#but i cried which is nice because ive been wanting to cry but havent been able to in months

[umelcom]

.

#watched the one movie that always makes me horribly depressed #ive been in a funk and have had some #personal issues going on #and for some reason my brain decides that the only way to make itself feel better is to just wallow in that feeling #and i watch 'ive been thinking of ending things' #and then i just get idk #weird for a bit #but i cried which is nice because ive been wanting to cry but havent been able to in months #i didnt even cry when i got married #anyway #im fine dont worry about me #just going thru it rn #jenn speaks

[olberic]

ranking anime i’ve watched in 2023:

as expected, here’s this year’s top 10 for how much i personally enjoyed the anime i’ve watched this year. ive watched more than this, but god i watched so many bad ones…. even number 10 sucks but everything else was worse. sad!

as always thank u gifmakers for ur service 🫡 the world would be nothing without u all

10. the legendary hero is dead! (2023)

dont watch this show. it sucks and its bad. hey. come here. hold my hand. now lets just watch and enjoy the OP ok? don't worry about the rest.

9. my daughter left the nest and returned as an s-rank adventurer (2023)

i have to admit this show charmed me. its not the best thing ive ever seen but its nice. comfy. yknow? i haven't finished it but it's enjoyable. can't rank it higher until i finish it

8. sabikui bisco (2022)

if it werent for the positively nonsensical jump in the middle of the show and the way theres just like. a lot of gaps? it’d rank higher. it’s a very cool premise for a show and i like the bisco/milo dynamic, and [SISTER] is fun as hell. it didnt wow me though overall, and while i enjoyed it i was hoping for more.

7. trigun stampede (2023)

im sorry trigun stans i simply didnt love it. i see the appeal i really do but it just didnt hook me. i really liked the animation and the storyline. im intrigued by whatever the fuck is going on with those plants and yall have said theres a tallgirl in the next season? so i’ll keep watching. i just didnt love it

6. that time i got reincarnated as a slime (2019-2021)

in contrast to #7, i can see why this show is weak HOWEVER i just enjoyed it. i like it. huge fan of how much gender the protag has. i love how they get new powers. i enjoy that it can be interpreted as an extremely bisexual show. it was well paced and the slime diaries OVA was a great addition. a lot of the characters really stuck with me too and its like. idk. one of my favourite isekais i guess

5. buddy daddies (2023)

this should rank higher. its so fun. its SO fun. its silly and it doesnt take itself seriously. i laughed in every episode. the dynamic between the guys is great. the dynamics between them and the kid is great. just a really solid show if you can stand the queerbaiting. i dont even care

4. bocchi the rock! (2022)

the bocchi side of tumblr is right this show rules. i like how real bocchi’s social anxiety feels (literally how it felt when i had it). the characters are entertaining, the show’s well done, they even have solid music (which band-based shows dont always do right!). its really funny and its really earnest and its a joy to watch

3. demon slayer: swordsmith village arc (2023)

i included the entertainment district arc in last year’s list so this arc makes the cut. im always late getting around to watch the new stuff and i dont want to read the manga but god DAMN does this show hit different. incredible fight scenes. i loved everything they did for the hashira backstories. i love whatever the fuck is up with genya. it even gave me some akaza to sustain me for the next year or whatever. ik this show gets overhyped but its normal hyped. to me.

2. frieren: beyond journey's end (2023)

oughhh frieren… ive only known this show for a few months but it means to much to me… i dont even wanna talk about it because its so good i just wanna watch it again. go watch frieren if you havent already its anime of the decade. to me

1. gundam: the witch from mercury (2022-2023)

ive never seen a gundam before but i will be watched them after this! what can be said about it that hasnt already been said on this site. the romance storyline is impeccable, the fights are awesome, the moral questions it posed were excellently covered. by the end of the first episode i was speechless. by the end of the last episode i'd cried like 4 times over the course of the show. this thing made me cry to happy birthday. what the fuck

#t #i dont main tag these on principle but i do want to find these later so im using my tag system. sorry main tag browsers #tensura #buddy daddies #bocchi #kny #frieren #gundam

[omensgate]

fav campaign and why

<this is YOUR invitation to send me asks about anything>

oh god im no good at having feelings or opinions so ill just go down a list rattling off my experiences with the campaigns

for the record from the start ive been cheating, ive Never played this game blind. id consumed a lot of rain world playthrough medias before playing it (im not good at playing games in the sense that i simply do not experience them- im a speedrunner at heart... or not competitive or intelligent, im just walking fast paced from start to end...) and when i did play i always had a map and the wiki open which i think diminishes some of the feeling. but i still had fun moving from place to place

SURVIVOR: its classic. its sweet. its fun. i played about halfway through myself, but the second half i completed with my "Boyfriend" so i remember it as being very entertaining as we both fumbled around and learned together. it serves its purpose well and i think anything i enjoy about rain world can be seen in the survivor campaign at least to start off with... 10/10 nothing special but no loss by playing it yknow. ive also done an outer expanse + baby run (ftr if you want baby fast before going to outer expanse, live in industrial for a while. cannot compete with that pup spawn rate + you can easily make the rounds to check like 5 shelters a cycle before its anywhere near over) which yes -_- did make me cry.

MONK: i.. dont like playing monk. friendliness from other creatures does not mean much to me when actively hostile creatures are near impossible to kill because my spear can travel one (1) slugcats worth in distance so i would not play this with my fairly aggressive play style... i only played it for the short time itd take to get to outer expanse and. again. yes. i cried -_- i think its very sweet, and i am like. (clinically) psychotically attached to monk where its very important to my heart BUT Its not fun as a game experience to me

HUNTER: i tried to jolly co op cheat and play as arti to finish this as i find arti the easiest to play as but i kept crashing which is. you know. very bad for the single campaign where you want to be losing the least so ive never made much progress with this one and i genuinely dont want to open hunter back up because of the crashing. i THINK This was because i was playing w the sunhat mod because ive never experienced that magnitude of crashing constantly and uninstalled it after and have not experienced that again until... well youll read later

GOURMAND: i played this one from the start with my "Boyfriend" and so again it was fun from that, ESPECIALLY because he played as artificer and so was essentially my chariot throughout the campaign... easy way to beat gourmands exhaustion: make your partner carry you. shrimple. its SO fun to beat the shit out of creatures and i do like being forced to just take a moment and walk around slowly, i havent found his exhaustion toooo terrible if youre just patient except when youre fighting creatures that have health enough that you cant kill them in one hit. but being able to just slam something to death is SO satisfying, i enjoyed it. HOWEVER, ive never actually gotten to the END (Due to "Boyfriend" availability, we've stopped just outside the outer expanse gate). and of course, yes, every single fucking time i watch someone go into outer expanse i CRY LIKE A BABY. the first i think DOZEN times i watched people go through outer expanse, id start WAILING whenever i just saw slugcat npcs, it tugs and tears at my heart strings so badly. youre not alone. youve spent a campaign or two trudging through a wasteland empty of kind relatable figures but youre HOME now, just as you left it, and everyones so happy to see you back. im crying now . (do i just cry a lot? Maybe. im at an emotional point in my life... be nice.) 12/10 above survivor def, and gourmands my most favorite to play as in expedition- cant argue with that combat system + exhaustion isnt too bad for me + i love the variety of the world, its not impossibly difficult while not being easy.

ARTIFICER: ive never finished revenge route, ill be going to a different save file to try and it now, instead ive finished the ascension route. i know arti can be... extremely frustrating to play because its hitting a wall again and again and again but i really didnt have too much trouble approaching it knowing i had to be prepared to die + using my map a lot ("WTF this game is so unfair i cant see enemies about to shoot me!" Use Your Map. use your map and slug senses) + of course... ample map skills so im not ambling and getting like im getting lost and dying for nothing. though i will say, i did nearly give up at exactly the end- i think its the camera scroll mod but subterranean made the game near unplayable. like 0.5 frames per second, computer screaming, crashing i think a half dozen times again in an area where i NEEDED the karma to the point where i had to passage in place so i could ascend, and then crashing i think thrice while i was in the depths, including not allowing me to see the end cutscene... specifically that huge room with the big pit would grind the game to a halt i think because its so large and all the enemy AI, and all the spiders and centipedes are a nightmare and i just... hated it. every other leg of the game was fine, rewarding, heart touching but dear fucking lord, subterranean isnt more difficult or intriguing its just "the games not going to play smoothly at all and heres 5000000 ridiculously enemies". i WANT to love it, you know i love arti, but its just impossible to play if you want to ascend. and of course revenge route is crazy short which feels bad. removed from my experiences though, i think its beautiful with the one caveat that revenge route is TOO short. ive watched way too many people who were interested in the lore never get to even the third dream because theres just not enough shelters if you run straight to metropolis, which makes me sad. but the story generally is beautiful and i love it (and i could talk about it later, some of the things people say about arti makes me.. insane. either that shes totally righteous in her actions, or that her pups deaths are her fault)

SPEARMASTER: playing this one while cheating both using the map to plan exactly the route you need and to go through precipice as arti for the double jump + to swallow the pearl made it an absolute dream. yes the world is very scary but you can avoid a lot of the worst parts by simply not being there <3 one part: i did forget to change back to spearmaster before going to moon and she did crash my game so . remember to do that. very good campaign both for me to have played without doing anything as intended (never touched a broadcast), combat is fun, but also a very good story. i really like five pebbles and... i cannot get into the degree of five pebbles apologist i am i genuinely cant detail this without going off the rails. regardless; much 2 think about.

RIVULET: never played this one + not playing this one very scary looks bad dont want it. no rot no underwater sections no thank you. wont touch it. wont look at it. thank you

SAINT: hesitant to play this one due to the adventure aspect though i already got all echoes with arti so it cant be that bad- of course the story aspect of it all cannot be understated and it fully shattered my world view when i got into it. rain worlds live and die messaging has really helped me through suicidal and delusional periods and im very glad for what can be gleaned from saints story so i do like it a lot. as ive said before its also so amazing how a game with little to no tutorial text or cutscenes can have numerous jaw drop moments (with max karma reveal and descent into rubicon)

SOFANTHIEL: funny haha! (Jumps around

#ask #and you dont need to know why i keep referring to 'boyfriend'. thats for me to know ok ? <3

[yutadori]

holy crap oh my god . i just had a super ultra maximum vulnerable girl moment with my friend??? we were going home from the library and i made a comment about how i didnt want to go back home and she was like 'dew you want to talk about it 👁️' and i was like you know what . sure

and we did... like i actually talked about my concerns that i was kind of anxious to talk about and my friend was very understanding and she also acknowledged how i was feeling which was soooooo nice like holy shit it seems like a small gesture but it really feels so validating to have someone listen to you, and then tell you that they like . Understand . instead of being dismissed .

i also told her how i feel like people expect me to fail and how my family members have actually said that to me to my face and as a result its made it really difficult to have any sort of faith in myself u__u and then she said?!?!? that they (her + our friends) don't think im going to fail and they all believe me and think i have potential . it was insane because typically words like that dont have much of an effect on me, but i Really sat and thought about what she said and what those words actually meant and like . i dont know it just felt sooooo healing and nice to hear that my anxieties werent true

i also ended up crying in front of her lol.... thank god i didnt start . Sobbing i LITERALLY was clenching my teeth soooooo fucking hard whenever it felt like i was going to start sobbing jsksjshssiuhszks but she's the FIRST person who ive cried in front of in YEARS like literal actual years . and it didnt feel bad because we werent like holding eye contact the whole time like i would look out the window of her car and so would she and then we'd make eye contact every now and then which didnt feel weird and it was also nice that she did a lot of talking so i didnt have to because i think that would have made the crying worse jdsksjss

yeah that was just... so nice and insanely cathartic like holy shid... ive been really stressed lately because of job searching and school and i havent really allowed myself to properly feel my emotions so it was really nice to finally do so in a healthy way with my friend reassuring me... wow...

#ALSO WE HUGGED WHICH WAS SOOOOOO NICE 😭😭😭 #i havent hugged someone in soooo long oh ny god its been months... #then we had a talk about that too bc while we were hugging she was talking about how hugging = dopamine or whatever #and the thing is for as long as ive known her shes been uncomfortable with physical contact like that and i asked her if thats #changed and she said yeah its just that shes rarely the initiator but ahe will accept it #and i was like omg...... this changes everything #but yeah wow that was so healing #she said soooo many nice and thoughtful things and she helped quell my anxiety about a lot of things i was worried about ;;; #sun texts

[mardoufox21111]

i had a beautiful day. a really beautiful morning. i woke up around 9, got breakfast which was shit but i didnt really care. then i had a bath, watched tv [rome], had trouble ordering lunch but again no big deal, dyed my hair, looked cute. watched some more tv before the devil came home and absolutely lost her shit at me over the dishwasher. she just wont shut the fuck up or get over herself. i hate her so much. as soon as she came in i felt HORRIBLE really just my entire body was anxious and unsure and unhappy. then she started with the criticising and the scoffing/laughing nit picking. 

shes just started noisily putting the dishes away i said ill do it. but she ignored me. shes not talking to t. i am at the point of wanting to cry. its so horrible being here and im probably better going to work in the office lol. thats right i work ina n office now and have done for 2 days. i actually wasnt too nervious about it. the whole week prior i had cried at night about it but when i got there it was easy/i felt ok. amazing right! the whole time ive been there i havent felt at all like this or anxious or nervous about anything. amazing! i forgot what that was like. of course no congratulations or we’re proud of you for going in the office from d or t. but i really excelled! you know like i made some friends and am understanding the content [its not rocket science] but i just feel good about it all. i dont feel too out of place and no one is overly mean thoughim sure they will show their true colours, its only been 2  days. after training we get to owrk from home 3 days a week which will be great. im hoping i can pick and choose when that is? the cool thing would be working when d is there then when shes at home i can go into the office haha. well you never know as well i might finally win lotto like ive always wanted. tonight is 20 mil. AMAZING RIGHT. imagine what i could do with that! earlier this week i had a change of heart and thought my parent was a good person/nice and was like well i forgive her for her faults but then she pulls this shit whichi s sooooooooooo emotionally damaging and scary to the point where im like fuck. i was dumb hahaha. its a vicious disgusting cycle. anyway i got no writing done today unfortunately but thats ok i needed time to just decompress and look after myself. i hate her. she just ruins everything and hes not much better. he just laughs at when she attacks me. great parents/parenting. she needs to get out of my life. i need to get out of this house. anyway im super proud of myself of going into the office, actually being able to make some bonds and not being scared! like i actually excelled at it... weird. i think it was just what i needed and has given me a bit of a confidence boost as well because i feel like wow this was suuuuuuuuuuuuuch a daunting thing for me i was so scared and unsure of myself but i have done such a good job and i deserve to be happy... thats the thing. ive gone through so much shit i deserve to be good. the dude who sits next to me is a fucking jerk but ill move away from him and not work with him anyway thankgod also he wont be in next week for 3 days so im like yes 

[khaleesiofalicante]

me, nodding of to sleep: IM HERE IM HERE

did my head just loll to the side? you will never know. first of all this chapter was the most beautiful thing i have ever read. Mavid have my HEART. It's also 4 16 am so im sorry if the reactions are a little bland but this was PERFECT.

me, throughout the whole thing: mavid mavid mavid

They had kissed for the first time almost a week ago. And they had kissed again. A couple of times.

Okay fine, they had kissed a lot since then.

Not a lot a lot. But a lot.

Wait a minute. How much kissing was a lot of kissing?

this is adorable

“I heard he cried when he found out Lexi and Liv were dating,” David chuckled.

yup that's jace

“We have to pay to talk on the phone?” Max asked incredulously. “I thought it was free.”

“Of course it isn’t free, Max!” David chuckled. “We have to pay for WiFi too.”

“This is ridiculous!” Max said. “Next you will say we have to pay for electricity.”

“Um, we do have to pay for electricity,” David chuckled again.

we pay for water too

but max you didnt know-

“Don’t let them guilt trip you!” Max had chastised. “They like doing chores. Let them do it. They fight demons all day and then come home and do chores. I feel like it’s their form of therapy. They need this.”

cant relate nope

“I don’t know,” Max groaned. “My family is so dramatic.”

the lightwood-banes in one sentence

THERE ARE SO MANY FEELS MY HEART CANNOT CONTAIN

“Well, too late!” Max announced. “This date is going to be the best first date in the history of first of dates.”

In retrospect, he really shouldn’t have said that.

nah its gonna be great

“Perhaps you should just take him to the New York Library. They have, uh, books.”

yes that is what they keep in libraries

OH MY GOD THE FRIEND IS ELYASS

HERE'S MY FAVORITE DEMON Y'ALL

His parents would not be pleased if they knew Max was summoning demons for relationship advice.

But they had also encouraged Max to make friends with everyone regardless of their identity. So, technically this was their fault. They gave him very mixed messages.

well-

you know i really shouldnt have laughed at the demon attack news but for some reason i did

i blame my sleep deprivation

shit i feel sick

you know maybe i shouldve just waited till the morning...

ok but the demon attack is NOT coincidental

there is something going on

“I thought dragon demons were extinct!” Max yelled over the commotion.

well-

ANJALI

“Man, fuck the orders!” Max said in frustration.

if you get hurt ill kill you

oh it's not her

well fuck

“That was an Armani, you piece of shit!” Rafael yelled at the demon. Max almost laughed.

THE AUDACITY

It really did. Dragon demons smelled like they lived inside a boys locker room.

well that's nice to know

FUCK THEY ARE TALKING NOW???

ok what is going on

“Say the thing!!!”

“I’m not saying the damn thing, you maniac!”

“Say the thing!”

Rafael groaned and raised his hands, the alliance rune lighting up.

“I’m not just a shadowhunter,” Rafael said through gritted teeth. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.”

LMAO THEM

“Well, demons are stupid,” Max pointed out.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Rafael said with a mouthful of food. “You are half demon after all.”

Im so sleepy i cant even react to this

but THEM I CANT-

WHERE.IS.ALEC

Max wanted to laugh. Only David would worry about another person while being injured in the infirmary.

MUST BE PROTECTED

Max nodded; his throat still dry. He couldn’t stop staring at David. At the wound. At the blood.

Also, maybe the naked chest.

AHEM

OH MY GOD JAIME IS ALIVE

we're getting lightwood-bane fluff LET ME CRY

alec...

on one hand alec smoking is fucking hot BUT WITH THE MUNDANE DISEASES OH HELL NAH

“But it tastes so good when it’s from your plate!” Max said with a mouth full of food.

“Oh, you want my food? Here!” Rafael grinned and threw a piece of chicken at his face.

Max caught it with his mouth cause wasting food was a crime. “Thanks, bro!”

“You little s-”

HE CAUGHT IT IN HIS MOUTH

“And no fighting over chicken!” Bapak pointed out. “We can always summon some more.”

“Order,” dad corrected. “We don’t summon. We order. And then we pay.”

“How do we destroy capitalism if we have to pay for everything?” Max asked.

Max has a point y'know

“That’s rich coming from someone who is wearing an Armani jacket,” Max stuck out his tongue.

“It was a gift!” Rafael said, furiously chewing on his chicken.

“Does that mean Bapak is a capitalist?” Max asked.

LMAO

Max: What even-

Max: Can shadowhunters get high on iratzes lol

CAN THEY???

David: Mr Herondale yelled “Yes! Two out of three!”

MOOD

PLEASE RAFAEL AND MAGNUS ARE LIKE "About time"

SAME THOUGH

“David is what you get if Dad and Uncle Jace and Uncle Jem had a baby.”

STOP NO

“Oh,” Max said. “Uh, David and I…We are dating.”

Dad choked on his coffee. “Excuse me?”

Bapak chuckled next to him. “Of course you didn’t know.”

“You two are dating?” dad demanded. “Since when? Who else knows about this? Why didn’t you tell us before? Were you dating when you were in London? Magnus, did you know about this?”

“There you go!” Max yelled triumphantly. “That’s the dramatic reaction I was looking for. Thanks, dad!”

There's alec. Yup

OH MY GOD NOT THE SEX TALK

good thing i had wattpad I MEAN-

“Kissing?” dad gaped. “On the mouth???”

“Um, where else would we kiss?” Max asked incredulously.

“Well, actually,” Bapa cleared his throat. “There are many ways you can enjoy-”

IM CACKLING

And that’s how the next hour turned out to be the most painful and most embarrassing hour of his life.

Max decided he would rather get attacked by a hoard of dragon demons than sit through it any longer

“You guys know we have something called the internet, right?” Max demanded.

“Well, the internet can have mixed messages,” Bapak sniffed. “We on the other hand have real life experien-”

“Magnus!” dad looked red in the face.

“Fine,” Bapak sighed. “Now moving on to the importance of lubrication and-”

“I’m begging you to stop,” Max groaned.

THE NOISES WHICH LEFT MY MOUTH ARE NOT OK TO BE MAKING AT 3 30 AM

“I’ll have you know this conversation utterly traumatized me. I demand financial compensation.”

HE'S SO DRAMATIC

“Well,” dad said carefully. “David is…”

“French?” Max asked.

i blame my sleep deprived ass for laughing at this

next thing i know someone's being tortured and im laughing because i dont have sleep in my system

Max honey...

listen to him

i for one, dont want a repeat of pg 511 cols

oh he's finding out about the incident

that's what i call it

Max thought of all the stories he had heard then. The one of the warlock who killed people who he could bring back his dead girlfriend. The one about a nephilim mother who paired up with prince of hell to bring back her dead son.

oh yeah...

shudder

They called it The Jem effect.

AYYYYY

It was true. In fact, he used to have a crush on both Tessa and Jem. It’s how he had found he was bisexual.

very very valid. have a good day sir

AWW MAX DIDNT KNOW HE COULD BLUSH

you know it's a sign ive been watching b99 too much that i was imagining mina talking like gina...

pls send help

ALSO MINA BESTEST SDCHJDFVYDYUGFYUGFVDYVFD

“Can we not talk about my boyfriend’s sperm, please?”

im surprised my parents havent woken up by the sound i let out

BUT HEY THE DOOR'S CLOSED SO

SUGGENS MINA

“I’m hearing an inflated sense of self-importance,” he heard Ragnor call from the bathroom. “Is Magnus here?”

“Just the spawn,” Max called back.

THE SPAWN BYE-

“He is married to the Consul!” Tessa chuckled. “And one of his sons is a shadowhunter.”

“It’s still very bad for our reputation,” Ragnor grumbled. “He is too close with shadowhunters.”

“You are the headmaster of Scholomance!” Catarina said incredulously. “You teach nephilim! Even though you don’t need a job!”

“I was coerced!” Ragnor huffed. “Manipulated by the children of the angel.”

really ragnor?

The grin disappeared and Ragnor buried his face on Catarina’s shoulder. “I can’t go through this again, Cat! Not again!”

“So much for not taking up after his father, huh?” Catarina chuckled and looked at him. “That’s nice, Max. We are happy for you.”

“We are not!” Ragnor said in a muffled voice.

RAGNOR DJHDCUHUKIHDVVFDDB

OOOO MAX DIDNT KNOW ABOUT CAMILLE

a kind of endless love...

dont make me cry

“I know you are worried, love,” Tessa’s voice was a whisper. “You are worried about surviving after David. You are worried about your own heart. But you should never let that fear stop you from finding love. Because love is what sustains us immortals. It keeps us alive. When you love a mortal, you love them forever. You might not remember all the memories. The colour of their eyes or the sound of their voice. But you will remember the love. You will carry that love inside you forever. It does not make you weak or fragile. It makes you stronger. And you will forever be grateful for it.”

my eyeballs are too tired to cry

stop it

THEY SAID I LOVE YOU

I FEEL LIKE A PROUD MOM

bitch you hate children wtf-

Max laughed. “I’m going to kill dad for making us do this. God, this is so weird!”

better get it done now

HE'S DAVID'S FOREVER

dont do this to me at 4 am

“You should two should some spend time together. Get to know each other and all of that,” Max suggested with a smile. “Maybe you can bond over archery or something.”

“I’m pretty sure he would use me for target practice,” David mumbled.

“Don’t be ridiculous, David!” Max said incredulously. “My father doesn’t need target practice!”

At this point, a David and alec scene isn't a want its a NEED

“I got it all planned,” Max said – for someone who had no idea what he was going to do.

me throughout life

max Rafael isn't the one smoking-

OH MY GOD MY DAD JUST CAME TO CHECK ON ME THE WAY I SLAMMED MY LAPTOP

“Also tell him to stop smoking!” Max pointed out seriously. “It’s not good for his health! Especially with all the mundane illnesses going on.”

“I know, Max,” dad sighed heavily and blinked. “I mean, I’ll talk to him. For sure.”

Alec if anything happens to you...just know ill raise hell

“I don’t want easy,” David smiled. “I want you.”

IT'S 4 AM DUDE

AYYY THE SHANGHAI SHADOW MARKET

CELESTIAL PALACE

“Dad? The Consul? That dad?” David looked surprised and relieved all at once. “Oh my god, he doesn’t hate me!”

“Of course he doesn’t hate you!” Max chuckled. “But he did say he will put your nerd ass in the silent city if you don’t bring me home by 11.”

of course, he did

oh my god SLEEP. there is so much to do tomorrow dying...my grammar was really bad and I don't have what it takes to use Grammarly's corrections except for the ones it's already doing as type.

this chapter had my heart BURSTING!! AHHHHHHH

the talk was so important I'm so glad they took care of that. ok imma head to bed now BYEE

Eeeeeee this was a lot sfkjdfkd I hope you are okay. Get some sleep next time or I will call the police.

Thank you as always for reading, reacting and supporting 💚

#lbaf

[zukosdumbbitch]

flashbacks

work on ao3

pairing: zuko/gn reader

warnings: panic/anxiety attack

wordcount: 1076

a/n: whoops i wrote a therapy fic :o ANYWAY ive been having a terrible time which is why i havent been writing anything oops!! ill have part 2 of fire isnt just destruction posted soon i promise srry for the wait BTW this takes place during book 3 while the gaang is at ember island

-

You wished your body wouldn't do this to you - but it did.

You trembled, biting back tears. You felt cold and alone, dozens of bad memories flooding your thoughts all at once. You took a shaky breath in an attempt to calm down, but it didn't work.

Suddenly, you heaved, a choked sob escaping your throat. You couldn't hold it in anymore. You writhed in your sheets, clawing at the fabric as tears streamed down your face. You tried to be quiet despite your borderline delirious state, you didn't want to wake anyone up -

Zuko threw your door open, sword in hand as he flicked his wrist at the candles and lanterns to light up the room.

You flinched back violently and sucked in a hard, quick breath in your surprise. You made eye-contact with Zuko before burying your face in your hands and sobbing harder. The last thing you had needed was a jump scare.

You heard Zuko's sword scatter to the floor. "Y/N!" He gasped and carefully crawled across your bed. He had thought someone broke in and attacked you. He awoke immediately to your crying - he was an extremely light sleeper. Always had been since his mother disappeared.

Zuko pulled you into his arms and you wasted no time clutching onto him. You buried your wet face into the thin material of the undershirt he wore to bed. He surveyed you for a moment before deciding that you weren't physically hurt. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" He asked softly, pulling you further into his chest as your sobs shook you.

You dragged your face across his shirt to try and dry your sticky cheeks. You tried to be present, feel Zuko's arms around you, the comforting way he rubbed your bicep. You pulled away slightly and sniffed, swallowing the mucus and ultimately coughing. Zuko patted your back. "I - " You tried to speak, voice weak and broken. "Really bad nightmare." You desperately sought out words that would summarize your state as succinctly as possible. "Flashbacks." You squeaked. The word itself brought a traumatizing event back to the forefront of your mind and whatever semblance of calm you managed to choke out your response was gone.

Zuko hugged you tight and your arms came around his neck so you could borrow into his throat. "It's okay." His warm hands stroked your upper back. "You don't have to talk about it."

You cried, your tears cooling the hot skin of Zuko’s neck. “It’s all too much.” You croaked. The flashbacks, the war, how you suddenly remembered your present responsibility as the Avatar’s allies - you were overwhelmed. You shook uncontrollably.

Zuko was utterly heartbroken at your state. He knew how you felt, in his own way. How helpless and scared these fits made one feel. Panic attacks are what his uncle called them. He tried to remember how his uncle would comfort him; Zuko had started to block out memories of his panic attacks once they stopped happening regularly. “It’s okay, you’re safe.” He whispered. “I won’t let anything happen to you.” He rocked you gently.

You took in his words, taking a deep breath. They made you feel warm inside, less alone and empty, but your thoughts were still difficult to control.

“Breathe with me.” Zuko said, pulling away to look down at you. You wanted to hide your face, you knew you were a complete and utter mess, but the genuine look in Zuko’s eyes made you nod your head. 

Zuko slowly breathed in through his nose and you mimicked him through your trembling. You wiped your face with your forearm and released your breath when Zuko breathed out. He continued to coach you through your sniffling and hiccups and sobs and your head slowly started to clear.

You launched yourself back into Zuko’s arms. He thought for a moment he had done something wrong until you spoke. “You’re so sweet. No one’s ever done that for me.” You said weakly, voice still teary.

His arms came back around you. “Of course.” Panic attacks were hard. He never thought for a second to make someone suffer through one alone.

You pulled back and continued to dry your face. Zuko scrambled for a handkerchief and presented it to you. “Thanks.” You said simply before blowing your nose. Your eyes were sore and your sinuses felt stuffed. You made a mental note to stop rubbing your eyelids. “I’m sorry.” You mumbled suddenly.

Zuko looked shocked. “For what?”

“For waking you up and crying all over you.” You answered meekly.

“Don’t be. I thought you were in danger. And I’d never leave you alone while you’re hurting. I’ll always be here for you.”

His words struck you more strongly than you’d anticipated. You started sobbing again, but this time because you’d never felt so cared for.

Zuko held you again, worried. “What’s wrong? Did I say something?”

“No!” You squeaked through tears. “You’re just so nice it actually made me cry.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

You shook your head, giggling at his response.

Zuko continued to rub your back. “I’m your friend. I’m here when you need it.”

“You’re a really good friend.” You replied, giving him a small smile. He smiled back.

Suddenly, your fatigue hit you. You wanted nothing more than to be back asleep. However, the thought of having to do that alone disturbed you. You had just barely recovered from a panic attack, after all. “Would you stay here with me? For the night?” You looked at Zuko and became uncertain of your request. “I - I mean you don’t have to, especially after everything you’ve done -”

“Of course I’ll stay with you.” Zuko cut off your stammering. He brushed some hair from your forehand and out of your eyes. He smiled.

You smiled stupidly back and nodded. “Okay.” You began to get back into your sheets and move over to give Zuko room when you noticed he started to leave the bed. “No, you can sleep on the bed.” 

Zuko turned to look at you. “You sure?”

“Mhm.” You hummed. 

You sunk down into the pillows and watched Zuko settle down next to you and motion to snuff out the lanterns. You rolled on your side to face him and held out your arms. To your delight, Zuko gave you an awkward smile and pulled you into his chest. He held you tight, he never wanted you to feel unsafe again.

“G’night.” You mumbled into his chest.

“Good night.” 

#zuko x reader #zuko fanfiction #zuko fluff #zuko imagine #angst #fluff #gn reader #nyx writes #mine #fic

[yeoldontknow]

❧ check in tag

tagged by the sweetest angel @propinqxity to do this little tag. this is such a cute list of questions, and some of these i dont think ive been asked before. thank you so much for the tag and the tumblr crush mention lovely. you truly are a bright spot on this website and i mean that sincerely <333

going under a cut because im certain i will ramble ~

1. Why did you choose this url?

its sort of like a pun between yall dont know and the fact that, hopefully, sincerely, chanyeol does not in fact know that i run this blog lmao i changed to this after a long time of being bread-jinie and i wanted to rebrand. i will, however, do my best to never change URLs again because the masterlist switch over was a complete hassle

2. Any sideblogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them

i have a fic recs blog called @yeoldontknowiread. as to why i have it, i know it hasnt been updated in ages since ive been kind of on hiatus, but i think reading and sharing work on this platform is immensely important. i actually read quite a lot of fanfiction, and i try my best to share the things i read. im very very behind on recs at the moment cause i try my best to write something substantial for every recommendation i make. as a writer, i know exactly the kinds of thoughts and feedback on fics that make my heart soar so i try to put in the same energy to my recs. community is only fostered when there is reciprocation

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

hmmm since april 2017. i actually had my 4 year anniversary this year and i did have plans for things but i got roped into real life things and couldnt celebrate the way i truly wanted to :(

4. Do you have a queue tag?

no but sometimes i think i should. i view tags as a library on top of my knee jerk response to things. most of my tags are just my initial thoughts or feelings at any given moment, so those take precedence over a specific queue tag

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

when i was getting into exo, i was reading fanfiction like crazy. i used to write fanfic quite a lot in other fandoms, but at that time i hadnt written anything in about 2.5 years. exo was the first re-introduction to that feeling of excitement and inspiration. after about 3 weeks of straight reading, i decided i wanted to write again. i wrote the prologue to hero in about two hours and tried logging into AO3 to post it. sadly i forgot all of my log in information because it had been years, and was getting frustrated. i really wanted to put it somewhere out of fear that id lose interest if i didnt do something with it, and everything id read had been on tumblr. so i made a tumblr just to put hero lmao i didnt have any mutuals. it was a blog with straight 0. i hadnt even created an account to interact with writers before that moment, i really thought id be a silent reader forever. but exo woke me back up and for that i am eternally grateful.

6. Why did you choose your icon?

the yours music video is...so stunning? like the colour theory throughout the whole thing is truly so inspiring and gorgeous. and this shot of chanyeol looking at the painting took my breath away, truly. tulips and the color of peach, like do you know how evocative that is? ugh

7. Why did you choose your header

my header was made by @jamaisjoons for my birthday this year because shes literally the most talented person when it comes to graphics. and this was so kind of her to do, i cried a lot

8. What's your post with the most notes?

uhm....either the body through time or truth i cant remember which but i checked recently and its one of those

9. How many mutuals do you have?

honestly at this point im not even sure. i know ive lost a bunch while i was on hiatus because i was basically a dead blog, and some people do dash cleanses. and im certain others have left, too, for their own reasons. still, i have a good core of friends though who are active and that is enough for me

10. How many followers do you have?

more than i probably deserve

11. How many people do you follow?

399

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

uhm i guess? there was a time when nng was not updated and every wednesday id post the days go by music video in sadness and grief but im not a big shitposter. if i make a text post its usually a life update or me crying about chanyeol, theres no inbetween lmao

13. How often do you use Tumblr every day?

tbh i havent used tumblr that often, not since march i think. i used to use it many times a day, checking in on friends and stuff, but once i started focusing on my phd applications i was only here sporadically. i didnt make an announcement either, just let my blog run on queue so i wasnt totally gone. i think i was checking in twice a week or maybe once every two weeks to refill my queue and check mentions etc. but now that my interviews are done im trying to get back on here daily to reconnect

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

ive had my share of disagreements with people and any details about those situations shall remain as they are meant to: private

15. How do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

in what context? like, you need to reblog this or your wish wont come true? or like, please reblog this to spread the word/spread awareness, etc? in the case for the former, i scroll right by. in the case of the latter, if im around and see someone raising a go fund me or some major event is occurring and i find a post with good sources or charities i will reblog. mostly though, the full extent my activism isnt really on this blog. its my escape from reality. my activism is usually placed on other platforms.

16. Do you like tag games?

i doooo!!! theyre so fun i love learning about my friends

17. do you like ask games?

i love those too! theyre so cute and usually a nice way to have interaction immediacy with people in the community

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

no one. can we please abandon this notion of fame on tumblr? arent we all here to write about some dick and some smut and some fluff and then hang out together and log off? lmao tumblr isnt reality and followers/fame is so arbitrary on this platform, no one has any control over any of it

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

i am in love with so many people here. let me name a few:

@yehet-me-up @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @j-pping @jamaisjoons @inkedtae @kookdiaries @yoonia @dulcetvk @kithtaehyung @imdifferentshadesofpurple @ditzymax @sugaurora @sahmbtsficrecs @junghelioseok @yeojaa @augustbutwinter @joonscore @btssavedmylifeblr @cutechim @sunshinekims @kimtaehyunq @ouvuo @delhyun @exo-stentialism @sooibian @softyoongiionly @jinseunie @zibermuda @bratkook @1kook @luffles424 @xjoonchildx

and so many other people and mutuals that i am certainly forgetting. love is such an expansive feeling, and it encompasses platonic ardor and creative desire. i admire every single person listed for so many different reasons, and cherish and treasure them or what they provide to the community. love is such an important and broad experience. truly, i hope they feel adored every single day x

#check in tag

[babysizedfics]

I need to know about doctor mama lo taking care of a sick baby Virgil if you would like pretty please. I dont wanna ask on the in character blog cuz I feel like it would be weird to ask for details and lo seems kinda busy anyway lol.

hey tumblebee!! yeah yeah lets do this, Im gonna write it so that ppl who dont follow the other blog can understand too

WARNING IF U HAVENT ALREADY BLOCKED THE TAGS ILLNESS TW AND VOMIT TW THEY ARE VERY PREVALENT IN THIS

also this is a VERY long headcanon!!

so last night vee got ill, he had been regressed in the afternoon with patton and he was acting much more fussy than usual - not being entertained by his cartoons, not having the energy to play with his rattle, pretty much constantly whining and pouting and he gets very wriggly when he's fussy

patton assumed it was because vee had been upset earlier that day. at one point vee started gripping his stomach, and patton assumed its because he was hungry and could smell the food roman was cooking

but when dinner came around no matter how hard patton tried he couldnt get vee to eat a morsel - he kept turning his head away from the food and whining. at one point patton and logan both managed to convince him to eat a spoonful but his face crumpled with a wince and it looked almost painful for him to swallow it. it was at this point logan noticed he had a faint sheen of sweat on his forehead

things fell into place quickly after that - logan checked his temperature and it was indeed slightly higher than was healthy, they noticed vee's hands were trembling and he was constantly on the verge of tears :(

while patton cleared away dinner and excused roman who wanted to go and craft in his room, logan took vee to his bedroom and tried to check for more symptoms, since vee was non verbal and unresponsive totheir questions. he tested his tummy by pushing it a little to see if the pain got worse when he released it (this is a test for appendicitis) but there was no reaction thankfully except vee being upset by logan not cuddling him. he checked his throat for any redness or infection, nothing.

vee's crying became more pronounced and eventually he was in constant tears, occassionally pleading 'mama mama' through sniffles and hiccups and whines of pain :(( Patton brought him a baby bottle of cooled tea made with fresh mint leaves since that is supposed to help stomach pains. though he left the room again since logan thought it was best not to crowd virgil. Vee's crying had dissipated but he was strangely silent and seemed almost loopy now. he only drank a little of the tea before he pushed it away with a gag.

logan immediately took him to the bathroom knowing what was coming, and sure enough vee threw up into the toilet, crying between gags. logan dutifully managed to keep vee in his lap the whole time and held his hair and rubbed his back, telling him he was such a good boy the whole time

Thankfully it didnt last long as there wasnt much in vees stomach to be emptied. he was shivering and sweating and flushed and had lost all energy. he wasnt even crying anymore, just whimpering under his breath. with a bit of a struggle logan managed to show him how to rinse his mouth out with mouthwash - though he had to hold vee over the sink and pat his back to make sure he didnt swallow it

during all of this patton wasnt able to help because of his heightened empathy, if he sees someone throwing up the likeihood is he will too and that wiuldnt be very helpful! so instead he drives to the store to pick up some medicine and ice pops - and comes back with half the store including some actual baby medicine smh - ((im actually begging u to read that linked post i think its so funny))

it was originallly meant to be logans night to put roman to bed but understandably patton took on that task instead. after roman was drifting off patton pokes his head into vee's room. he had hoped to find lo and vee asleep but they werent. they were lying in the dark with an in the night garden audio story playing on a portable speaker and with vees salt lamp and star night light lighting up the room in a soft glow.

logan offered a strained little smile and nod to patton as he stroked vee's hair and cuddled him close. vee was completely out of it honestly. his body was wholly lax against his mama, his lips were in a permanent pout and his eyes were puffy and wet. he barely even acknowledged his papa coming in, his teary eyes just settled on him for a moment then dropped back to the bedsheets without a reaction. he kept lifting his thumb up to suck on it but logan kept capturing it and apologising as he brought it away. Vee shouldnt suck on his thumb and logan doesnt want to give him a paci while he's ill. understandably, baby vee was completely miserable.

patton asks if logan thinks vee could handle a popsicle or plain crackers at the moment but logan disagrees. he doesnt expect either of them to get much sleep so he will make sure vee eats something in a few hours. with a gentle kiss on vee's forehead patton goes off to bed, confident that logan will be able to look after vee and will come get him if theres any issues

logan and vee really dont sleep much at all. Vee drifts off for a few minutes at a time then gasps awake from vivid fever dreams. logan keeps ice cubes in a bowl by the bed for vee to suck on if he needs to cool down and wraps a couple in a flannel to press to vee's head when his fever rises in the middle of the night.

around 3am logan jolts awake and realises he had drifted off. and vee isnt anywhere in the room. he panics momentarily, bolting up from the bed and dashing to the closet to see if virgil is in there - which he tends to do when he is overwhelmed - but then he hears sniffling from the bathroom.

he finds vee, no longer regressed, curled up against the side of the bathtub with his bangs clinging to his sweaty head. vee is the palest person logan knows but he looks positively grey at the moment

'can i help in any way?' he asks, aware that he doesnt need to baby talk at the moment but still eager to look after this bundle of miserableness

virgil just groans under his breath and clutches his knees to his chest. 'i.. i didnt know what to do with the..' he gestures vaguely to something on the floor

logan notices virgil, being not regressed anymore, had obviously wrestled off the diaper he had been changed into the night before and not known how to dispose of it

'its ok, ive got it' logan wraps it up in a bag and puts it in the trash can they have in the room for just this purpose

'sorry.. m stupid' virgil croaks

'You're not stupid.' logan says firmly as he washes his hands 'You're ill and probably delirious from the fever. it's alright virgil'

theres quiet for a bit longer, virge's head pressed against the porcelain edge of the bathtub likely in an attempt to cool his fever. logan stays there with him for a while just waiting. then suddenly virgil starts sobbing and buries his face in his hands.

'sweetheart, tell me whats wrong please' logan hurries to kneel beside him, lifting his hands away from his face. that wouldnt help the fever

'i dont feel well' virgil cries pathetically, tears rolling down his face.

logans heart breaks 'no, you dont. i'm sorry little one, i know its not nice'

at the nickname virgils thumb raises to his lips again, which logan hurriedly intercepts. 'i'll make you a deal, okay? you're allowed to use a pacifier, but you have to use the same one everyday until you are better. we will need to sterilise it every night too.'

vee sniffles and nods, then chokes 'm not a baby right now though'

'that doesnt matter. you dont need to be regressed to want one of your pacis, vee'

vee is unresponsive and starts scratching at his pyjama pants. logan gets a feeling he isnt saying something. then he notices virgil's pout is much more infantile than his adult ones. 'are you feeling little, baby?'

with a harsh shake of his head vee starts crying again. he whispers 'dont wanna be a b...' then cuts himself off and whimpers

logan cards his fingers through virgils damp bangs. he knows what virgils mind has jumped to. 'were you going to say you dont want to be a baby?' he lifts virgils chin up to look at him 'or that you dont want to be a burden?'

virgils pale lip wobbles 'same fing'

'no sweetheart, no no no,' logan sits on the tiles beside vee and pulls him into his lap. virgil goes willingly. logan rocks his baby as he says 'youre always always allowed to be a baby and its never ever going to upset your family. even if you're an adorable wonderful brave baby boy alllll of the time' he scribbles his finger on virgils rosy cheek and delights at the tiny smile it earns him. 'but especially when you're feeling yucky. you feel a bit yucky today dont you, little one?'

vee nods with a pout

'but yknow whats not yucky? softies and pacis and diapers and lots and lots of cuddles with mama' he holds virgil tighter to prove his point. vee sighs and drops his head to nuzzle against his mama's neck. logan feels he still has a slight fever. 'i know what might help you feel less yucky. does my sweet baby want a sweet ice pop?'

thankfully vee nods against his shoulder and grips tight onto his pyjama shirt, preparing for when logan lifts him up

he first makes sure to change vee into another diaper and even decides that he should wear one of mama's t-shirts as a light dress so he doesnt get as overheated by his pyjamas. at this point vee actually giggles for the first time pretty much all day as he feels the tshirt swish lazily around his legs. logan makes a mental note to observe whether little vee might want to try wearing dresses if the feeling sparks this much joy (at this point logan is unaware that vee has secretly been trying skirts and dresses in his room for months, and roman found out a few weeks ago, but vee isnt ready to tell the cgs yet)

by the time vee is in his diaper and mamas tshirt dress and has a paci and jiji clutched to his chest he is a lot calmer and happier. he's still very ill and exhausted and teary, but theres a tiny smile on his face instead of a pout. in the kitchen he picks a strawberry ice pop and it goes down well, logan convinces him to have a cracker too though vee is in such a young headspace by then that he is just sucking on it, which logan supposes is fine too

by the (real) morning vee is still regressed and has managed to have a couple hours undisturbed sleep. its not much but its better than nothing. logan didnt fare much better. by then vee misses his papa and asks for him and logan hands the responsibility over to papa patton, trustinf the other caregiver enough to catch up on a quick power nap himself

but yes, the main thing is vee thought being ill was a burden enough that he shouldnt be regressed too, but logan makes him see that its okay. vee is regressed pretty much the whole time he is ill over the next few days because its stressful and painful and its a lot easier to feel comforted when ur a baby

yeah! gosh that was long, theres probably a billion spelling mistakes! feel free to ask follow up Qs if i missed anything u wanted to know abt this event

#little/big concepts #illness tw #vomit tw #food mention #long post #asks #tumblebee the smol bean

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

i am ready

already starting out with a bop

yo this is great

also im tapping my foot as a stim bc these are good

facetime with my mom tonight reminds me of like.....pop videos....like pop music videos, im saying it reminds me of “what do you mean” by justin bieber, as it was also shot in a single room

ah yes the butterfly effect

hello socko

socko be spittin’ facts

aw :( poor socko

NSID

if only the companies during pride month said the same lol (some are legit)

“against racism in theory” uh-

yo butterfingers are kinda nasty (to me)

an avocado

A WHITE WOMANS INSTAGRAM OH MY GOD

damn it got real, you good white woman’s instagram owner

a dreamcatcher bought from urban outfitters oml

some ppl can shut the fuck up lol...i cant, i choose not to

for an hour, hell yes

also this lighting is very nice

yo what the fu-

*cries in inception*

him reacting to him reacting (and on and on) glass after glass, i honestly really like how he portrayed that. that’s kinda how it feels when i go on a tangent, and have to pick up the pieces of my original thought, especially if i’ve lost my train of thought.

IVE HEARD TIKTOK AUDIO OF BEZOS AND I OH MY GOD

ITS SO GOOD

this is going on repeat, and i love the meaning

the scream is really good too

im....horny honestly same

you send me a peach....ill send a carrot back...cool cool

we love asking for consent (as should everyone)

sit why do you have a knife

the sexting song reminds me of “orange juice” by melanie martinez

sir why do you have a knife-

*disassociates*

“well well, look who’s inside again, went out to look for a reason to hide again”

i didnt need to be called out

ah yes a wet hair segment

this is so 80s, giving me “holding out for a hero” we love it

bitch im trying to listen, shit ive been complicit, my brain

age is a very scary thing. i feel like a lot of people start throwing others away once they’ve reached a certain age and that isn’t really okay. people should be able to enjoy what they want to enjoy at any age (within reason, of course). the venom that some people face is so....gross. just because they’re in their 30s and enjoy reading fanfics, or making them like??? they arent hurting anyone, mind your fucking business. im honestly happy that a lot of my pals are older on here. i may not know what the fuck they’re talking about sometimes, but there’s still a lot of shared experiences, and things like that.

im absolutely terrified of getting older. i know and understand that i’m young, i’m literally 15 years old, what do i need to be scared of.....a lot. i just dont have a good relationship with death, and sometimes i lie awake at night, thinking about how nothing in life is permanent, besides the life cycle itself. things live, and things die. and i know it happens, i’ve just yet to accept it.

for so long, i’ve wanted to “be a big kid” and do all these different things, but i just...dont know. i feel like my brain is older than my body. and my thoughts, and things i like. it’s really weird. i’ve been told that im “mature for my age” and all that, which i see as a compliment, rather than someone trying to be a predator. which is understandable in both aspects. but i sometimes wonder if i wasnt...me...y’know. if i wasnt mature for my age, and looked a bit younger. (i look young in general, but eh, you get it) i look tired sometimes, (its because i probably am) but it’s odd. anyways, back to me reacting.

turning 30 is a bop

hes not out of touch, it’s honestly fine to not be on social media and shit

yeah, i already disassociate enough, it happens mostly when im listening to music...hmm

2030 i’ll be 40 and kill myself then.......yeah

ME EXPLAINING WHY I SAY WHAT I SAY SO PEOPLE DONT WORRY

dear lord, yeah its too real

i know i dont want to, but i really just....want things to stop sometimes. so i can breathe, and gather my bearings and get through it. things get a lot and i just need a break.

YO WHY DO I RELATE DEAR LORD

i really need help jesus christ

thank you for cleaning me mr burnham

yes i like the show, im not tired of it, its just fine :)

yo he put a whole game in this shit, hell yeah

yeah i want out of the house, but like......AUGH no

why tf is this so accurate

wake up at literally 4 in the afternoon, feeling like a bag of shit (oh no)

if i mentally feel like shit, i cant sleep it off lol, my dreams exhaust me at that point

“could i interest you in everything all of the time” me listening to tunes

THATS WHERE THE MANIACAL LAUGHING SOUND IS FROM AND IT CUTS OFF I DIDNT KNOW THIS INFORMATION

love ur forehead glowstick dude

i like the idea of it being like...contained, but im sure that im losing it because i havent been like...NEAR OTHER PEOPLE. the pandemmie has NOT been great. anyway.

total disassociation, total out your mind, googling derealization, hating what you find

PLEASE THIS IS TOO ACCURATE

aw :(

its 4 in the morning so my hands are gonna be up, and im just looking at him

this is so beautiful

yo he put a “the living tombstone” on that one

him sitting on the chair reminds me of the one scene in “kill your darlings” where the main character has diarrhea, and they’re sitting on a chair bare ass naked (so they dont have to take the pants off, yada yada) while also writing on a typewriter.

yo this was great

okay i admit that i was mad sad earlier, but like....im fine now. and especially not now. i’ve been told not to watch inside when not in a good mental state, and i get it. im fine now, but that was good. i honestly laughed more than anything. i dont feel like crying. it represented a lot of my thoughts and feelings well. i like it.

#ellie livewatches inside by bo burnham

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

You guys are all beyond sweet and nice

I almost cried after i posted about not being in a good place and needing distractions when you guys immediately delivered with nice messages and wonderful headcanons. And i mean cried in a good way. It really cheered me up and made my day so much better! So i wanted to personally thank you all both together and indiviually because youre all more than i deserve? Youre all most definitely more than i deserve to have following me and as friends (Here comes the sap and platonic pet names)

@bootsinthesun oh my god you were the first to see and reply to my post, and all yoire headcanons were lovely and adorable and i kept going into the notes to re-read them, i couldnt stop smiling. Youre very sweet and it meant alot to be

@imbasicallyshakespear you!! Are so nice and sweet!! Hun youre headcanons and ideas for patton were so cute i had to put the phone done for a second and you were right, it wasnt permanant, you definitely made sure of that. I also saw your tag about sending me love or youd fight people and i was just, so touched??? By that i cant express it that was so sweet and kind of you youre a lovely human being

@unsocialchapeau my friend!! Youre too nice to me!! You put up with my silly ideas and tidbits in your inbox and when i was in need of cheering up you delivered swiftly and greatly! The idea of deceits scales changing color and the roceit was so adorable i think i might draw it tonight or tomorrow its still stuck in my head! Youre so creative and i love hearing your ideas( and dont worry ive been staying perfectly hydrated i promise!)

@deadlier-than-i-look youre meowrails both almost made me cry and made me squeal! I see you in my notes pretty frequently and it makes me happy knowing youre following me, seeing you pop up always makes me smile!!

@jemthebookworm aaaaaaaa!!!! Youre also so sweet jem! You always pop up in my notes when i post art and anything and it always makes me happy! I really appreciated you wishing me better soon you didnt have to and your headcanon! Was! The! Cutest!moxciet! Ever! It also inspired ideas which helped me calm down and cheer up even more!! Youre always so nice and kind hun and it warms my heart!

@soilrockslove new friend!! We havent talked much before your dave and nepeta headcanon but i deeply appreciate you sending it in to cheer me up anyway! That was sweet of you hun thank you so much!!

@riarites friend!!!❤ youre so sweet! And your headcanons were so lovely and sweet!! Im definitely going to try to illustrate the roceit one it was so cute!!

@strawberryjellystuff you also put up with all my shenanigins in your inbox!!! And in general!! Your so nice and great and sweet ann! I always get excite when i see your blogs notification come up!!! Even more so when we talk or interact!!

@phantommoonpeople where...where do i even begin? You were there today...and if you hadnt been i dont know if i wouldve come out ok like i did. You brought me out of my dissociation and a panic attack and still managed to make me laugh through my tears and i cant express in words how much that means to me. How much you mean to me. Youre the greatest person ive ever known and id die for you(evem though you protest this) and having you here with me today is what got me through the worst ofnthe stress(and im sorry for freaking out on you it was not in the agenda i swear) i love you so much babe ❤❤❤

And again thank you to all of you for making a shitty time into a great time! I wouldnt have bounced back without you, and i cherish all of you alot, whether we've talked a billion times or a few times or even none at all. I hope you guys have a great rest of your day/night i need to go to bed and @phantommoonpeople will kill me if they find out im still awake! Love you all!

#grace speaks #thank you letter #thank you!! #thank you thank you thank you #thank you #youre all so sweet #youre all amazing #i cried #sander sides #sander sides relates #sander sides headcanon #headcanons #homestuck #love you all

[thedankfaerie]

i am posting this here because i am tired of burdening my boyfriend with my feelings. this is a little nsfw. and this is my call for help. i dont know who to talk to anymore about this.

i need someone to hear what i feel

or at least, a free space to say what i feel 

im in a low place. i feel so awful about myself and my body and i hate this feeling. i hate that this time last year, i was so happy about the way i looked. i was working this awful job that had me so overworked and overtired and poorly treated that i skipped meals and slept through meals regularly... i lost so much weight from stress in just a year and was the skinniest i had ever been. mentally, i was not in a good place being exploited by my managers... but my self esteem re: my body was at a new level i never knew could exist for me.

last year, i felt powerful and confident about my body, and i expressed that through sexuality. i was fucking my ex that i still liked (i grew out of wanting him back, but he never did, and it was nice to have the upper hand). i was also fucking an old fwb that i stayed friends with, that was also recently single, so we reunited again at the perfect time. i was also seeing this one guy (now my boyfriend) so if ever i got tired of the sex i at least was able to calm down and settle down with someone who genuinely wanted to know me. of course, i ended up catching feelings for this guy, and cut off the other two to pursue something more serious (we are now dating and are moving in together next month!) anyways, it was so nice to be wanted. to feel... i guess sexy? sex is empowering. and it shouldn’t be taboo to say that as a woman, or anyone really. i dont want to give off the message that a woman’s validation is fueled by men’s desire - but hey, don’t you feel flattered when someone thinks you’re attractive? desire and lust aren’t everything... but they matter. and they have an impact on how you feel about yourself, whether or not you believe me when i say that is up to you. 

 and i hate that i would gladly put myself through the stress that i did just to feel happy about my body. before the summer ended, i finally had enough and i quit my shitty job. i was jobless for a month, but was able to enjoy the rest of the summer with my new ‘skinny’ body - last year i took my first bikini picture ... a 2 piece! i have never done that. i still think about how happy i was that summer to look and feel good about myself. 

i have struggled with self esteem issues since highschool. i always felt like i was too big. i used to follow all these blogs of pretty people and try to copy their poses to feel pretty and i used to spend hours after school trying on short dresses and clothes to stare at my body in the mirror. i used to starve myself to the point of literally wanting to faint on the daily, until finally i admitted it to one of my teachers. she respectfully asked if i wanted to speak with the school guidance counsellor, and i declined. but she encouraged me to speak up to at least a friend, so i did, and it helped, and for a long time, i was okay. after i graduated that teacher still checked up on me for a few years every now and again.

4th year university was when i realized how much i had let myself go. i was the heaviest i had ever been, it was my graduating year, i was looking for a job and was always worried about my grades. every time i was stressed or every time i needed to study i bought pad thai and bubble tea. a ritual. i didnt realize how much that had caught up to me until i saw old pictures of myself. at this point, i started my (shitty) job, straight out of graduation.

i actively avoided scales, i didn’t like looking at the number because it just made me upset. and i already felt upset looking in the mirror, i didn’t need something else to make me upset. but i did. and i was 20 pounds heavier than i was in highschool - the heaviest i had ever been.

i cried.

i didnt do much about it. i was too busy. my first job out of uni was a brand new daycare and i was head teacher of a toddler class - also i was the only staff on floor since there were not as many kids. there was nobody to train me, at all. i had to teach myself everything. i had no time. 

a little while before starting the job, i met this guy. he was so hot, but such a dick - we had a “thing” but it was so toxic. he started off interested in me, but i turned him down. his attitude changed and he started being a douche, but we became friends because we were seeing each other so often. i didn’t have a car yet. he was driving me everywhere. he lived 5 minutes away. he was the type of friend that would text me “im outside, lets go out”. we hung out as friends at first, we would have “study dates”, until we started hooking up. we acted like a thing but he denied we were ever one - but got mad at me whenever i tried to look elsewhere. but i guess in that time, it was nice to be wanted, especially by someone so attractive. 

but again, a year in that shithole job went by fast. i would stay late after work. i would come in on weekends. i was expected to not only help new kids transition, but train new partners. and given that my supers refused to support me, i watched a lot of people quit due to pressure. i had to keep retraining. and kids kept coming. that never stopped. i can honestly say my class wasn’t settled until december, and i started in september. everyday it was ‘its fine, it will get better’. 

a year in that shithole, with 0 support, and i lost all the weight i gained - and more. i was the skinniest i had ever been. even in highschool. i looked at old pictures of myself from when i started the job at my heaviest. i couldnt believe that was me. and i was so happy looking at myself in the mirror. for once! 

after i quit that job, i started another job that i hoped would be a happy ending.

and it wasn’t. it stressed me out just as much. i also moved out by this point, a month after i started this job. my hours are whack. 7-9, 11:30-6. i woke up early and got home late. i never had free time. my last shift at my old job was 7-3:30 and i had the whole day to myself. im someone that needs social interaction and alone time, and by the time i got home i was so tired, i would just cook, clean, shower, and go to bed. and that was my life. sometimes i would get so tired that i couldn’t cook, i just went and ate out. i tried to make personal time with my friends after work but by the time i reached their house, it was late, and places were closed. and id have to leave early anyways because i had work early the next day... so fast food was the only way to make this work. on top of this, this was the most difficult class that i had ever had. the kids behaviours’ were so difficult and i couldn’t handle it. i would cry in my car 3x a week. i would cry 4 minutes before my shift starts in the washroom and walk out and pretend i was okay. i would have my boyfriend come over as much as i could just so i could cry in his arms. i couldnt leave this job because i had just moved out and having a consistent rent payment was a huge responsibility for me. as well, if you know anything about ECEs in canada, just know we make shit pay. but this job pays me better than most ECE jobs... by a landslide. AND gives me benefits, which is so hard to find. i am still at this job - i was at my breaking point at the time covid started, so i was rejoicing when we closed for covid. i havent worked since march, but i needed that time off so desperately. 

with that being said, i gained the weight back.

not everything, but i definitely could tell i was packing on some pounds.

cue covid.

i havent worked since march. i fell back into a lazy routine of ordering fast food. lying in bed. resting. just enjoying NOT dealing with my difficult class. 

but i gained it all back. and i think im back at my heaviest weight. i picked up all my summer clothes from last year from my moms... half of them dont fit me. my favourite pair of shorts won’t close. i just sat and cried in a mess of clothes on my floor in front of the mirror. this was last week.

im trying to tell myself, ‘you’re in the middle of a global pandemic, go easy on yourself’... but do you know what it’s like to finally get what you’re chasing, and have it be taken away from you? i finally had a taste of what it was like to look AND feel good about myself. something ive wanted since i was a teenager...and it’s gone. it’s my fault and i accept that, so please don’t tell me i did this to myself. i know i did. but i can still be upset about it. i look in the mirror and i try to suck my stomach in and pretend nothing changed but its not the same. i see old pictures of myself, especially that bikini pic. ironically, i captioned it “i will never have the confidence to take a bikini pic again”... and here we are. i look at the clothes i wore last year and remember how fucking good i felt wearing them. i try putting them back on and seeing my stomach bulging and my arms looking fat and my love handles, something i didn’t see last year. and i just take them off and opt to wear something frumpier that doesnt hug my figure.

i try to tell people about how i feel but i cant take those ‘love yourself and all your flaws’ campaigns seriously. i dont think i can listen to another ‘you have to just keep faking it until you make it and if u just tell urself ur beautiful u will feel beautiful!’

because if you’re me, you know you cant kid yourself. if you’re me you can’t ‘love every flaw’. you fixate on them. and you let them define you. and if youre me, flaws are all you see.

i hate myself for getting back to this point. 

i have a very supportive boyfriend that knows about all this, who is trying to actively get me to go on runs with him. we are trying to go for walks more and be out and about. he reminds me of little things, like if we are getting bubbletea he will suggest i go with less sugar. he is trying, we are trying. and i appreciate him so much.

today i complained in my car about this to my boyfriend, again. for the millionth time. and he still was supportive. but i just feel like i cant keep doing this to him. he said something today, which i think was him trying to give me a reality check to show me that i cant just wish i could starve myself and overwork myself to lose weight and call it a day... but it stung. he said “i don’t want to be with someone that’s not healthy. i have standards too” and i realized then he deserves so much better than to fucking babysit my complaining ass. i am 24. and i shouldnt be putting this on him. he is an adult with problems just as real as mine and i shouldnt be burdening him with this anymore. 

im scared to talk to him about how that comment made me feel, because he’s so right, and he has every right to leave me. i would honestly. the amount that i worry and fixate on all my flaws and complain and have crying breakdowns about this is not fucking normal. and it shouldnt be his problem. i just want him to be with someone that doesnt give him this baggage. he met me in my ‘prime’ days when i just started getting my skinny body last year. when we finally started dating, we were super sexually active. and i mean, having sex like 15 times a week. im not kidding. now we havent had sex in almost an entire month. i dont feel sexy anymore and its impacting my sex drive.. he tries to start it with me and i just can’t because i feel like he is probably repulsed by my body. this is a huge huge huge problem, seeing as sex was a huge part of our relationship (we are very emotionally in tune with one another, but sex was a great addon because we both love it so much). i hate the way i look without clothes on. i cant bring myself to do it because it makes me feel like shit about myself.

but we are moving in together next month. and that is a huge step. and i am worried that i will never change, and he’s going to feel like he’s stuck with me because he’s moving 40 minutes away from his hometown to live with me. i almost want us to break up so he can be with someone with less baggage but i also love him and i want to be better for him and for us. 

someone please help me. 

#help #lol

[itsyourbby]

💔Cheater💔katsuki bakugou x reader

Warning the fallowing text contains..

-curse words

-rough sex (sorda)

-a hurtful topic (author-Chan hates seeing one of her favorite characters cheat on her reader which hurts her😅)(oops spoiler)

You have been warnedddd

________________________

Ever since I first laid my eyes on him...I loved him...I didn't mind his  weird muttering habit,matter a fact I loved it! I didn't mind how shy he was,it made him seem cute, I loved everything about him from his big feet to his green curly hair,

i didn't mind his determination towards being the number one hero,I truly didn't,but because of leaving him be and letting him study or whatever for that excuse I didn't seem to realize.....that he was cheating on me....

~A few weeks ago~

"Hey izuku?" I said with a hopeful determination that he might want to watch a movie.

"Y-yeah..? What's up (y/n)~San..?"he asked with a bit of nervousness.

"Can we watch a movie?! We almost never have time for our relationship..You're always busy with your determination of being the top hero...Oh I'm not annoyed about that but just...can I be noticed by you for once..?"I looked down and noticed that uraraka came into the living room.

Izuku looked at uraraka and gave her a worried look,uraraka on the other hand gave izuku a mad glare...hearing a big sigh I looked up.

"S-sorry (y/n) but I got loads of work I got to finish and give to all might..I'll see you later alright..?"

Like always..that same stupid..excuse...

Feeling a weak peck on the cheek I hear him start talking to uraraka.

"That was tough"

I gasp and looked at my right realizing that bakugou was leaning on the wall with his hands in his pockets this whole time.

"O-oh katsuki..hey.."you might wonder why I'm calling bakugou by his first name..well long story short I was sad about izuku not noticing me and he seemed to notice me instead of izuku himself so he took the responsibility to make me feel better...with out realizing it we got close😅really close.

I looked back at my feet with a frown.

"Oi keep frowning and you'll end up with that same face,anyway how about we watch a shitty movie,fucking deku doesn't know what he's missing.."he said while grabbing the controller and sitting next to me.

Seems like that cheered me up because the next thing you know I started smiling along with giggling.

"Why the fuck are you giggling?STOP GIGGLING BEFORE I FUCKING REGRET DOING THIS FOR YOU,YOU LITTL-"

"Oh OK OK OK IM SORRY GOMEN GOMEN..it's just that..I never thought that the almighty bakugou katsuki would do something that nice for a loser like me..."I looked down once again biting my bottom lip.

"O-oi don't talk about yourself like that..if we're gonna watch a movie then you gotta be happy..I wanna see your stupid smile..."he said with a hint of blush.

My eyes widened in shock, I looked up at him then soften my face

‘I'm so thankful for having him'

A few minutes later

You had your head on katsuki's  shoulder and slowly started drifting off to sleep..but wait...you had an idea..

You stand up and turned around to look at katsuki

"Oi what the hell! the movie was getting good sit your ass down!"

"Wait but katsuki I forgot to make popcorn!"you looked at him with your puppy face

"Grrragh fine go get them"he said while looking back at the movie.

You head to the kitchen trying to find the popcorn,once you find it you put it in the microwave and sit

'I wonder how izuku is doing..oh! I can check up on him and maybe bring some sandwiches!!! I'm such a good girlfriend☺️’

I got out everything that I needed for my piece of work and got to work!

Time skip brought to you byyyyyy

This adorable picture of shigaraki😭❤️

_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_

"Good Im finally done"

Grabbing a tray you put the sandwiches on the tray along with izuku's favorite juice.

You start to head to his dorm thinking about how he'll thank you.

'OH thank you so much (n/n), i love you so much babe❤️"

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

You sighed realizing that he will never say that,you zoned out when you started hearing...moaning.

"What the hell..?"

You looked at the room that was next to you and realized where it came from..izuku.

putting your ear on the door you started hearing the moan even louder...yep it's in this room

"Mmmnnn"

"hahhh just give it to me please.."

"Your such a naughty girl ochako "

'O-ochako..'

You took a big breath and decide to knock.

'THEY DIDNT EVEN HAVE THE BALLS TO FUCKING CLOSE THE DOOR'

You just wanted to get this over with so you just opened it and the next thing you saw horrored you.

You saw izuku-no, midoriya and uraraka on his bed...naked...making out and enjoying it

"I-izuku..."your voice cracked as the realization hit you.he’s been doing this...for 2 whole fucking years...

you were so shocked that you didn't even noticed that you let go of the tray.now on the floor was 2 messed up pieces of sandwiches and a spilled juice.

'How could he do this' he promised to always be with you,to always support you,to never betray you...

Midoriya turn his head fast realizing who's voice he just heard

"(Y/N)?!"he got off the bed and head to your direction.clumps of tears went down your eyes,you never cried this much before, it was shocking to you that it was possible to have this much tears in such a small period of time,you started sobbing realizing that he never cared about you,he never loved you.

He grabbed your arm with his filthy hands but you took your hand out of his embrace with a pity look on your face

"(N/N) ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE..IM SO SORRY,I CAN EXPLAIN"he looked at you with teary eyes and begged you to listen to him,you had enough,

"YOU RAT BASTERD"hearing you say that... it sounded like venom to midoriya,his eyes widen surprised at what you just said,tears started to fall down his horrified face,he never saw you this mad,he never heard you curse,for once he realized that he actually fucked up,you turned around and started running, not Even a minute later you hit something,you didn't care what it was or who it was but you just hugged it

"Wait what the fuck,WHY THE FUCKING FUCK ARE YOU CRYING (N/N)?!

WHO THE FUCK HURT YOU,ILL KILL THEM?!?!?!?!"

You looked up and noticed that you were hugging katsuki.

"K-katsuki.."you sobbed louder and louder.katsuki looked above you trying to find the purpose on why your adorable little face is crying.his eyes widened when he saw midoriya crying on the door frame, naked (well he was covering his ding dong with a pillow).

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT,IS THIS THE REASON WHY YOU HAVENT BEEN SPENDING TIME WITH HER,BECAUSE YOUR FUCKING CHEATING ON HER WITH THAT WHORE ?!"

You heard doors opening and people gasping at the thing they saw.

"Omg (n/n) are you alright?"momo went up to you and started hugging you.

"That's so messed..up"kirishima looked down and shakes his head in disappointment.

"What the hell?! (N/n) are you alright?! I can't believe uraraka is such a whore,she's so desperate! i mean we all knew she liked midoriya since the beginning but we never thought she would ever do this to be with him....to make him cheat..."Mina said with disgust.

You started hearing midoriya sobbing louder and louder while whispering sorry and beating him self up non stop.

You turned around head hung low,tears running down your cheeks,

going back to katsuki and hugging him tightly afraid that he might let go,

"ca-can we le-leave..."

" abso-fucking-lutely"

Katsuki picked you up and headed strait to your room.

💦first pov💦

I felt broken..I wasn't expecting that...I'm so fucking dumb,how could I not realize that he was cheating on me..after all those excuses I didn't even realize that he was doing that..it's stupid..

"love is stupid"while not realizing that I said that out loud katsuki still had me,he was still carrying me,he's still with me...

(Look ok so I couldn't find a picture where it shows how katsuki was carrying reader~San, so this one is the most closest on how they look,katsuki is walking while you have your legs around his waist,having your arms around his neck and your head buried in his neck)

Katsuki was outside of your room so he just opened the door with his leg and softly laid you down on the bed with him just laying down next to you after he shut the door.

He sighed and started talking,

"Look...love Isn't stupid..it isn't bad and it isn’t a fucking waste.stupid,bad and a waste depends on the person you love,for example..."katsuki slowly got near you and once he was next to you he hugged you

(You can choose which ever you want reader~san😭)

"Fucking loving deku was a huge motherfucking mistakenly could have ever done...and well loving me..would be a whole different thing"he said with a tint of worry.

My eyes widened,did I hear that right?

I looked at him with my eyes widened for the hundredth time,I never noticed.

"Yeah....I fucking love you....I love you (y/n)..damn I’ve been wanting to say those words to you from the very beginning but since you went and started dating that shithead I didn’t want to....uh....ruin our friendship.."katsuki tried to avoid eye contact seeming that he wasn't looking at my direction.

I then realized what a huge mistake Ive made for 2 years..how could I not realize that..the person I should have loved was right infront of me..I wasted time on a fucking jerk that..that didn't even try to love me.i still had my eyes widened at the new information I just received...having flash backs of every moment I had with katsuki made me realize that...I slowly had fallen for him with out realizing it...every second I spended with him made me fall for him but of course..I had to be blinded by mother fucking izuku midoriya.

I looked at him in the eye,placed both of my hands on his cheeks and slammed my lips on his.

He was totally shooked, his eyes were widened as hell, a few seconds later he went along with it and closed his eyes fallowing my lead.

A few minutes passed and he took the lead,he was on top of me about to take my shirt off when he pulled away and asked,

"Are you sure..? You don't have to do it if you don't want to,it's ight with me🤷🏻‍♀️"

(Look reader~San,I know it escalated quickly,you just got your heart broken and now your about to get fucked xD but plz understand that this is smut and anything is possible🥳🤯🤩)

I sighed and took a big breath,

"No,no it's ok.i wanna do it..I truly do wanna do it.so just hurry...I want it"

Katsuki smirked at my response and quickly took his and my clothes off except for the undergarment,

//////////////////////////////////

he started planting sweet gentle kisses on me while I try to not moan,placing my hand above my mouth,katsuki some how noticed my struggle and grunted,

"Let me hear you,I wanna hear-.....god damn it..I wanna hear your fucking moans" taking ahold of my warm sweaty hand he started attacking my neck,going left and right,trying to fined my sweet spot.

"A-aAhH"I opened my eyes in shock,not prepared for the sudden feeling of pleasure.out of no where I couldn't stop but moan.

I looked down and noticed that kacchan was enjoying it.

'Ggrrr I'm not gonna let him play me like that'

I took his hands and flipped him over.

"Like if I would let you be top,I'm gonna show you who's the boss.."

I studied his face,looking at his shocked scarlet eyes to his once chapped lips.

Satisfied with his reaction I whispered to his ear

"Now I'll show you my true side."

Licking his ear I started giving him hickeys,one over here,and Another over here,

(Something like that..but a bit more cuz if u haven't noticed..reader~Chan is a freaky freak😏😉lmao I’m high)

"GgggaAah aAah~"

Was..WAS THAT A MOAN?!FROM KATSUKI?!!!!!!!

I felt my face get hot,oh god,I have a feeling that I'm blushing hardcore oh nah,I kept going down and I kept leaving him hickeys non stop,near his nipples,near his abbs,

Reaching his v line I started tugging on his boxers trying to let him know....that I'm actually finally ready..

He stood up on the end of the bed and grinned,slowly taking his boxers off he didn't take his eyes off of me,

"Ughhhhh kacchan~ hurry up..."I looked to my side trying to avoid eye contact after that embarrassing statement.

"Why should I? I'm gonna take as long as I fucking want,besides your not using the magic word sweetie"

Pouting, I opened my mouth trying to get the courage to say what he wanted me to say,

I took a deep breath

"JUST HURRY UP AND FUCK ME DAMN IT, I NEED U IN ME GOD FUCKING DAMN,IS IT TO MUCH TO ASK FOR YOU TO SIMPLY FUCK ME?!"

(You areeeee 4 C and 4 D..lmfAo🤣)

Seems like what I said turned him on cuz when I looked down there,the only thing I could see was a huge and I mean a HUGE fucking tent.

He bit his lip and finally took his boxer and his underwear off.

My eyes almost popped off once I seen his...his masterpiece..I guess?

"I-it's freakin HUGE"

I felt a bit worried and sorda painful,just thinking about it not fitting inside of me,just the idea of it tearing my insides apart,I sorda was looking forward to it?

Instead of him placing himself on my entrance he bend over and faced me.

"If you actually thought I was about to fucking give it to you then your fucking dreaming,I haven't even pleasured you yet😏"

He shoved 2fingers in my mouth while the other hand tried to take off my panties,I helped him instead of just seeing him miserably fail because bitch let me tell you I don't have my usual patience with me right now.

I sucked on the fingers until he pulled them out and shoved it up my womanhood.

"AaAhHh"moaning at that sudden action he kept going. The room was filled with me moaning,wet fingers inside of me and kacchan silently snickering.

I soon felt even more pleasure when he placed in 3 fingers,it felt like nothing I have ever felt,I never imagined such feeling could exist,just the thought about the pleasure that bakugou would give me later turned me on Even more.

I can't believe that I would be doing this with my boy best friend,with the person that actually loves me,I always thought that I would share this special moment with midoriya ..not kacchan..it's weird thinking about it for some reason,the person that I would promise my whole body to was always by my side while the person that I THOGHT would have my body was actually never there._. Oh well,at least I'm with the right person now!

Feeling something wet and...fast made me realize that he was now basically eating me.

The fast feeling of his tongue inside of me was incredible! He once again smirked.He licked up your folds, his tongues dipping past your hole teasingly. He used his thumb to toy with your clit as he stimulated your folds. He poked his tongue past your walls, wiggling it around before shoving in another finger

(You look like the bottom katsuki face xD)

"K-katsuki I-i thi-think I-im about-t to-"with a shocked tone I looked at him,my mouth opened and my tong out on the side might of made it enough for him.

3

You moaned out loudly at the sudden feeling of him going even faster.your orgasm rushing over you. Your eyes squeezed shut as he continued to pump you through your release.

You bucked your hip as you feel your insides tighten.

2

"Katsuki!"

1

Not even one second later You felt this thick white substance come out squirting on kacchansface.he just smirked and cleaned the mess with his tongue."fuck, (n/n)You looked so Goddamn good like that

I take a deep breath in and let it out.

"No lie..that felt sooo good~uhhh but that kinda tired me😭uughhh"

Hehe I guess I turned him on even more

💦Second pov💦

You felt his cock lift,you looked at it and saw the huge boner he’s been having the whole time.

"Hehehe I guess your little friend already wants me~"

You stand up and let kacchan sit up at the corner of the bed,

"Too bad,I haven't even pleasured you yet,sounds familiar right?"

"Tsk"

You smiled at the fact that you used his own words against himself.

You then were on your knees,closing your eyes and imagining on how it would feel when his whole dick would be inside of your mouth.

You gently touched his cock and blowed hot air on it,you looked up at him and saw him trying not to moan,

"Aaah come on kacchan,let me hear your moans,it's gonna make this whole thing better~" he just grunted and looked at you,"hurry up,I don't have the fucking patients to just wait for you and let u chose when you want to do this or not"

"What's the magic word?"

"Oh my fucking god (y/n)....JUST SUCK MY DAMN DICK YOU BITCH"

You spit on his cock and soon started to jerk him off,not even one minute later you hear him moaning,you smirked and started to go even faster,

he cocked his head back and closed his eyes trying his best not to moan but he sadly failed.

Your hand got tired so the next thing to do,was to suck it,instead of being scared..you were excited.you placed your mouth on his tip and started to swirl your tongue around it,you went deeper and deeper until your mouth didn't have enough space,I guess you need kacchan's help now,you placed your mouth off of it and looked at kacchan embarrassed,he looked at you curious on why you stopped.

"U-umm kacchan......I want you to.......face fuck me...I-if tha-That's alright w-with you?!?!?..."you looked at the floor trying not to blush,

'I can't believe that I just said that,oh god!'

Katsuki's eyes lid up,he looked a bit happy that you asked for help,he gave you a smug smirk and answered your request,

"Well of course love,aw don't be embarrassed it's ok to ask for help~

I'm fucking glad to help you,I'll face fuck you so hard that your whole fucking face would be red~

It's actually a fucking turn on when you ask for help~"

At first you pouted seeing that kacchan was mocking you but then you got embarrassed and looked away,you really were something else considering that sometime you felt the need to be bold but when someone gets you embarrassed you seem shy and tense.its like if you got 2 side of yourself,the innocent side and the bold devilish side,both making you who you truly are and at the same time both making you 2 different people.

"I'll make sure to ask for help more then~"as you responded with that, kacchan stood up and got his cock right in front of your face and waited for you to open your mouth.you know that it would feel a bit uncomfortable at first but you'll soon adjust to his size, so you take a deep breath and open your mouth and waited for him to shove his cock in your mouth.

"Ah-ah-ah did you fucking forget to say something? Fucking Rude.."

'Hmm?...oh...damn it!'

"*sigh* Itadakimasu.."

/////////////////////////////

To be continue......

Haha ok so this is my smut and I feel like it came out sorda good.i bet it was horrible in your experience but oh well😭Please let me know of any mistakes I didn't cover,and please send in tips on how I can do better in these things😂

I hope you like it soo toodles✌🏼

Should I do part 2?

Should I continue??

M💗

#bnha x reader #bnha #katsuki bakugou #katsuki bakugo x reader #midoriya izuku #x reader #reader #lemon #continue #please request #requests are open #request #mha #mha x reader #uraraka ochako #betrayal #cheated

[scribble-skull-rat]

literally all of the make the admit questions you are comfortable answering

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

Yeah

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

I talk to them on a daily basis

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

Sort of

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

Yeah

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

I haven't hung out with anyone, social distancing my duce

6. What are you excited for?

Seeing my boyfriend

7. What happened tonight?

I watched revolting rhymes with my mom

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

Eh idc

9. Is confidence cute?

Yes

10. What is the last beverage you had?

Water

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

2, 3 if you count you

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

I did

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

Stay in and cry because i havent gotten over losing my cats and grandpa

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

Nothing, im broke

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

Not anymore

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

Probably not but ill try

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

Ehh no one

18. The last time you felt broken?

Litteraly 10 minutes ago

19. Have you had sex today?

I wish

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

Yeah, im a piece of shit

21. Are you in a good mood?

Im never in a good mood to be fair

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

Yeah

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

His are black and mine are blue so, no

24. What do you want right this second?

Idk

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

Platonicly? Nothing idgaf. Romantically? Id cry

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

Yeah

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Yeah

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

A stupid thing in a discord chat

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

.....yeah..

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

Depends

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

Nah, hes really nice. I think I've told you about him, his names noah

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

Yeah it'd be a bit hard for us to be dating if he didn't

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

I rarely do

34. Listening to?

A mix of lofi and depressed music along with the song my boyfriend sent me

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

Usually i do

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

Yeah, Oregon

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Sort of?

38. Who did you last call?

Noah

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

I dont dance unless you count tiktok dances

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

Peer pressure

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

Idk

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

I hugged my mom so yeah

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

Yeah

44. Do you tan in the nude?

I dont tan

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

Yeah, it was awkward and we both hated it

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

Nah

47. Who was the last person to call you?

Noah

48. Do you sing in the shower?

Sometimes

49. Do you dance in the car?

Not really since we dont have a car

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

Yeah, my sister used to teach me

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

Ive never had my portrait taken

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

Eh idc

53. Is Christmas stressful?

Sometimes

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

A w h a t

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

Apple

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

Marine biologist, still do

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yeah

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

Sometimes

59. Take a vitamin daily?

Nah

60. Wear slippers?

Nope

61. Wear a bath robe?

Dont have one

62. What do you wear to bed?

A t-shirt and pj pants, or shorts

63. First concert?

Never been to one

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

Wal-mart

65. Nike or Adidas?

Im poor so neither

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

Both

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

None

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

Uhh calm down i guess

69. Ever take dance lessons?

Nah

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

I dont really care what job my spouse has

71. Can you curl your tongue?

Yeah

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

Ive never done a spelling bee

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

I dont think so

74. What is your favorite book?

Reckless

75. Do you study better with or without music?

Idk

76. Regularly burn incense?

Nope

77. Ever been in love?

Yeah

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

Cavetown

79. What was the last concert you saw?

I've never been to a concert

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

Warm tea

81. Tea or coffee?

Red tea

82. Favorite type of cookie?

Oreo

83. Can you swim well?

Eh yeah

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

Yeah? Do people do that?

85. Are you patient?

Sometimes

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

DJ

87. Ever won a contest?

Once and i fucked up by not responding in time

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

No

89. Which are better black or green olives?

Idc

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

Have fun and use protection

91. Best room for a fireplace?

Living room

92. Do you want to get married

Ehh sort of

#answering the asks

[bakugous-abs]

Scenario where Izuku and fem!reader started to date in middle school, but once they got into U.A. together they grew apart, and she forms the theory that he's going to break up with her (when he's really not), and one day he goes to visit her unexpectedly and finds her crying while wearing his All Might hoodie, and he just feels a bunch of guilt, and he promises to do better, and they just have a really fluffy moment? Thank you to whoever writes this, you're all awesome! 💕

~Admin Eun

Izuku was a gentle andkind boy, a wee bit anxious, but perhaps that was what made him so appealing tothe eyes of (Name). Nose always in a journal that he seemed to entranced with,(Name) would watch him afar and then blush quickly after. Although her peersseemed to find joy at his degrading expense, (Name) always felt that if anyone,Izuku was a person who needed to be treated with warmth. So, understandingthat, she would have to be the one to treat him with such manner as it appearedthat no one else wanted to (which the entirety of that made her shocked beyondbelief as the boy was a bundle of nerves and timid smiles). Truthfully (Name)had been enchanted with Izuku ever since he flashed her a shaky smile andscurried away with a red face, but every time she tried to talk to him he wouldseem to get too nervous and shy away from her. But (Name) was determined tobecome acquainted with him—he could use a friend, anyways.

Before she even knewit, (Name) had not only succeeded in befriending him, but had also managed toworm her way into his heart and become his girlfriend. Yes, on occasion (Name)would get a few sideways glances full of mockery or scoffed at, but she didn’tcare. She had her loving, sweet, and tender Izuku, and for the time being thatwas all she needed.

Not only was he theperfect partner, Izuku was also the perfect student. He was naturallyintelligent, but what made him so perfect was his sheer determination. Bornquirkless, but still driven to get into the prestigious school of U.A. whichcoincidentally was the high school (Name) wished to attend as well. Izukupassed the exam with flying colors, and (Name) was too happy for him to evenbother asking how he passed in the first place. She had congratulated him witha hug as he cried into her shoulder.

After that, it seemedlike it was going to be smooth sailing for both Izuku and (Name). They wereboth placed in the same hero course, and although they had both gone through afew dangerous situations, in the end they both always turned out safe.Naturally, though, high school in itself was stressful. Because of such, Izukufound himself taking rainchecks on (Name’s) date propositions, or respondingwith her actions of affections half-heartedly or with a small smile and thenreturning to doing whatever he was preoccupied with. It hurt her, of course,but she understood that he was busy as a hero on the rise, and all. Still,regardless of how understanding she was, it made her disheartened every time hebrushed off her small kisses or her compliments that used to make him smile sobrightly.

(Name) began stressing.Her and Izuku had been together for a little over a year now—was he gettingsick of her? Was he getting bored of being with her for so long? Or perhaps hewas getting annoyed with her constant company? Doubts and insecurities swarmedher mind as she paced around her dorm. For example, just the other week she hadapproached Izuku with a bright smile. The two hadn’t gone on a date in a while,so it couldn’t hurt to ask, right?

“Ah, Izuku, I wasthinking that maybe we could grab a bite to eat after school? And then maybe wecould go see the gardens! I hear that they’re blooming quite nicely thisseason,” she chirped, excitement evident on her face. She presented this ideacasually, but truthfully she had spent a lot of time and research to plan theperfect date with him.

“Oh…Sorry, (Name),not this week. I’m really busy,” he said, smiling sympathetically at her. (Name’s)face fell, her shoulders slumping as her excitement dissolved intodisappointment. As of lately, it seemed like ‘not this week’ was Izuku’smost favorite phrase.

“It’s…It’s okay, Izu,” shereplied. That was a big fat lie, and they could both tell that it was so.Still, Izuku watched as (Name) trudged back to her room without looking back athim.

(Name) sighed, buryingher head into her hands as she sat on her bed. Izuku wasn’t intentionallyhurting her…Right? Never before had she considered this, but the more thethought presented itself the more she started panicking. Perhaps it waschildish of her, but in a burst of emotion she glanced at her closet beforesnagging Izuku’s ‘All Might’ hoodie from one of the hangers and pressing itclosely to her chest. It smelled like sweet laundry soap and his shampoo, andthis in itself made tears gather at the corners of her eyes. Slipping it overher head, she laughed blandly and laid on her bed.

(Name) felt silly and abit immature, but at the same time she felt that it was justified. Her kneeswere up to her chest as she laid in a fetus position, hands covering herblotchy face as she sobbed into them. She didn’t hear the door creak open.

When Izuku walked inthe room, he expected to see (Name)—his happy and cheerful (Name)—sitting ather desk or maybe just relaxing on her phone. What he did not expect wasto walk in and be dreadfully greeted with the sight of his girlfriend curledinto a small ball, body shaking ever so slightly with the dreary rhythm of hersobs.

“(N-Name)!” heexclaimed, shutting the door behind him and walking cautiously to her side. Shelooked up, sitting up quickly and attempting to dry her eyes. Despite the uttermortification she felt from being caught, she gave Izuku a smile.

“Did you needsomething?” she croaked. If she was trying to sound like nothing was wrong, itdidn’t work. The fact that she was still trying to smile for him made Izukufrown.

“What’s going on?”

“Huh? Nothing’s wrong,Izu. I’m just relaxing.”

Izuku took a seatbeside her, hand resting on her thigh lightly. The small bit of contact made(Name) jump ever so slightly, and it was only then that he realized how long ithad been since they had been affectionate with one another…And he also realizedthat it was his fault.

“(Name), please…” Hewatched as she avoided his gaze in shame. No matter how much she tried to denyit, she knew that Izuku knew her too well to let it up. So, embarrassed andfrankly a complete mess, she bit her lip before opening her mouth to speak. “I…Gosh,I don’t know, Izuku…Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed it? We just…This is soselfish of me to say because like I know how busy you are, but…” Her voicecracked, (Name) instinctively bringing a hand up to cover her mouth as sheattempted to choke out the rest of her explanation. “I just feel like…You don’twant to be around me anymore…Do you want to…Fuck, I don’t know, are you goingto break up with me, Izuku?” The way she looked at him with glossy and red eyesmade his heart crack from the top to the bottom before it split in two.

“What? No! No—(Name), Iwouldn’t even think of that…!”

“Then why…Why haven’tyou been…” She trailed off, as if she felt guilty that she felt the way shedid. At this point, Izuku began crying as well as he held (Name) by theshoulders. “I’m so sorry, (Name). I didn’t even realize—I-I’ve been soinconsiderate…”

“Please don’t say that,Izuku!” (Name) wailed, face contorting as more sobs shook her body. “You’rebusy, and I have to understand that!”

“No, (Name), I’m yourboyfriend and I’m supposed to be drying your tears, not causing them!” Theywere both sobbing, (Name) leaning her head into Izuku’s shoulders as shewrapped her arms tightly around his form. He did the same, pulling her bodyclose to his own.

“I’m so sorry, (Name).I promise to…to be a better boyfriend. Because you deserve the best.”

(Name) laughed softly. “Ilove you, Izu.”

Izuku smiled, pullingaway before placing a gentle kiss on (Name’s) lips that she had so longed for. “Ilove you too, (Name).” 

#izuku #midoriya x reader #izuku x reader #midoriya #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku x reader #deku #deku x reader #x reader #x reader insert #request #mha x reader #bnha x reader #boku no hero x reader #my hero academia x reader #admin eun

[fairyscribbles]

No More Running. (D.O, Romantic Confession)

By the way my loves, no need to worry about me! I decided to clean my folder and I found a lot of stories that I haven’t posted on tumblr yet, and I am pretty proud of them! So these are things that were written a while ago, but you get to see now! <3

-

You pushed your feet to go faster, feeling the strain in your muscles as you sped down the dark alleyway. You muted out the gruff yells that were behind you and your mind was only set on one thing- escaping the situation you’ve gotten yourself into.

You haven’t done anything wrong. You were innocent, and yet it was you who ended up being chased again.

You knew very well who was following you. And you knew they were toying with you. If they would’ve wanted, the vampires would have already ripped your jugular out.

They weren’t doing this for hunger. Oh no, the reason was far more personal than an innocent feeding.

This was an act of revenge, an eye for an eye. But they had the wrong person. You weren’t supposed to be executed for this reason.

You sharply turned left, almost losing your footing as you slammed into the side of the building. You could faintly register the burning on your arm as it scratched against the building, willing yourself to go faster.

This was all just a big mistake. They weren’t supposed to go after you. You weren’t the one closest to Do Kyungsoo, the werewolf they wanted to hurt the most.

Kyungsoo made sure you knew that well.

-

“Look…” he started, pausing after muttering your name. His eyes were set on the ground.

“This isn’t because of you…”

“Oh, of course not. It’s never me, it’s always you.” You cut him off, your hands balled into fists at your sides. He tried to open his mouth to protest, but you didn’t let him.

“At first, it was about you being different. When I showed you I had absolutely no problem with you being a werewolf, you changed the story to the “enormous” age gap problem.” You stated, crooking your fingers in the air in imaginative quote marks. Kyungsoo’s full lips pursed in a thin line, his brows furrowed.

“Even when I said that three years aren’t that bad, you’ve apparently come up with another one.” Crossing your arms on your chest, you glared at him.

“Let’s hear it, then.” He started out with your name again, and no matter how much you loved hearing it rolling off his lips, you willed yourself not to be affected by it.

“I cannot…I’m too dangerous for you.”

“Oh, that is rich.” You scoffed and Kyungsoo showed his distaste of interrupting him by growling deep in his chest. Sometimes, you forget that Kyungsoo is really a dangerous being, but no one could blame you- he is always so gentle and nice, it isn’t hard to let your mind slip with that little fact that he is able to transform into a great beast.

You pursed your lips, holding in all the other snarky comments until he is finished.

“I’m too dangerous. After all these years, I’ve made too many enemies. They could hurt you to get to me. And the biggest enemy is right in this room.” You lifted your eyebrow in question and Kyungsoo pointed at his chest.

“It’s me. I could hurt you so easily…” he muttered almost to himself, as he lifted his hand and his thumb brushed gently over your cheek. It took all you had not to lean into his touch, as you stared into his eyes, which seemed to be torn by uncertainty.

“Just with a flick of my wrist, I could break you bones…”

“You don’t have to flick anything but your tongue, to let those words out and break my heart.” You added, your voice lowering to his whisper. Pain flashed through his eyes and to your dismay, his hand retreated from your skin. He was already taking steps back, away from you.

“I’m sorry, I can’t…I can’t risk it. I’m so sorry.”

You would’ve cried, but you didn’t have the energy anymore. Sadly, you were so used to Kyungsoo walking out on you; it didn’t hurt as much as the last time.

You loved him, and you were sure he loved you back. The fact that after every single time he left, he returned to you made you realize that he was unable to be without you.

Do Kyungsoo’s machinations of his mind were an enigma, you decided, as you stared at the closed door, a thought crept in your head that it might’ve been a metaphor about Kyungsoo.

The closed door might be a metaphor on your relationship with Kyungsoo.

You were left all alone.

-

And alone, you had to face the two bloodthirsty vampires at your heels. You felt that your muscles started to scream in pain, but you couldn’t allow yourself to slow down. Slowing down mean certain death.

“Think fast, wolf bait!” a crystal clear voice called out behind you and not a second later, a sharp rock came in contact with your scalp. With a yelp, you stumbled but kept your balance. Your head throbbed, and that pain seemed to break down the numbness your brain created when they started chasing you.

You were being chased by vampires. And your only hope, the only one that could save you, turned his back on you.

That didn’t stop you from calling for help.

“Help…” the only word whimpered through your lips and the vile creatures behind you cackled.

“No one will come, sweetie. Stop running and we’ll make it quick.”

I don’t want to make it quick. I want to live, you wanted to tell the vampires, but you knew it would be useless.

“Please, help!” your voice grew louder as you took another turn. You noticed your grave mistake too late, that you ran into a dark alley, that was most probably cut off by some obstacle. Your fears came true, as a metal fence started rising above you and soon enough, you collided into it, hoping it would topple over.

Not happening. The fence stood there long before you and it probably will continue standing proud long after you’re gone.

You searched for a weapon of any kind- you were positive that you wouldn’t find any silver in the abandoned alleyway, so you settled for a broken vodka bottle. You clenched it by the throat, facing the predators with shaky legs.

“Leave me alone.” You tried to make your voice firm, but it cracked to a plea in the middle of the sentence, making the vampires laugh.

“We can’t do that, honey. There’s no escape. I’m sorry.” The monster replied and as if his speech triggered your reflex, your legs set off running again.

You didn’t get far though, as an arm shot up to meet you, sending you flying back to the fence. With a cry, you tried to catch your breath, your eyes glazing over with tears.

“Kyungsoo…” his name escaped your lips and your attacker grinned.

“Yes, thank him for killing you.”

“Kyungsoo, help me…” you were far too gone with fear, trying to back up even further into the fence when the vampire started approaching you.

“No! Stay back! Please!”

“So loud…” the other one growled, slapping you across the cheek. The sole impact had you losing your balance as you fell on the ground, knocking your head on some rubbish. Sobbing, you tried to crawl away from your death, into the corner of the building and the fence.

“Please, no!” you cried again, when you felt an iron grip on your ankle yank you away from your haven.

“Shut up already!”

“Say your prayers, flower.”  The first one finally said, lifting his arm to strike you again, but this time, you were sure it would be the last.

“Kyungsoo!” you shrieked, your eyes closing and awaiting the impact.

A growl cut through the air and soon enough, ripping and yells reached your ears, before you covered them, cutting them off.

You wanted out. This was just  a horrible nightmare, you wanted out, to wake up. Or if it had to be real life, you just wanted to die, to finally have it over with and to die in peace. Oh god, that was the only thing you wanted, just to get out…

Your ranting was interrupted by a familiar voice calling your name. At first, you thought it was just your mind playing tricks, but when big hands covered yours, gently prying them off your ears, you heard that concerned voice again.

You opened your eyes and as you stared into Kyungsoo’s worried ones, you couldn’t fight the tears anymore and you broke down, crying.

“Did they hurt you? Hey, ___, talk to me, please.” His hand cupped your chin, tilting you up to meet his gaze again, while his other one gently swiped at the swollen cheek and busted lip that the vampires rewarded you with. His eyes laced with fury, and a growl rumbled off his chest.

“They didn’t bite you, right?” he asked carefully and relief washed over him when you shook your head.

“Did they hurt you anywhere else?”

“You came.” You interrupted his interrogation by throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him tight. You refused to let go of him, your grip around his neck was almost bordering with pain, but either way, one of arms wrapped around your back, bringing you impossibly close, while the other one cradled your head.

“I’m so sorry I came so late. I’m so sorry.” He whispered into your ear, while you proceeded to cry into his neck.

“I was so scared…” you were only able to hiccup through your sobs.

“I know, and I’m so sorry, but it’s all okay now, I’m here…” Kyungsoo started rocking you gently, trying to calm you down.

“But for how long? How long until you’ll leave again?” you’ve managed to form a longer sentence now, your grip automatically tightening when you spoke of him leaving.

“Forever. I’ll never leave you again.” His hand ran through your hair, and when he brought out bloody fingers because of your injury, he gently pushed you away so he could look into your eyes.

“I never wanted you to experience something like this. I thought that if I left you, they would lose interest in you, and yet the only thing I did was make you completely vulnerable.” As he spoke, your eyes cast downwards to look at his shirt. He brought your attention back to his face when he kissed your brow gently and you looked up in surprise.

“I promise to take care of you from now until you’ll want me. I’ll never let anything happen to you again. If someone as much as touches you, I’ll make sure they’ll regret it.” The determination in his eyes told you he was speaking the truth. A moment later, uncertainty crept through the irises.

“That is, if you still want me.” Normally, you would’ve scoffed, but now, you wound your arms around his neck again and nodded into his shoulder.

You could feel as Kyungsoo wrapped one arm under your knees and lifted you into his embrace, as if you weighed nothing.

“Never leave me again, please.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

#kyungsoo #d.o #exo #kyungsoo story #kyungsoo scenario #d.o story #d.o scenario #exo story #exo scenario #werewolf #werewolf story #werewolf au #werewolf scenario