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#constantly being told i'm the problem when we run out of food that i can eat
godtears · 5 months
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The last few days (minus yesterday, I only ate 903 yesterday) I've just barely managed to eat up to 1200 calories and I'm VERY proud of that. And some time last week I managed to just once, for the first time, eat 2000 calories. Which is AMAZING. But it made me feel so sick afterwards, I hated food so much.
I genuinely do not understand HOW you people can eat around 2000 calories a day????????? Do you eat like. Barrels of food? Do you eat things that are like calorie thick somehow? Like. The doctor I saw was like "you should at MINIMUM eat 1500 a day if you can't eat the required 1800-2000" and brother I can't even get that far majority of the days. And if I do get close to 1000 I feel so sick after. Hell, yesterday (Monday) I only ate 903 and I STILL felt sick after. I still feel sick right NOW and it's after midnight (technically Tuesday) and the thought of food feels disgusting. Like. I don't get it. I genuinely don't understand how people are able to eat more than what I can stomach. I feel like what I eat is a normal proper amount, since it makes me feel comfortable. But then I tell people what I've eaten and they're like "Dude wtf are you starving yourself?" and its like no I'm not!!! Why are you saying that!!!
I'm just baffled. I don't know what to do. But like!!! No one fucking believes me!!! Because they look at me and see that I'm fat and assume that I'm lying and that I overeat. That is such a bad problem that one of the doctors I saw gave me a hunger suppressant despite saying OUT LOUD "now I know you undereat BUT" like LADY if I'm UNDEREATING then WHY are you giving me a HUNGER SUPPRESSANT?
I don't know why I'm fat! Okay? I do everything I can to exercise anywhere from 30 minutes to 4 hours a day. That includes walking, carrying things, squats, bends, stretches, dancing, stairs, carrying things ON stairs, etc. I used to do PARKOUR as a kid and would be seen walking and running around and climbing trees for up to 12 FUCKING HOURS.
My diet has always been as healthy as I could make it despite not having a lot of money growing up. We were lucky to have family who grew their own fruits and veggies and would give us some. I only really ate fresh foods. I rarely really ate any junk growing up. I don't really like eating junk all that much now. Majority of my diet is vegetables. I eat small amounts because larger amounts make me sick. Sometimes I can manage bigger amounts, but at a cost.
So like. Why am I fat?! "oh PCOS makes you fat" okay but EVERYONE I've talked to says that even though I have PCOS I can still lose weight with diet and exercise. I took metformin to help with my insulin resistance from my PCOS. And the doctor told me "oh you lost 10 pounds! But you're not gonna lose any more. You're stuck like this forever." but WHY?! The only time I genuinely lost weight was when I would go without eating for 1-2 days at a time. Do I need to do that again? Like fasting? I don't know! I don't understand!
I just feel so miserable being like this. I can't fit into clothes I like. I can't fit into any of my clothes anymore. I can't really buy new clothes easily. No one takes me seriously, especially not doctors. I get harassed. I get stared at. I get judged. I get bullied. I can't do things normal people can. Fuck I'm asthmatic because of second hand smoking but people are blaming it on me being fat and bully me for being asthmatic! I can't be "queer enough" cuz I'm fat. Transphobes use my weight as an excuse to call me an "ugly predatory man". Someone told me that my daughter was going to kill herself because of how fat I was. I black out sometimes and people have brushed it off as being because I'm fat. I live with someone who constantly makes me feel worthless for so many reasons including because I'm fat. I can't live like this anymore.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
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kyotosummer · 2 years
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Spy x Family: The Protagonists' Lessons and How They will Advance the Plot
This series is slowly taking over my mind.
As I've been discovering more about the plot of Spy x Family, I've noticed that a complicated series of lessons are being learned by each protagonist, and not only that, but while Anya's learning her needed lesson from both her parents, Twilight and Yor are actually learning the OPPOSITE lesson of the other. This intrigued me enough to explore a little more about these lessons, what they could mean, and how they could advance the plot.
Yor's Lesson: Don't blindly believe what you are told about people without thought, even if it's from someone who cares about you.
This poor girl doesn't have a single person in her life who isn't keeping secrets from her and manipulating her on some level - from unconsciously to fully intentional. Interestingly, Thorn Princess has made a few things pretty clear since the start of the series:
She's been employed by the Garden since her parents died
The Garden gives her all information about her target. This includes: Their Location The Identities of Everyone With Them What Crimes They Have Committed to be Considered a Traitor
She does not ever question this information
Now, I believe Yor kinda "checked out" when she became the head of the house after her parents died and got an assassination job to keep food on the table for Yuri. It's a completely understandable situation, but she's unknowingly going down a path that will force her to do one of two things:
Stay loyal to The Garden, which has been taking care of her since she was a small girl. This will require her to eventually kill Twilight and abandon Anya to an unknown fate, but she will be able to keep her worldview intact.
Question how The Garden defines a traitor and whether or not their own ideals are as justified as they've made them appear.
This girl is tied into every political web she could trip and fall to - She's an assassin for a shadow organization that seems to be on the political side opposing Donovan Desmond's group. Because she does no research for her job outside of what she's handed, she doesn't know anything about the politics surrounding her job, and thus accidentally became friends with Donovan Desmond's WIFE OF ALL PEOPLE.
AND OF COURSE, TO TOP THE CHERRY ON THIS SUNDAE, her husband is a spy from the country hers could go to war against at any moment, and her brother is part of the secret police.
There's going to come a moment where Yor's going to be told she has to pick a side, no matter what. How she handles that will determine how much she's grown as a character.
Twilight's Lesson: You will have to blindly trust someone at some point, buddy.
This is why I'm intrigued by this story. Twilight's problem is the opposite - He has gotten used to questioning everyone's thought process so much that the only way he can comprehend a person NOT having an ulterior motive is if they're a complete simpleton.
Now, for the most part, this mindset has gotten him pretty far in life and it makes sense - Everyone this dude has ever gotten close to has kicked the bucket & all he has EVER received for the sacrifices and harm gone his way are congratulations for surviving and being told he'll never get a thank you but he should still be proud.
Twilight has been able to run away from his hurting of people in the past because he's constantly in enemy territory, but now there's a kid involved, and he has to rely on this kid to make friends and get him close to his target.
Now, we all know Anya's trying her little butt off to help her papa, but Twilight doesn't. He's only able to see what's on the surface, and that's causing him to not only underestimate Anya, it's allowing Anya to get to know him, which is something Twilight has not allowed anyone to do for a very, very long time. (except MAYBE Franky… maybe)
Along with Anya, he's also forced to rely on Yor, who is able to care for Anya when he's not there and help around the house. Yor has been able to get past his defenses because of her lack of ulterior motives, which caused Twilight to classify her as a simpleton and dismiss any other signs of something not being right.
Another thing to note: Twilight is avoiding help from his organization. Yes, he's worked with other agents, but he's chosen Franky, who is an informant FROM OSTANIA and not an actual member of the organization, as his partner for several spy events in the past (even trying to dress him up as Anya's 'mom' before Yor), and he's choosing to live with civilians over other agents for STRIX.
While this is working out for him in the story, if the situation were ANY different, it'd be blatantly obvious he is doing everything he can to basically work alone, and he'd probably fail.
(Franky, if you ever betray him, you BETTER feel guilty and YOU BETTER FIX IT. AND DON'T DIE DOING IT. Rootin' for you, bud!)
There's going to be a moment where Twilight/Loid/[[Redacted]] will find out about Yor and Anya, and I think that moment's going to come at a time where he'll be truly alone and only Yor (possibly Anya and/or Franky) will be there to help him. His level of growth will be determined on whether or not he's willing to accept it and trust them.
Anya's Lesson: Do Your Best, Respect Boundaries, Choose Love and it will Find You
Anya has all the backstory properties of a villain: a shady organization experimented on her, turned her into a telepath, and treated her as a test subject not worthy of comfort until she was able to escape. She goes to at least 4 different homes and everyone is creeped out by her/kicks her out. Even the guy running the orphanage Loid found her at wanted to get rid of her.
Even when she and Loid first met, she fully knew his interest in her was temporary, and planned to use him as much as he used her - as much as a 4 year old can. For her, this meant she got to play with spy gear...
...until that got her kidnapped, and the whole world changed.
I don't think it's been considered the impact of Twilight coming to rescue Anya. This girl has spent her entire life being rejected over things she had no control over, but this time she got in trouble because of something she really did and really messed up. In spite of that, and in spite of the fact that it would have been easier for Twilight to just go find another kid, he came back for Anya. Along with hearing his thoughts of guilt over getting her in danger and reminding himself that he wants a world where children don't cry. Anya ended up learning her first lesson about love and boundaries.
The story has been pretty blatant about Anya's progress, so I'm not going to go into too much detail, but throughout the story, we see her learning lessons through various means:
At school, Damian pushes her to do her best as her rival. Becky, who was won over by Anya defending her after Damian stepped on her foot (a lie but still), reminds her to practice self-care.
Yor helps Anya learn to do her best. Because most of Yor's thoughts are preoccupied by her profession in one way or another, Anya's attempts to read her mind for an easy way out usually end in failure. However, this forces Anya to be more creative and physical in her actions when working with Yor, which are outside of her comfort zone.
Loid/Twilight is the one teaching Anya to respect boundaries, which is HILARIOUS to me. Not only was that one of her first lessons with the whole kidnapping event, but he's lectured her about cheating on tests in the past (even though that would be an excellent attitude to have for the mission), is the one who drilled in her head that she needs to apologize if she hits someone (even though it was for the mission, still important), and he has frequent discussions with her about understanding people and their thought processes. The parts of his teachings that would be more harmful than helpful due to his spy lifestyle are usually countered by Anya sensing his thoughts about stress and his stomach, steering her interest away from her negative traits.
Both parents are teaching her about giving/receiving love in their own way. Yor is able to show her in their day-to-day lifestyle and her unconditional love, and Anya learns from Loid by reading his mind and seeing the thought process behind his actions. These different lessons are painting a picture for Anya really show her the full picture of love: Trusting them, Respecting their boundaries, and coming back for them.
As far as how these lessons will be tested for Anya, I'm not sure. I do know the show points out she can be very self-centered, and her #1 priority is to stay with her parents (specifically Loid), so the most likely scenario is that she'll end up in a situation where the best strategic choice is to go with the bad guys/separate from Twilight and trust he'll find her.
What does this mean for the story advancement?
Well, there's one last thing we have to consider first:
Twilight hasn't cried since THE INCIDENT, which anytime is mentioned comes with a "no one reached out to help/console" him comment.
So with that said, here're my thought about discovering identities, etc.:
Either Loid and Yor find out about each other at the same time, or Yor finds out about Twilight first.
If Twilight finds out about Yor first, he will DIP. Now that Melinda's in the picture, he may even ditch both Yor AND Anya. He is aware of the powerhouse The Garden is, and he knows he'd never stand a chance against Yor in a fight.
He may consider manipulating her on some level, but I see him choosing to leave everything behind over fighting her.
2. I think the reveal will actually involve both going to rescue Anya after she's been taken from them.
It would fit in a scenario where Anya's convinced separating from her parents is better for everyone, and it gives both of them a reason to be in their Professional Mode at the same time in the same place.
3. Most of the mental struggle of this reveal will be shown through Yor's mind.
Twilight has been telling himself he'll dismiss the family once the mission's done over and over again, so outside of a general surprise of Yor's identity, he's mentally prepared himself to separate from them. Yor will be the one to struggle with the fact that she's been married to 'the enemy' for as long as she has.
4. Twilight will be put in a position where he feels alone, and he will cry.
I REALLY think this will happen, and because it was his mom last time, the two best thematic parallels are either something involving his missing dad, or he thinks something happened to Anya.
IF it's because he thinks something happened to Anya, that would be a perfect moment for Yor to have to make her own decision on whether Loid should be considered a traitor, and then for Loid to realize he CAN trust Yor.
5. Once Twilight gets Anya back and understands the full situation, he will be SO PROUD OF HER.
IF I DON'T GET AN ENTIRE FRIGGIN' SPEECH BY HER PAPA ABOUT HOW RESOURCEFUL ANYA'S BEEN, HOW HARD SHE'S WORKED, HOW MUCH EFFORT SHE'S PUT INTO TWILIGHT'S PLANS, AND HOW AMAZING SHE'S BEEN DESPITE THE FACT SHE NEVER EXPECTED ANYONE TO FIND OUT, NEVER EXPECTED A REAL THANK YOU, AND ALL THIS WHILE WORKING UNDER CONSTANT THREAT OF BEING EXPOSED I WILL RIOT.
TWO-PAGES OF PRAISE AND THEN AN ILLUSTRATION OF JUST THE TWO OF THEM, LOID SO PROUD AND ANYA SO MOVED IS THE MINIMUM REQUIREMENT FOR ANYA'S EFFORTS. THAT GIRL IS WORKING HER BUTT OFF.
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estro-boi · 8 months
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cw suicide (not mine, I'm just venting), cw abuse
in 2017 i moved in with a girl because nobody would rent to her on her own. we were good friends and i knew full well that we wouldn't be by the time i moved out. given that she would be homeless otherwise, i did it. she made multiple suicide attempts during this period, each of which is seared into my memory. the first time she went into my room and stole all my benzos trying to overdose (thankfully benzos alone are pretty hard to die from unless you fall down the stairs or something). it was like 4am. she then demanded that i give her more (there were no more, she didn't believe me) or she'd leave and kill herself and it would be my fault. the second time she texted me the note while i was at work and i had to spend 45 minutes on public transport terrified that there was a corpse waiting for me at the end. when i got there someone had called an ambulance so my home was full of paramedics and cops. the bathtub was full of blood and she needed to get a ton of stitches at the hospital. i couldn't bring myself to put my arm in the tub and drain it so until she came home i couldn't go for a piss without seeing it and thinking about what i very nearly came back to. the third time she spent maybe a fortnight telling me she was going to kill herself on her birthday and if i told anyone or tried to stop her then she'd do it earlier. she'd sit in her room blasting the same incredibly depressing song over and over for two straight weeks while i just sat in bed hearing it through the wall and crying and not knowing what to do. one time she left a note and took some rope and disappeared in the middle of the night and i was searching through the woods in pitch darkness for over an hour trying to find her, again terrified that i'd get there too late. there were a bunch more incidents like this.
this was 18 months of my life, 18 months of constant hypervigilance for any kind of slight change in tone or behaviour that might indicate something was about to happen again. being the only other person around, her anger and frustration would get projected onto me, manifesting as constant emotional manipulation and abuse. any problems i had were a personal insult because i hadn't gone through what she'd been through. anything i did, literally as far as buying food for her dog because he'd run out, would turn into hours-long struggle sessions where every aspect of my character was torn to shreds. accusations that i was some kind of predator who'd only moved in because i was trying to fuck her came up a lot.
i got deeper into pills, i was getting shitfaced every night, i wasn't socialising, i was barely sleeping. by the end i was literally just staring at the walls silently because i was scared to do anything else. i couldn't leave because she had no means of supporting herself and the added stress might have been the final straw that killed her. even after she told me to leave, i kept paying rent for months because she couldn't afford it. she spent those months texting me more abuse, telling me on one occasion that I should kill myself.
there's no real point to this, i just need to vent it somewhere. it's been 5 years since i moved out and im still paralysed with anxiety whenever i do anything. i can't go to shows anymore, i can't meet people, im silent all the time because im scared to make noise. i freak out if im doing anything and i can hear someone talking because im afraid that i'll seem like im ignoring them, which was a massive flashpoint in that house. i barely leave the house to do anything. i feel like i haven't relaxed in years, im constantly on edge now because i had to be back then as a matter of life and death.
i never got any closure in any of this. i think about this girl every single day when some horrible memory or other bubbles up in my brain. i can close my eyes right now and see the bathtub where she slashed her wrists. i can see her at my bedroom door yelling at me to give her drugs that i didn't have. i don't know if she's alive. i can't talk to anybody about it. i tried to help my friend and it ruined my life.
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jerswosouski · 1 year
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My Journey To My Dreams: The Autobiography of Jerick Legaspi
The name I go by is Jerick Legaspi. On April 27, 2004, Caloocan City welcomed me into the world. I am the youngest of six siblings, five of whom are women. Maria Glocilda Legaspi and Gualberto Legaspi were my parents. But on November 29 of last year, my mother passed away at the age of 59 from a number of health issues. In his drunken state, my father—who is still alive—was an alcoholic who would never change. 
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When I was younger, I spent all of my time indoors since my elder sister didn't want to let me go outside to play. I'll have to tidy the home, go to bed, and learn to read throughout the day. I was allowed to do the rambling, play outdoors all day, and even skip class when she moved out of the house to attend school in the province with my auntie. I didn't like my teacher at the time since she slurred me in class, so I didn't want to go to school during that time. I was being watched over by my second sister, who naturally reprimanded me when she spotted me. In Grades 1-3, I also had three years of being a kid with my pals, so I didn't really feel like I was studying at all. I didn't really pay attention as long as I brought food to school that would keep me full for the day. But finally, I became content with my wandering; I'm not even sure why. I made a commitment to myself that I would stop letting not paying attention to what we were studying lead me to fall behind my peers. So, ever since I started attending school in grade 4, I've done all I was told to do, passed everything that needed to be passed, and joined the class. I frequently only have five pesos in my pocket, so in order to feed myself, I will buy ham for five pesos per slice and bring a lot of rice, which I will save for when the rice runs out. I always reminded myself, "I'm not going to school to eat and come home with nothing, I'm going to school to learn something," and that's how I made it through recess. Perhaps my attitude was that way because I want to reach my ambition, and that is one of my personal mantras when it comes to school. I received my first award as a result of that being my personal motto, and I kept it until I graduated elementary school.
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On my first day of high school, I was eager to attend. Since my classmates were excellent students as well, I worked harder to study. However, I did not lose, and I received the medal. I am grateful for this since it had been one of my wishes to see my mother decorate the medal on my head, and I was able to realize that desire. Because there was a pandemic and I didn't have my own cellphone at the time, I had to borrow one from my second sister, and I felt ashamed to borrow a phone every day because she claimed she couldn't hold it anymore. As a result, I was unable to improve my grades in Grade 10. I continued to receive honors up until Grade 9, though. Because of my frequent absences from the online class, I've given up on maintaining my good grades. A loaned tablet was finally given in the second semester after a lengthy delay. I was sorry about it because they had not yet been tied to the points I needed to proceed with honor. Dad even agreed to my mental anguish. My mother passed away as a result of his excessive chaos; orders here, orders there, even when they should be sleeping at night, he still wants problems. Every time he drinks, the house is constantly in a bustle from him losing his mind and chattering all night until dawn. He doesn't sleep when he's drunk, he didn't even love and take care of my mother as his wife, and we are also affected and disturbed by his chaoticness There are times when we are full of schoolwork and he is drunk when he sees us still awake he will turn off the circuit breaker, I'm agonizing, enraged of him but I can't do anything because he is still our father. My eldest sister always said, "even if the world turns upside down, he's still our father and there's nothing we can do but accept the truth, and we won't be together forever". It's a good thing to get away from this situation since, even if mom is no longer there, dad is still like that: dirty, boisterous, and out of his mind when he's drunk. He can only express his emotions there when he is drunk, but when he isn't drunk, he is quiet and easy to talk to, but the only thing we dislike is the pride that is out of place because he always said he is a college graduate, why is his life like that, and many other things he regrets in his life that he took her to the point of having a family, so we sympathize, instead of correcting his mistake and pursuing his dream even for his children but he didn't think like that, so, my two sisters didn’t finish their college degree because of him which I was frustrated. There are only four of us studying, two in college and two in high school, and the one in college is graduating this year while also working. We cope and endure the dream, even if it is difficult to bear, simply to make it come true.
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I now reside with my oldest sister since the actual estate we mortgaged to pay for my mother's funeral is no longer available. It's so difficult since the problems pile up one after the other; at school, at home, in my life, with dad and mum that I was so depressed and still can't believe we're not with her. In exchange for continuing my studies, I will assist with housework and care for the children, who are my nieces and nephews. I'm still having trouble managing my time because my most free time is at night, and when I'm sleepy, I wake up late, which irritates my sister, and what else can I say I've already been heard and I just want to go away and don't see each other even once in a blue moon so we can miss each other because when we're together it's messy. I want tranquility, nature's view, and neighbors who are far away, and I don't care about anybody except myself, but I can't do anything since I don't have the money yet, and I also don't have a job, so I'm working really hard to achieve all of my goals so that I may go to my dream spot. I won't imitate my father's habit of regretting everything and letting time run its course and time pass. 
I believed when you succeed in something everyone around you cares but in the process of how you managed to achieve the success they don't care in other words "No one cares about your effort, Only the result" so whoever after reading this don't lose hope and pursue what you want in life because as long as there is life there is hope and that is what you will remember.
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spade-club · 1 year
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I want to text them. Tell them I'm sorry I'm a coward. Tell them they deserve so much better and I'm sorry I can't be the one thing they need of me. That I'm selfish and lazy and I'm sorry. I'm the reason they're struggling. I take and I take and I take and I take and I take and I take and I take its all I know. I can never stand to make someone I love happy. I could never fucking do that.
I also want to text them and tell them how dare they. Constantly compare our mothers. I trusted you to meet her because I thought maybe you would get it. But you can't stand to understand someones struggle if it isnt yours. How can you manage to hear of anything less than your pain and assume it nothing. You've been through shit. You know how shitty your shit is. How do you manage to see me, one step down, and assume its all fine. You're an unreliable narrator, yeayea we all are, sure. But how am I supposed to agree with you guiltlessly that others dont have it so bad. When you say the same to me that you say about someone else and I know, I know that you're wrong about me. What does that say about him? The one you've discarded. Maybe you'll ruin me like you ruined him. I wish I could take all of my self importance away from you, I wish I could hold it out of your reach. But its too late and now you decide if I'm worthy of love. You, who wont stop telling me how great I have it with my mother. That drives me so fucking crazy that you can say that. Yeah, she loves me, yeah she does shit for me sometimes, yeah we're capable of being friends sometimes. Doesnt mean she isnt still the evil bitch who stained my eyes red. Doesnt mean she isnt still the woman who screamed at me for hours because I went nonverbal, on multiple occasions. Doesnt mean she isnt still the woman who threatened to leave me, sobbing uncontrollably and unable to move, in a store before walking up to the front, out of sight, for 20 minutes. Or the woman who threw food at my feet when I told her I was too weak to move from not being fed for days. The woman who lost almost every permission slip I handed her and never apologized. The woman who told me that my friend was the better version of me. The woman who told me for years that I was lying when I told her I was allergic to certain foods that she knows I used to love, the woman who forced me to eat said foods no matter how much it hurt me. The woman who decided that feeding me was just too discouraging so she gave up. The woman who kept telling me that she might as well just be dead or run away and never come back because shes so evil and awful and the worst. But she never did. But I cant tell you all that because you'd go ahead and turn it around on me for making my pain her problem. Because you are the same. You and her are the same and I still cant help but fucking love you.
I don't want to know them anymore. It hurts too bad. But I know I'm only saying this because I'm not the parts of me that love them. And it drives me fucking crazy that there are parts of me that love them. I hate my life. I want to go back, live with my parents again, I want to rot.
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etceteraon · 3 years
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losing heart | hjs
pairing: gamer!jisung x female reader
genre: f2l, fluff, romance, angst
warnings: slight language
word count: 10.2k
summary: after meeting and starting to date your close online friend of a few months, you start to realize that maybe you might have been better off staying online.
a/n: this is my first fic and I really hope it's enjoyable, I worked really hard on it and hope it meets any expectations. I also wanted to thank
@softbbyg0rl
for being so kind as to help me proofread this and actually help me expand upon it, I'm really thankful for their help and this probably wouldn't be half of what it is without them helping me out. I am indebted to them /j. I also had another friend help me read over this and I promised them a jeongin x reader in return, so expect that in the near future!
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Video games had never been an issue for you before. You enjoyed them yourself normally, occupying yourself with various titles and genres of video games. Growing up you were known as the nerdy kid, finding interest in things that the other kids deemed ‘weird’. Really it was just that they were closed minded and couldn’t accept anything that was different or new. Anime and video games were entertaining, it didn't matter to you what other people thought about it. It was something that had helped you bond with some of your family members, and had helped you make a few friends over the years, one of them being your current boyfriend, Han Jisung.
The two of you had met online in a game you both enjoyed, Genshin Impact. Normally conversation in this game wasn’t much, just asking what the other needed and helping the other out with it. Things like domains, bosses, etc. After that was all said and done, you said your goodbyes and left, more than likely never encountering the other player ever again. When you and Jisung had met in the game however, things had gone much differently. It was only after about an hour of grinding domains that he had asked for your Discord, the two of you chatting on there for a few weeks before you both mustered up the courage to voice call. A few weeks after that, it was video calls. Only a couple months later, you two were very close friends, playing games and hanging out whenever you both had free time.
How quickly you two had clicked was a mystery to the both of you, but even your online friends were surprised at how fast you had let Han Jisung into your circle. Normally you were very particular about who you spoke to, let alone on a daily basis. Whenever you first met someone you usually spent the first few weeks getting a read on their personality and getting to know them before even thinking about actually getting close to them. It seemed Jisung had just rubbed off on you so quickly you hadn’t had a chance to actually go through your usual process.
When Jisung had suddenly brought up the idea of meeting in person just six months after first meeting each other online, it came as a shock to you, not expecting him to be the one to suggest it since you had learned he was actually an introvert despite his online persona. You had both learned that you lived relatively close to each other, having discussed where you lived previously. It was still about a two hour trip from your house though. Jisung of course had suggested he be the one to travel, but you didn’t want to cause him any more anxiety than he already had and told him you’d be more than willing to do the traveling.
A week was all it had taken for you to get on a bus and travel from your hometown to his. Jisung was texting you the entire ride there, clearly nervous with how many questions he was asking, probably wondering to himself if he should just call it all off. Your other online friends had gotten quite jealous since you hadn’t even met them yet, but you had to remind them just how much further away they were compared to him. They couldn’t argue with that. The two hour ride hadn’t felt long, your legs relieved to be standing upright as you exited the bus, holding your bag close as you looked around nervously. You had never done something like this before, and you honestly hadn’t even realized just how nervous you were up until now.
Scanning the busy sidewalk, you squinted, nibbling on your bottom lip as you struggled to focus, your heart slamming against your chest. Having to wear masks didn’t make things any easier, only being able to see the top half of people's faces really limited your ability to recognize someone you had only ever seen over the phone. After a few minutes, you had begun to wonder if Jisung had up and ditched you. Scrambling for your phone, you nearly dropped it, hissing as you unlocked it and looked over your messages with Jisung. He had said he was on his way to the bus stop a half an hour ago. It couldn’t take him that long could it?
About to call him, you walked over to the bench and sat yourself down, pressing the dial button and placing the phone up to your ear, looking around sheepishly, silently wondering if you were going to be ghosted and have to take another two hour drive home. Faintly you could hear the sound of a phone ringing, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, you turned your attention to the source, seeing a rather short male with bleach blonde hair running towards the bus stop with a motorcycle helmet in hand. It was only moments before the male wearing all black actually reached the stop, looking around, locking eyes with you for a moment before pulling out his phone that was ringing and taking less than a second to look at the caller ID before answering.
“Y/n? I just got here- Where are you?” He questioned, nearly making you scoff into your phone’s receiver as you stood up, looking directly at him and cocking an eyebrow.
“Right in front of you.”
The slow turn and the look of realization was more than comical. Jisung’s eyes widening and then scrunching as he smiled under his mask. Hanging up the phone he slowly walked over, rubbing the back of his neck as he cleared his throat, shaking slightly with anxiety. “I uh, I’m sorry for getting here late. I kind of ran into an issue and had to do some last minute problem solving.” He explained, earning a head tilt from you. “What kind of problem?” You asked, wanting him to elaborate.
A quiet chuckle left his lips as he held up the motorcycle helmet he was holding, motioning back towards a bike that was parked on the side of the road. “I only had one. So I had to go and buy another.” You were sure your expression had matched Jisung’s from just moments before, in shock as you realized the motorcycle was his. If he was slow at realizing you were right in front of him, you were slow in realizing something much more obvious. “You never told me you drive a motorcycle…” You trailed off, Jisung nodding slowly in agreement.
“Ride a motorcycle but yeah. It never really came up and I’m not one of those people who constantly brags about riding one. It’s just a mode of transportation and happens to be cheaper than a car.” He shrugged, and honestly, you couldn’t argue with his reasoning. Clearing your throat, you shrugged your bag further up onto your shoulder, shifting your weight back and forth on your feet. “Well, I’m here. Now what?”
Jisung paused for a moment, seemingly processing your words before motioning towards his bike once more. “I figured we could go back to my place. I figured I’d order food since I’m not the best cook as you know. Almost burnt down my apartment on multiple occasions. My roommate is there, but he’s really chill. You’ve heard him every now and then on call or on mic. He normally keeps to himself, but I already told him about you coming and he doesn’t mind.” He stopped, thinking about whether or not that was everything he was wanting to say. “...Yeah. Unless you don’t feel comfortable with that of course. We can always go somewhere public and just hang out like that.” He offered, clearly not wanting to make you do anything you didn’t want to do.
“No, that sounds great.” You assured him, seeing his eyes scrunch as he smiled again, nodding happily. “Okay cool, let me just-” He stepped forward, getting alarmingly close and leaning forward. It felt as if your heart had stopped beating and the world was moving in slow motion around you. But before you could let your mind wander too far, Jisung placed the helmet he had been holding on your head, knocking you right out of your trance. “-ouch…” You mumbled, Jisung leaning back just slightly to look you in the eyes.
“Sorry, it’s kind of heavy, but it’ll keep your head intact.” He joked quietly, making sure everything was tight, locked and secure before stepping back and flipping the shield to cover your face, smirking slightly as he smacked the top of the helmet. “You good in there?”
Rolling your eyes, you flipped the shield back up to glare at him, smacking his arm as he laughed. “So you’re an ass in person too?” Jisung clicked his tongue before snapping his fingers and shooting finger guns at you. “You know it.” You were internally cringing, but before you could even think about teasing him for it, he was walking over to his bike and you had no choice but to follow, trailing behind him like a lost puppy.
You watched as he got on his bike, pulling his helmet on with ease and starting the engine, the loud sound making you flinch. If Jisung noticed this he didn’t comment on it, simply looking over at you and moving his head to the side, signaling for you to get on the bike. You had never rode one before, so this was a nerve wracking situation. What happened if you fell off? What if you got into an accident? Your mom had always told you just how dangerous motorcycles were. What if this was a bad idea?
Suddenly, Jisung was off of his bike and his hands were on your waist, lifting you up and onto the motorcycle, flipping your face shield back down before getting back on himself. He kicked the stand up so he was now balancing the bike himself. Looking back at you, he raised his voice so you could hear him over the sound of the motor. “I’d suggest you put your arms around me unless you wanna fall off.” Mean, but you knew he was just trying to tease you. You didn’t waste any time to wrap your arms securely around his waist, your head resting against his back. You swear you could feel him laugh as he flipped his face shield down, but you didn’t have any time to really think about it before he was off, riding down the streets of Incheon with you clinging to him for dear life.
The ride to his apartment felt like forever when in reality it only took a few minutes. Your grip on him hadn’t loosened in the slightest, far too afraid of falling from the motorcycle. Even after he had parked and turned off the engine, you were still sticking to him, an audible laugh leaving his lips as he took off his helmet. “You plan on letting go anytime soon?” He teased, you only shaking your head in response. He snickered before carefully prying your hands off of his waist, getting off of the bike and helping you off before taking your helmet and tilting his head slightly, noting your expression. “Was it that bad? I tried to be a little less reckless than normal.” His tone was joking, but you could tell he was genuinely concerned he had scared you.
“N-No it wasn’t that bad, just not used to it.” You assured him, stumbling slightly as you tried to take a step forward, his arms quickly reaching forward and holding you so you didn’t fall. “Jeez, we’re lucky you don’t have very far to walk.” Again with the teasing. You weren’t surprised by it though, Jisung had always been like that when you two talked. You scoffed, hanging on to his arm as you steadied yourself. “Shut up Ji. Where’s your place?” You questioned, Jisung smirking before leading you towards the building, letting you hang on to his arm without much thought. He didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest despite having told you that physical contact made him nervous. You wondered what had changed. Carefully leading you inside and through the building, the both of you made it to his apartment, you finally letting go of him as he pulled out his keys and unlocked the door. If his roommate was home you weren’t sure why the door was locked, but you didn’t bother to question it as the door opened and Jisung motioned inside. “Ladies first.”
“When have you ever considered me a lady?” You joked, stepping into the apartment and looking around curiously, Jisung scoffing at your question as he shut the door behind the both of you. “Since always. You are one are you not?”
Shrugging, you didn’t answer his question, tugging at the straps on your bag as you walked further into the apartment. For some reason the decor didn’t really feel like it matched Jisung. After all, he had this whole e-boy/rocker look going on and you had fully expected the apartment to be messy and unorganized, but it was the complete opposite. It was clean, spotless even, and it made you wonder if he had cleaned simply because he knew you were coming to visit. Turning to look over your shoulder, Jisung smiled sheepishly, fiddling with a zipper on his leather jacket. “My roommate helped clean everything up. It doesn’t usually look like this.” He admitted, making you laugh and shake your head. “I figured as much.”
As if on cue, another male stepped out of a room in the hall, locking eyes with you and giving you a questioning look before noticing Jisung standing beside you, putting two and two together as a smile started to form on his face. “Oh, you must be Y/n-ssi.” He stated matter-of-factly, making his way down the hall towards the both of you and holding out his hand to you in greeting. You gingerly grasped his hand, smiling softly as he began to introduce himself while shaking your hand. “I’m Yang Jeongin, 01’ liner.”
Your eyes lit up at the realization that you were both the same age, “L/n Y/n, also 01’ liner.” You stated, watching as he relaxed a little realizing that he no longer needed to be so formal with you. The two of you let go of each other's hands, “Ah, well it’s nice to meet you Y/n. Jisung hyung has talked about you a lot.”
Raising an eyebrow, you glanced back at Jisung who smiled and shrugged as if to say he didn’t know what Jeongin was referring to. “I hope it was only good things.” You returned your attention to the male in front of you, watching as he chuckled and quickly nodded his head in agreement with your words. “Only good things. He’s always going on about how much he enjoys your company and how pr-”
“Yang Jeongin- '' Jisung cut him off suddenly, the younger male’s eyes widening before a mischievous smile crossed his face. The two males exchanged various expressions, you watching in confusion as they had a silent conversation with their faces. After a few moments, you cleared your throat, feeling awkward just standing between the two as they acted as if you weren’t right there. Snapping out of it, Jisung looked at you, quickly putting on a smile as he placed a hand on the small of your back, leading you towards the hall. “How about we hang out in my room, hm?”
“Wha- but I thought-” You trailed off, Jeongin following behind the two of you. “Seriously Jisung hyung? I thought we were all gonna hang out-” He mumbled, Jisung shaking his head as he practically pushed you into his room, stepping inside and shutting the door on Jeongin before the younger could hold it open. Locking it, Jisung turned to you, noticing your quizzical expression. He chuckled nervously, placing his hands in his pockets as he averted his gaze. “I just thought it might be better to hang out alone for a little while.” He stated, though his words sounded off, like he was only partly telling the truth.
You decided not to pry however, glancing at the door behind him. “What about Jeongin? He seemed upset.” Jisung shook his head, moving away from the door and closer to you. “He’ll be fine. He’s only being like that since we don’t normally have people over. After we hang out on our own for a while and go back out there he’ll forget about it.” He sounded so sure of himself that you had no reason not to believe him, nodding slowly as Jisung bit down on his bottom lip, seemingly debating something in his head.
“What’s up Ji?” You questioned, said male letting out a breathy laugh, not at all surprised that you had noticed something was going on in his head. “I uh- well I didn’t want to make it weird or anything but… I was wondering if I could give you a hug?” He sounded like he was nervous, and that suspicion was confirmed when you noticed how he was refusing to look at you, shifting back and forth on his feet. You found this cute, giggling quietly as you looked him over. You had just been practically glued to him while he was taking you back to his place on his motorcycle and now he was all shy and nervous because he wanted a hug?
Wordlessly, you crossed the remaining space between the two of you, wrapping your arms around his waist and looking up at him. Jisung tensed up slightly at your touch, remaining still for a moment before wrapping his arms around you, holding you close and resting his head on top of yours. “I made that weird didn’t I?” Snickering, you nodded, still keeping your hold on him but closing your eyes. “Just a little, but it’s fine. You make everything weird.”
An offended sound left his lips, earning a laugh from you as he pouted. “I do not make everything weird.” He mumbled, watching as you slowly pulled away and sat down on his bed, glancing around the room to actually take everything in. The decor in his room definitely made more sense, anime posters and figurines, manga, various instruments, LED lights adorning the ceiling, his gaming setup. It was all very Han Jisung. A light blush adorned Jisung’s cheeks as he cleared his throat and sat down beside you, nibbling the inside of his cheek. “Sailor Moon huh?” You teased, watching as his ears turned red with embarrassment.
“You’re gonna make me take all of this down right now I swear.” He huffed, eyeing you as you took your bag off and set it on the floor before falling back onto his bed, looking up at the ceiling and kicking your feet. “I think it’s cute. I like Sailor Moon too, she’s pretty.” You admitted, meeting his gaze to show that you were being honest.
“I mean, what’s not to like about her? She’s funny, sweet, caring, cute- plus she has a cute cat and super powers. Not only that but her outfit when she transforms is adorable. I’d wear that if I could.” You trailed off, watching as Jisung’s expression changed. You couldn’t read what it was, but there was a slight sparkle in his eyes as you spoke about his favorite anime character. “What are you thinking about?” You pondered, Jisung smiling as he snapped out of his trance, laying down beside you. “I just didn’t expect you to like Sailor Moon too. We never talked about that before so I didn’t even know you liked anime.” You considered his words before realizing that he was right, nodding slowly.
“I do. I watch it every now and then when I have time, but I grew up watching it. Dragon Ball Z, Sailor Moon, Naruto, the essentials.” The two of you talked about anime and your other interests besides gaming for a while, simply laying on Jisung’s bed as you both relaxed and spent time together, getting to know each other a little more. It was almost comical how easily you two got comfortable with each other despite having never met in person up until then. You both stayed there for about an hour before Jisung had brought up his music, asking you if you wanted to hear what he had been working on. Of course you obliged, sitting up as he grabbed his guitar and made his way back over, playing a few songs for you after getting over his initial nervousness to sing in front of you.
You praised him for how good he was at singing and playing the guitar, also mentioning just how thoughtful and beautiful his lyrics were. He turned bright red at your compliments, shaking his head as he put his guitar back, holding out his hand to you as he came back over, asking if you wanted to go out into the living room and watch some TV and order some food. Of course you agreed and took his hand, getting up and following him out of his room and into the living room where Jeongin was sitting, his eyes moving from the TV to the both of you. “Oh, are you finally gonna come out here and hang out?” You could tell he was upset, but not enough to cause his voice to sound angry.
Jisung simply nodded at his roommate, going over to the couch and scooting him over before sitting down himself and patting the empty spot beside him for you to sit. You made your way over to the two males, slowly sitting down as you looked at what Jeongin had been watching, some YouTuber playing a game you had never seen before. Looked like both of the boys were gamers, which made sense. Jisung took the remote from Jeongin, switching it from YouTube to Netflix and clicking his account before handing you the remote. “You can watch whatever you want.” He told you, pulling out his phone so he could order food, Jeongin looking over his shoulder as he mumbled to the older male what he felt like eating. You laughed quietly, shaking your head before returning your focus to the TV.
You picked out an animated movie you hadn’t seen in a while, reaching forward and setting the  TV remote down on the small table situated in front of the couch. Leaning back you noticed Jisung’s eyes glued to the TV, confused at his expression until Jeongin also looked up. “Ah, Jisung hyung watches this all the time. I think I’ve seen it at least twenty times.” He mumbled, your eyes widening as you leaned forward to grab the remote. “I can pick something else if you both have already seen this-” Jisung quickly reached forward, shaking his head as he took the remote and set it back down.
“No, it’s fine. If you want to watch it, we can watch it.” There was something different about his voice, but you couldn’t quite place what. Nodding, you went back to your previous sitting position, Jisung mumbling something you didn’t catch before handing you his phone. “What do you feel like eating?”
The three of you debated over what to eat for a while, mainly because you would suggest something, they would agree and you would go right back to asking them if they were really okay with what you had picked and then you were back to square one. Eventually you actually managed to decide on something, Jisung ordering for all three of you and then focusing on the movie. The three of you sat in silence, enjoying each other’s company. It was about halfway through the movie that the food arrived, Jeongin getting up before Jisung could, opening the door and thanking the delivery person before bringing the food in and shutting the door behind him. He quickly sorted out the food in the kitchen before bringing it all over, handing both you and Jisung yours before sitting down and starting to eat his own, not even bothering to wait or thank Jisung.
Giggling, you quietly thanked Jisung who shrugged it off, saying it wasn’t a big deal as he began to eat. The rest of the night was spent pretty much the same, the three of you watching various movies before Jeongin decided to retire for the night, saying goodnight to both you and Jisung before shutting himself in his room, leaving you and Jisung alone in the living room. Once the movie you were watching was over, Jisung cleared his throat, causing you to look over at him, feeling a little tired, but not trying to show it. Of course, it seemed like Jisung knew even with you trying to hide it, a soft smile on his lips as he slowly stood up. “You can sleep in my bed. I’ll take the couch.” Always the gentleman.
You opened your mouth to argue but he shook his head before you could, “I’m not letting you take the couch. So either you take the bed, or I end up on the floor. If you sleep on the couch I’m sleeping on the floor, so either way I’m not sleeping in my bed. Would you rather me sleep on the couch or the floor?” He didn’t give you much choice, but you knew he wasn’t bluffing. Groaning, you lifted yourself off the couch, ignoring his cheeky laugh as he led you back to his room, turning on the light and showing you where everything was in case you needed it. He then reminded you that he’d be on the couch in the event you needed him for anything, saying goodnight and giving you another hug before leaving his room and shutting the door to give you some privacy.
Everything felt like a daydream up until that point, a sigh leaving your lips now that you were alone in his bedroom. You locked the door so you could change into your nightclothes. After you had done so, you moved to unlock the door, your attention grabbed by an out of place manga just after. You walked over, picking it up and moving to put it back in its place, only for pages to fall out of it, your eyes widening when you thought you had accidentally ruined something of his, only to notice when going to pick them up that they were song lyrics and different ideas for songs. You felt like you were invading his privacy, quickly trying to stuff the pages back into the manga before your eyes fell upon your name. Furrowing your eyebrows, you couldn’t help but look over the page, eyes widening.
There was a knock on the bedroom door and before you could react Jisung was already in the room. “Sorry I forgot that I need to get my clothes-” He stopped once he caught sight of you, clearly in shock with how he simply stood there. You smiled sheepishly, placing the paper you held back into the manga and closing it. “I didn’t mean to look through it. I was going to put it up because I saw that it wasn’t where it was supposed to be and then a bunch of pages fell out.” You tried to explain, Jisung finally moved to take the manga from you, setting it back down on his desk before looking you in the eyes.
“You read it didn’t you?” His voice was calm, but you could tell by how quickly his eyes were scanning your face that he was anxious to hear your answer. Nodding, you bit down on your bottom lip, unsure of what to say or do. Jisung sighed, taking a step back and running a hand through his bleached locks, “God- I didn’t want you to find that… I meant to tell you, like actually tell you. I wanted to send you that song once I had finished it.” He mumbled, his admission making your cheeks heat up a little. So you weren’t reading too much into everything.
Reaching forward, you pulled Jisung into a hug, clearly surprising him as he squeaked in surprise. “Wh-” Before he could even finish his question, you interjected. “I like you too Ji.” It was simple, it was to the point, it was the truth.  You felt Jisung tense in your grip before relaxing completely only seconds later, pulling you closer to him as he let out a breathy chuckle. “So, I don’t need to send you that song?” He questioned, looking down at you as you smiled. “I’d still love to hear it.” Smiling, Jisung leaned down, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I think I’ll finally be able to finish it now.”
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That was how everything had started, and that was what got you here. Laying in your shared bed staring up at the ceiling as the subtle sound of clicking and the drag of a computer mouse filled the room. You weren’t sure how long you had been laying here, but it had been a while. Slowly, you turned your body to the side, seeing your boyfriend's back turned towards you, facing his monitors, headphones over his ears. You weren’t sure when was the last time the two of you had actually spent any time together. In between work and his constant gaming addiction, it seemed you were always left to occupy yourself. When you got back from your job, he was usually asleep, so you’d climb into bed with him and sleep yourself. Almost every time when you would get up, he’d either be gone or sitting at his desk and playing video games. That was when your dislike for video games began.
Today was no different it seemed, a quiet sigh leaving your lips as you reached over to your nightstand, picking up your phone and checking the time. It was late. Though you could have guessed that by how dark the room was, the LEDs on the ceiling the only thing illuminating the room. They had been Jisung’s idea, but you hadn’t objected since you figured it would be both of your living space and he ought to have some things of his own as well. You felt a sinking in your chest as you came to the realization that your fear was more than likely true. You had gone off to work that morning hoping, praying that Jisung would at least remember your birthday. But it seemed he hadn’t, far too engrossed in his video games to even notice you were awake.
Gulping, you pulled yourself off of the mattress, deciding you weren’t going to make a big scene. You left the bedroom in silence, going out to the small living room of the apartment and sitting yourself down on the couch in front of the TV. You could feel tears pricking at your eyes, but you wouldn’t let them fall. Reaching forward, you turned on the TV, figuring a distraction would help keep all of your emotions at bay. That or it would drown out the sound of you crying once you finally broke, knowing it was only a matter of time before that actually became reality. You didn’t even bother to actually pay attention to what you had put on the screen, merely turning up the volume as you pulled your knees up to your chest, lowering your head so you could no longer see.
You weren’t sure where things had gone wrong. Really, nothing had. You and Jisung had been very happy from the beginning, and you had no issues up until you both actually decided to move in together. You thought that living together would have actually made it easier on the both of you, not having to manage your work/life load as much. Trying to date while living two hours away from each other and having jobs on top of that made things harder, but now that you two were actually living in the same apartment, it felt like you actually spent less time with each other. Odd how that worked.
In the moment, you were tempted to just grab your things and leave, overwhelmed with the amount of emotions you were feeling. Anger, sadness, betrayal, loneliness… it was all just piling on. It probably didn’t help that you never expressed how you were feeling, pretending everything was just fine when you knew it wasn’t. You were just never one to create a problem, opting to just suffer than make anyone else uncomfortable or feel bad. The sound of someone knocking on the door had forced any tears that were about to fall back into your tear ducts. You knew Jisung couldn’t hear with his headphones on, so you begrudgingly picked yourself off of the sofa, sulking over to the door and prying it open, looking out with a dead expression up until your eyes met ones you hadn’t seen in months.
“Chan?” You breathed, unable to believe he was actually standing in front of your apartment. When you had moved in with Jisung, you had moved to Incheon in order to not make it hard on him. This had caused you to leave your family and friends behind, including your friend since middle school, Bang Chan. He always had impeccable timing. Beaming, Chan held out a box that held a cake in it, a present in his other hand as he tilted his head sweetly, his curls falling just slightly. “Happy birthday Y/n! Surprised you didn’t I?” He chuckled slightly, watching as you took a step back, a hand over your mouth as you tried to contain yourself.
It seemed to be just enough to send you over the edge however, tears spilling from your eyes before you could stop them, a broken sob leaving your lips as Chan’s happy expression quickly changed to one of concern. “Oh God-'' He didn’t even ask to be let in despite having never visited yours and Jisung’s apartment before, stepping in, he shut the door with his foot. It took him only seconds to find a place to set down the cake and present he held, bending down slightly as he held your arms and tried to look you in the eyes, seemingly searching them for an answer. “Y/n what’s wrong?” He had known you for so long, there was no getting out of this one.
He knew that you never cried in front of anyone unless something was really wrong. That or you had been holding in your emotions for too long. This time it happened to be both. You weren’t able to blame it on being happy to see him, he’d be able to tell you were lying immediately. God why had he decided to visit you now of all times? Sniffling, you tried your best to stop crying, shakily wiping away your tears before Chan wiped the remainder away with his thumb, arching an eyebrow as he awaited an answer.
“I-I just… God…” You fumbled over your words, not exactly sure how to explain what was going through your head to Chan. Of course, it seemed he could sense this, taking your wrist and leading you over to the couch you had previously been curled up on, sitting you both down and smiling softly. “You can take your time Y/n. I’m not gonna rush you. Just tell me what’s going on and why you’re so upset.” He always had to be so understanding and kind. You just weren’t sure if he would be as understanding and kind to your boyfriend after you told him what was bothering you. He had always been overprotective and had even tried to talk you out of moving in with Jisung in the first place.
“O-Okay well, it’s really not that big of a deal. It’s just Jisung and I haven’t been spending much time together lately. I’m just lonely and upset.” You mumbled, watching Chan’s jaw harden at the mention of Jisung, his eyes narrowing and growing dark as he tried to put the pieces together. There were things you weren’t telling him and he knew it. “Is he busy with work?” He questioned, your heart clenching. Chan really was just going to get to the root of the issue wasn’t he?
“He is sometimes…” You trailed off, nibbling on your bottom lip as you avoided Chan’s gaze. You hated it when he got angry. It was rare for him to do so, but when he did, he was terrifying. “What about other times?” His voice was cool and even, showing no signs of anger, but you knew better. You knew he was probably itching to get his hands on Jisung and in your mind you were wondering whether letting him in was a good idea.
“Well… when he gets back from work he usually sleeps or plays his games. When I get back from work he’s either at his job, sleeping or gaming. I mean, gaming is his form of stress relief so… I get it. It used to be mine so I can’t really be upset with him for that. I can’t be mad at him for sleeping or going to work either. It’s not that big of a deal.” You were making excuses for him and you knew it. But you didn’t want Chan to lose his cool. The thought was more scary than spending your birthday alone. “So he’s choosing video games over you.” Chan stated bluntly, anger creeping into his voice.
Slowly, you decided to look at him, only to see he wasn’t even looking at you now, but rather around the apartment, one of his fists clenched as he tapped his foot against the hardwood floor. You didn’t respond to his statement, so it was only a few moments before he looked you in the eyes, giving you a look that told you to correct him if he was wrong. You searched your mind for something, anything, but you came up with nothing, gulping as you slowly lowered your head, sighing shakily. “I-I guess.” You whispered, feeling your body grow cold as you admitted it to yourself aloud. Chan cleared his throat, nodding as he looked around the apartment once again. “Is he at work right now?” The silence that filled the apartment was his only indication of that, but when you looked around, unsure, he could tell that he was wrong in his assumption.
“He’s here right now isn’t he?” He scoffed, the anger he had been holding back making a swift appearance as he got to his feet. Eyes widening, you quickly grabbed onto your friend's arm, knowing he could easily overpower you and do what he wanted, but he wouldn’t. He may know you like the back of his hand, but you knew him just as well. “Chan please. Don’t make this a big thing. I’m already upset and things getting out of hand is only going to make it worse.”
“Y/n-” Chan started, looking back at you, anger fading as he looked into your eyes, knowing that ultimately he was going to do whatever it was you asked of him. “Can I just talk to him? You and I both know that you don’t deserve to be treated like this.” He bargained, only causing you to shake your head in disagreement. “You know for a fact that you won’t be able to hold yourself back if you ‘just talk to him’.” You gave him a knowing look and he simply huffed, averting his gaze. He knew you were right.
“You brought cake right? How about we just have that and hang out? That’d make me feel better.” Chan’s tension had eased slightly at your request, taking a deep breath as he nodded, deciding he was simply going to appease you since it was your birthday after all. Getting off of the couch, Chan grabbed the cake and present he had set down in a hurry, going into the kitchen and setting it down once again. You followed shortly after him, looking over as he opened the box, a soft smile gracing your lips. He had remembered your favorite color. “It’s very pretty.” You praised. Chan clicked his tongue as he opened a pack of candles, starting to place them on the top of the cake. “Of course it is, I picked it out.” He teased, causing you to roll your eyes and smack his arm. “God you’re annoying.”
Snickering he shrugged his shoulders, pulling a lighter out of his pocket and carefully lighting the candles. “Yet you still miss me. Crazy how that works.” Looks like you two were right back to how you had always been. He wasn’t wrong though, you had really missed him. Being pulled away from everything you knew just for Jisung had been hard, but it had been something you were willing to do for your relationship. One you weren’t even sure was there anymore. Pulling you from your thoughts, Chan started singing. His voice had always been amazing. After he had finished, you blew out the candles, Chan grinning and ruffling your hair before pulling out the candles and starting to search the kitchen for something to cut the cake with. “So, what did you wish for?”
He always asked that question. Every single birthday of yours without fail. You always responded with the same thing. “You know I can’t tell you that. If I tell you it won’t come true.” Laughing, Chan shook his head, amazed that you still stuck by that. “You actually think that matters?” He questioned, earning a nod from you as you opened the drawer that held your kitchen utensils, pulling out a knife and handing it to Chan who thanked you before getting to work on cutting the cake. “Have any of your wishes come true that you haven’t told anyone about?” He pondered, the question making you think back on your previous birthday wishes.
“Mmm, there have been a few actually.” Chan gave you a questioning look, pausing as he did so. “Like what? Since they’ve already happened you should be able to tell me right?” You considered it before figuring that he was probably right, pulling out two plates and forks before sitting yourself down on one of the barstools that were placed along the island in the kitchen. “For my sixteenth birthday I wished for a skateboard and I ended up getting it that day.” You stated, Chan smirking as he continued to cut the cake, shaking his head.
“Maybe because you had been bugging your parents for it for a whole year. Only to never use it despite me telling you I’d teach you how to ride it.” He added in the last part just to chastise you, placing a piece of cake on a plate before handing it to you along with a fork. “I highly doubt that had anything to do with your wish.” You rolled your eyes as you took a bite of cake, humming quietly. He had remembered your favorite flavor of cake too. Of course he had.
“You don’t have to hate on me for believing in birthday wishes just because you don’t Chan. I get it, you’re too grown up to believe in something silly and childish like birthday wishes.” You could tell he got slightly irked by your words, scoffing as he got himself a piece of cake. “That’s not even it-”
“Then what is it?” You cut him off before he could finish, tilting your head slightly as you stared at him. Chan slowly took a bite of cake, looking you in the eyes, considering his next words carefully. “None of my birthday wishes ever came true. So I stopped believing in things like that. I think it’s endearing that you still do though.” He admitted, causing you to frown. “None of them? Not one?” You questioned, Chan seeming to think back on it as he stood there in silence, looking down at the cake. “Mm, I guess there was one that came true?” He sounded unsure, but you leaned forward in your seat, smiling as you waited for him to elaborate.
“I think it was my eighth birthday? The memory is kind of foggy, but I remember wishing for another sibling. It’s kind of dumb now that I think about it, but it did come true.” He shrugged, looking back up at you as you giggled while taking another bite of cake. “I’d say that’s a pretty big wish. The stars probably just figured that wish was enough for a while.” Chan rolled his eyes, snickering as he shook his head. “Yeah sure, whatever you say Y/n.”
The two of you enjoyed each other’s presence for a while, seeming to forget about the issue at hand which was exactly what you had been wanting. Not wanting to confront it or make a big deal out of anything. Chan was helping you ignore your problems and you were more than grateful, the male stating that he wanted to watch you open the present he had got you, so you both moved from the kitchen to the living room, the TV still playing whatever it was you had put on. Gingerly, Chan set the present on your lap, waiting patiently for you to open it.
You had always gotten nervous when it came to opening gifts. You were never a fan of surprises and presents were just wrapped surprises. Slowly, you pulled the tissue paper out of the bag, peeking inside. Your eyes widened once you realized what it was he had gotten you, gasping as you practically ripped it out of the bag, looking it over with wide eyes. “Oh my god- This is so expensive Chan. You really shouldn’t have.” You pried your eyes from the present to meet his gaze, seeing just how happy he was with your reaction to the gift. “I knew you’d like it. I’m sure you’ve been eyeing it for a while now. You always do that with the new lines.” He stated, making you nod in agreement.
“I actually had this in my cart for when I could afford it. It still scares me how well you know me. I never even told you about the new line.” Chan simply shrugged, acting as if it was no big deal. “What can I say, I’m just that good.” He chuckled, already leaning back as you reached forward to smack him.
For a few hours the two of you just sat and talked, not even realizing just how late it was getting. The two of you were making up for lost time, only able to talk over the phone or text, sometimes video call depending on just how busy the two of you were. Life as a producer was busy, that was also part of the reason you were so surprised he had shown up at your front door. It was the last thing you had been expecting. Just like you hadn’t been expecting Jisung to leave your bedroom. It seemed he and Chan had noticed each other’s presence before you had even noticed Jisung, standing silently in the hallway as he looked between the two of you. You immediately turned your gaze to Chan, seeing the look that was on his face before had returned. That wasn’t good.
“Who is that-?” Jisung finally spoke, looking at you with confusion and slight fear. It was then you remembered that Jisung and Chan had never officially met, your eyes widening as you motioned over to your childhood friend. “Chan. Bang Chan. I’ve told you about him, remember? My best friend since middle school.” You explained, Jisung’s expression growing more relaxed as he slowly nodded, remembering discussing him before. “Ah, yeah. We’ve never met before.” Jisung smiled, making his way over to the couch and holding out his hand.
Chan stared at it for a moment before deciding not to be a total ass. He took his hand and shook it, gripping it tightly before paying Jisung a sickeningly sweet smile. “No we haven’t. I’m sorry for not telling you before coming over but I thought I’d surprise Y/n for her birthday.” There it was. You had been expecting him to say something, but you hadn’t been expecting him to say it right out of the gate like that. Confusion was written on Jisung’s face for a moment before his eyes widened in realization, his gaze quickly flitting to yours. “O-Oh…” It seemed he finally understood the tension coming from Chan.
Slowly you lowered your gaze, fiddling with the present Chan had gotten you. Jisung took a moment to look at it before looking to the kitchen, seeing the cake sitting on the counter. “Y/n… I’m… I-I didn’t realize…” He stammered, unsure of what to say or do. After all, there wasn’t much he could do now. “It’s fine.” You mumbled out, forcing a smile as you looked up at him, hating to see just how upset and guilty he looked. Chan on the other hand, wasn’t having it.
“Look, I know it’s our first time meeting and Y/n told me not to make a scene, so I won’t. However, it’s not fine. You should know Y/n well enough to know that she doesn’t like to voice what’s upsetting her. You may be busy with work, or stressed, or whatever, but you ignoring her for your video games is something that shouldn’t be happening. Forgetting her birthday? Don’t you think that’s a little much? Do you see the problem? Y/n shouldn’t have to beg you for attention. You should be paying attention to your girlfriend regardless of what your work life is like and if you can’t handle that, you shouldn’t be stringing her along. She doesn’t deserve that and you know it.” His words were harsh and to the point, but he got across what he wanted to. Jisung gulped, biting on his lower lip as he rubbed the back of his neck.
“You’re right.” Jisung mumbled, hanging his head. “I’ve gotten so absorbed in gaming because of stress from work, but that’s not an excuse. I should have been paying more attention to Y/n, so much more attention. I-I honestly can’t believe I forgot her birthday. I didn’t even realize just how bad I was getting… I just…” He sighed, stopping himself as he turned from Chan to look at you, taking a few steps closer before bending down slightly to look you in the eyes. “I’m so sorry Y/n. Really I am. I don’t have any excuses. How I’ve been treating you is wrong and I realize that. I promise I’ll change.” He spoke softly, searching your eyes as he apologized.
You could tell he was being genuine, seeing tears pricking at his eyes as he spoke to you. “You’d better or I’ll come right back here and take her home with me.” Chan muttered, causing you to roll your eyes at him. “Chan-” You chided, earning a sigh from him as he stood up, placing his hands in the air as a sign of defeat as he made his way into the kitchen. “Sorry, I’ll give you guys a minute.” It was clear he didn’t want to, but he would do it for you.
Sighing quietly once Chan had left the room, you looked to Jisung and patted the part of the couch Chan had just been sitting on, waiting for Jisung to take his place before sitting crisscrossed and facing him. “Ji… I’m not gonna lie and say I’m not upset. I am. I’m really upset. I had honestly thought that you would pull through and remember my birthday but you didn’t. It honestly felt like a stab to the heart. However, I’m also not going to say you’re completely at fault since I haven’t been honest and voiced how I was feeling to you. Keeping quiet and just letting things get worse was my own doing and I’m sorry I didn’t communicate with you.” You mumbled, Jisung furrowing his eyebrows and shaking his head as he reached forward, taking hold of both of your hands. “Hey, no. You’re not taking the blame for this. You shouldn’t be apologizing to me when you haven’t done anything wrong. You never once forgot anything important to me and I forgot your birthday. That’s huge and I’m gonna be apologizing for it forever. I should have realized what I was doing to you. That was my fault not yours, okay?”
You frowned, getting ready to disagree. “I’m not budging on this one. You have no reason to be apologizing to me. You know I’m right.” You didn’t, but you weren’t going to argue with him. Once Jisung saw you were done trying to blame yourself, he sighed, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your forehead, the memory of the day you had first met in person coming back to you. “I’m really really sorry and I’m gonna make it up to you somehow, I promise.” You hummed, closing your eyes as Jisung pulled you into his chest. This was more contact than you had with him over the past few months.
“You’re making a lot of promises tonight Han Jisung.” You mumbled, wrapping your arms around him and looking up as he nodded in agreement. “I know, but I plan to keep them. I’m going to change and I’m going to make it up to you.” Smiling faintly, you hummed again, not wanting to say anything else as you rested against your boyfriend's chest, closing your eyes as you allowed yourself to relish in his presence. You hadn’t fully forgiven him, you were sure he knew that as well, but you were just glad the biggest thing was out of the way and you wouldn’t have to tiptoe around the issue anymore. The rest of it would be him regaining your trust and fulfilling his promises. “Happy birthday baby.” A quiet mumble left Jisung’s lips as he kissed the top of your head, earning a smile from you.
“Technically her birthday has already passed. It’s nearly two in the morning.” Chan suddenly cut in, causing both you and Jisung to turn and look at him, you with a glare and Jisung with a questioning gaze. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I see you two have made up for the most part so uh, seeing as I traveled two hours to get here, you both mind if I crash on the couch?” You opened your mouth to speak, but Jisung beat you to it. “Sure, it actually pulls out into a bed since my old roommate comes over sometimes and crashes. I can set it up for you.” His sudden agreement surprised you, but you decided not to question it, Chan nodding as he motioned towards the door.
“Cool. My stuff’s in my car so I’ll be back.” He then left without another word, Jisung watching him go before looking back at you. “Am I sleeping on the floor then?” He questioned, causing you to roll your eyes. “Ji, when have I ever made you sleep on the couch or anything like that?”
He smiled faintly, shrugging his shoulders as he lifted himself off the couch before helping you up. “Well technically the first day we met.” Shaking your head you went to the kitchen, putting the cake and everything else away as Jisung moved things around in the living room before pulling the couch out into a bed. “You were the one that didn’t let me sleep on the couch. I was going to, but you forced me to sleep on your bed.” As Jisung was fixing the pillows, Chan walked back into the apartment, this time locking the door behind him. He set his things down by the couch, giving Jisung a sideways look when their eyes met. “What-?” Jisung trailed off, looking down at the bed before looking back up at Chan.
“Blankets?” Jisung’s eyes widened. “Oh. Oh yeah right, sorry.” He swiftly turned and walked down the hall towards the small closet that held clean blankets and pillows they kept aside. From the kitchen, you gave Chan a look that told him to knock it off, the male deciding to act like he had no idea what you were looking at him like that for. Jisung returned with blankets in hand, setting them down on the bed. “There, is this enough?” He questioned, Chan looking them over for a moment before simply nodding. “Yeah, that’s fine.” No thank you, no ounce of appreciation in his voice.
Jisung cleared his throat, nodding slowly before turning around and making his way into the kitchen where you were cleaning up and telling you that he’d do it. It took a bit of convincing, but eventually he had kicked you out of the kitchen, finishing up by himself. You huffed as you went over to Chan who was fixing his bed for the night. “You know you don’t have to be such an ass to him. He apologized.” You mumbled, keeping your voice quiet so Jisung didn’t hear. Chan sighed, straightening out the blankets before grabbing his bag and setting it on the bed, looking through his things. “I’m still pissed at him. He’s lucky I didn’t beat him into the ground. The only reason I didn’t is because you told me not to.”
“And I appreciate that, but he is still my boyfriend and I would like for you two to get along. I don’t want to have to play mediator any time you two are around each other.” There was silence for a moment before Chan sighed, nodding in agreement. “Fine. I’ll tone it down.” Smiling, you gave him a small hug, “Thank you.” You peeped, him only groaning in acknowledgement.
“Where’s your bathroom so I can change?” You showed him to the bathroom before starting back down the hall towards the kitchen, only to meet Jisung halfway, him holding your gift from Chan in his arm, folded nicely. He lifted it, smiling sheepishly. “He’s really good with gifts huh? I know you’ve been eyeing this thing since the new line came out.” You were genuinely surprised he had known that since he had been so preoccupied the last few months. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he seemed to notice. “You leave your tabs open a lot on your laptop. When I wake up for work you usually leave it out, so I noticed that you were looking at it fairly often.” He explained, your eyes widening slightly. “Oh… I didn’t even realize.” You half-whispered, Jisung chuckling quietly.
“I’ll go put this up.” He smiled before brushing past you and into your room. Chan left the bathroom only moments after, changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants much like Jisung had been wearing as long as you’d been awake. “You should sleep. It’s late.” He spoke, causing you to nod before watching him make his way down the hall towards the living room. “Are you going to sleep?” You asked, knowing that he had issues sleeping, always had.
“I’m gonna try, but don’t let me keep you up. I’ll be fine out here, I’m a grown man you know.” He teased, earning a quiet laugh from you. “Okay, well thank you for everything tonight Chan. I really appreciate it.” Turning, he smiled, his signature dimple smile. “No need to thank me. I just expect you to travel two hours for my birthday now. I’ve set the bar high.”
Your playful banter went on for a while longer before you both said goodnight and you retired to your shared room with Jisung. Stepping inside you shut the door behind you, immediately noticing Jisung busy unplugging all of his gaming stuff. Your eyes widened, “Ji- This isn’t… I didn’t mean you had to-” You couldn’t even form words, Jisung turning to look back at you. “I know. I just think it would be best for me to stop completely for now. Get things back in order before I even think about introducing this back into my life. It got way out of hand and I don’t want that to happen again. So I’m prioritizing.”
“B-But that’s… don’t you think it’s too much?” Your voice was quiet, unsure as Jisung shook his head, unplugging one final cord and picking himself up off of the floor, dusting himself off. “No. Considering I’ve put you on the side burner for months now, I think it’s more than enough. Gaming will always be there, but I don’t want to lose you because of it.” Shifting uncomfortably, you picked at your fingers, unsure about the whole thing. Jisung walked over, pulling you into his arms and resting his head on top of yours. “I’m sure about this okay? So don’t worry about it.”
“Okay…” You trailed off, deciding that if it was Jisung’s decision, you didn’t have any reason to argue with him. “Okay. Well, how about we go to sleep, and since you’re off tomorrow, I can take tomorrow off, probably call in sick-- and we can go do something, just me and you? There’s a fashion show downtown I believe. You can wear your new present from Chan and you’ll be the best dressed person, along with the best looking. Then we can go out to eat, or before. Whatever you wanna do baby.” Smiling you relaxed in his grasp, “That sounds great Ji.”
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stetervault · 3 years
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Hiii! Been delving into Steter now, in the year of our lord 2021, even though I never really did when I was active in the fandom years ago and I was wondering if you'd have some longfic recs for the ship? Like, fics that are Classics(TM)? But happy endings! And I'm not super into those in which Stiles is still underage 😬 do u have any recs? Thanks!
Welcome to the Steter fandom! I definitely have some long fics to rec, some of them are super old lol, and I'll stick to ones around 20k or over, and most of them are finished. And hmm, considering the ship, and a lot of fics like to start off in season 1 where Stiles is still technically a teenager, I'll try to limit these to ones with Stiles being at least 16/17 before anything starts happening, and only 18+ if there's explicit content. I hope that's okay.
drowning in the sea of you by Corpium
Beacon Hills was perfect for Stiles growing up, but now, with werewolves, hunters, and an anxious best friend running around, it's turning into a place too chaotic for an empath like Stiles to handle alone. And pain killers can only go so far.
Wake Me Up by ToAStranger
Stiles has been in a coma for six years. Now he's awake.
Tremors by Corpium
(Stiles has a taste for him now. All Peter needs to do is wait.)
Surviving Peter and the Zombie Apocalypse by Nopennamesleft
Its the end of the world and Stiles has run out of luck. He saves a werewolf from certain death. Will they begin to rely on each other to survive or will the wolf just eat Stiles for a midnight snack?
Bite Down by EclipseWing
In which Stiles is forced to survive the zombie apocalypse with a sociopathic murdering werewolf for company.
as you are by veterization
Stiles runs straight into a tree and suddenly, things are... different. Namely, he's in a world where Peter Hale is his boyfriend.
Call My Name by KouriArashi
After moving to Beacon Hills, Stiles starts having recurring dreams of a man in some kind of prison, who needs his help. Things get so bad that he ends up in Eichen House, where he finds out that the man is real.
Devil of Mercy by KouriArashi
Peter's heard people talk about what it felt like when they saw their mate for the first time, from those who actually believe in the mystical bullshit. Like a magnet, like gravity. Peter just feels... sharply curious.
Whiskey is My Kind of Lullaby by taylorpotato
Peter is a simple saloon owner on one of the outer planets between the Aaru Belt and the Olympus Galaxy. He’s done with trouble. Done with adventure. So fucking done with rustlers. That is, until a cute young outlaw named Stiles wanders into his bar. Peter has this problem where he can’t seem to resist charming narcissists (perhaps because they remind him of himself). And when said narcissists turn his life upside-down, the worst part is he’s not even that upset about it.
Proposing To Strangers by moonstalker24
At the end of a strained relationship, crime novelist Stiles chooses to hide from the world inside a bar with far too many motorcycles outside it for comfort. Here he'll meet the man of his dreams, eat food and propose marriage, all within the first five minutes.
Peter doesn't know who this kid is, but he's cute and looks like he could use a break. So he feeds him. He's not expecting a marriage proposal, but with what comes after, he doesn't really mind.
Stiles Stilinski, Disaster Chef by Guede
The zombie apocalypse forces Stiles to learn how to cook.
The Will by Guede
We are gathered here today for the reading of Gerard Argent’s will.
On the Importance of Lunar Influences in Gardening by Guede
“Oh, it’s you again,” Stiles sighs. He puts down his basket and drops the bunch of onions into it, and then dusts off his hands. “Can’t you get your own strawberries? I mean, I have it on good authority that wild strawberries? They’re a thing. They exist. They’re out there.”
“But Stiles,” says the werewolf dangling by one foot from the tree, sticky red smears around his mouth and all over his fingers. “Your berries are so juicy, so ripe. Those ones in the woods are mere passing indulgences compared to the royal feast you have in your garden.”
Genii loci Stiles and his father run a community garden, and it’s all good, except for the werewolf who keeps sneaking over the fence to raid Stiles’ strawberry patch (and the hunter who’s constantly hanging around his father).
Runes and all kinds of things by FeelingsDusk (WIP)
Enough is enough. Stiles is tired of being always a last choice when he always tries to do his best for his precious people, so they better get their act together or face being left behind.
OR
The things in the Argent's basement get nearly fatal, the Sheriff finds about the supernatural, Allison can have a wicked, wicked mind and Peter Hale appears to be everywhere.
Oh, and Stiles can't seem to stop breaking the laws of physics with his magic.
Sanctuary by DiscontentedWinter
The Hale Wolf Sanctuary isn’t just for wolves.
It turns out it’s for Stilinskis as well.
Out Of The East, Never See The Sun Rise by neglectedtuesday
In the beginning, there are three absolutes.
One. Stiles is a god, forged of starlight and collapsing galaxies and he is eternal.
Two. Peter is human, fragile bone and viscous blood and he is temporary.
Three. Stiles and Peter are in love; love that claws its way inside one’s heart like fish hooks; all encompassing love that is beautiful but dangerous.
Stiles is a god. Peter is human. They love each other.
Three absolutes.
You Had Me at Canapes by LadyArinn
Stiles doesn't mean to sneak into the Hale wedding, and he certainly doesn't mean to have cliche coat-room sex with the bride's uncle, but what had happened, happened, and it wasn't like he could just leave. At least, not until he got to have some of that cake.
Infinite Space by DiscontentedWinter
Stiles needs Peter's expertise to help stop the latest threat to Beacon Hills. And, as the pack falls apart around him, he might even need Peter for more than that.
Hook, Yarn, Sinker by pprfaith
Stiles is happy with his store, his hobbies, his friends. Peter's just trying to figure out how to raise his nieces and nephew without fucking them up too badly.
Paths cross.
Open Wounds by Guede
Talia got out of the fire with Peter, but everyone else died. Years later, they’re still struggling with injuries, but they’ve at least settled in with oddball werewolf Stiles. And then other werewolves start showing up. Familiar ones.
Bittersweet Creek by Guede
When Stiles finally steps off the westward trail to California, he’s the last of his pack. He starts building a den, but then he finds a dying man next to a burnt-down house and it turns out he’s not really much of a settler, after all.
For Great Justice! by Green
Stiles is a vengeance demon, drawn to Peter just as he's waking from his catatonia.
"Whoever did this? We will make those fuckers suffer. I promise you."
Bone Deep by ShippersList
A body in the woods, a mate, and a long-awaited revenge.
Peter had no idea how his life would change when he followed the strange pull in his chest.
Love What is Behind You by KouriArashi
Basically what it says on the label. Hunger Games type fusion. Stiles doing way better than anyone anticipates. Peter finds him intriguing. Ruthless, devious assholes working together to ruin bad guys, as the Steter ship is meant to be.
Soothing the Burn by Therapeutic_Steter (WIP)
Peter is burnt out and breaking down. Stiles notices and offers him solace, along with the one thing he wants most: Pack.
Til Death by Bunnywest
“How long do we have to find him someone?” Stiles asks. “Two weeks,” says Derek, eyebrows pulling down even further. The fierceness of his expression tells Stiles just how concerned he is. “He marries, or he goes to the camps. And you know what your father told us,” Scott reminds her. The camps……aren’t camps. Peter either finds a wife, or he dies.
Ink Blossoms by Triangulum
"So, you're going to ruin your niece's baby shower with flowers in the wrong color?" the florist, Stiles, asks when they reach the counter. He pulls out a binder and starts flipping through it.
"Not ruin. Mildly inconvenience," Peter says.
"Right, messing with a hormonal pregnant woman seems like a great plan."
"To be fair, her fiance and the father of her baby is my ex-boyfriend," Peter says. "And we weren't broken up when they started 'dating'."
Stiles looks up at him in surprise. "And you're still getting her flowers?" he asks.
"It's under duress, I assure you," Peter says. He absolutely wouldn't be here if his alpha hadn't ordered it.
"Well, shit, yeah, let's get you some purple revenge flowers," Stiles says.
After You by FlyAwayMeow (rjaejoo)
It’s true that sometimes what you want the most, you can’t have and that you’ll miss what you once had all along when it’s finally gone.
After breaking his engagement to Chris, Peter heads to New York to start over. He meets Stiles, a young author at his publishing house who helps him piece his confidence back together. When tragedy strikes, he discovers how to finally let go of his past and have the family and future he's always wanted with the pieces already in his life.
love me lights out by veterization
Stiles and Peter get snowed in together. (Or: what happens when you accept phone calls from people you haven't spoken to in over five years.)
Uncle Peter Doesn't Date by Mellow (SweetCandy) (WIP)
“Oh don’t lie, you love it.” Peter purred and winked at his newest arm candy, who spluttered for a few seconds, before blushing like a 16 year old virgin. Considering how young he looked Laura wouldn’t be surprised if he was actually 16. “Shut up Peter!” Bambi squeaked, still flushing and averting Laura’s eyes. “Well, anyways, I’m,” ‘Bambi’. “Stiles. Stiles Stilinski, pleasure to meet you- again.” Stiles smiled sheepishly, obviously nervous. Stiles Stilinski. Definitely a stripper then.
-
Or: Laura was prepared for whatever piece of armcandy her uncle had decided to show up with, what she hadn't been prepared for was Stiles Stilinski...her uncle's boyfriend.
Under the Songbird’s Wing by mia6363
Captivity easily destroys the will of escape. It can break the fiercest of animal. It can strip the most regal man and woman down to nothing but animal needs.
Captivity can, if met with unwavering determination, shape a person into something unimaginable.
Stiles is sixteen when he's captured. Stiles's first thought is, "I won't die here."
Baby Whisperer by twothumbsandnostakeincanon (somanyofthekids)
“What. Is that.”
Scott looked up at him, apprehensive.
“Her name’s Lily.”
Stiles stared at the fuzzy head peeking out of the papoose.
“Her. Her name. That is a real live human baby. Oh my God-”
“Actually I don’t know if she’s human?” Scott said with a confused frown. “Becca didn’t say.”
“Who the fuck is Becca?!”
Sacrificial Lamb by Bunnywest
The Alpha has a scruffy beard, unkempt hair and dazzling blue eyes. The scar on his face is raised, running down his cheek like a twisting, gnarled rope. Stiles knows that it came from the blade of Kate Argent herself, and that the Alpha got it fighting in the battle where Kate killed his lover, cutting his head clean from his neck, if the stories are to be believed.
The Alpha lets Stiles look his fill, before indicating that Stiles should take the other couch, and Stiles does so, his father’s words echoing in his ears. He can do this, can be pleasant and amenable. The lives of his people may depend on it. The Alpha spends long moments surveying him, before saying, “I like you, Stiles.”
You don’t know me, Stiles wants to blurt out, but he bites his tongue.
The Various Triumphs of Mischief Bilinski by Whispering_Sumire (WIP)
"Hello, Chris," sings a honeyed voice from behind.
Chris' attention snaps toward the intruder, his gun already out of its' holster and aimed at whoever it is — a boy, apparently, with braided russet hair, a red jacket, and wise eyes. He's wearing a gas mask, but Chris can tell by the way his eyes crinkle around the edges, the way sun-burnt sand swirls in his irises, that he's smiling.
Chris cocks his gun.
"You killed my father," he says.
"No offence, but he totally deserved it," the stranger agrees with cheerful solemnity.
"What the hell are you doing in my home?" Chris demands. The kid is perched on a windowsill in Chris' office, as nonchalantly as if this were something he did every day, as if they were familiar.
"I was just wondering," the kid speaks softly, fond amusement sewn through with a peculiar resignation, "how you'd feel about putting down some nazis?"
[Or: The one where Stiles goes back in time and subsequently fucks with everything.]
A Curious Magic by Triangulum
Overall, Stiles is very well-known in the supernatural community. It’d be hard not to be, not with how his reputation has grown like wildfire. He knows and is on good terms with nearly all the fae that reside in the preserve, the asrai that live deep in the lake, the Ito pack, the vampire couple that lives over in Beacon Valley (they buy an ethically-sourced food supply from Stiles), as well as almost every other supernatural entity in the area. But Talia Hale doesn’t like him, and a werewolf pack tends to do what their alpha tells them to.
So it’s a definite surprise when the wards at the edge of his property trip, the tingling down his spine telling him it’s a werewolf, the lack of burning sensation letting him know there’s no hostile intent. Stiles, in his office in the second floor turret, sets down the amulet he’s packing up for Marin and moves to the large window overlooking the front of his property. He’s expecting to see an Ito packmember, even though they nearly always call in advance, and is surprised to see a man that he recognizes as Talia’s brother, Peter.
Light in the Dark by cywscross
It still surprises Stiles sometimes, how easily he’s adapted. Seven months in a world filled with train tracks and soul-sucking fae, and it feels like he’s never known anything else.
~~
Or, the one where diverting the Ghost Riders from Beacon Hills to prey on a different town only succeeded in setting them free.
Vengeance Looks Good On You, Sweetheart by cywscross
Just because Scott refuses to see the Argents for what they truly are - prejudiced serial killers sitting proudly on a mountain of innocent corpses - doesn't mean Stiles will. It's about time someone did something about the Argent Empire anyway, and what a coincidence - summer vacation is just around the corner.
--
Or, the one where Gerard Argent kidnapped the wrong fucking person to torture. Stiles has never subscribed to the policy of forgiving and forgetting anyway, not when razing the problem to the ground and salting the earth for good measure has always been a far better solution in the long run.
He doesn't expect to have company.
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kaypeace21 · 3 years
Text
"Rebel robin" easterggs
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- Robin's friend is a horror movie fan whos fav movie is evil dead (jonathan has a poster of it in his room)
- Robin's parent's car is the " dodge dart" a ref to Dustin's demodog-dart
-robin and her friends make analogies to zombies (like Will- the zombie boy).
- robin faints. And her friend milton says "blink once for yes twice for no". A ref to what Joyce said to Will in s1.
- robin's other friend has a little sister named el-ie who pretends to be a squirrel. A ref to el killing a squirrel in s2. This is also reminiscent of a scene from the st prequel novel ' suspicious minds' where young-kali pretended to be a tiger (the Hawkins school mascot) & a rabbit (Jonathan's hunting story).
- robin reminds me alot of the byers: she is into photography and rock like jonathan and even worked at the movie theatre like jonathan did in the og pilot. They both like David bowie and cook for their families. She also is poor and wears hand-me down clothes from relatives (like Will). She also is into existential philosophers. Which is also similar to jonathan who had a poster of the poet rimbaud in his room.
- robin is almost run over by a car by a bully while riding her bike: similar to Mike, Dustin, and Lucas in s2
- robin says the best accessory for a girl is her middle finger. Cue max giving the middle finger to billy in s2 XD
- robin (before Will dissapears) sees the quarry and gets uncomfortable and thinks of metaphorical monsters
- similar to how billy had baseball references (along with Will). Robin wears a baseball shirt
- her fav flavor of pie is cherry (like alexi and cherry slurpies). She also gets pissed at a guy sipping a cherry flavored drink- similar to hopper in s3 with alexi
- she cuts her hair and she describes it as looking like a lion. El and Will owned lion plushies in s1.
- robin refs Chicago (kali lives there) and NYC (hopper used to live there), and California (where max and billy used to live).
-tammy's fav song is total eclipse of the heart: the song Robin and Steve sang in s3. Tammy would often sing the song in robin and Steve's class.
- they make references to the hellfire club: she describes a time where she dresses like a cross between a nerd and a rebel. And a mom yells at her appearance saying she looks "goddless' . And another of Robin's friend (kate) is told ' what demon is possessing you, kate?" (hinting at the satanic panic). Meanwhile someone describes Mike and his friends as "hellions' as another hint to this. We also see how alot of parents got paranoid and a bit crazy when Will and barb dissappeared- prob foreshadowing the chaos that will happen if more kids dissappear in s4. Along with the satanic panic
-Robin is visiting her friend Kate at her house. Kate wanted to listen to Madonna together. Max and el listened to Madonna at el's.
- Robin's friend (kate) says "I dumped his ass" in reference to her cheating bf. A little nod to the m*leven breakup
- robin (like Will) felt excluded during the summer cause her friends kate and dash (Kate's now ex bf) were always making out . Sound familiar- cough m*leven
- robin annoyed says " makeouts, breakups and declarations of love all in the span of a week". Wow if that ain't a diss to certain pairing we know in s3 XD
- kate (like mike) says to Robin dating the opposite sex is a part of growing up . Which scares Robin (and Will in s3).
- robin has a nightmare of running down the school hallway with short hair (like el in s2 via the upsidedown)
- robin contemplates shaving her head (like el)
- robin says she likes to sometimes dress androgynous . And found a cool suit. Which we saw in s4 bts pics I assume.
- robin watches a music video where there are duplicate indianna joneses (could be a ref to all the billy duplicates in s3?)
- robin says " I stare at the ceiling. The ceiling stares back. I'm stuck and don't know what to do" a ref to the s3 song with robin called "the ceiling is beautiful"
- a character named Sheena reminds me a bit of Will or el . She is very quiet, queercoded, and is often bullied. And she finds mean notes and other things in her locker- placed there by bullies. A bit like how Will found the zombieboy note in his locker. But sheena can be another name for Jane so ...maybe foreshadowing of el/jane being bullied in highscool?
- when robin hears a hom*phobic comment on tv- she describes the anxiety like a ' thundercloud in a big open sky' and a "chill". Which reminds me of the mf being associated with clouds, thunder, and lightning. And the mf liking it cold.
- robin constantly describes the monster or shadow in her life- whether it be her talking about conformity or the problems of consumerism while she is poor (themes of s3).
- robin before realizing she was gay/crushing on tammy just says " I don't get crushes' which reminds me a bit of Will saying " I'm not going to fall in love" (as the lyrics are " love thats new to you, you open up the door')
-robin on her bike hears something (demogorgan) and runs back to her house , locks the door, and calls her friend- and the phone gets electrocuted. The next day Will is said to be missing. (Another Will paralllel).
- i was right about robin being in theatre. So we most likely will see robin in theatre in s4 (she also auditioned with a friend in the book). So for s4 my guess is she may be in the drama club with dustin- cause in s1 he had a drama shirt
- one of her friends is named milton. Since the documentary 'paradise lost' was on the s4 movie list. Its prob a ref to John milton who wrote the fictional 'paradise lost'. The character Sheena may be a ref to the 80s film/movies *where sheena (jane) was psychic
-Robin's gal pal (kate) and Robin eat m&ms and candies together. Kate jokes m&ms and candy bars are 'foods of the gods'. El ate m&ms in s3. They joke how talking about plural gods (instead of 1) would get them in trouble. In case you are unaware- kali (is the name of a Hindu goddess) and el (is the name of a cannanite god) .
-Robin also mentions hopper's car smells like eggos.
- robin tries running away (like el in s2, max in her novel, and jonathan also wrongfully assumed Will ranaway in s1 too).
-robin tries to get a job at Joyce's, than Bob's, and later gets a job where jonathan used to work
-bob newby describes the byers family as his "home" . Similar to how El describes the Hawkins gang as "home".
- robin says she was friends with barb before nancy. Suspiciously right after she says this- barb grabs Robin's hallpass that says ' glitch in the time space continuim. " the teacher who wrote this called robin a "glitch". Which makes me wonder if my did theory is right- but ...that certain powers at be may also alter memories or things so people assume said people have always been around.Mentioning it cause it seemed suspicious.
-not an eastegg but robin can't believe how nice Bob is. And Bob says the byers filled a hole in his life 😭 . She also felt an instant connection with Will and saw alot of herself in him.And asked if Joyce ever thought of moving like everyone suggested . One of the reasons Robin didn't like steve was because Steve never mentioned how Jonathan took innapropriate photos of Nancy. So everyone at school just knew jonathan as the quiet kid who takes pictures. So to everyone it just seemed like- wow you're bullying the quiet kid who's brother is missing and take away the one thing still left in his life that makes him happy. Which is why everyone assumes jonathan beat up steve later. Interesting to know how general Hawkins (not in the loop) viewed things
- the book referenced alot of previously mentioned movies on the s4 list or from prior duffer interviews...along with a few NEW movies ,books, plays, singers, and songs that I have to analyze for another day ...
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headinthestaticsky · 3 years
Text
The Phenomenon of the Immortal Sun: Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan, Chapter 6
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None of the characters in Twilight belong to me, all rights go to Stephenie Meyer!
Authors note: I have no idea if I used these song lyrics in a previous chapter in Eclipse... I have a garbage memory.
"Stars did fall. Thunder rolled. Bugs crawled back, In their holes. The couple screamed, but it was far too late. Her jealous heart did retaliate."
Ten Cent Pistol by, The Black Keys.
Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie looked like they wanted to kill someone. Alice, Dean, Esme, and Bree all looked confused and hurt.
Rosalie inhaled deeply.
"We need to do something about those two..." Rosalie said.
"They're way out of line... Edward especially... human or not I would kill anyone who comes near Fleur." Jasper added, fury was still in his voice.
"What can you guys do he's your brother. Besides after Bella turns they were going to go live in that cabin you guys renovated for them."
"We'll need to do something, you don't need any of this right now... I'm disappointed in him." Esme said sadly.
Before I could say anything else I could hear Bella scream.
"She must've just gotten bitten." I murmured.
"Hey you're probably thirsty, your eyes are starting to turn black, let me get you something," Esme suggested.
"That'd be great thanks... Jazz, could you hand me my phone?"
"Sure, what for darlin?" Jasper said sitting next to me.
"I need to call Sam and Leah... they need to know about this too. If we keep it from them, they could consider it a threat."
Carlisle's office door swung open, Edward ran toward the front door and slammed it. Carlisle came out with an annoyed look on his face.
"He's going to be the second death of me I swear he is."
"Well Seth already knows, maybe he told Leah." Bree suggested.
"Maybe he did but it won't hurt to check." I replied. I dialed Leah's number first thinking she might be a little more understanding.
"Fleur?" I heard her ask on the other line.
"Hey, Leah... has Seth told you anything lately?" My voice trembled slightly. I heard Leah sigh before letting out a laugh.
"Yeah, Seth told me you were pregnant calm down." I heard her reply.
"Oh, so Sam knows too?"
"Yeah but he's a bit skeptical... you know how he is." Leah mumbled.
"Yeah... but what about Bella... he does know that today is her changing day, the transformation is already happening."
"The last thing he told Seth about her is that she's not our concern anymore... it's her choice to change, we can't stop it." Leah explained.
"Listen I gotta go, I'll see you soon."
"See you later." She hung up a few seconds later. I rested my head on Jasper's should and sighed in relief.
"Here Fleur, maybe this we'll make you feel a bit better," Esme said, handing me a glass.
I grasped the cup and chugged it, it was gone a few seconds later. I didn't feel much better.
"Your eyes are still black...each bag should have the exact amount of blood you need for the next few days... How about you have some more?
I gulped down another bag, it still wasn't enough.
"This isn't good." Carlisle explained, he looked puzzled.
"Ehh...why isn't that good?" I inquired
"Well, if you can never be satisfied with the amount of blood your drinking you will eventually begin to starve. You will lose your strength, and could possibly have moments of insanity." Carlisle explained.
"I can handle this... it'll be worth it for him. Besides like you said before it most likely won't be a full 9 months."
"We'll all be by your side darlin." Jasper reassured, kissing my cheek.
"I'll monitor you whenever I can, it seems they're already growing quickly." Carlisle said, gesturing down to my bump.
Over the next few weeks, my baby grew more and more, but I was beginning to get weaker. No matter how much blood I drank, nothing seemed to sedate me. The rest of the Cullens were on edge with Edward and Bella, and since Bella was finally a vampire, they couldn't trust them at all. They weren't around much but when they were Rosalie and Jasper seemingly stood guard for me. I was zoned out, laying in an armchair since I was beginning to get sick of sitting on the same couch when Esme interrupted my concentration.
"Fleur, Leah and Seth are here." She called out.
I sat up and smiled, gesturing for her to bring them in. Leah and Seth walked in carrying some wrapped boxes with them.
Esme walked in with them before giving a quick goodbye as she wanted to help Carlisle and Rosalie with collecting food for me.
"You two did not have to get me anything." I said.
"Look aunt Leah has to get my nephew something." She said a smile was on her face.
I opened the box, a stuffed wolf plushie was inside, a dreamcatcher was underneath the plushie.
"These gifts are great thank you!"
"No problem, I thought they would be nice."
"You are the only one who thinks it's a boy, everyone else thinks it's a girl."
"I trust your instincts." Leah shrugged before pulling up a chair and sitting next to me.
"So how are you Fleur?" Seth asked, he shuffled around in his place, his eyes were scanning for someone else.
"It's getting rougher now since he's growing so big but, I know it'll all be worth it in the end."
"Your eyes look really dark, aren't they suppose to be red?" Leah inquired.
"We're beginning to think he's half-vampire half-human, he has a heartbeat it's just slightly faster than usual humans. He's definitely drinking the blood I get."
"I heard what happens to vampires when they don't feed...it gets rough." Leah said rubbing my back comfortingly.
"I have my moments but, they haven't been too bad."
"Where's the rest of the Cullens?" Seth inquired.
"Hunting, Edward, and Bella don't show up much... they don't want me to have my baby. But the rest of the Cullen's are really supportive and Jasper is ecstatic about it." I rubbed my bump unconsciously.
"But how do you eat?" Leah asked, her eyebrows were furrowed.
"Carlisle and Rose get these bags of animal blood for me." I saw Leah sigh and Lean back against her seat.
"These vampires aren't so bad after all...I'm glad Seth found Bree... she seems nice." Leah smiled.
"Oh she really is, she didn't know what she was doing when she was turned... I'm glad we're able to help her."
"So... when do you think you'll give birth?"
"Carlisle said I could give birth in a week or two... It's nerve-wracking, it's so unpredictable."
"Hey, you'll be fine... I'll stay here for a bit if you need." Leah offered.
"That would be nice but, I don't want to put you through any trouble."
"It wouldn't be any trouble besides If Edward or Bella tries something... they're going to have to deal with me too."
I laughed but before I could say anything I could sense Edward and Bella coming in, but the others were still farther away.
"Great... now we got werewolves constantly coming in." Bella complained.
Seth and Leah looked up shocked.
"Bella... did you forget you were in a toxic, manipulative love triangle for a solid year with a werewolf... for a solid fucking year." I snapped back.
"Jacob doesn't talk to me anymore!" Bella roared.
"Good for him, he needs to move on." I said, Leah nodded in agreement.
"You always have to stick your opinion in don't you?" Bella said.
"Uhh... you walked in for 5 seconds are were already trying to start shit with me." I snapped, the rage in my body burned.
"Hey, don't you snap at my wife." Edward snarled, he started walking up to me slowly.
"Back off Edward." Leah warned, she seemed to feel how pissed off I was.
"Can it mutt."
"Edward... I've been starving for almost a month... don't try me."
"What can you do? You're frail, weak, impaired." Edward pushed, walking up in front of me.
"What in the fuck are you two still doing here? I mean... honestly, you both got what you wanted, Edward you got a mate, and Bella, you became immortal. If you can't stand the decisions we're all making then why don't you just leave?"
"Because we're protected, we're the feared Olympic coven... Who wouldn't want to stay here." Edward explained, he rolled his eyes as if it were obvious.
"Oh I see... you're using them, you're too unskilled to protect yourselves so why wouldn't you want to let everyone else do the work?" I said in fake shock, Leah and Seth began to chuckle.
"I'm not unskilled enough to protect myself from you." Bella smirked, joining Edward in front of me.
"...You two fucking try something I dare you because the way I've been feeling all month I fucking dare someone to mess with me. I growled standing up on my own, it was strange... it was like a new strength filled my body.
Leah came up in front of me and put an arm between us three.
"Just drop it you three... this isn't going to end well." Leah warned.
Edward smirked and then grabbed me, I quickly flipped him around and as I warned before kicked him through the glass wall.
I heard shuffling and turned around to see Leah holding Bella down with Seth helping her out. I turned back around to the window, I saw Edward lying on the ground with Dean, Alice, Esme, and Emmett looking up at me in shock. I saw Carlisle approach Edward, a deadly look was on his face.
"Damn short stack!" I heard three sets of feet running inside Jasper, Rosalie, and Bree came into the lounge room. Bree went to go help Seth and Leah with Bella.
"Darlin are you okay?" Jasper called toward me worryingly. I couldn't say anything however as that newfound strength had dissipated, and I clutched my head. Rosalie and Jasper rushed to me.
"That's it I can't stand those two anymore they have to get out of here!" Rosalie exclaimed, Jasper just nodded in agreement.
When I was sat back down in the armchair I decided to explain what happened. The rest of the Cullens came back in, Edward couldn't look me in the eyes now.
"So sweety, what happened?" Esme inquired.
"I was just sitting with Leah and Seth when Bella started complaining that Leah and Seth were here."
Bella tried to say something but Rosalie gave her a glare.
"I snapped at her I'll admit but... then Edward started coming up to me threateningly... but he then he said that he was just living with you guys because he was being protected... and long story short Edward grabbed me and I kicked him through the glass wall." I finished. I had never seen Carlisle or Esme so mad before.
"Is that true?" Carlisle inquired.
"But..."
"HE SAID IS IT TRUE!" Esme interrupted.
Edward bit down a growl before answering.
"Yes."
"You two can't come around here anymore...nor do you two belong to this coven." Carlisle demanded.
Bella gasped.
"What a second we can work something out..." She started.
"Look I'm not going to spend decades of you three fighting all the time... and personally, I'm personal want to keep the one I like." Rosalie sniped.
"Leave at once," Carlisle said.
Edward and Bella stormed out of the house and ran off. A thick silence overtook the air.
"Uh...sorry about the wall." Jasper shushed me before pulling me in for a kiss.
"You two okay?" He asked, rubbing my stomach.
"Oh yeah he's having a blast...you should've felt him, he was kicking up a storm. He's a fighter I can tell." I said smiling. Jasper curled up to me and rested his head on mine. I saw the Cullens as well as Leah and Seth glance at each other, leaving the room.
"You know, I can feel what emotions they feel," Jasper stated.
"Really? How is he feeling now?"
"They loves the sound of your voice, I can tell. They get so happy when they hear it."
I smiled fondly on my bump before rubbing it softly.
"I'm glad you love it, we both love you that's for sure..."
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fenristheorem · 3 years
Note
Oh, I'm sorry I didn't explain myself well, it's mostly Gardienne with a fever that makes her delirious (this mostly because it would be funny) but if you prefer one where she has difficulty moving (I love the physical contact with Lance, I apologize ) By the way I love how you write! I'm glad there are such talented people in the fandom <3
Don't worry about it! I wanted to check just in case I was reading the original ask wrong because this sounded like such a fun ask to write and I wanted to make sure it was what you were looking for lol.
Thank you so much for the compliment, it truly means a lot to me! ❤
I decided to write two headcanon topics; one for Lance taking care of Guardienne who's feverish and delirious and the second where she's too weak to move. They both sounded so tempting to write lol.
These both are a bit of a scenario-headcanon hybrid (it seems I’ve liked writing those recently), but I’m certainly not disappointed by it. I really wanted to be specific throughout for the sake of adding in moments of humor and adding depth (which made it a bit of a scenario), but they do sort of evolve into more traditional headcanons in time.
~Under the cut~
Lance with Guardienne who's feverish and delirious:
Oh by the Orcale; how did this happen?
Guardienne was feeling fine... and then she wasn't.
Ewelein wasn't very surprised - somehow she always gets hurt, or sick, or something. She tells Guardienne to isolate herself, rest, and overall not do anything. Ewelein knows there’s a risk that this advice will be ignored, but she figured Guardienne may at least have enough sense to heed her warning.
And then Guardienne starts complimenting the birds that are singing in the Infirmary...
"Get me Lance, I need to speak with him about Guardienne's condition."
Upon hearing news that his partner has fallen ill - and knowing that Ewelein wouldn't send for him about something so common and otherwise not of much worry - Lance entrusts a few last responsibilities of the day to a couple seasoned warriors and heads swiftly to the Infirmary. Upon entering, the Elven nurse immediately pulls him to a quiet corner of the room and explains that Guardienne has a very high fever that’s making her delirious. She’s been irritated, apathetic, and is even experiencing hallucinations, rambling about those hallucinations, then proceeding to forget about hallucinations that she was just rambling about, and she’s - despite having a fever - been restless and walking around, trying to chase after those hallucinations and putting herself in danger.
Lance is quiet as he looks at her like she just said that the sky was falling.
“What do you mean she has a major fever but is walking around? How is that possible, or safe? Shouldn’t she be subdued?”
“Illness is a strange thing, Lance. I can’t give a real reason aside from that’s just her way of coping with the discomfort of the fever right now, and again, she’s hallucinating so that doesn’t help either. I would give her a sedative but I’m not sure I trust the possible side effects with her current condition.”
“Eweleeeeiiiiin...” A hoarse, scratchy voice called for the nurse from an isolated bed further in the Infirmary. Ewelein looked towards where it came from before glancing back to Lance with a ‘please help me’ expression.
She led him back to the isolated bed and they found Guardienne - pale and heavily sweating, it was very clear that she was sick - sitting on the mattress, shifting through the thin blanket that was laid over her. It seemed like she was searching for something...
Ewelein did a few quick checks and let Guardienne nudge around the blankets as she explained to Lance that she needed someone to keep a consistent eye on her, as she couldn’t do that due to her other responsibilities.
Lance hesitated as his thoughts flicked to his typically busy schedule, but he couldn’t just leave his partner to suffer this without doing something. He could find someone to carry out his typical responsibilities, and Huang Hua will certainly understand when she sees Guardienne’s high-maintenance conditions herself.
“I can watch out for her. I’ll take a few days off-” “The birds - the birds are getting loud...” “-to make sure she doesn’t hurt herself by accident.”
“Thank you, I’m so sorry to ask this of you but with this illness going around-” “The birds are screaming.” “-the other nurses are too busy for us to have a constant eye on her. Fortunately she’s the only case this severe.” “Ewelein can you make the birds stop screaming? I think it’s upsetting the wall rat.”
Lance was about to reply to the nurse when Guardienne mentioned the birds and the wall rat, instead lowering himself by her side to try and look her in the eyes as alarm filled his being.
“What wall rat?”
Guardienne’s eyes flicked to his and she brightened, leaning to the side - teetering all too close to the edge of the bed - to rest against his abdomen and loll her head up to look at him as he straightened.
“Laaannce. Oh, you’re the pretty icy dragon, can you get rid of the birds? You have the big sword. The wall rat is angry at them and it keeps chewing at the rocks and the fluffy things are scuttl.... they’re around... in - trying to steal... why is it so bright, turn off the sun it’s burning.”
Lance nearly loses his breath as Guardienne just rambles and gazes dazedly around the room, shocked by how such a vibrant woman was now rendered nearly helpless. She’s making absolutely no sense.
He steels himself and decides here and now that he needs to take care of her. She has no sense of reality right now, and he needed to be here to make sure she would be alright. He gently took her chin to tilt her head back so he can look into her eyes again.
“What are the fluffy things doing? What rocks is the wall rat chewing at?” Guardienne stares at him for a moment with drifting eyes.
“What... the fluffy... no wall rat, no stones, the fluffy things... haha, how did you come up with that? You’re not usually funny, haha...”
Anxiety and distress for his partner settles heavily in his chest as he observed her continuously disturbing condition. He looks back towards Ewelein as she explains that she’s been providing Guardienne with a treatment. It’ll take a few days before it will begin to work, though - if it even does work. Lance was about to reply when Guardienne cut him off.
“The birds are loud, the birds are loud. Oww, someone please make the birds quiet.” She covered her ears with her hands and tucked her chin to her chest. Lance adjusted her gently and leaned her to lay back on the bed so she wouldn’t fall over the side.
“I’m not sure what to do about the birds... she’s kept talking about them. They seem to only be in the Infirmary because she didn’t complain about them when she wandered into the hall earlier.”
“She wandered into the hall earlier!?” Alarm shot through him again.
“Yea, Adalric seemed to argue her point though. He told her that the birds are everywhere, even inside her... Thankfully she doesn’t seem to have taken any attention to that.” Now exasperation.
“Ok, how about this; I’ll settle my plans with Huang Hua for the next few days and take Guardienne to my room so I can watch her constantly. I can stock up on a few basics from Karuto so I don’t need to leave her and set someone in charge of running meals to us from the Dinning Hall. She won’t ever be alone and she won’t need to go out anywhere. I’ll send a companion immediately if we need help of any kind.”
“May the Oracle bless you, Lance. You’re a lifesaver. Please don’t get sick, though.” She persistently thanked him more as she explained a basic routine so Guardienne can recover. Healthy food, don’t let her get too hot - not a problem, he’s an ice dragon - don’t leave her alone, and the medicine should begin to take effect in the next few days.
Lance responded by saying that it was no trouble - there was no way he was not taking care of Guardienne at this point - and quickly headed out to find Huang Hua while Ewelein could spend a bit of time watching Guardienne. Fortunately she was in the Dinning Hall, talking with a few other members of the Guard, including Karuto. He walked over with a brisk note in his step and stopped in her line of sight when he was a few feet away, signaling that he needed to talk to her.
Kindly, she stepped out of the conversation as the others kept talking - and Lance spotted a warrior within his guard that he trusts before waving them over as well. He quickly - but modestly - explained the situation and they both understood, Huang Hua even offered to persuade Karuto to share a few food items as Lance explained to his colleague what he needed to do the next few days. Once everything was set, he brought the food back to his room - storing it safely in a cabinet - and went back to retrieve the sick Guardienne. 
Many strange and bizarre things happened over those few days he spent with his delirious partner - some things he thought he would never experience in his life. Like Ewelein said, she did ramble a lot about the most odd things that she’s hallucinated; ranging from watching Musaroses fly around the room (which may have stemmed from Floppy observing her from high surfaces, if he did in fact adopt Floppy, and I believe he did), the sun and moon rolling around the room, and even yelping incoherent words as she tried to run away from light flecks. When she did manage to make a coherent sentence, she was quite crass and tactless with her tone and words - she didn’t seem to be able to comprehend the idea of emotions, but her imagination sure ran wild.
When he first brought her into his room, she wandered around for a while - chasing shadows it seemed... and then she took interest in shiny things, like his weaponry.
“Ah, pretty!”
“Guardienne don’t touch that! That’s sharp!” He quickly leapt to her side and took her wrist as she reached for an axe hanging on the wall, gently pulling her towards the bed as she giggled giddily and danced around with him. He tried his best to reign her in without being harsh - she wasn’t in her right mind - while making sure she didn’t hurt herself on any surface as she flung her limbs around before finally managing to get her on his bed. She still burned with the fever as he settled her into the light blankets, but she seemed to be tempted to fall asleep as she curled into his pillows. Relief settled into Lance for a moment as he turned to quickly glance around the room, observing everything he would need to hide for her safety until she recovered.
He glanced back to Guardienne to find her gone. He’s never felt panic invade him so quickly. 
Lance quickly scanned the room again to find her nowhere - actually it’s dread at this point, he’s definitely feeling dread - and then a feminine noise of surprise sounded from the floor before his bed. He rushed to the other side of the bed to find her laying on the floor, staring intently underneath his bed.
“I can see into realms...” She was probably staring through the gap underneath his bed to look at the other wall.
The thought of tying her to the bed to keep her still passed through his mind until he decided that that would be too inhumane for such a sickly woman.
Fortunately there were a few things that Lance felt he could do well. Occasionally he would ask if she wanted tea, or something to eat, and he definitely made sure she drank lots of cold water (being an ice dragon truly had some perks, like refreshing cold water at any time). She wouldn’t exactly respond - although on occasion she was brought back to reality enough to realize and comment that she was hungry at the mention of food - but Lance made sure to keep rigorous note of when she last ate and what anyways, so she stayed well fed. It was a bit of a struggle to get her to eat sometimes, but he found that she responded well to smell, so he tried to focus more on giving her warm (not hot) or stronger smelling foods. Once she caught the scent she seemed to snap back to reality a bit and nibble on it for a while - and when he’d sit beside her and eat a meal of his own she would catch on that it was time to eat and happily devour the food until she lost interest. He also realized quickly that her heavy sweating would mean that she’d need to shower more, so while it wasn’t always possible to wash her multiple times per day, he found that giving her a small bath with a wet cloth helped her - especially with cooling her down. He did make sure to shower her at least once a day, and he did join her for this. There was no way she’d be able to shower alone with her hallucinations...
These showers did lead to rather humorous events once in a while. The first time he showered with her, she tried to run away from the water because “the rain clouds are angry at her”, but she eventually calmed down - nearly going limp in his arms - when she realized how nice it was to feel the warm water on her skin. Surprisingly, when they’re out of the shower she seems to be brought back to her sanity a bit, being able to hold a... semi-normal conversation for a few minutes, usually remembering that emotions exist and being able to accurately describe her distress. However, Lance is perhaps most proud of the other times, late at night or early in the morning, when she’s burning hot in bed next to him and he helps relieve her of this.
He’ll lean up slightly, adjusting the pillows underneath him so he can recline back while somewhat sitting up and pull her gently into his arms, letting Guardienne rest her head on his chest or abdomen. She’ll moan in distress, dozing but not yet sleeping, and he’ll call forth his powers to help cool her. He’ll lay a cold hand on her forehead or the back of her neck, letting his body temperature drop to provide a cool presence that she can curl up with. Lance quickly found that she really enjoys this, she’ll cling to him all night as her breathing evens and her sweating calms down, and he finds that it even helps calm her during the day. Perhaps Ewelein was right; her restlessness was due partially to the fever.
Fortunately the medicine works, and within a week she’s feeling better. Guardienne woke up one morning; groggy, lethargic and overall feeling like shit, but she moves around to adjust her position anyways, rolling over to find Lance awake and watching her.
“Hey...” She greets him, her voice grating in a way that nearly makes her wince.
“Good morning. Did the wall rat wake you up?”
“...”
“Excuse me? What wall rat?” Lance looks a bit worried.
“Ok, she doesn’t remember the wall rat...” He mutters the words to himself as he glances away before meeting her gaze again. “Nothing, what about the Liclion under the bed? He’s not licking your hand again, is he? I can take care of him if you need me to. I could probably do something about those birds, too, if they’re here.” Guardienne stills mid-weak-stretch and looks at him with an off put expression, somewhat afraid of his random speaking. He blinks back with a calm expression before shock brightens him and he leans towards her a bit
“Wait, are you better!? Do you actually understand what I’m saying!?”
“Yes, Lance, but I’m not sure that you understand what you’re saying.” She looks at him in a concerned manner, but Lance is busy throwing himself over her in a desperate, gentle hug. She hugs back, still incredibly confused but thankful that he didn’t throw all of his weight on her as well - she was very weak and tired, she didn’t think she’d be able to breath if he rested his weight on her.
“Seriously, are you ok? What’s happened these past few days? I can barely remember anything.” Lance draws back to flash her a bright grin, overjoyed at the fact that he has his partner back.
“Yes, I’m just fine, but you’re not going to believe any of this...” He tells her the story anyways.
Lance with Guardienne who's sick and too weak to move:
It started slow. Guardienne was feeling a bit sluggish one day while training with Jamon, finding that she tired easier than normal and her reaction time wasn’t as fast as usual. She had to ask Jamon for a few extra breaks throughout, sparking concern from the Ogre. He asked if she was alright and she said that she was just feeling a bit tired. Jamon promptly reminded her of the time where she had the infected wound from the Warrifang, asking if she could have another bite like that that’s causing her fatigue.
“I don’t think so, I don’t recall fighting anything as of late. I suppose I should warn Lance if this gets worse, though, just so we don’t have a repeat of the market scene the first time I saw him again.” Her tone was light with humor, but she did dismiss herself from training. She didn’t want to push herself if she was getting sick.
She carried out the rest of the day with normalcy, but the following morning is where she was really hit. 
Guardienne woke up sore, tired, lethargic, and nauseous. She should have seen Ewelein sooner. To make things even worse, she woke up with a headache and a pounding noise in her ears. Wait... no, that was her door.
She hauled herself out of bed, requiring much more strength than she expected, and immediately a flood of heat washed over her. Regardless of her swimming head and heavy limbs, she stumbled to the door and cracked it open as the pounding became more persistent .
“Oh, hey, you’re late for our breakfast! Mathieu was getting really worried - such a sweetheart! And Adalric started forming conspiracy theories of why you’re late. Karenn suggested that we - hey, you don’t look so good, are you alright?” Guardienne could barely pay attention to Koori’s rambling - her headache was terrible and she was reduced to clinging to the door frame to remain standing. She sighed, closing her eyes and groaning as she rested her head next to her hand on the frame.
“I need to go to the Infirmary.” 
“Ok, come on, I’ll help you.” Fortunately Koori was a kind person - flirtatious, and bold - but caring for her friends.
Guardienne leaned her weight against the Kitsune as they headed to the Infirmary, nearly stumbling every other step as even the slightest movements took far too much energy - only to encounter Lance along the way.
Concern immediately struck him, showing clearly on his expression as he jogged to meet the two before asking what was going on. After a brief explanation, Lance offered to take Guardienne to the Infirmary. Koori put up a bit of a fight - not anything odd, she just wanted to make sure Guardienne would be alright (and she was curious of the illness) - but agreed to let Lance take her the rest of the way.
Koori gently let go of Guardienne, letting her stand on her own two feet a moment before she wobbled. Lance quickly took hold of her, gently taking her into his arms and lifting her from the floor as Koori dismissed herself from them, wishing Guardienne good health. He turned and set a brisk pace towards the Infirmary.
“You really don’t need to carry me. I know you’re a bit weird with touching in front of others.” Guardienne spoke softly - tiredly - as she rested her head against his chest, discreetly glancing around the room to see a few heads turning to look at them.
“Hush, I don’t care about that right now.” His tone said that there would be no arguing of that.
He walked through the doors, immediately calling for Ewelein - who was fortunately near the entrance. Within a few minutes Guardienne was rested on one of the many isolated beds - isolated to assure the sickness wouldn't spread if it was infectious. Ewelein began to check her over and verbally nipped at Lance to shoo him out of the room, only to be stopped as Guardienne requested that he stay with her. If he could, at least.
Lance paused, surprise written on his face as he let the knowledge that his partner wanted him around for this sunk in. He wasn't really expecting this. She's usually very independent and doesn't like to disrupt his responsibilities for the day, so her specifically requesting his presence was a bit of a shock
"It's alright if you don't want to stay, I don't want to get in the way of your job, but if I couldn't get here on my own then I don't think I'll be able to get anywhere else... so it might be helpful to have you around..." Guardienne gave him a gentle, fatigued smile before Lance softened and relaxed a bit.
“It would be a good idea. She shouldn’t risk walking around right now; she needs to rest. Fortunately this seems to only effect her energy - there’s no major fever or anything, only a faint fever, so she just needs rest - but if walking around will be a major issue then it would definitely be a good idea for you to be around to help her.”
A gentle warmth settled in Lance’s chest; his partner was asking for his help, she wanted him to lean on while she recovered from this.
How could he say no to that? How could he deny his partner who needed him right now?
“I’ll stay, I’ll take a couple days off. You’ll have my full attention.” He turns to walk towards her and sit down beside her on the mattress, taking her hand in his as Ewelein shuffles around the Infirmary. Guardienne squeezes his hand and looks gratefully at him through narrowed eyes, leaning against his shoulder slightly.
Ewelein returns after a few minutes with a vial in her hand and configures a dose for Guardienne, explaining what it is, what it should do and in how long it should start to take effect. After a few minutes - when Ewelein is still muddling around Guardienne but not saying anything particularly important - Lance excuses himself to find Huang Hua to notify her of his time off.
From there it’s the same as when Guardienne was sick with a fever and delirium; he notifies Huang Hua and sets up a replacement for himself, only excluding asking Karuto for extra food / tea as he can leave the room this time to retrieve food without worrying for her, but he does notify him that he’s taking care of Guardienne so he’ll need two meals to go. Karuto grumbles about the information, possibly not believing him, but agrees to it anyways. If anything, he can check with Ewelein later to confirm that Lance is actually taking care of her.
Eventually he returns to Guardienne - who was dozing peacefully - and gently picks her up after speaking with Ewelein before heading out of the Infirmary to settle her on his bed.
She curled immediately into the blankets and pillows on his bed, and Lance observed as she took in a deep breath, letting it out softly as though the sole reason for that was to breathe in his scent. A warm spark fluttered in his chest as he watched her - he’ll be sure to provide for her in the coming days.
And that’s exactly what he does; provides for her, in any way she needs.
He does this in a lot of similar ways as when she had the fever delirium; he’ll bring her food, help her eat if she’s too weak, will shower with her so she can lean against him (she really likes the showering with the handsome, wet, naked dragon), and watches her carefully when she insists on trying to take a few steps on her own to test how her strength is shifting - after all, his room certainly isn’t the safest with all the weaponry laying around and he promised to himself, for her sake, that he would take the greatest care of her, so he watches her without taking his eyes off her when she tries to shuffle around.
However, there are many other things that he does this time that he didn’t (sometimes couldn’t) do last time. He cuddles with her - a lot. After all, she can’t walk around on her own, so she’s bedridden most of the time, and what better way to pass the time than cuddling it out? If her minor fever acts up, he’ll use the same cooling technique on her by using his powers. Sometimes he’ll even entertain her by playing around a bit, forming delicate, glassy shapes out of his element and letting her explore his creations. He may lay a hand on her arm and let flat, snow colored tendrils drift across her skin like frost, a faint chill emanating from where they appeared as she watches with a fascinated smile when they curl elegantly around her arm.
He’ll let her sleep as much as she wants - which is a lot - and is just fine with being woken up at any hour for any reason. At first she was hesitant about this - she didn’t want to disturb his sleep when she woke up randomly in dark hours of the night with no sign of sleep threatening her consciousness again - so a few nights were spent messily nudging her body around to shift her position with the little strength she had. This woke Lance up a few times, and she was quite surprised when he decided to stay up with her and offer to occupy her time. Guardienne continuously told him that she was alright, he could go back to sleep, but he refused to do so. He was just fine with being woken up in the middle of the night - under this circumstance, of course, not on a typical day where he has responsibilities to carry out the next day - and eventually one night she found herself attempting this as she lay awake and unable to fall asleep again. She pondered over his offer to wake him up if she wanted entertainment, and after what felt like hours of trying to do anything else, she reached an arm over to brush her hand from his jaw, down his neck, and to his bare chest - eventually giving in to try and nudge herself closer to cuddle the sleeping dragon. He shifted slightly at this - waking fully as he noticed her movement - and grinned softly at her, pulling her closer to satisfy her wishes. They stayed up for many hours after that, talking quietly and nuzzling each other. Guardienne is a bit less hesitant to wake up him for company after that.
Sometimes his partner will grow a bit restless staying in one place, being moved only when she needs to use the bathroom, shower, test her strength limitations, etc. so Lance decided to take her into his arms one day and carry her around his room. Why? Well, she was tired of staying in one place, so now she’s moving around without moving around. Guardienne looks at him like he’s the greatest thing to ever exist, and then asks if he could take her to the Fountain Park. He happily complies, being sure to keep themselves a bit more distanced from others than usual for privacy and health’s sake.
A few heads turn to watch them as Lance casually carries his partner through the guard - but he doesn’t pay mind. He’s busy providing for his partner what she needs; fresh air and a change of scenery. They’ll spend a fair amount of time outside for a while before Guardienne eventually grows tired again, and he’ll carry her back inside to nest into his bed and cuddle.
Above all else, Lance is sure to remember the medical advice Ewelein gave to him - let her rest, don’t push her energy, keep her well fed with healthy food, exercise her a little bit per day so she doesn’t lose too much muscle function, and overall; be there for her. Lance is happy to provide for his partner, and he’s honored that she wanted him specifically to take care of her, so when times come where she’s sick and needs to be taken care of again, he doesn’t hesitate to offer his help. The last thing he wants to do is leave his partner to suffer alone.
Fortunately, within a week or two she’s usually feeling better, and after that they carry on their routine as normal.
She does still ask for him to carry her around his room on occasion, though.
I hope you liked these! I tried to add in a fair share of humor and fluff. The first scenario almost seemed to take on a few dark tones due to how heavily I made her hallucinate, but I tried to keep it light. That being said - if anyone is ever that sick and is hallucinating that heavily, take them to a hospital so they can have proper treatment and supervision. This is merely a story written for entertainment, so I can bend the rules of reality a bit. 
Just as I thought, these were very fun to write. Thank you for requesting such an entertaining ask!
Have a request? Ask them here!
But first, please read the rules list for asks!
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we-are-inevitable · 3 years
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Okay headcannons! More will definitely come tommorow because I'm most likely going to watch the movie for a refresher but I like the amount I have so far so, here:
- Davey and Jack are adjusting to a new life at the same time. Jack is more adjusting to not running and stealing all his life and Davey is just,, trying to move on from the fact he was lied to his whole life (yeah, he's gonna have some trust issues).
- Les becomes attached to Davey right away? Like sure, he never knew his brother, but he immediately becomes comfortable with the idea. And Davey takes a little to come around (poor Les thinks for a while that Davey hates him - which couldn't be further from the truth) to the idea of not only having a little brother, but also a sister.
- Because the magic hair portion is cut in this au, there's no set reason for Snyder to take Davey. I was thinking out of pure greed because Davey was the air to the throne, of course Snyder would want that power over the royal family.
- Not necessarily a headcannon but the whole "day in the village" scene with Javid... I love them
- Like the ending of the movie, Jack does ask Davey to marry him a few times. After a few years, of course. Jack knows that when Davey feels ready, he'll say yes so he doesn't bring it up too often but he does ask a few times. I don't know, It's cute. I love them.
- Esther and Mayer are the best with Davey. They're just,, really understanding and let him adjsut to royal life on his own terms because, again, kidnapped and lied to his whole life - while still giving him the responsibilities he has as a prince.
Again, more are on the way, I just need to refresh my memory.
BRO THE WAY THESE ALMOST PERFECTLY ALIGN WITH @tarantulas4davey AND I’S THOUGHTS ON THE AU
Jack and Davey are two sides of the same coin.
David has been stuck all his life; Jack has been on the run for years... it’s very strange.
Let’s talk about Jack for a moment. From his basic, natural instinct, he wants to run. That’s what he’s known all his life; he’s used to rugged lifestyles and danger and trouble. But, from a survivalist standpoint? The castle is heaven. He doesn’t have to worry about injury, or sickness, or, hell, running out of food- he has all of this comfort at his disposal, and he’s going to make the most of it... even if he constantly feels like all of this is going to be taken from him in an instant.
Now, onto David. As we know, he’s been stationary his entire life; he hasn’t had his adventures yet. On one hand, this means he’s very well equipped to just... stay in the palace. He’s used to the sedentary lifestyle; it doesn’t bother him much. But, on the other hand... even when he’s in the castle, he longs for the outside. He longs for the chance to have fun, and get hurt, and learn from his mistakes. He longs for adventure and danger and mischief.
Basically, what I’m getting at is that:
Jack wants a taste of the life that David has always had, and vice versa for David.
NEXT:
oh my god LES
i’m just gonna paste what chandler and i said in the discord:
JAC: les is so sad because he just found out he has a big brother !! but his big brother doesn't really want anything to do with him, at least not yet
CHANDLER:  just- he wants to be a good big brother but he’s genuinely only ever been taken care of and he doesn’t actually know anything about the world, so it’s not like he can teach les until he learns and it makes him anxious that les won’t want to know him if he can’t be a g o o d big brother like everyone else has
JAC: OH FUCK AWW
omg but then like. les is the one to help davey learn new things; maybe not academic things, but social things, because les is definitely the social butterfly of the three of them
SO YES WE BOTH LOVE THE CONCEPT OF LES GETTING ATTACHED
NEXT:
so i kinda put some thought into this and while i DO agree that snyder’s main reason for kidnapping davey would be greed, i also think that it would serve as some form of revenge.
Let’s say that, in the kingdom of Corona, King Mayer passes a law that has a rougher effect on the lower class. Not necessarily a bad law, just one that affects them.
And, well... Snyder is lower class. And Snyder takes it personally.
And Snyder is determined to make Mayer and Esther’s lives that much more painful.
NEXT: 
okay so me and chandler kinda talked about this one !!
it involves sarah, so, bear with me:
David is prepared to take the throne until, on a technicality, he’s told that, if he takes the throne, he’s unable to marry Jack.
This is because the kingdom’s advisors choose who the new ruler is to marry, as to uphold the ‘integrity of the kingdom,’ and since Jack is quite literally an ex-con, it doesn’t bode well for their relationship.
So, when David is told this, he gives up his chance of ruling the kingdom and passes the torch onto Sarah, who has been training for this moment since she was a young girl.
SIDE NOTE: we also discussed Sarah being very cold and calculated toward David at first; she’s been training to be Queen for years, because she was always believed to be the eldest, and since no one knew that David was alive. But, when David comes home, everyone realizes that, oh... David is the eldest, by no more than seven minutes.
So, on that technicality... Sarah would have been training her entire life for nothing if David were to actually take the throne.
This does cause a rift in their relationship (or lack thereof), and it isn’t mended until David reveals to her that he’s not going to rule Corona, because 1) she’s WAY more qualified and, 2) he doesn’t want to give up his relationship with Jack, the man he wants to marry when the time is right (even if it takes a few years).
FINALLY:
Esther and Mayer are... trying their best.
While discussing the AU, Chandler and I came up with this fact:
David, who is normally very levelheaded and calm, would have a lot of problems with emotional regulation due to his past of being lied to and mistreated and, because of this, he would take it out on Esther and Mayer from time to time.
They understand, of course; David is still working through his trauma, and he is certainly not the son he would be had he been allowed to grow up in the castle, but he’s trying and that’s all they can ask of him.
There are moments, though, when they’re out of their element. They’re tasked with helping their eighteen year old son learn the basics of royal life and human development and social skills all while trying to run a kingdom; of course they would be met with a few snags.
Sometimes they rush him into things, and sometimes they make false assumptions about what he knows and doesn’t know, but at the end of the day, they’re trying to be the parents they’ve never been able to be for him, and he’s eternally grateful for the fact that they... aren’t giving up on him yet.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF THESE AHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!! I’M IN TEARS OVER THIS
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hydrangeaho3 · 3 years
Text
I'm supposed to be your brother
summary: Wilbur gets mad at Tommy and somehow Phil's the one left to deal with the aftermath
a/n: this fic in no way represents the real people and is merely a work of fiction. If any CCs have a problem with it pls let me know. This is also part 1 of 3 parts. Anyways, happy reading!! 
PART ONE
By the time Wilbur has finally finished his last meeting, it's already 8:00 pm and he's dead tired. His meetings had been absolute bullshit today, some stupid managerial shit he doesn’t feel like taking care of. He’d been planning to go straight home, drink some wine and then pass out before he remembers that he's promised to stream today.
He’s only about a couple of blocks away from his office when the first raindrops hit his face. Wilbur looks up. The sky is slowly darkening and the clouds are beginning to gather. He keeps his pace, hoping that it won’t get too bad until he’s reached his office but his luck doesn’t hold out. He’s only a block away from his house when it really starts pissing it down.
“Shit”
He starts to run and is just pushing the lobby door open when he hears the first clap of thunder. The noise shudders through his entire body, chilling his bones even further. He sighs before making his way to his office in the sea of white doors that surround him. Wilbur pauses before the door. He already knows what's going to greet him inside. Now Wilbur isn’t a neat freak or anything like that, he is a streamer after all but he does pride himself on a certain level of cleanliness.
He cracks open his office door. A giant mess greets him. Papers are lying everywhere, his Home Home poster is lying on the floor. There are old takeout containers next to his keyboard. Frankly, it's a disgusting mess. He’d been meaning to clean up but lately, he's been so busy and not in the greatest headspace and so it had slipped his mind.
Wilbur resolves to clean up the mess after his stream today. He’d been planning on a casual stream, one that didn’t involve a lot of energy or require him to be constantly active and engaged. Maybe a few rounds of GeoGuessr or chatting with Phil and then ending the stream a little early.
He sits down in his chair, sweeps away some of the food containers before hovering over the GoLive button. He hesitates for a couple seconds before clicking on it. His starting soon screen opens up and he watches the viewers start to trickle in. He gives it ten minutes before turning on his face cam and looking over at his chat. The messages are slowly scrolling through the screen.  
Hi Wilbur!!
BIG MAN DUBS
POGCHAMP
Are you okay? You look tired :(
He’s streaming!!!
He decides to ignore that last one before commencing his starting spiel.
“Hey, guys, how we all doing today? Doing good? Well I’ll tell you how I’m doing and that's shit, I’m doing absolute shit. It’s fucking thundering outside right now. Can you hear it chat? It's so goddamn loud.”
“Anyways chat, I was thinking we could play some GeoGuessr you know, just relax and chill out today.” His chat seems pretty okay with that. They’re used to watching Wil play GeoGuessr for hours on end.
He’s been playing for almost an hour now before he hears the discord sound that signifies that someone’s joined his VC.
“BIG MAN. EYYYY WILBUR!!!! How are you???” Wilbur winces as Tommy’s voice plays through his earbuds. It's obnoxiously loud today, even more so than usual, and it’s grating on his ears.
“Hello TommyInnit, how are you?”
“I’ve been doing good Wilbur. Played some Among Us with Tubbo and Schlatt and the rest of the gang. Other than that I’ve been doing my Big Man Activities. You know how it is Wil” Wilbur smiles at the familiar response.
“Ah, I see. How was your Among Us stream?”
“It was really really good. I got to play with Pokimane Wil. THE Pokimane,” Tommy shouts, apparently very excited about this occurrence. “Remember the time we both played with her? Oh god, that must have been so awkward for you Wil. Imagine if Nikki had been there, it would have been so so awkward.”
Wilbur lets out a sigh, he’s really not in the mood to deal with this bit. He’d only planned to stream some GeoGuessr not talk to Tommy about Pokimane and Nikki.
If Wilbur had been blessed with the ability to see the future, he would have known that this moment was where it all started going downhill. Unfortunately for Wil, he wasn’t prophetic so he kept streaming.  
Tommy and Wilbur ended up switching to Minecraft and it doesn’t take long until Tommy’s coming up with some sort of bit involving drugs and an attempt to scam the players on the server. Normally, Wilbur would have loved to play along, leaning into the big brother and young brother dynamics but today it just feels wrong. Maybe it's the cold that has seeped into his bones or maybe it's the clutter surrounding his desk or maybe it's Tommy’s voice grating in his ears.
Tommy’s been talking about how he’s going to need some name tags so his plan works and Wilbur keeps trying to interrupt him and telling him that he’s not in the mood for this bit but it's to no avail.
“Wilbur, Wilbur, what do you think of my plan? I think it’s really good but I need some name tags, oh- I also need some diamonds.” he keeps going and going and is somehow unable to tell that Wilbur is teetering over the edge.
“Tommy, tomm-”
“Oh, they’re some diamonds back in Pogtopia. Oh man, this is such a good plan Wil. No ones going to see it coming,”
“I don’t thin-”
“There’s a fucking reason people call me the biggest man on this SMP. Right Wilbur, right?”
And that's when Wilbur falls over the edge he’s been so delicately balancing on for the better part of two hours. He mutes Tommy over discord before closing Minecraft, filling his stream with only his face cam.
“Alright guys, I think that's where we’re going to be ending today. Hope you guys enjoyed the stream and I am going to be sending you off to Philza. Make sure you guys are nice in his chat and don’t spam him. Okay? Bye chat,” Right before he ends his stream for good he spares one glance at his chat.
bye Wilbur!
adios chat :)
did wilbur seem mad at tommy?
Wilbur felt really off today. Hope he feels better soon.
they really are like brothers
tommy was being a little shit today
Somehow Wilbur manages to ignore all of the texts commenting on how much they loved his stream and how much they enjoyed the Wilbur and Tommy interactions and instead all he focuses on is the last message he managed to read before the stream ended.
tommy was being a little shit today
“Hey Wil, that was a great stream today, I had a lot of fun”
When the silence becomes too loud and Wilbur still hasn’t answered Tommy began talking all at once again.
“Wil you okay? You seemed kind of off this stream,” This time it was the cold that had seeped into his bones, it was the clutter surrounding his desk, and most of all it was Tommy’s voice. As loud as ever, abrasive and unceasing in his ears.
“TOMMY. Do you ever stop talking? God, it’s so fucking annoying. You need to learn when to shut up,” Wilbur’s panting like he’s just run a marathon instead of playing Minecraft for the past hour.
The silence begins to ring, neither of them saying a word in hopes the other will have the right words to make it okay again. Instead, there's a small pained sound from Tommy’s end and then “I’m sorry Wil, I’m really sorry. I just wanted to- nevermind. I’m just sorry, really sorry,”
There’s a small click that signifies that Tommy’s left the call and then it’s just Wil, stewing in the storm he’s just created.
Oh God, what has he done? He- he just told Tommy to shut up. He had just verified every single fear in Tommy’s head. He was supposed to be the one that was there for Tommy, not the one hurting him. How many times had Tommy come to him, crippled with self-doubt and and how many times had Wilbur dispelled his fears with promises that Tommy was enough. He was supposed to be his big brother.
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boop-le-snoot · 3 years
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PARTY FAVOURS | CHAPTER 19
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Summary+TWs: We're talking serious feelings here, okay? Reader, you're literally emotionally illiterate. You also have PTSD, which is finally addressed - kinda. Bruce does his best. And he also knows how to kiss... But y'all know that if you read my ramblings about lucid dreaming/shifting/whatever... Chile-, anyways...
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My phone kept buzzing and I ignored it until Bruce declared it was time to take a break and review the results. Whilst the man was typing up the data on a nearby StarkPad, I fought the sudden influx of messages that I received from haters and supporters alike after Tony decided on tweeting a reply that could be interpreted in an alarming variety of ways. It was a smart move, I'll admit, but a fucking bother for me nonetheless.
Disabling my DMs and dealing with a follower increase in the thousands wasn't hard; I didn't consider myself a problematic asshole and didn't need to be afraid of "exposure". The parties I went to - I doubted there was any blackmail material in there and the few nudes I'd sent over the years were always face-less. As a gen Z, I knew my internet safety.
The trolls didn't bother me either. It was more sad than annoying, people shitting on others for clout. Iron Man stans were witty, at least, if jealous. I must admit I've never considered the influx of popularity I would experience should I publicly out myself as a friend of Tony's. Girlfriend? Intern? Science child? Whatever cover story he was going to feed the press worked for me, as long as I still got the hugs, the kisses, the dick and the attention.
"Tony..." Bruce groaned, evidently done with the data processing, had to have opened his social media to see his own skyrocketing popularity.
"Yeah, our Tony is being a Tony again," I chuckled, having reset my social media settings so my phone wouldn't constantly beep, vibrate and bother me. School was going to be fun.
Bruce shook his head, fond, coming over to my side of the lab after removing his own hazmat suit. His eyes shiny with newfound knowledge and hair turned adorably fluffy in the confines of the head covering. He was smiling softly. "Food?"
"Sure."
We chewed our sandwiches in silence for a moment, each of us lost in our thoughts.
"I still can't believe Tony told everyone on Twitter you're his girlfriend, usually he keeps this stuff private or schedules a fancy press conference," Bruce's tone was thoughtful.
I raised an eyebrow. "Is that what it was? Seemed ambiguous to me..." I trailed off, confused.
"He worded it like that on purpose, I mean, you're still in high school," The scientist was confident in his words. "But I know Tony. I'm a hundred percent sure that he meant exactly that. Aren't you?"
Shock flooded me. Suddenly, I understood I completely misread the situation. "Um, no? I thought we were, y'know, just fucking. We never defined our relationship and we're definitely not exclusive." I said, chewing on my lip. "You make a valid argument, I'm a high school student and he's a grown ass man that does grown man stuff. Putting aside the fact that he could have anybody in the world so why would he choose me?" I was rambling, thinking out loud. Discussing my feelings has never my strong forte. "It would be stupid to impose monogamy on such a complex man like Tony. Downright idiotic to expect a genius to confine to social norms just because it suits others." I finished with a wave of my hand. Another bubble of thought that had festered within me for the longest time. I felt relieved, finally voicing it out loud. A weight had been lifted off my shoulders, a weight I wasn't previously consciously aware of.
Bruce was watching me intently, with an unreadable expression that held the tiniest bit of awe, admiration perhaps. The silence that followed was unnerving. I fidgeted with my hands, not really knowing where to put them or where to look.
"You know," He took off his glasses, fiddling them in his hands. "I'm not going to sugar coat it. For the longest time, I thought you were going to inadvertently hurt him when you get bored with whatever you've got going on. I respect you, don't misunderstand me, but you are young. Now, I've changed my mind. You've changed my mind," He punctuated his statement with his hand on mine, grasping it. "I think you managed to understand him in a way most people can't. Or don't want to. Understand and accept him in a way that some of us can't even after years of working and living side by side with him." Bruce's gentle fingers skimmed along the top of my palm.
"I don't always understand Tony but I do accept him," I agreed. "Because Tony is a great man."
"I think you're in love with him," Bruce said, absolutely having ignored my previous statement. Just like that, point blank, he pushed to the surface the very feelings I got so good at ignoring. There was no rest for me in this place.
My heart fluttered, picking up the pace. I kept my mouth shut, not trusting it whatsoever. My thoughts became akin to panicked hares, jumping and zigzagging aimlessly in my skull. I didn't see the point in defending myself because the scientist had pointed out the obvious.
Bruce looked at me, softly, warmly. "And don't think we haven't noticed the rise in team morale. The improvement not only in communication, but on the battlefield, too. It's easier to entrust your back to someone with whom you've shared a laugh and a drink the previous night. You're the glue that keeps us together."
Something warm and wet was on my cheeks. I stared at our clasped hands, his words echoing in my head over and over and over. The moment I realized I was crying, I willed myself to stop and failed spectacularly - only more salty fluid streamed down, some of it getting in my nose, on my lips. The sleepless nights were making me unstable.
It took a single sniffle for Bruce to pick me up and wrap up in his kind embrace. I didn't resist, tucking my face into the crook of his neck, holding onto the back of his lab coat, inhaling the smell of his skin and chemicals. It was familiar, calming. Minutes ticked by with me slowly leaking the tension out of my body.
"He loves you, too, maybe he just doesn't realize it yet." Bruce whispered into my hair. "I've never seen Tony so happy, even with Pepper. You are special and you are loved."
There was something unsaid, I felt it. It hung in the ear, it burned the tips of my ears, stood sharp on the tip of my tongue. "I love you too, Bwucie-bear," I whispered into the space between his ear and his jaw. His arms tightened around me.
The man placed several chaste kisses in my hair, running a palm over my back. In moments like these, the crush for him, the very crush that got out of control, blossomed fully into a deep sense of respect and admiration. He made me feel safe. He said all the right words at the right time.
Drowsiness overtook me. As usual, any worries and anxieties I had evaporated, once Banner had his arms around me, shielding me from the world. I didn't forbid myself this time: delicately, my hand slipped through the man's soft messy curls, eliciting a contented sigh.
"You haven't been sleeping well," He more stated than asked.
I had no choice but to nod. "Clint keeps dying in my dreams. Or even worse, he doesn't, he just suffers, endlessly, painfully." I admitted.
Bruce flinched under me, tensing. My face was in between his hands in a second, the scientist sternly looking into my eyes. "Why didn't you say anything? All of us assumed you were okay after what happened." He looked - angry. Not Hulk-out pissed but Bruce-pissed, which equalled a kicked-puppy look seasoned with a great pinch of disappointment.
"I am okay." I lied, shamelessly. "It's getting better. That's why I want to have a party - relax a little, dance, socialize. I don't think Tony would let me go on my own so I figured I can convince him to throw one here." I looked away. It was better for everyone if I dealt with my own problems - they were superheroes, not babysitters.
Bruce frowned. "Why wouldn't Tony let you go?"
"Because of that one time I snorted coke," I rolled my eyes at Bruce's naiveté, leaving the less obvious parts unsaid. Tony knew exactly what I was going to do once I got free reign, he considered it destructive and told me so himself. Admittedly, he had a point but still... I wished I'd been given a choice.
"I'll talk to him," Bruce nodded firmly. "That's not acceptable. He can't forbid you from making mistakes and learning from them."
He was met with my shrug. No excitement came from me regarding this particular turn of conversation. I was drained, limbs like jello, thoughts sluggish. My face was drooping.
"Let's get you to bed," Banner stood up with me wrapped around him. "You need a nap."
"No," I protested. If I went to sleep now, only Satan knew at what ungodly hour I would wake up.
"Yes, Princess," Bruce smirked. I wiggled uncomfortably - when he went all caretaker like, my ovaries wreaked havoc on my body and brain. My thoughts weren't appropriate if Bruce wanted me to see him as a father figure. The signals he was sending were mixed. People around me did that a lot and I wasn't sure how to act so I usually just went with the flow. I decided to do the very same thing in that particular moment.
Curiosity sparked within me, tightly interwoven with the deep longing that settled below my collarbones whenever Tony or one of the others wasn't sitting next to me or talking my ear off. I've almost forgotten how it was to be alone with my thoughts. The maze of my very own self was becoming unfamiliar territory. Alarming.
I allowed Bruce to help me shed my shoes and outer layer of clothing, shivering in the coolness of my room. Despite being a frequent visitor, I still had a 'guest' room in the tower - I mostly stayed at Tony's or Wanda's anyways. During our sleepovers neither me nor the witch minded sharing her enormous bed, to be fair, we could have fit at least two more people in it besides us. Tony took care of his own - all the tower's residents had their apartments furnished with the best stuff.
"Sleep now, Princess," Bruce chastised, tucking a blanket around me, having noticed an earbud in my ear and my smartphone in my hand. I had hoped to kill some time online, damn well knowing sleep wouldn't come easy.
"I don't think I can fall asleep, Bruce," I admitted, looking away. There was just so much going on. My brain wouldn't shut up and if I couldn't drown out the cacophony by being productive, I'd troll the internet, as usual.
Banner sighed, coming to sit next to me, leaning against the headboard. Gently running his fingers through my hair, brushing the outside of his palm against my cheek. "How do you usually deal with this?"
Involuntarily, my eyelashes fluttered. "Tony does most of the work," I admitted coyly. The engineer had a whole arsenal of tricks up his sleeve - sexy and exhausting tricks.
"I see," Bruce muttered, thoughtfully.
I opened my eyes to see him looking down at me with a look I haven't seen before. The usual mildly absent, slightly anxious face he wore was replaced by something I could only describe as hurt envy, like a kid looking at their schoolmate who had all the newest, coolest toys. I used to be on the receiving end of that look far too often and I hated it.
I hid my face against his leg, rubbing my cheek on the raspy corduroy fabric of his pants. "Got any good ideas of your own?" I wondered lowly, thinking about what in the world possessed Bruce to wear corduroy trousers on a semi-casual day, in the twenty-first century.
"Only bad ideas," He replied in a matching low tone. His soft fingertips relocated to my nape, goosebumps rising down my back.
"Humour me," I grinned against his leg.
Bruce was quiet for a moment, the sound of his thinking screaming louder than any words could have done. Knowing the scientist so closely, I found out he was full of surprises - bolder than he appeared outwardly and competitive to a boot. He thought he had a lot to prove to himself and by extension, to others. The unknown, the mystery dangling in front of my nose was exhilarating, trepidation addictive. It took me away from the chaos in my mind.
A gentle grasp on my chin had me turning to look upwards, Bruce's face flushed and focused on my own, open and trusting. He needed to see the obvious, that I trusted him to take care of me. He pulled and I followed, sitting up on my elbows, coming up to his shoulder level, our faces inches apart, enveloped in the unique, intense scent of his herbal tea. It was a tart, strong smell and it suited his quiet but passionate character.
Once, twice, I caught my eyes sliding to his plump lips. They looked far too appealing in this position. I usually strategically stayed away from positions so compromising, fearing the very thing that I'd already let happen, however this time the atmosphere was different. We stood on ambiguous grounds, waiting for Bruce to make a decision.
The man wasn't stupid, he saw the way I looked at him. The nightmares and inability to take a break from life put a significant dent in my resolve to keep a distance between us, romantically - I could have settled even for a pity kiss, a pity fuck. Anything to put my brain on pause.
His lips were softer than I had imagined. Skilled, too, he easily steered the kiss into the shallow waters of our combined longing.
With Tony, it was like an avalanche. Tony ran hot like Peterbilt engines, hard and fast, almost angry in his race for satisfaction. Tony was a man that was used to getting whatever he wanted and it became plainly obvious when we fucked.
Bruce was the opposite. He savoured the kiss, losing himself in a way that could almost be described as delicate. Bruce was humming, softly, as we tasted each other, holding the left side of my face with careful fingertips. Almost as if he was afraid to break me. The feel of his skin on mine was soothing in a way that made me sigh and relax even further.
"Wanna make you feel good." His voice had dropped, gone husky, but his breathing held even. He must know all about self-control.
"Yeah," I was ready to agree with whatever the fuck he was offering. My eyelids remained shut.
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THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie
PS. Letsby, please don't combust. The underwear is coming off in the next chapter. 😶
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