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#but these are just the results of waiting a week
vivwritesfics · 18 hours
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Hold Me Close
okay so i've been in this situation, but it played out very differently. I just want to in some way experience it in a nicer way than i actually did.
She doesn't want a baby. Spencer comforts her through a pregnancy scare
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When he was younger, Spencer Reid hadn't wanted kids. His own childhood hadn't been the best (not through the faults of his mother, Spencer loved her more than anything in the world), and he wasn't confident in his ability to look after a child.
But then JJ had Henry. Spencer had been, admittedly, freaked out by her pregnancy. But then he met Henry, the sweetest little bundle of flesh out there.
And then JJ had Michael and Morgan had his child. Spencer really could see himself coming around to the idea.
The only problem was finding somebody, somebody he loved, somebody he wanted to have a child with.
Spencer never expected to meet her after his stint in prison. He was damn near forty. And she was significantly younger, only in her twenties. Spencer had resisted. for the longest time he had resisted. But she wanted him just as much as he wanted her.
It didn't take long for them to collide, lips and tongue and teeth clashing together in a way the others didn't expect from their resident genius.
Spencer was full of regret after the first time. He remembered being her age, remembered all of the things he'd gone through at that age. And, to him, that was a lifetime ago. He'd completed countless cases, saved countless lives.
But she was patient with him. She stayed by his side, she took care of him in a way Spencer hadn't expected. It was hard not to fall in love.
Spencer knew she was young, knew that, where he might have been ready for a child, there was a chance she wasn't after a year together, after a year of being careful when they had sex, a year of wearing condoms and taking birth control, they had their first pregnancy scare.
She hadn't felt right for weeks, tried to convince herself it was just a stomach bug. But there was that feeling in the back of her mind, the one that told her she needed to take a test.
So, while she was cuddled up against Spencer, hands clutching her stomach as he read, she looked up at him. "Spence," she squeaked, and he tightened his arm around her.
The way she asked him to walk to the store with her, he'd never heard her sound so vulnerable before. Spencer couldn't say no to her if he tried. He held her hand the entire time, as they picked up the box of tests, as he paid for them.
And as soon took one, as she peed on the stick and set it down, he waited with her. She sat on the closed toilet lid and Spencer sat on the edge of the bathtub.
He couldn't help but watch the way she she hugged herself, eyes cast downwards as she waited for the results.
"C'mere," Spencer whispered and opened his arms.
Immediately she sat beside him and tucked herself into his side. "I'm sorry," she said as fat tears rolled down her cheeks.
Spencer kissed the top of her head. "You have nothing to he sorry about," he whispered, lips still against her hair. "What... what do you want to do if it's positive?"
It wasn't something they'd discussed before. Spencer knew he was ready for children, but she was so much younger, and she hadn't spoken to him about it before.
She shook her head, eyes squeezed shut as she buried her face against his chest. "I can't, Spencer," she cried. "I can't keep it."
"Okay," he said and rubbed her back soothingly.
After the seven minutes they checked the test. Negative. She was so happy she could have cried. "Thank God," she whispered and threw the negative test away.
It had taken it all out of her. With a hand on the small of her back, Spencer guided her back to the bed. He held her until she fell asleep, reading to her.
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sugrhigh · 1 day
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BOY NEXT DOOR 7 - ( c.s )
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part six
summary- you and your roommates live beside a bunch of senior hockey players, one of them being the infamous team captain chris sturniolo. he’s effortlessly flirty and undeniably attractive, but he’s also a pain in your ass. you find that you have to fight between lust and hatred as you finally get to know the boy next door, whether you want to or not.
warnings- cursing, smut (oral m!receiving)
a/n: part 7 bay beeeee let’s get it, they’re falling yall 😳
@fawnchives @teapartyprincess4two @55sturn @l9vesick @mattinside @sturnioloco @rootbeerworshiper @stonermattsgf @dazednmatthews @chrisactualwife @mattybsbitch @mattsmunch @breeloveschris @sturnifyed @julessspoetry @beijhe @luckistar-posts @gnxosblog @braindead4l @hearts4matty @orangeypepsi @ponyosturniolo @cupidsword @rainydayenthusiast @sturnvvz @wurlibydominicfike @poopydroopt @bernardsleftbootycheek @trilliwarner @rubyjanexxx @reallykaz @sturnlvrs @neatcarrot767 @kirby0strombolli @bunnysturns @junnniiieee07 @hrt-attack @sturnssmuts @stunza @beccaluvschris @asturniolos @slutz4sturniolos @mattslolita @alorsxsturn @sturnrc @chrissystur @kellsbells-18
the following week and a half are a complete haze. between classes and schoolwork and hanging out with chris, it’s been a whirlwind of both pleasure and stress, but you’re not complaining about it.
it’s the most fun you’ve had with a guy in a minute, the most fun you’ve had with anyone in a minute period.
you catch yourself smiling at your phone in class when he texts you silly things throughout the day, or when he gives you a quick call to tell you something crazy. he’s always insisting that you spend the night at his, just so he can wake up with his chin nuzzled into neck and his arm wrapped around your waist.
after practices he’ll pick you up to go get food, or bring something back for you if he stops on the way home instead. you’ve also been to a few of his games since making up, which depending on the result will usually end in some type of fun new sexual escapade.
he never forgets to kiss you hello and goodbye, is constantly giving you his clothes to wear because they “look better” on you, and he even throws his arm around your shoulder in public without shame.
he’s doing the little things, and you have to admit that you really like it.
ramona and cass have caught on at this point, always shooting you sly grins when you say you’re heading out, or that you have plans. you never even mentioned chris by name in the beginning, but they knew.
and despite prior flukes, they both support you whole-heartedly and are always gushing about how different he’s acting. you try not to read into their theories too much, but sometimes you can’t help but wonder.
why would he be putting in effort on all of these extra gestures if he didn’t truly want something more?
he’s already got the sex, so what else does he need?
but one thing you still haven’t fully learned about chris is that he’s selfish. he needs and wants everything, in almost all aspects of his life aside from his romantic interests. that is, until he met you.
and now that he has you, finally, he wants it all. whenever you’re not with him, he’s thinking about you. sometimes it’s the dirtiest fantasies that he’s just waiting to fulfill, and other times it’s wondering what you had for lunch, or what you dreamed about, or what you’re up to with your friends.
when you are with him, he can’t get enough; your smell, the way your hair feels against his palm, the softness of your lips all over him. he adores when he makes you laugh, when you toss one leg around him before the two of you go to sleep, when you’re standing in the crowd supporting him in his jersey.
he even likes when you scrunch your nose in disgust at him after he hits you with yet another cheesy pickup line.
chris has no idea how to handle the intensity of his feelings, or how to identify them. unbeknownst to him, you’re feeling the exact same.
but everything is still normal as you two lounge on his bed, both enjoying the wind down after a long day. the sun is well below the horizon now and you’ve been watching hockey for the past two hours—shocker. but you can feel chris growing restless beside you, hand stroking your thigh lazily.
“alright, what’s your deal?” you ask after he huffs for the fifth time, even though you know he’s just bored.
he pauses to think about it for a moment, rolling his lips between his teeth. then his eyes go wide and a grin takes over his face as you watch an idea form in his mind.
“wanna play super smash brothers?” chris asks, and you feel your own expression light up at the suggestion.
“oh my god, seriously? i didn’t even know that game was still around.” you gush in excitement.
“lucky for you, i’ve got it on my switch.” he wiggles his eyebrows a few times before he leans over to grab the device off of his nightstand.
you stay silent while he props the screen up on top of the covers, sitting up straighter like he’s preparing for war as he hands you a controller.
though the console is a completely foreign thing to you, you used to be decent when you played on the wii several years ago. you have a feeling the skill will translate.
“are you sure you’re ready? i’m a known pro.” he warns you with a smirk as the game loads.
you shrug, deciding not to boast about your own ability just yet. better to leave it a mystery, just in case you do actually suck.
“your threats are unimpressive.”
“i’d hold the sass, princess. we haven’t even started yet. plus,” he drags the word out for effect as he stares at you with a devious look in his eye, “i have a dare for you.”
a snort escapes before you can help it. “so we’re back in middle school now?”
“c’mon, humor me.”
“alright, let me hear it.” you give in, because you are wondering what he has in store.
“every time i beat you, you have to take off a piece of clothing. and every time i lose, if i ever actually lose, i’ll do the same.” chris explains.
it’s an enticing offer. you pretend to contemplate the challenge, tapping on your chin lightly with your pointer finger as you furrow your brows.
“okay, i’ll take the bait.” you finally say.
you don’t plan on being defeated anyways. he’s underestimating you yet again, and you can also tell that he’s surprised by your answer.
but regardless, he gives you a nod of approval. “very daring, i’m impressed.”
“you'll be even more impressed when i kick your ass.” you tease with a smile, leaning in to give him a quick kiss before you refocus on the task at hand.
“sure i will, now pick your character already.” he prompts, pointing a finger at the screen.
you already know who you’re going to play as, because you used to choose the same fighter pretty much every time. so you use your controls to scroll and select quickly.
“so you’re a kirby girl.” chris notes with a grin, like it makes perfect sense.
“force of habit, i guess.” you respond as you glance down at the switch.
he just shakes his head, clicking on the default stage so that he can get the game ready to go. “that big pink fuck won’t save you now.”
“hey! don’t you dare talk about him like that, he can hear you.” you motion to the screen in offense.
this makes him chuckle, a delightful sound that you’ve come to know and love.
“yeah, yeah, whatever. are you ready?”
you square your shoulders. “prepare to die, chris sturniolo.”
the game begins a moment later, and neither of you are relaxed in his bed anymore. you’re both quite literally on the edge of your seats, fingers frantically jamming at the controllers.
you’re the first to hit him, watching his XP fade just a little bit as a result. he grunts beside you while he continues throwing aimless attacks your way, eyes narrowed in determination.
he’s next to land a big one, which knocks kirby on his ass for a solid few seconds as chris pummels your character. you’re at nearly half of your health before you escape his grasp, so you grit your teeth and keep battling.
but it’s no use. even though you knock him off of the little island, he delivers the final blow a moment later and pikachu wins the first round.
“shit!” you yell as you watch your own fighter die.
chris throws his arms up in victory, already beaming over the fact that you’ll have to be the first to start stripping. you stare at the screen incredulously before you hang your head in shame.
“i think you owe me something, baby.” he chirps happily.
your mind races, trying to find some loophole to save your dignity. then the sides of your mouth turn up just a bit. you reach down to peel your socks off and toss them to the floor, fully smirking now.
chris shakes a finger at you accusingly, though he’s smiling regardless. “that does not count, you little cheater.”
“it totally does. socks are essential to daily life.” you argue.
he licks his lips as he grips his controller once more. “fine, but you don’t have an excuse after this, and puppy eyes won’t get you out of it.”
“sure they won’t.” you reply innocently, giving him a knowing look.
the next round starts up and this time you come out swinging, sending quite a few damaging hits his way. you’re satisfied with the head start, avoiding him by jumping around on the obstacles in the arena.
every time he’s about to strike, you feel him tense up beside you, so you decide to use it to your advantage. you back up as he advances, once again steering clear of any harm.
then you switch up and go on offense again, sending pikachu up into the air with the last strike of the match.
chris groans in disappointment as you let out a brief cheer, nudging him with your shoulder suggestively.
“i think you owe me something, pretty boy.” you mock him, unable to hide how pleased you are.
he just rolls his eyes in response, reaching to grab the collar of his shirt so he can pull it over his head. you honestly weren’t fully prepared yet, and your mouth goes dry as you watch his muscles clench while he shifts to chuck it to the ground.
you can see some of the hickies you gave him scattered across his collarbones, and although you’re a little embarrassed, it’s also a bit of a turn on.
“distracted?” chris taunts.
you narrow your eyes and turn back to the switch. “never.”
the third round commences and you’re feeling far more confident now. he may have a big ego, but he’s not as good as he made himself out to be, so you’ve at least got a chance.
it’s dead even for a moment while you each go punch for punch, bringing your health down quite a bit. you’re completely zoned in until you feel his hand grip your thigh, inching higher and higher rather quickly.
it makes your stomach flip, and you’re forced to look over at him in surprise. in that moment, you know you lost, because chris removes his fingers just as quickly as they were there and goes for the final kill.
he meets your eyes after he’s secured the second win, pure amusement evident in his expression.
“who’s the cheater now, huh?” you shove him lightly, but he just laughs.
“hey, you never said touching was off limits. i was just using my resources.” chris says, clearly deciding to maintain his innocence.
“that’s total horseshit and you know it. you’re lucky i’m a good sport.”
so you tug your own sweatshirt up, throwing it toward the foot of the bed without a second thought. you’re left in your lacey red bra, though it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before anyways.
but when you glance over, there’s a hungry glint in chris’s eyes that lets you know he's just as excited as the first time. his gaze flicks down to your chest, tilting his head forward a bit so his face is closer to yours.
“jesus, that bra is fucking sexy.” his words sound more like a whine than anything else.
you can feel yourself beginning to shake ever so slightly in anticipation, trying to steady your hands by holding your controller.
“don’t say shit like that to me.” oh, but it sounds so delicious.
“i’m sorry.” chris lies breathlessly.
his lips ghost over your cheek, his teeth clamping down on that sweet spot behind your ear a moment later. you let out a small gasp, placing your hands on his warm chest to push him away.
“we’re supposed to be playing.” you remind him quietly.
everything in your body is screaming for him to pin you to the bed, to let him have his way with you, but you won’t let yourself get carried away that easily. not this time.
“damnit, i’m not going to be able to win with you looking like that right beside me.” chris complains.
“sounds like a you problem.” you brush him off and click the button to start the next round.
you can feel your hands sweating as you move kirby around the stage. you know exactly what you’re doing now, walking right into his attacks as if you’re practically begging to die.
the attention chris gave you after you lost last time was intense, and you can only imagine how it’ll go once you take off your pants too.
so, you let yourself lose. pikachu defeats kirby swiftly, and now it’s time to face the consequences.
“you suck at this.” he grins widely after your third loss, clearly content.
but you don’t say anything. you just lay back, lifting your hips up so you can wiggle your sweats down your legs. you kick them off at the foot of the mattress, enjoying the way chris’s eyes go wide as he watches you.
“you’re evil, you know?” his voice is dangerously low as you sit back up, confidence flooding through your veins.
you nod, biting down on your lip to keep yourself from smiling like a cheshire cat. “what are you gonna do about it?”
he opens his mouth like he’s going to tell you, and then changes his mind.
“nothing.”
not the answer you were expecting. you furrow your brows, completely thrown for a loop, when you get your own brilliant idea. an idea he won’t be able to resist, literally and figuratively.
“fine, then i have a game for you.” you say, trying to provoke him.
“i’m listening.” he sounds intrigued.
“let’s see how long you can go without touching me, because i bet you won’t last more than a minute. but i can do whatever i want.” your voice gets sultry at the end as you glance down at his mouth.
chris feels all of the blood rush to his dick just thinking about the dare, already turned on from seeing you in your tiny matching set. he knows he won’t be able to contain himself, but he doesn’t care.
“filthy girl.” he purrs, nodding his head yes.
you watch him situate himself against the pillows, laying so you can roll to your knees and straddle him. his eyes roam your body, lips tilted into a lopsided smile as he relishes the feeling of your silky skin on his.
your hands go to his bare shoulders, steadying yourself as you lean down to give him a brief kiss. you move to his jaw before he can get to into it, taking your time as you finally reach his neck. he spreads his hands out on the comforter, gripping it harshly to prevent himself from giving in.
your hips rock against him agonizingly slow, and you can feel his hard on as you grind your cunt into it. fingers trail down his stomach, raking at the skin lightly.
he’s choking on his breath underneath you, trying so hard not to buck into your movements even though he wants to so bad. you’re careful, leaving open-mouth kisses in new areas in the hopes of giving him more hickies.
chris’s eyes flutter closed, lips parted in bliss as a small whine escapes, and you can tell he’s just itching to truly feel you.
you move your face up so you’re right by his ear, whispering your next words without hesitation.
“come on baby, touch me. i know you want to.”
it’s your first time using the pet name with him, and you can tell by the groan he lets out that it’s enough to send him over the edge.
his hands reach to grip your ass, rocking you against him harder as he gives one side a little slap. chris tilts his head so he can capture your mouth with his for a real kiss, tongue and teeth meshing together beautifully.
when you pull away his lips are glossy and red, which you always love seeing. you shift yourself off of him so your hands can move toward his sweats, fingers dipping below the waistband just slightly as you look up at him for permission.
chris nods eagerly, biting down on his lip and squirming around for any kind of contact. you steady his hips with your hands, clicking your tongue once in distaste.
“you better be patient, or i won’t do a damn thing.” you chide.
“i’ll be good. so good.” he promises, practically pleading with you now.
the neediness ignites a fire in your stomach, so you slowly begin to work his pants and boxers down his legs. his erection bounces free, slapping against his stomach, and you feel your mouth watering just looking at it.
once you’ve officially discarded his clothes, you position yourself between his legs so that you’re eye-level with his cock. he’s already throbbing at the sight, waiting as you spit in your palm and wrap it around the base of his shaft.
chris lets out a moan as you start to move your hand up and down ever so slowly, making sure to tease as much as possible because you know how sensitive he is right now. your run your thumb over his slit, which is leaking with precum, and he trembles in your grasp.
after a moment like this, you finally bring your head down, wrapping your lips around him and swirling your tongue across his tip.
“fuckkk.” he hisses through his teeth, reaching to wrap a hand in your hair messily.
you take as much of him into your mouth as you can, using your hand on the part you can’t reach as you hollow your cheeks and bob your head slightly. your other palm rests on his thigh, steadying yourself as you suck his dick.
“feels amazing.” he praises through a whimper, involuntarily bucking into your throat now.
you can feel him pulling you by the hair, forcing you to take more of him as tears brim your eyes. you know he’s getting close just based on the way he’s beginning to shake, so you pick up your pace a bit.
“shit, baby, just like that.” chris groans, his body shuddering as you work your tongue.
he’s breathing heavy now, head thrown back with his eyes screwed shut, hair messy across his forehead. his grip on you tightens, a dead giveaway that he’s about to come.
“fuck, fuck, i’m—”
you feel him twitch in your mouth, body completely tense as his orgasm spills down your throat. his hand untangles from your hair so you can pull away to swallow, brushing stray strands from your face.
his chest rises and falls heavily as he lays there, riding out the high before he peels his eyes open to look at you through the bleariness.
“you’re incredible.” chris says as he reaches for your hand, pulling you down into bed beside him.
he presses a kiss to your forehead, a gentle touch that you’re not used to, and you feel your stupid little heart melt.
“and you’re getting soft on me, mister tough guy.” you joke, poking his side like you're making a point.
“for you, i think i can live with that.”
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junggunz · 3 days
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13 | 🔞
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summary: samuel's secret kink slips cw: fembodied!reader, smut, pwp, established relationship, p in v, light free use, mostly breeding kink tbh, dirty talk from samuel...as usual. all characters featured are 18+ wc: ~1k an: THIS PROMPT SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SO HARD. i dont have a brain when it comes to sammy. it's just pure horny. i shouldn't have been allowed to choose his kink lol.
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Samuel rarely ever imagined himself getting married. And he never thought that he would be talking about planning a family. However, something just snaps within him when it comes to you. He can’t recall what triggered the change in mindset but at some point after seeing you on a regular basis, going on dates, then making things official and becoming dependent on your touch…it became all he ever thinks about.
But this is Samuel Seo we’re talking about. It’s not part of his prerogative to willingly become emotionally vulnerable and confess something like that to you no matter how long the two of you have been dating. Any displays of how he felt were the result of being pushed to his wits end. Though one could argue that he was already there as these feelings manifest as an insatiable appetite for you. 
In the middle of making your morning coffee, you feel the large hands you’ve become so accustomed to palming your hips. You barely even flinch as Samuel’s hands grope at your body through the fabric of one of his shirts draping your silhouette. Just one measly garment that separates him from your nude figure. With how needy Samuel has been these last few weeks, it comes as no surprise when you feel him pressing himself up against your backside, feeling the outline of his shaft through his designer boxer briefs.
Is it your lack of resistance or is it the way your body easily gives in to his touch that makes him excited? It’s a fleeting idea before he’s bending your pliant body over the kitchen counter, a pleased smirk tugging at the corner of his lips while he lifts the hem of the garment you’re wearing. To find you already slick and waiting to be filled sends a rush of excitement through Samuel and inflates his ego.
“Always so ready for me.” He coos softly, running his fingers along your slick folds. “Are you really that eager to have my kids?” Speaking to you in a taunting tone, his words are accented by a couple sharp slaps to your cunt.
“Just eager to please my big, strong man.” You say with a ditzy giggle, grabbing on to the ledge of the counter to brace yourself for what was to come.
Samuel’s smug grin widens, knowing that he really hit the gold mine with you. After all, he couldn’t be king without having a nice piece of arm candy on his side; willing to give him an heir without second thought. Freeing his shaft from the confines of his boxers, he rubs the swollen tip against your folds. 
“I’m gonna get this pussy so full.” Samuel murmurs, pressing his cock against your slick opening. 
Sinking his length into you all the way, the pace is fast right off the bat. It’s what he desires in this moment and that hunger is exacerbated by how you want it just as bad; maybe even more. Eyes fluttering closed when he bottoms out, Samuel can never get over how well he’s molded you to fit his cock. When the two of you first started seeing each other, you would just cry and whine about how he was too big and how he would break you. Now, you’re perfectly broken in and belong solely to him.
Hands tightly gripping your waist, he forces you into a deeper arch. Your back would hate you for it later, but right now, it has your moans escalating in volume with breathy gasps sprinkled in. The angle you feel Samuel’s cock at has your pulsing walls dripping around him as he keeps pushing into you; burying it so deep, he grazes your cervix before pulling all the way out until just the tip remains.
“Look at how wet you are,” Samuel muses, admiring your nectar coating his shaft in a thick gloss while he eases back into your heat for the nth time. “Feels good, doesn’t it?”
You nod, whimpering as he keeps thrusting into you–over and over again, the pleasure so intense that when your eyes roll back, your vision goes black for a moment. It takes a particularly rough slam into your sweet spot for you to come to, your hands holding the counter tighter as you feel your legs nearly give out on you. 
“God, I love fucking this pussy.” Samuel grunts, his feverish words make your hole weep around him as it squeezes tighter. 
One hand slipping from your hips, it grips the underside of your thigh and lifts it up onto the cold surface of the kitchen island; spreading you open for his hard strokes. Mean, brutal, and oh so addictive– your pleasure is amplified as he consistently hits that special spot within you that turns your brain to mush. The quick, maddening tempo has both you and Samuel losing your minds, desperation thick in the sex scented air.
“A-ah…fuck..Samuel, I’m gonna cum.” You whine out, tears welling in the corner of your eyes as your body is overwhelmed by a rapidly spreading heat. It starts in your core, reaching your toes and the tips of your fingers. Your palms are so sweaty, you can barely hold on to the counter to keep yourself steady. You have to rely on Samuel’s vice grip to stop you from crumbling into a heap on the floor.
“That’s right, baby. Cum all over my cock.” He gasps out, head tipping back with a low moan. 
The deep strokes that push you toward your climax have pathetic moans trickling past your lips before your jaw falls open soundlessly; shocked by the intensity of your orgasm. 
Samuel is usually one to hold back until he’s fucked an orgasm–or three out of you but today he finishes the same moment you do; the tip of his cock nudged against your cervix while he spills his load. Warm spurts of his cum fill you completely. 
But you knew better; things weren’t over quite yet.
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mykoreanlove · 1 day
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i need skz angst like rn??😭
hyunjin x female reader, and they maybe decide to go out to like a club or something, and some guy hits on the reader and hyunjin is like “you were flirting back!” and the reader is just very confused bc they tried to let the guy know as kindly as possible that they are taken, but hyunjin is still really mad and it results in them fighting
and then maybe hyunjin decides to go home but not like a shared apartment thing like he goes somewhere reader doesn’t know about
and then a day passes and he’s like “oh no i fucked up” and comes to readers apartment to apologize
happy ending? tysmmm🎀
I was like sure, let's writing something short and quick but somehow it turned into 6 pages lol. hope u enjoy it :)
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The pros of being an insanely hot couple? A lot of sex and affection, a lot of people wanting to be like you and a lot of praise and admiration.
The cons of being an insanely hot couple? A lot of people trying to take your place, a lot of jealous envy and a lot of insecurity.
“Baby, you look incredible”, Hyunjin whispered into your ear as he hugged you from behind. You were standing in front of the mirror, admiring your look for the night. “I wanted to look good for you”, you shyly admitted as you leaned into him. “There is absolutely nothing you have to do to accomplish this, y/n. Nothing, you hear me?”
Ever since you met Hyunjin a couple of weeks ago your whole world turned around. You were used to dating a lot and having fun, but this was different. He was different. Both of you fell for the other rather quickly, a romance that revealed a hidden side within you.
“I want to kiss you so badly”, you whined.
“Why don’t you?”
Instantaneously, you pointed to your lips covered in deep ruby red.
“Ah”, he nodded understandingly. “Is it okay then if I do this?”, Hyunjin asked before kissing every inch of your collarbone, slightly sucking to mark his territory.
Hyunjin was a confident guy, knowing damn well that he was good looking and talented and still he felt conflicted at times. What if this was not enough? What if he was not enough for you? Since you were in your early dating stages, he never had vocalized his concerns, but his body did. His need to be near you, touch you and possess you was evident from the start.
“Jinnie, stop”, you giggled as you pushed him away.
Irritation grew on his face, not understanding why you were distancing yourself.
“I’m gonna be covered in marks that everyone is going to see”, you teased.
He felt his chest tighten. Did you not want others to see them? Did you want to be perceived as single? His own sparks of insecurity got ignited again, waiting to turn into a full-size fire.
The club was crowded with people of all kinds – dancers, jocks, hot models, a real feast for the eye. You were used to people turning their heads, especially when you were together with Hyunjin. It never bothered you that much since you knew how devoted he was to you.
“Can I tell you something?” You were laying on his chest, watching him breathe calmly. “Sure.” “I found your old DVDs in the basement, and I started watching them while you were at work. Binging them, really. And I saw something that really stuck with me”, he explained silently. “What was it?” “Ever thine. Ever mine. Ever ours”, he explained softly. You turned your head and gazed into his teary eyes. “We haven’t been together that long, I know. But this is exactly how I feel, y/n. I can’t imagine my life without you anymore. Cannot. Do not want to. Impossible.” You started tearing up as well, finally feeling at home with another soul. You placed a soft kiss on his plush lips and whispered: “I’ll be your Carry, baby.”
“Come dance with me”, you shouted as you pulled him to the dance floor. It was hot and sticky, but you didn’t mind, in fact you loved it like that. The music was energetic and vibrant, filling the whole room with energy and life force. You only had eyes for Hyunjin, watching his body move gracefully to the music. When he danced, he became one with the tunes, one with the movements. He smirked as he caught you staring, knowing damn well that you were weak for his dancing. As the song changed into a slower, sexier one you found yourself in front of him, grinding on his muscular body. All the other people were forgotten as you swayed your hips on him, feeling him getting hard behind you. His hands on your body and his hot breath on your neck was all you needed to know.
Hyunjin however was more prone to your surroundings. He enjoyed having you like that, but he hated sharing you with others. He was too aware of the other pair of eyes that was set on you. Like a reflex, he pulled you closer, grabbed a bit harder and provoked your surrender, demonstrating whom you belonged to.
“Fuck, baby, if you keep this up, we have to go”, you moaned into his ear.
“Let’s do that”, his whole face lit up. “Let’s get out of here, y/nnie.”
“But we just came?”, you whined in annoyance.
Hyunjin’s eyes darkened as his gaze pierced through you. Just like that, goosebumps formed on your skin, electricity cursed through your body making you feel all hot. He knew exactly what he was doing to you.
“I’m going to the bathroom really quick to fix this situation right here”, he said as he nodded to his crotch, “and when I come back, we leave, you hear me?”
You swallowed and nodded, already anticipating the night ahead.
“Good girl.”
He placed a kiss on your forehead and turned around, quickly looking for the bathroom.
You walked over to the exit and leaned against the cold wall, waiting for your boyfriend, already picturing him doing unspeakable things to you. You were so engulfed in your naughty daydreams that you didn’t even notice the guy from the dancefloor approaching you.
“Hey!”
“Oh, hi”, you replied politely.
“I saw you dancing earlier, damn you got moves!”, he complimented you.
“Thanks”, you replied drily.
“So uhm, would you like to have a drink with me?”
“No”, you shook your head.
“Why not?”
“Well, if you saw me dancing earlier you must have seen my boyfriend behind me, right? That’s why.”
“Shit, sorry. I kinda hoped that he was just another guy hitting on you.”
“Far from that.”
“He’s that great, huh?”
“Y/N”, Hyunjin called out angrily while glaring at the other guy.
You were taken aback by his tone, feeling anxious so you followed him without saying a word.
Fumingly, he marched to the car, while you were trying to keep up. Hyunjin placed both of his hands on the cold metal of the vehicle as he was trying to calm himself.
“Jinnie”, you called out softly.
“Don’t fucking call me that, y/n.”
“What?”
He turned around and faced you, his pupils were dilated, and his nostrils flared – he was angry as fuck.
“Don’t fucking call me that when you were flirting with some dickhead behind my back!”
“Are you serious right now?”
“Of course, I am. That bastard was eye-fucking you while we were dancing, and I left you alone for 5 minutes and you were already cozying up to him?”
“Cozying up to him? Cozying up to him? Are you out of your fucking mind?”
“What? I know what I saw!”
“Enlighten me, then. What did you see?”
“I saw you all smiley and giggly, you were practically shooting heart eyes emojis at him! Is that why you hated me giving you hickeys on your collarbone? So, everybody could see you were available?!”
You felt the punch to your stomach, making it harder to breathe. Every single word of his was laced in the most painful accusation, one that you had been familiar with way too often.
“Yeah, you’re right. I was flirting back and shooting heart eyes emojis at him. It was so much fun! And I was damn grateful that my body was free of your damn hickeys!”, you retorted angrily.
Hyunjin was about to explode, not being able to differentiate between your lies and his perceived reality.
Wordless, he turned around and got into the car. You looked at him one last time, hoping that he would come to his senses – but he didn’t. The loud sound of his engine disturbed the quiet of the night and not seconds later he was gone.
What should have been a fun night out for a young couple turned into a vicious disaster. One was crying hiding in the dirty toilet of a club, while the other was crying racing down the highway. Promises of forever love turned into accusations of unfaithfulness, painting your rosy world of adoration into black loneliness.
You had no idea how you made it back home, nor did you care. The following day was torture – you were ruminating over everything, trying to understand what had happened yesterday. Deep sadness filled your whole being. Hyunjin did not call, nor text. He vanished out of your life, just like he vanished into the night air yesterday. Was that it? Was it over?
“Damn, you look like shit. Why are your eyes so puffy?”
Hyunjin pulled the covers over his head, trying to dissolve into thin air.
“Hey, come on. Talk to me”, his friend encouraged him.
“I may have made the biggest mistake of my life yesterday.”
“Oh my god, did you cheat on y/n?”
“What? No. Of course not. I would never do that”, he explained.
“What did you do then?”
“I accused her of cheating on me.”
“Shit, sorry.”
“Don’t be. This was the last time I let my demons take over”, he mumbled as he left his room.
By evening, you felt better – at least good enough to go for a walk and clear your head. Minutes after you left Hyunjin appeared at your door – holding a giant bouquet of flowers in his trembling hands. He rang your door hundreds of times, knocked on it until his knuckles were swollen and called out for you until his throat was sore. But nothing.
Defeated, he slid down to the ground and thought of what to do.
“Y/N, I made a big mistake yesterday. I am so sorry. I should have never accused you of shit like that.”
He was wiping away his tears again, the thought of loosing you made his heart break every single time.
“You see I’m not perfect. Far from it. Yet somehow you seem to think that way. And I just… I just wait for the shoe to drop. For you to finally realize that I’m nothing special.”
“Jinnie”, you called out his name while stopping in front of your apartment. His eyes widened in surprise, immediately followed by relief. “You didn’t open up because you hated me but because you weren’t home…”
“Don’t flatter yourself, hate is on the top of the list right now”, you glared angrily.
He lowered his head in defeat.
“Are those for me?”, you nodded to the bouquet of flowers.
“Yes.”
You opened the door and passed by him. “Put them in a vase, then.”
Surprised, he got up on his feet and followed you inside.
“Can we talk?”
You sat across from him, giving him the cold shoulder.
“Talk.”
“Y/N, I am sorry. Please believe me, I am so sorry. I was seeing things, I let my insecurities win and I accused you of shit you didn’t do. Please, forgive me.”
“What did you think happened there?”
“I saw you guys talking and then I saw red. Like, you were smiling from ear to ear, practically shooting heart eyes emojis at him. I just, I just saw red.”
You sighed deeply, finally understanding where he was coming from.
“You’re right. I was shooting heart eyes emojis at him.”
“What?” Hyunjin’s heart was about to explode.
“But only because I was talking about you, Jinnie. He asked me out for a drink, and I explained to him that I already found the greatest guy on earth. I was gushing over you, like a freaking fan girl.”
“He’s that great, huh?” “Oh my god, yes. He is the greatest. No really, he is great at everything. Dancing, painting, loving? The best. He is also the kindest and loveliest guy I ever met. Always caring for the ones he loves. Never a dull moment with him. He makes me laugh so much. I swear I got abs because of him. And did you see how handsome he is? Fuck me, it’s like God created him himself and brought him to earth, so we could adore him. Fucking masterpiece, that man.” “Okay, okay, I got it”, the guy gave up. “Must be one hell of a lover.” “One hell of a lover. One hell of a soul. My soul, actually.”
“I feel like the biggest idiot right now”, he admitted ashamed.
“Yeah, you should feel like that.”
“I’m sorry, y/nnie. Can you forgive me?”
Silence lingered between the two of you, only for a moment, until you got up and walked over to him. You put your arms around his lean torso and hugged him tightly, willing to put this past you.
Hyunjin’s body finally relaxed, as he hugged you back. His lips landed on the crown of your head, simply resting there, and holding you close.
“Jinnie, wait. There is something else you need to know.”
He released you from his grip and looked at you anxiously.
“What is it?”
“When I was younger, I got bullied for hickeys. My first boyfriend always left them on my neck and the others harassed me for it, calling me slut and all sorts of names. So, it’s true, I don’t like them being visible.”
Hyunjin’s heart broke once more – for one because you had to endure this harassment, but also because he bullied you himself.
“I’m sorry, y/nnie. I won’t do that ever again.”
“Wait, no. I love your hickeys. I love your lips on me, I really do. But can we, maybe, agree to leave hickeys in places only we can see?”, you asked shily.
Hyunjin chuckled and pulled you in for a kiss, promising to do just that.
“I really meant what I said. I can’t imagine my life without you. I really can’t.”
You grabbed his hands and squeezed them, agreeing you felt the same way.          “I feel like we should talk about your insecurities, but I’m drained from last night.”
“Let’s relax for now, baby.”
“What do you want to do?”
Hyunjin’s lips turned upwards, forming the loveliest yet sneakiest smile.
“Okay, fine. I get the popcorn and you switch on the TV. Sex and the city marathon it is”, you rolled your eyes at him teasingly.
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str4wbaeby · 3 days
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𝓶𝓪 𝓶𝓾𝓼𝓮 pt.3
ᵒᵇˢᵉˢˢᵉᵈ ᵃᵘᵗʰᵒʳ ˣ ᵇᵒᵒᵏʷᵒʳᵐ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ
⤷ note : pt.1 | pt.2 | moodboard
it has been a week since you've last visited the bookstore and a week since your encounter with Ren. though you two continuously text back and forth throughout the day, with him even ringing you up a few times, you still missed seeing his pretty face. there was just something about him, that made you crave for him more and it was definitely something more than just his beauty; maybe his attractive personality? or the way he carried himself so elegantly or maybe the fact that he was a social success, effortlessly mixing in with people while managing a perfect reputation.
he was completely opposite of you and probably someone you desired to be. you were introverted; always minding your own business on the sidelines with very little to say. you found solace in your own company, often indulging in reading or studying. it's not like you didn't have friends, but you were not someone who was easy to befriend either. keeping that in mind, you were quite shocked at how fast Ren managed to wiggle his way into your small little bubble. and you were not gonna lie, but you did infact enjoy his company a lot, frequently finding yourself coming back to him to share the little bits of your life as Ren eagerly waited for you.
you didn't notice how your thoughts swayed away your attention as you zoned out from reality, until you heard a notification pop up on your phone.
"I was thinking if you wanted to grab coffee at the cafe near the bookstore tomorrow. it's been so long since I saw your lovely little face! it'll be my treat btw </3"
of course, it was none other than Ren. the heart emoticon at the end of the text made your heart beat a little faster as you quickly typed out a response.
"sure, why not! I'm starting to miss you too. let's meet at bookstore tomorrow and then we can grab some coffee"
"alrighty! see you tomorrow then, pretty girl", Ren smiled softly at the screen, looking over at the texts you've sent him throughout the day. how can someone even be this cute? he thought, rolling over on his bed to face the wall as he caught a quick glance of the several pictures of you that decorated his room.
Ren Takahashi had everything one could ever desire. he had fame, he had money, a successful career and a respectable image to uphold; well, everything except one thing. and that was his muse. Ren's passion for writing drove from his unsuccessful love life, where he never really got to experience true love from the people he had been with. this resulted in him into resorting to use writing as his only means to express the desires that dwelled deep within his heart. but he was starting to become a little frustrated. he wanted to be loved too, to be cared for, to be held in the arms of his beloved. he wanted to feel what it was like when someone devoted their entire self in just loving him, having eyes for none other. and that would the greatest success in his eyes.
and that's when he met you.
he still remembers the day, the moment he first saw you. it wasn't unusual for one to get stuck in the morning traffic, but amidst the chaos of honking horns and impatient drivers, his gaze found you, and time seemed to stand still. the sun illuminated your features, casting a glow that made you appear almost ethereal. from that moment on, he couldn't shake the feeling that he had stumbled upon something truly special amidst the mundane routine of daily life. you were standing on the sidewalk with a bunch of books in your hands, the gentle breeze moving through your hair, tousling it in the process. and God, you took his breathe away. it was in that moment, he believed "love at first sight" to be true as he profusely thanked the universe to have listened to his wishes.
and something that caught his attention even more was the corner of one of his book peaking out from the bunch you were carrying, a smile making it's way upto his lips subconsciously.
he entered his office in a good mood, that day. he was supposed to start working on the draft of his new novel and let's just say, he found the inspiration for it.
though he knew it could be a bit difficult to get your complete information, but with the connections he had in hand, the task became relatively easier and before he even knew it his obsession with you started to root deep inside his heart.
the more he observed you, the more captivated he got by your presence.
you were just so perfect. how could you not be his?
it bothered him deeply, whenever the thought crossed his mind; not being able to pay attention to anything else as his mind bugged him to take you. he wanted you and he was ready to do anything to have you. you were his since the moment he laid his eyes on you, you just didn't know it yet.
as much as he loved to observe you from the shadows, it was finally time for him to introduce himself. standing in the empty isle, he saw how your small figure reached out to take his book, struggling a bit to get a hold of it. he literally squealed like a little girl inside. you made him feel like a teenager all over again. he waited, until you were so immersed in the book that you failed to notice him creeping up behind you. but when you did notice him though, looking up from the book with your adorable doe eyes and flushed cheeks to see his towering frame, his heart melted right then and there in that very moment, every second he had previously spend yearning for you, begging the Gods to listen to his desperate pleas felt all worth it.
he knew he finally had you in his grasp. and, he's never gonna let go of you
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so i'm supposed to be working on my sterek wip—and i am! i wrote about 1k today—but bc of all you lovely mutual's and folk i follow now also into buddie (main culprits being @inell @rosieposiepuddingnpie @sortasirius and @angela-feelstoomuch) and ofc bc of bi!buck confirmed, i've started ploughing through 911 over the last few weeks like a bloodhound chasing a rabbit through the woods and have consequently, inevitably, started a buddie wip. fml. anyways, it's all your lot's fault so here, have just under 1k of my first buck pov buddie quarantine wip and everyone pls forgive my adhd writing brain lol.
.
Eddie was so fucking drunk. And it wasn't really either of their faults.
Because daytimes? When they weren't on shift? They were easy.
In the daytime there was just so much stuff to do with Christopher. So many games to play and so many cool things Buck was finding he could teach the little guy. And there were things that Christopher was teaching Buck, too, like, did you know that a crocodile can't stick out its tongue? Because Buck didn't, not until Christopher told him. And how cool is that?
The three of them—Buck, Christopher and Eddie—had started a Strip Jack Naked tournament and they now played it every night that he and Eddie were home, just before bath and bedtime stories. Turns out Christopher loved card games, and loved the rude name given to Buck and Maddie's childhood favourite even more, because what ten year old wouldn't? There was obviously zero stripping involved; Buck didn't even know why it was called what it was called, only that it was super fun, and just about easy enough for Christopher to learn but not so easy he'd get bored too fast, y’know? And what was funny was that the little dude hadn't even won a single round yet, and that somehow hadn't seemed to deter the slugger in his efforts one bit. Quite the opposite, actually. He'd warned, “Just you two wait,” and had this look on his face that said he was determined to become a grandmaster and beat Buck at his own game—or, even better, beat his Dad and win the prize of Eddie having to tidy Christopher's room for a week (a suggestion of Buck's that Eddie had not been overjoyed about).
In turn, Buck and Eddie had now lost countless games of Mario Kart to the kid; been repeatedly humiliated at Pictionary (the kiddie version); and each had the least amount of kudos points for Misfits, a game that Eddie apparently used to play with his sisters. It was another drawing-type one, where each player took a body section on their turn—head, torso and arms, or legs and feet—and then folded the paper over to hide the result until everyone was done and Christopher would unfold the paper and they'd all cry with laughter at the results. Misfits didn't even technically have any winners or losers, but hey, try telling Christopher that.
Evenings, though? The few hours left between Christopher's bedtime and Eddie and Buck turning in for the night? They were tougher.
Tough on Buck, at least.
See, he'd had this dream, a few weeks back. A dream about—well.
About Eddie.
In the dream, Buck had been washing the dishes in Eddie and Chris's apartment after Eddie had made another attempt at cooking his abuela's delicious Barbacoa recipe (Buck had tasted the real deal once when Isabel had come to stay and Eddie had invited Buck over to dinner), and Eddie had suddenly crowded into him from behind, crushing the length of his body up against Buck's back and reaching around to circle soft but firm hands around Buck's wet wrists. Startled and confused, Buck had open opened his mouth to say something when Eddie had placed his hot mouth onto the sensitive spot on Buck's neck, just below his right ear and—
Buck had woken abruptly, writhing and twitching and groaning, jizz spilling all over his freshly changed bed sheets.
After that, evenings were a challenge.
They were now made up of all the usual fun and dumb stuff that Buck and Eddie got up to, plus the occasionally deeper topics in their lives that they both seemed to struggle with but tried their best to share with each other, but there was also Don't look too long at Eddie's hands, and Don't look at Eddie's mouth while he speaks, and Don't check out Eddie's ass in those jeans I'd told him he should definitely buy when the shops were still open and the world hadn't yet gone to shit and I wasn't losing my damn mind.
Buck had moved into Eddie and Chris's place when Quarantine hit because it had just made sense, and over the course of the last six months he had somehow managed to fall in lust with his best friend.
So, times when they both had tomorrow off work, and when the confinement got to be a little too much, they would drink. Sometimes a little too much. One of them always stayed relatively sober though, just in case Chris needed something in the night, and tonight, Buck had been allowing Eddie to enjoy himself because the guy hardly ever really let his hair down, and he deserved to.
Eddie got giggly when he drank Tequila, Buck noticed.
They'd already sunk a few beers prior to cracking open the bottle of Cazadores Reposado, and after Buck had stopped at two shots but Eddie had continued, Eddie had become progressively loose and was now starting to giggle like a frickin schoolgirl. Which, embarrassingly, seemed to be doing things to Buck—not that Buck had a thing for school girls, jesus no, it was just that Eddie sounding so soft and vulnerable and happy was something that apparently really did it for Buck.
Fuck his life.
The guy also got very touchy-feely on tequila, too.
They'd migrated from the kitchen table to sitting so close to each other on the sofa that they were permanently touching, as well as all the times Eddie kept nudging his shoulder further into Buck's and squeezing his hand on Buck's knee. Then his thigh.
Seriously, fuck Buck's life.
The way Eddie had gotten so comfortable with touching Buck was becoming a majorly uncomfortable situation for Buck to have to deal with. Not because Buck didn't want the attention, but because he really fucking did.
And that was a problem, for a few reasons.
Reason one was that Buck wasn't gay, and didn't really understand these feelings he was having.
Reason two was, as far as Buck knew, Eddie wasn't gay either.
Reason three (and Buck's biggest fear) was Buck being terrified of losing what he had with Eddie. He loved Eddie, and Christopher, and he was pretty sure they loved him back—and he certainly wasn't about to let his rabid and confusing libido ruin any of that.
Drunk Eddie, though? It seemed Drunk Eddie really had it in for Buck tonight.
.
fingers crossed i can finish it before buck goes insane! xp
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mrs-snape5984 · 1 day
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“Oh, breathe, just breathe…”
“'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable. And life's like an hourglass glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button, girl. So cradle your head in your hands and breathe, just breathe…” (“Breathe (2AM)” by Anna Nalick)
Sometimes, you just have to accept, that there are things, that can’t be changed or fixed anymore…at least not right now. I guess, I’m more and more coming to terms with this insight, considering the fact, that it just doesn’t make sense to wrap my head around the reason for my disease ME/CFS.
I can’t alter my previous decisions. For the past two years, I’ve blamed myself for catching Covid on an Open Air concert of my German favourite punk rock band “Die Ärzte”…especially viewed in the context that I avoided social gatherings since late 2019 because of my medicinal immune suppression. But when I got these tickets as a gift in 2022, my brain must have shut down and I started to belittle the potential risks of catching the virus by telling myself, that I would stand in the back of the crowd, beneath the open sky. This was also the first occasion, when I didn’t wear my mask…after enduring being bullied and mocked for wearing masks everywhere and rejecting every single invitation to parties and simple get-togethers.
Well…only one week later, my life- as I knew it before - came to an abrupt halt. I don’t want to go into detail about my current situation in this post. Whoever knows me and also my prior posts, is probably already fed up with my complaints about ME/CFS and its results for my life.
So, all I can do now, is to breathe. Deliberately slowly…breathing in…and breathing out. Calming my nerves…soothing my troubled mind with my fantasies of Severus and my absolutely self-inserted OC Jules…
I’ve commissioned someone new for this project. Someone different from all those lovely artists of Snapedom, who I regularly contacted for my usual coping mechanism of commissioning artworks of Sevy and Jules.
This time, I reached out to @pinklovecharm, an incredibly kind and understanding artist, who made me speechless with this drawing. I asked her to help my imagination of Severus and Jules, being on a walk in the forest, come to life.
I can’t tell you, how much I’m missing this simple activity of enjoying the autumn sunshine and some fresh air on a walk in the woods. In my fantasy, Severus would apparate us to a secluded path in the middle of the forest, wrapping his arm around my waist to support my steps. We wouldn’t talk much…but Severus would remind me of the importance of breathing…and he would exercise it with me…patiently waiting for me to eventually calm down. He’s my safe haven…my home.
My dear Sadie, you can’t imagine, how much you soothed my soul with your mesmerising art and your kind-heartedness. You really achieved to put me into my OC Jules…with all her emotions and physical attributes….and you even integrated my cane into your drawing! Normally, I don’t show my reference pictures publicly, but I’m too impressed by your dedication to the details of my appearance, that I can’t stop myself from presenting them here. Thank you for everything, you wonderful person! I hope, we’ll stay in touch and that I may commission you again.
🖤Severus & Julia🖤
🖤Sevy and Jules🖤
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bengiyo · 3 days
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Unknown Ep 11 Stray Thoughts
Last week, Wei Qian tried to hide his health problems from Yuan, but Yuan knew the whole time and was super pissed about Wei Qian always choosing to shoulder every burden on his own as well as lying to Yuan. We left them at another critical moment where Wei Qian admitted openly that he also can't live without Yuan.
Of course Yuan is a "if he looks back" gay. Where are all my Andi Mack girlies?
Episode 11: Embracing Regrets Magnifies Courage
Wait, when did they start making out?
Oh, I see, they're playing with time. This is the first time I've really felt like the show's stylistic choices have gotten in the way of its storytelling. We have been building to this moment with Qian and Yuan, and I don't like this choice to show them connecting sexually while intercutting the emotional decision to be intimate and Yuan's flashbacks. Both of these moments are important and happen sequentially, not simultaneously.
I feel like they really botched this sex scene and I'm annoyed about it. I really don't like that we didn't lead with Wei Qian's choice to be intimate with Yuan. It feels like we skipped an important decision. I also don't like all the constant cuts of flashbacks interspersed with the pre-sex convo. This is a huge moment for Wei Qian and I really feel like they got this wrong by making it primarily about Yuan's feelings culminating. We know that Yuan has wanted to fuck this man for like a decade at least. We know Wei Qian hasn't let anyone touch him. We really needed to stay in that moment and not constantly jump around to other moments. It feels like the show got shy about sex, or that the sex scene itself lacked a narrative when they filmed it.
These walls thin as fuck! Like Li Li didn't hear what was happening!
Okay, Li Li is still capable of being adorable when it suits her and I love her.
Man, I'm grumpy from earlier. Wei Qian daydreaming about sex with Yuan at work would have worked a lot better if we weren't flashing back to a scene dominated by flashbacks.
I hope this is the last of the gangster stuff.
Okay, I'm having fun with the dinner date and the decision to be public about themselves.
Test results?? They denied me seeing this man choose to go to the hospital???
Mhmm, we recognize that Li Li is smart. She definitely knows what's up.
Okay, I actually like Qian not answering about the hug and instead just kissing his head. That feels appropriate because that line is quite blurred.
I'm feeling mixed about the mom stuff resurfacing on the episode they had sex for the first time. We suspect that Yuan's mom abused him, and that feels unresolved for me. I'm having a hard time separating his sexual trauma from his abandonment trauma in his breakdown here.
"Nobody cares about Qian." Okay, I cried. Wei Qian's siblings saw and understood what he was doing for them the entire time, and they both wanted to care for him in return. Also, San Pang is a great listener in this scene. Truly one of the best characters of the year so far.
And we deal with the rest of their people finding out next week. Okay.
I said what I said above. I didn't think the turn worked this episode, and I didn't fully connect to Wei Qian's emotions this week. It's a letdown and I'm disappointed.
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mong---mong · 11 hours
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Reactions SKZ Family
When your Pregnant for the first time
I went and closed voting early, since it was obvious who was going to win
Anyway, the length of these stories are not biased, just different require more details!!
-x-x-x-x-x-
Chan: (241 Words)
You knew for about a week before you told Chan, 
and it wasn’t like you were trying to keep it a secret, but he was always coming home late, at the studio.
The pregnancy had been planned, a while ago, but the results had been negative, so Chan wasn’t expecting much out of this one either, and just tried not to think about it too much.
“Where are you going?” You ask one night as Chan was sliding on his shoes. “Oh I just need to go down to the studio to get some things done..” he said. “Well when will you be back?” Hoping it was only an hour or so.
“Ehh, I’m not sure, don’t feel like you have to wait for me..” When Chan was vague like that, you knew it meant he wasn’t going to be home, until the early hours. So you stood, up and grabbed his jacket taking it off. 
“It’s Friday night, and I need to talk to you..” You said planning to be straight forward with this. “Is it important, I just-..” Chan started to ask, but instead of giving him a look to prove your point you said. “It’s your call whether our children our important or not”
Chan stared at you for a good few seconds, before blinking and saying “Oh my gosh..we are, you are pregnant?” You nod, and Chan gives you soft hug, and kisses you.
“Thank you…”
-x-x-x-x-x-
Minho: (461)
Minho runs a small business with his parents, but they make very good money, that they are almost considered and company and will be moving into a bigger building in the next few weeks.
With that Minho has been really busy, and you’ve also been his plus one to all these events. At one of these events Minho and his dad were butting heads as usual, while Minho’s mom had found her way to the alcohol table.
This is how the nights normally go, you opinion is constantly asked for, and you always having to chose between you in-law and husband. But this was anything from a normal night.
Everything started off normal, when one of the investors came over to you, he was the owner of a modeling company. “Are you the famous Mrs. Lee?” He asked.
You nod, as the man offers his hand for a dance, this was normal for strangers to ballroom danced, and you didn’t mind nor did Minho.
Normally these strangers were nicer about the way they were dancing, but he was just odd, swiftly swaying, and grabbing you hip making you a bit uncomfortable. “Your as beautiful as they say..” the man says.
Not knowing how to respond, you just thank him. After a while, you stop dancing, feeling sick, and dizzy, you stumble to the bathroom, you weren’t sure if that man had done anything to you.
 You sat there for a while, the place had some pregnancy tests, and you weren’t thinking straight from the one glass of light champagne you had.
Jokingly you took, since the test was going to expire. To your shock it came out positive, you tried a newer one and then a 3rd one. All positive.
Now you were just freaking out, you had a glass of champagne earlier that night. You got up instantly washing up and ran out of there, you approached Minho who was still butting head with his father.
You grab his arm and say “Minho, we need to leave” you say panicked not wanting to say to much in front of his parents. “What sweetheart I’m in the middle of something.”
Minho you said again, it was the tears in your eyes, that made him snap out of his trance, and take you to the car. “Where do you need to go?” He asked as he was getting in the drivers seat.
“Hospital”
After getting checked out the doctors confirmed everything was healthy and that you just couldn’t drink anymore. You went out in the waiting room, to see a tired Minho,
“Are you okay?” He asked standing. Grabbing his hands you put them in your stomach. “We are perfectly fine.”
Minho had the biggest smile on his face all the way home.
-x-x-x-x-x--
Changbin: (271)
Changbin and you had been looking into starting a family since marriage, but being mature adults you decided you were going to wait until later in your marriage, so you had time and money.
It was only the second year of you marriage, and you and Changbin were sitting in the bathroom waiting for the pregnancy test to get your results in. The silence had been deadly, not even a fly had buzzed.
You had been getting sick lately, and you also missed your period. Changbin and yours relationship had barely any secrets, and that’s how you kept it. As Changbin was sitting on the edge of the bathtub he says, “Please understand dear, I don’t mind if your pregnant, I really don’t, so please don’t think that I don’t want this, because I do..”
Changbin’s words were comforting “Thank you Bunny..” you say. 5 minutes had taken what felt like 5 years, when finally the timer beeped. You and Changbin make eye contact. “I want you to check it..” you say looking at Changbin with a slight smile.
After checking a million times if you were sure, Changbin removed the test from the cup. You close yours eyes not being able to look at his reaction. You feel one arm hug around you waist. “Open your eyes..” he says calmingly. 
You open your eyes, to see the pregnancy test saying “Pregnant” you let out a sound of relief and disbelief. “We are..going to be parents” You say, tears building in your eyes as you hug Changbin.
He kisses the side of your head and says “We sure are Mama…”
-x-x-x-x-x-
Hyunjin: (308)
“I told you he wasn’t the right man for you” Your dad says. “Appa! We’re not divorcing, we just need time to figure it out!” You say back.
“And don’t say that Yu-Kai! You love Hyunjin as if he was your own son!” Your mom says, and she holds your hand. “Are you going to even tell us what you two fought about?” She asks again.
You and Hyunjin had fought about your future, and Hyunjin told you he wanted kids just not yet. It was a stupid argument, and you would’ve have figured it out yourselves if you didn’t find you were pregnant.
You were scared of what Hyunjin would say about you, how he would react.  You just sigh not wanting to explain to your mom.
“It was silly stuff, I’m just afraid to return to him..because I’m pregnant..” You confess. Both your parents eyes widen, “Honey you have to go back..” you father says.
“I know but..” you say before your mom cuts you off “No, Y/N you can’t do this alone, and Hyunjin needs to know! We’ll take you home now!”
Just as your parents were about to get up, the door bell rang, your answered the door, and there stood Hyunjin. He instantly hugs you, not to tightly. “I’m sorry..I shouldn’t have said what I did..” he says.
You look at him with tears in your eyes “I assume you saw the test..” Hyunjin nods. “If I had known I wouldn’t have said, even though I shouldn’t have said at all, because I didn’t mean it at all!”
Your dramatic Hyunjin was back in your arms, and how bad you missed, you just kissed him. He kissed you back. 
Breaking the kiss he says “Are we going to be parents?”
You just nod as the two of you kiss again.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Jisung: (460)
It was Jisung who told you were pregnant, but it was in a dream he told you, it had felt so weird. You wake up at 8AM, and you face your husband, who’s snoring with his puffed cheeks.
Remembering the dream, you feel dazed, and when you stand up you wobble a bit. After you get changed, Jisung will be shifting in his bed. He sat up and noticed you weren’t sitting next to him.
“Baby?” He says, looking around and he made eye contact with you. “Why are you up so early on a Friday?” He whines, making grabby arms for you to come back to bed. “I have to go to work, Ji-young had to cancel her shift, she has an ultrasound..”
Jisung pouts a little “I should just get you pregnant so you can stay home all day” you blush a little “Stupid squirrel, I own the cafe, anyway, see you later you pabo” you say kissing his lips.
You went through the day like normal, but you couldn’t stop thinking about the dream. You tie your hair back as you help customers come. 
A wealthy customer came in, he smelled like leather, and cologne, the smells were really getting to you. You had to excuse yourself to go throw up in the bathroom.
On your drive home, you stop by the pharmacy to pick up some nausea medication. All that was left was maternal nausea relief. You sigh, and start to leave, when you pass the pregnancy test. ‘It’s just a coincidence’ you told yourself. 
You almost were out the door, when you looked at the hospital sign that was across the street. “Are you pregnant?” It asked. You were over the signs the world was giving, and you turned right around, and bought three pregnancy tests.
You get home, and see Jisung laying on the couch asleep. You go to the bathroom and set up the pregnancy tests, all you did was have to wait 10 minutes.
You go to the kitchen, to see that Jisung left you his fortune cookie from lunch, you smiled, and you opened it. “A new life will be here for you to take of”
Your eyes widened, as Jisung came behind you. “Hi cutie!” He says, nuzzling into your neck. You just turn around “I think I am pregnant!” You say, sounding distressed.
Jisung’s eyes widen, “That was random, have you taken a test?” You nod “There are three in the bathroom right now..”
As you wait you explain all the signs you got today,and Jisung listens, then the alarm goes off. The two of you went to the bathroom.
After seeing all three tests positive, Jisung’s chuckles, holding you. “Well now you have to stay home with me!”
-x-x-x-x-x-
Felix: (331)
Felix had been preparing his dance class for their first on stage performance, in Paris France, and he has been there for about a week, and was performing tomorrow and coming back the next night. You had been anxious, because while he was gone you found out you were pregnant.
You and Felix wanted to experience every step together so when you found out by yourself, you felt so guilty, you feel even worse because you have yet to even tell him.
This wasn’t something you texted him though, so you had to wait till he came home.
You kept stressing about Felix’s safety, worried he wouldn’t make it back, and that you would have to raise your children on your own.
You were known to over think, and Felix was your sanity, but he wasn’t here, so you had to keep yourself preoccupied with tasks.
When the door opened the night of Felix’s return, you were so grateful for his return. You rush to the the door, and give your husband a hug. 
“Hi sunflower!” Felix chuckled, clearly happy to be back with you. “Hi sunshine!” You say in return. You tried to sound normal, but this is Felix we are talking about of course he noticed.
“What is wrong, you seem off-?” He asked, you just look at him, unsure on how to tell me. “I made a mistake..” is all you say.
“That’s okay, we are all human, they happen!” Felix says smiling, you sigh, “No Felix, I feel bad about it..”
“Well let’s talk about it, and I can hopefully make you feel better!” Felix says, comforting. “I took a pregnancy test without you, I wasn’t thinking and-!” You say panicking, Felix puts his hand on your shoulder.
“Sunflower it’s okay..all that matters is the result..” Felix says, his eyes overflowing with curiosity. “Positive..” you say.
Felix smiles and says “I will be with you for the rest of the steps, I promise..” 
-x-x-x-x-x-
Seungmin: (428)
Bomi is your dog that you got with Seungmin when you were dating. She is a retired medical dog. While you and Seungmin were ready for kids, you just couldn’t seem to get pregnant.
You always get upset when you have every negative test. This time when you took the test, Seungmin was away at the store, you were hoping to surprise him.
Instead you just cried in the bathroom, Bomi had found you, and knew that her Mama was hurting, so she came over and laid on your lap. Only a few minutes later, Bomi was sniffing your stomach.
You giggled a little and said “I’m sorry Bomi, Mama can’t give you a little sibling..” Bomi just whined sitting up, and did a little paw motion. 
That’s when it clicked in your head, Bomi was sensing something, you were terrified, because you knew Bomi mainly sensed cancer.
You grabbed your purse, and looked at Bomi, “Watch the house okay?” You walked out and drove yourself to the ER. After they ran a few tests and stuff, as you were waiting in the room, you saw that Seungmin was almost home.
“Mrs.Kim?” The nurse says, you look up, and she hands you a folder. “Congratulations..” is all she says as she walks away. You were a bit confused. 
As you open the you open the folder you gasped in shock, tears filling your eyes. It was sonogram, of a little baby, at the top it said “Kim Y/N, 8 weeks”. You were shocked. 
You had been taking pregnancy tests for so long, all of them being negative, your dog was able to tell you were pregnant.
You drive home, and you see Seungmin’s car, as you enter the house, Bomi rushes in between your legs her tail wagging. Seungmin looks up, “I thought you might’ve gone a walk to the park, I’m shock you didn’t take Bomi.”
Seungmin grabs your waist, “I saw the test in the bathroom, maybe it was wrong, have you try taking another?” Seungmin asks. You chuckled a little, “I actually went to the ER, Bomi was doing her little trick that she used as a medical dog”
Seungmin went pale, clearly thinking the same thing you had thought. “Is it cancer?” He asked, you shake your head and handed the folder.
Seungmin opened it and his eyes sparkled. “Bomi knew before you?” He asked and he nodded. Seungmin petted the dog “Bomi you smart girl!” He says happy.
As he goes to your level, he kisses you, “8 weeks pregnant..wow..”
-x-x-x-x-x-
Jeongin: (401)
Jeongin had gotten home late from work, so when you woke up at 4AM, you tried you best not to wake him up, but you fell to the ground, about to throw up, you would rather him hold your hair, then clean up the floor.
“Jeongin-!” You gagged, but luckily he was a light sleeper, so he was by your side quickly, you just pointed at the toilet, and he got you there and held your hair, just in time for you to throw up.
He stayed by you whispering comforting words. “It’s okay” “It will be over soon”, and after 5 minutes of not getting sick, you turn and sit against the sink. “I’m sorry I know your probably tired..” You say guilt fills your heart. 
Jeongin picks up your hand and kisses it. “Your my wifey, I said in sickness and in health for a reason..” Jeongin says acting cute, which cheers you up, “But do you think that you might be pregnant, I mean..we got drunk a few weeks ago..”
You remember the moment and nod a little. “Maybe..if I am, how does that effect us?” You asked, Jeongin stands up and grabs a pregnancy test. “We become parents, like we’ve wanted too, we weren’t trying to get pregnant right now, but if it’s going to happen, it might as well happen now”
You take the test, 2 just to be sure, and you two sit on the bathroom floor talking. “Yoon is going  to tease me about this forever..” Jeongin says. “He just jealous of his older brother” you said nudging his side. 
Jeongin lays his head on your shoulder, the alarm goes off, and Jeongin groans. You start to get up, but Jeongin beats you to it. You join him, still dizzy, you pull out the first test, and it shows the a positive result. Your eyes widen and the two of you look at each other. 
When you pulled out the second one, you closed your eyes, it seems Jeongin had to because he said “What does it say?” “I don’t know I closed my eyes?!” You say back.
You both open yours eyes looking at the the test. Positive, Jeongin let out a squeal that made you jump. Jeongin picked you up and spun you around in you bathroom, and the he kissed you.
“I’m sorry, I- I just, I am really excited to be a dad!” He said with the brightest smile on his face.
-x-x-x-x-x-
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lunarubra · 2 days
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Sooo... I wanted to wait to post it next week, but I feel it's going to be even crazier and busier at work in the coming days. As I mentioned in a previous post, the next few months are going to be really hectic for me, so updates could be even more delayed. But I am not abandoning my babies, don't worry. So here we are. I hope you enjoy it. If you can, leave a comment letting me know what you think. It's the first time I've written smut for a straight couple, so I am a little worried of how this is gonna feel. Thanks a ton to @cillmequick and @emotionalcadaver for beta-reading this chapter and being the best mutuals <3
Pairing: Cillian x OC (Jiyan Fabris)
Summary: The morning after, with a surprise visit, and maybe finally, those two idiots are going to talk about what they are feeling. It took them only 25k+ words, sooo. Yeah, I'm aware that as the writer, I should be in control of what they do, but spoiler alert: I am not. They are in control.
Warning: English not my First Language, Mention of Panic Attack, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Smut, Star Wars Spoilers.
Words: 5439
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Part 7 - Swell of Renewal
The first light of dawn gently illuminated Cillian's eyes, rousing him from sleep. Reluctant to open them fully, he savoured the comforting sensation of that fleeting moment between slumber and wakefulness. Gradually, he became aware of the sensations enveloping him. He was laying on his side, with a warm body pressed against his chest, nestled between him and the couch's backrest. His face was buried in soft hair that carried the scent of sea and spices. Before fully registering his surroundings, he snuggled closer, relishing the embrace.
A sudden noise from the front door jolted Cillian awake, causing him to open his eyes and discover Jiyan nestled against his chest. It took a moment for him to recall why he was on the couch and why Jiyan was there beside him. He admired her peaceful form for a few seconds, noting the deepness of her sleep, likely a result of the exhaustion from the previous night. Another knock echoed at the front door, diverting Cillian's attention from the woman beside him, while she remained completely oblivious to the noises, undisturbed and lost in her tranquil slumber.
With gentle care, Cillian untangled himself from their embrace, draping a blanket over Jiyan as he had done the night before, before falling asleep. Since her panic attack and her subsequent openness about what had transpired, neither had questioned the shift in their relationship—they naturally gravitated towards holding and comforting each other. Falling asleep together seemed like the right next step after the emotionally draining evening they had experienced; it was a simple and comforting way to support each other. Even considering leaving Jiyan alone after such a night was unimaginable to him.
Yawning and stretching his arms above his head, he shuffled to the door, muttering under his breath about whoever had the audacity to disturb so early in the morning.
Peering through the door's peephole, he immediately recognized his sister's figure, and a shock of cold realisation shot through him, fully waking him up. Damn, he had completely forgotten about their plans for this morning.
As he opened the door, attempting to offer an apology, his sister launched into a scolding tirade, oblivious to his efforts to quiet her down. The living room wasn’t far, and even though Jiyan seemed to be a deep sleeper, he doubted she would stay asleep for long with his sister's loud reprimands.
"You were still asleep?! Cillian, I told you we needed to buy Sile’s present this morning. With me covering for a colleague this week, I'm swamped, and we agreed to do it today!"
"Orla, morning… I know, I'm sorry, very. I'll find Sile's present on my own later, just please lower your voice," Cillian pleaded.
"Lower my voice?! This is the third time you've postponed it. Her birthday is next week! You were busy with work the past few weeks, but now what? You just forgot? And why do you look so tired? Were you out yesterday night—" Orla paused, her gaze shifting past him.
 Turning around, Cillian saw Jiyan standing there, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants that were clearly too big for her, giving his sister ammo about a crazy night spent the night before, where she spent the night here and now she was wearing his clothes. 
Jiyan appeared still a bit sleepy and somewhat taken aback to find someone else in the house. "Um, hi, sorry, I heard voices and—" Jiyan trailed off, her cheeks flushing with a hint of concern about the situation she had walked into.
"Really, Cilian? Really?" Orla interrupted, looking annoyed with her brother.
"Orla, it's not..." Cilian began, then he shook his head, hoping to dispel any misunderstanding that he had spent the night drinking and picking up random women at the pub. 
He turned to Jiyan, hoping to clarify everything; this was not the morning he had imagined.
"Jiyan, this is my sister, Orla. I forgot we had to buy a present for our youngest sister this morning, and she's giving me an earful. Orla, this is Jiyan, my... This is Jiyan," he concluded a bit awkwardly, turning back to his sister.
"Jiyan?" Orla repeated, making the connection, and sounding placated for the moment, with a hint of sisterly curiosity. "Oh... I'm sorry, I must seem like a crazy sister, but this one," she gestured towards Cillian, "is the most unorganised person I've ever met. I'm Orla, nice to meet you," she said, extending her hand to Jiyan.
"Nice to meet you too," Jiyan replied, still feeling a bit uncertain about the situation. "I can go if you need to go out, it's really no problem-"
"No!" Cilian exclaimed a bit too forcefully, cutting her off before his sister could intervene and convince Jiyan to leave. "Orla was just leaving. I'll buy something later this week, and everything will be alright, right Orla?" he asked, looking at his sister.
Orla glanced between them a couple of times, as if watching a ping pong match, before finally settling her gaze on her brother's determined expression, realising there was no way she could win this battle and following their planned morning.
"Sure," she confirmed, though with a hint of warning. "But if you forget like Mum's birthday last year-"
"It was two years ago!" he defended himself.
"I don't care," she told him firmly. "I have to go now. Jiyan, it was a pleasure to finally put a face to your name. Cillian couldn’t stop talking about you during Paddy's -"
"Yes!" Cillian said, raising his voice, cutting off his sister to comment further. "Orla, I think it’s time. You really should go," he interjected, gently nudging his sister towards the door and subtly hinting for her to leave, hoping to salvage some of the dignity he had left.
His sister finally composed herself and exited, bidding her goodbyes to Jiyan, but not without one last firm reminder to her brother.
After closing the door behind his departing sister and exhaling a held breath, Cillian turned back to Jiyan, feeling a mix of embarrassment and relief.
"Sorry about that," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "My sister can be a bit... persistent. I completely forgot that we had to meet this morning."
Jiyan glanced at the floor, uncertainty clouding her expression. After all that had been said the previous night, she was still shocked by what had transpired and perhaps a little ashamed of her own reactions. "I can really go, if you-"
"I don’t want you to go," he said, cutting her off.
They stood in the hallway entrance, bathed in natural sunlight from the living room, casting a deep ambiance around them. As he looked at Jiyan, he soon forgot about his sister's impromptu visit. The tension he had felt multiple times in the past months was coming alive that morning, making his hair on both his arms feel energised, as if pure electric energy was coursing through him.
"Cillian… I…" Jiyan started to say.
"Can I say something?" he interjected, his voice trembling a little with emotion, starting to feel his heart beating faster. "I know it's only been a couple of months since we met, but the more time I spend with you, Jiyan, the more connected I feel. It's like I've known you for decades, like I can understand what you're feeling and thinking.
He paused briefly before continuing, his words pouring out in a rush. "Yesterday night... Yesterday night, it was draining and exhausting for you, and I understand if you feel like you've exposed yourself to more hurt, or if you think you've shown a vulnerable side of yourself. But I see you, Jiyan. I think I really see someone for the first time, and what I see is beautiful. You have nothing to apologise for or feel ashamed of that happened yesterday. Nothing."
For a long moment, she just looked at him. Looked at that sensitive, generous, humble, handsome man who had offered refuge to her last night, after one of the worst panic attacks she had ever experienced. Who has listened and supported her, making her feel for the first time not alone in what she was going through. She could see in him someone with whom she didn’t have to hide - not her feelings, not her emotions, not her past or insecurities.
"I think... I think I also see you," she said, walking closer to him until their chests were almost touching, locking her gaze with his deep blue eyes that reminded her so much of the sea.
As her heartbeat quickened, but not like the night before, she didn't feel panic this time; she felt alive, a tingling sensation coursing through every part of her body.
Cillian didn't respond with words. Instead, he gently cupped her face with one hand, his eyes speaking volumes, like she could read the myriad shades of the ocean within them. His breathing changed too, influenced by their proximity and her presence.
She wasn't sure who moved first or who initiated the first contact. All she knew was that the first touch felt like finally coming home again. Her hand found its way to the nape of his neck, fingers tangling in his hair, craving to deepen the connection and feel more of him. Their initial tentative kiss quickly turned passionate, almost desperate, as if they feared the other would vanish in the next moment.
His hands found their place on her waist, slipping under her hoodie and eliciting a groan from deep within his chest as he felt her warm skin, his thumbs tracing circles on her taut abdomen.
She lightly nibbled on his lower lip, drawing another deep groan from him, before resting her forehead against his, breathing him in, both of them trying to catch their breath.
"Ok, wow," she said, opening her eyes again and gazing into his.
"Yeah," he agreed, his arms holding her close to him, not wanting to let her go. She held his cheek, breathing him in, closing her eyes and relaxing into their embrace. If their first kiss had quickly turned passionate, the second time their lips met, she wanted to convey all the different feelings she had, feeling connected to him, letting herself go, and trusting him to accept her.
She let out a high-pitched moan when he responded, exploring her mouth with his tongue, wanting her to feel as much as he was feeling in that moment, wanting to deepen it and at the same time just enjoy their exchange that made him feel like he was walking on the moon.
She also wanted to feel more of him, holding one of her hands on his heart, feeling his chest expand and his heart beating frantically. She then started kissing his jaw and snuggled into his neck, softly biting the juncture between his neck and shoulder.
"Jiyan," he warned, closing his eyes to catch his breath again and gain some sort of control over his body.
She made an innocuous sound, then repeated her action, eliciting another deep groan from him. He moved his arm from under the hoodie she was wearing to cup her cheeks.
"You are a tease," he said softly, planting a soft peck on her lips again.
“Who says I am teasing?” she retorted, joy bubbling up from her chest as her hands ran through his hair.
“Come on, you need some food in you after yesterday, before we do anything that requires more effort.”
“Ah, so it’s an effort for you, Murphy?” she teased him, “Didn’t think you were this old,” she said, sliding her fingers into his as she followed him to the kitchen, settling on one of the kitchen stools.
He ignored her last comment with a smile, opening the fridge and inspecting its sad remains.
“I have some toast, cheese, and eggs, but I know you don’t eat those. There’s a lemon and a very questionable package of mushrooms.”
"Urgh," she made a disappointed moan.
“I know, sorry. I just got back yesterday and haven’t had a chance to go to the big shop yet.”
“Do you have some canned chickpeas? Or canned beans?” she asked.
“Maybe, I can check the pantry.”
After she gathered some canned chickpeas and quickly made some hummus to eat with toast, he prepared some scrambled eggs with toast and cheese.
“I should really bring you a package of real tea here and teach you how to make chai,” she said as they sat facing each other, their knees touching, and his left hand resting on her thigh. Since the night before, where he had held and comforted her, it was like both of them couldn't stop touching each other, almost like they always needed some kind of physical connection.
“Please feel free to bring as much chai as you want and teach me that wizardry that you Kurds call tea. You knew I would become a complete addict to that.”
“Yup, that's our evil plan for Kurdistan liberation, making white people fall in love with our chai so they would finally stop persecuting us.”
“See, I always knew you had a second motive,” he joked.
After finishing the last of her hummus on toast, a real champion’s breakfast, she looked at him with a more serious expression.
"After finishing the last of her hummus on toast, a real champion’s breakfast, she looked at him with a more serious expression.
"I know you said you didn’t want me to apologise, so I won’t," she said, resting her hand over his on her leg. "But thank you for taking care of me yesterday, for your patience, and for listening to me. I don’t think I've ever told anyone all of that before."
"I will always want to listen to you and be there for you, I think," he said sincerely. "I know we both said we weren’t looking for something beyond friendship, Jiyan, but I don’t think..."
He paused, gathering his thoughts. "During the past few weeks, while I was working in Galway, I tried to detach myself from you and think about it objectively. I wanted to see if it was just like my other past relationships, where I could lose myself in work and disappear. And I could, partly. I think acting will always be liberating for me because I can stop being myself for some time. But when I stopped and was back to being Cillian, I wanted to share it all with you. I’m not sure how it will all go, but I want to try to have this deep connection that I feel with you, Jiyan. Because for the first time, I feel I can be more than just a good actor, a decent brother, or someone who makes my family proud."
She didn't say anything for a couple of seconds, just staring at their interlined fingers, playing with them.
"During these weeks, when you weren’t here, I also had time to think. I think that’s also why yesterday I had that reaction. Newroz was the first time where I talked again about Samyah, or I felt she was there, back with me, celebrating. It’s like I pushed all away and now I am feeling all of it together. When you were away, I understood how much more difficult it was, feeling all of that without you… here. I am also not sure how it will be, I am not sure how much I am able to give to you right now. You saw yesterday how easily I can break down…” she said, taking a breath and looking back at him. “But I also would love to know what it really feels like, to share all of this with you."
“You are not the only one that is not sure how much I am able to give. Sometimes when I am so deep into my work, I feel like a shadow of myself. Even if I am there, the people around me feel like I am a ghost of the man I am, and maybe the worst is that I love losing myself so deep into a role. It’s the best feeling, even if I feel like shit at the end of the process,” he finished, trying to joke about it, intertwining his fingers with hers, wanting to feel her closer.
“What a pair we make, eh?” she smiled.
He chuckled at that, finishing his last bite of eggs. “Do you have plans today?” he asked, hoping to not get separated too soon.
“I don’t think I want to do anything. Every time I have one of those breakdowns, I feel exhausted the next couple of days. I just want to lay down and maybe watch something.”
“One of those?” he asked worriedly.
“They started a couple of months after Samyah’s passing. Moving here helped. I just had something similar the day I came back from the hospital, after what happened at the pub.”
He stroked her arm gently, not knowing how to help or what he could say. She was confronting her demons with an acceptance that he did not possess, almost like it was natural that things like this were happening and after those few days life would go on, with Jiyan being back to her solar and sassy self. On one side, he was slightly feeling frustrated about her laid-back attitude; he knew that he would not have her grace to behave like that if something similar happened to him. On the other hand, he was really amazed by the woman in front of him, by her resilience and her strength.
“If you don’t want to be on your own, but if you want some company, we can go back on the sofa, choose some comfort movies, and just relax. Later we can order something if we feel hungry.”
“You sure you are okay about spending the day watching movies with me?”
“It would be just grant, Jiyan,” he said, grinning, getting up from the kitchen island and gathering their plates to put them in the dishwasher.
“Are we allowed to snack during these movies?” she asked hopefully, as if they hadn't just finished breakfast.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked back.
“Popcorn?” she asked eagerly. 
“I'll put them in the microwave. Go check if you can find some movies,” he suggested.
“Do you have Star Wars?” she called from the living room.
“Yup, check the shelves on the left,” he said loudly back, just after putting two bowls of popcorn in the microwave and looking for some jalapenos. Then he paused for a moment, thinking about what George Lucas might say, knowing stories about his character, knowing they were using his movies as comfort just after a panic attack. Well, if it worked for her, he would never say no to a Star Wars marathon.
It took him a couple of minutes to return to the living room, with Jiyan seated comfortably on one side of the sofa, wrapped in a fluffy blanket.
He passed her a bowl of popcorn as she pressed play, and “A New Hope” started. Sitting close to her, he started to enjoy the famous first scene of the saga, starting to understand why she found it comforting; it felt like being hugged by an old dear friend.
While Luke met Obi-Wan, Jiyan finished her bowl of popcorn, putting it on the floor. For a tiny person, she could pack away quite a bit of food. As she leaned back, before he could stop her, she took some popcorn from his still full bowl and then reacted with a shriek.
“What’s that?!”
“Popcorn,” he said back, ignoring her shock, hiding the bowl on his side of the couch, the furthest from Jiyan, worried what could happen to his guilty food treat. Hoping to refocus on the movie and avoid a topic that almost every friend or member of his family teased him for.
“No it’s not! Popcorn is crispy, salty, and addictive. What the fuck is that? It’s all soggy,” she whined, complaining.
He avoided her question until she started to tickle him on his side, making him squirm away.
“Jiyan!” he said, slightly annoyed, putting his bowl on the floor too, trying to avoid her tickling attack by grabbing both her wrists. As she tried to struggle away, Cillian pulled back, making her fall onto his chest, and him laying down on the couch.
“Are you finished?” he asked, raising one of his eyebrows.
“You are ticklish,” she answered, avoiding the question with a devious smile, like a cat that ate the canary.
“No,” he tried saying, keeping his face as serious as he could, but her smile only grew wider.
“You are,” she teased.
“Jiyan…” he warned.
“Tickling you is less than a deserved punishment for what you have done to the popcorn,” she defended.
“It’s my bowl,” he said exasperatedly.
“I don’t think even serial killers would dare to do whatever you have done to popcorn. Not even terrorists. Maybe cops, you would expect that from cops, or fascists…”
He interrupted her with a kiss, freeing one of her wrists and cupping her face. “Are you done?” he asked, his voice lowering a tone, smiling amusedly at her.
“You’re not gonna distract me from your crimes, Murphy,” she said, pouting, as he kissed back her pout.
“No?” he asked, this time smirking.
“You cannot bribe me, I’m incorruptible,” she said seriously, as she settled more comfortably into his embrace, starting to run her fingers through his hair. She loved how soft his hair was; it was so comforting.
“Sure, love,” he teased her, starting to kiss her jawline till he found the spot just under her lobe, sucking it and getting a moan from her that made his insides boil, feeling his pants getting tight.
He caressed her throat with his nose, continuing his exploration and being surrounded by her perfume. He could smell some of his body wash and another smell that he could only describe as Jiyan, it reminded him of the spices of chai and the salty air of the sea. He breathed deeply, feeling all his senses wake up and had to control himself, wanting to just turn around with her under him and kiss every centimetre of free skin possible.
Jiyan, who was starting to feel all putty in his hands, tried to get some sort of control back by grabbing his hair slightly to capture his lips, with her free hand sneaking under his t-shirt wanting to also feel his skin. She was welcomed with his smooth skin and the lines of his muscles clenching as she caressed them, gaining a deep groan vibrating from his chest that she swallowed before biting his lower lip.
He also slid his hand under his hoodie she was wearing, caressing her sides as his brain went blank when he noticed just now the absence of a t-shirt or the feel of a bra.
“Is this okay?” he asked, his breath laboured, as his hands were just under her breasts, wanting nothing more than to feel their weight. She arched herself into his hands, like a luxurious cat, nodding her head before brushing kisses along his neck.
He caressed slowly the side of her chest, consciously avoiding the most erogenous zones, making her press into his hands even more, wanting to guide him silently where she wanted him to be touched. He smirked at her attempt, running his thumbs close to where she needed them the most, never really touching them, feeling her trembling with desires but still teasing her. She was so responsive.
“Cillian…” she whined in his neck, grabbing his hair hard.
“Yes, love?” he asked, amused, enjoying playing this game.
“You know what…” she mumbled.
He chuckled, “I don’t know what you mean.”
Jiyan, annoyed and impatient with this man, got up sitting over his lap and in one move got rid of her hoodie, throwing it on the armchair next to them, leaving her topless in front of him. As Cillian's throat got dry and he was distracted by the view in front of him – her taut stomach and her round breasts with small dark areolas that were begging to be kissed – she used his distraction to push his shirt over his head, leaving his chest also bare in front of her.
“Are you done teasing?” she asked, her hands on his chest to balance over him.
“You are beautiful,” he said instead, not sure if he even heard her, his hands back on her, just under her ribs.
She bent and captured his lips, feeling the heat coming from him. His hands started to roam again, one holding her head and the other one cupping one breast, caressing her nipple, making her moan in their kiss. She felt his erection under her and moved her hips, starting a slow rhythm that made them both pant.
They lost themselves in the sensation of skin against skin, lips on lips, and fingers touching any part of skin they could reach.
As she started to rock faster, she started to feel the pressure and the heat inside her growing. When he moved his kisses to her neck and bit her, she moaned loud, feeling the electricity running in her body.
He slid his lips from her neck to the valley between her breasts, catching his breath slightly before he pressed his mouth to her nipples, sucking it slowly, gaining another deep moan from Jiyan. He used his teeth and tongue to explore, switching his attention from one breast to the other and Jiyan felt like her blood was burning, the pressure between her legs increasing.
She stopped her movements, making him look at her confused and worried, asking her if she was alright.
Instead she bent and captured his lips, the kiss became more heated. She then slid her hands in his sweatpants, breaking the kiss and asking silently if it was okay for him. At his eager nod, she got rid of his trousers with his help. As her hand ventured over his boxers, she lightly brushed against his erection, causing him to arch into her touch.
"Who's the tease now?" he rasped, his voice low and growling, as he eyed her with anticipation.
Instead of replying, she reached for him, pulling his underwear down to grasp his member, exploring him for the first time. Her touch was deliberate, moving slowly and firmly, savouring the weight of him and relishing in his laboured breaths and groans. She craved more.
As her thumb traced the pulsing vein on the side of his shaft, feeling his precum, his hands found her ass, gripping it firmly as he surrendered to the sensations she evoked. It didn't take much to push him to the brink.
"I want to feel you," he gasped, seizing her wrist to halt her movements. Looking into his glassy eyes, mirroring her own passion, she nodded.
Sitting up, she took his hand, guiding it to her sweatpants. Together, they shed her clothes, leaving her naked atop him.
"Are you clean?" she inquired, her hand caressing his member with a slow stroke.
"Yeah, are you?" he murmured, his voice dropping. "Do we need a condom?"
"I have an IUD, and I got tested in December when I donated blood on campus," she reassured him.
He nodded, cradling her face to kiss her fiercely once more. As they kissed languidly, catching their breath, her hands trailed down to his chest while his found her hips, aiding her in adjusting their positions.
Guiding him to her entrance, she began to sink onto him slowly, both of them moaning at the initial contact. She exhaled, trying to relax and accept his girth and length.
"Fuck… so tight," he groaned, closing his eyes as he felt her contracting. 
Feeling her stop, he opened his eyes back, trying to gather some control and staying as immobile as possible, "Are you okay?" he asked, his concern evident as his thumbs circled her hips, offering support.
"Yeah, it's been a while," she whispered, closing her eyes to focus on her gradual movements, starting moving slowly.
Supporting her with one hand, he found her folds with the other, feeling how wet she was and searching for her clit. Slowly, he circled it with his thumb, causing her to close her eyes, arch her back, and moan deeply as she slowly sank down. She let out a deep whine when his entire length rested inside her.
"Are you alright, love?" he asked, suppressing his own desires and focusing on her well-being.
"Yeah, it feels good," she said, breathing slowly. "I just need a moment."
She was incredibly tight and warm, enveloping him like a glove. He took a deep breath, restraining himself from moving and allowing her to adjust. He lay back down, enjoying the view of the gorgeous woman in front of him, holding her waist gently, he couldn’t stop touching that soft sunkissed skin.
As she began to feel more comfortable, she squeezed her walls experimentally, feeling him stiffen under her touch.
"Fuck, Jiyan!" he moaned deeply, closing his eyes and tightening his grip on her waist.
With slow movements, she adjusted her hips, searching for a good angle and relishing the sensation of him filling her up. As her movements became smoother, his tip brushed against a soft spot inside her, eliciting a deep moan from her, causing her to arch her back and lose her rhythm.
"Here?" he asked, using his other hand to guide her hips.
"Yes, don't stop," she said, feeling the pleasure intensifying and her walls pulsating.
Time seemed to slow for both of them as they rapidly approached their limits quickly, it had been sometime also for him. Cillian felt her walls spasm around him, signalling her impending release. His thumb went back to circle her clit as her hips stuttered and lost their rhythm. The tension inside him grew like a taut bow ready to be released.
"I'm so close," she gasped, her breathing laboured.
"I am too," he replied, withdrawing his fingers from her folds and gripping her hips tightly. Taking control of the rhythm, he thrust his hips upward, feeling her walls contracting around him. She reached for her breasts, pinching her nipples.
"Fuck, you're so beautiful," he growled, captivated by the sight before him.
Without warning, he felt her orgasm approaching, the sensations spreading through her body and engulfing her in pleasure, eliciting deep moans. As she tightened around him, pulling him in and causing him to groan loudly. It didn't take long for him to follow suit, his body tensing as his release filled her insides. They both felt her spasms and the aftershocks of their orgasms.
They remained intertwined for several minutes, trying to catch their breath, their sweaty bodies pressed together. Exhausted, Jiyan leaned down while Cillian embraced her, gently caressing her back.
Pressing a tender kiss on her shoulder, he whispered in her ear, "Are you okay?"
She murmured a sleepy affirmation, planting kisses between his neck and shoulder.
"Do you want to stay here or go to bed?" he inquired.
"Bed," she mumbled, though she made no move to get up.
"Do you need help, love?" he asked, slightly amused.
Instead of answering, she kissed his neck and hugged him tightly, causing him to chuckle.
"Hmm," she mumbled, with a yawn.
Chuckling, he sat up, still inside her, eliciting a soft moan as he withdrew. Wrapping his arms around her, he carried her upstairs, planting a soft kiss on her forehead before gently laying her down on his bed. After quickly cleaning himself in the ensuite and grabbing a cloth for her, he returned to admire her naked form before laying beside her, cleaning up the mess they had made.
"Thank you," she mumbled, her voice hoarse as she opened her eyes.
He tossed the cloth into the hamper and lay back, embracing her from behind. Pressing a kiss on her neck, he whispered, "You're amazing," as she snuggled into him, emitting a satisfied moan.
"That was a first for a Star Wars marathon," she said softly, her voice already sleepy and relaxed.
"Well, it did bring us comfort," he replied, hugging her tighter.
"Mmmh, I hope all our movie marathons end this way," she murmured, her energy fading.
"If you have enough energy, I can show you the best part later," he teased.
"Mmmh, sleepy," she moaned.
"Sleep well, sweetheart," he said, closing his eyes and planting one last kiss on her neck.
"Mmmh mmm," she mumbled, relaxing, as they both fell into a restful sleep.
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read this chapter. Your feedback, in any form helps me to continue write this story; and comments makes me happy. See you at the next one :)
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ruporas · 2 years
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more sugiO
#sugio#osugi#sugimoto saichi#ogata hyakunosuke#golden kamuy#UWAHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#ok#i posted on my other socials so now ill ramble in the tags bc its a little less embarrassing to post on tumblr than it is anywhere else#but these are just the results of waiting a week#thinking endlessly about sugio and then doodling my ass off the moment the weekend came#i cant really verbalize how i think of them. in a modern au sense they're ofc much better off and ill talk about that in the future maybe!!#but canon compliant wise................ :melting-emoji:#i am a multishipper so in another universe sugimoto is much more happier with perhaps. someone superior. someone better than ogata but#unfortunately i rotate sugio in my brain the most often and while i picture sugimoto be both regretful and disdainful of his feelings#i do think he accepted his feelings early on once he recognized it#and well. sugimoto is nice. hes really nice. hes sweet and silly and has a knack for romance even if he never really pursued it himself#but he has a track record for ppl that he has loved. and i think those people shape him into his kindness.#toraji... umeko.... and now the person he's closest to is asirpa who is just. eugh. ill cry if i get into their familial/platonic bond.#But u see what i mean. ogata is like a trapezoid box trying to fit in with circles. and that wouldv jarred sugimoto soooo much and consideri#ng the kind of personality that ogata elicits from sugimoto during their interactions . he's Just immediately like Why. Whyyyyyy HIMMMMMMM#but i think he gets around it. a real internal struggle.#meanwhile ogata -- the absolute legend of denial and repression - denies it vehemently. does not See it. and thinks there must be something#wrong with sugimoto -- which is smth he takes comfort in#but he'd never return those feelings -- only the passive affection that could come along with it bc physical affection =/= internal emotions#and i don't find ogata to recognize it -- only catch glimpses of it through odd feelings of warmth -- dreams -- instinctively following#or looking at sugimoto pre-abashiri. its small things and well. it'll whiplash him in the end.#bc love has been so absent in ogata's life. if familial/platonic love can't reach him#then romantic love could never either. and that makes me shake his shoulders and weep.#ive written too Much in these tags. AND THis is Not worded in the best way ANYWAY. but At the least i got to verbally wordvomit it out. it s#been just stewing in my brain bc i have no idea where else to put it down.
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the thing about gomens s2 is that if they don't kiss I will blow myself up. but if they do kiss I will also blow myself up
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kozidraws · 28 days
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Before you vote, here are a few arguments for either response in the section below...
Top: Argument 1: He'd like to be on top because he wants to have more control. He is beaten/yelled at all the time by his family, so he'd want to release some of that nervous energy. And during intimacy, he could turn it into confidence and dominance. He'd be into the idea of you praising him for what he's doing for a change. And maybe he'd be interested in hearing you beneath him make sounds of pleasure - as opposed to the sounds of pain he's so used to. Argument 2: Depending on how you see him, there's a chance he relies much more on instinct than thought, a bit like an animal, and he just can't help himself from being on top. Touch, want, mate, easy. Flirt with him too much and he just does it. He is forceful because he wants it real bad. Argument 3: Because he sometimes gets anxious, he might be a little scared to be underneath you. He might not like to be vulnerable and could get uncomfortable to be looked down at from above. He is used to cowering and feeling small sometimes, even for a large man, surely, as Drayton threatens him so often. He would much rather be on top so he can still feel big.
Bottom: Argument 1: He'd like to be on the bottom because he'd want to be taken care of. You can take away the burden and responsibility he has in his day-to-day with your body. He has to butcher and chase all these people down all the time, then assume the household duties, and he'd like to just be pleasured without needing to worry about what to do. Add to that if you were on top and you started to say sweet words and compliment him during... there is the possibility he's going turn into a puddle of happiness. It would be so good to be told he's great and not have the fear of disappointing during intimacy. Argument 2: He is a very large man. He doesn't always know his own strength, maybe, and it's just much easier/safer for you to be on top of him than it is for him to be on top of you. He would be nervous and worried about it otherwise, not wanting to hurt you. It would be a lot more enjoyable for him, knowing you decide the speed/strength/etc. Argument 3: If you see him as wanting to adhere to the feminine role more often than the male role, he'd prefer to be on the bottom because that may feel more natural for him. Specifically, he has always just assumed the submissive stance and wouldn't know how to be very dominant. He might lift people and hook them and carry them like ragdolls, but he isn't really thinking about himself when he does that. He's just the butcher. But during intimacy? He could put on a role that makes him happier. And what role he takes is up to your imagination. But he could be more of a bottom when figuring himself out.
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eirelis · 1 day
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birthday gift for a friend!
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acebabecd · 6 months
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Every week I think, "Here's how Dorian can come back-"
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