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#and its every moment from before the fall that steve remembers in perfect clarity but steve won't show him because it hurts
fandomfluffandfuck · 4 months
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Thinking about Sam asking Steve, "What makes you happy?" And when he doesn't have an answer, Sam starts paying attention to try and parse out little pieces of happiness from him. Once, he sees Steve doodling with a pen on the back of some extra receipt paper when they go out to lunch, Sam leading the charge to get him used to non-boiled future food 😉 They're waiting for Steve's card to be returned to him and, okay, damn, the history books left out that Steve's a pretty decent drawer. Sam can work with that... watching the quirk of Steve's mouth as he doodles.
So, Sam gets him some nice art supplies. No dollar-store pens or regular #2 pencils. Some expensive, apparently high-quality (according to the Internet, it really is helpful sometimes, ha) graphite pencils, a set of micron pens, and the appropriate watercolor paper, brushes, and pigment. The final cost is eye-popping to Sam in spite of his understanding of modern pricing. It's worth it, though. Because Steve uses them. He starts carrying a sketchbook along with his list book. And, eventually, he shyly shows Sam some of what he's worked on.
The sprawl of Central Park...
A broken section of sidewalk, grass creeping through the space made by the roots of an elder tree...
The skyline view from Steve's apartment...
A dog...
A potted plant sitting on Steve's balcony with a label that reads "my sadness buddy" (a gift from Natasha)...
An empty folding chair from the VA...
A steaming cardboard coffee cup.
Sam is blown away by the beauty of what Steve can create. He wonders, but he doesn't ask if Steve's ever had nice, vivid art supplies before. There's something impressive about the colors and way he experiments, pulling beauty out of nothing, with his new art supplies. But, also, there's something especially impressive about what he can do with any old pen or pencil lying about. Sam finds himself smiling, thinking about that old saying he's heard, a poor craftsman blames his tools. Steve is bluntly a master craftsman--in everything he does, he puts his entire heart into it. It's strange he hasn't drawn any faces or people, though. (There's definitely something there. Sam's gonna have to see what that's about, too.)
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blossomingimagines · 3 years
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Of A Broken Heart
Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Stark!Reader
Word Count: 5,339
Summary: You never thought you would see her again. Never thought you would feel your heart skip a beat because of her emerald green gaze again. Never thought that you would let her back in. You also never thought that you would have to think about planning your brother’s funeral either. (Set after and during (sort of) Infinity War.)
Notes: Everyone requested a second part of Requiem... so I thought I would make one. I hope that you all like it. (Also the reader was under the assumption that Tony had returned. She wasn’t aware that Tony wouldn’t have a way back.)
Tag List: @username23345 // @stephanieromanoff // @ima-gi--na-tion // @chickenhavewisdom // @hi-i-1​ (I’m not sure if some of you wanted to be tagged but you mentioned a part two in Requiem... so I thought I would do so just in case.)
Warnings: Mentions of alcoholism. 
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Your gaze was leveled with the sky. Tracing over the sparkling stars and the distant worlds dotted between. Worlds that you would never be able to make out with your naked eye. Even though you knew that they were there all the same.
Was Tony on one of them? Your mind cries out. Tears coming unbidden to your eyes as you tried to quell the incoming sobs. Was he all right? Was he already dead?
The thoughts were familiar to you. Looping constantly within your head like a taunt. Images of your brother’s dead body flashing across your mind. Hollow brown eyes, normally filled with so much life, staring into your own. Never to have the same spark again. To have mischief lurking within their depths as various emotions played through his brilliant mind. 
Clenching your hands against the railing you were leaning against, you lower your head as you take in deep breaths. Ever since Tony had disappeared with the ship you had been left in an almost fugue state. Barely being able to interact with anyone. Barely allowing yourself the pleasures of living. 
Eating had become a challenge because Tony could potentially not be doing the same. How could you possibly enjoy your meal if Tony was starving? How could you allow yourself the simple pleasures of Earth if Tony was suffering away from it? Away from you. 
The thought of Tony truly being gone hadn’t fully set in. You had dealt with this before. Had lived with the knowledge that Tony could be lost to you. Afghanistan had been hell for you and for everyone that loved Tony. You hadn’t given up hope that he would be found. That your big brother, the only family you had left, would be returning to you. 
You had less hope now. At least when Tony had disappeared in Afghanistan he had still been on Earth. Now you didn’t know what galaxy he was in… let alone the planet.  His absence became more and more obvious the longer it went on. The days slipping past you like water through your fingers. The knowledge that Tony may truly be gone this time crushing you. 
It didn’t help that you were surrounded by the people that hurt you the most. The people that you thought were your family but ended up being your biggest heartache. Closing your eyes once more, you crane your neck back. And even if you couldn’t see the stars you knew where you were looking. You had long since memorized the layout of the sky above your terrace in the Compound. It wasn’t the Tower but you didn’t think you could bear to set foot in it. Not without Tony being there to greet you. 
You could hear the distant murmur of voices beneath you. No doubt the others trying to figure out what to do. The sound causes yet another stab of pain to lance through your heart. While you wouldn’t wish what had happened on your greatest enemy, you couldn’t understand how they survived when Tony didn’t. How they could be using the things he made for them after everything they had done. Didn’t understand why you had to see them every day and not Tony. 
You still remember, with perfect clarity, seeing them again after so long. Remember seeing her again after everything. 
You wished that your heart didn’t still react the way it did. 
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Stepping off of the QuinJet, you pull your jacket tighter against your body. Your eyes taking in the various faces as you went. Desperately searching for something familiar to ground you. You needed something to make sense. You needed to have someone you love be okay. 
Spotting a familiar face, you break out into a run. Relief interlacing itself within your shout. “Wombat!”
At your yell, Rhodey whips around and pure relief flashes across his face. His arms are already opening for you as you barrel into him. Burrowing against him as you clung as tightly as you could. 
“You’re okay,” you choke out with tears falling from your eyes. “You’re okay.”
Rhodey’s arms tighten around you at your choked statements. The pain he was holding back showcasing itself within the shaking of his arms. By the way, he followed every minute movement of your body as you shifted in his embrace. Finally, after a few moments, you take a small step back. Making sure that you maintained eye contact with him through it all. You needed him in your sights at all times. You don’t know what you would do if he disappeared too. 
His pained gaze flits to various points behind you. His throat bobbing up and down as he tried to form his question. “Di-” He clears his throat. “Did Pepper make it?”
You nod. “She’s on her way now.”
Rhodey hums but his gaze still hadn’t returned to yours. Causing your own to narrow as worry started to fill your chest. “Rhodey.” You wait for him to turn back towards you. Even if his gaze wouldn’t stay solely on your own for long. “What’s wrong?”
He shakes his head but doesn’t offer an answer. Something that only causes your worry to grow that much more. Rhodey had made it his life's work to deliver the hard truths to family. You didn’t want to think of what this meant that he wasn’t able to tell you. 
Stepping closer, you place a light hand on his chest. “Rhodey,” you implore gently. “What happened?”
There’s a tense silence until he finally meets your gaze. Tears finally begin to fall from his eyes as a pained sound escapes his mouth. “Sam.”
He didn’t have to say anything else for you to understand. You had already seen so many people you knew crumble before your eyes. Seen innocent bystanders disappear with the breeze as their remaining family watched in shock. The screams for help and the mournful howls of grief following soon after. New York City quickly became a desolate wasteland of what it used to be. The City That Never Slept growing quiet. 
Wrapping your arms around Rhodey, you offer him another hug. There were no words that you could say that could take away his pain. No words that would ever make the grief go away. That would ever erase the image of ashen faces crumbling against the wind. Faces of loved ones, of people you didn’t even know, forever seared into your brain. 
Raising your head, you meet Rhodey’s gaze once more. A small frown furrowing your brow. 
“Where’s Tony?”
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“We’ll have to take another jet to scope the area for more survivors. I thi-”
Whatever was going to be said was immediately interrupted by your entrance. Not that you cared for anything he had to say. Your gaze honing in on his baby blue one as you made your way towards him. While he didn’t look the same you could still see the self-righteous asshole underneath. Something that caused your anger to grow even more. 
You didn’t notice the other occupants of the room. Didn’t notice the way pained green eyes followed your every move-- even though there was worry interlacing the expression. Didn’t notice anything except for Steven Fucking Rogers. 
Even the splitting pain that erupted across your hand as you punched him did little to detract from your anger. All you could feel was your pain. Your grief at what had happened. No amount of physical pain could ever measure up to your emotional trauma. 
“You asshole,” you snarl. “This is exactly what Tony was afraid of. This is exactly what he tried to protect the world from.”
Steve didn’t make any move to protect himself from your shoves. His blue gaze turning sad; almost remorseful. 
“I know, Y/N.” He turns his head away as shame colors his face. “I know that this is what Tony was afraid of.”
“Don’t you dare say his fucking name like you’re still his friend. Don’t you dare act like what you did didn’t happen.” You scoff as you take a step back from him. Your gaze finally looping the room for the first time. Only briefly pausing over Natasha’s silent form. Hating the relief that flared through your body at the sight of her. An emotion that you were sure crossed your face by the way something shifted in her gaze. By the way, her stance loosened ever-so-slightly. Turning away from her, you meet Steve’s gaze once more. “Tony knew this was going to happen. It’s why he fought so fucking hard for the Accords. Why he fought so hard to keep the team together.”
Anger finally graces Steve’s face at your words. “The Accords were going to treat us as servants, Y/N. There was no way we could sign them.”
An incredulous laugh falls from your lips at your words. “This isn’t the forties, Rogers. You can’t just do whatever the hell you want and expect to get away with it. There have to be limitations on what people with your abilities are allowed to do.” You shake your head as you turn your back on him. Moving towards the door. “Tony was going to fight for your rights. He wasn’t going to let your humanity be stripped from you. But there had to be fail-safes in place to protect the innocent people of Earth.” You shoot him a glance over your shoulder. Withering with its intensity-- with your anger. “Or is one person truly worth more than the millions of lives you destroyed? Or the billions, maybe even trillions, that are now gone because you couldn’t see past your loyalty to him?”
“This isn’t my fault, Y/N.” Steve replies. “This is because of Thanos. He is the one we have to stop.”
A small smile quirks your lips at that. “Still the idealist I see.” You shake your head. “We all made mistakes, Rogers. Could have done things in a different manner. But never forget that you were the one that split the team-up. That you were the one that decided Barnes’s life was worth more than everyone else's.” You chance one more glance towards Steve. Your eyes are sympathetic because you already knew what happened to him. “I’m sorry for your loss. No one deserves to see their loved ones perish like that.”
Even though it’s better than not knowing...
Moving closer towards the door, you place a gentle hand against the wooden surface. Your gaze turning somber as you meet Natasha’s gaze once more. Maintaining eye contact even though you were speaking to the room as a whole. “Maybe the people we should have been protecting the Earth from were you.”
You don’t wait for a response as you’re already gone. The thunderous echo of the door slamming behind you being all that was left of your presence. 
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You find Thor outside with an anthropomorphic raccoon. Something that barely causes you to pause as you settle down beside the god. Your gaze remains level with the horizon even as you felt Thor’s gaze on your face. His electric blue eyes like a weight against your skin. 
His deep rumbling voice soon breaks the silence. “Y/N.”
“Thor.”
A silence settles over the three of you. Your gaze never wavering from the setting sun. The silent fields rolling with the wind. A hollowness exuding from the world that left your stomach churning with nausea.
“Is the Man of Iron, all right?” Thor breaks the silence once more. His deep voice is uncharacteristically soft. “I haven’t seen him.”
At the question, your mouth thins into a line. Finally breaking your gaze with the horizon as you met Thor’s. “Tony isn’t here, Thor.”
The revelation causes Thor to reel back. His shock etching itself across his features. “Friend Stark was dusted?”
You shake your head; trying to ignore the pain that struck your chest at the very thought. “No, Thor. He went after Thanos with Peter.”
The God of Thunder’s brow furrows. “So you do not know if he lives?”
You shake your head once more. “No, Thor. I don’t know if Tony is alive or not. I may never know what has happened to him.”
There’s another moment of silence before another voice speaks up. Your gaze shifting towards the raccoons. Deep brown eyes, that reminded you so much of Tony, stare back at you. 
“He’ll be all right. If he’s in space then that means he’s run into my team.” His pointed snout looks back towards the sky with a hint of longing across his face. “They’ll take good care of him.”
At his words, a breath of relief falls from your lips. Your shoulders loosen at the sheer confidence within the raccoon's tone. That is until Thor interjected once more. 
“But what if they were dusted too, Rocket?’
There was no answer. Only the silence of the world, a world that would never be the same, settling over the three of you. Your eyes once again returning towards the sky. 
All with different levels of longing interlaced within.
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Staying in Wakanda was stifling. While it was a beautiful country with astonishing marvels, you couldn’t help but be weighed down by everything. From the silent grief that permeated the air because T’Challa was gone. To the dark looks directed towards the sky whenever an airship flew overhead. Not to mention being surrounded by Rogers and his team. 
Pepper’s arrival was like a breath of fresh air. You weren’t sure you were still capable of smiling, with true joy, before she appeared. Her bright blue eyes meet your gaze across the yard. Her own bright smile, with unshed tears filling her gaze, appearing as she rushed towards you. Her slim arms wrapping around you in a tight embrace. The familiar floral scent of her perfume calming you. 
You hadn’t been around when Pepper had seen Steve again. Hadn’t seen the colossal fallout that had occurred but you had definitely heard about it. Thor had been all too happy to tell you the tale of ‘Lady Potts decimating her star-spangled foe’. Something you were more than eager to hear. 
Which is how Pepper had found the two of you. Laughing over Thor’s depiction of events. Her own agitation quickly falling away at your joy. And, while it didn’t last long, you were thankful to Thor for allowing it to appear all the same. 
Returning to the United States, to New York City, was like stepping into a nightmare. At least while you were in Wakanda you could pretend that billions of people weren’t dead. That it hadn’t been something that affected half of the universe. Seeing the empty cars on the side of the road. The few people littering the street looking lost. Faces pale and emotionless as they shuffled aimlessly from place to place. 
It was a sight that you would never forget. Yet another thing that you were going to have nightmares about. 
The Compound wasn’t any better. Echoes of days long passed hitting you with full intensity as you made your way through the silent halls. The laughter that sounded so foreign to your ears now ghosting across your ears on a phantom breeze. Distant chattering that only seemed to fade the closer you got to it. Memories haunted the halls of the Compound. But nothing would ever be worse than the Tower. The place that you and Tony had built together. A great marvel that was forever placed within Manhattan's skyline. Knowing that he wouldn’t be there when you arrived caused you to stay away. 
You didn’t think you would be able to handle those memories. Of lazy Sunday afternoons lounging around in pajamas while Pepper was taking various calls. Tony doing his best to make her break away from her no-nonsense CEO facade. Only succeeding once before Pepper shot him a withering look that held no heat behind it. The sound of his laughter bouncing off the hallways as he cheated at Mario Kart. Your own expletives joined in soon after as you were hit, once again, with a shell. 
Knowing that the Compound did this to you; even though you rarely visited it. How could you possibly set foot in the Tower? The one place that had made you feel truly at home. 
Drinking helped ease the pain. Helped quiet the memories that kept surfacing as you stayed in the Compound. You know that it wouldn’t be what Tony wanted. That he never wanted you to have the problems he had, but as the days passed. As the pain, the grief, continued to grow, you found it harder and harder to resist the amber liquid. Tony wasn’t there anymore. He wasn’t there to tell you a joke when you were feeling low. He wasn’t there to tell you that he loved you in his own special way.
He wasn’t there.
So you settled for the numbness and the sound of his voice in the distance. Always there in a dark corner but never obtainable.
Anything would be better than not having him with you. 
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On the second week of your stay in the Compound, the others appeared. The sound of the QuinJet only pulling your gaze towards the yard for a moment before you looked back down. You knew that they would be coming sooner or later. The world needed protectors. And they had just lost their greatest. The people of Earth needed to have someone to look towards. 
It was only a matter of time before they called on them. 
You didn’t even raise your gaze when you heard them enter. Their voices petering off when they noticed you sitting on one of the many couches with a StarkPad in hand. 
“You didn’t think I would just let you stay here by yourselves, did you?”
Your question was only met by silence. You were hoping that they didn’t question you on how you knew. That they didn’t notice the dark shadows under your eyes from lack of sleep. Or the empty decanter on the glass table before you. 
Steve was the one to respond. “We didn’t but I wasn’t aware it was going to be you, Y/N.”
Glancing up, you narrow your eyes. “Well, I’m the only Stark left so it shouldn’t be that much of a surprise, Rogers.”
You don’t wait for a response, suddenly finding it too hard to be in the same room as him, as you stand. Trying to ignore the way the room spun ever-so-slightly at the motion. Easily gathering your bearings as you made your way out of the room.
Trying to ignore the way an emerald green gaze watched you as you left. 
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You weren’t surprised when she found you-- annoyed maybe but not surprised. Sometimes you hated that she knew you so well. Hated that she could still read you like a children's book. 
You didn’t bother to turn towards her as she stepped onto the terrace. Your gaze remains level with the horizon. Hoping, no matter how much it hurt, that you would see something. Anything. A single sign that Tony was coming back to you. That he was alive. 
Feeling her warm presence settle beside you should have caused you to tense. Should have caused you to move away at the closeness. It should have caused you to do a lot of things but you don’t. You simply stay rooted to the spot as Natasha leveled her gaze towards the side of your face. Her keen green eyes took in everything that she could see. 
You tried not to tense when her eyes flickered down towards your hands. Towards the glass that, by some miracle, hadn’t broken due to your tight grip. The amber liquid glowing softly underneath the moonlight. 
She doesn’t say anything for a long while. Simply standing with you underneath the moonlit sky. The only sound passing between you being your breathing. 
Until her husky voice finally breaks the silence. “He wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself, Y/N.”
You tense. “And how would you know what Tony wants Natalia?” 
You didn’t have to be looking at her to see the wince that you caused. Your own heart feeling heavy at your acidic retort. But, unlike most people, she didn’t shy away from your anger. She didn’t even seem to be fazed by it.
“Because, despite what you may think, I still consider you and Tony my family. I know how much Tony loves you, Y/N. I know how much you love him.” She grows silent for a moment before she continues. Her tone much softer than it was before. “And I know how much I love you.”
Your eyes slip shut at the quiet admission. A painful lurch of your heart telling you what you had been trying to ignore for the last two years. That you love Natasha Romanoff. That you always would… no matter what. 
“That’s not fair,” you whisper. Finally turning your gaze to meet hers. “You can’t just come back into my life after two years and say those things to me. You can’t just say you love me like it’s going to fix anything.”
Her eyes flash. Turning razor sharp before your eyes as she steps closer. “It could change everything, Y/N.” Emerald green implores you to listen to her. To actually hear and understand what she was trying to say. “I love you, Y/N Stark. You are the love of my life. You are the only love of my life. I hate myself for hurting you. For breaking us apart because I couldn’t see the bigger picture. You are the only woman that has ever made me feel cherished. The only person that has ever made me feel truly loved.”
You shake your head. “You left, Natasha.”
“Because you told me to,” Natasha cries. Her green gaze grew even brighter because of unshed tears. “Do you think I wouldn’t have stayed? That I wouldn’t have fought tooth and nail to keep you? That I wouldn’t have let this whole world burn if it meant I could be with you for one more moment? You told me to leave, Y/N. I had already broken enough that day. I wasn’t going to stay and break your heart even more.”
“And you think this time will be any different?” You ask with an incredulous frown pulling your brow down. “You think that I don’t have nightmares about my parents death? That I don’t see my mother being murdered while my father couldn’t do anything but watch? You think that I’m not haunted every single fucking day that the love of my life kept that from me. That you lied to my face about one of the single most important things in my life.” Moving away, after setting your glass down, you run a hand through your hair. Your mouth thinning into a line. “You don’t think I wanted you to stay too?”
At your admission, Natasha moves towards you. Her gaze desperate as she took your hand in hers. “This time I will, Y/N. I won’t let you go again. Doing so last time almost killed me. I promise that I won’t ever lie to you again.” She shakes her head as she takes another small step closer, her hand resting gently against your cheek. “I promise that I’ll love you the way you should be loved until our last dying breaths.”
Your eyes flutter shut at the touch. It had been too long since you had felt her. Felt the way her fingertips ran across your cheek. The simple elegance that she always exuded being interlaced with her love for you. But you couldn’t forget what had happened. Your heart lurching in your chest as you remember the sting of betrayal once more. 
Pulling away from her, you take a few steps back and fold your arms over your chest. You needed to have distance between your bodies. You wouldn’t be able to think clearly if she was near. 
“I need time to think, Natasha.” You finally say after a tense stare off. “I need to come to terms with a lot of things in my life.”
Nodding, Natasha takes a small step back. Even though it looked like everything in her body was telling her to move towards you. Her green gaze glowed with a gentle warmth. “I’ll wait for as long as you need, Y/N. I’ll be damned if I lose you again.” Turning away from you, Natasha pauses at the door. Her gaze meets yours once more with a small smile quirking her lips. “And, just so you know, I had nothing before I found this family. Before I found you.”
Then she was gone. Leaving only you and the echoing of her words behind. 
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Now…
You haven't truly spoken to Natasha since the exchange. She had kept true to her word about waiting for you. Her gaze always finds yours the moment you enter a room she was in. Always making it clear that you could approach her whenever you wished to. Though she never forced her presence onto you. Maintaining a respectable distance from you at all times. Not far enough for you to not know she was there but not close enough for you to feel crowded. 
You had tried to come up with ways why you couldn’t let her back in. Her betrayal being the main factor but even you knew that it wasn’t valid any longer. Even Tony had told you to look past it. That Natasha was so head over heels for you that her reasons had been honorable. Severely misguided, maybe, but honorable. 
Oh, Tony, if you were here I wouldn’t feel so lost. You would just tell me what to do. Give me your patented smirk and berate me about my head being up my ass. Lowering your gaze, you run a frazzled hand through your hair. If I get one sign that you’re alright I’ll give her one more chance. I’ll make it work because I know that this is what the universe wants. That you returning to me is a sign that I’m supposed to be with Natasha. 
At your eternal declaration, you glance towards the sky. Hope fills your chest as you observe the moonlit sky. Only to quickly be crushed as the minutes ticked by and nothing happened. Your heart breaks even more in your chest at getting your hopes up. 
Stepping back from the railing, you decide that it would be best if you headed in. Maybe drown your sorrows with a few glasses of whiskey before turning in for the night. Pressing your hand against the smooth glass of the door, you have to squint at the sudden light from behind you. Your eyes barely being able to focus through the brilliant blaze. Glancing behind you, your eyes widen at the sight of a spaceship being placed down onto the ground. Your breath catching in your throat as you leapt into action. 
You didn’t even register your mad dash through the Compound. Didn’t notice the confused looks or the shouts of your name. Didn’t register the cold grass against your bare feet as you rushed across the lawn. All you could see was the spaceship. 
All you could see was the hatch opening and two figures exiting. 
All you could see was the exhausted face of your older brother. His dark brown eyes meet yours through the darkness. Relief flooding his expression as he hobbled towards you. Disconnecting from the blue arm that was keeping him steady. 
All you could register was the feeling of having him in your arms again. Your nose pressing into his neck as you clung to him. Soft sobs rip from your throat as his calloused hands gently run through your hair. 
“You’re alive.”
It was like a mantra that you brokenly repeated over and over again. Each time making it even more real that Tony was actually there with you. That he wasn’t gone. That you could still see, touch, and hear him.
His answering response never failed to bring more tears cascading down your cheeks. “I’m here.”
You could hear the others as they approached you. By the tensing of Tony in your arms you know that Rogers was at the front. Pulling back, you touch Tony’s face. A soft sob falling from your lips at how emaciated he looked.
Offering him a watery smile, your thumb gently rubbing against his cheek. “We’ll have to get some food for you. I don’t think the space diet suits you, Tones.”
He offers you a small smile in return. The familiar spark reigniting in his gaze before fading away. His next words came out in a dull whisper. “I lost the kid.”
You didn’t know what to say to that. Your own shock filled you as the devastation in Tony’s eyes became apparent. You had known for quite some time that Tony thought of Peter like a son. That Tony would do anything to keep him safe. You viewed Peter as a little brother you always wanted. A warm presence that filled your life with meaning once more. His childish antics brightening your day and bringing a smile to your face. Knowing that he was gone? That you would never hear his horrible jokes again? Or his anxious rambles? It broke your heart. For both losing Peter and for Tony having to witness it. 
“I’m sorry, Tony.” You shake your head. “He was a good kid.”
“Yeah he was.”
Opening your mouth, you’re about to respond but a shrill cry breaks through. “Tony!”
Turning, you could see Pepper rushing towards you both. Her blue gaze locked with Tony as she ran. Without thinking twice you move aside as Pepper takes your spot. Moving away to give her and Tony some privacy. Or however much one could get in an open lawn. 
Not realizing how close you were to the others, you flinch at the sudden presence at your side. Your gaze meeting Natasha’s. Her green gaze filled with warmth and happiness. A small smile quirking her lips as she observes the scene before her. Pepper’s strong hold on Tony not wavering in the slightest even as Rhodey appeared too. Both taking their turns in showering the genius with hugs. 
Shifting, your hand gently brushes the back of Natasha’s. Her eyes shifted towards yours for a moment before returning front and center. Biting your lip, you deliberate on what to do. As Natasha had clearly just given you the sign that the ball was in your court. That however you reacted to this situation would be all up to you. 
You could step away. Pretend like nothing had happened. That it had been a simple accident and nothing more.
Or you could take her hand and finally accept what your heart was screaming at you. What it had been trying to tell your stubborn mind for the last two years. That Natasha Romanoff was the love of your life and you were never going to find anyone like her. That despite all this tragedy you could learn how to be happy again because she was by your side. 
I did promise the universe, you muse with amusement dancing across your mind. And I don’t like breaking promises. 
So, without breaking eye contact with the scene in front of you, you take Natasha’s hand. Allowing a small smile to quirk your lips at the way she immediately interlaced her fingers with yours. Noticing the warm smile that was now curling her lips through your peripheral. 
Squeezing her hand, your heart leapt in your chest at the answering squeeze in response. Your body singing with happiness at having Natasha returned to you. 
Despite everything, despite all the hardships you would now have to face, you would be able to do so.
As long as you had Natasha by your side you could get through anything. 
And nothing would ever change that. 
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as-write-as-rain · 5 years
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Once Upon A Dream (remix)
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Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Summary: A Sleeping Beauty/Winter Soldier remix, featuring the reader as a SHIELD agent who might have powers (or just a really finely tuned intuition)
Warnings: None. If you’ve seen and enjoyed Winter Soldier, you shouldn’t find anything troubling here.
This is the first chapter of a Fairy Tale AU for @moonbeambucky’s 5k Writing Challenge. Congratulations, Tara!!!! Sorry it’s so late. Hope you like it!
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Chapter One
Gunshots. Squealing tires. Explosions. Breaking glass. Screams. 
The Winter Soldier’s waking life was chaos divided into clean lines, dissociated destruction by the book, mindless obedient violence.
Every kill, every mission – they all lined up in an orderly fashion, tidiness to the pandemonium. He was never really there; it was all like a walking nightmare, a hallucination that didn’t even seem real. Like watching a movie or being in the passenger seat – he witnessed all the carnage as though he were seeing it secondhand; and later, as he sat buckled in his chair, waiting for cryofreeze, the distorted memory of it seemed like he might just have imagined it all.
And then the ice would come.
And he’d drift off, to a world that seemed more real than anything he experienced during the day.
Here everything was vivid and detailed, instead of hazy and confusing. His senses seemed heightened rather than deadened, and it was only here that he ever felt truly alive or awake anymore. He was himself again, once more in control of his thoughts and his actions.
And she was here.
She’d been appearing in his dreams for as long as he could remember – although, the way dreamworlds work, there’s nothing to really indicate any long term passage of time, so it’s not like he could have pinpointed her arrival even if he’d tried. But she was there, every night, no matter how the surroundings might change.
The time he spent with her was a paradise. They’d explored forests and jungles together, wandered the streets of Paris and New York, ridden camels through the desert and dog sleds across the tundra. They’d watched the sunset on the beach, the sun-warmed sand beneath their feet; and lain in soft meadows gazing at star-strewn night skies. At times, their adventures could even be fantastical, filled with mythical creatures or impossible physics that allowed them to fly or breathe underwater. The one constant was her presence, and her love became his gravity.
Tonight, she met him on the banks of a quiet lake, surrounded by a forest ablaze with autumn color. At her feet lay two bundled blankets and a large lidded basket; several yards away there was a dock, at the end of which sat a rowboat. She turned towards him and stretched out an arm, beckoning him to join her, smiling that beautiful smile that made his heart leap.
There wasn’t another soul to be seen anywhere; just orange and yellow and red leaves, both on the trees surrounding the lake, and in their reflection in its clear waters. A small island floated in the middle of the lake, aglow with more fall foliage. The trees contrasted beautifully with the bright blue sky; the air was fresh and crisp. He inhaled deeply, relishing the scent, and joined her at the water’s edge, drinking in the gorgeous view. She leaned against him, and he wrapped his arm around her, drawing her close to his side. Her warmth was welcome against the chill in the air, but somehow he was dressed in weather-appropriate clothing, so he was comfortable either way.
He helped her into the boat, and then stepped in himself, taking the oars in hand. She was a vision, wrapped in one of her blankets and smiling up at him, surrounded by the riotous beauty of fall, and he was certain this must be paradise.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Her voice was nearly a whisper, so as not to disturb the idyllic scene; but he heard her with perfect clarity.
He gave a lopsided smile, shrugging. “Sometimes I just can’t believe you’re real.”
Her laugh was musical, as she dropped her gaze and flushed. “I feel the same way.”
He steered the boat lazily around the lake, with not so much a destination in mind as a desire to really allow themselves to steep in the gorgeous view. The sun slowly moved across the sky, and when he estimated it was probably close to four, he set his course for the island. He steadied the boat for her to climb out, and then he joined her on the gently sloping shore, securing the vessel so it would not float away and leave them stranded.
Just as he was turning to help set up their picnic, the scene began to change, colors spinning and whirling together.
The trees ballooned and stretched all around him, suddenly surging closer as though in movement. The reflection of their new bell-like shapes still danced across the water – though, now that he looked, the surface of the lake itself seemed to solidify into a glassy floor. Walls materialized in the distance, lined with elegant pillars and filled with windows revealing nothing but the clear night sky. The light in the air wavered and dimmed, seemingly cast from thousands of candles throughout the expansive room. Beautiful music swelled from a small orchestra perched on a balcony. Reflections of flickering candlelight danced on the burnished floor, as couples whirled by in a kaleidoscope of color.
He looked down to discover he was clad in a velvety jacket, complete with tails – and the strangest pants/boots combo he’d ever worn. But before he could further contemplate this, a sudden fanfare sounded. The whole room paused, turning as one towards the staircase, to glimpse the newcomer.
She was beauty personified, layers of fluffy tulle cascading from her waist, giving her the appearance of wearing a cloud – or perhaps cotton candy, as the iridescent sheen of her gown seemed to shift from silvery blue to pale lavender to a sheer pink when she moved. The gems scattered across her mask flashed in the candlelight as she turned her head. She stood tall and stately, serenely surveying the ballroom, but there was something in the way that she carried herself that quietly radiated power. He could tell just by looking at her that she was not someone he wanted to cross. He was instantly captivated, and felt irrevocably drawn to her like a magnet.
She descended as though she were floating, and he deftly made his way around the edge of the room to intercept her at the foot of the stairs. Their eyes met, and he struggled to catch his breath. Warm and welcoming, sharp and wise, sparkling with wit and mischief – how could one pair of eyes speak so much? He felt as though she could see through to his very soul.
They stared at one another for several long seconds, as he struggled vainly to find something impressive to say. Seemingly coming to her senses, eyelashes fluttering, she dipped into a low curtsy. He bowed deeply in response; then, when she delicately placed her gloved hand into his outstretched one, he led her onto the dance floor.
The rest of the world seemed to fade away as they waltzed together. “Do I know you?” He asked earnestly, searching her face. “I have the funniest feeling I’ve met you somewhere before…”
“I’m sure I’d remember,” She demurred coyly. He felt a shiver along his spine when he heard her voice. She was entirely bewitching, and he couldn’t fight the conviction that he knew her. His mind warred with itself, torn between wanting to discern why she was so achingly familiar, and the desire to simply lose himself in this moment and fully enjoy her radiant presence. He surrendered to the latter.
They swept along the dancefloor, moving together in effortless harmony, their bodies in perfect tune with one another. The music seemed to surround them, enveloping them in a reverie, and he felt like they were dancing across the sky. The way his heart was winging undoubtedly helped to sustain that sensation.
He didn’t know how long they danced, as one song bled into another; all he knew was that he held an angel in his arms, and he never wanted to let go. He was lost in her adoring gaze, vaguely aware that his own expression must be a mirror of hers. Finally, he could bear it no longer, and slowly, hesitantly, tilted his face towards hers, hoping she would meet him in a kiss.
But before their lips could touch, the music started to change, transforming into a brassy calliope. It mingled with distant shouts and whoops, as the chatter of the nearby dancers became gradually louder. Scents of hot dogs and popcorn and fried dough wafted on the breeze. The shapes of the couples throughout the dancefloor began stretching and shifting as though they were reflections in a funhouse mirror. The sky – when had there been sky? – brightened, and he could feel the sun warming his face. Someone jostled his shoulder as they strode past, apologizing quickly; and when he turned back around he found Steve walking beside him. Already he couldn’t remember what he had just been doing, and instead was filled with the certainty that the two of them had been here, at Coney Island for hours.
As they strolled down the avenue, examining the various games, they heard a commotion several stalls away. Turning a corner, they saw a woman arguing with one of the game attendants; apparently she did not take kindly to being called a cheater.
“I won the top prize, fair and square! Fork it over, buddy.” Her hands were clenched, her expression so fierce that Bucky wouldn’t have been surprised if sparks started flying from her eyes.
“There’s no way you hit all the targets without cheating, missy. You’re not going to get away with hustling me!”
Bucky noted with amusement how wide the man’s eyes grew when he and Steve approached the booth and leaned nonchalantly against the counter. He supposed they must seem rather intimidating.
“Something wrong, miss?” Bucky felt a strange sense of déjà vu, and a strong instinct to protect and support this woman. Maybe he’d met her before?
She turned her glare on him, her jaw set. “This bozo doesn’t believe a girl can shoot well enough to beat his stupid game. And if he doesn’t watch himself, I’m gonna show him just how good a shot a girl can be.” She reached for the plastic gun tethered to the counter and the barker’s expression grew even more alarmed.
Bucky turned away to hide a snicker, and Steve spoke up. “Why don’t you give her another free go-round and we’ll all see for ourselves? Sound fair?”
The man grudgingly agreed, resetting the game. She picked up the gun and fired several shots in quick succession, knocking over half the targets; in under a minute, she had decimated all of the tiny men, and Bucky had never wanted so badly to kiss a dame. She tipped the fake pistol up and blew away imaginary smoke, before dropping it back onto the counter. Cocking an eyebrow at the game attendant, she popped her hip and crossed her arms, practically daring him to say something. He looked like he was about to argue, but after the quickest of glances back at Bucky and Steve, he heaved a disgruntled sigh and grabbed the biggest stuffed animal off the shelf.
Crisis averted, the woman turned off her murder eyes and smiled brightly, thanking the man in a tone that wasn’t quite patronizing (but was awfully close). Then she turned to him and Steve, and in a much more gracious tone of voice, said, “And thanks to both of you, too. I was perfectly capable of handling that myself, but a girl does appreciate allies every now and then.”
“Oh, I have absolutely no doubt of that, sugar. But I do hate to see a man mistreating a woman, so I felt compelled to intervene.” He gave her an easy smile, feeling remarkably comfortable in her presence, though he couldn’t put his finger on precisely why she seemed so familiar.
She looked him over appraisingly, and her expression seemed to indicate that she liked what she saw. Her gaze flickered briefly over to Steve and back before asking, “Can I treat you two to some ice cream? As a reward?”
Both men agreed readily, neither one capable of turning down dessert, and soon the three of them were ambling towards the confectionery, discussing favorite flavors. She let Bucky carry her prize when he offered, and Steve gave him a surreptitious wink, falling back behind the two of them and allowing Bucky to dominate the conversation.
Bucky’s spirits were high, and he was really enjoying chatting with his new(?) friend. But when they got their cones, he found that the ice cream was cold, way too cold, and it made his joints feel weird. Then suddenly there was a jumble of other sensations and a jolt of pain, some muffled yelling in a strange language –
and then he was falling awake.
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shreddedparchment · 5 years
Text
Parallel Pt.01
Lost
11/17/2018
Pairing: Steve x Reader          Word Count: 4,390
Masterpost          Warnings: language, domestic abuse
A/N: So here it is, the beginning to Parallel. If you’re reading this, chances are you read The End of the World and I’m so excited to continue this journey with you! As soon as Steve made his way into the End of the World I knew his part was going to be much bigger than I set out to make it. If you haven’t read the End of the World, don’t feel like you need to because you should be able to read this one and discover things as you go along but I still recommend that you read that first. It will make the emotional impact much more intense. I hope you enjoy this first chapter. As always, if you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work! xoxo
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The breathing beside you is unfamiliar. You’re mostly asleep and the body of warmth beside you, for a moment, reminds you of your husband.
He was unlike any other man in the universe. He was large, tall, with bulging arms, a wide chest, and a heavy gait that still managed to flow gracefully like the chaotic flow of tidal waves. His face was beyond beautiful. He was a literal God, perfection personified with shocking blue eyes, sun-kissed skin, and golden hair that fell to his shoulders.
More importantly, he was the kindest most moral and self-sacrificing man you’ve ever know. And you’ve known some self-sacrificing men.
You dated Steve Rogers once upon a time.
You reach over towards the warmth in your bed eager to nestle into the protective cage of your husband's arms.
As your hands find an arm, a small silent alarm goes off in your head. This body is not hot enough, temperature wise, and his bicep is not big enough.
You slowly slide your hand along the bicep and suddenly realize that whoever is beside you is not Thor.
Your thoughts spring to your baby girl. You and Thor are pregnant! Almost seven months now.
Your hands fly to your stomach as you try and focus your eyes in the darkness and again an alarm rings in your head. With your enhanced Super Soldier eyesight you should be able to see easily in this semi-darkness.
But you struggle to even see the edge of the blanket. You yank it off to expose a jet-black silk nightie with beautiful silver lace embellishments along the bottom and the top.
And your belly…your belly is not pregnant. You press your hand against it and suddenly you’re dead.
Not literally of course, though you might as well be with the utter shock you’re in. Your heart isn't beating and the frenzy in your mind keeps repeating the same word over and over. “No.”
The agony in your voice surprises you.
“Y/N? What's the matter?” The body beside you asks.
On some level you realize that the man beside you is Malcolm. A System's Analyst for a big security company here in Australia. The details that you shouldn't know by heart come rushing back as you throw your legs over the edge of the bed and make your way to the bathroom.
You throw the switch on, stop in front of the mirror and press your hands flat against your stomach.
“No. No. No. No. No.” You repeat.
You reach up to touch your hair and that's back to normal too.
Your limbs feel soft, no longer hard with the muscles of training like the Avenger you are or now…used to be.
This isn’t happening. The watch…they used it. They had the ability to travel back in time and they'd done it.
This realization falls on you like a Thanos-sized anvil, crushing you with the grief of suddenly not having your little girl. She had just been there. Where the hell was she?
Your hands claw at the fabric over your stomach, hating the lack of movement underneath. Your baby bump is gone and there’s no getting it back.
“Y/N?” You realize you’re sobbing when Malcolm, who you now remember is your boyfriend, moves to stand in the bathroom doorway wiping at his face sleepily.
You probe for details in your mind, searching for where it all went wrong. Why are you still in Australia? When Thor didn’t come back home after a year, you should have left.
Your probing finds the answer.
“Allie, I know you’re only trying to help but reminding me every few minutes that Thor has the nine realms resting on his shoulders is not making me feel any better.” You shove your last shirt into the smaller side of your suitcase.
“I know,” Allie says wistfully. “But that argument helped the last time you threatened to go home so I thought it might be worth a try.”
You huff a quiet laugh at your friend's subdued enthusiasm. Looking at her makes you sad. You don’t want to part with her. Of all the places you’ve lived so far, Allie has been the best and most supportive friend you've had.
Her oval face, large blue eyes, and short straight nose sit prettily above her V-shaped chin. Her lips are also small in width but full and she always uses a bright pink lip gloss.
Her long brown hair is gathered up at the top of her head in a large messy bun, just like yours.
“I’m sorry, Allie. Really, I am.” You shrug and sit yourself down by your suitcase and stare at its contents, sadly running your hand over the blue dress you’d been wearing when Thor first kissed you.
“What if he comes back and you’re gone?” She asks.
“If he still wants to be with me…then he'll find me. He always does. But I don’t see that happening.” You miss Thor so much, but six months of perfect happiness was all the two of you were able to share.
He'd left suddenly, giving no promises as to when he might come back. He only said he was sorry and that you should stay safe.
“I don't want you to go.” Allie confesses. “Maybe if you tried dating someone else?”
“Allie…” You complain. After Thor, who could compare?
But you'd be lying if you said you weren’t lonely.
“Alright, alright. I give up. Do you at least have everything? No last-minute dry cleaning to pick up?” She provides and that strikes a spark.
The dress you wore to Allie's wedding! You forgot to pick it up.
“Shit.”
Allie smirks and pulls a pair of keys from her jean pocket.
“Typical. Here, take my car.” She offers her keys and peeks out at the window that faces the side street by your rental. “Oh…there's been a bingle, better go on foot or you’ll be stuck for ages.”
“I have no reason to rush anyway. I got the later flight. It’s a short walk. I’ll be back.” You shrug, grab your cardigan, and look over at the small fender bender that Allie had seen as you pull it on.
It looks like the two large men are about to escalate the small accident into a fight.
You manage to make it to the drycleaners in time and pick up your dress without a fuss.
As you’re adjusting the garment bag over your arm, paying more attention to the hanger than where you’re walking, you suddenly bump, head first into a hard chest.
“Ow, I’m so sorry.” You rub at the top of your head and look up at the person you’ve hit.
Your jaw drops slightly as you stare up into the dark blue eyes of your once blind date.
“Malcolm? I’m so sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going.” You confess a little surprised but pleasantly so.
“Y/N? No, don’t worry about it. Strange running into you. I didn’t think I’d see you again after-"
You nod, biting your lower lip as you sigh. That’s right, your first date with Malcolm had also been the first day you and Thor got together.
“Yeah, about that, I’m so sorry that I never…I mean with what happened…”
“No, no. Not at all. It was my fault. Leaving a pretty girl with an Avenger to go to work in the middle of a date? Rookie mistake.” He says with a pleasant laugh. “Also, I think I made some pretty foolish comments and left you with a pretty awful first impression of who I am.”
You can’t deny that he’d unintentionally insulted you, calling you high maintenance and lazy.
“Are you and he still-?” He asks, serious again but curious.
“No. No actually, he had to go. Save the universe and all that.” You shrug and give him a small nervous smile.
“Right, well, much better reason to leave a pretty girl than a security breach.” He smiles at you and for a moment you forget that you’re missing Thor.
You forget that you’re packed and ready to go tomorrow morning. Your plane ticket is bought, and your apartment is already set to be filled once you’re gone.
“Um…yeah. I should really get back. Allie's actually waiting back at my place. So…” You move around him and slowly turn to look at him as he turns to watch you go.
“Right, well, tell Allie I said hi and sorry I couldn’t go to the wedding. Again, work.”
“Okay.” You laugh lightly and nod. “Goodbye, Malcolm, it was nice to see you again.”
And it really is.
“Bye…” He gives you a wave and you nod before turning to head back.
“Y/N?” Malcolm suddenly speaks and when you turn, he’s moving towards you. “I know this might not be a convenient time but now that I’ve found you again, I’d really like to see you. Maybe finally make it up to you for leaving early on our last date?”
Your heart doesn’t flutter but his question does make you happy.
“Okay.” You nod.
“Yeah?” He asks, smiling handsomely from ear to ear.
“Yes.”
“Great. I'll pick you up tomorrow? Six?” He asks.
“Six.” You nod, smiling up at him.
When you get back home, Allie watches you as you move over to your suitcase, her brow quirked at the smile plastered on your face.
“Alright, confess. What’s got you smiling like a cat with two fish?” She demands.
You look up from your packed clothes and shake your head a little.
“I uh…I ran into Malcolm coming out of the dry cleaners.” You can’t help the smile you wear and think about the strange serendipity that had to happen for you to bump into Malcolm.
If you hadn’t lost your wallet for half the day you would have been able to buy the ticket for the earlier flight. Then you would have been in a rush to get to the dry cleaner's that you would have taken Allie's car which would have trapped you behind that accident which would have prevented you from bumping into Malcolm at just the right moment.
“Wait, my Malcolm? The guy I set you up with a year and a half ago?” Allie asks for clarity.
“Yeah. He asked me out.” You turn you smile on her and shrug.
“Oh my God! Tell me you said yes and you’re not leaving me.” Allie demands.
“He's picking me up at six tomorrow.”
Allie shrieks and bounds over to you. She throws her arms around your neck and twirls you before she throws her hands into your suitcase and hurls your clothes up in the air.
“Hey!” You complain with a laugh as it rains down around you, but you are far from upset.
When you had first left Australia you hadn’t bumped into Malcolm. He hadn’t asked you out again. You'd gone home and for the next year you spent time teaching in a local private school.
You’d enjoyed your work, but you hadn’t been able to forget Thor. And then the world ended and people all around you on your camping trip began to dissolve around you.
You spent two days climbing down the side of a mountain and when you got home all of your family was gone too. You were alone in the world. And when you went back to school, all of your kids were gone too.
With nothing to live for you’d secluded yourself in your apartment and then one day, he floated back into your life bringing with him the scent of a rainstorm and the hope of a future.
You shut your eyes trying to reconcile the two realities in your head while still desperately clutching the fabric of your nightgown over your stomach.
Your baby had been real! Your marriage to Thor had been real. You were happy. You were going to be a mom and Thor had promised...and now you realize that he must have failed.
Somehow, some way, Tony and Steve must have overpowered him and used the watch before he could destroy it.
“Babe?” Malcolm's voice interrupts your thoughts.
He reaches out for you and takes hold of your forearm as you continue to cry.
It's an instinctual reaction, to have this man who is not your husband touching you, it upsets you and you yank your arm away from him, smacking is forearm in the process.
“Don’t touch me!” You turn away from the mirror to look at Malcolm and since you aren’t expecting it, you don’t react in time.
In a blur, Malcolm's own hand shoots back up and the back of his hand makes stinging contact with the right side of your face.
You’re sent falling against the side of the tub hard where your ribs hit painfully and you’re sure they’re broken.
With a pounding cheek and stars in your eyes you turn your gaze towards him and find Malcolm with his nostrils flared, glaring down at the floor, his fists clenched tightly at his sides.
“Why do you insist on making me angry?” He demands, shouting down at you where you slide down to rest on the cool ceramic floor.
As Malcolm moves out of the bathroom, leaving you with your hand pressed to your cheek, you’re awash in new memories. Memories that begin about three months after your date with Malcolm.
It started small, a little insult here, a small derogatory mark there, but slowly Malcolm made you feel like you were lacking. He made you believe that you weren’t worthy of his love. Or anyone's love. He was doing you a favor. Even Thor, an Avenger thought you were worthless.
Then one night, when he insulted you and you had the audacity to defend yourself, he struck you.
He spent the next month convincing you that it wouldn't happen again. But eventually it did.
Having lost your apartment when you cancelled your lease with your spur of the moment decision to escape Australia and after your date with Malcolm and the speed at which your new relationship developed, when he offered you his place to move into, you agreed.
Now, you have nowhere to go. You hadn’t been able to find a good place to work and Malcolm had made it seem that with you not working then you’d have more time for the two of you and he promised to take care of you.
If you leave him, you'll have nowhere to go. No money to get by.
You should have seen his actions for what they were. How is it that you’re this stupid in this reality? He'd been worming his way into your life, cutting you off from all of your friends and he made you dependent on him for survival.
You hadn’t seen or heard from Allie in months, you realize.
You hear his approach again, the heavy footfall of his feet approaching the bathroom again has your heart pounding in fear.
He clears the doorway, his muscular torso flexing as he snaps a belt making you wince.
“I can’t believe you’re making me teach you this lesson again.” He growls.
You hold your hand up towards him.
“Malcolm, please don't. I think my ribs are broken.” You plead.
“You should have thought of that before you hit me.”
“No, I didn’t mean to. Please.” You beg.
Malcolm's face contorts in rage and your instincts kick in again.
You’re not the same girl as before. You, Y/N, are not a meek little mouse to be trampled on by an abusive asshole monster.
You’ve been trained by Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, James Rhodes, Natasha Romanoff, and your husband himself, Thor.
Serum or no serum, you are no pushover.
As he swings his belt down towards you, you block it so that it snaps against your forearm. It hurts, but you’ve felt worse. Maybe not in this softer and weaker body but you remember the burn of your serum and the feeling of being stabbed.
This sting is nothing.
You manage to get a hold of the belt and it throws Malcolm off balance. He falls towards you, threatening to crush you underneath his large form.
You use the momentum of his fall, place your foot on his defined abs, and grunt as you guide his body up over your head.
He crashes loudly against the shower curtain and tub where he falls with a whimper.
You’re not sure how hurt he is but you don’t want to find out. You force yourself up quickly and turn to look at him, the belt held towards his twisted body.
“You will never touch me again. You hear me? Fucking asshole.” You throw the belt at him and he winces as it lands on his chest but he’s not getting up yet.
In a frenzy you limp into your bedroom and move towards your underwear drawer. You yank it out of the dresser and flip it over and tear the plastic bag stuffed with money from the bottom.
You can hear Malcolm moving in the bathroom and out of fear of him getting his hands around you again, you forget your plan of grabbing some clothes and instead you make for the front door.
The entire limping run you feel like he's hot on your heels. You can almost feel his fingers stretched out for you, reaching for your hair.
You can finally breathe when you’re outside and the cool night air erupts goosebumps on your skin.
It's late enough that there aren’t any people out to stare at you.
You’re quite the sight. You’re wearing a skimpy nightie, you’re barefoot, and your face is already bruising. You run with your limp, ignoring the roughness of the ground on your bare feet. You press your right hand against your right ribs and clutch your plastic baggie of money to your chest.
The adrenaline of the encounter with Malcolm is beginning to wear off which means your emotions are making themselves known.
You’re devastated that your baby is gone. It kills you actually and that more than anything tears your heart apart. It's the thought that springs tears to your eyes.
The life you suddenly find yourself thrust into is not one you were expecting. How could it be that it's so terrible? All because Thor isn’t there?
No. You can’t put this abusive relationship on Thor.
You agreed to see Malcolm. You moved in with him. You allowed him to take control over your life though honestly you don’t see how you could have. It feels more like you just woke up one day and you were suddenly trapped.
Wait…no, this isn’t your fault either. This is Malcolm's fault. You should have killed the bastard.
You walk until your feet bleed. Until you finally find yourself in a part of town where you can hail a cab.
The cabbie is shocked at the sight of you and he stares too long.
“You sure you wouldn’t just prefer to go to a hospital, Miss?” He asks, out of concern but you’ve already told him no several times.
“Just take me to that damn address.” You sigh.
As he pulls up to the upscale townhome, you stare for a long moment, wondering if this is a good idea. You need help, but you haven’t spoken to Allie in months.
You deliberately avoided her calls and seeing her would have required too much explanation. The house is dark and not a single light shines through.
Maybe they’re not home?
“I can still take you to the hospital.” The cabbie urges.
This is the kick in the butt you need. “No.”
You toss him the bills for the ride and then limp up slowly towards the door giving the neighborhood a wary look. You don’t wanna make drama for Allie and Teddy with your presence.
The cabbie drives off leaving you to stare at the blue door with a nervous heart and a sense of guilt. You really wish you hadn’t cut Allie off. What if she shuts the door in your face?
With nothing to lose you reach up and knock on the door.
Silence.
You lift your fist again and hesitate before you once again, with trepidation, knock louder.
You hear a shuffle of noise and then the unmistakable sound of footsteps on stairs.
“Who is it?” Allie's voice sends a wave of relief through you and you shake your head as your relief gives way to sorrow.
Only one other person in this world made your heart settle into relief merely by the sound of their voice. You suddenly miss Steve so much it almost chokes you.
When you speak your voice is strangled by tears.
“Allie, it’s me.” You take a breath, pushing your sorrow down. “I’m sorry, I know it's late.”
There's silence from the other side of the door for a moment.
“Y/N?” She asks, in slight shock.
“Yeah, Allie, it's me.” You assure her with a bit more strength in your voice.
You hear the click of a deadbolt, the chain on the door, and the lock on the knob before the door is cracked open.
Allie's large blue eyes peek out at you and as she begins to see your blackening eye, your hand on your ribs, your bloody feet, and the fact that you’re standing in your nightie she pulls the door open.
“Y/N, what the bloody hell-? Look at the state of you! What's happened?” She asks in pure shock.
“Oh, Allie, I’ve been such an idiot.” You sob and when she releases the door and opens her arms for you, you eagerly step into her embrace and take comfort in your only friend.
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“That wanker! What an absolute twat!” Allie paces the space in front of you where you sit slightly hunched over with a bag of frozen veggies pressed against the side of your face.
Your eyes follow her as she tosses her brown hair over her shoulder, huffing in anger as she smashes her fist into her open palm.
“And I introduced you!” She covers her eyes and shakes her head, stopping with her free hand on her hip. “If Teddy wasn’t in Seoul, he'd be at that arseface's house throttling him.”
“It's okay, Allie. I took the hardest step. I left him.” You shrug.
“Bleeding on the bathroom floor I hope.” She moves to sit beside you, jostling your ribs accidentally. “Eight months, Y/N. Why didn’t you just say something? I would have gotten you out.”
You shake your head, eyes watering. “I should have, I’m sorry. I was embarrassed and ashamed and…I don’t know. Scared?”
You know now that everything he'd convinced you of was a lie. You were worth all the love in the world, you know what it feels like to be caressed with affection and to be cherished and worshipped and to worship, cherish, and love in return.
“I’m so sorry. Oh, Y/N.” Allie hugs you for the tenth time since you came in.
The two of you cry for a few minutes before she's up and getting you a change of clothes. She presents you with a pair of jeans and a plain white fitted tee.
You change gratefully and clean and bandage your feet up in the bathroom before slipping into the sneakers she’d bought you for your birthday but hadn’t given you since you’d stopped talking to her shortly before.
When you reemerge, Allie sits at her kitchen table, the sun beginning to turn the sky outside gray. She smiles as you approach and offers you a cup of tea.
“Thanks." You sit yourself down across from her and sip the hot liquid. Once more you’re reminded of Steve. He always made you tea when you were stressed or down.
Two tears roll down your cheeks as your heart aches for his comfort. You feel sad for wanting his arms and not Thor's in the moment. But Steve always knew what to say and what to do to put you instantly at ease.
You rest your elbow on the table and rub your right temple gently as you succumb to your emotions.
You feel sad once more when you realize that Steve is part of the reason you are here in this completely fucked reality without your baby girl.
“I think it's time.” Allie says, reaching over to place her hand over yours.
You look at her, resting the side of your face softly against your hand. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that I was a twat myself for keeping you here when you had set your mind on leaving. If you'd left Australia and gone back home, then you would never have gotten wrapped up in Malcolm's web.”
“Allie, Malcolm isn’t your fault. None of this is anyone's fault.” Except Tony and Steve's!
“Still,” She brings her other hand up from underneath the table and slides a small stack of papers over to you. “Here. Get yourself home.”
You stare at her a second longer then pull the papers close. A plane ticket home. It's a plane ticket home!
Your heart clenches painfully and you stare up at your friend with new sorrow.
“Allie, I can’t accept this.”
“You can, and you will. Go see your mum and dad. Or, we know that Thor's back in Norway, I can easily change the ticket.” Allie provides excitedly.
Her words strike a chord with your memories and you remember watching the news as this new reality you as Norway and Thor signed their agreement that would allow the Asgardians to live on the surrounding islands. Trade agreements and promise of protection were some of the benefits of letting the Asgardians live in their country.
You remember the pain that shot through your heart as Malcolm moved behind you and rubbed your neck gently.
“See, if he really loved you, he would have come to get you.” He leans down and presses a kiss to your head as Thor's beautiful face smiles as he shakes hands and poses for the cameras. “I’m the only man for you. Aren’t you happy you found me? I’ll never stop loving you.”
You look up at Allie, your eyes blazing with the anger at how easily Malcolm had manipulated you.
“Book the damn ticket for Norway.”
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@until-theend-oftheline @jessieray98 @dsakita @coldfacedwarf @just-trying-to-survive-marvel @myfandomlife-blog @wishingforahome @theonelittleone @aireka-frnc @oursameoldlove @wintersoldierswhore @keithseabrook27 @jewelofwinter @markusstraya @sincerelytlh @rumoured-whispers @thehatredofshipprick @the-surviving-revolutionist @fairislesheets @donner5822
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Text
Balance on the Head of a Pin
Chapter Eight
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Previous Chapter
Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x Reader  |  Word Count: 3334 Warnings: Fluff, swearing
The walk to her Gran’s saw them moving in companionable silence as Loki’s mind was filled with the vision of Lauren in her dress. Technically it was filled with images of him peeling her out of said dress, but he wasn’t one for splitting hairs. It had been so soft under his fingers, her skin warming it through and him in return. The idea of her bare beneath would stay with him for days until he could ascertain for himself just what clever confection of satin or silk Sadie would put her in to keep those pesky panty lines at bay.
It wasn’t until she led him down a narrow dirt road out of town that he snapped out of his musings. “Darling, just where does your Gran’s home reside?”
She smiled up at him and linked their fingers. “Down this way. She’s a bit eccentric, but she ain’t crazy like Daddy said. She’s… well, you’ll see.”
“She’s quite special to you.” Here again, she had nerves blooming, but where meeting her family had created nerves of fear, these were nerves of excitement. Clearly, his meeting her Gran was far more important to her than meeting her parents had been.
“Gran was my safe place, my savin’ grace. She gave me a place to come when home got to be too much.” Lauren slowed to a gait no quicker than a lazy amble. “Growin' up here was… difficult. Marabeth was the golden girl. Straight A student, Captain of the cheer squad, homecomin’ queen and all around darlin’. She was perfect as she was expected to be, and she held me to impossible standards. I wasn’t her and couldn’t compete.”
He squeezed her fingers, offering comfort and encouragement without words.
“Cissy was the baby. She was… beautiful right from the beginnin’. I can remember being no more than five or six and thinkin' I’d never seen a more beautiful baby. I was so proud she was my sister. I thought, “Here. Here is a sister who will love me like Marabeth couldn’t.” I should’a known Marabeth wouldn’t let that happen.” She sighed and looked away.
“What do you mean, Lauren?" How could one sibling stop the other from caring for the first? No one could have turned him against Thor. Yes they had their rivalries, and eventually, his jealousy had caused him to turn his back on his brother himself, but before that, he would have given his life for Thor.
“Marabeth was and still is very good at tellin’ people a grey truth. They’re not exactly a lie, but she can take a seemingly harmless comment and twist it to mean somethin' else entirely. It’s what makes her a good lawyer.” 
The pain seemed to ripple from her in waves.
“And she did this with you and Cissy?”
Lauren nodded. “I didn’t know until it was too late how Marabeth had been whisperin’ in Cissy’s ear, tellin' her things like how I hated her because she was the baby and had taken my position in the family, or how I thought she was hideous and ugly. None of it was true, but then Mama and Daddy heard Marabeth talkin’ and…” She shrugged.
He stopped dead center of the road. Anger and shock filled him. “They believed your sister? They believed Marabeth over you?” 
“Cissy was old enough by then to have been well and truly spoiled. You saw her. Mama and Daddy catered to her every whim, so when she backed Marabeth, there was no point in even botherin’ to deny it.”
Eyes downcast, she looked so defeated he hated her family all the more for it. “My love, I’m so very sorry,” he said, tugging her close and cupping her cheek.
“It is what it is. After, I did my best to conform, to live up to expectation, to be an Annandale, but I always seemed to come up short. Marabeth was the heir, expected to make her mark. Cissy was the baby, coddled and catered too. I was, still am, the one who disappoints. Whose only value is in her ability to make a good match and wed an appropriate husband.”
“Lauren, you have far more worth than that. Anyone who knows you, the real you, loves and adores you.” He hated her family with shocking intensity. The small tricks he’d played, the pranks pulled, the little curses he’d cast at lunch were not enough, would never be enough to punish them for the hell they'd put her through. “They may not be able to see your true value, darling, but I can. Those of us who are your chosen family can. You’re the cool head among us all, keeping not just Stark, but the rest of us in line as well. We would not be who we are today without you, Lauren.”
“Oh, I...” She blushed even as her eyes sparkled with tears. “I’m sure everyone would get on just fine without me.”
“No. No, we would not.” Drawing her in till she was firmly caught against him, Loki ran his hand over her sleek tail of hair, giving it a gentle tug to tilt her chin up. “You are integral to our success. While we all see the big picture, the large fight to come, it is often you who sees the small pieces, the little things of common sense we in our grand vision cannot. You may not see it, may not know it, but many times the casual things you say or the questions you ask of us keep us grounded. I have watched Steve seek your opinion on things simply because your humble nature keeps us humble. It is far too easy to see one’s self as a lofty being, living on a height far above the common people when those same common people elevate us to that status. We- they may be heroes, but they are still just people tasked with an extraordinary burden. Because you treat them as equals, they feel it and remain, as I said, grounded.”
Her eyes had long overflowed, her tears falling to drip from her chin. “Loki, I… I’m fairly certain that is now the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. Thank you.” Pressing up on her toes, she kissed him softly.
“Hmm,” he hummed, enjoying her softness and tasting the salt of her tears. “If I leave you in tears, my heart, perhaps I am still not doing a good enough job.” Pulling back, he brushed the tears from her face. “If, in the next few days your family becomes exhausting, remember this. The family you are born into is not always the one which is best for you. My own biological parents left me to die. Had the Allfather not shown compassion, I would not be standing here today.”
Sneaking her arms out from between them, Lauren wrapped them around Loki’s neck and rested her head on his chest. “Not a thought I want to contemplate.”
He chuckled softly. “Nor I.” Closing his eyes, he rested his chin on the top of her head, content to stand in the dappled sunlight beneath the gently swaying trees in the middle of this out of the way dirt track. Never before had he been so happy to be so far from civilization and the halls of Asgard. Stroking his fingers over her back, he let the peace and quiet, the sound of the insects and singing birds wash over him, memorized each sound and scent so the memory of this moment would be one he could look back on with clarity.
“This is nice,” Lauren said quietly. “You’re like steppin’ into the big fridge in the kitchen.”
A small smirk curled her lips when he looked down at her upturned face. “If nothing else, I can keep you cool in the summer and warm in the winter, is that what you’re getting at?”
“I don’t know,” she snickered, playing with his hair. “I’ll have to keep you around till winter to find out.”
“Cheeky,” he chuckled, patting her bottom and making her squeal. “If you think I will allow you to escape me after the winter,” he leaned closer, his proximity to her lips darkening her eyes, “you are sorely mistaken, my Valkyrie.”
The hand at the back of his neck tightened. “Who says I will let you escape me?”
A rumble like a wolf filled his chest as Loki dove in, took her lips and her breath in a searing kiss. Her moan filled his mouth with sweetness, her body moulding to his until she seemed boneless, and his arms were the only thing keeping her upright. He wanted to sink in, wallow in her, take everything she was willing to give. Every touch, every kiss, every perfect, special moment with her made it harder for him to keep his control. To step back when all he wanted to do was step forward, sink in, and claim.
Breaking the kiss, he held her away by the waist, keeping her steady while putting distance between them. “You make me forget myself, my love.” Emeralds, dark and sparkling, full of mischievous light nearly made him groan.
“The God of Mischief? Forget himself? How… interestin’,” she crooned, her smile smug.
“You really are a sassy thing, aren’t you?” Shaking his head, he took her by the hand and tugged her along as she giggled uncontrollably.
By the time they reached the narrow bend in the road, he could see the two-story home which waited, much smaller than the one of Lauren’s parents. It was of an aged design, with peaked roofs, fancy woodwork, and wooden shutters. A faded yellow, the paint peeled in places. It was, in its slightly dilapidated state, far more appealing than the monstrosity of her ancestral home. It was surrounded by forest, encroaching but not aggressively so, but it was the extensive gardens laid out before him which surprised him enough to take his breath.
They were wild, a riot of blooms and buzzing bees. A seeming mishmash of types and sizes, so exceptionally blended it was effortless and stunning. Tube feeders, long and narrow, attracted tiny birds like gleaming jewels. Stones and benches invited one to walk or sit in contemplation. Water trickled in the brook he could hear but not see, while in a separate plot of land, a much more uniform garden was placed,  one clearly meant for edibles as it ran in neat rows.
The woman working within its fenced confines hummed happily in time with her scratching at the earth, a large straw hat upon her head. A white shirt beneath a floral dress, faded yellow like the house, was decorated with yellow bees and bright-faced sunflowers. She was such a contradiction to the refined, elegant - stuffy - style of Lauren’s other family it set him back on his heels.
Lauren smiled up at him, took the lead, and gave his hand a tug, encouraging him forward when, unbelievably, he found himself nervous to meet the woman who meant so much to her.
Closing in on the fenced garden, Lauren called out, “Gran?”
The elder woman spun around, and her wrinkled face split into a wide grin. “Lulu! C’mon, child and give your gran some sugar!” She shuffled a little, her body language belaying her arthritic frame as she made her way toward the open gate.
One of advanced years, Loki wondered why she did not have a boy or a girl to see to her work. On Asgard, the aged were held in high regard, honoured for their knowledge and experience as that experience was always millennium in the making. He hung back, waiting at the gate while Lauren picked her way across the rows of vegetables to hug her Gran.
“Just look at you sparkle, Lulu!” the elder woman laughed, her eyes a bright blue-green and still very full of life.
Lauren flushed as she was want to do upon receiving a compliment, something Loki now realized had been a rarity in her youth. He made a mental note to do so more often. While he didn’t expect her to become comfortable with them, he hoped she would, someday, not find them such a surprise.
“I missed you so much, Gran,” Lauren sighed, eyes and voice teary.
“Pish!” her Gran huffed. “With such a fine young man standin’ at my gate? You couldn’t have missed me all that much,” she teased.
Lauren glanced his way, and Loki followed her path out into the garden beside a row of high growing green stalks. Upon closer inspection, he realized the twisting vines were climbing netting. Coming to a stop at Lauren’s side, he held out his hand.
“Loki Laufeyson, my Gran, Ellie Annandale.”
Bringing her aged and weathered hand to his lips, Loki kissed her knuckles. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Lady Ellie.”
“Oh, Lulu!” She fanned herself lightly with her free hand, her gardening tool having hit the dirt with her first glimpse of Lauren. “He’s so fancy!” A giggle, high and girlish came from Ellie, and her cheeks flushed a similar shade of pink to Lauren’s. “Handsome manners on a handsome man. If I were a few years younger, I’d give you a run for him I would.”
Finding her enchanting, Loki chuckled, and held her fingers between both hands. “If Lauren were not my Astvínur, I would snatch you up and run off to Asgard.”
“Oh my…” she breathed, fanning her face a little faster. “Ain’t you just the tom cat’s kitten.”
“With such beautiful women as the two of you, it cannot be helped.” He kissed her knuckles a second time and grinned broadly at her.
Ellie nudged Lauren with her elbow. “I like him! He’s a keeper.”
Lauren, eyes bright and shining full of appreciation, cocked her head to the side and smiled at him. “I’m beginnin’ to think the same.”
Neither woman noticed the ripple of the chain around Lauren’s throat, but Loki did. The magic in it, his magic, called out to him as the first step in strengthening it was achieved. The sight of it set his heart racing and excitement flowing through his blood.
“Let’s get in outta the sun. We’ll have sweet tea and y’all can tell me what trouble you’ve been gettin’ into in New York. That and you can tell me how your Mama took it when you came home with Mr. Mischief.”
“You wound me, fair Ellie. I am a reformed mischief-maker,” he chuckled, halfway in love with her already. Clearly, this was where Lauren had learned her sass. Tucking Ellie’s hand in his elbow, Loki winked at Lauren. “Perhaps I can entice you into telling me tales of Lauren when she was younger?”
“Oh, I can do you one better,” Ellie giggled.
“Gran, no,” Lauren said, shaking her head.
Another wide grin crossed Ellie’s lips as she leaned conspiratorially toward him. “I have pictures!”
***
Hours later Bucky was still snickering about his call with Lauren, well able to imagine how much trouble Loki could cause for people he disliked. If the Trickster hadn’t pulled some kind of stunt, Bucky would have thought him sick.
While he understood the reason behind their sudden engagement, and possibly admired the balls on Loki to make such a forward announcement without knowing how Lauren would take it, he had to admit he was concerned. It was a rapid jump from admission of feelings to an engagement. He didn’t want to see Lauren hurt at some point in the future if this all fell through.
Continuing on into the gym, he found Steve working over a heavy bag and wandered closer, placing his metal hand against it for his friend to work it over a little harder.
“Buck,” Steve nodded.
“Talked to Lauren.”
“Yeah?” Steve glanced at him and arched a brow. “And? He’s behaving?”
Bucky shrugged. “More so than I expected what with Lauren’s family.”
Slowing to a stop, Steve began to unwrap his hands. “It’s that bad?”
“Her mother’s a piece of work,” he grumbled, having found Lauren in tears or on the verge of tears more times than he wished to remember. “Sisters ain’t much better.”
“And her father?”
“Mostly indifferent. I gotta tell ya, Steve, she grew up way the hell different than you or I did. That’s a whole nother world.”
“She’s so sweet. I don’t get it.” He shook his head.
“I don’t either, but not everyone’s moms were like ours.” The memories he had, the ones that had returned to him, were few but precious as were the ones of Steve’s mom.
“Anything I should know you don’t want to tell me?” Steve asked, eyeing him expectantly.
“Well,” Bucky hedged, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Spill it,” Steve demanded and crossed his arms.
It was his Cap pose, one most people found intimidating. Bucky simply smirked at him and crossed his arms in response. “I’ll tell you, but you ain’t allowed to flip out.”
“I do not flip out!”
“Yes, you do, punk.”
“Jerk!” Steve threw a half-hearted punch.
Bucky ducked and swept Steve’s legs out from under him. Looming over Steve flat on his back, he snickered softly. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, pal.”
Steve jerked his legs up and around and took Bucky’s out, sending him crashing to the ground beside him. Kicking up to his feet, a move Bucky mirrored, they slowly began to circle each other, moving away from the heavy bags and weights to give them room.
“Her fucker ex was there when they arrived. Guess things got a little heated between him and Loki during the introductions. Loki pulled his God of Mischief routine. Kind of freaked them all out,” Bucky chuckled, the vindictive side of him pretty pleased with that.
Rushing in, Steve landed a blow to Bucky’s ribs and took one to his thigh for his trouble. He grunted as he slid out of reach. “Please tell me he didn’t summon the helmet?” he sighed.
“Nah, just the staff. Still, it made an impression.”
A smirk curled Steve’s lips. “I bet. Admittedly, he’s good at intimidating people.”
“Most people.”
“Most people,” Steve agreed. “What’s the bad, Buck?”
“Ain’t bad so much as… surprising.” The plates in his arm shifted, drawing Steve’s focus as he threw a right hook.
Arm flashing up, Steve blocked it with a smile and chuckle, his face reading you’re a shit with the move. They traded blows for a few minutes, fists and feet in constant movement, causing them both to breathe heavily when they broke apart.
“Stop stalling. What the hell did he do?” Steve glared at Bucky sternly.
“Such a punk. That shit doesn’t work on me, and you know it.”
Quicker than most people could see, Steve elbowed him in the face, sending Bucky reeling.
“Fuck!” he bellowed when his lip split.
Snorting, Steve snickered, “That’s for being an ass.”
Bucky narrowed his eyes at Steve and swiped the blood from his mouth. “You’re so gonna get it.”
Another round of fast and furious blows saw Steve sporting a bloody nose when Bucky snuck beneath his guard.
“Damn it, Bucky! Just tell me!” Steve barked, pressing the heel of his hand against his face.
“They’re pretending to be engaged!”
“What?” Steve’s eyes had grown as big around as saucers, and Bucky burst out laughing.
“Take it easy, pal. They were trying to make her talk to that asshole. Loki suspects something’s going on there with Lauren’s mother. He didn’t know what, but he didn’t like it and took matters into his own hands to block them from forcing Lauren into something she doesn’t want.”
“Jeez, Buck,” Steve sighed.
“He has a thing for her.”
“Huh?” Head whipping up, Steve muttered, “Really?”
“And her for him.” Bucky grinned.
Steve’s mouth opened and closed twice before he chuckled, “Well… shit. Ain’t that something.”
Next Chapter
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seenashwrite · 7 years
Text
The Nail: June 2017
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The Nail isn't about perfection. It isn't about award-level contenders. It's about seeing focus and effort and hard work radiate off of the screen. 
The Nail's purpose isn't to highlight genres of fics or specific ships written during a certain time frame - the sole focus is quality.
Character dimension. Writing with clever readers in mind. Solid world-building. Tension through boundaries. Crazy crisp dialogue. Incredibly tight plotting. Big emotion.
And though yours truly - nice to meet you, new folks, I’m Nash! - is editor of the list, the goal is for YOU to curate the content. 
Read more about how all this came to be, find past editions, see what factors are considered when constructing the list, and learn how to get your recommendations in HERE.
Now - on to the stories!
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For your reblogging convenience, here’s The Nail Master Post of Editions!
* ~ * ALL FROM THE WORLD OF "SUPERNATURAL" UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED * ~ *
Stand-a-lone stories with moderate-to-heavy sexual content will have 😳 beside them; series with such must have this either clearly noted in the overall info and/or clearly note it in the chapters/parts which contain such, so you'll need to check those on your own.
SPEED READS [from scene do-overs to gif-inspired one-shots to dripping drabbles, all less than 500 words]  
These won't be reviewed separately in Nash's usual three-point manner à la #Nash Gives [Feed]back due to their length, excepting those cases where the author pulled off a fleshed-out plot/character or had a unique take that was well-covered in the short amount of space. If there is no title provided by the author, Nash/the curator will pick one for them.
A HORRIFYING CONCEPT  - @ozonecologne
A visitor to the bunker offers Dean a chance for closure that empty bottles can't provide.
.
MAKING IT WEIRD - @helvonasche
This is the tale of that time Cas discovered porn, and with your help, he’s actually going to get some answers this time around.
.
12x21: A SCENE RE-WRITE - @prettymessedupsituation​
In script format, a better way of handling an incident that hit a sour note in the fandom is proposed that is logical, loving, and legitimately canon-worthy.
.
HOW THAT 'DUE DATE' TALK SHOULD'VE GONE - @tippitv
Dean and Sam discuss what just might be panning out to be more pattern than coincidence... after twelve years.
.
CLEAN-UP CREW - @senselesssamii
We all need help cleaning sometimes, that’s the simple truth. And some of us will need, shall we say, more specialized cleaners than others - get ready to giggle through the gross.
POEMS & POETICAL PROSE [mostly quick reads, these are actual poems of any structure/length, as well as short prose that sings like a songbird]
These also won't be reviewed separately in Nash's usual three-point manner à la #Nash Gives [Feed]back due to the typically short lengths & structure. An excerpted line is used in lieu of summary. If there is no title provided by the author, Nash/the curator will pick one for them.
WHAT IF - @saminzat
"Because once you’ve crossed the event horizon there is no going back."
.
MAMA TRIED -  @ariannnawinchester
“Dean is the boy your Mama warns you about.”
.
AN ANGEL'S PROMISE - @webcricket
"I promised you forever, and forever doesn’t end."
.
THE VALIANT - @littlegreenplasticsoldier 
"A valiant brother took the weight, the fall; The valiant’s brother took a throne, and guilt.”
* Nominated by @butiaintgonnaloveem, who said: “A poem from Dean's point of view that made my heart ache for him, from the way the guilt settles deep within him and how he contemplates his situation."
.
CASTIEL'S FALL - @vintagesam
"I fell at 60 miles per hour, on a back road in the middle of nowhere."
ON THE SHORT SIDE [500-ish to 1.5K]
STRATEGIC MOTHERING - @butiaintgonnaloveem    
A look at how Mary Winchester, in the words of the author, "deal[s] with trying to control her hunter’s instincts while living the civilian life", and the pros-and-cons that come along with them.
.
BREATH(E) - @withthedemonblood    
A well-written, thoughtfully played-out vignette on brotherly bonds that captures both sides of a stressful situation.
.
SO WHAT - YOU LIKE HIM BETTER, OR SOMETHING? - @atwistoffate
It's a simple question, and it should be a simple answer, but when dealing with the Winchesters - can it ever be?
.
FOR CAS - @jhoomwrites / @casbakespie 
A stunning coda to the season twelve finale, looking into a focused, driven, yet serene Dean’s response after he rose from his knees.
.
THE LITTLE THINGS - @melissaj616
A nice little piece showcasing Dean's observations of a hunter colleague who could be more, but there's no rush on either of their parts.
.
GOOD BOYS - @defilerwyrm
A poignant look into an alternative history wherein John Winchester chooses to allow Dean and Sam to be adopted into a nurturing home, far from the supernatural - to say more would spoil, though rest assured: the ending will take your breath away.
MIDDLE-OF-THE-ROAD [around 1.5K - 2K]
SPRING BREAK - @winchester-family-business
Fun, witty, easy read of a story about that time the Winchesters showed up on the author's doorstep... and proceeded to drag her along for a helluva ride.
.
SHOCK HORROR - @lipstickandwhiskey
After Dean is dealt a blow by a witch on a case, his closest friend offers support and stays by his side, carefully navigating over, around, and through the initial stages of shock.
.
HALLOWEEN HIJINKS -  @roxy-davenport
This is a tale of what it's like for Crowley to date a younger [and in a centuries-year-old demon's case - *much* younger] woman, one who still gets excited for the supernatural crowd's least favorite holiday: Halloween.  
LONGER [2K to  3K-ish]
IMPERFECT - @zepppie
Lives weave together, then pull apart, happens every day - this is the story of a hunter looking back on the portion of her life spent with Dean, told with such fluidity your heart will be ached and be soothed, all at the same time.
DEEP DIVES [3K and beyond, including completed multi-parters with lengthy chapters]
😳  NOT EMPTY NOW - @sp-oops 
This is a heart-grabber, one that will make you think and laugh and sigh, the story of the evolving dynamic between a hunter and an archangel, featuring a pristinely characterized Gabriel from beginning to end - and it's a damn fine ending.  
.
😳  5, 6, GRAB YOUR CRUCIFIX - @butiaintgonnaloveem
A story rife with sexual tension built around a bartender's most recent entanglement with Dean - now with his inner demon in full effect -  written with a slow build that doesn’t limit its evocative nature to just the bedroom.
.
A HAUNTED LIFE  -  @idontneedasymbol
Deferring to the author's on-point, pitch-perfect summation: "Some hauntings require salt and fire. Others aren't that easy. Dean runs into someone he knows, and Sam tries to make things right."  What I call in my own works a "Behind-the-scenes canon compliant", this is a piece that fits that bill, as it rings absolutely true/plausible, and all characterizations feel real/accurate. 
.
A LESSON IN INTERNATIONAL ETIQUETTE [Part Two] - @imagines-oneshots-blog
A certain Mr. Ketch may very well have met his match in an experienced, no-nonsense hunter who can go toe-to-toe with him, be it in attitude, in wit - or in killing.
SERIES SPOTLIGHT : SUPERNATURAL & SPN CROSS-OVERS [works that are ongoing series with at least 3 parts already published / completed series]
Due to time constraints, series are not read in full. They are given a cursory once-over for the quality basics, most importantly that the author has put maximum effort into world-building. 
The first chapter / first handful of chapters / first third of the first chapter - depending on length - are read to ensure there are no gross grammar / spelling errors, as well as ensuring the story's premise is made clear.
Thorough summations of the overall series, brief summaries of each individual chapter, and master indexes are highly preferred. Descriptors below are taken directly from the author/the story, edited only for length/clarity if needed. Same applies to series from other fandoms featured on the list.
THE PERFECT CRIME  - @mysaintsasinner
"Another storm is on the horizon, a war unlike any New York has seen before, and [Detective Sam Winchester] is about to find himself smack bang in the middle of it. Secrets will be revealed, bonds will be tested, and the perfect image Sam held of his parents will be distorted forever."
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HUNTERS ON THE HELLMOUTH - @whatdoyouthinkmyjobis
[Supernatural + Buffy the Vampire Slayer]
"After a last-minute rescue from the clutches of Lucifer lands them in Sunnydale, California, the Winchesters run into an unusual hunter."
* Nominated for inclusion by @impandagrl , who said: "This exceptionally-written crossover series manages to believably blend the worlds of two of my favorite series while somehow nailing each of the many characters and treating them with equal care. It always leaves me anxiously awaiting the next chapter and is packed with all the action, humor, snark, drama - and occasional smut - that fans of either series should expect." 
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CELEBRATE ME HOME - @callmesweetheartifyoumeanit       
"If you took a moment to ask her how long she’s been driving, she’d tell you she doesn’t know. Not because she doesn’t remember or because she doesn’t know where she started, but because after a while, all the roads just sort of blend together..."
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SONS OF LAWRENCE  -  @mrs-squirrel-chester
[Supernatural + Sons of Anarchy]
"The Winchesters run the most notorious biker gang in Lawrence. They traffic illegal drugs, weapons, and anything else that makes them money and keeps them on top."
RANDOM FANDOMS  [all types, all lengths, all the things that aren't SPN but are still pretty dang super]
5/4/17, 18:00  -  @buckykingofmemes [Mod: @hellenhighwater ]
[FANDOM: Marvel - Avengers]
In which Friday kindly provides the transcript of a conversation between Bucky and Steve, so that a question may be answered with accuracy.
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WHO'S STEVE? - @bjorkshirepudding
[FANDOM: Marvel - Thor I & II / Avengers + HIMYM]
Have you heard the one about Steve Rogers walking into MacLaren’s Pub and running into Jane Foster’s research assistant Darcy Lewis, who’s sitting in a booth with Barney Stinson and the rest of the “How I Met Your Mother” gang… including that gal who bears a striking resemblance to Maria Hill?
* Unfortunately, this author has left Tumblr as of June 16th & the links have been removed so as not to cause confusion, however you can still find their [extensive!] body of work HERE at AO3, should you desire. - Nash *
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BECAUSE I COULD NOT STOP FOR DEATH - @withstarryeyes
[FANDOM: Marvel - Avengers]
A short vignette taking a look at a moment in Bucky Barnes' life, how it feels for him to just be, to simply stand amongst the living.  
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THE PART THAT COUNTS  (in-progress series, parts 1 -5 reviewed as of this writing) - @youre-on-a-starship
[FANDOM: Star Trek (current cinematic)]
"Two weeks after waking up with no recollection of the people and ship around you, you take your future in your hands and try to piece together your past and the events that lead up to you losing your memory of the last five years."
ORIGINAL WORK [anything from haiku to novella]
HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE MONSTERS - @rainygalaxynerd
A short pop of a gut punch to the senses, wherein the author drops you into the middle of a conversation - a situation - with no real bearings of which way is up, no way of knowing whose side we should be on, and then starts dropping revelations as fast as you can pick them up. It is bare, it is dark, it is gritty, it is unapologetic, it is chilling, and it reads like a scene straight out of a Scorsese flick.  
Happy reading & see you in July!
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