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#anti harry hook
hitchell-mope · 5 months
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Mal: I need motivation not to kill Harry today.
Ben: I can't kiss you if you're in prison.
Mal: okay. Phew. That should tide me over for the next half hour or so.
Ben: see you in 30 minutes.
Mal: it’s a date.
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dizzydizney · 1 year
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Evie: Did something happen? Carlos: Didn't you hear about Chad's fights with Jay and Harry? Carlos: Both my fault, by the way Evie: Yeah, I'm like 95% sure they were both Chad's fault, and I wasn't even there
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theamityelf · 1 year
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In-Universe Descendants Memes, Part 3
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couragehopelovefaith · 9 months
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I finally fell down the "Descendants"-rabbit hole (better late than never) and watched all three movies back to back. Here are my first thoughts that came to mind:
Maybe a controversial opinion, but the third one was the best in my eyes and the first one gets the last place, even though it has many wonderful moments too. (That being said, I deeply dislike the very last scene of the third movie, since even for a Disney-movie, everything seemed to be forgiven way too fast and easily.)
2. Say what you want about the movies, but the actors are very talented and dedicated and the songs are absolute bops that will hold up for a very long time.
3. I have never had more conflicted emotions about any protagonist than I have about Mal (I might make a separate post about it later, but others have explained it better than I could, so... :) ).
4. Evie would've been more fitting ruler, in my opinion.
4. My shipper-heart beats into so many directions, but I can't truly root for Ben and Mal. The way their love story began was shady (beautifully expressed) and they both had better connection and chemistry with so many other characters.
5. Ben was done so dirty multiple times, and I feel like he is very underrated.
6. Speaking of chemistry... Harry Hook seems to be Theo Raeken of the "Descendants"-universe - he has chemistry with literally anyone. A huge part of me loves Huma and wanted them to end up together, but the connection and sparks he, Gil and Jay have going on.. ;) I also wanted to know more about the obvious romantic past between Hook and Mal. (Hook seems to be one of my favorite characters in many fandoms, huh.)
7. The fact that they didn't make Malvie canon is a huge crime (nothing against Doug, though, he is a great guy).
8. Uma and Audrey deserved so much better, to be honest.
9. Carlos is such a wholesome and sweet bean, he deserves the world as well. I would love to have him as a friend. What happened to Cameron was so tragic and unfair, and thinking about it while seeing his radiating presence on screen made me constantly tear up.
10. I never would've thought I'd say this in any circumstance, but Hades is hands down the best villain-parent and I truly hoped to see more of him.
All in all, I liked the movies way more than I thought I would and they make me feel really nostalgic. ...Plus, the songs will surely be stuck in my head for the next couple of weeks.
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dani-luminae · 7 months
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That's an insult to Tinkerbell...
Then again, I doubt Harry cares.
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exhaustedpirate · 1 year
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Don't know why but people who ship Lily Evans and Severus Snape and the excuses they come up with as to why Lily and James Potter are a toxic ship remind me of people who think Killian Jones and Emma Swan is a toxic ship.
Both shippers remove any sort of decision from the female half of the ship as well as equate them to dolls that are just fine being pushed into whatever situation the male half of the ship puts them in.
Lily Evans and Emma Swan are strong women who are very capable of choosing the person they love and they will not be persuaded by a pretty face into things that they do not consent to.
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Reprise 2.0 - Harry Hook x reader - Part 7 - Liar
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Jane raced across the concrete steps of the museum of history, Gil and Doug at her heels. It was almost midnight: she had looked for her mother everywhere at the school, their house, the forest trail leading to the enchanted lake, the castle, anywhere she could think of where her mother could be. Nothing, not even a glimmer of glitter. Finally, they had arrived at the museum and as they went to go inside to grab the wand, Jane spotted the stone form of…oh gods, her mother. She turned on her heel and bolted towards her mom, tears burning in her eyes as she almost tripped over herself, Gil reaching out and catching her before she broke her face on the concrete, she nodded her thanks and got level with her mother’s eternally shocked face, her hands up in defense.
“Oh, mom” Jane whispered, reaching out and caressing her mother's cheek “what a hell of a way to spend my birthday huh?...don't worry, we got it all figured out” she kissed her mother’s stone-cold forehead and turned, grabbing the boy’s by their elbows and dragging them into the museum, passing by the sleeping guards and deactivated cameras until they reached the wand room; the item floating above them within its force field.
Jane held her hand out towards the wand, taking a deep breath as she realized this would be the first time she held it since the coronation. But she could handle it now, she knew her worth, and she wouldn’t make any mistakes this time. She muttered a spell under her breath in fae language, the barrier shimmering as the wand glowed periwinkle, floating down into Jane’s grasp.
Jane almost gasped as its magic flowed through her, her eyes glowing for a  split moment. Gil and Doug stared at her, both very much remembering what had happened the last time. Jane nodded and turned, the wands confidence flowing through her veins. They all walked back out of the museum, Jane running over a million plans within her head. Now she had the wand, Auradon had a backup plan; her. Now…when would she know to use it? Would she just have to wait to hear Maleficent cackled in victory? Would there be a signal?
Jane took a deep breath, rubbing her face as she walked away from the museum with the boys in tow, she just hoped she wouldn’t have to use the wand.
-
Mal looked down at her phone again, tightening her grip on Ben’s back as he rode through the forest towards fairy cottage, where her mother was. Five minutes to midnight, and only so few hours till sunrise. She took a deep breath, looking back at Uma who nodded back at her, telling Mal it was okay, and they were going to win together. Mal gave a strained smile, resting her cheek on Ben’s back. Soon the path was too overwhelmed with foliage and roots and they had to abandon their bikes to go on foot, the nine unlikely heroes quickly followed Ben further into the dark forest, keeping low to the forest flow and moving quietly.
Harry’s hand never left yours as you got closer to the suddenly foreboding, yet quaint-looking, cottage. It had a sense of…evil, to it. Which made sense, Maleficent had made it her home base while plotting her evilness. Ben and Mal stopped behind a large tree, holding his hand up to tell everyone to be quiet. Everyone carefully moved from tree to tree, keeping out of sight from the cottage windows and doors, to keep the chance of surprise high.
As they got closer to the cottage, Uma took the ember from her necklace and handed it to Mal, who nodded gratefully and clenched it tightly in her hand, her eyes and hair glowing for a split second as the ember sparked. Harry took a deep breath, clutching tightly onto his hook and your hand, pulling you close and whispering into your ear “stay safe” he muttered and you nodded, kissing his cheek “same to you” you muttered back. You split off into your respective attack groups, Mal, Jay, Harry, and Uma at the front; ready to catch Maleficent by surprise and take her down with brute force.
Mal dashed forward with Jay, the two slamming open the cottage door, the ember gleaming brightly in Mal’s hand as Jay went into tackle position. They both straightened up, Uma and Harry joining them a second later, both ready to attack. “Nothing” Mal muttered, whipping around for any sign of her mother “There's-nothing.” Jay raced up the stairs, Uma following. They both came down a moment later, shaking their heads “No one upstairs” Jay muttered, Uma growling a bit as their plan went to shreds.
Mal let out a huff of frustration, dammit, dammit dammit dammit! Mal quickly pocketed the ember, turning to address Ben as he and the others walked in, only for a loud bang to echo from the storage closet next to the kitchen. Everyone jumped, Mal holding her arms up to keep everyone safe and back as Ben and Harry went forward to check on the noise, Harry at Ben’s back to protect him. Ben glanced inside the closet and his brows went up in shock? Surprise? He unlocked the door and opened it, only to see…Chad?
“Chad?” Ben said, completely shocked to see the son of Cinderella here. Harry sighed, relaxing from his fighting stance and pinching his nose, watching as Ben helped up the whimpering Chad, the terrified prince flinching back at Ben’s touch “hey, hey it’s okay. She’s not here, you’re safe” Chad slowly got to his feet, eyes looking about the room like a cornered animal, then he realized; it was just the vks and Ben…and some girl he had never seen before but he didn’t pay you any mind. He looked around the room once, twice, then back at Ben, eyes widening at his furry transformation “Ben?” Ben nodded, hoping he wouldn’t scare Chad, he didn’t look all that beasty anymore but he still had small horns, fur covering his body, fangs, and paws (which were covered by his gloves, but still) “Ben!” Chad laughed himself into Ben’s arms, pressing his cheek to Ben’s chest (originally Chad would’ve been at Ben’s eye level, but thanks to the curse, Ben was very tall now) “Ben! oh thank you, it was so scary! Mal-Maleficent! She’s-she’s possessing Audrey! I-I tried to get the scepter but-I froze up-I’m sorry”
Chad noticed the open door “The doors open” he looked around, seeing no sign of Maleficent. “she's gone” he grabbed Ben’s jacket and shook him around “I’m free-FREEDOM!” Chad bolted out of the cottage like his butt was on fire, you and Harry giggling at the absurdity of it all.
“Freedom~” Harry sang, closing the closet door and tossing his arm over your shoulder, following the others back out into the forest. Mal led the way out, pressing her lips together in frustration and fear, how in the hell were they going to defeat her mom if they couldn’t find her?! She felt Ben’s arm around her shoulder and she leaned into him, the ember weighing heavily in her thigh bag.
“let’s get this situation taken care of already, it’s way past Harry’s bedtime” Harry made a noise at Uma’s words, very much sounding like nothing and all the swear words at once. You giggled, knowing Harry was very much someone who liked to be in bed by 11 pm, for a chaotic ass pirate he was one for routine. Uma looked at Mal, she would know where Maleficent would go “where to next?”
Mal took a deep breath, trying to think about where her mother might’ve gone, before it hit her. Maleficent wouldn’t leave-leave, she was too close to her victory, she would stay close in case she needed to tie up loose ends. She was at Auroria castle, fuck she was THAT close. “Auroria castle,” Mal said, picking up her pace as she and the others made their way back to the bikes “she's out for revenge, and that’s where she was defeated the first time, of course-of course why didn’t I think of that before!”
As everyone raced down the path back towards the bikes, Ben made a comment that almost stopped Mal in her tracks “you know, at some point, you’re gonna have to tell me how you guys all got teamed up!” Mal pleaded to the gods that this would be saved for later, that no one would humor Ben and tell him. because then she would have to admit to her lies, because then her progress with Uma would be gone, Evie would be heartbroken. “well” Evie said with a laugh, smiling at Mal’s back as Mal nearly froze in place “Mal promised to let all the vks off the isle once this is over”
Ben frowned, looking back at Mal, very confused; did Mal change her mind? Hadn’t she decided to shut the program down and close the barrier forever? What had he missed? “Mal?” Ben asked, wondering what was going on, and Mal took a shuddering breath, her shoulders tense. “Mal?” Evie asked, very curious about Mal’s sudden change of demeanor. It felt….scared? as if Mal was afraid…of them?
You mentally winced, welp, here it was. The big reveal. You squeezed Harry's hand, looking up at his face. He just…looked resigned, as if he expected something like this, even if he didn’t know what he was expecting “I have to tell you all something” Mal said, voice strained, digging the ember from her pocket, staring down at it to avoid eye contact.
Harry nodded, turning into you and resting his chin on your shoulder “knew it, never trust a fairy” he muttered, so quietly only you and Carlos heard. Carlos glanced at Harry, then back to Mal, wondering what she had to tell them. Uma’s face of near happiness at the thought of all the vks getting off the isle dropped, just like Harry, knowing what Mal was about to say. She scoffed, turning away as Mal pursed her lips “I..uh…I-lied to you.” Mal admitted, forcing the words from her chest. Evie only looked confused, while you, Harry, and Uma; only looked resigned. Of course, of course, she did, you shook your head, resting your head in the crook of Harry’s neck, hoping to give him some sort of comfort as he realized he let his guard down around Mal, why did he ever do that, he knew what she was like-she had never changed.
God, how fucking stupid was he? To trust Mal like that. You could hear his fingers crack as he gripped the curve of his hook, his teeth grinding against his lip.  “Back on the bridge” Mal continued, still not looking at anyone, just at her own reflection in the glowing ember “when-when I agreed to let all the vks off…I said-I couldn’t do it, the deal…I um…I made the decision, earlier today that um…the-the barrier would be closed…permanently.”
Uma let out a shuddering breath she had been holding, pinching the bridge of her nose as Evie, Carlos, and Jay looked at Mal horrified. She had WHAT?! “wha-what do-“ Evie couldn’t even finish her sentence, staring teary-eyed at Mal, she just couldn't believe it, Mal, her best friend, who know how important it was to them, to her, to Ben; to get those kids off the isle, to give them a life they deserved. Mal had just-thrown it all away, over one incident, that could’ve easily been avoided the next time. An increase of security, driving faster through the barrier, hiring those inside the barrier to protect the limo/barrier. So many options; and Mal went with the one that hurt so many people.
“why?” Evie cried out, Jay’s hand landing on her shoulder to comfort her, the two looking away from who they thought was their best friend.
Mal didn’t look at her, tears starting to drip down her cheeks “I made the choice to shut down the vk program, and close the barrier…to protect Auradon.” Ben just stared at Mal, she sounded so...guilty. unlike when she made that decision; yes it sounded sad but-she acted as if it was the only choice, the only thing she could do to protect Auradon, now it sounded like she had found more options, and regretted making a choice so quickly.
“Ben?” Carlos asked quietly, holding Dude tightly to his chest, staring at the king shocked “you-did- and you just, let this happen?” Mal quickly interrupted him, she would not let Ben be blamed for her stupid choices “he had no say in it” Mal said, almost snapping but her voice still sad “I-I made him agree, he didn’t want to close the barrier…while he thought of you guys…I only thought of myself, of our life…I’m sorry” Mal sobbed, tears dripping onto her hands.
Uma locked her lips, walking up to Mal, her eyes hard and unyielding “So, I agreed to save your precious kingdom and your behind…for a lie?” Mal finally looked up, her eyes red and puffy, pure guilt and regret clear in her expression “I never should’ve trusted you” Uma muttered, shaking her head “you’re always out for yourself” Uma just stared Mal down, forcing Mal to stew in her guilt, her choices.
Mal nodded, sniffing as she whipped away a fresh set of tears “I know, I’m sorry i-i…it was a stupid choice, and I regret it, I-I was going to wait till after but…I” Mal couldn’t continue, the pit in her throat too much to talk past. Uma just shook her head, glancing to the side as Harry swallowed hard, holding you close. “you’re so fucking selfish, you always have been” Uma muttered, pushing down the tears that wanted to overflow “and here I thought you actually changed, that you actually got better…I guess fucking not.”
Uma looked back at Mal, and glared, her eyes sparking with magic “you’re just like your mother” Mal stopped breathing, but god-that insult-with Mal’s current head-space, it felt…deserved. Uma was right, she was just like her mother, only thinking about herself and her future, not anyone else, or their feelings. Just her. “I’m-“ Mal sobbed “im so sorry Uma” Uma looked away, glaring at nothing.
Mal stepped back as you stepped forward, your head tilted dangerously, your eyes gleaming like they were when you had hurt Hook. “small question” you muttered; voice quiet. Uma and Harry stepped back, knowing you were about to verbally tear Mal apart, and she deserved it. “if you were to close the barrier, forever…how would the ‘food’” you used the finger quotation marks at the word ‘food’ “get to the people of the isle? The barges, I mean. If no one gets in or out…how would any of the barges come through? or-were you planning on keeping that quiet and letting everyone die off silently, letting Celia’s dad die, letting Smee die, letting the kids who are looking up to you-the fucking KIDS, CHILDREN Mal! Die, from starvation, from illness, from abuse? Were you just going to sweep it under the rug, lie to all your friends forever about why no more kids were coming? Lie to your kingdom about why the isle went silent, because you made the choice to kill those there?” you got right into her face, practically overshadowing her with your mere yet intense presence.
God Mal was going to throw up, she hadn’t thought of any of that, at all. And now it was being thrown in her face, you were right, you were completely right, her closing the barrier didn’t just mean Auradon’s safety and no more kids coming to Auradon, but-it meant no one would survive there past the year, she was sentencing every soul there to their deaths. No food, no trash, no cloth, no clothes, nothing, nothing would come through the barrier.
You waited for Mal to speak, to say anything in her defense but she just shook her head, admitting to you; that she hadn’t thought of that, that she was just going to brush the problem under the rug and ignore the problem till it went away “you aren’t a leader, you will never be a good queen, and you don’t deserve your place here” you snarled out, Mal flinching back, expecting your hands on her neck but you just huffed, turning away and walking back to Harry, taking his arm and leaning into him, still glaring at Mal.
No one said anything, you and Uma had said everything there was to say. “let’s go find Gil, get the boys, n leave 'em all to rot” Uma muttered, nodding towards the path back towards the bikes. You and Harry nodded, leaving Mal and the others behind, Evie and the boys still glaring at Mal as Ben stood silently, not wanting to be thrown in the middle of the fight.
Mal called out for Uma as the three of you left, all climbing onto the bikes and starting them “I’ll find Gil, you two go get the twins” Uma muttered and Harry nodded as your arms wrapped around his torso, revving the engine and pushing off the forest floor, hearing Carlos scream at Mal as the three of you drove off towards Auroria castle, leaving Mal the betrayer behind.
The ride back down the forest path was tense and silent, Uma and Harry stewing in their regret and near hate for Mal, she had tricked them, again, she had lied, again, she hurt them, again. Gods why had they ever trusted her to even open her mouth, all she knew how to do was look out for herself and lie. It was all she had ever done.
You felt…guilty, for not telling them about Mal’s lies but-like last time, you didn’t want to tell them something and then have the world implode because you changed the timeline. You’d tell them that you had done so but-that would have to wait till after…whatever would happen next. As you crossed into the courtyard of the castle, you heard another bike behind you and you turned to look, seeing Mal doing her best to catch up. “Uma!” Mal cried out, zooming ahead and nearly crashing her bike as she drifted to a stop ahead of your bikes. “please-stop!” Uma hit the brakes and turned her bike to the side to stop, some of the dirt on the ground floating up towards Mal who ignored it, ripping off the helmet she was wearing and tossing it to the ground “Uma-I need your help” Uma rolled her eyes, going to drive around Mal but Mal’s hands just slammed onto the headlight of the bike, stopping Uma in her tracks “we have a chance if we do this together!”
“your friends kick you to the curb?” Uma asked, knowing if Mal was here alone, she was out of options, her friends had abandoned her (not knowing they had been turned to stone) Mal just stared at her, her jaw clicking as she remembered what Carlos had screamed at her and how Evie had turned away, heartbroken and betrayed. Not even Jay would look at her, she hadn’t even gotten a chance to apologize and explain her change of heart, they were turned to stone before she could get a word out. Uma saw her expression and assumed she was right “Good” Uma snapped, her lip curling over her teeth.
“Uma-Ben-Ben saw the good in you, and I-I was stupid to ignore it, I was stupid to lie to you and-and-“ Mal took a deep breath, forcing down the pit in her throat as Harry gave her the death stare, daring her to step out of line. You didn't look at Mal, pressing your cheek into Harry’s shoulder. At least this time Mal actually sounded desperate for Uma’s help, like she was actually distressed instead of just-kinda needing help.
“Please” Mal croaked out, tears slipping down her cheeks “Help me, help Auradon…help me save Audrey” Uma just stared at her “if-if my mom gets her way…there will be no Auradon for the kids to come to, Auradon will be destroyed,” Mal said, trying to convince Uma to help, it sounded a bit manipulative but Mal was doing it to not just save Auradon, but to save Audrey, the isle kids, her friends. Uma glanced at the ground, the gears turning in her head before Harry glanced at her, and decided to spare Uma the feeling of betrayal again “you talk pretty” Mal looked at Harry, taking a shuddering breath as he shook his head, glancing back at Uma “but she's already made up ‘er mind”
Uma looked up at him, and nodded, knowing what Harry was doing and she was thankful. She didn’t need to give Mal another opportunity to hurt her again. “you got yourself into this mess Mal” Uma muttered, revving the engine of her bike. Mal stumbled back and out of Uma’s way, knowing she had lost Uma’s help “you figure out how to fix it.” Uma nodded and Harry followed her out the courtyard, leaving Mal behind in her guilt.
As you traveled further into the forest that led back towards Auradon city you felt an odd, pull, at your navel. “Harry-“ you were about to tell him you felt odd but suddenly you were pulled back and you slammed into a stone wall, groaning as you hit the floor. “ow” you muttered, shaking your head as you sat up, feeling smaller hands on your arm. You looked up, seeing Celia, looking very scared “Celia? Wha-“ you turned, seeing a green glow from the corner of your eye. Audrey-no-Maleficent, smirked cruelly at you, the scepter in her grasp. “What did you do?” you asked quietly, eyeing Audrey’s black to magenta hair, her eyes fully green and her clothes slowly turning black. Maleficent was turning Audrey into another her; you could even see horns starting to protrude from the top of her head.
You looked around, you were back at Auroria castle, on one of the spires, hundreds of feet in the air. “The perfect bait” Maleficent muttered, turning towards the courtyard where her daughter still was and sending bolts of magic into the air, cackling as she did. Celia screamed, the bolts of magic hurting her ears as they cracked like thunder. “Celia?!” Mal yelled out from below, hearing the young vk’s scream of fear and panic. “Come on Malsy~! Save your little friends like the hero you are!” Maleficent cackled, slamming her scepter into the stone flooring as purple smoke swirled around Mal, building up until Mal’s dragon form flew out, circling in the castle in hopes to find an opportunity of attack and rescue.
Mal hovered in front of her mother, sending a blast of fire directly at her, only for it to bounce off a magic shield. “Going to have to do better than that my dear~!” Maleficent laughed out, voice cruel and taunting. You huffed, telling Celia to stay low as you slowly got up and braced yourself for impact. “if I can make Gaston cower at the sight of me, you won't be a challenge” you muttered to yourself, launching forward and slamming into Maleficent, throwing her off balance and nearly getting the scepter out of her grip.
“Foolish brat!” Maleficent screamed, sending her boney elbow into your sternum and you hit the floor, gasping for air and scrambling to get to your feet “Brave one you are” Maleficent snapped, creating another shield as Mal blasted her with fire again “too brave.” You dodged the first wave of magic Maleficent sent at you, doubling over as the 2nd hit you in the stomach. “fuck-“ you coughed, gasping as the 3rd wrapped around your throat and held you over the edge of the castle, Mal roaring in magic as you were now right in the way of battle.
“I’ll make sure to give your little boyfriend your love” Maleficent cooed, snapping her fingers. You suddenly dropped, screaming as you plummeted towards the stone ground of Auroria castle. You heard your name be screamed, and you turned your head towards the voice, seeing Harry running towards you, hook left behind and tears of pure terror streaming down his cheeks. You heard Maleficent cackle and something hit your chest, sparking across your skin and you screamed out in pain, it felt like you were struck by lightning. Moments after that, the world around you started going dark, your body started to lose feeling, and the noise around you dimmed.
“I’ll give you this one thing child” Maleficent's voice cooed in your ear “For you courage? You die a painless death, a sleep like death in fact~” as she cackled; everything went black, and you hit the ground. Hard.
Harry screamed, thunder roared across the sky, and the ember in Mal’s grip flared brighter than the stars above.
“(Y/N)!!!”
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-end of part 7-
 yep, that happened. hopefully i’ve made/will make the final battle better than the canon/og version~!!!!! im having too much fun hurting (y/n)/Harry lol, p8 most likely will not be within the next three days like usual, i got lucky that today i even uploaded/finished p7! so just-keep an eye out lol
permtaglist!!!
@queer-cosette​ @sephiralorange​ @lunanight2012​
@daughter-of-the-stars11​ @musicarose​ @rintheemolion​
@daughter-of-the-stars11​ @verboetoperee​ @saryguerrero 
@dai-tsukki-desu​ @imtryingthisout​ @remembered-license​
@thecaptainsgingersnap​
taglist!!!
@auradon-bore-a-don​ @dpaccione​ @reallysparklychaos​
@dreamtogether2000​ @thetrueghostqueen​ @godess-ofthe-underworld​
@omgsuperstarg​
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hannahhook7744 · 2 years
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The Stormbringer Crew Memes Part 1;
Descendants memes featuring some of my ocs. Like the title said. Enjoy. Slight Mal bashing.
🏴‍☠️🦴🏴‍☠️🦴🏴‍☠️🦴🏴‍☠️🦴🏴‍☠️🦴🏴‍☠️🦴🏴‍☠️🦴🏴‍☠️🦴🏴‍☠️🦴
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What probably happened post d3 with the 4 Hook siblings.
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Hannah in d1 regarding Maleficent's orders.
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Hannah in D1.
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Hades' kids in a nutshell. Mal trying to fight Skia and their siblings inferring because they know it'd end badly for her (Mal).
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You know how the core four knew Mal was using magic in-between d1 and d2? THIS is basically Hannah trying to get Mal to stop lying to Ben about her magic use before it ends badly.
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Hannah before they get to Auardon.
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Hannah all her life.
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Another diss to Maleficent's plan.
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A little sibling-ly squabble.
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When you're just trying to watch videos about your (adult) fandom space made by a woman for once and the vibe is already honestly kind of annoying ...
But then the first thing that she does is start plugging her patreon, which is again, kind of annoying, but not horrible ...
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...But then you see that this annoying little disney descendants kinne disney adult discourser "kim possible too sexy 🤓" ass bitch is a part of it............ And suddenly all of your interest in hearing what the other woman has to say about your 18+ fandom space, just immediately goes ...
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Like that.
And then you feel kinda bad about making a post ragging on her so you go to look up her age to once again remind yourself just how old this bitch is because she does not look or act goddamn fucking 25 at all so like you keep forgetting.... But when you're looking her up, you see she has controversy and the "controversy" is just .... Literally that?
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And you're like "Oh thank fucking GOD I'm not alone!"
So you know what I'm just gonna say something I've been wanting to say about her for a while ...
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Why the fuck are you even talking about ableism when you basically spend all your time online role playing as an ableist disney character kinnie bitch? Like, you're not an amputee just grow the fuck up!
It's like if petitprincess1 was an annoying breadtuber groupie fangirl instead an annoying centrist tumblr fangirl ... "
"she said 'brown is the color of crazy'!"
"what the fuck is a 'vanillia black'!?"
I see her everywhere recently even though she's blocked and on my "do not recommend" and I just need to be mean for a second!
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statementlou · 2 years
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Apparently they’re not police, according to an Argentinian, but they also didn’t say who they actually are.
I mean I want to believe so great, I'll take it, Louis you are off the hook! Maybe! I'm sure he's very relieved I'm not mad at him lol (yet, still plenty of time for him to piss me off re: football news, though tbh nothing really unexpected happened so probably in the clear there too). However, given that he had a police escort and everything like... I feel like it's probably some kind of cops? Are they some kind of sub-police cops like how Italy has carabeneri who are just as bad or worse but not technically the police? Argentinians help us out! Either way though, ACAB Louis! C'mon comrade!
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jisungsdaydreamer · 9 months
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Anti-Romantic | CHAPTER TWO | 18+
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«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME» · «TAGLIST»
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THE MATCHMAKER MEETS HIS MATCH
“Ruin me, please.”
«PREVIOUS CHAPTER» · «SERIES MASTERLIST»
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Pairing: Hyunjin x Fem!Reader Genre: Non idol au, fluff, smut, romcom, drama, opposites attract Chapter Warnings: explicit sexual content, mentions of emotionally abusive ex, mutual fantasizing, brief mentions of virginity loss, heavy drinking, Hyunjin is delulu, heavy dom/sub dynamics: dom!reader, sub!Han Jisung (yes, there's Jisung smut in a Hyunjin story SUE ME), degradation, creampie, oral sex (f receiving), rough sex, drunk sex (both are consenting parties), semi-public sex (?) Word Count: 15.1k
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“And now, here’s what we really want to ask you, Dr. Hwang: are you single?” 
The interviewer swivels her head to look at Hyunjin, her Botox-enhanced mouth spreading into a wide, magenta-lipsticked smile. Hyunjin barely registers her question, distracted by her disturbing resemblance to a vulture, with her beady eyes, hooked nose, and razor-sharp nails clutching a microphone like talons grasping prey. Her garish pea-green pantsuit and cat-eye glasses, combined with a frizzy blonde perm, remind him of that creepy reporter from Harry Potter, absolutely not helping his currently depleted Zen levels. 
He can already feel a sweat breaking out on his neck, permeating his satin button-down and threatening to ruin the outfit he had chosen this morning. Usually, picking out what to wear is one of Hyunjin’s favorite parts of the entire day; breathing in the Coco Noir scent of his walk-in closet is like Hyunjin’s own expensive version of aromatherapy. Today, however, it felt like a chore; It took him forever to find the perfect accessories to tie everything together, before he finally settled on his new gold Cartier earrings and the matching Juste un Clou bracelet. Hyunjin knows he looks amazing in his tastefully vintage yet sleek ensemble. He looks every bit the title of a sexy savant, one that he so rightfully carries. He looks ready to slay an interview on California’s most popular talk-show, The L.A. View. But for the first time ever, he doesn’t feel it. 
It could have been the coffee that he had hand-pressed for himself this morning, his usual brew of arabica beans imported from the misty slopes of Guatemala. But then again, the coffee brought a much-needed buzz that Hyunjin needed to drag himself out of bed, no matter how temporary. More likely, it was the margarita that he’d downed in the car that was sent to pick him up and bring him to the studio to tape the interview. Tequila always makes Hyunjin’s stomach turn. Or maybe—
“Dr. Hwang?”
Hyunjin snaps out of his reverie, plastering a charmingly mysterious smile onto his face. One, two, three… work that charm. “Wouldn’t you like to know, Sharon?”
The audience oohs beneath the dimmed stage lighting, and Sharon turns red, a shade visible even under the lurid bronzer that’s caked onto her face. Hyunjin would really love to book Sharon an appointment at HWASA Skincare and Cosmetics, his go-to beauty consultant whenever he’s visiting Seoul. The founder and CEO, his old friend Hye-Jin, would personally host her just so that Hyunjin could be relieved of the horrible bout of trypophobia he’s getting right now, staring into Sharon’s cavernous pores.
“Oh, stop it!” Sharon giggles, clapping her hands together. “There definitely must be a lucky lady in your life. You’re the Love Doctor. And not to mention, but very handsome.”
Sharon winks over exaggeratedly at the camera, and Hyunjin has to hold himself back from cringing away when she palms his shoulder, eyeing him hungrily. He can’t blame her, of course; the sleeves of his shirt squeeze his arms in such a way that his toned biceps are shown off— thank you very much, Better Body Pilates. But he needs his personal space. Out of everything, he hates when people treat him like some sort of an animal at the zoo, petting and prodding at him. He sees himself as more of the Mona Lisa, a masterpiece to be marveled at, not touched. His Zen is important, after all. 
Still, Hyunjin just shoots her a disarming smirk, crossing one Valentino-clad leg over the other. “The only lady in my life is Princess Diana. But I’d say I’m the lucky one.”
Both Sharon and the audience members aww, utterly captivated by Hyunjin when he pulls out a small Polaroid of his puppy from his breast pocket, holding it out so that the cameras can zoom in on it. As expected, his answer seems to have satisfied Sharon’s invasiveness, but beneath his beaming expression hides the building tension in his chest. 
What Hyunjin said is the partial truth; he may not currently have a significant other, but did he have someone in mind, when romance is in question? Yes. Is said person completely off-limits? Also yes. And would his reputation be completely tarnished if that very classified information got out? Yes, yes, and yes.
“Thank you so much for sitting down with us, Dr. Hwang,” Sharon says, thrusting out her hand for Hyunjin to shake it. Ever the professional, he accepts it like a champ. “And that’s all for now, folks! Stay tuned to watch my little chat with Meghan Markle about her ex-royal lifestyle. The teapot is boiling!”
The cameras cut and Hyunjin quickly excuses himself, waving to all of the people wistfully gazing after him. He enters the little hallway behind the filming room and breaks into a run very unlike himself, practically having to swerve around crew members and stage equipment. As soon as he’s locked away inside his dressing room, Hyunjin slides off his patent leather loafers and falls back onto the couch.
It’s been exactly three months since he first set eyes on you, kickstarting his unsavory fantasies and therein, digging himself into an early grave. And maybe it would have been okay, because as a male, sometimes he’s inclined to think with his dick. It’s a biological reaction that he can’t control. But it’s not, though, because the constant image of you printed like a tattoo on his mind has been interfering with his life and sense of normalcy. It’s a feeling that’s only grown in magnitude, especially now that with your weekly sessions, you’ve rapidly blossomed into the strong, confident woman that he always knew you were. So it’s not the fact that he’s horny— well, not the only fact— it’s that he might have feelings for you. Feelings that could get him into trouble, bigtime.
And the list that you wrote for him a while back definitely didn’t help. Hyunjin sits up, reaching for his notepad that he left on the little coffee table in front of the couch. He leafs through the pages, before pulling out the small slip of paper that he saved. Reading over the words for what feels like the umpteenth time, Hyunjin involuntarily smiles to himself. This time, it’s genuine.
The first thing that I don’t absolutely hate about myself is my imagination. I’ve been restricting myself a lot, lately, because I hated the thought of coming up with new ideas just to never bring them to life. It’s probably my post-Jisung and ITEM Tech trauma. But I felt kind of inspired by our first meeting today. I have a lot of great ideas, and I think that one day, I have the potential to beat Jisung’s ass and make a better company than his.
My fucking patience. You know, you might think otherwise, because it may seem like I have the patience of a single mom at a birthday party. But today proved differently. My friend/coworker Minho and his wife invited me over for dinner, which would have been fine, except they’re one of the most disgustingly perfect couples ever. They can’t go two minutes without giving each other a sappy ass look or holding hands or singing a song or something. And then Minho’s wife asked me if I wanted some ice cream, like she and her man weren’t just all over each other a millisecond ago. I just smiled and nodded. You can say I have the patience of the saint, now.
I like how I’m perseverant. For example: this. I could have given up after the first two days and ditched this piece of paper. But I didn’t. I want to be better. I’m very perseverent. Okay, my hand hurts. I’m putting down the pen for today.
My resilience. For the billionth time in my life, my boss made me want to drive out of work and jump into a lake. Long story short, Mark Lee is the worst motherfucker to ever exist (well, after his bestie Park Jisung. My boss and ex-boyfriend are friends. FML). But after one of his daily rants about how I’m not up to mark for some random reason, I walked out of his office and into the office kitchen. I got a Sprite from the fridge, crushed the full can with my bare hands, and then proceeded to calmly clean up the spilled soda before going back to work. I deserve a medal for my healthy anger management technique of smashing things and then bouncing back like a friggin’ spring.
The only home cooked meals I can really stomach are the ones that Minho shares with me at work. You know, he’s really such a menace. When I moved into my current apartment, he got me a cutting board as a gift, knowing damn well I don’t cook. But nowadays, I’ve been slowly getting more comfortable in the kitchen. I still don’t think I trust myself in cooking, but I’m kind of a really good baker, I’m realizing. Today, I made brownies. I’m eating one right now, and I guess I don’t hate that.
I am very patient, Part 2. My dumbass cousin, Yeonjun, called me up to hang out. Knowing him, that means me buying him a crap ton of expensive food. And he’s pretty loaded, too. I think he just loves pissing me off. First, he wanted pizza. That would have been fine, if we hit Domino’s or something, but he made me take him to this ridiculously upscale restaurant downtown. Their damn pizzas had caviar and truffles on them! Like, what the fuck happened to good old pepperoni? And as if that wasn’t enough, he then started complaining that he wanted fucking dessert too. So he ordered this fruit charcuterie board that cost another fortune. On the way home, I had to get him an $8 boba because “the cheese made him thirsty.” His metabolism is amazing. I’m kind of jealous. But anyway, I’m practically Mother Teresa at this point, because dealing with Yeonjun is no easy task. He’s lucky I love him.
Fundamentally, I think I’m a good person. And I think I deserve to be happy. There. Seven things, seven days. I’m done now. See you tomorrow.
Hyunjin sighs, sliding the paper back into his book and setting it inside his little Prada bag. This tiny scrap of paper had him seeing stars, when he first read it in the office, in front of you. There’s just something about you that he couldn’t and still can’t put his finger on. Maybe it’s how delightfully pugnacious you are, or that comically angry tone you approach the world with, no matter what. And he had to bite his tongue too, because there’s no way you came up with just seven things, not when Hyunjin felt like he could give a whole recitation on your very attractive qualities, just after meeting with you once. You’re unintentionally hilarious. Real. Tough. Inquisitive. Also, you’re simply the sexiest thing he’s ever seen.
You’re like an impossible puzzle to him; all the pieces are there, and yet, he can’t seem to put you together. Or rather, he can’t seem to figure out how to get his own shit together and finish the damn puzzle. Because he’s oh-so down bad, and he knows it. 
“Dr. Hwang? Are you in there?”
Hyunjin stands up immediately, locking away his daydreams about you and brushing off his trousers. He quickly smooths back his artfully slicked wolf cut and opens the door for Wonyoung to step inside with her trusty tablet. Momentarily, Hyunjin is sidetracked by her outfit, a stylish mini paired with a silky lilac bomber jacket— because where the fuck are those heels from— before he remembers himself.
“What’s up?” Hyunjin nonchalantly flicks a strand of hair out of his eyes, trying not to seem like he wasn’t just having a panic attack on that stupid couch just five seconds ago.
Wonyoung taps on the screen of the tablet for a few seconds, before looking up. “You have an appointment with your personal trainer in twenty minutes. You’re running late. And then at four, you need to get back to SeoulSpark for a meeting with a client. Here’s your change of clothes. I’ve already called a car for you.”
“Oh. Thanks.” Hyunjin accepts the gym bag, before jerking back in dreadful realization. “Wait. Which client do I have to meet with today?”
Wonyoung gives him a strange look. “Miss Y/L/N. Hey, are you alright, Dr. Hwang? You always stay on top of all of your engagements, but you haven’t been yourself lately.”
At the mere mention of your name, Hyunjin literally wishes he could melt into a puddle right then and there. Of course he hasn’t been himself, not when you waltzed into the office and wreaked havoc on his very humble life— for example, yesterday, he forgot to wear his Versace pajamas to sleep, and not his Fendi ones. Hyunjin knows that Saturdays are strictly for Versace; he promised Donatella years ago at the Met Gala. This is all your fault— how can it be poor Hyunjin’s, when he’s just a mere mortal cowering in your goddess-like presence? 
“I- I’m okay, Wonyoung. I, uh, just ate some bad sushi.”
“You ate bad sushi every day for the past three months?” Wonyoung suspiciously raises an eyebrow at Hyunjin. She isn’t buying it, unfortunately. 
“Uh-huh. It’s a terrible addiction that I’m trying to break. My raw seafood intake is off the charts. Guess I’m not perfect after all,” Hyunjin babbles, adding onto his already horrendous lie. 
Wonyoung still doesn’t look convinced, but Hyunjin flounces out of the room before she can say anything else and uncover his deep, dark secret: you. Besides, his ride is waiting outside and his quads really need working.
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“See you later, Changbin.” Hyunjin waves to his trainer as he grabs his belongings and exits the gym after a grueling workout. Usually, he prefers more low-impact routines, like aerial yoga or cycling around Marina del Rey. But because he’s been skimping out so much these days, Changbin made him do an endless round of jump squats before beating his ass in boxing. 
Hyunjin presses his fingers to his aching back muscles, sore with both exhaustion and worry. The slim hands of his Rolex alert him to the fact that there is only one more hour before he must face you, and he is nowhere near ready. He’ll just have to skip the sauna today. Quickly, he gets into the car standing for him by the curb, slipping on his Gucci shades and sliding down below the window in the backseat, like a celebrity escaping a paparazzi cloud.
As soon as he gets back to Oasis, the opulent complex that houses his beloved penthouse, Hyunjin practically flies into his bathroom and locks the door. Without even bothering to set his eucalyptus shower steamer, Hyunjin cleans himself up as much as he can, scrubbing off the sweat and grit of the gym from his skin. 
Once he’s finished, he gets dressed and sits down in front of his bedroom mirror that’s designed to look like a Hollywood-style vanity. Taking a deep breath, he inspects his face for any signs of something off. Nope. He looks as dewy and fresh as a pink rose petal, minus the slight red rings under his eyes, which are the courtesy of many, many sleepless nights over you.
Hyunjin, however, is incredibly proud of himself for getting to the office with fifteen minutes to spare, therein being able to fit in a little solo pep talk in the car. His third outfit of the day is a show-stopping black Celine suit, practically designed to make heads turn. It definitely isn’t to impress you with his impeccable style— no, he did it for himself, obviously. That’s the only reason. And it’s a little extravagant, even for Hyunjin, but then again, he’s never been known for his subtlety. 
His post-workout clarity gives him hope that everything will go back to normal, before you. All he needs to do is focus on himself. Everything else will pass, eventually. At least, that’s what Hyunjin keeps telling himself to believe, right before he crashes headfirst into you in the hallway outside of his office.
“Hey, Hyunjin!” Grinning, you hold out a small gift box tied with a sunny bow, which is coincidentally the exact same yellow as the dress you wore when Hyunjin first met you. Today, you’re sporting salmon-colored shorts and a cream blouse with an adorable sailor collar, and Hyunjin immediately has to tamp down the urge to whisk you away to go on a private boating vacation on a yacht in St. Barts. God, you really have amazing style.
Hyunjin swallows roughly and takes the box, trying to look more excited about it than how utterly taken with you he is. “Afternoon, darling. What’s this?”
You reach your hand over to where the box rests in Hyunjin’s hands, toying with the bow. Hyunjin automatically feels himself internally hyperventilate at your proximity that’s too close for comfort. 
“Mango cheesecake. I’ve been trying to perfect the recipe for a while now, and I think it finally turned out really well.” You break into a bright smile that makes Hyunjin’s brain short circuit. “I want to thank you for all of your help, besides me being less-than-cooperative sometimes. Coming here has really changed my perspective on things, and for the better.”
Hyunjin clutches the box to his chest. He had always suspected that you are the sweetest, under your stormy exterior, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to get a taste and confirm the truth for himself. Nevertheless, he’s both touched and now even more delusional, because you spent time on him, making something to give him. “Darling, you shouldn’t have.”
You pout in response, and Hyunjin grasps the box even tighter, nearly crushing the contents in an effort to get a grip on himself. “I wanted to do something nice for you.”
Hyunjin grins, feeling himself relax a little. That’s one more thing about you— you have this contradicting ability to induce both calmness and anxiety into him, another kind of black magic that you definitely harbor in your bewitching eyes. “Well, thank you. I can’t wait to try it.”
You look away shyly and gesture towards Hyunjin’s office. “Should we head in?”
Smiling to himself, Hyunjin steps ahead to open the door for you as you duck your head and scramble in, folding yourself onto the sofa that you both are now well-acquainted enough to often share. After setting his velvet tote bag onto his desk, Hyunjin sits down beside you, holding out a glass of mango juice to you, a drink that you now frequent whenever you meet. Plus the cheesecake? You really must love mangoes.
As you sip on your juice, Hyunjin decides to take the reasonable course of action available: ask you about your day, not if you’re available next Friday night at six. “How have you been? I’m sorry I couldn’t see you last week.”
You shrug, waving off Hyunjin’s apology like it’s nothing. It isn’t, though; he would rather have spent time with you than having to fly to Shanghai for some brand endorsement deal that his agent made him take. “Don’t worry about it. And I’ve been good. Evidently, in a much more agreeable mood these days. It’s certainly a step-up from the grumpier me, isn’t it?”
“I like you however you are,” Hyunjin blurts out without thinking, before freezing in realization. In a better world, he would have had the sense to at least clamp his hand over his mouth before he could say something stupid, but unfortunately, he’s stuck here. He wills the stammering, bumbling idiot that he turns into when you’re around to disappear, to be replaced by his usual, suave self. It doesn’t quite work, because he feels a furious blush building on his neck.
You’ve also turned a light shade of pink, and Hyunjin prays to God that you can’t see through his bullshit. “Because I’m your client. You accept me however I am.”
Hyunjin has to mentally stab himself with a fork as a reminder that he cannot, under any circumstances, disagree, although he really, really wants to. You could never be just a client to him. You’re too precious to him for that title. Yet, he keeps a straight face as he nods, disgusted with what he’s about to say. “Exactly. You’re my client.”
You down the rest of your drink, setting the glass down on the coffee table. “Anyway, you emailed me that you had something special planned for today. What is it?”
“Right.” Hyunjin clears his throat, getting up from the sofa to make his way over to his desk. He opens one of the drawers and pulls out the thick binder he’s been dreading using with you for a while now. It weighs his hands down like an unpleasant secret as he sits back down next to you. 
“What’s this?” You inquire, leaning in closer to Hyunjin. The movement allows the sugary scent of your vanilla perfume become even more prominent to Hyunjin, which is definitely not helpful right now. Hyunjin stares down at the binder, adopting a robotic tone that won’t betray his thoughts.
“We’ve worked on just you for the past few months, and now it’s time. You’re finally ready to explore dating.” Hyunjin opens the binder, trying to ignore the sour taste of the words on his tongue. “And as I’ve told you before, SeoulSpark has an incredible matchmaking service that caters to everything you desire in a potential partner.”
“Cool! How does it work?” 
Out of the corner of his eye, he notices your shorts ride up slightly, further exposing the soft skin of your upper thigh. Think of the fork, Hyunjin. Think of the damn fork.
“Well, I’ve already compiled a number of candidates in our database whose profiles complement yours. We’re going to be setting up a time when you can speed date them.” 
You quirk your eyebrow in a way that shouldn’t be as attractive as it is to Hyunjin. “Speed dating? That’s…”
“I know, I know. It might seem weird at first, but that’s why we’re doing it the SeoulSpark way, to reduce awkwardness and make it really worth your time. We’ll go over the candidates briefly, and weed out the ones you really don’t want to see.” Hyunjin opens the binder, going to the profiles. “But I won’t tell you their names, so we can maintain at least a small element of surprise.”
Your eyes widen as you take in the first candidate’s picture, and Hyunjin has to fight the burning jealousy in his chest. “Wow. He’s handsome.”
“Swipe left or right?”
“Right.”
“Okay.” Hyunjin turns to the next page. “What about him?”
“Uh, left. He reminds me of my uncle. No thank you.”
Hyunjin stifles his smile as he continues flipping through the profiles, noting down your answers. He tries to enjoy your unfiltered reactions and not think about the fact that one of these lucky bastards could be your future husband. Finally, he gets to the last candidate.
You frown. “He looks kind of like a chipmunk. A quokka, maybe.”
“So is that a left?”
“I’ll say right. He seems like he’d be interesting.” You shrug, your eyes glittering with mischief. “Actually, I’m kind of excited now. Some of these guys are lookers.”
Hyunjin laughs in spite of himself, shutting the binder and standing up. “I’ll email you the details of the event by next week, when we’ll be holding it. ”
You nod, tucking a strand of loose hair behind your ear— oh, how Hyunjin wishes he could just casually do that for you. “Got it. I’ll make sure to look dazzling.”
“Darling, you always look dazzling.” Hyunjin smirks in self-satisfaction when you flush at his quip. It’s not exactly a reaction that’s foreign to him, but seeing you like this, all cute and bashful, is new. And it’s a look that’s very attractive on you. Hopefully, you attribute the flirting to Hyunjin’s naturally charming personality, not the fact that he’s impossibly gone for you. Not that the truth would make a difference, however. You’ll never be his.
“Thanks, Hyunjin.” You get up from your seat, letting Hyunjin walk you out, like he always does. “I feel like you have a vision going on for this matchmaking event.”
“Oh, I always have a vision.” Hyunjin chuckles, opening the door for you. “We’re considering a tropical theme, or a garden party, maybe. Or something glamorous. Kind of like prom, but without the bad music and horny teenagers, you know?”
You shrug. “Actually, I never went to my high school senior prom. But all of these ideas sound incredible.”
He pauses, his eyes widening. “You never went to prom?”
“There was this guy.” You look uncomfortable, but before Hyunjin can assure you that you don’t have to tell him about it, you decide to continue. “I wanted to go with him, but long story short, he rejected me. And I didn’t really have any friends I could go with either. I could have gone on my own, but I wasn’t brave enough. It’s one of the things that I did when I was younger that I regret now. I guess it just speaks volumes about how I hold myself back a lot.”
Hyunjin frowns. “Who in their right mind would reject you?”
“My first love, apparently. And a bunch of others.” You sigh, fiddling with the little bow on your sleeve. “But whatever. I’m going to find a real man.”
“They’re idiots. And prom isn’t even all that.”
You snort. “Says you. I’ll bet you were the kind of guy who got invited by all of the girls to be their date to prom, even if you weren’t even a senior yet.”
“Exactly. I would know precisely that prom is overrated as fuck.” Hyunjin gives you a smile. “Maybe we’ll just go with the garden party.”
You stay quiet for a moment, as if thinking something over, before looking directly into Hyunjin’s eyes. “Shame. I think I would’ve liked to see you in a tux.”
And with that, you turn around and leave, as Hyunjin just stays rooted on the spot, dumbfounded. Because how can you just so easily shoot an arrow straight into his heart and walk away? You’re a threat to society. You’re a wicked enchantress. You’re the bane of Hyunjin’s existence, and yet, he wants you to come back and string him along like a fucking bow. The dilemma is clear: Hyunjin absolutely cannot just move on from you. This is an extremely deafening cry for help.
“Wonyoung?” Hyunjin croaks, as he steps back inside and collapses onto his chair.
Hyunjin’s loyal secretary sticks her head into the room, her glossy locks tumbling over her shoulders like a Pantene commercial. Hyunjin makes a mental note to ask her later about her hair care routine. “Yes, boss?”
“Call Dr. Kim for me, please. I don’t feel so good.”
“Of course. I guess the bad sushi really got you this time.”
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“Strep throat? Negative. Flu swab test? Negative. Every single other test you made me administer for you? Ditto.” 
Hyunjin aggressively rubs his palms over his face. “Is there anything else, Seungmin? Are you sure there is absolutely nothing wrong with me? Should we do anything again?”
Seungmin rolls his eyes, setting his clipboard down on the bench space next to him. “It’s Dr. Kim. And I did a Barium Swallow test for you, Hyunjin. You don’t just do those for any idiot who walks in begging to be examined for no apparent ailment. Took thirty minutes and nothing at all. Chief resident would be on my ass if she knew.”
“You’d think we haven’t been best friends since our Stanford days,” Hyunjin says. “There is something wrong with me.”
Hyunjin stares down at the upper right leg of his pants, picking at a small loose thread. He’s never seen one appear in his clothing ever since he was eighteen and quiet being so fashionably challenged, but instead of disgust, he feels a strange sense of solidarity. Just like the thread, he feels out of place; confused and lost, even though he’s standing right in the middle of half of the world’s dream. But wanting someone who he can never have isn’t a dream, surely, and neither is the phantom pain in his abdomen, the one that Dr. Kim claims doesn't exist.
“‘Our Stanford days’ were literally only three years ago. And I was in med school while you were getting a PhD in the study of crazies. I knew there were a couple screws loose up there,” Seungmin scoffs, tapping his temple in flourish punctuated with impudence. “I should have known better than to befriend your ass.”
“Seung-min, you’re lying,” Hyunjin retorts, emphasizing the syllables of his friend’s name. “I swear, I’m sick.”
Seungmin groans, fed up with Hyunjin’s stubborn mindset. “You’re twenty-eight years old and have your own booming practice. Hell, you wear head-to-toe designer, even underwear— yes, I saw the Gucci briefs in your bag, that one time you made me go shopping with you. Meanwhile, I’m a stressed, overworked, and underpaid surgery resident who has to listen to his rich and famous best friend complain that he’s not feeling well. Oh, poor baby. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“I’m trying! I’m trying, okay?” Hyunjin finally explodes, throwing his hands up in the air. Usually, he maintains that peaceful temperament that puts up with Seungmin’s attitude. Not today, however. “Honestly, Seungmin, you want to know what’s wrong with me? Her. She’s all over me, inside and out! Everywhere I look, I’m reminded of her. Everywhere I go— her. And you know what? It’s not all in my head. It’s not a fucking crazy case. I physically feel myself wanting to throw up every five fucking minutes. I have a horrible headache that won’t go away, no matter how long I rot in my bed. I’m sore all over and I just want to go home!”
Hyunjin’s best friend just glares at him in shock for a good few seconds, watching as he pants from the ferocity of his words. And then he recovers, smoothing his face over into that signature judgemental expression, because he’s Kim Seungmin. “I should’ve known this was about a girl.”
Hyunjin sighs. Thankfully, no one overheard his rant, because this is Seungmin’s lunch break and whenever Hyunjin insists on an emergency meeting, Seungmin brings him over to this empty corridor tucked behind the equipment storage rooms, where no prying eyes wander. 
“It’s not just any girl, Seungmin. It’s the girl. She’s… all I do know is that she’s my client who walked into my life three months ago and proceeded to destroy it. She came in like a tropical storm and now she smiles at me like the fucking sun. She confuses me and makes me forget random shit and she doesn’t even know about any of it. And all I want to be is hers, even though I can’t be.”
Seungmin doesn’t say anything, before he bursts into uncontrollable laughter, the kind that makes his body shake with impact. “You… are… acting… so stupid.”
And this only makes Hyunjin even more frustrated. “Well, that’s the whole damn point! I’m not stupid, but I’m obviously acting it! I don’t know what to do, Seungmin! Help a brother out!”
After he calms himself down, Seungmin sighs loudly and wipes the traces of any tears caused by amusement of Hyunjin’s plight. “I’m not an expert in this, Hyunjin. But to be honest, it seems to me that you’re falling for her, and you’re just in denial.”
Hyunjin feels nothing short of horrified. “But… I can’t be. Are you sure?”
“Aren’t you the friggin’ Love Doctor or some shit? How the fuck am I supposed to be sure?”
But Hyunjin barely hears Seungmin, getting off the bench to pace back and forth in the little hallway. He can’t be falling for you, because— he just can’t! The plethora of problems that would arise from him falling in love with you are fucking endless, the worst being that you could end up negatively impacted. And all because your stupid, idiotic dating coach couldn’t keep his stupid, idiotic feelings in check. He would rather give up his beloved Versace brand deal than ever see you hurt, and that’s really saying something.
Seungmin tries to get to Hyunjin again. “Or maybe you’re not falling for her. Maybe you’re just horny.”
Hyunjin whirls around, side-eyeing Seungmin with disgust. “The hell you mean?”
“When’s the last time you, you know? Got some?”
“You put it so eloquently.” Hyunjin rolls his eyes. “And it’s been ten months.”
“See? That’s definitely it. You need to get laid, and you’re taking your sexual frustration out like this. You’re always the one lecturing everyone else on having healthy sex and love lives and shit, but really you’re a hypocrite. Tell me, why are you such a hypocrite, Hyunjin?”
Hyunjin crosses his arms, irritated yet able to see Seungmin’s point. He had his share of relationships, enough to augment his experience and research in the whole field. It’s not like they all ended badly, though— quite the opposite, really. The majority of them were amicable splits, or awkward conversations, at the very most. The only notably sour memory is Hyunjin’s ex-girlfriend from ninth grade, the one who broke up with him in a fit of jealousy when another girl confessed her love for Hyunjin. But then again, all high school relationships are basically doomed to crash and burn.
Hyunjin was careful to never get into anything too serious anyway, because his only love would be his job; he broke up with his last girlfriend— which might be a strong word for someone who merely considered him a wine-and-dine booty call— because he just didn’t feel that same spark with her that he felt when running his business. And he didn’t think he had that capacity to feel it anywhere else, but that was all before you.
“I don’t know, Seungmin.” Hyunjin looks down glumly at the concrete flooring, his body completely exhausted of all of the fight in him
The look in Seungmin’s eyes softens as Hyunjin slumps back into his seat. “Don’t you think that you’ve been so busy thinking about helping other people with their loves that you’ve completely neglected yours? When are you going to stop being so goddamn perfect and care for yourself?”
“But I do care for myself! Why else would I have a fourteen-step skincare routine and Gucci boxers?” Hyunjin protests, stalling more than really arguing. He just doesn’t want to admit to what’s really bothering him.
Seungmin rolls his eyes for what feels like the hundredth time in the past ten minutes. He should get back to rounds; lunch will be over soon. “That’s not self-care, that’s called being fucking weird. And I’m talking about your head. You have this illusion up there that in order to help others, you need to be flawless. Get out of it, man. Whether you want someone to have a one-night stand with or have your freaking children, you need to be open and pursue it. Life is messy and unpredictable, even for neurotic perfectionists like you. It’s okay to be horny. It’s okay to be in love. It’s okay to be you.”
Hyunjin ponders over Seungmin’s advice, before looking up. “I hate when you’re right.”
“I know.”
“Fine.”
“Don’t you ‘fine’ me, dumbass. Go put on your Armani shit and get going, for fuck’s sake. This isn’t Mission Impossible. I can’t believe I have to tell you this.” Seungmin shakes his head, dusting off his scrubs. He leans forward to tighten the laces on his special work sneakers; the clock is really ticking down now.
Hyunjin gives Seungmin a withering look. “I wear Versace on my missions.”
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“Welcome to SeoulSpark’s third biannual company-wide Matchmaking Event!”
The small crowd of hopeful singles crammed into the gazebo politely claps as the speaker looks down at all of you from his perch on the little elevated platform, like some kind of an all-knowing benefactor. 
“Thank you everyone. You can call me Jin, and I’ll be your emcee and operations director on this fine afternoon.” He beams. “And can I just say, you people look so good today? Obviously not as much as me, but still.’”
A scattered collection of horribly faked laughter ripples throughout the gathering, and you have to resist rolling your eyes. If it wasn’t for the fact that Jin does actually serve as great eye candy, you would’ve already been putting on your sunglasses and trying to fake being awake. 
“Dr. Hwang will be here in a few moments to intro, and then we’ll get on with it!” Jin states, continuing his unnecessary theatrics. “But while we wait, can someone answer this question: what do you call an ice cream that parties too hard?”
Before the inevitable awkward silence can ensue, some bored-looking man who stands a little further away from everyone else pipes up. You recognize him as the very first candidate whose picture Hyunjin had presented to you— the hot one— except now, his short, preppy haircut has grown out into a wavy mullet. “Just say it.”
Jin looks temporarily taken aback by the man’s unfiltered attitude, before correcting his expression back into a winning smile. “It is out of CONE-trol! Get it? Because of the ice cream cone? Isn’t that funny?”
There isn’t a single person in the crowd who looks impressed, least of all mullet-guy. “No. And it still wouldn’t be funny even if I was seven years old and actually liked horrible dad jokes.”
There’s a bite to his tone, and Jin seems to have taken it personally. Jin clears his throat, stuck while clearly trying to think of something to say, when relief comes over his face as he looks directly at you. “There he is! Dr. Hwang: the man of the hour.”
You turn around so fast that you nearly get whiplash, and of course Hyunjin is right there, towering over you like some sort of gorgeous sunflower. Fuck— you knew you smelled that stormy jasmine in the air, but you passed it off as just your imagination. And because there are so many people packed into this tiny pavilion, your bodies are practically pressed together as everyone else cranes their necks to get a load of the Love Doctor. 
“It’s so good to see you, darling. You look stunning,” Hyunjin says to you, in a way that seems so genuine that your baby blue gingham sundress from Target doesn’t feel so childish anymore, like you thought after seeing all of the other ladies’ stylish getups.
“Thanks.” You blush, averting your eyes. The last time you met up with him, your bolder alter-ego possessed you for a second and threw a flirty one-liner at Hyunjin, when you realized yourself and walked the hell away, before you could gauge his reaction. “You look very stunning yourself as well.”
And he truly is, as always, dressed in another quirky yet stylish look: a high-neck jacket and camel cargos, complete with a chain link shoulder leather bag. The thick gold crosses dangling from his ears don’t look gaudy, instead bringing out a youthful glow in Hyunjin’s skin. God, you really love a man who can dress.
“Everything alright, Dr. Hwang?” Jin calls out, breaking you out of your trance.
“Yes, Jin. I’ll be up in a second.” Hyunjin doesn’t take his eyes off of you, just serenely blinking like he has all the time in the world. “I absolutely adored your mango cheesecake, darling. You have to tell me about the recipe later.”
He shoots you one last disarming smile, before heading up to the platform, and you’re left to longingly stare after him like a dessert enthusiast on a sugar-free diet. You watch him take the mic from Jin, who dramatically holds out his hands towards Hyunjin when backing off of the platform. 
“Hello!” Hyunjin chirps, and really, the wind is a paid actor here, breezing in and perfectly tousling his midnight mane. 
This time, the audience’s response is more authentic, everyone responds in their own greetings out loud. You can’t help but feel your heart swell at the sight; your crush really is so charismatic.
“So, we’ve already explained how today’s going to work in the emails that were sent out to all of you a couple days ago. But to debrief: we will be having fifteen six-minute speed dating rounds today, each held at one of the designated tables,” Hyunjin explains, gesturing to the space surrounding the gazebo.
For the matchmaking event, SeoulSpark booked out Cafe Fiorella, a posh little eatery nestled in the heart of Vista Hermosa Natural Park’s dusty garden trails and meadows. Hyunjin and his planners did an outstanding job of organizing everything, and even you can’t help but note how impossibly romantic it is— for a speed-dating gig, at least. There are dainty bistro tables set up in the grassy outdoor dining area and nestled on top of them, multiple tiered platters loaded with hors d'oeuvres and decorative blossoms. You don’t even want to think about how much this would have cost.
“Before each round, you will all get a text providing you with the number of your table, where you will be able to chat with your partner, one of the candidates that corresponded with your profile.” Hyunjin catches your eye, and you feel yourself heat up. Focus. “After every round, take note of who you want to see again, and at the end, we’ll give you a form to fill out and submit. When you have your next appointment with us, we’ll let you know who you’ve matched with. Any questions?”
No one raises any, probably because they’re too self-conscious to ask in front of their potential partners, which leaves Hyunjin to just nod. “My team and I will be present as chaperones, just making sure everything is going smoothly. And I’d also like to thank our Dr. Jeon’s brother, Mr. Kim Seokjin, for volunteering to time and emcee the event!”
“Oh, Hyun. Always so formal. Call me Mr. Worldwide Handsome instead!” Jin calls out from the back. He does an exaggerated little bow and you— along with many other attendees— have to stifle a laugh. What a cheeseball. 
Hyunjin just smiles graciously, eyes crinkling with mischief. “Let’s get the party going!”
The up-tempo, raunchy sound of girl rap blasts out of speakers that you didn’t even know existed, scaring the shit out of you momentarily. You have no doubt at all that the afternoon’s garden party beats were compiled by your eccentric Love Doctor, before you start to subconsciously sway— and mentally twerk— to “Body.”
“Ladies and gents, this is just in with Jin! Make sure to find your seats in the next five minutes, and we’ll start the clock!”
Your phone chimes with your first table assignment of the day, and you make your way over there, dodging the throngs of men and women antsy to discover their matches. You sit down at your table, trying to ignore the nervousness building in your chest. With the presence of Hyunjin, his beautiful self lingering somewhere barely a few feet away from you, you’re not sure you can give today your best. And for the first time— it’s not you. It’s the fact that you have feelings for your unsuspecting charmer, and deep inside, you can’t fight the thought of not being able to get over him. 
But a lively ambiance courtesy of Megan Thee Stallion doesn’t fit the deep, contemplative mood, so you resort to pushing away your qualms and blankly gazing out at the high rise views while waiting for your partner. If this doesn’t work out, at least you can say you had a nice time humming to lovably NSFW music and raiding the appetizers. 
“Beefing with you bitches really getting kinda boring—”
“You know, I kind of vibe with this shit.” Mullet-guy from earlier plops down into the chair across from you. “Don’t tell Mr. Worldwide Handsome that, though. I’ll never give him the satisfaction.”
You giggle at the comically blank expression on mullet-guy’s face. “Don’t worry. I don’t think Jin would’ve added the EDM remix of “Savage” to the playlist.”
Mullet-guy doesn’t smile, but you catch the flicker of amusement in his eyes. “Fair enough. I’m Yoongi.”
“Y/N.” You carefully take a mini slice of flaky herbed pastry off of the stand and place it on the china plate in front of you. Now that everyone has settled down, the music has been turned down to enable better conversation. “Maybe I’m being blunt here, but you don’t exactly strike me as the type of guy to go to a speed-dating event.”
“Well, what kind of guy do I strike you as?” Yoongi asks, settling back comfortably into his chair. If it was anyone else talking, you would have thought they were flirting with you. But not with Yoongi— you can’t quite put your finger on it, but he feels incredibly familiar to you. This could be just another regular talk with a good friend.
You make a show of taking in his beat-up leather jacket and the silver stud in his left ear, all add-ons to his roguishly handsome aesthetic. “Wannabe SoundCloud rapper meets Fuji Kaze, except with an even worse fashion sense.”
Most people would have already shrank away from your sarcastic sense of humor, but Yoongi claps back. “I could say the same for you. Don’t tell me you’re actually going for The Stepford Wives with that dress. You even have the Mary-Jane shoes.”
“These are discounted flats from Old Navy, don’t even. And I’ll bet your emo ass was stuck in Hot Topic since grade school.”
Yoongi bursts out laughing. “Okay, you win. But you’re not wrong though— I am a rapper, of sorts.”
You lean forward. “Really?”
“Of sorts— I haven't had much time to really get into it and improve myself, ever since I started my own record label last year, D-2 Music,” Yoongi says, picking at his peach scone. “Managing other artists is my focus these days. Been writing my whole life, though.”
“What do you like to write about?” You take a bite of your pastry, savoring how it nearly melts in your mouth. Maybe this thing isn’t that bad; good food and good conversation. Besides, this Yoongi is totally intriguing to you.
“Dreams, depression, obsession.” Yoongi steadily holds your gaze, and you don’t look away.
“Refreshing.”
“I get that a lot.” Yoongi takes a sip of his mimosa, before making a face and putting it back down. 
“No, but seriously. I hate pretending, most of all. Perfection doesn’t exist, and a lot of people can’t get a grip on that.” You shrug, wiping your mouth with one of the provided lavender napkins. “It is refreshing that you don’t seem to give a crap about others.”
“Yeah.” Yoongi smiles, and you think it’s a good look on him. It doesn’t fade even after what he says next. “We’re not going to be a match, are we?”
In that moment, you can confidently say that you are both the same exact person, and while it feels so good to finally speak with someone who might remotely understand exactly what you are, you know it can never be a sustainable relationship. The two strong-minded pessimists that you both are would only clash or just further bring each other down, in the end. So you return his smile, not a hint of sorrow in it. 
“Probably not.” Both of you clink your champagne classes together and drink on it, before collectively gagging at the taste.
“Time’s up, people! Please bid your partners adieu and get on to your next table!” Jin’s voice breaks out through his microphone, and immediately, the music resumes as the frenzy starts all over again.
You stand up, smoothing out your skirt and looking over at Yoongi, who stays seated, taking his own time finishing his scone. “Catch you later, Hot Topic.”
“Likewise, Mary-Jane.” Yoongi snickers, tilting his head up in a casual goodbye. 
You make your way to your new assignment, and as you approach, you remember him. The next person sitting there is the final candidate that Hyunjin had shown you, the one with the rather squirrely look to him. You have to admit, however, that he isn’t bad-looking, with wavy brown bangs falling into his eyes and a soft smile painting his features. He looks simple, a pretty boy waiting for a girl. You feel like you’re reading a picture book with a happy ending, because there are no puzzles to stay sleepless over. You see the bistro table becoming a kitchen counter, frequented for coffee talk and family dinners— there is no smoke-cracked glass desk that costs more than your entire salary. And you’re not Pygmalion sculpting Galatea, the gender bended Grecian rendition of the Hyunjin who plagues your thoughts; instead, you can see the elementary construction paper dotted with finger-painted sunny skies.
“Hi,” you greet, dragging out your chair and locking eyes with the stranger. Strangely, you don’t feel that telltale thump of your heartbeat in your panting chest— you sense a steady rhythm, and perhaps you could get used to it. Think: the picture book over the puzzle. You like staying in check and control— Hyunjin doesn’t allow you that power, no matter how unknowingly he keeps it for himself. 
“Hi,” he responds. “I, uh, thought you had a nice smile in your picture. It’s even better in real life.”
You stay unfazed; compliments don’t affect you much— when they come from anyone but Hyunjin. Still, it’s a cute try, and you decide to dig in deeper. To you, directness is key— again, when dealing with anyone but Hyunjin. 
You slide your finger down the damp side of your champagne flute, tracing a haphazard shape in the water drops. The man falls quiet again, and you don’t bother saying anything else, just taking him in. You don’t have much experience with conversation loaded with romantic intent, and this holds true even with your infamous ex-boyfriend.
Park Jisung had spied you at a holiday festival on your college campus, and then proceeded to ask you out. It was pretty unceremonious, to say the least, and thinking in hindsight, you can’t remember a time when he actually tried to get to know you. You were so enamored with him that you didn’t bat an eye, not even when he insisted on having sex with you on your very first date. And it was also your very first time, actually— but you didn’t question it. And the sex? It was over in less than five minutes and he left right after he finished, but it just felt nice to be wanted, for once. 
In the following months, you realized that when he wasn’t sleeping with you, Jisung was in his own world. You barely existed to him, while you memorized his Chipotle order and silently bought new soap for him when it ran out. It wasn’t hard to figure out that he just wanted a warm body in his bed to replace the other ones he’d fucked with all day. 
“You should know that I have asthma, just in case you intend on taking my breath away on a regular basis,” the man blurts out, snapping you out of your depressing Jisung-reverie.
You bite back a snort— looks like Mr. Worldwide Handsome has new competition for the corniest person at this place. “Thank you.” 
He coughs, no doubt embarrassed by his poorly executed pick-up line. “Sorry. I can’t help it. Pretty people make me nervous.”
“You’re pretty too.” You shrug nonchalantly as the man blushes. “What’s your name?”
“Han Jisung.”
You nearly throw the champagne in his face. “Come again?”
“Jisung. My name is Jisung.”
You clench your fists under the table, trying not to break something. Of all the people in this world— of all the fucking names in this world— you just had to get set-up with a guy who shares the same name as a monster who did nothing but hurt you. What the fuck, universe? You glance at your phone screen peeking out of your purse— there are still four minutes left in this stupid round. 
“Hey, is everything good?” 
“Why wouldn’t it be?” You look up, giving him a venomous smile. Screw the picture book. “What do you like to do in your free time, Han Jisung? Don’t tell me you like to day-drink and play beer pong.”
“I’m not really a drinker. And you can just call me Ji-”
“Tell me, Han Jisung, is your zodiac sign Aquarius? And do you work in tech? Do you work for NCT Corp? Do you?” You inquire without a break, gulping down your glass before refilling it with more of that horrendous champagne. The angel on your shoulder implores you not to project your ex-boyfriend’s personality onto the poor sucker sitting in front of you, but the devil whispers a different tune. You decide to follow the latter’s advice; raging hellfire is always more fun.
Han Jisung looks bewildered, but answers your question anyway. “Um, I'm a Virgo. I do work in tech, but with JYP Electronics.”
“Wonderful.” 
“Anyway… I never got your name,” Han Jisung tries, visibly shaken by your suddenly aggressive line of questioning. 
You scowl at him. “That’s because I already made the mistake of trusting someone like you, Han Jisung.”
There’s still a few seconds left in the round timer, but you don’t pay any mind to it. Your social battery has been exhausted, and all of the progress you’ve made in a long time has gone to dust in a mere five-minute parameter. You grab your bag and stalk away from the table, leaving Han Jisung staring after you, openmouthed and utterly perplexed by the unmerited hostility. But screw him— you can’t even live for a day without being reminded by your douchebag ex who traumatized the fuck out of you.
In your fury, you barely notice the rolling cart of lunch items that accidentally rams into your side. Bowls of pesto pasta fly off the cart, the roasted cherry tomatoes arching in the air in perfect semi-circles before splattering onto the pristine grass. The restaurant staff immediately attends to the mess, while the other guests just glance carelessly at the mess before continuing onto the next round. You rub your hip as Hyunjin rushes over to you.
“Darling, are you alright?” Hyunjin drapes his arm around your shoulders, gazing at you with concern. You melt into his touch for a moment, the frustration simmering with the longing inside of you. “Where were you going?”
You back away from him. “This was a bad idea. Maybe I’m not ready for this. I need more time.”
He frowns, stepping closer to you. “But—”
“Han Jisung?” You interrupt, more animosity in your tone than you intend for there to be. “You knew his name when showing me his profile.”
Hyunjin’s eyes widen in both remembrance and regret. “Oh my god. I didn’t realize— I’m so sorry, Y/N.”
You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. Even taking into account how you feel right now, you don’t want to take it out on Hyunjin. Never. “It’s not your fault. But I’ll be on my way.”
Ducking your head, you turn and walk away, furiously blinking the tears away. A small part of you wishes Hyunjin would call you back, hug you close to him and ask you to stay. But he doesn’t, because he knows his boundaries. It’s you who doesn’t know their place, because regardless of the smarting pain inside of you, you want Hyunjin to bandaid your emotional damage. 
And as you pick up your pace, you realize that maybe you really are doomed to be Pygmalion, yearning for someone who no one else can even compare to, someone who’ll never be yours. No matter what sorts of grotesque demons haunt you, the most sinister of them all is the off-limits adonis who disturbs your heart even when you’re still reeling from the previous break. Han Jisung’s sunny skies woke you up from your dreams— Galatea is a fucking statue, art that will never come alive. 
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“Well, that was a colossal disaster.” Hyunjin covers his face with his palms and shrinks into the buttery leather upholstery of his seat. 
Wonyoung glances over at him as the car starts up. “What do you mean? I think it went great. I saw a sickening amount of flirting going on. Pretty soon, you’ll be officiating a bunch of weddings.”
Hyunjin groans, shaking his head. “But did you see the way Y/N left, Wonyoung? The whole Jisung thing? God, I screwed things up colossally.”
“It’s not your job to remember the names of all of your clients’ ex-boyfriends. It was an honest mistake that we both overlooked.”
“Still.”
“Dr. Hwang, I feel like there’s more to this than you’re letting on.” Wonyoung crosses her arms. “Since when did you get so worked up over a client— over anything?”
Hyunjin rolls his eyes like a petulant child. “I’m not getting worked up.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Am not.”
“Sure.” Wonyoung looks back down at her tablet, tapping away at the screen. “I’m already seeing so many matches.”
“Nice.” Hyunjin looks out the window pointedly. “It’s always fucking raining these days.”
“Dr. Hwang.”
Hyunjin ignores Wonyoung, just leaning forward to instruct the cab driver. “Actually, can you drop me off at The North End? Thanks.”
“Seriously. What is going on?” Wonyoung presses once more. “You can’t just go drinking now, not like this.”
“I’ll be fine, Ms. Jang.” Hyunjin doesn’t meet her eyes as he gets out of the car, placing a few bills covering the whole cab fare into her hands. “Get home safe.”
Before she can protest, Hyunjin closes the door and lets the drizzle envelop him, effectively ruining his new logo-motif jacquard set. But he doesn’t give a fuck as he steps into the bar like a shivering stray cat, because the stench of liquor and greasy peanuts is strong enough to incapacitate his inner fashion police. 
“Bourbon, on the rocks,” Hyunjin orders glumly, looking down at his phone screen, a shot of Princess Diana on her birthday last year. She looks absolutely precious in that fluffy pink tutu that he dressed her in, a sight that never fails to make Hyunjin melt. Today, however, not even his adorably stylish puppy can cure him. He downs the whiskey the bartender sets in front of him, wincing at the burn he so rightfully deserved.
When you stormed out of the party just barely two hours ago, it took every fiber of Hyunjin’s being to not run after you. He’d wanted to ditch everyone and just kiss it better for you. He’d take you back to his apartment, run you a bath, cook you a comfort meal, and massage all of your sore spots. And then he’d cuddle with you on the couch, holding you while you fall asleep in his arms. But his stupid common sense held him back, rooting him to the spot like a big, dumb boulder. 
After speaking with Seungmin, he realized how precisely he’s gone for you. And it obviously wouldn’t end well, so he decided that distance— complete professionalism— would be the way to go. Last night, he’d tried a crapload of healthy methods to try and fix himself, from watching porn to reading porn to even listening to porn on some sketchy podcast— anything to distract him from the thought of you. But nothing worked, because he wasn’t horny. No, he had an emotional boner— the worst kind of boners. In the end, he’d realized that the only way to move on from you would be get his ass out there and find someone else,a rebound— which is what he’d been dreading all along.
Therefore, he’d turned around like a fucking moron and went back to the party, listlessly floating around like a trash bag discarded on the highway. And now, he’s at some bar with high end cocktails that are just a pretentious way of saying “fuck me” to strangers.
“Hey there handsome, need company?”
Hyunjin looks to his left, where the sultry voice has originated from: a young woman— a pretty one, too. She’s wearing the kind of tight, black dress and matching coy smile that can only mean she wants one thing. Luckily, Hyunjin’s on the same page as her.
“What’s your name, darling?” Hyunjin asks her, ignoring the guilt inside his chest. That term of endearment was once reserved for you, and only you. He’d have to get over the sting of that too.
She sits down next to him, tossing her hair over her shoulder and exposing the smooth skin of her neck. “Lisa.”
“Lisa,” Hyunjin repeats, signaling to the bartender for another round. “Tell me, what do you do?”
“I’m hoping it’ll be you tonight.” Lisa smirks at him, raising an eyebrow seductively.
Well. That was fast.
Hyunjin chuckles, trying not to think of the nausea rising in his stomach. He accepts the drink from the bartender, clinking his glass against Lisa’s, meeting her darkened eyes over the rim.
“I’m Hyunjin. It’s nice to meet you.”
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You haven’t watched trashy Youtube videos in months, thinking you’d left that disgusting habit behind, and yet, here you are, watching said trashy Youtube videos. Today, it’s a shotgun wedding getting upstaged by one of the bridesmaids proclaiming her love for the groom. You feel an old chips packet somewhere inside the bedsheet hollow you’ve burrowed yourself into, the crumbs poking into your back like unwanted intruders. However, you just try to ignore the nasty feeling and slump into the mattress, pulling the bedcovers up so they cover your chin. 
It’s been almost a full week since the matchmaking debacle that you absolutely made a spectacle of yourself at. You’ve spent the entire time drifting off to work, getting yelled at by Mark for no reason at all, and then coming home and lazing around. At this point, your gym membership must be a mere accessory, and the nearby 7-Eleven that you frequent for junk food is practically your second home. Fuck— you’re disgusted with yourself.
Resorting to self-destructive yet containable activities has always been your go-to for whenever you’ve been down— you’ll let yourself be fine with the world falling apart as long as it’s inside the confines of your humble abode. For months, however, you’d truly believed that you were past it. Hyunjin’s presence in your life inserted a certain desire inside of you— not to be better for him, but to be better because of him. Hyunjin opened your eyes to the real beauty of living, of having passion for any trade and a lust for happiness. That kind of positive outlook kept you climbing up that hill, no matter how arduous it was to maintain good spirits for the majority of the time. But as soon as a crisis hit, you bailed on your trek and fell back down the cliff.
You feel truly guilty as well, an emotion that usually got lost in the web of pity and hatred that you spun yourself into whenever you know you’ve done something wrong. Han Jisung didn’t deserve to be subjected to your outburst, you know that— that should have been reserved for the person who actually wronged you. You never actually got the chance to confront Park Jisung, not after he walked out like he didn’t just fucking break you. Deep inside, you know that you take out that inky mixture of unresolved frustration and regret on every single person who dares trigger you, even if it’s unintentional. Han Jisung was one such unfortunate target today.
A small chime alerts you to a new message, and you tear your eyes away from your laptop, reaching for your phone on your nightstand. In the notifications on your home screen, you see that it is not an email from Hyunjin like you’d unrealistically hoped for— instead, it’s a text from Yeonjun, your cousin who’s a constant thorn in your fucking side.
Yeonjun: hmm i’m thirsty :P
You: no yeonjun, i will not take you out for drinks.
Yeonjun: pretty pls w a cherry on top
You: fuck off
Yeonjun: u seem upset :(((
You: i’m having adult problems, yeonjun. leave me alone.
Yeonjun: well then i will help you with ur adult problems
Yeonjun: u know, i’m an adult too OMG
Yeonjun: come on, when have i ever not given u great advice?
Yeonjun: i missed my fucking calling in therapy. i woulda been an excellent shrink.
Yeonjun: i’m an amazing cousin who always is there for u. y/n i lysm, u know that?
Yeonjun: u know what else i love? Vodka. 
Yeonjun: but i love u too <3
You: Yeonjun, stop fucking spamming me or I’m not coming.
Yeonjun: YAYY!
With a defeated sigh, you shove the blankets to the side, the cold air conditioning gripping your body like a vice. But begrudgingly, you have to admit that it feels refreshing to get out of your sweaty hideout and step into the shower, cleaning yourself up as much as you can on the outside— the inside issue can be attended to with the drinks.
A half hour later, you find yourself in a skeevy dive bar on the Westside, doing shots with your cousin, because even though he irritates you to the core, he’s all you have. You really could use that drink, anyway. But no amount of alcohol seems to mask the way your heart hangs heavier than the full moon outside. In fact, the liquid courage just manifests your sadness even more, leaving you a sniveling mess on the bar counter.
“And, he was actually really cute, you know? But I could never date him,” you sniffle, after downing your fifth drink. “It’s just, I just can’t deal with any reminders of Jisung.”
Yeonjun knocks back his vodka. “I take it back. If therapy means dealing with saps like you, I’d rather die.”
You frown at him. “It’s better than being a failing TikTok influencer. When’s the last time any of your thirst traps got views?”
Yeonjun shrugs, unbothered by your jab; he’s as used to you as you are to him. “You could’ve at least hooked up with him, if he was that cute.”
You swirl your straw in the melting ice as you get on your phone, pulling up the follow-up email in which Hyunjin had sent you online scans of the candidate profiles. Yeonjun looks over your shoulder and whistles as you zoom-in on Han Jisung’s picture. “But I’ve only ever slept with Jisung before. I may be a scary bitch, but I’m not bold enough for that.”
“At least you’re self-aware,” Yeonjun cackles. “Well, it’s only a better reason to have a one-night stand. Do you really want to give your trash ex-boyfriend the power of being the only person to have had sex with you? That’s kind of sad.” 
Yeonjun makes a face, shivering in disgust, and you sock him in the elbow in retaliation. “For someone so bitchless, you really have such strong opinions about me and my love life.”
“Who says I’m bitchless?” Yeonjun grins deviously. “Besides, you’re the one who told me all this crap in the first place.”
You glance up at the ceiling, feeling an indescribable sense of loss. “Perhaps I wouldn’t mind a one-night stand, though. I guess getting laid is something I kind of need right now. I need to stop letting Jisung control every aspect of my life.”
“Well, if you’re not averted to the idea, a person of interest just walked in.”
You whip around to look at the door, and of all people, Han Jisung from the matchmaking event walks in. He doesn’t notice you at the counter, just making his way over to one of the booths near the entrance and sitting down in solitude. The waiter takes his order and walks away, leaving him to put on his headphones in wait.
“I think I must be living in a social experiment.” You groan and look over at Yeonjun. “Hell if I’m sleeping with him.”
“Did you or did you not just say that you don’t want to let your ex control your life?”
You stare at Yeonjun. “I can sleep with someone else. He’s probably too scared of me anyway. I kind of verbally-knifed him the other day.”
“Please. Everything about that guy screams ‘degrade me.’ He probably liked that shit. You might as well use him as a punching bag again— this time, more productively.” Yeonjun waggles his eyebrows at you suggestively, and you wrinkle your nose in distaste.
“The fuck do you know about productivity?”
“Nada. But I do know a lot about getting a fix when needed.” Your cousin winks at you, producing a packet of condoms out of nowhere and slapping it into your palm. Before you can react, Yeonjun is already slinking off to go and flirt with a pretty girl sitting by herself on the other end of the counter. And alas, you’re left alone again. With a packet of XL condoms— Yeonjun sure is optimistic.
You glance over at said person of interest, who is currently immersed in whatever song that’s got him bopping his head to the beat, eyes closed as if in a dreamy trance. He’s not your type, for sure. But the thing is, you don’t even know what your damn type is at this point— if it wasn’t for Hyunjin’s ability to make you feel inappropriate things so vividly, you’d have thought you had fucking cobwebs down there. Speaking with Yeonjun really was a reminder that you’re still young, after years of both an emotional and physical dry spell. Emotionally, you might not be ready. Physically, however, there’s an opening, and you know it.
When you were dating Park Jisung, sex was always initiated by him. It was always for himself too, because he never cared about making you feel good. But you didn’t see it as a red flag, since you were so in love with him. You just followed him around like an innocent, lovesick puppy that was eager to please. And in the end, even that wasn’t enough.
Your first orgasm— and first experience with a deeper kind of desire— was alone, some time after your relationship ended. It was a quiet night, and you’d just fallen back onto the couch after another long, uneventful day at work. You flipped through the TV channels before settling on a network that was playing The Notebook, and despite its fame and reach, you’d never watched the movie before. Everything was normal until the main characters started kissing each other in the rain, a scene that would remain something you’d download and revisit many, many times when you were locked away in your room.
You’d never seen that level of lust before. You’d never felt it directed towards you or ever even experienced it when you discovered porn in your teenage years. Yet, these two people seemed to want each other on a whole other level, risking everything— their home, their reputation, their love— for something you’d always thought would be over in two minutes. And as your hand undid the button of your jeans and slipped down even lower, you realized just how wrong you were.
In the years that followed, you learned to become so much more comfortable with your sexuality. Hell, you have a drawer dedicated to storing your sex toys and on nights that you’d had too many glasses of wine, you wind up writing filthy erotica just for fun. However, you’d never actually considered having sex outside of a committed relationship, not until now. And in complete honesty, you really are curious about if Han Jisung is as subby as Yeonjun insinuated— if that proves to be true, you wouldn’t mind taking your pent-up Jisung-frustrations out on him. Productivity, and all. 
You slap your payment down on the wooden counter, shaking it slightly, before marching towards Han Jisung’s table. 
“Hey,” you start, but Han Jisung doesn’t notice you. “HEY!”
Han Jisung’s eyes fly open as he jerks in his seat and pulls off his headphones. At the sight of you approaching him so determinedly, he eyes you with both wariness and renewed interest, and you have to keep yourself from sighing exasperatedly at his hesitant desperation. You’re here for a reason, after all.
“Oh, hello. Y/N, right? I asked Hyunjin for your name after you left.” He gives you a nervous smile, brushing the bangs off of his forehead. “I think we got off on the wrong foot. I just wanted to say—”
“I’ll get to the point, Han Jisung.” You cut him off, ignoring the surprised expression on his face. It’s like he’s never in his life encountered a woman who knows what the hell she wants. “I want to have sex with you. What do you say?”
For a good minute, he says nothing, just gaping at you, shocked. And then he does a double-take, looking you up and down as if checking to see if you’re real. 
“Is this a ploy to kidnap me and steal my organs, or something? Because when I last saw you, I got the impression that you severely disliked me.”
“No, I’m not going to steal your organs. The truth is complicated,” you scoff. “But you’re hot, and I’m over everything else, at least for tonight. Are you up for it?” 
You stare Han Jisung down, making him shift in his seat. He scratches his nose and blinks at you like a trembling mouse. “I… wait. You think I’m hot?”
What an idiot. Good thing he’s pretty.
“Is that a yes?”
“Fuck yes.”
With no warning at all, you grasp his hand, pulling him out of the booth while he scrambles to grab his belongings and shove them into his pockets. You feel his gaze on the back of your neck as you drag him through the bar, walking with your chin pointed up with purpose. You wind your way between the tables expertly, but this Jisung stumbles, making you glare at him over your shoulder.
“Watch your step,” you snap.
“Sorry,” he mutters, looking down at the floor as you barge into the bathroom in the back of the building, tugging him inside with you. “Wait, are we not going to your place, or—”
“Stop asking so many fucking questions, Han Jisung.” You slam the door behind you both and click the metal latch in place, leaving you both locked in the tiny room. It isn’t so cramped that there isn’t any space for movement, but it’s small enough to force you both into facing each other in a charged silence.
You eye Jisung from head to toe, taking in his baggy t-shirt and ripped jeans. He clears his throat, making you raise an eyebrow at him. “So, um, do you really have to call me by full name? Don’t you think that’s a little formal, considering what’s about to happen?”
You roll your eyes, your mind going back to the other Jisung you know. Never— there must be something to differentiate the two. You take an intimidatingly emphasized step towards him, backing him up against the wall. “No. I don’t think that’s too formal, Han Jisung.”
“But—”
“Shut the fuck up.” You trace your eyes down his body once more, gaze landing on the noticeable bulge in his pants. Bless Yeonjun— how right he was, for once. You look up, giving Jisung a mean smile. “Are you actually getting turned on right now?”
“Uh, wow—” He squeaks, as you reach your hand out and place it on his warm thigh, tracing it up his limb at a painful pace both dedicated to your desire to tease and be cautious.
“I asked you a fucking question.” You retract your hand right before it reaches its destination, glowering at him. “Answer me.”
“Just, um. I…” Jisung stammers, closing his eyes before opening them again, as if preparing himself. The honeyed tone of his skin exposes a light blush and therefore, his answer. “Ruin me, please.”
That’s all the permission you need before you’re placing your hands on Jisung’s surprisingly toned shoulders, roughly turning him around and swapping places with him, so that now you’re the one with their back to the wall. 
“Han Jisung…” You speak slowly, punctuating your words with the kind of loathing that has Jisung panting like a dog waiting for a treat, eyes wide with anticipation tinged with delicious fear. “If you’re a good boy and do as you’re told, I’ll see about giving you a reward.”
“Oh my god.”
“Take off your clothes.” 
Jisung nearly trips over his own two feet trying to wrestle the suddenly irksome swaths of fabric off of his body, tossing the garments onto the gross bathroom floor like he doesn’t give a fuck about getting a staph infection later. When he’s fully stripped, you trace your eyes over him in your own leisure, reveling in the way he shivers when you do. Your gaze washes over his defined abs, dipping even lower until you reach his hardened cock, flushed a pretty pink and glazed with pre-come— the condoms would come in very handy, after all.
Seeing him bared to you and your mercy rouses you up like you never thought it would; you never thought that feeling wanted yet being in control would work you up so much, but it does, and you love it beyond reason. 
“You’re really something else. Getting off on me being so mean to you.” With a sadistic smirk, you cross your arms. “I bet you thought about me even after I ditched your ass at the party, didn’t you?”
“I— I did,” he admits, with a nervous giggle. “You’re so fucking hot, I just couldn’t help it. Seriously. I’m sorry if— mmph.”
You interrupt his rambling by winding your hand into his soft hair and forcing him closer to you, meeting his soft lips in a harsh kiss, one that has him moaning shamelessly into your mouth. You kiss him deeply, like you want to punish him for it, like you want to both hurt him and make him beg for more. Jisung’s lips are small but full, moving against yours in a sloppy yet heated exchange, fighting for more in an unwinnable battle; he tastes like brandy, strawberries, and the promises of a good time, and you’re drunk on it.
“You’re disgusting, Han Jisung,” you spit out, prompting a whimper from Jisung. “Get on your fucking knees.”
He wastes no time dropping to his knees and letting you lead the way, fully submitting to your tantric commands. Quickly, you clutch at his hands and direct them to where they should be, tilting your head back against the wall as Jisung satisfies your wishes. With an eagerness that doesn’t even compare to your own, Jisung loosens the knot on the elastic band of your skirt, not bothering to untie it fully before he’s tugging the skirt up so that it’s bunched around your waist. 
And without you even demanding him to move faster, he’s pushing your panties aside and attaching his greedy mouth to your cunt. You nearly jerk away at the overwhelming sensation of pleasure; your ex-boyfriend never went down on you, and oh, how profoundly you’ve missed out. But you’ve researched enough to know exactly what you want.
Jisung’s eyes flick up to where you’re looking down and showering him with breathy sighs, spurring on his performance. When you shoot him a warning glare, he goes back to completely making-out with your cunt, easily spreading you apart with two of his fingers so he can focus on your throbbing clit. Jisung uses his other hand to squeeze your thigh gently, rubbing circles into the smooth skin as he works.
He delves deeper into your pussy when you run your hands through his silky hair, lapping at your arousal like it’s honey and he’s been starving for days. “You taste so good…”
Immediately, you yank back his hair and hold him in place as you start to grind onto his pretty face. “I don’t remember saying you could fucking talk.”
Jisung groans, taking every insult you hurl at him in such a measured but unbridled way. He makes up for his lack in precision with his enthusiasm, suctioning his mouth around your tender clit and swirling his tongue in patterns that have gotten you seeing the fucking stars. He lets you use him entirely, body going slack as he helps you ride out your high. The obscene sounds of Jisung slurping at your cunt fill the room as you come, gripping his head between your thighs as you feel that beautiful wave of euphoria fall over you. You pat Jisung’s shoulder in silent instruction, and he rises, cupping the sides of your arms and running his hands down them gently, soothing the way you quiver at any touch. 
“Are you okay?” Jisung whispers, making you open your eyes in surprise. Your ex-boyfriend never once checked up on you, not even when you were clearly in discomfort that first time he made you his own. This complete stranger however, one that you have been anything but gracious with, inspects your face with concern. A strange feeling of warmth spreads throughout your body as you nod your head.
“I’m good. You did well.” You grasp the bottom of your top, pulling it over your head so that all you’re standing in now are your skirt and basically ruined panties. You didn’t bother with putting on a bra before you left the house, and now, you’re thankful for the decision that was ultimately a byproduct of your laziness; Jisung gazes at your body with utter reverence, like just the sight of your tits has blessed his entire life.
“Please…”
“Please what, Han Jisung?” You bite your lip, both amused and flattered by how desperate he is for your pussy. “Use your words.”
“Fuck me. Please, fuck me. I’ve been good, haven’t I?” Jisung whines sadly, clearly on the verge of tears. His cock is now rock-hard, flush against his stomach, and it turns you on so much to know that eating you out has reduced him to such a pathetic mess. 
“Yes, you have…” you murmur, before jutting out your hand to hold his chin tightly. “Spit.”
Without a single protest, he obeys, a single string of saliva connecting his lips to your hand, before you’re reaching down and palming his cock. He lets out a gasp as you wrap your fingers around the base, spreading the dampness and pumping a few times for good measure, as if the mixture of his spit and your own arousal coating your pussy isn’t lubrication enough. 
You take the condoms out and help Jisung slide one onto his cock, chuckling when he places his hand over yours to help quicken the process. And then you’re finally guiding him into your entrance, circling one leg around his body and caging him into your fantasies. 
“Fuck—”
Jisung enters you as you both collectively moan out loud, him at how tightly your cunt clenches around him and you at how wonderfully his dick curves into you, hitting your sweet spot inside each time. Jisung cups your face as he kisses you again, but this time, it’s slower and more drawn-out, a vast juxtaposition to how rigorously he thrusts into you. You drag your nails down his back in a way that’s sure to leave marks for days to come, but he just increases his pace on your aching pussy, lost in pleasure. 
You grip Jisung’s ass and squeeze at the flesh, eliciting a throaty groan from him as your sweat combined creates a sticky layer between your bodies. Your breasts are pressed against Jisung’s chest, and he ducks his head to attend to them, licking and sucking at your sensitive nipples. The heightened attention goes straight to your sweet pussy, making you buck your hips as you hold him even tighter. 
“Oh god— I’m fucking— I’m gonna come—” Jisung chokes out, his movements now erratic and even more rushed, if possible.
“Not yet.” You just laugh cruelly, shaking your head. “You’re going to wait. I’m first.”
“I— I don’t think I can—”
“Suck it up like the little bitch you are, and make me come again,” you snarl, digging your nails into the arch of his ass.
He cries out, and for a brief lapse in time, you think he will not be able to outlast you, but then he slides his hand down, rubbing frantic circles onto your clit. The attempt to get you off a second time works, and the orgasm washes over you like a cool breeze in the summertime. You can’t help what escapes you next.
“HYUNJIN!”
“Did you just—”
You clench your jaw and give Jisung a menacing look, warning him of a topic that should not be broached under any circumstances. Luckily, your harsh expression just seems to spur Jisung on even more, and he follows you into ecstasy not long after, squirming in your hold. When he finally finishes, hot spurts of him coat your pussy and trembling thighs.
For a moment, Jisung slumps against you limply, and you let him, enjoying that blanket of heat and protection against your exposed skin, another gift you’ve never been given before. But then you remember that’s all he is to you— a body that has warmed you up for one night. You don’t feel guilty though, because you never did offer more than you could actually give. 
You pat Jisung’s back, prompting him to draw back and give you a fucked-smile. His bangs are plastered against his forehead in a sweaty mess, and his skin is tinged pink from his great efforts to please you. It’s a sight that you’ll be tucking away in your memories for any future lonely nights. 
After putting your blouse back on, you walk over to the sink as Jisung just stays leaning against the wall. Wetting a paper towel with some water, you run it between your thighs and clean up the remnants of Jisung’s come smeared there. And then you pull your skirt down and help Jisung, because no matter how you don’t see him as more than a fling, he is still significant to you. He’s the first person to make you come and show you that physical care that you’ve been craving for so long, and that amounts to something. Besides, you’d never just toss someone aside after using them so intimately, not like your ex did with you.
You get a fresh towel for Jisung, placing it against his forehead to cool his heated skin while assisting him in putting his clothes back on. When you both are completely dressed, you place a chaste kiss on Jisung’s lips and give him a small smile, before turning for the door.
“I’ll be on my way now, Han Jisung.”
Jisung leaps forward quickly, grabbing your head before it can reach the doorknob. “Hey, I know you said this was just a one-night, but can’t we maybe get dinner or something?”
“Jisung.” The plain name is still sour on your tongue, but you swallow it down. “We aren’t going to work. This isn’t going to happen again.”
“Wait. Are you just, like, crazy edging me right now?”
Shaking your head, you let out a tired laugh. “No, I’m not. Look, I think you’re a really nice guy. I’m sorry for how I treated you at the party last week. You definitely didn’t deserve that, and I definitely still need to resolve my own issues. I’m sure there’s some other sexy lady out there just waiting to dom your pretty face off. You deserve better than me.”
You leave Jisung speechless, finally getting out of the bathroom. You have a very important meeting tomorrow, one that you absolutely cannot miss. Besides, he really does deserve better than you, someone who definitely doesn’t make his whole life an enigma. Someone who doesn’t have the same impact on him as Hyunjin does on you. 
And in your post-coital clarity, you also finally accept that there will be no compromising with your feelings for Hyunjin. You’re falling in love with him, so much that even when another man is balls-deep in you, he’s all you can think of. It’s so profound that it hurts, the thought of never being able to fuck him into oblivion like you just did with Han Jisung. You can never have those nights with him in dirty bathrooms, or the ones tangled up in bedsheets for hours at an end. Late night conversations about the banalities of life and playful interviews about where he buys his amazing clothing will never be yours. You’re playing a dangerous game, ignoring your feelings like they’re a hazy insect that will eventually buzz away. Because you know they won’t. They’ll come back to sting you.
As you beeline for the bar exit, you run straight into Yeonjun, who seems to have been waiting for you all along. And by the looks of the Cheshire grin on his face, he knows exactly what you’ve been up to.
“I knew his dick was big.”
“Don’t. You. Dare.”
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“So… want to talk about last week?”
“There’s not much to talk about.” You shrug, toying with the hem of your dress. It’s green, a new look from the various shades of pinks that you donned whenever visiting Hyunjin. The change doesn’t feel refreshing— really, it’s restricting and strange, somehow. Like it doesn’t belong on you.
Hyunjin sighs, getting up from his fancy chair to sit down next to you. So understanding, so caring, so gentle. Everything you don’t deserve and that you will never have. “Darling, please. Open up to me.”
You snap, looking at him directly. “I had sex with Han Jisung.”
Closing your eyes, you lift your up palm, effectively silencing whatever you know that Hyunjin was about to say. You take a deep breath, bracing yourself. You have to mend the cracks before you break completely. Again. It’s now or never, no matter how much it will hurt you to do so.
“And I think we should stop seeing each other.”
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«NEXT CHAPTER» · «GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME» · «TAGLIST»
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AUTHOR'S NOTE Here she is!! We're 2/5 of the way there 💪 Thank you for all of the love for this series! And again, I apologize for the atrocious wait-time. Please leave your thoughts, I don’t really mind if you leave a whole essay ;) -Dreamy
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TAGLIST @skzfelixlove @army-stay-noel, @hwangjuhong, @chizumiyoshi @hyunjinswifeee @geneziesm @sherryblossom @yeetfellx @bennetbutton @chillseo @hyuneyeon @seosalad @nhyunn @hyunjinnie2000 @ajxreads @n2tl4na @yeahhspider @8makes1scream @jetblackbelle @143hyunes @raginghellfire @sinforsuccubus @lixiesw1fe @chartrucewhore @freckleboilix @ultimatestayandminoronce @cheesytangerine @leyknowsbin @stay278 @strawberry-dreamland @lvrgrl-xo @moasworld @hyunnielix @httphans @chaotic-world-of-the-j @nyasstars @beautifulmusicaddict-blog @imasimplol @1clickawayfrominsane @xsw-void @queen-klarissa @hyunjinsamdl @heavenhannie @moasworld @kykeu @sxlxna ***The users that I could not tag are written in pink***
If you'd like to join the taglist, click here!
NETWORKS @kflixnet @k-films
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©jisungsdaydreamer 2023 | All rights reserved. I do not condone translations or transfers of my work onto other platforms such as Wattpad, AO3, etc. Tumblr is my only platform. Acts of plagiarism are strictly prohibited.
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hitchell-mope · 21 days
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Driving instructor: okay, imagine the person you love the most and the person you hate the most are in the middle of the road, which do you hit?
Ben: Harry. Definitely Harry. I could never hurt Mal.
Driving instructor: the breaks, you hit the breaks your majesty.
Ben: ohhhh. Yeah, you did not make that clear.
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ohdrarry · 9 days
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author reclist: wolfpants
over the last few months, i've been devouring @wolfpants' works. ever since reading pages of you in two days, their rendering of harry, draco and a vast array of incredibly compelling side characters have irrevocably hooked me.
wolf is an author in enthralling motion. their fics often feature places, temporalities and contexts far removed from where canon holds & leaves us, while simultaneously being tenderly familiar, like coming home. wolf's sense of & grasp over setting leaves me breathless and dumbstruck. their different spatialities inform & infuse character in admirable ways, at various levels of craft, enjoyment and inspiration. this fandom knows and loves the draco and harry they give us, but we delight in discovering new dimensions & aspects of these characters. it's always done brilliantly believably, especially in the framework of the worlds they construct— a breath of fresh air in a forest where the trees still know your name.
wolf's works also demonstrate, sometimes explicitly, sometimes implicitly, a really significant political sensibility. most of their fics are set against backdrops tight with political tension bleeding into the characters' circumstances and interpersonal dynamics. whether through a spectrality haunting the narrative or the crucial central diegetic thread, wolf's works are layered, interrogating and collapsing delineations among private, public and political, between history and contemporaneity and between narrative and commentary.
in the interests of length & theme of this list, i've specifically selected some fics that, for me, showcase wolf's mastery & playfulness with setting, understood as deviations in place, time and universe. the broader recommendation is, of course, to check out everything wolf has ever written!
nightcall (E, 1k) ft. a long distance phone call
On a top secret Unspeakable misson, Harry calls Draco from a remote phone booth on the Isle of Skye.
a stunning portrait of desire, longing and familiarity that uses distance as a device to intensify every element. it's unbelievable how much character & context 1k words of (mostly) smut can pack in. the slivers of backstory demand your investment, inform the dynamic in crucial ways and set up some delicious stakes and tension. and some absolutely fantastic dirty talk. see also: @getawayfox's gorgeous art for this fic!
long haul (E, 8.6k) ft. plane rides, mile high club, nyc
The last person Harry expects to run into on a long haul flight to New York City is Draco Malfoy.
the way wolf writes movement— between places, between people— strokes its way up your spine, warms you, walks with you. draco and harry, buoyed in the air, let preconceived notions fall away, to be replaced by startlingly rapid and exquisite intimacy. the liminal settings, specifically, allow mature, open-minded, desirous characterisation & some of the most glorious, soft, tender sex to fall into like a warm bed.
look for me in the sun (M, 8.7k) ft. americana, roadtrip/on-the-run vibes
Harry and Draco are on the run in America after a mysterious string of werewolf-like attacks in the Muggle community causes the Ministry to impose new and harsh anti-werewolf legislation.
atmospheric writing dialled up to eleven, like the smell of ozone in the air before a thunderstorm. the sense of limbo— transience, out of place and time, the complication of home— that afflicts the circumstances of draco & harry here is heart-wrenching. a taut rumination on otherness in a variety of ways, rendered through some of the most tense and subtle writing i've encountered.
under giant mountains (E, 33.7k) ft. norwegian dragon reserves & rampant escapist tendencies
Harry doesn't know where he's going. Everyone else has their life paths figured out; he doesn't even know where his map is. Who'd have thought Draco Malfoy bathing in a Norwegian forest would be the guidepost Harry needed?
opens with harry, stuck in the same place for far too long, and draco, avoiding fixity like the plague. this fic looks at both stagnation and escapism as iterations of each other & treats them with the gentlest empathy. the norwegian dragon reserve setting, whose visuality wolf's writing captures beautifully, becomes the canvas to explore both. desire, here, was simultaneously so evident from the outset and took its time to build— longing tinged every interaction & payoff, in the form of a sequence of some of the most emotionally fraught sex scenes i've ever read, was that much sweeter.
romp and circumstance (E, 35k) ft. a historical au set in the 1800s, regency era england
Since the war, Harry Potter has gone from Saviour to Scoundrel—not that he’s complaining. With a schedule full of gorgeous men, alcohol, and late nights, why would he want to change? Enter Draco Malfoy: beautiful, sharp, and completely untouchable. When Draco comes to Harry with a proposition to help him attract an engagement, Harry’s up for it—after all, how hard can it be not falling for his former nemesis? Very hard, apparently.
the very first wolf fic i read, in a brief little fandom interlude back in 2022. i remember thinking, then, what an author, i'm really missing out these days. one of my favourite post-war harry characterisations— raucous, promiscuous, messy and at heart, a hopeless romantic. also one of my favourite draco characterisations— pristine, a little uptight, cool and distant and untouchable, except what he really wants is to be unbuttoned, messed up. the transforming sentiments of their relationship were so compelling, the build of harry's feelings was perfectly achey and tender and this draco was a complex, nuanced, frightfully sexy version that i just couldn't turn away from.
pages of you (E, 101k) ft. a 1980s non-magical au
Summer, 1980. Harry is floating between university and becoming a Real Certified Adult. He's not ready. He really isn't. In a desperate attempt to have the Best Last Summer ever, he takes a casual job at his godfather's bookshop in London, starts an illicit pen pal affair with a wordy posh boy that he's catching feelings for, all while dealing with the son of Sirius's business rival, one Draco Malfoy, insufferable know-it-all extraordinaire.
gosh, what a fic. sensitive and sprawling, this work brings the spatialities of london, sirius and remus' queer comfort of a bookshop and harry's room at the residence halls to pulsing, colourful, splendid life. i can still close my eyes and imagine the spaces this fic occurs in, how important they are to the push and pull, ups and downs of the dynamic between harry and draco. a coming-of-age/sexual awakening & exploration story, summer romance and queer political fiction rolled into one, this is a fic that's hard to summarise and easy to obsess over. perfect characterisations, writing that burrows into your soul and a plot that unfolds with the slow and steady depth of gentle lake.
and lastly, a fic that's on my tbr:
terrible people (E, 52.7k) ft. cruises, beach holidays and more of @getawayfox's masterpieces
What happens when Harry and Draco end up on the same Muggle gay cruise? They certainly didn't plan for it to happen (but their friends might have). They're stuck with each other for a week, they might as well make the most of it, right?
in conclusion: vivid, descriptive, immersive storytelling from an author who understands the intricacies of different narrative elements and leverages them masterfully. can't wait to read the works i haven't, and for everything wolf writes in the future!
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mlmxreader · 1 month
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idk how the fuck people are surprised abt JK Rowling's latest anti-trans bullshit when we've known for YEARS that she happily sides w Nazis; all her public bullshit aside, did you lot suddenly forget the fact that she used antisemitic portrayals of Jews as part of her "fantasy" world where they were all working in banks w long hooked noses and long fingers and beady eyes and pointed ears? her being a Holocaust denier is NOT surprising, and nor is it anything NEW, either.
at this point, yall just need to stfu and listen to the people who are SAYING and have been saying for YEARS that any public and private support of Harry Potter IS allowing her to have this platform; she AND her terrible writing need to fate into the obsolete and have been needing to for YEARS.
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dani-luminae · 2 years
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Things that I wish had happened in canon
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bitterkarella · 1 year
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Midnight Pals: The Protocols of Hogwarts
[Scottish castle] Agent: hey joanne JK Rowling: Lydia Rowling: what newssss do you bring of the outsssside muggle world Agent: Agent: uh well Agent: there’s been A LOT of buzz about your new Hogwarts game Rowling: good buzz? Agent: Rowling: the children all love my hogwartssss game do they not? Rowling: they love to be transsssported back to the whimsssical apolitical world of harry potter! Rowling: lotssss of good publicity, right? Agent: well Agent: if you think about it Agent: there’s no such thing as BAD publicity right?
Rowling: you sssspeak of the Hogwartsssss game which I had nothing to do with, correct? Rowling: completely handsss off! No involvement whatssssoever! Rowling: sssso keep in mind that a certain twitter thread absolutely in no way reflectssss reality Rowling: legally, it mussst be said it’s for entertainment purposessss only
Agent: so about this Hogwarts game Rowling: yesss? Agent: I notice it’s about a goblin rebellion Rowling: yesss? Agent: you know, joanne, there’s been a lot of talk lately Agent: about your goblins Rowling: yesss? Agent: do you think maybe Agent: could the game be about Agent: about something else? Rowling: what do you mean Agent: like Agent: there’s a lot of aspects of your world that aren’t Agent: weirdly antisemitic Agent: maybe you could make the game about some of those? Agent: like, about a dragon or Agent: idk Agent: a beholder or something?
Rowling: Lydia Rowling: maybe you’ve forgotten your place as my agent Rowling: your job is to ferry the big bags of money from WB to my vault Rowling: I’m the whimssssical geniusss who comes up with ideasss!
Agent: I’m afraid there’s a problem joanne Rowling: what? Agent: it turns out that they accidently made the game antisemitic Agent: and accidentally hired an alt right gamergate guy to make it Agent: and a psychotic MRA anti family court guy to voice 12 characters Rowling: wow, what a comedy of completely unintended errorssss! Agent: it’s kind of a real whoopsy doodle altogether, honestly
Rowling: I don’t undersssstand why people are mad Rowling: they don’t like my hook-nosed bankers who use childrensss blood for vile ritualsss? Agent: people think they’re kinda antisemitic Rowling: well, I thought the jewsss wanted represssentation! Agent:
Rowling: next they’re gonna get mad about the sssuspiciously goblin sssympathetic transss character! Rowling: you know, transss are a plot by the global goblin elite Agent:
[mysterious circle of robed figures] JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: my loyal circle of terf death eaterssss Rowling: everyone is mad about my hogwartsss game Rowling: but you all undersssstand Pamela Paul: of course we do!
Pamela Paul: man, wouldn’t it be cool if we could live in Hogwarts legacy for real? Paul: like, maybe like Paul: what if there were goblins living in your neighborhood? And you could report them to some sort of goblin culling authority? Paul: or if some of your neighbors were secretly hiding goblins in their attic and you could report them? Paul: wouldn’t that be fun? Paul: I feel like ron desantis is the man who could make this a reality
Paul: see, ron desantis has his finger on the pulse Paul: he knows what the average American likes Paul: and the average joe, let me tell you, he loves big trains Paul: big rattling cattle cars, passing in the night, carrying strange cargo to mysterious ends Paul: a knock on the door in the night Paul: it’s like a fun mystery!
Paul: americans love ron desantis banning books Paul: and, quite frankly, as the new York times book reviewer Paul: it kinda makes my job easier!
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