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maybedefinitely404 · 4 years

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Day 27: Intrulogical (TW)

@tsshipmonth2020

Day 27 - Your eyes match your soulmate’s hair color. If they dye their hair, your eyes change colors.

TRIGGER WARNINGS!!!!! Attempted rape (by unnamed OC), drugging, implied underage drinking (though none is actually seen), emetophobia/vomiting, Halloween, alcohol, characters being tipsy/drunk, parties. Happy/satisfying ending.

Word count: 4.7k

Logan lived his life based on routine. In a world of constant change, it felt comforting to always know what his next step was. His mornings always started the same; wake up at seven o’clock sharp, sneak to the dorm bathroom in an attempt to not wake his essentially nocturnal roommate, and brush his teeth. Wet the toothbrush, pea sized amount of toothpaste, wet the brush again, and start on the left side of his mouth. Brush for exactly two minutes, wash face, and then attempt to calm down the bedhead. He’d sneak back into the room, change silently, and then make his way to the shared kitchen to make cereal for breakfast. The only variable in his routine was which fruit he’d eat along with his Cheerios. Then he’d triple check that all of his homework was packed properly, and head off to his morning class.

Except today.

For someone who rarely got distracted from his normal routine, he was surprisingly still as he glared, shocked, into his reflection. Water still dripped off his face and all over the counter, but he couldn’t tear his attention from it. Because his normally dark brown eyes were now neon green.

“Are you kidding me?!” He yelled before he could stop himself, storming back into their room and dropping back onto his bed.

“What’s’it?” Virgil mumbled, lifting his exhausted face from where they’d been smooshed into the pillows. Logan spun his face up towards the top bunk, jaw clenched, and gestured towards his eyes.

“I have a presentation today!” Logan continued, looking away from Virgil’s failed attempt to cover a smile, “And I look ridiculous! No one will take me seriously!”

“Just in time for Halloween, I guess. They just look like contacts.”

“Hallow-” Logan sprung to his desk to look at his calendar accusingly, groaning when he realized it was in fact the thirty first. “Ugh, I have a paper due tomorrow!”

“Don’t tell me you’re backing out of the party now, Lo. I already promised people I’d go, and I’m not going alone.”

“I won’t back out of the party,” Logan grumbled, crossing his arms. Virgil gave a satisfied hum, flopping back into his comforter. When he spoke again, his voice was muffled.

“Out of all people, I’m surprised you forgot.”

“So sue me, if a frivolous game of promiscuous dress up comes after passing my classes in the list of importance.”

The emo snorted. “What’s your costume gonna be?”

“I am not wearing a costume!” Logan’s voice was almost offended.

“You already look like a traffic light. Might as well complete the look.”

Logan grumbled angrily, marching back toward the bathroom to finish getting ready. “I’m not wearing a costume. I have a reputation to uphold.”

“Aw, c’mon, Lo. For me?”

That stopped Logan in his tracks. He spun around and took a careful breath, glaring down his overly pleased roommate. “Fine. Just for you.”

Virgil gave another satisfied hum, before squinting his eyes at Logan scrutinizingly. “I wonder if your eyes glow in the dark. Can you imagine if the prof turns the lights off for a presentation and-”

“UUUGGHHH!” Logan yowled as he slammed the bathroom door shut, shaking his head at Virgil’s snickers.

------------------------

They were meeting up at the party at the end of classes (right about when Virgil tended to wake up), so Logan headed there directly after his final class, just as the evening sun was fading behind the horizon. It was already packed with people already picking the snack and drinks table bare, a lopsided sign that said ‘21+ only’ forgotten near an empty beer box. If Logan were to assume correctly, the sign was only there to assuage the conscience of whoever was hosting tonight, and not actually to stop the underage drinking. Even if he was above legal drinking age, he still didn’t experience many of the positives of drinking, so he grabbed a can of iced tea and stood next to a wall to wait for Virgil.

It hadn’t been a full five minutes before a man sidled up to him, sipping from a half empty beer bottle and watching Logan with a careful eye. He didn’t spare so much as a glance in return, barely acknowledging the newcomer’s presence.

“What’s a wallflower like you doing at a rager like this?” He drawled with an almost audible impish smile.

“If this is considered a rager, I’d hate to see what a calm party looks like.”

“Aw, we just haven’t gotten started yet! We’re fueling up for when the moon comes out. And you haven’t answered my question, flower.”

“I’m simply waiting for a friend.”

“Oh, and does this friend have a name?” He purred.

Frustrated, Logan turned to the man, and promptly froze. Looking down at him with pitch black eyes was a person in a costume he couldn’t recognize; a black and white striped suit that looked like he’d raked it through dust, and a mold green tie. The stubble on his face could have been his own five o’clock shadow or makeup, but it only functioned to make him look far hotter than what was fair. What was most shocking though, and Logan was baffled that he’d missed it in the initial approach, was the mop of electric-shock-straight neon green hair on his head.

“He- I don’t-”

“Didn’t take you for the type to get flustered,” The man snorted, taking another sip. “What do you have? Aw, iced tea? And not even spiked? A crime.”

How did he not see Logan’s eyes? The hair was the exact same color; Logan would know. He’d spend the whole day watching his reflection, hoping that his soulmate would have some mercy and dye their hair back to its original color. Neon green was not exactly the most subtle color, and he had not missed the snickers or silent glances from his classmates and professors all day. So the question remained, why wasn’t this guy saying anything?

“I don’t drink. I tend to just become lethargic when I do.” He answered instead, gripping his can a little tighter. It took far too much effort to keep his voice from straining.

“Fair enough. I’m not pressuring you to drink, no worries. At least we’ll have one sober mind at this party tonight.” The taller man winked at him, flashing him that stupidly stunning smile again.

But then it occurred to Logan as he kept searching the man’s dark eyes desperately. His eyes were too dark, almost pitch black, while Logan’s hair was several shades lighter. So... there was no way they were soulmates. Just as quickly as the hope had exploded in his stomach, it dissipated, leaving him feeling more exhausted than usual. Stupid feelings.

“Logan, there you are!” An unusually loud voice called through his stupor and he spun around to see Virgil’s fanged smile. In the back of his mind, he remembered watching Virgil putting together his elaborate vampire costume over the last few weeks, but he’d never seen the full thing put together until now. “Ah, and Remus found you. Scram, Beetlejuice.”

Remus, apparently, didn’t seem at all offended by the jab. Instead, he seemed to smile wider. “Nice to see you too, emo. Is that any way to treat the host of the party?”

To Logan’s surprise, Virgil smiled too. “Oh, shut up. You’re going to give Logan a heart attack.”

“I’m sure he’s fine, Dracula. Why don’t you go get a drink, and I’ll keep him company?”

“Nuh uh. No way. Not leaving him with you any longer than I have already.” With that, Virgil hooked his arm through Logan’s and led him back to the drink table.

“Remember, Virgil, drinks are only for the big kids!”

“I’m older than you are!” He flipped the bird over Logan’s shoulder to the host, earning a barked laugh in response. “He never lets me forget I’m a whole three inches shorter than him.”

“You know the host of the party?”

Virgil hummed in response, pouring himself a cup of punch that reeked of alcohol. “How else would I get invited? We were in English together in third year, and I haven’t been able to shake him since. He’s like a leech.”

“You seem friendly with him.”

The elder froze, solo cup barely touching his lips as he looked over Logan slowly. “Everything okay? You’re not usually this… quiet.” They could both tell it wasn’t the word he’d wanted to use.

For a brief moment, Logan considered telling Virgil about his brief flair of hope, about how for a single second he’d felt nothing but relief and desire and elation, and how it had been ripped away from him just as quickly. But then he realized that, no, Virgil didn’t need that to bring down the mood of the first party he’d attended in a year, since his anxiety had flared. If it still bothered him after the party, he’d bring it up. That was unlikely, though. Logan was especially gifted in the art of repression.

“I’m just a tad out of my element. Nothing to worry about,” he responded with a smile. Virgil didn’t fall for it, if the way he watched Logan as he sipped his drink was anything to go off of, but he did them both the favor of not pushing it. For now.

“I thought I told you to wear a costume,” Virgil gasped as he drained the cup, immediately refilling it from the same bowl.

“I did.” Logan gestured towards the single piece of paper taped to his white shirt. It took Virgil a moment to squint through the darkening light to make-out the black sharpie, reading allowed.

“‘Error 404, Costume Not Found.’ That does not count, Logan!” He laughed nonetheless, just as a deep bass filled the house. Apparently, the party had begun. He didn’t have a good argument for Virgil’s accusation, since he technically thought it very much did count, but arguing with the other was a waste of time. The two men were equally matched in the stubbornness department.

The lights disappeared for a good few seconds before the house was illuminated in strobe lights, and the music’s volume exploded. Virgil laughed giddily; apparently his plan to get buzzed before the party could give him anxiety was intentional.

“They do, ya know.”

Logan looked at him in confusion, and shouted over the roaring music. “What?”

“Your eyes! They do glow in the dark!”

“Shut up!”

“You look like a glowstick!” He began to giggle wildly, leaning on Logan for support.

“No more drinks for a good half hour, Virge,” Logan chided gently, replacing his solo cup with a water bottle from the table. Virgil whined but plucked out his vampire fangs so he could drink from the small spout easier.

“Let’s dance,” Virgil said, grabbing Logan’s arm and leading him into the crowd.

---------------------------

Logan guessed it was well past midnight when Virgil tugged on his arm for the third time, leaning close to his ear and shouting that he had to go to the bathroom.

“Again?!” Logan called back at the vampire’s back. There was no malice in his words, not when he knew Virgil had been anxious to go to this party and he tended to drink more water when he was anxious. It was just all coming back for revenge now.

To Logan’s delight, the excitement of the party had started to push out the event from earlier. His mood was no longer dampened by the let down of what he thought was meeting his soulmate, and he could finally enjoy the one event he allowed himself to go to this semester. School was important, but he allowed this for Virgil. He hadn’t expected himself to have a good time as well.

It wasn’t even a minute after Virgil had left that there was a loud shout and Logan was jostled harshly to the side, the front of his shirt immediately soaking red from the cup of punch spilled on him. His own drink clattered to the floor.

“Shit, babe, I’m so sorry!” A man Logan didn’t recognize started to pat at his chest with a handful of tissues, an action that for some reason caused the smaller man to cringe.

“No worries. It was bound to happen eventually. Perhaps a white shirt wasn’t my smartest idea,” He responded sharply, taking the tissues from the other and dabbing himself off to the best of his abilities. Slightly relieved that he now had a valid reason, he ripped off his poor attempt at a costume and crumpled up the soaking wet paper in the hand not trying in vain to dry himself. Despite Logan obviously being uninterested, the taller man stayed where he was, watching Logan’s actions with fierce intensity. His lip curled as his eyes trailed down the now nearly see-through shirt.

“If you wanted, I could get that shirt off of you. Fool around, give it some time to dry?”

“I’m so flattered,” Logan deadpanned, “But no thanks.”

“Aw, too bad,” The man cooed, shrugging. His demeanor did a full one-eighty, his predatory gaze replaced with innocence, “Was worth a try. Let me at least get you a new drink, since I ruined your other one.”

“That’s not necessary-”

“I insist.” He laid a hand on Logan’s shoulder, causing a tingling cold to spread through his whole body. The smaller man barely contained a shudder as the man gave him another wolf like grin before disappearing into the crowd towards the drinks table.

Logan was hoping he’d forgotten, and just wouldn’t come back, but the man reappeared in moments, popping open a pink lemonade and handing it to him.

“Saw your other drink was non-alcoholic, so I got the only other one left.”

“Uhm…” Logan looked critically at the can, his alarm bells flaring. But… he’d seen the man open it, right? So it’s not as if he could have done something to it. Perhaps this guy really did have the right intentions, just an iffy way of showing them. “Thank you.”

He took a sip as the man smiled with too much teeth. “So, are you here alone?”

“No,” Logan responded a little less coolly, “I’m here with a friend. He just went to the bathroom.” Another sip.

“Oh, that’s fun! Are you guys in the same year?”

“Yes. We are both fourth years.” The man was acting kinder, and Logan was starting to consider that perhaps their initial meeting had been a misunderstanding on his part. Maybe he had just wanted to help out, but Logan, being cynical as always, had assumed the worst. Wasn’t that just like him, though? Always so quick to conclusions, ruining good things before they have a chance to happen. Trying to chase away his annoyance with himself and the bitter taste it had left on his tongue, he took a longer swig of the can.

“Hey, me too! I’m an English major, what about you?”

“Business with an astronomy minor.”

“That sounds difficult. How many semester hours are you clocking at right now?”

“I… uhm…” And for the life of him, he couldn’t remember. It was a high number, he knew for sure. He shook his head. “Fifteen, sixteen? Maybe seventeen?”

The man whistled. “Damn, impressive. Remind me of your name, again?”

Had he told him in the first place? “Logan.”

“And what brings a studious man such as yourself to a party like this?”

“My- My friend.” Logan couldn’t help shake his head again, hoping the fog in his mind would scatter. That’s what he got, staying out this late when his sleep schedule was usually so precise. “He doesn’t like… parties. So he asked…” He blinked hard a couple times, finding himself swaying on his feet. “He asked me…”

“Hey, are you okay?” The man placed his hand on his arm in an ironclad grip, holding him steady, “Logan, can you hear me?”

“Yeah, I… Dizzy,” He murmured, reaching up blearily and grabbing onto him.

“Are you dehydrated? Maybe you should drink some more.”

What were the symptoms of dehydration again? Dizziness, check. Fatigue, check. Confusion, check. Thirst? Yeah, he could drink something, but he’d been drinking all night, so why…

The can dropped from his hand, the second one tonight, and he tried weakly to pull away. Instead of letting him go, the man pulled him closer, wrapping an arm bruisingly tight around his waist.

“You… you drugged-”

“You don’t look so good, Logan. Let’s get you upstairs so you can lie down, yeah?”

“No, I don’t…” He was unable to escape, barely able to keep his feet under him, as the man started dragging him to the stairs. Where the hell is Virgil? Logan could feel tears pricking his eyes as his breathing hitched, and for the first time in years, he felt real panic. This couldn’t be happening. This isn’t-

“Let him the fuck go!”

A voice distinctly not Virgil’s shouted over the music, and Logan didn’t even dare hope it’s directed at the man still clutching him. His luck would never be that good. But through his blurry vision, a pin striped blob with a mess of green hair breaks through the crowd, marching distinctly up to them.

“He came here with me.” Logan could just make out the stronger man’s words through his dizzied state. “He just had a bit too much to drink. I’m going to let him lay down.”

“Like hell you are. Give him to me.”

“How dare you-”

“Logan. Doesn’t. Drink. And I know who he came here with.” Remus snarled, edging towards the duo threateningly, “Now let go of him before I break your fucking jaw.”

With almost as much physical relief as emotional, the man finally released his painful hold on Logan and shoved his way through the crowd, the distant shouts of inconvenienced partygoers near the door the only signal that he’d completely left.

For all his effort, Logan couldn’t hold himself up and collapsed. At first the feeling of strong arms picking him up bridal style caused him to panic and he lashed out, feebly hitting the chest of whoever was holding him. Realizing they were now walking up the stairs, the same place the other man had been pulling him, caused his breath to hitch in his throat.

“Woah there, Lo. You’re okay. It’s just me, it’s Remus, okay? Take a deep breath, just relax. I won’t hurt you.”

For some reason that Logan couldn’t fathom, the words calmed him down. Somewhere, Logan acknowledged that even though Virgil had known Remus for a while, Logan had only talked to him for a total of five minutes, and he probably shouldn’t trust an essential stranger when he’s like this. He’s just too tired to fight though, no matter how his adrenaline is pumping.

“V’rg’l,” Logan whimpered, clutching Remus' shirt with all the strength of a wet leaf, “W’nt h’m.”

“I’ll get Virgil as soon as you’re safe, okay? Don’t worry,” Remus’ soothing voice rumbled through Logan from where he was pressed to the taller’s chest, making his eyelids flutter. His arms felt like over boiled pasta and his stomach was doing flips, but Remus’ voice broke through the fog he was in and settled him in a way he hadn’t felt before. Maybe it was the drugs.

“We’re at the top of the stairs now, okay? I’ll take you to my room, since it’s the only one with a lock. So we know there won’t be any horny college kids in there, making a mess of my sheets. Gotta unlock it without dropping you, hold on, and… A HAH! Got it. You want the light on or off?”

Logan couldn’t compute the question, much less make a choice. He made a sound that was slightly reminiscent of a stalled car engine, letting his head loll towards the lump that he assumed was a bed.

“Let’s compromise.” With all the care in the world, Logan was placed onto the sheets and gently rolled onto his side, a heavy comforter pulled up to his shoulders. Remus shifted away and a dim light flashed through his eyelids, enough to notice but definitely not enough to hurt his throbbing head. A table lamp, probably.

“No falling asleep on me, okay? You need to stay awake. I don’t know what that fucker gave you. I’m texting Virgil now, he’ll be here soon. Just keep your eyes open.”

Logan opened his eyes despite his overwhelming urge to sleep, and was immediately assaulted by a swirl of colors as the world tilted. An explosion of nausea tilted him forward and he pushed himself up on his elbows.

“‘m g’nna-” He didn’t have to finish his sentence before there was a plastic garbage can under his cheek and he heaved, throwing up the remnants of dinner and all he drank that evening. He didn’t even have the energy to be embarrassed as he flopped back down onto his side, squeezing his eyes shut again.

“Oh, Logan,” Remus whispered.

There was a pounding on the door and Logan didn’t even have the energy to flinch from the violent sound. Remus stood quickly and unlocked it, barely opening it before someone barreled into the room, the newcomer gasping for breath.

“What the fuck happened?!” Virgil screamed, dropping on his knees next to the bed, hand reaching up to lay on Logan’s cheek.

“He got roofied by some motherfucker I haven’t seen before. I caught him in the stairwell before anything happened.” Remus was still standing by the open door. The music was flowing in louder now, and Virgil’s raged shouting wasn’t helping his headache at all.

“I’m going to fucking kill whoever did this. I’ll fucking kill him!”

“Virgil, you’re real hot when you’re pissed, but calm the hell down. Yelling won’t help Logan.”

“You’re… shit, you’re right. Okay. I’m fine. I’m fine.”

“Watch him. Keep him on his side, bin’s to your left if he has to hurl again. I’m cutting this shit show.”

Logan finally cracked his eyes open as the door shut, Virgil leaning backwards to lock it. When he turned back and saw his friend’s eyes open, he almost wept.

“I’m so sorry Lo, I shouldn’t have asked you to come.”

“‘s okay.”

“No, no it’s not. I got distracted talking to someone, but I should have come back sooner. You could’ve… You could’ve been…”

“Not y’r fa’lt,” Logan mumbled, reaching over blindly to try and find Virgil’s hand. The other must have sensed his intentions and gripped onto the flailing limb, interlocking their fingers.

“You better not be blaming yourself.”

Technically, he was. He should have been more careful, shouldn’t have taken a drink from a stranger, should have noticed something was off the moment his mind started to fade. Never in his life would he say that this kind of situation was the victim’s fault but… he couldn’t help it when it came to himself. He’d always been self critical that way. Bringing this up to Virgil would be a death wish, though, and an argument he certainly did not have the energy for right now.

The music cut off downstairs and Logan sighed in relief, nearly smiling at Remus’ shout for everyone to get out of his house. For someone he’d met once, he was protective, that was for sure.

Virgil didn’t force him to talk. They both just enjoyed the silence for a while, the only sound being the occasional shout from downstairs and Virgil’s sniffles. Logan couldn’t exactly blame him; he’d cry too if he had the brainpower. He didn’t though, which was the problem, so he allowed his hand to be held and allowed himself to get lost in the feeling of a thumb brushing over his knuckles.

There was a quiet knock on the door and Virgil reached over to unlock it, allowing Remus to walk back in. “Sorry that took so long. Wanted to double check that anyone using someone else as a crutch was black out drunk, not drugged. Here, sit him up.”

Virgil shifted so he was behind Logan and pulled him up against him, holding him steady as Remus lifted a glass of water to his lips. “You have to be thirsty. Do your best to keep this down, Lo.” Suddenly realizing how thirsty he actually was, Logan downed half the glass before Remus pulled it away. “Not so much, you’ll get sick.” There was a clink as the glass was placed on the bed side table. “We need to take him to the hospital. I don’t know how much whatever the fucker gave him.”

“I’m too drunk to drive,” Virgil said, gently lowering Logan back onto his side.

“I didn’t drink that much, but I’m not safe either. You got a friend who can take us?”

“Yeah,” The shorter mumbled as he shakily typed in his phone password, “I’m going to call Patton, just a second.” He moved to the furthest corner of the small room and the conversation faded into the background. At least Virgil was talking… that meant Patton picked up, right?

“Shitty way to end a pretty spectacular holiday,” Remus stated as he sat back on his spot, letting a hand rest on Logan’s leg.

“‘m s’rry.”

“Ah, shit, that’s not what I meant. I’m mad for you, not at you. Ya know,” As he spoke, he reached up and did something to his eyes, almost picking at them, “Halloween’s the only valid holiday in my book. Christmas is too overrated, Easter is senseless, Thanksgiving? No thanks, I don’t glorify genocide. But Halloween? I get to dress slutty or spooky or fucking ridiculous, and no one can give me two shits about it. I get to throw ragers and stab gourds into faces and buy discount candy until I’m fifty percent chocolate. I mean, I dyed my hair green for it, paid extra for the glow in the dark shit, and all I got were compliments.”

His hands had returned to his lap and he was fiddling with something. Logan tried to make out what it was, but it just looked like black plastic. Tiny, flexible pieces of black plastic. That Remus had pulled from his eyes.

They were colored contacts.

“I guess I do kind of blame Roman for getting me into Beetlejuice, but it is one of his least favorite musicals, so it’s also a bit of a ‘fuck you’ to him-”

“R’mus,” He breathed, and even that faint call was enough to snap Remus back to him. The taller man turned to him immediately, and Logan forgot how to breathe.

Because his eyes were brown, and in the dim light of the single lamp, they absolutely shone.

His eyes were the same brown as Logan’s hair, and Logan’s eyes became that offensive green around the same time as Remus dyed his for the costume, and that’s all the confirmation Logan needed to push himself up onto the hands and lunge forward to kiss him. The effort is strenuous and the lurch almost makes him heave again, but oh Lord, he just found his soulmate and it’s actually him and-

“Woah, woah woah woah. Hold on there, cowboy.” Remus gently pushes him back down before their lips can meet, “You are very drugged right now. I am not kissing you drugged. Sober, hell yes. But not like this.”

“Y’re my-”

“Soulmate. I know. I kind of figured when I saw your eyes. But I figured… I might as well get you to like me before I dropped that kind of bombshell. Although… I was hoping that would be accomplished by basic flirting, but then the party started getting out of hand, so I was always busy with-”

“Patton’s on his way,” Virgil spoke up, joining the two on the bed. “You okay, Lo?”

“He figured it out,” Remus said softly, letting a hand card through Logan’s hair.

“I was wondering how long that would take.”

Logan gave a weak smile, his own fear and adrenaline starting wear off slightly. He was safe here, and he felt like he wasn’t going to be let out of sight for a while.

“Drink some more water, wallflower,” Remus whispered, helping him sit up, “We’ll take care of you.”

#lywrites #tsshipmonth2020 #intrulogical #remus sanders #logan sanders #i kind of visualized that the man dropped the roofie in from his palm when he opened the drink #but i couldnt find a place to add that #not really that important tho #virgil sanders #patton sanders #rape tw #drugging tw #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides au #ts soulmate au #sanderssides #sanderssidesfanfiction #sanderssidesau

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rhinotheamazing · 3 years

Text

One side, Two lives

Chapter 11

That’s all I needed to hear

First Previous Next

Warnings: panic attack, blood, mild self harm, suicidal and self deprecating thoughts and swearing

“I’m so freaking stupid!” Roman shouted as soon as he rose up in his room. He dropped to the floor, his eyes shut tightly as they started over flowing with tears that he had held back earlier. He had been so mad and hurt after the wedding but that doesn’t excuse what he said!

“What was I thinking! Why did I say that to De-Janus! Making fun of a side’s name?! God dammit that’s one of the worst things I could say!” Roman yelled at himself as he pulled at his hair. The creative side grabbed both of his arms in a death grip as if he were trying to physically hold himself together. His breathing was becoming erratic but the prince didn’t pay it any mind as thoughts continued to swirl in his head.

I was so angry I caused Patton to have a meltdown! Janus was only tying to help and I just kept treating him like a villain and a threat! Hell he felt the need to protect Thomas from me and Patton! At this point Roman was gripping at his arms so badly that his nails had broken the skin. He didn’t even notice that his sleeves where starting to turn a bit red.

Janus was right. He’s always been right! I am the evil twin. The creative side thought sadly. I mean even Patton agreed with him and he’s the one that created the concept in the first place so it has to be true!

Well of course its true. It’s not that big of a surprise, you’ve always been a disappointment. Roman’s head snapped up when he heard the voice. It didn’t sound like just a voice in his head this time, it sounded like someone standing in the room right next to him, it sounded so much more real.

Of course I’m real! As real as what you said back there. You’re such an idiot by the way, saying that, not only to Janus, but in front of Patton? I didn’t think you could get anymore stupid but I guess I was wrong. The voice seemed to chant in his ear. Roman covered his ears with his slightly bloody hands, his breathing becoming even more frantic. He felt as if the walls of his room where caving in on him and there was no way out.

I have to get out of here, he thought, I have to get away form him! The prince looked around and spotted his closet door. Without thinking the prince got up and ran, opening the door and sprinting into the imagination. He wasn’t sure if he remembered to close the door but that was the last thing on his mind as he ran deeper and deeper into the woods of the mystical terrain.

Unfortunately even as he ran the voice didn’t let up.

I mean would it have been that hard to just listen to the others? Even I’m surprised at how egotistical you were back there! Hahaha! The voice didn’t stop for a moment and Roman didn’t either. He felt bushes and branches tear and rip at his prince costume but he didn’t care. The only thing on his mind was getting away form that dam voice!

Roman didn’t stop running until his legs eventually gave in on him and he hit the ground, he’s knees getting scrapped in the process. The prince finally took a moment to look at his surroundings. He was somewhere very rocky and its didn’t look like there was any foliage in the area. A heavy fog had set in wherever he was so he couldn’t see more than a foot away from him. He carefully stood up, his legs still shaking.

Where even am I? This doesn’t look like mine or Remus’s part of the imagination? As Roman thought that the fog began to clear. The creative side looked up, horrified as he saw the mouth of a giant cave. He knew exactly where in the imagination he was in now. Roman began backing away form the cave, memories he’d rather forget coming to mind.

How could I come back?! I have to get out of here now! The prince turned to run away but tripped on a rock that he didn’t see.

“Ha! You’re so pathetic, its no wonder all the others hate you!” The voice shouted.

“Shut up” Roman whispered back as he covered his ears.

“You cant even do you’re one job right! Your useless and everyone knows it, especially Thomas!”

“Shut up.” The fog started to swirl around the side angrily.

“There’s no way Virgil could ever care about a weakling like you! He’ll just abandon you in the end, especially when he finds out what you did today!”

“I said shut up.” Romans voice now held a hard edge to it.

“Even your brother will leave you once he realizes he’s been wasting his time caring about you!”

“Shut up!” The fog had become a storm at this point, Roman kneeling in the eye of it.

“YOU WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH! YOU COULD CHANGE EVERY LITTLE THING ABOUT YOU AND YOU’LL STILL BE A WORTHLESS NOTHING! A BURDEN TO EVERYONE AROUND YOU!”

“SHUT UP” Roman yelled as he stood up and faced the storm around him, the voice having become the thunder. “DON’T YOU THINK IV BEEN TRYING TO BE GOOD ENOUGH?! IV BEEN TRYING MY WHOLE DAM LIFE TO BE THE PERSON THEY WANT ME TO BE!”

“AND YOU’VE FAILED! ALL YOU DO IS CAUSE PAIN TO THE ONES AROUND YOU! YOU CANT BE WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO BE! HELL! YOU CANT EVEN BE WHAT YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE! YOU’RE NOT THOMAS’S HERO!”

Roman felt as if he’d just been stabbed in the gut. All the other things the voice said, he’d known all that, he’d just been trying to deny them, but today had confirmed it. He was no longer Thomas’s hero, the one thing that mattered most to him. The thing that made him keep trying to be better. Now all Thomas will sees when he looks at him is a villain.

The stormed died down as Roman fell to his knees, completely broken. The voice spoke again, this time much softer. The tone would have almost been comforting if not for the words it spoke.

“It would be better for everyone if you just disappeared.” Romans face held a sad smile as he heard those words.

“Your right. They would all be better off if I was gone. I wish I could just disappear.” You could practically hear the smile in the voice’s next words.

“That’s all I needed to hear.”

Roman realized his mistake too late.

“No! Wai-” but before he could finish his sentence a golden chain wrapped round his arm. Roman struggled and tried to pull it off but to no avail. Before he knew it more and more chains continued to wrap around his limbs and drag him into the cave. Roman tried to resist but he was in no state to fight. The cave was much deeper than it appeared to be and by the time the creative side’s back hit the wall he was in near complete darkness. A figure started to emerge in front of him and Roman could do nothing but stair wide eyed in fear.

By the time the thing in front of him completely took form the figure looked more like Roman than his own twin did. The only physical difference was a streak of black in his bangs and his outfit change. The thing wore a similar costume to that of the prince’s except the white was replaced with black and a long golden cape followed behind him. The insignia on his shoulder also had a golden crack in it going right down the middle.

The figure took a deep breath and sighed.

“It’s nice to finally have a body again, its been ages since I’ve actually been able to walk around.” The figure opened his eyes and instead of the apple green Roman’s were they were a dark red that seemed to glow ever so softly golden. Roman gasped and simply continued to stare at the side in front of him.

“Do you honestly have nothing to say to me Roman? Are you not happy to see one of your oldest friend? The side sneered at the captured prince.

“I thought you were gone.” Roman said as he now glared at the other side. “I thought me and Remus got rid of you a long time ago.” The side smiled a cruel grin and laughed.

“You actually thought you got rid of me? Ha! I may have just been reduced to a voice in the back of your head but I was never gone.” The side pulled out golden sword and twirled it around.

“And now that you’re finally out of the way, I can finally take full creative control for myself.” The figure started to walk out of the cave as Roman struggled even harder to get out of his chains, he couldn’t risk letting him go and him hurting Remus, he had to do something! Not being able to get out of the chains Roman tried his last option, talking.

“PRIDE!”

The side finally looked back at the sound of his name.

“Please,” Roman said, practically begging at this point, “please don’t hurt the others. Your conflict is with me so jut leave them out of this!” Roman yelled desperately while Pride smiled cruelly.

“You care a lot about them don’t you Roman.” He said in a smooth tone. His eyes seemed to glow a bit brighter and his smile grew ever so slightly.

“That’s exactly why I’m going to make their lives a living hell.”

Pride continued waking even a Roman yelled at him to leave the others out of it. He smiled as he reached the open fields of the imagination and saw the closet door.

“You’ve had you chance at being in charge long enough Roman, now, its my turn.”

***

Remus knew something was wrong. He had just been drawing gore in his room when he felt as if the world had shifted. What in this horrible world was that? The duke thought to himself. Although he would usually ignore something like this part of his mind told him that something important just happened, and he needed to find out what it was.

Maybe Roman will have a clue whats wrong, he was summoned earlier to talk to Thomas right? Maybe thats why I feel like someone stabbed my brain with a rusted spoon? The creative side decided he would investigate and started heading over to Roman’s room. There was a heavy feeling of unease went he got to the light sides area which confused him.

Was the argument that bad? Usually this place is filled up with disgusting rainbow and sunshine feelings but now its just, dull. Nevertheless Remus continued forward and tried to open his twins room but was slightly surprised when he found it locked. Roman almost never locks his door. The duke was starting to worry about his brother so he sunk into his twin’s room, not bothering to knock of course.

The creative side was surprised when he didn’t find his twin but a much less energetic room than on average. Usually Roman’s room radiates creative and hopeful thoughts but today a feeling of hurt and anger covered the room. Ok so somethings definitely wrong here, and where the hell is Roman? The dark side thought as he looked around the room. Remus spotted something that might help him in his endeavors.

There on the window sill sat Alexander the venus fly trap, shaking like he was in freezing cold weather. Remus crossed the room and petted the little plant.

“Hey little guy, do you know whats going on because I have absolutely no clue.” Alexander leaned into Remus’s hand as if he was trying to hide. Remus only became more concerned. He created Alexander to be a strong and brave creature, so if something scares him, it can’t be anything good. For the first time the duke noticed that Roman’s door to the imagination was open.

Ok that’s definitely not a good sign. Before the creative side could go though the door he saw a humanoid figure approaching. Remus breathed a sigh of relief.

“Hey Ro, you really got me worried there for a while.” The duke failed to notice that Alexander tried to hide even more as the side stepped though the door.

“Ha,” the figure said as it finally stepped tough the door, “sorry Remus, but I’m not Roman.” Pride smiled as he saw Remus’s face turn white as the duke recognized him. The dark side jumped back as he summoned his morning star.

“Wheres Roman?!” Remus shouted. Pride laughed at him.

“Your dear brother is gone, and soon you will be too.” The new side said as he drew his sword. Remus growled in pure anger and charged forward at the side. Pride dodged Remus swings easily and landed many blows. The creative side wasn’t in the right head space to fight as he worried about what Pride could have done to his brother. In a matter of minutes Pride had managed to disarm the duke and cornered him, the room nearly being destroyed in their fight.

“You’re nearly as pathetic as Roman and I didn’t even think that was possible.” Pride laughed as Remus growled at the fact that someone would dare talk about his twin in such a way.

“You’re just a stupid little beast. Actually,” Pride said as a smile made its way onto his face, “that gives me an idea.” The red clad side snapped his fingers and Remus let out a scream of. pain and shut his eyes tightly.

When he opened them he looked up at his now much taller foe. The duke raised his hands to look at himself and saw that they had been transform into, green tentacles?! Remus tried to curse but he could only make small clicking sounds with his beak. Pride chuckle and using his powers crafted a tank on the still standing desk. He then proceeded to pick up the green octopus and chucked it into the tank, Remus slowly sinking to the bottom and as a lid was placed over the inclosure.

Pride, now having full creative control, fixed the room with a wave of his hand. The room took up a much darker aesthetic with black and gold being the main colors. The new side smiled at his work. Things were finally going his way after so long of waiting. A dark smile came onto his face as he whispered to himself,

“Long live the new king.”

Tag list:

@lovelivingmydreams

#sander sides #roman sanders #pride!roman #roman angst #octopus remus #remus sanders #my writing #mention of panic attack #self deprecating thoughts #slight self harm #mention of gore

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waokevale · 4 years

Text

Virgil's reaction Theory to Janus being now in process of becoming a Light Side.

As we all should know after the latest episode Deceit, now called Janus might've been accepted by Thomas and Patton, technically Logan too, since he's the most morally neutral and does not believe in such things as pure good or evil.

Roman is still very confused, so I think he'll still be against Janus in the next Sanders Sides episode.

Besides he's the only one now who believes in Black and White Morality of the world, since Patton has had changed his opinion about this topic in SVS 2.

Thomas from now on is apparently going to be more acceptant of Janus's opinion and might stop calling him Deceit from now on, knowing his real name.

And of course, we don't know yet about Remus's reaction to this 'Deceit changing sides' and this 'comparing Roman to him in frustration anger.'

He might as well not care about it much or be really upset about it.

But the real question is, how would Virgil react to all of that?

[The so called "juicy plot" as Thomas and Joan said on their livestream]

In my opinion it would be either one if these three optional reactions received from him with different probable outcomes.

1. He'd either hate on the idea, saying things like:

-"WAIT WHAT?! WHY DID YOU TRUST HIM THOMAS! HE'S A LIAR! HE'S PROBABLY TRYING TO MANIPULATE YOU!"

Or as such.

And then maybe he'd go on supporting Roman's side in his believies.

If this one was actually about to occur, which I much highly doupt that he'd react the similar way to that, do to different reasons I'll explain right now and later on.

Imagine, If Virgil and Roman could actually be able to trigger Deceit to the point when he'd do the same thing that Virgil did 3 years ago....

Quit.

They'd then realize the giant consequences of their mistake do to Thomas's mental health getting worse,

which would result in serious problems as it would not be an intelligent way to act.

[As Thomas indeed confirmed the theory about Janus being caretaker of his mental health, besides Deceit, being his self-preservation and denial.]

That is why I doupt that Virgil would try to make Janus quit or something similar to that, because he's not stupid. If he hasn't known about it yet, he'd figure out eventually that Janus's intentions are good as well as it's means that are as important as Virgil's himself.

Even though he didn't know how to exactly show it well at first,

(The same we could say about Virgil)

his intentions are indeed good for Thomas. As he cares very much about his host's mental state.

Besides I don't think Thomas would do the quitting plot over and over again.

Repeating something is not his way of doing things. So I don't think something like that could occur.

2. Virgil may feel Janus's situation and understand it.

Even if not fully trusting him yet.

After all, he was in the same exact place once.

He was one of them and probably knows what his old friend is going through.

Besides that, I don't think he actually hates hates them, he doesn't really seem to.

Sure. He may despise them now but I doupt he really feels strong hatred of any kind towards them.

His playlist did in some way said that he might miss them and tries to ignore this fact, putting a hate mask over to hide it.

Because he's a light side now and it feels wrong to still like someone who you'd [Kind of, because we still not know the reason why] betrayed.

The light sides just felt...Better in a way.

He may not trust Janus fully. But I believe he'll be already slightly convinced, especially that he already knows how it feels to reveal something so important, how stressing and scary it is...

(And then getting laughed at by Roman)

Though to this theory I included another one which might be less possible but still not completely impossible yet.

It was talked about a few times already, so you might as well know about it.

It's just a quick reminder.

Since Roman believes that everything is black and white, he still somehow doesn't have the sense of grey morals/neutrality.

Even though Virgil was one of the dark sides that turned good, which he participated in the process of the other's change.

Yet now, he is frustrated, he doesn't know If he can trust Patton as much anymore, even his own host, Thomas.

He said it himself that "they weren't supposed to be on the evil side, because Deceit was evil."

When Thomas wanted to comfort him, assuring that he was still his hero, he looked at Janus, probably looking for lies, who then nodded.

Not every one of us had similar opinion, although Thomas let us thought about this ourselves.

Janus migh've been hurt, but that doesn't mean he was trying to say that Thomas was lying about Roman still being his hero.

But let's get to the point.

If Virgil actually took Janus's side, Roman would have no one else, or almost no one else to side with him.

As we still don't know Remus's reaction, as I said before, we can't be exactly sure yet, if Remus would be with it or against it.

Though if even Remus would get his chance, to turn "good" maybe then Roman would have an angsty moment, like:

-"Even Remus got the chance! I'm not needed anymore, there's no need to have two light creativities..."

[Since he kinda seems like the type who DOESN'T understand what sharing a role is]

At this point he could even snap, making himself the bad guy.

But yet again, that's just a theory and its possible that nothing like this might ever occur.

There's also the third theory.

Virgil being completely confused and not understanding why or how did Janus became a lighter side.

I can't exactly describe it like the other two, but I think this one wouldn't be as angsty.

In my own, personal opinion I think that "Virgil slowly starting to trust Janus again" is the most possible reaction or is on the same level as the third option.

But let me know what you think.

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sanders-sides-fic · 4 years

Text

There are no nice deathworlders! (Right?) [Chapter 4]

AU materpost: here

The next two days were extremely frustrating. Still no sign of Janus and the creathen was either too proud or too dense to realize that Virgil was helping him. Every other movement caused him to jump or flinch and he didn’t eat anything unless prompted to do so multiple times. Well, at least the healing process came along nicely from what Virgil could see.

It was their third evening together, when he finally spoke up. “Hey, dark-and-ominous over there? Uhm… Do you… speak common by any chance?”, he asked in a wavering, insecure tone.

Virgil only looked at him silently. The answer was obviously yes, since Janus had made quite an effort in teaching him and he hadn’t had a choice but to become better afterwards. But he didn’t really know if he wanted to talk to the creath who obviously didn’t like him. And even if he wanted to, he was absolutely sure that he couldn’t talk when the creath looked at him that expectantly. It got easier once he said the first few words, spoke up for the first time. And then it got easier and easier until he would only fall silent when he got scared. But right now? When he never talked to the other creature at all and he also looked at Virgil so hopeful? No way. In other words: Let the awkward silence begin!

After a few eternal moments, the creath finally let out a sigh. “Oh, great!” He let his head fall against the stone wall of their little cave in frustration. But he still continued to speak, obviously trying to convey the meaning of his words with the tone of voice he used as well as some clumsy gestures with his bound-up claws. “Look, I need to go. What ever you are playing at, there are people who need me right now. Come on, surely you have someone dear to you as well?”

Janus. Virgil’s head came up with the name and the memory of a tired but smug smile right away. ‘How do you like your weapons now, huh?!’, echoed through his mind.

“Or not. You are a deathworlder, after all…”, the creath sighed before Virgil could react to what the creath had said. He rolled his eyes. Of cause the creath thought so. Just a dumb, violent deathworlder, right? God, and he used to think that humans had a lot of prejudges. Apparently that was something every living being had in common.

Great. And now he imagined a plant judging him when he walked past. Not an image he had needed or wanted to have in his head. Maybe nor being around any humans for so long had fucked him up more than he had realized, and made his social anxiety apply to even more situations. Looked as though he would never be able to talk to this alien over there. With a frustrated huff, he decided to leave again and look for either Janus or that creath’s crew mates. Not that the creath deserved a favor from him, but the other aliens hadn’t done anything to Virgil, yet at least, so he didn’t see a reason to leave them to die.

Both of them were unaware that this conversation took place not so far away from one of said crew mates. The lanky alien had hidden in a cave close enough to see from their own. But neither of the parties had noticed that the other cave was occupied.

Logan was sitting with his head turned away from the entrance, hidden behind a crease. The sun was so much brighter than on his own planet and his protective gear had been damaged quite some bit. At least his glasses were still in tact. Patton would have been quite upset if they would have been damaged, after the little one had gone through all the trouble just to make sure the sun-ray-canceling device matched the light-amplifier he himself used on occasion.

Logan let out a sigh, observing the scale he had found. Unmistakably Roman’s. He had to have landed somewhere around here, as Logan had found the scale rather quickly after the crash. No sign of Patton as of yet, but he hoped to find him with Roman. He knew the chances were slim and also he knew the chances of both of them living was even slimmer, but since Roman’s scale hadn’t lost its vibrant hue, it had to have come loose while the creathen was still alive. Now all he had to do was to hope that that hadn’t changed yet and that he would find his friend soon.

Logan was trapped here until the sun was hidden on this side of the planet, though. Unfortunately. But, a set-back was not a loss yet. He refused to give up hope as long as the chances were not annihilated completely. It would seem, living with Patton had influenced him after all.

And then, suddenly, he heard something. It sounded like steps at the mouth of the cave. A few sounds - Logan would have presumed a language unknown to him, had he not known that he knew every language in this galactic quadrant - echoed through his hiding space. Whatever was there was a predator, Logan knew that much. You could just tell by the cautious, stealthy movements. Especially Logan, who belonged to a species known for their intellect far and wide.

And then Logan was able to catch a glimpse of a reflection on the wet, metal-like wall of this cave. The reflection of a being he wouldn’t have thought to ever come across, especially not in this galactic quadrant. No wonder he had not been able to understand their sounds, it had been a language after all. A deathworlder language. He prayed that the creature wouldn’t advance further into the cave as he pressed against the wall more firmly, cursing his fluorescent skin in his head. What this would mean for finding his friends, well, he would think about that later. Much later. For now, he only hoped not to be seen.

What even was a human doing here?! Them being here changed everything. He could only pray to the stars that they hadn’t yet come across Roman or Patton. And since Roman had to be around here somewhere, he knew he had to find his friend quickly. Otherwise there was no telling what would happen to the creathen.

Logan shuddered.

Something did strike him odd, though. The human didn’t seem to be looking for refuge, but for something else. Someone, perhaps? Not in a predatory kind of way, if he wasn’t mistaken. But what else could a deathworlder search anyone for? Logan’s observatory skills must have been worse than he thought. Dulled down by his lack of nutrition and sleep, he presumed.

He shook his head. Of cause it was predatory. How stupid of him. He continued to observe their reflection until they turned around and left. They appeared to have overlooked Logan’s little crease. And Logan, for once, could not believe his luck. Maybe Roman was right, maybe praying to the stars did something after all. But then he scoffed. Of cause not. The very thought surely only crossed his mind because he was a hybrid. A purebred would never have considered such nonsense.

Virgil was still unaware of the alien in the cave when he left. It had become a habit to check every cave close to his own in the morning, looking for signs of Janus having taken refuge from the weather there, or better yet: Janus himself. Of cause Virgil never found anything at all. Today was no exception. And though Virgil felt somewhat resigned, he hadn’t really expected anything else.

With a sigh he decided to go south this time. Or, what he believed to be south. Based on the was the sun worked. But then again, north and south had been something because of the magnetic field around earth, right? Who knew if those directions even worked like that on this planet. If there was one thing Virgil had learned from this entire disaster, it was that earth was a terrible gauge throughout the galaxy.

He was still in the milky-way, right? Was it physically possible to have left that galaxy? Before this ordeal, he would have denied the possibility, but after everything that had happened, who really knew?

He shook his head. Probably should stop thinking. Thinking was a terrible idea when he was alone. His thoughts would only drift too far. So he decided to pay attention to the scenery around him. He would have to walk only a little further until he would reach the beach. That was where he had left off yesterday. By now Virgil knew that Janus wasn’t in the forrest or anywhere in the cave system or close to the river. There was no one by the waterfalls or any of the meadows he’d come across so far. That left the mountains that lay presumably in the east and the beach. And the rest of the planet beyond this island, of cause.

Virgil stoped, his worn out shoes covered in sand. What was he even doing here? There was no way he would be capable of searching an entire planet, even if it was a small one. And he wasn’t even sure that Janus was here! The universe was so huge and a human was so small, there was no way he’d be able to find anyone alone! Thousands of stars shone every night on the sky, and every single one of them was surrounded by multiple planets and Janus could be basically everywhere. And Virgil hadn’t even found any of the creath’s crew mates, and he knew they had to be here!

He would never find Janus again.

That realization hit hard, harder even than he thought, hear enough to bring the human boy to his knees. Because what did he have left then? Virgil didn’t know where he was, couldn’t find his way back home. His only friend was long gone and everyone else in the entire universe seemed to hate his entire species.

The first tears started to hit the floor and his shoulders shook violently.

He was lost and alone. Maybe it would just be for the best to let the guards find him. Or just stay here, until a storm killed him. At least here were no intelligent life forms that would hunt him down. Here he would be able to just die in peace. That was better than any other planet, at least.

Okay, maybe he didn’t mean that. But still, his future was looking pretty bleak right now. And he really didn’t know what do to anymore. It was paralyzing to him, this feeling of uncertainty and powerlessness. It was devastating and it hurt and he wanted to just give up at this point.

After a long while of just sitting there and crying, he stood back up. This planet, he decided. He would finish searching this planet and after that he would stop. After this planet, it would be enough secretly sneaking around markets and searching for gossip about himself and his companion. Enough putting himself in danger for the slightest chance of finding Janus. Enough getting his hopes up. Enough shattered dreams of reuniting. If he wouldn’t find Janus on this last planet, he would let go.

Drying his eyes with his sleeve, he finally looked up - and jumped back when he found a sylemn starring back at him. The big, green frog eyes were definitely fixated on him. How long… How long had that alien been there? Were they going to attack him? No, not likely. The sylemn species was known for their peaceful, trusting nature. And Virgil had carelessly offered the perfect opportunity to strike, too. No, probably not.

And then Virgil noticed the way they were standing there. Looked as though their wing was missing a piece and one of their legs didn’t look so good either. He winced in sympathy as he realized that that had probably happened during their crash. And they seemed to be just as alone as the creath…

The creath! Remus’ other half. Of cause, they must have been from the same ship, so they must know each other. It would probably help both of them to know each other safe. Especially since the creath had started talking about them this morning! But would the sylemn be able to reach the cave like that? Probably not. No, actually Virgil was more than sure that they would not.

Alright, then. How to convince them that he wouldn’t hurt them but bring them to their friend instead? And with no words no less?

Fuck!

He sighed. Alright, at least sylemns were supposed to be trusting. So maybe, just maybe he would be able to lure them to come with him?

Okay, so now Virgil sounded like some creepy kidnaper, even to himself. Yeah, no, he would probably fail. But it was worth a try nonetheless. So he let out a deep breath and made a single, slow, hopefully nonthreatening steep towards the other. The sylemn flinched, but stayed still other than that. So far so good.

Virgil decided that it would probably be best to keep his hands where the other could see them but also in a way that the sylemn wouldn’t think he would raise them for an attack. So he slowly raised his hands and put them behind his head, the way you would do back on earth when getting arrested. A kind of nostalgic position, really. Only that this time there was no gun pointed at him. Instead, he kind of was the gun in this scenario.

It looked as though raising his hands had been the right call. At least the sylemn had relaxed a bit and was now watching in careful confusion. Confusion was good. Or, well, it was better than fear or anger at least. Virgil took another deep breath, hoping that that wasn’t something predatory in some alien-culture. Alright.

Virgil then lowered himself to his knees again. Don’t loom over the small sylemn, look less threatening and then approach slowly. Each movement was slow enough that the sylemn would be able to react and enough to make sure when he should back off again. But the sylemn only continued looking at him as though he was an enigma. Then again, a human not attacking probably was an enigma to the alien.

It took him over a minute to cross the small path between them, but when he had, Virgil realized… He had no idea what to do now. Well, great… Now what? He sighed. Maybe…

Maybe this could work?

taglist :)

@the-ultimate-a @bunny222 @elvis-has-been-dug @what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me @demonically-posessed-gnome

#humans are deathworlders #deathworlder #sanders sides #sanders sides au #deathworlder au #fanfiction #sanders sides fic

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suffering-is-my-comfort-zone · 5 years

Text

Prompt for @smallballofanxiety: Virgil teleports to anyone who gets anxious and this time it happens to be someone he never expected

Pairing: Platonic Virgil and Deceit

Word count: 1694

Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit, Panic attacks, Self deprecating thoughts, slight suicidal thoughts

Virgil wasn’t quite sure when it started, he knew that whenever Thomas was experiencing anxiety he would show up. He had always just assumed it was because he was the embodiment of anxiety. Slowly, however, he noticed it was whenever someone was anxious. First it was slow, he had a feeling that he was being summoned to whichever side was experiencing it. Soon it escalated to him suddenly being teleported to their side.

Whenever Roman was anxious about Thomas’ new audition, whenever Logan was stressed out about the schedule, or when Patton was becoming overwhelmed by emotions there he was. Out of nowhere he was right next to the side where ever they are. This put him in some compromising situations at times, especially when they would blame him for the anxiety they were feeling. After a while of mysteriously popping up, the light sides became used to it. They no longer jumped when he appeared but instead talked to him about it. It made Virgil feel more like one of the light sides. He never expected to pop up next to one of the dark sides.

That particular day Deceit had just gone back to his room after attempting to get the light sides to see his point of view. He couldn’t figure out what else to do to get them to see that he was also trying to protect Thomas. They all saw him as nothing more than a liar, a snake who was always poised to bite. It wasn’t his fault that he was created specifically to deceive Thomas and those around him. He was able to tell the truth; he just had a hard time with it. Anxi-Virgil, should know better than anyone what that’s like.

How was it that he was able to escape being a dark side? Why were they called the dark sides anyways? They all served the same purpose, helping Thomas. Deceit couldn’t understand why Virgil would act that way towards him, they used to be so close. Did he simply forget about all that? Did the light sides trick him into thinking that Remus and him were so much worse than the three of them? Would he ever be able to work along side them? Yes, he was a little overpowering with his lies but he didn’t mean any harm. Neither did Remus. Did he do something wrong? Was his lies the reason Virgil left him? Was he giving too much of his time to Remus? Virgil had to understand that Remus needed more attention because he did dangerous things, right?

Virgil was in the middle of talking to Roman about Nightmare before Christmas when he suddenly was back in the dark side of Thomas’ mind. For a moment he froze in fear, thinking that maybe he did something to be forced from the light sides. Then he noticed Deceit in the corner, curled up with his knees to his chest. He hesitantly took a step forward and cleared his throat in hopes to gain the others attention.

“H-Hey Dee, is everything alright there?” Virgil crouched down by his once good friend. He could see the tears streaming down his face as Deceit quickly sat up and wiped his eyes.

“Of course not, why are you here?” Deceit’s voice cracked as he lied to the anxious trait. He didn’t want anyone seeing him cry. He had a reputation to uphold.

“You sure about that? You seem upset.” Virgil wasn’t sure how to react, he could see through Deceit’s lies. One of the perks of knowing him for so long. He didn’t want to associate with the dark side for longer than he needed to, but he also knew that even if he left, he’d be teleported right back. When Deceit looked up at him, he saw everything he needed to know. Deceit’s eyes showed all his fear and anxiety even as he stood up.

“Shouldn’t you not be with your new friends? Planning all the ways to keep us around.” The lies didn’t flow as easily as he wanted them to. He still was lost in his thoughts. Why was Virgil here? To rub his betrayal in his face again? Make fun of him for failing at his attempts?

“I uh-had a feeling that something was wrong. I can sense anxiety, it is kinda my thing.” Virgil ran his hand through his hair. He didn’t want to deal with any of this, why would Deceit be anxious about anything. He was cocky about everything he did. Even when they hung out he was always so confident. It was one of the things Virgil admired about him.

“I’m not anxious!” Deceit yelled out accidentally causing Virgil to flinch. He looked down at the ground, of course Virgil left them. They were always too loud, too energetic, too overwhelming. Deceit started to hyperventilate as he thought about more reasons why Virgil left. He assumed that Virgil had already left when he yelled as the anxious boy hadn’t said anything. Everything was messed up because of him, he couldn’t do anything right, he couldn’t even keep his small family together.

Virgil watched as tears started flowing down Deceit’s face again. He hesitated for a moment before pulling the older side into a hug, shocking both of them. Deceit tried to pull away from the hug but Virgil just tightened his hold.

“Shhhh, breathe. Just breathe. Match your breaths with mine.” Virgil led him over to the bed and sat him down. Deceit was starting to have a panic attack and Virgil needed to calm him down now before it got out of control. He put Deceits hand against his own chest to have him feel the anxious traits breathing. By now Deceit was full on sobbing when he realized that Virgil hadn’t left his side.

“Why are you still here? Shouldn’t you be with your friends instead of being here with me?” He couldn’t bring himself to lie about his current feelings with everything going on in his head. After the way Virgil treated him in front of the others it didn’t make sense for him to stay. Virgil shook his head and rubbed Deceit’s back with his free hand.

“I can’t leave you like this. I’m not gonna let you spiral into a panic attack; I know how fun those are.” Virgil tried to crack a joke to make the other side laugh. His attempt was unsuccessful but he did get a small smile in return. Deceit’s breathing was starting to return to normal but he was still crying.

“I can’t imagine how those are any fun at all. Maybe for Remus.” Deceit looked over at Virgil looking for any sign of a lie. All he could see on the anxious trait face was true concern. “Why are you so concerned? Aren’t you supposed to hate me?”

Virgil’s face dropped at Deceit’s words; he didn’t realize that he had hurt Deceit’s feelings so badly. “Dee, I never hated you. I just don’t want the others to hate me again. You’re still my friend, I still care about you.”

“Isn’t this supposed to be the other way around V? I’m supposed to comfort you when you panic, not the other way around.” Deceit chuckled slightly, hiccuping halfway through his statement. It was very reminiscent of the times before Virgil left, only with the roles reversed. Virgil rolled his eyes and gave Deceit a rare smile.

“Part of growing up means I don’t need to rely on you all the time. What’s caused you to panic so badly? Aren’t you always confident?” Deceit’s face fell slightly, he didn’t want to admit his fear to Virgil. He wanted Virgil to still look up to him, especially when the anxious trait called him confident. He pulled away from Virgil slightly and put his hand behind his neck.

“Its stupid really. Nothing you need to be concerned about. You should head back to the others before they realize you’re gone.” Deceit was trying to force Virgil to leave, trying to lie like he’s supposed to be. Virgil simply shook his head; he knew that Roman had assumed he was transported to another side. No one questioned his random disappearances anymore.

“Talk to me Dee, I’m here for you.” Deceit looked at him warily, deciding whether he could trust Virgil. He never questioned the anxious trait before but what if he’s changed after hanging out with the light sides. He wanted to trust Virgil, like how Virgil always trusted him. After deliberating for a few seconds, he sighed.

“I’m just- It’s just- Ugh.” He took off his hat and played with the rim. “I’m not insecure about my position in Thomas’ mind. I’m not thinking that Thomas would be better if I didn’t exist. I’m not wondering if I’ll ever be accepted as a legitimate side. I should just duck out and not come back.” Virgil stared at Deceit in shock. Dee thought that he wasn’t worth enough to be an actual side. Virgil knew how that felt, that’s why he tried to duck out before.

“Dee, you’re very important to Thomas. Without you he wouldn’t be able to ignore all the negative comments that he gets. Ducking out isn’t the answer, what would Remus and I do without you? You help all of us, without you Remus would be too prominent in Thomas’ mind and I would be too much of a nuisance to him. Don’t you dare talk about ducking out.” Virgil grabbed Deceit’s shoulders as he talked. The anxious trait looked Deceit in his eyes and frowned. “You’re my friend Deceit, I can’t imagine you not being here. I care about you and I’m sorry if I made you feel like you weren’t. I promise I’ll make more time for you, just don’t duck out, please.”

Deceit’s eyes teared up again, Virgil’s eyes showed nothing but the truth. The anxious trait generally cared about him; the reason why didn’t matter. He was just happy to hear it. Virgil pulled him in for another hug and Deceit thought that maybe, just maybe, things weren’t as bad as he thought they were.

#tw panic attack #tw suicidal thoughts #tw self deprecation #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #sanders sides #my writing

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lugubrious-poltergeist · 4 years

Text

First Meeting

Logan, after reading over what Virgil sent them, was willing to give the Ghost Box thing a try. The theories on ghosts were fascinating and he was childishly excited over the idea of being able to talk to their invisible stalker, even if it seemed to not like him when they first moved in. If this ghost really was this Remus kid, then the dislike made sense. Remus lived with his unnamed twin and abusive father, the fact a teen not much older than he was when he disappeared and a single father moving in may have been what made the ghost more active than he was in the past. Logan is in no way like Remus’s father, he’d rather die than harm Dee like that, but the situation may have been enough to give the ghost more situational awareness.

“Dad” Dee snaps Logan out of his thoughts, “Can we make popcorn? Virgil set up the ghost radio and is now picking out a movie in case the ghost doesn’t want to talk. They seem to think if the ghost is too shy to talk about themselves, maybe we could ask what it thought of the movie instead.”

“There is logic behind that idea, I suppose.” Logan hums in amusement before frowning as there’s a knock on the front door. No one in the house was particularly social and Virgil’s parents are borderline abusive from what Logan’s seen (Social Services would be called in an instant when they finally cross the line, but for now, Logan contents himself with the fact Virgil knows this is a safe place to escape when they need it) so Logan has no idea who might be at the door.

‘ Only one way to find out’ Logan gets up with a disgruntled sigh, only to realize Dee beat him to the punch and was already opening the door.

“Oh!” Came a semi-startled androgynous voice before it warms, which is much better than most who see Dee’s scarred face for the first time “Hello, sorry to bother you. Is one of your parents home?”

Dee just looks at Logan before stepping out of the way with a lazy, “Yeah.”

Logan rolls his eyes fondly before stepping into the doorway, only to have his brain short circuit at the sight of the Very pretty man standing nervously on the doorstep. Much to Logan’s relief, the man seems to be just think Logan is one of those tall, dark, and silent type and isn’t having gay panic. when Logan takes too long to speak and startles rambling out why he’s there.

“I’m sorry to bother you and your family. I have a weird request. Could I possibly walk about your house? Wait! That sounds weird! I-um, How do I put this? I used to live here with my brother and father and a lot of bad stuff happened and my therapist thinks visiting the place everything happened would help me heal from some of the traum-” He’s abruptly cut off by Virgil shoving Logan out of the way and shouting in excitement.

“Are You Remus’s Twin!?”

“Virgil.” Logan gives the teen a chastising look as he straighten, but catches their guest’s shocked wide eyes.

“Wha-what?” Shock fades to aggression, “ How Do You Know That Name?”

Logan takes control of the situation, watching the man, “They were looking into the history of the house and came across the police report about your missing brother and abusive father.”

Aggression turns to grief in a flash, “What an odd thing to be interested in, but I guess you know a good deal about what happened then. I honestly never wanted to see this house again, but the good Doctor said it’d help to see it again and see it in a different light.”

“I can see how that could hold some merit. I agree to let you walk through the house, but only with one of us with you, as you are a stranger.” Logan fights to not blush at the smile of pure sunshine that gets aimed at him in response before the stranger gets flustered again.

“Oh, gosh, I never introduced myself. Where are my manners today?” The man straightens and somehow gives off a Disney prince vibe as he extends his hand while smiling, “I’m Roman Sanders.”

“Logan Love, the two teens are my son, Dee and his friend Virgil. Dee and I use he/him pronouns while Virgil uses they/them.” Logan says and takes Roman’s hand for a hand shake, only for Roman to, instead, kiss the back of his hand. Logan can hear the teens snickering at his bright red face.

“Pleasure to meet you all” Roman beams, “I use he/him pronouns!”

Dee instantly decides he likes this guy and lightly grabs his wrist and pulls him in, “I’ll show you around while dad reboots his brain, I wanna know how the house was when you lived here.”

Roman blinks, but rolls with it, appreciating that the way Dee is holding his wrist makes it easy to escape if he feels the need. Especially as he realizes he’s the shortest one there, being at least half a foot shorter than the next shortest person, Virgil, and a near foot and a half shorter than Logan. He tells them some of the happier tales he has to tell about each room, they all mostly involve the two brothers being home alone and goofing off. The teens share some of their own goofy stories with Logan adding something here or there. They also get off topic, talking about jobs and hobbies, which reveals Roman to be from out of town. The oddly prince-like man bonds with the small family pretty easily and is invited to dinner by the time they go upstairs, which took longer than it should have.

“I’m hesitant to go up there.” Roman admits when they get halfway up the staircase, sorrow suddenly heavy in his voice, “The last I saw my brother was in his room and we had had some stupid fight. Something dumb that I can’t quite remember, but I stormed off and then he was gone when I got back...”

“You can take your time. If you need to come back at a later date, then we can do that. Let me give you my number before you leave.” Logan says patiently, ignoring the snickering teens mumbling about that being the “only reason” for the number exchange. Logan just takes it as their way to distract themselves from the terribleness of the situation.

“Thanks... I appreciate it. I’d like to try to at least visit Remus’s old room, even if I do end up ugly crying.” Roman lightly smiles at Logan, but is too in thought to notice the teens are near silently making fun of Logan’s obvious interest and his own obviousness.

“Alright...” Roman gives a few more funny stories when they enter his old room , now Dee’s room, and just kind of shrugs when they enter his father’s old room, now Logan’s room, explaining he’s never really been in there, Remus was the one who’d sneak in if they needed something in there. The guest room is where thing got interesting, it used to be Remus’s room and when Roman finally started crying in the middle of explaining the mess Remus kept his room in , a light bulb exploded. Startling them all, as there’s no reason why it should have exploded like that, but it seems their ghost was done being quiet because the guest bed’s blanket then wrapped around Roman and other stuff got thrown around. No one got hurt, just freaked out and once everything stopped moving, both Virgil and Roman looked faint, neither having experienced a haunting before.

“I may have neglected the reason Virgil looked into the history of the house is because we appear to have a ghost.” Logan says calmly, still a little pale from the shock.

“A What!?” Roman looks terrified as he removes the blanket, finding no reason for the blanket to have attacked him.

“Why don’t we go to the kitchen? It’s about time I started dinner and I think a hot comfort drink is in order. Do you prefer hot chocolate, tea, or coffee?” Logan just sounds tired, which has Roman sputtering. The sputtering turns into an indignant squeak as the ghost ruffles his hair and the static electricity makes his golden hair stand up.

“He likes you.” Dee muses before demanding hot chocolate and dragging a shell shocked Virgil out of the room with him. Logan just rolls his eyes before focusing on the tiny man flattening his hair and grumbling.

“I’ll explain more in the kitchen when we have our drinks.” Roman gives up on flattening his hair to eye Logan, slightly intimidated to be in the room alone with the tall man, but refusing to be meek like he once was.

“Do you have earl grey?”

“We should.” Logan hums and leads the way to the kitchen, where he see one of the teens turned on the kettle and so he just starts pulling of ingredients, “Any food allergies?”

“Shellfish.” Roman says, fidgeting because he doesn’t know what to do with himself before ultimately just taking a seat at the table nearby.

“Noted.” Logan starts preparing things for a mild curry and chicken with rice, “Now, I’ll tell you about some of the things that have happened since Dee and I moved in.”

Logan talks about the strange things that were small at first and slightly more malicious where he’s involved before they toned down, only for the ghost to take out a burglar one night and become active again. He only paused one moment to make and hand out the different drinks, hot chocolate for Dee, sweetened earl grey for Roman, sugary coffee with cream for Virgil, and a cup of coffee with a little cream for Logan himself and note that the weather turned at some point and it was now raining.

“That was one of the biggest out bursts we’ve seen so far. Makes our theory seem even more plausible.” Logan says sipping his coffee while pausing for the curry to thicken and chicken to finish baking.

“Theory?” Roman asks mentally chewing on everything he’s heard and fiddling with his empty cup.

“We have reason to believe our ghost may be your brother. I let the kids get a spirit box to try to talk to him, they were planning to do that when you showed up.” Logan eyed Roman a moment, “You can stay for that after dinner if you want.”

“If it’s alright with you, I think I need to think about everything first, if that alright with you” Was all Roman said before his face met the table.

“Of course, I’ll tell you if the kids get him to say anything”

“Thanks... I appreciate it.”

“Not a problem. Now dinner is almost ready, eat as much as you like.”

#logan sanders #roman sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #virgil sanders #ghost remus #remus mention #lugubriouspoltergeist #tw abuse #food mention

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greenninjagal-blog · 5 years

Text

White Lily Guardian (pt2)

Summary: Virgil shows up at a funeral for his distance cousin, but someone forgot to tell him Remy named him the next-in-line guardian of his son Thomas. And taking care of a kid might just been the least of Virgil’s problems when Thomas’s (unpleasant) grandmother is in the mix.

Words: 3035

Part One

Featuring: Virgil, kid!Thomas, Emile Picani, and mentions of the dreaded dragon witch and best dad!remy (along with a car crash)

Taglist: @background-noise-headache @prplzorua @pumpkinminette @puns-and-patton

General Taglist: @felicianoromano @jemthebookworm

“I’m sorry you had to find out this way,” Picani says, with a hint was resentment in his tone, about an hour after Madam Hydrus had removed herself from the property.

Virgil doesn’t say anything, but he agrees with the older man so much its nearly overwhelming. His mind is alarmingly quiet, his shoulders hunched in anticipation for the onslaught of pure, unadulterated panic he knows is coming: it feels a lot like he’s walking right next to a cliffside with a blindfold on—why is he doing this, why can’t he just take the blind fold off, why can’t he just walk away? Or better yet, why can’t he just fall already?

Then Picani will see that he is unfit to be a parent and he’ll be able to move Thomas to the next family member Remy picked out, someone who isn’t that awful snakelike lady that had made Thomas cry so hard. Thomas doesn’t deserve this, any of it.

He didn’t deserve to have his father taken away so suddenly, to have all these people look down on him with pity, to have someone who terrifies him very nearly take him away. He certainly doesn’t deserve to have someone as awful as Virgil come through and try to make up for everything he lost.

Virgil doesn’t even know what kind of person Remy was, much less what kind of dad. Was he the kind that wanted to be involved in every aspect of Thomas’s life? Did he bake cookies in the kitchen and show up to the PTA meetings and brag about how amazing Thomas was until every other parent hated him? Or was he a recluse? Did he let Thomas come to him with questions rather than go asking for them and never respond to teacher emails or show up to meetings because he knew everything that was important about Thomas already?

Virgil looks down at Thomas, who was tucked into his chest. Virgil is by no means the type of guy who works out, but even then, he can still carry Thomas from the front lawn into the house with only a mild amount of strain (Did Remy carry him like that? Oh, fuck, what if he was carrying the kid wrong?). The house is strangely quiet, and tense and the same feeling settles over them like a knife poised just between Virgil’s shoulder blades. Even Thomas’s sobs become breathless hiccups. Picani motions Virgil to follow him up the stairs and he’s struck by the strange amount of familiarity that the man has for this place.

Who was he again?

A lawyer of some sort? Someone who had access to Remy’s will at least.

Virgil doesn’t remember the upstairs of the house, which is really no surprise. He’d never dare exploring a house that wasn’t his even as an adult. There was something about it that his shoulders tense, waiting for someone to pop out of the rooms and ask him what he was doing. Even with Picani leading the way and Thomas in his arms, Virgil could feel the walls judging him.

There are pictures on the walls, but Picani doesn’t bother turning on the lights and its too dark to see what they are. Somehow that doesn’t help Virgil’s anxiety much.

They come to a room which Picani pushes open and turns on the light. Virgil hesitates to follow. He’s not sure why, because the room is far more inviting than the dark, dreary hallway. Thomas buries his head into Virgil’s shoulder, and it’s a little uncomfortable but he can’t bring himself to complain about it.

Inside the room it’s warm—in all senses of the word. Virgil feels like he stepped into a sauna the second his shoes slip through the doorway. It surprises him, slightly, because he hadn’t realized how cold he was until then. Beside that, its decorated like a kid’s paradise: action figures from several cartoons all over the place—some of which Virgil vaguely remembers from years and years ago with a tiny smile—poster from video games and Disney, and a coffee table had construction papers, glitter, and glue. Picani quickly walks to a rather large wooden desk (decorated in children’s crayon drawings of houses and dogs and blobs that probably meant something to a kid somewhere) and rifles through a stack of papers on the top of it.

When he turns back around, he’s holding a packet of papers that makes Virgil’s insides a little squeamish; it looks like a every instructional manual Virgil has ever been handed. Was this “How To Tell When Someone Is an Unfit Parent for Dummies”? Because Virgil could save them both time and just announce to him that he was the least fit person to be taking care of a kid. He had come to the funeral in a rented suit because he didn’t have one himself, there’s still paint on his knuckles that he couldn’t wash off in time for the service, and he forgets to eat at least twice a day.

Virgil’s childhood was limited to the tabulations of his parents’ moods towards him, but even he knows that he couldn’t take care of a small living human being when he could barely take care of himself most days. It isn’t fair to Thomas.

“Oh, uh,” Picani says, and vaguely motions to a couch that was decorated in handmade quilts, “You can, uh, set him down.”

Virgil feels more than stupid as he shuffles towards the couch and juggles the armful of Thomas that he has in order to set him on the couch. Especially when Thomas doesn’t let go of him and instead tightens his arms around Virgil’s neck.

“Don’t!” Thomas gasps between his hiccups.

“Thomas—” Virgil says softly, “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right next to you.”

He shakes with his whole body, and for a long moment Virgil worries that Thomas will never let him go again and they’ll be stuck together like a parasite and it’s host.

“Promise?” Thomas’s voice cracks Virgil’s heart right in half. He can feel the shards of it puncturing his lungs.

“How about this, you can hold my hand while we sit, okay?” Virgil suggests even though his own skin feels feverish and his neck itches where Thomas’s wrists had pressed against him. He can’t remember the last time he let someone touch him (it might have been Remy himself for all he knew).

Thomas’s arms move away, slowly, slowly, and then he buries his head in a blanket before Virgil can even see the tear tracks on his bright red cheeks. Virgil sits down right next to him and its only a second more before pudgy little kid fingers squeeze around his.

Virgil glances up at Picani to find the man watching the two of them with a painful smile. He wipes his eye with the sleeve his dress jacket and resets his glasses with a deep breath.

“I’m really sorry you had to find out this way.” He says again. “Remy was going to contact you this weekend to ask your permission, but he insisted that he needed it written legally sooner than that.”

“Why?” Virgil asks and even he isn’t sure what he means. Why did Remy choose him? Why didn’t Remy tell him sooner? Why did Remy get it legal written down in his will before he asked? Why was Virgil so scared right now?

Picani sighs heavily. He taps two fingers on the packet. “I wish I knew, Mr. Quies.”

Virgil flinches at the use of his last name. He never uses it if he can help it; too many bad memories growing up as part of the Quies family. He never fit in with them, never quite lived up to be anything other than a disappointment for his parents, never enjoyed the way it rolled of so many people’s tongues in a derogatory manner. When he had moved out—and away—he had started using the surname Storm. Virgil Storm sounded better, and it didn’t come with emotional baggage.

Virgil makes a noise in the back of his throat, somewhere between clearing it and trying to say something but not knowing what. He glances at Thomas.

“Picani—”

“Emile, actually, if you please,” He says with a wince.

“Emile,” Virgil corrects himself, “I don’t—Remy and I—I can’t….” He twists his bangs out of his face just to do something with his hand. The man in the half lenses waits patiently for Virgil to articulate himself. “I’ve never taken care of a kid.”

Thomas squeezes his hand tightly. Virgil thinks he lost feeling in two fingers, but he doesn’t try move.

“I’m not the best fit for Thomas’s caretaker. I didn’t even know Remy. We talked one time when we were kids. Are you sure it was me on that will and not someone else?”

Emile leans back against his desk, still careful not to crush any of the drawings. “I’m honestly not sure I’m the right person to ask. Remy and I were good friends, but even then we didn’t talk about everything. When he announced that he was changing his will to remove me as Thomas’s next-in-line guardian I thought it was a joke--”

Virgil’s stomach drops out at the comment. He feels sick again, the rolling nausea sweeping over him like a wave. That sounded right—all of it sounded right. Virgil didn’t know why someone would joke about that, but Remy had to have been joking because Emile was a well put together man, who Thomas knew better than he knew Virgil.

“Thank goodness it wasn’t.” Emile continues, much like a wrecking ball to the train of thought in Virgil’s head. It leaves his ears ringing.

“What?”

This time Emile looks at him with those dark eyes, “I love Thomas. I really do. But I can’t be his caretaker. I’d lose him.”

“Lose him?” Virgil repeats, remembering every time his parents had forgotten him at the supermarket or in the mall and the weekends were he just didn’t go home and no one was suspicious of it.

“Yes, um,” He fixes his glasses, “Due to a few infractions of the law in my childhood, I can’t legally adopt a child. I can run a therapist office,” He waves a hand around the room, “but I can’t have one of my own. Especially not Thomas.”

Virgil isn’t entirely unsure of what to make of that comment. First off Emile Picani looks a lot like a single breeze might knock him down, and the way he had shriveled up at the sight of Madam Hydrus wasn’t helping his case. However, he was also admitting that he at some point broke several laws? Laws that prevented him from taking care of a kid?

But this was Thomas.

“Madam Hydrus,” Emile says lightly. He picks up a figurine of Ursula from his desk and considers it. “She is Thomas’s mother’s mother. Extremely high class. Had she found out her daughter and Remy had been a thing back from Thomas’s birth, she undoubtedly would have put a stop to it. Her daughter—Thomas’s mother and Remy’s girlfriend at the time—died in childbirth due to a complication. Remy took it hard. Madam Hydrus took it harder.”

Emile sets the figurine back down. “She has been trying to gain custody of Thomas since his birth, declaring Remy an unfit parent. Every other week she had lawyers harassing them. I’m not sure what Thomas’s mother told Remy about her, but Remy refused to let her see him, refused to leave his son’s side when the woman was anywhere near.

“I believe her intention was to keeping sending lawyers in an attempt to run Remy out of money. When he no longer could support a child the judge would have to rule in her favor. However, Remy was a business major who knew how to maintain and predict the stock market.” Emile pauses, “That’s how we met actually. I asked him to help me learn the stock market. I’m a terrible student. But Remy tried, so hard. He was a good person. He really was. When my landlord kicked me out, he immediately offered me a few spare rooms here as long as I paid rent.”

Virgil nods, the sick feeling in his stomach bubbling. Beside him Thomas shifts again, quiet, oh-so-quiet. The warmth of the room makes his dress shirt collar stick to his neck.

“When Thomas turned three, Remy asked me to take guardianship of Thomas should anything happen to him. He was paranoid that Madam Hydrus would get tired of sending lawyers and might escalate to sending not-so-polite people. He wanted to make sure that if he did pass unexpectedly there would be someone else lined up to take in Thomas that was not Madam Hydrus.”

Virgil tenses, “What?”

“He—”

“Are you saying Madam Hydrus paid someone to kill Remy?” Virgil says. Oh, and there’s the panic: his foot has slipped off the steady edge of the metaphorical cliff and Virgil is free falling to his death. His lungs feel two sizes too small for his chest, and all the oxygen in the world doesn’t seem to be able to fill them. He rips his hand from Thomas’s and claws at his collar, struggles with the tie that is acting as a noose around his neck.

Remy was dead—Remy was dead because Madam Hydrus had him killed. Madam Hydrus was the same woman that Virgil just told off and then announced he would be taking in Thomas. What was stopping her from having him killed? Virgil was going to end up dead. By this time next week Virgil would be decorated with white lilies and people would be standing in his living room talking about how sad it was that he was gone.

“Mr. Quies! Virgil!” Emile is suddenly by kneeling by his side, “Virgil I need you to breathe with me. Breathe—In, yes hold it! Out….”

Virgil’s had panic attacks before. They normally leave him curled in the corner of his apartment with his own nails clawing through his hair, and his chest aching from too short of breaths. It’s another reason why he’s not fit to be a parent, because how can he take care of a kid when he can suddenly shut down like this. What if there was an emergency and Virgil wasn’t able to protect Thomas?

“In….” Emile says again, and Virgil strains to force his lungs to follow the instruction. “hold….Out….”

It takes a few minutes to calm him back down. It feels like hours. Actually the whole day has felt like eternity, drawing on and on and on. Virgil is suddenly aware that Emile in kneeling in front of him, speaking soothing words that mean absolutely nothing to him.

Thomas…

Virgil glances to his left where the kid had been, fully expecting Thomas to have bolted the second Virgil started acting weird. But he didn’t. Thomas is sitting there beside him, watery eyes and a nose fully of snot that he wipes on his arm.

“Dad… does that too,” Thomas says, between the sniffles.

Oh good, Virgil shares exactly one thing with Remy and it’s his panic attacks.

“Thomas,” Emile says quietly, “Can you grab a cup of water?”

Virgil has half a mind to tell them he doesn’t need a cup of water (He needs to have a chat with Remy and ask him what the hell he was thinking), but Thomas is already up and dashing out of the room. Virgil sinks back into the couch.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Quies—”

“Virgil.” He rasps out because the name is causing him to flinch and he doesn’t have the energy to suppress it anymore. “Virgil, or Storm, or anything that isn’t that name.”

“Virgil,” Emile nods like it isn’t weird at all, “That was my fault. I wasn’t paying attention to my words. Madam Hydrus did not so anything…illegal. The police found no sign of foul play. Remy was driving on too little sleep and he slid off the road, into a tree.”

Which Virgil had read all about in the obituaries online during the flight here. Which he knew was the truth. Which didn’t stop the feeling in his gut from twisting over and over like some mutant alien parasite.

“Remy was paranoid,” Emile says with a sad frown, “But he made up his mind. He wanted someone he trusted who didn’t have a record that Madam Hydrus could exploit in court.”

“Am I…the only one?” Virgil asks.

Emile makes a face that tells him the answer. Of course, he is. That’s why they’re having this conversation. That’s why it’s Virgil’s name on the will and not anyone else’s.

“He left you most of his finances,” Emile says, “As long as you agree to take care of Thomas.”

“I am the least fit person to take care of any kid, Emile,” Virgil reiterates because all the money in the world won’t change that fact.

Thomas scoots back into the room, with a bathroom cup of water that he’s trying very hard no to spill. He gives it to Virgil, before climbing up on the couch next to him again. Before Virgil knows what he’s doing he runs his hand through Thomas’s hair, and the kid almost flops into him.

Emile watches the entire thing with a miniscule smile on his lips.

“I beg to differ, Virgil,” He says, “I think you are the most fit person.”

Virgil isn’t sure what it is about the other man, about the room, about Thomas, but sitting there, exhausted out of his mind, he thinks that Emile isn’t entire right (because after all Remy was the best person to take care of his kid), but Virgil might just be willing to try.

“I’ll get in contact with Remy’s lawyers.” Emile promises.

Virgil nods to show that he heard, but all he can really focus on is the softness of Thomas hair and the weight of the kid on his shoulder. He sinks back into the couch.

“You should get some sleep.”

Virgil is way ahead of him.

#white lily guardian au #remy sanders #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #Virgil adopts a kid #kid!thomas #emile picani #dragon witch #Please just overlook any factual inaccuracies #i'm tired

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skepticalcatfrog · 5 years

Text

Shattered Crown Chapter 9

First Chapter Previous Chapter Next Chapter Masterpost

Summary: After disaster strikes in Prince Roman's kingdom, he must go on a quest in order to take back the crown that is rightfully his. He will travel with three companions on an epic adventure, gaining many friends and enemies along the way. Those three companions are an intelligent inventor with a mysterious past, a cheerful wizard with a dark secret, and.. the assassin who was sent to kill him two years prior.

Pairings: Logicality, (Eventual) Prinxiety

Word count: 3295

Author's Notes: I don't really have a lot of author's notes for this one, except the usual stuff. In short, I think this chapter is good, but the next one is going to be even better.

"You know, this kind of reminds me of a kingdom I went to once." Patton told them as they walked down the hill towards the village.

"Yeah..." Roman nodded. "But I don't know if I've ever been here before."

"That's surprising, you've been literally everywhere." Virgil pushed him lightly. Roman laughed.

"Well, I wouldn't say everywhere… but yeah, pretty much everywhere." He nodded.

"I can't say the same. I've traveled more on this trip than I have in the entire rest of my life." Virgil told him.

"Wait, really?" Roman's eyes widened. "You should've said that earlier! We could've done so much more fun stuff!"

"It's no big deal." Virgil shrugged. "Our actual goal is way more important than whatever various detours we would've taken otherwise."

"Not true! I'm going to find something fun for us to do before we leave, and you can't stop me!" Roman grabbed Virgil's hand, dragging him towards the village. Virgil shook his head, but was still smiling. The moment they were out of earshot, Patton and Logan started talking.

"They both better confess to each other by the end of this trip, or they're not going to get the chance." Patton sighed.

"It's truly quite unfortunate." Logan agreed. "Because if all goes as planned, Roman will take the throne of his kingdom and become king. In order to create and/or maintain alliances, it is customary for a royal to marry someone of a status equal to that of themselves. Which means that after he returns to his kingdom, he will likely be married to a near complete stranger, and Virgil will never have a chance with him ever again."

"Exactly." Patton nodded. "I really hope that doesn't happen… they love each other so much. If only they'd just admit it."

~~~

At this point, Roman and Virgil had gotten into the village, and the prince had roped his companion into helping the townspeople decorate for whatever event was happening. Virgil had to admit, it was kind of fun.

Surprisingly, no one was really giving Roman any attention. That is, they weren't giving him any more attention than they were giving anyone else. It was kind of strange, but also a huge relief. Because if they were just treating him like a normal person, that meant he wasn't a wanted criminal in this kingdom.

"Can you help me with this?" Virgil asked, beckoning Roman over to him. He had a banner in his hand that he couldn't hang up by himself.

"Yeah, just a second." Roman replied, finishing hanging up a string of lights. Once he was done, he went over to Virgil and took one end of the banner, spreading it out and hanging it up once it was entirely unfurled.

Apparently, there was a festival going on that would be happening through the next couple of days. But they wouldn't be able to stay for the whole thing, because if everything went smoothly, then after they had the kingdom's relic they'd be leaving.

"So, what do you think Logan and Patton are doing?" Virgil asked, moving on to another task.

"I don't know, probably enjoying some time alone without having to deal with us." Roman shrugged. This wasn't actually true, because Logan and Patton had to deal with them constantly. All the time. Even when they weren't there.

"You're probably right." Virgil agreed. "They've barely gotten any time alone since they first got together, we're probably just a burden at this point."

"It makes me feel kind of lonely, you know?" Roman sighed, stopping what he was doing and looking over at Virgil. "Being around a couple all the time. Because they love each other, and we're just kind of there. I've never really been in love. Like, I've seen love, I've heard about it, but I don't know how it feels."

He was lying. He absolutely knew what love was like, and he was looking at it with his very own eyes.

Virgil, being who he was, noticed Roman staring at him.

"What are you looking at?" He also stopped working, crossing his arms and turning towards Roman.

"Nothing, I was just talking to you and trying to make eye contact." The prince shrugged.

"Okay then, talk to me. You've got your eye contact, now what were you saying?" Virgil met Roman's eyes. He almost felt like he had to look away, because there was something in his gaze that felt so intense and so real, and Virgil just didn't know what to do with all that.

"I… was just talking about… love." After Roman finished the sentence, he looked away again. "Nevermind, it was kind of stupid."

"No, it wasn't." Virgil shook his head. "I was listening, and it wasn't stupid. Honestly, I kind of agree with you. Being around a couple all the time can make you feel lonely. Like you said, we're the third and fourth wheels. And for me, it's going to stay that way."

"And why is that?" Roman looked him in the eyes again.

"Because no one wants to date an assassin." Virgil shrugged. "Especially not one who can't do their job."

"I'm sure that's not true! You're a great guy, Virgil." Roman placed a reassuring hand on Virgil's shoulder and turned towards him fully, stepping a little closer. "And if you maybe just looked a little bit, I'm sure you'd find that there are more people interested in you than you think."

"Oh really? Like who?" Virgil spoke as if this was a challenge, narrowing his eyes.

Roman's first thought was to say 'Like me', but he knew he couldn't. This wasn't the right time, he didn't know if there would ever be a right time.

"I don't know. But you'll meet the right person eventually, I'm sure of it." Roman smiled and winked.

Roman was a flirt. Virgil knew this, he'd gotten a reputation for it. But that didn't stop that wink from driving him crazy. What did it mean? Did it even mean anything? Was Roman just meaninglessly flirting with him without the idea of starting something? Did he actually like him? The world may never know.

Virgil didn't know what to say, and was panicking a little, but luckily he saw their two friends approaching them.

"Oh, look, Logan and Patton!" Virgil pointed to the other two, breaking away from Roman.

"I think we came at the wrong time, they seemed to be getting out of their strange state of obliviousness." Logan whispered to Patton.

"It's fine, we're already here anyway." Patton replied, taking Logan's hand and using his free one to wave to Roman and Virgil. "Hey guys! Are you ready to go?"

"Go? Go where?" Roman furrowed his brow in confusion.

"To the castle, idiot." Virgil nudged him lightly, clearly kidding.

"Oh, right." He laughed. "Yeah, that's a thing we need to do before we leave."

"Yes, it is. Come on, we have no time to lose." Logan turned away and began walking towards the castle, Patton alongside him.

"Okay then, he's not wasting any time." Roman muttered, following the other two with Virgil close behind.

As they traveled towards the castle, Virgil noticed a couple of things. He already knew that there was a festival going on for the next few days. And that there were supposed to be different activities or events each day. But, one thing he noticed was that there was a small crowd of people around what looked like some sort of clothing shop. Something else was that there were many couples and groups of friends, walking around and talking about the event of that night. Some people mentioned that they couldn't dance, or weren't very good at it. He still couldn't quite piece together what was going on, but he at least had a bit of a better idea.

The castle was the tallest one Roman had ever seen. He thought his castle was impressive, but this one shone like the sun in comparison. The towers seemed to reach up into the clouds, and they could barely see the top of the tallest one. There were steps leaving up to the door, which was very tall on its own. When they approached the door, the guards who were standing there held their swords across it.

"Stop! State your business." One of them said. Roman furrowed his brow in confusion, tilting his head slightly.

"I don't think they know who you are, Ro." Virgil whispered to him. "Maybe that's why no one was paying attention to you in the village."

"Oh…" Roman raised his voice slightly. "I am Prince Roman Alexander Noble, son of King Perseus. My kingdom has been overtaken, and I need help getting it back. These are my friends, Virgil, Patton, and Logan. They are helping me with my mission."

"Is he lying?" The first guard turned to the other one, who wordlessly shook their head. The group glanced at each other nervously. It seemed that the second guard was some sort of human lie detector, which meant that they couldn't lie, even a little. The first guard turned back to them. "Alright then, and what are you here for?"

"We are here to get Verum, the enchanted object that is rumored to be inside the castle." Roman answered. The guard, slightly more surprised this time, turned to their companion. They shook their head again.

"Do you have any other goals while you are here?" The guard asked.

"No." Roman realized his mistake as soon as he made it. He wanted to tell Virgil how he felt while he was there. Which meant he did have another goal, and had just lied to the guards.

Sure enough, when the first guard looked to the second one, asking if Roman had lied, they nodded for the first time. The first guard quickly pointed their sword towards Roman. He put his hands up, closing his eyes.

"Wait wait wait!" He said, talking fast, but still maintaining a calm and collected tone. He slowly opened his eyes. "Don't hurt me, I can answer again. I have no goals that will be harmful to this kingdom."

"Is he lying this time?" The guard asked cautiously, looking towards their companion. The second guard hesitated for a moment before shaking their head. The first guard lowered his sword. "Okay… you may enter."

The two guards opened the door, which creaked quietly as it swung open. The inside of the castle was even more impressive than the outside. The first part they saw wasn't too impressive, it was just a hallway. But that hallway lead to a huge, lovely, grand ballroom. It was painted almost entirely gold, with some spots of white as accents. The room itself was shaped like a cylinder, and it had a very high ceiling that curved into a dome near the top. A big chandelier hung from the center of the ceiling, made of gold and what looked like diamond. The light from the chandelier bouncing off of the crystals made little flecks of light shine around the room. There were also smaller lamps around the walls closer to the floor, so the room would have more light. The floor was smooth and white, and its shine made it look like it would be slippery, but it wasn't. There were many doors along the walls, all of which looked like miniature versions of the front door.

Roman stepped into the ballroom, looking around the room with wide eyes.

"This place is beautiful!" He turned back to the others, smiling widely. Virgil noticed that the lights in the room reflected off of his eyes, and couldn't help thinking about how great he looked in that lighting. "How have I never been here before?"

"It is quite nice in here." Logan agreed, stepping into the room and taking all of it in slowly.

"I really hope we'll get to come back sometime…" Patton sighed happily, looking around the room with stars in his eyes.

"Yeah, that would be fun." Virgil smiled faintly. "Maybe we could come back for the festival next year."

"Why not just this year?" Roman asked. "I mean, we are trying to do some fun stuff before we may or may not die fighting Ethan. And besides, we don't have to stay the whole time. Maybe just a day or two."

"I don't think that's a good idea." Logan shook his head. "We should leave as soon as possible."

"Yeah, I guess you're right…" Roman sighed. "But can we at least call it a maybe?"

Logan rolled his eyes. "Fine. But if we do stay, and you end up regretting it, it isn't my fault."

They were interrupted by a tall man walking over to them. And he was very tall. Like a tree. He even made Roman, who was the tallest of the group, feel short. He was dressed well, in a light brown suit that was almost white, but not quite. It had gold details around the ankles of the pants, and the wrists of the jacket. His eyes were a very light blue, and his hair was light gray, getting to be white in some places. But he didn't look like an old man, just an adult. A golden crown decorated with diamonds was perched on his head. To finish off his look, he had a pair of round glasses with thin golden frames balanced on his nose.

"What are you four doing here so early?" He asked with a kind smile. "The festival doesn't begin for another couple of hours."

"Oh, um… we're actually here for something else." Virgil said quietly.

"And what would that be?" The man, who was clearly the king, looked towards Virgil.

"Well… we, uh… we're here for…" Virgil trailed off.

"We're here for Verum." Roman told him.

"Ah, yes… Wait a moment, I recognize you from somewhere." The king turned his attention towards Roman, examining his face.

"I'm King Perseus's son." Roman told him, hoping he knew his father.

"Oh, of course! I can see the resemblance." The king gave him a warm smile. "And your mother… is she Queen Aria?"

"Yeah, she… she is." Roman nodded sadly.

"I had a feeling. You look a lot like her." The king told him. "I knew your parents well, a long time ago… they attended many festivals in this kingdom. I heard that they had a son, but I never got to meet him… until now, of course. And under quite unfortunate circumstances, sadly. I am truly sorry for all of your losses. But still, it is very nice to meet you..." The king trailed off, looking for a name. He held out his hand.

"Roman. Roman Alexander." Roman smiled, accepting the hand shake.

"Ah, yes. Nice to meet you, Roman." Suddenly, the king remembered what they were here for. "Oh, I nearly forgot! You four are here for the glasses, correct?"

"Yes, we are." Logan nodded.

Roman snapped his fingers. "Right, I have to introduce you to my friends! This is Virgil, Patton, and Logan." He told the king, gesturing to each of his friends as he named them.

"Nice to meet you, sir!" Patton waved to him.

"Yeah, you're definitely a lot more welcoming than we're used to." Virgil offered a small smile.

The king nodded. "Thank you, I try my best."

"Alright then, shall we get going?" Logan suggested.

"Yes, let's." The king started walking away, and the group followed him.

He lead them through one of the doors and through a dark hallway. At the end of the hallway was a dead end, which was very confusing to the four of them. Then the king reached up to the ceiling and pressed a hidden button, which had previously just looked like a part of the ceiling. Once the button was pressed, the wall slid over to reveal a spiral staircase that went up farther than they could see. After a long walk up all of the stairs, they came to a large open room, that was lit with mostly natural light from many windows. The room itself was very simple, with not much in it other than a glass case on a stand that stood in the very center of the room.

Inside of the glass case, there was a pair of glasses. They looked very similar to the ones that the king was wearing, except the frames were silver instead of gold, and the lenses had a slight blue shine to them. Logan immediately approached the case, examining the glasses carefully. The other three soon followed, surrounding the case.

The king walked up next to them, and put his hand on the glass. It began to glow a soft yellow, a nice change of pace from the usual harsh neon they were used to seeing. After a moment, the glass dissolved, leaving the relic inside exposed.

"Give them to him." Roman pointed to Logan. "He deserves them."

Logan glanced to the king for approval, and when he nodded, the inventor reached out and took the glasses. He just took a moment to look at them before removing his old glasses and replacing them with the new ones. He looked around at the group.

"You all look the same." He told them. Then Virgil became slightly transparent, and glowed purple. "Except for Virgil, he has turned purple…"

Logan then removed the glasses, and even though the world became blurry, he could tell that Virgil was invisible. He then put the glasses back on.

"So they do work." He decided.

"Yes, of course they do. There is a second pair, I wear them myself." The king tapped the side of the glasses he had on. "I use them to deal with intruders, some people think they're clever using invisibility spells and potions."

"Yes, well, we're dealing with a shapeshifter. These are also effective against them, correct?" Logan asked.

"From my experience, yes. They can reveal shapeshifters." The king nodded. "On a semi-related note, you can stay in the castle if you'd like. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to leave right away, you'll want some time to rest. And besides, we have our annual festival going on for today as well as the next few days! You can stay for that."

"Yes! Yeah, let's stay!" Roman turned around to face Logan. "He makes a good point, we'll want some time to rest!"

"And it would be so fun!" Patton agreed, taking Logan's hand.

"I guess I wouldn't be opposed to staying." Virgil shrugged.

"Alright then… fine, I guess we'll stay." Logan nodded. "But that doesn't mean we'll be going to the festival. He said we'd need some time to rest."

"Okay then, since you've decided to stay, you all can go find a room. All you have to do to get to them is go back out of the passage we just went through, and the entrance to the hallway of rooms is two doors to the left." The king explained.

"Hang on, just one question, what's tonight's event?" Patton asked.

"Tonight's is a ball to kick off the festival! Everyone's been preparing all day, getting their best clothes ready. I've just been taking my time cleaning up the ballroom." The king answered.

"Wow, that sounds really fun! We'll see if we can make it, but if not, we'll just see you tomorrow." Roman smiled and waved to him as they left. They followed the directions the king had given them, and soon had gotten themselves set up in a room.

"So… what do we do until we're ready to go?" Virgil asked, sitting on one of the beds.

"Well, I thought that was obvious." Roman smirked, raising his eyebrow. "We're going to go to the ball."

Taglist: @musikasworld @icequeenoriginal @sparkle-overlord @romanknite @idkwhyimhere0o0 @mellow-yellow-nutella @bubblycricket @ilovemygaydad @chelsvans

#sanders sides #roman sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #deceit sanders #ts virgil #ts roman #ts deceit #ts patton #ts logan #logicality #prinxiety #fantasy #fanfic #shattered crown au #unsympathetic deceit

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amethystdarkwolf · 5 years

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Split [Part One]

AU: X Ship: X Prompt: X Requested by: X Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit, Sympathetic Remus, Panic/anxiety attacks, angst with a happy ending and yelling. If I missed any Let Me Know! Summary: Patton gets frustrated with Virgil, as Virgil tries to actually show Thomas again that he is Anxiety that he can be a bad thing. Patton ends up snapping and causes Virgil to split in two, much like Roman and Remus. F/A/H-C:Angst POV: 3rd ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Side Note: This is a two part fic written by both me and @chimchar1009 We hope you enjoy!! Also I stopped doing my taglist, it’s too much work, use my Writing tag ‘Amethystdarkwrites’

[Part Two] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Thomas, you can’t go. You really don’t know what would happen! You know only one person if you would be going! And to a place like that you need to go with a group, there are so many things that could-” Virgil was cut off, Patton interrupting him.

“Virgil it’ll be okay! We know what we’re doing and how to be careful, and plus we promised! It’s their birthday after all!” Patton tried to explain, they were safe, everything would be okay. But Virgil was having none of it. He went off listing danger after danger, while Patton tried to reassure him that those wouldn’t happen. Both completely ignoring Roman, Logan and Thomas, every suggestion they gave was immediately ignored as if they weren’t even there.

Until Patton snapped.

“Virgil! That’s Enough!!!” He shouted, almost loud enough to echo across the apartment’s walls. He balled his hands into tight fists, shutting his eyes closed as he put his arms down forcefully to his sides, separated.

He heard the sound of screaming for a moment, painful, blood-curdling screaming. But it stopped as soon as it started, rendering the room completely silent.

When his eyes opened, he was made just as speechless. In Virgil’s spot, stood two versions of him. One that was leaning against the wall, clearly exhausted, having a white hoodie on with small blue patches residing on it. While the other was leaning against the banister, in a way that resembled him as scared of the other as he clung to it like a lifetime, having a dark gray hoodie with faded red stripes. Similar looking to Virgil’s old hoodie. They both had logos as well. The first had a light grey cloud with cobalt blue stitching around it. While the other had a black lighting bolt with crimson red stitching around it.

There was only silence for a few seconds as Patton and the others stared at the two new sides in front of them. “Virgil?” Patton asked breaking the dead silence. Both of the two new sides looked up at Patton in response.

“Dad? What did you do to me?” The white and blue clothed side asked. “Us.” The second new side corrected, his voice in Tempest Tongue. “What did you do to us? To Virgil?!” The red and dark grey side growled at Patton.

Patton was speechless he had no idea what he had done to his dark strange son. He glanced quickly at the others. Thomas looked like he was about to start to panic, Logan was just frozen and Roman… Roman, he had a look of horror on his face. A look of horror that showed he knew exactly what Patton did.

“Patton… You- you split Virgil into two just like you did with me and Remus…” Roman paused for a second to compose himself, now wasn’t the time for him to start crying. “We may never see our stormcloud again…”

“But there has to be a way to get him back! Virgil can’t just be gone forever!” Thomas replied.

“The only example we have to go off of is Roman and Remus and they never re-fused. So, unfortunately, it’s a safe assumption to say that it’s not possible for these two halves of Virgil to refuse.” Logan answered visibly troubled by this answer.

Patton can only stare in horror at Logan with what he said. Did he really get rid of Virgil for good?

“Patton… this is… what you’ve done to Virgil… it's so bad I don’t even have a word to describe it.” Roman refuses to look at Patton while saying this.

“That was messed up even for me.” Remus said after he appeared next to Roman.

Tears began to well up in his eyes. He really messed up and he had no way to fix what he did. “Are you happy now?” Deceit asked as he appeared to Patton. He started crying no he didn’t want this. He would never want this. He just wanted Virgil back, he wanted his best friend back.

“Deceit?” The black and red Virgil whispered. Deceit looks up at him. “Yeah, V?”

“Are we gonna be like this forever?”

“I honestly don’t know.” He glared at Patton as he said that.

“Well… If they’re gonna be here possibly forever do they have names? We can’t really call them Virgil or Anxiety.” Thomas interrupts.

“We don’t have a name beside Virgil…” The side against the wall replied.

“Well, we can give you names!” Roman said and points to the white and blue side. “Your name can be Vito.”

“Vito… Ok, I’m fine with it.”

“Ok and you!” Roman says pointing to the other side. “Your name can be Viho.”

“Ok yeah, I’m not letting my name be picked by you princey. That names fudging stupid.” He growls at Roman.”

“Ok wow, no need to be so mean we’re friends.”

“Who said we are friends?!” He shouts at Roman.

The room falls into a shocked silence. Tears well up in Roman’s eyes but he quickly wipes them away like nothing happened.

“How bout Volt?” Remus says changing the topic.

“I like that, Remus. My names Volt.” Volt says with a smirk. Roman just stares at Volt shocked and hurt. Volt only glanced over to Patton, who was still in tears, but instead of having any kind of remorse in his expression, there was a glare.

Patton tried to speak, tried to apologize, but his sobs muffled his words. “Virgil- I-I mean, Vito, Volt. I didn’t want this… I didn’t mean for this to happen! I-” He was cut off as Volt interrupted him, “Well obviously you did! Because we’re here! The good and the bad! Just like Roman and Remus” He huffed, “What are you going to do, huh?”

Logan sighed, “Volt-”

“Split Logan next time he disagrees with you??”

“Volt! Enough.” Logan snapped, causing silence to fall across the room. “I understand your frustrations-”

“No you don’t, you robot.”

Logan took a deep breath to not let that get to him, “You are upset, but we all are to some degree, you have to try to focus so that we can properly fix the issue. We are unsure if you can be fused again, but we will try to do what we can if you cooperate with us.”

Volt leaned against the banister once again, “I don’t see the point.” he muttered harshly. “I mean, again if Patton had wanted Virgil here, he’d still be here. He banished Virgil to the dark side so what’s to say he wouldn’t do it again with me or if we did get back together.”

Vito glances at Volt, “Patton won’t do that, I won’t let him.”

“You can’t stop him he always gets what he wants!”

Thomas covers his face with his hands, his breathing slightly beginning to pick up, “So he’s never coming back?” He asked, his voice having the slightest quiver to it. “But he’s my anxiety!” His hands shook as he ran them through his hair, “And-and Patton- you’re my morality! Why would you want to do that?!” He could barely keep up with all that was happening, quickly becoming overwhelmed and spiraling into a panic attack.

Vito looks at Thomas concerned, “Thomas, remember to breathe.” He turns to Volt. “Volt stop! Your making Thomas have a panic attack!”

“Why should I? You’ll listen to me better this way and Thomas will forgive me anyways.”

“Volt! Please!” Vito begged as he went over to his half, “This isn’t the way to handle this!”

“Why? Because he’s feeling bad? Guess what he feels bad almost all the time thanks to how strict Patton is! And ya know what? In some cases he deserves it!”

“He didn’t know that this would happen? Volt, please Virgil wouldn’t want this!”

“Maybe your part of him wouldn’t but mine does! How are you not hurt by what he did?! How are you not feeling betrayed?!”

Vito is silent for a second before looking at his other half in the eyes. “I am hurt and I do feel betrayed but revenge isn’t the answer.”

“I’m not after revenge! I just don’t want to be hurt anymore! I don’t want him to be hurt anymore!”

“We aren’t going to be hurt-”

“How do you know that??”

Finally, Logan snapped, “Volt, this is not the way to handle this situation… Thomas himself had nothing to do with this, causing him to have a panic attack will only delay our time to get this back in order. You are now only harming Thomas. None of us... Take a deep breath and we can figure this out.”

Volt went quiet for a moment, but then just crossed his arms as he leaned against the banister, refusing to look at anyone directly as he muttered out, “Fine.”

Vito took a deep breath and walked a bit closer to Thomas, “Thomas, remember what you’ve learned, breath in for four seconds,” he tried to keep his voice a lot softer and calmer than it had been, especially in comparison to his other half.

He slowly guided Thomas through a few breathing exercises, glancing to Patton every once in a while as he did so to make sure he was following along to. The other sides were finally able to find their calm as well, even if Roman, Remus, and Deceit were furious with Patton over what had happened. They were able to calm down at least.

Volt glanced back from the floor, and over to Thomas and Patton, both sobbing messes at this point. That’s when the realization hit him. He looked between the other sides, making sure the attention wasn’t on him and grinned a wicked borderline malicious grin before sinking out to Virgil’s room.

#amethystdarkwrites #sanders sides #roman sanders #remus sanders #deceit sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders

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blazetwin88 · 5 years

Text

What I hide (sanders sides fanfic) Chapter one

Okay, this is the first fanfic I’m posting on Tumblr so I apologize if there some problems with things like links and stuff then bear with me I am new to this.

And also this is just a one chapter fic right now, I haven’t decided whether if I should continue this or not. I have also been starting to think of an AU that I could write about, because I know I could possibly think of a good one if I just sit down and start working on it.

And thanks to @stormcrawler75 for encouraging me to post this, if you haven’t checked them out yet then you really should they do amazing work.

Aaaand I’m rambling, *sigh* I tend to do that a lot. Anyway, on with the fanfic.

"Now I'm gonna go be cool, somewhere else." Virgil sunk out and was soon back in his room.

Groaning in frustration, he started walking back and forth while holding his head, trying to calm down.

Suddenly, he felt a presence in his room, he didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

"What do you want!?" Virgil hissed.

"Do you have no idea what you did!?" Deceit spat, poison hanging in his tone.

Virgil turned to the snake-like side, "I did nothing more than talking back at you. It was not me who made Roman decide on skipping the callback. He did that on his own."

"Maybe he didn’t. But if you hadn't been so cooperative then maybe I could have gotten through with my lesson."

Virgil chuckled, "What made you think I was on your side. I knew you were an idiot, but I at least expected you to understand just how much I hate you. But I guess I was wrong."

Deceit glared at the anxious side, "Do test me, Virgil. You don't know what I'm capable of."

"And you know what I am capable of. So you shouldn't test me either."

Deceit faked a sad look, "When did you grow such an attitude, Virge? What have I never done to make you hate me so much?"

Virgil started laughing, "What you have done?" He stopped laughing and glared daggers at Deceit, "You know exactly what you did! You lied to me, used me, and betrayed me!"

The snake-like side pretended to be offended, "Virgil! I know I didn't do that. But I don't want to say sorry."

"Well sorry doesn't cut it! Nothing you say will ever be enough for me to forgive you!" Virgil's eyes had started to glow purple and his voice had grown darker. When he realized this, he closed his eyes and took some deep breaths in order to calm down.

Deceit gave him a curious look, "So you haven't found a way to calm yourself."

Virgil opened his, now normal, eyes and glared at the snake-like side, "So what if I have. Why would you care!? It's not like you are calm either. Judging by how you acted just a few minutes ago I'd say your temper has grown worse. Is Anger rubbing off on you?" he laughed.

Deceit frowned, "Yes, I just can understand how you stand hanging around those light sides, they are so smart."

"Hey! Don't say that about them. If there's anyone who's stupid then it's you."

Deceit faked a gasp, "Virgil! How can you not say that to your friend!"

The anxious side clenched his fists as his eyes started glowing purple again, "You are not my friend! You never truly were my friend!"

The snake-like side smirked to himself, his plan was working.

Suddenly there was a knock on Virgil's door followed by Patton's sweet voice, "Virge, is everything okay? I heard shouting."

Virgil calmed down as soon as he heard Patton's voice and turned his head to the door, "N-No, everything is fine, Patton. I just......" he paused and glanced in Deceit's way before turning back to the door, "I just need some time to collect myself, I'll see you downstairs in a moment."

"Okay.....Sure, see you soon then Virge." Patton sounded unsure at first, but he then went back to his usual happy tone.

His footsteps started echoing in the hallway outside the door and got faded after a while until they disappeared.

Virgil turned back to Deceit, "Get out."

The snake-like side smirked, "I won't see you soon Virge." He then sunk out, leaving the anxious side all alone in his room.

With a very deep breath, Virgil calmed down even more and his eyes returned to normal. He knew he has to get better at controlling his temper around Deceit, he can't just accidentally give Thomas a panic attack as soon as the lying side shows his face. He almost lost his temper in today's video and he really doesn't want Thomas to have a panic attack, especially on a video.

The anxious side walked to the door and locked it before sinking out to the living room where Patton, Logan, and Roman was all present doing their own thing.

Logan was sitting in the armchair reading a book, Roman was lost in thought on the left side of the sofa, and Patton was choosing a movie for today's movie night.

The moral side looked up when he heard Virgil entering the room. His smile grew wider at the sight of the anxious side, "Virge!" He exclaimed and quickly stood up, clearly holding back the urge to hug the younger side.

Virgil couldn't help but smile at the moral side.

Logan looked up from his book, "Is everything alright with you, Virgil? Patton said he heard you shouting in your room."

The anxious side forced a smile, "Yepp, everything’s just fine. I'm just a bit frustrated after today's events."

The logical side frowned, "You mean with Deceit?"

Virgil clicked with his mouth and finger-gunned at Logan, "That's the thing."

Patton snickered at Virgil while Logan just rolled his eyes. "I take that as a yes. But why does he bother you so much anyway? I mean, Patton, Roman, I all dislike him but you seem to truly hate him. Why is that?"

By now Roman had become present in the conversation instead of in his own world. He looked up towards the younger side, "Yeah, I've been wondering about that too."

Virgil felt how all three pair of eyes were locked onto him. He felt how his anxiety grew and made him just want to escape the room. Even though he was Thomas' anxiety, he had the symptoms of it too and it was not something he always enjoyed, now was a good example of the times he didn't enjoy it.

"I.....I-I don't know what you're talking about..." He laughed nervously.

"Don't pretend like you don't know. We all saw how you were acting towards him today, you clearly hate him. Actually, now that I think about it, every time the dark sides are mentioned at all you get really uneasy." Roman argued making Virgil lower his head, feeling a bit closed in.

It didn't go long before he couldn't take the pressure of their gazes anymore, "So maybe I do hate him! It really doesn't matter! Why I hate him is not important!"

The other three sides' eyes widened and they all became shocked by Virgil's sudden outburst, he almost never shouted at them, at least not since they accepted him, before that he often did it without thinking, but he had not done that as much after he dunked out and they convinced him to stay.

Virgil sighed, "Sorry. I just don't wanna talk about it."

Patton smiled sadly at him, "Well, if that's the case then why didn't you just say so, we respect that and we're sorry for pushing you." The other two nodded in agreement.

The darker side smiled, "Thanks, guys. I'm glad you understand."

Patton's smile grew brighter showing that he was happy with the response, "So anyway, what movie are we going to watch tonight?"

Roman's face it up, "A Disney movie!"

Virgil smiled, Patton giggled, and Logan rolled his eyes. Typical Roman.

They all prepared for movie night. Patton made popcorn, Roman got multiple blankets and pillows, Logan put on the movie they had chosen, and Virgil fixed the drinks.

He was in the kitchen with Patton pouring up drinks to everybody when the moral side suddenly spoke up with a concerned tone in his voice.

"Earlier, when you were in your room, were you talking to anybody then?"

Virgil stopped with what he was doing and slowly turned his head towards Patton.

"N-No. I was alone..."

Patton gave him a concerned look, "I know you're lying. You were talking to Deceit, weren't you?"

The anxious side turned his head away from the moral side and looked at the floor, "Yes. He came into my room and I tried to make him leave but he just wouldn't, and it made me mad. That's why I was shouting." He mumbled, but Patton still heard him.

Virgil suddenly felt a pair of arms wrapping around him and Patton resting his head on the anxious side’s back, "I am not mad at you Virge. I'm just a little sad that you lied to me."

The younger side sighed, "I know, it was wrong, I just didn't want you to worry about me."

"But I am your friend, Virge, it's kinda my job to worry about you."

"Yeah, I know...I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Patton let go of Virgil and the darker side turned to the moral one and shot him a smile.

"And I have to correct you, Pat. You are not my friend." Patton's smile faded but was back as soon as Virgil hugged him, "You are my best friend."

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accidentally-logince · 6 years

Text

Guardian Angel - Prologue

Summary: Virgil, sick of always dying and being resurrected again, decides to finally work out a way to end it for good. The only problem- he left Patton alone and depressed. Virgil makes it his goal to keep Patton alive until the time comes for him to join Virgil in the land of the dead. High School AU (kind of)

There will be a summary of the Prologue at the start of the first chapter. This happens to be one of the worst parts of the story in terms of subject matter, the rest of the story is much more tame. If you still want to read the story, there will be summaries of the more graphic chapters so that you aren’t required to read them. (I’d say there are maybe 3 or 4 graphic chapters in the whole story, out of at least 20 parts)

Warnings: Suicide mention, blood, food mention, Deceit (the character), mentions of cheating, self-harm mentions, death mention, swearing, minor mention of eating disorder

Word Count: 2.5k (Totally short enough to be a Prologue, guys)

Pairings: Royality, future Moxiety

(This story does have some of the Sanders Shorts characters in it. There are recognizable ones like Remy/Sleep, but there are also more obscure ones. You don’t need to know the characters to understand the story)

---

I learned something today.

An immortal can die without being killed by another immortal.

It wasn't easy. But it's possible. And I plan on testing it out tonight. I already made the deal, and this is the perfect night to do it, because no one else will be around to watch.

The city is usually quiet in the night. I don't expect to see cars all over the place. Maybe every hour or so there'll be some out-of-towners that are driving through, but pretty much everyone who lives here is either at the school watching the football game or sitting on their asses staring at their TVs. Which means that I'm stuck wandering around for awhile.

Around ten, headlights in the distance pierce through the darkness. A grin tugs at my mouth, and I slowly pull my hands out of my sweater pockets as the bus gets closer. While it technically won't matter in the end, some part of me says that I have to time this perfectly.

I don't remember exactly when I start running, only that one second I was on the sidewalk, and the next I was in the line of fire of the bus. I lift my arm, the cuts under my jacket protesting at the movement, while the bus driver freaks out in his seat. My hand opens quickly, and a pulse shoots out around me. The bus stops, the driver mid-scream, and my breathing is heavy. It worked.

I look up. The clouds are still. None of the stars twinkle. The full moon is clear. I'm the only thing that moves. I can't help giving a little laugh of relief. If this part worked, then, with luck, I'll be dead by the end of the night.

For a few seconds, I just grin up at the bus, breathing heavily as I put my hands back into my pockets. Then I turn around and walk down the street, leaving the frozen bus behind me.

---

The school is barely lit up, since the game is outside on the field. When I push the door open, only the front lobby has its lights on, and there are tables with food on them. And, of course, who do I see there but Demitri, frozen in time just like the bus, leaning against the table with a plastic cup in one hand.

Over the last few years, Dee has become infamous around town. I've seen evidence of him putting up graffiti all around the city, but he's tagged just about every surface in the school at least once. It's not uncommon to come into school and see his name plastered on your locker.

He's been suspended no less than twenty times, and it's a mystery why he hasn't been expelled yet. The rumour being spread is that his family is paying the school, and I wouldn't doubt it— Dee is the richest kid in school, and he's a total spoiled brat. I still wonder why we hang out with him.

I start to make my way out to the field, but before I reach the door, I turn back around and nail Demitri's frozen form right in the nuts.

"I hope you break the table when you fall over, asshole." Without any sound around, my voice is clear. I hope he hears it in his head when everything unfreezes. I hope someone comes in and finds him with chocolate spilled all over his stupid coat, and all the damn food on the floor.

Outside, the stands are packed. I always wondered why everyone cared so much about the school sports teams. Honestly, none of us were really good. Maybe Roman, if anyone

Speaking of Roman...

I scan the crowd, looking for the letterman jacket—in all the years we'd been friends, I don't think any of us ever changed our wardrobes. I find Remy Delacore, glaring up at someone behind him. I follow his gaze to find Roman in the fourth row, with his arm around Patton, leaning back in his seat.

Was it really any surprise that Roman and Patton had gotten together? They'd been "best friends" forever. They were inseparable, especially now. They literally never left each other's side. Every night, they would either be at Roman's house or Patton's, laying asleep on the couch with the TV on in front of them.

Roman had cheated on Remy with Patton for three months before he found out. Remy was quick to break up with him after that, and if you'd been anywhere near Roman for the next few weeks, all you would hear about was how much of a relief it was for Rem to finally be out of the picture. It got really annoying really quick. I'm glad it stopped after a month.

But it isn't Roman I'm worried about. It's Patton.

Sometimes, I wonder if his relationship with Roman is just a way to keep him feeling important. Patton is... he's not really a happy kid, to put it lightly. I always felt like I connected with him the most because of that. He never talks about it with anyone else but me. Demitri for obvious reasons, but he doesn't want Roman to worry about him, either.

He's showed me the cuts on his arms and legs, and—for a little while— his ribs that you could see through his skin if he pulled up his shirt. I'd eventually been able to talk with him enough that he eats regularly, but it still seems that almost every day he'll bump into something and wince, rubbing at his arms. I feel bad for him, hypocritical as that may be. Twice now, I've stolen bottles of pills from his room so he couldn't use them.

"Virgil. Come on. You know it won't stop if I keep going."

"No. Think of Roman. What would this do to Roman? And me. I'd miss you too, Pat. We'll both wish we'd done more."

"Roman... He'll eventually realize that things are better without me. And you already know I can't stop."

"I don't care. I'll help you get better even if it takes a lifetime. You're more important than a lot of people, Patton. Don't you forget that."

I don't think he ever realized that I was talking about myself.

The bright lights on the field blind me when I look away from the bleachers, and I turn back to the school.

I pass Dee in the lobby again, and I sit down on the steps with my chin in my hands. I flip him off, my arms once again crying out in pain. I roll up my sleeve. X's and lines litter my skin. They only really sting when I move my arm a lot. It feels... unfitting for tonight. I push myself up, rolling down my sleeve, and make my way down the dark hallway, running my hand against the wall.

The door to the home ec room isn't locked, and I flick the lights on to find the kitchens still a mess. No one cared enough to clean up after class, I guess. I walk into one of the tiny kitchens, opening the knife drawer and pulling out the biggest blade I can find.

---

I leave the home ec room with freshly bleeding gashes. I untie my sweater from around my waist— I hadn't wanted it in the way— and pull it over my arms. It immediately starts to stick to me, drenching in blood quickly.

A gash on my forehead drips down toward my eye, and I close it just as the drop of blood runs down to my cheek. My depth perception is a little fucked up now, but I don't wipe the blood away. I let it dry, sticking my eye shut loosely.

The bathroom lights don't flicker on automatically when I push the door open, and I feel around for the switch before making my way to the sinks. I place my hands onto the counter and lean forward, staring myself down in the mirror. The sink below me is full of water, with a wad of tissue clogging up the drain. A drop of blood falls into the pool and swirls around before settling at the bottom.

Seeing my face covered in blood secures me, as strange as that may seem. I think it's the certainty it gives me. I'm still somehow human. I can bleed. I can feel pain. Oh, god, can I feel the pain. A collection of stinging and throbbing and the heat coming from the exposed skin. It's really therapeutic.

I laugh out loud. This is how a psychopath thinks, right?

But I think I've put this off long enough.

I leave the bathroom, shutting the light off behind me. I leave the lobby, kicking Demitri in the nuts once more for good measure.

It's weird to be outside and not feel at least a little bit of cold wind nipping at my ears. I raise my arm up, the cuts screaming at me, and feel no air passing between my fingers. It's still cold out though; the temperature isn't affected by the time stopping.

I find the bus again. The driver's eyes are still wide open. It's weird to think that for him, no time at all has passed. For Roman and Patton and Dee, I was never at the school. When I lift my hand again, they won't know that they were frozen. It's still 10:07. It's been 10:07 for almost two hours now.

I stand right in front of the bus. It hadn't slowed down enough before I stopped it. My hand balls into a fist. This better work. If I wake up in my bed, free of pain, my skin clear... I'm going to lose it.

I gave that demon a lot of shit for my death.

My hand raises up again and the pulse from before rewinds itself, running back towards me as the bus starts moving. It hits me almost immediately, and I'm thrust backwards, my head smashing against the pavement.

---

I lift my head, pushing myself up in rage at the lack of pain in my limbs, until I look down.

I thought I'd woken up in my bed, but I see a body below me, eyes closed, blood seeping out onto the road as the bus driver runs out of his seat to come to its side. I float up, away from the body, and can feel the rise and fall of wings carrying me up by my command.

My wings.

My body.

My blood.

I'm dead.

Of course I've been in this state before. I'll wake up and rise up on angel wings, away from my dead body. I usually have to actually wait until morning before I wake up in bed, so only time will tell if I stay dead. I don't want to jinx myself, but I float down, right next to the driver's ear.

"Thank you," I whisper, and I fly off as he looks around.

But I know he can't see me.

---

The sun rises, and still I'm in the sky. My wings are still on my back. I stand right in front of the crowd of kids walking into the school, and none of them acknowledge me. In fact, a lot of them walk straight through me.

I sit down in my usual seat in class. It'll be fun to watch the day without having to do anything. The morning announcements play, and the teacher starts to ramble on about... something. I don't really care enough to pay attention. I notice Patton casting glances at my seat. He's probably wondering where I am.

I'm right here.

But I'm not, at the same time. I smile. Isn't this fun?

"Demitri Maverik, Logan Crofter, Roman Prince, and Patton Meadows to the Principal's office."

They start to stand up, Logan looking especially worried. I might as well follow them. They're my friends after all. Besides, I think I might know why they're being called.

There are four seats in front of Principal Woodfield's desk. Of course, no one could have known I would be here, so I just stand behind Patton, leaning against the door.

"Boys... I'm sure you noticed the absence of your friend Virgil in class this morning."

"Not really," Demitri says, rolling his eyes. I see Patton fiddling with the zipper on his coat, looking down at his lap. I take a step forward and put my hand on his shoulder. I hope he can feel it, at least a little bit. Out of everything, I think I feel the worst about leaving Patton.

"Well... um... he was found in the street this morning..." Woodfield starts, her eyes darting around. She's trying to stall, but Roman catches on quickly.

"Found?" he asks. "Do you mean, like... like was he passed out?" Okay, maybe not so quickly.

"No, he was... well, he was... dead, boys."

Patton's head shoots up. "What?"

"I'm sorry boys. He was hit by a bus last night."

"No. No, you're lying," Patton says. Tears well up in his eyes, but he tries to smile. It's weak. "You're joking. Dee payed you or something. Virgil's gonna... he's gonna jump out... a-and say 'gotcha' or something..." He looks around desperately, trying to find me.

I'm right here!!!

I walk out in front of him and hug him as he cries. I hope he can feel me hugging him. I hope he can understand I'm still here. I hope, I hope, I hope...

Roman leans over and puts his arms around Patton as well. Dee scoffs beside us and mutters something about "get a room". Across the room, Logan has gone still, no doubt trying to process the information. I want to console him too, so I stretch one of my wings out and stroke his cheek. He lifts his hand to his cheek, holding it to the spot where my wing is touching him. If I relax my eyes enough, I can even make it look like he's grabbing the edge of it. Like he knows it's there.

I realize all at once that this is what's best. For everyone.

Just because I'm dead doesn't mean that I can't still be around them. They just won't know that I'm here. But I know now more than ever that I need to protect them. I have to make sure that they know I still care. I'll figure out a way to make sure they know. I think I can do that better now than when I was alive.

Not everyone is meant to be alive. Sometimes, sacrifices have to be made so that someone gets their Guardian Angel.

---

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