#are the only good ones

[greykolla-art]

My blog has become infested with angst goblins, and they must be fed with some hypothetical scenarios!🙏💚

#grey art #fan art #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel #Hazbin hotel comic #JESUS WEPT THIS FUCKING THING WAS A BEAST #BUT I LOVE IT! #hazbin charlie #hazbin alastor #Alastor #charlie morningstar #angst #hurt/comfort #whump art #I know what you people are I’m one of you! #I heard your cries for more angst and I aim to please! #also good excuse to use clip studio more #I only bust that out for something special #now let’s do something else! like eat!

[mag200]

one thing about orpheus and eurydice is you guys are all like “i’m different i wouldnt turn to look at her” because you are all familiar with the story of orpheus and eurydice. but orpheus wasnt familiar with the story because he was in it lol.

#anyway. its only really good bc its a tragedy. doomed by the narrative etc. he has to turn around theres no other end. #greek mythology #sorry. this ones in post jail now.

[amalgamezz]

ALT

#aromantic #actually aromantic #aro #aro pride #love loses #good job everyone. im so proud of us <2 #edit (12/31): also pls do not quote 'not all loves are romantic/sexual' at me #1. aros have always been the first to dissect the definition of love. we are likely to know that before you. #2. are we gonna keep pretending that aros aint only an afterthought to the 'love wins' and 'love is love' crowds. #3. im loveless aro. i do not care for love whether its romantic platonic or familial etc etc. #one can do good w love. one can also do evil w love. love =/= morals. stop acting like it is.

[shoomlah]

Everyone saw Crowley dressed up as Nanny Ashtoreth and wondered what she'd look like as a mid-century pinup, right, all of us, not just me 😬

#good omens #gomens #crowley #femme crowley #Nanny Ashtoreth #feeding the presumably VORACIOUS Nanny Ashtoreth fandom as one does #apologies for the tonal whiplash with my gomens fanart but the sketch for this was sitting in my Photoshop file for the kiss sequence #I could only ignore her for so long

[inkskinned]

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

#warm up #this isn't good #writeblr #this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3 #but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker #and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS #the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!? #..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much. #on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt #and medical debt #i will put that first little bit of cash #into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments) #i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option #but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver #oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs

[hansoeii]

stuck in the rain.

#I can't stop drawing them under the rain #they're on their way back home to the bookshop after a nice date at the ritz #and oh no it suddenly started raining and they only have one umbrella #how unfortunate #btw i made this the perfect size for a lockscreen on purpose #go ahead and use it if you like!! #i love drawing them so much #head empty no thoughts just good omens #thank you neil gaiman #good omens #good omens fanart #good omens 2 #good omens 2 fanart #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow fanart #my art #digital art #david tennant #michael sheen #neil gaiman

[circuscountdowns]

many centuries down the line they can manage to have a civil enough family game night.

#cult of the lamb #narilamb #Leshy carved losers corner above lambs bed many games ago and they think it’s too funny to fix #Anyway lamb does eventually marry narinder but after a good while of tormenting him on who to choose for marriage #I think at one point narinder starts dragging suitors into the battle pit #And says only someone who can beat him is good enough for lamb yayyy #This comic came out pretty clumsy but I’m just glad it’s done #cotl art

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Thistle Debut Day!

#dungeon meshi #Thistle #Old dungeon meshi fans remember the days when it was ambiguous what gender Thistle was. #Now we know Thistle uses he/him pronouns but in my heart Thistle is still non-binary. Clowngender elf with poor coping skills. #I hope the anime-only watchers know that this is a character to keep an eye on. #Love (in it's many forms) and desire (in it's many forms) is the main course of Dungeon Meshi and THIS silly jester? #My goodness. What a perfect encapsulation of how one can hurt other's so deeply in the name of love. #The actions we take to 'protect' other's is often the route to doing the most harm. #Love is letting go. Sometimes that means control and sometimes that means saying farewell forever to someone.

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[egophiliac]

couple more of the pokemon crossover! Mightyena for Ruggie (someone suggested a shiny because of the colors, which I did originally do...but I ended up liking the look of the darker colors with him better? all the browns were like...TOO much somehow) and Rockruff + Maractus for Jack (ultimately went with Maractus over Cacnea because I feel like it's a more decorative plant-type cactus, but I also kind of want Jack to just have a very round pokemon. the decisions -- the decisions are just too hard sometimes 😭)

#art #twisted wonderland #pokemon #'i'm only doing one or two per character because that'll make it easier :)' #whoops now it's impossible to narrow it down #good job me #(rockruff becomes a midday lycanroc) #poketwst

[ghoulbats]

well….it finally happened

#rip rt #the good times were certainly good <3 #rt #roosterteeth #rooster teeth #honestly this is how i’m finding out it was officialy rooster teeth and not one word #if anyone doesn’t read the article but reads my tags (??) it looks like only the podcasts are carrying on for the time being #they’re shopping around rwby and shows like that and the roost which is the podcast side of things but otherwise #also apparently there’ll be a stream on the rt site tomorrow talking about it if anyone is interested #idk this sucks #be good to the people who were still there they deserve it #warner media on the other hand…..rot <3

[artofalassa]

I'm drifting off to nowhere The past, an echo on my mind Home, I'm almost home...

#zakkura #zack fair #cloud strife #final fantasy vii #ffvii #clack #las!art #i got to draw and finish one piece in one evening #and it felt great #and i didn't care what it would look like or when it was done #loved it #drawing for myself only from time to time feels good #miss my bois! SO. MUCH.

[pinkravat-art]

Posting another. My last breath before I'm sent to purgatory(school)

#good omens #good omens fanart #my posts #i actually had spent 5 hours on a more realistic style for this one only to decide i dont vibe with it and remake it in 2 #im defrosting my graphic design skills #good omens art #ineffable husbands #ineffable spouses #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #drawing #illustration #art #digital art #character art #sketch #digital illustration #artists on tumblr #artwork

[theminecraftbee]

also btw, for the new hermitcraft fans who haven’t been around for the turn of one season to another before: get excited! I cannot overstate how much the creative energy is entirely reinvigorated and how FUN watching the “brand new server” episodes are when they first come out like START OF SEASON TIME IS SOME OF THE BEST HERMITCRAFT TIME. get hyped for that!!!!

#hermitcraft #to be clear: you can be sad season 10 is over this is not me saying don’t be that #this is me saying BUT THERE ARE MANY GREAT THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO SOON #DONT BE ONLY SAD. THE END OF ONE THING IS THE START OF ANOTHER ONE! #it’s like a forest fire. you’ve gotta burn the old to get some good new growth.

[i-like-to-look-at-your-back]

Sleeping off

#wolfstar #harry potter #the marauders #padfoot #remus lupin #adelaida art #finally finished! after over 9 months! it's my baby now #I've started it with a totally different mood in mind - bc my mood was at a bottom of a very big hole then #but time passed things changed and here we are with a more tough night but only one shoulder hurt and it's early morning and quite pretty #and we can sleep off the night and it's all good #madame pompfrey will fix those scratches in 15 seconds or less so i call it a win