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#because its not your fault dear!!! you are amazing just the way you are and you don't need to have sex to be loved!!!
lyxchen · 24 days
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Ca$h baby, my most beloved asexual darling boy I love you so much, you don't even know, I want to hug you so so much and make it so that nothing bad ever happens to you, I love you and you are valid and I love you and I love you my darling dearest asexual boy <333
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knyontop · 6 months
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₊˚ ‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿ ˚₊
Siblings.
Type: fluff, with a sprinkle of angst.
Ben drowned x little sibling reader
Platonic obviously.
Ft. Ben drowned, Masky, Hoodie, Jeff the killer, and our beautiful, handsome, amazing, Reader.
Ben was right now screaming his head off in his room because his teammates are very horrible at the game. You right now are trying to sleep, you get up and bang on the door. “Come in!” You burst in. “Can you please shut up?” You said annoyed and tired. “Its not my fault that these people are so horrible at the game!” He said while not taking his eyes off the screen. “Can you please be quiet! People are trying to sleep!” and by people you meant you. “It’s literally 2PM! Why are you sleeping at this time?” You sighed, “because ben I have a J O B.” He then paused his game and looked at you. “Hey I have a Job to!” You looked at him with tired eyes. “Yea, but you enjoy it, Just because you enjoy it does not mean I do.”
He widened his eyes a little, he looked at his little sibling and just stayed silent. “Yea, so keep it down ya dummy.” He got a little annoyed at that. You left and went back to your room to sleep, Ben was know just going to be more loud.
He Turned the volume up, and started the game again and back to yelling at his stupid teammates. You on the other hand were going crazy. You got up and walked all the way down to his room again. Masky and Hoodie saw you stomping to his room, “Siblings.” Masky said while hoodie nodded. You bursted in the room and said “shut up!” Ben looked at you with a smirk. “Why should I dummy?” You groaned “you are so immature!” Ben scoffed and said “hey! Im the older one!” You did a big sigh and said “okay my dear amazing older brother, can you please be quiet?” You said with an annoyed face and sleepy tone. He grinned “Only because you said it nicely! Now get out.” You sighed in relief and was about to leave when he said in a pouty tone “your not even going to say good night?” You turned around and said “goodnight, there happy?” He smiled “very.” You then walked out.
You were about to turn the nob to your room but you walked back to bens room and said “I love you..” he quickly paused his game a looked at you with wide eyes, he has not heard that word come out of you in a while. “Even though I hate you, your still my brother.” He just then said “I love you to..” you then walked out, when you where gone. He smiled softly. He then got back to his game.
After a few hours he got bored and remembered he had a younger sibling . He got up and went to your room when he opened the door, he was surprised to see you on the floor sleeping with a blanket he got you on your birthday when you guys where a bit younger. Little Y/N was quickly un-wrapping the paper on the box, and saw a BIG green blanket you scoffed and look at ben, “seriously? I big blanket?” He kept his eyes attached to his phone saying “what? Be lucky I got you anything.” You chuckled, secretly you loved it with all your heart but you weren’t going to let him know that.
Ben remembers that day like it was yesterday. He chuckled softly and then cuddled up next to you on the floor wrapping his arms around you in a protective manner, and put his leg over you. Smiling softly ‘I really missed this.’ He thought to himself. then drifted off to sleep. Jeff actually walked in on you guys and snapped a photo he would use this as black mail against you. This was a good night. <3
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I hope you liked it!! Please leave suggestions, requests, anything that could be helpful!! This is my first post!
I hope you all have an amazing day and please take care of yourself, im proud of you all!!💞🫶🏻
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brandonduhaimes · 1 year
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Midnight on the Interstate
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Gif credits to owner
Pairing: Matt boldy x reader
Length: 885 words (sorry its a little short)
Requested: Could you write about Matt Boldy picking the reader up and going on a car ride? The reader is stressed/ on the brisk of a breakdown, and he knows car rides are the only thing to calm her <3
You had been struggling recently, school was driving you up a wall and Matt had been on a long roadie. You had tried to finish your assignment early so you could pick up the house a little bit before he returned but life never goes as planned. You had spent the last forty minutes stuck on the final question on your assignment. As you continued to try and find the right words your wonderful boyfriend walked through the door.
"Baby I'm home!" You hear from the doorway and you smile before remembering once again that the house was a disaster. As you made your way to the front room you were swiftly tackled and dumped onto the couch. On top of your laptop. Matt had obviously not meant to and you weren't hurt but your poor laptop did not survive the weight of two bodies being thrown on top of it.
You pushed Matt off quickly but to know avail as your laptop screen was now shattered into pieces.
Matt quickly noticed and immediately started apologizing. "Im so sorry babe i didn't know it was on the couch i just needed to be close to you." He says as he pulls you onto the opposite side of the couch and into his lap.
"No its my fault the house is a mess because i didn't plan my time well. If i had just done my assignment instead of trying to make it perfect the house would have been clean and my laptop would have been in the bedroom in my backpack." You sigh trying to keep the tears from falling.
Matt wraps his arms around you and hugs you from behind. "It sounds to me like you are way overworking yourself babe. You need to take a break."
"I can't finals are coming up and I can't fail them." You mutter and Matt has heard enough.
"Nope we aren't stressing tonight. Get your shoes on and get in the car please. I'll help you with homework and studying tomorrow." He squeezes your waist one more time before kissing your temple and shooing you to the entry way.
You slip on your shoes and you can't help thinking about how amazing he is. He just got off of a long road trip and was probably looking forward to some sleep but felt that you were more important. You smile to yourself and he grabs the keys off of the table in the entry way.
"Where to dear?" He asks and you cant help but smile at him.
"As long as I'm with you anywhere is perfect." You reply and he grabs your hand almost dragging you to the car.
The two of you get in and he begins to drive. He finds a secluded road with some of the most beautiful houses you have ever seen.
"The morning before our first date I came out here while I was stressed. I had wanted everything to be perfect and nothing was working the way I wanted it to. The place I wanted to take you for dinner didn't have any open reservations and none of the outfits I was trying looked right. Brandon made me leave the house because I was stressing him out too much. Then I found this place and it made me feel like everything would work out."
You weren't really sure why but his little monologue had calmed you a lot.
"Our first date was amazing though," you think back fondly on the night in the small restaurant and dancing in the rain outside.
"It worked out really well for a rainy Friday night so I know that everything is going to work out when it comes to school for you." He replies and you grab his hand.
You and Matt continue driving talking and laughing and belting out the words to your favorite songs. You didn't look at the time until it was nearing one in the morning. "We should probably start heading back towards the house, its already really late."
Matt pulled off to the side before putting in the directions to your house neither of you really knew where you were now. All of the roads had become intertwined through out the drive.
As you pulled back into your shared driveway Matt put the car in park and shut it off before coming around to your side and throwing you over his shoulder. "Matt put me down!" You yell and he laughs loudly.
"No Y/n I don't think I will." He carries you into the house and up the stairs to your bedroom before throwing you nonchalantly onto the bed.
He grabs a pair of your pajamas out of your dresser and one of his shirts out of his. "Go ahead and get ready for bed I'm gonna go grab a snack."
You changed before laying down on the bed and immediately falling asleep. When Matt returned to the upstairs he found you on top of the covers with your hair in your face.
He gently pushed your hair back and pulled the covers over you before gently lowering himself into bed before pulling you into his chest. He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead and whispered "i love you" into your ear before falling asleep as well.
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jinwoosungs · 1 year
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stargazing.
clive rosfield x fem.reader
what's so amazing that keeps us stargazing; and what do we think we might see?
clive had been harboring a deep secret from you, his best friend since childhood, and he wasn't sure if he was able to stay silent for a moment longer.
something about you and your kindness had him captivated at first sight. he recalls your first meeting clearly, as if it had happened yesterday.
clive was ten years old, and he had been playing with his younger brother joshua. they had managed to get away from the prying eyes of their father and wanted the chance to enjoy playing out in the sun with the other children.
he basked in his little brother's joyful cries, finally feeling the freedom of being unchained by any responsibilities. perhaps joshua had become too enamored with the sights and smells that surrounded him, which was what prompted him to let go of his brother's hand.
the panic clive felt was indescribable. his heart kept clenching with pains and guilt of losing his little brother- that if anything tragic were to happen to him, it would be all his fault.
he recalls running then, heart pounding with its anxious beats as he kept calling out to his brother over and over again. the sun was quickly beginning to set, and if he couldn't find joshua, then all was lost.
"c-clive?"
he quickly stiffens before facing the sound of his brother's voice, close to collapsing from the sheer amount of relief he felt when he saw you for the first time.
you looked to be no older than him, with your hair styled up in a messy ponytail. your clothes were a bit tattered here and there, but your smile was as radiant as can be. in your arms, you held a crying joshua, his face red and damp as his emerald eyes were shimmering with tears. with a soft coo of his name, clive listens to you comforting his brother, "see? nothing to worry about dear prince. your brother is right there, i found him just as promised."
recalling his sole duty to protect joshua, clive hardens his gaze and takes joshua out of your arms, earning a tiny frown from you. it's then that he feels joshua cling to him, still softly sobbing as he struggled to catch his breath. did you steal joshua away from him because you knew he was the son of the archduke? were you after some monetary gain after all?
"just as you promised? what do you mean, did you take my brother away from me to win some prize for simply finding him?"
you flinch back at his words, but there was a determination in your gaze. you refuse to back down, standing your ground while meeting his furious gaze with your arms crossed around your chest, "don't be so rude, i could care less about earning any prize. i simply saw a little boy in distress and wanted to keep him safe by helping him find his brother."
"but i know when i'm unwanted, so i'll take my leave." as if wanting to mock clive, you give him a stiff bow before turning away from them.
it's then that joshua finally began to speak up, calling to him while pointing at you, "please don't be mad, big brother. she helped me when i got really scared."
not wanting you to disappear, joshua manages to slide his way out of clive's arms, earning a gasp from him. the moment he chases after his little brother and met your gaze once more did he realize that he may never be the same ever again.
he listens to joshua call out your name with a softness and yearning he had never heard before. perhaps what joshua saw in you was something akin to a maternal love, but he couldn't say for sure.
all he knew was that joshua had grown fond of you, and there was no way clive could avoid such weird, prickly feelings you caused to his heart.
it was by no means a smooth and easygoing friendship, with you and clive often bickering each time joshua wanted to sneak out play with you in the village. the sparse days spent together would slowly morph into weeks, then months, and then years as you all grew up together.
now that clive had become more mature at the ripe age of 15, he was able to put a label on how his heart felt around you. the prickly feeling would sometimes give off to sensations of warmth each time he saw your smile. and the moment you directed your laughter at him, he was struck with a revelation-
he was in love with you.
by now, joshua had grown out of his habit of wanting to sneak out and play with you. he filled his days with reading various books from their personal library to serve as a reprieve from the life he was given. when clive would ask joshua if he wanted to come with him to visit you, joshua would simply give him a soft knowing smile before shaking his head, "no, i wouldn't want to get in the way."
ah, had his little brother known all along? if so, that would be a complete embarrassment to clive-
but he digresses; now, it was finally time to find you and tell you what's been lurking within the confines of his heart.
he waits for the clock to strike at midnight before making his descent from home. he crosses the familiar sights the village has to offer him before reaching a familiar cottage cast in the cozy glow of the candlelight. he was planning on throwing rocks at your window when something in his periphery catches his attention.
the wind was gently blowing against the meadow behind your cottage, and it was here that he sees you resting peacefully against the grass. moonlight had casted your figure in an ethereal glow, and clive found himself captivated by the sight of your light blue dress.
like a moth drawn to a flame, clive feels his footsteps move closer to you, heart already pounding at the mere sight of you. when your form was settled just a few inches away from him does he finally allow himself the pleasure of looking at you closely.
your lips were slightly parted as he felt your warm breath tickling at his skin. feeling mesmerized by you, he frames at your face and brushes back your hair. his soft touches disturbs you from your slumber, and he watches as your eyebrows furrowed in response before slowly awakening.
"clive?" he shivers, practically basking in the way you softly called out to him in that sleepy voice of yours.
clive sees the way your eyes shine beneath the moonlight and smiles down at you, "it's dangerous for a lady like yourself to sleep alone and out in the open like this. what if a monster had come and devoured you?"
you let out a giggle, purposely facing him as you wrapped your arms around his back, bringing him against you in a tight embrace. "i'm not scared, after all, you'll protect me, right?"
your voice was light, joking even, but oh, how clive wanted to tell you there was so much truth in your words-
he would do anything for you.
"you're right, i would protect you." he manages to whisper to you, making you stiffen when you felt him gently press his lips against your cheek.
"clive?" he pulls himself away from your embrace, feeling nervous with his confession becoming choked from within the confines of his throat.
"i- i think i'm in love with you."
there, he had said it, and never had he felt so nervous before in his life. he waits with bated breath for your reply, trying not to feel hurt at your silence and the pure look of shock on your face.
he apologizes, ready to leave you be when your hand manages to stop him, pulling at his wrist so that he could come back to you. when he falls back down on the grass is when he felt you wrap your arms around his back while burying your face within his chest.
"clive, you really are such a dense oaf! couldn't you tell that i am in love with you, too?"
his fears then morphed to happiness upon hearing your confession, "wait, is it true?"
you look at him once more, allowing him to frame at your face as you give you a tearful smile, "yes, i thought i made it obvious with how much i craved to be by your side."
clive lets out a rich chuckle, "joshua, i suppose then he's known all along."
"what does that mean?" you ask him with a cute tilt of your head.
he simply shakes his head, "it's nothing...now, if you'll allow it, i'd like to do something i've been dying to do for a while now..."
with a smile painted on the young lover's faces, they come together beneath the light of the stars, allowing their young love to finally bloom after spending so many years in yearning for one another ♡
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all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.
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camlovesheroes · 2 years
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King of Mischief: Chapter 1 (smut scene)
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Chapter 1 (Feels Good to be King) (smut scene)
Word count: 2.4k
T/w: This chapter contains explicit smut (oral sex; f receiving, fingering, orgasm denial, edging, unprotected sex, creampie) and foul language, read at your own discretion.
“Smart girl..” He approvingly nodded. “Come..”
He held your hands and led you to his king-sized bed, a spacious one that was layered with silk sheets and covers. It even has a bed post that was made from gold. Fit for a king.
Loki sat on the edge of the bed before pulling you to sit on his lap to which you willingly obeyed. He took your hand gently and began kissing your knuckles, down to your palm, your wrist and your forearm. The man swooped your hair away from your face and looked at you suspiciously.
“You are awfully quiet and subservient today. What’s the matter?” You were taken aback by his question but decided to answer him honestly.
“I thought that I should be more obedient and tame for you.. Since you are now a king, I shall do my best to be the perfect queen. One who listens to her husband.” It wasn’t your fault that you were thinking that way. Your whole life in Oralf was spent learning on how to be modest, pleasing and submissive for your future husband. The only reason you weren’t being so pleasant with Loki for the past several months was because you were reluctant to accept the fact that you were married to him, a moronic prankster.
You weren’t so reluctant anymore ever since you and your spouse began to spend more time together. You learnt that he wasn’t so bad after all. Same goes to Loki, at first, he thought of you as an arrogant and controlling woman though that wasn’t the case. You were just feisty and strong-willed just like him.
He furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head. “The last time I checked, I was married to a princess from Oralf, not some sheep from the Asgardian meadows.” You fought the urge to scoff when he compared you to a sheep but you gave him a moment to finish his words.
“I like you because of how you truly are. A fiery, smart and independent queen. You do not have to fit into the oppressive standards that you have been taught, Aurelia.. I’d much prefer a queen that is honest to herself. A queen that would resist and say no to the things that she wouldn’t want to do. Someone who stands up for herself, someone who sticks to her principles.” He ran his index finger over your jaw.
“You already have all those qualities, why change into someone you are not?” He gave you a sincere smile. Loki was right, you didn’t have to change a single thing about yourself, you were already perfect just the way you were.
“You’re right..” You smiled back at him. After a little flash of silence, your husband broke the quietness.
“May I kiss you?” You were surprised, for someone who had a reputation of being menace, he was quite chivalrous. His mother must’ve raised him well.
“Yes.. Yes, you may.” You grinned and Loki didn’t waste any time and immediately crashed his lips on yours, grinning as well.
The kiss you shared felt amazing, it was passionate yet not lust driven, deep but it wasn’t lewd. It felt as if there were surges of electricity coursing through your veins, creating goosebumps all over your skin.
Pulling away, you were giggling like teenagers after sharing their first kiss, that was the first when you saw him with a large grin that wasn’t laced with pride, mischief or any hidden meanings. It was just Loki, smiling happily.
“You really are falling for me aren’t you?” You chuckled and kissed the tip of his nose. 
“I should be asking the same thing to you.” He rested his hands on your waist.
“Mayyybe?” You wiggled your eyebrows playfully. You could really feel the Asgardian mead working its wonders on you now and it was obvious that Loki was the same too.
“Oh you cheeky little princess.” He laid both of you down on the bed, feet hanging off the edge.
“Excuse you, I’m a queen now.” You corrected him.
“Oh my apologies, Your Majesty, my dear Queen.” The two of you lied on your side to face one another.
“You are forgiven, my King.” You chuckled softly.
 Once again, there was a moment of peacefulness between you two, just gazing into each other’s eyes until your hand reached out to touch his bare chest which was peeking out of the dark green robe he was wearing.
“May I?” The male got a hold of the end of the sash that was holding your robe together; indirectly asking you if he could reveal what was underneath the garment.
You lightly nodded, giving him your consent to untie the sash. Carefully, Loki pulled the end of the sash, loosening the robe and revealing a bit of your cleavage and the one piece lace lingerie you were wearing.
“Oh my Norns.. When I thought you couldn’t be any more beautiful than this.” You noticed that he was holding himself back. As much as you wanted everything to be gentle and slow, he was being too careful with his actions.
“Loki, you do not have to be so careful with me. I am not a porcelain doll, I won’t break so easily..” You chuckled.
“So what do you suggest? You want me to go gentle yet you’re saying that I’m being too careful.” He raised his eyebrows in confusion as to what you wanted.
“You’re doing fine.. I just felt that you were holding yourself back and it felt unnatural.” You knelt on the bed and slid off the remainder of the robe. “Just be yourself, I’ll tell you if I do not like it, alright?” You smiled, running your hands over the curves on your body, seducing your husband.
He propped himself up on his elbow, admiring the view in front of him, his eyes following along to where your hands went. You saw his jaw clench for a minute when your hand went down to your slit. Wishing that he’d just take off his robe already so you could see how much his length had grown while watching you caress yourself.
Of course Loki observed how your eyes would sometimes peer at his nether regions, understanding that you were eager to see him as much as he wanted to see you. Taking the cue, he hopped off the bed to take off his robe whilst facing you. His eyes never looked away as he teasingly pulled the ends of his sash and loosening it.
Instead of taking the robe off his body, he walked towards you and began kissing you passionately, cupping your face in his large hands before one of them slithered down to your entrance.
Your body jolted in surprise as his fingers came in contact with your clothed clit, he could feel your juices already soaking the lingerie you were wearing. The man smirked into the kiss and began rubbing it slowly but with enough pressure to start pleasuring you.
“You’re enjoying this a little too much don’t you think?” Loki taunted. “My queen does have a devilish side after all.” He trailed his kisses down to your jaw and neck, loving the sounds you were making.
“Oh shut up.” You mumbled amidst all the bliss.
“Get on the bed, darling. Spread your legs for me.” He ordered, to which you followed.
You crawled on the bed, purposely swaying your hips as you made your way to the pillows. Loki grew harder at the sight of your firm behind, all he wanted to do was to pounce on you.
Lying on the pillows, you teasingly spread your legs as he followed suit, crawling towards you like a predator eyeing its prey. His robe was already gone and you could see his muscles flexing every time he moved. 
“Don’t mind if I do, kitten..” He circled his arms around your hips and pulled you closer, your knees resting on his shoulders and his face facing your wetness.
He hummed deeply, nudging your clit with his nose, the contact made you jump. “You are soaked already. I’ve barely even started with you yet.” He snickered before tearing the lingerie you were wearing, the material was fairly thin and made from lace so it wasn’t quite hard for the male to shred it.
Once you were bare to him, he cursed under his breath. “Fuck.. You are so beautiful.”
He stared at your tight little entrance, seeing it pulsate and drool; waiting for him to devour it already.
Without a warning, Loki dove down and began lapping up your dripping essence. Groaning and growling while staring back at you. You were a moaning mess, hands flailing and toes curling. Your head spun in euphoria as your husband ate you out while his thumb was flicking your clit.
You were on the edge already and your hand flew to his black locks, holding on to them as you were desperate for a release but to no avail, he had denied your orgasm.
“Loki! That was uncalled for..” You whined in frustration after your ruined orgasm. It amused the God.
“Shh.. Not yet, things get better when you wait.” He smirked. “Come here..”
He slid up and pulled you into a tender kiss. As soon as he got you distracted, his naughty hand went down to finger you, you pulled away to moan.
“Nuh uh, come back to me.” He turned your head back to him and began kissing you passionately, all while his fingers were still inside of you. One finger, two fingers, three fingers.
He did a ‘come hither’ motion while fingering you, which made you go crazy and made you grind yourself on his hand. Your abs were convulsing, signaling him that you were close once more. And again, he pulled his fingers out immediately. You wanted to scream and shout, how long will this go on for?
“Oh my Norns, Loki! Stop it! Please let me cum.” You begged him.
He only chuckled at how disheveled you looked, your crazed eyes; desperate to cum, your body covered in a layer of sweat and your chest heaving with aphrodisia. He was enjoying how you yearn for him, to have him make love to you.
“Don’t worry doll.. I’ll let you have it soon enough.” He lied down on the bed, calling you to lay on him. He rubbed your back to calm you down a bit and he kissed the top of your head.
“You’ve been such a sweet darling for me, Aurelia. You want to cum?” He asked quietly while running his fingers through your hair. “Mhm.” You nodded while slightly pouting, you were tired from the denials he had given you.
“Turn around on all fours, I’ll pleasure you until you can’t take anymore.” He whispered with a sly smile.
You abided by his orders and went on all fours, your head facing the headboard.
“No no. Turn the other way around.” He ordered. You were puzzled as to why he wanted your position to be a specific way but it turned out to be because he had conjured a mirror right at the bottom of the bed. You see your fucked out reflection and Loki going behind you in the mirror.
“I want to see your face while I pleasure you. All your adorable expressions. Keep your head up, got it?” He kissed your shoulder down to your spine.
“Yes my King.” Hearing that name come out of your mouth made his dick twitch. He couldn’t wait any longer, he needed to be inside of you.
Loki spat on your bare entrance and rubbed his shaft up and down the slit before penetrating you. He groaned and you moaned, seeing his pleasured look in the mirror turned you on even more. He looked absolutely exquisite.
His hands held onto your hips as he began to move in and out of your tight cavern. “Goodness you are so tight, Aurelia” The male began to speed up his motions and your desire to the cum built up again in the pit of your stomach.
Dropping your head in pleasure, Loki noticed what you had done and shook his head. He knew that you were about to cum and he was getting close too.
Pulling you up while he was still inside of you, he hugged your torso while his other arm was circled around your shoulders to hold you in place.
“Look at us darling.. Look at how beguiling you are, you take me in so well.” He whispered in your ear with a smirk.
“Fuck, Loki~” You whimpered and moaned, the position you two were in had provided a new angle for him to hit you inside and it felt amazing.
“Hold it in baby, don’t cum just yet. I’m getting close too.” His speed was erratic and you were literally in tears because of how good it felt. Your mind was hazy and you tried your best to hold it in for him until both of you exploded together.
Loki slowly laid you flat onto the mattress, he helped you two ride out the high, his pace slowly coming to a halt before he pulled out. Once he regained his composure, he guided you to lie properly on the pillows again. He had sent the mirror away and conjured a cloth to wipe and clean his seed off of you. He’d even placed a towel underneath you just in case you'll make a mess in the morning. 
You were already so tired and unable to function after your orgasm but you managed to thank your husband for the aftercare. 
“No worries my dear.. Go to sleep, you must be drained.” He lied next to you, pulling the covers over both of your naked bodies, pulling you in to embrace you while you’re asleep.
It is safe to say that that precise night was when your love story began to bloom and the story of your mighty reign began though something colossally horrible was about to destroy your monarchy, Asgard and the multiverse. Trouble is brewing.
Chapter 2
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obxsprincess · 1 month
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[TW- Fighting and arguing i gues]
So i am 18 and still live with my parents and it's a pain sometimes because my mother screamed at me and even made me cry just because I wanted to go out for ice cream alone with my cousin and didn't want to take my sister that is 4 years younger then us with me. According to her I have am crazy and according to my father I'm psycho and need help I genuinly feel like they love her more then me and when i tolld them this she only yelld more at me and calld me selfish And my mom has been trying to guilt Trip me into taking her with us for 4 days now and today when i gave in she just fucking yelld at me like how can i make her happy?! Can i even make her happy?! I just don't understand why she Shows me so much love sometimes and the next second Acts like she hates me it hurts so much And i really just want to make her proud because i feel like i have to earn her love you know and i swear i am trying so hard and when i tell her i need a break or that i am tired she just tells me that she does way more then i do and that i don't have any reasons to be tired or Burnd out.
Sorry for the little dump i just didn't know who to tell this and i needed to get it of my chest i don't expect an answer by the way and i am sorry for taking away your time
first and foremost you are completely valid for not wanting to bring your little sister bby!!! I have a younger sister and tho I love her to the moon and back, its more babysitting than anything, which is just hard to commit to a lot of the times — and it was your time with your cousin so 100% your call to make!! im always worried I come off as selfish but I hope its comforting to know I truly understand how fucked up conditional love is, and your so so fucking strong for pushing through my love 💞💗 in my experience I was always convinced it was my fault. when I fit his mold/or complied to how I was treated instead of standing up for myself I was adored, but that at any moment it could be taken away and flipped right infront of my face, it’s truly so mentally exhausting and from parents nonetheless, we deserve better (for me it was my dad) but ever since moving out I’ve realized how wrong it is, and bby love isn’t earned <3 a parents duty is to give love unconditionally always, and if she doesn’t fill her role that is NEVER your fault, no matter how much she may make you feel like it’s your job to ‘gain’ her approval or acceptance its not — shes your mother and in such her duty to love your without limits, never blame yourself beautiful for her under comings. despite how she treats or what she ever tells you, bby you are enough and always have been. and you are so loved, if not always by her (sometimes parents just don’t express love in the right ways too, this dosent make your hurt any less valid though <3) by your little sister that looks up to your every day for pushing through — by the person who dosent say it but your the reason THEIR pushing through, whether its your closest friend or a distant mutual that admires your strength from afar <3 I just wish someone would have told me that love isn’t earned, and your doing amazing my love i know how truly fucking hard it is, you deserve the world NEVER ever say sorry for coming in my inbox to just let go for a few minutes dear, I can relate so much to your struggle and I hate how often being treated like this is downplayed. im just a collage girl on the internet but I’m always here to listen 💗
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Text
Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Shin [BRUTE ENDING]
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???: ...up...
Wake...up... ーー Wake up, Yui!
Yui: ( Nn...This voice... )
ー Yui wakes up in the park
Yui: Shin-kun...
Shin: Aah...You finally regained consciousness. 
Yui: I...passed out? Where are we...?
Shin: The human world. We’ve fled here.
You suddenly fainted along the way, which really gave me a scare. 
Yui: I-I’m sorry. I must have been kind of drained...
Shin: Nah...It’s fine. The Demon World was never a place for humans in the first place.
I’m sure it must have taken its toll on your health?
Yui: I guess so...?
Shin: It’s your own fault for pushing yourself to chase after me...
Yui: M-My bad. But...Still...
( Oh no, I’m tearing up... )
I’m so glad I was able to find you...Truly. 
Shin: Yui...
Yui: Shin-kun, let’s go back together? To Carla-san. 
Shin: ...
Yui: I’m sure he had a reason for everything he did. So let’s try and have a proper heart-to-heart with him. 
I’m sure the two of you will be able to talk it out. 
Isn’t that what you truly want deep down as well? 
Shin: ...I...
No...That’s what I want as weーー
???: It does not matter whether you do or not. The two of you can no longer change the fate of the residents of the Dark.
Yui: ( W-Whose voice is this...!? )
ー Everything fades to black
*PANG*
Shin: ...! Y-You are...!!
*Flap flap flap*
Monologue
ーー Where am I? 
Who am I? 
Why did I forget everything? 
Perhaps none of it ever mattered,
if in the end, 
I just forgot about it anyway? 
Although the desire to deny said statement,
wells up inside of me.
I do not know why. 
All I know is...That I am incredibly thirsty. 
ー The scene shifts to Karlheinz’ pharmaceutical facility
Shin: Nn...Hah...Nn...Phew...Haah...
Human woman: Ah...Aah...!!
Shin: ( Pipe down...Shut up! Silence! )
( Let me suck your blood. More, I need more...!! )
Nn...Haah...Nn...
Human woman: Uu...Aah...
Shin: ( Delicious...Blood is amazing...I want to drink it. I need more blood...! )
Haah...
Human woman: ...
Shin: Che...
*Thud*
Karlheinz: ...It is rather heartless of you to throw a lady off to the side like that. 
ー Karlheinz walks up to him
Shin: Karlheinz...!
You...What have you done to me!? 
Karlheinz: ...Oh dear? It appears that you still know who I am. 
Shin: Of course...I will never be able to forget that ugly face of yours...!
Karlheinz: I see. I suppose that you can only see the unsightly in everything right now? Hehe...
Shin: What’s so funny...!? 
Karlheinz: Oh no, nothing? 
...Right, I almost forgot. I will have you help me out in my personal research. 
That is why I had you come over here. 
Shin: Research...You say?
Karlheinz: Exactly. In my ‘Apple of Eden’ project. 
Shin: ...What the fuck is that...? Don’t just decide that on your own!
Karlheinz: Fufu, I would like to say the exact same thing to you. 
After all, that lady over there...She will pass away in a few more minutes since you sucked her dry of her blood. 
ーー All because of you.
You continued to feed off her, against her own will. 
Shin: Not my problem! I can suck as much human blood as I want!
Karlheinz: ...Fufu, is that so? I figured you would say that.
Please do not forget about those words. 
ー He walks away again
Shin: Wait! ...Ah...!
( Fuck...My head is killing me...Blood...It’s because I need more blood! )
Human woman: ...Uu...Ah...
Shin: ...Oh? ...You’re still alive, huh...?
Human woman: ...Shi...un...
...Don’t...
Shin: ( ...Huh...? )
Human woman: ...Don’t...cry...
...
Shin: ( Heh. Guess she died... )
( What did she say? ...’Don’t cry’? (1) ) 
( What a fool. Crying, who? Bullshit. Guess she was hallucinating during her final moments? )
( ...Oh well, it doesn’t matter. More importantly... )
...Hey, you...I think I can get a little more blood out of you...
( I can’t believe I’m about to drink blood from a corpse... )
( But still...I’m so thirsty... )
( I have no other choice...!! )
Nn...Haah...
( ...It’s still warm... )
Shin: Nn...Haah...
Nnh...Nn...
( Aah...I feel as if the more I drink, the worse this thirst gets. )
Phew...Nn...
( Aah, it’s delicious...What makes it so good...? )
Human woman: ーーー
Shin: ( ...Guess she has kicked the bucket after all. Of course she’s dead, I’m the one who killed her. )
...
...
( Anyway...I just don’t get it... )
( ...”Don’t cry”...? Why would she say that to her own murderer? )
( It makes no sense for something to come from a human on the brink of death. )
Human woman: ーーー 
Shin: ( Do the two of us...Know each other from somewhere...? )
...
...Aah...
ー Shin finally recognizes Yui
Yui: ーーー 
Shin: ...Aah...aah...
Why...?
Yui: ーーー 
Shin: Why? Why...!? No, I...I...
killed...
Aah...Aaaaaaaah!!!
ーー THE END ーー
Translation notes
(1) In the Japanese dialogue, the sentence is repeated twice. The first time, it’s written with just hiragana, while the second time, it is written with the kanji for ‘to cry’. 
Japanese has a lot of homophones, so he needed a couple of seconds to process what exactly she was trying to say. In English it makes less sense to repeat the same sentence twice since the meaning should be clear, hence why I slightly adapted my traslation. 
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iratusmus · 11 months
Note
😳🫡
*cue Katy Perry LOL*
😳 Hottest Sonic Take?
ok definitely not my hottest sonic take but some things are best left unsaid. regardless uhhh one of them . at least in the realm of scourge fans specifically is that m*ghtourge as a ship SUCKS it SUCKS its HORRIBLE and i cant even begin to bring myself to apologize for it. like i dont feel sorry at all like you take away scourge's tacky sunglasses and you take away the tacky flame and then you make him into a smol uwu bean housewife for some godforsaken reason (namely because you dont understand the character even a little bit like this is top ten fundamental misunderstandings ever of all time) for your bad yaoi. im not even going to call it m/m its YAOI. then you ship him with .... mighty ? mighty, a guy who has 1) Standards 2) absolutely no relation to scourge even a little bit 3) NO DYNAMIC THERE TO EXPLORE. THERES NOTHING INTERESTING HERE. its literally. ok sonourge is onecest (its not like . problematic i guess its just really weird) and i am notably not a fan but at least theres something to EXPLORE. the amount of character assassination you would have to do to get that to work is truly incredible but with m*ghtourge its literally character assassination but for the worlds most boring cardboard box bland instant gratification fanon crappy yaoi GARBAGE. theres NOTHING interesting here and none of these people even want to write a scourge redemption arc anyways they literally just want to make everything he ever did not his fault because a) moebius lead poisoning or something, which weirdly enough does not apply to any of the other moebians except for scourge b) his daddy issues c) his trauma or d) some combination of the above. so basically "he was never evil to begin with he was just really sad and lonely 😌✨" which is literal trash like i dont even know where to begin on this one. look. im a huge fan of redemption arcs but this is neither a redemption nor an arc this is an EXCUSE HEEL-FACE TURN. ITS TRASH. ITS TRASH. OHHHHH ITS JUST GARBAGE i actually have way more i could say on this but i will spare you the rest . this got a little out of hand. oh well
🫡 Coldest Sonic Take?
i dont like surge and kit all that much im SORRYYYYYYYYYY im sorry but its TRUEEEEEEEE. literally they have been redeemed so much in my eyes by the passion for them of my dear mutuals bunnymajo and cartoonrival so we're back to "decidedly neutral" but like . im sorry its not even their fault theyre just .... okay because the thing with me is that when characters who i feel decidedly neutral on get super popular and nobody will ever shut up about how amazing and perfect and poor uwu bean they are ... this is the quickest path to get me to dislike them.
added on top of the fact that they were literally like the entire idw focus for a year AND people (non-archie fans, specifically,) kept . bafflingly. beyond all reason and comprehension. comparing surge to scourge (which i have already ummmm written about my opinions on) it just. im sorry guys 💔 theyre okay. theyre Fine. they just never really clicked with me and then people were super annoying about them and particularly annoying in the direction of archie sonic, a series which i am aggressively defensive over in the face of idw fans 😭
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on-a-lucky-tide · 1 year
Note
I've been trying to put this into words since you put If These Scars Could Speak back up. First off, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Scars is one of, if not the, fic that has stuck with me the most. I must have read it a dozen times before you took it down. It was actually a tab that I kept open on some of my harder training exercises.
(A brief aside, because I'm afraid I cannot always make words work as I intend them to. I am in no way, shape, or form trying to guilt you, or hold any animosity. You did what I assume was best for your mental health, and I respect that immensely. If anything, it was my fault for not saving myself a copy. Please don't take anything that I am saying in a negative way.)
The first time I read Scars, I was blown away. The story is amazing, the characters have so much depth, I am a sucker for your Lambert/Aiden, yes, but it was Geralt who held me captive and kept bringing me back. Because my dear - you wrote me.
From the time I began to suspect I was neurodivergent way back in secondary school, I ruthlessly suppressed it (often to my own detriment). Because I had known from an even younger age that I wanted to join the military, and now, despite being damn good at my job and not once having an issue, I would be medically discharged if I ever ended up in front of a psychologist. (Even now, it puts my heart pounding to write this, but I told myself that since you had the strength to put it back up, I would find the strength write this.) The military has yet to realize that these things exist on a spectrum, and just because there are some people who absolutely should not be allowed to serve, there are just as many who can take their divergence and make it work for them, as your Geralt does.
Here was a character who thrived in the military and was not a walking stereotype (and do you know, I did something similar, finding myself a small unit where I'd only have to handle a dozen or so people). This is the kind of representation I never imagined finding, and to stumble upon it…I don't have the words to adequately express what your story means to me. Thank you for the care you took with this story, for the time and heart and love you poured into it (and your portrayal of PTSD…God, how many of my own brothers I saw in them). I will never stop being grateful that you wrote this. For whatever people said to you, please know that there is at least one person out there whose life was changed absolutely for the better through your words. This is so far beyond a comfort fic - this is what I read when I need to feel like I am not alone in this. Thank you, thank you.
Non, I read the start of this ask and ran away for a bit, but then I took a deep breath and read it properly.
When I tell you I cried, I'm not being hyperbolic. I've had... let's say an interesting couple of months, and it's the small things getting me through. But this is a big thing. It's overwhelming. I am so humbled.
Thank you for letting me know. Really. The story is so precious to me. There are parts of me in every character, parts of the people I know, all woven in with the characters I love. I needed hope when I wrote that story, even with all its clunky bits, so the fact that others connect with it too? I don't have words to express how that makes me feel.
I am always baffled by people's kindness, but I am so, so grateful for it.
I hope you have family and friends that love you like Geralt's does. You deserve the biggest hug and the fluffiest dressing gown to eat chocolate in. Much love, Non.
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into the gloom you left behind
Title taken from the poem It Bruises, Too by Kwame Dawes.
Prompt: Left Behind
TMNT IDW.
(tw kidnapping, family separation, very tangent references to noncon, grief, guilt, implied mind control, mental health issues, catatonia)
You can find the whole collection on AO3 here.
Dear Leo,  
I honestly don’t know if this letter will find you. I’m going to print copies off of Don’s computer and leave them all over the city, stick them in places we used to go together—some of our good scavenging spots, that library you like, that one cool spot by the river, the access tunnel into Broadway, some of your favorite spots in Central Park or the High Line. Like messages in a bottle, cause if you leave enough one's gotta find its destination.  
I’ll even try to leave a few near the Foot stronghold if I can. That place stinks, btw—how can you stand it, dude?  
Hold on, I should probably let you know who's writing to you just in case the amnesia theory's right. In fact, maybe I should give you a rundown on who you are while I'm at it.  
Your name's Leo--full name Hamato Leonardo. You're a kickass leader, an amazing ninja, and you love to read even though you don't give yourself a lot of time for it. You've got a dad who's also a teacher and a rat, a mom who loves you a ton even if she's not around you anymore, and three awesome younger brothers: Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo. I've drawn a picture of us on the bottom, so you can get a better sense of who we are. Sorry if it's a little rough.  
We've got some cool friends, too, but I don't want to name them in case this ends up in the wrong hands. The rest of us are already way too deep in...I guess you could call it a war? And we might be on different sides. Don't worry, though! It's not your fault and you're gonna remember where you belong pretty soon.  
I'm Mikey, your youngest and coolest brother, and I'm writing to you because...because, well, I know you don't like it when we curse, but we fucked up, Leo. See, we were running from this guy named Shredder, a really bad dude who killed us in our past lives (Donnie wants me to add "might have" so fine, whatever, he might have killed us in our maybe past lives).  
Anyway, he wants us dead now, and he hurt our friend Casey real bad, so we were running away from him trying to get Casey to the hospital. Only you got hit by a tranquilizer or something and you fell, and we didn't see you. None of us even noticed we were gone until we were at the hospital, and by the time we went back to look for you it was too late.  
You were...changed. You didn't recognize us anymore. You were all weird and violent and we were so scared, but under it all I could tell you were hurting. Shredder hurt you so deep you couldn't even figure out who or where you were, not really.  
I know it's not you, though. It's not. I don't know exactly what happened to you, but I'm trying to keep believing that you didn't mean to hurt us. The Leo I know would never attack his own brothers like that.  
Although I guess it wouldn't be entirely out of left field. We did leave you behind, after all. I guess that's why this sort of feels like an apology letter as much as anything.  
I'm sorry, Leo. So very, very sorry. I'm sorry this happened to you and I sorry we messed up and I swear on my life that when you come home, we'll never leave you behind again.  
I say when and not if because you will come home. We've been working around the clock to get you back, trying to figure out how to get you away from Shredhead. There's an answer to what's been done to you, a cure.  
I don't know if the Tin Can used electricity on you like the Winter Soldier, or magic like Splinter thinks, or demons like in all those movies you don't let me watch, but we can figure it out. We're smart that way.  
Although I gotta admit, it is hard to get our shit together the way things are right now. I don't think I ever realized how much work you put into leading and coordinating us, keeping us all on task. We're all guilty and stressed out and we keep getting into fights when we're together, fights I know you would have shut down right away.  
But even when we fight, we agree about how much you love you. Because you are loved, Leo, so very much. You're one of the most loved turtles in New York, maybe in the whole world. I don't know if it feels like it right now, but you've got a whole family who loves you to bits and who's not going to stop before you're home.  
Raph misses you a ton, you know. You guys fought before everything happened, but it doesn't matter anymore, not that it ever really did. He'd do anything to get you back. And Don's working himself to the bone trying to figure out how to help you, to give you the protection you need. Master Splinter spends every day meditating, trying to figure out how everything fits together, how to help you the most.  
And me? I do what I can. I'm trying to keep your room clean, you know, without messing up your stuff too much. When I'm not doing that or out looking for you I've been trying out some new Japanese dishes, stuff I think you'd like for your welcome home feast. Cool, yeah?  
If that's not enough incentive, you'll be able to pick the show for every movie night for a month after you come back. We've decided. Raph's gonna bitch and moan about it later, but whatever, he'll live. I don't even care if your stuff is burning, because seeing how happy it makes you is enough.  
As I'm writing this I'm thinking about what you might be doing right now. I want to think you just train all day like you used to and bitch at Karai or whatever, that all Shredder makes you do is kick some Savate around, but I don't know.  
He could be making you do bad things, or doing bad things to you, things we can't see. Sometimes I hear Donnie and Raph talking about it, but they always clam up when they walk by. I think they know something I don't but I'm too scared to ask.  
And you know what? I don't care. Whatever he makes you do, whatever happens while you're with the Foot, you're still our brother. There's nothing you can do to make us stop loving you and doing everything we can to help you heal. We'll look after you, Leo, I promise, same way you look after us.  
You're going to come home, and then we're all going to kick Shredder to the moon and go out for the best pizza we can find. You know, Chicago-level pizza. That's a promise, big brother, and I always keep my promises to you, same way you keep your promises to me.  
I have to go now, dude. I've got a meeting with someone who's going to help me figure out how to get you away from Shredhead and bring you home. I'll tell you more when you get back, okay? You'll want to hear all about it, and you know how much I like to tell stories.  
Love love love love,  
Mikey  
P.S. I promise not to watch any more episodes of She-Ra until you get back. Yes, you do too watch it with me, even if you're supposed to be way too macho. I've noticed that you're in the room every time I turn it on, you know.  
Oroku Saki doesn't crumple the letter or throw it at the wall, although the paper crinkles ever so slightly as he lowers his hand. He lifts his head, gaze unreadable through the helmet as his eyes bore into the black-clad man kneeling before him.
"Where did he find this?"
The man shifts a little, eyes darting anxiously. "Lion...no, Princess and Crow, my lord."
Saki nods. "I see. Outside a pizza shop?"
"Yes. DG's Corner, I think it was called. Should we stake it out?"
"Perhaps. I will have to think on it." The Shredder turns the letter over in his handle, examining the picture carefully drawn in colored pencil. A rat and a woman hold hands over four small turtles in red, purple, orange, and blue. Each figure is carefully labeled, including the one in blue, who is designated You (Leo).
"Did you see when or why he picked it up?"
"No, my lord. I apologize," the man replies, eyes downcast. "He was leading the group when we realized he'd stopped, and we found him holding the letter in his hands."
Saki nods slowly. "What happened?"
The man shrugs. "He just looked kind of confused, my lord. A little blank. We could see him staring at the paper, but it didn't really look like he was reading; his eyes weren't moving. He looked so out of it we thought he'd been hit with--"
"And then what?"
"Well, he looked up at us--through us, almost. It was...odd." The man squirms slightly, keeping his eyes carefully fixed on the ground. "I asked him what it was, and he said he didn't know. I mean, I could tell it was English, so I wasn't sure how he couldn't figure out something, but he just told us he had to go back home. By the time we got back to the base, he was, well..."
He gestures to the turtle sitting next to him. Oroku Leonardo sits with his back straight, chewing his lip gently as he stares off into the middle distance. He clearly has not processed what his companion, his erstwhile second on his last mission, has said, or any other part of the conversation. He has clearly not been processing anything for a while.
Saki sinks to his knees before the little turtle, lifting Leonardo's chin. "Her spell's fighting back, good," he says, almost to himself. "I hope she manages to shore the cracks up properly."
"Sir?" the other Foot soldier asks.
"Take the chunin to Mistress Kitsune," Saki orders, not looking up. "She will undoubtedly be able to help him. When she's done there, bring him back to my chambers."
"Yes, sir," the Foot soldier says, rising to his feet. He's got the look of a man carefully not knowing the full meaning of back to my chambers.  
"Oh, and Lieutenant?" Saki calls, giving Leonardo a little nudge. The boy stands up obediently, if a little hesitantly, and Saki rises to join him.
"Yes, sir?"
"Have Kitsune take a look at you and the other soldiers on that mission as well. It wouldn't do to get any unseemly rumors started."
The man's eyes widen slightly behind the mask, but his respect and fear for Saki are stronger than his terror of Kitsune. "Yes, sir." He bows out of the room and heads off down the hall, Leonardo trotting at his heels.
Saki looks back at the troublesome letter. Tracking down and disposing of them all will be tricky, but luckily his soldiers are very good at destroying things without question. Leonardo will never have his doubt or mind shaken by such a pitiful silly little piece of paper again.
He turns to the nearby fire and tosses the paper in among the flames. It's gone all too soon, chewed up and devoured, with nothing but a bit more smoke to mark the way.
_____
The street names Lion, Princess and Crow, and DG's pizza shop are shoutouts to my amazing fellow writers and freaks-in-arms @leonsi, @princessgemma12, @crow-dog-blogs, and @dg-darkfantasy.
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verawhisk · 1 year
Note
my dear friend. i am so mentally exhausted and have shed literal tears tonight. i am so happy. i will catch up on everything you’ve posted for tonight in the morning, but what were ur thotz abt tonight <3
omg hi you dont have to do that! you’re too nice to me rosey. besides i turned into a little autistic creature last night lolol, sorry y’all had to witness that. but im so glad you saw that card! it was INSANE!! i was so prepared for it to be not that great because 2022 has kinda sucked in terms of fights yknow? just lots of dubious, weird moments with injuries and strange decisions within the organization and ofc its not the fighters’ faults but still i was so ready for this to be bad
luckily it was actually amazing all the way from the start of prelims to the end of the main event!! it was incredible!! they said it broke the record for first round finishes! i just cant believe the show they all put on… they have so much heart and courage, every single one of them
i was actually considering not buying the ppv this time because 280 was so bad LOL could you imagine if i didnt buy it? i would have missed possibly the best card this entire year
first of all i was so overcome with joy when dan got the win over puelles, i was damn near crying hahah. i mean a win over costco ryan hall is not SUPER impressive but who cares?? THAT’S MY BOY!! HE’S SO CUTE!! and i want him in perth dammit. give him his flowers dana. (fun fact: i started watching mma mainly because i watched the conor vs. urijah season of tuf and i thought ryan hall was so cool LMAO)
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(this crusty ahh drawing from 2021…. yup i thought he was super cool and im kinda sad that he’s less active than other fighters but if i were offered a fight with ryan hall i’d probably turn it down too)
as for frankie vs. gutierrez my stomach dropped when he landed that knee bruh. what the hell was that? bro HAD to know that was frankie’s last fight and to do that to him in front of his family is just sick… i mean good on him for not sandbagging just for someone else’s career to go out on a nice note but did you have to finish him that brutally?? idk man maybe im just a casual but he deserves more than that
poirier vs. chandler… im not even exaggerating when i say that fight made me nearly puke and pass out bro. i got fucked up sweat glands so your girl can’t sweat but if she could she woulda been DRIPPING from head to toe last night LOL. guys i think the reason i went so crazy was because i actually mentally prepared myself for the fight to be bad, for real. that’s genuinely what i did. i went into the fight telling myself that there was a well and good possibility that michael might actually just wrassle him into a decision and i was all good with it because i was still gonna like them no matter what. but HOLY CRAP i need to remind myself to never doubt them ever again because that was AMAZING!!!! start to finish was just an absolute dog fight. they looked so exhausted and broken and blood was pouring everywhere and michael was tossing dustin like a bag of flour only for said bag of flour to start raining punches on him (a la justin gaethje lol) and it was fucking incredible and i cant believe it really happened. not to mention the alvarez-chandler-gaethje-poirier circle of violence is finally complete hahah omg it feels unreal. and i can't believe dustin finished ALL of them.. he's so classy and talented and handsome lul he's really the perfect fighter
but hol on i wanna mention michael cheating because i’m not gonna lie that really made me question him?? not that iron michael chandler cares about what some delusional mma fan in canada thinks about him LMAO but still he always carries himself like a professional athlete everywhere he goes and he seems to pride himself on his ability to stand out among the fighters who don’t have the speaking style or the business etiquette that he does, so when he went into the fight and started pounding on the back of his head and actually HOOKING HIS FINGERS on the inside of dustin’s mouth trying to make him show his neck, it made me scratch my head because why are you behaving like an olympic athlete in front of the press only to go in the cage and treat your opponent like an abused farm animal lmao?
though im ngl… the idea of this polite, charismatic, american psycho type dude entering the cage and turning on mean ape mode is actually fucking hilarious? and he’s kind of more interesting to me now?? so i guess it doesn’t really matter that my opinion of him went down a little hahah silly observation but there’s my two cents. i’m still super impressed by both of them and they both have my heart at the end of the day
during weili vs carla i was playing runescape. i’m so sorry. i was just tryna level up my fishing i really have no clue what happened other than that weili finished carla because she’s really awesome and she kicks ass and i feel really bad that i wasn't paying attention IM SORRY LMAO!! my social credit score is in massive danger rn
izzy vs pereira had me biting my nails into little shreds because i could feel exactly what they were feeling. alex is just one of those “one clean hit and you’re out” fighters but izzy is obviously still a master of striking so watching those exchanges was like watching two people balancing on a plank over shark-infested waters lolol it was crazy nerve wracking. however y’all know that i was rooting for alex so i am super duper happy and i can’t wait to see who challenges him next!! tbh i’d prefer anybody but khamzat because if he really does move up to middleweight and becomes alex’s first challenger he’s fucked lmao cries… please start training in dagestan alex thank u <3
thanks for asking me ahh it really means a lot to me that you actually care about what i think. :D let me know what you thought about it too!!
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munsontm · 2 years
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♪ - For my muse to start singing for your muse. — steve
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@harringtontm
Madison Square Garden. A big venue for a massive show, with absolutely no room for fuck ups. But fuck ups were all that was happening, at least with their vocalist. Did only he hear it? During Steve's sound check on their large stage the morning before the concert, Nancy and Robin seemed content and continued doing their own checks before the practice run through. But Eddie could hear the tremor in Steve's voice when he went to hit the higher notes during Freak. A classic Stranger Things tune that people would expect to see in all its perfect glory. It was unusual for their singer to miss his mark; he tended to be a bit of a perfectionist. Eddie had an inkling as to what the issue was, but he waited with arms folded, boot tapping impatiently against the stage, for the song to end.
"What the fuck was that, Steve?" He almost shouted on approach, grabbing the attention of the crew around them. It wasn't intentional that his voice had grown louder. Emotions were simmering beneath the surface from the previous evening, an argument, and they'd gotten the better of him at the moment when he spoke to Steve. For the first time that day, he thought. Shit. A soft sigh fell from his chewed lips, and he dismissed the worried stares wishing to spare the other man any further embarrassment from their obvious predicament. Fortunately, everyone went back to their business quietly. Nancy stared at them longer until he signalled that everything was under control. If she got involved, Steve might shut off completely. The bassist butted heads when necessary. Eddie respected that. It just wasn't what they needed right then.
Once finally left to their selves, he steered a disgruntled Steve away backstage to a deserted corner. Silence pervaded the space between them, trapping all the things that needed to be said, should have been said, things they didn't have time to discuss there and then, so they had to wait. Such was the life of a superstar rock band. "I get that you're pissed. That's fine." He was allowed his anger after what happened; the feeling was mutual. "But you cannot go out there and sing Freak like that," his voice snapped. "And I know you can do it so much better. You can sing it like a goddamn wet dream, Steve." Eddie watched him, doe eyes focused intensely on making this work despite the tension radiating out of them both.
He leaned against a nearby transport crate with his knee bent up, boot upon the wooden frame, arms crossed. "C'mon. Lay it on me like I know you can. Just me. Relax and breathe. Close your eyes if you gotta, sweetheart. Just make it work." Gradually, his voice became softer, turning back to honey. He knew that it would work better for Steve if he was calmer. But it'd been hard to do that when a song so dear and personal to his heart was nearly butchered by the one person he trusted other than himself to vocalise it. How annoying that part of it was his fault too.
The second run wasn't amazing, but it was better than the first. Eddie could hear the rock n' roll rumble, desperately trying to push through the reluctance in Steve's voice. It just needed an extra shove. He got a bottle of water for him before they went into the third run because he knew that Steve knew; there was no way out of this until his vocals were pitched perfectly. Their eyes locked briefly while Steve downed the bottle, pouring a quarter of it over his head to cool down. Eddie looked away. Distraction equalled not good when you had a show to put on. He cleared his throat, eyes darting back to meet Steve's, business face on. "Okay, let's go for take three. Give me the money shot, Stevie." The order earned him more than he bargained for when the vocalist stepped over to Eddie and got up in his face to sing the lyrics. Little shit. He smiled, the expression annoyed, and he moved his head from side to side so that Steve couldn't catch his eyes while he sang. It was a matter of principle by the second chorus to deny Steve precisely what he wanted.
But then a strong had curled around his jaw, forcing their eyes to finally meet. He was kept in place by the damned crate and could only surrender to the intense stare of stunning hazel eyes, darkened by passion, and did he see a hint of lust---or was it anger? Either way, the crowd would lap it up as hard as Eddie was, no fucking doubt. Then music heaven reached his ears in the form of high notes being hit, and yeah, it made him groan in satisfaction to finally hear it. Electric shot through his body all over, head to toe, brain to balls, heart to dick. Lashes flutter closed, head thunked back on the crate behind them, and he listened with every part of him. It made him forget that they weren't even talking technically.
"That was perfect," he mumbled while Steve began to wind down, releasing his jaw. Under better circumstances, this would be the part where they kissed for a while and eventually be told off by Nancy for taking too long. But only an unreadable look was waiting for Eddie when he opened his eyes. Would Steve be able to pull it off to an audience other than him? Eddie needed to ensure that he would. "Do that on stage tonight, and we'll make the front page tomorrow, guaranteed." He said, a ringed hand tentatively reaching to lace briefly with one of Steve's, giving it a quick squeeze. "We can talk after the show too, okay? That's if you want to," he smiled. "I shouldn't have snapped earlier---things are just, ya know?" Tense. Uneasy. Weird. "But I believe in you, Steve. Always have, since the first day you tried to impress me by singing Motley Crue. I know you got this, baby." A good luck peck was placed at the corner of Steve's mouth. No argument had the power to stop him from doing that.
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ysapawithfeelings · 5 months
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Dear Old Friend,
Friendship break-ups hurt too. I just haven't quite figured out yet which hurts more: a friendship that ended because of utter betrayal, or a friendship that died a natural death, with no particular rhyme nor reason, but just naturally ran its course, packed up its things quietly and suddenly, just totally left without a word, like a thief in the night.
Here's the thing: ours died a natural death.
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Something to remember you by
---
We grew up together. In every sense of the word. I met you at the tender age of seven, but we only really became friends during the fourth grade. In the fifth grade, you had your first period months before I had mine. In hindsight, maybe that should have been a clear indication that you will be more mature than I am, in more ways than one. During our grade school graduation, you were one of those who cheered the loudest after I gave my valedictory speech. We were so young, and our dreams seemed so big yet attainable. I felt invincible with you by my side.
In high school, we grew even closer. Your thirteenth birthday was extraordinary. We celebrated at Pioneer, and although my heart was a little broken over someone (this seems so trivial now), I remember we had a grand time. It was October, and it has always been one of my favorite months. Quite frankly because you were born October 15th.
Despite having had to transfer to a different school during junior year, we did our best to remain close and be there for each other during the most crucial of times. We stayed close all the way to college and even after that. And even though we attended different universities, pursued different degrees - the stuff that truly mattered kept us so incredibly connected. You were my soulmate. I can still remember you twirling and doing a little happy dance when you first told me about your first boyfriend. And knowing the kind of love and loyalty you gave the people you care about, I just knew he was going to be your last. I wasn't wrong. He did end up becoming your husband, and now you have two beautiful, amazing girls. You're living well, doing well, and I couldn't be happier for you.
And I couldn't be more thankful on how we'd seen each other through everything: parents, lovers, vices, work woes, pregnancy, marriage. Everything.
But somewhere along the way, we grew apart. The thing that I thought would never happen to us did. It's not your fault. It's no one's fault. We just had a falling out, even though we never actually fought. I could never really swallow fighting with you. We just grew distant, the figurative kind of distance, which when you think about it is ironic, judging by how close our houses currently are. It just happened one day, the day I extremely dreaded for the longest time. Long story short: you got tired of reaching out, as I did. And it just did not seem like the friendship could be extended, expanded, or saved any longer. It happened gradually, but also kind of all at once. I know you know what I mean. As much as it pains me to say it, it's been true for a long time. We are like strangers now.
There was a last straw; I'd be lying if I said there wasn't an ultimate cue that led me to just get up, stop trying altogether, and just go. It may be immaterial now, but it did exist. It solidified what I was trying to deny the whole time: I was barely hanging on a thin line, and it was simply time to let go. You have your reasons. So do I. And all of them are valid. But you know what? I held on so much longer and deeper than you did. I don't mind, and I am never taking that against you--so don't even try to rebut. It's okay. I will be okay. :)
These days, I think I am still in the process of grieving over our decades-long friendship. There are still instances on mundane days when something happens, and my first thought would be to call or text you because you'd be the best person to tell all about it. In time, I do hope the feeling of longing will pass entirely.
It has not been easy, especially since I have had other deep friendships to mourn for since the pandemic took place. It's my thing now: losing friends. Part of the whole growing up shit, I guess. Still, I have to say, I am having a hard time deciphering--if a friendship that died a natural death is harder to get over than a friendship killed by a lie and/or a betrayal. I guess it just depends on what kind of day I'm having. Or what memories are more painful to look back to. Maybe they equally hurt because they both cannot be repaired. And maybe I don't ever really need to know the answer to my question. Whatever is the point, right? Nothing. Because a loss is a loss.
Despite losing you, I will always love you--albeit from a distance. You have been such a core person from my childhood, puberty, and even the first two decades of my adulthood. But whenever we were together (sadly can't even remember the last time we were), I've realized, we talk more about the past than we do the present or even the future. We're just two ships passing by each other now, but you can be assured that I'm a ship that's rooting for you and always praying you'd never sink. Even in my most hurtful and embittered phase, I will never wish you ill. In fact, I am letting you go with nothing but love and respect.
I am almost at the end of my blog here. Not that you'd even be reading this, but just as well, please let me thank you for the our friendship. It almost felt like family in countless ways. It almost felt like forever. We made promises we couldn't keep, that's all. We meant them when we made them, and that's enough. So a thousand times thank you, and I think this is it for us, G. I can almost hear Monica's For You I Will playing in the background.
And if you ever do feel you want to come back (and I'm honestly not expecting even the slightest bit that you will), I want you to know that the door will never be locked. You can knock any time. Or you know, if it's a matter of life and death, just freaking turn the knob. Heck, destroy the door if you need to. And nobody even has to apologize or say the first awkward hello. It won't matter; my heart will easily let you in.
Maybe I'll even buy you a flat white or two. And even if I never was a Harry Potter fan like you massively were, I am well-aware of that famous line--
"Even after all this time?" "Always."
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jeepinitrealjku · 1 year
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Your Musical Theme
The theme and unifying idea that I decided to choose for this assignment is “tribute.” I decided to choose this theme because many tribute songs are so much more than a simple tribute when you fully listen to the song and analyze the lyrics. I chose this theme because it is extremely relevant to me. A lot of the songs I like are tribute songs because it allows me to reminisce on two very important people - my grandparents - who I lost many years ago.
“Difficult” by Eminem - Rap
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“Difficult” is a rap song that is dedicated to a best friend of Eminem - Proof - who passed away in 2006. “Difficult” is a song with a very low, slowed down tempo, allowing for the melody of the song to seem very dull and sad, but at the same time having some higher notes to allow for an opposite perspective. The consonance in this song is very well put together, allowing for the use of the different notes to make the listener feel a certain way, allowing for the proper absorption of the lyrical meaning. This song is very real and raw, allowing it to seem as if Eminem is speaking directly to whoever he is speaking to. It contributes well to the message of “tribute” especially well because it feels so real and raw. It is very clear after listening to the song and reading the lyrics that Eminem put all of his feelings and thoughts about his best friend into this song, making it feel very personal to not only himself but every listener.
“Headlights” by Eminem ft. Nate Ruess - Rap
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This song illustrates beautifully the way that people grow to recognize that some things are out of one’s control. This is a tribute to Eminem’s mother as a way of saying thank you for being both his mother and his father. Like many of Eminem’s songs, it has a very slow and calm tempo, but the melody is more upbeat and continues this path further into the song. Having a very good consonance, the use of the high notes allows for some happy moments or, in Eminem’s case, a moment of realization. The lyrics “I guess we are who we are” repeat throughout the song, showing that he has realized that it is not his mother’s fault for how she was, but it was due to a variety of outside factors. This song has pain and love all in one, allowing for a true tribute and a thank you to his mother for doing all that she did for him, even if he could not realize these things until later in life. 
“Give Heaven Some Hell” by HARDY - Country
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A song that is a tribute that anyone can use for a friend who was gone too soon, this song hits close to the heart. Its tempo starts off very slow and low and progresses through the song into a more upbeat, higher pitch that continues throughout as HARDY reminisces and remembers his dear friend. This song also fits well into the category of consonance. The music, notes, and lyrics fit together all too well, allowing for the melody to just flow smoothly. This song carries a very consistent structure, allowing for new verses to fit in all while allowing for the use of all that he hopes his friend will do up above to repeat multiple times. This is such a great tribute song for many, many people and gives out amazing emotional content, allowing everyone who relates to this song to think of all the good things they wish their lost friend is doing up above. As HARDY himself wrote under this song, “Give Heaven Some Hell is one of my favorite songs I have ever written & having my buddies in the music video meant a whole lot. If you’ve ever lost a friend or someone you love, I hope this helps you & gives ya hope.”
“You Should Be Here” by Cole Swindell - Country
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An emotional song that is a tribute to Cole Swindell’s dad, who unexpectedly passed away in 2013 while he was on a radio tour. A truly memorable song with a heartfelt, smooth, and consistent tempo equal with that of the melody, this song will always be a favorite tribute song of mine. This song has good consonance, every lyric and note flowing perfectly together, and creating a heartfelt message. When thinking of the theme for this assignment, this was the first song to come to mind when I chose it. This is a song that my family holds close because it reminds us all of my grandfather who passed when I was eight years old. It is difficult to watch the music video and sometimes even listen to the song without tearing up because it hits so close to home. Due to this, I believe that this song carries heaps of emotional content and clearly passes along the message of loving a lost one very, very clearly.
“Angel” by Sarah McLachlan - Folk
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“Angel” is tributed to Jonathan Melvoin, who died of a heroin overdose in 1996 while touring as the Smashing Pumpkins’ keyboardist, but could be a tribute song for just about anyone. McLachlan’s use of the piano throughout this song allows for a consistent tone and melody all throughout, allowing for the pitch to sound beautifully consistent and “flowy” through the song. While the song uses consonance, it also uses dissonance with McLachlan’s pitch in her voice going high/low as the piano notes do the opposite. Although I have never been a fan of this genre of music, this folk styled song communicates its message very well. Even though today the song lyrics have become a TikTok joke, it evokes its emotional content well simply by the pitch of McLachlan’s voice and how she uses the delicate, yet higher notes.
“Whale Song” by Carina Nour & Gibs - Electronic
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The beginning of this song is almost surreal. The combination of the melody and tempo almost simulates what it feels like and sounds like to be under water in the ocean. Using a combination of low and high notes as well as an “echoy” effect simulates this perfectly. It is very calming, picking up further into the song, and almost feels surreal - like a fever dream. It is a song that I could feel myself get lost in and it perfectly depicts exactly how an ocean sounds and feels if it were to be put into a song. Although there are no lyrics, I feel as though this song clarifies what it is meant to well - a tribute to the ocean and the tides. It felt as though I was surrounded by the ocean and was listening to the noises perfectly! Even without lyrics, this song has a very great meaning behind it and I believe that even without knowing the meaning prior to listening, connecting the sounds will allow you to picture an ocean setting.
Word count: 1202
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fusionverse · 2 years
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chat log 2
(Radical_times has entered the chat room)
Radical_times> yo whats up can you guys hear me
(<webmaster>Fresh_ ninja had entered the chat room)
Fresh_ninja> haha loud and clear Pearon what about you MC
Radical_times> ……. Yo MC you there
Freash_ninja> oh dear I forgot to add them hold on
(MC had entered the chat)
MC>huh oh wow this is a chat room?
Radical_times> well da
MC> welp I now know who you are Pearon
Fresh_Ninja> haha hello MC I made this chat room so we can keep in contact if we ever get separated or if we are live at the studio and you need me or Pearon’s help there is a few other people I want to add but that can wait until we take you to the alcove tomorrow
MC> wow you made and programed this that's amazing Shunina
Radical_times> yeah shes amazing you should see the whole stage for turf war she has made
MC> hey super embarrassing but can I ask you guys a question
Radical_times> yeah sure fire away
Fresh_ninja> Sure
MC> for turf war can you guys access a squid or octopus from I know Inklings and Octolings can but because you guys are fusion of that race can you
Radical_times> hah is that all its not that embarrassing
Freash_ninja> well we don’t trun into squids or octopuses but we kinda just melt and become blobs of ink the only thing would be our eyes as we need to see
Radical_times> is that all you want to know MC
MC> well one more thing I know you guys also take part in bakugan battles right
Radical_times> yeah those are fun
MC> um where are your bakugan partners
Fresh_ninja> oh that Skyress stays in my room unless I want to have a bakugan brawl or if she wants to go sightseeing with me
Radical_times> same with Shunina Nemus stays in my room when we are live but I prefer to have him with me at all times for me I prefer bakugan battle instead of turf war
Fresh_ninja> unlike Pearon I prefer turf war it's more fun and keeps me active
MC> oh ok could I try a bakugan battle?
Radical_times> (╯✧ ∇ ✧)╯
Fresh_ninja> oh no you set him off
Radical_times> BOOYAH!!!!!
(<webmaster> Fresh_ninja has booted Radical_times from the chat)
MC> um what the
Fresh_ninja> believe me if for your own good he will send paragraphs of text and in the end we would never get any sleep
MC> oh sorry I didn’t mean to set him off
Fresh_ninja> it's not your fault you didn’t know now let’s get some sleep you ok in the spare room up there on the top floor?
MC> i’m good it feels so weird being away from home
Fresh_ninja> don’t worry we will find a way to get you home
MC> thank you both of you
Fresh_ninja> no problem MC
(<webmaster> Fresh_ninja and MC have left the chat)
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turnpage · 3 years
Text
send me a ✐ for a random sentence starter from my muse (1-1500) — tw: profanity, mild nsfw, long list
generator here quotes compiled from here inspired by
feel free to change to fit your preferences as need.
❨1❩ ❛ They are dreams, but I’m too out of control, I lose myself in them, and I’ve already lost too much to let them take over. ❜
 ❨2❩ ❛ Sometimes human places create inhuman monsters. ❜ ❨3❩ ❛ I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in. ❜ ❨4❩ ❛ Monsters are real. Ghosts are too. They live inside of us, and sometimes, they win. ❜ ❨5❩ ❛ The world's a hard place. It doesn't care. It doesn't hate you and me, but it doesn't love us, either. ❜ ❨6❩ ❛ The tears that heal are also the tears that scald and scourge. ❜ ❨7❩ ❛ Pull your act together and just go on. ❜ ❨8❩ ❛ I had never dreamed there could be so much pain in a life when there is nothing physically wrong. I hurt all the time. ❜ ❨9❩ ❛ Tough old world, baby. If you're not bolted together tightly, you're gonna shake, rattle, and roll before you turn thirty. ❜ ❨10❩ ❛ Are you sure self-pity is a luxury you can afford? ❜ ❨11❩ ❛ Truth comes out. In the end it always comes out. ❜ ❨12❩ ❛ Living by your wits is always knowing where the wasps are. ❜ ❨13❩ ❛ No matter where you go, the same asshole gets off the plane. ❜ ❨14❩ ❛ We sometimes need to create unreal monsters and bogies to stand in for all the things we fear in our real lives. ❜ ❨15❩ ❛ That’s your job in this hard world, to keep your love alive and see that you get on, no matter what. ❜ ❨16❩ ❛ Human nature, baby. Grab it and growl. ❜ ❨17❩ ❛ God wiped snot out of his nose and that was you. ❜ ❨18❩ ❛ Run away. Quick. And remember how much I love you. ❜ ❨19❩ ❛ How many times, over how many years, have I—a grown adult—asked for the mercy of another chance? ❜ ❨20❩ ❛ I was suddenly so sick of myself, so revolted. ❜ ❨21❩ ❛ You listen to me. I’m going to talk to you about it this once and never again this same way. ❜ ❨22❩ ❛ But those pieces, they’ll never fit just the same way again. Never in this world. ❜ ❨23❩ ❛ Dying is a part of living. You have to keep tuning in to that if you expect to be a whole person. ❜ ❨24❩ ❛ Officious little prick. ❜ ❨25❩ ❛ I’ve been sleepwalking again, my dear. — The plants are moving under the rug. ❜ ❨26❩ ❛ How I wish you were fear. ❜ ❨27❩ ❛ But it was a dreadful kind of curiosity, the kind that makes you peek through your fingers during the scariest parts of a scary movie. ❜ ❨28❩ ❛ All we have is time, you know. An eternity of time. Or shall we end it? Might as well. After all, we're missing the party. ❜ ❨29❩ ❛ We all remember our pleasant dreams more clearly than the scary ones. ❜ ❨30❩ ❛ The way things should be and the way things are hardly ever get together. ❜ ❨31❩ ❛ Got to be regular if you want to be happy. ❜ ❨32❩ ❛ But in a solitary life, there are rare moments when another soul dips near yours, as stars once a year brush the earth. ❜ ❨33❩ ❛ He showed me his scars, and in return he let me pretend that I had none. ❜ ❨34❩ ❛ Humbling women seems to me a chief pastime of poets. As if there can be no story unless we crawl and weep. ❜ ❨35❩ ❛ It is a common saying that women are delicate creatures, flowers, eggs, anything that may be crushed in a moment's carelessness.  ❜ ❨36❩ ❛ If I had ever believed it, I no longer do. ❜ ❨37❩ ❛ I thought once that gods are the opposite of death, but I see now they are more dead than anything, for they are unchanging, and can hold nothing in their hands. ❜ ❨38❩ ❛ I cannot bear this world a moment longer. ❜ ❨39❩ ❛ I have a better idea. I will do as I please. ❜ ❨40❩ ❛ All my life has been murk and depths, but I am not a part of that dark water. I am a creature within it. ❜ ❨41❩ ❛ You cannot know how frightened gods are of pain. There is nothing more foreign to them, and so nothing they ache more deeply to see. ❜ ❨42❩ ❛ When we are young, we think ourselves the first to have each feeling in the world. ❜ ❨43❩ ❛ When I was born, the word for what I was did not exist. ❜ ❨44❩ ❛ But perhaps no parent can truly see their child. When we look we see only the mirror of our own faults. ❜ ❨45❩ ❛ I will not be like a bird bred in a cage, too dull to fly even when the door stands open. ❜ ❨46❩ ❛ This is what it means to swim in the tide, to walk the earth and feel it touch your feet. This is what it means to be alive. ❜ ❨47❩ ❛ You threw me to the crows, but it turns out I prefer them to you. ❜ ❨48❩ ❛ Yet because I knew nothing, nothing was beneath me. ❜ ❨49❩ ❛ If now I am wise, it is only because I have been fool enough for a hundred lifetimes. ❜ ❨50❩ ❛ You can teach a viper to eat from your hands, but you cannot take away how much it likes to bite. ❜ ❨51❩ ❛ Give me the blade. Some things are worth spilling blood for. ❜ ❨52❩ ❛ I have been old and stern for so long, carved with regrets and years like a monolith. But that is only a shape I’ve been poured into. I do not have to keep it. ❜ ❨53❩ ❛ I wake sometimes in the dark terrified by my life's precariousness, its thready breath. ❜ ❨54❩ ❛ Understanding the world is a matter of keeping very still and showing no emotions, leaving room for others to reveal themselves. ❜ ❨55❩ ❛ Beneath the smooth, familiar face of things is another that waits to tear the world in two. ❜ ❨56❩ ❛ The truth is, men make terrible pigs. ❜ ❨57❩ ❛ My father has never been able to imagine the world without himself in it. ❜ ❨58❩ ❛ This is the grief that makes our kind choose to be stones and trees rather than flesh. ❜ ❨59❩ ❛ Witches are not so delicate. ❜ ❨60❩ ❛ Those who fight against prophecy only draw it more tightly around their throats. ❜ ❨61❩ ❛ I learned that I could bend the world to my will, as a bow is bent for an arrow. I would have done that toil a thousand times to keep such power in my hands. ❜ ❨62❩ ❛ There's the story, then there's the real story, then there's the story of how the story came to be told. Then there's what you leave out of the story. Which is part of the story too. ❜ ❨63❩ ❛ The best way of being kind to bears is not to be very close to them. ❜ ❨64❩ ❛ Life is warped. I'm just in sync. ❜ ❨65❩ ❛ Now it's a whisper from the past. ❜ ❨66❩ ❛ But hatred and viciousness are addictive. You can get high on them. Once you've had a little, you start shaking if you don't get more. ❜ ❨67❩ ❛ Why is it always such a surprise? The moon. Even though we know it's coming. Every time we see it, it makes us pause, and hush. ❜ ❨68❩ ❛ Perfection exacts a price, but it's the imperfect who pay it. ❜ ❨69❩ ❛ What is 'belief' but a willingness to suspend the negatives?  ❜ ❨70❩ ❛ I have scars, inside me. ❜ ❨71❩ ❛ The dead are not entirely dead but are alive in a different way; a paler way admittedly, and somewhat darker. ❜ ❨72❩ ❛ However dark, a darkness with voices in it is better than a silent void. ❜ ❨73❩ ❛ Amazing how quickly the past becomes idyllic. ❜ ❨74❩ ❛ It is another way of saying tough luck. To people you aren’t going to help out. ❜ ❨75❩ ❛ I'm waiting, far off in the future. ❜ ❨76❩ ❛ The only sure camouflage is unpredictability. ❜ ❨77❩ ❛ There are so many of them, and each one of them is doing part of the killing, whether they know it or not. ❜ ❨78❩ ❛ First rule: limit bloodshed by making sure that none of your own gets spilled. ❜ ❨79❩ ❛ I long to swim in liquid moonlight. ❜ ❨80❩ ❛ That's right, I don’t like to be summoned on trivial matters. ❜ ❨81❩ ❛ The part that really made me happy was that you wanted me to be happy. ❜ ❨82❩ ❛ Cut that part out of us: the grinning, elemental malice. Begin us anew. ❜ ❨83❩ ❛ Where there are wars, there will be crows, the carrion-fanciers. And ravens too, the warbirds, the eyeball gourmands. And vultures, the holy birds of yore, old connoisseurs of rot. ❜ ❨84❩ ❛ At last. It's you. ❜ ❨85❩ ❛ No, you will not be cooked on a fire when you die. Because you are not a fish. ❜ ❨86❩ ❛ Take what the moment offers. Don’t close doors. Be thankful. ❜ ❨87❩ ❛ How many others have stood in this place? Left behind, with all gone, all swept away. ❜ ❨88❩ ❛ Is it disapproval or extreme lust? With some men it’s hard to tell the difference. ❜ ❨89❩ ❛ My hair was driving me crazy, but then … I died. ❜ ❨90❩ ❛ Seek and ye shall find, eventually. And you found. You’re right, I don’t dispute that. Sorry. ❜ ❨91❩ ❛ Everything digests, and is digested. ❜ ❨92❩ ❛ My head was once a filing cabinet. Now it’s a flurry of papers, floating on a draft. ❜ ❨93❩ ❛ You cannot keep bumping your head against reality and saying it is not there. ❜ ❨94❩ ❛ I have a feeling that inside you somewhere, there’s something nobody knows about. ❜ ❨95❩ ❛ And if I don’t want to die, I’ve got to start living. ❜ ❨96❩ ❛ The world is a beautiful place. Don’t forget that. And don’t miss it. ❜ ❨97❩ ❛ I was fighting for my life. So I must not want to die. ❜ ❨98❩ ❛ Something’s happening to me, through me, something dangerous and new. ❜ ❨99❩ ❛ It’s taken root, a poison tree; it’s grown, fanning out, vines winding round my gut, my lungs, my heart. ❜ ❨100❩ ❛ We’re interpreters. We’re translators. ❜ ❨101❩ ❛ You’ll notice I’m not asking what made you this way. ❜ ❨102❩ ❛ No family, happy or unhappy, is quite like any other. Tolstoy was chock-fullo’shit. Remember that. ❜ ❨103❩ ❛ We lived in monochrome those nights. ❜ ❨104❩ ❛ You live in a dream. You’re a sleepwalker, blind. How do you know what the world is like? ❜ ❨105❩ ❛ Do you know, if you rip off the fronts of houses, you’d find swine? ❜ ❨106❩ ❛ I stand here in the dark: cold, utterly alone, full of fear and something that feels like longing. ❜ ❨107❩ ❛ The definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results. ❜ ❨108❩ ❛ Not to warm the flesh, but solely to please the eye. ❜ ❨109❩ ❛ Selective emotional detachment. ❜ ❨110❩ ❛ Not for me, or at least not today. ❜ ❨111❩ ❛ Dead but not gone, watching life surge forward around me, powerless to intervene. ❜ ❨112❩ ❛ Do I sound like a hillbilly saying that? ❜ ❨113❩ ❛ Remember, you’ve got your secret weapon. ❜ ❨114❩ ❛ The dream drains away like water. The memory, really. I try to scoop it up in my palms, but it’s gone. ❜ ❨115❩ ❛ My shadow stretches along the carpet, as though trying to detach itself from me. ❜ ❨116❩ ❛ It curls away from me, like blood in water. ❜ ❨117❩ ❛ It’s been so long since I felt the rain. Or wind—the caress of wind. ❜ ❨118❩ ❛ But snow I never want to feel again. ❜ ❨119❩ ❛ Through adversity to the stars. ❜ ❨120❩ ❛ No hero. No sleuth. I am locked in. I am locked out. ❜ ❨121❩ ❛ Thinking hasn't gotten me anywhere so far. ❜ ❨122❩ ❛ The face you give the world tells the world how to treat you. ❜ ❨123❩ ❛ Sometimes I think illness sits inside every woman, waiting for the right moment to bloom. ❜ ❨124❩ ❛ Women get consumed. ❜ ❨125❩ ❛ Sometimes if you let people do things to you, you're really doing it to them. ❜ ❨126❩ ❛ A child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort. ❜ ❨127❩ ❛ Safer to be feared than loved. ❜ ❨128❩ ❛ I ached once, hard, like a period typed at the end of a sentence. ❜ ❨129❩ ❛ It's impossible to compete with the dead. I wish I could stop trying. ❜ ❨130❩ ❛ I always feel sad for the girl that I was. ❜ ❨131❩ ❛ Every time people said I was pretty, I thought of everything ugly swarming beneath my clothes. ❜ ❨132❩ ❛ How do you keep safe when your whole day is as wide and empty as the sky? Anything could happen. ❜ ❨133❩ ❛ See, there I am. I told you I lived. I told you I was. ❜ ❨134❩ ❛ Sometimes I think I won't ever feel safe until I can count my last days on one hand. ❜ ❨135❩ ❛ To refuse has so many more consequences than submitting. ❜ ❨136❩ ❛ I'm here. I don't usually feel that I am. ❜ ❨137❩ ❛ I'm tired of dying. ❜ ❨138❩ ❛ What if you hurt because it feels so good? ❜ ❨139❩ ❛ How confusing to live in the shadow of a shadow. ❜ ❨140❩ ❛ Do you ever feel like bad things are going to happen, and you can’t stop them? You can’t do anything, you just have to wait? ❜ ❨141❩ ❛ Sometimes my scars have a mind of their own. ❜ ❨142❩ ❛ Everyone has their own version of a memory. ❜ ❨143❩ ❛ Isn’t a smile a girl’s best weapon? ❜ ❨144❩ ❛ My sense of weightlessness, I think, comes from the fact that I know so little about my past. ❜ ❨145❩ ❛ Do what I want; I might like you. ❜ ❨146❩ ❛ I feel sorry for Persephone because even when she’s back with the living, people are afraid of her because of where’s she’s been. ❜ ❨147❩ ❛ She has never told me she loved me, and I never assumed she did. ❜ ❨148❩ ❛ The sight of it actually does something to you, makes you less human. ❜ ❨149❩ ❛ It infects you. It ruined me. ❜ ❨150❩ ❛ Your health is not a debt you just cancel. The body collects. ❜ ❨151❩ ❛ Men love to put things inside women, don’t they? ❜ ❨152❩ ❛ We can know only that we know nothing. And that is the highest degree of human wisdom. ❜ ❨153❩ ❛ Nothing is so necessary for a young man as the company of intelligent women. ❜ ❨154❩ ❛ The strongest of all warriors are these two — time and patience. ❜ ❨155❩ ❛ If everyone fought for their own convictions there would be no war. ❜ ❨156❩ ❛ There is no greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness, and truth. ❜ ❨157❩ ❛ The whole world is divided for me into two parts: one is she, and there is all happiness, hope, light; the other is where she is not, and there is dejection and darkness. ❜ ❨158❩ ❛ Let the dead bury the dead, but while I'm alive, I must live and be happy. ❜ ❨159❩ ❛ It's not given to people to judge what's right or wrong. People have eternally been mistaken and will be mistaken, and in nothing more than in what they consider right and wrong. ❜ ❨160❩ ❛ You can love a person dear to you with a human love, but an enemy can only be loved with divine love. ❜ ❨161❩ ❛ If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed. ❜ ❨162❩ ❛ We are asleep until we fall in love! ❜ ❨163❩ ❛ I simply want to live; to cause no evil to anyone but myself. ❜ ❨164❩ ❛ Everything I know, I know because of love. ❜ ❨165❩ ❛ Man cannot possess anything as long as he fears death. But to him who does not fear it, everything belongs. ❜ ❨166❩ ❛ If there was no suffering, man would not know his limits, would not know himself. ❜ ❨167❩ ❛ Yes, love, but not the love that loves for something, to gain something, or because of something, but that love that I felt for the first time, when dying, I saw my enemy and yet loved him. ❜ ❨168❩ ❛ How can one be well...when one suffers morally? ❜ ❨169❩ ❛ Kings are the slaves of history. ❜ ❨170❩ ❛ God is the same everywhere. ❜ ❨171❩ ❛ Pure and complete sorrow is as impossible as pure and complete joy. ❜ ❨172❩ ❛ One must be cunning and wicked in this world. ❜ ❨173❩ ❛ We love people not so much for the good they've done us, as for the good we've done them. ❜ ❨174❩ ❛ When one's head is gone one doesn't weep over one's hair! ❜ ❨175❩ ❛ For what, for whom, must I kill and be killed? ❜ ❨176❩ ❛ He did what heroes do after their work is accomplished; he died. ❜ ❨177❩ ❛ Life is too long to say anything definitely; always say perhaps. ❜ ❨178❩ ❛ Everything ends in death, everything. Death is terrible. ❜ ❨179❩ ❛ The distant and impossible suddenly became near, possible, and inevitable. ❜ ❨180❩ ❛ How often we sin, how much we deceive, and all for what? ❜ ❨181❩ ❛ The wolves should be fed and the sheep kept safe. ❜ ❨182❩ ❛ When I was a child, adults would tell me not to make things up, warning me of what would happen if I did. ❜ ❨183❩ ❛ My memory is a patchwork of occurrences, of discontinuous events roughly sewn together: the parts I remember, I remember precisely, whilst other sections seem to have vanished completely. ❜ ❨184❩ ❛ Would it be worse to love someone who is no longer there, or not to love someone who is? ❜ ❨185❩ ❛ Like mirrors stories prepare us for the day to come. They distract us from the things in darkness. ❜ ❨186❩ ❛ It is not that I was credulous, simply that I believed in all things dark and dangerous. ❜ ❨187❩ ❛ Sometimes you do things you regret, but there's nothing you can do about them. Times change. Doors close behind you. You move on. ❜ ❨188❩ ❛ Love will be an impulse that will inspire and ruin in equal measure. ❜ ❨189❩ ❛ He died alone. It don't matter a rat's ass whether there was anyone with him or not. He died alone. ❜ ❨190❩ ❛ It was love, I knew, and it tasted like champagne in my mind. ❜ ❨191❩ ❛ The end of the world is a strange concept. The world is always ending, and the end is always being averted, by love or foolishness or just plain old dumb luck. ❜ ❨192❩ ❛ She was my dream; and if you touch a dream it vanishes, like a soap bubble. ❜ ❨193❩ ❛ Daylight is always safe. ❜ ❨194❩ ❛ If not for death, they'd be content to simply exist, but with death, well, their lives will have meaning. ❜ ❨195❩ ❛ You want to know the future, love? Then wait. ❜ ❨196❩ ❛ There are things in the darkness beneath us that wish us harm. ❜ ❨197❩ ❛ Fairy tales are more than true. Not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be defeated ❜ ❨198❩ ❛ But sometimes you leave blood on your instruments. ❜ ❨199❩ ❛ I'd like to be a wolf. Not all the time. Just sometimes. In the dark. I would run through the forests. ❜ ❨200❩ ❛ You've seen them. They have mouths that twitch, and eyes that stare, and they babble and they mewl and they whimper. ❜ ❨201❩ ❛ They are not mad, or rather, the loss of their sanity is the lesser of their problems. ❜ ❨202❩ ❛ Good a reason for writing as I know: releasing demons, letting them fly. ❜ ❨203❩ ❛ That miserable state in which everything seems flat and of equal importance; when nothing matters, and in which reality seems scraped thin and threadbare. ❜ ❨204❩ ❛ Someone had scrawled graffiti in black marker on the metal: JUST DIE, it said. Like it is easy. ❜ ❨205❩ ❛ Winter started today. The sky turned grey and the snow began to fall and it did not stop falling until well after dark. ❜ ❨206❩ ❛ Memory is the great deceiver. ❜ ❨207❩ ❛ Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way. ❜ ❨208❩ ❛ I may have lost my heart, but not my self-control.  ❜ ❨209❩ ❛ If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. ❜ ❨210❩ ❛ I always deserve the best treatment because I never put up with any other. ❜ ❨211❩ ❛ But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. ❜ ❨212❩ ❛ I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other would have borne it. ❜ ❨213❩ ❛ There are people, who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves. ❜ ❨214❩ ❛ One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other. ❜ ❨215❩ ❛ Better be without sense than misapply it as you do. ❜ ❨216❩ ❛ You must be the best judge of your own happiness. ❜ ❨217❩ ❛ Were I to fall in love, indeed, it would be a different thing ; but I have never been in love ; it is not my way, or my nature ; and I do not think I ever shall. ❜ ❨218❩ ❛ Indeed, I am very sorry to be right in this instance. I would much rather have been merry than wise. ❜ ❨219❩ ❛ If I have not spoken, it is because I am afraid I will awaken myself from this dream. ❜ ❨220❩ ❛ If a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. ❜ ❨221❩ ❛ Faultless in spite of all her faults. ❜ ❨222❩ ❛ A heroine whom no one but myself will much like. ❜ ❨223❩ ❛ There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart. ❜ ❨224❩ ❛ Full many a flower is born to blush unseen, and waste its fragrance on the desert air. ❜ ❨225❩ ❛ I pity you. I thought you cleverer. ❜ ❨226❩ ❛ Evil to some is always good to others. ❜ ❨227❩ ❛ I certainly will not persuade myself to feel more than I do. ❜ ❨228❩ ❛ She is loveliness itself. ❜ ❨229❩ ❛ Time does not compose me. ❜ ❨230❩ ❛ A man always imagines a woman to be ready for anybody who asks her. ❜ ❨231❩ ❛ I do not find myself making any use of the word sacrifice. ❜ ❨232❩ ❛ I am quite enough in love. I should be sorry to be any more. ❜ ❨233❩ ❛ I must tell you what you will not ask, though I may wish it unsaid the next moment. ❜ ❨234❩ ❛ I examined my own heart. And there you were. Never, I fear, to be removed. ❜ ❨235❩ ❛ With all your little faults, you are an excellent creature. ❜ ❨236❩ ❛ You have another long walk before you. ❜ ❨237❩ ❛ The child's laughter is pure until he first laughs at a clown. ❜ ❨238❩ ❛ What is marriage but prostitution to one man instead of many? ❜ ❨239❩ ❛ Out of the frying pan into the fire! ❜ ❨240❩ ❛ We must all make do with the rags of love we find flapping on the scarecrow of humanity. ❜ ❨241❩ ❛ She sleeps. And now she wakes each day a little less. ❜ ❨242❩ ❛ And, oh, God . . . how frequently I weep! ❜ ❨243❩ ❛ From the coffin of your madness there is no escape. ❜ ❨244❩ ❛ I am feeling supernatural tonight. I want to eat diamonds. ❜ ❨245❩ ❛ All the same there is a chance that if we keep on shaking our chains, one day, some day, the clasps upon the shackles will part. ❜ ❨246❩ ❛ It was sad music fit to make you cut your throat. ❜ ❨247❩ ❛ Nothing is more boring than being forced to play. ❜ ❨248❩ ❛ Amongst the monsters, I am well hidden; who looks for a leaf in a forest? ❜ ❨249❩ ❛ Wherein does a woman’s honour reside? In her vagina or in her spirit? ❜ ❨250❩ ❛ Perhaps...I could not be content with mere contentment! ❜ ❨251❩ ❛ Have you ever stared stark failure in the face? The trick is to outstare it. ❜ ❨252❩ ❛ Sometimes it seems that the faces exist of themselves, in a disembodied somewhere, waiting for the one who will wear them, who will bring them to life. ❜ ❨253❩ ❛ I have the febrile gaiety of a being without a past, without a present, yet I exist. ❜ ❨254❩ ❛ I felt myself turning, willy-nilly, from a woman into an idea. ❜ ❨255❩ ❛ She looks wonderful, but she doesn't look right. ❜ ❨256❩ ❛ The one-eyed man will be King in the country of the blind. ❜ ❨257❩ ❛ I raised you up to fly to the heavens, not to brood over a clutch of eggs! ❜ ❨258❩ ❛ I love to hear my bones rattle. That’s how I know I’m alive. ❜ ❨259❩ ❛ I learnt, first, as the birds do, from the birds. ❜ ❨260❩ ❛ Inside and outside match exactly, but both are badly wrong. ❜ ❨261❩ ❛ During the less-than-blink of time it took the last chime to die, there came a vertiginous sensation. ❜ ❨262❩ ❛ I fear a wound not of the body but the soul, an irreconcilable division between myself and the rest of humankind. ❜ ❨263❩ ❛ I fear the proof of my own singularity. ❜ ❨264❩ ❛ Still nothing could calm the fearful storm in my erupting skin. ❜ ❨265❩ ❛ Petersburg, loveliest of all hallucinations. ❜ ❨266❩ ❛ A breathless second between black forest and the frozen sea. ❜ ❨267❩ ❛ I'm beginning to feel totally cut off from the world. ❜ ❨268❩ ❛ What does this all mean? Where are we? ❜ ❨269❩ ❛ Sometimes I bleed. ❜ ❨270❩ ❛ If you see a ghost, you say "hello". ❜ ❨271❩ ❛ The war is not over. ❜ ❨272❩ ❛ You're not going. You left us once already. ❜ ❨273❩ ❛ You can’t go! ❜ ❨274❩ ❛ I loved you, but that wasn't enough, was it? ❜ ❨275❩ ❛ If you're dead, then leave me in peace. ❜ ❨276❩ ❛ The only thing that moves here is the light, but it changes everything. ❜ ❨277❩ ❛ I won't ask for forgiveness for something I didn't do! ❜ ❨278❩ ❛ Sometimes the world of the living gets mixed up with the world of the dead. ❜ ❨279❩ ❛ Death of a loved one can lead people to do the strangest things. ❜ ❨280❩ ❛ Sooner or later, they will find you. ❜ ❨281❩ ❛ They're everywhere - they say this house is theirs. ❜ ❨282❩ ❛ You're always teasing me, and telling lies. I'm sick of it. ❜ ❨283❩ ❛ Others will come. Sometimes we'll sense them. Other times, we won't. ❜ ❨284❩ ❛ No crying now. No crying. Stop that. Here. Look what an awful face you've got when you cry. ❜ ❨285❩ ❛ You listen to me. I've seen them too. ❜ ❨286❩ ❛ You'll see. There are going to be some big surprises. There are going to be... changes. ❜ ❨287❩ ❛ Why did you go and fight that stupid war that had nothing to do with us? Why didn't you stay like the others did? ❜ ❨288❩ ❛ Your place was here with your family. ❜ ❨289❩ ❛ So you say you know this house well? ❜ ❨290❩ ❛ I wasn't expecting you so soon. ❜ ❨291❩ ❛ What's the matter? Has the cat got your tongue? ❜ ❨292❩ ❛ You mean they just vanished? Into thin air? ❜ ❨293❩ ❛ No door must be opened without the previous one being closed first. ❜ ❨294❩ ❛ Here, most of the time, you can hardly see your way. ❜ ❨295❩ ❛ Whatever you do, don't open the curtains. ❜ ❨296❩ ❛ Now, come on. Eyes closed. ❜ ❨297❩ ❛ We start off with high hopes, then we bottle it. We realise that we’re all going to die, without really finding out the big answers. ❜ ❨298❩ ❛ By definition, you have to live until you die. Better to make that life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be. ❜ ❨299❩ ❛ I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin’ else. ❜ ❨300❩ ❛ And the reasons? There are no reasons. ❜ ❨301❩ ❛ Love does not exist, it's like religion, made to control you. ❜ ❨302❩ ❛ After all, we're not fucking stupid. At least, we're not that fucking stupid. ❜ ❨303❩ ❛ You fucking knew that fucking cunt would fuck some cunt. ❜ ❨304❩ ❛ Everything in the street today seems soft focus. ❜ ❨305❩ ❛ What does that make us? The lowest of the low. ❜ ❨306❩ ❛ Take your best orgasm, multiply the feeling by twenty, and you're still fuckin’ miles off the pace. ❜ ❨307❩ ❛ It’s as if everything is a copy of what you knew before, similar, yet somehow lacking in its usual qualities, a bit like the way things are in a dream. ❜ ❨308❩ ❛ It’s all okay, it’s all beautiful; but I fear that this internal sea is going to subside soon, leaving this poisonous shite washed up, stranded up in my body. ❜ ❨309❩ ❛ It cuts me up. It confuses me. ❜ ❨310❩ ❛ It's not funny laughter. This is lynch mob laughter. ❜ ❨311❩ ❛ Protect me from those who wish to help us. ❜ ❨312❩ ❛ They mean well, and they mean well to me, but there's no way under the sun that they can appreciate what I feel, what I need. ❜ ❨313❩ ❛ The pit of melancholy is a bottomless one, and I am descending fast. ❜ ❨314❩ ❛ Living like this is a full-time business. ❜ ❨315❩ ❛ I’ll stand or fall alone. ❜ ❨316❩ ❛ We are no wiser now than at the start. ❜ ❨317❩ ❛ This is pathetic, and fucking boring. ❜ ❨318❩ ❛ Death is usually a process, rather than an event. ❜ ❨319❩ ❛ We're ruled by effete arseholes. What does that make us? ❜ ❨320❩ ❛ We are all acquaintances now. ❜ ❨321❩ ❛ The problem is that this beautiful ocean carries with it loads of poisonous flotsam and jetsam. ❜ ❨322❩ ❛ Life is beautiful. I'm going to enjoy it, and I'm going to have a long life. ❜ ❨323❩ ❛ The grim reality of impending death can be talked away by trying to invest in the present reality of life. ❜ ❨324❩ ❛ There must be more to life than this. ❜ ❨325❩ ❛ We all see what we want to see. ❜ ❨326❩ ❛ Statistically speaking, you're more likely to be killed by a member of your own family or a close friend, than by anyone else. ❜ ❨327❩ ❛ What am I living for and what am I dying for are the same question. ❜ ❨328❩ ❛ Maybe that's what love is: it's being pissed off. ❜ ❨329❩ ❛ You can forget who you are if you're alone too much. ❜ ❨330❩ ❛ Any religion is a shadow of God. But the shadows of God are not God. ❜ ❨331❩ ❛ Human understanding is fallible, and we see through a glass, darkly.  ❜ ❨332❩ ❛ We must be a beacon of hope, because if you tell people there's nothing they can do, they will do worse than nothing. ❜ ❨333❩ ❛ Everyone wants to feel like a princess, and princesses are selfish and overbearing. ❜ ❨334❩ ❛ We shouldn't have been so scornful; we should have had compassion. But compassion takes work, and we were young. ❜ ❨335❩ ❛ How easy it is, treachery. You just slide into it. ❜ ❨336❩ ❛ Amazing how the heart clutches at anything familiar, whimpering: Mine! Mine! ❜ ❨337❩ ❛ All creatures know that some must die ; that all the rest may take and eat. ❜ ❨338❩ ❛ Is this the image of a god? My tooth for yours, your eye for mine? ❜ ❨339❩ ❛ Without the light, no chance; without the dark, no dance. ❜ ❨340❩ ❛ Why are we designed to see the world as supremely beautiful just as we're about to be snuffed? Do rabbits feel the same as the fox teeth bite down on their necks? Is it mercy? ❜ ❨341❩ ❛ Love is useless, it leads you into dumb exchanges in which you give too much away, and then you get bitter and mean. ❜ ❨342❩ ❛ Maybe sadness is a kind of hunger. Maybe the two go together. ❜ ❨343❩ ❛ Now I can see how that can happen. You can fall in love with anybody -- a fool, a criminal, a nothing. There are no good rules. ❜ ❨344❩ ❛ If you really want to stay the same age you are now forever and ever, try jumping off the roof: death's a sure-fire method for stopping time. ❜ ❨345❩ ❛ You couldn’t leave words lying around where our enemies might find them. ❜ ❨346❩ ❛ I'm fine, for the moment. And the moment is the only time we can be fine in. ❜ ❨347❩ ❛ Because if you can't wish, why bother? ❜ ❨348❩ ❛ It's better to hope than mope! ❜ ❨349❩ ❛ Reality has too much darkness in it. Too many crows. ❜ ❨350❩ ❛ In any case, time is not a thing that passes, it’s a sea on which you float. ❜ ❨351❩ ❛ I know I’m deceiving myself, but I prefer to deceive myself. I desperately need to believe such pure joy is still possible. ❜ ❨352❩ ❛ Too much God and you overdose. God needs to be filtered. ❜ ❨353❩ ❛ Behind my eyelids I saw an animal. It was golden colour, with gentle green eyes and canine teeth, and curly wool instead of fur. It opened its mouth, but it did not speak. Instead, it yawned. ❜ ❨354❩ ❛ ‘Why can't I believe?’ I asked the darkness. ❜ ❨355❩ ❛ Everyone’s too sad for everything. ❜ ❨356❩ ❛ If you can’t stop the waves, go sailing. ❜ ❨357❩ ❛ I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary. ❜ ❨358❩ ❛ Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them. ❜ ❨359❩ ❛ In the end, we'll all become stories. ❜ ❨360❩ ❛ I am inadequate and stupid, without worth. I might as well be dead. ❜ ❨361❩ ❛ If you knew what was going to happen, if you knew everything that was going to happen next—if you knew in advance the consequences of your own actions—you'd be doomed. You'd be ruined as God. ❜ ❨362❩ ❛ If you can't go through an obstacle, go around it. ❜ ❨363❩ ❛ Stupidity is the same as evil if you judge by the results. ❜ ❨364❩ ❛ Time in dreams is frozen. You can never get away from where you've been. ❜ ❨365❩ ❛ Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? ❜ ❨366❩ ❛ We still think of a powerful man as a born leader and a powerful woman as an anomaly. ❜ ❨367❩ ❛ If I love you, is that a fact or a weapon? ❜ ❨368❩ ❛ You fit into me like a hook into an eye. ❜ ❨369❩ ❛ Knowing too much about other people puts you in their power, they have a claim on you, you are forced to understand their reasons for doing things and then you are weakened. ❜ ❨370❩ ❛ Farewells can be shattering, but returns are surely worse. ❜ ❨371❩ ❛ Women have curious ways of hurting someone else. ❜ ❨372❩ ❛ This is the one song everyone would like to learn: the song that is irresistible: the song that forces men to leap overboard in squadrons. ❜ ❨373❩ ❛ Get rid of death. Make it be spring. ❜ ❨374❩ ❛ You are innocent as a bathtub full of bullets. ❜ ❨375❩ ❛ I am the space you desecrate as you pass through. ❜ ❨376❩ ❛ Favour me and give me riches, destroy my enemies. Save me from death. ❜ ❨377❩ ❛ She is a raw voice loose in the rooms beneath me. ❜ ❨378❩ ❛ Isn't the moon warm enough for you, why do you need the blanket of another body? ❜ ❨379❩ ❛ This is a torch song. Touch me and you'll burn. ❜ ❨380❩ ❛ If you look long enough eventually you will see me. ❜ ❨381❩ ❛ I would like to sleep with you, to enter your sleep as its smooth dark wave slides over my head. ❜ ❨382❩ ❛ I would like to give you the silver branch, the small white flower, the one word that will protect you from the grief. ❜ ❨383❩ ❛ But some people can't tell where it hurts. They can't calm down. They can't ever stop howling. ❜ ❨384❩ ❛ How else can we live, these days, except in the midst of ruin? ❜ ❨385❩ ❛ What am I living for and what am I dying for are the same question. ❜ ❨386❩ ❛ Gods always come in handy, they justify almost anything. ❜ ❨387❩ ❛ We loved with a love that was more than love. ❜ ❨388❩ ❛ Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ❜ ❨389❩ ❛ The boundaries which divide life from death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins? ❜ ❨390❩ ❛ There is no exquisite beauty without some strangeness in the proportion. ❜ ❨391❩ ❛ Never to suffer would never to have been blessed. ❜ ❨392❩ ❛ Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear. ❜ ❨393❩ ❛ And all I loved, I loved alone. ❜ ❨394❩ ❛ Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute. ❜ ❨395❩ ❛ The best things in life make you sweaty. ❜ ❨396❩ ❛ There are some secrets which do not permit themselves to be told. ❜ ❨397❩ ❛ Anything is better than this agony. ❜ ❨398❩ ❛ You fancy me mad. ❜ ❨399❩ ❛ I hear all things in the heaven and in the earth. ❜ ❨400❩ ❛ Who dares insult us with this blasphemous mockery? ❜ ❨401❩ ❛ Leave my loneliness unbroken! ❜ ❨402❩ ❛ A more than fiendish malevolence, gin-nurtured, thrills every fibre of my frame. ❜ ❨403❩ ❛ The fury of a demon instantly possessed me. I knew myself no longer. ❜ ❨404❩ ❛ Let my heart be still a moment. ❜ ❨405❩ ❛ You call it hope —  It is but agony of desire. ❜ ❨406❩ ❛ Who has not, a hundred times, found himself committing a vile or silly action for no other reason than because he knows he should not? ❜ ❨407❩ ❛ To die laughing must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths! ❜ ❨408❩ ❛ The beating of a drum stimulates the soldier into courage. ❜ ❨409❩ ❛ Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive. ❜ ❨410❩ ❛ I have been happy, though in a dream. ❜ ❨411❩ ❛ Nevermore. ❜ ❨412❩ ❛ The truth is, I am heartily sick of this life. ❜ ❨413❩ ❛ I am convinced that every thing is going wrong. ❜ ❨414❩ ❛ The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk within our souls. ❜ ❨415❩ ❛ And if I died, at least I will have died for you! ❜ ❨416❩ ❛ It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain; but once conceived, it haunted me day and night. ❜ ❨417❩ ❛ Hurt and humiliation — But this, I can not take. ❜ ❨418❩ ❛ The walls in there have ears. ❜ ❨419❩ ❛ This is for your ears only. ❜ ❨420❩ ❛ What is it? You have me scared. ❜ ❨421❩ ❛ Whoever isn’t for us, is against us. ❜ ❨422❩ ❛ You are just a body; to be dumped, disposed of like a carcass, left out for the birds to feed on. ❜ ❨423❩ ❛ The dead will have to forgive me. ❜ ❨424❩ ❛ From now on and no matter how your mind may I change, I will not accept your help. ❜ ❨425❩ ❛ If death comes, so be it. There will be glory in it. ❜ ❨426❩ ❛ Live, then; and live with your choice. ❜ ❨427❩ ❛ I am doing what has to be done. ❜ ❨428❩ ❛ Nothing is going to stop the ones that love you from keeping on loving you. ❜ ❨429❩ ❛ Worst is the man who has all the good advice, and then because his nerve fails, fails to act in accordance with it, as a leader should. ❜ ❨430❩ ❛ Only a loony would walk himself into this. ❜ ❨431❩ ❛ Why do you need such fences and defences? ❜ ❨432❩ ❛ Enough. Do not anger me. ❜ ❨433❩ ❛ The gods, you think, will side with the likes of him? ❜ ❨434❩ ❛ Watch it. You are over stepping. ❜ ❨435❩ ❛ I warn you. You should keep a civil tongue. ❜ ❨436❩ ❛ There is no such thing as an oath the can not be broken. ❜ ❨437❩ ❛ Every now and then, the things you’d hardly let yourself imagine, actually happen. ❜ ❨438❩ ❛ And you stand over this? This is the truth? ❜ ❨439❩ ❛ The bigger the resistance, the bigger the collapse. ❜ ❨440❩ ❛ Iron that’s forged the hardest, snaps the quickest. ❜ ❨441❩ ❛ Even the wildest horses come to heel when they are reined & bitted right. ❜ ❨442❩ ❛ That’s how guilt affects some people. They break and everything comes out. ❜ ❨443❩ ❛ Will it be enough for you? To see me executed? ❜ ❨444❩ ❛ So you know something no one else knows? ❜ ❨445❩ ❛ They know it too. They are just too afraid to say it. ❜ ❨446❩ ❛ If you die, how will I keep on living? ❜ ❨447❩ ❛ There was a star riding through clouds one night, & I said to the star, 'Consume me'. ❜ ❨448❩ ❛ How much better to sit by myself like the solitary sea-bird that opens its wings on the stake. ❜ ❨449❩ ❛ Alone, I often fall down into nothingness. I have to bang my head against some hard door to call myself back to the body. ❜ ❨450❩ ❛ I am made and remade continually. Different people draw different words from me. ❜ ❨451❩ ❛ For this moment, this one moment, we are together.  ❜ ❨452❩ ❛ Come, pain, feed on me. Bury your fangs in my flesh. Tear me asunder. ❜ ❨453❩ ❛ I am as neat as a cat in my habits. ❜ ❨454❩ ❛ Everything falls in a tremendous shower, dissolving me. ❜ ❨455❩ ❛ I am the foam that sweeps and fills the uttermost rims of the rocks with whiteness; I am also a girl, here in this room. ❜ ❨456❩ ❛ We are cut, we are fallen. We are become part of that unfeeling universe ❨457❩ that sleeps when we are at our quickest and burns red when we lie ❨458❩ asleep. ❜ ❨459❩ ❛ These moments of escape are not to be despised. They come too seldom. ❜ ❨460❩ ❛ Up here my eyes are green leaves, unseeing. ❜ ❨461❩ ❛ The moment is all; the moment is enough. ❜ ❨462❩ ❛ I do not want to be admired. I want to give, to be given. ❜ ❨463❩ ❛ I am not one and simple, but complex and many. ❜ ❨464❩ ❛ And if you are dead, I shall weep. ❜ ❨465❩ ❛ But beauty must be broken daily to remain beautiful. ❜ ❨466❩ ❛ But our hatred is almost indistinguishable from our love. ❜ ❨467❩ ❛ I desired always to stretch the night and fill it fuller and fuller with dreams. ❜ ❨468❩ ❛ Life is a dream surely. ❜ ❨469❩ ❛ I think sometimes I am not a woman, but the light that falls on this gate, on this ground. I am the seasons, I think sometimes, January, May, November; the mud, the mist, the dawn. ❜ ❨470❩ ❛ Oh, I am in love with life! ❜ ❨471❩ ❛ I have been knotted; I have been torn apart. ❜ ❨472❩ ❛ There was no freedom in life, and certainly there was none in death. ❜ ❨473❩ ❛ I do not know. I do not know myself sometimes, or how to measure and name and count out the grains that make me what I am. ❜ ❨474❩ ❛ I ride rough waters, and shall sink with no one to save me. ❜ ❨475❩ ❛ I am above the earth now. I am no longer upright, to be knocked against and damaged. ❜ ❨476❩ ❛ I see it all. I feel it all. ❜ ❨477❩ ❛ Death is woven in with the violets. Death and again death. ❜ ❨478❩ ❛ We have been walking for hours it seems. But where? I cannot remember. ❜ ❨479❩ ❛ If we were all on trial for our thoughts, we would all be hanged. ❜ ❨480❩ ❛ When you are in the middle of a story it isn't a story at all, but only a confusion; a dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered glass. ❜ ❨481❩ ❛ Murderess is a strong word to have attached to you. It has a smell to it, that word; - musky and oppressive, like dead flowers in a vase.  ❜ ❨482❩ ❛ Sometimes at night I whisper it over to myself: Murderess, murderess. It rustles, like a taffeta skirt across the floor. ❜ ❨483❩ ❛ If the world treats you well, you come to believe you are deserving of it. ❜ ❨484❩ ❛ If I am good enough and quiet enough, perhaps after all they will let me go. ❜ ❨485❩ ❛ It’s not easy being quiet and good, it’s like hanging on to the edge of a bridge when you’ve already fallen over; you don’t seem to be moving, just dangling there, and yet it is taking all your strength. ❜ ❨486❩ ❛ There is no fool like an educated fool. ❜ ❨487❩ ❛ There are many dangerous things that may take place in a bed. ❜ ❨488❩ ❛ I am afraid of falling into hopeless despair, over my wasted life, and I am still not sure how it happened. ❜ ❨489❩ ❛ Underneath it all is another feeling, a feeling of being wide-eyed awake and watchful. ❜ ❨490❩ ❛ And underneath all that is another feeling still, a feeling like being torn open; not like a body of flesh, it is not painful as such, but like a peach; and not even torn open, but ripe and splitting open of its own accord.  ❜ ❨491❩ ❛ The small details of life often hide a great significance. ❜ ❨492❩ ❛ Guilt comes to you not from the things you've done, but from the things that others have done to you. ❜ ❨493❩ ❛ I wonder, how can I be all of these different things at once? ❜ ❨494❩ ❛ It is always a mistake to curse back openly at those who are stronger than you unless there is a fence between. ❜ ❨495❩ ❛ Some call this "Eve's curse," but I think that is stupid because the real curse of Eve was having to put up with the nonsense of Adam. ❜ ❨496❩ ❛ I don't know why they are all so eager to be remembered. What good will it do them? There are some things that should be forgotten by everyone, and never spoken of again. ❜ ❨497❩ ❛ I would never blame a human creature for feeling lonely. ❜ ❨498❩ ❛ If they want a monster so badly they ought to be provided by one. ❜ ❨499❩ ❛ It’s as if I never existed, because no trace of me remains, I have left no marks. And that way I cannot be followed. It is almost the same as being innocent. ❜ ❨500❩ ❛ Today you wear your habitual expression of strained anxiety; you smell of violets. ❜ ❨501❩ ❛ Of course you have always been an idealist, and filled with your optimistic dreams; but reality must at some time obtrude. ❜ ❨502❩ ❛ I wonder what would become of me, and comfort myself that in a hundred years I will be dead and at peace. ❜ ❨503❩ ❛ For it is not always the one that strikes the blow that is the actual murderer. ❜ ❨504❩ ❛ There is a “do this” or “do that” with God, but not any “because”. ❜ ❨505❩ ❛ If you have a need and they find it out, they will use it against you. The best way is to stop from wanting anything. ❜ ❨506❩ ❛ They say, why don’t you ever smile or laugh, we never see you smiling, and I say I suppose I have gotten out of the way of it, my face won’t bend in that direction any more. ❜ ❨507❩ ❛ I was shut up inside that doll of myself, and my true voice could not get out. ❜ ❨508❩ ❛ I see what you’re after. You are a collector. You think all you have to do is give me an apple, and then you can collect me. ❜ ❨509❩ ❛ If you want to be an asshole, it's a free country. Millions before you have made the same life choice. ❜ ❨510❩ ❛ Then there's the future. Sheer vertigo. ❜ ❨511❩ ❛ Nature is to zoos as God is to churches. ❜ ❨512❩ ❛ After everything that's happened, how can the world still be so beautiful? ❜ ❨513❩ ❛ There's something to be said for hunger: at least it lets you know you're still alive. ❜ ❨514❩ ❛ These things sneak up on me for no reason, these flashes of irrational happiness. It's probably a vitamin deficiency. ❜ ❨515❩ ❛ Toast cannot be explained by any rational means. Toast is me. I am toast. ❜ ❨516❩ ❛ You can’t buy it, but it has a price. Everything has a price. ❜ ❨517❩ ❛ As a species were doomed by hope, then? You could call it hope. That, or desperation. ❜ ❨518❩ ❛ I am not my childhood. ❜ ❨519❩ ❛ Human beings hope they can stick their souls into someone else and live on forever. ❜ ❨520❩ ❛ “I'll make you mine”, lovers said in old books. They never said, “I'll make you me.” ❜ ❨521❩ ❛ How much is too much, how far is too far? ❜ ❨522❩ ❛ Expectation isn't the same as desire. ❜ ❨523❩ ❛ Why not cut to the chase? ❜ ❨524❩ ❛ Maybe there aren't any solutions. Human society, corpses and rubble. ❜ ❨525❩ ❛ I thought you didn’t believe in God. ❜ ❨526❩ ❛ I need at least the illusion of being understood. ❜ ❨527❩ ❛ What change would have altered the course of events? In the big picture, nothing. In the small picture, so much. ❜ ❨528❩ ❛ You are only looking at the dirt under your feet. It's not good for you. ❜ ❨529❩ ❛ I like to keep only the bright side of myself turned towards you.  ❜ ❨530❩ ❛ Grief in the face of inevitable death. The wish to stop time. The human condition. ❜ ❨531❩ ❛ So many crucial events take place behind people’s backs, when they aren’t in a position to watch: birth and death, for instance. ❜ ❨532❩ ❛ Would you kill someone you loved to spare them pain? ❜ ❨533❩ ❛ When the water’s moving faster than the boat, you can’t control a thing. ❜ ❨534❩ ❛ Don't be so fucking sentimental. ❜ ❨535❩ ❛ Wrong, as usual. ❜ ❨536❩ ❛ Why do you want to talk about ugly things? ❜ ❨537❩ ❛ I understand why serial killers send helpful clues to the police. ❜ ❨538❩ ❛ Take your time, leave mine alone. ❜ ❨539❩ ❛ You will hear thunder and remember me. ❜ ❨540❩ ❛ If you were music, I would listen to you ceaselessly. ❜ ❨541❩ ❛ I seem to myself an accidental guest in this dreadful body. ❜ ❨542❩ ❛ Call me a sinner, mock me maliciously. ❜ ❨543❩ ❛ I, from the very beginning, seemed to myself like someone's dream or delirium. Or a reflection in someone else's mirror. Without flesh, without meaning, without a name. ❜ ❨544❩ ❛ I knew the list of crimes that I was destined to commit. ❜ ❨545❩ ❛ The future ripens in the past, so the past rots in the future. ❜ ❨546❩ ❛ You are untranslatable into any one tongue. ❜ ❨547❩ ❛ I was hoping my silence would fit yours. ❜ ❨548❩ ❛ See, we were never about butterflies. All about us is unearthly and radiant. ❜ ❨549❩ ❛ You do not know just what you've been forgiven. ❜ ❨550❩ ❛ I need to slaughter my memory.  ❜ ❨551❩ ❛ Forgive me that I appeared to you in waking dreams. ❜ ❨552❩ ❛ I will condemn, I will forget, I will give comfort to the enemy. ❜ ❨553❩ ❛ I know beginnings, I know endings too, and life-in-death. ❜ ❨554❩ ❛ Wild honey smells of freedom. But gold smells of nothing. ❜ ❨555❩ ❛ You are three times more beautiful than angels. ❜ ❨556❩ ❛ I will kill you without spilling your blood on the ground, not touching you with my hand, not giving you one glance. ❜ ❨557❩ ❛ You invented me. There is no such earthly being. ❜ ❨558❩ ❛ You’re late. Way too late. I’m glad to see you, nonetheless. ❜ ❨559❩ ❛ Forgive me that I felt forsaken. Forgive me that I kept mistaking too many others for you. ❜ ❨560❩ ❛ Real tenderness can’t be confused, it’s quiet and can’t be heard. ❜ ❨561❩ ❛ What else lived in that house besides us? ❜ ❨562❩ ❛ How unhappy we are together! ❜ ❨563❩ ❛ I defend not my voice, but my silence. ❜ ❨564❩ ❛ Without love, I'm more at ease, I'm sure. ❜ ❨565❩ ❛ I've got no more tears or explanations. ❜ ❨566❩ ❛ I’m not complaining. Happiness is not for me. ❜ ❨567❩ ❛ Are you not the only tie between good and evil, earthly pits and paradise? ❜ ❨568❩ ❛ In the morning we shall find out who has died in the night. ❜ ❨569❩ ❛ I was not a lovable child, and I've grown into a deeply unlovable adult. ❜ ❨570❩ ❛ The truly frightening flaw in humanity is our capacity for cruelty - we all have it. ❜ ❨571❩ ❛ I have a meanness inside me, real as an organ. Slit me at my belly and it might slide out, meaty and dark. ❜ ❨572❩ ❛ I am not angry or sad or happy to see you. I could not give a shit. You don't even ripple. ❜ ❨573❩ ❛ I was raised feral, and I mostly stayed that way. ❜ ❨574❩ ❛ I can feel a better version of me somewhere in there - hidden behind a liver or attached to a bit of spleen. But the meanness usually wins out. ❜ ❨575❩ ❛ I felt something loosen in me, that shouldn't have loosened. A stitch come undone. ❜ ❨576❩ ❛ Everyone who keeps a secret, itches to tell it. ❜ ❨577❩ ❛ Coffee goes great with sudden death. ❜ ❨578❩ ❛ I should just listen to my gut and then do the opposite. ❜ ❨579❩ ❛ “Smile, it can't be that bad!” Yeah, actually, it can, jackwad. ❜ ❨580❩ ❛ Everything bad in the world already did happen. ❜ ❨581❩ ❛ You’re going to find peace? Like knowing is somehow going to fix you? ❜ ❨582❩ ❛ Instead of asking yourself what happened, just accept that it happened. ❜ ❨583❩ ❛ Homesick for a place I've never been. ❜ ❨584❩ ❛ Worries find you easily enough without inviting them. ❜ ❨585❩ ❛ It is always consoling to think of suicide. It's what gets one through many a bad night. ❜ ❨586❩ ❛ Do you understand this is serious? ❜ ❨587❩ ❛ Sometimes it feels good to fuck with something. Instead of always being fucked with. ❜ ❨588❩ ❛ How could you kill something you cared enough to name? ❜ ❨589❩ ❛ Draw a picture of my soul, and it’d be a scribble with fangs. ❜ ❨590❩ ❛ We have the same chemicals in our blood: shame, anger, greed. Unjustified nostalgia. ❜ ❨591❩ ❛ I appreciate a straightforward apology the way a tone-deaf person enjoys a fine piece of music. ❜ ❨592❩ ❛ The phrase fuck you may not rest on the tip of my tongue, but it’s near. Midtongue. ❜ ❨593❩ ❛ Nothing to it but to do it. ❜ ❨594❩ ❛ There are a lot of people who deserve a lesson, deserve to really understand, that nothing comes easy, that most things are going to go sour. ❜ ❨595❩ ❛ If ifs and buts were candies and nuts we’d all have a very Merry Christmas. ❜ ❨596❩ ❛ Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. ❜ ❨597❩ ❛ What does it do to a girl who knows her mother is a murderer? ❜ ❨598❩ ❛ That mean old bitch across the street bit it. ❜ ❨599❩ ❛ Survival is a talent. ❜ ❨600❩ ❛ Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It’s you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. ❜ ❨601❩ ❛ Who has the courage to burn themselves? ❜ ❨602❩ ❛ Is insanity just a matter of dropping the act? ❜ ❨603❩ ❛ Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? ❜ ❨604❩ ❛ You need to be well fed, clothed, and housed to have time for this much self-pity. ❜ ❨605❩ ❛ When I am supposed to be awake, I am asleep; when I am supposed to speak, I am silent. When a pleasure offers itself to me, I avoid it. ❜ ❨606❩ ❛ There is thought, and then there is thinking about thoughts, and they don't feel the same. ❜ ❨607❩ ❛ In a strange way we are free. We've reached the end of the line. We have nothing more to lose. ❜ ❨608❩ ❛ The world won’t stop because we aren’t in it anymore. ❜ ❨609❩ ❛ I can't answer the real question. All I can tell you is, it's easy. ❜ ❨610❩ ❛ I am lighter, airier than I’ve been in years. ❜ ❨611❩ ❛ I am not dead, yet something in me definitely is. ❜ ❨612❩ ❛ You meant that as an insult but I am taking it as a compliment. ❜ ❨613❩ ❛ What life can recover from that? ❜ ❨614❩ ❛ It's a fairly accurate portrait of me. It's accurate but it isn't profound. ❜ ❨615❩ ❛ Pull yourself together! There's nothing wrong with you. ❜ ❨616❩ ❛ It's quiet. It's like― I don't know. It's like falling off a cliff. ❜ ❨617❩ ❛ Once you start parsing a face, it's a peculiar item: squishy, pointy, with lots of air vents and wet spots. ❜ ❨618❩ ❛ I lost him. I did it on purpose. ❜ ❨619❩ ❛ It’s a mean world. There’s nobody to take care of you out there. ❜ ❨620❩ ❛ Reality is getting too dense. ❜ ❨621❩ ❛ I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favourite word. ❜ ❨622❩ ❛ I can't come up with reassuring answers to the terrible questions you raise. ❜ ❨623❩ ❛ A spring day, the sort that gives people hope: all soft winds and delicate smells of warm earth. Suicide weather. ❜ ❨624❩ ❛ Twenty-five chocolate chip cookies would be the perfect dinner. ❜ ❨625❩ ❛ A thought is a hard thing to control. ❜ ❨626❩ ❛ Life demands skills I don’t have. ❜ ❨627❩ ❛ Light like this does not exist, but we wish it did. We wish the sun could make us young and beautiful. Most of all, we wish that everyone we knew could be brightened simply by our looking at them. ❜ ❨628❩ ❛ It never stops, even at night, it’s my lullaby. ❜ ❨629❩ ❛ Love blurs your vision; but after it recedes, you can see more clearly than ever. ❜ ❨630❩ ❛ This is the kind of thing you see if you sit in the darkness with open eyes. ❜ ❨631❩ ❛ I have done something wrong, something so huge I can't even see it, something that's drowning me. ❜ ❨632❩ ❛ Whatever is happening to me is my own fault. ❜ ❨633❩ ❛ Hatred is easier. Hatred is clear, metallic, one-handed, unwavering; unlike love. ❜ ❨634❩ ❛ Potential has a shelf life. ❜ ❨635❩ ❛ Don’t move. Stay like that, let me have that. ❜ ❨636❩ ❛ I have come to the edge, of the land. I could get pushed over. ❜ ❨637❩ ❛ Never pray for justice, because you might get some. ❜ ❨638❩ ❛ It disturbs me to learn I have hurt someone unintentionally. I want all my hurts to be intentional. ❜ ❨639❩ ❛ We have been shark to one another, but also lifeboat. That counts for something. ❜ ❨640❩ ❛ This is what I miss, not something that’s gone, but something that will never happen. ❜ ❨641❩ ❛ I am not good. I know too much to be good. I know myself. I know myself to be vengeful, greedy, secretive and sly. ❜ ❨642❩ ❛ You are amazing. Amazing and agonising and almost lethal. ❜ ❨643❩ ❛ In my dreams of this city I am always lost. ❜ ❨644❩ ❛ I don't know where these feelings have come from, I don’t know what I've done. ❜ ❨645❩ ❛ I am not the centre of your story, you are.  ❜ ❨646❩ ❛ I’m mad because you’re an asshole. ❜ ❨647❩ ❛ It's enormously pleasing to me, walking away. It's like being able to make people appear and vanish, at will. ❜ ❨648❩ ❛ There is never only one of anyone. ❜ ❨649❩ ❛ I can't do this without feeling I'm acting. ❜ ❨650❩ ❛ I am prepared for almost anything; except absence, except silence. ❜ ❨651❩ ❛ I’m losing my appetite for strangers. ❜ ❨652❩ ❛ You wear your cravings on the outside, like the suckers on a squid. You want it all. ❜ ❨653❩ ❛ Knowing too much about other people weakens you. You are forced to understand their reasons for doing things. ❜ ❨654❩ ❛ I have lost confidence: perhaps all I will ever be is what I am now. ❜ ❨655❩ ❛ Echoes of light, shining out of the midst of nothing. It's old light, and there's not much of it. But it's enough to see by. ❜ ❨656❩ ❛ Whoever cares the most will lose. ❜ ❨657❩ ❛ Young women need unfairness, it’s one of their few defences.  ❜ ❨658❩ ❛ Time has gone on without you. ❜ ❨659❩ ❛ Don't let the bastards grind you down. ❜ ❨660❩ ❛ Who can remember pain, once it’s over? Pain marks you, but too deep to see. Out of sight, out of mind. ❜ ❨661❩ ❛ Better never means better for everyone. It always means worse, for some. ❜ ❨662❩ ❛ There is more than one kind of freedom. Freedom to and freedom from. ❜ ❨663❩ ❛ Remember that forgiveness too is a power. ❜ ❨664❩ ❛ I am not your justification for existence. ❜ ❨665❩ ❛ I want to be valued, in ways that I am not; I want to be more than valuable. ❜ ❨666❩ ❛ If it's a story I'm telling, then I have control over the ending. ❜ ❨667❩ ❛ All you have to do is keep your mouth shut and look stupid. It shouldn't be that hard. ❜ ❨668❩ ❛ Truly amazing, what people can get used to, as long as there are a few compensations. ❜ ❨669❩ ❛ I want everything back, the way it was. ❜ ❨670❩ ❛ You can't help what you feel, but you can help how you behave. ❜ ❨671❩ ❛ Nothing changes instantaneously: in a gradually heating bathtub you'd be boiled to death before you knew it. ❜ ❨672❩ ❛ To want is to have a weakness. ❜ ❨673❩ ❛ There isn't even an enemy you could put your finger on. ❜ ❨674❩ ❛ The past is a great darkness, filled with echoes. ❜ ❨675❩ ❛ Ordinary is what you are used to. This may not seem ordinary to you now, but after a time it will. It will become ordinary. ❜ ❨676❩ ❛ I wish this story were different. I wish it were more civilised. I wish it showed me in a better light. ❜ ❨677❩ ❛ The night is mine, my own time, to do with it as I will, as long as I am quiet. As long as I don't move. As long as I lie still. ❜ ❨678❩ ❛ By telling you anything at all I'm at least believing in you. ❜ ❨679❩ ❛ Whatever is silenced will clamour to be heard. ❜ ❨680❩ ❛ Don't worry about forgiving me right now. There are more important things. ❜ ❨681❩ ❛ Keep the others safe. Don't let them suffer too much. If they have to die, let it be fast. ❜ ❨682❩ ❛ The body is so easily damaged, so easily disposed of, water and chemicals is all it is, hardly more to it than a jellyfish, drying on sand. ❜ ❨683❩ ❛ The world is full of weapons if you're looking for them. ❜ ❨684❩ ❛ Nobody's heart is perfect. ❜ ❨685❩ ❛ One false move and I'm dead. ❜ ❨686❩ ❛ Watch out. I've got my eye on you. ❜ ❨687❩ ❛ Fear is a powerful stimulant. ❜ ❨688❩ ❛ I couldn't afford to lose you. ❜ ❨689❩ ❛ Name one hero who was happy. ---- You can’t. ❜ ❨690❩ ❛ I feel like I could eat the world raw. ❜ ❨691❩ ❛ We are like gods at the dawning of the world. ❜ ❨692❩ ❛ I could recognise him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world. ❜ ❨693❩ ❛ There are no bargains between lion and men. I will kill you and eat you raw. ❜ ❨694❩ ❛ You can use a spear as a walking stick, but that will not change its nature. ❜ ❨695❩ ❛ He is a weapon, a killer. Do not forget it. ❜ ❨696❩ ❛ Some men gain glory after they die, others fade. ❜ ❨697❩ ❛ I am made of memories. ❜ ❨698❩ ❛ Will you come with me? ❜ ❨699❩ ❛ I wish I had let you all die. ❜ ❨700❩ ❛ It is right to seek peace for the dead. You and I both know there is no peace for those who live after. ❜ ❨701❩ ❛ Bury us. Let us be free. ❜ ❨702❩ ❛ Go. He waits for you. ❜ ❨703❩ ❛ Nothing could eclipse the stain of this dirty, mortal mediocrity. ❜ ❨704❩ ❛ I know I have told you of this. ❜ ❨705❩ ❛ I don't know how you remember them all. I swear they look the same to me. ❜ ❨706❩ ❛ Perhaps you should get some new stories, so I don’t fucking kill myself of boredom. ❜ ❨707❩ ❛ I yearn for the darkness and silence of the underworld, where I can rest. ❜ ❨708❩ ❛ There is no honour in betraying your friends. ❜ ❨709❩ ❛ There is no answer. Whichever you choose, you are wrong. ❜ ❨710❩ ❛ Divine blood flows differently. ❜ ❨711❩ ❛ How is there glory in taking life? We die so easily. ❜ ❨712❩ ❛ This is what I will miss, I think. I will kill myself rather than miss it. ❜ ❨713❩ ❛ How long do we have? ❜ ❨714❩ ❛ Do you think we fight hopeless wars? ❜ ❨715❩ ❛ There is no law that gods must be fair. ❜ ❨716❩ ❛ I do not fear ridicule. I never have. ❜ ❨717❩ ❛ You were always better with words than I. ❜ ❨718❩ ❛ Who can be ashamed to lose to such beauty? ❜ ❨719❩ ❛ When you see beauty in desolation it changes something inside you. ❜ ❨720❩ ❛ That's how the madness of the world tries to colonise you: from the outside in, forcing you to live in its reality. ❜ ❨721❩ ❛ The shadows of the abyss are like the petals of a monstrous flower that shall blossom within the skull and expand the mind beyond what any man can bear. ❜ ❨722❩ ❛ Silence creates violence. ❜ ❨723❩ ❛ Some questions will ruin you if you are denied the answer long enough. ❜ ❨724❩ ❛ There are certain kinds of connections that are so deep that when broken you feel the snap of it inside you. ❜ ❨725❩ ❛ Nothing that ever lived and breathed was truly objective—even in a vacuum, even if all that possessed the brain was a self-immolating desire for the truth. ❜ ❨726❩ ❛ We all live in a kind of continuous dream. ❜ ❨727❩ ❛ You can either waste time worrying about a death that might not come or concentrate on what’s left to you. ❜ ❨728❩ ❛ What can you do when your five senses are not enough? ❜ ❨729❩ ❛ We will neither be what we had been nor what we would become once we reach our destination. ❜ ❨730❩ ❛ Perhaps my only real expertise, my only talent, is to endure beyond the endurable. ❜ ❨731❩ ❛ When you are too close to the centre of a mystery there is no way to pull back. ❜ ❨732❩ ❛ I long ago stopped believing in promises. Biological imperatives, yes. Environmental factors, yes. Promises, no. ❜ ❨733❩ ❛ I look not for shooting stars but for fixed ones, and I try to imagine what kind of life lives in those celestial tidal pools so far from us. ❜ ❨734❩ ❛ I hesitated for just a moment. Some part of me wanted to see the creature, I think. If so, it was a very small part. I ran. ❜ ❨735❩ ❛ I don’t require any of this to have a deeper meaning. ❜ ❨736❩ ❛ All of this speculation is incomplete, inexact, inaccurate, useless. ❜ ❨737❩ ❛ We don’t have real answers, because we still don’t know what questions to ask. Our instruments are useless, our methodology broken, our motivations selfish. ❜ ❨738❩ ❛ This part I will do alone. Don’t follow. ❜ ❨739❩ ❛ People my entire life have told me I am too much in control, but that has never been the case. I have never truly been in control. ❜ ❨740❩ ❛ Has there always been someone like me to bury the bodies, to have regrets, to carry on after everyone else was dead? ❜ ❨741❩ ❛ I loved them, but I didn’t need them, and I thought that was the way it was supposed to be. ❜ ❨742❩ ❛ Places can impress themselves upon me, and I can become part of them with ease. ❜ ❨743❩ ❛ There is no one with me. I am all by myself. ❜ ❨744❩ ❛ Pretending often leads to becoming a reasonable facsimile of what you mimic. ❜ ❨745❩ ❛ I think you're confusing suicide with self-destruction, and they're very different. Almost none of us commit suicide, whereas almost all of us self-destruct. ❜ ❨746❩ ❛ What did you eat? You had rations for only two weeks. You were there for nearly four months. ❜ ❨747❩ ❛ Something here is making giant waves in the gene pool. ❜ ❨748❩ ❛ I need to know what’s inside. ❜ ❨749❩ ❛ These aren't decisions. They're impulses ❜ ❨750❩ ❛ What do you think I do when you’re away? Do you think I’m out in the garden pinning, looking up at the sky? ❜ ❨751❩ ❛ If I know what’s happened I can save their life. ❜ ❨752❩ ❛ They either went crazy or something in here killed them. ❜ ❨753❩ ❛ Something is coming through the fence! ❜ ❨754❩ ❛ Nothing is written in the stars. Not these stars, nor any others. No one controls your destiny. ❜ ❨755❩ ❛ People who claim that they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us. ❜ ❨756❩ ❛ Happy endings are still endings. ❜ ❨757❩ ❛ We believe in all sorts of things that aren't true; -- we call it history. ❜ ❨758❩ ❛ Does the devil ever struggle to be good again, or if so is he not a devil? ❜ ❨759❩ ❛ In the lives of children, pumpkins turn into coaches, mice and rats turn into men. When we grow up, we realise it is far more common for men to turn into rats. ❜ ❨760❩ ❛ Girls need cold anger. They need the cold simmer, the ceaseless grudge, the talent to avoid forgiveness, the side stepping of compromise.  ❜ ❨761❩ ❛ Love makes hunters of us all. ❜ ❨762❩ ❛ There is much to hate in this world and way too much to love. ❜ ❨763❩ ❛ You confuse not speaking with not listening. ❜ ❨764❩ ❛ As long as people are going to call you a lunatic anyway, why not get the benefit of it? It liberates you from convention. ❜ ❨765❩ ❛ The eye is always caught by light, but shadows have more to say. ❜ ❨766❩ ❛ Not everyone is born a witch or a saint. Not everyone is born talented, or crooked, or blessed; some are born definite in no particular at all. ❜ ❨767❩ ❛ We are a fountain of shimmering contradictions, most of us. ❜ ❨768❩ ❛ The wickedness of men is that their power breeds stupidity and blindness. ❜ ❨769❩ ❛ I know you don't want to hear this but someone has to say it! You are out of control! ❜ ❨770❩ ❛ Even at the very worst - there is always choice. ❜ ❨771❩ ❛ Maybe the definition of home is the place where you are never forgiven. So you may always belong there, bound by guilt. And maybe the cost of belonging is worth it. ❜ ❨772❩ ❛ Cross a man and you struggle, one of you wins, you adjust and go on -- or you lie there dead. Cross a woman and the entire universe is changed. ❜ ❨773❩ ❛ That was such a wonderful time, even in its strangeness and sadness. Life isn't the same now. It's wonderful, but it isn't the same. ❜ ❨774❩ ❛ I don't care for approval, and I don't mind doing without. ❜ ❨775❩ ❛ It's where I live. A permanent state of bereavement. This is nothing new. ❜ ❨776❩ ❛ Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Always the godfather, never the god. ❜ ❨777❩ ❛ The world unwraps itself to you, again and again as soon as you are ready to see it anew. ❜ ❨778❩ ❛ Evil is an act, not an appetite. Everyone has the appetite. If you give in to it, that act is evil. The appetite is normal. ❜ ❨779❩ ❛ How many haven't wanted to slash the throat of some boor across the dining room table?  ❜ ❨780❩ ❛ Even God used silence as a strategy. ❜ ❨781❩ ❛ I learned failure early and mastered it. ❜ ❨782❩ ❛ It isn't whether you do it well or ill, it's that you do it all. ❜ ❨783❩ ❛ This is why you shouldn't fall in love, it blinds you. Love is a very wicked distraction. ❜ ❨784❩ ❛ Wisdom is not the understanding of mystery. Wisdom is accepting that mystery is beyond understanding. That's what makes it mystery. ❜ ❨785❩ ❛ Wrong takes an awful long time to be proven, in my experience. ❜ ❨786❩ ❛ Such brightness, as you know, decays brilliantly. ❜ ❨787❩ ❛ I take responsibility only for the future, not the past. The past can't hurt you the way the future can. ❜ ❨788❩ ❛ Tell me to mind my own business, tell me to go fuck myself, to piss off, go on, say it, but don’t tell me nothing’s wrong. ❜ ❨789❩ ❛ The truth isn't a thing of fact or reason. It is simply what everyone agrees on. ❜ ❨790❩ ❛ One can't make peace with another by force. ❜ ❨791❩ ❛ I am a forgettable leaf on a tree. ❜ ❨792❩ ❛ That's all I want; --- to do no harm. ❜ ❨793❩ ❛ I only believe in the opposite of luck, whatever that is. ❜ ❨794❩ ❛ Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves. ❜ ❨795❩ ❛ You’re too young to know that the heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good, and thanks to that we manage to endure the burden of the past. ❜ ❨796❩ ❛ Love, no matter what else it might be, is a natural talent. You are either born knowing how, or you never know. ❜ ❨797❩ ❛ Whatever you do, you will be sorry all the rest of your life. ❜ ❨798❩ ❛ There is no God worth worrying about. ❜ ❨799❩ ❛ The only regret I will have in dying is if it is not for love. ❜ ❨800❩ ❛ Wisdom comes to us when it can no longer do any good. ❜ ❨801❩ ❛ Think of love as a state of grace, not the means to anything, but the very end in itself. ❜ ❨802❩ ❛ Only God knows how much I love you. ❜ ❨803❩ ❛ There is no greater glory than to die for love. ❜ ❨804❩ ❛ Nothing resembles a person as much as the way he dies. ❜ ❨805❩ ❛ Take advantage of it now, while you are young, and suffer all you can, because these things don't last your whole life. ❜ ❨806❩ ❛ Today, when I saw you, I realised that what is between us is nothing more than an illusion. ❜ ❨807❩ ❛ I have waited for this opportunity for more than half a century. ❜ ❨808❩ ❛ I want to be myself again, to recover all that I was obliged to give up. ❜ ❨809❩ ❛ The only thing worse than bad health is a bad name. ❜ ❨810❩ ❛ This soup tastes like windows. ❜ ❨811❩ ❛ Why do you insist on talking about what does not exist? ❜ ❨812❩ ❛ One has to live a long time to know a man's true nature. ❜ ❨813❩ ❛ No, not rich, I am a poor man with money, which is not the same thing. ❜ ❨814❩ ❛ My heart has more rooms than a whorehouse. ❜ ❨815❩ ❛ That may be the reason he does so many things, so that he will not have to think. ❜ ❨816❩ ❛ Love if it exists, is something separate: another life. ❜ ❨817❩ ❛ Things did not go as badly for me as they would for you. ❜ ❨818❩ ❛ There are things you do only for love. ❜ ❨819❩ ❛ I’ll have plenty of time to rest when I die. ❜ ❨820❩ ❛ There is no innocence more dangerous than the innocence of age. ❜ ❨821❩ ❛ You treat me as if I were just anybody. ❜ ❨822❩ ❛ The symptoms of love are the same as those of cholera. ❜ ❨823❩ ❛ There is no law, human or divine, that you have not ignored. ❜ ❨824❩ ❛ Why is it that I feel I've known you so many years? ❜ ❨825❩ ❛ Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories. ❜ ❨826❩ ❛ It doesn't matter what you do, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away. ❜ ❨827❩ ❛ We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real? ❜ ❨828❩ ❛ There must be something, something we can’t imagine, to make a woman stay in a burning house; there must be something there. You don’t stay for nothing. ❜ ❨829❩ ❛ If you hide your ignorance, no one will hit you and you'll never learn. ❜ ❨830❩ ❛ If you drown, at least die knowing you were heading for shore. ❜ ❨831❩ ❛ You can't make people listen. They have to come round in their own time, wondering what happened and why the world blew up around them. ❜ ❨832❩ ❛ It was a pleasure to burn. ❜ ❨833❩ ❛ I'm antisocial, they say. I don't mix. It's so strange. I'm very social indeed. It all depends on what you mean by social, doesn't it? ❜ ❨834❩ ❛ Being with people is nice. But I don't think it's social to get a bunch of people together and then not let them talk, do you? ❜ ❨835❩ ❛ Do you notice how people hurt each other nowadays? ❜ ❨836❩ ❛ Who knows who might be the target of the well-read man? ❜ ❨837❩ ❛ I don't talk things. I talk the meaning of things. ❜ ❨838❩ ❛ I'll hold on to the world tight some day. I've got one finger on it now; that's a beginning. ❜ ❨839❩ ❛ I just want someone to hear what I have to say. And maybe if I talk long enough it'll make sense. ❜ ❨840❩ ❛ That's the good part of dying; when you've nothing to lose, you run any risk you want. ❜ ❨841❩ ❛ Someday we'll build the biggest goddamn steamshovel in history and dig the biggest grave of all time and shove war in it and cover it up. ❜ ❨842❩ ❛ You're not like the others. I've seen a few; I know. When I talk, you look at me. ❜ ❨843❩ ❛ You're afraid of making mistakes. Don't be. Mistakes can be profited by. ❜ ❨844❩ ❛ When they give you lined paper, write the other way. ❜ ❨845❩ ❛ The sun burnt every day. It burnt time. ❜ ❨846❩ ❛ We have everything we need to be happy but we aren't happy. Something is missing. ❜ ❨847❩ ❛ I feel I'm doing what I should've done a lifetime ago. ❜ ❨848❩ ❛ I'm not afraid. Maybe it's because I'm doing the right thing at last. Maybe it's because I've done a rash thing and don't want to look the coward to you. ❜ ❨849❩ ❛ Good God, who were those men? I never saw them before in my life! ❜ ❨850❩ ❛ How do you get so empty? Who takes it out of you? ❜ ❨851❩ ❛ It must be right. It seems so right. ❜ ❨852❩ ❛ To everything there is a season. Yes. A time to break down, and a time to build up. A time to keep silence and a time to speak. ❜ ❨853❩ ❛ It's my game. And no one can help me. Not even you. ❜ ❨854❩ ❛ What makes earth feel like hell is our expectation that it should feel like heaven. Earth is earth. Dead is dead. You’ll find out for yourself soon enough. ❜ ❨855❩ ❛ Death is a long process. Your body is just the first part of you that croaks. Beyond that, your dreams have to die. Then your expectations. Your anger and memories must die. Your ego. Your pride and shame and ambition and hope. ❜ ❨856❩ ❛ Help me give up my addiction to hope. ❜ ❨857❩ ❛ Life is short, death is forever. ❜ ❨858❩ ❛ Hope is something really tough and tenacious you have to give up. It’s an addiction to break. ❜ ❨859❩ ❛ If the living are haunted by the dead, then the dead are haunted by their own mistakes. ❜ ❨860❩ ❛ We all wish to be pursued. We all long to be desired. ❜ ❨861❩ ❛ All the demons of hell formerly reigned as gods in previous cultures. No it's not fair, but one man's god is another man's devil. ❜ ❨862❩ ❛ I can become someone else, not out of pressure and desperation, but merely because a new life sounds fun or interesting or joyful. ❜ ❨863❩ ❛ It's my petty fear of personal rejection that allows so many true evils to exist. My cowardice enables atrocities. ❜ ❨864❩ ❛ You fucked up. Game over. So just relax. ❜ ❨865❩ ❛ The greatest weapon any warrior can carry into battle is absolute certainty of her eternal soul. ❜ ❨866❩ ❛ If killing you will end my existence as well, be it. Small loss. Such a life, as your puppet, is not worth living. ❜ ❨867❩ ❛ I might be a touch of a sadist and a little bit jejune but at least I'm not a victim, not any longer. I hope. ❜ ❨868❩ ❛ Dying seems like the greatest weakness, and in a world where people say you're lazy for not shaving your legs, then being dead seems like the ultimate character flaw. ❜ ❨869❩ ❛ Any concept of right versus wrong, is merely a cultural construct relative to one specific time and place. ❜ ❨870❩ ❛ To prove that I exist I must kill you. ❜ ❨871❩ ❛ I'd say that my life has been a way-too-long case history of chasing rainbows. ❜ ❨872❩ ❛ The world is a battle for attention, a war to be heard. ❜ ❨873❩ ❛ Every garden looks beautiful in May. ❜ ❨874❩ ❛ When we neglect to fear such brittle monstrosity, we render it powerless. ❜ ❨875❩ ❛ My taste for power continues to grow, as does my ability to accrue it. ❜ ❨876❩ ❛ Such language! Why don't you just take a dump in my ears? ❜ ❨877❩ ❛ You’d be foolish to count on people displaying high standards of honesty. ❜ ❨878❩ ❛ Depending on her mood, she can be more frightening than any demon or devil you might ever run across. ❜ ❨879❩ ❛ Cross your fingers! Maybe death won't happen to you. ❜ ❨880❩ ❛ Do not die while wearing cheap shoes. ❜ ❨881❩ ❛ Old habits die hard. ❜ ❨882❩ ❛ It's our attachments to a fixed identity that torture us. ❜ ❨883❩ ❛ What do I think I am? In a thousand words; I don't have a clue. ❨884❩ ❛ If I am to be saved it is because your love redeems me. ❜ ❨885❩ ❛ All I wanted was to be loved for myself. ❜ ❨886❩ ❛ I have tasted all the happiness the world can offer. ❜ ❨887❩ ❛ Shall we pity him? Shall we curse him? ❜ ❨888❩ ❛ You have a heart that can hold the entire empire of the world. ❜ ❨889❩ ❛ Look, I am not laughing now, crying, crying for you. ❜ ❨890❩ ❛ Tonight I gave you my soul, and I am dead. ❜ ❨891❩ ❛ You are afraid of me! And yet I am not really wicked. Love me and you shall see! ❜ ❨892❩ ❛ Are people so unhappy when they love? --- Yes, when they love and are not sure of being loved. ❜ ❨893❩ ❛ Your soul is a beautiful thing. No emperor received so fair a gift. The angels wept tonight. ❜ ❨894❩ ❛ Blood!...Blood!... That's a good thing! ❜ ❨895❩ ❛ Now I want to live like everybody else. I want to have a life like everybody else. ❜ ❨896❩ ❛ You will be the happiest of women. And we will sing, all by ourselves, till we swoon away with delight. ❜ ❨897❩ ❛ I should be as gentle as a lamb; and you could do anything with me that you pleased. ❜ ❨898❩ ❛ I am going to die of love, I am dying of love. That's how it is. I loved you so. I still love you so. ❜ ❨899❩ ❛ I am dying of love for her, I tell you! If only you knew how beautiful she was when she let me kiss her. ❜ ❨900❩ ❛ He fills me with horror but I do not hate him. How can I hate him? ❜ ❨901❩ ❛ Holy angel, in Heaven blessed, my spirit longs with thee to rest. ❜ ❨902❩ ❛ Nothing is colder or more dead than my heart. ❜ ❨903❩ ❛ I had loved an angel and now I despise a woman. ❜ ❨904❩ ❛ Our lives are one masked ball. ❜ ❨905❩ ❛ Why do you condemn a man whom you have never met, whom no one knows and about whom even you yourself know nothing? ❜ ❨906❩ ❛ He would commit murder for me. ❜ ❨907❩ ❛ If I don't save her from the hands of that humbug, she is lost. But I shall save her. ❜ ❨908❩ ❛ We will go from here together or die together. ❜ ❨909❩ ❛ Your fear, your terror, all of that is just love and love of the most exquisite kind, the kind which people do not admit even to themselves. The kind that gives you a thrill, when you think of it. ❜ ❨910❩ ❛ Destiny has chained you to me forever. ❜ ❨911❩ ❛ You must never ask me that. ❜ ❨912❩ ❛ Are you afraid that you will change your mind? ❜ ❨913❩ ❛ You must come and fetch me in my dressing room at midnight exactly. ❜ ❨914❩ ❛ The holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mould yourself through the gaps. ❜ ❨915❩ ❛ I have never understood how people can blithely disregard the damage they do by following their hearts. ❜ ❨916❩ ❛ There’s something comforting about the sight of strangers safe at home. ❜ ❨917❩ ❛ I have lost control over everything, even the places in my head. ❜ ❨918❩ ❛ It’s possible to miss what you’ve never had, to even mourn for it. ❜ ❨919❩ ❛ There’s nothing so painful, so corrosive, as suspicion. ❜ ❨920❩ ❛ When did you become so weak? ❜ ❨921❩ ❛ I don’t know where that strength went, I don’t remember losing it. I think that over time it got chipped away, bit by bit, by life, by the living of it. ❜ ❨922❩ ❛ Let’s be honest: women are still only really valued for two things—their looks and their role as mothers. ❜ ❨923❩ ❛ Sadness gets boring after a while, for the sad person and for everyone around them. ❜ ❨924❩ ❛ I’m playing at real life instead of actually living it. ❜ ❨925❩ ❛ I’ve just got to let myself feel the pain, because if I don’t, if I keep numbing it, it’ll never really go away. ❜ ❨926❩ ❛ I am not the girl I used to be. I am no longer desirable, I’m off-putting in some way. It’s as if people can see the damage written all over me, can see it in my face, the way I hold myself, the way I move. ❜ ❨927❩ ❛ Who was it that said following your heart is a good thing? It is pure egotism, a selfishness to conquer all. ❜ ❨928❩ ❛ It’s impossible to resist the kindness of strangers. ❜ ❨929❩ ❛ Sometimes I catch myself trying to remember the last time I had meaningful physical contact with another person, just a hug or a heartfelt squeeze of my hand, and my heart twitches. ❜ ❨930❩ ❛ I have to find a way of making myself happy, I have to stop looking for happiness elsewhere. ❜ ❨931❩ ❛ How did I find myself here? I wonder where it started, my decline; I wonder at what point I could have halted it. Where did I take the wrong turn? ❜ ❨932❩ ❛ Now look -- Now look what you made me do. ❜ ❨933❩ ❛ It’s okay, whatever you did, whatever you’ve done: you suffered, you hurt, you deserve forgiveness. ❜ ❨934❩ ❛ They’re what I lost, they’re everything I want to be. ❜ ❨935❩ ❛ You broke me and I broke us. ❜ ❨936❩ ❛ I’ve been the fool. If he does it with you, he’ll do it to you. ❜ ❨937❩ ❛ I’d never realised, not until now, how shameful it is to be pitied. ❜ ❨938❩ ❛ Sometimes, I don’t want to go anywhere, I think I’ll be happy if I never have to set foot outside the house again. ❜ ❨939❩ ❛ I don’t believe in soul mates, but there’s an understanding between us that I just haven’t felt before, or at least, not for a long time. ❜ ❨940❩ ❛ There can be no greater agony, nothing can be more painful than the not knowing, which will never end. ❜ ❨941❩ ❛ Being the other woman is a huge turn-on, there’s no point in denying it: you’re the one he can’t help but betray his wife for, even though he loves her. That’s just how irresistible you are. ❜ ❨942❩ ❛ I feel a rush of gratitude so strong, it feels almost like love. ❜ ❨943❩ ❛ You don’t know how determined I can be. Once I’ve made my mind up, I’m a force to be reckoned with. ❜ ❨944❩ ❛ The more I want to be oblivious, the less I can be. Life and light will not let me be. ❜ ❨945❩ ❛ You don’t have to be afraid of being alone. It’s not the worst thing, is it? ❜ ❨946❩ ❛ I have felt this way before. On a larger scale, to a more intense degree, of course, but I remember the quality of the pain. You don’t forget it. ❜ ❨947❩ ❛ If he thinks I’m going to sit around crying, he’s got another thing coming. ❜ ❨948❩ ❛ I don’t like to lose. It’s not like me. None of this is like me. I don’t get rejected. I’m the one who walks away. ❜ ❨949❩ ❛ I don’t remember anger, raging fury. I remember fear. ❜ ❨950❩ ❛ I can’t sleep. I haven’t slept in days. I hate it, hate insomnia more than anything, just lying there, brain going round, tick, tick, tick, tick. ❜ ❨951❩ ❛ Maybe the courage I need has nothing to do with telling the truth and everything to do with walking away. ❜ ❨952❩ ❛ I’m not beautiful, and I can’t have kids, so what does that make me? Worthless. ❜ ❨953❩ ❛ Failure cloaked me like a mantle, it overwhelmed me, dragged me under and I gave up hope. ❜ ❨954❩ ❛ It’s an odd thing to say, but I think this all the time; I don’t feel bad enough. ❜ ❨955❩ ❛ Some battles aren’t worth fighting. ❜ ❨956❩ ❛ I never felt guilty. I pretended I did. I had to. ❜ ❨957❩ ❛ I never meant for any of this to happen, we fell in love, what could we do? ❜ ❨958❩ ❛ What bothers me most is that I haven’t got to the end of my story, and I can’t start over with someone else, it’s too hard. ❜ ❨959❩ ❛ A person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn and not easily mended. ❜ ❨960❩ ❛ It isn’t only wickedness and scheming that make people unhappy, it is confusion and misunderstanding. ❜ ❨961❩ ❛ Falling in love can be achieved in a single word—a glance. ❜ ❨962❩ ❛ Though you think the world is at your feet, it can rise up and tread on you. ❜ ❨963❩ ❛ I’ve never had a moment’s doubt. I love you. I believe in you completely. You are my dearest one. My reason for life. ❜ ❨964❩ ❛ It might hurt, it is horribly inconvenient, no good might come of it, but it is what it is to be in love. ❜ ❨965❩ ❛ It was always an impossible task, and that was precisely the point. ❜ ❨966❩ ❛ Come back, come back to me. ❜ ❨967❩ ❛ In my thoughts I make love to you all day long. ❜ ❨968❩ ❛ The truth is I feel rather light headed and foolish in your presence and I don’t think I can blame the heat. ❜ ❨969❩ ❛ Beauty occupies a narrow band. Ugliness, on the other hand, has infinite variation. ❜ ❨970❩ ❛ Is there any meaning in my life that the inevitable death awaiting me does not destroy? ❜ ❨971❩ ❛ However, withered, I still feel myself to be exactly the same person I’ve always been. ❜ ❨972❩ ❛ Hate is a feeling as pure as love, but dispassionate and icily rational. ❜ ❨973❩ ❛ I’m going mad. Let me not be mad. ❜ ❨974❩ ❛ Is everyone really as alive as I am? ❜ ❨975❩ ❛ Every now and then, quite unintentionally, someone teaches you something about yourself. ❜ ❨976❩ ❛ Something has happened, hasn’t it? ❜ ❨977❩ ❛ I like to think that it isn’t weakness or evasion, but a final act of kindness. ❜ ❨978❩ ❛ Is it possible that I am, in the modern term, in denial? ❜ ❨979❩ ❛ How could anyone presume to know the world through the eyes of an insect? ❜ ❨980❩ ❛ Not everything has a cause. Some things are simply so. ❜ ❨981❩ ❛ I’ll be quite honest with you. I’m torn between breaking your neck here and throwing you down the stairs. ❜ ❨982❩ ❛ How old do you have to be before you know the difference between right and wrong? ❜ ❨983❩ ❛ It was never meant to be read. ❜ ❨984❩ ❛ If I fell in the river, would you save me? ❜ ❨985❩ ❛ That was an incredibly bloody stupid thing to do. ❜ ❨986❩ ❛ I want to thank you for saving my life. I’ll be eternally grateful to you. ❜ ❨987❩ ❛ I’m very, very sorry for the terrible distress that I have caused. I’m very, very sorry. ❜ ❨988❩ ❛ Don’t call me that! – Please don’t call me that. ❜ ❨989❩ ❛ It may be the wrong decision, but fuck it, it’s mine. ❜ ❨990❩ ❛ Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer. ❜ ❨991❩ ❛ No one ever really gets used to nightmares. ❜ ❨992❩ ❛ I still get nightmares. In fact, I get them so often I should be used to them by now. I’m not. ❜ ❨993❩ ❛ Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila. ❜ ❨994❩ ❛ Some people reflect light, some deflect it, you by some miracle, seem to collect it. ❜ ❨995❩ ❛ Beautiful women are always drawn to men they think will keep them beautiful. ❜ ❨996❩ ❛ The ruminations are mine, let the world be yours. ❜ ❨997❩ ❛ You will fulfil a promise I made years ago but failed to keep. ❜ ❨998❩ ❛ Darkness never satisfies. Especially if it takes something away which it almost always invariably does. ❜ ❨999❩ ❛ I want something else. I’m not even sure what to call it anymore. ❜ ❨1000❩ ❛ What can I say, I’m a sucker for abandoned stuff, misplaced stuff, forgotten stuff, any old stuff. ❜ ❨1001❩ ❛ Is it possible to love something so much, you imagine it wants to destroy you only because it has denied you? ❜ ❨1002❩ ❛ It’s just silent, no sound at all. It’s like something’s waiting. ❜ ❨1003❩ ❛ I guess I’m hoping the weapons will make me feel better, grant me some kind of fucking control. ❜ ❨1004❩ ❛ Oh and something else: – Fuck you. ❜ ❨1005❩ ❛ God I’ve never been afraid like this. ❜ ❨1006❩ ❛ I miss you. I love you. There’s no second I’ve lived that you can’t call your own. ❜ ❨1007❩ ❛ I’m so tired. Sleep’s been stalking me for too long to remember. Inevitable I suppose. ❜ ❨1008❩ ❛ Not seeing the rip doesn’t mean you automatically get to keep clear of the Hey-I’m-Bleeding part. ❜ ❨1009❩ ❛ These days fantasies flourish and die like summer flies. ❜ ❨1010❩ ❛ Yeah I know, I know. This shit’s getting ridiculous. ❜ ❨1011❩ ❛ ‘Fuck’ and 'fall for’ have very different meanings. The first one you do as much as you can. The second one you never ever, ever do. ❜ ❨1012❩ ❛ It’s a nice idea but it reeks of hope. False hope. ❜ ❨1013❩ ❛ It’s, well…one thing in two words: fucked up…very fucked up. Okay three words, four words, who the hell cares…very very fucked up. ❜ ❨1014❩ ❛ Do you think I could spend the night at your place?  ❜ ❨1015❩ ❛ Any fool can pray. ❜ ❨1016❩ ❛ I feel like I haven’t slept in months. My neighbours are scared of me. ❜ ❨1017❩ ❛ I’ve lost my mind? Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe I’m just really drunk. ❜ ❨1018❩ ❛ Perhaps by cleaning out my system I’ll come to a clearing where I can ease myself into peace. ❜ ❨1019❩ ❛ I should be dead. Why am I still here? ❜ ❨1020❩ ❛ Fuck if I know. Your guess is as good as mine. ❜ ❨1021❩ ❛ You are my flesh. You are my bones. I know you too well. I read you too perfectly. ❜ ❨1022❩ ❛ Not all complex problems have easy solutions. ❜ ❨1023❩ ❛ Do you believe in God? I don’t think I ever asked you that one. ❜ ❨1024❩ ❛ We all create stories to protect ourselves. ❜ ❨1025❩ ❛ Are you kidding me? This place is scary. ❜ ❨1026❩ ❛ These days the only thing that gets me outside is when I say: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. ❜ ❨1027❩ ❛ You like that crap because it reminds you of you. ❜ ❨1028❩ ❛ You may suddenly realise things are not how you perceived them to be at all. ❜ ❨1029❩ ❛ The two hardest tests are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter. ❜ ❨1030❩ ❛ People never learn anything by being told, they have to find out for themselves. ❜ ❨1031❩ ❛ Be crazy! But learn how to be crazy without being the center of attention. Be brave enough to live different. ❜ ❨1032❩ ❛ You are someone who is different, but who wants to be the same as everyone else. And that in my view is a serious illness. ❜ ❨1033❩ ❛ God chose you to be different. ❜ ❨1034❩ ❛ Why are you disappointing God with this kind of attitude? ❜ ❨1035❩ ❛ You have two choices, to control your mind or to let your mind control you. ❜ ❨1036❩ ❛ Everyone is indeed crazy, but the craziest are the ones who don't know they're crazy; they just keep repeating what others tell them to. ❜ ❨1037❩ ❛ Haven't you learned anything, not even with the approach of death?  ❜ ❨1038❩ ❛ If people don't like it, they can complain. And if they don't have the courage to complain, that's their problem. ❜ ❨1039❩ ❛ Nothing in this world happens by chance. ❜ ❨1040❩ ❛ I want to continue living my life the way I dream it, and not the way the other people want it to be. ❜ ❨1041❩ ❛ Be like the fountain that overflows, not like the cistern that merely contains. ❜ ❨1042❩ ❛ Collective madness is called sanity. ❜ ❨1043❩ ❛ Consider each day a miracle - which indeed it is, when you consider the number of unexpected things that could happen in each second of our fragile existences. ❜ ❨1044❩ ❛ You say they create their own reality, but what is reality? ❜ ❨1045❩ ❛ Many people don't allow themselves to love because there are a lot of things at risk. A lot of future and a lot of past. ❜ ❨1046❩ ❛ Death frees from the fear of dying. ❜ ❨1047❩ ❛ The danger of an adventure is worth a thousand days of ease and comfort. ❜ ❨1048❩ ❛ The happier people can be, the unhappier they are. ❜ ❨1049❩ ❛ Life is always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act. ❜ ❨1050❩ ❛ It's best to accept life as it really is and not as you imagined it to be. ❜ ❨1051❩ ❛ You don't seem mad at all. ❜ ❨1052❩ ❛ We’re allowed to make a lot of mistakes in our lives, except the mistake that destroys us. ❜ ❨1053❩ ❛ You’re what you are, not what others make of you. ❜ ❨1054❩ ❛ Am I cured? ❜ ❨1055❩ ❛ Real love changes and grows with time and discovers new ways of expressing itself. ❜ ❨1056❩ ❛ A lot of people think something is right, and so that thing becomes right. Is that it? ❜ ❨1057❩ ❛ They think they're normal, because they all do the same thing. ❜ ❨1058❩ ❛ I didn't know that other ‘me’s existed inside me, ‘Me’s that I could love. ❜ ❨1059❩ ❛ I have no idea what's awaiting me. ❜ ❨1060❩ ❛ What will happen when this all ends? ❜ ❨1061❩ ❛ I know that you are capable of great deeds. ❜ ❨1062❩ ❛ A loveless world is a dead world, and always there comes an hour when one is weary of prisons, of one's work, and of devotion to duty, and all one craves for is a loved face, the warmth and wonder of a loving heart. ❜ ❨1063❩ ❛ The truth is that everyone is bored. ❜ ❨1064❩ ❛ I feel more fellowship with the defeated than with saints. Heroism and sanctity don't really appeal to me, I imagine. ❜ ❨1065❩ ❛ If there is one thing one can always yearn for, and sometimes attain, it is human love. ❜ ❨1066❩ ❛ Who would dare to assert that eternal happiness can compensate for even a single moment's suffering? ❜ ❨1067❩ ❛ It's not easy. I've been thinking it over for years. ❜ ❨1068❩ ❛ While we loved each other we didn't need words to make ourselves understood. ❜ ❨1069❩ ❛ People are more often bad than good. ❜ ❨1070❩ ❛ I don't believe in heroism; I know it's easy and I've learned that it can be murderous. ❜ ❨1071❩ ❛ What interests me is living and dying for what one loves. ❜ ❨1072❩ ❛ In fact, nobody is capable of really thinking about anyone, even in the worst calamity. ❜ ❨1073❩ ❛ Nothing in the world is worth turning one's back on what one loves. ❜ ❨1074❩ ❛ Again and again there comes a time in history when the man who dares to say that two and two make four is punished with death. ❜ ❨1075❩ ❛ There are more things to admire in men then to despise. ❜ ❨1076❩ ❛ It is in the thick of calamity that one gets hardened to the truth - in other words, to silence. ❜ ❨1077❩ ❛ What on earth prompted you to take a hand in this? ❜ ❨1078❩ ❛ Your code of morals? What code, if I may ask? ❜ ❨1079❩ ❛ I'm fumbling in the dark, struggling to make something out. But I've long ceased finding anything. ❜ ❨1080❩ ❛ No doubt our love is still there, but quite simply it is unusable, heavy to carry, inert inside of us, sterile as crime or condemnation. ❜ ❨1081❩ ❛ I’m not happy to go, but one needn't be happy to make another start. ❜ ❨1082❩ ❛ I am incapable of suffering for a long time, or being happy for a long time. Which means that I am incapable of anything really worth while. ❜ ❨1083❩ ❛ I should have found the words to keep her with me. ❜ ❨1084❩ ❛ We can't stir a finger in this world without the risk of bringing death to somebody. ❜ ❨1085❩ ❛ The evil that is in the world comes out of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence, if they lack understanding. ❜ ❨1086❩ ❛ There are always flies and itches. That’s why life is difficult to live. ❜ ❨1087❩ ❛ The best protection against anything is a good bottle of wine. ❜ ❨1088❩ ❛ There is no peace without hope. ❜ ❨1089❩ ❛ It's enough for me to be sure that you and I exist at this moment. ❜ ❨1090❩ ❛ There is always something left to love. ❜ ❨1091❩ ❛ A person doesn’t die when he should but when he can. ❜ ❨1092❩ ❛ Things have a life of their own. It's simply a matter of waking up their souls. ❜ ❨1093❩ ❛ Tell me something: why are you fighting? ❜ ❨1094❩ ❛ I've come to realise only just now that I'm fighting because of pride. ❜ ❨1095❩ ❛ One minute of reconciliation is worth more than a whole life of friendship. ❜ ❨1096❩ ❛ It's better than not knowing why you're fighting. Or fighting, like you, for something that doesn't have any meaning for anyone. ❜ ❨1097❩ ❛ Holy Mother of God! ❜ ❨1098❩ ❛ A person does not belong to a place until there is someone dead under the ground. ❜ ❨1099❩ ❛ I was born a son of a bitch and I'm going to die a son of a bitch. ❜ ❨1100❩ ❛ Bad luck doesn't have any chinks in it. ❜ ❨1101❩ ❛ I plead youth as a mitigating circumstance. ❜ ❨1102❩ ❛ Get those bad thoughts out of your head. You're going to be happy. ❜ ❨1103❩ ❛ Children inherit their parents' madness. ❜ ❨1104❩ ❛ I'll turn to ashes in here but I won't give this miserable town the pleasure of seeing me weep. ❜ ❨1105❩ ❛ You would be good in a war. Where you put your eye, you put your bullet. ❜ ❨1106❩ ❛ Men demand much more than you think. ❜ ❨1107❩ ❛ Even the craziest and most persistent love is just a temporary truth. ❜ ❨1108❩ ❛ If we’re alone you can whisper in my ear any crap you can think of. ❜ ❨1109❩ ❛ You have taken this horrible game very seriously and you have done well because you are doing your duty. ❜ ❨1110❩ ❛ We have the right to pull down your pants and give you a whipping at the first sign of disrespect. ❜ ❨1111❩ ❛ What worries me is not your shooting me, because after all, for people like us it's a natural death. ❜ ❨1112❩ ❛ What worries me is that you've ended up as bad as they are. ❜ ❨1113❩ ❛ It is characteristic of men to deny hunger once their appetites are satisfied. ❜ ❨1114❩ ❛ Dying is much more difficult than one imagines. ❜ ❨1115❩ ❛ If you have to go crazy, please go crazy all by yourself! ❜ ❨1116❩ ❛ We have still not had a death. ❜ ❨1117❩ ❛ How awful, the way time passes. ❜ ❨1118❩ ❛ You may be in command of your war, but I'm in command of my house. ❜ ❨1119❩ ❛ I missed you every hour. ❜ ❨1120❩ ❛ You know what the worst part was? It caught me completely by surprise. ❜ ❨1121❩ ❛ I’ve risked my life for you. ❜ ❨1122❩ ❛ The problem with wanting is that it makes us weak. ❜ ❨1123❩ ❛ I love you, even the part of you that loved him. ❜ ❨1124❩ ❛ I’m sorry it took me so long to see you. ❜ ❨1125❩ ❛ I never really belonged anywhere. ❜ ❨1126❩ ❛ Thanks for being my best friend and making my life bearable.  ❜ ❨1127❩ ❛ Thanks for finding me. ❜ ❨1128❩ ❛ You and I are going to change the world. ❜ ❨1129❩ ❛ I’ve been waiting for you a long time. ❜ ❨1130❩ ❛ I’m not used to people trying to kill me. ❜ ❨1131❩ ❛ You’re shaking. ❜ ❨1132❩ ❛ There's nothing wrong with being a lizard. Unless you were born to be a hawk. ❜ ❨1133❩ ❛ Make me your villain. ❜ ❨1134❩ ❛ Just you and me. It’s always just you and me. ❜ ❨1135❩ ❛ Do you blame me for every mistake I made? For every dumb thing I’ve said? ❜ ❨1136❩ ❛ Well, if it gets too bad, give me a signal. ❜ ❨1137❩ ❛ Did you tell him what I showed you in the dark? ❜ ❨1138❩ ❛ Did you miss me when you were gone? ❜ ❨1139❩ ❛ What is infinite? The universe and the greed of men. ❜ ❨1140❩ ❛ You’re interfering with my plan. ❜ ❨1141❩ ❛ Too much champagne? ❜ ❨1142❩ ❛ I hope you don’t expect fairness from me. It isn’t one of my specialties. ❜ ❨1143❩ ❛ There is something more powerful than any army. Something strong enough to topple kings. Faith. ❜ ❨1144❩ ❛ All you said was that I had to kill you. You didn’t say how. ❜ ❨1145❩ ❛ What is she? She’s everything, you dumb son of a bitch. ❜ ❨1146❩ ❛ She’s an ugly little thing. No child should look like that. Pale and sour, like a glass of milk that’s turned. ❜ ❨1147❩ ❛ I wouldn’t make that mistake again. ❜ ❨1148❩ ❛ It’s a great honor, to save a life. You saved many. ❜ ❨1149❩ ❛ In this world, there are things you can only do alone. ❜ ❨1150❩ ❛ What seems like a reasonable distance to one person might feel too far to somebody else. ❜ ❨1151❩ ❛ If you really want to know something, you have to be willing to pay the price. ❜ ❨1152❩ ❛ Why should you be interested in me? ❜ ❨1153❩ ❛ I have been told I've got a darkish personality. A few times. ❜ ❨1154❩ ❛ It's not as if our lives are divided simply into light and dark. There's shadowy middle ground. ❜ ❨1155❩ ❛ I'll write to you. A super-long letter, like in an old-fashioned novel. ❜ ❨1156❩ ❛ The spotlight doesn't suit me. I'm more of a side dish. ❜ ❨1157❩ ❛ The ground we stand on looks solid enough, but if something happens it can drop right out from under you.  ❜ ❨1158❩ ❛ So once you're dead there's just nothing? ❜ ❨1159❩ ❛ If only I could fall sound asleep and wake up in my old reality. ❜ ❨1160❩ ❛ Is action merely the incidental product of thought, or is thought the consequential product of action? ❜ ❨1161❩ ❛ Nobody can shake off their own shadow. ❜ ❨1162❩ ❛ The silence is so deep it hurts. ❜ ❨1163❩ ❛ I may not look it, but I can be a very patient guy. ❜ ❨1164❩ ❛ Killing time is one of my specialities. ❜ ❨1165❩ ❛ You can't fight it. ❜ ❨1166❩ ❛ Tell me something,—do you believe in reincarnation? ❜ ❨1167❩ ❛ I can’t understand nothingness. I can’t understand it and I can’t imagine it. ❜ ❨1168❩ ❛ I can hardly breathe, and my whole body wants to shrink into a corner.  ❜ ❨1169❩ ❛ I do have a few things wrong with me, but those are strictly problems I keep inside. ❜ ❨1170❩ ❛ I can't take it any more, I can't go on any more. ❜ ❨1171❩ ❛ You don't really have it together. ❜ ❨1172❩ ❛ Is it against the law for me to know it? ❜ ❨1173❩ ❛ I keep having the same dream. ❜ ❨1174❩ ❛ Are you asking because you really want an answer? ❜ ❨1175❩ ❛ I hate this! I don't want to be changed this way! ❜ ❨1176❩ ❛ No contradictions, no irony. They do everything according to numerical formulas. ❜ ❨1177❩ ❛ Want to hear the rest? If you’re not interested, I can stop. ❜ ❨1178❩ ❛ If I didn’t have these memories inside me, I would’ve snapped a long time ago. I would’ve curled up in a ditch somewhere and died. ❜ ❨1179❩ ❛ I don’t know what you’re feeling. I won’t even pretend. ❜ ❨1180❩ ❛ What are you doing here, honey? ❜ ❨1181❩ ❛ You're not even old enough to know how bad life gets. ❜ ❨1182❩ ❛ You don't understand me. ❜ ❨1183❩ ❛ All wisdom ends in paradox. ❜ ❨1184❩ ❛ It is love that overthrows empire. Love that binds two hearts together, come hellfire & brimstone. ❜ ❨1185❩ ❛ I have lost my gift. ❜ ❨1186❩ ❛ Winter is the season of alcoholism and despair. ❜ ❨1187❩ ❛ The seeds of death get lost in the mess that God made us. ❜ ❨1188❩ ❛ They're just memories now. It’s time to forget. ❜ ❨1189❩ ❛ The time has to be right and the heart willing. ❜ ❨1190❩ ❛ The world, a tired performer, offers us another half-assed season. ❜ ❨1191❩ ❛ Capitalism has resulted in material well-being but spiritual bankruptcy. ❜ ❨1192❩ ❛ Grief is natural, overcoming it is a matter of choice. ❜ ❨1193❩ ❛ I want out of that decorating scheme. ❜ ❨1194❩ ❛ With most people suicide is like Russian roulette. Only one chamber has a bullet. ❜ ❨1195❩ ❛ You never get over it but you get where it doesn't bother you so much. ❜ ❨1196❩ ❛ Don't waste your time on life. ❜ ❨1197❩ ❛ I'm a teenager. I've got problems! ❜ ❨1198❩ ❛ Adolescents tend to seek love where they can find it. ❜ ❨1199❩ ❛ Obviously, you've never been a thirteen-year-old girl. ❜ ❨1200❩ ❛ It was a mistake. ❜ ❨1201❩ ❛ It seemed like we were supposed to feel sorry for everything that ever happened, ever. ❜ ❨1202❩ ❛ Buffeted but not broken. ❜ ❨1203❩ ❛ Shit. What have kids got to be worried about now? ❜ ❨1204❩ ❛ If they want trouble, they should go live in Bangladesh. ❜ ❨1205❩ ❛ I can't wait until I get out of here. ❜ ❨1206❩ ❛ When she jumped she probably thought she’d fly. ❜ ❨1207❩ ❛ I do not think the patient truly meant to end her life. Her act was a cry for help. ❜ ❨1208❩ ❛ You're a stone fox. ❜ ❨1209❩ ❛ It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight. ❜ ❨1210❩ ❛ Light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. ❜ ❨1211❩ ❛ He broke my heart. You merely broke my life. ❜ ❨1212❩ ❛ I'm sorry to have deceived you so much, but that's how life is. ❜ ❨1213❩ ❛ Words without experience are meaningless. ❜ ❨1214❩ ❛ I loved you. I was a monster, but I loved you. ❜ ❨1215❩ ❛ Come just as you are. ❜ ❨1216❩ ❛ If a violin string could ache, i would be that string. ❜ ❨1217❩ ❛ Perhaps, somewhere, some day, at a less miserable time, we may see each other again. ❜ ❨1218❩ ❛ What's so dreadful about dying is that you are completely on your own. ❜ ❨1219❩ ❛ Don't touch me; I'll die if you touch me. ❜ ❨1220❩ ❛ You took advantage of my disadvantage. ❜ ❨1221❩ ❛ I walk in a maze I cannot get out of. ❜ ❨1222❩ ❛ Life is just one small piece of light between two eternal darknesses. ❜ ❨1223❩ ❛ Imagine me; I shall not exist if you do not imagine me. ❜ ❨1224❩ ❛ There is no harm in smiling. ❜ ❨1225❩ ❛ There is no point in staying here. There is no point in staying anywhere. ❜ ❨1226❩ ❛ There is nothing more atrociously cruel than an adored child. ❜ ❨1227❩ ❛ I am so tired of being cynical. ❜ ❨1228❩ ❛ Come to live with me, and die with me, and everything with me. ❜ ❨1229❩ ❛ This is the only immortality that you and I may share. ❜ ❨1230❩ ❛ I loved her more than anything I had ever seen or imagined on earth, or hoped for anywhere else. ❜ ❨1231❩ ❛ I was despicable and brutal, and turpid, and everything, mais je t’aimais, je t’aimais! ❜ ❨1232❩ ❛ Years of secret suffering has taught me superhuman self-control. ❜ ❨1233❩ ❛ Solitude is corrupting me. I need company and care. ❜ ❨1234❩ ❛ I've missed you terribly. ❜ ❨1235❩ ❛ I've been revoltingly unfaithful to you. ❜ ❨1236❩ ❛ It doesn't matter a bit, because you've stopped caring anyway. ❜ ❨1237❩ ❛ What makes you say I've stopped caring for you? ❜ ❨1238❩ ❛ Nowadays you have to be a scientist if you want to be a killer. ❜ ❨1239❩ ❛ The sun climbs high in the sky, then starts down. People come, then go. ❜ ❨1240❩ ❛ Tell me, have you ever thought of killing me? ❜ ❨1241❩ ❛ I can not believe you are the same human being. ❜ ❨1242❩ ❛ Just how urgent is it? ❜ ❨1243❩ ❛ It is time for you to be going. ❜ ❨1244❩ ❛ How is it you know something like that? ❜ ❨1245❩ ❛ I don’t mind. Your mess is my mess. ❜ ❨1246❩ ❛ Everybody has one thing they do not want to lose. ❜ ❨1247❩ ❛ I’ll be late tonight, so don’t wait up for me. ❜ ❨1248❩ ❛ Nothing I’ve tried to do by myself has ever come off. ❜ ❨1249❩ ❛ I am not catching you in the middle of anything important, am I? ❜ ❨1250❩ ❛ Some things are forgotten, some things disappear, some things die. ❜ ❨1251❩ ❛ My biggest fault is that the faults I was born with grow bigger each year. ❜ ❨1252❩ ❛ To get irritated is to lose our way in life. ❜ ❨1253❩ ❛ A friend to kill time is a friend sublime. ❜ ❨1254❩ ❛ I don't really know if it's the right thing to do. ❜ ❨1255❩ ❛ Faster cars and more cats run over? Who needs it? ❜ ❨1256❩ ❛ Most of everything you think you know about me is nothing more than memories. ❜ ❨1257❩ ❛ Your fate is and will always be the fate of a dreamer. ❜ ❨1258❩ ❛ You’re loads better than you think you are. ❜ ❨1259❩ ❛ You’re only half-living, the other half is still untapped somewhere. ❜ ❨1260❩ ❛ The song is over. But the melody lingers on. ❜ ❨1261❩ ❛ You are extraordinary. ❜ ❨1262❩ ❛ We tend to fool ourselves into thinking that time is our size, but it really goes on and on. ❜ ❨1263❩ ❛ It could be five years or ten years or one month. It's all the same. ❜ ❨1264❩ ❛ I’m forever realising things too late. ❜ ❨1265❩ ❛ I’m not complaining when I say my life is boring. ❜ ❨1266❩ ❛ Weakness is something that rots in the body. ❜ ❨1267❩ ❛ Coming from your mouth, it has the ring of truth, but I doubt anyone would believe me if I told them. ❜ ❨1268❩ ❛ You can't expect something unreal to last anyway, can you? ❜ ❨1269❩ ❛ A wise man does not step betwixt the beast and his meat. ❜ ❨1270❩ ❛ So, kill me. Tell the others I attacked you so you killed me. ❜ ❨1271❩ ❛ Should never have come here. ❜ ❨1272❩ ❛ Hard to guess my tastes. ❜ ❨1273❩ ❛ Can’t it wait until the morning? ❜ ❨1274❩ ❛ You’ll find temper tantrums won’t help you here. ❜ ❨1275❩ ❛ It must have taken courage to return. ❜ ❨1276❩ ❛ It all sounds grimly dystopian. ❜ ❨1277❩ ❛ I am not afraid of you! ❜ ❨1278❩ ❛ All this could be avoided! ❜ ❨1279❩ ❛ You consider me a murderer? ❜ ❨1280❩ ❛ Gross way to die. ❜ ❨1281❩ ❛ What sparks wars? The will to power, the backbone of human nature. ❜ ❨1282❩ ❛ My life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops? ❜ ❨1283❩ ❛ Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others. ❜ ❨1284❩ ❛ I believe there is another world waiting for us. A better world. And I'll be waiting for you there. ❜ ❨1285❩ ❛ You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out. It doesn't mean you're defective - it just means you're human. ❜ ❨1286❩ ❛ Power, time, gravity, love. The forces that really kick ass are all invisible. ❜ ❨1287❩ ❛ Unlimited power in the hands of limited people always leads to cruelty. ❜ ❨1288❩ ❛ Truth is singular. Its 'versions' are mistruths. ❜ ❨1289❩ ❛ Dreams are all I have ever truly owned. ❜ ❨1290❩ ❛ Your version of the truth is the only thing that matters. ❜ ❨1291❩ ❛ I believe death is only a door. One closes, and another opens. ❜ ❨1292❩ ❛ By each crime and every kindness, we birth our future. ❜ ❨1293❩ ❛ The healthy can't understand the emptied, the broken. ❜ ❨1294❩ ❛ Lying's wrong, but when the world spins backwards, a small wrong may be a big right. ❜ ❨1295❩ ❛ The weak are meat the strong do eat. ❜ ❨1296❩ ❛ Do whatever you can't not do. ❜ ❨1297❩ ❛ What precipitates outcomes? Vicious acts & virtuous acts. ❜ ❨1298❩ ❛ I remain thankful to God for all his mercies. ❜ ❨1299❩ ❛ You can maintain power over people, as long as you give them something. Rob a man of everything, and that man will no longer be in your power. ❜ ❨1300❩ ❛ Power. The ability to determine another man's luck. ❜ ❨1301❩ ❛ Pain is strong, aye - but friends' eyes, more strong. ❜ ❨1302❩ ❛ Perhaps those deprived of beauty perceive it most instinctively. ❜ ❨1303❩ ❛ Why ask a question whose answer would demand ten more questions? ❜ ❨1304❩ ❛ You can’t lie to your soul. ❜ ❨1305❩ ❛ Why would I want to do a thing like that? ❜ ❨1306❩ ❛ We start off with high hopes, then we bottle it. ❜ ❨1307❩ ❛ Better to make life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be. ❜ ❨1308❩ ❛ I’m not running away, I’m moving on. ❜ ❨1309❩ ❛ The reasons? There are no reasons. ❜ ❨1310❩ ❛ Some people are easier to love when you don’t have to be around them. ❜ ❨1311❩ ❛ Love does not exist. ❜ ❨1312❩ ❛ Fuck that ‘regrets’ bullshit. ❜ ❨1313❩ ❛ How does it make you feel? ❜ ❨1314❩ ❛ It’s horrible how we always die alone, but no worse than living alone. ❜ ❨1315❩ ❛ Choose us. Choose life. ❜ ❨1316❩ ❛ You fucking knew that fucking cunt would fuck some cunt. ❜ ❨1317❩ ❛ I’m more of a warrior than you’ll ever be. ❜ ❨1318❩ ❛ What does that make us? The lowest of the low, the scum of the earth. ❜ ❨1319❩ ❛ You don’t have to run away.  ❜ ❨1320❩ ❛ I tried to stop because it was only causing pain. I couldn’t. ❜ ❨1321❩ ❛ I’m not going to get crushed. ❜ ❨1322❩ ❛ I love doubt in a woman. It’s nearly as sexy as determination. ❜ ❨1323❩ ❛ Take your best orgasm, multiply the feeling by twenty. ❜ ❨1324❩ ❛ You’re a mess. ❜ ❨1325❩ ❛ I know that it’s never left you alone. ❜ ❨1326❩ ❛ Are you asking me or telling me? ❜ ❨1327❩ ❛ You just get used to all the shit. ❜ ❨1328❩ ❛ You can’t afford a conscience in this life. ❜ ❨1329❩ ❛ None of us are saints and scapegoats are always handy. ❜ ❨1330❩ ❛ Doing things doesn’t hurt you; you get hurt by avoiding them. ❜ ❨1331❩ ❛ What was that? ❜ ❨1332❩ ❛ Protect me from those who wish to help us. ❜ ❨1333❩ ❛ You can’t love yourself if you want to hurt things like that. ❜ ❨1334❩ ❛ What happens when people open their hearts? ❜ ❨1335❩ ❛ Nobody likes being alone that much. ❜ ❨1336❩ ❛ I don’t go out of my way to make friends, that’s all. It just leads to disappointment.” ❨1337❩ ❛ Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Only assholes do that. ❜ ❨1338❩ ❛ You need to grab whatever chance you have of happiness where you find it, and not worry about other people too much. ❜ ❨1339❩ ❛ I want you always to remember me. ❜ ❨1340❩ ❛ Despite your best efforts, people are going to be hurt when it’s time for them to be hurt. ❜ ❨1341❩ ❛ What stays in your heart will stay; keep them, and what vanishes will vanish. ❜ ❨1342❩ ❛ All I want in this world is you. ❜ ❨1343❩ ❛ I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning. ❜ ❨1344❩ ❛ No truth can cure the sorrow we feel from losing a loved one. ❜ ❨1345❩ ❛ What a terrible thing it is to wound someone you really care for and to do it so unconsciously. ❜ ❨1346❩ ❛ If you’re in pitch blackness, all you can do is sit tight until your eyes get used to the dark. ❜ ❨1347❩ ❛ I’ve had enough hurt already in my life. More than enough. Now I want to be happy. ❜ ❨1348❩ ❛ People leave strange little memories of themselves behind when they die. ❜ ❨1349❩ ❛ Stop eating yourself up alive. Things will go where they’re supposed to go if you just let them take their natural course. ❜ ❨1350❩ ❛ When your feelings build up and harden and die inside, then you’re in big trouble. ❜ ❨1351❩ ❛ When you fall in love, the natural thing to do is give yourself to it. ❜ ❨1352❩ ❛ If I have left a wound inside you, it is not just your wound but mine as well. ❜ ❨1353❩ ❛ Hey, what is it with you? Why are you so spaced out? You still haven’t answered me. ❜ ❨1354❩ ❛ People are strange when you’re a stranger. ❜ ❨1355❩ ❛ The dead will always be dead, but we have to go on living. ❜ ❨1356❩ ❛ You don’t get it, do you? ❜ ❨1357❩ ❛ I am a flawed human being - a far more flawed human being than you ❨1358❩ realise. ❜ ❨1359❩ ❛ At least let me know whether or not I hurt you. ❜ ❨1360❩ ❛ All of us are imperfect human beings living in an imperfect world. ❜ ❨1361❩ ❛ I’ve never once thought about how I was going to die. ❜ ❨1362❩ ❛ So I’m not crazy after all! ❜ ❨1363❩ ❛ I miss you terribly sometimes, but in general I go on living with all the energy I can muster. ❜ ❨1364❩ ❛ Will you wait for me forever? ❜ ❨1365❩ ❛ I don’t want our relationship to end like this. ❜ ❨1366❩ ❛ When am I going to be able to talk to you? I want you to tell me that much, at least. ❜ ❨1367❩ ❛ It hurts not being able to see you. ❜ ❨1368❩ ❛ I’m not totally mad at you. I’m just sad. ❜ ❨1369❩ ❛ The world is an inherently unfair place. ❜ ❨1370❩ ❛ Life frightens me sometimes. I don’t happen to take that as the premise for everything else though. ❜ ❨1371❩ ❛ I’m a real bargain, don’t you think? If you don’t take me, I’ll end up going somewhere else. ❜ ❨1372❩ ❛ We’re all kind of weird and twisted and drowning. ❜ ❨1373❩ ❛ Don’t you think it would be wonderful to get rid of everything and everybody and just go some place where you don’t know a soul? ❜ ❨1374❩ ❛ You’re not telling me anything I don’t know already. ❜ ❨1375❩ ❛ He who controls the past controls the future. He who controls the present controls the past. ❜ ❨1376❩ ❛ If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself. ❜ ❨1377❩ ❛ We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness. ❜ ❨1378❩ ❛ Until they become conscious they will never rebel. ❜ ❨1379❩ ❛ Power is not a means; it is an end. ❜ ❨1380❩ ❛ They are not interested in the good of others; they are interested solely in power, pure power. ❜ ❨1381❩ ❛ Now you begin to understand me. ❜ ❨1382❩ ❛ In the face of pain there are no heroes. ❜ ❨1383❩ ❛ Big Brother is watching you. ❜ ❨1384❩ ❛ Power is tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing. ❜ ❨1385❩ ❛ It’s a beautiful thing, the destruction of words. ❜ ❨1386❩ ❛ The choice for mankind lies between freedom and happiness and for the great bulk of mankind, happiness is better. ❜ ❨1387❩ ❛ Your mind appeals to me. It resembles my own mind. ❜ ❨1388❩ ❛ Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else. ❜ ❨1389❩ ❛ We do not merely destroy our enemies; we change them. ❜ ❨1390❩ ❛ How can I help it? How can I help but see what is in front of my eyes? ❜ ❨1391❩ ❛ You must try harder. ❜ ❨1392❩ ❛ Confession is not betrayal. ❜ ❨1393❩ ❛ What you say or do doesn’t matter; only feelings matter. ❜ ❨1394❩ ❛ If they could make me stop loving you —- that would be the real betrayal. ❜ ❨1395❩ ❛ Of pain you can wish only one thing: that it should stop. ❜ ❨1396❩ ❛ To die hating them, that will be freedom. ❜ ❨1397❩ ❛ No one ever seizes power with the intention of relinquishing it. ❜ ❨1398❩ ❛ What can you do against the lunatic who is more intelligent than yourself? ❜ ❨1399❩ ❛ To keep them in control is not difficult. ❜ ❨1400❩ ❛ So long as they are not permitted to have standards of comparison, they never even become aware that they are oppressed. ❜ ❨1401❩ ❛ The consequences of every act are included in the act itself. ❜ ❨1402❩ ❛ The essential act of war is destruction, not necessarily of human lives, but of the products of human labour. ❜ ❨1403❩ ❛ Stupidity is as necessary as intelligence, and as difficult to attain. ❜ ❨1404❩ ❛ I hate purity, I hate goodness! I don’t want virtue to exist anywhere. I want everyone to be corrupt to the bones. ❜ ❨1405❩ ❛ The past is dead, the future is unimaginable. ❜ ❨1406❩ ❛ You know the answer already. Everyone knows it. ❜ ❨1407❩ ❛ You don’t give a damn what they suffer. All you care is yourself. ❜ ❨1408❩ ❛ It is not easy to become sane. ❜ ❨1409❩ ❛ No emotion is pure anymore, because everything is mixed up with fear and hatred. ❜ ❨1410❩ ❛ They say that time heals all things —- they say you can always forget. ❜ ❨1411❩ ❛ The object of waging a war is always to be in a better position in which to wage another war. ❜ ❨1412❩ ❛ I sold you and you sold me. ❜ ❨1413❩ ❛ You do not exist. ❜ ❨1414❩ ❛ How does one man assert his power over another? By making him suffer. ❜ ❨1415❩ ❛ Obedience is not enough. Unless he is suffering, how can you be sure that he is obeying your will and not his own? ❜ ❨1416❩ ❛ Everything else we shall destroy – everything. ❜ ❨1417❩ ❛ Two and two makes five. ❜ ❨1418❩ ❛ Facts, at any rate, can not be kept hidden. ❜ ❨1419❩ ❛ The past is whatever the records and the memories agree upon. ❜ ❨1420❩ ❛ So long as human beings stay human, death and life are the same thing. ❜ ❨1421❩ ❛ If both the past and the external world exist only in the mind, and if the mind itself is controllable—what then? ❜ ❨1422❩ ❛ The lie became the truth. ❜ ❨1423❩ ❛ It is like swimming against a current that sweeps you backwards however hard you struggle. ❜ ❨1424❩ ❛ Turn round and go with the current instead of opposing it. ❜ ❨1425❩ ❛ It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything. ❜ ❨1426❩ ❛ I don’t want to die without any scars. ❜ ❨1427❩ ❛ This is your life and it’s ending one moment at a time. ❜ ❨1428❩ ❛ You know how they say you only hurt the ones you love? Well, it works both ways. ❜ ❨1429❩ ❛ You are not your job, you’re not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. ❜ ❨1430❩ ❛ You are not special. ❜ ❨1431❩ ❛ You’re not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else. ❜ ❨1432❩ ❛ The things you used to own, now they own you. ❜ ❨1433❩ ❛ Today is the sort of day where the sun only comes up to humiliate you. ❜ ❨1434❩ ❛ Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves. ❜ ❨1435❩ ❛ Only after disaster can we be resurrected. ❜ ❨1436❩ ❛ Everything is evolving, everything is falling apart. ❜ ❨1437❩ ❛ We’ve all been raised believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. ❜ ❨1438❩ ❛ Don’t you have other things to do? ❜ ❨1439❩ ❛ Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity you will become a statistic. ❜ ❨1440❩ ❛ You have been warned. ❜ ❨1441❩ ❛ If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t. ❜ ❨1442❩ ❛ It’s not love or anything, but I think I like you, too. ❜ ❨1443❩ ❛ If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person? ❜ ❨1444❩ ❛ Why did I cause so much pain? ❜ ❨1445❩ ❛ The lower you fall, the higher you’ll fly. ❜ ❨1446❩ ❛ Maybe self-improvement isn’t the answer, maybe self-destruction is the answer. ❜ ❨1447❩ ❛ May I never be complete. May I never be content. May I never be perfect. ❜ ❨1448❩ ❛ Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head. ❜ ❨1449❩ ❛ We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens. ❜ ❨1450❩ ❛ The girl is infectious human waste. ❜ ❨1451❩ ❛ I want to destroy everything beautiful I’ll never have. ❜ ❨1452❩ ❛ On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. ❜ ❨1453❩ ❛ If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose? ❜ ❨1454❩ ❛ It is like you’re never really awake; but you’re never really asleep. ❜ ❨1455❩ ❛ Worker bees can leave. Even drones can fly away. The Queen is their slave. ❜ ❨1456❩ ❛ A moment is the most you could ever expect from perfection. ❜ ❨1457❩ ❛ The people you’re trying to step on, we’re everyone you depend on. ❜ ❨1458❩ ❛ You have to give up! ❜ ❨1459❩ ❛ Reject the basic assumptions of civilisation, especially the importance of material possessions. ❜ ❨1460❩ ❛ Without pain, without sacrifice we would have nothing. ❜ ❨1461❩ ❛ You have to realise that someday you will die, Until you know that, you are useless. ❜ ❨1462❩ ❛ A tiger can smile. A snake will say it loves you. ❜ ❨1463❩ ❛ Lies make us evil. ❜ ❨1464❩ ❛ If you died right now, how would you feel about your life? ❜ ❨1465❩ ❛ You always kill the one you love. ❜ ❨1466❩ ❛ Maybe we should always assume the worst. ❜ ❨1467❩ ❛ Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains. ❜ ❨1468❩ ❛ Which is worse? Hell or nothing? ❜ ❨1469❩ ❛ A minute of perfection is worth the effort. ❜ ❨1470❩ ❛ You’re going to die, tonight. You might die in one second or in one hour, you decide. ❜ ❨1471❩ ❛ Lie to me. Tell me the first thing off the top of your head. Make something up. ❜ ❨1472❩ ❛ I don’t give a shit. I have a gun. ❜ ❨1473❩ ❛ I know who you are. I know where you live. ❜ ❨1474❩ ❛ Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of your life. ❜ ❨1475❩ ❛ My philosophy of life is that I can die at any moment. And the tragedy of my life is that I do not. ❜ ❨1476❩ ❛ Everything is so far away, a copy of a copy of a copy. You can’t touch anything and nothing can touch you. ❜ ❨1477❩ ❛ There are a lot of things we don’t want to know about the people we love. ❜ ❨1478❩ ❛ We just had a near-life experience. ❜ ❨1479❩ ❛ If people think you are dying, they give you their full attention. They listen instead of just waiting for their turn to speak. ❜ ❨1480❩ ❛ I am nothing, and not even that. ❜ ❨1481❩ ❛ This isn’t really death. —- We’ll be legends. We won’t grow old. ❜ ❨1482❩ ❛ Stop trying to control everything and just let go. Let go. ❜ ❨1483❩ ❛ The amazing miracle of death, when one second you’re walking and talking, and the next second you’re an object. ❜ ❨1484❩ ❛ Only if we’re caught and punished can we be saved. ❜ ❨1485❩ ❛ I never thought about how important the sky was until I didn't have one. ❜ ❨1486❩ ❛ Dreams are like that: they go in and out of memories and scenes, but they're never real. They're never real, and I hate them because they aren't. ❜ ❨1487❩ ❛ Power isn’t control at all — power is strength, and giving that strength to others. ❜ ❨1488❩ ❛ A leader isn’t someone who forces others to make him stronger. ❜ ❨1489❩ ❛ A leader is someone willing to give his strength to others that they may have the strength to stand on their own. ❜ ❨1490❩ ❛ In the end, we are alone. ❜ ❨1491❩ ❛ It is like a piece of my soul is lost, empty. ❜ ❨1492❩ ❛ If my life on Earth must end, let it end with a promise. Let it end with hope. ❜ ❨1493❩ ❛ Sorry? Sorry isn't enough. ❜ ❨1494❩ ❛ Every single thing I ever loved is beyond my reach now. Everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever was. ❜ ❨1495❩ ❛ Will you stay with me? ❜ ❨1496❩ ❛ A leader doesn't make pawns - he makes people. ❜ ❨1497❩ ❛ Do you hear that? The pulse of life from your heart, the slow in-and-out from your lungs? Even when you are silent, even when you block out all noise, your body is still a cacophony of life. Mine is not. ❜ ❨1498❩ ❛ It is the silence that drives me mad. The silence that drives the nightmares to me. ❜ ❨1499❩ ❛ There is nothing between us but rain. There is nothing between us at all. ❜ ❨1500❩ ❛ I like a little chaos. ❜
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