why is lesbian such a fought over identity, its not hard to grasp it
exclusively non-men who exclusively love non-men
no other identity is as fought over as this, and its tiring. let me have the term, the word i use to tell people who i am and what I like, you have other words, you have: bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, polysexual, multisexual, hetero/homoflexible at this fucking point
let us (lesbians) have this exclusive term that we use for us, stop taking it
(if you're a woman who loves women and want a term for that, yet love men, sapphic exists, it's always existed)
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some of y’all don’t fuckin know what you’re talking abt and i’m tired of it
this is a rant/vent cuz i’m tired of sm fuckin in-fighting and exclus bs when ik for a fuckin fact a lot of y’all don’t actually know what you’re talking abt. i bet you haven’t even looked into the terms you’re arguing against and just go w/ the bare-bones definitions smn gave you forever ago. if you’re not going to listen to other ppl telling you that you’re being an ass, at least let me give you the actual definitions of the terms.
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Lesbian - queer attraction to women, usually exclusive but not always
Bisexual - attraction to two or more genders, w/ or w/out preference
Split Attraction Model (SAM) - model that differentiates attraction, most often used by aroace individuals but not exclusively
Bi-Lesbian - term for those who identify as both bi and a lesbian; for individuals who use SAM, being bisexual/biromantic and homoromantic/homosexual (lesbian); for lesbians who exp tertiary attraction (queerplat, aesthetic, etc)
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“but that’s not what lesbian AcTuAlLy means, it’s non-men n non-men” not only does that definition exclude lesboys but it also lumps in non-binary ppl and puts us back into the gender binary, espec since ik a lot of y’all mfs only mean femme n afab non-binary ppl when you include us. tell me, a masc/androgynous non-binary person, that you would wholeheartedly accept me as a lesbian and not be absolutely full of shit. go on, i fucking dare you. also, you’re fuckin welcome for the free education, i included links so you can get more in-depth info abt them
okay, that’s it, i’m going to bed now cuz it’s been a day and this shit is tiring
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Reasons someone might identify as Bi-Lebsian
• Using the split attraction model (homosexual biromantic, etc.)
• individual who experiences lesbian tertiary attraction.
• Questioning, being unsure, or being in a "grey-area" between the two
• Person with a fluid or changing orientation (ex. from bi to lesbian), Being abrosexual/abromantic (fluid sexuality) and/or being Duosexual
• person using the historical definition of lesbian (a woman who loves women; although not necessarily a woman, they could be nonbinary)
• Being mspec, but being oriented primarily or exclusively around one's Women Loving Women/Non-Binary Loving Women identity, therefore, feels like they're socially a lesbian and/or feeling a disconnect from their connection to other genders
• Being mspec, but not being attracted to men, so you still use the "non-men attracted to non-men" definition while still being bi, pan, etc.
• Attraction to multigender people, causing one to consider their attraction to both lesbian and mspec simultaneously
• being part of a plural system, such as having a different sexuality when fronting, or being in a median system where one member somewhat experiences their headmate(s)' attraction(s) and/or being in a System with bisexual and lesbian members
• Lesbian who is attracted to nonbinary people who aren't comfortable being included in lesbian attraction, so they fall under the "bi" part instead
• Lesbian who's dating a trans person who came out while they were dating and no longer wants to be included in lesbian attraction, but they're still attracted to them, so they modified their orientation label accordingly to accommodate their partner
• Nonbinary person with lesbian as their gender but isn't necessarily lesbian in orientation
• being attracted to non lesbian Non-Binary Individuals
• using lesbian as an umbrella term
Note: no one is defining you. you don't have to have one of these reasons to be Bi Lesbian. you can be Bi Lesbian if you feel it fits you!
if they’re any other reasons someone might identify as Bi-Lesbian, Let me know!
sources I used:
https://bi-lesbian.carrd.co/#basics
https://pennytable21.carrd.co/#mspec-lesbian
https://mspeclesbians.carrd.co/
https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Bi-Lesbian
https://queerdom.fandom.com/wiki/Bi-Lesbian
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Bi-Lesbian Flag & Shield
Flag
white banner
pink per fess
red base gradient
pink chief
purple per fess inverted
magenta per fess
cyan base
Shield
white banner
pink per fess
red base gradient
pink chief indented
purple per fess inverted
magenta per fess
cyan base indented
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Omg you didnt know about bi lesbians!!!! Bi lesbians are basically girls who are mostly attracted to girls but also to other genders to a smaller degree/frequency. Or just ppl who find both the terms lesbian and bi a little too restrictive :) and yea you can be a bi lesbian if you want!! Anyone who tells you that you can't is 1. wrong and 2. dead
OH MY GOSH THIS IS A REALLY GREAT DAY FOR ME!!! I HAD NO IDEA!!! THIS IS IT HOLY SHIT THANK YOU FOR PUTTING IN INTO WORDS AND TELLING ME THOSE WORDS !!! oh my gosh i cant describe how like elated i am about knowing this now. u are very kind and helpful and sweet and yes! i do want! i do want to be called a bi lesbian!! im gonna go see if theres a bi lesbian pride flag omg im so excited
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