#and yet today night she just wont let me sleep

[aceteling]

good news: the stray kitty i'm feeding got neutered

bad news: she's stuck inside for a recovery period and it's day 3 and i cannot get a wink of sleep

#turns out she is really hard to domesticate #and i mean #she had an hour of evening playtime yesterday plenty of bird watching too #i played her an hour of cat tv #she walked around and scratched and looked and basically i did all the enrichment i could in her circumstance #and yet today night she just wont let me sleep #she's constantly meowing and clawing at things and attempting to jump #i am at loss of how to manage with her and not lose my sanity over it #i'd get it if she didn't get playtime #but she absolutely did #she uses the litterbox too #and still wants out nonetheless #ehhhh #domi talks #i thought it'd be fine since she started spending more time in my room as of late #and sleeping whole nights here #but turns out nope #when she was right after the surgery she was obv just sleeping #but now that she's feeling better..... hhh

[asteroidzzzn]

more than just a dream - spark, 004

pairing: college!ellie x reader

synopsis: you transfer to a new school where you only know one person; your childhood best friend. he invited you to a beginning of the year party to meet some new people, but one person, in particular, catches your eye... his other best friend.

a/n: dina bonding time!

genre: social media au, fluff

series masterlist -- previous chapter -- next chapter

bria 🧚

hey!

dina 💋

hi whats up? :)

bria 🧚

im bored and everyone else went out but i dont feel like drinking rn..

can i come over?

i know the two of us arent super close but this could be our chance to bond outside the group 🤞🤞

dina 💋

omg ofc!! i was feeling the same i just wanted to chill and stay in today 😭 but ya come over whenever

bria 🧚 ❤️ a message

we can watch mission impossible if ur into that!

only if u bring snacks...

bria 🧚

U HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IVE BEEN WANTING TO SEE THATTTT OK im omw now ill put the best i have in a bag 🙏 cya!!

dina 💋 ❤️ a message

bria 🧚

hey dina, sorry i had to leave right away

i have to study for the first unit test later today

wish i didn't, this is so boring

how are u?

dina 💋

im fine

good

im good im great actually

but i really think we should talk about it

what happened last night

bria 🧚

later, ok?

sorry

i need to go right now stepping into class

dina 💋

oh ok, bye :)

dina woodward

hi y/n im literally going insane r u free to talk

y/n

omfg 😭 whats going on

dina woodward

you'll never believe what happened last night

y/n

ughhh i wish i was there! sorry i wanted to stay in to get some sleep, i have a test next period

dina woodward

oh no worries i actually stayed in too so this isnt ab the outing

do u know who bria volentas is?

y/n

yeah i do!

shes really nice ill sit next to her in history in a few minutes actually

dina woodward

oh 😭😭😭 i wanted to talk to u ab this bc i thought u were the only one in the group that didnt really know her

can u keep a secret? just need to get this off my chest

y/n

u can trust me :)

dina woodward

sooo... ive had a crush on her since the dawn of time

y/n !! a message

and we hung out last night alone!!

y/n

!!AWEEE yall will be so cute together i can see it now

dina woodward ❤️ a message

also im so glad u said that bc i wasnt ab to be the one to com eout first 😭😭

dina woodward !! a message

dina woodward

YOUW AHT?!?!?!?!?!?

i didnt wanna assume but i secretly knew.........

y/n haha a message

y/n

🤝🤝🤝

OKOK GET ON W UR STORY

dina woodward

we were watching mission impossible bc ellie ditched me (i wont forget) and she goes 'im cold' so bc shes the actual loml i let her under my blanket

y/n

awwww

dina woodward

then our feet kinda touched then our hands kinda touched and we were getting rlly close... then we fucked

y/n

AHH????

that went from 0 to 100 sO FAST

dina woodward

I KNOW LIKE IMS TILL SO IN SHOCK RN

y/n

SO YGS ARENT TOGETHER YET THO?? HAVE U TALKED AB IT ALL??? FYB? ONE TIME THING?

dina woodward

IDKK I HAVE NO IDEA

this is the average wlw experience i say while dry heaving and crawling onto the roof and howling

y/n ❤️ a message

y/n

LMFAOOO it literally is tho we have it so difficult

dina woodward

HELPPP ME AND BRIA ARE IN CHAT RN BUT WE'RE NOT SAYING ANYTHING

SPEAK UP WOMANNN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

i said i wanted to talk ab last night and she was so avoidant so she BETTER say something rn

y/n

yall rn

lurking in chat.....

dina woodward

😭😭😭

i need to be distracted rn

eye starts twitching

tell me smth thats going on w u

y/n

ok u trusted me w ur crush so i can trust u w mine right..

dina woodward

ofc ofc

y/n

so u know her actually like really well from what i know

BLEEEH I HATE TELLING PPL I LIKE THEIR FRIENDS

is ellie williams gay..

dina woodward

take a look at her what do u think

yes she is gay! AND U LEIWFAGJEDFANJ YOU LIKE HER??

y/n ❤️ a message

y/n

angels harmonize and descend from heaven

BLESSS 🙏🙏

yes i like her... i think. its been hard to like anyone since my last relationship but im feeling rlly hopeful about us

im heavily delusional tho she was prob just being friendly when we hung out

dina woodward

she recently broke up w her ex too, and shes been kinda staying away from relationships :(

ur amazing tho youd be so good for her

if she acts like a bitch to u ONCE run

y/n

damn jesse warned me ab her too 😭 what happened with her and her ex? if u know or if ur ok with telling me

i know its not really my business

i just wanna know what lines i cant cross

dina woodward ❤️ a message

dina woodward

yeah i totally get it

i actually dont know all the details

i think she only told jesse bc theyre way closer than me and her

if u want to know everything, id ask him or get it from ellie herself

just get closer with her and she'll tell u everything, and u can decide what to do from there

y/n

ok , thats a good idea

ill just use my amazing charm and incredible beauty to captivate her in chemistry

dina woodward ❤️ a message

dina woodward

HEHEHEHE

speaking of,, she sucks at chemistry. u could get closer to her by tutoring her if youd be up for that?? shed appreciate it sooo much

y/n

#1 wingman award is presented toooooo dina woodward!

dina woodward ❤️ a message

ill def talk to her ab that ill be like heyyy u need help 💋

shit gtg now, test time!

dina woodward

good luck!! with the test and ellie🙏

y/n ❤️ a message

a/n: a lot longer than the last chapter!! but i had a lot to say in this one :D love in the future for my girl dina!!! love to see it

hope u enjoyed as always (✿◠‿◠)

taglist: @ximtiredx @gold-dustwomxn @elliesinterlude @fireflyels @trulygnomed @deluluwh-0-re @toesorhoes @elliewilliamsmissingfingerss @emluvselandabs @ariianelle @jokerpokimoon @lonelyfooryouonly @lil-elliesgf @yuaaa05 @ourautumn86

#ellie williams #tlou game #ellie williams x reader #the last of us #tlou 2 #wlw #ellie williams fluff #tlou part 2 #jesse tlou #dina woodward #the last of us fanfiction #tlou smau #lesbian

[drawing-prompt-s]

Promphet update

Hey, I'll be gone for a little while longer but I wanted to give you guys an update because I know some of you have been concerned.

I moved out of the apartment and into a new unit today. This has a win and some losses.

The win is of course I am not at least no longer living with my roommate and basically her friends since those mfers should have paid rent for how nightly they're over. I live diagonal from her, but I will take what I can get. It also made the move easier.

Downside, she stole or destroyed basically everything of mine in the common areas that she could. What items she didn't just steal or use and never replace (and this goes for her friends/gusests as well), are thoroughly unusable. Aside from the most expensive at least - but I could have had her head on a spike for it.

But this damages ranges from now missing every cleaning product I owned (fabulosos, bleach, detergent, etc - so many etcs), to missing personal items or finding them in worse condition than they were left (my room was tiny, I only had so much room), to straight up just destroying my cookware or stealing it. She stole most of it and damaged pretty much all the rest - cookware less than a year old is now rusted beyond repair and had to be thrown out. I have one pot and 1 pan now everything else is missing. This coming from the girl who threw a whole fit in mediations about not wanting her things touched and separating our stuff out, only to help herself to using and destroying mine, of course).

On top of that she blatantly ignored mediation compromises and was just a general dick - even the maintenance men helping me move were commenting on it. After I realized she had stolen my things I didn't even want to both getting the food, but they told me to sit tight and they got what they could. She stole and kept most of my food as well, of course, because she got full dictation over what could and could not go.

The office provided me a $50 card to Walmart - which is nice because they're not technically responsible for anything of mine lost or stolen. But after the both the leasing and property managers came to talk to her the latter realized that this was going to go south quickly and decided to at least try and help cover some of my missing items. it wont be much of a dent considering Walmart prices, but it's a nicer gesture than I expected, and they got first hand experience with even a tip of her behavior that I have endured for the last 4 months.

4 months of this. I am so, so, so tired. I am certainly rambling but her and her friends did not let me get any sleep the night before. Which only made today worse - besides living off saltines and unsweetened apple sauce for more than a week (I ran out of the saltines 3 days ago - I splurged on take out with how hungry I was today though, and so I didn't pass out).

I am still made about the cookware though. Cookware is so expensive and most all of mine was gifted.

I can't sleep yet because I have to work, but god I want to. I am so tired. I have been so tired. I'm just crashing on the couch for the next few days.

2. Because I moved units today I was able to take Jolene to the vet and get her treated. She's doing good. A little mad at me for taking her and she got car sick, but she's cuddled up with me as I work and write this post. Looking sweet as can be and stealing my heart.

3. I feel like there was supposed to be a third part to this, and I started writing it, but for the last 4 months my mind has been fuzzy. Especially right now with the lack of sleep. So it just vanished from my head immediately. Sorry ya'll.

Give me a few more days and hopefully I'll be back good as new.

Your local, mostly friendly, eldritch Prompt Prophet

#promphet speaks #prompt prophet #promphet

[soldier-poet-king]

today is just. hm HM

still reeling from the political shitshow last night at family dinner with my uncle's alabama republican wife being like 'IM VOTING TRUMP [again]' and then bro1 making shitty arguments about democrats like no i do not like genocide joe either but. yknow. ALSO. NONE OF US SAVE THE WIFE ARE AMERICAN/CAN VOTE IN THIS???

priest from my childhood died this morning. i didnt know him well but he was quiet and kind and just Always Present and im a lil sad

angry about [redacted fandom thing] except it's not even a fan thing i am genuinely personally offended by takes like this because it stems from a wider societal disregard for the dignity of the human person and i WILL fucking die on this hill. isla you're the realest. iykyk

my body?? gone to shit?? hormones?? sadness?? bitch can you decide on a lane and stay in it, they say birth control is often bad for mood disorders but at this point i'd take PREDICTABLY bad on a schedule than just. entirely wild west no rules out here. better yet. just get rid of that shit completely. do not want it. do not need it.

family drama bullshit. father out of town. another (distant) family death. just. so much garbage and everyone is so gd annoying about it and im mean and cranky and do not CARE

STILL SAD AND UPSET FROM LAST NIGHT MELTDOWN sleep did NOT help and this has been happening with increasing regularity

my nonna, as much as i love her, managed to make the sentence 'youve lost weight' an unambiguous negative the same way lots of ppl say 'youve gained weight'. and like. my weight has not changed. i was simply wearing baggy sweatpants and an oversized band tee. and she means well. but also. i simply prefer to Not Think About Being A Body

stressed abt work??? in like. the newness of the job. the added responsibility? i have a major months long project to start and im a little afraid of fucking it up? esp because it's kind of out of my wheelhouse a bit, and yeah it's a learning opportunity but also if i do badly it will be Very Public since it's partially exhibit planning

ive started another really depressing notesaspp list of characters that fit a certain trope and it is. Very Sad. it should not be comforting. it is. oh chronically melancholic despairing folks with a devotion to duty and their usefulness being their only purpose and reason for living. if i cannot be loved and life cannot be kind at least let me be used up for a greater good.

HIP HURTS

i am so tired of hearing about [redacted] i am going from neutral, sometime vaguely positive feelings, to just. i cannot fucking hear about this anymore. who tf cares. i wont be mean about it bc that's petty but oh my it is so tiresome and mediocre

I Must Scream

#the duality of fran #dont read this lmaooo im the worst #i am logging tf out and going to angst embroider #(yes im still working on that klimt piece. why tf did i think the iconic pining painting would be a good idea.)

[sapphic-woes]

ambessa giving maid! reader a day or two.. or three off- because shes been working so hard and ambessa has barely seen her all week!(she misses you too but she wont ever admit it out loud)

in your days off she will let you make all the choices for how the day will go, you wanna sleep in? she already has you wrapped up in her arms. then by the time you have to return to your usual work she asks if you would like to resign and live by her side, you dont need to do anything your not built to work- you can just be her pretty little thing and of course you say yes because who could ever turn down such an offer??

Hmmm since I cannon the maid to be her chambermaid she'd be the one to mostly have Ambessa by her side, at least to help her dress, bathe, etc etc. But maybe Ambessa has a lot of business to take care of, so even those moments are cut short and you're left idly dusting the room.

I think Ambessa would notice how down you seem, though she knows you wouldn't voice it aloud. You're too kind and understanding for that.

So, one night when Ambessa returns late, she decided to help you unwind instead.

Like, I imagine you move to remove her outer garments, but she does it herself first. You're so confused, murmuring a soft "My lady...?" As Ambessa silently strips, till all she has on is her tight tank top and boxers. It's a marvelous sight–getting to see how her body fit her clothing so well, and the way her muscles moved as she turned to kneel before you.

Wait...kneel?

You're lost for words, frozen as Ambessa reaches out to take your hand, planting a chaste kiss against it.

"May I?" The chivalrous manner greatly contrasts the desire in her eyes, and you politely nod, earning a deep chuckle as Ambessa turns you around.

"You have worked hard, my love. Let me reward you." She unzips your dress delicately, letting it pool at your feet with a sigh. She'd missed this. Your soft glow and pretty body, all the ridges and scars that decorated your skin. The work of a maid was unforgiving, and Ambessa cherished the proof of your labour.

"My lady, you have also done much today, I insist that I–" Your protest was cut short, gasping as Ambessa sunk her teeth into the side of your neck. Her hands palmed your breasts, pinching your nipples and eliciting a moan from your lips.

"Hush." Such a simple command, yet it still made you grew more wet in response. You keeled forward, trembling in pleasure as Ambessa began to let her kisses wander across your body.

"I want you, my dear. How might I serve you? You have the ruler of Noxus at your disposal." Ambessa murmured as she kissed as suckled at your skin, determined to leave a map of her handiwork afterwards.

You felt lost under the flow of her touch, helplessly lost in pleasure. How long had it been? Ambessa had been so busy these days, and while you understood, while you didn't want to bother her...

"...My lady, I have been in need lately..." You whispered, embarrassed to admit it aloud. Ambessa only hummed.

"Of?" A beat of silence passed. Your cheeks were bright red, burning as you struggled to get the words out.

"To be. Um, filled with you my lady. I...do not mind working later in the day tomorrow–!"You squeaked as Ambessa pulled you into a deep, heated kiss, as if she hoped to brand her name across your lips. Vaguely, you registered her arms wrapping around your body and lifting you up, and you instinctively wrapped your legs around her waist.

"Take the entire day." Ambessa swiftly said, taking long strides towards the bathing pools. Your stomach twisted something wonderful. You couldn't help but smile brightly back at her.

"As you wish, my lady."

---

Ok wrote this via phone so it's short🤷🏿‍♀️ but yeah it's such a cute idea, though I really like the maid staying as one lmao. Save for the marriage au you'll always be Ambessa's lil' maid😌

#ambessa x reader #ambessa medarda #arcane ambessa #arcane x reader #arcane headcanon

[goldenempyrean]

natasha and reader are dating and they team up to take care of a very sick feverish Yelena, who is being stuborn trying to work despite having a nasty cold. Yelena has no idea of how to take care of herself since is the first time she got sick since the red room so Nat and reader take her home and spend the day taking care of her

Team Work

okay okay. So I may have done this as Yelena and R dating… Dont Yell. Its currently 3:21 AM as of me writing this so thats my excuse. But seriously I’ve written 3 fics in ONE NIGHT. What is going on? Im definitely gonna go to sleep now though. This is highly unedited so expect mistakes. Im way too tired to edit it rn.

Summary: Your girlfriend is sick so you team up with her sister to convince her to take the day off work.

Wordcount:1200

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░

“Yelena, you need to go to bed, now.” You said with a firm sternness as you stood over the blonde woman’s desk, watching as she tried to hide a small cough into her elbow.

“No I don’t. I have stuff I need to do today.” She whined, as she signalled to the big stack of papers at one side of her desk, “I have to sort out all these! Otherwise Stark wont let me keep working here.”

“No no and no.” You said bluntly, trying to keep your cool,“You’re not working. You’re not doing paperwork and you’re not staying here.”

Yelena could be a tough cookie to compromise with during the best of times. Dealing with a feverish and out-of-it Yelena. Well that was just asking for trouble.”

While you were an Avenger, your girlfriend wasn’t but since she was both your girlfriend and Natasha’s sister. Tony had allowed for an office to be built in the upper floors of the Avengers compound for her.

You’d gone up there that morning, with a fresh cup of coffee in hand, to say hello to your girlfriend as per your daily routine. But today was different. Yelena had cone in with red flushed cheeked and a pink tinged nose. It was obvious from a mile away that she was sick. At first you were really concerned and confused as to why she had come in but after 10 minutes of arguing back and worthy it was obvious that she had no idea on how to take care of herself.

“I cant just leave” Yelena said, stopping as her nose twitched.

You took a step back, noticing the twitch in her nose. While she tried, Yelena wasn’t yet a pro of neatly covering her sneezes instead she hovered her hand infront of her face, her fingers spread apart.

“HHh’UTSHIEW!” Her hand did little cover her sneeze and you could only grimace as you imagined just how many germs now covered her desk.

“You should use a tissue next time.” You said matter-of-factly, while you didn’t want to make her feel bad, you really weren’t too keen on catching the nasty cold which had taken residence in her sinsus’.

“I know but I keep forgetting.” Yelena offered with a pout opening one of the files on her desk.

“Its okay, just try to remember- Yelena!” You groaned, taking the file from her hands, “You need to stop trying to work. You’ll end up feeling really awful otherwise.”

“Too late for that.”

“See! Come on, let me take you back your room. You can just sleep this crap off then.”

“No I cant! Stark will be mad.”

It was then that the doors to her office opened and the familiar click of shoes sounded on the floor causing you to give a sigh of relief. Finally. She’d arrived..

“Whats going on?” Natasha asked as she approached Yelena’s desk, “Oh my, Yelena you look awful-“

“Gee thanks.”

“Why aren’t you in bed?” She asked with a firm no-messing-about tone of voice.

You clasped your hands together, thankful for the support, “See. Even your sister agrees with me. You cant be working like this baby.”

“But-“

“No buts.”

“HhH’IISHUEW!” Yelena sneezed suddenly, causing you to jump a little.

“Right. You get her bags and laptop. I’ll get her.” You said suddenly to Nat who gave you an affirming nod as she moved to grab her belongings.

You walked over to where she was sat, to your surprise, Yelena didn’t argue when you hoisted her up from the chair, instead you let her lean against you, keeping your voice low as you asked, “You alright? Don’t go quiet on me sweetie.”

You felt her give a weak shrug, “Just tired that’s all.”

“I know you are sweetie. That’s why me and Nay are gonna take you home, you can get some rest there. You shouldn’t have come in. I don’t care what Stark says.”

Both you and Natasha were a little shocked when Yelena gave a slight nod of agreement. You helped Nat grab the rest of her stuff before the three of you made your way out of the office, down in the elevator and into your room.

“Why are we in your room?” Yelena asked as she realised this wasn’t her room.

“Because it’ll be easily to take care of you here.” You answered, as you instructed her to lay down.

And after 5 minutes of persistence you and Natasha had gotten her to get beneath the duvets

“You have a thermometer?” Nat asked as she glanced over her sister.

“Yep, in the bathroom.” You replied and Nat went to go search for it.

Yelena sniffled from beneath the blankets. Her head felt like it was spinning in multiple directions all at the same time. And there was just that constant itch, it never seemed to ever fully go away, only sometimes getting stronger and causing her to-

“Hh’UTSHOO! Hh’ITSHIEW!”

Luckily for you, the blanket seemed to take most of the brunt from her sneezes. Yelena gave a thick sniffle afterwards as she scrubbed at her nose with her hand.

“Here baby. Blow your nose.” You said, placing the box of tissues from your nightstand on the bed so they were next to her.

“M’kay.”

At the moment Natasha came back, giving a triumphant ‘aha!’ as she found the thermometer in your cupboards.

“Say ah.” She said once Yelena had finished blowing her nose. She did as told, opening her mouth for Natasha to place the instrument inside. You all waited for a moment, a fall silence fell on the room only broken by Yelena’s occasional sniffling.

The device beeped a moment later and Nat clicked her tongue as she read the results, “38.7 so definitely a fever then.”

“What actually feels bad sweetie, you can be honest.” You asked as you came to sit at the other side of your double bed, running your hand through her hair.

“I even know. My muscles ache and my head and throat hurt. Plus my nose is all stuffy so I couldn’t even smell that really good body-spray I put on this morning.”

You raised your eyebrow, surprised she’d had the energy to remember to put on her tropical smelling body-spray.

“Definitely sounds like a cold then.” Nat said as you nodded in agreement.

“Yup. It sure does sound like it. So that means you’re gonna be in bed for afew days maybe.”

Yelena whined at that, “But what about work?” She asked before breaking off into a series of damp congested coughs. You gently coaxed her to sit up so you could rub her back.

“No work. All you need to concentrate on is feeling better and lucky for you both me and Natasha are gonna be here for you the whole time. We’ll get you feeling better together.”

#sickfic #snzfic #marvel sickfic #whump #fluffy #marvel snzfic #mcu #femreader #snz #yelena belova sickfic #yelena belova snzfic #sick yelena belova x reader #sick yelena belova #yelena belova caretaking #yelena belova x reader #yelena belova x y/n #yelena belova comfort #yelena belova fluff #fem!reader x yelena belova #yelena belova whump

[workof-tortured-poetsdepartment]

pt 11? wahhhhh wtf lol

Saturday night- her pov

I am sitting on my bed, watching my closet that I have organized halfway till now, and other half of clothes piled up in boxes tucked beneath, better than being on floor. I should have been stressing about all of the mess I have to clean on Sunday but I don't, I have a date tomorrow with my closest friend tomorrow. I have been smiling since we kissed, if someone saw me they will call me an IDIOT. But I can't stop thinking about him. He looks so pretty when he is shy, he kisses me with such a softness and tender, even our 1st kiss was strong but tender. He is so smart and perfect, he is caring and always honest. I don't have to pretend around him being fine. We share same level of dark humor and random bad flirts, it has been going on. For last 3 years I have know him, somewhere in between the lines from hating him to liking him as a person blurred into loving him for who he is, but now that he loves, no he said maybe, he maybe loves me too, I don't know. I am scared what if I hurt him too, what if my sadness becomes too much for him, he doesn't know how to deal with it. He needs to know about all the therapy sees ions I have taken and my past, that I... I.. killed..someone. My hands are shaking again just with the thought of having to tell him everything. How will he react, will he understand it wasn't my intention? HE will hate me? leave me.. but if that's the right thing okay. I will tell him all of them later today before he makes up his mind about me. I shouldn't keep him in dark now that we.. might become something more than friends. I take in a few breathes calm down Payu your life is better now, you aren't your past and problems you will be fine, you have Luv and Ayan and other friends counting on you. Your brother is depending on you, your family needs you, you have to try harder. I put in my earphones and let songs fill my head letting go of all the thoughts. I am numb.

I didn't knew that I fell asleep, I woke up a while ago to use washroom and now, I am hungry lying on bed. 'aaaaaah' I sigh. I haven't decided what I am gonna wear tomorrow, oh my Goddd I also forgot to ask what time we are meeting from Ayan. I search for my phone.

its 2.56 am and I have a few missed calls from Luv and a lot of texts. I open to check and its Luv, being Luv. First she simps a bit about her partner then she has sent me pics of Mitsy, her cat and then to quote her "for god sake don't wear something all black tomorrow" "and if he tries anything you don't like, feel free to kill him!!!!! I will help to dispose shrimp's body B)" ''and where are u guys going???'' ''do u need me to come over to help u?'' ''yk whut I am still coming, I don't trust you'' ''text me the time asap babe or me will be invading your house tomorrow'' ''night love :3'' I am laughing reading her texts and the way she is more excited for my date than me, but I know why she is. I see Ayan has texted me too, 'I will be at your home till 10 am, wear something comfortable and also pack a set of simple clothes. I wont tell you details yet but I can assure this will be one of your best if not the best XD' I am all shy with the first thought that popped up in my mind what a trash.

I go to kitchen and put water to boil, text Luv to come at my house at till 8 am, after her gym and and set alarm for waking up early. I am too lazy to work now I will just have some instant noodle. and sleep.

sunday////////

*ding dong ding dong ding dong*

'oh my God Luv learn patience' I rush to open the door. 'hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii' she squeals, she has a bubbly personality for most parts, or else murderer, and she is in her gym clothes itself ' and you haven't even showered yet have you??' ' oh you are definitely my babe' she makes a finger heart towards me 'You know me so well meri jaan' I roll my eyes at her 'tch, are you hungry?' 'what have you cooked? and who am I to say no to food??' 'nothing much just a shortcut pasta' 'damnnnn pastaaaa!'she is such a kid 'just give me 10 mins i will take a showers asap' 'NO!' I shout 'not asap' 'ok miss always paranoid' I glare at her as she mocks me with showing her tongue. And she disappears to bath with the same speed she came inside.

She is sitting on the sofa while I have been modeling clothes for her approval, its been 15 mins and whatever I wear, she hates all of them.

'how is this?' 'are you going to give a presentation?' 'ok this?' 'you are kidding me.' ' this?' ' you look like a teacher tired of life in all of them' 'I am tired, if you have a problem in all of them? then why don't you get up and help me out ' and I drag her to my room.

15 mins later, we come to conclusion of me wearing a denim wrap up dress with a black tank inside. I would have not choose it but Luv wont let me wear anything like a set of top and bottoms.

'Payu, can you not wear black one day?' she says in a pleading way ' you know why, and it's barely visible and it works well' 'oh god girl' she says in a dramatic tone and come towards me 'and why are you not showing your sexy assets' she says doing that weird thing with her hands. 'LUV.' I am judging her hard, not really If I was her I would be saying same thing to her. 'you know I don't like it, I am conscious about it too much' 'Its not like he hasn't seen them, infact he was the one losing consciousness, his mind and his sleep over it' she winks at me and I give an angry look to her to shut up. 'Fine miss never break any rule, but he is gonna see them when you are alone' she can't have her mouth shut can she? 'Don't tell me you are gonna stop him if he tries to lay you down if you know what I mean' she is smirking at me, I am blushing and she knows she got me. 'I clearly know what you mean' not that I didn't think about it but now that she said it seems more real what if we.. we do the things today no, no, we can't, its too early and i- i- 'what are you thinking, don't tell me you are already dreaming about things you will do on here' she is sitting on my bed and touching it and damn this girl is really weird, why is she my friend. I am shaking my head in disbelief 'Luv fuck you, and I hate you. I am not thinking anything' but I know my face says a different story than my mouth. 'I will be fucked later for sure' she giggles 'but you are gonna be today.' 'oh my god!!!' I throw a pillow at her 'hahaha you are red like a tomato' 'just go I hate you' she is giggle more and more 'oh you don't I am amazing' and she is right about this 'whatever.' I storm off in bathroom to get my makeup done.

'so how do I look?' I ask her 'very fuckable' she says with mouth full of pasta 'LUV.' 'ok ok, your outfit, its nice and little makeup you did is suitable for this weather, since it rains usually every evening, but ummm something is missing' 'what?' 'wait' she is searching up in my not so secret secret storage mirror damn I love this it was such a rare find. She pulls out the mauve wine lipstick, the one I rarely wear because it stands out too much but I love it. 'you need a darker shade of lipstick you know' 'I don't like to wear dark shades.' I give her a look 'but you still keep buying this' 'yeah because I love how it looks' I am objecting. 'so wear it. don't give me any look, wear it.' I give in her choice because I did thought to wear that shade today but then I didn't maybe I just needed a reassurance, and Luv was right, it was the missing thing. I love how I look. I hope he likes seeing me like this too, even if he has seen me as a mess too.

9.50 AM

'OHHOOOO ''incoming call from KALYANAM<3"' Luv shouts from living room.

'yeah coming' I grab my purse and give me a last look in front of mirror, I FEEL PRETTY.

I pick up the call ignoring the sly smile Luv was throwing at me with making a heart

'He-Hello' I am already smiling 'hii, I am downstairs' He is smiling too 'yeah give me 5 mins coming' I am nervous

tagging @hell-lit011019 @vellibandi @damnn-dorothea @pheonix-thefirebird

(bhaiiiii i didnt thought i would write today but here it comes ahaha next whole date will be from ayan ka pov :D or maybe will jump between both of them)

[centralperkspoison]

the way i loved you | e. munson

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader (She/Her)

Warnings: Fluff, kissing, slight hints towards sex, taking off clothes, no actual smut though, hints towards underage drinking, and yeah!

Summary: Inspired by the song, "The Way I Loved You," by Taylor Swift. Reader is Eddie's ex, who is currently talking with and seeing Steve. While everything is amazing with Steve because he treats reader so wonderfully, and they're thinking about officially getting together, reader can't help but miss the chaos and madness that they had with Eddie. Everything in readers head is decided when she speaks to Eddie for the first time in months at school. (Takes place the year before S4, and reader is a Junior).

Other: I got this idea in the car yesterday when i was screaming The Way I Loved You by Dr. Swift in the car with my bestfriend yesterday. This is all because of her adding it to the spotify queue, so ty &lt;3

(update! me and the person i had previously mentioned and i are no longer friends, so you wont be hearing about her anymore :))

Word Count: 1.8k

---

The lunch room was extra loud today. The chit-chat of students still contained little details about you and Eddie's breakup, which hurt for either of you two to think about, much less see each other daily. He seemed to become quieter during lunch, obviously bothered by the distance between his first, true love, and him. There was no more hopping up on lunch tables or pounding his fists on them, tossing food at his friends, or even making fun of the bitter people who belong to the 'Cult of Baskets,' or 'The Darkside,' as Eddie liked to call the basketball team, but now pure silence on his part. Which you couldn't say much about because you too were moping around after your breakup.

It's not like one of you decided it you lost feelings and cut the other off. It was a long time coming.

There was screaming, fighting, breaking down, coming undone, it was a rollercoaster.

But secretly, to you, that was everything.

The two of you had gone to a huge party the night before at a girl named 'Tina' 's house, where you drank a lot, so Eddie let you sleep at his house. You two both woke up the next morning naked, and with a hangover. At what point in one of the many conversations you two had that day had it taken the turn into a conversation about your entire relationship, you weren't sure, but you two decided it would be best to split up.

So here you were, avoiding the Senior side of the cafeteria at all costs, for what you thought was going to be the end of the year.

Until you weren't.

You had known Steve Harrington for a while, seen as you were (Y/N) Henderson. He was your favorite one out of your brother's friends, (Of course other than Suzie, El, and Max. You loved them.) But you never realized that he was the supposed, "King Steve," That everyone in Hawkins High talked about, so once the two of you started going on dates, the uproar of rumors and gossip that contained the two of your names surprised you.

But you weren't even worried about that. You didn't care how Hawkins High reacted, all you cared about was what he would think. The boy you spent hours with just making fun of the 'top of the food chain' kids, the 'first to die in a horror movie kids', the 'coming from good money shouldn't be your only personality,' kids. The kids like Steve.

You sit in your normal seat by one of the many windows on the Junior side of the cafeteria, staring out of the dirty glass and looking at the sky. Bird watching had become one of the few hobbies you have yet to discover, but you still recognized a few of the pretty birds that flew among the wisps of white in the sky. You had already finished your lunch, and you were just waiting for the final bell that was destined to ring at any minute until you felt two, large arms wrap loosely around your neck.

You quickly turn your attention to the culprit, Steve.

"Done with lunch?" He asks, attempting to remove his arms, but his watch gets caught in your ponytail. "Yep," You respond, moving your hands to his watch so you can stand up. "How are you?" He asks as you untangle his watch from your hair successfully. "I'm good, you?" You answer, standing up to throw away your lunch tray in the trash can five feet away. Once you come back, you notice Steve is already sitting in the seat right across from where you were seated. His expression seemed so genuine in the way he admired you, you loved it.

"So, are you busy babysitting my brother tonight?" You ask, a small smile playing on your lips as you see his flustered reaction. "First of all, (Y/N), I don't babysit him, I just happen to enjoy his company, secondly, if what you were asking was if I'm free tonight, then your answer is yes." He says, smiling. "Great," You respond, giving him a huge, child-like smile. "What for?" He asks, smirking. You pull out a piece of paper with some foreign looking language on the front.

"I wanted to check this restaurant out, see if its as good as I heard it was." You respond, shoving your messy handwriting into Steve's hand. "Okay, cool. I'll pick you up at seven." He responds, giving you a kiss on the cheek as the bell for next period rings.

TIME SKIP

Seven o' clock doesn't take too long to come around, but you still have to do your mascara. You run to your desk and pull out your eyelash curler, and bring it up to your eye as your mother yells for your brother instead of you.

"Dustin, your older friend is here!" She calls, and Dustin comes out of his room shouting. "Mom, what?" He replies, walking out of his room, and locking eyes with Steve. "What are you doing Steve? And why are you all dressed up?" Dustin asked.

Dressed up?

You felt your heart skip a beat at those words. He got all dressed up, just to go try out a new restaurant with you.

After applying your final coat of mascara, you grab your purse and throw on your shoes before running out of your room.

“Hi.” He says once he sees you. “Hey.” You respond, smiling at his starstruck expression. He clears his throat then turns his attention to your mother. “Can I take your daughter out on a date tonight?” He smiles nervously. “Yes, honey. Just at least bring her back before tomorrow.” Your mother smiles, clearly charmed by Steve. “I’m sorry, what?” Dustin calls out, clearly pissed off at the two, “You two are together?” He asks, crossing his arms.

“No, we’re just hanging out Dustin,” Steve smiles. “Alright, well hang out with protection please, (Y/N) is loud enough as it is.” Dustin says, turning around to go to his room. “What he said.” Your mother agrees, turning around to go to the kitchen.

Steve and you open the door and walk out to the car, and he runs to the passenger side with you.

“Let me get that,” He says, "You look beautiful tonight." He finishes, smiling.

He opens up my door and I get into his car, and he says, “You look beautiful tonight,” And I feel perfectly fine.

You can't help but think back to all of your memories with Eddie. While Steve is sensible, and so incredible, and he calls exactly when he says he will, he's close with your mother, he's charming and endearing and you're comfortable. Eddie gifted you a lifetime of memories. While there was so much chaos and craziness imbedded in your relationship, you loved it.

The screaming, the fighting, the kissing in the rain... you wanted it all. As long as it was with Eddie.

But you refused to let that cloud your judgement. You were on a date with Steve, not Eddie.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the date went by in a blur, and for the most part you were quiet. It was incredibly awkward. After he dropped you off, back at your house, you ran up to your room.

Once you enter your room you hear a very familiar yet static-y voice come from your desk that catches your attention. Upon further inspection, you discover it's coming from the walkie-talkie that Eddie gifted you for your seventeenth birthday, on the channel that only the two of you use.

"(Y/N)?" You hear him say. Impossible. We had mutual agreements to not speak to each other ever again. You walk closer to the silver box and hear him speak again. "(Y/N/N)?" He said. He never used that nickname for you, it was only the popular crowd that called you that. "(Y/N), please." He said, starting to sound hopeless. You pick up the walkie-talkie, pull on the antenna, and press the button on the side, "Eds'?" You ask, the nickname that only you ever called him rolling off of your tongue as if it was the most important thing in the world. "Hey," he said, relief apparent in his voice, "Hi," You respond. "Can I come over?" He asked, voice shaky.

You shouldn't. You know you shouldn't.

"No Eddie... You shouldn't." You say, breaking your own heart. "Oh." He said, connection being a little too clear for him to be all the way at his house. "Eddie?" You ask, "Yeah?" He responds. "Where are you?" You ask. You flinch at the knock on your window.

You shouldn't.

But you do.

You unlock the window and knock twice, signaling to him that its open, and you walk over to your bed. Once he reseals the window, He takes about three steps towards you, still being at least five feet away from you. He takes a deep breath, then looks up at you with sad eyes.

"It was a mistake." He said, causing your eyes to water. "It was Eds'. I miss you." You say, standing up and taking a step towards him. "I miss it all." You say.

"I miss screaming, and fighting, and kissing in the rain. When It's 2:00 a.m. and I'm cursing your name over the phone. So in love that we acted insane, Eddie. You were wild, and crazy. Just so frustrating, and that's one of the reasons I love you Eddie. I know I said I couldn't take how chaotic we were, but that's what makes our relationship ours." You say, looking up at him with sad eyes.

He finally closed the space between the two of you, and wrapped one his arms around your waist and pulled you in, and used his other hand to cup your cheek. He used his thumb to wipe the tear off of your cheek. "I missed you too." He said, pulling your face to meet his lips.

His lips were just as you remembered them. This wasn't a goodbye kiss, it was a hello kiss. One of many to come. This kiss made all of the ones that came before it feel like childsplay. He was, and will always be yours, and vise versa.

The kiss grows deeper, his lips feeling like silk against yours. You move your hands up to his hair, allowing your fingers to rake through, and grab on to each piece. He lets out a soft moan as he feels you grip his hair into your soft hands, while he allows his calloused ones to play with the hem of your shirt, finally deciding to tug it off.

"I love you." He says in your ear, allowing his hands to trail up your torso.

(A/N): Okay I like this one... specifically the beginning though, I feel like I got a little lazy towards the end. I hope everyone likes it though?! Also, two posts in one week? Look at me go! Anyway, please leave questions/suggestions in my requests box!

#eddie munson #eddie munson x henderson!reader #eddie x reader #stranger things #stranger things season four #eddie muson fanfic #steve harrington #steve harrington x henderson!reader #centralperksfunds #taylor swift #fearless taylor’s version #the way i loved you #thank you duffer bros #dustin henderson

[revivisection]

its night time you know what that means! this is my diary now. very long week recap ahead.

my teeth are cool and good kind of now. they're actually still pretty awful but my front are work in progress they look mostly fine now and im not so vigilant at hiding my mouth :) not without a week's worth of pain and agony recovery but. you knoow. i will have to go through that again at some point oh well thank god for ibuprofen except it wears off before i can take another one. my upper lip was incredinly inflamed for a few days, bad experience.

you know you never really think about hpw much you use your mouth or just like. feel your mouth generally experience the life experience of having a mouth until there's problems with it. crazy how that works. i for one would have a much better time not having a mouth it's rather disgusting. ideal form i simply absorb energy through airwaves, or perhaps plug myself in to charge

after that i had to enroll in courses i was like surely i will have a fine and okay time. <-full of hubris. i slept through the first hour of course enrollment because i went to sleep at 6am and it opened at 9. so im now on two waitlists which probably wont let up. going to take latin though, going to become more pretentious just you wait. i think this is what you would call a "dark academia moment" but i dont think i actually know what dark academia is. school hasn't started yet but im having the biggest fucking imposter syndrome everyone who has ever told me how smart i am is a fucking liar.

had a fun lil trivia club day with some trivia club buddies. believe it or not, we did trivia. exciting, i know. anyways scratch what i said before whenever i get the right answer in trivia club i am literally the smartest man alive. why do all my friends have absolutely ancient editions of trivial pursuit (the words of someone who doesn't own any board games)

and yesterday i hung out with my dear friend @threecirclingbuzzards!! she let me scavenge through her big bag of miscellaneous patches it was very fruitful. my vest is very empty because i have to make everything myself and i simply do not. so now i have more things to put on it, the real question is when im actually going to sew. it was also cool because we are like brain linked we are like that image of clown-to-clown communication dont need to speak coherently because like. i get it. she gets it. we get it. the clown part is especially true because we were like. what to teens do. hang out at the mall. genius. and then we got there and it was two minutes from closing. genius. at the dollar store i got minecraft stickers god i love minecraft i will be forty fucking years old and not tire of minecraft

over the course of my mouth recovery time i listened to youtube videos to try and distract myself when falling sleep and i listened to a video about the evil within 1. i dont need to give background information but i will anyways.. back in like whenever of this year early this year some time this year i was scrolling through the discussion page of the tumblr sexyman wiki and there was a suggestion post for stefano valentini and i was like. woah. ive seen that man before. ive watched my fair share of oxbox/oxtra vids in my lifetime. and then i proceeded to go crazy. something about him makes me go absolutely nuts like awooga etc. who fucking knows. anyways i was content to never know anything about the evil within beyond that stefano valentini is like absurdly attractive until i watched that video about the evil within 1 while mildly Out Of It and i developed a very sudden crush on ruvik so now i know some things about the evil within. how was your day. another fucked up evil guy who i am compelled by. i cant fix him i cant make him worse but i CAN look at him from afar. all ive been able to draw lately is just ruvik faces idk man he's my latest fixation i guess. got him on the mind (except for when i was catching up on the patho tag today. i love my weekly spam reblogging from the patho tag except this time it's two weeks worth of posts becuase by god i was having a bad time)

perhaps i should actually watch a lets play of tew so i can know like. what the game is like in full properly and shit. shhhhh you dont see my incomplete patho2 save. i would play more horror games if i werent a little bitch, but im not so instead i just play stupid long fantasy rpgs. the sole reason i havent finished pathfinder kingmaker is because of that stupid goddamn darven quest oh my god i hate that man i hate that quest i need to speedrun it get it over with so i can enjoy the rest of the game but i simply cannot take it when the FUCK is he going to show up how much fuckng time needs to pass where are you bitch i need to xget this out of the fucking way so the hellknights stop crashing my place fucking my shit up i hate it her.e.

i wrote all of this because i am insuch! a mood today. idk whats up last nigh t i passed out instantly fell asleep died went to purgatory the moment i laid down on my bed like in an instant ive never been so sleepy in my life. and today i am incredibly humid but more than that the time actually melted away. like pretend time is a stick of butter in my hands except i preheated my hands in the oven for several minutes and the butter didnt even bother to melt so the preheating didnt matter it just slipped off my stupid little fingers. i woke up blinked now its night time. now nearly twelve hours have passed what the fuCK was i doing. nothing. i have no idea how this time passed i feel out of it (different) a different kind of out of it who knows maybe this is my natural tooth recovery time but instead for going outside two days in a row and having fun. this is my body and mind telling me to have less fun. wlel fuck you body and mind im hanging out with friends AGAIN tomorrow. see how you like that fucker. or maybe im just a little baby and its because i forgot to sleep with my stuffed animals last night. i have a build-a-bear longhorn i love him with my life i named him after my wife (artemy) he keeps me company because all i do is sit and rot.

also we havent read new pages of this dark endeavour in like11 days oops. the review WILL happen eventually okay i have so much to say about that wretched novel just when the summer book club completes it

#brain time #personal

[sethredia]

straight up i think period-induced anxiety is the worst. like i have gad so im already anxious constantly but it normally settles at a not-great-but-manageable background hum if that makes sense? but when im on my period that shit goes from like a casual 4/10 to a fucking 14/10 sometimes.

ill be already a lil spooked about x or y thing on a normal day but when im on my period? i cant fucking sleep because im thinking about it and my chest is getting tight and i can feel my heart rate kick up and i roll over and get on my phone to distract myself and yet i know im distracting myself so the distraction doesnt really work and on and on until its three am and i pass tf out

its more manageable when im at work, right, because theres Stuff To Do at work. there a Job Tasks and then Job Distractions which are, in their own way, a different form of job task to me. is it the same fanfic i opened the night before to read but couldnt get through because my stupid, chemical deficient, hormone-addled brain wont let me focus on it? yes. is it different now because im at work and work is an entirely different vibe so now i can get through that story (and maybe a few others depending on length)? also yes!

anxiety example: my boss texted me last night, or i guess now that its gone past midnight would it be the night before last?, and said (frankly very ominously? like even without the anxiety disorder it would be spooky methinks) “call me before you go in tomorrow” and i was like “oh shit oh fuck what did i do i dont think i did anything i mean i had a weird hiccup with counting the drawer out at the end of the shift because i was doing 18.50 in my head instead if 17.50 so i had an overhang of a dollar and so maybe me messing with the dollar while i was trying to figure out what happened showed up and looked weird on the cameras and she saw it and she wants to talk to me about it???” and so that morning i did all my get-ready things and went back into my room, grabbed one of my stuffies for emotional support in the same way i do to make dentist appoints and shit, and bravely called my boss

and then. she said she just wanted to check on if it would be safe to have us open the store because of the snow that night. she lives in the next town over where it snowed a lot (7.5 inches. she stuck a ruler in it and sent me a picture later lol) and wanted to check on road conditions and just a general vibe on it f whether people would be out and about (it snowed in my town 3 inches. if im being generous. most of it melted off before noon. according to my boss, it continued to try and snow where she was on and off all day. what a wild difference like ten miles does to the weather!).

i got so so so scared over like a dollar worth of figured out before i left the building confusion that my boss wanting to just. be a good person. was like nowhere in my thought process.

related but only slightly: i got freaked tf out over one singular dollar and had that shit figured out before i went home for the day, whereas my stupid fucking coworker who is like technically my manager (i think if i had to put a title on her it would be like assistant manager but idk she doesnt have a title on our work schedule but shes above all the team lead kids but i also am that but i know technically shes my boss and she makes ~a dollar/hour more~ than i do so ¯\_(��)_/¯ ) ALWAYS fucks up the drawers somehow. like our manager wants the end count on the drawer to be between $149.50-150.50. Why there is dont know but thats how it goes right? WRONG. every single time i come in and have to open a drawer after this lunatic has closed the night before, the drawers are over $150.50. it is not hard to stick another dollar into your bundle. drop the extra dollar. the drawer should not be at $150.75. drop the dollar. put it at $149.75 please god. this happened today on both drawers (small store; we only have two registers and only have shift overlaps on weekends and evenings so it works).

what Also happened today was that we have little paper slips that go into the drawers so you know what amount theyre supposed to be tallying out to when you count them next to know if everything is good or not. the paper said $150.65. i counted that fucker like six times, did the math on two different calculators three times to make sure it wasn’t me mis-hitting a decimal or something, and discovered it was actually at $155.65. five whole dollars. like im sure for a target thats not a big deal — still noticeable and youd absolutely get yelled at but like big picture and all — but for us thats a decent chunk! this woman simply does not double check anything she does regarding the cash drawers and it outrages me.

ALSO ALSO yesterday i counted out my drawer and it ended on like $150.30. within the boundaries. she put it in for the when the other closer came in. i left at 2:30, this other girl came in at 6:30, so somewhere in that four hours she recounted the drawer. we have a binder we write our numbers in for ~Accountability~. she wrote and initialed that it was at the $150.30 i counted it out to. this drawer, for the three or so hours its running that evening, handles no cash. written in the binder it has a big ol NO CASH written through in the Cash In and Deposited sections. the drawer closed at $150.75. where??? did that extra??? .45¢ come from??? and like what a weird amount too! thats not a two-quarter whoopsie, thats a whole mess of coins. four dimes and a nickel. a quarter and two dimes. other combinations im too tired to list. and like when i counted it that next morning it was at that $150.75. which is impressive, as the last time a NO CASH she wrote that had different starting and ending numbers, it turned out that there wasnt actually a difference, and that the original starting number was in fact still the amount in there. her ending number was also off by like .37¢ or something that time so like.

man. tell me you dont count out the registers properly without telling me you dont count them out properly.

anyway all of this is to say: periods suck and i hate them and i fucking wish i could sleep instead of worrying about what im currently worried about.

#the sideblog strikes again #personal #journaling

[indigo474]

Oct 15th- sunday funday

I've been nothing but tired and hungry all weekend. I've been sleeping really good and eating healthy food. lots of protein and veggies. i was tempted to order out tonight but decided against it. My body- oh my body.. I woke up with my back hurting.. and me being sore. i'm guessing from packing and picking up boxes and moving things here and there. i was thinking this must be how people feel when they complain about being/getting old. i did go for a run- it wasn't the best- my body just feels worn out. I got a lot done today... mostly everything is packed- i have a lot of clothes and a lot of shoes. too much- i think i will be unpacking forever.... I had to repack all of the old photo albums. i was able to skim through them without crying. i did get emotional when i found a picture of my Mom and Grandmom- ohh how i miss her. she was smiling big in the picture. thats the thing about pictures- they show the good times- the birthday parties and the holidays. everyone's happy and smiling.. how many nights did i sit in the front room scared to even move.. i would sit on the couch frozen waiting for him to go to bed so i could go in the kitchen and clean up from dinner. how great of a mom could i have been? I was there but not really there.. ahh and the more i'm able heal the more i realize how sick i was.. i just didnt know it.. and this is where self forgiveness come in.. the absolute hardest thing i have done and have to do is forgive myself-it's not something that is done once and move on.. oh no- it's just like everything else on this journey- the healing happens a little at a time.. it's a spiral.. things that would have floored me in the past.. no longer do. bit by bit- day by day.. i'm no longer clawing my way out of a black hole.. pain comes- pain goes.... sit with it, feel it, let it change you and let it go. weird i saw something today that i saw in a dream.. a procession of sorts.. i still don't know what i saw- in my dream i asked- what are they doing- who did i ask? I dont know, but i got an answer.. today i asked myself- i wonder what they are doing- very strange to me.. seeing something in my dreams and seeing it in real life. it's not the first time its happened. hopefully it wont be the last. its always odd- holy shit i dreamed this.. i fucking saw this in my dreams-it's normal in a sense because i'm seeing it for the 2nd time- and its happening.. but is it really normal? Someone said to me in casual conversation, yeah its like when birds fly into your car.. i didnt say anything at the time but i was like wow that happens to you to?? a few weeks later i asked her if she remembered saying that to me and she said yes it happens to me all the time.. i told her it happens to me too. I asked her if it was normal and she said she didn't know, i asked her if she thinks it happens to other people and she said she didnt know.. i told her i thought it only happened to me until she said it happens to her. she said weird stuff happens to her all the time.. me too, me too.

I cant believe this is really happening... i need to find someone that knows how do stuff. I need a new garbage disposal.. and a battery back up for the sump pump.. maybe i can do it by watching a few youtube videos. maddy is worried about money.. i am not. not yet anyway.. i dont want to worry... i want to enjoy this time in my life.. i want to enjoy my life period.. no worries.. just love .. its all going to workout.. all of it.. good things good things.. i have to believe in something.. i have to believe that what's ahead of me is much much better than that is behind me.. i haven't lived my best days yet. busy busy week..

[poolofthoughtsbyclaire]

03/31 ENTRY: tuning in

Last 2 days were hell! Ive been sleeping late, waking up late, barely moved, and cried my eyeballs out. It was so fucking stressful. I cant even remember what triggered my anxiety but yesterday was definitely because of my mother. I greeted her good morning like I usually do and even told her sorry for texting her late in the morning. I told her I didnt get enough sleep that night because I was up until 2am. She then asked if I was anxious because I dont have a job right now. And I told her no. Because that is the truth. I didnt sleep we not because I dont have a job but because of someone. OH NOW I REMEMBER! I had flashbacks the first night of my sleepless nights. I remembered the good things again and just like a strike of a lightning, memories of me hurting her, cheating on her and shouting at her came and drowned me. I hate it when I get flashbacks. So, I simply told her that the reason behind my sleeplessness is also the reason why I needed to resign and take a break. She jokingly added “Just go home then” and I just needed to be honest with her so I told her “Also the reason why I wont go home”. My hometown is full of memories, dark memories to be exact. And at times, I felt like its suffocating to be there. You’ll never know who you’ll bump into. GenSan is a small town and almost all of the population there knew each other and I dont want that. Especially seeing those people who worked with my mom. I dont like seeing their faces. I hate it when they talk so nicely to me but when I turn my back, they speak bad things about me and I just kept remembering that day when someone messaged my mom and just told every secret I had. Tattoos, drinking, smoking, kissing girlfriends. That anon even knew my tattoo placements. It was creepy and that messaged spread all across all branches of ****bank. I will never forget that.

My mom asked if I could share with her the reason and I know that she wouldnt understand so I just told her “When the time is right maybe I’ll be able to tell you.”. And she literally said that if I know that it would kill her then no. And that I should wait after her death like WHAT THE FUVK?! I hate her for saying that. And the emotions I felt just rushed through my veins and I my tears started to fell down my cheeks. I suddenly couldnt breathe. The thought that my own mother wouldnt even try to understand me fucking hurts like hell that it felt like she’s sucking the air out of my lungs killing me. IT MTHERFUVKING HURTS.

But someday, I hope that I’ll be able to tell her this:

“You know what keeps hurting me ma? Because I couldnt forgive myself. I cant find the light to forgive myself for what I have done. I feel miserable. I feel guilt. If I hadnt let myself be manipulated by you then maybe I wouldnt feel this way today. Maybe if I had just listened to my heart, maybe none of these traumas will be present today. I kept breaking up with her out of the blue telling her that I need to choose my family. And it didnt happened just once, I broke up with her hundred of times. Imagine the trauma I gave to her. Until the day that I became possessive of her. I cheated so I could get her attention, I cheated couple of times and most of time, she catches me red-handed. I started shouting at her mean things that I know scarred her for life. I broke her into pieces and every time we get back together, it isnt just the same anymore until we got toxic. And it was all because of me. If I hadnt let you get into my conscience none of these wouldve happened. We had flaws but we never meant to hurt each other. Dagdagan pa ng fact na, glg relationships back then were not yet open for everyone to understand so we had a hard time adjusting just not to hurt each other’s feelings. I kept on breaking up with her then get back to her for the reason “Im choosing my family.”. I know it’s supposed to do me good but look what happened? And I just couldnt help thinking if it went the other way around maybe we’re still happy together. Maybe I didnt had these much tattoos. Maybe I never tried smoking. Maybe I never got wasted. Maybe I didnt let some strangers touch/kiss me. Maybe I wouldnt be this empty. Maybe I/we wouldve been happier. Healthier even. And if our relationship back then never worked, maybe I wouldnt be the same person that I am today. Maybe Id be different today and I wouldnt be feeling all of these things right now. I’m sad ma. I really loved her and I couldnt believe and forgive myself for hurting her. And over the years that we werent together anymore, I just know that my connection to her never vanished. I can still feel my deep connection with her. I may have forgotten about her for a period of time but every piece of her in me is buried deep inside my heart without even me realizing it. I thought if I’ll be able to tell you this, I can slowly see the light to get out f this trap-hole. I wanted my inner self to let you know what you caused me and stop gaslighting me for being gay. There are just days you make me want to kill myself. But I accepted you for who you are. I accepted the fact that you’re homophobic. Im sorry if I disappointed you but Im disappointed with you too.”.”

Im so tired y’all. All these thoughts I carried with me through the years. I hope by letting it all out here in Tumblr will make difference.

#personal #somethingwithoutlimits #typo #typography #sad #words #journal #original #love #diary #writing #kv

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. honey nut cheerio lefty eyebag! 😌

I sent it last night haha my friends left around 1230 then I was up a bit longer just cleaning up. I think I finally went to sleep around 2 am. So right now I am tired, have a headache, hungry and cold lol

How are you today? Any fun plans for today or the week?

That sounds like a fun and crazy place to go to lol was it hard for the jello to come out of the syringe?

It reminds me of how I like to host parties. I always do like a theme and do creative stuff with the food and drinks. Like a couple years ago, for Halloween, I bought a bunch of skull shot glasses and did like an cherry schnapp drink. Then I made pigs in a blanket, but made it look like a mummy 😂

No, I haven't tried Korean cold noodles. Is that the one where you dip it in the broth? Yeah, the ramen place and sushi place I usually go to is at the food court in the mall. So they have just limited kinds of stuff. You know, I want to try hot pot and do Korean BBQ. But there is no place here in Omaha for that.

So when it's summer, do you just stay inside if it's really hot out? Or do you still do fun stuff like go to the lake or beach?

Ah I get what you mean then. That's not weird though haha I agree with you 😁 but then that's the hopeless romantic in me speaking 😅

Do you have any summer vacation plans?

-CuriousGeorge

Ah i see.. that was too bad. When u were up late, i fell asleep earlier 😅 if i stayed up i couldve accompany u through here while u were cleaning.😁

How r u feeling? R u feeling better?

What did u end up eating?

Im okay. Just tired n sleepy i dont know why. I dont have plans. I hv endless laundry to do 😅

Been trying to rearrange a bit of the living room n em's room so the big toys she got would fit without cluttering the house 😅 i actually feel claustrophobic right now with stuff all over the house, suitcases, laundry to fold. So im trying to make myself feel better.

This weekend, my husband's cousin might come visit, if not, maybe next weekend.

It was a fun place to go eat. The burger was pretty good. What's crazy is u can order up to 8 patties in the burger.. n if u weight over 250 or 300lb i think, u will eat free. Crazy.. what's irony is that restaurant is owned by a heart doctor.. the place is called heart attack grill or heart attack burger. (I forgot)

N yes the jello shot comes out of the syringe easily. 😁 n it tastes pretty strong.

Wow u sound creative decorating ur party. Would love to go to the party u have.😁

Yes some place serve cold noodle separated from the cold broth, some serve it in a cold broth but both get horseradish sauce in it or wasabi paste on the side that u can mix it in.

Ouuuuh hot pot and korean bbq is my favorite! I love them. Soupy ffood n grilled food r my favorite. Im not really a fan of fried food. I hope u can try them someday.

I mostly stay inside the house n let the ac on non stop.hahaha. i wont go out if i dont really have to. I dont like the heat nor getting tanned.🤣 i love the beach but not when it's really hot. 😅 i love how calm it is but when it's too hot, there r too many people n thats whn it makes me uncomfortable.

Ouh so u admit that u r hopeless romantic.. thats nice. I love romantic people, even though i dont think i am that romantic. But then again, like i told u, people who read my fluff thinks that im hopeless romantic 😁

We dont know yet. We plan either go on a cruise or florida or to Cali again for his birthday n his mom birthday so Em can spend time with her. N go to disneyland with his mom too.

I kinda told him the best decission would be go to cali so em can make core memories with her grandma. U?

Next question(s)

Cheerio!

#chellez answers #ask answered #anon answered #curious george anon

[a-moth-to-the-light]

when your alarms don't go off but you aren't exactly mad about it (dec 07, 2022)

It's been a little bit since I've done one of these! Life is hard, especially since I've been living in a triggered state for a little while now, but I appreciate getting to sit down and write, even if it's not too often!

Spotify Wrapped, 2

Today, we're talking about my Top Songs 2022 playlist, as created by Spotify! My comments, straight from my brain to your home heating system:

a. The lack of Bruce Springsteen here is surprising--I figured we might get "Lonesome Day" or "Land of Hope and Dreams" or "The River", all of which have been on my mind this year, in there somewhere, but the only Springsteen song on the list was "I'm Goin' Down" (though it was at #13, which is kind of awesome). It's a fantastic song that definitely matched my mood this year, so I'm glad it got represented-- but where's the rest of my Springsteen? How am I supposed to prove my fanboy status if Spotify does this to me :(

b. The artists tied for most songs on the list are Red Velvet & Bad Suns, each with five songs! Last year, only GFRIEND had five songs on the list--it's fun to have a tie this year! (And yes, one of those songs was "Mago"--even though we didn't know it was a goodbye song back then, there's something about it that just makes it the perfect way to finish off such a glorious career.) Perhaps most impressive is that all five Bad Suns songs are from only two albums total--I've actually only listened to two of their four albums, and yet I've already found so many classics!

c. There are four songs that have managed to make my Top Songs lists for three years straight now (my lists from 2018 & 2019 are very different, as my taste shifted a lot in 2020, so no songs have made it on more than three lists)--"As If It's Your Last" by Blackpink, "Bad Boy" by Red Velvet, "Blueming" by IU, and "Why So Lonely" by Wonder Girls (And "I Feel You" is back for its second year! Yay Wonder Girls!). Usually, when people gush about "Bad Boy" (as Reveluvs on YouTube are wont to do), I think okay, I don't really get it but I'm glad they're happy. I'm fully on team "Really Bad Boy", but apparently I like "Bad Boy" more than I thought I did. Also don't make fun of me for having "Why So Lonely" on here... yes I feel chronically empty inside and yes I need a passive-aggressive sadgirl anthem to help me through it and yes that hasn't changed in three years and probably never will! (lighthearted)

d. WHY WON'T SPOTIFY LET ME SORT THIS GODDAMN LIST BY ARTIST??!?!?!?!

e. Both songs from Sumni's Heart Burn single made it into my top 20!

f. UNNATURAL BY WJSN IS BACK FOR A SECOND YEAR AND SHE DESERVES IT SO SO MUCH

the day, in short

So I actually never fell asleep on Tuesday night, and I ended up giving up on trying to sleep around four a.m. and just heading to the gym when it opened at six! Then I had the glorious experience of age-regressing at the gym in the hell-hours of the morning: tottering around the track, watching the sunrise, and struggling to relearn how to put gloves on. Being a kid is tough, but it really did feel magical to enjoy the gym through a child's eyes, especially with the novelty of being there so early in the morning (we usually take our walks around the track right before dinner)!

After our first class, we got to take a nap! We always like falling asleep in the daytime so much better than falling asleep at night--the only issue is that people keep wanting us to do things during the day. sigh We ended up napping wayyyyy too long, though, oversleeping our alarm and missing a class (+ the start of our other class). This is what happens when we forget to take our sleeping pills--we don't sleep at all, and then, when we take one the next day, all the tiredness catches up to us. I'm pretty sad about missing those classes, since I was really excited for some of the stuff happening, but I'm glad I got such a nice nap--I'm struggling with emotion-management already, so trying to do so on even less sleep would probably have been even more hellish. My body knows what it needs; it really is looking out for me :)

And yes I know I'm switching between I & we here! That's a pretty common thing I do when talking about myself, so hopefully it's not too confusing! It just makes the most sense to me to use a mix of both, especially when I'm comfortable enough that I don't feel the need to mask! arm wave for emphasis

Quote of the Day

#tittyequality

-- not me this time, though this is probably something i would say (embarrassed)!

#six keeps on running

[sesaxton]

We All Need A Little Christmas cheer

Sitting here in Starbucks after a very stressful few months sipping out of a holiday cup. Only retail stores show any sign of Christmas. Yes I know it is only November but what is wrong with celebrating for two months? Its acceptable for Halloween why not for Christmas? Christmas has always been my favorite time a year. A whole new excitement comes with it and a warm happy feeling. With so much bad stuff always happening I need Christmas.

We had to make some temporary changes in my life that has added a whole new kind of stress and depression on me. I feel like I am constantly going with no end in site. My beautiful baby thinks 5/6 am is morning even though it is still dark. If she sleeps all night I cant protest to that. I pick her up and she hugs me with her sweet little arms then I give her a bottle before her puree breakfast with a side of berries. My husband will get up a bit later to feed the dogs and get ready for work. He will take the baby after he is ready so I can eat breakfast and get dressed for the day. After im ready he will kiss us both and head out for the day. My baby girl loves him so much and he is such an amazing dad. The bond those two have bring tears to my eyes.

Then I go on with my day, trying to entertain a 8 month old all the while trying to teach her new things and keep her from screaming for no reason other than she likes to scream. I am lucky if I get laundry started before he comes back home. I put a Christmas movie on in the background as she isn't interested in tv yet. It calms me a bit. I usually have the baby fed, bathed and ready for bed before my husband returns. He takes over after he winds down and he gets her to bed for the night. We are a great team. I have just been so overwhelmed; by not only this routine (Which I know it doesn't sound like much) but by other things going on in the background I wont post for privacy reasons. So many things going on I have a constant headache and a feeling that the walls are closing in on me. Today my husband let me take a mental health day. Sadly nothing is going how I want it to and I feel more defeated. I probably need to mediate again but its tricky to find the time and a quiet place to do it. So this brings me back to Christmas the one thing I can hold onto.

One of the great feelings I remember as a child or even a teen is the warm feeling at home. The warmth from the fireplace, the soft glow of the Christmas tree and the smell of fresh cookies being made. One of the cats curled up next to the fireplace and does the little mrrr when it sees me and lets me pet its soft fur. The warm heat on my face as I admire the tree I helped decorate. Each ornament had a special story or place in our hearts. Under the tree a ton of gifts carefully wrapped by my mother and put out too early because that's what we do. Later that night we would put on a Christmas movie we would all agree upon and laugh at the jokes we have heard a million times. My family that is what makes my Christmas magical. It is hard to always have ones that don't understand that. My ex and my new husband their Christmases weren't as magical and they didn't get or give gifts like mine did. (not that it is about gifts at all. However my mom and mine love language is gift giving).

So if all I have is Christmas then I will celebrate the best I can with the little I have. Christmas has done me good and I will keep it all year long!

#christmas #celebrate #Baby #Stress

[dylansslutt]

just tell me / j.m

JJ Maybank imagine :)

Prompt: you and jj both liked each other, but to stubborn to admit. When something goes down at the bonfire, feelings get confessed

Warnings: season2 spoilers!!!, cussing, fighting, drinking underage, weed.

——————

the air felt nice, especially considering schools about to start. The bonfire was going down today, it happens every year before school starts. you and the pogues sat around the chateau, killing time until we had to leave.

john b and sarah got into it, so you had no clue where she was. yet you didn’t bother to ask, john be clearly looked pissed. you were seated next to jj, his hand running up and down your thigh.

the rest of the group thought the two of you would end up like john b and sarah... you weren’t ready to play that game. jj was the best, your best friend; but he had a reputation. his record of keeping a girl lasted about a night or so... kicking them out the next morning.

he was cute, definite ladies man. he was funny, mostly genuine when with his friends. yet, you weren’t about to risk saying anything, especially when you had no idea if he even viewed you like that.

you sat quietly, causing him to glance over at you. “hey?”

“You good ?” he softly pokes you, your head nodding. your mind carried away with thoughts. some about your family issues, other danced around the fact that you were up late reading some steamy books. having the desperate need of something more stuck in the back of your head.

“You sure? You’re quiet today.” his voice brought you out of your daze, you sigh. “yeah, jay ‘m fine.” you stood up, heading outside for a breathe of fresh air.

you missed the look john b threw towards jj, or the way jj followed your retreating figure with his eyes.

"what’s up with her today?” john b asked jj, who just answered with a shrug.

You let your feet dangle in the water. the frustration felt like it was just bubbling at the surface, you wanted to be away from everyone at the moment. not wanting to pop off someone, just because you couldn’t find someone to take the edge off.

that’s when a idea popped into your head. you could just find a cute boy at the party tonight; a great distraction. someone to help take the edge off. it was decided, you were gonna have a good fucking time, find someone who was worth it, and let out some much needed relief. no feelings, no problems.

“So you gonna tell me what’s up?” JJ plopped down beside you, nearly causing you to let out a startled scream. you slap his arm softly, “ya’ scared me, jesus.”

he laughed, nudging your shoulder. “wassup? for real.” you bit your lip softly, deciding to be honest.

“if im honest, promise you wont laugh.” you held your pinky out, and he nods linking his pinky with yous. “promise.”

“im frustrated today.”

his eyebrows raised, “wha- ohh. wait how come?”

you glance at him confused, “what do you mean ‘how come’. girls have needs too, come on jj.” his hands raise in defense, “didn’t say ya’ didn’t, just confused is all. i mean come on, you don’t have anyone to handle that with?”

“no jj, im not like you. i don’t just sleep with whoever, whenever... but tonight i think i might pull one of your moves.” he laughs at that. “why didn’t you just ask me instead?”

you choke on your spit, do what. ask him? you bust out laughing. “Ask you? god your funny.” he pouts, “i don’t see why your laughing. im pretty skilled, if i do say so myself.”

you stare at him in disbelief, “you must think your hot shit, but also we can’t. no pogue on pogue macking remember?”

he rolls his eyes, “that’s bullshit and you know it, but hey. if you don’t end up going home with someone, offers still available.” and with that he stood up, leaving you confused and alone.

what the fuck just happened?

you stood around a group of people, a drink in your hand. you felt a tap, jj hands you a blunt. “thank ya’ sir.” you mock a fake english accent, taking the blunt from him. you didn’t let earlier affect you, just allowing yourself to feel free.

the waves sending a nice breathe over your body, you hit the blunt a few times. you were having a good time, not too drunk; just feeling good. you had some soft maroon shorts on with a black oversized crop top on. something simple and cute, hopefully cute enough for a distraction.

you pass the blunt back to jay, before heading over to the keg. you giggle to yourself as you refill your cup. “hey, mind if you fill me up too?” a voice spoke up behind you.

your eyes flick towards a cute boy, he was tall. you allow yourself to scan his features, blond hair, blue eyes, dimples. he was fine. you hold the nozzle out towards his cup, “sure.” you were now playing your game.

you allowed your doe eyes to challenge his, a soft smile etching your face. “thanks, uhh...” he allowed you to reveal your name. “y/n. but you can call me y/n/n”

“austin, my friends call me jackass.” he jokes, making you softly giggle, even though it really wasn’t that funny. “so you from here?” he keeps the conversation going. you nod as you take a sip of the beer.

“born and raised, what about you?” he shook his head. “nah, we’re actually from tennessee. but my parents have a beach house here, so we come down a lot. like 5/6 times a year.”

you nod, “that’s really cool, i’ve never been to tennessee before.” you reach in your bra, pulling your vape out. “it’s not a bad place, i just like the beach more.”

“yeah, i dont know what i’d do without the ocean. its my safe haven.” you confessed, you glance back at the boy seeing him already staring at you.

“do you have a boyfriend?” you laugh, “god no.” his eyebrows raise at that.

“hmm.”

you give him a confused look, “what’s the hmm for?” he shakes his head. “nothing.” you scoff, jokingly pushing him. “i don’t believe you.”

he chuckles, “it’s just funny, you’re pretty as fuck, smart too.” you felt your cheeks heat up, not use to such compliments. “well thank ya’.”

you take another gulp of your beer, before settling back into the atmosphere. “what about you? got any girls back home?” he shook his head, “nah.”

“See that’s crazy, a guy as cute as you. hard to believe.” you toy with him, he glanced down at you. a smirk evident on his lips.

“y/n? yo i’ve been looking everywhere for ya’.” a voice called from a few feet away. you look over your shoulder, a high ass jj making his way towards you. you roll your eyes, telling austin to give you one second.

“well i’ve been right here the entire time, what ya want jay? im kinda in the middle of something.” you mumble out the last part since you weren’t that far from the other boy.

he glanced over your shoulder, “oh come on, y/n. i gave you a option, not for you to choose a look alike.” your jaw dropped at that statement.

“the fuck? im not sitting here choosing your god damn doppleganger, jj! im so sorry that your upset i didn’t accept your half assed fucking offer you give every other girl, but i have respect for myself. and i thought you would too.”

with that being said you turn around walking back over to the other blond, rolling your eyes in annoyance. the fucking nerve that boy has, god what the hell.

“you okay?” austin questioned you, you finished off your cup. “yeah, all good.” you refill your cup again, turning back to the boy. “i wanna smoke, you got any bud?”

austin nods, “yeah actually it’s in my bag, over there.” he leads you towards a small group, his hand intertwined with yours. there were two boys in deep discussion. “guys.” austin cleared his throat.

the two boys look up, “this is y/n, y/n this is sam and alex.” you silently wave at the two boys, both of them saying hi. you and austin sat beside them, him reaching into a backpack.

he pulled out a tray, grinder, rillos, and a baggie of weed. “oh someone was prepared.” i joke causing the boys to laugh.

“of course, never leave the house without it.” austin began to get to work, the other boys fall back into conversation. you glance at his bag, eyes landing on a baggie of pills. your eyes furrowed in confusion.

you glance back at the tray, observing everything. his hand looked as if it held something in it. it seemed sketchy. “hey, real quick let me go grab my phone before someone steals it.” he nods and i get up and leave.

you quickly get away from them, not even bothering with that shit. you see kie and walk over to her. “i need a drink.” you mutter, stealing her fresh new one.

“okay just steal mine.” you stayed quiet, gulping the drink down. “you okay?” her figure now in front of you.

“me and jj got into it, and this guy austin brought me over to his friends to smoke but they had pills... and he was being sketchy.” you rambled out, running your hands through your hair.

her eyebrows raised, “well they wont mess with you, i’ll make sure of it. what happened between you and jj though?”

you shake your head, “nothing, i need another drink.” you hand her back the empty cup walking off. your eyes scan the area, shockingly enough you see sarah with topper.

“what the fuck...” you muttered. you grab a cup pouring half the vodka bottle in it. you scan the scenes around you, john b was talking with some brunette, kie stood talking with pope. yet you couldn’t see jj.

you sigh, throwing back some of the liquor. tonight was supposed to go way different. you turn around going to leave when austin is once again in front of you.

“you left.” he states, you bit your lip. “yeah sorry i have to uh-”

“uh.. you know where im from that’s considered rude.” his arms cross, making you glare up at the boy.

your eyes flicker to the left seeing jj staring at you, you desperately hoped he saw your eyes. instead he just looked away, talking with the girl beside him.

“yeah, see... i got to go.” you made way to move past him but his hand caught your arm. “are you for real?”

you rip your arm from his grasp, “dont fucking touch me.”

you ignored jj’s concerned glance, just ready to leave. you made way through the people. john b’s face appeared, “y/n!”

you roll your eyes, “hey.” your arm on the other hand was hurting from the guys grip. john b glances down at it, “dude, what happened?”

you shake your head, “some guy grabbed me. im okay thou-” your voice got cut off by the sound of people yelling. your head swung around, jj on top of austin.

“oh my g- JJ!” you rush forward. john b and pope pull him off the guy, jj face still enraged. “bet you won’t do it now pussy!” he spits down at the guy, his face bleeding. his friends made way over as the rest of us move out.

“what was that?” kie questions, your mind asking the same thing. jj eyes found me, a glare evident. “ask her.” he storms off.

everyone stared at me confused, “wh-what? the guy he beat up is the guy i told you-” you pointed at kie. “that was being sketchy. he came back and grabbed me but i left. i dont know why jj fought him though.” you confessed, now stressed about the whole thing.

with that being said you followed jj, “jay.”

your voice called out,you two getting closer to the van. “what” frustration clear in his tone. “why are you being such a dick? i didn’t even do shit to you!” you were over his fucking attitude.

he ignored you walking up to the van only for it to be still locked. “are you kidding me?” he mutters.

“so you just gonna keep ignoring me?” you stand in front of him now. “what do you want me to say y/n?” his tone softer this time.

“tell me why you got in a fight, would be a good start.” you crossed your arms. he rolls his eyes, “i was defending you. i saw how he grabbed you, and you didn’t hear the stuff he said after you left.”

your eyes soften, “you didn’t have to fight him for me. i appreciate it though.” he shakes his head, laughing softly.

“you still don’t see it?” now you were confused, what was he talking about?

“what don’t i see?” without hesitation his lips landed on mine. you freeze for a second before pushing him off.

“what the fuck jj? did you not hear me earlier?” you walk away from the van not even caring to get a ride home. you were so annoyed with him.

“i fucking love you. y/n y/l/n!” he yells from behind you, making you hault. you slowly turned to face him. “don’t lie to me.”

he looks at you in disbelief. “you know me like the back of my hand. why would i lie about this.” tears filled your eyes. “you love me?” you were shocked.

“yes. i am in love with you.”

you throw yourself in his arms, “oh thank god. i love you too.” you kissed him this time

#JJ Imagine #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank #jj maybank fic #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank fluff