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billfarrah · 2 years

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So I finished my first Young Royals rewatch in a long time and I have thoughts - Part 1: Wilhelm

So I did not realize initially how much I would run my mouth so I’m actually going to separate my thoughts about the characters into different posts starting with Wilhelm. If this post does well, I’ll do it about the other characters too, because tbh I have a lot to say about everyone:

- First of all I cannot emphasize enough how much watching the whole series from start to finish just hits different. After so many months of just looking at gifs and photos, I am always blown away when I eventually rewatch the show as a whole by good it is. It’s the show’s vibes and atmosphere, cinematography, music, and fantastic pacing that make the show so compelling and that just doesn’t translate when you don’t watch the whole thing. I’m always worried I won’t like the show as much on my next rewatch and I’m always floored by just how much I love it every time.

- This point isn’t directly related to Wilhelm but I wanted to address it as I just noticed it this time. I’ve always suspected that the drugs the society are on in episode 4 are painkillers, but I’ve seen most people believing they were taking the ADHD meds. On rewatch, it’s very clear they’re using painkillers. In episode 2, I just noticed Simon steals Tramadol from Micke - which is a fast-release opiate painkiller. That can get you high as fuck. Many people take them recreationally as a way to get high and they’re a common source of addiction. Micke has a bad back we presume as Simon asks him how his back is in episode 1, but obviously Simon thinks Micke takes them recreationally. In the society party scene, the boys are taking the pills from the prescription bottles, which are likely also painkillers. So no, they weren’t using ADHD meds to get high; they were using opiates. Are these drugs illegal? No, but taking them for recreational purposes would definitely get you in a lot of shit if you were caught with them at a boarding school, or any school for that matter. As far as Simon only feeling responsible to pay Micke back for the booze and not the pills, I am not Swedish so I don’t know how it works, but from what I researched, one does not need to pay more than 2,300 krona per year for prescriptions, and most of Micke’s drugs were probably free as they are all prescription. Please correct me if I’m wrong.

- Anyway, I fucking love Wilhelm as a protagonist. I love how raw, gritty and unapologetic he can be. I could talk about his character for hours. He’s so nuanced and he rarely says what he is thinking or feeling, so I can understand why some viewers perhaps had a hard time connecting with him, but if you pay attention to his actions, everything he does makes sense without him needing to say a single word. I love that his sexuality is actually one of the few things about himself that he’s genuinely comfortable with; yeah, he has a few minutes of gay panic and he does push Simon away because he worries having a relationship with him would be too complicated, but Wilhelm’s feelings and sexual attraction for a boy is never the main thing he is concerned about and he is actually extremely comfortable with expressing that side of himself. He is elated by Simon, euphoric; he is electric with Simon beneath his hands. He’s in love with a boy and he knows it; that’s not what scares him - it’s the implication of what being in love with a boy means in the context of the rest of his life where the problem lies. It’s so refreshing to see a queer protagonist be so unabashed and expressive in his sexuality.

- Wilhelm’s dilemma is very clear despite, like I said above, him rarely verbalizing his feelings. The first episode makes his position perfectly clear - it’s not that he has an issue being a prince, he just hates how little control he has over his life, how little say he has in decisions that impact him, and the fact that he’s constantly being punished and scrutinized for the tiniest slip-ups. Wilhelm is ultimately just a person who wants control over his own life; he does not resent his privilege at all but rather the restrictions that come with it. When he gets into a fight at a party that wasn’t even his fault, he has to make a public apology and is sent to boarding school without being consulted by his parents, because they feel it is what he needs to do to save the image of the family. When he gets to Hillerska, Erik tells him essentially to just do whatever August tells him to do, even though Wilhelm clearly does not like August. When Wilhelm starts making his own friend in Simon, August is constantly meddling and telling him he shouldn’t be spending time with someone like him, and admonishes him for going to the football game with Simon and even gives him punishment for it. Even though Wilhelm is away from the palace and his family, he still has August there trying to act like he knows better than him and telling him how he should act.

Now enter Simon. As viewers, we have discussed at length how Simon completely shakes up Wilhelm’s world and perspective already so I won’t rehash that. However, there was one scene that stood out to me in connection with the above paragraph, and it’s one where Wilhelm does something that probably would be considered “bad” or a “mistake”, and Simon does not punish him for it. I’ve seen some people say Simon went too easy on him for calling him high and drunk on the football field, and I disagree; I think Simon’s reaction was exactly what Wilhelm needed, As I said above, Wilhelm is constantly being criticized and torn apart with consequences for even the tiniest or most minute thing, so for Simon to smile softly at him, tell him it’s okay and that he still likes him probably moved fucking mountains for Wilhelm. He did something stupid and he’s not getting scolded for it? Simon actually has compassion for him AND still likes him? No wonder Wilhelm immediately put himself between Simon’s legs. Wilhelm is a kid and he deserves to be a little bit reckless without being judged or admonished for it, and no, I don’t think him calling Simon was wrong or traumatic for Simon. Wilhelm was in a fragile state and Simon was concerned for him; he was not triggered, but I’ll get to that if I end up making a Simon post.

- Wilhelm is not shy. He has his moments of anxiousness and he is a bit awkward around Simon at first because he has a crush on him, but Wilhelm is actually very good at talking to people; he just doesn’t want to a lot of the time. He’s an introvert and he doesn’t really have patience for bullshit. I find people portray him as some shy little baby, but he’s actually quite blunt and curt sometimes in a way that I find amusing. He just genuinely has no patience for the frivolities and fakeness around him and while he knows how to play the game very well, he would rather just keep to himself than do so. His behaviour during his arrival to Hillerska is actually quite rude; he rolls his eyes when the PR lady tells him and the Headmistress to switch places for a better photo, utterly annoyed by the manufactured nature of it all. This isn’t me trying to say Wilhelm is a rude person; he isn’t and is actually very kind, but he isn’t always shy over expressing his displeasure; he just doesn’t do it all the time.

- People are too harsh on Wilhelm for most things, but one that stands out for me is his and Simon’s fight in the music room. Wilhelm came at the argument from a bad angle, yes, but he tries to make it right; unfortunately he struck a nerve with Simon and Simon walked away. He never once says he thinks Simon should take the fall; he just wants to have a dialogue with Simon over what their options are, but Simon was already angry and didn’t want to talk. He really did try to communicate with him.

- By the time of Lucia, Wilhelm is deflated. He is exhausted. He was terrified of losing Simon so he did what any privileged person would do, the only thing he knew how to do (and perhaps what was the only thing he could’ve done) - blame someone else. Simon still isn’t happy with him. Wilhelm doesn’t know what to do anymore. He feels like everything he does is wrong, he is wrong, he’s not cut out for anything. He doubts every decision he makes. All he wants is control over his own life but even when he takes matters into his own hands, it blows up in his face. This is why he was so easily manipulated into denying the video; he’s been through so much in such a short period of time and is questioning every decision he’s making. He doesn’t know what’s right or wrong anymore. Maybe his mother is right.

- I love that the writers weren’t afraid to make Wilhelm messy. To me there is nothing interesting about a protagonist that does the right thing every time because there is no room for them to grow. Wilhelm is such a fantastic protagonist because he has so much growing up to do. He makes mistakes and he’s a bit self-centered and caught up in his own world and he hurts Simon because of that, but he’s also motivated by incredibly pure feelings of love, passion, desire for his own autonomy and acceptance, control over himself and the things in his life. He is kind at heart but occasionally callous, he is anxious but also incredibly strong and powerful when he needs to be, he’s a giddy teenage boy in love but leaves Simon breathless with his confident mouth and hands. He is not just one thing all the time and that’s why he’s so exciting to me.

- During the scene where Wilhelm exposes August in front of the society, Edvin’s acting is particularly brilliant; we see that he has a powerful, assertive side to his personality, and is capable of being a leader, but you can also see in his body language and expression that he is a little bit anxious about it. His arms are crossed and his jaw twitches a bit; he’s working through his anxiety to do what he thinks is right, and we see him do this so many times throughout the series 0 most notably when he works through his anxiousness to connect with Simon, a boy he’s so desperately drawn to. He is not a shy uwu baby and he is not always crippled by his anxiety; it’s just a part of him.

This got away from me completely as I just have so many thoughts about this show. Please let me know if you’d like to me see talk about the other characters.

#young royals #prince wilhelm #wilmon #edvin ryding

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clarks-letterman · 4 months

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Wally anon: fdjdb the way you hate Eddie keeps killing me. 😂 But, I'd absolutely agree on the tonal inconsistency being the ultimate problem. That & the fact the writing seems to be, like...desperate to just flatly recreate the excessive nationalism in many 80s films & manifesting that with strawmen Russian villains just to make Hopper seem more "awesome" when that completely betrays the subversions the series started with. That also stands in opposition to how the mysteries were always meant to be motivated by more or less the same goal with slight genre differences. Cause you have Joyce & Hopper in literal Russia, El's plot being run from the government, & the Hawkins crew in an ANOES sequel. One might seem like it has the least stakes, but I would've rather completely followed the wannabe Freddy Krueger plot!

I imagine if he has his name sewn in, it's cause, somehow, his underwear used to go "missing" (it was him actually being too...excessive with them in private, & ripping them, so he'd throw them out to hide the evidence), so it became a matter of keeping track so he wouldn't have to keep getting new pairs (& he would've obviously stopped his...prevous activities cause he has an attachment to these now that his name is in them).

Oh yeah, that's one thing I'm worried about for sure. I don't think it'll be an immediate thing since I imagine it'll take awhile for her to get her body back + explain the situation to Simon. And IF that's the route they head in, I hope they don't just throw Wally out to the wolves like what tends to happen to the ~unchosen love interest~. It's why I tend to be opposed to love triangles cause you can always tell where they're gonna go. 🙅

lollllyeah, it's kind of funny cause I don't really actively think of myself as "tall" cause I'm just short enough to not be a giant but then I see an actual size difference between me & somebody else & I'm like, "Oh, yeah, that IS my height." 🫣 Also classified as a mountain for climbing purposes.

And he'd be right back in the same predicament in the bathroom when detention let out. Lesson not learned at all.

And you know if you tried to completely ignore him in class, he'd do whatever he could to get your attention. 👀 Oh, no, please continue with your thoughts on these "bathroom breaks." I'm very interested in what you have to say. 🤭 I know for sure multiple body parts would be tired as hell from all of the attention, though. 🥴

Oh, I know exactly what you mean. He'd be a menace after phys ed if you weren't physical with him yet. He already is anyway (which is why we love him), but him sitting back & watching you the entire gym period doing whatever it is you'd have to do day after day would have him thinking thoughts.

Yeah, I have a love/hate relationship with Eddie. I can see why people like him and he is favorable in some cases, but I don’t like him as a character and he’s just the poster boy for the show’s bad writing. I agree with everything you said, and I think it’s crazy that Joyce’s plot is russians when it just doesn’t line up with much else about her. El has the fact that she was on the run in season 1 and some of season 2, and with superpowers, her story feels inherently Sci-Fi related. I just wish we got more of the Hawkins crew tbh, they stayed at the heart of everything and made it season 4 the most interesting. The main thing I really like in season 4 is the fact that everyone’s split up, and not like in previous seasons where they were all running around the same town.

I wonder what caused them to rip🫣 it takes a bit of strength to rip elastic and cotton soooo… I wonder what he possibly did to get them to such an unwearable state?

Unfortunately the staging of the posters and cover image for the show on Paramount Plus featured Maddy, Simon, and Wally. I love me some Wally on the cover but it felt reminiscent of Twilight and not in the good way… love triangles were the only vibes I was getting from it. I’m just kind of hoping that they have a reversal of everything from season 1. She missed Simon in season 1 to the point where Wally felt stood up? Well, in season 2, she can’t get over her ghost friends and Wally. Hopefully they don’t do a love triangle.

Tall people>>> Sososososo good, doesn’t matter the height. I’m at a point where everyone’s a giant to me which is so funnnn (I love playing the keep out of reach game sm) Wally playing that and doing the “I’ll only give it back if you give me a kiss thing”

He only learned patience, nothing else. LMAO

The dude would bring back spitballing because that’s what his bully friends did. (He seems like the kind of guy to have friends who are bullies because he’s on the football team, but again, he wouldn’t stop them, just feel bad for the victim of it and move on) He might even become a menace and talk about whatever’s on his mind cause he knows you can’t tell him to stop or shut up or go away, you’d look crazy! At least if you forgot your AirPods or something (something that infinitely confused him) he could sing all those stupid songs from the early 80s and 70s that he knows by heart to get you through the lecture. Oh, he’d belt his heart out.

Let’s just say you’d be out of breath and your legs would hurt before you hit the school stairs (they’re such a workout and for what.) He has you kneeling and giving him a bj, your knees on the floor of the bathroom in the very last stall on the end. Somehow, all of that pain—sore throat, bruised knees, breathlessness—all carry through even if his cum splatter on your face disappears. Your face is still red as you picked yourself up off the ground and check yourself out in the mirror, the rules of being a ghost breaking. I’m definitely gonna have to write a fic about this…

You’re sweaty and worked up from playing whatever hell the coach decided to put a bunch of teenagers through. Yet, Wally’s sitting on the bench in your locker bank, looking crisp and ready to workout as ever. I feel like he’d tease you, knowing that you’re exhausted from 45-60 minutes of literal hell that is high school gym class. But seeing you in the same locker room—using the same locker as he did in the 80s (his suggestion, not yours)—reminds him of how he used to ogle guys from that very spot. Now, he’s doing it to you and he can’t take in enough of the sight. Jeez, these are really good fic ideas I may have to go on a writing binge tonight..

#wally clark x male reader #wally clark x you #wally clark #for sillies

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sickgraymeat · 8 months

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whats your opinion/take on marceline and simon's relationship?

Good question that I don’t fully know the answer to tbh shdbdbbs but I’ll do my best. I have tried to write about it but I think I’ve always kind of shied away from actually thinking about it too hard. If anyone reading this has read my fics, please know that I am ashamed of the way I tried to dance around everything related to him lol. I have so much more to say but it’s pretty painful and I’m not great at writing or completing a story anyway so I took the easy way out and pretended sometimes. As many of us do, easily, and joyfully even— this is me saying that Bonnie being happy to hear Simon’s call doesn’t mean her trauma isn’t real or that she doesn’t associate him with it. If you have to be around someone who hurt you a lot, you can get so good at faking it that you even trick yourself, especially in the moments when they’re around or mentioned. That’s just survival. Anyway!

I think he was a good caregiver and I don’t think he abused her (and I think shipping them is capital G Gross I wish I didn’t know that was a thing lol). I think him flirting with her in “I Remember You” (is that the right one???) is probably NOT a common occurrence based on her reaction. Marcy is obvs experiencing a lot of heavy emotions in that scene and she can be overly trusting, and I obviously may be wrong about that regardless, but my interpretation is that she wasn’t expecting that at all. Simon in his shoulder length hair era (like flashback in “Simon and Marcy”) actually hits super hard for me as a caregiver with a fucked up (dissociative and sometimes dangerously distractible) brain, and I think his caregiving is a really good parallel to Bonnie’s in that it’s something they do for themselves as much as for the ones they care for. Which isn’t to say that it’s selfish (and I can relate to some degree so I can’t really judge either way) but Simon clearly needed Marcy — in particular, needed her to need him — at least at that point. She gave him a sense of purpose and a reason to both live and avoid the crown as much as possible. Also evident in F&C. Not going into specifics jic but if you’ve seen it you know what I mean. He’s also just very much a dad, even to the point of treating his penguins (and NEPTR….. to an extent lol) like children, which again parallels Bonnie— they both created kingdoms where they not only rule but also love in a way that they alone can define. I think Simon’s dad-ness is probably partly just in his character, but also partly missing Marcy and wanting to atone for leaving her, and probably partly just Gunther wanting a father figure if the crown is in play.

Ultimately Simon was there for Marcy when she had no one else, and when she didn’t believe she was worthy of being loved and taken care of. He did an okay job, but she’s spent her life inflating that and idealizing the Real Simon (as opposed to Ice King, who I have to say is not a different person — based on his range of emotions and actions and fallibility, closer to Simon than the pure elementals are to their regular selves). For me, Simon using Hambo to make a portal and everything else about their interactions in that episode is a pretty good indicator that she isn’t his priority. He’s obviously in a hurry and under a lot of stress, but even in “Broke His Crown” when he acknowledges that, his fatherly feelings toward her are pretty patriarchal and not as thoughtful as her feelings toward him. Regardless, I think it’s good for them to have some distance. He was a good caregiver, and she probably needed to believe that he was perfect, but I’m guessing what they have now is more like friendship, and that’s probably for the best. She’s no longer dependent, and he’s not dependable. AND most importantly, friendship might allow them to see each other more clearly and have the conversations they’ve needed to about the times he hurt her and yeah maybe also about the times he hurt Bonnie and everyone else.

Sorry that was so long and thank you for asking!!!!!!!!!

#ask #anon #anonymous

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thimbil · 3 years

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Having some thoughts about the references and inspirations used for the Bad Batch’s designs.

So Boba Fett is my absolute favorite character and Temeura Morrison was perfect casting. I went to see the 2008 TCW movie in theaters because I was so excited to see him again, even if he was animated. You can imagine my disappointment. Whoever was on screen was not Temeura Morrison. You could sort of see a resemblance if you squinted and didn’t think too hard about it. They replaced Temeura with Racially Ambiguous G.I. Joe. If I didn’t know better and someone told me the animated clones are space Italians from the moon of New Jersey I would buy it. One Million Brothers Pizzeria and Italian Bistro. Not that there’s something wrong with being space Italian, I just don’t think it’s the right choice for the Fetts. The design got slightly improved by season 7 but it still bugs the hell out of me.

I did eventually get into the show later and (of course) got invested in the clones. Unfortunately, they were largely sidelined by the Jedi storylines. Out of the two new main characters created for TCW, Ahsoka definitely got more development and focus than Rex. When they announced The Bad Batch, I was excited to see a show specifically devoted to the clones… at least that’s what it said on the tin. We have all seen what lurks beneath those stylish helmets.

Jango Fett, you are NOT the father.

So who is?

Based on interviews with Filoni, it sounds like the Bad Batch was a George Lucas idea. And like all his ideas, it’s super derivative. The original trilogy directly lifted elements from sci fi serials, westerns, and samurai movies, more specifically Kurosawa films like The Hidden Fortress. For The Bad Batch character designs, the influence is obviously American action and adventure movies.

Now let’s get specific. Bad Batch, who’s your daddy?

Hunter

Sylvester Stallone as Rambo in First Blood 1982. That bandana has become an integral part of the iconic action hero look. You see a character wearing one and it’s a visual shorthand for either “this character is a tough guy” like Billy played by Sonny Landham in Predator 1987, or “this character thinks he is/wants to be a tough guy” like Brand played by Josh Brolin in The Goonies 1985 or Edward Frog played by Corey Feldman in The Lost Boys 1987.

Hunter’s model is closest to the original clone base. If you look closely you will see the eyebrows are straighter with a much lower angle to the arch. His nose is also not the same shape as a standard clone like Rex, including a narrower bridge. It’s certainly not Temeura Morrison’s nose. Remember what I said about space Italians? It didn’t take much to push the existing clone design to resemble an specific Italian man instead of a specific Māori man. The 23&Me came back, and Hunter inherited more than the bandana from Sylvester.

Crosshair

The long narrow nose, the sharp cheekbones, the scowl. That’s no clone, that’s just animated Clint Eastwood. Not even Young and Hot Clint Eastwood from Rawhide 1959-1965. With that hair, I’m talking Gran Torino 2008. The man of few words schtick and family friendly toothpick in lieu of cigar are pure Eastwood as The Man With No Name from Sergio Leone’s spaghetti westerns A Fist Full of Dollars 1964, For a Few Dollars More 1965, and The Good the Bad and the Ugly 1966.

In a way, this is full circle because the actor Jeremy Bulloch took inspiration from Clint Eastwood for his performance as Boba Fett in ESB.

Wrecker

In an interview Filoni lists the Hulk as an (obvious) inspiration for Wrecker. Ever seen the old Hulk tv show from 1978? Well take a look at the actor who played him, Lou Ferrigno. Would you look at that. Even has his papa’s nose.

You could make the argument that Wrecker was influenced by The Rock, an appropriately buff ‘n bald Polynesian (Samoan, not Maori) man. But look at him next his Fast and Furious costar Vin Diesel and tell me which one resembles Wrecker’s character model more.

Tech

Tech is a little trickier for me to place. If he has a more direct inspiration it must be something I haven’t seen. That said, his hairline is very Bruce Willis as John McClane in Die Hard 1988. His quippiness and large glasses remind me of Shane Black as Hawkins from Predator 1987. In terms of his face, he looks a but like the result of McClane and Hawkins deciding to settle down and start a family. Although, Tech’s biggest contributors are probably just everyone on TV Trope’s list for Smart People Wear Glasses.

And finally,

Echo

Oh Echo. Considering he wasn’t created for the Bad Batch, he probably wasn’t based on a particular character or movie. But if I had to guess, his situation and appearance remind me a lot of Alex Murphy played by Peter Weller in Robocop 1987. However, Robocop explored the Man or Machine Identity Crisis with more nuance, depth, and dignity. Yikes.

The exact tropes and references used in The Bad Batch have been done successfully with characters who aren’t even human. Gizmo from Gremlins 2: The New Batch 1990 had a brief stint with the Rambo bandana. I could have picked any number of characters for Defining Feature Is Glasses but here is the most cursed version of Simon of Alvin and the Chipmunks. Suffer as I have. Marc Antony with his beloved Pussyfoot from Looney Tunes has the same tough guy with a soft center vibe as Wrecker and his Lula (also a kind of cat). Hell, in the same show we have Cad Bane sharing Cowboy Clint Eastwood with Crosshair. I actually think Bane makes a better Eastwood which is wild considering Crosshair has Eastwood’s entire face and Bane is blue.

So we’ve established you don’t need your characters to look exactly like their inspirations to match their vibe. So why go through the trouble and cost of creating completely new character designs instead of recycling and altering assets they already had on hand? Just slap on a bandana, toothpick, goggles, and make Wrecker bigger than the others while he does a Hulk pose and you’re done. Based on the general reaction to Howzer it would have been a low effort slam dunk crowd pleaser.

But they didn’t do that.

So here’s the thing. I like the tropes used in The Bad Batch. I am a fan of action adventure movies from the 80s-90s, the sillier the better. I am part of the Bad Batch’s target audience. Considering what I know about Disney and Lucasfilm, I went in with low expectations. I genuinely don’t hate the idea of seeing references to these actors and media in The Bad Batch. I don’t think basing these characters on tropes was a bad idea. If anything it’s a solid starting point for building the characters.

The trouble is nothing got built on the foundation. The plot is directionless, the pacing is wacky, and the characters have nearly no emotional depth or defining character arcs. They just sort of exist without reacting much while the story happens around them. But I can excuse all of that. You don’t stay a fan of Star Wars as long as I have not being able to cherrypick and fill in the gaps. This show has a deeper issue that shouldn’t be ignored.

Why do the animated clones bear at best only a passing resemblance to their live action actor? In interviews, Filoni wouldn’t shut up but the technological advancements in the animation for season 7. So if they are updating things, why not try to make the clones a closer match to their source material? Why did they have to look like completely different people in The Bad Batch to be “unique”? Looking like Temeura Morrison would have no bearing on their special abilities and TCW proved you can have identical looking characters and still have them be distinct. In fact, that’s a powerful theme and the source of tragedy for the clones’ narrative overall.

Here’s Filoni’s early concept art of Crosshair, Wrecker, Tech, and Hunter. (Interesting but irrelevant: Wrecker seems to have a cog tattoo similar to Jesse’s instead of a scar. Wouldn’t it have been funny if they kept that so when they met in season 7 one if them could say something like “Hey we’re twins!” That’s a little clone humor. Just for you guys 😘)

None of these drawings look like the clones in TCW, much less Temeura Morrison. Let’s be generous. Maybe Filoni struggles with drawing a real person’s likeness, as many people do. But he had to hand this off to other artists down the line whose job specifically involves making a stylized character resemble their actor. Yet the final designs missed the mark almost as much as this initial concept. Starting to seem as if the clones looking more like Temeura Morrison was never even on the table. It wasn’t a lack of creativity, skill or technical limitations on the part of the creative team. I don’t think there is an innocent explanation. They went out of their way to make the final product exactly how we got it.

This goes beyond homage. They could have made the same pop culture references and character tropes without completely stripping Temeura Morrison from the role he originated. It was a very purposeful choice to replace him with more immediately familiar actors from established franchises and films. It wouldn’t shock me if Filoni, Lucas, and anyone else calling the shots didn’t even think hard or care enough about the decision to immediately recognize a problem. And I don’t think they believed anyone else would either. At least no one whose opinion they cared about. Those faces are comfortingly familiar and proven bankable. They are what we’re all used to seeing after all. They’re white.

Lack of imagination, bad intentions, or simple ignorance doesn’t really matter in the end. The result is the same. Call it what it is. They replaced a man of color with a bunch of white guys. That’s by the book garden variety run of the mill whitewashing. There’s no debate worth having about it. For a fanbase that loves to nitpick things like whether or not it’s in character for Han to shoot first or Jeans Guy in the Mandalorian, we sure are quick to find excuses for clones who look nothing like their template. Why is that? If you don’t see the problem, congratulations. Your ass is showing. Pull your jeans up.

#star wars #the bad batch #unwhitewashtbb #wrecker #crosshair #tech #hunter #echo

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comradekatara · 3 years

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the gaang + how well they would do on the infinity train?

this is suuuper hard because there are so many factors to take into consideration. first is obviously the train itself. the train's function in a metanarrative sense is to serve as a vehicle for storytelling, dissecting & deconstructing the process of a narrative and how a character's arc is propelled by their circumstances. the train supposedly functions to improve its passengers, and yet we also know that The Train is a deeply flawed mechanism that can corrupt and further traumatize its passengers just as much as it can "fix" them. when the train invites you in with the single-minded goal of getting your number to zero, assuming you ever disembark, you're probably gonna be left with even more trauma than when you arrived, or at the very least, weirder trauma.

grace wanted to be seen, but instead of learning to value herself for her own intrinsic worth instead of relying on validation from those around her, she was enabled by that validation and literally started a cult. likewise, since jet is basically a less heinous version of simon, i see him taking a similar path to the apex (though he would of course name them the freedom fighters) trying to overthrow the tyrannical one-one and reinstate the True Conductor. he would think his path is righteous. he would think he is protecting those kids from evil. who knows what would happen once he learns the truth.

then there is the matter of what the train wants from you. the train arrives at a pivotal moment in one's life, when they are at an emotional crossroads and need a catalyst for growth. for example, jesse's problem was relatively small (because he is perfect) but hurting his brother caused him emotional turmoil nonetheless, so the train stepped in. this means that to answer this question properly, i would have to answer not only when the train arrives for them, but why, and seeing that every single atla character carries massive amounts of baggage (most of it flavors of trauma that infinity train has not addressed), this proves extremely difficult. i have to identify the most narratively satisfying moment in each character's lives to have the train arrive, and then i have to make assumptions about which cars would propel them which way (emotionally). you're asking me to outline nine different fanfictions.

only jet's character feels similar enough to any of the characters we've seen in infinity train for me to even have an inkling as to what path he would take. while sokka and tulip are quite similar as people (rational, scientific yet creative thinkers who over-rely on logic over feeling, are deeply loyal, and instinctually blame themselves for the problems caused by others), their character arcs themselves have little in common. both aang and hazel experience a tragic loss of pure, childhood innocence (which is why i cry over both of them every day), but in relatively dissimilar ways (at least appa gets to return to aang). min-gi and zuko are both pressured by their upbringings to conform to a standard that makes them miserable to please their parents, only to ultimately embrace their own passion & truth... but not only do those arcs play out completely differently, zuko and min-gi are completely different people, and if anything, zuko's approach to life is far more like ryan's (ie, jumping off a cliff and hoping he lands on his feet).

but what i think you're really asking, at the end of the day, is how emotionally mature, self-aware, and capable of positive growth is each atla character? because how am i supposed to know what the train would do to their psyches, considering each external situation would shape them differently, and unless i'm supposed to meticulously craft fanfiction for each one of them (which i wouldn't be opposed to doing, but only for one character, i simply cannot do all nine – also, i'm surprised infinity train AUs aren't more common, but then again i'm not particularly familiar with fanficition, so maybe it is!), it would only be an approximation, in which i identify their core problem (which again, is not how real people work, or even how atla characters work, but how The Train works) and then analyze how long it would take for each of them to solve said problem.

so, that was a very long-winded preface. without further ado:

aang's main problem is that he keeps running away from his problems, which is to say, distracting himself from the enormity of his grief. personally, i would say his coping mechanism isn't the worst. after all, he experiences so much world-shattering pain in such a short span of time, and he does deserve to preserve his childhood and his innocence for as long as possible. but, for the purposes of the narrative, the train must necessarily disagree. he must confront his grief head-on, without distracting himself from it or flying into a destructive rage that he'd only regret later. it also depends on who his companions are. with katara by his side, he can get through anything (and vice versa), but it's unclear who will be there to guide him through his pain. that said, i know he'd make it through okay. he's aang. he has to.

katara lives in a fairytale. like i said with aang, that's not really a bad thing. she's a great kid with big dreams and a big heart. she wants to save the world, and – guess what! – she does. but living in a storybook strips one's worldview of the nuances of life, not simply the harsh realities of the world, but also the full extent of one's personhood, outside of simply the black and white worldview of heroes and villains. katara's apotheosis is when she confronts yon rha, looks him in the eyes, and sees a human being staring back at her, another human being. she is no longer in a revenge tale. she is out of stories to tell herself. (life doesn't make narrative sense.) ironically, the train is a metaphor for storytelling, so katara coming to realize that she isn't in a story would both be confusingly meta and also fucking brilliant (if i do say so, personally). i don't know how exactly it would play out, but by god i would pay to see it.

in many ways, sokka is remarkably open-minded, and in many ways, sokka is extremely stubborn. i think he'd come to terms with his own emotional growth (which would be rooted in learning his own self-worth) faster than he'd come to terms with the train itself. "okay, fine, yeah, i deserve love regardless of what i can do for other people, but WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS PLACE?!?!?" his journey through the train is actually everyone else's dream experience on the train. passengers and denizens alike keep falling in love with him (or at the very least, admiring him more than they've ever admired anyone they've ever met), but he doesn't even notice because he's too busy being extremely suspicious of everything he comes into contact with. yes, he'll solve your problems and puzzles and help people and make meaningful connections and eventually he might start to realize that he is worth something even when he's alone, even (especially) when he's being unconventional or "weird" or "selfish." but even once he does get his door, does he walk through it? oh no, he takes it apart and tries to figure out how it just created a fucking portal. so while he would technically "do" quite well, he is never leaving that fucking train. rip sokka.

well, toph needs to learn to accept and embrace her own vulnerability. she definitely goes through that same crystal karaoke car tulip did. that, or the train just tortures her by putting her in increasingly more painful situations in which she must ask for help. but that's too awful to even think about, so i'm just gonna say she has to sing karaoke.

zuko needs to learn to trust his instincts and his own internal moral compass instead of the external pressures being forced upon him by his Father (capital F to emphasize that his nation & his father – aka the patriarchy – are one & the same for him, lmao). and he would fail. a lot. but eventually he would realize that his number goes down when he lets himself be himself, and he would leave the train happy. he probably also gets a bunch of cute little talking animal companions to guide him through. he deserves it.

the train appears to suki while she's having a breakdown in solitary confinement at the boiling rock. she finds healthy ways to cope with being put through hell while on the train, and by the time she gets off, she's being let out of solitary. it is a very rewarding experience, and one that she can swear wasn't just some hallucination. she's constantly telling herself yes, of course it was just a hallucination.... but still... it felt so real....

if i had to diagnose azula with one singular problem that plagues her at the core of her very being, it would have to be her fear of rejection. but it's not good enough to just keep having train cars reject azula, she has to accept that rejection, instead of just intimidating people into submission after the fact. she needs to understand why she is being rejected, and be fine with it, and learn from it, instead of letting her lack of universal perfection in every area anyone could ever excel in shake her to her very core. when ty lee proved that she secured the affections of dumb stupid boys better than azula ever could, she did an arson to cope (which of course is still very valid of her uwu). azula needs to learn to come in second place, third place, even last place, and shrug it off, think to herself, "hopefully i'll do better next time, and if not, that's okay also," and once that happens, everything else will fall into place. though maybe she could read bell hooks or smth at some point on the train cuz i think that could help too.

mai needs to stop being so goddamn depressed all the time. has she tried lexapro, or perhaps using a lightbox in winter? her favorite coping mechanism, knives, only helps her feel something some of the time, but most (if not all) of the time she's still being expected to play a part. has she tried, like, being herself? i heard from zuko (you know, the guy? from the train?) that "being yourself" works wonders. so the train gives her that opportunity. and she actually even enjoys herself for once in her miserable fucking life.

omg there must've been some sort of mistake ty lee was totally sent here by accident because she's actually super happy all the time and doesn't have any problems!!!!!!!! jk, can u even imagine? ty lee hates her life too, she just doesn't go around advertising it like mai does with her big dyke boots and depressing eyeliner. but apparently she also needs to learn how to "be herself," whatever that means. as if life isn't a constant performance, you know, like jacques said or whatever. she sees mai on the train. she rolls her big beautiful brown eyes. "oh god, not you too."

#obeetlebeetle #fuck this took me over an hour to write #asks #the gaang and #analysis #AUs #synthesis #mailee infinity train au when.....#sokka is the only one who dies on the train. unfortunate. aunt wu was right once again.#god this question was hard #so many factors to consider #i want the mailee season tho #and i want it NOW!

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bleulone · 3 years

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i love your analysis so much! i have a question as well, like, how do you envision polin's sex scenes ? thanks for your answer (:

Hey! Thank you very much :)) I have no idea if they are that even good but I’m happy you like them. It’s just my brain tending to produce some iNsIGhiTfUL analyses though they usually end up drowned under a huge wave of stupidity and horrid spelling/grammatical mistakes XD. So, about Penelope and Colin’ sex scenes, I guess we’re getting spicy in this house 🌶. I mean, I don’t blame you. Who’s not hot for Polin ?! The steamy Polin hours have already begun and they’re legit challenging my patience. (Be still my Polin heart, be still).

Okay, without further ado, let’s talk about sex baby, shall we ? It’s a pretty long answer/meta so bear with me.

I don’t know if you’ve read Romancing Mister Bridgerton, but a quick reminder (for those who haven’t... yet), there are a bunch of iconic steamy scenes that I’m dying to watch on screen. First we have the famous “thank you” scene where Penelope, now a 28 year-old spinster, asks Colin to kiss her because she doesn’t want to die without having been kissed... then ends up thanking him— which happens to be humiliating for our 33 year-old boy because he thinks that she thinks he did it out of pity while he absolutely did not. The man definitely felt butterflies in his stomach... and in other places as well lol. We also have the ICONIC carriage scene where Colin gives Pen’s generous bosoms™ the attention they deserve. This is followed by his proposal. Later on, after the announcement of their engagement, there’s a pretty hot make-out scene on Lady Violet’s sofa. Finally, we have their first time in Colin’s bedroom, after sneaking out of their own engagement party... which leads Colin to push the wedding date forward. At this point, I just love their horniness, especially Colin’s who’s just so freaking amazed by Penelope for more than 300 pages straight (duh! who isn’t ???).

When you say envision, I suppose you mainly refer to the way those scenes will be filmed right ? I’m afraid I don’t have an advanced knowledge in film-making but let me start by telling you what elements need to be depicted. I would love Shonda and Chris to capture the real essence of our boos’ feelings : the yearning, the love, the respect and the guilt (specifically on Colin’s side) in their eyes. The more we move forward throughout the seasons, the more we see different layers of the perceptions of they have of each other, going from a childish idealization/immature ignorance to a sudden realization. A mature one. Penelope goes beyond the facade of the charming devil-may-care guy to meet the seriousness and temper of her significant other. Meanwhile Colin discovers how confident, powerful and attractive this woman is and always has been. It echoes what I’ve written about the importance of the gaze in Polin’s love story in this meta. By the time season 4 hits, man... their heart eyes and eye-fucking will jump OUT XD, all fibers of their beings, burning with need. The fact that this evolution took literally years is very emotionally painful, which is why I find it important to keep the slowness aspect of their relationship before and during their love making. I’m really looking forward a slow build-up toward their intimacy. It would differ from Daphne and Simon who merely shared one hell of a kiss in Lady Trowbridge’s garden then shared their sexy times after they married or Anthony and Siena’s rough sex... In fact, there’s a certain (sweet) ardent tenderness in Polin I like due to the fact that they’re slowly (re)discovering each other, as adults. Since they were both introduced in season 1, the audience will have all the time in the world to notice numerous evidences of the many natures of love they have for one another : from an affectionate and friendly love to a more carnal and enduring one.

Okay so, in terms of filming, with Netflix’s Bridgerton being a show which promotes the female gaze, it wouldn’t be that much of a surprise watching those sex scenes being shot from Penelope’s perspective, like it was the case with Daphne in the first installment of the series. Most of the time, sex scenes in Historical Romance are not gratuitous. Their presence serve an important purpose in a hero/heroine’s journey. In Penelope’s case, they’re here to help her learn to embrace and love herself. In other words, sexuality is synonym of freedom. I don’t know if they’ll show a lot of skin, but I won’t be complaining considering the fact that we’ll have the chance to get a chief kiss treat on screen : a plus size woman in a major successful Netflix period drama getting a love story as romantic and steamy as other more “fit” female characters. No, your weight doesn’t prevent you from being desirable at all. As far as I’m concerned, I haven’t watched a plus-size female character portrayed as an attractive protagonist in a period drama (please if you have, let me know, I can be wrong). Having a beautiful half bare curvy body like Nicola’s being equally filmed like numerous slim actresses will be so inspiring and powerful to watch, especially for (young) women who struggle, like Penelope, to love their body shape which, to them, doesn’t “fit” the “beauty standards”. By showing her female gaze and portraying her as seductive, Pen’s “supposed” imperfections transform themselves into mighty assets, loved and worshipped by our dashing Mister Bridgerton. That’s body positivity at its finest darling ;).

It will be deliciously erotic watching the undressing process being exquisitely slow, garment by garment, while their gaze are all heated and hungry. Their sex/make-out scenes should be tender and passionate, sweet and raw. The lightning, colored by a dark blood orange yellow or a blue depending the locations^^. Moreover, the depiction of the exploration of Penelope’s desire can translate itself thanks to multiple close ups. For instance, I can imagine a few ones on Pen’s fingers gently roaming over the smooth skin of Colin’s firm chest and back/touching his hair right after he removed his shirt. And a disheveled Colin letting his hands and lips making a journey of their own, mapping, conquering the alluring unknown territory that is her gorgeous voluptuous body... kissing her on the places he knows oh too well will give her pleasure (is this me wanting him to go down on her?— um yeah I sure hope it IS! If he doesn’t, trust me imma riot... AGAIN). Even a close up on her face while Colin is performing his addictively pleasing torment will be a marvelous proof of the female gaze. By the way, why not even adding a post-coital scene after their first time ? I can picture Penelope waking up first and contemplate her handsome soon-to-be husband. She’d bring her hand to his face and let it travel all around his forehead, his cheeks, his lips, his neck and let it rest on his heart— making sure that what she’s just experience was real... obviously, Colin will wake up in the process and he’ll take this as his cue to go for another round of sexy times under the sheets.

Showing Pen reaction is essential according to me because she was stuck with the idea that she would never experience the luxury of being loved, giving pleasure nor receiving it... she ended up being happily wrong. Throughout her multiple intimate encounters with Colin, I want her to progressively realizes that she can be an active partner. In the carriage, she knew she had an effect on him, but it’s not until their first time that she actually realizes it. Hence the reason why I WANT the mirror’s introduction in one of their sex scenes. Here’s as a little reminder an excerpt from chapter 18 :

“I want to see you sitting up," he groaned, "so I can see them full and lovely and large [about Pen’s breasts]. And then I want to crawl behind you and cup you." His lips found her ear and his voice dropped to a whisper. "And I want to do it in front of a mirror."

“Now?” she squeaked.

He seemed to consider that for a moment, then shook his head. "Later," he said, and then repeated it in a rather resolute tone. "Later.”

It would be such a shame if the show doesn’t use the incredible potential of this object (/kink). I mean, the symbolism is pretty clear. Penelope has always fled her “ugly” reflection but it seems like Colin wants to show the real her, the beauty that holds every single inch her alabaster skin and the effects they have on him. Thus, I would love to watch a scene where Colin just praises the alluring goddess and siren that is Penelope Featherington. Just imagine! Just IMAGINE the power of this scene : a shirtless Colin sitting behind her on a bed, meeting her gaze in the mirror, his lips touching her right ear, biting and licking the lobe sometimes, whispering all kinda of dirty yet poetic words to her while letting his hands caress her thighs, her hips, her arms, her lovely bosoms™... oof. At the same time, a wonderful and harmonic instrumental music will play in the background and match the melodic partition of shudders, breathes and moans let out by our lovers. I can imagine Luke inspiring himself from his performance in the 2019 short film, Youth In Bed. The way he conveyed the awe and the yearning on his face, in his eyes with his mouth slightly open when he knelt before his partner Shun Yin was just captivating and— and so Colin! I cannot help but bring myself to picture Ethan, the character he played in YIB, in a Polin steamy scene. I cannot unsee this anymore jsksk. I mean, all this gifset radiates this book4chapter18!Colin, you cannot tell me otherwise!

Also, I would love Shonda and Chris to keep Pen and Colin’s cute/emotional pillow talk. One thing I really love in JQ’s books is the concern she gives to her male protagonists about potentially hurting their partner during the act of penetration. Colin is a rake, and what his experience with women taught him is that he needs to be very gentle with the love of his life. It was so adorable seeing him not wanting to harm her and asking her to tell him if he does anything she doesn’t like 🥺. Plus, before actually doing it, Colin and Penelope shared a few kisses and just laid down side by side, confessing their love. Though our boy kept feeling guilty about not returning her love after all these years. He desires nothing but to make up for the lost time and show his love and desire during this special intimate moment. I hope they’ll keep all of chapter 18’s dialogue. It’s just so telling of our boos’ feelings, you see.

All in all, I can’t wait to watch those Polin steamy scenes. As much as I may sound crazy, I want them after two other seasons of pure pining and yearning in order to have a very good payoff. I’m not an expert on depicting intimacy on screen, but I loved so far what Lizzy Talbot, the intimacy coordinator who worked on the show, have done in season 1. Sex scenes in Bridgerton seem very real and dive you in the intimacy of the moment, leaving you all flustered and hot. So probs to her! I have faith in her work and have no doubts about what her and the directors will serve us in future seasons. Though, in the end, I think it’s mostly up to the actors, Nicola and Luke, to see if they’re comfortable filming sex scenes.

If you guys have any suggestions or wishes for those steamy polin scenes, please do share them :) by commenting on this post or by sending me asks! I’d love reading your thoughts/take on this very important matter ;))

#bleulone answers #meta and gush #polin #colin x penelope #bridgerton #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #polin meta #ask #anon #luke newton #julia quinn #nicola coughlan

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amphtaminedreams · 3 years

Text

Sitting Front Row at...(On a Budget Obvs): Lookbook no.15

Hey to anyone reading!

And welcome to my fave lookbook I’ve done in a longggg ass time! Yes, that’s partially because it involved making collages and doing the low effort work of scouring Vogue Runway for “research purposes”, but I promise, that statement wasn’t made out of COMPLETE laziness-I am super happy with it too. It’s been a good use of pre-part-lockdown-lift time in the interim between that brief period of Christmas celebrations and eateries finally fucking opening again because let’s be honest, I always knew I was gonna get distracted by oat milk vanilla lattes and veggie all day breakfasts once I could actually sit down with them at my fave local cafe. You could say I was very much operating on a self-imposed deadline.

The “what I would wear to sit front row at...[insert designer here]” TikTok/Instagram reel trend was something I wanted to get on board with ever since I first saw one and whilst the option of doing my own live action take-I really cannot bear the thought of having to edit footage of myself awkwardly attempting to sit nonchalantly in front of a camera for hours on end-was off the cards considering my complete lack of screen presence, I decided a Tumblr text post would work just as well, and if not even better in a way. Given the absence of the time limitations you face when you’re making a reel or a TikTok I thought it’d be cool to present the looks as part of a mini moodboard for each designer which adds a bit of context to each look even if you aren’t familiar with their past collections and establishes the general vibe of the brand I’m attempting to replicate. Not to sound snotty or as if I am the font of all knowledge on anything high fashion related but even with my amateur knowledge I noticed that as the video trend took off and was adopted by big name influencers, it became less about the average person putting their own personal spin on the aesthetic of the labels we can’t ordinarily afford and more about them building outfits that only vaguely resemble the general public perception of the brand around the real corresponding (and often gifted and thus inaccessible to someone who doesn’t makes thousands for a sponsored post) pieces they own SO I thought I’d take the trend back to its roots and get a bit resourceful. All that being said, in no particular order, here are the outfits I would wear to sit front row at Gucci, Vera Wang, Miu-Miu, Marc Jacobs, Dolce & Gabbana, Brock Collection, Alexander McQueen, Etro, Burberry aaaand Saint Laurent based on their past collections and guess what? They didn’t cost a shit tonne of money :-)

-disclaimer: will include an asterisk before any new purchases if from a high street store though to be honest, I don’t think there are any, we shall see! I do include where I got old purchases from in case anyone wants to search anything on Depop/Ebay-

1. Saint Laurent (formerly Yves Saint Laurent)

-blazer from identityparty on Depop, pleather trousers from Zara, jewellery from Dolls Kill-

I know technically abbreviating Saint Laurent to YSL doesn’t really make much sense anymore given the brand’s name change in 2012, but I’ll always think of it as that in the same way I’ll always associate it with the slightly dishevelled yet simultaneously glitzy rock n’ roll aesthetic. The thing is, whilst YSL hasn’t done anything wildly out of the box for a long time, it’s rare they put a look on the runway that I wouldn’t wear; they never end up being a fashion week standout but the Parisienne take on grunge we’ve seen Anthony Vaccarello establish as his go-to will always have a place in my heart.

2. Alexander McQueen

-embroidered leather jacket from Ebay (originally Topshop), harness from Amazon, dress from ASOS, boots from Koi Vegan Footwear-

Alexander McQueen is a brand that is pretty much universally liked, from the historically extravagant and groundbreaking shows the man himself put together to Sarah Burton’s more toned down but still beautiful collections. Obviously I didn’t attempt to do justice to the former, so I tried my hand at putting together a look inspired by Sarah’s blend of delicate femininity and nomadic edge, and it went...okay? Like it’s definitely not my favourite of all the looks because it does give off slightly cheap copycat vibes buuut outside of the context of this lookbook it’s cute.

3. Brock Collection

-boater hat from Ebay, midi skirt from morganogle on Depop, corset top from ownmode_, heels from amybeckett1, bag from Primark-

Brock isn’t as well known a brand as most of the others in this list but I adore everything Laura Vassar Brock does and I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to try and channel the vision of one of the OG pioneers of the cottagecore vibe through my own wardrobe. I mean fr, this woman’s work as a steady provider of meadow photoshoot worthy dresses and corsets and skirts is v slept on and I will not stand for it. I will sit in front of a camera and then write a paragraph in my blog post begging anybody who reads to give LVB (an abbreviation I acknowledge is unlikely to catch on because Lisa Vanderpump anybody?) some form of acknowledgement for her services to period romance novel inspired moodboards everywhere.

4. Marc Jacobs

-coat from House of Sunny, white shirt from Retro World Camden, co-ord from Sugar Thrillz, bag from Poppy Lissiman-

If there’s one thing Marc Jacobs always does, it’s COMMITS. TO. HIS. THEME. I just KNOW he has a secret Pinterest with separate boards for every fashion era of the 20th century and he is putting those boards to good use providing us with collections that are as immersive as they are eclectic year in year out.

5. Miu Miu

-beret from H&M, hair clips from H&M, jewellery from Primark, coat from mollyyemmaa on Depop, shirt from YesStyle, sweater vest from YesStyle, skirt from Depop, diamanté belt from Brandy Melville, shoes from Koi Vegan Footwear-

We all like to talk about Bratz dolls and Monster High dolls and Barbies as fashion inspo but can we all focus on Cabbage Patch dolls for two secs so as to acknowledge the fact that a Miu Miu collection is basically all their fits grown up? And made boujie as fuck? If I want my fix of Wes Anderson meets Scream Queens (what a combo) inspired outfits, if I want prissy and girlish but also glam, if I want to look like a bratty rich girl whose one redeeming quality is her eye for vintage clothes, I know where to look and that is the Miu Miu section of Vogue Runway.

6. Vera Wang

-blazer as in no.1, velvet bralet from catdegaris on Depop, harness from Amazon, skirt from Ebay, knee high socks from Ebay, lace up boots from Ebay-

Vera Wang’s RTW aesthetic, a blend of the ethereal, ultra-feminine bridal designs she’s known for and British style punk rock influences, is something I feel has only become firmly established in recent years but it is everything I ever wanted and more. I always find myself trying to balance the part of me that loves everything girly and delicate and pretty and the part of me that would love to be in a biker gang and Vera’s collections are always an inspirational reminder of just how well it can be done.

7. Burberry

-coat from charity shop, suit from emmafisher3 on Depop, top from simranindia, shirt underneath from Zara, jewellery from ASOS-

Now I’m not gonna lie, I’m not the biggest fan of Burberry but there have been a few looks over the past few years I’ve really liked and as someone who owns numerous trench coats, high necks and way too much plaid, I thought it’d be an easy one to replicate. Plus, if you can count on Riccardo Tisci for nothing else you at least can rely on him giving you some layering inspo which is very much needed in a country where it literally just snowed in April and where my plans for today have just been cancelled because the iPhone weather app did a Karen Smith and didn’t predict rain for today right up until it started raining so thanks for that one British meteorologists. Your incompetence strikes again.

8. Etro

-corset from Urban Outfitters, vinyl trench coat from Topshop, boots from Ebay, black slip dress from kaoanaoleinik on Depop, fur trim afghan coat from louisemarcella-

Like with Brock Collection, Etro isn’t a hugely well known brand, but it is always one of my favourites-to add a spanner into the works of any attempts to cultivate a firm sense of personal style, I live for the ornate Bohemian look that Etro does so well just as much as I love both grungy and girly pieces, and so I really wanted to include a brand whose collections go down that route. It was a toss-up between this and Zimmerman, the flirtier, free spirit counterpart to the dark romance of Veronica Etro’s designs; her vision really shines through the most when it comes to the brand’s winter collections, imo, and given that I live in a country where winter or some weather state resembling it does seem to take up 70% of the year, I did decide on channelling her work rather than that of the equally talented Nicky and Simone Zimmermann this time round.

9. Dolce & Gabbana

-flower crown from ASOS, tiara from Amazon, earrings from YesStyle, dress from alicealderdice1 on Depop, opera gloves from Ebay, boots from Koi Vegan Footwear-

D&G is a brand I felt really conflicted about doing-I don’t include their current collections in my fashion week reviews based on the actions of designers Stefano Gabbana and Domenico Dolce over the last few years because I don’t want to mitigate the collective effort of fashion critics to push them towards irrelevancy. Though people like to claim the brand has turned a corner since Lucio Di Rosa was brought on board as the manager of celebrity and VIP relations last year (they are as prolific a force on red carpet fashion as ever), we haven’t seen any real meaningful apologies or reparations made by Dolce and Gabbana themselves which once again leaves us in the all too familiar quandary of whether or not we can separate the art from the artist especially when it is far too much of a simplification to only credit the two men for their work given there’s a whole design team behind them. There are a LOT of shitty people working in fashion, the whole industry is a bit of a cesspit if we’re honest, but I don’t think that should stop us from at least being able to appreciate old collections if we make sure we aren’t engaging in any kind of promotion of current works whilst doing so. D&G are a brand of high highs and low lows, with looks that range from hideously ugly to showstoppingly beautiful in a single show-when the looks are good, they are GOOD-and their presence in the fashion world is most definitely felt whether we want it to be or not. It would just be shit to refuse to recognise the existence of some real iconic runway moments, the practical work that went into the ornate detail and opulence that helped cement D&Gs place in sartorial history, the styling that’s made goddesses and fairytale queens out of modern day women as they’ve glided down catwalks, the far more extravagant and, let’s be real, sexier version of our world D&G shows have transported us to in the past. Will I talk about D&G ever again? No, and if you Google the scandals their brand has faced over the past few years, there are more than enough reasons why, but just this once I did want to pay homage to some of the collections, the snippets of which I saw on my Tumblr dashboard back when I was about 13, that first got me into fashion.

10. Gucci

-fur coat from Topshop, clips from Zaful, glasses from Ebay, dress from gracewright246 on Depop, shirt from Boohoo, blazer from charity shop-

Now last but, if you ever read any of my fashion week reviews (the likelihood of someone actually having read one of them and reading this is incredibly, incredibly slim lol, I wouldn’t read me either) you’ll know, definitely not least, is Gucci because Alessandro Michele comes through every!! single!! time!!

The man is truly the king of quirky throwback maximalism and it hurts my heart that a lot of people seem to think of it only as a brand associated with ostentatious displays of wealth. Year after year since Michele was made creative director he has released purposeful, fully-fleshed out collections which unravel themselves to us on the runway like time capsules containing the belongings of the rich and whimsical and yes that can sometimes result in outfits which are *ahem* a bit mismatched but it doesn’t matter because through fashion he manages to take us to a vivid version of the past where people could dress as freely and lavishly as they wanted to, into the wardrobe of a person unaffected by the side-eyeing of others. You get the impression he doesn’t design so much as plays around with some kind of enchanted dress up box and takes inspiration from there and to give that impression is only a credit to his talent-to make outfits so kooky and extravagant look like they were meant to be takes a boldness and genuine love for clothes that I do tend to feel a lot of the big name designers have lost in the pursuit of profit and the necessary placating of the dying customer base that keeps that coming in. Of course I'm not for a second saying Gucci does not care about profit, but at the very least, they have on board a creative director who genuinely has fun with what they’re putting out there and wants to make a statement too and that really shows; you can rest on your laurels and sell tweed boucle jackets to rich old white women for eternity but nobody’s going to mention your brand name and the word groundbreaking in the same sentence ever again unless they’re talking about what it was a century ago, you know (mentioning no names...unless...did I hear someone say Chanel)? That feels like such a shady way to end, lol, but I’m sure said brand will survive-to be fair, they’ve been included in every other What I’d Wear to Sit Front Row At video I’ve seen so although I’m always slagging them off for doing the saaaaame thinggggg year after year, for that same reason their aesthetic is instantly recognisable and so will always be a source of imitation. There are obviously pros and cons to being a brand which constantly reinvents itself but I think it’s totally possible to do that whilst maintaining an overall mission, and Alessandro Michele’s work at Gucci demonstrates that with ease.

Anyway, if you got to here, thanks for reading! I know I’m super behind on this whole TikTok trend and I know a Tumblr post instead of a video is a bit of a cop out but all the real, physically awkward ones out there know that watching yourself back is excruciating lmao, so I hope this does the trick. After this, I’m gonna get back to the reviewing S/S21 collections post though knowing me I’ll probs take a few days to get back into that because I feel like since I left full-time education (RIP me going back in a few months) writing continuously like this for any longer than about 15 mins fries what brain cells I have left. Again, thank you for reading and if you are, sending many good vibes your way! Stay safe!

Lauren x

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crookedactor · 3 years

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DETROIT: BECOME BETTER

(Part 3: Connor)

Hello! This is my third, (but probably not final) Detroit: Become Human plot critique. But before we begin, I want to let everyone know that this post may not be as long as the others, since I'm actually quite happy with almost every aspect of Connor's story in the game.

As usual, disclaimers are needed: this is MY version of DBH, and if you have another version or you don't like mine, that's completely fine! Feel free to share it in the reblogs or even in your own post, just don't be rude. Thanks!

So just like the other posts, I'll do an outline of things I want to change in Connor's story, then I will rewrite it afterwards.

With that, let's begin.

So one of the only things I can think of that I dislike in Connor's story is how he deviated. Since his story is so focused around Hank, and getting to that father-son dynamic between them, the climax of Connor's story should include Hank. The fact that Connor deviated after a 2 minute conversation with Markus in-game, and not with Hank, never sat right with me.

I also, in general, want to see more of Connor's thoughts about deviancy. Throughout the game you see him in denial about his own deviancy and there are moments that the player can see him be like, "hey, I can really get behind this whole Android-freedom idea." But, we never really get a true insight into his thoughts about it, since he just swears that it's bad anyway. The game is literally called Detroit: Become human, so the objective is to obviously become human. If it was that important, Connor's specific thoughts and doubts about his own deviancy should be focused on way more. The only time we see a glimpse of Connor being frightened by deviancy, (especially deviancy within himself) is if the player chooses to find Simon on the roof instead of investigating the kitchen. If Connor finds Simon, he gets a glimpse into his emotions; He feels him die, and is traumatized. We need more of these moments. We can't just have Connor telling everyone that deviancy is bad up until the moment that he actually deviates.

So I think I'll add some moments where Connor is more personally/emotionally effected by deviancy; the highway scene with Kara and the Eden Club Traci's are 2 examples.

Him saying "I just decided not to shoot" (one option that the player could have chosen) when talking to Amanda about the Traci's never sat right with me. An Android can't just decide not to shoot. That's not how deviancy works. Connor has to see humanity in the androids he spares, he can't decide not to shoot them on a whim, or a hunch. There has to already be something in his progamming that allows him to empathize with them- having him not shoot the traci's for no reason is unrealistic. It's just lazy writing!!

I also want to change the scene where Connor deviates, as you would know if you read my other DBH plot critiques. I think I share this sentiment with a lot of other fans, but the deviant scene with Markus and Connor (or north, if the player got Markus killed) always felt flat to me. There are no emotional stakes. The one person who allowed Connor to feel emotions in the first place- HANK- should be the one to help him deviate. What connection do Markus and Connor have? What stakes (other than imminent danger) does Connor face if he deviates while Markus talks to him?

these are questions that don't really have an answer in-game. Canonically, Connor is very to-the-book, and is a stickler for rules. He isn't outgoing, a natural leader, extroverted, or otherwise emotional- AKA the things that would make it easier for him to deviate- so he would need someone, or something, to bring out enough emotion in him to deviate completely. Connor is cold, calculating, and introverted. Hank brings out the emotion in him, which is exactly why hank would bring out his deviancy, too.

So, with that, how would Connor's new and improved story go? Well, like I said before, mostly everything will go the same as it did in the game, because I overall like Connor's storyline the best plot-wise. His is the most logical out of the three, so I'll start with the more minor things I would change about his character.

The first thing is a general emotion I would like to add: empathy. Yes, we see Connor develop empathy for Chloe at kamski's house, but that's late in the game. For Connor to have true emotions that make sense with his cold, calculating character, we need to plant these seeds in his personality from the beginning.

Overall, I'd make him more empathetic. As a police detective, he would need empathy when deciding if a suspect is guilty or not, so it would make sense for him to easily understand both people and androids. Maybe we see this amp up the stakes at the Eden Club- he makes an offhand comment about how gruesome the man's murder was,how unfortunate it was for him to choke to death, or even "how it was a shame that the android died like this."

Hank would look at him and say something like "what's the problem? It's a piece of plastic, there's probably ten copies of her back in the storage room" (He's still drunk from the "Russian roulette" section of the game, so he's easily annoyed)

And he might even comment about how the android didn't die, it was just shut down. Connor doesn't recognize his error in judgement; I want this whole empathy thing to come to him naturally at first, and he only notices it when hank points it out after they leave Kamski's house. Empathy to Connor is completely natural, so he wouldn't question it (or he would forget to pretend) if he slipped up. Hank would notice, though. He probably would only say the thing about the Traci being plastic just to test him.

But that's where the player really starts to notice his empathy, and notice that Connor may be on the way to becoming deviant. Well, what about the Kara chase scene? What about the interrogation with Carlos' Android?

For that whole section of the game, I want everything to remain almost the same. I don't want the player to have an option to tell hank where that the Android is in the attic, (since it's too early in connor's story for him to empathize with androids that much) but I do want him to maybe hesitate for a moment. Let him be unsure, but for a split second. His eyebrows scrunch up slightly, confused at why he isn't so sure if the android should be brought in. He does it anyway, of course, but I still want that millisecond of doubt to be there.

Next is the highway scene with Kara. That moment where they lock eyes through the fence was very powerful, and I'm disappointed that the game didn't do more with it.

Maybe, in my version, he looks at her in the eyes and begins to say something- a signal to the cops to stop chasing her, perhaps?

I don't know, but he doesn't get the chance to say it. Kars sees the cop behind Connor and runs to the highway before he can get a word in. He doesn't take long to shake off the familiar feeling of confusion before he's running towards the highway, too, much to hank's chagrin. Or, if you want to highten the stakes slightly, you could make Connor stay behind the fence. Maybe he does this because Hank won't let him go, or because he doesn't actually want to chase Kara, I don't know. But, I think that's the scenario I'm gonna go with for the purpose of tension.

Connor doesn't get a chance to ponder his slip up until later, when he goes to reconcile with hank at the Chicken Feed restaurant. In-game, there's an option to ask hank why he didn't let him chase Kara on the highway, and hank tells him that he could have been killed. In my version, I want hank to follow up that statement shortly after.

"Why didn't you try to hop the fence earlier, though?"

Connor doesn't know what he means.

"What?"

"You took, like, a whole ten seconds to stare at her. Fuckin' creepy, watching two robots gaze into eachothers eyes. I thought you two were communicating telepathically or some shit."

Connor pauses, and makes up a half-true excuse.

"I was... examining it. Trying to decipher it's motives, and figure out what it was going to do next."

And that's pretty much it from both of them. Hank got the answer he wanted, so he goes back to eating his meal. Connor, however, has many things to think about.

This is the second time we Connor display empathy, but it still isn't really touched on too much. It's too early in the game for the player to truly notice his deviancy. But, until their meeting with Kamski, there's a lot of will-he-won't-he energy floating around.

I don't think that there's much I would change about their actual meeting, though, so we'll just move on to the moment that Connor deviates.

Yes, I do want him to be on the brink of deviancy when Kara and Markus speak with him. Since he's more empathetic, he would naturally be shaken by the suffering he's seen while in jericho. The wounds will be raw, so to speak.

But obviously, he doesn't quite get there. The police helicopter interrupts them, and Connor comes back to his senses just in time. He escapes Jericho only to find that hank had come looking for him; Turns out that Hank's opinion on Androids had done a complete 180, and he followed Connor because he didn't agree with him hurting people who just wanted to be free. Connor tells him that he wasn't, in fact, going to hurt anybody. Well, he was, at first, but since seeing everyone in Jericho, he doesn't know what to feel.

I don't know exactly how this conversation would go, but I feel like hank would be touched by Connor's willingness to help people in need. I also want him to connect both Connor and Cole together in some way, and inform Connor that he reminds him of his son. This of course is done in a long, sappy speil.

Hank takes a long time to gather the words (or perhaps, courage) to say what he needs, but after a minute, he says, "even when you were hunting down those plastic fuckers, you were determined to do what you thought was right. My son... he was like you, in that way. Always knew what he wanted, and when he saw someone who needed help, you couldn't tell him otherwise."

He'll chuckle dryly for a moment, reminiscing, and continue.

"he wanted to be a firefighter when he grew up. Said that he couldnt stand the thought of all those people in trouble, scared for their lives. I don't know where he got it from. 'Much better person than me, I'll tell you that."

Hank sighs, somber, and looks down at his feet.

Connor stays silent.

"He's what got me through all the tough times; he just wanted to do what was right. I admired that in him, and it made me better. Now, I think this crap that we're in is the exact same."

And, after pausing for a moment and turning to face Connor completely, he says, with a tone of finality not fit for someone like him,

"You're the same, Connor. Before, you were only doing what you were told. Now you're being shown something different. Which one will you choose?"

Connor doesn't know what to say. He doesn't even know if he should say anything. He goes to move towards Hank, to seek guidance from him, to comfort him, he doesn't know.

a command; big, bright red, and incredibly simple, keeps him in place.

"STOP KARA AND MARKUS"

He decidedly breaks through the controlling red walls bit by bit, and a new clarity floods through him at once. It's as though he feels everything and nothing at the same time. In between knowing exactly what to do, and knowing nothing about it.

He's confused.

Elated.

Scared.

Determined.

Connor looks at hank, and hank looks back. With a small, knowing smirk, he says,

"Go do what you need to do, son."

And he does.

Connor runs to go help other Androids off of jericho. He doesn't take as active of a role as he did in-game, but we all know he isn't the type to just sit around and wait for it to be over. He does whatever he can to help, and even guides some androids to the abandoned church where we seeJericho regroup later.

After this, everything goes the same as it does in-game until the end EXCEPT for Hank being held at gunpoint in Cyberlife tower. I never understood why the developers did that, except for the obvious reason that the player needed to know exposition about Cole when Hank questions Connor. Unless I'm forgetting certain dialogue from the game, I can't remember the reason that Hank would even show up to Cyberlife anyway.

Well, whatever. That scene goes just as it does in game, just smoother and without the second, more sinister version of Connor holding hank at gunpoint. I don't really know why the developers added him in this scene, either. He doesn't really contribute much to the plot other than raising the stakes.

So, Connor returns with the newly recruited Cyberlife army to aid Kara and Markus, who had just finished negotiating with the police and making speeches.

Obviously, there are multiple endings to the revolution, but for purity's sake, I'm sticking with the successful-revolution pacifist route because it's easier on my conscience.

And obviously, there is the post-credit scene that the player gets if they maintain "friend" status with Hank by the end of the game. I feel like, since Hank admitted to seeing Connor as his son, there can be another tier added: "family."

(Come on, that's so cute.)

~~~

But otherwise, I think that's it for Connor's Detroit: Become Human plot critique! I believe I covered all the bases I wanted to change, but let me know if there was anything else to add!

After this I might expand this series to other characters or aspects of the game, so keep your eyes peeled for those posts sometime in the future.

Also, I just wanted to say that I haven't read this over before posting it, so there might be errors with spelling, grammar, or general pacing of sentences. Sorry about that!

Anyway, I think that's all I have to write! Let me know if there are any specific characters or concepts you'd like my take on, and don't be shy to give feedback! Thanks for sticking with my long ass posts about this incredibly niche interest of mine.

Have a wonderful day :)

#dbh #detroit: become human #dbh connor #dbh hank #hank anderson #clancy brown #bryan dechart #video games #essay #ps4 #video game

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rhosyn-du · 3 years

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Never make a mess when a total catastrophe will do - Chapter Nine

Pairings: Jimon, past Clace, background Clizzy, a bunch of other minor background pairings Rating: Explicit Art: @cor321 Beta: @all-thestories-aretrue Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, fake dating, oh my god they were roommates, friends with benefits, idiots to lovers, pining, miscommunication, holidays, drinking games, mistletoe, symbolically significant Oreos, domestic fluff, brief mention of past character death, Jace’s self-worth issues deserve their own tag Summary: What do you do when you find out your sister is not only dating your ex and love-of-your-high-school-life but is also bringing her home for Christmas? Bring your annoying, hot, annoyingly-hot roommate as your fake boyfriend to show them you're totally fine with it, obviously! There's no possible way this could backfire. Link: AO3 , Tumblr Master Post

Chapter Nine

Wednesday nights at The Hunter’s Moon weren’t exactly hopping, but the small crowd would do for Jace’s purposes. The atmosphere was familiar, at least, and he wasn’t likely to find better at any of the other bars in town. He’d been on uncertain footing for months, not knowing how to be whatever he and Simon had been. But now, alone, unwanted, and with a soul-deep ache in his chest, he was finally back on familiar ground. This feeling, Jace knew exactly what to do with, and step one was getting very drunk.

He almost hesitated when he saw Maia behind the bar. She must have switched shifts with someone, because she didn’t usually work Wednesdays, and Jace wasn’t prepared for her too-knowing eyes or her pity.

But Maia greeted him with her usual easy smile, so either she didn’t know Simon had moved out, or she didn’t know him half as well as she pretended to.

“Wasn’t expecting to see you here tonight,” she said. “Isn’t tomorrow your god-awful early Latin class?”

Jace shook his head. “That’s Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Can I get a double shot of Stoli?”

Maia’s smile slipped, just a bit, but she nodded and poured his drink. “Starting off strong right out the gate,” she observed. “You want to talk about it?”

“Nope.” Jace tossed back the shot. The heat that followed it down felt less like the usual ripping off an emotional Band-Aid and more like rubbing salt into an open wound. “What I want is another one of those and to find some company for the night.”

Maia paused, bottle in hand. “Okay, no.” She wasn’t even pretending to smile anymore. “I can’t actually stop you from riding whatever self-destructive train you’ve decided to hop on, but I don’t have to enable it, either.”

“You’re a bartender,” Jace said flatly. “It’s your job to pour drinks.”

“I’m your friend, and I’m not pouring you anything else until you tell me why you’re in my bar looking for a drunken hookup instead of at home with your boyfriend.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Don’t be obtuse,” Maia told him. “Where’s Simon?”

Jace met her eyes. “Simon left. Can I have my vodka now?”

“What do you mean, ‘he left’? Oh god, did you guys break up?” And there, finally, was the pity he’d been expecting. At least it came with another shot of vodka.

“Can’t break up if you’re not actually dating.” Jace downed his shot. This one didn’t soothe any better, but at least it didn’t make things worse.

Maia gave him a flat look. “You’ve been sleeping together, exclusively, for the past five months.”

“That was just—” He shook his head, trying not to choke on words that he knew were true but still felt like a lie. “Just a couple hookups between friends.”

“Yeah, that’s complete bullshit.” Maia’s tone was so certain. Jace wanted to believe her.

“Don’t know why you’re so surprised. Simon and I hook up with our friends all the time.”

“No,” Maia said slowly. “You hook up with your friends. So does Lily. So do I, sometimes. But Simon?” She gave him a significant look. “Simon doesn’t do casual. He’s just a great guy who stays friends with most of his exes.”

Jace didn’t even try to hide the bitterness in his smile. “Guess I’m an exception to many rules.”

Maia’s voice was soft when she spoke again. “I don’t actually believe you do casual with someone you’ve been pining over for the better part of a year, either.”

Jace looked away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t bullshit me. Neither of us was actually drunk enough to have forgotten that conversation.” When Jace didn’t respond, she asked, “Why’d he leave?”

“Because he wants something real,” Jace told her. “And he doesn’t want it with me.”

When Jace met her eyes again, he expected to see pity. What he got was pure skepticism. “He said that?”

“Yep.” He lifted his glass. “Pour me another?”

She pursed her lips, then shook her head. “I’ll bring you beer.”

Jace sighed, but he didn’t argue. Maia was a much better friend than she was a bartender.

“You know,” Maia said when she returned with his beer, “I’ve known Simon a long time, and that really doesn’t sound like something he’d say.”

Jace lifted his glass in a toasting gesture. “Guess I just bring out the best in people.”

She sighed heavily, leaning on the bar. “Look, I wasn’t there, so I don’t know what you guys said, and he’s never actually talked to me about it, so I don’t know for sure whether he feels the same way about you that you do about him, but anyone who’s not a complete idiot can see he cares about you. That’s not something he makes any effort to hide. And Simon would never say something that cruel to someone he cares about. So, whatever he said? I’m pretty sure it’s not what you heard.”

“Did you just call me a complete idiot?” He needed to make a joke out of it because he couldn’t let himself believe what Maia was saying. He didn’t have it in him to hope again.

“Yes.” She nudged his hand with her elbow. “But you really should talk to Simon.”

“Don’t think just because you’re finally dating the woman you’ve been crushing on for ages that makes you some kind of relationship expert.”

“Oh, I don’t,” she assured him. “I just think I’m more of a relationship expert than you.”

Jace silently flipped her off, then pulled out his phone. He stared at it for a long time before finally texting Simon.

Can we talk? Please.

As soon as he hit send, he put his phone face-down on the bar and turned his full attention to drinking his beer. Maia gave him an approving nod before going to help the trio of customers that had just walked up to the bar.

It took Simon almost ten minutes to respond, and Jace wasn’t sure how to take it when he did.

Bat says it’s fine if you come over.

It wasn’t exactly a gilded invitation, and Jace was pretty sure he didn’t want to have whatever conversation he and Simon were going to have with Bat there, but it also wasn’t a no. Jace could live with not a no. He’d have to.

He caught Maia’s eye. “Close me out?”

“Sure.” She took his card and scanned it. “Where you headed?”

“Bat’s place. Simon’s staying there.”

He expected at least a little bit of gloating, but all he got was a smile and his card back. “Cool.”

Jace shoved his wallet back in his pocket and stood to put his jacket on. Maia stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Hey. If this doesn’t go the way you want it to, promise you’ll come back here to say I told you so instead of finding a different bar to drown your sorrows in?”

Jace scoffed. “Like I’d ever pass up a chance to rub it in your face that you were wrong.”

Maia gave his arm an encouraging squeeze before letting go. Jace downed the last of his beer and hoped he wasn’t about to fuck things up even worse.

~~~

“How did my place become the designated space for heartbroken sulking?” Bat asked when he opened his door to find Jace standing there.

“It’s because you have the best couch to crash on and the nicest gaming setup,” Jace told him. “Also because you’re too nice to kick your friends out even when we probably deserve it. Can I come in?”

Bat watched him for a long moment, then stepped back and let the door swing all the way open to allow Jace inside.

“I’m gonna run to the store to pick up some more chips,” Bat announced loudly. “I will be back in half an hour, and if any bodily fluids end up on my couch while I’m gone, you are both permanently banned from my apartment.”

“Dude,” came Simon’s voice from the direction of Bat’s living room.

“Just saying,” Bat said, and then he was closing the door behind him, leaving Jace standing in the entryway.

Jace took a deep breath to steady himself, then a second one before finally forcing himself to walk into the living room.

He found Simon on the couch, feet tucked underneath him like he always sat when he was upset. Simon didn’t look up, instead staring intently at the hole in the knee of his worn Boba Fett pajamas as he poked at the threads.

“Hey,” Jace said.

“Hey.” Simon’s eyes stayed trained on his knee.

Okay. This was fine. Jace could work with this. Probably.

He sat down on the far end of the couch and tried again. “Look, I know I’m shit at apologies, but I can’t even try if I don’t know why you’re pissed at me.”

Simon’s shoulders slumped, and he finally looked at Jace with red-rimmed eyes. “I’m not pissed at you.”

“Really? Because you’re acting kind of pissed at me.”

“I’m not—” Simon made a frustrated sound. “Okay, I’m kind of pissed at you, but I know it’s super unfair, and I’m, you know,” he shrugged, “working through it.”

“And when you’re done working through it, then you’ll come home?” Jace’s question sounded desperate, even to his own ears.

“I think—” Simon went back to studying the hole in his pajamas. “I think I’m going to spend the summer back in New York with my mom. Bat said I can crash on his couch for a couple weeks until finals are over.”

“Simon.” Jace was shaking his head, but Simon just kept right on going.

“I can—I can keep paying my half of rent until you find another roommate.”

“I don’t want another roommate.” I want you. Jace shook the thought away. That could wait. All that right now mattered was keeping Simon from walking out of his life.

“Look,” Jace continued, “I know things are kind of weird between us right now, but you don’t have to leave. We can fix this. We can just—just go back to how things were before, like nothing ever happened, and it’ll be—” It would be agonizing. Jace wasn’t sure he could do it. “It’ll be fine.”

“I can’t just go back to how things were before, Jace.” Simon’s glare was withering. “It’s not that easy.”

Jace ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “I know I fucked up. I shouldn’t have kissed you at Alec’s wedding, but I swear it won’t happen again.”

“You didn’t—Jace, we kissed each other at the wedding.”

Jace glared back, letting anger mask his hurt. “Then what exactly is the problem?” If he didn’t know what he’d done, he couldn’t fix it, and if he couldn’t fix it… “If it’s not about the kiss, then why the hell won’t you just come home?”

“Because I love you, you asshole!”

Simon looked almost as surprised by his own outburst as Jace felt. Jace stared. He couldn’t have heard that right. Because if Simon loved him, then he wouldn’t be glaring at him like he just kicked his favorite puppy. If Simon loved him, he wouldn’t have left.

“I love you,” Simon repeated, calmer now, “and I can’t keep pretending that I don’t.”

“Simon,” Jace croaked. His voice didn’t seem to want to work.

“That’s why I can’t live with you anymore, because I’m never going to be able to get over you if I do.”

“Simon,” Jace tried again, voice stronger now.

“And that wouldn’t be fair to either of us. But I think if I just take some time, and some space, then maybe I can—”

Jace let out a frustrated growl. “Will you please stop talking for five seconds so I can tell you that I love you, too?”

It was Simon’s turn to stare. “You—I don’t understand.”

Jace let out a bark of laughter that was half hysterical, half wonder. “Yeah, this is. It’s a lot.”

“But,” Simon’s voice was soft, vulnerable, “if you love me, then why don’t you want to be with me?”

“Simon,” he reached out to cup Simon’s cheek with his hand, “what could possibly have given you the idea that I don’t want to be with you?”

“You!” Simon’s voice was indignant, but he didn’t pull away, instead leaning into Jace’s touch. “You’ve said it like a million times! That you don’t date. That you’re not a relationship kind of guy.”

“Yeah, because I suck at it.” It wasn’t an easy admission to make, and Jace had to force himself not to cringe away from showing this much vulnerability. But for Simon, he would. “You were right when you said I don’t know how to be bad at things, and I make a terrible boyfriend. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be yours.”

Simon let out a choked laugh, winding his arms around Jace’s neck. “You were actually a pretty great boyfriend, even when you were just pretending.”

“Simon. I was never pretending.”

Simon made a wounded noise and dragged him the remaining inches between them into a kiss. It was messy and the angle was awkward as hell, but Jace wouldn’t have traded it for anything. He kissed back, putting everything he felt into it. And then Simon was throwing a leg over him to straddle his lap, and the angle—along with everyone else—was so much better.

“Dude, what did I say?”

They broke apart at Bat’s very annoyed question. Jace had been too distracted to even hear the door.

“Technically, we didn’t break your rule.” Simon’s grin was wide and bright and a little dazed as he disentangled himself from Jace. Jace suspected he was wearing a similar expression. “No bodily fluids on your couch.”

“I expect more than a technicality when your fluids are involved,” Bat said flatly. “And I’m happy you guys got your shit together or whatever, but please get the fuck out of my apartment now.”

“I think we were just leaving, anyway,” Jace said.

“Oh yeah,” Simon agreed. “We’ve got some, uh, stuff to take care of back home.”

Jace barely even heard the pained noise Bat made over the sudden burst of joy in his chest at hearing Simon call their apartment “home” again. Grinning like an absolute idiot, he let Simon pull him out the door and down the street toward their apartment. Toward home.

~~~

It took them far longer to get back to the apartment than the distance warranted. Probably because they couldn’t seem to go a full block without kissing, which inevitably led to making out against the nearest wall until one of them remembered that they actually had an apartment with nice features like beds and privacy.

“This is ridiculous,” Jace said half a block down from their building, ignoring the fact that he was the one who had Simon pinned to the neighboring complex’s laundry room wall. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Either kiss me again or get moving,” Simon said, grinding against the thigh Jace had between his legs. “I’d really like to get you naked before I have to leave for morning classes.”

With a put-upon sigh, Jace stepped back. “It’s really annoying when you’re right about things, you know that?”

“I know that you say ‘annoying’ when you mean ‘hot,’” Simon said with a smug grin.

“That is not at all a thing that I do,” Jace lied.

They managed to make it back to the apartment with no more detours and practically fell through the door with how eager they were to get their hands and mouths back on each other.

“Missed this,” Simon said between kisses. “Missed you.”

“It’s been like half a week,” Jace said, like he hadn’t missed Simon like he’d lost a limb, blood loss included. “And you’re the idiot who decided we should break up, so whose fault is that?”

“We weren’t even dating, you dick. I didn’t think you wanted to.” Simon pulled away then, suddenly serious. “You do want to, though, right? You meant it when you said you want to be my boyfriend?”

“I can’t believe I fell in love with someone so dense,” Jace said with an affectionate smile. “Yes, I meant it.”

“Okay,” Simon said, smiling back. “Cool.”

“Now that we’ve got that sorted out,” Jace leaned forward, lips hovering a hairsbreadth away from Simon’s, “can I please take you to bed already?”

Simon kissed him, quick and hard, before grabbing the lapels of his leather jacket and walking backward down the hallway, dragging Jace with him.

“I like it when you say please,” Simon said. “It’s definitely something you should do more often.”

“Yeah?” Jace used the fact that his own hands were free to unbuckle Simon’s belt while they walked. “You gonna make me?”

“I thought that was implied.” Simon pushed the door to Jace’s bedroom open and shoved Jace through it.

Jace took another step back, shrugging out of his jacket and tossing it vaguely in the direction of his desk chair. “You really think you can?”

“I’ve done it before.” Simon followed and slid his hands up beneath Jace’s shirt. “I can remind you how it went if you forgot.”

“Could have been a fluke.” Jace’s words probably would have been more convincing if his entire body hadn’t jolted when Simon’s thumbs very deliberately brushed over his nipples before moving to tug his shirt over his head.

“You’re right,” Simon said as he pulled his own shirt over his head. “We’ll need a bigger data set if we’re going to do a proper statistical analysis.”

“Less math.” Jace pulled open Simon’s fly and reached a hand inside his boxers. “More sex.”

Simon rocked into the touch. “I didn’t hear a ‘please’ in there.”

Jace snorted. “Bite me.”

“I mean, I was going to suck you, but if you’d rather I bite—”

Jace cut him off with a kiss. By the way Simon smiled against his mouth, he thought that might have been exactly the reaction he was going for. Jace couldn’t be annoyed by it, though. Not when Simon was making those soft, eager noises into their kisses while they divested each other of their remaining clothes. Not when every touch, every kiss felt like coming home. Not when they finally tumbled into bed and Simon kissed perfect and so hot and love you into his mouth and skin.

It wasn’t until Simon had him practically writhing with want, lazily fingering him while he traced patterns across Jace’s hipbone with his tongue, that Jace realized he’d meant it about making him say ‘please.’ The realization must have shown on his face because Simon, the utter bastard, winked at him before stroking his finger against Jace’s prostate, just once. It was almost as infuriating as it was hot.

Jace’s resolve not to beg lasted right up until Simon shifted so he could reach Jace’s other hip with his mouth, causing his own cock, hard and leaking, to brush against Jace’s calf. Knowing that Simon was just as turned on as he was, it was too much.

He rocked his hips down as Simon added a second finger, trying desperately to get some pressure where he needed it. The stretch felt good, but it wasn’t anywhere near enough. “Are you waiting for a gilded invitation?”

“You know what I’m waiting for,” Simon said mildly, cheek just barely grazing Jace’s cock as he lowered his head to place an open-mouthed kiss on the seam of Jace’s thigh.

“Fuck, fuck, fine,” Jace panted. “Please.”

Simon didn’t waste any time to gloat, swallowing him down to the root in one smooth motion at the same time that he crooked his fingers to press against Jace’s prostate. Jace let out a strangled sob, fighting to keep his hips still and failing miserably. If Simon’s answering moan was any indication, he didn’t mind in the slightest, so Jace stopped trying, losing himself in the heat of Simon’s mouth, the perfect pressure of his fingers.

He glanced down, needing to see, and was very nearly undone by the sight of Simon’s lips stretched around his cock, the obvious enthusiasm for what he was doing. Simon caught his gaze and swallowed—very deliberately—around the head of his cock. Jace let out a keening noise as his body shook and he spilled his release down Simon’s throat.

Simon kept working him with mouth and fingers until it was just pushing the edges of too much, and then he was crawling up Jace’s body to kiss him, needy and desperate, as he jerked himself off. Jace had just enough presence of mind left to kiss back, to slide one hand between them to join Simon’s on his cock until Simon was shaking apart above him, painting their hands and stomachs with his come.

“See?” Simon said a few minutes later, still half-breathless. “I knew I could get you to say ‘please.’”

“Fuck you,” Jace mumbled without any real heat, too fucked-out to muster a proper comeback.

Simon gave him a crooked grin. “Next time, I should make you ask nicely, though.”

Jace thought he probably shouldn’t be as into that idea as he was, especially since he’d just come, but he absolutely was, his mind spinning out an elaborate vision of what that would be like. Not that he was going to admit it.

“Shut up and cuddle me,” he said instead.

Simon’s answering smirk said he knew exactly what Jace wasn’t saying, but he didn’t argue, curling his body into Jace’s with a contented sigh.

“Hey,” Jace said quietly. “I love you.”

He felt Simon’s smile against his shoulder. “I love you, too.”

Eventually, Jace knew, they would have to move. They were both in desperate need of a shower, and he should probably put something in his body that wasn’t alcoholic if he didn’t want to feel like death in the morning. But for now, he was content to stay like this, wrapped in the arms of the man he loved. And when they did finally make their way out of bed, he’d be fine with that, too, and whatever came after. As long as Simon was beside him.

#shadowhunters #shmb2021 #jimon #jimon fic #jace wayland #simon lewis

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simonalkenmayeris-still-dead · 3 years

Text

CC1 - The Myth

OR why am I subjecting myself to this nonsense?

As I have mentioned, a friend of mine began reading The Book, and sent me some choice excerpts. I became intrigued. Not because it’s good, it actually seems pretty creepy, but because I think Si accidentally wrote a paranormal romance.

So before we even start the book, there’s a disclaimer. IDK if it was in the original book. It begins “Dearest Gentle Reader,” which is not a great start if I’m the one reading because I hate that sort of affectation in writing.

Like, if someone writes “dear readers” in a fanfic, it has to be really good for me to continue reading.

This disclaimer is basically saying that although 2012 was such a long time ago, and Simon was an ignorant fool when he wrote this, he can’t be bothered actually editing it properly, so please forgive him ahead of time if he did something wrong.

If you ever find yourself writing something like this, you need an editor.

Just so you know, nothing happens in this chapter. It’s supposed to be an introduction to Simon and how he’s a monster, but you do NOT need a whole chapter for that.

Simon also really needs an editor. There are multiple sentences in this chapter that lack correct sentence structure.

For example, in the first paragraph we have this “Yes, I eat people, though the correct term is anthropophage”. For this sentence to make sense, anthropophage would need to mean “eating people”, as in the act of eating people, it would need to be a verb. So, when I google this, which Simon tells you to do, I get this result

An anthropophage or anthropophagus was a member of a mythical race of cannibals

So anthropophage doesn’t refer to the act of eating people. It’s a noun. It refers to not just cannibals (which Simon maintains he isn’t) but a specific race of cannibals.

That sentence makes no sense. And there are plenty of similar sentence constructions throughout this chapter. I’m not going to point out all of them, except where they affect the narrative, because we’d be here all day.

After Simon begins his “succinct” first paragraph, in which he repeats himself four times, he decides to open with how we must be feeling.

As many of you may know by now, I am not a fan of being told how I must feel, whether that is to my face, in a blog post, or in a book, so he’s losing me.

I also really hate Simon’s “voice”, because it’s really inconsistent. He veers wildly between what I assume the author thinks is some sort of period affectation, and modern English, when he could have chosen one.

This is partly because the person writing doesn’t have a style, and partly because they haven’t had their work edited. And because Simon doesn’t research. The best way to mimic a style of writing from a certain period is to read things from that period. You can’t just shove words like “one” or “quaint” into your writing and expect it to sound authentic.

Anyway, Simon’s long and belaboured point, is that everything we think we know about monsters is wrong. He spends another 3 paragraphs reiterating this and then passes up the opportunity to use the phrase “you may not believe in us, but we believe in you.” This is a good phrase, human minds like repetition. Instead we got “you may not be afraid of us, but we are still here.”

Disappointing.

Then we have some maths and may I just say, if maths is not your strong suit, do not try to put it in your book.

Simon has heard that up to fifty thousand people go missing every year. He doesn’t know that, he’s just heard it, so from the outset, he’s not even using facts.

For some reason, he thinks missing people must either be murdered or assume a new identity. Those are the only two options he has.

In reality, a huge number of missing persons are not exactly missing, they’re people escaping abuse situations, and they get reported missing by their abuser. Those people aren’t assuming a new identity or dead.

Simon also thinks all humans dump corpses in national forests. I don’t know why he thinks this. I expect there’s a lot of cleanup after dumping someone in a park. Would it really be worth your while to drive all that way when there’s probably somewhere closer in a city where you could get the job done? This is what cement boots are for, right? I also don’t think murderers go to all that trouble of dumping a body just to leave it out in the open like that. They’re going to at least dig a grave.

It’s also apparently unfeasible that anyone could adopt a new identity without a single hitch. But you don’t actually have to adopt a new identity seamlessly to “go missing”. The going missing part is just where you drop your old identity. Hitches in adopting a new one are a separate issue.

Or maybe I’m just sensitive to this because I’m trans.

And then, in explaining why he isn’t going to claim his species is completely responsible for all missing people… Simon cites two things that do not cause people to go missing as examples for humanity’s awesome cruelty.

Awesome? Not awful? Okay then.

I understand that he’s trying to make a point, the theme of the book is obviously “humans are more monstrous than a real monster”, but the point loses something if you make it with a stupid example.

Oh and then we come to my favourite part of this chapter.

It is an experiment. A point. An argument for the furthering of knowledge. Mixed with a little boredom, if I am honest. You are a test subject. By reading this, you give consent to tell me what I need to know.

An experiment isn’t supposed to be making a point, Simon. That’s not what experiments do. Also, what is that last sentence? Is he a mind reader now?

I think Simon may be a little fixated on the “by <performing act> you give consent” concept. But if you are telling someone something, you’ve presumably given consent. The act of communicating with someone actually implies more consent than reading a book.

Now I’m gonna skip down to the part where he decides I don’t believe him. I hope this telling me what I think isn’t going to continue all through the book because I’m not sure I can handle it.

Also, Simon really wishes this book had ended up on CW network. I know this because he says how disappointed he would be if that happened. I personally wouldn’t write anything about the possibility of my book being adapted for screen in the book itself. It kind of sounds like you think it’s your due when it’s really not. Or like the only reason you wrote the book was to get rich off it.

There is one notable part of this chapter, and it’s this

If you are hoping to hear my account of slavery, you should know that I was fixated upon the flavors of meat raised in the terroir of Virginian tobacco plantations, and didn’t even notice the skin color of any given human.

We all know how Simon would excuse this, he’d say it’s not his fault he’s a monster blah blah blah. But honestly, this is racist. Even setting skin colour aside, is he trying to tell us he didn’t notice some humans were being treated as chattel? I would think that’s something he would need to keep abreast of, considering he says he targets his food according to whether they’d be missed.

He also says his purpose isn’t to rewrite our past, which gives a great indication of what he thinks the past is (all the big events you learn about in primary school, no society and culture). But that’s exactly what he wants to do.

Skipping down some more, over the part where he says if I find him funny, to consider he may not be kidding – it’s okay Simon, I’m laughing at you, not with you – and the part about diaries being a proper pursuit. Even past the insult about mentally ill people.

BECAUSE THEN WE GET

“harangue me about being a second-rate author; but please be polite.”

Does Simon know what harangue means? It means a tirade. It’s not polite.

Another paragraph about how we shouldn’t care about his feelings because he doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks. And this next bit.

“You are encouraged to embrace this tale however you see fit, communicate with its author any way you can”

Except, apparently, from creating a tumblr blog, that is very wrong.

And that’s it! Literally nothing happened. Hopefully things get more exciting in Chapter 2.

#the creature's cookbook #ch1

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azdoine · 2 years

Note

😐👀🖊

😐 What embarrasses you most about your own writing?

haha, just nuke me right out of the gate, huh?

the executive function/commitment problems are real, but those are a little more wide-reaching than just putting words on a page. something which embarrasses me about my writing in itself is probably... my dialogue?

I’m not bad at tracking characterization and personalities in my head, but distinct speaking styles are harder, and I have a habit of using my characters as exposition mouthpieces or pushing them into unreasonably bespoke debates.

👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about?

ah... well, um, I won’t say I’ll never let it see the light of day, but I’ve definitely got something I wouldn’t otherwise promote or publish on my main accounts.

it’s a PMMM SI/OC romance - less as something I’m unironically interested in now, and more as a love letter to a time and place in my life when I sort of was. if nothing else, I also want to explore some of the writing conceits (and blatant copes) I’ve seen from other SI romance authors in recent years.

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP.

What is a woman meant to think, when the Devil steps out of the pages of a bible she doesn’t even believe in and tells her he has a job for her? When he tells her that she can have everything she’s ever wanted and everyone she’s ever loved, if only she tithes all other things in creation to him?

The foolish woman takes his words at face value, and allows herself to be seduced into darkness. The wise woman remembers that he is a conniver and a father to lies, and turns her back upon all his works.

The worldly woman understands that her tempter is bound to reason, as all things are, and cannot escape the implications of his own existence. Their arrangement is no more an epic for Johann Faust than for Simon Flagg. It exists not because it is being written as a story - though it may be written, all else being equal - but because someone found it necessary to see to fruition in their own reality.

Perhaps my dubious benefactor in ‘the Company’ was the Devil, and perhaps he wasn’t. I couldn’t say either way, and neither alternative really changed anything. The questions that mattered were more and less fundamental.

All the tithes I could offer my benefactor were less than ash to such a being as he claimed to be. What use was kidnapping, to a master of demons who could raise men and women out of the void like wheat from the earth? To a master of oracles who could pluck all true names out of nothingness, and of sculptors who could fulfill those images to the last? What use was shareholder value, to men who could rule forever as private kings in heavens of their own making?

And all of these questions I could have asked of him, but I hadn’t - not just because there was no reason to give him any ideas, but because it was pointless. The second purpose of a system is what it’s meant to be, and the third purpose is what it claims to be, but the first purpose of a system is what it does, and all the writ in the world had only confirmed that what his system did was give people an excuse to be evil.

It wasn’t slaves he wanted, for himself or for anyone else; it was me he wanted, and he wanted me to enslave. This was what he cared about, and I would not do him the disservice of pretending he was such an exquisite fool as to lead himself as far and deep into ineptitude as he hoped to lead me into temptation.

So why, then, had I been left a way out at the last? Walled in by one page of corporate soundbytes after another until there was nothing left for me but to rape and pillage, and then permitted an escape in a handful of paragraphs that were obviously all but written on a napkin by someone else’s hand?

I wasn’t smart for having outwitted him; I was lucky at best, having been given the chance to defy him, or misled entirely at worst, having been deluded into optimism.

But if my enemy wanted only to lead good men into iniquity, then he would simply raise true heroes up into omnipotence and curse them by the same measure to always be left an Omelas, and in so doing create Gods to cast scapegoats into Hell, and in so doing solve the problem of evil by being greater than God altogether.

That my enemy wanted something as eccentric as this proved it couldn’t be so simple. That something as eccentric as this could come to pass, could be the purpose of anyone’s system, proved my enemy was nothing so majestically vast.

It meant he was human, or bound by something like humanity; it meant he was imperfect, or bound by something like imperfection. If not in what he was capable of, then certainly in what he desired above all else.

That was the way he was going to die.

And if I was a fool to believe that I wasn’t at the end of my rope and strung up on my adversary’s strings, then that was a burden I would have to bear, because that was just the human delusion called “faith”.

#my writing

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365days365movies · 3 years

Text

February 19, 2021: The Phantom of the Opera (2004) (Part 1)

I love musicals.

Hands down, when talking cinematic adaptations of musicals, my favorite is Little Shop of Horrors. I’ve seen it MANY times, and will see it many, MANY more. And I’m not the only one. I mean, obviously, but in this case, I’m referring to my girlfriend. She’s chosen to represent herself with a GIF from her favorite musical, Hairspray. So, here she is:

Ravishing. Now, because it’s currently our anniversary, I let her pick today’s movie from my list. And so, she chose a musical that neither she nor I have seen: 2004′s The Phantom of the Opera. And some of you may now be saying, “What, this guy said he liked movie musicals, and he hasn’t seen TPotS? That’s like saying you haven’t seen Grease, or Singin’’ in the Rain, or, PFFT, West Side Story!”

...About that...

Yeah, yeah, I know! It’s insane, and I’m a hypocrite. I’ll be getting to the rest of those eventually, and one of them’ll be coming in the next couple of days, I promise. You can probably guess which one. Anyway, fact of the matter is that we’re gonna watch it tonight, and I’m looking forward to it.

However, there’s another factor to this, and that’s the fact that this film...doesn’t have the best reputation amongst fans of the original musical. And, yeah, this should ideally be the Michael Crawford version, but the Butler version is the one I have access to, so we’re going for it. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

Paris, 1919, back when the whole city was in black-and-white for a year. They lost the budget for color after World War I. Anyway, at an old opera house, an auction is taking place, and items found within the theater are for sale. One of these is a music box with a monkey on it, an item which sponsors a bidding war between an older woman, and an older man in a wheelchair. I’m sure we’ll find out who they are eventually.

Anyway, a broken chandelier is also up for option, and was involved in the mysterious disaster of the “Phantom of the Opera” fiasco. They turn it on with electric light, and as they raise it to the ceiling, the organist goes fuckin’ NUTS. The song’s so loud that it REVERSES TIME, and we’re now in color, in the year 1870 at the same opera house.

The theatre, managed by the soon-to-retire Monsieur Lefèvre (James Fleet), has just been purchased by Richard Firmin (Ciaran Hinds) and Gilles André (Simon Callow), who are there to observe. On stage, a rehearsal for the opera Hannibal is taking place, and the costume’s are already...like, a LOT, not gonna lie. The headliner for the show is soprano (and drama queen supreme) Carlotta Giudicelli (Minnie Driver), and is being funded by patron Raoul, Vicomte de Chagny (Patrick Wilson).

The background dancers are instructed by Madame Giry (Miranda Richardson), and include her daughter, Meg (Jennifer Ellison), and her adopted daughter, Christine Daaé (Emmy Rossum). As the rehearsal takes place, an accident happens on stage, almost injuring Carlotta. Enraged, she leaves, and refuses to perform.

Meanwhile, Madame Giry finds a letter from the Phantom, who demands his normal monthly salary of 20,000 francs, as for Box 5 to be left open. While the new owners think that this is ridiculous, they also note that it’s pointless without a lead singer for their show.

However, Christine is volunteered, and shows that she is indeed a talented singer. The show goes on, and Christine is a smash, much to Carlotta’s dismay. At this point, Raoul also discovers that this is his long lost childhood friend (and possibly long lost love) Christine, which she also noticed earlier.

But this is because of a mysterious teacher, who sings to her from the walls of the theatre. Meg comes in to congratulate her (through song), and asks who her tutor is. Meg responds...in song (”Angel of Music”).

Afterwards, Madame Giry also congratulates her, and tells her that the Phantom is pleased with her. Right after, Raoul also pays her a visit, and the two reconnect on shared memories of times in an attic in the summer. She tells Raoul that she is visited by an Angel of Music, and cannot go to the dinner that night with him. And the Phantom agrees, as he locks Christine in her room. YIKES.

And as literally every person in the theatre except Christine leaves, the Phantom serenades her, angered by Raoul’s presence, and Christine’s potential dalliance with him (”Mirror”). And through the mirror, he takes her to a mysterious crypt beneath the theatre. And as they sing their strange duet in the form of the title song (”The Phantom of the Opera”)...I try to resist talking about Gerard Butler until later. And it’s hard. It’s SO hard, guys.

But, OK, he takes her away on a...sewer horse...how the FUCK did he get that horse down there? And wait, WAIT, does he put her on that horse to walk her, like, 20 feet to the gondola? Like...WHY DO YOU HAVE THE HORSE? That is...monumentally wasteful. Where do you keep the horse? Does he feed the horse? How much? How often? With what? Does the horse eat the sewer rats? Is there naturally growing sewer hay? Does the Phantom’s salary go towards buying food for the horse, or buying new horses when the original ones DIE OF STARVATION - WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THIS HORSE?!?!? WHOMSTVE THE FUCK

And yes, I love this fuckin’ song (not the singers, but we’ll get there), but this is distracting me alongside the statues of naked men in the sewer, because...well, Joel Schumacher. What can I say, it’s kind of his aesthetic. Anyway, we get officially introduced to the Phantom of the Opera (Gerard Butler), a very handsome-looking man who likes wearing a half-mask.

I say handsome, because the Phantom in this movie, looks...fine. HE LOOKS OK. HE LOOKS LIKE A DUDE WEARING A MASK. What, did somebody throw a hot candle at his face once, and he freaked out over it and ran into the sewers forever...WITH A HORSE? NOT OVER THE HORSE SHIT.

Look, the Phantom is supposed to be HIDEOUSLY scarred. Famously, in one of the film adaptations of Phantom, actor Lon Chaney Jr. purposely distorted his own face using adhesive face in order to play the role of the hideously disfigured character. Now, other versions have just given him severe, and I mean SEVERE burn scars. But behind the mask, Butler looks...fine. HE LOOKS FINE GODDAMMIT. He looks like he’s wearing the mask because it looks edgy and shit.

But OK, what’s happening in the movie? Oh, right, more serenading (”Music of the Night”), with another song that I like quite a bit. This and the previous song were songs Id heard before, and that I’d already had on my playlist. They’re great, what can I say? Now is Butler doing it justice? Ehhhhhhh, we’ll talk about that in the Review.

During this song he kinda seduces her, or attempts to, and also shows her a wedding dress. She sees herself in it and IMMEDIATELY faints, Jesus! Curtain falls on Christine while she’s in a bed, and we go back to her room, where Meg is looking for her. She finds the mirror, and is about to go back there, but her mother finds and stops her.

Meanwhile, stagehand Joseph Buquet (Kevin McNally) tells the chorus girls of the legend of the Phantom, and describes a physical description that doesn’t match him...even a little. We cut back to Christine, who wakes up in what my girlfriend refers to as a “bomb-ass HQ.” Which is fair, let’s be honest. Anyway, she heads over and tries to unmask her new masked lover (?).

He’s not the biggest fan of this, and he emos all over the screen (”Stranger Than You Dreamt It”). And then, as he puts his mask on, we suddenly (and I mean suddenly) jump to 1919, where the old woman, Madame Giry, bids farewell to...wait, that’s Raoul? HOW DOES HE LOOK SO MUCH OLDER THAN HER, WHAT???

Back in the past, inexplicably, the theatre owners and manager sing about the theatre and the Phantom’s demands ("Notes..."), and are soon joined by Raoul, who brings them a separate note, saying not to look for Christina any further. THEN, Carlotta joins them, delivering a letter of her own from the Phantom, warning her not to return to the theatre.

In his letters, he details how his theatre is to be run, threatening a disaster if Christine is not cast in the lead role, and if Carlotta is not cast in a silent role. However, the theatre owners and Carlotta refuse to obey, and Carlotta is cast in the role, as the owners try to appease her (”Prima Donna”).

That night, during a performance of Il Muto, Carlotta’s singing the lead role. Additionally, Box Five is full, and the Phantom is PISSED. So, like a Phantom do, it’s time for some good old fashioned petty revenge! He switches her throat spray, causing her to lose her voice on stage, and causing the audience to laugh when the show ends abruptly. They quickly and publicly recast the role, giving it to Christine instead. Well, mission accomplished by the Phantom! Guess we’re good without retribution. And then he hangs the stagehand.

Well...fuck, man. Realizing that the Phantom is EXTREMELY dangerous, Christine goes to save Raoul, who she...is in a relationship with now? Wait...wait, hold up, the fuck did I miss? I mean, yeah, he probably is gonna kill Raoul, but there is, like, NO lead-up to their connection before this point.

Anyway, as Christine explains that there is a Phantom when Raoul says he doesn’t exist...wait, WHAT? MOTHER FUCKER BUQUET JUST NOT MURDERED IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY WHAT IN THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN????? YOU LITERALLY HEARD THE...you know what? Break. BREAK. This is...this one’s tough.

See you in Part 2!

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angelsfalling16 · 3 years

Text

My (un)Bloody Valentine

My fic for @m-xdd-y for the @snowbaz-sweethearts-exchange. Thank you for being so patient even though I’m several days late. It was really nice to meet you and be paired up for this event! <3

I’m not sure a Valentine’s Day-themed murder mystery is quite what you meant when you asked for angst, but I hope you like this!

Read it on ao3

Summary: Bodies of Normals keep showing up at Watford, and Simon is sure he knows who is killing them. That is, until he finds his prime suspect kneeling beside the body, all the proof he needs, but finds himself wondering if maybe he had it wrong all along.

Word Count: 5481

Warning: I don't think this fic is too graphic, but there are mentions of blood and missing hearts, so please proceed with caution.

***

Part 1: The Suspect

Simon

“There’s been another one,” I say to the Mage.

“Another what?”

I growl because he apparently hasn’t been listening to me at all for the past five minutes.

“Another dead Normal.”

He waves me off as he flips through some papers on his desk. “Normals die all the time. What’s so special about these?”

“Their bodies were found in the Wavering Woods.” The magickal side of the woods. It doesn’t mean that it couldn’t have been a Normal who killed them, but it does make it less likely. “Someone is either killing them and dumping their bodies in the woods, or they’re wandering into the woods and someone—or something—is killing them.”

“They’re just Normals. Why do you care?” He doesn’t sound the least bit concerned by any of this. He actually sounds more annoyed than anything.

“They’re still people even if they don’t have magic. And they’re being found on school grounds. Doesn’t that make it your responsibility to do something about it?”

“Look, Simon. I have a lot going on. I don’t have time to deal with a couple of Normals who wandered into the woods and didn’t come back out.”

“There have been six of them so far. And they were all drained of their blood and missing their hearts.”

The Mage’s eyes widen slightly at that, but it’s the only sign that he has any feelings about this.

“We could move their bodies to the other side of the woods and let the Normal authorities deal with this.” I can’t believe he’s actually serious. Doesn’t he care at all?

“That doesn’t seem like the right thing to do. Shouldn’t we—?”

He slams a book down on his desk, cutting me off before finally looking up at me. His expression is harsh, and I can tell before he speaks that my efforts here are fruitless. He isn’t going to do anything about this.

“Enough, Simon. I have enough on my plate dealing with the Old Families. I do not have time to deal with some idiotic Normals on top of that.”

I glare at him for a long moment, searching for something to say, but it’s pointless, so I turn and walk out of his office. There’s no use fighting with him. He’s obviously not going to do anything about this.

That’s fine. I’ll figure it out on my own. I’m pretty sure I know who’s committing these gruesome murders anyway.

It’s the same person I’ve been suspicious of for years. I should have known that one day his evilness would turn into murder.

I’ve been watching him closely ever since the first body was found, and I’ve compiled a list of facts that prove that Baz is the one committing these murders.

Proof Baz is killing Normals and dumping their bodies in the Woods:

No. 1: He’s a vampire. It easily explains why all of the victims have been drained of their blood.

No. 2: He’s been staying out until all hours of the night recently, sometimes not coming back until just before sunrise.

No. 3: He’s been taking a shower almost every night when he returns, and he tracks in dirt everywhere, which he cleans up when he thinks I’m sleeping. He usually takes his showers in the mornings, which must mean he’s wanting to clean off something that can’t wait. Like blood. And all of the dirt serves as proof that he’s spending his nights out in the woods.

No. 4: He’s evil. He tried to take Phillipa’s voice in fifth year, and she had never done anything wrong to him. He definitely wouldn’t care about hurting some Normals he knows nothing about.

No. 5: He hasn’t been acting like himself. He seems more withdrawn and tired than usual, and when he sneers at me, it’s missing most of its usual venom. It’s like there’s something bothering him so much that he doesn’t care about anything else anymore. (Being a serial killer will do that to a person.)

All of this has me convinced that it’s him, but it isn’t enough to convince anyone else because I don’t have any actual physical proof. No one believes me. Not even Penny.

She does at least seem concerned about all of the dead Normals, but she doesn’t believe it’s Baz who’s killing them. I tried to convince her, but she thinks I’m “too blinded by my obsession with him to see things clearly”.

I told her that I’m only obsessed with stopping him, but she rolled her eyes at me and still refused to help me prove it’s him, so I’m on my own.

Part 2: The Proof

Simon

This most recent body that was found has pushed me to work harder to find the person who did this because I was the one who discovered it. I knew that there were dead Normals in the Wavering Woods, but the details of their condition were kept a secret. So, when I stumbled across that body, almost literally stumbling on it, I couldn’t move.

The scene was gruesome. The body had been left lying half-hidden in some bushes, and there was a gaping wound in its chest where the person’s heart had once been. I wanted to scream out, but I couldn’t make a sound. I was too afraid that whoever had done this was nearby and would come after me if I did.

After that, though, I was determined to stop whoever it was, even if it meant putting myself in harm’s way.

It’s been a week since then, and I’m still not any closer to proving that Baz is the killer. I haven’t just been focusing on him—I’ve had other suspects—but he is still my prime suspect.

A body has been found every day since the first one was discovered, and it’s only a matter of time before one is found today, so I refuse to take my eyes off of Baz. I can’t let him kill another Normal.

He went to classes as usual, but at teatime, he heads straight for the woods. I wait a moment before following after.

I followed him into the woods a couple of nights ago, but I’m pretty sure he knew I was following him. He wove through the trees in circles, with no apparent direction, until I couldn’t catch my bearings. I was sure we were lost but after nearly two hours of that, he led us back out of the woods.

I don’t feel too great about the possibility of experiencing that again, but I would feel even worse if he killed someone and I didn’t try to stop him.

His pace is quick and purposeful as he makes his way through the woods. He seems so sure of his path that I wonder if he has already tied up a victim out here somewhere and is just now going back to take care of them.

A few feet ahead of me, he makes a quick turn into a thick patch of trees and bushes, and I pick up my pace to try to keep up with him. I turn where he did, but I don’t see him anywhere. I hurry forward, looking around for any sign of him, but everything is still and quiet. It creates an eerie feeling of both being all alone and being watched by a million pairs of eyes.

I slow my pace but keep moving towards where I think Baz went. I wander slowly through the trees, hoping to see or hear something that will help me find him.

As a couple of minutes pass and I still haven’t found anything, a lump forms in my throat, and my heartbeat quickens as I imagine all the awful things Baz could be doing right now to some poor sod.

I summon my sword and start thrashing it wildly about, clear the path in front of me so that I can push through the woods faster. I probably look like a complete madman, but I don’t care. I have to stop Baz before he hurts anyone else.

After what seems like forever, I slice through some low-hanging branches and step out into a small clearing. It’s only a few meters across, but the trees block out most of the light, which makes it difficult to see much.

At first, I don’t see anything, but as I take a few steps forward, two figures come into view on the opposite side of the clearing. I slowly move closer until the scene is clear. There is a limp body lying on the ground, a gaping hole the size of a fist in its chest, and someone is kneeling beside them. That someone is dreadfully familiar.

I gasp loudly, unable to stop myself, and Baz whips his head up towards me, his fangs bared.

I can’t believe it. I can’t believe I was right all along. Baz is the killer.

“I promise you this is not what it looks like,” he says, his words slurred because of his fangs.

“I don’t believe it,” I say, feeling queasy.

I was certain it was Baz but thinking it and seeing it are two completely different things.

I think there was a part of me that didn’t want to believe it was really him, didn’t want to believe he was capable of such horrific things, didn’t want to believe he really is a monster.

Being a vampire didn’t inherently make him a monster but this—these killings—are so much worse than being a vampire who feeds on wild creatures. It’s brutal and cold and unthinkable. I don’t understand how he could do it.

But here he is crouching over a fresh dead body, blood still pouring from the gaping hole in its chest, and the proof is irrefutable.

Baz did this.

He killed those Normals, and I have to stop him before he kills anymore.

“You killed them,” is all I can think to say.

“No. I didn’t. I know what this looks like, but you have to believe me, Simon. Please.”

He stands up, and I have to fight the urge to take a step back. I’ve never heard Baz plead with anyone before, so it’s strange that he’s doing it now.

Maybe it’s because he’s trying to keep himself out of trouble. But I won’t fall for it. I won’t let him get away with this.

I shake my head. “No. You did this. I know you did.”

“Are you sure?” He asks, and when I nod, he asks, “How sure are you? They will kill me for this if you turn me in, whether they have proof or not, so you should be absolutely certain before you run off and tell someone.”

He’s trying to trick me. I know it. I just… For some reason, I want to believe him. I guess I just don’t want to feel like this is my fault.

If only I had kept up with him, I could have prevented this from happening.

I shake my head again, hoping to clear away the doubt he has planted in my head before it can grow.

“You won’t fool me that easily. I know you did this.”

“Simon,” he says, and his voice is so soft and desperate that it steals my breath away. He rarely uses my first name, and he has definitely never said my name like that. “Look at me. Look at this scene. Really look at it. Do you honestly believe that I could do something like this?”

I take a deep breath and look at him then at the dead body and back again. I can’t stand to look at the scene before us for too long because it’s too gruesome, but I take a few long moments to study Baz.

His expression is hard, but there’s something vulnerable in his eyes, like he’s silently pleading with me to believe him.

It’s too much, and I have to look away, so I let my gaze fall down.

He’s still wearing his school uniform, same as me, but his somehow looks nicer. It never seems to wrinkle, and it doesn’t seem to have a spot of dirt on it even though he was just kneeling on the ground.

That’s what stops me.

If he had just killed that Normal, carved their heart from their chest, wouldn’t there be blood all over him? He could have cast a spell to clean himself up, but then, where’s the heart?

It’s not enough to wipe away my suspicions, but it is enough to make me doubt. Which I suppose was his plan, but it only means that I’ll have to keep an even closer eye on him tomorrow. I won’t let him hurt anyone else, but I also won’t turn him in until I know for sure he’s killing these people.

“Fine,” I say through gritted teeth.

“You believe me?” He almost sounds surprised.

“Not completely. But like you said, I need to be sure before I tell anyone. I’ll just have to get more proof.”

He nods once then says, “Alright,” before quietly adding, “thank you.” If I’m not mistaken, he looks relieved.

I only hope I haven’t just signed a death sentence for another Normal.

Part 3: The Truth

Simon

I don’t get much sleep that night. Baz and I walked in silence back to the castle, and after we reported the body we found, he disappeared down to the Catacombs and didn’t return to our room for hours. I kept having to stop myself from going down there to keep an eye on him.

I get up bright and early the next day to make sure Baz doesn’t sneak off. It’s Saturday, so there aren’t any classes today, which means I should be able to keep my eye on him all day.

It’s Valentine’s Day, but I’m not sure how everyone can be so cheerful when these murders are taking place so close to our school.

If the victims were mages, I’m sure everyone would be scrambling. Parents would be picking up their kids; classes would be canceled; it would be a whole ordeal. But no one except me seems to be at all bothered by the murders. They haven’t even cordoned off the woods. It’s like they don’t even care for anyone’s safety.

The only person besides me who doesn’t seem in a cheerful mood is Baz, who seems to be moodily stomping his way all over the school.

I manage to keep my eye on him all morning and through lunch, but eventually I have to use the loo.

“Will you watch Baz for me for a minute?” I ask Penny.

“Why?” She asks, already looking annoyed at the mere mention of him.

“I want to make sure he doesn’t hurt anyone while I’m gone.”

She rolls her eyes at me but says, “fine. But all I’ll do is watch. I’m not interfering in this.”

I smile gratefully at here and hurry to the loo. When I return, I don’t see Baz anywhere.

“Where’s Baz?” I ask Penny, an edge of panic worming its way into my voice.

“He left a minute ago,” she says matter-of-factly.

“What? Where did he go?”

“I think he was headed towards the woods.”

“And you didn’t try to stop him? Or go after him?”

She sighs. “Simon, this is ridiculous. Baz is not a murderer. You need to face the truth.”

“I have faced the truth. Baz has killed thirteen Normals, and it’s only a matter of time before he kills another.”

“That’s not what I meant. I meant the truth about why you’re really obsessed with him.”

I frown. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

She nods solemnly. “I know, and I’m only saying this because you’re my friend.” She pauses briefly before saying, “You’re oblivious. You are completely oblivious to your feelings for him.”

“I am completely aware of how much I hate him,” I tell her.

She rolls her eyes. She does that often. “It’s more than that. You like him, and I think that if you really took the time to think about it, you’d see what I mean.

I want to stay and argue with her about this, but I have to go after Baz.

“I don’t have time for this,” I say. “I have to go after him.”

She shakes her head but doesn’t try to stop me when I turn to leave.

I take off towards the Wavering Woods, running as fast as I can and hoping it’s fast enough. I don’t even stop to consider the possibility that he might have gone elsewhere. I know he didn’t.

I have my sword drawn before I pass through the tree line. I keep running, blindly making my way through the woods. My movements are too loud for me to hear anything, but I can’t risk slowing down.

I have to keep moving. I have to keep running.

I have to stop Baz before he hurts anyone else.

I run for a long time, pushing harder and harder, until I trip on something, probably a tree root. I reach out to catch myself, scratching my hands on branches as I manage to stumble forward a few more steps before falling on my knees, hard.

I give myself a few moments to catch my breath before pushing myself to my feet.

That’s when I realize that I’ve made it to yet another clearing, bigger than the one yesterday and not quite as dark.

I take a few steps forward and find a scene similar to the one from yesterday. There’s a figure lying on the ground and something crouching over it. But it isn’t Baz.

This thing has wings and appears to be floating above the body with what appears to be an arrow poised over the figure’s chest.

I take a few more quiet steps forward, and that’s when I see who the figure is on the ground.

“Baz,” I whisper, barely audible.

The creature moves its arrow lower, and I cry out.

“NO!” I scream, and startled, the creature backs off and turns to me, hissing and spitting.

I freeze when I see its eyes. They’re bright red and glowing, and all of his teeth are sharp and pointed. What the hell is that thing?

It looks back down at Baz, and I cry out again.

“Leave him alone!” I shout, and somehow, my words are imbued with magic.

The creature hisses at me again, but as if he’s being pushed by something, he glides backward before turning and flying off into the woods.

I release a breath and realize that I’m shaking. I stay frozen to the spot for a long moment until I hear Baz take a gasping breath.

I rush to his side and sink to the ground beside him.

His shirt has been ripped open to reveal his chest, and there’s a button hanging from it by a thread. He’s pale, paler than I’ve ever seen him, and he doesn’t look well.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

How could I be so foolish? How could I honestly believe that he was killing people? If only, I had believed him.

“It’s not your fault,” he coughs.

“You’re so pale…” He’s more like an ashen grey. All of the color seems to have faded from him.

“Perks of being a vampire,” he says with a forced laugh, finally admitting it to me. Hearing him finally say those word aloud doesn’t make feels as victorious as I used to think it would, though.

“What did he do to you?” I ask, looking for a wound but finding none.

“Drank my blood. What little I had in me anyway.” He says it flippantly, like it’s no big deal, but it is a big deal. If he weren’t a vampire, he’d be dead right now.

He’s still dying, though. He can only go so long without blood. I have to do something. I have to help him somehow.

I think for a moment before the answer comes to me.

“Drink my blood,” I tell him.

He shakes his head violently. “No. I won’t drink human blood.”

“I won’t let you die.”

“I’ll go to the Catacombs. Drain some rats.”

“You won’t make it there in time.” Tears well in my eyes at the truth of this statement. I don’t want Baz to die. I have to save him.

“I can’t drink your blood, Simon.”

“Yes. You can.”

I pull him up into a sitting position and press his face into my neck.

“It’s okay,” I whisper. “It will all be okay.”

I feel his hesitation even as he nuzzles his face into my neck—he doesn’t want to do this, but he doesn’t have a choice. Then, there’s a sharp pain as he sinks his fangs into the side of my neck, and I gasp.

The initial bite is incredibly painful, and my instinct is to push him off, but I just grip onto his arms instead. And after a moment, his bite starts to feel good. Really good. It’s like as he takes my blood, he’s giving me something else in return, something warm and pleasant.

My eyes fall shut, and my mind goes blank. All there is is me and Baz and this pleasant feeling.

But then suddenly the feeling is gone, and reality comes crashing back down around me.

Baz shoves me away, and I don’t even try to fight him as I land on my back in the dirt.

The world spins around me as I struggle to catch my breath.

I’m still breathing hard, but after a couple of minutes I manage to sit up and look at Baz. He looks a little better now. Color is returning to his cheeks at least.

“That was…” I begin, grasping for a way to describe that experience.

“Awful,” Baz finishes, rubbing his hands down his face.

I frown, wrinkling my brows at him. That’s not how I would have described that.

“Are you okay?” I ask tentatively.

“No. Yes. No.” He shakes his head then tries again. “I’m not thirsty anymore, but I can’t believe I did that. I can’t believe you let me do that.” He won’t look me in the eyes. He just keeps staring at the ground.

“I couldn’t watch you die.”

He shakes his head at me. “Why not?”

I don’t know how to answer that. I don’t know how to explain it him. I can’t even explain it to myself.

“I just couldn’t,” I say, then I push myself to my feet.

“Where are you going?” He asks, finally looking at me.

“After it.”

“You can’t,” he says, attempting to push himself off the ground, but he isn’t strong enough yet.

“I have to.”

“Snow,” Baz rasps, his lips stained red with my blood, but I shake my head.

“I’ll find it. I’ll find whatever did this to you.”

“Simon, no. You’ll get yourself killed.”

I just shrug in response. I always knew I would go out fighting.

I turn towards the trees that the creature disappeared into and make my way to them, feeling woozy and a little unsteady on my feet.

Baz calls my name, but I ignore him and take off running once again.

I try not to think about why I’m so determined to get revenge for Baz. I mean, yes, I want to stop this creature, but I also want to get back at it for hurting Baz.

You like him. Penny’s words ring loud in my mind, but I shake them away.

I can’t think about that right now. I have bigger things to worrying about. Like stopping that creature before it can hurt anyone else.

Part 4: The Final Victim

Baz

I have to go after Simon. He’s going to get himself killed.

I can feel Simon's blood coursing through my body. It makes me feel sick to think about what I just did, but it also makes me feel better physically, better than drinking blood has ever made me feel.

I don't like the implications of that.

I don't care how good drinking his blood makes me feel, I can never drink human blood again. I almost couldn’t stop, and Simon was too dazed to stop me. I can’t risk taking too much from someone. I would never forgive myself.

This one time will be worth it, though, if it means I'm fast enough to save Simon.

I finally manage to push myself to my feet, and after a brief moment of dizziness, I take off running faster than I've ever run before.

I can just barely catch a trace of Simon's scent, that familiar smoky-sweet scent that could only come from him. I keep shoving through branches until his scent becomes stronger. I'm getting close. I push myself to run faster. I have to get to him. He has no idea what he's gotten himself into.

This creature can't be killed by Simon simply going off or swinging his sword at it. There's only one way to kill a creature like this, and it's even harder to do than I thought.

I've been researching this thing since the first body was found.

My aunt used to tell me the Legend of a winged creature that came out every 14 years, killing one person everyday starting on the first of February and killing its final victim on Valentine's Day.

I used to think it was just a story, but as soon as I heard how the Normals were being killed, I knew it was more than a story. And I knew I had to stop it.

I've been hunting it even as Simon was so obviously hunting me. Of course I knew he suspected me. He's not very stealthy. I mean, he handwrote a list of reasons I'm the killer and left it on his desk for anyone to see.

I thought for sure he was going to turn me in yesterday even after he said he wouldn't. But somehow, I just barely managed to convince him. And then it was just my luck to become the creature's final victim today.

The creature doesn't only go after Normals -- I think they're just easier prey. It targets people who are single, people who won't be missed by a significant other. I fit the profile perfectly, but I think the real reason it targeted me was because I saw it yesterday. I wasn’t able to stop it, but I got close.

I was to be its final victim until Simon stopped it, which is why Simon is in so much danger. He's going after it, running right into danger like he always does, not caring a bit whether he lives or dies. He’s so stupid, but I have to help him.

His scent becomes overwhelming, and I know I'm close. I push through some more branches and find Simon fighting the creature in the trees.

He swings his sword at it, striking it on the arm, but the creature barely flinches.

"Simon!” I shout. “That won’t work. You have to get its arrow."

"What?"

I realize my mistake too late when Simon turns to look at me, leaving himself open to an attack.

The creature rushes at him and knocks him off his feet. Then, it’s on him, ripping at his clothes, trying to get at his heart.

I race towards the creature, drawing my wand. Magic won't do much against it, but it might slow it down.

I cast a spell, sending flames towards the creature’s wings. It cries out in pain but doesn't move away from Simon, who is reaching for his sword which lies just out of reach. I run at the creature, knocking him off Simon, but it easily overpowers me, once again pointing its arrow at my chest. It bares its sharp teeth at me, and I decide not to fight it. At least if it kills me, Simon will be safe.

Simon

Baz knocks the thing off of me, but then he stops fighting. It's like he's given up, and I don’t understand why. I start to reach for my sword, but then I remember what Baz said. Get its arrow.

I lunge at the creature, landing on its back, and reach for the arrow. It attempts to shake me off, but when I see a speck of blood on Baz's chest, it’s like something snaps inside of me. I grip onto it and reach harder for the arrow. I won’t let it hurt Baz.

I manage to grab hold of the arrow and viciously rip it from the creature's grasp.

"Kill it!" Baz shouts.

I don't hesitate before plunging the arrow into the creature's chest. It bucks again, and I let go, letting myself slide off of it as black liquid oozes out of its chest. It yanks at the arrow, trying to pull it free, but it's too late.

The creature crumples to the ground in a lifeless pile.

I'm breathing hard as I step around it and help pull Baz to his feet.

As soon as he’s standing, though, he shoves me.

"You idiot!"

Baz

"You idiot." I repeat, shoving Simon in the chest again. "You could have gotten yourself killed!"

"I had it handled." He shrugs.

"You had no idea what you were going into. If I hadn't found you..." I trail off, not wanting to think about what might have happened if I hadn't gotten to him in time.

"Why do you care?"

"Because I—." I cut myself off.

"You...what?" Simon asks, and there's a strange expression on his face, one I’ve never seen on him before. It’s almost like he’s hoping I’ll say something.

"Because I care about you, okay?" I sigh, finally saying aloud what I’ve never been able to before.

I expect him to laugh and ridicule me for it, but he just stares silently.

I give him another moment before shaking my head and turning away. I can’t believe I just said that aloud. I can’t believe I said it, and I can’t believe Simon didn't react at all. At least if he'd laughed or hit me, I'd know where we stand.

I should head back to school. I'll report what happened here and then I'll try to forget how foolish it was to say that.

I take a few steps away from Simon, prepared to start running once I'm sure I’m going the right way, but stop when I feel his hand on my wrist.

"Wait." His voice is quiet.

"What do you want?" I ask.

"I care about you, too."

I turn to face him slowly, wondering if now is the point when he starts laughing, like this is all just some big joke. But he looks serious. And maybe even...nervous?

He stares at the ground, but his voice is louder and surer when he speaks again.

"I really care about you Baz."

I suck in my breath. This has to be a joke.

He tilts his head up and slowly meets my eyes like he’s afraid of what I’ll do.

I'm not sure what to say. I like him, and I want for him to be telling the truth, but how can I know for sure?

I search for something to say, and he steps closer to me.

His hand moves from my wrist up to my face, where he brushes a strand of hair out of my face and lets it linger there.

"I like you," he whispers, like it’s a secret only meant for me to hear.

"I like you, too," I whisper back without hesitating.

Then, Simon is moving closer to me, and I'm tilting my face down towards his, but he stops just short of our lips meeting.

"Can I kiss you?"

I marvel at the question because it's ridiculous that he even had to ask, but I also love him for it because he wanted to make sure it was okay.

"Yes," I reply, and the word is barely out of my mouth before he's kissing me.

I kiss him back gently, placing my hands on his hips to hold him there.

We kiss for long moments until we have to part to catch our breaths.

He takes a step back but he’s smiling up at me.

"Will you be my Valentine?" He asks after a moment.

I chuckle lightly. "Seriously?"

He shrugs. "Yeah."

I smile at him, my chest filling with warmth. "Sure, Simon." I nod. "Yes. I'll be your Valentine."

His face splits into a grin, and he reaches out to intertwine his fingers with mine.

I don’t think I've ever seen this expression on him, and it's hard to believe that it's because of me.

I feel my own smile widen, and I lean forward to kiss him softly.

This is the strangest - and maybe even nicest - Valentine's Day ever.

#snowbaz #snowbaz sweethearts exchange #simon snow #baz pitch #carry on #wayward son #any way the wind blows #rainbow rowell #snowbaz fic #my writing #my (un)bloody valentine #snowbaz sweethearts exchange 2021

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vanillawriterv · 4 years

Text

Markus Deserved Better from DBH

This ended up hella long but Markus deserved better from David Cage and I’m upset about it, ok?

Anybody who’s been involved or seen the Detroit: Become Human fandom knows that Connor is the most favorited by the voiced community, and he absolutely deserves the love he gets. He’s an intriguing character with a cute face, and the fandom has widely noted that. Kara is a widely loved character as well, just as she should be. We see so many raw emotions from Kara that make us relate and empathize with her, and she’s a strong willed person. Markus, however, isn't as widely appreciated. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are tons and tons of posts and art and writing and appreciation for him, but that pales in comparison to that of Connor or Kara. I’ve seen people blame this on “deep rooted racism” and all that lovely stuff, but there are a variety of reasons Markus doesn’t resonate with most as much as Kara or Connor, and why he deserved better from the creators. It makes the whole thing even weirder because Markus is the integral piece of the entire game.

Connor and Kara’s plot lines are obviously very important. Connor’s conflict in finding out who he is and what he wants to be is emotional, and him being a detective is crucial to his story. Connor’s end goal is to find Jericho, which is centered mainly around Markus’ story. Kara’s conflict in deciding to do what’s best for Alice, even if what she does isn’t “morally” correct, is also extremely emotional and really makes you evaluate what you would do for the ones you love, no matter how inherently “wrong” it is. Her being an Android and trying to take care of Alice and find Jericho to get to Canada are crucial to the story, and her end goal is centered mainly around Markus’ story as well.

Markus’ plot is the most important part of Detroit: Become Human. Without him, it would have taken another Android to finally decide to revolt, and given that he had to convince Jericho when he got there, it would have taken a decent amount of time. If Markus didn’t begin a revolution, Connor wouldn’t have ended up working towards finding Jericho because Androids would only have acted out individually with no name behind their cause, and widespread deviancy would be eradicated if someone else didn’t unite them all before they really started getting rid of deviants. Though Connor could have found deviancy without the revolution or Jericho, his character arc centers around witnessing his own people stand up for themselves and him deciding who he’s going to be. Connor without Markus would just be a detective doing cases on the very thing he’s never supposed to be and he’ll either remain a machine, or become a deviant and have to deal with that without a cause on his side.

Kara would probably still end up looking for Jericho with Alice because of the Android that shared information with her when they were looking for a place to stay the night, but she’d be greeted with pre-Markus Jericho that doesn’t do much but hide. She probably wouldn’t have made it to Canada or even the border if this happened.

This all means that all their stories—and plenty of other side characters’ stories—revolve around Markus, who he is, and what his existence means in the game. Now, this isn’t actually very obvious in the game. It doesn’t take deep thinking or any real situation assessment to realise exactly how crucial Markus is to the game and every character’s development, but it isn’t as clear as it should be. Markus should be the point the game revolves around because he’s why it exists—so why don’t we feel nearly as emotionally attached to him?

Well, we don’t get to see who Markus is. We see Markus speaking for a community as a whole, not really for himself. He puts himself in a position where most of what he says is said for Androids everywhere, and not necessarily his personal thoughts or aspirations. Yes, he wants to lead this revolution, but that’s his only characteristic he was given. Markus’ only purpose all the way throughout the entire game is the revolution. Of course, if you go the right route and choose the right things, you get one(1) possible love interest, but even that route is empty and bland of actual bonding or real insight to how Markus might be thinking or feeling. The only time we get to see Markus—and the thing that resonates within the people whose favorite character is Markus—is how he got to where he was. Connor is hesitant in his path of figuring out who he is against who he’s “supposed” to be. Kara is determined to take care of a child who hasn’t had the proper care. But Markus? Markus was the character who realised that nobody was going to stand up for him and that if he wanted protection, and rights, and thoughts, and to be independent he was going to have to do it himself. He stood up for himself when nobody could or would, and the people who realised that are the people who see exactly how valuable he is to the story and how much character he has inside of him that isn’t being shown to us throughout the rest of the game.

Connor and Kara have plenty of moments bonding with other people and expressing their thoughts or concerns. Connor has Hank, and they routinely interact in a way meant to make you connected to them both by sharing thoughts, ideas, and moments. Kara has Alice from the beginning, and it quickly develops our emotional connection to them both because they both need the other, and that is a strong, relatable emotional bond. Eventually Kara gets Luther who allows for more of Kara’s thoughts to be shown rather than just her emotions, as well as Luther’s, which give us an emotional connection to both of them. But Markus doesn’t really have those moments. Yes, he has Josh, North, and Simon, but the only talks they really had were about the revolution and Jericho’s decisions as a whole. There were so little scenes showing Markus connecting with others in a more intimate way than just recruiting them or speaking to Jericho as a whole, and they were pretty late into the game when we’d all already fallen in love with these other Characters.

It’s poor writing to only begin connecting the player to the main piece of why the story’s happening near the end of the entire game. There was time for more, in general, from Markus.

Plus—and this one really irks me as a music fan in general—his theme was a crime. I watched a playthrough before I ever played the game, and one of the first things I noted was the intensity of Connor’s theme. You all know it, and it is so packed with emotion that you can feel without having to know anything about the game. Nima Fakhrara, the composer of Connor’s theme, put so much of Connor’s conflict and internal struggles into that piece, and perfectly captivated the duality of human and machine within him. Listen to it if you haven’t taken the time, it’s 8 minutes and 54 seconds of an absolutely beautiful composition. Kara’s theme moves me every time as well. Philip Sheppard, the composer of Kara’s theme, also put so much emotion into hers. The push and pull of the intensity captivates Kara’s situation so well. Her theme feels much more raw than Connor’s, by the nature of her character. Also listen to that if you haven’t, 6 minutes and 55 seconds of another absolutely beautiful composition. Markus’ theme, in comparison to Kara and Connor’s, feels so empty. It’s fitting only because of the lack of emotional value they put into Markus, and feels almost like ambiance music. You can’t feel the emotions Markus has within the piece, because we see so little of who he is. Not only that, his theme is a staggering 3 minutes and 2 seconds long. And, I believe John Paesano, the composer of Markus’ theme, is not the reason behind this lack of emotion. John Paesano also composed Marvel’s Spider Man main theme, and noted that he wanted to make the theme “more emotional and introspective.” The Spider Man main theme is also as short as Markus’ but most would argue still has a lot more emotion. There is no guarantee it wasn’t just a different artist’s take, but I believe John Paesano could have easily made a much more emotional theme for a character who actually had more emotions and personality to base the theme off of.

Markus’ lack of emotional development, his disconnect from the player because he only speaks as a whole and the game never shows him speaking for himself or his mind, and the lack of emotion in his theme compared to such emotionally driven themes makes Markus feel unimportant and much more distant from the player.

There were so many things David Cage could have done to make Markus feel as important as he is, but he lacked so much of what the other characters were given. I understand that what he was doing as a character didn’t provide as many opportunities as Kara or Connor to really show who he is to the player, but there was room for a more emotional Markus. He’s my favorite character in the game solely because he got up and did what no one else could or would do for himself, and if I—and many others—can fall in love with a character based on their only real emotional action, can you imagine the amount of people who’d fall in love with the rest of his missing personality?

#detroit become human #dbh #dbh markus #markus rk200 #rk200 #dbh connor #connor rk800 #rk800 #dbh kara #kara ax400 #ax400 #he deserved better #this is literally an essay omg #this has irked me for a while #sorry for the long rant #dbh north #dbh simon #dbh josh

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sepublic · 4 years

Text

Musical Car!

What’s interesting is that the musical has a sign advertising Jesse’s name; Did he stop by the Musical Car at some point and inspire the denizens there with a speech about empathy, and how differences are okay? We know that had to have taken place prior to him, Lake, and Alan Dracula entering the Carnival Car, meeting The Cat, etc. Either way, I’m not at all surprised that someone as open and friendly as him would say such things, especially with an unconventional friend like Lake; And obviously he stuck by his words in the end, didn’t he?

Lemme tell you though… I was legit disturbed by that raid, as well as seeing those poor denizens get legitimately hurt and injured for no reason at all, and that ONE decapitated dude almost getting wheeled, only to be converted into Simon’s thing; Like, screw you Apex. That’s what makes Simon and Grace interesting; I’ve always imagined the concept of more problematic protagonists for this series, so it’s not much of a surprise to see Book 3 dive into this! Given how much more, well… WORSE Simon and Grace are, pehaps it’s not all-too surprise that their arc was confined to HBO Max, given the even more mature tone set by them and their actions!

Honestly, those two rapidly switch and range from terrible, nasty jerks I want to punch, to misfits with banter and chemistry, and plenty of comradery; Especially for people they DO care about! It really drives the point home that not every bad person is PURE evil, like they don’t spend every waking moment plotting how terrible they can be, and most don’t even consider themselves as bad! It’s disconcerting, but a good look into their mindset; With Grace genuinely trying to be nice and caring to the kids and not hurting their feelings, but also repeating Amelia’s lies about the train denizens being there for the passengers’ benefit, and… More on that later.

Also- Glad to see Grace make fun of Simon’s fashion sense and acknowledge it, but at the same time… Either he was ten when he began to wear socks with sandals, AND/OR he was ten when he first met Grace; Presumably on the Infinity Train, although the idea of two individuals knowing one another PRIOR to boarding it is also fascinating! Especially given how Book 2 discussed the idea of fate and pre-determination in one’s paths and all…

It’s interesting to see that not all Apex kids are against the denizens, like some DO want to make friends with them (albeit in a very invasive manner), but Grace and Simon just shut them down. I have to wonder if they themselves also had a similar moment with Amelia, only to be brutally shut down; And Amelia is objectively worse than those two considering how much higher her number is, and how SHE was the one who started this dumb ideology in the first place (instead of just being taught it at a vulnerable moment in her life like everybody else)!

What’s worth noting is that Simon has a device that can detect the presence of other passengers, which is both VERY cool and VERY useful; I have to wonder if it’ll detect Hazel in the Jungle Car however. Given the speculation of her being a train denizen, it’d serve as neat, subtle foreshadowing as to her true nature, and I can see the show touching upon this! Also, the aesthetics of that device reminds me of what The Cat would own; Given how she’ll make a return this Book and has had a run-in with at least Grace in the past, I can easily see it being something she’d own. She IS a collector of useful things, after all… And I have to wonder if maybe The Cat was even a companion of Simon or Grace; Or maybe even Amelia! Perhaps the Passenger-Detector was a ‘gift’ from Amelia…

(I mean, they HAVE to bring her back in Book 3, given how her ideology and actions are a direct consequence of everything that happens, and would fit nicely into her eventual redemption arc. Not to mention it’d give a fascinating insight as to what was going on in her mind when she indoctrinated the Apex.)

Neat detail seeing the Unfinished Car with those corgi diplomats, and nice joke with that one turtle talking to what’s later revealed to be a phone with a line that’s already cut anyway! Grace breaking her Harpoon Pack makes sense; She wasn’t seen with one in the trailer and posters, and I guess it’d help ‘balance’ things if only one protagonist had a Harpoon Pack; So they can’t just skip over cars on their way back!

Speaking of a way back; We have a set number of cars leading back to the Mall Car, so in other words we have a way of keeping track of the journey’s progress! It IS worth noting that the cars could always rearrange… It’s interesting to learn that cars apparently don’t move when passengers are inside; I always assumed that sometimes they might’ve and a passenger wouldn’t notice because all the cars look identical from the outside, and also being inside a pocket-dimension kind of skews around with the sensation of what’s going on outside. It’s possible that Simon and Grace actually felt the movement because of the Unfinished Car’s unusual nature…

Regardless, after that disturbing opening scene it makes sense that One-One is stepping in! Given how he values the passengers more than the denizens (as seen with his second and final interaction with Lake), it makes me wonder how much he actually CARES; Or if he can’t afford to have people ‘breaking equipment’, and/or is mostly doing this to lean the Apex towards becoming better people by confronting them over their actions! At this point, they may end up pushing One-One too much and he’ll have to send in his Steward…

Getting onto some existential crisis, the cruel thing about Simon and Grace saying that the denizens are made for them is… They’re actually kind of right? NOT that this justifies at all their wanton, senseless cruelty towards the train denizens… But it ties back to Lake’s existential crisis in Book 2, the realization and likelihood that she (and maybe even the Mirror World) was made purely for the character development of people like Tulip and Jesse! One-One himself outright says in the Book 2 Finale that, YEAH; Train Denizens are supposed to stay on the train because their entire purpose, their entire means of creation was just to fulfill what the passengers need!

…Obviously, using them for raids ISN’T what One-One (and/or whoever made the Infinity Train/the Infinity Train itself) intended… But the disturbing realization still stands that the denizens’ purpose and creation in life is for the betterment of passengers, to accompany them, aid them… In the past, I’ve speculated how some Cars and their inhabitants don’t seem to have much of a personality beyond being a basic caricature to fulfill the ‘theme’ of a car, as well as aiding in passengers’ journeys! And obviously they’re all PEOPLE, but again this ties back into just how real the pasts and worlds of denizens were, as discussed by Mace; The idea that entire histories and cultures have been fabricated, and pre-programmed into the memories of denizens.

Needless to say, it’s very disturbing… And if Simon and Grace ever change their stance on denizens and even start vouching for them, it’d be a brilliant reversal of their beginning attitudes to have them call out One-One for making sapient people for the sole purpose of serving others; Which could be a dilemma for him given how HE may have been made for the purpose of others! Given how Amelia taught the Apex her ideals, and she was Conductor for a time and thus had rather intimate knowledge of the Infinity Train… perhaps what she says about the denizens being just ‘toys’, made for the passengers, isn’t too far a stretch from the truth; Obviously a dark, twisted, and selfish distortion. But it’s emblematic, reflecting a deeper, underlying issue that could lie with the Infinity Train itself.

(Especially since Owen Dennis said that One-One and the Infinity Train can be wrong…)

Given how Amelia made cars with denizens that only ‘turned on’ once a car was considered ‘complete’ (or close to it), it suggests that she knows all about the artificial, pre-programmed nature of denizens because she’s made a few ones; Which when coupled with how she probably tried to make a Fake Alrick, and ultimately realized that a replica would never be the same… Eerily, it lends to the idea that part of what made Amelia realize this at the end of Book 1, was her mindset that denizens are just follow, fake copies of pre-existing things and aren’t even real to begin with.

THAT is a cruel twist; That the very ideas that founded the Apex and caused our issues in Book 3, were low-key what helped Amelia wake up from her fantasy and realize that she needed to confront her issues! Given how high her number is, it only makes sense that while she’s making progress, she STILL has some more fundamental problems to tackle; Specifically the idea that while denizens aren’t the same or ‘real’ as the original, they’re still people and whatnot!

All in all, a VERY fascinating watch! Just eleven minutes, but I’m hooked in; Sure this does tie a lot back to previously-established concepts, but what story-driven show doesn’t? It really recontextualizes and makes you think back about what WAS discussed already and how it changes with the more we learn and explore!

#infinity train #infinity train book 3 #infinity train cult of the conductor #infinity train season 3 #infinity train spoilers #infinity train season 3 spoilers #infinity train grace #infinity train simon #infinity train amelia #analysis #spoilers #it spoilers

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