#and it also got a little evermore!the song touch | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

joannaliceevans-fanficblog · 29 days

Text

Evermore: Part. 2: Chapter. One

A/N: And here we are! The second half of this series! I just wanted to give a quick shout-out to everyone who has loved and reblogged this story! I truly love it! SO thank you so much!

I also wanted to thank @hollybee8917 for this beautiful mood board and for editing this chapter! Thank you babe!

A cold winter morning as you drove down this familiar route. Looking outside always reminds you of a snow globe. You peeked behind you to see your baby girl in her car seat, humming to the song in the car.

“Chloe bug, do you know where we are going?” You asked. You saw as she placed her little index finger on her chin and giggled.

“Papa?” Chloe askedwith excitement. You smiled as you turned into the Massachusetts National Cemetery. You found the section and parked on the side. You then got out of the car and went back, to get Chloe out of her seat. You told her to stay by your side as you grabbed the flowers from the passenger seat.

“Come on, hold onto mommy’s hand.” You say and Chloe reaches for your hand.

You then proceeded to walk toward the middle of the cemetery. It took a few minutes and you pause in the middle of the large headstone.

Ari David Levinson

June 14, 1981- April 16th, 2023

Captain US Army, West Point

Beloved Son, Husband, and Father

You then bent down to your daughter and handed her the bouquet. Her little hands held on to them and she looked toward you.

“Momma is for Papa?” She asked.

You smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ears. “Yes, baby. Papa always gave me flowers too. He would love it; would you like to give it to him?”

Chloe smiled. With her tiny hands, she held onto him and placed them down next to him.

“Hi Papa, Mommy says you like flowers. I went to the zoo yesterday! I see lots of animals! Ands Uncles DeeDee calls! He says I get smart!” Chloe said as she placed the flowers down.

It's been 5 years since Ari left you and this world. Those 5 years were the hardest that you went through. Even if you had your friends, coworkers, and families. It just wasn’t the same. You did your best, going on with your life. Andy hasn’t returned, but he kept in touch with you every day or when he got the chance.

You even went on dates, nothing special. You didn’t want to move on, but you knew that Ari wanted to live your life. Explore, see places, and just be happy. That’s all that he wanted from you.

Chloe learned how to walk when she was a year and a half. It was caught on camera while face timing Andy and even learning mama and Papa, Grammy, and Pawpaw.

You bent down and placed your hand on his gravestone and placed your head down. Even though it’s been long, you still feel his presence.

“Oh, Ari Bear.” You said and kissed the top.

You felt your tears fall, and you felt Chloe wipe them away with her tiny hands. You smiled and turned towards her.

“Mommy don’t cry. Papa no want you sad. Papa makes you happy right?”

Chloe said and turned towards her. You smiled and placed a hand on her cheek.

“Yes, Papa made me very happy. Did Grammy or Pawpaw tell you that?” You asked.

With pride, Chloe nodded, “Yup! And Pawpaw saids that he’s a big hero!”

More tears slipped down your cheeks and you hugged your daughter.

“Yes, baby bug. Your Papa was a hero. Now come on, Grammy and Pawpaw are waiting for us!” You said, getting up.

“Bye Papa! I wue you!” You heard Chloe say.

You laughed and let out a sigh, “Love you Mr. Levinson. I’ll see you next week.”

You said, kissing his headstone one last time, taking your daughter's hand, and headed back down to your car.

Boston Logan International Airport

After a long 8-hour flight from Germany newly promoted General Andy Barber entered US soil, after living in Frankfurt for 5 years. He meant to come home, but from the cases he took, it took longer than he expected. But now that it is all over, he is happy to be home. But what drove him to come back was a letter that he received over 5 years ago, but only really had the heart to open it 4 months ago.

4 months ago…

Andy was in the process of closing a case with his team when a box he was looking through fell on the ground, and its contents spilled. Cursing, he bent down and began to pick them up. But as he did, he saw the familiar handwriting and he knew who it was from. He tried to put it to the side, but something in him had told him to now open it.

He excused himself from his team and headed outside to his balcony. He closed the door behind him and stared at the envelope. He studied the familiar writing and how he writes in all caps. He took a seat for a moment, to collect his thoughts.

Andy didn’t know why; he was afraid or feeling sad. Taking one last sigh, Andy began to slowly open the flaps.

There were bits of sand inside meaning that he was in the desert as he wrote this. Andy placed the envelope down. And he opened the letter.

Dear Lieutenant General Andrew Steven Barber,

Wow, that sounds very professional. Anyways, I feel like I’m doing this the old-fashioned way, but this would be the best way. Before I end this letter Andy, I’m writing this before I call Y/N and I’m about to leave on a high-stakes mission.

This mission is extremely dangerous, and there is a VERY slim chance that I would survive. It hurts to think about it, but this is what I signed up to do. I can’t give you All the information, because you know the rules. The reason I’m writing this to you is that I have something to ask of you.

What I’m asking is to take care of my angel and my little munchkin. They mean the world to me, and you know that. I know that Y/N would be sad if I didn’t make home to her and Chloe. We took care of each other, but I have a feeling that I won’t make it. I know I’m hurting you and my family. But I know that it will be okay.

All I ask, once again, is to take care of her. Be there for her, and just be the friend that you have always been. If you fall for her? Then I’m not stopping you, dude. But if you break her heart, then I’ll seriously punch you in your sleep.

I’m sorry that it’s going to be this way, I’m sad that I won’t be able to see my baby girl grow up to be a wonderful sassy girl, and I’m heartbroken that I won’t be able to live for the rest of my life with my beautiful Y/N.

Oh, and to see you grow old, Lieutenant General Andy Barber. Don’t fuck anything up sir. OKAY!

I got to go. I need to make that phone call to my wife.

Your best friend since 1st grade,

Captain Ari David Levinson.

Andy placed the letter back into its envelope and kept it close to him. He just wanted to pack up and go back home. But he can’t, not right at this moment. As he went back in, his friend Joanne looked up towards him and gave him a concerned look. He tried to brush it off, as he sat back down. But of course, she wouldn’t let it pass by.

“Andy, what’s wrong?” Joanne asked him. Again, Andy brushed it off, and proceeded to go on. Joanne looked at Andy and sighed.

“Andy Barber, I know you. What’s wrong?” Joanne asked once more. Andy sighed and placed the envelope down.

“I finally opened it.” Andy said, rubbing his eyes.

“Oh, that one. How are you feeling?” Joanne asked. Andy laid his head into his hands.

“Home, I need to get back home,” Andy said.

Andy was asked to take over the Washington DC office, but he politely declined and asked to take over the office in Boston and it’s close to home for him. As he walked out of the terminal, Y/N’s cousin pulled up and parked to the side. Andy smiled and hugged him.

“Welcome home bro!” Mark said. Andy let go and patted him on his back and then placed his luggage into the back seat. He got in and Mark drove off.

“My mom called and Y/N just pulled up.” Andy smiled and let out a giggle.

“She has no clue does she?” Andy asked and Mark chuckled as he drove onto the highway.

“No clue at all. It’s why Ari was good at hiding surprises from her.” Mark said, smiling, making Andy laugh even more.

It wasn’t long before Mark pulled up into Y/N's family home. He told Andy to stay outside the door so he could make sure that you were busy. Andy leaned back against the wall and Mark went inside the house. A few minutes later, the door opened, and Mark gave him the clear.

Once he walked in, Andy could hear her laughter from the kitchen. That familiar laugh that always brought Ari and him such joy. Especially Ari. It was too long, and the nerves were getting to him, but he quickly brushed them away, letting out a breath, and made his way in. As he made his way in, your mom looked up and he quickly hushed her. Your mom just winked and continued the conversation with the others around her. It was then Andy who gave Mark a signal and he nodded.

“You know Y/N I got a surprise for you,” Mark said.

You tilted your head and asked, “What?”

Your cousin smirked, “Close your eyes and turn around three times.”

“I’m not doing that, the last time you did that…a fucking spider was involved! Just tell me.”

Mark laughed, “Just close your eyes.”

“Fine,” you huffed, “but it better not be anything disgusting.”

Mark grew quiet and Andy stepped into the spot he previously occupied and spoke, “It’s not.”

You were confused, “Mark, what happened to your voice? That sounded like-”

Y/N opened her eyes and they widened, “ANDY!”

You yelled as you turned around to face your best friend. You stared at Andy for a moment, thinking that it was a dream. The last time you saw him was 5 years ago. FaceTime doesn’t count. You kept thinking to yourself that it was all a dream and that you would wake up, and he was not there in front of you.

“Y/N?” Andy asked, laughing.

“NO, this isn’t. No, I can't-” you stuttered, trying to comprehend what is going on.

“Y/N, it’s true,” Andy said, smiling at you.

And that’s what gave it away. That genuine smile that he’s known for. The smile that brings joy to you.

“Oh my god- “You yelled and jumped onto him. Andy caught you and you held onto him tight. You felt your tears, as Andy held onto you.

“I can’t believe you are here.” You said, jumping off him and giving him a look over. He still looks the same, apart from having a thick beard.

“Christ, Andy!” You said, giving him a friendly shove.

Andy laughed and you hugged him once more.

“Are you here for good? No leaving for long periods?” You asked with hope.

“No, I’m here for good this time,” Andy told you.

“You know who else would be happy to see you?” You asked.

Andy knew and smiled. You then took his hand and dragged him outside, where Chloe was with her cousins playing. You then spotted her at the mini playground playing in the sand. You then turned to Andy and smiled.

“Stay here and I’ll bring her to you.” You said and walked over to the playground.

“Chloe!” You yelled for her, as you got there. Chloe then sat up from the sand, and who was covered in moist dusty dirt. You laughed and bent down to her as she ran to you.

“Mommy! I made a pretty castle!” Chloe proclaimed with excitement. You smiled and cleaned off the sand off her hair, hands, and her dress.

“That’s an amazing baby! But there’s something that I need to tell you.” You said tucking strands of her hair behind her ear.

“Okay. Are you okay mommy?” Chloe asked, with concern.

You smiled again and marveled at how much your daughter takes after Ari. Always concerned, always knows if something is wrong. But this time, there wasn’t anything wrong.

“Mommy is okay, baby. But there is something that I need to tell you. You remember Uncle Andy, right? Papa’s best friend?” You asked.

Her little green eyes lit up and she smiled.

“Umcle DeeDee?” Chloe asked and you laughed.

“Yes, baby.” You replied.

You placed her in front of you and pointed straight ahead. Chloe's eyes widened and ran towards Andy.

“Umcle DeeDee!” Chloe shouted running towards Andy.

Andy smiled and scooped her into his arms.

“Oh, my Chloe!” Andy said as he held on to her.

Chloe wrapped her tiny arms around his neck, and she burst into tears. Andy hugged her softly and rubbed her back, “Chloe, what’s wrong?”

She lifted her head and wiped her tears, and started to hiccup from crying, “Umcle you went away. Please don’t go away?”

Andy wiped away her tears and kissed her cheek. You then stood by his side as your daughter cried.

“Don’t worry, Chloe bug. Uncle Andy isn’t leaving. I’ll be here forever,” Andy whispered and Chloe looked at him again.

You wiped away her tears and tucked some of her hair behind her ears.

“You prowmis?” Chloe asked, still hiccupping.

Andy smiled and kissed her cheek again, “I promise Chloe Bug. Uncle Andy isn’t leaving anymore.”

Andy put her down. You and Andy watched as she ran back to the playground and continued with her sandcastle.

It was late in the night when you arrived home. Andy went home with you so that you wouldn’t have to drive home by yourself. Even if you have done so before. Chloe fell asleep in the back the moment you buckled her in her car seat. The drive home was spent in a comfortable silence. Except for the music playing in the background. As Andy pulled up, you got out and took your sleeping daughter into your arms.

“Andy, I’m going to put her to bed, and I’ll show you your bedroom.” You said, heading towards the front doorway. As you opened the door, you headed upstairs and went to Chloe's bedroom. With her moaning in protest, you laughed as you placed her in her Hello Kitty tee-shirt and her pink Pj pants.

Normally, you would read her a story before bed, but it was late, and your daughter was tired. So you tucked her in and kissed her forehead.

“Good night baby. Sleep tight, Mommy loves you and Papa too.” You said and sat up.

As you did, you looked at her nightstand to see a picture of Ari in his combat uniform and with his dog tags hanging on the edge of the frame. You smiled and headed out of her bedroom. Once you closed the door, you headed back downstairs and saw the kitchen lights on. You headed towards there, to see that he had a glass of water in his hands.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Andy said, feeling rather embarrassed.

You giggled and leaned against the island table.

“Oh Andy, you should know you can take anything. Your family.”

Andy laughed, “I know, but you know I just had to ask anyway.”

He chugged down the rest of the water. He placed the glass into the sink, and you went to show him his room. With his luggage in his hands, Andy followed you and led him down the hallway.

“Looks like nothing has changed,” Andy said.

You sighed and opened the door at the end of the hallway. You turned on the lights and Andy walked in. You were about to show him where the towels and other things were, but Andy had beaten you to it.

“Y/N, I know where the towels are. Unless you put them in another place.” Andy said.

Again, you laughed. “Sorry Andy, it's just been a long time since I had company here.”

Silence filled in and you cleared your throat. It was then you suddenly remembered something, and you knew that your neighbor and your parents were going to be busy.

“Andy, I know that you just got here. But I was just wondering if you could watch Chloe tomorrow night?” You asked. Andy looked up from where he was sitting on the bed.

“Uh, sure. Was there a reason?” Andy asked.

You felt your cheeks blush and you sighed, “Yea, I um-I have a date with someone.”

Andy looked at you for a moment and raised an eyebrow.

“A date? Do I know this person?” Andy asked and you sighed.

“No, but he is from the Army. He’s a sergeant general.” You spoke and Andy continued to look at you.

“His name is Jake Jensen.” You spoke. Andy sat up and placed his hands on his hips.

“What is it with you and the army men?” Andy asked and you laughed.

“Hey, shut up, okay? I met him at a party that one of my coworkers held, okay? It’s just a date Andy, nothing too serious. I’m not ready for that commitment,” you said. Andy sighed and pulled you into a hug.

“I know, idiot, and I want you to be happy and I can see that.”

You smiled and held Andy tight, “I know and I thank you for that. So can you watch Chloe?” You asked. Andy laughed, pulled away from you and looked down at you.

“Yes, I can. It gives me the chance to catch up with her and to spoil her too!” Andy said.

You laughed and playfully pushed him, “God, you are the worst.”

You walked out of the bedroom.

#andy barber #andy barber fanfiction #andy barber x female reader #andy barber x reader #ari levinson x reader #ari levinson x female reader #ari levinson angst

43 notes · View notes

atticsandwich · 9 months

Text

OBEY ME! CHARACTERS AND TAYLOR SWIFT SONGS I ASSOCIATE THEM WITH

listen i need this as self assurance and indulgence. will include all dateables, mephisto, thirteen, and raphael. will also include any honorable mentions!

I'll link a playslist with all the songs at the end for funsies hehe

LUCIFER

False God (Lover)

I know heaven's a thing; I go there when you touch me, honey, hell is when I fight with you.

I was debating between this one or I Can See You from Speak Now TV, but I feel like the religious imagery in this one really sold me

hon. mention: Invisible String, Don't Blame Me

MAMMON

Paper Rings (Lover)

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings

I want to drive away with you, I want your complications too, I want your dreary Mondays

I think Mammon's definitely the type to propose with a paper ring either while he's drunk or as an impromptu proposal (of course, he'll still buy you an actual ring) but it's kind of a cute contrast from his greed image

hon. mention: New Year's Day

LEVIATHAN

Glitch (Midnights)

I thought we had no chance, and that's romance, let's dance

This one is definitely not just because of the song's theming 🤞 Even the first line (we were supposed to be just friends) is a direct parallel to his character song 😭 (which, fun fact, is my favorite out of all the songs we have... That and Telepathy.)

hon. mention: Tied Together with a Smile

SATAN

cowboy like me (evermore)

I've got some tricks up my sleeve, takes one to know one

You're a cowboy like me, never wanted love, just a fancy car

Satan was the hardest to pick for, I think. Originally I wanted to go for something like. idk. Sweeter Than Fiction? Which to be fair could be a good pick too. But I feel like cowboy like me encapsulates his "i've finally met my match, so i'm never letting go" kind of thing

hon. mention: Sweeter Than Fiction, I Think He Knows

ASMODEUS

Gorgeous (reputation)

You should take it as a compliment that I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk, you should think about the consequence of your magnetic field being a little too strong

This one was the first one I thought of LMAO I think people might say it's a pretty shallow pick but it's exactly why I went with it anyway - he seems like a very shallow demon and his aesthetic is definitely what first draws you in, but if you don't bother trying to get to know him, he'll only ever be gorgeous and nothing else. Do you get what I'm going for here. I hope you do.

hon. mention: Style, Bejeweled

BEELZEBUB

Stay Stay Stay (Red, Taylor's Version)

You carry my groceries and now I'm always laughing, and I love you because you have given me no choice but to stay

All those times you didn't leave, it's been occuring to me, I'd like to hang out with you for my whole life

I take back what I said about Satan. BEEL was the hardest to pick for 😵‍💫😭 tbh this pick went purely off of vibes and not necessarily any deeper connection. How dare I call myself a Beel simp. (Someone help me out here i'm dying)

BELPHEGOR

Run (Red, Taylor's Version)

Darling, let's run, run from it all

We can go where our eyes can take us, go where no one else is, run

I think I gravitated towards this song for Belphie because of the themes of escapism. Like all he wants to do is be with you and no one else (and maybe Beel) but as long as he's with you, anywhere is home

hon. mention: Untouchable

DIAVOLO

Enchanted (Speak Now, Taylor's Version)

This is me praying that this was the very first page, not where the storyline ends, my thoughts will echo your name until I see you again.

He was so fun to think for because he definitely has this almost naive, fairytale charm when it comes to romance, I think. Like he's definitely the type to reference fairytale romances with prince charming and sweeping you off your feet and all that. I think.

hon. mention: Today Was a Fairytale, gold rush

BARBATOS

Dancing With Our Hands Tied (reputation)

I could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets, picture of your face in an invisible locket, you said there was no one in the world that could stop it

I was divided between this one and Timeless, but went with dwoht bc the vibes felt right. On-the-low sutuationship-relationship yet always craving their presence and intimacy? Yeah sign me up

hon. mentions: Timeless, Haunted

SOLOMON

Sweet Nothing (Midnights)

Outside, they're push and shoving, you're in the kitchen humming, all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing

note: do NOT let him do shit in the kitchen

I picked this one because I think out of all of them, I associate Solomon with domesticity the most. I think he'd be one to crave for that too, and that all he wants is to go home after a long day to see you.

hon. mention: Ours, Our Song

SIMEON

Treacherous (Red, Taylor's Version)

Your name has echoed through my mind and I just think you should, think you should know, that nothing safe is worth the drive

Oh Simeon, the most un-angel angel (or ex-angel?) to ever exist. I originally wanted to go for something a bit more sensual for him, but I think Treacherous encapsulates his inner conflict of where he stands as an angel, his love for the brothers, and his love for you.

hon. mention: So It Goes...

MEPHISTOPHELES

Electric Touch (Speak Now, Taylor's Version)

All I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life, got a feeling your electric touch could fill this ghost town up with life

And I want you now, wanna need you forever, in the heat of your electric touch

Listen. Mephisto feels like a slowburn which was why I chose this song exactly. The uncertainty, the hope, the longing, but with a sprinkle of denial and starvation. The overthinking. YEAHHHH BABYYY IM GOING TO LOSE IT (<- has the unfortunate trait of being a mephisto simp)

hon. mentions: Cruel Summer, Afterglow

THIRTEEN

Wonderland (1989)

Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds? Didn't it all seem new and exciting? I felt your arms twisting around me, I should've slept with one eye open at night

Oh picking a song for her was fun. I also got stuck between two songs but chose Wonderland just bc I felt it suited her better. There's an air of mystery, skepticism, madness, longing... you name it

hon. mention: Message in a Bottle

RAPHAEL

Snow on the Beach (Midnights)

This scene feels like what I once saw on a screen, I searched aurora borealis green, I've never seen someone lit from within, blurring out my periphery

Okay this one feels like a stretch but also I'm half projecting because Raph is my favorite undateable LMFAO I just think his. Distance(?) makes it so it's almost magical that he gets drawn in. y'know. Almost like a once in a lifetime thing.

hon. mention: Dress, Superman

And that's all of them! I'm aware I didn't include Luke and although I still could include him with a more platonic/familial song, I went into this with like. Romance in my brain so. Sorry Luke ur still my bff don't worry.

There's also a distinct lack of debut, fearless, and folklore i'm so sorry i didnt mean it 😭

Anyways if you have any songs you also associate with them, I'd love to hear it!!

I made a playlist here!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me mephistopheles #obey me solomon #obey me thirteen #obey me raphael #taylor swift

29 notes · View notes

s-c-l-n · 6 days

Text

is this a safe space to say i dont believe taylor swift really cares about her music anymore ? maybe its because ive matured over the last decade and have come to realize her songs are mid, but especially with this album i cannot find it in me to see any care done well for it. all the songs sound similar, the flow of them is never changing, and the mixing is mid. (see tl;dr at the end if you dont want to read 9 paragraphs of deep dive ranting)

if you look at her debut album, its not great. its lyrics are fine, the instrumentals and mixing are whatever, and it just generally is a find/mid album. if that album was released in 2006, why 18 years and 9 albums later does this album seem to have similar issues ?

personally i think it all boils down to a general lack of care and a need to make herself seem more sophisticated than she actually is. in times of her generally most loved albums (speak now->folklore) you see the lyrics are not trying to be anything more than lyrics. of course there is deeper meaning, but it is not convoluting itself for you to find the main meaning. it is pop and electric songs through and through.

when taylor tried to break into a more folk sound it is in my opinion what broke her. she had a hit with folklore, lyrics not yet super convoluted in meaning, and definitely holding a more folk sound as opposed to her usual pop sound. her voice became softer and the instrumentals followed.

the problem with this though, is that folk music is typically little instrumentals but with deep and meaningful story telling lyrics. taylor saw this is something thats is 1) getting popular again (see noah kahn) and 2) something that she has vaguely done before. so she writes evermore.

evermore is not as good as folklore, point blank period. swifties still adore it though. it is the true beginning of convoluted lyrics trying to seem deeper than they really are. it makes her seem more “folk” if you will. filling spaces with long sat words tat make the listener confused as opposed to her prior style of basically just sitting you down and telling a story like it was a casual chat between friends.

with midnights this same issue of lyrics comes up again, but also the question of what the hell is the sound of this album. its like a poppy folk album. very confusing and not very good. people are not huge fans but will listen anyways cause its taylor swift.

finally with this album i believe we are finally seeing the result of what trying to appeal to an audience as opposed to yourself while also seeming much more than you really are has done to her. almost all the songs on ttpd sound the same, her ow has become not only predicable but nearly the same throughout most all her songs.

the beauty that used to be taylor swift was that she could do a thousand different genres and have mediocre but fun lyrics that people could enjoy. after the initial failure of reputation taylor began appealing more to the public rather than what she wanted. she made another pop album that did fine. she kinda went off and made a folksy album, but has yet to shake off the folksiness of folklore because the people like it and she does not want to get massively ridiculed again or lose money/not make a hit album.

taylor swift is a sellout and a mediocre lyricist, leading to “deep” lyrics like “I'd say the 1830s but without all the racists” and “You know how to ball, I know Aristotle/Brand new, full throttle/Touch me while your bros play Grad Theft Auto” which are just horrendous lyrics.

the thing of it all, my tl;dr, is that taylor seift got so ridiculed for reputation and to an extent lover that she wound up only doing music that appealed to the people rather than what she did before which was make music generally more for herself. red and speak now are some of the peoples favorite albums of hers, because they felt authentic. midnights and ttpd do not feel authentic, and to some extent evermore as well. taylor swift is a sellout and is scared to do anything that might make her lose money or fans. she does not care for the music as much as she cares about numbers. numbers of listeners, of money, of awards. it has become a game to her and it is a game that will cause her to implode on herself and i think we are seeing it now

#does any of this make sense #also sorry for the divergence from the typicaly haikyuu content this is a very important topic to me #but anyways #i wish taylor would start making music out of love rather than to make money #its a teue shame what happens when people sell out #taylor swift #ttpd #taylor swift ttpd #the tortured poets department

4 notes · View notes

lesbianfreyja · 1 year

Note

Ok I’m genuinely curious… can you like explain Gaylors? It’s like usually even if I don’t get something I can see how people got there but that is not the case here. Like I’m coming from a biased place because I do not like her music and I can’t prove it but she gives me the vibe she would have bullied me in high school and I have a very low tolerance for White Feminism but like as a queer person on the queer internet I can’t not see stuff about it. Is it like they want her to be gay so they have a chance or is it like something they actually believe? Neither? Both?

ok i will try to answer this accessibly 🙏 without delving into her personal life and focusing more on lyrical analysis because it's more interesting <3 and less invasive & takes into account that there is always an element of storytelling to songwriting that will beget themes and so on, without always aligning directly with the truth because...it's a story <3

let's get into it!!

i'd like to start with how she repeatedly comes back to this hidden, forbidden love that she can't let anyone know about. this is a recurring theme on basically every album, and while some of it is because of the media attention and investigations on her & her relationships….

i know places that we can hide and they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down

outside, they're pushing & shoving; everyone's up to something / you're in the kitchen humming, all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing

make sure nobody sees you leave, keep your hood up and your head down / that's the thing about illicit affairs

no deal, that 1950s shit they want from me / all they see is a one night or a wife / i just wanna stay in this lavender haze (a song she specifically said was about rumors she loathed, which as an interesting aside, the internet took to mean gaylors until the album came out)

some of it relies a little too heavily on the "this is something BAD/secret that CANNOT be discovered" with full religious imagery to boot

don't blame me, love made me crazy / lord, save me / i would fall from grace just to touch your face

they say i did something bad, then why's it feel so good?

your touch brought forth an incandescent glow, tarnished but so grand / i wish to know the fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed

i'm drunk in the back of the car and i cried like a baby coming home from the bar said i'm fine but it wasn't true i don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you and i snuck in through the garden gate every night that summer just to seal my fate and i scream "for whatever it's worth, i love you; ain't that the worst thing you've ever heard?"

there's her repeated instances of "writing from a man's perspective" i.e. betty, the man; which is interesting when in Dear Reader she refers to herself as "a fourth drink in my hand, these desperate prayers from a cursed man" & it's worth noting that this album leaned heavily on the grief of being unknowable to ANYONE and going home alone everyday, even when she....had a boyfriend but i digress because we're getting away from literary analysis. it's worth nothing that evermore also included ivy, which is about how one of the bronte sisters stole their brother's wife

interestingly, she also capitalizes certain letters in the songbooks sent out with physical CDs. some fun ones to note include WHEN I SAW YOU IN HYIANNIS PORT (specifically spelled incorrectly to match the letters of dianna agrons name; dianna also had an alice in wonderland tattoo on her ribs that she got lasered off after Wonderland was released). there are other, similar instances of this.

then there's the things that just plain...don't sound like they're about a man because of the words she uses. not a trump card, but certainly an interesting cherry on top

you're so gorgeous, i can't say anything to your face

i used to switch out these kens, i'd just ghost / it hits different 'cos its you

the lips i used to call home so scarlet it was maroon

hair falling into place like dominos

i don't want you like a best friend

it feels like i'm losing a friend / i can't breathe without you

feels like home, stay in bed the whole weekend; its nice to have a friend

i hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

it's interesting that she "went from friends to this" when there's no evidence her and joe knew each other at all before dating. actually, friends to this is more of a gay thing.

then there's things that seem like clear flagging.

her hair dyed the bi pride colors in You Need to Calm Down mv

the miss americana documentary in which she lists things that make her her, amongst them "cowboy boots, rainbows, gay pride"

her midnights merch included a bracelet that just says PRIDE with the bi flag

i heard that the Eras tour starts out with the lesbian flag colors splashed on the stage

fun fact: if you lay out each color she lists in maroon, you get lesbian flag colors (rose, burgundy, scarlet, rust, maroon, ruby)

some throwaway things that are i think are funny gaylor "evidence":

starting out reputation with "you & me got big reputations and would be a big conversation" when no one knew who joe was at all

the chorus of this song: "they don't know about the night in the hotel, they weren't riding in the car when we both fell, didn't read the note on the polaroid picture, they don't know how much i miss..........you"

referring to red lips in maroon when she's never dated a man with lips, let alone red lips

she advocates for gay rights & taylor never speaks up about anything that doesn't affect her

#ask #anon #taylor swift

14 notes · View notes

trashcatsnark · 1 year

Text

OC Songs! Aidan V. Becker!~

I was tagged by the precious @tarmac-rat and the just as lovely @beammeupbroadway

I have a very chonky playlist that you can find here, but heres a handful of selections

Tremble by LPX (Also kind of my headcanon of what Aidan's singing voice sounds like)

I don't wanna tear your heart out But I'm edging on a breakdown I've been up and down the same route Too afraid of the fall out I know that we gotta quit, you just never see it

Keep holding my breath blue, how better can I show you What can I do to cut through, falling fast but I can't move I know that we gotta quit, you just never see it

Wish I could purge you out I'm sick with doubt, god help me now

Two by The Antlers (prefer the acoustic version on youtube tbh)

You had a new dream, it was more like a nightmare You were just a little kid and they cut your hair Then they stuck you in machines, you came so close to dying They should have listened, they thought that you were lying Daddy was an asshole, he fucked you up Built the gears in your head, now he greases them up

Can I Leave Me Too by The Greeting Committee

I'm scared of myself without you I'll change my ways for a few days if it means you'll stay I'm filthy, creepy, clingy for you always

If you go, can I go with you? If you leave me, can I leave me too? I'm afraid that I might need you If you go, can I go with you?

Good Girls by CHVRCHES

Is it easier when you don't have to count to ten? When you don't have to pretend? I want to know that feeling Is it easier when you don't have to start again? When you don't want to make amends? I want to know that feeling

Good girls don't cry And good girls don't lie And good girls justify but I don't Good girls don't die And good girls stay alive And good girls satisfy but I won't

Fast Talk by Dawn Golden (Jackie and Aidan vibes)

And everyone who knows our name Says that we ain't ever gonna change They say we're born to die young But we're trying to find a better way They say we're born to die young But we're trying to find a better way Maybe heaven is a ghetto with no bad blocks Shangri-La dealers at the bus stop And maybe God is just a cop that we can fast talk So if you're guilty and you know it, put your hands up 'Cause karma's just a different word for bad luck And what if death is just another pair of handcuffs? Then we better run

Baby Teeth by Flower Face (Johnny/Aidan vibes)

If I can't hold you like a lover I won't hold you at all The tide is turning on you, baby, and I feel nothing anymore If we could stay this way forever would it ever be enough? I wear your bruises on my shoulder now forever and evermore

Your lip got split, spill grenadine kisses, the codeine kids got you down Picking fights with the devil, you know, you've got a real smart mouth Driving you home from the bar and you're touching my face but I don't make a sound

Hope In Hell by Black Pistol Fire (Johnny/Aidan vibes)

It's over now, you see Keep pulling at my seams Fuck you and the horse you rode in on Down on my luck But I never really had none I soften up the blow It only goes to show Useless to try

Only my mind, I think you got that too You can have it all But how much do you wanna lose?

Dog Teeth by Nicole Dollanganger (Johnny/Aidan post bender vibes)

He handed me a pair of pliers and he told me to pull out his teeth Because as long as he'd had them he'd use them to do bad things

You're cold on the inside There's a dog in your heart and it tells you to tear everything apart My body's covered in teeth marks, your bite's worse than your bark

You ruin everything you touch and destroy anyone you love, you're all over me

Sorry by Nothing But Thieves (Johnny/Aidan post bender vibes)

I broke your heart so carelessly But made the pieces part of me And now it hurts what we've become 'Cause you taught me how to love It's me who taught you how to stop

And so many fucking more, I could fill a book, but here's a few

#cyberpunk 2077 #aidan v becker #johnny silverhand #silverv #aidan becker #female v #ship: mold on fruit

8 notes · View notes

septembersghost · 1 year

Note

Hi Jess! <3 I saw someone send you an ask about TS, and I just wanted to share that “goodbye goodbye goodbye you were bigger than the whole sky” (the whole music but specially that one lyric) makes me weep like a baby, and I wanted to know if you have any thoughts on this song? (apologies if you’ve shared them before, the tumblr search for it was, as usual, not fruitful lol). G’night from my timezone to whatever yours is!

hi honey!!! you know i love taylor asks <333

it's curious, i have a collection of her songs that are objectively beautiful, and subjectively i cannot physically listen to and perpetually skip (ronan, soon you'll get better, epiphany, several tracks on evermore tbh. never grow up is actually one too), and you'd think bigger than the whole sky would fall into this category since it makes me weep. but because of the way i've deeply personalized it, it's become consoling to me despite how heartbreaking it is.

in a literal sense, i believe we know what it's about and it's a situation that was not taylor's own, but something devastating that happened to a dear friend (claire winter. she has publicly shared about this, but i still feel like respectfully it deserves a little bit of space). and it has helped many people because of that specific topic, which is so touching. that said, every song taylor writes also has quite a bit of herself infused into its meaning. i've seen analysis connecting it to the loss of self in would've could've should've (like this post), and wrote a bit here about how personally it resonates with me and speaks to the way i grieve the girl i was and the adult i never got to be.

i feel bttws is one of her songs that's so empathetic and poignant in the way it addresses grief and loss that we can take that to our own hearts however we need it. it can be losing someone you loved (it made me think, for example, of my precious dog too, and then i questioned if that was selfish, but...it isn't, sorrow is sorrow for each of us, just as i mourn myself and my life unlived and everything i hoped i could be), it can be about losing potential, losing a dream, losing something dear and essential in yourself, wondering why it had to happen that way. and most importantly, in acknowledging that that matters. it's not trying to minimize any aspect of that loss. whatever it is that's gone away from us, that was valuable and sacred. it was bigger than the whole sky, and no matter how long it existed, when it's that dear, that full of promise, it's more than just a short time, the span of that doesn't measure its worth. you're allowed to pine, and cry, and recognize what you're living without. you're allowed to feel the weight of that sadness. you're allowed to give it voice, and you're allowed to feel the expanse of it across your world. saying goodbye doesn't mean you don't always carry that with you. what could've been, would've been, should've been was still a beautiful thing, and the loss itself left something behind. you carry it alongside you wherever you go, and it isn't shameful, it's reverent and quietly true.

#does this make sense #it is such a beautiful song...it means a lot to me that she released it #bi lullaby #taylor swift #bigger than the whole sky #midnights #letterbox #grief does not expire like a candle or the beacon on a lighthouse; it simply changes temperature

4 notes · View notes

9w1ft · 1 year

Note

Hey, 9wing! Earl grey's a terrific and fancy choice :) Cheers from my plain ol' cup of coffee!

Now, I don't celebrate Christmas, but my life has been feeling pretty miraculous in the past few days/weeks!

I'm finally doing a bit better at school, my relationship with my family has improved slightly, and health wise, I'm not doing too bad like before. I still have a lot of room for improvement, but in the past few days, I've made a lot of progress in terms of organizing myself and getting things done on my to-do list. I've also actively making an effort to control my responses and respond to being criticised, bad events, and all of that with patience and it's paid off the past few days - so I'm very happy about that too.

On the day of Christmas, I hung around with my online friends and we created digital Christmas trees using this site, colormytree.me - we left behind sweet messages to each other by decorating each other's trees, and I've gotten some of the best messages from them. They also liked my messages for them too!

The day after, I invited my irl friends to my house for the first time. I was scared about if I could be a good host, especially since I was home alone and had to manage all of the socializing activities myself, but ultimately, it was a very fun day and my friends were amazing and patient! We made some really good memories. I also got some really good cookies out of it.

Finally, I've taken a break from my Midnights obsession to listen to the ultimate Christmas songs: evermore with a touch of Christmas Tree Farm!

Thanks for giving us a positive space, 9wing! How was your week? Did you have a nice holiday with your family?

wow! props to you for knocking out all these personal goals!! that work is hard but it’s the best feeling when you can make small incremental progress on yourself. many congratulations! ooh and i love the idea of this activity you did with friends, i’ll have to check it out!

things got a little hectic for me with some work preparations, and karlie having been here kinda gave me heart palpitations but sleuthing out where she went while here on my home turf has been fun! it’s been cool to be able to pick up on all these little details. all and all i had such a great week! we have been hanging out, cooking tasty food, and playing games. it’s been so special seeing my daughters play with one another. going to an afternoon tea later!

5 notes · View notes

wh0re-behavi0r · 5 days

Text

I'm listening to the new album gonna post my thoughts

1. I like it, "I love you it's ruining my life I touch you for only a fortnight", not the best instrumental. I think it would've been better as either a post song or a solely Taylor song weirdly enough. Underwhelming Collab which hers usually aren't (this doesn't include the reputation album I didn't like those).

2. No. Too many words, none of them good to me, and the instrumental is boring.

3. H&m type song, no.

4. Not bad but it needs something more... I think if it was another artist, even a younger artist or like not mid tempo pop. Really like the outro, could be a good song for ship edits.

5. Interested in the intro then got less interested with the pulsing beat, second chorus feels better, don't like the bridge. "Pissed off I gave you all my youth for free" is a good line.

6. The title is good but this isn't doing anything for me, like almost but no. Like I can skip it and be fine.

7. Feel like this didn't sound out.

8. This is sounding good. Florence came in and I realized why I'm not into this album and I will stop listening here.

While I love all kinds of music, pop music only sticks out to me if it's something like Chappell Roan, Olivia Rodrigo, Lorde, Troye Sivan, Lady Gaga and this... Is forgettable to me for a few reasons.

1. None of the songs are distinguishable. All of them feel like they're around the same tempo, there's no beat or melody that gets stuck in your head, and so then we rely on the lyrics.

2. The lyrics aren't gut wrenching or easy to grab. Pop is famous for its good hooks at the very least, and so far that wasn't the truth at all. It's not like wordy songs don't work, but it wasn't working in the favor in this case. I think Fortnight was the perfect example of a pop song that works and could be a little bit catchy in Taylor Swift style but all the other songs were basically just Fortnight over and over.

Sidenote: wordy pop/deeper meaning pop songs exist and work in a lot of cases (Pretty isnt Pretty, Stoned at the nail salon, The Louvre, tbh the whole melodrama album)

3. The same song vibes also made me think about her whole discography and how I feel like there should be a little bit of growth in something but TS follows a formula, and it's still here and now it's feeling juvenile. I know it isn't actually all "boy break my heart and he sucks" but the overall vibe ends up getting there anyway.

But when I got to Florida!!! I realized my final problem.

4. Taylor Swift is an amazing storyteller and an okay vocalist. Pop songs get phenomenally better with better vocals but that still doesn't mean you need to do anything fancy. Troye Sivan has never own me away vocally but every song is enjoyable because the lyrics, voice, and beat are all there. This album requires you to rely on lyrics and voice... And neither of them are strong here.

Florence's tone is so unique it made whatever she sang sound so good. I think when Taylor sings:

"And my friends all smell like weed or little babies And this city reeks of driving myself crazy"

It's not even a bad line but something about her singing it feels odd. It's kinda like "Snow on the Beach" which sounded like a Lana song and should've been one.

But yeah that's why I stopped listening.

Idk I know a few "The National" songs and I don't listen to Jack's band but the vibes were way better in evermore and folklore.

#ttpd

0 notes

cametotheshowinsd · 2 years

Photo

EVERMORE: A MOVIE Dorothea Finlay, the-country-sweetheart-turned-to-IT-girl, just had the most devastating week in her life. On Sunday she won an Academy Award, and came Friday, one despicable tabloid ruined it all. The obscenely-worded piece revealed her past - the one she tried so hard to put behind her: The childhood sweethearts. The broken engagement. The runaway. Her castle crumbled overnight. Headlines flash "MAD WOMAN". Dorothea's reputation's never been worse. Heart frozen, Dorothea got on the train that led to her hometown: Tupelo, Mississippi. She wandered around, trying to restore peace and find her old self. That's when she met him again -- the man she almost married -- William, now a piano player at the school's Methodist church. In the holiday weekend, they roamed in the old town and went down the memory lane together...

#taylor swift #tswiftedit #tswiftgif #evermore #lyrics #Aaaahhh I'm a bit nervous posting this #I really hope it make sense cuz I love this idea so much #It's basically got dorothea x 'tis the damn season as the main storyline #and Xover w/ champagne problems & coney island #(that's why I included the award scene cuz when she walked up to the podium #she deliberately didn't mention his name)#and it also got a little evermore!the song touch #anyway I really REALLY hope Dorothea's story ends up w/ long story short #flash images #flash tw #p.s.#let's just pretend the oscars ceremony held in autumn and winter in the 1920~30s

2K notes · View notes

demetriandelibinaryboyfriends · 2 years

Photo

Fatefully I tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me Misery Like the war of words I shouted in my sleep And you passed right by I was in the alley, surrounded on all sides The knife cuts both ways If the shoe fits, walk in it 'til your high heels break

And I fell from the pedestal Right down the rabbit hole Long story short, it was a bad time Pushed from the precipice Clung to the nearest lips Long story short, it was the wrong guy Now I'm all about you I'm all about you I'm all about you

Actually I always felt I must look better in the rear view Missing me At the golden gates they once held the keys to When I dropped my sword I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door Can we live in peace? But if someone comes at us This time, I'm ready

'Cause I fell from the pedestal Right down the rabbit hole Long story short, it was a bad time Pushed from the precipice Clung to the nearest lips Long story short, it was the wrong guy Now I'm all about you I'm all about you I'm all about you

No more keeping score Now I just keep you warm No more tug of war Now I just know there's more No more keeping score Now I just keep you warm And my waves meet your shore Ever and evermore

Past me I wanna tell you not to get lost in these petty things Your nemeses Will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing And she's passing by Rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky And she feels like home If the shoe fits, walk in it everywhere you go

And I fell from the pedestal Right down the rabbit hole Long story short, it was a bad time Pushed from the precipice Climbed right back up the cliff Long story short, I survived

Now I'm all about you I'm all about you I'm all about you I'm all about you I'm all about you I'm all about you

Long story short, it was a bad time Long story short, I survived

***

Listen I promised y’all YasMoon content, and who was I to not deliver???

Okay so I’ve always thought of Long Story Short as an Elimetri song, but like...then I thought of it being a Yasmine @ Moon song, and I got absolutely SOFT about it :O Like!!! Imagine instead of getting a redemption arc through randomly becoming horny for some nerdy guy, Yasmine got a redemption arc through trying to be a better person for her best friend and secret gay crush!!!! Like the BEAUTY the MAGNIFICENCE the ABSOLUTE SAPPHIC BRILLIANCE I simply can’t--

Anyways Yasmine being straight was home of phobic, she’s closet lesbian-coded to hell and back and I WILL die on that hill. I mean, being the most popular girl in school and having apparently never dated Kyler, the most popular guy in school??? Not even a little bit??? Not even for show??? SUS. Also literally the only time she genuinely smiles in S1 and doesn’t have like...a smug sneer on is when she’s getting high in the car with Moon and for once actually letting loose and being herself. And yes, I can and will read into that, thank you very much.

Also worth noting that these two??? CAME BACK to each other in S3??? When they very much did not have to??? Like last we saw them in S1, Yas’s reputation is ruined and she and Moon are very much not on good terms. Neither really would have a good reason to try and rekindle their friendship--like Yasmine should still be pissed at Moon for “betraying” her for the losers and letting her be humiliated, and Moon don’t got any reason to associate with Front Wedgie anymore. AND YET! Also ALSO Moon seems to be one of the few people that Yasmine actually respects and values the opinion of, since she doesn’t dismiss her outright when she says Yas should “try to be nicer” and she’s still choosing to hang with Moon in the first place despite, again, her having every reason to cut Moon off entirely. And none of this is even touching on the S4 lesbian subtext between these two, which can (and probably will) be its own post tbh.

So anyways, what I’m trying to say is that Harold, they’re lesbians. And also Yasmine getting a redemption arc through her relationship with Moon >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Yasmine getting a redemption arc through her relationship with Demetri actually. I think Cobra Kai would be infinitely better if Hawk and Demetri’s girlfriends were to kiss each other instead of these two ragingly homosexual boys they have no chemistry with, send tweet.

Pic credits available upon request!

#yasmoon #yasmine x moon #moon x yasmine #aesthetic #moodboard #yasmine cobra kai #moon cobra kai #wlw #lesbian #sapphic #cobra kai #cobra kai season 1 #cobra kai season 3 #cobra kai season 4

23 notes · View notes

peeterparkr · 3 years

Text

invisible string;tom holland.

summary: life has a way of pulling you and Tom close to each other, then it pulls you apart.

“It is like an invisible red cord or thread which connects you to that one person you’re destined to meet, your true love.”

soulmate au

word count: 6.4k

pairing: tom holland x reader

warnings: breakup mention, fluff, angst. fluffy angst.

LOOK I TRIED TO WRITE FLUFF BUT I’M NOT GOOD AT IT SO ANGST CAME BUT I TRIED BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE IT

heavily inspired by folklore and evermore by taylor

thanks @jambrosemc for helping me you’re amazing

So, this is for one of my best friends here, @badhollandfluff, Delaney I’m sorry this took so long but I wanted it to be perfect for you, surprise!!! I’m your secret Santa! Love you, hope you had an amazing Christmas and I wish you a happy new year, I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Thanks to everyone who joined, happy holidays!!

No one ever has time. We’re always running and rushing and trying to save a little, it’s always like we have it counted and we never truly realize time is passing by. The clock keeps ticking. You were a victim of that, sometimes, always running, never knowing why. Time always going faster than you wanted it to be.

Until it stopped, it had stopped since last year.

There you were now. A white mug. These days you don’t really see that. Everyone has the paper cups with the coffee collar. Their names scribbled on black that probably still smells like sharpie. But you were holding a white mug, that now was just slightly stained by your pink lipstick.

The mug was stained inside too, with the leftover foam of your capuchino. You were letting it set cold, watching as the people would walk in. Waiting.

You trailed your gaze around the room, there are some couples around you.

You liked the idea of this café, with people gathering around just for the simple fact of drinking a hot coffee out of a mug. You like to come here, to sit out your thoughts, sometimes you’ll find some time to work, read. But you’d be alone. You’ve been lonely lately.

It didn’t matter, it’s fair to point that out. But today, you were going to meet him. Again.

But you didn’t know that yet.

You had once read about soul connections, interested if you’d ever find your own, seemed like most people around had met them. You hadn't. Not the one you were longing to find, that is.

Bizarre.

Honestly, you didn’t believe in them. Or you liked to say that to yourself, sad enough to admit you hadn’t found any type of strong connection.

Or maybe you had.

But it made absolutely remotely no sense, at all.

How could you? There was absolutely no scientific proof that there were soulmates, and though everyone said you could feel them, that you’d sense it, and though the extinguished sadness on your friends could be proof enough, you were still sceptic. Maybe just doubting if you’d find yours. Or maybe you didn’t want to accept who was yours.

Because Tom had left.

Your friends had assured you that when they’d found it the world had turned idyllic, a pink life.

Yeah, it had felt like that when you’d found Tom, but now everything was gray.

However, you knew more about them than anyone else. You had researched about them, you had read about them and you were so informed that you sometimes didn’t even believe it.

Though you liked to ignore that sometimes there was a song stuck in your head without reason or there was a sudden joy, that had no possible explanation.

“It’s your soulmate,” someone would point out.

It wasn’t, it’s just Tom’s favorite song.

There was also a sense of pain, sometimes you didn’t understand why you felt such a heartbreak, how bad had they hurt them? If they did exist, that is.

They didn’t, though.

You’d read about that heart connection, that feelings connect trying to understand how it comes and goes.

There are three types of connections. Karmic partnership, soulmates and twin flames. Different types of connections.

First ones, karmic partnership, and it is as bad as it sounds. They’re often confused as soulmates and people like to cling to them. They’re… awful, being the one heartache that is there to teach a lesson, the one person that is there to show you something about yourself, the one person who is strictly there for character development, let’s say. The one person you fall in love with and keep falling in love, but it’s not love, no matter how many times they hurt each other they go back. It’s not love, though. Or maybe it is, but there reason they exist is strictly to make you reason. It becomes….Cyclic. Until you finally decide to break the cycle. Intense transformation, the one person that makes you see yourself from a different perspective and change. There is, however, no compatibility.

Probably what you had with Tom. But… no, it wasn’t… There was too much compatibility.

You’ve had your fair share of them, maybe you’ve had

Then there are the soulmates. The perfect compatibility.

The one connection that is beautiful, a person that you just… feel it. The one person you feel like you’ve waited for them your whole life. Strong compatibility, there are more than one soulmate, that is to say, it could be friends, it could be family. It doesn’t have to be a romantic partner. There are soulmates that you wonder how they can be such an incredible connection.

Everyone has soulmates. You knew you’d met some of them, the friends one that is. None of them a connection strong enough to be your partner. Not that you didn’t want to, though.

Or maybe you didn’t want to acknowledge it.

You’ve read somewhere in the internet that there are connections that go beyond your wildest imagination. Go beyond soulmates. The… twin flames, the one your soul is so attached to, you can feel their pain, their joy.

Journeys end when lovers meet.

It’s fair to say, you’ve never believed in that information. Less after a heartbreak.

You had a million thoughts over your head, oozing you with stress and feeding your not long enough sleep schedule. You were slightly angry, you’d say. You didn’t like him anymore.

There are two kinds of people when it comes to liking someone. The ones who go forward it, fighting for it, hinting on it. Flirting as if there was no tomorrow. People like Tom.

And then there’s people who run away from feelings and try to pretend to act natural around their crushes. People who definitely don’t want to overstep boundaries and are afraid of ruining friendships. People like you.

But there was nothing to ruin now, was there?

Because there’s also people who give up. People like him. And people who never dare to forget. People like you.

It was never even.

But you keep daydreaming about him and can’t help that tinge of red spreading across your cheekbones every time he was near you. You shouldn’t have given in. You should’ve fought, but you were reckless. A sunrise dropping by again, and you wondered what had gone wrong.

Tom wanted to talk, you didn’t. You loved him, he didn’t love you.

Tom was gone. For good.

An unstoppable force meets an immovable object.

It’s the kind of love that you’d probably want to avoid. You at least, avoided all kinds. After him, who’d want to love anyone else? He was the only one who could tell if you dared to smile with your eyes only.

How stupid were you to believe he was your soulmate.

But no, this wasn’t right. Because feelings make everything blurry and it’s something not exact. If it wasn’t for science and numbers you didn’t like to believe anything. If you don’t know how it’ll turn out then you’ll probably avoid it. And when it comes to relationships, you never truly know. Or sometimes you do, but it’s usually... not pretty. You’d learned that with him.

Relationships end, and while you don’t want them to. You’ve sensed it, from the beginning. And you just hope that they’ll remember you in a nice way. Did he? Or had he just passed the page.

You still felt stuck in a chapter. He had stopped reading. So hard to be on different books now.

But with him, He was an exception. He was pushy and wasn’t giving up at the beginning until he did. You had seen him fall out of love, and that’s the worst kind of thing you get to face, when you see them slowly trailing far from you.

Plans? Dreams? The willow tree in that park when you had first kissed was still crying over your breakup. Your head had been low since you’d last kissed him. Had you known it was your last, you’d probably would’ve made it last longer, you would’ve held him for more time. You wouldn’t have let him leave.

But you had had your moment with him. It had been the last time you saw him. The one moment when you realized that his fake smile was just that, how convenient and cliche. But you didn’t want to give you in, just yet. No, you wouldn’t. He’d changed, and you didn’t like who he was now. Too changed, too built up, too busy, too whatever you could come up with.

You got tired of begging, and then he was easy to forget, you hadn’t forgotten. Just two years ago you thought he’d made a decision, you had made it. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. But he didn’t. And you couldn’t stop him, he was growing and growing and simply he escaped from your touch.

Then it had been a goodbye, and nobody had seen it coming. You had, you’d known it for a long time. And it was weird, you were so in love with him that you knew that it was the best for you both, to get away because though you loved him, you knew he wouldn’t be happy with you. It’s difficult to let go of what makes you happy.

You remembered it, how both of you would only smile at each other, like damn strangers, say a few hellos, and a fews how’s the weather, as if you hadn’t spent countless nights in between the sheets, as if you hadn’t danced in the middle of the night, as if you hadn’t given him each of the stars in the night sky, as if you hadn’t shared enough drinks together. Or as if you hadn’t fought for your love. You with that red jacket of his. How every path led to him. How every stupid weekend belonged to him, but now you wished they’d pass by sooner.

Maybe that’s why you were always rushing, so you wouldn’t feel it. You didn’t like the weekends anymore.

And now, she looked at him the way you were supposed to look at him. At first, it had hurt just a little, you hadn’t believed it. You knew it, everybody wanted to love him, but nobody knew what it felt, the crushing feeling that was loving him. How much it hurt, to watch him paddling with a precious smile, and those pair of angelic eyes, so pure and then turn into a devil just for you.

Nobody knew how it felt. Anticipating a heartbreak every time he walked in, and to pretend that you didn’t feel that anymore.

Last time only you thought you’d give him your heart, and he had pushed you away because his heart belonged to someone else. Then it was forbidden, to think about him, to dream about him, to still smell his scent on your pillows. It wasn’t right.

How could his heart ever belong to someone else but you?

And you had to smile, to say you were happy for him. Because you were, and that new girl was a fool because anyone who dares to fall for him is a fool, tangled in between lies. She who dares to love him is willing to have her heart crushed by him. And who but a fool is willing to let your heart be crushed by him.

Last time you’d seen him had been a friday night, 10pm on that one pub he liked going to. You had gone out with your friends, and he was there, with her against his shoulder, her with the long hair and the perfect smile, perfect laugh.

To think that had been your place once. You had avoided his gaze, ignored he was there. Pretending he hadn’t seen you. But he had. Pretending you hadn’t seen him. But you had.

Someone had said there is life after love, but there is not love after him. It’s like you’d thrown everything to the fire, and he had watched it burn. Everyone said it: you’ll be happy.

When?

Sure, it’d come, eventually. But it had been a year.

You’d heard he had broken up with her, a while ago. Then it was that hope again, probably why you were recurring to that café.

It’s funny to think you’ll love someone forever, and then it just… disappears. Every promise eventually breaks, every kiss eventually fades, and love is eventually gone.

Then why wasn’t it?

Time was your biggest enemy.

Your story with him, from the moment you’d first seen him, he was just—perfect, you thought about it, how everyone said it was your soulmate. And you believed it. From the moment you’d met him, you had finally believed in soulmates, because it made sense. How your story had been built up to him, and how many times of sudden joy had you had before meeting him because of how close you were.

Life had been so reckless. You were supposed to meet him several times before you actually met. It was stupid to think, how you were always thinking about it, now that you were apart.

The first time you’d ever crossed paths had been when you had been very, very young. You didn’t know he had been there, not aware, at a park. And there had been this sudden joy. You remembered feeling it, you’d said it, felt a spark.

Just children unaware of a flame burning too deep inside of you.

That other time, at the supermarket when both of you had gone with each other’s mothers and both of you had been playing with the toys.

You’d never forgotten that one very time, first time your hands ever touched, and it had felt like electricity. Two kids very confused by that spark, when both of them had reached to that one toy, confused.

Or that one time at the café when he had walked in, you were sure he had walked in, you’d felt it, how your heart had started to beat so fast, but before you could even glance at him he had walked out. Lost in the crowds, always.

How both of you had had a broken heart at the same time. First kiss had been almost at the same time, just blocks away, actually.

Or how you’d both been at that one party, but didn’t know about it. It made no sense how life had been so desperate to get you together but both your surroundings pulled you away. That night had been so close, both dancing behind each other, singing on top of your lungs to the same stupid song.

Or that one time when someone had pointed him to you when you were at that one pub, “look, that guy is cute.”

You had looked at him, he was. Shy smiles had only been directed in each other’s direction.

You’d later learned he’d sent you a drink but the waiter had mistaken the table.

That one time when you had run out of cash at that sandwich place because their card machine had stopped working, you were rushing, and you were missing only cents, and Tom had come to your rescue.

Or how he worked near you and his dad had been friends with your mom at some point. How his favorite song was the same as yours, and how often you’d be at the same park, him on his phone, you reading a book.

How you’d once met his dog that had run over to you. A dog that would learn to love you and did miss you from time to time.

How Tom had randomly found that one book you’d lost at the park once, under that willow tree and he’d read it. Loved it and then lost it again at that same park, with a random paper note that read: “Jerry’s 8pm, wine.” he’d used as a book separator.

Who was Jerry? What would happen at 8pm? Wine? What type? Red? Rose? White? Why were you so intrigued by that note?

You’d kept it to this day. Still didn’t know what it was. You knew Jerry now, though, he was a friend. And now you knew that he liked wine but preferred beer.

You’d given him a pretty book separator. He still had kept it to this day, never used it, he always used random notes or napkins or whatever he found. At first it stressed you, how many book separators did you not have and he’d use napkins or those fortune papers that come with fortune cookies. So you had transformed into a better habit, you would write notes so he’d used them. You’d order chinese food more often, too.

He said he’d always remember that, your little notes, the way you always stained your cup of coffee with lipstick, your two left feet when you danced, or the fact that your laugh would be heard across a room. He’d always recognize your laugh.

What a Whimsical thing love is when it’s not the right time.

How many times have you not felt like there was something missing? Until he appeared, at that one park near the cafe where you are sitting right now. The first time you’d ever officially met. Nothing out of a book, something very casual. Both of you at that café, it had been crowded that one day and the only chair available was the one in front of you.

“I’m sorry, hello,” he had said, making you look up from your book. “May—I sit here?” He asked. “There’s no other chair left in the room and—“

“Yeah, yeah, hi, you can sit,” you had said, without really looking at him, but the moment you had, the moment your eyes had met his, you had…. felt like the whole surrounding had disappeared and you were the only people in the room, it seemed he had also noticed something.

A cold november evening, both of you had a reason to go home yet neither of you had gone home. Both of you had found a way to that café, with coffees in a mug. The leaves falling outside.

He had sat right in front of you, you couldn’t help but blush when noticing he was attractive, very attractive. But there was something else about him, maybe it had been the way he couldn’t sit still. He had stared at you, and smiled.

From the very first time you’d ever seen his smile, you knew three things,

His smile was the prettiest thing you’d ever laid your eyes on

His smile was so familiar

His smile would eventually break your heart.

The third one wasn’t as cheerful but you could tell, he was one of those guys who could easily break someone’s heart in a blink.

It didn’t take him a blink to break yours. You’d need a lifetime to break his.

“I’m Tom.”

“Y/N.”

Both of you liked to debate over who’d talk to who first, it didn’t matter honestly. You both remembered how both of you had ordered the same drink, a cappuccino. Neither of you liked it, but apparently both of you had wanted to ask for something new.

You’d always do that. Taste new drinks.

And it had been… as if you’d met before. You had, multiple times before, but neither one knew, of course. Not at that point, but like you were meant to find him. The sun had gone down and it had been hours and hours of you talking to each other, like old friends who knew their deepest secrets and were catching up, laughs becoming one melody, and both of you had soon realized the cafe hadn’t been that crowded. Maybe it had been the damn destiny pulling you together. To that cafe near the park with that willow tree.

He had asked questions you didn’t have the answers to back then. You did now.

Before you knew it, you were walking with a stranger through the London night, seeing people walk by and not looking at them, because somehow you’d both walked to that one park. Both of you had discovered you both liked to sit on that one bench near the willow tree. How many times had you missed the other jusy by a matter of minutes.

“You’re kidding, I love this place, I’m always here,” he had said.

“I am, too, weird we’d never met before,” you had chuckled.

You honestly didn’t remember how or why it had happened. A kiss. You’d kissed a stranger who didn’t feel like a stranger at all.

“I’m sorry, I-” He had started.

“No, it’s--”

And then kissed again. Your stomach had dropped and had been replaced with butterflies. How had a simple cappuccino led to this?

He’d given you a smile and a promise. You’d met him the next day, and the other one, and the next one. With that stupid smile of his.

You missed that smile, or how he flirted with you, make you giggle with a stupid joke, or how he’d open his arms to you and kiss you, tumbling down to the couch. The way he’d make you listen to him ramble about his latest discovery. How he always found a way to make you smile in the crowds, always holding your hand, new dates in different places.

“What do you mean you’ve never gone paintball?”

Weekends only for him, going for breakfast, for dinner, for lunch, for tea, for this, for that. . Then it was the weeknights too, always finding time for you, traditions you created and that you got rid off. Laying down on the grass, looking at stars, kissing in bars, dancing in his living room, your head on his shoulder in movie theatres, his scent on your pillow, his favorite movies next to your dvd, your perfume in his closet and your toothbrush in his bathroom. Notes he’d written to remember things all around your place. Birthdays, new year, parties.

Endless nights of laugh, of wine and of nothing at all. Kissing. Video Games you didn’t understand, failed attempts to bake, watching sport games he loved and you… tolerated. Him finally agreeing to watch that movie with Ryan Gosling.

“Why Ryan Gosling?”

Building plans together, nights of both of you debating on something stupid. Singing on top of your lungs without knowing the lyrics. Getting lost together, that one roadtrip where neither of you knew the way and ended up at that one hotel in the middle of the road. Kissing. Learning to read every emotion, and being each other’s blankets. Hearing each other’s ugly laughs, and crying in front of the other. Being each other’s confort. Hugging him when you were scared at the movie. Meeting the parents.

“They loved you, don't worry.”

Always holding each other’s hands. Fights under the rain. Making up hours later and cuddling to let go of it. Being friends with each other’s friends. Seeing friends getting engaged, going to the weddings. Talking about a wedding. Learning, becoming their best selves.

Then…. Cold.

He’d left you when you had been the most in love with him. When you thought he’d shows up with a ring. But he had said goodbye instead. With his picture on your phone and your hand cold with no one to hold. He’d changed your life, completely.

You’d learned so, so, so much. And at some point you…. Realized it.

You should’ve known, he was not your soulmate.

You’d read somewhere about twin flames. Yeah… you had, about the one soul that changes your life.

You’d learned about the importance of the sunrise and the sunset, how beautiful both of them are, and how dizzy you can get when you get to see both because you didn’t get to sleep because you had laughed and kissed all night.

They say time is wise, yet you still were hurting and you still loved him. Because it was like his love was a thread still engraved to your own very soul. And though when you were with him it was timeless, you’d learned to give more minutes to the hours you were with him so you spend just a little bit more time staring into his eyes. How you’d learned about the importance of one’s sight, and how the eyes are the doors to the soul, he’d opened his soul completely to yours. And it was so beautiful and so easy to read.

You’d learned a lot of things, like how to throw pebbles in the ‘right way’ to the river. You’d learned how to lie to your friends so you could go see him, late at night when the moon is the only light shining above yours. You’d learned that mistakes aren’t the end of the world and that you actually are very good at baseball.

Tom had shown you how to distinguish between a guitar and a bass, not sure why you’d always confused them. And that it’s okay to sometimes leave the clothes on the floor if you’re rushing to get somewhere. Or that sometimes the clothes end up on the floor because you’re both… rushing. That it’s okay to have breakfast for dinner and that you can have dessert before the actual main course. He’d also taught you that facetime isn’t as good as being together but it’s enough to listen to each other’s voice. He had shown you that it’s okay to laugh at sex and that sometimes it’s not as romantic as it should be, that sometimes it is silly and other times it’s passionate. That it’s okay sometimes to say what you want to say before thinking.

And you’d shown him how to enjoy a bad movie, or how to tie his shoes this other way, and that though the night kept changing, and you both kept growing and learning, you were still the same. You taught him that it’s okay not to know the lyrics and still sing the song, and that if you add a pinch of salt to the cookies you’re baking it’d make it sweeter.

You’d taught him that Chinese legend. The red thread.

“It is like an invisible red cord or thread which connects you to that one person you’re destined to meet, your true love,” you had told him. “In China it’s around your ankle, I believe… In Japan, male’s thumb and the female's little fingers, and in Korea are both little fingers.”

He’d once, jokingly but not really wrapped around both of your pinkies a red thread.

“I made it visible, see?” He had said.

“You’re an idiot,” you had chuckled.

“What happens if you’re apart?” He had wondered.

“It’s supposed to bring you back together, it…”

“Can I pull it, if I ever need you?”

“I guess,” you chuckled. “I’m not sure.”

“Can it break?” He asked.

“I… don’t know,” you had confessed with fear.

Because you didn’t know. Maybe yours had been broken.

But you kept teaching him things, and he kept teaching you other things. You’d also taught him not to never mistake salt for sugar to add to your tea.

“They’re both a white powder I thought-”

“Yeah I can think of more white powders that would’ve also gotten us in trouble.”

You’d taught him that as long as you were his and he was yours, you’d shine as bright as stars. He’d shown you how to say ‘I love you’ to someone for the first time. Because you had, when you least had expected it, just about a weeks after you’d first dated.

You wanted to order something for dinner, that one night, he was on his laptop ordering food, you were cuddled against him reading who knows what.

“Is it weird I want more fortune cookies? Would you be weirded out if someone was asking for more fortune cookies?” He had asked.

You chuckled. “To get more fortune?”

“To get more cookies, darling,” he had grinned. “Can’t be more fortunate than this, I am dating you, ain’t I?”

“Very fortunate” you chuckled as he was ordering.

“How much food would I have to order for them to send us like ten cookies?” He asked, mostly to himself.

You laughed, “why don’t you bake them yourself?”

“We both know we suck at baking, baby,” he reminded you as he kept adding food to the cart. “Besides we wouldn’t get the fortune paper thing, I like those as book separators.”

He did use them as book separators and liked to randomly leave them on your nightstand

“Why do you want them? We could buy them next week at the supermarket

“They’re so good, darling and it’s not the same, they’re not fate then.”

You only smiled, watching him.

“Why don’t they sell like… the cookies?” He asked again.

“They do—“

“No, not but like at the restaurants because they choose which ones to give you, that is fate,” he continued. “Or like… Okay is this enough food so they think we are like ten people here? Like if I order enough food they’ll send it to us, right?” He kept rambling to himself. “Like okay, we’d have to eat this for a while but baby look at the bright side we’d have more cookies and that would make me happy because I like the cookies, plus I wouldn’t steal your notes to use as a book separator and we could have like enough fortune things to… I don’t know wrap presents with.”

And it had come out, so easily, “I love you,” you’d said without thinking about it, interrupting his rambling. You’d felt it for long enough, first time you’d ever kissed him but somehow you’d never said it.

And he had stopped worrying for the cookies suddenly, as he only looked at you, he hadn’t been prepared. He had only opened his mouth with surprise. He wasn’t as hungry anymore.

“I--” he hadn’t said it back.

“No, I’m sorry, no, no I’m sorry,” you gulped and sat up to get away. “No I didn’t--No, I don’t… I mean, no, yeah I do, I’m… Look you don’t have to… say it…I don’t love—No, I do, I do—“

He had smiled and took a deep breath, with surprise.

You walked away. “No, baby, sorry—Tom, I’m sorry you don’t have to say anything I’ll just—Yeah.”

You had tried to walk away but he had tackled you from behind, and turned you around to kiss you in his very way. “I love you, too.”

And the food had eventually arrived after kissing for god knows how long and you remembered opening that one fortune cookie.

“Love, because is the only true adventure.”

And it had been. The greatest adventure of your life, and it hadn’t been one of those crazy adventures. It had been small, but great. Good enough He’d forgotten one thing, he’d never shown you how to get over him. How to live without him.

And you had said it, how it would never be too late for him to come back. He wouldn’t, you know. But he knew it, you’d always have each other.

You had read about twin flames. How the compatibility and energy is so strong, so, so strong, so meant to be. An intense soul connection, sometimes called a "mirror soul," thought to be a person's other half. A same soul. And at times it did feel like it.

But it doesn’t have to be forever.

It should’ve been, though.

But Tom was easily scared, and maybe he’d felt like his life with you would be forever, and you didn’t blame him for being scared. Finding the love of your life doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll have to spend your whole life with them.

“I’m always going to love you,” he had said. You knew he wouldn’t.

But he’d never leave your heart or your mind, no matter what, day, noon, midnight. He was always there, but he had moved on. Or had he, really?

He hadn’t. But both of you had a very different version of the relationship. He had waited for you at that willow tree, you’d waited for him at that café. And it had been like that for a while, both of you waiting at the wrong place, at the wrong time.

He did miss you, very, very much and he also couldn’t get over you. You didn’t know, but even when he was dating this other girl he kept going back to you. He had kept his promise, he would always love you. With every cell, with every bone on his body. With his entire soul, because it felt like it was missing its other half.

He had stopped burning when he was apart from you. No light, no nothing.

Because everything led back to you, everything was about you. And he had bumped into you several more times, you hadn’t seen him, but he’d seen you walking in the rain, and he’d seen you when he stared at himself in the mirror. He saw you in every fortune cookie he ate, or in every book separator he found. He had felt incomplete when he wasn’t with you.

And after you’d broken up, Tom had felt incredibly numb and sad, your pain combined with his. He’d always wondered why that happened how he knew how you were feeling, a hunch he’d say.

He’d always have a song stuck in his head, and he’d be thinking of you at the most random times. He’d always expect to find your lipstick stain on his mugs

He always wanted to call, he never did though. But he was there, even if you didn’t notice. Like how he’d randomly send you a coffee with your friends, asking them not to tell you it came from him, or how if he ever walked by your place, he’d clean the dust from the mailbox because he knew how much you hated when it got dirty. How he had become friends with that guy from the Chinese place you liked to order from and he’d told him to always give you extra fortune cookies.

Tom wasn’t the same when he was apart from you, he hadn’t slept, he hadn’t smiled. But he did see one bright thing because it felt like he was being pulled back to you.

He regretted breaking up because he’d been too scared to admit you were on the other side of the string. He feared it could break. But he was also scared that he would become the person he was before you, and how you probably wouldn’t like who he was before that.

He also didn’t believe in soulmates, until you came. Because he thought And he thought your connection was too strong to be a simple soulmate. His soul and yours were one.

But he’d left because he had to learn the last lesson, the one lesson you couldn’t technically teach him, and that lesson could only be taught by missing you. And damn, did he miss you.

Because no one was you, no one knew his smile like you did and no one could read him like you. Your perfume still lingered and he missed your toothbrush in his bathroom. He missed having to get your hair out of his face when you were asleep. He missed the way you’d leave your books around his house or the way that he heard you sing the wrong lyrics. Tom missed the way you’d kiss his temple when you woke up earlier than him and how you always covered him with blankets. Tom missed looking into your eyes and making you laugh by making a stupid joke, knowing you’d be the only one laughing.

He missed having you around at parties, when all of his friends were talking about things he didn’t like and he looked for you to give you that one knowing look but you weren’t there. He missed you when he got drunk, he missed you when you he woke up, when he wanted to run to you and kiss your cheek from behind. When he wanted to watch a bad movie and laugh at it, he’d miss you all the time.

Tom was gone, yes. But Tom was gone because he wasn’t with you, and he couldn’t be himself again. How could he after you?

Was there life after love?

And eventually he’d seen you, always running into you but not letting you see him because he knew it would hurt you, it hurt him too. But how many times had his shoulder not bumped into yours without you noticing because your head was low. Or how many times had he not heard your laugh across the room and seen you. You were everywhere.

And he didn’t know why he couldn’t get the courage like that one first time when he’d first asked to sit with you, that one time when he’d first kissed you. No other pair of lips deserved to be kissed after he had kissed you.

And life was pulling him back to you but he didn’t know if you’d take him. He was scared that you had moved on, but something told him you couldn’t. He somehow knew that you still loved him because he loved you too.

So he’d sit there, under that willow tree waiting for you to come back. But he was always running out of time, always having elsewhere to be. Because no one ever has time.

You did, too, always rushing and that’s why you never saw him. Until today, with that mug in your hands, watching people, couples. Soulmates. And there you were, at that cafe, waiting for him to come, near that one park with the willow tree where you’d first kissed.

Wishing he would come.

But life is a strange thing, and maybe it had been the fact that the foam on your cappuccino had spoken to you, or the fact that you’d still kept that one fortune paper on the back of your phone, hidden underneath the case, or the fact that you had almost poured salt into your coffee instead of sugar, or maybe it had been that thread around your finger or maybe a coincidence by itself, but somehow you’d left that café that day, willing to go to that willow tree for the first time.

Because no one ever truly has time, but he had pulled the string.

tagging some other people who might like this: tag list @spidxrparkxr @mukesnugget @anxiousdesignerdancerbandlover @happywolves81 @happywolves81 @applenter @silver-winter-wolf @applenter @claredolphinbear24 @bookgirlunicorn @tomshufflepuff @avengersgirllorianna @nevertoofarfromivar @saintlavrents @herofiennestiffinashardinscott. @tomzfrog @dark-infernal-instruments @awkwardfangirl2014 @spideysimpossiblegirl @tomzfrog @xapham @awkwardfangirl2014 @xapham @tomhollandisagod @xapham @laurfangirl424 @vintageroses1014516 @cinnamon-roll-peter @the-lost-fairy-tale @the-lost-fairy-tale @lala-florez @lala-florez @ilcveyou3000 @xxtomxo @socorroann @muffinmari25 @cassindeansass @rogers-obsessed-barnes-curious @southsidespideyy @southsidespideyy @nathaliabakes @nathaliabakes @embrace-themagic @embrace-themagic @sanniegirl1214 @sanniegirl1214 @softholand @fairytaleparker @underooling @griff1ndor @griff1ndor @thatweirdomimic @avengersgirllorianna @reginalaufeyson-holmes @better-daisy @yeahimcrying @allmonstersxarehuman @spider-manholland @better-daisy @itstaskeen @georiaang @sebxstianbarnes @kissingtrutharchives @snoopy3000 @prettymessygurl @spideyparkerstark @fanfic-4-you @lexshead @officiallyunofficialperson @mannien @whitewolfandthefox @melodiclovesong @bizzlepotter @bizzlepotter @localfangirlx @acceptance07 @witchythingscore @witchythingscore @swaggyspiderman @localfangirlx @queengemsworld @liberty0123 @stiles-banshees @itsjusttor @stretchkingblog97 @annathesillyfriend @itsjusttor @tomshufflepuff @thewayilookatbacon @petersdiaries @emjaywrites @emjaywrites @thewayilookatbacon @jungeunave @emjaywrites @ispiderdudei @ispiderdudei @literalfsngirltrash @quacksonhq @it-is-rebel-owl-ma-dudes @desir-ae @desir-ae @desir-ae @peterporkpie @peterporkpie @smolpeachees @thenoddingbunny-blog @quackeroos @quackeroos @spideyyeet @astoldbydanid @astoldbydanid @hollandcreep @hollandcreep @astoldbydanid @hollandcreep @rebekkah4766 @farfromtommy @rubberducky-jrr @oh-whatabeautiful-parker @coveredinthemessimade @shameless-self-promo-of-a-shrub @sweetiesangster @thatdamjoke @annathesillyfriend @annathesillyfriend @witchythingscore @witchythingscore @bookworm06 @bookworm06 @lala-florez @lala-florez @chaoticpete @bookworm06 @peeterparkr @chaoticpete @shezzalocked @cosmichollands-blog @frenchfrostpudding @badbitchydecisions @w4ybefor3nir4na jj @saintlavrents @americaswritings @ilovepeterparker13 @lukesbabylon @lukesbabylon @iamaunicorn4704 @simple-things @simple-things @sip-portteam @herondale-snow-carstairs @tony-starks-ego @quaksonhehe0 @stargazerholland @marvelslut-musicalnerd @hotrubycrab @sovereignparker @peter-parker-tony-stank-trash @belleknows @mysticalinsomniac @nycparkers @nycparkers @anythingthaticareabout @spn-assemble-seven @tanyalooovesyou @somethingchaotic @heartofholland @peachybloomss @youcompletemesk @emyla3305 @emyla3305–butt @hollandstanevans @farfromtommy @farfromtommy @southbeachfeeling @eridanuswave @tonguetiedholland @wolvesofthewinter @quacksonobrien @dcnerd98 @ifntelyinspirit @electraheart-3174 @julialucena5 @itsmilamawson @harryssuckz @harryssuckz @xstarbae @xstarbae @xstarbae @peterbparkerrwrites @averyfosterthoughts @darethedragonknights @hannahholland1811 @justanamesstuff @emyla3305 @abbiefangirls247 @onewithnomightypowers @itscaminow @youllbmineandillbeyoursbabelove @hotrubycrab @spidey-holland-96 @awkwardnesshabitat @geminiparkers@primadonnasdream @slytherinambitious @maybecharming @where-art-thau-romeo @viagracex @viagracex @sspidermanss @pcterparxer @whatevshollandarchive @aleyabee @aleyabee @lovewolfspirit @viagracex @xallyouneedislovexx @panicattheeverywherekid @pcterparxer @thehauntingofmymind @redhoodparker @redhoodparker @cakepopcriss @allthisfortommy @aleyabee @perspectiveparker @let-me-luve-you @xxpeachyxo @m-a-r-i-n-t-p @superstarchick @notjustpenandpaper @morbiddanvers @runaway3 @runaway3 @runaway3 @lu-morningstar @th0ttie4tommy @riasaurusrex @riasaurusrex @frustratingpaperclip @readheadwriter @geesquariid @noxceleste @noxceleste @peterparker-rickybowen-mybabies @witchything @peterporkpie @bookworm06 @panicattheeverywherekid @imthefloor @ohmyquackson @seaveyheartful @wangtan-boys @obiwanownsmyass @sadisticfries @not-some-docile-teenager @galaxystern08 @lovemarvelousfics @tomzfrog @calsthomas @thearchersupremacy @nikitajackson @dayazenn @the-fandom-life-forever @just-kickin-ass @quaksonhehe @dummiesshort @samaratheweirdo @fr3akingphantrash @i-love-superhero @mandeeleebeebee @captainamirica @dramaticdiva @halparkebitch @uglypastels

324 notes · View notes

inevitably-johnlocked · 3 years

Text

Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 6

Hi , do you got any fluffy johnlock with cuddling

(submitted by here-4-tha-ship)

Anonymous asked: hiii got any johnlock fics where sherlock wants a hug but he feels embarrassed to ask john? thank you sm <3

—–

Hi Lovelies!! I sure do! And enough to do a new list too!! So thank you, people don’t ask for this enough these days hahhah! Hope you enjoy!!

See also:

Hugs & Cuddles and Tooth-Rotting Fluff (Pt. 2)

Hugs & Cuddles Pt. 2 /…/

…/ Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 3 /…

Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 4

Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 5

A Better Fate Than Wisdom by flawedamythyst (G, 1,339 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, John’s Sexuality Crisis, Pining Sherlock, Happy Ending, Fluff) – Nearly four hours pass between their first kiss and their second.

Evermore by SosoHolmesWatson (G, 2,068 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4, 5-Year-Old Rosie, Love Confessions, Song Fic, Parentlock, Oblivious John, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Disney Songs, Beauty and the Beast) – For the past years, John and Sherlock have lived at Baker Street again, raising Rosie together--as friends and nothing more. Ever since the little girl has watched her first Disney movie, she is obsessed with princesses. When John comes home one day, he finds his friend and his daughter in the middle of a reenactment of her current favourite. Part 1 of Made of Music

Living Musical by VeeTheRee (G, 4,149 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Hobbies, Summer, Song Fic, POV Sherlock, Painting, Play Fighting, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Love Declarations, Hair Petting, Promise of Forever) – A one-shot of John and Sherlock being domestic during summer. There is paint, fluff, and music from Imagine Dragons, namely from the album 'Speak To Me', specific song in this one-shot is 'Living Musical'. Part 1 of the Happy Fluffy Johnlock Time series

Date Night by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 4,451 w., 1 Ch. || Anxious / Worried Sherlock, Caring John, Schmoopy Fluff, Fidget Cube, Baking / Cooking, Date Night, Established Relationship, POV Sherlock Holmes, Understanding John, Grumpy Sherlock, John’s Bum, Kisses, Hugs, Domestic Fluff, Touching, Hair Petting, Light Humour) – It's John and Sherlock's first Date Night as an official couple and Sherlock needs it to be PERFECT. Mrs Hudson helps. Part 7 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.

There's So Much Labour Just in Breathing Lately by Susan (E, 12,708 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF / Mentions of S3 Events, Romance, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Grieving John, Mutual Pining, Meddling Mycroft, Therapy, Ambiguous Hopeful Ending, Infidelity) – The dreams he hated most – the ones that left him a sweating, shaking mess when he woke – were the ones in which Sherlock was just Sherlock. Laughing or drinking tea. Sitting across the table from him at Angelo’s eating pasta. Trailing his open hand behind him on the way to the bedroom. “C’mon, John. I’m about to have my way with you.”

holding steady by darcylindbergh (E, 12,724 w., 4 Ch. || Post S4, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Growing Old, Gone Fishing, Mood without Plot, Soft Sherlock, Caring Sherlock, POV John Third Person, Anxious Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Touching, Feeling Old, Sherlock Worship, Crying Sherlock, Cuddles, Comforting, Introspection, Retirement, Hand Holding, Forehead Kisses, Caring John, Bed Sharing, Emotional Love Making) – Sitting on a thick wool blanket at the end of a rickety dock side-by-side, legs dangling over the edge, a styrofoam container of wet, dark dirt between them, they’re fishing. John knows what this is about. This is about finally figuring it out.

On The Fence by BeautifulFiction (T, 13,770 w., 1 Ch. || Fencing, Case Fic, First Kiss, Insecure John, Pining John, Hug, Greg Finds Out) – The murder of the King's College fencing champion leads to revelations about Sherlock's past. Will it be the point that tips them from friends to lovers, or will they remain on the fence?

The shape of the world around us by Salambo06 (E, 15,058 w., 5 Ch. || Lumberjack John / Botanist Sherlock, Different First Meeting, John Has a Beard, Light Case Fic, Flirting, First Kiss / Time, Masturbation, Love at First Sight, Horny Sherlock, John’s Bum, Bottomlock, Tenderness, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Shy Sherlock, Sexual Fantasies) – Looking through the bush, Sherlock felt his heartbeat quicken as a man passed in front of him. Sherlock frowned, trying to get a closer look despite the bush. The man was wearing a red plaid shirt rolled up to his elbows, and Sherlock couldn't take his eyes off the man’s arms. Muscular, slightly tanned with golden hairs along his forearms. For some unknown reason, Sherlock found himself imagining them around his waist, holding him tightly. Closing his eyes for the briefest second, Sherlock shook his head. Opening his eyes and looking back to where the man stood only a moment prior, he found himself alone. Great, now his only chance to find his way back to town was gone. “Why are you wearing a suit?”

A Hooligans’ Game Played By Gentlemen by scullyseviltwin (E, 15,213 w., 1 Ch. || First Time, Rugby as Foreplay, Porn with Lots of Plot, John POV, Ogling, Body Appreciation, Cranky Sherlock, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Cuddling, Touching, Heavy Petting, Blow Job, Botttomlock) – In which John wants to get back in shape, does so, joins a rugby league and has sex with Sherlock Holmes. In that order.

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

Deck the Halls by itsalwaysyou_jw (T, 31,018 w., 24 Ch. || Advent Fic / Multiple One-Shots, Assorted Tags) – One Johnlock ficlet for every day leading up to Christmas. Who is ready for pining, first kisses, established Johnlock, and everything in between? This collection of stand-alone ficlets will have it all.

Lucifer's Gardens by ampersand_ch (E, 32,679 w., 12 Ch. || GERMAN VERSION || Romance, Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Murder, Poison / Drugging, Mystery, John Undercover, Academic Club, Therapy, Rituals, Jungian Archetypes, Doctors & Physicians, Grief/Mourning, Esotericism, Hospitals, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, John Falls In Love With Another Man, Jealous Sherlock, Crying, Doctor John, Hand Holding, First Kiss/Time, Mysticism, Hugging, Touching) – John goes undercover for an investigation as a favour to Lestrade in a village in Suffolk. The events surrounding the case awaken deep-seated fears in Sherlock. While John begins to come to a realisation of what he needs in Lucifer's Gardens, Sherlock tries to find a way to reach John – in more ways than one.

Isosceles by SilentAuror (E, 56,609 w., 7 Ch. || Post-S4, POV John, Original Male Character / Sherlock Dates Another Man, Love Triangle, Jealous John, Virgin Sherlock, Sexual Coaching, Angst, Romance, Domesticity, Unrequited Feelings, Miscommunication, First Kiss/Time, For a Case, Friends With Benefits, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Spooning) – After solving a case for a major celebrity, Sherlock gets himself asked out. When John asks, he discovers that Sherlock has no intention of going, at least not until John agrees to coach him through whatever he might need to know for his date...

Lunar Landscapes by J_Baillier (M, 57,046 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || S3/TAB Fix-It, Slow Burn Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Drugs, Pain, Medical, Injury, Sherlock Whump, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Romance, Secrets, Tragedy, Trauma, BAMF John, Doctor!John, Drug Addict Sherlock, Injured Sherlock, Grieving John, Idiots In Love, Protective John, POV John Watson, PTSD Sherlock, Sherlock is a Mess, Medical Realism) – An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac.

Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction, Anxious/Insecure Sherlock, Miscommunication, Emotional Lovemaking) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #hugs and cuddles #my fic recs #fluff fics #submission

56 notes · View notes

snoopysfriendwoodstock · 3 years

Note

hellooo, loved ur post about Taylor's songwriting on evermore I think ur so right! would love for you to elaborate more on it, and on when you think her songwriting is at its worst/best 💕

hi beck!!! 💋 i think evermore suffers from a lot of what lover suffers from (evermore is my #4 album and lover is in dead LAST in my ranking i’m not comparing them like that ❤️) where taylor got so carried away by the success of folklore (where imo she really reigned herself in and only kept what was necessary) and the response to her more poetic/flowery writing that no one could tell her no when it came to writing evermore. lover is that but with 1989 where she made such a perfect pop album with no fluff, then lover she thought she could recreate 1989 but without the fear of doing it for the first time. so in folklore you’ve got this really, really beautiful writing that clearly was written and re-written but also put through a lot of scrutiny. folklore was a new venture for taylor similar to 1989 which i think made her be a lot more cautious about what she put on the album and how airtight it was. this is obviously speculation but it feels like after folklore did so well she realized this could be her new “brand” or her new “era” or whatever and suddenly evermore was so much more in your face about like her woods and witchy vibes and fantasy land or whatever and a lot of lines from the album feel like “look how good i am at figurative language! you love this dont you?” like what the fuck does “life was a willow and it bent right to your wind / but i come back stronger than a 90s trend” even MEAN. she also does thing thing where she explains her metaphors which just makes them even clunkier to try and listen to. “we were like the mall before the internet / it was the one place to be” sounds … just poorly paced? and even tho this isn’t a metaphor it’s like… isn’t that literally just “we were something don’t you think so?” i think taylor’s song writing is at its best when she’s detail oriented but leaves enough up for interpretation that it feels like an actual mineable text. i did not see the same weeks of interpretive writings on evermore as i did on folklore because it feels like she left less for us to actually explore on our own. i saw people over and over arguing about the “evergreen our group of friends / don’t think we’ll say that word again” line from champagne problems and which word she was talking about but isn’t that the best part? it feels so much more like a stream of consciousness than a carefully crafted line which lets you get drawn into the world of the song. i love the little details in marjorie, i always end up crying during the “the autumn chill that wakes me up / you loved the amber skies so much / long limbs and frozen swims / you always went past where our feet could touch” part because it’s those little specificities that make you feel like you can see exactly what she’s seeing. the coney island/the 1 comparison works here too since that little question, drawing the audience in with the second person POV in the song, just has more emotional appeal in my opinion than a really awkward metaphor. taylor has always been at her best with diary entry level honesty but i think lately she’s been replacing that with these easter eggs that just feel a little cheap? the diary style writing (which has matured into the honest fiction of folklore/evermore) worked because it gave you an insight into taylor that helped you really understand her side and her feelings whereas the easter eggs of rep/lover make you use your already existing knowledge of taylor to gain anything from it. that’s why while i think the bridge of coney island has some great writing, she gets away with not really writing anything interesting because she depends on the fans and their interest in her to fill in the gaps. that’s not good writing it’s just a parasocial relationship. but when it comes to cardigan/betty/august she’s given us these characters that we knew nothing about but people have been able to grow attached to because of that ability she has to craft characters and narratives, something she’s been doing for herself the last 13 years and why she’s able to over and over depict herself convincingly as an underdog to her fans.

BASICALLY folklore showcases the best of taylor’s songwriting by having her turn what she’s been doing for herself since the beginning of her career into fictional narratives rather than mine her own life or depend on her fans to find meaning out of her own experiences. evermore has some great moments because she uses some of those same techniques to story-tell and add lush details to her writing but she also does this thing she tends to do where once a project is successful she tries to center her identity around it in an attempt to replicate it and ends up totally missing the mark by not reigning herself in.

#this is long and i don’t think it’s very coherent but oh well! ❤️#long post

46 notes · View notes

path-of-my-childhood · 3 years

Text

Aaron Dessner on How His Collaborative Chemistry With Taylor Swift Led to “Evermore”

By: Claire Shaffer for Rolling Stone Date: December 18th 2020

Taylor Swift and Aaron Dessner didn’t expect to make another record so soon after Folklore. As they were putting the final touches on Swift’s album this past summer, the two artists had been collaborating remotely on possible songs for Big Red Machine, Dessner’s music project with Justin Vernon of Bon Iver (who also dueted with Swift on the Folklore track “Exile”). Dessner recalls:

“I think I’d written around 30 of those instrumentals in total. So when I started sharing them with Taylor over the months that we were working on Folklore, she got really into it, and she wrote two songs to some of that music.”

One was “Closure,” an experimental electronic track in 5/4 time signature that was built over a staccato drum kit. The other song was “Dorothea,” a rollicking, Americana piano tune. The more Dessner listened to them, the more he realized that they were continuations of Folklore‘s characters and stories. But the real turning point came soon after Folklore‘s surprise release in late July, when Dessner wrote a musical sketch and named it “Westerly,” after the town in Rhode Island where Swift owns the house previously occupied by Rebekah Harkness.

“I didn’t really think she would write something to it — sometimes I’ll name songs after my friends’ hometowns or their babies, just because I write a lot of music and you have to call it something, and then I’ll send it to them. But, anyway, I sent it to her, and not long after she wrote ‘Willow’ to that song and sent it back.”

It was a moment not unlike when Swift first sent him the song “Cardigan” back in the spring, where both she and Dessner felt an instant creative spark — and then just kept writing. Before long, they were creating even more songs with Vernon, Jack Antonoff, Dessner’s brother Bryce, and “William Bowery” (the pseudonym of Swift’s boyfriend Joe Alwyn) for what would eventually lead to Folklore‘s wintry sister record, Evermore.

Even more spontaneous than the album that preceded it, Evermore features more eclectic production alongside Swift’s continued project of character-driven songwriting, and includes an even wider group of collaborators, like Haim and Dessner’s own band the National. Dessner spoke to Rolling Stone about the album’s experimentation, how it was recorded during the making of the doc The Long Pond Studio Sessions, and how he sees his collaboration with Swift continuing in the future.

When did you realize this was going to end up being another album?

It was after we’d written several songs, seven or eight or nine. Each one would happen, and we would both be in this sort of disbelief of this weird alchemy that we had unleashed. The ideas were coming fast and furiously and were just as compelling as anything on Folklore, and it felt like the most natural thing in the world. At some point, Taylor wrote “Evermore” with William Bowery, and then we sent it to Justin, who wrote the bridge, and all of a sudden, that’s when it started to become clear that there was a sister record. Historically, there are examples of this, of records which came in close succession that I love — certain Dylan records, Kid A and Amnesiac. I secretly fell in love with the idea that this was part of the same current, and that these were two manifestations that were interrelated. And with Taylor, I think it just became clear to her what was happening. It really picked up steam, and at some point, there were 17 songs — because there are two bonus tracks, which I love just as much.

Evermore definitely sounds more experimental than Folklore, and has more variety — you have these electronic songs that sound like Bon Iver or Big Red Machine, but you also have the closest thing Taylor has written to country songs in the last decade. Was there a conscious effort on her part to branch out more with this album?

Sonically, the ideas were coming from me more. But I remember when I wrote the piano track to “Tolerate It,” right before I sent it to her, I thought, This song is intense. It’s in 10/8, which is an odd time signature. And I did think for a second, “Maybe I shouldn’t send it to her, she won’t be into it.” But I sent it to her, and it conjured a scene in her mind, and she wrote this crushingly beautiful song to it and sent it back. I think I cried when I first heard it. But it just felt like the most natural thing, you know? There weren’t limitations to the process. And in these places where we were pushing into more experimental sounds or odd time signatures, that just felt like part of the work.

It was really impressive to me that she could tell these stories as easily in something like “Closure” as she could in a country song like “Cowboy Like Me.” Obviously, “Cowboy Like Me” is much more familiar, musically. But to me, she’s just as sharp and just as masterful in her craft in either of those situations. And also, just in terms of what we were interested in, there is a wintry nostalgia to a lot of the music that was intentional on my part. I was leaning into the idea that this was fall and winter, and she’s talked about that as well, that Folklore feels like spring and summer to her and Evermore is fall and winter. So that’s why you hear sleigh bells on “Ivy,” or why some of the imagery in the songs is wintery.

I can hear that in the guitar on “‘Tis the Damn Season,” too. It almost sounds like the National with that very icy guitar line.

I mean, that is literally like, me in my most natural state. [laughs] If you hand me a guitar, that’s what it sounds like when I start playing it. People associate that sound with the National, but that’s just because I finger-pick an electric guitar like that a lot — if you solo the guitar on “Mr. November,” it’s not unlike that.

That song, to me, has always felt nostalgic or like some sort of longing. And the song that Taylor wrote is so instantly relatable, you know, “There’s an ache in you put there by the ache in me.” I remember when she sang that to me in my kitchen — she had written it overnight during The Long Pond Studio Sessions, actually.

Did she record all her Evermore vocals at Long Pond while you were filming the Studio Sessions documentary?

Not all of them, but most of them. She stayed after we were done filming and then we recorded a lot. It was crazy because we were getting ready to make that film, but at the same time, these songs were accumulating. And so we thought, “Hmm, I guess we should just stay and work.”

On “Closure,” there are parts where Taylor’s vocals are filtered through the Messina, which is this vocal modifier that Justin Vernon uses a lot in his work with Bon Iver. How were you able to modify her vocals with it, if she was never in the same room as Justin?

I went to see Justin at one point — that’s the one trip I’ve made — and we worked together at his place on stuff. He plays the drums on “Cowboy Like Me” and “Closure,” and he plays guitar and banjo and sings on “Ivy,” and sings on “Marjorie” and “Evermore.” And then we processed Taylor’s vocals through his Messina chain together. He was really deeply involved in this record, even more so than the last record. He’s always been such a huge help to me, and not just by getting him to play stuff or sing stuff — I can also send him things and get his feedback. We’ve done a ton of work together, but we have different perspectives and different harmonic brains. He obviously has his own studio set up at home, but it was nice to be able to see him and work on this stuff.

“No Body, No Crime” is also really interesting, just because I don’t think I’ve ever heard you produce a song like that. How did this country murder ballad featuring Haim end up on the record?

Taylor wrote that one alone and sent me a voice memo of her playing guitar — she wrote it on this rubber-bridge guitar that I got for her. It’s the same kind I play on “Invisible String.” So she wrote “No Body, No Crime” and sent me a voice memo of it, and then I started building on that. It’s funny, because the music I’ve listened to the most in my life are things that are more like that — roots music, folk music, country music, old-school rock & roll, the Grateful Dead. It’s not really the sound of the National or other things I’ve done, but it feels like a warm blanket.

That song also had a lot of my friends on it — Josh Kaufman, who played harmonica on “Betty,” also plays harmonica on this one and some guitar. JT Bates plays the drums on that song — he’s an amazing jazz guitarist, but he also has an incredible feel [for rhythm] when it comes to a song like that. He also played the drums on “Dorothea.” And then Taylor had specific ideas from the beginning about references and how she wanted it to feel, and that she wanted the Haim sisters to sing on it. We had them record the song with Ariel Reichshaid, they sent that from L.A., and then we put it together when Taylor was here [at Long Pond]. They’re an incredible band, and it was another situation where we were like, “Well, this happened.” It felt like this weird little rock & roll history anecdote.

You also brought on the National to record “Coney Island.” What was that process like, where you’re recording a song with your band that’s for a different artist?

I had been working on a bunch of music with my brother [Bryce Dessner], some of which we were sending to Taylor also. At that stage, “Coney Island” was all the music except the drums. And as I was writing it, I don’t think I was ever thinking, “This sounds like the National or this sounds like Big Red Machine or this sounds like something totally different.” But Taylor and William Bowery wrote this incredible song, and we first recorded it with just her vocals. It has this really beautiful arc to the story, and I think it’s one of the strongest, lyrically and musically. But listening to the words, we all collectively realized that this does feel like the most related to the National — it almost feels like a story Matt [Berninger] might tell, or I could hear Bryan [Devendorf] playing the drum part.

So we started talking about how it would be cool to get the band, and I called Matt and he was excited for it. We got Bryan to play drums and we got Scott [Devendorf] to play bass and a pocket piano, and Bryce helped produce it. It’s weird, because it does really feel like Taylor, obviously, since she and William Bowery wrote all the words, but it also feels like a National song in a good way. I love how Matt and Taylor sound together. And it was nice because we haven’t played a show in a year, and I don’t know when we will again. You kind of lose track of each other, so in a way, it was nice to reconnect.

When working on Folklore, you had to keep most of your collaborators in the dark about who you were working with. What was the process like this time around, now that everyone knew it was Taylor? How did you keep it a secret?

It was hard. We had to be secretive because of how much people are consuming every shred of information they can find about her, and that’s been an oppressive reality she’s had to deal with. But the fact that no one in the public knew allowed for more freedom of enjoying the process. A lot of the same musicians that played on Folklore played on Evermore. Again, it was a situation where I didn’t tell them what it was, and they couldn’t hear her vocals, but I think a lot of them assumed, especially because of the level of secrecy. [laughs] But as funny as this is, I think everyone who’s been involved has been grateful for these records to play on this year and is proud of them. It kind of just doesn’t happen, to make two great records in such a short period of time. Everyone’s a little bit like, “How did this happen?” and nobody takes it for granted.

Taylor has mentioned that you recorded “Happiness” just a week before the album was released. Was that something you guys wrote, recorded, and produced all at the last minute, or was it something you’d been sitting on for a while before you finally cracked the code?

There were two songs like that. One is a bonus track called “Right Where You Left Me,” and the other one was “Happiness,” which she wrote literally days before we were supposed to master. That’s similar to what happened with Folklore, with “The 1” and “Hoax,” which she wrote days before. We mixed all the tracks here, and it’s a lot to mix 17 songs, it’s like a Herculean task. And it was funny, because I walked into the studio and Jon Low, our engineer here, was mixing and had been working the whole time toward this. And I came in and he’s in the middle of mixing and I was like, “There are two more songs.” And he looked at me like, “…We’re not gonna make it.” Because it does take a lot of time to work out how to finish them.

But she sang those remotely. And the music for “Happiness” is something that I had been working on since last year. I had sang a little bit on it, too — I thought it was a Big Red Machine song, but then she loved the instrumental and ended up writing to it. Same with the other one, “Right Where You Left Me” — it was something I had written right before I went to visit Justin, because I thought, “Maybe we’ll make something when we’re together there.” And Taylor had heard that and wrote this amazing song to it. That is a little bit how she works — she writes a lot of songs, and then at the very end she sometimes writes one or two more, and they often are important ones.

My favorite song on the album is “Marjorie,” and I feel like, for most artists, the instinct would be to present a song like that as a somber piano ballad. But “Marjorie” has this lively electronic beat that runs through it — it literally sounds alive. How did you come up with that?

It’s interesting, because with “Marjorie,” that’s a track that actually existed for a while, and you can hear elements of it behind the song “Peace.” This weird drone that you hear on “Peace,” if you pay attention to the bridge of “Marjorie,” you’ll hear a little bit of that in the distance. Some of what you hear is from my friend Jason Treuting playing percussion, playing these chord sticks, that he actually made for a piece that my brother wrote called “Music for Wooden Strings.” They’re playing these chord sticks, and you can hear those same chord sticks on the National song “Quiet Light.”

I collect a lot of rhythmic elements like that, and all kinds of other sounds, and I give them to my friend Ryan Olson, who’s a producer from Minnesota and has been developing this crazy software called Allovers Hi-Hat Generator. It can take sounds, any sounds, and split them into identifiable sound samples, and then regenerate them in randomized patterns that are weirdly very musical. There’s a lot of new Big Red Machine songs that use those elements. But I’ll go through it and find little parts that I like and loop them. That’s how I made the backing rhythm of “Marjorie.” Then I wrote a song to it, and Taylor wrote to that. In a weird way, it’s one of the most experimental songs on the album — it doesn’t sound that way, but when you pick apart the layers underneath it, it’s pretty interesting.

I do have to ask: How did you come to find out about William Bowery’s real identity as Joe Alwyn? Or did you know all along?

I guess I can say now that I’ve sort of known all along — I was just being careful. Although we never really explicitly talked about it. But I do think it’s been really special to see a number of songs on these albums that they wrote together. William plays the piano on “Evermore,” actually. We recorded that remotely. That was really important to me and to them, to do that, because he also wrote the piano part of “Exile,” but on the record, it’s me playing it because we couldn’t record him easily. But this time, we could. I just think it’s an important and special part of the story.

Do you have a personal favorite song or a moment that you’re proudest of?

“‘Tis the Damn Season” is a really special song to me for a number of reasons. When I wrote the music to it, which was a long time ago, I remember thinking that this is one of my favorite things I’ve ever made, even though it’s an incredibly simple musical sketch. But it has this arc to it, and there’s this simplicity in the minimalism of it and the kind of drum programming in there, and I always loved the tone of that guitar. When Taylor played the track and sang it to me in my kitchen, that was a highlight of this whole time. That track felt like something I have always loved and could have just stayed music, but instead, someone of her incredible storytelling ability and musical ability took it and made something much greater. And it’s something that we can all relate to. It was a really special moment, not unlike how it felt when she wrote “Peace,” but even more so.

Do you see this collaboration with Taylor continuing onward, to more albums or Big Red Machine projects?

It’s kind of the thing where I have so many musicians in my life that I’ve grown close to, and make things with, and are just part of my life. And I’ve rarely had this kind of chemistry with anyone in my life — to be able to write together, to make so many beautiful songs together in such a short period of time. Inevitably, I think we will continue to be in each other’s artistic and personal lives. I don’t know exactly what the next form that will take, but certainly, it will continue.

I do think this story, this era, has concluded, and I think in such a beautiful way with these sister records — it does kind of feel like there’s closure to that. But she’s definitely been very helpful and engaged with Big Red Machine, and just in general. She feels like another incredible musician that I’ve gotten to know and am lucky to have in my life. It’s this whole community that moves forward and takes risks and, hopefully, there will be other records that appear in the future.

#cute #Aaron Dessner #interview #about taylor #taylor swift #Rolling Stone magazine #making of #evermore album #evermore era

247 notes · View notes

giggles-and-freckles · 3 years

Text

my fic masterlist

decided to do this for my own sake more than anyone else’s because sometimes I have to make sure the idea I get at 3am isn’t one I’ve already written hehe. anyway, a lot of these are on my ao3, but I’m also going to try and track down some of my TuMbLr-eXcLuSiVe fics, too. I’ll update this as often as I remember (so, uhhh–)

In-Progress: Not On A Consistent Updating Schedule Bc Abi is a Mess ™

midst of the mind – Anakin has always had a pretty good understanding of his feelings, even if he's not particularly disciplined in acting on them. But things surrounding the Chancellor seem to be off and Anakin's determined to get to the bottom of it. With a little help from his friends.(or: fix-it ROTS fic where Ani, Obi, and Padmé take down the Chancellor one fake smile and late-night tea party at a time)

evermore – "dreamscapes and tragedies and epic tales of love lost and found" within the lives of our favourite space fam. (or: TAYLOR SWIFT LITERALLY OWNS MY SOUL, OKAY?) (unrelated one-shots based on taylor swift songs ha)

filling the gaps – after the horror of Naboo, Obi-Wan has flipped from Padawan to having a Padawan in a matter of hours and he's not sure how much longer he can pretend like he's okay. thankfully, this one spunky youngling who keeps popping up in the corners of his life seems to know what to do. (or: baby!Soka unknowingly helps new Knight!Kenobi figure things out and braids his hair along the way)

Obi-Wan & Ahsoka: Best Father-Daughter Duo In The Galaxy According To Me (because let’s be honest...that’s why I’m here) (tagged: #obi & soka)

filling the gaps – *in-progress multi-chapter* after the horror of Naboo, Obi-Wan has flipped from Padawan to having a Padawan in a matter of hours and he's not sure how much longer he can pretend like he's okay. thankfully, this one spunky youngling who keeps popping up in the corners of his life seems to know what to do. (or: baby!Soka unknowingly helps new Knight!Kenobi figure things out and braids his hair along the way)

playing catch – Ahsoka finds an old friend on Tatooine and has lots of questions. they cry a lot. obi-wan tells some white lies. they get the hugs they need. (Obi-Wan & Ahsoka reunite on Tatooine)

all too young – during a bout of insomnia while on Onderon, Ahsoka gets some advice and insight about her Master. (or Obi-Wan hears Ahsoka laugh for the first time and they get to have a snuggle and he absolutely spends the entire next day training the rebels trying not to cry thinking about it every dang time he sees her.)

hologram heart-to-hearts – we see Obi-Wan and Ahsoka have a conversation via hologram in the final season of tcw, but what if there had been...more?(three-parter) (basically Obi and Soka keep in touch after she leaves the Order and there’s...a lot of emotions involved)

little love – a sort of follow-up to hologram heart-to hearts; Ahsoka sticks her nose into the wrong Alliance meeting and discovers a certain Jedi is alive and on Tatooine of all places, so she places a long-distance call.

bad days – Ahsoka tries to squeeze out of her Grand Master exactly what happened on Mortis. and, as always, Obi-Wan is powerless to deny her anything, no matter how painful that truth may be.

sleeping with monsters – Ahsoka is having a hard time sleeping after her time on Felucia, so Obi-Wan offers a solution.

chance meeting – Obi-Wan is up late researching for his Master in the archives when a certain sneeze–and pair of big blue eyes–catch his attention.

‘drooping eyelids’ prompt fill – Ahsoka and Obi-Wan have a conversation about attachment while Anakin’s missing. they (plus Anakin) get some platonic cuddles.

‘dancing’ prompt fill – they attend a senatorial gala without Anakin because he’s feeling grumpy grump after deception arc fall-out. Obi realises that there are still things to be thankful for.

sorrow – Ahsoka feels the full weight of loss as she clutches her Grand Master’s dead body. (deception arc FEELS!!!!)

‘I do not pretend to set people right, but I do see they are often wrong’ prompt fill – *trigger warning: death of children; Obi comforts Ahsoka after they witness an atrocity of the highest order.

the silence between — Ahsoka gets assigned to the 212th as her Master recovers. Unwanted quality time with her Grand Master doesn’t go as planned.

untitled ‘Obi & Ani role reversal au’ ficlet — Padawan Obi-Wan pays a visit to his best pal Ahsoka in the crèche.

‘falling asleep on each other’s shoulder’ prompt fill – the summary says it all. fluff!

'I don’t wanna die’ – Obi-Wan comforts Ahsoka in her pain. *tw: implied major character death

‘I made tea’ – Anakin is off-world so it’s up to Obi-Wan to take care of his sick grand-padawan.

sorry for the soup – post-deception arc. Ahsoka stops by Obi-Wan’s quarters to check-in.

Obi-Wan & Anakin: The Early Years (tagged: #obi & ani)

figuring it out – Anakin learns waking Obi-Wan up can sometimes be a good thing and Obi-Wan learns that maybe everything's going to be okay. (padawan!ani & new dad knight!kenobi)

if I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more – Anakin overhears a conversation he wasn’t meant to hear and lashes out in response. lots of hurt is uncovered and Obi-Wan hears some hard truths from his Padawan. angst, angst, angst...but with a hug.

reading lessons – the team takes a trip to the archives to find some reading material. Anakin is adorably insecure.

cold – Obi-Wan and Anakin have their first solo mission, but in typical Kenobi & Skywalker fashion, it does not go as planned. Exasperated Obi-Wan and Won't-Shut-Up Anakin are put to the test by deep space and a completely out-of-fuel ship. (or some more fluff where padawan!ani and new knight!kenobi get to try and figure out how the heck this master-padawan thing WORKS. hint: it's not easy!)

playing hooky – angel baby Anakin breaks Obi-Wan's heart and it's not for the last time...womp wooooomp.

like you – sweet, angel baby Ani gives himself a haircut and Obi-Wan deals with the aftermath. (I’m copying and pasting most of these summaries directly from ao3 and cracking up because I called Anakin a sweet angel baby in two in a ROW hahah)

fun? – the Jedi Council gives Obi-Wan his newest orders as a young Jedi Knight and he struggles to understand them. he was instructed to take his new Padawan and...have...fun?

go away/please stay – Obi-Wan has been disappearing for solo missions more and more often and Anakin's starting to wonder if it's more than just on request of the Council. (or: can you say TEEN ANGST!)

‘forehead kisses’ prompt fill – Anakin stumbles upon his Master having quite the nightmare, so he handles it the way his mom always handled his own nightmares. with patience and affection.

unnamed NAP TIME fic – Obi-Wan gets home from a solo mission early to find his bed occupied.

‘sweets’ prompt fill – Anakin gets a little ambitious with his choco-ball indulgence.

‘fuzzy socks’ prompt fill – years after arriving at the Temple, Anakin still hasn’t quite adjusted to the cold. Obi-Wan gets him a gift to help. (really just an excuse for some obi ani banter)

‘snowball fight’ prompt fill – Anakin takes his boredom to the next level, much to his Master’s chagrin.

untitled Anakin sickfic bc I’m not feeling very creative right now – the team goes on a mission but Anakin gets sick. Obi-Wan is ultimate mother hen and Anakin makes an observation.

got germs – sickficlet where both of our best boys are sick.

you’re okay – just some classic protective parent!Obi-Wan and teenaged son!Anakin post disaster.

‘you lied to me’ – angstpril day 13. Anakin really wants to go to Ilum and make his lightsaber...but is met with disappointment.

random sickfic – because we all know Anakin is the most annoying sick person in the world.

don’t struggle – the ship is crashing, as usual. but this time, Anakin’s seatbelt is stuck. *tw: implied major character deaths

relic – sith!Obi au. *tw: major character death

aspectabund – Anakin’s eyes betray him and his Master.

Obi-Wan & Anakin: Brotp But Also Idiots Who Don’t Know How To Communicate (still tagged #obi & ani)

define ‘attachment’ – while the dads esteemed Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker wait for Ahsoka to wake up, they talk about attachment, worry, and that time Ani caused an accidental security breech at the Temple.

favourites – Obi-Wan has been tasked with telling Anakin of his special assignment to keep an eye on the Chancellor, but he gets sappy and sentimental in the process because these conversations are hard.

after all these years – Obi-Wan tries to talk to Anakin, but it doesn't go well. does this sound familiar OR WHAT? (post-decpetion arc angst)

brilliant – Anakin is having a difficult time adjusting to his new mechno-arm for one very specific reason. (the boys communicate properly in this one and even get a hug as a treat!)

sober words said aloud – Anakin's meeting with the Council is interrupted by his highly intoxicated–and wildly affectionate–Master. (crack fic turned fluff)

‘you’ve been crying, I can tell’ prompt fill – Anakin makes the mistake of checking in on his Master after a particularly grueling mission. it doesn’t go well. (or: Obi-Wan loses his sh!t)

going somewhere? – Obi-Wan catches Anakin on his way out for a midnight rendezvous with a certain Senator. Anakin makes a quick decision and chooses Obi-Wan. sweet words are exchanged on a sentimental walk.

shaking hands – in the immediate wake of Ahsoka’s departure form the order, Anakin...isn’t okay. Obi-Wan tries to do something about it. (post S5 angst)

untitled platonic tired cuddles/back scratching fic – Anakin resorts to an old tactic to make his Master rest.

sun shine on – Obi-Wan and Anakin take a little trip to Tatooine to visit Shmi’s grave. (post-ROTS fix-it au of sorts)

pushing it too far — Obi-Wan calls Anakin for some help when he takes ‘intel’ too seriously and ends up drunk on a street in lower-level Coruscant.

whump prompt fill – Obi-Wan looks after Anakin after a near-miss. They talk.

‘was it another premonition?’ – Obi-Wan dreams of Luke. He wakes up to Anakin.

post-mortis angst – Anakin remembers. *tw: implied suicidal thoughts

angstpril: ‘you have to let me go’ – Anakin and Obi-Wan are stuck in a pit. only one of them can make it out alive. *tw: implied major character death

role model – post-deception angst. Obi and Ani talk. it doesn’t go well.

here either way – conversations about mental health. *tw: panic attack

hiraeth – Obi-Wan walks alone. *post ROTS

Anakin & Ahsoka: Dream Team Sharing One Single Brain Cell (tagged: #snips & skyguy or (for the really angsty) #its crying about snips & skyguy hours)

that one person – (my first fic!) Anakin gets assigned to lecture a class of younglings, but he's not the only one who doesn't want to be there.or Ahsoka Tano is done with Jedi sh!t and tries to leave, but this time it's just a classroom and not the entire Order and there's a lot less tears and pain.

here and now – the Force has tried to swallow Ahsoka Tano three times. it's hard to be the last one standing. (or Ahsoka feels the death of three important men in her life and is tired of being left behind) *tw: major character deaths (canon compliant and not depicted, only mentioned)

whumptober: crying – Anakin comforts a distraught Ahsoka after her disaster mission over Ryloth.

reaching out – Anakin is always there...until he’s not. Ahsoka reflects on how different it is fighting and living without Anakin at her side. (angst)

help would come – Anakin and Ahsoka get stuck on an ice planet and things get dire. I chalked this full of parallels to the final conversation between Ani and Luke bc I love pain, I guess?

whump: ‘i’ve got you’ – Anakin pulls Ahsoka from a nightmare.

zen!Anakin ficlet — Ahsoka visits Anakin in his new job as Galaxy’s #1 Dad (well Plo Koon still exists so maybe #1.5?).

right as rain – Ahsoka insists she is fine when she is distinctly not.

snoozeville – Anakin and a few boys of the 501st find their Commander catching some extra z’s.

stitching up – Ahsoka performs some in-the-moment surgery for Anakin and he tries not to scream. *tw: field surgery

‘platonic spooning’ prompt fill – do I need a summary after that?

sad hours: dancing – Anakin and Ahsoka dance in the aftermath of tragedy.

rainy ending given to a perfect day – Anakin and Ahsoka take a trip into downtown Coruscant.

Anakin and Padmé: Abi Tries and fails To Write Romance (tagged: #anidala)

not enough – Anakin has a hard time with the Mortis fall-out. Padmé doesn’t know how to help someone who doesn’t want it. some painful connections between Ahsoka and Shmi are made. (angst, no happy ending, trouble in paradise)

I will not have this baby in a jail cell – some fluff, some crack, some Anakin-being-so-proud-of-his-badass-wife.

marcid – domestic fluff in which Padmé almost shoots him. ha. oops!

rubatosis – angsty anidala hours. Anakin can’t go to sleep.

Obi-Wan and Satine: Abi Tries and fails some more To Write Romance (tagged #obitine)

don’t go – Obi-Wan makes a choice. *year on the run timeline

that’s mine – some happiness AU obitine. waking up next to each other. laughing. all the sappy stuff.

accidental keldabe kiss – all the ridiculous tropes I love with our favourite pining idiots. it’s the ‘kiss me so they don’t see us!’ trope!!!! *year on the run timeline

you’re shaking – Satine knows Obi-Wan more than he’d like. *year on the run

Anakin, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, Rex, Padmé: Space Found Family In Whatever Form It Comes

i want your midnights – the gang attends a New Year's banquet (read: party) and Padmé surprises them all with her midnight kiss.

flair for dramatics – when the gang gets their ship stranded on a desert planet, Anakin and Ahsoka get creative as they try to keep spirits up and minds off the sweltering heat. Obi-Wan questions his sanity. (crack fic turned fluff)

nothing a cup of tea can’t fix – when Anakin shows up to Obi-Wan's quarters in the middle of the night, the Jedi Master knows something has gone awry. answering Anakin's desperate cry for help, Obi-Wan is reminded of how very, very prone to dramatics his former Padawan and Grand Padawan are. (or: Ahsoka gets sick and Anakin flips his shit.) (sickfic)

in the sandstorm – when Tatooine's weather takes a turn for the worst, Ben Kenobi finds a young boy in need of shelter and some lessons on how wonderful his dad had been. (luke and obi-wan hurt/comfort)

remembering hurts – Rex and Ahsoka strive to survive on the snowy moon in the days after Order 66. tensions are high and emotions are volatile.

balter – disaster trio dances at a senatorial ball.

reunion – au where Anakin doesn’t completely turn to the dark side but everything up to and including Mustafar (except for the last like...five minutes) happens. Padmé has the twins, Obi-Wan is overwhelmed, Anakin is a mess. they’re happy...or at least, they will be soon.

‘cookies’ prompt fill – disaster trio makes cookies for the crechelings for Life Day. (just fluff and banter)

first ever codywan! – Cody does some bedside vigil for a hurt Obi-Wan. :’)

transponster – disaster trio is tired and delusional. Rex and Cody want Jedi to have some kriffing self-preservation.

one final salute — Obi-Wan and Cody get trapped. Obi-Wan’s luck is running out. (angst? angst.)

codywan whump – Cody saves Obi-Wan’s life. again. (more fluff than whump)

girls’ night – Ahsoka hangs out with her mom pal Padmé.

driving lessons – Obi-Wan and Anakin teach Ahsoka to drive. ha.

affectionate obi – the kids get Obi-Wan a puppy. fluff!

sorry I don’t speak idiot – Rex and Fives deal with a drunk Echo :’)

post deception disaster trio sadness – Ahsoka tries to keep Obi-Wan company in the aftermath of Rako Hardeen...but Anakin isn’t playing nice.

verklempt – Ahsoka and Yoda talk about being chosen. and Ahsoka finds out maybe she hasn’t been left behind afterall. *pre-TCW

apricity – disaster trio have a picnic at the temple! just pure fluff.

pyrrhic – codywan but make it angsty. some battles are won at too great a cost.

disaster trio sickfic – two Jedi dads and their (sick) daughter :’)

‘you’ve been here this whole time?’ – newlyweds anidala (but shh, Obi-Wan doesn’t know that! yes he does, everyone does.) are there when Obi-Wan wakes up and he ownders just what he did to get so lucky.

Febuwhump 2021: A Foray into Hurting the Characters I Love the Most

mind control – Anakin’s narrative as he fights Ahsoka on Mortis. sad boy hours. a lot of insecurity happening here.

‘I can’t take this anymore’ – during the Obitine (plus third-wheel Qui-Gon) year on the run, Satine gets tired of Obi-Wan trying to die for her. a bit hurt/comfort, a lot sappy.

imprisonment – on their first mission together, Obi & Ani get captured. Anakin learns how Obi-Wan feels about tight spaces.

coma – post deception arc. Obi-Wan goes into a coma after a particularly intense conversation with Anakin. Anakin tells Obi’s unconscious body how he’s feeling. angst, angst, angst. there’s your warning.

‘take me instead’ – Anakin escorts Padmé on a diplomatic mission but things get dicey and quick decisions must be made. Anakin isn’t the only one in this relationship willing to be an idiot for the sake of *love.* (or: another attempt to write Anidala in a convincing way because they give me a tough! time! so this time make it...dangerous)

insomnia – Anakin overhears a late night holo-call and learns that his Master has a...friend that is a girl???? and is pretty???? but also that his Master may need some fixing and he thinks he may just be the nine-year-old for the job.

poisoning – Ahsoka gets drugged and Anakin gets...er...angry. (read: dark)

‘hey, hey, this is no time to sleep’ – as Ahsoka and Anakin wait for help, Anakin tells a story. an ancient monster in the heart of Tatooine...waiting for it's day of reckoning. (or: Ahsoka gets dehydrated and Anakin can't deny his hurting sister/padawan anything so he talks a little bit about home.)

buried alive – Anakin reflects on some things as his Padawan tries to rescue him from the rubble. angst!!!!!!!!!

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know’ – the Council loses a planet and Obi & Ani get tasked with finding it, but after nine hyperspace jumps and a painful discovery, Obi-Wan teaches his former Padawan one more lesson. (or: the boys talk about failure and feelings when Obi-Wan finds out Anakin's mechno-arm has been causing pain for a couple years)

hallucinations – Ahsoka tries to fix things. it doesn’t work. (post-order 66) angst

‘who are you?’ – Anakin and Ahsoka rescue Obi-Wan, but things aren’t okay and Obi-Wan doesn’t recognise Anakin. (or: Obi is tortured for information about the fall of the Republic before it happens and goes a bit mad bc of it)

‘I didn’t mean it’ – Obi-Wan learns how cold and unfeeling his young Padawan thinks he is and has a rough day. angst

burned – Anakin mourns the loss of his Padawan in a tactile way. Obi-Wan watches. (or: Anakin throws Ahsoka’s Padawan beads into a fire)

‘I wish I have never given you a chance’ – Obi-Wan is reminded of his own incompetence through a vision form his old master.

you have to let me go – Ahsoka has one heirloom: a hologram of her old master as a padawan. but it’s time to let the past go and step into the future, with help from an old friend.

#my fic #maybe I'll go give creative names to some of these prompt request fills someday but #probably not #anyway I definitely should have been doing things other than making this tonight but HERE WE ARE #:)#also at the time of me typing this I have 49 fics listed on here #which is so crazy to me #bc I just started writing in september and if you had told me I would have 50 fics in five months I would have laughed at you #and its so fun and cringey to look back at some of these #its only been a few months but my writing has CHANGED #(hopefully for the better?)#anyway yay! an organised archive!#sw fanfiction

267 notes · View notes