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kerie-prince · 3 years

Text

the intern

Peter Parker x Reader (college au)

requested: (anon) plz plz plz give me some college aged, super powerful ( think stark ceo powerful ) peter parker shit. idc what the rest of the story is about, i just need a brooding, smoldering, suit wearing, extremely expensive, college aged spiderman. plz and thank you!!!!

warnings: language

summary: When you start a new internship at Stark Industries, you're not only surprised to find Peter working as your boss, but that he's not the shy neighborhood boy you grew up with

a/n: this doesn't follow canon so for this imagine, hammer industries is just a rival company and the snap never happened lol also i don't know anything more than operating a phone so don't expect me to write sciencey, techy stuff lmao

(gif source)

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you were running across the road to jump into a cab that was available. Your phone hadn't been charging all night as you thought it had which caused you to wake up forty-five minutes before the start of the interview. You need this internship before you graduate from Empire State and get your degree in robotics.

On the way there, you nearly got car sick as the driver took sharp turns and nearly ran past intersections seconds before they became red. Once in front of Hammer Industries, your heels clicked loudly as you ran inside the tall building. You checked in with the front desk and took the elevator up to the 10th floor.

Just as you arrived, Justin Hammer was calling your name. “I'm right here!” you nearly tripped on your heels and your breaths were short.

“I've called your name three times, do you understand what that makes you look like, correct?” Justin stood unphased as you stood up straight and tried to steady your breath. “All these people are on time. Some of these folks have been here for hours, even.”

“Yes, sir. I’m so sorry–”

“Shame, I really liked your resume and your report on the expansion of nano-technology. Try again next year, maybe.” Justin started to call out the next participant and when she got up you stepped in front of her, “Please Mr. Hammer, I need this internship or I can't graduate.”

The people in the waiting room had their eyes on the two of you, tension so thick that it was almost hard to breathe. “Then maybe you should have come on time,” he pushed you aside to let the next person in to interview. You quickly ran back out and spoke to no one all the way home. Your eyes and cheeks were aching as you held in the tears during your Uber ride. The driver wanted to ask if you were okay, but if you were to break down in his car he’d probably be stuck having to listen to what happened and if he was honest with himself, he didn't actually care.

Once you got to your apartment, you made a straight line to the kitchen. “Hey, how’d the interview go?” MJ, your roommate, asked while still looking at her computer. You reached into the freezer for your emergency ice cream pint, snatched a spoon and walked into your room without saying anything. “That bad, I guess,” MJ said to herself.

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

You sat with MJ and Ned in the cafeteria, but had not touched any of the food on your plate. Your head was laid on the steel table and you just continuously groaned. “I’m a failure,” you whined.

“No, what you are is fucking dumb,” MJ commented as she ate.

“Thanks, Michelle, that makes me feel so much better,” you looked up to glare at her before laying her head back down. Ned felt bad that his friend was in despair, “How come you didn't ask Peter for help?”

“Huh?” you lifted your head back up some of your hair falling onto your face.

“Yeah, Peter already works at Stark Industries, why didn't you just ask him to get you in? You could even skip the internship altogether and be in full time,” Ned suggested. You gave it some thought, but something about it didn't sound right.

“No, I don't want to bother Peter. I don’t want him to think that I’m only calling him for a job,” you sighed. Ned texted Peter anyways. Unexpectedly, Peter texted him back immediately.

“He says it’s fine,” Ned showed you his phone to read the text. ‘Yeah man, tell her to come in tomorrow and Ms. Potts will interview her’

You let out a deep breath you didn't know you were holding and pulled out your phone.

‘Thank you so much for helping me out’

(…)

‘No problem, anything for a friend’

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

The Stark Industries building was huge. It almost looked taller than the Empire State Building, and maybe it actually was. Your legs were shaking as you stared up at it. “Here goes nothing,” you assured yourself.

The lobby was bustling with people; workers walking around, a group of kids that seemed to be here on a field trip, and some teens taking pictures in front of one of Mr. Stark's Iron Man suits.

The trip up to the 17th floor was crowded with people as more and more entered in every passing floor. You had to squeeze yourself out and accidentally stepped on someone’s foot in the process.

Looking around, your jaw dropped. It was an open laboratory with groups of people putting together small robots, flying drones, and people laughing and talking. It was such a fun and cool looking environment, you wondered why you didn't just apply here in the first place.

Pepper Potts spotted you walking around and approached you with a tap on your shoulder. “Hi, I’m Pepper. You must be Y/N,” she reached her hand out to shake yours which you accepted. “Hi, nice to meet you.”

“Peter’s told me a lot about you. Come, follow me,” Pepper’s office had glass walls and a view of New York from behind her desk. You weren't particularly fond of heights, but even you would love to have an office view like that. Pepper gestured to the chair in front of her as she smoothed her dress to sit in hers. “So, I see here that you had an interview at Hammer’s. Can I ask why you chose them?” You didn't even know how they got that information. You hadn't seen or spoken to Peter in quite a while, so how Pepper knew that was beyond you. You sat there with your lips moving to say something but nothing was coming out.

Pepper seemed to have caught on what you were thinking and elaborated, “Before I do any interviewing, I do full background checks on everyone.” She had a gentle smile which made you feel better. You thought she would scold you or something considering the question did more than catch you off guard.

“My mother used to work there for a long time and I figured that I would follow,” you explained. Pepper nodded her head and wrote some notes down. She looked onto her computer and looked at everything there was about you. “Well, I see here that you have exceptional grades. 4.7 GPA since you started school and your paper on nano-technology has gotten much praise. I think even Tony read it.” No way. The Tony Stark read my paper? “So tell me, do you see yourself working here at Stark Industries?”

You looked outside and watched everyone in the open lab again. “Yes.”

“Then that’s all I need to hear. We’d love to have you here,” she reached over to shake your hand. You looked at her surprised and hesitantly shook hers. “Welcome to the team, Y/N.”

“Thank you so much!” You cupped her hand with both of yours and shook it a little too quickly, but she didn't seem to mind. You were ecstatic to start your path to your career, and at a dream place at that.

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

Your alarm rang at the time you set it to, but there was no need for it. You couldn't sleep all night. Today is your first day of your internship and you were feeling so many things at once. Excited, nervous, happy, scared…

You tried to restrain yourself to a light breakfast, but MJ’s pancakes were to die for that you ate two whole stacks. You looked through your closet just about fifteen times; you had already picked an outfit the following night with the help of MJ, but when you put it back on, you hated it. It sucked for your roommate seeing as she had to sit through you changing from eight other outfits.

You tried to picture the lab again to see how other people dressed for a better idea to base it on your outfit choice. From what you remember, it was pretty casual, so that’s what you stuck to.

You were given your pass the day you were hired, so you had no issue walking inside. The elevator was just as packed as it was last time, but you were more composed so there were no toes being stepped on this time. You weren't exactly sure as to where you had to go, so you looked around to see if there were other interns to ask where to start.

“Y/N!” Peter’s voice surprised you from behind. Your shoulders jumped a bit, but relaxed at the view of his face. His face… you actually hadn't seen him for quite a while. Months, maybe. His jawline was more defined, and his once floppy hair was styled neatly. You tried to not look him up and down, but the temptation was definitely there. And the other thing, his voice was deeper than you last remembered. Is this really Peter Parker? “Hey, Peter.”

He gave you a hug that nearly made you lose breath. He was stronger than you remembered. A memory flashed back to when you were in junior high; you, Ned and Peter were hanging around the local park and you beat Peter on rounds on the monkey bars. He gave up after a couple bars, but you went back and forth a couple times. ‘Show off.’ But now, he had muscles that the shirt he was wearing hugged his biceps.

The hug was quick, and you had to pretend that he didn't just squeeze some life out of you. “Do you work on this floor?”

“Yeah, you’re actually assigned to work with my team. Come, I’ll show you around.” He started walking and you noticed how his posture changed. Damn, I know it hasn't been this long since I've seen him. Why does he look so different? He was wearing trousers. Trousers? Peter hates trousers. But his ass is looking great–

“Hey guys, this is Y/N. She’s going to be working with us as an intern. And I'll say this beforehand, no she's not going to be taking coffee or lunch orders,” Peter introduced you. There were various aged people in this group. Some were your age, and one person looked to have been in his thirties. Peter is in charge of this group? They all said ‘hi’ to you and went around introducing themselves.

Once that was finished, Peter pulled a chair for you on the table. “You’ll take notes for me while I give this presentation,” he whispered to you before walking in front of the table and started writing on the clear glass board.

He was talking quickly and didn't stumble over his words like he used to. Everyone was listening to him attentively and you jotted notes down as quickly as you could. Every now and then, you would steal glimpses of him and feel a sort of… well you felt something. Amazement? Inspiration? Adoration?

No doubt was Peter one of the smartest people you've ever met and here he was leading his own team and making potential products for Stark Industries at such a young age. Seeing him at work was so… it was indescribable to you but all you could think of was how different he is now. In a good way, of course.

Peter Parker has been your friend for years and to see him change from a bumbling, shy, adorable nerd into a confident, intelligent working man attracted you.

When you got home, you thought a lot about your first day. Being an intern at Stark Industries was really fun, so far. You weren't expected to do silly things like get coffee or lunch for everyone or pick up someone’s dry cleaning. You actually learned something and even had your opinions heard on some of the things that Peter suggested for his team’s upcoming product presentation.

If this is what it's like to be an intern, you couldn't imagine what it would be like working full time.

“How'd it go?” MJ stuck her head in your room. “It was fun. I'm working with Peter,” you explained your day to her.

“Cool,” was the last thing she said before she went to her own room for the night.

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

In the past few months, your internship at Stark’s has been going swimmingly. Everyone's been so nice, and the work is so fascinating. You've gotten closer with Peter and along the way, he felt like he was more than a friend and boss to you.

Currently, everyone was getting ready for their final presentations for the upcoming annual Stark Industries Convention. It was going to be Peter’s first year presenting his own project with his team and you were so excited to be a part of it.

The time you’ve spent with Peter was really fun. He was a good mentor and a great friend. The only thing was that you couldn't help but look at him a little too long, and you’ve found yourself thinking about him during your classes or doing your homework. The shy boy from Midtown High was no more, replaced– no, grown into the Peter you know now. But you pushed all feelings aside to focus on your next thesis paper and mock-up of the handout brochures of Peter’s project.

Sometimes, you didn't even feel like an intern as Peter would ask for any ideas you had to make the project better and even let you help with assembly. He stayed true to his words and you’ve never once had to run for coffee or things like that. There’d be times when you would study some of the little parts under a magnifying glass and he’d come up slightly behind you and explain about some of the bits on the working table.

And every time he did that, your breath would be stuck in your throat and you’d have to remind yourself that this was just Peter helping you out and you’re just learning. But it was normal to want more every now and then… right?

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

The convention was just a few days away and you had trouble finding something to wear. These events were usually black tie events, but did that mean the presenting teams as well? Wouldn't that be uncomfortable?

One of the guys on your team, Richie, sat with you during lunch and talked about how he was probably going to wear the same suit as always. Not because he couldn't afford a new suit, but he was just a simple person and he only wears it once a year for the conventions and that’s all, so it’s still in mint condition.

The girls on your team and some from others were going dress shopping the day before and invited you to join. You were excited mainly because now you don't have to bother MJ for it.

Speaking of MJ, you were going to ask her to come with you. Pepper sent out the electronic invitations to everyone in the company and authorized plus ones to even interns. She’s never been to one – for reasons you were still confused about – but you wanted your best friend to be there for you. And if not MJ, then you bet Ned would still come with you. Wait, what if he’s going with Peter?

On cue, Peter had sat in the chair next to yours in the small break room, “Hey, Y/N.”

“Oh, hey Pete. You excited for Saturday?” Peter quietly stirred his coffee and gave you a small smile, “Uh, yeah. I’m nervous, but I’ve worked really hard on this. And everyone, too. Including you.”

You slightly blushed. I didn't do all that much you thought. You two just sat there taking small sips from the hot, bitter beverage.

“So… I wanted to ask you something,” Peter started.

“Mhm?” The coffee nearly slipped past your lips. You quickly grabbed a napkin to lightly dab some of it off of your lips.

“Well, as you know, we can bring anyone with us to the convention,” he trailed off.

“Yes?” Is he going to…

“And I wanted to know if you were bringing MJ with you.” Oh. You nodded your head and thought you hid your disappointment well but without knowing, Peter actually caught it for a split second. “Good. You can come with me,” he smiled and stood up.

You were in awe; without effort, Peter just asked you to be his date for Saturday.

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

“Dude, how are you not ready yet? He’s gonna be here any minute,” MJ sat at her computer per usual working. Your music was too loud for her taste playing from your shared bathroom. Peter said he would pick you up at 7, and it was currently 6:50.

You had put on and removed your make-up at least five times. Something was always wrong; one of the wings would either be thicker than the other, the blush would be the wrong shade, or the lipliner kept going out of place. But, alas, you finally nailed it.

Your hair was styled half up with elegant curls and braids. In between some braids were little bits of baby’s breath flowers. Most likely, you were going to have a hard time taking those out but they looked cute and it was too late to take them out.

Your dress was right above your knee and flowed comfortably so you wouldn't have a hard time walking. It was a neutral taupe color and had a V-line that ended just above cleavage and hugged the curve of your waist. You paired it with simple black heels and a small, white handbag.

“He’s here,” MJ informed you.

“Okay,” you took a deep breath, “what do you think?” You spun around and held your arms out. “You look really pretty. Now go get ‘em. I’ll watch it on the live stream.” She gave you a lazy thumbs up and resumed her work.

Outside was Peter in an all-black apparel. His dress shirt had only one button undone, and he had a loose blazer that accentuated the dip of his shoulders. He stood against the limo with his hands at his sides. God, he’s gonna be the death of me.

When he caught sight of you, he had a flirtatious smirk on his lips and held out for your hand. “Peter, where’d this limo come from?”

“Mr. Stark set it up for me,” he stated like it was no big deal. Must be nice being his favorite. He held the door for you to climb in and closed the door behind him. “We’re ready, Happy,” he told the driver. Happy rolled his eyes, closed the window and drove off.

The convention was off to a great start; Tony Stark came in with his suit as he always loved to do and started introductions before everyone else scattered around to look at the projects of the many departments in his company. Some groups of certain departments had large stages, some had small stands, like Peter’s.

There were still large crowds coming to see the smaller presentations, and everyone seemed to be fascinated with Peter's. You stood on the side as his team operated the machine and Peter spoke. He looked confident and it was mesmerizing to watch him.

After the night was over, all employee’s and some guests were brought back to headquarters for the after party. You walked around with Peter and had flutters in your heart every time he held the small of your back. The most exciting part of the night was meeting Tony Stark in person. He greeted Peter warmly, and then his eyes landed on you, “Peter, who’s this?”

“Oh, this is Y/N. She’s a friend of mine,” he gestured for you. You shook Tony’s hand and stood starstruck. “The one you don’t shut up about?” Pepper hit his shoulder and laughed nervously.

“Wait, I’ve heard about you. Buddy of mine works at Empire State and he showed me your paper, it was really good.” You were still shocked that he had even read it and here he was talking to you about it. You went back and forth talking about nano-technology.

On the way home, you and Peter talked and laughed about things you told him as you caught him up to what was happening on campus when he couldn't be there. It was a really fun night, and Peter was more noticeably relaxed now that the hard part was over. “Alright, home sweet home,” Happy announced through the window.

“Well, that’s me,” you smiled sadly, not wanting the night to end. You reached to open the door but Peter climbed out from his side. He walked around to open your door and just like he did earlier, held his hand out for you to grab and assist you out the limo. What was different this time was that he kept his hand in yours as he walked you to the door of the apartments. “I had a great time with you tonight,” Peter confessed.

“Me too,” your voice was soft and low for only him to hear. Peter’s eyes switched from looking into yours to your lips before he grabbed your face with both hands and kissed you. The kiss was needy, passionate, but had a certain gentleness to it. Once he felt you kiss him back with the same fervor, he deepened the kiss and brought one hand to pull your waist closer to him.

You pulled apart to regain your breath and looked to admire his swollen lips and he copied the same notion. He leaned in to give you a gentle kiss and pulled away, “Good night, Y/N.”

“Good night, Peter.” Your cheeks were flushed and your face was warm. You watched him as he left and ran inside. Upstairs in your apartment, you found MJ and Ned sitting on the couch with a bag of chips in each of their hands.

“Good night?” Ned asked. You just nodded and walked slowly to your room.

“We saw the whole thing, by the way,” MJ said nonchalantly. You looked back to glare at your best friends, Ned smiling innocently at you and MJ keeping her straight face.

You changed into your pajamas and laid on your bed on your back, looking up at the ceiling. You couldn't wait to go back to work on Monday.

—

requests open!

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witchywrter · 3 years

Text

“Home” (Part 5/?)

Paul Lahote x reader

Part 4

Summary: y/n returns from college in California to her hometown in Forks to find things are not as she left them. She soon discovers that a lot more things have changed then she initially thought.

Warnings: mentions of death, car accident, verbal fighting, cussing, i think that covers it

A/N: i am literally so sorry for not updating sooner guys lmao i’m trying to update all my fics now, especially this one bc i love it. i’ll get the next one out next week. love you all!_______________________________________________

You felt so much pain as you began to regain consciousness and could make out someone calling your name.

“Y/n?”

You turned your head to the source of the sound to see a Doctor at your side, his hand on your arm. He was very handsome. Not exactly your type, but still. He looked to be around your age, far too young to be a Doctor already.

“Hello Y/n, my name is Dr.Cullen. You’ve been in an accident”

Your head was throbbing and you felt pain radiating from your stomach and leg. You looked around to find that you were indeed in the hospital.

You looked down at his hand on your arm. It was ice cold, absolutely freezing. He must have noticed you looking because he removed his hand.

“How long have I been here?” you asked, looking back to the Doctor.

“About a day and a half. Do you remember anything?” he asked kindly.

“There was a man in the road, he came out of nowhere. I swerved to try to avoid him” you said trying to remember.

“Your car flipped four times and caught fire. A piece of glass punctured your abdomen and another your left thigh, narrowly missing your femoral artery. We were able to stop the bleeding and stabilize your condition. You’re lucky to be alive, if your friend hadn’t been there to pull you out when he did, you could have died” he finished, shaking his head.

“My friend?” you asked.

“He’s from the reservation, one of Jacob Black’s friends I believe” he said.

Well that didn’t exactly narrow it done much. Your car was totaled most likely. You’re dad’s car, the one thing you had left of him.

“You’ll be okay, but you need your rest. You can be discharged tomorrow morning and the stitches will dissolve on their own in two weeks” he said has he picked up your chart and began walking away.

“Oh, one more thing. Sherif Swan called me, if you still want that internship, send over your resume and you can start after your two weeks” he said with a slight smile on his lips.

“Thank you Dr.Cullen” you called out as he left to check on other patients.

You looked over to your side to see an array of gifts on the beside table and chair. There seemed to be something from everyone. Flowers with cards from Leah, Sam, Emily and even Charlie and his daughter Bella and a big card from Quill, Embry, Collin, and Brady with all their own little messages and signatures.

The huge, brown bear sat on the chair with a red ribbon around its neck didn’t seem to have a card accompanying it.

You grabbed your phone from the side table and unlocked it. There were a few messages from friends and one from your mom. You opened up your mom’s message and read:

“Why did I have to find out from the Sherif that my daughters been in a car accident. You know what it was like for me when your father passed and the fact that you’d put me through that again is appalling”

This was followed by multiple messages about how horrible of a daughter you were and how you have no excuse for ignoring her text messages.

She had no right to bring up your dad like that. As if you got into an accident to hurt her, as if you were unconscious and not responding on purpose.

Your dad was driving home one night after a long night at the hospital when he was hit by a drunk driver. He was pronounced dead at the scene. You never got to say goodbye. Never got to tell him you loved him one last time.

You turned your phone off and set it on the side table and laid back down. Although you were out for a day and a half, you felt utterly exhausted, mentally and physically. You pulled your blankets back up and closed your eyes, hoping for a full nights rest.

You woke up to the curtains flying back, sunlight flooding the room. Your eyes stung as you were blinded.

“Wake up loser, it’s time for a jail break” Leah said in a very cheerful voice.

“No Leah, I’m not dead and feel amazing” you say in a sarcastic voice.

“That’s exactly what i wanted to hear. Seriously though, are you okay? You scared the shit out of everyone” she said, her voice taking on a concerned tone.

“Yeah, just beat up. Should be at healed up in two weeks” you say, sitting up.

“Here, I brought these from Emily’s house” she said, tossing a long sleeve, pants, socks, undergarments and shoes onto the bed.

After you changed and signed the discharge papers, you and Leah headed back to Emily’s place.

“What a bitch,” Leah said with disgust as she climbed the steps.

“I know, I still can’t believe I’m related to her” you say shaking your head.

Leah opened the front door and you hear “Surprise!” as you walk through. Everyone but Collin, Brady, Quill and Paul were there for your second homecoming.

Jake ran up to hug you, but Leah stepped in front of him.

“You wanna rip her stitches dumbass?” she said like a mother correcting her child.

“Oh shut it Leah” Jacob said, but gave you a much gentler hug than he originally intended.

“How are you?” Jake asked.

“Well I think I might fall over and die if one more person asks how I am” you say laughing. You stop as a stabbing pain shoots from your abdomen.

Sam, Emily and Seth hug you as well before you finally make it to the couch to sit down.

“What happened?” Embry asked taking a seat next to you with Leah on the other side.

“I was driving back here and I looked down at my phone for barely a second and when I looked back up there was a man in the road” you said.

“Well you know what they say about texting and driving” Seth said but the joke fell flat as no one laughed.

“What did the man look like?” Jake asked in a serious tone.

“Pale I guess, black hair, I’m not really sure. Why?” you asked, confused.

“No reason, just wondering” he said looking over to Sam who was sitting on a stool by the counter talking to Emily.

“Do you know who pulled me out?” you asked Jacob.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Dr.Cullen said one of our friends pulled me out of the car before it caught fire”

“Oh, uh, Paul did” he said.

Paul. Of all of your friends you had thought it might have been, that was the absolute last person you’d think would save you. If anything he’d probably be the one to toss you right into the flames.

“Oh” was all you said.

The front door opened and in walked Quill and Paul.

“Well I’ve gotta get back to..work” Jacob said standing up.

“Me too” said Seth as he followed Jacob to the door.

“Heal up Y/n!” Jacob yelled over his should and he and Seth left.

Quill came over and sat where Seth had just been and gave you a hug and Paul went straight to Sam without even acknowledging you.

Not like it mattered anyway.

“How are y-“ Quill started.

“Fine” you cut him off.

Through the rest of the day, people started to leave one by one as they had work, school or other things to get to. Eventually Paul said his goodbyes to Sam and Emily and began walking out the door, again without saying a word to you.

You got up as quickly as you could without hurting yourself and momentarily excused yourself from your board game that you were beating Embry in. You walked out the door just as Paul was off the steps.

“Hey!” you called to him.

Paul stopped and slowly turned back to you.

“What?” he asked rudely, not fully meeting your gaze.

Instead of responding with the same attitude, you walked down some of the steps.

“I just wanted to say thank you. Jacob told me what you did” you said gently.

“It wasn’t exactly like there was a choice in the matter” he spat.

“Could you just not be a complete asshole for once in your life? I’m trying to thank you for saving my life” you said, anger getting the best of you.

“Well it would have saved me a world of trouble had I not” he said.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” you ask, raising your voice.

“Nothing. I-I can’t do this right now, I won’t do this right now” he said, voice equal to yours now.

“No, come on Paul, let it out. Say what you need to say!”

Paul started shaking with anger and as much as you knew you should stop, your anger wouldn’t let you.

“Say. It.” you seethed.

“Paul!” you heard as the front door swung open.

You turned around to see Quill come running down and barreling into Paul, pushing him away from you. Sam came running out too.

“Get him out of here!” Sam yelled.

Quill grabbed Paul and pulled him out into the woods.

“What the hell?” you asked

“Get inside Y/n!” Sam yelled.

“You don’t tell me what to do” you said angrily

“Get. Inside. Now.” he said sternly.

You scoffed but turned on your heal and went inside and upstairs, waking right passed Emily and ignoring her as she called out to you.

Who did they think they were, telling you to get inside. Paul always had anger problems, this wasn’t anything new.

You hate him.

“Well it would have saved me a world of trouble had I not” replayed again and again in your head. You hated him for making you feel less than, for making you feel worthless.

Him saving you meant nothing. He was a dick to you your entire life and you didn’t care that Sam asked you to lighten up on him. No one bit.

As you laid down to sleep, not even bothering to take off your clothes or change, you wiped the single tear that escaped. You hated him and always would.

//////////////

You were walking through the woods to get to your favorite spot again. It was the middle of the night, but Jacob asked to meet you there. The moonlight shown through the thick trees, illuminating your path.

Everything was so green and beautiful, you missed being home.

You walked a little farther when your foot hit something, stopping you in your tracks. You looked down to see a rock jutting up from the ground. It was the same one you fell on the other day. It still had blood on it, fresh and bright and not at all dried. That wasn’t right. You fell days ago, it should be dried or the rain should have washed it off.

*Snap*

You spun around. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, that same feeling of being watched returning. You shouldn’t be out here. Emily warned you.

You scanned your surroundings, but it was too dark. What happened to the moonlight? You squinted your eyes and saw him-it.

The man from the road, eyes blood red, skin pale as snow, hair dark as the night around him. He cocked his head to the side, watching you.

Where did he come from? Had he been watching you the whole time? Was he in the woods that first day?

You could try to outrun him, you didn’t know how far into the woods you were, you didn’t even remember how you got here. You went to take a step back but he was in front of you instantly and attacked, grabbing your arm.

You jolted upright, breathing heavily. You looked around. You were in your room, at Sam and Emily’s. You were safe. You ran your fingers through your hair as you looked out the window. It was the middle of the night.

There were things that weren’t adding up. Everyone has been acting weird, telling you to avoid the woods, saying that whatever has been attacking people isn’t animal or human, the man in the road, even Paul’s behavior has been worse than normal…something wasn’t right, you could feel it in your gut.

You knew what they told you, the warnings, but with everything that happened with Paul and your mom, you didn’t care anymore. You were gonna find out what was going on, no matter what.

_______________________________________________

A/N: hey guys! i hope you enjoyed this chapter! lots of stuff happened and i swear we’re gonna get more paulxreader interactions from now on. love you all❤️❤️

@that-animebitch @fangirlanotherjust @justdidabadthing @scuzmunkie @ccosmic-illusion

@xthefuckerysquaredx @destroyed-and-damned @classyunknownlover @hglyu @blackloveangel13

@champagnesugamama @bshelley322

#paul lahote x reader #paul lahote imagine #paul lahote #twilight saga #twilight #new moon #twilight: new moon #paul lahote could kill me and i’d literally say thank you

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clean-bands-dirty-stories · 3 years

Text

In Your Arms ~J.M.

A/n: This wasn’t a request that inspired me to write a lot, so I didn’t, but I hope y’all enjoy this sweet little short! It’s been in my drafts way too long and I want to get more of these done so I can get to recent requests :)

Request: “...jack Morton x male reader where the reader is human of the pack and he always sleeps on the couch until the pack comes home. Jack thinks it’s adorable and carries him to his room and maybe they have a sleep talking conversation like reader:“no I have to wait for jack.” Jack:”why” reader:”because I like him”...”

Word Count: 1800+

MASTERLIST

Listen, being a werewolf in a human world is hard enough especially when it comes with a whole new world of secret societies and magic and literal demons and magic and endless rules that you have to learn and oh did I mention ACTUAL MAGIC?

It is exponentially harder when you make things worse by shoving a human into that world.

Y/n didn't have a werewolf ability to defend himself, or heal him when he got hurt. He didn't have magic... which you know thinking about it now, might be a good thing. He'd rather be useless than be part of the Order.

That was the problem though, wasn't it? He had chosen to be useless. That's what he was now.

I mean sure, he'd read the books Jack had given him enough times to memorize them, and he was getting used to playing doctor. He was also getting really good at helping in small ways. Helping Hamish grade papers, or doing one night of homework for Lilith, or passing some messages around when Randall forgot because he was busy with supernatural stuff. He was great to talk or rant to, and all of the Knights had been utilizing the very nice ability to go off to someone who actually listens. Sure, he had fallen into a habit of taking notes for the Knights in the classes he had with each of them, if they missed. But... that was just school stuff. Sure it took off a lot of the pressure in the long run (a lot more than he probably even realized), but if they died what the fuck did school mater?

When Jack almost died after the whole meltdown with Silverback a while ago, it had really pushed Y/n into gear. He was a lot faster at responding to things; a lot more eager to help; and above all, the single most annoying person ever when it came to asking about going along to showdowns to play backup.

The others simply refused again and again, and, again and again, he would end up sitting in an empty room as he pretended to focus on whatever task he had given himself to kill time before the worry got to him and he just curled up on the couch ad stared at the ceiling. Worry ate him alive for several hours, and then he'd fall asleep. Most of the time because things always went far later than intended, but also sometimes because between being a student, having a job, scrambling to cover for your friends too, and spending several hours emotionally exhausting yourself with unimaginably high stress levels, one simply passes out.

As Y/n's falling asleep became more and more of a habit, things started to get complicated. Because the thing was, he always fell asleep waiting, so he would be in the Den's living room, uncomfortably scrunched on the couch. They'd left him there a few times and he always woke up sore and aching. They'd tried to wake him up a few times and, half delirious, he had overly emotional reactions. After he had broken down into tears at how happy he was to see all of them alive and then been so embarrassed he hadn't talked for three hours the next day in pure shame, they had decided against the waking him up method. Which only left one option: one of them carried him to bed.

Lilith had tried, but the size difference between her and Y/n was big enough that it was jst awkward for her. She was small (even though she'd never admit it). She's end up waking him up, or dropping him, and that was the last thing they wanted.

Hamish had also tried, but he was really awkward and didn't know how to let Y/n get comfortable in his arms while walking around so that he wouldn't wake up, so Y/n often would. Then it would be super awkward as they just stared at each other. Their relationship was too brotherly and rigid to make room for touching it seemed.

Of course Randall had given it a try, and he was actually fairly good at it, but as much as he was big enough to actually carry Y/n, and at ease enough to let Y/n stay asleep, he wasn't good at maneuvering, which often left him pinned under Y/n when he actually put the sleeping boy to bed. Which lead to a lot of them cuddling. Which, while that was chill and platonic and fun and stuff, made Jack super jealous.

Oh yeah, Jack had a HUGE crush on Y/n, so it only felt right that eventually everyone left it up to Jack to take Y/n to bed. He could pick Y/n up, carry him to bed, and put him in an actual bed without any problem. Y/n didn't know this was happening. He had gotten used to everyone taking turns carrying him to bed, and they hadn't said anything so he assumed they'd just gotten better at it.

That's probably why on one particular night, he didn't simply assume that he was talking to Jack when he was picked up and began to be carried to bed.

That night was different, because Jack and Y/n had plans to study. Jack had an important test the next day and he and Y/n had the class in common, so Y/n had volunteered to stay up a little later to go through what Jack had missed. It had gotten derailed when Jack had been called away for Knight business, but Y/n had only written it off and told Jack that he'd still be there when it was over and they could continue if Jack was up for it. Unfortunately, it was one of the really time consuming ones, and Jack didn't get back until well into the night.

Dutifully, Y/n was asleep on the couch. His face was contorted oddly. Even asleep, the couch was uncomfortable enough to leave him with a permanent frown, even if it was soft since he was asleep. Jack wasn't surprised though - the couch was so small it barely fit two people on a good day, so sleeping on it was not a fun time.

Considering all of that, Jack thought it incredibly adorable that Y/n found a way to fall asleep on it anyway. They had told him a hundred times to just go to sleep in his bed, but he had refused time and time again. He had insisted that he needed to be as accessible as possible if nything went wrong. If they needed him, he had to be close. He insisted that it was best to be on the couch, and had sworn that he was trying to get into the habit of not falling asleep. But he always did, and he always ended up in the exact same situation. Not that Jack minded. It gave him a prime moment to hold his crush.

He scooped Y/n up now, smiling as the sleepy boy's head fell on Jack's chest. He sucked in a small breath but then settled. Jack chuckled to himself as Y/n pressed his nose into Jack's shirt, burying his face to get closer to the closest source of warmth since he didn't have a blanket. Jack began to carrying him to the stairs to head upstairs, but was stopped when Y/n's foot caught just a second on the doorframe. See, earlier Jack had hurt his arm. Due to werewolf healing it was almost fine, but it was still quite sore, and the tug on his shoulder when Y/n's ankle caught on the wall, forcing his leg into Jack's shoulder... Well it wasn't a big enough pain to make him drop Y/n or shout or anything, but it was enough to startle Y/n just a little bit awake.

"Wh- what?" Y/n mumbled, blinking heavy eyelids as he tried to look around. Jack winced, feeling guilt rise. "What happened? What did I miss?" His words were slurred, and it was obvious that he was barely conscious.

"Nothing," Jack reassured, hoping Y/n would just go back to sleep. If he knew Jack was there he would insist on staying up and helping. It would be nice and much appreciated - since Jack really did need help - but more than Jack needed help, Y/n needed sleep. He had been crashing on the couch for a reason; he was exhausted.

So Jack immediately rushed to soothe, "Nothing happened, just hit your foot on the wall by accident. Go back to sleep."

Y/n huffed, a whine in his voice when he argued, "No put me back." Jack tried to swallow a smile. It was adorable seeing a sleepy, whiny Y/n and that on top of his sleepy voice that was low and grumbly and kept cracking and having the boy in his arms, Jack was having a hard time not feeling a bit giddy.

He tried to keep his head on a little longer though. He needed to get Y/n to bed. "And why do you NEED to go to bed?" He teased lightly.

"I have to wait for Jack," Y/n mumbled, trying to blink the sleep out of his eyes. "We have plans."

Jack's smile turned warm. He thought about telling he who he was, but if he did then he'd NEVER get Y/n to sleep, so he decided to lean into the misconception that he was no in fact himself. "Jack will understand. It's late, you need to sleep."

"No," Y/n insisted with a firmer voice. He tried to struggle, but it was genuinely so pathetic that only a few seconds later he was still.

It made Jack wonder what Y/n was so desperate for though. "Why not?"

"He has a test tomorrow," Y/n explained with a soft irritation. "He needs help."

"You don't have to help him," Jack reminded softly, feeling suddenly guilty for some reason. Had he made Y/n feel obligated to help him?

"No I don't," Y/m agreed. "But I want to."

"Want to what?" Jack joked. "Stay away with a loser like him and lose sleep you need?" He had reached the top of the stairs now, and was headed to Y/n's door.

Y/n just rolled his eyes. "He's not a loser, but he does need help, and I can sacrifice a little sleep to help him with something he really needs. Making small sacrifices liek that is just what you do when you love someone."

Jack froze. WHAT?

When it was quiet for a long stretch of time, Y/n finally succumbed to the tiredness and his soft snores vibrated against Jack's chest. He cleared his throat and shook his head, opening the door and putting Y/n to bed. When he left the room, closing the door behind him, he came out with the biggest fucking grin he had ever worn.

Y/n like him back.

They had a lot to talk about tomorrow, and none of it had anything to do with a stupid test Jack no longer remembered. Because he loved Y/n too, and that's all he could think about right now.

Sorry Miss Styne.

#jack morton #the order #knights of saint christopher imagine #knights of saint christopher x reader #the knights of saint christopher #knights of saint christopher x male reader #the order x male reader #the order imagine #the order x reader #jack morton x male reader #jack morton x reader #jack morton imagine #male reader #the order of the hermedic blue rose

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jean-kayak · 3 years

Text

Chapter 2

Summary: A relaxing summer after your second year of college sounds nice, until someone comes back and makes it anything but

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x black!fem!reader

Warnings: Eren being a HUGE fucking tease

Word Count: 1851

A/N: This is lowkey a filler chapter, kinda just something that advances the story, and heightens the tension. And I decided to start to posting on Tuesdays and Fridays bc this series is mad long lmao

Tags: @her-majesty-kiara, @germfart3, @styxtm, @iwascrybaby, @snkpaths, @prxttyguardian

Chapter Summary: You’re falling deeper and deeper into his spell

Your plans haven't been completely thwarted, you've hung out at Jean's house and haven't seen Eren since, so you feel a little bit better. You're at your house this time, the fans blowing on you as you both lay on the floor.

"Remind me why I keep letting you take me outside," you groan, the fans barely working to cool you down.

"Because you love me," he returns, and you shake your head as you roll over onto your back.

"No, that can't be it," you tease, squealing lightly when a pillow comes flying your way, putting your arms up to shield your face. You hear the front door open, but you don't move, letting your head rest against the cool wooden floor.

"Oh, no, the kids are dead," your mom jokes, and you and Jean both chuckle as you turn your head to look at her. "Sweetie, do you think you could help me with something outside real quick?"

You whine as you scrunch your nose. "But, Mom, it's hot," you complain, and she rolls her eyes before waving you off.

"Girl, come on, it won't take long." You groan but slowly start to get up anyway.

"Ha ha," you hear Jean laugh like a little kid, and you chuck the pillow at him as you scowl at him. You whine again when you feel the heat pounding at your skin, and you follow your mom towards one of her flower beds.

"Uh, Mom, those plants aren't going to survive," you tell her, feeling the humid air suffocating you as you wave a hand in front of your face in vain.

She laughs lightly before wiping her forehead, and she digs another hole. "They'll be fine, it's gonna get cooler." You raise your eyebrows at her words as you wait for her to tell you what to do. "I'm almost out of dirt, so I need you to get some from the garage."

You sigh heavily, but turn around anyway and make your way towards the garage. You grimace when the place is way hotter than the outside, and you look for the dirt and sighing when you find it, realizing you have to lift it. You squat down to pick it up, situating it until your arms are wrapped around it with it firmly placed against your chest.

As you walk out of the garage, you look to your left, and you instantly regret it. You don't even realize you've stopped in your tracks as your eyes land on Eren who's working on his truck. He looks up and makes eye contact with you, an easy smirk appearing across his face.

Before you can blink or do anything, he standing upright, slipping his t-shirt off quickly, shoving it in his back pocket before fixing his hair. You bite your lip to stop yourself from drooling which you know you were doing, and even from where you're standing, you can see his chiseled abs and defined back muscles shining in the sun rays with sweat, and he moves back to working on his car, his biceps flexing with every movement.

"Y/N!" You jump when you hear your name, expecting it to be your mom when you look around for the source, but you smile when you see Ymir walking up your driveway.

"Ymir, hey, how are you?" you ask, adjusting the bag of dirt in your arms that's slipping from the amount of sweat on your arms.

"Glad that school is over," she answers, stopping when she gets to you, and you scoff in agreement.

"I know that's right." She laughs with you before turning to where you were looking not too long ago.

"Holy shit, is that Eren Jaeger?" she asks in disbelief, and you smack her with the bag.

"Shut up! He can probably hear you," you scold, and you glance at him. "And yeah, it is."

"I thought he couldn't get any hotter," she comments, and you nod your head as you silently agree with her. "But he's not really my type," she finishes with a shrug, and you chuckle as you turn towards her.

"Yes, we know. Your type is Historia." You laugh again when she shoves at you before you both turn to walk back towards your mom.

You both hit it off pretty quickly when you met, and she was always someone you hung out with whenever Jean wasn't free. Even though you would trust her with your life, you never breathed a word to her about any of your interactions with Eren. Whenever she would ask, you'd give her meaningless or one-sentence answers. Jean finding out what happened back then was enough embarrassment for you.

"How ya doing, Mrs. L/N," Ymir greets, and your mom turns around, standing up quickly in surprise.

"Ymir, oh wow, it's been a while hasn't it?" she asks, resting her hands on her hips.

"It has, it's good to see you," she tells her, and your mom returns it, and Ymir asks what she's doing.

"Planting in the scorching heat of summer," you answer, and your mom rolls her eyes at you. "And now she's got me out here in the heat." She chuckles as she grabs the bag from you, and you wince when you feel how sore your muscles are from holding the dirt when you let them fall to your sides. "Why are you planting anyway?"

"Your father and I made a bet. He doesn't think that I'll be able to grow them," she explains as she gets back down on the ground to open the bag of dirt.

"Can Dad even keep plants alive?"

"You know, I asked him the same thing." You all share a laugh before you and Ymir head inside. Jean's still laying on the floor, but this time his head is turned as he scrolls through his phone. You hear them start talking as you go to get something to drink for you and Ymir.

You walk back into the living room, handing it to her as you find your original place on the floor, and the three of you catch up on what's happened over the course of your freshman and sophomore year, most of the conversation consisting of teasing Jean. You hear the door open, and your mom's complaining about the heat, but what she says after that makes you shoot your head up.

"Come on in, Eren, you've been out there for a while, you're always welcome."

"Thank you so much, Mrs. L/N." You sit up quickly, your eyes landing on a shirtless Eren standing in your foyer, shorts hanging so low on his hips that you're sure it should be a crime as he smirks at you.

"Y/N, why don't you get him some water while I got wash up?" You sit there for a second, dumbfounded before you move, not wanting to raise suspicion as your mom walks out of sight.

"And I still have to see you even when I'm not at home," Jean groans when you stand.

"Love you, too, bro," Eren jokes before following behind you. You open the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water, and tossing it to him without looking at him. You hear snippets of the conversation between Ymir and Jean, thankful that they're not listening. "Thanks," he tells you, and you trail your eyes up his body, meeting that stupid smirk on his face as he screws the cap off.

He never takes his eyes off of yours, and you watch his Adam's apple bob, some of the water dripping down his face before you snap out of it. "You're, uh, welcome."

He smiles at you when he finishes the whole thing and tossing it into the recycling bin. "I really appreciate it," he says, walking towards you until your back hits the fridge, the cooling sensation not the only thing that causes you to shudder.

"It was no problem. Seriously." You want to push him back, but that would mean you would have to touch him, and every part of his torso is nothing but muscle, and you try to keep your gaze on his face and not his glistening skin.

"I feel like I should pay you back somehow," he starts, his voice dangerously low, and you grip the handles as you shrug.

"You don't have to do that. It's just water," you respond weakly, and he rests a hand flat against the fridge next to your head.

"But I want to," he pushes, and you shrug again as you try to find anything else to look at.

"What did you have in mind?" Your mind isn't even on the right track anymore, Eren is the only thing filling your senses.

He steps closer to you, letting his hand fall, his finger tracing down your arm, leaving goosebumps in its path. "I've got a lot in mind."

"L-Like what?" You shouldn't be pushing him, you should be leaving, but he always manages to keep you frozen in place.

"For starters," he says, gripping your hip softly. "I'd pin you down and mark every inch of your skin so that everyone knows that you're mine."

You feel your head spinning, the dizzying feeling nearly making your legs go weak, and when he trails a finger up your neck, you look over his shoulder finding a spot on the wall to try and ground yourself. "Then what?"

He huffs softly as he grips your chin, making you look at him, and you don't fight it. "Then," he starts, leaning in closer. "I'd fuck you until you couldn't walk. Until the only thing that comes out of your mouth is my name."

Your eyes shut for a quick second as you bite your lip to muffle your whimper. "Just for a bottle of water?" you try to joke, but now you're breathing heavy, and the playful tone is overshadowed by lust, your core throbbing almost to the point of painful.

He tilts his head as he smirks at you. "Say it."

Your face scrunches slightly in confusion, but your voice is still wavering. "Say what?"

His response is a chuckle as he's backing away from you, and you grip the handles of the fridge until it hurts to keep yourself from pulling him back to you. "You'll say it eventually."

You don't really know what he's talking about, but he backs away from you to create enough distance that isn't questioning just as your mom comes into the kitchen. "Did you get him the water?" she asks, and you try to nod, but your brain is still foggy so it looks like you're malfunctioning, which you basically are.

"She did. Thanks again," he tells you, flashing that smile that he always put on around your parents. "I think I'm gonna get back to work, but it was nice talking to you."

"You as well." He gives you one last look before he's walking out, and you drop your head as you try to make your breathing even again. "He's just such a gentleman, isn't he?"

"Yeah, he sure is."

|Chapter 1|Masterlist|Chapter 3|

Taglist: CLOSED

#nothing changed #eren jaeger #eren yeager #eren jaeger x black!reader #eren yaeger #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction

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backtothestart02 · 3 years

Text

Lust and Love at Seventeen - 1/? | westallen fanfiction

A/N: New fic time! I think you guys will like this one. I really, really do. ;)

...

Synopsis: HS!AU - Iris is about to date the most popular boy in school. There’s only one problem. She has no experience. What she does have is her best friend, Barry Allen, who she can practice on so she doesn’t embarrass herself. Problem solved. Right?

...

Chapter 1 -

Stacy’s car slowed as the opening to the driveway appeared. Music could be heard not far away, so loud that Barry swore the ground almost shook. With dread in his eyes and his heart, he risked the inevitable and looked out the window to his doom.

The big house at the top of the hill had been a source of loathing for Barry for the past three years. Self-loathing mainly, at how he allowed himself to be dragged there twice a month, sometimes more than that in the summer. But also, he loathed Bradley Baker, the most popular kid in the senior class, who lived in that house and had Iris West, his live-in best friend and love of his life, permanently starstruck.

He’d bumped into her accidentally at the beginning of freshman year and apologized verbally then, and also by presenting her with a paper flower at the end of the day. A gesture that had stayed ingrained in Iris’ memory ever since that day. He hardly spoke to her after the incident, but Iris maintained that he smiled at her in the hallway, and to him she was always ‘the girl I gave the paper flower to’, no matter how many times Iris informed him of her actual name.

Not that she minded, of course. She had a special name from him. A little long-winded, if you asked Barry, but he’d stopped reminding her of that fact. She didn’t care. She was blind with infatuation. Everything was Bradley, Bradley, Bradley, and if anything could get her in his sights for a second longer than a glimpse in the hallway, she was sure to do it and bring Barry with her so she didn’t look idiotic by herself if her plan were to backfire. Which it often did.

Two is better than one, they say.

Tonight’s diabolical plan was to go to the big party at Bradley’s house, which wasn’t all that diabolical since he’d invited the entire school – and could afford to, given how huge the house was, and that was dad was practically a millionaire. Barry and Iris got their ride from Stacy, since she’d just gotten her driver’s license and was eager to get out on the road.

The second Iris had informed him of this, he’d started to connect the dots and come to the unfortunate conclusion that he’d be spending the night with the Baker’s dog in the foyer while everyone else partied in the house and backyard.

Stacy was Iris’ other best friend. They were in cheerleading together. Thankfully there was no rivalry over Bradley. Stacy wanted to be with Justin Clarke, Bradley’s best friend and fellow football player. The girls had been fantasizing about the double dates they would have ever since the paper flower incident. Barry had ceased repressing his eyes rolling whenever it was brought up and he was in the vicinity.

“Barry!” An annoyed Iris called to him, snapping her fingers in his face.

Reluctantly, he blinked and focused in on what she was saying with furrowed brows.

“You coming or what?”

He sighed. Did he have a choice?

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” he said and climbed out of the car, careful not to bump his head sitting on top of his tall, lanky body.

He didn’t know what the point was in him being here when Iris had Stacy too, who was obviously more invested and supportive of the whole Bradley thing, but he’d given up arguing about it with Iris. He didn’t like to fight with her anyways, and they rarely did, so he’d decided to put this issue to bed. He vented with Joe on occasion – Iris’ dad – but he had to be careful what he said so he didn’t accidentally spill how many times they’d snuck back into the house after curfew for a party Iris just had to be at and drag him to.

So most of the time he kept his troubles to himself and actually ended up starting a journal to release his frustrations. That and conduct science experiments that periodically did damage to the roof of the garage in which he had them set up.

He could still hear Joe’s angry voice calling his name from the last explosion-level event that had gotten him grounded. To be fair, Barry had walked in on Iris kissing her mirror pretending it was Bradley and hadn’t been able to get the image out of his head. It both irritated and aroused him, and that was problematic all on its own.

“Barry!”

Barry looked up at the cooing voice he knew all too well. He plastered on a genuine smile. The only person that understood him through and through in this house had just walked back into his line of view.

“Hi, Mrs. Baker.”

“I haven’t seen you in a while. Care for some cookies?”

She pulled out a tray of cookies fresh from the oven, chocolate chip, his favorite. The scent was heavenly.

“Aren’t they for the party?” he asked, trying not to drool.

“They just came out of the oven. I thought I’d offer one to who was at the door next before putting them with the other snacks.”

Barry looked around briefly to see if he could catch Iris’ eye, but all he saw was the flip of her ponytail as she headed into the backyard with Stacy. He sighed.

Mrs. Baker frowned.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

“Hmm?” Barry looked back at her. “Oh, yeah. Just dandy.” He grabbed a cookie and stuffed it into his mouth. “Mmm.”

Her eyes sparkled in amusement.

“Here, come sit with me in the kitchen before you join the others. I know someone who’s been missing you.”

Barry finished his cookie and grinned. His eyes lit up as he followed her into the other room. A little brown and black dog came running to greet him and nearly jumped into his arms.

“Pepper!”

He pet the dog eagerly licking at his face and smiled wider.

“Oh, wow, someone has missed me!”

Mrs. Baker laughed warmly.

“Told you.”

Barry lifted the dog up into his arms and held her close, swaying back and forth a little. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head before she quickly turned and got a swipe of his cheek with her tongue.

“You can stay with us if you want to.”

Barry lifted his head and set the dog back down.

“Huh?”

“I mean, if you didn’t want to join your friends.”

He flushed a bright red.

“Uhh…”

“I just noticed how you tend to end up back inside before the night is out.”

“Oh.”

“Only if you want to, of course. You can go wherever you like while you’re here.”

Barry forced a smile this time.

“Thanks. I think I should at least try to give the party a go. I’ll be back if it sucks.” He stopped, paling instantly. “I mean-”

She laughed good-naturedly.

“It’s quite alright, Barry. We’ll be here if you need us.”

He nodded and headed into the backyard just in time to see Bradley Baker slow dancing with his girl.

Abruptly, he turned back around and headed into the kitchen.

“You’re back!” Mrs. Baker said, then sobered immediately. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I just uh…I think I’ll take you up on that offer.”

She offered a small smile.

“I have a scrabble board. Interested?”

He sighed in relief, putting the image of Iris in Bradley’s arms out of his mind.

“Like you wouldn’t believe.”

…

It was after midnight by the time Iris West ended up back home. Stacy, having seen the exciting position her best friend had gotten herself into, left the party early with Barry in tow and dropped him off half a block from the West house, so he could sneak back in with Mr. West none the wiser.

Iris hadn’t wanted to leave, but as the party dwindled and she found herself without a ride home, Bradley volunteered to take her.

Her heart beating rapidly in her chest, she didn’t hesitate to say yes.

Now, the car having slowed right in front of her house, she turned to look at the boy who had stolen her heart.

“Thanks for the ride,” she said, then looked down at her hand that he was holding between them. “And everything else.”

“Of course,” he said, intertwining their fingers.

Iris licked her lips.

“I can’t wait until your next party,” she said with stars in her eyes.

“How about tomorrow night?”

Her heart nearly stopped.

“Huh?”

“Iris West, will you go out with me?”

Frozen to the spot, Iris briefly lost the ability to speak.

“Iris?” A smirk tugged at his lips as he ran his thumb over her hand.

“Yes!” she said, almost leaping into his arms but keeping herself in check. “Yes, yes, yes.” She laughed, happy tears in her eyes.

He laughed.

“Can I have your number?”

She swallowed and pulled out her phone, so she could put his contact in too.

“Uh-huh.”

Quickly they exchanged numbers, and then he started to lean in.

She held in her breath, hardly daring to believe what was happening. She was not ready for a kiss. She could barely handle hand-holding and a ride home and slow-dancing. Oh, my God, what a magical night it had been… It had been…perfect.

Luckily for her sanity, Bradley pressed a kiss to the side of her face before pulling back with a knowing smile.

“I’ll save the real thing for tomorrow night.” He winked. “Goodnight, Iris.”

She swallowed, forcing herself to move.

“G-Goodnight, Bradley.”

As gracefully as she could, she got out of the car and shut it behind her. He waved and took off. Slowly she made her way to the side of the house, quietly climbing into her bedroom window and shutting it once inside.

She slipped out of her shoes and party clothes, transitioning easily into her pajamas for the night. Then she laid down in her bed, put her pillow over her mouth tightly and screamed into it as she moved her legs excitedly under the covers.

Bradley Baker just asked her out on a date!

Two rooms away down the hall, Barry’s eyes had opened when he heard Iris climbing up the side of the house. Now all was still, but he heard the muffled scream as clearly as if she had been right next to him, and knew a feeling of dread.

Stacy’s all-knowing look as she dropped him off paired with her sympathetic apology rung in his head.

“I’m sorry, Barry.” I know how much you like her went unsaid.

He closed his eyes again now and turned over, trying in vain to get back to sleep.

The image of Iris in Bradley’s arms haunted him even in his sleep. It would be a long night.

...

*will post on AO3 and FFnet when beta’d.

#westallen #fanfiction #westallen fanfiction #backtothestart02 fanfiction #lust and love at seventeen #chapter 1

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lexpressobean · 3 years

Text

Parent/Teacher Night: Ch 2, Remember When

In which Shino recalls some thens and compares them to the nows, and gets inspired to change some things with Kiba's encouragement.

*Modern AU, Swearing

**You can find this on AO3 now too, along with the first chapter. Let's gooooooooo!!!

•••

"He asked to trade numbers?" Kiba repeated, pausing all motion, chopsticks mid snatch for a gyoza.

"Yes. Is that... Weird?"

"Well, no."

Kiba reached over and chose his specimen, a plump piece just asking to be dipped. Shino continued eat his steamed rice. It was okay if Kiba wanted the last of the gyoza. Shino thought he might enjoy a serving of the restaurant's ice-cream after he finished his meat instead.

"But even I don't have Shikamaru's number. Least not his current one."

"You don't?"

"Nah," Kiba took in the gyoza whole and spoke as he chewed, "but ah neber bothered doo update it, I hab 'im on my socials anyway."

"Oh."

He swallowed, "But you didn't even have any kind of social media until later in college. You were late to the game!"

"I didn't see the point then..."

"And that's fine. He probably doesn't even know you have them now. But you know he's been pretty absent from social media too. Figures."

"According to Ino, he's been back in town since April."

"Well of course Ino would know, she's always been in everyone else's business. Especially Shikamaru's, and Choji's too!"

Shino silently made a face, distorting the corner of his mouth as if reluctant to agree, but Kiba barked out a laugh when he caught him.

"It's true though, isn't it!? You would know, Shino!"

Shino didn't plan to be seen, but oh well, "I think it's just her way of showing she cares. Those three are practically family, aren't they?"

Kiba sighed and rolled his eyes, "Listen, dude, just cause you 'dated' her for a couple of years back in college doesn't mean you have to be nice after the fact. It's okay! She has her manipulative bitchy side too. How else could she make it as a therapist."

"Psychiatrist."

"That."

Kiba emphasized the word "dated" in such a way that caused Shino to scowl. Geez, if Ino didn't insist on sharing pictures online...

"Don't invalidate my opinions just because you think they're biased, Kiba. Also, people grow from high school, don't be stuck in the past either."

"I'm not saying it's invalid, geez, but ever since you've always been soft on her..."

"Jealous?"

Kiba immediately threw a dirtied, crumpled up napkin at Shino's head as he blew raspberries in disbelief. Of course Shino dodged it.

"And that!" Kiba almost yelled, though he had a huge smile on his face, "You're sass meter has been off the charts since then!"

"I thought I was just asking a question," Shino simply replied, though he smiled too.

"Fucking jerk," he crossed his arms and closed his eyes, sighing dreamily, "Why would I be jealous when I'm with Tamaki now?"

Shino suppressed the urge to crinkle up his nose, "I remember back in high schoo-"

"THAT WAS HIGH SCHOOL!!" Kiba interrupted, not upset but voice almost breaking in both embarrassment and amusement simultaneously, "Now who's the one stuck in the past!"

"Well anyway, I was just curious if you had heard from him recently, because this was the first time I had seen him since he was an undergrad. That was a while ago."

"Same here, bud. But then here's a thought, if he's just working these days, and he's giving out his number to old friends, maybe we should all get together sometime! So why don't you also friend him on socials while you're at it?"

Shino paused and considered the suggestion.

Shino could do that. Actually, Shino could have done so a long time ago if he had wanted to. But for all the times he had seen Shikamaru's obvious username and cloud icon, he never sent friend request himself. He created his socials for the sole purpose of studygroup based messaging and had planned to delete his social media after school ended for good. But two months in and Kiba somehow found him, and then shortly after Hinata did too. Then Naruto also found Shino and from there he actually aquired a few more friend requests, including from Lee and Sai. Even Ino sent him a friend request, though Ino and Shino had actually attended the same University in the beginning. And then she called him out on it the next time she saw him in person, because how could Shino friend nearly all their mutuals and NOT Ino? He even friended Sakura before Ino! Though, Shino had a suspicion Sakura's request may had been a result of clumsy typing. Shino definately hadn't meant anything by it, but that started a series of... interesting talks between the two. But all and all, Shino suspected that's why he saw Shikamaru's icon so often, among others he didn't quite recognize himself.

Of course Shino knew he didn't have to accept the requests at all. He could've delete them even. But... it didn't seem right to ignore them either. And maybe it felt... kinda nice being reached out to...

"I mean, shit, maybe I should shoot him a message too..." Kiba mused.

"... I was under the impression it was for Mirai's sake."

Kiba perked up, "Huh?"

"That's because a cellphone number is a personal and direct line. If Mirai is currently under my care as a student, wouldn't it make sense to have multiple contacts in case of an emergency?"

Kiba sighed. Typical Shino, "Did Shikamaru say it was strictly for emergencies only?"

"... No."

"So, Dude, maybe... just maybe, Shikamaru simply isn't aware that you have socials? I know I know... social media is meant to be for socializing, but so are direct lines! Why does a direct line have to be so off limits? You're not a stranger to Shikamaru either, Shino. I mean, if anything, he probably trusts you a lot, knowing the kind of person you've ways been. It's a personal line after all, right?"

Not a stranger, but definitely not the person closest the Shikamaru either... It didn't quite make sense beyond Mirai's safety... but, maybe that was Shino's own opinion...

"... I'm over thinking it again."

"Yup."

"... Maybe I will. I'm already friends with Ino and Choji..."

"Yeah! Just complete the trio! Here let's see..." Kiba took out his phone and started to review something, "... I think the only people you're not friends with besides Shikamaru are... Sasuke, who simply deleted everything at one point, Neji, but he really only followed me because of Hinata," Kiba added wearily, "aaand a lot of... other people... but, like, you're better off that way. I have a lot of those assholes blocked or didn't bother. Even Sasuke had been more better of an option than them!"

"Like who?"

"Like I had to block Shikamaru's psycho ex-girlfriend Tayuya. Fucking nightmare that girl was..."

"Ah... the flute player," Shino wasn't all that to date back in the day either, but even he knew about Tayuya...

"Sure that was YEARS ago, and maybe she's different now? But she was... not okay then. To be fair, Shikamaru wasn't blameless, but cripes... After the break-up she was constantly stalking him online... I've just kept her blocked for good measure, I don't know if she's still even there."

Another reason Shino didn't want social media at the time... It made it too easy to let people in. In all honesty the idea had felt overwhelming, and sometimes still does...

"So you're good there."

"Sasuke, Shikamaru, Neji..."

"... Anyone else?"

"... I think those are the last few people from back then I'd actually tolerate. Shikamaru had been your friend, and Sasuke... wasn't always so aloof before he disappeared... And then Neji is Hinata's cousin..."

"Ha! Perfect! So then why not friend Neji too, just for the hell of it? You two had some kind of bro pact, I do remember that."

"He just worried about Hinata, Kiba. Between you and Naruto, I could see why."

"Sue me Shino, it's not my fault the school was full of cute girls!" Kiba nearly whined, but with a ridiculously dopey smile on his face.

It made Shino think. Shikamaru was one of the only people he more regularly saw who didn't reach out to him. But of course Shikamaru had a problem with a stalker at one point. That would make anyone weary of social media. Kiba had even stated he wasn't on much. Shino couldn't fault him for that.

Sasuke apparently deleted his, but it wasn't like they were the closet to begin with, despite humble beginnings. Shino had his fair share of complaints when it came to Sasuke, but when he transferred to a different school before senior year started, even Shino felt his absence.

And recalling high school, Neji did once ask for Shino's socials before. But it was obviously for the same reason of wanting to keep extra tabs on his little cousin and her "new friends" in Environmental Club. Shino had already explained he didn't have any, and he wasn't sure Neji believed him, but had agreed to be very careful with Hinata, who had started to hang out with he and Kiba more after they returned her book she had left in the club classroom. Shino kept it as Kiba was terribly tempted to take a peek, but once it had been returned, and Kiba expressed his curiosity, Hinata shyly presented them with page after page of pressed flowers, all marked with name, date, and little tidbits of info. She became even more bashful at Kiba's amazement and Shino's praise. It was just very well organized and aesthetically pleasing, something she and Ino would bond over later into their friendships.

So then, it was very surprising to know that such a timid girl had an incredible amount of skill in Martial Arts, but had opted to join Environment Club instead of Martial Arts Club. It was less of a shock to find out she and the school's Number One MAC member were related, first cousins even. They had a strong resemblance to each other.

As for Shino and Neji, their mutual fondness for Hinata became a source of camaraderie at some point. Despite expectations and Neji's sterness, all he really wanted was for Hinata to simply have fun during school, and he very much appreciated Shino looking out for her. So Kiba wasn't wrong. And in current time, Hinata had ultimately decided she was gonna live out of town due to... many reasons, but mainly because of her job as a pastry chef in a very successful and family owned cafe and bakery. Of course cinnamon rolls were her specialty, but Shino's feed always had some of the most delightful pictures of various decorated confections, most made by her too. He wasn't the biggest fan of sweets in general, but he was very fond of her handy work. You could tell she loved her job with every detail.

"Crap! Hey Shino, did you wanna order anything to go?"

"Uh, no. I think that was enough."

"Alright cause it's about time I go meet Tamaki," Kiba grinned, "Here's my part!"

Kiba slammed a twenty dollar bill down onto the table and hurriedly put his jacket back on. When Shino looked at the time it was nearly half past six. Oh, the reservation was made for seven. Maybe he talked too much.

"We might've pushed it, Kiba."

"No way, it's fine! I mean I don't mind going if that's where she wants to go, but you know how fancy places are! I need food Shino, actual food!"

Shino was glad that his friend was putting in so much effort for this girl. It seemed like he really liked her, and she was pretty cute, and also... nice. But when it came to things like this, Shino wasn't sure how long this was really gonna last. But it probably wasn't his place to comment.

"Make sure Akamaru takes his medicine, he'll definitely down it if you give him the peanut butter too."

"Sure, no problem."

"Also, Shino."

"Yes?"

"Seriously, don't be so shy! Just friend them!"

"Stop dawdling, you're gonna be late."

Kiba laughed as he waved and nearly jogged out of the restaurant. After paying and boxing the rest of Kibas plate for later (Shino was sure his idiot friend was gonna be hungry again) Shino headed out to Kiba's apartment. He already had a key, ever since he had come back to town. They had always been close like that, though with these new developments Shino always made it a point to give Kiba space and a heads up.

Akamaru was getting old. This medicine was supposed to help him in his old age, and just as Kiba said, Akamaru took the medication with no problem. Shino also made sure that the bowls were full of water and food. Because there was now also Akemaru, a younger dog of the same breed that Kiba had come across one day at the shelter. After only a few weeks and no adoptions, Kiba couldn't resist and ended up adopting him, and he and Akamaru became very close. As a favor to their otherwise absent owner, Shino got the younger and more energetic dog ready for a walk. When Shino offered to take Akamaru, the old boy wagged his tail and came to lick Shino's hand, but then retreated back to his bed and laid down. Looks like that was gonna be a pass, but he was thankful for the offer.

...

Shit.

Okay. Okay, that was it. Actually, this was perfect. Before Shino really started the walk, he pulled out his phone. He scrolled through he recommended friends list of his most commonly used social and easily found the cloud icon that belonged to Shikamaru. It was the same app he even had people like Kurenai and his father on. Just being able to keep anyone of relevance to his social circles on the same app was fine. It kept them close, but not too close either. Available, but at a distance. The only other people who had Shino's personal line were Kiba, Hinata, Kurenai, his father Shibi, Torune and Neji.

Shino hadn't mentioned that to Kiba, but in reality, they hadn't kept much contact anyway. So Shino hoped Kiba didn't snoop his friends list later, but he decidedly sent Shikamaru a friend request and put his phone away into a pocket. Then after switching out his glasses, as to see better in the evening, he left the apartment and began his walk with Akemaru. This would definitely keep him from getting too anxious about it. Shino didn't really know why he was like this, but it was done and now it was up the Shikamaru if he really wanted to catch up. Not that there was a whole lot to catch up on. He was more Kiba's friend after all, always had been, but Shino was sure Kiba didn't really think about that kind if thing too deeply.

Thankfully there was a park a couple blocks down, which even in the evening looked easy to navigate. The air was fresh and chilly, but tolerable with his coat on. Akemaru was good on a leash, and so Shino was able to keep a steady but not rushed pace. He followed a predetermined path, one Shino was actually familiar with too and so he was able to relax as his body went into coast mode.

...

It was nice. Just focusing on the walk. But Shino couldn't help thinking back to his high school days too. Seeing Shikamaru hadn't really been a shock so much as a surprise. He definitely... grew. His voice was deeper. His hair seemed more or less the same length, but maybe looked longer as now he styled it differently. Instead of the low and rather disheveled ponytail he used to wear, he now kept it only half up it looked like. Shino didn't think it looked bad at all, but with some loose strands in his face and the more casual clothes he had been wearing, Shino really wondered if Shikamaru wasn't more or less dragged last minute to PTN. But maybe he was thinking of the Shikamaru from before. Because this Shikamaru was actually... really approachable. And very kind with his words. Maybe that's what growing up some did to people.

Because the one from before was always annoyed, and grumpy, and quiet unless spoken to, yet Naruto and his shenanigans always put a mischievous smirk on his face. Shino had found him a little intimidating. But it wasn't until Kiba and Naruto decided to drag Shino AND Hinata out to a lunchtime hangout and pretty much threw them into the mix of different friends they shared that Shino met Shikamaru, as well as most everyone else. Shino had recognized Ino, and Ino did too after he mentioned Torune, seeing as Torune and Foo both graduated the year before.

"Torune? Like, short black hair, really thick glasses?"

"He has green eyes too."

"Hey, yeah! You're my cousin's boyfriend's cousin! What a small world!"

It was pretty lame introduction.

"And... you're Ino, right?"

"Wow, Ino, he remembered you!" a pink haired girl chastised.

"Oh, shut up, Forehead, it's not like we ever really hung out before. I think we met, like, once at one of Foo's birthdays?"

"That's true," Shino agreed, "I just went for the drive to drop off his present since that day he couldn't stay. You're mom insisted on giving us goodie bags anyway before we left."

"Ugh, good, our parents always go over the top with the decorations and stuff, believe me!"

"Ino, you are over the top."

"Shikamaru, no one was talking to you!"

"Wait, wait wait, your cousin Foo has a boyfriend?"

"Yeah, what of it," Ino immediately scowled at Kiba.

It made Kiba shut up immediately, but then he turned to Shino and whispered, "Hey, is your cousin gay?"

Shino shrugged, "I didn't ask, but it's none of my business." He was. Shino had known but Torune never outright told him they were officially dating. So as far as he was concerned it was a mystery.

"What about you, Hinata, I don't think we've met before. I'm Sakura."

"Um, hello-"

"Actually! We're in Home Ec together!" another boy munching on chips said, "She made the best cinnamon rolls in class the other day!"

Hinata blushed, "Ah, thank-you, Choji..."

"Cinnoman rolls!? I saw that that roll! Hinata, that was yours!?" Naruto asked, super impressed.

She only blushed even harder, "It might've been...!?"

"It was!" Choji confirmed.

"Naruto stop crowding already!" Sakura scolded, poking him against the side of his forehead, "You can be so loud!"

"Augh, alright, Sakura stop!"

It had actually been a relatively friction free integration. Hinata and the girls got along faster than he would've guessed, and later Shino and Sasuke would meet again, with Naruto giving Shino a suspicious stink-eye.

"We've been in the same classes since elementary school," Shino commented, "You have to really go out of your way to ignore someone for that long..."

"Hn..." As friendly as always...

...

From then on, Kiba always insisted on Shino and Hinata joining them at lunch, which Shino did. But Shino couldn't quite fathom the idea of sacrificing his after school time to go to out and do... well, who even knew? Back then, he had a routine, he had things to tend to back home. His terrariums that his father put him in charge of, his guitar practice because he wasn't about to let those lessons go to waste, his study time, and planning for EC activities as he was a more involved member, he was already a busy guy. At least that's what he used to think. But he would be a sad ass liar if he didn't appreciate the invitations. Towards the end he broke a few time at his father's insistence. He was mentally drained each time, but he did have fun, and Kiba always seemed excited to recall the events with Shino after.

Once he had attended collage, Shino really wished he would have taken more time to simply enjoy a more decent social life with the people he called friends at school outside of school. Was he too shy? Was he too selective? Was he socially inept? It didn't matter now. It wasn't until Shino's very first job that he felt like he got to a level he wished he could've reached sooner. Being a cashier at a fast food chain really taught you how to handle and tolerate people, and definitely brought Shino out if his shell more than he would've ever thought. College in general did a lot for him in that respect.

... Kiba was right. If old friends were reaching out, why couldn't Shino do the same?

Well, apparently the universe was glad he agreed, because the second he did, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

Shino stopped in place and Akemaru whined. When he checked his phone, he saw not only a "Request Accepted" message but also a simple text message as well, also from Shikamaru.

-----

Hey, can you talk? Call me if you can.

-----

Oh what the fuck.

Shino felt his nerves stand at attention with the prospect of a sudden conversation. What... What did Shikamaru even want right now? Did he really want to talk now?

... No. No, dammit, no! Not this time. Shino took a deep breath and continued to walk, much to Akemaru's delight. And as he got a steady rhythm, Shino highlighted Shikamaru's number and pressed "Call".

It was settled. If he was gonna start making up for lost time, it was now or never, awkward interactions be damned!

#anime: naruto #shikashino #aburame shino #shino aburame #shikamaru nara #nara shikamaru #dusk's fanfic #gosh look at me im on a friggin roll wtf #i know it probably has a lot left to be desired technically and diction wise #but im trying!

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mismashedsocks · 4 years

Text

so riordan made a half assed lame excuse on his lazy/racist writing on piper yesterday and on top of that he made another one on samirah and i’m muslim so i am going to talk about it

damn i’m so sorry these people have been pushing you past your comfort zone about your wildly popular racist caricatures of minorities that have great impact on your young, impressionable target audience. while its fine that if he takes a break for his mental health he still needs to deal with these problems you can’t just take a break and hope they go away.

why does he think everyone is bullying him. if they talked in all caps, cussed at you, or didn’t stop bothering you, i’m sorry they’re just trying to get you to realize how racist your books are, which you keep refusing to believe. i can believe that a few of them were doing it for attention, but it couldn’t be the majority. and my god, god forbid people want you to write your books the way you preferred, without racist stereotypes. 🙈

you can set your boundaries but you keep ignoring the people, you don’t listen. like you put yourself out there as a writer you are open to criticism

why does he keep doing this to seem like the good guy. you give excuses and don’t do anything and just say that its up to you, you can think whatever you want 🥰🥰. like its such an obvious excuse not to take any action.

i’m sorry but no matter how many muslims you’ve interacted with you haven’t gotten the full experience and last time i checked teachers aren’t the kids best friends soo uhm. anyways the rest of it is just him telling his experience with muslimah students so its just there.

so uhm you just said your students ‘unwillingly’ become an ambassador to everyone she knew’. and then you went to talk to them about islam to make sure you were TEACHING THEM YOUR SOURCE MATERIAL CORRECTLY. i’m sorry imagine. these are kids not some scholars you go to consult. there are so many muslims all over the internet and youtube sharing their experiences for you to access on how to ‘represent their experience’ correctly. you’re the teacher here. picture this:as a muslilm, i teach at a public school and while teaching about Christianity in class, no i would double check or some dumb shit with the students. like educate yourself i’m sorry. anyways apparently he blames his mistakes on himself then goes on to deny he ever made any mistakes i can’t.

so this is a blatant lie. 99% of muslims i’ve met have never read all of sahih bukhari and sahih muslim. usually only scholars do that when they are studying islam for YEARS. and FIVE different interpretations of the quran on top of that. ok so sahih bukhari is 9 books that are over 300 pages each and sahih musilm is 7 volumes with also about 300+ pages each. and then the english versions of the quran are 600 pages. and he claims he read five of them. i’m so sorry but no he didn’t. he writes books so fast and he released mcga around the time toa was being released almost one book per year so he did not have a lot of spare time. the rest ig i can let slide. also and if he did do all of that why does he make so many mistakes in writing samirah. and even IF you accept his excuses reading ALL of this source material is great for teaching your class or whatever but not for writing a modern day muslim. you don’t need to lie to us rick ❤️

most of this is just describing what she’s like but his writing did also add in the model minority, smart kid trope. like no they don’t have to be a terrorist or a A+ student who is the best at everything. there is a middle ground to their personality.

i actually used to love his rep in sam. that’s how i got into the series. i saw a hijabi girl on his website. i got excited and read all of his books. i loved piper, leo, hazel, percy, annabeth, sadie, carter, nico, everyone. now that i look back i was younger and didn’t see anything wrong with it back then. its great that he tried to portray minorities but he did it so badly and now is just denying the faults that his now older readers are trying to tell him.

hey, uhm didn’t you read all of sahih bukhari and muslim? hmm i didn’t think so. anyways the way he dealt with it honestly wasn’t that bad. but the whole ‘whoops’. like why does he keep portraying himself as the innocent old white man just trying his best.

honestly how he wrote samirah as a hijabi was the dumbest thing i’ve ever read. its is totally fine if she wasn’t hijabi, many muslim girls aren’t, and that is their choice. but he decided to make her like a weird middle ground. it was so lazy and inconsistent. in the first book she says she wears it when she needs to, like in situations like going to the masjid. this was fine, since many muslim girls do that. then in the next books she wears it all the time except when she’s in valhalla for some reason. hijabi girls take of their scarves when they’re at home or with family, but making her claim the entirety of vallhalla as her family. that was just demeaning and stupid to me. it takes away its value. and i fucking hated that last sentence. for hijabis, their hijab is important and not a toy or weapon or a MAGIC ITEM. and then on top of that she would have to take it of to hide. he could’ve made it anything else. her hijab isn’t some token item istg.

i love how he admits that they are a big problem and abusive and usually engage with child marriages. i’m relatively he doesn’t understand what the people even meant by it. the practice is a problem that isn’t supposed to be seen in a nice light. the only possible way it could be slightly ok is that if ADULTS agree they 100% do not want to choose who they want to get married to and let their parents choose, and both sides agree. samirah was a child and he decided to make her wedding life decided since the age of 12. and it was ok because amir was conventionally attractive and she loved him. WHAT IF SHE DIDNT. this literally is a dangerous arranged marriage. and arranged marriages are not ok, and mostly perpetuated by victims of it who will end up passing it down their family lines. my parents got an arranged marriage and I HAVE NEVER SEEN THEM DISPLAY ANY SIGNS OF AFFECTION. arranged marriages are not a trope that your can turn around to be a quirky personality trait for your characters.

i’m sorry that’s not how arranged marriages work. most likely if she said something her grandparents would have shut her done and continued with the marriage, as that is what you usually happens. do not portray the small amount of consented, ‘happy’ arranged marriages as the majority. it is a huge problem that many desi/middle eastern cultures are trying to erase. even on top of that he writes situations where she’s going to be in trouble for acting up and ‘jeopardizing the marriage agreement’ and that her grandparents think she’s ‘lucky that she could get the fadlan family to agree to marry their son to her’. these statements are often used in forced and dangerous marriages, so don’t try and justify your actions. if you wanted to show traditional customs in a positive light, there are so many richer parts of samirah’s culture you could’ve focused on and you chose arranged marriage. 😻 all you’ve done is given parents and authority figures a westernized resource to justify arranged and forced marriages, especially with the minimal explanation on how the marriage isn’t forced in the actual books. and yes, your books do condone child marriage samirah is clearly deemed into this marriage ever since the young age of 12. she lived her life knowing she would marry amir. no one has only one crush throughout their life. imagine how she would’ve grown up. sorry you only consider opinions that align with those in you mind.

i’m going to be honest i did like that one scene it was written nicely and accurately but the explanation he gives just ruins the entire thing. the way he just if this strikes you as islamophobic, or samirah as a hurtful, uhm no explanation i just disagree 😽. the way you wrote her is a hurtful stereotype sorry you can’t see it.

oops, you did. too bad you don’t want to do anything about it.

why do you think people are painting you in a negative light, so many of your characters are written on hurtful and negative stereotypes. people aren’t painting it that way, you need to calm down w your ego and listen. dang i’m sorry your best is giving half-assed excuses and not actually doing anything. i’m even more sorry people are mad that a highly privileged author that has a lot of influence is done talking about his racist depictions of minorities in his books.

dang must be lucky to take a break from the social media, imagine what all the minorities you wrote about have to go with everyday weather they are on social media or not. people aren’t bullying you this is valid criticism you refuse to listen to.

fuck you

obviously these are my opinions do not judge every muslim based on what i’ve said come to me if you have a problem with it

anyways support jewish, muslim, black, brown, asian, hispanic, indigenous, lgbtq+, disabled, and other minority authors and creators.

#anti rr #fuck him at this point #samirah al abbas #she deserved so much better #i probably made so many spelling mistakes smh #long post #mcga #rr crit

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downondilaudid · 4 years

Text

Eighteen

Spencer and reader are childhood friends, the reader coaxes Spencer into attending her high school reunion, but not for the reason he was expecting.

HUGE THANKS to @hkinmydna we wrote this together, and I couldn’t have done it without her, I love her so much <3

Requested: @jellijinnie

Prompts: “I can’t wait to grow old with you.” & “I have loved you since we were eighteen.”

Word Count: 4.3K

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Fluff

“Guys are accessories, until one proves he's a necessity” - Source unknown

Dear Spencer,

I received your last letter, I’m so glad to hear Diana is doing well! Business at the bakery has been pretty slow. But, it’s almost wedding season, so business will pick up soon! I mean, nothing ever truly slows down in Vegas. Speaking of Vegas, my high school reunion is coming up, and I’m absolutely dreading it.

High school was an absolute nightmare, I’m sure the same goes for you. Lydia, a friend of mine from high school, is begging me to go. I’m just not sure, everyone’s going to be married, with kids, and I own a fucking bakery, Spencer. On top of that, my love life is dead, I won't even have a date. I’m not sure who I would ask, I can’t even pay a man to date me.

Enough about my boring problems, how’s life at the BAU? I hope it’s not too stressful, I know how hard it can be on you.

Yours Sincerely,

Y/N.

•••

Dear Y/N,

I’m sure your job has its own thrills. You’re right about the bakery business booming soon; June is the most popular month for weddings, with 10.8% occurring during that time. Studies also show that brides typically focus the most attention on planning their attire, closely followed by their caterer. Not to mention, Las Vegas happens to have the most weddings per year, at over 114,000, so I assume your bakery will be in high demand in the next month.

I happen to remember Lydia, actually. She had bright red highlights in her hair when she graduated high school. It really stuck out to me when you let me look through your yearbook. I think you should go. You’re obviously pining for a date, though, so it seems that maybe I should pay our old high school a visit. Since I’d love to accompany you anyway, I might as well get some closure.

The BAU is the same as always, but I could use a break. Send me the details of the reunion, maybe?

Sincerely,

Spencer.

•••

You checked the gate number multiple times, A24, A24, A24. Your head tilted up, eyes searching for the big blue sign. Shit, A22, definitely the wrong gate.

“Ugh, goddammit” you cursed, your hand wrapping around the gear shift, throwing your car into drive, a little more aggressively than needed. You placed your hands on the wheel, ten and two, anxiety rolling off you in waves. You shouldn't have been this nervous, you had known Spencer all your life.

It started when you were nine. Your mom had finally decided to let you roller skate to the park a few blocks away, much to your father’s disapproval, and it stirred up crazy anticipation in you. This was going to be your first big adventure as a big girl. As soon as you left the driveway, you felt adrenaline pump through your veins. You had skated to the park a million times, but this time had been different. When you arrived, the park was mostly deserted, aside from a frail, pale boy sitting at a chess table.

You pulled off your skates, bounding across the grass excitedly. As a child you’d always been friendly, maybe a little too friendly.

“Hey!” You greeted, plopping into the chair opposite of the boy.

The boy didn’t respond, too deep in thought, his tongue darting out to lick his pink lips.

“Whatcha’ doing?” You questioned, propping your elbows on the table, letting your head rest in your hands.

“Chess” the boy replied simply, he seemed too interested in the game to even make eye contact.

“You know it’s rude not to make eye contact. That’s what my mom always tells me.”

The boy looked up, his big, black glasses sliding ever so slightly down the bridge of his nose. “97% of school-aged children learn their manners from home. It’s the number one factor of civility. Did you know that?”

“Civil-what?” You were pretty sure this kid didn’t speak English.

“Civility is basically etiquette,” he elaborated slowly, giving you the most basic definition he could think of. “It means you learn your manners from your parents. Later on in life it’ll help you develop your own moral compass.”

You just blinked, this kid was definitely not from earth, and was definitely not speaking English. But you sat there anyway, letting him speak his mind and listening intently, although you didn’t understand all of it. He also began teaching you chess that day, since he saw you as an opportunity to play with an actual partner instead of studying the board alone.

From then on you and Spencer were attached by the hip, you were enamored with his vast knowledge of the world, and he enjoyed teaching you.

You jumped when a knock resounded through the car, “Holy-Jesus, fuck.” Your hand flew to your chest in shock, your head whipping to the right to see who so rudely brought you out of your pensive state.

Spencer stood at the window, a smile on his face, you could tell he was laughing. His intention definitely wasn’t to scare you, but he enjoyed it nonetheless. The shock wore off, and with the shake of your head you were laughing too. You unlocked the car, your previous anxiety fading away.

“You should’ve seen your face!” Spencer giggled.

“Yeah, yeah, get in, Rooks.” You rolled your eyes, a smile on your face.

“Actually, did you know, every chess piece was meant to have symbolism, and the rook was the walls of the castle or the chariot. Calling it a castle is outdated, though.” He smirked a bit. “So what does it mean when you call me Rooks?”

Your smile dropped slightly, attempting to think of a snide response. “I-I guess I just thought it sounded cool,” you came up with on the spot. “How was your flight?” You diverted.

“I have to admit, it’s a little different than a government-issued private jet,” he said with a chuckle.

“Oh, you and your fancy private jets. You’re too lucky, traveling around the world every week and all. I guess it’s not all that glamorous, though.” You grimaced, thinking about all the bodies he sees on a regular basis. He replied with only a smile and a nod.

The rest of the drive was filled with chatter and inside jokes, and of course Spencer ranting about every topic.

…

Spencer stumbled through your front door, his weariness becoming more and more obvious. “Please let me help you with your bags,” you begged him, but he denied that he needed help for the third time.

“I’ve got it, Skates. Trust me.” He looked you straight in the eye, and you had to back down.

“Fine, suit yourself” you mumbled, opening the door to reveal a flight of stairs. You smiled slightly at his use of your little childhood nickname.

The trip up the stairs was… memorable, Spencer still refusing your help. He was so chivalrous sometimes.

“So, there’s only one bed, but I can take the couch.” you mumbled, picking up a stray jacket you missed during your cleaning frenzy.

“Y/N, I’ll take the couch, I’m not going to make you sleep on the couch in your own home.” He had always been so insistent, even since you were children. It’s not that he had to get his way, but he had strong feelings that he couldn’t ever seem to shove aside. As much as you wanted to argue and be a good host, there was no arguing with Spencer Walter Reid. You nodded and went back downstairs, beginning to tidy up the pull-out couch for him.

“So, what exactly is your plan for the reunion?” He asked while you fluffed up a pillow.

“Well I was hoping you could help me with that, Rooks. Put that big beautiful brain of yours to use.” You replied, a playful smile on your face. He grinned shyly, not sure how to reply at first.

“Did you know, on average, only around 20% to 30% of graduating students will attend their high school reunions.” Spencer stated. You paused, recognizing he was nervous. He may have been the profiler between the two of you, but you understood his behavior almost like the back of your hand.

“I guess I’m part of that 20% then.” you said absentmindedly. “I’m still so hesitant about going, Spence. Everyone’s going to be married, and successful, and all they’re going to do is rub it in my face!”

“Well, there’s no rule about these things that you have to be honest necessarily,” he said, implication looming behind it.

“What are you saying?” you had an idea of what he was hinting at, but, you would never blatantly ask him.

“I mean, we’ve been best friends for all our lives, would it be so wrong for us to act like a couple? People would totally believe it, and then you wouldn’t feel so alienated.”

Bingo. “Spencer, I couldn’t possibly put you in that situation. You’ve already flown all the way out here to accompany me to a fucking high school reunion!” A pang of guilt ran through your bones, you had him right where you wanted him, but, he didn’t have to know that.

“I’m already out here, why not have some fun with it? Come on, I want to see how people react.” He really had a knack for being convincing, but you didn’t need him to tell you twice. You were really excited to carry out this plan.

“Well, I guess we could mess with people,” you said with a sly smile. “How does fiancé sound to you?”

Your nerves were back, you don’t think you’d ever been this dressed up in front of Spencer in your entire life. You were definitely slightly overdressed, but no one said you couldn’t look nice. Besides, it gave you a boost of confidence, which you would totally use to the best of your abilities.

You looked in the mirror one last time, adjusting a few stray hairs, and confirming your lipstick wasn’t smudged. You twisted the ring on your left ring finger, it felt foreign, but it looked beautiful. It was your grandmother's old ring, it had a gold, double band, with a single large diamond perched right on top. It was Spencer’s idea to pass it off as an engagement ring. You finally felt your plan starting to fall into place.

He met you in the corridor, looking well-dressed and as smug as ever. It had been forever since the two of you got to spend some quality together, much less have your own little adventure.

You grabbed your purse and slung it over your shoulder, urging Spencer to follow you out your front door and to the car. He quickly beat you to the driver’s side door, opening it for you. “God, you can’t resist being a gentleman for even a minute, can you?”

He smiled softly, like he always did, and hopped into the passenger seat eagerly.

…

As excited as you were to play domestic life with Spencer, watching your past friends and acquaintances walk into the event center with husbands and wives on their arms definitely stirred up some nerves.

“Spencer, I don’t know if I can do this.” You admitted.

“Absolutely not, Skates. You didn’t drag me all the way out here just to bail at the last second.” With that, Spencer opened his door, stepping out of the car. He once again beat you to the door, opening it before you could barely get your hand on the handle.

“Fuck you,” you said, grabbing his hand, allowing him to help you out of the car.

A smirk crossed his face, “I’m sure you have, we are engaged after all.”

Jesus. Fucking. Christ. This was going to be a long night.

The confidence he gave you was apparent, because you nearly strutted into the venue with Spencer hanging off your arm like an accessory. You could get used to this. The reunion was at an event center: the same one where both your proms were held and all four homecoming dances. It was still familiar-looking as the two of you walked in, greeting the doorman warmly.

The first person to approach you, coincidentally, was Lydia. Her once vibrant red hair now an elegant black, she looked spectacular. “Y/N!” She practically screamed, throwing her arms around you in a bone-crushing hug. You hugged her back almost as tightly. Although you’d continued living in Vegas after high school, almost nobody else you were friends with had done the same. It felt nostalgic to get a piece of normality back from your past.

“I’m so glad you forced me to come,” you admitted to her.

“I’m glad I did too,” she agreed, her eyes flitting from you to your arm piece. “And who’s this?” Her grin was smug and prying for all the juicy details.

“This is my fiancé, Spencer Reid,” you said and patted his arm lightly with your free hand. He didn’t budge, almost as if it were a natural move for you to make.

“FIANCÉ?!” Lydia bubbled with excitement. “It’s about time we met then!” Her hand jutted out for a handshake.

Spencer laughed nervously, “the number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering, it’s actually safer to kiss.”

“Oh, okay” Lydia giggled, turning to you, “he’s charming.”

You laughed, covering your mouth slightly, “you’ll have to excuse him; he's not a flirt, he’s just a certified genius, IQ of 187 and all.”

Lydia’s eyes lit up in shock. “Are you kidding? Stop pulling my leg, Y/N, you’re gonna make me jealous and upset that I didn’t bring a living encyclopedia along,” she scoffed.

“I’m dead serious,” you said brightly, glancing over at Spencer. Pride filled your body somehow, although part of this situation wasn’t even the truth.

“You know, the black hair suits you. Red highlights weren’t really your style,” Spencer said as an attempt to compliment Lydia.

Lydia stared at him blankly. “How did you know I had highlights in high school?” She asked nervously, glancing at you in confusion. Spencer immediately realized his mistake.

“Oh, well, I’m sorry I just saw your picture in Y/N’s yearbook one time and… I have an eidetic memory, actually, which causes me to-“

“He has the memory of an elephant,” you cut him off with a smile. Lydia laughed it off, but you could tell she was slightly uneasy.

“He didn’t need anything else to fill his resume. God, next you’re gonna tell me he’s a lawyer or something.”

“Well, actually I work for the FBI. I’m a behavioral analyst,” he corrected her innocently. You nudged him in the arm a little too roughly, letting him know he was going a little overboard.

“Sorry. He’s been needing to work on his humility,” you joked.

Lydia laughed along, “it’s so great to see you again, Y/N, if you’ll excuse me for a moment I’m going to get a drink.” She smiled, before sashaying away to the beverage table.

Spencer turned to you, brows furrowed, mouth open, ready to spout something off.

Just then, your view of Spencer was obstructed by an overly perky brunette with a sickeningly sweet smile, “Y/N” she screeched.

Fuck fucking fuck. “Claire!” You exclaimed, a look of panic on your face, eyes flashing between Claire and Spencer, silently begging for his help.

“How are you? You look great!” she said. Just then a man approached her, one of his arms wrapping loosely around her waist.

“I-I’m good! H-how about you?” fuck, where was Spencer.

“We are great,” the man responded, pressing a kiss to Claire’s cheek. She giggled, patting his chest affectionately.

“I’m sorry this is my boyfriend Liam, you’ll have to excuse him, he can never seem to keep his hands off me!”

This bitch is dead. You laughed awkwardly praying to every god above Spencer would come to your rescue.

“It’s not my fault, how am I supposed to control myself when you look so irresistible?” Liam chuckled, one hand coming up to grasp Claire’s chin, pecking her lips lightly.

You looked at every corner for Spencer, needing him there to reassure you. As if on cue, he appeared from behind Claire and Liam, carrying two red solo cups delicately.

“Sorry I disappeared for a bit, sweetheart, I grabbed you some punch,” he said and pressed the cup into your palm, seeming to notice how uncomfortable you were. You smiled at him in response, seeing your chance and immediately taking it.

“Claire, this is my fiancé, Spencer.” You gestured to him and pulled him to you like a security blanket. “Spence, this is Claire and Liam,” you introduced smugly. One-upping Claire felt intoxicatingly good.

“Oh, how lovely!” She responded, “then you know how it is, always a hassle to get them out of the house! Liam’s away with work so much I barely see him!”

“Oh, what do you do, Liam?” You questioned.

“He’s a firefighter! Always away saving people’s lives, my Liam” Claire butted in, her hand coming up to adjust Liam’s tie.

“Actually, Spencer is always away on business too. He’s an FBI agent, which always has him taking cases in unpredictable places,” you explained, emphasizing the FBI agent part. Spencer looked at you with a hint of concern, and you knew he thought you were being too flamboyant. It served Claire right though, she’d been a total bitch to you ever since middle school. The way Spencer looked at you felt wrong, though. His face had fallen to almost a frown.

“Oh, wow, that’s spectacular! You really understand then, it’s so hard having Liam away, especially when he’s going back to college to get his masters degree, I never see him anymore!” Claire blurted, linking her arm with Liam’s.

You copied her movement, doing the same with Spencer, “Oh I completely understand, Spencer has three PHD’s, so I get it.” You flashed Claire a bright smile, so this is how she wants to play?

Claire’s smile dropped for a fraction of a second, springing back ten times brighter.

Spencer shot you a look, bringing you back to reality. You knew you were being petty, but you had dreamed about this moment since the seventh fucking grade. It was playing out like a dream; you had on a gorgeous dress with a gorgeous fiancé (he was kind of gorgeous, wasn't he?) and you got to give Claire a taste of her own medicine.

Claire’s eye twitched slightly, as she turned to Spencer, “wow, you must be a very smart man!”

You reached your hand up to wrap around Spencer’s tie, pulling him impossibly closer to you before answering, “he is, I’m a very lucky woman.” With that you did something neither of you were expecting, using his tie, you pulled his head to yours, pressing your lips lightly against his.

Spencer’s eyes widened slightly, before fluttering shut, you felt his large hand on the small of your back, pulling you into him. You pulled away, and for a moment, you forgot this was fake, for a moment this was your reality, he was your fiancé. You smiled up at him, an unreadable expression of his face, “I can’t wait to grow old with you.”

Spencer’s face fell in shock. Maybe the kiss finally connected an unspoken bond between the two of you, but this came from nowhere. His eyes held something behind them, rage maybe? You hoped Claire couldn’t notice the uncomfortable tension building between the two of you.

“Well, it was nice seeing you again,” she said awkwardly, pulling Liam by the arm as a cue to get the hell out of there. Damn. She felt it too. “I hope you and your fiancé have a nice night,” she smiled, but there was a bite of bitterness in it. Somehow it felt like you hadn’t gotten the last laugh after all as she left you standing next to Spencer. He was right beside you, but felt impossibly far away.

“Can we step outside for a minute?”, he asked with a gulp. Fuck.

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” You muttered, wiping your clammy palms down the sides of your dress. Spencer’s hand wrapped around your arm, guiding you to the door.

The cool Vegas air hit you both like a freight train, like a calm notion before the storm. As soon as you were secluded Spencer turned to you, a fire burning in his dark eyes.

“What was that about?”, he asked you in a soft but forceful tone.

“Wasn’t this our plan, Spence? It was your idea to do this so why are you suddenly uncomfortable doing shit that couples would do?” Your face was burning hot with frustration.

“No, this isn’t what couples would do. This is what you would do to prove yourself to some stupid high school bully. It’s gross,” he spat at you.

You ran a hand through your hair, definitely ruining the elaborate curls that took you an hour and a half. “Are you kidding me? Are you profiling me? At my high school reunion?”

“It doesn’t take a profiler to realize you’re trying to prove you’re not incompetent, Y/N.” Spencer growled, his voice escalating. “I mean, why did you even mention the reunion in your letter if you didn’t want me to invite myself? You knew I would, and I feel like you’re just using me as a way to make yourself look better.” The last part of his sentence loomed over you and made the air stiffer. He paused before continuing, “I’m not here to be your accessory or your trophy or whatever the fuck you want me to be. I came because I thought it would mean a lot to you and I wanted to be here for you, but obviously you just wanted to use me to prove a point over a high school grudge.”

Your breath caught in your throat, eyes welling with tears of frustration. You let out a groan, pushing your hair out of your face once again, “God, Spencer, I have loved you since we were eighteen.”

Spencer was so aggravated that he was still breathing heavily, not able to reply immediately. Several emotions crossed his face: confusion, frustration, doubt, and relief.

“Why do you think I own a business alone, and live alone, and never settle down, but still keep my little childhood best friend as a penpal? Has it never added up to you, Spence? I’ve loved you since we were kids! Some profiler you are,” you ended with a smirk.

Spencer initiated the kiss this time, his hand swiftly grabbing your cheek and pressing his lips to yours with a hunger you’d never expected from the timid boy at the park. Your lips moved together in sync, you let your hands travel up his chest, wrapping loosely around the back of his neck.

You both pulled away, breathless, eyes meeting once more. Spencer grasped your chin lightly, “since we were kids, huh? Then prove it.” He whispered.

“Alright,” you smiled. “Let’s get out of here.” You took his hand and led him to your car, hopping in the front seat confidently and turning the key in the ignition. Spencer pulled himself into the passenger seat and you began to pull away from the event center to a familiar part of town.

“I think I like where this is headed.” Spencer’s grin widened and you couldn’t help but take your eyes off the road for a moment to bask in the glory of his genuine smile.

You pulled the car into the completely empty parking lot of the park, turning off the car and letting yourself out. The two of you passed by the swings and slides instinctively and walked straight to one of the most significant places in Las Vegas; the chess board.

You sat down in the chair, nostalgia running through your veins, Spencer sat opposite of you. “I may not have an eidetic memory, but I'll never forget the first time I laid my eyes on you. The lonely boy at the park, playing chess, of all things. There was never a specific moment I fell in love with you, it sort of just accumulated over the years. From your caring nature, and knack to put everyone’s needs before your own, to your gorgeous child-like smile that can light up the darkest of rooms, or the tender way you care for your mom, or children- God, Spence, your kids are going to be so lucky. One of my favorite things about you is your humility, Spencer, you are incredible, you’re a certified genius, and I don’t think I’ve heard you boast about your intelligence once in my entire life! Spencer, you are so special, there will never be another man on earth like you, and I’m sorry for making you feel like an accessory tonight, I guess I just enjoyed being in a relationship with you, even if it was fake. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I love you, Spencer, and I will never love anyone the way I love you.”

He looked down with a shy smile. “Way to inflate my ego, Y/N,” he said with a chuckle. “You may have stumbled into my life, but I’m glad you did. I love you with every ounce that I can.”

You looked at the chess board in front of you. “So, what now?”

“Now” Spencer said, standing up, dusting off his slacks. He held his hand out to you, and you took it giddily. “We go visit my mom.”

You giggled, ”you’re such a mama’s boy, Rooks.”

Spencer laughed as you began your walk back to the car, “yeah yeah, just don’t use me as an accessory this time,” he nudged you playfully with his arm.

A smile fell permanently on your face, “trust me, you’re the finest accessory I’ve ever owned.”

Spencer smiled, stopping momentarily to pull you in for a quick kiss. “I love you, Skates.”

You beamed at him, hoping to commit this moment to memory, “I love you more, Rooks.”

#criminal minds #criminalminds #spencer #spencer reid #fluff #fanfic #spencerreid #bau

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kewltie · 4 years

Text

grumpy vet!katsuki is annoyed at animal lover!izuku who keeps bringing strays into his clinic because this isn't a fucking rescue but he never stop helping izuku care and find a home for every one of them. worst yet is that he can hear the voice of animals and they're like,,, pls mate with the cute human.

katsuki doesn't remember when it first started for him, but he'd always heard them. the animals are noisy bunch of fuckers with A WHOLE LOT OF OPINIONS and katsuki wouldn't say he love them but hearing their voice, knowing their pain and joy, he understands them better than he get humans. there isn't any pretense with the animals. they are what they are and they love, hate, and cry just as fiercely as any humans even though katsuki thinks they're simple creatures. he always been closer to the animals than other humans because they stay true to him. so yea he doesn't love animals but he finds himself relating to them more than his own species. it's not surprise that he became a vet because he get to work closely with the animals that kinda fuck up his life since he cant have any normalcy anymore so they're stuck with each other lol

izuku have always been fond of animals and they have always been super fond of him back. it's mutual love all around even though izuku def can't hear their voices but growing up izuku was heavily bullied and harassed and his only friends were stray dogs he met whenever he walk to/from school. his bullies called him in mocking tone 'snow white' because the fact that izuku always attracting animals around him and whenever he go anywhere birds fly circle above him and animals have a habit of finding him. it's freaky. IZUKU WAS WEIRD so he finds comfort in animals rather than human because they don’t care or judge him. Animals can be simple like that.

while katsuki takes his strangeness and ability and turns it into a flourishing business because he's not going to let anything fuck him over; katsuki owns his power and isn't ashamed of it one bit. he just wish the animals talk less because they think they know BEST even more than him lol. take for example his lack of love life because he's sooo busy at his private clinic and doesn't have time for others. as soon as he had graduated vet school, he poured his money and opened his own clinic because katsuki was never going to be alright working under someone and he want to do things his way. now that his business is stable and he got several other vets (his friends from vet school) working with him, he has more free time but still finds himself working at the clinic on his day off because he's uh a bit of a workaholic?? also because he thinks human relationship is a complicated, annoying, and just UGH/o\.

his animals that AREN'T HIS PETS exactly but stay year round at the clinic because they're deemed unadoptable for normal shelters because of their special needs (i.e. blind, deaf, etc) so they constantly harassed him to find a 'proper mate' and produce 'offspring' already because he's wasting good sperm… lol they legitly dont understand how a virile male like katsuki haven't found a good mate yet and katsuki REALLY REALLY would like them to stfu up with the nagging because he already got it from his friends and HIS PARENTS and now he's getting harassed at work by his own fucking animals.

his animals are actually a bird with one wing, a three legged dog, two cats (one blind and the other deaf). no matter what katsuki say, THEY'RE HIS PACK and they absolutely loves him. Some were surrendered by their owner because it was too much work taking care of a special need animal while his pack like the dog actually came from a fighting ring and got his leg broken by another. the two cats were from abusive households, and the bird was abandoned by her owner when she lost one of her wings. they're mix matched bunch of mistfists with nowhere else to go but katsuki took them in anyway. he said it's only UNTIL HE FIND THEM A NEW HOME, but they never leave him sobs. THEY LOVE THIS GRUMPY ASSHOLE. katsuki understands them and doesn't care if they're lil broken and damage and he's so, so good to them even though he's so MEAN ABOUT IT LOL.

so yea, they want more than anything for katsuki to be happy!!!!! for them that's mean finding a good mate and having babies because that is guaranteeing his future, but few humans can put up with their beloved katsuki,,, until izuku comes rolling into the clinic with a dog hit by a car of course.

izuku has no pet insurance and he doesn't even have any money to pay the pet fees because he's actually unemployed right now. he went through various jobs of all kind but because of his 'unique deposition' animals constantly flocked to him and made it chaotic when he's on the job. he was eventually was fire/asked to leave because it was inconvenience to them and though izuku finds it extremely hard to only last a month or two at his new work everytime, he never blame the animals for being the source of the problem because they ARE HIS HAPPINESS, HIS ENDLESS JOY.

it also made it harder izuku to have a 'normal' life when izuku would often drop everything to help any kind of animal in need. a lost pet, an injured bunny, an abused dog, etc and he would go to great lengths to ensure they're love and care for because they are the world to him. so when he saw a dog injured on the roadside, he stopped immediately and found the nearest vet clinic to bring her in even though HE'S OUT OF A JOB and is poor in cash but rich in heart :P.

at first katsuki put up a fight like he's not going to help unless izuku paid up because he's kind of dick lol. tbh he was just putting on a show because he can't have ppl thinking HE'S FUCKING WEAK to every desperate ppl coming in even tho his price is the cheapest in the area and he takes IN EVERY PET NO MATTER HOW DIRE but then izuku get teary eyes and promise katsuki his spleen if he would help. that is when he knew izuku is going to FUCKING RUIN HIM because then all the animals in the waiting room is giving him a stink eye and are like, "HELP THE POOR HUMAN YOU DUMB DOC". he just want to growl at them to stfu but the dog starts howling and everyone is making noises and he sighs.

he wasn't even going to kick izuku and the injured dog out anyway so he grits his teeth and let himself be bullied in taking in his new patient and a v v v concern izuku. he insistently hovers close by as katsuki perform the surgery on the dog's broken leg. katsuki knows the drill because worry pet parent is part of the job. "she will be fine," he tells izuku.

eyes wide with hope. "really?" he asks, looking all earnest.

"yea, i wouldn't bullshit unless i fucking know for sure," katsuki answers with a snort because he doesnt make empty promises. also because he's fucking good at his job. he takes in every case seriously and pour his blood, sweat, and tears into all their animals that come into his clinic until they're well again. katsuki doesn't love animals,,, he's FUCKING LOVES THEM in his own ornery ways ofc lol.

esp the pets and animals that come through his clinic, they all have unique personality and stories to tell. they're not humans but to katsuki they might as well be because their life is as precious as any other human being and he wants to make sure none of them die on his table.

"okay, she's cleared from the surgery," katsuki says, informing an anxious looking izuku. "you can take her home in three days." he pauses for a moment with a frown. "consider the wee waived as my good deed of the year. just dont let your pet run off in the street next time."

izuku blinks. "she's not my dog. I just found her."

katsuki stares at him. "you were going to offer your spleen for a dog that isn't EVEN YOURS?!"

izuku nods eagerly. "i just couldnt leave her alone when she's hurt like that. thank you so much, bakugou-san! you're her hero!"

it's then that his life go from somewhat mundane (as much as a vet who can talk to animals can be) to become even more eccentric because of izuku. he somehow acquired another DOG into his pack bc no matter how desperately izuku tried to find her owner he couldn't. she also need a lot of dedicated hands on care but with no prior owner appearing, katsuki begrudgingly takes her on until she finds a new home. even worst, izuku makes it a habit to visit his clinic daily to check up on her and all the animals there perk excitedly at his appearance.

he easily makes friend w/ all the animals, esp the ones recovering from surgery/illness, taking special care of them while katsuki's pack is super curious w/ izuku and keep hounding katsuki to pay attention to the cute human!! LOOK A VIABLE MATE as katsuki continues to ignore them

katsuki like to thinks he's a hardass but ever since that day izuku keeps bringing in his strays for katsuki to help and katsuki grumble his way through it but never turn izuku away bc as soon as izuku turn his fucking huge green eyes at him,,,, he'd fucking whipped that's what. and izuku has no money and no job, he started stay longer and help out at the clinic as a return for katsuki’s helping out the animals he keeps bringing in. so he just come to clinic pretty much everyday from morning and wouldn't leave till they close it.

his presence there calm the animals and they always look forward to seeing him everyday. even katsuki's regular clients are like, "oh did you hired a new assistant at the clinic? he's such a sweet and helpful boy."

katsuki, eyes twitching, grits out a, "no."

but at this point katsuki pretty much accepted izuku is attached to the clinic now because unlike all the strays izuku brought in with all of them eventually finding a new home later, KATSUKI IS STUCK WITH IZUKU even though this izuku had FOUND HIM FIRST and not the other way around. katsuki is good with animals because they dont take his bullshit and though he has his colleagues who he work with but they knew him long enough to deal with his prickliness longterm but izuku who he only known for a month or 2, sticks close to him and just smile through him being his asshole self. maybe it's because izuku is some kind of animals magnet disney princess bullshit because ofc katsuki would only attract the kind of person that is maybe part animals or some shit because JUST HIS LUCK that he takes in a human stray in the end and can't get rid of izuku even if he wanted to.

there was no point in fighting it now, izuku is here to stay even if he has a habit of attracting all kind of animals and ridiculous to katsuki's peaceful clinic. he ends up hiring izuku to work at the clinic even though izuku been working there for months already lol. izuku who always have a hard time having any permanency in his life because of his animals magnet deposition and maintaining any human relationship because they dont get his obsession with animals, immediately lights up at the news that he's here to stay WITH ALL THE ANIMALS AND KATSUKI.

katsuki who is mean, rough, and yells at him when he messed up but carefully teaches him how to fill out the health form correctly and lets him play with all the animals at the clinic. doesn't even blink when izuku smuggled in an injured bird and put UP WITH IZUKU'S RIDICULOUSNESS!! izuku is half way in love already because katsuki is a good man with the biggest heart around even if he deny it. he can tell by how much his pack loves katsuki, how they are happy and healthy they look and how they were deemed too broken for society but with katsuki they found a perfect home.

izuku doesn't understand the animals but you don't need a common language to see the way katsuki’s dog curl up in his lap when he's working in the office even though that dog is definitely way too big for it, or how his bird hop on his shoulder as he works. it's there in their body language and the way they want to be close to him. animals are honest, they express everything they feel with their entire body so katsuki can huffs and puffs about how he's not a good person but izuku knows. why else would katsuki not charged izuku for all the animals he bring in or get so brutally upset when he couldn't save one of their life.

izuku doesn't push for more because he's happy just having a room in katsuki's life with all these animals around them. while katsuki is SUFFERING because all his animals are yelling at him daily to: "FUCK MATE CUTE HUMAN BOY YOU USELESS TURD."

the fact that they're all invested in katsuki's love life is hilarious because they think he's completely useless at getting a mate and really want him to get it on with IZUKU ALREADY BECAUSE HE'S GETTING INTO HIS PRIME AND HE NEED TO PRODUCE BEFORE HE DIE TO CONTINUE HIS SPECIES!!!

katsuki has to keep telling them that IS NOT HOW HUMANS WORK but his animals keep offering advice like, "offer the head of your beloved's worst enemy as a courting gift", "leave a dead mouse at his house", "build him a beautiful nest" etc. it's great IF IZUKU WASNT A HUMAN. they critique katsuki's "courting skill" relentlessly because izuku is sweet, kind, love animals, and is perfect so like,,, can he hurry and snatch the cute human up already before some other bastard does???? because mating is a battlefield!!! you got to fight for your right to have him!!

at this point, with the constant nagging and all the animals being 'helpful', katsuki kinda just want lean over and tell izuku, "so do you just wanna fuck and start a family with me?" so his animals can stfu and also he'd might have lost his mind a lil there lol

#bakudeku #not!fic #vet au

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lavenderek · 4 years

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Why do you hate Ian?? When i was a kid I LOVED What A Girl Wants. I had such a crush on Ian :(

i am happy to go off thank you for this opportunity, long post under the cut

in case somebody wants to read this but doesn’t know what “what a girl wants” is, it’s a movie from the early 2000′s starring amanda bynes as Daphne.

she grew up in new york with a single mom, Libby. she has an estranged father played by colin firth, Henry, who doesn’t know daphne exists. libby is a singer who works weddings a lot.

libby and henry were star-crossed lovers, basically. henry is an english aristocrat with political aspirations, and his family believed marrying libby, who is living her stevie nicks fantasy, would damage his career; so they got her alone and convinced her henry changed his mind and didn’t want her. libby left, not yet knowing she was pregnant, and then spent 17 years pining for him.

daphne has spent her whole life romanticizing the idea of her father coming to get her, so after she graduates high school she chooses to fly out to england and surprise him. when she gets there she is disappointed to find that he is engaged to a woman who has a daughter about daphne’s age, but tries to make it work anyway.

daphne is clumsy and very casual, so hijinks ensue. henry’s fiancee and future stepdaughter are evil and conniving.

daphne is rejected and bullied by the fiancee and stepdaughter and she struggles trying to fit in with aristocratic society, so ultimately she leaves. henry is upset about this because he learned to love her, and subsequently he discovers she was being mistreated. he breaks up with the fiancee and flies out to america to surprise daphne. daphne gets into oxford u somehow and they all live happily ever after.

the first person daphne meets and gets to know in the movie is a local musician named Ian, who tells her she was born to stand out. he has minimal effect on the plot, like, i could write him out in two minutes, but god forbid we have a teen movie without a romance in it. they’re immediately attracted to each other and he proceeds to be a very bad boyfriend that the audience is supposed to find morally upstanding and charming.

this post is about how it did not work and i don’t like him.

The Superficial Shit: I’m Not About It

i’m immune to motorcycle boys. motorcycles are impractical and loud. get a muffler. i think if you buy a motorcycle you have to sign a contract promising to idle on your motorcycle for ten minutes every morning at 6:30 so that everyone in the neighborhood knows you have a motorcycle. so i don’t care that ian is A Bad Boy.

i’m also immune to english accents. it’s just like, an accent. it’s fine. i’m supposed to find everything he does inherently charming because he has an accent and he sings, but i don’t, so, try a little harder.

like, i’m also not impressed by sporty types, but i still accepted “a cinderella story” because austin had a character progression and i could see why sam found him attractive.

ian has no character progression. he starts out confident and independent and he ends up confident and independent. he remains happily working class with a more or less successful band the entire movie. nothing daphne does affects him negatively except that one time she fucks up and blows off a concert he wanted to go to.

so as a result i’m not invested in anything he does. the only interesting thing he does is first building up daphne’s confidence and then getting mad and tearing it back down when she’s doing something he doesn’t personally find important, which is the next thing.

The Worst Boyfriend: Why Am I Not The Center Of Your Universe?

here are the first three pieces of information ian learns about daphne:

her mom is a musician

she is american

she is here to find and get to know her politician father, Lord Dashwood

he’s very supportive of this endeavor, right up until it gets difficult. he’s like, “you came all this way, he’s your dad, you should definitely meet him.”

she publicly fucks up a couple major society events and then is like, “hey, i’m putting my dad’s career in jeopardy, so in order to stay and get to know him this summer i’m gonna prioritize these events a little more.”

and ian is immediately like, “you’ve changed,” and dumps her lmfao

her lifelong drive to find and get to know her dad is one of the first things he learns about her. why does he think it’s so stupid? why am i supposed to care about his opinion?

daphne, probably: this thing is important to me. ian, probably: ok, that’s fine. daphne, probably: woof, in order to keep up with this thing i have to try a little harder. ian, probably: hm. actually, this is unimportant. daphne, probably: i’m going to do it anyway. ian, probably: what? didn’t you hear me? i just said it was unimportant. why aren’t you quitting immediately? my opinion should be your primary concern. you know what? i’m done.

i had the same problem with nate from “the devil wears prada.” i will never understand the idea of seeing someone you apparently care deeply about very stressed out trying to accomplish a goal, and being mad that they’re not super fun and interesting right then. sometimes a person you care about is going through something. let her vent and buy her some ice cream.

if your partner stops being supportive and understanding the second your life gets stressful or complicated, that’s kind of a red flag. the real test of a relationship is when you have to support each other and maintain your bond even when you’re trying to get something done, or even when you’re having a rough time and you’re in a bad mood.

ian fails this test because he’s weirdly judgmental about it all.

Attitude Stinks

before the change ian hates, daphne is late to things, she dresses casually for formal events, she gets into a screaming physical altercation with someone at a party, and because she was acting out a lot at a ball she’s blamed for the destruction of a prized, historical piece of architecture. all of these cause scandals that embarrass henry and make him look bad in tabloids. he is in the middle of a campaign for a political position, so this is bad.

after the change, daphne reaches out to her debutante grandmother for guidance and starts wearing socially acceptable clothing, goes to events where she is expected, and is quiet and respectful at an event where she’s supposed to meet the queen of england. this is all very successful for henry. people go up to him and tell him daphne’s great, and she somehow ends up in a tabloid that talks about how great she is lmfao.

all of this takes a lot of effort from daphne, though. she’s stressed out. while this works out for henry, it isn’t working for daphne. she’s doing all this so that she can be accepted by her father’s family, but the fiancee and stepdaughter don’t want her around, and henry is passive throughout all this. he doesn’t know she’s actively being bullied, but he’s also letting his fiancee direct him away from daphne. so daphne ultimately leaves.

here’s where ian comes in. ian tells her a story toward the beginning of the movie about how his mother was also an aristocrat. he tells her she was rejected by society because of classism towards ian’s father. this is framed as a demonstration of ian’s values. the fact that his mother rejected being a debutante is a source of pride for ian.

but the problem is that this is just because ian likes the choice she made. he’s not proud that his mother took control of her life and made her own decision. he’s proud that his mother rebelled. you know this because he sums up the story with this line -

daphne: what happened to your parents? ian: they’re as poor as church mice and the happiest people i know.

- and because his entire conflict in the movie is that daphne makes a different decision.

ian’s mom chose her husband over her parents and the life they wanted for her. daphne is choosing the family she’s been wanting her whole life over a guy she’s known for like, a month. ian is the biggest whiner about it. he storms out on her. she runs into him at an event and asks to talk to him, and he tells her no. he only forgives her when she quits and goes back to america.

there are a lot of dudes like this out there. he loves a strong, unique woman, as long as she fits seamlessly into his life and makes decisions he tells her to. yawn.

Makes No Sense: Why Are You Here?

ian is somehow ubiquitous in debutante society. he and his little band are hired to play at every ball daphne goes to. why??

a huge plot point is a moment where daphne attends a terribly boring coming out ball for a pair of very meek, shy twins. daphne delights the twins by going out of her way to liven up the party. she convinces ian to play loud rock music and encourages everyone at the ball to dance. the bass is too loud, though, and somehow causes an antique chandelier to fall. this is a big scandal.

the whole thing that’s emphasized during this scene is that daphne is shaking up the scene and that this music is unorthodox and unwanted at these high society type functions.

which all begs the question of why these people keep hiring a local rock band for these events. he’s playing at at least one other ball later on in the movie. the music they play doesn’t really fit in with the tone of the events, which are the kind of affairs you’d wear a tiara to. these are very formal events. why are we hiring ian and his band, and where did you guys even find him??

in the scene where daphne gets into a fight with somebody, she’s at a fancy outdoor event, the kind of place you’d wear a tea length dress and a big hat. ian is also there, working in the parking lot as a parking lot guy.

daphne’s thrilled, but she does ask why he’s there. he’s basically like, “i have lots of jobs.” for somebody who hates deb society so much, he does take a lot of jobs at deb events. why don’t you work in a restaurant or something? does that offend your punk rock whiner sensibilities?

also, he’s boring and i think daphne should go for somebody who makes her laugh.

Has Spiked Hair

lots of gel, no other info needed. wash your hair. very sculpted hair makes people seem less down to earth. it’s not relatable.

I Will Fix It

so ian doesn’t help with the plot at all. the only time he helps daphne is in the chandelier scene. the rest of the time he’s just there to date her and talk to her a lot about how cool it is to stand out and not fit in.

his role in the movie is to cause more tension and place more pressure on daphne. he behaves like she’s making a moral choice, when really she’s making a behavioral choice.

i think using him to vocalize her conflict is a mistake because it’s framed as Stand Out vs. Assimilate, when that has nothing to do with daphne’s motivation.

daphne’s Want is to be with her dad, and her Need is to be accepted and wanted. as a result, ian rejecting her because he doesn’t like the choices she’s making comes across as entitled and cruel lmao. it’s directly antithetical to daphne’s journey. she never once says anything about loving standing out.

here are the ways i think this could be fixed:

if you want it to be a moral thing, make it a moral thing.

give ian a best friend who is gay, and after daphne decides to fit in with society, she won’t be seen with the gay friend anymore. or after daphne decides to fit in, have her be super judgmental of people who aren’t succeeding as much as she is. then when she decides she’s fed up, have her stand up for them.

that would make ian being mad about her “changing” make sense. and we, the audience, would be like, “yeah, this is misguided and goes against what daphne believes.”

not breaking things or yelling at a royal event isn’t a moral stance. why are you so pressed. get a hobby

if you want her thing to be standing out, make it standing out.

standing out isn’t a conflict in the whole movie. henry’s flaw is being passive. daphne’s flaw is being embarrassing at parties because she’s clumsy and she likes to meet new people and dance and stuff. libby has no flaw except that she was a victim of classism.

the twins at the party are dowdy and shy, and daphne gives them a makeover off screen lmao. ian is single, and daphne dates him.

so make standing out the recurring issue. make daphne super obsessed with fitting in. in the very beginning, she runs into a girl she knows at a wedding. the girl is kind of privileged and successful, and daphne reveals that she’s a free spirit who doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life. instead, make her hedge and hem and haw and try to make herself seem more successful to the girl. make her Want to be fancy and part of her dad’s high society life, but her Need to “be herself.”

maybe the twins are secretly super weird and quirky, and they’re depressed trying to fit in; and their big moment revealing being cool now at the garden party is them wearing loud patterns and dancing when the music starts playing. maybe ian is super funny and goofy and the parties suck until he and daphne trick the singer into leaving the stage, and ian jumps onstage and plays a fun song.

make libby have been rejected because she always started talking politics at henry’s parties and she’s kind of radical.

maybe daphne: hey, i’m sorry, but you can’t come with me to the party next week anymore. maybe ian: what? how come, i rented a tux for this. maybe daphne: sorry. i’m trying to behave. maybe ian: haha what does that mean? you’re not trying to fit in with all those stuffy losers, are you? maybe daphne: no, i’m trying not to ruin things for my dad. it was a big deal when you were super messy at the garden party. maybe ian: wow. i seem to recall you being “messy” right along with me. sorry for embarrassing you. maybe daphne: ian, don’t take it personally. we can still hang out sometimes, i just can’t go places with you. maybe ian: no, thanks.

i don’t prefer this, because i’m an introvert and people who think someone they don’t personally find interesting are fundamentally worse, are boring and annoying. i wouldn’t find this story relatable or compelling at all. i’m 9000 years old and i’m like, “what if you guys respected each other and participated in society, though?” i wouldn’t enjoy this story. but at least it would make sense why ian’s bothered by daphne not “standing out.”

i think the entire reason this movie was made is that trailer moment from the boat scene where ian’s like, “i don’t understand why you want to fit in, when you were born to stand out!” so that’s how you can keep that dumbass line.

make ian have an arc himself.

in the movie, ian is initially helpful and gives some backstory, and then partway through the movie he gets mad at her and breaks up with her. he forgives her at the same time as henry realizes daphne’s unhappy, right at the end.

instead, make ian become helpful as the movie progresses.

so first of all, take the scene toward the beginning where he’s in the boat allegedly showing her how to practice being poised, and he tells her about his mom being a disowned deb. move this scene to the beginning of the third act.

next, make it so that ian was rejected by his grandparents. maybe ian at some point also defied his mom to seek out estranged family; but where daphne’s dad let her stay, ian’s grandparents insulted him and told him they didn’t want him around. they called him illegitimate and a mistake. so when daphne chooses to try to conform, ian is reacting to those feelings rather than projecting his own feelings of personal superiority.

and finally, make daphne try to fit in much sooner, but make her super bad at it. my roommates and i watched this movie the other night and one of them made the very good point that daphne’s grandmother and father sit her down and are like, “there is a certain way you’re supposed to behave,” but they don’t tell her how to do that.

so let’s actually keep that part. maybe daphne overcorrects. she knows she’s fucking up, so she believes she shouldn’t be doing anything fun or interesting or making conversation with anyone. this isn’t great. her charm is in how friendly, fun-loving, and proactive she is. she does what she wants and people find it refreshing. make people start to be like, “wow, lord dashwood’s daughter is kind of weird and stiff. it’s clear she isn’t used to places like this, what a rube.”

now we get to the third act, and the boat scene. in the boat, ian tells her about his family, and apologizes and offers to try and help her, if this is what she wants. now ian is playing more of an active role, and he’s contributing to her life in a positive way.

because as it is, he does nothing that i couldn’t get rid of very easily. so...

get rid of ian.

here are the effects ian currently has on the plot:

daphne riding away on the back of a motorcycle makes henry worry about her, and he realizes he’s developing paternal feelings toward her. he calls libby and libby affirms and empathizes with those feelings.

ian is in the band at the party where the chandelier is destroyed.

ian talks a lot about how daphne’s supposed to stand out.

ian stresses daphne out, which sort of artificially raises the stakes.

ian shows up right at the end to reward daphne for existing.

especially because ian’s criticisms are so disconnected from daphne’s motivations, nothing he does is particularly helpful to the plot in a way that he couldn’t be replaced.

daphne has a tattoo in the movie, and when henry sees it, he’s sort of like, wow, she’s kind of a wild child, she reminds me of me when i was young. instead of a motorcycle boyfriend, make daphne get the tattoo in london. henry calls libby like, “she just got a tattoo!” and libby is like, “i remember you holding my hand while i got my first tattoo.”

maybe the live band takes a break, and daphne sneaks up and hooks up the speakers to her ipod or something, and she plays super loud music herself.

i already talked about how pointless this is. also, we don’t need a greek chorus telling us what’s going on. show, don’t tell.

daphne is already stressed. those motivations can come from inside daphne.

why would henry seek out daphne’s ex-boyfriend and fly him out to new york to impose on daphne and her mom? this is so weird. go home.

ian is replaceable. to the left, to the left.

#long post #haters #who is this even #Anonymous #talking out of my ass

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the-lonelybarricade · 3 years

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darling dearest, i am in need of some advice and you were the first person i thought to ask (your fanfics are so deep, you have unrivaled wisdom. also you are an adult, which is very useful right now)

so, acting means a lot to me. in fact, it means the world. one of my first coherent sentences as a baby was, "mommy, i want to be on tv," so of course i developed an interest in theater.

it's my first year of high school, and my first thespian convention, and it's 500 dollars. for some context here, my parents had their first kid in high school. my mom never graduated, my dad joined the army instead of going to college. and then they had four more. on top of that, my dad's retired so we're all around dirt fuckin poor hahah. in other words, no one in this family has 500 dollars to send me (except for my middle sister, but that really is too much to ask for).

except for me! i had the money! only, it's in my college fund (which is 660 right now, no one set up a college fund for me as a baby--i only started saving two years ago). like i said, we're dirt poor and no one has the money to put me through college. my sister is a lawyer and has been practicing for years, and is still 200,000 dollars in debt from student loans. i'm having to rely on being smart to apply for scholarships and grants, and if i'm really special, i can get into harvard for free. which is such a huge deal, and one i'm kind of counting on.

even if i don't go to college, i need the money for when i ditch my home state and live in the big city for my big shot at being a successful actress. i can't do this every year. i've already decided to drop cheerleading and adv math next year so i can get a job (i'm not allowed to get one until i can drive). but i don't know if 3yrs of work will even be enough if i want to do normal teenager things and still go to college. chances are, i'm not getting into harvard, much less for free. i'm not gifted like i was as a little girl, and i think the stress would be too much. my mom says she'd help but she's saving for her own house and already getting me my own car, and she doesn't have money either. i don't think i can ask her for that.

thank you for even bothering to read this, thank you times one thousand if you respond.

Goodness lovely, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. This is such a big burden to carry and I know it must be really intimidating to think your future is restricted because of money. But take a deep breath, we're going to talk about some things, okay? I'm still new to being an adult myself, I'm in my final year of uni and money is hard.

So first let's talk about this $500 for your Thespian Convention. First, if this is a school event, a lot of schools do wave or reduce fees like this for families that can't afford it. They also may offer scholarships. I would look into seeing if that's possible, but otherwise let's talk about covering that cost from your college fund. I'm assuming from your language that you're American, which means that if you're earning the federal minimum wage (7.25/hr) it will take 60 hours of working to pay that off. That could take anywhere from 2 weeks to a month to work off if you're working part time, so you need to ask yourself if you feel like the thespian convention is worth a month of work that you could be putting towards your college fund. (Also, I know you said you can't get a job until you can drive, but maybe see if there's anything local you can do for extra money, like maybe tutoring or babysitting?). And if you can't go to this Thespian Convention, see if theres a less expensive alternative you can pursue.

Another important thing to consider is that, if acting is definitely what you want to do, you don't need to go to college to be a successful actor. Leonardo Dicaprio, Emma Stone, Ryan Gosling, there's plenty of major A-list actors that skipped college alltogether to pursue their careers. Here's a list. And if going to college is something you really, really want to do, you also don't have to go to college immediately after graduating high school.

This is something they didn't push a lot when I was in high school, and this would have been mind blowing for me when I was a freshman. In my high school going to college was like the expectation for families that could afford it. And they also offered great support for struggling families and first generation students. But I did something super unconventional for my town and I took a gap year. And that gap year changed my life. So my love, you don't need to worry about 3 years being enough time to do normal teenager things while working your butt off to pay for school. You can give yourself as many years as you need to get that money together, or to pursue your acting career or both. College is ready for you when you're ready for it. There's no set timeline. And I wish they told high schoolers that more often. I wish I was told that sooner.

But let's say that you really want to go to college and you really want to go as soon as you graduate high school. That's totally fine too! Let's talk about your options. Getting a full-ride scholarship is competitive and a lot of pressure to put on yourself. I say go for it! Go for as many as you can and apply for every scholarship available! But also give yourself the breathing space to think about other options. This is a list of no-loan colleges in the US. These are schools that will meet 100% of your financial need if you get accepted. Now the tricky thing is you still have to pay for your EFC (estimated family contribution) and sometimes your FAFSA (federal application for student aid) grossly overestimates how much your family can actually contribute. But it will definitlely eat a big chunk of that money away and there are still loan and scolarship options for that remaining sum. Also when applying for these schools a lot of them do offer an application fee waiver for families that can't afford it.

There are also loads of private scholarship available options from various companies. Talk to your high school counsellors, they *should* have great resources for finding this kind of stuff. I wish I could remember where I found all of my scholarship info, but it's been almost 5 years since I've done that research. I think maybe fastweb was something I found useful? And I also found this website and this website after a cursory google search just now. I'm sure you'll find good sources too! Freshman year is not too early to start applying to private scholarships. A lot of them are directed at seniors, but there are all kinds and sometimes they're just fun contests with small rewards, but it all adds up!f

You can also try killing two birds with one stone! See if there are any acting jobs available either in your local area or even just online! Maybe set up a fiverr and read scripts for people, or see if you can work as a counselor for a theater camp in the summer. My first job was as an acting job as a dancing penguin at a local summer festival when I was 14.

Okay and now I feel obligated to tell you something. You don't need to go to college in the US. This probably sounds outrageous as a freshman, it definitely would have to me. But I'm literally typing this from where I now live in the UK, after taking that gap year and realizing that american school is ridiculously expensive and way less cool than european schools? Do your research, there's lots of options available to you and the US is not your only one. I've saved loads of money going to school here and I'm happy as a clam. Here are some fun links.

Anyway my love, I know that was a lot of information and I'm sure none of it magically solved your problems or took that burden of your shoulders. But take a deep breath. Everything will happen in its own time and there will always be opportunities for you to pursue being an actor. There will also always be the option to decide to go to college at any point in your life. The biggest and most important thing is to just not give up. Focus on the here and now, focus on your grades, and the rest will follow. You got this, I know you do. And please, always feel free to come to me with any questions or even if you just need to rant in my inbox, I'm here <3

#Big love to you #I know it will all work out in the end

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mhdiaries · 4 years

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Wave 2 Diary of Clawdeen Wolf

September 7th

I had my first Advanced Creature Economics class today and my head is already spinning. I thought I was just going to be learning about supply and demand. I had no idea that there was so much theory involved. If I had known AC Econ was going to be this detailed… I would have taken it anyway. I have to know this stuff cause when I start my own fashion empire I won’t be able to afford to hire monsters who are experts in this stuff and when I can afford to hire experts I need to know that what they’re telling me is the truth not just what I want to hear. Too bad Ghoulia isn’t in this class I would love to be able to pick her brain on this stuff.

September 12th

Most days I feel like I could drink wolf’s bane tea from a silver chalice and ask for a refill. Today was not one of those days; although it started out like it would be. Howleen had a creepover at a friend’s house – amazingly enough she has them – and Clawd had an early morning practice so I had the shower and hot water all to myself. The new pair of shoes I’d saved for, and ordered online, arrived yesterday after school so I was going to get to wear them today. The outfit I picked was perfectly matched to the shoes and I should have gone back to bed and declared the day a success. But I didn’t. I got to school and I’m showing off my new shoes when I noticed that I somehow missed a large patch of fur on the back of my left calf. No problem right? It happens. Especially with how much I have to shave. So I always bring an extra razor with me… except today… okay still no problem cause I always keep a backup in my locker. Only this backup is as dull as Cleo’s stories about her royal life in Egypt. Class starts in five minutes and if I’m late I get detention. Ghoulia tells me it’s hardly noticeable but to me it feels like I have a sweater growing on my calf. I run to the bathroom with my razor and Draculaura comes with me. Now I have two rules about shaving.

Always use a sharp razor.

Never get in a hurry.

I broke them both and of course I ended up cutting myself which is no big deal… usually, but this time Draculaura saw the blood and fainted. I spun around to catch her and when I did the heel on my right shoe snapped. Now I’m holding a razor in one hand, I have blood running down the back of my leg, and every time Draculaura wakes up she immediately faints again. At this point in the chaos one of the alley brats I mean werecats, Purrsephone I think, walks in and immediately starts yowling “She’s killing her!” It’s the first time I’ve ever seen Headless Headmistress Bloodgood have to use her nightmare for crowd control. Eventually everything got sorted out although my day ended up with me being barefoot, bandaged and banished to detention. Yay me. :-(

September 14th

I’ve finally broken in my new pair of soccer spikes. I get strange looks from the monsters on other teams when I wear them because they have open toes. I grew up playing barefooted and I like the feel of the ball on the tops of my feet. I would still play barefooted if the rules didn’t say I had to wear shoes “for safety” – whatever. Okay, so I found these “regulation” spikes that let me play by the rules and still play comfortable. I think they were made for monsters that grow horns on the tops of their feet because there is this big open spot on top which I’ve been able to modify to my liking. I suppose I would worry about some monster stepping on my feet if I thought any of them could catch me ;)

October 7th

I don’t know what Clawd did to pull Spectra’s chain but she’s been telling any monster that’ll listen he still has feelings for Cleo. It may or may not be true – gotta consider the source of the info – but any thoughts I might have had about having dealt with my hard feelings towards Cleo were definitely wrong. I do know this; Her Royal Annoyance and I are about to have a talk and it is going to happen sooner rather than later – I’ll bet my favorite pumps on that.

October 12th

Can some monster please explain to me why I have to write an essay on my heritage when I have an older brother who’s already written one? I asked Headless Headmistress Bloodgood if I could just sign my name at the bottom of Clawd’s but she insisted that I write my own because “although the horse and rider travel the same road together each sees it from a different perspective.” I hate it when she trots out that horse philosophy. Of course Clawd wrote his essay first and took all the easy stuff that every monster already knows. How about this? Werewolves are pack monsters and from the time we are born we’re part of a huge extended family. Aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews and grandparents are always around. We have our own language, which doesn’t have a word for privacy, that is spoken only in the presence of other pack members… I won’t even break this rule… and when an alpha from one pack greets an alpha from another pack, the first says, “The pack is strength” and the other replies, “The pack is life.” I could go on about the traditions, pack rivalries, the passage to alpha status, blah, blah, blah. Maybe then I should write something from a totally different perspective like about how I consider my friends as part of my pack too. Draculaura, Frankie, Lagoona, Ghoulia, Cleo… Cleo and Deuce; that’s a vampire, lab creation, sea monster, zombie, mummy and Gorgon – maybe not a pack by birth but definitely a pack nonetheless. We have traditions, rivalries, our own freakishly fab, scary cool language and of course everyone knows who the pack alpha is… Ghoulia ;)

October 13th

Never thought I would actually be sitting in my room wishing that my hair would grow faster… I’ve had a lot of hairstyles but never one so bad that I had to shave it all off and start over. I heard Howleen asking Clawd if she could borrow some batteries for her camera. If that little weredork takes a picture of me I’m going to duct tape her to the bottom of her bed.

October 16th

Frankie and Draculaura bought me a scare package at the Maul to help cheer me up about my hair, which was really scary sweet of them. Of course they wouldn’t have known about my hair if Clawd hadn’t told them. Almost makes me feel bad I brought out the family picture albums and showed them shots of him as a cub… almost.

October 18th

Dear Clawd,

Thanks for the real story on what happened between you and Cleo – finally. You know I totally respect that you are an honorable monster who keeps his word but I just spent an entire year being angry about something I shouldn’t have. I will take some of the responsibility for not asking you directly about the situation but I guess I just made a monster assumption about Cleo and ran with it. Don’t get me wrong, I still think she’s arrogant, demanding and an absolute hearse wreck when it comes to her fashion sense, but I guess I’ve got to give her credit for not adding two-timer to that list. Might be time to patch things up in my MH pack. From now on though, I promise that I will ask you directly and not jump to conclusions. Even if you tell me to go howl somewhere else :-)

October 22nd

OH MY GHOUL! Howleen “borrowed” my favorite corduroy jacket and wiped her nose on the sleeve – so disgusting!!! I swear sometimes she acts like she was raised by humans. Honestly I don’t even know how we’re related. Somewhere my real sister, the fashionable one who would rather wear a pair of shoes THAN CHEW THEM, is waiting for her fairy god monster to switch her out with this furry gargoyle thing that has obviously taken her place.

October 26th

Draculaura? Really Clawd? So out of all the ghouls at Monster High you decide to get the warm and furries for my best friend and confidante? Whatever. I’m fine with it. Really, really, really fine with it. My heart feels like it’s slowly being crushed inside my chest but the rest of me is just really, really fine.

#monster high #monster high diary #clawdeen wolf #wave 2

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recurring-polynya · 4 years

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I’m a huge RenRuki fan so I’m stoked to find this page of glorious work and active engagement relating to this topic I could go on about! I was wondering... during their separation, do you think Renji and Rukia slept with/dated other people? One more than the other? Just wanna know your insight since you put so much depth into their relationship. I love it. (I personally like to think that Renji had a bit of a “hoe phase” especially while he was in the 11th)

Tumblr is so great, I can’t believe people actually value my opinion on this stuff (this is absolutely one of my favorite topics). Thank you so much for your kind words, and I am ecstatic for the opportunity to pontificate on this topic.

Just to clarify, if you were asking for my opinion on the source material, and I had to “support my opinion” or “cite references”, my actual interpretation of canon is that no, they were absolutely celibate during this time. Rukia had a cute li’l crush on her vice-captain and Renji probably went on one very heterosexual date with a girl once and felt bad about it for a year.

When I am being generous and world-buildy, I like to consider the fact that shinigami are souls. They do not have bodies or hormones and so I can get behind the idea that bonds of family and friendship are far more important than sex and attraction, because those are fundamentally earthly concerns. In the hands of a thoughtful, talented, preferably ace writer, this could be an incredibly interesting setting but that is, uh, not consistent with any other aspect of Soul Society, including the fact that they sell sexy calendars of the captains, plus Kubo took the time out to canonically remind us that Soul Reapers poop and have babies.

So, instead, here is the horny Polynya headcanon version, which is what you probably wanted anyway. I’m putting it under a cut because it gets a little R-rated, and also it’s hella long, but the short answer is Renji absolutely had a slutty phase.

Some people headcanon that Rukia and Renji were actually in a romantic relationship at the time of her adoption, and if that’s your reading of it, and you want to believe that they waited for each other out of loyalty, I suppose I can get behind that.

I don’t think they were together, though. I waver from time to time about how physical their affection got in Rukongai, but I think they fell in love and never admitted it. When their last friend died, they both became absolutely terrified of losing the other, so they came to the Seireitei in order to get strong and not die. I don’t think Rukia ever wanted to be Soul Reaper, to be honest. Given the strength of her principles and her particular moral code, I do think she is a great one, in the style of “I would never want to be in a club that would have me in it.” Consistent with Oetsu’s trial in the Royal Realm, I think Renji was born (died?) to be a Soul Reaper and Rukia knew this and also that he would never go unless she went with him. She absolutely regarded getting him into Shin’ou as saving his life and getting him where he belonged.

Once they were in school, I think they had to keep their distance socially if they wanted to succeed. The Gotei runs entirely on nepotism, and Rukongai kids who don’t adapt are looking at Squad 11 or 4, best case scenario. Even if they were aware of their feelings for each other, they had to play it cool for now. Renji is a long-term planner, and I think he set his sights on pass tests -> graduate -> get Gotei position -> live happily ever after with Rukia. Rukia is not so good at long term planning, and also not so good at formal education and I think she just got depressed and salty, especially because she was never sure if he actually returned her feelings or not. I absolutely think that when she accepted the adoption, she assumed she was leaving Renji to his live his best life, and at least going somewhere she was wanted.

Even though we, the reader, are presented this story as a tragedy, in many ways, this is exactly what they had hoped for. They lived. That’s it. That’s all they ever wanted. Renji got to have his perfect job and Rukia got to live in indescribable luxury. They are both so, so happy about this and have no idea why their faces are so wet right now.

The last thing either of them wants, to be honest, is the other one pining after them. They have each accepted trudging through their life in misery because they think they have made the other happy. There’s a scene were Byakuya shows up to the Squad 6 holding cells to announce to Rukia that he has no plans to save her, and Renji looks just devastated, not just because Rukia’s gonna die, but because he thought he was sending her to happiness.

Also, on a meta level, I am middle aged, and for me, the romance of only ever being with one person is boring as hell. The idea that they would get together and lose their virginity to each other just makes me indescribably tired. Childhood-friends-to-lovers isn’t actually that interesting to me-- it is the separation itself that makes it spicy-- that they went off and had other life experiences-- and sexual experiences, and came back found that they loved this person even more now.

I headcanon Rukia as very horny and pro-sex in theory, but has is a big problem of opportunity. On one hand, I think she and Byakuya have a firm don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy, where as long as she stays out of the gossip columns, he doesn’t care what she does. On the other hand, though, I feel like secret affairs are kinda hard to manage, especially since she entered the noble network late in life. Anyway, I figure she’s had a number of casual affairs, mostly with other nobles who are invested in not getting caught, and also do not have any interest in any sort of emotional attachment. I think Rukia is absolutely bi, and mostly slept with ladies because they were more likely to be discreet, although there was probably a dude or two in there somewhere. Rukia only has two relatinship modes-- detached and ride-or-die, and she was very careful to keep everything in category 1, because she had no expectation of ever having a functional relationship that would go anywhere; no one she was actually interesting in being with would ever pass Kuchiki muster. I think she tried dating a nice boy from Squad 8 once, and everyone in Squad 13 thought it was the cutest thing they had ever seen. They went on three dates and never kissed and Rukia hated it and never did it again. She let herself have a huge crush on both Kaien and Miyako Shiba, because she was absolutely sure it could never go anywhere, and that definitely played into her devastation at their death. She may have had some Bad Decisions Sex in the wake of that, but I think for the most part, the affairs became more trouble than they were worth, and she’s been on a pretty long dry spell around the time we meet her.

That being said, I think Rukia is a lady who takes care of herself, if you get my drift. I think she has an extensive collection of erotic romance novels, a good imagination, and Kuchiki money worth of self-service sex toys. I think by the time she and Renji actually hook up, she has decades worth of pent up fantasies, and fortunately for her, he is intrigued by her ideas and would like to sign up for her newsletter, please and thank you.

Speaking of Renji, let’s talk about Renji! After Rukia left, I think Renji Made Some Plans and buckled down into a long, hard haul of Making Himself Worthy of Seeing Rukia Again. He made it through school, he went into Squad 5 with Izuru and Momo and... lost 90% of his momentum. This is exactly the scenario of the kid who busts ass through college to follow their dream, and then two years into their dream job, realizes that they are going to be formatting pivot tables in Excel for the next 15 years before they get to do anything remotely interesting. At this point, Renji is young, hot, bisexual, inked, and not very satisfied with his day job, and Thus Began the Ho Period.

Momo and Izuru hate this. They hate it so much. They have both had big crushes on Renji since school and they are right there. It wouldn’t be so bad if he would find a nice sweet partner that they like, but no, he just goes off on weeknights and comes home reeking of alcohol and covered in hickeys and ruining his career even though his job performance is actually fine. The fact is, even though he has always acted like he doesn’t know, of course he knows they like him, he’s not dumb, but Izuru and Momo are the type of people who mate for life, and Renji absolutely knows how badly he would break their hearts. He can’t even talk about it with them, all he can do it pretend like he doesn’t notice and hope they’ll realize what trash he is. He still loves Rukia and will always love Rukia and has made peace with the idea that he will likely never get to be with her-- he’s still working towards it because he must, because it would kill him to give up, but he knows that he’s only good for a fight or a fuck and not much else. Their friendship gets increasingly strained until Momo and Izuru can’t understand anything he does and he can’t stand them caring so damn much.

Anyway, this escalates in deciding to leave Nice, Respectable Squad 5 entirely, and joining the French Foreign Legion Squad 11. Squad 11 respects a man’s right to wallow, and Renji takes a swan dive to rock bottom. His only saving grace is his training with Ikkaku, which he takes absolutely seriously. Yumichika eventually takes interest in Renji, and teaches him how to take care of his hair and have standards. Yumichika and Ikkaku realize that if they can make him Functional, they can get him to do paperwork, so they help him beat the Sixth Seat and let him start hanging out with their friends.

Renji is still sleeping around at this point, but at least he’s sleeping around with a better class of people. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, Polynya, has Matsumoto ever pegged Renji? (You probably weren’t actually thinking that) The answer is yes, Matsumoto has absolutely pegged Renji, and she was utterly delighted to give Rukia tips later on. Rukia does not begrudge Renji his slutty period in the least, because she knows that, given the opportunity, she probably would have been Worse, and also, he’s slept with 3/4 of the Gotei and picked her out of all of them, and also, he’s just incredible at oral.

The slutty phase tapered off when Renji had a bit of an actual relationship with Shuuhei. First of all, they are absolutely each other’s types, physically. Secondly, Shuuhei (whom I headcanon as significantly less pathetic and more bisexual than in canon) would be able to handle being in a relationship that is fun and supportive, even if it’s not destined to last. He is well aware that Renji is devoted to beating Captain Kuchiki and that he’s never going to truly be able to be in love with anyone until he gets some closure with Rukia, but that’s a long way off, and Shuuhei’s got his own baggage, who doesn’t have baggage? So they sleep together and go to the bar together and hold hands sometimes and tool around on the motorbike and wear a lot of leather and Hisagi cooks Renji food and Renji eats it and they’re pretty happy for a few years.

Eventually, around the time he gets serious about trying to make vice-captain, Renji starts to hang out with Izuru and Momo again, who have recently made vice-captain themselves, and are really happy to see that he’s gotten himself back on the wagon. He’s started thinking about Rukia a lot again, and he’s feeling a little bad because he loves Shuuhei, but he’s not in love with Shuuhei, and also, Shuuhei and Izuru have started looking at each other when they go out drinking, so Renji claims he needs to concentrate on the vice-captain’s exam and they have some nice breakup sex and then he sliiiiiides on outta there like a good bro and is very happy for his friends when they start hooking up.

Did that cover it? Boy, I had a lot of thoughts on that, huh? To summarize: They both saw other people. Renji had way more sex, just a tremendous amount of sex, but always carried a torch for Rukia (not really intentionally, I think he would have liked to be able to get over her, he just couldn’t), whereas I think she really did give up on him for a while.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, please read my fanfiction, where I am constantly hinting at all this stuff, I swear I will eventually finish that Squad 11 story.

#renruki #bleach headcanons #rukia kuchiki #renji abarai #i have at least 3 in-progress fanfics that tackle various aspects of this #maybe i should... finish one?#¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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kirinda-ondo · 4 years

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Personal Astro Verse Part 2 - Main Characters

Atom/"Astro"

Atom is one of the world's most advanced robots, frequently referred to as "The Child of Science." He's packed to the brim with incredible abilities, both physical and mental, while also being kind, compassionate, and essentially human. He's considered practically perfect, making him the best candidate to bridge the gap between humans and robots.

...Once you get to know him, however, you'll find he's not much different from any other kid his age. He goes to school, plays games, and argues with his siblings just like the rest of us. In fact, he's kind of a huge nerd. He gets very excited about science (Which field? All of them) and can frequently be found at the Ministry of Science either helping Prof. Ochanomizu or the other scientists there. As a hobby, he's also quite fond of Entomology (the study of insects) and Malacology (the study of gastropods like snails, slugs, etc.) and has a fairly sizeable collection of various bugs and snails. Unfortunately, he doesn't have nearly as much time for hobbies as he'd like.

Having so much expected of him has made him into something of an overachiever with a perfectionist complex to boot. He tries to keep it all under wraps so as to avoid worrying anyone, but his tendency to completely stress out whenever failure becomes even a remote possibility, or his tendency to get overly wrapped up in his pet causes often betray that "I have everything under control" exterior he likes to push. While he means well, he tends to come off as being a little bossy because he feels like he's expected to always be the most mature person in the room, and generally acts as the straight man in contrast to his siblings. However, he's not completely above engaging in shenanigans with them or unleashing some Grade A Snark(TM).

Though he may not be as perfect as everyone seems to think, he's still a very kind, responsible, all around good kid with a strong sense of justice. He'll always stop to help someone in need, supports those he cares about, and stands by what he thinks is right, even if no one else agrees; which more than earns him his status as a hero.

Fun Fact: Once, a news headline referred to him as an "Astro Boy" in order to sound catchy and attention grabbing. He was confused at first, but everyone around him agreed that "Astro" sounded really cool, so the nickname stuck to the point where he tends to get called that more than his actual name. Many adults in his life still call him Atom, though.

Uran

Uran is Atom's little sister, built for him as a birthday present. However, she seems to make a point of defying all expectations such a description would create about her. Though she was built for him, she's very much her own person. Though she's a little girl, she's a huge powerhouse in her own right. Though she's cute, she's also a huge tomboy. She doesn't want to be put into a box.

The one thing she is most proud to be though is a little sister. It means she can get away with more mischief since she's young and cute. She also considers it her sworn duty as a little sister to do everything in her power to get on her older brothers' nerves. In fact, it's probably her favorite pasttime, next to Robotting (essentially robot wrestling), and she often combines the two to get surprise attacks in on her siblings when they least expect it. She gets many complaints that she doesn't act "ladylike" as a result, but all those do is make her rowdier out of spite.

She's incredibly honest with herself and others. She'll tell you exactly what she thinks, even if it sounds blunt (and most of the time, it is). If she feels like she's gone too far, she'll apologize, but usually she defends herself as calling it like it is. She may be blunt, but she's very perceptive, often noticing things about others that they've yet to notice about themselves. This gives her sort of a knack for dealing with animals, and also frequently makes her the voice of reason in emotional matters.

Though she may seem abrasive or bratty, she's by no means a bad kid. She does have a softer side and genuinely loves her brothers as much as she loves annoying them. Her emotional intelligence also makes her a good source of honest wisdom and support. Her heart is definitely in the right place at least (...for the most part).

Fun Fact: While she thought her Robotting career was over after her brief stint in the professional ring, the standards have since changed a bit to be less deadly (i.e., no more permanent destruction of robots who lose matches). There's even a junior Robotting league now, and she's basically the champion of her school's team.

Cobalt

Cobalt is the oldest, being a prototype of Atom. He's just as powerful, and the two could even be mistaken for one another at a glance, but that's where the similarities end. He lacks all of the special abilities and was initially deemed defective due to imperfections in his electronic brain and scrapped as a result. While Atom is essentially perfect, Cobalt is very, very flawed.

Despite all this, he's generally a pretty happy, goofy kid with his head frequently in the clouds (which is fitting given that he likes aviation and really wants to fly--). He's very optimistic and refuses to give up, even if it flies in the face of everything else, and is the type to find humor (however corny) in even the worst situations. He also has a lot of faith in people and is very trusting of everyone he meets, even if it's obvious he shouldn't be. This hasn't worked out for him yet, but he continues on anyway. At the very least, he gets along well with his siblings. He tries to be a responsible big brother, but he tends to get undermined a bit (either by others or himself) and winds up being a part of the shenanigans anyway.

While he is genuinely a pretty positive person, he's also got a cripplingly low self-esteem and an inferiority complex to boot. He genuinely believes he's stupid with no real strengths of his own. However, that’s hardly the case; he merely has some coordination, memory and focus issues. In fact, he's actually a very creative thinker, and while some of his thoughts may seem out there, he's very good at finding unconventional solutions to problems (which works well as he doesn't like to fight). But like most with low self-esteems, he doesn't give himself enough credit.

Though he's not always appreciated enough for it, he still continues to do his best to be kind and help people in need, never giving up hope that things will get better. His unyielding optimism is frequently a source of inspiration for his siblings, even if he doesn't realize it.

Fun Fact: Cobalt is my favorite and I’ve already written about him at great length, so if you want more Cobalt Facts then check out these posts

Chi-Tan

Chi-tan is basically Shrodinger's Super Robot Baby in that you have no idea if he still exists unless I decide to make him relevant for joke or plot purposes.

Where does he go when he’s not relevant?

Don’t worry about it.

He’s fine.

Probably.

#kateh rambles #personal astro verse

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teeforhee · 3 years

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Fuck, I'm not sure I'll ever get over how much CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health service, it's the under-18s mental health service in Scotland) let me down as a kid.

It's like this. You're 11 and you're traumatised but you're scared of using that word, you don't know if you're allowed it, but you are traumatised. And you're so anxious you can't breathe most of the time, you can't sit down and speak to any of your friends, you can do your school work but you keep falling apart and everything feels like it's getting worse all the time. You don't fit in, you're weird and awkward but your schoolwork is good so you aren't worrying about your grades, you're not even sure why you feel this way (it's unprocessed trauma, but again, you don't feel like you're allowed that word). You're s/hing and struggling with suicidal ideation, and you're lucky enough to still trust authority figures, so you do what everyone says you should. You trust an adult. And she calls your GP, who is another adult you choose to trust, who you bare your heart to with all of these symptoms that make your feel sick to even acknowledge, and then they make you an appointment with CAMHS. You came in asking for treatment. They referred you to CAMHS. They did not explain what CAMHS was other than what the letters stood for. That's okay - it's treatment, right? They're gonna help. You can talk this through and they'll help- just gotta be careful you don't get institutionalised. You don't want that, yet.

You talk to a CAMHS worker. She's a psychologist. She says it's very likely you have autism to your mother after your first session. Your mother broaches the topic gently. You are overjoyed: there's an answer! oh fuck, this explains so much! but it's not treatment. It's a word. The psychologist puts you on a waiting list and you have 22 sessions of CBT with her, trying to unpack your trauma and trying to build up coping skills. So many of them feel like just denying the truth, so many of them feed into your magical thinking ("the one thing you can control is your thoughts, you must always control your thoughts, good things will happen when you control your thoughts and stop thinking the bad thoughts"), but it's treatment, mostly. You stop seeing her twice- once because you are trying to develop an eating disorder and having a mental health professional who wants to hear how you're doing is totally cramping your style (I wasn't actually trying to develop an ED really, I was trying to cope in ways other than s/h, in ways that felt honest to the situation and real and gave me a sense of control that "controling my thoughts" just wasn't doing). You come back for recovery. You tell her you want an eating plan. By the time she even considers an appointment with a nutritionist, you've moved past that stage in your recovery on your own. You stop seeing her again because you get into an abusive relationship who doesn't really like you having contact with people who aren't him, and he super super doesn't like you not being able to talk to him for a whole hour every week. That part isn't their fault: no one could be gotten me out of that until I decided to; believe me, everyone around me tried, and it didn't work until I wanted I to, the third time.

But I left, again, I was without support for 6 months, and when I came back it was after my father (the earliest source of my trauma) had died. They take 4 sessions compiling evidence as to what treatment i needed going forward, without telling me that was what they were doing (I was trying to build trust with an adult again after 6 months of constant reinforcing that I couldn't trust anyone but my abuser), and then an appointment with a psychiatrist and your mother and a new psychologist. They dismiss and justify the symptoms that most worry me, they have at this point turned down my request to be institutionalised multiple times (including after an aborted suicide attempt, I presume they thought that was fine because made it clear that I did want to live), and they say at the end of the meeting that they are going to give me an official diagnosis of autism and that after that CAMHS has nothing more to offer me.

They say that if after 22 sessions with a psychologist I am still struggling so much (bear in mind that probably close to half of those sessions I was concealing factors that were actively making my mental health worse and which were traumatising me) I clearly can't gain anything more from their service, and anyway, autism isn't a mental illness and CAMHS as a service can only help while waiting for/trying to get a diagnosis, or if you have a diagnosis or a disorder for which they could provide specialist treatment. My very obvious PTSD? nah, no big-T Traumas, and c-ptsd is way too hard to diagnose. I receive a hilarious letter detailing all of the evidence (I mean genuinely insightful but also fucking hilarious and I do want to note down funniest bits and post them hear at some point, stuff like "unusual speech was noted, (exclamations of 'wacky!' while describing his symptoms)") and then they refer me to a charity which, at time of writing, I have had 1 assessment phone call with, and am waiting for a call back for my next and first proper appointment.

They did not inform me when I was first referred that CAMHS is a diagnostic and specialist treatment service and if they did (this was well over two years ago now, I don't remember word-for-word what my GP told me), they did not tell me that meant that they would kick me out to a charity once they figured they couldn't label me with anything requiring specialist treatment. During our last sessions they were unyeildingly focussed on the trauma of my father dying and of the "shock" of my diagnosis (that I had been waiting for for 2 years. yes, very shocking/s) when those were not my biggest problems. My relationship with my father is complex and I won't get into it here, but suffice it to say that his death was the last step on a very, very long journey, and honestly one of the least traumatising.

I let them keep the focus there because I desperately hate talking about the actual, recent, debilitating trauma of being in lockdown with an abusive partner for 6 months. That shit hurts, I can't even say his name, but that is the thing that I need to unpack if I'm ever going to be able to go outside in the sun again.

Repeatedly ignoring the requests I made for specific treatment until past the point where I needed it anymore, not informing me how the service I was going to be working with for 2 years even worked in something so basic as "what is this for? what will happen to me if I get a diagnosis they can't give me specialised care for?", telling an 11 year old child that suicidal ideation is "not that serious", a fundamental misunderstanding of what I needed and wanted to hear ('normal' is not a helpful word. 'normal' tells me 'suck it up, everyone experiences this and they're all fine, you're normal, just think better' why are they all so adamant that I am normal? Not even considering my mental health I am an autistic bisexual gnc trans guy, we went past whatever 'normal' means a long time ago, fucking listen to me), at every single step of the way this system has left me in the same state I was before, the only improvement being through support from my friends, fucking Childline (gd fucking bless Childline volunteers, but still, I shouldn't have been getting so little support that that felt like my only option), mental health masterposts on Tumblr, chats with my (luckily) very nice guidance counselor (they're called pastoral teachers here but I know most folks reading this are American or are most familiar with the American school system) and what amounts to gritting my teeth and getting through it.

It was worth it, of course my life was worth it, of course I say the same thing every person who's attempted suicide says, I'm more grateful than words could possibly express that I survived, that I get to go home in a few minutes and feed my kitten and write and message my friends, but for fucks sake it didn't need to be this hard. And it doesn't need to be this hard. I'm not out of the woods yet, I'm still waiting on that second appointment with this charity, I'm still 3+ months behind at school, and I'm one of the lucky ones. My boyfriend has been hurt worse by CAMHS, left even more isolated than I was, even more traumatised by the way he was treated, and every single person I know who's been in this system agrees that it's deeply, deeply flawed.

I don't want people to have competitions over who's medical experiences are worse, who's country has the worst mental health system, who's been the most traumatised by their psychiatrists or lack thereof, please. Please don't make this the suffering Olympics. I'm just making this post cause I know, I know that other people have had similar experiences, whether with CAMHS or whatever their equivalent is. Mental health services need serious reform that puts patients first, listens to their needs and requests, that is well funded and well staffed by people who care about their patients wellbeing more than they care about controling other people's lives.

Austerity in the UK is a huge reason why this happened the way it did- my first psychologist left the service to go work somewhere that pays better, leaving just one newly-graduated psychologist that clearly had no idea what she was doing and didn't care to sympathise or show compassion for me.

This shit needs to change, because kids need help, and this is not good enough.

#mine #newt writes #oh boy ask to tag #tw s/h mention #tw school #suicidal ideation #tw eating stuff #tw food #tw eating #ed mention #tw suicide mention #ok to rb

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