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#anyway. still. i want a guy i can cry around and still be safe with.
hawkinsquarry · 3 days
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all things must pass (steve x reader)
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summary: steve makes you leave him at the end of the world.
contains: steve x reader; gender unspecified reader; no pronouns used for reader; post-st4; unresolved angst; probably too much swearing :/
i miss this guy and i’m feeling insane over him so have some angst with an ambiguous ending 🫶🏻
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Steve’s feet feel particularly heavy when we steps across your foyer. And the packet he has in his hands feels even heavier. He brushes off a few specs of ashes before slamming them down on the table in front of you, lazily eating cereal.
“What the hell is this?” you ask after a moment, grabbing the ledger on top. You know immediately it’s an airline ticket. It makes you feel sick and you push your Cheerios away as your eyes scan the details.
FROM-TO
IND > LA
You want to fucking kill him but you don’t have a chance as he breezes past, grabbing your suitcase out of your walk in closet.
“You depart in twelve hours,” he starts. He recited it in his head the entire way over to make the conversation easier, but the words are hard to get out. “Only take your essentials. When you’re there, a chauffeur will pick you up and take you to the - the - the location.”
“Steve, I’m not fucking going -“
“Yes, you are.” He says sternly. Like you’re a child.
“I’m not going anywhere without you!”
And he know this was coming - this cyclical argument you’ve been having for the last three weeks, your tears, the lump in his throat, uncertainly fogging both of your vision. But it doesn’t make it any easier, any less frustrating.
He says your name low and quiet. A plea. “This is safe. This is where the - the - the people I know told me to send you. That it’s the safest place.”
“And we’re trusting those people now?”
“No. W-well, yes! It - it’s - just - trust me, not them. Okay?” He settles your suitcase on the couch and starts moving around your living room for things he knows you’ll need. A blanket. Medicine. “Anywhere away from here is better, anyway.”
“So you admit it isn’t safe?”
Steve sniffles. “I never said it was.”
You follow him to your bedroom where he begins ripping clothes from your closet. He doesn’t miss the hoodie he leant you a few months ago. It’s laid on top of your suitcase with more shirts and pants.
You grab his arm and try to force it to fall back to his side, but he’s too strong, god damn him. “Steve, quit!” you beg, digging your heels into the ground and tugging on him. “I’m not leaving, Steve. I’m not going unless you go with me.”
“We talked about this.”
As nauseam, in fact. Until the ache in Steve’s throat was excruciating. Until your voice was hoarse and you were heaving. He’s not leaving, and you are.
You tug on him again. “I’ll keep talking about it until you listen to me!”
He doesn’t say anything. Just keeps moving back and forth between your closet and the suitcase. You cry, as hard as you try not to. You really are like a petulant child, stomping your foot, throwing a tantrum. You feel like it’s the only way he’ll listen, but you know the reality is that he still won’t.
“What about me?” you cry. You’re so angry at him, want to say something that’ll make him hurt. That’ll change the expression on his stoic face. You find it in you to refrain. “What about us, Steve?”
Keeps packing. Head down. Jaw clenched tight. He was ready for this fight when he walked in.
“Steve, let the goddamn military handle it. Do - do you honestly think you’re going to save the world?”
“No,” he snaps.
“Then what?”
He doesn’t answer because you already know why. Because he can’t leave Dustin, and Dustin can’t leave El, because apparently she can save the world. And Robin won’t leave Steve who won’t leave Dustin who won’t leave El. And Nancy fucking Wheeler won’t leave Mike who won’t leave El.
It makes you feel insane. Your blood boils and spills over, and over, and over, and it never just depletes. You keep going, keep arguing, trying to talk him out of it until your voice is hoarse. It’s hoarse now, in fact. Last night Steve held you until you shut up, until you cried yourself to sleep, and you had no idea he had already got you a plane ticket out of here. You feel so betrayed it makes your stomach twist and chest ache.
“I can’t live without you,” you try. It’s the third time you’ve pulled this and it seems to get him the most. “Steve, I don’t know what I’d do if - if….”
Steve bites his cheek, stilling, his hands clutching one of your sweaters.
“Why don’t you care?” you push.
He sniffles again, pinches his nose. You’d prefer it if he’d just let himself cry. He’d give in, then, if he let his emotions take over.
“Don’t you love me?”
“Jesus, yes,” he grits, finally looking at you. His eyes are red. “Why do you think I’m makin’ you leave, huh? Why do you think I’m staying?”
“Because you think you’re something you’re not!”
He runs a big hand through his hair so harshly you fear it’ll get tugged out. He walks towards you, holding his arms out, murmuring, “honey,” and as much as it pains you, you back away.
“Don’t,” you say sharply. Your throat aches. “Don’t do that, Steve.”
“I love you.” He sounds exhausted. “I love you, please believe me.”
“If you love me, then come with me.”
“There won’t be a world for us to live in unless we stop this.”
“You aren’t going to save the world.” You’re so desperate for him to listen to you. “The chances are so slim, Steve. Why can’t we love each other while we have time?”
Steve takes a shaky breath. “I won’t let you die without doing something about it first.”
You stare at each other. It’s suddenly dawning on you that nothing you’ll do will ever change his mind. That his chances of living through the next few days are slim. That this is the last time you’ll get to see him. While he’s packing for you and forcing you to take a plane to California.
There’s nothing romantic about it. It’s not like what you’ve seen in the movies you rented from Family Video when Steve had a shift. Before he was yours. When you went because the forest green vest looked so good on him, and he always had some goofy recommendation, and he let his hands touch yours when giving you your change for a moment too long.
You’ve hardly even had him.
“So that’s it?” You can hardly hear yourself.
“I’m doing this for you. I’m doing everything for you. And - and i-if it works, I swear I’ll make it up to you. I swear, angel.”
You shake your head, hot tears making their way down your jaw. “No.”
He stills. Looks a little like a deer in headlights. Caught off guard, shocked. Mouth parting slightly before closing again, like he wants to argue but can’t.
What is there to say?
“If you make me get on that plane, Steve….” You shake your head again, swallowing the ache in your throat down.
You stare at each other again. His eyes are one of your favorite things about him. Those saccharine, chestnut and moss colored irises. They scrunch up when he laughs. You used to think about leaving Hawkins and moving somewhere nice, so far away from all of this that Steve grows up to have crows feet around his eyes. That you’d be the one who put them there. And this is the last time you’ll see them.
“You have to go,” he eventually sniffles.
“Please,” you try, for the final time.
He blinks slowly, frowning, chest rising and falling slowly. “I love you,” he whispers. “Please believe me.”
You’re not sure if you can.
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poems-of-a-lover · 10 months
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need a boy who will see me break down and cry and still not view me any differently
63 notes · View notes
chaepink · 5 months
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can u make headcannons on sub!yan’s tendencies in the relationship?
also can i be 🉑 or 🌝 anon?
dating sub!yandere boys hcs ♡
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sub!yandere boys when they date you.
wc: 1.1k+ words | masterlist
dom!fem!reader, unhealthy relationship, mention of killing/murder, both sfw and nsfw!, mention of feminization, bondage
note: yes you can be 🌝 anon!
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— your yandere would be possessive of you, even more compared to when you two were just friends
— well, you thought you two were just friends. he already assumed you two were together sometime earlier during his friendship with you
— he would do anything for you in order to make sure you're happy and safe
— a friend of yours is getting too touchy with you? well the next day that friend is ignoring you and when you confront them, they look at you scared and quickly scurry away from you. did your yandere do something to them? surely not
— a weird guy keeps following you around your neighborhood? well a couple of days later you see on the news that his body has been found near a river and weirdly enough, you havent seen your yandere on the days before the guy's death
— you complain to your yandere about how a teacher gave you a bad grade on something you worked so hard on? suddenly your grade changes to a A and that same exact teacher suddenly resigns from the school
— he'll try his best to know where you are most of the time and try to follow you back home to make sure you're safe (though its really obvious, you don't acknowledge him so he thinks he's actually doing something)
— but no matter how scary and possessive they are of you, they just want to be good for you, really
— its almost as if they're a puppy for you, always there for your beck and call
— give them a simple command and they'll do it immediately, no questions asked
— ask them to buy you a snack from the nearest store? he'll return back with a bagful of others that he thought you would like
— they're super clingy and always want to be near you
— somehow they manage to have the same exact classes that you have and at the same time. maybe you guys are just lucky? little do you know that your yandere hacked into the principal's computer to change his schedule to fit with yours
— if you're sick, they would immediately fetch you some medicine and make so many bowls of your favorite soup that you're not sure you could finish them all
— they would be so sad when you're sick cause that means they can't be as close as they usually are with you :(
— in bed, nothing changes at all. rather, he becomes even more infatuated with you
— they're still so good and obedient for you, always following your commands. its cute
— like what i said with him doing it with no hesitation, your yandere is eager to do what you say
— tell him to get on his knees? say less as he's already doing so, staring up at you with such innocent eyes
— tell him to open his mouth for you to stick your fingers inside? he opens wide and sticks out his tongue in such a sinful manner, hazy eyes absolutely begging you to make him choke on your fingers as drool drips down his chin
— order him to suck your strap and get it all wet? he's quick to get in between your legs and get his hands on the fake dick, his mouth going straight to bobbing it up and down and gagging as it hits the back of his throat. he'll try to subtly grind his hard on against your foot without you noticing but you do anyways but he's being a good boy so you allow it
— and oh my god is he so shameless in public
— no hesitation in telling you what he wants you to do to him when there are people around
— you'll be at brunch with some of your friends and suddenly you'll feel a hot breath on your ear, such sinful words coming soon after
"im wearing lingerie under my clothes, your favorite set too. wouldn't you like to just ruin me right here and now? make me cry and look so pretty while you show everyone im yours?"
— safe to say that you immediately dragged him to the family bathroom and fingered him until he was gripping onto you for dear life, begging and crying out for you to stop and take pity on him (he's lying about wanting you to stop)
— when you're out with errands or just at work, he'll take such sinful pictures of himself to send to you randomly
— the pictures would include his legs spread out, a obvious bulge in his underwear, and something adorning his body whether its lingerie, a maid outfit, or rope that's tied so tightly on him
— if he's feeling like teasing you even more, he'll send whimpering audios that beg you to come home and fuck him and if you listen close enough, you'll hear some wet noises that let you know that he's masturbating
"f-fuck, [name] come back s-soon, please? i-i miss you so much! i- ah! i-im wearing your favorite outfit right now! i'll be a g-good ngh boy waiting for you ♡"
— itll end up with you rushing home after you're finished to fuck him dumb in that outfit, making it stained with his tears and cum
— he knows you can't really get him pregnant but your yandere just loves those straps with cum in them that you can just shoot inside him whenever you're fucking him fast and rough
— that'll make his eyes roll back and head throw backwards as he lets out such a loud mewl at the feeling of your fake cum filling him up
— and afterwards he'll tease you by using his fingers to push the cum thats gushing out of his hole back in before licking his fingers
— although your yandere is a good boy for you most of the time, theres times where he's a brat
— he'll talk back to you whenever you command him to do something or cum without permission
— but just some long edging or overstimulation will break him and turn him into a sobbing mess
— tying his hands to the headboard and keeping his legs spread apart whilst a vibrator is inside him on the highest setting is his favorite punishment
— your yandere thinks you don't know that since you do it all the time but you actually do know it, you just love the way his face is stained with his drool and tears while his chest and the sheets underneath him is covered in his cum afterwards
— such a slut but we love him for it
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ty for reading to the end! ❤ - chaepink
╰┈➤ masterlist | rules
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onlyswan · 1 month
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summary: in which the sweet ache of yearning metamorphoses into the art of intimacy and knowing.
idol!jk x reader, est. relationship / fluffy fluff, a dash of angst, explicit content (minors dni!!) / word count: 10.5k
warnings/content: divided into seven parts. it’s like a timeline hehe <3 ; mainly in jk’s pov!! ; underaged drinking (oc is 18 in that part but the legal age of drinking in sk is 19 so!) ; mention of almost? n*des (neither sent by our mcs) ; making out ; thigh grinding ; brief or*l (f. rec + allusions to m. rec) ; mention and allusion to s*x [yesyes it’s the first time] [oc may or may not cry a little too…] ; they have a ‘what if i die before you?’ discourse lmao
playlist! restless - bibi ; lily of the valley - daniel ; who do you love - the black skirts ; intro (end of the world) - ariana grande ; snow - josh makazo
> in which masterlist!
note: look at my gorjus ethereal bf !!!! anyway… hi, i’m back ^_^ here’s my not so little offering to those who’s been missing the iw couple <3 as always i’d love to hear your thoughts :") come chat!!
I. THE FALLING
“just stay the night.” you blurt out, turning to jungkook to express your worry. “i can’t let you leave right now. it’s not safe.”
his wide eyes scan the headline of the news once more.
heavy snowfall, road accident, several injured… versus staying the night at the apartment of not quite his friend, not quite his lover, for the first time.
he can’t deny that he favors the latter over the former with an explicable feeling rendering him breathless. still, he can’t allow his enthusiasm to cloud his better judgement. he knows he’s still somewhat of a stranger to you. he doesn’t want to overstay his welcome or make you feel uncomfortable in your own space.
“are you sure you’re comfortable with it?”
“sure. should i be worried?“
“no! uhm, i just thought not everyone would be comfortable to have a person they’re not very close with to sleep over.”
you chuckle, lightly bumping your shoulder against his. “chill. i have bigger things to be scared of than the guy who just cried with me while watching an anime movie.”
oh… he thought you were too absorbed in wiping your own tears to notice him crying too.
he slumps back on the sofa with a sigh. “i see. i guess we’re left with no choice then.”
“i have an extra toothbrush!”
jungkook doesn’t quite understand people’s obsession with his eyes, but getting enamored by the innocence that yours seem to glisten with, he wonders if he is experiencing the same case.
“can you see if this fits you?”
you stand before him with a stack of neatly folded clothes, unraveling a pair of gray sweatpants to hold up infront of him.
“i think… there’s a string? oh, there’s none.”
he chuckles. “you forgot?”
“well, it’s not mine. my ex never came back for his clothes.“ you huff with a roll of your eyes, muttering a silent his loss into the air. “i’ve washed it though! don’t worry! it’s just- you know- sleeping in denim pants is uncomfortable.”
does that mean you still wear the clothes of your exes? this pisses him off for some unknown reason. he would much rather sleep uncomfortably than wear their clothes.
you kindly smile, pushing the black knitted sweater against his chest. “but this is mine. it’s really warm and comfortable!”
but on another note, you’re too sweet and thoughtful. how could he ever say no?
the sweatpants is a little loose around his waist. your sweater, however, feels incredibly soft against his skin. as he walks back into the living room, he pulls down his sweater paws and runs his hands across its sleeves. if he had to describe the feeling it evokes, he would say it is very much similar to rolling around on freshly washed and dried bedsheets.
“it’s nice, right?”
he whips his head around upon hearing the sound of your voice. for a quick second, you caress his arm with the back of your hand, and even with the barrier separating your skin from his, the casual touch causes his breath to hitch.
“i finished cleaning the room. i set up a comforter on the floor so you can take the bed.”
“is that so? thank you!”
he zooms past you. you’re left standing alone, blinking in confusion. he is more than happy to welcome himself into your bedroom… so he can slyly steal the bed you prepared for yourself. he slides under the covers, makes himself all cozy with his hands resting on the back of his head as if it’s not a raging winter and he’s lying under the summer sun.
“and what do we have here?”
jungkook cracks one eye open. there you are leaning against the doorframe with your arms crossed. you raise your eyebrows at him, demanding an answer.
“what?” he smiles childishly. “you’re the one doing me a favor. i’m not going to let you sleep on the floor.”
“how polite. suit yourself, sir.” you shake your head in amusement, smiling.
you enter the room, flicking the lightswitch off and locking the door at the speed of light. without thinking, probably; muscle memory formed by your routine. he is the only thing not a part of it. yet.
“goodnight, jungkook.”
“goodnight.”
he still sees you moving around in the dark. you crouch down beside him and he feels the extra pillow he’s partially crushing under his weight be jerked away all of a sudden.
“i need this one. sorry.” you whisper-shout apologetically. “goodnight! sweet dreams!”
jungkook sighs, tired of mindlessly scrolling through social media. his eyes flutter shut as he allows his phone to collapse on his chest. he is yet to even figure out if going to work later would be possible because of the blocked roads. he has gotten enough earful about not heading straight to the dorm and he cannot risk any more. because then, he would have to see less of you.
he sneakily opens his eyes, craning his head to the side to steal a glance of you, but he finds that you’ve already fallen asleep on your textbook and he’s unable to look away again. bathed in the warm light of the lampshade on your bedside, he has never seen you more peaceful. he learns with hard evidence that you’re a side sleeper, curled up underneath the blanket and cutely snuggled against the pillow you took from him.
he doesn’t know how long he’s been admiring you, but he knows he doesn’t want you to think of him as a creep. you stir in your sleep and his hand swiftly flies to his phone. pretending to be absorbed in reading the first tweet he comes across, he tries taking another subtle glimpse of you.
it’s as if he’s been caught and punished.
he flinches.
your textbook collides with the floor, landing only inches next to his pillow. he begins sweating. he could’ve easily gotten a concussion at best, death at worst.
he sits up with his elbows anchoring him, poking around to investigate the cause of the fall. admittedly, he’s a little sad to see your back now facing him.
“shit, what am i doing?” he roughly rubs his face to knock some sense back into him.
he needs to get some sleep. yeah, that’s it. nothing more.
he picks up your textbook, taking it upon himself to bring it over to your desk. on his way back, he also decides to to turn off the lampshade.
his finger freezes on the button, however. he sinks his teeth into his bottom lip to silence the giggle that threatens to escape him— so fucking endeared to discover that you’ve kicked off your blanket and rolled over to your other side along with the pillow, your thigh carelessly slumped over it.
he tucks himself back into bed, heart feeling all warm and fuzzy.
“so, so adorable.”
the words escape him without thought; the smile on his face ever-present even as he drifts off to dreamland.
II. ALLOW ME TO LINGER BY THE DOOR
“hey, it’s getting late. shouldn’t you be heading home by now?”
you sit beside jungkook on the sofa after a phone call, and his round eyes grow twice their size when you steal the iced tea from his grasp, nonchalant as your lips wrap around the same red straw his have been only seconds ago.
he awkwardly clears his throat, perhaps to mask his loud heartbeat. “is your friend okay?”
“oh, she’ll be fine. it’s her fault so i can’t do much for her this time.” you shrug, picking up your chopsticks as you eye the last dumpling in the bowl. “still hate that guy, though.”
“the one you think is lying about being rich?”
“i don’t know much about real ones, but i’m pretty sure i’ve seen enough fake diamonds!”
that seems to hits the right spot to elevate your mood. you hum happily as you chew, collapsing on the cushions and looking straight ahead at the television screen.
“sorry about that. you must be bored and tired by now.”
“about that…” jungkook swallows his nervousness. he rests his arm on top of the sofa, just to act cool. he’s so close to you yet still so distant. “i’m dead tired from filming today. i’ve been up since four in the morning. would it be too much trouble if i spend the night again?”
“i should be the one asking you that. why do you like this trashy place way more than i do?” you shake your head, wiping your mouth with a paper napkin. “i’ll go fix up so you can rest then. you’re lucky minji didn’t claim the bed first.”
fuck, he was supposed to get kicked out?
“wait! do you need a change of clothes?”
“there’s no need!” he replies a little too quickly. if he has to wear the clothes of another one of your exes, he might end up on the news for setting himself on fire. “i have extras in my backpack i didn’t got to wear today.”
“oh, okay.” you flash him a smile before disappearing into the bedroom.
yeah, how convenient.
he exhales through his mouth.
when did he start lying? his mother would be very disappointed in him. but on the other hand, his father would explode in boisterous laughter and pat him on the back. nevermind… that just makes it worse.
“guess i’m going to hell!” he shrugs, wearing a smile that is rather too jubilant.
he grabs his backpack on the floor and heads to the bathroom; your home is another home away from home.
jungkook is exhausted from dance practice. he must’ve exerted himself too hard again without realizing it. for the third time this week, he’s attaching pain relief patches to his neck and shoulders, shirt pulled to the side as to expose the area. normally, he’d just take it off without care, but he’s in a different setting. while he’s pretty confident with the current condition of his body, it would be rude to strip out of nowhere. and you make him nervous. would he fluster you or would you fluster him? he’s not prepared to find out yet.
“are you okay?”
his movements from below capture your attention amidst catching up to the events in your group chats.
“i’m okay, just a little sore. don’t worry!” he waves off your concern with a scrunch of his nose. “i also fell asleep in the car earlier so…”
“i can give you a massage. if you want.”
“no, it’s fine.” even though the offer sounds extremely tempting, especially coming from you. “i know you’re tired too.”
“hm, your loss. i’m kind of an expert at it.”
he squints his eyes at you. “really?”
“you don’t believe me?”
you sit up on the bed with an offended gasp, and he laughs at how you quite literally rose up to the challenge.
“we do have actual experts come in and take care of us too, you know that?”
“excuse you, i’m an actual expert! i have more than a decade of experience!”
he isn’t surprised to witness you climb down immediately afterwards, sitting behind him with your hands already on his shoulders.
“hmm, my dad worked at construction sites. my mom had a desk job. this- this was my job.” your fingers begin pressing down as if you’re assessing him, touching the bare skin of his still exposed shoulder. “got paid with extra allowance. making money was easy back then.”
“you’re so adorab- ah, ah, ah-” his sentence is cut short by his own self when you apply pressure on a big knot, gently massaging it in small circles to loosen the tightly wound muscle fibers. “fuck, it hurts… yeah, that’s good. don’t stop.”
he hears you snort, feels your forehead collapse on his back as vibrant giggles rack your body. a blush of red creeps up to his cheeks and he’s thankful that you can’t see his face.
he laughs along, belly aching. “okay, okay- i heard it! i should keep my mouth shut!”
“no no no, i won’t laugh anymore!”
“you’re still doing it right now!”
“i’ll stop!” you sniffle, laughed to the point of tears. you squeeze his shoulders. “just relax! you’re so tense here, see? no wonder it hurts.”
there’s no denying that his body is pushed to its limits everyday; he has grown accustomed of this kind of lifestyle and he doesn’t complain. you’re making him want to do it all the time, though. if it means getting pampered like this? hell yeah.
“it hurts here too. over- over here-” he reaches a hand to his back, patting the area that has been bothering him all day. “this part. will you make it go away, please?”
“here? your shoulder blade?”
“yes!”
“okay. tell me if i should go gentler or harder. i don’t want to hurt you.”
it’s his turn to snort. he shortly learns that was not a smart move.
“ah, ah, ah-” you pull at his ear and this time he moans in pain. “oh, come on! you gave that one away!”
“shut up! you’re not allowed to laugh too!”
he tries not to create more embarrassing sounds. at some point he begun to busy himself with his phone, but to no avail, there are occasional moans and grunts he can’t bite down because you weren’t lying about being a pretty damn good masseur. and then he does it on purpose once, just to hear you laugh again, because his being already feels a million times lighter and you show no signs of exhaustion or boredom.
“you have a mole here,” you casually observe. he feels a light touch on the side of his neck and the butterflies in his stomach become untamed. “it’s sexy.”
he blushes, caught off guard by the compliment. “thank you.”
“you’re welcome.” you hum.
the minutes pass by and he is no longer faking silence, however. all he can think about now is how he wishes that he was lying down for this. how long has it been? you’ve been definitely at it for almost an hour. he yawns, eyelids fighting to stay open but failing miserably.
“hey, wipe your drool.”
he blinks. your beautiful face greets him— for a second, he’s convinced that he has begun dreaming. with a mischievous grin, you lift the collar of his shirt to wipe the corners of his lips, and in a state of near delirium, he cackles.
“seriously, thank you… i-i don’t even know what to say. i really needed that.” he sighs, carelessly rubbing his heavy eyes. “i’ll treat you to dinner tomorrow. how about that?”
“sounds good. now go to sleep.” you pat his back before rising on your feet. “your head kept on dropping and i felt bad.”
“that happens a lot.”
“well, it’s bad for your neck. keep doing it and i’ll get more free dinners.”
the unmistakable sound of a kiss that follows, it suspiciously matches with the warmth that lingers on his cheek.
“goodnight!”
“goodnight…” he only manages to mumble.
his mind has gone off to space. you tuck yourself into your bed after turning off the lampshade while jungkook feels like he just got blasted to the moon. he needs to get out of here. STAT.
“i’ll go drink some water. do you want me to get you a glass?”
“no, i’m fine.”
he makes out your figure shuffling in the dark, snuggled closely to a pillow.
he nods, which you probably didn’t even see. he steps out of the room as quietly as possible, slowly closing the door as to produce the smallest click. he pads to the kitchen still feeling light, almost like he’s walking on a path made out of clouds. he pours himself a glass of cold water from the fridge, chugs it down to the very last drop.
he licks his lips as he sets down the glass on the counter. he sighs deeply. he can still feel the outline of your lips, sticky lip balm printed on his skin. is it normal that he couldn’t be bothered to wipe it off?
“totally worth going to hell for.” he muses, unaware of the smirk that has started playing on his lips.
he briskly washes the glass at the sink, wiping it dry with a towel before deposting it back into the rack.
as expected, you’ve already fallen asleep by the time that he returns. the light from the hallway casts a glow over your face and it’s a sight that is painfully intimate in its own peculiar way.
he can’t put a name to it, but whatever this feeling is, he likes it and he wants it to last.
and so, he lingers by the door for a few seconds more.
III. THE YEARNING
jungkook hisses your name with yet another curse, heart so close to jumping out of his chest. when you were on the phone incoherently begging him to take you home from the club, he expected to carry out a passed out person from his car to their apartment floor, which he found no problem with aside from the possibility of having to deal with them throwing up.
instead, he is struck by an unusual combination of amusement and distress. he has been running around trying to capture you as you spend your final bursts of energy ringing strangers’ doorbells. your exhilarated laughter echoes throughout the hallways. he must confess that he was laughing along with you the first time… until it started to get a little bit out of hand.
if someone recognizes him by chance, he would be beyond fucked.
“don’t- don't do it! stop it! please!” he finally manages to seize your wrist before it can reach another, forced to wrap his arms around your torso so you won’t escape from him again. “are you crazy? it’s 3am! people are sleeping!”
“that’s the point.” you mewl, looking back to him with a childish pout underneath the hood of your coat. “why are they sleeping? it’s when the ghosts come out. does no one ever think about ghosts’ feelings? because i do! if i were a ghost, i’d be lonely and crying right now!”
oh my god, what is happening?
“so let’s invite them and everyone for more drinks!” you jump up and down, his secure hold doesn’t hold a candle to your hypernese. “jungkook, i want to drink more! more more more! buy me!”
unfortunately, he doesn’t have the time to dwell on your cuteness. he hears a door click from behind and his instincts instantaneously kick in. oh shit, you actually fucking woke someone up. he sweeps you off your feet, clasping a hand over your mouth to mute your angry protests. he turns at a corner, trapping you against the wall.
a deep and manly voice fills the silence. “hello? who’s there?”
two pairs of eyes widen, staring at each other as if they can read minds through them. he notices the unsteady rise and fall of your chest; your heart must be beating as fast as his. he has to pull down his black mask to be able to breathe.
“you’re going to be the death of me.” he grumbles with a pointed look.
when you smile, he perceives it first through the palm of his hand before it reaches your eyes. only then does he fully register the dangerously close proximity between you.
dangerous because he wants to kiss you.
dangerous because you’d dare him to do it and his self-control has been reduced to a million cracks.
“ah, this prank again! fucking teenagers!”
and the door slams shut. you both flinch.
“that guy has a fridge full of beer!”
you are vexed, voice muffled but still clearly loud. you harshly paw at his forearm to remove his hand, and your pout finally comes into view.
“no, you’ve had enough! seriously, what am i going to do with you? huh? you shouldn’t even be drinking at all.” he blows a loud breath, frustratedly running his fingers through his hair. “how did you even get in the club? fake id? you have it, don’t you?”
you rush to defend yourself. “i’m only younger by a year and i don’t look like it! as if they actually care in those places. they only want money.”
he begins to question if the bloodshot of your eyes is solely because of the alcohol or you’re also on the verge of tears.
“why? are you mad at me?”
“no, i’m not mad. should i be?”
“…i don’t know. why do you even care about things like that? you’re not my boyfriend or my parent so i don’t need to explain myself to you.” you angrily ramble, wriggling out of the tight spot he had you trapped in.
and that felt like a fucking dagger to the heart.
“you know what? i-i can do this. i can take care of myself, so go home.”
“____, don’t be like this, please. you’re drunk.”
“i’m not drunk, just tipsy! you can go home!”
he runs after you, but you shrug him off and continue walking away, perhaps a little too fast. he curses himself when he catches up to you seconds too late, witnessing you fall over to the floor with a thump and a whimper.
“are you okay?! where does it hurt?!”
you shake your head profusely, but your hands gripping your ankle gives away the answers. he doesn’t press you further. without another word, he hooks an arm under your knees and the other under your back, swooping you from the floor. he stands up straight, adjusts your position slightly, and walks the path you attempted to travel alone in your intoxicated state.
perhaps he is mad. he went and abandoned his rest time when you said that you needed him, only for you to rudely send him home. he has the right to be mad, even just a little bit, despite the fact that he isn’t your boyfriend, right?
not that it matters.
you cling to his neck and it all melts away.
he glances down at you. a soft smile has replaced your frown. “oh, so now you’re happy again?”
“yes,” you tilt your head. “feels like i’m floating.”
“where’s your key?”
“huh?”
“your key-”
“oh!”
you dig out the item from the pocket of your coat. you proudly dangle it infront of his face along with the colorful keychains attached to it; the bear was gifted by yours truly from japan. he totally forgot that it existed. the last time he saw it was when he tossed it in the paper bag he gave you.
he’s not even your boyfriend. the two of you know that doesn’t make sense anymore.
after he sets you down on the sofa, he kneels on the floor to remove the heels from your aching feet. he gets the hang of it after unfastening the second strap. while he’s preoccupied, you strip off your coat to combat the increased temperature of your body.
“i need to pee.” you urgently kick off the heels as you rise on your feet.
jungkook looks up and forgets how to breathe. you are irresistibly gorgeous; the cherry red mid-thigh dress you’ve been hiding from him hugs your body so perfectly. he’s ensnared and thoroughly convinced that you’re aware of your power to leave men and women alike sweating and tongue-tied.
goddammit, he is mad. you were at the club looking like this among flashing lights and grinding bodies and he is not your boyfriend.
“doesn’t your ankle hurt?”
“doesn’t matter. i need to pee.”
he clicks his tongue as you limp your way towards the bathroom.
“you’re so hardheaded.”
he lifts up your arm to bring it over his shoulders; he holds your waist to assist you.
“and your heart is so soft.” you giggle, and his world stops when you hold his face… peppering his cheek with an amount of kisses he doesn’t have half the mind to count.
you said you’re not drunk, just tipsy. does that mean you genuinely like him this much and you’ll remember it when you wake up?
dear god, he hopes so.
jungkook is supposed to wake up in four hours. however, he’s still wide awake sitting by your pillow, mind completely blank on what he’s supposed to do now that you’re safe and sound. he can’t bring himself to leave just yet. you bump against his knee as you shuffle and squirm, eyes closed but yet to land in the confines of slumber. he can hear your rugged and frustrated breathing, can’t help but to hopelessly adore how pretty you are even with knitted eyebrows and tousled hair.
he likes you so much. he knows it hasn’t been that long since you met but the thought of losing the chance of winning you over makes him want to cry and throw a tantrum. you’re running in his mind day and night. you have permeated all his senses. you charm him with your unapologetic existence and you effortlessly captivate his ungiven affections.
when it comes to love, his passion becomes a weakness.
a whine emits from your parted lips as if you sense that something is wrong. your hands pat around the mattress— searching and searching, until they stumble upon him. you push yourself up, head landing on the pillow, and your arms, they hug him close by his waist. only then do you finally come to a still, chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm.
you are at peace and he is experiencing an emotional turmoil— falling in love. this is simply not fair.
the lines are becoming so blurry. he is losing control of his hands, hyperaware of what he is capable with his possession of them. he strokes your head gently, hair brushing across his palm— this is soothing to him as much as it is you.
this feels right, he thinks. he wants time to stretch from this galaxy to another.
he feels a weak tug at his sweater.
“i’m cold now,” your complaint comes out mumbled against the thick fabric.
next thing he knows you’re pulling him down by his collar, leaving him with no choice but to lie down beside you as to not crush you under his weight. where the hell did you gather the strength to do that?!
he hisses in panic. “yah! what are you doing?”
“i’m cold,” you repeat.
“____, we’re lying down on the blanket. if you can just scoot over for a seco- i’ll take it out. move-”
his attempts on communicating to you only fall on deaf ears. he zips his mouth to admit defeat.
you cling to him for warmth, and jungkook finds himself giving more than that. he volunteers his arm to be your pillow, softly cupping the back of your head as you nuzzle your face on his chest; his other arm wraps around your torso to keep you close. it is quite a tight fit on a single bed— he figures out a lame excuse for later.
now he can say for certain that you’re hearing his heartbeat, but he doesn’t seem to care anymore. he also doesn’t mind the scent of alcohol because it’s tragically losing the battle against your sweet perfume. it renders him enchanted. and the dress… that hypnotizing dress. he squeezes his eyes shut, trying to banish the sinful thoughts flooding his imagination.
he didn’t peg you to be the physically affectionate type, but seeing that you can’t sleep without hugging something, someone— he wants to be just the thing that you cherish as your safe haven. he wants this memory to be cute… and romantic. but too much heavy on the romance, you affect his body and heart in ways no one can.
he tries to will his growing erection to ebb away. it’s not an appropriate situation. he likes and respects you too much.
“my makeup…”
you said it so quietly, he almost believed he was making it up in his head.
“what was that?”
“will you- please, will you help me take off my makeup? it’s bothering me.” you make one final request at the depths of drowsiness, speech slurred and stuttered. “the wipes… the drawer behind you.”
he should’ve thought of that. he’s learning. next time, he will.
he settles into his previous position after grabbing the wipes.
“how do i help? is it okay if i d-”
he interrupts his question when he realizes that you’ve finally fallen asleep.
his sigh momentarily fills the defeaning silence of the night. the exhaustion has also begun to take a toll on him. he’s going to have to catch up on sleep during car rides and set breaks. he’s already dreading it as he’s planning around their hectic schedule.
as he wipes off your makeup as carefully as possible, he mutters into the thin air. “you owe me a massage for this.”
IV. HAPPINESS OUTSIDE DAYDREAMS
“you’re my boyfriend now and you don’t sleep on the floor anymore. how cute is that?” you happily think out loud, swinging your feet dangling at the edge of the bed. “but if you want to go back to our old ways… my bed is small even for me.”
“no way. are you kidding?!” he jokingly protests in an angry manner. “your bed is perfect.”
jungkook is on cloud nine. it sure does feel good to hear you sound so happy calling him your boyfriend, even more so to reap its special privileges.
“i keep forgetting to ask. which side do you prefer?”
you’re sat facing the door. “i don’t know, but i’m used to sleeping here.”
“alright. i’ll stay here.” he climbs under the covers, spreading his arms once his back hits the mattress. the smirk on his face widens. “come here, baby.”
a grunt slips past his lips when you jump into his arms without warning, eventually falling over to the side when he moves to envelope you in his embrace.
“you’re so warm.” you purr in contentment as you bury your face against his chest. “i love cuddling so much.”
“i’ve noticed,” he replies. he softly squeezes your exposed thigh after you slump your leg over his hip to maximize your comfort. “your pillow must be softer than me though.”
“no, i like you more… cuddling is proven to have health benefits, you know?”
he quirks an eyebrow. “oh really? give me examples.”
“it releases happy chemicals in the brain… it apparently also helps to lower blood pressure and heart rate, and it-” you fail to stifle a sleepy yawn, hands grasping the cloth of his shirt and forming closed fists. “…improves one’s quality of sleep.”
“i can see it’s working well for you.” he chuckles.
“is it for you?”
“mhmm, yes,” he presses his lips to your forehead. “i’m happy. there’s only happy chemicals in my brain right now.”
jungkook means it wholeheartedly and it feels strange. he doesn’t feel happy in this moment alone. this happiness is colossal and there’s not nearly enough hours in a day to take it all in. this happiness will still be here when he wakes up tomorrow, and the day after that. this happiness stays with him even when you’re not physically present. you’ve turned him into an optimistic fool but it’s not always that he experiences an attraction this strong.
he’s smitten and he can’t hide it. the people who are around him everyday sees it on his face; he doesn’t even need to say it out loud. all that corny shenanigans about romance giving you a certain type of glow is apparently true, it turns out.
“kissing is said to have the same effects, actually.”
your coyness captivates him from his thoughts.
he draws back slightly, the glint of mischief in his eyes mirroring yours. “where do you learn these things?”
“through reading and experience.” you shrug innocently. “want to test that out too?”
you’re everywhere. he can taste your lips, your tongue; your body wash floods his sense of smell with a sweet and clean scent, plus something else he can’t quite name. he can only it describe as you. your hair is tangled in his fingers and your hands… so delicate and teasing with every touch, it feels like being electrified. it still feels incredibly chilly outside but heat is radiating off his skin. he needs to peel himself off you before he loses his last shred of self-control.
“baby…” he whispers, lips only a couple inches from yours. he takes your hand in a tender hold, placing it over his racing heartbeat. “i’m not sure about this one being good for my health.”
“but it is. you just burnt some calories.” you smile, wiping the sweat that has started to form on his forehead. “should we stop?”
he feels his cheeks become more flushed, but his craving for you has overtaken his shyness. he might as well be drunk; intoxicated by you.
“no.” he refuses, conflicted and almost pained. “i can’t…”
he gets rid of the distance between your lips once more, swallowing the first obscene moan he brings out of you.
V. THE SPRING FLOWER IN THE EYE OF THE STORM
although you know they held affection for you, the boys you’ve attracted in your life have made one thing clear: they see you as an object of desire, and you unintentionally play the part well. if you were going to make their wet dreams come true, then you ought to derive pleasure from it as well without shame.
but with jungkook, the tables have turned. you wore the same lipstick from last time to rile him up on purpose, but instead you’re the one stuck trying to recall a time you were this putty in somebody’s hands. you’re not in control— you expect this thought would make you spiral, but it doesn’t.
you stumble inside your apartment making out with your boyfriend and you have an orange azalea tucked behind your ear. his hand is in your mess of a hair and it protects your head from the impact of the wall as your back collides with it. you don’t know if it was on purpose or not but your heart flutters nonetheless. this is sickeningly romantic and you want to drown yourself in it.
“oh, feels good.” his mouth on your neck is addictive, you imagine it would be heavenly on more vulnerable parts of you. your nails harshly dig into his shoulder as he takes his time with every lick, every nip of his teeth— eager to learn more about your body and what makes it weak at the knees.
you tug at his hair with a whisper. “jungkook…”
“mhm? yes, baby?”
you thought you’ve seen and felt enough. you know about lust, but never felt a chemistry this electrifying. there’s an emotion screaming beneath the daze in jungkook’s eyes; it’s always been there, but not this loud. you think if you trust your gut and open yourself up… you might just come to gain an understanding of it.
you bite your bottom lip, behind it a shadow of a smile. “bedroom.”
his restless hands slide down to hook around your thighs, and not long after, your legs are wrapped around his waist as he navigates your apartment blinded by the mutual refusal of your lips to disconnect. you giggle every time he bumps into something and groans. with his fear of accidentally letting you fall felt through his tight grip, you’re the one who kicks the bedroom shut. the sound couldn’t have been louder than the pounding of your heart reaching your own ears.
jungkook is gentle as he lays you down on the bed, but your lack of inhibitions reign over you. you begin unbuttoning his shirt, unconsciously grinding your heat against his thigh as you do so. it catches him by surprise, but then his strong hands find purchase on your waist, and you know he wants this as much as you do.
the kiss is broken up by a moan when his grip falls to your hips, guiding your wild movements in chasing pleasure with a tenderness and sensuality that transforms you into a feverish mess. another gush of arousal ruins your underwear worse. you kiss him again and eventually you lose count of the buttons— patience runs thin and with adrenaline rushing through your veins, you tear his shirt apart.
he hisses. “baby, shit- what did y-”
“shhh,” you place an index finger over his lips.
he chuckles raspily, shaking his head in disbelief. your giggles join him, equally amused with yourself.
it’s still for a few seconds, but you can hear each other breathe in the dark. you’ve seen him naked but his silhouette alone stirs the fuel spreading throughout your body. he’s perfect. your lips reclaim the place of your finger. your hands caress every inch of his skin, every curve of his flesh they can reach. he doesn’t make an effort to hold his noises and it turns you on more, if that is even possible at this point. his muscles continue to tense under your touches, even worse when you find his nipples to tease and play with. he’s perfect.
“it’s my turn.” he tries to say in the middle of the kiss, but you don’t hear a thing until he’s pulling away breathless and you’re whining in disappointment. “let me return the flavor please? i’ve been going crazy thinking about it. fuck, please.”
you sit up on the bed, pushing his naked chest challengingly. “what? you want to eat me out?“
he swallows, wide scandalized eyes failing to escape your keen observation. “i do.”
you watch him watch you strip off your sweater, “really…?” and then unclasp your bra, allowing its straps to provocatively slide down your shoulders.
“ye-yes, really.”
“then what’s stopping you?”
he whines out your name, interrupting himself with his craving for another kiss as he slips off your bra completely. it gets lost on the floor along with your sweater and you smirk deviously against his lips. “you’re testing me like this, huh? you’re so mean.”
you lie on your bed but you feel like you’re on top of the world. jungkook scatters kisses from your neck down to your chest, occasionally licking and biting as if he can’t help but to taste you. he uncovers another ticklish spot along your ribcage, but you bite your lip to control your giggles. instead, you touch his face to subtly guide him away from it.
he nuzzles his cheek against your palm, eyelids fluttering close as he presses a soft kiss to your wrist.
“may i?”
the shape of his lips lingers there. no one has ever kissed your wrist, nor have you ever imagined the first time to take place in bed.
your thumb strokes his cheek tenderly. the silence that follows there after concerns jungkook. he calls out your name, snapping you out of deep thought.
“may i?” he repeats himself.
he is patiently suspended over the waistband of your skirt. ever the gentleman, you half-smile.
“will you fuck me good after?”
the hand on his face sneaks down to pull up the skirt over your stomach; an even tinier piece of fabric covers the most intimate part of your body.
“whatever you want, baby, i will do it.” he promises.
you can hear the smirk in his voice, but you’re unable to form another response as his tongue laves over the lace, the warmth and wetness saturating through and stimulating your clit— once, slowly, and then over and over again.
you gasp, jolting and squirming in pleasure. he only makes it worse when he hums and you feel the vibration against you. you whine and he squeezes the soft flesh of your inner thighs in an attempt soothe you, keep you still, nuzzling his cheek as he meets your heated gaze.
“relax… is my baby always this sensitive?” he places a chaste kiss over your clit, causing your breath to hitch. “‘cause i’ve barely started.”
“jungkook,” you impatiently whine. “why’d you stop? just do it, please- need you.”
you’d wipe off that stupid smirk on his face if only you weren’t so pent up and you didn’t need his tongue.
“wow… didn’t think you’re the type to beg.” he muses, more so talking to himself. “i like it.”
hell no, you’re not.
but finally, he dives in, greedily pulling aside the flimsy material for a real taste of you. instead of a sharp remark, erotic sounds between a moan and a sob emit from your lips. your toes curl at the surge of mind-numbing ecstasy overwhelming your body. your hands fisting the sheets fly to his hair, frantically tugging like you can’t take it, but you beg and beg and beg him for more.
the last time you had sex was more than four months ago. you realized that you liked jungkook, and you simply didn’t want to do it with anybody else. sexual frustration combined with the romantic pining for a man that could potentially ruin your life; your youth has been nothing short of eventful.
has sex always been this good? you can’t remember. you’re drunk on pleasure even in the aftermath; you’re not sure if you’re really here or floating someplace else. as you catch your breath, jungkook soothes your body with gentle kisses and strokes of your skin, whispering sweet nothings. mostly babbling about how beautiful you are. and you feel it— feel beautiful, you mean.
you gradually open your eyes, vision adjusting to the divine view infront of you. jungkook is golden, skin still glistening with sweat under the warm glow of the lampshade. your heart skips a beat when he smiles at you.
“are you good? do you need anything? water?”
“again.”
his eyes widens. “again?“
“round two.” you giggle.
you push yourself up to reach his lips, but the kiss ends too soon for your liking.
“jungkook-” you complain.
“wait!”
you stare in bewilderment as he bends down from the edge of bed, appearing to be reaching for one of the objects discarded on the floor.
“what is it?”
“i found it!”
it’s the flower.
beaming with a hue of pure excitement, he tucks the azalea behind your ear for the second time tonight. pretty, he says it so quietly that you only understand through the movement of his lips.
he looks bewitched by you. in a different setting you’d be smug about it, but at this moment, you don’t understand. you can’t read what’s on his mind. if only you could see yourself through his eyes, even for just a moment, then maybe you’d understand why he’s dancing with fire and folding with his tower of cards.
it would be too silly and embarrassing to start crying now, right?
you swallow the lump in your throat, glassy eyes overshadowed by your boyfriend leaning in to plant a kiss on your forehead. as if that isn’t enough to entirely melt your heart, he intertwines his fingers with yours. your walls come crumbling down. in a haste to forbid your emotions from breaking free, you reach for him and slip your tongue in his mouth for a fervent kiss.
the burning tears that drip down to your temples are lost evidence you will bring to the grave.
“you’re not supposed to be awake.” jungkook complains as soon as he opens the door.
you only spare him a glance before returning to your task. instead of being under the sheets, you’re sat on the floor with his button-up shirt from last night laid across your lap. only several steps closer and he realizes that you’re sewing.
he exhales through his mouth in surprise, setting aside the tray of food on the bed before joining you on the floor.
“baby, what are you doing?! it’s fine. you don’t need to fix it.”
“i know, but i want to.” you reply, smiling, eyes still swollen from sleep focused on the needle and thread. “i stepped on one of the buttons so i looked for the two other.”
he’s dumbfounded watching you sew with so much care and precision. oh my god, he is in love with you. he thinks it so loud he gets terrified that he might’ve ended up speaking it out loud too.
“at least eat first!”
“wow, where did you buy ingredients so early?”
“early?” he scratches his head. “it’s lunch time.”
“what?!” your eyes grow twice their size. “jungkook, i’m late for work! what didn’t you wake me up?!”
“you- you we- you were tired!” he stutters defending himself.
he awkwardly catches his shirt when you throw it aside in a rush to get to the bathroom.
“baby, what about your food?!” he yells.
“wait, i forgot my towel-” you pop out from the doorframe, beaming at him breathlessly. “oh, please pack the food in my lunchbox!”
VI. SPEAKING TRUTHFULLY, YOU’RE THE ONE FOR ME
“i missed you.”
you giggle. “you look drunk.”
you hold jungkook’s cheeks in the palm of your hands, and he revels in the comforting warmth radiating from them.
he closes his eyes with a toothy grin. “i’m exhausted.”
“then go to sleep!”
“i don’t want to!”
he opens one eye, peeking at you.
“i came here so you won’t have to tire yourself out more going to my place.” you pout. “why do you hate resting?”
“this is me resting,” he says as a matter of fact, leaning down to give your lips a peck. “you are my rest.”
while it may be true that his body is begging for sleep, his mind is willing him to stay awake for as long as he can. he likes that he has nothing to prove here; he can simply be. you’re softly tracing his skin, forming constellations from the moles on his face, and he knows they’re created out of pure wonder and love.
“this one’s so cute!” you gush. “nobody talks about it enough.”
you place an affectionate kiss on the mole at the bridge of his nose.
“maybe because nobody has noticed it but you.”
you roll your eyes. “as if i’m the only one who spends their free time looking at your face.”
“but you’re the one who can view me in the highest quality.” he brings his face a little closer to tease you; noses almost brushing. “no one else can have me this close.”
“that’s right. or else you will never have me this close again.”
you squint your eyes at him as a threat; a frown making a permanent residence on your lips. fuck, when is he not thinking about kissing you?
“aigoo, look at you sulking!” he exclaims with a laugh.
“i’m not!”
“okay, whatever you say.” he replies in a sing-song voice.
it’s silent for a few beats as he engulfs you in his embrace. he feels like he’s being recharged, and with that comes along the overdue acknowledgement of his exhaustion. he meant it when he said that you are his rest.
“you know, i can’t help but to wonder sometimes.”
there is an undertone of hesitance in the way you spoke which is not typical of you. this prompts him to draw back a little, just enough to get a good look of your face.
“wonder about?”
“i’m not trying to put myself down or anything like that, by the way. i’m not expecting you to say the right thing or whatever either. i’m just-”
you pause, teeth nervously biting your lip. his heart aches in an instant when you avoid his eyes.
“i’m just genuinely curious? and saying what’s on my mind.”
“what is it?” he juts out his bottom lip. “you’re scaring me.”
“it’s not a big deal!”
“go on then. i’m listening.”
“i mean, i know i’m a catch, and- and i have a lot to offer, and i’m special in my own way. but you have a lot of…” you blink, trying to find the right term. “options.”
the word alone causes distaste to morph in his facial expression.
“okay, okay, i know! ugh, i don’t know how else to say it. but you have these beautiful and amazing people throwing themselves at you and sometimes i’m flabbergasted that you actively reject them for me.”
“baby, what are you even saying-”
“i’m serious. there are girls i would’ve totally gone for!”
“but they’re not you!”
he tilts your chin, smiling when at last, he recaptures your wide-eyed gaze.
“it’s really as simple as that.”
“but when we weren’t official yet-”
“i liked you from the start, if i didn’t make that obvious enough.”
you scrunch your cute nose; a smile of pure giddiness starting to form on your face. “you did… i knew.”
“i can’t believe you’re thinking about things like that. i only have eyes for you, baby. do you remember the first fight we had, huh? remember how i got drunk and cried?”
he doesn’t particularly like to relive the trauma and consequences of receiving unsolicited… almost naked… photos of an acquaintance while he’s watching a silly youtube video on his phone with his significant other. anything can be fixed in a relationship if both parties exert the effort, but trust, it is almost impossible to rebuild.
she didn’t know he was, is, in a relationship. in general, no one outside his inner circle really expects him to be in a relationship, or at least be in one that is serious or long-term. because, well, where would he find the time and energy for that kind of stuff?
but keeping you as a secret was his way of protecting you, and if you were hurting because of that, you didn’t show it.
oh, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t mad.
you needed some time to clear your head, you said. ignored his texts and phone calls; shooed him away when he begged at your front door. that issue may already been resolved, but he’s still not done proving that he’s solely committed to you.
you’re one of the most important people in his life. he loves you and he tends to get worried that you will never know much.
you gasp, hitting his chest. “when did that happen?!”
“why are you shocked…?” he narrows his eyes. “you didn’t know?”
“how would i know?”
he scratches his head in confusion. he should probably stop talking at this point and not dig his own grave, but his honesty leads him on. “…didn’t taehyungie-hyung send you a video? or did i make that up in my head?”
he immediately regrets it when the sparkle of mischief appears in your eyes.
“he’s still awake, right?”
“actually, he sleeps early nowadays!”
you wiggle out of his embrace, playfully sticking out your tongue at him. “i’ll go get the copy from him right now.”
“it was so long ago. it’s probably deleted by now!”
“wouldn’t hurt to check.”
“baby, no! it’s embarrassing!” he attempts to pull you back, but his hands barely reach you. “let’s just go to sleep, hm? didn’t you come here to put me to sleep?”
“aw, my love…”
he melts when you gingerly stroke his hair too. he will never live it down if his friends witnessed you babying him and him loving it.
“just close your eyes.”
and with your hand obstructing his vision, he sees pitch black and floating spots and flecks.
“i’ll be back in a minute! mwah!”
but despite his sense of sight being taken away, he still feels you spring off the mattress. the weight of your feet against the floor resonates along with the shout of your name as he follows you out of his bedroom.
you squeal in panic when you realize that you’re being chased. “go back to bed!”
“i won’t unless you go back with me!”
this is one of the instances in which jungkook is grateful for his gifts of athletic prowess and long limbs.
with little to no effort, he overtakes you in the race towards taehyung’s bedroom. doe eyes akin to a deer caught in the headlights, he swings the door open.
taehyung’s eyes flicker up from his phone. he’s frankly not surprised about the intrusion, not after hearing the commotion outside.
“need anything?”
“all the videos you have of him drunk!”
“hyung, no! you can’t give it!”
VII. THE CHOICE TO STAY
“give it to me.”
the blanket that jungkook carried from the bedroom is snatched away from his hands. it becomes unfurled and thrown over to shield your shivering vessel from the cold. without a word, he crawls on the couch and under the blanket, hugging you from behind as you catch up on your ongoing tv shows.
relief… he’s been looking forward to this all day.
the tension in his muscles, from head to toe, begin to fade away, especially as you take his hand in yours so you can give it a chaste kiss. it’s quick, but long enough for him to feel the softness of your lips. his hug tightens. he remains silent as he inhales, and exhales, slow and calm. he’s not trying to fall asleep as much as trying to shut down his brain. they say the world has stopped but from his point of view, it has erupted into chaos and he has no other choice but to watch it fall apart and to attempt to rebuild it at the same time. god knows he is doing the best he can but it feels like his best will never not be lacking.
jungkook is scared, and he is more scared knowing that everyone else is too. but for the past two years, whether you’re whole or broken, whether he’s climbing or falling— it never made a difference. you’ve always stayed.
he finds comfort in knowing that he has this constant among the ominous unknown.
his little firefly; your light won’t go out even as the world lets out its final sigh.
“my love, why are you sad?”
you flipped to your other side when another commercial break rolled in; now you’re hovering over him, curious eyes studying every inch of his face.
“is my love hurt anywhere?” you coo. “where should i kiss?”
his body shakes with quiet laughter as you pepper his face with kisses, trailing down to his jaw until you reach the juncture between his neck and shoulder.
“or do you want a massage? here? know you had a looong day.”
“really? how’d you know?”
“yeah, ‘cause you haven’t showered. you’re all stinky.”
“oh, am i?” he playfully pinches your waist, which you react to with a drawn out whine. “and yet you’re still cuddling with me.”
“so? do you need my massage therapy services or not?!”
“no. i only need my lover, please.” he pleads with droopy eyelids, emphasizing his request by tangling his limbs with yours.
he can’t hide from you like he hides from himself. you’re much more gentler with his heart than he is; unconciously, he trusts you more with it.
“you have me. what’s wrong?”
your hands anchored on the sofa are swept away as he pulls you closer, your weight crashing down on him entirely. he nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in your natural scent and the lavender in your body wash.
“eh, it’s just work… everything that could go wrong is going wrong. we’re trying to figure things out, but what can we do really…? there’s nothing. i- this-this whole thing is just so fucking frustrating, baby. i’m sorry.”
“it’s not just work! it’s your reason for living. of course this is frustrating and painful for you. it’s understandable to feel that way.”
he can practically hear you pouting. he is proven right when you lift your head, leaning in to give him a kiss. he smiles against your lips. he loves you so much.
“so please don’t burn yourself out trying to be okay. you have me by your side who can help you carry your burdens.”
it was scary at the beginning, but now it only feels right. it is impossible not to love you with all of his heart and soul; you deserve nothing less and more than what he can give. when you hug him, he hugs you back tighter.
“you’re my reason to live too.”
“i shouldn’t be. what if i die before you?”
“yah, don’t says things like that!” he scolds you faster than he can think, eyebrows knitted together and frown a tad deeper. “you won’t. it won’t happen.”
“i will die eventually.” you grimace.
“please don’t say such things as ‘i want you to move on and meet someone else and fall in love again and remarry.’ i don’t want to hear it!” he rambles so fast that he doesn’t even understand himself, stumbling and lisping. “i will seriously cry!”
“oh, i don’t care for things like that.”
you make yourself more comfortable; your boyfriend as your own personal bed. sleeping on top of him has been a natural occurence these days, not that he minds. you’re so soft and warm. it’s like hugging a stuffed toy to sleep. still, he’s mindful of you falling off the couch again.
“do whatever you like.” your eyes meet as you bestow him with a smile. “i’ll be dead; i won’t even know what happens next.”
“you don’t care? huh…” he huffs over the hypothetical.
the mere consideration of it feels like cheating. he knows that it technically isn’t, but he can’t imagine spending the rest of his life with someone who isn’t you. nevertheless, if he was being honest and it was the other way around, he’d probably do tell you to leave your heart open. but the topic is not the other way around and jungkook’s heart is stubbornly bound to you.
“why am i getting upset?”
“i don’t care because i’m confident.” you say candidly. “you can fall in love with someone else, but no one will ever love you the way that i do.”
ah, and here comes a side of you that he knows and loves. he swears that cupid is in the room and his heart was just hit by another one of his arrows. it feels so good to be loved so fearlessly.
“i know, so why even bother?” he arrives at a conclusion to his defense, but there’s a much better solution. “please never ever leave me so i won’t have to deal with this dilemma.”
he catches you roll your eyes before he comes face-to-face with the back of your head. your cheek rests on top of his chest; he feels it above his beating heart.
“what then? are we supposed to die together?”
he hums in thought. “it’s not a totally bad idea. we live together, so wouldn’t that make sense too?”
“wow, very shakespearean of you.”
“oh, that’s right! see? isn’t this your type of thing? let’s do it!”
“oh my god, you’re so stupid.” you hide your face behind your hand, giggling in disbelief of the sharp turn this conversation took.
jungkook loves making you laugh. for a little while, he forgets everything else. the world outside may be terrifying but you have your own in your shared apartment. you’re his reason to live too. you ignite the life in his veins. you kiss him with an appetite for passion and love and he enters heaven on earth.
“thank you.” you mumble against his lips.
“thank you?”
“for loving me, for living with me…” your voice wavers and his heart drops to his stomach. he can hold back his tears, but never when he sees yours flowing. “even when you’re tired and having a hard time.”
“you make it sound like a chore, but the truth is loving you gives me the strength to work hard everyday. you do know that, right? baby?” he strokes your hair tenderly, hoping that you receive his sincerity. “i should be the one thanking you… i should say it more often. you didn’t give up on loving me even when it was hurting you.”
“it’s all in the past… you were hurting too.” you reply in a faint whisper. “i love you.”
cupid must owe him a tremendous favor to have granted him the purest form of love a human being could have.
he plants a kiss on your forehead, noticing the rise of your shoulders. an endearing thing they occasionally do when you’re happy, shy, or flattered. it’s one of the many things he learned about you since you started living under the same roof.
he’s been learning about himself too. he tried saving you from himself but this fact is now well-established— you are the sun; it only hurts him to push you away because you’re in everything. it’s the little things that will haunt him if lost. when pieced together, they declare that you love him and he loves you.
the words i’m going home have gained more meaning and he’s excited to say them at the end of each day. he talks about his day and you talk about yours. you find out he’s the reason your lotion ran out too fast again and you chase him around the apartment until he promises to buy you the biggest bottle. you play rock-paper-scissors to figure out who will wash the dishes or receive the food from the delivery guy. you watch too many cooking videos on his phone until one of you falls asleep. most of the time it’s you. tonight, it’s still you.
he must confess that up to this day, he admires you when you sleep. you are safe and sound, and he is mended in places he did not know existed.
it’s time to sleep, he also decides.
he cocoons you in the blanket, then provides another layer of warmth which is his body. once settled, he closes his eyes, sighing in contentment. “what’s the use of our giant bed if we keep on sleeping on the couch?”
(?). AN ETERNAL RECORD: MY TREASURE, MY LOVE (ARCHIVED)
[DEC 25 ‘17 02:12AM]
“is it rolling?”
“yes, it’s rolling.”
you excitedly look at the film camera from the thick pile of snow on the ground, moving your arms up and down and your legs from side to side. an attempt to create a snow angel.
your giggles and the crackles of the snow are heard through the speaker.
the lens zoom in on your face.
childlike joy in the form of an everlasting smile and snowflakes on your hair.
“am i doing it?!”
“you are!”
“really?”
“really!”
“is it pretty?”
your face comes out of the frame. for a second only the white snow is seen, and then the dark brown of your coat as you skip towards the camera.
“let me watch!”
the camera shakes before it pans to the ground.
rustling of clothes and a shy, panicked voice.
“hold on- i-i’ll just fix the…”
“why?”
“huh, what do i do?” a forced laugh to mask nervousness. “i think it didn’t save-”
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apollo-zero-one · 2 years
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I don't want to talk to my therapist tomorrow I have nothing good to tell him and I don't Want to talk about things because everything is bad and I can't do anything about it that I'm not already doing
#too scared I'm gonna tell him I just want to die bcos he'll take it too seriously#like patrick....... i'm too much of a coward to actually go thru with it my guy#it's just a very comforting thought when I feel backed into a corner#though. i made a list of things that make me feel suicidal and it includes 'thinking about the future' and 'thinking about the past' so#no wonder I'm currently living in a nebulous fog where I rarely know what day or time it is#my life has become a cycle of waking up later and later#taking my meds and avoiding my family while never leaving my house#stressing about money while the thought of having a job makes me want to die even more#we're all so stressed out in my house that we're all avoiding each other#ignoring all the random crying around my house#pretending my stepdad isn't yelling and throwing shit#The cats are anxious and upset all the time because we all are#They started pissing on the floor about it which isn't helping anyone's mood#Both of our vehicles are too damaged to safely drive but we have to drive them anyway#Our rent went up and we can barely afford to stay here but we have nowhere else to go#I have been spending too much time in bed and trying to distract myself with minecraft#We're depleting our cabinets and soon we won't have many choices for food anymore#and we know we're still lucky and privileged to have what we do#but it's still scary and unpleasant to have things getting generally worse with no hope for improvement#all while my meds don't work anymore and it takes so much time to find new ones#while I am too depressed and fucked up to function in the mean time
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afriendlyblackhottie · 6 months
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In Between
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Description: of course you’d come to them if your boyfriend wasn’t treating you right. They were your best friends after all. You weren’t expecting them to take advantage of the situation though.
Tags: minors dni, smut, oral (female receiving), edging, dubcon (better safe than sorry), if I missed any please let me know 😭
(A/N: Omg I’m finally just gonna put it out I’ve been writing this on and off for so long lmao still not edited though cuz fuck the grammar police hahaha I hope you all like it. Please like, follow, and reblog with a comment 💜✌🏾)
—————————————————-
“He wouldn’t what?” Bucky asked with a look of bewilderment on his face about what you had just told him.
Maybe you were doing the most by spilling things, but what can you say, you were upset. Had just walked in on your boyfriend with someone else after he’d told you over and over again that nothing had been going on. To say you were in your feelings was an understatement.
It wasn’t like things hadn’t been on and off for a long time anyway but this was the final straw. You were so sick of him doing this to you. Of him lying to your face.
Telling you that you’re the only one and that he was serious about you. Honestly you really should have known be would have turned out to be a player. The worst part was that it seemed like you were never the one to get off. Felt like you’d wasted your time. Probably why you were spilling everything to The Winter Solider.
It was almost like things were coming out as word vomit. Secrets spilling from your mouth that you hadn’t even told Natasha as they were too embarrassing.
Except he was sitting there acting like he really cared and clearly you needed that. Even more so when you started to say way too much.
“I know, right!” You scoffed. Thinking about the way he’d treated getting you off like some kind of chore.
Honestly you should have dumped him after the first time he said to you, ‘I don’t eat pussy.’
“So he never?” Bucky asked with a raised eyebrow.
You shook your head, sniffling. He looked so taken aback.
“That’s bullshit,” Bucky said once again with a scoff. Eyes trailing all over your body. Thinking to himself what an idiot your ex was for not appreciating what he had. “Aw, Honey,” he cooed, grabbing your hand when he noticed you tearing up.
As if you should be wasting tears on that asshole.
“I’m sorry,” you sniffled some more. “I don’t even know why I’m upset right now. He’s not even worth it.”
Well, he was happy that you knew that.
“It’s okay,” he replied. “You know I’m right here.”
You nodded as he leaned forward to pull you into a hug. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders. Needing to melt into him as the vulnerability hit you like a freight train.
“Thanks, Bucky,” you managed to say, pulling away so you could look at him. “Steve’s so lucky to have someone like you.”
Bucky glanced down at your lips. Wondering what Steve would say if he even saw the two of you in this position. You needing a shoulder to cry on as he wished he could comfort you in the way he wanted to.
Not like Steve wouldn’t understand. He saw the way his boyfriend looked at you.
“Yeah well, Steve’s stuck with me so…”
You chuckled stopping to wipe your eyes. Bucky gently placed a hand on your cheek so he could do the same. Thumbing away the droplets.
“Wish I could find a great guy like you. Hell like either of you. Seems like I’m only ever getting into relationships with assholes.”
That kind of sparked something in his chest. Hearing you say that. Sitting here spilling his heart out to him.
“Oh yeah?” He asked. “Well you know I think you deserve better.”
You smiled and wiped your eye. “Thanks, James.”
“It’s okay,” he said, finally reaching out to give you a hug. Seeing that you clearly needed it. “You know I’m always here for you.”
“I know,” you whimpered. Honestly you didn’t even know who else to come to besides him and Steve. They’d really done so much for you after they’d moved in. Sure you kind of had to get used to living next door to the superhero couple, but so far they’d kept you pretty safe.
It was super convent. Hadn’t had to walk any groceries up to your place in months either. Seemed like the two of them were always there to take care of whatever you needed. Took such good care of you. Always.
So how did you think Bucky was going to feel when he heard that your ex hadn’t been. As if any man wouldn’t be happy to have a face full of pussy. Especially yours. Honestly what a fucking idiot. Even the idea of getting a taste was making him feel things he normally didn’t.
“I can’t believe he wouldn’t eat you out, though,” he laughed. “What a- why didn’t you say anything.”
“I don’t know!” You laughed too, pulling away. “I just… I don’t know…”
“It’s okay. We’ll just find you someone that’s going to take care of you right.”
Once again you laughed and honestly he was just happy to see it. Hated having to see you cry. Especially over some bullshit like a man that couldn’t even pleasure you properly. Why cry over him when Bucky could be making you smile.
“You’ve got such a cute little laugh,” he complimented. Not like it wasn’t something he did a lot.
Him and Steve both did. Always wanting to let you know how beautiful they thought you were. Thought they’d just been doing it as your friends, but Bucky just couldn’t deny his attraction forever. Look at you.
Even crying you were one of the prettiest girls he’d ever seen. Had gotten all dolled up for an asshole that didn’t deserve it. Makeup creeping down your face. Fuck. You shouldn’t have to waste such a look.
You let another one of those giggles, looking down and using your shoulder to rub away a tear. Bucky leaned forward so he could place his hand underneath your chin. Lifting your head up. “Honestly, Doll,” he started, “you might be the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“You’re just saying that,” you sniffled.
“No, I mean it. You know I do.“
“Bullshit,” you replied.
“I really do,” he said. “Why do you think Steve and I have to take care of you so much. Pretty thing like you shouldn’t have shit to worry about.”
Inside your heart felt like it could stop. He just looked so handsome as he spoke. Had recently gotten a haircut so he looked even better. Fresh faced. Even in a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt he looked hot.
Not like you hadn’t thought about him or Steve before. Knew they were both bisexual so it wasn’t like they wouldn’t ever be interested in you but still it always felt like such a long shot. They were your best friends. You weren’t supposed to be thinking about them at night when you touched yourself. Especially when you had a boyfriend.
And they were from a different time. Actual gentleman back in the day from what you gathered. Wanted their women in the home and spoiled.
Sometimes the idea of it sounded kind of nice. Having a man dote on you. Then you had two of them really, really interested in your well being. Of course you were going to crush a little but you didn’t want to cross any lines.
“I don’t even know what I’d do without you both,” you said.
“Hey, that’s how we feel about you. Who else is going to cook for us and make sure our place is tidy when we’re gone.”
You chuckled. “You make me sound like a housewife.”
Bucky shrugged. “I mean… it’s a good look on you. Could see that.”
“Well, I mean, I’d have to find a guy first.”
“I mean… maybe you already have,” he said.
“What?” You asked with a chuckle. “Bucky, I-,”
“I know,” he cut you off. “But, can I be honest?”
“Okay…”
“You know how much I love having you around and I-,”
“What about Steve?” You asked him. “I can’t just… I can’t just do that to him.”
“We’ll worry about him later,” he replied, stroking your cheek, making you look at him. Finally placing a kiss on your lips.
You quickly pulled away with a gasp. “Bucky, we can’t… he’s my…”
“Shhh, don’t worry about, Steve, Baby,” he tried to assure you, your eyes hitting his. Something about his gaze making you feel warm on the inside.
“I- no we can’t just…”
“Yes we can,” Bucky said. “It’s okay.”
And as bad as you wanted to keep fighting him. For some reason you just couldn’t. As Bucky pulled you close so that he could go back to kissing you.
Fuck his lips did feel good. And everything with your now ex. You were vulnerable. You wanted to feel wanted.
But, Steve…
“Don’t worry about Steve, Baby,” Bucky whispered in your ear again. “Focus on me.”
Bucky’s fingers went under your dress. Gripping your thighs. A curl in his lip. Fuck he was so pretty.
He slowly pushed you down. Climbing on top of you so he could really take control. Pushing your legs up so that he could get in between them. Kissing you more before you could protest.
Bucky was getting his fucking taste. Just because your stupid little boyfriend didn’t want to taste it, didn’t mean he didn’t want to. He was getting it.
“Fuck!” You gasped as he started kissing your collarbone. No longer thinking about your ex or his boyfriend.
Felt good to have you right where he wanted you. Finally. It had taken him this goddamn long.
You laid back as Bucky got on his knees. Placing a kiss on one of your knees first before going up towards your thigh. A breath hitched in your throat. If you were feeling hesitant, he could change your mind.
“Bucky,” you whimpered as he spread your legs, to get a good look at your panty covered pussy.
“So fucking pretty,” he groaned as he looked up at you. His poor girl still obviously shy. That’s okay he’d take care of you. Just needed to-
“Fuck!” You cried as he kissed you through your panties. “We shouldn’t-,” you tried to keep it going.
Not like he cared as he pushed your underwear to the side so he could lick a strip from the bottom up to your clit. Making your words get caught in your throat as you laid back with a moan. Yeah that’s what he fucking thought. He knew you wanted this shit.
You trembled as he feasted on your clitoris. Sinking into the cushions as your hips stuttered. See he knew you liked it. It was so much better when you didn’t fight him. Now he could really give it to you.
He didn’t waste anymore time as he pulled the fabric from your body. Not giving a single fuck as to where it could have possibly been discarded before diving back in. It had been a long time since he’d done this, but it’s not like Steve wasn’t aware that he’d missed a woman’s touch. Maybe more than he realized.
“Fuck me, Bucky,” you sobbed as he got you closer. It had been so long since sex had just been about you that maybe you should take advantage of being a pillow princess. What girl wouldn’t want her hot metal armed best friend to eat her pussy. Can’t believe you tried to turn this down. “Don’t stop!”
Not like he planned too. Especially as he dipped his fingers into your cunt. Twisting them around so he could find your spot.
“Ah!” You cried, as soon as he hit it. That’s his fucking girl. He watched as your face twisted up in pleasure. Could taste how close you were. How yummy you were.
“Buck!” Steve’s voice could be heard from the hallway as the door slammed closed.
You sat up, quickly. Pushing his head away and scooting away from him to smooth out your dress. Shit. Fuck. “Babe, it’s okay,” Bucky whispered.
What the hell does he mean it’s okay. His boyfriend was about to walk in on-
“Oh, Y/N, I didn’t know you were here,” Steve said as he came into the room. Placing a quick peck on Bucky’s lips making your mouth drop. He had to have tasted you on his lips. You found yourself feeling stuck as you sat up, making sure you were covered. “Is everything okay?” Steve asked with a raised eyebrow.
Except it was like you couldn’t speak. What the hell were you supposed to even say as if his boyfriends face hadn’t just been close to making you squirt all over it.
“She caught Bryce cheating,” Bucky explained. Funny how that literally had not been on your mind this entire time.
Steve looked taken aback and scoffed. “What? No? Seriously?”
“Y-yeah… with… some girl,” you replied, not wanting to meet his eyes.
The super solider frowned as he grabbed your hand to pull you into a hug. Wrapping his arms around you. “Oh, honey. I’m sorry. He’s a fucking idiot,” he said, much like his boyfriend when you’d first told him.
Only making you feel more horrible inside. How the hell could you do this to him. Especially after what Bryce had just done to you.
“It’s okay,” you said. “Maybe I should go.”
“And go where?” Bucky asked. “Not back to that apartment I can tell you that. Just stay here.”
The pair of panties Bucky had taken off of you were practically staring at you from the other side of the room. Steve’s back turned to it. “At least stay for dinner,” he said. “We can get whatever you want.”
Except even the suggestion made you feel more awful. Steve did not deserve this. If anything you should just say it. Not that the words would actually leave your lips. Tongue tied and all you could do was nod.
It was insane how quickly Bucky was able to act totally normal. Or that you were more frustrated that you never actually got the chance to finish. They were right though, you really didn’t have anywhere else to go, but here.
So there you sat right next to Bucky as the three of you ate the dinner Steve had ordered you. Trying to keep your cool as you didn’t want to bring too much attention to yourself. Even as you squirmed in your seat, trying to relieve some of the pressure. Bucky had really done a number on you. Could still feel his mouth on your lapping at your clit.
“So what happened?” Steve had finally asked from his spot across from the two of you. Obviously wanting to know everything. Not like you two weren’t normally close.
Your jaw dropped as you immediately tried to think of a lie. “Um, nothing,” you blurted out.
Bucky put his hand on your thigh, attempting to relax you except you were way too on edge. How could he just be touching you like this.
His boyfriend on the other hand raised an eyebrow at your outburst. “I thought you caught Bryce cheating?” He asked.
You closed your eyes. Duh he was talking about that. “I mean, I did,” you replied with a nervous laugh. “Yeah, he was with some girl.” You sighed.
“Well, what are you going to do now? You know we’re not going to let you go back. We have a perfectly fine guest room,” he said a smile on his face. Looking every bit of nice and sweet as he always did. The guilt already feeling like it was going to eat you up.
Didn’t even pay attention as you felt Bucky’s metal hands going up your thigh more. Getting dangerously close to the intimate place his face had just been buried inside of. You put your hand over it to move him, but he didn’t budge. Not giving a single shit.
You gulped at his fingers found their way up your dress again. Biting your lip as he chuckled. Not taking his eyes off of you as you struggled to answer. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“Bullshit.” Bucky laughed. “You’re staying with us, Doll.”
You crinkled your nose which turned into biting the inside of your cheek, trying to hold in a moan. “We won’t take no for an answer.”
Well, that much was obvious.
——————————————————
The two of them helped you get settled in. You wore one of Bucky’s t-shirts since you literally didn’t have anything else. Had finally managed to grab your panties before you hoped Steve had seen them.
Your body still screaming out for release. Before giving you his shirt he’d whispered in your ear. “And you better not make yourself cum when you’re in the shower. Only I’m allowed to do that.” Wanting to prolong your torture.
What kind of shit was that. How did he get you so worked up like this. So easily. Hell that whole time you were with Bryce you can’t remember that happening. Not like you wanted to think about him.
The distraction was pretty nice, you had to admit. Who had time to think about being cheated on when your hot best friend was trying to eat your pussy.
As you opened the door you poked your head out, hesitating to call out to them. Hey, guys?” You called. Poking your head out from the restroom.
“Yeah?” Both of them were quick to chime in.
“Can you bring me some shirts!?” You asked. “I’m a little… exposed.”
You couldn’t see him, but Bucky snickered as Steve tilted his head at him. Both of them standing on either side of their king sized bed. “What?” Bucky said. “Oh come on I’m sure it’s fine,” Bucky tried to say with a straight face, but as soon as he was done he chuckled.
Steve shook his head, but couldn’t help the smirk that came on his face. “It’s really short,” you complained. “And I don’t have clean underwear.”
With that Bucky winked in his boyfriend’s direction. “Be right back.”
The smirk didn’t drop from the super soliders face as his boyfriend left the room. Only to go back to making up the third spot on the bed between them.
“What’s up, Doll?” Bucky asked seeing your head still sticking out.
“It’s too short,” you said, biting your lip.
He raised an eyebrow. Going to push the door open, not caring that you’d been blocking it. “Lemme see.”
“No!” You protested.
Bucky rolled his eyes. “Oh come. You’re acting like I didn’t just eat you out,” he said.
“Steve is right outside,” you whispered harshly.
He rolled his eyes. “Steve’s in the room.”
“Yeah and he has super soldier hearing,” you pressed.
“It’s not all he has,” Bucky said under his breath. “Doll, you’re fine. I can’t even see anything.”
“My ass is out!” You gasped.
The man smirked at that, getting behind you to press your ass into his crotch. “And what a nice ass it is,” he whispered in your ear. Flesh hand landing on your breast to squeeze it and not giving a shit as you tried to swat him away. Going down your body until he was pushing up the shirt.
“We can’t!” You protested as his hand slipped down to your pussy. As bad as you wanted him to touch you, it didn’t seem wise. Fuck your body was practically crying for the release he couldn’t give you earlier.
“Everything okay?” Came the other man’s voice from outside the door.
Bucky scrunched his nose. “Yeah,” he called. Going to open up the door. “Tell her it’s not that bad,” he pressed.
You tried to tug it down so it was a little bit more past your thighs. Face heating up as Steve scanned up and down your body. “You look fine, Doll.”
Ugh. There the both of them go. The two of them were way too handsome to be having you stand here exposed with a dripping wet pussy. You bit your lip. Not like anyone else would see you. Just them. “Well… ok…” you sighed.
“Wanna watch a movie before bed?” Steve asked.
You nodded. Bucky put his hand on your lower back. Going down dangerously close to your ass. Only to finally come down to squeeze it tightly. Making you yelp. “Ah!”
Steve furrowed his eyebrows but laughed. “You ok?”
“I’m fine,” you squeaked, putting your hand over your mouth. Before making a pointed look at his boyfriend.
“Anyway, I was thinking we could watch a movie before bed,” Steve suggested.
“Actually, I’m kinda tired,” you immediately replied. Going to stretch your arms up and yawn until you remember how exposed you were.
“Oh come on, it’ll be fine,” Bucky said, nudging you.
“No. I have to be at work so early,” you replied. “It’s already way too late.”
“Hell no. You’re taking a sick day.” He looked appalled at the notion.
“I can’t.” You sniffled. “Besides, I’m off the next day. I’ll be fine.”
Bucky huffed. “Alright, fine, but what are you going to wear to work then?”
“I’ll just wash my clothes before we go to sleep,” you replied with a sigh. Haven’t exactly thought all of that through.
“So, movie it is?” Steve said.
Of course they’d get their way. Trying to keep your shirt from riding up too much as you went on your tippy toes to put your stuff in the wash. Closing your eyes when you realized your panties were still missing.
You peeked over to where they would have been. Except Steve would have definitely noticed them by now. “Looking for these?” Bucky asked. Holding up the pair. You immediately glanced over at where Steve was in the kitchen before reaching out to snatch them. “Ah, ah, ah,” he held them above his head. “Finders keepers, Doll,” he teased.
You let out a huff, crossing your arms. “Why are you being like this?” You asked. Honestly it was all so shocking. Normally he was such a sweetheart. He eats you out once and this is what he turns into?
Bucky shrugged. “Because I can,” he replied with a wink before leaning into kiss your cheek. “Now wipe that look off your face before I do it for you. You hear me?”
You nodded and sniffled. Wishing you’d gone anywhere else. Natasha’s maybe. Or hell even Sam’s place would have been fine. Not like you didn’t like how Bucky’s mouth had felt on you. It’s just now you were feeling terrible for doing all of this under Steve’s nose.
“Good girl,” he said, placing a chaste kiss on your lips.
You sighed as he went back to the bedroom. Making you raise an eyebrow. Weren’t the three of you supposed to be watching a movie?
“Hey, Doll,” Steve said from his spot on the bed. Going through Netflix. “What movie did you wanna watch?”
“Oh? We’re watching in here?”
“Yeah?” He replied. “That a problem?”
You looked over at Bucky who despite not responding, had a smirk on his face that you wish you could wipe off of him. Sitting there smug with his hand in his pocket. No doubt toying with the pair of panties he’d stolen.
“Actually I think I’m just gonna go to bed after all,” you said. “I’m really tired.”
Bucky rolled his eyes. “Well, I forgot to set up the guest room.”
You crinkled your nose. Of course he did. “That’s ok. I can just sleep on the couch.”
“What?” Steve chimed in. “We have more than enough room for you, Doll. Come on.”
They had to be fucking with you. No way was Bucky getting what he wanted just like that. “No it’s fine. I’ll just get blankets from the linen closet.”
“Doll,” Bucky’s voice was stern. Commanding even. “Come. Here.”
You hated it when your feet started moving. Whether you wanted them to or not. “What?” You asked, not meeting his eyes as you stood in front of him.
“First of all, drop the attitude. Second, we told you, you’re sleeping in here so get over it.”
Steve watched the two of you, not saying a word. Didn’t he care that his boyfriend was trying to manipulate you? Right in front of him. Your bottom lip quivered, tears prickling at your eyes.
“I just wanna go to bed,” you whispered.
“Fine. There’s a perfectly good spot right between us. Is there a problem with that?” You shook your head. Not wanting to even argue anymore. Didn’t even feel worth it.
It was just too much for one night. All of it was. Can’t believe you hadn’t just started bursting out crying right between them.
Instead you tried to get some sleep. As restless as you were. Trying to keep yourself from tossing and turning since you didn’t want to bother them. Not like you had much room considering you were squeezed between two giant super soliders. “You ok?” Steve asked in a tired voice.
“Hm?” You hummed, not taking your eyes off the ceiling. “Can’t sleep.”
He yawned. “Hey, I know your ex was an ass, but you know Buck and I are going to be with you through this whole thing, right?”
You nodded, not saying out loud what was really on your mind. Fuck this was so wrong. Screwed up on so many levels. Too bad you didn’t kick Bryce out instead of coming over here, but at the time it was the natural thing to do.
Hell there was barely even any room between their giant bodies. Even in this large bed. Felt like if Bucky rolled over he’d end up squishing you. He’d gotten so damn close. Bad enough that the t-shirt they’d given you was sitting above your ass now.
“It’s ok I’ll be out before you guys even know it,” you said.
Steve scoffed. “Don’t be silly. You know you can stay here as long as you want. A city like this is no place for a little girl like you all alone.”
You scrunched up your nose at that. “I’m not a kid, Steve. I can take care of myself,” you assured.
“Yeah, but you shouldn’t have to. Not as long as Bucky and I are around to do it.”
Speak of the devil, that was when he wrapped his arms around your waist. Pulling you against him. Ass going to his crotch. You let out a gasp and tried to wiggle away, but with Steve so close you were stuck. Not like you could get away from him anyway with the hold he had on you.
Not like you didn’t know that he was a cuddler. Not the first time the two of you had fallen asleep together. Never with your naked ass out though.
“It’s ok, Steve. Really,” you tried to assure him. As you were doing that, Bucky decided it would be a good time to sneak his hand between your legs. Taking advantage of you being bare. You let out a gasp, jumping as soon as his hand made contact.
“You ok?” Steve asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Uh huh,” you squeaked out, trying to grab at his hands, but all he did was use one of his to hold yours down as he continued touching you.
“Hold still, little girl,” Bucky whispered in your ear, saying the last words in a mocking tone.
Your face felt hot as you looked forward at the blond. He had to know right. There was no way Bucky was just doing this right in front of him and he had no idea.
He pawed your thighs. Making sure they were nice and spread as his hand hands continued their torture. One going underneath the shirt to cup your breasts. Tweaking your nipples. He was groping you like he didn’t give a fuck about getting caught. Only made worse when his fingers finally touched your clit.
You bit your lip to keep yourself from crying out. Especially as he pushed you back so you were really pressed against him. Hard dick to your ass.
“I’m ok,” you tried to assure Steve. The words on the tip of your tongue. Pressure building in your stomach already as you’d never had the chance to finish earlier.
“When are you going to get your stuff?” Steve asked. “You know we’re going to come with you, right.”
Instead of fighting him you just replied, “T-thanks, Steve.”
“Always,” he said. “You know Bucky and I are always here for you.”
Well, obviously.
“I know we don’t say it a lot, but you mean a lot to us,” he said and all you could do was swallow as you felt his boyfriend’s fingers bringing you closer and closer to what you never got to have earlier. “And Bryce was such an asshole. He never deserved you.”
You swallowed down the moan that was threatening to bubble out of your mouth. Only made worse as you looked into Steve’s bright blue eyes as he sleepily looked over at you. Not like you hadn’t heard that a million times from both of them, but right now he just looked so freaky and-
“Ugh,” came out of your mouth which you quickly covered up with a cough.
“Are you sure you’re ok?” Steve asked once again.
“Never better,” you lied through your teeth.
Steve yawned. “We should get some sleep. Goodnight, Doll.”With that he leaned forward pressing a chaste kiss on your lips. Catching you all the way off guard.
“Steve-,” you gasped, putting your hand up to your lips.
“What?” He asked with a chuckle.
“You can’t just-,”
“It’s not big deal,” he assured. “Bucky won’t care. It was just a little goodnight kiss.”
“Yeah, but-,”
He cut you off once more. “Unless you want it be to more,” he said with a wink.
What. The. Fuck.
“Goodnight, Doll,” he said not giving you a chance to say more as he closed his eyes. Smile on his face.
Bucky stopped what he was doing to put his face into your shoulder. Light snores coming from him. Hell his hand was still in your panties. Almost like he was making sure you couldn’t get away from him. The worst part about it was that not once did he let you fall off the edge.
You’d definitely need to start looking for places tomorrow.
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alexa-fika · 4 months
Note
Hi again first you're a teacher?? Me too soon 😂
Anyway I thought of another weird idea
A child that can see dead people 🏃‍♀️ and he sees corazon when he's with law
Or any other character
I will write a lot of ideas sorry if it's annoying 😅
🐼💕~
A/N:I am a teacher! Im a preschool teacher, that is why writing this in that aspect is really easy because I see their behaviors and shenanigans everyday. What grade will you be teaching??
Also, absolutely not! I love your ideas they are incredible, it will never be annoying trust me, receiving these makes me giggle and kick my feet like a little girl
Dividers by @/saradika
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Clumsy Ghostly Guardians ( Law x gn!child!reader x Corazon)
“Dad, Dad!” The child could be seen once again running through the hallways of the submarine, their screams bouncing off the walls as they ran towards their father
Law looks up from his reading as the familiar sound of his child's footsteps approaches him. He sighs, returning his attention back to the medical journal in his hands.
“What is it?”
“Dad, who is the tall ghost who always follows you around?”
“Tall ghost who always follows me around?”
Law puts down his book to give his child his full attention
“What do they look like?”
He watches as the child changes their focus from him to next to him, attentively staring at something
“He’s really tall, he has funny lips, he has a big coat, and he falls a lot too.”
Law's brows furrow as he is genuinely confused by his child's words. However, Law gets a strange feeling in his gut that what they are seeing is none other than Corazon
“…Did they tell you their name?”
“He said his name was Rosinante, but he said you call him Corazon.”
Law's jaw hangs open as he stares at his child. Law never told his child about Corazón, and the fact that reader knows his real name and even his alias...
When the child had eaten the yuta-yuta fruit, the possibility was always at the back of his mind, but he had always brushed it off, thinking that Corazon was either following Doflamingo or Sengoku.
“...how long have you seen him?”
“Since I ate yuta-yuta”
“Since you ate the....”
Law's face goes pale with shock. He has a look of disbelief on his face
“...did he talk to you?”
“Mmhm, he said dad was the cutest when small, said you still have a gloomy expression now.”
Law's expression softens, and he sits down next to his child, trying to process everything that has occurred. He puts a hand on their head, ruffling their hair
“...what else did he say?”
“He said he’s glad you’re safe, what does that mean dad?”
Law shakes his head, trying to keep his emotions under control. He did not expect to encounter such profound news today. Law turns his attention back to his child and gives them a tight smile.
“...he means that he is happy we are safe. Did he say anything else?”
Law strokes their hair with his thumb
“He said that he is proud of you
Law's cheeks blush as tears stream down his face.
“Ah! Dad, why are you crying? Corazon, do something! You made Dad cry, meanie!”
Law covers his face with his sleeve; he struggles to regain his composure. Eventually, his heart starts to slow, and the tears stop
“Don’t worry about it; I’m just happy, Reader-ya.”
“Ah, Corazon fell again”
“Seriusly?!” He groans
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So I did made this gender neutral but in Japan a Yuta is a female spirit medium and I couldn’t find a word for medium that would fall within that 4 or 3 alliteration format that the fruits have other than with yuta, and even that was stretching it but yeah, just wanted to let you guys know 😂.
Taglist:
@imaginarydreams
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soursturniolo · 5 months
Text
left • chris sturniolo
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pairing: chris/fem!reader
tags: angst, misunderstanding, party scene, mention of past cheating in past relationship, fluff at the end
As I wave and say goodbye to my old friend Alex, I make my way through the crowded hallways and rooms trying to find my boyfriend Chris. I squeeze through people smelling of cigarettes, weed, and alcohol as I search the faces hoping to find his or at least a familiar one.
I let out a sigh of relief upon meeting a familiar pair of blue eyes by the front door. Nick. He smiles and waves me over to him.
“Hey babe, have you seen chris? Matt’s wanting to leave, he’s already in the car ready to go,” he tells me as he looks over me, also searching the crowd for Chris. I frown and shake my head.
“No, I’m still looking for him. We got separated when I went upstairs to talk to my old friend Alex,” I tell him, to which his eyes light up.
“Alex? That really cute tall guy with black hair who I’m like 99% likes men?” He asks me, sounding excited.
“Yeah! He’s an old friend of mine, we used to be coworkers. I could set you up if you want?” I offer, laughing at his giddiness.
“Oh my god please, he’s so fine,” Nick whisper yells.
“Okay, I will! Anyways, I’m still looking for chris so you guys go ahead and head back and we can just get an Uber, okay?” I suggest.
Nick nods in agreement, pulling me in for a quick hug.
“Okay, you guys be safe, we’ll see you back home,” he assures me before leaving out the front door and heading to their car. I let out a small sigh as I turn back to face the party. Nick and Matt left, Alex left once we finished talking, and I have no idea where chris is in this crowded house party. There’s at least 200 people here and I don’t know anyone here now except for Chris. I hope I can find him soon.
After twenty minutes of searching various rooms and outside I give up, sitting on a porch bench outside as I pull my phone out of my purse to text Chris to see where he is.
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The tears in my eyes finally overflow as I sniffle, putting my phone back in my purse and holding it on my lap as I wait. I can’t believe he’d just leave me here all alone. I’d never do that to him. Not only is that embarrassing but it’s so hurtful. I feel like trash and I didn’t even do anything wrong. Alex is gay. And even if he wasn’t I’d never do anything or cheat on Chris. I love him too much to even consider that.
I thought he knew that? I thought he trusted me. My tears keep streaming down my face, some falling to my lap as others slide down my cheeks and down my neck. I reach my hand up to try to wipe some away, just to look at my hand and see a dark smudge. Great. I didn’t wear waterproof mascara so now I’m sure I look ridiculous with mascara streaks everywhere.
I sniffle again try blinking away the rest of my tears as I hear a car pull up. It’s them. I see Chris quickly jump out of the back, making his way up to me quickly. I stand from the park bench, and notice how much my feet are hurting, making me wince. As Chris walks up to me that’s the first thing he sees.
“Baby, are you okay?” He asks, searching my tear streaked face with a remorseful expression.
“Fine,” my voice cracks a bit from my tears and crying fest as I step out of my heels, picking them up to carry them. Chris reaches out a hand to offer to carry them, but I shake my head and walk past him to the car.
“Baby, wait” he calls, as he follows me. Feeling anger bubble up, I whip around to face him.
“What Chris? What do you want to talk about? How you left me here? How you assumed I was trying to cheat on you with some guy? How you didn’t even care to talk to me about it or make sure I could get home after you left me here? How I know no one else here because Alex left and I sent your brothers home because I never fathomed my boyfriend who I love more than anything would just leave me here like I’m trash? What do you want to talk about, huh?” I question rapidly, yelling by the time I finish, a new set of hot tears rolling down my face.
He sighs, looking at me so defeated and sad. He knows he fucked up. But I don’t have it in me to care about how he feels at the moment.
“I’m so deeply sorry, baby. I fucked up. Big time.” He whispers, looking down at me.
I bring my hands up to my face, roughly wiping my tears away as I nod. I don’t have the energy to talk about this anymore, so I turn around and finish walking to the car, opening the back passenger side door and getting in, sliding down the seat until I’m seated behind Matt. Chris gets in a shuts the door, settling in behind Nick. I feel Matt and Nicks eyes on me and look up at them as I reach for my seatbelt.
“Sorry, guys, for making you come back here for me,” I whisper, feeling embarrassed again at the predicament Chris’s actions have put me in. Nick and Matt quickly shake their heads.
“Hey, it’s perfectly okay we wanted to come get you,” Nick kindly tells me, before giving Chris a glare and turning back around in the front passenger seat.
“This isn’t your fault, no need to apologize, we’re just glad you’re okay,” Matt assures me, his eyes and expression soft before it hardens to a judgement look as he looks to Chris before starting the car.
The car ride back home is quiet. I feel Chris’s gaze on me a few times but I never return it. All I want is a hot shower and to sleep so this night can be over.
The car lurches to a stop in front of the house. I quickly unbuckle and exit the vehicle before Chris can try to say anything. I quickly make my way to our bedroom, setting my heels and purse down as I pick up my previously laid out pj set. I make my way to the adjoined bathroom, shutting and locking the door as Chris makes his way through the bedroom door.
I take my time in the bathroom, taking of my leftover makeup and brushing my hair out before stepping into the steamy shower I had heating up. I shower slowly, exfoliating and shaving as I let a hair mask sit in. I rinse out the mask and rinse my body one last time before turning off the water and stepping out. I dry off quickly and change into my pj set. I now stand in front of the bathroom door, dreading going out to face Chris. I find myself hoping he’s already asleep as I slowly open the bathroom door and step into our dimly lit bedroom that we share. I look up to find him meeting my gaze, changed into a white tank and boxers as he sits up against the headboard. He pats the spot next to him on the bed, and I sigh, shaking my head.
“I’ll sleep in the living room tonight,” I quietly suggest as I walk up to the bed and move to grab my pillow. His hand reaches up and grabs mine gently to stop me.
“Please sit with me. Five minutes, that’s all I’m asking, and then if you still want to not sleep with me I’ll move to the living room, okay?” He quietly asks.
I sigh, mulling it over before nodding. I sit down next to him against the headboard of his bed. Chris reaches out a hesitantly grabs my hands in his, looking at me as if he’s waiting for me to pull away. I consider it, but I’m tired and I just want to hear what he has to say so I can go to sleep. He lets out a sigh of relief when I don’t pull away.
“Baby, you have no idea how sorry I am. I fucked up. There is no excuse for what I did. I just got so scared when I went upstairs and saw you talking with that guy. You guys were getting along and laughing when I came up to find you and my mind immediately went to the worst. And I’m so sorry for what I did after that. I should have never left you there. I shouldn’t have assumed my brothers would get you home. I left my girlfriend at a crowded, gross house party where she barely knew anyone and that’s a mistake that’s on me that I will be apologizing for every day for a long time,” he tells me, expression sad but heartfelt as he apologizes. I can see in his eyes that he’s genuinely sorry for what he did, but I’m still confused and hurt about one thing specifically.
“Why did you think the worst? Why didn’t you trust me?” I ask softly.
He sighs, looking down at our held hands before meeting my eyes again.
“My ex. Before you, a year ago. She cheated on me at a party and it was like the same scenario. She went upstairs to talk to a guy friend ‘in a more quiet space’ she claimed. When I went up to check on her after not seeing her for a bit they were all over each other, making out. It broke my heart. When I came up and saw you and him laughing and playfully hitting each other it took me right back to that moment. But you’re the polar opposite of my ex, in the best way, and I should have known you’d never do that to me. I’m so sorry. Like I said, there’s no excuse for what I did, all I can tell you is that I’m so deeply sorry. I know better, I knew better. I should have done better. And I will next time. I promise you, baby.” He vows.
“You know I’d never cheat on you, right? I love you,” I tell him, feeling my lip quivering as tears gather in my eyes again.
He nods quickly, wrapping me in his arms and pulling me into his chest.
“I know baby, I know. I love you too, I’m so sorry,” he whispers against my head as he pressed gentle kisses there.
“It’s okay,” I whisper against his chest, “just please don’t leave me somewhere again?” I ask, and I feel him quickly nod in agreement.
“Never again, baby, never again. I’m so sorry. Can you forgive me?” He asks, his hand coming to cup my face to lead me to look up at him. I gaze into his eyes and all I see is a combination of warmth and regret for what he did. I lean in and press my lips gently to his. I feel him smile slightly against my lips, making me smile in return as I pull away.
“I forgive you. Love you too much not to,” I say, laughing a little. He smiles and laughs a bit too, thanking me as he pulls me in for another kiss.
We settle into bed together that night, cuddled close to each other, both of us enjoying the comfort we brought each other.
tag list members; @secret-sturniolo @sturniolopepsi @christinarowie332 @mangosrar @cupidsword @st4rswrld @biimpanicking @bernardenjoyer @lovingsturniolo @loveesiren @sturnphilia @mxqdii @oh-toseewithoutmy-eyes @its-jennarose @fionaheartswomen @hedgehogperalta @lea0518 @lxvlysworld @mattsd0ll @urmyslxt @thetriplets3 @lilsxo10 @recklesssturniolo @meg-sturniolo @flowerxbunnie @mlimmm
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sunlightmurdock · 6 months
Text
My Future in You | 2.6 | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader
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Synopsis: Bradley’s twenty-two years old and not where he’s supposed to be. Then, a hook up at a Halloween party changes his future even more than he could have imagined.
Warnings: accidental pregnancy, references to abortion in a few chapters, angst, will be fluff eventually, will be smut so 18+, enemies to lovers kinda thing, babies and fluff and more babies, bradley being a nervous first time daddy, wc: 3.8k
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“This… doesn’t look right.” Bradley pulls back and rests his hands against his hips, staring at the car seat with an unimpressed gaze frown.
“Sure it does.” You answer, peering around him to examine the situation in front of you. The straps are secure at the top of his chest, his plush cheek resting against the padded restraints.
“I don’t think so. He doesn’t look comfortable.” Bradley answers you with a shake of his head. This is his second practice of the day. He doesn’t want Tom to be in the car seat too long, but he knows that his most significant job in all of this is getting the two of you home safe.
He leans forwards and begins to fiddle with the straps again. Your newborn doesn’t seem fussed by his neurotic, worried dad anyways. Bradley hums. “Don’t worry, buddy, we’ll figure it out.”
“The Bradshaws! — How are we this morning?”
This, Thomas is fussed by. Over the last six days, the first six of his life, you’ve figured that your son has some pretty sharp reflexes. Even just blowing on his cheek makes him flinch. He jumps, arms and legs tensing at once, his still unfocused eyes blowing wide open as the doctor strolls into the room.
His lip begins to wobble and his nose scrunches up tight, his hands trembling under the confines of his mittens. You nudge Bradley out of the way and unclasp the straps right as Thomas begins to cry.
“Oh, sorry. Didn’t mean to spook this little sweetheart.” The doctor is smiling and reaching out to tickle the infant’s back and on your end, everything is forgiven. Bradley, however, glares at her as he reaches his son.
You hadn’t been expecting the same guy who once jumped off of the roof of a neighbouring frat house and into their pool to be such a nervous nelly when it came to parenthood. Especially not the same guy who told you he wanted no part in any of this.
You roll your eyes, rocking softly, shushing the baby. These past six days have taught you a lot of things. That the birthmark on the bottom of Thomas’ back is kind of the shape of Italy. That even though he can’t see much yet, he likes to look around while he’s being fed. That Bradley is not fast enough at changing diapers yet to avoid getting peed on.
That somehow, you and Bradley might have just created the most perfect little boy in the entire world. With his thatches of brown hair and his tiny fingers and toes, his sloped nose and poured lips. Those funny, jumpy reflexes.
“I’m just here to do some tests, see if we can get you guys home today.” She tells you with a bright smile. From the way that your face changes, she can tell that this is the news that you’ve been waiting for. Six days of barely walking, hearing other people’s babies screaming — you’ve been ready to go home for a while.
“Today? — Nobody said today. They said tomorrow.” Bradley interjects loudly. You scowl across at him and he shuts up, but the nervous way he fidgets on his feet tells you everything you need to know.
“I know, I know. But he’s doing just fine so far, and I’m sure you two are eager to sleep in your own beds again.” The doctor coos softly, learning from her initial mistake as she takes the baby from your arms. She follows your pattern of soothing and rocking and Thomas seems to consider quietening down.
Bradley pushes his hands into the pockets of his sweat shorts and just leans back against the end of the hospital bed. He’s so focused on watching this stranger with your baby that he doesn’t even hear you move until you’re pressing in against his side.
“You’re doing fine.” You promise him, stretching your open palm against the fabric of his black t-shirt, stretching your neck to look at him. “Stop stressing.”
He doesn’t say anything, and that worried frown on his face doesn’t soften either. Bradley swallows, brushes a hand over his upper lip and reaches out for you. You close
Your eyes as he secures an arm around your waist and tugs you closer, leaning down and resting his mouth against the top of your head.
He inhales deeply, breathing in the scent of unfamiliar shampoo and hospital borrowed soap.
“She called you a Bradshaw, you know.” He whispers finally, just before he straightens back up. You scoff, jabbing the tip of your index finger into his side.
“Don’t get any ideas, Pops. It’s bad enough you talked me into letting Tommy take your name.” You’re joking, of course. The amusement in your voice makes his chest feel that little bit less tight. You’ll say yes, one day. He’ll make sure it’s special and you’re not giving birth next time, and you’ll say yes.
He pinches your side playfully and tugs you closer again. “Pops? — I thought we agreed on you calling me—“
He grunts as you jerk your elbow back into his stomach, just enough to make him jolt but not enough to actually hurt the idiot you’ve come to be so fond of. There it is, he grins behind you, his chest rumbling with a soft chuckle.
Minutes later, the doctor turns around to you and gives you the go-ahead. Suddenly, the little boy in the roomy onesie is all yours, and yours alone. Well, not that suddenly, there’s paperwork first. But sudden feels the only appropriate word when you’re walking out of the hospital, with no one to guide you.
Bradley’s knuckles are white around the handle of the car seat in his right hand, a slightly softer approach to the way that he’s holding your hand in his left.
“You’re sure you can walk? — They said you could have a chair, if you want a chair.” He checks, for the second time since you stepped out of the elevator.
“I’m fine.” You give his hand a soft squeeze and groan softly as you step out into the mid-summer suffocation of the Florida heat. “Now walk with purpose. It’s too hot for this.”
Settled into the backseat beside Thomas, sleeping in his car seat, you catch Bradley frowning worriedly back at the both of you before he turns the key in the ignition.
The drive home is slow, and uneventful. The baby is asleep. Bradley’s eyes are trained seriously on the road, his hands holding a steady ten and two position on the wheel. You don’t dare suggest that he turns on the radio.
There were plenty of things that you had prepared yourself for when you had decided to have your baby. Your body changing, fine. Your career plans changing, okay. The hormones and the responsibilities and the tiny human who would depend on you for probably the rest of your life, sure.
Some things about such a drastic lifestyle change simply cannot be planned for.
Nine hours ago, you brought your son home from the hospital. This is something that you would never admit out loud, but in those last few days of your pregnancy, the concern had flooded your mind that maybe your feelings for Bradley were purely hormonal. You were carrying his child, it makes sense that your body would want him around. It was the after that had concerned you.
But, you had watched today as Bradley had carried the car seat in one hand and secured you by his side with the other. He had buckled your son into the car, and he had driven home under the speed limit the entire way.
You exhale softly as you step out of the shower. That’s growing easier now, six days later, but your body is far from healed. Your legs still tremble when you try to stand too long, and your back aches in a way you’re starting to worry might be permanent.
It’s quiet in your apartment now. You listen out as you towel dry your body, trying to find the pitch of a sports narrator or some soft music — anything. It’s almost dead silent.
You wriggle into your pyjamas and wrap your wet hair, walking slow out of the bathroom and down the hall. You’re barely dry, your warm feet padding along the carpet, wrinkled fingers pushing open the door to the bedroom.
One of the things that none of the articles you had read seemed to mention, is what to do the first time that you see the father of your child at home with your baby.
Bradley’s sitting up against the pillows with Thomas nestled against his chest. His hand eclipses the infant’s torso as he pats his back softly. Thomas’ cheek is resting against Bradley’s pectoral, you can’t see from where you are but instinct and your son’s uncharacteristic stillness tells you that he’s sleeping.
Bradley’s singing. He’s patting the baby’s back gently and he’s singing softly, trying hard to push the usually deep rumble of his voice into lullaby territory.
Your mouth falls slack, cold feet becoming still against the soft floor. This tiny first apartment and its discernible wooden doors that creak at every opportunity give you away and he stops just as quickly as he is perceived.
His gaze flickers up and his lips twist softly into a small smile. You watch him take account of your matching maternity pyjamas which threaten to be too big without the stretch of your bump. Amusement floods the hint of the smile on his lips — he loves to laugh at these pyjamas.
His hand stills against Thomas’ back, those glittery brown eyes flicker up to study the look on your face.
“Hey, babe,” He hums, keeping his voice low so that he doesn’t startle the baby. “How was your shower?”
“I didn’t think I would miss our shitty water pressure, but I’m just so glad we’re not at the hospital anymore.” You pad across the carpet towards him and crawl into bed, pulling back the sheets and draping yourself across Bradley’s brawny thighs.
He looks down at you and secures the infant close to his chest, freeing one hand to brush tenderly across your cheek.
“What was that song were you singing him?” You ask. The ceiling fan whirs above you like a thrumming, excessively loud lullaby. The warmth of his thigh props up your cheek.
There’s something about it all that feels too much like a dream. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep. The NICU isn’t exactly a luxury retreat, despite its price point. Tonight is your first night home from the hospital. Your son is six days old and yesterday, he officially crossed the threshold into five pound territory. Tonight, he’s huddled against Bradley’s bare chest, wearing a diaper that had seemed too tiny for an actual human to wear and zipped into a onesie printed with little ducks on it. Geese, maybe, actually.
You lift your hand and reach out, watching your fingertip follow the soft cotton covering those wrinkled lines on the sole of Thomas’ foot that you’ve come to be so familiar with already.
The infant curls his toes and unclenches them again, scrunching his knees. Bradley watches, lips twisted into a smile that he couldn’t fight back if he tried.
There’s something about the steady, heavy thrum of Bradley’s heartbeat that puts the kid right to sleep. The warm bath and the ounce of milk that came before he was set on his dad’s stomach may have helped too. Bradley’s hand cups the back of Thomas’ neck, keeping the sleeping baby steady.
“Wildflowers by, uh— Tom Petty, I think?” Bradley shrugs. In truth, he knows the song inside and out — it was the first song he learned to play on piano. He’s used to playing that down. Girls find guitars hot, not his years of classical piano lessons.
You smile, lifting your head and pressing a gentle kiss to the sole of the baby’s foot, soft blue cottons
against your lips. Then, you lower your mouth and press it softly to Bradley’s stomach. Just once, before you drop your head back down and set it against his thigh.
“He’s so good, and I’m still exhausted.” You murmur, exhaling deeply. Behind heavy lids, you make a mental note to look into which ingredient in the smell of baby soap acts as such a good sleeping agent.
“You should sleep. He’ll be up again in a couple of hours.” Bradley reminds you, stroking damp hair back off of your forehead. Closing your eyes, you nod with him, but make no effort to move. He smiles. “Come on, I don’t need to sing the both of you to sleep, do I?”
You huff a soft sound of amusement, giving a small shake of your head. “Not tonight, Pops. Put him to bed, let’s get some sleep.”
Bradley chuckles, carefully shifting your son off of his stomach and instead laying him across his thighs as you sit up.
“Mom and Dad… isn’t that crazy?” He muses, stroking his thumb across the soft hair on the infant’s head. Thomas is still so small that Bradley’s palm makes him look even tinier. You lean into your boyfriend’s shoulder and stroke the baby’s cheek.
“I know.” You agree quietly.
Big, round cheeks and pursed lips, dark eyelashes and a soft little nose. His tiny hands balled into fists, his knees curled up to his middle. Blue clouds adorning his onesie. Half you, and half Bradley.
“Alright, we’ll see you in a couple hours, little man. Yell if you need something.” Bradley half jokes as he pushes himself up from the bed and turns to set the baby into the bassinet. With the lung capacity he has already impressed you with, you know that he’ll have no issues letting you know if he wants something.
He crawls back into bed beside you and flicks the beside lamp off, pulling the covers up around the two of you. Readily, you press yourself close to him and close your eyes. He smells like baby soap.
“Are you still hurting anywhere?” Bradley’s voice lowers to a whisper now, his breath fanning across the nape of your neck as he leans his head into the crook of your shoulder and cautiously rests a hand against your hip. Into the dark, your mouth twitches at a smile.
Your hips feel both squished and torn apart at the same time. Your back feels like it might never feel quite right ever again. But even with him a cautious distance from you, you can feel the perpetual warmth from his body.
“Everywhere. But I still want you to hold me.”
Slowly, he slides an arm under you and another over you. Draping his body around yours, he pulls you close and suddenly you get whatever it is that sends Thomas off to sleep so easily. The faint musky smell of his fading cologne. The steady, heavy thrum of his heartbeat. The long, deep pattern of his breathing.
Just when you think he has beat you to it, he reminds you that he’s still awake. A soft, chaste kiss presses to your throat, his voice low as he mumbles, “I love you.”
As much as Thomas is a good baby; he’s still a baby. A small one at that, with plenty of growing to do. Even now, he just about finishes an ounce of milk at a time — half of the time. That means a lot of wake ups. A lot of diaper changes with your eyes half open.
The first four days of parenthood pass you by before you’ve really come to terms with the reality of it all. Constant feeds through the night, surviving off of instant noodles and pizza — all of this doesn’t feel too far of a stretch from your recent college days.
But it’s harder now. The responsibilities are never ending. It’s hard to remain rational about any of it.
“If you could breastfeed, would you do it?”
From the other end of the couch, Bradley seems to startle awake. Brows drawing together in confusion, he stares across your dimly lit living room at you, then takes a second to look around him.
You’re at the end of the movie now, so he doesn’t have a clue how long he has been sleeping. Stretching his legs out, he sighs softly, “Yeah. I guess so.”
Your mouth twitches at the fact that he doesn’t even ask you why. He blinks softly and brings both hands up to rub at his eyes tiredly.
“What time is it?”
“Two, maybe.” You shrug, watching Thomas’ eyelids grow heavy. His hands remain balled and tucked in against his chest. He has spent these past four days stretching out occasionally, scrunching himself back into a tight ball frequently.
“No fucking way did I just sleep for four hours. The movie’s still playing.” Bradley protests, awkwardly fumbling to push himself upright and puckering his mouth into a deep frown. You just shrug across at him once more.
“I put the sequel on after you fell asleep.”
He hadn’t ever thought he would be able to have a regular conversation with a woman who had her breast out in front of him, but here he is. It doesn’t even cross his mind to check you out. The only thing he’s thinking about is the fact you’re running on maybe an hour of uninterrupted sleep and all you had wanted was to watch your movie with him. And he had fallen asleep.
He fumbles around, checking his pockets for his phone, finding it instead resting between his jaw and shoulder. You close your eyes for a moment as he checks the time. In the split second that your eyes are shut, Thomas makes a spluttering sound.
As quickly as you can lift and turn him, the has already spit the last mouthful of milk back against your skin and all down his chin.
“Oh, Tommy…” You groan, adjusting the strap of your nursing bra with one hand as you support him with the other.
“Here, I’ll take him.” Bradley offers, pushing himself up and starting to scoot towards you.
“We’re fine.” Maybe it comes out a little bit harsh, maybe your tone is a little colder than normal. Bradley frowns at you, sitting still at the opposite end of the sectional. “Just go back to sleep.”
“Hey, I didn’t mean to—“
“I know you didn’t.” You’re just doubling down at this point as you wipe at Thomas’ mouth with a muslin cloth. Bradley’s brows draw together a bit.
“So why are you mad at me? — Just let me help you.” He pushes forwards again and reaches for your son.
“I said we’re fine!” You bite back. The baby flinches and quickly starts to scream. You slam your eyes shut, darkness behind your lids and a dull ache drilling from your temples to the core of your brain.
Opposite you, Bradley sighs, dropping his head forward into his hands. You’re both silent. The sequel plays on. The baby keeps on screaming. Neither one of you look at each other.
This is what all new parents go through, you know that. It doesn’t make it any less sore in the moment.
“What should I do?” Bradley asks finally, pushing up from the sofa and squeezing against your side, wrapping an arm around your aching shoulders. It’s not worth dragging your eyes open for.
“Never get me pregnant again, for starters.” You mutter half-jokingly. Bradley chuckles at your side and turns his head to kiss at those sore temples, like he can feel where it hurts. Maybe those dad-senses are sharper than you give him credit for.
“Not even once more? — But look how cute the first one wa—“ He’s only joking of course, but he still has the good sense to shut up when you turn your head and glare at him. He grins, and he looks just like he did the first time you were stupid enough to melt for that pretty look.
“You hungry?” Bradley asks. He read somewhere that breastfeeding can cause stronger appetites.
“Yeah.”
“Dad’s got it. We’ll be right back.” Bradley promises you, dipping forwards and kissing your temple once more, stealing the baby in one fell swoop. “Come on, buddy.”
Bradley pads into the kitchen barefoot, bouncing the baby in his arms and you let your eyes fall shut once more. You’re only two weeks in. They don’t start sleeping through the night for another couple months at least — sometimes years. You don’t know how you could do another couple years of being this delirious.
Closing your eyes, it’s easy enough to imagine that you’re not here. That you’re still in school, or still in your parents’ house. Somewhere safer, where you could hide from the limited responsibilities that you had back then. It would be so easy to drift off into a dream about life being that easy again.
Instead, the sofa dips at your side and your boys are back. Bradley announces himself by kissing your cheek softly and pressing a spoon into your hand.
“All we have is Ice-Cream.” He tells you, settling Thomas into the crook of his elbow and passing the tub of ice cream off to you. You blink at the vanilla flavoured frozen treat in front of you, then look up to stare at him. “I’ll go to the store tomorrow. We’ll both go. You can stay here and sleep in.”
You look away for just a second, digging the tip of your spoon into the ice cream, and hear him continue.
“We can get whatever we want, Mommy won’t be there to tell us no.”
Despite your best efforts, a smile itches its way across your face. You turn your head and attempt to force at a scowl. All five of Thomas’ right-hand fingers are wrapped around Bradley’s little finger, they both seem to be looking at you.
“I don’t care what you come home with as long as there’s more of this stuff in there somewhere.” You decide, slipping a spoonful into your mouth and savouring the flavour on your tongue. Bradley shifts, leaning his head against yours.
“Share.” He demands, leaving his mouth open. You snuff your nose at him as you dig another spoonful from the tub and shovel it into his mouth. “That’s so good.”
“Probably not what we should be eating. We aren’t setting a very good example.” You hum, ignoring your own advice and gulping down another spoonful, kicking your feet up onto the coffee table.
If only your mother could see you now. She would lose her marbles if she saw your approach to motherhood.
“Eh, this kid pees himself all day long. We’ll start being good examples for him later on.” Bradley shrugs, leaning his weight into you, turning his attention back to the tv. “So can you explain to me what I missed?”
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Taglist: @chaoticweirdogeek @alanadetigy @itsmytimetoodream @oldnatgwenaccount @khaylin27 @bioodforbiood @luckyladycreator2 @mizzzpink @cherrycola27 @unordinare @heli991113 @ghxst-heart @momc95 @asteria33 @lilyevanswhore @diamond-3 @galaxy-moon @jostyriggslover96 @forgiveliv @shawnsblue @little-wiseone @lovemesomevesey @alm33 @averyhotchner @diorrfairy @thedroneranger @batdanceq @wkndwlff @himbos-on-ice @damrlova @fudge13 @xoxabs88xox @mak-32 @slutford @kmc1989 @swiftsgirlfriend
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music-royal01 · 1 year
Text
Hearing the unheard
Sully family x deaf!omaticaya!reader part 2
Part 1: silent world loud mind
After Quatrich kidnapped his kids Jake decides that it’s no longer safe for his family to stay with the Omaticaya clan, of course they couldn’t leave you behind
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Right now you and the sullies had arrived at the Metkayina tribe and thankfully they had granted your group uturu, the Tsahik, Ronal, and her son, Ao’nung were weary of you guys but her mate, Tonowari, and her daughter, Tsireya, were kinder.
Tsireya was showing you around the village she was talking and explaining where everything was. The only problem with that was that was that you couldn’t see her face do you couldn’t understand a thing she was saying. You tapped Neteyams shoulder quietly asking him to explain what Tsireya was saying.
“I’ll tell you later” Neteyam mouthed not wanting to be rude and talk while Tsireya was talking, you nod as you all walk into the marui
“This is good. This is great” Jake said looking at the family as Tsireya leaves
“I need you to behave in an exemplary manner. I mean it” Jake says in a harsher tone looking specifically at Lo’ak
“Learn quickly, take your turn, and don’t cause trouble. Got it?” He continues
“I wanna go home” says Tuk about to cry. You pick her up noticing her distress “oh Tuk…” you whisper holding her close in an attempt to comfort her
“This is our home now Tuk” Jake says
“Besides what does your father always say” Neytiri says attempting to cheer her kids up
“Sully’s stick together…” the four siblings mumble
“Now with more enthusiasm, you too Y/N”
“Sully’s stick together” you all say Kiri rolling her eyes a little
Jake and Neytiri go to unpack everything as the kids hear Tsireya calling out to you guys
“Come swim with us” she says smiling
Lo’ak and Neteyam jump into the water happily Tuk following her older brothers as Kiri grabs your arm “come on let’s go in the water” the two of you jump into the water. The underwater reef is beautiful, underwater trees covering a lot of it as fish swim around you. The scenery makes you smiles as you swim around seeing all the different colored marine life and plants. You could see Neteyam and Lo’ak ahead of you smiling you swim around the two surprising them. You can see Tsireya signing something underwater but your out of air and can’t understand her anyways so you move up and out of the water
“What is wrong with them?” Roxto says
“Yeah their terrible divers” Ao’nung laughs
“Stop they just have to learn” says Tsireya in harsh tone
“You swim too fast” complains Tuk to the older kids
“Yeah your probably better at swimming through trees” Ao’nung mocks you all making Tsireya reprimand him again
“Your little finger thing, we don’t understand it” Neteyam says as rolls his eyes at Ao’nungs comment
“I will teach you” Tsireya says calmly
“Where is Kiri?” Roxto says looking around for the girl “Y/N where is Kiri” you where floating on your back not being able to hear a thing they were saying. The Metkayina boy called your name again before realizing that you couldn’t hear and that you weren’t ignoring him. Neteyam tapped your shoulder to grab your attention “I’m sorry what were you saying?” Roxto looked straight at you and asked where Kiri was again.
“Oh she’s still underwater, I think she’s looking at some fish” you respond politely
After a few more minutes you all split up, you and the sully kids going to back to the marui for the night and the others doing their own things
The next day~
It was just after breakfast when Tsireya entered the sully’s Marui saying that it was time for lessons. The kids follow her out saying bye to Jake and Neytiri.
Once you all got to the beach you could see Ao’nung in the water with some sort of creatures
“These are ilu. If you want to live here you have to ride” Ao’nung says with a cocky smile. Tsireya brings one of the ilu’s up to Lo’aks side
“Make the bond. Feel his breath, his strength” Tsireya says slowing backing away “remember to hold on tight” and with that the ilu dives into the water quickly Lo’ak barely holding on. Neteyam soon follows he was able to stay on better than Lo’ak, father way you could see Kiri on her own ilu staying on its back with ease. After the incident you weren’t allowed to ride your Ikran due to the fact that if there was an emergency it would be almost impossible to get your attention
“I’m sorry guys but I can’t ride” your voice was sad, Tuk hugs your side in an attempt of comfort
“Awe she’s scared, what do you think your gonna fall off” Ao’nung says laughing with Roxto. You let out a small hiss under your breath
“No it’s because if we were ever in a dangerous situation she wouldn’t be able to hear someone getting trying to get her attention,idiot” Lo’ak said in your defense. Ao’nung hisses a little at the name calling
“Its ok Lo’ak, I’m gonna go swim over there and try to find Kiri” you say swimming away into the reef
Inside the reef you swim seeing the fish and Kiri is down near the sand playing with the fish, an ilu swims up playfully. Kiri smiles and pets it before making the bond with it and was about to swim off when she spotted you, making the ilu swim to you she grabs you and pulls you on the ilu with her. You hold on to her tightly not wanting to fall off as the two of you zip through the water quickly
You two resurface near the others laughing. God how you missed riding and you though, if I can’t ride alone anymore it’s nice that I can still ride with someone. The Metkayina kids released you and the sully kids from lesson to get lunch saying that they would continue later near sunset.
Soon sunset came around and the 7 out of the 8 of you gather around on a rock to practice your breathing. Tuk unfortunately couldn’t be there due to the fact that it was almost dark.
“Imagine a flickering flame” says Tsireya in a calming voice
“You must slow down your heartbeat” she says and then touches Lo’aks stomach and chest
“Breath in” Tsireya speaks as Lo’ak takes a deep breath and goes to exhale
“Breath from down here. Breath slowly” she says as she touches his abdomen
Tsireya says that Lo’aks heartbeat is fast, apologizing Lo’ak takes another breath as she tells him to focus. You, Neteyam and Roxto exchange knowing looks chuckling slightly as Kiri rolls her eyes annoyed by the childish behavior
After a few minutes you and Kiri can complete the breathing exercise almost perfectly as your able to slow down your heartbeat. Neteyam is good for the most part, it’s Lo’ak who truly struggles with slowing down his heartbeat and breathing so he stays behind with Tsireya to work on that as the rest of you go home. Once you, Kiri and Neteyam are back at the marui they go to get dinner
“I’m gonna go for a swim” you say heading the opposite way from the two
“That’s not a good idea Y/N what if we need to get your attention” Neteyam says being protective as usual
“It’ll be fine Nete, I’ll stay close to the marui” you say pleading with him. Neteyam shakes his head and rolls his eyes before finally giving you the ok, you smile and jump into the water close to the marui. If anything weee to happen either Neteyam or Kiri could just jump down and find you.
You had been absolutely loving the time you we’re spending underwater it was calming and beautiful. A school of glowing fish passed in front of you swimming closely as they circled around you, smiling you stick your hand out as they scatter when an ilu swims up happily chittering before swimming away. You sat underwater staring at the plants around you when you heard something, like a pulse, strong and steady. You looked around curiously before feeling the pulse again like it was under you. And just as quickly as it was there it was gone back to the silence you had grown accustomed to within the past few months
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Tag list: @fanboyluvr @futazy @inutheangel @mashiromochi @thesecretsoftheuniverse
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hells-wasabii · 3 months
Note
I love the fics you've posted so far!! Ep5 came for my throat so could I have something for Lucifer? With a sad!reader, if you're feeling it! I'm Going Through It and duck man is such a comfort for me right now hehe
A/N: YES! FIRST LUCIFER REQ! Thank you so much! it really means a lot that you guys are enjoying reading my works as much as I'm enjoying writing them! I do wanna say that i hope things get better for you and that my writing helped at least a small bit :)
Character: Lucifer
Type: Headcanons (Lucifer x sad!reader, Fluff)
Lucifer is, without a doubt, going to be one of the most understanding inhabitants of hell of your plights. He had been cast aside as the ugly duckling from his family, he had fallen into his depression only to distract himself with hobbies. He still was, but you made it better for him. I have no doubt in my mind that he would want to make it better for you.
Some days are better than others and he knows that. On bad days he's right there by your side, hoping to be a constant source of comfort and solace. You were always there for him, so he would do the very same for you.
If you're fine with physical touch, the fallen angel would take you in his arms (whether you're taller or not), and out would come his wings to wrap around you as well. He would do his best to make it a safe space. If you wanted as well, he would take flight, holding you close, whispering soft reassurances as you tell him your deepest woes.
Oh is there anything you want? anything at all? Say the word and he'll have it for you just as quick as he can get it, even if it requires going to the other rings. He's pretty sure the other seven deadly sins owe him a few favors anyway.
As much as he cares, if you cry he will fumble the ball hard at first. He'll try to distract you, pulling out his latest duck to show you. And if that doesn't work he'll scramble to find something else. Eventually, he'll even sing for you.
Fully expect this man to stay up late with you just talking. Whether it be sharing past traumas that still ache, or talking about newer wounds on your heart, he's there, listening intently. just keep the sad thoughts away,
"You know, dear, i think i know something that can help take your mind off things... Wanna go to Lu Lu World?!"
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screeching-bunny · 7 months
Note
Helloooo my fave yandere!character writer! I hope your having a wonderful day! Can i request yandere!jock with male!reader and he finds the reader crying bc someone was bullying them or said smth mean or smth like that? Ik he would be pissed but i was thinking something along the lines of this:
*Reader explains what happens*
*Yandere!Jock absolutely pissed and turns to go beat the shit out of them*
Then the reader would grab is arm to stop him and say smthing like: “wait!…please…..please just….stay with me….please?” Like EEEEEEE I LOVE YANDERE!JOCK SMMMM AND IMA PASS OUT IF YOU DO THIS! OKAY THANKS BYE
(Also plz ignore if your requests are closed rn)
Yandere! Jock x Male Reader
Asks 2
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Warnings: Obsessive Behavior, Yandere Thoughts, Bad Writing, Stalking, Reader is specifically going to be Male in this post!!!
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Asks 1
Yandere! Jock liked looking at you whether it be intention or not his eyes were almost always on you. He loved looking at every expression you made throughout your day to day life and practically memorized every fine detail on your face. So it was no surprise that he was instantly alerted when he saw a hint of sadness appear on your face when you came in for your afternoon class. Like a little leach he started attaching himself towards you with a concerned look on his face to find out what had happened to his little darling but alas his attempts reamied futile as you refused to give him an answer that he accepted.
“I’m just tired and just didn’t get that much sleep last night.”
Tired his ass. Yandere! Jock knew for a fact that you fell asleep early last night while watching an animal documentary. How does he know this? Well, he was stalking I mean watching over you last night. Anyways the sentence “The giant horse cock weighs over eight pounds” was still fresh in his mind but that's not the point! The point is something or someone made you upset! This is honestly so absolutely unacceptable!! When class finishes he ends up cornering you to try and figure out what has happened to you. Soon you start to give in and tell him the exact reason as to why with tears bawling out of your eyes.
When he finds out the reason he is beyond pissed. A bunch of npc bullies had the audacity to go and bully you! There is nothing he wants to do then skin those losers alive for making you cry like this. How fucking dare they. Yandere! Jock immediately decides that at that moment, he would go on a manhunt. He genuinely believes that it’d be a good riddance, no way in hell is someone going to miss them. As he tries to get up, he is immediately stopped by you as you grab ahold of his arm.
“Please stay, I don’t want to be alone right now.”
Holy shit! That sentence damn near put him in a coma. He just can’t believe how adorable you are. With that, he decides right away to bring you to his home in order to comfort you. The rest of the day is spent with just the two of you guys together while watching Netflix and ordering out to eat. All of his plans that he had before were canceled in favor of being by your side. He does his best to make you happy and laugh as much as possible. That smiling face of yours suits you better than a teary eyed expression. Although he can’t do it now, he vows to absolutely destroy the lives of your bullies. The mental and physical wellbeing of yourself matter more than anything in the world to him. Anything that causes harm to you he quickly deals with even if it means people. All that he wants is that you’ll be safe in his arms and by his side whenever he wakes up.
He makes it a point to prove the words of you tormentors were false and does his best to undo their claims. He’d be so appalled by the whole situation and just can’t wrap around his head at how someone could be mean to you. Like just look at you! You’re literally perfect what the hell were they smoking when they decided to verbally assault you. Yandere! Jock would be so overbearing and clingy towards you. Wherever you went he was close behind you. You’re going grocery shopping? Cool he’s right by your side. You gotta go to class? He’s right by you. Even if he doesn’t have the class he’s still coming. Showering? Move over and make room, he wants to shower as well. Is totally the type to throw a fit when you say no which causes you to relent and let him follow you.
In a few weeks after this incident there were missing people reports all over town of local college students. The same ones who coincidentally were vicious towards you. Everytime Yandere! Jock walks past these posters, he has a hidden smug look on his face. Justifies it by saying that he’s doing it in the name of love and that those people were the spawns of Satan. Besides, they're not even dead yet. They’re just trapped in a cabin in some random woods that only he has access to. Content with himself he spends his days by your side and pledging to himself that he’d never let anyone bother you ever again.
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abravesoul03 · 3 months
Text
How would G!P Noze cock and behaviour be like during sex?!
WAY B NOZE X FEM READER
SMUT
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(・o・)(・o・)(・o・)(・o・)(・o・)(・o・)(・o)
HOW WOULD HER COCK LOOK LIKE
-When she soft she's she's still visible through her boxers so always has to wear baggy pants.
-She would be around 9inches when hard.(Vise president of the big dick club 😁)
-Not really thick.
-Has a pinkish tip.
-Whenever she's hard her cock is curved upwards.
-Her cum is more of a pale white coloured and also thick.
⋋✿ ⁰ o ⁰ ✿⋌⋋✿ ⁰ o ⁰ ✿⋌⋋✿ ⁰ o ⁰ ✿⋌⋋✿ ⁰ o ⁰ ✿⋌
HER BEHAVIOUR DURING SEX
-Jihye is a Dom.
-Never ever she's gonna sub.
-What can I say, she just loves to pleasure you.
-Rather than a girl who would fight for dominance, I think she would prefer a pillow princess to fuck.
-She loves the way, she can fuck you anyway she wants.
-Jihye loves giggly sex, she wants you to be happy and emotionally present.
-Will joke around and ask dumb questions sometimes if she feels you getting overwhelmed just to make you laugh.
-"y/n-ah do you think my little friend looks like a banana?"
-loves restraining your hands above your head as she fucks you.
-Missionary is her favourite position.
-But nothing could win her heart like doggy position.
-Is definitely an ass kinda gal.
-Will fuck your ass and spanks you in doggy position.
-Will definitely creampie your ass.
-She loves the way her cream drips out from you.
-Isn't that interested in calling you any specific pet names. She just settles for your original name or something simple like "baby" "babe" "Y/N".
-loves receiving dirty talk.
-Loves kissing you with tongue, Sex with Jihye is messy she loves it that way, what could I say🤭
-Marks you up. Has given you hickey in the shape of the 'J' which you probably realized the next day.
(ノ゚0゚)ノ~(ノ゚0゚)ノ~(ノ゚0゚)ノ~(ノ゚0゚)ノ~(ノ゚0゚)ノ~(ノ゚0゚)
PUNISHMENTS WITH G!P NOZE
-Noze doesn't really like punishing you, cus first she loves you so much to do so. Second she can't stand to see you cry.
-But there times where you've pushed her buttons a little too far.
-It was during a dance video recording with the other WayB members. It was your first time meeting the other girls and you guys clicked immediately. To say the least Noze was very happy that her girlfriend and team mates are bonding really well.
-You and Ansso were getting a little touchy and Jihye didn't like it, but still she kept quiet.
-It got to the point where Ansso had placed her hand your thighs, that's when Jihye lost it.
-You had been given the cold shoulder till the 2 of you reached home. Once back oh you were done.
-She just pushes you on the nearest surface and starts to heavily make out.
-"wtf were you thinking?"
"w-what do you mean?"
"All that with Ansso?! I'm not blind y/n!"
-She's gonna undress you without patients and just starts fingerings you hard.
"she even had her hand on your thigh, for so damn long!!"
-Once your wet and ready enough she's gonna stuff you up with her cock.
"This won't do, I have to teach you."
-Flipping you over, she just fucks you hard, her hand pushing your head all the way down as Jihye fucks you really hard.
-This time she's fucking you till your crying.
"take it, if it hurts you should have thought about it before letting Ansso do what she did."
"J-Jihye, p-please I- ahh shit~"
-Will add a few smacks to your ass.
-But if things get to painful, she knows you'll use your safe word.
-When your knees start to give out, she'll position you into missionary and continues.
-Will probably do this until your filled up with her cum or your too fucked until the only thing you can say is her name.
(>0<;)(>0<;)(>0<;)(>0<;)(>0<;)(>0<;)
ANY TYPE OF TOYS SHE WOULD USE?
-I don't think so, feel like she would just settle in using her hands and tongue.
-But if you want or request them, she'll definitely give you what you want. She's a giver after all.
(~‾▿‾)~(~‾▿‾)~(~‾▿‾)~(~‾▿‾)~(~‾▿‾)~(~‾▿‾)~(~‾▿‾)~(~‾▿)
AFTERCARE WITH NOZE
-Miss Noh Would turn into to the sweetest bean ever after sex.
-If it's giggly loving sex, she would pull out and just cuddle with you eventually falling asleep with you in her arms.
-Praises are a must.
"You did so good for me baby. My precious girl I love you so much."
-If it was a rough night, she would carry to the bathroom and clean you up an herself. Will get you some clean clothes to wear.
-Will feed you some snacks if you asked for.
-Then she'll lay you down on her chest stroking your back till your sound asleep.
♪(┌・。・)┌♪(┌・。・)┌♪(┌・。・)┌♪(┌・。・)┌
-THE END-
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sassy-stupid · 3 months
Text
Pairing: Halsin x f!reader
Angsty fluff
Word count: 1,3k
Content warnings: none as far as I'm aware, but feel free to correct me if I missed anything.
Summary: Halsin is going through it, and you're worried about him.
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Okay, so seeing the vid of all the companions as barbarians changed me. Not only do I now think Halsin would be perfect as barbarian in the 'nature's wrath' typa way, I also decided to make Gale a barbarian in my next playthrough. My boy had the most pathetic little shout, and i happen to think that's great.
Anyway, here's reader getting worried about sweet druid Halsin turning into raging barbarian Halsin. There will be a part two eventually. It will be smut. Sorry guys, but i can't keep the horny in check.
Also, this is rly more of a drabble than a fic, so I'm not naming it :)
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Ever since you'd been unable to save the grove, Halsin had been unable to change into an animal. This change hit the archdruid hard. Not only did this mean that Silvanus saw no chance of redemption in him, it meant the rest of his connection with nature was gone.
At least that's what he had convinced himself of. You were not so sure. You still saw the way nature seemed to respond to his presence, a spark of natural magic still present in the large elf. And yet, you also saw the rage, the new way of fighting he'd adapted to at least try to end the shadow curse alongside you.
The first time he fought by your side since the loss shook you to your core. It seemed for a second that the gentle giant had disappeared. The deep war cry that left him would have stunned you had you not also been fighting the claws of a shadow monster off.
It left an impression on you. You didn't necessarily dislike his new demeanor, but it did worry you. It simply didn't seem like him.
"Halsin!" You call out to the man as he stands next to lae'zel's tent, sharpening his newly acquired battle axe. "Come look!" You'd spotted the ducklings near the ruin in your camp before, but you'd never pointed them out to anyone before. Something about seeing Halsin with the axe made you want to take his attention off the blasted thing as soon as possible, though.
Your plan was working. He put down the axe, jogging to your side in a way that made your heart flutter. What can you say, the man was big in a way that was very attractive to you, and his normally gentle ways only endeared him to you more.
"And what is it I'm here to look at?" He asks, looking straight at you instead of looking around. The lack of his usual perception skills bothered you a bit, but at the same time, you didn't mind his attention being on you either.
"Look over there," you speak more quietly now that you're closer to the animals, not wanting to scare them off. You softly guide him closer to them when you notice he still hasn't spotted the ducklings. "Thought I saw them in the grass yesterday, but the mother finally had the courage to come out!"
The heat of his skin against yours is nice but you chastise yourself for focusing on that when your mission is distracting him, not yourself.
"Oh, younglings this late in the season? The mother has her work cut out for her if she is to keep all of them safe until adulthood." Halsin's voice seems to soften and you can almost physically feel the connection between him and nature. "Though maybe she should give up while she's ahead, protecting what is dear to you is sometimes...simply impossible."
The pain in his voice is clear to you, his eyes steeling. "There will always be new dangers to threaten it after all," Halsin speaks, a new edge entering his voice. "Always new ways to fail," anger. "Always injustice." Rage.
The increasing volume scares of the mother duck, sending the ducklings scattering across the lake. The seething man next to you seems to be too caught up in his anger to even realize. But you do, you realize maybe more than you should have.
A moments hesitation, maybe you shouldn't be getting this involved in Halsin's feelings and inner turmoil. After all you were part of the cause of it all, you'd failed to protect the Grove just as much as he had. What would you do if he turned this newfound rage to you?
You shake your head to clear your thoughts. This was no time to fear consequences to yourself. Halsin could use your help, so you have to try, even if that possibly leads to your favourite man in camp hating you.
"Halsin," you speak softly, almost like you're attempting to soothe him. "Look." The same words from before, spoken differently but accompanied with the same gentle guiding gesture.
It snaps him out of his inner spiral but the anger is clearly still there, barely even hidden beneath the surface. "I know nature has been rejecting you lately, that Silvanus has all but abandoned you." You subconsciously start stroking the man's back in an attempt to further soothe him as you try to make your point. "But this right now? It's you. You're scaring them off. I'm not sure if there's space in you for all this rage and the power of nature."
His eyes linger on your face for another while after the last words leave your lips before he diverts them back to the ducks. He doesn't speak, and for all your nerves, you're not as scared anymore. His posture became less tense and as he crouched down by the edge of the water, you see the old him again.
His hand reaches the water without disturbing it, and as the ducklings regroup near their mother, she swims up to him. You see the change in him the second she touches his hand. Like a world of weight fell off his shoulders, his burden still heavy, but bearable now.
A soft golden glow emanates from the water now, and before you can question anything, Halsin begins chuckling.
"By Silvanus, you were right! Nature never severed my ties, I was burning them with my own fury." he turns to you, still crouched by the ducks who've started nuzzling in his palm now. "You've returned an important piece of myself to me."
"I only pointed out some ducklings, Halsin. You did the rest." You send a wink his way before turning back to the rest of camp. "Oh! Does this mean I can give that sharpened axe to Karlach? She's been eyeing it," you ask, turning back to Halsin, barely noticing the blush creeping over his face. He merely nods in return, feeling his heart stir at the grin you give him.
You'd been right about the axe, Karlach's face when you handed it over to her could only be described with the same words one would use for an overjoyed child. She'd even vowed to you to keep the ribbon you'd put on the handle clean of blood so she could keep it on there.
Unbeknownst to you, as you were accepting the barbarian's expressions of gratitude, the druid that was admiring you form afar got cornered by the two other elves in camp.
"Say Halsin, if I didn't know any better, I'd almost say you're fawning over our dear little (y/n)." It was Astarion who spoke up first, but by her proximity, Halsin could tell Shadowheart had some words for him as well, most likely less sugar coated than Astarion's.
"She's not just our leader, Halsin," Shadowheart begins, "if you hurt her, we'll be forced to hurt you." The clear threat from the cleric was endearing to him. He liked knowing how much the others cared about you.
"Actually," Astarion continued. "I'm fairly certain if we really needed a druid on our travels, we wouldn't be too hard pressed to find one. Jaheira seems entertaining if nothing else." Astarion's thinly veiled threat was less endearing but the same thought process kept the smile on Halsin's face.
"Thank you both for stepping up like this. Though I assure you, I do not give my heart lightly, and I'm ready to offer her all of it." His eyes returned to you as he spoke, watching you fondly as Karlach lifted you into the air and swung you around.
"There is nothing in this world that could make me hurt her."
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atlasnessie · 10 months
Note
omg i wanted to request dazai, chuuya and maybe akutagawa or atsushi (you can switch some of the characters i just want to read smth like this with dazai :3)with a s/o who really loves to praise, pamper him and shit like this. Like they’re affectionate and offer him a safe space to completely be himself and talk about his problems (being a shoulder for him to cry on but also giving him space when he wants to etc etc) and he’s just “😦😧” bc he’s not used to having that comfort😭 (im probably projecting🔥)
anyways please take care of yourself and take your time <33
HII TYSM 4 THE REQUESTT !
ermm im still unsure on how to write 4 aku … sorry in advance 😿🙏❗️
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DAZAI
HELLOOO 😻😻😻 heart beating out of chest floats in the air with hearts around him spinning around doing 99 backflips and cartwheels
he absolutely loves you ! he isn’t one to talk abt his past or hell, even himself … but as you cradle him in your arms with soft praises, he can’t help it but melt right on the spot
he’s so used to people poking and prying into his personal matters, it honestly shocks him a bit when he realizes how sweet and affectionate you were
some days, he reminisces about the past and what it could be like if oda was still around, drinking his tears and sadness away
he would always notice how you’re around whenever he needed you the most, whispering sweet nothing to his ears and listening to what he has to say, even if he doesn’t have anything escaping from his lips
you understand how he needs his space, and once he doesn’t respond back to your actions, you simply place a kiss on his forehead and give him his space to think. (he’ll do something extra for you the next day ..!)
after a rough day, you would always have crab ready to serve for him, a huge tray resting on the table as you smile at him with dirty gloves. he doesn’t say anything and gives a soft smile, sitting down and eating as you feed him now and then
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CHUUYA
i feel as if he still feels inhuman, a bit insecure about it
he’s a tough guy, he can control his emotions, and yet, sometimes comes out as an outburst at inappropriate times
when you came into his life, he was honestly a bit shocked on how much you pampered him
like dazai, he isn’t one to open up so much about himself, but as you two continue to see each other, he really can’t help it
after a hard days work, you would be asleep on the bed, the clock reading a ungodly hour. he sneaks into the mattress as you turn your body and whisper a husky ‘morning.’
you can’t help it but ask him how his day was, and he’ll respond with a whisper. you smile at him talking and congratulate him on any minor thing he has done, brushing his hair out of his face
he gets upset easily and often rants to you. he doesn’t get teary eyed, but his face is always red with anger
you nod and agree with him, saying how he was right and the others were wrong (slightly boosting his ego ..)
whenever he’s really pissy after work, you can notice it. and quick. you drop everything your were doing and walk towards him with a solemn face, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving him alone (hes shocked and honestly great guy kn how thoughtful you were on noticing it so quickly. maybe it’s because he always has an angry face on ..?)
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AKUTAGAWA
hes a cold guy and honestly a hard read ..
getting into a relationship with him was hard, communicating with him is harder
after work, you would often praise him with a light smile as he looks at you weird
it’s not that he doesn’t appreciate it, he’s just not used to the kind words 😁🙏❗️
gotta b slow w him 😋
he appreciates the kind words and gestures, he just doesn’t know how to respond or act back to you
would prolly just nod or respond with a deadpanned ‘thanks’ and then walk off 💀
guys idk how to write 4 aku my b ….
gets used to it slowly, honestly doesn’t know how to react when you praise him or anything
knows you mean well, but he literally goes 😧 when you do smth like that 😿
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beepboopkek · 4 months
Text
— I will always come to your aid (AFAB!Reader)
AMAB!Reader has also been posted! including: Jing Yuan cw: !!NSFW!!, afab!reader, grammar and spelling errors possible, pwp but barely, hinted that reader has a s1ze k1nk, f1ng3r1ng, reader is a little sarcastic, still spreading my Jing Yuan is a Bastard (affectionate) agenda, masturbat1on, getting caught masturbat1ng, d1rty talk, cum eat1ng, no use of y/n, reader can be interpreted as the trailblazer but they are NOT stelle/caelus, safe sane and consensual w/c: 2k a/n: people liked strip starchess so much so here is another one of my brainrots... i dont usually like this troupe that much but i find myself excusing anything and everything for jing yuan so here we are. for my male reader likers i got u, its being posted right after this so you guys can enjoy too :3. also just remember that this is NOT stelle/caelus, its the you haha, i dont like shipping the raccoons with anyone as a personal pref so im just making that clear :3. anyways same warning as last time this is like my third time writing smut and also english isnty my first language. enjoy!!
The crisis on the Xianzhou Luofu was mostly over.
Which meant you had to leave the man you had fallen head over heels in love with.
Well— love may be an exaggeration but you weren't fucking around when it came to him.
Jing Yuan.
Your eyes had been hooked onto him the second you two met, his pleasant smile, his calm demeanor, his body—fuck, everything about him enamored you.
You could only wish that there was some other universe where he reciprocated your feelings.
You departed with a respectful nod of the head, despite wanting to smoosh your face between his pecs and cry about never getting to see them again.
The only hope that you did have though, was the jade abacus he had gifted you and your companions.
“No matter how astronomically distant you are, The Luofu Cloud Knights will always come to the aid of the Crew, whatever your need may be.”
Of course, his next sentence was to not use it for trivial matters when he saw March’s reaction, much to your amusement.
There was a discussion on who should keep the jade abacus, March being ruled out first much to her annoyance.
It landed between you and Dan Heng and given his history with the Xianzhou Luofu, he handed it to you.
That's how you ended up here, standing in front of your locked door with the abacus in your hand.
What if you grip it— You need to rinse your brain with cold water at this point…
You flopped onto bed, letting the exhaustion of the day seep into your bones as the plush blanket and pillows surrounded you.
You threw the abacus to your side, you'll take care of it later, not like you're gonna need it right now anyway.
Your mind flooded with images of Jing Yuan, his voice and everything you had been through together.
Fuck.
Your hand drifted towards your pussy, already feeling some wetness gathering at the thought of what you were about to do.
— Touch yourself to the thought of the General of the Cloud Knights on the Xianzhou Luofu, one of the most powerful beings to ever exist in history.
You shook your doubts away, he's just Jing Yuan to you.
You took off your shorts in record speed, tossing your panties along with it.
You never really touched yourself that often so you tried to imagine your hand being his instead.
You rubbed your clit, gasping at the cold touch of your fingers on the warm flesh.
How would he touch you?
He'd take his time, surely. He's not one to rush things— He'd work you open slowly for his cock—fuck, you're sure it's in proportion with how goddamn large his body is.
You moaned as you inserted two fingers inside you. You wanted to imagine Jing Yuan doing it, really, But, you also wanted an orgasm quickly so you can sleep. So, you just decided to go with imagining his voice talking to you.
You pistoned your fingers in and out, curling them at the spot only you could reach with your much smaller hands.
It was too intense, the thought of his deep voice guiding you through was enough to get your orgasm to graze along the edges of  your belly slowly, building up to be a strong one.
You grabbed the blanket next to you, gripping it tightly as you whispered Jing Yuan's name and continued thrusting your fingers inside you.
You swear the normal part of your brain recognised you gripping an object while gripping the blanket as well but you were genuinely too out of it to care in the slightest.
You're just about to orgasm when everything in your room rattles, as if there's an earthquake. 
Which should be impossible considering you are literally on a massive train that travels through space.
You let go of the blanket and sit up in shock, looking around to see what happened.
…With your fingers still inside you.
“Followers of the Nameless, I am here to assist you, tell me about the situ— Oh.”
You blinked.
Jing Yuan blinked.
Oh. Fuck.
You scrambled, ripping your fingers out and slapping your lower half with a pillow.
“J-Jing Yuan I-” 
You gulped, trying to calm your racing heart, you just got caught masturbating by your crush.
Life is going great.
Your cheeks and ears were beet red now, opening and closing your mouth as you tried to say something, anything to get you out of this situation.
Jing Yuan was just as surprised, if not astonished, by the scene that had unfolded in front of him.
He was finishing up some paperwork that Lady Fu had so kindly delivered to him in the Alchemy Commission when suddenly, the jade abacus he had clipped to his belt loop started vibrating.
Not one to panic, he quickly unhooked it and got it closer to his ear, so that he could hear what the Express were asking of.
What he didn't expect was to hear the voice of his crush, the one that he has acquired after decades of not entertaining any romantic relationships, whispering and calling out his name.
Okay, maybe now he should panic.
Without a second thought, Jing Yuan summoned his weapon and gripped the jade abacus back, signaling it to teleport him to your location.
Paperwork be damned he would rather lose a hundred years of his life if it mean you would be safe.
That landed him here, in front of a half-naked (and very surprised) you.
He dissolved his weapon into thin air and folded his arms against his chest.
“Well, this is a surprise.”
“Wow, you don't say.”
Jing Yuan raised an eyebrow at your tone.
“S-sorry, I don't know how you got here.”
An interesting turn of events.
“... Did you not call for me?”
“No, Why would I? Even if I did, how did you just…magically appear here?”
“Oh, dear.”
“What?”
“The jade abacus. I think you… I think you gripped it while you were…busy.”
He looked into your eyes and back down at the pillow that was barely covering your lower half.
“The jade aba—” 
You cut yourself off, turning to your side to where you had thrown it, only to find the wretched object to be in the center of your crumpled blanket.
“Fuck.” 
“Jing Yuan— I am so, so , so, sorry, I swear this was an honest mistake and I'll—”
Jing Yuan cut you off with the raise of his hand. “I forgive you.” “Really? Great let me j—”
“On one condition.” Of course there’s a catch. You sighed begrudgingly.
“What do you need help with?” “Quite the opposite, actually.” Your eyes widened but before you could let out your protests, Jing Yuan spoke up again. “You let me help you finish.” The gall of this man.You’re still going to take the chance that he doesn’t know what you were doing. “Finish what?”
You tried to sound innocent but your voice came out breathier than you wanted it to be. “Dont play coy now, you know exactly what I mean.” Your face burnt in embarrassment as you looked away. Jing Yuan dragged your desk chair and got it to the front of your bed before sitting down and making himself comfortable, propping one leg on the other and leaning back. “Go on, show me exactly what you were doing before I got here,hm?” “I can’t.” Jing Yuan paused, shit, had he misread the situation? Maybe he should—
“I can’t do it without you.” You had covered your red face at this point, way too embarrassed to look him in the eye while speaking. Jing Yuan just about lost it at that, abandoning all doubt and pouncing on you, grabbing your face to take you in a devouring kiss. He threw the pillow covering your bottom half in a random direction, quickly pecking you on the cheeks before pulling your hand over his. “Guide me.” You nodded shyly and pushed his hand towards your dripping pussy again. Fuck. His hands were just the way you imagined them. Warm and big, enough to hold your own two hands.
His hand (under your guidance and insistence) cupped your pussy and grinded the heel of his palm into your sensitive clit. “I’ve barely touched you, were you this wet while we were talking,hm? Did it turn you on to have me catch you in such an embarrassing state?” Jing Yuan whispered in your ear as he hovered over you and you thanked every aeon known for this opportunity because fuck, your imagination did not do any justice to how good the general was. Jing Yuan dipped the tip of his finger in your core, not entering but adding just enough stimulation for you to feel something there.
“Answer me.”
“No, I swear I didn’t, Jing Yuan, please—”
Jing Yuan smiled, he didn’t know you would be this easy to subdue.
He gently thrusted his finger inside, watching your face for any discomfort or resistance.
But, he was only met with your blissed out face, as you gasped in pleasure from his ministartions.
“Were you able to reach here?” He curled his finger upwards, hitting your sensitive spot just right.
You threw your hand over your mouth, pinching your mouth shut and praying, once again, to all the aeons you knew that the other passengers on the Express were dead asleep and couldn’t hear you. Granted, your room was the last in the carriage and had a decent amount of sound proofing but, you were still not risking it.
Your snapped out of your worries when Jing Yuan pushed in another finger alongside the one that was already in you.
“It looks like you’re getting distracted, maybe I’m not doing my job well enough?”
“N—Fuck, Its good, I’m sorry—Shit—”
Jing yuan simply kissed your head affectionately like he wasnt fingering you to hell and back right now and picked up the pace of his fingers.
Your hand was just gripping his wrist and you werent sure if it was to egg him to continue or get him to slow down and stop.
Maybe both.
Your head rolled back on the bed, exposing your bare neck to Jing Yuan as he immediately took the opportunity to cover your neck in kisses, Aeons be dammed. There's no way hes letting you walk out of this room unmarked and not carrying any proof of the evening you spent with him.
You gasped as your orgasm finally, finally overtook you. You shook in the general’s grasp as he continued thrusting his fingers in and out, drawing out the pleasure.
Taking his soaked fingers out, he popped them in his mouth, savouring the taste while you recovered from the intense bout of sensations you just went through.
You propped yourself up on your elbows again, looking at Jing Yuan owlishly as your head cleared from the horniness.
Jing Yuan only smiled at you before holding your head and kissing your forehead again before gathering you in his arms.
“Call me old fashioned or old but I do believe in the proper process of courting someone and,”
He looked into your eyes as he cupped your face in one palm and brushed the thumb along the seam of your chin.
“I think we skipped a few steps.”
“Yeah, no shit, general.”
He laughed at that, his chest shaking as the deep sound rumbled from his throat, you blushed again.
You were in the arms of the man you’ve wanted to kiss since you stepped foot on the Xianzhou ship.
You covered your burning face with your palms again as Jing Yuan’s laughter died down into little chuckles.
“We did all of that and youre getting shy now?”
“Shut up. You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this.”
“Wanted what? To get fingered by me?”
“No! — I mean that too, I guess, but I meant being held by you! Stop playing games, Jing Yuan.”
Jing Yuan only laughed as he took his free hand and grabbed your hands, turning them towards him one after the other and kissing the palm.
“I jest, I jest. But, I must stay here for the night. I’m afraid I cant travel back to the Xianzhou Luofu seeing as we aren’t closeby.”
You smiled.
Jing Yuan’s eyes twinkled in mischief right back at you.
“Be my guest.”
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