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ladyknight33 · 2 months

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Severus Snape, The Lost Lily, and A Certain Kind of Courage

Not enough credit is given for the type of courage that allows an insecure boy to stand in enemy territory and apologize. It is the same type of courage that has allowed him to behave as a spy in the most dangerous situations of the story. The books inform us that Severus has insulted Lily multiple times, perhaps indirectly, when in conversation because of his constant acquaintance with Slytherins who referred to her as a Mudblood. In order to maintain relations with his Housemates, he needed to use the same vocabulary otherwise they would ostracize him along side the rest of the school. The books also say that Lily forgave him frequently for these transgresses and even defended him to her friends. Because of these references, she might not have had the slur directed at her from Severus’s own mouth. Only in passing in referring to the Muggleborn population. This could explain her outrage at the callous behavior Severus gave her following the “Worst Memory” incident and why she never forgave him.

To better understand why Lily took the derogatory slur so harshly, one needs to understand why Severus would have lashed out in such a horrid manner. Many readers insist that there is no forgiveness for this behavior, but circumstances pushed him into a no win situation.

First of all, the Marauders attacked Severus unprovoked. (This isn’t say that Severus never attacked first, but in this instance he was the victim) James Potter’s attacks were less harmful in the physical sense, but emotionally they caused embarrassment and lasting mental damage to Severus from the inability to defend himself. Second, Lily attempted to call James’s off no less than six times (HP OotP, Ch. 28). Fueling Severus’s embarrassment to have a girl defend him yet again when James actually relented.

“There you go,” he said, as Snape struggled to his feet again, “you’re lucky Evans was here, Snivellus –“

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”

Lily blinked. “Fine,” she said cooly. “I won’t bother in the future. And I’d wash your pants if I were you Snivellus.” (HP OotP Ch. 28)

There was a moment hesitation in Lily’s response that suggests surprise and shock, inferring that Severus had never referred to her directly as a Mudblood. Lily not one to be insulted returned in kind which no doubt destroyed Severus’s heart. His one friend and defender had abandoned him. This was likely the moment when Severus knew he had made the most grievous error of his life.

This error was fueled by years of influence by Slytherins such as Malfoy, Nott, and Mulciber. Severus had grown accustom to the slur’s constant use in casual reference and was expected to use the term without hesitation. By this point in his schooling years he was probably having to hide his interest in having Lily as a friend publicly in order to stay friends with his Housemates.

The stress and embarrassment of the situation in such a public manner likely did cause Severus’s vocabulary to slip out the insult. He needed to appear as the consummate Slytherin in the eyes of his racially bigoted friends and he had to appear self reliant in terms of the stereotypical male who does not seek protection from women. Most all cultures have this image of a strong male and seem to indicate that needing a female to fight his battles is considered weak. Given the home life of Severus Snape he likely learned this behavior from a strong willed Tobias Snape.

While no one is free from fault, circumstances, stress, embarrassment, shame and anger do cause people to say and do things they would otherwise not do. This combination of emotions does cause people to act irrationally. Teenagers are the best examples of people making irrational decisions. Everything from trying illegal drugs, drinking and driving, and defying a parent because of a simple misunderstanding are examples from real life. Granting another chance to people who do make horrible decisions while stressed is up to the victim of the attack. In this case, Lily decided that there could be no more chances.

Now with the emotional state of Severus Snape explained, it is time to talk about the courage it took to stand in front of the Gryffindor Common Room demanding to see Lily. He threatened to sleep there which meant he did not care about the rules or how the students of Slytherin would laugh at his decision. At that moment in his life Severus cared about nothing more than apologizing and seeking forgiveness for what he had done. Admitting fault is a difficult thing to do at the best of times, carrying with it the shame and humiliation all its own. Doing so publicly takes great courage. This is the courage of doing what must be done.

Severus Snape, who is not like by many people, influenced by hatred and bigotry, and faces ridicule for his choices, is able to swallow his pride and do what he knows is right. Argue that this is only because he does not want to loose Lily Evans and that would be correct. At this point in his life he has very little support in the social structure. He needs all the friends he can find. At this point in his life sexual interests have not been revealed. There is no evidence that he sought after Lily for anything other than a friend.

The courage it took to stand there and listen to Lily reject him while trying to apologize is breathtaking. This is the courage that allows him to stand before great evil and not waver. He has already felt the guilt of being unable to save what is lost. So he tries to salvage what he can. At this turning point in his life he is crying out for help but is unable to express himself. He wants to do right but his only outlet pulls him deeper into Voldemort’s grasp. With his last bridge of friendship with Lily burned, he likely had no more strength to resist the inclusion he felt with his Death Eater friends.

He still had the strength of mind to feel concern for Lily’s safety. Keep in mind that when the prophecy was first heard and reported no one knew who the child was. Severus had made the only choice he felt was left to him by becoming a Death Eater and in his mind getting even with Dumbledore by reporting the prophecy would have been high on his list of priorities. It was not until Voldemort chose his victim did anyone know who was in danger. Severus probably felt extreme guilt at passing the information, but he could not have known that Voldemort would choose the Potters as the most dangerous.

To his credit, Severus had the courage to ask the Dark Lord to spare Lily’s life. Many people, including Dumbledore, ask why ask for only the woman’s life. The reason is clear. Voldemort had chosen his victim and if Severus Snape had ask for the family to be spared then he would appear to be a traitor and destroyed. He could get away with asking for a woman he had loved since childhood. Voldemort knew of sexual desires and assumed Severus asked for a woman because he desired her. This is where the sexual definition of love started to develop. Severus never claimed it was true only that Voldemort made that assumption. Severus allowed the assumption to stand because it shielded him from suspicion.

When he begged Dumbledore for Lily’s life, Dumbledore accused him of only caring about her. Given the known history that would be a safe assumption. Of course Lily is Severus’s first thought. She was his first and only best friend. There would be some resentment over James Potter putting her in danger. But notice that it was not Dumbledore who insisted on protecting the family. Dumbledore asked “why did you not ask Voldemort to save the whole family?” which is a ridiculous thing to ask the man trying to kill said family. Severus was the one to volunteer the request to save the family. Yes, he wanted Lily safe and understood that to do so would require saving her family. He would not see James and Harry killed for the sake of one person.

Severus made a dangerous choice in seeking out Dumbledore. He is shown to be afraid during the confrontation, starting out by begging, “Don’t kill me!” Severus knew this meeting could easily end in his death or imprisonment and Lily was more important than either. His courage was fueled by fear at this point, but he still knew what had to be done and was willing to face the consequences.

During the Voldemort’s second rise to power, Severus hung between trust and traitor. He walked in two worlds where people refused to believe he was truly on their side. Constantly having to put up with the comments and insults. He bore this as best as his bitterness allowed him. But when faced with the task of killing Dumbledore, the courage needed to complete it was overwhelming. From Severus’s own memories it is known that he did not want to do as ordered. As shown with Draco Malfoy, killing is not so easy a task when one’s heart is not evil. This again is the courage of what must be done. Not because it is right, or because it is glamorous. But because it is the only option to reach the end goal.

Traditional heroes would have balked at killing a friend who would otherwise die a horrible death. Readers curse Severus for this action, one among many. If this horrible decision had not been made, then the ability to protect the students at Hogwarts and pass along vital information to Harry at the right time would never have come to be.

No matter how furious the Order of the Phoenix was at Severus’s actions, they needed him to do the dirty work of spying for them. With the information he brought them, they could then be the heroes everyone expects.

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