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#but every time i try to edit or write on my phone the paragraphs become out of order cause it for some reason thinks that if i tap and hold
nanzyn · 11 months
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ahhhh I seriously seriously seriously need to stop writing directly into the box on AO3. I know it's stupid. every time I lose work because I forget to hit "save" and then the page reloads and I lose whatever I just added I'm going to kms
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gameofsevens · 9 months
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hey cowboy! for the ask game, I have a lot: 13, 16, 24, 46, 57 and 74
Howdy!
13. what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?
I don't know if this is a tip I saw or a rule I came up with myself, but I try not to start a sentence with the same word twice in a row. That usually applies unless I'm making a stylistic choice to repeat. One that I do know is a tip I saw once was how to tell when to start a new paragraph. I do think I'm a little too excitable when it comes to starting a new paragraph, but I think reading on my phone makes paragraphs look longer than they actually are.
16. already answered
24. Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?
I remember it clearly: sophomore year, accelerated English II. We were learning about passive and active sentences, and the teacher told us that in both creative and professional writing, you should aim to mostly use active sentences to keep your reader engaged. I then wrote a report that included a fair amount of passive sentences, and when he called me up to ask about it, he said he highlighted all the passive sentences--spoiler alert, he missed more than half of them because, like I'll say next, they didn't matter. He said I should've written those sentences he highlighted in active form, and I said "but I don't care about those sentences--they don't matter in keeping the reader engaged" because in my mind, they're transition sentences that are only there because of necessity. If you only have active sentences, it can become too much or bog down the entire piece of writing because nothing sticks out. If I want to build tension of scare the reader, I'll start by writing passively and build up to only active sentences, or if something's boring or depressing, I'll use passive sentences to portray something dull and monotonous. I still follow my own advice (and ignore his) to this day.
46. How would you describe your style?(Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)
Hm, this is a hard one. I guess I would say my style aims for the reader to be able to visualize it exactly as I do in my head: I try to paint it as a picture or a movie, one that you can see every expression or twitch of the muscle, can feel the environment around you, or hear the swell or decrescendo of music as the scene moves on. So depending on what I'm writing, it changes between character, emotion, or action-driven.
57. Do you prefer editing as you write, or waiting until it’s finished? 
Usually, I wait until after I'm finished so I don't get distracted. However, with the recent big bang event, I was editing as I went, which cut it very close to posting time lol
74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?
This is also a bit of a hard one, but I think there's two things. The first is "lore"—I tend to over-explain, if you couldn't tell by my lengthy answers, so I'll always stick in some explanation for characters' reasonings and actions. This is also because I don't like characters being two-dimensional, so I want to give a history for the 'why'. Another would be symbolism. I like to have a deeper meaning and purpose for objects, actions, or dialogue, and for my longer works (like Monster Party was going to build to), have stuff that will make things click in the reader's brain. I'm also a slut for Chekov's gun, so I like to sprinkle that in there when I can, but that's almost solely for longer works, like mp or some original works
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thegingeralien · 3 years
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Thought I might share my “doing homework with adhd” tips in case the might help even just one person (because that would make me feel happy).
Who am I to be giving you advice? Good point! I am still terrible at studying and I’m 26 and at University for the millionth time. But I have studied A LOT in my 22 years of schooling with varying degrees of success.
I see a lot of people, especially teenagers or first year university/college students, with ADHD asking for tips on how to study. But if you do a google search most of the websites and advice that comes up can be extremely ableist. So I hope I can help someone!
TIPS TO HELP YOU STUDY WHEN YOU HAVE AN ADHD GREMLIN BRAIN!:
1. Chewing gum!
- This might come across as a weird one, but it has actually really helped me. I use it as a form of stimming to help keep me focused and concentrating. Other forms of stimming can potentially end up being more of a distraction when you actually need to be reading or writing - but they can help if you just need to be listening. Try not to get a bubble gum or fun flavoured one though - as they can end up making your mouth feel dry, lose flavour quickly, and just give your brain way too many sensory things to become distracted with.
2. Buying colour coded stationary!
- New stationary can make me really excited to start studying, but that excitement never lasts long and the act of buying stationary can sometimes become it’s own hobby. That’s not what we are going for here. I really recommend, especially if you are a visual learner like me, to buy colour coded stationary. This means removable page markers, different coloured post it notes, highlighters, sometimes even pens. This way if your mind jumps from one topic to the other, it doesn’t matter. Go with the flow. Forcing your ADHD gremlin brain to focus can be extremely counter intuitive. So pick a colour for each topic, and stick to that system to find organisation among your own chaos!
3. Buy a really cheap, boring year diary with hardly any writing inside.
- Not sure if your school/university has their own diary but they can be perfect for what I am on about. Generally you can find them for really cheap, soft cover, no writing or designs within the dates. Just dates, days, weeks and lines where you can write your homework. This helped me a lot in High School. I wish I had kept doing it in University, but I am good with giving advice, and not so much with taking it. I used to decorate the outside of it however I wanted. Some years I would redecorate the same diary every semester. In the public holidays or holiday days I would colour those lines in with different highlighters to make it look like a rainbow. But every assignment due date, homework, draft, rewrite, form I had to bring back, library book due date, school activity days, ANYTHING to do with school I would write in there with reminds and check lists. Important due dates would be highlighted, general homework and daily to do lists t(o help me not leave my assignments to the last minute) would have a tick box beside them (because ticking tick boxes is free dopamine). Try to not put birthdays or fun things in it. This is a small way to stay on track so it helps you actually stay on track with the big things when you’re home.
4. Big whiteboards stuck on the wall where you can’t avoid it.
- This is not something I had in school, but I so wish I did. I have been using this recently to keep on top of house work (as maintaining your own house is tiring) and my small business or other things I really can’t avoid. If I physically write it down (not just in my phone) it psychologically does help you commit it to memory. Again, physically putting a line through a task you just completed is a hecking great rush of dopamine. But the biggest reason I love my white board, I can’t ignore it. It is stuck to the wall and is never out of sight, out of mind. I can’t put my phone or diary down and then refuse to look at it until I’m past the due date. Again, I’m not a perfect person, there are days where I don’t do anything I have written on the white board. But the great thing is, I don’t have to continuously feel like I failure, as I can wipe it all off the next morning or week and start fresh. I also put important things I have to remember that I’m doing during the week so I don’t forget them.
5. Icky Medication.
- I know not everyone wants to be on medication, and I understand. I am not forcing you to. No matter what your opinions are, you lovely gremlin who is still reading this post, regarding medication, you are valid and I respect you. My personal experience with medication has not been the best. I have been misdiagnosed for a severe chunk of my academic life which has seen me trying to focus and maintain school work under some even worse states then I am unmedicated! However, since receiving my diagnosis and finding the right ADHD medication for me, I have the ability to get so much work done without having to unnecessarily struggle. It’s unfortunately not magic, it will not turn me into a robot that makes me do work and turn out incredible, noble peace prize winning assignments (as much as I wish that were possible). I still have the ability to be a lump, doom scrolling through tumblr, forgetting to eat, and ignoring responsibilities. But it really helps me when I sit down and start that thing that isn’t fun. Yesterday it helped me hyperfocus on cleaning my office which was a terrifying room to be in. So it’s pretty close to magic in my opinion!
6. Accessing Disability Support at your place of learning.
- Not all of you taking the time to read this will have either a) an offical diagnosis or b) a good disability support available to you wherever you are completing your studies. And that is okay. This dot point just won’t be for you right now. But keep it in mind for a time when it might apply to you, as it’s something I never thought I would need, but will never take for granted ever again.
- If you have an offical diagnosis and Disability Support, make an appointment with the disability support adviser. DO IT NOW! Get your psychiatrist to write a diagnosis letter outlining that you have <enter superpower that makes you hilarious here> and that you are receiving <enter x,y,z treatment here> and that you would benefit from receiving <enter what you have always wished you had on the days you can’t make your ADHD gremlin brain do the thing here>. Now these benefits can be, but not limit to: automatic extensions on ALL assignments, extra time on exams, extra breaks to walk around while taking exams, special consideration when marking assignments, my university allows me to take exams in a separate room with only the other students in my subject who also have disability support (occasionally I have taken an exam alone with only a tutor present) so I don’t get distracted, permission to take fidget items into class or exam (I have the option to wear headphones, as long as I can display that they are not connected to anything). Maybe you can come up with some great ones for you with your disability advisor or your psychiatrist.
- The disability advisor will often go through your course outline with you at the start of each semester or year. This is annoying and a great time for disassociating, but can be useful in hindsight because you are made aware of everything that will come up during your class so you are not surprised. Because lets be honest, it is unlikely you are going to look at the course calendar too often.
- Side Note: I make an appointment every semester with my disability support officer for my area of study to make sure I have my special considerations for the year. Now I may go through the whole year without ever using my considerations. However, the fact that I know they are there takes an insane amount of pressure off of myself. If I’m having an insanely screwy loony tune mental health moment, I can email my coordinator my disability plan and say I need an extension due to personal reasons, and WHOOP, there it izzzzz.
7. Dedicated one thing or a few things that have nothing to do with food/alcohol/other substances to reward yourself with for doing the thing!
- This may not work for everyone. It doesn’t always work for me. I used to reward myself with food, but that only reinforced my stimming with overeating and my already bad relationship with food. And I feel as though that would be the same with any other substance that can be linked with addiction. (Addiction is a tough word, cause what aren’t I addicted to, I have ADHD, but hopefully you get what I mean!).
-Now, boring try and not choose this aside, lets think of somethings that work really well as rewards!
- My partner likes to come give me a kiss and a hug when ever they have written and reread a paragraph, you might buy a book when you get a really good mark, you might want to go make a cup of tea and watch an episode of your hyperfixation after studying for <enter a good period of time here>, you might allow yourself to partake in an activity you usually do while procrastinating (but at least this time you know you aren’t putting something off), talk to someone who you know will tell you they are proud of you as they understand the mental struggle you go through to concentrate (if you can’t think of anyone, it is 110% okay if that person are the amazing people on tumblr or the adhd tumblr chats. We will freaking pop a bottle of champagne for you cause we get it!).
- Try and make what ever you choose be something in a different room or away from your working space. Getting out can really calm you down.
8. Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance.
- This is true for anything, but I don’t mean just asking your teacher to give you extra help understanding the task and marking rubric. Many people online, tutors, librarians at your school, past or present students offer assistance rereading and making small edits (they won’t make it magical unfortunately) to your assignments. If you are like me and once you have written or completed the dreaded thing, you can not imagine or force your gremlin brain reread or edit the thing. So it can help to just delegate this to someone else, who hasn’t read it before, so they won’t disassociate or skim read it. They will often notice things you never would have even if you were neurotypical as that is just what happens when you have been working on something for so long.
9. Repetitive music.
- It generally helps if this has no lyrics. Lo-fi is amazing. Classical is alright too if it works for you, but both my partner and I agree that it can really assist you to keep up pace and focus when the beat is a high and repetitive (almost meditative) tempo.
10. Limit your screen space.
- This is a tip completely from my partner @dr-adhd who also has ADHD, is an avid PC gamer and is consistently in a battle with their gremlin brain to focus on completing their PhD. They have discovered that it really helps them to limit their screen space - simply put, work on one screen only. They have done more work more easily when they have their one screen on their laptop to focus on. Whereas their office has multiple screens so they could be playing runescape, watching YouTube, listening to lo-fi and doing work - which never worked (shocking right hahaha).
11. At the risk of sounding like a Mum... Put your phone and other electronics other than the assignment necessary one, away.
- I am a Mum, but to a fluffy puppy dog, so I hate to sound like my Mum when I was in high school, but she was right. Mobiles are the single easiest and biggest distraction in ADHD history. I often, even at coffee shops, have to turn my phone over so that I am not consistently looking at it every time the screen lights up to say the pizza place has sent me a coupon, or a carpet place that has been having a sale since I was born is... still having a sale, or a friend from school wants you to watch this TikTok. Even though you might not want to ignore your friends, because people pleasing, difficulting making/keeping friends and RSD are hecking real things, but they can all wait. Trust me, none of them are urgent. That TikTok will still be funny in an hour or two. And I’m probably completely right when I say that whomever just messaged you, never replies as quickly as you want them too. So I doubt they are going to think twice if you are MIA to finish your thing.
My partner or I might add to this later, but at the moment I already know that I probably wouldn’t read this wall of words if I was the one reading it, so if you are still with me, THANK YOU and I really hope I might have helped you. Sorry for the mound of words, but maybe you can reblog, screen shot, or save this and read a dot point at a time or refer to it when you need. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, I promise what ever it is, I’ve asked the same thing once in my life or something MUCH stupider.
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shanastoryteller · 3 years
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Questions about outlines: How detailed are they? Are they the same level of detail or do they vary? How do you make your outlines? Chronologically scene by scene? Or do you come up with the scenes that call you and then come up with smaller filler scenes to fill in the gaps? Do you have outlines for each chapter? Or just for the larger general plot points? Do you try to complete the outlying before starting the fic? Or do you add to the outline as you go? Sorry if this is to many at once
lmao okay i got several asks about outlines but i’m just going to answer this one because it’s ~comprehensive~
every writing teacher i’ve ever had has hated my outlines. my friends find them incomprehensible.
if people are going to look at my answers as ways to do their own outlines, i have to say: that’s probably not a good idea
i don’t write outlines a majority of the time
i don’t write outlines to plan a story i’ve already decided to write
i write outlines primarily as a way to exorcise story ideas that i want to write but don’t want to actually commit to writing (answer prompts are another way i do this lol)
now, some things do get outlines as a way to plan and organize. survival is a talent has an outline because it’s 400k and spans six years. child king had an outline. needy’s body had an outline. 
b u t
i’m currently writing rotten work without an outline
lynchpin didn’t have an outline
hope is the thing with feathers didn’t have an outline
never grow a wishbone only had an outline for the first couple of chapters 
an invincible summer didn’t get an outline until like. chapter 4 of 6. 
i just. uh. think about what i want to happen and then hope i remember to write it down. even when i do an outline, i’ll deviate from it wildly, and not update it to reflect that, because i know what i’m doing (ha!)
so! with that in mind, let’s go! 
How detailed are they? Are they the same level of detail or do they vary?
they vary! but honestly - not very. sometimes i’ll write out a paragraph or bits of dialogue that are important to me, but most of the time it’s just broad strokes of what i want to happen, or a mechanism of how something complicated happens. like i have several paragraphs in my siat outline dealing with necromancy books, but like. two sentences on how they actually occur in the story because that’s just something i’m trusting myself to figure out when i sit down to write it.  
 How do you make your outlines? Chronologically scene by scene? Or do you come up with the scenes that call you and then come up with smaller filler scenes to fill in the gaps? 
I try to put them chronologically, although sometimes that’s a little hard (in siat i have several scenes that i know will happen, i just don’t know when). that is something i will go back and edit on my outlines, is if i’ve changed the order the something happens i’ll go back and copy and paste until my outlines is in the right order. but only if the outlines is something i’m actually using to write and the story is longer than a couple of chapters. 
because my outlines are so very not detailed, i just write down what it is that i want to write, like the reason i’m going to write this or want to write this, and figure out the rest later. i’ll fill it in later - or i won’t! because most of the time i don’t use my outline to actually write the story, and i use it more as an idea list, so if i don’t know what happens between scenes or i find it boring i just won’t write it down
like, for example, here is my “outline” for won’t even plant a garden in it’s entirety 
weep as a woman
“you weep as a woman weeps.” “and how is that?” “as if the future rests on your hips, and you must walk it forward.”
crowley and eve were friends. cain killed abel with the flaming sword, and crowley begged them to say it was with a rock instead
crowley was raphael the painter and fucked michelangelo
crowley was there the night yeshua was born, was friends with mary, helped raise yeshua?
ghosts
crowley and anathema and joan of arc
i ended up dropping most of this and crowley ended up sleeping with both eve and yeshua as the major plot points. i don’t explain stuff, really. i know what i mean so i just don’t bother to get very detailed most of the time. 
Do you have outlines for each chapter? Or just for the larger general plot points?
siat i divide up by year, and i think i did it by chapter for the last two chapters of build your wings on the way down, but otherwise it’s just one long list. i do my chapters based on words counts rather than content, so outlining by chapter doesn’t really make sense for me (siat is always around 15k a chapter, and everything else  i do these days thats multi chapter is around 8k because that’s the best, but ngawb was 5k a chapter and i think for child king it was around 11k a chapter)
Do you try to complete the outlying before starting the fic? Or do you add to the outline as you go?
I’m constantly adding as a i go! my outlines are never really “complete” they’re just abandoned. i write down what i think will help me and tend to ignore the rest. sometimes i just. talking to myself in my outlines when i’m trying to think something through. 
my outline for child king is under the cut because that’s one that’s a good mix of stuff i kept and stuff i threw out. DON’T JUDGE ME!! bad ideas don’t get written because they’re bad!! it’s part of the ~process~ 
child king
Summary: “A child king is still a king,” Deaton says softly. “A child king is still a child,” he snaps, but he knows this is an argument he’s already lost.  – Stiles is a born alpha, and after the Hale fire, things get real complicated, real fast.
Stiles’s mom is the last remaining human from a pack that was destroyed by hunters. John is the one that helps her after, so he knows everything. When they move to beacon hills she doesn’t feel the need to say anything to the hale pack, because as far as they’re concerned she’s just a human, and she doesn’t want to get involved in pack business. But then stiles is born with red eyes. The doctor is quiet and scared john and Claudia freak out, but it’s because he’s a werewolf, which is a relief to parents because they thought something was wrong with their kid. Maybe they don’t know he’s an alpha, only that he’s a wolf? Or they know and they keep it a secret on purpose
Claudia is the one to approach mrs. Hale. She tells her that her son is a born werewolf, but that she’s not interested in joining their pack. Her husband is a new deputy and they just bought a house but they’ll move if they have to. “he’ll need a pack one day. It’s safer,” she says. “if he wants to join you one day, I won’t stop him. But that’s not a choice I’m willing to make for him.” Mrs hale agrees that they can say separate as in exchange for the sheriff smoothing over some ruffled feathers no and again. They agree. Claudia to sheriff “we’re going to have to move one day. Our son is an alpha, and he’ll need to make his own pack.”
Stiles is seven the first time he snarls at his mom, eyes flashing red, and she freezes. She’s got the pack instinct, it doesn’t matter that hes her kid, hes still her alpha, so its hella awkward. John can see how this will quickly spiral out of control if they can discipline their own kid. But stiles is the one to back down first, apologizing and doing as he’s told. There are careful power structures here, and this is the beginning of differentiating between stiles the human and stiles the wolf.
When his mom gets sick, stiles offers to turn her. Hale offers to turn her. She refused for Reasons that I have to figure out. Maybe the politics of it? Wanting to protect stiles and not wanting to become part of the hale pack
The fire happens. John ships stiles the hell out of dodge, because there are hunters about. He snoops around enough to figure out it was kate argent, but theres not really anything he can do about it
Scott knows about everything, and tries to tell his mom in a really akward way that they should trust stiles if they’re ever in danger, but she just laughs it off. Except when someone breaks in and threatens her with a gun, and she manages to make a phone call, it’s not 911, not john, but stiles, and she doesn’t even know why, regrets it as soon as it happens. But then stiles shows up and breaks both of the guys, eyes glowing red, and then calls his dad and scott to take care of it, because they’re humans, so they get human punishments. Melissa is told everything.
Scott has a bad asthma attack and, and Melissa asks about the bite. Scott is itching for it. He wants it so badly. Stiles has already promised to turn them when they turn 18, and Melissa knows that. She asks if theres a reason to wait, and the answer is nah, not really. So he gets the bite. Stiles being like uh psa punishments cant include scott staying away
After hale fire and stiles gets back, he’s shocked that hey just left, and that they left peter behind. He starts visiting peter several times a week. He tells his dad that they should pay for his medical care. They have a fuckton of money because his mom inherited all the pack wealth, and john doesn’t touch it because that’s stiles’s money, that’s werewolf money. But this is a werewolf thing, so he agrees. “his pack left him dad.”
Stiles bites Erica when they’re 14. Some point in middle school stiles wises up to the Isaac thing and tells his dad he needs to arrest his dad, or stiles is going to kill him, and he’s not even a little bit joking. Stiles hears Isaac crying while going by the house? In johns squad car. Makes them pull over, then bursts into the house. John goes with it because his son’s eyes are red.
Some point after the hales leave, things start trying to move into hale territory. Some wolves? Stiles smells them, and ends up at 10 years old telling them to fuck off. This how scott finds out? He’s with scott and his dad. Deaton is facing off against something? Panics when stiles intervenes, but stiles goes wolfy and red eyes and is like. This is mine now fuck off. Looks at the hale house, and finally says, we have to take care of this. We have to. But they don’t own the house or the land or any of it. They do … something
Stiles ends up having to deal with a lot of crap real young
Stiles has scott and Isaac when peter wakes up. Stiles is there, and peter isn’t crazy because he wasn’t abandoned to die alone. Stiles says he can stay, or he can go, not trying to pressure anything. Peter chooses to become part of stiles’s pack, because his family is either dead or abandoned him. Peter ends up moving in with them as he finishes healing and to get used to being in a pack and with stiles. It’s very strange for john, but it’s a werewolf thing and he’s trying to be supportive. After a couple months, stiles tells his dad that having peter is a relief, that there’s finally someone who knows things, someone older who can support him as a werewolf. Peter acts as his second, and he finally has some degree of authority that age has lost him. Stiles has peter take care of the hale house. Peter and stiles have the conversation, where peter is like the hale land is your land now. You’re the alpha of beacon hills. He does what stiles directs him to.
Isaac is living with scott under stiles’s direction ish. But lots of Melissa. Isaac like I don’t wantto be afraid anymore, I don’t want to hurt anymore, and stiles is like. Okay. We’ll fix this. But he doesn’t bite Isaac until he goes to a shitton of therapy and has mostly sorted himself out. For isaac’s fifteenth birthday, he bites him.
Erica is spur of the moment, it’s something that all instinct and very little thought. OR they’re dating and it happesn? Erica’s parents suck. Stiles doesn’t want the balancing act of being boyfriend and alpha.
Jackson is so fucking desperate to belong to something. He nags and nags and nags and finally stiles bites him at least half to shut him up.
“dad can I talk to you about something weird and uncomfortable and a little creepy” talks about crush on Lydia, and how he’s not sure if its because he has a crush on her or if it’s bc he thinks she’ll be good for the pack. Lydia joins before Jackson, and she’s the one that pushes stiles into it. Lydia and stiles are not dating, but she’s clearly high in the hiarchey.
Boyd? Just like. Shows up. Idk.
So by the time laura and derek show up, stiles’s pack is: john, Melissa, peter, Lydia, Jackson, danny, Isaac, boyd, Erica, deaton (who’s acting as emissary but is training danny). Maybe bring in some later characters, like malia and kira and cora. Ooooh maybe the twins show up before they became alphas, still run aways and looking for something else? Stiles takes them on. Stiles finds malia early on after the fire
Peter is willing to forgive derek but he has a lot of shit with laura. Stiles agrees to let laura and derek stay and not be part of his pack, although laura insists she doesn’t need his permission. She snaps at peter to come home with them, and he looks at her like she’s insane. He says there’s no hale pack, and if there was, he’s not interested. He’s a stillinkski wolf now. Cora too maybe? Double blow. Peter owns the hale land, and he makes it clear the day stiles turns 18 he’ll be signing it over to him. Stiles is known by the surrounding packs.
Stiles has to somehow defend the surrounding area, has to make it clear he’s his and that he’s not willing to give it up. It’s valuable land. People are going to come looking for it once people figure out it’s abandoned. When deaton finds out stiles is an alpha, he goes around as an emissary to the surrounding packs. Saying that its under stiles now. He’s known to them so it goes mostly uncontested. This is when he and the sheriff have the child king conversation.
Stiles tries really, really hard to be a good alpha. That means controlling the territory, and working with other packs when members go rouge or something goes wrong. He’s thirteen the first time he goes to lend a hand in a fight, and it’s young, it’s too young, but he’s an alpha. He has to do this, to maintain the peace. And the thing is – stiles is good at this, good at not pushing, at not using his status as a crutch or an excuse, instead as a tool.
Maybe this is why no one cares for laura’s excuses. As much as laura wasn’t ready to take on the responsibility, she was an adult, if only barely. Stiles is a literal child, and in her absence shouldered it all. So even if she does technically have a claim, none of them are willing to honor it. “if you kill alpha stiles, you won’t have allies, you’ll have enemies.”
Allison and argents. Stiles brings his pack to kill kate. Gives peter the chance to do it himself, and is so very proud when he says no. but instead of letting her go free, stiles crushes her throat. “revenge would have been trapping you all in here and setting the whole thing on fire. Justice would have been making you watch as she burned alive. This was mercy, and don’t you forget it.” Scott is hella in love with Allison, but he knows this comes first. Her mom is full of hatred, but stiles more than makes it clear that he has no problem with killing her too.
Stiles sees derek soon after. They’ve already gone back and forth a lot. But he and laura weren’t there. Stiles tells him what he did. They have a ~moment~
Derek wants so very much to join stiles’s pack, but he doesn’t want to lose laura.
Something finally convinces laura to take the plunge and the stillinksi pack is one happy family
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starshipsofstarlord · 3 years
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Omg thank you so much for writing my request for tom :) Can I ask for a part two where you try not to read the comments, but end up doing so, and most are good, so it's fine. Until you post a picture of you on your account, and tom's fans start calling you names, and tom's so tired of all that happening that he posts on his account a whole paragraph about how his personal life it's no one's business?
Posted
This is part two, find the first part here
Summary | previously Tom had accidentally posted a picture of the two of you, exposing your relationship. And so, you decide to purposely do the same on your Instagram, though the response is much different than what his post had received.
Warnings | hate comments, some angst, swear and demeaning words
Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬
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Tom was asleep beside you, his head tucked into the crook of your neck, you were able to feel his gentle, slumbering breathing against your skin, and it caused goose bumps to prickle upon the outer layer of your flesh.
The two of you had vastly fallen asleep upon the couch, and your phone was on the coffee table, and to say that you were itchy to reach for it was an understatement. There would be comments on the picture that Tom accidentally put online, and you were hungry to see them, whilst simultaneously nervous.
Tom was a big actor, known for his presence in the marvel cinematic universe upon many other projects, and some of his fans, whilst proven during Comic-Con panels, were borderline crazy. They’d snap if they even so much as saw something that they didn’t like, and this time, you would be on the receiving end of it.
Being motionlessly captured, with your face on show, was certain to bring much attention. You too were within the acting department, but there had been no correlation between the pair of you until now, most of the world weren’t even aware that you knew each other. And not to mention, your span of reaching an audience was smaller, although, certainly not non existent.
You had reprised fame during your appearance on Modern Family, as the friendly neighbour of Phil and Claire, and a classmate of their eldest daughter, and not to mention Luke was crushing hard on the character you played, though, with that said, your character laughed his efforts off due to the age difference, yet still found his pining weird and often uncomfortable.
Another role that you were becoming known for was your character in Netflix’s Irregulars, where you met Harrison Osterfield, Tom’s best friend. Through filming the show, you were introduced to the Spider-Man actor, and the pair of you had hit it off almost instantly, if you didn’t include Tom keeping his amorous distance, wary just in case there was something going on between you and your mutual friend. To his relief, there wasn’t.
And thus, when he received that confirmation, he was far more forward, yet respectful at the same time with his intentions. That was how you had ended up here, as he half used you as a pillow, his arms wrapped around his ribs, and his soft peaceful snores filling the void in the air.
Stretching your arm at its furthest length, your fingertips wrestled with the side of your phone, padding it closer to yourself, so that you could slide it across the small living room table, and closer to yourself. You were victorious in your efforts, and so on you unlocked your screen, going to your camera app, and leaning sideways so that you could snap a few pictures of your predicament with your loving and sweet boyfriend.
Looking at the images that you had captured, a smile arose upon your face; you truly did love this man, and you wanted the whole world to know how much you adored him. You wanted them to see that you cared about him, and that he was in good hands with you, to cool off any of his fans that were processing their hurt feelings for seeing Tom with another woman, show him that he was getting the love that he deserved.
Extreme courage coursed through your veins, focusing within your fingertips as you opened insta, gulping as you readied to post the image. There was no editing required, it was perfect just like him. And so, the caption was something to think about, you didn’t want to make it too obvious that you were dating as the online community already assumed, the priority was to show them that you cared about him.
‘He’s taking a nap, and crushing my hip a little, but I don’t mind 😌’ you typed, your finger hovering over the post button as you chewed your lip. It was easy to press your digit down, and so, taking a breath, you did just that, encouraged by the previous and kind comments on Tom’s earlier post.
Within a matter of minutes, your phone was blowing up, and you were too tempted not to glance at the growing comment section. There were various accounts, some supporting your confidence to show such a domestic version of yourself with Tom, you assumed that they were your followers, and the ones that weren’t so light hearted were those that intently watched anything on the media that involved Tom.
‘He’s too good looking for her, she should be dating someone within her league. Tom is clearly taking pity on this hoe.’
‘Aw look at him, and ew, look at the state of her. He could do sm better 😔’
‘Why doesn’t she look like his exes, they were hot af, and now he’s with some rando that is after his fame and money. Maybe she should just take better roles if she wants to get noticed so bad.’
Your eyes kept reeling through the intentionally hateful words that continued to come through beneath the image. Tears began to fall from your eyes as you tried to stifle the movements and the sound of your gentle sobbing, as to not wake Tom. Quickly, your fingers raced through the social media, and you, knowing that there would still be presence of the image somewhere online, you deleted it, muting notifications and shuffled back into Tom.
The man stirred, tugging you closer by your waist, pressing a kiss to your locks as he awoke. He noticed however the way that you refused to face him, and so he rolled you over with a gentle grip on your shoulder, frowning when he saw the recognisable redness beneath your eyes, and the sad expression floating within your eyes.
“Princess, what’s going on?” He wiped his thumb beneath your bottom lashes, collecting your tears as he worriedly looked down at you. His brown eyes searched every inch of your face for an idea, but found nothing but your broken hearted expression.
“It’s nothing Tommy.” You tried and failed to convince the man, wincing half heartedly as he sat back on his thighs, gripping your hips so that he could pull you up with him, giving him a clearer view of your face. It was clear that he did not believe you, and he hummed, trying to make you give in. Eventually, after much concerned staring, you gave in, slumping your shoulders as you tucked your arms around the back of his neck. “I posted a picture of us, the response wasn’t great.”
Instantly, Tom’s brows uplifted, surprised by your action, though he had a strong inkling of a feeling that the reaction that you had earned was not complimentary. These were not tears of joy, instead they were stricken rivers of anguish and insecurity running down the length of your face.
“Let me see.” He spoke, softly to you, but his intents towards defending you strong. You shook your head lightly, tracing circles upon his knees as you gulped, flickering your guilty gaze up to his watchful eyes.
“I deleted it. I just couldn’t deal with knowing that the longer that it was up, the more hate would be directed at me. I’m sorry.” Tom grasped your face by your tense jaw, his fingers stroking your chin as he sadly stared at you.
“Never be sorry. Now send me the picture you used so that I can give everyone a piece of my mind.” Reaching for your phone, you sent the image to him, and in a second his device pinged, revealing that it had successfully sent to him.
“Cute.” He described the picture, his hands furiously typing away on his phone, his constant unsettling of his rabidly moving fingers drawing anxiousness from you. “And some.” Tom finally breathed, closing his phone as you went to his account, checking what he had posted publicly.
‘This may concern some people, who keep sticking their noses in where it does not involve them. I appreciate you all, the support, the love, everything. But one thing that I do not stand for is people coming at my girlfriend just because they don’t approve of our relationship. If you check mate, I never asked for your opinion, I love y/n, and some online hate, that needs to stop otherwise you are not someone I want to be calling themselves a fan of me, needs to stop. It makes no one happy or feel healthy with spreading such toxicity around the internet, if you don’t like something, then keep your blood mouths shut, this has nothing to do with you, it is just me and my girlfriend. I’d think you’d want me to be happy, because I want the same for all of you, so can people please give my partner some respect, she’s done nothing wrong but bravely chose to reach out to you all, and she had that spat back in her face. It’s not on, and I want this to stop now.’
“Tom...” you were shocked by the paragraph, it came across as aggressive, and very over protective. His action, that could affect how he was cried by people that put him on a pedestal, and that made you feel guilty that he had reached out to them in such a way.
“It’s okay baby, I’d do anything for you, and you know that. No one messes with my girl.” He put his arm around your shoulders as he pulled you close placing a kiss upon your forehead. Not only was he your boyfriend, but he was your protector, your knight on a shining cell phone.
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vividly-creative · 3 years
Text
What I learned participating in Camp NaNoWriMo 2021
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I always had heard of Camp NaNoWriMo, but never thought I would participate in it. It was not like I wasn't interested, I just thought it was kind of crazy. 50k words in  just 30 days? What?
However, on April fools, ironically, I decided to start writing, without any kind of preparation or research done. I had an idea and I just started writing. and honestly, April was such a roller-coaster.
I went from being excited and proud of my work to feeling like garbage.
I didn't made my goal of 30k words spoiler alert, but I did manage to get to 26k.
And even though I didn't get to win NaNo, or any of the big discounts they give to those who achieve their word count goal, I learned so much about me and my writing. Cue the List:
A blank page does not have to be scary.
Blank pages were nerve-raking, they still kind of are, but not to the extent that they stop me from writing.
Sometimes, we put a lot of pressure in ourselves to create. It always have to be great and a master piece and I wish it was that way. It would've make the whole being an artist thing a lot easier.
But a blank page is similar to the half full / half empty glass metaphor. A blank canvas can be an opportunity to create a work that you are really proud of or a work that teached you something new.
It's all about perspective, I had to learned to drop the "I'm filling this page with pure unusable garbage today" mentality.
No writing session is a waste of time.
I, a writer, can, indeed, write.
Tbh, I never considered myself a writer before NaNo, even though I've been writing since I was a child.
I always felt like I needed to hit certain milestones to become a writer. I have to finish a manuscript and it HAS to be great. I have to be a published author, I have to write every day. I need to keep a sophisticated journal. I need to read 100 books every year and have an active and interesting blog, etc.
Well, I published a few articles here and there, I did keep various journals, I did blog and read like a mad woman but none of that was ever good enough.
I didn't even finished that Wattpad story I started writing at 13 for crying out loud!
If you write, you are a writer! You won't start being a great writer, of course, no one does! And no one gets their first written words published and critically acclaimed!
But it's important to keep going and have fun with what you love doing. That's the goal with everything: have fun with it.
Give yourself a chance to write badly at first and grow from there or forever wonder what you could've written.
There's no need to wait for inspiration.
If NaNo taught me one thing is that to write you only need to have a full stomach and 32 oz  water bottle.  Sit your ass down and write. In your laptop, tablet, phone, notebook in a napkin, whatever works best for you.
If you are stuck on a chapter, a scene, etc. try approaching it from a different character point of view, or work on the dialogue or the scene's background. In the worst case scenario, skip it and come back to it later.
There are no rules on how to finish a book!
WRITING IT IS THE FIRST STEP! DO. NOT. JUDGE. YOUR. WRITING. WITHOUT. EDITING.
When I started writing, I used to read what I wrote immediately after finishing it and felt incredibly discouraged.  
Why does my first draft - that I wrote in half an hour - does not sound like one of Neil Gaiman excerpts?
Taking the time to write your first draft takes a lot of courage! Give yourself some credit! Even if you think your writing is bad, if it's already written, half of the work - of the first step - is done. Now it can only get better from now on!
No writing session is in vain.
Sometimes I will sit down and write and it's going to suck. 2 hours of work straight to the recycle bin, but is not all waste.
Recognizing that a paragraph, scene or an entire chapter does not work is a sign that you are aware of your writing and where you want it to go.
Every writing session is good practice, discarding shows growth and growth will come with a better written draft.
And finally, writing can be fun!
You're never going to finish your book if you drag your feet every time you have to sit down to write. Sure, some days are harder than others, but in general it should be fun.
At first I had a lot of trouble with this because I asked myself constantly "What do people want to read?" "What are the current trends?" "What are publishers looking for?"
These are important questions, but you can always add the elements you need when you finish a book you would love to read!
Write what you want to write! Write a book about something you are passionate about! Make yourself excited to wake up and write everyday!
Check out my NaNo Diaries.
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tommybaholland · 3 years
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Hiya! I was wondering if I could request a one-shot with Sugawara where the reader is his best friend and secretly loves him but he doesn’t know? Then maybe another person catches his attention and the reader starts to distance themselves from Suga to try to spare themselves the hurt? Then maybe turns out the other person was just using Suga/wasn’t serious bout him and he realizes that the person he really loves is the reader but now they’re staying away from him and just angst and fluff and dramatic confessions?? Sorry if it’s far too much detail, I get carried away. Your writing is amazing, keep up the fantastic work!
somebody, some body
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featuring: sugawara 
goddddd i’m so sorry i am late with a post AGAIN. this has been way overdue to be posted actually, and last night i finished it and was almost done with editing but accidentally lost everything i added and edited in the draft :// so thank you for being patient with me! this ended up being pretty long, so hopefully that makes up for the wait :) anyway, i really liked this idea! i have a little personal experience with this kind of situation, so it was fun to explore those feelings a bit. thanks for requesting and enjoy!
you didn’t always know that you would be in love with koshi sugawara. your dynamic was always friendly, and nothing more. so where did you go wrong?
when you think back to your history with suga, you could never find yourself resenting any time you spent with him. it all started when you moved into his neighborhood and as a shy child, you didn’t have the easiest time making friends. but he was a kind boy who was around your age and made it easy for you to form a bond with him. after all those years, neither one of you had changed that much. you were still reserved at heart but, he was the one who pushed you to things that you both could enjoy. 
one is joining the high school volleyball club together. you weren’t usually one to go outside of your comfort zone, but with him, you felt like you could do anything. he had you fuel your enthusiasm and you had him to thank for that. volleyball ended up being a great idea because it was quite a versatile sport that anyone could play. you found that you were quite athletic and took a liking to the libero position. there was just something exciting about digging a ball off the ground and rolling on the floor to get back up again. also, it looked pretty cool. 
so that was great until you hurt your shoulder during a game, which ended up being more severe than it seemed. now you couldn’t lift your left arm very far over your head unless you wanted to dislocate your shoulder again. it was already a tough recovery period because all you wanted to do was get back to the game. 
he was there with you for the entirety of it and even though he mostly encouraged you, he had to make sure you knew you wouldn’t do anything to hurt yourself. you felt helpless. it was the lowest he had ever seen you and he did everything he could to lift you back up again.
that was something you could never take for granted with him. 
the thing about you and suga is that you were in constant contact, especially during school. if it wasn’t sending each other funny memes or tiktoks, you were either on snapchat with each other or texting. sometimes simultaneously. 
are you alive?? 
yeah i’m awake, unfortunately
what do u want sugar-wara 
whoa how are you up this early lol and sugar is my thing ok
let’s go get sweet buns before class
ur right, it is ur thing. ur sugar-wara
okay i’ll meet you by the light in 15 
there was a lonely intersection in your neighborhood with a red stoplight that seems to have malfunctioned and now the light never stops blinking. you and suga lived on the same street, with the intersection being a perfect place to literally meet in the middle. 
“hey, sugar-- uh oh. someone doesn’t look so sweet today!”
he was always so peppy in the mornings. 
“yeah, well, maybe if someone didn’t wake me up with their annoying texts..”
“if you really don’t want to be woken up, you’d put your phone on do not disturb. you can thank me later for being your alarm clock.” 
he gave you a bright smile and a few head pats before you set off down the road to your favorite bakery which happened to be on the way to school. you didn’t go every morning, but most days it was necessary for you to start your day off right. 
“how’s the team looking this year, mr. vice captain?”
“pretty good, actually! four first years joined the team and one of them’s over six feet tall. our blocks will be unstoppable!”
 there were several things you loved about suga but, if there was one thing you enjoyed most, it was hearing him get psyched about volleyball. even though you couldn’t play anymore, his undying enthusiasm for the sport made you feel like you were living through him vicariously. 
“and there’s one who’s on the shorter side, only a little taller than noya. but he seems to have so much energy and drive, it’s just-- i don’t know, i have a feeling we could actually make it to nationals this year.” 
“wow, that’s great!” 
“you should come to practice and see them! also we just got asahi back so i need to make sure my sets really land.” 
“kou, you know i love watching you guys but isn’t that what kiyoko’s there for?”
“well, yeah, but you know how i play best!”
“yeah, sure. it’s not like i have anything better to do.” 
“you never let me down!” 
 his smile never let you down. 
it was your senior year of high school and it felt like things were going to be nothing but great.
“so...speaking of you knowing me best,” he started rather hesitantly.
“what would you do if i...made you dinner?”
“i...what?”
“oh, uh, oh, no. not, like, i make you dinner but, like...rei finally agreed to come around tonight and i thought i’d make something for them.”
“oh, um,” you tried to force a smile. “yeah, i think they’d like that.”
“yeah? you don’t think it’s too cheesy or anything? we haven’t hung out very much but i’d thought it would be a nice way to show them that i mean what i feel, you know?”
“yeah, yeah! that sounds perfect, kou..”
if only they knew that they were so lucky. 
you knew about this person, rei. they were your teammate and even a friend at one time. they transferred to karasuno during your second year and you bonded over your shared interest of the libero position. they didn’t get to play much that season until you got injured and had to quit playing. 
to see them fill that position so easily, it made you feel so type of way. a way that suga couldn’t know because even though he was there for you, he couldn’t deny his feelings. you remember when he told you that he liked them. about how he’s liked them ever since they came to karasuno and about how he was nervous to talk to them. 
and guess what?
you encouraged him. you encouraged him to try to pursue someone who you knew and liked, so now you had to hide that you were envious of both their position on the team AND the fact that your best friend is in love with them. 
at first, you tried to look at it as a positive point. you were still friendly with them, but volleyball was the only thing that connected you so you didn’t talk to them that much anymore. but now that suga, the person you’re closest to, was talking to them, it opened up the possibility that you would be able to reconnect with them. you had to be supportive. you were his friend, his closest friend, after all. 
-
the next morning you didn’t wake up from a text from suga. no, it took several snooze buttons to wake you up, which already put you in a bad mood. 
it’s ur turn now. are u alive??
i actually woke up to my alarms, how weird. u must be dead lol 
also have you done the english assignment yet? i need serious help >_<
you weren’t afraid to double, triple, even quadruple text him because more often than not, he did that to you. sometimes he’d even send longish paragraphs as he did later that day when classes had already started. 
hey sorry today has just been filled with fun and thriving and good stuff! rei asked me if i wanted to meet up with them before school last night and they made me some sweet buns and they were soooo good. i think we’re going to eat lunch together with some of their friends from vbc. ugh english sucks for me too. idk why you think i’m good at it
you almost jumped at the gesture to reply. it was never this long that he would go without text you at least one dumb thing. 
haha it’s okay don’t be sorry! so i guess last night went well?
also ur great at english sugar-wara what r u talking about??
it surprised you how quickly they seemed to become so friendly. it was kinda weird that he would already be spending a lot of time with her and now meeting all her friends. he probably already knew of them though, with volleyball and everything. the thoughts of how long you would have to wait for a reply crept in your mind, but that was quickly erased by an elapsed period of only a few minutes. 
yeah it went great! they had never had someone cook for them before, so they really liked it. this morning they told me they’d show me how to make fried eggs bc i said i dont know how to use a stove lol 
wait you made a whole meal for this person and u don’t know how to use the stove??
i used a crockpot and microwave ok :// don’t make fun of me dingus 
well a stove would definitely broaden ur horizons lmao that’s nice it went well though 
thank you i hope its going well 
that conversation was truly the end of the beginning. 
Every day after that seemed to happen the same way. you’d wake up, no text from suga. he hadn’t even replied to what you last said the previous night. you didn’t see him much either, but you knew who he was with probably. you would still stop by at volleyball practice where you did get to see him but they were there also. so you found yourself dipping out a lot more. 
it just felt weird. seeing him talk to someone he didn’t even know before. they didn’t even know him. even when you two were on the team together, they never once showed much interest in him and now it just seemed strange that they would. 
the transition was particularly difficult for you, as much as you didn’t want to admit it. one night you were so overwhelmed with work because you had waited too long to do it. frantically texting suga was an understatement. 
you knew you couldn’t put all your reliance on him but it was weird that he wasn’t replying on a school night as he was just as much a procrastinator as you. you dragged yourself through the night, trying to put together a somewhat coherent speech for english the next day. which, again, started as it had for the past few weeks. you still hadn’t heard from him, but it doesn’t even matter anymore. by the time he replied, it was almost embarrassing on your part. 
oh my god y/n i’m so sorry i didn’t reply sooner. i tried to get all my work done early so i could hang out with rei last night and i was asking my mom for advice and she told me to just pay attention to them as much as possible so i just wanted to be with them, you know? but i really hope you didn’t beat yourself up too much about it and that you got at least a little sleep. i’m sure your speech went well :) 
you sounded desperate for his help and meanwhile, he’s genuinely trying to show someone how much they mean to him. could you look any more stupid? 
you didn’t even want to reply but you felt like you had to. 
no don’t be sorry koshi! if anything i’m sorry i was just super frustrated in the moment and didn’t know what to do. i managed to pull something halfway decent together i think so it’s all okay now 
was it okay though? 
that was when you realized that things would never be the same. you’re his best friend and that’s simply it. you mean something to him, but not the same something that they mean to him. you couldn’t go to him when you help because then you’d be taking his time away from someone who wanted to feel that special meaning. it was a hard pill to swallow, for sure. but there were still several questions that lingered in the potential of what your relationship could be.
isn’t it possible to be both a best friend and a partner at the same time? you didn’t see any problem with it, so why couldn’t it be true? 
-
two weeks past and suga, your best friend, decided to let you in on some news. 
going up against all these powerhouse schools is definitely tough but it’ll help our team in the long run. we’re really amped to play seijoh soon but also i have an s/o now who can come and cheer us on 
WAIT you guys made it official?? when?
haha we’ve been official for like two weeks now 
oh well that’s great! 
(what the actual hell.)
months went by and you saw suga maybe two or three times. and only saw him, usually with the rest of the volleyball team or with rei and their friends. you texted now and then but it wasn’t the same. you had to accept that it wouldn’t be the same, so you did. you had a good group of friends who you spent more of your time with, as well as trying to focus as much as possible on school. entrance exams were coming up and you couldn’t let this be your downfall, even though you and suga had previously talked about possibly going to the same college together. but that wasn’t important anymore. 
you had your priorities and suga had his. 
which was the biggest reason why you decided not to go to the game against aoba johsai. you told him that you would try to make it, if schoolwork and college prep courses would lend you the chance. you were just trying to focus on yourself and work hard in on your own. you still texted him just to show that you still cared. 
sorry i couldn’t make it to the game! how did it go?
we lost :’(( we were so close too 
oh no :( i’m sorry kou. but i know you guys will get them next time!
he never replied, which only made you want to grow further from him. 
summer vacation rolled around and it was about a month out from suga’s birthday. a strange text appeared from someone you didn’t expect. 
Hey so I wanted to get manga for suga for his bday but I cannot for the life of me remember which ones he has so can you try to casually ask him which ones he has? like the next time you guys talk about manga or something?
you felt weird that they were asking for your help, considering that they now spent more time with him than you did. but you weren’t going to completely ignore them either.
to be honest we haven’t talked a whole lot lately but i’ll try to subtly ask him 
Okay awesome thanks!
what were you thinking of getting him?
Deathnote lol nothing original
hmm maybe the new aot volume? 
Yeah, that’s a good one. Or maybe BNHA
yeah that too! do you still want me to ask him? 
Yeah could you? 
yeah sure!
Yay thanks! 
okay i’ll let you know what i find out
going through with this was even worse. if it were you, you’d take him to see his favorite artist in concert. he wasn’t never much of a concert guy but he would talk about how badly he wanted to go see them live. or a more lowkey and personal option would be to customize a crewneck for him. you had a knack for designing and decorating plain-looking clothes and he would try to do it himself but would always remark how much better yours always turned out. 
but this time you’re simply the messenger and wouldn’t get that chance to get him something you know he’d love. not that he wouldn’t like manga, but it just seemed like they weren’t putting a ton of thought into it. maybe you couldn’t blame them though, it had only been a few months that they had been dating. 
that conversation honestly seemed more out-of-the-blue than anything, but you were hoping that suga would be as oblivious as ever. it didn’t even matter in the end because he never even answered your subtle way of asking. you didn’t feel like double texting because a.) you hadn’t done that in months and b.) it seemed too obvious. 
in the end, you did all that you could do and told rei that you had no information to provide, even after a week had passed. that was your, now monthly, interaction with suga that month. 
but it wasn’t like you weren’t thinking about him. 
your interactions moved from text to strictly snapchat, where you would hold streaks for considerable amounts of time. but every time you seemed to break contact with him, you found yourself blaming them. but you couldn’t blame them. they were with him, dating him. they had a right to claim a spot by his side. you had learned to pull back and just live your life. 
but life didn’t want you to have a great time either. albeit through a simple app like snapchat, he was the one asking you if you were okay. at this point, you would probably just deflect but somehow, you found yourself telling him about how you didn’t do so well on your entrance exams, despite having done what you could to prepare for them. you just thought you were so focused to do well, but maybe it was too much focus. you told him it would be alright. another notification came through.
snapchat from sugar wara  
you opened it to a selfie of him, one that was angled upwards to position him looking right up into the camera, his wide hazel eyes being the centerpiece of the photo. the caption simply said, “promise?”
and that was when it happened. you felt something different in your heart like it was knocked around in your chest. you smiled at the simple response and replied, “yeah i promise!!” 
it felt strange, but you finally admitted it, 
you were in love with koshi sugawara. 
timing was, without a doubt, a demise in all of your previous relationship endeavors. you could never seem to get that part right, also coming in too fast or not knowing if you should wait. you had only hoped that someone you liked would like you just as much. so catching feelings for someone, strong feelings at that, was not part of your current life plans. let alone with suga, someone you were, at one point, extremely close to. 
you know so much about him and what scared you was that your confession would be the only one that could mess up whatever relationship you had left with him. why couldn’t you just enjoy where you stood with him? why should your selfish feeling have to get in the way? 
stupid was an understatement as you how you felt. he was still dating rei, and that didn’t look like it was going to end anytime soon. you didn’t know what to do or how to cope. you can fight your feelings, but they can’t change right away. and for as long as you’ve known suga, the history you’ve shared with him, it seemed like these feelings weren’t leaving anytime soon. 
you spent the next couple of weeks trying to get everything out, while simultaneously trying to forget. you vented about it to your friends and while most of them offered advice, you stuck with just remaining stagnant. one of them suggested that you confess to him but that was what you feared most: that your feeling would become so overwhelming that you had to do something impulsive to relieve them. he would probably never talk to you again. there was nothing you could do. he was in a relationship with someone he really likes. why would you try to ruin that for him? 
you didn’t go to any of the preliminaries, mostly because of prep courses and trying to prepare for the next round of entrance exams. you still kept up with suga and saw that they won in the game against seijoh and we now going to the finals against shiratorizawa. you swiped up on his story and typed a simple, “omg that's amazing!! see I knew you guys could do it.” you continue to scroll through your phone, not thinking that much about it until a notification popped up.
sugar wara is typing…
snapchat from sugar wara
yeah it was great! Wish you could have been here though :(
me too! college prep courses seem to have been taking up all my time :P
is there any chance that you could try to find time to come to finals? 
we've been trying to get all the support that we can
plus it would be nice to see a familiar face there :) 
yeah i'll see what i can do to try to be there!
 wymd a familiar face? hasn't rei been going to the prelims?
they have been but we actually broke up about two weeks ago
i sort of initiated it but i promise it's okay
your eyes almost fell out of your head when you read that 2 weeks ago you were talking about how you were in love with him and were and decided to accept that it wasn't going to happen. now you're hearing that at the same time they had broken up? It seemed odd and... bittersweet. 
oh no i'm sorry kou :(
you bit your lip as you couldn't help but ask.
wdym you initiated it tho?
so kageyama has been killing it as our setter especially with his quick attack move with hinata 
rei was worried that i wasn't being treated fairly bc i'm a senior and vice-captain and all that. i tried to reassure them that i just want to see our team thrive and go to nationals but they still were worried about it and would talk about how they would go to games and never see me play once
it's been hard especially that it happened right before the seijoh game and now before finals
yeah i'm sure it's been difficult 
but don't beat yourself don't blame yourself so much! the team needs your support just as much as it needs players. nobody could replace that :)
thanks y/n :) i appreciate you so much
although you thought you would be happy, you can’t help but still feel weird about this whole thing. you felt like the ball was in your court but your bum arm couldn’t receive it properly. your feelings for him had been strong and you felt like you had to pack them all the way so now it just felt wrong to let them flow out again. but now that there was no conflict of interest, did you have to hide your feelings? 
it was more complicated than it was before. you didn't know how anything was going to play out at all and that kinda scared you. you did know one thing though, and that was how to be a loyal friend to suga because that's all you ever were from the start and that's what you could and would be for the future.
-
it was the friday before the finals game. 
you decided to stay late after school to maximize your focus on studying. it seemed to have worked because the sun was going down before you knew it. you wanted to get ahead on work so you could go to the game tomorrow. you and suga had been talking more recently and while it wasn’t as much as it used to be, it was more than it had been in the past several months. 
you quickly gathered up your things and left school for the night. the pretty orange and pink sky lit your way home through the quiet town and into the residential parts. at that point, the dark had met and light and-
“y/n! hey, wait!”
you turned to see none other than suga, jogging up behind you to catch up. you smiled at his sudden presence, looking past him to see the small group of the rest of the team. 
“hey! funny seeing you here.”
“yeah, haha,” he chuckled, catching his breath from suddenly running a considerable distance. “are you going home?”
“yeah.”
“can i walk with you?”
“of course.”
great! so i’m guessing you stayed late at school? you’re still wearing your uniform.”
“oh, yeah,” you affirmed, looking down at your monotonous outfit. “i just wanted to be all caught up on work and studying so i could go to the game tomorrow.”
“oh, yeah? that’s good to hear! yeah, we were-- we just had a late practice. coach left before us but we wanted to stay a little longer.”
“i hope you guys win tomorrow, it seems like you’ve been working really hard.”
“yeah, i hope so too. we’ve come a long way in such a short amount of time, it just feels like we can’t stop now.” 
you nodded in agreement. there was a beat of silence just then, and while it wasn’t awkward, it felt like something was lingering in the air.
“so, um,” he spoke up after several seconds. his eyes met yours and you felt that pang in your chest again, quickly looking away. “it’s been a while, huh?”
“yeah. yeah, it has, i guess,” you laughed lightly. you reached the intersection with the never-ending blinking stoplight and you turned around to face him.
“but i guess i’ll see you tomorrow, right?”
“yeah. yeah!”
“okay, get some sleep. goodnight.”
he nodded and you grinned at him before turning around to walk the rest of the way home until his voice stopped you again.
“hey, y/n?”
“yeah, kou?”
he looked down and all around, anywhere but your face.
“i, um, i know things have been kinda weird between for a while but it’s made me realize that i missed you, a lot.”
“yeah, i missed you, too.”
“but it’s also made me realize that i enjoy spending time with you and talking to you. like, even now, just talking to you makes me feel-- i don’t know. it makes me feel at ease like i’m home. and i’d really like to spend more time with you because i, um, i really like you.”
“you, you what?”
“i really like you, sugar.”
in all the ways you had imagined this happening, you never thought that you would feel your face fall to a frown, your heart beating in your ears. something just didn’t sit right with you about it.
“i, i, i don’t know what to say...”
“it’s okay if you don’t! i just wanted to tell you.”
“but why are you telling me this now?”
“do you-- do you not feel the same?”
“no. no! i’ve been wanting to hear you say something like that for so long, it’s just. you broke up with rei not too long ago and-- i don’t know. something isn’t right about it.” you shook your head, unsure of what you were trying to say.
“it’s how i feel,” he shrugged. “i just wanted to tell you and have a good feeling to hold onto to make tomorrow a little easier.”
you looked at him in disbelief.
“oh, so you think you can confess all that to me right before this big game and that i’ll automatically reciprocate those feelings when you just broke up with someone not even a month ago? i’m not a second choice--”
“no, sugar, listen, that’s not how i meant it at all--”
“no sugawara.” those words made him go quiet instantly. you never used his full name, there was always some sort of play on it, so this was serious. 
“maybe that’s not how you meant it, but that’s how i’m taking it. i’ve been wanting to tell you for so long how i felt but i wanted to respect your feelings so i didn’t. so please, respect mine. i’m not the good luck charm that you can just confess to and expect that it’ll all be okay. this just isn’t right. i’m sorry, koshi. 
your voice broke as his name left your lips, tears beginning to fall. you didn’t even give him a chance to respond, a rush of adrenaline telling you to quickly turn and get out of there. 
-
you didn’t get much sleep that night. 
it was hard not to think about your conflicted feelings over suga’s confession. you had hoped for that moment for a long time but the timing simply wasn’t right. how funny and ironic is that? you thought your timing was off. maybe you were meant for each other in that way. you couldn’t help but let your feelings get the best of you and you were beginning to become what you feared most from him. you thought he would immediately reject you and make you feel bad about ever saying anything about how you felt. but the roles are reversed and that was the part that blindsided you the most. 
you didn’t think that how you reacted was wrong but you also couldn’t imagine how he was feeling right now. he just wanted to feel good right before a big game but that backfired right in his face. some might call it karma, but part of you thought he didn’t deserve it. 
the pressure was setting in as the game went into the fifth and final set. what made it worse was kageyama wouldn’t be starting that set, his nose bleeding from the spike he took to the face. suga was genuinely thrilled to be a teacher, a mentor, and a support system for his fellow teammates. he didn’t mind that another, rather talented, setter had joined the team because that meant he wouldn’t have to worry about passing the position over to someone who he thought didn’t deserve it. 
he almost forgot he was actually a player on the team when everyone looked to him to fill in. this was his moment and it just happened to be at the most overwhelming part of this game. Both teams were tired while simultaneously running on pure adrenaline to see who was going to come out on top. 
suga had an opportunity, not only to start the set but be the trailblazer for their success. 
the nerves set in as he held up the paddle with the number nine on it, kageyama holding it up with him for a moment. It was symbolic in a way. suga always thought he’d be passing the baton to him, his successor as karasuno’s official setter, but this felt just as sentimental. Suga hadn’t played much this season but he got to watch the team grow into something that it once was: something great. They’ve had their share of loss and strife but it finally seemed like they had come so far and the only direction they can go is up. 
the nerves set in as he looked around, anywhere to ease them. His eyes automatically went to the team banner, black with the simple word ‘fly’ written over it, where all the school and their supporters were watching. he went down the line quickly but the wave of a hand caught his eye. his eyes shifted back and felt that familiar grin on him.
it was you. 
“c’mon suga! You can do it!”
and so he did. 
once the final ball hit the ground, the room was quiet with shock. it had been tight for most of the game but no one really expected this outcome. they were going to nationals. daichi, suga, and asahi embraced, taking in the satisfying feeling of victory. 
after the awards ceremony, you were buzzing with excitement for them, trying to calmly follow the rest of the crowd out of the gym. you could tell they were somewhere along the hallway as another crowd formed to congratulate the winning team. you weaved in and out of it, even getting on your toes to see if you could spot a familiar head of gray hair. 
you finally caught a glance at him from afar, his smile growing as his eyes locked onto yours.
“y/n!”
you mimicked his expression and found your feet moving quicker than your brain could process. he put in the same amount of haste to meet you in the middle. you both stopped at about an arm’s length away from each other. his flushed cheeks and slightly red but glistening eyes held your smile as you decided to speak first. 
“hey, kou.”
“hey, sugar.”
another minute couldn’t be wasted as you finally crashed into one another. it felt better to hold somebody that you knew and genuinely loved. you could be sure that he felt the same way as he held your body tightly against him. 
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heyo haikyuu night! send any requests right here..
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thewritershelpers · 4 years
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Improving Your Writing when English Isn’t Your First Language (mega-ask)
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As you can see above, we've gotten more than one question about writing, improving your writing, and even publishing in English when it's not your native language. First off: that's awesome. To anyone writing or even consuming in a language that's not your first, kudos to you.
You can google any variation of this question and get different articles with a ton of the same advice, and some with conflicting advice. Not only have I compiled the most commonly repeated information, but I've also reached out to people on our Discord server and others for their personal experiences.
I'll start off by listing concise versions of the advice and then expound on them further on in the article. Remember that we are not experts on your writing and that everyone learns in different ways and at different paces. These are in no particular order.
-be patient
-practice
-get feedback from native sources
-don't undermine yourself to your audience
-Grammarly
-research
-don't get discouraged
Be patient
That's first because, well, duh. Patience is so important for both yourself and your writing. Writing is hard enough of a passion without the added difficulty of doing it in a language that doesn't come naturally. In the world of literature, writing/publishing in your non-native language isn't just a matter of translating words. It requires translating of ideas, concepts, and even cultural norms, which is why just slapping it into Google translate won't work.
Part of the reason for the advice of having patience, too, is that writing in your native language needs to take time. It doesn't really matter how fast you can whip out 20 pages of a first draft--it'll still be a simple first draft. Writing is a craft that requires not just love and passion but time. So what if you need a little bit of extra time--or a lot of extra time--because you're accomplishing a feat most don't even think about attempting?
Next is to practice.
That goes hand in hand with what I said about being patient. Again, writing in and of itself is all about practice and doing it daily (not that I'm an expert on getting that done, but you know). But when it comes to practice another language, there are different ways you can do that. You can reach out to native speakers (for English, there are going to be so many people willing to help, even just in our community! you just need to ask) and practice having conversations or ask them to look over your work. Practice by turning on your favorite movie or TV show in English with subtitles in your native language. Watch videos on YouTube, find a Spotify playlist/podcast, in your target language. There's also plenty of people who have done what you're trying to do who have shared their experiences and what helped them on those same platforms.
Get feedback from native speakers
This is a bit of an expansion on what I mentioned in the previous paragraph. In my experience, and from what others have shared, writing in a non-native language can be pretty clinical. Writing with figurative language or in metaphors won't be as easy or come as naturally as it does in your own language. Things like idioms and even pop cultures reference aren't always going to translate even if you have the exact words. That's where native speakers come into play. If they're willing to look over your work, whether as a friend or in an editorial position, they can give you advice about whether the wording in one spot sounds clunky or if a phrase doesn't make sense or if there're synonyms for what you already used to help convey your message even stronger.
Don't undermine yourself
This is something that I personally am saying. It's not mentioned on any of the linked sites, and no one I talked to said it. But as someone who is a native English speaker (and even has a degree in it) I think this is super important. This point goes towards native English speakers/writers, too. Don't undersell yourself and undermine your work to the audience before they have even picked it up. Disclaimers are different, and it all comes down to the words you use and how you use them. Let your readers know, whether it's people on AO3 or a literary agent, that English isn't your first language. Let them know concisely that they may find some basic errors--but stop there. Don't grovel. You have nothing to apologize for, especially once you've given that warning (those is it really a warning? what's so dangerous or scary about a few mistakes?). You're writing is not going to be any less of an accomplishment for a few grammatical errors, or mistranslated phrases, or even typos. I've seen so many mistakes in published works that it's kind of ridiculous. But if you put something out there for someone to read and in the same breath say "I don't know that this is worth reading" I'm going to need extra convincing to pick it up. *kicks soapbox away*
Grammarly
*NOT sponsored*
Grammarly is a wonderful tool that you can use, for FREE. It not only (with the free version) helps correct spelling and grammar, but can also help point out the tone you're writing with. For example, right now, Grammarly is telling me that this writing sounds mostly informative--which it's meant to be--and a little appreciative and friendly. When sending emails I've had it tell me that it sounds formal (which I was going for), and I've also had it not say anything because the text was a different kind of writing (like when I'm proof-reading something being posting it on AO3...). I honestly don't know what else it helps with once you've paid because I've been happily using the free version for about 3 years now.
Research
Don't be afraid to pick up a book, or head to the library, or pull up Google. Research is paramount to writing anyway, let alone once you're doing it in another language. Your research options are limitless and can include your mutuals on social media as well as those dictionaries that translate from one language into another. Research can also include (in my humble opinion) binge-watching/reading your favorite things...in English. In four years of university, one of the most frequently said things was to improve your writing 1) write every day and 2) read every day. You're never going to learn from worrying or overthinking, and you're also never going to learn from just doing DuoLingo (that's more conversational than literary anyway).
Something a member of Discord specifically said in relation to research was to look at morphology, at the roots of words (and root words). Morphology is, in linguistics, looking at how words are formed. For example, let's look at "biology". There are parts to this word that each has a different meaning, that formed together created a new/elevated meaning. "ology" means the study of something, and bio means life. So biology is, simply, the study of life. Once you've got those basics of things like "ology" under your belt it'll become easier to not just translate words but the concepts (if this works with your learning style).
Last but not least, don't get discouraged.
Writers of all kinds get discouraged when writing in their native language. Even those of us who speak English as our first language make mistakes worth discouragement (you will never know how many typos were corrected by Grammarly as I wrote this all out the first time). English is not an easy language. It's not the hardest, but it's far from easy (learning another language isn't easy regardless of what languages are involved). This is a post from someone who is a non-native English speaker but you would never know unless they told us.
While researching for this, I found some articles/blog posts that said mostly the same thing, and are where I got some of the information
This one is from a native English speaker giving advice
This one is for writing for non-native English readers, but still has good advice
And finally this one is a blog post (I think) from someone who is a non-native English speaker!
In specific response to some of the asks:
English, like any other language, changes. It's a very dynamic language, actually, and from region to region, there will not only be different accents but different frames of reference. 1950 isn't so far back in time for the English to be drastically different from what is spoken today, but I'm in the USA and you're asking about Oxford. English in England has very different nuances, even more so than you would get between California and Texas and New York. This is a link to the Oxford English Dictionary list of words that became more common in the 50s. However, this is a generalized list, not specific to any English-speaking country let alone region or city. If you're wanting to look at how to convey the accent of people from/in Oxford, there are videos on YouTube of people speaking in different accents so that you can have an idea, a comparison, at least in your own mind. With the 50s it's going to be more just thinking really of what words and lifestyles and things weren't around yet; cell phones didn't exist yet. Here's another link to some stock images of Oxford in the 50s. Remember, this time was very close to WWII so there'll be lingering effects of that, especially in England.
About fight scenes and curses, there's a ton of resources on that. If you just search "fight" on our page, you'll get a ton of posts answering that question. Also, here's a link to a superb and excellent source on writing fight scenes. When it comes to curses...just watch Rage Quit on YouTube, or spend a while on TikTok. If you want to dive right in just Google "English curses" and there'll be YouTube videos, entries on Urban Dictionary, you name it.
When it comes to publishing, once you've gotten your manuscript is a perfect time to have a native-speaking friend look it over. Whether editing is their thing or not, they'll be able to help with the things that are really obvious. I don't have any experience publishing in a different language, though, so there might be other resources along the different stages to help you. Some general publishing advice I've gotten: when wanting to publish fiction, literature, start small. Start with short stories in literary journals, online and in print. You really can't make much headway with large publishing houses without a literary agent and it'll be easier to attract one if you have evidence that you can write, and write well enough people want to read it. When it comes to poetry, just start submitting. Get familiar with the process, and educate yourself on things like simultaneous submissions and a good rejection. Publishing is an ever-changing game that isn't cut and dry in any language or country. We can't tell you what's best, but my advice is to go with your gut and try your best. Don't be afraid to try again, too.
Everyone overthinks their writing. Or at least, everyone I know who writes does. Honestly, in my opinion, if you're not overthinking at least a little bit, you're not worried enough. You will never be able to fully know whether you've explained or described enough. A good chunk of the experience is up to the readers, so you have to leave them some wiggle room for imagination. But that doesn't mean you have to cheapen your story or short-change your characters. You mention specifically that you're POC, which I'm gonna guess also means that your characters will be POC. It's never too much to specify the race/ethnicity of your characters, even in a fantasy work. How you go about writing those descriptions might need to change but it's kind of like chocolate chips, in my mind: you decide those things with your soul.
So, there you have it. A ridiculously long way to say: you're awesome, you do you, practice, love yourself and your writing, and don't be afraid to put yourself out there (in any way).
(images read:
Anonymous said: Im writing a book based in Oxford in 1950s. how was the language different from now. I am not from an English speaking country at all. Never been outside my country either. And Im going to write a book based in England in English
Anonymous said: Hi there, I’m a writer for almost 3 years now but since English isn’t my first language I get discouraged easily if things I write come off strange to myself. Do you maybe have any advice for me, on how to motivate myself and not comparing myself with native English speakers? Thank you in advance!
Anonymous said: Hello! I starting to work on this shortfic but it’s been really hard. It’s like I’m trying to building a house alone and with my bare hands. Even though I’m already used to write in mother tongue. Any advice for non-english speaker trying to write their first story in English?
Yaelburstine said: Hi. Do you have any tips about how to write a good fight scene and curses that people speak English get cus’ it’s not my first language
gyger said: I am not a native english speaker, but most of the books I read are in english and I generally prefer writing in english as well. However, I am worried about making mistakes that I can’t recognize myself. I have no idea how good my english is to a native english speaker, plus some things are easier to write in my native tongue (such as dialogue). I’m also worried about publishing, since that definitely would be easier in my country than abroad. How do I decide what language to choose?
Anonymous said: As a POC writer and English as their second language, I overthink all the writing I do. I feel like I don’t describe my ideas thoroughly or my character descriptions are vague or not good enough. I’m currently working on a YA novel but I plan on writing a YA fantasy novel but I feel like my lack of vocabulary and grammar structure makes me give up on finishing my book. Is this normal for native English speaking authors or is this considered a language barrier thing? Thanks! Love your blog!
Thank you for your questions, and for your patience as we do our best to answer them.
-S
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unsafepin · 3 years
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Optical Illusions: A Study of Aesthetics in Activism in Two Accounts
There’s been a particular thing bothering me about social media for a while. I should probably get a cool editing app, write it in a few bullet points and post it on Instagram. You know what I’m talking about, right? The goddamn infographics. If I have to sit through another slideshow explaining to me another military conflict, another societal issue, another existential unfairness on a baby pink background in a cheery font, I might combust. But the cognitive dissonance of aesthetics in activism has been a problem for a while, hasn’t it? So today, I want to examine the effect of focusing on aesthetics over content, or, on the flipside, not considering the optics of your activism enough, and what it does to the consumer of your content by picking apart two local activist-adjacent media projects, Tetraedras and Giljožinios.
Firstly, I want to make my own bias abundantly clear. I am personally acquainted with the teams of both projects, so obviously there will be innate personal bias involved. I highly encourage anyone reading to check both projects out themselves (@t3traedras and @giljozinios on Instagram, as well as Giljožinios’ YouTube channel) and make their own conclusions on the matter. I believe that while my familiarity breeds deeper knowledge of my subjects, it also makes me more vulnerable to assumptions about individuals involved. My insights come from the perspective of an observer, not an expert. Welcome to the circus.
The use of the word “optics” in a metaphorical political sense sprung up in the 1970s to describe the way major political decisions would not necessarily affect an average citizen, but how it would appear to them, e.g. 'U.S. President Barack Obama temporized for weeks, worrying about the optics of waging war in another Arab state after the Iraq fiasco' (Toronto Star, 19th March 2011). However, it’s become increasingly relevant in our age of social media, an age of perceptions over substance, of shortening attention spans and increased barrage of information one has to stomach daily. Social media is the great equalizer - a random person off the street can theoretically hold as much influence as a politician - thus it is becoming increasingly crucial for the average Joe posting on the countless apps owned by Facebook to be as familiar with PR terms as a firm with a six figure salary. Or at least that would be nice, seeing that more and more average Joes are becoming actively involved in politics and education, seeking to influence their newfound audience.
So, let’s see how successful average people with no media or politics degrees are at balancing their image. Both Tetraedras and Giljožinios lean into their 2010’s social media project optics: millennial pink themes, bold names, young teams. But that’s where the similarities end. Tetraedras’ brand is safety. The shades of color on the profile are calming, the illustrations are youthful and playful, their more serious posts are interspersed with more relaxing content (poetry, photoshoots, etc.). Giljožinios is confrontational. The colors electric, posts loud and to the point, they’re what it says on the box - a leftist project - and unapologetic about it. This might help to explain why audiences react as differently as they do to these two, on the surface, similar accounts. Because while you might’ve stumbled on Tetraedras organically while browsing, them having almost two thousand followers, Giljožinios crashed into the educational/political social media scene by being featured on the goddamn national news, that’s how controversial the project is. And obviously I am oversimplifying the issue, Tetraedras slowly built up to posting more opinionated content, while Giljožinios came in guns blazing accusing USA of imperialism, but you’ll have to let me explain. Tetraedras, in its essence, is a welcoming environment. They explain complicated problems in short bullet points with accompanying comforting visuals, their mascot is a inoffensive geometrical figure and their face is a beautiful girl, make-up matching the theme of the post. Giljožinios is named after a revolutionary device, their profile picture is a monarch being beheaded, their host quite infamously sat in front of Che Guevara memorabilia in their first and (as of writing) only video. It’s a lightning rod for angry comments by baby boomers, no matter what comes out of their mouth. In fact, I would argue that, if presented accordingly, the idea that the US is conducting a kind of modern imperialism is just a simple fact and personally can’t wait until Tetraedras posts that with a quirky illustration of Joe Biden to introduce the concept to the wider public.
This leads me to my next point, because despite what’s been previously suggested, I’m not here to solely sing Giljožinios’ praise. There is a cognitive dissonance in both of these flavors of social media activism, but while I can understand Tetraedras’ on a PR level, I’m kind of personally insulted by Giljožinios’. While purely personally I find aspects of Giljožinios’ radicalism distasteful, I appreciate the honesty in the youthful maximalism, of coming in strong and not backing down, but from the guys that made a communist Christmas tree once I almost expected something more stirring than “military industrial complex bad”. This leads me to ask: who is your content for? Your average breadtube-savvy twenty-something already heard this a thousand times, because they consume similar english-speaking content and I doubt any minds of the vatniks that came by to fume in the comment section are being changed. I’m obviously harking on a newborn project here, the team of which has already been bitten by authorities censoring their content, but so far there has been a lot of optical bark, but no substantial bite, especially considering the team seems to be in a safer place now. And the inverse is true for Tetraedras, while I can understand wanting to be visually interesting yet inoffensive, their visuals are sometimes laughably, morbidly light for the topics they discuss Sexily posing in Britney Spears-inspired outfits while discussing the horrors of her conservatorship springs to mind (funny how Britney’s conservatorship leads her to have next to none bodily autonomy, including her public costume choices). And, once again, your target audience is teenagers. They understand English, they’ve seen the news, they don’t need you to translate infographics filled with statistics and information that’s locally completely irrelevant. There needs to be some kind of middle ground between aesthetic cohesion and common sense, because this all signals to the viewer that the content is meant to be mindlessly consumed first and to educate second.
Which leads me to ponder what kind of consumption accounts like these encourage, which will surely lead me to an early grave as I drink away the existential dread of how social media rots all of our brains. Because yes, actually, producing funky visuals to convey an idea way too complicated for an Instagram post is fun. I myself got distracted multiple times during writing to make the first slide for my own post. Meta, I know. This is obviously more of a problem for Tetraedras, who seem to fervently resist injecting their content with a few more paragraphs and a tad more nuance, but even with Giljožinios choosing a more appropriate long-form format to educate, I still pray everyday they don’t get lost in the revolutionary reputation their group built up and forget to make a point, not just talking points.
Because what all this all inevitably leads to is misinforming the public. Again, this seems to be less of a problem for Giljožinios, as the amount of critical eyeballs they have on them leads to them being corrected on every incorrect numerical figure and grammatical mistake, I just hope all this harassment, once again, doesn’t get them all caught up in the optics of a revolution against all the Facebook boomers and forgetting to do their due diligence to the truth. As far as I know, the only factual mistake is miscalculating how much Lituania invests in NATO and there’s still a historical debate in their comment section about the existence of a CIA prison in Lithuania, if anyone’s concerned. Tetraedras, however, is safe. And safe content goes down just like a sugar-coated pill, you don’t even feel the need to fact-check it. And fact-checking is what it sorely requires, or else you’re left with implying that boxing causes men to become rapists and citing statistics of every country except the one in which, you know, me, the team and the absolute majority of their followers live in.
So what’s my goddamn point? Burn your phone and go live in the woods, always. But in the context of this essay, if you are a content creator that aims to educate, inform, incite, whatever, you need to put aesthetics on the backburner. And, more importantly, we as consumers need to stop tolerating content that puts being either pretty or inflammatory first instead of whatever message it’s trying to send, because the supply follows where the demand goes. Read books, watch long-form content made by experts, not teenagers on the internet chasing followers out of not even malicious intent, but almost a knee-jerk reaction. Because while the story of those two accounts cuts especially deep, expectations for local-, even friend-made content being much higher than that for some corporate accounts shooting their shot at activism, the problem is entrenched deep, thousands of accounts exhibiting the same problems racking up millions upon millions of followers. Having said that, my attention span is barely long enough to read the essays I write myself, so maybe do burn your phone and go live in the woods.
Also, pink is actually my brand so both of these accounts are being contacted by my lawyers and the rest of you don’t try any shit.
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mandrs-writes · 3 years
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My Writing Advice
Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a writer. I vividly remember writing stories about my dog way back when I was seven years old. And when I was eleven I was bold enough to think I could write my own novel and sent drafts to my older cousin for editing. Writing was my life, my escape, my passion. And it still is. But I haven’t always had a good relationship with it.
When I turned thirteen, I struggled severely with undiagnosed depression and anxiety. High school was terrible for me. All that passion I felt for writing? Gone. It wasn’t until I was older, that I was diagnosed with depression and began taking antidepressants. At the time, I was attending college to become a nurse, which was literally just a crapshoot because I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do with my life. Finally though, I came to the realization again that English, or writing, was more my passion. So I changed majors.
I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in English literature with a focus in creative writing. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Wow! You probably wrote a lot during college!” Wrong. While I did write a lot of thesis papers, did a short stint in poetry, I think I wrote one short story for my fiction workshop. But other than that? Nothing. I don’t know when it happened, but I developed a severe fear of writing.
What is a fear of writing, you ask? Honestly, I don’t know. All I know is, I would write something and get literal anxiety over it because I hated it that much. I would agonize over every little detail until I was ripping my hair out. I despised my writing, something I used to be so passionate about, it was now something that caused me great distress.
Why am I sharing this with you? Well, as some of you know, I am now a very active fanfic writer for ereri. I update roughly two fics a week and sometimes I sprinkle a one shot in there if I’m feeling sassy. So how did someone like me, someone who used to agonize over my writing, go from hating every detail of it, to sometimes pumping out roughly 10k words a week and actually enjoy my writing?
While I am no expert on writing, I want to share my advice, regardless. I’ve come into contact with so many great writers who I know struggle with similar things that I once did, and sometimes still do (I’m far from perfect). Here are some tips I have when it comes to writing. I hope it helps:
Get in the right headspace. Clear your area of any and all distractions. Lock yourself out of social media, turn off your phone, kick your significant other out of the house— whatever that looks like for you, just create the perfect space for you to create. Any distractions could easily pull you out of your creative mindset and ruin your flow. I personally always work in my living room, away from my desktop because I just know I’ll play video games if I try to write in my office. I find the perfect playlist for the scene I’m writing (I seriously have so many playlists for writing. If you don’t have Spotify premium for playlist making, I seriously suggest you get it), sometimes put a Pinterest aesthetic board up in the background, and just get to it. My fiancé knows when I’m writing not to bother me and he stays in the other room. Make sure you establish clear boundaries with your housemates when you’re writing. Interruptions can sometimes not be pretty. 
Once you’re in the right headspace, JUST WRITE! Seriously, I know it sounds like a no brainer, but it’s a lot easier said than done. Whatever is in your head, just write it out. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad, silly or irrelevant. Just write it. Writing and editing are two very different beasts, and when you’re in writing mode you need to focus ONLY on writing. Again, I know this sounds very obvious, but I know from experience that this is much harder than it sounds. My best suggestion is to find a writing partner to do sprints with. Set a timer for 20 minutes and see how much you can write in that time frame. When you’re writing with a friend, it becomes a challenge to see who can write the most in that 20 minute time. You’d be surprised what you can do in that short amount of time. And what you write might actually be amazing! I know I’ve surprised myself on more than one occasion writing like this.
Keep editing and writing separate. I mentioned this earlier but it’s so important that you do this. Our brains work differently when we edit and write. When we write, we put our heads into a creative mindset where we are inspired to create and expand on new ideas. However, when we edit, our brain slips into an analytical mindset which is great for critiquing and finding errors but TERRIBLE for creation! That’s why you MUST keep these two things separate. Believe me, I know this is hard to do. I used to be SO SO SO bad at this. I would write a paragraph, go back and read it, edit it, and rip it apart. My confidence would be shot, and I wouldn’t be able to write anything else for that session. Eventually, I forced myself out of this bad habit with lots and lots of practice (again, writing sprints are AMAZING for this!). You might think that what you’re writing isn’t any good and you might be itching to go back and read it and fix it. But I assure it, it’s probably A LOT better than you think it is. Leave it alone. Let it sit. And when you’ve finished writing your chapter, let it sit even longer. Don’t touch it for another 12 hours. I’m serious. When you have a fresh pair of eyes and your brain is in the analytical mindset, THAT’S when you should be editing. 
Always carry something with you to write your ideas down. Whether it’s your phone or notebook and pen, always be ready to write down an idea! Sometimes a juicy idea or thought will come to you at an unexpected time like in the shower, while you’re driving, or while you’re trying to fall asleep. That idea WANTS to be written down! Whenever I’m laying in bed, thinking about my stories, I’ll grab my phone and write down a line or phrase or idea that pops into my head. It might not make sense, but my brain is trying to get it out on paper so that’s exactly what I do. I might not use it, but at least it’s there if it does end up being good!
Find a friend/beta reader to read your stuff. And I’m not just saying this for editing purposes. No, I’m saying this for confidence purposes. I’ve always struggled with self-doubt. Like I said before, I struggle severely with depression and anxiety, and sometimes I get into really bad slumps with my writing where I think I’m the worst writer there ever was. My imposter syndrome flares up and I wonder what the hell I’m even doing with myself. Luckily, I have a friend and beta reader who refuses to let me falter when times are hard. And maybe we don’t beta read each other’s works in a traditional sense (I don’t really know how a normal beta reader behaves, to be honest). What I do know is, my friend will leave interactive comments throughout my whole chapter, commenting on what she likes, what she thinks works really well or what could be better. Having her interact with my chapter and tell me what is good and what isn’t, significantly boosts my confidence and makes me feel loads better about my writing. Honestly, if it wasn’t for her, I probably would’ve given up on writing by now. But it’s reassuring knowing my number one fan is always rooting for me on the sidelines. Get yourself a fan that roots for you, too.
There’s no such thing as too many ideas. I always hear people say ‘I have too many ideas. I don’t know what to do with them’. I know what you can do with them… WRITE THEM DOWN, SILLY. If you have inspiration for an idea, WRITE IT. I know you might feel like you have too many projects and that might stress you out. And if you are stressed by the amount of wips you have then maybe you should set some aside. But if you feel a great amount of inspiration for a new idea when you already have another idea in the works, write it anyway. Whatever you do, do not squander that inspiration! That idea wants to be written. Even if you don’t think you’ll do anything with it, it’s great practice and if the inspiration is there, it should be relatively easy to get the idea out on paper. I’ve written multiple chapter fics before because I had so much inspiration for the idea and then never posted them. I was so overcome with inspiration that I just NEEDED to write them. So I did. Maybe I’ll go back to them and finish them one day when the inspiration strikes me. And if I don’t, that’s okay. It’s good practice to listen to your inspiration and use it as it comes. Stifling your inspiration will only hurt you in the long run.
That’s pretty much all the advice I’ve got. This might be a little rambly and I’m sorry for that. I literally was just thinking about this last night and wanted to get my thoughts out so that I could maybe help some people that are in similar situations that I once was a year ago. If you want to write, but you don’t think you can, just do it anyway. Writing takes practice. It’s not something you can master on the first go. It took me almost a year to find my writing voice and I’m still developing it as I go. Don’t get discouraged. If this is something you want, you can do it! Just write!
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cytarabi · 4 years
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Hey! I've become a huge fan of your fics on ao3. I wanted to know how do you push out so many beautiful chapters so quickly? What's your writing process like? I'm working on a big JB fic, which I'm trying to finish timely, but high quality. Always like to see how other writers do their thang! Thank you!
Hi! I remember your name!! <3 Thank YOU for the question and praise, that’s so sweet!!
I love seeing how other writers do their thang, too! And I’ve found it can be very, very different for each author.
TLDR I write a lot of my fic ahead of time. I outline the entire fic, chapter by chapter before I start writing. I use several tools to speed the process and/or to make it more artsy fartsy.
I’ve found that I’m a “plotter” and not a “pantser” (two main ways of writing, unless you hate being labeled lol.)
Plotter means that I prefer plotting out most of the story before I write the details. Here’s been my process for my multichapter fics:
1) I come up with an idea and let it brew! I think about key scenes or dialogue I love and I jot them down in my phone on Google notes. Write down your ideas, you’ll probably forget them.
2) During this brewing time, (for As Black As Thunder and my next fic) I take the time to read, read, read. I read works and jot more notes! I have an entire Google doc for Rebecca by Daphne de Maurier where I wrote down her tone usage, figurative language and summary of each chapter. I can’t tell you how much this has helped get me in the write TONE for the work. Tone is SO important. Readers reading a thriller will expect thriller beats! Deep Fried Drinks was a rom com, so the verbs, adjectives etc are very different from creepy Gothic. When I started As Black As Thunder (ABAT), wow, it was hard to nail the tone at first. But by the second half of the fic, I’m fully immersed in it and it’s much easier to create the tone naturally. Without using inspiration, I don’t think it would have turned out as well. For ABAT, I think I took two weeks of no writing, when I’m used to writing every day. It was hard not to write, but wow, was I ready when I started!
3) When I’m ready to outline, I do! I open a google doc for the fic and start throwing everything I can think of in there. My ABAT doc was only like three lines for 6 months... lol! I’ve only just started looking into story structure, so my older fics are all wonky. BUT for ABAT and Deep Fried Drinks, I tried to follow story structure for plots. First act, second act, third act, character arcs, etc. My longest fic, Time Stops, dropped a bunch of readers in the middle and I think it’s because my middle SAGGED majorly. I didn’t try to follow a structure, just sort of plotted it out how I wanted to, and it was probably very repetitive and boring. For ABAT, I plotted a mid point turn to spice things up, chose things to make the character more proactive, etc. I highly recommend Ellen Brock on Youtube for any plotting advice. She’s an editor, and I’ve learned so much!
4) Organize plot into chapters, write key notes for chapters and fill out background info. The first two are self explanatory, but the third is my favorite! One thing that speeds my writing (I have no idea if people do this or not) but I have lists. So many lists! For ABAT, I have lists of common outfits for characters (I usually hate writing about outfits but I’m glad I wrote more for this work). I also write the character arc for each main character. For ABAT, I have the following for Brienne:
Brienne 
Symbols: white crocus flower (purity, youthfulness, sensitive to rain), White begonia, Small birch saplings struggling for light
Goal: serve public, be idealistic, honorable
Lie: (hidden for spoilers)
Truth: (hidden for spoilers)
Flaw: stubborn, idealistic, watched her father get fame and respect for his engineering, wants to do the same thing and do it perfectly, doesn’t understand systemic racism 
Motivation: serve people, be accepted by the public, belonging, abandonment
Stakes: public rejection, Tarth name on the line, mockery, insanity, failure
So when I think about a curve ball for Brienne at any point of the story, this character section helps me stay true to character. I have a section for Brienne, Jaime, Cersei and Missandei. Cersei has a larger section because she’s a villain... ;)
In addition to this section, I also write down their personalities and strengths. You know, like if they went to an interview lol. For example, I have Missandei have the following strengths: 
Missandei
Adaptability: able to adapt
Intellection: introspective and appreciate intellectual discussions
Consistency: all people should be treated the same
Futuristic: fascinated by future
Learner: loves to learn
I ALSO have an emotion worksheet and this is SO USEFUL. They say in writing: show that the character is angry, not tell the reader. WELL, IDK about you but I can’t keep track of all the little quirks characters do and yet, I want them to be consistent. If while writing a scene, I sometimes think, “Hmm what is Jaime doing if he’s in awe right now?” I search for “awe” at the top of my fic, and bam, I have options, more or less. For a lot of emotions, I brainstormed ideas based on character traits, arcs, Gothic tone etc. I fill all of this out before I write the first chapter. 
Here’s an example of some emotions I have for ABAT:
Emotion List (remember to have introspection, unique perspective) 
Awe:
B: wrinkle deepened between brows, parted lips, fixed gaze, stands still
J: arched brow, open mouth, stare, goes closer
C: lowering chin or raising chin, goes closer
M: adaptable, quick to react
Deceptive:
B: looking away, walking away
J: scratching ear
C: smiling, neatly placed hands
M: long blink
Thoughtfulness:
B: staring off, quiet, daydreaming
J: staring at object important to him, twisting pencil or object in his hand, squeezing his hand
C: squeezing hand, staring at object she wants to get rid of or improve
M: daydreaming, staring off at her own outfit—it’s foreign
5) Now the fun part: writing! I used to write with scene structure outline, but I think I’ve grown off the training wheels. But it really helped me in Deep Fried Drinks to plot out the chapter scenes ahead of time, and I used Ellen Brock’s proactive and reactive videos to help me out with that. I throw on some music to get me in the mood of the story and I write during my kid’s nap, about two hours every day. Sometimes I’ll write at night, but lately I’ve been too tired to do that. My tip for this part is to try and figure out what you want to improve. What are you good at, and what could you improve as a writer? My first fics had like zero figurative language. Awkward. This takes a level of awareness that’s hard to reach but watching or researching creative writing technique really helps me. For example, I used to NEED to write all five senses out for each chapter ahead of time. Now it comes naturally to me! I would say now my main issue is phrasing? Pacing? And I need to tone down the melodrama for my next work....... lol! I write, write, write--and usually, I write 60-90% of the fic before I start editing!
6) Editing. Fun fun fun. I don’t mind editing, I just don’t think I’m that GOOD at it. I try to read through my chapter twice and edit as I go. I look for things I want to take out or add, look for show vs tell, formatting, etc--do things make sense? Did I miss anything? In ABAT, I’ll write something in chap 20 that I need to start in chap 18, so I’ll go back and make a quick note to “add part about document somewhere in this chapter” so I don’t confuse readers. When I edit chap 18, I’ll add that line or paragraph in. It’s all an intricate web! I also have a list of vague words I try to eliminate or replace with stronger words (I have more words if you want them). I found that I have certain words or phrases that echo a lot, like “while”, “turned around”, “turned” or “did not”--now I search for these phrases/words and try to change them:
Get rid of vague words, fix by explaining more:
Some 
While
Thing
Stuff
Very
Really
Big/small
Good/bad
Simple verbs: had, was, went
Got/get
Few
Several
What
Do/Did
It
Like with all writing “rules”, they can be broken, but it helps to know why they are rules. I steered away from adverbs, and I think it improves my writing. Other writers have different prose and adverbs work so well--it all depends on your style! If I find these vague words in dialogue, for example, I almost never change them because dialogue is usually freaking vague lol!
7) Beta reader(s)! I honestly think this work is better than my other stuff because I have a newer beta reader, theunpaidcritic!!! *I bow* She’s literally an expert so it’s SO helpful for me in every way--I can’t fangirl about her enough. If you’re struggling to get a beta reader, I recommend joining a JB discord (transformative werk is my favorite discord, and there is a beta read request thread) or post a request on reddit!
8) Post! Once you’ve edited and gone over beta reader notes, it’s time to post! Congrats!!!!!!!!!!
For time reference, I started this process around mid-May for ABAT, and I will be done by early September. Maybe I’m just a fast writer? Compared to angel-deux, ha, I look slow. Everyone is different! Please let me know if you have any other questions, I am ALL about helping out! :) <3 <3 <3
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Random question, do you have much of process when you're writing? I have the worst tendency to just mind vomit words onto a page, and hate almost all of them. Would be very interested to hear how other writers do it - thanks
Oh boy, do I have a process. And I will gladly share with all of you. But, first, I’d like to preface something.
I’ve been writing “seriously” for over a decade, since I was about eight or nine and, so, I’ve had these past twelve years-or-so to develop my own process and style. Keep in mind that what works for me may very well not work for you. I’m by no means a professional nor an expert - I mean, shit, I’m just a college student - but this is what works for me.
In my opinion, if you’re not pleased with your style, or it just doesn’t work for you, there are two things you can do...
1) Try out another style, and experiment. If something else works better, vibe with that shit.
2) Realize that your style is what your brain wants to do, even if you don’t like it because it’s not “normal”; sometimes, you just need to accept it and then move with the grain, you know?
For the longest time, I hated my own process, and tried everyone else’s processes. I read about all these pros and their processes and styles, and when I tried it, it felt incredibly forced. I found that other people’s styles were bullshit, and I had to work with what my brain wanted to do. 
That’s why I say there are two things to do. If the first option just isn’t working, then hop into the second option.
So, now, onto my process:
I’m a sprinter, not a marathon runner. Right now, my fault is that I’m good at writing in short bursts - usually one shots - because I get bored within a few hours. The fics you read are usually written within a few hours max in one day since my attention span is so messed. At first I hated it, but now I’m learning to work with it.
I also know that I can not write on laptops.
You can ask my friends and people that know me; I almost always write on my phone while taking walks. I average about two to three hours of walking a day, maybe a bit more. Sprinto, on Discord, says I can average about four-hundred words in a fifteen minute period, so usually within those two hours I can push out a fic for you guys. However, I’m also using those walking times to write my own original fiction, as well as my plays, screenplays, and sometimes even my homework. And that’s if I don’t get distracted.
I’m a night owl, and I write far better at stupid hours. The more tired I am, the lower my inhibitions and, therefore, the more creative I am and more willing to take risks. My fics are fun practice for me, so I really go off the shits with them and just...go with it. I never plan ahead or plot (it may be quite obvious lol) and I just aim to have fun. I usually write them late at night or early in the AM while going on a walk, and then I instantly post them to AO3 unedited / barely edited.
Sometimes I jump around with my writing, but most of the time I write straight through from start to finish. I get the idea and I go. That’s that. I know not everyone can do that, and I’m guessing I’m good at this because I’ve been writing for so long? I’m honestly not sure, and I know many of my friends struggle with this, so I’m not sure how to help in regards to that aspect of my writing process.
My best guess?
Don’t second guess, just write. A lot of people stop to edit, or think critically. I let my story play out in my head like a movie, and I’m essentially transcribing everything I see and hear. Never do I stop to edit, and I never intentionally try to make a sentence artsy or pretty or whatever. I just write. So, that’s a big part of my process: write, nonstop. Just go. Who gives a shit if it’s garbage? Editing can come later. And it’s actually been proven that editing while writing is switching between the creative side and the critical-thinking sides of your brain. You’re switching shit up and bogging yourself down. I’m not saying minor edits, such as “hes” to “he’s” or, “msininterprentation” to “misinterpretation”, should be ignored. I’m saying giant ass edits should be noted (either literally or in your head) but you should never stop for that.
Stop being a perfectionist; write.
Writing is never perfect; write.
Some ways to overcome the urge to edit that I found helpful in my earlier days were:
--Cover the top half of your screen with a sheet of paper.
--Write in the same color as your background.
--Copy and paste your work to new documents / a new document every few paragraphs.
I’m sure there are online programs that work, too, but when I was like, twelve, I didn’t know those things existed and these were what worked for me.
Just hammer that first draft out. That’s what I do, and that’s why I enjoy fic writing. I’ve found I can write faster and more confidently when I’m not worrying about how perfect my writing is or whether or not I’m embarrassing myself. My process is structured around quick bursts of writing, and so, this was essential for me to learn. Plus, looking at my writing this way made it far easier for me to accept criticism that would have otherwise hurt me in my earlier days when I was obsessed with perfection.
Now, OP, unfortunately for you, as you can see, I, too, am a word vomiting writer. I just spit shit out onto the page, go blah blah bling blang blong and then I publish. That’s that. And I struggle with long things, whether fic or my own work. That’s why it’s taking me so damn long to finish my multi-chaptered fics, or my screenplays and plays. I’m absolute garbage at not word-vomiting. So I’m not sure how I can help you.
But, if you truly don’t like it, you can either forcibly change it (which may not work, as it didn’t with me), or you can accept and move with the stream, making it function to your advantage. I’d love to help you become more comfortable in your style, so if you’d like, you can DM me or anon-message me again and I’ll try my absolute best to get your writing process to where you like it. I can brainstorm ideas with you, too, when it comes to fixing your process. And this goes for anyone, actually. If you’re unsure of your process, or you’re not sure how to enhance it to better fit you, hit me up and we can think of some techniques that may help you.
Sorry for this long-ass rant. I hope this helps anyone who needs it!
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mooneyedandglowing · 3 years
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Ages ago, I was gifted a copy of Graham Greene's Brighton Rock. I decided I'd start on it last night. 30 minutes. It's a habit I want to make. 30 minutes of reading each night. The thing though is that it took 30 pages to make me give a shit about anyone in the novel, which is too long for most readers. Readers, especially now, very quickly ask, "and so?" And so what is the point? And so who are these people? And so why should I care? And so what? There is something to sticking through to find what might be a pleasure hidden there later on, but there's something to be said on not wasting our time on reading books that don't make us care.
Alternatively, I read Stephen King's Joyland in one sitting and was deeply invested in what is quite a slow book, so see, it's not even just about pacing (although pace is important). Anyway, Stephen King's prose from the 90s onward is sharp skill on every page and within every paragraph in a way that reminds me of the quote "if it sounds like writing, I rewrite it". Writers sometimes get so bogged down trying to turn a pretty phrase that the story and the answers to the "and so what" question get lost. In a world of instant gratification entertainment, writers have a major challenge.
I have some lemon ginger tea. Tea has become a ritual for me. I have a cabinet full of different sorts. Matcha. Chai. Oolong. Herbal teas. Green teas. Earl grey. And different honeys as well. Lemon ginger. Cinnamon and propolis. Raw. Unfiltered and raw with the bee pollen intact.
I'm not saying a whole lot.
I was frustrated with the day. I achieved some of what I wanted but everything was disjointed and unstructured. The storms have undone so much. I wonder for how long the impact. I felt even-keeled enough myself, but I was without the acceptance of flex.
I'm not trying to make anyone care, but I felt like a little journal was due. Changes are happening. One of the hardest has been to give up on a friendship that is one-sided. I'd love to be this person's friend, but they can't be bothered to respond to even the most basic of bullshit I throw their way. And then if I show them something creative, they can't be assed to say anything you'd expect from a friend. "Nice edits!" "I like the colors!" I don't expect the moon and yet not even a "neat" or a "cool" or a "thanks for sharing". 24 hours. 48 hours. It can go longer. A week. Two weeks. Forever. Oh well?
I don't reckon it's a real lack of commonality. I know enough about enough to talk and connect to anyone about anything (and I am always hungry to learn if I don't know), but they never give much interest no matter what conversation topic I might try with them - and they propose little themselves- so I honestly just stopped putting effort into it and went shallow buddy haha jokez and fluff bullshit level. Keep it light. Even that has been a waste of my time, because it is just a lack of give a damn on their part. Despite what they say. And what they say is what makes me always doubt my interpretation. It gets confusing, but I can't locate the joy and they offer none.
If they wanted to, they would. They don't want to, because they don't, and so why am I bothering? I suppose that's it. All I've got is an "and so what? who is this person and why should I care?" with no answers beyond wanting to be someone's friend. Hopeless though as it has been. There's nearly nothing. Neglect eats away at care until there's nothing. And there's nearly nothing.
And I'm not dumb. They are plenty social with people who are not me. And a month ago, it would have still made me angry. Upset. Sad perhaps even. I'm not stupid. I know better than a poor excuse.
Now? Shrug. I'm treated like a throw away and it's boring. I'm tired of my own bullshitting talk about nothing-y things, but I have refused for a while to try harder than that on what seems to ultimately wish I'd quietly slip elsewhere and away. I've felt about all I can feel about it. I've confronted my issues with total rejection and what meaning I had assigned it and internalized. And I'm honestly better than that. And I'm better than throwing a fit myself that'll change nothing. So I'm just feeling bland about it. Factual. They show me that they are not my friend. And so what and who is this person and why should I care?
Nothing, no one, and I won't.
Not like this. Not to just have more straws broken. I'm running out as it is. I'd prefer if it were different. But it isn't. These days, they can't even muster enough of a damn to be semi-polite. It can't be sustained. There's nothing to sustain.
Suits me well enough though. Most anything does. Some people won't want to be in my life - a book they don't want to read. And I guess I am feeling more flexible than I thought. Because this once felt awful. In so many ways for a long time to be honest. And now it's quite alright. Number out of the phone and then to be forgotton. Simple. Easy. Life.
There's a lot going on. There's a lot inside. I'm not saying much. I wanted to go with ease. And with ease we went.
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phati-sari · 4 years
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Hey PS I was wondering if you could give some tips on editing? I know that everyone has a slightly different process that they go through and I was really interested in knowing yours since your stories always have little to no grammatical or spelling errors! Thanks!
Hello!
I’m flattered that you would ask me!! Thank you very much for the confidence boost :)
I began a series of posts on my writing process years ago, but it felt weird to continue it. You can read it here – Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 
Editing tips were to be the next post so maybe this can be Part 4 :) Sorry about the long post -- I tried to put a cut here but it screwed up the entire post by somehow adding the read more link to the ask itself? (Tumblr is drunk?)
‘You might not write well every day, but you can always edit a bad page. You can’t edit a blank page.’ – Jodi Picoult
1. Time
No one wants to hear it, but the editing process needs time. The best thing would be to leave the piece alone for so long that when you return to it, it reads like something new. It’s not always possible but it’s undoubtedly the best thing. The term “fresh eyes” applies here.
The next best thing is to take a break – a few hours or a few days – and come back to it.
2. Start big and work towards the small
Don’t focus on spelling and grammar first.
Most people find it easiest to write dialogue, so write that first.
Come back and work on plot and structure. Play around with what happens and in which order.
Then work on action and emotion (what is everyone doing or feeling while speaking?).
Once that’s done, focus on the words.
3. Be ruthless
Cut anything that’s not working. Sometimes, your first and second drafts are just warm-ups for the final thing. It sounds demoralising but I promise it helps.
4. Read the sucker out aloud
This is especially useful if you haven’t got the time to take a long break between writing and editing – you know what you meant to write and sometimes you just can’t see the errors. When we read, the brain naturally fills in gaps and auto-corrects words. It’s our pattern recognition skills coming to the forefront. Very helpful in an escape room, not so useful when editing. Reading aloud helps you hear the missing words, the repetitions, the things that just don’t sound or feel right. 
5. Check the tense and point of view
I spoke about tense changes in the second part of the series. Basically: pick a tense and POV and stick to them.
I always write in past tense, which means I have to be careful when I’m writing memories or flashbacks. I take extra care that these portions sound more ‘in the past’ than the action.
6. Less is more
Here are some things I look for while I’m editing:
Remove instances of “that” and “had”: Read a sentence, and then read it again without the “that” or “had”. If it still makes sense, get rid of the extra word. If in doubt, leave the word in.
For example:
Khushi said that she knew where Arnav’s laptop was.
Avoid sentence structures featuring “that that”.
For example:
She told him that that idea had come to her as she’d been watching a serial. She told him that she’d been watching a serial when the idea had come to her.
Remove unnecessary modifiers – find a better word: Look for words like “very”, “really”, “so”, and “quite” and replace them and the word they modify with a better word.
For example:
Arnav was so angry furious when he learned Khushi had washed his laptop with soap and water.
Look for redundant words and phrases : First (and second and third) drafts are often full of redundant words. Spotting them is a skill!
For example:
Tears fell from her eyes when Khushi realised she hadn’t helped by washing his laptop.
(Where else would tears fall from?)
I was only trying to help, Khushi thought to herself.
(You can’t think to others unless you’re telepathic.)
This is also where I’d look for someone putting down a book twice, entering or exiting a room twice, someone having three hands, that sort of thing. A common mistake I see is Khushi putting her hand on Arnav’s shoulders. She can’t put one hand on both shoulders, not unless she’s anatomically very different from what was shown in the serial.
Look for passive sentences and make them active: Passive sentences create a barrier between your reader and the actions or emotions of the characters. Sometimes this is exactly what you’re trying to do – keep them detached – but usually you want your readers right there with the characters.
For example:
The laptop was washed by Khushi. Khushi washed the laptop.
Sometimes, it’s a two step process:
The phone was picked up by Payal. Payal picked up the phone. Payal answered the phone.
That’s a personal preference – if I can say it with one word then I won’t use two:
She turned around spun to face him. He was sitting down on the bed.
This leads to an interesting problem. Just this week a reader told me that I use “such hard words to understand” and that they were “googling every minute to know the actual meaning of words”. The word in question, apparently, was “swivelled”, which I’d used instead of “turned”.
Take my advice with a huge grain of salt!!
You need cadence and rhythm: Short sentences have impact. Longer sentences help you build your world and characters. Join sentences together or break them up, see what works.
She spun to face him. He was sitting on the bed. She spun to find him sitting on the bed.
My writing style is economical. This is not always a good thing: I’m often told my updates are short :( But I’m not inclined to take 2500 words when 1800 will do.
6. Check for words/phrases you like using
I overuse “gaze” and “eyes”, I talk about the pulse too much, and I forget to talk about what people’s hands are doing. It’s a learning process.
7. Check for repeated words.
This one only stands out after multiple re-reads, but I try not to use words twice in one update. In this sentence, I used small twice and didn’t need “looking” to describe what he was doing:
Earlier, as he’d rummaged in the wardrobe looking for night clothes, a small yellow notebook had fallen between his feet with a small thud.
8. Check spelling and grammar
I’ve added “Arnav”, “Khushi”, “Jiji” and many other words to the dictionary of my computer. That way, the chance I’ll publish something with “Anrav” or “Kushi” is lowered.
Sometimes, the spelling and grammar check misses things – you’ve written then instead of the – this is where read out aloud comes in very handy. Other things, like the difference between principal and principle, are harder. Grammarly is free and works with Chrome. It picks up a lot of these things and I use it for all my stories.
9. Check your formatting
Are italics and bolding applied consistently? (I use italics for Hindi words but don’t use them for titles in Hindi)
Is everything aligned the same way?
Don’t use ellipses (…)  instead of full stops (.)
10. Change the font or the font-size
Sometimes, our eyes or brains become used to where words fall in a sentence or paragraph. If you change the font or the font-size suddenly things fall into different places and you can find the errors more easily.
I draft in Scrivener but I always paste everything into Wattpad and Tumblr as a way of checking. The difference in font-size and paragraph width (margins) of both platforms helps me pick up errors.
Thanks for asking :) I hope that helps!!
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cpw-nyc · 3 years
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The Lost Art of Having a Chat: What Happened When I Stopped Texting and Started Talking
We are more connected than ever, but we rarely seem to really speak to each other. So, I decided to try.
The Guardian  Rebecca Nicholson
‘People are almost always nicer on the phone than on text.’
Like most people I know, my Weekly Screen Report is obscene. Every Sunday, when the notification pops up to tell me the hours I have wasted, mostly texting, I think about all the things I could have done. Finished Middlemarch. Started Middlemarch. But as I have my phone in my hand, I scroll through Instagram instead. I send an article or a joke to a friend, a picture of the dog to the family WhatsApp, catch up on someone else’s night out. Recently, I clocked up – and I’m ashamed as I write this – six hours and 29 minutes of phone usage in a single day. I have had days where I’ve barely been awake that long. Messages is my most used app. I am talking all the time.
Like most people I know, my Weekly Screen Report is obscene. Every Sunday, when the notification pops up to tell me the hours I have wasted, mostly texting, I think about all the things I could have done. Finished Middlemarch. Started Middlemarch. But as I have my phone in my hand, I scroll through Instagram instead. I send an article or a joke to a friend, a picture of the dog to the family WhatsApp, catch up on someone else’s night out. Recently, I clocked up – and I’m ashamed as I write this – six hours and 29 minutes of phone usage in a single day. I have had days where I’ve barely been awake that long. Messages is my most used app. I am talking all the time.
 But I am rarely talking. For the chatterboxes among us, this is a time of upheaval. The long, spontaneous chat on the phone is going the way of the fax. The percentage of households with a landline that’s used to make calls is declining every year, from 83 percent in 2016 to 73 percent in 2019; the number of calls made on house phones plummeted by 17 percent in 2018 alone. We still use our mobiles to talk – in 2018, Ofcom surveyed mobile users for three months and found only 6 percent of them never made a single call – but we are not talking in any great depth. The same study found that over 80 percent of calls were shorter than five minutes, and the majority were under 90 seconds. I looked at my own recent call list: three minutes, two minutes, five minutes at a push. What can you say in that time? You can only make the point you’ve called to make. 
  I know many will welcome this as a kind of freedom. The very idea of talking on the phone invokes horror among those who claim to loathe it. There are thousands of memes explaining the many ways that talking, not texting, is rude, basically criminal. Calling is not time-efficient, ill-suited to the attention economy, where all eyes must be on several screens at once. You can send messages when you’re doing something else – watching The Irishman, or having a bath, or even talking to another person in real life. My dad recently marvelled at me being able to text with two thumbs; I marvel at teenagers being able to text while talking to you and not looking at the screen. Once technology gave us the ability to easily screen calls, we ran with it. We can ignore the relative who phones with a list of recent hometown tragedies, the work call we don’t feel like taking, our chattiest of friends who might not let us go for an hour. But what happens if you are that chatty friend?
Smart phones are smart enough to tell you that you’re using them too much. The dumb phone is making a comeback. I wondered if it was possible to ride this wave of the digital detox and make a deliberate effort to call instead of text. I wanted to see if it would change my relationships, particularly the ones I had grown lazy about maintaining. The plan was to stay off text and DMs for a solid month. I was fed up of paddling in the shallows. I wanted to swim. If I needed to speak to someone, I’d have to call them. 
 When the writer Elizabeth Wurtzel died in January, a piece she wrote in 2013, about her “one-night stand of a life”, began to circulate again, and it contained one paragraph that hit me particularly hard. “Look at how we live,” she wrote. “We communicate in text messages and emails; even those of us old enough to have lived in a world where landline was not a word because it’s all there was have fallen into this lazy substitute for human contact. I have.” 
 Who hasn’t? It should be easier than ever to talk. There are limitless outlets for publishing our thoughts, endless ways to begin a kind of conversation. Voice memos are popular, particularly among young people, but they’re a halfway house, still one-sided. We talk with one eye on efficiency, and it strangles what is so good about it – the spontaneity, the lack of ability to control what happens when two people are rambling on to each other. 
The psychologist Sherry Turkle has been studying the impact of computers on human psychology since the early 1980s, and in 2015 she published Reclaiming Conversation, in which she referred to “the edited life” that we live now. She spoke to teachers who observed that their students seemed to develop empathetic skills at a slower rate than they would be expected to. “Face-to-face conversation is the most human – and humanising – thing we do,” she wrote. “Fully present to one another, we learn to listen. It’s where we develop the capacity for empathy. It’s where we experience the joy of being heard, of being understood.”  
Are we losing that joy of being heard? Most offices are quieter places than they have ever been. The open-plan rooms I have worked in over the last decade or so are filled with people wearing headphones, silently tapping away on Gchat or Slack. Even workplaces that should invite conversation are making it easier to avoid talking at all. If you stay in a budget hotel, you can check yourself in and out. If you scan your onions on the supermarket’s self- service checkout, you don’t need to chat about what you’re planning to do with them. When it was common enough to be considered a problem, making a phone call on public transport used to be frowned upon. In the early 00s, Dom Joly built a TV career out of shouting “Hello!” into an oversized mobile in public places. Train carriages are now full of heads bowed, illuminated by blue light. A few years ago the Daily Mash ran a much-shared satirical news story: “A northern man has left a trail of terror across London by attempting to interact socially with everyone he meets.” And even in the north, screens have begun to dominate. Quiet carriages are becoming redundant. We are making ourselves quiet.
 In 2014, someone set up a family WhatsApp group. Before then, I spoke to my family on the phone all the time. Now, we spend more time in touch with each other than ever before, yet I miss them. It’s a noticeboard, more than a conversation. The person I still speak to most often, and for longest, is my nan, who is 83. She has a mobile, but doesn’t text. The other day I phoned to see how she was, and she told me a long story about how she was never supposed to have the name that she has, but there were 23 pubs in the village she was born in, and her father stopped in at most of them on the way to register her birth. By the time he got to the clerk, he’d forgotten what he’d been told to call her, so he named her after the clerk instead.
Verbal conversations are unpredictable and unwieldy in a way that those written down are not, because when we type or tap, we are in control, of our side, at least. This ruthless chat efficiency has excised the flab but, I realise, I love the flab. It’s where the excitement happens. I wanted to revive those conversations with everyone. So in my month of no texts, the WhatsApp group would be the first thing to go. I went to delete the app, pressed my finger on the screen, let it wobble – and then I stopped. There was a video of my niece dancing in front of the TV that I wanted to show my partner and I thought, I can just look at the photos and videos, every now and then. Can’t I?                    
https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-lost-art-of-having-a-chat-what-happened-when-i-stopped-texting-and-started-talking?utm_source=pocket-newtab
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risthebrave · 3 years
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⭐star⭐
okay bear with me because i’m typing this on my phone and that is an instant recipe for a mess 🥴
i’m typically super indecisive but there’s one fic i’ve been dying to talk about for months and it finally came out this week but i still want to talk about it—
so spoilers for feeling borrowed, always blue below
writing this fic was a roller coaster of emotions, much like the story itself. i don’t think i’ve ever cried this much writing anything— so yeah it is validating and reassuring when people tell me they cried too shsjks 
i also wrote it over the course of three months: july - october, which is the longest i’ve worked on a project since my first fic which was an ongoing wip which i wrote/posted over six months. and then after those three months, i had another almost three months to let it sit and even get the chance to self-edit it which i’ve never done before sghjkss. i think this was definitely a big project and having that extra time to tackle it really helped. 
the biggest struggle i faced was figuring out how to resolve everything - as you know if you’ve read it, louis was stuck in a seemingly impossible situation and for the longest time, i wasn’t quite sure how i was going to get him out of it. in the end, it was really rather simple. i remember talking to my dear friend who also beta-read this for me, chelsea, about how i was getting closer to the climax and still didn’t know what to do and we were talking about contracts and movies we’d seen with similar elements and i was thinking about how my original plan: dean cheating, isn’t necessarily enough for them to dissolve the entire contract... but then i got to thinking about what was most important to the cartiers. what made them put on this whole charade in the first place, and that’s, of course: reputation. after that, everything sort of fell into place. i kept thinking: what if there was something more hazardous to their reputation about louis marrying dean? what if louis and dean threatened to become public image nightmares? what if, what if, what if - 
writing that scene when louis went to dean’s was arguably the hardest scene to write from the entire fic but i literally could not stop writing it. i started in the evening and literally had to drag myself away from the laptop to eat dinner because i didn’t want to break the trance i had fallen into trying to figure out the best way to have the scene unfold. i was also conflicted on whether or not to show the scene where they went to the cartiers but in the end i chose to gloss over it because it’d just be a lot of reiterating or what louis already told dean and it was completely unnecessary. i also decided to add that small bit about louis talking about how he went into design and later used it as a distraction/clutch after harry broke up with him because having those two explosive scenes back to back was just *too* intense and i needed to diffuse some of the tension. i’m pretty satisfied with how the whole sequence played out, legal inaccuracies beside. 
other than that scene, this fic has two of my top five (and tbh, three) favorite scenes i’ve ever written: the scene where harry comes to louis’ flat confess and then the scene where louis goes to harry’s flat to break the news. writing both of those scenes involved a whole lot of tears and breaks in which i frantically paced my room and tried to get ahold of myself :’( but i’m so proud of how both of them turned out :’) evoking emotion in the reader was definitely the biggest goal for this fic and i really do think i accomplished it. 
also a note on the smut scene: pretty sure this is also the first time since my first fic that i didn’t have to tag “d/s undertones,” or something akin to it because this was genuinely the most romantic/sappiest smut i’ve ever written and yes i cried my way through writing it. there was really no other choice - both louis and harry were so relieved and happy to be where they were at that point and there was nothing else they could do but make sweet love. there was plenty of flowery paragraphs and metaphors and winded prose to help meet the atmosphere i was going for and i had a list of three words i wanted to exhibit which were: awe, bliss, and joy. i think that succeeded too :’) 
as for implementing those VOWS: aka the sappiest part!! i was just thinking about how harry knows how much louis wants to get married and have his dream wedding and how this whole fiasco completely turned the whole concept around - he wanted louis to know that the disaster wasn’t the real deal. that one day he really would get married to someone he loves and have the wedding of his dreams and that hopefully he’d be that someone. it was a promise, i suppose. 
okay epilogue time! there was really only one choice for the epilogue in my mind and that was obviously louis’ actual wedding to harry :’) i wanted to show that he truly did get what he wanted in the end and everything he deserved and obviously i had to introduce nora too! i wasn’t sure how much of the wedding i’d show but then i realized when i got to louis peeking out to where harry was standing at the altar that the best decision was not showing the actual ceremony. the whole concept of a “wedding” was the biggest theme of the story - the crux, if you will - and the whole story was about fighting for love and being strong and getting to that damn wedding (the real one, not the fake one <3) and in the end, the physical wedding itself didn’t matter because louis had reached the metaphorical wedding -- does that even make sense? anyways, the only way to end the fic for me was with that last line of him stepping into the first act. that whole running analogy of him acting in play was a big theme throughout the fic (especially in the second chapter) so it seemed fitting to bring it back one last time. 
and as harry from there’s nothing like it (nothing at all) would say: the end is just the beginning. louis’ story is far from over; he stepped into the first act of the next chapter/play/whatever of his life when he walked down that aisle and i was very proud <3
and now, here’s a few of my personal favorite lines because yes i have favorite lines from every fic and i never get to talk about them:
In a month he’ll be married, yet he’s still sleeping alone.
-
Harry’s eyes close and he exhales, head tipped back as if he’s been listening to the most beautiful symphony. “Say it again,” he says roughly. 
-
“I’m always a fool when it comes to you.” 
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“You are my entire heart, Louis.”
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The love singing through Louis’ body right now is the kind of feeling they write ballads about - the kind of feeling people would kill or die just to experience even once. He can feel it vibrating in every single cell, bleeding from his heart into his arteries and veins and overtaking his mind and soul. 
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A garden filled with flowers, yes, but also filled with the most important people in both of their lives: a garden of love.*
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Steady as flowers, steady as lavender, steady as a Tomlinson - or, a Tomlinson-Styles, he supposes. 
-
Louis steps forward and into the first act. 
* just want to quickly say that family was another big theme of this fic and not just family by definition but family as in those who care about you and love you unconditionally. family as in his friends, as in the baby in his stomach, as in Harry. family is what makes it all worth it in the end :’)
OKAY i’m definitely forgetting some but those are just some bits that make me feel happy even though i’m the one who wrote them. 
this is already rambling on so long but it was so much fun to do so thank you for whoever submitted! 
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