#but that is totally why we should have more true anthology shows

[genericpuff]

no but listen, rachel has truly embodied herself as persephone because she's constantly trying to "distance herself" from her past as a medical fetish artist but then keeps the name that's affiliated with her medical fetish art-

Like, I can't believe I never noticed it before tbh, but that was the thought that hit me while I was explaining to someone on reddit what the name "used bandaid" meant and why it was weird that Rachel is STILL using it on her print cover books, even now when she just recently set up a new Facebook account with her REAL NAME and not the used_bandaid penname (I feel like this is an attempt to "legitimize" herself in the industry but idk).

But that leads me into talking about how she keeps lying about LO being her first webcomic project and that really pisses me off. And yes, this is related to the used_bandaid thing, just bear with me here.

A lot of my contempt for this is for reasons that go beyond her, I just hate the notion that people should succeed on their "first try" and that's an idea that's often sold by people like Rachel who spin these grandiose stories of how they were just "trying it out" and suddenly wham! Fame and fortune! You can achieve all this and more if you just xyz!

Literally, in every interview I've found over the past couple years, she always heavily implies that LO was her "first attempt", that she had never used Webtoons prior to LO, and that she was just "dipping her toes" into the medium. None of this is true, she's literally been drawing webcomics since the early 2000's (possibly earlier but the earliest documentation we can find is of The Doctor Pepper Show), LO wasn't even her first webcomic on the Webtoons platform (that goes to The Doctor Foxglove Show which she ended up dumping a chapter in to work on LO almost immediately after starting it on Tumblr) and as much as she'll claim she "couldn't pay anyone to look at her work", she had landed a number of gigs that got her work out there, had been printed in anthology collections, and IIRC she had even won some small local NZ awards for her comics prior to LO. Shit, there was a local beer brand that had her art on its labelling.

But it really feels like she's trying her damn hardest to hide all that, never mentioning or implying that she did anything prior to LO, that she was just a "struggling graphic artist working in retail" until LO happened.

So why keep the penname that's directly affiliated with that past identity ??

It boggles my mind, honestly, especially considering she had gone by MULTIPLE usernames back then, some of which were actually pretty sane that she could have used instead (such as Rach Alex, which she uses in her FB groups, and Rachel Royale).

I wouldn't blame her if she was trying to hide her old medical fetish stuff, whether she didn't want it affiliated with her new LO branding or if she's just embarrassed by it, I can totally empathize with that because god knows I wouldn't be all that proud to show off the cringy shit I got up to during my early days on the Internet. But if she IS embarrassed by it, you'd think the last thing she'd want to keep is the name that's directly affiliated with the thing she's embarrassed by. Almost like a certain pink protagonist who goes by the name she earned after doing the thing she doesn't want to talk about.

But if she ISN'T embarrassed by it, then why lie?

Why paint this picture that LO was a one hit wonder, that she lived on "struggle street" until she found fame and fortune on Webtoons?

Oh right. Because it's a better story.

Because it's way more romantic to be some struggling indie darling who "came from nothing" and achieved fame through one big idea. Because it looks good for the platform who's trying to attract people to their app and website on the promise that you, too, can be a success story simply because you followed the exact same perceived steps that you saw another person follow and advertise.

If you can't tell from my tone, I really fucking hate this kind of disingenuous wish fulfillment advertising. It's manipulative, it's cruel, and it sets people up with expectations far beyond their scope of reaching, both due to the luck and "being in the right place at the right time" involved at best (which is a HUGE factor in stories like these that people never talk about), or through joy-killing comparison at worst when you don't achieve worldwide fame on your first try and wonder why everyone else did (spoiler: they didn't, they just want you to think that because it makes for better headlines and it gets you using whatever product they're affiliated with.)

If Rachel doesn't want to be tied down to her past, that's fine. But it's incredibly irresponsible and flat out cruel to lie about that past existing at all because it sets a horrible precedent to those who look up to her and want what she has.

And I say all that because I've seen what happens to the people starting out who admire these creators who painted the picture that they were just successful right off the bat. It's not a fun headspace to be in, it's robbed many creators like myself and others of their joy in creating, and it's really all just a ploy to get you to spend time and money and energy on a stupid corporate phone app that profits off your emotional investment and labor. Don't fall for it. Pretending like the Act of Wrath didn't happen doesn't remove it from history.

Anyways, I was gonna leave it at that, but then I ended up doing another rabbithole deep dive through her Wayback Machine and found album art she had illustrated for NZ band PorcelainToy. Enjoy this piece of her "dark era" art that still exists without needing to use the Wayback Machine.

#sorry btw if this seems like a sequel to the post i just made i stg they're not related #this post was written at like 4 am after doing another hyperfixated deep dive #so it's literally just an unfortunate but funny coincidence that it came right after me talking about my own roots LOL #i gotta go to bed i'm getting stabbed with ink tomorrow #lore olympus critical #lo critical #antiloreolympus #anti lore olympus #Youtube

[blorbosexterminator]

Do you think the new heist with an almost totally new team would have worked? Only Sergio, Tokyo from the old team and Rio, after they rescued him. IDK about Raquel, she also felt out of place for most time. I liked Monica and Denver's arc, but they had nothing to do with the plan.

That is a really interesting question. I think it depends on what our definition of 'worked' here is. As in, the audience would have rejected it immediately, because, I think, it was never truly about the heist itself but the characters to them. Renewing the show only for them not get the characters back would have felt like a betrayel to the whole international audience, who grew attached to the characters and as a result starting seeing them as 'a true found family'. Which, if we're being completely honest, was never truly there in Part 1, sure some members grow close to each other and there were some natural comradeship, but it was only that.

But aside from that, if we're taking away the audience element and seeing 'worked' as worked on its own right, I honestly think it would. If, for example, the showrunners had played it as two-parts anthology where the only stables are the main duo El Professor and Tokyo, I think there is a chance it could have been stronger than what we got.

Like make no mistake, I love our characters. I especially love Denver and Monica and I don't at all dislike the arc we got for them. All things considered and compared to the rest of them (Nairobi and Helsinki, for example) they *at least* had a theme, a clumsy story, yes, but a story that is completely theirs and fits with them. But even in this case, it wasn't necessary, their story in part 1 wasn't unfinished. And like the rest of the banda whom I like a lot, as you say, they had nothing to do with the plan. No one except Sergio and Martín did. And Tokyo for Río's case. Which DID make the show weaker because they spent a lot of time trying to justify it both to themselves and the audience. No ond had much of a personal stake in. This "war" that they fought, they fought for what? Denver said the most truthful thing in the beginning lmfao. What did he have to do with Rio? Why should he put his family at risk for him? What was Helsinki doing there, who was eventually used only as a prob for Martín? What did Nairobi has here, couldn't she get her adrenaline in a less suicidal mannar? None of their skills was even necessary at all for this particular heist, unlike the first one, where each character was tailor-made for their role. (Even Raquel, as you say, has really been out of place a lot. It does make a mucky factor, because they would have to come up with good narrative reasons why Serquel aren't together and all. But it still remains the fact that the writers didn't know what to do with her for most of the time. Something that could be said on more characters as well)

Now, if we do imagine a La Casa de Papel: Part 2 that has the Gold Heist in focus and makes up a completely new cast. (Honestly, there could have been different ways to pick up to the second part (with still having Tokyo, as she's the literal main character lmfao) other than the Rio plot. But even if we do leave the Rio thing as it is.)

Alongside Marseille and Bogota, we get around 4 other new characters for the banda, and the show fully focuses on all of them, we get to see them in flashbacks with Andrés and Martín as they were chosen by the duo for their plan back then, people who personally believed in it, had different, diverse personal connection to the plans or to its makers, people who were in mind for its design and who are just, much better for the roles lmfao. There's really not a lack of very current and relevant effects of the Spanish colonialism/imperialism (or Europe as a whole lmfao, since part 2 flirted with the bank heist being a huge problem for the EU as a whole.)

We could have even had Rafael starting from season three. Because mind you, Rafael's conception isn't horrible in its own right, it was just badly excuted and unacceptable in the last season. But if he'd been there from the start, and we had a whole first season getting us into his head, fleshing him and his relationship with his father out, and bit by bit we got relevant history through flashbacks until he was fully accepted as a character, then gave him the 'inner spy' arc, it would have been good. We'd have characters who all truly wanted something from the plan.

Obviously, the show pretty much cared for Berlin more than all the other characters. The plan was only truly relevant to him, Martín, and Sergio. And I do think this led to some lack of internal coherence in the second part; the show was dividedly strained between that and making the rest of the banda relevant. There is a lack of, what do you call it....neatness in the second part. It just wasn't focused. It was too many scattered stories and storylines, not all relevant, in one. With a new banda, all neatly and relevantly written for the new heist, it would have been more focused, everyone made part of the whole, there would have been a focused theme that actually felt true, was developed through all the characters. It would have been fresh too—no need to bleed characters dry for more stories when they have already had their stories told. Everything else could have fresh, new, exciting, but still thematically (and better this time) related to the theme of resistance the first part set. As @spiny-norman said, the imperialism theme could have done really well being one of the most important narrative mirrors and cohesion factors to the part 1.

Lastly, I also think it might have more emotional authenticity. The second part was way too sentimental from the start, acting all like the banda had always been one big happy family where that definitely wasn't the terms we left them on at the end of part 1 lmfao. And sentimentality is the lack of emotional authenticity.

#There could have been a character that did Helsinki's role in exposing Martín's shitty treatment of his partners and all but that actually #had a reason to be there from the start #someone from Martín's own history; a man who's been in love with him a friend from back home who'd thought he had more right to be on #Martin's side of the plan than Andrés. who now thinks he has his chance to show it. a grey character who's bringing his own shit to the #table but in a much relevant way lol #there could have been more ethnically diverse characters who each had their own beef with Spain/Europe #the plot point of exposing the papers inside the bank that exposes the EU's current fuckery in other countries could have been an actual #plot point that wasn't forgotton mid season lmfao #bottomline; I think it would have detached the writers from irrelevant part 1 characters/things enough for them to tell a new focused story #but who knows! #lcdp #very interesting question anon. thank you!

[themermaidsdragon]

The Professor and the Soon-to-be Nurse

Warnings: Underage Sex, Age Difference, Teacher-Student Relationship, Oral Sex, Daddy Kink, Fluff and Smut, Forbidden Love

Summary:

Daisy was feeling so defeated...all her life she dreamed of finding love at Hogwarts and here she was in her last year of Hogwarts... single! and the cherry on top is she just found out her best friend is engaged! of course she is happy for her but she can't help but feel jealous! running off to cry in private who should comfort her but her favorite defense against the dark arts teacher Vernon Wells... or D.A.D.A for short. will they stay together even though her darling professor feels conflicted, or will daisy be left heartbroken once again?

Notes:

This is another guy added to our D&D anthology smut series. This will be the last one for now and like the rest we will update a new chapter for all the guys each weekend. With Adelia getting married in this one we left it vague enough for you to choose who she is marrying. Go read all of our other stories to choose. And again, thank you all for reading :) We love doing this and we expect to do this for quite a while especially the more guys that get introduced in our game!

Chapter 1: Is it D.A.DA or Daddy?

Daisy wakes up her 7th year feeling really down. This was her last year at Hogwarts. She was already halfway through the year, and what did she have to show for it? Yes she had good grades in all her classes, and yes, she knew what she wanted to do after school, but that wasn't it. She felt like she missed out on the relationship part.

Ughhh I mean Adelia has been with her man for like 3 years now! We are so close that she told me she lost her virginity at 16, yet here I am. Nothing. Haven’t lost my virginity and haven’t found a guy yet. I mean I have found the opportunity to sometimes, but it just never worked out. First there was Theo in the first year, but he turned out to be more like a brother. I’m sure he thought I didn’t find him attractive but that's not it. I genuinely just didn’t see him romantically. Plus, I ruined that friendship anyway, since I thought, he was lying to me about liking me because I knew he didn't like half-bloods, or so I thought. Then there was Justin in the third year, but he just was really into his studies, always wanting to just be around learning together, but I wasn't into that. I wanted to go out and explore and have fun. He was a Ravenclaw though so that makes sense. He came to me asking why it couldn’t work through and what was I supposed to say? So I was vague and just said it wouldn’t work. Then in the sixth year there was Calenhad. I just wasn’t looking for that relationship where the guy wants to act all mean and not express his true feelings and I have to fight to make him. Fuck that. Ughhhhh why are guys so complicated? Who am I kidding? Maybe I'm just being picky. I just want a solid man that will say what they want and actually want to be with me, and we both do things we want to do in life but are there for each other. Is that too much to ask?

Daisy snaps out of her thoughts when she hears her friend Adelia walk in.

“Hey Daisy!”

“Oh, hey Adelia what’s up?”

“Nothing, I just wanted to ask you a question in private.”

“Is everything okay, are you hurt? Do you need help with something?”

“Yes. No. And kindddaaa”. Adelia holds up her left hand and shows off a giant diamond ring to Daisy. “He proposed and I said yes! I know we are only 18 but when you know you know right?”

“Oh my goooooood” Daisy grabs her finger to get a closer look.

“I was wondering if you will be my maid of honor?”

“Yes yes of course I will.”

They hug and Daisy starts to feel her eyes well up and she tries to hold them back quickly. Without making eye contact she gets up and throws on clothes super-fast.

“Wow, I'm so happy for you. I ..just..need to go to the library I forgot to finish my homework for potions class…and ya I totally wanna talk about everything and all the details but igottago bye loveyou.”

Daisy rushes out of the room and heads to the only place no one will come looking for her or even find right now.

Married?! I mean come on seriously i mean i know she was always a year older than me so 18 isn't super crazy. But we aren't even out of school yet!! And don't get me wrong i'm so happy for her but I just wish I could find someone too.

Daisy couldn’t hold it back anymore; the tears fell down her face as she made her way down the hall. Daisy finally makes it to her Room of Requirement and heads in. Her room was filled with an entire land of beautiful green grass with a cottage in the center and a garden in the back. She ran into her cottage and slammed herself onto her bed. Daisy did this a lot when she was upset. This was her safe space. As she laid there crying, she heard a knock on the cottage door.

Wait. What?!

She opened the door and saw Professor Wells outside. Her Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.

“D.A.D.A” Daisy says as she wipes away her tears quickly. “How did you get in here?”

“One you know after all these years I still hate you calling me that, and second, I came in before your room shut. I saw you crying and came.”

“Well, I'm fine. It's no big deal, thanks for coming.” as she begins to close the door.

He puts his foot in the doorway, so it can’t shut with his hands in his pocket. “You always came to me when you're upset and I always had to solve them, so why hide it now.”

“.....because this isn’t something you can solve…” she says quietly.

“Well, try me. You never know. I may surprise you.” He says with a small smile.

Daisy lets him inside finally and he steps in.

“It's a nice place you got here.”

“Listen, it's where I think the best when I'm upset. Don't judge me!”

“I'm not. I’m being serious. Anyways, tell me what's going on.

Daisy suddenly lets everything out. “I’m great in school. I know what I want to be, but I missed out on the most important thing, which is finding a good relationship with a nice guy. All the guys I have tried to be with all just act like boys and don't feel mature, and I feel like I'm at a different level than everyone else maturity wise. So, all the guys just feel like dumb boys and I want a man who is going to treat me nice and be there for me. And now Adelia is getting married which is great and I'm just here still with no one and I never even have been with anyone physical even.”

Wells stands there quietly and listens till she is done talking. When she is he speaks “Well you are just a kid still.”

“Stop saying that I’M NOT A KID ANYMORE.”

Deep down he knew that. He has known her since she was 11. Now here in front of him she had blossomed into a beautiful woman now. Her breasts were larger, and her figure was way more filled out and curvy. Her sides perfect to grab onto and slam onto the bed right behind her. What was he thinking though? He was her teacher, and she was his student. This couldn’t happen, but she wasn't wrong. She wasn't a kid anymore, and she was mature now.

He moved closer to her now only a couple inches apart.

“Ugh you don't get it.” she says. She goes to turn around, but he stops her.

Daisy looked up at her professor blushing dark as he cupped her cheek “Professor I… I don’t want to get the wrong signals here but I…” she didn’t finish her sentence as she leaned in, pressing her lips against his. She was so relieved when she felt him kiss her back but soon, he pulled away “Daisy I don’t know if I should let this continue…. You’ve been my student for years I… you should be with someone your age” he said almost as if he was trying to convince himself.

Daisy frowned “Professor, if I had a problem with your age would I be kissing you right now? “She asked, a tad bit annoyed.

Vernon couldn’t help but chuckle, she was still a little bit of a spitfire even as she matured “I suppose that’s true but… Daisy I… you know I would die much sooner than you” he said, and she looked at him blankly “Not if I die first…”

Vernon snorted “God Daisy I don’t know what to do with you” he laughed resting his forehead against hers “You could always kiss me” she said to him “or maybe touch me… or both… completely up to you” she said giving him a mischievous smirk.

Vernon laughed and gave into her kissing her deeply and picked her up and laying her down on the bed kissing down her neck and began to unbutton her blouse “Its crazy how much you’ve changed…your body is so… soft” he purred nuzzling his face against her bosom and Daisy giggled “Professor, your scruff tickles” she squirmed. Vernon blushed and sat up “I… I don’t know if I can keep going if you keep calling me Professor…” he sighed feeling embarrassed “It just feels wrong…"Daisy looked at him and thought for a minute before a cat-like grin spread across her face… I know what I can call you” she whispered, her and all her friends used to call him D.A.D.A for short, it drove him nuts and they all thought it was so funny… but now she could call him something else, sitting up she crawled into his lap and ground her hips against his “You think far too much… daddy” she whispered in his ear and kissed his neck. Vernon felt his erection strain against his pants “D-Daisy that’s worse!” he blushed but Daisy kept kissing his neck “Your body seems to think otherwise…Daddy.”

Vernon once again gave in to Daisy’s antics and he pinned her down to the bed “Daddy has had enough of your teasing” he growled, and Daisy felt herself get wet as he growled into her ear… she really liked that…

He rapidly undressed her before Daisy even had time to comprehend that she was completely naked… she suddenly felt very shy and attempted to cover herself, but Vernon pinned her hands above her head “Don’t hide yourself from Daddy” he purred, kissing down her neck to her chest making daisy shiver under his touch.

His tongue gently brushed against one of her nipples making her gasp “D-daddy please…” she whimpered, and he smiled wrapping his lips around her nipple sucking it gently, he right hand crept down and began to tease her clit “D-daddy!” she gasped bucking her hips he removed his mouth from her nipple and kissed her “Shhhhh relax…” he whispered and slipped a finger inside her making her toes curl. He continued to kiss down her body as he fingered her until he reached her clit and gently began to lick it, this made Daisy practically shake under him “Professor… professor I…” suddenly she felt him slap her thigh and she yelped “It’s daddy, Daisy…you do well to remember that” he growled once more, and it nearly sent Daisy over the edge “Yes daddy… I-I’m sorry daddy” she whimpered.

He couldn’t help but grin at her submissiveness, he continued to finger her, adding a second finger and sucking on her clit “Daddy…daddy I’m gonna…” her hips began to grind into his hand.

“Cum for daddy, Daisy…. Cum for me…” he whispered and went faster

Tears pricked her eyes as she made a mess of the sheets under them.

Daisy spread her legs more and he sat up to look at her exhausted face, Daisy pulled him in close and kissed him tasting herself on his lips, wrapping her legs around his hips she pulled away “Take me… Vernon… please take me now” she gasped, calling him by his first name.

Vernon sat up and undid his belt and unzipped his pants, lining himself up at her entrance… then he froze… he couldn’t do it… he couldn’t take her… not while she was still his student “Daisy…Daisy I can’t” he frowned pulling away. Daisy sat up and looked at him cupping his cheek “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Daisy, I can’t have sex with you…not while you are still my student I just… I can’t.” He sighed, looking away feeling ashamed. Daisy smiled softly and nuzzled her cheek against his “Then let’s wait… when I come back from studying at St. Mungo's… we will come back here… and we will continue” she whispered in his ear.

Vernon blushed and pulled her in for a tight hug “Sounds like a date” he smiled kissing her.

Daisy moaned and slowly slipped out of his grasp and got on her knees so that she was eye level with his cock “for now though… I need to make sure daddy gets to cum too” she purred and took his tip into her mouth, sucking it softly at first and slowly began to take more of him into her mouth. Vernon threw his head back and gasped “Oh fuck Daisy! “He exclaimed, his hand going to grip her head. Daisy shivered feeling him throb in her mouth, it made her want to take in more of him… so she did taking him all the way down to the base sucking harder and faster “Fuck! fuck daisy I’m gonna cum!” he warned but Daisy didn’t pull away as she kept sucking until he spilled down her throat, pulling away she panted and smiled looking up at him “Did I do well daddy?”

Vernon groaned and pulled her up onto the bed and held her close as they laid back down “Very well…” he smiled and watched as she slowly fell asleep in his arms.

Vernon Wells

Daisy Walsh

#d&d #d&d oc #dungeons and dragons #harry potter #fanfic #fanfiction #harry potter smut #hogwarts legacy

[opheliaintherushes]

Just gonna pat myself on the back for totally calling that the Kid was taking revenge on everyone who stuck him in the cage.

#but don't ask me for any more educated guesses I have no idea what's happening in the foam RV room #I am NEVER fooled by a pair of sad eyes #I love that people are complaining how there are no answers #uh it's Stephen King and JJ Abrams what did you think you were getting into #but that is totally why we should have more true anthology shows #mystery in and mystery out twenty two minutes flat #if my TZ is accurate to this episode we're now in firm Little Girl Lost territory and Richard Matheson is picking up the slack #Castle Rock #spoilers

[witch-hazels-musings]

Can I request how Lisa and Sucrose would react to there long time female friend confessing romantic feelings for them? and maybe like first date ideas?

i’ve always loved you 

Warning -> SFW, fluff (kissing) 

Character X FM Reader | Anthology 

Includes:  Sucrose, Lisa

Sucrose

She’s so shocked! She honestly wonders if she really understood you? What you just said to her cannot be accurate, right? 

“Sucrose … I like you.” You state, your eyes moving from her and down to the thumb you’ve been clenching in your fist for a while now. 

“ ...w-what? Oh, you mean l-like as a friend? Well, I am quite fond of you too.” She’s clearly flustered and since she either didn’t seem to get your first confession, or was playing it off as a joke, you try again. 

“Not like that, I have feelings for you.” Reaching out to her arm you hope the connection will make the confession more clear. The color of her cheeks turn bright pink as she comes to realize what you meant, and the reaction that follows is so adorable you think you’ll die. 

The bottle in her hands slips from her grasp as she exclaims and pulls her hands to cover her mouth. The crashing bottle splatters around your feet while she takes a second to register all of these things happening at once.

“Ah! I’m s-so sorry … let me g-get something to clean it up … with …” She turns around and grabs a nearby towel but you’ve already started on the mess by the time she returns. “N-no let me get that, it was m-my mess.” Her hand extends toward the glass but you capture her fingers before they can reach. Elegantly, you pull them to your lips and give them a quick peck before letting her take control of them again. 

“It’s okay, I wouldn’t want you to get hurt.” 

She’s so flustered, how is it that someone like you can like someone as unprepared for love as her - she just cannot understand 

Her heart is pounding so hard in her chest, her mind is going a mile a minute and all she can think about how incredible you look in front of her 

She wants to reach out and touch you, but her hand is still so hot from where you kissed 

You finish cleaning up the rest of the glass before dumping it into the garbage bin. Looking down, Sucrose hasn’t moved from her crouched position and you hope your confession didn’t totally ruin the relationship you had with her. 

“Listen, I know that was sudden. I just … I don’t know,” You rub the back of your arm and squeeze the skin there. “I have liked you for so long and I really wanted to tell you … anyway if you don’t feel the same or whatever you …” “NO!” She shoots up and catches you off-guard. 

“Oh … okay…”

“Oh no, I mean … I’m sorry, I like you ... “ Clasping her fingers together and pressing them against to her legs, she avoids your gaze but bravely continues, “more than a f-friend. I like you, too.” 

Archons, she’s so cute? You can’t hold back anymore and with emboldened confidence you lean forward and press your lips against her hot cheek. She practically explodes, a huge gust of wind erupts from her and knocks several more things off the counter, papers scatter, containers shift, and unconfined specimens are lost on the wind. 

“Ah … I’m sorry.” She covers her face and you respond with giddy laughter. 

“Cute.”

You love to watch her get excited and to know she likes you back? Well, you are just over the moon 

Your first date idea is something you know she will enjoy. You want to make sure she is comfortable and so the first thing that comes to your mind is taking her on a little adventure  - somewhere she can explore, someplace to study or conduct research - if she smiles that’s all that matters to you

“Look at this!! I’ve only ever seen this species in books. I wonder if the season and weather have an impact on it’s growth cycle.” She bent close to the plant, her fingers cupping ever so gently underneath it as not to disturb its existence. She was always so generous, be it people, animals, or plants she was the kindest person you had ever met. 

“You look like you were meant to be here.” You express, taking up space at her side. 

“Really? I just really love to unearth secrets. When I finally get the answer to a question that’s been on my mind, I feel exhilarated by the accomplishment. Perhaps, I should ... adjust my excitement?” 

“I will never hold you back in your love for research, that’s why I choose this location for our date.” 

“Ah! Yes, this is a d-date. You’re right, what should … what do we do on dates?” 

“We are doing it right now.”

“Are we …?” 

“Yes, are you having fun?” You asked, tracking her gaze with the movement of your head, your question light but important. 

“Yes!” 

“Then perfect, the date is going well.” Her face shifts hues and for the thousandth time today, the word cute runs through your mind. 

Lisa

She already knows - she’s known for such a long time and is honestly impressed that you had the guts to finally tell her your true feelings 

Lisa is wildly observant, she has to be in order to stop people from slipping one too many books into their bags without following the rules of the library. So, she’s clearly picked up the different ways you act between her and some of the other people you commonly interact with 

She especially can spot the discrepancies between her, Kaeya, and Jean. When you talk to Kaeya, his flirtatious, forward jokes fall to the ground without any reaction - you might play back, if you’re feeling cheeky, but your face never shifts 

When you talk to Jean and she leans in close to you, you act as if it’s anyone on the planet, a twig will make you react more than she does - but when you are around her? You become a stuttery, fidgety mess, and if she ever makes a more pointed joke - ;) - you practically shut down 

You find her standing in front of row after row of books, her arm extended above her as she reaches to place a returned book back onto the shelf. She’s so elegant, and when she is in her element she’s the most stunning thing you’ve ever laid your eyes on. You didn’t know that someone could have such an impact on you. 

“Lisa?” You call out to her, respectful of the rules of the library. She turns and already your heart is racing. “Do you have a second?” 

“For you my dear, I have all the time in the world.” She holds the remaining books against her chest, and, even though she’s wearing her hat, you are still transfixed by the face that’s partially hidden. 

“I wanted to tell you this for a long time … is it okay if we talk here or…?” She chuckles, placing the books on one of the tables and walking toward you. The smell of dark roses pressing against your nose as she enters your space. 

“Here is perfect, cutie. What do you want to share with me, hmm?” She’s a bit taller than you so when you find yourself looking at her face it’s almost always drawn to her lips. 

“I’m sure … well, no .. I mean I know that you’re … ah how do I …” 

“Take your time.” She reaches for your hair and the closeness of her wrist to your face breaks you. 

“I like you!” You practically shout, covering your mouth in your hands at the realization of your outburst. Slipping your head further behind your fingers you hide your embarrassment from her. 

Instead of scolding you, or reminding you to be quiet, she laughs and the sound is so lovely it pulls you from your hiding place. 

“I was wondering when you were finally going to tell me your little secret.” 

“You mean, you knew?” 

“Of course I knew, I’m very observant and I can’t keep my eyes off of something so adorable, now can I?” She laughs again, her fingers sliding along your jaw and toward your chin. There she lifts your head and moves in for the kill. Her lips connect with yours and it’s electric, you wonder if she somehow sent a shock of her vision through the contact. As she pulls away, her smile is so grand you close your eyes again. 

She is honored to have your affection, and she will absolutely lord that over everyone - she has the most prized book in all the collection, if you let her explain her admiration for you - hopefully, you can handle her 

Now that she has chosen you, you want to show her experiences that will always remind her that she made the best choice. You’ve taken her to libraries and bookstores that are hidden from most people's eyes. You’ve gone on adventures to explore ancient domains and ruins in search for historic knowledge, you even traveled to Liyue to meet the ever knowledgeable consultant of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. You were greeted with warm tea and unending information.  

Now, you’ve brought her to the vast fields which surround Mondstadt, the two of you nestled under the stars each keeping the other warm. She feels so good resting against you, her back pressing firmly into your chest as she relaxes under the night sky. You can push your face into her hair and tighten your grip around her as you relish the notion that she is yours and you are hers. 

She’s shared with you her knowledge of the stars, the things she’s read in books and how impactful they are. Lisa has pointed out all the constellations to you and you’re sure that no matter how many times she shares this information you’ll never tire of hearing her voice. 

“Oh look, a shooting star. It’s customary to make a wish, so I’m told.” She presses further against you and practically squeezes out your words. 

“I don’t know what I could possibly wish for other than you.” She turns and looks into your eyes and you kiss her passionately as if hers are the only lips you will ever taste again.

#genshin impact #genshin impact X reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact fiction #genshin impact musings #lisa #genshin impact lisa #genshin lisa #lisa x reader #sucrose #sucrose x reader #genshin sucrose #genshin impact sucrose

[soundsof71]

for the album thing: born in the usa :)

I could write a book about any of Bruce’s records from Born To Run to Born In The USA. I did in fact write my grad school thesis using Nebraska as the hook: ”Vehicles of Grace: Automobile Imagery and Salvation in the works of Bruce Springsteen and Flannery O’Connor” LOL which is one million percent true. 

In fact, I bought Nebraska on my first day of class in grad school (a whole story by itself), and BITUSA came out as I was finishing my coursework two years later. It’s hard to overstate how hard this one hit, but my reaction was kind of complicated, so I’ll tell ya all about it.

the first song from this album I heard: “Dancing In The Dark”, which came out as a single before the album. Followed immediately by “Pink Cadillac”, its b-side. We played the SHIT out of that song in particular, far more than the A side, and were dumbfounded that it wasn’t on the album. 

do I own the album?: Obvs, but there’s a story. Of course. My girlfriend and I bought it on vinyl the day it came out in June (we weren’t married yet, but we’d merged our record collections the previous year LOL), then for my birthday in August, she bought me a CD player for like $800 (they were expensive as FUCK when they first came out -- and $800 was even more of a fuckton of money back in those days, especially for a couple of grad students), with one CD, Born In The USA. That one CD was more than reason enough to spend the dough on a player.

I still have that CD, along with the ticket for show where we saw Bruce on our honeymoon in England, at St. James Park in Newcastle, in June 1985. He’d just gotten married too (the first time), which is a whole ‘nother story too. Oh, and I still have the sweatshirt from that show! I'll post a picture of all this some time.

my favorite song: Wellll....here’s where it gets kinda complicated. Bruce had a notoriously hard time picking songs for the record. He’d recorded something like 50 songs for the album, and once he cut the list to 30 or so, he kept asking people he trusted to pick THEIR favorite running order. (Dave Marsh talked about this in his book Glory Days: Bruce Springsteen in the 1980s, and I haven’t heard it much discussed since then.) It’s hard to argue with the finished results, but you know what? I kinda do, still, all these years later. LOL 

My favorite song OF the album, no question, is “Shut Out The Light”. (Check my tag for this song to hear some more about it.) It was first released as the b-side to the 7 inch single of “Born In The USA” (remarkably, the third single from the record), and wouldn’t show up on CD until 1998 on the Tracks anthology. Tracks was 4 CDs in all (should probably have been 6 discs, and COULD have been 10), but I bought the whole thing for THIS.

My favorite song ON the album: “Downbound Train.”

my least favorite song: “Darlington County”. 

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: “Dancing In The Dark”. I’m not alone in this. Miami Steve famously HATED the song at first, and only came to appreciate it after years of playing it live. I still remember never more eagerly anticipating an album in my life, and never being more upset by the advance single. I was devastated.

Here’s why. Born to Run came out when I was 15. “Gotta get out while we’re young!” The romance of escape, with the last two songs, still grandly romantic, hinting at its costs. 

Darkness came out when I was 17. Narrator: “They did not escape.” LOL Ghosts, bitterness, compulsion, cursed by God. His estranged wife’s eyes “filed with hate for just being born”, while “Tonight I’ll be on that hill ‘cause I can’t stop.” 

The closest thing to hope: a whispered “Tonight my baby and me are gonna ride to the sea / and wash these sins from our hands.” I was a senior in high school and the dream was already dead. Awesome. LOL

The River came out when I was 20. The only hope is domesticity. Too bad that it’s suffocating and you’ll fuck it up. LOL Want to wash the sins from your hands? Sorry, the river is dry. “Is a dream a lie if it don’t come true / Or is it something worse./ that sends me down to the river?” Yikes!

The shows for this album were astounding. The album was soooo much darker than it first appeared, and the catharsis in the performance was rewarding, sure, but almost unbearable. You were left broken and crawling by the end of the night. In a good way. LOL 

Nebraska came out when I was 22. Murder, mental illness, ghosts, more murder, compulsion, and as a treat, a little more murder. LOL 

The one song I couldn’t stand was “Reason To Believe”, because I didn’t believe there was one, and I didn’t believe he did either. But boy did I love the album as a whole. Like I said, my grad school thesis started here, because I had too much to say about Nebraska and the sweep of Bruce’s literary roots and spiritual impulses NOT to write about it. 

(Not shockingly in retrospect, and a blessing for us all that he went through with it and is still at it, but Bruce’s therapy started here too.)

So from 1975 to 1984, things got darker and darker and darker. It was beautiful. LOL And hey, this was MY LIFE we’re talking about, too! From 15 to 24, I was listening to Born To Run, Darkness, The River, and Nebraska practically on a loop, and the more hopeful stuff was becoming less and less resonant. 

Sure, there was Rosalita and Thunder Road and Badlands, plenty of dancing and pumping fists, but I was dwelling in darkness, and living for it. On my best days, I was wounded, not even dead LOL but I barely listened to Born to Run by the end of this span. It was mostly Darkness and Nebraska. 

I couldn’t wait to hear what was coming after the highest body count in recorded history on that album. LOL I knew it wouldn’t be acoustic again, but man, he was cutting closer and closer to the bone each time out. How much farther could he possibly go?

And it was....Dancing In The Dark? What the actual FUCK? Practically fucking disco or something? WHA....? I loved dance music, especially in the 80s, but I didn’t need it from Bruce. I had that from other people. Oh well, at least the b-side was cool, so maybe the album won’t bite. LOL BUT THEN PINK CADILLAC WASN’T ON THE ALBUM. FUCK.

The album didn't bite, of course, but it took a looooong time to get over this huge dual disappointment of a chirpy disco single by an artist I barely recognized, and whom I now felt I could no longer trust to manage his own creative mission.  

My wife wrapped her head around it first (as is usually the case LOL). She dug it as the closest Bruce had yet come to putting his actual self in a song. The narrator is a writer, anyway, unlike every other song he’d ever written about jobs he never held for a single second (an observation that would form the bedrock of Springsteen on Broadway 40 years later).  

Now, I totally dig it. If you’re naughty enough, I might even post my ukulele cover of Dancing In The Dark. LOL

a song I used to like, but now don’t: None. The songs I loved, which is most of ‘em honestly, I still do. Everything about this album has gotten better with time for me, and nothing about it has gotten less so.

my favorite lyric: 

From “Shut Out The Light”: Oh mama mama mama come quick I've got the shakes and I'm gonna be sick Throw your arms around me in the cold dark night Hey now mama don't shut out the light 

From “Downbound Train” The room was dark. Our bed was empty Then I heard that long whistle whine And I dropped to my knees, hung my head, and cried

Bruce was gonna try to give me a happier record, but I was having none of it. LOL 

For the record, “Downbound Train” is my wife’s favorite track on the record by FAR, at least partly because it sounds like a band version of a song that could have followed Nebraska. I prefer Shut Out The Light because I heard the story of my own mental illness in it for the first time, but yeah, Downbound Train is amazing.

I only saw it live once at the time (in Newcastle, June 4, ‘85), but it really comes to live onstage -- true for all of Bruce of course, but this album more than any other imo.

overall rating out of 10: Then: 8. Now: 9.2.  The shows were unbelievably good (we saw three shows in three different countries on that tour) and it sold a buttload, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that after the run of Darkness - The River - Nebraska, that this was a missed opportunity at best. 

Time and distance heals all LOL and I now love it. Not more than the four before it, but more than anything since. A masterpiece, by any standard.

#bruce springsteen #born in the usa #shut out the light #dancing in the dark #nebraska #ask #essay #downbound train #darkness on the edge of town #Anonymous #youtube

[haveyouseenthis]

I’m staring to wonder...

After playing/watching Until Dawn, Man of Medan, and Little Hope, I’ve kind of got this theory going. I don’t know how well it’s going to hold up since depending on how you look at it we’re only 2-3 games into this whole mess, but so far I like how it looks.

My theory, my guess, my thought, my idea....whatever you want to call it - I think all of the antagonists in the Dark Pictures Anthology will be human, not supernatural. More specifically, each game is about humans dealing with extreme emotions and the consequences of their reactions and decisions.

Hear me out!

*spoilers*

Look at Until Dawn

There are two primary antagonists in the game: The Psycho/Josh and the wendigos.

Josh seems well-adjusted when we first meet him, which seems incredibly weird, but we quickly realize that he is far from fine. He is dealing with mental illness exacerbated by grief over the still relatively recent disappearance of his two sisters. Although it is never explicitly stated, it’s not difficult to imagine that Josh and his family at least suspect their family members are dead. Over the course of the game, we see Josh lose his grip on his sanity. With each scene he seems a little more unhinged, culminating in his exposure as The Psycho and subsequent punishment. The final time we see Josh, he has transformed into the second, are much scarier, antagonist of the series: The Wendigo.

The Wendigo, we learn, are born of a curse. They are humans who turned to eating human flesh to stay alive and consequently were possessed by the spirit of a wendigo. They are strong and deadly, a nearly perfect killer and a great horror movie monster.

But Tek, you say. The wendigos are supernatural monsters! You said everything will be about people.

It is.

Yes, the wendigos become the main threat of the game, but they only exist because of people. As a consequence of truly desperate situations, people made the choice that turned them into monsters. Similarly, Josh, driven to extremes by his anger, chose to put in place a plan to endanger his friends. While he could not have known the full extent of what would happen that night, Josh was the spark that lit the flame of their (potential) demise.

Until Dawn, at it’s core, is about what happens when people are left with nothing but desperation and despair.

Okay fine, you don’t believe me still. I get it; I do. Until Dawn isn’t the best example with it’s supernatural monsters. But what about Man of Medan?

If you’ve played Man of Medan, then you know that there was nothing supernatural happening on that ship - except maybe the fact that it was somehow still floating after nearly a century. The cargo is to blame for everything. Whatever the concoction was, it was literally scaring people to death. That is, if someone else didn’t get scared and kill you first.

The pirates, however, start us off. As far as antagonists go, they are menacing, but nothing compared to the mystery we saw in the prologue. You feel as if you’re biding your time until the real threat arrives.

And when it does, you’re already in the thick of it. You’ve seen each character make decisions that can potentially threaten themselves and those around them. Before you even reach the ship, you’ve been introduced to the idea of people as the antagonists of the game. The question then becomes how do these new antagonists fit in with what you already saw?

Very well, it turns out. The gas plays with the mind, causing the characters, both playable and pirate, to go mad with fear. And here is where we hit upon the core of the game.

Man of Medan is about fear. Plain and simple. It’s a kind of fear that plays with the mind and turns people into their own worst enemies. Depending on how you played the game, fear could’ve made you fall to your death or kill someone you love. Fear could’ve caused a pirate to kill you. Fear is the name of the game here. Extreme fear and what it makes people do.

So where does Little Hope fit I can hear you asking. I’d be happy to tell you.

Like Medan, how emotions play with the mind is at the center of Little Hope. Say what you will about the ending - I thought it was good - but every monster in the game springs from the mind of one man. The horror was connected to trauma and grief. Each demon that chased them down was representative of how Anthony’s family died. The unthinkable events of real life made tangible horror. The ‘monster’ hunting Anthony down is his survivor’s guilt.

But even if it wasn’t all in his head, the story’s antagonist is still very human. The overlapping characters of Reverend and Mayor Carver show the destruction one man can bring. Each is responsible for the destruction of their own towns. Reverend Carver, especially, takes on characteristics of the ‘monsters’ in Anthony’s life. The connection with his namesake is obvious, but he also represents Anthony’s conflicted feelings as to Megan’s guilt. I doubt that the demon we see Megan talking to before the fire is real. I think, more likely, it is a representation of the ambiguity of Megan’s guilt and intentions. Despite his anger, Anthony cannot ever bring himself to allow for Megan’s total guilt. If she set the fire on purpose, which I personally doubt, then Anthony, on some level, concludes she must have been manipulated. In 1972 it’s the demon. In 1632, it’s Reverend Carver. Reverend Carver also has obvious connections to the priest Reverend Carter from Anthony’s own time, mainly his obsession with the occult. While it’s not quite clear why Carter was fascinated, we’re given the explanation that Carver was trying to recover his wife. To be honest, I’m not sure what Carter’s occult fascination has to do with him being an antagonist, but I do think it’s important to establishing a connection between him and the other reverend. This connection is exemplified in their connection to Megan. To be frank, I think the priest was molesting Megan. I think that’s why her behavior was poor. I think that’s why her grades started slipping. I think that’s why she acted strange and closed off. She wasn’t possessed by some supernatural demon, she was dealing with her own trauma.

It should also be noted that the supplementary townspeople do not have faces, making them appear monstrous and alien. I’m sure this is an echo of what Anthony felt after initially taking the blame for the fire.

Finally, with the exception of Anthony, the characters are exceptionally unlikable. Were you to try and play them in character, you would likely succeed in driving a wedge between the group members. I note this because the game rewards you for not being antagonistic towards your group mates. It’s a small detail, but one that I think reinforces the idea that people are the real things to be feared in these games.

All this to say, Little Hope is about dealing with grief and trauma, how it effects the mind, how it eats away at you until it is the thing that chases you in the dark.

With only a couple games out, I have no idea whether this theory will hold true or not. And really, how fitting for a game based around choices. Of course the choices people make under pressure can become the most threatening thing around us. Still, regardless of whether this theory holds true, I just hope they continue to tell good stories.

I do have a couple guessed for House of Ashes though. If my theory holds, I think there’s a chance the antagonist will either be some sort of religious cult, enemy guerillas or soldiers, or perhaps even a double agent within your own group. Personally, I would love to see something with the last one, maybe even in combination with the first. Maybe the statue that we see is some underground temple that has been disturbed and this group sent someone to stop whatever is being done around it. I don’t know.

But whatever the story, I think the monster will be human.

#until dawn #man of medan #little hope #dark pictures anthology

[montagnarde1793]

Ribbons of Scarlet: A predictably terrible novel on the French Revolution (part 2)

In case you were wondering, that’s not actually the novel’s subtitle, which is really “A Novel of the French Revolution’s Women.” But like, only the famous ones. Ok, I’m done. Moving on...

Parts 1, 3, 4 and 5.

Structural Issues

 While the choice of characters was a red flag for me (and not in a good way), choosing to structure the book the way they did was a mistake.

 This is true for a number of reasons. (I’m sorry, btw, for all the comparisons to Marge Piercy’s novel, but the shared conceit kind of made it inevitable.) Piercy’s characters also only got an average of 80 pages each (though as the typeset was denser, they arguably had a little bit more space), but since the POVs were interspersed, they played off each other much more naturally and allowed the characters the time to develop. Even there it could feel underdeveloped, but here it seems like they’re rushing the undeserved character development so they have some kind of complete arc for each character before the next part starts.

Some chapters are clumsier at this than others. The absolute worst is Pauline Léon’s, which is unsurprising for a number of reasons, but notably because she has the fewest pages of anyone except Charlotte Corday, who doesn’t really get an arc: she shows up in the plot already wanting to assassinate Marat; she succeeds; she doesn’t regret her decision; she’s tried and executed. That’s it.

 This choice also means that the main strength of this type of anthology goes largely untapped: namely, that we get different POVs on the same events. Since each protagonist is associated with a different period in time, we can only ever get their point of view on previous events through awkward flashbacks.

 It probably also accounts for one of the worst, most artificial and amateurish aspects of the book: the way in any given section the other six point of view characters are shoehorned into the narrative, whether it makes any sense or not. The protagonists of the different sections have to have some (highly improbable) relationship with one another or be reflecting on each other’s lives in the most ham-fisted, author-soapbox way possible. We’ll circle back to that last part in a bit.

 Possibly the most ludicrous example of this is Manon Roland’s inexplicable decision to take a random trip to Caen in mid to late August 1792 just so the author can have her run into Charlotte Corday. Like, do I even need to explain how little sense this makes? Apparently so. Look, first of all, going from Paris to Caen was not a trivial trip in the 18th century. Today you could make a day-trip of it and not be missed. It’s about 2 hours each way in the TGV. But in the 18th century, you’re looking at more like 2 days each way, minimum. Not the sort of trip you tend to make without an ostensible reason. Does Manon Roland have one, even as written? No, she does not. She’s going to Caen to flee the temptation of François Buzot’s advances. Which, ok, internal motivation for leaving Paris, but they don’t bother to give her a pretext. How is she going to explain to her husband her random absence of at least 4 days (not to mention the expense)? And why Caen (other than the external reason of the author’s wanting her to come across Corday)? She has no connections there. Does the author even know that the main person Manon Roland knows from the region is Buzot and that it’s therefore the last place she should flee to stop thinking about him? And she’s supposed to be a savvy politician: does she not care about the optics, as the interim Minister of the Interior’s wife, of fleeing in the opposite direction as the Austro-Prussian troops are advancing on Paris?

 And I know what you’re thinking: I’m overthinking this. This wasn’t a book designed for specialists. But I think a reader can tell when a world they’re reading about doesn’t feel fully fleshed-out. In that sense, it’s less about accuracy than it is about how flat and artificial a reading experience it makes for. One of the most valuable things I was taught in school was that when making a presentation, you should always know more than you intend to say. I think the same goes for fiction: you should know more about the setting and the characters than appears on the page. In this book I consistently have the impression that the authors know less.

 Moreover, the authors claim to have been striving for maximum consolidation of characters in order to reduce confusion, but it ends up coming across as both artificial and condescending. Trust your readers to be smart enough to work through their confusion. Otherwise you make it feel like there were a total of about 20 people in Paris during the Revolution, which, again, makes the setting feel completely artificial.

 While I’m not sure anything but better research and writing could have salvaged it, this book would have already been 1000% better if the characters met or thought about each other only when it would actually make sense for them to do so and the narratives were interwoven.

  The Authors are Desperate to Make Sure You Feel the Way They Want You to about Key Figures. They Also Think You’re Stupid

 Don’t get me wrong. I’m not accusing them of supposing their readers to be ignorant about the French Revolution. You should always assume your reader to be ignorant of what you’re going to tell them. Ignorant, but intelligent. That’s the key. The problem is that the authors don’t trust their audience.

 So we also get characters doing things like giving you a who’s who of the most famous (and only the most famous) authors, artists and activists of the time whether it makes sense for them to do so or not, like this is a textbook and we’ve got to make sure the reader is informed of the existence of all these figures (or maybe give them the chance to pat themselves on the back if they’ve already heard of some of them).

 Or my least favorite French Revolution trope: having Robespierre ominously show up in 1789 to start plotting the “Terror” (here they have him spouting the apocryphal* quote “pity is treason” to an audience of Sophie de Grouchy, Condorcet and the Sainte-Amaranthe family sometime in May or June 1789) (p. 89).

 *Presumably, it’s a corruption of declarations such as the one in his 5 November 1789 response to Louvet’s denunciation that “La sensibilité qui gémit presque exclusivement pour les ennemis de la liberté m’est suspecte.” (“I find the sensitivity that groans almost exclusively for the enemies of liberty suspect.”) or the one in his second speech on the judgment of Louis XVI of 28 December 1792: “la sensibilité qui sacrifie l’innocence au crime est une sensibilité cruelle ; la clémence qui compose avec la tyrannie est barbare” (“sensitivity that sacrifices innocence to crime is a cruel sensivity; clemency that compromises with tyranny is barbaric”).

 Again, we see the same need for oversimplification. Robespierre is, as one of the authors’ notes puts it, one of the “dangerous men” (back matter, p. 18) that should have been prevented from ever having power so he’s not allowed to ever do or say anything sympathetic. (And yeah, I know, death of the author and all that, I shouldn’t count the authors’ notes, but they really only serve as explicit confirmation of what could be pretty transparently inferred from the text and this way no one can accuse me of reading things into it that aren’t there.)

Because of this, even real quotes are cited out of context to the same end: when Robespierre says “pity is treason” in 1789, Condorcet says his bit from the Chronique de Paris article from April 1792 to his wife — you know the one, about Robespierre’s being admired by women because he’s basically a cult leader (p. 90). There’s no reason to think Condorcet had any particular enmity toward Robespierre (or even that Robespierre would have been on his radar) just after the opening of the Estates-General, though certainly, contrary to what is portrayed here, Condorcet was not a democrat in 1789 and Robespierre was. But again, historical figures we’re not supposed to like must be set up early and often as stock villains — otherwise you run the risk of your readers thinking for themselves, I guess. Also the Chronique de Paris quote (which is from an unsigned article generally attributed to Condorcet) is pretty damn misogynistic, which given the book’s stated main theme, you would think would be addressed in some way, but nope!

 Conversely, figures the authors like are liked by the characters — or they are at least forced to begrudgingly recognize their merit — whether it makes sense or not. One of the things Manon Roland is made to number among the things going “wrong” in August 1792 is “the hero Lafayette[’s being] forced into exile” (p. 261) and while it is the author of a different section who is a self-proclaimed La Fayette stan (thanks to Hamilton, of all things…) I think it’s fair to say from his portrayal in all the sections that we’re meant to admire him. But here’s the thing. I don’t really care what you think about La Fayette. That’s not the question. To Manon Roland in August 1792, La Fayette was a traitor who attempted to march his army against the Legislative Assembly and all her friends and allies in said Assembly voted to indict him. If you’re writing from her point of view, it should reflect that.

 Likewise, they have Pauline Léon describe Olympe de Gouges like this in July of 1793: “A defender of women, of slaves, I wish I could have admired her, but having aligned herself to my enemies, I could look at her no other way.” (p. 353). Olympe de Gouges is far better known now than she ever was in her lifetime, so making sure every character has an opinion on her is, once again, pretty artificial, but even assuming Pauline Léon had heard of her, Olympe de Gouges’s brand of feminism was an elitist one that excluded women like Pauline Léon and her abolitionism went out the window when the slaves actually started to rise up, so Pauline Léon actually would have had reason to dislike her beyond the logic of ‘you’re with me or you’re my enemy’ (there is a quote where she’s made to think precisely that, but I can’t seem to find it now — or maybe it was Reine Audu; they’re characterized pretty similarly in that respect). Likewise, Pauline Léon is made to disapprove of Condorcet or the Rolands because they don’t “[get] things done,” not because of any actual ideological disagreement (p. 349).

Probably the worst bit of condescension comes once again from Manon Roland’s section, where she tells a fellow spectator in the gallery of the Convention, “‘Don’t bother trying to tell the different assemblies and conventions apart,’” which is pretty transparently just the authors directly talking (down) to the reader rather than a conversation people who were living through events (and invested enough to be attending the Convention) would plausibly have had.

If it sounds like I’m being particularly harsh on the Manon Roland section, btw, I actually think it’s one of the less poorly done, at least in terms of rendering an historical figure’s mentality, most likely because unlike for some of the other figures, we have her memoirs and correspondence. It helps that the figures she’s supposed to hate line up with the figures the authors want us to hate as well. She saw herself as a reasonable republican and her Montagnard enemies as demagogues and that’s also clearly the authors’ assessment of the situation, so there’s less of the strange cognitive dissonance you get in some of the other chapters where even what is supposedly characters’ own POV frames them as wrong.

Stay tuned for style issues and reflections on what it means to “write what you want to know”!

#en anglais #French Revolution #Révolution française

[the-desolated-quill]

The Mandalorian Represents Everything I Hate About Disney - Quill’s Scribbles

This post contains spoilers for the first two episodes, if you care about that sort of thing.

Yes, after four months of wallowing in a depressive funk, your lord and saviour the Desolated Quill has returned to (hopefully) start posting semi-regularly again. And what better way to mark my return than by kicking my favourite dead horse Disney.

So what have you been doing since this coronavirus epidemic started? I for one have been spending most of the time trying and failing to persuade my mother not to get a Disney+ subscription. The rise of streaming TV services represent the very height of greed and stupidity within the film and television industry. See it’s not enough for these studios to share their profits with the likes of Netflix and Amazon. Rampant capitalism dictates that they must have every conceivable penny imaginable, hence why we’re seeing the slow gating off of content and the emergence of new streaming platforms like Disney+, Starzplay, DC Universe, HBO Max, Apple TV and YouTube. Yes, even Youtube has a subscription service now. It’s like that episode of Oprah Winfrey. You get a streaming service, you get a streaming service, you get a streaming service, EVERYBODY gets a streaming service! Except the problem is that the reason why Netflix and Amazon took off was because it was convenient to get all of our entertainment from one location. Now with content spread out across multiple platforms, customers are having to pick and choose who to subscribe to as only the very rich can afford to subscribe to everyone. It’s ostensibly a televisual arms race coupled with classism. Make no mistake, the motivation behind the rise of streaming services is not motivated by customer satisfaction nor artistic merit, but rather corporate greed. And Disney is by far the worst offender. There is literally not a single reason why they couldn’t have kept their stuff on Netflix. The only reason Disney+ exists is so that they can get their grubby mitts on even more money than they already have (which is quite a lot).

So my mum got a Disney+ subscription because she never fucking listens to a single word I say and we ended up sitting down to watch the first two episodes of The Mandalorian. The new Star Wars TV spinoff created by Iron Man director Jon Favreau set in-between Return of The Jedi and The Force Awakens.

As much as I have complaints about the way Disney have handled the Star Wars license, I confess I was curious and dare I say even excited about The Mandalorian when it was first announced. I’ve gone on record to say that I didn’t want nor care about a sequel trilogy because, as far as I was concerned, Return Of The Jedi was a perfect ending to the Skywalker saga and we didn’t need to see what happened next. That’s like wondering what happens after Cinderella married Prince Charming. We don’t need to see it. They lived happily ever after. The end. The spinoffs, on the other hand, including the Anthology films and The Mandalorian, I was much more excited for because it was an opportunity to tell different kinds of stories and explore areas of the Star Wars universe we wouldn’t normally get to see in the main films. If the Star Wars franchise has to be expanded upon, I’d rather it was like this. Lets move away from the Skywalkers and the Jedi and concentrate on other stuff. So a space western set after the original trilogy depicting a lone bounty hunter trying to make ends meet after the fall of the Empire was very appealing to me.

Sadly that’s not what I got.

I’ll just be blunt. I saw the first two episodes of The Mandalorian and I didn’t like it very much. It’s not bad as such. It’s competently made. I’ve seen some behind the scenes videos and there’s clearly a lot of talented people working hard on this show. That being said, the story of The Mandalorian is... well... kind of rubbish.

So lets talk about it, shall we?

As far as I’m concerned there are three reasons why The Mandalorian doesn’t work. The first is the complete lack of tension. It’s a problem that’s plagued Star Wars since The Phantom Menace. Despite all the challenges and obstacles that are thrown at the characters, it never seems to affect them or even pose much of a threat. We saw that with Anakin Skywalker in the prequels and Rey in the sequels, and it’s the same here. The Mandalorian is this amazing dude who’s skilled and awesome and the bestest fighter ever. He can take out all these bad guys single-handedly and can do all these cool things. Except none of that is interesting. It’s boring. People like to defend Rey saying she’s no worse than Luke Skywalker, but that’s not true because, unlike Rey, Luke isn’t perfect. He struggles, he makes mistakes, and he grows and evolves over time. Rey is just this perfect woman who can do no wrong and who can pull any random superpower out of her arse for the sake of plot convenience. It’s just bad writing. While The Mandalorian never gets quite as bad as that, there does seem to be this obsession with making this awesome, cool dude, but that ends up coming at the cost of any tension or threat the story could have. 

In the first episode, we see his bounty explore his ship. This could have been an opportunity to create some tension. Maybe he could try and sabotage the ship. Or try to escape. Complicate matters for the Mandalorian. But no. The Mandalorian knew what the guy was doing and instantly recaptures him. Same goes for a scene later on when the Mandalorian and some killer robot has to fight a whole army of mercenaries. How are they going to get out of this? Very easily it turns out. Not only do they beat them within a couple of minutes, the mercenaries are also clearly the worst shots ever. The robot is like seven foot tall and moving at the speed of frozen treacle, and yet they don’t manage to land a single hit on the guy. Where’s the suspense? Where’s the danger? By the end of the first episode, I was just bored senseless.

Which leads me to my second biggest problem. The total lack of originality. Is it really too much to ask for someone to actually come up with their own fucking ideas? Literally everything in The Mandalorian is basically nicked wholesale from other, better Star Wars films. The first two planets we visit in episode one are basically variations on Tatooine with the same architecture and everything. There’s even that eye thing that pops out of the door like in Jabba’s Palalce in Return Of The Jedi.  Then, to add insult to injury, we then end up on the actual Tatooine (or at least what I assume is the actual Tatooine. I mean there are Jawas). The Mandalorian is like this Frankenstein assembly of Star Wars memorabilia. Everything has been taken from other films when it makes no sense to do so. The Mandalorian freezes his bounties in carbonite, except that was a process specific to Cloud City. Darth Vader improvised a trap using what was at hand to try and catch Luke. He wasn’t even sure if Luke would survive the freezing process, hence why they tested it on Han Solo first. The only reason it’s here in The Mandalorian is for fanwank purposes. Same goes for the stormtroopers. Why the fuck are there stormtroopers?! Remember where we are in the Star Wars story. The Empire has fallen and the New Republic is taking over. Imperialists are going to be pretty unpopular, wouldn’t you say? So why the fuck would you have stormtroopers wandering around in full armour out in the open? It makes zero sense. Even the killer robot is copied whole sale from IG-88 from Empire Strikes Back. Why don’t you come up with your own killer robot design?

Then there’s this little shit:

Yeah, I kind of knew this was coming because I’ve seen the GIFs circulating on Tumblr beforehand, which kind of ruined the ending of the first episode somewhat. But even if I didn’t know this was coming, the ‘twist’ still wouldn’t work because it’s not really a twist if you think about it. What actually happens? The Mandalorian finds the Child and it’s an eighty year old gremlin. Okay. So what? The only reason it’s ‘shocking’ is because it vaguely looks like Yoda. Other than that, who gives a shit? It doesn’t really mean anything.

Which leads me to my third biggest problem. Why should I give a shit about anything that’s going on? What are the stakes? There aren’t any. We don’t know anything about the Mandalorian and we have no reason to care about him or his job. We don’t know anything about the Child or why he’s so important. The only reason people are interested is because it reminds them of the other films. As a story in and of itself, there’s simply nothing there. I don’t know who any of these people are, what they want, why they want it and what will happen if they fail. So why should I give a shit? And nowhere is this more apparent than in the second episode. The Jawas agree to give the Mandalorian’s ship parts back if he retrieves an egg from some monster. Why do they want the egg? I don’t know. I literally have no idea. They never say. And yet that’s what the entire episode revolves around. This isn’t a story. It’s just random stuff happening. And what’s more it has nothing to do with the overall plot. You can literally cut out the entirety of episode two and it wouldn’t make the slightest bit of difference. Same is true of that annoying fuckface that keeps insisting ‘he has spoken’ (I swear by the end I wanted to kick that old git in the face, he irritated me so much). We waste the second half of the first episode watching the Mandalorian piss about with some toad/horse thing only to then make his way back to the ship on foot in episode two. So what was the fucking point of that then? Why is anything fucking happening?

And this is what perfectly sums up the problems with Star Wars under Disney’s regime. If anything The Mandalorian acts as a microcosm for everything that’s wrong with the current movies and indeed Disney as a company. These movies aren’t movies. They’re products designed to pander to a gullible fanbase’s nostalgia. The entire sequel trilogy was basically the original trilogy repackaged and resold with nothing unique or original to offer. And the reason The Rise Of Skywalker felt so unsatisfying to everyone watching was because the story was never planned. They pivoted it to whatever the focus groups enjoyed about the previous film. That’s why the whole trilogy felt so uneven and directionless. And it’s not just Star Wars. Obviously there’s the live action remakes of the Renaissance movies, now with added nods and winks to meta commentary without actually addressing actual complaints people may have had. This also extends to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. How many of these fucking movies have we had where the bad guy tries to take over the world with an Infinity Stone? Thor: The Dark World and Guardians Of The Galaxy are pretty much the exact same movie. Spider-Man: Far From Home, a film co-produced with Sony, is ostensibly a rehash of Iron Man 3, which in turn had recycled a lot of its story from Pixar’s The Incredibles, another Disney product. Even Black Panther, a movie I absolutely adore, borrows its basic plot structure from Thor: Ragnarok. Disney are so unoriginal and so lazy that they have effectively started cannibalising themselves. The Mandalorian is just the latest example of this. At least with Black Panther you had a talented filmmaker like Ryan Coogler who was able to take these borrowed elements and spin it into something more meaningful and with more emotional impact. At least there was some actual passion put into that film.

People are no doubt going to have a go at me saying I’m being too harsh and that I haven’t given The Mandalorian a fair chance. Well I’m sorry, but I’ve given it two episodes and I’m bored out of my mind. It’s a cynically produced, uninspired load of waffle. I’m not going to waste my time sitting through more episodes in the hopes that it might get good later on. That’s not how good storytelling is supposed to work and it sickens me to think that this has pretty much become the new normal for this industry.

#the mandalorian #star wars #disney+ #anti disney #quill's scribbles

[recentanimenews]

ESSAY: How Junji Ito Exaggerated Real-World Fears to Become a True Horror Master

  I love horror. In all of its forms. Stephen King books and zombie-filled video games. Anthology TV shows and comic book adaptations. Meta, irreverent, comedy-driven slashers and arthouse foreign subtitled films. It's all wonderful and it's all for me. There are many fantastic horror and horror-adjacent titles in anime. Even genres that aren't exactly horror-driven can provide some legitimate "nightmare fuel" moments from time to time. But if there's one name that most anime fans think of when they think of horror, it's Junji Ito. Oh, and it also happens to be Junji Ito's birthday! To celebrate, let's take a look at what makes this horror master's work so horrific.

For horror movie watchers that are actually affected by the content (as opposed to just being bored or whatever) experts believe the fight or flight response is activated, resulting in one of two scenarios. Around 10 percent of those watching should feel some sense of relief — causing an association between horror and positive emotions. However, some struggle to reconcile the knowledge that what they are watching is fake with the psychological aspects of horror and will have nothing but negative emotions toward the genre.

    Why the science lesson? Because I mostly fit into that 10 percent camp. I do not have any negative emotions toward horror, quite the opposite. I can watch a scary movie and laugh. The horror family is my happy place. This is not to say that I live without fear. I'm actually quite a scaredy-cat in most situations. I'm pretty germaphobic. I'm terrified of airplanes. I once called 9-1-1 because I used to live in a rather dangerous neighborhood and a weird combination of a ceiling fan and my then-toddler son's new nightlight made some unfortunately humanoid shadows on the window (we had actually had strangers come up and tap on the windows late at night before, so this wasn't totally paranoid). And yet, there have only ever been two horror offerings that genuinely scared me: Final Destination and the Junji Ito Collection.

  Final Destination might be a pretty obvious choice. You might outrun Mr. Ghostface (and the odds ever meeting him are slim in the first place) but you can't outrun death itself  (and the odds of meeting death, well). And, hey, I was pretty young when that one came out. That makes sense. Even if the over-the-top scenes aren't very likely to actually happen (death by tea kettle, anyone?) the overarching theme, that death is inescapable, is an indisputable fact.

    So what is it about Junji Ito's work that has this same effect on me? Unless we suddenly find ourselves in some weird parallel universe, I'm never going to turn into a slug girl. Peeping toms will never have multiple rows of eyes up and down their faces. But bugs are real. Peeping toms are real (remember my dumb but very justified 9-1-1 story?). And Junji Ito knows this. He feels it. And he knows that by simply adding an extra layer of macabre (or in this case, a few extra rows of eyes) he's amplifying what makes a scenario scary.

That's the other thing that sets Junji Ito's work apart from your standard horror fare — he genuinely fears his own creations. He has been very open about his personal fears in interviews, growing up scared of everything from war to bugs — very real things that incite fear in many people for a variety of reasons. But Junji Ito goes beyond everyday fears. Along with being a great big scaredy-cat himself, he's also very curious (you know what they say about cats and curiosity). The manga creator admits that his curiosity often gets away from him, causing him to find the morbidity in everyday situations.

    Junji Ito's morbid curiosity is most readily apparent in his iconic artwork. His art is messy, beautiful, disturbing, and fascinating — it's all the dark and light aspects of life rolled into one emotional package. It's body horror, not the gross kind you can't stand to look at but the intriguing kind you can't take your eyes off of — while being deeply disturbed by it the entire time, anyway. There's a reason that sharp-toothed cannibal made it as a successful supermodel, after all. In the end, that's what makes Junji Ito's work so effective, he takes real-world terror and exaggerates it. It's a perfect marriage of realistic threats and imaginative fantasies — so, there's something for everyone to be afraid of! Lots of people are scared of weirdos harassing them, imagine if your neighbor constantly interrupted your sleep every night even after you told them to stop. Now imagine that neighbor's window kept bulging out of their house, growing steadily closer to your own. (In the horror community the first time that window gets even a centimeter closer to yours is known as the, "Yo, you should move out of that house" moment.)

    Or, take "Gentle Goodbye" and its message of loss and the march of time. Everyone wants some kind of legacy. We all want to leave our mark. And most of us are not prepared to lose those that we love when the time comes. You would think having the ability to slowly say goodbye to your dead relatives over a long period of time would be a good thing. You can prepare for the inevitable. You can face death on your terms, more or less. But ultimately, the after images in "Gentle Goodbye" lose their charm. The still-living family members grow accustomed to their presence until the after images become afterthoughts. That's the real terror in this particular story, that we might be more forgettable than we hope. And that's the kind of thing Junji Ito is especially good at — getting to the core of what makes us afraid and why. And then taking that core and tugging and pulling at it until it becomes a bizarre, alternate-dimension version of what you thought you knew. Lots of people fear school violence and bullies, not so many people are worried about a weirdo kid with a love of voodoo. But again, this is what makes Souichi Tsujii such a compelling character. He taps into both real-world and otherworldly terrors in one conveniently horrifying package.

That's why I love this anthology so much. And it's why today I celebrate such an effective horror creator. Happy birthday, Junji Ito. Have yourself a big, ol' piece of haunted Spiral Cake. You've earned it.

        What’s your favorite scary movie? Let me know in the comments!

          Carolyn is the Crunchyroll Features Editor. She's also on Twitter and Instagram. Follow her maybe?

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

[johns-prince]

Ok so this is going to be a long post but I need someone to explain something to me. I'm a guy, I'm gay and recently I just started to get obsessed with The Beatles and John especially. Let's say I have a mad crush on the guy. I was pleased to hear thanks to some blogs like yours that he was an lgbtq ally, and there is a chance that the man of my life was also a bisexual ( strongly leaning on the male side if I read some of your blogs including yours ). But my adoration for the man has been ---

shattered since I've read on various Beatles forums that he was very homophobic and shit it hurts me to hear that. I know that he has beat up a guy for implying that he was gay, trashed a movie on homosexuality in front of everyone ( I think the movie was called Victim ), that he would openly mock his gay manager Brian Epstein ( bless him ), has called gay people nasty names during a 70s interview like AKOMP stated, that he made fun of a musician by kissing him then pushing him away and called - him a " faggot " and other incidents I can't think of right now. It just hurts a lot because I adore this man, I'm madly in love with him but I'm starting to believe that all this support for the our community had been nothing but a shtick for the " peace & love " propaganda he and Yoko started in the 70s. He also said in a interview w himself that " bisexuality is trendy " which makes me believe that I'm right. I am lost & disappointed & I'm turning to you guys to clarify all of this to me pls.

Well first of all, hullo! I totally understand having a mad crush on John, as well as him being The Man of My Life. 

Yes, it’s true! The Beatles in general were very ahead of their time; none of them had any real issue with homosexuals, though perhaps a bit put off at times because of their upbringing and culture and all that, but they were supportive and never understood why these people were treated so poorly. They had a gay manager, it’d be weird for them to be homophobic while treating Brian like a parental figure, loved him and adored him [even if they did tease him a bit behind his back, or even in front of him-- they teased everyone, doesn’t mean they held any ill feelings towards Brian because he was gay] and being part of the music/artsy crowd, they all had gay/bisexual friends, open or not. 

I truly believe John was bisexual, and while he never outright stated it, I believe he would have eventually directly came out if he had not been killed. 

He was moreso testing the waters though, talking about that when he was 15 he thought he’d have to go and marry off some wealthy old woman or man to continue his passion for art/literature; frequented gay bars with Harry Nilsson, and while he claimed he did it to put off the press-- we know that what he did would have the opposite effect, the press would be constantly on watch, being that there was John Lennon going about gay bars! John could be a terrible liar; even during his Hamburg days, John was described as seeming at home in bars featuring drag queens, and was told he found it stupid how the ‘’culture’’ of gay individuals in industries like music or art, the “scenes” were championed, but the people in general were treated like shit; later on John says gay people are beautiful during an interview [in the 70s I believe]; he’s quoted saying that people should be able to love anyone, that it shouldn’t matter who someone loves; back to the Hamburg era, apparently John had been caught in a drag club/transvestite bar, you know, getting frisky with one by I guess the club runner? and he was all embarrassed of course, but the man didn’t judge him; John is described as someone who was always willing to experiment, after agreeing to a threesome with someone, again back in Germany, one female and another male [though the female was between them, not sure if anything happened between John and the other male]; yes I remember reading somewhere that John did kiss another male performer, before shoving him off and responded crudely; Yoko saying how she’d ‘’teasingly’’ call John a Closeted Fag; Yoko claiming John had told her he would have slept with a man, but he hadn’t found a man beautiful and intelligent enough for him to want to bed him [lies]; Yoko claiming that John had thought about having an affair with Paul; there’s rumors about John and David Bowie; that John had let Brian jerk him off and touch him during their trip to Spain [how John claims it wasn’t fully consummated, that is, no intercourse]; John in an interview saying how he hasn’t slept with a man-- but who knows? Life begins at 40!; John saying how Yoko reminded him of a bloke in drag, and how she was basically like a best mate, but it was easier because with her he could fuck her and love her in public; how he was found holding Brian’s hand by George and Pattie and someone else, and made it a note to showcase his holding of Brian’s hand, because being homosexual was still illegal then-- and there was John, trying to show that “yeah it’s okay.”; and there’s probably much more stories about John when it came to his sexual leaning towards men, though most have probably died with close friends and lovers.

Now, I think what happens is that these people forget the context surrounding John’s life; he wasn’t born in today’s world, he was born in the 40s and raised in the 50s-- being homosexual was illegal, and taught as something shameful, wrong, sick. Even though the boys were relatively very open and ahead of their time, they still grew up in all that, and so of course they still had ignorance and “fear” of homosexuality, of being anything but the expected standard of masculinity. 

John wasn’t the only one who mocked or teased Brian about being gay-- the other boys did it too, though moreso behind his back. John only did this when he was in a very sour mood though, as he did with anyone, he’d hone in on what was considered a sore spot, or weakness of theirs, and jab at it. He’d never mean anything by it though, and would often go talk to them afterwards an try to explain that-- his roundabout way of “apologizing,” that he never meant it, he was only joking, and he might hug them. No one was really safe from John’s sharp tongue when he got into those low points, aggressive and biting. John loved Brian, absolutely did, Brian was a very important paternal figure in John’s life as John never had a good one. When Brian died it devastated all of them, especially John, because again he had lost a very close male friend, too soon or too young, they’d always leave him. John loved Brian, and if anyone tries to tell you otherwise, they’re either lying or ignorant themselves. 

Now, I think it was actually pretty important for John to tell that story about beating up Bob Wooler, and be as honest as he could about the whole thing, and owned up to his rather intolerant reaction to someone suggesting John was “a queer,” essentially [this was indeed after going off with Brian to Spain, so really everyone had been making sly comments– but that time around, John was drunk, and Drunk John is not at all sensible or cool]

“Bob had been insinuating that me and Brian had had an affair in Spain. And I must have been frightened of the fag in me to get so angry. I was out of my mind with drink - you know, when you get down to the point where you want to drink out of all the empty glasses; that drunk. And Bob was saying, ‘Come on, John, tell me about you and Brian - we all know.’ You know when you’re twenty-one, you want to be a man - if somebody had said it now I wouldn’t give a shit, but I was beating the shit out of him, hitting him with a big stick, and for the first time I thought, ‘I can kill this guy.’ I just saw it, like on a screen: if I hit him once more, that’;s going to be it. I really got shocked. That’s when I gave up violence, because all my life I’d been like that.”

- John Lennon, 1972 Anthology [x]

I think it says a lot, you know, John claiming he was afraid of the fag in him-- I mean, wouldn’t that mean that John knew a part of him was queer then? I think this was part of John confessing, though again, barely anyone caught onto it around that time. This is where I think John was projecting, and most of the ‘’homophobic’’ behavior he showcased was simply a product of internalized homophobia/biphobia. 

Also apparently John was INCREDIBLY, horribly remorseful and ashamed of what he had done to Bob-- I think he had gone to him and tried to apologize and show how sorry he was, how ashamed. 

I haven’t heard anything about John trashing the movie because of it being homosexual, so I can’t say much about that. 

So yeah, my conclusion is that a lot of what John did or said was a product of not only his upbringing/society and of internalized homophobia/biphobia. 

John grew up as a musician and individual in the “gay” scene, had many gay and bisexual friends from the industry, seemed to adore and love drag queens, was close friends with Elton Jon, David Bowie, Mick Jagger, loved and truly did look up to his manager Brian Epstein, thought it stupid gay people were treated like shite despite their contributions to the culture they all loved, thought Elvis was beautiful and was often caught commenting about it by friends, was always willing to “experiment,” his wife thought he was a bit of a closeted fag, that he would have slept with a man though he had never found one that met his expectations [liar], how his first love was Paul, that he fell for Paul’s looks like everyone else, thought Paul was the prettiest, Yoko claiming John had contemplated having an affair with Paul-- like, the list goes on. 

His support and acceptance of LGBT individuals was there long before Yoko-- so I wouldn’t really put the two in the same area, that being, yeah the whole political-era and “Peace and Love,” was brainwashing and influenced by Yoko, but not his beliefs towards the LGBT. 

Also, bisexual was seen as ‘’trendy’’ as, you see, bisexuality was actually considered a bit of a “new” thing; you were either gay or straight, even if you loved both men and women, you were considered a queer. I think that also messed with John’s already confused and frustrated view of his sexuality. And before that, it was considered a Bohemian Lifestyle-- try everything, sleep with men and women. 

I think if anything, John was possibility irritated with the fact bisexuality was considered a trend. 

I dunno, I try to remember the period and cultural context when talking about John, or anyone really, because it’s not very fair to judge them based on today’s culture and societal acceptance. It’s easy for us to judge them, not to try and understand them.

#questionsquestionsquestions #john lennon

[queer-cosette]

Coco Writes

OK, so I know I’m not always great about summarising my fics on here; I usually just post links. But here is a masterpost of all my fics!

Les Miserables

The Leader And The Cynic

Rated T

1/1 chapter; 1226 words

Summary:

A series of moments from the relationship of Enjolras and Grantaire. Because now my happiness depends on the happiness of fictional revolutionaries. Modern AU

Read on FF.net

Series - On Se Sent Comme Par Magie

The Destiny Of Cosette

Rated T

No Archive Warnings Apply

22/22 chapters; 88,475 words

Summary:

Cosette is an ordinary Parisian teenager - until one day, she stumbles across a powerful Faery being attacked by an ogre! And when she inadvertently uses magic to protect the Faery, Enjolras, she realises that she’s maybe not as normal as she thought. Enjolras invites her to attend Faery school in another dimension with him, where they become friends with three other faeries - Courfeyrac, Jehan and Éponine - and form Les Amis. But all is not well in the Magic Dimension -

What’s the deal with Grantaire, Marius, Bahorel and Combeferre - four cute wizards from another school?

What are Patron-Minette - a trio of witches - planning?

And who is Fantine, the mysterious Nymph who keeps appearing in Cosette’s dreams?

Read on AO3

The Shadow Phoenix

Rated T

No Archive Warnings Apply

26/26 chapters; 165,435 words

Summary:

Les Amis start their second year at Musain College for Faeries, and right off the bat, strange things begin happening in the Magic Dimension. Musichetta, a water Faery, arrives at the school begging for help to rescue her friends, the Piskies, and Patron-Minette have busted out of rehabilitation with the help of a strange skeletal knight - who matches Musichetta’s description of the Piskies’ kidnapper. With the help of Musichetta, Feuilly - a Wizard and new member of Les Amis -, and Professor Mabeuf, the wise new philosophy teacher, this year promises to be as exciting as the last!

Read on AO3

The Warlock Of The Flame

Rated T

Major Character Death

18/25 chapters; 122,516 words

Summary:

Cosette’s life is going great! With Lord Méchant defeated, her final year at Musain College for Faeries is going to be normal (for once); her relationship with Marius is going spectacularly (and it looks like there’s a proposal in the pipeline!); and there’s nothing to suggest that the Magical Dimension is in any danger. But then news of something horrible happening on Musichetta’s home planet reaches the ears of Les Amis - and according to Headmaster Myriel, there’s only one Warlock who could have caused it. As Cosette and her friends face off with the culprit, it becomes more and more apparent that his true nature and past are darker than any of them could have imagined...

Read on AO3

***

Total Drama

Dear Diary

Rated M

Major Character Death, Reference To Eating Disorders and Attempted/Implied Sexual Assault

9/? chapters; 27,617 words

Summary:

"Dear Diary - My teen angst bullshit now has a body count."

Heather Chandler. Gwen Duke. Lindsay McNamara. Courtney Sawyer. Together they make up the most powerful clique at Westerburg High. Most people would die to get into it.

Courtney would kill to get out of it.

Enter Duncan Dean. He has a way with women, a way with words, and a very special way with a gun.

"It's God versus my boyfriend, and God's losing..."

Read on AO3

Read on FF.net

A Little Fall Of Rain

Rated T

Major Character Death

1/1 chapter; 663 words

Summary:

In the midst of the July Uprising, Gwen Thénardier takes a bullet for long time friend Duncan Pontmercy, despite his love for Courtney and his obliviousness towards her feelings for him. Gwen as Éponine, Duncan as Marius. Based off the scene in the musical. I don't own TDI or Les Mis. Warning: Character Death.

Read on FF.net

Freak Out, Let It Go

Rated K+ (G for AO3 users)

1/1 chapter; 271 words

Summary:

Alternatively called ‘What Happens When I listen To Avril Lavigne For Three Hours Straight’. One-shot starring our favourite crazy redhead. Enjoy.

Read on FF.net

Bubblegum Bitch

Rated T

1/1 chapter; 539 words

Summary:

Heather is shiny and perfect on the outside, but on the inside she's a backstabbing user - a mess.

Read on FF.net

I Wish

Rated T

Implied Character Death

1/1 chapter; 357 words

Summary:

When Courtney doesn't show up after TDWT's finale, Duncan does some serious thinking about the past.

Read on FF.net

***

Miraculous Ladybug

mArinette

Rated T

No Archive Warnings Apply

7/8 chapters

Summary:

Marinette tells a lie. A pretty big lie. And soon one lie turns into another, and before she knows it, she's going out of her way to keep the lie going.

When Lila lies, it's sloppy. But Marinette's lie is all too believable.

At least no one else is getting hurt by her lie.

But Marinette's about to find out how hard it is to be known as the school slut.

An Easy A AU.

Read on AO3

Series - A Miraculous Musical

Cute Boys With Short Haircuts

Rated G

No Archive Warnings Apply

1/1 chapter

Summary: 

Marinette sees Adrien and Kagami kissing and jumps to conclusions. Hurt and upset, she heads up to her balcony to do the one thing that cheers her up: singing a really angsty song.

Adrien had nothing to do with the kiss. He just wants to ask Marinette out. He passes her balcony as Chat Noir and hears the most beautiful singing voice... but the song is so sad. And then he sticks around just a little too long, and catches sight of something he shouldn't have...

Read on AO3

Act One: Whalesong

Rated T

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

2/? chapters

Summary:

Marinette's family receives tragic news, and suddenly her cousin becomes her roommate. With her only possessions being a small suitcase of clothes and a bizarre hair-clip, anyone connected to María Sugrue-Dupain begins to become infected with some sort of singing virus - in which they have no choice but to sing about their problems. Ms Bustier, ever resourceful, takes the opportunity to direct the class in a production of the musical 'Heathers', and there is drama on-stage and off it.

But why does the singing virus exist at all? Why is Gabriel Agreste suddenly so interested in Adrien's schoolmates? And seriously, is Nathalie OK? The Gorilla wants to know if he should call someone. Should he call someone?

Read on AO3

Series - Let Me Be Loved

More Adventurous

Rated G

No Archive Warnings Apply

1/1 chapter

Summary:

"And it's only doubts that we're counting On fingers broken long ago. I read with every broken heart We should become more adventurous..."

As Marinette sings at a Kitty Section concert, Adrien starts to notice her in a new light. Unfortunately, he's too late, even if he's not quite sure what he's too late for.

100% inspired by 'More Adventurous' by Rilo Kiley

Read on AO3

***

Equestria Girls

Dazzlings

Rated M

Contains Major Character Death, Reference To Eating Disorders and Attempted/Implied Sexual Assault

13/13 chapters

Summary:

"Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw! Nancy Drew is onto you, Sunset."

Sunset Shimmer wished she was popular, and she became popular -

And suddenly she wished she wasn’t popular.

When Sunset is faced with a fate seemingly worse than death, mysterious new kid Flash Sentry suggests she take matters into her own hands and use drain cleaner, Ich Lüge bullets, and adult ignorance to make the world a better place.

But is his vision of a world without bullies really worth the cost?

Read on AO3

Read on FF.net

***

Original Work

Our Relationship Was A Rainbow

Rated T

No Archive Warnings Apply

1/1 chapter

Summary:

An original piece following the course of a relationship that in spite of glowing all the colours of the rainbow, ended grey and cloudy.

Read on AO3

An Anthology Of Verse, written by a traumatised (yet certified) idiot

Rated G

No Archive Warnings Apply

2/? chapters

Summary:

I asked my followers on Tumblr if they'd be interested in reading some of my original poetry if I posted it here. Four likes and a comment saying "Yes please!!" is more than good enough for me. I hope you enjoy it!

(Note: A lot of this was initially written a few years ago - or even longer. Some of it has - naturally - been edited since my initial draft, but some of it may have a different style to my more recent writing.)

(Another Note: I will be posting new poems as they come to me, or I rediscover them. I will also update tags as I go.)

Read on Ao3

#long post #Les Miserables #les mis fic #on se cent comme par magie #the destiny of cosette #the shadow phoenix #the warlock of the flame #marisette #enjoltaire #courferre #eporel #jefeuilly #jolychetta #jbm #total drama #total drama island #total drama fic #dear diary #duncney #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fic #adrienette #ladynoir #marichat #ladrien #maría sugrue-dupain #equestria girls #sunflash #sunset shimmer x flash sentry #timbertwi

[mysterylover123]

My Top 10 Halloween Episodes

mysterylover123

Happy Halloween Everyone! 

I’ve been rewatching my favorite shows’ Halloween episodes as a means to prepare for the holiday (and get ideas for things to do!) and I’ve decided to compile a list of my Top 10 favorites. These are the episodes I consider the best, the most packed with spooky goodness and Halloween surprises, of all the shows I’ve seen. Let me know if there’s one I should check out!

#10. The Simpsons “Treehouse of Horror V”

“NO TV AND NO BEER MAKE HOMER SOMETHING SOMETHING.” “GO CRAZY?” “DON’T MIND IF I DO!”

While I do wish Simpsons had stopped at Season 10 like most, I can still acknowledge its absolute mastery of the Halloween episode with this annual anthology. And like most, I can also concede that the best of the best, the creme-de-la-creme, is the 5th one: The Shinning parody of course, first and foremost, is absolutely classic and deservedly so. Having recently endured a week without power, and thus NO TV AND NO...NOT BEER BUT COFFEE...I totally get where  Homer is coming from. The other two segments, and other Halloween eps, are also strong as well. But you can’t have a proper TOP 10 HALLOWEEN EPS list without a Treehouse of Horror. So here it is!

#9. Spectacular Spider-Man The Uncertainty Principle”

“Twas the night before Halloween, and no folks were stirring, not even Green Gob...lan.”

Spidey is one of the few superheroes with both the whimsical roster of characters and the appropriately spooky rogues gallery to make for great Halloween episodes. While Spider-Man and his amazing friends in 1981 started out with it’s own Goblin Halloween ep, my nod has to go to Spectacular’s ‘Uncertainty Principle’, a suitably creepy episode featuring all the stuff you want around this holiday. The cast in whacky costumes, spooky decor, and creepy plotlines about the Green Goblin and the arrival of the Symbiote. It’s even more horrifying in hindsight when you find out what’s really going on in the series finale...but for itself, it’s a suitably spooky time. Also, Spider-Man dressed as Spider-Man for Halloween.

#8. Angel “Life of the Party”

“Some are saying it’s an even better ritual sacrifice than the one last year.”

The absolute master of the Halloween episode is uncontrovertibly the Buffy-verse. I have 3 entries on this list alone, and it was hard to resist including a forth. But for now, let’s start out with Angel’s sole incursion into the Halloween genre, an Office Party ep from their 5th season. Spoiler alert: Season 5 is about Team Angel taking over Wolfram and Hart and trying to use it for good. The Halloween party there is a big deal and Lorne is going nuts from planning it. Consequently, we get a wild ride of demon guests, LorneHulk, Team Angel doing crazy things, and whacky Halloween decor. Spike smiling and partying out like a loon is definitely worth htetheprice of admission.

#7. Friends “The One w/ the Halloween Party”

“I am a woman who spent a ton of money on this dress and wants to wear it until she is too big to fit into it.”

I had actually never seen the Friends Halloween episode until this year. I definitely enjoyed it; the cast’s costumes are funny, the various Halloween antics are adorable - especially Rachel being pushed around by candy-randy kids - and the Halloween-y atmosphere is quite convivial. Though as a comic book nerd, I must point out how completely absurd Joey’s suggestion of ‘who would win, Catwoman or Supergirl’ being Catwoman. Like, seriously? A nonpowered thief vs a freaking Kryptonian? Even people who don’t read comic books should know the answer to that one! Were people in the year 2001 really that clueless? But anyway, on a more somber note, this was apparently the first one they shot after 9/11, and ended up Lisa Kudrow’s favorite, because a stranger thanked her for making them laugh. Aw!

#6. South Park “A Nightmare on Face Time”

“Oh, and Kenny? Stay gold.”

SP has a number of Halloween episodes, but my favorite has to be this one from 2014. There’s two main plotlines and they’re both Peak Halloweeny goodness. First, there’s Randy reenacting The Shining as his new Blockbuster  video goes under due to Netflix stealing business, which is absolutely hilarious. Then there’s the boys as The Avengers, hoping to win a costume contest despite Stan having to FaceTime. This part is full of trick-or-treating goodness, with each of the costumes being perfect for the kid (WE HEAR KENNY’S VOICE! ALBEIT DISTORTED!) and the comedy of how seriously everyone takes Stan’s ipod battery dying being absolutely killer. Certainly wins the prize for Funniest Halloween Ep Ever. (Also, Kyle’s thor costume. Thor would obviously look so much cooler with that hat.)

#5. Buffy “Halloween”

“It’s come as you aren’t night!”

The second of the Buffyverse Halloween entries on the list. Not just a great Halloween ep but a great Buffy ep too, this one is absolutely rolling in seasonal riches. Pumpkin patch vamp fight! Halloween decorated Bronze! Ethan Rayne turning everyone into their costumes is such a clever gimmick, and as usual with a Buffy ep they do more with it than just that. Noblewoman!Buffy, Military!Xander and Ghost! Willow are each a treat to watch as they try something new with their lives. I’m a little annoyed by the “not like other girls” sappy Bangel ending, but otherwise, this one is just golden. (My shipper heart rejoices in the Cangel Bronze Date and Buffy being awfully flirty with Willow as well, for the record). 

#4. Parks and Rec “Halloween Surprise”

“You can’t plan your future, Leslie. You just gotta let it happen.”

Parks and Rec is another one with a plethora of great Halloween eps to  choose from (something about blonde female leads I guess). This one takes the spot for being the most substantial, plot-wise, of all four, including lots of changes in the story and a great lesson at the end - though also for having the best costumes (Rosie the  riveter Leslie! Princess Diane), the best celebration (Screening of Death canoe 4 Murder at blood Lake sounds like an absolutely delightful way to spend a Halloween) and the best ending (BEN PROPOSES TO LESILE OMG). The only thing it’s missing is April, who only cameos at the start. But she gets plenty to do in the other Halloween eps, so I’ll forgive it.

#3. Frasier “Halloween”

“I’m  Waldo. From Where’s Waldo. You know, the guy you  can’t find because he blends into the crowd.” “I don’t know, but I’d love a demonstration.”

Frasier is absolute peak sitcom comedy, especially with the Farce plotline. This one is a great, sophisticated classic, with Niles throwing a Library association ball - which means everyone must dress as a character from literature. Niles is Cyrano, Martin is Holmes, Frasier and Daphne are from the Canterbury tales, and Roz is O from the Story of O. The real conflict of the ep is “Is Roz Pregnant” and everyone mistaking who’s pregnant by whom. The  climax is Niles proposing to Daphne who he thinks is the one pregnant from an imaginary fling with Frasier. It’s funny, glib, and absolutely whacky, with some extra Halloween shenanigans to keep you occupied, like Niles’ weird old-timey theme and the parade of trick-or-treaters constantly interrupting the skits demanding candy. Definitely don’t miss this one!

#2. Gravity Falls “Summerween”

“We’re getting older, there’s not that many Halloweens left!’

There’s definitely something about supernatural shows and Halloween episodes that just creates that extra level of quality. GF is a great show all around, and this little gem of a Halloween ep is one of the best of the whole series. It’s got everything: The Summerween Trickster, the trick-or-treating, the try-hard scares and the mad dash for candy. My favorite thing about it, though, would have to be the conflict between Dipper and Mabel about what to do for Halloween. They were always debating whether it were better to grow up too soon or try to stay a kid, and this one uses Halloween to illustrate that: Dipper torn between the Grown Up party and the Kid Trick-or-Treating, and the poignant way that rings true for all of us here in the US - that day when you finally realize you’re ‘too old’ for trick-or-treating - really makes this one strong. 

Hon Mentions: The other Parks and Rec episodes; Buffy All the Way; the camptastic Smallville episode “Thirst”, the How I met Your Mother Halloweens

#1. Buffy “Fear Itself”

“Don’t taunt the fear demon!” “Why, can he hurt me?” “No, it’s just tacky.”

Like I said before, no one does Halloween like Buffy does Halloween. And this one is the best of the best, of the best. Everything you could want from a Halloween ep is right here. Pumpkin carving, check. Crazy party, check. Whacky costumes, check. Spooky real scares, check. The Gang’s costumes are a parade of awesome (ANYA AS BUNNY!) and the concept of exploring each member’s Greatest Fear is an absolute winner. I love every time a TV show tries to do a Greatest Fears episode, because it’s just a concept I get a kick out of - such a great way to explore our characters’ most primal needs! - and this is b y far the best. The atmosphere, the subject matter, the costumes, and  the writing, which is seriously killer in this episode (”Prepare to have your spines tingled and your gooses bumped by the terrifying...Fantasia.” “Maybe it’s because of all the horrificthings we’ve seen, but hippos wearing tutus just don’t unnerve me the way they used to”) all make this, in my opinion the best Halloween ep of all time.

#the simpsons #treehouse of horror #Halloween #halloween episodes #spiderman #spectacular spider man #angel #friends #the one with the halloween party #south park #buffy #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #Parks and Recreation #frasier #gravity falls #summerween #top 10

[eyreguide]

Thoughts on Jane Eyre (1961)

1961 adaptation of Jane Eyre (this is such a staged photo, there's no scene like this in the episode!)

There have been a handful of American hour long adaptations of Jane Eyre that were produced in the 40s/50s/60s for anthology television shows.  Three are generally available - one of them starred Charlton Heston as Rochester and another with Patrick MacNee (from the TV show The Avengers) as the brooding hero - and they are all interesting in their way, but there is another version that is only available to watch for free at the Paley museum in LA and NYC.  This one starred Sally Ann Howes and Zachary Scott.  It's one that I want to explore in this post because it's so interesting to me as an adaptation.  And in many ways I adore it.

I think of this post as a way for me to show that I can like Jane Eyre adaptations that change a lot of things from the book.  I'm not completely close-minded when it comes to liberties taken.  I do generally like for adaptations to be faithful, but if, in the event of time constraints, or catering to the audience, etc, there has to be some big changes, I still hope that those changes remain faithful to the story/characters/spirit of the original.  And in this TV version, I found that to be the case, which is very rare, especially with the changes they decided to make and the fact that it is only an hour long.

I'm going to list some of the changes made, and why I think they worked or why they just delighted me even if they don't exactly fit in with the story.  But first I should mention the usual with these hour long productions - Jane's childhood is always skipped, and generally the Rivers section is shortened or skipped.  I can live with that, since the main drama is with Jane and Rochester at Thornfield.  Production values are simple and no one cares to even approximate an English accent.  Oh well.  And now on to some of those liberties taken with the story:

Grace Poole as a suspicious character is immediately established

With some adaptations, Grace Poole is not a major character - but she does play a role in the plot of the novel because she is the red herring for the mysterious occurrences at Thornfield.  She gives Jane a reason to not wonder too much about who is behind the fires and attacks, even if it's unclear why Mr. Rochester doesn't get rid of Grace.  I liked that in this adaptation you see that Grace likes to drink (important to note), and also that she might like to creep about the house.  It's also great that a little bit of suspense is set up right in the beginning, because this version focuses on the romance between Jane and Rochester foremost, so that early bit of Gothic flavor is appreciated.

Jane meets Mr. Rochester in the library

Instead of a Hay Lane scene where Mr. Rochester almost runs Jane down on his horse, Jane goes to the library and Mr. Rochester startles her because he is sitting there in the gloom.  It's kind of hilarious because it is surprising for him to be there, and he's completely nonplussed by Jane and her reaction.  Sadly we don't get the poetic beauty of a fairy tale turned on it's head with Mr. Rochester riding in majestically on his horse to literally falling off, but with this scene, we get that Mr. Rochester is unsettling to Jane, he is established as morose and brooding, and just as it is in the book, the scene is not very romantic at all.

Mr. Rochester tells Jane there is a madwoman in the attic

I like this change, (and it's kind of a big one!) because it's realistic to me that Rochester would just tell Jane he has a mentally unsound "relative" up there, which is what I would think most of the servants in the house know.  It also serves to downplay Jane's naïveté when it comes to not questioning the secret Mr. Rochester is obviously keeping.  Especially when he is going to marry her, and he should share everything with her.  It's a change that makes sense.

There is a scene between Mr. Rochester, Jane and Blanche!

Alright, so Blanche is not a nice person, but in the book, we only have Jane's observations of her, and not really any dialogue between the two of them, so having a scene where Blanche is absolutely catty to Jane, and Jane gets her own back with a little zinger is the best.  Something that's not in the book, but something I totally wanted.  It went like this:

Blanche: "But governess aren't supposed to, are they Miss Eyre?  Fall in love I mean.  My Mama thought she would wield an immoral influence, so she packed her off.  Minus the tutor." Jane: "What a shame you never completed your education, Miss Ingram." Blanche: "You have a sharp tongue haven't you?  You must learn your place..." Rochester: "And your place is at the piano, my dear Blanche."

The scene also features Mr. Rochester more demanding in his wish for Jane to return to the party, and just generally seeming to prefer her company to Blanche, as Blanche is rather snippy. I have all kinds of love for this addition.  The subtext of the scene from the novel is brought out into an actual scene.

The proposal is wonderfully awkward

The proposal scene in the novel is especially fun to re-read (the first time you read it, I think you are caught up in the fact that Mr. Rochester is actually proposing now) but when you go over it a few more times, it's so clear just how much he's trying to push Jane into revealing her feelings.  And with this adaptation, you get a greater sense of that.  Mr. Rochester here, is so deliberately obtuse as he blatantly makes Jane think he is going to marry Blanche.  It's awful teasing, but funny in a way.  Especially when he makes the complete turnaround, and is all 'you're the one that I want.'  Jane's confusion is completely justified.  And the scene shifts into romantic very quickly, especially with this line of Rochester's:

"I don't ask you to love me, perhaps you know too much about me to love me now.  But I need you Jane, I need you to take my life and make it over.  The best and the worst of it.  If you will."

He's bares his soul to her, and it's beautiful.

St. John Rivers is a joke

This is not something I would generally like about the adaptation, because it is so far from the way St. John is written in the novel!  But he's so out of character in this, and so humorously unappealing, that it is funny, and he brings an unexpected lightness to the story after so much heartache.  St. John in this adaptation is rotund, balding, stuttering, over-effusive and I get the sense that when he's asking Jane to become a missionary and his wife, he's surprised that Jane actually considers it.  I mean, Jane acts like she seriously considers it, but the moment he leaves, she's like no way!  That's also hilarious to me.  I guess I like this change too, because I don't care for the character of St. John, so I'm not as attached to seeing him as he should be portrayed.  It's almost like with this change, St John's personality (in the book) matches the physicality of this adaptation's portrayal.  Someone so handsome and angelic-looking, shouldn't be so cold and dismissive.

Mr. Rochester and Jane's reunion is aggressive

Ah, the last scene!  In the novel Mr. Rochester is pretty broken down - I mean he's lost his sight, one hand, and the love of his life, so that's understandable.  And in the book his melancholy wins out over his pride.  But with this adaptation, Rochester has so much pride, he's angry that Jane's returned to him, because he feels like he doesn't have anything to offer her, and it's kind of adorable.  Jane's passive aggressive comments are also endearing to me.  Their relationship throughout the episode often featured verbal sparring, and it really comes out now.  Jane doesn't have patience for Mr. Rochester's pity party, and it's glorious.  Favorite line from Jane -

"I'm only sorry to see that you met disaster with such poor spirit."  

Me: *slow clap*

The Writing

Perhaps you may have noticed from the parts of the script I've quoted, that this adaptation takes some liberties with the original text. It's true, it absolutely does.  I think it uses very little of the dialogue from the book, but surprisingly the script is very good at capturing the tone and spirit of the novel - at least I think so.  And that makes it an interesting script for me, because something that is so changed and abridged still gives me the feels when it comes to the story.  There are a few moments in the episode that are emotionally powerful to me, where the script perfectly brings to life the romance and personality of Jane and Rochester.  There's this one from just after the fire in Rochester's room and Rochester is talking to Jane, commenting on how much good she's done for the place --

Rochester: "Joan of Arc come to raise the siege of Thornfield." Jane: "I'll do what I can sir, whatever I can." Rochester: [quietly and thoughtfully]  "I wonder if you could raise it."

Or this one after the attack on Mason, and Rochester is revealing more of his feelings to Jane --

Rochester: "Are you still my friend Jane, now that you know all this?" Jane: "I shall always be your friend, sir." Rochester: "Then I shall make one more confession.  You are my only friend."

To paraphrase Jane - who wouldn't melt at those words??  And Jane is so pessimistic about her feelings for Rochester.  This line is especially bittersweet in how it shows Jane’s lack of confidence in loving Rochester:

Jane: "I had come little by little to admit to myself that I loved him.  Though I knew if ever there was a hopeless love, it was mine for Edward Rochester."

There's also humor, as in Mr. Rochester's question when Jane returns in the end and finds him blind and lonely -

Rochester: "What brings you to Thornfield? On holiday visiting ancient monuments and ruins?"

What this adaptation manages to do astonishingly well is cut to the heart of the story and presents a dialogue that is true to the novel and the emotion, but in brevity.  For instance, instead of Mr. Rochester describing why he's not interested in Blanche during the proposal scene - in the novel he asks what love Blanche has for him and what happened when he caused the rumor to reach her that he was not rich, etc.  No, in this adaptation Rochester dismisses Blanche by calling her a "supercilious stick."  Come on, that's hilarious!  I don't know how this version can fail to delight anyone.

Conclusion

I've spent most of this post highlighting aspects of the script, but I should give lots of credit to the actors, especially Sally Ann Howes as Jane and Zachary Scott as Rochester.  Jane is "not such a rabbit" as Rochester calls her in the show, and it was refreshing to see a Jane who could hold her own verbally against Rochester.  Most adaptations struggle to show a strong Jane with an "inward fire".  I don't think Sally was the perfect Jane - there was still somewhat of a too submissive quality to her portrayal, but I think she did a creditable job and I enjoyed the touch of asperity she brought to the character.

Zachary Scott - well, I developed a great fondness for the actor because of this.  (I have since watched a bunch of his old films!)  I loved the brooding romantic quality he brought to Rochester.  He's rough, he's bitter, he's teasing, he's tender, he's almost perfect, and I found him very swoon-worthy.  And the way he would deliver some of those lines!  *fans self*  There's a moment too when Rochester abruptly moves closer to Jane and you just know he wants to kiss her, but he stops himself.  Perfection.  That exact moment of longing and restraint is the emotion I want from every Jane Eyre adaptation.  I want to say that even the soundtrack to this production is gorgeous - very romantic and pensive.

I can't believe I'm so obsessed with this version.  I can't believe it because there are so many adaptations of Jane Eyre out there, that I can own (and do), yet this one - now one of my top favorites - is unavailable!  I also feel sad that I can't share this version with everyone, because I truly feel that it would be a great introduction to the story if someone has not read it.  Err, if you don't mind TV production values from the Sixties.  And of course it would delight any fans of the novel.  All I can say is that if you have the opportunity to visit the Paley Museum, try to watch this in their library.  And if the copyright owner of the program happens to see this.... please make this for sale!!

And thank you, dear Reader, for getting through this long review! 

(Note: This is a re-post, with edits, of something I wrote on Bookish Whimsy a few years ago)

#Jane eyre #Charlotte bronte #Sally Ann howes #Zachary scott #film adaptation #literature

[johnnymundano]

Slasher Season 1: The Executioner (2016)

Directed by Craig David Wallace

Written by Aaron Martin

Music by Shawn Pierce

Country: Canada

Language: English

8 Episodes of around 46 – 53 minutes each

CAST

Katie McGrath as Sarah Bennett

Brandon Jay McLaren as Dylan Bennett

Steve Byers as Cam Henry

Patrick Garrow as Tom Winston

Dean McDermott as Iain Vaughn

Christopher Jacot as Robin Turner

Wendy Crewson as Brenda Merrit

Jessica Sipos as June Henry

Mary Walsh as Verna McBride

Enuka Okuma as Lisa Ann Follows

Erin Karpluk as Heather Peterson

Mayko Nguyen as Alison Sutherland

Rob Stewart as Alan Henry

Jefferson Brown as Trent McBride

Mark Ghanimé as Justin Faysal

Dylan Taylor as Bryan Ingram

Alysa King as Rachel Ingram

Victoria Snow as Sonja Edwards

Hannah Endicott-Douglas as Ariel Peterson

Shawn Ahmed as Sharma

Booth Savage as Ronald Edwards

Susannah Hoffman as Marjorie Travers

(Guilty Party: I took the images from IMDB because I can’t screengrab over 8 hours and besides, my dog told me to.)

Slasher: The Executioner is a Canadian TV series about, um, slashers and all that slasher stuff. Bogling about The Internet I discovered that the creator, one Aaron Martin by name, has wisely opted for an anthology format, whereby each season (two at present) is a complete storyline. Apparently there is connective tissue between each season  to engender a feel of them taking place in the same Slasher Universe; which is like the Marvel®©™ Universe but with less quips and more mom porn and severed hands. I say “apparently” because I haven’t seen the second season (Slasher: Guilty Party (2017)) I have seen the first season though and that definitely has more mom porn and severed hands than the Marvel®©™ Cinematic Universe.

Now, if you’re reading this thing which is about a TV show called Slasher, then you might think you like slasher movies, but do you like slasher movies enough to watch what is effectively a 7 hour and change slasher movie? Do you? Huh? Huh? That’s a normal working day right there. You are right to be hesitant, as that doesn’t sound like it would work, at least not as entertainment, maybe as a kind of torture. The usual slasher movie is a timidly formulaic creature, so we can characterise the average slasher movie as starting with a brief kill, then some flopping bonelessly about with a solid hour of “meet the characters”, then 40 minutes or so of mayhem, climaxing with a one on one slobberknocker. Stick to that formula for 8 episodes and you’d end up (NB: the maths is a bit loose here) with an exciting first episode, 5.5 episodes of dishwater dull soap-operatics and then an insanely violent final 1.5 episodes. That would of course be stupid, which is one of roughly a billion reasons why they didn’t ask me to make it. No, they asked Aaron Martin and the Slasher gods should be thankful that Aaron Martin knew what to do.

A nagging sense of fairness demands I should pause to note that hundreds of people were involved in the making of Slasher: The Executioner, but it’s accepted shorthand to say “Aaron Martin…” So, “Aaron Martin” made a long-ass slasher movie, but realising this was a marathon and not a sprint, structured each episode so that it worked within the larger narrative framework. It’s an approach familiar to anyone who read mainstream comics back when they had actual stories (rather than today’s unending conversations punctuated by punching; Calm down, Cochise, I’m not saying they were better back then (most of anything is shit after all), I’m just saying they were different). In effect then, for all the none old timey comics fans: in Slasher: The Executioner the uberplot chugs along while various subplots intertwine beneath it breeding red herrings, developing character and basically raising the stakes until uber and under finally intertwine in a climactic crescendo. Oh, and there is at least one kill every episode to keep your unhealthy interest piqued. Got to have those sweet, sweet kills. It is called Slasher after all, not Magic Picnic Time With The Dancing Rainbow Babies. Those dismissive of the slasher movie (Hi, mom!) often underestimate the variety of slasher movies; they aren’t all set in a holiday camp for randy morons on Prom Night one Halloween which is coincidentally, and impossibly, also Friday the 13th. No, there is also Cherry Falls (2000) and, oh, My Bloody Valentine (2009) and, er, anyway, probably some others. This type being The Small Town Terrorised by Its Past slasher, as it is more commonly known. This is the template which Slasher: The Executioner favours most. (The Internet Elves tell me Slasher: Guilty Party riffs on The Holiday Death Camp template).

Events kick off with the present day return of pleasant, newlywed young artist Sarah Bennett (née Ingram) to Waterbury, where she was born on Halloween night in 1988, when a masked killer cut her from the womb of her mother, Rachel. Rachel’s husband, Bryan, had died about ten seconds earlier from a frenzied knife-torso interaction, leaving nobody to hand out candy to the trick or treaters except the killer, The Executioner, who docilely awaited the police cradling the bloody new-born in his arms. It’s fair to say Sarah has issues with Waterbury, and as her arrival coincides with  the start of a spate of copycat Executioner killings, Waterbury has issues with Sarah. And it’s this business that occupies your eyes and ears for the bulk of the 8 episodes. I mean, that was some spoilertastic stuff back there, yeah? But get this…that was only the opening 10 minutes; there’s plenty of unspoiled stuff and, hey, maybe those first 10 minutes I just got spoil all over aren’t all as they initially appear? That is a distinct possibility. Yes it is.

What then unfolds over the televisually paced course of Slasher: The Executioner’s 8 episodes is slashtastically fun stuff. Pretty much everything you expect in a slasher movie happens, because that predictability is part of the fun of a slasher movie. Crucially, however, some stuff you don’t expect to happen in a slasher movie also happens, which is part of the fun of a good slasher movie. A good slasher movie has to both cater to and exceed expectations, and Slasher: the Executioner is a pretty good slasher movie despite its arse-numbing running time.  But then only a glutton would gulp it down one go; Slasher: The Executioner is most rewarding when taken episodically; which is kind of why they made it like that, I guess. With a gap between each episode you can ruminate and ratiocinate in an attempt to understand the motivations, unearth the clues and unmask the killer. Although, good luck with that; the identity of the killer may be easy to guess (it’s [Redacted]!) but it’s a lot less easy to back it up with clues and evidence. It’s more a case of “It’s [Redacted]” because it has to be, rather than you have been perceptive enough to amass an evidence trail suitable for a Court of Law. But then slasher maniacs rarely see the inside of a Court of Law, so going with your gut is okay in this context.

The cast though? I mean, you’re going to be spending a lot of time with these people and given the nature of the beast some of them are going to have to surprise you with who they really turn out to be. Happily, everyone in Slasher: The Executioner is far better at this acting lark than the usual cast of a slasher movie. It probably helps that unlike most slasher movies the cast is portraying adults rather than the more usual teenagers. Feeelingzzzz aside, adult life is a lot more complex than teenage life, so there’s a lot more scope for surprise behaviour wise. And adults by definition have lived longer than teenagers so they have an actual past which could, maybe, be full of misdeeds and tragedy. That kind of thing would be pretty helpful were you trying to fill about 8 hours of screentime, yeah? Yeah, it totally would. As Sarah, Katie McGrath is maybe a bit of a milksop but this, to be fair, pays off later with a major change in attitude, and also in her defence she is mostly on the backfoot as surprises and violence tend to single her out. And she certainly rallies herself with an impressively sad ferocity come the bloody climax. Brandon Jay McLaren as her life partner convinces as a man too nice to be true, but who just might come through. The killer is great and clearly having a fun time, but their performance becomes a real humdinger once the reveal hits and the pretence can be dropped (in front of the viewer at least). Lots of actors, lots of performances and all of them are lots of fun. Some are more fun than others, but saying more would splash spoil all over the place. In a town this big there might be more than one mystery, is all i’m saying.

Slasher: The Executioner is overwrought, it’s daft, it’s violent, it’s rarely dull and it successfully stretches your suspension of disbelief like so much Silly Putty. Pretty much a dreamy slasher experience all in all. Of course many a long form TV show comes a cropper when it has to deliver a definite ending. But rest easy, the end of Slasher: The Executioner doesn’t reveal everyone is dead, and, no, it wasn’t all a dream. The stakes are high ending wise; after nearly 8 hours Slasher needed to deliver a faceslap of an ending, and while the mechanics of what happen are hardly brain meltingly original, the psychological darkness of it was a bleak delight. In short the ending to Slasher: The Executioner is a TV win: it doesn’t make you wish you hadn’t bothered. As long as you came expecting a slasher, that is. The clue’s in the title after all.

#slasher #slasher: the executioner #tv #canada #horror #2016 #aaron martin #katie mcgrath #brandon jay mcclaren #2010s

[crashdevlin]

Something More- Part Eight

Author’s Note: *THERE IS NO WIFE-HATE HERE! I <3 Danneel Ackles. (it’s completely understandable how she acts)* This is a sequel to Open. READ THAT FIRST!  Something More Masterlist

Summary: Reader is a no-name actor who has been lucky enough to land a role on her favorite show and a part in an anthology of Marvel Cinematic Shorts. Her star is on the rise, but the man who’s made her his mistress isn’t the only one noticing it.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Story Warnings: Open Marriage, mistress, breakups, angst, anger, jealousy, things get REALLY bad between Jensen and y/n…

Chapter Warnings:  breakups, domestic violence (Tom is worse than an asshole in this, A REMINDER THAT THIS IS FICTION!!!! I KNOW THAT TOM IS NOT REALLY LIKE THIS AND I WISH HIM NO HARM), 18+ HERE BE SEX, DON’T READ IF YOU’RE A YOUNG’UN!!! fingering, oral (fem rec), unprotected vaginal sex

I kept waiting for my notifications to go crazy with an announcement that Tom and I were through, but it didn't happen. He was so apt to tell the world he had me, but he wouldn't tell them he'd chased me off.

I learned why on Friday. He thought he still had me.

“Hey, y/n, your boyfriend's at the gate.” One of the set assistants approached me while I was watching at the sidelines as Jensen dropped to the floor for the tenth time, the coma spell taking over Dean.

“What?”

“Tom Hiddleston is at the gate. Where do you want to meet with him?”

I bit my lip, looked at the stage, where Jensen was getting ready for another other take and started to speed walk away, the assistant following me. “Tell them I'll meet him outside makeup.”

When he walked up, I was full of anger and fear. Breaking up with him was scary enough when there was an ocean between us. The way he had snapped at me, the way he had spoken, how he'd tried to manipulate me… it was bound to be worse in person.

Tom had trimmed his beard and done his hair with sweeping curls. He was wearing that grey suit with the shiny lapels. Step one of the manipulation: Look like a dream to make me forget he’s a nightmare waiting to happen.

I tried to ignore how fucking gorgeous he looked, launching myself into the argument, and it had to be an argument, not a discussion or a conversation, because he would win any polite discourse. “Tom, what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in London.”

He stopped in front of me, tall and intimidating and gorgeous, and he ran his eyes down my body and smiled. “I had to see you. I cancelled my weekend shows, told them I had a family emergency.”

“Getting dumped isn’t an emergency, and I’m not your family.” I spat.

His smile faltered. “A broken heart is an emergency. My girlfriend making a decision she’ll regret for life is an emergency.” He reached forward and grabbed my hand. “I wouldn’t have given up control, y/n, if I’d known you would run back to a married man.”

I tried to pull my hand back, but the fingers of his other hand wrapped around my wrist, tightly, with bruising pressure. I winced. “Tom, you’re hurting me.”

“Is that not a fair turnabout, as you’ve hurt me?” He tightened his grip, yanking me forward slightly. “You need to apologize, Dear, and tell me that you take it back.” I opened my mouth to argue, but nothing came out. “Because your options, Dear, are loneliness, being a married man’s sex doll, or me. If you want a future, a life you and Nova can enjoy and be proud of, you will apologize to me and take… it… back.”

“Hey, y/n/n, you okay?” Jared’s voice pulled my attention to the right, where he was jogging across the lot.

“This is between y/n and me. Don't interfere. It's not your business.” Tom snapped, coldly, dropping my wrist.

“I'm gonna tell you why you're wrong.” Jared came to stand next to me, body angled so that he was ever so slightly in between Tom and me. “You came to my city. You came to my studio to harass my friend who doesn't want to see you. That makes it my fucking business. So, if she wants me to interfere, I'm here for that.”

Tom sneered. “You're not nearly as intimidating as you believe you are.”

“I don't need to be intimidating. I'm the guy that finishes the fight, not the one who starts it. Walk away, jackass, because I would have no problem explaining to the cops and the media why I felt the need to smash your pretty fuckin’ face… all of why I felt the need.” Tom's lip twitched as Jared spoke. “Your fans are kinda fucked up, so they might like you more when it comes out that you're a controlling dickwad, but Disney probably wouldn't be happy about you losing your ‘pristine English gentleman’ facade.”

Tom was barely containing his anger. He doesn't like being talked to like that. But Jared just kept talking, not at all minding the rage in Tom's eyes. “Leave her the fuck alone, stop stalking her at her work, tell the fuckin’ world you aren't together anymore, and go find someone who wants you to treat them like a piece of property.”

“When you realize your mistake…” Tom huffed, angrily, pointing his finger in my face. “... I do hope it’s not too late.”

As he stomped away toward the parking garage, I rubbed my wrist and watched him leave. Jared gently grabbed my hand and rolled my sleeve up, growling when he saw the handprint forming there. “I should call the fucking cops.”

“No.” I shook my head. “No, you’ve already helped so much. I just want it to be over. I gotta go get this covered up. Can you tell Rich I’ll be back in about fifteen minutes?” Jared nodded with a sigh before wrapping me in one of those life-affirming hugs. He kissed the top of my head and I rushed up the stairs into Hair and Makeup.

Trisha gave me a worried look when I asked her to put cover makeup on the rapidly-forming bruises, but I just shrugged it off, telling her it was just an overzealous stunt actor. She didn’t seem to believe me, but I stuck to my line until I was back on set. Jensen stopped mid-sentence and rushed to me. Rich called ‘cut’ and did the same.

“You okay?” Jay asked, quietly.

“Yeah.” I assured him, with a smile and a nod.

“Let me see your wrist.” Richard demanded.

“Guys, it’s okay!” I insisted, stepping back from the men crowding me. “It’s over. He’s gone. I just wanna get back to work and-”

“He hurt you.” Jay’s jaw twitched with barely-contained fury that usually only showed when he was being Dean. “And you’re just gonna let him get away with it?”

“Yes, I am!” I tugged my sleeve down over my hand as far as possible. “I’m not going to start a huge media fiasco over a few fuckin’ bruises. If I accused him… it would ruin me. His fans would drag me worse than they already do. His lawyers would destroy me. I just want it to be over. Let it be over,” I begged.

Jensen let out a shaky breath, still barely keeping in an explosion. “If I ever see him again, I’m gonna break his fuckin’ face.”

“What are you going to do when you have to go back to work for Marvel?” Rich asked.

“If I have to go back, I’ll deal with that, but… Marvel is really good about recasting trouble actors. You think they’d keep me on as Sin if I slapped one of their major stars with a domestic abuse charge?” I scoffed. “I’m not throwing away my dream just so that Tom can get what’s coming to him. It’s over. Tom and I are over. He won’t hurt me, again. Just leave it alone.”

Jay sighed. “People need to see him for who he really is, Baby Girl. Keeping quiet just gives him power.”

“He’s already got power, Jay, and my silence buys me some semblance of peace. Historically, nothing bad happens to a rich man accused of doing horrible shit. Look at Sean Penn, Alec Baldwin, Charlie Sheen, look at Kobe Bryant and Chris Brown. I don’t want to…” I took a deep breath. “It’s over.” I repeated.

“Okay. Fine. It’s over.” Jay nodded.

Except, of course, it wasn’t, because somehow TMZ got their hands on security footage from the studio lot. I was greeted by a hundred notifications, all to do with the obvious argument Tom and I had and the rough way he grabbed me, Jared coming to my rescue.

Damage control was a series of tweets saying Tom and I had a falling out, as sometimes happens, and what that video showed wasn’t as rough or violent as it seemed. I ended it by saying that Tom was a great man, a perfect gentleman who would never dream of raising a hand to a woman and that I hoped he would find happiness in the future.

Of course, that didn’t help much. I mean, it worked on Tom’s fans (who were more than happy that Tom and I were done), but everybody else? No dice. And when Taylor Swift put her two cents in, I knew it was far beyond my ability to control and the only thing I could do was lie and deny her completely true assertion.

‘Sounds like somebody’s afraid to lose her job with @marvelstudios so she’s toeing the party line. Are you afraid of retaliation if you speak out against @twhiddleston?’

“Are we going to have a problem with you and Tom?”

“No. No, sir.” I growled into my phone at the Marvel exec on my line. “I gave my statement.”

“He never hurt you?”

“No. We have no problems. Just a break-up.”

“And, in the future, you would be all right to film with him, do promotion with him?”

“Yes, sir. There was very little animosity in our split.” I lied, staring down at my blue and purple and greenish wrist. The bruises had bloomed up to cover my entire wrist, a painful version of the leather bracelet I used to wear. It made me a bit sick to lie, but if I didn’t lie there was no way in hell I was going to get to stay Sin.

“All right. Tom said the same, but I wanted to make sure. Absolutely nothing you need to tell me?”

“No, sir. Absolutely nothing.”

“Good. Keep it that way and everything’ll be fine.”

I took a deep breath. Marvel covering its ass by covering Tom’s ass. Totally expected. “I understand.”

“We’ll be in touch.”

“Yes, sir. Goodbye.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hate people gossiping about me. I hate people discussing my motivations like they have any right to speculate. I was almost excited to answer questions at MinnCon, since I knew I’d be able to put some of those questions to bed.

“I know this might be invasive but we’ve been talking about it since the video leaked. What happened with Jared and Tom?”

“Okay, so, that was a Friday, right, and on Wednesday, I had broken things off with Tom. Tom showed up on Friday morning to convince me that I was making a mistake and that I should take it back.” I swallowed at the memory of Tom demanding I take it back. “I disagreed, tried to get him to leave so I could get back to work. He took my hand in his and when I tried to pull away to leave, he stopped me with a hand on my wrist. Not violently, just holding me in place. Jared didn’t want Tom around because he knew that I broke up with Tom, so he came over to tell Tom to leave in his Texan gentleman way. But it’s not a big deal and Tom didn’t hurt me, okay?”

“Then, why were you rubbing your wrist in the video?”

“Because I was in shock that he’d even grabbed me, at all.” I lied. God, I am such a liar since I started acting. “Like I said, Tom is not the kind of man to raise his hand to a woman and the fact that he grabbed me, even such a small action like that, was shocking to me.”

The next fan asked why I left Tom. “Because…” I bit the inside of my lip and sighed. “Because Tom wanted something I couldn’t provide. I spent my whole marriage as someone’s… someone’s accessory. I lost myself in my ex-husband. I only existed in relation to Nate. It was this… toxic thing, and even though Tom is a vastly different kind of person than Nate is…” *Yeah, Nate never hurt me.* “I noticed some… fundamental similarities in my relationship with Tom and how my relationship with Nate started out. Tom is an all-in kinda guy. He’s the kinda guy that… wants you to be friends with his friends because he already knows they’re awesome. He’s the kind of guy that knows the best way to help you attain your goals and pushes you to do things the way he knows is best. He’s wise and intelligent and he needs a woman who can let herself be lost in him and I couldn’t… not after Nate.”

“What advice would you give Tom’s next girlfriend?” The next questioner asked.

I sighed. “Be prepared to lose yourself. Tom is an overwhelming force and if you’re not one to be completely swept up in him… don’t waste your time.”

“Okay,” started the next fan. “but if you were in an abusive relationship, don’t you think it is your responsibility to the next girl to warn them?”

Okay, so this fan didn’t believe me. That’s fine, a lot of people don’t, whatever. “Um, no. I don’t think it’s my responsibility. I think that’s a lot of pressure to put on someone, to make them feel like they have to report and possibly put themselves in harm’s way just to keep someone else from making the same mistake. I think… I think warning someone isn’t going to stop them, it didn’t stop me with Nathan, who I’m going to assume this question is about, and it didn’t stop his new wife.” I shook my head. “If I were ever in an abusive relationship, I would do what I could to keep myself safe. Other people’s safety is not paramount over my own and my daughter’s. I wouldn’t owe it to anyone to report. Grown folks can make their own decisions.”

The next few questions were about Tara and about coming back to the show. I excitedly spoke about it, talking about how much I’d missed Vancouver and the studio and the guys and Tara. “Now, that’s not to say that being Sinthea is, like, less important than being Tara, but Tara is just… such a great character. Some really great things were shot the week Tom and I split, some emotional awesome things and I can’t wait for you guys to see them, it’s gonna be awesome!”

“What is your favorite thing about playing Tara?”

“Oh, gosh. That’s a hard one.” I contemplated it. “It’s gotta be the guys. Like, how Tara interacts with Sam and Dean. She’s aggressively flirty with Dean and she’s got that lore-focused kinship with Sam and I think that’s a high point of Tara.”

“Have you gotten to hang with Jensen and Jared since you’ve been back in Vancouver?”

“Yeah, all the time. I missed them so much when I was out and about, so it’s kinda great to be able to just hang out in their trailers and have lunch in Craft together.”

After my panel, I got several notifications from Twitter, most saying things like ‘I think @y/l/n_y/n is trying to warn people as subtly as she can about Tom. Knowing she can't speak against him for her own safety and peace of mind, she's saying things like’ and then quotes from my panel. Because our fans are creative and bizarrely Intelligent, they caught my hints. Well, more was coming for them. My karaoke song was ‘Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)’ by Kelly Clarkson.

On Saturday, I answered the same sort of questions in the same cryptic manner and then I hung out in the green room until it was time to get ready for the SNS. I was wearing a black skirt with large white stars and a black tank top, with white strappy sandal heels, an outfit specifically bought for this SNS, this song, when hands covered my eyes. “Guess who?”

I smiled. It was obviously Jay. I could smell his cologne, even if I couldn’t recognize his voice anywhere. “Hmmm. It’s too tall to be Rob… is it Pellegrino?”

He chuckled and dropped his hands, wrapping them around my shoulders. “I love you, you goof.”

“Yeah, I’m the goof.” I turned and looked at him. He was wearing a Bad Idea Tour shirt and a Family Business Beer Co. ball cap. He looked amazing.

“You look great,” he said, eyes dragging down my body like he didn’t know exactly what I looked like under the clothes.

“Thanks. You like it?”

“Oh, yeah.” He nodded. “What are you singing?”

“It’s a surprise. Only Swain and I know.” I smirked. “But if the fans enjoyed the underhanded reference to Tom that was ‘Stronger’, they’re gonna go crazy for tonight.”

“You know, I thought you just wanted it to be over.” Jay teased, smirking at me.

“Yeah.” I nodded. “But I also don’t want him to think I’ve just let him get away with it. Somebody got all pissy when he thought I was just gonna let Tom hurt me and get away with it.”

“I’m glad you listened.”

“I wasn’t ever really planning to lay down about it, dude. Just had to cover my own ass. Repeat the same lie in the same robotic tone, give little veiled references to the relationship, make sure it’s nothing that they can actually point to that I accused him of. Don’t worry. Anyone who’s paying attention knows exactly what really happened.”

He nodded. “After the party, you should come to my hotel with me.” His words were quiet and I got a thrill from them but I shook my head.

“That’d be a bad idea.”

“You don’t trust me?” He smirked.

I shook my head. “Don’t trust myself.”

He chuckled, patting my shoulder. “I got somethin’ to show you, Baby Girl. It’s important and not somethin’ I wanna wait to share.”

My eyebrows came together, confused as to what he could possibly need to share with me. “Okay. Well, I guess… okay.” I nodded and he smiled.

When I got on stage, I was ridiculously excited. “Hey, y/n. You gonna give us some Eagles tonight?” Rob asked into the microphone.

“Nope.” I answered, succinctly.

“Ah, then, Miranda Lambert?”

“Not tonight, Rob. See, I realized that I sing a lot of the same songs. I’m repetitive, Robbie, and who wants that? So, I asked Twitter to send me their favorite upbeat breakup songs and there was one song, Mr. Benedict, one song that was just a gem. A perfect song.” I said, dramatically, channeling my inner Richard Speight Jr. “I have listened to this song, no joke, two hundred and fifty-three times since I discovered it, so I’m pulling out some pop music tonight.”

The audience exploded in whoops and hollers as Richard walked out with a ukulele, which he handed to Borja. Rich slung the strap of Borja’s bass over his head as Mike started to strum the uke. Some fans recognized the song immediately, some caught on when the drums came in. I jumped up and down to the beat, already having fun.

“Maybe I’m just crazy. Maybe I’m a fool. Maybe I don’t know how to love but, Maybe I do. Maybe you know more than me but This much is true, This little heart and brain of mine say We’re through wit’chu. And I wonder, does it blow your mind That I’m leavin’ you far behind? I wonder, does it stop your heart to know You’re not my sunshine, anymore?” I smirked as I turned to Billy and Rob. I could see Jay watching from the curtain. He obviously didn’t know the song, but he was enjoying the show. “Okay, you’re pretty. Your face is a work of art. Your smile could light up New York City after dark. Okay, you’re Coverboy pretty, Stamped with a beauty mark. But it’s such a pity, a boy so pretty With an ugly heart.”

I bounced around the stage during the bridge between verses as the audience cheered. “Maybe you’ll get married And she will kiss your feet While I give all my rides away. I won’t lose no sleep. Maybe on your honeymoon You’ll think of me. But if you don’t, won’t shed a tear. Yeah, I can guarantee. And I wonder, does it blow your mind That I’m leavin’ you far behind? I wonder, does it stop your heart to know You’re not my sunshine, anymore? Okay, you’re pretty. Your face is a work of art. Your smile could light up New York City after dark. Okay, you’re Coverboy pretty, Stamped with a beauty mark. But it’s such a pity, a boy so pretty With an ugly heart.”

When it came to the ritardando of the third chorus, when everything slowed down, I stopped bouncing and put the microphone back in the mic stand. “Okay, you’re pretty. Your face is a work of art. Your smile could probably light up London after dark.” Screams from the audience as I confirmed who I was singing about. I smirked and nodded. “Okay, you’re Coverboy pretty Stamped with a beauty mark. But it’s such a pity, a boy so pretty With an uh-oh, an uh-oh, an ugly heart. An uh-oh, an uh-oh, an ugly heart sooooo.” I grabbed the microphone and pulled it off the stand as I went to bouncing around the stage again.

“Okay, you’re pretty. Your face is a work of art. Your smile could light up New York City after dark. Okay, you’re Coverboy pretty, Stamped with a beauty mark. But it’s such a pity, a boy so pretty With an ugly heart. Okay, you’re pretty. Your face is a work of art. Your smile could light up New York City after dark. Okay, you’re Coverboy pretty, Stamped with a beauty mark. But it’s such a pity, a boy so pretty With an ugly heart.” I was out of breath by the end of the song, but ultimately happy as the fans screamed. “I love you all! Watch out for pretty boys with ugly hearts!” I waved at the audience, tossing the mic to Rich, who almost dropped it.

When I bounced off the stage, Jensen smiled brightly at me. “That’s a great song.”

“I thought so.” I smiled, taking the bottle of water he handed me.

“And it definitely sent a message.”

“Précisément.” I giggled. He smirked and wrapped me in his arms. I melted into him a little. Not too much, because people were around, but enough to feel his muscles under his marathon shirt and miss the way his skin feels. He spun me around and we listened to Swain with me leaning back against his chest, his arms wrapped around me. He squeezed me before pulling away and heading for the stairs to the stage.

I walked to the curtain, watching him greet the audience and our friends on the stage. The drumbeat that started was not one I recognized, not a song Jensen usually sang, something new. “I know your hidin’ places And I know your every move ‘Cause girl, I’ve been lonely, too. And I’ve seen a million faces. Been to a million places. But, girl, there’s no one quite like you.” He turned back to look at me, winking conspicuously before turning back to the audience. “And I’d walk through Hell and high water, Wash away with the tide. I can lose a damn war all by myself If you were on the other side. So, in the mornin’ when the rooster crows Pack your bags and get ready to go. If you’re walkin’ through Hell and high water, Please don’t do it alone. I know you feel let down, And I know you’ve been turned out. I wish I’d been there for you. So when the night time comes around And you feel like an only child, Just know I’ll be there for you. And I’d walk through Hell and high water, Wash away with the tide. I can lose a damn war all by myself If you were on the other side. So, in the mornin’ when the rooster crows Pack your bags and get ready to go. If you’re walkin’ through Hell and high water, Please don’t do it alone.”

As Billy started a guitar solo, Jensen ran backstage to grab a bottle of water. “Black Stone Cherry, a damn fine band.” He drained the bottle, quickly, smiling at me. “You likin’ it?”

“Uh-huh.” I said, a little breathless.

“Good. I’m singin’ it for you.” He kissed the top of my head and ran back out on stage. “And I’d walk through Hell and high water, Wash away with the tide. I can lose a damn war all by myself If you were on the other side. So, in the mornin’ when the rooster crows Pack your bags and get ready to go. If you’re walkin’ through Hell and high water, Please don’t do it alone. If you’re walkin’ through Hell and high water, Please don’t do it alone. Oh no!”

Jay waved to the audience, hugged Rob, blew a kiss to the fans and walked off stage. “I will never get over your fuckin’ voice, Mr. Ackles. Rockstar Jensen Ackles.”

“Fangirl y/n y/l/n.” He countered, making me laugh. “You ready to get outta here?”

I sobered, instantly. There was something so familiar about leaving the Saturday Night Special to have Clif drive us to Jensen’s hotel and my mind took me to that time before I nodded. Nothing would happen, I wouldn’t let it, but I still couldn’t help thinking about it and getting a bit tense as we rode over. I stopped at his hotel room door, not crossing the threshold. He turned to me and raised that damn eyebrow at me. “Do I have to come inside?”

He rolled his eyes. “Get your ass in here, Baby Girl.” He stomped toward the table across the room and I slipped in, closing the door behind me. When I turned back around, he was holding a stack of papers, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth. “I got served.”

I stepped closer, taking the papers in my hands. The all-too-familiar paperwork titled ‘Petition For The Dissolution of Marriage With Minor Children’ made me sad. As much as I wanted Jay, I also wanted them to work it out. I wanted Danneel to come to her senses and keep their family together, but apparently that wasn’t happening. “Oh, Jay.” I said, sadly.

He looked a bit taken aback by my reaction. “I, uh, I thought you’d be happier, kid. She’s filed. We can be together again.”

I nodded, setting the divorce papers on the dresser next to the TV. “I know, Jay, but… this is… I feel so bad for your family, for your kids, especially. They’re so young.”

“I’m not gonna love ‘em any less just because I’m not married to Danneel.”

“But I remember how confused Nova was when Nate left me.” I sighed, shaking my head. “I’m… I’m happy to be able to… but I’m sad for you. I’m sad for Danneel. I’m sad for your kids.”

“Did it break Nova?” He said it quietly, not seeming to expect an answer from me as he stepped in front of me and cupped my face in his hands. “Everything’s gonna be fine, Baby Girl. You and me, we can get through anything. We can get our families through anything. Right?” I nodded. “Then, why don’t we enjoy the good things?”

“Jay…” I looked up into his eyes, getting fuckin’ lost again, but not having to feel bad about that for the first time in months.

“Y/n/n… please.” He whispered, leaning down as I went to my tiptoes wrapping my arms around his neck as he pressed his lips to mine. His hands moved to grab the bottom of my tank top, walking me backward toward the bed as he pulled the shirt off over my head. “Fuck.” He grunted, dropping to his knees in front of me and looking up at my face with adoration as he ran his hands up the inside of my legs and under my skirt.

“Jensen, I…”

“Shh.” He shook his head, letting his right hand stay under my skirt, thumb running down my slit as he pulled his left hand around to pull down my zipper. The skirt crumpled to my feet and I was left in just my bra and panties and those strappy white sandal heels. He leaned forward, placing a kiss to the top of my thigh as he started to unbuckle the straps on my shoes. “Fuckin’ missed you.” He looked up at me as he slipped the heel off, a reverse Cinderella, before doing the same to the other leg complete with the kiss to the top of my thigh.

I smiled down at him as he set the shoes neatly to the side. “Prince Charming… with Rapunzel eyes.” I chuckled.

“I’ve seen those pictures. My eyes aren’t that big.” He smirked as he stood, taking off his hat and tossing it across the room, before reaching back and grabbing the back of his tee, quickly pulling it off and throwing it down. I took a sharp breath and swallowed thickly. “You missed me, too, didn’t ya?”

“God, yes.” I whispered, reaching behind me to unclip my bra as he slipped his feet out of his boots and unzipped his jeans. I dropped my bra to the floor and stepped forward, running my hands across his abs as his jeans puddled at his feet. I squeaked when he pushed me, unexpectedly, backward so that I bounced on the bed. He tucked his fingers in the waistband of my underwear and pulled them down my legs, until they dropped to the floor and he slotted himself with his head between my thighs. “Jay. Please. Fuck.”

“Love it when you beg.” He said, licking at the inside of my thigh, making me whine.

“Please, don’t tease.” I said, breathlessly.

“Okay, Baby Girl.” He ran his left hand up and spread my lips with his first and middle fingers, licking circles around my clit. The middle finger of his right hand sunk into me easily and he started to pump it quickly in and out of me. He waited until I was squirming on the bed before he added a second finger and started to suck my clit and the surrounding skin into his mouth, humming happily as I fell apart on his fingers.

“Holy fuck!” I whined as he climbed up my body. He pulled me into a kiss, licking at the inside of my mouth in a very similar manner to how he’d licked at my pussy. I reached down and wrapped my fingers around his cock and he grunted into my mouth. I ran my hand up and down the length of him a few times, running my thumb over the head and making him buck into my fist.

He pulled away from the kiss, dropping his head to the crook of my neck as he fucked my hand a bit. “Need you.” He grunted.

“I’m right here, Jay.” I whispered. “You got me.”

He reached down, covering my hand with his and lined himself up with my cunt, rubbing the head of his cock from my clit down to my entrance. I moved my hand from his length and grasped his upper arms, fingers of my right hand splayed across his bird tattoo, as he started to swivel his hips, pushing himself into me. “Almost forgot how fuckin’ tight you are.”

“Not tight, Jay. Strong, remember?” I clenched my inner muscles and he let out a strangled cry.

“Fuck, Baby. Gonna kill me with that.”

“Never killed you before.” I teased as he bottomed out, kissing across my shoulder as he let me adjust to his size. “Jay… please move. Please fuckin’ move.”

He pulled back just barely and started to roll his hips, pulling moans from my throat. He moved to kiss me again and I buried my hands in his hair, tangling my legs with his, raising my hips to meet his thrusts, encouraging him to go harder, to let go, to send me into that spiral I’d been desperately needing. When he finally tucked his arms under my shoulders to hold me still as he started to drill into me with abandon, my eyes rolled up and I started to make that noise. That high-pitched whining noise that only Jensen has ever been able to get out of me, the badge of sexual devastation he pinned on like a high honor.

I screamed his name as I came. I couldn’t even think about the fact that there were other people in the hotel. I couldn’t think, at all, until he’d given a few more hard thrusts and grunted into my ear as he came, too, breathing heavily. He looked down into my eyes, both of us panting and sweaty, feeling amazing. “Shit,” he whispered, dropping his forehead to rest against mine. “I forgot the condom.”

I closed my eyes and sighed. “It’s okay. I can… I can get a Plan B in the morning.”

“I’m sorry, Baby Girl. I was just… overeager.” He said, pulling out of me and dropping to the mattress, pulling me into his arms. “Though, I will say, going in you raw is probably one of the best things I’ve ever felt.” He kissed the back of my neck and sighed.

I rolled my head to the side to give him better access. “Well, maybe I can go on birth control or something. I mean, it’s not like we have to use condoms, anymore. Dee’s rules don’t count, anymore.”

“You’re right. Let’s do that,” he said, excitedly.

I chuckled at how happy he was. “Okay. Well, I’ll make an appointment, get a checkup and a prescription for some sort of birth control.”

“Hey. You know I love you, right?” He whispered, pulling the comforter over us.

“Of course I know that. That was the start of all our problems and all our greatest happiness.” I affected a silly voice as I said it. “And I love you, too, Jay.” I finished, seriously, leaning up to press my lips to his and then settling down to fall asleep in his arms.

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