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jenscx · 4 months

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LET ME IN — yu jimin x f!reader

you return to your hometown after being overseas for years. there was no possible way for you to anticipate your old high school sweetheart waiting at the airport.

TAGS — angst, little fluff, exes to lovers, happy ending, high school sweetheart, cursing

WORDCOUNT — 5.1k

the sweater that you had picked out today, feels unfamiliar on your skin. it’s the one which reads, ‘seniors of 2018’. it’s the one you had never gone near, leaving it to rot in your closet. it’s the one that holds the most painful memories for you. how could a piece of clothing cause you so much pain?

frankly, you know why. it’s the one jimin had given to you as you left for the train to the airport. “something to remember me by,” she had stated after pulling it over the top of your head.

you had huffed, playfully asking, “how could i ever forget you?”

your closet had witnessed your stares— or rather glares at the sweater. not until an hour had passed, when you finally heaved a sigh and grabbed it off the hanger that was situated at the corner of the closet. it’s just because it’s comfortable, you had reasoned before. and it didn’t matter what you wore underneath the puffer jacket, it would end up covered.

of course, these were all excuses, trying to deny the very fact that it just reminded you of jimin. and you were very welcoming towards such reminders.

reminders of what?

you shake your head, picturing a blank canvas before the melodic laughter filled your ears. jimin’s laugh.

the screeching of your luggage’s wheels distract you. aeri’s standing at the door, a hand on your suitcase.

“hey girl,” she checks the watch on her wrist, “we gotta go. flight’s at 2.”

you nod, ignoring the fact that you had spent almost two whole hours thinking about the repercussions of returning back to… home? could you even call it that?

aeri seems to notice your inner turmoil, since in the taxi, she places a comforting hand over yours, sending you a small smile. while it didn’t really settle your nerves, you appreciated the effort nonetheless.

the journey to the boarding gate is like a fever dream. your airpods betraying you, randomly shuffling to a girls’ generation song. it was like a cry back to the past, when you and jimin would listen to girls’ generation songs together.

for jimin, you had complied.

you open your eyes, you can only see the back of someone’s head above the aeroplane’s seat. if you keep your eyes closed for too long, you might start to envision a blur of jimin’s perfect eyes, her nose, her lips that were always pursed in disappointment when she caught you and minjeong stealing her snacks…

the realisation that you can’t remember the face that once made you the happiest girl on the planet hits hard. it hits harder than the guilt and misery you felt when jimin, a week after you had left korea, sent a flurry of messages that went unresponded.

“i didn’t know you liked girls’ generation,” aeri comments. startled, you stare at your phone, the lock screen wallpaper being jimin’s back displaying girls’ generation’s holiday night baseball t-shirt. the girl had forced you to buy matching ones with her, you recall bitterly.

“i don’t,” you answer coolly, swiftly turning off your phone. aeri eyes you weirdly but eventually lets you off the hook and leans back into her seat.

the rest of the thirteen hours flight, you busy yourself with work— leftovers from the time before break, drafts of sketches, thesis statements and long-winded essays. while a plane was not the best environment to finish a full drawing, you could at least make some rough sketches. somehow, your pencil graphite gravitates from sturdy, concrete buildings to soft cheekbones, hooded eyes, pouty lips.

shit, you blink, taking in your subconscious sketch of a woman, familiar to your past.

almost instantly shutting your sketchbook shut, you ignore the implications of what your mind was telling you. the crew neck sweater itches at your neck. it’s almost like the words embroidered on the cotton burn into your heart, to always make you remember and recall the time before messy relationships, longing feelings and just enjoying the present time.

time. you didn’t have much of it anyway.

maybe this trip would allow you to make peace with the past. you wouldn’t flinch whenever your friends would talk about league of legends champion, ‘katarina’, or you wouldn’t immediately decline movie night with aeri in fear that one of the actresses would look eerily similar to jimin.

allowing your brain to wander past your comfort zone, you wonder what she's doing now. was she a flight stewardess? did she manage to finally get better at pubg? was her favourite colour still blue? did she still have that sparkle in her eyes when food was brought up?

the last thought makes you chuckle, reminiscing how excited jimin was whenever food was involved. when yizhuo would bring back mala snacks from china, jimin would be gone in a flash.

(so would yizhuo’s snacks, you can’t count the number of times you were forced to lie about who the perpetrator was.

maybe it was worth it when jimin would beam at you, flashing a bright smile that rivalled the shine of diamonds).

with bittersweet memories, you drift off. sleepless nights made up for, by just giving yourself permission to think about her.

you dream of crashing waves, two people on the shore, just sitting down and gazing at the scenery. the sunset’s everlasting in this timeline. like time doesn’t exist and all they did was stare at the deep ocean.

before you even get to see their faces, the announcement rings throughout the flight.

you sigh deeply, catching the attention of aeri.

“you okay? you slept so soundly, i thought you died,” the japanese girl asks worriedly. you laugh, it was the best sleep you ever got, and it was on an aeroplane.

strange how our consciousness works.

“i’m good,” this time you weren’t lying.

you stare at the glass doors, wondering if minjeong had told anyone else to come fetch you. it wasn’t a far fetched thought, maybe the girl had asked yizhuo to come as well. the chinese girl would kill minjeong if she didn’t tell her about your arrival back in korea after what? three, almost four years?

“hey, i asked my friend to pick us up and she might have brought someone else,” you warn aeri.

“oh that’s fun… why do you sound so scared?”

“because, the other girl is a little overbearing,” you scoff, “she might try to climb you, just a warning.”

aeri widens her eyes as you two drag your luggage to the gates.

she gapes, “no kidding? is she a koala or something?”

“something like that,” you shrug.

the doors open. it’s your first step (not really) into korea. the air is the same anywhere else, but the feeling isn’t.

it’s the feeling of uncertainty. the feeling of fear. aeri clasps your free hand tightly in hers, sensing your hesitance.

your gaze glides over the crowd of people waiting for their own family. aeri makes a noise of recognition and she pulls you to the side, you finally spot someone familiar.

“minjeong…!” you call out, voice going silent at the sight of a girl that is most definitely not minjeong.

it’s not yizhuo either, that’s for sure.

“did minjeong get plastic surgery or something?”

you want to run.

“because… that’s not— that’s not minjeong,” you whisper, “that’s yu jimin.”

aeri deadpans, “you say that like i know who the hell she is.”

you want to kill minjeong. and maybe jimin wants to kill aeri with how hard she’s glaring at her.

jimin only trots slowly towards you.

jimin’s eyes dart from aeri’s face back to yours, her hard, cold gaze trailing down to your sweater that has come uncovered by the puffer jacket. your eyes narrow when she raises an eyebrow at you, as if asking you, “why are you wearing that?”

you don’t answer her, because you don’t know either.

“i’m jimin, y/n’s—”

“friend,” you interrupt, quickly turning away to avoid the flash of hurt on jimin’s face.

the mentioned girl recovers quickly, putting on a fake smile, “classmate of y/n from high school.”

“i’m uchinaga aeri, y/n’s roommate, thank you for picking us up!” aeri grins widely, ignoring the deadly lasers pointing her way.

“where are you staying, if i may ask?” jimin’s sharp tone doesn’t go unnoticed by you.

“with y/n—”

you cover aeri’s mouth, knowing how jimin gets, “it’s none of your business.”

your roommate makes a noise of indignation and licks a long strip across your palm. you groan, taking it off her mouth and wiping it on her jacket.

“that’s so gross,” you mutter in english.

“your english has gotten better,” jimin notes as the three of you walk to her car.

you don’t know what to say, so you stay silent.

“where do you stay, jimin-ssi?” aeri makes small talk to cover up the awkward silence. you thank her internally.

jimin stares at you through the mirror, “with y/n.”

you bite your lip, nervous at what jimin might say next. you had never told aeri about your complicated relationship with jimin and you didn’t plan to. only because of kim minjeong meddling in, now it seems like everything has to be uncovered again.

“she’s a bad roommate, right?” surprisingly, aeri ignores jimin’s statement and instead continues to complain about you.

you’re shocked, to say the least. you thought aeri would have started blabbing and asking probing questions about your past roommate situation. or maybe she noticed your sullen look.

“i thought four years would have been enough for her to change her bad habits,” jimin says.

you know for a fact she isn’t talking about the same thing as aeri. jimin was even worse than you as a roommate; eating your secret snack stash, never cleaning up the pile of laundry she had in her room and always invading your alone time in bed.

“many things have changed,” you mumble, “i’m not the same as before.”

the car goes silent, jimin probably analysing your words while aeri pouts, confused by the strange tension you had with your so-called friend.

“if you desire something enough, you’d want it to stay the same forever.”

you retort, “change is inevitable.”

aeri says quietly in the corner, “i know the guy who said that, his name is like john, or something.”

struggling to keep your laughter silent, you splutter in aghast at aeri’s sudden general knowledge.

“you’re so strange,” you comment.

aeri laughs, “i know, but you like me for that, right?”

(“—only had a brain the size of a walnut, that’s why the stegosaurus was one of the dumbest dinosaurs!” jimin reads out loud from your bed.

you stand at your vanity, finishing up your skincare, trying not to laugh at jimin’s absurd dinosaur facts, “you’re so weird.”

“you like that about me though?”)

you sense how intimate the conversation feels for the both of you, so you stop answering aeri and instead focus on jimin. her grip on the steering wheel has tightened significantly, eyes burning with something you can’t identify.

“you’re being annoying again, go to sleep or something, it’s a long drive from here to my house—” you halt in the middle of your sentence, finally questioning the very fact of… why?

why is yu jimin here? even if minjeong asked her to, why? the jimin you knew would never do this. the jimin you knew would never give up her sleeping time just to fetch an old friend, who she maybe had something going on with, and a stranger? yizhuo had friends from china who were visiting, and even then, jimin refused to fetch them from the airport. she was the only one in your friend group with a licence so it only made sense to ask her.

you try to bury yourself in the sweater even more. it was fine for now. seeing jimin in the flesh. but maybe you were so jet lagged that you hadn’t made sense of the situation yet.

the only sensible thing to do for now, was to let yourself escape into dreamland and wait for the morning after.

you can only anticipate it would be full of awkward silence, tension-filled gazes, hesitant actions.

it’s difficult to fall asleep. you decide to blame your insomnia on the nap you had during the flight. even when you know it’s because of the deeply asleep body, separated by a thin wall.

you’re sitting upright, staring at the unveiled moon. it’s stunning, not like the sun which literally glares. the moon is calming, easing you into the next day, all while making you feel… loneliness.

how could you feel lonely even with so many people around you?

(“do you think soulmates exist?” you had asked, curious of jimin’s take on such tales.

the girl seems taken aback, but she ultimately replies, “if they do, i think you’re mine.”)

you clench the duvet in your fists tightly, mind grasping at any other thought than of yu jimin. it’s unfortunate that you seem to enjoy the pain and torture past memories bring with how often your brain wanders through them.

maybe it’s time to come clean with yourself.

you were back in your hometown. you were staying in the same apartment as you did before you left. one that you shared with yu jimin; one that you called home.

eyes starting to become watery, you wipe them off and take a seat at your desk. if you were going to stay awake the rest of the night, might as well get work done. pulling out your sketchbook, the first page to be opened is the drawing of jimin from the flight. the realisation slaps you.

how long would it take someone to get over the love of their life?

for you, maybe eternity.

the door creaks open slightly. your head turns sharply, hand instinctively covering the drawing.

“y/n…?”

“jimin,” you inhale, “why are you still awake?”

she doesn’t bother to answer you and instead chooses to sit on your bed. once you notice the pyjamas she’s wearing, you feel daggers stab into your heart. it’s one of your many matching pyjamas with her. you hadn’t touched any of them since you left korea.

“are you dating aeri?” she asks.

you know what she’s secretly trying to ask.

“no, she’s just a friend.”

“that’s what they always say,” jimin scoffs. her tone doesn’t sit right with you.

with a sudden urge to defend your friendship with aeri, you shoot back, “i recall you saying that about lee jeno too.”

your words clearly strike a chord in jimin, her eyes widen, hurtful remarks at the tip of her tongue. yet, she merely looks away. you hate how beautiful she looks in the moonlight.

“y’know, technically we’re still dating.”

“what are you talking about?” you ask, bewildered.

jimin rolls her eyes, “we never explicitly broke up, you only ghosted me. technically we’re still together.”

“stop spouting nonsense.”

the girl only pouts in annoyance. you hate how your heartstrings tug at her cute expression. right now, yu jimin had to be anything but cute.

“and i didn’t ghost you, i was busy.” the lie slips out easily, revealing how used you are to saying it. jimin, of course, doesn’t believe you. she had never.

jimin frowns.

“you always say that too.”

she stands up, walking bit by bit closer to you. your hand grips the sketchbook protectively.

placing a hand onto the back of your chair, jimin smirks, leaning in. you hate how attractive she looks.

her now blonde locks form a curtain around your faces, preventing any outsider to peek in and see what you were doing.

“i think you’re a bad friend,” jimin claims.

“what?”

you can’t take your eyes off her fluttering eyelashes, her red nose, probably from the cold, and her eyes filled with determination.

“you lied to aeri,” she whispers, “since when were we ever just friends?”

a lump forms in your throat. your heart constricts. you can barely even say a word. you’re speechless.

“we’re barely even friends, roommates, probably,” you splutter out.

“yeah?”

“yeah.” jimin eyes you with an amused expression, lips twitching with the threat of a big, wide smile. you realise your words bid you no help, only further supplying as a challenge for jimin— for you to admit that you were more than friends. no words needed to be exchanged about that fact, but you being you, after fulfilling years of ghosting, would never admit that you harboured any sort of feelings for jimin after being the main reason why your relationship fell apart.

you would argue that your absence was just a contributing factor. the real trigger came in the form of lee jeno, a man that you could say with your whole heart and soul, you hated with every bone in your body.

after you had left, with a promise to stay in contact with jimin, you realised how hard it was to maintain your relationship status. and when jimin posted countless instagram stories of jeno, you realised again that maybe it was best to break it off.

never in the duration of your ‘ghosting stage’ had you ever told jimin the real reason for your sudden coldness. madly jealous and insecure, you decided to disappear. disappear just from jimin though.

“i’ve always been curious,” jimin pulls back from your intense gaze, “why you started being so distant, cold and indifferent. tell me, will you?”

“that’s just my personality.” a direct white lie, you decide to tell.

“i was heartbroken,” she ignores you and continues her monolouge, “my girlfriend decides to ghost me, and just me. made me think i did something wrong.”

you lick your lips, suddenly feeling your throat constrict up. no longer was this just banter, the conversation was steering into uncharted territory.

“it wasn’t just you,” you desperately argue, trying to direct the conversation away, “moving to another country isn’t easy.”

“you’re pretending our whole relationship didn’t exist. maybe in your eyes it meant nothing, but for me, it was everything. don’t you know every single day i have nightmares? the craziest thing is that all the demons in my nightmares have your smile,” jimin whispers fiercely, “and yet, i stay faithful to those nightmares, even if i wake up crying for someone who didn’t even bother answering my calls. you may have only been in the states, but it felt like you were on another planet. i was the last person to know you were coming back, even though you promised me; promised that if you were to return, i would be the first person to—”

you can’t control yourself. hearing her words makes your blood boil. the pumping of your heart only accelerates further as you lift up your hand, delivering a heavy slap across her face. how dare she? how dare she act as if everything was your fault? how could she accuse your devotion and adoration for her?

“don’t act like you’re the fucking victim, karina,” you hiss, your words even more painful than the stinging red on jimin’s cheek, “the first morning after, i sent you so many texts, barely even seen. then i see your story. were you acting when you said you were sad about me leaving? or were you happy to finally say that you don’t have a girlfriend anymore?”

jimin cradles her cheek in her hand, eyes narrowing when you finally confess the real reason. you can tell she doesn’t remember anything. her not even knowing what she did that made you feel unneeded only drives the blade deeper into your heart.

“drinking at a club with lee jeno,” you say his name with venom, voice gradually getting louder and louder. remembering that aeri’s only a few walls away, you try to control your emotions. “could you not understand how i felt— you said nothing would come between us and the first week away from home, constantly ignoring me for some guy.”

(“call me when your plane lands,” jimin said, playing with the hem of her sweater on you.

“isn’t it gonna be midnight in korea when i land?”

the girl merely chuckles, “i’ll be up all night just to hear your voice.”)

the realisation strikes you like a lightning bolt.

“this was a mistake.”

“what?”

“this… me coming back. i should have just stayed in the states but fuck, i let aeri convince me,” you run your fingers through your tousled hair, stressed. jimin was going to cause you to have white hair.

the redness on jimin’s cheek is still there. you feel slightly guilty for ruining her clear complexion.

“that was just how i coped with you leaving,” jimin explains.

you purse your lips, placing your open palms on jimin’s chest. maybe she thinks you’re about to cave in since she sighs in relief. however, instead of pulling her in, you push her until her back is touching your door.

“i don’t need an explanation, or an apology,” you say firmly, “i need time alone away from you.”

“you’ve had 4 years to yourself,” jimin states bitterly.

“i’m sorry for slapping you, but please, either show me your actions matching your words, or just get out of my life for good.”

jimin sighs again, this one full of exasperation.

“go,” you mutter under your breath.

the knife drives deep into your already ruined heart as you push her away. the girl scoffs, grasping your open palms into her hands, intertwining your fingers.

“if you insist on pushing me away, i’ll get rid of any possibility of us being together again. just let me into your heart again,” she throws your hands away and slams the door. the loud bang echoes in your ears, but not as loudly as her words. it only takes a few seconds for you to collapse onto the floor, sobs wrecking your whole body.

“morning,” aeri yawns, “i heard a loud bang last night, was that you or is your apartment haunted?”

you drizzle maple syrup onto your stacked pancakes, sending a bittersweet smile to your friend. your night was spent tossing and turning, both guilt and anger consuming you. when the clock ticked at four in the morning, you finally let yourself think about how jimin made you feel. even if she went to drink right after you left, you should have communicated with her instead of ghosting her. you knew for a fact that she was heartbroken based on the numerous texts your friends had sent you.

fuck, you groan into your pillow. getting up from your bed, your eyes roam the room, eventually landing on the sketchbook at your desk. you never finished that drawing on the plane. after considering (or more likely procrastination), you sit down, pouring your hours and feelings into your drawings. countless of them filled up the sketchbook’s pages. the drawings’ subjects all looked eerily similar to jimin. her pointed nose, soft gaze were all captured in the pages. you finally come to terms with it. you were still in love with her. after all, she was your only muse. thinking about her words from before, you knew that she meant them. spending years waiting for someone who was basically a ghost couldn’t have been easy.

you were going to do something about it.

barely getting any sleep last night, you woke up earlier than usual and decided to prepare breakfast. aeri had woken up an hour after, stomach growling and eyes gleaming at the pancakes.

“by the way,” she says, mouth full of pancake, “i’m meeting up with a friend today and she’s bringing someone too. wanna go with me on a double date?”

fate must be messing with you since right as aeri says the words ‘double date’, yu jimin walks in. her hair tousled, puffed cheeks and eyes narrowing. you stiffen, focusing on picking at your pancakes instead. unbeknownst to you, once jimin spots the lone plate of breakfast on the counter, her gaze softens.

“do you know who your friend’s bringing…?” you whisper softly, trying not to catch the attention of jimin.

aeri, although you love her, says in the loudest voice possible, “somi will be your date! i think she’s your type.”

the scraping of the metal fork makes you squeeze your eyes shut, mentally preparing for jimin’s outburst.

“so-mi,” jimin clicks her tongue.

aeri nods, stuffing her face with more food.

she turns to you, “and you’re going on a date with her?”

“double date with me,” aeri clarifies, “don’t worry jimin-ssi, i’ll be there to protect y/n! y’know in college i always had to pick y/n up from her bad dates. her taste in guys suck.”

“seems like her taste in girls has been downgraded,” jimin comments, smirking. you roll your eyes, wanting nothing more than for her to shut up. aeri guffaws, taking out her phone. “i’ll show you somi’s instagram account and you can decide for yourself, y/n,” she says.

you nod, deciding not to say anything in case jimin flares up. somi’s very pretty, anyone would agree. she had her own attractive style and seemed really confident. you liked that. aeri wasn’t wrong to say that somi was your type. it was just unfortunate that your heart was in the hands of another girl.

while scrolling on aeri’s phone, her alarm rings, reading, ‘brunch with yunny.’

“ah! yunjin wanted to meet earlier, just the two of us,” aeri smiles, “text me later if you wanna join!” she stands up from the table. you’re astonished by how fast she managed to finish those pancakes, her stack was evidently taller than yours. jimin glances at you, amazed as well.

“did she inhale those…?”

“i’ve got no fucking clue,” you mumble, digging into your own. jimin only chuckles and you hate how it makes your heart clench up in affection.

the silence is deafening. without aeri, the air thickens with tension between you and jimin, filled with nostalgia and regret. it feels just like last time— you and jimin eating breakfast together at that very same table, giggling about whatever trouble your friends got into the previous day.

“hey, about yesterday—”

“it’s fine,” you interrupt, “is your cheek okay?”

jimin swallows hard, “yes, it doesn’t hurt at all.”

“don’t lie, come here,” you instruct, “i’ve known you for so long, you can’t lie to me.”

she just laughs, showing you the slightly bruised side of her face. you feel guilt wreck you. no matter how angry you were, you shouldn’t have laid a hand on her.

“did you ice it?”

jimin shakes her head. you sigh, getting up and taking an ice pack out of the freezer. it’s too easy for you to return to past habits, moving around the kitchen like it was 2018 and jimin was the love of your life (she still is). wrapping the ice pack in a towel, you inch closer to jimin, holding it to her cheek. she winces slightly and you resist the urge to hold her hand in comfort.

“y/n…”

“hm?”

the girl seems so small now— her posture deflated, eyes barely meeting yours, biting her lip nervously. you have a feeling you know what she’s about to ask.

“are you going on that date with soyoung?” you laugh loudly, catching jimin off guard.

“jimin, her name’s somi.”

pouting, jimin turns away from you, making your hand falter. “hey, i need to ice your face.”

“i won’t let you unless you answer my question.” she’s so childish it’s adorable. the tension has gone, now filled with uncertainty instead.

“i don’t have anyone to spend the afternoon with. minjeong and yizhuo are busy today,” you explain.

“you have me,” she mutters.

ignoring her, you answer, “aeri seemed really excited for us to meet.”

“you spent all your time in the states with her, you should spend time with your friends here,” jimin retorts.

her hesitance to even admit she wants to spend time with you makes you want to tease her.

“oh? you’re right,” jimin perks up like a puppy. cute, you think. “i should text yujin if she wants to go out, remember her? she was our student council president.”

rolling her eyes, jimin swats at your hand nursing her bruise. it’s too easy for you to return to past habits, bantering with jimin like she was the only girl you’ve ever loved (she was).

it’s too easy. between the choice of going out with aeri to meet someone new and staying in with jimin. it’s such an easy choice to make.

you bring the ice pack away from her face, choosing to caress her cheek lovingly instead. she sighs, content, leaning into your touch.

“jimin,” you gulp, “i’m sorry for these past few years.”

her eyes gaze up at you, “it’s okay. i’ve come to terms with it. i honestly wasn’t expecting you to come back.”

“i wasn’t planning to either, but aeri wanted to.”

“good thing she convinced you, huh?” jimin smiles, “at least i know i was the reason for our break up.”

“it’s only a relationship if there are two people,” you say, “it was my fault too.”

her eyes momentarily flicker to your lips, it doesn’t go unnoticed by you.

“i know these years haven’t been easy on both of us, but if you’re willing to, i think i’m okay with giving us a second chance,” you confess, “even if you hurt me again, i still want you. i just want you. you’ve always been the only one in here.” you point at your heart.

jimin’s eyes shoot straight up, finally breaking into a wide smile, “seriously? even after what i said last night? i’m not complaining but like… you were pretty angry. i just wanted to know why you ghosted me and i agree, i deserved it. but why the sudden change?”

“i mean,” you shrug, “it was what you said that made me think about this. i didn’t want you to stop loving me, because i’ve never stopped loving you.”

“you love me?”

“i love you.”

“this is so crazy, you went from slapping me to…” she trails off, grasping your chin and bringing you into a kiss. her lips were so, so, soft. you wondered why you even let her go. once your lips met, you felt her sigh before smiling into your mouth. catching your breath, you run your fingers through her blonde hair.

“still going on that date with suki?”

“jimin, you know her name’s somi.”

“whatever, i love you too.”

#aespa #aespa x reader #karina x reader #yu jimin x reader #jimin x reader

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sehnsuchts-trunken · 14 days

Note

dbf!jake x innocent!reader (maybe who's still a virgin) and finding out he has a corruption kink i can't ...

i let this sit in my inbox untouched for so long because i couldn't decide whether or not i'm into it - but currently i'm experiencing something of a writer's block, soooo. i've decided to give it a try lmao

tw: dbf!jake has a corruption kink, reader is VERY innocent, it's not explicitly stated she's a virgin but it's very much implied, dom!jake, this is less smut and more talk actually but anyway, mentions of oral sex, also good girl

top gun masterlist | top gun blurbs

You pull back from Jake with wide eyes, panting - embarrassingly so - and clutching at his shirt, angling yourself away. He's turned on, you can feel it, can feel him, pressing into you, pressing against his jeans. And you're wet, you're soaked, you can feel that, too.

It hadn't even been supposed to go this far. It had been a kiss, just one, all sweet and intimate while you'd watched tv. And then there had been a second one. And a third. And somehow, you'd ended up in his lap, pulling at his hair and whining into his mouth. But the moment you rock against him and feel his bulge... You have to pull back.

"There's no rush, darling", he mutters, trailing his fingertips down your cheek and tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. "I won't do anything you don't-"

"What if I do?", you breathe, clenching your hands into his shirt to keep them from trembling. You don't even know just why they're trembling - maybe because you're so nervous, or maybe because you're so turned on.

"You do?", Jake asks with raised eyebrows. "Are you sure?"

You bite down on your lip and nod.

"Are you really sure?", he asks again. "Because if you're not-"

"Fuck me, Jake", you breathe, your cheeks heating up, your breath quickening. God, had you really just said that? Had you- Holy shit, you'd really just said that. You'd never said anything like that. Never. You'd barely even come close to thinking it.

Jake's eyes widen. Then his hands tighten around your waist, so hard that you gasp out a breath.

"What did you say?", he mutters, dragging his fingers down to your hips. You chew on your lip and stare at the air next to his head. Anywhere else but at him. Anywhere else but at his eyes. There's no way you can repeat yourself. No fucking way. You can hardly believe you said it in the first place.

"I asked you a question, darling", Jake repeats, and even though you try your best not to look at him, not to see that grin tugging at his lips, you can hear it in his voice. "What did you say?"

"I-", you start, stop, and then take a deep breath. No, there's no way. Absolutely no way.

"Come on, speak up", he urges, his hands trailing lower and lower until his fingers circle against the bare skin of your thigh. His thumbs draw below the hem of your dress, then away again. "I know you can."

You dig your teeth into your lip and let your eyes flutter shut, trying to forget absolutely everything at all - the way his fingers feel, how hard he is, how wet you are - to ignore that this is really and truly happening. Pretending it's your imagination makes it a tad easier. A lot easier, if you're completely honest.

"Fuck me, Jake", you whisper, your breath catching.

His fingertips trail up, up, up your thighs-

"And now look at me", he says, his voice so low he's basically growling, not an ask, not even close, but a command, an order. If this is how he sounds at work, barking instructions left and right... "Look at me while you're asking me to fuck you."

"Jake-", you whimper, squeezing your eyes shut even harder. You can feel yourself growing wetter by the second. Fuck, his tone is sinful. And the way he's ordering you- But you just can't, you can't do it.

"Look at me", he repeats as he hooks his thumbs into your panties and tears another little gasp from your lips. Goddamn, you're so sweet. And there's something about your embarrassment, something about how you're unknowingly, unwillingly rocking your hips into his, something about how hard you're trying to not show your desperation, something about how at the very same time, you've already asked him to fuck you twice now.

You need him. It's obvious. And it's so fucking cute, it's adorable, how you both want and don't want to act on it. You're so unsure. And still-

Still, even despite all of your nervousness, you blink open your eyes and look at him, parted lips and flushed cheeks and all, your hands fisting his shirt. Because he's given you an order. And you follow his orders.

"Fuck me", you whisper, so quietly that he can just pick up on it.

His grin widens.

"Good girl", he rasps.

A moan tears from your tongue. Good girl. Holy shit. You'd only ever imagined hearing that, you'd never thought you'd actually get to. Which is why you never could have prepared for how hard it hits you - your legs clamping around his thighs, your eyes fluttering shut again, your hips bucking against his. Fuck.

Jake grunts as you rock so openly against him, his thumbs circling the bare skin below your panties, staggering into the inappropriate. It'd take him less than a moment to find out that you'd shaved this morning.

"Fuck me", you repeat, a little more confident now, and something about it steals his breath. "Please, Jake."

It takes eating you out and teaching you how to suck him off for him to understand just what about you affects him so much. He admits it in between desperate kisses a minute later - you deserve to know, to decide for yourself whether or not you've got a problem with it. You don't, of course, and he finds out a second later as you rock back against his hard-on and whine into his mouth. No, you certainly don't have a problem with it in the slightest.

#x reader #jake seresin x reader #dbf!jake seresin x reader #top gun #top gun x reader #jake hangman seresin #jake hangman seresin x reader #top gun hangman #dbf!jake seresin #jake seresin smut

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libraryofgage · 6 months

Text

Mermaid/Pirate Steddie Four

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Hi hi! It's been kind of a long week for me lmao but here's the next part! You'll def wanna stick around to the very end of the post; there's a very fun surprise for y'all lol

Also! If you like my writing or want to see a quicker update of this or another series, I've opened commissions (student loans are hitting a lot harder than I expected orz). If you're interested, you can find more information in this post

Even if you don't commission me, I appreciate your likes/comments/reblogs of my work! They keep me going and make me really happy ^_^

Anyway, now for the good stuff. As always, if you see any typos, no you didn't ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

----

Sinking a ship takes skill, intense planning, and strong tails. Or, if you're Robin and seven guppies, it takes incredible, unbridled rage and a worry that could kill a Kraken. A ship that should take half the day to sink only takes the group two hours, their tails bashing against the hull and claws ripping planks to let seawater surge inside. Dustin is particularly brutal, recruiting Lucas and Mike to help him use the same net that caught him and took Steve to drag the ship beneath the waves.

Between tending to Dustin's wounds, lying to the pod about why they're going to be away for a while, and actually tracking the damned thing, it took Robin and the guppies a few days to catch up to the ship. And as they scavenge the drowned wreckage, pushing past broken doors and through holes in the hull, it becomes increasingly clear that they're too late.

"Where could he be?!" Dustin shouts, his gills flaring and bubbles rising in an enraged pattern above him. He takes a spear and jabs it into a water-bloated plank. "If he's not here, that means he escaped, right? So why hasn't he found us yet?"

"Steve could have been taken by another ship," El points out, her head poking from behind a mast. She's gained a dagger with a jewel-encrusted hilt and is currently using her nails to dig the jewels out and drop them into a seaweed bag.

Robin frowns, swimmingly anxiously in circles. She's not the one that's good with guppies. That's Steve. If she's the fun caretaker that encourages them to play Scuttlefish with sharks, Steve is the one a tail's-length behind dragging them back to the pod before they can get hurt. He's the one who knows how to keep the guppies calm and healthy. Robin is the one who keeps them energetic and chaotic.

"He was definitely here," Will says, swimming out from a cabin on the ship. He stops in front of Robin and holds his hands out, letting her see the dull, blood-stained scales sitting in his palms.

With a shaking hand, Robin takes the scales and turns them over, hoping they're somehow not Steve's. But he's her partner. Robin could recognize him by the flick of his tail alone. So, of course, she knows they're Steve's scales at a glance.

She turns, her tail creating a small current that brushes over the guppies and forces them to look at her. "If he's not on this one," she says, "then we'll just keep sinking ships until we find him."

"Let's start with the other ship," Erica says.

"The other ship?" Robin asks.

Erica nods, pointing in the direction they'd just come from. "A few leagues before we found this one, I saw another one that was sailing in the other direction. Maybe they crossed paths."

For a brief moment, Robin wonders how she missed the other ship. But then she remembers how she's been caught between her own worries and keeping the guppies from spiraling, and she gives herself a break. "Yeah," she says, nodding as she closes her fingers over the scales. The edges cut into her palms but don't draw blood. "Let's go track down that ship. But don't keep something like that from me next time."

The guppies all nod in agreement, and Robin looks at the wreckage around them. She's half-tempted to let the guppies loot the rest of the ship, but she knows they're all aching to find Steve already. So, Robin herds them away from the sunken ship in the direction Erica pointed and hopes Steve can hold on for just a little longer.

----

Excerpt from "The Lovelorn Fool's Guide to Merfolk Courtship"

Song Types

There are several song types that merfolk are likely to use in their lifetime. While the human ear cannot distinguish the intricacies of the songs, it can tell the major categories apart.

As newly-born guppies, they know only how to vocalize wordless sounds based on their needs. These sounds are referred to as Guppy Songs. These songs are generally lacking in any real melody or rhythm. They are rough and unskilled, but many caretakers consider them precious.

Pod songs are shared tunes and melodies among the pod to communicate big news. When hearing a pod song from a lone merperson, it will sound incomplete. Pod songs usually require at least one other merperson to support or respond to the initial measures, which creates a complete and satisfying loop.

Individual songs are varied and unique, as the name suggests. They cover a range of emotions that simply can't be communicated through regular speech or bubble patterns (to learn more about bubble patterns, please see Part I: The Basics). Among these songs, the most important to know is the courting song, which can actually be multiple songs using the same opening measures and melodies with slightly different tones.

Now that you know the most basic kind of songs, we can move to harmonizing. Truthfully, a human's ability to harmonize with a merperson is nearly impossible. However, it can be done with an instrument, which can reach ranges the human voice cannot. So, if you don't know how to play one, I'd suggest learning. Harmonizing is a key step in the courtship process, after all.

----

Steve shrieks as Eddie spins him around, the sound high and grating, and clings tighter to Eddie's neck. His tailfin slaps Eddie behind his knee, hard enough to make him falter and slip on the rain-soaked deck. He falls on his ass, Steve safely in his lap, and laughs. The charms in his hair knock against each other, and Steve idly reaches up to brush his finger against one. "What was that for?" Eddie asks, the words slightly breathless.

"You surprised me," Steve says, frowning slightly as raindrops catch in his eyelashes and make them heavy. He holds a hand above his eyes and then does the same for Eddie.

"You just looked so pretty, sweetheart," Eddie says, grinning at Steve like he knows what bubble pattern his fluttering gills would create (flustered and flattered).

He rolls his eyes, looking at the sky and sea in the distance. The ocean is surging, and waves and sea foam collide as the wind picks up force. Dark clouds hang over the sea, and Steve would be concerned if he didn't know the storm would clear up soon. He can tell from the sound of the ocean and the taste in the air: the water isn't angry enough and there isn't enough salt on his lips.

The rain is still going to turn brutal, though, and Steve would prefer they weren't on deck when it happens. He overheard Asher and Jeff talking about the last time Eddie got soaked to the bone and got sick. He's not sure what a "cold" is, but he doesn't want Eddie catching it again.

"Let's go back to the cabin," he says, looking back at Eddie with a light smile. "I want to hear you play that, uh, gee-tare."

"Guitar, Stevie," Eddie corrects, holding Steve tight as he stands. He has an excited smile, something expectant in his eyes that Steve still hasn't figured out.

Steve hums, knowing very well how it's pronounced, but he likes to see the somewhat dopey smile Eddie gets whenever he mispronounces something. He gets the feeling Eddie also knows he's doing it on purpose, but he's not said anything yet.

Eddie carries him down to the captain's cabin, kicking the door shut with his foot. "Where do you want to be, sweetheart?" he asks.

After a moment's consideration, Steve gestures to the bed, looking forward to the soft pillows and even softer sheets. When Eddie places him down, he wiggles until his tail is curled comfortably, soaking the sheets beneath him, and looks at Eddie expectantly.

"Any requests?" Eddie asks, clearly amused as he grabs his guitar and hops onto the bed next to Steve. His knee brushes against Steve's tail, drawing Steve's attention briefly to the faint scar that lingers across his scales.

He's been healed for almost a day now, and Steve should probably start bracing himself to say goodbye, but he'd like to remain in denial a little longer. He doesn't want to leave. Even if he knows he'll come right back with Robin and the guppies, Steve doesn't want to be away from Eddie that long. They haven't even confirmed their courtship. Leaving before they do means any merperson with half a brain could see how much of a pearl Eddie is and try to steal him away.

Steve forces the thought away, forces himself to focus on answering Eddie's question, and shakes his head. "Just play something," he says.

Eddie nods and thinks a moment as he tunes the guitar. "Could you hum something?" he asks.

When he looks up at Steve again, there's something oddly intense in his gaze. He looks determined, as though something very important is riding on this moment. Steve isn't sure what it is, exactly, but he knows he doesn't want it to pass him by. Steve nods and starts humming a soft and familiar tune, one he's used a lot more after meeting Eddie.

It must be the right choice, because Eddie practically lights up, a grin tugging at his lips and crinkling the corners of his eyes as he listens. After a few seconds, he starts plucking strings on the guitar, adding a gentle accompaniment that makes Steve's humming rock back and forth like the ocean currents.

Usually, Eddie plays fast, his music filling Steve with the same heat and energy as an underwater volcano in the middle of an eruption. But this is slow and sweet like the honey Steve tried a few days ago. It creeps through him, his gills fluttering with each note that Eddie pulls from his guitar. He feels soft and happy, his voice shifting to follow Eddie's lead as inspiration hits him.

They trade the lead back and forth between them, and Steve starts to actually sing at some point. He doesn't know when he opened his mouth and started to vocalize the notes instead of just humming them, a sweet melody forming as his voice resonates with the guitar. It just happens as naturally as swimming. Steve can no longer tell where his voice ends and the guitar begins. They've fallen into sync, strumming and singing together without missing a beat.

Steve leans closer, his heart pounding against his ribs even faster than usual. They're harmonizing. He realizes it suddenly, but it doesn't catch him off-guard. It's just a whisper in the back of his mind, a little nudge that makes him smile and move without thinking beyond the desire to be closer.

The song doesn't end naturally. In fact, Eddie is in the middle of a particularly lovely string of notes when Steve kisses him, still humming low in his throat. Eddie's fingers fumble, a sour note pulling from the guitar, but Steve doesn't care. He's too busy wrapping one hand around the back of Eddie's neck and placing the other on Eddie's chest.

He can feel Eddie's heart beating just as rapidly as his own, and Steve presses closer. He's barely balancing on his tail as Eddie moves the guitar from his lap, pushing it to the side of the bed while he kisses Steve back. Eddie pushes his hand into Steve's hair, tangling his fingers in the strands.

Steve's humming happily rises in pitch, and he finally loses his balance, his weight pressing entirely on Eddie and causing him to fall back on the bed. The kiss breaks when Eddie bounces slightly, their foreheads knocking together, and Steve can't help laughing.

"You're fucking gorgeous, sweetheart," Eddie whispers, his free hand trailing to Steve's waist and settling on his back. His fingers brush against the line where scales meet skin, and Steve shudders, his mouth going dry, and he kisses Eddie again before he can say another word.

----

Tag List (the tag list is full! I wasn't able to fit everyone, so if you aren't on here, I'd suggest following #high seas steddie. I think you should still get updates on your dash if you do)

@mugloversonly, @raisedbylibrarians, @thegirlwiththelibrarybag, @savory-babby, @vankaar, @beckkthewreck, @itcanbepalped, @imfinereallyy, @finntheehumaneater, @mightbeasleep, @weekend-dreamer7

@whenindoubtb72, @troublemaker2azz, @just-a-tiny-void, @upallnightogetloki, @mxmakessense, @ellietheasexylibrarian, @haelreadsshit, @y4r3luv, @starman-jpg, @littlewildflowerkitten, @estrellami-1, @stevieschrodinger, @gaelicblue, @they-reap-what-we-sow

@5ammi90, @noodle-shenaniganery, @acrolius, @hallelujahimatheist, @rainbow-freckle, @desidrarry-wolfstarshipper, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @79chevyimpala, @aliea82, @hopefulcookieoperatorpersona, @sani-86, @queenie-ofthe-void, @goosesister, @hello-fellow-nerds, @luthienstormblessed, @xtkxkrzrizir, @potato-of-the-lord, @geekymagicalpotato, @child-of-cthulhu, @aizawa-emma, @m-owo-n, @newtstabber, @cartercaptainofthemoon, @spectrum-spectre, @a-little-unsteddie

And, if you've made it this far, here's a little meme for your entertainment

#steddie #steddie fic #high seas steddie #merman steve harrington #pirate eddie munson #robin buckley #the party #stranger things #stranger things fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #my writing

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onyourhyuck · 11 months

Text

Do I Wanna Know? | J.JH

— Prologue: “Maybe i’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody new.”

— Summary: You and Jaehyun both agreed that there will be no feelings involved. But Jung Jaehyun ended up falling for you, and now you’re being distant with him.

— Genre: Friends with benefits > To lovers. Slightly angsty. Artstudent!jaehyun x politicstuddnt!y/n. Romance. Jaehyun is this indie artist student, Y/n is giving Rory from Gilmore.

— Notes: Do I Wanna Know - Artic Monkeys.

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You and Jaehyun both agreed that there will be no feelings involved, this carried on for eight months. You would fool around sometimes before class, sometimes you’re fooling around with him drunk. The whole point of this arrangement was to make sure you both get laid. As an University student you can’t exactly get a relationship and make sure you can be in that relationship while being a future lawyer. You see it’s quite difficult to even begin a forming attachment. Which is why one day in January, you met Jung Jaehyun.

Jung Jaehyun isn’t your typical pretty face. Sure, he’s got the looks and the body. He is devilishly handsome. People often gossip about his rich family in England. The only thing people saw in him were his appearance, his money and his family. Nothing else but you were different to him.

You actually ended up getting to know Jaehyun. Your classes were the opposite but you’ve met on a night out through a mutual friend and ever since then you have been talking whenever you saw each other on campuses. Somehow you’ve never ran into him before but now meeting him on that night out, you keep seeing him everywhere.

You are the opposite to each other. He prefers apple juice and you prefer the classical OJ juice straight out the fridge cold and iced. It somehow amazes you how well you click despite being so different. He hates politics and you love them, he could hear you talk about politics and somehow it makes him interested. But if he heard it on the news or whatever from someone else he’d want to blow his brains out and make sure to never live the day again.

People only saw Jaehyun from what they know on the outside but the outside never amazed you. When you saw how sensitive and precious Jaehyun was you couldn’t help but think he’s pretty cute. Whenever he draws he used his emotions to draw. You can tell he’s very intact with them, you somehow become envious of how much emotion he can create and draw on a blank piece of canvas in a hour.

You can barely put out an emotion just by thinking about it but you suppose it’s because in Politics you’re not meant to lead with emotion you’re meant to be using logic. Which is why your emotions department is looking a bit bleak. Nonetheless Jaehyun’s art had a way of moving your heart.

He admires the way you lead people by protesting outside of the campus. You told him you like protesting for problems that haven’t been spoken out publicly because many corrupted politicians like to gain something out of the work. He would come and see you do your speeches. He would be cheering you. Jaehyun even let you borrow is laptop so you could finish your assessment when yours ran out in middle of your lecture class, so you left to grab a charger from your dorm only to not have it there.

He remembers the day you came inside his art class crying because you were freaking out so much over this assignment and you hated how your laptop shut down suddenly. He literally dragged you to his dormitory just to get you his laptop. You will forever remember how much he cared for you passing your assignments. Even though he was busy needing to finish his portrait exam. He still chose to help you.

The more you two were entangled in each others lives the harder it was to pull away and eventually one day, you both mutually ended up in each others beds. Multiple times for over eight months you were both together agreeing that no sort of feelings will be involved and that this was just for the sake of your hard working subjects.

But the more Jaehyun had a taste of you he couldn’t stop thinking about taking another taste of you, and then his dreams are all about you. He wasn’t sure what you were feeling. In fact he didn’t wanna know what you were feeling because you seemed so in the moment but by the next day you were acting like you weren’t kissing him so passionately like you were in love. Maybe he read into it wrong.

Maybe he was wrong that he could do a friends with benefits with you because he can’t. He failed the first rule which is, don’t fall for you.

You knew something was off about Jaehyun the minute he was kissing you differently one night. You knew something was definitely not right when he moaned your name so softly, as if he were treating you like you were his girlfriend, his lover, with an intention to make love to you. Not to fuck you, but make love to you. You couldn’t handle it and somehow when you questioned it, Jaehyun couldn’t look you in he eyes straight.

You just knew from that moment of silence from your friend that he was no longer just a friend, he was someone who was wanting more.

And you couldn’t handle it. You broke it off that night and since then you and Jaehyun haven’t been as communicative as you were before. You don’t come over to each other’s classes anymore. Your mutual friends don’t see you guys speaking anymore. Your families don’t hear you speak about you and Jaehyun anymore they could only wonder what’s been happening behind the scenes. You and Jaehyun, have stopped being together.

But somehow you still saw each other whenever you guys went. It was like a trick in the matrix to you. You thought if you pull away you’d be free from Jung Jaehyun. But the more you walk away the further he walks forward and somehow you guys meet paths so many times again and again.

You saw him at the bowling centre when you went with a guy friend, Doyoung, from your politics major class.

You saw Jaehyun with your other mutual friend you both share at the bowling centre, with Johnny Suh, and you were both blown away.

What are the chances? None of you had a way of knowing where the other one is so how come you keep on running into each other.

Then your mutual friend Johnny decided it’s a great idea to merge both groups together because apparently, Doyoung and him go back together through high school. Somehow you wanted to disappear from the face of this earth knowing that your friend and Johnny were pretty good senior and junior throughout their high school years which left you and Jaehyun awkwardly confused and wondering what about you two?

It didn’t change the fact that Doyoung and you had a great time together. Smiling and laughing at god knows what. You were speaking to Johnny too, Jaehyun felt jealous with the way Doyoung can casually put his hand around you or tap your shoulder.

It lead him to wondering, ‘Do I Wanna Know if you miss me too?’

‘Do I Wanna if you ever wanna go back to the times when we were together like this too?’

These questions overpopulated his busy mind and you weren’t even aware of it how much he’s been feeling grey and blue without you. He couldn’t draw anything but you and somehow all his professors were worried with the amount of drawings of you were crowding the classroom storage now.

Jaehyun went through so many breaks up which is bizarre to me considering he handled them so well but with you this felt so much worse than a breakup to him and he couldn’t explain it. He couldn’t put a finger on it wondering why and what is making this worse and it’s probably because it’s you. You’re special and he grew attached to you.

When Doyoung and Johnny left you behind to grab popcorn and a few drinks for you guys, it leaves you and Jaehyun sitting next to each other in tense silence wondering when they will come back. It felt like two people waiting for their parents to come and pick them up from school, it felt exactly like that.

You fiddle with your thumbs, pushing away your feelings so you could try and speak to him. “So Johnny wanted to go bowling?” You trail to the boy next to you who had the gloomiest expression ever you couldn’t even imagine what Jaehyun must be feeling.

For you sure, you can handle seeing Jaehyun. But for Jaehyun it felt like two worlds colliding and he doesn’t want them to. It’s making his open wound more wide and open, it’s going to bleed him out if he keeps seeing your beautiful face, hearing your wonderful voice that keeps making his heart all soft and warm. His scars only get more painful when he knows you and him are no longer what you used fo be.

He turns at you somehow his eyes finding the time to look appreciating your eyes finding a wanderlust beauty in them and he couldn’t look away from them. “Mhm, Johnny called me up to go bowling suddenly.” He says biting the bottom lip as he looks away. “And your friend over there? I remember seeing him in your class once.”

“Ah Doyoung? Yeah. He wanted to go bowling suddenly too and we planned to go here.” You nod humming.

You felt your hands become a whole waterfall with the amount of sweat they produce. You and Jaehyun never had an awkward moment before but now it’s just only awkward moments you can’t imagine how hard it must be for the audience watching this, aka your friends, who probably know something is freaking up with you both.

Jaehyun suddenly broke the third wall, letting his emotions carry him throughout his entire existence. “Do you miss me?” ‘Do I Wanna know…’ he trails into his palms thinking hard, if he even wants to know the truth.

You couldn’t lie but the minute he asked you, you were screaming yes instantly. Without a doubt you miss him, of course you do. You were super close and before then you spend the days together for so long. Eight months isn’t a small number of times. You spend a long term time being friends with Jaehyun and halfway through that your bodies were more than friends too.

It’s impossible not to miss Jung Jaehyun. He was a part of you.

“Jaehyun…” You trail stopping yourself. Your heart was beating so fast it’s made you nearly stutter out. Jaehyun faces you seriously and you glance back shortly.

“Of course I miss you. It’s just…” you pause again, holding your teeth to the bridge of your mouth.

“I miss you, a lot Y/n. I cant sleep and eat without you and I don’t know if I’m the only one going crazy here but why can’t you be with me? Has it never crossed your mind?” He softly retorts at you putting all sorts of questions out there he needed answers for, but you yourself didn’t know how to answer them.

What your respond to those were a complete unknown world mystery. You weren’t sure what to do because all you were feeling was blush crawling on your face, you felt your body going into a fighting mode, or maybe those were the butterflies? You weren’t even sure if this was love or if this was your body telling you to run, make a run for it.

“Jaehyun…we are friends. We can’t be anything more than that. You know this from the start.”

Jaehyun knew it from the start but that never stopped him from developing feelings for you nonetheless that rule was the dumbest rule he has ever heard and the more he keeps hearing you talk about it the more his feelings were becoming progressively stronger for worse or for better.

“Why don’t you find someone new Hm?” You smile at him trying to light up the situation.

Every political issue has a problem logically it can be solved by another situation. You thought about this through political eye point of view so if Jaehyun likes you, a way to discard those feelings is if he meets another girl. Yes, exactly that.

You thought you found a loophole but Jaehyun found it incredibly difficult and mean to process. He found it almost impossible and somehow you, the one he loves, being the one to address him a solution to getting over you made his blood boil a little.

“Maybe i’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody new.” He gnaws beneath his breath pushing himself off the seat and suddenly, grabbing his bags.

You look at him with widen eyes. “Hey— where are you going Jaehyun?”

You couldn’t believe it but he looked pretty angry with you right now and you wondered maybe you weren’t going with the good approach. The moment he left the building your two friends come back with the food completely shocked by seeing only you left. Johnny squints his eyes at Jaehyun’s seat helplessly.

“Jaehyun looks a little different here.” He says lightly. “Where’d he go Y/n?”

You look down murmuring. “He left.”

Doyoung chokes on his cola looking over at Jaehyun. You were busy looking down at your hands thinking this through because you must’ve said something mean to truly upset him and you couldn’t help but think maybe you’re the one in the wrong here. Your two friends were whispering in the air to one another, near-yelling whispers.

Doyoung points at Johnny miming all sorts of actions to the older guy. “You said this bowling situation would bring them back to normal.” He clenched his jaw speaking harshly and quietly in front.

Johnny looks back helplessly. He and Doyoung met up together one night planning this day together so that it would look like a little coincidence that they would meet up at this bowling public area. It felt like a genius plan but someone had to make sure it didn’t work.

You grab your head pulling on your hair feeling that you were too harsh on him. You felt awful.

“I’m awful. I’m an awful person.” You bite on your bottom lip in worry. You’re starting to realise how much of a jerk you’ve been to Jaehyun.

The two boys join your side to comfort you knowing that you probably weren’t aware how to deal with whatever situation you’ve been through together. You sit in your seat trembling just by the thought of Jaehyun truly walking out of your life it made you rethink things. You’ve not been grateful enough for him. Johnny taps your shoulders, to go and show comfort for you.

But no matter what your friends say all your body was telling you to do was go find Jaehyun and apologise on your knees, just go and find him before it’s too late because he was an one in a life time person you’ll ever meet who actually loves you so much he would rather suffer than have you suffer.

“What did you say to him?” Doyoung spoke out causing you to murmur your response in shame.

“I told him to find and look for someone new. So he could get over me quickly.” I flatly said.

Johnny clears his throat when Doyoung looks at Johnny glaring. He knew he shouldn’t of trusted Johnny with this bowling idea.

“I- maybe you weren’t thinking with your heart when you said that, were you?” Johnny slants looking at you and you look back at him.

“Yeah. I thought that… if politics had a solution to everything maybe this did too. The logical route I guess.”

Doyoung never wanted to slap someone so much beforehand but mentally told himself you were built different and perhaps he should go the softer scolding method to way you out.

“Y/n love isn’t politics. Love is something your heart desires not what your brain wants you to do and believe.” Doyoung told you shaking his head.

You widen your eyes realising that Doyoung and Johnny was right. You kept on thinking about Jaehyun logically when you broke it off you kept on thinking that if you put your distance your relationship will be forgotten or something, but in reality your heart never wanted that.

Your heart always wanted Jaehyun. When you and Jaehyun kiss your heart was the only thing beating not your freaking brain.

You clench your hands together suddenly running out and Doyoung looks at Johnny side slanting.

“I bet twenty won that Y/n will make the first move.” Doyoung smirks.

Johnny pull out thirty won in his hand. “I bet thirty that Jaehyun will do the first move.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Wondering endlessly where on earth could Jaehyun be you were chasing the one you were avoiding all this time so stupidly because you were afraid, all because of one single emotion called fear took control over you. In reality you were busy being in denial all in your head thinking about this like it were some freaking political campaign.

Jaehyun wasn’t some protest. He wasn’t an exam you needed to study for. He wasn’t a thing you should’ve been avoiding in all along where in fact you should’ve been here, in front of him, holding him, speaking to him.

Being true to him.

But no you didn’t do that. You were too stupid to.

Meanwhile Jaehyun was spending his precious time mopping about the horrible incident between your fall out he was spending his time wondering if this feeling goes both way. He always chose you. He would always wanna know, if you ever returned his unknowingly emotions he feels for you; the feelings he held dear to his poor ole’ heart for you. He wanna know if you want to be the one to wake up to his side every morning, he wanna know if you ever thought about calling him up, he wanna know if you would have drinks with him like the old times.

He would want to know if you, were willing to be his.

Now you’re the one crawling back to him.

You have iron between your teeth everytime you play it on repeat how shameless you were hurting your friend and his feelings, the guy you all along were falling for but weren’t even aware of it this closely until you were losing him. To know how precious someone is sometimes, you gotta lose the precious think to want it back.

‘Do I wanna know…’

‘I’m crawling back to you.’

‘My heart is open to you now.’

Jaehyun doesn’t need to wonder if your heart is closed at this time or when it’s going to be open next time so he could have you all to himself. No. He doesn’t need to wait anymore.

‘If you wanna to we can be together.’

Jaehyun doesn’t need to hope for you to stay anymore.

‘Because you’re staying with him.’

You run down to the house banging on the door with your fists knocking so hard you could chuck the entire wooden door down by the power you’re enforcing. You were panting, heat coming to your cheeks and your eyes teary eyed with water in them. The cold suppresses your body.

You ran all over the city for him only to crawl back to his house that you’ve been going to all these months sleeping with him, in his warm bed that is now empty, wondering if you’d ever stay in his bedsheets again. Even though they smell of you you’re gone.

The moment you saw Jaehyun standing in the doorway with a distasteful look on his face seeing you, you were the one biting your bottom lip.

“Y/n what are you doing here?”

You never wanted to stay with someone until now.

“I’m here to make things right.” You pant coming forward grabbing Jaehyun by his collars pushing the boy inside his house making you enter with a harsh kiss on his mouth. Jaehyun felt like he were on extreme ecstasy the moment your soft but very cold mouth was roughly exposing him to a makeout with you. Your bodies falling flat on the bed sheets again, it didn’t take a whole second to figure your way round the house. It felt like a core muscle memory for you considering you’ve stayed in this house and in this same exact bed with him so many times to count. It was your secret.

Too many secrets you are keeping with Jaehyun, constantly playing on repeat until you fall asleep. You both were wanting to know if this feel was going on both ways, he was wondering, if you were staying or not. If you were crawling back to him, or not.

Jaehyun swipes you underneath him biting on the bottom lip leaving you breathless, you look mythical underneath him almost like a siren who was alluringly close with his heart bewitching it making him madly in love with you.

“Will this night be the same night for the things you can’t say tomorrow,” Jaehyun watches you deeply wanting a genuine response, to something he wants to know, for a long time he’s been waiting. “Or will it be different. Will you stay with me and become mine?”

You’re watching him with the intent of doing exactly that. To stay until he gets sick of you because you’re done running without a pathway to someone good. You’re done being alone and pretending you don’t need anyone when in reality all you ever needed was someone — someone like Jaehyun.

You cup his face smiling. “I’m crawling back to you. I’m done being your friend, Jaehyun. I am yours.” He watches your face leans in whispering to his lips before deeply touching his own.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear this.”

Jaehyun says as if this were his biggest dream come true to hear you accept the same feelings he was feeling.

He never thought so much before, but he wanted to know and you let him know how you truly felt.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

@onyourhyuck please refer from translating and copyrighting my work thank youu! Reblog this fic and follow for more updates it helps a girl out.

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tossawary · 4 days

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Thinking about the actual living arrangements between Wu Yanzi and Shen Jiu is interesting, because I would think that Wu Yanzi should be more than a little concerned that his new apprentice might decide to turn that bloody sword on him sooner or later.

Putting this below a cut because I'm talking about child abuse here.

You can come up with all sorts of angsty, abusive behavior for Wu Yanzi on the premise that he's afraid of what Shen Jiu might do, simpler examples being things like "he might have made Shen Jiu sleep outside if he was ever taking a room at an inn" and "he might have regularly taken all of Shen Jiu's belongings away because he couldn't 'trust' his disciple with them". More extreme, antagonizing examples being things like "he might have tied Shen Jiu up at night like a dog" or "he might have planted some kind of talismans that prevented Shen Jiu from coming near him or from leaving a small space". He might have even been "matter of fact" about it. Not obviously taking pleasure in a "necessary measure".

I don't think Wu Yanzi treated Shen Jiu like complete shit all the time, I think it probably would have depended on his moods, as it does with many abusers. I just think it's interesting to think about why exactly young Shen Jiu was "terrified to death" of this person. There has to have been a line of "worth putting up with this to learn some cultivation techniques" keeping Shen Jiu from deciding to just risk it and try to kill Wu Yanzi (the line ends up being Yue Qi at the Conference).

It's possible that Wu Yanzi treated Shen Jiu kind of okay most of the time, actually, trusting in his young apprentice's fear without relying on any kind of physical abuse. At the beginning, Wu Yanzi is something of a cultivator and Shen Jiu is not. By forcing Shen Jiu to participate in his foul crimes, he makes it harder for Shen Jiu to leave him, because now Wu Yanzi can threaten to TELL PEOPLE what Shen Jiu has done. And seeing Wu Yanzi kill people in horrific ways such as the Cursed Black Light talismans functions as a very effective threat by itself. "Behave or I'll kill you," is probably all the rope that Wu Yanzi would need to tie Shen Jiu up at night, honestly, stopping his apprentice from killing him in his sleep. Verbal threats and abuse are more than enough, especially when said by an actual murderer.

I think it's interesting to think about the different ways that abuse manifests, and how the different styles of abuse from Qiu Jianluo and Wu Yanzi might have affected Shen Jiu. We don't see a lot of Shen Jiu's life with Wu Yanzi, so we don't know whether or not his behavior was playfully cruel or tersely paranoid or coldly detached. It's easier to draw links between Shen Jiu's abusive treatment of Luo Binghe and Qiu Jianluo's abuse of Shen Jiu.

Anyway, I was thinking about this because I was thinking about more Canon Divergence AUs for Qijiu. Like, what if, after killing Qiu Jianluo, Shen Jiu gets a taste of what his life will be like under Wu Yanzi and throws caution to the wind to murder this guy? He desperately wants to learn cultivation, yes, but he doesn't want another master. Maybe there's some bounty on Wu Yanzi's head and Shen Jiu decides to take it, and hopefully leverage the kill as his legitimate entrance into the cultivation world?

I'm wondering how easy it would be to somehow get Shen Jiu to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect when Yue Qi has been trapped in the Ling Xi caves. I don't think that Shen Jiu would be happy about Yue Qi's imprisonment at all. That could end up being a very dramatic rescue.

#tossawary svsss #fic ideas #wu yanzi #shen jiu #yue qingyuan

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bigboysfalldeep · 11 months

Text

the jacket - brain wash

It's late at night when Antonio walks through the parking garage in the middle of town. He's walking towards his car after clubbing with a few friends. A little tipsy on his feet, he notices his phone ringing in his pocket. Antonio stops and checks his phone. Just a newsletter email. He frowns when he hears steps approaching him from behind.

Looking up, he notices a young guy walking right towards him. Somehow, he looks familiar, but he can't tell why.

At first, he thought he would just pass him, but no. The man stops about two steps in front of Antonio. "Can I, eh, help you?" He says it curiously, while the man just looks at him. Nervously, he opens his mouth to ask him again, but his eyes instinctively wander down the man's upper body. He's wearing a dark leather jacket, a white shirt, jeans, and black Nikes. Just like a normal guy. Something, however, seems different. His skin looks cold, and his eyes are shining faintly and vacant. "Can I.." Antonio asks again, but the man interrupts him. "I think so." The man says his voice is so smooth, deep, and alluring, drawing Antonio in right away. "Huh"? He says this as the man approaches him again. About two feet away, the man stops again, and at this point, a weird smell hovers all around him. A sharp wooden smell cuts through the air, right towards Antonio. "What is that smell?" He says this, taking a deep breath. "You like that?" The man says, his voice so deep again, sending shivers down Antonio's spine. "Yeah." He holds back a soft moan, closing his eyes to stay focused. The smell gets even more invasive, and he tries to shake it off. But when he opens his eyes again, the man stands right in front of him, staring into his eyes.

Flinching, he tries to pull away, but something inside those beautiful, shining eyes holds him in place. "It's the jacket, see?" The man looks down, and Antonio follows his gaze towards the black leather jacket. He watches the man touch the jacket at the zipper, running his fingers down the thin fabric to the end. Underneath, he spots the man's bulge growing inside his tight jeans.

A little weirded out, Antonio focuses on the fingers now running up that zipper all the way to the collar. "Want to touch it?" The man lifts his chin and gaze, and without looking at him, Antonio moves his hand and does the same as the man did before. Again and again. The fabric feels soft, like it is clinging to his skin. A warm feeling spreads through his fingers, his hand, and his arm. A weird but calming feeling.

Antonio opens his mouth, but no words come out; instead, he lets out a guttural growl. "You like that?" The man's voice cuts through his thoughts, and he lifts his head to meet his gaze. Unable to speak, he just nods. "Put it on." The man starts undressing, exposing his beefy arms and shoulders, causing Antonio to gasp breathlessly. That man is so pretty and so hot, and he wants him to wear that beautiful jacket? He feels himself growing harder by the second, the smell still hovering all around them both. "Take it," the man demands, and without hesitation, Antonio takes it.

Still looking into the man's gorgeous eyes, he waits for another command. The man takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and smiles softly.

"Put it on." At this point, Antonio remembers that guy. He talked to one of his friends at the party, trying to get them to leave with him, but they refused.

Then, their eyes met for the first time, and he instantly felt drawn to this beautiful man. But it wasn't long or close enough to have a real effect on him, but right now, right here, there is no denying how attracted he is to this stranger.

"Put it on." The man speaks slowly and opens his eyes. Theyre still vacant, yet so piercing, cutting through his mind and soul.

Antonio flinches at first, but then he puts that jacket on. One arm at a time, he slides into it. It feels like two sizes too large at first, but the wonderful smell makes up for it.

The man was right; the jacket is the source of the alluring scent. "Feels good?" The man tilts his head and leaves his mouth slightly hanging open.

"So good." Antonio lets out another quick moan when his arms start to feel weird. Some kind of heat is radiating from the leather, running up his arms to his shoulders. "What is this feeling?" He says this, swallowing a few of his words. "Feels good, doesn't it?" The man says it in a monotone voice before placing a hand on his chest. He touches him through the leather jacket, and in a second, the warmth spread even quicker, running along his spine all over his back. "What are you doing?" Antonio says that once the man claws into his chest, it doesn't hurt; instead, the fabric of the jacket starts moving, adjusting itself to Antonio's lighter form—a sensational feeling.

The leather gets tighter, closing in on his skin, making all of his muscles bulge harshly. The sleeves are now clinging to his arms, biceps, and shoulders, while the same happens to his chest. Antonio's body starts vibrating as the jacket starts to move even closer, putting pressure on his entire physique. "Fuuuuck." Antonio lets out a long, low moan, while the man now strokes his chest through the jacket.

"Feels good, yeah?" He says it again, in the same dull tone. It doesn't feel like he is really there, a mere shell of his former self. Unable to stay focused, he lowers his gaze, noticing the man's dick now twitching in his pants, a huge wet spot already staining them. At the same time, he gets harder too, with his cock standing at attention, pressing against the fabric of his white trousers. With that smell, that pressure, and the man's aura clouding his thoughts, Antonio tries to pull away one last time, but a firm grip on his neck keeps him standing there. The man must have noticed this, and while stroking him, he put his other hand at Antonio's neck. Right on time, something else starts to radiate from that jacket. The warmth is now making its way through Antonio's body, while sparks of pain and pleasure shoot through his arms and down his spine.

"Let me go, please." Antonio begs, looking at the man who is staring at him, his eyes unfocused yet still so pretty. "Don't fight it. It's much better now." He says, so smooth once more, a part of that former man's self. "Just let it take you." The man starts drooling as he softly thrusts once, twice, his throbbing dick staining his pants more and more.

At the sight of this man reaching his climax, he grabs himself firmly and leans his head back, groaning loudly. A sharp bolt of pain cuts through his spine right into his brain. A message, a command. "Give in. Don't fight me. I need you. Youre mine." Multiple thoughts rush through his brain. It's not the man's voice, but a harsher one, demanding that he follow its words. "Be mine. Give in. So easy. Just relax."

Antonio shakes his head; he's not done yet. He tries to fight harder, but he doesn't even notice that his body isn't following him anymore. His hands are now moving freely, one hand jerking his dickens through his pants and the other stroking his own chest firmly, making it way harder to focus. "Give in to it. Give it what it wants." The man moans deeply, leaning in, his mouth just inches apart from Antonios. At the same time, he also grabs Antonio's twitching cock, and together they move rhythmically. "Be mine. Give in. Now." The man breathes into his mouth, rubbing Antonio's bulge with the palm of his hand.

Then, the jacket grows even tighter around his chest, making it even harder to breathe properly, and for a while, it feels like he's going to suffocate. "So easy." The man breathes again, right into his mouth. Until all of it stops, His body gets stiffer and more rigid than ever before, and it starts twitching. Antonio thrusts into their hands again and again as his cock shoots massive loads over and over again.

"Thats good." The man's deep voice causes Antonio to moan and groan loudly, his screams echoing through the parking garage. For what feels like eternity, his body moves again and again, and even though hes already running dry, his dick still erupts.

"Feels good?" The man runs a hand down his chest and back to his thick dick. A huge wet spot spread across his crotch. Both of their pants are sticky and sweaty, filled with their precious cum.

Antonio then regains his composure and looks at the man. Their eyes are now the same, their minds gone, under that jacket's control.

"It feels good, yes." He says, leaning in, placing a single kiss on the man's lips. They make out for a minute, touching their bodies, their dicks still bulging against their pants.

"Let's go home," Antonio says, his beautiful voice now duller yet more alluring. "Yes Master." The other man says so obediently, and they walk towards Antonio's car.

#male on male #tf story #male hypno #male domination #male transformation #male hypnosis #gay hypno #clothes possession

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raainberry · 4 months

Text

Studious Confession

« Done deliberately or with a purpose in mind. »

Yunjin x gn!reader

Fluff

synopsis - you and your friend yunjin get sidetracked while speed running revisions for finals

wordcount - 1.8K

A/N - save me scholar yunjin, save me…

Absolute academic weapons.

That’s what you and Yunjin aimed to be when you scheduled a study session at your campus library. Exam season was breathing down your necks, and you ignored it for as long as you could, taking each other on the most impromptu hang-outs instead.

Convenience store runs that lead to mukbangs, walks around campus that somehow turned into treetop adventures, late night drives after a long day of classes you spent screaming to whatever she played on the aux… Risking your education (and probably your future) had never been so fun, but all good things must come to an end.

As the end of your junior year approached you were the first one to bring up studying, suggesting you should probably pump the breaks on the distractions. She only called you a nerd, but gave in when you proposed to study together.

The time itself wouldn’t be fun at all, but at least she’d spend it with you. “A win is a win.”, she’d said over the phone, and it only took a few more days to actually motivate yourselves. Reserving a study room was a step in the right direction, but what happened in there would only make you take two steps back.

“That doesn’t even look like me.” You said after she revealed her doodle in the corner of your notebook.

She spent the last five minutes trying to sketch your features out on the bit of blank paper left on your notes instead of focusing on her own.

“Yes it does, look!” She gestured at the messy drawing. “That’s your eyes and your mouth.”

“I am looking, I’m just not seeing.”

It actually did look like you, Yunjin was too talented for it not to. You were just looking at it upside down as you sat across the table from her.

“Well look harder!”

“I don’t want to, stop distracting me!” You whined, switching your pen for a highlighter.

“You’re so mean! Give me my airpod back.” She whined back, actually catching your attention this time.

“What?”

“I don’t want to share my music with you anymore. I need to listen to sad music alone because you’re so mean to me.” She argued, her hand out waiting for the airpod in your ear.

“Are you serious?” You asked, and she only stared at you, retreating her hand only to fold her arms over her chest. “If I say it does look like me, can I keep it?”

“You can keep the drawing, yeah.” She scoffed and you sighed.

You were unsure whether she was serious or not, so you decided to try something that could only have a positive outcome.

“Coffee break?” You proposed, and just like that, her smile was back.

Relief washed over you when her hand found yours, dragging you down to the nearest vending machine. The latter was familiar, it has seen your faces more times than the study rooms as you sometimes only came by to get a coffee from the machine right next to it.

That’s where you met Yunjin, on one of the rare nights she dedicated to her due projects. You’d offered her one of those cheap paper cups, a hole in your student wallet but nothing compared to the world she invited you in afterwards.

Her own little world, the person she was within it, the things she saw and built… It was all so beautiful. You’d get her a thousand of them if it meant learning one new thing every time.

Sometimes you brought her here in hopes for it, and it never failed. The same thing would happen: you’d get her a coffee, she would fight you, try to pay for yours, and you’d ask her about something you’d noticed about her to change the subject. Small details you’d noticed; a pretty necklace, some new earrings, a new hairstyle or the way her makeup looked. Sometimes her mood stood out to you, had you curious. She’d soon forget about her self-imposed debt, getting caught up in the excitment of whatever had caught your attention that day.

“I like your glasses today. How many pairs do you have?” You asked after she sighed out your name. “This is like the fifth pair I’ve seen you wear.”

“Thank you. I have a few. Even more back home.” She said, making you raise an eyebrow.

Her answer was shorter than usual. No spilling over to another subject that your question reminded her of. No squealing about where she got them from, holding your arm as she practically begged for you to come check the small store out with her next time.

Her hands stayed put in her pockets, below the sweater you’d asked about a few weeks ago. It looked comfortable and cozy, and she seemed to grow fond of it based on the way she pulled her hands into the sleeves so often.

“Do they even help you see?” You asked, joking around in an attempt to pull a little more out of her.

“Only two of them do. These aren’t one of them, though.” She giggled to herself, and you could only shake your head at her absurdity.

“Do you even want to pass?” You chuckled as the machine made all kinds of mechanical noises, signaling that the coffee was ready.

She rolled her eyes, getting her hands out of her pockets to grab the cup from yours. The heat emanating from it was the last thing she needed on this fair weather day, but the taste of that coffee was just too good to pass on.

The taste wasn’t the only thing that pushed her to accept each and every one of the cups you offered her. She didn’t even pay attention to it at first, but as time went on, she started looking forward to it. Sometimes to the point of craving it.

Caffeine was dangerous, sure, but she’d come to realise it wasn’t what she had become addicted to.

“How long are you going to keep this up?”

She broke the small silence that had taken its place between the two of you. One of your favorite songs was playing at a faint volume from the airpods you were still sharing, filling in for the lack of words. Your mind had drifted off, long gone and barely listening to your favorite melody as thoughts of her occupied the back of it.

The sound of her voice brought you back, all conscious and hiding how crazy you felt thinking about someone standing right next to you.

A curious hum resonated from your chest, and your eyes met her questioning ones.

“The coffee. When are you gonna let me pay you back?” She asked, and you smiled.

“You don’t need to.”

“But I want to. You spent like a hundred dollars since the beginning of the year.” She frowned.

“That’s a bit excessive. I’d say 30 dollars at the most. It’s really cheap coffee.” You pointed out.

It took everything in her not to call you a smartass. It seemed like a terrible way to confess her feelings. Especially when what she felt, the light she saw you in painted you as far more than a smartass. The opposite, or maybe a more positive and kind alternative.

“You really don’t want me to pay you back?” She insisted, and you shook your head, amused.

This wasn’t the first time she was asking, and you didn’t expect it to be the last, but your answer would remain the same.

You didn’t want her money.

“You could at least admit you want something in return.”

Her words wiped the delectation right off your face. The lighthearted atmosphere suddenly vanished, replaced by a heavy and uncomfortable one.

You had trouble finding the right way to breathe, scared it would shift the conversation into a much too unpredictable path.

“Wh—what?” You stuttered, furrowing your eyebrows in the most natural way you could.

Yunjin wasn’t having it, although in a simpler moment she would have laughed at your poor attempt.

“Come on, Y/n.” She probed. “No one gives out that many compliments out of pure kindness only.”

“There probably are a few people—” You started, but the way she stared at you kept you from rambling further.

There was no escaping it, she obviously knew what was going on. In theory, you couldn’t be surprised as you hoped for your actions to be obvious, or at the least for her to notice them.

Now that she did, you weren’t sure what to do. Hell, you didn’t even know where or how to stand anymore, you hadn’t thought that far ahead.

“Well—I mean, I kind of have been doing this to get to know you a little more.” You mumbled.

One of her eyebrows furrowed, and you sighed. This wasn’t exactly ideal for the embarrassment you felt.

“We’ve been friends for months, is it so difficult to do that? Am I that hard to read?” She wondered, amused.

“I don’t know, it feels easier this way… For me at least.” You looked down, eyes sweeping the floor as you did your best to avoid her gaze.

Embarrassed was only the start to describing how this whole thing made you feel. Everything you did, everything you told and asked her in order to find out more, as sincere and truthful it all was… It all seemed so silly. Collecting all those bits of her personnality, of her mind; piecing them all together in sercret and falling behind closed doors…

What was the point of putting yourself through so much if it would all come to light anyway?

Would it even be worth it?

“Right. Well…” She trailed off, and your eyes were pulled by the sudden movement of her hand between the two of you.

You watched as it hesitantly approached yours, waiting to see if it would welcome it only for you to wrap your fingers around her palm in a heartbeat— that was to say it happened fast as your heart had picked up the pace for a while now.

Yunjin kept her smile to herself, hiding her appreciation behind treacherous eyes that she focused on your joined hands. The spark she held in her gaze whenever she looked at you was hard to erase—she couldn’t believe you hadn’t noticed it.

“Let your wallet rest a bit.” She joked, finally looking up at you. “Whatever you want to know, next time you can just ask.”

“Do you like me?”

“Oh.” Her eyebrows raised in surprise as you shared a laugh over the sudden, bold question.

It wasn’t exactly unlike you, but judging on the past couple minutes, neither of you really expected it.

“I do like you.” She admitted, a shy smile letting you know she wasn’t as cool about it as she tried to be before adding. “When you’re not nagging me about finals.”

“If this is one of your ways to get out of studying I’m gonna be so mad.” You half-joked.

It would be a pretty insane thing to pull, but you wouldn’t put it past her. She loved to avoid schoolwork, no matter the excuse.

“If it was I wouldn’t ask you to get back to it.”

“You haven’t.”

“I am now.” She smiled, tugging on your hand the same way she had to bring you here.

You could only follow as she jogged back to your study room. Whether her excitment came from studying or the progression of your relationship, you had a small idea. It put a smile on your face that you wouldn’t be able to get rid of for as long as she was the one holding your hand.

And wherever she’d lead you, you’d follow.

#lesserafim x reader #huh yunjin x reader #yunjin x reader #huh yunjin #le sserafim #yunjin fluff #le sserafim fluff

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heesdreamer · 1 year

Text

SILENCED (1)

MASTERLIST

GENRE ➩ enhypen zombie apocalypse au!

SUMMARY ➩ navigating life 1 year post end of the world was already difficult as you avoided rotting corpses with hefty appetites and groups with various bad intentions. things get harder when you run into a group of survivors, 7 boys who make it impossible to run away.

WC ➩ 10.7k

WARNINGS ➩ all things that zombies bring like gore and death lol, sexual content, main character death etc

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ this was originally a one shot story but under request from people that read my stories before i post it’s going to be a multiple part series! hope you enjoy the first installment as it builds up the world and characters plz let me know your thoughts and guesses (NOT PROOFREAD)

Whenever you pictured the apocalypse, the end of the world that people often talked about over drunken hypotheticals or PG-13 level horror, you pictured it loud.

Thunderous even, a deafening mixture of screams and cries behind the roar of fire and destruction.

You imagined utter chaos and it was never quiet in your head when you did so, a clear built scenario that you never paid too much mind to, considering the absolute fantasy of it all.

So now that you were almost a year deep into the official end of humanity, you were a bit thrown off by how different it was from your previous assumptions. Sure, there had been fire and screams and it definitely wasn’t lacking chaos, but most days you found yourself in complete ear ringing silence.

The soundtrack of your day to day life rarely extended past birds chirping, the crunch of leaves and loose sticks under your boots as you attempted your way through forest filled terrain.

It’d taken you a while to leave Seoul, first being held back by fear and panic and then not wanting to leave the comfort of your known surroundings.

It was easy to figure out how to survive there after a while, knowing when it was safe to leave your apartment and scavenge the nearby stores and when it was time to draw the blinds and let’s hoards pass by undetected.

You’d sit with bated breath as you listened to soft groans and bodies bumping against your front door as they mindlessly made their way down the hallway and eventually off to find something that had made a noise or distracted them.

When you imagined the apocalypse before you hadn’t really considered the different types that could occur. You suppose chemical outbreak or maybe even a world war could’ve been possible, far fetched but possible nonetheless. Maybe even multiple waves of natural disasters, wiping out cities and land masses in its wake.

Somehow, the dead rising hadn’t crossed your mind.

The creatures that had lingered outside your door all those months ago weren’t like anything you could’ve possibly dreamed up in your anxious mind, defying science and all rationality with their mere existence and hunger based drive.

It didn’t bother you as much now, having spent weeks frustrated over the mechanics of their mobility, the reasoning for their immortality.

Now you felt somewhat close to them, these days hunger being your main reason for existence and almost your entire train of thought from the moment you woke up to the second you fell asleep. This was the same thing that had finally driven you from the city, the stores running dry eventually and leaving you no choice but to turn to nature for nutrients.

You thought about this comparison now as you came to a slow stop, lowering yourself down into a crouch as you listened to the branches snapping off in the distance.

The knife in your hand felt heavier than normal, eyes darting around the forest as you took in your surroundings and made a quick escape plan in case it was more than one undead, in case you needed to run and run fast. You didn’t want to leave just yet, having followed a deer into the woods a few hours ago and you were in desperate need of an actual meal.

Shifting your weight onto your heels, you listened to the sounds come closer and then stop when they reached a bush a few yards ahead of you.

Your head was cocking in confusion, grip tightening around the leather of your knifes handle as you waited for it to continue its approach. The bush rattled a few times, keeping your attention tightly locked on it as you held your breath.

“Put it down.” A low voice was sounding behind you and you froze, feeling the cold metal pressed against the back of your head before you even registered the fact that somebody was speaking.

It’d been weeks since you’d heard something so real, something so human other than your own voice and you felt a sudden wave of dizziness at the fact you were clearly stuck.

For a brief moment you considered spinning in place and attempting to disarm him, relying on your own swiftness taking him off guard and beating his reactionary speed that would cause him to pull the trigger before you even saw what he looked like.

This plan was put to rest quicker than you could think it through, the bush rattling again as another figured pushed its way through the thick leaves. You watched his face pull into a wince when he saw you and you furrowed your eyebrows.

“Hyung.” He muttered and you heard a sigh from behind you, their plan clearly not entailing this interruption. “She doesn’t have anything on her.”

The one behind you didn’t say anything about this, still not taking his gun off you considering the fact you’d made absolutely no move to lower your own weapon like he had originally instructed you. You remained still despite a wave of fear washing over you at the realization you had nothing of value for them to take other than yourself, a sudden reminder that the apocalypse was scary but being a woman was scarier.

“Go.” He was speaking again, still in that low timbre and the boy from the bush winced again, shaking his head like he wanted to deny the order but also taking an instinctive step forward like he was accustomed to taking them.

You couldn’t get a grasp on their dynamic or what they exactly wanted from you, the boy stood in front of you looked nervous like he had a thin idea of what would happen and he didn’t agree with it. You considered for a second if this was a situation worth trying to talk your way out of, eventually deciding to just let things take their course with your limited options.

“You don’t need to kill her, let’s just leave her here and go back.” He was taking another step forward and he continued to look over your shoulder, eyes only darting down to yours for a second in a silent plea for your cooperation. “She doesn’t know which way we’ll go”

“She was tracking.” The boy behind you was immediately noting and you almost cursed under your breath at the fact he was right. If you wanted to follow them you could, their tracks in the dirt obvious to you now that you’d spent months learning the skill.

“Then we tie her up and leave her, but we don’t need to kill.” He was shaking his head in exasperation and you could hear the boy behind you let out a frustrated sigh.

You had no doubt in your mind that if he was alone he would’ve killed you without a second thought, swift and silent in the way he had approached you from behind and keeping his gun firmly pressed against your skull. Despite your confusion you were silently thankful for the others boys resolve, although it came off as weak to you.

“If you’re going to tie me up in the woods you might as well kill me yourselves.” You were speaking for the first time and both boys reacted immediately.

The one behind you was shifting on his feet to stand firmer, pressing his metal into you while the other in front was giving you a helpless look, clearly upset you had immediately undone any progress he was making for your release.

It was silent for a few moments after that as they looked at each other and you wondered what conclusion they were coming to with just their glances. You hadn’t done yourself any favors in your statement but it was true, leaning you defenseless this close to dark was more of a death sentence than a bullet in your brain.

“We can take her back with us.” The boy from the bush was eventually whispering in a last attempt at keeping you alive, hands coming forward in a plea. “Not as a guest just as a prisoner for now, until we figure out what to do with her.”

You almost laughed at him but decided against it although figuring there was no possible way that would be allowed considering two seconds ago they were about to kill you. However the silence, and lack of immediate rejection, from behind you made you second guess.

You were being pulled to your feet before you even could process him moving again. “You’re explaining it to him, I’m not taking the heat for this.”

His tone was harsh but tired and you were startled at the fact he was actually taking you with, even more fear sinking in as you realized the ‘him’ he was referring to meant they weren’t out here alone. For some reason you hadn’t considered them being with a larger group.

The other boy didn’t say anything but you imagined he gave some form of silent acceptance considering the fact you were suddenly being moved forward harshly with your hands held behind your back.

You hadn’t seen the second boy yet but you were unnerved considering he was able to hold both your wrist together with a single hand, still keeping his gun pressed between your shoulder blades as you moved clumsily through the woods.

From their dynamic you had assumed they were alone, your first mistake, and that he was the leader out of the two of them. Hearing his words about explanation you realized the hierarchy wasn’t that simple and there was clearly somebody they both answered to outside of each other.

“Are your hands okay?” You looked to your left to see the kinder boy following you as you walked, staying at your side with his gun tight in his hands now.

The boy behind you sighed at his question and you weren’t sure exactly how to answer. They were hurting and if you saw any way out of this you would’ve complained, made a sarcastic comment that could potentially get your ass kicked if they weren’t feeling up for jokes at the moment.

Instead you offered him a small nod and turned back to face forward so you didn’t trip.

Your options now were to die here and now, act out and become more of a hinderance than their willing to deal with. Or go along with them and most likely end up being killed eventually anyways, maybe after at least one more night of sleep. You kept your mouth shut for the time being and kept walking.

“We should’ve blindfolded her.” The boy behind you was muttering after an hour or two went by and you vaguely heard the sounds of chatter and fire crackling off in the distance now. “He’s going to lose his shit.”

“Maybe we have Jake talk to him first.” The other one was whispering from beside you as the three of you slowed to a stop, accessing the situation before approaching with a stranger in toe.

It was clear to you now that this group was far larger than you had anticipated. They continued to whisper new names and you listened to the overlapping conversations off in the distance, your heart beating so fast it hurt as you skimmed through the different scenarios this could end in.

While they were distracted you were taking your chance, throwing your shoulder backwards to hit the first boy and taking off in a sprint back the way they had taken you from. You ignored his cry of shock and the others frantic plea for you to stop and come back as you whipped through the trees.

The sun was setting now so any tracking skills you had was completely useless, relying on nothing but your feet and the surrounding terrain as you attempted to put as much distance between you and the others as possible.

You could hear the two who had brought you back with them starting to yell out for help and despite cursing under your breath in frustration, you didn’t blame them and saw it coming before you even ran. You were a stranger and now you knew exactly where they were located, going from a hostage to a threat in seconds.

It had only been 20 minutes of running before you had exhausted yourself from lack of pacing, slamming against a tree and bending over with your elbows to your knees to try and catch your breath.

You could hear shouts in the forest behind you along with groans that brought on the harsh reminder you had more than one enemy in the woods. Their yells and loud feet over leaves and sticks were going to continue to bring more of the dead down on you and you were starting to panic completely.

Before you could think about it anymore or start running again, something heavy was slamming into your side and you were hitting the ground hard.

You flew across the leaves and mud before flipping over onto your back with a shout and scrambling away from whatever had rammed you before you even registered what it was. Another boy, not the one from the bush, was bouncing back to his feet considering he’d also hit the ground after he tackled you and was approaching you swiftly.

He looked furious but you couldn’t tell what type of weapons he had in the dark, kicking you feet out as he gained on you and hitting him in the knee.

A groan fell from his lips and he bent to grab his leg as you pulled yourself off the ground and instinctively reached down towards your thigh for your knife, finding the holster empty and immediately remembering it’d been taken from you hours ago.

He chuckled at your obvious dilemma although it lacked humor, an annoyed expression on his face like you were wasting his time. He was suddenly lunging at you again and although you were fast, he was definitely bigger and you let out a scream as he pinned you back down onto the floor.

Your stomach was pressed tightly against the dirt and you felt his knee land on your back, holding your arms tightly so you couldn’t break free from his hold again.

“Stop fucking moving already.” He was grunting from above you as you continued to thrash and attempt to kick at him despite slowly coming to the realization there was no getting free.

“Hyung.” Another voice was screaming out, obviously following the sounds of your cries and screams to find you. You twisted your head against the dirt to see the boy from the bush approaching you with a few others behind him.

“Sunoo go, you’ve done enough.” Your attacker was spitting from above you and you saw a flash of hurt over the others face, immediately taking a step back towards the rest of the boys who were watching the scene with varying expression.

Sunoo, the one who had brought you here in the first place, was clearly experiencing guilt as he looked down at you but you weren’t sure if it was for you or for causing an issue for his group. One of the boys behind him was reaching a hand up to grab his arm, pulling him backwards softly so he didn’t have to watch.

“Heeseung it wasn’t his fault.” You didn’t recognize the boy who was speaking now, approaching from the side, but you immediately could tell from his low timbre that he was the one who had held you at gunpoint. “I fucked up, we didn’t know what to do.”

“You kill her.” Heeseung was forcing the words out through gritted teeth and you were squirming again underneath his knee, the pain in your back excruciating as you started to find it difficult to breathe. “Or you leave her to the rotters, but under no circumstances do you bring her back to camp.”

Sunoo was glancing at the boy who had said something with a furthering expression of guilt and upset considering the fact those ideas had both been rejected by him. You thought about saying something, about pleading for your life or negotiating a deal where they could bring you far away and leave you somewhere you couldn’t find your way back.

You quickly decided against it considering how serious the boy above you was speaking, also piecing together this was clearly who was in charge and was being discussed in the woods previously.

The others boys were watching in the distance and you were trying to count them to see how outnumbered you were, eventually giving up considering how dark it was and how dizzy you were getting from being pinned against the floor. It was definitely more than you could handle and there was clearly no use in trying to out run them again considering how silently and quickly Heeseung had caught up to you the first time.

You hadn’t even heard him before he came out of the trees and it’d only taken him a second to bounce back onto his feet despite the tackle almost completely knocking the wind out of you.

He had you beat in all aspects and you didn’t feel like poking the bear would be the best move if you wanted to survive the night. That might not be up to either of you however considering the low groans that were starting to fill the forest.

Between the darkness and the almost echoing night air you couldn’t quite tell which direction it was coming from and judging by the way the group of boys starting to look around with their weapons raised, they couldn’t either.

You were being pulled up off the floor before you could think for another second and you sucked in a big breath now that your lungs were no longer restricted, immediately faltering when you were aggressively yanked around as Heeseung started to move towards the boys.

He was flinging you around like a rag doll and you heard him give out a low whistle, the others immediately forming a semi circle defense while everyone started to move in sync through the forest back towards where their camp was. It was a practiced routine and you would’ve been impressed if you weren’t technically their opponent right now.

“Pick your damn feet up.” He was speaking lowly into your ear with irritation and you let out a grunt as he continued to drag you.

“If you gave me a fucking second maybe I could.” You were spitting back and thrashing your torso forward slightly so his grip on your arms would loosen, he didn’t say anything about this and just glared at you as he let you get your balance so you could travel back to the base faster. “Thanks.”

He scoffed but didn’t reply to your sarcastic comment, traveling swiftly in silence on guard in case more than one dead came out from the dark woods.

By the time you got back to the camp, the fires were put out and nobody else was around. You weren’t sure if that’s because it was late or because everybody who lived here was apart of the group trailing behind you.

The camp was mainly made up of tents, some smaller like they were only fit for a pair and some large with big wooden stakes to hold them up. There was a few RV’s you could see from where you were standing and some trucks that could possibly run but for the most part they were large rust buckets littered with blood and dirt residue like the rest of the worlds vehicles.

You were being pulled into the largest tent before you could finish your observation and sat down in a chair furtherest away from the opening. You almost made a comment about them thinking you’d run again but you decided it wasn’t the best idea.

Only two of the boys followed you inside after Heeseung, the one from earlier who had attempted to take the blame off Sunoo and another you didn’t recognize.

“So what’s the plan then?” He was the one who spoke first and you glanced at him from under your messy hair, shifting uncomfortably as Heeseung tied your hands behind the chair tightly.

“First this idiot needs to tell me why he brought her back in the first place.” After he was finished and confident his ties were strong he was circling back around and approaching the familiar one, you couldn’t see his face anymore but his back was tense and straight. “What were you thinking?”

He cocked his head slightly but he didn’t seem deterred or intimidated by Heeseung’s demeanor, only breaking eye contact to spare you a quick glance.

You wondered if he was worried you’d give up the fact it was Sunoo who had practically insisted they bring you back. It was interesting that despite telling him he had to be the one to take the heat originally, he had immediately stepped up for the blame once he realized Heeseung was truly angry.

“She’s a tracker.” He brought his gaze back to the other boy as he spoke calmly. “She would’ve found us if we just left her and I saw no other option.”

The boy you didn’t recognize was looking at you now with a curious expression and you turned your head to look at him for a second, not able to get a good read on what he was thinking or what side of this argument he would be on. You wondered if this was the one mentioned earlier, Jake.

“You should’ve killed her Jay.” He was holding your gaze as he said it and you were taken back by his comment, not expecting him to be so blunt and cold.

Jay, despite being the one to originally put a gun to your head, also looked thrown off by this and faltered in his calm expression for a second and he looked at him. “Are you serious?”

“Jake’s right.” Heeseung shook his head, confirming your previous suspicious and Jay let out a small laugh of disbelief, taking a step away from the two boys back towards the entrance.

“I’m just supposed to blow her brains out right in front of Sunoo, just because there’s a slight chance she’d follow us?” He was holding his hands up in frustration and you shifted uncomfortably in the seat again, causing their heads to turn towards you.

Heeseung was approaching you swiftly and you watched him as he took large steps, gasping when his hand was reaching up to grab a solid chunk of your hair in his tight grip. He pulled slightly to make you look at up him, bending slightly so he could hold eye contact with you.

“How many people are in your group?” He was speaking steadily and low but you could feel the warning in his tone.

You were shaking your head in denial and confusion but stopped when he tightened his grip and repeated himself louder and more agitated. “How many?”

“I don’t have a group, it’s just me.” You were wincing and trying to hold his gaze, failing miserably due to the pain and intensity. Your eyes went over his shoulder to look at Jay and you gave him a desperate look. “Tell him it was just me.”

He didn’t say anything and you didn’t expect him to, only asking out of pure panic and as a last ditch attempt to plead your case. You weren’t afraid to die but if you could help it, it wouldn’t be in some random groups tent just because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Heeseung was loosening his grip on your hair as he looked at you but keeping his hand on the back of your head, a silent warning in case you decided to act out in any sort of way. You watched him with your breath held as you waited for him to say something or react in any sort of way. He was just studying your expression like he was attempting to seek out some trace of a lie on your face.

“You can track.” He was stating suddenly but you took it as a question and nodded repeatedly as best as you could with how close he was to your face. “Can you hunt?”

You were nodding again but slower this time, not quite understanding where this was going. He was looking over his shoulder back at the other boys and Jake gave him an incredulous look that only confused you further before you slightly pieced together what he could he implying.

“You’re not serious.” He was laughing but it was devoid of humor, glancing at Jay who was stony faced as he looked at you. “Heeseung, you can’t be serious right now. Let her stay?”

You felt a wave of sickness pass by as he confirmed what you were thinking and you hoped you didn’t look too appalled visibly. You didn’t like this idea anymore than the thought of them killing you, never being in a group by choice. You didn’t necessarily play well with others and certainly not after they held you hostage and tackled you in the woods.

“She hunts.” He said it like it was obvious and you couldn’t deny the fact it was a valuable asset nowadays as human-made resources slowly died out. You’d noticed it yourself back at your apartment, having to venture out further and further every time you went for a run.

“Riki hunts.” Jake was quickly shutting him down and your interest piqued.

“Riki is learning to hunt but it’s not enough.” Jay was adding into the conversation now, still looking at you as he spoke like he had been since he entered the tent. “It’s almost winter and we can’t keep taking these day long trips every time we’re low…. and we’re always low.”

It was silent for a few moments while they looked at each other in frustration and you once again tried to understand the hierarchy and dynamics at play here, falling short every time. Eventually Jake was scoffing and exiting the tent, slamming the flap down as he left in anger.

Heeseung swiped a hand at Jay, dismissing him too and you didn’t miss the small nod he gave you before turning on his heel and following after the other boy.

That left you and Heeseung alone in the tent and he was taking a step away from you finally, watching you curiously as you took a breath finally and held his gaze tight in yours. You felt a dull ache in your back from his knee and your wrist were screaming for release from your constraints.

“Think of it as a trial.” He was turning away from you for a second as he started to talk and you stared daggers into the back of his head. “I don’t kill you now and in return, you don’t do something stupid.”

You watched him as he started to face you again with a stern look on his face, a hint of youth underneath the hardened exterior, and his eyes shot down to your feet and then back to hold your gaze. “Don’t give me a reason to kill you.”

——

You hadn’t spoken to him again but he didn’t seem too bothered by your silence, only muttering small commands as he dragged you out of the tent and towards one of the RV’s.

You were being left there for the night and you tried not to move much after he cut your restraints with a warning full glance, not wanting him to mistake your movements for another attempt at an escape. Despite not wanting to be there any longer than you had to, your chances were slim out in the woods by yourself.

You figured it wouldn’t hurt to stay a few nights, slipping out whenever you had gained their trust and didn’t need to sleep in a guarded metal bucket.

He’d left you with one of the boys you recognized from earlier in the woods, the one who had gently pulled Sunoo back after he started to get scolded. He looked the opposite of gentle now as he glared at you from the foldable table on the other side of the RV, gun hanging loosely on his lap and he watched you.

“Is there something on my face?” You were eventually muttering, not able to stop yourself as irritation bubbled to the surface.

You hadn’t asked to be brought back here, not even remotely putting yourself in this situation, yet everybody was acting like you were purposely causing issues or trying to harm them.

“You shouldn’t be here.” He was shaking his head and the deep tone of his voice threw you off slightly considering how young he looked.

Despite his youthful features, you could tell he was just as weathered and worn by this new world as everybody else was, you included. His eyebrows were pulled tight and his skin was darker in random sections like he had permanent dirt stains.

He was watching you as you observed him quietly, fidgeting slightly the longer you scanned his features and frame.

He was tall, a lot taller than you and even the other boys you’d encountered long enough to get a good sizing up done. You tried not to focus in on the tears in his clothing or the blood stains surrounding his knees and hands, not wanting to make him more uncomfortable than you already were.

“If you don’t want me here, why not just let me go?” You were shrugging like it was a nonchalant thing to ask, feigning ignorance that he clearly didn’t buy judging by his scoff and annoyed expression.

“And get in trouble for no good reason? Are you stupid or do you think I am?” He was letting his gun lean against the table, deciding you were more of a bother than an actual threat.

You shrugged but didn’t talk to him again for a minute of offer him a response to his question, knowing it would just further upset him. Considering the two of you were clearly stuck with each other for the night you didn’t see the point. “I’m Y/N.”

He was sighing as you spoke again, your voice softer than before as you shifted on the uncomfortable half bed Heeseung had sat you down on. You watched him watch you for a few seconds before he finally responded.

“Riki.”

——

You weren’t sure when you had managed to fall asleep, at some point just laying flat on your back and listening to the sounds of the forest off in the distance as they mixed with Riki’s soft breaths on the other side of the RV.

Apparently you had considering the fact you were being shook awake aggressively, jumping up with a start and reflexively striking the person who had woken you.

“Dude what the fuck.” Jake was standing near your bed and shielding his face from any further assault, a pained look on his face. You gave him an incredulous stare at his reaction, not quite sure how he expected you to react to being vibrated awake by a stranger who had encouraged your death last night. “Make yourself useful.”

He was turning and leaving after that quick statement and you groaned, flopping backwards onto the uncomfortable mattress for a second before kicking up and out of the bed, following him outside before he got too far away and you were lost in the camp.

“You’re going out with Heeseung today.” He was explaining as you jogged to catch up with him, trying to ignore the stares and whispers from the other boys as you passed.

“Does that mean I get my knife back?” You were asking him despite already knowing the answer and he shot you a quick glance at the sound of your voice, looking away as you furrowed your eyebrows.

“First piece of advice, don’t ask stupid questions.” He was stepping forward towards a different tent than last night, holding the flap open with a raised arm until you got the hint and ducked underneath it with a muttered word of thanks. He followed behind you and you saw Heeseung and two other boys sat around the tent, gearing up.

Sunoo was there and he faltered for a second when he saw you, another look of guilt washing over his face as his shoulders tensed. You gave him a small nod but it didn’t seem to appease him in anyway.

The other boy wasn’t looking at you, instead focusing on the disassembled gun in his lap as he meticulously cleaned it and cleared his throat. His hands were fast and swift, no hesitation or question in his expression.

“They’re going on a run too.” Heeseung was speaking and you looked up at him to see who he was talking to, surprised to see him already watching you. “We are heading off in the other direction.”

You were nodding and fidgeting in place, not quite sure how to respond to him in a way that didn’t immediately showcase your frustration. You weren’t thrilled about going out into the world with no weapons and no clue if this guy had good intentions, maybe this was his way of killing you as quietly as possible. He obviously wasn’t expecting you to hunt with your bare hands so you weren’t sure why he was bringing you along.

Still, you didn’t bother arguing with him and after a few more minutes of prep you were following him into one of the trucks off away from the main camp.

“There’s a town about an hour away.” He was muttering eventually as he drove, the heavy rumble of the old engine almost putting you to sleep if it wasn’t for the aggressive way the truck jerked every time he amateurly changed gears. “We cleared it for food but at the time we weren’t thinking about other types of supplies.”

You were watching the side of his face as he spoke and he spared you a glance at your silence. “You think there’s still stuff left now?”

“Possibly but it’s worth a shot. There’s a reason you’re out here and not in Seoul just like us, a lower populated town means maybe less survivors passed by when everything went to shit.” He was sighing as he spoke but seemed hopeful as he tried to convince you.

He wasn’t wrong for the most part, you had traveled to a more rural area in hopes for less of the dead and more towns left undiscovered. You figured if this didn’t end soon then there would be no place left that wasn’t completely cleared out.

Heeseung was large and sturdy but you didn’t miss his sunken in cheeks and darkened eyes, clearly lacking vital nutrients and a healthy lifestyle. It wasn’t that jarring considering you hadn’t met anybody who was doing particularly well but being in a group with larger numbers certainly made things a bit more uneasy.

You took a second to study him as he drove, trailing your gaze from his black long sleeve down to his matching cargo pants. His weapon holster was tightly pulled around his thigh similarly to how yours normally sat and you were suddenly reminded how defenseless you currently were.

“How do you know I’m from Seoul.” You didn’t necessarily feel like talking to him anymore than you had to but if you were going to be stuck with him in charge of your life, maybe some small talk wouldn’t hurt.

“Riki.” He spoke bluntly but it answered your question considering the fact you’d spent most of the night talking to the younger boy after the tension between you had calmed down. “Nice to hear you actually talk occasionally.”

“Maybe I’m more inclined to speak with people who haven’t tried to kill me.” You were quipping back and he let out a small chuckle at your sudden change in tone, not taking any actual offense.

You understood why he had done what he did and he knew you understood but that didn’t mean you were happy about the way things had went down and were continuing to go. You didn’t want to be with them and that much was clear but at some point he had figured if you had somewhere to go, you would’ve put up more of a fight.

The truck jerked particularly hard around another turn onto a dirt road and he swore under his breath, yanking at the shift knob until it slightly smoothed out again.

He gave you an awkward glance out of the side of his eyes and you tried not to chuckle at his terrible manual driving skills. You figured eventually everybody would adapt to things they hadn’t needed to before but it was slightly amusing to know most of the world was desperately trying to adjust to things you’d always had available to you.

You didn’t bother telling Heeseung you could drive a stick shift better than anything else, having been taught in one back in high school. He didn’t need to know how good you were at setting camouflaged rabbit traps or that you weren’t half bad with a bow. Your skill set was better kept a secret until you could get as far away from this group as possible.

By the time you were finally pulling up to a small town, if you could even call it that considering it was just a few old wooden buildings and shops in a U shape, Heeseung seemed to have relaxed a bit.

“We’ll be in and out.” He was carefully instructing as you got out of the car and you nodded although you were feeling frustrated about having no weapon. “Stay close by in case you run into an issue okay?”

Despite your upset and undeniable feeling of vulnerability, the run was going smoothly for the most part. You were quick to enter buildings behind Heeseung as he checked for undead and you had actually managed to get a bag full of supplies that could help the group through the winter.

Your guard was lowering slightly considering you’d come across little corpses, the small town seemingly sheltered from the horror the rest of the world had been subjected to.

Neither of you talked much, the mission being at the front of your minds and you were thankful for the lack of distraction.

It wasn’t until you were on your fourth building, some old auto shop with a connecting garage, that you realized how mistaken you had been. Heeseung was still outside the front door, fidgeting with something old and rusty that you couldn’t quite place.

Whatever it was, he seemed determined to unearthed it from the weeds that had grown around it and you impatiently shoved past him into the store. He offered a small scoff as you pushed through but didn’t bother chasing after you or demanding you wait, also making the mistake of being relaxed.

The second you entered the shop and the door closed behind you, a small gap left open considering the door was also subjected to the growing nature that almost converted the entire building, you smelt it.

Throughout the many months you’d been getting accustomed to the apocalypse and all it’s trials and faults, you still hadn’t adjusted to the overwhelming stench that came along with awaken corpses. It was especially murderous when they moved in masses or were left rotting since the start.

“Heeseung.” You were calling out in a hushed voice, slowing down your steps and looking around the store with confusion. You ignored the fact it was the first time you’d said the boys name and how casually it slipped out, listening in to his small hum of acknowledgment from outside. “Do you smell that?”

You could hear him setting down the metal thing he was obsessing over and pushing the door open swiftly, looking at you with a worried expression.

Before he could speak or confirm your senses, you were hitting the floor with a shriek.

It took you a second to realize why you had fallen but the moment you started to think straight again you could feel the tight bony hand wrapped around your ankle, having dragged you down onto the dust covered floor. You sucked in a sharp breath and scrambled back the best you could, kicking at the walker who had gripped your pant leg.

You could see it now, halfway stuck underneath one of the fallen shelves and desperate in the way it’s jaws snapped around nothing.

You were still kicking it when you realized the groans suddenly starting up were far too loud to be coming from the single walker in front of you, understanding with a wave of panic that your shriek had clearly awaken whatever amount of dead it was that was causing such an odor.

“Fuck.” Heeseung was entering the store swiftly and rushing over to you, immediately stomping the rotted skull of the dead that was holding you with his boot.

Ignoring the amount of blood and brain matter that sprayed out on your face at his action, you accepted his hand and let him pull you up and off the floor.

There was no time to dust yourself off as you both heard crashing and groans coming from the connected auto garage, clearly full of dead that had been starving for far too long. They were pouring out in pairs from the small doorway and you and Heeseung stood frozen as you tried to think of a way out of this.

They were coming from both sides of the aisle, filling up the only exit route back to the open door and sufficiently trapping you in the store.

Your fingers were twitching and reaching down to your empty holster, cursing once you remember you had no weapons on you and turning your head to glare at Heeseung who was already watching you with a panicked expression.

His eyes shot behind your head and you almost jumped out of the way, expecting something dead and hungry behind you, before he was reaching a hand out to grip your arm and pull you with him.

You didn’t object despite your confusion and you followed him swiftly, groaning loudly when you understood he was leading you towards the back of the shop where a small maintenance closet was hidden behind some tool carts and brooms.

“Hurry up, help me.” He was shouting back at you as he started to throw things out of the way and you unfroze, helping him clear the way to the door.

You were spinning around once finished to see the hoard closing in on you, a flustered shout pushing past your lips. “Heeseung.”

“I’m trying.” He groaned, his leg propped up against the wall as he kept trying to pry open the old rusted door with all his weight.

Finally, he was stumbling back in your direction and you grabbed his arm to stop him from falling into the awaiting arms of the dead that were now only a few feet from being able to grab onto you. He was immediately catching his footing and ushering you into the closet before closing it tightly behind the two of you.

You sat with bated breath and you waited to see if it would hold, the bodies of the corpses smacking against it as they clawed and practically shrieked with hunger.

Heeseung was holding the doorknob tightly so it wouldn’t spring back open and although it was dark, flashes of light that managed to break past the dozens of shoes outside the door, revealed to you his fearful expression that didn’t help calm your nerves.

You opened your mouth to speak and ask him about what you were supposed to do but his eyes were shooting to your in a glare, his free hand coming up to cover your mouth as he shushed you.

Your eyes widened at the fact he was suddenly touching you, looking down at the hand over your face and then back up at him as he swiftly ripped it away and shook his head, gesturing to the door like you were stupid for trying to make any noise.

He didn’t look at you again as you furrowed your eyebrows in annoyance but nodded in understanding, realizing he wanted to wait until they had settled before showing any sign of life. They could definitely smell you and had no reason to give up, only driven by hunger, but you figured eventually something would come by and distract them.

Which gave you some hope that you could get out of here safe, not wanting to die stuck in a smelly auto shop closet with Heeseung, but you also let out a small sigh knowing you’d be waiting here for a long time.

For the first time since you’d been rushed inside the small space, you took a second to look around. It was tiny, so small that if Heeseung was standing straight and not bending slightly to keep the door held shut, his shoulder would be touching the other wall.

To make matters worse the opposite width wasn’t any bigger, the toes of your boots smushed against his with no room to scoot backwards or make less contact.

Eventually he was slowly letting go of the metal door knob, moving barely an inch every ten seconds as you both waited to see if they were going to suddenly rip the door open and devour you whole. It was clear after a few minutes that it was sturdy enough to keep you hidden behind it for now, you’re not sure you could say the same about the next few hours however.

Heeseung sucked in a much needed breath and leaned backwards against his side of the closet, his knees pointing out towards you in result.

He was watching you with a curious expression and you glared at him in silence, not sure if you were allowed to talk yet or if it would result in his large hand over your mouth again.

“In and out.” He was whispering it so quietly it almost looked like he mouthed it. You could still barely see him but you could hear the smile in his voice as he joked about your failed plan, the light catching his eyes as he peered down at you. “You good?”

You were nodding but shifting uncomfortably, suddenly remembering how close of a call you’d had now that things were calmed down enough for you to think properly.

“It really had me for a second.” You whispered back to him and shook your head, avoiding his gaze as you looked at the vibrating door. “I shouldn’t have let my guard down like that, it was stupid.”

“Then we’re both stupid.” He was muttering back and you tried not to be too curious why he was being so nice to you despite his harsh leadership within the group. “At least you weren’t alone.”

You were scoffing and shaking your head, his boot scooting forward towards yours in a warning to keep your noises at a low volume. He couldn’t exactly make out your expression considering you were placed lower than him and getting less light on your face but he could practically feel the death stare you were sending his way.

“It’s easier to be alone.” You were countering in a stern tone. “If I’m stupid alone I’m just dead but if I’m stupid in a group then I’m guilty. It’s on my hands.”

“It would’ve been on mine if you’d gotten bit back there.” He was cutting you off and you stopped abruptly, looking at him with parted lips. “But the same thing goes for if I die out here, if I don’t get back to camp, back to my family then that’s on me too. Not trying just because you’re alone isn’t an excuse.”

His tone was heavy now and you felt bad for getting him so frustrated considering how carefree he’d been for most of the day, possibly enjoying not having to direct orders and commands for a few hours. You imagine that if he was able to he would’ve stormed off and left you with his heavy statement.

Instead the two of you sat in the silence of what he had said and listened to the groans only a few inches away from your heads.

You were shifting suddenly and he looked back at you in question when you accidentally bumped against his stomach, not having room to move your arms anywhere.

“Is that why you lead them then?” You tried to keep your voice soft and questioning, not wanting him to mistake you for accusatory.

You didn’t want to fight with him again especially since he had saved your life not too long ago, potentially twice with his quick thinking to get the two of you into the closet.

“It just happened.” He was whispering back and his tone was slightly guarded. “We knew each other before and when.. everything went to shit they came to me one by one.”

“I was scared shitless, I mean sure I’ve chauffeured them around for a few years and I’d handle calling in our takeout orders but now I’m supposed to keep them alive?” He sounded flustered and you listened to him quietly, letting him talk.

For some reason it hadn’t occurred to you to wonder how long they’d known each other. They seemed comfortable and they worked fast and efficiently like they had experience with it but you’d seen similar things in groups who met only at the beginning of all this, being forced to learn how each other works to survive.

You briefly remembered Riki saying something about high school and Jay but you didn’t fully make the connection, maybe you just didn’t want to.

But listening to Heeseung so earnestly talk about the responsibility he carried as the leader and the eldest you felt a wave of understanding, immediately followed by the desire to run far far away from the inevitable care that comes along with a group this tightly knit.

“We left Seoul the first week in Jungwon’s old van.” He was continuing on and when you raised an eyebrow in question he was nodding in realization. “That’s the one who was cleaning the gun, he’s out with Sunoo right now.”

“How many more of you is there?” You hoped he didn’t think you were asking him in an attempt to get information on the group that would assist you in your escape, although you halfway were.

“Just Sunghoon, I don’t think you met him.” He was mumbling and you thought for a second before shaking your head.

That made a total of seven and a wave of fear washed over you at the thought. As of now you were leaving no matter what and as of now they weren’t going to let you just go easy, meaning in some form this was your opponent. Seven men who were capable and seemingly willing to kill you if necessary with the exception of one or two.

Heeseung’s silence made you think he knew what you were thinking and he shifted so he was standing again, no longer leaning against the wall.

This put him even closer to you and you held your breath at the proximity, only letting it out in a moment of shock when his hand was coming up suddenly and touching your face like it had earlier.

You were jumping backwards, at least as far as you could in the tight space and he was shushing you with furrowed eyebrows and a finger to his lips, glancing at the door in worry and then back to you as he continued what he was originally doing.

It took you a few seconds to remember the walker he had stomped on, to remember the blood and rotted skin that had splattered all over you.

Heeseung was gently wiping your face off with his hands, using his sleeves at times for the areas that were particularly covered. You felt your cheeks flush in embarrassment, his large hands stiffening for a second when he realized how awkward this situation was.

He was taking his hands away swiftly and clearing his throat, shuffling backwards again and avoiding looking at you. It was silent for a few minutes and you felt suffocated by it.

“You didn’t lose anybody.” You broke the thick air by speaking again and he flinched before looking down at you. “Since Seoul, did you lose anybody?”

His eyes flashed with something heavy and sad and you imagined he was thinking about his family, slightly curious why he had left without them and what had happened before the other boys showed up alone at his doorstep. Then he was shaking his head to answer your question.

“Then maybe you’re more fit to lead than you thought.”

——

“Was he scared?” Riki’s voice was ringing in your ear again and you groaned softly, leaning back on your pillow and trying your hardest to ignore his constant questions. “I mean, I’ve never seen Heeseung scared. What was it like? Did he cry a little bit?”

After a few more hours had passed in the closet, your suspicion was correct and eventually something passed by that caught a few of the undeads attention. The stragglers had wondered outside the auto shop and the rest immediately followed the noise and movement.

Heeseung and you had waited another half an hour just to be sure before slipping out finally, backs aching from standing straight and rigid for so long.

You’d gotten in the truck with the supplies you found earlier in the day and headed back to the camp, not wanting to risk your luck any further and needing to beat the night as the sun slowly set.

The boys had affectionately greeted the two of you when you arrived, or more so Heeseung as you hovered awkwardly behind and watched them all. You saw a boy you didn’t recognize and figured he was Sunghoon, finally having faces to all the names.

They all carried different expressions of worry and upset and you watched them scan his skin for injuries or scratches, eyes crinkling with relief when they saw he was safe and returned to them. Your heart felt heavy and your stomach turned as you watched the display of care and love towards each other.

You’d caught Jake’s eye for a second and he narrowed his at you, causing you to swiftly give him a nod and slink back into the RV you’d been assigned to.

The same RV that you were now groaning in as you listening to the young boy, the youngest boy as you had found out yesterday, talk your ear off with questions about what it was like to be stuck in a closest with his hyung.

“He cried like a baby.” You were muttering and he laughed softly before shaking his head, able to tell you were lying to him. “I’m serious, my shoulder was soaking wet by the time we got out of there.”

“You know you’re funny when you’re not glaring at me.” He was remarking and you scoffed softly. “The others don’t joke around anymore so I don’t either.”

He sounded younger than he looked when he said it, voice steady like he didn’t even process the weight and sadness of what he was saying. Maybe he’d already started to forget what it was like to be a teenager with no responsibilities.

For a second you zoned out picturing him before the apocalypse, a younger Riki wearing a school uniform and excitedly chatting with the older boys. Maybe he was shy or maybe he was just as talkative and mischievous as he seemed to get the few times you’ve talked to him.

You were abruptly broken out of your daydreams when you heard shouts coming from outside the RV, immediately sitting straight up in the bed and locking eyes with Riki as his widened in fear and concern.

As far as you knew, everybody had turned in for bed. Heeseung didn’t like any one leaving their tents after dark, a heavily suggested curfew seeming to be followed religiously and you couldn’t think of good a reason for the boys to be disobeying this.

You were standing up swiftly and making your way towards the small door, being stopped by a hand wrapped around your arm.

Riki was shaking his head with a panicked expression, pushing you back into the RV. “What are you doing? You can’t go out there.” His voice was urgent and he took a step between you and the door.

His protective expression was making you feel sick and your expression turned stony, moving to push past him but stopping as the door was flung open without either of you touching it.

Sunghoon was stood panting, looking up at you guys from the surface level. He took a step up the RV’s metal steps and glanced behind him with a hard look on his face. Now that the door was open you could hear the shouts louder and also the groans that accompanied them.

“We have to go.” He was rushing out and your mouth parted slightly, looking between him and back to Riki who Sunghoon had been watching since he opened the door.

The younger boy was shaking his head as his shoulders dropped and you felt a wave of upset and guilt for him wash over you, knowing this had been his only home for the past year considering the fact he wasn’t permitted to runs as often as the older boys.

“I’m sorry Rik, there’s too many we don’t have any choice.” Sunghoon was shaking his head sternly but his eyes were soft as he looked at his friend. “You need to pack and we have to go, both of you.”

His eyes moved over to you hesitantly and he lost the affection in his gaze, you didn’t take any offense to it and nodded your head as he turned to rush back to help the others buy some time. You touched the younger boys arm and he jumped slightly before looking down at you with a heavy expression.

“Let’s pack your stuff okay?” You whispered and your unusually gentle tone just made him feel worse, curling in on himself slightly as he nodded and started to grab what little belongings he had scattered around the RV in an attempt to make it feel more like a home.

He was done quickly and you were getting ready to exit the vehicle and join the others when he was grabbing your arm again to stop you.

You almost turned to scold him for wasting time and not letting you go but stopped in your tracks when you realized he was holding a gun out in between your bodies, gesturing for you to take the weapon.

You considered saying no for a few seconds, knowing Heeseung and the other boys wouldn’t be happy with you for accepting and most likely would also scold Riki for giving it to you in the first place. The need to survive overtook this and you took the gun from him, nodding in appreciation.

The second you stepped outside you understood why the only option was to abandon the camp. The dead were pouring in from every side of the forest, their groans mixing together and attracting more and more every minute that passed.

Your eyes were darting around try and spot the other boys but you couldn’t see them in the chaos, feeling frustrated and panicked as you heard Riki’s breathing getting more strained from beside you.

Eventually you spotted Sunoo at the same moment he saw the two of you as well as he was rushing over to you with a serious expression, eyes bouncing around to check if it was safe to stop and talk.

“They’re out past the river.” He was explaining swiftly and you nodded despite having no idea how to get there. It seemed to make sense to the two boys however because they were quickly turning on their heels and disappearing into the woods, looking back a few times to make sure you were following behind them.

Sunoo was running ahead of both of you and your heart clenched watching him take out a few stragglers that were making their way towards the over run camp, his knife effortlessly going into their rotted skulls as he kept rushing through the woods.

Eventually the groans got quieter and you could hear the light splash of a stream, catching sight of the other boys huddled together before the saw you.

“They’re here.” Jake was announcing when he picked his head up and saw the three of you approaching. He stood up and rushed to meet you halfway, checking Sunoo and Riki for injuries before his eyes landed on you.

His gaze trailed down to the gun clenched in your hands and for a second you thought he’d take it from you, demand you leave or maybe try to kill you here and now so they didn’t have another thing to worry about. Instead he took a step closer and briefly scanned over your body, similar to the way he was doing to the others.

“I’m okay.” You breathed out and you weren’t sure why you said it, just wanting to get his concerned look off of your frame as soon as possible. He nodded his head but lingered on your for a second before turning and walking back over to the others.

You followed behind him to see what the boys were surrounding, watching as they all pointed at a crinkled map and spoke in hushed voices. They carried bags on their shoulders and you vaguely noted that Jungwon’s was full of the guns he was always taking such intense care of.

“We’ve been that way man.” Jay was sighing and shaking his head and he pushed Jake’s finger away and moved it further down the map. “From here to here it’s not clear, dead ends or there’s just nothing left.”

“Well we can’t go north.” Sunghoon was countering and you could see a large red X over the area he was referring to. You wonder how long they’d been planning an escape plan with no luck.

You listened to them talk for awhile with a sick feeling in your stomach, wondering if you should help and throw out the idea that was brewing in your mind. On one hand this was your chance to escape considering they had no home to even protect anymore, you could sneak out or hold the gun in your hands to one of their heads until you were far enough away that they wouldn’t follow.

This could be your only opportunity to be back on your own, not owing any sort of debt to a group that was dealing with their own conflict.

Riki was looking back at you suddenly with a worried expression and that thought was immediately out the window as you let out a small sigh, upset at yourself for what you were about to do, before stepping up towards the boys.

“I know a place.” You were rushing out and they all turned to look at you. Heeseung’s eyes were softening at your sudden want to help and you nodded at him. “It’s a few hours south but I stayed there for a few weeks before I kept moving away from that area.”

“You think it’s still there?” Jungwon was asking, his first time speaking to you directly since you’d arrived to their group. His voice wasn’t as harsh as his glare though and he seemed genuinely curious, not suspicious of your motives.

“It was gated.” You shrugged and bent down, bumping into Heeseung’s side and causing him to sway in his crouched position. You were touching the map and felt relieved to see the area you were referring to wasn’t crossed out or circled. “It might not be but it’s worth a shot. Plus we don’t have many options.”

“We?” Heeseung’s voice was soft from beside you and you turned your head to look at him, flushing slightly when you realized how close to each others faces you were.

“Yeah.. we.”

——

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blixssily · 9 months

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"your heart was glass, i dropped it."

| you promised him that you'd be careful and that you wouldn't get hurt. ironically, you end up sacrificing yourself to protect him.

| jing yuan x reader

˓ ꒱ notes and disclaimers: reader is g/n, established relationship, reader doesn't die, might be ooc. let me know if i've missed anything!!

˓ ꒱ authors notes: this was a request from @waaav !! i'm extremely grateful to be able to write this. i hope you like it!

"pleaseeee let me come along with you! i can protect myself, you've seen it before!" you whined, pleading to your boyfriend on accompanying him to his new mission. "i know you can, but this mission is extremely dangerous. i don't want to see you get hurt." he gives you a slight frown. "jing, i will literally keep begging you until you say yes." you sighed as you lean on his desk. "pleaseeee?" you try your luck at using your puppy eyes on him, sometimes they work and sometimes they don't.

this time, they do. "fine fine fine, just please be careful. stop giving me those eyes" he chuckles a little, ruffling your hair a little.

dark clouds gathered at the scene, obstructing your view. "you think it might rain?" you ask, looking around you even though you knew you couldn't see even 5 meters ahead of you. fog was starting to pick up too, making it even harder to navigate around. "let's hope not. you can hold my hand if you get scared though." he teases as you let out a scoff.

you hope he doesn't notice but his light hearted behaviour made you feel calm, like no matter how bad things would get, everything would somehow work out.

he notices your trailing behind a little, he turns back and takes a hold of your hand. "come on, let's go." he flashes you a smile. "we should be near, keep on the look out." he says as his grip on his weapon tightens, ready for any sneak attacks. "got it, general." he rolls his eyes at this, slowly letting go of your wrist so you can draw out your own weapon.

the clouds seem to get darker..

it was cold. unbearably cold.

was it the rain rain?

it was raining.

harsh droplets of rain splashed against jing yuan’s frame, dripping onto the once warm clothes he chose in the morning.

his heart sinks even deeper with every shallow breath you take, at some point he thinks he’s hit rock bottom.

it sinks even deeper.

he’s a general, how could he have miscalculated the situation this badly? his arms around your frail body tightens. he shouldve known, he shouldve done something. he shouldve prevented this, shouldve protected you.

the raindrops feel like minuscule daggers, piercing his skin. guilt overwhelming all of his senses, unable to hear or see anything but you.

his hearing deafening on everything but your hushed breaths. vision blurring on even the ground beneath him, but not you.

not you.

he's only able to comprehend the way your crimson blood is staining his hands, his hands are shaking.

his mind is rushing, replaying the horrid memory in his mind. he prays the sickening melody of your cries could be erased from his and your memory. he can't even fathom how much pain you were in right now.

although he knew no god would listen, he prays, he begs, he pleads.

he could barely register the healers rushing to your side, soldiers surrounding the area, checking for any danger lurking nearby. he almost doesn't let the healers take you away, rushing urgently to get you to somewhere safer while trying to not lose anymore of your blood.

he prays once more, ‘please be okay.”

you’re resting in a hospital bed, plush white sheets covering the numerous wraps of bandages around your body. your lover, sat in a wooden chair beside your bed. silver hair spilled off of his shoulders, messier than ever. his eyes are dry, tear stains evident on his cheeks as he plays with his fingers, scratching and peeling at the skin due to anxiety.

the doctors had left him alone with you after checking your vitals, assuring him you’d make a slow but steady recovery. he sighs once more, thinking about how much he’ll miss your good morning kisses, nagging him that he’s going to be late if he intends on continuing to cuddle you.

he cant look you in the face, even when you’re unconscious. his mind flashing to the exact moment you shoved him out the way to protect him.

his knuckles turn white as he continues to clench his fists, vision blurring once more. the inability to see clearly almost becomes familiar now. he'd hold your hand, grazing over your delicate skin. he assures himself this simple gesture is because he wants to give you even the smallest amount of comfort if it meant you would come back to him quicker.

maybe it was to stop his own hand from shaking.

"jing yuan..?" you manage to mutter out. his head almost snaps at our fast he looks up at you, his eyes glossing over once again. his hands interlocking with yours. "you're back." he sighs, a relieved smile made its way to his lips. your eyes scanned his figure, god he looks horrible.

"how lo—"

"please don't ever leave me alone like that again." his voices cracks, cutting you off. "please, please promise me you'll never do something like that ever again." he pleads, holding your hand tightly as if he could lose you at any second. he feels your cold fingers slowly stroking his hand, trying your best to comfort the man in front of you. "how have you been?" you said, trying your luck at calming him down by thinking of something else. "horrible." he laughs, you're glad it made him smile a little. he releases your hands, leaning further on the hospital bed.

"its been really lonely without you. i've missed your constant nagging, i've missed your morning kisses, i've missed your smile." he manages, he voice starting to break as tears start welling up in his eyes. you sit up from the hospital bed, no matter how much it hurts you to, you try your best not to wince. jing yuan feels your cold hands around his neck, your neck nuzzling into his neck at the same time. "i've missed you too." you whisper, letting a tear slide down your pale cheek. his arms cautiously wrap around your frame, extremely careful not to hurt you. he rests his head completely against yours, he feels as though he can finally relax once more.

his hand catches the tears starting to fall on his face as he unwillingly pulled away. "the doctors said you have to stay here for a few weeks, or until the wound is finally healed up." you don't miss the pout that's made it's way to his lips. "i'll be fine, i promise." your hand caressed his cheek, causing the corners of his lips to turn into a smile. "thank you for protecting me back there, but please don't do that ever again. i mean it." he peers into your eyes, you think if he stares at you for long enough he could see into your soul.

"i love you, i couldn't bear seeing you leave me."

"i love you too jing. just keep a look out next time." you wink at him, reciting his previous words. keep a look out.

he scoffs, "yea yea. get some rest now." he places a kiss on your lips before sitting back down. "i'll be here when you wake up. i promise."

notes and reblogs are heavily appreciated !!

(sorry for this trash fic i suck at angst and i'm not too familiar with jing yuan ;( )

#honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #jing yuan x reader #hsr jing yuan x reader #jing yuan

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alyjojo · 1 year

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PAC - Your True Soulmate 😍

There is a LOT to unpack in this reading, we have 7 Piles to hopefully have a broad spectrum of different layers and personalities. I’m not personally a fan of small pile PACs like 3, it’s harder for me to resonate to when it’s so general, WHY make it easier? Go big or go home! Bahaha. I haven’t started yet, so by the end I’m sure I’ll regret this 😁 I’ve got color cards, charms, my new Creativity Oracle which I am just in love with, the whole shebang to get as many details as possible. Not everything will apply to any one person, so just take what resonates for you and leave the rest for whoever they’re for 🙏

Pile 1: Raindrops 🌧

4 Wands - Knight of Wands - Page of Coins

Regarding: 5 Pentacles

Dreaming Way: Dog rev & Ring

Oracles: Partnership, Push & Flash

Possible Signs: Taurus 💯, heavy fire 🔥 Capricorn/Aquarius with The World, Saturn & Star, Gemini with The Lovers, twice

Zodiac Message: North Node in Taurus

- Have faith in your beliefs by making the right connections.

- Do not worry about the costs of the idea in question.

- Now is the time to use the most direct way and get your ideas going.

Charms:

Bat 🦇 on Flash

Rocking Horse 🐴 on 5 Pentacles

Saturn 🪐 on The World

Diamond 💎 on Salmon Chairs

Key 🔑 on 4 Wands

Color Card: Salmon Chairs 🌷

“Come sit in my chair and feel my love”.

People, places and events are being drawn to you beyond your wildest imagination. Aim higher, for you will draw even greater experiences into your life. It is time to step up to the next level. All “things” are energy and will be drawn to you when you allow your energy to grow. The Salmon Chairs is being brought to you as a gift, to raise your faith and self esteem. It is a gentle and profound change in the way one relates to themselves, and the world. We create the life we feel we deserve. Often we feel we must do something to prepare, yet Salmon Chairs says “Stay in the light of truth, meditate, and relax - if you drink in the light and allow spiritual wealth, you will be surrounded by material wealth.” This is about subtle action, and receiving is an action. You are being told to sit still and receive the bounty that is coming to you. Salmon Chairs can also signify a love relationship in the wings, it’s your choice to receive it. It may also be a present relationship that’s moving to the next level, both spiritually and physically.

This person has very heavy Taurus energy in this reading. Even Salmon Chairs describes the energy of an Empress, which also applies to Taurus, and the North Node described here. This person will have been through some trauma or traumatizing experiences by the time you meet them. With all of the Knight and Page energy, you could meet them young, or they experienced a lot of pain while young, there’s definitely some level of trauma in this person. I kind of expected that sort of personality to come out when I chose the rainy picture, and you also may be able to relate to this person in that way. There is some level of abandonment and loss with them, they may have lost a parent, a friend, a child…can be literal or they can’t access them somehow or they may have abandoned their own child, maybe put one up for adoption or has gone through abortion due to xyz reasons. It happened to them or they did it themselves not fully aware, either can apply here. This can also just describe childhood trauma, but the rocking horse here points out a child specifically. It’s possible they’re taking care of an older child that’s lost a job, or they’re living with a child for that reason. Struggles are where they are when you meet them or a big part of who & where they are & have been.

It’s possible this person is divorced or separated from someone when you meet them. With Dog 🐶 being rev next to Ring 💍 it shows a lack of loyalty, not being able to be trusted or to trust someone else. Someone was not faithful, possibly them. They probably married very young, if married at all, rushed into it, and back out. It’s also possible they’ve done this to you, 2 Cups comes out with The Lovers, and The Star is here, there is definitely a Twin Flame dynamic with this person for someone. If so, they may have lost your trust in the past and it’s valid, but yes they are your soulmate and yes they’re coming back around. With North Node being Taurus, South Node would be Scorpio, whether that actually applies or not, it shows that while young there was more of a death & transformation dynamic to this person, disloyalty, lies, leaving things behind and avoiding the long term, future planning, or solid & stable connections. The path they’re heading towards is Taurus, stability, family, security, the home, long-term. It’s been a long process of maturing/healing for them, or will be.

These are lessons this person has to learn. With Bat 🦇 on Flash, they’ll be tapping into their intuition and may not be able to explain how they know something, but they’ll know. You may move very quickly with this person, moving in together very soon, possibly even getting engaged quickly as well. The Key being on 4 Wands can be a home, it’s like once this person knows what they want, there’s NO stopping them. Diamond 💎 on Salmon Chairs shows them as receiving bounty, money, being very successful, which is something new to them and there could be traumas relating to that too, that are healing over time. They have regrets about the past, whether they did things or had things happen to them, they aren’t totally healed when you come in but they’re heading in the right direction. There is something here about them holding back where their dreams are concerned, you could be helping them “push” towards that too, or you inspire them to take action.

Pile 2: Sunset 🌅

Ace of Pentacles rev - 4 Wands - Ace of Cups

Regarding: The World

Dreaming Way: Clover & Mountain

Oracles: Accomplishment, Secrets & Recycle

Possible Signs: Sagittarius 💯 Pisces, Capricorn & Scorpio

Zodiac Message:

Sun - Sagittarius - 9th House

- The creation of insights to understand spiritual values.

- The gaining of respect for or from the wisdom of long-range thinking or travel.

- Things brought to life or light resulting from the understanding of what is to be shared.

Charms:

Starfish ⭐️ on Wheel of Fortune rev

Sword 🗡 on Ace of Pentacles rev

Axe 🪓 on 7 Cups

Card Guard ❤️ on Knight of Wands

Sagittarius ♐️ on Sagittarius 💯

Rose 🌹 on Recycle

Color Card: Charmaine Chartreuse 🗣

“I never met a person I didn’t like.”

Charmaine Chartreuse suggests you begin finding the good in others. So much is lost when we do not appreciate those around us, for we lose the wonderful gifts of who they are. Appreciating differences will enrich your present situation. This can be a warning that you’ll lose a valued relationship if you do not appreciate what you have. Thinking the best of another person is more powerful than putting them down. Do not attempt to choose sides. Getting others to agree with you that someone else is wrong will also backfire, you may find yourself alone if you are not thoughtful. Wasting energy focusing on something you shouldn’t is also denoted here. Gossip is an indication you’re not focusing on your own life. What we think may not be the truth of the matter. Be aware now of how you speak of another, for the things you say will come back to you at this time. “Doing your own thing” may leave you lonely, and an aloof attitude may lead others to believe you don’t like them, when that isn’t true. If you’re feeling cut-off, consider that others may be waiting for you, and take a cue from Charmaine, being kind is called for from you, even if others are behaving in an inappropriate way.

This person is so clearly Sagittarius in energy that I’m kinda shocked to be honest. I knew that just with the tarot, three Sag cards, then came the zodiac message of the SUN in Sag and in Sag’s natural ruling house no less, and to top it all off, a Sag charm just in case anyone was confused 🤣 OK THEN. A major Sag placement 💯 There are other signs here, definitely more subtle, but this person *embodies* Sag energy in some way. I did notice Pisces here, slightly, but especially in this recycle card, the imagery is a Bird in the Sky and a Fish in the Sea, and I immediately thought of one of my favorite movies of all time, Ever After 🥰, and the line “A bird may love a fish sir, but where would they live?” It could be you that has Pisces placements, for some of you anyway. If not those specific signs, then the dynamic of one person initially doesn’t put many boundaries or standards in the first place, and the other person doesn’t know how to respect them even if there were, makes light of them or turns it into a joke. Initially.

This person pisses you off. You’ve wasted a lot of time on them, or you feel like you have. If they’ve tried to get at you before, you could feel they have, because forget it. In typical (not all) Sagittarian fashion, this is a typical (not all) “fkboy/girl” personality. They’re definitely a wanderer, they’ve traveled around a lot with whatever it is they do, maybe with their family. They could be foreign to you, a different skin color, nationality, speak a different language, something about them could be in stark contrast to whatever you are, which is something Sagittarius and the 9th rules. Culture! Long distances. Foreign contacts. If they’re not a Sag they could just be different. There is a feeling of freedom with this person, they won’t be tied down, no one has managed to…until you, and it won’t be easy. Or hasn’t been. One way you’ll know who this is, you’ve had to let them go before, or you did because you simply weren’t interested in all this.

Eight of Cups rev shows them making a return to your life, could be because they’ve lost a job, a home, an opportunity of some kind that’s out of their control (or destined). Wheel of Fortune rev can show bad luck, but they’ve got Clover here showing that’s not a regular thing and may be a destined/karmic event of some kind. Probably to get to you! Whatever *your* energy is, you don’t take this person at all seriously, they’re like a thorn in your side and you don’t trust them as far as you could throw them. Justifiably. But the passion is LIT 🔥 and the emotions are there, you want this person to BE trustworthy. This whole reading shows it takes effort, they’re a bit of a “project” emotionally and love is not really their forte, but they are your soulmate. They may have never even really been in love before you, or at least not in any similar sort of way. Love as a whole is not their first language.

Axe on 7 Cups is cutting off all of these other options they may have, ex’s that are “friends” or former flirty options, FWB’s, that sort of thing. The cute little Card Soldier on Knight of Wands is you having to be like absolutely not, you’re setting boundaries, and you’re not about to let this person near you period on some player bs. It turns them on, they like your boundaries, they aren’t threatened by your standards, it’s like a challenge to them & they know you’re right. Which is appealing, no? This person is going to change for you, or grow up more like. Maybe not the first time you interact with them, with there being an energy of “coming back”, but whenever they do, they’re ready for you to set your terms so they can follow along. It seems like they will only want you.

With Clover & Mountain this person could be pretty earthy and practical along with all of their natural luck, they are very clever at getting over or through issues that seem insurmountable, nothing seems to get them down or knock them out for too long, they’re a “winner” type of personality. Accomplishment reinforces that message, they could have several. Secrets feels more like past things they don’t want to talk about, not necessarily secrets *from* you. They’re just not interested in past stuff, they let it go so you should too, to them. Rose 🌹 on Recycle is them having made mistakes, broken hearts, losing and winning and learning their lessons. Starfish ⭐️ shows regeneration on a situation or relationship gone sour, it will get better. GREEN dominates the reading visually, it’s a color of grounding & practicality, and there are many plants being shown which all show growth. They’ve made mistakes, they’re learning or have learned, and will be ready for you when the right time comes.

Pile 3: Classic 🤓

Page of Cups - 8 Cups - 8 Swords

Regarding: Justice

Dreaming Way: Fish & Mountain

Oracles: Timing, Reflection, Time

Possible Signs: Virgo, Cancer & Pisces likely, Leo & Capricorn possibly

Zodiac Message:

Jupiter - Cancer - 9th House

- Learn or teach your feelings as if it or they came from God.

- Be positive about attitudes from the past about the philosophies and laws involved.

- Grow and expand, use your intuition and do it in a big way.

Charms:

Dead Tree 🍂 on Demon Red Rainbow

Peace ☮️ on Justice

Stallion 🐎 on Mountain

Peridot 💚 on The High Priestess

Color Card: Demon Red Rainbow 👹

“The greatest adversary is the one living inside of me.”

If the Demon Red Rainbow speaks to you, it is an indication that you are starting to (or will) forge ahead on the path you have chosen. You are correct in thinking that this path is important. Demon Red Rainbow denotes miraculous changes which lay ahead but not without your dogged determination. If you are facing a hill that appears insurmountable, this card reminds us that most true adversaries are the ones inside of us. Life always turns for the better when we face our demons.

You are not to abandon your focus no matter what comes up. The direct route may be the best way to the other side of your fear. There is a crucial lesson here for us all. Know that Spirit always provides an ally when we face the Demon Red Rainbow. It will be clear to you who they are. You need not face anything alone. Spirit has chosen a very powerful lesson for you so that you may teach others what you have learned. A gift of this kind is never given without our ability to use it.

I was afraid of this one coming out, and with the classic image too ha, surprise! We follow no preconceived stereotype here, this person is the mess, at least out of the three done so far. And any of you dealing with them are a saint. Or maybe a Cancer, that’s the only sign that might put up with it 🤦‍♀️ No offense, it’s saintly in its’ sacrifice. For some of you, this person is locked up, in jail, for who knows how long? You might. For others, this person is a train wreck you’ve had to separate yourself from. Demon Red Rainbow comes out to show they are their own worst enemy, and the “dead” tree charm shows that so long as they’re standing in their own way, there can’t and won’t be any growth in this person. Mountain and Horse shows them as a wild personality, one that can’t be tamed or restrained, and they create their own Mountains, dig their own holes, which they later fall into and need help escaping. Presumably, from you. Similarly, the Fish next to this Mountain shows an addictive personality or someone who doesn’t know when to stop, they’re excessive with everything they do, however that applies to them.

The thing that will change this person, eventually, is probably spiritual in nature, but I don’t think you’ll have anything to do with this. And while this IS your soulmate, that’s what this reading is, this is the kind of personality that myself and literally any other tarot reader would tell you to just keep moving away from. There are other soulmates. Your personality and vibe is heavily that of a “fixer”, and these signs could even be your signs more than theirs. It honestly feels like a reading that is more “I see you & you are heard” but this person is a lot to deal with…

You cannot miss anything that is for you. Right now you are not speaking to that person and Justice is here showing it’s the right thing. They may have asked you to wait for them, or you’ve done this to them, and there is no energy of that happening. There is no progress, no movement, it’s very difficult and may last a very long time. Again for someone there’s an energy of actual prison time being done and if that’s the case, you’re not expected to wait. They did the crime, they serve the time, go live your life 🙏 ALL of their oracles are about time. And more time, and more time. The longer the two of you spend apart, the more they have to look at themselves in the mirror, reflect, and realize where they went wrong, how they need to change, all of the could’ve, should’ve, and would’ve energies that you need them to see.

They’re conflicted because there’s no communication. You’re conflicted over this same reason. Neither of you wants to be alone, but neither of you can grow how you need to without this separation. There is definitely a pull here, but the love is only a Page, it’s not the whole thing that you deserve. In time, they will heal, and change, and calm down. Mature. Grow up. In time they may be perfect for you, and this could definitely be a Twin Flame 🔥 sort of connection for those waiting around on the runner to stop running. Peace ☮️ on Justice is “someday”. 5 Wands with Justice is right now. When it comes to Twins I’m a fan of saying don’t wait, they’re a waste of time. It’s a cute dream, and a big maybe, but you’ve only got one life, many possible soulmates, and there’s always the chance of meeting someone brand new ❤️ As much as this person matches your heart & energy, only you match theirs too, it’s their loss. If you’ve picked another pile, please pay close attention to that one as well, from this point forward I’m calling this the “stagnant Twin pile”. Whoever you had in mind, whoever you know fits the bill. It’s a maybe, someday, if you still want it. IF. Yes they will change. With time. Time. Time. More time. Good grief. Lot of time. But so will you. How it stands right now, it’s like loving a wolf that means to bite your face off. You have to worry about you 💯 I hate that there’s a dud for an option, but some must need to see it, or it wouldn’t have come out.

Pile 4: Doorway 🚪

The High Priestess - Page of Wands - 9 Cups

Regarding: 4 Swords

Dreaming Way: Dog, Clouds, Snake

Oracles: Flash, Wish Granted, Truth

Possible Signs: Leo 💯 Sagittarius, Libra, Capricorn, possibly Pisces with 9 Cups and all of this moon energy, the dreamy vibe is strong

Zodiac Message:

Jupiter - Leo - 5th House

- Learn or teach leadership with the trust of a child.

- Be positive about the creativeness of fun, romance, and making art.

- Grow and expand, do what you want to, and do it dramatically.

Charms:

Fractal Moon 🌙 on Electric Blue Moon

Angel 😇 on Page of Wands

Leaf 🍁 on Truth

Pearl of Wisdom 🦪 on Ace of Swords

Sailboat ⛵️ on 6 Swords

Color Card: Electric Blue Moon 🌚:

“If I don’t take care of it, it’ll never happen.”

It is not time to force an issue. If something feels important to you, you may be jumping the gun. If you are impatient, you may block something wonderful from coming to you. Now is not the time for a rushed decision, even if you think you’ve given something “plenty” of time, give it more. You have made your needs known to Spirit, now leave it alone. If you try to force a situation, you may bind yourself to something you could come to know as a hinderance. Allow right action to happen in its own time.

Though Leo is the most obvious here, even with the oracles, it’s definitely muddied with water energy. Both 💯 The Moon is as magnified as The Sun. Actually more so, The Sun is reversed. This could be literally Leo with heavy 8th/12th House placements, especially The Sun, one that doesn’t “shine” so brightly because they’re very daydreamy and kind of lost in another plane, or very spiritual. Or have heavy watery placements. It may not be Leo at all and that sign is being shown as The Sun, this is this person’s identity & who they are. Leo shows up with the 5th House, it’s natural ruling house, showing this person as FUN, artistic, very creative, working with children possibly, regardless of sign. They’re not dumb, nor misguided, and they don’t need someone looking down on them. Who they’re meant to be IS a dreamer, a teacher, a spiritualist, possibly an artist, someone in the more creative fields. With Dog, Clouds, and Snake in that order, who they are is a very loyal, giving, loving, friend, a ride or die kind of person, they don’t see the dangers in other people, the “snakes”, and in this way their head is in the clouds. That’s where the Pisces energy is stemming from strongly, whether they actually have that or not, they are an idealist above anything else, but they’re not lost to reality either and with Ace of Swords are actually quite intelligent. Just not suspicious? They’ll protect someone else before themselves 💯 And because of that, are often taken advantage of, and it does not and will not change them.

This person has big dreams they don’t act on, and amazing abilities of manifestation that they don’t use. Not yet. They have many options and they know it, but they’re more of an indecisive type and aren’t in any rush with Temperance. This is a “create the vision in your head” sort of person, and while Page & Knight of Wands are both here, they do take action, it’s not until their vision is complete. Definitely an artist/creative mentality. With 4 Swords & The High Priestess, either you don’t yet know this person or you do but you don’t really talk to them. With 5th House being highlighted and a lot of this younger energy, 9 Cups, it’s possible this is a single parent or someone that has children already. Or that’s their job, maybe something they definitely want. 10 Pentacles being reversed here shows they are not a conservative sort of person, they don’t want traditional…anything. Marriage. Jobs. Life. It’s not their cup of tea 🍵 They could have already been there done that, and are divorced, or come from divorced parents that make them not interested.

That doesn’t mean they’re opposed to love, they’re just not someone that’s locked in a box and expected to stay there, they like to move around and explore their endless options. Again, a dreamer. They’re very excitable, probably love to travel, and their dreams are more important to them than any “relationship” though that isn’t to be mean at all, I get no “mean” vibes from this person, they would probably encourage everyone to do the same. You want to go to Europe? Go! They have an encouraging & supportive energy, a hype person, a loyal friend 💖 The only thing that holds them back is a lack of confidence, and putting in the work necessary to achieve whatever their dream is. I don’t get they’re afraid of work or don’t work, I think their dreams change before they get there, and they switch tracks a lot. Or talk themselves out of things. It could be other people around them put them down or talk them out of things too, which is difficult for a loyal person like this, they may be losing opportunities or sitting on them due to negative people with no creative vision telling them they “can’t” when they absolutely can. The Boat on 6 Swords can show travel as part of their dreams or this may be how you know/meet them, they may travel or move unexpectedly, more than once even with 2 Pentacles, they don’t tend to stay put, and again 10 Pentacles is rev, they’re not the type to even want to. There’s always more to see & do.

The Fractal Moon on Electric Blue Moon shows something is in motion where their dreams are concerned, maybe meeting you is part of that, but there are a lot of options and details involved in what they’re doing, many layers, as also shown by 7 Cups. They’re waiting for something, patiently. Leaf on Truth and Pearl of Wisdom on Ace of Swords are very similar, they can dream a dream and get lost in the practicalities or reality of taking action, that may be where they’re stuck right now, but both of these charms are encouraging, they’re getting somewhere with what they’re doing. Growing & learning 💯 Flash and Wish Granted are also very encouraging, they will be inspired or get their answers, and though things may seem like they take TIME, once it’s moving it’s like lightning. Stop. Stop. Wait. BANG, and they’re there, they’ve done it, and no one was even paying attention. That’s a Uranian/Aquarian quality which is here lightly, which would support a Leo rising, or Uranus may be a strong placement, or conjunct something strong in your own chart. They will surprise you.

Pile 5: Hands 🙌🏽

5 Cups - The Emperor - The Empress

Regarding: The Hierophant

Dreaming Way: Coffin, Bear, Scythe

Oracles: Innovation, Obstacles, Details

Possible Signs: Aries & Scorpio 💯 Leo, Libra, Virgo, Taurus & Pisces

Zodiac Message:

Mercury - Aries - 10th House

- The awareness of energies to meet the challenges of your destiny.

- Many thoughts about or from your desires regarding where you’re going.

- Many words resulting from the honesty and strengths of your career.

Charms:

Angel 😇 on Bahana Beige

Black Cross ✝️ on The Hierophant

Sword 🗡 The Emperor

Virgo ♍️ on The Empress

Starfish ⭐️ on 10th House

White Heart 🤍 on Knight of Cups

Axe 🪓 on The Hermit

Color Card: Bahana Beige 🎨

“I quietly listen, allowing you to color your own palate.”

If you are drawn to Bahana Beige, it is time to take an impartial look at your situation and drop the excuses. Your answers will come when you remain still. Take no action at this time. The action of Bahana Beige is to listen. Now is the time to consider the other side, because there may be some valuable insights in another point of view. This technique can help produce great strides in communication in your relationships. When we are fixed on a position (or opinion), we are not in the neutral space of Bahana Beige.

This is an opportunity to see who you are in a relationship. Ask yourself, “How does my present attitude or position serve me?” When you answer this question, you will begin to gain more insight into choosing what is for the highest good in any situation. Another way to position a question is in thinking from the other person’s point of view. Is there another way to see this situation? What do you see now?

This is a very difficult personality, but definitely worthwhile. They are very serious, intense even, in their seriousness, and STUBBORN. This by far is the broadest spectrum of signs and personalities, but Mars dominates, they are clearly the hardest workers, the strictly disciplined, the action takers 💯 This is a person who is either divorced when you meet them, married but on their way to divorce, or they’ve had pain in their life due to parental figures, possible divorce in that sense as well. The Emperor is highlighted in their own personality, and as someone demanding, dominating & commanding that’s *over* them in some way and has since been cut off. Probably a father figure. For some this is a job, not parents, and a boss that’s unfairly and suddenly cut them off or out. This person knows struggle and the need to stand up to some dominating person, whether at home or in career, and in some sense they also wear a mask of intimidating & dominating traits. A job is being highlighted as having some level of regeneration to it, with Starfish ⭐️ on 10th House, they could be shifting careers or someone that does this more than once, some of you could meet them at work, but career has been a struggle in its own way no matter what these Emperor/Empress energies are otherwise. Previous failures have left a bitter taste in their mouth.

But that is not who they are inside. They are disappointed by the hand life has dealt them, and they feel a sense of competition everywhere they go, again heavy Mars energy here. They’ve lost a few of those “competitions” and may have a large ego that kinda kicks them in the butt if they’re not careful. They tend to shift blame outward and skirt any accountability, even within reason. The most difficult thing about this person is the negativity in their perception. They do not compromise. Their way or the highway. Black Cross on The Hierophant, they’re probably an atheist, and could have very negative views on any number of things. Certain companies, marriage as a whole, spirituality, specific ways of doing things that are not in line with *their* beliefs…even if that is simply “how to cut an onion”, and it’s wrong but good luck telling them that. They will willingly DIE on a pretty stupid hill, even if they’re wrong. Fixed energy 💯 A lot of needless arguments accompany this person and it just depends on your own personality & story what those are. Part of them genuinely likes to fight. Good luck with that 😆🤦‍♀️

Underneath this person’s “tough” exterior is a big emotional baby, to put it bluntly. Not very “mature”, with ick emotions that accompany very negative beliefs and perceptions, they tend to overdramatize and their emotions spill out like a flood when they’re upset. But, as anger, not sadness. Again…Mars. This can really be any sign with heavy Mars energy tbh, that’s what I’m getting here. The positive side to that is when they’re sad, happy, angry, upset, they can’t hide it so there’s no question as to where others stand with them. 100% not a fake person, they don’t just slap on a smile because someone says so or expects one, no.

They’ve lost many people in their lives and are pretty closed off and Hermit-like in nature. They’ve experienced disappointments in all areas of life, work, love, family, friends, you name it & they’ve probably experienced it. Their perceptions of things are so negative because of this, and that’s something perhaps you will help to change. Bahana Beige shows Spirit working in their favor the most when they try to remain impartial. It’s like not even expecting a total change, just be open, that’s all that’s asked of them & they’re blessed. They get way too caught up in obstacles and details, their negative thinking tends to mess up their plans, not anything being actually “against them”. They envision roadblocks where there are none, and have very little if any faith. There is a lot of past pain in this person, and they’re also very nostalgic about happy times, friends, possibly ex lovers, childhood memories, they may romanticize how things were vs seeing the reality of the situations or how things have changed, maybe they just miss the old days in some way. It’s a process, but they may talk about these things at random, and those things are often on their mind. At heart, this person is deeply romantic and would like the fairy tale to exist how it should, it just hasn’t yet and they’re bitter. Their intentions are noble and pure, and they’ve got a heart of gold for the right person. Healing is a top priority for them. Or it needs to be.

Deep down, this person wants marriage, children, the perfect picture of how things “should be”, even down to the 1950’s style cards I’m using for this pile, that matches up perfectly. They see a picket fence and wonder why they don’t have the right person to fit this image. I don’t get a sense of illusions too much though, they just want their soulmate, but may be a bit of a perfectionist about ideals, they could need a dose of realism in that sense. It’s not 1950 so…within reason. For some, they may be very difficult to see as long term because they assume everything will end up like the past, so they push it away, and you’ll have to fight back in that sense, because you’re different. Once they find that right person for them, they’re very conservative, truthful, loving, romantic even, this is someone that expects to be courted or will court you “the right way”, very passionate and eager for love, they aren’t a game player and if/when they do love you this is one that lasts forever 🙏

Pile 6: Maze

6 Wands - Knight of Pentacles - 4 Wands

Regarding: Ace of Cups

Dreaming Way: Fox & Tree

Oracles: Intuition, Distractions, Success

Possible Signs: Aries, Gemini & Pisces, possible Taurus with Venus, 2nd House & Hierophant, but I’m definitely getting its more the behavior than actual signs with this one

Zodiac Message:

Venus - Aries - 2nd House

- Cherish your willpower patiently.

- Enjoy what you think you know about what you want.

- Charm, art, and beauty are the way to do it your own way and get what you need.

Charms:

Red Moon 🌙& Bad & Boujee 😈 on Gold Coins

Child 👦🏻 on 10 Cups

Black Clover 🍀 on Distractions

Rose 🌹 on 6 Wands

Bunny 🐰 on 4 Wands

Bicycle 🚲 on Aries

Dolphins 🐬 on 6 Swords

Telephone ☎️ on Page of Wands

Color Card: Gold Coins 💰

“I only seek to give you what you ask for.”

Gold Coins gently asks you to look at your relationship with money. Money doesn’t care where it goes. It naturally goes toward appreciation and gratitude. What we do with our own abundance makes the difference. Are you blaming something on money? Are you running from it? Be wary of using your financial situation as an excuse to avoid doing something you love to do. Are you questioning a relationship or career that is hitting a rocky time? It may be time to look for the good in it. Remember there are two sides to every coin. What you desire may currently be manifesting. Great riches are waiting for you to use them. You can ask the universe for riches or poverty, the universe doesn’t care, only you can change your inner experience. “Things” only hold value when we think they do. If there were no money, it didn’t exist, what else would you do? What else would you focus on?

Two things are possible with this person. One, they may be already married or otherwise involved when you meet them. Possibly have children. Two, if they’re not, then they definitely want a marriage & children. This is almost a wolf in sheep’s clothing, especially with Fox here, and it’s not so much in a mean, conniving sort of way, unless they had a whole other family before you…possible. They may play this role to someone else, for you. But for most it’s in a financial way. They are very romantic, clever, charming, madly in love with sweeping someone off of their feet, and they do put in a lot of effort to keep their relationships happy, passionate, and stable. But when it comes to money, this person is almost dangerous in how reckless they can be. Venus is in detriment in Aries, and being 2nd House is telling as well. It’s not a soft & loving kind of placement, it’s notorious for independence and selfishness, in this case when it comes to personal finances and the things they own. Like a home, which is highlighted with 4 Wands here.

Gold Coins highlights the relationship with money, this is a major downfall to this person. Red Moon and the Bad & Boujee bottle, along with the Black Clover 🍀 on Distractions all show stupid impulses, “standards”, possible major issues with money. This could be a gambling problem, definitely a spending problem whether it’s shoes, cars, hair products, I don’t know the what except that it’s excessive and can cause major problems in their life. Probably already has. Fox with Tree can show them being financially bamboozled by a clever salesman type, or they could be that to YOU, putting their health at risk even, or things like insurance, 401k, long term stability that they don’t consider due to the need for convenience, impatience, or satisfaction right NOW. It is only money they are this way with. That I can see. Having Fox here, they will not be open and up front about these issues but will skirt them at every opportunity. Taking accountability means change, which they don’t intend to do.

Knight of Pentacles does show them to be a hardworking person. Not rich, not poor, they earn everything they have. They could be a sucker for a quick scheme, and if that’s the case it’s literally never worked out for them, so idk what the temptation even is there. For a very slight few, it’s possible the ex was this way and took them for everything they had, or they lost everything in a separation. If so, even kids. There’s a possibility of their children living far away from them as well and only really communicating by telephone. They’re the type to not pay child support, cash under the table, scheme scheme scheme. Only take that if it resonates, it’s for those leaving a family, and for that story that’s exactly what they’ll do…but you get the repercussions of all that. If you do not yet know this person, they’re definitely not the type to initiate, you’ll have to show interest, Phone on Page of Wands shows them waiting not initiating, they’re not the type for it. Or the connection starts as messages, not in person.

If not a family then this person may have once lived or traveled somewhere by the sea, with Dolphins on 6 Swords, and they keep in contacts with the friends from wherever they once were, or maybe go back and visit every so often. Could be where the money goes, in part. Distractions has the Black Clover on it and feels more like destructive hobbies that cost a lot of money, keeps them from getting ahead, and blocks success that’s available for them and ready for the taking. If you two have children together, they are a very loving parent. While present. If they have kids far away, they just don’t have them and can’t see a way out of that situation. This is a person that has overcome many difficulties and continues growing, they’re not forever stuck, but they do take a very long time. Or their job is one that isn’t the greatest, but it’s reliable, and saving up for something significant takes a very long time, even longer because there’s always some nonsense or excuse as to why money is missing. They’re responsible with your heart, not so much your wallet. There is a part of them that comes out as a Fox, they manipulate when they feel there is no other way…and they are selfish when it comes to doing what they want and how…just be mindful of that 🙏

I don’t get the best or worst vibes from this person, they just need someone that’s on top of everything to flat out be like “no” when it’s necessary, them leading the troops probably isn’t the wisest idea. But they are supportive, very loving, loyal in love at least so far as I can tell. Money is the issue. Some of them just come with money issues, child support, debt, bad credit, things like that. And they have the potential for success, plenty of money, they just also have the potential to blow it all in one day too. They like fancy things, and love to spend spend spend. It’s part of the deal with them. They could have a gifts love language. You must be the sort of person that’s on top of things to attract someone like this. Or you’ll need to be, they’re a clever one.

Pile 7: New Life 🌱

Page of Cups - The Star - 9 Wands rev & 8 Wands

Regarding: Knight of Cups

Dreaming Way: Book, Tree, Mountain

Oracles: Nurture, Collaboration, Dream

Possible Signs: Pisces, Taurus, Virgo, Sagittarius & Aquarius, possibly Scorpio with Death & Topaz

Zodiac Message:

Uranus - Taurus - 7th House

- An unusual example of resources to maintain balance.

- A different way of looking at the practicality of cooperation.

- An unexpected change resulting from the productivity of your partner.

Charms:

Taurus ♉️ on Topaz

Dancer 💃 on Collaboration

Moulin Rouge 💋 and Bad & Boujee 😈 on Knight of Wands

Cupid 💘 on Temperance

Color Card: Topaz 💛

“If I seek peace, I must embrace my fears.”

Topaz speaks: “To be enlightened is to realize that to gain peace, fear in the heart must be faced.” If Topaz has come to you, he is telling you that it is time to stop talking about what you intend on doing. You must just do it. Things happen for us when we take action, which is the only way to break through what is holding us back. The change that is called for here is surrender, which is an action in itself. No great tasks were ever achieved easily. Remember we do a lot to avoid what we feel will hurt us; you must understand that the pain will recede if you face your fears, allowing you to walk through to the other side. Topaz whispers “Pray for guidance and you will be assisted.” Do not despair, for if Topaz has come to you, relief awaits. By facing your fears, peace and enlightenment will be your reward. That is the gift. All you need to do is ask.

This is a very loving person, romantic, soft, dreamy, emotional, and very partnership oriented, they could be the sort of person that has only ever worked within partnerships, whether that’s love, friendships, family, they’re a “group-minded” and close-knit kind of person with 7th House highlighted. They could have a dominant 7th, possibly with the Sun or Moon there. Taurus also is a very domestic and family oriented sign, whether it actually applies to their chart or not, they are your family person. Nurture shows a picture of a Native woman with a baby on her back, Collaboration shows a pair of people, 10 Cups and 10 Pentacles are here showing groups of very close knit people make them happiest. The group is everything, family is everything, and they are a nurturing & giving type of personality, regardless of gender. Possibly a parent already, if so it’s a defining factor in who they are, or that’s definitely something they want later on.

This person has been through some difficult times in regards to some level of toxicity whether at work or in their family. Could be both. Moulin Rouge and Bad & Boujee show those being along a sexual or provocative nature, there’s been Death & major transformations in themselves regarding this, and it could be any number of things, some very traumatizing. Hugs to them. They may not have been an angel at one time, either playing the field, working in toxic/sensual types of conditions, possible addictions, but have learned and sacrificed for the family, children, there is an energy of sacrifice here which would match all of the Pisces energy coming through, whether it literally applies to signs or not. This may be someone else entirely in their environment or past that had to go. Death is attached to all of these things, it’s in the past.

This person has a lot of healing to do, but they’re happy to do it, a more optimistic and happy personality for sure even with the struggles they’ve been through. They are mature in their energy with Temperance, and The Sun outshines any Moon confusion they may have once had, this is someone aware of their manifestations, where they’ve been, what they want, and where they’re going. All with a very happy energy with this Sun, and a romantic & dreamy outlook on life in general with Knight of Cups. Cupid on Temperance shows them as mature, patient, and very accepting or tolerant of the differences in people, they don’t seem to mind yours if you don’t mind theirs. A very peaceful energy, and not one to rush into things, which if Taurus applies, they rush for no one ever 😆

Taurus being on Topaz could show a person with both Taurus and Scorpio qualities, or possible oppositions like this in their chart that equal a balance in this person’s personality. They’re more patient, fluid, go with the flow, and less stubborn. They may have been hurt in the past, love wise, and you could surprise them because they weren’t looking when you found them, or they didn’t know what they wanted until they found you. It’s a very sweet energy with them.

With Book, Tree, and Mountain, they could be a book worm or an avid learner of all of the things, and what’s highlighted is health obstacles they may have had to face, however that may apply. Self help books, meditations, yoga, anger management or any number of peaceful mind/body tactics may be something they’re into. Tree also pertains to the environment, this could be a very environmentally conscious person, a vegan or vegetarian, a compost creating gardener type, something along those lines. Mountain describes obstacles they’ve faced or are currently dealing with, some may have a long term illness of some kind or some sort of routine to deal with a particular ailment of theirs, like physical therapy, or holistic medicine for example. That won’t apply everywhere, or in any specific way for the collective, just take it how it resonates for you.

Dancer 💃 is on Collaboration, that could be some way you know them, they like to dance or you do this together, maybe take classes, or they have. It’s highlighted with their creativity in a very fun way, and this person seems most focused on the fun of situations, especially in groups of people. The more the merrier!

#pick a card #PAC #soulmate #pick a pile #your true soulmate #zodiac sign #astrology #astroblr #march 2023

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