#and this in turn is why in the present-time of the novel he's so willing to lean into the indignity of mo xuanyu

[whetstonefires]

Hey here's an angle on the Jiang family dynamic and its impact on Wei Wuxian that I haven't seen discussed:

Wei Wuxian grew up seeing Jiang Yanli routinely having her agency cut off and denied in both large (betrothal) and small ways. That were largely tied up in her gender, sure, but this was also a family containing Yu Ziyuan. A daughter in this household had every chance of having her gender treated as of secondary importance.

She just had to earn it.

The way Jiang Yanli was hemmed in and her potential as an independent actor dismissed was at least as strongly correlated with her failure to be a powerful sword cultivator.

So Wei Wuxian's total refusal to let anyone know that he'd lost access to his cultivation and his violent reactivity against being diminished or condescended to during his Sunshot-to-death period, when before he was pretty immune to being looked down on, could have a lot to do with having been presented with this clearly labeled diagram of how your personhood gets stripped away when you are, by the standards of your society, disabled.

#hoc est meum #like jiang cheng's desire to die about it also has this #but he had some specific shame issues #and the realistic assessment that rebuilding his sect and getting revenge was now impractical #and his problem was never really feeling like his place in the world was actually going to be taken #just like he failed to deserve it #whereas wwx had his secrets to keep but even after he'd lived up to most of his obligations #during this period #and i think it's what he's so mad at himself about looking back #during the Empathy flashback #that he valued his pride and clinging to his status when it turned out #it did jack-all to help and he got everyone killed #(Present-Day wwx is not an objective source on himself lmao) #and this in turn is why in the present-time of the novel he's so willing to lean into the indignity of mo xuanyu #he now has nothing to lose and it's liberating #but during his march-toward-death era having any more of his self-respect and conceptual status stripped away was agony #because it felt like an unpersoning #and some of the disability angles around this come up in fandom sometimes but #the fact that he internalized the idea that not having this specific type of power means you lose your personal freedom looking at jyl #doesn't really #and i think she Very Much informed his relationship to #power gender disability and #marriage #mdzs #wei wuxian #jiang yanli

[hina-has-no-life]

Mori Ogai and Regret

Mori in the BSD Manga and Light Novels prides himself in always finding the optimal solution, in pushing his own feelings aside to accomplish the optimal goal for any given situation.

He is a man of logic and carefully wielded cruelty.

We see countless examples of the way he handles things and in the end achieves the best possible solution to his problems.

Killing the old Boss and having Dazai as his witness

Dazai pointing out that he himself is a possible danger to the initial plan

Chuuya remaining a loyal part of the Port Mafia

Driving Dazai away

Getting the Skilled Buisness Permit

The Great War and Yosano

There were all instances where we saw Mori put aside his own emotions and morality to achieve a greater goal. He wielded cruelty, facts and logic as weapons to achieve the in his mind most logical and optimal solution.

But Mori is human. And Humans can not completely disregard and turn off their emotions, no matter how hard they try.

Mori himself says that he has no regrets during the Guild Arc.

But does this like the face of a man void of regrets?

Or this?

In this instance Dazai is choosing the words that will invoke the feeling of Regret in Mori to push him towards choosing a truce with the ADA.

Dazai is aware that Mori has regrets.

But so is Hirotsu.

His inclusion in any conversations Dazai and Mori have regarding the old Boss tells us, as the reader, that Hirotsu knows the full picture.

He isn't just aware that Mori killed the old Boss like other people, but also of Mori's goal from that act.

Hirotsu even goes as far as to tell Mori that Dazai understands why Mori did what he did, implies that Dazai would also understand other actions Mori takes to reach the optimal solution.

But this also shows us something different.

Mori needs reminders.

After Mori killed the old PM Boss Dazai became a constant reminder of why he did what he did. It was inevitable that Dazai would forever remind Mori of the act itself and the initial reasoning behind it, since Dazai was present and Dazai helped him plan it.

Once Dazai left the Mafia Hirotsu transformed into a reminder of it all. In some way Kouyou is also a reminder of what he did and why he did it.

But why these two?

They were there during the reign of the old Boss.

But how does Mori remember the regrets of another part of his past? How does he remind himself of a time where he miscalculated, where he should have taken the emotions of the people he regarded as tools into account?

How is Mori reminded of the mistakes and regrets of the Great War, of Yosano?

Elise.

Elise is Mori's ability, Vita Sexualis. A humanoid puppet to control as he wishes.

But also to shape as he wishes.

During the Great War Elise is nothing more than a robotic being wearing a human skin, void of emotions, thoughts and autonomy.

Mori has always made Elise take the form of a younger girl.

While it is speculated in the fandom that this could be linked to his Lolicon, I believe otherwise.

Elise is for one inspired by the Novel The Dancing Girl from the real life author. But since she is Mori's ability in BSD she will be influenced by his subconcious.

Elise shows us that Mori, even in his twenties, wanted an apprentice. He wanted to impart his knowledge on someone else but until he found Yosano he did not have someone to do this with.

(Im Beast Elise takes the form of a women. Mori already has children to take care of and bestow his knowledge upton, he doesn't need her to fill thie role. But he does need another caretaker, so that is what Elise becomes)

Yosano herself says in the Manga that she respected Mori as a doctor.

Choosing a young and mallable girl as his apprentice did make her easier to manipulate, to create an army that can not die. But young people are also sponges for knowledge.

And here we come to his regret.

Mori does regret how he handled the situation with Yosano.

He liked that strong willed and opinionated young girl he drafted, and he broke her.

We do not see much of Elise until Dark Era, so we can not tell how long it took for Elise to display Yosanos personality after Yosano was redcued by Fukuzawa and Ranpo.

In this official Art we see Yosanos shadow in Elise, a clear indication of teh fact that Mori's impression of Yosano was bleeding into Elise. But we also see her still wearing pigtails.

Her hair and general clothing tells us that this is between loosing Yosano and Dark Era. With time, Elise will resemble Yosano more.

(The bow resembles the butterfly hairpin of Yosano.)

In this scene Mori tries to convince Elise to try on a new dress.

She refuses and clearly displays Yosano's personality in thsi interaction. From the way Mori handles it this isn't knew.

Their dynamic had already shifted into something more like Yosano and Mori instead of the Ability and Mori.

But her hair is different from the last picture.

Elise now has open and wavy hair. Does this remind you of someone?

(For a boy Dazai has always worn his hair longer than traditional seen as boyish, which in turn let's his ends curl and wave more noticable)

But why would Elise take on appearance markers of Dazai?

Simple.

Because there is something Mori regrets.

He only openly mentiones it in Beast but since Beast is a mirror of Canon, that shows us how different choices will change the same people, we can assume this are also the feelings of Canon!Mori.

Mori regrets not being able to really help Dazai.

And his regret will only get deeper as he makes another choice for an optimal solution.

Driving Dazai away and getting Oda killed fulfilled many positives for Mori, what he reached was the optimal solution. He just had to lose his right hand man.

(Light Novel Dark Era)

This is not the behavior of a man not regretting driving away the boy he cared about for 4 years to this point.

To this day Mori leaves Dazai's spot as executive open. He invited Dazai back into the Mafia.

And when we see Elise after Dark Era she has changed once again.

But this time it is not her appearance that changed, it is her attitude.

Elise displays a very much Dazai-like attitude when talking to Mori.

Where Yosano - and until the end of Dark Era Elise - were strong in their oppinion but polite and steadfast in their refusal, Dazai was bargaining. Dazai more often than not wanted something in exchange for doing something he deemed unpleasant/bothersome/boring.

During the recent timeline Elise also does this.

She doesn't just refuse things, she makes deals.

And she doesn't lie during negotiations, just like Dazai.

In the end Elise changes to be more like the people Mori feels a form of regret over. Elise is a constant reminder of his Regrets and Mistakes.

To support this, here are Asagiris words about Mori from the BSD Exhibition:

“He who fell out of the optimal solution”

Mori Ougai’s belief as the boss is described in the novel “Dark Era” and “Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen”. That is “The boss stands on top of the organization, and at the same time, be the slave of all.” For the sake of the organization, the boss must always take the “logical optimal solution.” That is the duty of the boss.

There is an unspoken additional point to it. “Therefore, no matter how much your heart aches, you have to ignore your personal feelings.” We can catch a glimpse of that in this scene. [the ADA-PM alliance meeting]

Mori’s expressions after “Burnt it.” and “Like what you did to your predecessor”, gave us a glimpse of his true feelings that were made sacrifices for the sake of the “logical optimal solution”.

[Translation by @popopretty here on Tumblr]

A true optimal solution would leave Mori with no regrets. But whenever Elise changes and reminds him of regrets he feels, it is also a reminder of the time he did not truly reach an optimal solution.

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bsd analysis #bsd mori ogai #bsd mori #mori analysis #bsd elise #bsd yosano #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #yosano akiko #elise

[rlaehrwks]

ENGLISH DUB SCRIPT FOR: OMNISCIENT READER’S VIEWPOINT

Annotated Edition

FADE IN: 

A subway with a nondescript man in a shabby suit reading on a cellphone. This man is DANIEL KIM. 

[The screen opens with a view of a cell phone, a scrolling list of chapters. Each chapter has 1 view.]

DANIEL KIM (narrating): It was a novel that no one seemed to read.

[The view pans over the screen scrolling over all those numbers.]

DANIEL KIM: I wondered why no one read it. It was a masterpiece.

[The screen pans over a list of statistics, that shall be skipped over for convenience.]

[The screen then transitions to DANIEL KIM dejectedly looking down at his phone.]

DANIEL KIM: Then again, who would read a novel with over 3,000 chapters?

I’m the only reader and it took me ten years to make it to the last chapter.

[The screen transitions to black.]

DANIEL KIM: Back then, I had no idea. 

[The screen flashes back to a scene of a horde of monsters pouncing on DANIEL KIM in a white coat.]

DANIEL KIM: On the day I finished the novel…

[A montage of scenes from later parts of the first Scenario can be seen.]

SCRIPTWRITER’S NOTES: They’re the same as in the Korean dub. Remember to censor the blood!

DANIEL KIM (in a different tone to indicate he’s in the scene): No way. I know… How this story goes. 

DANIEL KIM (narrating, in a calm tone): …The story I alone had been reading for the past ten years turned into reality…

[JOHNATHAN YORK can be seen clashing against DANIEL KIM.]

JOHNATHAN YORK: Who the hell are you!? 

DANIEL KIM (narrating): And I… became the only person to know the end of this world.

[Transition panel to a scene of DANIEL KIM’S COMPANY, looking up at the night sky. As the camera pans up, the following text appears.]

DUB 4 KIDS PRESENTS: 

OMV

FADE IN.

DANIEL KIM is sitting on a different subway, staring at his phone. His fingers are shaking over his phone screen. 

DANIEL KIM: Ah, I can’t believe it’s the Final Chapter…

I’m too nervous to even open it.

[The screen transitions to DANIEL KIM looking excitedly at his phone.]

DANIEL KIM: The ending…

[The phone text appears on his screen.]

PHONE TEXT DISPLAY:

There are three ways to survive in the apocalypse.

Everything is fading and becoming unclear now.

But one thing is certain.

If you’re reading this, you will survive.

[Three Ways to Survive the Apocalypse - Final Episode]

tls123

DANIEL KIM: Huh…?

[DANIEL KIM begins frantically swiping on his phone, only for the screen to barely move.]

[DANIEL KIM looks up from his phone and at the camera.]

DANIEL KIM: I’m Daniel. Nine times out of ten, people make weird assumptions about my name. 

RANDOM SALARYMAN: Oh, you’re Danny, huh? Are you an only child? 

DANIEL KIM: The name’s Daniel. 

RANDOM SALARYMAN: Uh…

DANIEL KIM: Though I am an only child.

RANDOM SALARYMAN: Whoops, sorry to make assumptions.

DANIEL KIM: However, their assumptions weren’t wrong. I’ve been lonely my entire life.

DANIEL KIM: This is who I am in a nutshell.

[A screen of informational text appears on screen.]

Scriptwriter’s Notes: It’s the same as in the Webtoon so there’s no need to rephrase it, just change some names.

DANIEL KIM: My hobby is reading novels on the subway on my way home from work.

But today’s subway ride was unlike any other. 

[A young woman with light brown hair and a light brown suit appears. Her name is SARAH YOUNG.]

SARAH YOUNG" Oh, my. At this rate you might get sucked into your phone. 

[The camera pans up at SARAH YOUNG’s beautiful expression. DANIEL KIM appears to be enamoured with her.]

DANIEL KIM: It was Sarah Young.

DANIEL KIM: W-What are you doing here!?

SARAH YOUNG: Are you heading home?

DANIEL KIM: Yes, you too?

SARAH YOUNG: Yes, I got lucky. My team manager is away on a business trip.

[SARAH YOUNG’s hair flies by DANIEL KIM’s face. He blushes madly.]

DANIEL KIM: Do you usually take the subway home? 

DANIEL KIM (internal monologue): I bet there’s a line of men willing to take her own… Grubby jerks. 

SARAH YOUNG: No, someone stole my bicycle. 

DANIEL KIM: You bike to work?

SARAH YOUNG: Yes. I’ve been working a lot of overtime recently, so I thought I could use the exercise. And I have some personal reasons too…

[SARAH YOUNG smiles at DANIEL KIM, who blushes.]

DANIEL KIM (internal monologue): She’s really pretty up close…

DANIEL KIM (internal monologue): However, she’s out of my league. We live in two different worlds. And just so you know, Sarah wasn’t the reason why today’s subway ride was different.

SARAH YOUNG: ¿Puede Prestarme Dinero?

DANIEL KIM: Pardon?

SARAH YOUNG: It’s Spanish. It means, “Please lend me some money.”

DANIEL KIM (inner monologue): Studying on the subway… She’s really extraordinary. Where would you even use that?

DANIEL KIM: You’re studying hard.

SARAH YOUNG: What about you, Daniel? What are you reading? 

[DANIEL KIM holds his phone away from SARAH YOUNG, who is peering over his shoulder to look at it.]

SARAH YOUNG: Is it a novel?

DANIEL KIM: Yeah… I guess you could say I’m studying, haha…

SARAH YOUNG: Wow, I love novels! My favorites are Haruki Murakami, Raymond Carver, and…

DANIEL KIM (inner monologue): Of course.

SARAH YOUNG

Who’s your favorite author, Daniel? 

DANIEL KIM

You probably wouldn’t know, even if I told you… 

DANIEL KIM (inner monologue): Yes, my hobby is reading novels on the subway. The reason why today is unlike any other is because Three Ways to Survive the Apocalypse, TWSA for short, which I’ve been reading for the past ten years…is ending today. 

DANIEL KIM (inner monologue): This novel is very special to me. I’ve been reading it since eighth grade.

I read it when I was bullied in school…

When I failed the entrance exams and ended up at a third-rate college…

And even now, as a contracted worker to a gaming company…

DANIEL KIM (inner monologue)" It’s bittersweet that the novel was coming to an end. Today is the day the epilogue of TWSA will be uploaded.

DANIEL KIM (inner monologue)

A serial of 3,149 chapters. A ten-year long epic journey that began in my teens and ended in my adulthood. 

I can’t believe the series went on for so long with an average view count of just one.

Scriptwriter’s Notes: The rest of the subway dialogue is omitted because it’s the same as the Korean dub, aside from name changes.

DANIEL KIM (inner monologue): If I were in a different genre…

[A brown grasshopper is onscreen.]

DANIEL KIM (inner monologue): If the genre of my life wasn’t nonfiction…

[A brown-haired boy with a bug tank is centered on by the camera. He is EUGENE LYON.]

DANIEL KIM (inner monologue): But fantasy… Could I have been the protagonist?

Scriptwriter’s Notes: The omitted section is essentially the same as the Korean dub, but with the names changed. 

DANIEL KIM: I have to live my own life…

SARAH YOUNG: Your own life… You’re so inspiring, Daniel!

DANIEL KIM: Sorry?

SARAH YOUNG: I should also live my own life!

Scriptwriter’s Notes: The following portion has been omitted because it’s the same as in the Korean dub.

[The subway stops.]

PANICKED MAN: What’s going on!?

PANICKED WOMAN: Is it a terrorist attack!?

PANICKED CITIZENS: Ahhh!!!

[A creature with white fur smiles. This is BENJAMIN.]

DANIEL KIM: Sarah, are you okay?

SARAH YOUNG: Y-yes. What do you think’s happening?

DANIEL KIM: Don’t worry, it’s probably nothing.

SUBWAY ANNOUNCEMENT: Ladies and gentlemen, if you would. P-please evacuate—! (abruptly cut off)

[A small ball of red sparks manifests in the middle of the subway.]

SYSTEM DISPLAY MESSAGE: The free service of the 8612th planetary system has ended.

The main scenario will begin now. 

DANIEL KIM (inner monologue): That was the moment that the genre of my life changed.

RANDOM CIVLIAN: “I-it’s a goblin!” 

DANIEL KIM (inner monologue): No way, this is just like what happened in the novel… That can’t be. Subways stop all the time. 

SARAH YOUNG: A goblin? 

[DANIEL KIM turns to look at SARAH YOUNG.]

DANIEL KIM (inner monologue): There’s no way that this can be happening in real life. 

RANDOM CIVLIANS: What is that?

[BENJAMIN manifests in front of the subway car.]

BENJAMIN: *speaks in garbled nonsense*

TEENAGED GIRLS: What’s it saying?

SARAH YOUNG: I think it’s speaking in Spanish. I’ll try talking to it.

DANIEL KIM: You really want to ask it to lend you money!?

BENJAMIN: Testing, testing. Can anyone hear me? Gosh, the language pack was malfunctioning for a bit. Can everyone hear me now?

RUDE BOY: Hey, what do you think you’re doing?

BENJAMIN: Pardon?

RUDE BOY: I’ve got an audition to get to, so can you hurry up? 

BENJAMIN: An audition, huh. That sucks. They said we’d get the most customers if we put the paywall up right now…

BENJAMIN: Okay, everyone, listen up! I’ve got something very important to tell you all! 

AFFRONTED CITIZENS:

Hurry up and restart the train!

You can’t do this to us! 

I’m gonna be late for my appointment!

DANIEL KIM (inner monologue): No way. I know how this story goes. I’ve gotta stop them. 

BENJAMIN: I… Told you… To be QUIET! 

[The body of the rude boy from earlier suddenly turns black, and it falls to the ground. The blood splatters are recolored to be dark purple. The civilians nearby look on, horrified. More of the same happens to everyone that spoke earlier.]

BENJAMIN: We are not filming a movie. This isn’t a dream, or a novel. And it certainly isn’t the reality you’re familiar with! Do you understand? 

All of you had quite the cushy life until now, didn’t you?

You were able to live without paying the costs!

You’ve all been enjoying privileged lives!

[A man in a black-and-white striped suit appears in front of BENJAMIN. His name is MITCHELL HART.]

MITCHELL HART: Is it money that you want? I’ll give you as much money as you want if you let me leave. 

BENJAMIN: Money is good. It can be used in exchange for goods and services. 

[BENJAMIN turns the money to ash.]

BENJAMIN: Too bad it only works within the confines of your spacetime. 

Try a stunt like that again, and you’ll end up in the Darkness Realm, got it?

MITCHELL HART: Ugh…

BENJAMIN: Ugh, at this rate, it’ll be faster to let you figure it out by yourselves. 

SYSTEM DISPLAY MESSAGE:

Channel #BY-7623 has opened. 

The Constellations are now entering the channel.

[A bright blue window pops up in front of everyone in the subway. Some notable people include a boy with white hair, NATHAN COOK, and a muscular man, HADRIAN LANG. Then, it pops up in front of DANIEL KIM.]

SYSTEM WINDOW:

THE MAIN SCENARIO HAS ARRIVED.

#orv #omv #:) #🐑

[illuminatedferret]

What do you think of the blackwater arc?

That's a pretty open-ended question! I've read a lot of very compelling analysis of the Blackwater arc, so let me see if I can sum up my thoughts without repeating much of what's already out there.

I suppose the short answer is that I liked it, although when I was rereading it for my timeline it did feel a little long. MXTX likes to write complicated situations with no easy way out(as opposed to her preference for writing protags that are the moral guidepost of their stories), and the Blackwater arc does a very good job presenting that sort of complexity in micro. A lot of awful stuff happens, but it's very human and compelling. I once read something that basically said "revenge is what people turn to when justice is denied to them" and i think He Xuan embodies that. I really love how his character is established in the Blackwater arc- he's a deeply passionate man whose refusal to lay down and die goes so far that I honestly wonder if he even knows how to do it.

I know many people tend to lean towards favoring either He Xuan or Shi Qingxuan in the aftermath of the Blackwater arc. I don't think it's that simple. I think that He Xuan was entitled to obtain justice for his family, but it's also unfortunate the lengths he was willing to go(stealing another's fate, collecting the people with horrible fates). I don't think it was right to demand Shi Qingxuan either kill his brother or take on a horrible fate, but it's entirely understandable why he does! If his family suffered so terribly, why should he bother to spare the brother of the man who caused their suffering, especially when that brother is the reason for their suffering? When that brother refuses to cut ties or take action against him? He Xuan cares very deeply about his family, and it's clear that even after all this time, he's in a lot of pain about their deaths. I think his actions are a commentary on the cycle of revenge, that he is unwilling to let go of his desire for revenge even if it requires he perpetuate the harm inflicted upon him. It's one of many foils to Xie Lian and his choices throughout the novel.

One thing I really liked about the Blackwater arc was the parallels between Xie Lian and Shi Qingxuan! Shi Qingxuan is being haunted by a horrific ghost, who we later discover is a supreme who has been at Shi Qingxuan's side all along, pulling the strings behind the scene. Rereading the whole section where Xie Lian has soul-shifted to Shi Qingxuan's body after figuring everything out is heart-wrenching after reading Book 4. He wants to help so bad, and above all else you can tell his priority is being witness to Shi Qingxuan's suffering, because he knows what it's like for to be alone/have your suffering unrecognized by others. (and conversely, Hua Cheng's desire to remove Xie Lian from the situation as quickly as possible is also very understandable after reading Book 4)

#illuspeaks #tgcf #he xuan #shi qingxuan #tian guan ci fu #i feel like this can be further refined but also im afraid of forgetting to finish this if i put it off longer #illuanswers

[lurkingshan]

La Pluie: We Must Speak Our Love

La Pluie, my precious child, my perfect show, I could not love you more. You stayed true to your themes the entire way through, and you trusted the audience to use our brains to understand what you were trying to say. You stuck to your guns about focusing on the relationships and the choices the characters made as the driving forces of this narrative, not the mythology and not destiny. You knew exactly what story you wanted to tell and you told it with a clarity and completeness that is extremely rare in these drama streets. I salute you.

This show never intended to solve the questions around the workings of fate in this universe, and while the characters individually may or may not believe in soulmates, what matters is who they choose to love. Tai even said it a few times in this episode to make sure the point was extra clear:

As for the destiny and soulmate stuff, they are like a trap in our relationship.

Love is about two people. It doesn’t need destiny to pave [the way]. I don’t care whether you are my soulmate or not. The most important thing is our feelings…I love you, Patts. I don’t care if it rains or not. I do love you no matter what happens.

No one chooses to find an answer anymore [about hearing loss or soulmates]. Because whether or not we know, it doesn’t have anything to do with the path that each person chooses. At least, we get to choose our own path, instead of destiny determining for us.

With that theme (which has been present through the entire show) coming through loud and clear, in the finale La Pluie was able to turn to another very important theme and hammer it home: the importance of speaking our love out loud, and communicating clearly with the people we care about. The fantasy of romance novels–that your lover will just intrinsically understand you without need for you to speak–was fully dismantled. This show said it is selfish to hold back your true thoughts and feelings from those you love, and we can only really connect with each other when we are willing to use our words. Below, I break down the many places this theme showed up in the finale’s excellent resolutions for our characters. 

Dream and Nara

First of all, let me just scream again because AHHHHHHHHHHH. I did not dare to dream that we would actually get this pairing, not as subtext, but as actual text in this show. We got to see Dream ask Nara out! And importantly, we got to see Nara nudge her into doing so by asking her to be clear. When Dream started hinting about whether Nara was open to a new relationship, Nara said straight out:

Can I ask why you want to know that?

Dream then got shy, but Nara kept talking to make it very clear exactly what they were discussing. She didn’t want any uncertainty between them, so she told Dream directly that she was welcome to hit on her. We love a confident and direct communicator! And we see in the epilogue montage that this clear communication paid off for them, and they are now happily dating.

Lomfon and Tien

I have to start this section by giving mad props to Lomfon, because that boy: understood exactly what he did wrong, reached out to Tien to try to make amends many times despite being rebuffed, put his effort into a film project that would get Tien’s attention, and then when the crucial moment came, used his words and used them well.

Lomfon was determined to show Tien how he felt, which was an important part of their resolution. His persistence mattered because it proved to Tien that he was serious. But his actions alone were not enough. When Tien asked why he made that film, Lomfon said:

I have already told you. I would show you with my actions.

And Tien walks away. It is only when Lomfon opens his mouth and begins to speak, in no uncertain terms, about what he did wrong, why he is sorry, and what he wants with Tien going forward, that Tien accepts his sincerity (and lays one on him). 

The words mattered. Tien needed to hear them to know that he could trust Lomfon with his heart. And now that he has heard him, he will.

Tai’s Journey

When we first see Tai in this episode, he is still stubbornly clinging to the idea that Patts is going to reach out to him first, passively waiting for that to happen, and resigning himself to giving up if it doesn’t. Tien shares our frustration with this knucklehead, and tries one more time to get through to his brother:

For the past two years, you haven’t talked to him. He had tried to reach you so many times.

Tien said brother, I love you, but it is your turn to try. And he’s right! Patts has been doing all the heavy lifting in this relationship, and Tai is the one who was in the wrong. He needs to be the one to reach out to Patts this time. 

This inspires some further reflection for Tai, and he finally makes an important connection: he has been doing to Patts what his mother did to him.

You’re really not going to say a thing?! I can’t understand [if you] say nothing.

Yadfah’s silence hurt Tai deeply, and as he remembers his painful conversations with her in the aftermath of the divorce, he realizes he stonewalled Patts the same way his mother stonewalled him. He finally seems to grasp how unfair that was, and he immediately springs into action. 

Tai’s first stop is Dream, who he is hoping can tell him where Patts is. In his conversation with her, we hear him reflect again on how his silence harmed their relationship.

If I’d understood him and talked to him earlier, it wouldn’t have turned out like this.

He also learns about Patts seeing him with Lomfon, which clarifies for him why Patts hasn’t reached out and why he has cut off contact from everyone. His determination grows, and with only the knowledge that Patts is helping to open a veterinarian clinic somewhere in Chiang Mai, he hits the road. 

But we’re not quite done with Tai’s lessons yet! As Tai wanders aimlessly around Chiang Mai, checking every clinic he can find, he makes some new friends when he runs out of gas and a shockingly kind couple invites him to eat dinner with them and stay overnight in their home. Art and Phueng are lovely people who have been together for years, sticking it out through Phueng becoming permanently disabled. Tai asks them for their secret to being happy together, and Phueng tells him:

We listen to and understand each other. We listen more, and speak less…if we speak more but listen less, we don’t hear [each other’s voices]. Then we don’t understand each other.

Do we got it yet, friends? Communication is the key to a happy relationship. 

Tai and Patts 

After days of searching, Tai finally finds Patts by chance, looking like a dead man walking in the street outside his clinic. And Tai wastes no time, calling out for him, running to him immediately, and launching into his verbalization of everything he’s realized. Crucially, he starts here:

You don’t have to say anything. This time, please let me say it.

And y’all. Y’all! Those words meant so much to me, let alone how it must have felt for Patts. We see Patts draw in a surprised breath after Tai promises he will say it this time, and as Tai goes on his eyes get increasingly misty and he struggles to keep his face neutral–you can see how much it all means to him. To finally have Tai acknowledge that Patts has been the one doing all the communicating, that he understands where he messed up now, that he was wrong, that he is sorry, that he absolutely does love Patts and he should have been able to say it. 

I didn’t talk to you well. I let it slide until [it got] bad like now.

Tai finally understands that his refusal to speak was the core problem, and he is saying it all now.

And that is all Patts needs to forgive him. Just the words that Tai has been holding back. Tai’s silence was always the thing that caused him the most pain, and now that he is speaking his love out loud, they can move forward. They can choose each other with no further doubts and a commitment to keep talking.

(Thank you thank you to @wen-kexing-apologist for grabbing screenshots for this post for me, and an extra special shout-out to @bengiyo for grabbing me after episode 1 of this show and telling me in no uncertain terms that I needed to start paying attention immediately. It has been an honor to clown with you and work to bring so many along with us for this wonderful show.)

#la pluie #thai bl #shan shouts into the void

[starfellforyou]

– 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞. ❆

‧ ₊˚ tags: genshin boys x fem!reader

‧ ₊˚ premise: in which you give a *very* busy man a special gift for his birthday

‧ ₊˚ characters: zhongli, diluc, ayato

‧ ₊˚ genre: fluff

zhongli - 12/31

you get zhongli some new books for his already endless collection, but decide to spice things up a little while you’re at it. you figured that he’d had his fair share of ancient texts and scriptures, so you resort to splurging on the latest light novels from inazuma; a genre you’re almost a hundred perfect sure he’s never tried before. one of the light novels in the bundle you purchased is pretty please, kitsune guuji?, a fan favorite. you thought it’d be zhongli’s type.

“for me, you say?” his deep voice is layered with warmth and pleasant surprise as he unwraps the thick package in his hands. “what’s… this?” he appears confused at first, but seems to be intrigued by the novels’ covers and titles. he offers a flattered smile as he graciously thanks you for the strange yet thoughtful gift.

it didn’t exactly come as much of a surprise, but zhongli got utterly addicted to kitsune guuji. you would often catch him intently flipping through chapter after chapter in between the gaps of his busy work schedule - a mission accomplished in your eyes.

a man with many responsibilities and lifelong duties to uphold, he hardly has time for idle manners or silly pleasantries such as yuri light novels from inazuma - but your gift warmed him. it made him feel anchored to the world he feels so far away from; a sinking rock in an endless, drifting river that knows nothing but boundless change. you are his right here, right now - his always.

diluc - 04/30

diluc always struck you as a simple, no-nonsense person - someone who appreciated traditional and conventional gestures when it came to “meaningless events” like birthdays; or maybe even no gestures at all. still, you refused to let him get away with that logic this time, and decided to get him a box of pretty praline chocolates and a handheld bouquet of windwheel asters. a practical yet fine gift, you thought.

you meet up with him at the winery one day for a birthday lunch, gifts in hand. shyly, you present the box of chocolates to him, followed by the bouquet of fragrant flowers that you make sure to specify were handpicked by yours truly. “o-oh, you didn’t have to,” he looks stunned at first, but his features eventually melt into a warm expression of relief and gratitude. “thank you for your gift. i appreciate it deeply.” he turns away then - but not before you spot the growing redness of his cheeks.

you never see diluc snacking during work hours, which happen to occupy most of the day. but once in a while you open the box of chocolates to find it multiple pralines short; a sight that delights you to no end. you also notice a new addition to his work desk - a vase of beautiful windwheel asters.

although he doesn’t always show it, diluc thinks of you constantly. he yearns for your presence when you’re away, and is willing to make exceptions for you when it comes to sticking to busy work plans and responsibilities. he’s just incredibly shy, and he shows his affection for you in countless other ways - ways that truly count.

ayato - 03/26

the thing about ayato is that, while he puts up a playful front around you most of the time and is often unable to hide his flirtatious side, he’s extraordinarily focused. he spends much of his day working away as head of the yashiro commission, both a dedicated leader and older sibling. in order to help him take some time off of work, you decide to get him an intricately-carved ryūteki (dragon flute) - with bamboo walls as steadfast and sturdy as ayato himself.

“why, that’s very thoughtful of you. i’ve always had a musical side - ever since i picked up my mother’s flute when i was a child. this gift means a lot to me.” you blush, unprepared for the grandeur of his gratitude. “now… is there anything else you’d like to give me? or perhaps, shall i pick what comes next?” he raises a mischievous eyebrow - and you know you're in deep, deep trouble.

you often meet up with ayaka for tea at the kamisato estate, and while ayato is often locked up in his office sorting out clan affairs, you occasionally hear the sweet, tender melody of the ryūteki you handpicked just for him. clouds drifting past the vast blue expanse of sky, you hear a magnificent dragon soar towards the sun.

the esteemed head of the yashiro commission is a reliable, consistent leader to many. he’s all that and more to you. you know him as a flirt and a bit of a show-off, but that’s what you love about him. he gets many suitors - naturally - but little do any of them know that he’s already found his one true love - one that he’ll never forget.

a/n: i remember establishing a no-simping-for-zhongli rule when i first started playing the game so i guess i'm a felon now

✧ starfellforyou

#genshin impact #genshin fanfic #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin hcs #genshin headcanons #genshin x y/n #ayato x reader #diluc x reader #zhongli x reader #kamisato ayato #diluc ragnvindr #zhongli #diluc #ayato #genshin scenarios #zhongli headcanons #diluc headcanons #ayato headcanons #zhongli hcs #diluc hcs #ayato hcs

[bestworstcase]

was rewatching a random rwby fight as is my habit, in this instance it was the cordovin mech fight and i Noticed something. when qrow switches his weapon from sword to scythe mode they put emphasis on the gears inside of it; the weapon this instantly made me think of was The Long Memory. (qrow also does more shapeshifting in this fight than I think we see in like, any other scene in the series). this makes me think that qrow didn't have his own custom weapon until after he started at beacon (makes sense, if he and Raven went in Jaune style) and probably not even until after STRQ got the RWBY treatment. thoughts? (also worth noting that Raven's weapon at present isn't unique to her at all, really; it's not custom designed or irreplaceable, her swords are meant to be broken. did she also have a beacon-era weapon, and if so, i wonder if it's sitting in a closet somewhere... and if it's got those same gears in it somehow) i find weapon design very interesting and even more so after V9 literally used weapons as representations of people's lives, souls, etc.

yknow something that's always kind of in the back of my mind is that the floral pattern on long memory's handle is echoed in due process and sundered rose, and as you note harbinger has the gears:

but stalwart doesn't have any such influence. nor does omen. both weapons belonging to characters who broke away from ozpin a long time ago:

glynda's weapon also does not have a perceptible influence from long memory, primarily because it's Literally Just A Riding Crop that she is using to focus her semblance but also narratively—ok like. think about this.

the first three—ironwood, qrow, summer—all of them were very close to ozpin, all of them trusted him and looked up to him enough to take aesthetic (& in qrow's case, mechanical) inspiration from long memory. and all of them became disillusioned with him and turned their backs on him in some way. summer left. qrow lashes out after learning the truth. ironwood ultimately rejects what ozpin stands for. they had ozpin on a pedestal that eventually, inevitably, broke.

lionheart has been spying for salem for a long time; raven "tried to leave" before summer vanished and then actually left afterwards. we know that raven, at least, never quite trusted ozpin in the first place, and we can infer that lionheart didn't trust ozpin enough to turn to him for help when salem first approached him. was there ever a pedestal to shatter? did they ever believe in him the same way ironwood, qrow, and summer did?

we've not seen taiyang's weapon yet, but he's not left his cabin in the woods since the fall of beacon as far as we know and even twelve years ago he did not seem to think very highly of ozpin. i think it could go either way, but i bet he's in the stalwart/omen camp.

theodore's gloves might also go either way—it doesn't sound like they have the floral pattern or filigree as described in the CFVY novel, but that doesn't necessarily mean it won't be there in the show—but based on his conduct in before the dawn i think he's probably in the due process/sundered rose/harbinger camp.

and then... there's glynda, who trusted and respected ozpin but also never really comes across as subordinate to him in the way that ironwood or qrow did during the beacon arc (or qrow after). not in the sense that she didn't work for him or wasn't willing to follow his lead, but their working relationship at beacon very much comes across as an equitable partnership, notwithstanding the information he's hiding. and since the fall of beacon, she's remained in vale, working tirelessly to put the kingdom back together and fighting to reclaim the school. there's no trace of long memory on her weapon, but her emblem is a crown. you know, like the relic of choice.

glynda might be the one member of his inner circle who was there because she believed in his ideals rather than because she believed in him, and that's why she's the one who hasn't collapsed without him.

#cultists!

[padme-amitabha]

LOVE VS ATTACHMENT PT. 1

There's many opinions on love vs attachment when it comes to Anakin and Padme's relationship so I thought I should offer my two cents. Of course, love and attachment are fundamentally different things. Love is the complex set of emotions you feel for and the choices you take in regards to another person. Attachment is the degree of safety and comfort you feel in the presence of another. Love may involve a healthy level of attachment in a loved one's presence however it is not vital in Jedi or eastern philosophies of love (like in Buddhism). Love is what remains even after the object is taken from you. Love is directed towards the object and not towards yourself. Love is selfless and more willing to let things go.

That being said, in ROTS Anakin and Padme love each other but in slightly different ways. As Lucas says, Anakin keeps secrets from her and goes to such lengths and falls from grace because he is too attached to her. And I agree because when he tries to offer her the galaxy, when he isn't listening to what she wants and takes her refusal personally and attacks her in a state of rage, he is operating from attachment. He is attached to the idea of his wife and the stability she provides during times of war and when he dreams of her dying he cannot accept the idea of losing her. And when she has different ideas of their future he takes it as a betrayal. It is a selfish, self centered way of thinking that makes him hurt her. However, the Anakin before the nightmares and being exposed to the idea of losing her was not simply attached. He had no issues about leaving his wife for months when he went off to war. Sure, he missed her presence and company but it's a healthy attachment because he was patient and willing to listen. When he wishes to leave the Order and she urges him to wait, he listens to her. Because he can wait. Moreover, attachment is more about the role the person plays in your life and what they can offer you rather than the admiration and fondness you feel for them independently. In AOTC (particularly in the novelization) and even TPM, Anakin genuinely likes Padme as a person first. He finds her admirable, beautiful, accomplished and most of his thoughts in the novelizations are praising Padme. But that doesn't mean he feels the need to attain or possess her. When she refuses him at first, he backs off and it is ultimately Padme who declares her love for him first that starts their relationship. It may not be what he wanted but Anakin was fine taking no for an answer and admiring Padme from a distance. He doesn't force or pressurize her in any of this (even reminding her of her previous reasoning when she does come to him first) and in AOTC, it is mostly Padme taking the lead in the choices the pair makes while trying to rescue Obi-Wan. He also leaves her after Geonosis and listens to Obi-Wan because he can let go when necessary and he knows she's capable to handle herself. It may seem like he's idolizing her at times but love does indeed come with a pair of rose-tinted glasses (like for Padme at times). That is also why the scenes of them spending time together was important. He didn't simply view her as an accomplished girlboss and fell in love with her. He met her family, observed her at home (and them spending all their time together meant there's more intimacy), shared her childhood dreams and experiences and saw her when she's not presenting the best version of herself. Similarly, Padme didn't fall for him the moment they met because he was attractive and grown up. She laughed at his jokes and silly antics like the floating fruits stunt and heard all his rants about Obi-Wan. I think it's pretty clear Padme genuinely liked and loved Anakin. But because her other attachments in life were more secure, she didn't fear losing him like Anakin did. In contrast, Anakin loved her with a degree of attachment (after losing his mother) that eventually turned her unhealthy. Anakin in AOTC before losing his mother says the same - that attachment is forbidden but Jedi can always love, especially unconditionally.

#anidala #padme amidala #anakin skywalker #love vs attachment

[manias-wordcount]

Strangers (Kaedehara Kazuha)

Kinktober 2022 Day Twenty-Two: Soft Domination

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧�� 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

You’re not sure why you were so willing to sleep with a stranger. But perhaps it was because Kazuha was so different than other strangers you’ve met.

 He was the first person you’ve ever met from Inazuma. Just sitting and sipping away at his drinks as he enjoyed the ambiance of the tavern. He was welcoming when you asked to sit with him. And he was more than willing to indulge your questions of his strange way of dress. He spoke with a soft voice. A melodic and calm hum that seemed to float around the table. It buzzed in your ears playfully with the quiet rise and fall of the emphasis of his letters and sounds. And it didn’t help that his words and his sayings were always a poem just waiting to be written. A novel waiting to be explored. But that pretty face of his didn’t help. Strangers or otherwise.

 He had a modest stature, but he carried himself well. A warm confidence coupled with a gentle smile as he laughed at all your questions about his life as a wandering samurai. Far, far away from home. And the red streak in his platinum blonde hair- it danced as he would laugh. It brought out his bright red eyes that seemed to sparkle like gems to your tipsy brain. But the delicate curves of his handsome face had you looking for any excuse to stay with him as you finished your drink or two. A sediment no doubt shared as his eyes seem to travel a bit too low to be considered a normal look between strangers, now friends.

 And in your time together at the bar, he told you a number of stories. About his past. About his present. Some daring. Some beautiful. He bought you a drink or two in between those stories. And he told you about the hotel room he had for the night in the end. 

 You followed him back to his lodgings. Strangers, now friends. A trust you shouldn’t have in him. But a trust you couldn’t help but feel as his hands moved just a bit away from what you would consider to be innocent. But when the door to his lodgings was shut and locked behind you, you realized that the role of friends was left in the bar. 

 Just like your clothes, now with little tears and torn buttons from excited fingers, are left all over the floor. But the way he littered your skin with pretty little bite marks covers you in its own special way. A way that sent you gasping and moaning as he took his time finding out all the spots that had your legs squeezing together and your fingers tugging at his hair. 

 And just when you thought it was your turn to reciprocate all that he had for you, he manages to surprise you again. Being so, so gentle as he pushes you back onto his temporary bed and climbs on top of you- still half-dressed. 

 “Close your eyes. And keep them closed.” A murmur comes. Low and close to your ear. Voice as sweet as the liquor you both drank tonight. You’re starting to feel convinced that he’s more than an Inazuman. “I want to explore something with you. I want to make you feel good.”

 He’s magic.

 But in the back of your mind, you know that he’s a stranger. And you know you shouldn’t be doing this with a stranger. You shouldn’t be letting your guard down. You shouldn’t be making yourself so vulnerable. He’s a stranger. Even if at the bar, you felt that you both were friends.

 But you look into his eyes for a second. You look into his eyes one more time. And they’re half-lidded like yours. They’re oh, so red, and they glitter like gems. They tell you the same stories he told you in the bar. Some daring. And some beautiful. You find that you can lay your trust in a man you just met. Just this once. He’s different, after all. And you’re really starting to like different. 

 So you take a deep breath. And you take one more. And with that, your eyes fall shut, giving in to his request. Strangers or otherwise. 

 His fingers found your lips as soon as your eyes close. A thumb swipes over your bottom lip, drawing small, small circles before lighting tugging it downwards. Your eyes squeeze shut for a moment, and you let out a harsh breath, unsure of what to do with the feeling. But Kazuha gives you a soft hum, reminding you to relax. So you do. You take a deep breath, letting your chest rise all to let it fall once more. Your eyes no longer squeeze shut. They close slightly, blocking out all your vision peacefully. Only your imagination remains. The images of Kazuha you kept in your head. The images of a stranger, so different from all that you’ve met before. 

 His hand travels downwards. You let it.

 It slowly travels down your chin, his other fingers coming up to rest on your neck as he makes his way down to your throat. He moves impossibly slow. Putting just enough pressure to remind you that he’s here. And not enough to leave you satisfied. But then he shifts. His hands adjust and suddenly, it’s not just a finger traveling down your neck. It’s his whole hand- coming to circle around it. Holding with a grip that allows him to manipulate where he wants your head to turn. To the left. To the right. You let him. Up. And up. And up, and up, and up until your head is back and you’re arching your back to keep up his wants. You let him.

 Your reward is a kiss to your slightly parted lips. He soaks up your deep breaths with his own mouth. It’s different. intimate. It’s soft. It’s not sloppy like you had before. It’s not rough like you’ve had before. It’s different. And you need more of it. You need more of him. Strangers or otherwise. 

 “You’re responding to me very well,” He voices in a soft whisper. You’re melting at the pride that laces Kazuha’s words as he guides your body downwards until you’re back to lying flat on top of the hotel bed sheets. “I’m proud of you.”

 You mewl. 

 He’s a stranger. You know that. You know that so well. Your rapidly sobering thoughts remind you of that constantly, and yet you’re whimpering at his praise. Whining under his care and attention to detail. And waiting. Waiting patiently. Waiting so, so patiently. To see if he could give you more of this feeling. This soft, soft feeling. Of care. Of pride. Of accomplishment. Of lust. Of magic.

 Strangers or otherwise.

#Kazuha #kazuha genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin x reader #kazuha kaedehara #kazuha kaedehara x reader #kazuha genshin #Genshin #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact fanfic #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin fanfiction #genshin fanfic #kazuha x reader #kazuha genshin impact #x reader #xreader #fanfiction #fanfic

[sieglinde-freud]

i think the fell xenologue does a great job at characterizing some of the royals beyond the vanilla game mostly because every single royal has like one or two core principles that really make them who they are and so getting rid of those one or two things completely converts them into a completely different person. like alcryst losing his self doubt, celine loses her empathy, hortensia loses her resilience, etc etc. but i think my favorite version of this has to be fogado, who has in my opinion the most drastic change. i think all of the other royals have very outward presenting traits that you can easily catch onto and see theyve lost. but fogado is just a little different, because what fell fogado lacks isnt really a trait; he loses his sense of love. (rest under the cut bc it turned into an essay. my bad also fell xenologue spoilers obvs)

“our” fogado (?? idk how to differentiate between them. work with me here) is not an easy person to read in universe. he makes it very clear in chapter 13 that he’s pretty good at deception and is very willing to make use of that skill. his supports with timerra and pandreo also tell us he’s gotten used to keeping up a specially crafted persona meant to kind of suppress his feelings (that timerra and pandreo can see through but. like 1. theyre smart 2. sister and bff ok moving on). but he doesn’t do it out of malice or because he just likes being tricky, he lies because he loves. everything in fogado’s life is shaped by what he loves: his country, his friends, and his sister. every single motivation he has is fueled by this: the constant partying, how often he leaves the castle, all his acting. its even in his goddamn class name (cupido) and birthday (feb 14) if you needed the game to spell it out for you

so thats why when we get to the fell xenologue, the fogado we meet is changed in that one specific way: his love is gone. we know this because of a few things, the first of which is that he is honest. aside from the robe (in which he is assassinating someone! but also. lets be so honest with ourselves here. you can see his fucking face) he’s immediately upfront with his intentions: he wants the bracelets, he wants power, and he wants you to die. and thats it. he just kind of hands you that information, and then fucks off when you win. on what earth would our fogado do that? dude wouldnt even tell you if he broke his leg, he just partied a little hard last night. but thats just it isnt it? our fogado lies because he loves people, hes protecting them. fell!fogado is transparent because he’s not protecting anyone, he doesn’t care.

but the biggest kicker in fell!fogado’s lack of love is in his interaction with our timerra. our fogado loves his sister more than anything, as he literally plans his entire life around making HER life easier. he sacrifices even just spending time with her just because he needs to make sure hes fully prepared to keep her safe (not that timerra wants that for him but he doesnt really get that. which is another topic i could dive into but this post is long enough lets not make it a novel). fell!fogado though? well you see–

any love fogado holds for his sister, or any love at all really, is just not present in fell!fogado. and you could say that maybe its just because of the corruption, but then why do we still see love between the fierenese and brodian siblings? even fell!timerra still loves her brother if her conversation with our fogado is anything to go off of. but the writers know that fogado lives and dies on his love for people, its his entire being and so much more so than the rest of the cast. which is why thats what had to change in him for the fell xenologue. it wasnt really just a flip of the switch haha murder thing (though. it could have been handled better. lets be real) but it was the loss of everything that makes fogado him. and i think the fact that this gets to be highlighted in the dlc just makes base game fogado all that much more interesting, because it cements his motivation now that we know what he's like without it. fogado is a guy driven by love and its just fucking great

#fe fogado #ann gets engaged #im not really sure what compels me to type up gigantic rambles in the middle of the night but. whatever #anyways so next up on the agenda: my argument for why hes aroace— #ok kidding bc thats purely headcanon and has nothing to do with fogados motivations but cmon. let a girl dream. #anyways when i first started typing this out it was supposed to be like. four sentences about me liking the contrast between the fogados #whoops! #my hand mustve slipped #but idk i just like. i like talking about fogado bc i feel like not enough people really do #and like theres discussion about him but its usually either shipping stuff or unit viability #both of which are valid! its just that in those discussions fogado as a character takes a backseat #which is j such a shame bc. grerahhekkdke hes sooo compelling. im putting him in my washing machine #oh and then theres the racism in the fandom but. wow. fe fans and racism noooo way. so shocked #/s if that wasnt obvious #and THEN if there is discussion about him as a person theres like 50% chance its j ‘oh hes claude 2’ #which i have already expressed my frustration about as i love both of them and theyre j. so not the same. #but people assume bc they know claude they know fogado and thats just not true. its so not true. #whatever im not trying to make the tags longer than the post i just think fogado is neat :) #engage fav? yeah. top 10 fe character? ykw. probably #ok goodnight

[strangerwheelerthings]

Nancy playing dungeons and dragons as kids

This was so fun to write! Thank you!

----

Mike threw open her door and barged into her room. “Nancy! Look at this cool game Lucas found! It’s called Dungeons and Dragons, and you get to go on fantasy quests. It’s better with more than three people though, would you be willing to play with us? Will’s asking Jonathan too.”

Nancy looked up from her novel. “What’s involved?”

He jumped onto her bed beside her, tugging the book from her hands and plopping a new one into them. The cover depicted a mythical dragon fighting a knight.  

“There’s a whole manual with information about the monsters and fantasy races you can play as and fight. There’s this person called the dungeon master who leads the other players through a story and plays as the side characters, like the villains and allies. I bet you would be really good at that. You do the best character voices!”

Nancy snatched her fantasy novel back from the dangerous hands of her eight year old brother. After setting the book safely aside, she flipped through pages of the manual. It was filled with art and pictures of various creatures and spells. It looked really awesome actually. “Sure, why not, I’ll be your story teller, or whatever it was called. It’d be better than having one of you dorkasauruses do it. ”

Her brother didn’t even acknowledge the jibe. “Yes! I have to tell Lucas and Will! They were fighting over who would have to do that.” He jumped off her bed with a fist pump. “Let’s go!”

“Hold your horses for two seconds! If I’m supposed to be leading some kind of story, I’m going to need some time to figure this whole thing out. Give me a few days. Aren’t you three having another play date on Saturday?”

He pouted. “Yeah, ok.” His mood flipped again. “This is going to be so cool! My character’s going to be a dragon killing knight! Heiya!” He mimed waving a sword around as he ran out of the room. She giggled at his enthusiasm before noticing that he forgot to shut the door behind him. “Mike! Close the dang door!”

She started studying the manual immediately. She wanted to know the rules inside and out. Mike had presented a challenge, and she was going to master it. Over the next few days, the manual was juggled between the many hands trying to learn everything about the game. They were preparing character sheets while she learned the details of the world and made a few of her own. Jonathan required some cajoling from Will, but eventually he agreed to join in a game. 

On Saturday morning, they all crowded into the Wheeler’s basement and set up. Nancy was nervous, but mostly excited. She thought the boys would probably like what she had planned. Thankfully, they had managed to get a few sets of dice, though Will and Jonathan would have to share theirs. The younger boys took out the papers and grinned at her with eager faces. Jonathan did not look nearly as excited. 

She took a breath, giving them a moment to calm down before she started the introduction. “Our tale begins on the outskirts of a dwarven town. There have been rumors of children across the whole valley going missing. A tall figure sits in the corner of a tavern, called there in search of a mystery.” She gestured to Mike. “Mike, describe your character.”

He dove into an extremely detailed account of his human paladin’s armor and wickedly cool sword. 

“Three men in worn traveling cloaks approach you. They have been many days on the road. They hail from different places, but found camaraderie and protection in joining forces against dangerous bandit attacks. Will, Lucas, Jonathan, describe your characters.”

Will jumped to describe a powerful, yet spindly human wizard. Lucas went next, painting the image of a colorful and charming tiefling ranger. Jonathan’s turn was brief and to the point as he said he was a dark and mysterious rogue elf. They were ready to start the actual roleplay.

“Boys, you reach the table that Malavin sits at. What do you say to him?”

The dialogue was slow and awkward in the beginning, as they struggled to get their improve legs under them. Eventually the story started going smoother and the awkwardness faded. They seemed to get very invested in the mystery she had spent hours agonizing over. Finally they reached the moment of reveal. 

She shifted in her seat, eagerly awaiting their reactions as she revealed the betrayal of the helpful town deputy. She was not disappointed. The table erupted in uproar. The boys jumped from their seats. 

“What!?!?”

Nancy couldn’t hold back the laugh bubbling in her throat. She choked it down after a moment, and started speaking in a low and dark voice. “Kanjigar’s evil smirk starts to widen and shift. Something is happening. The human facade is falling, his form starts bulging and growing. His skin stretches, changing into a sickly blue. An Oni stands before you. Everyone, roll initiative.”

After another freak out, they got serious and prepared to fight such a dangerous creature. They managed to survive by the skin of their teeth and a few miraculous saving throws. Even Nancy jumped to her feet in excitement when Will rolled a natural twenty at the most critical moment, taking the monster down with one final blow. 

They were all hopped up on adrenaline and energy as they closed the quest and finished the story. That had been so fun. Her little brother and his friends had loved it! The four of them easily decided that this would have to happen again, with a longer campaign the next time. Jonathan respectfully opted out but thankfully a party of three would be enough for a fun game still. She wanted to create something even better next time, something that the boys would love. Her favorite part of the part was how happy it made them, but also the challenge of setting up interesting plot points and watching them react. 

--- --- ---

Over the next couple years, Nancy DMed for them many times. The boys grew older and more confident in the game, and started running their own campaigns. When Dustin joined the party, he brought a fun new energy to the group. His arrival also meant that she wasn’t needed to play anymore.

Nancy was growing older herself, and she didn’t find being a part of the party as fun as being the DM. When she made her own best friend, Barb, she stopped playing with them altogether. Barb wouldn’t like D&D anyway. She’d think Nancy was a crazy geek, especially for enjoying the game as much as her little brother. Little boys were obnoxious anyway, Nancy didn’t know why she had liked the stupid game in the first place. Yes she did.

#stranger things #nancy wheeler #mike wheeler #lucas sinclair #will byers #dustin henderson #byler #wheeler siblings #dnd #dungeons and dragons #st fic #the party #nancy & the party #jonathan byers #jonathan and nancy knew each other as kids #they just werent besties #jancy #rae answers

[ridiasfangirlings]

Hi! So I've seen a lot of people call Munakata "manipulative" and I was wondering why he's called that? i've seen the anime, the movie and 7 stories and i didn't get that impression from him. the closest thing i can think of is when he is being kind of cruel about kusuhara's death to zenjou, saying how it was necessary for s4, but i don't see that as him being manipulative? it's definitely not a scene where he is portrayed as a nice person- he is disregarding zenjou's feelings by saying that kusuhara's death was necessary for s4's progress, which i personally see as cruel, but not manipulative.

(just gonna put a small disclaimer: i haven't read the k novels completely yet. i've read some chapters, though i definitely read them out of order)

When it comes to Munakata I think of him as manipulative in the sense that he’s good at reading people and turning situations to his advantage, he’s not necessarily sinister in his motives but he does know how to make things go his way. In Side Blue the novel originally did seem to dance around the idea of Munakata being responsible for or planning Kusuhara’s death and I don’t think that was the case, while he does turn it to his advantage (as he discusses with Fushimi in DOB, he’s made his S4 ‘more complete’ thanks to that missing piece) I don’t think it was at all his intention in having Kusuhara join the Special Forces. That said I think Munakata does show his manipulative tendencies in Side Blue with the entire rest of the Kusuhara situation. We know Munakata wanted Zenjoh in S4 — the only members of Habari’s S4 who he not only wanted but wanted in a combat position — and Zenjoh himself chose to go to the Records office. When Kusuhara presents the opportunity though Munakata uses that to get Zenjoh to be more active in S4, in training Kusuhara, and at the same time I think Munakata’s ulterior motive here was that if Zenjoh wouldn’t be his contingency then Kusuhara could fill that space. He doesn’t inform either of them of this (though I think Zenjoh probably suspected) and uses Kusuhara’s sincere desire to follow him in order to move that piece to the space he wants it. 

For another more clearly laid out situation there’s also what happens with the twins in LSW. At Fushimi’s installation he notes that Munakata deliberately says some words which stir up dissatisfaction in the ranks (when Fushimi mocks the pledge he’s supposed to say and Munakata notes that those who just said it out of duty without thinking may be the less trustworthy ones). Later on after the twins are captured it’s mentioned that Munakata used this situation to both root out the enemy factions within S4 and secure his hold more strongly as its head, basically deliberately provoking the remnants of Habari’s clan that were dissatisfied with him and using that to be rid of them. In this case it’s pretty clear that he was manipulating his enemies in order to get them to show themselves, because Munakata decided this was the best way to kill two birds with one stone.

I think you could argue he also does manipulate Fushimi to some degree, not necessarily in a malicious way but more that he recognizes Fushimi isn’t happy in Homra and uses that to his advantage to get Fushimi to make a choice that he might not have been actively willing to do otherwise. There’s technically no reason Munakata needs to meet with Fushimi in the S4 van for example — Munakata gives one, but it’s not something he couldn’t have discussed more officially with Kusanagi — but Munakata pretty clearly has a reason for wanting to speak one on one with Fushimi beyond any official business. That Fushimi fits better in S4 and was unhappy in Homra doesn’t really change that Munakata was the one most actively trying to get things into position where Fushimi would be comfortable admitting he wants to change clans. This doesn’t make Munakata a bad person and he certainly didn’t ‘make’ Fushimi do anything but again, Munakata looked at the situation and carefully moved his pieces so that everything would turn out the way he considered most advantageous. 

#Munakata Reisi #Talking K #like I don't think the Fushimi part there is *bad* or anything #but he did help manipulate that situation a little #not in a way that harmed Fushimi like Hisui did but he was absolutely making his own moves #I think Munakata is basically good at making things turn in his favor

[fincalinde]

What do you think about jc?

I've sat on this ask for a bit because I have so much to say about JC that it was difficult to pick an angle. Then I remembered some of the tags that were added to my JYL and WWX post. A few people seem to disagree with my assessment that JYL loves WWX more than JC, and I thought it would be worth responding to that because I see why there's disagreement but I stand by my position.

Standard disclaimer: I'm commenting on a trend here because I think it's interesting, and I'm not responding to anyone in particular.

OK so.

I don't dispute that JYL loves JC deeply. She takes care of him, she adores him, and I'm sure she's willing to die for him.

Where the taggers and I seem to differ is that I place more emphasis on the way JYL treats JC than the way she feels about him in the abstract. I don't doubt for a second that JYL herself would insist and truly believe that she loves JC and WWX equally as her darling baby brothers.

However, when the chips are down her actions don't bear this out. We see JYL with her brothers more than once so we do have a decent holistic picture of their dynamic right up until her death, both when things are good and when things are very bad—the latter of which being, in my opinion, much more telling.

I've gone through all their scenes (in presented rather than chronological order) to examine how JYL treats her brothers in ordinary circumstances and to highlight how that treatment differs when the stakes are higher.

Lotus Pier and lotus seeds

Though JYL is mentioned earlier than this in the novel, she first appears in the scene where YZY is upbraiding JC for shooting arrows with WWX and some of the other disciples. She slaps JC, calls him an ignorant child, and tells him off for messing around when one day he'll be clan leader. She then turns on WWX and blames him for influencing JC to fool around.

I won't get into YZY's poor parenting and leadership here. I'll just note that she scolds and humiliates both JC and WWX. And then I'll note that in the next scene, at dinner after the news that each clan must send at least twenty disciples for 'teaching', JYL passes WWX a small dish of peeled lotus seeds. It's a very sweet and quietly supportive gesture and very characteristic of her. But JC has also been scolded and struck and humiliated. Where are his lotus seeds? I realise this sounds petty, but these small things add up.

I don't at all read this scene as implying that JYL doesn't feel sympathy or love for JC. But it's the first indication that her instincts guide her towards meeting WWX's emotional needs before JC's.

Post-cave soup

Nothing notable here, WWX has just been through an ordeal and JC is in the pink of health so it makes sense that JYL is feeding WWX soup and focusing on him.

Phoenix Mountain hunt flower chuck

Before the hunt JYL's face lights up when she sees both of her brothers and she risks her fragile health to throw them a flower each. Again nothing notable about this. At that particular moment in time all is theoretically well.

Langya soup

JYL makes extra soup for both of her brothers. Makes sense, they are both present and neither are in active crisis, this is a standard domestic task she carries out for both of them (and JZX, oops).

No living man am I!

JYL stands up for WWX at the Phoenix Mountain hunt. JC isn't present this so I'm really noting it for the sake of being thorough. It's not ideal that JC isn't present and hears about it later, but it doesn't have any bearing on whether or not JYL favours WWX in her treatment of her brothers as she's not choosing between them here and she's acting as much to defend the reputation of the Jiang as to protect WWX.

The ancestral hall

Just some quick banter in this scene, Xianxian is being three years old and when JC arrives it's really the twin heroes show while JYL says she'll make them both soup to stop them fighting. JC is being pretty harsh with his words here but it's still within the realms of the way he and WWX typically rag on each other, so no one's in genuine distress and JYL is just trying to stop a squabble rather than actually tend to anyone's hurt feelings.

That said, it is one of the best examples of the typical dynamic between the three of them: the boys bickering (though here in particular with ominous undertones) while JYL gently tries to keep the peace.

Sad backstory

The scenes where JYL goes out to fetch tiny WWX from the tree and he and JC reconcile after JC loses his beloved dogs aren't a smoking gun but they are indicative of where the dynamic ends up. JYL handles this situation incredibly maturely for a girl her age. She does the right thing in going to get WWX and in ensuring JC apologises and they make up. She is in no way to blame for the fact that it's unreasonable and unfair to take away a child's dogs and expect him to accept that and be gracious about a new child whose presence is the reason for the dogs' absence.

I don't think JYL is favouring WWX here. For one thing, she's just met him and hasn't had time to love him as much as she loves JC. But it does establish a dynamic we'll see cropping up again: WWX needing support and JYL providing it, while JC's needs go comparatively unmet. I'll emphasise again that JYL is absolutely not responsible here for the awfulness of the situation, and she's doing the best anyone possibly could in her shoes. But later, when she does bear more responsibility for the disparity in the level of sisterly attention WWX and JC receive, this particular dynamic has a familiar feel.

Say yes to the dress

JC and JYL sneak out so WWX can see JYL in her wedding dress. JC really is for the most part a very good clan leader and brother and he deserves a lot of credit for moments like this where he takes a reputational risk purely because of his brotherly love and loyalty to WWX and JYL. JC is also the one who suggests WWX be the one to pick the courtesy name, which is extraordinarily generous of him and a meaningful gesture that shows he truly considers WWX family even if they've mutually agreed that in public they can't associate any more.

Like the majority of the scenes with the three of them together, this captures a moment of relative calm where it's correspondingly easier for JYL to balance her brothers' emotional needs and keep the peace through their bickering. But now we're getting to the heavy stuff ...

MEMORIES CONSUME LIKE OPENING THE WOUND

So everything that happens after WWX kills JZX does need to be properly contextualised i.e. it has to be acknowledged that this is an extreme situation. But this section is also what I personally consider to be the smoking gun, so here goes.

After JZX's death, JYL is in a terrible state but she travels alone to the pledge conference just to see WWX. In the middle of a literal battle full of resentful corpses, she runs around looking for WWX. JC and WWX try to find her and can't get to her in time, as WWX is no longer able to control the corpses and one of them seriously injures her. JC picks up JYL while LWJ holds WWX back.

At this point JYL is badly hurt but not mortally wounded. She's in JC's arms and at no point during this entire sequence does she acknowledge him in any way. All her attention is focused on WWX. She says she came to tell him something, but she can't finish her sentence because she can't bring herself to tell him it's fine and she doesn't hate him—but she also can't bring herself to say it's not fine and she does hate him.

WWX gets the corpses back under control at JYL's request and then a random disciple trying to avenge his brother strikes at WWX. JYL intercepts the blow and dies instantly (still in JC's arms the entire time).

There's quite a bit to unpack here, but what I take from this is the following:

JYL loves WWX so much that even when he has literally murdered her husband and the father of her baby she can't stop loving him and can't bring herself to condemn him even if she also can't bring herself to forgive him. This is a hugely fraught moment between the two of them and it does make perfect sense that WWX would be her primary focus. She's grieving and traumatised and that does tend to narrow one's focus.

Can I imagine a scenario where JC has struck JZX in rage and killed him and JYL struggles across a battlefield to reach him and is then unable to forgive or condemn him? Yes, without question.

Can I imagine the above scenario where WWX is also there and JYL completely ignores his existence the entire time? That would be a hell no.

And yes I know WWX is an attention grabber and harder to ignore. But as obnoxious as he can be, I do think he would if only briefly let JYL and JC have their moment. But I just can't picture a sequence of events where an injured JYL falls into WWX's arms and she doesn't even glance at him because she only has eyes for JC.

There's obviously a degree of subjectivity here of course, and I'm making my argument based on the totality of their interactions rather than picking out specific quotes. I personally think it matters that though JYL might love her brothers equally in theory, when the going gets tough she doesn't treat them equally in practice. And for me the disparity, however minor, comes to an awful culmination in their final scenes together. JC is always second best to WWX by razor thin margins, and this is yet another time where he falls infinitesimally short with cruelly painful consequences. A completely ignored JC holding his dead sister in his arms hits painfully hard, not least because it really is not possible to imagine WWX could ever have been in his place.

#ask #add1ctedt0you #roquen meta #am i being controversial again #nothing could be more controversial than my yi city post anyway #anyway in conclusion the yunmeng sibs all love each other very much #but like #'i love you both equally but i have a favourite' #i do not think 'equally' means what you think it means #jc is like an absurdly good bro #i am in no way pretending he is not a complete nightmare in many respects #but there's a reason wwx apologises to him in their final encounter #like yep there were Circumstances but you fully betrayed your family there #oh here's my actual most controversial take: #by the end of the novel wwx and jc are both better off not being in each other's lives #long post

[grandhotelabyss]

I think I mostly gave good reviews to everything in the genre I’ve written about, but you’re right that something in me hesitates. 

I grew up with the genre. Influences still linger from my childhood: Heinlein sparked my interest in the literature of ideas, Bradbury turned me toward aesthetic prose, and Ellison modeled the writer as pugnacious public force. (Asimov and Clarke didn’t interest me then, just as Kim Stanley Robinson doesn’t interest me now. I’ve never cared about actual science, except maybe for the very idea of theoretical physics, which, sans the math, just returns us to speculative philosophy anyway.) I discovered Dick, Delany, Le Guin, Gibson, Ballard, and Butler later, mostly in college; I even interviewed China Miéville once—circa Iron Council—but didn’t keep up with his career after that. I love Tom Disch’s acerbic and more-than-apprehensive history of the genre, The Dreams Our Stuff Is Made Of, a real essay in the old liberalism equally dismissive of Heinlein’s Kiplingesque militarism and Le Guin’s Rousseauist pacifism. He would, had he lived, have made a good anti-woke pundit. I still haven’t read his fiction.

While science fiction and fantasy both get dumped in the “genre” bin with romance and detective novels, they are infinitely freer genres, since the conceit of imagined futures, imagined worlds, imagined technologies, or imagined aliens makes no plot demands in the way that romance and detective novels require certain story structures, however subverted. In that way, science fiction isn’t a genre at all but a mode (related to satire and utopia) requiring that other genres be grafted on to create a novel proper, whether noir (Neuromancer), historical romance (Dune), boys’ adventure (Starship Troopers), slave narrative (Kindred), imperial romance (The Left Hand of Darkness), etc. You can do (almost) anything in science fiction.

Yet “related to satire and utopia” is the catch: the source of my hesitation. There is something irreducibly ideological in the genre, “ideological” not in the Marxist sense of “hidden structuring assumptions that uphold vested interests” but in the liberal sense of “willful and reductive systematic reasoning.” Why would anyone imagine a future, a world, a technology, an alien, if not to make a point? Science fiction by its nature has “a palpable design upon us.” Some writers can use this to advantage, as in Solaris, a genuinely searching essay, but the risk of didacticism is sky high.

You can’t write a novel in the Jamesian sense—a shaped record of inner sensibility encountering outer experience in the present—within science fiction, because it asks for the totality of your views on nature and society up front without letting them emerge slowly from the artistic process itself and therefore surprise you as much as the reader. I have tried to write science fiction as an adult, and every time, I bog down in exposition, losing myself in the composition of a political treatise before I can meet a character or see a sight. My own lack of capacity should be blamed first, but not solely. So if I ever seem to think science fiction per se falls short of art, that would be the reason. 

#science ficton #literature #literary criticism

[inner-sakura]

Theoretically Forever

[Adrien POV sequel to Hypothetically Ever After, childhood friends AU, adrienette, fake/pretend relationship]

Adrien Agreste has had a crush on Marinette Dupain-Cheng for as long as he can remember.

Unfortunately for him, however, she’s only ever had eyes for his older brother Félix, who’s never so much as looked her way.

But when an opportunity suddenly presents itself to turn the tables and rewrite the script on their relationship, Adrien finds himself hard-pressed to turn it down… Especially when it means getting to date the love of his life.

Even if it is only fake.

AU where PV Felix is Adrien’s older brother. inspired by the novel “the boys next door” by jennifer echols. hello and welcome back to the brothers AU fic series that no one ever asked for yet i remain obsessed with.

read it here

chapter two

Adrien Agreste was in the middle of a Very Nice Dream.

A dream so nice, in fact, that his enjoyment of it was not at all affected by the knowledge that none of it was real.

It was, and yet it wasn’t. Dreams were weird like that.

He and Marinette were laying on a blanket in the backyard, the remnants of the picnic lunch they’d just enjoyed strewn about with little care, both of their minds suitably occupied with other pursuits.

“Adrien,” Marinette breathed in his ear.

“Mm, yeah?” He murmured, chasing her lips with his own, craving the sweetness of the strawberry lip balm she wore. To his frustration, her mouth remained just out of reach, the warm puffs of her breath taunting him with their nearness.

“Adrien, wake up,” she leaned forward, placing featherlight kisses onto each of his eyelids.

His eyes fluttered.

“Five more minutes,” he mumbled into the hollow between her collarbones, his tongue willing to promise her anything if it meant that she would stay close to him for even a moment longer.

He eyed the soft skin before him, licking his lips.

I wonder what she tastes like…

“No more minutes!” Marinette’s hands came to rest on either side of his head as the earth roiled beneath them. The feeling of warm sunlight on his skin shifted, settling more heavily across his chest, almost like a physical weight.

“Noooo,” Adrien said, his eyes slipping open. He squinted blearily against the brightness.

And there she was, exactly as she had been moments prior. Haloed by the morning light streaming through the windows, her long dark hair dangling loose between them, blue eyes bright and more beautiful than even the most vivid summer sky.

“Mari?” He breathed, hardly daring to believe that she was there in front of him. Had he willed her into being? His heart swelled, pressing against the underside of his sternum as though longing to be closer to her.

“Am I dreaming right now?”

“Nope, not a dream,” Marinette said, her voice surprisingly tender. “Your dad sent me to wake you up.”

Adrien paused, his fond feelings dissipating like smoke. “My...dad?”

Why would Dream Marinette bring up my father at a time like this? Adrien frowned. Talk about a buzz kill.

Her eyes twinkling as she stared down at him, Marinette’s lips stretched into a slow smirk. The expression was unwittingly enticing.

Well, Adrien could acknowledge, the whole situation certainly had the makings of a scene out of one of his better dreams. Except the dialogue didn’t quite match up. It continued to play back to his sleep-addled brain like a badly dubbed martial arts film, which could only mean one thing.

He most likely wasn’t asleep at all.

Adrien groaned, trying to shake off his lingering foggy-headedness.

“Mm, probably not a dream then. If it was, you definitely wouldn’t be talking to me about my father...”

As he gradually came to wakefulness, Adrien grew increasingly aware of his physical state, noting that he wasn’t on a picnic blanket but rather his bed, which was to be expected.

What was less expected, however, was the way that Marinette sat astride him, in a position that looked like it had come straight out of one of his most risqué fantasies.

Adrien blinked several times, trying to dispel the image.

Nope, she was still there, straddling his lap triple X style.

His brain promptly stopped functioning.

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

“What the hell are you doing?” He blurted, wincing as his voice almost broke.

“Waking you up, what does it look like?” Marinette tilted her head, wearing the same look of innocent confusion he had seen her don a million times before. It was clear by her expression that she genuinely had not clued in to the suggestive nature of their current position, or the effect it was having on his body.

Adrien glanced down involuntarily, tracing the pale expanse of her bare thighs with his gaze, riveted by the way her muscles flexed as she braced herself above him.  

Sweet lord in heaven help me. A familiar stirring began in his lower abdomen, a telltale heat that had nothing to do with the temperature of the room creeping through him.

This sensation was helped along quite significantly by Marinette, who chose that exact moment to settle herself more snugly atop him, lining their hips up in a way that would leave very little of his current predicament to the imagination.

And so, Adrien did what any reasonable, levelheaded individual would in his position.

He panicked.

Scrambling out from underneath her, Adrien executed an improvised judo throw that had Marinette sprawled at the foot of the bed between one blink and the next, her limbs splayed out like a starfish.

She let out a surprised huff.

Immediately retreating as far as he could across the king-sized mattress, Adrien clutched the blankets to his chest protectively, shielding himself from view.

Marinette propped herself up on her elbows, hair askew and expression indignant.

“Hey! What was that for?”

“Have you ever heard,” Adrien ground out through clenched teeth, scowling just as furiously back at her. “Of this thing called personal space?”

“Have you ever heard of just asking someone to get off of you instead of attempting to launch them into outer space?” Marinette sniped back, rolling off the bed and flouncing over to his computer chair. She plonked herself down with a put-upon sigh.

Adrien examined her closely, his eyes narrowing as a new thought occurred.

“What are you doing here anyway?” He asked, cutting straight to the chase. “You definitely didn’t come all the way over here just to see me.” Because as much as I might wish that were the case, at this point I know better. He did his best to swallow down the bitterness that accompanied this thought.

“I might have,” Marinette shifted in her seat, her gaze darting off to the side. It was one of her many ‘I am up to no good’ tells.  

Adrien merely stared back, unconvinced.

Gonna have to do better than that, Princess, he willed his expression to say.

Marinette, to her credit, appeared to pick up the unspoken message fairly quickly, judging by the way she abruptly switched tracks.

“Okay, so that’s not why I came over, but it’s definitely an added bonus,” she said sweetly, batting her eyelashes and levelling him with a look that Adrien knew was meant to lower his defenses, and still had him turning into putty anyway.

This girl has me wrapped around her little finger and she doesn’t even know it. He withheld a sigh. At this point, she could probably tell me to jump off a bridge and I would just say ‘Sure, which one?’.

Oblivious to his existential strife, Marinette went on.

“You and I,” she announced, with a great deal of self-importance. “Are going swimming.”

“Huh?”

Adrien could now confidently state that he was well and truly thrown, his brain scrambling to make sense of a conversation that was rapidly devolving.  

“Swimming?” He glanced at the alarm clock on his bedside table. “At nine in the morning?”

“Never too early to start!” Marinette leapt to her feet, her smile maniacally bright even in the face of his dubiety.

One of Adrien’s brows rose.

“Did you even bring a bathing suit?”

“Oh! Thanks for the reminder.” Marinette said with a snap of her fingers. Then, to Adrien’s horror, she reached for the hem of her t-shirt.

His heart stopped beating.

“AHHHHH STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” He cried, throwing his hands up to cover his eyes.

Oh my god, is she planning on stripping right in front of me?!

Although nudity was part and parcel of being involved in the fashion industry—and Adrien had seen more than his fair share of naked bodies backstage at shows and in photoshoots—this felt… completely different.

Far more personal. Intimate, even.  

Probably because you actually want to see her naked, a little voice in the back of his head chimed in, causing heat to creep up the back of his neck.  

“Relax, you dork, I have a tank top on.” Marinette snorted. “Your father would never forgive me if I compromised your virtue. Heaven forbid it affect your dowry.”

Finally daring to risk a glance, Adrien peeked at her through his fingers. Only for his breath to seize in his chest at the sight that met his eyes.

Marinette stood before him, one hip cocked and both corners of her lips curling upwards in a grin. The muscles of her bare abdomen flexed, drawing his attention to her smooth pale skin and surprisingly toned abs.

She looked like something straight out of his wildest dreams.

She was trying to kill him.

Adrien’s hands went slack, falling to the bed with a heavy thump.

“What are you wearing?”

And there was the voice crack he’d been staving off. Hopefully Marinette hadn’t noticed.  

Based on the way her eyes lit up, however, Marinette absolutely had noticed. Thankfully, she had the grace not to mention it, casting her gaze to her outfit instead.

“A top?” Her brows furrowed slightly as she fidgeted, running her hands down the front of her shirt self-consciously.

“What’s wrong with my top?” She asked, turning the full force of her blue-eyed stare onto him. Adrien almost gulped. ”I thought it looked cute.”

That’s entirely the problem, he wanted to say. It looked amazing on her. So much so that he couldn’t seem to collect his thoughts; the threads of his composure unravelling the longer he stared at her in her adorably distracting pink crop top.

“Of course it does. You’re wearing it,” the words slipped out before he could second-guess them, surprising even him with their sincerity. Adrien averted his gaze, feeling himself flush.

From the corner of his eye, he watched Marinette’s face go slack, her own cheeks pinkening.

Great, now we’re both embarrassed, Adrien swallowed back a groan, wanting nothing more than to burrow back down into his blankets and hide there for a week.

This, unfortunately, did not appear to be an option, in light of the fact that Marinette was still standing there, blinking down at him dumbly.

At last, she cleared her throat.

“ANYWAY,” she said loudly, crossing her arms. This only served to draw Adrien’s attention back to her chest, and her sculpted muscles, and her smooth skin, and oh—  

“Do you need me to help you get up?”

Heat throbbed through him, pooling in his abdomen in a way that was completely unavoidable now.

No, I think I’ve done a good enough job of ‘getting up’ on my own, thanks.

Adrien groaned miserably, whipping the covers over his head.

“Can you just...go and wait downstairs or something?” He closed his eyes, practically burning with embarrassment. “I need a minute.”

Although he couldn’t see her, Adrien felt the way that Marinette paused, clearly wanting to pry.

In the end, though, she thought better of it, much to his relief.

“Fine, have it your way,” she sniffed. “Meet me by the pool in ten, you weirdo.”

All he could do was let out a strangled grunt in reply.

-x-

After a cold shower and something to eat, Adrien was feeling in much higher spirits. Regardless of what her motivations might be, Marinette was there to hang out with him, and Adrien intended to make the most of this unforeseen opportunity.

He traipsed through the house with a newfound pep in his step, collecting all of the items he thought they might need before making his way outside.

Shoving the last bite of his tasteless, nutrient-dense breakfast into his mouth, Adrien slid the patio door open with gusto, glancing behind him to make sure none of his treasures were caught in the doorway.

“Hey,” he heard Marinette call, her voice sounding oddly thick to his ears. Adrien glanced her way, concerned that her allergies might be acting up again.

“You okay?” He tried to ask, forgetting that his mouth was full. What emerged was something more along the lines of “Mmpft!”

He attempted to clarify, only to forget that his mouth was still, in fact, full of food.

“Mruhhg?”

Real smooth, Agreste, he congratulated himself, catching the look of distaste Marinette threw him over the rim of her sunglasses. He winced apologetically, making sure to chew and swallow before he spoke again.

“Why aren’t you swimming?” He asked, throwing the things in his arms into the pool with reckless abandon. She was the one who had wanted to go swimming after all, and it was quite warm on the patio. The sun beat down mercilessly from overhead, already heating the skin of his shoulders even though he’d only been outside for a few moments. Marinette must have been cooking alive on that lounge chair.

Adrien examined her surreptitiously. Perhaps she’d been waiting for him to join her? The thought caused a little flutter in his chest.  

“I changed my mind,” Marinette responded simply, sounding distracted. “I’m going to tan first.”  

Although her blue eyes were hidden behind the dark lenses of her sunglasses, Adrien was willing to bet they were trained intently on the doors behind him, waiting to see if Félix might make an appearance.

Typical. Adrien withheld a scoff, ruthlessly tamping down on his disappointed feelings. Of course Marinette was hoping Félix would show up. She was always hoping Félix would show up.

Not that it would matter, Adrien thought, somewhat unkindly. The chances of Félix joining them were virtually slim to none, seeing how his brother was A) allergic to the sun and B) morally opposed to anything that could be deemed conventionally fun or enjoyable.

Opening his mouth to tell her as much, Adrien paused at the last second, thinking better of it. There was no sense in crushing her hopes. Félix would do a perfectly good job of that on his own.

Instead, Adrien turned his attention to his phone, scrolling through until he found a playlist that he thought suited the atmosphere.

Shooting Marinette one last look, he took in the way she had settled back against the cushions, pretending to be engrossed in her magazine. It was obvious that she had no intention of joining him any time soon, preferring to wait for his wayward brother to rear his grumpy, overly-pomaded head.

Her loss, he concluded with a shrug, and dove into the water.

It was the perfect temperature—cool and refreshing on his sun-warmed skin. Adrien sighed contentedly.

Schemes and subterfuge aside, this was an excellent idea.

He floated on his back for a while, enjoying the sun on his face and the way the water cradled his body gently, keeping him from overheating. The music continued steadily in the background, occasionally becoming muffled whenever his ears were submerged. It was a strange effect, like slipping in and out of different worlds; his senses sharpening and dulling in equal measure.

Eventually, he crawled up on one of the pool floaties he’d brought, his eyes slipping closed as he basked in the beautiful summer weather.

Marinette must be sweltering by this point, Adrien mused idly, his lips quirking into a smirk as he waited for her to give in to the inevitable. She was a prideful creature, but even she could only resist the siren song of the water for so long.

In fact, Adrien was just about to say as much when he heard the sound of the patio door sliding open. His head shot up, eyes widening as he took in the unlikely sight of his brother voluntarily emerging from the darkness of the house into the bright sunlight.

You have got to be kidding me… Adrien glanced between his brother and Marinette, his jaw slack with disbelief. Marinette appeared to be just as shocked, her pink lips parted as she stared unwaveringly in Félix’s direction.

Unlike the two of them, however, Félix appeared to be all business, his tone brusque as he pinned Adrien in place with his gaze.  

“Adrien, Father wanted me to inform you to keep your schedule clear for tomorrow evening. We are expected at the Bourgeois’ for dinner.”

Joy of joys. Adrien tipped his head back with a groan. As if he didn’t already have enough to deal with. So much for our ‘vacation’.

“Seriously?” He sat up, the pool floaty squeaking indignantly beneath him. “Father knows how much we hate going on his ‘work dinners.’ It’s just a bunch of people schmoozing with each other even though everyone hates everyone else's guts!”

The look on Félix’s face perfectly reflected the disgruntlement Adrien himself was feeling.

“Unfortunately, it was not a request.”  

A battle plan loosely forming in his head, Adrien began to ply his brother for more information, wanting to have as comprehensive an idea of what they were walking into as possible. These types of events required extensive reconnaissance—flying in blind was practically a guaranteed death sentence, after all.

Félix rattled off a list of attendees, each worse than the last.

“So, basically this is going to be hell on earth,” Adrien grimaced, running a hand roughly through his hair.

One corner of Félix’s mouth lifted ever so slightly. “In effect, yes.”

Catching movement from the corner of his eye, Adrien turned, watching as Marinette rose slowly and deliberately from her seat. She’d been suspiciously silent up until this point, a fact which Adrien had noted with no small amount of curiosity. It was obvious that she’d been biding her time, the question had just been: For what?

And as Adrien watched her hands wander to the hem of her crop top, her fingers curling around the edge of the fabric, he began to get the sinking suspicion he was about to find out, whether he wanted to or not.

His eyes widened. Is she actually—?

In one smooth motion, she pulled her shirt over her head, unveiling the red string bikini top beneath.

Adrien nearly capsized his pizza float, such was the force of his double take.

He stared, transfixed, as Marinette balled her shirt up in one hand, turning her back to them as she removed her shorts with agonizing slowness, revealing the matching red bottoms to go with her top. Her shorts fell to the ground with a soft thump, and Adrien’s heart all but seized in his chest when she bent to pick them up—unable to tear his gaze away from what was fast becoming the single greatest moment of his entire life.  

Marinette straightened, silky black hair sliding over her bare shoulders as she tossed her head, turning to face them head-on once more.  

Who is this woman, and what has she done with Marinette Dupain-Cheng? Adrien marvelled from some distant corner of his mind, one that wasn’t currently busy ogling his childhood best friend turned Bond girl vixen.

Her red bikini left little to the imagination, drawing his attention to the curves that had most assuredly not been there last summer. Adrien eyed the strings dancing over her hips. She hadn’t even tied them taut.  

He bit his lip, his pulse picking up.

For the second time that day, Adrien wondered whether he was still asleep and caught in the most vivid lucid dream he’d ever experienced.

He quickly dismissed the idea, shooting a glance at his equally speechless brother. If this was a dream, then Félix definitely wouldn’t be here to witness it.

When it became apparent that neither he nor Félix were any closer to finding words to string together into a coherent sentence, Marinette smirked.

“Félix, so nice of you to join us,” she purred, pushing her glasses up on top of her head and revealing her crystalline blue eyes. She sauntered closer, her gaze never leaving his brother’s face. “I hope you brought your bathing suit,” she said, her voice dipping into overtly flirtatious territory.  

To his dismay, Félix responded in kind, giving Marinette a slow once-over that had Adrien’s hands clenching into fists in his lap. “I appear to be overdressed for the occasion.”

She’s not your girlfriend, you can’t punch your brother in the face. She’s not your girlfriend, you can’t punch your brother in the face. She’s not your girlfriend—  

Marinette giggled, lightly pushing at Félix’s shoulder, as though he’d just made some kind of hilarious joke. “No biggie... I’m sure we can figure something out.”

—YOU CAN’T PUNCH YOUR BROTHER IN THE FACE.

Adrien’s stomach roiled as the butterflies he’d been feeling earlier were systematically rounded up and murdered, execution-style.

Unable to take it any longer, he slipped into the water as noiselessly as possible, wading towards the edge of the pool.

If I’m forced to watch the two of them together for even a moment longer, Adrien thought, lining himself up for the perfect shot. I’m either going to revisit my breakfast, or become another victim of spontaneous human combustion.

Too caught up in their flirtation to notice his furtive movements, neither Marinette nor Félix paid him any mind—a fact which came back to bite them in the ass the moment he launched himself into the water, sending a massive wave crashing over them, drenching them where they stood and summarily dousing the flames of their ardour.  

“AGH!”

Adrien floated to the surface to the sound of their indignant screams, opening his eyes to take in the aftermath of his (admittedly spectacular) sneak attack.

Marinette and Félix both glared down at him, looking distinctly soggy and extremely pissed off about it.

Adrien hid his smirk beneath the water’s surface, before schooling his expression into something more innocuous.

“Whoopsies,” he blinked up at them, adopting a wide-eyed and guileless look.

From their expressions, it was clear that his faux-innocent act didn’t have them fooled for a second. Marinette in particular was shooting laser beams at him, her right eye twitching so violently it was almost enough to get Adrien to break, his chest shaking with the effort it took to hold back his laughter. Félix for his part just looked annoyed as he fingered his drenched clothes with disgust. He wasn’t a fan of water on the best of days, and this incident had no doubt cemented his distaste.

Good, Adrien thought vindictively, too self-satisfied to be bothered by the rude gesture Félix lobbed at him. His shoes squelched comically as he stomped towards the house, and it was all Adrien could do to not burst out laughing at the sound.  

“Are you coming to the party tonight?” Marinette called after him, her question ringing out just a little too loudly to be casual.

Profoundly uninterested in his brother’s undoubtedly vague and cryptic response, Adrien instead focused on her face, chronicling the micro-expressions as they flitted across her features swifter than a hummingbird’s wings. Anticipation and adoration melted into dejected disappointment before the entire canvas was being wiped clean; genuine emotion hidden away behind a smile that was a little too shiny and a little too wide to be believable.

Marinette’s shoulders slumped as Félix disappeared into the house, the door closing with a thunk behind him.

Adrien shifted guiltily on his floaty, the rubber squeaking at him as though in reproach.

Okay, so maybe that was a dick move…  

Still, he knew just the thing to snap her out of her funk.  

“Was it something I did?” He asked lightly, waiting for the explosion.

Like clockwork, Marinette whirled on him with a growl, her hair whipping around her face. Her eyes were alight with righteous fury, all traces of sadness gone from her posture now that she had a target for her rage.

“YOU ABSOLUTE NUMPTY!” She hollered, her hands curling into claws in front of her as she loomed above him. “You drenched him, that’s what you did!”

Adrien knew he was tempting fate, but he couldn’t resist one last barb. The opportunity was just too good to pass up.

“It’s not my fault he’s such a wet blanket.”

Marinette bristled, her hair practically standing on end. Sensing that it would behoove him to flee, Adrien began frantically paddling away, his pizza throne quickly becoming a prison as he floundered in the water, trapped like a sitting duck.

With a shriek of impotent rage, Marinette lunged for him.

Perhaps the pun was a bit too much, Adrien acknowledged, right before his floaty was upended, and he was plunged into the cool blue water once more.

-x-

#ml fanfic #miraculous ladybug #ml fanworks #adrienette #adrien agreste #marinette dupain-cheng #ml fic #miraculous fanfic #ml fic recs #no miraculous au #ml brothers au #adrinette #childhood friends au #ongoing fic #theoretically forever #hypothetically ever after #HEA verse #my fics

[chthonic-cassandra]

I have so many Queen of the Damned thoughts that I'm not even sure where to start, and expect I could quite easily wear out your interest if I share them all. It's such a messy novel, and a lot of parts, in particular of the central Lestat and Akasha plot line, just don't work. But I enjoy its sprawl, its expansive world building, so many of the details (the vampire bars, Marius' ridiculous fish tank, the Amadeo portrait in the Talamasca archives).

The little novella-type episodes that make up the first half are compelling (as of course is generally agreed to be true about Daniel and Armand in Devil's Minion, but I also really like Jesse's section, and I find Baby Jenks, this intruder from another type of vampire story, interesting and moving). I have a lot of problems with Rice's use of Egypt and the ancient middle east (as should all reasonable people), but I adore everything we get of Maharet. The Talamasca are interesting before we get to all the David Talbot all the time in the next books.

I don't know whether Anne Rice intended the irony in showing us Akasha, perpetrator of imperialist torture and sexual violence, positioning herself as the one who will end all violence against women through the wholesale murder of men. With most other authors I would think this was deliberate and pointed, but with Rice you never know - she may just have created present day!Akasha as a simplistic antifeminist stereotype and not actually thought about it. The role of gender in these books is so fucking weird. Also the role of religion.

It's odd to reread the Marius-Armand-Santino glimpses we get in this book with the additional context of TVA and B&G, to see how little we get here of any of them actually talking directly or working out their shared histories. Marius' thoughts about Armand throughout and particularly during their reunion are very recognizable and persuasive as those of a self-justifying csa perpetrator. I need to keep sitting with the question of why the representation of traumatic bonding in their relationship is so much more viscerally off-putting for me than other fictional depictions. There are obvious answers (Marius is very Roman, and very dedicated to twisting his narratives so that he is always the put-upon hero), but I'll think about it more as I get into the later books.

Funny, all the background vampires who Rice acts as if she's given us more context for but is really just dropping into this book: Mael, Pandora, Eric who seems to just be here to be anxious about everything. Still can't figure out what Khayman's deal is, though, speaking of traumatic bonding, there could have something interesting in the warped Mekare-Khayman-Maharet triangle of their turning, if Rice had been willing to go there.

#vc reread