RISIGN SIGNS part 3 (REVIEW FROM E. CARUTTI)

1.  SAGI RISIGN: The river (Sagittarius), on the other hand, is so vast and abundant that it cleans itself. and not because it is transparent and uncontaminated -an ideal river- but because in its movement and amplitude it can contain multiple wastes and even drag the corpse of some animal, without losing its benign quality for other beings. Teachers, teachers, therapists, counselors, people who do school or even with their thinking and behavior about others, usually acquire a greater weight in their lives than usual. Here the important thing is not the aptitude to impart knowledge, but the breadth and depth of these people's ideas and their ability to excite and guide others. idealizing them, criticizing them, feeling enormous gratitude towards them or treating them with contempt, accusing them of being know-it-alls or manipulators, are some of the many possible responses to the importance they unconsciously acquire.

2. CAP RISIGN: Capricorn is the sign that symbolizes this level of reality, in which the presence of what does not vary is manifested as essential. having to take care of his younger siblings, giving up the freedom that other friends enjoy, being sent shopping with amounts of money for which he must be responsible, being forced to study without company or to carry out tasks for which he cannot rely on anyone , traveling alone as a child, etc. they are common anecdotes that reveal on a small scale the presence of the pattern of destiny that will unfold over time. Here the work is to sustain the desire, not as opposition or obedience to others, but maintaining one's own creative vibration over time.desire and law, limit and freedom, subject and object' mind, heart and world met for those who learned to rest in beauty world met for those who learned to rest in the beauty of what is. capricorn transforms into the unicorn. the goat's horns intertwine

3. AQUA RISIGN: Sooner or later, the Aquarius Ascendant will feel that he does not belong to the place in which he is, but he does -if he understands it properly- that he participates intensely. participating means interacting creatively with others, but not being totally identified with them. This is precisely what allows one to be free and circulate without any contradiction, through many other groups and situations. As soon as the word belonging appears, Aquarius begins to lose energy and above all makes others lose energy, with inappropriate movements move.

4. PISCES RISIGN: the nature of your energy is not suitable for abrupt cuts or drastic decisions. rather, its nature is to carry things to their exhaustion (the correct term would be their consummation). That is, to take all the necessary time so that the ties that bind them with other people are naturally untied, in the same way that a ripe fruit falls from the tree. For this reason, it is possible to see them in impassioned situations that seem to never end, although in reality that is the time that their peculiar sensitivity needs to be able to recover their identity after an important bond. he must learn to make decisions on the basis of the uncertain speed of the unconscious, which can either take forever to be ready from the fragmentary needs of the conscious level- or define itself suddenly from one day to the next. Psychologically, where Pisces is present, we can say that we lack the possibility of distancing ourselves from the unconscious. The common denominator is, therefore, the lack of clarity in the links. thus, confusing messages, misinterpretations and above all the strong projections in which they tend to get entangled multiply

#astrology #astrologyobservations #astrology notes #astro observations #astronotes #Zodiac #risignsigns #Sagittarius #Capricorn #capricorn rising #Aquarius #aquarius rising #Pisces #pisces rising

[ocean-cloud]

A fantasy shattered by the reality of trauma, indoctrination and choices

Season 2 was always meant to be a bridge, it was always meant to be a little fantasy for us, moments of just pure sugar and sweetness and so many moments of them being open and just lovely. from small moments of intimacy to side characters recognizing their closeness just like we do. It was quiet, gentle and romantic, it starts with extending the ending of season 1 carrying the same soaring happiness we had when they dined at the ritz.

But throughout and more toward the latter half we are slowly being reminded things in small snippets, like the reality of the world breaks in. Every flashback showed us how angry Crowley is at heaven but also shows how Aziraphale was so deeply indoctrinated into heavens culture. We are meant to question how Aziraphale goes through so much of this mental gymnastics in his head to validate his own beliefs, his contradicting values in the grave digging scene is an excellent example of this and while Crowley is ultimately sympathetic and is shown to be extraordinarily realistic and recognizes systemic issues, due to his correlation with 'niceness' with angelic behavior he does nothing to solve the root of the issue. Its a painful reminder 'remember they still aren't grown fully, they need time, look at how Aziraphale is still muddled in his philosophy, do you really think he'll just turn it all away. do you think Crowley can deal with this any longer, are you sure?'

but its only a little uncomfortable thought so you look away and you continue watching. and oh look how beautiful the dance is, let them live in their fantasy, but hell doesn't let you, hell doesn't let them. And then you see Nina and Maggie talk about the reality of things, that it takes time. and that's the final nail in the coffin. Then Metatron comes over, manipulates every little crevice of insecurity and doubt Aziraphale has, and every moment of miscommunication they both are a part of and uses it and then the fantasy finally and well and truly over, reality finally hits the audience, the reality finally hits them.

The final 15 minutes lets us in on a lot about Aziraphale, Crowley but also heaven. It shows that 4 years is nothing in the grand scheme of things, Aziraphale is still naive to the nature of heaven, and heaven?

Heaven in every season but particularly Metatron is undeniably manipulative on so many levels, he uses Aziraphale's attachment to heaven, he validates his opinions and makes him feel safe, liken to how Crowley attempts to build a safe space for him but with completely different intentions. Metatron wants Aziraphale as vulnerable as possible and he acts like Crowley, validates his consumption of human food and offers it to him, as though he understands it as well as he does, forming an immediate bond. Then he takes him away from safe spaces (the bookshop, Crowley etc) and that's when he attacks. He strips Aziraphale of any safety and plays into his naivete, his feelings of heaven and feelings of Crowley. He brings Crowley into conversation in the pretense of valuing his opinion like Aziraphale does but never allows Crowley there (because he knows Crowley would see right through him) All in all its a masterpiece of manipulation and some real cult behavior.

This ending is the bridge to season 3 where they will struggle and they will grow and Aziraphale will discover the lies and manipulations of heaven, that they will never be able to truly change and by the end they'll figure it out.

They've been broken down, they both are a little wrong and they both need to apologize one way or another but they build each other back up and they can finally, finally be together.

#good omens #gos2 #aziraphale #crowley #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #gos2 spoilers #when i watched season 2 the flashbacks made me think that they were acknowledging his issues in his philosophy #and how 4 years wont make him suddenly change #but the ending still hit me like a truck #it was still like a fantasy shattering reminding you that things take time and it wont all just magically get better #and i think its beautiful that they chose to make this realistic. that they wont shove their trauma down for the sake of a cute moment

[fangirlwriting-stories]

A Need For Defensive Weapons

Summary: Sam opens up to Danny about something that happened, something he should really remember.

Author's Note:

My Brain: Hey you should continue that Danny Phantom AU

Me: ...Why?

My Brain: I wanna

Me: ...You're not gonna let me stop until the story's done are you

My Brain: Probably not!

Well anyway that whole "this is a one shot" thing didn't even last four days huh

...

Jazz knowing is… weird.

She’s not the most adept at the mechanics of ghost fighting, but after a straightforward talk about it, she lets Danny do most of the main action and backs him up when he asks for it.  And he’ll admit, it’s nice knowing someone will be there to watch his back if he needs it.  Definitely results in less injuries.

But that’s just the very practical reality of Jazz being able to be there when he’s fighting.  There’s other parts of it that are weird too.  For one thing, Jazz is way too terrible at jokes for someone who’s supposed to be related to him.  They really need to work on her banter.  And her knowing looks across the dinner table are a little too obvious for Danny’s comfort.

But honestly, he’s willing to forgo all of it.  Because the other part of it is that he can look at Jazz and be met with a reassuring smile that actually helps him feel at ease.  Or he can talk about ghost fighting freely, as long as they’re sure no one else is around.  He has someone to bounce ideas off of and strategize with, because it turns out Jazz is so much smarter than he’s given her credit for.

It’s a bizarre shift in his normal, but in the end, Danny decides that it’s more good things than bad.  It’s relaxing, having someone to count on.

But it’s also very new, and he’s not sure he feels like he can tell her everything yet.  Knowing he can open up to someone and knowing he can open up to someone are two different things.

He’s also pretty sure Jazz gets that, though, and she’s kept her promise about not pushing him.  He tells her the few things he knows about what happened with Freakshow in short little bursts, and she tells him the things she knows happened while he was gone when he asks, but not otherwise.

This does have some side effects, though.  Mainly being that he comes up with stories that don’t contradict anything in short bursts too, and tells them to Sam and Tucker about as fast.  And while they’re certainly being less harsh with him than they were when he first got back, he can tell it’s starting to irritate them.  Sam, especially.

He doesn’t feel like he can do anything else, though.  And they don’t say anything to him directly, so they all continue to ignore the problem.  Hopefully they can skirt by on that until the problem stops existing and then all move on.

The ghost fighting is slowly picking up again too, and Danny’s starting to have his usual weekly run-ins with Skulker and Technus and the Box Ghost.  It also becomes more and more clear that Amity Park is no longer a fan of Danny Phantom.

Well, granted, they haven’t been a fan of him for a while, but now it’s significantly worse.  It’s a lot harder to find places to hide and go ghost, and a lot of the times Jazz has to cover for him, especially when he’s with Sam and Tucker.  (Another reason he’s glad he told her, actually.)

On the other hand, one thing that definitely hasn’t gotten easier is hearing how Sam and Tucker talk about Phantom now.

It’s not like they were necessarily huge fans of his ghost half before.  If anything, they seemed indifferent.  They brought him up when ghost fights happened near them, which wasn’t always, and they never really had much to say beyond commenting on how that fight move had been cool, or that ghost had been scary, or something along those lines.

But now…

“Okay it’s lunchtime and not after school in the library so you can’t stop me,” Sam snaps as Danny approaches their usual table, late after a detour to fight some ghosts nearby.

He blinks at Sam, feeling like he’s missed the beginning of a conversation.  “What?”

“I need to vent and you can’t stop me!” Sam snaps.

Danny blinks again, and turns to Tucker, who gives him a ‘don’t mess with her’ look.

“Uh, okay?” Danny says, sitting down next to Sam.

“Great!” Sam says, not seeming at all calmer now that Danny’s agreed, and instead turning back to Tucker with an angry gaze.  “Anyway, I need to talk about Invis-O-Bill.”

Oh, great.

“First of all,” Sam says, pointing at Tucker like they’d had this conversation before.  “He has a really stupid name.”

“Ugh, he wouldn’t if people would just—” Danny stops, takes a deep breath, and gestures at Sam.  “Whatever.”

Sam stares at him for a couple seconds, then seems to brush it off and turns back to Tucker.  “But more importantly, I cannot stand his attitude!  You can’t just flip back and forth on a dime between villain and hero and expect people to roll with the punches!  What’s that all about?”

“What’s up with you being so caught up in it?” Danny asks despite himself, managing to hold himself back from glaring at her.  “You never cared about him before.”

“Yeah well he hasn’t been everywhere before!” Sam snaps, glaring the other way.

“So what, you don’t like him because he’s mainstream now?”

“What?  No!” Sam says, turning to glare at him.

“Okay,” Tucker says, leaning in between them.  “Take a breath.  We’re all friends here.”

Danny sighs and looks away.  “Sorry.”

“Yeah, me too,” Sam mutters, looking down at her food.  “I just— I guess it all just has me a little on edge.”

“There have been a few more ghosts lately,” Danny says, though he hasn’t actually seen too much of an uptick.  “You know, if you want, I might be able to convince my parents to let you come over and I could show you how to use some ecto weapons.”

“I… think I’ll take you up on that,” Sam says, which Danny isn’t expecting.  She’s shown total disinterest in ghost fighting before.

“Uh, sure,” he says anyway, because he’s not going to take it back when he was the one who offered.  “You can ride home with Jazz and I today.”

“You sure your parents will let you do that?” Tucker asks.

Danny laughs a little.  “Sure.  All I have to do is say ‘hey guys Sam wants to learn to fight ghosts’ and they’d practically let her move in.”

“Heh, yeah I could believe that,” Sam says with a small smile of her own.

So, after their hour doing homework in the library (Danny is actually making progress, about halfway caught up now), Sam rides home with him and Jazz.  Just like Danny expected, his folks are totally cool with it, and he takes Sam down to the lab to show her some of the ecto weapons.  He just barely manages to talk his dad out of coming along, with a little help from Jazz.

“Okay,” Danny says, feeling more than a little awkward as he leads Sam down to the lab.  He tends to steer clear of ghost stuff with Sam and Tucker for obvious reasons.  “We’ve got a cabinet full of weapons in the back.”

“Cool,” Sam says, turning immediately to look for it.  Danny walks over and she follows close, seeming more than a little eager.

He gives her a look, and Sam smiles, but there’s nerves there.

“Are… you okay?” he asks hesitantly.

“Nothing!  It’s nothing!  Just ready to get started!”

Danny looks at her for a second longer, then shrugs it off and turns back to the cabinet, unlocking it and pulling it open.  “So, you’ll probably want to stick with blasters if you’re just looking for defensive weapons,” he says.  “A small one you can keep in your pocket would be best.”

“Can they be used as offensive weapons?” Sam asks.

“Well, I guess technically,” Danny says, glancing over at her curiously.  “That’s not how I tend to use them.”

“Since when do you use them?”

“Uh, well you’d be surprised how often ghosts come up on family vacations,” Danny says, turning back to the cabinet.  “Okay, I’ve got some wrist rays, lazer lipstick, and a couple smaller handheld blasters.  Any of those sound good?”

“I’ll take the wrist ray,” Sam says, holding out her hand.

“Sure,” Danny says, picking one up and passing it over.  “Those are pretty simple.  You just aim and shoot by pressing the button.”

Sam straps it to her wrist and immediately turns and aims at the opposite wall, pressing the button.  A green beam shoots across the room and blasts a beaker into bits.

“Woah, watch it Sam!” Danny calls, reaching out and pulling her arm back.  “I have to clean that up, you know!”

Sam seems to shake herself, and turns back to Danny.  “I— sorry.  Just testing it.”

“Well we have a perfectly good backyard to test it in,” Danny says.  “You can shoot at some grass or some dandelion fluff.”

Sam looks down and fidgets with the strap on her wrist.  “Yeah,” she says.  “Okay.”

Danny pauses and takes her in.  She’s tense, and her shoulders are hunched like she’s looking for a threat.

“Hey,” he says, reaching out and putting a hand on her arm.  She relaxes a little and turns to look at him.

“Are you okay?” he asks.  “You seem really nervous.  And since when do you want to learn how to fight ghosts anyway?”

“It’s nothing,” Sam snaps, glaring down at the ground.  “You wouldn’t get it anyway, since you don’t stick around enough to know what’s going on.”

Danny winces.

But a second later, Sam sighs.  “No, I’m sorry, that’s not fair,” she says, turning to him with a guilty look.  “It’s really not your fault, and I should stop talking like it is.  Even if it’s still totally crazy that you’re not telling anyone what actually happened.”

Danny is quiet for a minute.  “Did… did something happen to you?” he asks hesitantly.

Sam fiddles with the strap and doesn’t meet his eyes.

Crud.  Something did happen.  Something happened and he wasn’t here to protect her—

“So uh,” Sam says, still not looking at him.  “You know how the last place you said you were going before you were… well, you know, was Circus Gothica?”

“Uh…” Danny wracks his brain and comes up with a vague blurry memory of ditching Sam and Tucker in the library, finding Lancer waiting outside, and overshadowing him to lock him in a broom closet.  “Yeah?”

“Well, Tucker and I followed you,” Sam says.  “We were trying to find out what your deal was.  We never found you, but we did find Freakshow and that Invis-O-Bill guy.”

“Uh, yeah,” Danny says, looking away.  “Following you so far.”

“Well, um.”  Sam takes a deep breath.  “So Freakshow tells me he hasn’t seen you and leaves the tent, and I’m about to follow when Invis-O-Bill shows up and grabs me.”

Danny’s heart drops into his stomach, and he spins back to Sam.  “What?”

“And he puts me up on the highwire,” Sam says, clenching her hands into shaking fists while still glaring at the floor.  “With no net.  And then cuts the wire. If Freakshow hadn’t caught me when I fell I would have died.  He tried to kill me.”

Danny can’t breathe.  “I di— he did?  I don’t— I don’t remember that.”  Why can’t he remember that?

“No, like I said, you were gone already,” Sam says with a sigh, like it’s not a big deal.  “I just, then he just shows up again last week like nothing’s happened and goes back to fighting that stupid ghost with all the boxes, whatever the heck his name is.  I just… I couldn’t take it.”  She looks down at her wrist.  “So I… I think I’ll feel a lot better if I’ve got something to defend myself with, you know?  If he or any other ghost tries to mess with me again.”

“Sure,” Danny says, trying to talk past the sudden lightheadedness.  He hopes his face looks even marginally appropriate for the situation.

Sam looks up at him, and he tries to focus on her and not his racing heartbeat.  “Hey, I— I’m sorry,” she says.  “I know I’ve been kind of snappy lately.  I think I’m just on edge, you know?”

Then, without any warning, she reaches out and wraps her arms around him.  “But I’m really glad you’re okay,” she says, while Danny goes back to staring at the floor and trying to force his breathing to cooperate.  “And I… I’m sorry I got so mad at you when you first showed up again.  It really wasn’t your fault.  I mean, obviously.  I can’t fault you for actually getting kidnapped.”

“It’s okay,” Danny manages.  “I’m fine.  I uh— I need to go to the bathroom.”

Sam pulls back, seeming slightly surprised.  “Oh, okay.  Meet you in the backyard?”

Danny nods and turns to practically run up the stairs.  He doesn’t stop until he reaches the bathroom, then slams and locks the door.  He leans back against it and slides to the floor, burying his head in his knees.

Breathe, you’re fine, nothing permanent happened, Sam’s fine, everything’s fine.

It’s fine.

…

“Alright!” Danny calls, opening the back door with a bang that’s maybe a little too loud, but that doesn’t stop Sam from turning to him with a smile.  “So let’s teach you how to shoot some grass with a wrist ray!”

...

Chapter Two

#danny phantom #danny fenton #sam manson #tucker foley #no one knows au #my fic

[nihilnothings]

The Contradictions of Denji Hayakawa and why it’s humanly real

Introduction

“Why does Denji not learn his lesson, is he stupid?”

You’re not entirely wrong but you’re not entirely right.

One of the common gripes of some fans is that Denji appears to not have changed because he keeps falling for women with red flags in exchange for sexual favours, but honestly if anyone paid attention and not get let their emotions do the thinking, he actually has changed for the better in one aspect but he’s struggling for another:

Denji has succeeded in familial love but it doesn’t necessarily mean that it translates to his romantic life.

You can be a decent/good friend or good brother but that doesn’t mean you’ll not fumble with women or romance

What Denji Has Succeeded and How He Did It

One good thing that Makima (unintentionally) did was putting him with Power and Aki. They had a rough start but eventually as all people know he eventually saw them as surrogate family members and Power became one of if not the first close female character he viewed in a platonic sense than in a romantic/sexual sense as at least from his end.

Though they were gone from his life, the lessons he learned never left. Old Denji would only think about his own survival and the carnal pleasures of sex as well as basic necessities, New Denji however stepped up and took on the big gamble of raising the ticking time bomb that is the Control Devil, Nayuta. It can be implied that due to him being shown good examples, Denji was able to succeed in raising Nayuta.

This can strongly conclude that Denji learns by being shown and eventually doing it himself.

For all his setbacks he was a good brother because he had one himself

Interlude: A Common Trope Being Slightly Subverted

We and most of their mothers here know how Part 1 ended, Denji’s broken spirit is mended, he learns more about love and relationships, defeated Makima, and now focuses on living another day as CSM raising her so hooray no more issues right?

It even ended in a seemingly victorious note

I feel like when a long-running series has a continuation and replaces them with a new protagonist, people expect the old protagonist to act as some sort of “mentor” who has everything figured out and helps out the new protagonist in the ropes.

The thing is just because you have one thing figured out doesn’t necessarily mean it translates to everything, real life isn’t like that.

For all of its fantastic elements, Fujimoto characters tend to be praised for being “human” or “real”, it doesn’t exactly mean that it 100% translates to our reality but the way they behave at least resembles somewhat to us humans in real life. Like humans we are, we don’t move linearly forwards or backwards, we move in a haphazard direction that eventually, hopefully, takes us forward, only to repeat that cycle again for a different experience until we reach our inevitable death.

This is what’s currently happening to Denji, he hasn’t had all the things figured out (considering his background, pretty impressive tbh) and he hasn’t reached his goals of finding a good romantic partner. If he had succeeded, then we would be shown a “perfect” Denji that’ll eventually woo Asa without having his own issues or a character who acts as Denji’s girlfriend as a sign that he as a character is fully actualized.

Which is why we see him relapsing against his better judgement.

What Denji is Struggling Right Now and Why Old Habits Die Hard

One of the other things that Makima taught him right is that the activity of sex will be good when it’s done with someone significant and this usually means a romantic partner.

Therefore, when Denji wants sex he also wants a romantic partner along with it.

Now the problem lies in the fact that most of Denji’s romantic experiences weren’t really good at all, most of the women in his life tried to kill and use him, even Asa did once, but thankfully he was shown that she might not be all that bad after all and might lead onto something good for once even if the paths have now caused them to diverge putting that development to a halt. As it is strongly suggested that Denji learns by example, the fact that terrible examples were mostly shown is what’s probably causing him to blunder his romantic life which inadvertently blocks him from having good sex.Not only that but he was essentially mind-broken by Makima to the point of him losing any desire at all, considering how IRL abuse leaves scars, it cannot be denied that toxic patterns still exist within Denji in relation to romance and sex.

He used Chainsaw Man, an important part of him and the part that many people love (especially the ladies), as a means to hook women into a romantic relationship with him, though with Yoshida’s attempts and no sign of a girlfriend, it seems that tactic might not be as effective after all (ironically it did lead him to score Asa unknowingly).

Then, for the sake of Nayuta, he gave away that identity, and thus no longer had a tool to woo women because with all the things that happened in Part 1 and in Part 2, no women seemed to be interested in Denji Hayakawa, thus leaving him listless and desperate. With that he removed the intimate part of sex and hyper-focused on the carnal part out of boredom and desperation with Sus Girl.

However, him struggling doesn’t necessarily mean zero progress, Old Denji wouldn’t have thought of anything and just went with the flow but the fact that he did thought of it shows that he shouldn’t be doing it (he even has a look of shame of doing making the scene of 137 both hilarious and depressing, in the words of abridged Popo, deprerious).

Relapse is a bitch

If Fujimoto didn’t show the hypothetical scenario then we would’ve thought that it was just a cheap gag but the fact that he showed it means that Denji and he knows that this is what the character should be doing but instead he did the opposite making the scene both a gag and a message that change isn’t easy.

Relapsing is a real thing, ask any druggie, addict, junkie, smoker, etc. they all know that it’s wrong but they do it anyway because it’s been their “normal” for so damn long. Heck, let’s not even get to addiction, how many times do you know that procrastination is bad yet still keep doing it anyways? Some might already succeed but a large part of people still keep doing it because it’s been their “normal” even if being productive is better than doing useless shit like making an analysis of Denji’s contradictory behaviours instead of revising your thesis.

Conclusion

Denji’s constant back and forth on the surface looks inconsistent on the outside, but considering all that happened is it a surprise that he’s failing at romance and attempts despite his best in dealing with it? What he needs is someone to show him the right way of handling it, that person doesn’t have to be perfect, but at least teach him that relationships should not be completely transactory and is the work of two people, only then can he probably reduce his mistakes and develop healthier approaches.

Relapsing is a human experience and considering that CSM characters are said to be close to real life, maybe we should view his experience as someone who is struggling to be better but has no capable person to show him.

#csm manga #denji hayakawa #chainsaw man #aki hayakawa #power #nayuta

[endless-ineffabilities]

Ineffable (Dream of the Endless x f!Reader) - Chapter 4: Delicate

Also with Corinthian x f!Reader

Masterlist - Playlist

Lord Morpheus comes to the rescue, and they find out the truth behind The Handyman's methods. Morpheus makes sure that he is dealt with, and he also has something to say about how close Corinthian and y/n had gotten as of late.

Warnings: cursing, mentions of violence

The dream ends as quickly as it had started. I almost feel it before I awake, the little grains of sand touching my face, jolting me back into reality.

He stands in front of me, stance vigilant and ready. He has his fists bunched up on his sides, and he is looking warily at me.

"How do you feel?"

"Like a million bucks." my voice sounds hoarse, and I feel as though I've just been hit by a truck.

"I've had to force you awake, so you still have some remnants of the drug inside of you. Can you stand?"

"Hmm?... oh, yeah. Yes, just give me a second."

He kneels and helps me up from my not-so-cozy position on the concrete floor. I realize that we're in a basement, pipes running up the sides of the walls, a staircase nested against one. On the far end lies an array of tools propped up on the wall - hammers, pliers, saws, the like - a true handyman's arsenal of weaponry.

But there was something else there. Symbols carved out of metal, misshapen stick figurines on a bed of charred wood, candles illuminating the space. Even with my limited experience facing things like this, I recognized it for what it was.

Our Handyman here has been consorting with the devil.

Or dealing in the dark arts. Or perhaps he's just a vessel, but what I'm seeing here now confirms that he may have been meddling with a bit more than any other Collector.

"I know what you're thinking." Morpheus says, noticing that I've started to walk closer to the scene, "and for the life of me, I don't understand how you possibly could have thought it smart to come to a place like this. You would have been badly hurt, and I..."

His words cut off, and I want to be more consoling, I do, but I also can't help the next words that come out of my mouth.

"What, you don't think I can handle it? I'm not some helpless creature, you know. If only you could see me for all I can do. And...and... my friend needed me. Needed my help. And I was not going to let him down."

He moves closer, preparing to square off with me, but I continue my tirade.

"I appreciate you coming to help us. Who knows what could have happened if you hadn't? But Cor had only good intentions, and he was looking out for me, and.... wait..." I freeze. Damn it, now is not the time for this! I double down and ask, "Where is he?"

"Cor," he says, distaste palpable in his tone, "is upstairs. He may be tied up, but I don't think The Handyman will get to do anything drastic to him, so don't you worry. We'll get to them in time. Follow me."

He starts walking up the stairs, and I get the feeling I may have been too callous with my words. He is here to save us, upon my pleading, after all. I walk after him, and I want to attempt an apology, but I'm not sure just how stealth we should be at the moment.

"Morpheus," I start to whisper, but he interrupts me as we make it out of that stuffy basement.

"They're in the attic. You can wait here."

"I'm not just gonna wait here! I can help," My voice rises in protest yet again.

His eyes meet mine, and I am taken aback by the sheer emotion in them. I can tell that he wants to contradict me, but something holds him back.

"I don't suppose that danger is going to stop you from coming with me, now will it?" He whispers rushedly, as if he already knows my answer, and has resigned himself to it.

He means well. I know he does, and I have to remind myself of this before I run my mouth again. I know now that he will let me come with him, even as his eyes still plead otherwise. I feel his breath on my face, and I realize just how close he hovers over me.

"It won't," I manage to say, "I'll be fine."

I feel it necessary to add that last bit, wanting him not to worry. I don't want him to think of me as some delicate creature, and I know he doesn't. But in this moment, I can see how he worries. I don't think I've seen him this worked up over anyone's safety.

And over me?

"Then let's go."

We reach the next floor, and I can now hear Cor's disgruntled voice from above, most of the calm bravado stripped away.

"I'm going to fuckin' rip your eyes out, you insignificant little weasel."

"Tsk...tsk," a nasal, almost honeyed voice echoes, "Not exactly something you'd say to someone who clearly has the upper hand, Corinthian."

"If you lay one finger on her, you'll regret ever thinking you could take on me and live." He responds through gritted teeth, voice laced with pure venom, and I shiver at the intensity of his threat. This no longer sounded like my Cor - this was the Corinthian, a Nightmare unhinged.

"Oh, now, don't you worry about your pretty friend. She's happily dozed off downstairs," the voice says giddily, "and I can't wait to have my share of fun with her..."

He pauses, and I could tell Cor had attempted to reach him then, as it seems like he jumped away. He continues, "As I'm sure you have, Corinthian. We all have to share."

Morpheus stills beside me. On this floor, only a handful of steps separated us from the attic, and the door to it lay slightly open at the end.

He walks up the steps, careful to make no sound. I try to take after him, but then I hear the slightest squeak beneath my shoes.

Oh, shit.

"Who goes there?" The voice calls out.

Morpheus pushes the door wide open. He crowds the doorframe, keeping me behind him, and I could barely make out the scene in the attic. Cor had been bound by thick metal bindings with a symbol etched upon it in red, several times. His hands were twisted behind him in the chair, his legs bound together, and a heavy chain rested tight around his torso. The Handyman was a squat, hunched man in overalls, and he was not immediately sinister-looking, but one of his hands tightly held a black pendant in the shape of the symbol on Cor's bindings.

It must have been what he had used to ward off our attempts to locate him, and to disarm Cor with debilitating pain. Judging by how firmly he held it in hands, this was his dark totem. Mortals continue to attempt requesting such items from demons, for the paltry price of their soul. They usually serve a specific purpose upon the whims of their owner.

"Your time of play is over, Harold Evers," he says ominously, using the Handyman's true name against him like a curse. The air shifts inside the room, as if Morpheus' presence cast everything in shadow.

"How did you know my name? And who might you be?" Harold says warily, though he still does not show the fear that he should probably have, faced with the Lord of Nightmares himself.

"I am your reckoning." The lights flickered in the room, and I suddenly feel cold.

"Are you a Nightmare too?" His hand looks as if it started shaking, the dark totem blurring away.

"No." Morpheus walks closer, and Harold's eyes dart over to me, realizing that I am no longer subdued. I run over to Cor to try to dismantle the binds, but I recoil as the metal burns my skin.

"Wait," Morpheus gestures to me.

"Then who...what..." Harold starts to ask.

"But I will be your nightmare."

"You can't harm me! I have this," He waves the totem in Morpheus' face. "Once I received word of what happened at the last Cereal Convention, I knew I needed some protection. Collectors don't just turn themselves in, they don't just develop a conscience out of the blue!"

"No, unfortunately they do not. But I was there." Morpheus speaks with such gravity, and I feel that it's only a matter of time before he deals the final blow.

"No matter," he spits in disdain, "Whoever you are, this totem is meant to protect me from the Corinthian and his associates. Whomever is like him, fellow Nightmares, any friends of his... they cannot... touch... me."

Harold seems gleeful. He believes that he is immune to Morpheus as well, and I start to wonder if he is, but one glance at Morpheus' dark and composed expression dispels any of my doubts. Harold doesn't stand a chance.

"Go ahead then." Morpheus threatens him. "Use your weapon against me."

Harold looks taken aback. This clearly was not the reaction he wished to elicit from Morpheus. His face then contorts into outrage, and I could tell that this little man was even more little inside. He needs to control others, he needs to always have the upper hand.

Harold begins chanting, low and quick, and I can barely make out his words but it was not of any worldly language. He directs the totem towards Morpheus, wrist twisting and untwisting in a practiced manner, and the totem starts to emit a heavy, tar-like smoke. It engulfs Morpheus, and I cry out.

"No! Stop!" Just as I was about to leap for the totem, Cor whispers croakily in my ear.

"Hey, don't. Just wait."

The smoke dissipates. My eyes strain, trying to make out the shape of Morpheus.

He stands there, the smoke having no visible effect on him. He smirks, and raises an eyebrow, as if to say, is that it?

I turn to the Handyman with a renewed sense of vigour. He now looks afraid, as he should have always been.

"But this was meant to protect me, I gave everything for this," he cries in desperation.

"Yes, you did." Morpheus says, "It can protect you from Nightmares, such as the Corinthian, and as you mentioned, any who may be alike him or are trying to help him."

Harold starts to back away.

Morpheus continues, "But I am not just his associate, nor am I his friend. I am not just an equal. I am his creator. I am Lord of all Dreams and all Nightmares, and you should fear me."

He walks over to Cor, and places a hand on his bindings, which then melt away into dust.

"Thanks, boss."

"Are you alright?", I ask Cor, looking him over for any bruises.

"Am I alright? He took you away... I tried to get you, I did, but I..."

"It's okay. Tougher than I look, remember?" I appease him with a tiny smile, one which he returns.

"Touching, but let's get this over with first, shall we?" Morpheus says, not even sparing a glance in our direction.

"No, no, no," Harold mumbles, eyes darting around the room, looking for an escape. He moves to a metal table pushed against the wall, and grabs at the array of weapons he had there. One arm raised, he throws a silver knife in mine and Cor's direction. I see it coming closer, as if in slow motion, and my blood runs cold.

I can feel Cor starting to push me out of the way, but I raise my hand, and try to stay put.

The knife hovers, its sharp end a mere few inches from my left eye. I use my powers to keep it still, arrested in the air for a moment.

Harold looks at me as if I've grown two heads, and Morpheus seems proud.

I twist the knife mid-air, and compel it to float towards Harold. In one swift whoosh, the sharp end was now inches away from his eye.

"Well, you're screwed." Cor quips, the cocky inflection in his voice returned.

We all close in on the Handyman, Harold, whatever he is. It doesn't matter. He cowers away.

Let's just say this may be his last moment where he has any control.

-------

We sit in the same booth in the same café, Morpheus sitting across Cor and myself. Oddly enough, Cor opted to drape his arm on the back of the seat this time, but I say nothing. He looks tired, and truthfully, I am too.

Only Morpheus looks exactly as he was, as he always has been, as if he did not just bring a notorious serial killer to justice.

I sigh, looking at him, and I can see his eyes lazily trained on Cor's arm behind me. I lean forward, feeling the need to let him know that there's nothing there, that we're just friends.

And I don't know why. Am I really hoping that Morpheus may be drawn to me in a deeper way? In a way that would be make me more than just a token human with abilities in his group? More than a colleague, a friend?

Deep down, I already know the answer to this, and I feel like the answer has always been the same.

Which is why my heart skips a beat when we lock eyes. Why I feel a rush of adrenaline, and something more, whenever we get into our little arguments, whenever he challenges me.

Which is why, no matter how dense or indifferent he might act sometimes, being around him makes me feel safe.

Like home.

"Well, that was truly something, wasn't it." Cor breaks the silence as he stares out the window.

It was. We had left the Handyman's place only about an hour ago, and I'm sure the police have already found him in his state.

Morpheus had put the Handyman under the curse of Eternal Waking. It had been quick, the dealing of the final blow that secured Harold's eternity. I then left an anonymous tip for the cops afterward. There was enough evidence in that house to at least send him to prison for ten lifetimes, and he might already be under a spell, but bringing him to the authorities would surely give his victims' families some closure.

I'm not exactly sure how the three of us ended up in this café once again, but at least the waitress seems pleased enough to see us.

I make a note of looking at her name tag once she reached our table. Valerie.

"Oh, what a lovely surprise, my loves. Back again! And with another friend now, I see." Valerie's familiar lilting voice feels like a jolt of caffeine, and I for one am glad for the change of tone.

"Why, we just had to come back, darlin'. Lovely service and great food, what's not to like?" says Cor, turning on the charm.

Morpheus remains stoic, watching the conversation unfold, and he seems content to just let us finish our exchange, until Valerie turns her attention to him.

"Say, who's this friend of yours? How are you, love? Hope it's not too lonely being the third wheel here?" she jokes, and I freeze in my seat.

"Third wheel?" Morpheus asks slowly, and I almost laugh at how the phrase sounds so foreign in his mouth.

"Why, yes. I've had the pleasure of serving this lovely couple earlier," Valerie gestures to Cor and myself, cooing "and I was saying what a treat it was to see two young people in love."

Oh no. Morpheus looks confused, and he says nothing in response. He looks at us questioningly, and I hurriedly change the subject.

"So, yeah, I would just like a cappuccino, please, Valerie." I almost beseech her, not wanting her to continue bringing up the concept of Cor and I being a couple. It may have been funny before, but it seems wrong to let it go on in front of Morpheus.

"Same here, darling." Cor smiles at her.

"Me as well." I hear Morpheus say quickly, and I could tell he did not care much about her idling at our table.

"Okay, well, I'll be right back, loves."

"Two young people in love?" Morpheus states incredulously, his eyes not leaving mine.

"That was a joke. It was a little thing that Cor did when we came here earlier. No big deal."

"She seems convinced." Morpheus raises his eyebrows, leaning back in his seat, and I can sense him doubting me.

"Well, there's a reason for that, I suppose." Cor wraps an arm around me, and I look at him pointedly. He shrugs back at me, nonchalant.

"Friends can have chemistry sometimes, and it may seem like it's more than platonic, but it isn't." I try to explain, pushing Cor's arm off my shoulders. He simply laughs dryly at that, but I notice him hunch over a bit as if disappointed.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me." Morpheus says, like he wants to seem unaffected by the whole thing. But is he?

"I'm not. You asked, so I just clarified it."

"Okay."

"Okay." I reply impatiently. One minute he's all worked up about me, the next he's acting unconcerned.

"Good." He says. Good? Good that we've settled this? Good that Cor and I are just friends?

Morpheus turns to Cor, "I need some time alone with y/n. Perhaps you should return to the Dreaming. Take a break before dealing with the next Collector."

"Now?"

"Yes. Now." Morpheus says curtly, having already made up his mind. "I will speak to you back in the Dreaming."

"Guess I can get a coffee another time." Cor says after a long pause. He makes a move to get out of the booth, but adds to me, "You gonna be okay, doll?"

I hum in agreement, "I know where to find you."

He leaves the café, waving to Valerie who was still making our coffees behind the bar.

The silence was tense, and I wait for Morpheus to speak up but he simply looks at me.

"Go easy on him." I say, "None of this was his fault."

"I never said that it was." he says. Well, maybe not exactly, but it was implied.

"He didn't mean to put me in danger."

"And yet..." He clasps his hands on the table, "...he did."

"You know you have to be fair. He trusts you."

"I know," he allows, "but enough about him. That was impressive, how you exercised control over your powers like that. You're no longer letting it simply take over or suddenly arise."

I'm surprised at the compliment, but hey, I'll take it.

"I've been practicing. I'm not the same erratic girl that you met a while ago, y'know?"

"I know, love."

There was that term again. Love. Call me crazy, but that has to mean something. I haven't heard him use that term of endearment with anyone else. Not around me, at least.

Valerie approaches our table and sets down only two cappuccinos, smiling.

"Oh, I'm sorry that your man had to leave, darling," she says to me, "Is there an emergency or something?"

"Oh, he..."

"Yes, I'm afraid there was." Morpheus interjects, "and I'm afraid that there seems to be a confusion. He's not her man, as you so wrongly assumed."

"Oh, is that so? Why, I'm sorry, darlings, but I just thought...", she stammers an apology.

"That's alright, Valerie. It wouldn't be the first time someone made that connection," I say reassuringly, "Can't blame ya, we have good chemistry, don't we?"

I swear I heard Morpheus mumble under his breath, "I beg to differ."

I ignore him and smile at Valerie conspiratorily, who giggles back.

"Oh, well, alright. Let me know if you need anything else!", she walks away, chipper as ever.

I glare at Morpheus.

"Nicely done. Very subtle."

"You're welcome." He leans forward a little, and pushes my coffee towards me.

"Well, now that you've sorted that out," I say, pouring a packet of sugar into my coffee, "is there anything else you'd like to get off your chest?"

"About that mission... we can get it done in a few days. We'd have to travel to Salem for it."

"Massachusetts?", I ask. It's been a while since I've set foot on continental US.

"Yes," he says, "and I would appreciate your discretion, as this can be delicate matter. Who we're going to deal with is a peculiar sort of woman. Formidable, too."

"Why, she sounds just like me," I jest, taking a long sip of coffee, "Who is she?"

"Her name is Amelia." He looks out the window wistfully, "She was my lover."

End of chapter 4.

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Corinthian will be taking a step back in the next 2 chapters, so they'll be Dream x Reader centered! Also - Amelia? You'll find out who she is!

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Next chapter out in around 1 week :)

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