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yandereunsolved · 20 days

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You're My Cult Leader - ,, yandere Kai Anderson

tw(s): yandere themes, Kai fuckery, graphic gore, suggestive themes, Kai threatening to cross your boundaries, descriptive depictions of anxiety and panic attacks, self harm, (Kai) glorification of self harm, talks of mental hospitals & mental illness, demonization of medication & mental health (influenced by Kai), baby trapping

ꨄ︎ He found you by pure accident. He was scrolling through Reddit on r/AITA when he found your account. You were asking if breaking up with your partner after they had a mental breakdown and pushed you down the stairs made you a bad person or not. Interest sparked in his mind. If you were this insecure that you had to get validation from others when your ex was clearly in the wrong, you must be easy to manipulate. He wanted to see more of who and what you were, so he hacked your accounts. He didn't do anything more than scroll through him and store your information and passwords marked 'Serpent' on a file put on a hard drive he keeps of all his cult members. He keeps it just in case they try to betray him. They wouldn't dare go against him if they knew he had all of their skeletons locked in his closet.

ꨄ︎ He marks all of his files with the names of mythical animals. All cult members go under one large file named 'Serpent'. In his inner circle, he has another file named 'Sphinx'. As he learns more about you, he compiles an entirely separate file just for you. He names it 'Phoenix'—an immortal bird that cyclically regenerates, obtaining new life by rising from the ashes of its predecessor. He even begins referring to himself as Phoenix when around his other members. Of course you don't know him; you two haven't even had a conversation yet, but you are already part of his cult. It was just a matter of putting a few more things in place to have the perfect meeting.

ꨄ︎ What he didn't expect was to actually begin to form an attraction to you when he had his little 'excursions' with you, stalking you wherever you went. He resents this. You aren't worth his time and attention. He is the divine ruler, a being of divinity. You are just another lamb to be slaughtered within the confines of his cult. Yet he notices how wide your hips are, how good your medical history is, and how motherly you are. He stores it away in his mind. You'd be a good possible womb to store his messiah baby in. He does need the best genetics. It doesn't matter if you are afab or amab; you are having his baby.

ꨄ︎ He introduces himself to you after you had a shitty day at work. He invites you out to your favorite cafe. Huh, how did he know? He knows everything about you. Including what you do in the privacy of your bedroom when you think no one is looking. He speaks to you like an old friend or a lover. You two really seem to have a genuine connection. He's a smart guy, 135 IQ; he toured in Iraq; and he graduated with a double degree. Not to mention, when he stood up and stretched, you could see his muscular physique underneath his gray sweatshirt and joggers. Now you want to know more about him, see him more, and get the validation you crave because you have been starved by others. Just as he planned.

ꨄ︎ It's so strange that after that, the people you hated most started disappearing. It was all over the news. People started seeing you as bad luck. Some people thought you were just a serial killer who hadn't been caught yet. Others thought it was because of some twisted secret admirer of yours. They would both have reasons to think that. The bodies came up in parts. Each on the bed in their bedroom. They were cut into chunks and placed to make little hearts. First, there was nothing else. Then the killer got bolder with the weird smiley face drawn in blood. Eventually, the killer or killers had another collective sign off: 'From F.I.T.— your divine ruler.'

Not even the police would touch you. No one would. Only Kai was there for you in those trying times. He drove you deeper into his grasp. Not suffocating at first just so you wouldn't see it until it's too late—like a boa constrictor constricting around its sleeping prey.

ꨄ︎ He offered you a place to stay and promised to protect you from the evils of the world. He makes you as scared of the outside as possible. Think of all the horrors out there. Can you not see the killings all over the news? Can you not realize that the country is being flooded with dangerous people? Are you so unaware that someone could slit your throat if you so much as stepped outside the door? Kai is there to stoke your fears, like feeding an ever-growing flame by placing more wood in the pile. He makes you so paranoid that you aren't even sure if being around him is safe. He assures you being around him is the only safe place. He subtly threatens to take his protection away if you disobey him.

ꨄ︎ You don't interact with Winter. You actually aren't allowed to. Kai expressly forbids it because he's afraid his sister might make you queer. Sure, you are allowed to look at her and maybe make small talk if she is around you and Kai, but she isn't allowed alone with you—ever. Kai just can't risk it. He knows how tempting women can be, and he can't let his precious little lamb be tempted by his sister.

ꨄ︎ He begins integrating you into F.I.T. even though you are unaware. You don't exactly know what it's called, but everyone seems to treat you kindly. Not too kindly, though; Kai doesn't want your affections to be given to one of his ungrateful, pathetic followers. This is really the first touch of human interaction you have had in months, other than Kai, of course. It's like a new breath of fresh air. You may refuse to leave the house and Kai's side, but at least you have more people to talk to. It's like torture when Kai leaves you all alone. No one else is allowed around you, not that you know that. You only know that they seem to distance themselves almost purposefully, even methodically. It's like Kai is ripping your very heart out of your chest and taking it with him when he leaves.

ꨄ︎ Sometimes it's even worse when his 'friends' are around. He acts all aloof and distant with you. He calls you slut, whore, little one, and worst of all—sweetheart. Whenever he calls you sweetheart, you know you have messed up around the others. During their meetings, you are forced to sit in his lap. Most of the time, he forces you to straddle his waist. If you speak or even squeak, he'll scold you in front of everyone. You always end up having hickeys on you the day after. You always have some sort of hickey or bruise on you. He'll occasionally kiss you on the neck during these meetings. At first, you were uncomfortable. You tried to confront him about it, and he brushed you off.

"You like it, don't lie. You like all of the attention on you. You are my little slut after all."

You wanted to argue, but he had a way of making you speechless, so flustered that you became light-headed. After that, you didn't argue much on the subject.

He doesn't actually allow you to listen, either. He makes you wear these stupid ear plugs that make you feel so idiotic. You only know he scolds you because that's when he takes the earplugs out. He calls these meetings his 'private business'. You don't press him on it because he's already done so much for you. Someone out there is stalking you. Kai is keeping you safe. It's the least you can do to stay out of business; he doesn't want you in.

ꨄ︎ If you are good during these meetings, he rewards you with an outing. You have to stay by him the entire time. That is one of the unspoken rules of being with him. However, that's not really a problem for either of you. That's pretty much the only time that you are outside. He doesn't outright say it's a 'date', but that's what it is to him. You may not know it, but you two are practically married in his eyes. He just has to train you some more. You need to be entirely dependent on him—submissive, feminine, and motherly. That's all he wants. He has given you so much. He just needs to take a little from you. It isn't that big of a deal.

ꨄ︎ You first witnessed Kai's true cruelty when he stapled that poor man to death. You pinkie promised him that you would stay by his side. You pinkie promised that you wouldn't run. So you stood there and watched, and everyone took turns stapling him in the head. The blood gently dribbled down his face, almost peaceful—in complete contrast with the monstrous act being committed.

He made you kneel before him. He swiped a strip of the oozing blood off of the man's face. He stuck his finger in your mouth and made you lick it off. He asked if you were truly devoted to him as he planted the last staple in the back of the guy's neck. He asked again, his voice more alluring than any song a siren could sing.

"Are you completely and utterly devoted to me?"

You said yes. Why wouldn't you?

"Prove it."

He stood above you with the staple gun discarded on the floor. That night was a lot different than all the other times you 'proved' yourself to Kai. It was much more passionate and tender. You were unable to even move from your spot. It was like nothing else existed except you and Kai. It was addicting. You needed more of him, even more than before.

It was like that night he had cast a spell on you that stripped away any personality or ideals you had from your previous life. He had broken every part of you. You were now repurposed clay. You were made into a brand new clump for him to mold with his skilled and nimble fingers. You will be his greatest creation yet, for you are completely and utterly his—forever.

ꨄ︎ However, while molding, he's careful not to be too harsh with you. In a way, it's the gentlest and most honest part of Kai you will ever see. You see the moments when he has flashbacks to those times. You get to see when his shoulders heave due to the overwhelming anxiety he feels. You see the few tears that slip from his face. Part of him feels that you have earned this part of him. Another part wants to push those feelings so deep down into the darkness of his soul that they never have a chance of getting out.

ꨄ︎ You'll only see it in subtle ways. At night, he won't force you to snuggle with him, but he'll urge you to. He'll wrap his arms around you and gently whisper about how he'll protect you from all the bad things in this world. It's true on some level. All of this is truly for you. He just can't show his love like a normal man. One thing is for sure—he promises to never be a man like his father. He shakes when he thinks about him, his muscles tightening and his breath shortening. It makes him want to hold you in his embrace forever. To kiss you like it's the last thing he'll ever know. That small and hidden part of him craves your loving touch. That part just wants to be coddled and told he's a good boy. Just telling him you're proud of him is enough for him to drag you off to the bedroom.

ꨄ︎ He makes you pinkie promise. Naturally, you have to tell him everything first—your fears, your fantasies, and how much you love him. He finally speaks a bit of his past. It's the first time you see him breakdown. The first time he has a genuine emotional response. The mask slips only for a moment, but you're hesitant. You know, sometimes he manipulates you—maybe. That's what one of the others told you before they were killed. Still, it seems real, and it feels real. You can't imagine him telling anyone else such private things. He pulls you into a hug and rocks you back and forth. He sticks his face in the crook of your neck greedily. He treats you like you'll disappear with one blink of his eyes.

"You aren't ever allowed to leave me, darling."

He's gritting his teeth, and suddenly the Kai you know all too well is back. From time to time, you can't help but wonder: How much of old Kai influenced new Kai to be so helplessly entranced by your very presence?

ꨄ︎ No part of you is hidden from him. No part of your body is left unseen or explored. There is no part of your personality that he hasn't memorized. There isn't any memory that he hasn't plucked from your head already. If you remember anything, even the most mundane, you are under strict orders to allow the words to fall from your lips—no matter what you were doing before. There are no 'boundaries', in most cases. Kai is an asshole, but he isn't that much of an asshole. If you've been a good little lamb, then there's no need to bring up painful memories. He wouldn't want his obedient servant to be plagued with fear of others in their heart. However, act bratty, and he has no qualms of making himself a new set of memories for you to gain PTSD from.

ꨄ︎ The first time his hold on you loosened a bit is something you won't ever forget. You were looking for him when you heard moaning. Meadow had gone missing earlier, and you were worried. You found her partially tied up, and your heart broke in two. Kai looked back at you with no emotion in his eyes. He simply dismissed you with a 'get out'.

You were so horrified that you quickly packed up and ran from the house. You snatched a stack of emergency bills that Kai always kept under his mattress. You slept in some shitty motel for a few nights. You planned on escaping to another state and starting anew. If you could just get a phone, you could call someone. Yet your heart was torn in two. Those tendrils of fear were wrapped so tightly around your mind that you were paralyzed with indecision. You love him, but he was cheating on you. He was supposed to protect you from the world! You forgot the most important lesson—to protect yourself from him.

You had multiple panic attacks each day while hiding in that motel. You feared stepping out of the door. You just couldn't do it. The 'what if' was too much. You knew that, rationally, no one was going to jump out and kill you. Right? Right...? RIGHT? You couldn't even open the door. Your hand reached the knob, and yet you couldn't open it. You just sank to the floor and continuously sobbed. You couldn't stop the feeling of dread and weakness.

What was he going to do when he found you? That thought had your head spinning. Your legs just gave out then and there. It was the one question that ran through your mind like a never-ending track carrying the train of your anxious thoughts.

You had to get breakfast delivered to your room. You had to wear your clothes for multiple days. You didn't have any toiletries except the ones provided by the hotel. You were too paranoid to even take a shower. You needed Kai. You still needed him. You couldn't even breathe correctly without him!

ꨄ︎ You finally broke down. It was like he knew you would. You went to that campaign of his. You were barely able to step outside, but the promise of seeing him made you more than eager to leave. Once you spotted him, all your fears seemed to melt away. Then you saw Meadow shoot him. Your heart broke again—she fucks him, and then she shoots him? Who the hell does this woman think she is?

You saw her turning the gun on herself, but you beat her to it. Another woman was screaming at the both of you. She took the gun. You just kept hitting Meadow. You don't know what came over you. All the bitter jealousy and hatred from that night just came up. You let it all out on her. Eventually, you heard a snap. That same woman was screaming at you and pointing the gun at your head. You killed Meadow. You snapped her neck. You felt good, in control. A part of you even liked it.

You didn't get to mull over it because the cops arrested that woman and led you away. You rushed up to Kai, who was on a stretcher. The emergency medical responders tried to push you away. Kai grabbed your hand and pulled you down onto him. With his other arm, he dug his nails into the side of your head. He sloppily made out with you until you were pulled away.

"It was all for you, baby. Come and ride in the ambulance with me. You've been bad—and you'll atone for your sins once I get better."

Those are the words he whispered in your ear. Your mixed emotions led you to feel so much, but how could you refuse? A moth is always drawn to a flame, just like you are always drawn to Kai. Hopefully, you won't get burned again by his lies and deceit.

ꨄ︎ Once he is home from the hospital and recovering, he chastises you. He screams, pushes things, and threatens you. He can feel actual tears filling his eyes at the fact that you tried to leave him. How dare you.

"Can't you see you worthless slut!? This has all been for you. I had to get Meadow out of the way for you and for us. Yet you run off to some shitty motel and hide there? You are pathetic."

Wait, he knew about the motel? Of course he did. He just wanted to allow you to make your own choice. Sure, he was going to drag you back to him anyway, but you coming back somewhat willingly just proves the control he has over you. It feels so good to have you twisted around his finger.

ꨄ︎ He makes you cut yourself because of this. It's a punishment that he often uses. He wants you to feel what he feels when you disobey him. Sometimes he cuts you himself. He teases the burning wounds and touches them. He kisses each one of them and licks the oozing blood leaving your veins.

He sees it as just another way for him to claim you. He feels that possessive urge inside of him cool when he sees the scars you have given yourself because of him. He enjoys cutting extra deep into your skin to hear those pained whimpers escape your sweet lips. He gets even happier when you get self-conscious about them. 'No, baby, you are so beautiful with those scars.' It's just another way to control you. You have to live off that praise from him, affirming your self-harming behaviors.

ꨄ︎ It evolves into a ritual. When he gets really pent-up, he cuts you up and drinks your blood. He tells you that's the most divine thing he's ever tasted. He kisses you and makes you taste yourself. He'll swirl your own blood around in your mouth with his tongue. He'll barely allow you to breathe. It's like it restarts his mind. He's calm after. He feels like a blank slate.

He once did it in front of his cult. You were sitting in his lap. You could feel him growing more livid and tense. He pulled out a pocket knife and gently knicked the side of your neck. He licked and kissed the blood away. He promised to give some of your blood to his inner circle if they all proved themselves to him. No, they aren't going to be allowed to touch your skin. They may drink from a vial. You are dreading the day that it becomes a normal practice within the cult.

ꨄ︎ That isn't the only punishment you'll get if you severely misbehave. He isn't against locking you in the basement and chaining you up. He'll deprive you of food and water and will only give his body to you as sustenance. Later on, he builds a metal cage in the basement. He uses it both for torture and to shove you in there if you are disobeying him. The cage is much worse than being chained to a wall. If you get chained to the wall, at least he'll let you near him. If you get caged, then some random follower of his just comes down and throws whatever shitty rations in between the bars. Most of the time the food isn't even edible—mold and other infectious diseases are tainting it. The little bit of water you get is wasted when they throw it on you.

By the time you are let out, you are malnourished and touch starved. Kai always makes sure to give the most heavenly aftercare. He whispers sweet nothings in your ear and tells you that this didn't have to happen; all you had to do was behave. He gives you a bath with rose petals, and he gets out the fancy lotions, oils, and shit that he can't even pronounce. He makes sure that you have a fresh pair of clothes and the best meal one can dine on. He even took it slow with you that night. He is passionate and loving.

It's a side of him you rarely get to see...

ꨄ︎ Sometimes you want to act bratty just to see if you can get brown-haired Kai to come out and play again. It's a treacherous game. One wrong behavior, and you may end up kneeling before him, cutting yourself up for his entertainment once again. You can just do little things to manipulate him just a tiny bit. You are his well-trained bitch that occasionally loosens their collar and nips at their owner playfully. You have learned how to manipulate from the best, after all. Most of the time, Kai understands your angle, but rarely can he be tricked into misunderstanding your true intentions.

ꨄ︎ Accidentally getting hurt can be one way to possibly soften him up. Although you do have a half chance of just being called a clumsy bitch by him. If it is someone else, accidentally or not, hurting you, not even the deities from the highest of heavens can save that person. He'll either beat them to death in the moment or plan their slow torture and subsequent death in the cage downstairs. After taking care of the filth, you may see a little bit of brown-haired Kai. He'll take care of any cuts or bruises and kiss your temple. You may or may not have paid that asshole five bucks so they could push you on the pavement and threaten you. You were scared to death that Kai would realize what you were doing, but it was more than worth it.

That's just one way that you can manipulate him into letting brown-haired Kai come out and play.

ꨄ︎ Another one is if you cook for him. If you make him a good manwich, dressed up all pretty with an apron on, he is melting inside. He has this starstruck and dopey expression on his features. It's quickly replaced by indifference, but he is elated internally. If you bake, then all bets are off for cult leader Kai. He's oddly sweet when tasting your sweets because it allows him to regress back to a state of almost childlike innocence. It reminds him of when his mom would bake things with him and teach him to bond with him. His father always thought it was making Kai soft and a sissy, but he refrained from making those comments most of the time.

When you bake those sweets, it's like a positive trigger for him. He'll take a bite and wrap you up in his arms. He'll gently pepper kisses on your face and compliment your skills. A little bit more of brown-haired Kai comes out. He almost seems shy, nervous, and unconfident. Kai doesn't even realize he is acting like this. He just feels safe, like he is home.

ꨄ︎ He puts tracking chips in all of your things after your first attempt to leave him. Anything and everything has some sort of chip in it. He secretly enjoys hand-sowing the chips into all of your clothes and undergarments. It feels so oddly intimate to him. It's just another way to claim you as his. It makes him feel all giddy inside. All the chips are waterproof and extremely durable. He has access codes to all of them and can connect to them through any device he has. If you try to escape one too many times, he will chip you on your inner thigh. That way, he can casually rub his hand over your plush thigh and press his thumb right over where he implanted the tracking chip. It's his favorite way of reminding you that you have no way out—no possible escape from his binding grasp.

ꨄ︎ It doesn't stop there, no. He puts cameras everywhere. Some are in hidden places; others are not. He enjoys just flipping through the cameras on his phone while listening to some idiotic citizen complain about something miniscule for the thousandth time. You were wearing his clothing, just sitting in your shared bed and watching your comfort show. You were enjoying yourself with that innocently lewd expression adorning your now placid features. You just seemed like such a cute house spouse. He may have to excuse himself and go take care of a problem. What? You're just being so good for him. It makes him swell with pride.

ꨄ︎ If you are good enough, then he may allow you the privilege of having internet access. Of course, he is monitoring it. When he is in a good mood, he will act like he is your sugar daddy. Which he technically is, because he pays for everything and you are physically incapable of stopping him. Your wishlist is his. He keeps a list in your file about the types of gifts you like.

You may just occasionally be surprised with the same exact thing that you had favorited awhile ago. You know it's always Kai doing it because he always buys some lacy or risqué for you to wear. He gifts you; you gift him with your body. Lingerie is just human wrapping paper, after all. He enjoys the present under the wrapping the best.

He also scrolls through the media you watch. Any political content has a parental lock on it. It has to be approved by him before he allows you to watch it. If there is something intriguing that you decided to watch when you thought you had privacy, Kai may just barge in and ask if you'd like to recreate it.

ꨄ︎ If you get a period... Kai will track it. He will always make sure you have the right period products, foods, and medication. No, nuh uh—he swears he isn't doing it because he just genuinely cares and doesn't want to see you in pain he didn't cause. He's doing it because he can't have the future parent of his messiah baby harming their womb. It wouldn't be responsible if the divine ruler didn't treat your fertility with the respect it deserves.

You're probably a lot luckier if you are able to get a period. He's a lot more lenient with you. He'll allow you to have mood swings and crying fits. He'll let you eat all the chocolate and sweets you want, as long as you eat the balanced meals he provides. He'll treat you like a god(dess) during that time. When no one is around of course. He completely focuses on your happiness and pleasure during that time.

ꨄ︎ When he gets arrested, you have another panic attack. You had finally settled into a comfortable routine with him. You had succumbed to Stolkhome syndrome. You were just content with it. Your anxiety and fears were still higher than ever, but Kai protected you from all the bad things. Now, the bad men want to take him away from you? You get interviewed many times. You refuse to speak. They call you a victim of his manipulation. They see your scars, and after a doctor gives you a physical examination, they conclude that Kai is an absolute monster. They had to give you anesthesia for the physical examination. It was the only time you talked with any of the police or detectives. It was more like shouting than talking. You thrashed, twisted, and turned to escape them.

In this way, it just proved that Kai was right. They said you were brainwashed by him. No, you weren't. Kai saw the truth in the corrupt institutions. They violated your boundaries for no good reason. Kai violated your boundaries, but for good reasons. You deserved it when he crossed them.

ꨄ︎ They declared you mentally unwell and put you in a mental hospital. You went willingly only because you wanted to be away from the scary people. You only got newer and scarier people. They made you strip, and you had to be constantly watched. It made you yearn for Kai's safety and control.

You lied to get out of it. You said that you were scared to cooperate at first. You weren't brainwashed by him. You were only acting like it because you feared him. They believed you, and within a month, you were out of there. They put you on anxiety and anti-depressants. They urged you to also get a therapist to work through your trauma.

ꨄ︎ You disregarded them. You didn't need therapy! You didn't need some bullshit medication! That's what Kai always said. The medication and psychologists were just there to warp your mind. They aren't there to help you. They are there to make you conform into what society believes is 'mentally well'. You just have a little problem. It's all just fake. Kai would tell you if you had problems. He helps you out. He keeps you safe. He'll tell you what to do.

ꨄ︎ You helped him escape prison. Naturally, it was hard to get in to visit him because some of the guards had heard whispers of what Kai had done to you. With a little bribe, you managed to secure a monitored conversation with him. He threatened the guard, and suddenly your conversation wasn't monitored anymore. Kai was so unbelievably proud of you. He was so proud of how loyal you are. He rewarded you for such a good job. He remarked you with hickeys and bruises, so people know who you belong to once again. He possessively rubbed circles into your inner thigh over your tracking chip. You wouldn't let the bad men take it out, and because of a lot of red tape, they legally couldn't do it without your consent. It just made him ready for another round. How did he get so lucky to have a person like you who loves him so dearly? A lot of abuse, manipulation, and Stockholm syndrome.

ꨄ︎ As you sit on his lap in one of the visitation rooms, he formulates a plan with you. Soon enough, you are dressed in a guard's uniform and stressed out of your mind. You were barely able to help him escape. Your hands were shaking the entire time. You must have taken over half of the bottle of that stupid anxiety medication just to get through it. You were a little out of it and threw most of the pills up after.

Kai had to punish you for taking medication you weren't allowed to. He just worries about you, okay? They almost got his little lamb. He couldn't have your personality numbed by any 'medication'.

ꨄ︎ It all climaxes when he confronts Ally while she is running for senator. It was all such a blur. One moment they were arguing, and the next Beverly tried to kill Kai. You managed to tackle her and wrestle the gun out of her hands before she shot him. You got shot instead, in the gut. The next few months are extremely hazy for you. You kept going in and out of a coma. When you awoke, a lot had changed in Kai's world, but you remained ever-present.

ꨄ︎ You learned that Winter was gone. You didn't feel much. You didn't get to learn the details of it. It could have been way before you were even aware. Kai always kept you out of the loop about those things. He said it was to protect your pretty little head. You listened to him. You'd always listen to your divine ruler. Kai managed to slander Ally and turn everyone's opinion around. Suddenly, Ally was the one who had abused you and fed you all these lies about Kai. She was arrested and sentenced to death. Beverly met a worse fate. She was brutally mutilated in the same way that your, you forget, you had a stalker once—didn't you? You can't exactly remember.

You know Kai had a hand in it. He always has a hand in everything.

You learned that he truly was a cult leader. Your memories were so repressed and damaged that you were unable to connect the dots. You were overjoyed that Kai won the senatorial seat. He was heading towards the presidential seat next. With that, he had you married. A ring on your finger, forever. A divine ruler did need his spouse. It is crucial.

ꨄ︎ He made sure that you recovered and were right by his side while campaigning. He had a book ghost written for you about how evil Ally Mayfair-Richards was and how a vile feminist cult twisted your mind. Most of it was just sugar-coated lies. Kai's abuses were in there, but they were all said to just be minute things that Ally spun into a defaming web of lies.

He campaigned with you and made sure that all of your clothing was appropriate. He only let you show your scars when it would win him polling points. He still wanted the cutting to be just a you and him thing. He didn't need the press to see the fresher scars and cuts and run a slander campaign against him.

His possessiveness did occasionally overpower his need to dominate the world. He would always keep a hand on your waist, have at least one eye on you, and scare anyone off that tried to get too close to you.

ꨄ︎ It climaxed when he realized he needed to push family values. So he announced your pregnancy during an interview on some right-wing news platforms. You were understandably confused. You aren't pregnant. Kai plans on fixing that. All day and night, he is trying to fill your womb. He is so desperately making it so you will have his heir. Part of it is just publicity. Another wants his messiah baby really badly. He needs to baby trap you so you don't ever leave him. He needs to ultimately mark you as his. What better way than a child? The miniscule brown-haired part of him just wants to be a better father than his own. He just wants to be a better husband for you than his father ever was. He wants to make his mama proud, wherever she is in the afterlife. You wouldn't deny him this, would you? You've already given him so much. Just a little more, and he'll be satisfied. To think this all started with your silly little Reddit post.

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⟿ taglist: @coentinim @bluerthanvelvet444 @cxndiedvi0lets @doll3tt33 @lacucarachapisser @etheral-moon @fear-is-truth @slutforgarlogan @newwavesylviaplath @fuckedbykai @violet1737 @marchsfreakshow

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#american horror story #yandere #ahs #ahs cult #kai anderson #kai anderson x you #yandere kai anderson #kai anderson x reader #yandere kai anderson x reader #yandere american horror story #yandere american horror story x reader #ahs headcanons #yandere headcanons #ahs yandere headcanons #headcanon #my headcanons #ahs fanfiction

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homocrafting · 5 months

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do you ever think about whatever the hell is going on with Impulse and Etho in the life series. like what is up with that

imagine you're ethoslab and you're playing this new death game for the first time. people are making alliances, and there's a war brewing- you know what side you're on. You're with the King, you are one of his men, and you live in a wool castle with your ally, the closest to you if only due to physical proximity. he doesn't come home a lot, but that's fine. You're still close.

Then the castle burns, more than once, and you really should have expected that. With time you'll start seeing burning houses as a sign, maybe a metaphor, but not now. You aren't yet aware of your penchant for bases susceptible to fire. You're more worried about your things.

Then the war hits, and you're not sure when, but you realize this guy- the one who was on your side, the one who lived with you- has turned on you. Is it turning on you if he was never on your side at all? But you thought you were friends, so it kind of hurts when he's the one who takes your last life.

The second time you do this he's not your friend at all- he chose the south, and that's alright with you. Your team is, frankly, the best. You have a best friend who might be something more, and though you have no castle, he helps you build a snow fort. Things are good. Then they aren't so good anymore, but you make them good again, even if at the expense of your other teammates. To you he matters more, so you keep him close.

You don't think of him much, the guy who betrayed you and killed you. Maybe you should have, but you have better this time.

Until he helps spawn that wither, and then it all comes crashing down, and in the end you choose being a survivor over being a friend. In the end, you can't give your life to a dead man. In a way, he killed you again.

The third time you don't quite believe it when your best friend is soulbound to him. Your best friend says they're happily married; you ask him if he's sure, he says of course he's sure, and that's how he takes you best friend from you twice.

You're not sad with your soulbound- it's a new experience, you never talked to him much before. This time your ally is the one who builds a base. No one wastes any time in pointing out how flammable it is. You both know it will burn soon enough.

But when it does you burn the whole world down with it, and in the end you both team up with your best friend and the one who killed you in more ways than one. You think he's happy, though. You kind of wish he weren't.

They betray you again. The portal's trapped, it couldn't have been anyone but them. It feels fitting, that you burn too. It's the third time he takes your life.

(If you asked he would tell you it wasn't them- your best friend would tell you they would never, and you'd believe the latter but not the former. You never ask.)

The two of you are there for the fourth round, too. By now you know how these games work. You ally with the people you were with when you truly first met your best friend, except this time he isn't there.

This time, you look at him- at the man who's killed you twice, now- and he looks back. You know he's not sorry. You aren't either.

He asks you about your cows, if you want to combine forces. You aren't fully sure what it means when you accept it, this feeling you get, but it doesn't feel wrong when you're allies. You know what he is- he's one to play from all sides, he's a traitor, he's your ally, he's the one with the backup plan, he's the reason you've died so many times. He's resourceful, he's smart, he's tricky, he's the type to pretend he's less than he is.

You can never fully trust him, but vaguely, you know he doesn't want that. You cheer for him, when he's the last of your team standing.

You aren't sure what to think of him, when you see him in the fifth game, but you know and he knows, so you guess it's fine.

#impulsesv #impulse #etho #ethoslab #trafficblr #life series #ecstra explosions #I FORGOT MY GODDAMN WRITING TAG #uhhhh. fuck it new one #ecstra content #that'll do. proabably #anyway this got a littls out of hand I had Not meant to make it dramatix but I think that one Bee fic with cleo and etho changed my brain-#-chemistry so you get this! I guess!#not sure if it's read more worthy but I hate clogging dashes so #anyway I find it crazy no one talks about them. like girl what. how are you not seeing all this #shoutout to The People for being my most based friend ever and also thinking about them

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thestormthatrises · 1 year

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Y'all, you ever just get assaulted by the idea of how devasting it would be for the rest of the world if SQH actually took care of himself, three meals a day and 8 hours of sleep sorta deal? How minds would be blown?

Because like, I have this headcanon that every peak lord has a different kind of beauty, yeah? Like SQQ has this very cold, ethereal beauty. And LQG has this very sharp, intimidating beauty. YQY has this very warm, confident beauty, beautiful big bro beauty. WQW has this rugged and debonair sort of beauty and so on and so forth.

And SQH, underneath all of the stress and sleepless nights, is the most adorable, endearing, cute person in the world. He's that cute that makes people go feral, like honest to God cute aggression.

So can you guys imagine like, let's say that SQH has a minor but very acute qi deviation because of how hard he works, yeah? It's not SJ level but enough for MQF to put his foot down and whisk his shixiong away to his peak and very politely forcing him to be taken care of So SQH can't do anything but rest, eat well, take some sun for that good vitamin d for his depression and chill.

(MQF has some close calls with SQH, of course. Some disciples that need their Shizun back. Some demons that don't understand they can't just teleport in and Try to steal his shixiong away. But because MQF has had plenty of training with SQQ and LBH, he perseveres)

Queue a couple of weeks later and SQH is getting some weird ass looks and doesn't understand why! Is there something on his face? He looks at his reflection more often His cheeks are rounder and pinkish but they look clean enough. Was it because he put on weight? His clothes aren't hanging off of him anymore... But MQF said it was a good thing.

Was it his hair? He thought it looked good. With nothing to do for all those weeks, he had thought That he had managed the bird's nest he had been saddled with. MQF and his head disciple had said it looked nice... Were they lying?

Look as he might, he can't find stuff that's too wrong with his face. So why are people staring at him like that?

....

And not just staring. They're acting weird too!

Like! Like! He went to talk to LQG about his peak going over the budget and the man looked like he would kill him. And then! When he finally managed to get his shidi to agree in keeping the costs down, he smiled, thankfully And LQG punched the table between them, breaking it in half! Like WTF, bro!

He thought they were cool now, after SQQ married Bīnghé!

Guess he was wrong...

Speaking of his son! He was weird too!

SQH'S body had decided to betray him after so many years. Just because he had shown weakness.

He couldn't go three hours without food anymore. Real food too! His adored melon seeds did nothing for the growling beast in his stomach.

Such a traitor! Didn't his body know he had a job to do? Aiya!

So imagine his embarrassment! His shame! When waiting for a weird acting Cucumber bro, his stomach growled noisely near LBH! WTF!

SQH looked down, apologetic, cheeks red with shame, and askes to be forgiven by Junshang.

The look LBH gave him was so deadly that he thought his days were numbered. But when Airplane thought LBH was going to give him the final strike, he merely got up and left his Shishu to wait alone.

Normal right?!

But then! When he was talking to SQQ, who was a lot More bitchy than usual, LBH brought snacks for his beloved. Usual, right?! NO!

For the first time in his life, LBH placed some of the plates in front of SQH! And two cups for the same pot of tea! Bīnghé usually made two pots of tea for them, one with the really good stuff for SQQ and one so and so for SQH!

And people might think he was insane! I mean, maybe the table was small, right? He had to place the snacks for Shizun near the other peak lord because there was no room but NO! There was so much room!

And to top it all off, after. While of just drinking tea, LBH asked why wasn't he eating??? WTF!!

He looked helplessly to SQQ but the traitor just arched a brow at him. Was this some sort of game? Was the food poison??

"Eat, shidi"

SQH had lived a... Life, right?

It wasn't the best life but it had been a life. Who knew it would end like this?

SQH ate the food. It was delicious. The soft exterior of the bun melted in his mouth giving way to the savory meat inside. It was the best food he ever had. It was heaven.

Ok.

He could die for this.

But as he happily ate, he must've done something! Because SQQ struck his head with the guard of his fan, waking him up from his bliss.

"What was that for?" He asked, heartbroken.

But Cucumber didn't answer. He merely grumbled about his stupid face and to just eat and shut up.

Weird, right??

And then he had been getting these-- things! They looked like gifts from his martial siblings but-- but that did not make any sense! They never, ever given him anything but work.

And at first he thought they were normal, yeah? He thought, for example, when WQW had given him a Very beautiful and blessed dagger that he wanted more of the ore that made it and told him he would see what he could do. When he managed to find the budget for it and purchase the ore,his shixiong had the nerve to ask him why he bought it!

SQH showed him the dagger and WQW had the gall to laugh at him and told him to keep it. Like it was a gift or something??

WTF??

But worst of all! Worst than all this weird crazy nonsense, was his king!

If MBJ had been needy, demanding, and spoiled before, it was nothing compared to now.

Now, MBJ demanded his full attention when they talked, looking him dead in the eye like he was trying to pick out a lie. Or when they sat, he pulled SQH to his lap like he was going to run away. Or get made when those weird not-gifts started to pile up in his house.

He had the sneaking suspicion that his king broke some of them too.

Aiya!

And because SQH'S body was a traitor now, not only did it need food like all of the time, it needed sleep too! He was now falling asleep on his king's lap all the time. So rude!

He tried to get MQF to deal with this weirdness but his shidi only said that it was normal.

And then patted his head! Like... Like--like he was a kitten or something!

WTF?!

#I don't know AKDHSKDHHZSHH I just have this need for people to react to and see SQH as I do XD #ALSO! Can you guys imagine MBJ fighting this covert war with everyone that now see SQH as cute??#I need that Moshang nation. I *need*#Moshang #mobei jun #shang qinghua #SVSSS #saving shit from my twitter #since elon pussy man musk suspended me for calling him a stupid bitch

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sydmarch · 1 year

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for a couple days i've been wanting to post about the coin operated viewers & my thoughts there but kept getting distracted by other writing until earlier today @frogean asked me about my thoughts on the fishing village wrt; why would evrart gentrify a village full of people who can't afford to live elsewhere when he seems to genuinely care about martinaise, is the thing with the signatures just a ploy to see if harry's trustworthy, etc. & since thoughts on the fishing village tie back into my thoughts on the coin operated viewer i'm just gonna make one big post on both topics.

quick note before i start rambling here: the point of this post is NOT to come to a "evrart's actions w the fishing village good" or "evrart's actions with the fishing village bad" conclusion or to justify said actions. i'm strictly interested in digging into evrart's motivations behind it all & what i imagine was going on in his head while making these decisions.

first - to discuss why evrart involves harry in this whole thing. yeah i do think it's pretty likely that it IS primarily a test of his trustworthiness. I get the feeling that if the signatures were really as central to evrart's plans as he makes them out to be he would NOT leave it to harry to take care of it (even if we assume the most cooperative w evrart version of harry) just wouldn't see him him truly trusting a cop with a task like that ESPECIALLY not when kim's involved and evrart is very obviously aware that kim does not trust him. & harry is very well aware of the possibility that evrart is playing him:

as for why evrart chose this errand specifically as a test for harry, i can't say definitively. maybe this task was chosen because in addition to being a good general test of harry's trustworthiness, evrart wanted to get a real idea of what harry's opinions on this plan are? maybe the signatures really aren't actually important in the grand scheme of things like logic suggests? maybe the signatures are only unimportant because evrart has the letter intercepted? he does explicitly state he's friends with the mail man

so it could very well be the case that if you forge the letter he DOES know about it but doesn't let on that he knows (i feel like it's very likely he knows about the forgery especially, if doom spiral signs it out in the open rather than harry passing the forgery check & doing it in private??). also worth considering where you're mailing it to:

like it's going to evrart's account, not some neutral third party. so any of those things could factor into why he sends harry on this errand. I think it's more likely that if he REALLY just needed the signatures that evrart would've had some of his union guys get on it - although there's also the possibility evrart decided having rcm officer ask for the signatures on his behalf could be advantageous to getting the documents signed. another possibility is that evrart picked up on harry's can opening abilities & thought that having not just an rcm officer but HARRY specifically on the task might be advantageous, in addition to being a good test of his loyalty with those failsafes in place for if harry betrayed him on this one. so yeah i do suspect it WAS at least partly/primarily a test but don't feel like i can say FOR SURE if that's all there is to it & would be interested to hear anyone else's thoughts on this topic.

second - to get into the village situation itself & the coin operated viewer. throwing this screenshot up for some context:

I think it's really interesting how kim disapproves of evrart interfering with this "revitalization project" while also disapproving of evrart's actions with the village (again it all comes back to kim just implicitly distrusting evrart but i find the above especially interesting):

not going to rehash my thoughts on evrart's feelings about/intents for martinaise as a whole here even tho it's relevant to bear in mind but one aspect of that topic i DO think is worth mentioning specifically when it comes to discussing evrart's plans for the fishing village is that (if we take him at face value with the following, & for the purposes of this analysis i'm going to go with that interpretation) yes, evrart IS planning to use the construction noise to push the residents out of the village, but he isn't doing so thoughtlessly or without a plan on where they will end up:

& i DO believe this is his genuine intent because it's in line with his characterization when you consider how he keeps rene, gaston, & leo on the payroll. especially rene where he doesn't just keep him on the payroll where so that he can get by without his pride being wounded too much - he had the guard booth built specifically for rene. it wouldn't make sense for someone who DOES look out for members of his community to this extent to not extend similar consideration to the villagers.

i don't think evrart views his actions with the youth center as gentrification (again i will not be discussing if it actually IS or not - all of this is just my speculation on evrart's own interpretation of things) at least not in the same way that i imagine he viewed the revitalization project in '49. from evrart's perspective he grew up in martinaise, knows everything about the district, has the best interest of the people at heart etc, so why WOULD he allow some design studio to come in and start putting up tourist attractions?

i mean, they're putting up coin operated viewers & that horse statue meanwhile people are living in buildings on the verge of collapse? that kind of revitalization in all likelihood WOULD lead to gentrification and displacement. evrart doesn't want the people living in the village displaced - he wants them properly housed, to have prospects, to live in a district that's more than just a post war ruin. now whether he's actually going about achieving that the right way or not & if the villagers would agree with him here is a whole different topic but yeah.

#SORRY THIS IS SO LONG LOL like i said earlier when you asked about this. i have a lot of thoughts on the subject #texticles #de #disco elysium #evrart claire

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 10 months

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after i saw that dave lee post last month, i got really invested...... any headcanons about dave lee being bffs with alternate y/n??

Oh I'm glad you're invested!!! This is more of how they meet and stuff but yeee

.....

You first met Dave by masquerading as a random person under the pretense of looking for "work".

In reality, you learned MandelaTECH has been holding recovered footage/tapes from incidents related to Alternates and you just wanted to check them out.

But when you arrive (after hiding many of your flawed characteristics the best you could), Dave nearly kicks you out before you could even say a word to him.

"No. Get out. You are banned from here."

"What...?"

"That's right. Banned with a capital "B"."

"...why, may I ask?" You were convinced he somehow saw through your disguise so quickly, but what he said next reveals otherwise.

The complete opposite, in fact.

"You know what you did, [random name]. You can't just show up here as if nothing ever happened." He talks you down like a stern dad, eyebrows furrowed with disappointment.

You're incredibly lost. "Remind me again what I did wrong?"

"You seriously forgot that you were snooping backstage? Looking through the tapes that were specifically labeled for my eyes only? I called you and you wouldn't tell me if you watched any of them. You just...didn't seem to care."

At this point, you realized that you've accidentally disguised as one of his ex-employees--one who had a really bad falling-out with him.

"I tried to be a cool manager, but...I trusted you not to go back there. And yet you did anyways and told me I was "the worst" when I had to let you go. I was kinda hurt." He sounded quite sad and betrayed, and it made you feel bad.

"...I'm..sorry D--Mr. Lee. But I really need a job and..I couldn't find anything else in town that was hiring." You feigned guilt. "I'll make it up to you. I won't speak of anything I might've seen in that box. From now on my eyes will be...up front."

"...and?" He raises an eyebrow.

"And....I...think you're actually really cool. Whatever I said that day was out of frustration. It...wasn't how I truly felt."

"........alright. You get one more chance."

Thus Dave "rehires" you on the spot, although he did take notice of your flawed features throughout the week--with you labelling them as things from "accidents".

Besides that, it's not a bad job. Although out of respect, you abstained from peeking into that box of tapes he mentioned.

There comes a point where you have to reveal yourself as an Alternate--and it's when your disguise was literally falling apart at the seams and not even your MandelaTECH hoodie could hide them.

So you morphed into your basic form after the store closes for the night, speaking to Dave in your actual voice.

"Forgive me for deceiving you, David...but I, [y/n], am-"

"Oh I knew for a while. But you had me fooled the first few days."

"...and yet you didn't panic?" You blink. "If you knew all along, why didn't you-?"

"I mean, you took the blame for my ex-employee and...I gotta thank you for that. I don't think they would've genuinely showed up from the way they spoke to me. You apologized on their behalf, and...that's not what I'd expect from an Alternate. So maybe you guys aren't all that bad...maybe."

"I confess my disguise was random. I did not think they were a former employee of yours. But....does this mean I can still work here?"

"Yeah. You're good. I only ask that you uh....don't tamper with that box I mentioned. It's all highly confidential stuff that the lieutenant trusts me with. I-I mean...I know I can't actually stop you but-"

"No, no. You have my word, David." You smile.

It's not long after that when he befriends you, rather than act as your employer.

If he's working alone in the shop, you'd keep watch over him from the shadows, making sure nothing harmed him (be it the rare rude customer or other Alternates).

You do learn he's been restoring the lost tapes, holding files of Murray's TA report, and keeping some outlawed TVs backstage, but you ensured no Alternate can interfere with any signals on them.

And Dave's just 100% chill about it.

Though when he hires Evelin he just tells her not to worry about the weird shadow in the corner.

#clanask #anonymous #mandela catalogue x reader #tmc x reader #dave lee #alternate y/n #alternate reader #platonic #headcanons

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sarnai4 · 1 month

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Teamwork

This is going to sound a little odd given how some of my previous posts mentioned Viggo being very dismissive of Dagur...BUT I'm going to throw this idea out there. Imagine Viggo and Dagur as actual business partners/crime buddies. (Spoilers ahead)

Now, just hear me out. They are extremely different, yes, but I think their strengths balance the other's weaknesses. Let's consider Viggo. His biggest flaw is what I like to somewhat affectionately call his Viggo ego. The man is cocky to a new level. He couldn't even imagine someone betraying him, not him because he's the genius Viggo Grimborn. He can tell Dagur to follow orders and that he's dumb and he'll do nothing. Oops, okay, he did something. Viggo can ridicule his brother time and time again and Ryker will obviously do nothing to him because who can, right? Well, Ryker apparently can turn on him. Hmm, weird. Okay, for real this time, no one else can try to touch him. Dang it, Krogan and Johann! Just had to try to kill the guy. Don't you know that no one can go against Viggo? He's amazing. Well, that's the thing, he is, but he's so aware of that fact that he sets himself up for failure by not even considering real dangers as threats. It's really Viggo's only weak area. Besides that, he's incredibly strategic, level-headed, cool, charismatic, etc. He just needs to balance out that arrogance of his. I think Dagur could help him with this.

Despite Dagur definitely being a cocky guy too, he's nowhere near Viggo's level. To put it in perspective, the guy didn't even fight back after getting choked out because he didn't want to mess up his plan. He never said anything when the Grimborns mocked him and he also let Alvin think he was in charge back in DoB. This is the type of influence Viggo needs in his life. If he's willing to listen, Dagur could help open his eyes to the people around him and how they aren't all on his side. Honestly, once Viggo doesn't have to worry about his "allies" trying to kill or betray him, he's pretty much good. That removes about 70% of his problems. Even just in the two interacting, Dagur could probably help Viggo gain some humility and learn to not underestimate people. It would be difficult for the crime boss to accept that someone like Dagur is actually smart, so it would be an important first step for him to take. Afterwards, he could probably start opening his mind more to different forms of intelligence and not just assuming, "I'm better than you and you'll never stand a chance against me," when meeting someone.

Considering Dagur, I think his biggest weakness is his temper. No, not his mind. That's not fair and honestly not true. Him being deranged has led to him being unpredictable, a valuable trait when going up against people. He's also still very capable, so it's never held him back. His temper on the other hand. Woo. Yeah, that causes some issues. He gets angry over tiny things and just cannot function anymore. Dagur, if you stayed calm, you probably would've expected the tail to the face when Heather and the Riders left. Probably would've also not retreated in fury when the A Team showed up. This is how he had his first real loss against Hiccup back when they were kids because he was so angry at the provocation that he didn't pay attention and took him on with the Skrill, electrocuting himself. He had the advantage before that because of the numbers, but he reacted too hastily. Just have to get that temper under control.

Viggo is so calm and reasonable that I could see him helping with this. Even in times when he's lost, he can respect a game well played. There are times when he's lost his temper, but it's very rare and he generally keeps a cool head. Now, he'd need to not be condescending towards Dagur since that would make it worse, but I think he could be beneficial. Viggo getting through to Dagur, finding out why he actually gets so furious about things and helping him calm down/think things through when he's in one of those states would really help him out.

So, this friendship would definitely take time to work. It also might take some situations where they're forced to rely on each other first, but I think there's potential. Unfortunately, this would ultimately be to the detriment of the world because a Viggo who doesn't underestimate his foes and a Dagur who doesn't let his anger get the better of him are a deadly duo.

#HTTYD #RTTE #Dagur the Deranged #Viggo Grimborn #Theories #Friendship maybe?#Unstoppable force #Don't try to run and hide since it won't work

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sourbinnie · 10 months

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☆ cerca de ti.mp3 ☆

♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> angst ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> ot8!skz x gn!reader ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> the song they wrote when you left them + some moments and how it went down. ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> swearing ; smoking (weed) ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> nope

a/n: so i had this idea today and i wrote it all today because i wanted it out as soon as possible. i obviously get it if you don't like or think it's kinda odd? idk i really enjoyed this and the process of it so i hope yall like it too. it was kind of inspired by edits that i see on instagram where they make stray kids lipsync to latin songs, goddamn i love those. so yeah this is my take on how they would sing cerca de ti!

[ intro : chan & seungmin ] cerca de ti estaba bien y de tu vida me borré (close to you i was okay but of your life i got erased) y ella ante' no lo veía, pero sé que te fallé (but she didn't see it before but i know i failed you) y si ahora vuelves, te juro que no te vuelvo a perder (and if you come back, i swear that i won't lose you again) porque me di cuenta que muero si me alejo de tu piel (i realized that i die when i'm far away from your skin)

when they first started writing this song, only one thing would come to their minds and that was you. it wasn't your typical love song or even sad song but more of a mix of emotions that all the members were feeling condensed into one song. one they would call close to you, one that would express how much a certain person had changed them and their experiences with that individual.

chan at first didn't want to take a part in the song, he thought it was too soon, too much but the rest convinced him that it would be a good idea to let go with lyrics (it wasn't). when he wrote the first two verses of the introduction, he knew he was fucked and he was too deep now. when you decided to leave, he was the last one you saw and he got the final word, it didn't go well. he was too harsh and too egoistic to see what was happening in front of his eyes, the hate that blinded him was making him spill words that he didn't mean.

"(y/n) i don't think you're realizing what you're doing." he said almost as if you were betraying him and the boys as you packed your things. you thought this was the right choice all along and you weren't gonna get convinced, especially by someone who wasn't showing they cared or that they appreciate you in anyway (he did very much so in the end).

"what do you want me to do chan? to pretend everything's alright? god you guys really only think about yourselves." you said and it wasn't nice but it needed to be said. you've been left in the dust for way too long to care about other people's feelings, especially if it was the 8 boys you were referring to.

"rich coming from you, you act like we don't have a job. our lives don't revolve around you!" he exclaimed but it just made you roll your eyes. you weren't talking about that, you never even once mentioned their job because you knew how busy their schedules were but it just got to the point where they didn't show that they cared, that they loved you, that they wanted you. "if you leave, you aren't coming back."

"watch me." you said as you walked out the front door and out of their lives.

seungmin felt so lost without you, he got too used to your presence. he got used to your morning kisses, you preparing his lunch for work, how you would listen to him. the thing he missed the most was your body, not really in a sexual way, he just wanted to hold you. to feel your skin against his and plant a kiss on your cheek, he wanted to kiss your lips again and love you tenderly & softly.

he didn't think much of you leaving because he knew in the end you would come back to them. when you didn't for months, he lost hope and when the boys suggested writing, he was the first one grabbing a pen and a paper. he almost seemed desperate to get these feelings out of the way.

"you think they're gonna listen to it?" jeongin asked and the older didn't know how to respond. he wanted you to hear it, for you to process the words that everyone was singing. you were always so attentive towards their lyrics that it just made sense that if you heard it, you would want to contact them right?

"i hope so, this is our last shot i think." seungmin responded and jeongin nodded as he sat down next to him to write the lyrics. everyone needed to put in a bit of effort to make a team and for it to be put out.

[ chorus : chan, seungmin & jeongin ] y si fuera por mí, estaría cerca de ti, eh (and if it was up to me, i would be close to you) pero tengo que dejarte volar (but i gotta let you fly) supongo que es una parte dе amar (i guess it's a part of love) y si fuera por mí, estaría cerca dе ti, yeah (and if it was up to me, i would be close to you, yeah) pero tengo que dejarte volar (but i gotta let you fly) supongo que es una parte de amar (i guess it's a part of love)

vocalracha did the chorus, it just seemed right. jeongin finding the right words to go with the flow and chan's voice starting it were exactly what everyone was looking for. it was their way of showing they were letting go but not willingly because if it was up to all of them they would want to continue what they had with (y/n).

jeongin took it really hard when you left. like seungmin, he had hope that you would come back, that it might be a mistake or a joke in bad taste but it wasn't like that. he didn't even get to say goodbye, to tell you to take care of yourself. he wanted you so bad in every way that your presence not being there for him when he needed you the most was destroying him.

"hyung i wish i could talk to them. i'm so lost and i don't even know what to do." jeongin expressed, in the verge of crying because he just wanted you but he was stuck in the dorms not even knowing where you were.

"we gotta give them time innie, i know it's hard but we'll find a way." chan said as let the younger cry and let his worries out. even if he didn't feel like things were gonna get better, his hyung always had his back.

right now he was feeling less broken, more confident but he just wanted you to hear this song. even if you didn't want to, these were the things that needed to be said and expressed by the members. he felt like he was left in the dark, he was trapped and had no way out but right now he was seeing the light. when they were filming the music video, everything shined so bright and it took his breath away. if only you could be right there, right now.

[ verse 1 : jisung & minho ] cerca de ti fue que sentí que ya no había más na' malo (yeah-eh) (close to you i felt like there was nothing that could be bad) cerca de ti fue que sentí que ya no había más na' de amor (close to you i felt like there was no more love) sé que me fui lastimado (ey), dejaste en mí todo raro (i know i left hurt, you left everything weird in me) yo no sé cuándo estaré sano (i don't know when i'm gonna heal) pacas y pacas, todas las gasté, stop, ¿toda esa mierda pa' qué? (bags and bags, i spent them all. stop, all of that shit for what?) ya no me sirve fumar de la maría si no e' con vo' en el hotel (now i can't smoke the maria if it's not with you in the hotel) oh-oh, no me sirve fumar si no e' con vo' en el hotel (oh-oh, i can't smoke if it's not with you in the hotel)

jisung like he said, was left with a mix of everything. the weirdness that affected him when he wasn't by your side but the way you made him believe that he could be loved again lived within him. you showed him a new side of himself, way more careful and way more calm, one that brought peace everywhere he went. he carried that when he wasn't with you because he would go crazy if he didn't.

"you're kinda different today, i like the vibe." you said as you sat down next to him and he smiled, nodding. he couldn't explain the relaxation that invaded his body whenever he found himself in the same room as you. he couldn't let go of the feeling and yet at the same time he didn't want to.

"just wanted to be with you and enjoy the moment." he mumbled burying himself in you but then coming up to give you a sweet kiss. you smiled and pulled him closer as you made out on the sofa in the 3racha + hyunjin) dorms.

he found himself smiling at the memories and not looking back because he was confident this would catch your attention. maybe a little too cocky for his liking but he knew you all too well to know that this isn't the end but the start of something different.

minho wasn't a big smoker, yet this verse was a reminder of how fucked up you two got at the hotels when he was on tour. when he brought you along, he wasted all of his money on you and on pleasing you, whatever the baby wanted they would get. maybe he acted more like a sugar daddy and didn't realize but he couldn't care less because he wanted to spoil you rotten.

"dude are you smoking?" jisung asked him and he could just nod, of course jisung was only interested because he wanted to hop on the same train. "this is fucking harder than i thought it would be, everything i write is shit."

"i wrote my verses but i still feel like it's missing their approval." minho said laughing, a bit high already. jisung just laughed because his giggles were contagious. they would spend the whole night like this, just going back and forth with new bars but in the end settling down for the ones they had at first. there was a reason those were the first things they thought of, it was because they came out of the broken heart they were experiencing.

staying silent wasn't unusual for them but since they met you, you would always invade with your voice and say whatever you were thinking. now the silence was uncomfortable and they just wanted to hear your voice again.

[ verse 2 : changbin & hyunjin ; both ] miro pa' atrás y parece to' un chiste (i look back and it seems like a joke) yo sé que no daba y por eso te fuiste (i knew i couldn't do it and that's why you left) no sé qué le pa', no sé qué le diste (i don't know what's going on, i don't know why you gave) pero estoy nuevo, como si no exististe (but i am new like you never existed) y sé que si yo puedo, podría cualquiera (and i know if i can, anyone can do it) porque mi corazón era una heladera (because my heart was a fridge) ahora tropical entre cocos y palmeras (now tropical between coconuts and palms) con un recuerdo dulce de cómo eras tú (with a sweet memory of how you were) ah, de cómo eras tú, oh-oh-woh (ah, of how you were, oh-oh-woh) miro pa' atrás y parece to' un chiste (i look back and it all seems like a joke) yo sé que no daba y por eso te fuiste (i knew i couldn't do it and that's why you left) no sé qué le pa', no sé que le diste (i don't know what's going, i don't know what you gave) pero estoy nuevo, como si no-como si-como si- (but now i'm new, like you've never-)

changbin thought it was genuinely a joke when chan told them you weren't coming back. this is why the first lyric went like this and then they immediately thought of realizing why you left him. it's like he knew he had to accept that you were not gonna come back, that the situation got worse and that they left you behind (without wanting to). you didn't leave because you wanted to but because you had to, you were done with them.

he was the first to try to pretend like you didn't exist, like it didn't mean a thing to him that you left. while most of them were broken and trying to pick up the pieces, changbin decided to live in his new reality where he didn't even meet you. that lasted way too little for his liking since he got reminded of you everywhere he went.

"i feel like being without you makes me feel so fucking weird." he said one time to you and you raised your eyebrow at this. he wasn't one to usually get sappy but you welcomed this moments any time they happened. "okay i know i sound like a major loser but i love you."

"i love you more and you're not a loser for expressing your feelings binnie." your voice was engraved on his mind but he still craved to call you when he felt low. he knew leaving voice messages was weird to get it out since you blocked all of them but a man had to let it out somehow.

hyunjin thought his lyrics were so stupid but somehow he knew that's the way to go. if he wanted to capture your attention somehow, he wanted it to be in a cheesy line and make it seem like he was doing fantastic. yet when he thinks of the sweet memory of you, he's brought back to you, your perfume/cologne, your smile and your hugs. it felt like home every time you held him in your arms.

"hyunjin i feel like i'm drifting away from you guys and i'm scared." he remembers you said to him this one day and he was a bit shocked. he didn't feel like that at all but there had to be a reason why you were feeling like this and not overreacting right? he knew he had to talk it out with the other guys.

"no baby, we're here for you okay? i doubt anything is gonna happen." he said and now that he thinks about it, he should've done something, he should've held you closer and reassured you even more that nothing was gonna separate you from them. he didn't, he now regrets it every day because he missed you like crazy and there was no turning back.

but he knew he still had a chance to mend things, to at least have a way to contact you if you needed anything. he didn't want your last messages to be so sad, to be blocked in your phone forever 'cause you could never be blocked on his. it was stupid but he wanted to be in your life, even if it was the bare minimum.

[ verse 3 : changbin & felix ] ¿cuántas vece' te fallé? (how many times did i fail you?) sin contar la última ve' (without counting last time) pensando volverte a ver (thinking of seeing you again) cuando llego, yo te llamo y no respondes, baby (when i arrive, i call you and you don't answer, baby) me tiene' quemándome en tu fuego (you got me burning in your fire) todo' tu' problema' lo' resuelvo (all of your problems i solve them) como un boomerang yo siempre vuelvo (like a boomerang i always come back) tengo gana' de explorar tu cuerpo (i want to explore your body) ya me lastimaste, igual no aprendo (you already hurt me, i never learn) (ya me lastimaste, igual no aprendo) (you already hurt me, i never learn) (igual no aprendo) (still i don't learn)

felix didn't think he did things wrong, he didn't feel like your falling out was justified. yeah they made a mistake, he made a mistake but all the missed calls that night would haunt him forever. he wanted to see you, to talk to you, to know how you feel and what went wrong. he still couldn't understand it even if chan tried to explain it 100 times, he wasn't convinced. he wanted another chance and he would live in delusion of you coming back if he had to.

the last time he saw you, you two fought. he remembers it very clearly but he wants to forget it every day, he felt like it wasn't that bad. was he in the wrong? 100% but it didn't justify you walking out on them.

"(y/n) come on, you can't be serious. even if you do feel like that, it's nothing that we can't fix!" he said when you came to visit him to talk about how you were feeling. god he was such a fucking idiot, he should've just taken you seriously and the more he thinks about it, the more he cringes at how he reacted.

when you sighed and shook your head as you left, he was so blinded by hysteria that he didn't even look at you. he remembers telling changbin this and he knew he would get mad at him but he didn't care, if a lesson needed to be taught that he behaved in a stupid manner, he deserved it. it never arrived though, changbin understood that he wasn't in the right but he also missed the red flags so he couldn't blame his friend for taking this approach.

"i just want her back bin. this song is all i fucking have and it already feels like it's done for." felix expressed and changbin just patted him on the back as he looked at the lyrics his member wrote.

"i think we can do it though, i think everything will be alright in the end." the older said as he continued the song with his verse and together they made it work. changbin hugged him and held him close as the other one just lost himself in his hyung.

if there was a feeling worse than losing you, it was missing you felix thought.

[ chorus : chan, seungmin & jeongin ] y si fuera por mí, estaría cerca de ti, ah (and if it was up to me, i would be close to you, ah) pero tengo que dejarte volar (but i gotta let you fly) supongo que es una parte de amar (i guess it's a part of love) y si fuera por mí, no me correría de tu lado (and if it was up to me, i wouldn't be moved from your side) apretados, pero ya embarcaste (tightly but you already sailed away) di todo lo que tengo por vos, pero sé que yo fui un desastre [i gave everything for you, but i know i was a disaster)

he knew his members would eventually fight him because he was the last one that saw you. the confrontation was tough because even though everyone was fond of each other, the glue that tied them together was you when the situations got hard. chan knew he didn't handle the situation well, he knew everyone was disappointed in him and blamed himself for you leaving every day. he didn't want to feel like this but it was impossible when he was so cold and distant with his words and actions.

as a leader he should've known better, as a person he should've been better.

"hyung please don't blame yourself." seungmin said as he sat down next to him. he was the only one who didn't yell at him and yet he thought he deserved it but the youngest wouldn't do it. "it was long overdue that they were gonna leave us because of how they felt and all of the signs were there."

"yeah but i had my chance to stop it and didn't" chan expressed, rotten and bitter that he still had to put up a fight against himself. if he couldn't keep you, he wouldn't be able to keep anything, not like he cared since the only thing he wanted right now was to see you again.

"maybe you did but we can't keep on thinking that, we need to do something about it." seungmin said and chan nodded. he was right, he couldn't leave in the shadows forever, he couldn't keep on taking the bullet because it would only make it worse for him.

he really gave everything for you but it wasn't enough. even like he said, he was a disaster and there was no changing what went down or how it happened. there was only hoping that it would all heal and you would be able to continue what you once started. or maybe there would be a part where he would have to let go finally.

jeongin got lost in a train of thought when he had to say his verse. he got completely caught up in a moment that happened so long ago that all he could do was stare as he tried to say his lyrics but chan told him to start all over again.

"innie i know it's hard but i'm always here for you." you said and that should've been sweet but it wasn't because he responded the worst way possible.

"please go (y/n), i can't do this right now." he said and it made him physically recoil. like he could not understand why he was so distant, why he felt the need to talk to you like that and of course he remembers it now that he doesn't have a chance at all.

he was mad at himself not only because of that, because of everything they made you go through. maybe it was for the best that you went away because if you did stay, things would've gotten worse. but he wouldn't go without a fight as stupid and cliche as it was, he needed to fight for you and what your love was.

[ verse 4 : hyunjin, felix & minho ] sé que mucho arriesgaste, pero mirá al final (i know you risked a lot but look at the end) paso la noche viendo las fotos que tengo de los dos (i spent the nights looking at the photos i got from both of us) cara de póker cuando mi brother pregunta: "¿qué pasó?" (poker face when my brother asks the question "what happened?") yo solo estoy enfocado en ver cómo soltarte (i'm only focused on seeing how i let you go) bebé, no quiero perderte (baby, i don't wanna lose you) pero menos que me pierdas una oportunidad (but less that you make me lose the chance) eso significa no verte, fuck mi mala suerte (that means not seeing you, fuck my bad luck) tengo que aprender a soltar (i need to learn to let go)

minho remembers taking a picture of you, it was by the han river and you were making a peace sign. late at night when no one could see him and you didn't have to hide from the public. he wanted to keep you there forever, cherish you and make you feel loved.

"god i look so bad, delete it." you said and he just shook his head as he embraced you, giving you a tight hug. covering you with his coat as the wind blew near the water, it got suddenly colder. you accepted his tenderness and love as you laid your head on his shoulder.

"you look good all the time." he said, smiling and giving you a kiss on the forehead. you blushed as you looked up to meet his eyes and then suddenly closed them to meet him in a peaceful and lovely kiss that you would be sure to remember. well at least he still remembered and felt it from time to time.

"stop daydreaming." hyunjin said as he woke up minho from his daily session of reimagining things again and he sighed, annoyed by the others' presence but he knew they had to record their lines together. "It's all about letting go now like the lyrics say."

"yeah none of us are doing a good job at that." felix said as he walked in, his hair a mess and his voice raspier than usual. he knew he wasn't doing well but this was bottom of the barrel and he just didn't know how to take care of himself anymore.

"tired of saying we'll probably get a chance when i actually don't know." minho mumbled to himself but the other two catched it and nodded along. this was gonna be a tough act to put on but they needed to keep going till the end. a bad loser was one that wouldn't even show up, at least they were trying to win something out of this.

[ chorus : jisung, chan & seungmin ] y si fuera por mí (yoh, yoh), estaría cerca de ti, yeah (and if it was up to me, i would be close to you, yeah) pero tengo que dejarte volar (but i gotta let you fly) supongo que es una parte de amar (i guess it's a part of love)

jisung was in the last chorus because that's what they decided on. he sighed as he had only one verse, the last one to make the chance count. even now he was feeling nervous for one line, he never felt this tense since he started being in stray kids and now he just wanted to shut himself off and close the door to his bedroom to not think about you. he was always invaded by memories anyways, so it's not like he could stop it but right now all the flashbacks like a movie were on his mind and he felt the tears build up.

seungmin found himself saying the last lyric of the song, thinking of the times when you would be staring at him before you two kissed. he didn't want to let go even if the song said otherwise but it would be the best option if things didn't go as planned.

"i love you minnie." you whispered to him after an award show one day. they had collected most of the trophies yet none of them felt as good as your love and having you by his side (as corny as it sounds).

"i love you too." he whispered back and kissed your cheek as you were leaving the place were it took place. fingers intertwined and smiles on both of your faces.

he remembered it with such love but deep pain as he pronounced his lyrics. i guess it's a part of love huh? he thought to himself as he saw the video going up, the song reaching an incredible amount of listens and going viral on every platform

maybe something good would come out of this.

+ 1

you knew it was about you and it was absolutely everywhere. you didn't have a friend who didn't send you the song and you didn't have a coworker who didn't talk about it. the new stray kids song is so sad that it will make you cry but it's still a vibe or whatever the headlines were saying. you were done with it but because your curiosity was over the roof, you knew you had to listen to it at least once.

and you did, you took in all the lyrics, all the verses and the chorus. you sighed when you finished it, is it really like this? do they really want you back? do they crave to be close to you like they say? you didn't know fully. maybe they just took in the situation and made the song for clout. but you knew them better than that and wouldn't do that if they weren't truly sorry, it was a whole mess to think about this.

you unblocked all of them, the hardest one to unblock being chan but you did it. speaking of the devil, he sent you a message as soon as you did unblock him and it was like destiny or magic or something insane because he couldn't believe he was no longer prohibited on your phone as he started spamming you.

then soon everyone started messaging you and it felt like the old times, bringing back a smile to your face. it looks like they really did miss you and wanted you back.

you opened seungmin's chat and wrote just two words.

one chance.

#sourbinnie #skz imagines #skz songfics #skz #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #skz x you #skz angst #stray kids angst #skz scenarios #ot8 x reader #skz ot8 #skz drabbles #stray kids drabbles #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fanfic #skz fanfic #skz x gn reader

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chibifoxwrites · 3 months

Text

@dunedragon Ask and ye shall receive!

Two children stood in a white room, one with arms crossed across her chest and an eyebrow cocked in mild interest while the other was playing with the hem of his hoodie.

The girl was wearing a cropped blue jacket over a black top with leggings under a pair of shorts, an orange symbol outlined in gold prominent on the left side of her jacket.

The boy was wearing a large orange hoodie that seemed to swallow him whole and almost covered his shorts while a bright blue headband with a matching symbol was snuggly tied around his head.

Regardless of where they came from, both were part of the Hikari family.

"So," the girl started. "I'm guessing your name is Netto too? How did you get here?"

The boy flinched before answering. "Actually, my name is Lan and I honestly don't know how I got here. I remember going to bed and hearing a voice talking about the likes meeting one another. When I looked around, I couldn't find MegaMan and only saw this giant robot looking thing. Then, I was here!"

Netto nodded slowly, lips twisted in a grimace. "One, it's good to know that you have some form of RockMan in your world from what it sounds like. Two, I think were were brought here by Duo."

"Who or what is Duo?"

"He's a NetNavi from the edge of the universe and operates purely on logic as he judges other beings from their planets, decides whether the species or race is good or evil, and then destroys the planet if he deems it evil," Netto explained, much to her counterpart's horror. "He dropped by my planet some years back to judge it, but the test was rigged by his companion, Slur. A bunch of criminal NetNavis were resurrected and mostly given to people who had less than good intentions. A few people were innocent, but a majority of them were career criminals. Long story short, my friends and I beat the bad guys, exposed and deleted Slur, and sent Duo on his merry way among other things."

Lan decided not to ask about the last bit of the sentence that his counterpart muttered under her breath.

"Well, you sound like you've been doing some cool stuff for a while. I just got my NetNavi. Dad gave him to me as a gift when we moved back to DenTech City," the boy explained.

Netto blinked at her counterpart in confusion. "You moved back to Densan?"

"DenTech City, but yeah! Before that we were living in Cyber City! I lived in DenTech when I was younger but we had to move for Dad's job. He then got transferred back to Sci-Labs Headquarters after the mayor was arrested." Lan then shrugged. "Turns out the mayor made it so Dad would transfer and slowly tried to get him to unearth some powerful programs that had been hidden away a long time ago."

Netto sighed. "Our family can never have a moment of peace, at least that is universal."

"Um, just how bad is it? I mean in your world?" Lan asked. "I just started a new school and MegaMan keeps trying to drag me into situations, like trying to make new friends not like I had many in the first place back in Cyber City, but what about you?"

"I'm basically part of a super sentai group that goes around the world and stops cyber crime. People keep thinking that just because they're smarter than the average human that they have the right to steal the hard work from other people to rule over everyone on the planet, so we have to kick ass and take names. I've lost friends in the line of duty and I've been betrayed by them too, but a majority of my team are still friends with me and with each other. We have goot times and we have bad times, but at least I have RockMan and the rest of the family beside me." Netto went quiet for a bit and blushed. "Also, I have my boyfriend so that helps too..."

Lan smiled and softly clapped his hands together. "Hooray for you!"

Netto smiled when something caught her eye. "Has that door always been there?"

Lan turned around and jumped back. "No, no it was not."

"...We're gonna have to go open it to find out where we are, aren't we?"

Lan sighed and took off his backpack before rummaging around in it. A few seconds later, he pulled out a kabuton stick. "I have other things if you need one."

Netto smiled. "Oh, I think we're going to get along just great."

#hikari netto #nettoverse #cyber heroine #cyber heroine spoilers #sneak peak of new au

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the-writing-mobster · 4 months

Note

were there any fic ideas you never ended up writing that you regret not doing?

also, do you have any other undertale ships? {:

Ah! Thank you for the ask dear heart! Let's see...

Of course I have fics that are still deep in my drafts, and I also have a few unfinished fics currently published ON Ao3.

I don't really regret not publishing certain fics because it's not really a matter of if more than it is a matter of when. A few of these old ideas just need way more fleshing out and just aren't ready for the limelight.

And that "not if but when" mindset is carried over to my unfinished fics as well, like Baby Face and YWIW.

They'll eventually be completed. (Although tbh, I'm not so sure about ywiw now, may have to go and really take a good long look at that one and the goals I want to achieve with it. For YWIW, I guess I regret some of the choices I made with Frisk's character arc. Like I accidentally walked back on things that I shouldn't have. Sequels are hard, y'all.)

—

Now for my other UT ships? Hmmmm...

I'm gonna come out the gate swinging and say that I, first and foremost do not ship Asgore and Toriel. I think their dynamic is more interesting as a divorced couple. Boom. That'll stir the pot some.

(I have a lot of weird UT ships tbh)

Now, moving on to what I actually ship:

Asriel x Papyrus / Papsriel / Boneblossom

This stems more from how I wrote their dynamic in wdyw part 4 + ywiw. See, when Frisk and Sans are off doing hard main character work, Papyrus and Asriel were alone together a lot, working through both of their collective daddy issues together (their fathers were big ole villains and they were consoling each other about their relationships with their fathers, it was actually very sweet) Ergo, I began to ship.

But also, if you look at the game, there are instances of Asriel and Papyrus befriending, and Asriel manipulating him, or growing fond of Papyrus in his own way as Flowey. Yeah there's the problem of "well technically Asriel is a child!" Which like... Okay, he's also dead and immortal at the same time. In wdyw he died at an older age so... 🤷🏻‍♀️ It depends on where you take the story. I could also just ship them platonically. So yeah!

Undyne x Alphys / Alphyne

This one is obvious. They're canon. They're beautiful. I love gay people. I love lesbians. I am a gay people. I am a lesbian. I love them.

Also, low-key, I also just like to explore more of their dynamic than just lovey dovey sapphic stuff. The highs and the lows. And they're perfect to do that with.

Nick x Sans / Nicecream Guy x Sans

This one is unorthodox, but it's because of Baby Face. They're so gay in that fic like it's unbelievable. If not Sans, then definitely Nick. Like they've definitely explored each other's bodies at least once.

Also in wdyw, they have a more complex, complicated friendship since they're more like long lost friends, and the whole "you betrayed our ideals by joining Asgore's military" and Nick "you joined a rebellion that will never win, you've doomed yourself to martyrdom." Sans saving Nick from prison & the purge, ugh, they're so complex, I love em!

Nick is definitely gay. I know we were pushing for Alick but honestly... That boy is gay. And I really believe that. I think the only better pairing for him would be Napstablook, or... And I guess I'll concede to years of shipping before me... Burgerpants/Bryan. Because Bryan has that like, newly joined rebellion, starry eyes, just found out his crush was brutally murdered by one of Muffet's assassins, etc, and then there's Nick, shining hero of the revolution. I think it could work really well.

Muffet x Toriel / Muffriel / Spiderscotch

Bro even the name screams lesbian, wtf? This is like Everlark's alternative ship name being peenis.

BRO THEY LIVE IN THE RUINS TOGETHER, MUFFET SET UP SHOP IN THE RUINS. TORIEL BAKES PIES AND MUFFET BAKES FUCKED UP SPIDER DONUTS. THEY'RE A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN. (And I'm purely talking about classic, but who's to say that wdyw Muffet wasn't sneaking into the queen's chambers after killing her own husband and poisoning Toriel's daughter right under her nose? UGH THE DRAMA!!!!)

Ugh, I love my gay ships.

Anyway, Toriel is the sweet, albeit very flawed, old money, cottage core wife, and Muffet is the manipulative, borderline Machiavellian, macabre, new money, goth wife and they're PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER. I've never been more serious in my life.

Anyway, those are my UT ships that are not Frans. Don't come for me, I know they're unconventional (except for Alphyne) but I love them each dearly.

Old pencil drawing I did:

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repo-net · 1 month

Text

I do feel like that at some point in his overthinking, sleepless mind, Nagisa's questioned his own feelings for Monaca on how genuine they really are.

Those feelings were definitely true; I think Nagisa 100% had a crush on Monaca that likely blossomed to become as strong as we saw it now because she was nice to him and treated him in ways no other person his age really did. Unfortunately, there aren't enough flashback scenes of the WoH to really showcase when that all started, but still, it's something you can infer with just reading the story and making good, natural assumptions about the character based on what they're showing you.

But he's a smart kid; a very, very smart kid that somehow managed to come off with a strong sense of critical thinking despite the guinea pig-esque life he had to endure. There had to be points where he'd be restless at night doubting his actions, doubting his morals, and most importantly - doubting his feelings.

Did he actually like Monaca herself? Or were his attachment issues so awful that the moment someone starts giving him that attention he needs to function, he latched on and refused to let go of that person?

I don't think Nagisa was unaware of Monaca's... 'tendencies', either. I mean, come on, she goes around and preached about how much she lovedddd the Demon Hunting Game and killing adults (she didn't care too much in the end, but she sure made it out to be like that in Nagisa's mind), that even when Nagisa tries to propose a less violent approach to reaching their paradise, he backs down and gets forced into a goal he's not certain he even believes in.

He isn't blindly unaware of Monaca's flaws. When he frees Komaru and rescues Kotoko, his initial thought is to protect Kotoko from Monaca because 'yeah she's going to be pissed when she finds out about this, but i'll just have to grit my teeth and take it'. Nagito calls him out just before Komaru and Toko's fight; the reason Nagisa is going behind her back to do this entire escape operation in the first place is because he's fully aware he's doing something Monaca doesn't like.

And Nagisa knows this. In his mind, Nagisa knows he's betraying Monaca's 'ideals' (ideals that were much, much worse than he imagined), but that's not going to stop him from trying to go for his vision of a paradise achieved through his methods. Somewhere in Nagisa's love-infected emotions knows just how messed up Monaca was. But when freeing Komaru, he believed that maybe, just maybe now that he's the 'leader', he could persuade Monaca. Maybe that's why her declaring him the new leader meant so much to him, it was because he finally thought he had a chance to set things right.

Nagisa's crush was a very morbid, and a horribly gone wrong version of a guy falling for a crazy girl and thinking 'I can fix her'. It's morbid just how hard he tries to do anything in the game yet every single time, it seems to go horribly wrong for one reason or another, and the ending would always be him getting hurt.

#danganronpa #danganronpa ultra despair girls #nagisa shingetsu #shingetsu nagisa #monaca towa #towa monaca #warriors of hope

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michaelmilligan · 6 months

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Archangel Week: Michael Home is where your grace is

For the first day of @spnarchangelweek - let's celebrate our favourite celestial guys (gn). 🥳

(Midam, 4.1k post-canon fix-it, also on AO3)

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When Michael wakes up in Heaven, the first thing he notices is that it's both too bright and less so than he remembers. The second thing he realises is that he's not dead.

It should be a good thing, not being dead, but Michael only too clearly remembers his grace boiling, and his Father's annoyed, but also almost bored expression as he ripped him apart. What he sees now isn't all that comforting either: Castiel is glaring at him, his wings splayed aggressively, while the nephil just looks at him calmly.

It takes Michael a moment to realise that the child is not just a nephil anymore. It takes him even longer to accept it, and as he eventually feels grief wash over him, he realises that it's not for his Father per se, but for who He once was, or at least who Michael thought He was.

When Michael asks why he was brought back, Jack says the most incomprehensible sentence in the history of the world: “You deserved a second chance.”

“I betrayed your fathers,” Michael says, and glances at Castiel. “All of them.”

“For your own father,” Jack says, and it's surreal to see God hesitating, but it happens anyway. “I know how tempting it is to be loyal, to want to be loved... even by a bad father, who made you because he was bored, or who played at loving you to then discard you, and who doesn't deserve your love.”

Again, it takes Michael a moment to understand, but the child's golden wings are too much like Lucifer's for him not to know who he's talking about. It hurts to think that Michael's father is similar to Lucifer, the son who rebelled and who Michael had to cast out.

Back then, it broke Michael's metaphorical heart to carry out his father's order, but he would have torn his own grace out to be the good son, the one most deserving of his father's love.

Looking at Jack, he is starting to see now what Adam meant all the times he implied that being ready to do anything for one person, no matter how harmful, isn't a sign of a healthy relationship. The nephil might not have done anything for his biological father, but he still sacrificed everything for the Winchesters and Castiel.

He's not a child anymore, and God's power ebbs and flows around him like water dragged about by gravitation and wind – a powerful force, the ocean, and able to destroy entire cities within moments, but never by its own volition, always steered by forces outside of its own control.

Michael calms his thoughts. While he can't use Adam's trusty techniques in his True Form – difficult to steady your breathing when you have no lungs or mouth or nose – he can still make himself focus, and make his grace pulse regularly.

It's then, when he concentrates on himself, that he notices it. There's something wrong with his grace – it's subtle, but unsettling now that he realises it, and he directs his eyes to inspect every part of his True Form. It's difficult to see himself, of course, with eyes that are on him, but he finds out quickly enough, anway.

There is indeed something wrong with his grace. It's imperfect – a lot of spots aren't as smooth or continuous as they should be, and his eyes move with great difficulty over those places.

Jack's expression softens at Michael's rising panic, and he holds up a hand of the human form he still seems to favour. “It's okay. You're okay.”

“I'm broken,” Michael says, so loud that Castiel moves in front of Jack, as if a seraph could ever hope to protect God.

“I'm sorry,” Jack just says, coaxing Castiel back to his side. “I think when you died, a few shards of yourself were scattered over Earth.” His brows knit together as he concentrates. “I can still feel their presence in the US. Some were flung further, but not many.”

Michael is silent for a long moment. His father ripped him apart so violently that pieces of him broke off.

“I'm broken,” Michael repeats, much more quietly. He still doesn't understand why he, of all angels, was brought back. He also can't bring himself to ask any questions. While he's almost sure that Jack brought back humanity, that doesn't mean that he returned every single soul who was taken by God.

After all, Adam had no body to return to after Michael got it exploded. Adam had nothing and no one to return to.

If Michael asks, and Adam is dead and gone, then he will have lost everything too. If he asks and Adam is alive, then... well, why would Adam want to see him? Michael is the one who ruined his life, the one who had him pulled from his Heaven with lies and had his underling use him as bait. The one who had him tortured, and who then possessed him, and landed him in Hell for ten – or a thousand – years.

If Adam is back, then he is free for the first time in forever. Free to do what he wants, and to go where he wants, and to eat and sleep like a normal human being.

Free to be with other humans, to share his body and his life with them, instead of having a sun burning in his chest. Free to go to college, now that he doesn't have an archangel inside of him.

Yes, Adam is free, and Michael is alone, and if that's the punishment for all that he has done, then he will gladly take it.

Jack is talking again, about other angels he has brought back, and rebuilding Heaven, but Michael is barely listening. How is he meant to face the host when he is broken like this, and when the father whose rules he enforced with an iron fist over millennia has turned out to be a lying, pity creature who destroys his own creation at a whim?

No, it's better for Michael to leave Heaven and search for the pieces of him that are missing. If he's lucky, it will take a long time.

That last part, he doesn't say, but Jack still looks so sympathetic that Michael thinks he may have heard it anyway.

He finds the first shard easily. It's in the Atlantic Ocean, somewhere between South Carolina and Morocco, and Michael spends some time with the local deep sea squids, who not only found the shard and seem to revere it, but who also appear to realise that it rightfully belongs to Michael.

He is almost certain that both males and females are trying to court him, but they always hastily withdraw when they get too close and get the tip of a tentacle burned.

The squids seem sad when Michael leaves, but he's not on Earth to make friends, not even among such friendly creatures.

The shard of grace slots seamlessly back into him, closing one of the cracks in his True Form. That's all he wants from this trip – to feel a little more like himself.

Whatever or whoever 'himself' is. Michael tries not to think about it too much, fearing that he'll find out he's irreparably bad or useless.

The next shard, according to the images Jack passed onto Michael, came down in Carmichael's Village, Bahamas. Michael tries not to be disquieted by the name, or by the fact that it's on land and there are humans all around.

The thought of taking a vessel makes Michael feel sick – sidling up next to a human soul that isn't Adam's seems wrong, almost obscene. So for the moment, hidden in the mid-day sun in a cloudless sky, Michael just shifts above Lake Killamey, reaching out for the shard.

He doesn't feel it. Down in the ocean, once he was in the general vicinity of the shard, he could feel it reaching for him, longing to be part of the whole again.

But here, there is nothing. Michael doesn't believe that any human could hide a piece of himself from his senses, so the most logical explanation is that the shard is gone.

After all, Jack didn't tell him where the shards are now. He just passed on images of where they landed after Michael was exploded. Michael doesn't understand why – shouldn't it be easy for Jack to figure out the current locations of the shards? Is he making this intentionally difficult for Michael, so he'll take longer? But if so, why tell him where they used to be at all?

Deep in contemplation, Michael pulls himself away from the Bahamas and towards the next spot from Jack's memories. It's supposed to be in Tate Hell's State Forest, and again, Michael tries hard not to bristle.

Again, there are humans there, and with some clouds in the sky, it's more difficult for Michael to hide his bright True Form. Not that he even stays for long – again, he can't feel the shard here, even when he's pretty sure he's drifted right over the spot where it's supposed to have fallen.

He moves on, mystified. Are the pieces of him so obvious that humans find them and carry them away? Perhaps they are – the squids found that piece of him, too, and the only reason they didn't move it seems to have been out of respect.

Humans aren't exactly known to be respectful.

The next few places are a bust, too. Winchester, Kentucky. Marysville, Michigan. Michael's Bay, Ontario Canada.

The names are starting to grate at him, and the fact that none of his pieces are where they fell doesn't bode well.

Best case scenario, the humans have brought his shards all to the same place, like a museum. Worst case scenario, they're all in different places, and it will take him ages to figure out where.

Though maybe that wouldn't be so bad. Wasn't he hoping for a long search before?

The next spot is one Michael thinks about putting last on his list, but then he tells himself not to be a coward. St. Michael, Minnesota, is only about 150 miles from Windom, but the chances of Adam being in either place are slim. That is, assuming he is even alive.

At first, Michael thinks he's done it – hovering over the so aptly named town, he can feel the presence of some of his grace. Maybe the townspeople have recognised what they have, like the squids, and revere it in the church. But then he realises that the pull doesn't come from the church, and not even from the town. It's from somewhere further away, and is just stronger than what he felt from the one shard he found so far.

It might be a collection of pieces, then, he thinks as he moves in that direction. It leads him south west of Minneapolis, and for a crazy moment he thinks that he will land in Windom after all, but then he realises that the pull comes from a place near Titlow Lake. Not the town right next to the lake, but a piece of woods.

There aren't any humans there, he thinks, and drifts lower to scout it more closely. Has someone hidden his grace here, thinking no one would find it? But where?

Finally, Michael finds a clearing, and on it, a little cabin with a vegetable garden out the back and patches of herbs in the front. It might belong to a witch, Michael thinks, and descends further. He has no love for witches, and who knows what they want to use his grace for. Better to burn out the human's eyes and melt their brain than to let them continue.

Birds are startled into flight when Michael comes down onto the cabin, which shakes and rattles. Michael isn't above a little property damage or manslaughter to get what he wants, so he just surges right in, pooling in the room where he feels the pull the strongest.

A human is standing there, next to a chair that has fallen over, and a frightened voice intones a spell when-

“Michael?” the human asks, their voice and body shaking.

The spell breaks, and through the dissipating magic, Michael recognises Adam.

He's older, Michael realises, and it suddenly hits him that he never asked how long he was dead. It must have been ten years at least, judging from Adam's changed physique. He's no longer a puny nineteen-year old. There's stubble on his chin, and his features are sharper, more developed. His cheekbones are more visible, and his shoulders seem broader, and-

Adam has grown up. Without Michael, his body has grown older, and it has changed with his diet and exercise.

“Michael?” Adam asks again, his eyes still wide. “What- I don't-”

HELLO, ADAM, Michael finally says, and only remembers how loud his True Voice is to humans when Adam winces slightly. I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO DISTURB YOU.

Michael thinks that for a moment, hurt flashes over Adam's face, but then his expression is guarded.

“What are you talking about?” Adam asks. “I thought- Sam and Dean said you were dead. I- There were pieces of your grace...”

Adam looks away, closing his eyes for a moment. When he looks back at Michael, his expression is almost pleading.

Only then does Michael realise that Adam must have been the one to collect his shards. He must have gone all over the US and beyond to get them, and he brought them here, to this cabin.

YOU WENT TO THE BAHAMAS FOR MY GRACE? Michael asks, stunned.

They never went to the Bahamas, in the time between the Cage and Adam being taken from him. They talked about it, and Adam mentioned how he always wanted to go, but never could.

“Yeah.” Adam shifts on his feet. His Adam's apple bobs up and down. “That was so much freaking work. I even had to ask Sam to get me a fake passport. It really sucks being legally dead. And Canada was almost worse, you know.”

What little Michael knows about international travel, he gleamed from jokes Adam made when they were out of the cage. How an archangel flying him was so much more convenient than taking a plane, and how he didn't even need to go through customs.

Michael doesn't think that Adam ever flew anywhere in his old life, back before the ghouls, so his knowledge would have been second-hand at best. But apparently the horrors of travelling via plane are real.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT, Michael says, saddened that Adam has apparently wasted his time searching for pieces of him. He's not sure how much he knew about where those were, but judging from how old he is now, it may have taken a long time. Ten years, maybe more, if he started collecting right away.

“Yeah, well,” Adam says, and it sounds defensive, “I didn't know you were alive, so.”

I WASN'T. NOT UNTIL THREE DAYS AGO, Michael tells him. He explains a bit about his quest to be complete again, and Adam just listens, tension seeping from his shoulders when he understand how little time has passed for Michael.

“It's been fourteen years, Michael,” he then says, quietly, an explanation and an accusation rolled into one. “I- I thought you weren't coming back.”

A REASONABLE ASSUMPTION, Michael says, because he doesn't know how to deal with the tears in Adam's eyes, or with the ache in his own grace.

It's not the cracks that are aching, except maybe they are, in a way that the rest of his grace longs to be reunited with – with what? The shards of grace that Adam has somewhere in this cabin? Adam's soul?

He knows that he won't get the latter. Like Adam said, it has been fourteen years, and Adam has a life without him now.

WOULD YOU GIVE THEM TO ME? Michael asks. He knows he doesn't have to right to demand anything from Adam. Even though the shards are from his grace, he knows that he won't pressure Adam if he doesn't want to give them back.

He painstakingly collected them, which is far more than Michael could have ever hoped for, and even if he only wants to use the grace for spells, that's alright.

Michael would like to be complete, but hurting Adam is not an option. The last time he betrayed him – betrayed his memory – it literally broke him.

“I'm sorry,” Adam says, and he really does sound sorry, but the implication is clear.

THAT'S ALRIGHT. For a moment, Michael made himself believe that Adam collected those shards for him, and not for some spell. Delusion is a powerful thing, he thinks.

“I thought you weren't coming back,” Adam says again, and his expression is pleading, as if willing him to understand something. Michael just isn't sure what, yet. “I mean, I collected all those pieces of you, and- and for years, I put them in this enchanted box. It can't break, you know, I'm still storing stuff in there... But five, six years in... I don't know, it's stupid, but it felt almost like your grace was calling out, like... like it was asking not to be alone anymore. Fuck, that's so stupid.”

NO. Michael thinks of how his grace seemed to yearn for him, pulling him close. Maybe there were still traces of him in Adam, he thinks, and a part of him wants to smile at the thought, even though he doesn't have a mouth to do that with. WHAT DID YOU DO WITH IT?

“I, um... You know, there's lore about people absorbing grace, or some other power, and I think you came in that way when you possessed me and...” Adam trails off, and his eyes are wide when he says: “I drank it.”

Michael blinks at him. YOU DRANK MY GRACE?

“Yeah. I- I'm sorry, I think it might be in my soul, or, uh, near it, and I don't know if we can get it back out.” Adam puts a hand on his chest as he speaks, and Michael looks at him more closely.

His soul is still bright and beautiful, maybe even more so with the inhuman blue glow that emanates from parts of it. It looks like cracks were filled with a somewhat off-colour – Adam's soul is already blue, but a little lighter than Michael's grace, and not as shiny.

Adam filled his cracked soul with Michael's grace to be complete again.

Or maybe Michael's grace invaded his soul, Michael thinks with horror, burning into it.

DID IT HURT? he asks, shaken.

Adam seems surprised. “No, not it was like...” He gulps. “Almost like you came home.”

Home. Michael's grace settling in Adam's soul felt like him coming home.

“I'm so sorry, if I had known you'd come back for those pieces...”

NO. I'M SORRY THAT I DIDN'T COME BACK SOONER.

Adam's lower lip wobbles. “Michael, you were dead,” he says, his voice choked up and eyes wet.

YES, AND IT'S MY OWN FAULT. IF I HADN'T HELPED MY FATHER- Michael stops, a burning shame in his grace because he regrets saying it. Not because it's incorrect – it's not – but because he doesn't want Adam to know.

But Adam just nods. “Yeah, I know what you did. And I also know that it's exactly what Sam and Dean wanted. Those assholes were using you the whole time.”

OH, Michael makes. He never thought that the Winchesters could have been manipulating him. Historically, he has been the one to do the manipulating.

“Yeah,” Adam says, his expression grave.

If they were still together, Michael thinks, he would be able to hear Adam's thoughts, and feel what he feels. It would be a lot easier to navigate both their feelings, then, with them pressing grace to soul, and helping the other unravel his tangle of emotions.

But they're not together like that anymore, and Adam already filled his cracks, has become whole again.

ADAM, Michael says, and then doesn't know how to continue. That one word would usually be enough to convey everything, but Adam's soul is so far away, and it has been fourteen years. Finally, Michael adds: CAN I COME BACK?

“What?” Adam blinks at him.

HERE. OR SOMEWHERE ELSE. I KNOW YOU MUST HAVE OTHER THINGS TO DO THAN SEE ME, BUT MAYBE...

Adam stares at him with an expression that Michael can't read. Finally, he shakes his head. If Michael had a stomach, it would plummet now.

“Michael, are you anxious?” Adam asks. Maybe he means it to be playful, but it comes across as accusing.

Or at least Michael feels defensive. IT'S NOT AS IF YOU COULD STOP ME IF I CAME BACK. I JUST THOUGHT SOME BASIC COURTESY WOULD BE NICE.

“You don't do basic courtesy,” Adam says.

I would for you, Michael thinks.

“You know I can't read your thoughts right now,” Adam says, and sighs. “I mean, we haven't talked to each other without being in each other's head for what, a thousand years?”

MORE, Michael says, and thinks back to their first meeting, back in the Green Room. Adam said yes surprisingly quickly, still a wide-eyed teenage Christian boy at the time, despite having already been manipulated by angels.

If Adam knew back then what would happen, would he have said no?

Would Michael have asked him if he knew what Adam would mean to him some day?

“Point is, I can't tell what you really mean this way,” Adam continues. “Do you really want to stop by every now and then, or do you just feel guilty about everything and think you have to repent? If I tell you what I really want, are you going to laugh at me, or are you going to go along with it out of shame and pity?”

Michael brings more eyes to rest on Adam, even though it's still difficult to manoeuvre them over the cracks in his grace. WHAT IS IT THAT YOU REALLY WANT?

The sentence makes Michael think of a song that Adam sang in the cage sometimes. It said 'I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want.' and then... well.

Michael doesn't think what Adam wants is like in the song.

“Okay, so, promise me you won't make any rash decisions, but... I'd like you back. In here, with me.” Adam puts a hand on his chest.

YES, Michael says.

“Dude, I just said no rash decisions! It's just... you know, I think maybe that's the only way to get that grace back to you, or maybe at least get you close enough to it to feel complete again? I don't know, we were pretty close before, my soul and your grace-”

YES, Michael says again.

Adam bites his lip. “Can you just... take a moment to think about it?”

WHY? Michael asks. This is everything he wants in this world – to be back with Adam, curled around his soul, knowing exactly what his best friend thinks and wants. He wants to talk to him, and have petty squabbles with him about whether Britney Spears or Avril Lavigne is better, and hear him bitch about how there are too many Pokémon nowadays.

He wants to fly Adam to three shitty diners in a row, complaining the whole time how that greasy, salty stuff he eats isn't good for him, but keeping his body in prime condition as they speak. There's nothing in the world he wants more than to sit and watch a sunset with him, only to then fly to another time zone and watch the next sunset there.

I WANT TO BE WITH YOU, Michael just says. THAT HASN'T CHANGED. I JUST THOUGHT YOU WOULDN'T WANT THAT ANYMORE.

“Are you kidding me? I literally drank your grace to have at least a piece of you back with me,” Adam says, and when he puts it like that...

SO WILL YOU LET ME IN? Michael asks.

“Yes.” It's almost a sigh, but it's clear enough, and Michael is careful as he filters into Adam's body, filling him with so much more grace than those few shards he found.

It's exciting when he finds his place next to Adam's soul again, and before he knows it, Adam presses against him – and then slides into the cracks in Michael's grace like he belongs there.

ARE YOU ALRIGHT? Michael asks, alarmed even in his exaltation. Is Adam spreading himself thin like this? Will he loose himself in Michael's grace?

But Adam only radiates happiness and content.

I'm great, he says in their shared mind-space. You're home.

I'M HOME, Michael repeats, and holds Adam tightly, feeling him sink a little more into his grace. WE'RE HOME.

He feels Adam do the equivalent of a smile. Yeah, we're both home.

In their body. Inside each other.

This is where they belong.

#It's Midam ofc. Because. Well. I'm me.#'But Alex you've told the story of their post-canon reunion before.' And you will hear it again.#Just a little differently #Midam #SPNArchangelWeek

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