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triptuckers · 3 years

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Two Homes (part 5/7) - Nikolai Lantsov

Request: no Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader Summary: even though you were determined to leave the palace as soon as you could, you now find yourself waking up in a luxurious room of the palace months later Warnings: angst Word count: 4.7K..... yea A/N: for the sake of this series, nikolai never gave alina the lantsov emerald lol also this turned out longer than I planned it to be but do I regret it? maybe a bit not in the slightest, enjoy reading! :) (also I know I posted part 4 like yesterday but I want this one out there cause a lot happens & I want to post part 6 & 7 so bad) PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART TAG LIST (two homes and/or all grishaverse fics): @godsofwriting@im-constantly-fangirling @ayushmitadutta @mrs-brekker15@dancingwith-sunflowers @thegirlwiththeimpala @parker-natasha @story-scribbler @romanoffstarkovs @daliareads @meiitanoia @itsnotquimey (if your name is in bold it means I couldn't tag you) @sanktaesperanza @whymyparentscheckmyphone @aleksanderwh0r3 @ilovemarvelanne1 add yourself to my tag lists here

For someone who had dreaded going to Os Alta, you find yourself starting to actually like it. After pulling you aside, out of earshot of your father, Nikolai explained to you why he told your father he’d picked you as his bride.

When he told you it was to ensure he couldn’t control your life any longer, you got confused, asking him why he would do such thing. In response, he recalled the conversation you had at the gardens, when you told him your father had been controlling your entire life, and how people had made decisions for him his entire life as well.

Nikolai merely said he thought you deserved to make your own choices for once. Even if it meant living at the palace, far away from Ketterdam.

You had agreed to stay at the palace. You knew you couldn’t go back to Ketterdam now. The news of Nikolai picking you as his bride would probably travel faster than you’d like to.

While you did like Nikolai, and you enjoyed the little time you had spent with him, you made it clear you still didn’t want to marry him. That a part of still longed for Ketterdam.

Nikolai listened to you explaining your choices, and respected them. While both of you knew all eyes would be on you after announcing the engagement, you also knew you couldn’t push it back any further. Not after all the rumours.

He did agree to wait with picking an actual wedding date, giving you enough time to get used to your new life. You had told him you had no intention of marrying him, but over time you found yourself thinking more and more about it.

You’re amazed by the palace, and the life you live now. Every day, you walk around the palace, finding new routes and rooms. You start to think you might never see all of it in one lifetime. And you visit the gardens as well.

You keep the yellow flower Nikolai had given you next to the mirror in your room. But you’d never tell him that, he’d tease you endlessly about it.

As more weeks pass by, you spend more time with Nikolai, as well as his triumvirate. He’d invited you to few of their meetings, telling you if you ever did get married, you’d have to attend them as well. And the sooner you got used to it, the better.

At first, it felt a little weird. You walk around with Nikolai and everyone knows you as his future bride. While it feels odd, Nikolai’s presence is a comforting one. And the more you get to know him, the more you actually start to like him. Maybe staying at the palace wouldn’t be so bad as you thought it would be.

He spends a lot of time getting to know you. You have long conversations about your life in Ketterdam and his time in the army. About both of your dreams for the future, and what you want to achieve. But you also talk about small and simple things such as your favourite dish, or a book you love.

Most of the talks take place in the gardens or your room. You like getting to know the Nikolai beneath the mantle of king. You start to realise the two of you aren’t so different. If you had been born in a different city, you might have been childhood friends.

On a particularly sunny spring morning, the two of you walk around the gardens again. Nikolai doesn’t even have to offer his arm to you, you already place your hand on it. After some time, you’ve slipped into an easy morning routine, which sometimes includes a walk through the gardens.

‘How long until the Summers Week blooms again?’ you ask him as you walk past the familiar bush.

Nikolai glances at the same bush. ‘Probably a couple of months.’ he says. ‘Why do you ask?’

‘I think they’re beautiful.’ you as the two of you sit down on the same bench you sat on so many months ago, when you had escaped the ball. ‘It really is a shame they only bloom for such a short period of time.’

‘Do you still have that one flower I gave you when we met?’ asks Nikolai.

You glare at him. You just know he’d never let you forget it if he knew you kept it. ‘Yes.’ you say. ‘I wouldn’t throw it away.’

And indeed, a smug look appears on Nikolai’s face. ‘I’m delighted you didn’t throw it away.’ he says.

You playfully roll your eyes. ‘I expect a new one when they bloom again.’ you say.

‘I’ll make sure to give you one, sweetheart.’ he says with a smile.

You feel your cheeks heat up at the mention of the nickname. He’d called you nicknames on more than one occasion. You still weren’t used to it. Maybe it had to do something with the fact that Nikolai seems to always look good.

You look at the bush again, getting lost in your thoughts. Nikolai seems to notice. After a while of silence, he speaks up.

‘What’s on your mind?’ he asks you.

You wonder when get got so good at reading your face. ‘I’ve been thinking about, well, all of this.’ you say, gesturing to the gardens and the palace behind you.

Nikolai turns so he can properly look at you. ‘And?’ he says.

‘I have to admit, life at the grand palace isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. And it has been nice not to have my father following me around all day long. I still miss Ketterdam, but maybe not as much as I used to.’ you say.

You briefly look at Nikolai and notice a faint smile on his lips as he’s listening to you.

‘Plus, the company isn’t so bad.’ you say. ‘I know I made it clear I didn’t want this. But the time I've spent here has been very nice. Everyone is so kind, and I love the walks around the palace.’

‘What exactly are you saying, Y/N?’ says Nikolai, though the look on his face tells you he already knows.

You take a deep breath. ‘I’m saying I’m willing to do this. I think I could be happy here. I’m willing to marry you. Even it it’s just for the sake of Ravka. I’d rather marry you than some old merchant back in Kerch.’ you say.

Nikolai smiles. ‘That’s good to hear.’ he says. ‘Was it my dashing smile or charming personality that made you decide to stay?’

‘Don’t get cocky now, Nikolai.’ you chuckle.

‘Sweetheart, have you actually met me? I’ll always be cocky.’ he says.

You laugh and Nikolai reaches out to take one of your hands in his.

‘But on a more serious note, I really am glad you decided to stay. I didn’t lie when I said you’re nice company.’ he says. ‘And now I can finally give you this.’

He gets something out of his pocket and holds it in his closed fist.

‘Close your eyes.’ he says.

You slightly raise your eyebrows. ‘Really?’ you say.

‘Really.’ says Nikolai, smirking at you.

You do as he says and close your eyes. You feel how Nikolai lifts your hand and slides something on your finger. You feel the weight of it on your finger and can tell what it is before Nikolai tells you to open your eyes.

A ring with a beautiful green emerald sits on your finger. Your lips part in surprise. He doesn’t even have to say it, you know this ring.

‘This is the Lantsov emerald.’ you say as you look at him.

‘It’s really just an emerald like any others.’ says Nikolai, looking at your hand which is still in his. ‘But that is what most people call it, yes.’

You admire the ring on your finger. ‘It’s beautiful.’ you say. When you look up, you see Nikolai looking at you with an odd expression on his face.

‘What is it?’ you say.

He simply smiles at you and shakes his head. ‘Nothing.’ he says. He gets up and offers you his arm again. ‘Shall we go back to the palace? It’s almost lunch time.’

You nod and get up as well but instead of laying your hand on his arm, you grab his hand and intertwine your fingers with his instead. The two of you walk back to the palace, and you try to ignore the way people look at your left hand, clearly eyeing the emerald ring.

This would be yet another rumour that would spread impossibly fast. You had to write another letter to the Crow Club soon. You’d rather have your friends find out through you, than because of rumours.

You’d been writing letters to the Crows since you decided you stay at the palace. You told them about your life at the palace, and in return they told you what was going on in Ketterdam.

You loved receiving letters from them. They each took turns writing you, and all of them signed the letter.

Once you had lunch, Nikolai got called away to another meeting, and you went to your room to write a letter to Ketterdam. As usual, you started off by asking them how they were doing, if any jobs went wrong, and a new prediction on how many card games Jesper had lost.

You then wrote about finally accepting the fact you’d marry Nikolai. Despite the chances being low they could attend, you invited them to the wedding anyway. You told them you’d send them a formal invitation with the date as soon as you picked a date.

And then the chaos started. Genya insisted on being in charge of the planning, and she also sketched you a few designs for your wedding dress. They were all equally stunning, and you couldn’t pick one. Eventually, Nikolai picked the one he thought would suit you best.

Zoya was in charge of putting together the guest list. When she asked you who you wanted to invite, you gave her the names of the Crows. She seemed a bit taken aback you’d invite them because after all, they were criminals. You hadn’t yet told her you’d been part of the Crows for many years as well.

When you looked at the list she was writing, you noticed your father’s name on it as well. He’d sent you many letters, which you ignored. You took the pen from Zoya’s hand and crossed his name off the list without a word.

Time seemed to fly by at an alarmingly speed. Before you know it, you wake up on the morning of your wedding. Until this day, it seemed like a strange concept somehow. As if you couldn’t fully realise it.

But when your eyes land on your wedding dress, you feel like for the first time, the realisation of what’s about to happen finally sinks in. You would marry Nikolai. You would take his name and you would become a queen. Of a country that’s not even your own.

A knock on your door catches you off guard and you call for them to come in. Genya enters, followed by a few servants. She’s beaming at you, clearly excited about today.

‘Are you ready?’ she says.

‘More like the most nervous I’ve ever been.’ you say.

Genya smiles at you as she sits down on the bed next to you. ‘I understand you’re nervous.’ she says. ‘But I promise you it’ll be alright. We’ll all be here right beside you. And it’s just one day.’

‘One day of ceremonies and traditions and then I’m a queen.’ you say, having an uneasy feeling in your stomach.

‘Nikolai will be there by your side. And we will be there as well.’ says Genya. ‘Now let’s get you in that dress.’

She rises to her feet and motions for you to get up as well. You hesitate.

‘Could you, um, go and get Nikolai?’ you ask her, avoiding her eyes. ‘I want to talk to him.’

‘Of course.’ she says and she immediately leaves the room. You get up and start to pace the room, ignoring the servants who are patiently waiting for you. It doesn’t take long for Genya to return with Nikolai.

Nikolai smiles at you and asks the servants and Genya to leave the room, which they do.

By the looks of it, Genya caught him while he was getting dressed. His hair is still messy and his shirt is hastily tucked into his pants. He walks up to you, looking at you.

‘What can I do for you?’ he says.

‘I’m nervous.’ you say.

‘If it helps, I’m nervous too.’ he says.

‘But you always manage to hide it behind a curtain of flirty comments and confidence.’ you say. ‘I wish I could do that.’

‘Y/N, just because I always know what to say, doesn’t mean I don’t get nervous.’ says Nikolai.

He reaches out to take your hand in his and walks you back to your bed, where you sit down.

‘Listen, it’s completely normal to be nervous. It’s a big day. A lot of important people are going to be present. But I want you to be okay with this, so do you still want to do this?’ he says.

You look at him and frown. ‘Yes, of course!’ you say. ‘We’re not going to cancel this whole thing because I’m nervous. I just hope I won’t throw up because of the nerves.’

Nikolai chuckles. ‘I’m sure you’ll be fine.’ he says. ‘If it makes you feel better, we could practice.’

You frown again. ‘Practice what? I know how weddings work, Nikolai.’ you say.

‘It wasn’t the entire wedding I was talking about.’ says Nikolai.

You look at him, waiting for him to continue. He looks at your lips instead.

‘Oh.’ you say softly. That was what he meant.

Nikolai slowly inches closer to you, leaning in. His eyes switch from your lips to your eyes, silently asking permission. You give the barest of nods and Nikolai closes the remaining space between you, softly pressing his lips against yours.

You close your eyes and focus on the feeling of his lips on yours. All of the nerves seem to leave your body as you easy into him. When he pulls away, your faces are still close to each other.

‘Well if that’s what you call practicing, I wonder what the real thing is going to do to top that.’ you say.

Nikolai laughs at your words. ‘You’re getting better at your comebacks with every passing day, sweetheart.’ he says.

‘I learn from the best.’ you say, smiling at him.

‘Are you ready for this?’ says Nikolai.

‘I am now.’ you say with a hint of newfound confidence.

Nikolai nods and gets up. ‘I’ll call Genya back.’ he says.

You get up as well and walk with him to the door. Before opening it, Nikolai takes your hand in his and presses a kiss to your knuckles. With a wink, he opens the door and steps out into the hallway.

Once Genya and the servants enter, she immediately drags you over and pushes you into a chair to do your hair.

‘You don’t seem nervous anymore.’ she says.

‘I’m not.’ you say. ‘Nikola and I, uh, talked about it.’ you say, unable to stop your cheeks from turning red.

Genya smiles knowingly at you. ‘I’m sure it was a good talk then.’ she says, emphasising the word “talk”.

‘It was.’ you say, avoiding her eyes.

The smile never leaves Genya’s face as she finishes with doing your hair. The servants help you to get in the dress, and you finally look at yourself in the mirror. Genya had really outdone herself with the dress. It looks beautiful on you, as if it was meant to be.

You turn to look at her. ‘Thank you.’ you say. ‘Truly. It’s perfect.’

‘Don’t thank me. Nikolai is the one who picked the dress.’ she says. ‘Are you ready to go?’

You take a deep breath and nod. Genya links her arm through yours and you start walking toward the small chapel on the palace grounds. The guests had already arrived and were gathered inside. You can hear them talking and chatting excitedly even outside the chapel.

Genya hugs you tightly and disappears inside the chapel. After a few deep breaths to calm yourself again, you firmly plant your feet on the ground. No going back now.

The doors to the chapel open and you watch as the guests all rise. A last deep breath, and you start walking. Were there really this many people on the list Zoya had put together?

You start to feel nervous again, but then you see Nikolai looking at you. He’s smiling brightly, and looks very handsome. You remember the feeling of his lips on yours, and find your confidence once more.

You slowly walk down the aisle, smiling as well, and your eyes are fixed on Nikolai. When you finally make it to the front of the chapel, Nikolai smiles as you stop walking.

‘Still nervous?’ he whispers softly, so only you can hear it.

‘Not anymore, thanks to you.’ you whisper back.

You take a quick look at the crowd. You only recognise the people that lived at the palace as well. Thankfully, you don’t see your father in the crowd. But your heart sinks as you don’t spot your Crows either. They didn’t come.

You had invited them. Maybe they feared being captured if they risked coming to Os Alta? Whatever their reason was, you’re sure it was a good one. You’d send them a letter after the wedding, asking them if maybe an important job had come up. But still, it hurt a little they wouldn’t attend your wedding.

The wedding itself seems to last minutes. You’re only focused on Nikolai. He holds your hand and you’re grateful he does. It helps keep you grounded. You had expected the wedding to be grand because after all, it is a royal one. But once you leave the chapel, hand in hand with Nikolai, you realise it turned out to be even better than you expected.

The two of you are silent as you walk through the halls of the palace. You see the door to your room in the distance, but Nikolai walks right past it. When you raise your eyebrows in question at him, he points at the door to his room in the distance.

‘They’d expect us to share a room. It’d be a bit weird if we got married but sleep in separate rooms.’ he says. ‘Don’t worry, the bed is large enough to fit both of us without having to cuddle close. Not that I would mind if you did.’

You chuckle at his words as he opens the door to his room. You’re thankful to be away from all the guests. You appreciated that they all came to attend the wedding, but you got tired of listening to their congratulations over and over again.

Once the door closes behind you, you immediately bend down to take off your heels. You watch as Nikolai shrugs off his suit jacket and runs a hand through his hair.

‘That wasn’t so bad, was it?’ he says.

‘It wasn’t bad at all.’ you say.

Nikolai studies your face. ‘But there’s something on your mind.’ he says.

‘I just...’ your voice trails off as you try to find the best way to voice your thoughts. Nikolai takes your hand and pulls you down to sit on the bed with him.

‘I thought they would come.’ you say softly. ‘I invited them, and I know I haven’t seen them in a while, but I thought they’d at least come to my wedding. I spent years with them.’

‘Maybe something else got in the way? Maybe something came up and they simply couldn’t make it?’ suggest Nikolai.

You shake your head. ‘Even if Kaz would plan a job, Jesper and Nina would burn down all of Ketterdam if a job prevented them from attending my wedding.’ you say. ‘I can’t think of a single reason why they wouldn’t come. I thought I meant more to them.’

‘What if you write them another letter? I’m sure if you just ask them, they’ll explain why they couldn’t be there.’ says Nikolai.

‘I was going to write them about it anyway.’ you say. ‘But first I want to change. As beautiful as this dress is, it’s incredibly heavy.’

‘I had a servant move some of your belongings here already.’ says Nikolai. ‘A part of the closet is now yours.’

‘Thank you.’ you say and you walk over to the closet, opening it. You pick one of your comfortable dresses and go to the bathroom to change. When you get back, you see Nikolai hasn’t changed yet. You didn't mind. He really looked good in a formal suit.

You move to sit behind Nikolai’s desk to write a letter to Ketterdam. You try to sound polite, but a part of you wants to just write what you’re actually thinking. But the Crows mean the world to you, and you don’t want to hurt them or piss them off.

Once you finish the letter, you seal it and hand it to a servant, telling them it’s urgent.

When you get back to the room, you find Nikolai sitting at his desk, fidgeting with something in his hands. Curiously, you walk over to him.

‘What are you doing?’ you say.

Nikolai looks up and holds out his hand to you. On his palm is a small boat, made out of a piece of rope. You carefully take it from his hand to examine it.

‘How did you learn how to make this?’ you as him.

He shrugs. ‘A lot of practicing.’ he says.

You smile and hand the little boat back to him. ‘It’s nice.’ you say. ‘Could you teach me how to make one?’

Nikolai nods and pulls out a second chair for you. He spends the rest of the evening trying to teach you how to make a boat out of a piece of rope. While his fingers move smoothly and create the boats with ease, you struggle with it. After all, he had probably done it for many years, whereas you’re only trying it out for the first time.

When you successfully finish your first boat, you decide to call it a night and go to sleep. Nikolai hadn’t been lying; the bed was big enough to fit the both of you comfortably without invading each other’s personal space.

Your usual routines don’t change much. Except for the fact you know share a room and a bed. And you notice there are more lingering glances between the two of you.

Like Nikolai had said, you’re expected to attend important meetings as well. You try to listen to it, but sometimes the meetings just aren’t interesting in your eyes. Luckily you always sit next to Nikolai, who is able to nudge your leg with his boot if he thinks you’re starting to zone out.

You have breakfast together every morning, expect for the mornings when Nikolai isn’t at the palace. You practice making boats out of rope, and you’re improving. Nikolai’s still turn out better than yours, but you’re getting there.

Every day, you ask if there’s mail for you. But somehow the Crows don’t send letters as frequently as they used to. And they had never given you a proper explanation as to why they didn’t attend your wedding.

Most of the times when you’re lost in thought, you’re thinking about Ketterdam. You hadn’t been there in months, not since the ball. It’s as if the longer you stay at the palace, the more you miss Ketterdam.

The city had always felt like home. And no matter how much you like spending time at the palace with Nikolai, you can’t help but to feel guilty for being away from Ketterdam for so long. You miss the city, and you miss your Crows.

Nikolai must have noticed something is bothering you, but you dodge his questions. You try to come up with excuses, but eventually, he pulls you aside and stands in front of the door, preventing you from slipping away.

‘Out with it.’ he says. ‘What is going on?’

You look at him, not sure what to say.

‘Is it our marriage? Do you regret it? Is that why you’re avoiding talking with me?’ says Nikolai.

‘Of course not!’ you quickly say. ‘Nikolai, I do not regret our marriage. I happen like you a lot.’

‘Then what is it?’ says Nikolai. ‘You’re not yourself and I can tell something is bothering you. Let me help you.’

‘I don’t know where to start.’ you say softly, lowering your head and looking at your feet. It all seemed so childish now.

‘I miss Ketterdam.’ you say softly. You feel tears burning behind your eyes. ‘I miss the harbour, and the tourists flooding the docks. I miss playing card games with Jesper, and going out with Nina. I miss talking with Inej and going over Kaz’ plans with him. I even miss reading to Wylan and trying to win a drinking contest from Matthias. I miss the Crow Club, and their laughter. I miss all of it.’

You see how Nikolai’s feet step closer to you and his hands cup your face, tilting it upward so you look at him. He brushes a tear away with his thumb.

‘It’s alright to miss Ketterdam.’ he says. ‘You left everything behind, I understand it if you miss it. It’s been your home for so long.’

‘But this is my home now.’ you say, your voice trembling slightly. ‘Here in Os Alta, with you. I shouldn’t long to go back to Ketterdam as much as I do.’

Nikolai smiles at you, but there’s a hint of sadness in his eyes. ‘I told you a long time ago I won’t let anyone else control the choices you make in life, sweetheart. If you want to go to Ketterdam, I think you should go.’ he says.

You stare up at him, letting his words sink in. ‘But I’m your wife. You’d let me go just like that?’ you say.

‘You are indeed my wife. But I’m not going to tell you how to live your life. If you think you’re happier in Ketterdam than you are at the palace, then you should go. Go and be happy.’ he says.

‘But I'm happy with you too.’ you say. ‘I just miss my home, that’s all.’

He smiles again. ‘Then you should go home. This is not goodbye forever, you know.’ he says.

‘Not goodbye forever.’ you say, repeating his words.

You stand on your toes and lean up to kiss him. Nikolai pulls you closer and you wrap your arms around his waist in response. When you pull back, he rests his forehead against yours.

‘Go.’ he says softly. ‘Go to your Ketterdam, go to your Crows. I’m sure they’d love to see you again.’

You nod and pull yourself out of his embrace. Nikolai watches you as you quickly pack a bag with some essentials. You can’t bear to look at him again as you walk past him, out of the room.

You didn’t know Nikolai followed you from a distance, to see you off. As soon as you got on a horse and left the gates, he stands at the top of the stairs that lead to the entrance of the palace.

He watches you as you become a smaller and smaller dot on the horizon. The triumvirate, who had seen the two of you leave, joins him on the steps, wondering what Nikolai is looking at.

‘Was that Y/N? says Zoya. ‘Where is she going?’

‘Back to Ketterdam.’ says Nikolai.

Zoya turns to Nikolai. ‘You let her go?’ she says. ‘Saints, Nikolai, why did you let her go?’

Nikolai doesn’t say anything and continues to look at the horizon. Genya is studying Nikolai’s face as he looks at you in the distance. Her lips part in surprise, but her eyes are sad.

‘Because he loves her.’ says Genya.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit

#HA 😌#me writing this & knowing what's gonna happen: hehe #nikolai lantsov #shadow and bone #grishaverse #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov fanfiction #nikolai lantsov fanfic #nikolai lantsov fanfics #nikolai lantsov fic #nikolai lantsov fics #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone fanfics #shadow and bone fic #shadow and bone fics #two homes series

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justice4harwin · 3 years

Text

Light’s Corruption-Chapter VII

Summary: With few friends at the Little Palace, Alina must work to win the favour of her fellow grisha and their commander, who makes her feel light headed every time she sees him.

After training in Os Alta for two years, the king grows tired of waiting and demands the Sun Summoner joins a western post near the Fjerdan border along with the rest of The Second Army to test her abilities.

Something happens. Suddenly, Alina wants blood to run down the rivers and those who stand in her and The Darkling’s way will be blinded by her light and swallowed by his shadows.

It won’t be pretty.

Pairing: The DarklingxAlina

Rating: 18+ (better safe than sorry, u know)

Anyone fancy a playlist?

As usual, the tags are in the comments; if you no longer want to be in the list or wanna be added, please don’t hesitate to let me know :)

Click here for chapter VI

Chapter 7: Within the Palace's Walls

Dear General Kirigan,

Dear General

Dear Kirigan

Dear Darkling

"Ugh!" Alina let her face drop on top of the paper, not caring if the ink got into her face, and groaned, loudly and at length. "Why?!" She asked into the nothingness of her room.

She had no reason to write to him. She knew he must've had frequent reports of the ongoings of the Little Palace, so she had no other excuse except to admit the truth, which was that she craved his attention, even if he was days away.

This was so pathetic of her; letting go of a life-long unrequited love just to fall into the arms of the first man who complimented her, even if she did feel a strange pull towards him.

What she needed was time for herself. Yes. She had finally said goodbye to Mal, falling for someone else so quickly would do her no good.

Oh, but Saints! The way in which he had kissed her, like he'd been waiting for centuries, like she was a treasure, like he truly wanted her. She had kissed people before, but never like that. She had enjoyed it, sure, but always stopped it before the clothes started to disappear. It usually bored people, but Alina didn't mind that much. It wasn't like when Genya was in the room while she bathed, helping her get to whenever she needed to be in time by pulling at the knots in her hair and handing her a towel. Genya was trustworthy, she was her friend and she had never given her one of those looks that had made her uncomfortable during her training at Poliznaya, nor made an unwanted comment or advance on her figure.

But The Darkling… That day, she had felt more than willing to let him have his way with her; nobody had set her body aflame the way The Darkling had done that afternoon a few weeks prior; she dreamt of it at night and woke up sweaty and hot, and it was a real effort to not daydream about it during her day.

General Imbecile Brute,

I write to you on this day to let you know of the first snow at the Little Palace. It makes quite the pretty paint...from the inside.

Also, I cannot stop thinking about you and your kiss, and I've been staring at the rose you gave me for such long amounts of time I fear my eyes will cross and I'll be stuck like that forever.

Please, tell me: do you feel the same? Mark 'yes' or 'no'.

Forever at your service,

Alina Starkov, Sun Summoner, Idiot.

Ps: You're not an imbecile, only a little rude; and you're not a brute, but some of your manners need polishing. Other than that, you're perfect.

Signed again,

Alina Starkov, she who lacks decency.

She looked at the letter, a low, prolonged, pitiful sound parting from her lips that turned into an animalistic groan. She grabbed the piece of paper, scrunched it into a small ball and threw it into her fireplace.

The snow covered the grounds of the Little Palace almost entirely, the lake would soon be completely frozen, and finalize the beautiful picture. Some Grisha were excited over the opportunity to skate. Alina had never done it, but Marie and Nadia promised to teach her.

From her horse, Alina moved uneasily. She still wasn't used to horse-riding, but Nina had invited her along with a few of her friends, who were all of different orders. It was a chance she wouldn't miss.

She tugged her kefta closer and held onto the reigns, advancing slowly along with the group, heading to the edges of the woods that surrounded the place.

A Fabrikator passed her a flask of kvas, and despite her dislike for the strong drink, Alina took it anyways and tried not to grimace as the liquid went down her throat.

If she were honest, she'd rather be inside the warm walls of her room in the Little Palace, chattering the afternoon away with Genya. She hadn't need to ask if the Tailor could join them at the stables; Alina was well aware of how little regard the other Grisha had for her -until they needed something-.

"I heard a few of you have been working on new keftas." she tried to make light conversation with the woman as she handed her her kvas back.

"Yes." she answered politely, "We're making a special fabric that should give us more freedom of movement during battle."

Alina rose her eyebrows. It wouldn't help her much if she didn't improve her fighting skills, but it was an interesting idea.

"How's it coming along?"

The woman tried to hide a grimace.

"It's complicated, but we're making some progress."

Alina smiled.

"Maybe you can tell me more about it during dinner." she suggested. "I, for once, would love a different type of trousers."

The woman smiled starkly, her blond hair getting on her face.

"They are rather stiff, aren't they?"

"I can barely flex my legs as it is."

The woman, whose name was Lada Alina remembered, agreed.

"I know. They're not suitable." she said in a strange tone, to which Alina gave her an odd, sideways look.

"Did you hear Zoya is back?" Fedyor interrupted, marching up to keep up with them.

Alina stared at him, groaned, and rolled her eyes.

"That's great." she said dryly.

Her absence was nice while it lasted.

"Maybe if I get under her skin and she attacks again, The General will send her off for a longer time. Or better yet, I could actually beat her."

Who was she kidding? Zoya was a formidable fighter, and Alina was just starting to win every now and then. Also, she suspected that Nina might have gone easy on her during their first sparring match a few weeks prior. She hadn't won against her ever since.

"Tell me about it." the woman in question said, rolling her eyes. "I don't understand her obsession with being on The General's inner circle."

"Says the one who is in the inner circle." Fedyor pointed out.

"Barely." Nina made a gesture with her hand, as if trying to rest importance to the matter. "Besides, it's not such a big deal. I don't know why everyone makes such a fuss about it."

"Well, the higher we are, the better we can protect other Grisha." Alina said, almost hesitantly. "I mean, if we have The General's ear, more ideas will flow about. I'm sure everyone has something to contribute to the cause."

"You don't need to worry about that, sun bean;" Nina smirked. "You're the Sun Summoner, it's likely he'll listen to you."

Alina's cheeks flushed as everyone in the group turned to stare at her.

"I think it's good to aim high;" Fedyor said, drifting the attention to himself, thanks the Saints. "As long as it's for the better of the Second Army."

Nina looked away and uttered something only Alina heard.

"Oh, yeah, betterment of forced servitude."

The Summoner stiffened on her saddle at the bitter words. Was Nina unhappy at the Little Palace? Why? She was one of the most powerful Grisha there; she lived in the most secured place in all Ravka, and her General held her in high regard.

A part of Alina wished she had never hidden her light. Maybe it would've been for the better to leave Keramzin, to leave Mal behind sooner.

It also made her think of someone who scarcely passed through her mind those days: her own mother.

She shook her head, ridding herself of such thoughts. She was thankful for the commodities and safe life she had at the Little Palace. Even if she was one of a kind, everyone else seemed to be adapting well to her, especially since she began to summon on her own and join in their little games by the lake.

She had been hesitant about it at first, but Genya insisted that going would be a great opportunity to both show her power and make allies.

"Besides, they won't believe you're a snob or a fraud if you show them a little." she had said, lazily lounging on a chair as they shared a nice tea one afternoon, while the queen took an especially long nap the very same day the Duke of Balakirev had arrived at court.

Lately, Alina felt more normal, and she was sure that her latest choices had a lot to do with it. From showcasing her powers, to sitting in different sections on different tables during meals and just talking normally about trivial things -even if those did exhaust her mind- and wearing an Etherealki kefta, she was more approachable, and the other Grisha seemed to slowly start to notice it too.

"It's not enough."

"We surely do deserve some more credit." she spoke, even if she didn't fully believe in the sentiment. The First Army was full of otkazat'sya, and they didn't have the advantages of bullet-proof clothing, private tents, furs for the winter and three decent meals per day.

It was all so difficult for Alina. She had once envied the advantages The Second Army possessed over The First, yet she couldn't deny there were other kinds of dangers for the Grisha, that not everything was perfect inside the walls of Os Alta.

Like the distrust of those who weren't like them, their fear, tamed only by their usefulness due only to the Black Heretic's greed.

All around her, her fellow Grisha nodded their agreements.

She wondered, briefly, what would Grisha life be like in Ravka if The Fold hadn't been created in the first place. What would happen if she ever managed to tear it down?

She didn't want to dwindle in those thoughts further.

With the Winter Fete approaching, everyone at the Little and Grand Palace seemed to buzz with all kinds of different energy. The servants were comprehensively nervous and stressed as they ran from one place to the other. Alina's fellow Grisha were either excited or indifferent, but none the less they all put the same amount of effort into practicing their yearly demonstration.

As for Alina herself, she had received the news that she was expected to showcase her power in front of the royal family and the other nobles of Ravka.

"The king wanted to throw a bigger party; invite diplomats from all continents and such, but General Kirigan insisted that it wasn't necessary yet." Genya said one afternoon, as Alina braided her hair.

She was seated very still, her eyes continuously darting from one side to the other as if trying to peek at her friend's work, concern etched on her face.

"He seems impatient." Alina commented, to which Genya huffed, accommodating her friend's new possessions on her vanity with a precision that seemed borderline obsessive.

"You have no idea. He can't wait to see the mighty Sun Summoner." she said, pouting and trying to imitate his deeper voice.

Alina frowned, said nothing, and continued braiding, her movements slowing but almost precise.

The Darkling

Miss Starkov,

Due to my sudden absence, I had no time to notify you that I shall oversee your training personally from now on.

Being far away, I do not wish for you to stall, so I leave you some instructions on what to practice and how, and a few reading recommendations fo-

He leaned back in his chair and sighed.

He was being a fool, and he hated it.

Writing to her with instructions on how to practice her summoning was a foolish idea. She was barely starting and needed overseeing, and the only one besides himself who could help her was his mother, who remained bitter at the woman. He really wanted to know what Alina had said to Baghra to make her so upset.

He almost smiled, feeling something wickedly, childishly happy in his chest at the possibilities.

Tossing the letter into the fire, he leaned back in his chair.

Teaching her through letters would only lead to disaster, but how else would he know about her? How else could he earn her trust while being so far away?

Pathetic.

"Moi Soverennyi." Ivan presented himself, bowing before further entering his tent. He offered him an envelope. "A letter from the Grand Palace."

The Darkling took it and quickly read it, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. Although he had convinced the king that inviting foreign diplomats was not yet a good idea, the stupid man insisted that the Sun Summoner performed alongside the other Grisha. Alina was finally able to summon on her own, but he knew a part of her still feared her gift; putting on a show for an audience was not the best idea.

He…worried? for her?

"We will have to be back in time for the Winter Fete."

Ivan grunted. "I hate that thing."

The Darkling nodded in agreement. After all those centuries, he was more than bored of them. It was always the same waste of time and resources for his army, only to entertain the nobles for a few hours. As if they would not go back to turning their back on them the very next day.

Those fools often seemed to forget that his Grisha could have them for lunch if they so wanted it.

Privileged as The Second Army may seem, people were wary of them, even the nobles who lived in the surrounding areas.

"But they will not attempt anything so long as they need us."

"We have little choice, Ivan."

"We could always host it near The Fold and accidently push the royal family inside it." he said, sardonic as usual.

"Tempting." The Darkling smirked, setting the letter aside with little care.

The Heartrender stepped aside to allow him out, and The Darkling marched towards the river, where a few of his fabrikators were working on a new skiff. It wasn't nearly as grand as the one Alina had boarded that fateful day, but that was due to a different purpose.

There was a strange device being placed underneath it.

"Are you sure this will work?" he asked Petya.

The woman hesitated for the briefest moment, and The Darkling reminded himself internally to summon new graves for his Grisha.

"Such a pity." he thought, sincerely.

"Yes. So long as the Squaller sets a slow pace and nobody exerts themselves too much, they should be able to pass in relative tranquillity."

He had a feeling it would not work. His Grisha had already tried several times to cross through the river, but David Kostyk was sure his new invention would cancel out the soft sounds of the skiff against the water and dwindle the sounds of a heartbeat.

"Do not expect the path to be clear." he said.

"That is exactly why we're going, sir." a Squaller, Igor, approached and bowed. "If this works and we can clear the path, we should be able to make it to the other side eventually."

"Let us hope it does not take too many tries." he said.

Too many Grisha lives, he had wanted to say.

"David is rarely wrong, Moi Soverennyi." Petya said.

That was true. David was one of his best Grisha, which was why The Darkling tried to keep him inside the safety of the Little Palace's walls unless absolutely necessary.

Still, The Darkling though the plan stupid and a waste; but it was either that or forcing Alina into The Fold, and she was far from being ready to make a crossing, even through its thinnest point up north.

As a Squaller, a Heartrender, two Healers and two Inferni boarded the skiff, followed by a few strong otkazat'sya men from the First Army, The Darkling thought of David.

He thought of Alina.

And his thoughts returned to David.

With a sharp nod, he sent off the small team to do their last test and headed back to his tent, where he began to write a letter addressed to Mr. Kostyk.

Click here for chapter 8

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone fanfic #alina starkov #aleksander morozova #darklina #darklina fic #alina x darkling #alina x aleksander #genya safin #nina zenik #fedyor kaminsky #david kostyk

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battlemaiden13 · 3 years

Note

Sup, I recently saw your blog and I got hooked, so I figured I might as well submit a request for a headcanon to see if ‘ya would write it out. Also, sorry for the bad language, I have a sailors mouth I know. (Also some of this is kinda dark so if you wanna modify it a bit I completely understand, I’m just trying to incorporate a little bit of my crappy childhood in here lol)

Could you possibly do something with the Older & Younger brothers (If you want you can just do either or) reacting to learning about their Hella Protective Male S/O’s rules involving meeting his Innocent Younger Sister? like, “Don’t drink around my sister”, “Don’t cuss around my sister”, “If you make her cry, I will make 𝘆𝗼𝘂 cry”, “If you make her feel self conscious about her scars, I 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿”, and “If you even try to do ANY nasty shit I will be dusting you on the spot, lover or not” (I think it would be fucking hilarious to see how the Older brothers react to being on 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 side of the threat lol)

(His Younger Sister is like 9)

For Some Backround: M!S/O had a pretty traumatic and god-awful childhood, and had to get involved in some pretty dark shit to survive and keep his Younger sister healthy and happy. (Resulting in him having a high LV if you want to being that up that aswell) M!S/O had some very shitty parents that would abuse him and his sister very badly, and that would occasionally target his younger sister when he was away trying to pay the bills or trying to keep his younger sibling fed and in school. Due to this, his Younger Sister sometimes faced their parents wrath alone and gained some brutal scars across her face that some kids at her school teased her for, making M!S/O be super protective of her.

If you wanted to do a part two it could be about the brothers actual reactions to meeting M!S/Os younger sibling.

With that being said, if you do end up writing this you have my best regards, -🗡Anon

13: since this is a longer ask I only did 4 skeletons. If I missed your favourite or you're curious about one of the others' reactions let me know and I’ll answer for them too. For now I hope you enjoy the ones I did answer for.

Sans The threats -He’s really just offending that you think he would do any of those things but he understands being protective of a sibling so he doesn’t hold it against you too much. Even the dusting threat he takes with a grain of salt and really just takes it as an indication to how serious this matter is to you so he is also going to take it very seriously.

Meeting the sister -He’s great with your sister. He never mentions the scars and your sister seems to really like him. He’s good with kids, talking or getting her to talk excitedly about her interests and even manages to make her laugh, like a lot. The day is a huge success. Even when you think something is going to get to your sister Sans easily manages to distract or smoothly changes the subject so there are no incidents.

Edge The threats -Makes the comment that he’s not his brother and that you are going overboard. He’s offended that you think he’ll be anything less than perfect and honestly does think you are going a bit overboard here but just nods and agrees to whatever you say to calm you down.

Meeting the sister -it could have gone better. Edge is obviously trying for your sake but he’s not the best with new people. Because of this the topic of scars does come up and you are fuming until Edge says something that makes all the anger disappear. It’s no secret that he has a large gash across his eye socket and your sister brings it up as Edge just seems so confident, your sister might not understand why. Edge goes on to explain how important and amazing scars are. They show that you are a fighter and a survivor. You’ve stood up for something and although it hurt in the past now you should be proud of what you achieved. He tells your sister how he got his scar and although tells her she doesn’t need to tell him about hers that he should be proud because she is strong and he can see that. Edge mentions when you leave that You might want to consider introducing your sister to more monsters from this underground as they all would help your sister with self love of her scars and if that can make her feel just a little bit better than it would be worth it.

Blue The threats -Is a bit taken aback by the threats but he assures you he won’t do anything to make your sister uncomfortable. Actually he sort of appreciates the heads up about your sister so now he knows what not to mention, not that he would have anyway but it’s nice to know that it is a bit of a sore spot.

Meeting the sister -He was so excited to meet her that he had planned a huge day full of fun activities the three of you can do together. It’s an action packed day with a bunch of adventures packed in such as the movies, laser tag, an escape room, bowling and more. The day is complete with homemade desserts made by Blue himself. He just wanted everyone to have a good time and maybe take your sisters mind off of everything while you did. It seems to work and mixed with Blue’s child-like personality, him and your sister get on great and both of them even beg you for a sleepover so the fun can continue into the next day.

Syrup The threats -He just sort of accepts them. He knows what it’s like to be overprotective and he doesn’t want you to hate him or anything although he does find it amusing that you think you could dust him so easily. He assures you that he isn’t going to do anything to upset your sister and he honestly means that. If something is important to you then it is important to him too.

Meeting the sister -Syrups holds up his end for the whole day. HE doesn’t make your sister feel subconscious, some random on the street does force you all to leave early. Syrup can tell how upset you are over the events of the day, you just wanted to make your sister happy, so he does the one thing he can think of, he takes off his shirt. He shows your sister the mirad of scars he has littering his bones and even shows her a picture of Berry proudly smiling and showing off the slashes in his skull. Syrup tells your sister about how he would struggle with his own scars and how his cool older brother made him feel better about them. Syrup talks about Berry for ages, it’s the most he’s talked all day but by the end of it your sister does feel slightly better about herself and might want to meet the other skeleton. Syrup is just happy that you seem ok now and has to go on the hunt to hurt the idiot kid that made you upset. Maybe a scar of their own so they don’t point at random kids and laugh on the street.

#undertale #undertale papyrus #undertale sans #undertale imagines #underfell #Underfell Papyrus #underfell sans #underSwap #underswap sans #underswap papyrus #swapfell #swapfell sans #swapfell papyrus

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todomochi-uwu · 4 years

Text

Babygirl. (8/?) Different.

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x reader

Warning: Angst, Age Difference

Author’s Note: Consensual engage at all moments.

Tags: @afuckingunicornn @ikebukuro-ghoul@dulcetailurophile@your-pri-ncess @huh-iwasntpayingattention@samkysnks @trashymusse @kaylaphantomhive @lrdexplodokills@vintage-teddyxo @baguettes-stuff @7teenlyfe @trashybebe@rise-from-the-ahes-the-phoenix96 @blakebearsblog @rawr-for-all-bitches @bubera974 @richkookie @aurorahoneybuns @semicielo@bva14 @bnhaismylife @justarandombnhafan @thatcreepycat@minloey @spooky-madison @cookednoodlez @bitchtrynafck@lvsersclubb @wassupducks @saucysuazo @idiotgothxoxo @babyteethyummy @astrcls @whisperingwolfie @kae-os

Would it be worth a try?

Trembles ran down your spine, cold sweat on your forehead and you kept checking everything was alright.

The number one hero was coming to your house in about 15 minutes and you felt like having a heart attack; not sure what would happen.

Yes, Izuku was one of the most attractive people you've ever encountered, but he wasn't him.

Yes, he was such a sweetheart, but then again, you weren't in high school anymore, holding hands and blushing at sweet is simply not a turn on.

You checked yourself in the mirror once again, straightening your skirt and applying gloss one more time.

DING!

The sound the doorbell startled you enough to get you out of your thoughts.

"Hey, Izu!" You greeted him at the door, stepping aside to let him in.

"Hello, love." He kissed you on the cheek, before making his way in "I brought a bottle of wine, hope you aren't working tomorrow because tonight I plan passing out drunk, preferably on a comfy surface but if it´s next to you I guess the floor is okay." That comment made you giggle, but it also intensifies the anxiety.

"Sure, Izuku. Let's just have dinner first, okay?"

Time passed, after dinner, you decided to just watch a movie while drinking wine and just have small talk. You were laying on the couch, your head resting on Izuku´s lap while his fingers ran across your hair, massaging your scalp. You felt at ease, you couldn't deny it, the last few months had been rough, the heartache wasn't a pretty thing, and while writing did help, you couldn't push Katsuki out of your mind.

"Hey I have a question, I thought you and Todoroki were a thing after all those headlines and magazine covers where you appeared coming out of different clubs and bars the world was waiting for that ship to sail, also Katsuki told me you guys were a thing."

He snorted, "Kacchan told you that? Well, I'm not going to lie, there was more than a few times where things happened between me and Todoroko, but nothing serious." He took a big gulp out of the wine glass, tinting his lips a dark tone of red before continuing "Back when we were in UA while everyone was busy wondering if Uraraka and Bakugou were going to be a thing, I had little escapades of my own with icy-hot." He giggled, "Besides, it's no news that I'm not straight."

"Wait, are you serious? How come I didn't know that?"

"You must be oblivious if you didn't see me checking out Shinsou's ass in his new costume every time he came into the room while we were working." He giggled while scratching the back of his neck.

"Oh my god! I thought you guys just joked around like that, I'm such an idiot." You covered your face in shame while laughing, "So Midoriya Izuku, the number one hero, is also our number one gay hero."

"Well, yeah, I don't consider myself gay, but sure number one queer hero."

"I am sorry for not noticing it earlier if you don't know, I'm not good at taking a hint." This time you frowned, sorrow swallowing your heart and drowning you, once again, in a void.

"Why do you say that now?"

"Because I couldn't take a hint in the six months Katsuki and I were together that he wasn't over his ex-wife, don't know what I was thinking I could be with him, he has a family."

"Hey, hey, do not say that, if anything he's the one to blame. And while Uraraka is one of my best friends she can be quite obsessive when she wants something." You rolled your eyes at the comment, ha! If you didn't already know that. "Look, I saw it, we all did actually; I genuinely thought you guys were end game, but I guess not..."

"Thank you for being here tonight, I couldn't bear to be alone for any much longer." You mumbled, not sure why you were being so shy about it.

"Of course, I enjoy your company anyways Y/N." You pushed yourself up, this time your faces were just mere inches apart, and the beating of your heart increased, the blushing of your cheeks being a mix of alcohol and... lust? Your eyelids barely open, but the glossy look in your eyes shined bright in the tv glow. "Y/N..."

"Izuku..:" You leaned in.

His lips were soft, warm and inviting, the feeling of his hands on your sides caressing your thighs was nice, and the smell of his essence filling your nostrils made your mouth water. He slowly pushed you into his lap, the sweet kisses had turned into more aggressive ones, hands kneading your ass while grinding into you, his lips going down and sucking into your skin making it red and bruised. God, why does it feel so good? You thought. Your hands ran across his back, scratching his neck while allowing him to mark you down, your hips moved along him, his name came out of your lips along a series of moans Was it the alcohol in your body? Or just desire? No idea, but the pleasure was envigorating.

But you also knew that all of this only showed you how lonely have you been, how much you miss his love and his body next to yours. It wasn't Izuku, it was the feeling of him.

Replacing it might work at first, but just for a few months you might be happy but after that? Would it be worth a try?

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou katsuki smut #bakugou katsuki angst #bakugou x reader #midoriya izuku angst #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku x reader #izuku midoriya smut #bnha #bnha izuku midoriya #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha angst #bnha smut #bnha x reader #bakugou katsuki imagine #midoriya izuku imagine #bnha imagines

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floating-in-the-blue · 3 years

Text

First Lines

I was tagged by the best muffin, @merihn

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favourite authors!

from recent to older.

In Your Starlight (Julie and the Phantoms, Willex, Star Trek AU, T, ~46k, ongoing)

Rematerialisation was always a bit of a system shock but usually, you could prepare for the sensation ahead of time. Since all three cadets had been caught unaware, they were now stumbling off the transporter platform, disoriented.

'In Your Starlight' Missing Scene: How to Understand Your Boyfriend (JatP, Willex, Star Trek AU, G, 2k)

Willie was not a good liar and he knew that his feeble excuse of 'needing to check something' didn't sound very convincing. And of course it was bullshit. He'd had all day to check things if things needed checking. So no wonder Alex looked confused and hurt.

Tell Me I Am Yours (JatP, Willex, College AU, T, ~4k)

This had been a stupid idea. That much was apparent the moment Brad opened the door for Alex and called him Patrick, his breath smelling overpoweringly of alcohol and cheese puffs.

ignoring: Starlight Sonata (extended smut chapter from In Your Starlight)

ignoring: Breathe [Extended] (Metal Gear Solid, based on a roleplay so the first lines aren’t mine)

Land of Confusion (JatP, Alex/Luke/Reggie/Willie, Willie joins Sunset Curve AU, T, 1,5k)

They had all agreed that their sound would be better with a rhythm guitarist joining Sunset Curve but when they finally found one, all three grappled with the aftermath of that decision.

Will You (JatP, Alex/Luke/Reggie/Willie, canon divergence AU, T, 9,4k)

Alex had not seen the kiss coming. Which was all the more surprising since he had been waiting for it basically since the day Willie had run him over.

Show Me How to be Whole Again (Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, fanon!Thesesus Scamander/Percival Graves/Credence Barebone, post movie 1 canon divergence AU, E, 7,5k)

A Graves never asks for help.

Percival had discarded most of the things his father had taught him but this lesson had stuck around longer than most.

You don't ask for help. You get where you want by hard work and determination. Needing help is showing weakness and no Graves is ever weak.

Well, fuck that.

The Last Standing (JatP, Bobby | Trevor Wilson, canon compliant, T, 6k)

“Come on.” The voice is distant, muffled by the static in Bobby‘s head. He dimly feels the pressure of a hand taking his, stumbles after the vague outline of the girl and finds himself in a car, feet pushing against empty bottles and knickknack, the scent of cheap air freshener in his nose.

Home is Where My Ghost is (JatP, Willex, post-canon, G, ~4k)

“Willie!” Alex sighed with relief as he spotted the familiar figure on the skateboard. He hadn't been sure where he'd find his friend, had been terrified that Caleb had done something to him in punishment for the boys' escape. But here he was, skating around the same museum he'd brought Alex to just a few weeks earlier.

ignoring: Plot Bunny Crib (collection of short OS)

And then tea (Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley, post-canon, T, 666)

Aziraphale was personally responsible for devouring countless items of food in his time, from cakes to sushi to ice cream. But this had been the first time that he himself had been devoured.

Thursday (Metal Gear Solid, Solid Snake/Otacon, grief fic, G, 778)

“The bed is too big.”

He’s aware of heads nodding even as he continues to stare at his shoelaces. They all know this.

“But a smaller one would seem wrong. No space for him.”

Him is David. Him is also Solid Snake but they don’t know that. For once, it doesn’t matter.

Cancer he said because everybody understands cancer and it’s close enough.

Imperfect Paradise (MGS, Solid Snake/Otacon, missing scene from Battlefield, WW I/WW II AU, G, 1,5k)

Something has been on Hal’s mind for a while now but David doesn’t ask. If Hal wants to confide in him, he will and until then, David will be patient.

Lomqa' (Star Trek Discovery, Hugh Culber & Ash Tyler | Voq, post 2x08 canon divergence, G, 1,3k)

Ash Tyler is horribly familiar with the acidic taste of guilt on this tongue; the way it burns his throat until he hardly knows how to speak anymore. How to breathe.

Guilt is a hungry demon sitting in his chest.

But anger is sitting right beside it, hissing in his veins, his ears, his head. Boiling his blood.

Under My Skin (MGS, Snake/Otacon, florist/tattoo artist AU, E, 11k)

The first thing he notices is the smell. The air is humid and heavy with the perfume of flowers and plants. Hal rubs his glasses clean off the fog and puts them on again to take a look around. It feels like a different world, the noise from the street muffled, like a shop-sized slice of paradise.

Hal sneezes.

31 (Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, Phrack, post tv canon, G, 8k)

The Honourable Miss Phryne Fisher prided herself in always taking great care in how she dressed. She enjoyed the power that comes from the right fashion and wielded that power well. She also did not believe in hiding her age or her body. And both had been very kind to her throughout the years.

Phryne was always impeccably dressed but this day warranted extra care. It was a special occasion and one she had waited thirty-one years for!

Love Me To the End (Fantabi, fanon!Thesesus Scamander/Percival Graves/Credence Barebone, music AU, G, 550)

The first time Credence heard Graves’ music, he wanted to wrap himself in it, let the voice caress him and keep him safe. Blood on his back and bile in his mouth. But music in his heart.

The Dog Dilemma (MGS, Solid Snake, 50 cats AU, G, 2,6k)

The weather took a turn for the worse as Snake got into the town proper. Rain was beating onto the windshield, rendering the world outside into a blur and maybe he should have picked another day for this but now he'd gotten this far. Besides, it would be dry inside the shelter and Snake was nothing if not weatherproof. He'd gotten through worse inconveniences than rain.

Team Up or Go Home (MGS, Solid Snake & Otacon, pre-Philanthropy, G, 1,8k)

There was snow in his nose. And his ears. Two places that it definitely wasn't supposed to be. He wasn't that much of a fan of snow anyway but when it intruded into his body, he could almost say that he hated it.

ignoring: Love is in the Folds (Doctor Strange’s Cape/Thor’s Cape, crackfic)

The Dress (MFMM, Phrack, canon divergence, T, 1k)

He thought he was prepared by now for Phryne's sartorial arsenal. The luxurious fabrics, satin gliding over her body with every move, furs framing her lovely face, begging, tempting to be touched. Jewellery made of diamonds and sapphires that burnt with an inner fire just like their wearer. He thought that he has seen it all. The lethal dresses full of feminine power, the flowing folds of trousers, the practical yet stylish clothes she dons for more dangerous missions. He has seen the kaleidoscope of colours and patterns to bedazzle all senses and has grown used to it.

But this is new.

Generosity (MFMM, Phrack, canon divergence, E, ~2k)

After kissing Phryne, after finally making it clear how much he wanted and needed her, Jack had thought the rest would be simple. Glorious and exquisite, for sure. Maybe even poetic. But ultimately simple. He hadn’t counted on sudden nerves making his fingers tremble and his cheeks flush. He hadn’t expected how hard it would be to look Phryne in the eyes, those lovely eyes, once they were alone in her boudoir.

Worst Man at the Wedding (MGS, Kazuhira Miller/Ocelot, possibly canon compliant by who knows, T, 1k)

He looked handsome in the tuxedo, there was no denying that. But then, he had always been handsome, no matter the clothes. He'd looked handsome in the blazing Costa Rican sun, wearing only far too small speedos and sweat on his skin, and he'd still managed to look handsome after being cut into pieces, wrapped in blood and dirt and excrements. Though the latter was a look best appreciated from a very far distance! It wasn't really fair, this outrageous beauty, but Ocelot wouldn't exactly have given his right hand and a leg for that particular superpower.

I haven’t done this in a while so this was fun! Thanks again for the tag, darling. It appears I rarely open with direct speech. But I have no idea which one is my favourite opening? So how about you guys tell me which you like best (regardless of whether you know the fandom or context or whatever)? Please?? :D

As for tagging ... puh, most fic writers I know have already been tagged, but let me see who I can pull up from my other, dormant fandoms: @kbstories (hey, look! I remembered your new URL :D), @hot-elf, @firesign23, @bettsican

#yeoyou writes #my writing #long post #willex #ghost4 #otasune #phrack

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the-13th-rose · 2 years

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and for the record I don't actually think there's anything inherently wrong with yandere or the people who like it. I was just irritated and too tired to word it politely. I just don't personally get the appeal and am upset by seeing it with my f/os, some of which I have to occassionally remind myself would not hurt me and would apologize if anything they said genuinely upset me, because they're already canonically kind of violent or rude. and when it happens with the nice ones it's just baffling and makes me go "idk who that is but it's not my darling"

anyway to word my post a little nicer since people want to keep putting words in my mouth and intentionally misinterpreting who I am:

“I am frustrated by the overabundance of yandere cookie run content, as someone who prefers other content that is not catered to as much and also doesn’t understand why violent reimaginings of often very kind characters is popular. I don’t think I’m better than people who like yandere stuff and enjoy some dark content myself, mostly hurt/comfort (with sometimes very violent forms of hurt) and horror. I don’t wish to get into arguments over my own personal opinion and intend to offend no one, but would recommend blocking me if my wording upsets you. I have since blacklisted the yandere tag and should hopefully run into no other instances of the material I dislike, so this problem is no longer an issue for me. I am merely venting my frustration and am not looking for a fight over any sort of thing, much less something as trivial as fandom interests.”

#i am not going to fight people on this.#it's not worth it

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aobawilliams · 3 years

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First Line Tag Game!!

I was tagged by @idontonlytalkaboutdcmk

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line, then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

I’ll try to go from more recent to older (date of the creation of the doc will be written in MM/YYYY format), but this might not correspond to the time the sentence was actually written. (I might have missed some stuff but, oh well, whatever.)

1- (04/2021) Aizawa meets Izuku AU (MHA, OS in progress)

It was luck that brought Shouta here.

2- (03/2021) Vigilante Yagi AU (MHA, in-progress, either a long-fic or a serie of OS)

All Might has been a hero longer than he has ever been Yagi Toshinori.

3- (02/2021) Dad For All AU (MHA, various blurb on tumblr so far, most likely a longfic)

Izuku was trying really hard not to panic. One second he was fighting a villain with a still unknown quirk, the next he found himself __ years in the past, according to the news report currently going on TV.

4- (02/2021) Midoriya Inko’s Guide To Good Parenthood (MHA, in progress, probably a serie of OS?)

Midoriya Inko isn’t anything special. She's 30 going on 52, has a really bad case of anxiety, can and will cry for any reasons, and has gotten so many grey hair from her son's shenanigans its a wonder she still has green hair.

5- (12/2020) The Kids Will Be Alright (DCMK, spin-off of Sharpen Your Knives)

Ran was running. Fast, fast, faster, not fast enough. She put all her strength in her legs, went as fast as she could.

6- (11/2020) Before the coffee gets cold - The Sisters (DCMK, OS published on AO3)

It was probably foolish of her to come back to this place. But, on the off chance that the rumours were true, she wanted to give it a chance.

7- (11/2020) Sharpen Your Knives (DCMK, in-progress longfic, won’t be published for a long while)

Shinichi has no idea how things could have gone so wrong, so quickly.

8- (08/2020) The Time Travel Road Trip Case (DCMK, spin-off of Who The F- Is This) (technically not the first lines, but it’s the first part I’ve written)

Shinichi(Conan) felt someone lift him up from the back, he turned his face as he came level with their chest, one look at their face and…

Well, guess he found KID.

9- (06/2020) Who The F- Is This (DCMK, longfic in progress, the first chapters are on AO3)

Shinichi’s head was throbbing. He felt like someone was playing drums with his head. What has happened?

10- (06/2020) Harrinichi Kupotter (DCMK & Harry Potter x-over, longfic in progress)

Shinichi doesn't really believe in superior beings, gods or the supernatural. So far everything in his life could be explained by science and very human tricks.

11- (03/2019) Naobuza & Raphtaku AU (The Rising of the Shield Hero & Naruto x-over, an old baby I keep coming back to)

If you were to ask anyone to tell you about Naofumi Iwatani, those who remember him would tell you that he’s a weird kid. There’s something otherwordly about him, as if he was evolving in a totally different universe from them.

12- (01/2019) The self-indulgent FMA TT au (FMA, an old project that I should go back to, someday)

Somehow, sometimes, Ed felt like there was some being out there, out for him.

13- (01/2019) Nanadaime time travel AU (Naruto, will most likely be an OS, one day I will finish it enough to post it on AO3)

It was a late night In the Hokage office, one of many. As was usual by now, the Hokage was filling paperwork at his desk, his right-hand-man filling his own number of files at his side.

14- (11/2018) Baby Ed saving the world with hugs and punches (FMA, an old project that I will go back to)

On a warm night during the summer of 2005, as the sun left it’s place for the shining stars, Edward Elric went to sleep for the last time besides his lovely wife, in the house he has rebuilt with his own two hands.

15- (06/2018) The roadtrip 03Ed never knew he needed (FMA03/CoS & Fantastic Beasts and where to find them x-over, a serie of OS)

He wasnt sure what brought him back here.

Maybe he just wanted to make sure Envy was dead, one monster less in this world. Or maybe he just wanted to make sure there was no way between both world (no way to go home.)

16- (04/2018) Badass Women Roleswap AU (FMA, I still sometime go back to it, will most likely be a serie of OS)

Ed didn’t have many memories of his father. He could remember a tall man, who always looked sad. A giant who always had trouble when it came to holding him and his brother. A figure always working in his study. A person who always looked sad when teaching them alchemy.

17- (03/2018) FMA TT fic I wasnt planning to expend (FMA, old project, I will get back to it.) (it is, also, the first fanfic idea I got when I got back into writing fics)

Nothing happened as it should have been. No matter everything they’ve done to try and stop him, the dwarf in the flask still managed to bypass it all and, in some way, reach his goal.

And that’s pretty much it for any written stuff I got (anything else is too old)

Bonus: A la recherche du canard (Looking for the duck) - it’s an old assignment I had for french class, where we had to pick an article and write a short story based on it. (When I say old, I mean it’s from 2012 - it’s a good way to see how far I’ve come). It’s honestly really bad but I did have a lot of fun back then. (This is a translated from french version btw) (yes I stole names from Hetalia I was always terrible at finding names for characters)

The sun shined upon the sleeping man face, who opened his bright blue eyes. He got up suddenly, throwing his blanket on the ground. Today would be the day where he, Alfred F. Jones, Yorkville police officer, would accomplish his mission: keeping an eye on the annual fair set-up.

So, observations: You can very clearly see me go through various fandom phases it’s funny. Also my naming skills for the AUs got slightly better (but not that much.) I do tend to drop a name (usually the person from whom the POV is) in those first sentences. The first paragraph tend to get shorter with time (which might simply be because I realised I tend to lose focus when it gets too long.) I also never start on dialogue, generally I go for the POV’s thought uh.

I do quite like the ones for the Vigilante Yagi AU and the Midoriya Inko’s guide, The Kids Will Be Alright too. Badass Women I like it but also am not 100% happy with it.

This mostly made me want to share even more about these stories to y’all.

Anyway! Tagging @whoever wants to do it! I’m not sure whom I follow has already done it/been tagged or not, uuuuhhh, maybe @artistfingers ? If you’re a writer and wants to do it then go for it and tag me I guess.

#cro shouts into the void #tag game #i accidentally lost the first draft and had to do it again and I Am Not Mad #(it's a lie i am a little bit mad)#also if you want to know more about any of those please send me an ask

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pit-fall-seed · 3 years

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uh self ship ramble

i already wrote all this out but i lost it all so im writing it again uh if you actually read this thats kinda epic uh surprising but,, thank you dude also uh there is no grammar or like punctuation or structure in this its just kinda me talking cause i like doing that UH OKAY so, my f/os are kyle and michael michael would def come first fr fr uh like okay so im fr like a scenekid so obviously like him and the goths would think im a total poser and hate me and think im worse than like yknow vamps and emos combined

i mean im a kandikid i got that whole plur type thing happening thats like,, the opposite of em pls

but like itd get to the point where michael just wouldnt s t o p talking about me ofc in a negative fashion but enough for the rest of them to kinda just “,,,dude,,” ykn okay uh yeah yeah so like uh then they kinda discover what my house looks like which uh cough cough uh gothic mansion cause @remibody-can-cook is fr a vampire uh cause well they are and like i live w him hes my brother and stuff i can explain that later if anyone would like </3

but anyways uh theyd prob be kinda more tolerable to me like when i first see them i prob would compliment their outfits and stuff so ive like talked to them before but like hardly yeah but like! uh i end up being pretty chill w michael and like we hang out and stuff and its pretty epic!! uh yea yea uh fun fact thought of a thing like either henrietta yknow no prob her would j “why is he like over there acting like a preppy beiber wannabe? theres nothing to smile about in this dought of a world” but like,,,, to where it actually fr sounds like her DAGKDAK uh and like idfk firkle (i wanna actually kick him WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE THAT PISSED </3) would say smthn like uh alog the lines of “let him enjoy his conformist fairytale for a little bit longer” idfk but uh like to hc despite him being,,, how he is hed have more of a soft spot for me ykn like hed actually smile and shit for once SAGAK ykn and i like to hc he rlly rlly likes wholesome physical affection plsplsplspsl hes so cute pls </3 ofc hed still like joke bully me a bunch but like its all in good spirits even if hes not the clearest about it uh uh uhuhuhuh kyle uh this ones so much more basic rem who i mentioned earlier like,,, hangs w cartman and kenny and i kinda tag along with him a lot so i kinda end up meeting all of em so uh yknow kyle and i we just kinda work ykn our personalities just mesh rlly rlly well.??? dude imagine sleepovers w both of them omg i think theyd get in debates about like morals and the world n stuff which could get kinda heated sometimes because uh they can both be pretty fuckn stubborn but ykn they kinda just learn to be fine with eachother i mean they get along pretty fine but man like hanging out with both of them would be so FUN PLS </3 </3 CRIES N UH4728939 LANGUAGES omg i need to stop </3

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hopeswriting · 3 years

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for the fanfic write askgame, how about 23, 33 and 38?

Thank you for the ask!

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

I’ve been thinking about it, and it’s gotta be Hurt/Comfort, both as a writer and a reader. And this is probably just me projecting lol, but there’s just something in seeing characters be hurt/hurting, knowing they’ll have/will be given care after that speaks to me.

Also I guess it’s pretty obvious to say it, but mostly as a reader, the hurt must come with comfort. Or at least I need to be 100% certain the comfort will come at some point, and will matter.

And I actually think that’s why I can only handle so much amount of angst, because unless it’s tagged for it (and even then, I find Angst with a Happy Ending and such, and Hurt/Comfort just don’t hit the same way), you never know if it’ll be worth it in the end. And I’m a big softie so I can’t handle it zsdfgdsc.

A very close second favorite trope, also both as a writer and a reader, is when any characters with Responsibilities/Duties/Expectations (namely The Chosen One trope and such) just say fuck it all and does fuck it all.

Either by finding a solution that won’t leave them incredibly traumatized when all’s said and done, or by actually fucking off and making it everyone else’s problem.

I find it’s mostly present in Dark![Character Name] fics, which I also love to write and read, so it all works out for me lol.

33. What do you like writing better: one shots or multi-chapter stuff?

Okay so, I love the multi-chapters fics I have currently published, but one-shots? OS are delightful.

I got into them recently and I just really love them, and I can’t stop zsdfghjgf, there’re so many more OS ideas that came to my mind since the first one.

I also find they just work best with my creative process, though not exactly easier, even if my writing does come easier with OS lol.

Anyway, because I can’t write short they always become longer than originally planned, whether I keep them in a single chapter or add a few chapters to it, but the short format really gets me going.

Actually probably because of its short format, I can’t go as lengthy as I’d usually go, so I can focus on worldbuilding/characters/plots by choosing a couples scenes I want to write and will work best with each other, and it’s super fun, and again, just works better with my creative process.

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I think I’m a solid 4. And it could be good news but it’s not lol, because it’s not like I do outlines I keep to, or have schedules I follow, or stuff like that (I very much don’t zdsfgds).

It’s just like, either I’m writing or I’m not, no in-between whatsoever. Which means I can go periods without writing a word, only to straight up go into a writing fever lol.

But also I think I’m 4 because when I do write? It’s also in an on and off type of way. I simply cannot sit myself and write what I know I want to write and how I already know how to write it in one go.

I need to distract myself for literally no reason whatsoever, which means that a chapter I could have written in two hours takes two days or more zasdfgdf.

#ask games #ahh that was very fun to do!!#thanks again for the ask!#chierry

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astralshipper · 4 years

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OKAY HI IM SORRY I HAVENT BEEN ON IN A COUPLE DAYS REALLY!! i had midterms the past two days so i have been. stressing. BUT the worst of them are over! while i was gone i got tagged in that new selfship tag game a couple times (thank u k and aricka!!!) and ALSO HELLO IF U HAVE TAGGED ME IN APPRECIATION POSTS U ARE ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE AND I APPRECIATE U SO SO MUCH!!! THANK U SO MUCH!! okay! gonna do the self ship tag under the cut!! doing it as astrael bc Fun :000

KEY: Italics is Astrael. Bold is Sam.

Introduce yourselves. Who are you? What do you like to do? Hi! I’m Astrael, I’m an angel of the lord, and all that fun stuff. I like music a lot, and I’m really into art, even though I’m not the best at it. I also really love reading and writing! Those rare nights that we can just hang out in the silent bunker and dive into a good book, they’re the best nights for sure. Hey, my name’s Sam, I’m a hunter. Like, “things that go bump in the night” kind of hunter, not the Bambi kind, heh. When we aren’t out on a hunt or stopping the world from going off the rails for the seventeenth time this week, I really like reading and history. True crime stuff is really interesting to me, and I’m a huge fan of ancient lore and really just any knowledge I can get my hands on, you know? If I’ve got the time, watching football is always a good way to spend an evening too.

How was your first meeting like? Oh, dad, I don’t know if I wanna really say... it’s kinda embarrassing. So, I kinda... searched him down? Not in like! A creepy way! I’m an angel, right? So, Sammy boy over here was supposed to be big bro Lucifer’s vessel for the apocalypse. Big family dinner drama and all that. So, us angels were tasked with basically... trying to kick his ass at any point possible. Ha! That didn’t work out too well, did it? So, yeah, she found me at this library while Dean and I were working a case. She didn’t tell me what she was or who she was, but she ended up helping me with the case and we got to talking for a while. Then, Dean called me, and I had to run before I could get any contact information. Not that you needed it anyways. You were friends with my brother already, luckily. I had found him because I wanted to see who this big bad evil guy was that everyone was talking about, and I... didn’t expect this... giant puppy, basically. Hey!

How did you get together? Who confessed first? Oh god, this one... Listen, I didn’t MEAN for this to be how it went down! What he’s trying to tell you is, he’s the one that confessed at the absolute worst possible time. Okay, well, I thought you were gonna die so I wasn’t exactly thinking straight. The words just kinda came out, alright?

What are your thoughts on PDA? Believe it or not, I’m... kinda shy. So I worry a lot about making people uncomfortable. That’s not that I don’t WANT to be affectionate with Sam in public. And that’s where I come in. Hi. Most PDA is initiated by me, somehow.

How do you show your affection towards each other/what are your love languages? Sam reacts best to acts of service, I feel like. Though, different moods tend to call for different things. If it’s general love, it’s more of the acts of service. If he’s scared or worried, it’s more physical affection. I show my affection mostly through physical affection and verbal affirmations, since that’s usually what Astra prefers. But I’m big on performing acts of service too.

Who's more introverted and who's more extroverted? We’re both introverts. Oh, but you KNOW you’re the more extroverted one. You can handle being around people way longer than I can. Well, yeah, but it’s not my favorite thing in the world. We took that, uh, personality type test? I’m INFJ, she’s INFP. Just in case that means something to you guys.

Who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon? I’m big spoon. Okay, not ALWAYS. Don’t say it so intensely like that. Nope, it’s definitely always me. Sam, baby, you aren’t fooling anybody. That, like, 5% of times that you’re the little spoon doesn’t make you any less of a man. Can we please move on?

What do you like doing together the most? Reading! Netflix! Making fun of Dean! Sleeping! That’s YOUR favorite, angel.

Tell us a fun fact about the other! Ooooh, okay. Well, Astra takes notes in her books as she reads them. Like, keeps a pencil with her and writes notes on the sides of pages. I have no idea what she’s taking notes on, but I don’t think she knows that we’re not in grade school and she doesn’t have to do the annotations anymore. I trusted you with that information and you betray me. I can’t believe this... Just for that, hi everyone, Sam once tore the whole bunker apart because he couldn’t find this one specific damn flannel, as if he didn’t have seventy other identical ones hanging up in the closet already. Also, I’m an angel, I never went to grade school, asshole. Check and mate. I don’t think that sounded quite as cool and intimidating as you wanted it to.

Tag other selfshippers and their f/os. anybody that wants to!!!!!

#long post tw #long post #tag game #supernaturally soulmates #THANK U GUYS SM!!!#UR WONDERFUL

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maastrash · 5 years

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Pushing it (Elorcan NSFW)

A/N: Thank you all for 900 followers!! I hope you enjoy this elorcan os!

Warning: SMut smut smuttity smut bahaha this is basically porn with a little bit of a plot...

Read on A03 here :)

Elide groaned as she threw her bag onto the floor, gum, lipstick, and receipts spilling out. Her ankle was throbbing so terribly that she couldn't find the energy to care. She sat down on her plush grey couch sighing softly as her ankle found instant relief. Lorcan, her boyfriend, shut the door behind them and sat down next to her.

“I told you not to overdo it,” he said. And although annoyance coated his words, she could see the worry in his eyes.

Elide knew that she should be thankful and even flattered that he cared for her so much, but his territorial mothering was growing tiresome. It was an old injury anyways and she knew how to deal with it.

When she was young, her parents passed away she was forced to live with her sleazy uncle, Vernon. In high school, she had broken her ankle and Vernon hadn’t wanted to waste money on a doctor’s visit so it never healed properly. Elide had learned to live with the slight limp and trained enough that it had finally stopped aching. However, a recent car accident seemed to have aggravated the old injury.

“Well how do you suppose I heal if I don’t practice?” she snapped. Her words coming out harsher than intended.

Lorcan sighed, his brows furrowing. “The therapy is supposed to help you with the pain, Elide, not make it worse. You shouldn’t have pushed it so far.”

“Well, what do you want me to do it about it now? What’s done is done.”

“Let me see it,” he said, outstretching his hand.

“It’s fine, Lorcan.”

“Elide,” he warned. “Don’t fight me on this, just let me see it.”

She rolled her eyes, but eventually gave in, placing her ankle on his lap. She knew that when Lorcan was this determined, it was best not to fight him.

He began massaging her ankle. His hands finding the sorest parts and kneading out the knots until the pain began to ebb away. Elide couldn’t help but sigh in relief. She hated to give Lorcan the satisfaction, but he was right. She had pushed herself too hard. At least now she wouldn’t have to deal with a tight, sore ankle tomorrow.

Elide moaned as Lorcan’s deft fingers began circling a particularly sore spot. She couldn’t deny that it felt good. Her cheeks flooded with warmth as she thought about what else his fingers could be doing. She tried to banish the thought, but she couldn’t stop thinking about it.

“Lorcan,” she rasped. “I think you need to go higher.”

He only nodded, moving his hands slightly upwards until he began massaging the muscles in her calf.

“Higher.”

Lorcan gave her a questioning look until he saw the flush of her cheeks and heard the desperate edge to her voice.

He smirked, gently removing her ankle from his lap and standing abruptly. Before Elide could protest at the lack of contact he picked her up off the couch bridal style.

Elide squealed wrapping her arms around his neck, losing herself in his onyx eyes.

“What are you doing?” she gasped.

“Taking you to the bedroom. I can’t do what I want to do on that tiny couch.”

Elide felt warmth flood her core in anticipation. She kissed him gently as he slowly made his way to the bedroom. Their bedroom.

She melted into the kiss letting him lead her. They broke apart only so he could lay her gently on the bed. He went to his knees, grasping her ankle and starting his message again. He slowly made his way up until he was working her thighs. Once he reached the waistband of her pants he slowly slid them off her body until she was naked from the waist down.

“Hey, I had nice panties on,” Elide began. “You didn’t ev-”

Her words got caught in her throat as Lorcan licked between her legs.

Her back arched off the bed and Lorcan had to hold her down to keep her from thrusting into his face.

He teased her with his tongue, her moans becoming desperate, she was close. Right when she felt herself approaching her climax, Lorcan removed his mouth smirking.

Elide could have killed him.

“Lorcan!”

“What’s wrong?” he asked, feigning innocence.

“Don’t stop,” she said, panting.

He raised a brow. “Is that how you ask nicely.”

Elide gave him her death glare, but he just smiled back at her.

He stood, making his way up her body with hot, open-mouthed kisses. He placed his hands on either side of her kissing the sweet spot between her neck and shoulder. Elide gasped at the movement but only became needier as she saw Lorcan above her, a mischevious look in his eyes.

“Lorcan, please,” she managed to get out. She was breathing hard and needed him to touch her.

He leaned down brushing his lips against hers softly. He moved down leaving kisses on every inch of exposed skin, her shoulder, her collarbone, her neck. Sucking softly then gently licking the small hurts. She’d be covered in marks tomorrow yet she couldn’t seem to care.

Pulling her shirt off her body and unclasping her lacy black bra Elide smiled at the lust that filled his eyes.

“I think you have too many clothes on”

Lorcan smirked sliding his own shirt off and grinning as Elide took in the hard planes of his chest, his entire torso corded in muscle. Cocky bastard she thought to herself.

Lorcan took one of her full breasts in his mouth swirling his tongue around it, his finger rolling the other. Elide moaned, he knew just what drove her crazy.

She gripped the waistband of his pants desperately trying to get them off so he could pleasure her thoroughly. Lorcan chuckled as she finally succeeded and helped her by kicking his pants and boxers onto the floor.

Taking the hint, Lorcan aligned himself with Elide’s center and slowly slipped into her.

Her eyes fluttered shut, as Lorcan teased her, moving much too slow for her liking. She gripped his back pulling him closer until he was fully sheathed inside of her. They both groaned at the feeling.

Lorcan paused, kissing her cheek to let her adjust to the fullness of him.

He began with slow, short thrusts, but it wasn’t long until Elide was a panting mess. She wanted more. Needed more.

As if he could read her mind Lorcan picked up the pace, his thrusts quickening. He nearly pulled out all the way before slamming back into her.

Elide could feel her climax approaching and the noises coming out of her mouth were no longer coherent. Mumbles that could’ve been his name or could’ve been begging fell out of her mouth until she reached that glorious peak, her body seizing with pleasure, but Lorcan wasn’t done yet.

He drew out her orgasm continuing to thrust into her slowly. He gripped her legs pulling them onto his shoulders the new angle allowing him to go deeper inside her. Slowly she felt herself approaching that cliff again. She knew Lorcan was close too. This time when she went over the edge, he went with her, her orgasm triggering his own.

She sighed as he emptied himself inside of her, never feeling so complete.

They lay there for a while, Lorcan on top, limp, but still inside.

“I love you,” he whispered against her neck.

She was too spent to even respond, but she kissed his head in response, knowing he knew what she meant.

After a few minutes, he withdrew and Elide almost groaned at how empty she felt without him inside of her.

Lorcan lied down next to her pulling her close to his chest. They stayed there for the rest of the afternoon wrapped up in each other's arms and Elide wondered if pushing herself wasn't such a terrible mistake after all.

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justice4harwin · 3 years

Text

Light’s Corruption-Chapter IX

Summary: With few friends at the Little Palace, Alina must work to win the favour of her fellow grisha and their commander, who makes her feel light headed every time she sees him.

Something happens. Suddenly, Alina wants blood to run down the rivers and those who stand in her and The Darkling’s way will be blinded by her light and swallowed by his shadows.

It won’t be pretty.

Pairing: The DarklingxAlina

Rating: 18+

As usual, the tags are in the comments; if you no longer want to be in the list or wanna be added, please don’t hesitate to let me know :)

Click here for chapter VIII if you missed it

Chapter 9: Dancers

Aleksander

When Alina met with him at the entrance to the Little Palace just before dawn, she looked slightly green.

He suppressed a small smile. A still half-drunk Genya had reported to him of his summoner's activities, and while it was technically not allowed to hold celebrations, he'd make no comment nor punish Alina for it. Did it really count if it was just the two of them anyways? They had already developed the custom of eating and drinking the afternoon away together. Besides, he needed her on his side.

"How are you feeling, Alina?" he asked, starting to walk towards the gates, where two Oprichniki were posted.

She followed slowly, her feet dragging across the floor.

"Great. Cold and tired, but I'm peachy." she said in the most monotonous voice he had heard from her so far.

She was truly amusing sometimes, more so than Ivan, maybe.

"Let us go." he offered her his arm, and she eyed it like she suspected it to be a disguised rifle before gladly taking it.

They strode out of the Little Palace into the biting cold of the ravkan winter on their own. There was no need guards when Alina was with him.

They walked far down south, nearing the woods that formed part of the Palaces grounds.

"Why do we have to do it so early?" Alina complained, taking a fist to her mouth.

If he did not know any better, he would think she was about to vomit.

"So nobody else gets to see you." he explained as they came to a stop at the edge of the woods. She dropped her hand and he immediately missed the warmth of her body. "Most people enjoy sleeping in late, especially during this season."

"You mean the king is a lazy bastard?"

He smiled, briefly.

"You learn faster than I thought."

"I'm insulted." Alina said, brows frowned, looking sicker by the second. "Everyone keeps saying that."

He felt tempted to tease her further, but he caught himself before he did such nonsense and cleared his head.

"Call the light."

It was still dark enough that they would not need to summon his shadows during the first few lessons.

She gulped, cheeks puffing for a second, and then did as asked. A big orb of light appeared from her pretty…from her hands, warming up the space they occupied.

"Now what?"

"Do it again but try to control the size."

Alina obeyed, the light fading before she made it re-appear again, smaller. She did it again and again without need to be told, making the orb of light smaller and smaller until it was nothing but a candle's flame.

"Good. Now make it bigger."

He watched as she did it, the orb growing, taking over her arms, then taking over her entire body, then taking over his as well, and then grew a little more, maybe a meter or two, before it began to flicker.

"You are afraid." he said plainly.

"I'm not!" of course she would have it in herself to argue with him, even in such a state.

"You will not loose control, Alina." he told her calmly, sure of his words as he was sure of his name. "You are far stronger than you give yourself credit for."

She looked at him, her dark eyes full of hope, and something deeper he did not accomplish to decipher. Saints, he hated when she did that.

Alina closed her eyes then, and with a deep breath, she bought her hands in towards her sides and expanded again. The orb grew and kept growing, melting the snow in its way, leaving everything drenched and in various shapes of green and browns, as if autumn had not abandoned them.

He watched her in fascination as she dropped her hands and still, the light remained.

She truly was stronger than she realised.

She looked at him.

"Now what?" she asked, her voice, so soft and lovely, anyone else would not guess her to wield such a great power.

"Now the real work begins." he breathed out, his hands itching for something. He was not sure what. Her? or her power?

In the blink of an eye, the light disappeared, and she hunched over, heavily throwing up on the damp, green grass.

He sighed, walking over and around her to hold her hair back.

The real work would begin after she was feeling better.

Alina liked it when mommy made water dance. It made her giggle, and she loved chasing the flow, even though she knew she'd never catch it.

Daddy liked it when the water danced too. One time, when Alina asked him if he could make something dance too, he had pulled her up into his arm and grabbed mommy with his other free arm and made them all twirl until the world spun and their humble, temporary home was full of childish joy.

They didn't have much, but love, that was something that overflowed the small hut they lived in.

When she was maybe four, or at least that was the amount of fingers Alina showed the people of the village when they asked her age with a little smile, her parents decided to go live in another village near Caryeva.

Little Alina was used to that. They never stayed too long in one place. It did make her a little sad though, for she always had to say goodbye to her little friends, and Alina hated saying goodbye.

"Why don't we live in one place, pappa?" she asked, her tiny hand clasped in his.

He looked down as they advanced, his hair almost shining in a colour that was very close to black when the sun hit it right.

"Because exploring is fun!" he had said, although his smile didn't quite reach his blue eyes.

"I know you like exploring." she said, rolling her eyes. She knew that already, why was he so dummy and didn't answer her question? Watching as her mommy walked a few paces ahead, she smiled. "That is how you met mamma isn't it?"

"Exactly!" he said, pinching her nose affectionately. "And we get to make lots, lots of friends!"

"But then we never see them again." the child complained.

Her father frowned slightly.

"The memories are what count, Alinochka."

The child felt sad anyways. She wanted to stay in one place for more than a season. Besides, she didn't like being lied to, and as small as she was, she could tell there were things her parents didn't tell her.

"Tell me again how you and mommy met!" she asked, taking a small leap. If he didn't want to listen to her, then he could talk.

He sighed dramatically, but smiled and placed her in his shoulders before he began the tale.

Her pappa had always liked to travel. He wanted to know the entire world. When his parents died when he was fifteen -Alina struggled to count with her fingers, but he showed her how much with his own hand-, he set off to see all of Ravka, even making it through The Fold. He wandered up north, where the fjerdans lived in their eternal winters -or so he said-, and quickly got bored, so he decided to go back to Ravka and continue south.

He found himself in Shu Han, where he stayed longer. He headed northeast, where he discovered a small village of people who could make things dance, just like mommy. And Mommy was there!

He was allowed to stay there, so long as he kept quiet about their dancing abilities. He learned the language, and he went on pursuit of mommy. Daddy always said that she just couldn't resist his 'charms' -whatever those were, they sounded gross-, to which mommy would raise an eyebrow and question him. Alina loved that part, for mommy and daddy would start teasing each other about who loved who first. She always giggled like mad as mommy playfully splashed water on daddy's face.

The part of the story Alina didn't like was the one that took place a long time after pappa had settled with the dancing people. He told her, with a small, almost scared voice, that one day, mean people showed up uninvited at the village, and he and mommy ran into the mountains, for the mean people didn't know how to dance and wanted to learn how to.

"They didn't ask nicely?"

"No, Alina, they didn't. They didn't think it was normal for people to make things dance."

"Oh; …but it's so pretty!" she would say, not understanding why those mean people couldn't ask nicely to be taught.

They realized Alina was in mommy's tummy halfway through their journey back to Ravka through the mountains.

They both told her of how she was born at sunrise, in the middle of a field surrounded by nothing but two old stone columns.

That was where they were headed to again.

Alina couldn't wait to see the place.

They stayed in a village nearby first, during a few weeks, much to the child's frustration. She wanted to see the place with the columns! But her parents had to work.

They stayed in a muddy inn Alina didn't like, where neither she nor her mother would walk around by themselves. The people there stared at them funny, they didn't wave their hands back when Alina did it with a big grin; but they were nice enough to pappa.

Alina asked why.

"We don't look like them, my love." her mother had told her one night as she undid what was left of the braid she had sported during the day. "That makes some people wary."

"What's wary?"

"It means that things and people that are different or look different make them uncomfortable."

"But pappa isn't uncomf-con-comf-uncomfy-"

"Uncomfortable." she laughed serenely, tucking her into the bed they all had to share.

"That! And look!" she said, turning and taking her hair in her tiny hands, expanding it to both sides. "I have ugly hair like him." her mother laughed again, her own, silky black hair falling down her back in a mesmerizing way. Alina sat on the bed, hands pinching the thin sheets. "He likes to be around us."

"He does." her mother agreed.

"Will you take me to see the place with the columns tomorrow?"

Her mother placed a strand of hair behind her ear.

"We can't go yet, my love." she answered softly.

"When?"

"When we find a small place to live in while we stay here, your father will take you."

Alina rolled her eyes. She knew they'd probably be long gone before that. It had something to do with her mother not wanting to join an army of dancers like her. Her parents wouldn't tell her, even though she now needed a second hand to show people how old she was!

She said nothing though, and let her mother lean down and place a kiss atop her forehead.

"I love you." her mamma whispered.

"Me too. And pappa." she yawned, turning on her side. The bed was big, and they had to share, but even at the tender age of six, Alina was so small she could get lost in it. "Tell him when he gets back from work."

"I will."

The little girl fell asleep.

The little girl woke up only a few hours later, to the smell of smoke, gunshots, yelling, fire everywhere and startled.

It had been years since she had dreamt about her parents, and those dreams were not usually pleasant. They were filled with blood and fear and cold, and it would make her sneak out of the girls' room to go snuggle with Mal, her face buried into his thin pillow as she cried.

This dream though…she didn't exactly remember all those things, yet she knew, deep inside, that they had occurred.

She laid in bed, blankets up to her chin, staring up.

Saints: she couldn't even remember their names.

She was supposed to head down for breakfast, but instead she buried herself further into the clear sheets of her bed, a few stray tears falling down her eyes.

Despite the warmth of the blankets, she couldn't stop shivering.

She was still in bed when Genya found her later, right after lunch. She hadn't been happy about it and had all but dragged and untangled Alina out of her bed like one might rudely bring down a scared cat from a tree.

Once she was laying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling and her friend's unimpressed face, she deigned herself to speak.

"What?"

" 'What', she asks?" She extended a hand and Alina took it, noticing the maids tending to the fire and the ones preparing her a bath. "It's just the Winter Fete and you're expected to perform in front of all the nobles of Ravka, but go ahead and lay in bed all day looking like that." Genya went on as she pointed in the general direction of her face and then grabbed her kit and opened it. " 'What?' she asks" the Tailor snorted. "Go wash yourself, lazy."

"Crazy."

"I'll make you look like a toad."

"…I'll roast your hair."

It was hard for Alina to focus while Genya worked on her hair and face. She kept on thinking about her parents but, as much as she tried, she could scarcely recall their faces.

Pappa was a good dancer. That she remembered.

Mamma made water dance. That she remembered now.

Alina could almost not believe that she had forgotten them, and that fateful night, and the days that followed after.

A chill settled deep in her bones as she looked at herself, clad in her blue and gold kefta -The General had sent a black one, along with a strange pair of gloves, but she rejected them-, and she couldn't shake the background noises of people yelling and the heavy smell of smoke.

Then nothing.

A strange nothingness that made her eyes fill with tears.

"Hey, you will be fine." Genya, standing behind her as she added the finishing touches, said demurely, placing a kind hand on her shoulder. "There's nothing to worry about. You show some light and then it's over. I promise."

Alina nodded absentmindedly, but the words glossed over her just like droplets of rain against glass.

"You know," her friend continued, leaning against the vanity and intertwining her fingers together. "You never told me when your birthday is."

At this, Alina looked up from her hands at her friend's waiting gaze.

She cleared her throat, her thoughts, and tried to form an answer.

"Uh, um…back in Keramzin, I was one of the kids celebrated in March."

"Celebrated in March?" Genya asked, her brows coming almost together.

"Uh, I was very young when I was placed there; I don't remember my exact birth date." she looked down at her hands again, feeling somewhat amazed that she was still here and feeling a great deal of nothingness at the same time. "I believe it was sometime during the summer." she murmured, mostly to herself.

She had a vague memory, of two faceless people with flower crowns on their heads, water dancing, and Alina, with a flower crown of her own, chasing it all day long.

It had to be summer, when the rivers weren't frozen, and everybody danced.

She didn't really recall walking out of her rooms, nor the path towards the halls of the Little Palace, where the Winter Fete was being held.

She didn't register the looks she got from the nobles, the members of the royal family, and her fellow Grisha. She didn't remember when Genya had left her side and The General had taken over.

All she could think about was dancing water.

As she was guided up into a dais, she pictured fingers moving at the tempo of a song, and a thin strip of water doing the same thing.

As she was placed upon the dais, and The General's touch abandoned her just like the dancers had, she thought of a faceless man twirling her around until she felt dizzy.

And as the lights receded and shadows took over the space, surrounding everyone in the same nothingness she was feeling, Alina felt the yells of ravkan men and foreign ones, taking the strongest dancers they could find away from them and ending those who dared to resist them.

So she lifted her hands, called upon her light -a thin stream of gold- and made it dance. Orbs and strings shot out of her hands, waltzing about the room, slowly bringing the light back to it, dancing over everyone's heads, tantalizing them, teasing them.

The room was clear now, and Alina could see all the nobles gazing up in amazement, awestruck with her performance.

"Run!" her mother had shouted, so she did. Away from the people who wanted to learn how to dance by ugly means.

Her gaze shifted towards the two golden seats at her left, where the Tsar and the Tsaritsa sat and watched the spectacle. The woman was smiling up at the lights, while the man ran his greasy fingers through his chin, like a child trying to solve a puzzle far above their age capacity.

Alina looked at The General, taking him in for the first time. There was nothing on his face, just like there was almost nothing in her heart.

She nodded towards him once, and he made his shadows recede just as Alina abruptly called her light back to her, leaving everyone in uneasy darkness for a few moments before the natural lights of the candles and lanterns returned.

There was a round of applause, and some of the nobles even knelt before her, calling her 'Sankta'.

Alina wanted to laugh. Sankta? For what? Making light dance? Then every Grisha should be a Saint as well, in her eyes.

She stepped down with the help of Kirigan's offered hand, and was soon swarmed by an avalanche of nobles who wanted to talk to her, touch her face, her hands, her hair, or ask for a blessing.

"The only blessing I could offer is the lost of sight, but they haven't had that in a while."

She was rescued by Genya and Nina, each of them taking one of her arms and nudging their way out of the crowd and into a more darkened corner.

Alina looked at the Tsar, who spoke quietly with The Apparat, that strange, unnerving man who had given her a book shortly after her arrival at the Little Palace. Alina tried to avoid him.

The Apparat kept on looking at her, and she didn't like what she saw in those dark eyes of his.

"I need a favour." she said to the two women at her sides.

Shortly after, Genya was guiding The Apparat towards a most pious noblewoman and her husband as Alina made her way to the king.

"Moi Tsar." she bowed respectfully, although on her insides, she felt such a rage upon his sight she wanted to claw him open with her bare hands. A man who forced a young servant into his bed was deserving of nothing but endless pain. "I hope the demonstration lived up to your expectations."

"It was quite enchanting, my dear. Very, very lovely." the queen offered, seeming to be in a good mood. This time, her voice did almost sound ethereal. Maybe she was getting better, maybe she was just half drunk.

"Thank you, Moya Tsaritsa." Alina bowed to her as well, and it took all her willpower not to spit on her golden shoes.

If she had been feeling nothing before, she felt everything now.

"Yes, I suppose it was acceptable." the king said, regarding his audience. "I was expecting something more, dramatic, more…"

"Grand, perhaps?" she offered, her voice quaint and her smile soft. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Nina subtly moving her hands, her green eyes trained on the king.

"Yes, I think so, yes." he nodded eagerly.

"Well, with all due respect, Moi Tsar, I have only discovered my abilities barely two seasons ago, and I wouldn't want to cause any accident, you understand?"

The king looked at her, almost indulgent, and smiled in what he must've thought was a lovingly way. She wanted to wrap her hands around his neck and choke him.

"Yes, that is very smart of you, Miss Starkov. I do remember the incident by the lake." he giggled, like it was the funniest thing in the world. The queen did as well, although hers was noticeably forced.

"But I assure you, with more training under General Kirigan's command, I should progress just fine." her smiled sweetened, and she all but battled her eyelashes at him. "Just have a little more patience, please."

"Of course, dear, of course." the king agreed whole-heartedly. "I trust Kirigan is training you well."

"Only the best for the Sun Summoner, Moi Tsar." Kirigan showed up next to her, bowing as she had done, although at a lesser angle.

"Good, good. Good job, you two!" the man congratulated them. "Keep it up, and we might be taking care of The Fold-"

"Soon." The General said, a glint to his grey eyes.

The king nodded, and as his gaze caught that of a young, pretty noblewoman, he dismissed them.

Alina took the arm Kirigan was offering her, slowly guiding her out of the main hall.

"What was that about?" he asked quietly.

Alina could tell he was not exactly pleased, but neither angry or disappointed.

The Summoner remembered everything he and Genya had said about the king, and she turned towards Nina to give her a nod of gratitude, but she was nowhere to be seen.

"The king is an impatient child." she said, her voice as low as his. "I just bought us some time."

"You should leave that to me and worry only about increasing your power."

"I was trying to help you." she said, turning to look him in the eye. It hadn't been just about her, just about giving them enough to love and not fear her, to admire and not haunt her; it had also been -to her embarrassment for some reason- to help him. "You once said there was no one else like us, so it only seems right that we should help each other." she looked around, and saw Lady Anastasia, the young woman from the queen's tea party, waving at her. She was accompanied by two other women. "Besides, compared to all of what you've done for me, this was nothing."

She left, again, before he could reply, putting on a happy face.

"Lady Anastasia. It's been a while."

"Oh! You remember me. Good!" the girl smiled, taking her arm and leading her to the two women who awaited patiently. She pointed at a tall, blonde woman; her hair only slightly lighter than Lady Anastasia's. "This is my sister Zasha, and her wife Galina." she pointed at a redhaired woman clad in a lovely green dress, who smiled softly at Alina. "Sisters, this is Miss Alina Starkov. We had the pleasure of making our acquaintance at one of the queen's tea parties."

At that, both women snorted, looking, for the briefest of moments, unpoised.

"I never heard of pleasure at those torture sessions." Zasha laughed softly, her voice like velvet, while her sister's was sweet as sugar.

"I can only imagine." Lady Galina said, rolling her eyes. "Did she mention at least one black sheep of each member at the table and then-"

"Finished with an 'oh, well' and moved on to the next victim." Alina did a small gesture with her hand, her voice raising to imitate the high-pitched tone of the queen.

All four women laughed quietly.

Alina stayed by Lady Anastasia's side for a few minutes, making idle conversation. It could do her good to have a friend on the court of the Grand Palace. Her sister, Zasha was very polite and elegant, always seeming to know what to say, causing her younger sister to shrink sometimes, although this was not malicious. Her wife Galina, on the other hand, was slightly more outspoken; she was like a rose: pretty, but full of thorns that could pinch anyone, and Saints did she like to pinch at some of the people at the Fete. Alina decided that the redhaired woman was alright, so long as she didn't get on her bad side.

"I must be going now," Alina said, disentangling her arm from Lady Anastasia's grip. "I mean no offense, but I'd like to spend some time with-"

"Your friends?" Lady Galina asked, taking a sip from her drink. She waved her hand off, smiling kindly. "We understand. Go, have fun, if its possible at this kind of circus."

Lady Zasha turned on a charming smile on her, and Alina's cheeks threatened to turn pink.

"It was very lovely to meet you, Miss Starkov. I know you will do great things for the good of Ravka." she bowed her head slightly. "Thank you for that scintillating demonstration earlier."

Alina awkwardly bid her farewell, turning to her right so she could whisper into Lady Anastasia's ear:

"I heard Nadia and some other Etherealki were headed for the banya, if you're interested."

The blonde woman's eyes sparkled, and she nodded subtly, a great grin giving her away.

Alina walked around the Palace grounds aimlessly. She had no destination in mind, and she didn't really care whether she got lost or not. She knew she was being followed anyways; The Darkling had said so to her weeks prior but still, she failed to see the Oprichniki in charge of her safety.

She rounded the lake slowly, seeing some Tidemakers trying to turn the ice back into liquid water so they could fool around. Smiling without feeling much, Alina lifted a hand and threw an arch of light over the surface of the lake, not being so afraid to burn anything.

By the time she finished her round around the lake, there was not a sign of ice in it. The Tidemakers whistled at her and asked her to join them, but she politely declined.

Reclining against a tree, she watched them play around with the water and the snow, making beautiful shapes and playfully fighting off each other.

They made the waters dance.

"Just like mamma." the thought came to her like a monotonous occurrence, yet as soon as it entered her head, she headed towards the stables, kicking that thought out of her head.

"Alina!"

She turned to see Nina running towards her, her breath visible due to the cold.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself, sun bean." the Heartrender linked their arms together. "You're hard to find, you know."

"I was just walking around."

"What a walk it must've been," she said, slightly panting. "I've been looking for you for over an hour. I only knew where you were when you did that thing on the lake."

"Oh, that."

"Yes, oh, that. If you want to go unnoticed by the Tsar, melting the ice of a lake is not a good way of doing it."

"How did you-?"

"Please," Nina rolled her eyes. "If I were in your shoes, I'd want to stall as much as possible too. king's an idiot and he knows nothing about Grisha."

That was true, and everyone except the Tsar himself seemed to know it.

"Why are you out here anyways?" Alina asked, allowing Nina to lead her back inside. "Wouldn't you rather be at the Fete?"

"If it was a real party, maybe." she turned her green gaze on the Sun Summoner, questioning. "Do you know what it takes to make a real party, Alina?"

She was afraid to answer, so she shook her head. Nina leaned in until their breaths mingled, and Alina could clearly see every freckle on her pretty face.

"Waffles."

"What are those?" she asked innocently.

Nina leaned back with such a force she almost took Alina down and gasped loudly, placing a hand to her chest.

"You've never had waffles before?"

"I-I don't even know what those are." Whatever they were, the kitchen staff back in Keramzin hadn't cared to make those for the orphans.

"It's only my one true love. C'mon!" she said, leading her around the Little Palace towards the Grand Palace. "The cooks love me and they'll make some for us."

"We'll get in trouble."

Nina barely gave her a glance.

"Please. They will barely notice. The party is still in full swing."

She turned to look at the Little Palace, filled with figures moving about and muffled music making its way out, harder to hear with every step she took in the direction of the ugliest building ever built.

Nina ushered her through a back entrance for servants and, true to her word, the few people still at work were more than happy to make them some waffles before heading out for the night.

The Sun Summoner watched them and realized that such a thing was simply not doable in Keramzin.

Alina then sat at a small, wooden table in front of Nina, staring down at a plate with a weird, circle cut into four with small squares inside of it.

"It won't bite you, you know; it’s the other way around."

That got a little laugh out of her and for a moment, she let herself relax in Nina's presence.

They took a small piece and Alina bit into it, feeling its crisp texture filling her mouth.

"Is it supposed to be sweet or savoury?"

"Both!" Nina exclaimed, taking another big bite, eyes alight. "That's why they're so amazing."

Alina tried a second and third bite before deciding she didn't like the dish. The brunette sitting across from her watched her in horror as she gulped down a glass of water to be rid of the taste.

"I can't believe it! I knew you couldn't be perfect …but I never imagined you could be this monstrous." Nina said, gesturing at her. "I'm sorry," she said, as Alina stood up and walked over to the kitchen counter, laughing to herself, feeling good for the first time that day. "But I can't be with someone who doesn't like waffles."

"That's a deal breaker for you?" she asked, not turning around, staring out the closed window, to the grand view of a blank wall. "Not, I don't know, creating The Fold or being a Drüskelle maybe?"

"Damn right!" She felt how Nina's hand came down to knock on the hard wood of the table. "Those I can forgive, but not liking waffles is just too horrendous."

"See it this way: more for you." she offered, looking down at her hands, wishing their conversation would never end. It was silly, meaningless almost, but in the best way and she wished she could have more of those types of talks.

"But I didn't want it all for myself;" she heard Nina say softly, and a few seconds later Alina saw the shadow of her figure over hers. She turned. "I wanted to share with you."

The Sun Summoner looked away for a moment, taken off guard. Was Nina saying what she thought she was saying?

She tried to think of it coldly: Nina grew up at the Little Palace and she was very popular around; she'd make a great ally.

But Alina couldn't just see it that way without feeling sick. Nina was pretty, smart, funny, nice, and she had been giving her straight signs since the moment they met, unlike some other people.

She looked her in the eyes: green against brown. Like a tree

"We could share something else." she whispered, too caught up taking up in her pretty features to think straight.

Nina closed the gap, taking her face in her hands. Alina closed her eyes as their lips met and danced together, soft against soft.

The Summoner's hand travelled to Nina's waist and she pulled her closer, clutching at the material of her kefta.

Their faces twisted to a side, their tongues danced with each other, and even though Alina couldn't forget about a pair of grey eyes, she clutched her eyes shut tighter and held onto Nina. For she was so lonely, and Nina was here. She had felt nothingness, and Nina made her laugh.

Alina began to pepper her jawline with kisses.

"You really are warm, sun bean." Nina gasped, holding her even closer still.

"You're warmer." she answered between kisses.

She didn't know if she'd regret it in the morning, but after years of pining and awkward, unreciprocated little affections; after months of uncertainty, and a day filled with a dreaded void, Alina let herself get a fill of Nina. This was something that felt good.

It wasn't perfect. It wasn't powerful or all-consuming and it didn't feel righteous, but it was finally something good and nice after so much peril, and she was glad to try and get lost in it.

The Darkling

He watched quietly, from the safety of his shadows, as Miss Zenik easily lifted Alina into the kitchen counter.

The Grand Palace kitchens.

"Truly. So uncouth." he thought.

Alina deserved better than a quick hand here and there on a kitchen; she deserved to be worshipped.

Or maybe she could be worshipped on a kitchen counter, just not by Nina Zenik.

He turned and left them to their activities, none of them aware of his presence.

The tether that bound them together had bought him there to talk to her, to find her…in someone else's arms.

There was no doubt that Alina felt a pull towards him as well, and although he was still struggling to maintain his control around her, that didn't mean he was willing to share in the meantime.

And Miss Zenik had been on leave for too long. Maybe it was time for a new assignment.

Click here for chapter X

#shadow and bone trilogy #alina starkov #the darkling #Darklina #darklinafic #darklina fanfic #nina zenik #genya safin #shadow and bone #grishaverse #shadow & bone #shadow and bone fanfic

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princiere · 4 years

Text

Self Ship Interview

aight so @ultradumpsterwolf invited me to do this so here we go!!

also I know the “keep reading” break doesn’t work half the time, Idk how to fix it, so I’m sorry abt that :( blacklist “long post” if you’d like

Introduce yourselves. Who are you? What do you like to do?

Matthew: “Hi, I’m Matthew. You can call me Matt if you want, I’m fine with either. I like to draw, write, and play video games. I also like to do embroidery!”

Akira: “Hello. I’m Akira Kurusu, leader of the Phantom Thieves. I’m also known as Ren Amamiya. I like to cook and garden, and I also do a bit of woodworking and felting on the side.”

How was your first meeting like?

Matthew: “Ah, well...I first saw him between classes when we were still in school. I’d just transferred there, so I wasn’t aware of the rumors about him, but...either way, I was still too nervous to approach him.”

Matthew: “I guess I wasn’t being very subtle about keeping an eye on him - n-not that I was stalking him or something like that! I was just...really bad about not staring at him when I got the chance.”

Akira: “If it means anything, I consider it a compliment now when he stares at me.”

Matthew: “Shut up.”

Akira: “Anyway, I noticed Matt’s interest in me, but just assumed he must’ve heard the rumors and was probably wondering if they were true. Apparently Ryuji had a problem with him staring, though, and dragged me into practically cornering him into talking. I...still feel bad about that.”

Matthew: “It’s alright, I don’t blame you for that...interesting first meeting. Ryuji was just looking out for you.”

Akira: “As he said, it was just a case of being too shy to introduce himself. I guess Ryuji could tell how lonely Matt was, since they were in the same class, so he started inviting him to hangouts, and everything else took off from there.”

How did you get together? Who confessed first?

(We both blush at the memory.)

Akira: “...Do you wanna tell them?”

Matthew: “Yea, yea, it’s fine, I got this.”

Matthew: “For context, I used to crush on him when we first met, but I lost it after a few months because I figured he was straight.”

Matthew: “Anyway...after we were both out of school, we ended up getting an apartment together back in June last year. We were just friends at the time, but considering all that we did together, everyone thought we were dating way before we actually started to do so.”

Akira: “I’ll admit, that was...mostly my fault.”

Matthew: “I could tell my relationship with Akira was...definitely not just platonic, but I didn’t wanna say anything in case that maybe I was reading the situation wrong. Maybe he just really trusted me enough to do certain things that friends wouldn’t normally do. I didn’t know, but I didn’t judge either.”

(Akira’s blushing worsens.)

Akira: “You never told me you could tell it wasn’t just platonic.”

Matthew: “I didn’t wanna embarrass you, babe! I used to have friends that would do similar stuff, so it wasn’t like this was new to me.”

Matthew: “Anyway, it got to a point back in...early January, I believe, where my feelings about him basically came back in full force. I ended up getting so stressed about it that one night I...kinda had a breakdown? I don’t remember this part very well...”

Akira: “I’ll take it from here, then.”

Akira: “Matt had been extremely on edge lately, so when he clammed up and almost had a panic attack when we got back home after another hangout, I wasn’t too surprised. It wasn’t until he started spouting his confession at damn near the speed of light that everything suddenly made sense. I let him get everything out, and when I told him I felt the same, he almost fainted on me.”

Matthew: “I’m never very good with this sort of thing...”

Akira: “You did the best you could. Aside from nearly panicking and fainting, I thought it was kinda cute. You were so fidgety and red, and you would look at everything but me and-”

Matthew: “That’s enough, next question!”

What are your thoughts on PDA?

Akira: “I’m only okay with smaller gestures. I’ve already had my time of being stared at, so I’d like to avoid that now.”

Matthew: “Same here. I don’t really like to kiss in front of other people, so we’ll usually just hold hands, or we’ll hold the other’s arm if they’re busy with something.”

Akira: “The closest we’ll get in public is when we’re on the train, which is just a given, no matter if we’re dating or not.”

Matthew: “Wait, you don’t wanna tell them about the secret kisses?”

(Akira blushes, frowning.)

Akira: “Does it even count as PDA if I drag you to a secluded spot to do it?”

Matthew: “Heh, I guess not, but I thought it’d at least be worth mentioning~”

Akira: “...Next question, please, before he kills me.”

How do you show your affection towards each other/what are your love languages?

Matthew: “Mostly quality time and physical touch. I’m...still working on being verbally intimate, so I try to show most of my affection physically.”

Akira: “He’s got a thing for my hair. Petting it, burying his face in it, anything. That and hiding in my chest.”

Matthew: “You say that as if I’m ashamed of it.”

Akira: “He also likes to make out a lot.”

Matthew: “As if you don’t enjoy it just as much!”

(Akira laughs.)

Akira: “Mine would also be physical touch, but I also enjoy giving gifts and words of affirmation. Anything that I think Matt would like, I get it for him.”

Matthew: “He knows he can basically kill me when he starts talking sweet.”

Akira: “That’s true, yes.”

Matthew: “I know you also really like acts of service too. When I help in the kitchen, or do little things that I know you wouldn’t be able to get done after work or your Phantom Thief business. You also really like it when I help with any injuries of yours.”

(Akira blushes, but smiles.)

Akira: “...I guess you’re right.”

Who’s more introverted and who’s more extroverted?

Matthew: “Akira’s more extroverted, but not by much.”

Akira: “I can handle strangers longer than Matt, but only by an hour or so. We’re both able to be around friends for a while, and thankfully they’re more understanding when we need to go home to recharge.”

Matthew: “People are exhausting, but...it’s different, with Akira.”

Who’s the big spoon and who’s the little spoon?

Akira: “I’m mostly the big spoon, if Matt can stay in one position in his sleep for more than five minutes, that is. I’m used to it.”

Matthew: “I’m only the big spoon when we’re facing each other for a while. Sometimes I wake up because Akira’s got me in what I call an “octopus hug” with his face buried in my neck.”

(Akira flushes, suddenly wide-eyed.)

Akira: “I thought you always slept through those!”

(Matthew laughs, leaning his head on Akira’s shoulder.)

Matthew: “You always look so comfortable! I’d feel horrible if I ever made you move, especially with how little sleep you tend to get.”

(Akira pouts, but lays his head on Matthew’s regardless.)

What do you like doing together the most?

Matthew: “For the most part, we actually just tend to do our own thing in the presence of the other. I watch videos while Akira does his woodworking, or he plays video games while I embroider. That kind of stuff.”

Akira: “I think the main two things we like to do together though is cooking and shopping. Even if Matt’s not a professional chef, he always wants to help with making dinner, and we always have to stop by a store we didn’t plan on visiting when we go out for groceries. I can’t blame him - some of those thrift stores have the most interesting finds.”

Matthew: “Like that super fat frog plush I found?”

Akira: “Precisely.”

Tell us a fun fact about the other!

Matthew: “Akira always feels like he has to dress up, even if we’re not leaving the house. I think it’s got something to do with that “extra gene” us Virgos have.”

Akira: “Matt will hold onto anything that makes him happy in the slightest. Not to a point that he’s a hoarder, but...let’s just say there’s no such thing as a “theme” in our apartment.”

Tag other selfshippers and their f/os.

I actually don’t like to tag others in case they don’t wanna do it, so to anyone that sees this and wants to try it out, go ahead!

#long post #princely posts #p5 #akira kurusu/ren amamiya #f/o #fictional other #self ship #self shipping #self shipping community #this took so long sorry abt that hfgkhdkjh

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joj-parisol · 5 years

Text

The Monroes (John Lennon x Reader)

Summary: The Monroes are the only female band on the set list. Y/N likes Rory Storm and the Hurricanes and definitely does not like The Quarrymen. Especially not John Lennon. (shit summary I know)

Warnings: Panic attacks and vomiting (sorry) shitty writing bc I didn’t check this oof

A/N: hi sorry if it’s terrible but I’ve been coming back to this fic for about a week save me. Anyway. The panic attack is written through personal experience and I’m very sorry if it offends anyone so please don’t read of you might get triggered. I hope everyone who reads this enjoys! Imma go ahead and tag one of the best writers on this cursed site, the lovely @casafrass also that anon lol. -🥦

Get ready for some Teddy Boy John, bitches.

—————

The music courses through her veins every night. It became ritual that she would blast her solos. She had put her blood, sweat and tears into the songs they performed and Eliza put her heart and soul into singing them.

The rhythm of their own songs guided Y/N’s hips, accidentally thrusting her guitar towards the audience, earning a roar of delight. The audience was packed in every direction she looked. People were curved into archways and crowded every doorway or other persons lap. Some stood, resembling sardines in the way they were packed in with each other. They were unable to dance but they tapped their feet or swayed to the beat. It was the same every night.

Nobody could resist The Monroes. They, like their namesake, were each irresistibly beautiful. This made them exceptionally popular with their male audience. Their music was like a spell, enchanting anyone who heard it to hum, dance or sing. People were captivated by the girls, with their camp and flamboyant stage presence paired with their raunchy costumes. They were the only all-Female band and it made them popular among the younger generation of early feminists and the men who liked their ‘appeal’.

They had a friendly competition put in place with Rory Storm and his Hurricanes. They rivalled in their shock-value and Y/N once made a deal with Ringo to see who could get the most dates. Y/N has since refused to answer who won. Rory and Eliza took the competition a little too seriously. Everyday, a costume would be more dramatic or ‘dazzling’ or a new song would feature a longer high note. They had to one-up each other.

This rivalry grew tension and one night after a few complimentary drinks, Rory and Eliza stumbled out of the bar, eagerto rip the costumes off of the other. They both denied the accusations but The Monroes were staying in an old strip club and thin walls reveal all.

Though they tried, none of the Hurricanes could woo any other Monroes. Y/N loved Ringo and it was returned, in nothing more than a platonic way. The other two Monroes weren’t inclined to any Hurricane, platonically or romantically. Lucy, the drummer, only cared for the music, strippers and free booze and the bassist, Shirley, had her eyes on one of the Quarrymen.

Out of everyone in the world, she liked one of the awful, cocky assholes who played before The Monroes did. Every time they clunked off of stage, clad in leather, Y/N always felt the urge to throw something. But it was specifically John Lennon. He would stomp over in his flame patterned cowboy boots with a smug grin painted on his face.

“Try and beat that, sugar.” He would smirk at Y/N. Always her, never one of the others. He would often try to brush the hair from her face but with a sharp turn, Y/N would strut past him. He would whistle as she walked, grovelling on about how perfect her ass was. He would then slither his way over to her later that night when she’d be drinking her wages.

Y/N would chew up his lewd comments and spit them straight back in his face. Her quick wit and sharp tongue only enticed him further, much to her dismay.

Like every other day, The Quarrymen finished droning out a song about ‘Spiting all the danger’ or something, Y/N wasn’t really listening, and John sauntered off stage. His band mates poured backstage after him.

Y/N knew Paul, he was quite charming and had his eyes set on every girl that looked into his. Then there was Stu, a rather handsome man who seemed quite shy as she hadn’t ever seen him talk to anyone outside of The Quarrymen. George was the loveliest out of all five of them, he smiled at each of the girls and complimented Y/N on her solos. He shyly offered to but them drinks but he would then get bombarded with beers for being so cute. He was young and polite, with one hell of a talent for guitar. Y/N didn’t really know Pete. She just knew that once he had made fun of Lucy’s drumming talent and had received a black eye because of it.

They were headed for the bar after coming off os the stage, but when John trailed towards The Monroes, they all followed like obedient dogs. Eliza was mid way through her nightly pep-talk.

“And no matter what, I know we’ll all smash it-“

“I hear the shows aren’t the only thing you’re smashing, eh Liza? How is Rory by the way?” John interrupted, earning sniggers from his leather-clad cronies. Eliza flushed and spluttered, looking for the words that weren’t forming on her tongue. Her embarrassmentade the boys laugh harder.

“Just because Eliza is getting to shag Rory and you aren’t doesn’t mean you have to get jealous, Lennon.” Y/N spat, stepping infront of Eliza protectively and squaring up to the much taller man. The boys were stunned into abrupt silence. Y/n caught the small snort that left George. John raised his eyebrows at her.

“You’ve got me real scared, sugar, but if you keep lookin at me like that you’ll get me all worked up.”

Y/N scowled up at him and scoffed. “In your dreams, Lennon.” His dumb cowboy boots definitely added to his height. Her furrowed brows and folded arms made his grin stretch further across his face.

“Trust me, you’re in my dreams all right.” His hazel eyes gleamed with excitement. Y/N opened her mouth to snap back at him but Eliza caught her arm.

“C’mon, there’s no point talking to swine when we could be on stage instead.” Eliza glared at John and pulled Y/N away from him. She held her head up as Eliza led her away from the insufferable man.

Y/N found her guitar and checked to see if it was in tune. He didn’t have the right to say that to her. He deserved a smack in the face for even having the nerve to say that to her. He might be all high and mighty with his friends but he was actually just a big asshole who-

“Hey, Y/N, you might wanna stop before you break a string.” A familiar voice snapped her out of her thoughts. George stood in front of her smiling.

“Oh. Yeah, thanks.” The side glances she was receiving made Y/N realised she had been taking her anger out on her poor guitar.

George hesitated for a second, awkwardly crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m sorry about John, love, he’s always that much of an asshole.” He apologised for John and despite his attempts it made Y/N’s blood boil even more. But George’s hopeful smile melted her heart. She cracked a smile and nudged his shoulder.

“Who you calling love?” Y/N teased, raising her eyebrows accusingly. A light blush rose in George’s cheeks as he fumbled to apologise. A laugh fell from her mouth.

“I’m only playing, love.” Y/N winked at the blushing boy. “Unfortunately I had to be on stage four minutes ago, so I better go.”

“Oh, yeah. Well, the crowds pretty rough today so good luck, Y/N!” George called as she walked up the stairs to the stage.

“Thanks, love.” She shouted back to him, smiling as she heard his cowboy boots click as he ran off.

Y/N joined the rest of the band on stage.

“I’m glad you could join us, your highness.” Lucy called from behind the drums, getting flipped off in return. Y/N plugged in her amp and nodded at Eliza to begin singing.

Just like yesterday and everyday before that, their music worked like a charm over their audience. This usually seemed like a blessing but today it was more of a curse. George was right. The pubs were always crowded and rowdy but this was on a whole other level. This was more than claustrophobic. The amount of people was alarming.

People who didn’t have room to dance, danced. Person after person swept through the door. A sweltering heat encased everyone it could. It was strangling everyone it could.

The lights, the body count, the lack of space and windows. Not even Y/N’s short skirt and low-cut top could save her.

Much to The Monroes’ pleasure, they had a shorter setlist that night. But as the songs got faster and faster, everything rocketed down hill. The loud, rough song with a great deal of shouting and a great rhythm took control of the blundering audience. It was as if the melody had possessed them.

Bodies moved against each other and limbs were thrown around raucously. The chaos was amplified as a fight broke out. In the smoggy room, Y/N couldn’t see the cause of the commotion but the rickety stage shook at the amount of sudden movement. The excited shouts and shrieks drowned out their music.

Y/N couldn’t even hear Eliza, though she was a few steps away. The sudden smashing of glass seemed like an alarm that sent her heart racing. The shock triggered something in her before she could control it. The sudden noise made her jump, causing her guitar to fall from her hand. She tried desperately to control her breathing and play again but her sweat-slicked hands shook enough for the neck to slip from her grip. The cigarette smoke hanging in the air seemed to choke her. Her rapid breathing made her lungs burn as she inhaled more and more in an attempt to calm down.

She was unsure if she was pulled or if she had fallen of the stage but the sea of moving bodies soon swallowed her. Her arms felt useless as she clamoured away from the crowd that she was drowning in. Her guitar was pulled away from her but her fighting was useless as she screams were swallowed by the deafening noise. Waves of nausea hit her as pungent breath and beer stink were thrust upon her. Her mind felt detached from her body as she weaves her way through the people. Elbows jolted into her ribs and people stood on her feet. Falling out of the backstage door, her trembling knees gave out and she threw up.

The cold air pierced her face, like tiny razor sharp needles pressing through her skin. Sweat poured down her face like a river. The numbing cold pavement pressed into her hands and knees, the pins and needles battling for dominance over the cold. Her body lurched until all she could do was spit and cough, dry heaving occasionally as vomit burned her throat and her nose streamed. Shuddering, she crawled on her shaky limbs to as far away from her vomit as she could get.

Holding her knees, she wiped the few tears that had fallen from her cheeks. The taste stayed on her tongue and made her wince whenever she swallowed on her dry sobs. She was too tired to actually cry, but her body seemed to be happy hiccuping and choking. Her breath would catch in her throat, the taste bubbling up her throat again and she then had to resist the burning urge to break down and cry. She may have broken down and vomited in public but that didn’t mean she couldn’t keep at least a shred of dignity. She most definitely would not cry, no matter what her mind begged her to do. The only sound was the little spluttering chokes and sobs she released.

Until there was a sudden scuffle against the pavement and a harsh whisper of “Oh Fuck.”. Y/N’s head snapped up from her knees.

There was John Lennon, looking like a very disturbed deer caught in the headlights. One of his hands was on the door, which he had fallen into thus revealing his presence, and the other cradled a half drunken beer. There was a cigarette butted out against the floor opposite Y/N.

A wide-eyed grimace painted his face as he stood in silence. His eyes were connected with hers. She had makeup, sweat and snot smeared on her face. She looked so small and cold, sweaty and shivering despite her burning skin. The sheer look of absolute repulse on his face was what made her brain snap.

The loud, strained sobs interrupted with her shallow gasps for breath made John wince. He was frozen by the door, as if he was rooted to the very spot. He dropped the door handle. The soft thunk was barely audible over her sobs.

She willed more than anything for him to leave. He had no doubt seen her throw up all over the road and had heard her sporadic attempt at breathing. He would never let her live this down so she mentally begged him to just open the door without another glance and go tell Paul and Pete everything that had just happened. She didn’t need any mocking sympathy from him. Why couldn’t he just laugh and leave? Why of all people did he have to be outside having a smoke?

Her mental begging didn’t work. John hovered by the door for a few moments. He didn’t know what to do. He’d seen girls cry before, but never such a strong one like Y/N. She was usually so sharp and cold and independent. It pained something deep inside of him to see her so vulnerable.

Her sobs hit him especially. On once in his life, John Lennon didn’t know what to do or say. He decided that the only thing he knew would be better than anything. He shuffled over, hesitating before sitting in front of her. The sheer pain on her face he caught as her head lifted ever so slightly made his heat clench. He wasn’t used to this and was quite confused as to why he cared so much. Normally, he would have just opened the door and left, but seeing her so broken wasn’t something he could ignore.

“Fuck off John.” She choked out, straining her voice. John couldn’t help but smile. Of course you would still defend yourself, even in this state.

“I’m afraid I won’t.” He doesn’t want to leave. Even if you leave, he’d refuse to let you be alone until he knew you were ok.

Words form on his tongue but none of them seem right. A few minutes of silence had passed and John knew he had to speak. His eyes burning holes into the side of her head probably wasn’t helping. He quickly spat out the first sentence he thought of.

“What happened to you?” As soon as the words left his mouth he regretted them. She looked at him, dark eyes narrowed.

“Why do you care?” She spat at him, curling into herself even more.

“I care because whilst you may hate me, nobody deserves to be alone when they’re distressed. Especially not you.” He paused for a moment. He was shocked by the sentiment that had fallen from his lips. Her eyes widened in shock for a moment but she rolled them obviously.

“You are not getting in my pants, Lennon. No matter how many cheesy sympathy lines you drop.” Y/N sniffed and snatched the beer from in front of him. She swished out her mouth and spat it out through her teeth. She shoved the beer back in his hand and raised her eyebrows, gesturing to the door. “Just go on and get some other bird to shag. I bet you’ll have no problem finding one.”

Despite her stubbornness, John refused to give in. There was something seriously the matter. Despite his other attitudes, he couldn’t let this slide. So he awkwardly just stared her dead in the eye and shook his head as she continued to gesture to the door.

“You’re right. I would have no problem getting a shag tonight. But leaving you here isn’t right, no matter how long it takes. I’m going to sit here until you tell me what’s wrong and how to help. Even if I die trying.”

She snorted at his attempt to lighten the mood and let a small smile creep onto her face. He grinned at her smile. It made Y/N realise that maybe he wasn’t as much of a pig as she’d thought.

“Can’t have you dying, Lennon. Your replacement would no doubt be much worse.” Her voice was hoarse and weak but her light joke was like music to his ears. “And I really can’t tell you what happened to me.” John frowned. “I can’t tell you because I don’t even know what happened. I just get these things sometimes. It feels like I’ve lost control of everything and sometimes it feels like I’m about to die. Like just before.” Her voice broke and her face dropped, her own words upsetting her. Tears pooled in her eyes. The sudden change of mood forced John to make an irrational decision. He shot forward before she could encase herself in her own arms again. His arms held her tight. He knew that despite how awkward everything would be later, this was the right thing to do.

He rocked her against him. Tears streamed down her cheeks uncontrollably and John brushed them away softly. He rubbed circles into her back, hoping it would soothe her sobs. He relaxed and knew he was helping when he felt her sink and cuddle closer into his chest. Her arms went under his jacket and she breathed in the oddly comforting scent of John.

“It’s alright, love, just relax.” John muttered, holding her closer. She sniveled and rested her head just above his heart. The soft thumps timed with the rise and fall of his chest lulled her tears into drying. He continued to rub circles into her back and he began to hum one of his songs. She recognised the tune. It was ‘In Spite of All the Danger’. Y/N closed her eyes. She decided she’d listen this time.

#john lennon #x reader #tw: vomit #tw: panic attack #the beatles #the quarrymen #the beatles x reader #john lennon x reader #rory storm and the hurricanes #angst

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