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gamerdamemedia · 3 years

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Test Case

So, for a couple weeks now I made a fatal mistake for all fanfic writers: I watched something different that inspired a story idea, & I haven’t been able to get it out of my head & distracting me from other things. So, as I write to exorcise ideas from my head to make space, I decided to put pen to paper this afternoon... or fingers to keyboard, I guess, & write some of it out. Not sure I’ll actually ever share it, as it might stay just my personal pet project, but I figured I could at least share the start. Even writers needs a little side project just for their own enjoyment. Now that studying is done & I’m back from vacation, hopefully I can get back to some regular schedule. I’ve been out of sorts during this crunch time before the big test.

In the grand scheme of the cosmos, freezing to death while drifting along the Etherium wasn't the worst way to go. She could think of many worse ways to die after being spaced. She could fall into the vacuum of space and suffocate, or stray too close to a star and get pulled in by its gravitational force to burn up, sucked into a black hole, or starve (or more likely die from dehydration). But it seemed fate had seen fit to deal her a slightly kinder hand. A hand that still said she was screwed, but only in the gentlest way. With fancy silk sheets and plenty of lubrication.

She would've laughed, but that would exacerbate the splitting headache she already had, so she settled for a chuff. Clearly the delirium of losing core body heat was setting in.

It seemed a rather appropriate bookend to her story, short though it may be. Fitting that her last memory should be bobbing freely along the Etherium waves to wherever they deigned to take her, as it was also her earliest. Gazing up at the endless, twinkling abyss, she could almost imagine the hard wooden deck of her grandfather's old longboat beneath her back. Or maybe the rough fabric of his overalls, with the button that always seemed to poke her in her shoulder blade as she reclined against his portly torso. She smiled to herself then. That's a nice thought, she said to herself, letting her head drift back, supported by nothing but the lack of gravity. It was almost enough to fight off the creeping chill that raced ahead of the numbness as her limbs stopped receiving vital blood. She'd always ridden the waves as they came, be them Etherium or fate, letting them take her where they willed. Why should the end be any different? "A man's heart devises his way, but fate directs his steps," her grandfather would say. Smart man, for just a farmer.

The irony wasn't lost on her, even as her brain began to sluggishly flit around poorly connected thoughts. The woman who always had an escape plan, always left a way out... Lady Luck had robbed her of her one vice. Not that she hadn't tried. It was getting out that had landed her in this situation in the first place. She'd booked passage on a small transport ship out of the Calyn Abyss to... actually, she didn't remember where the vessel was enroute to. Away, was all that mattered. A deal had turned particularly sour, and she needed to disappear in hurry. With enough money in the right hands and a vessel about to pull out of port, nobody asked questions. She'd stepped onto that dock as Absence, and left as Tammy Righte.

Things had been going well, until a bit of turbulence from a passing comet had caused some sort of electrical malfunction. As the transport rocked and swayed, the occupants had tied their lifelines, hoping to ride out the waves. That was when everything started blowing. Something must've shorted, creating a fire below deck. She remembered people screaming as the deck shook. A particularly violent blast caused the ship to tilt and lurch, bucking like a mad bonzabeast, throwing her from the deck. She remembered feeling weightless as she escaped the protective sphere of the ship's artificial gravity. The last thing she remembered was something metallic from the ship hitting her squarely in the face before blacking out.

When she woke an unknown amount of time later, she found herself adrift in space, far from anything to save herself with. Her face ached something fierce, and she'd touched it to feel blood. Without gravity, it couldn't really pour, but she felt it oozing with each pounding pulse of her heart, trickling along her face whenever she turned her head.

Despite the name, one couldn't swim through Etherium currents like water. You went wherever they took you. The knock from the ship had sent her essentially careening through space, and she'd keep going that way thanks to the lack of friction unless something intervened. Not wanting to die, as any warm-blooded being wouldn't, she'd tried to find some way to stop or change her course. But she wasn't near anything. Eventually, hypothermia started to set in, and her limbs became too leaden to move. At that point, she'd resigned herself to her fate. Why die tired?

She reached up a hand to wipe the blood trickling in the corner of her eye, but her aim was sloppy due to not being able to feel her hands anymore. Don't spend your last moments thinking about such things, she told herself. Shouldn't her last moments be happy?

Relaxing back into the Etherium, she went back to imagining herself on her grandfather's boat, bobbing along. They'd spent many a'night floating aimlessly in the sky, the green plains of her home rolling peacefully below them in the breeze. As a little girl, she would sometimes lean out over the side of the longboat, so far her grandfather would have to pull her back to stop her from falling. She'd giggle as he tickled her, tucking her safely to his chest. "Tryin' to fly away, little bird?" he'd ask. "Ya' too young for that, yet." Some nights, if the weather was clear, he'd teach her about the different stars and planets. He'd tell her tales about his brief stint in the Navy, or some adventure from his wild youth-- sometimes they'd even be true! Other times, they'd fall asleep drifting, only to wake up in some random place and go on an "adventure" to get back home. Basic navigational and map-reading skills were an essential pick up. He liked to pretend he was teaching her, but she knew better. Man couldn't find his way out of room with a single door some days.

Her favorite nights, though, were when he'd pull out his old harmonica and play for her. On particularly clear, cool nights like this, his tune would be slow, the notes dragging on for long periods before warbling, bobbing like the waves. She always felt like she was rising and falling in time with the tune. Her hand came up to rest on her breast pocket. Despite not having feeling in her fingers anymore, she knew the harmonica was still safe within. She felt its outline pressing into her chest. Briefly, she thought to take it out and play one final song on the old instrument in memorial, but with her hands as they were, she wouldn't be able to play. And she didn't want to lose it. So, she settled for letting her hand rest there, taking comfort in its presence over her heart.

Everything felt heavy now, to the point she almost expected to start sinking. The organ beneath her hand was beginning to slow as it lost the fight to keep her warm. Non-vital organs would start shutting down soon.

She forced her mind back to more times with her grandfather, this time on land. "Don't think you're too good to put your hands to hard work, little bird," he'd tell her... usually while making her do something around the farm he didn't want to do. Chasing down some ornery creature that didn't want to be hemmed up, most likely. Or time spent fishing at Mrs. Neelie's pond. She didn't actually like to fish, didn't have the patience for it, but she always went to watch him. She swore, her grandfather could be in the middle of an ocean, miles from anything else, and still manage to get snagged on something. Or there was the time he tripped coming down the hill and nearly knocked old Mrs. Neelie into the pond. She'd had to sit down, she'd laughed so hard. "Go ahead, laugh at the old man," he’d warned her.

Her laughter melded into a sob at the end, lips pulled back in a grimace. The stars around her shined even brighter in the light of her tears stuck to her lashes. She felt her lower lip wobble. No one was around, what was the point? She allowed herself to cry, flailing in impotent rage. "I don't want to die!" she shouted to the heavens. Maybe this close, someone would actually hear her and take pity.

There would be no one to mourn her, no one to even report her missing. Absence would be hunted for a while until her pursuers gave up and cut their losses. Tammy Righte would be listed as death in absentia, another sad statistic. All her other alias would only be missed when a contact tried to reach her for something, but swiftly forgotten as they looked elsewhere for someone to do their dirty work. Her more frequent clients might wonder, but it would be a passing question, like the fate of a childhood schoolmate. She'd ghosted through life, taking different names along the way. She went through names like normal people went through clothes: you pick one as needs demand, it gets a little too dirty, discard it and pick out a new one. So many names and alias and identities. Her real name safely locked away.

There was no one left who knew who she really was.

The brief burst of indignation warmed her a little, but the almost absolute zero temperature of space just as quickly sapped it from her, the cold once again cradling her in its loving embrace. Fear threatened to creep up faster than the cold. She'd never been the religious sort. She didn't know if there was anything after this. But if there was, she was sure she'd be going to same place as her grandfather, and that thought offered some bittersweet comfort. Likely not heaven, but if he was there that would be heaven enough. She wrapped her arms around herself as best she could, imagining it was the warm embrace of her grandfather. Droplets floated up from her lashes as she smiled. She'd held his hand when he died, a smile on his face. She kinda wished she had someone to hold her hand, now. "Meet me at the bar, old man," she whispered. "I'm buying this time." Then she closed her eyes, letting her thoughts drift to happier times as the cold, gentle embrace of death shrouded her.

#writing #side project #pilot #curious if anyone will know what this is even from #fiction #fanfiction

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whiteshipnightjar · 4 years

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Is there something you’ve learned from Joanna’s music or Joanna herself?

I think the most important thing I’ve learned (or maybe at least strengthened my belief in) from Joanna and her music is to approach everything and everyone with kindness and love. To try to see the good before you judge the bad.

"Maybe a good goal would be to just at least always try to create something good, like something that is connected to love in some way. [...] You can make a decision to be kind. You can make a decision to, greet people kindly, and make jokes with people and connect. Or you can make a decision to be mean, and then every decision you make has these ripples... [...] That's what I would like to do with a show, to make, maybe, people feel a little better."

And this goes together with another thing that means the absolute world to me, the idea that we can make the world a nicer kinder more beautiful place starting with ourselves. We should try to build and nurture our own pretty little worlds, surround yourself with people and experiences, life itself that make your days lighter, that bring you joy. And it’s such a never-ending process that we shouldn’t worry or be scared that we can’t “achieve our goals” at the same time that someone else does.

"The key, I believe, for pulling yourself out of the limbo of not knowing who you are or not embracing who you are, is to love something enough to not care. Sometimes it takes us a long time to find it. There are so many things out there, there's so much nuance to being human beings, it sometimes takes a really long time to locate it."

And just the quote "I wasn't interested in writing music that wasn't beautiful for me to listen to" is so true too. Yes, make things, build connections, that are beautiful to you.

A little while ago someone asked me how I understood the line “Love is not a symptom of time, time is just a symptom of love“ and those lyrics are very important to me too. Maybe it sounds cheesy but I do wholeheartedly and completely believe that love is the meaning of life, that we should proceed with our lives hearts full of love because love is everything. Maybe I come across as a hopeless romantic but that’s my truth. And I find Joanna to be living a life of love and full of love. And I think that’s beautiful. It’s true happiness. I won’t repeat everything I wrote there but here it is if you’re interested :)

When I think of what I’ve learned from Joanna’s music, oh... the lessons are endless. One of the feelings or realizations (I can’t call them ideas because only Joanna knows the true ideas and thoughts behind every song and I can only find my truths in them) to me personally is that in every heartbreaking song that shatters my heart every time I listen to them (and yet I keep coming back to them over and over again) there's a sense of acceptance. Maybe it doesn't necessarily offer closure or solution to your pain but it opens your mind, let's you see your own reality clearer. I think that's true of any art that has an effect on you personally. That, for me, is so important. I'd love to have closure for some things or experiences, closure that I realize I will never have, but I can take solace and comfort in just simply seeing those things and experiences clearer. Sometimes you naturally get that in retrospect, time is a powerful force. But sometimes you need art, another person, anything that you can give your whole trust and heart to, to help you see it. And those songs give that to me. In a way they work like a mirror to me. I think this quote by Joanna also encapsulates that feeling:

"The thing that I was experiencing and dwelling on the entire time is that there are so many things that are not OK and that will never be OK again. But there's also so many things that are OK and good that sometimes it makes you crumple over with being alive. We are allowed such insane depth of beauty and enjoyment in this lifetime. It's what my dad talks about sometimes. He says the only way that he knows there's a God is that there's so much gratuitous joy in this life. And that's his only proof. There's so many joys that do not assist in the propagation of the race or self-preservation. There's no point whatsoever. They are so excessively, mind-bogglingly joy-producing that they distract from the very functions that are supposed to promote human life. They can leave you stupefied, monastic, not productive in any way, shape or form. And those joys are there and they are unflagging and they are ever-growing. And still there are these things that you will never be able to feel OK about - unbearably awful, sad, ugly, unfair things." (Sometimes, I get whiplash reading her words haha her mind to me is so goddarn beautiful. I meaaaan... I’m forever in awe.)

And also, one of the most essential things that I agree with Joanna on is that you shouldn’t take yourself too seriously, you should let yourself live.

"If you are too serious, you are in danger of having everything take at face value, instead of being allowed to have layers to it." Isn’t this the realest thing ever? I try to live by it every day. Every life needs a little silliness. Honestly, she’s just the most wonderful.

These are some of the things Joanna has taught me. I’ll leave with this important message that I think a lot of us can carry in our hearts:

“I wasn't born of a whistle, or milked from a thistle at twilight.No; I was all horns and thorns, sprung out fully formed, knock-kneed and upright.So: enough of this terror.We deserve to know light,And grow evermore lighter and lighter.”

#me with the ever too long answers once again...#but honestly? thank you so much for this beautiful question #i feel like this is something i needed right now and you helped me to set my heart a little more at ease #thank you <3 #i hope this is at least somewhat clear and not too confusing haha #have a sweet day ❤️#q and a #anonymous #joanna newsom

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padfootagain · 5 years

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The Flower Shop Around The Corner (V)

Part 5: Decisions To Be Taken

Here we go with a new chapter for this series! After the previous chapter, we need to take these two back on track, don't you think ;)

Alright, here we go! I hope you all like this :)

Gif not mine

Word Count: 3508

Chris couldn't help but be relieved that it was Saturday and he wouldn't have to see you at work. He didn't think he could have handled seeing you face to face after what had happened in the café. He didn't have the strength to play an act, and pretend that he wasn't Wallet Guy. Besides, he just didn't want to see you. He had his own disappointment to deal with.

He was angry against himself, actually. He was mad at himself for getting so involved in this grotesque joke. What had he been thinking in the first place? That it was a good idea to build such expectations upon a perfect stranger? That he was going to meet the woman of his dreams through letters exchanged in a flower shop? What kind of delusional idiot had he been? He didn't live in a world of romance and fairytales, reality was much cruder and crueller than that.

He finally stood up, leaving his bed, wearing nothing but his dark underwear. His hair a mess and fatigue deforming his features, colouring the skin under his eyes, he had not slept at all the previous night. He had laid there on his bed for hours, playing the whole scene over and over in his head, and thinking about how things could have unravelled if he had made different choices…

What if he had been kinder?

What if he had walked in as the Wallet Guy anyway?

But then again, he guessed that both options would have turned badly as well.

He reached for the box in which he had put all your letters. All these little notes you had left for him were gathered in that red shoebox he kept in his closet. He walked to the kitchen and opened the bin, ready to throw them all away. There was no use in keeping them. He had fallen for a dream, a chimera, a reverie, nothing real… It was all a travesty in the end, and he needed to get it out of his system, as if he had to sober up after a night spent drinking whiskey.

He was about to throw them all away. All your letters. He had opened the box and held it above the empty bin. But instead of throwing the papers away, he kept on staring at them. He looked at your handwriting tracing the words Wallet Guy.

He was surprised by the sob that shook his whole frame.

How could he care so much for someone he didn't like in real life?

But then… then these letters were real life too, he reckoned. They told the story of another part of your life, perhaps even deeper thoughts and secrets than the ones you shared with your friends. That's what he had been doing in his letters for you. This woman he had fallen for through these words was still there in you, he just needed to find her.

He took a few steps back, until he turned around and walked back to his bed, still holding the box filled with your letters.

He randomly picked one up, unfolded it and started to read it. You were talking about how strange it felt to always be moving because of your career. Now, he understood why. And the words echoed in his heart in such a way… because he felt exactly the same. It was as if you were speaking words he had longed to let out himself but had never been able to express. You were just speaking the way he felt.

He opened another, and he found himself in your words again. How you felt like the world was changing in a bad way. How everything was going too fast these days…

He spent the rest of the morning reading your letters. By the end of it, his eyes were red with tears, but his heart and mind were much more peaceful than before.

He couldn't give up on Peony Girl. He couldn't give up on this wonderful, kind and smart woman he had found. She was inside you, he just needed to find her.

In one of your letters, you had mentioned that you had a tendency to build walls around yourself. You struggled to let people in your little world. And now, Chris guessed that it was exactly what you did with him at work. You were acting cold because you were pushing him away.

Well then, all he had to do was break this wall of yours and he was sure to find Peony inside.

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The plan was simple. He had to learn to know you better as Y/N instead of Peony. Meanwhile, the Wallet Guy would keep writing to Peony Girl as if nothing had happened. And if he did find the precious Peony in Y/N then… well, then he would figure that out later on. One problem at a time was enough to solve.

As he walked through the busy street, along the border of Central Park, the sun was still hot and bright in this lovely evening. A soft breeze made the trees speak up and leaves whisper, blowing through his hair and carrying pieces of paper through its whirlwind. If it had not been from the pollution of the many cars and the speedy rhythm of New York City, Chris would have found the world most relaxing tonight.

But his nerves were breaking as he advanced towards the flower shop with Dodger. He noticed that he was pulling on his leash a little, and forced himself to slow down.

What if you didn’t come back to the flower shop? What if you gave up on him?

He couldn’t blame you if you did. After all, you were certain that he had not showed up the day before. This time, he reckoned you had a good reason to hate him.

As he opened the door, Carlotta's glare was enough to make him understand that he was not going to have a good time tonight. She finished taking care of her customer, a young man buying a romantic bouquet of red roses, and she waited for him to walk out of her shop to cross her arms before her chest.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she bluntly asked.

"What do you mean?" Chris feigned ignorance, but her glare only intensified.

"You didn't show! Why on Earth would you not go?! She waited for you for THREE HOURS!"

Chris winced, but also raised a soothing hand towards Carlotta. Her black eyes stared at him expectantly, her tanned skin turned a little redder than usual by anger.

"It's more complicated than this," he replied.

"There is nothing complicated about all this, Chris."

"I went."

"What?!"

She frowned hard, questions filling her stare.

"I went. I was there right on time."

"What… what happened then? Why did you not go talk to her?"

"I did go. I did talk with her."

"I don't understand."

"Did she mention one of her colleagues speaking with her while she waited?"

Carlotta stuttered, taken aback.

"Well… yes, as a matter of fact, she did. She said that he was very annoying."

"Yeah… I guess I can't deny that I was."

"WHAT?!"

She looked at him with her eyes wide-opened.

"I know her, Carlotta. In real life, I mean. I know her. We work together. And in a daily life, we can't stand each other. I…"

His voice broke and it took him a few seconds to collect himself again. Carlotta's gaze softened and she visibly relaxed, her shoulders dropping a little.

"I couldn't just… get in and tell her the truth. So, I played her colleague instead of Wallet Guy. And then I left. I didn't know what to do. I needed to think."

"She was so sad, Chris," Carlotta shook her head. "She was crying…"

She reached behind her counter and handed him a red envelope.

"I think she meant it as a farewell letter… she seemed quite… devastated."

Chris's jaw clenched at her words, but he took the letter anyway and tore the envelope open. And as he went through the letter, he could feel your pain oozing from the ink, from every letter traced, from every word drawn upon the page.

He had hurt you and he felt so guilty and disappointed in himself for it.

Wallet Guy,

I will not pretend that nothing happened. I will not start this letter the way I have begun so many others. I will not describe for you some beautiful detail I've seen this morning, nor a funny story, nor even complain about work or annoying friends.

Instead, I will be honest with you. I am so disappointed.

I don't understand what happened last night. You wanted to meet me, you proposed to do so. In your letters, you seemed happy and eager to finally see me face to face. So why have you not come?

I waited for you in this café. I watched couples walk in and out, old friends chatting and catching up on lost time. I've watched so many people spending their evening in laughter while I was waiting on my own. And the worst part in all of this is not even the way I felt. How stupid and terribly hurt I felt then. No, the worst part is that I do not know why.

Why did you not come?

Perhaps it is all my fault. If I were to be honest, I have let myself drift off towards a fond friendship towards you during these past weeks, maybe even more than that. Perhaps I was simply a fool to think that you felt the same way. I might have put my hopes too high and I should have known that an Icarus always falls back to the ground.

You have made my stay in New York so much more enjoyable than I could have dreamt of. And with time, I will keep a fond memory of you as my stranger writing me beautiful letters in a flower shop. But I reckon that if your behaviour speaks for the man you truly are, I was mistaken about you, to some extent, at least.

I wish things had been different. Once at home during the night, I imagined a million reasons for you not to come. I invented crazy scenarios and created stories to explain why you had left me there. An accident, an unknown sickness, even a burglary at your home, everything that I could come up with was used as an excuse. But now that the sun is up and my head a little clearer again, I know this isn't true, and you probably didn't have an excuse. And perhaps you even did come to the café, but walked away when you saw me. Perhaps I wasn't what you had imagined. If you were so superficial last night to reject me altogether solely on appearances, then perhaps it was for the best that you broke my heart so early on, after all.

All this to say that I guess you made the choice of saying goodbye yesterday. I hope for you that you will not regret it. I will not come back to the flower shop, so there is no need to leave me a letter.

I guess the dream is over.

Farewell, Wallet Guy.

When the droplet fell and stained the red paper, Chris didn't even understand it came from his own eyes. He sniffed, dried his wet cheeks and clenched his jaw until pain crossed his whole face.

"Yes, well… that was to be expected," Carlotta mumbled under her breath, crossing her arms before herself again.

"I know."

His voice was made hoarse by tears, and he needed to dry his cheeks with the back of his hand again before looking up at Carlotta. By his side, Dodger had felt Chris's distress, and was now softly rubbing his snout against his leg in a comforting gesture, his eyes a little sad and crying softly. Chris patted his companions' head a couple of times in a reassuring way.

"Could you give me a pen and some paper, please?"

"I am not sure she will come again… what does she say in her letter?"

"She says that she won't come back."

"Then perhaps you shouldn't…"

"I have to. I have to try. In case she comes back anyway."

There was something in his eyes, a mixture of hope and intense pain close to despair, that made Carlotta give in, and she handed him all he would need to write.

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Monday came. You struggled out of bed, but you got up anyway. You hadn't realized that you hadn't changed the time of your alarm clock. There was no need to get up so early, you wouldn't go back to the flower shop.

If getting out of bed had been a struggle, every step from there was a battle against yourself too. From eating your breakfast to taking a shower and dressing up, so in the end, you were happy to have gotten up early, as everything you did seemed to take an eternity.

When you arrived at work, Chris acted as if nothing had happened. As if he didn't know about how your Friday night had ended. He welcomed you with a polite smile that you struggled to return. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't ignore the obvious signs of your sadness, from the look in your eyes to your tired features.

"Are you alright?" he asked with a kinder voice.

"Yeah. Just tired."

"Did something bad happen?"

You let yourself drop in the chair opposite him around the tiny table. All around you, people were hurrying back and forth, preparing the set for the day.

You hadn't talked about what had happened to anyone but Carlotta. And you didn't know why you wanted to tell him everything. You reckoned it would be a little inappropriate, considering you and him didn't exactly get along. But you could feel your emotions bubbling again, tears forming in your eyes and blurring the world around you, and you guessed that you merely needed to tell someone about it, no matter who.

"I… I had a rough weekend."

"What do you mean?"

He hesitated, but asked the question anyway, deciding to look at his cup of coffee instead of you.

"Oh… didn't you have a date on Friday? Did it go well?"

He could see that you were trying not to cry, and his whole being grew more tender towards you. He leaned across the table and searched your eyes with his.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah… huh… he didn't show, actually."

"Oh… I'm so sorry to hear that."

"Yeah, I… I don't know why."

You cleared your throat but kept on talking.

"I… it might sound strange, but we hadn't met yet. I mean…"

You paused, looking for the right words.

"Like… on a dating app or something?" Chris proposed.

"Yeah… a little like that, I guess. And we've… you know we've become quite… at least friends and even… I mean, I hoped for more. It's not like the kind of discussion you have on things like Tinder or something, we… we've been talking for… ever since I came to New York, actually. And he seemed so kind and… But when we were supposed to meet, he didn't show."

You heaved a sigh, brushing away a tear before it could fall and Chris could see it.

"Maybe he just had a good reason," Chris spoke with a reassuring tone. "He didn't warn you?"

"No, he didn't."

"Did he contact you again?"

"I don't know. I don't want to talk to him. I haven't checked."

"Well, perhaps you should check. He might have explained why he didn't come."

"I don't want to. I… I keep on asking myself…"

You looked at him with a strange expression, you seemed to be both curious and anxious of his answer.

"Do you think I'm ugly?"

"What?" was all he managed to reply, taken aback.

"I can't help but think… perhaps he did come, and he just… didn't like me or something, and then he left."

"No, that's not what happened."

You narrowed your eyes at him, and he bit his tongue. He couldn’t let himself slip so easily… He stuttered a little as he tried to give you another answer without letting out the truth this time.

"I mean… It can't be what happened. You're beautiful."

"You really think so?"

"Of course. You're gorgeous, Y/N. If he didn't show, then it has nothing to do with you. Maybe he's just a complete jerk."

"No, he's not," you shook your head, but gave him a soft smile.

"Then, why don't you try to go back on this app and see what he has to say."

"I… I don't know…"

"Is there anything I can do?"

You were surprised by how kind he was right now, and you gave him a grateful smile. But you were called by your director, and it was more than time for you to banish the tears from your eyes, at least for the day.

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Chris went back to the flower shop on Monday evening, although he knew he would find no letter there. He wrote a note for you anyway and left it in Carlotta's care.

He came back the next day, but there was no letter waiting for him.

He came back the day after anyway, and the day after, on and on for two full weeks. Everyday leaving you a new letter, every day hoping you had come back, every day walking back home disappointed and a little bit more heartbroken.

Meanwhile, at work, you remained a little sadder than usual, but refused to talk about it. It didn't really matter, he had decided to get to know you better as Y/N instead of Peony Girl anyway, and so he did. He had made a habit of bringing you a cup of your favourite tea every morning (he had paid attention to details these past couple of weeks and had had no trouble identifying your favourite flavour). He sat next to you at lunch now every day, and if all your discussions started by either talking about your scenes together or some meaningless topics such as the weather, the more time flew by, the more you had full conversations.

He had learnt about your family a little. He knew you preferred oranges to lemons. He knew your favourite spot in Central Park. He knew where you came from. He knew you loved daisies. He knew your favourite Disney. He knew the way you laughed, and the sound of your breathing, and the way you crinkled your nose a little when you tasted something you didn't like, and the way your eyes softened when you read your favourite book. He knew the way the sun illuminated your eyes and the wind blew through your hair. He was learning to know you for real. And in the softness of your voice when you talked about things you loved, in the compassion and genuine interest that was alit in your eyes when you listened to him, he could begin to see Peony shining through. And he was starting to love that mixture of you and you.

But he could still see a little cloud hovering above your head. You had not truly moved on yet from the Wallet Guy.

You kept on hesitating, debating with yourself every night. For a week now, you had been walking before the flower shop every morning, wondering if you should go in and check if he had left a note for you.

The truth was, for a while, you weren't sure if you would be able to take it if you were to walk in and find out he had never come back after that Friday evening. But on the other hand, you wanted to know, and you reckoned that it would help you to move on.

But if you were to discover a letter, would you forgive him?

One day, you couldn't take any more of it. You had to know…

Had he written again to you? Why had he not come?

And so, one morning, you walked in Carlotta's shop again.

Knowing her, you were expecting a crazy welcome and her jumping in your arms, but you were wrong this time. The second she saw you walking in, she just gave you the brightest of grins, and reached behind her counter for Chris's letters. And as you walked closer, she started by putting one letter on the wooden counter.

And then another.

And another.

And the more she added letters, the more you wanted to cry, until you felt the salty taste of tears on your upper lip.

You counted them. He had written to you every single day since that Friday night…

You reached for his first letter, but you didn't even need to read it.

You had forgiven him already.

*************************************

Tag list : @ponycake27 @horsesreign @xinyourdreamsx @jbluevelvet @notkeppeki @daynigt-dreamer-stuff @fudgeflyss @stuckupstucky @snek-shit @suchatinyinfinity @i-padfootblack-things @buckybsarmy @heyohheyitsgabi @madamrogers @marvelcapsicle @theonelittleone @bookgirlunicorn @simamenickk @tessxblxckthorn @xceafh @illi-vanilli @panic-naran @lahoete @humandasaster @thenormreedus @symonlyjen5 @panic-naran @whothehellisspideypool @sing4mejensen

#Chris Evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans imagine #imagine #fanfiction #fanfic #writing

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honeylikewords · 5 years

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why don’t you take your old posts down if you don’t want people liking them?? not being rude just curious.

Well, I actually have considered that. And, in some cases, it does seem like the best option, specifically regarding the old Grady posts, which I am sincerely considering taking down, and because of that, I answered a similar question to this one back when I was explaining why I don’t write for Grady anymore.

The thing is, there’s also a couple of reasons not to do that for other cases. For example:

1. I don’t want to just get rid of my old work; I sometimes actually like the things I used to write, so on a certain level, I like being able to look back and see them and remember the pieces and enjoy them again. I guess I could just copy-paste them into a Google doc and archive them for myself that way, but it’s nice to have this blog in its entirety for me to look through on my own.

2. Some of these old posts seem to be the way people find my blog and then get interested in other things. I sincerely doubt I’d have any followers at all if I hadn’t posted Frank stuff, and if I didn’t still have it up now. While I’m not at all caught up about having a droves of followers, what I do care about is still getting interaction on this blog-- meaning people talk to me, I talk to them, I get anons that give me fun ideas to write and exercise with-- and it seems that one of the ways that people get interested in my blog and, by extension, the newer work I’m making is through these old posts.

3. I don’t necessarily hate or despise Frank Castle or Jim Hopper or even Shane Walsh (though out of the three, he’s the one I have the hardest time finding any remaining love for), nor hate the content I made for them.

When I made that content, they were still good, rich, interesting characters with loveable sides to them (and, for Shane, I hadn’t watched every single one of his episodes, knowing full well that he only got worse with time, so I quit while I was ahead), and I know that, for many people, they’re only invested in that good side that we knew before they got progressively worse through their shows.

I still hold nostalgia for early seasons Frank and actually do still like Hopper on some levels, and, heck, when Shane made that return on TWD, I was incredibly excited and it did re-light a small candle in my heart for the work that Jon did on that show, so I also understand that, for some people, they’re still running on those early-season-mindsets, the mindsets where they loved that character, and they don’t want to let that go. And I also understand that it’s a scale of badness and that these characters are not necessarily “entirely canceled”, and that there’s a lot of nuance in my opinions on these characters, and nuance in how other people look at them or try to reconcile early incarnations of them with their later downfalls (a la Daredevil season 2 Frank versus Literal Friend To A N*zi In Punisher season 2 Frank).

But the problem is that I get frustrated by the fact that A) people seem only interested in content for aggressive white men, B) people continue to seek out content for these aggressive white men after they have done incredibly reprehensible things within the most recent incarnations of their stories (for example, getting a huge influx of Frank fans immediately after season 2, meaning these people SAW him do all the horrible, horrible things he did in season 2 and still found him attractive and fetishized him for those self-same horrible things) and C) my very vanilla, SFW, loving, gentleness-focused posts for these characters get reblogged onto violence fetishizing blogs, serial killer blogs, IRL shooter blogs, etc, which violates not only the site policies, but also violates my work and my own feelings, horrifying me to think that my art is being consumed for its adjacency to sexualized violence.

4. I actually still like Frank. I do. And I wish I could still write for him. But when I step back and look at the whole picture, I realize that if I did continue to, it would just be ignoring the problems created by his story and adjacent fandom, willfully ignoring the worst realities of this media and its biases, and what I want now is for people to be able to critically engage with that and know that it’s wrong to continue glorifying the violence and excusing the bigotry embalmed into the corpse of what used to be a good show and character.

So I leave up my kinder, gentler posts to hopefully combat the masses upon masses of other posts that sensationalize, glorify, and deify his violence and aggression, hoping that maybe it’ll draw people into the conversation we need to collectively be having about the way we look at male characters, the way we look at violence, and the permissions we give to white (or white-passing) characters regarding violence and abuse that we don’t give to non-white characters.

That mentality is applied across the board to all the other characters.

5. Honestly? One day, I could come back around to these characters. Right now I’m at a stage in my life where I find it too difficult to reconcile the badness of the most recent incarnation with the good parts I saw earlier, and I also am trying to avoid seeming like I condone, excuse or turn a blind eye to these bad things by continuing to apologize for a character. But I might not always be in that stage, and may be able to someday articulate a more complex and nuanced understanding of media consumption and creation, and so I want to have these pieces of what I used to love about them still available to me if I ever change my mind.

And what bothers me isn’t necessarily that people enjoy those old works-- they’re left up for that reason, so people (myself included) can enjoy them-- but rather that people engage with them uncritically, or without a conscientiousness about what it is, exactly, that they’re consuming. When I see people reblogging my old Shane posts, ones about family and healing and kindness, and then see on their blog that the other things they’ve reblogged are about him being brutal, violent, aggressively sexual, or demeaning towards women, it makes me aware that, in some way, people consider my content complicit with and equitable to content that allows for, excuses, or even adores and romanticizes the worst, most vile parts of characters like Shane or Frank or whomever.

I know there are good fans out there. Good, critical, thoughtful fans who have been able to think about what it is they’re consuming and like parts of it anyway while simultaneously denouncing the bad parts. That’s what media consumption is, a lot of the time: balancing what we love about it with calling out what we hate about it. So I leave my posts up, hoping to find those thoughtful people who love what I love about it but also understand what there is to hate about it, too. But it worries me over and over that people continue to just glorify and digest abuse and violence as if it’s good, sexy, enticing, complex, or passionate, and that these people find my works and think that my work is aligning itself with these glorifications and digestions of wickedness.

[Obligatory line break!]

At the end of the day, though, I keep the posts up because they used to make me happy and they seem to continue to make other people happy. They get people to engage with this blog and hopefully find other, healthier things to enjoy. They’re not really even necessarily bad posts, sometimes, but when I post about being frustrated that these old posts are the only ones getting attention, what I’m frustrated with is the online cultural fixations on characters who seem to be nothing but aggressive white men. I’m frustrated not by my work, nor by people enjoying it, but by the awareness I have that this enjoyment can be connected to a tacit (or even outright) endorsement of white male violence.

So I don’t take them down in the hopes that people will find my blog and engage with me about stuff I care about, stuff that I like to write nowadays instead of from however many years ago. I don’t take them down in the hopes that people will read them and be happy, or read them and see a more nuanced perspective on what makes a man attractive (which, 100% of the time on this blog, is gentleness, sensitivity, protectiveness, and kindness). And I like having these old pieces of my work to reflect on and learn from, and hopefully do better in future.

It’s a little like preserving a time capsule, in a sense: I may not like or need the things that were originally put into the capsule, but it’s sometimes nice to remember what they meant to me back then, and what they could mean to me some other day.

I know this response got ungodly long, so please don’t think of it as me roasting you; I promise, it’s not. It’s just me trying to articulate and explain how complicated it can be to negotiate the space between loving something-- for example, the work Jon did as an actor who I like and appreciate-- and the things there are to hate about it-- such as the detrimental portrayals of and subscription to hypermasculinity, violence, and white supremacy that can be found in this most recent Frank Castle iteration-- and why I have such a complicated, frustrated relationship with my old posts.

#long post #messages #anonymous #sorry this got so long and complicated! it's just a long and complicated problem in and of itself

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360degreemindset-blog · 6 years

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Life’s Distractions

We have to be careful not to get distracted. Sometimes you can have people around you that aren't as committed to progressing in life as you are. It's important to stay committed to our own goals, and to not get distracted by others people’s lives. I have found myself this week continuing to prioritize my time as it has become more and more limited more so than it's ever been. I have to make sure my motivation is directed towards my true intentions, and to stop missing God's next level for me.

I'm sure we can all relate to feeling like you’re going around the same mountain over and over again. You get to a point where the picture in front of you looks a lot like it did the 3x before that, but with new faces and you’re in different places. The only difference is now you’re older and hopefully wise enough to recognize how to get off the same merry-go-round this time. I've reached a point in my life where I just can't keep looking at the same mountain anymore...I'm finally pushing through it right now. It's gotten to a point where my usual satisfying habits are no longer satisfying; they now leave a bitter taste in my mouth.

I recently had to make a big change in my life because the larger percentage of my life was out of whack, so I could no longer afford to continue in it. I know it won’t be forever, but I realized I neglected other very important areas of my life that would not allow me to neglect them anymore. I did not want to give up my daily enjoyable bad habits so I remained committed to this one good habit. I believe now that I relied on this one good habit for too many things, as if it was a safety net allowing all my unhealthily ways of responding to life be okay. I think it may have created this illusion that if I at least kept that good habit intact then I'm all good across the board. But, you can’t only add gas to a car and think it doesn’t require any other form of maintenance to keep it going.

I was becoming antsy and stagnant in my life and knew something had to change or else! I became more scared of the “or else” because I knew it could easily turn into a big negative that I just couldn’t live with. I have held on to my bad habits like a baby does a pacifier or their favorite blanket. It partially felt like I was giving up my arm or a portion of my air supply. Frankly, that is what my habits were to me, a part of me. But, I realize now on a deeper level they have never been there to better me, but rather to harm me even more. The idea of giving them up scared the hell out of me on more levels than one. On one level I knew I needed to get rid of them, but they provided me with a lifestyle I enjoyed, and the only life I’ve known. There has been a lot of shame and hiding my habits from others because not everybody can relate…and, I felt embarrassed that I couldn’t just lay them down and stop. And, that was it I couldn’t just lay them down I had to ask for help…a help that I do not possess on my own. I went to my heavenly father and cried and said I don’t want to live like this, but I don’t know what else to do to stop it all. I see why people say ignorance is bliss...because, it’s sometimes more painful when you know what better looks like, but you just can’t seem to do it. Or, you have done it before and tasted the freedom it offered you, and then only to mess it up again, and have it slowly taken back away from you.

There are many things that I have done that I am not proud off, but have learned to forgive myself and rely on God’s mercy and grace to get me through. But, I cannot live with screwing my daughter’s life up…at least too bad…my daughter provides me with a lot of motivation to make necessary changes in my life because I am a walking talking example for her. As I have learned numerous things from my own mother, my daughter to will learn that from me. And nothing is wrong if your motivation for change starts out with someone else’s best interest in mind as long as you eventually get to the point where you do it for yourself.

God has laid it on my heart several times to take care of myself physically and to work with Him on my impulsivity for food, sugar, caffeine and shopping. I have been on this journey before, and now I'm here again, almost 30 days into it. I will say it's different this time...I feel myself relying more on God's timing and His comfort, and I am enjoying and appreciating the journey...don't get me wrong it has its moments, but they're not so bad. I can remember how scared I was before, when I have been at this point, and I think I was scared of the next level and all that it would ask me to give up…and, truthfully I just didn't want to give it up. I really believed for a long time my shopping, eating and caffeine intake only affected me...but, this time God created a clearer image of my situation, and it helped me feel and see how it affected my family, husband, daughter and then me. Thank goodness God knew my heart even though I continued to not take care of my body or my finances. It's been a very humbling experience so far, and God has helped me be forgiving and kinder to myself in the meantime.

I really appreciate you taking the time to share in my experiences and thoughts this week, and I hope it offers you inspiration as you too try to live life to its fullest. Until next time, many blessings to you all!

”Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.” Maya Angelou

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”Socrates

070818

#balance

#motivation

#inspiring

#self-improvement

#life

#blessings

#approval

#change

#mindset

#negative

#positive

#alone

#peace

#individuality

#balance motivation inspiring self-improvement life blessings approval change mindset negative positive alone peace individualit

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my-mystic-messenger · 7 years

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Why Rika is poorly executed character and villain

See, here is the thing - and please don’t take it the wrong way - but in a fandom like Mystic Messenger where the fanbase is predominantly underaged, the general consensus tends to be off, in my opinion.

People say that there is no right and wrong in opinions and to some extend that’s true. What someone else thinks is bad can be golden to you, however there is a difference to personal opinion and critical one. Critically speaking, I don’t think Rika is a well executed character or villain and here’s why:

Writing:

So to explain my point for why I think Rika is a poorly written character and villain I will use a list I found of what makes a good villain as well as villains from other movies that I would actually consider good villains. Let’s start by determining what the most important thing is for a good villain: their motivation! Why they act the way they act can make or break a villain, because it does so much more then tell you why they do it. The motivation gives you their backstory and makes them human and relatable, which is very important. A really good villain, in my opinion, has to be so clever and manipulative it will make you question your own morals. A good example of such a villain would be Light Yagami from Death Note, who despite being a serial killer of unimaginable magnitude still has a large fanbase and many people who support what he did, in fiction as well as in our world. His motivation is to actually do good and the nice thing about Light is, that he does not have one of those silly, over the top backstories. He’s just a cop’s kid who saw how the system never allowed his father to actually safe people, so he takes matters into his own hands. However, there are even villains who have absolutely no motivation or known backstory and are still highly enjoyable, I call them the psychotics. It is something that is much harder to pull off and often times fails, but if done right can be amazing. Best example; the Joker. We know nothing of his past and even the bits and pieces of his ‘traumatic childhood’ he tells us about are presumed to be lies and manipulation. Because he is psychotic with no motivation other than chaos he’s unpredictable and keeps us on his toes. Rika, on the other hand, is neither of those despite trying to be both. She is definitely psychotic and with a twisted mind, but she isn’t the 'fun’ kind like the Joker and she most certainly isn’t as clever about it or half as unpredictable. He actions are foreseeable and have been done over and over before. Be it her torturing and manipulating vulnerable people into her personal slaves or the whole shtick of I’ll try to make everyone you care for believe I’m actually the good and innocent person in all of this to make you look bad. I mean “The important thing is not to discredit her message, but discredit her” is literally a quote from the Handmaid’s Tale. A book written in 1985 that in one sentence summarizes Rika’s obviously unoriginal actions. Then of course there is this whole thing about wanting to allow people to be their dark selves, but yet again has been done and done better. That’s kind of a Lucifer thing to do, in every media ever created, and Rika does it poorly as well. Again, she says she does it for others – which would be a Light thing to do – but actually does it for herself – which would be a Joker thing to do – because she can’t handle her own darkness. However she doesn’t do it for fun, she does it because she’s weak which discredits her as a villain immediately. Also, let’s be real, what has Rika really achieved? She started a cult, sure, but she never tried to actively harm the RFA. She didn’t have some kind of greater plan beyond trying to get them to Mint Eye where they’d mostly live peacefully. What she did was manipulate a bunch of innocent, mentally unstable people into joining a cult. Even in a hero-villain story of a smaller frame like Mystic Messenger that’s hardly interesting. Scientology does the same thing and I don’t call them villains, just idiots.

Motivation isn’t all, of course. Remember how motivation gives us backstory? It does in Rika’s case too, sadly as I mentioned before Rika is a walking, talking cliché. Boohoo, my parents didn’t love me and I was bullied at school. Haven’t heard that one before.

Beyond her ‘tragic backstory’ being unimaginative as hell, the whole things is also highly convoluted, messily executed, rather unrealistic despite being such a simple premise and beyond all that does not excuse any of her actions. Like no offense, but people who choose to adopt a child – which is a messy and expensive process usually very carefully planned and thought through – abusing said child doesn’t make sense. Not to mention that there would be social workers checking on them regularly. Also, honey, this is a bit personal but I was physically and verbally abused by my mother my whole life. I was bullied in school until I graduated and I too am mentally ill. It still doesn’t make me relate to Rika and her bullshit at all. Those things usually make people kinder, because they know better than to mistreat others the same way they were mistreated or it makes them aggressive and lash out. Rika again tries to be both and fails at being both. At this point I’d also like to add that for a website like Tumblr where everything has to be PC and unproblematic, I find it quite strange that a mentally ill person like Rika is allowed to call her mental illness a bad, evil darkness. Just saying. Then again, motivation and backstory aren’t everything. Neither Moriarty nor the Joker have those and they are still some of the best villains in history. There are other traits a villain should have and I have a list. Let’s have a look:

✓convinced they’re the good guy

✘ has many likeable qualities

✓a worthy enough opponent to make your hero look good

✘ you like when they are on stage/appear

✓clever and accomplished enough that people must lend him begrudging respect

✓can’t be a fool or a bumbler

✓has many of the same characteristics of the hero, but they’re misdirected

✓should occasionally be kind, and not just for show

✓can be merciless, even to the innocent

✓persuasive

✓stop at nothing to get what they want

✓proud, deceitful, vengeful

✓jealous, especially of the hero

Now looking at this you might say hey, Rika has a lot of those! That makes a good villain right?! Wrong, because Rika has a lot of those! This is like checking off a very obvious bullet point list to make sure you got everything right.

That is precisely why Rika is so goddamn flat and boring, because someone sat down, made sure to stuff everything from this list into a character and call it a day. Worst of all, not only do they follow a well-known grid, they aren’t even innovative about it.

I could go into detail about all the things on the list she does have, but then again sadly enough, those speak for themselves and there is very little to elaborate on. I mean the fact that I cannot elaborate on bullet points already gives away just how poorly the character is constructed.

However, there are two things not checked off that are rather important to talk about and in my opinion outweigh most of the other bullet points anyway: “Likeable qualities” and “liking when they appear in the story.” Neither of which can be said for Rika. Name one (1), likeable trait Rika has. I can’t think of a single good thing about her, not a single one. She isn’t funny – like the Joker or Loki – she isn’t extraordinary intelligent – like Hannibal or Moriarty – and she doesn’t make you question your morals like Light or hell Jigsaw if you will. Beyond being a cliché villain, she’s also a failure as a character. Ever character, even the worst villain, have likeable traits. Rika has none. She literally doesn’t have a personality, if you think about it. All there is to her is her tragic backstory, her mental illness and her darkness. That’s it. As for liking when they appear, you better believe that whenever Stayin’ Alive plays I think of Moriarty or that I care more about Loki than I ever did about Thor. Whenever I got a VN with Rika I rolled my eyes and tried to get through it as fast as possible. She was boring, repetitive and talked in this silly metaphors that were so utterly basic I’m sure that if I dug through my writing during primary school or early teens I’d find something similar. She sounded more like an angsty teenager than a well through out villain. So to summarize, before the writing part gets even longer, she is hardly original, has no abilities of her own and instead uses goons for all her work, has no personality and no redeeming traits. What usually makes the movies and shows interesting – hero and villain going head to head – was by far the worst part of the V route. If I ever have to read a conversation between V and her again, I’ll smash my head.

Design:

Now one might thing that there isn’t much to talk about when it comes to Rika’s design and even less to criticize and there really isn’t much I have to say on the design itself, but more so the three designs of Rika we have and the changes in design and personality in the V route.

Rika has three main designs. Her main-main design – that brown dress – her Mint Eye grown – that thing she wore in the secret endings – and the latest addition that sleek, black dress with that pretty mask that still makes me wonder what the point of it was, MC didn’t know her anyway.

Let’s start with the main design. Frankly, it’s quite basic, although I get where they were going with it. The colours are all light and pastel, trying to make her seem approachable, sweet and innocent. Long wavy hair and that big bow on her chest add to that whole lolita-childlike innocence thing.

The dress is brown, because brown is a simple, 'cheap’ colour probably supposed to show how humble she is, that she doesn’t dress up herself to invest more of her money and time into people who need it more than her. I get it, I’m still not a fan of the design.

Everything about her is too light and similar in colour. Rika kind of drowns in that dress. Like her blonde hair faints into even lighter colour she fades into the dress. Compared to the vibrant designs of everyone else, she sticks out like a sore thumb and they could have done better.

Also, that whole looks like an angel but it actually the devil thing is like yet another cliché they knocked off with Rika. It’s like those little Grady twins from the Shining or ever Yandere in every anime ever. Yet another unimaginative rip-off.

Her second design, the whole Mint Eye ruler gown thing, not particularly pretty design wise as well as having a confusing colour palette that has literally nothing to do with neither Magenta – which is her code name in Mint Eye, right? - not you know mint?

Also the whole now I am evil therefor I give up my modesty and wear fancy ass clothes to show how much better I am than everyone else also leaves this Mean Girls vibe in my mouth. Especially when you consider that it looks like a pastors robe so it’s like Mean Girls meets God complex.

Again, it’s not horrible but better and smarter choices could have been made. What really ticked me off through was her third outfit, what that kind of said about Rika and how her behaviour changes while she wears that black dress.

Let me preface this by saying that sex isn’t a bad thing. It’s a natural process, it’s enjoyable and it brings life. While I personally think people should wait a little longer and be a bit more modest to fully enjoy the experience, there is nothing wrong with sex itself. Oversexualization, on the other hand, is a problem.

Throughout the entire V route I was actually shocked how sexualized the entire thing was compared to the main game and it made me so uncomfortable, especially when Rika was involved since they’d worked so hard to establish her as this innocent, childlike girl.

Be it the strange photo series that she shot with V or her dress that became black, tight and with a very suggestive cut out on her chest. Now mind you, I don’t have a problem with sexy characters, but I do have a problem when innocent characters become sexy once they turn evil.

Her being overly sexual in the V route to show that she’s given up her innocence and everything good is nothing new. Anyone reading comics or watching superhero movies knows that female villains are always overly sexy instead of practical. I just hate the message behind it.

It leaves a foul taste in my mouth that a game supposed to be for young girls basically, subconsciously teaches them that being sexy is dirty and evil. Even worse, however, is that she not only becomes overly sexy, she becomes lesbian!

You cannot imagine how I fumed at that bad ending. I really wanted to toss my phone against the wall. A previously straight established, innocent character becomes a prying, sexualized lesbian once they turn evil. Grade A writing, Cheritz. Grade A.

You have an entire route with Jaehee where you can’t romance the poor woman and never get so much as proper CG together until the DLC’s where it’s still a thing of blink and you miss it hidden romance and yet we have this whole thing with Rika.

To me, honestly, that was a double slap in the face. Being sexy isn’t evil. Seduction shouldn’t be a goddamn weapon. Prying on someone physically is fucked up, no matter the gender, and being lesbian is not a fucking trait you unlock when you turn evil.

Once again, nothing but clichés, overused tropes and at this point even harmful messages for a young, impressionable audience that really makes me question decisions that are made in the Cheritz headquarters.

Voice Acting:

Finally, we get to the voice acting. This time I really don’t have much to say other that I found it weak, especially compared to the other voice actors who did amazing jobs while having much less to work with than Rika.

Every actor dreams of getting to play crazy characters, because you can really go bonkers with it and do things normal characters can’t and wouldn’t do. You can be creepy, over the top, crazy and hysterical. You can scream and shout and then split seconds later switch to eerie and quiet.

Playing a villain properly is one of the hardest things to pull off, but also the most fun and rewarding. While voice acting makes it a little easier, since you only have to focus on your voice instead of every single body movement, it’s still the most fun and with lots of options.

Rika didn’t do any of those things. Even when she had that whole breakdown towards the end of the V route I was majorly disappointed at how subdued and small the whole thing was, especially in comparison to the actual CG.

That is why I really thing Rika’s voice actress did a poor job, because she didn’t even take into consideration what CG’s she was working with, let alone the facial expressions of the render in the general game. Her voice acting never freaking matched!

So we have a CG where Rika is on the floor, bawling her eyes out and obviously screaming in agony and the voice actress just…doesn’t do any of it. There is way too much almost calm talking in the middle of a break down and honestly I’ve cried and screamed more about series finale’s than she did in what was supposed to be a heartbreaking and defining moment. Talking about subdued and calm, I also don’t think that the voice actress worked a lot with the voice to begin with, just read the texts mostly as herself, since Rika sounds the same no matter the situation or the render. That feels out of place especially when she has that freaky render where her eyes get all black and spooky but he voice actress just keeps on talking like normal, the render changes back to her sweet personality – showing how twisted she is – but the acting doesn’t change along. It’s just a job poorly done especially in comparison to say V, Jumin and Yoosung, who in my opinion did the best jobs despite having little to work with in some cases. The others were good too, but those three really stood out. V, because despite having very little lines in comparison and being a relatively calm character managed to convey every single emotion necessary and always perfectly fitting to the render. Despite not being a big fan of V, his voice actor really tugged at my heart. Jumin, because he is such a cold and calculated character and gives you so little to work with – something the voice actor even talked about – and yet he gave him this vulnerability and human side with just his voice. The things this voice actor made me feel…oh boy. Yoosung’s voice actor literally made my jaw drop when I heard him speak in the Valentines Day special. While Yoosung was still almost a child with a high voice during the main route here he actually sounded like the same boy but older! Then I heard the guy speak and he sounds literally nothing like Yoosung and you manage to capture something so youthful despite not having that voice and then capturing it while aging it up at the same time is just amazing work. In comparison Rika’s voice acting was just as bland and boring as her character. Which is ironic, really, because Rika could have been and should have been the most interesting and facetted character of the whole game. Instead her side-kick stole her spotlight every time. Sad, but hey I love me some Saeran.

Conclusion:

3000+ words in and I have not written a single positive thing about Rika and I still can’t think of anything positive to say. The only time she made me feel any kind of emotion was when her theme was playing, because that is literally the only good and emotional part about Rika.So, after having read this piece I’d really like to know why people consider her a good or eve interesting villain, because to me she clearly is neither.

#mystic messenger #mysme #Rika #analysis #request

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frostedwitch · 6 years

Text

Ahhhhhhhh happy holidays to you dear @fonsscientae!!! I’m your @rotgsecretsanta! Honestly I have no idea if this is anything like what you wanted but I saw the words post battle and angst in your requests and I just rolled with it! Um I hope you like it??? :3c So I wrote you a kinda angst Jack fic? Let me know what you thought I can always try something else maybe if its not what you wanted??

Fic under the cut~

Jack Frost was having a bad day, which was an generous euphemism for having his ass handed to him spectacularly in this particular fight, he had a long running theory he was the universe’s, or at the very least the man in the moon’s, whipping boy and that the space time continuum was balanced purely on him being on the receiving end of a painful bashing and today seemed to be one of those instances that proved it.

There certainly were better ways to be spending his birthday, his three hundred and twentieth, than fighting back an attack from Pitch Black himself and his new and improved army of Fearlings. Nasty things those Fearlings, the other Guardians had explained to him when they had first reappeared a short while back, after realising that corrupting Sandy’s magic to create Nightmares wasn’t very successful he had reverted back to his old tricks.

“Guys?!” Jack yelled, peering quick over his shoulder for any sign of his friends, the sleigh had been behind him not only a second ago. Each way he looked he only saw grey clouds and dark swarms of the Nightmare King’s monsters, damn it, they had warned him, they had said never get separated when they were up against Fearlings, the creatures were cunning and once they had someone isolated they could confuse and disorientate them. He was too vulnerable, where were the others? Had they gone back down to the ground? “Whoa!” he managed to block a Fearling’s attack just in time, smashing the creature around the face with the crook of his staff. That’s what he got for keeping still in a battle, he thought as he launched himself back into flight. He needed to find the others and regroup, as much as he hated to admit it he was way out of his depth here and he needed the other Guardians fighting at his side.

Where the hell where they? He growled to himself, dodging in and out of swarms, his ice blasting a way through as Fearlings snapped out at him with teeth and claws, a hand just managing to snatch at a handful of his hoody before he kicked away. He needed the others right now, he was being overwhelmed and one wrong move-

He shrieked when two Fearlings charged him from either side, one slamming into his shoulder that he had to grab around its throat to stop it sinking its teeth into his skin and the other at his arm, snatching his staff away, the ancient wood being snapped up into pieces in fast little hands. They knew what they were doing, his mind screamed at him, they must of known he couldn’t fly without his staff and with their job down they let him from go from their clutches.

And he fell.

He only gave a light gasp as he plummeted, the dark cloud of Fearlings quickly farther and farther away.

“Jack!” a multitude of voices screamed, so perhaps he really hadn’t been that far from his friends after all, or at least they had managed to see his descent down. The Wind screamed around him, trying to snatch him up uselessly, but he just couldn’t fly without his powers, his staff. Bunny had lectured him before how risky being so dependant on one conduit could be, saying they needed to train him out of it and they would teach him how to channel his magic without the item, they never found the time for that lesson.

He might die, the thought flashed through his mind, he had fallen from the sky before but this was hundreds of miles up, so far surely even enough to kill an immortal, his first death falling through ice and now his second falling from the sky, he would never get to say goodbye to Jamie, to Sophie or any of his beloved children.

The ground rushed up to meet him and he smashed down with all the force of a meteor, the air violently stolen from his lungs as his eyes rolled back in his skull. After what felt like the worst few minutes of his life he groaned, lucidly coming back to himself and his face pinched in pain. So not instant death then but he had still landed on his back his spine may be broken, he still could be dying. He managed to drag his eyes open and saw what he really didn’t want to see, a Fearling landing down on the edge of the creator he had made, sniffing down along to him and its horrible eyes locked on him in glee. He tried to get up, he tried so hard to move, to fight back, but he could only just lift his hand to push at the monster weakly with all the strength of a newborn baby.

Please not this, please anything but this, he wished the fall had killed him and he despaired the fact he was still alive. “No! Please!” he begged, a useless thing to do in the face of a monster. The Fearling ducked its head and sank its teeth into his wrist as he palmed at its shoulder. It hurt and he yelped out but it was gone as soon as it had come and the creature sat back, its large empty eyes merely watching him as it choked out a noise that sounded somewhat like a giggle, pleased with itself.

Jack’s eyes widened as it simply sat and looked at him, the horror dawning that his worst fears had been correct, it wasn’t going to end him, it could easily tear him apart but it didn’t want that, it wanted him to suffer, to be corrupted by the darkness and turned into one of them. The others hadn’t spared him from the knowledge of how Pitch made his Fearlings, they had warned him the Nightmare King had always preferred corrupted Guardians to dead Guardians. Death would have been the kinder way out.

“Well, well, well” the smooth voice washed over him, Pitch Black himself stepping along side him, hands clasped loosely behind his back and a twisted pleasure in his golden eyes. “Look who we have here, Jack Frost”

“Do I really have to spend my last moments listening to another gloating monologue from you?!” he snarked back, because he wouldn’t let himself show any weakness to his enemy and if he was about to die he was damn sure he was going out with at least a few snappy comebacks.

“Always so feisty, I’ll have that temper put to good use when you’re one of my creatures” Pitch grinned more as Jack’s glare lost some of its power.

“Why don’t you just kill me instead? You really wanna spend the rest of forever with me mocking you?” he tried to be brave, digging deep into centuries of building emotional walls and his ‘I don’t care’ attitude. Please let Pitch just kill him, please let him die with his own mind and not as some horrible monster.

“I told you before, nothing goes together better than cold and dark, besides, when you’re mine you won’t have the frankly annoying personality you do now” he knelt beside the boy, his long thin fingers wrapping around his throat and pulling him up, his lips just touching the Guardian’s.

Jack squirmed in his grip, struggling to tilt his head away “You sure about that? I’m telling you I have centuries practice of being annoying, I’m basically a pro at it that won’t change”

The corner of Pitch’s mouth twitched higher up, splitting his face in a grin as his tongue flicked out to swipe across the boy’s lips “Do you really think you will not change? Mhmm breaking you will be so enjoyable” his fingers clenched harder at his throat, Jack choking and scrabbling at his hand. The pleased grin turned into an aggressive snarl as Pitch slammed Jack back down into the hard earth, his skull hitting painfully against a rock, his other hand catching up the boy’s arm and twisting it around to him showing his own injury. The Fearling’s bite looked rotten, like it had already been festering for weeks with an icy trail of blood down his forearm and across his fingers. It wasn’t bleeding anymore and he didn’t know if that was thanks to his own powers or the way his once pale flesh was black like frostbite. The darkness was already inside him and had already started to infect more, blood vessels around the bite wound standing out in sharp inky relief against his snowy skin.

Jack hacked out a wet gasp “… So what? You gonna try ripping my heart out like you tried with Nightlight?” he panted, shifting his grip on the hand locked around his wind pipe. “I won’t let you!”

“Oh Jaaacccckkkk” Pitch smirked again, his long clawed fingers trailing along the boy’s darkened veins. “That is the quick and kind way and I plan on taking my time with you, taking pleasure in every second of your pain” his nails dug in to his soft skin “This will slowly travel through your body, when it reaches your heart it will begin to infest it, rot it out from the inside while you feel yourself dissolve and I promise you it will not happen quickly, you are going to suffer”

“Y-you sure are a barrel of laughs, huh” the boy gasped out even though his voice wobbled in a way that had nothing to do with the hand locked around his neck, the dread settling thick and fast in his stomach.

Pitch’s eyes gleamed “You’re frightened” Jack coughed out a breath, ready to argue “I know you are, I can taste it” he lifted the boy’s arm to his mouth and his dark tongue flicked out to swipe in the infected wound, giving a pleasured groan. “It’s alright now Jack, give yourself to it, let it have you” his other hand reached down to aid in choking the young Guardian, the boy’s eyes rolling back.

Without warning a shining golden rope wrapped itself around Pitch’s arm and tore him away, viciously throwing him across the ground, Jack wheezed out sharply, his mouth wide open gulping in as much air as he could.

“What?! Sanderson!” Pitch hissed, dragging himself up to stand and glaring at the Guardian of Dreams who landed beside his friend, using another whip of sand to slice at the Fearling nearby and chase it away.

“Sandy” Jack gasped, trying to roll onto his side towards him and Sandy hushed him with a kind hand brushing against his hair and a worried glance over his shoulder, standing in between the Nightmare king and the boy.

“You want to try taking me on alone again?” Pitch mocked, his arms open with an invitation to fight “You can’t protect him he will be mine!” Sandy glared but calmly raised one judgemental eyebrow and pointed behind their enemy, Pitch baulked and turned just in time to see the sleigh come barrelling towards him, North at the helm with his swords drawn. With a yelp Pitch melted down into his shadows, nothing more than a darkness skittering along the ground that the others chased onwards and away.

There was a light thump beside his head as Sandy sat down and warm gentle hands had pulled him to rest his head on his lap, fingers stroking through his frosted hair.

“Sandy” he tried again, he had to tell him, had to warn him. He was a ticking time bomb ready to go off at any moment, the last time he had been hurt in a fight with a particularly nasty Wendigo the others had scraped him up and taken him back home to the North Pole where he had awoken tucked in his bed a few hours later. What if he past out now and the same thing happened, what if they took him home and during the night he woke up not as himself but a vicious monster, a Fearling in the heart of a Guardian’s home wasn’t an idea he could bear thinking about, it wasn’t an option.

With a warm glowing light Sandy’s magic reached out to him, tendrils brushing against his cheek and across his shoulders to soothe him. Jack quietened down in his tender hold, he knew for sure he couldn’t get up if he wanted to, unsure if it was the fall, the loss of his staff or the corruption running through his blood or a combination of all three but he certainly couldn’t get away by choice if he began to change here and now. But right at this moment he was safe and he was loved, Sandy’s small fingers combing his hair and massaging his forehead in a gentleness he hadn’t known since his mother, as selfish as it may have been he didn’t want the moment to end just yet.

“Sandy, thanks for being here” he breathed out, strangely content despite what had happened. The Guardian of Dreams smiled down warmly at him, so much care in his golden eyes.

A jingling of bells announced the sleigh was back, skidding along to a stop and the other three Guardians running towards them. “Jack!” Tooth cried, coming to sit in the crater at his side and her hand cupping his cheek.

“Pitch disappeared, probably back up there” North answered Sandy’s question when the little man had looked at him with a brow raised, the Cossack nodding up at the swirling mass of Fearlings above their heads in the sky.

“Right mate, what hurts the most?” Bunny asked, kneeling on the boy’s other side having already stripped off his bandolier and digging his paws through the pockets to find the assorted items for first aid he always carried with him.

Jack whined “Guys no, you have to leave me”

“We are not leaving” North huffed, disgust in his voice at the very idea, crouching down with the others.

“You don’t understand, I’ve been bitten… I’m corrupted, you need to leave me here, save the kids” he lifted up his arm as his baby blue eyes peered around at them, all of them staring widely back all of a sudden very quiet. He couldn’t bare the idea of them leaving him to turn here alone, but it was the safest thing for them, for the children they still needed to save. He wasn’t going to let his last lucid act be selfish and risk lives just because he didn’t want to be alone at the end, he had been alone at the start of his life might as well finish it the same way.

North swallowed thickly, his eyes shining with sadness “Jack… we are not leaving, you will be fine”

“Don’t lie to him” Bunny spat, his ears pressed flat down.

“I am just trying not to upset him!” the Cossack snarled back.

“Givin’ false promises an’ lyin’ don’t make anyone feel better!”

“Guys please” the boy’s frightened whisper made all of them look back to him, Bunny’s paws holding tight around either side of the bite wound. “Just go”

“Not givin’ up that easily, right we need a plan” Bunny spoke up, looking around the three others determined “We gotta get him back to the Pole an’ I’ve got the most experience with Fearlings, you lot stay and clear up?”

North was nodding along “Take Sandy with you, he’ll help keep things calm, Toothy you will be alright here with me?”

Tooth’s feathered fluffed up as her eyes flicked around the gathering and then turned down to Jack, her vision awash with tears. “I don’t want to leave him”

North’s expression softened “I am not wanting that either but we cannot leave Pitch here, children will die”

The fairy took in a harsh breath, blinking furiously. She wanted to argue and scream to stay with Jack, because the chances were she would never see him again and that he would either die during the transformation or there would be a Fearling staring at her through his eyes when she next looked into them, they had never been able to stop someone falling to Pitch’s corruption before. Yet she was a Guardian and that meant more than just a fancy title and some bed time stories about her, she had sworn to protect the children of the world, they were more important and had to come first, always. No matter their love for each other in the end Guardians had to give up everything for their cause, the children’s lives were more important than Jack’s. “Sweet-Tooth” she murmured, both of her hands cupping the boy’s face.

“Mmm?” his eyes stared up at her, so trusting and full of love.

“We have to go protect the little ones but we love you so much, you must never forget that” she leaned down to touch her forehead to his. “You better be here when we return” she growled like it was the official order of the queen they could very easily forget she was. Jack pressed his lips to her cheek as she pulled away then she was fiddling with her sword for a moment, reaching behind herself before pressing one of her own tail feathers into his hand, cut at the quick. “Take this, it might help, if you need to remember us”

North was shrugging off his coat when the boy glanced up at him following her example, Jack would need their magic of memories and wonder if he had a chance of fighting off the corruption and items belonging to them that held their essence would have to do if they couldn’t be there in person. He bundled the youngest Guardian up and lifted him into Bunny’s arms, his hand pausing to stroke through Jack’s hair. “Good luck my boy”

Sand swirled through the air to form a little aeroplane sitting on the ground ready to leave, Sandy already placing himself in the pilot’s seat. Bunny climbing into the back with Jack curled up on his lap, the Pooka paused for a moment looking around. “Wait, where’s his staff?”

“They broke it before I fell” Jack sighed, trying to get comfortable.

“Strewth, North, Tooth, the staffs in pieces somewhere, if ya can track it down bring it back” Bunny called back to the pair on the ground, who nodded before going off to fight back Pitch’s attack. The plane took off, keeping low to avoid the Fearlings up ahead until they were clear of them and flying off into the night sky, the moon glowing brightly above them.

Jack would normally be embarrassed to admit how comfortable he was, but the coat was worn soft and warm as well as smelling like North, like his home in the Pole and Bunny’s arms were wrapped firmly around him, one paw at the back of his neck and stroking.

The Pooka’s voice rumbled in his chest as he spoke, the boy’s ear pressed over his warm fur. “So how was Jamie an’ Sophie today?”

Jack was a little perplexed “… They’re fine”

“Yeah? What they learnin’ in school?”

“Do you really wanna know about that right now?” he hissed out, his fingers clutching at Tooth’s feather anxiously.

“We need you to stay as calm as possible, bein’ scared will only make it worse so yes I wanna know, what did they learn in school?” Bunny spoke gently, his paw tucking the coat up around his head and cradling him to his chest.

Jack blinked in understanding, he was trying to distract his mind, trying to keep him calm so he wouldn’t be filled with fear that would only speed up the corruption. “Am I gonna turn into a Fearling?” he demanded.

Bunny sighed “You might, I can’t make any promises either way”

“I thought you were meant to be the Guardian of hope” the boy bit out harshly.

“I’m the Guardian of hope not of false hope, I know best of all it ain’t right to be promisin’ things that might be impossible, it’s just cruel” Bunny spoke sternly and after Jack whined a sob he pulled back so he could see down into his eyes, a paw curled under his jaw tilting him to look up. “Now mate, that don’t mean I ain’t gonna fight with everythin’ that I am fer ya, we’re gonna do our very best Sandy and me, an’ North an’ Tooth down there fightin’ fer ya just as much and I will promise you one thing. No matter what happens we will always love you, if ya live we will love you an’ spend the rest of our lives makin’ sure every day you know it but if ya turn we will still love you, if you die we will love you, if ya turn and end up hurtin’ someone we will love you, we will always love you an’ nothin’ in the world will ever change that”

Jack couldn’t help the sobs that slipped out as he hid his face down into Bunny’s ruff and then groaned in despair as he felt the corruption claw further up, past his elbow now heading for his shoulder. “Hurts” he cursed.

“I know yer scared but ya gotta try an’ hold on as long as you can” Bunny’s paw never stopped stroking at the back of his head, the constant motion soothing and grounding. “Now Jackie, what did the kids learn in school?”

The younger Guardian sucked in a harsh breath, letting the words come quietly and shaky from his lips, recounting everything his two favourite children had told him about that afternoon when he had visited them, spending a few hours playing with them and listening to all their thoughts and opinions on the world around them. Bunny was right, it did help a little and before he knew it they were landing down at the North Pole, pulling in by the reindeer’s stables. The Pooka leaping out of the plane that dissolved down back into sand and rushing through with the boy in his arms, Sandy at their side. Jack pulled North’s coat further over his head as they went, not wanting to see the elves and yetis staring at him as they continued through the factory, through hallways and up stairs to a place he had never been to before, Sandy throwing open the door for them.

The air was still and warm here, heavy with dust that spoke of how long it had been since someone had last been here, pressed against Bunny’s chest under the coat Jack couldn’t see much around him but he could look up and see a high domed roof before he was being laid down in an old small bed, with North’s coat against his back beneath him and Tooth’s feather under his head across the pillow. There was a loud groan of metal and wood before the ceiling seemed to crack straight along the centre of the dome and pull apart, revealing the calm night sky outside.

“This is the old observatory, Nightlight used to come up here a lot, he said he felt safer being closer to the moon” Bunny answered his unasked questions, shaking the bedsheets free of dust. Sandy returned to their side, having gone to flip the switch to open the roof up, his little fingers tugging at Jack’s hoody. “Good idea” the Pooka nodded. “Jack, we’re gonna get this off you” he explained as he helped the boy out of the clothing who didn’t argue. “Think the more contact with the light you have the better”

Jack nodded with a sigh as he settled back down in the bed, blinking as the moonlight poured in over him, laying here he could see the Moon, so big and close, the whole galaxy seemingly within his reach. He glanced over down his to his wrist and screamed, his entire hand grey and a pattern not unlike his frost from his black blood vessels, the corruption had spread up past his shoulder, trailing along his collar bone and he imagined to his neck. “Bunny! Sandy! Help, oh no, oh please no”

“Jack, don’t look at it!” Bunny growled out, his paw curling around the boy’s jaw and turning his face away, blocking his view. The space around them glowed with a soothing warmth, Sandy’s magic swirling around them, reaching out to stroke at his face trying to calm him but he could see the fear in Bunny’s eyes, the Pooka never had been very good at keeping calm himself, and the tightness in Sandy’s brow, they were both terrified for him. He cried out and shook in their hands, darkness spidering along through his skin along aiming downwards towards his heart. Bunny shredded a strip of cloth from the old bed sheets, holding it in his paws as he caught Jack’s eyes. “Jackie you gotta trust us, alright? Now I’m gonna put this over your eyes, just like that” he explained, securing it at the back of his head, completely taking away all sight.

“Why? I can’t see the moon anymore” the boy worried, Sandy sitting himself beside his pillow, his magic trailing all over him.

“To keep you focused, besides the light will do just touchin’ yer skin, don’t need to see it” the boy nodded stiffly, biting at his lower lip anxiously. “Right, we’re gonna just relax and try some breathin’ exercises”

“You make it sound like I’m having a baby” Jack couldn’t help but give a weak chuckle.

“If it makes it better then yes I’m willin’ to be yer midwife, dress an’ all” Bunny grinned back, gently trying to probe with his magic at the boy, trying to find his centre and when Jack gave another laugh at the idea he could see it in his mind eye, his joy still trying to shine brightly despite the on coming corruption, finding it with his own centre and wrapped his hope around it, giving him strength. Sandy’s magic followed him in, like wandering through a dark forest to find their lights, building the power.

Jack listened as Bunny lead him through the breathing exercises, his hand clasped firmly between two warm paws while Sandy held his other. “Feels weird” he sighed.

“Good or bad weird?”

“I dunno just really odd, its like I can feel you both in me, like in my soul or something” Jack yawned out, feeling weary. He felt so horrendously weak and on display to them without his eyesight, the cloth sitting roughly across his face and he could only guess at how bad the corruption looked now, he didn’t want to know because he knew the answer wasn’t anything good.

“That’s us there protectin’ yer centre, yer joy, it’s alright we got you” Bunny soothed, one paw moving to caress his face.

He tried to relax in their hold but he could feel it, lurking inside the corruption was there, slinking ever on, ever deeper and it hurt, the pain only getting stronger. He occasionally let out a whimper or moan, their hands tending to him, stroking his face or hair as it cut in more, like rotten vines growing through his body.

Something was whispering to him from inside his own mind, something awful.

The sand shifted in the air, Sandy was saying something he couldn’t see and Bunny hissed out an frustrated “I know”

The youngest Guardian reached out with his own fading magic, the connection the others had started was a two way path and he could feel both of them and an idea of what they were feeling, they were terrified. Bunny’s hope was stubborn, an utter and complete refusal to give up despite what he could tell was happening, Sandy more openly upset, more realistic to the reality of what was happening.

They both knew he wouldn’t make it.

The whispering grew louder as it began to deafen out other thoughts, pushing harder and harder at him to give in, to let it have him.

“Guys?” he murmured after a long while, his voice tight and worn as his knuckles clenched white in their hands.

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want to be a Fearling” he said simply.

“Strewth Jack, we know, we’re tryin!” the Pooka sounded a little hysterical, Sandy’s thumb rubbing along his cheek in the lightest of motions to prove to him he was still trying, still here with him.

“I know… but if … if you can’t stop it will you kill me? Please?” the thing in his mind laughed at him as he spoke.

“Jack…” he thought he could hear tears in the Guardian of hope’s voice, Sandy’s little hands clutching harder at him, his sand holding him.

“Please, Pitch will use me to kill you, to kill Jamie and Sophie, I wanna die by my own terms with my own mind knowing who I am” he whined, he had spent so long trying to find out who he was, the idea of dying as a brainless creature doing things he had sworn against was the worst thing he could imagine. “Please don’t let it take that away from me, don’t let it take my love for you guys”

They both were definitely crying now.

Jack only could lay back and try to ignore the feeling of something so very wrong taking over his body. It seemed a few hours may have gone past, perhaps really they hadn’t and he couldn’t just tell anymore but he seized up, his head pressed hard against the pillows as his back arched in pain and he began to scream. His body thrashing in spasming throes while they held him down, the burning wrongness deep somewhere in his chest, in his heart.

After a horrendously long time he settled quietly, his breathing hard and pained, the cloth across his eyes soaked with tears. “… what’s wrong with my eyes?” he asked in a small voice.

“… Jackie?” the reply came tiredly, worn out from the heart ache.

“Why can’t I see?” he asked, trying to shift out of their grasp to feel at his face but they wouldn’t let him.

“Don’t ya remember?”

“…No?” had he forgotten something? He felt there was a reason he couldn’t see but what was it? Wasn’t there a magic feather from Tooth that was supposed to help him remember things? And who was Tooth? The person who held his hand with fluffy paws cursed under their breath, a frantic shifting of air and magic from the other side. “It really hurts…” he whined.

“… Do ya remember us?”

He gave a jerked nod in response “Of course I do, you’re important to me” he spoke and the others with him seemed a soothed by it “… why are you important?” he then cried out in pain again, gasping out but not seeming to be able to get enough air.

“Shhh, it’s alright, we’re here” hands stroked at his face, it didn’t help much.

His cries cut off as he convulsed, then again and again.

It hurt so much, he could feel his mind disintegrating piece by piece, like someone walking around a house and blowing out one candle at a time, soon there would only be darkness left.

“Please!” he cried, tears soaking through the cloth to streak along his face “Help me”

“Jack, I’m so sorry, we can’t …. “ the voice was cut off as the air swirled curiously around them “Sandy there’s gotta be somethin’ else! …. I know yer right I just…. I know …. Jackie? We’ll help… yer just gonna go to sleep now, yeah? That’s it just relax we got you, we love you”

He hummed appreciatively, to be loved was a good happy thing, something he very much enjoyed. He tried to relax as he was told as the smaller one laid a hand over his forehead, magic all around him as he drifted of to sleep.

When his eyes next fluttered open he was completely confused.

The early dawn came dazzlingly through the large bedroom window, his bedroom window, in his own bed in the Pole. That was a weird dream, he thought sleepily and letting his head rest back into the pillow when he noticed Tooth curled up with her arms locked around his chest.

What?

He struggled upwards, knocking not only her arms but others off as well, bleary eyed he peered around him at the pile of sleeping Guardians. Either it was Christmas again with North’s killer bourbon eggnog or something just plain odd had happened. Tooth yawned at his side, her small fist moving to rub at her eyes, she blinked and saw he was awake.

“Jack!” she squealed launching herself at him and toppling them into the sleeping pile, multiple groans heard as they woke up. “It’s wonderful to see you! I can’t believe it you’re here and you’re you! I’m so happy!”

“Um thanks? … What happened?” Jack mumbled, the lot of them shifting around him.

“Jack!” Bunny’s arms wrapped around him and he was suddenly pinned against his fluffy chest, Sandy and North both crowding on either side and hands all over him.

“Guys!” he half laughed and shrieked “What’s the deal… wait!” the memories hit him like a ton of brick and he struggled to yank his arm free of Sandy’s cuddle, pulling down his sleeve to see his wrist scarred over, the spider web of what had been darkness now shining in the light with his ice. So it was true, that wasn’t a dream. “I was corrupted!” he breathed, his fingers touching the scar in wonder.

“Yes but now you are all better!” North beamed, his large hand enthusiastically rubbing at the boy’s shoulder.

“How?” he bit out, not quite believing it was possible himself.

Tooth took a hold of his hand, her large violet eyes gazing at him carefully “We really don’t know, you were nearly a Fearling and then it just stopped? Maybe it was because North and I arrived and you had all of our magic together? Maybe the Man in the Moon did something? Whatever it was we’re just so relieved you’re safe”

Jack couldn’t help but return the smile she gave him, his eyes moving to where Bunny and Sandy sat side by side giving him equally warm looks full of love and he felt his cheeks frosting over slightly. He remembered begging them for death and that was something they surely had to deal with later, if only to make sure the pair of them were alright if nothing else but that could wait for now his stomach was rumbling.

“Wow, wild night huh guys? Lets not do that again any time soon” he slid out from their grasp, landing his feet on the floor where he discovered his staff in one whole piece leaning beside the headboard where he always kept it and snagged it over his shoulder, casual as anything. How on earth they had found the pieces and restored it was another question but again one for another time.

“So who wants pancakes? I’m making, dancing with nearly becoming a creature of darkness really stirs up a guys appetite” he grinned back at his family, who were worth everything in the world to him and he swore to himself he would never stop fighting for them. Not even Pitch Black would stop him no matter how hard he might try.

#fic #rotgsecretsanta #jack frost #rotg #rise of the guardians #i hope this is ok #i tried

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thecoroutfitters · 6 years

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Written by Cody on The Prepper Journal.

Editors Note: Another guest submission from Cody Jarrett to The Prepper Journal. Some good points for prepping for all kinds of weather. As always, if you have information for Preppers that you would like to share and possibly receive a $25 cash award like Cody, as well as being entered into the Prepper Writing Contest AND have a chance to win one of three Amazon Gift Cards with the top prize being a $300 card to purchase your own prepping supplies, then enter today!

Camping in the rain doesn’t have to be a miserable experience. If you plan on going camping in the UK, there is always a good chance that it’s going to rain. In this article, we’ll share our 10 tips on camping in wet weather to help you make the most out of your camping trip regardless of the weather conditions.

What to bring:

Tarpaulin

A tarpaulin is ideally the single most essential item to bring when planning a camping trip, as it can be a total life saver. Think in multiples! You want to have at least one large sheet of tarpaulin that you can place over the tent, so that in case of a downpour, you pitch it with ease; and an additional one to place underneath the floor of the tent for the extra waterproof protection.

The tarp also has a variety of other useful purposes, such as creating a sheltered space for firewood, bikes, and camping chairs. You may also use a tarp to set aside a rain-free area close to your tent for other camping activities, which can be super handy as it gives you the freedom of enjoying everything you had planned for in spite of the rain.

Groundsheets

Groundsheets serve as your ultimate line of protection between you and the soggy ground. For this reason, be sure to have one with you, ready. Aside from serving as an extra level of defense against the soggy ground, the groundsheet will effectively insulate the tent floor, providing you with a much warmer night’s sleep.

Ensure that the groundsheet underneath the tent matches the size of the tent’s floor. Keep in mind that if you use a larger groundsheet, it will retain rainwater, leading to undesirable funnel effect. Have the ends of the groundsheet folded away underneath the tent floor to secure them properly.

Another key benefit of having a groundsheet is that it can be pitched perfectly on a smooth foundation, and the floor of the tent will in turn be more comfortable to sleep on.

Gazebo

Although a gazebo is not on every camper’s list for possessions to bring along, it can be quite essential when roughing it out in the wet wilderness. As large waterproof structures, they offer ample space to roam around, relax, and set up a table camping style, while you smugly listen to the sound of the pattering rain nearby, thereby avoiding getting soaked in it. Modern gazebos are also very easy to install.

Blankets

When it comes to camping, especially when the weather forecast doesn’t look so good, a few extra blankets wouldn’t go amiss. Extended rainfall can lower the air temperature substantially and raise the humidity levels. As such, you’ll want to wrap yourself up in a toasty, dry sheath come night time. With a few blankets, you will get the cozy camper feeling, which makes listening to the rain an enjoyable experience.

Waterproof Footwear and Clothing

From the first instance, the waterproof clothing you wear should be both lightweight and breathable, with fully loaded wrist cuffs, taped seams, and adjustable hoods to keep the rain out. Your kit should cover the basics such as waterproof trousers, waterproof jacket, and waterproof boots, and if the temperatures are too low, have a fleece and a base layer.

Keep the waterproof ratings of each of your kit’s pieces in mind, since they’ll come into play if you do find yourself in the shower. Anything that goes beyond 5,000 mvp of breathability and 5,000 mm of water-proofness should keep you well ventilated and securely watertight.

Avoid putting on cotton clothing as these soak up moisture rather than wicking it. It’s also recommended that you bring extra waterproof clothing, which should be safely stored in plastic bags, just in you accidentally get wet and need a change of clothing or gear. So, before you set out on your trip, you should reproof any old waterproof trousers, jackets, or boots to power up the coatings using wash-in or spray-on water-proofers.

Emergency Rain Ponchos

You need to have rain ponchos for you and the rest of your cohorts in case you need to get out of the rain. Wear them when you’re setting camp too, to keep you dry, keep your waterproof gear intact and prevent getting drenched.

Plastic Bags

These are some of the cheapest, most compact, and most versatile tool out there, so make the most out of them. You can ideally get them from any shop selling anything under the sun, for a price that’s next to nothing. They also pack away brilliantly, and take up negligible amount of space. You can essentially use the essential items to stay absolutely dry including extra clothing, gear, books, bedding, etc.

Dry Bags

These are the pricier and more sophisticated alternative to the regular plastic bags. As waterproof sacs, you can use them to store anything from laptops to wallets in order to keep them safely from moisture. The key advantage with dry bags is that you can reuse them endlessly, and they are a bit kinder on the environment compared to the normal plastic bags. They also generally feature straps, clips, and draw cords to secure your items perfectly.

Newspaper

Newspapers can be used as a drying medium for stuff that might get wet despite your best efforts. You can use newspaper to stuff any damp socks or shoes to speed up the drying process and have them dry much faster.

Lighting

Lighting is a must-have feature on any camping trip, and particularly so if you pitch your tent under an overcast. The gloomy skies will leave little light to show your way. You can use a hand-held torch to explore the outdoor environment, a headtorch to shine some light as you pitch your tent, or even lanterns to light the camping space up for eating, reading, etc.

Cords and Ropes

These are a necessary multi-purpose tool when you’re out in the wild, especially in rainy weather. You’ll find them quite useful if you’d like to hang a few sheets of tarp to build separate rainproof shelters, or if one of your tent’s guy rope accidentally snaps from the pressure of the bad weather. As a rule of thumb, always bring a few extra ropes and cords for contingencies.

Additional Tent Pegs

Before leaving, ensure that you have extra tent pegs with you. They’re largely inexpensive, and can be your guiding savior in case you lose one of the regular ones in the swampy ground. You can also use them to fasten the tent more strongly so that your tent can withstand the strong winds.

Entertainment

If it’s raining heavily, you’ll naturally be less inclined to go for long voyages outside during your trip. So, it’s better to have alternative forms of entertainment to keep you occupied and satisfied. Bring some magazines, books, chargers, music players, a deck of cards, board games, and anything else your comrades will appreciate and enjoy throughout the trip.

Reproofer

It’s a great idea to throw in some reproofer in your camping backpack. You need to reproof your gear and tent before you head out camping, but it never hurts to have it handy in case of an emergency. If you find that your waterproof trousers or jacket is leaking in water, a quick recoat can save it from disuse.

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The post What to Bring When Camping in the Rain appeared first on The Prepper Journal.

from The Prepper Journal Don't forget to visit the store and pick up some gear at The COR Outfitters. How prepared are you for emergencies? #SurvivalFirestarter #SurvivalBugOutBackpack #PrepperSurvivalPack #SHTFGear #SHTFBag

#SHTF #TEOTWAWKI #MARTIALLAW #BUGOUT #PREPPERBAG #USAF #USSOCOM #ARMY #NAVY #SurvivalFirestarter #Sur

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jebglitterbulkmax-blog · 4 years

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Your Worst Nightmare About holographic resin pigment Come to Life

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captain-zajjy · 7 years

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Solstice, Chapter 1 - A Final Fantasy XV Story

Pairing: Ignis Scientia x Female Original Character

Here’s the opening chapter to the new story I’m working on, featuring an original character I created for the world of FFXV. Ignis was my very favorite chocobro from the start, and by the end, I think he deserved some happiness (with a massive heaping of angst along the way). This story will mostly take place during the timeskip in the game, will obviously contain massive spoilers, and should be mostly canon compliant. No idea when I’ll actually start posting updates to this on the regular, so for now, I hope you enjoy the preview!

Special thanks to my beta-reader and idea-bouncer, @calilumina.

This late in the evening, the cavernous lobby of the Royal Energy Building was all but empty, save for a few stragglers working overtime. Ignis Scientia was there to see the one person who was always working late: Valeria Soleil. Vice-president and heir to the company, top of their class at the Academy, and all-around lovely individual.

A familiar-looking security guard gave him a wink as he approached the elevator to the upper floors, a look which Ignis pointedly ignored. He would think one of the wealthiest corporations in Insomnia could hire more than one night guard, but it was always the same bloody man on duty every time Ignis passed through. It’s not like that, you fool. It never had been, and it never would be. Not in this life, anyway.

The thought made Ignis sigh as the elevator zoomed upward toward the executive offices. Valeria had been his closest friend at the Academy, the only person in their class who was able to keep up with him intellectually, to match his genuine enjoyment and thirst for knowledge. And, had circumstances been different, she could have been more than a friend. So much more. It was something that had never entirely been said between them, but they both knew.

And those feelings had not entirely been eroded by time and distance. When Valeria opened her office door, idly twirling the wavy brown hair thrown over her shoulder, he felt his breath hitch, his heart beat a little faster.

“Iggy.” Valeria smiled, her teeth straight and white. “I’m glad you could stop by.”

“As am I,” he replied, doffing his suit jacket and hanging it in the narrow closet near the door. He had last seen her three weeks ago, during that ever-elusive, narrow window when they both had a bit of free time. It wasn’t a date - never a date - just two old friends chatting over a cup of Ebony. He wanted to visit with her one last time before departing for the Noctis’s wedding.

Valeria cut an attractive figure in heels and an impeccably tailored skirt; Ignis couldn’t help but admire her slim curves as he followed her into the room, taking a seat opposite her at the desk.

In truth, the office was nicer than anything occupied by members of the Royal Council back in the Citadel. Twice the size with a quarter of the clutter, it was all clean lines and simplicity in shades of white and grey. Two of the walls were floor-to-ceiling windows offering a panoramic vista of the twinkling lights of the city, the Citadel looming beyond, its ubiquitous presence constantly reminding Ignis of his duty. As if I would forget.

Elegant glass bookshelves were filled with engineering and physics reference books, some of which Ignis recognized from their studies at the Academy, many he did not. Valeria’s desk was long and wide, polished to a sheen by the cleaning staff whenever she deigned to leave the office.

It was all very stylish and impressive and utterly sterile. There were no pictures of friends and family, no posters of the exotic locales she wished to visit. The decor was exceedingly neutral: inoffensive artwork and sculpture, reminiscent of something one might see in a hotel lobby, that Ignis just knew her mother must have picked out for her.

He recalled their visits to the Royal Museum of Art and how Valeria was always drawn to the complex, difficult works - the pieces whose meanings were always shifting as new details emerged upon each subsequent viewing. But those sorts of things might ruffle a shareholder’s feathers, might assert some facet of her actual personality that someone might not like. It was Ignis’s hypothesis that her mother had wanted not so much a child as a blank repository into which she could entrust her own dreams and ambitions.

“A royal wedding,” Valeria mused, snapping him back to the present. Reclining In her high-backed desk chair, she looked more like a queen than corporate scion.

“More like a royal wrangling, if I’m being honest.”

Valeria arched an eyebrow. “Really? The Prince isn’t interested in her? He could do a lot worse.”

Ignis noted the hint of resentment in that last statement. Her mother had been trying to arrange a marriage with a nobleman since the day she graduated the Academy.

“Noctis isn’t interested in much of anything that doesn’t involve sleeping in,” Ignis said. No, he lamented.

“Then I hope, for your sake, that Lady Lunafreya is an early riser. Oh!” She snapped her fingers. “I nearly forgot to ask: you’ve got to send me pictures of her wedding dress.”

It was Ignis’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Hearing wedding bells, are we?” He tried very hard to sound nonchalant.

Valeria scoffed. “Hardly.” He wasn’t sad to hear that. “I read that her dress was designed by Vivienne Westwood, and I need a new gown for the benefit gala this Fall.”

“I see.” Ignis busied himself with cleaning off his glasses, unable to quite look her in the eye as he asked, “And who is the lucky gentleman this year?”

Valeria fixed him with a look that was somehow both admonishing and wistful. “I don’t know. My mother’s compiled a long list of ‘suitable candidates.’”

And my name isn’t on it, he thought. No, he knew. His position as royal advisor certainly carried its fair share of clout, but Valeria’s family already had plenty of power. What they lacked was respect, the kind that came from a storied bloodline and an ancient name. Her mother had been born in a slum, attended the Academy on one of those charity scholarships, and no amount of money or brilliance would ever let the Lucian upper crust forget it. And he, a foreign-born orphan, had little to offer on that score.

“What about you?” Valeria asked. “Who’s your date for the wedding?”

Ignis snorted at the thought. “If I ever have the time for such things, I assure you, you will be the first to know.”

The flush that crept up her cheeks was enough to make him blush, too. Perhaps he shouldn’t have spoken so bluntly, but it was true. His position afforded him very little in the way of personal time, and that was, well, not fine, but it was something he had accepted a long time ago. And Valeria deserved better than that, more - so much more - than he could ever give her.

Maybe they were just torturing themselves by meeting like this now and then, but until she told him not to, he would seize these moments when and where he could and affix them in his mind, cherish her simple smiles and infectious laugh and whatever time they could spend together.

“Iggy.” She’d caught him staring.

“You look quite nice this evening.” Not that she didn’t always look nice; it was just that after three weeks he couldn’t help himself from remarking on it.

“Ignis,” Valeria said, her hazel eyes imploring. “Don’t.”

Ignis let out a heavy sigh and fiddled with his shirtsleeves, but he didn’t apologize. He’d never apologize for telling her that she was beautiful.

“When do you have to go back?” Valeria asked by way of changing the subject, her eyes begging him to stay, her mouth set in a grim line of acceptance that he always had to go.

Ignis checked the time on his phone. “Noctis should still be at dinner.” The Prince was dining with his father tonight, and undoubtedly getting an earful about how to behave around his new bride. It was nice to let someone else do the nagging for a change.

A small smile spread across Valeria’s face, the kind of smile Ignis liked to think was just for him, and then she opened one of her desk drawers, producing a deck of playing cards and a small bottle of top-shelf brandy.

“Drinking on the job?” he asked, shuffling the cards, not bothering to ask what she wanted to play. He knew. They always played the same card game, both unable to find another opponent who provided any sort of challenge. Valeria poured a generous serving of alcohol into two small glasses.

“Maybe you just bring out my rebellious side.”

It was Ignis’s turn to flush and ask her to stop, and he quickly looked down at the desk to deal the cards.

A few sips of fantastic brandy and a few more wistful glances later, and it was evident they both had drawn absolutely terrible hands - there would be no winner here tonight, just someone who lost less.

“Ah, well,” Ignis said, tossing his cards onto the glass desktop in defeat. “Perhaps the Six will be kinder to us next time.”

Across from him, Valeria smiled. “Until next time, then.”

#ignis scientia #ignis #ignis x oc #ffxv #final fantasy xv #ffxv fanfiction #ff15 #final fantasy 15 #ff15 fanfiction #preview

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peacekaleandyoga1 · 5 years

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Fitness is all about getting your body strong and healthy. The tips of this article will show you some easy guide on fitness. You can not neglect to take care of your body! Use and follow these tips in this article to stay fit.

Many people attempt to get fit just by lifting weights. There are six exercises that you need: bridges, and they are pull-ups, push ups, leg raises, push-ups, handstand push-ups and bridges.

Do you not have a lot of time to set aside for working out? Split up your exercise time into two separate sessions. Instead of jogging for an hour, do a half hour early in the day ad the other half later.

TIP! If you are new to working out, consider purchasing a session or two with a personal trainer. A competent trainer can assess where you are now and recommend a workout routine that can get you where you want to go.

Be creative with your fitness regimen. You do not have to visit the gym to get a fair amount of exercise. You need to like what you are doing in order to stick with the activity.

Start a diary that contains your physical activity each day. Note your workouts and anything else that you do. Buy a pedometer and look to see how many steps you take during the day; write that down, also.This type of written record will prove invaluable in tracking your progress on your fitness journey.

Take on the exercises you don’t like head on. People will avoid doing their weaker exercises. Add those difficult exercises to your routine and work hard to overcome it.

TIP! Plant a garden in your yard. Many people are shocked that working a garden requires a lot of hard work.

You will never get a six pack of abs by doing endless crunches. Abdominal exercises do strengthen your muscles; however, but they won’t burn off your belly fat.

Your bicycling pace when riding your bike should be kept between 80 and 110 rpm. This means that you the ability of riding longer time and much faster without straining your knees and getting tired. You should try to keep this RPM.

When doing repetitious types of exercises that you need to count, start at your goal number and count down. This helps you know how many you have left and keep you motivated a lot better than counting up.

TIP! A good tip to keeping in good shape is joining a health club and when you do, pay for a few months upfront. You will be inspired to get to the gym more often when you know that you would be wasting money if you did not go.

Dedicate a small part of your day to exercise.

Tennis players use this trick to build strength in your forearms. Put a giant piece of paper on a table or flat surface. Crumple the paper using only your dominant hand for 30 seconds.

Do not slack off when it comes to working out on the weekends. It’s not uncommon for someone to view weekends as “free time” to rest and in many cases they are. You should be thinking about staying fit and losing weight.

TIP! A person can maximize any benefits they get from exercise by varying their exercise activities. If a person typically uses a treadmill, he could switch things up by taking a run around the block.

Clean all the equipment at the fitness center before you start your workout. Other users may not have cleaned up after themselves and left dirty bacteria.

Try and perform some of your workouts outside when it’s possible. Go on a hike, to the beach, or go running on the beach. This will give you a nice change of environment and invigorate you. Being outside not only reduces stress and helps your thinking process.

To improve your golf putt, focus on an area about 17 inches beyond the hole. This is an area that the cup is usually surrounded by a 17-inch patch of footprints.The grass will be thicker and your ball a bit.

TIP! When you are first starting a weight-lifting regimen, begin with lighter weights. This can help create a balance with your muscles and prevent injury since smaller muscles fatigue before larger ones do.

Always pay attention to proper form when lifting weights to strengthen your biceps. The way to lift weights is with your wrists slightly extended backwards. When done, slowly bring your wrist back to a straight resting position. This is the way to do a safe manner.

One fitness is to press your tongue upward into the top of your mouth while you are doing sit-ups or crunches. You can avoid harmful strains or injuries and strains.

That will keep any swelling and redness.

TIP! Keep your workouts varied by including a wide range of exercises. As odd as it sounds, this will help you avoid starting a routine in your routine; thus keeping things fresh and lively, always coming back for more.

If you find yourself slacking off with your fitness regimen, enlisting the help of a friend can put you back on track.

Shop for your workout shoes later in the day. This is because throughout the day your feat expand a little bit, so you will have a better chance of finding shoes that will fit and be comfortable at any time of day.

Consult a dietitian for tips on improving your diet. You can eliminate bad foods easily, are you sure about what you need to consume to stay healthy?

TIP! Face your fitness fears head-on and begin by tackling the exercises that you dread most. You may be inclined to resist doing exercises that you are not great at.

You should do at least half an hour of cardio exercise each day. Just remember that the longer you workout, the more time you’ll need.

If you continuously get injured when working out, continue working out using the opposite. Arms are connected to each other, so when you damage one arm, despite not actively working on it. This has to do with the muscle fibers are connected.

There’s no reason getting fit can’t be enjoyable. This article was made to help you learn how to squeeze working out into your life. You need to be willing to work at it, but being healthy is within the reach of nearly everyone. So keep that in mind, as well as everything you learned in order to get into shape.

TIP! If you discover that you are skipping your work-outs, make a schedule to prevent yourself from avoiding exercise. Set a number of days during the week that you will work out, and stick to that number.

If you enjoyed this post, you should read this: How recording myself crying helped me be kinder to myself

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kellyp72 · 5 years

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5 Sustainable Steps You Can Take to Create a More Eco-Friendly Christmas This Season

Guest post by Hannah Bullimore

With Christmas fast approaching there are plenty of details to consider. From planning a busy schedule to buying gifts and keeping your guests happy, you may be feeling the stress and strain of the season.

So how do you manage all of this and have a stylish and elegant home throughout the holidays without being overwhelmed by all the stuff that goes with them?

Minimalism is a huge trend at the moment and for good reason. Minimalism is popular amongst those looking for a home and holiday season that is both impeccably styled and perfectly relaxed without damaging the environment.

Here is our guide to creating paired back, elegant decor for your home this yuletide period.

What is Minimalism?

The ultimate relaxing space, a minimalist home uses neutral tones, sleek furniture and reduces the amount of clutter about the home. Popular in Scandinavia and Japan, minimalism isn’t just a way to decorate but a way of life.

Minimalism was born out of a need to reduce consumption and get back to basics in an effort to make life easier and to help the planet in the process.

5 Minimalist Ways to Prepare Your Home for the Festive Season

There are many things you can do to reduce the amount of clutter you’ve accumulated and will potentially acquire this season. Here are 5 things you can do right now to reduce that clutter and clear your mind and home for a less stressful, more enjoyable holiday.

1. Clear out old baubles.

Start to clear out old decorations before you even think about your colour scheme. Get rid of any decorations that have seen better days and give ornaments that you’re keeping a thorough clean. Fairy lights have a shelf life and can stop working if just one bulb goes. Make sure to check all the lights before decorating the tree to save time later.

Starting the winter festivities this way will set you up for a more relaxed (and stylish) holiday season and make creating a new theme much easier.

2. Go neutral and natural.

A neutral base colour for your decorations will mean you can make changes each year without having to start completely from scratch. Natural materials will add a Nordic feel as well as making your home extra cosy.

Consider bringing the outside in with evergreens, these decorations are timeless and are far better for the environment than plastic alternatives.

3. Carefully select your Christmas tree

A natural tree can be the perfect centrepiece for the festive season. However, 8 million trees are felled and are most end up in landfill just a few weeks later. As trees are biodegradable and can be turned into wood chips it is possible to avoid this; however, many aren’t willing to take their tree to be recycled. Make sure to research where you can take your tree in your local area before opting for a real tree.

Also, if you live in the UK, make sure to buy a British grown, environmentally friendly tree. Those trees approved by the Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) are grown to a full cycle of nine years and each is replaced once cut down. Plus they won’t have travelled hundreds of miles to arrive in the UK, cutting down their carbon footprint even further.

4. Au natural gift wrap

Once the gifts are stacked under the Christmas tree they become just as much a part of the decoration as the baubles and tinsel.

Make gifts a part of minimalist decor by using environmentally friendly parcel paper and adding simple touches such as sprigs of evergreen to decorate. The gifts will look far more chic than when wrapped in patterned paper and the wrapping will be fully biodegradable as well.

5. Make the dining table a focal point

A well-laid dining table can be almost as extravagant as the tree. Making the table a focal point will reduce the need for other decorations.

Use crisp white linens, natural decorations and beautiful crockery to create a paired back, elegant look to draw the attention of your guests. Avoiding plastic cutlery and paper plates and only using reusable items will make your table both more elegant and kinder on the environment.

UK Waste at Christmas

The damage that plastic and other waste is doing to the environment is now well known. When Christmas arrives, though, the excitement of spending time with our loved ones and sharing thoughtful gifts can mean the environment gets forgotten.

Here are the stats on just how much Brits waste each festive season.

· 3 million tonnes of waste

· 83km2 of rubbish from wrapping paper alone

· 54 million platefuls of food

· 189 million batteries

· 40 million rolls of sticky tape

· 100 million black bags of packaging from toys and gifts

4 Ways to Reduce Waste This Christmas

1. Recycle wrapping paper

Whether you’ve kept last year’s wrapping to reuse or you’re going to use easily recycled brown parcel paper, just make sure that you can recycle gift wrap. Consider other reusable options such as wrapping gifts in fabric or scarves to add to the gift and make it entirely eco-friendly.

2. Give less, give better

It’s easy to get carried away when the holidays are getting closer. The best way to curb overspending is to make a list (check it twice) and stick to it! Don’t be lulled into buying extra gifts because of offers such as buy one get one free.

With kids, you could consider the rule of something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read to keep the gift pile from getting out of hand.

3. Get crafty

Gifts don’t have to be bought from a shop. Consider upcycling second-hand items or things you already have around the home. Creating homemade beauty products and putting them in mason jars with a beautiful bow is a great way to create an affordable, luxurious gift that skips out the throwaway packaging.

4. Don’t fill the fridge

It’s important guests don’t go hungry but the days when the shops closed for the whole holidays have long gone. Filling the fridge and cupboards to bursting will undoubtedly lead to waste. Consider what you really need, write a list, and stick to it. Don’t buy every bargain going and don’t buy lots of extras that will sit in the back of the cupboard until next year.

Research delicious recipes to make with those Christmas leftovers - there is more to do with the leftover turkey than simply make sandwiches!

What can be recycled this Christmas?

Christmas decorations, wrapping paper, cards and packaging. Festive celebrations create a lot of rubbish and here we have a guide to what you can and can’t recycle after the party is over.

Here is a list of the things you can and can’t put in the recycling bin.

Can be recycled:

Christmas cards and envelopes

Wrapping paper and cardboard packaging

Empty bottles

Jars

Cans

Plastic containers

Can’t be recycled:

Soft plastics

Tinsel

Christmas lights

Leftover food (unless you compost – and you should!)

Cellophane wrapping

Christmas trees

Broken crockery

If you're looking for other ways to consider the environment, then why not discover how to make your holiday wedding environmentally friendly. And for more festive fun, consider going on a gin tour of the Lake District this season or simply make one of the delicious gin cocktails from our cheat sheet!

How do you plan to create a more eco-friendly Christmas season this year? Drop a comment in the box below - we’d love to hear from you!

Hannah Bullimore is a writer and blogger from Newcastle. She loves the great outdoors and writes about yoga, wellbeing and her love of books. She is currently working on a novel and her blog can be found at hjbullimore.wordpress.com

photo credits: all images by Evolved Search, UK

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#eco-friendly #green Christmas #holidays

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subpopmountainbabe · 5 years

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With alot of recent talk about female empowerment, I am going to address an elephant in the room for women like myself, who have sometimes found it difficult to get close to other women for no reason other than the fact that I have often fallen victim to the toxic jealousy of fellow females. I know there are plenty of wonderful, genuine, uplifting women out there, but when you have lost things from jobs to friends, tips, & social media accounts at the hands of jealous women, it can certainly leave you questioning who is genuinely happy for your achievements, or there for you overall on a pure level. Just like any emotional scars, enduring something negative repeatedly can certainly skew your perceptions of the world and the people in it. To this day, I am still healing from wounds inflicted upon me by other women...while it still continues to happen for no reason other than the fact that I exist. If there is one thing jealous women are terrified of, it is others knowing or finding out that they are jealous of you because that entails swallowing their pride or admitting they aren't perfect. This just makes it harder to find your voice when you fall victim to these types of people. These aren't only the strangers giving you the stink eye from across the room, either. Sometimes these women pose as close friends, while simultaneously pulling the wool over your eyes by trying to sabatoge you, or poisoning the well behind your back. They often know what to tell people also, in order to make their lies sound more believable by manipulating people's observations, while leaving out important unseen ones.

It is frustrating when you sense, or (at times) downright know someone is jealous of you, but you don't know how to tell other people about it without coming off as cocky or full of yourself. Everyone preaches self esteem, until you actually refer to yourself as being pretty, or intelligent, which as I said can further complicate things. Yet, the damage is real, when experienced in excess, so I will be the voice for the other women who know what it feels like to constantly be outcasted for being pretty, intelligent, successful, or for any other reasons jealousy commonly occurs. It matters because of the emotional damage it can create (especially long term) as it repeatedly occurs in different settings throughout ones life. Being an intelligent, witty, or attractive female does not mean you deserve what others have put you through, whether subtely insulting you with backhanded "compliments" in social settings, or trying to get others against you with pathological lies. In order to truly empower other women, we must also hold those who have created hostile environments for other women, accountable. I'm not talking about women who just don't like someone for logical, or justifiable reasons (hint: a dislike for someone doesn't always equate to jealousy) but with the absence of truth or logic, it often does. To be clear, I am specifically talking about jealous people who ACT on their feelings in cruel ways that can inflict emotional harm or distress onto someone else. Everyone feels jealous sometimes. It's a normal human emotion when kept in check. If you are creating situations for someone else like the ones I'm about to mention below, (which are all real life examples I have endured over the years), then you need to do some introspection and figure out the root cause of your hatred. If you know people who are like this, then you need to stand up to them and hold them accountable even if they're your friends or family. This is also for people who tend to be gullible and don't know the signs. The only way to truly empower one another as females, is to first address the senseless hostility that some exude towards others for simply existing. These are all real life things that have happened to me, that were no doubt acts of jealousy: I will no longer remain silent while people take their issues out on me or other women alike. Having issues is not an excuse to screw over other people. We all have issues, and we have all felt pain. In fact, even pretty or intelligent women sometimes feel insecure, believe it or not. At the end of the day we are all people, and are deserving of kindness when we have shown kindness ourselves.

Anyhow, these are the things I am talking about that I am still healing & trying to learn from. I am going to type in 3rd person because I know I'm not the only one these things have happened to.

1. When a group of females lies to the boss to sabatoge your job, even after you've repeatedly helped them do theirs when they asked you to. Groups of females like this are the most toxic types, because it's harder to disprove to others when trying to defend yourself from their malicious intent...even though you know exactly what they're doing.

2. The "friend" who acts nice to your face, or will pretend to be happy for any achievements you've made, but will lie on pathological levels to other friends or aquaintances when you're not around so that other people won't like you, or at least not too much, therefore preventing others from getting too close to you. This is a form of 'poisoning the well'.

3. Having to rebuild social media platforms from scratch several times due to false & wrongful reporting. Unfortunately, Facebook has a broken appeals system. I could easily disprove their lies, but it was to no avail.

4. *A hint for guys*. Ever notice how that woman (or women) you liked before you met someone else, never seemed to reciprocate your feelings? Or perhaps they just didn't seem to give much of a damn at all. That was, until you publicly posted about your new relationship. Suddenly they seem to "care" about you. They went from never caring about your posts, to suddenly commenting on everything. Or maybe they are suddenly making an effort to call you. Don't for one second think they suddenly realized your value as a person. What's really going on is that they see you've moved on from crushing on them, and that you are no longer inflating their ego because you found somebody better, who actually loves you. For some people, losing that attention is like losing oxygen. It is especially evident when the girl who loves you is also intelligent, funny, or attractive. This has happened to me at the beginnings of every new relationship I have ever been in. Thankfully my husband saw through the girl who tried doing this to him at the beginning of ours, but you'd be surprised by how many guys play dumb. *Hint for women*: If this has happened to you, and your guy defends miss egotistical, your guy knows what he is doing. He knows she isn't just "trying to be nice". She is blatantly disrespecting your monogamous relationship, and he is entertaining her to keep her around as plan B or C, and you should take that as a clear red flag to leave him because there should be no plan B's or C's if he is committed to you. Im not talking about his female friends, who cared about him before you two were together.

5. Having someone constantly challenging you, even after being articulate and logical. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about someone who challenges you out of sheer curiosity or because they genuinely disagree. I'm talking about the person that constantly disagrees just to disagree because it's something you said. This is just their way of being competitive and trying to one up you. A good indicator of this is when they don't do it when it's just the two of you, but constantly do it when others are present.

6. This one is probably the most relatable for alot of women, and also really needs to STOP. If your man checks me out, it's not my fault. If your man tries to make a move, and I reject it, it's not my fault. If your man calls me hott, it's not my fault. Now, I'm obviously not talking about women who entertain his poor behavior or engage in it...because screw homewreckers. I am talking about the ones who haven't done anything wrong whatsoever. As women, we need to stop hating women because some end up with shitty, disrespectful men. Yes, I know that men are sometimes a huge root cause of creating the animosity that women feel towards other women...but if the woman has done nothing wrong except exist, then you need to re-direct your feelings towards your men, and not the women, who more often than not, have no interest in your man.

7. When you work(ed) as a waitress and have/had women glaring at you even though you've made an obvious choice to give her more attention than the man in order to ease her mind and assure her you aren't interested in her spouses stares or flirtatious gestures...but it doesn't ease her mind and she hates you, and you begin to hear her talk crap about you, or trying to jip you on a fair tip instead of holding her man accountable for the insensitive behavior that clearly upsets her. I'm sorry your man made you feel this way, but it's not my fault. If you can't see that I put in a significant amount of effort to make your experience as comfortable and enjoyable as possible, then you are quite frankly, in the wrong. I have been the woman with a disrespectful husband in the past (not my current husband, but my ex-husband to be clear) and I do empathize with women who unknowingly end up with womanizers to an extent, but for me, the extent of that line is drawn when you take it out on someone who did nothing wrong to you. I know there are waitresses that lack empathy and who do cross the line of what most consider to be a respectful presence, but that was certainly was never me because I have been on both ends of this spectrum.

While I could go on with real life examples all day long, I tried to only post the ones that others will likely relate to for now. I hope that this post has made some people question their own behavior, judgement pertaining to gossip or rumors, and that it will inspire women to start being kinder to one another. If you got this far, this is likely something that has affected you personally. That, or you have been the jealous woman for whatever reason. I hope that either way, this inspires people to change for the better, or to create an environment in which the victims of this form of emotional abuse can heal from.

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