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vnusoki · 2 days

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I CANT BE WHAT YOU NEED . . .

ノ synopsis. you loved them, of that you were sure. so why did you leave them ?

ノ tags. satoru gojo, suguru geto, nanami kento, toji fushiguro x reader ( separate ). angst. hurt/ no comfort. reader leaves. the men have fatal flaws.

ノ a/n. this is some sad idea I had at the back of my head. the title is a song lyric but I can’t remember it’s name but it’s famous. made this rlly quickly so don’t mind spelling errors.

SATORU GOJO’s fatal flaw is that in a relationship, he could never truly open up to someone. be it his lover, which in this case is you, he can’t find himself telling you his deepest darkest secrets and at the beginning of your relationship that was fine.

you were still fresh to this whole thing and you wanted to take it slow, but the closer you got, the more you knew of him, the further he got away.

it was as if a string had been attached to him, like he was a fish, and whenever you caught him, he would be pulled back by something invisible to everyone but you.

it was like satoru was blinded to it himself.

that had been the reason why you left. satoru was too caught up in his own world. he lacked the ability to truly connect with his significant other yet alone anyone. but he had once, a long time ago.

SUGURU GETO was too caught up in himself to ever truly commit himself to you. you noticed it at first, in the beginning but you hadn’t minded it then. it had been hidden behind the cold lie that he was just passionate in his work.

his work, in fact, consisted of crimes and whatnots. things that thoroughly bugged you but you payed them no heed. turning a head to them, you would walk down the corridor and away from the truth you desperately wanted to hide from.

days went by before suguru would ever truly come to bed, and even then you didn’t speak much, exhaustion having taken over his body, he would retire for the night, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the stars twinkling in the night sky.

you thought he was a star once, from the way he shone one but now he was even more so like it. a star that only isolated himself.

NANAMI KENTO was a work-aholcoholic. once, you’d teasingly remarked he had been married to his wir more than he had been married to you. yo hadn’t thought on it then, but now you could see how right you were.

kento was practically married to his work. he prided himself of getting the best business ideas out before any of his co-workers. that meant staying up late and working till the early hours of the morning.

he never had time for you anymore. first it had been absent nights, but now, it had turned to him not even giving you a kiss goodbye when you left for work.

it was as if you were a roomie that hated the same bed with the other. not that you were partners, or that you were married. you had left the very same night his project he’d been working on for so long, became a success.

TOJI FUSHIGURO was a dangerous man. a traumatised one before even that. he had been through a lot, suffered a lot, and had come out on top.

people had left him. even his previous-wife had left him, not that it was her fault, but you could tell from the scar on his lip, to even the harsh look in his eye that toji was unfamiliar with anything staying permanent in his life.

you’d let it off the first few times, when he made you stay with him a lot more than usual. insisting that your friends wouldn’t mind you skipping just this one weekend. that one weekend turned into several.

until your friends had complained about your controlling boyfriend. they’d been the ones to open your eyes to tojis unhealthy attachment issues.

you’d left before he could become even more stuck to you than he already was.

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morverenmaybewrites · 3 days

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Hiya! First of all your blog’s interface is so cute i’m rolling on the floorrrrrrr

Second of all your writing is absolutely amazing, i’ve just finished reading “the pizza delivery girl’s survival guide to gotham city” and lemme tell u i can’t wait for the next chapter cause absolute gold-

I wanted to ask what your thoughts are on Jason and day-to-day life outside of costume. Like, dude HAS to go outside as himself at least every once in a while, out of pure necessity. How do you think he goes on about it?

Aw, thank you, I'm glad you like my blog interface and my fic. I think it depends on how much he's progressed in processing his trauma, to be honest!

I imagine when he first moved back in Gotham, he avoided going out as much as possible, for a multitude of reasons. First, because he was still reeling emotionally from Bruce enacting project Knightfall (aka faking his own death), he was recovering from the injuries he sustained during the events of Arkham Knight (and of course, the injuries he got from the Joker). Most importantly, he is adjusting to living in a city he once hated enough to want to destroy.

I feel like those first few weeks were painful for him. Every place is filled memories, and while not all of them are bad memories, they often feel too painful to revisit. He likely spent most of his time cooped up in a safehouse (which was established as something he makes no effort to make comfortable), only going out when he absolutely had to. Interacting with the city and its people as little as possible. While I don't think the Joker ever meant him to survive his torture, the amount of scars and physical injuries he bears means that a lot of his interactions bring a lot of (misplaced) guilt and shame. Did that shopkeep spend too long looking at his face, his scar? Maybe he'll pass by some hole-in-the-wall shop and remember that he and Dick and Barbara would cool down there after patrols. The ramen, he'll think, is surprisingly good. The owner is a smiling, heavyset man who insists that they never pay for their meals. Maybe he'll even take a single step toward the shop, only to remember that the scars on his hands make it so it's hard to hold cutlery without shaking. That there are days when it's physically painful to eat. And he'll shake his head and walk away.

But I think the more he interacts with PG in the story and the more he fixes his relationship with his family, the more he'll be able to interact with Gotham City. Maybe going to the grocery won't be treated like a military supply run. Maybe he'll look up from his carefully-curated list and realize a type of candy Barbara used to be obsessed with is back in stock now. Maybe he'll put it in his cart, and for the first time in a while, he doesn't have to think about what he did to her as the Arkham Knight. One day, he'll wake up before his alarm and remember that you used to talk about watching the sun rise over Gotham Bay. He'll take a long walk along the shoreline and watch the way the sky turns into soft shades of pink and orange, and he'll be surprised at the realization that there are still beautiful things in Gotham. Maybe your face will flash in his mind, and he'll think that perhaps he shouldn't be so surprised, after all. Maybe one day, after a long night of patrol, he'll pass by the ramen shop again and this time, he decides to stay. The only thing that has changed is the owner, who's gained weight and a few gray hairs, but his smile is still the same. He'll bring Jason's order without asking, and he'll insist that he doesn't have to pay for it. Eating doesn't hurt as much as he feared. In fact, some days, he can move his hands without feeling pain. This is one of the good days. Maybe on that good day, he'll be surprised to find that the ramen is still good. That he can think of the days he used to stay here with his family after patrols, exchanging combat tips and juicy bits of gossip. And this time, he's able to smile.

#ask #anon #jason todd #jason todd x reader #it is actually SO important to me that PG loves gotham city while for the early chapters jason mostly sees it as a duty to be borne #jason learning to fall in love with gotham city all over again #jason finding beauty in the mundane #i just woke up after a 24 hr shift the other day so here have some word vomit

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greghatecrimes · 2 days

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Okay. Buckle up babes, it's finally Foreteen time and I wrote an essay.

Foreman and Thirteen are so interesting to me in so many ways. You have Foreman, who thrives off of control, and Thirteen, who refuses to be controlled in almost every aspect of her life. In the sense of them as individual people, they both have a lot of their own issues going on. Hot messes, the two of them. But in the sense of them as a couple, I think Foreman specifically is the only one who has issues with the relationship. (Or rather, Thirteen's issues aren't being projected onto the relationship and causing difficulties at the end of s5/beginning of s6, while Foreman's are.)

Foreman's biggest thing, at least in the latter part of their relationship, is control in regards to emotions. After they found Kutner, he coped with everything by isolating himself. A huge part of me thinks that's because this terrible thing just happened, the floor just fell out from both of them in so many ways, and Foreman feels like he doesn't have a grip on anything anymore. The only thing he can control is himself, and how he reacts. So Thirteen? Even though she's his girlfriend and he's worked with her for two years, her emotions and reactions are fundamentally beyond the scope of his control; she's still a wild card. She's not safe. So instead of letting himself lean on Thirteen, letting them grieve together, letting them comfort each other, for his own stability, Foreman chooses to cope (and thus reject Thirteen when she reaches out for support) by retreating into an environment that he's intimately familiar with. He surrounds himself with only variables that he can confidently predict. It's his gut instinct. It's always worked before, so why wouldn't it work this time? Why would it have any reason to cause problems?

In season four and the first half of season five, Thirteen was very much the same way. When things became too overwhelming for her, she repeatedly dealt with them by running, by hiding; by trying to isolate herself from the people who care about her and want to help her. The same base principle drives them both at this point: "what's out of my control is dangerous in some way or another. The only one who's safe to be around is myself, because I am the only person that I can control." But by mid season five, Thirteen has come a long way from that. Slowly she's becoming much more of a "recovering control freak". She's starting to be okay with the fact that she's not always going to have the amount of control that she has right now. She knows that all of it is something she has to come to terms with, and slowly she's getting to a point where she's accepting her diagnosis and working on all the baggage that comes with it.

Thinking about that– the fact that, by mid season five, Thirteen is approaching a point in her life of letting go, of learning to 'go with the flow'; while Foreman is very much still on the side of "I thrive and keep myself safe by controlling every aspect of my life possible"– makes them fundamentally incompatible as a couple from the get-go, even with all of the chemistry they had. Because the moment they get together (the Christmas party in 5x10 "Joy to the World") is right after Thirteen's decided that she doesn't want to die; when she's just starting to process her diagnosis instead of running from it.

Do I think there was/is love there? Yes. They absolutely care about each other, both during and after the relationship.

Do I think they would have worked out long term? The simple answer is "no".

The more complicated answer is that if they had been able to avoid the fiasco of Foreman running the department and then firing Thirteen after House quit, I think they could have made it work. But it would have been rocky, and it would have been especially rough for Foreman. Extremely so if it were to reach a point where they've stayed together for years and years, and Foreman is with Thirteen when she really starts to decline with her Huntington's.

Foreman is Thirteen's friend; he's also seen people slowly wither away from degenerative disease (his mother, with Alzheimer's), and he's a neurologist (and so he knows exactly how she'll decline, down to every last detail). All of those things give him greater emotional stakes in her Huntington's diagnosis beyond what's typical. But specifically in the situation of them facing this as a couple, you have this level of involvement where Foreman– someone who needs a high amount of control to function on a fairly basic level– is in an incredibly intimate relationship with Thirteen, whose entire life is inevitably and actively slipping out of her control. And in that scenario... I think that when the decline does start happening, it would absolutely terrify Foreman. To be the one that's by her side as a partner– seeing all of it firsthand, the pain and grief and sickness? And as her significant other, being the one that would potentially become a medical proxy when she's too sick to advocate for herself, faced with the possibility of making life or death decisions (like whether or not to euthanize the woman he loves)? I think that would have the potential to utterly destroy him.

As a friend, though? ("Ex-partners who have gotten back to a shaky friendship after the breakup, and still care about each other deeply", but "friends" for short.) The entire situation completely changes. I firmly believe that post-canon, if Foreman knows House offered to kill Thirteen before he "died", he would offer to kill her in House's stead in a heartbeat (just like I think Chase does). THAT sort of involvement with Thirteen's decline and care is far less terrifying, because now this is not the decline of someone that he's based his entire future on. This is not someone he's given half of his heart to; this is not someone he's built an entire life with and entwined himself so thoroughly with.

With the way things work out in canon, they're still friends, and they still care about each other; but at the end of the day, they're two separate people with two separate lives, two separate futures. And so Foreman doesn't lose a single ounce of his control as Thirteen's is slowly taken from her, bit by bit. Witnessing that is still a pain that is unimaginable. But for him, it's survivable. And that's the key difference (and why I ship Foreteen during season five and season six, but not post canon).

#this has been sitting as a bunch of voice memos in me and Bee's discord convos for MONTHS and i'm so happy to finally write it out #doomed yuri vibes and i can make another post to elaborate on that at some point #i love them a lot even when they hurt me #house md #hate crimes md #hatecrimes md #remy thirteen hadley #eric foreman #remy hadley #foreteen #my meta #meta

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scuffedclang · 3 days

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GW2 ROLEPLAYERS

So. I've had this idea reserved for some time, now I finally have the drive and time to pull it off.

Y'know how the GW2 world/public RP scene is kinda well, barely existent? I have an idea that may resurrect it in some way.

This will be for US servers!

HERE WE ARE! This is my WORLD RP RESURRECTION PROJECT!

The idea is to basically make whole cities or areas the " RP event" for quite a few hours, so it's a faux event with no set premise and is only really there to drag people to the area.

World sharding kinda broke random walk up RP for the most part, buuut what if there was some type of anchor point for a single shard?

I plan on being that anchor point, I'm going to select two days of the week and for about 5 hours a night/afternoon set up a squad for people to jump in and jump out of if they want, but at least everyone will be in the same shard. I will probably rotate through cities, meaning a different one each day, people can set up their own events or businesses for these days to make these places feel a lot more lived in, I would appreciate anyone reaching out to me if they are interested in doing such, a lot of coordination is going to help this kind of project in the long run. This will of course be headed by the efforts of a fairly small guild, any help will be extremely appreciated. We are currently deciding on what days this whole thing will be, might make a poll for it if people like this idea enough. My contact information on discord is: clang Or if you want to find me on GW2 it's: CLANG.2715 Likewise with the poll, I might post a more detailed plan of everything soon.

#gw2 #guild wars 2 #gw2 rp #gw2 rp event #gw2 roleplay #guild wars 2 roleplay #guild wars 2 rp #I moved from EU servers to US servers a while back and while it is slightly better it still has its problems #still unlike EU a project like this has more of a chance to flourish on US servers.#after roleplaying in WoW for soooo long and coming to GW2 I always felt like there has been something lacking in RP for me #there's so many interesting and talented roleplayers hidden away and I want them to unleash their amazing characters on the wider world!

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latteandjacks · 15 hours

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"They should've made an emphasis on Sallie May being trans before" "There should be things that openly indicate she's trans aside from the horns" "The merch shouldn't show her with a bulge if she's trans, logically she should hide it"

My brother in Christ shut the fuck up

Aight, I get where most of you are coming from but let me just say that Sallie May is a big breath of fresh air from a lot of canon trans rep I've been seeing in the internet about big projects such as Helluva Boss, let's go point from point

This contains spoilers from Hell's Belles

Sallie May is a transgender Imp, this is not something that was decided just now for the short as her first appearance in the moon harvest festival already shows her with the thick line horns (Which are exclusively from AMAB (Assigned Male at Birth) Imps

If there's only one point these people made that I agree with is the fact that the horns thing should be something implied in the show, not specifically with the intention of outing a trans character but something simple that could give more context for those who do not check the wikis or the social medias that often

Other than that, I feel like they haven't actually meet a trans person irl because they believe that her being trans should be something that everyone should catch the first time they see her, that someone should inmeditaly point out she's trans, yet, they get upset at the fact that she's proudly showing a bulge on the merchandise They want the show to scream verbally about her being trans but not casually

You have no idea how relieved I felt when, at no point in the episode, her being trans was mentioned or outed, none pointed out her horns or voice and instead the problem was her feeling left out of her sister's life, and, again, not because she's trans and feels like Millie doesn't view her the same or some bullshit, but because Millie doesn't go home as often and felt a bit mad when she had to do her work In fact! Her not getting genitalia reconstructive surgery is also a thing that is cool about her, she got tits but didn't chop off the dick and is not insecure about it, most of times trans people are put between not getting surgery or getting ALL of the surgeries AND being extremely insecure about their genitalia, and yes, there's a lot of trans people that feel that way, but I think that aspect of her is really good representation for those that don't want to get surgery or only want to either reduce or enlarge their chest, not everyone gets dysphoria the same way and this doesn't make her less of a woman for that

Even if it's okay to have characters where one of the main issue of the comes from being trans (I have a few myself), It's also nice to see character that are trans but the main issue with their life comes from something completely different and not related

So for people upset about her passing so well you can't immediately tell she's trans Surprise! That's a lot of us want, that's what a lot trans people irl try, to just be a person of the gender we really are, to be normal and not needing to always out of ourselves, to be treated the same no matter what I make a lot of jokes about my lack of dick and my excess of tits, I only out myself as trans when formally presenting to someone and that is just because I'm not allowed to be trans so I don't pass as a boy at all and need to specify, but me being trans is something that most of my friend only bring into the conversation to make a friendly joke or when I bring it up

Sallie May is not only good representation, is one of the best I've seen in a while in the modern adult media, because she's subtle yet obvious You may not like Viv (Me too girl /non gendered), but I got to give it to her, the lgbt+ representation she does is on point

Anyways now that I tackled down that issue is time to actually talks about this short as a whole see ya

#helluva boss #helluva boss sallie may #helluva boss millie #helluva boss spoilers #hell's belles

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ahsoka-in-a-hood · 23 hours

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Started thinking about temple living quarters.

The standard I see in fic is private apartments, shared with a padawan if there is one, usually with a small kitchen and so on, like a regular apartment. It stands empty when they go away. TCW shows fairly small dorm-like rooms occasionally, but animation is expensive, so. I've also seen the term padawan-dorm referred to with confidence, so that probably crops up in a book somewhere. I was thinking about semi-communal living, in a place without nuclear families and

how particularly when it comes to cooking, whenever I've been in a situation where I'm close to the people I'm living near, cooking and eating solo were the first to be compromised and become a communal activity. I stayed private with most things but not that, at least not most meals.

how jedi aren't even at the temple most of the time when they are active, because they're supposed to be serving the whole galaxy, so whatever quarters they would have would be standing empty most of the time, and on a planet that is notoriously short on living space to boot

I don't remember the source but I remember a reference to the temple historically using it's towers as a beacon, sheltering people in times of disaster. Not having completely private apartments for jedi would free up space to serve as refuge and so on.

They're not supposed to accumulate possessions, strictly speaking. ...which doesn't necessarily mean having nothing, but maybe they don't have a habit of collecting personal furniture so much? Or just an excess of stuff? Idk.

Privacy is essential but at the same time spending so much time on the move makes the idea of returning to a solitary apartment on your time off kind of lonely. Especially if you have to cook all your own food. (I may be fixating on the kitchens here)

Also for masters and padawans it might be nice to have a break from each other at the temple and see other friends more, tbh

I like the idea of them just having a bunch of communal spaces scattered around, where even if their rooms are small, there's lots of places to hang out with each other and catch up, or relax by themselves if they want.

And maybe they have smaller but still shared kitchens rather than one big industrial scale kitchen? It's just not restricted to a single knight who is barely there. Maybe jedi cook together as bonding thing.

Baths? Communal baths? Like Roman or Korean style.

Imagine a bunch of half-finished art projects just lying around, untouched until the jedi in question gets back from wherever.

I could go even further and bring up the concept of no bedrooms everyone just takes out their bedrolls from a closet and sleeps side by side on a clean (under-heated) floor, which is something I have experienced.

#jedi

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indirigo · 7 hours

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My take on the Toshiro/ Laios fight

I just wanna share my opinions bc I see a lot of people here boiling it down to oh Toshiro (bc that’s his name btw not Shuro) big meanie and neurotypical hates Laios bc he’s autistic, which completely decontextualises the fight and Toshiro’s background.

Yes, I understand why people are pissed at Toshiro ,and as an autistic person who’s been alienated my whole life what he said to Laios did hit very hard, at first I was pissed too so don’t mistake me as someone completely siding with one or the other.

Also I’m a firm believer that Toshiro is autistic as well FIGHT ME.

Toshiro is first of all very sleep deprived, hasn’t eaten, and shocked not only from seeing Falin turned into a chimera but also discovering that her brother allowed dark magic to be used on her; Toshiro grew up in country with different social norms, AND in a very strict household with a not so nice father, he was taught since his childhood to suppress his emotions (mask) and not complain. This means that he will not complain about something until he has had enough and his frustration spills out unhealthily.

Toshiro ever since joining the group has been called Shuro by Laios even tho that’s not his name, and never knew how to deal with Laios’ excitement towards him (bc again he was taught to suppress his feelings).

Laios on the other hand almost does not mask at all! (Which good for him honestly) and yes he is socially awkward and has bad timing but guess what TOSHIRO IS ALSO LIKE THIS (he literally proposed to Falin after not even telling her that he likes her) Toshiro sees himself in Laios but also sees Laios as all those things he was taught were WRONG; at the end of the fight Toshiro realised he was ENVIOUS of Laios, and I feel like people blatantly ignore it.

This is also connected imo on why he “hated” Laios but fell in love with Falin even though they have similar traits (I wanna make this point clear also bc I see a lot of people treating Laios and Falin like they’re the same person, they’re not) , Falin, like Toshiro, is way more reserved and imo he projected a lot of himself on her.

Now onto the other side, Laios is right, Toshiro should’ve told him more clearly that he thought he was annoying and interrupting him and Falin a lot of the time, bc Laios had no way of knowing as he cannot read Toshiro’s mind. And that’s just the truth.

So in conclusion what I mean to say is that yes Toshiro was mean to Laios during that fight , but the argument was so much more nuanced than how some of the readers interpreted it. It’s ok to recognise that Laios also made mistakes and we know he is extremely intelligent, let’s not dumb him down for the sake of the argument.

And saying that you want Toshiro dead over this is a bit extreme😭 and I say it as someone who got the Laios treatment multiple times.

That’s all, thank you for reading🌷

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon #laios dungeon meshi #toshiro dungeon meshi #shuro dunmeshi #dunmesh spoilers

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icyg4l · 1 day

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PAC: What Can You Do to Pass Your Finals?

Hello beautiful people! It is about that time of the year again where us students are struggling to meet deadlines & have to study for the dreadful finals. Well, I’m here to give you all some tips on how to pass your final exams this season. I will be using my True Heart tarot deck for this reading per usual. If you resonate with this reading enough to want to book with me, please read my guidelines and dm me for a reading! Without further ado, please select your academic weapon!

Left-to-Right: Pile 1-3 (Elle Woods, Dionne Davenport, Jade the Brat)

Pile 1: I feel like this pile really needs to consider having a study buddy. That would help you tremendously. Doing things like going back and forth to repeat formulas, coming up with sufficient answers for mock trials and practicing for a foreign oral exam with another person can be some of the things that you do. Study dates are absolutely necessary. I feel like you also need to change the scenery. Go somewhere that you’ve never been before, particularly near a body of water. And another thing that you can do to help you achieve academic success is chewing gum while you study. It’s scientifically proven that chewing gum can improve your memory & can boost your test scores (only if you put the effort in though beforehand lmao).

Cards Used: Death, 7 of Cups, Princess of Cups, Knight of Cups.

extras: being by the water. trees. hair twirler. fidget spinner.

Pile Two: I think the best thing that you can do is ask for assistance directly from the source. I feel like this is specifically for those who are struggling in their math or science classes. I get the feeling that you don’t want to take this class ever again. So, you need to get situated and fast. I feel like this pile may be going through a separation/breakup from their partner. It may be affecting your ability to focus on school. But it is best that you not only seek academic guidance from the source, explain your situation to them so that they can understand what you’re going through. They may direct you to some mental help. I feel like another thing that you could do is practice grounding exercises. Surround yourself in nature. Go bicycling or hiking. Go to a conservatory. Lastly, another thing you could do is go for a swim. I feel like you need to get moving. You need to get physical before/while you’re getting ready to study.

Cards Used: 7 of Cups, 9 of Discs, 2 of Cups, Judgment, Queen of Cups, 5 of Cups, Page of Cups.

extras: pull ups. heartburn. feeling helpless. “unusual.”

Pile Three: This pile feels very extreme. It’s a crucial moment in your academic career that could either make or break you, it seems. I think that this finals season determines whether or not you will have to go to summer school or whether you will get into that school. Maybe even going to the next grade or having to retake that particular class. So, you have to buckle in. I am seeing someone crack their knuckles and stretch out their neck. I don’t get the feeling that this is a traditional final. It could be a project or a paper that’s graded harshly. It could also be a collaboration. Whatever it is, I feel like your mother figure could help you a lot with this. She knows more about this subject than you think. Allow her to help. Another thing that can help you is reaching out to people who have done the same project as you in previous years or the semester prior. And lastly, take really good notes from people who are well-versed in this subject. They will come in handy & you won’t regret that you did it.

Cards Used: The Tower, 10 of Discs, The Lovers, The Moon, The Empress.

extras: “it’s gametime.” “appealing.” sweaty hands. marnie. beats headphones. deep breath in & out.

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lucifertoxics · 1 day

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wifey I'm having such a bad day 😭😭 I need me some Marcus 😭😭💗 This would be a good moment to release your beautiful draft or I'm getting on my knees ready to beg for something cute of him😭😭

(if you need ideas you know I got a new haircut so how would he react to the reader changing their hair?? or maybe cheering them up after a bad day?? xx😭😭)

note 💌: wifey your wish is my command so sorry for not managing to get to this faster but lately i have been trying to keep up with everything so here this comes

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one and only | marcus lopez arguello

pairing: marcus lopez x reader | genre: established relationship | warning: no warnings <3 | word count: 0.5k

[ BACK TO MASTERLIST ]

One thing that Marcus hated the most was not being able to spend more time with you lately. He has been planning lately how to kill Master Lin and in such a fashion he forgot to pay attention to you. Which he was reminded shortly, when he found you crying in your bed.

Wrapped in a blanket, with you head laying on the pillow, letting our little sobs, that's how Marcus saw you as he entered the door. To say that he was speechless couldn't express even half of what he was feeling. You. The love of his life. Were crying. Never in a million years he couldn't have been more hurt by seeing you like this. As the emotions ran through his heart, he ran to you.

Leaning by the side of the bed, holding your hand, slowly waking up from the somewhat trance you were in. He caressed your cheek softly, before speaking. "Hey..." Marcus said almost in a whisper, not knowing what to say exactly as the concept of love has never been taught right by his parents. "What happened baby?" He continued in the same tone.

Moments after hearing his voice, you lean into his touch, taking a moment to observe his features. He looked like he hadn't slept properly for days. His tired eyes searching for yours. Calmly you take a deep breath, nuzzling your head into his chest, taking in his scent. It was familiar. Comforting.

Your day couldn't have been worse, from working with Maria at a project and later being threated by Chico for daring to even talk to Maria in the first place, not only to not seeing your boyfriend as he lately he has been spending a lot of time planning with Saya. But you couldn't just bluntly say it right into his face, because you knew damn well that i would hurt him.

"Maria..." You say wiping your tears, barely giving him any information about the situation that you were in. The moment he heard you blurt out Maria's name, getting up and clenching his firsts, knowing what he had to do. He growls. "I'll fucking kill her."

"No..." You said, taking his hand and squeezing it. You wanted him to stay there with you, to keep you safe. "Stay..." You whispered to him, moving his hand to make him lay on the bed next to you. Knowing that fighting Maria will get him into trouble and that you needed him, he decided to lay down next to you. Wrapping his arm around you and making you the little spoon.

There were no words needed when it came to the two of you. Marcus loved making you feel loved even if he couldn't spend more time with you. He lets out a loud sight and leaves a trail of kisses on your back. Even if he was angry at Maria, hearing your heartbeat always managed to calm him down.

#marcus lopez arguello #marcus lopez imagine #marcus lopez smut #marcus lopez x reader #marcus lopez x y/n #marcus lopez x you #marcus x reader #writing #deadly class #benjamin wadsworth #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo x you #mattheo x y/n #mattheo x reader #mattheoxreader #slytherin boys #slytherin

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yuurivoice · 3 days

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A lot of creatives have a point where they have that sorta "Nobody's gonna wanna see this/nobody will care" feeling about their work.

I was wondering if you've ever struggled with that sort of feeling, be it about your audio content or even just other creative projects? If so, how did you end up overcoming it in the end? Do you ever feel that way these days?

Only if you wanna answer ^^

Oh plenty of times! Whether it's due to imposter syndrome, or just a general numbers slump, or something you worked really hard on just not doing as well as you wanted it to...plenty of ways to end up with that sorta hopeless feeling.

This is one of the times where it truly matters why you started doing the thing in the first place, when your intentions get checked. That big ass filter will hit you eventually. Are you here because you wanna create, or because you want number go up? Would you be doing this even if there was no compensation, or are you tapping out the moment you aren't profitable?

So you take a deep breath, feel bad for a little bit, then take a look inwards. What could you do better? What can you change or do in addition to your current approach? What are others doing that's working, and why isn't it working for you?

Sometimes auditing yourself to see what's not working can be rough. Looking at your peers might press on your insecurities. But if you actually want to improve in terms of reach and growth, you can't just piss and moan about algorithms, or how other people are successful, or any of that.

You can always improve in some way or another, and there are always alternative paths to success. Whatever that might look like for you!

When Finn's content was first coming out he didn't do super great. He was cute but he wasn't doing numbers. It bummed me out and soured me on pushing him real hard at the time. Years later, his compilation with many of the same videos I didn't love ended up being my first video over a million views.

There is ALWAYS a way to make shit work. It might not be right when you expected it to be, but it can surprise you if you keep hustling.

A lot of the recent changes I made with thumbnails and other stuff came about because I was frustrated in this exact way. 7 years into it and I was still looking for ways to get better and kick more ass. It'll happen again and again because I'm here for this shit and it's not just a job, it was a hobby that I fell in love with and take pride in. I like getting better, whether it's in the business side or if it's my writing and acting.

But I've never immediately spring back from that initial feeling of frustration. I'll mope and feel bad and get frustrated and upset.

Then it's over, and I get back in the saddle.

So keep on trying, keep on creating, and try to find the joy in it all!

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leidensygdom · 2 hours

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Ok, I'm gonna start a post idea I had been pondering. If you're either mentally or physically disabled and you have opinions about representation, this is the thread for you!

So, I've been seeing more people trying to tackle the topic of autism in their stories, but I've felt some of it tries to woobify a bit what is to live with autism, or just focus on the more socially acceptable quirks of it. And as someone with autism/ADHD (was suspected of it for most of my life, got it finally diagnosed by my therapist (who specializes in autism and ADHD) last year), sometimes I'd like for people to acknowledge the more unsavoury parts of it, the weird quirks, etc.

So, this post is going to be about that- If you wanna help people understand how your disability/neurodivergency affects your life, feel free to add to it! Just mention what do you have (no need for a full list, just what you consider relevant to the post) and some experiences, quirks, anecdotes or such that you think that are not often seen in stories or media, and that you consider an important part of it. They don't need to be huge things! I encourage people to share just whatever they feel comfortable. My list is gonna be a mix of stuff, but yours can be very different. Let me start!

Clothes and how they feel was surprisingly one of the most disruptive parts of my autism. As a kid, if I was forced to wear something that caused me some bad texture/sensitivity issues, it would significantly affect my behaviour and performance. It took me many years to be allowed to use mostly sportswear. (And it turns out being a "girl" (not anymore) wearing only sportswear tends to cause a whole lot of bullying)

This happens even nowadays. I've found out that non-heeled boots are more comfortable to me than sport shoes, because feeling something against the back of my foot makes me feel overwhelmed. I tend to wear yoga pants under actual pants, because they keep the actual pants' seams from causing sensory issues. There's almost a sort of ritual on how do I need to combine clothes to be able to function "normally", mostly consisting on reducing how much they annoy me.

On that topic, hygiene is actually a huge thing too. As a kid, I wasn't allowed to shower daily. Days I didn't shower, no matter how much I tried to keep my hygiene in other days, were "bad days" to me. I would literally plan hanging out with friends or eating out around the days I was allowed to shower. I could physically feel the difference between the day I showered and the day I didn't (even if I washed my face, armpits, used the bidet, etc).

This is true even nowadays. I can thankfully now shower daily, which isn't recommended by a lot of experts (specially because it can damage your hair and skin), but it's more worth to me than having days where I feel like I shouldn't be seen in public.

Being overwhelmed sucks! Meltdowns are mostly associated with kids, mostly because adults either learn to mask them, or do everything they can to AVOID having that meltdown. I've mostly figured out routines and such. There's this one place we go eat out every other Tuesday- And in the hours we go in, there's a sort of silent corner that is always free. This week's schedule was a mess, so we went yesterday to that same place, and the silent corner was filled with a very loud group. I got extremely overwhelmed. But enough masking drilled to me means I just sat there unable to talk for maybe 30 minutes.

Autistic adults still do have autism and experience often the full spread of traits, they've just found ways to mask, or avoid being in situations where they do need to do that. I've adapted my life and routine to that. But sometimes I land on situations out of my comfort zone that will make me feel just like when I was a kid. I want to freelance online because I'm fully aware I can't perform properly in a public facing job.

Group projects sucked so much. I know they suck for most people, but most times it was easier for me to do the entirety of the project by myself and add the others' names to it than dealing with chasing people for their parts. My college had a 6-months-long massive group project in the last year, with a 7 people group, which obviously I couldn't do alone. The whole experience was so harmful in so many ways I've had several full therapy sessions talking about it :'')

One of the reasons it's because mental flexibility is HARD with autism. If i set a schedule, I expect that schedule to be followed. If people agree to do a part, I expect that part to be delivered (unless there's a proper reason) on due time. People hate this a lot usually! It will tear group projects apart!

Stimming can be harmless, or it can be very annoying to some. I tend to shake legs and play with something in my hands. I could easy this off drawing in classes- My high school found out that I was paying more attention when I was allowed to draw in classes, and my academic performance was pretty much perfect, so they gave me permission to do that.

However, I had a teacher in middle school that did forbid me from drawing. I stimmed during a class with pens- She got so mad she sent me home with a note to my parents they had to sign. Fun!

Not exactly an anecdote, but I am ace. I hate the discourse about "making an autistic person be aro or ace is infantilizing autism". Aro/ace people can have autism. That's just how it is. I've been infantilized a lot for being ace- Which only got worse because I am autistic, and people perceived some of my special interests as child-ish. The combo didn't make things easy.

On that topic, people will often be very patronizing of your opinions or takes for being autistic. I've had people debate my sexuality (or lack of thereof), my gender identity and presentation, my hobbies, my preferences for everything, down to "what do you want to eat tonight?". This isn't too different to shitty takes about how "autistic people are more prone to being affected by the trans activistsTM", because people assume autistic people can't choose on their own. Trust me: We can.

Anyhow, I'd love if this post could be a good compilation of these sort of anecdotes! I think it could help people who wanna learn more about what is it to live with specific disabilities (and how to better portray them in media)

#nd #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #disability #disabled #autism #adhd #neurodivergencies #long post

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perplexingly · 2 months

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I’m so damn tired

#when I first started working whre I do I made the mistake of being reliable and efficient #and ever since then any work that needed to be done fast/that others didn’t want to learn was put on me #and it’s especially bad with one coworker who’s beena senior for years who kept delegating a lot of his tasks over to me #and I got super annoyed last week and then we had a chat about it #and he started started saying that I need to be more patient #and when I gave him feedback about his work ethics back he said ‘but I’m old I can’t learn new things’#💀#he also keeps saying that I need to learn to talk these things through with ppl (because I complained to my art dir rather than to him)#but then any work that requires collaboration with another department he always delegates to me #like I’ve never in my life seen him talk with ppl outside the 3d art team #it’s so tiring every time we’re on thr same project it feels like I’m doing work for two people 💀

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sysig · 7 months

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Wouldn’t want him getting lost now, would we (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #ZEX #The Captain #DAX #Me quietly while watching Muppet Treasure Island: Don't | My brain: Haha anyway- ♪#I don't even have to reread! My brain just does this nonsense! It's still Right There at the forefront of my mind #At this rate I'll have to go pick up Treasure Island from the library *shakes fist* Stevensonnnnnnnnnnn #I will admit that the itch to reread has been growing but mmmmn I've got fics to vet for printing! And that one's technically unfinished!#I mean I might break soon lol but mmmmnnnnn!#Same thing when I was in a Treasure Planet mood years(?! how has it been that long and I still haven't rewatched!) ago #Anyway yes these were inspired by rewatching Muppet Treasure Island lol - it's just one interpretation after the other!#If you happen to go seeking out Professional Pirate you might recognize the second shot as when Jim has been kidnapped by the pirates #I kinda just interpolated from there lol #Same vibe as the set I made a while ago of ZEX piercing the Captain - there's just Something So about ZEX leaving a mark on him!#Not directly altering him (at least more than skin-deep haha) but decorating him! Dressing him up! There's Something about that #Like a living museum - how much does ZEX project onto the Captain? There's a lot of weird vibes around them <3 #He wants A Human and he has His Human but hmmm ♪#Well for the time being that's his only human - and seeing as he's collared but without a leash in the last one he's not running away!#It's progress haha #Hhhh drawing the Captain in pirate garb really is one of my favourites <3 I had so much fun the first times around and it's still fun!#His hair is for some reason I cannot explain easier to draw in this setting - there is no explanation I can think of but it is! Why fight it #ZEX is also very fun to draw in pirate gear haha ♫ I really think it's one of his handsomest interpretations #I always think he's pretty! But something about the pirate aesthetic adds to his masculinity? :0 #He's still a swishy pirate hehe ♥ Maybe it's the open chest on his tunic haha I just think he's very handsome!

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hadesoftheladies · 14 days

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hate going for christian weddings sometimes because i always see the prettiest women with the ugliest men, the sermon is always some shit about wives being slaves (but not like bad slavery, mutual slavery except the husband is a benevolent master which makes it okay) and making babies for their husband, the music is always lame, the mc is always weird and obnoxious, and older women keep fucking asking me when it's gonna be my turn and never take no for an answer.

#mine #personal #brief storytime in the tags #one of my family friends got married and i was happy she was happy #her parents are like an aunt and uncle to me #i was happy to share that moment with them #we cried and laughed together #and my friends #their other daughters were on the line and looked gorgeous #it was just beautiful watching us all grow up in a way and move on to “the next” together #BUT #im a pastor's kid #and my dad loves weddings #he drinks them in whenever he can now especially because they make him happy and he's had to attend a lot more funerals this year #he's been burdened a lot by how many people he's had to bury and how many hospital visits he's had to do #so i was happy to see him happy too #it just all felt so bittersweet to me #because i know how badly my parents want this for me and for themselves #there was a daddy-daughters dance at some point and i could feel my dad beaming beside me watching that #and i was a little sad about it because i was like im never gonna give you that #this could be the best thing i could ever give you and i will never give you this #i can never kneel at an altar in front of a pastor and swallow that sermon #i would never marry a man in my generation #if i married a woman you and almost the entire tent filled with people that watched me grow up would not attend #my happiest day would be another funeral for you #it was worse because im kind of a small celebrity in this community because of my parents and their siblings who are politicians #so people i barely knew kept coming up and asking me when it would be my turn and how they so looked forward to the day #and i was like i love that we're a community here and i missed the pestering of aunts since i left church #but at the same time i was glad to remember why i left #there is no freedom to be myself at all with them because all they do is project their beliefs and ideas on me because that's what children

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ra-vio · 2 days

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semester is almost over. im dying

#my oc #rune #mori #i have a project due tomorrow and its finally scared me back into drawing #even though i should be working on this project but im SO SO SO TIRED #i went on an outing like 2 weeks ago the same week that i walked everywhere cause i was desperately #trying to get my taxes done but thats a different story but the point is i was walking a lot and i went on an outing where i stood all day #and then i had to go to class the very next day thinking i was fine but i wasnt.#and that same day after i walked across the city because i absolutely had to pick a thing up. i think the same week i met up with my mom #a couple of times but i was walking the whole way there. my point is that for 2 weeks straight i have been rigorously walking everywhere #and on my feet all the time with little breaks in between and my feet fucking hurt man #i need this semester to be OVER i need to sleep for a MONTH #but i cant because i have to scrape together SOME of this project and finals are next week #this class this project is for fucking sucks. all semester ive been teetering the line between pass and fail #and its not even my fucking fault. im so burnt out so i dont want to do this project. but i might fail if i dont #i need to at least demo it but i have like. one thing done and i dunno what to tell my TA about i #how do i tell my TA and prof that everything is too much for me so i absolutely could work on this project #my laptop is broken so im afraid to use it. the server kept going down last month so i was afraid to use that #so many stupid little things keep piling up and i'd sound really weird trying to explain why i cant do my work #because my desk is on the floor and it makes me really sad so no i cant do my hw. my fave candy has red40 in it so i had to stop eating it #but now i cant do my work because i was using it to help me focus on my hw. LIFE SUCKS BRO #anyway whatever happens. i cant wait to play video games again

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perenlop · 4 months

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this is gonna sound so backhanded but after 3 letdowns in a row from pokemon (followed by a game which isnt terrible but i dislike because of how much it fucked up the plot of sm), then a game that i genuinely really love and want more in the style of and largely because of how it deviates from the main series, im genuinely so shocked that i love scarlet and violet as much as i do. like when i was going through that tutorial i was just cautious and waiting for the other show to drop and be bored at best, but like, graphic glitches aside, it never came. it stayed really fun and charming

#like is it acceptable that it came out so glitchy when its a $60 console release? absolutely not #i think the game has a lot of issues and i dont blame people for not being happy with it #but i think what makes this better than swsh to me is like. swsh sorta feels like it was made out of obligation sometimes #like. tpci and gamefreak treated galar like a kid would treat an art project in a medium they werent interested in #but they were being harassed for that good grade so they powered through and hated the result #and sorta just tried to hide it when they got home from school that day #not that there isn’t anything to like about galar or it has no substance whatsoever but when i played it i couldnt shake the feeling #that gamefreak was embarassed of it. like they did not want to linger too much on this game #i think the anime switching format was a good idea in the end cause just putting ash in another gauntlet after he won the alola league would #would have been weird but its veryyyy telling to me that they changed the format so drastically #that we didnt even spend all our time in galar. their home base wasnt even in galar #and in the game they emphasize that kantos got better pokemon and everyone loves them better and theres not a whole lot to do #and there was always just this feeling of insecurity and dissatisfaction with it #and for all its faults- i cant say the same thing about scvi. this game oozes with charm and care #the writing feels like someone genuinely cared about these characters and wanted the best for them and the story #the gameplay feels more involved and confident. they got more experimental with the format #idk it feels like people LIKED working on this game to a degree and wanted the player to have fun #echoed voice

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