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vaspider · 3 years

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'only tenet of TERFism is transmisogyny' EXCUSE ME NO ITS ALL TRANS PEOPLE. They don't want any trans person to exist. What the hell.

Some people just gotta center their own suffering always, even when they're hurting other people by doing so. I've seen this a lot in younger queer folx of all stripes, this need to be the one that hurts the most, you know?

There's a reason the phrase Oppression Olympics exists, and it's because it's a common behavior or phenomenon in oppressed communities. I see it in the disability community, too.

What I think is important to understand when we talk about how trans people suffer under transphobia is that different groups are targeted differently. I'm not the first person to say this, of course.

Now, like, this is very rough sketchy stuff, and each person's individual experiences will vary, but in my general experience, the rough breakdown of the way in which transphobia lands on trans people kind of breaks down like this:

Binary trans women tend to suffer under a lens of hypervisibility. Everything they do is seen, analyzed, and torn apart. Their struggles are generally the ones centered in the arguments of allies, "allies," and transphobes. Even when trans women are the focus of helpful attention, that hypervisibility can cause exhaustion, because they need to perform perform perform, and be perfect, all the time. It's hard for trans women to just be without feeling like they're on camera, all the time. A lot of the time, they are on camera, because trans women's bodily autonomy and right to privacy are just never respected by transphobes (and often by supposed "allies" who feel free to ask the most invasive questions and get upset when trans women won't answer them), and even if they're not literally on camera, they're supposed to perform as the best examples of transfemininity, because if they don't, then they become the next 'look at this bad trans, all trans are this bad trans' example that TERFs point at and use as a broad brush to paint all trans women. If they're not perfect all the time and have a day where they snap at someone while someone is recording, or make a mistake, or anything, it has a horrible tendency to go viral. You can think of at least three instances right now off the top of your head, right? Right.

Binary trans men tend to suffer from hyperinvisibility. This comes from inside and outside the community -- a lot of trans men talk about being told they can't lead in community because they've 'got male privilege,' that their struggles are discarded, that they're talked over and unable to discuss the things they face, which means they don't get the support they need. Now, there are TERFs and transphobes who absolutely do focus their attention on trans men to the exclusion of or to the deprioritization of the oppression of trans women -- that's where we get Tavistock and Irreversible Damage and Fourth Wave Now and all the other bullshit which focuses on the idea that trans men are "transing the gay away," specifically "transing our butch lesbians" and "stealing butches." But again, generally speaking, trans men face harmful levels of invisibility where trans women face harmful levels of visibility. That's why transmascs in general have issues like lack of understanding even by supposedly trans-competent doctors as to how HRT affects our bodies, why trans men (and transmascs in general) report things like transphobes attacking them with transmisogynistic comments and assuming that every trans person online is a trans woman, etc.

Non-binary (here used as an umbrella term for all identities outside of binary man/woman, to include agender, genderfluid, non-binary, and infinite other identities) AFAB people tend to suffer from a different, very specific form of hypervisibility, unless they start to appear too masculine, and then they slip into hyperinvisibility. This is where we get things like "women and non-binary people" that codes all non-binary people as "AFAB people I can sort of squint and view as women," and people who fall into this category tend to get a lot of attention, a lot of derision from all sides of the spectrum. This is the "blue-haired tenderqueer" sneering that we get from both within and without the queer community, where there's an assumption that these people are just cosplaying an identity, that they're not really trans, etc. Having been in the visibility category and slipped into the invisibility category within the last, oh, year or so, and having two binary trans women in my family to compare notes with, the experiences are unnervingly similar. The difference between the experience that those women have had and the experience that I have had is that according to transphobes, I'm a traitor to my womanhood and performing femininity wrong and taking on a fake identity to escape female oppression because I'm not strong enough to bear up under it, but too cowardly to become a trans man, or... something, whereas they're taking on a fake identity to sneak into women's spaces because they're perverts.

Non-binary (umbrella identity etc) AMAB people tend to suffer from their own very specific form of hyperinvisibility, unless they start to present "too feminine", and then they slip into the hypervisibility which affects binary trans women, but with a little different fuckery in which everyone just assumes they're a trans woman, and therefore they get misgendered by everyone across the spectrum of queer/non-queer/etc. Non-binary AMAB people are generally treated like they don't exist, and when they are spoken about, are often discussed in the context of 'they should just admit they're trans women or gay men,' or if they present 'too feminine,' are subjected to the same sort of horrific attention that trans women get.

Again, a lot of this is very simplistic, and doesn't add in a lot of other complicating factors like race, disability, class, etc. Trans men of color, for example, can run into a different sort of hypervisibility because as they move further through their transition, they begin to be seen in the world as a man of color. It's not really mine to speak on beyond that, but I don't want to neglect saying 'this is really really simplistic and there's more to it than that' over and over.

I really hate breaking it down this simply because it feels like creating another binary (our society does like a binary!) for non-binary people, but like, I can't really talk about my shared experiences with other trans people without putting some framework around it. Someday, I'll be able to do that without categories. Wouldn't that be awesome?

I think we do our entire community a huge disservice when we talk about transphobia as if it's a single snake trying to take bites out of only one part of the community, and not a many-headed hydra, able to attack us from multiple different directions. I also think that focusing on one form of oppression keeps us from forming meaningful solidary and coalitions; the more divided we are, the easier it is for the people who literally want us all to stop existing to pick us off one by one. We see this all across the queer community and it's only ramping up as the attacks on our community escalate from without; people tend to turn on the ones closest to them when they get really scared, and to blame the person standing next to them for the pain they're suffering. It's the "close enough to hit" phenomenon, and it's why we see ridiculous things like "bi women make cis men think that lesbians can be won over," rather than acknowledging that bi women aren't the ones causing that: cis men are the ones causing that. The bi women in that case are close enough to hit. Transmascs are close enough to hit. Trans women are close enough to blame for the problems of transmascs, which makes it possible for TERFs to lure transmascs in and attempt to detransition them, subjecting them to gaslighting and manipulation and then using them as sock puppets.

TERFs do focus a lot on transmisogyny. They focus a lot on transmisandry, too. Debating which one is more prevalent and 'worse' not only misses the point, because transmascs and transfems face very different and totally rotten attention from cis society as a whole, including cis queers. We need to like, not do that anymore: we need to give each other the space to talk about our unique circumstances, but we also need to work harder on looking at each other through a lens of solidarity and trying to see that our struggles are different but not unrelated, and that if we keep downing on each other like this, we're not going to get anywhere except in a much more difficult situation as the people who don't want any of us to exist keep picking us off.

#transmisogyny #transphobia #transmisandry #queer issues #trans issues #long post

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twopoppies · 2 years

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I just have this feeling that Harry’s not going to say out loud that he’s bi because he doesn’t actually identify that way, but his team is marketing him as that and so he’s implying it. I think they have been on this road since Medicine, but he consistently changes things to HIM in that song instead of them. And the way that we consistently see the rainbow flag and trans flags and colors around him naturally and repeatedly but not almost ever the bi flag except when just grabbing flags to run with on stage. And from what I saw from Coachella he waved that pride flag over his head DRESSED as a pride flag and was a bit more like almost impassive about the bi one and just walked it out over his shoulder like it was his job then dropped it? I’m just not and never have gotten the bi feeling from him at all, but I can see his team marketing him that way as available to everyone but still the female orgasm song guy. I don’t think the idea is necessarily Harry’s to imply bi, but I do think he’s trying to shape it in a way that if he isn’t bi, gets done what the label wants with the least amount of damage or “stepping stone” aspect to it because I think he gets it’s not great to use and also I think he’s proud of what he is. Almost like he’s now having to hint gay through the bi instead of just through the straight. Ultimately I do just want him happy, and I’m not going to blame him if he comes out as bi and isn’t or comes out as bi and is. But I will acknowledge the industry and label pressure to use bi and that it’s not a great thing to do. But right now the implied bi is stronger than ever and does, unfortunately, not rub me in a comfortable way.

Hi sugar. Yeah, I hear what you're saying. I'm always a bit uncomfortable dissecting his sexuality because we obviously don't know anything. Although, the one time he did answer directly was to say he was "pretty sure" he wasn't bisexual.

His team has absolutely been seeding this possibility as far back as 2016 with the androgynous rock star label and all the references to Bowie and Freddie Mercury. Medicine and all the syndicated articles about it being a "bisexual anthem" was a very clear indication that this concept was supported by him and his team. The fact that he brought Medicine back at the end of the US leg of Love on Tour was surely not an accident. This, plus the fact that My Policeman is most likely going to be out this year, plus how hard they've been pushing his image as a man who has a girlfriend, many girlfriends, all the girlfriends... just says to me that if he's going to be seen as bisexual, he's still "bisexual but really loves the ladies".

I have to quibble with one part of your comment and that's what you said about him barely raising the bi flag during his tours and that indicating that he's perhaps less connected to it. That's not how I remember it. I have a BI FLAG tag and you can see he's actually interacted with them a lot. Probably second only to the pride flag. But I honestly don't think there's a message in that; more that it's just what fans nearest to the stage happen to bring. I could be wrong, but that's how I read it. Additionally, this is just a reminder (in general) that he could identify as bisexual and still only change lyrics to "him" and still only be dating a man. Personally, I don't think he's bi, but I think it's easy to forget that someone can be and still only have dated people of the same sex.

I agree with some of the discussion that's going around that whatever he's decided to do, is what he feels is best for him as an individual, and as an artist. We all just want him to be happy. I worry about the "stepping stone" thing because it's often used, and IMO it's such a slap in the face to actual bisexual people. But my hope is that if he is bisexual, he does what makes him happiest. If he's not, but his team will only allow that speculation, my hope is that he doesn't make a comment more specific than just acknowledging he's a part of the community (if he's going to acknowledge it at all).

Honestly, if you'd told me in 2016 that we'd be having this conversation I'd have laughed in your face. But he's come such a long way. I hope it continues to go smoothly.

More discussion here

#harry's sexuality #harry's image #coming out #closeting

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deadmandairyland · 3 years

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Hi! I’m here to bring you yet another Danganronpa tier list: the sexuality tier list, which you can find here.

Now I’m going to be honest here: I don’t really have any LGBT headcanons. It’s just not really something I focus on much when it comes to fandoms. Instead I usually just focus on ships, and as a result from that I tend to present a lot of characters as LGBT in fanfictions and posts I’ve made or reblogged. In other words, a massive chunk of my “headcanons” here are a direct result of shipping (as well as information I’ve picked up from the games themselves). That being said, it was interesting to actually think about this for once, so I’m kinda glad I did the tier list. And it gave me an excuse to bring back the rainbow color scheme I usually put in my tier lists for aesthetic reasons.

The original tier list had Straight at the top, but I moved it to the bottom for two reasons. One, this is Tumblr and that’s not what you’re here for. Two, I gave it a neutral color, and having a gray section next to a white section (i.e. the title of the list) like that looked bad to me. I definitely prefer this setup just on aesthetic alone.

Because this is largely based on ships, I feel it needs to be said that representation does not factor into this chart in any way. I know it probably looks bad that the only character in the Lesbian category is one of my least favorite (though NOT hated or even disliked, I should point out) characters in the main series. That has nothing to do with the fact that she’s a lesbian. She’s just a jerk, and usually not in a way that’s at least entertaining enough for me to like her.

Also keep in mind that this is just the main cast of the main series games. If you were to include characters from the DR3 anime, UDG, or the spin-offs, the Gay, Lesbian, and Ace categories would get more rep, certainly. Think Juzo, Yui, Takemichi, that gay guy with the trumpet, etc.

With that said, let’s go through the list:

Gay

Not gonna lie, one of the reasons why Rantaro is here (and not in Ace) is because of ships. Though I do sometimes ship him with girls, canon suggests he’s not interested in dating girls, and most fans seem to headcanon him as either gay or ace because of this, so I respected that. That being said, I also acknowledge he’s a very popular character in mlm ships, and at the time I was putting this together I hadn’t gotten to Taka yet so the Gay tier was still empty, and Byakuya was already sitting in Ace, so all of that swayed me to putting Rantaro here instead of Ace.

Taka was much easier to place here. He strikes me as a closeted gay man who probably doesn’t even realize he is gay. “Hey, let’s all hang out in the bath, guys! Getting naked is essential to form bonds with your fellow man! No need to be ashamed, it’s tradition!"

Lesbian

Again, ships. I only ship Hiyoko with one other character, and as soon as I say that you already know who she is.

Bisexual (Male Preference)

Akane is mostly here to account for any wlw ships I may have of her (e.g. Hina, Sonia maybe). Obviously she has a thing with Nekomaru, so Male Preference.

Chiaki is here for the same reason as Akane. I’ve shipped her with characters like Sonia and Ibuki before, but she really digs Hajime.

Chihiro honestly could have been anywhere in the Bi and Pan sections, but I ultimately went with Male Preference because of ships, specifically the fact that outside of the more... R18 circles of the Interwebs Chihiro tends to be shipped with guys more often than girls. Also doesn’t hurt that my OTP is Naehiro. I mean, have you seen how often Chihiro blushes around Makoto? (There’s more to it than that, as I’ve covered in the past. I’m just trying to add more fuel to the fire.)

Himiko is probably one of the few characters that isn’t here mainly because of ships. I do think she has some attachment towards Tenko, but I also get “I’m uncomfortable around her” vibes from her, and there are moments where she seems to crush on Kokichi (of all people) so that’s why she’s here. Still very much bi, though.

Hina has a crush on Makoto and has a complex around wishing she was more feminine so she can attract boys. So why isn’t she in the Straight section? ...Because Sakura, duh. And Kyoko too. And any other wlw ship you can think of that might work with Hina.

Honestly if it wasn’t for Miu I probably would have considered putting Kokichi in Gay. Again, while shipping plays a big part of my choices here, much like with Rantaro I have no qualms with putting a character in a tier that contradicts any ships I might have with that character, if those ships aren’t something I’m super invested in. This is a very important distinction, because it’s why I let ships sway my hand for so many of these even if I am also okay with going “Just because I ship this doesn’t mean I headcanon it” as I did with Rantaro. And honestly Kokichi’s ship teasing with Himiko does come off as more trollish than a sign that he’s into her, but he really gets into his back-and-forth with Miu, in my personal opinion, and he gets into it far more often with her for that matter. It’s why it’s one of my favorite ships for both of them tbh, and it’s because I like the ship so much that I just can’t ignore it for this sexuality headcanon tier list.

Maki... is here because of ships (e.g. Kaede).

Sakura... is here because of ships (e.g. Hina). ...What, you were expecting me to put a guy in the example? Remember, she has a boyfriend in canon.

Sayaka... is here because of... NOT ships, but DRAT. Yes, really. (”We really got down and dirty, Naegi-kun.”)

Sonia... strikes me as someone who swings both ways. I can’t describe exactly why I feel that way, but yes.

Bisexual (No Preference)

Celeste wants a harem of vampire boys but shipping her with Kyoko is also very popular and honestly i feel like it would fit her character. She’s got a look that says “I could get any ass I want and I know it.”

Ibuki is decked out in blues and pinks, and also I ship her fairly evenly among both boys and girls. She just screams bi icon to me, more so than any other character in the series.

Junko is either bi with no preferences or pan. She is an equal opportunity heart-and-soul-breaker and lust-for-despair machine.

There is no Mukuro in this list, but honestly I would probably put her where I put Junko anyway.

Kaede... is here because of ships (e.g. Miu, Maki)

Honestly I had no idea where to put Kirumi, so I just randomly chose one that I wouldn’t regret later if I ever put more thought into who I shipped her with.

I’m pretty sure Nagito being bisexual has some degree of canon attached to it??? I think??? I’m not entirely sure tbh, but fuck it. I’m doing this for fun anyway, so this doesn’t really matter.

Shuichi, like all Danganronpa protags, is bi as fuck. I also find him to be more shippable with guys than the other two protags, so IMO he has no preference.

Toko might have a thing or two for pretty boys, but... Komaru, I mean, this isn’t exactly shocking, I don’t think. Probably was closeted before she met Komaru. I mean she did focus on Hina’s boobs a lot in DR1, let’s not forget.

Tsumugi, much like Kirumi, is here because I haven’t put much thought into her ships.

Bisexual (Female Preference)

Gundham has a thing with Sonia in canon, but I can see him being bi. So... yeah, ships again.

Hajime, like all Danganronpa protags, is bi as fuck. It’s just that his Chiaki and Mikan game is just too strong.

Hifumi might claim to only like 2D, but his interest in Chihiro both in human form and computer program form (and the fact that this didn’t go away after the gender reveal) places him here.

Kaito strikes me as a closeted bisexual. The kind that could start any given conversation with “I’m not gay, but...”

Kazuichi also strikes me as a closeted bisexual, only his “I’m not gay, but...” is rooted more in dumbass than it is in systematic homophobia.

Korekiyo... is here because of ships (e.g. Rantaro).

Kyoko is bi as fuck, and I can see her having a preference towards girls in particular. She gets shipped with girls a lot (e.g. Celeste, Hina, Yui, and even Junko and Mukuro), and when she is shipped with boys it’s usually just pretty boys (e.g. Makoto, Byakuya, Ryota, Shuichi, and, depending on your interpretation, Chihiro). Also note that aside from Makoto and maybe Byakuya, Kyoko’s girl ships are far more popular than her boy ships. Just something I’ve noticed over the years.

Leon... is here because of ships (e.g. Chihiro).

Mahiru is here because I’m pretty sure she has a thing for Hajime in her FTEs, but obviously she tends to get shipped with girls more often (especially Hiyoko), and I agree.

Makoto, like all Danganronpa protags, is bi as fuck. It’s just that his Kyoko, Hina, Sayaka, and Mukuro game is just too strong.

Mikan may be interested in Hajime somewhat, but her obsession with Junko cannot be ignored, no matter how much some of you may want to.

Mondo is another character that strikes me as a closeted bisexual. He is said to strike out all the time with girls, so I do think he’s attracted to women. And I do get some vibes that he’s attracted to Chihiro pre-reveal. And if circumstances had been different, I imagine he probably still would have been post-reveal. But obviously it’s his bond with Taka that I feel cements his sexuality in, at the very least, an mlm category.

Tenko... is here NOT because of ships, but because I’m pretty sure she’s at least sort of interested in Shuichi because of some canon thing... and also I don’t want to put her in Lesbian just because it feels like I’d be stereotyping the Lesbian category if I do that. If we were to compare her to the character that I did put in Lesbian, Hiyoko doesn’t treat people like shit because they’re men, she’s an equal-opportunity asshole. Still not the best representation for lesbians by a long shot, but at least Hiyoko doesn’t follow the stereotype of a man-hating lesbian. She’s just like that, and that’s okay. But putting Tenko there, especially if she’s shown some degree of interest in a male character at some point in the game, just rubs me the wrong way personally, because it would feel like I’m ignoring canon just to stereotype her. But that’s just a personal hang up of mine. No disrespect intended toward anyone who genuinely feels that Tenko is a lesbian. Maybe you see something there that I don’t, and that’s perfectly fine.

Pansexual

I don’t remember exactly how her FTEs went, so I’m not going to get into that, but Angie just comes off as pan to me, like gender doesn’t fit into the equation at all for her.

Gonta I can see as either pan or ace. I feel like he wouldn’t care about gender, and honestly the only reason I decided to put him in Pan rather than Ace is because of that scene with Miu.

Imposter is not only pan, they are currently OT3ing it up with Ibuki and Ryota as we speak, and that’s a fact.

Keebo... is mostly here because of ships. A lot of ships, actually. Mostly male ships (Kokichi, Shuichi, Kazuichi, and, depending on your interpretation, Chihiro) but there’s also Miu to consider. And the Miu game is SO strong that I put him in Pan instead of, say, Male Preference.

Just gonna lump them together because I have the same thing to say about both of them: Miu and Teruteru would **** anything that walks. What did I censor? Well, I’m doing the Nier: Automata thing, so you can put whatever you want in there and trust me, it would probably fit, for better or for worse.

Ace

I know this is an unpopular opinion, because Naegami, but I just don’t think Byakuya is interested in anyone, at least not in that way. He might be fascinated with how common people live, because it’s so foreign to him, but that’s about it.

Straight

Even though I do ship Fuyuhiko with some of the boys, his Peko game is so strong that honestly I can’t see him actually dating anyone aside from Peko outside of some very niche fanfiction.

Honestly, Hiro was another one that I was just like “I have no idea what to do with you.” I think maybe his team up with Kanon made me eventually choose to put him in Straight? I don’t remember. I clearly didn’t put much thought into Hiro.

I really only ship Nekomaru with Akane, so that’s why he’s here. I’m sure if I dive deep enough into my psyche I can pull an mlm ship with Nekomaru in it out of my ass, but like Rantaro that wouldn’t be significant enough to change anything.

Peko is in the same boat as Fuyuhiko. I have shipped her with girls before, but her Fuyuhiko game is just too strong.

Ryoma had a girlfriend once, and as far as I can remember he didn’t really seem interested in anybody in the game, so that’s all I have to go off of for him.

-----

So there you have it. Explanations for literally all of them! Explanations that were definitely not pulled out of my ass as I was typing them, nope, certainly not. Definitely won’t be tagging all of them, but I may tag the ones with the longest entries. And like all the tier lists I’ve done, this was just for fun and honestly any opinion I have for any of these characters could change at a moment’s notice because my brain is fickle like that. Tried my best to make sure that every tier had at least one character in it, but I did so without trying to force characters in places that I personally did not believe they should go. I hope you all enjoyed my dive into this area of fandom that I rarely dive into (the LGBT headcanons, not the ships, obviously). It was a lot of fun, and hopefully it will stay fun and not result in angry anons blasting me for my opinions. I am grateful that this never seems to happen to me, but I’ve seen it happen to others and I know what Tumblr is capable of at its worst. These are just headcanons and a matter of personal opinion, and if you disagree with them, that’s perfectly okay. Your feelings and opinions are also valid.

#dangan ronpa #tier list #rantarou amami #kiyotaka ishimaru #hiyoko saionji #chihiro fujisaki #himiko yumeno #aoi asahina #kokichi ouma #kyouko kirigiri #mondo oowada #tenko chabashira #kiibo #miu iruma #teruteru hanamura #ended up tagging anyone who (at least in the editor) has four or more lines of text in their entry #or in hiyoko's case because i mention her a lot outside of her entry

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lastsonlost · 3 years

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Woke' warriors on San Fran school board deny gay white dad with bi-racial daughter place on volunteer parent committee because he's not diverse ENOUGH!

Seth Brenzel, a gay white father of a bi-racial child, was denied a spot on the San Francisco Board of Education's volunteer parent committee

The issue of whether to allow Brenzel to volunteer for the 15-person parent advisory council was debated for almost two hours on Tuesday night

His candidacy faced opposition from some board members and members of the public who argued that there wasn't enough diversity on the council

Those who opposed his candidacy were concerned with the fact that he is white

The 15-person council currently only has 10 members: Two black mothers, one Asian-American, three Latinx, one Pacific Islander and three white

Brenzel, who is the executive director of a music program for children, is openly gay. He lives in San Francisco with his husband and their young daughter

If approved, Brenzel would have been the only father on the council

The issue of whether to allow Seth Brenzel to volunteer for the 15-person parent advisory council was debated for almost two hours on Tuesday night during a board meeting.

The parent advisory council, who had unanimously supported Brenzel to join their all-female committee, had submitted his name to be approved by the school board.

His candidacy, however, faced opposition from some board members and members of the public who argued that there wasn't enough diversity on the council - even though there are five seats currently empty.

Those who opposed his candidacy were concerned with the fact that he is white.

The 15-person council currently only has 10 members: Two black mothers, one Asian-American, three Latinx, one Pacific Islander and three white.

Brenzel, who is the executive director of a music program for children, is openly gay. He lives in San Francisco with his husband and their young daughter.

If approved, Brenzel would have been the only father on the council.

After the lengthy debate, the school board eventually decided against voting on his appointment at all and asked the council to find alternate candidates for them to consider.

Brenzel's appointment to the council was just one of the agenda items for the meeting that ended up going for seven hours.

Another item on the agenda was about reopening San Francisco schools amid the COVID-19 pandemic.

It is the same school board that last month voted 6-1 to strike the names of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and Abraham Lincoln from the district's institutions.

As a result, 44 schools had to change their names after board members deemed the historical figures to have ties to racism or have 'dishonorable legacies' despite basing the decision on incorrect Wikipedia articles.

The issue of diversity was a main argument in deciding whether to appoint Brenzel to the council.

One person, only identified as Tara, said during the meeting: 'They are not a diverse group of parents as far as I have seen, I have noticed and have observed.'

Others who opposed Brenzel's appointment argued that the council 'does not even mirror Joe Biden's cabinet' and that other 'voices need to be heard first before white queer voices'.

Commissioner Matt Alexander - who described himself as the lone white board member - had said that it seemed 'like the white members are over-represented on the P.A.C.' and that there was an under-representation of 'Arab, Vietnamese, Native American folks'.

'I'm probably going to get complaints now I'm telling white parents not to be involved or something. I want to be clear, that's not what I'm saying,' he said, before later adding that 'white parents also in the city tend to have a lot of privilege and power and access the board of ed in various ways.'

Several others, however, defended Brenzel's candidacy, pointing out that he would bring diversity because he is gay and a father.

'I see no reason why Seth should not be confirmed. I think this is just honestly just a political show so you can say that you stopped a white person from getting on,' one speaker said.

Another member of the public said: 'I'm very upset we are focusing solely on race. Seth would be the only male on the pact. He would be the only LGBTQ member. He has a bi-racial child.

'I mean, this notion of oh, he's just a white person therefore we can't have him, it's absolute nonsense. There's diversity beyond the color of our skin and I think it is important to consider diversity beyond just race and the intersectionalty of parents.

'We are all diverse in our own way and Seth brings a lot of diversity to a pact that has no men and no LGBTQ parents.'

It comes as the school board president Gabriela López, 30, defended last month's decision to rename the 44 schools honoring historical leaders who have since been branded by activists as racist.

San Francisco Unified School District had been criticized for voting by 6-1 last month to change the name of one-third of the city's schools.

Parents and residents became concerned when it emerged that historians had not been consulted by the renaming committee.

Instead, committee members allegedly used references from Wikipedia and other non-scholarly sources to determine which personalities were racist and problematic.

Several of those citations have now been proven to be factually incorrect, including a false claim that American poet James Russell Lowell did not want black people to vote and that Paul Revere's military activities were tied to 'the conquest of the Penobscot Indians'.

Gabriela López, the head of the San Francisco Board of Education, continues to defend the decision claiming in a tense interview with the New Yorker that she doesn't want to 'discredit the work that this group has done' despite their use of inaccurate information.

She claimed that she did not believe the names had been selected in a haphazard way, even after being read a list of the misinformation that was used in some of the decisions.

'No, because I've already shared with you that the people who have contributed to this process are also part of a community that is taking it as seriously as we would want them to,' Lopez argued about the errors made in the research process.

'And they're contributing through diverse perspectives and experiences that are often not included, and that we need to acknowledge.

'What I keep hearing is you're trying to undermine the work that has been done through this process. And I'm moving away from the idea that it was haphazard,' she said in the strained Q&A.

Lopez also pushed back on the complaints that historians were not consulted as part of the process.

Among the names included on the list that had provoked pushback from residents and historians was President Abraham Lincoln.

Lopez said that she did not believe Lincoln was a person she would 'admire or see as a hero'.

'I think that the killing of indigenous peoples and that record is something that is not acknowledged,' she said.

'It's something that people are now learning about, and due to this process. And so, we just have to do the work of that extra learning when we're having these discussions.'

Lopez also claimed that the renaming was only facing criticism because 'people will always have a problem with the discussion of racism', not because of the inaccurate information.

'That is what I know. That is why I'm getting death threats. That is why people aren't open to other possibilities. Because when we have this discussion, that's the outcomes no matter how good it's set up, no matter how open we are,' she said.

'No matter what, people are going to have an issue with that. That is what I know, given my experience. Of course, I'm hearing what you're saying, but I don't think it's going to change the outcome. People are still going to be up in arms when we're doing this.'

Among the other criticism received by the city's board of education was that it had voted on the renaming when there appeared to be no plan in place to bring students back to in-person learning.

'What I cannot understand is why the school board is advancing a plan of all these schools renamed by April when there isn't a plan to have our kids back in the classroom by then,' San Francisco Mayor London Breed had said.

The city of San Francisco has also since sued the board of education and school district claiming they have violated a state law that required districts to adopt a clear plan during the pandemic as it relates to in-person education.

Lopez claimed that it is 'completely false' to say they don't have a plan and accused to the mayor of jumping at 'any opportunity to cause further division'.

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sugarmaplewings-fics · 3 years

Text

Hermoso

Pairings: BNHA Boys x Latinx!reader

Warnings: My very limited knowledge of both bilingual people and also the Spanish language as a whole :I Also Bakugou is back to saying a few no no words

Characters: Bakugou, Todoroki, Kaminari

A/N:

Hello! Just wanted to say thanks to @pstpstpst-kirikirikiri for requesting! I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I am in fact Latina myself (mixed)! Sadly, I'm not fluent in Spanish (I mean, I can kinda understand it when it's spoken, but even then it's ehh) sooo I hope I was able to do this one well! Tell me if there are any glaring issues. I'm generally not very comfortable with doing racially / ethnically-specific readers, but I decided to give this one a go since I have a teeny bit of background in this.

Ignore how I kinda slacked on Shouto's and popped off on Bakugou's ヽ(。_°)ノ

Anyway, enjoy! Mwah!

-Sugar

═════ ∘♡༉∘ ═════

Bakugou:

● Alright, so let's say you've got a crush on Katsuki

● But who doesn't? *ahem ahem*

● He's just so handsome?? And low key kinda cute too, when he's not making his crankypants frowny face

● It gets to the point where you toy with the nickname in your head, thinking about cupping his soft cheeks in your hands and murmuring it to him. Hermoso

● Aaand then one day, it slips out. Shoot

● He kinda makes a face at you, just a little confused

● He doesn't speak Spanish, right? So you're okay, right?

● But then it happens again. And later again a third time

● Hopefully he doesn't notice your flustered state each time it happens. For all he knows, it could be casual, right?

You wandered into the common room in search of your notebook. Much to your mild annoyance, you'd forgotten to bring it back up to your room the last time you were down here. You found Bakugou sprawled out on one of the couches—a rare sighting to be honest. He usually holed up in his dorm room to be alone rather than venture out into one of the common spaces. Although it probably helped that the room was otherwise currently empty.

"Hey," you greeted him casually.

As you expected, he scarcely bothered to acknowledge you, only diverting his gaze from his phone for a second before going back to it.

You wandered around the space, checking the floor and table for your item of interest. Really it shouldn't be this difficult. The notebook wasn't in some kind of color that would have been hard to miss against the materials of the room.

Glancing at Bakugou, you weighed your options. There was a chance that someone had accidentally kicked it under one of the couches, so you should probably check there. Then again, you weren't sure whether it was worth crawling around on the floor with your butt in the air in front of your crush. Finally you gave up, sacrificing your dignity to get down on your hands and knees to check.

"The hell are you doing?" came an all-too-familiar voice from above.

"I'm looking for my notebook," you explained curtly, trying to keep your hair from getting too intimately involved with the dust on the floor. "Ugh, I don't see it anywhere," you growled, straightening. "Have you? It's light blue and it's got—"

"You mean this?" Bakugou interrupted you, pulling it out from behind his back with a smirk.

You froze, a scowl bringing your eyebrows together. So it had all been for nothing and he'd just been laughing at you the entire time! "Bakugou!"

"Oh, so it's 'Bakugou' now?" he said, teasing, still holding your notebook up.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" you asked, lunging forward to grab it from his hand.

"I thought you were calling me hermoso."

You stopped dead again, wholly unconscious of the unflattering position you were in.

Oh. Shit.

"You think I'm cute or some shit?" he went on, still smirking at you. "That's what you were saying, right? I looked it up after the second time you—"

Your skin burned with heat, wholly embarrassed he'd discovered your secret. You finally swiped the spiral-bound pages from his hand, turning to leave. It took everything in you to not hang your head with shame as you stepped back in the direction of your room.

"Oi."

Something made you halt in your tracks, even though you were tempted to ignore his call for your attention.

". . . I didn't say you had to stop."

You frowned again, confused. "What?" Turning back to him, you saw a faint flush on his cheeks. He suddenly refused to meet your eyes, staring at the corner of the coffee table.

"It's cute," he mumbled, going back to looking at his phone.

____________

Todoroki:

● Even before you had gotten with Shouto, you couldn't help but find him terribly endearing

● From his blunt and forward personality to his undeniably good looks, you knew you had it bad

● Which is what made it even sweeter when your friend finally asked if you could be just a little more

● The first time you'd spoken the term aloud, you'd had Shou resting his head on your chest, murmuring sweet nothings to him in your own mix of Japanese and Spanish. With your fingers weaving through his bi-colored hair, the boy looked as if he was about to doze off to sleep

● "What does that mean?" he asked softly out of the blue. "Hermoso?"

● You explained it to him, telling him how much he meant to you

● Shouto smiled one of his rare smiles; the one that melted your heart without fail every time

● "I like it," he murmured

● And then that was just what you called him. His favorite of your nicknames worked seamlessly into your relationship

● He liked it because it was so you. He loved your accent and loved hearing the way you spoke it to him

● He probably wouldn't freak out if you used his real name, but he's made it clear that he has a soft spot for being your hermoso

____________

Kaminari:

● Can we just appreciate for a moment how much Denki loves you?

● Mans is more of a simp for you than you are for him, just wow

● Anyway, once you explain to him what hermoso means, he is all about being called that at every opportunity

● He even calls you hermosa/hermoso back! He loves that you two have that together and he absolutely lives for it

● He'd get super pouty if you tried to call him something else. You have a thing going and he never wants to stop

"Denki," you called from your position on his bed, your head leaning upside down off the side. You thought you saw him twitch in his chair at the sound of his name, but otherwise, he didn't seem to have heard you.

"Babe," you tried again, waiting for him to turn away from his desk and face you, or at the very least make a noise in acknowledgment.

And so, frustrated, you began to playfully cycle through pretty much every nickname you could think of, keeping your voice in an odd monotone in an effort to capture his attention. "Denks. Kami. Honey. Cariño. Baby. Love of my life."

You frowned to yourself when he still refused to look at you. "Hermoso," you drew out in a whine as your final attempt.

He spun around with a grin, finally meeting your eyes. "Yeah? What is it?"

You snorted out a laugh. "I just wanted to say I love you."

═════ ∘♡༉∘ ═════

Taglist: @aahilovetheatre @basicaegyo @hyunmin-1404 @iiminibattlehero @katsugay @nabo39 @pyrofanatic @rainy-skys-and-bright-stars @sendhelpimstupid @sxngwoos-ash-box @xoxopam4

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pradaksj · 3 years

Text

the swimming lessons

↳do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

❧ pairing⟶ jungkook/reader

❧ genre⟶ swimminginstructor!jungkook , fluff, a bit of comedy? head canon/bullet points

❧ rating⟶ e for everyone??? none??? idk how ratings work lol i just know that m = the dirty, which this story has none of

❧ word count ⟶ 5,000

❧ summary ⟶ accidental swimming lessons with jungkook were definitely worth the money

❧ a/n ⟶ i literally dreamt something similar to this in like january and told myself i'd write about it when i had the time so hear i am :)) this goes out to all my folks who can’t swim !! i'm on the same boat with you , get it? cause we can’t swim ... ok anyways ... enjoy ! (note: i have not proofread this yet so sorry for any mistakes!! ill get to it soon !! )

“hello, welcome to lucky duck swim school, how can i help you?” the receptionist, who was loudly chewing her gum, sounded more like an automated voice message than a person...

see today was your first official swimming lesson

yay!!

how fun!! ...

://

totally not embarrassing for someone your age !!!

honestly, it wasn't your fault you didn’t have any family members or friends with a big pool you could learn in growing up

and by the time you did, you were too much of in an awkward phase to be properly taught

aka your body absolutely refusing to float on its own anymore

but after several trips to the beach with friends and attending different pool parties, you were tired of being made fun of !!

no longer would you remain at 5 feet and under !!! not on your watch !

and so here you were, ready to start your journey into the world of swimming :))

“hi i um have a swimming lesson at 3 with um ... i believer her name was um—”

hmmm what was her name ??? jennie??? no, maybe it was aaliyah ??? no that wasn’t it....

the receptionist taps on her keyboard buttons, her long nails making a noise

pop, her bubblegum goes

“jungkook”

“yeah jungkook” you mindlessly say.

wait

WAIIITT

jungkook????

ummmmm

that was not the game given to you by the last receptionist

jungkook is a boy’s name !!!

you didn’t want a boy instructor !!!

not with the way you were looking

“i um—i had asked for a girl instructor—” you awkwardly mention

she rolls her eyes

um RUDE

she continues clacking with her keyboard, looking for god knows what

she sighs

“there’s no slots with female instructors available for today, nor for the rest of the month, the earliest i can probably squeeze you in by is july.” she bluntly states.

JULY???

july was when you needed to already know how to swim !!

that’s the peak of summer !

there was no point in knowing during winter or any other season besides summer for that matter

and you were not going to get made of by your friends this year

no no NO

“soo do i reschedule you or.....”

you sigh

“no ill take it” you pout, resembling a child.

“it it makes you feel any better, jungkook’s our best instructor, most popular too”

wink

oh yeah that makes you feel so much better

>:(

you were going to make a complete fool out of yourself in front of the so called “best instructor”

“well go get yourself washed up, get into the pool, and jungkook will be with you shortly” she smiles, her attitude now changing now that (what looked to be a supervisor) was passing by.

what a bi—

flip flop. flip flop. flip flop.

your sandles press onto the water on the floor of the girls locker room, a grouchy look now on your face

this wasn't fair

you made an appointment with a female instructor!!

you didn’t care if he was the best instructor or the most popular ...

squeeaaakkk , you twist the rusty shower handle

...because now you were you were going to be judged for your lack of skills

not that you had any to begin with, but still!

god, you sounded like such a karen ...

it’s just ...

a guy instructor ???

really???

you understood that this wasn’t elementary school anymore and boys certainly didn’t have cooties anymore but like ://

no no, you had to give this jungkook guy the benefit of the doubt

if he was one of the best, it was clearly because he was professional and good at what he does

putting your worries to rest, you turn off the shower

this was going to be fine

just fine

clearly your worries were not put to rest

just a temporary halt

pat. pat. pat.

okay let’s get it !

making your way out to the pool, you dip your foot in

ooooo

cold

VERY cold indeed

1 ...2...

you dip your whole leg in, quickly using the momentum to place your whole body in

“5 feet and below ... you’re my bitch !!” you think to yourself

your hand still clearly gripping onto the ledge, still afraid of accidentally reaching 6ft

.... now to wait

“megan seems to have fractured her leg last weekend on a rollerskating day gone bad, so you’ll be taking up her appointments for the next month of two until she’s cleared for work”

huh ???

“but—”

“also she, well now you i guess, have a lesson to teach at..”

jungkook’s supervisor looks down at his watch

“oh i guess in 30 minutes, could’ve sworn it was at 4..” he mumbles that last part to himself

30 minutes?!

“don’t worry i’ll up your pay for the remaining time that she gets better”

he winks ;) making a clicking noise with his mouth before leaving the staff room

jungkook sighs

today was supposed to be an easy day :/

a simple cleaning of the pool along with a couple of measly hours of being the lifeguard and that would’ve been it but noooo

he just had to be the highest rated swimming instructor on the company website

he couldn’t complain though, sometimes it was fun reading the reviews past students left, even if sometimes they were a little too...

whats the word...

provocative?

it often made him wonder if he was in fact an actual good swimming instructor or if the high highly rated reviews were for other reasons....

honestly it’d be dumb of him not to acknowledge the amount of googly eyes he’d get ranging from the mother’s of his younger students to his actual adult students (female and male)

he just liked to think that didn’t come into play when they wrote their reviews

hehe

changing into his black fitted rash guard, he glanced at megan’s schedule

name : y/n

age: 23 grown

swimming level: beginner aka noob.

he chuckles to himself

well won’t this be fun

he couldn’t lie beginner adult swimmers were always a spectacle to watch

they almost reminded him of baby ducks learning how to swim

only that they’d verbally curse their frustrations here and there

quickly showering, he begins to make his way to the pool

hmm, he wonders..

what should he eat after today’s lesson?

a bacon cheese burger sounded really good

maybe even grab himself some birria tacos from that new restaurant that just opened near his apartment

hmm no he had to start spending less on takeout

sigh

looks like it’d be rame—

woah

as corny as it sounded, he could’ve sworn he felt his heart skip a beat

because whoever it was in that pool was pretty, like really pretty

hOly ?????

wowzers

you couldn’t be y/n ... could you?!?!?!

you were the only person who looked 23 years of age in the pool ...

ermmmmmm

mayday mayday

jungkook.exe has STOPPED WORKING

whoever this jungkook person was, sure was taking their time

deciding to have some fun before your lesson, you begin to gently play with the water

swish. swoosh , the water goes

soon you’d be well on your way to becoming the next michael phelps

hehe

maybe with time you’d even be able to a somersault in the water like your friend always—

“y/n?” a voice from behind says your name

ah finally

taking in a deep breath, you turn your attention to the so called “best swimming instructor”

OH.

MY .

GOD.

WHAT ??????

this man looked like he came straight out of GQ magazine !!!!

this HAD to be some mistake , there was just no way ...

your cheeks feel as if they were burning up

probably because they quite literally were

there was no way you’d be able to come here every saturday for the next month, not without fawning for this dude every single minute

“u-um”

of course you were a stuttering mess

of FuCkiNg course

“that’s me”

cue the awkward smile

“be professional” jungkook tells himself

at the end of the day, you were his student

any crush on you would just have to wait until of course ... you were no longer his student

for now the only goal was : teach you how to swim

the next one down the list being : to take you out on a date !

he offers you a handshake

wow he had a strong grip

“i’m jungkook, i’ll be your swimming instructor for the next month”

he flashes you his all too famous smile

there was just no way this man was real

just nO wAy

“um..”

crap, you were still holding his hand!

idiot, idiot, idiot !

“sorry” you awkwardly laugh

ha ha ha

so funny

god did you just want to hide to disappear

“it’s fine” he laughs

even his laugh was attractive :(

ugh

“so y/n, before we begin with anything, i think it’s important to review about what kind of things you already know and what you don’t”

oh right ...

for a moment you had COMPLETELY forgotten you were here for swimming lessons

how embarrassing

“oh um..”

um, um , um.

IS THAT ALL YOU KNEW HOW TO SAY????

“so like floating, holding your breath underwater, pushing, gliding, arm movement, that kind of stuff,” he explains

you knew a cool trick to make it look like you were water bending :D

of course you weren’t going to admit that here

silently you nod your head no

he gives you a reassuring smile, sensing your timidness

“that’s fine, only more for us—” he corrects himself, “for you to learn,” he laughs

hey you weren’t complaining

;)

“so i personally always like to start off with teaching my students how to float. as long as we get that down then you’ll have no problem learning the rest”

gosh his smile was so infectious

shaking your head, you reminded yourself that this was your teacher

+ you paid 300 bucks for these classes, so you couldn’t afford to be giving him the googly eyes all day

you were so cute :(

jungkook couldn’t help but find you so endearing

the color of your swimming goggles even matched your swim suit :((

so cute !

“okay so the first thing i want you to practice is going underwater for a couple of seconds, just so you get used it,” he instructs, “i’ll demonstrate”

taking in a deep breath, he goes down under

1...2...3

he’s back up

pausing for about another three seconds, he takes in another deep breath of air before going back under

1...2....3...4....5

he repeats the same thing over and over, until the max count becomes 20.

“use my finger as your reference of when to go up, but come up for air whenever you feel like you need to. it’s important to go at your own pace, so don’t feel pressured to get it the first try”

no pressure at all

okay

“you ready?”

you nod your head

“okay, deep breath in”

you sink your head underwater, mentally counting the three seconds before going back up

“good job,” he gives you a high five, and you almost feel like a schoolgirl, “now let’s try to five seconds”

woo!!! 5 seconds here you come !!

taking in a deep breath you go down under again

1....2.....3....4...5

easy peasy ... LEMON SQUEEZY

“okay now to ten”

1.....2......3......4.....5......6....7

umm

now why were these seconds going by slow all of a sudden?

sucking it up you manage to make it to 10, but not without being out of breath

“you okay?” he’s quick to ask

yup, totally fine !

you definitely didn’t see the gates of heaven for a quick moment :D

nodding your head, you enthusiastically say, “let’s go for 15″

he smiles at your enthusiasm

ahh so cute

“1....2.....3......4......5.......6......7......8......9.....10.....11.....12....13...

nope nope nope

you were not going to make it to 15

immediately you make your way back to the surface, trying to catch your breath

“hey you did amazing,” he immediately reassures you, “remember as long your going your own pace then you’re doing just fine”

well doesn’t that make you feel better

you wonder if he’s this kind to all his students

besides the most obvious reason, there was no question as to why he was the “most popular” instructor

and to think you had been complaining earlier !!

and soon you’re back underwater, going at your own pace until finallyyyy you’re able to make the 20 second count

“nice !!” he genuinely celebrates with you, making you feel completely proud for yourself

“okay now that we have that done, we can move onto learning how to float facing both front and back”

ohhhhh

he was just thinking ahead

cool :o

“so what i want you do is first relax,” he laughs, gently pushing your stiff shoulders down

as if your blush couldn’t get any deeper

“now my personal belief is that all humans can naturally float, just that for others, it takes a bit of a push to get them at that state,” he begins to explain

others meaning people like um you

“the key to floating is to relax”

oh you’ve heard that before

many MANY times and each time you’ve tried to so called “relax” you just end up sinking

“the moment you fight or stress for even a tiny bit, you will sink. now i know what you’re thinking, ive heard that before”

damn

he was good

“but sadly it’s true, until you learn to relax then you’ll be able to swim”

you sigh

this was where it became hard

you were the queen of stress

you and stress went hand in hand almost like a married couple

it was just that deep water was scary !! very very scary !!

the amount of horror stories you’d seen on tiktok was enough for you to know, ocean = scary

“so here’s what i need you to do, i need you to place your arms on top of the water like as if you’re going to fly”

you follow his commands

he separates your arms, which had been too close together, giving them a small rub

“remember you need to relax y/n,” he chuckles, feeling the tension in your arms

“relax, i need to relax,” you repeat

“okay now right now when i tell you, you’re gonna take a deep breath in and look down, from there you’re gonna let you body move forward. so remember you’re not gonna jump, you’re just gonna let your body glide forward and float. almost as if you’re flying to me,” he explains

mm it was easier said than done

“you ready?”

“okay deep breath in”

you inhale a deep breath in

“look down”

you do that as well

“and let go”

slowly your body begins to rise on its own

oh my god !!!!!

you were about to float!!!!!

the day has come !!!

no more staying at 5 feet and under

you were ready to hang with the big kids :D

but as quick as the momentum came, the faster it left because soon you felt yourself sinking, the breathing exercise jungkook had made you do now coming in handy

no!!!!

you almost had it :(

it was right in your grasp, only to have it snatched away

not wanting to offend you, jungkook keeps his giggles to himself

“hey at least you almost had it,” he comforts you, “let’s just try again”

you sigh, now letting your doubts creep in

because of this, this time your body almost immediately sank this time

he frowns

you were losing confidence :/

“come on i’ll help you”

grabbing your hands, he signals for you to follow his breathing pattern

“deep breath in”

“deep breath out”

god, was his voice soothing

“i need you to relax y/n, let everything go”

a soft feeling of relaxation washes over you, similar to that feeling you’d get when you were on the verge of sleeping

“i’m gonna let you go at the count of three, and then you’re going to float, okay?”

silently you nod, knowing that speaking would only cause you to tense up again

“1...2....”

he lets go, and soon you’re floating, just like he said you would

you hold your breathe for a good while before standing back up, a huge smile on your face

“holy shit! i did it!!”

he gives you high five with both of his hands, for a second holding them before letting go

“now let’s try floating on your back”

he notices that there’s now a fire in your eyes that wasn’t there before

clearly you were now more determined to learn, excited too

preparing yourself to float once more, you realize you were missing something....

“jungkook...”

he tilts his head, confused by the faint blush on your cheeks

“do you think you can um—”

now it was his turn to blush

“o-oh yeah”

what was his problem???

you were a student asking for help

that was all ...

point blank.

he helps you get on your back, his hand placed under your back as a way to keep you up

“1....2....”

you float easily again!!

“nice!!” he smiles

summer, here you come !!

“okay so we’re gonna keep practicing that for the remaining time that we have and next week i’ll start teaching you about stroke techniques and which ones are easiest to do”

nodding your head, you practice your floating by the end of the hour having it practically mastered

the two of you get out of the pool, now drying off

“you’re a really fast learner y/n,” he compliments you

hehe

you mean, you didn’t wanna brag butttt

you were a fast learner indeed

“thank you,” you say in return, “but that’s only because you’re a great teacher”

woah

did you really say that :o

aren’t you feeling a little bold today y/n

his blush returns for the second time today

well technically you weren’t in class anymore ...

a little flirting wouldn’t hurt right?

if only he knew what to say ....

hmmmm

“well at least you won't ever drown!”

HUH???????

jungkook, you idiot !!!!!

someone needed to smack him straight in the face for that !

at least you won’t drown????

no fucking shit

well there goes his chances with you now going down the drain

but to his surprise, you laugh

“you’re right, i won’t,” you say in return, “well i’ll see you next weekend jungkook”

you flash him a smile, and he was certain he felt butterflies in his stomach

walking into the girl’s locker room, you let out a sigh of relief

wheeeeew !

faking confidence was hard !

very VERY hard

“so today you’re going to learn how to stroke so you can officially be called someone who knows how to swim, next week you’ll learn to tread water and continue perfecting your swimming, and then the final week i’ll teach you some fun extra things”

“sounds good,” you say, definitely excited to learn more.

“okay so now that you know how to float, right now when you float facing downward, you’re going to pull against the current with your arms, alternating each one. now the tricky part is that while you do that, you also have to paddle your legs a little and come up for air when you need to, and when you’re back in the water you should slowly be exhaling bubbles of air rather than holding your breath”

well that sounded hard :/

“let me give you a demonstration,” jungkook says

he’s quick to float facing downward, showing you the maneuver he wanted you to learn while coming up for air every five seconds

thought it was a little childish, he somehow still looked good doing it

he truly was blessed with the looks of a god

he comes out the water

“okay now your turn”

you nod your head, that determined look you had on your face last week now returning

following his example, you begin your attempt at paddling and stroking your arms at the same time

SPLASH! SPLASH! SPLASH!

immediately you begin to panic and water begins to splash everywhere, including on jungkook

noticing your panicked state, jungkook is quick to grab you and place you back on your feet

“hey hey, i got you,” he comforts you, not wanting you to feel discouraged

you sigh

well that was embarrassing

“remember y/n you have to learn to coordinate everything, so think of it this way. your legs have to always be paddling, it’s the arm and coming up for air that switch roles. when you come up for air, it’s only your legs paddling, while when you’re head is back underwater it’s both your legs and arms paddling. once you get that pattern, the bubbling will come naturally”

you make an ohhhhh face

you could do that !

“remember what i told you last weekend y/n, you need to relax and be comfortable so you can build confidence. there’s no need to panic because i’m here,” he smiles at you

gosh this just wasn't fair >:(

cute and charming ????

this boy really had it all

not wanting to disappoint, you try one more time, failing once again

now you were frustrated :/

“damn it,” you mumble to yourself, a sadness to your voice

jungkook feels his heart swell

he didn’t like seeing you sad :(

but doggy paddling was the most basic technique he could teach you so he couldn’t really cheer you up by offering a different technique

you needed to learn to doggy paddle before you could move on to the more bigger strokes

damn it ://

“hey don’t feel bad about not getting right away,” he gives you a small smile, “i remember when i first started learning it took me forever to even learn how float, so the fact that you’re already at this point is enough of an accomplishment”

well that makes you feel little better ...

“but you were probably a kid, im ...”

old , is what you want to say

figuring what you were gonna say, he only laughs

“who said i was a kid? i was probably like 19″

whaaaaaattttt!

assuming he was your age (which he was), you do the quick maths in your head

that was like .... 4 years ago !

how the hell did he get so good in such little time???? enough to be teaching courses ???

“not knowing how to swim is nothing to be embarrassed about y/n, if anything it takes a lot of courage to even sign up for a class so don’t beat yourself up too much for not getting it right away”

he ruffles your wet hair, a small affectionate gesture

you didn’t know how it was possible but you were falling for this man and QUICKLY at that

he was just so ??$%@^!

UGHHHH

“so let’s try one more time, and if you still can’t get it then we’ll push it to next week, a free extra lesson on me”

eeeeek

though the temptation to purposely fails was very intriguing indeed, you still had to try for the sake of it

if you got it, you got it, and if you didn't well ....

an extra week with jungkook it was :D

“you ready?”

you nod your head

“1...2...”

you float and begin to paddle, this time actually getting the hang of it !!!

you hear jungkook’s muffled voice from above the surface, “there you go!!”

holy shit !

you officially knew how to swim !!!

at least enough to save your own life if push came to shove

once you were out of breath, you stand back up, a grin on both of your faces

for jungkook it was hard not to tackle you in excitement so instead he settled for a very enthusiastic high five

“you did it!” he cheers

“ahhh!” you giggle like a child

“from here on out, the rest is a piece of cake!”

yay yay yay !!!

“now let’s start working on deeper strokes, maybe we’ll even have time to throw in backstrokes!”

:////

noticing your changed expression, he awkwardly laughs while scratching his neck

“or maybe not”

this week was the final week of swimming lesson with jungkook

:((

last week’s lesson of treading water and perfecting your swim seemed to had gone by in literally the blink of an eye !

and so today was possible the last time you’d see jungkook unless you managed to grow the balls and ask him out once that clock hit 4, once you were no longer his “student"

by now you were 100% sure you liked the dude... like a lot

and he was definitely someone you wanted to get to know outside of this pool

you just weren’t sure if he liked you the same way

you mean yeah there were definitely times that had you raising an eyebrow here and there, but you always excused it as him simply being a kind hearted person by nature

because clearly his five star rating on the company’s website had to come from somewhere

not that you checked or anything....

who were you kidding

yes you did

your favorite review was the one that went..

“wow!! this dude is amazing !! came here for beginner lessons and even i found myself fawning for the dude , and i don’t even play for that side of the team !! not only were his lessons thorough, but he’s a very charming person ! 10/10 recommend!”

and so you were stuck

did he liked you or was he just treating you like he treated everyone??

“ahh y/n,” jungkook’s voice suddenly brings you back to reality

“today’s our final lesson!” he announces, not sounding too sad

in fact he sounded excited

damn :/

he playfully jumps into the pool, today being his so called “fun day”

“so since today’s your last lesson i thought i could teach you how to do a.....”

he pauses for dramatic purposes

“SOmERSAuLT!!”

immediately your eyes light up

ahhhhhHHHH!!!!

you always wanted to learn how to do a somersault in water, remembering the number of times you’d look at your friend in jealousy whenever she did one

“you ready??”

eagerly you nod your head yes

“okay so the steps to doing a summersault is first of course, you need to take a deep breath”

okayyyy

“from there you tuck your chin to your chest, next you do the moment of the somersault by swinging your chest forward and gently kicking out your legs, so basically forming a ball and then kicking out. naturally, if you have enough momentum, you’ll spin, but if you don’t just use your arms to complete it”

“think you can give me a demonstration?” you innocently ask

he winks at you, “of course i can”

taking in a deep breath, he follows his own instructions, and you watch he perfectly executes his somersault

“woahhh, that was so cool!” you say, even now finding the trick to be amazing

“now i dont expect you to get it right away, so right now that you try i’m going tog hide you thought the movement so you get the gist of it”

sounds fair enough

you weren’t trying to drown on your last day either

“okay, you ready?”

“yes”

“let’s get it!”

taking a deep breath in, you feel jungkook’s hand get placed on your back, ready to push you so you could do the somersault

“1...2...”

and slowly you feel yourself spin with the help of jungkook, a smile already forming on your face

“ahhh!” you smile big and wide, causing Jungkook to smile along with you

“you think you’re ready to try it on your own???”

“yes sir”

“okay 1....2....”

mustering up as much as force you possible could, you push yourself into ball and successfully do the somersault

YUPPPPP

WHOSE DOING IT LIKE YOU???!$%@$!

feeling an immediate rush of adrenaline, you begin to splash water all over once you come back up for air, declaring an all out water fight with jungkook

soon the two of you are chasing one another, you now using your new swimming abilities to get away

hehe

you’re a swimmer

the sound of jungkook’s infectious laughter fill the air and soon you feel him grab your waist at an attempt to stop you

“gotcha” he says, and he turns you around to face him

slowly each other’s heavy breathing becomes relaxed, and it’s as if you’ve felt a shift occur in what you considered your new “friendship”

“so....” he awkwardly says, hands still wrapped around your waist

his was was RED

like cherry tomatoes red

this only makes you giggle

if you had doubts before, you DEFINITELY didn’t have em anymore

he liked you :))))

and you liked him :))))

and in ten minutes you were officially no longer his student so......

“there’s this new restaurant that opened near my place....” you say

immediately his eyes light up

“cancun eats?”

you nod your head and he gives you a toothy grin

“i was wondering if you’d want to go out some time...” you muster up the courage to ask him out

%^@%!@&!@^&@%! = jungkook’s brain

holy crap !!!

you liked him!!!

he wasn’t just delusional !!!

“hello?? jungkook??” you laugh, waving a hand in front of his face for jungkook.exe had truly stopped working this time

nodding his head yes like a child, the two of you being to lean closer to another, the clear goal in mind being each other’s lips

because honestly you’d come this far now, might as well give him a ....

“wait!” he suddenly interrupts he glances at the digital clock on the wall, remembering your final lesson officially ends at 4

because no way in hell was he going to get fired for kissing a student on the clock

3:59

.....

4:00

“okay now,” he smiles, and you only roll your eyes, happy to have taken up on those swimming lessons.

a/n : i was gonna make this longer but this was always meant to be a small little head canon so :))) pls give this a like, comment, or a reblog if you enjoyed it !! (if u can of course) and my ask box is always open for whatever !! :)) see yall next time 💞

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illmetbymoonlight · 3 years

Text

Jynx Nightshade

Age 32

Gender Female

Eye Color purple iris, black sclera (originally green)

Hair Color Black/Dark Purple

Skin Color light grey

Species Human

Origin Earthrealm | Philadelphia, Pa

Resides Shang Tsung’s Island

Alliance Bi-Han/Noob Saibot (lover)

Abilities

Shadow magic and manipulation, create weapons from shadows, summon and command shadows, blend with shadows, create a shield out of shadows

Backstory

Jynx was born on a gloomy autumn day to Viktor and Astrid Nightshade in Philadelphia. Viktor was an Edenian with brief ties to the Lin Kuei, while Astrid was descended from a long line of witches. They raised their daughter with survival skills, fighting, and witchcraft. But they never told her why…

Jynx was never one to fit in and found herself ostracized by her peers. For as long as she can remember she always had a morbid curiosity with death and anything macabre. Not having many friends due to her odd personality led to poor interaction with others. Betrayal, abuse, and loneliness were all too familiar to her.

After graduating high school, she worked a few odd jobs making just enough money to get by. She was for the most part homeless, staying in various abandoned buildings. During this time her parents were murdered but no one was charged and the case went cold. This led to further decline in her mental health which eventually led to her suicide attempt.

As she drags a razorblade down her wrists, she is unknowingly being watched by Bi-Han/Noob Saibot. He watches from the shadows as she slowly bleeds out debating whether or not to hasten her death but decides on the twisted idea of torturing her by denying her what she wants. He sends his shadow into her wounds to heal them.

Jynx awakes and after momentarily thinking she is dead finds herself alive and now on Shang Tsung’s abandoned island. Her skin turns grey and her eyes black and purple. She also gains new shadow powers and abilities that she believes are somewhat connected to her witchcraft heritage. The piece of Noob’s shadow now living in her forms a bond between her and Noob.

While distant and cold at first Noob eventually warms up to her and helps her learn how to use her abilities and practice fights. Over time her powers grow stronger as well as her bond with Noob. Eventually an attraction forms between them that at first is mostly only physical but evolves into something more.

When Jynx’s powers are at their peak she is potentially stronger than him, but never chooses to find out for real. The shadow brings out her underlying darkness and she acknowledges that she has turned into some kind of monster but doesn’t care. After being rejected over and over again she found acceptance and even some kind of love with Noob, even if he was also a monster.

Having fully mastered her powers, Noob teaches her how to manipulate space to teleport and open portals like he does. She begins to leave the island more and more. Sometimes she exacts revenge on the men who abused her, but most of the time she spends trying to find her parents murderer and the answer to the question she’s always had: Why were they murdered?

Miscellaneous

Noob calls her his shadow as a nickname/pet name.

When fighting an opponent, she enjoys replicating their signature weapon with her shadow magic. “That looks fun.”

Favorite colors are black and purple.

Always wears the pentagram/pentacle her mother gave her when she turned 16. A family heirloom that has been passed down for many generations.

The scars from her suicide attempt are of a purple color from Bi-Han’s shadow entering through the cuts.

The part of Noob’s shadow residing inside her forms a bond between them allowing them to sense each other’s presence and feelings. This also gives Jynx dreams and nightmare’s of Noob’s life, death, and afterlife. And as long as he “lives,” so shall she.

Despite her connection to and affection for Noob, Earthrealm is still her home and she will do whatever it takes to protect it.

Hobbies include collecting bones, searching for her parents’ killer, and baking.

Has fantasized about a threesome with Noob and his shadow Saibot

Loves thunderstorms and getting caught in the rain. Ironically also enjoys piña coladas.

Enjoys jump rope, especially the challenge of two person, one rope style. She has never been the one to mess up first.

Prefers tea to coffee. Welsh Brew black tea, 2 sugars, cream. Pumpkin Spice Lattes are the exception.

Into BDSM, mainly being tied up, choked, and most activities that leave marks. Not into Daddy kink and repulsed by blow jobs and she won’t hesitate to stab someone if they even mention golden showers. Probably has a blood kink. Her safe word is cupcake.

[ Jynx x Noob Masterpost ] [ Buy Me A Kofi ]

Character Image made with X-Girl Maker on Doll Divine / Y8 Games | Edited with PicsArt

#jynx mk #jynx nightshade #mk oc #mortal kombat oc #mk jynx

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xxsmokeyy · 4 years

Note

ok so how about a story where (preferably bi) reader and levi both fall for petra and there's this competition between them as to who can win petras heart first but after petras death (or some other issue; your choice) they both mourn and bond with each other and realize that all those times they tried to outshine each other, they fell for each other instead

Levi x Petra x Bi! Reader (F) One Or The Other

genre: mild angst, fluff (healing)

summary: it’s a bit surprising that despite being rivals, both you and Levi have gotten through a lot together. before you know it, you’re already seeking refuge from one another.

tw: mentions of death

wc: 6,575

You know it’s a heck of a risk trying to aim for someone’s hand like Petra’s. She’s the entire definition of a dainty, lovely girl everybody admires, of course including you. Besides, you don’t even know if you stand a chance, not when there’s a tough guy your way.

Namely, Captain Levi.

Well, there’s another one named Oluo, but you don’t even think of him as a competition. Definitely not a threat as well.

“Hey,” you call the girl with strawberry blonde hair. She looks back at you with a smile and stands upright, wiping the sweat trickling down her neck. You watch as she tucks her hair behind both her ears to get rid of the stray fringes. Isn’t she just hot?

“Need help?” you ask, ready to give her a hand upon seeing her singlehandedly clean the stables.

“I don’t think Captain would allow that,” Petra says before petting the said man’s horse. “Am I right, big boy?” she talks to it, combing its black mane with her slender fingers. Adorable.

“One dick of a Captain we have, don’t you think?” you say, rolling your eyes heavenwards as the image of your superior passes by your mind. “Hmm, not really. I believe his austerity is right just the way it is,” she says in full decision. Of course. The one thing you don’t like about her is the way she worships the shitty Captain like some kind of noble man.

You let out a disappointed sigh, crossing your arms. “You have got to stop being a clean freak apologist, Petra. Unless you’re inlove with him or something,” you point out and take a step towards her, taking away the broomstick from her other hand.

She’s visibly spent to the bones, tending to the horses all by herself to meet the Captain’s regulations. He only always assigns one person per duty, saying soldiers should learn how to clean alone just as much as learning how to fight, which is an utterly dumb stance in your opinion.

When she blushes by your words, a small pang hits your heart. It’s just as you guessed.

Not that it’s not so achingly obvious enough these past few years, but it’s only gotten worse ever since the new 104th recruits joined the Scout Regiment. She keeps praising the dickhead in front of them whenever they ask about him, telling them a variety of stories stretching from way back, it’s ridiculous.

“I don’t!” She really doesn’t. She just idolizes him so much that it comes across as romance. People keep rubbing to her face that she’s inlove, though it’s definitely not what she feels.

Her denial nature and easily flustered reactions keep your spirits low, almost surmising with a conclusion that you had no chance at all if not for the fact that she never made romantic advances to him her whole stay in the army.

“You do,” you avert your gaze, not wanting her to notice the brewing jealousy in your eyes, else she might avoid you or act awkward if she finds out.

“I don’t!” she presses, accidentally pulling on the horse’s crest, forcing a neigh out of it. Petra apologizes to it like it can understand her. “If that isn’t definitely guilty, I don’t know what is,” you mumble under your breath, releasing another sigh as you start sweeping the scattered hay.

Once the Captain’s horse calms down, she faces you, hands on her waist, ready to explain her feelings in fine details. “Look—“

“Who said you can slack off?” Speak of the devil. Your conversation is given a good interruption when the dark haired man arrives.

Petra immediately fixes herself, fist slamming to her chest as acknowledgment of the Captain’s presence. “We weren’t, Captain! She just wanted to help me out,” Petra clarifies right away, voice firm and booming.

You feel the infamous pair of fierce eyes dart on you, and you briefly thank anything that first comes in mind for your current position, back facing the Captain so he can’t see your disgusted scowl.

You prep yourself and turn around, giving him a half-assed salute. “I just finished with the laundry. Thought I could give her a hand,” you say, tone almost holding no formality at all, “—sir,” you lazily add.

His brows twitch as he hears you out. Brat.

“I don’t recall telling everyone to work in pairs, neither of you understood that?” he pinpoints, staring you dead in the face. You’re not intimidated, though, not one bit. If you think I’m scared, you can kiss your own ass. “I insisted. In case you didn’t notice, she’s tired,” you inform, steadiness unwavering. What is even wrong with assisting someone? This merciless prick.

“Oh?” He walks toward you in strides, easily coming face-to-face with you in a span of seconds.

“Come to my office, Petra,” he orders without looking at her, and the woman gives you one last glance, then making off after giving him a polite yes. There it is. He’s about to show his true colors, you just know it.

“Cheap way to win her over,” Levi lowly spits at you, and you can feel his hot breath ghosting harshly over your face. “If you’re so kind, do it all over again,” he orders lastly, internally entertained by how your eyes shut close in fury, grip on the broomstick tightening.

As he finally steers to leave, you swear in your life you never wanted to hit someone so damn much it’d knock them out cold.

Levi heads back, footsteps fading into the background, and an exasperated groan leaves your mouth. You frustratedly throw the broom to the floor, startling his horse, which does nothing but make your blood boil stronger in your veins. Fuck him!

—

You lie down on the hard ground, even more deadbeat than the girl you opted to help. For shit’s sake, who knew this is what you get for volunteering to be of use? You can only imagine how the new cadets would have it hard once the Captain notices their mediocre cleaning skills.

It’s probably nearing curfew, you guess from the excessive appearance of stars in the skies, but your muscles are strained stiff you can’t come inside any time now. You were left with no choice but start from scratch. If you act up and not clean up to his standards, you’ll only get it way worse, so you decided not to push him further.

You sense someone approach you, and you strongly wish it isn’t Levi. He’s the last creature you’d like to see today.

Soft and familiar amber eyes greet yours from upside down, a petite body looming over you, and you couldn’t be anymore thankful. Petra gives you a sympathetic look before sitting down beside your laid form, keeping her hands behind her back.

“I told you,” she starts, “it’d be no good if Captain sees, but you insisted and he arrived! Now look at you, you’re absolutely exhausted, aren’t you?” she continues to scold, though it doesn’t strike you as a scolding. More of a concern, yes. A smile creeps up your lips.

“Just give me the bread,” you confidently say, and she sighs in defeat before revealing the pastry she had in hand. Your heart feels giddy as you sit up straight, taking the food she went out of her way to prepare. It’s like the tiredness just disappeared into thin air. What an angel.

Petra scrunches her nose as she watches you eat in speed. You cock a brow as you see her look at you like you’re— “Do I stink?” you frantically question and smell yourself all over. No way, you’ll definitely get points off now!

She giggles bubbly and shakes her head to dismiss your assumptions. “No, but you’re biting like you haven’t eaten in ages. That famished?” she asks once she’s calmed down.

You feel heat rise to your cheeks, unsure of what to think. She’s definitely an angel, especially when she smiles. You sigh for the nth time, “Obviously. Did you see how much of a bastard our Captain is? In all honesty, I’d prefer Hange as our squad leader,” you complain and resume to munching.

“I don’t know about that,” she says, gaze boring into yours. You tear your eyes off of her and stare at the horse stalls. “What did the old geezer make you do?”

“Nothing, just a bunch of paperwork,” she says truthfully. Oh, for all you know, he just wanted her all to himself. What an unfair move, using his authority to have her alone.

You angrily bite down on the bread, later realizing you’ve finished it. As she observes you, her eyes widen, suddenly remembering something. “I forgot your water!” she exclaims and rises to her feet, but you stop her before she can leave, grabbing her soft hand.

Your chest stutters involuntarily from the contact and you compose yourself right away. “It’s alright, I’ll get it myself. Go back to your room before Captain catches you,” you urgently say, not wanting her to get in trouble again. “Just help me up,” you ask to which she generously follows. You briefly wish the moment could last longer.

“You sure?” she quizzes when you finally stand up. Both of you heading inside, you nod and hum in agreement, “Thanks for the food.”

She gives you a smile as you both reach the halls, waving you goodbye before you part ways. Ahh, you feel all energetic now.

You walk to the mess hall, footsteps light and shallow. Judging from the dimly lit corridors, it must be a few minutes away from curfew. You just hope you don’t bump into some higher-ups. Hange’s fine, though.

As you push the door open, you regret it right away. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” you mutter unintelligibly. Aside from the raven haired man, the room is dead empty, a lone candle in a chamberstick providing dull light. Technically, he is the last creature you see tonight.

You have lost count of how many sighs you’ve released the whole day, all energy in your body draining once again. Steel eyes lock on you as you enter. There’s no turning back now. Well, at least Petra isn’t the one who found him here.

Levi cocks a brow as he watches you proceed inside, seemingly heading to the water jug. You stay quiet and take a glass, then filling it with water. As much as possible, you don’t want to converse with him.

He seems like he won’t let you succeed with that. “Done with the stables?” he asks, sipping on his tea.

“Yeah,” you curtly answer, not up for some bantering.

“Some goody two shoes you are,” he scoffs, ticking you off, but you refuse to let it show. You face him and lean your back against the counter. “Like you’re any better with your assholish attitude,” you sass him out, drinking on your water all the while remaining eye contact. You’ll show him.

“And you complain like the little brat that you are,” he rebuts.

“You’re just threatened that she might go for me behind your back when I just wanted to help,” you answer with a shrug, taking a few steps closer to the table he’s seated.

“Women like you like to play dirty.”

“You don’t know a thing about women,” you snide with a condescending smile, belittling the man before you. He can’t be one to talk about women when he treats you like shit. If there’s someone Petra might end up with, you sure as heck wouldn’t want it to be this guy.

He throws you a glare, piqued by your words before standing on his feet and and walking his way to you. You stay steady, unfazed by the intimidation he’s giving off.

“After all these years, do you seriously think you stand a chance?” he deadpans, which strikes straight to your feelings. He doesn’t have to emphasize that, you already know it, memorized it even.

“I don’t know, but it’d be just as much as a loss if she chooses you,” you say, slamming the glass you’re holding onto the table. After giving him one last glare, you turn your back on him, having enough of the senseless arguments.

He hates how you only ever treat him as a Captain in the battlefield, but not when you’re at ease. You always looked at him like an arch nemesis of the sort, not afraid to answer back at him like he doesn’t deserve your respect. He stressfully closes his eyes and massages his temples as you leave.

—

You sit on the bench, just in front of the Captain, who is currently beside your beloved Petra. Look at him making his moves. You roll your eyes discreetly, sipping on your fresh tea.

“What are you, on a diet or some crap?” Levi asks, finding Petra’s plate empty, bowl of soup halfway finished.

“No, I gave it to the girl you made run laps,” she informs, “she almost passed out, you know.” Right? you wanted to agree but decide to sit still and listen.

Levi doesn’t answer, and instead puts his own loaf of bread on her vacant dish. “Eat. We have an upcoming expedition,” he only says and sips on the liquid left in his cup. Petra’s cheeks turn into a feminine shade of pink, and you so wanted to pull her away from him. She exclaims a yes and starts munching. Great, I should’ve done that first.

You’re not about to put up without a fight, though.

“Dear Captain has to eat as well, don’t you think?” you sarcastically chime in, transferring your unmoved bread onto his plate. “Can’t have him thinned to bones when the walls get breached again,” you add, innocent smile downright infuriating to Levi’s eyes.

You desperately try to keep in your barging laugh to yourself as you watch him look at his plate disgustedly.

What do you say, Petra? I’m just as kind as he is, right? That show off.

Petra hums in agreement and nudges the Captain to eat, a string of hearty giggles leaving her velvet lips, alluring about a total of three people from the same table. You heart skips a round of beats as you watch her flash her toothy grins. Talk about an appetizing view.

Her giggles boil down as realization hits her. She gives you a mixed look of confusion and thoughtfulness, opening her mouth to speak and stop you on your tracks.

“But—”

You wave her off before she can shove her worries to you and prop yourself up, momentarily stretching your limbs in relaxation to then pick up your dirtied china.

“Don’t worry, Petra, I’m already full,” confidence brimming in your tone, you tell her and take your leave. But not without giving the Captain one last glimpse. It was even more appetizing to see him pissed.

Your other comrades only watch in awe as they see the unnamed rivalry uncover ahead of their eyes, your victorious smile determining the whose triumph it is for today.

How about that?

—

When you finish with dish duty, you head to the dining area once more to check if the sconce candles are extinguished, only to find them still lit and burning, with a side of holy bastard, as you like to call him. Of all people.

“Here again? What is this, your lounge room or something?” you mockingly ask and take a seat in front of him, wiping your wet hands on your pants. He ignores you.

You purse your lips out of observation. He must be a tea addict, having another one after dinner. “Are you always here every night?” you ask again, initiating a genuine conversation.

He finally looks at you and sets his tea on the table, a bit surprised by your question. “I am,” he answers. You nod, about to ask another question but he beats you to it.

“I’m removing you from the flank,” he suddenly blurts, taking you aback. What? Your rested face visibly loses composure as your brows furrow together.

“What do you mean? Is it because I shitted on you earlier? Oh please, do you think I’ll hit on Petra while on a mission?” you continuously spurt in one go, hackles slowly raising.

“It’s not about her. Erwin specifically asked for you to join his group since you apparently answered him right,” he remarks, completely calm. You are smart, that’s already a given that he knows, it’s just that feelings can get over the best of you that he doesn’t find rational.

Your ragged breathing upon taking him the wrong way steadies as you listen. “The Commander?” you confirm and he grunts his response. “Alright then, you better watch over her in my stead.”

Levi takes a glance at you, steel grey eyes holding an unreadable expression, which you find amusing and triggers a laugh out of you. It’s like his answer should have been already staring you in the face. Naturally, he’ll do that without you ordering him.

He can be cute at times, can’t he? In a funny way of course, you inwardly clear out.

Meanwhile, he thinks you’re out of your mind as you humor yourself. He’d honestly like it if you just leave him alone right now, which you eventually did, waving him goodbye.

The night before the expedition, you pay Petra’s room a short visit.

She answers the door within three quiet knocks. “Hey,” you greet with a smile and she offers to let you in forthrightly. “No! It’s fine, I just need a few seconds,” you dismiss.

“What is it?” she curiously asks, now face to face with you as you stand in her doorway.

“I won’t be with you tomorrow, so you better take care. Stick with Gunther, or Oluo. If possible, not with the Captain,” you whisper the last bit jokingly, but she ignores it and only questions why you’re separated. You explain the situation to her, leaving out the confidential details.

Petra nods, stroking her chin. You notice she’s already in her nightwear and is probably prepared to sleep, so you decide to return to your own quarters.

“Take care, alright?” you remind, eyes boring into her borderline gold ones. They were pretty and gentle, a pair you always adored through the years.

Petra wishes you the same and then a good night, strongly wanting to unite with you safely after the mission you could feel it deep inside you.

As you look at her, you‘re certain that you haven’t met a more loving person your whole life. Will there ever come a time that you’d confess to her? Probably not. If you’re being frank, you don’t think what you feel for her is that deep a love that you’d go out of your way to initiate a romantic bond. If nothing else, it might only be admiration, an attachment at most. You like her, that goes without saying, but there isn’t any room for in depth involvement, especially not in this line of work, you think.

The door to her room finally closed, you spin to get your own shuteye, only to see a familiar figure from a little distance.

The candlelights on the halls define the highest points of the man’s face beautifully, and you identify him without a hitch, dull grey orbs meeting yours.

“Let her sleep, and get your rest,” he briefly says before making off. Your eyes slightly largen from the lack of interaction, as opposed to the reprimanding you expected. Was he supposed to say his regards to her as well?

In all fairness, he didn’t go for your neck this time. Well, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Morning comes quickly, along with the falling into formation as sketched, the deployment of operation, and the arrays of discoveries you found in the progress. Everything happened quickly, and before you know it, the expedition is given an official beat to retreat.

You stand on the same branch as the Commander, waiting for his signal to flee after fighting off the wave of titans to defend the target. Three pair of your blades are blunted down to nubs from the excessive charges, and you think for a moment if you should replace them with new ones.

Catching your breath, you wipe dry your dampened skin and clothes. You watch as he idly chat with the Captain, instructing him to refill his gases. For what? I thought it’s over?

Levi listens to what he’s told, perceivably on his guard. Why is he even here? Where are the others? When you’re just about to call Levi’s attention, Erwin catches sight of you and the confusion resounding from your aura. He then permits you to break away from his flank and reunite with your own squad, and you gladly follow.

You first help clean up with the immobilizing equipment used on the spy, telling Hange to prepare for withdrawal. She passes the message onto the other soldiers, commanding them to bestride their horses to then get going.

You still don’t know where to find your teammates, so you stick with the higher-ups a little longer.

Since you’ll travel by horse from here on, you decide not to meddle with your gears anymore. You hop on the saddle and lightly yank the reigns to start moving, and with everyone else, you ride through the woods, thousands of questions ready inside your head.

A few moments later, you hear Erwin converse with Hange regarding the spy, about how they must still be alive and how they must’ve blended in by now. You feel the tension rising as you listen to his assumptions, trying to register everything he’s trying to come across with, and it all makes sense when you hear two consecutive thundering of little intervals.

You quickly turn around and swerve, shifting your weight to guide your horse back to where the booming sound came from. It’s the alleged sound intelligent titans make when they transform, and you know push has come to shove if you hear two of them.

As far as you remember, the key weapon was situated together with your squad, you being the only one left out, so you’ll find them where Eren is. You let your horse gallop in great speed, heart thumping loudly in your chest it’s almost deafening. Please, be safe.

It feels like decades have already gone by when you arrive at the terrorizing scene of carnage.

You put your horse to an abrupt halt and jump off, cold sweat breaking without control as you stumble upon corpses and corpses you achingly recognize, the life in their eyes strenuously extracted. Gunther, Eld, Oluo… Petra.

An immense vertigo hits your head, your field of vision blurring upon seeing them drained of consciousness. You refuse to accept the view, shaking your head like a child in utmost declination. It seems you’ve only followed behind the Captain, finding him looking at the same plight.

“Levi…” you helplessly call as if seeking for refuge and saving. But it horrifies you the most when you meet his dead gaze deprived of rest, almost exactly looking like theirs, striking violently at your heart. No, not you, too…

Streams of tears shed endlessly from the corners of your eyes, and Levi doesn’t know what to do. He’s beyond pained, watching the only comrade he has left on his team slowly break down due to the shambles. He can’t afford to be frozen by the fathomless torment he’s currently trying to overcome, nor does he have the luxury to stay by your side and console you.

He has no choice but to keep moving.

“Call the others for assistance and put their bodies on a carriage,” are the last words he gives you before taking his leave, wires zipping and clutching into the surfaces of the tree barks as he skillfully maneuvers with his gear.

You think for a second, is he that used to losing people? but you completely miss out on how he slashes the giant enemy in great anger, expertly cutting flesh like he’s never done before as if it’s his only chance to momentarily pour out his emotions, all the while trying to stay objective.

Your whole body weakens and you fall to your knees, getting a closer look at the dead woman before your sight. Your hand acts on its own, stretching out to painstakingly tuck Petra’s locks behind her ear like how she always styled it. Your lips tremble as you attempt to fight your threatening sobs back.

She has slipped out from both your reaches.

Since then, you limited your interactions to those that were only really necessary, because for the first time in a while, you feel utterly alone. Years of having the sweet girl by your side all gone into the dust, along with the overwhelming loss of your whole squad, everything is weighing you down.

Flashes of memories come at the most misplaced time every now and then, and you can’t handle it when it triggers in public, causing you to lock yourself up in your room, weeping in secret.

You can’t be any more thankful to your Captain for letting you wallow in your own way of coping. Most importantly, though a small part of you still doesn’t want to admit, you’re more than grateful he stayed alive all throughout the last of the mission, coming back home with you.

You still remember the hurt in his eyes that no matter how hard he attempted to conceal, still peers out. It was visible when you had no choice but to throw the bodies out of the carriages, bringing not a single fallen soldier back. It was visible when Petra’s father asked the Captain for his daughter, even going as far as spilling his plans of arranging a marriage between the two young pair.

It’s haunting you so much, you haven’t had an hour of sleep after arriving back even if there’s an upcoming operation. Despite it being against your will, you frequently wonder how he’s doing.

One night, you find yourself walking through the halls, unable to force your mind to just shut down and rest without stressing out for the uncountable time.

You don’t know why you’re fully decisive of where to go and who to find. You don’t know why you feel calmer every step further. You don’t know why you’re so eager as you push on the wooden doors of the mess hall. You don’t know why you already expected to see him there.

“Oh, look at the old geezer drinking his tea in the dark. Do you know what time it is? It’s past curfew,” you inform sarcastically, voice also forging a front to sound normal. It’s not yet past curfew, you just want to tick him off.

“You’re only four years younger, and it’s not,” Levi answers as he lets his eyes land on yours. It’s obvious you’re only trying to clown around, the exhaustion in your face giving away your crestfallen state.

“What? How do you know that?” you ask, scandalized.

“I recognize the time.”

“I meant my age?”

“Because I am your Captain, woman. Don’t push me,” he hisses and brings his teacup into his mouth, the hot beverage staining on his tongue just the way he likes it. Even more so that it’s the only thing he can rely on at the moment. That’s what he thinks.

You scowl and sigh. Fair enough.

You take a seat in front of him and he gives you an unreadable look, as usual. Does he feel intruded? All of a sudden, you feel shy, hoping you’re not bothering him.

“What? I won’t mess with you, I’m tired,” you argue upon seeing him stare you down like something’s off with you.

Levi studies your expression, finding your face a bit similar to his in a not so positive way. With a shallow sigh, he decides to let you be and do what you want.

You prop your cheek on your elbow and maintain eye contact. “How’s your leg?” you quiz, genuinely curious of his current condition. The bastard brought home an injury as souvenir, rendering him downright useless for the plans the Scouts had right ahead.

“Not good,” he says, earning him a hum in response. The longer he lets his glance stay on yours, the more he notices the little details in the way you presented yourself.

Tonight, you spared no effort in fixing your hair, still a bit messy from the tossing and turning earlier in desperate hopes to fall asleep. Your lips were dry and chapped, he notes to call you out for it later. For all he knows, you might be dehydrated already. Your eyes? Unquestionably racked with pain.

You rest your face on top of your overlapped arms and settle to find a comfortable position.

“Go to your room if you want to sleep,” he orders, which you only ignore. Does he seriously think you’ve been able to sleep these days? Because you’re sure as heck he can’t with those dark under eyes of him. “Your neck will only get stiff in that position,” he adds.

Something about the company he generously, though not obviously, offers makes your eyelids fall shut in ease, his baritone voice helping your nerves compose themselves.

“I said I’m tired, give me a break…” you gradually lose volume as you speak, slowly drifting off without knowing.

Levi clicks his tongue when you finally succumb to drowsiness.

It’s not like he doesn’t have any options left, but he couldn’t do anything as he stays all night to watch over you. Surprisingly enough, the company felt comforting that he can’t bring himself to leave.

Couple hours later, he’s still up and reading a book when he hears a soft whimper escape your lips. Levi takes a glimpse at you and is a bit baffled to catch sight of a lone driblet trickling from your lids.

Sighing, he feels inclined to wipe it away with his thumb in sympathy and does as his subconscious says. The moment his calloused finger touches your skin, he realizes that you were undeniably warm. So much for a brat like you.

When you wake up, you feel a heavy cloth wrapped around your soldiers. You check the surroundings and remember falling asleep in the dining, later seeing that the fabric is a tan jacket, a uniform. The familiar scent enters your nostrils, and you name its owner right away.

An involuntary wave of heat rises to your cheeks and you’re uncertain why. It’s Captain Levi’s.

It makes you contemplate out of nowhere, was it wrong to treat him like a competition?

Thinking about it, you kind of regret not being casual with him. Without question, you’re not really in best terms with him, having an eye for the same person for a long time, that should be understood. He’s an outstanding soldier, that you can admit, but you can’t exactly put up with his strict ways at times, some of it coming off as irrational.

Maybe you should really just accept the fact that he’s a great Captain nevertheless. Because even though you viewed him like that all this time, he’s still being considerate in some ways.

A small smile forms on your lips. You definitely should start warming up to him. He’s the only team you’ve got left.

—

Tray in hand, you enter the Captain’s room, not bothering with a knock. To hell with that, I’ve got a handful, if he complains about his privacy or some crap, I’ll shove this damn food to his face.

Yes, you decided to bring him his lunch after the successful-fail raid in Stohess District. Honestly, you’re damn tired to the bones, but you take it upon yourself to give Levi a short visit.

He gives you an annoyed stare, obviously not expecting your company, and you only roll your eyes. “What’s that?” he asks.

“Food. What, is your old age getting to you? Need some glasses?” you talk back, not up for his dumb question.

Things aren’t going so well for the Survey Corps, political stances going against your brigade, comrades dying one by one you’re not entirely sure if their death was in vain or not. It’s only a miracle the Commander found a way to nullify the consequences about to come your way. That’s why Levi better not raise your hackles bad or your brain will completely explode in front of him.

He ignores your sardonic jest and eyes the tray, primarily looking for the tea, if you brought one. You did. But he keeps his hands to himself for a while.

“It’s too early for dinner, and I could’ve gone to get my own food.” An exasperated sigh escapes your throat, hearing his argument.

“This is your late lunch, sir,” you inform candidly, taking him by surprise. True enough, you didn’t mean to be so observant, but you saw him skip lunch earlier before the raid. Heck, this isn’t even the first time he deliberately missed it. You know he’s still unwell and at a loss just as much as you are—maybe even worse, and that’s preventing him from taking care of himself.

Of course, he’s still your Captain whom you’re willing to serve, wholeheartedly, at that. Hence, you’re going to take care of him if he’s not doing it himself, whether he likes it or not. If even this guy leaves you, then you’ll probably arrive at the end of your wits.

With an exasperated sigh, you set his meal on top of the nightstand right beside his bed. “Are you enjoying being a useless Captain?” you cross your arms and quiz, having enough of his prideful attempts for rejection.

“Tch, you know full well I’m not,” he answers and averts his glance, looking outside the window and the dimming skies.

“Then eat your food and stop complaining,” you lastly command, real bossy and assertive that he’s on the brink of cocking a brow in question.

He falls silent. You were right, he won’t get any better if he continues to mistreat himself. Besides, it’s already you who went out of your way to prepare him food, he shouldn’t just let that go to waste. Finally giving in, Levi first grabs the teacup by its mouth and takes a sip, nose immediately scrunching in repulsion upon tasting the beverage. You might be trying to poison him, after all.

“This tea is shit.”

“I said stop complaining.”

—

A whole different wave of hurdles and complications just got overcome after the wall breach alarm got deemed false, and three new intelligent titans were revealed. Seeming as though those weren’t even enough, humanity’s key weapon got kidnapped as well. Naturally, a rescue operation was deployed to action, losing a ton more soldiers in the process.

Everything is starting to become overwhelming, you’re both physically and mentally exhausted, and emotionally. Everything is beginning to feel like a pain in the neck, as if the Scout Regiment didn’t have that way from the start.

It’s actually just as you guessed. When you went outside without a full functioning team and a Captain to follow orders from, you felt lost and misplaced. The novel experience was depressing, to say the least, moving forward without the ones you’ve fought side by side with through the years.

You can’t help but find yourself looking for a familiarity, a middle ground of the sort. Feeling like a storm is building up inside you for trying to suppress your problems all by yourself.

On the low spirited trip back, you eventually realize you needed someone. And who else is there aside from him?

You ride your horse back to the walls, aching for his presence. Anything that has to do with him, you want to see and feel.

It’s almost like vexing decades have passed when you arrive and return to the headquarters. You hop off your horse, movements slow and back hunched, aura visibly despondent.

Your half lidded eyes desperately scan the fields to search for that one person, comforting satisfaction taking over your entire body as you find him standing a few meters away from your form.

Funnily enough, he was waiting for you just the same.

Levi couldn’t decipher what shitty smile you tried to give him, it was only plain pitiful in his eyes that his guts are telling him to walk over to you and give you a welcome. He didn’t have to do it, though.

Because maybe you did the first step. Maybe you took big strides or maybe you eagerly ran to his figure to feel his warmth against your body. But nothing else matters when you reach out both your trembling arms to him, now wrapped around his sturdy body, locking him in an embrace you never thought you’d feel your whole life.

You slowly descend to a sobbing mess, completely abandoning the idea of you looking like a mere crybaby in his eyes. He’ll surely bring this up some other time, but damn that. All you know is that you needed this, badly.

It’s shameful, being fully aware that you’re slowly eating your words. Whenever you think of how you put the tiny distance between you and him, you just want to slap your palm across your face. In reality, he isn’t so bad.

You want to thank him for letting you free yourself and let it all out, but your awfully shaky sobs are hindering you from doing so.

Levi senses your exhaustion, and a whole other variety of intense emotions. You’ve been keeping some burden to yourself, too. It’s amusing to him in a way that you’re both similar in a lot of things. Especially in the bad habit of bottling oneself up, assuming it’d do any better.

Deep down, he’s glad you let loose and opened your walls to him. He cares for you, after all.

As you weep against his chest, lungs stuttering and eyes turning bloodshot, Levi allows his hand to pat your back, lightly stroking it to make you calm down.

It is, indeed, wordlessly reassuring, telling you that he was there. You never imagined that of all people, he had the ability to offer the exact solace you’re looking for, just with the simple gesture.

For once, he lets it slide that you’re all bloody, sweaty, dirty, filthy—name it—when making contact with him. He just doesn’t know that needed this as well. In fact, the entire time you were away, his foot mindlessly tapped in full expectancy of your arrival, waiting with bated breath. Not like he’ll admit that.

“Don’t you dare speak,” you threaten amidst your shaky hiccups, and he almost finds it amusing how you can still manage to act so tough in front of him when you’re already breaking down against him.

He secretly heaves out a sigh, the expression of relief escaping your ears, “Brat.”

Both of you stand there underneath the twilight to dusk horizon, ignoring how some of your subordinates watch you in shock, or how you’re not halfway the trouble yet, still utterly clueless of what lies ahead. Because right now, you were still together. You had each other, someone to lean on in this wretched mess.

Without the two of you knowing precisely why, both your hearts feel a tad bit alive.

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