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detailtilted · 1 month

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Next Enhanced Video In Process - CHICON 2008

WARNING: Heavy camera flashes below.

I thought I'd post an update in case anyone's curious. After finishing Comic-Con 2008, I moved on to CHICON 2008. The videos for the main panels are decent and they're upscaling nicely, but you'll all hate the quality of the Breakfast video. I'm doing that one first.

I made some improvements to the originals which are explained and shown below, but I couldn't upscale them. Jared came out ok, probably because he was closer to the camera, but even the most light-handed approach distorted Jensen's features too much.

However, one thing I improved were the flashes. The original videos are nuts. Flashes have been bad on other videos too, but I think the lighting in the room made them stand out worse here. I was afraid they'd give someone a seizure or something so I found a way to reduce them. I probably won't do this again on other videos because I used a free trial that expired and I've already put way too much money into software for this pet project. I don't think it'd work as reliably on the less dramatically flashy videos anyway, but I may reconsider the purchase if I encounter more videos like this down the road.

I also tried to do some color corrections, but it's erratic. Suppressing the flashes doesn't change the real life effect they had on the lighting in the room. Maybe that's why the color correction settings I applied didn't have consistent results throughout the video. I separated out some longer segments of drastically different colors and fixed them independently, but there was just too much fluctuation. Individually analyzing and correcting all 37,440 frames is way beyond the scope of this project (and my patience) and would probably require more lifetimes than I have.

Anyway, I wanted to post a short comparison video so people can see the difference. I think when people just see the enhanced video by itself they'll be like, "this sucks!" I was hoping people might not hate it as much if they've seen how it originally looked. I think the "enhanced" version, once I publish it, will be the best version that's been posted to date, even if it's still crappy.

This video has three 30-second samples:

Original version of Breakfast video.

My modified version.

Sample of upscaled main J2 panel to prove it will get better again after the Breakfast video. (No flashes removed. You can see them, but I think they're less painful.)

I've also made other adjustments that aren't seen in that sample:

The best-quality video has interruptions because the video taker also took pictures. This caused the frame to freeze and the sound to cut out. When possible, I edited in an alternate lower-quality video at those moments. I also edited in the alternate video to cover brief segments missing in the main videos.

The only other video that has the 1st two minutes is one where the video taker was scared to be too obvious about what they were doing and so recorded their legs and random non-J2 objects instead. 😂 But it was still helpful, because I substituted that video's audio in for the sections that cut out on the primary video due to the picture taking. We'll still have a few freeze frames in the first two minutes, but at least we can hear what was going on.

Speaking of hearing, there were some truly ear-shattering screams when Jared and Jensen first came out. I lowered the volume a little in those moments to save your ears some trauma.

This breakfast video will be the next one I release, but my video releases will be increasingly slow. I have something going on in real life that's eating up most of my spare time and will probably continue to do so off and on for most of this year. Nothing bad, just very time-consuming. This is a shorter video though, and I'm already well into the work on it, so hopefully it won't take too long.

#enhanced edition con video development #more DetailTilted rambling

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dangerously-human · 3 months

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3, 26, 50 for the writer ask game :)

Thank you for your patience, I know I took forever to answer all of these but this one took even longer because I decided to indulge myself with ALL the details and that was a time-consuming genuine delight. 😅

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

I am a big fan of playing with metaphor and challenging myself with defined structure. Years ago, I wrote a Continuum fic (Still Here) with POV from every character in the story, with the swaps happening in a sort of chain based on who the characters interacted with - Dillon talks to Carlos, then we're in Carlos's POV until he thinks about Garza, then we're with Garza until she picks a fight with Emily, and so on - all looking at the same theme of how Kiera returning to her time left a hole that deeply affects everyone she left behind. Love giving myself a theme to work around, like chapters in developing relationship fic each based on a color of the rainbow. As is probably quite apparent, I enjoy writing "five times/things" fics and drabbles, and combining the two. Sometimes I go a step further and do the variations on a theme thing for five interconnected drabbles, like the Sparky five senses series. I like giving myself a challenge with fanfiction so it still feels like I'm growing my writing skills, even though a lot of things come easier than with original works.

26. Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue?

Easy, I write fics sans dialogue all the time. I do really enjoy dialogue and I think I've improved my ability to write it a lot, but introspection is still where I thrive.

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!

Oh goodie, love this question! I'm going to answer 29: What songs would be (or are) on a playlist for [Here's a Safe Place to Lay Your Heart Down]? Explain your choices if you want!

I never used to be the kind of writer who had separate playlists for individual projects (outside of the occasional original work), just one massive playlist for the fandom. It's been a fun way to focus on some of the more effort-heavy, long-term WIPs! Here's the one for the ring fic:

The Graduate - The Arcadian Wild: The bittersweetness of growing up and your perspective shifting so you see the world as it truly is, for better and worse simultaneously. "When you were younger, you dreamed of being tall, but you discovered growing up just leaves you feeling small" / "Failing is fruitful, so long as we do not forget to move" / "We are wandering through the wild, we are wondering when not if we'll reach the other side... When we were ever alone? Together we'll make our way home"

Anomaly - Angels & Airwaves: Lockwood crush angst! "I never wanted to say how much I liked you, I never wanted to be one of your sad discoveries" - not feeling worthy of Lucy

Dark Mirage - Matthew Parker, HIDDEN EYES: Lockwood struggling and Lucy feeling helpless. "I don't possess the power to drive off the darkness that's haunting you, I pray the truth gets louder" - Felt fitting for the wallowing portions of this fic, considering Lockwood vastly overestimates his negative effect on Lucy. Also like... this level of angst is exactly what Lockwood is terrified of inflicting on Lucy, it's not actually like this but he's worried it could be if he's not constantly on high alert (which is what Lucy tells him she's willing to do if he ever needs it)

Taxi Cab - Twenty One Pilots: Ooh, this one hits hard on so many Lockwood & Co levels. "I wanna fall inside your ghost and fill up every hole inside my mind, and I want everyone to know that I am half a soul divided" is just such a good way to showcase Lockwood's growth, from the soul divided being between life and death to being part of a whole (with Lucy). The repetition of "don't be afraid" throughout a lyrical story that is so Lockwood all over just. Argh, it's very very hard for me to put this one into words. Like how the "don't be afraid" could at first be giving up but then it's a promise not to. And it gets at the same idea as the books do with Lockwood as both Christ figure and the one saved ("and then I asked them, am I alive and well or am I dreaming dead? And then one turned around to say, we're driving toward the morning sun, where all your blood is washed away and all you did will be undone"). There's a lot of imagery here I associate with the Other Side and the return, and so I connect it with Lockwood sort of dying and, upon symbolic resurrection, choosing a new life that involves opening himself up to Lucy... Ugh, yeah, this one's harder to explain, it just means a LOT to me

Hot Tea - half•alive: Obsessed with this as Lockwood being pathetically in love, tbh ("Wanna be here ar your door 12am and sleeping on your porch until you get in, looking into your eyes endlessly, crawling into your lap desperately"), and "can't afford to lose you any longer" fits very well for the canon era chapter, but also just the warmth of belonging to each other ("Hold you in my hands like hot tea, knowing I'm safe 'cause you want me")? That is always the Locklyle vibe I'm going for, but especially in this fic. Also the line "sip you through my front teeth" makes me think of Lockwood and his blue whale thing, hahaha

Spiders - Bear's Den: I will eventually come back to write the spiders symbolism kidfic that slots in later in this series, which is the only reason I did not end up using these lyrics for this fic despite it fitting the vibe so well. (Love, I'm Trying had at least three WIPs competing to use it as a title for a while there.) But, yeah, the whole thing with spiders as indicative of a haunting lends extra power to this one in an L&Co context, with lines like "I can't take back all the hurt I've caused, everything I love I have somehow lost, it's four in the morning abd the spiders are crawling in my mind, replaying pictures of all I can't undo, love, I'm trying, but I can't oull myself when the darkness comes" - and that being when Lockwood has to learn to go to Lucy, because that's what they do for each other, they pull each other out when they can't do it alone

Rain Clouds - The Arcadian Wild: The growth! While usually I associate this song more with Lucy, it does still work for Lockwood and the guilt he carries, moving from "I'm being shadowed by my past, reminding me of what I was and what I could become" to a sort of conversation of "I need someone to be my guide, listen to my voice, close your frightened eyes, hide behind my love for you, fear's only a choice, one that we all must make someday"

BREAKFAST - half•alive: Chosen as the title source for good reason; this song is all about vulnerability and the mortifying ordeal of being known, and practicing embracing the safety of leaving your heart in someone else's hands - starting out feeling reluctant and even panicky at the idea of openness ("I fled to the walls, yeah, be sure I'm surrounded, where no one can find me") to fighting your instincts and opening up no matter how hard it is, and being met with the reassurance of being seen and loved in all your complexity ("say you're open through tears and trembling, it's a major step, it's okay to fret, here's a safe place to lay your heart down"), and the reminder that messing up doesn't mean you've broken the relationship irreparably ("it's a second chance, it won't be your last"), which is a message Lockwood really needs to hear from Lucy in this fic, as they repeat old patterns with new endings

Lifeline - Angels & Airwaves: The forgiveness and gentleness Lucy offers Lockwood - "We all make mistakes, here's your lifeline"

Your Burden is Mine - Sarah Sparks, Kenny Komatsu: The doing life together part, a reminder that it's pride that intereferes with letting love in - "Don't spare me from anything, your burden is mine" / "Careful, my brother, there on your own, for it is a fool who suffers alone, there's none self-sufficient, only those who try, so swallow your pride, your burden is mine"

TrusT - half•alive: Ooh, this song absolutely messes me up re: redemption, and also unchanging adoration/stability even in the midst of conflict. Lockwood needs to hear it from a romantic relationship perspective ("rest and know the love you hold won't be taken back, no, how sweet the taste of certainty, the gift you gave is safe with me"), but it hits hard for me from a Christian theology perspective - and isn't that just the surprise theme of this fic, the ways marriage is meant as an echo of Christ's love for his bride, the Church. Also fits really well for this in-between space they find themselves in as they have an answer for the Problem yet are still working on the solution ("the tug of war in the now-not-yet... can you tell me why I feel this way? I have faith that the world I'm in will be redeemed again, but there's a weight that I can't explain, so tell me why I feel this way"), which I think is a tension in the background of most of my work in this particular series

The Kitchen - Tow'rs: For the imagery of dancing together in the kitchen as a way of making amends after a fight - "You made me dance in the kitchen with you, if I was the night then you were the moon"

What Home Feels Like - The Afters: Gosh this song is so CUTE, and that is the Locklyle vibe! Just the idea of finding home and belonging with the person you love - "There is no place I'd rather be for the first time in my life, I know what home feels like" / "No, I never wanna leave, 'cause I've found where I belong, this is what home feels like"

Let's Get Married - Bleachers: This is THE love post-trauma song, and fits the warmth of 35 Portland Row so well along with Lucy and Lockwood promising to make it work even when it's crazy hard, because they recognize where they're a little broken but they also believe building a life together is worth it

#personal #writer probs: fanfic edition #lockwood & co

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solarisposting · 6 months

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thoughts on 1989 TV?

I've not yet actually listened to the whole thing because of life hectic-ness, namely foot surgery that has made fun things like Consuming Music I Love suck a lot. So I'm listening all the way through today while I do some scanning for work! This is gonna be a sort of "live react" stream of consciousness thing that I'll ideally edit before bombarding you with my Thoughts :-)

In general, everything sounds so much crisper and I am LIVING

I've always been kinda meh towards style aside from the last chorus, but there's something sooo much better about style tv!! Haven't listened to the OG 1989 in ages, so I'd need to compare to really explain it (and it might be obvious, but I'm not the greatest at remembering the little details from pre-reputation albums bc rep was my first as a a Fan™️)

Her matured and vastly improved vocals are to die for and have been throughout the ~taylor's version~ journey. MWAH!

OOTW is already a gorgeous song, but tv is, again, just so...!!!!!

AYHTDWS is already one of my favorites, so the rerecording has me EMOTIONAL it's so beautiful. Hold me I listened twice (which I consider a sin on full listen-throughs of albums, though I AM a horrid sinner, so)

I still hate shake it off, but this one's much better. Milder hate, more like distaste now, sort of like a mushy thing on the bottom of my shoe instead of the bottom of my sock

IWYW makes me sprint thru the streets at 5 AM even with my recently removed stitches owie

WHAT IS THE SECRET SAUCE HERE?? Do the drums sound better? Idk!

I know bad blood is considered cringey but listen. It's also so fun and the cringe makes us free. Maybe the harmonies on the chorus have more parts?? Gdi i need to do one to one comparisons with all of these. Already salivating over the Kendrick Lamar version at the end of the album I'm excited for him

It's official that 1989 tv has made me really like songs I've been ambivalent or mildly positive towards (like style and wildest dreams now), so that's like actually huge imo

Everything is so pretty! (I'm half asleep now help I'm at WORK)

I Know Places is one of those TS songs I rarely listen to and then I listen and am like "why the fuck aren't I listening to this one daily" and IKP tv has me feeling that More Intensely

Clean is yet another fave and clean tv makes my very soul tremor. Don't look at me for a week

Wonderland continues to be a fucking transcendental experience that electrocutes my spinal column <3 the bridge is even MORE earth-shattering than it was in the original. please see my original thoughts from 4.5 years ago

these feelings re: Wonderland still stand and always will

The first chord of YAIL kind of sounds like the first chord of Give Great Thanks by Dorian Electra lmao

Still not crazy about YAIL but the lyrics and the ****** lore...phew!

New Romantics tv is suuuch a good example of how gorgeous tayla's lower register has gotten. It's so much richer and I guess more well supported?

I've heard that Slut! is actually emotional af...not ready

"I might as well be a joke in love" HOO BOY I SEE NOW WHAT FOLKS HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT

"Got lovesick all over my bed" is SO !!!!!!

Okay yeah Slut! is so fucking good

Say Don't Go has me reeling. I can see why it didn't make the final cut (she is just a little too unlike her brethren to the point that, imo, she wouldn't fit well into the original album as well as the songs that made it do), but it's soooo ggoooooOOOD!!! It gives me almost like...cousin of 1989 and Lover and Midnights vibes?

Now That We Don't Talk...!!!! These vault songs fucking rule, dude.

The end of NTWDT 🤝 Mastermind??

The I broke my own heart 'cause you were too polite to do it ⏩️ I broke his heart 'cause he was nice pipeline and how it rejects the continuation of a cycle of passivity while simultaneously continuing the emotional burden carried by women in their relationships!! And also a cycle of cruelty! These are half-baked thoughts but they ARE thoughts I'm having!! An english degree was wasted on me because my textual analysis skills are still so juvenile,,

Is It Over Now Boo From Fleabag Moment

I WAS RIGHT THE KENDRICK LAMAR BAD BLOOD VERSION IS SO FUCKING AJGKDHAGXGBX AHHHHHH (dats me yellin)

#wow this was an Experience WHEW #ann with an ie #i love you for prompting me to do this anon #i also didn't end up editing anything lmao

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morimakesfanart · 1 year

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Sindria's Prophet #29

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [Intermission] [25] [26] [27] [28]

[AO3] [wattpad]

*more self-indulgent gender affirmation

*CW-implied past sexual child abuse ((paragraph marked like this))

~POV Mori~

The scribes that produce Sinbad's books spent most of their time working with the members of the Black, and White Towers to copy documents and research notes for record holding, The also create teaching material for the Black Libra Tower, and books to sell to other nations in the Alliance. Because of this, they were situated in a building next to the Black Libra Tower. It was an unmarked building in any of the supplementary material I had found for Magi. Most of the rooms in it were full of writing desks, and shelves to dry the new work on. There was a room for creating and storing ink that I would have liked to investigate if I had time. There was another room for storage of all the needed supplies.

As soon as we entered King Sinbad called a meeting where he put the production of his book on hold. He made a point to apologize to those who had been working on it, and offered a boon for the extra work they would need to do once he fixed the manuscript. At least one of these diligent scribes excused himself for an early lunch, and another requested the rest of the day off. Honestly, I would have wanted to do the same if I found out I had basically wasted half a week of work. I was surprised that it was allowed without question.

Watching King Sinbad be a better boss to his people than most of the authority figures I'd experienced through my life felt strange. I reminded myself that although Sinbad was a capitalist, he wasn't ruthless. All throughout the franchise we see constant examples of the people living and working under him being happy to do so. They respect Sinbad, and feel that their own work has value. He isn't tyrannical by nature, nor does he want to be. Even in the final arc, he immediately stopped his plans once he was able to see how war like they were. Sinbad was definitely devious, and manipulative, but he hadn't become conniving or cruel yet. There was still time for him to walk down a different path and realize a different Fate. I was relieved by this just as much as it caused a disconnect in me. I was going to need time to process this, so I put the feeling in a drawer in my heart to examine later.

When the scribes went on break, Sinbad started going over the next issue of the story with me. It was the most cheesy, over the top, self indulgent, hype story I'd ever read -and I've consumed more than my fair share of action shonen series. It would be right at home in a Saturday morning block. I wanted to read it from the beginning, so I'd definitely have to get my hands on the past installments later.

An upside to ink and parchment compared to is that you can remove and fix a mistake without damaging the parchment with an ink knife-if you're skilled enough. All the same, I was definitely going to reinvent the printing press next. I had worked with an old fashion printing press in school, so I understood the basic design and process. And I knew I wouldn't have the same problem that Europeans did when they tried to bring the printing press to Arabian countries. Industrial printing was originally refused by Arabs in the 1500's because the people that were known for using it were seen as magicians and swindlers (for good reason). I don't think I will have as hard a time getting it accepted compared to reality because I was a Prophet respected by these people -and this was fanfiction.

Most of the changes to the next issue were just my pronouns, but there were a few spots that would need a full rewriting. Since Sinbad had never written about someone like me he had me read over his changes for approval. As long as the changes wouldn't leave major gaps in the text, then the scrolls that were already made wouldn't have to be scrapped.

I sat in a wooden chair and leaned onto the desk Sinbad was using as I watched him rewrite another section. Being on the receiving end of his professionalism brought that feeling from before peeking out of the drawer. "When I read Fate, it seemed like most nations don't recognize people outside of the binary." What did this Sinbad think? HIs character is chauvinistic at his worst when it comes to gender, and well meaning but rude at his best. Could he really understand people outside of the binary? And even if he could, why would he care enough to write about one of them accurately? He gave all of the Eight Generals traits that made them virtually unrecognizable. Sure his books gave an eye into other countries and inspired his readers, but their biggest influence was making King Sinbad look better.

The King's smile widened slightly and his eyes seem to acknowledge my concern. "My books are more than exciting adventures. For many, they are the first time they will ever learned about life outside of their own countries. I want to make sure those first impressions are positive for everyone." It was like he read my thoughts. "My Generals have become representatives of their home countries not just here in Sindria, but world wide through my books, and now you too will be the introduction to sides of humanity most wouldn't even think to question." Sinbad looked up at me from the scroll. "There's no need to look so shocked."

I wasn't aware of my expression. "I'm just surprised you are using your books like this intentionally."

He chuckled. "Even with reading my Fate?"

"My visions didn't show much about them after King Rashid suggested you make them. I did get to see their positive reception with the next generation though -like how they have the confidence to change the world too after reading someone else do it."

"I see."

Sinbad only started writing these books because of King Rashid's encouragement. It was clear from the extras that he came to enjoy writing them very much. I knew he was smart, and understood the marketing and propaganda aspects of his books, but somehow it didn't occur to me that he would intentionally use them like this. Hearing him say it reminded me of how he talked all throughout his life. "It's a lot easier to convince a people to go to war if they can demonize their enemy. Your stories humanize the people of every country that appears in them." Sinbad is anti-war; it's the entire reason he became a King's candidate, and why he stopped with the 2nd Calamity once he actually listened to outside perspectivs. "That's the part I wasn't sure was on purpose since I know it didn't start that way." Considering I had hyperfixated on his character for half a decade I was a bit embarrassed that I hadn't realized it.

The drawer holding those feelings opened a little more and I was able to recognize some of them. I was frustrated that Sinbad was easily able and willing to care about the people under him, including minorities, unlike the leaders of the country I grew up in. I was frustrated that Sinbad was the one to do it when he had such obvious greed, and hurts so many people because of it. I was frustrated with myself for wanting to deny the very kindness and thoughtfulness that made me like him in the first place -for wanting to demonize him, and boil him down to only the mistakes that even he regretted. And I was mourning my situation back home that made me not want to accept that better treatment was possible all along.

Sinbad watched me back with a softening expression. It reminded me of the times when he would say- "You're amazing." He said it like I expected then seemed to scoff at himself. "Most only comment on how much good publicity I'm writing for myself."

I joked along with him, "It does do that exceptionally well." My heart swelled so much it hurt. Sinbad is exceptionally good at making people feel valued even when he doesn't actually consider them special. And even though I hadn't felt safe getting into another relationship for a few years, his treatment made me feel like it might be okay again someday. That was more than enough for me. But it did remind me of something that I shouldn't wait to address any longer. "I'm going to miss playing that flirting game with you."

He eyes went wide just as his voice raised in octave with his hum of confusion.

Something like shock or confusion flashed across Sinbad's face, "Ah," before it was covered with a comforting smile. "I see what you're worried about." He put his pen down. "It's only been one day since you found out that people like you exist in this world, let alone in Sindria. It seems you haven't read about my experience with them." ((It's been a few months for writer me, obviously.))

I explained, "Since you know I'm not a woman now." The Magi Character Encyclopedia says explicitly that Sinbad's type is all women. If he was still flirting with me while knowing I'm not a woman it would eventually feel extremely dysphoric for me.

((Reminder: This is a fanfiction I am writing for me, and people like me which includes nonbinary and trans identities. I have been hurt by partners that refused to accept my gender, so this conversation in the fic is very important to me. Mori will not be able to continue to see Sinbad as a potential romantic partner if he cannot accept their gender. If you don't like the idea of Sinbad being extremely attracted to feminine non-binary people, nor trans women, you don't have to read it. Don't comment about it "not being historically accurate" when Magi isn't historically accurate, and this is a fanfiction. This part isn't for you, and you don't have to post anything hurtful for trans people to read just because you can't relate to this experience. I will block you if you do.))

"Yes. That's right."

"Now I know for sure that your visions didn't include my bedroom habits."

"!!" I felt my face ignite, and rested it in my hand. I mumbled a response through my fingers, "No, they didn't." Magi isn't 18+; I had to go to fanfiction for that.

Sinbad's laugh sounded genuine. "I admit that it took me a while to understand people like you -though most of my experience is thanks to the red light district." That didn't surprise me. "Eventually, I realized that I didn't want to deny myself the pleasure of such beautiful company just because they don't match my expectations." He put a hand close to my arm but didn't touch me. "I spent a while talking to them and experienced many things I wouldn't have otherwise." At least he wasn't going into detail about his sexscapades. "Thanks to them, I know that as long as a person doesn't make me think I'm with another man then that's enough for me... regardless of the type of body they have." ((This Sinbad says trans rights.))

My face was still too warm and I broke eye contact again. "I see." My embarrassment was one part realizing I was worrying over nothing, and one part curiosity at what he had experienced.

Something warm tapped my arm; I knew it was Sinbad without looking. His voice purred. "Does that mean I quelled your fears?"

Was this something the me writing this changed so I could feel comfortable flirting with the Womanizer of the Seven Seas, or was it like how straight, gay and lesbian are supposed to include attraction to nonbinary because for allos it's about the physical or something? I don't fully understand it. I do lean into my feminine side, and enjoy passing as a woman, so I don't fault anyone who is attracted to women being attracted to me -it tells me I'm pulling off my costume well. But it's different when they know I'm not a woman and pursue me anyway, as if they're expecting me to become one. I've been openly denied my gender more than once by such people. That's not what Sinbad said though. He found a way to explain his attraction without claiming he only likes women; it's that he's attracted to feminine traits. All of the male leads in Magi that visit the red light districts are shown being unattracted to hyper masculine women. It's played as a joke, but it fits in line with this, and I can see the me writing this stretching that joke like they did with the pink Rukh. I guess I'm suppose to accept that his strict use of words for women was merely because that's the most common type of person that looks this way. ((Not to mention publishing and censoring restrictions.)) Perhaps, I was too worried about something that could be explained away with head canon, fanfiction, and wish fulfillment.

"For now," was the answer I gave. If he invalided me later that would be gameover.

"That's good." I heard the devilish grin in Sinbad's voice before I looked up to see it. And when he spoke again he definitely had his charms cranked up to 11. "Although, I'd still like to do more than play this flirting game of yours if you'd let me." He was earnest, and yet it didn't feel like he was asking with that statement.

I answered -just in case- while giving the hand he put near me a flick. "You'd have to give me your heart before I'd even consider it." And we both knew that would never happen.

The King pulled his hand back with a fake sigh. "Then it looks I'll have to be satisfied with those adorable expressions you always show me."

I looked away from him again, stuck in my unrequited infatuation. The metal tip of his quill made small sounds as Sinbad got back to rewriting the scroll.

In order to fall in love or have physical cravings for another person I have to know them well. I know I'm ace, and have been questioning if I'm on the aro spectrum for years. If I hadn't read the original, if I didn't know Sinbad's Fate I wouldn't be struggling like this.

"Now, I hope my Beautiful Prophet didn't forget the promise they made yesterday." The King commented from behind me.

((CW in next paragraph))

No, it's more than that. Because of those six months when I was 12, I've struggled with trusting my body with anyone until well into a romantic relationship. I have to know that they actually respect my boundaries and care about me.

---

I stepped outside while King Sinbad turned in the revised manuscript and said his goodbyes. The mid-day sun was hot and made my skin start to prickle. If I stayed in the sun my cholinergic urticaria was going cause worse than just rashes. I headed under the overhang of the path connecting nearby buildings. I'd only been able to avoid this problem so far by staying in doors in the middle of the day. I only realized after recovering that it was my fever that made the heat in Sindria not overwhelm me when I first arrived.

That nickname was gender neutral! How serendipitous. ((all according to kakeikou)) I looked back at him to see his arms crossed. "I didn't forget." Okay, I kinda forgot; I didn't know when he would make due on that promise.

Sinbad stepped into the shade where I was. "I've decided to let you pick out some items from the Treasury for the thank you I promised. And since I commissioned pieces -under a misconception- I want to make sure you have options that you chose for yourself."

'I'm gonna to see the Treasury in person!' "Thank you." No take backs!

The King smirked. "I know that expression. You had the same one when we boarded the ship back in Balbadd. I was surprised you didn't start examining my office the same way."

Being called out sobered me up a bit. "I have enough self control to not do something like that during an important discussion." I couldn't tell if he was actually just flirting with that tone.

He laughed. "Is that so?" Oh, okay, he was definitely teasing me.

I closed the gap between us as I played along. "It is."

King Sinbad narrowed his eyes but his smile didn't change. "Alright then. I believe you." He gestured with his closer hand towards the courtyard, and starting walking that way for me to follow him.

((Firstly: I am okay. What happened when I was 12 was more than half my life ago at this point. I've done a lot of therapy, so I can be sexual with a partner without having problems. It just takes me a while to get there. I still have one trigger to work through and I have a plan for slow exposure therapy to get past it :3 (It requires a partner that is willing and able to do that and I've been basically single since 2016, so I don't have a way or reason to do it.) I do still have PTSD dreams about it sometimes which really sucks, but it isn't something causing problems in my day to day life. As I explained on Tumblr a few times, I have multiple types of PTSD, and started writing this fanfiction to help me work through some of blocks I've encountered in my recovery.

One of the reasons posting takes so long is because many of the early drafts of chapters are basically grief letters. I then back track and rewrite with a better understanding of my own personal biases and fears, so I don't project as much on the canon character. It also helps me get an idea of how I look from an outside perspective. The waves ain each draft are influenced by the previous drafts as well as the character motivations, and that helps me change things too.

Secondly, and on a happier note: About a year a ago I started seriously researching the fashion and proper names for things shown in Magi intentionally (I have researched things by accident), so I can write and draw about them better. It's been eye opening now that I know what a lot of the anime and manga designs have been simplifying -the way I draw certain clothing items has been changing as I know better.

I'm at the point where I think I know enough to start using the names too, but I could still get things wrong since I'm still learning the nuance -I'll be taking it slow. I'm also bad at spelling so get confused easily whenever I learn new words. (I know this sounds shocking from how I write now, but reading didn't really click until I was around 8. I struggle with learning written language in general.) There's also the issue of words from different letter/character systems not having exact equals, so I have been finding different spellings in romaji for some of the same words. Please let me know if I end up using the wrong name or spelling for something. I will start using the names in future chapters. I already have up to chapter 32 drafted and I don't remember exactly when I start using the new words, but I wanted to give a heads up.

I wish I had learned about some of these when I was little. I'm on the autistic spectrum so I'm not comfortable with a lot of types of clothes. When I was little I would often wrap and tie sheets around myself at home instead of wearing normal clothes. I'm finding out that some of the ways I tied them (or tried to but didn't have the right cut of fabric or skill) have official names and standard/suggested fabric lengths and materials that are better, and/or cuts of clothes that are close to what I have tried to do. Child me wouldn't have had to reinvent the wheel if they knew about these things, and they wouldn't have felt shame for not wearing "real" clothes (even if they still wouldn't have worn them out of the house).))

#magi prophet fanfic #king sinbad x oc #sinbad x oc #magi sinbad x oc #sinbad magi #king sinbad #magi fanfiction

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namoamii · 1 year

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New anon here!! I don't get to talk about my thoughts on V3 a lot but I think it's a pretty good discussion topic, I'd like to talk here if that's okay!!

Minor TW for mentions of self harm, discussing 'old' Danganronpa fandom.

I'll be very honest here, I like V3 significantly less then the original 2, I'm excluding UDG from that because I also just don't like it. I used to really hate it, but I've come to terms with it by now.

I think V3 had a lot of potential for good meta commentary, they could've used it to address how people can let themselves be consumed by the media they enjoy. At the time it came out the Danganronpa fandom was pretty close to it's heydey, and it was INFAMOUS for the eccentric, borderline obsessive fans. I think we like to forget that people In Real Life were harming themselves over these games, and for good reason. It's very upsetting to think about, and it gives other fans a "bad rap".

This might be in part what V3 was trying to address, the fans who took their love of the games too far, but to me it just didn't hit home. The overarching plot never really connects anything, it's also very loosely put together, and by the end of the game I'm not really asking "What's going on here?"

A big defense I see of this is that it's intentional. They made a game that felt more soulless as a type of commentary in itself, the death of creativity. I think that's a good interpretation to have! Let people think what they want, but it doesn't really sit well with me personally. Now this is all my opinion of course, it just bugs me a lot that most of the major praise for the game I see comes from very subjective interpretation. That's a bad way of putting it. I guess what I mean is that if that's what the developers intended, they could have and should have shown it more, given it more obvious story beats. You can write a vague story and leave things up to interpretation, a lot of really good stories are just that. There's a limit, though. Just implying most of the story doesn't make it a good writing.

Let your audience connect the dots, yes. Let them come to conclusions, but don't rely on them to completely decode the narrative.

There's also the lying mechanic. Not just in trials, but just the whole motif throughout the game. I really enjoyed that for the most part, it was a new and interesting dichotomy compared to the old Hope vs. Despair, which was running itself a little dry. It would've stayed good. If the ending wasn't such a, for lack of better term, dumpster fire. First of all, I don't think Tsumugi makes for a good mastermind. I understand that she was meant to blend in, be a background character, but even in previous games background characters had something. Tsumugi was just boring. A real corporate plant, which could've been a good twist if, again, there was better foreshadowing. Then the elephant in the room, "It was all fiction!" Very bold choice. I personally don't enjoy being reminded that the fiction I'm consuming is fiction. I use it for escapism, I think a lot of people do. Danganronpa especially works because, while it's dark and pretty gruesome, it never really... feels like the real world. Outside of THH, there's always a tangible level of absurdism. Even in THH, it's not as prominent as in other parts of the series, but it's there. I mean Mondo gets turned into BUTTER. That's fucking ridiculous. Point is, Danganronpa doesn't really feel like it's trying to take place in our world. It's a world like ours, but it's not.

This is part of where V3 really falls apart for me. It really tries to keep the tangible absurdity, there's a (fully sapient??) robot, six talking robot bears, students trapped in a giant vivarium esc dome. None of this would happen in real life! Then, it flips a switch, "This is the real world! Danganronpa drove people crazy, made them do bad things!" And they're right, it did. In OUR world. In reality. Danganronpa is NOT reality, and trying to force that tangibility into V3 almost feels.. shameful. Like the team is judging you for enjoying the media THEY created.

But in the end, not even that matters. Because Tsumugi could be lying. None of what she says is provable. Most of what she says is deceitful at best and just. False at worst. The only proof she has that this takes place in another canon is a SKIN RASH that nobody alive was even there to see. Hell. We're shown a flashback that DIDN'T HAPPEN.

So in the end, what was the point? We're left with more questions than answers, an unsolved mystery, 80% of our cast dead, and an entire franchise almost in shambles (the game also came out on the tailend of DR3, which wasn't done well either, so double whammy in the badly executed department). If you take it at face value, then a beloved series that many people adored suddenly means something completely different (if anything at all) to those who adored it. Or, you love V3, and think it was a good meta commentary, in which case good for you I'm glad you enjoyed it!

If you DON'T take it at face value, then you really don't get any answers. Was Danganronpa fiction? Was it reality? Do the survivors go on to end the killing games? Were there more killing games to begin with? We don't know. We might not ever know.

Side tangent, I know I could just ignore all this. Choose to believe that Tsumugi was lying, or ignore the game altogether, you're absolutely right hypothetical protester. I'm just moderately insufferable about this. Danganronpa is all around not the best written but the first two games were very dear to me and shockingly got me through a lot? I was exposed to it young 😭 but I have media literacy now and enjoy picking the franchise apart and V3 is definitely one of the weaker links for me. Back to the main point.

I understand leaving things open, letting people come to their own conclusions, but you can only leave so many mysteries before people get upset. It's me, I'm people. If I had even a few more answers, something solid, I'd be happier. I won't get that though, because they predicated their game on a lie with no truth.

Bonus that none of this would've been an issue for me if V3 just didn't lean so heavily on world building for it's storytelling.

I'm sorry this was so long I just. I have so many thoughts on V3. I feel it's another case of "Danganronpa having an idea with very solid potential to tackle a serious and/or meaningful topic and woefully mishandling it."

I also have a lot to say about Kokichi but this is already a lot.

I hope you're having a wonderful day thank you for coming to my TED Talk shdhdb

(I asked people’s opinion about V3 a long while ago and this is one of the responses.)

I’m completely blown away by your response as it articulated my frustration with the game so very well. The last trial is indeed a completely non-statement. I think just as you said, and I’m simply rephrasing in my own way: the game mixes up the definitions of Truth, Lie, and Fiction. Fiction can sometimes contain Truth within its Lies, Fiction is so much more nuanced and complicated than just Truth and Lies, centuries of literatures have proved this fact to us (even trial one has taught this to us); the unrealistic and the realistic intermingle, making the critique doesn’t map onto the actual real world — we are not like the in-game audience, we know for sure that danganronpa is a work of fiction and the students are actually fake characters living their fictional lives — Kodaka here is making a straw-man argument by projecting his actual audience onto his fictional audience and calling the former dumb for believing too deeply into his fiction, which he not only created, but also is profiting out of. I might be ok with the former, but his lack of acknowledgement of the latter renders the entire scheme rather insincere and not as self-aware as it wants to be.

Tsumugi is a bad mastermind because she is not the mastermind. She is not Junko who single-handedly facilitated the Despairs and the killing game. She is indeed a corporate plant, a member of the crowd, the true mastermind is the in-game audience who facilitated this reality show.

This might be just my own personal cynicism, but I think the shifted direction might be a result of 1) the lead artist Komatsuzaki’s departure from the game (leaving Kodaka alone to design the characters might be a bad move) and 2) the writer Kodaka tries to be like Eva’s director Anno and show his cynicism to his audience. Of course this is just my personal guess.

Thank you for the response and sorry for the long time it took for me to get to show everyone’s thoughts. I want to respond to y’all as well, so allow me to take a bit more time.

#long post #komaedasks #spoilers

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azikarue · 1 year

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2022 Fic Recap

At the beginning of 2022 I told myself I wanted to write more and publish less. This was to allot myself time to work on longer projects I had sitting on the back burner.

Fast forward to the end of the year, and I definitely feel proud of what I've accomplished. If I had my way entirely, I would have made more progress on ongoing fics and WIPs, but you can't have everything. I'm super happy to have participated in MayBlade - it makes up about 99% of my content for 2022. 😅 I look forward to working it (and the baby bout of burnout that follows) into my writing plans for next year.

Before I get into that though, here's a super quick recap of fics I updated or published in 2022.

❖

Bliss

Summary: Life isn't always easy, but there's a certain bliss in tackling it together that makes everything worthwhile. Pairing: Max/Mariam Chapters: 5/15 Words: 28,911 (so far) Rated: T

Chapter 5 (Undecided) is the one addition to Bliss I managed to make this year. I remember spending January and February agonizing over it, only to still need most of March to finish it. Considering it's about 12k words and not the original idea I had for this chapter, I don't feel so silly. I hope to update more this year. 🤞🏻

As a reminder to anyone following it: Bliss is a little jaunt through Max and Mariam's relationship as adults, including plenty of cute domestic moments to make my heart happy and some big conversations/milestones for them to navigate. (Latest chapter is a doozy of a conversation.)

Since starting it, I have mentally had it separated into three loose sections: 1) Boyfriend and Girlfriend, 2) Engaged/Newlyweds, 3) Expanding the Family/Married with Kids. I plan on still following that for the most part, but the sections may not be equal in length. That's mostly because I doubt, in my limited audience, many people have an interest in their children or life past a certain point? Just feel like everyone's headcanons are probably so different for things like that. We'll see how we go lol. This is a very self-indulgent fic, so I'll weigh any feedback I get against that knowledge.

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Just A Moment

Summary: A collection for MayBlade 2022 (and beyond). Pairing: Multiple Chapters: 31/31 Words: 48,864 Rated: Varies (everything from K to M)

This fic is the one that took up all my mental capacity for the year. I loved working out the prompts for this and challenging myself to write without overthinking as much. I'm sure there are some prompts that I could have executed better if I took all the time in the world on them, but when I reread them I don't hate how any of them turned out.

I did struggle to keep up with the intense write, edit, update cycle on a daily basis. I found that if I had anything planned on a weekend, then I didn't get as much writing done as I would have liked and it set me behind. I don't know if that means I need to give myself a SUPER strict word count restraint (I tried, but some prompts got longer than I intended), or if I just need to start earlier next year. One thing I don't want to do is restrict my character usage. I wrote about a lot of characters I've never utilized before in this fic and I enjoyed testing myself, even if it's one of the things that made the event more time consuming for me.

The last five chapters of this took me forever to finish and upload. I feel like I lost so much steam pushing myself so hard throughout the month of May, that I needed time to recoup. I took more time than I strictly needed, and I want to find some way to combat that if MayBlade happens in 2023. Tbh, I also felt some discouragement after the event was over, knowing the last few chapters weren't going to get as much feedback after everyone else was done with MayBlade. But I always knew I was going to finish for myself, and that's what I did and I'm SO HAPPY!

This is also a fic I love to look at the stats for. Different chapters did better on FFN versus tumblr, and I enjoy comparing notes and reviews and seeing what people had to say. I get imposter syndrome really bad, where I think I suck at writing and should quit, but this fic gives me some proof that it depends on what I write about and who happens to see it. It's nice to be seen and have a little validation sometimes.

On another note: I plan on posting an index of sorts for Just A Moment, since each chapter is so different. If anyone is hunting it down in the future (i.e. me) it will be linked HERE when it's finished, as well as on my tags page. ♥

❖

And that's 2022! This year went by in the blink of an eye! I know they say time goes faster as you get older, but I thought I had at least a few years left before it would go this fast.

All things considered, I'm proud of what I accomplished this year. It may be a little list of two fics, but there's 32 updates between them, so I won't complain.

For 2023, I want to update Bliss (at least once or twice), participate in MayBlade 2023 (without disappearing off the face of the earth for months afterwards), and work on/complete some WIPs (especially a multichaptered one I've had in the works for a while now).

It sounds like a tall order, but I'll do my best to push myself. If 2023 is anything like the last couple years, I'll make myself proud one way or another. I'm excited to see where next year takes me, and forever grateful to have anybody reading this or following my stories along for the ride. ♥

#this is a very long post for no reason #jk the reason is I don't know how to shut up #azrfic recap #azrupdate #azikarue #azikarue394 #beyblade

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sinigangsta-ao3 · 2 years

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Thursday Thoughts: How fanfiction helped me to reconnect with my identity as a writer

A little under three months ago (and after nearly one year of consuming fanfiction late at night, when my kids were asleep, and on incognito tabs on my mobile Chrome browser), I decided to take the plunge and enter the world of fanfic as a (GASP!) writer.

First, a little storytime...

I've been writing for as long as I can remember. I viscerally remember receiving a Bugs Bunny diary when I was maybe five or six years old and faithfully recording my thoughts, observations, and daily happenings. Every. Single. Night.

I took special care to hide my diary key someplace safe so that my parents couldn't unlock that tiny journal and read my childish musings (which, when I think about it, were probably misspelled descriptions of my kindergarten crush or complaints about my siblings).

From there, I eventually graduated to managing blogs (specifically, and to date myself, a Xanga), scribbling poetry in the margins of my textbooks, and attempting to write my own stories — original fiction and, yes, fanfiction (Harry Potter and LOTR, to be exact).

Throughout my childhood and adolescence, writing was not just a hobby; it was the most useful tool at my disposal to process what was happening in my life. Especially since I was one of four children, growing up in a very religious household, and I didn't have many outlets or spaces outside of my family, my school, and my little hometown to explore. To question. To articulate the multitude of thoughts that plagued my mind.

I was very sheltered. And not always seen or heard because, simply put, there just wasn't enough quiet or space for my voice to cut through all the chaos. So writing was my outlet. Writing allowed me to condense really convoluted and complex thoughts into something discernible — and, finally, people heard me. They understood me.

And I loved it.

And I was good at it.

So good that, when the time came for me to go to college, I decided to enroll as an English Literature and Communications double major. And I decided to use my four years in university to study and hone my craft. I declared emphases in Creative Writing and Literary Journalism. I wrote stories for my campus literary journal. I served as editor for two sections of our campus newspaper. I was a teaching assistant for creative writing and journalism classes. I got internships for external publications. I had ambitions to work for a magazine after I graduated and/or write long-form, special interest pieces as a freelance journalist.

... But then I got really depressed. For a multitude of reasons. But some big ones were:

Feeling marginalized on a predominantly white and very affluent campus, while my family was dealing with very serious socioeconomic problems back at home (another topic for another Thursday Thoughts blog post, I think...); and

Approaching graduation in the middle of an economic recession — and questioning my decision to pursue a fucking English degree when I needed to think about how I was going to support myself.

Sadly, this led to my (conscious or subconscious, I'm not really sure) decision to abandon my ambitions of writing professionally. And I got a job in Human Resources once I entered the workforce.

And I did not seriously write again for over a decade.

Fast forward to today...

Amidst a multi-year, global pandemic and an ongoing global social justice movement, I experienced another serious depressive episode and a major case of burnout. It caused me to take medical leave for half a year. I started antidepressants to cope with the extreme emotions I experience daily.

And it also forced me to start to do a lot of self-reflection (with full support from my partner and a licensed therapist).

For the first time in over a decade, I had time to pause. To remove myself from the capitalist grind of producing and working and never resting. And I asked myself: Who am I as a person? What is important to me? As I continue to live my life — and particularly now that I'm a mother and someone whose professional life is so grounded in taking care of others — how can I continue to take care of myself? And model what it means to live unapologetically and authentically?

Now, I'm sure you're probably thinking: "What the hell does this have to do with writing porny stories about cartoons?"

And this is my whole point: when I started writing fanfiction a few months ago, it helped me remember that part of who I am — part of who I've always been — is a writer.

And I had lost sight of that part of me when I, unfortunately, abandoned my plans to pursue a writing career.

As a space, fanfiction was easily accessible to me. I didn't have to worry about any barriers to entry, like finding an editor, or a publisher, or a distributor to share my stories.

I could just write. And post it online, regardless of whether or not it was "good enough" or "perfect."

So that's what I did.

I started to write a little fic about a young woman who was mourning the loss of one of the most important relationships in her life (it was really my excuse to channel my own grief of lost relationships).

And people started reading what I wrote. And they started conversing with me. And they began to share how much my writing meant to them, how I was able to make them feel things.

And then they asked for more. So I wrote a sequel about a young man who was dealing with major depression — and who needed to reconcile the mistakes he made and learn how to make amends with those he had hurt (truly, an excuse for me to write about my own experiences with depression and feelings of inadequacy and regret and wasted potential).

And people kept responding. And then I eventually started connecting with other fic writers — who quickly became sources of inspiration and help and shared commiseration. Who, above all, became friends.

And it reminded me of why I loved writing in the first place: because it helped me to feel seen. And it helped me to show other people - I see you too.

Writing has been the best way for me to make sense of the world. Writing has been the easiest way for me to connect with others. Writing has always helped me to understand myself better.

And, in a really silly yet beautiful way, writing fanfiction helped me to rediscover that part of me — the part who is a writer. The part that I thought I had completely lost sight of when I, unfortunately, abandoned my plans to pursue a writing career. The part that I thought I would never be able to find again.

Now, I feel very inspired. I feel connected. I feel creative. And, most importantly, I'm having fun.

I feel like myself. And if continuing to write little stories about cartoon characters is going to continue to help me feel this way...

Then goddammit, I will keep writing little stories about cartoon characters.

#thursday thoughts #personal post #on writing #self reflecting #nina-bean writing

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marianoellaposas · 28 days

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"Senior High Camaraderie"

An appreciation post with the following people who brought happiness and endless memories in my life. I would like to acknowledge our former HUMSS 11 Adviser Ms. Mary Ann D. Abellanosa without her guidance we will not be this far. This journey gives me a lot of comfort with the people around me. They were once my home, my crying shoulder, every time I felt like I did not have the idea to fight for life anymore. Indeed, they saved me from all the circumstances that I've faced in this what we call life. Establishing all their efforts was priceless. They do not only deserve the world but also the universe. Miss Ann, thank you for your guidance and support throughout our grade 11 journey. You will be loved and remembered. Honestly, I've idolized you for what you have become. You are such a model in my life. One of my inspirations is to do better in life. My Grade 11 buddies individually fight for their upcoming future. This smile has different untold stories. Realizing that even though life was tough they still encouraged their selves to always put a smile on their faces. I am silently clapping for their victories and praying that they will get their burning desire. Ain't just my buddies but my sort of young warriors in life. Apparently, despite all of the hardships that we've been through, they are still looking forward and striving for success.

#KUMBATI HUMSS 12

JANUARY 2023 Sugbu Awit 3rd placer with the song entitled "Pandemya". It is a song dedicated to all of the Filipinos who are trying hard to fight and survive for life. The song in the line "Tungod nimo covid nusab ang tanan naapektuhan ang katawhan ug kinabuhi sa tanan" shows that there are millions of people are suffering due to lack of needs and financial because of not being able to work outside since the virus was slowly spreading. In addition, the virus was very harmful and the results show that millions of Filipinos are dying. I want to introduce my co-members to this song. Almera Bonjoc and Alwena Bonjoc as the backup dancers. Kirvy Delan as the singer and Myself as the compositor. Lastly, John Aaron Dagaraga is the one who leads the instrument. The people mention above are known as the "Noella's Minions". There are a lot of difficulties while making this song since we are not professional compositors and singers. To accomplish this we go through brainstorming and sharing our suggestions so that we will easily construct our original song. Delan suggest "PANDEMYA" as the title of our song. On the other hand, the Bonjoc sisters suggest that "NOELLA'S MINIONS' will be the name of our group. I start to compose the lyrics in the first verse until the end. Additionally, dagaraga is the one that borrows the instrument from Cyrus Judillia a TVL 12 student. Sacrifices are already intertwined with success. The result of determination and dedication.

FEBRUARY 2023 Second semester, here we go. Honestly, I'm not expecting to becoming this far. I always have pressure, stress, and sadness while thinking about how to pass. I keep on setting strategies and goals to avoid disappointments to myself and trying to focus on my positive thoughts for me to proceed to another chapter. A big hug for myself for always doing great despite all the judgments that I've faced. I pray, I stand and I believe that I can then I would.

MARCH 2023 Advocacy champion HUMSS 11, despite all the hardships while shooting this video we still do it on top. Even though we have a lot of misunderstandings we still choose to be united because teamwork makes the dream work. The stress that we consume leads us to achieve our desire to get the trophy that we aim for. We all deserve this success after the sacrifices that we've been through. You all have a space in my heart. Special thanks to our very own SSLG President who is also our director Alexa Melika Shams O. Ramos. Additionally, to all of the committees thank you, without your cooperation this would not be possible. To my classmates, you all did well by devoting yourselves and divulging your efforts just to ensure that this task well flow in good terms. Special mention to ma'am Ruby Josephine Louise V. Jabilles our subject teacher for giving us this task and believing us that we will make it. This challenge helped us learn to know about Gender Equality. Thank you, ma'am.

JANUARY 2024 With our very own subject teacher, Sir Chai. No words can explain how happy we are to have you as our entrepreneurship teacher. Farewell Sir Chai, our memories will not be forgotten and they will be forever cherished. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

MARCH 2024 From HUMSS 11 to HUMSS 12. literally how fast the time changes. I would like to acknowledge our very own HUMSS 12 adviser Ms. Geoferleen B. Flores. For her unwavering support and guidance with us. Your presence will always be appreciated. Your HUMSS 12 students sincerely love you despite all of our mistakes you still treat us with all of the good in your heart. Thank you for the free pizza, Miss Geo. Additionally, we also have our pictorial at the GSK building, I can't put my thoughts into words all I can say is "THANK YOU" for being with me since day 1 in this journey.

SENIOR HIGH STUDENTS IN JAGOBIAO NATIONAL HIGHSCHOOL

This voyage helped me to realize to live well in life because life is too short to focus on the obstacles. Realized happiness is where you are, that's why I am choosing this people. I found my home with all of you. I know that we are almost at the end of this journey, I hope that you all get your BURNING DESIRE.

WISH YOU ALL THE BEST! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

#SOAR HIGH SENIOR HIGH!

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kaffeebaby · 10 months

Note

What kinda stuff are you writing about!!

Most of the stuff I'm writing right now are better call saul fanfics. I've always been more of a fanfic writer as opposed to making original characters and worlds.

A lot of my fanfic ideas are the "What if this happened instead?" genre. Like what if Gus rehired Gale and made him work with both Walt and Jesse? That would change a lot of stuff, and I had explored some ideas months ago, but I kinda stopped thinking about it as much as other ideas that were more interesting to me started crowding my mind. I don't want this post to get too long but also >:3c

Lately, I've been trying to come up with ideas for a fic where Chuck forgets to cancel his appointment when he's having his last breakdown, so he misses his appointment and his therapist shows up at his house concerned. And she ends up getting him to a hospital where he can be treated before he has the chance to do anything worse than tear his house apart. That event would completely change everything else that happens in the show, and would even impact the stuff that happens in BrBa, so it's been a lot to think about. I basically have to figure out a way for Chuck's life to become livable for him, plus I have to figure out how Saul can still happen if Chuck is still there and Kim doesn't divorce him due to Howard and Lalo never happening, and. Many other things.

But I have a rough outline of different things that need to happen, and I'm the type of person that daydreams or fantasizes a lot throughout the day, especially at night, so it's nice to have a pet project that has some interesting challenges. I get to justify thinking about blorbos all day because it goes back to something I want to write about.

The one wip I mentioned in my tags was a Chuck and Howard smut that I was writing during January this year. I planned to have it finished and posted on Valentine's Day, but I got the stomach flu like two weeks before that which completely ruined any ability to write people having sex. I tried to keep writing after I wasn't sick anymore, but it was kinda done for at that point, since the deadline was actually really motivating me. I've thought about trying to write more on it again, and I've even considered posting it in its half finished state with an author's note that it's not done. There are very few Chuck and Howard fics, and I only ship them recreationally, so at first I wasn't so upset and not finishing and posting the work. But the more time drags on, the more I feel like there are people who would actually like to read my rarepair fanfic, even if I posted it unfinished with a warning and the possibility I'd finish it later. It works where it is right now, but it's very much not as long as I wanted it to be and there's a lot more stuff I wanted to add that I just don't feel the motivation for at this point. But also that doesn't mean I should keep it locked up forever.

I have some other fic ideas that I've been floating around, but my brain has been consumed by my Chuck Lives AU for a while and it's kinda hard to focus on other stuff. I do have a google doc of all my fic ideas though, and I visit it every now and then when I'm in the mood to write or want to refresh what all of my ideas are. I've been a lot better lately at actually writing down ideas as they come to me so that I don't forget them later.

#long post #not really but tagging it just in case #my own writing #I love talking about my fic ideas because it's fun to actually share what im up to #i dont have any irl friends that like brba and bcs so i only get to talk about my fic and art ideas online #most of my fic ideas revolve around chuck because hes my favorite character and i think his therapy era is so interesting #i do have some fics posted on ao3! though they are just 2 very short scenes about chuck being sick or getting better #ive made some progress with my wips but its all like. lateral progress? is that what its called #when you work on a lot of things one step at a time and get them all a little more done. instead of just working on one thing #and getting that done before moving onto the next #anyways this is getting too long #if anyone ever wants to chat about all my fic ideas and maybe troubleshoot or just shoot the shit about writing stuff I'm available in dms #id even be okay talking on discord too! I'm also kaffeebaby over there. and on ao3 which I forgot to mention

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prismatic-bell · 2 years

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as youre very both old school fandom and also someone who works to preserve old fandom content, what do you think is the best way to print off and preserve fanfics? I've been wanting to start to move my many many many archived pdfs into actual physical copies but ive been way too intimidated to really look deep into it so I was wondering if you had a preference

Okay, so.

My preference is "yes." Yes, I want you to archive them. Yes, I want you to save them. I've worked to preserve 1960s teen pulp mags, for fuck's sake, it can't get much worse than that, and I'm grateful to have them.

With that said, pick any or all of the following options to make your physical printouts last longer: --select acid-free paper --bind by sewing, not stapling --store in archival sleeves, like the ones you use for old comic books And now, pick any or all of the following options to make my life easier as a historian (or, you know, the lives of the historians who come after me): --include the title --include the author's name --include the fandom name --include which version of the canon, if relevant (e.g. the OG Transformers show vs the Michael Bay movies) --include the date, or at least year, of publication --include the summary --include the site of origin, including the URL All of these things are called provenance and help not only to identify a specific work, but to place it within its cultural context. As an amusing example: I recently got into James Bond, and decided to go through every fic in the main pairing tag, in chronological order. There came a point where suddenly, out of nowhere, there were like two solid pages of nothing but A/B/O, which I previously had not seen at all. I had a suspicion, so I looked it up, and sure enough--those two pages appeared within just a couple of weeks of the corresponding Supernatural episode. Having publication dates let me determine that. If I were a historian trying to piece together a long-ago puzzle instead of going "lol I live on the hellsite, I bet I know exactly where this came from," that would be a huge datapoint. I could probably find a similar sudden explosion in other fandoms, as well--and if we're going far enough in the future, if Supernatural were to just vanish off the face of the planet along with its entire fandom, historians could still trace that it existed and even determine some of its events based on when certain tropes begin to appear in other fandoms. And further, the fact that its tropes and major events appear in so many other fandoms would allow those historians to say "this must have been a very, very popular story." (This isn't just me making shit up to sound important, by the way. This is literally how we have records of a lot of things throughout antiquity and even into the Renaissance. The more copies there are of something, or the more references that are made to a thing in other things, the more likely it is for at least part of it to survive. This is literally how we know about Shakespeare's two lost plays--he was a popular enough playwright that quartos of his plays were advertised for sale.) Whew! Now let's get into stuff you could do that would make me, as a historian, scream with delight if I were to open your folder full of labeled, acid-free fanfiction fifty years from now: --write a little something about why you picked this particular fic to preserve in hard copy when doing so is bulky and time-consuming compared to the easy instant storage of the internet, yes, even if your reason is "I'm trying not to use my phone in bed because the screen keeps me awake but this story is soothing to reread" --write a little something about who you are, even if it's just "my name is X, my age is Y, I live in Z, I printed this out in 2022" And last but not least: Marginalia. Marginalia. Marginalia, my beloved. That's when you write your thoughts in the columns on the sides, underline stuff, circle it, and so on. Having marginalia means I actually get a window into your thoughts as you read--your perspective, stuff that stuck out to you, places the story made you feel some kind of serious emotion. And yes, this goes for everything. Villain A kills Hero B and you write "YOU MOTHERFUCKER" in the margin, that tells Future Historian Me that you really loved Hero B, you were invested in seeing her succeed, and that this scene really resonated with you. One of my most treasured possessions in the fandom museum is a copy of the novelization of the Help! movie the Beatles did. This particular copy is very worn--unsurprising, it was a cheap paperback even when it was printed--but also, its original owner apparently took it to the movie theatre and

wrote notes in the margins indicating all the things happening onscreen that weren't in the book. What does this tell me? WELL. Let's go ahead and take a look: 1) the written ink doesn't look any newer than the book, so I'm guessing a little when I say this was the original owner and in the theatre, but I have an actual datapoint I'm basing that on 2) based on handwriting and the main demographic of the Beatles audience at the time, this was a young woman, probably a teenager. 3) she went to see the movie more than once (some notes are in pencil, some in ink, but the handwriting is all the same) 4) she was dedicated to making sure every moment of the movie was preserved. This was an era before home video players, so once the movie left theatres, she had no guarantee of seeing it again. 5) while the book is worn, it's not beaten all to shit. It was read a lot, but there's no evidence it was mistreated, so it was probably a prized or at least respected possession.

What can I extrapolate from this, with the understanding that I mean "what theories can I reasonably form but not prove"? Well. She was probably a pretty big fan, since she went to see the movie at least twice and also bought the book. Maybe she wanted to keep the story after the movie was gone. Maybe she was looking for answers for some teen mag contest like "find these things in the Help! movie and win a chance to meet the Beatles." Maybe she had a friend who wasn't allowed to go to the movie. You know what the most tantalizing possibility is to me, although I'll never be able to prove it and actual ethics as a historian mean I can only present it as one among many possibilities? Maybe she did it as a source reference for writing fanfiction. We don't know. We can't know, because I have no idea who the original owner was or if she's even still alive and no way to trace her. But that? In terms of fandom history, that is a fucking gold mine. Pure 24-karat all through. From a strictly historical view, that's worth more than the animation cel I've got in there, and I paid over a hundred bucks for that thing.

So yeah! That was a lot of words to say "just do it." But there's your answer!

#you ask nina answers #the fandom museum

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owlishintergalactic · 2 years

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This is an anthology of original stories written by fanfic writers. One of them is my own. For so long, fanfic writers have been discouraged from sharing their links to fandom in the original stories world and from disclosing they write fic to the publishing industry. Fic writers have been told many things. We're told we are inferior writers. We're told fic isn't real writing, but practice for originals and, simultaneously, that our originals will never fly because we cling to our beloved tropes and the conventions of our genre. I took these things to heart, for a long time, even as I knew there was an audience out there for the kinds of stories I wrote. Folks who would love the slower, more character driven adventures I wrote with fluff scenes interspersed throughout the action. Who consumed character studies and emotional prose as if they were as necessary to life as food and water. Who were desperate for the sort of inclusiveness in origfic that fanfic has always had. The same inclusivity the publishing industry has barely begun to tap into. So many of my fandom friends can point to a 200k word story they swear is better than any published novel and that it would suffer greatly from being forced into the 100k word or less box Big 6 publishers insist on to reduce risk. It can seem impossible to get your name and your words in print when you want to tell your stories, not those of the publishing industry, and you don't want to stop writing fic, much less renounce it. Self publishing, too, can seem like an insurmountable mountain of work and self-promo. I could sit here and talk about indie presses and niche zines and how they are, for the most part, a friendlier place for fanfic writers, but I mostly want to get the word out that there are two (that I know of) who specifically only take on fanfic writers and have built platforms around supporting those of us who want to be published: Duck Prints Press (@duckprintspress) and OFIC Mag (@oficmag). In the interest of full disclosure, I am both published with Duck Prints Press and became a part of the editorial staff after my story and contract were finalized for printing. I don't speak now as a staff member, but the author I am. I don't ever want to hoard opportunities, because we all benefit when there are more stories out there for us to read. I've got no affiliation with OFIC Magazine and haven't submitted a story to them (yet), but they appeared on my wall and inspired this post. I truly, deeply, down into my very core, believe in the missions of these companies and want to see them succeed (it's why I accepted a staff position in the first place). Publishing needs diversity; not just in authors and characters, but also in style and structure. It needs new stories. Fresh stories. The kinds millions of fandom folk already love to read. We don't need to grow out of our tropes or write something to Market with a capitol 'M'. It's not the only market, and it excludes so many people and so many beautiful, impactful stories. And I am glad there are people willing to put in the time and effort to publish books, anthologies, and publications to showcase all of these amazing tales of adventure, sorrow, intimacy, fluff, and love. If you're looking for paid opportunities to write the kind of stories you love, please check out https://www.oficmag.com/ and https://duckprintspress.com/ for upcoming opportunities. As I learn of more fic-writer-friendly publishers and zines, I will try to share them here as well as my fic-friendly general writing advice and answers to Asks on writing, making the transition from fic writer to origfic writer, and how my birds/guinea pigs/child/wife are doing. And, if you aren't interested, pass these opportunities along and keep on writing and reading. You're all amazing.

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southsidestory · 3 years

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If you are queer af (as you say), why the only thing I see on your blog are f/m ships?

you don't like ship f/f-wlw?

This is a shitty ask. Like a *really* really shitty ask. Just gonna make that clear right off the bat.

Yes, I am as queer af as I say! Questioning that because of what I ship is absurd.

You wanna see the queer content on my blog? Then check my #stucky and #utena and #korrasami tags. There's a little Mor x Emerie and Kelly x Yorkie (from the "San Junipero" episode of Black Mirror, which I highly recommend, my fave queer rep ever) and Stormpilot and Finnreylo and Gallavich and Sambucky and InoSaku and a number of other queer ships scattered throughout my blog as well! But I guess you didn't search too thoroughly before you sent this. 🥰

Most of the fanfic I write is f/m, yes, but not all of it, and even in those stories I often feature queer secondary ships. Some of my best fics are my Stucky works (m/m), I've ventured into Stormpilot (m/m) and Finnreylo (f/m/m), and I'm very proud of my Utena/Anthy story (f/f).

The latter of which, by the way, is one of my less popular fics. Because fandom largely does not give a flying fuck about f/f couples, especially when you want to write them as anything besides fluffy uwu girlfriends!!! Which is not my jam. I like dark angsty romance, and that is very much against what fandom expects from f/f ships. I don't write based on fandom expectations, but I will admit that this obsession with making all wlw content soft and sweet has soured my interest in writing f/f fic. I find it annoying, and annoyance is not conducive to creativity.

I also write a lot of original stories, and guess what, many of them feature queer characters! The first novel I wrote with @reylotrashcompactor is a f/m romance with two bisexual leads. We have a college series planned that has wlw couples, mlm couples, f/m couples, enby romance, and some poly rep too.

But more importantly, it's incredibly rude and queerphobic to suggest that I have to prove my queerness with what I ship. Shockingly, I can write, read, watch, and reblog things that don't always reflect my life and identity! I do not need to perform my queerness via goddamn fandom for my identity to be real.

For the record, I am not a lesbian, and your ask implies that my fictional interests have to be f/f in order to reflect my queer experience. Apart from how problematic that is in and of itself, you're basing it off wrong assumptions about my identity. I'm biromantic and greyace. I've written a number of fics in which characters in f/m relationships are bi and one in which Sakura is on the ace spectrum (see: To Leave Your Love Behind).

If you wanted me to pRoVe my sexuality via my fanfiction to your tastes, your complaint should be that I'm not writing enough ace characters! Which is highly unlikely to happen more, because I really enjoy writing smut, and that is much harder for me to do when I'm portraying a character whose sexuality is closer to my own. If you expect me to apologize for that, you will be deeply disappointed.

And on top of all of that, I WAS MARRIED TO A WOMAN FOR SIX YEARS AND IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER FOR OVER A DECADE!!! Please explain to me how my shipping preferences trump my fucking marriage. I'll wait.

tl;dr I don't owe you anything, my queerness isn't contingent upon my shipping, and expecting me to perform my identity to your satisfaction is gross and prejudiced as hell 🙃

P.S. to my followers: I almost deleted this ask but we need to talk about this issue more. I keep seeing the idea that the fiction people create and consume has to reflect their identities. But only if they're marginalized, of course!! It's bullshit. It's dangerous. It's unfair. And it needs to die with fire.

#asks #anonymous #shipping says nothing about someone's identity and identity doesn't need to be proven via shipping #what goddamn nonsense #queerphobia #biphobia #aphobia #anonsense #shipping

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cherryblossom-chopper · 2 years

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The great year of 2021 is going to end soon. What are your thoughts on it so far?

This year was a roller coaster, honestly. I'm graduating college in literally five days, so that's scary. I'm applying for master's school, which is also intimidating. But I got my cat this year, too, which has been great, and I love having a little buddy. My partner and I are still together and doing well, which makes me happy. My friends and family are all happy and healthy and doing well. I've done a lot of activism this year too, which is something I plan to continue doing.

Something that's also been really great this year is all of you. I really appreciate the community I've found here. I can't thank all of you enough for supporting my work; all of you inspire me to keep writing and improving my skills. So I truly thank all of you for that.

I'm from America (RIP), so I'm not super stoked about how things have gone down this year politically. But that's a whole different bag of beans.

Like everyone else, I've consumed so much content this year, so I'm going to give you all some of my recommendations.

Helluva Boss (TV Show)

➵ A Youtube spinoff show based on Hazbin Hotel. Three imps and a Hell Hound, all living in the Pride Ring of Hell, run a company where they kill living humans for sinners.

➵ The first season has eight episodes plus a pilot episode. It's amusing, but it can be considered graphic/mature. I liked Hazbin Hotel, but I really love Helluva Boss. It's fun, thought-provoking, and has good music. It even has well-known actors such a Norman Reedus (Daryl from the Walking Dead) and Alex Brightman (Beetlejuice from Beetlejuice the Musical).

Miss. Kobayashi Dragon Maid (Anime)

➵ Kobayashi is a programmer who spends too much time at the office or at the bar critiquing the refined world of maids. On her way to work one day, a dragon appears at her door, insisting on being Kobayashi's personal live-in maid.

➵ With two seasons and a movie (currently), Miss. Kobayashi's Dragon Maid stole my heart. I'm a sucker for comedy/slice of life shows. It looks like just fanservice on the surface, but I promise it's not. There is some fanservice, but it is ignorable. The show does have some issues with it regarding the fanservice characters, but I'm at a point in my anime career where it's not shocking. It's a very cute, heartwarming show.

Centaur World (Netflix Original)

➵ A battle-hardened warhorse gets separated from her beloved Rider during an accident involving a magical artifact. Horse wakes up in a cartoonish land in which all of its inhabitants are centaurs in some form or another. Her mission is to find her Rider and end the war, but when a herd of silly-looking centaurs finds her, they are determined to become her friends.

➵This show looks goofy and ridiculous on the surface, but I really enjoyed it. It's one of those shows that takes a dark turn quickly. If you can get past some of the bad jokes at the beginning, I'm sure you'll enjoy it; as of right now their only two seasons (21 episodes in total).

The Goblin Emperor by Kathrine Addison (Book)

➵When his elven father and half brothers die in an accident, an 18-year-old goblin prince is forced to take the throne. Prince, now Emperor Maia, is forced to navigate a world full of eleven aristocracy who are all out to usurp the throne.

➵This book hit all of my boxes. It was so good. Maia is such a sweet character who you can see grow throughout the book. It's a great blend of my favorite genres; fantasy and political intrigue. It even has a splash of Romance on the side, just the way I like it. This book did come out in 2014, but I've only just now read it. I genuinely love this book and Maia. Usually, I'm not a fan of lengthy series because they can't hold my interest, but I wish there had been a sequel because I adore Maia. I think about him all the time and what could've possibly happened if a sequel was written.

The Unspoken Name by A.K. Larkwood (Book)

➵A young orc girl is intended to be a sacrifice to the Unspoken God, but she agrees when a charismatic traveler offers her a life beyond a sacrificial lamb. Follow Corswe on her adventure to discover a great treasure for her master/father figure.

➵So firstly, the protagonist is a lesbian orc woman. Which is A+. Also, daddy issues. I really loved this book a lot. I like Corswe, and the author does an outstanding job of taking emotional advantage of the reader. Also, lesbian orc woman. The author is currently writing a sequel that is supposed to come out next year, so I'm excited about that. There's also a book that I haven't read set in the same universe, but I've only been able to find it in German. So I'm going to buy it soon and use it to practice my language learning skills.

Black Sun by Rebecca Roanhorse (Book)

➵ Every day the prophecy for-telling the return of the Crow God is inching closer. Follow a merchant, a priestess, and a conduit on a unique adventure across a pseudo-Mesoamerican setting.

➵Shut up this book is so cool. It's a dark fantasy novel inspired by Indigenous Mesoamerican culture. How is that not the coolest shit ever?? Roanhorse took great care to research different cultures while writing this book and even has a references page. The setting alone was enough to immediately grab my attention. I'm begging y'all to pick up this book. It's unique, and there was so much love and care put into this book. This book also features a nonbinary character that is a prominent side character, who's actions affect the plot. It is a stand-alone book, but the author has talked about making books similar to this one. She mentioned using the Cahokia site for inspiration. (Cahokia is a Mississippian site in Illinois, USA, the Mississippians being an Indigenous Culture that appeared in parts of the American South and Midwest. It's super exciting stuff, so I linked the wiki page)

#cherryblossom chopper #liv chat

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alliterative-albatross · 3 years

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So, I sent you (@disgruntledspacedad) a pretty long ask a while ago (back when you had anon on) and I'm decently sure Tumblr ate it (or maybe you ignored it, in which case, feel free to ignore this one as well). But then I saw one of those "writers appreciate feedback no matter how long" posts, so I'm back here. Here is my mediocre attempt to rewrite my original review of your work. Bear in mind that English is not my first language, so if at any point my phrasing sounds weird to you, you know why. Mandatory disclaimer/apology: this might get a little too long 😅

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

I remember being SO mad at myself for not finding this sooner. I binge read it one afternoon with no thoughts for any real life responsibilities I might have had (and no regrets). Javiears is one hell of an unconventional relationship in the beginning, and I really love what you did with them. The whole premise of your story is quite refreshing, and you somehow manage to convey the trust and mutual respect there two feel for one another without explicitly showing us the beginning of their "entanglement".

Also, fuck you for what you did to poor Emilio, that man was a saint and he deserved better! I honestly can't believe that I got so attached to a character that appeared so little in the story, but it happened, and his death kind of broke my heart.

But the Javiears reunion + mild confession was lovely, and felt completely deserved. And of course the sex scene. I won't lie, I expected a bit better from Javi there, but I did like how utterly /human/ it was. Capturing that humanity, the imperfections in each character is something you're really good at (more on that later).

AFTERSHOCKS

Ah, my emotionally constipated babies who really need to work out their communication issues. I do love them, though. And this short series did a really good job of delving a bit deeper into Ears's and Javi's psyche. Kudos to you for dealing with the medical "aftershocks" of living through an explosion AND using that experience to move your emotional plot forward. These two need to grow a lot before they can get to a stable point in their relationship, and you really manage to convey their insecurity and fear of commitment/intimacy while making it clear that they're in it for the long run and that theirs is a relationship that WILL work out so help them God.

IF I FALL

Ouch. Punch me in the gut while you're at it, why don't you?

But seriously, "If I Fall" is SO FUCKING GOOD. Don't get me wrong, it's angstier than an image of Jesus on the cross (don't judge me, it's Holy Week and I just got home from accompanying my grandma to church), but it somehow works beautifully. You, my dear, play heartstrings like they're a fucking guitar and I AM HERE FOR IT.

You're doing an amazing job at making me feel everything these characters are feeling, which is both awful (bc pain) and impressive.

Also, if anything happens to Ana I will cry, because she is adorable and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Also also, if anything happens to Ears I will cry, because she is badass and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Also also also, if anything happens to Javi I will cry, because he is loving and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Basically, I am really invested in the well-being of these characters and can't wait until they're happy and safe again (please tell me they will be, my heart can't handle much more pain).

A quick note on the angst complaints: yes, this story is way angstier than most other fics out there and it can be a bit too much at times, especially considering how many chapters of pain it's been. BUT it's obvious that "If I Fall" NEEDS this amount of angst to get where it's going, to send the message it wants to and to properly develop its characters. The pain is as important to this story as flour is to bread. You may not like eating flour on its own (I don't think anyone does), but you love bread (because bread is amazing) and you must recognize that bread NEEDS flour to work. It wouldn't be bread otherwise. And eating the flour as part of the bread even makes you like the flour because the bread is just DELICIOUS.

I fully understand and sympathize with the people who have elected to table "If I Fall" until it's completed so they can binge read it knowing there's a happy ending in sight, but in case you're feeling a bit self conscious about all the angst, please know that your story is beautiful not in spite of the pain, but rather /because of it/.

PS: No, I'm not high/drunk, I just really like bread

AUTHOR'S NOTES

Silly thing to comment on, I know, but I do feel like it's important that you know how useful your ANs have been. There are many details in the story that I simply wouldn't fully get without reading your comments at the end of each chapter, and I appreciate your writing a hell of a lot more knowing how deeply you understand and care for each one of your characters. Plus, it is obvious how much work you've put into researching a country and a time period that are (from what I gather) unfamiliar to you, and I really do believe you've done an amazing job of it.

JAVIER PEÑA

My boy. I love your characterization of this complicated character, and I have eagerly read each and every one of your headcanons about him. I can't really say if your version is fully faithful to the source material because it's been a while since I saw Narcos, but your Javi most definitely reads like a real person. He's fairly consistent as a character, and I feel like everything he does is perfectly natural for him to do as a character. He makes for an unconventional yet deeply interesting romantic lead, and so far I have thoroughly enjoyed all his POV chapters/scenes.

OCs

I know you've gotten some flack for making her into an OC halfway into the story, and while I get why the sudden change may have felt like a disappointment for some, I don't share that sentiment. I firmly believe that this fandom is unfairly harsh towards Original Characters and their creators, and I don't really understand why. Listen, I love Reader fics, and consume many Reader fics. I have read dozens, maybe even hundreds, and I can safely say that I've only ever "inserted" myself in approximately 10% of those stories. Reader characters are not as blank as their writers may want them to be. They can't be. They're characters, and character have personalities and moral values and senses of humor and a bunch of other things. Reader characters may not have a backstory or a physical description attached (and even that's not guaranteed), but they're still characters.

And on a more personal note, pretending they're actual blank slates is naive at best and insensitive at worst. Reader characters are American coded 99% of the time, and white coded 95% of the time. Not every readers is white nor American, even if that's the predominant demographic on Tumblr. When I read a JavixReader fic about a woman who speaks exactly zero Spanish, I know she's not me. The story may be beautifully written and have an amazing plot and character development, but the Reader *isn't me*. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and some of my favorite xReader stories feature a "reader" who couldn't be more different from me, but it's something that enemies of OC fics should take into account. Particularly if they are white and/or American. But I digress.

HANNAH AARONS

Your character is amazing. She's strong, smart, confident, independent and an all-around badass. She gets kidnapped while pregnant and still focuses on problem solving and survival. But she's also overly guarded and mistrustful, and really needs to work on her communication skills. There are times when I absolutely love her and even admire her, and other times when I want to whack her with a slipper. She's no Mary Sue, but remains interesting and likeable throughout the story. She feels wholly human and real, and that's no easy task. I like her, I am invested in her, and I can't wait to see what's next for her. She's a compelling and three dimensional protagonist in a complex story who never fails to draw me in. I love her. She's your baby, and you should be proud of her.

Also, quick question about personality types: I know you've typed Javi as ESFP and Ears as ENTP (100% agree on both, btw), but have you given any thought to their enneagram types? I personally have always seen Ears as being somewhere on the thinking triad, maybe a 7 or even a 6w7, but I'm not too sure about Javi. 9w8 maybe? He could also be a 6w5 🤔

PARTING THOUGHTS

Basically, I love your story, your characters and your writing in general. You are a fantastic storyteller and wordsmith. You get into the heads of incredibly different characters personality-wise (Ears, Javi, Berna...) and manage to capture all of their complexities and quirks every single time. And it doesn't feel like it's something innate for you either. To me, it seems that you have put a lot of work and effort into understanding each and every one of your characters, who they are, why they do what they do and what they want. And let me tell you, all that effort has been more than worth it. "Better Love" is a fanfic, but it wouldn't be out of place in a regular bookstore, if I'm honest. I don't know what you do for a living or if you've ever considered writing professionally, but you clearly have the skills and the drive to create some masterpieces.

You are amazing and your writing is a gift. Thank you for sharing it with us, and have a nice day! ~ 🍪

My friend, I apologize for hoarding your first ask. I’ve been sitting on it because I’m not gonna lie, I enjoy going back and rereading it. It gave me a lot of comfort when I was in a pretty dark place, both personally and in regards to my writing, and I was reluctant to send it out into the the abyss of Tumblr where I might never see it again.

That’s not fair, though. You put just as much effort into sending me that review as I put into my writing, and I apologize for never responding to you.

Okay, anyway, so twice now, you’ve made me cry. In a good way, I promise!

I absolutely love your bread/flour metaphor. It made perfect sense. I want the emotional release of Javi and Hannah’s reunion to be earned, and in order to do that, the angst has to come first (there are also a few plot “ingredients” that have yet to make their appearances). Thank you very much for understanding that, and for voicing it so eloquently.

I appreciate your comments on my research and characterization. You’re correct that I’ve put a lot of time and effort into crafting a universe. In a lot of ways, I’m doing my best to stay true to the source material (regarding culture and timelines in particular), and in others, I’m branching into my own territory.

On that note, I’ve never once regretted fully embracing Hannah Aarons’ identity as an OC. She’s stayed consistent in my mind from the beginning, and it was a relief to finally share my vision of her with the audience. And for the record, I totally agree with you regarding “reader” characters. Every reader insert echoes the perspective of their author, no matter how vague the physical description. I can only imagine how grating that must be from the perspective of a non-white, non-american reader. Thank you so much for sharing your insight! I will certainly keep it in mind the next time I write a “reader insert” fic.

Okay, enneagrams! I am much less familiar with enneagram than I am MBTI, but I agree 110% that Javi is a 9 with a strong 8 wing. I waffled back and forth on Ears a little, but eventually landed on 8w7 for her. It came down to the eight’s deepest fear, which is being controlled. That’s Ears all over, and the fact that she and Javi share that eight willfulness means that they might butt heads a little, which also seems very appropriate for them. Big thanks to @remusstark for her insight into the eight frame of mind - our conversations helped solidify my decision on this. :)

Anyway, I’m just rambling now. The big take-away point that I want you to get is that I am so, so grateful to you, both for your insightful feedback and your dedication in making sure that I actually saw it. You are an absolute gem and a deep thinker, Cookie-Anon, and if you ever feel like sliding into my DM’s, I’d welcome the opportunity to get to know you better.

Mad love and soft hugs,

~ Jay

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sirbarmy-blog · 3 years

Text

Dear Tumblr Community,

I come to you in an hour of need. I'm aware of how helpful this Community is and have enjoyed being part of it under several different usernames throughout time. In the last two years my health has drastically gone downhill and we have found out that it was due to my biological mother drinking for 6 months while pregnant with me. As my health declines further I've set up a GoFundMe as I'm now disabled but still navigating the Social Security System. My business has suffered as well. Tomorrow 7/14 I face a surgery to attempt repairing one wrist and will not be able to use my right arm for a minimum of 6 weeks. This means no income. I need assistance and have tapped out all financial resources in the past 4 months. I've managed to raise a little money of my $500 initial goal but it's now been over a month since that time. Please read my story below and I hope you find it in the kindness of your heart to share this post, or even donate! Thank you so much everyone!

"Hello all, my name’s Michael & I was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) due to my biological mother consuming alcohol on a regular basis for 6 months while pregnant with me. People with FAS suffer from partial brain & physical damage. Our life expectancy is shorter than the average person & without proper intervention life expectancy is around 37. We are often victimized, sexually assaulted, & taken advantage of & all three happened to me as a child & young adult. Due to FAS, I struggled in school with ADHD, understanding mathematical concepts, reading music, was mentally naïve, & struggled socially. I had to attend speech therapy, had severe separation anxiety, have my metabolism monitored, & when I was 3 I sat in the middle of a room without even moving for three hours.

At 15, my knees would lock into place & pop painfully. My muscles ached daily. My wrists & jaw could pop out of place. I’d have random asthmatic like issues, couldn’t control my appetite & would unintentionally regurgitate everything I ate. A surgery on my wrist in 2008 would only be a temporary fix. In 2019 I started to rapidly decline. After seeing my primary doctor about it, I have now had more doctor visits than I can count & have been seen by 31 different doctors & take 25 different medications daily.

I now require several surgeries. My care team & I are in the process of disability and can no longer work a normal job. I struggle to get out of bed at times & at 31-years-old I use a walker & cane to assist on days I can barely move. Even with these I need to use compression clothing at times. Braces for my ankles, knees, & wrists are needed at times. In a 36-hour time frame I was admitted to the ER 3 times due to abdomen complications. Today I have been diagnosed with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity Syndrome, Impingement Syndrome of the Shoulder Region, Ulnar Abutment Syndrome of Both Wrists, Hearing Loss of Right Ear, Arthralgia, Chondromalacia Patellae of Right Knee, Osteoarthritis of Left Sternoclavicular, Primary Osteoarthritis of Both Knees, Cartilage Disorder, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Sleep Disorder, Anxiety, Moderate Episode of Recurrent Major Depressive Disorder, Binge Eating Disorder, & PTSD.

Due to the disability process, I can’t work a job & SSI has not been approved yet. The ADRC is helping. My unemployment has been pending for 2 months. My significant other & I have used up any money we had saved & been selling things just to pay bills & take care of our cat. Medical bills, insurance bills, & utility bills are behind & we also need help with gas to get to my appointments, to pay for my meds, certain procedures/equipment needed, & to keep our internet & electricity on as we no longer have funds. I am raising money to help pay my bills & anything can help just to get through." - Originally Posted 6/5/21

Add: A brain cyst and B12 deficiency was also found recently.

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